#I never thought writing nice Chuuya would be so difficult

[unicornpopcorn14]

13 for the ship prompt! :D

Ship Prompts 13- Write about your ship celebrating one of the members birthdays. Ship chosen: Queerplatonic Skk I got carried away with this (3.5k words aaaaa) 😭😭 Hope you enjoy it, Darcy!! :D

Saccharine

“You’re aware what day of the year it is, right?”

Dazai’s eyes widen, fork still in his mouth as the chatter of the restaurant fades in his ears. It’s been four– almost five years, surely Chuuya isn’t alluding to that. The moment he meets the other’s peeved face, however, his mouth gapes, with the fork still inside it, and whispers in horror,

“Don’t-”

Chuuya cuts him off with an exasperated sigh, “I enjoyed those 51 days of me being a year older, but alas. The time has come for me-”

“Do not-”

“-to be nice to you for the whole day…”

“NOOOOO!!!” He grabs his hair as he lurches back, other customers turning to their table, “Chuuya, if you’re a sadist, I’d much rather find out in better ways!” He bangs on the table with flat hands, to which Chuuya’s veins bulge at, “Would you quit with that awful annual torture-?!”

“Come on, you do this every goddamn year!” Chuuya bickers back, “Indulge a little in what I put myself through for your ungrateful ass.”

“You do it because I don’t like it!”

“Well, true.” Chuuya shrugs, leaning back with folded arms, “But don’t you get at least a little tired from doing this shit constantly? I’d say this is a much needed change of pace-”

“First of all, how dare you suggest that this ‘shit’ is but a front. Maybe you can’t help but pretend to hate me– and I get it, after all, who could resist my charm? But I truly hate you-!”

“Uh huh.”

“-Second of all, I’d rather stay alive than ever go through that quote-un-quote: ‘needed change of pace’ for the third time in my miserable life!”

“That so?” The smirk that Chuuya wears sends Dazai’s long-have-been-numb nerves prickling in foreign agitation that he hasn’t felt in a long time-

“Oh my.” Chuuya’s tone and eyes instantly soften, and Dazai recoils back before he can help it, “Miserable life, Osamu? I’m so sorry to hear that. We can talk about it, you know-”

Dazai clasps his ears shut, “Shut uuuup!!!”

“As you wish,” Dazai grimaces even further because Chuuya just listened to him, “but do know I am always here to talk, yeah?” Chuuya unsheathes one of his gloves to take Dazai’s hand into his own, expression so uncanny as he genuinely smiles at Dazai. The brunette feels sick-

“I’ll avoid you for the whole day if you keep this up!” He threatens crackly, can’t bring himself to take his hand away, “The Agency is definitely pummeling without me helping with the paperwork.”

Chuuya normally would tell him that he slacks on the job anyway, but now he just simply closes his eyes, that same damn smile on his face, “Just say the word, and I’ll give you all the space you need. Never doubt that, mackerel.”

The pet name doesn’t grant him the normalcy he’s desperate for when Chuuya says it in that tone of voice, “No- You’re not supposed to-!” Dazai can sense that his lack of acutely predicting Chuuya’s responses might drive him crazy very soon, so he attempts to try to calm himself, “Aren’t there mafia business for you to attend, Mr. Executive? Does Mori even know you’re here?”

“Don’t worry, Osamu, I freed the whole day just for you.”

“Stop calling me that-”

“Anything you want-”

“Raaaaaghhh!!!” Now he takes his hand back, clutching it on his chest as if he’s been burned, “You’ll crack. You’ll definitely crack. There is no chance you’re keeping this up forever. Your tiny brain won’t handle it!”

But he knows that isn’t the case, because Chuuya’s tiny brain had handled it for the whole day during his seventeenth and eighteenth birthday, and now at 23, his tolerance to Dazai’s insults have significantly heightened, to the brunette’s sheer disdain.

Chuuya tilts his head a little, hair swaying, completing his sickeningly sweet demeanor, “I’d do anything for the most precious person in the world.”

“Eugh- I think I threw up in my mouth a little.” He gags with a fist on his mouth, voice groggy-

The waiter comes up to them, telling them that the other customers have complained about Dazai’s occasional shrieks. Chuuya, still so freaking sweetly, informs her that they were leaving already, pays the restaurant without complaining once about Dazai never pulling his own weight, and they take off.

“This is a nightmare.” Dazai says after a long moment of silence between them, something that never happens, “My feisty dog is suddenly nice, he’s definitely transpiring something wicked against me!”

Chuuya- Chuuya laughs, “You know you’re ridiculous with that…” He doesn’t say it meanly, wiping a tear, which Dazai’s brain haywires at-

“Really, now? Laughing at calling you my dog?” The smallest of frowns dares crease his forehead, “This is too much, even for you.”

“What? You’re funny.” Dazai’s face pales- greens even, “So, where do you want to go, birthday boy?”

Dazai bristles at the nickname, then inhales to calm himself, an idea springing up, “Fine. You asked for it, Slug!” He knows just the perfect way to break him, “We’re going to the arcade.”

He sees the flash in Chuuya’s eyes, and deems himself victorious. Chuuya would never maintain this bullshit at the arcade given his ridiculously competitive nature. He’ll definitely scream at Dazai once or twice out of habit more than anything-

Nothing.

Clearly Chuuya’s willpower has also improved through the years, because there isn’t a single aggressive shout, there isn’t any accusations of Dazai tampering with the machines (he had), and though Chuuya laughs and enjoys the rounds, what he utters after his loss is the straw that breaks the camel’s back,

“Aw shucks. Good match, that was fun.”

Dazai leaps from his seat and turns around the machines to reach the redhead, grabbing his cheeks with panicked eyes, “Chuuya, Chuuya are you in there?! I think you’ve been possessed!” He speaks to the eyes, sensing their amused confusion, “Do something to tell me you’re in there! Any sign!”

Chuuya smiles.

“Ahh!” Dazai lets him go instantly, “Begone, demon!!”

“Come on, now.” The not-Chuuya says fondly- eughhh, “Up for another round?”

“No!” This didn’t work. Dazai needs to think of other ways, make up a plan. Operation: exorcising this cloying demon out of his partner begins in-

“How about we go to my apartment? I have a surprise for you.”

Dazai’s eyes dart as his mind runs in terrifying speeds, addressing the other without looking, “I don’t trust you with surprises right now. You may be small, but you’re no less terrifying.”

Chuuya chuckles, “You’ll love it, trust me-”

Dazai gets into a fighting stance, gasping, “Do not speak of trust with that tone of voice, not-Chuuya!”

Chuuya chuckles again, and his silky tone coaxes him to follow him to his apartment, nevertheless. Dazai can’t believe he’ll have to endure seven more hours of this, planning to break a thing or two of Chuuya’s belongings out of spite if nothing else.

“Don’t think your façade is fooling me, I can see right through you!” He announces impatiently from the couch, leg bouncing up and down as Chuuya pours drinks from the kitchen, “You gagged at least twice through this, didn’t you? Admit it.”

Chuuya laughs again, a record in Dazai’s book. This is so ridiculous. “Stop cracking me up, I can’t pour the drinks.”

Dazai sulks, sinking into the couch, “Shut up…” But it’s weak, replaced by flusterment he can’t ebb down. He feels suddenly helpless with the lack of the reactions, and wonders if he’s losing his touch. The antique vase looks like it wants to crash into the floor in full speed so much right now.

“You’re a little red.” Not-Chuuya is suddenly in front of him, sitting down as he gapes up at him in amusement, “Cute.” He attempts to give Daza his drink.

Dazai, with crossed arms, huffs and turns away, “I’m not talking to you.”

“Why? Did I do anything wrong?” Chuuya asks gently with a smile, placing the glass on the table. Dazai turns even further in order to hide the other from his peripheral.

No, you didn’t. And that’s the problem.

“Your hair looks soft. Fluffy.” Dazai suddenly feels fingers running through the back of his head. His noddle whips so fast his neck feels like it cracked,

“Ew, ew! Don’t touch me, cheap-Chibi-replica!!” He doesn’t exactly flinch away, fuming, “The real Chuuya calls my hair a dirty mop all the time! Do better!”

Not-Chuuya brushes his bangs this time, fixated on them as he speaks, “Maybe he never told you those things because…” He pauses, eyes down-casting a little. Dazai begged him to say ‘you’re a pain in the ass’. It’s what he expects, it’s what makes perfect sense, it’s what aligns with the Chuuya he knows like the back of his hand, pleasepleaseplease-

“…he never really thought he deserved you enough to do so.”

Dazai rigids, “WHAT?!”

“He’s afraid of things he’ll lose.” Chuuya, to Dazai’s absolute disdain, explains, “So he tries his best to push everyone away. Everyone he’s sure will be too precious to him, everyone he’ll latch onto just a little too much, he tries his best to maintain his distance from th-”

“Chuuya, I have never been more serious with you in my life: Please stop.” Dazai numbly says, suddenly so, so exhausted.

The redhead’s mouth clasps, as per request, but he clarifies that it still isn’t over, “Only six more hours and I will.”

“Why?” Dazai stresses, uncomfortable, “You can end it here. Nothing obligates you to-”

“You never asked for your surprise.” Chuuya cuts him off.

Dazai blinks, turning to him, “If I see it, will you stop?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Of course I will.” Dazai rolls his eyes, “Now, on with it. If it gets the real Chuuya out, then the sooner the better.”

Chuuya smiles, but there is something solemn regarding it. He gets up, with Dazai observing his every move, and scurries through a drawer big and wide enough to accommodate stacks of files and documents. Dazai’s eyes narrow, never taking interest to rummage through this particular drawer for how boring its contents appear to be, but now his interest in piqued, as Chuuya finds what he’s looking for with a small: “Aha.”

Dazai thinks he sees an envelope in Chuuya’s hand as he ambles closer, but that can’t be right-

“Here.”

“Your surprise is a letter?” Dazai truly hasn’t been more confused in his life. He hates that he can’t see where this is going, inspecting the brown envelope as he speaks, “Chuuya, I don’t think there is anything you can’t verbally say to me now, do you? This is usele-”

His eyes widen, breath catching in his throat as he reads the name embedded on the paper.

From: Odasaku

Time seems to stop while Dazai reads the nickname once, twice. It’s in English cursive that can never be Chuuya’s handwriting, and his hands tremble ever so slightly the moment he registers the credibility of what he’s holding. This is real.

“You- wh-” He looks back and forth between the envelope and Chuuya’s gentle eyes, gaze never seeming to want to leave either.

Chuuya sits on the couch, voice subdued, “Your Executive desk was cleared by me after your defection, as per my own request. I was admittedly selfish– looking for anything you might have left for me before you left. Something to explain, anything-”

“Chuuya-”

“Hey, let me finish, will you?” Chuuya sends him a soft smile in reassurance, “I found this instead, read the first two paragraphs before I closed it again. It explained everything I needed to know, Dazai.” He leans back, drinking out of the wine glass, “You can read it privately if you want.”

But Dazai doesn’t get up, scrambling to take the paper out with shaky fingers. His heart wildly throbs once a long wall of text meets his widened eyes,

This is but my latest prose as a person worthy of being a writer, a person who is not tainted with blood. Dazai, if I die before seeing you one last time, I do not wish to end things between us on such terms. There is a lot I wish to tell you before I leave…

Dazai reads every word, eyes welling against his will, making the letters blur and scramble as one. Oda speaks of their time together, his fondest memories, his ideals- tells him he would’ve left a letter for Ango hadn’t it been for the circumstances. Tells him the name of his adopted children, the characteristics each of them had.

I, truly, have considered you one of them.

Oda informs him of how much he resembled a burnt black cat the first time they met, how he doesn’t seem as burnt now. Dazai chuckles wetly as Odasaku says that he’s happy he’d known him, even for a short while, even in their circumstances.

Whatever path you’ll choose after what occurs, please remember this:

The brunette suddenly hiccups, an ugly sound seldom forced out of him. He covers his mouth, finds his lips too shaky to form words, heart feeling more than all it had felt in almost half a decade-

“He said he’s proud of me, even before knowing I’d defect.” He isn’t sure why he’s whispering this to his partner, “He-” His cheeks feel wetter than before, to which he looks at his hand. Droplets of salt continue to fall on them so assertively, he thinks they might cause them to bleed,

“What is this- what have you done to me…?” Dazai knows he’s crying, he just doesn’t know why he can’t will himself to feel numb again. Everything is hazy and sloppy and wet, and he keeps the precious paper away, afraid it will get caught up in that uncontrollable mess…

“Do you hate it?” Chuuya asks faintly, with some regret in it. Dazai shakes his head, leaving the letter on the table-

“No, I don’t but- these monstrous things won’t stop.” He croaks as he wipes with both hands on his face, and to his horror the tears double, the sobs get even more violent, “I think I’ve been possessed, too…”

“Hey, come here…” Chuuya guides him through his fit, which Dazai blindly follows, till he finds himself with a weight on his laps and both arms and legs embracing him. Dazai latches back so tightly, trembling as he puts all of his force into the fists that both hit Chuuya lightly and grab the back of his shirt with. He doesn’t have to wipe the tears when Chuuya’s garment acts as a napkin, soaking every single thing he wishes to hide.

“He said he’s proud…” Dazai repeats, squeaks, burying his nose into the warmth of his partner.

“That he did.” Chuuya’s ungloved fingers caress his hair, and don’t stop until the persistent tears finally stop flowing. Dazai stays huddled in the warmth for more seconds despite himself, selfishly wishing to steal it all, before shifting to indicate his desire to draw away, and Chuuya instantly gets off of him.

He can’t bring himself to look at the azure pupils no matter how hard he tries, eyes shifting away to the table and the carpet and the hands on his lap.

It has been long since he’s felt this bare, much less over a gift. He had received many birthday presents in the last two years especially: Ranpo would give him all the sweets he could offer, Kenji crops from his field, Kyouka pretty daggers, Atsushi hugs and flowers, the Tanizaki siblings a cake of their making, Yosano fancy wine bottles, Kunikida would treat him to a meal, and Fukuzawa would orchestrate the whole party…

While it would all be appreciated, he never really felt any joy over being one year older. Most times he regrets ever living this long, so he doesn’t regard the gifts or parties done in his honor with as much gratefulness as he feels he’s supposed to.

But this? This one letter lying opened on the table?

It might be the best birthday gift he’d… ever received.

And he wants to let Chuuya know that.

“Uh.” What was he supposed to say again? What did normal people say in situations like this? Thank you? Sorry? “You’re… appreciable, slug.”

That was neither- what the fuck, brain??

Chuuya would have pointed his terrible attempt at being grateful out at any other day, but now he simply smiles relievedly,

“I’m glad you like it.”

This version of his partner is starting to prove that he isn’t so bad, after all.

Dazai frowns, still avoiding eye-contact, “No, um, what I mean is… mmmm….” He sinks so far in the couch, till only his head is reclining by the back of the seat. He crosses his arms and averts his face, physically forcing himself to say it, “tnks…” he whispers.

“Hm?”

It’s a beat, then Dazai roughly flops his head on Chuuya’s lap, because he can’t articulate his appreciation with words, and thus wants to show it by doing something Chuuya likes, which is having to look down to see Dazai instead of the other way around. He feels the other tense for a second before his hand reluctantly cups his brown hair in question.

“Thanks.” Dazai grits into Chuuya’s pants, then rolls on his back, finally meeting the amused blues, “Don’t get the wrong idea, demon, you won’t catch me saying this to the real Chuuya at all. But you get a pass. Only this once.”

“Might as well feel honored, huh?” Chuuya chuckles, and it’s truly genuine.

A small smile cracks Dazai’s face for a mere second. Wannabe-Chuuya is really more acquainted to handle these moments than regular Chuuya. It’s definitely why he waited for Dazai’s birthday to hand the letter to him– an excuse to show his raw and real care that Dazai undeservedly bathes himself in.

“So, do you want him back, now?”

Dazai doesn’t, but can't ever shed light on contradicting himself, so he dramatically says instead, “I’ll think about it.”

The redhead’s brow ridges, though not with his typical ‘I’m done with your bullshit’ frown. It’s with a smile.

He wonders when Chuuya ever learned to be this good of an actor.

Dazai feigns a long sigh, “Fine, you can stay a little longer…” then pauses, blinking upwards, “Wait- am I betraying real-Chuuya that way?”

“I’m sure he doesn’t mind.” Chuuya says as he strokes Dazai’s unkempt bangs away from his face.

Dazai’s mouth curls in displeasure because he likes it, “I hate you.”

“He hates you too, buddy.” It’s better to hear it in third person, like this part of Chuuya forever believes he is worth not being hated, “Wanna spend the rest of the day here or go somewhere else?”

“Energy’s gone, not-my-Chibi.” He twirls the long end of the fiery hair in a finger, “Outdoor activities will be a chore…”

Chuuya shakes his head and rolls his eyes in fondness, “This might be the lamest birthday setting ever.”

“That’s exactly right.” Dazai sneers, “But when were we ever conventional with the way we do things?”

“Touche. At least I got a cake and a candle.”

“Ugh, no. You know I hate formalities.”

They carry it out anyway, with Dazai ruining Chuuya’s attempts to sing properly, and Chuuya being patient through and through.  

His partner must have expected Dazai to want to stay home after receiving his gift, because they spend the next six hours doing everything Dazai likes– They play videogames, they cook and Dazai makes the kitchen an unsalvageable mess, they wildly dance together and stumble on their feet, they watch murder mysteries and brain rotting soap operas in a pillow fort, they play with cards and Chuuya loses every single time.

It's until there is fifteen minutes left till midnight, with Dazai getting his hair braided, that he finds himself glancing back with a devious idea in mind. Testing Chuuya’s willpower one last time wouldn’t hurt, would it…?

“Ah, so. I hate to admit it– who am I kidding, no I don't,” He gives an exaggerated winces as he glances back, “but I maybe, sorta bleached all your coats while you were in the restroom when I was mad at you.”

Chuuya pauses his braiding, staring at Dazai for a long while… then all of the veins on his body pop-

He gets yanked backwards by the hair, “Ow, OW!” Dazai laughs because finally, “My, Chuuya, you’re back sooner than expected!”

Chuuya grabs him in a chokehold, which Dazai tries to escape from, “I can’t fucking take it anymore,” He growls, and Dazai laughs even harder, “My coats? MY COATS, DAZAI?!”

“It’s tie-dye season! Never heard of tie-dye season?!” Dazai slips downwards, successfully scrambling away as Chuuya attempts to grab him but he isn’t fast enough-

“GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!”

Dazai's half-done braids bounce as he sprints, “Bring nice-Chuuya back first!!”

“SAY GOODBYE TO HIM FOREVER, BASTARD!”

“What?! Noooo, call me Osamu one last time!”

“IN YOUR WILDEST FUCKING DREAMS!!”

They pause the chase when Dazai’s behind the kitchen counter and Chuuya’s outside, if only to catch their breaths, “You know, if it weren’t for the fact that me being nice isn’t as effective on you, I’d have made it a staple on your birthday as well!”

Dazai grins evilly, as Chuuya pales.

“How would that go, again?” Dazai taps his chin, “Oh, Nakahara-Sama, You’re so smart and cool.” Chuuya’s face turns green, the piled urge to vomit since he’d started his act finally getting to him, “You are definitely not a dog and you’re actually the perfect height, goes nicely with your figure and strong build-“

“No, fuck! Euuugh!!!” Chuuya actively empties his stomach in a conveniently placed bucket, Dazai claps in victory,

“Aha! Maximum damage!!!” He points at him, “What comes around goes around, Slug!!”

“You’ll fucking pay for that!”

Chuuya breaks the door of the kitchen down, adding to the unhopeful mess Dazai’d made. Their wild goose chase keeps going till three in the morning.

And Dazai? Keeps laughing till all his heart’s content…

[akutasoda]

Hii! I absolutely love your writing!

Could i request dazai (and any other characters if youd like) with an softhearted s/o whos mother is very manipulative and just falls into it like she deep down kinda hates her mother cause her mother has all control of her life whenever shes around her and she has to put on an act of being perfect 24/7 for her mother and she cant even tell her mother that she feels horrible and tired becouse of this cause of the manipulation and she would feel bad for her mother

Im sorry if its confusing or written wrong english isnt my first language!

mother knows best

synopsis - when their s/o has a manipulative mother

includes - dazai, chuuya, nikolai

warnings - gn!reader, reader has a controlling mother, fluff, angst with comfort, hints towards murder, manipulation, wc - 717

a/n: hii! thank you! :) just wanna say if anyone has a similar situation to this please speak up, i know it may seem difficult to do but it helps so much

osamu dazai ★↷

↪he absolutely loved how genuinely kind and sweet you were. he found it hard to believe somebody like you really would date someone like him.

↪he thought it was rather nice that you're mother always reached out to you and checked ok you often. but from around the second time he saw your mother around you he knew something was up.

↪he would catch the very quick tenses and looks of gatred before you put on your best smile and continued being kind. he never said anything because he felt like it wasn't his place to get involved in your family affairs.

↪but he really couldn't help but ask after your mother always seemed to decide what you were doing and when - especially because you became so tired looking.

↪and when he asked you really couldn't help but finally let it all out. all the years of your mother controlling your life, making you feel horrible and how you felt so helpless. all dazai could do was hold you and let you get all your feelings out.

↪he knew a thing about manipulation and so had no issue in stepping in himself and started to remove your mother's control. little by little ridding you of the manipulation from your mother until she could finally leave you alone.

chuuya nakahara ★↷

↪he really felt someone as sweet and kind as you shouldn't end up with someone in his line of work but he'd allow himself as he really loved you.

↪seeing how close you and your mother were made him feel happy for you. he did think it was really sweet and he could only wish for that sort of relationship with family - that was until he started seeing some signs.

↪he started getting an off feeling whenever your mother spoke for you, deciding what you were doing. he started really disliking your mother after seeing how tired you were becoming.

↪he wouldn't hesitate to voice his concerns to you and your mother and hated the fact that she still answered for you. so instead he asked you directly and wanted an answer, he wouldn't want you to be hurt by your own mother.

↪and when you finally let all your feelings go he only offered you his undivided attention and support. he absolutely hated how someone that was your family could do this too you and so would happily intervene.

↪if you allowed him, he would be brutally honest. sparing no sympathy in his words and telling your mother outright to leave you alone and to let you be your own person and wouldn't let up until she got the message.

↪if you didn't allow him, he'd begrudgingly step back. but he'd still oppose your mother very happily and would always make sure that she let up her control of your life slowly and subtly.

nikolai gogol ★↷

↪he thought you were the absolute sweetest. your genuine kindness would be something bew to him and he quickly learnt to happily indulge himself in it. he practically clings to you for affection

↪he also liked how close you were to your mother. he admired that connection to your family and always thought it was sweet. but he very quickly started thinking the opposite.

↪he would note how she always spoke for you and decided what you did. how you always seemed more fake when she was around, which was often, and how sometimes you'd even become tense.

↪he would have no issue in asking about the whole situation but he gathered it was probably sensitive so he would wait to ask you in private. he would listen diligently to your worries and how tired you were.

↪hearing about how your mother controlled you made him quite upset. it really went against his whole desire for freedom and so he'd be willingy to do absolutely anything to help you regain that freedom.

↪if you were fine with it, he'd happily be brutal with it. now i wouldn't go into details but he hasn't exactly got a moral compass and would happily dispose of your mother.

↪but if you disagreed with his methods he'd become more subtle. removing your mother's influence bit by bit until you could completely remove her influence over your entire life.

[whorefordazai]

Ayo, I know ur requests are closed, but I saw your gender bent hc, and honestly the boys being the ones genderbent would be 👌👌👌

I had too much fun writing this 😏 and was kinda confused on what pronouns to use when describing them so uhh (him/her???)

bsd boys: gender bend edition

ft. dazai | chuuya | oda | aku x reader

genre: fluff, slight nsfw

warnings: slight depictions of sex

Dazai

Y’all think normal dazai is pretty? Just imagine him as a woman 🙈 FUCKIDN LORD🏃🏼‍♀️

Just imagine him with long messy brown hair, the same outfit but like hotter.

If he were to become a woman out of nowhere, the first thing he’d do is flash himself in the mirror to inspect his boobs🕺

“Wow...these look so majestic, I feel so lucky😧 is this what you do every time you’re in front of a mirror, belladonna?”

“...not every time...ಥ‿ಥ”

Would definitely boost his ego 100x more because now he can seduce men too😏

But dazai, why was seducing men your first thought 😄

Imagine giving dazai head oh fuck

“Y-y/n...” Dazai’s soft moans whimper from under you. You chuckle onto the soft skin between his legs. His hands grip the sheets and he tilt his head back in pleasure.

“Make some more noise for me, pretty girl.”

Anyways😏🤚

Getting his first fucking period. He has no idea what to do haha! Blood is everywhere, his stomach hurts, he feels as though he really wants to kill himself right this moment.

“I hate being a woman ಠ_ಠ”

“Babe, you should get used to this.”

You help him clean up and get him some light snacks along with a heating pad. Both of you snuggle up on the couch. Your arms wrapped around Dazai’s small figure🥺

“Y/n, can you sleep on my boobs?”

“...why ᇂ_ᇂ?”

“I wanna see what it feels like ◕ ◡ ◕”

“...okay ʘ‿ʘ?”

You softly lower your head onto his chest, careful not to hurt him. Wrapping your arms around his waist, you bury your face in his shirt.

A giggle escapes Dazai’s lips. “Wait, that tickles!”

“Squish...squish...” you mumble, softly squeezing his boobs like a plushie.

“Okay, how do they feel ^ｰ^?”

“...very nice. They feel very nice ಠ◡ಠ”

He wears some of your clothes on the daily, but now he’ll wear almost half your wardrobe.

He feels really pretty in all those dresses you have oh my🙂

Chuuya

He’s already so hot and pretty, just imagine him as a girl. HOLY FUCK🏃🏼‍♀️

Curly red hair, that signature fedora, and even that choker around his neck. BUT ADD BLACK EYELINER OSHHS

He would definitely feel a little weird in his new body. Wouldn’t exactly like it at first and will definitely be complaining.

Give it a few days and let him look in the mirror and see how hot he looks as a woman😏

“Y/n...you’re still...attracted to me, right?”

“...babe, you have no idea ●‿●”

His attitude is the same so now people are even more scared of him. At first glance someone would think he’s just a cute little sweet girl but then BOOM he kicks them 20 feet into the air (only if they piss him off)

He now has the double struggle of being short and being a girl 👩‍🦯

FASHION SHOWS !!

This mf loves styling himself and looking really damn good, so once he finds out there’s a whole new world of outfits he can try on as a woman...just know you’ll be shopping for a while.

He’s a fucking mafiosa, always dressed in sleek black outfits with a hat that lets his red curls peek out. The black lace veil hiding his blue eyes just pulls the whole outfit together so well

He sometimes lets you do his makeup cuz he thinks he looks prettier with. The both of you will paint each other’s nails (he is somehow is very good at it. Anything you wanna tell us, Chuuya🧐?)

You thought you liked chuuya dominant as a male? Honey, you ain’t ready for him as a woman🏃🏼‍♀️

“Am I making you feel good, baby?” Chuuya looks up from the space between your legs. A few strands of his red hair fall onto your skin as he moves them away. You shiver, feeling his smooth fingertips dangerously graze against your core.

You can only nod, feeling his soft lips leave a trail of kisses on your inner thigh. The faint print of red lipstick followed the trail.

RED LIPSTICK ON YOUR INNER THIGH HOLY FUCKSJ🏃🏼‍♀️💨

Oda

I’M GONNA CRY he would be (already is) SO HOT

At first he wouldn’t have much of a reaction like, okay? I’m a woman now.

Little does he know there’s more to it than that😆

He’d go about his day like normal, sometimes even forgetting that he’s a woman now. But his hair keeps getting in his face?? Men keep staring at him?? Some kid thought he was his grandma??

It was sweet at first, but it was so overwhelming and uncomfortable.

He comes home, in slight frustration. Exhaling as he closes the door and begins to take off his coat, something harshly tugs at his hair.

His hair was stuck on the mf zipper ಠ_ಠ

You try to hold in your laughter at his misfortune. “Here, let me help.”

While you’re untangling his hair, his face remains still and stoic. “When will this be over ᇂ_ᇂ?”

He is actually very suddenly interested in skincare. Why? Not sure.

He sometimes sees you putting on all these serums and face masks but never felt the need to ask you about it. Plus, you sometimes helped him shave-that was the closest thing to skin care this man has ever gotten to.

But now he has a face of a woman, so his skin feels a lot smoother and softer. He thinks to himself, should I be taking care of it?? What were all those things y/n was putting on her face🧐?

WAIT THATS SO CUTE OSKJS🏃🏼‍♀️💨

So you help tie his hair into a pony tail and the both of you put on face masks😆

He somehow really enjoys doing all these self care tasks that he’s never thought about in his life🤔

Imagine the both of you sitting in a bathtub, rose petals covering the water. Your heads are wrapped up in towels as you sip on wine. Cucumbers are placed on Oda’s eyes.

He could get used to this😏

Sexy time🙈

He’s a very quiet dom on the usual, but suddenly he’s very vocal when he gets his pussy ate‼️

He’ll love it when you top. Now he kinda knows how you feel when he’s pounding into you 😏

If oda actually had kids as a woman, he would a A HOT MILF😳

Akutagawa

He’d be like what the fuck is happening ಠ_ಠ?

Wouldn’t give much of a reaction on the outside (pretending to play it cool) but on the inside he’s having 20 mental breakdowns at the same time.

Please help him😁

He’ll definitely dismiss you saying “I can handle it myself ಠ_ಠ”

“Ryu, your hair is in knots and you’re limping on your heels ◔_◔”

“...ಠ~ಠ”

Taking a bath is now even more difficult for him. He feels embarrassed even looking at himself. His chest has these two lumps and his hips suddenly have curves and his skin feels smoother and softer.

His boobs catch his eye in every outfit he wears. No one else really notices or cares except him. Finally one day, he’s had enough. He stomps to you with a determined face, pointing at his chest.

“I want these off. Now ᇂ_ᇂ”

“...I don’t think it works like that...◕ ◡ ◕?”

Eventually he’ll have to adapt. He’s still the same person but just imagine aku as a hot emo goth girl 🕺

Will be 10x scarier than before now that he’s discovered black eyeliner and actually likes growing his nails out (reminds him of claws to rip off people eyeballs)

It’s a love/hate relationship tbh LMAO sometimes he loves how powerful he feels in high heels. Other times, he hates how others look down on him just because they underestimate how powerful he is (even as a woman)

Can I just add, Atsushi almost did a double take and called aku “the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen” before he found out it was aku ಥ‿ಥ

Aku noticed, Atsushi noticed that he noticed, and they both just decided to keep silent and move on as if it never happened 🤝

[xo-cuteplosion-xo]

I don't know if this counts as a comfort request, can you do a Chuuya and Dazai comfort request of them comforting/saving the reader from a abusive parent?

Yes, this is, of course, a comfort request, if it helps you feel better, than it counts. I’m sorry if this doesn't live up to expectations though, abuse is one of the few things I struggle with writing for personal reasons (don’t worry, it’s nothing physical, just a lot of mental strain loves), so it won’t be detailed or thoroughly explained, more hinted/briefly mentioned. Since the request was vague, I was unsure what kind you needed, so I went with what I’m more comfortable writing. With that out of the way, here are 2 small drabbles.

Saved from an abusive household (comfort fic) |Dazai, Chuuya x Reader|

Warning: Emotional and (maybe some hints to physical) abuse

Words- 1141 (combining both characters totals).

Dazai-

590 words

To say he was angry was an understatement. He never understood why his emotions were so, so uncontrolled when it came to you. He was hardly in terms that he may actually love you. With the wind blowing over your face, whipping through your hair, he couldn’t help it. Noticing every mark, the tears, everything. He noticed it despite how you acted like everything was fine. The hoarseness of your tone was too great a signal that, well, you had been crying longer than he had been standing here. Dazai wanted to know, no, he needed to know who had made you so upset. He felt, odd as it may sound, protective. He would never strike out against you or raise his voice. He’d never hurt you, not in any way. So the flinch you made when all he wanted was to cup your face, to whisper that he loved you, it hurt. He couldn’t keep his face from showing the shock. His eyes darting around for any other signs. Clearly, he’d noticed before, but you always rode it off.

Standing within the brutal rain, you watched Dazai with a clouded mind. There are… many ways that often go unnoticed to the public. While cuts are difficult to hide, the scars on the mind… are impossible to see. What is not shown on the surface is never seen. Anxiety, depression, social awkwardness, the flinch brought on by a loud noise or voice, the shaky trembles of hands when being scolded. Signs that go unnoticed, so as Dazai looked at you with eyes full of anger and pain, he waited until you flew to his chest and broke down. His hands never once left your back. His voice a mere whisper as he ran fingers and told you the best news of your life. “You can live with me. It isn’t much, but its, it’s better than going back there.” His voice held so much anger, disgust, and pain you thought he may drop you in bed, then run to kill the two who told you over and over how much they loved you, only to contradict themselves. 

He did something along the lines of that. When you were asleep in an oversized shirt and a pair of sweatpants far too long for your legs, he sipped from the agency-provided room, and well, he went straight to the place he knew you lived. It happened to be on your file in the agency. He didn’t bother knocking, but instead picked the front door lock with skilled ease, and underneath the clap of thunder and flash of white light, he slid inside. Dragging water into the room where two older adults lay. As if they didn't notice their child's absence. So pulling out his gun, he shot at a perfect angle. A direct middle between heads. He watched them scramble awake, only to see he was already gone within shadows. He played the part of a demon for you tonight. Raising their paranoia as far as he could, before appearing with a dramatic flash of lighting having calculated the right timing. He warns them if they ever tried to make themselves the victims, or if they set a pinky on your skin, he’d make their lives a living hell. After all, he was once Dazai Osamu, the demon prodigy, the youngest mafia executive. It wasn't a title he liked anymore, but he would admit returning to such a mentality for a bit would be alright, if it meant protecting you from pain.

Chuuya-

551 words

Beneath the rays of moonlight showering through a ginger held you tightly in his arms. Tonight he played the part of the big spoon, cuddling you close to keep you safe. It was always like this in storms. His arms wrapped around you, running down your arms. His lips on top of your in passionate breaks here and there. The two shared wine and laughed away the storm. Every time you jumped, he dropped to kiss your shoulders and between your neck. He kept trying to comfort you with all he could. He never felt it was enough. Especially after the ones that were within seconds of another. The louder the tremble, the more you shook, so when four or five repeated in a row he worried. Sure, it was normal to be scared of storms, but you were scared of the noise in general. It was an issue he had hated because, well, we all know Chuuya likes to yell a lot. He never realized till he was actually angry with a coworker, the flinch you make is an expectation, like your bracing for something. That’s how he found out. The next morning, how you claimed to be too sick to go home. The way you wanted to stay with him on your week off. How you'd rather just keep working.

“I’ll kill them.” It wasn’t anger directed at you, and he kept his tone soft, despite how difficult it was. Behind his clenched teeth, dagger-like glare, and the snarl, he was positive he’d frightened you accidentally. “Let me kill ‘em.” He grumbled, shoving his gloves into pockets as he tried to reel in his temper. He doesn't give two shits if they are your parents. So telling him no is frustrating. Clearly, if they did this, if they could be cruel enough to make their child afraid, then they didn’t deserve somebody so forgiving and kind like you.

He let you stay the day with him. There was no way he’d make you go home. Not when he’d seen how terrified you were when he tried pushing you out the door. He’d cuddled and spoiled you rotten with gifts all day. And when you finally crashed, his lips tapped your forehead, and he was gone. Searching through records till he found the address. He was straight to the point, breaking a window with a nice kick. His feet heavy with gravity as he grabbed the collars of those two blind bastards. Yes, he knew he could make it worse. However, that would only happen if they were not afraid of him. An overprotective guard dog. Trust me, this is one loyal bastard you never want to cross. He couldn’t kill them, but he could hurt them. He could yell at the top of his lungs and shout in their ears. Send them in walls, maybe break a finger, or two. On his way out, when the couple stood shaking with fear, his head tilted back just enough to see the scene he’d made. “Hurt them again, and I won’t listen. You’re really lucky, my baby has a golden heart that forgives so easily." He half-expected them to call the cops, but he guessed that meant angering the mafia more. What could he say, he was a pretty well-known man.

Tags (if you wish to be added send an ask) : @jadegreenimmortality

[dreamkidddream]

Hello sunshine, would it be possible for you to write me some headcanons for my beloved Chuuya, Dazai and Atsushi? I was thinking about them having a fragil health s/o? Maybe they work an office job in the ada/pm and they somehow fall for the s/o? I hope this is no trouble and you have inspiration to write this. If you don't like this you can just ignore it. Thank you very much :)

Hi anon! Thank you for the request! So I’m assuming that when you say fragile health s/o is that the reader can get sick easily/overall very weak? I hope that I got the interpretation right, and I didn’t please feel free to send it in again so I can do it over for you. Reader is gender neutral, and hope you enjoy!

TW: Suicide (Dazai’s part, nothing heavy is mentioned, and it’s only in one line) and Abuse (Atsushi’s, nothing heavy is mentioned)

Easily Sick/Weak S/O with: Chuuya, Dazai, and Atsushi

Chuuya

Oh man, he hated this feeling. He already hated you even working in the Port Mafia (even though he was there too), but he hated it even more since you were weak physically

Don’t get him wrong, Chuuya knows that you’re a strong person through and through, but it was so easy for you to get hurt or sick working on the field, it honestly made him worried

What also made him worried was how he was falling for you and quickly. He’s an executive! He doesn’t have the time for romance, and what if (really when if because he wants you so bad you have no idea) someone decides to come after you because of your ties with him? It was already so easy for him to lose you now, he didn’t want to chance things and speed up the process

But, you were just...a really great person. You were determined, always kept your head up, didn’t take anything from anyone (you backtalked Mori once and still walked away with your throat intact, so that was a sign), and it didn’t help that you were really easy on the eyes (he couldn’t help it, you were already attractive, and those things were just icing on the cake for him)

Chuuya didn’t know how you could stand being in a stuffy office all day, so he always stopped by to check on some “information” for some “case he’s working on). It started out genuine, but then it became a daily occurrence, even on his rare days off. 

One thing about him is that he’s a true gentleman, he knows how to treat his partner right. Bringing lunch to you, flowers sitting on your desk for no reason with a random note (”Hope you have a good day”, “Saw these when I was out, made me think about you”, “These don’t even compare to how beautiful you are, inside and out”, etc.), driving you home no questions asked, even offering you his favorite bottle of wine to share

He knows that he’s being cheesy but he was pulling out all the stops just for you

He knew it was risky for you to be out all the time, so whenever he did finally ask you on an “official” date (you thought sharing his wine was a date but he said that he wanted to show you off, not just in the office), you guys were either in a fully reserved restaurant or at his place. Seriously the way his place looks was like luxury! Damn you knew his job paid good money but wow! This was better than going out honestly

He confessed when you went over to his house one night. It was a particularly rough day for you both, and you just needed some reassurance which Chuuya was happy to give. It seemed like he went on for hours, but really it wasn’t too long, and you were in tears by the end of it. When he ended it with, “anyone would be beyond lucky to have you (Y/N), and I wish it were me. I wish I would have the chance to show you how much I really do love you, words aren’t enough for me. I’ll take the chance if you let me, and I swear you won’t regret it. Be mine, (Y/N), I’ll treat you like you deserve, and you deserve more than the world.”

You both understood the risks that came with dating you, but he swore that he would protect you with his life. If you did get sick, he couldn’t be there for you during the day because of his work, but he made sure to text you every hour on the hour to check on you and as soon as he got home, it was caretaker mode until you both went to bed

He bought you your medicine, the fluffiest pillows ever known to man, I mean did everything and anything. The dude was loaded, money was not an issue obviously

Chuuya is a great boyfriend, and will honestly do anything it takes to keep you safe and happy. He loves you after all, and he doesn’t mind all the extra work that comes with it (he doesn’t even see it as work, just precautions, which still isn’t a problem)

Dazai

He was not only worried about your health and safety, but also the fact that he was falling for you. Dazai was a very secretive person who didn’t like to show his true feelings, and he was scared of what he’s feeling for you. Him being attached and actually caring about people never paid off for him, as his past would tell you...

But here you were, being a bright, shining light in his cruel, bleak, dark world. He tried to keep his distance at first, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to you. You were so fun to be around, despite your condition! You always helped as much as you could in the office, being the first one to pick up on his work when he was too lazy busy to complete it and having reports ready for any meetings, even on short notice. You looked out for him, both as a coworker and as a caring friend, and he could tell

You even helped him annoy Kunikida sometimes, which just made you even more stunning in his eyes

He felt himself falling for you more and more everyday, finding excuses to stay in the office just to be next to you. “(Y/N), please don’t strain yourself my dear! Let me handle this for you, I would be a terrible suitor if I didn’t.” “Dazai, I just have to staple these- nevermind, thank you my knight wrapped in bandages!” 

Kunikida would of course hate this and drag him out every time, but all that it concluded in was Dazai whining and complaining about how it was so unfair that he was being kept from his “precious (Y/N)” and how they must be so lonely without him. It got to a point where Kunikida made a compromise with him: if he actually does some work and help on the field missions, then he can spend more time with you in the office

I feel like they forget that Dazai is actually crazy smart and most likely already knows the culprits to whatever cases that they are handling, and he was definitely waiting for this outcome. No extra work for him and more time with you. It’s a win-win!

When he does eventually accept that he was in too deep, he started to take his advances in a more serious manner (I mean he was always being serious but he was not going to hold back anymore). He’s a great listener, so anything that said wanted that was said in passing conversation, expect it to be on your desk with a little sticky note. You had a strong craving for something? What do you know, Dazai brought just enough for both of you to share (and he gave you the bigger portion of it). You want to go see the stars? Sounds like the perfect date night for you two!

That’s how he actually confessed to you, right underneath the stars. It was perfect, you guys were away from everyone, having an amazing time just stargazing. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this at peace, and you were to thank for that. He knew that while he was risking his life on a daily basis, but you were constantly fighting for yours. You couldn’t even go on a mission with how easy it was for you to get an injury you couldn’t recover from. But he had faith in you and in himself, that he wouldn’t let another person that he cares for perish in front of him. He made that promise to you, and that he would do everything in his power to keep it. He will not fail you

After that night, your dates were usually held at your place, and it ranged from cooking together to having movie nights. You didn’t have to spend money really, you were both fine in the house in each other’s arms. And if you did get sick, you thought he was clingy before, WHEW did it get more intense

You had to push him off of you too many times to count. What part of NO HUGS did this man not get?! You were already suffering, he didn’t need to either. He did try to make this a double suicide opportunity though, and you were not very happy

Was banned from cuddles for 3 weeks straight, it was pure torture for him

You were Dazai’s distraction from this horrible joke he called a life, and he was welcoming of you. He embraced you, never complained about your weakness or anything. You were someone that he can proudly say that he loves, and that won’t ever change

Atsushi

He was so nervous, so scared. He doesn’t even know how to look everyone in the eye, how was he suppose to admit that he started to like you more than a friend?!

Atsushi was in love with you, I mean he was in deep. He couldn’t help it! You’re just so nice, so easy to talk to, always there to give him a pep talk and just keep him in high spirits. It just wasn’t fair what hand life had dealt you. He wanted to spend time with you outside of the office, but due to your delicate situation, he was so scared to. What if the Port Mafia tried to strike and he wasn’t strong enough or quick enough to protect you? He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him. He wouldn’t be able to live-

So he tried (keyword: tried) to spend time with you at work. But with Kunikida on his ass about work, and Dazai being Dazai making his life difficult for his own amusement, made it difficult. Every time he got a chance, before he could even speak a word, someone needed him for something. If he did somehow had the spare time to talk to you, he would either choke or say something that he really meant but chickened out last minute and tried to change it (which was kinda your fault, you like to tease him sometimes too)

“So, um, (Y/N). I remembered that you said you liked that one takeout spot, so if you want I can bring you some back?”

“You would do that for me, Atsushi? Wow, it’s almost like you’re like my boyfriend!”

“Yep, I don’t mind! It makes me happy when you’re hap-w-WAIT HU-“

But besides that, he always checked on your whenever he got back from his missions (even if he was the one injured and bleeding), brought you back small trinkets or food, and always walked you home, not caring if it was out of his way

He hated that you were confined to the office majority of your time working, but he was worried that literally anything could and would happen on his watch, and he didn’t want to risk it. With Kyoka tired of watching him in distress and even Dazai showing a sliver of compassion for him, they helped him set up an inside date

But first, he had to ask you. Dazai wanted him to do some elaborate, over the top, proposal for asking you out (which Atsushi was pretty sure that he just wanted him to panic and embarrass himself) and Kyoka suggested that he gets you tofu (which he was also convinced that she just wanted some again). He decided that he was just going to have to suck it up, and do it himself. He has been through Hell and back, and if he survived that, then he could ask you on a date damn it!

So he finally got some courage, and directly went up to your desk. When you looked up, you flinched back. What was with the intense look in his eyes?! But you realized soon enough when he bowed and asked you to come over for a date. And of course you said yes!

The date was marvelous, and the poor boy was sweating so much you thought he was going to pass out! Whatever Dazai and Kyoka did to the place blew his expectations out of the water. Latern lights strung up along the walls, your favorite meals readied, little messages stuck to the wall made just for you, and the biggest/most comfortable blanket fort that you had ever seen. It sounded so simple, but one look into your eyes and you were overjoyed. He really did mean it that it made him happy that you were happy

He confessed with you snuggled into his side, so anxious yet at ease. Despite everything that he has gone through, you were brave too. You were stuck in that stressful environment, had a body that could quit on you after one bad day, yet you still encouraged him every day, every time you spoke to him after he’s had a bad day, or an encounter with Akutagawa. He was so convinced that he didn’t you, that he didn’t deserve anything good in his life after the abuse he endured at the orphanage. But you didn’t let him believe that for a second, and he’s indebted to you for that

He poured his heart out to you that night, and ever since, he’s been a lot more confident, both in his ability and in himself. You gave him that push in the right direction to trust himself more, and everyone could see the change (Dazai was pretty proud to be honest)

Dates after that were spent at his apartment, relaxing. Once in a blue moon, you guys would go to the arcade where he won you guys matching Tiger phone charms (he was a little embarrassed but he loved you and the charms too much to let it affect him)

If you did become ill, he would panic so bad that you had to bring him back down to Earth while hacking up a lung (not literally but it felt like it). He tries his best, he’s a little shaken because of how distraught he would get due to your fragile body, but he does care for you pretty well. If you need anything, he was too scared to leave you so Kyoka would be his go-to (with the promise of tofu afterwards)

(But don’t worry she’s a little worried for you too)

Atsushi knew he could never forget the horrors that he experienced at the orphanage, but you reminded him of the strength he had to not let it hold him back. He was your hero without a doubt, but you were his in the sense of how strong you really are, and how you didn’t know or believe it when he told you. You became an overall positive influence on his life, and helped him see life a little brighter and more meaningful. He loves you more than you could imagine, and he would continue to prove it to you in everything that he does.

[keepyourlife]

What fics do you like/read/recommend?

Difficult question, cause recommendations I can give but only very limited.

What I like? Slow Burn, Angst, Fluff, damn it I also read Smut sometimes, AUs (I mention something about that later). Basically: I want to suffer, I want to cry, but give me a happy ending. I LOVE good interpreted characters and I LOOOVE well-written relations. What I mean by that is, basically, if a sibling relationship is weirdly written, I tend to just.. not read the story at all. Does that make sense? Whatever.

While I read a lot, I rarely save what I read and more often than not I kind of.. lose half of the fics I read? There’s one I am currently obsessed with, which I found via @worstloki:

doubt truth to be a liar. absolutely amazing tbh. it’s about a younger Loki suddenly appearing in the Avengers Tower, without any memories about what happened (post Ragnarok), it’s got trans Peter & cultural differences between Asgard and Midgard I find quite interesting. Cause while I do know that comic Loki mentioned that the concept of gender and sexuality do not exist in Asgard the way they do on Midgard (I think that is what he said), I found the differences portrayed in that story very believable and also super interesting, cause I didn’t think of that? Especially interesting when you know a bit about the Viking age and its culture, which MCU Asgard clearly was set to resemble.

So, next I need to put a little disclaimer about myself: I normally do not like Reader fics, because more often than not they’re super ooc and I just find this whole.. “y/n” thing kind of offputting and it just makes me uninterested very often. However I have a friend who do likes these kind of stories. And she lets me know. And she needs someone to talk about these stories, so there’s that. And I read a handfull of them and tbh only those I actually find 1. well-written, 2. well characterised & 3. no darn use of “y/n”, cause no I never imagine myself there, I create characters in my head for each story.

A Job Million PRs Would Die For by @saiansha. Jesus fucking christ the amount of times I re-read this story. Honestly, it is, I think, the first Reader fanfic I read in my entire life, was super weary at first cause. idk. I know some people on this website (and AO3, let’s be real) that just post very weird stuff. This one has an interpretation of Loki that I can 100% believe and it is one I support. That was one of my main reasons to continue reading, but it’s also the general writing style that I like and that there’s a Reader character, who is not a helpless damsel in distress. Ultimate proof of that was the most recent chapter. (dear author knows my thoughts, I dared to dm cause I was just. very enthuasiastic about this story)

Broken Crown by @michelleleahhh​. Second one I started reading at one point cause my friend kept asking me to read it. a kind-of AU? It’s set in Asgard. That’s what you need to know. Again, a story that had me from the beginning, once I started. For the writing style and for the characterisation. The story really had me guessing sometimes, cause,, well-written! and really good dialogue!! damn you Freya!! and a decent Reader character that doesn’t have me ripping out my own intestines. (also very enthusiastic about this story, yes this phrasing as a meaning)

Foruneyti by Evaldrynn or @foruneyti (I tagged the blog for the story here, too, don’t mind me pls) Also kind of an AU, basically just Asgard. Anyway, I am so in love with the aesthetic this story gives me. It’s hard to explain, but after 85 chapters I just have this very clear picture in my head of what I think this story looks like. Now, Reader here is also good and well-written, the Original Characters are likeable and not super overpowered, neither is Reader. The canon characters are, in my humble opinion, interpreted nicely and tbh for some reason I just always imagine them in this comic style, rather than the way the films portray them.

Of Different Emotions by @wanderingworldwarrior. my. goodness. I am in love with these stories and I am just. so desperate for an update. idk if we will ever get one, but honestly, I re-read it this week and. Just stopped after the second part, cause I can’t deal with the pain of the third part one more time. First part is set pre-Thor 1, second part is set during Thor 1 and the third during The Avengers. I love the Reader character a lot and the Original Characters just. belong so much to the story. idk I just love the way this story is written, I love the characters, I just love it a lot, alright.

Onwards to anime. Bungou Stray Dogs:

where your loyalties lie by writingfromtheshadows. this!! story!! it’s so good!! it’s a Yakuza!AU and oh my gooood. It’s all just so so well put, compared to canon and I love the dynamics Dazai and Chuuya have here.

Forgettable Significance by Witheryvine. THIS STORY. took my sanity, threw it out of the window and then spat on me. It broke my heart so very often, cause it manages to make you question yourself. morals about relationships out of the window. I re-read this story like five times.

still still still by toriosaurus. I was waiting, desperately, for every single chapter. This AU gives me everything I need and more. I remember doing fanart for this story and being very proud of it, even though it did no justice to the original story. Normally I am not a fan of, idk what to call it, no power AUs because most people just do the thing wrong for me. But this one hits.

If I recommend Twist and Shout now I get thrown into Turbohell, so idk if you want a very sinful Destiel fanfic, then read

Hot Water by Chiyume. I was 16, I decided to read Destiel fanfictions and this one kind of did it for me.

Don’t @ me. I really read a lot more than this, but I suck at organising myself and I just barely ever save shit. Also it’s late, I’ve been on a video call with my friend for over three hours now and I just like to clown when I am tired. Anyway, I used to bookmark Destiel fanfics back in the day and the rest is just. Read it, kudos, comment, and then I forget to save. The multichapter fics are often still in my subscribes, but sometimes. just.. not.

[misstinfoilhat]

Whumptober 2019 #5: Dragged Away - Bungou Stray Dogs

Chuuya closed his tear-filled eyes and hid behind two chubby, small hands, wiping vigorously at the shameful wetness that spilled down his cheeks. Kouyou lead him calmly yet firmly away from the garden where just moments before, he had briefly socialized with the first kid he'd met since being taken into this strange house (with all of these even stranger rules).

He couldn't understand what they'd done wrong; he was just trying to be nice. He thought that was what you were supposed to do when you met other kids that seemed a little on the outside. Kids that were different. The school he went to before (before the lab and before abilities and before being alone), always told him to include everyone. But, clearly not. Not here. Because here, everything was backward and upside down- so stupid. No one was friendly, no one wanted to play or talk and no one ever seemed happy. Everyone was just cranky all the time and telling him what to do. Or, what not to do. People didn't use to tell Chuuya what to do. People were supposed to be afraid of him. All the other kids he'd met since he got his powers were.

This kid, however, Dazai was his name, was not. He wasn't frightened at all. Actually, he claimed that Chuuya’s powers wouldn't work on him. Hah, they'd see about that! ...if-if they ever got to meet again. It looked like Dazai wasn't supposed to go outside. That eery doctor who would treat them when they got hurt during training sessions had come and taken him. He was mad. Chuuya supposed Dazai seemed to be a bit too injured to be out to play. Half his face was bandaged and his arm was in a sling, and he was walking with a crutch as well. Actually, Chuuya hadn't been able to find an inch of skin that wasn't covered in band-aids or bandages. Chuuya had asked what happened to him, but Dazai only made jokes or tried to create other diversions. Chuuya wondered if it was Dr. Mori who'd done it but didn't dare to aks. And then, Dr. Mori came outside and he finally knew.

It was the first time Chuuya had ever seen him angry. He would usually smile and laugh, and sometimes give him candy if he did good and didn't cry when he got treated. Still, there was always something ominous about him. He always seemed dead tired, or like, his smile never truly reached all the way to the creases of his mouth.

And when he found them he'd grabbed Dazai by the hair and dragged him away. The crutch was still lying scattered in the dirt. There was a long trail from Dazai's broken leg being hauled through the mud and wet grass, and a couple of scratch marks in the spots where the young boy had been able to tear himself away from the violent grasp and tried to crawl to safety.

To Chuuya. And Chuuya had been too scared to help. -            -            -            -            -            -            -            -            -            -         Once inside, Kouyou finally turned towards the disdraught redhead. She layed two manicured hands vigorously on his shoulders and leaned down to address him on his level.

“It's okay. There's no reason to cry,” she said decidedly, but couldn't keep her voice from showing just a sliver of sympathy. “B-but...” Chuuya choked out but was quickly interrupted by the graceious woman.

“No buts. It's not your place to question any of the executives. I need you to remember that.”

The small-statured youngster tried to hold back the drops of salted water that were now pooling freely down his face. He rubbed furiously at his azure eyes. I won't cry I won't cry I won't cry...

“Okay, chibi?” She smiled and cupped his cheek lightly while wiping some escaped tears away with her red-painted thumbs. He whispered something shaky and inaudible, and clutched his shaking body against hers, holding tightly around her narrow shoulders and felt how his heartbeat was beating twice as fast as hers. “I'm sorry sweetheart, I can't understand what you're saying,” she cooed comfortably and patted his back.calmingly. “W-who's wiping Dazai-san's tears away, ane-san?” he sobbed quietly, and burried his face in the pink kimono that always smelled of floral perfume. Smelled nice, smelled safe. Like home, and, maybe even... love. If he was allowed to think that. He wanted to believe that, so best not to ever say it out loud.

And Kouyou said nothing. Chuuya understood that that was answer enough. Because there was no one. Chuuya was all by himself, but Dazai was alone. No one would blow cooling air when he scratched his knees. No one would bring him dry clothes after being caught in the rain. No one would tuck him in and offer reassuring words at the end of a difficult day. At first, Dazai had been curious and awestruck by Chuuya, and Chuuya had felt good. Cool and maybe even important. He'd shown off his powers (well the gravity-one not the other 'cause that one was bad and he wasn't allowed t'was forbidden) and they had played on the swing set. It was really the only thing Dazai was able to play on with the injured leg. Then Dr. Mori dragged him away by the hair and Dazai hadn't done anything. As soon as Mori caught him, he'd just gone limb. Completley blank and unfeeling and he had somehow just shut off. This wasn't the first time something like that had happened. That much was clear even to someone as young and (despite everything and maybe a teeny bit less than other’s his age) naïve as Chuuya. Chuuya didn't know what was happening behind the closed doors of Mori's research room. But he knew he wanted to find out, once he was stronger and could control his powers better. He would rescue Dazai because Dazai was just a kid like him and wasn't supposed to be lonely and broken and afraid.

That evening, as Chuuya comforted himself, lying half asleep, resting his head on Kouyou's lap, he decided what he needed to do.

“Ane-san?” he murmured hoarsely. Small lungs tend to get tired when crying for hours. “Quoi, mon petit chèri?” she answered absentmindedly, and continued reading through her reports.

“I'm going to be an executive one day,” he stated determinedly. “Really?” she mused pleasantly, creaking her heavily painted eyes in a genuine smile. Chuuya nodded, full of spirit.

“Yeah. I'd- I'd make sure that everybody gets tucked in at night,” he explained weakly, before trailing off in pure fatigue. It had been a long day. Kouyou finally put down her notes and stroked his ginger locks carefully. “And why is that, mon ami?” “Because,” Chuuya yawned heavily. “When I didn't have you, I always cried at night,” he explained simply, nuzzling his face into her lap. Kouyou's eyebrows creased worriedly. “...and, I think maybe Dazai-san does that too.” -            -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -           -        

After tucking Chuuya in that night, kissing him on the head and telling him how proud she was of him, Kouyou snuck down and into the infirmary. Mori had gone home for the night, leaving Dazai shackled to the disproportionally large hospital bed. From all the new bandages, she understood that it had been a difficult day for him too.

He was laying soundlessly, motionlessly in the huge bed, likely in a drug-induced sleep. She sat gingerly on his bedside and held her hand on his forehead, feeling soft skin disturbed by rough band-aids and scars. The poor kid hadn't been out of this infirmary since he got here. Not until today at least.

The truth was, that Kouyou had seen the frail raven-haired child limping around in the garden for a couple of minutes before she sent Chuuya outside to play with him. Her trainee would do good to spend some time with kids his own age- and this kid would definitely benefit from it too. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. Now, she sat back with two traumatized children, one psychologically and one (at least- but probably not only) physically. She hated it. Hated this situation, how it made her feel and what it did to these boys. Because in the end, as much as they were trying to make unfeeling killing machines- they were only children. 6 year-olds. As much as they'd been through, nobody could deny the number of their years.

And in the end, there was only so much she could do- and that was for only one of them. At least, until her coworker would let go of this sick obsession he had with this kid. Her eyes almost overfloated when she noticed the child flinch in his sleep as her hand trailed down the side of his face. The tight knot in her stomach grew even firmer and she had to brace herself not to sob. She had seen too much hurt for her own short lifetime. And she would do whatever she possibly could to ease whatever pain she surrounded herself with wherever she was. She carefully tucked him in and kissed his forehead, telling him goodnight and sleep tight before she returned to her suite and started writing a long and thorough request to the mafia boss, on how and why her's and Dr.Mori's students should start a training schedule together as soon as possible. The request would be re-sent and changed several times the next couple of years until finally, the boss accepted it. Dazai was already broken beyond repair. Chuuya had become a headstrong and (admittedly) short-tempered young man, and she couldn't help but wonder how their relationship would've turned out if she'd been successful at this project a few years earlier.

If she had been more insistent and vocal about it, instead of as careful and shy as she was back then. If she had stood up for a defenseless child and stopped him from being dragged away from his only desperate hope for safety. But at least now, both of them could look after him. Even if he would never admit to it out loud, she knew Chuuya would be the first to unleash hell on whoever tried to harm Dazai, and vise Versa. Because no man would be left behind. Not even the ones who were dragged away.

[chouetteffraie]

2, 8, 6 and 13 for Dazatsu! I'm a newcomer to your blog but your Dazatsu stuff SENDS ME...

Ah, well, welcome to the blog! I hope you enjoy your stay

OTP asks (still open!)

2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?

Atsushi would probably say something like, “I think Dazai-san is so smart and surprisingly kind, and I think he tries really hard to be a good person even though I already think he’s one of the best.”

Dazai might say, “Atsushi, my adorable, precious little kitten, my snuggly bear, my love, the light of my life-” and continue until people start throwing things at him to stop.

In private, if Atsushi needs positive reassurance, he’d say in a really hushed voice, “Atsushi, you are the best man I’ve ever met and I’m so proud of everything you’ve done and everything you are…and that somehow I’m enough for you.”

These are run on sentences but since they’re spoken I figured I could cheat~

6.What is/are their love language(s)?

Atsushi…is probably quality time or words of affirmation? This is kinda difficult! He isn’t one for the nicer things in life, and he’d much prefer a nice date with Dazai at home then something fancy. Snuggling on the couch or early in the morning while it’s raining and they can just hold each other and talk- that’s his ideal time with Dazai. But he also likes telling him nice things, like, “I’m always so impressed with you” (their duality card literally says that on the home screen box!) or “You’re doing so well at work!’ or “Thank you for taking care of me.” Just little things so Dazai knows he’s appreciated.

Dazai is probably acts of service. He’ll do little things behind the scenes, especially if their things he can write off as not having actually done them to keep his careless facade. Atsushi’s having a hard day? Isn’t it Dazai’s turn to cook dinner? Has it been a while since they’ve had alone time? Maybe Atsushi would appreciate a cleaner house to come home to… He’s also big on physical touch, though the more serious stuff is in private. In public he’ll gladly hold Atsushi’s hand or hug him, but at home there’s plenty of just….holding him close and kissing him all over his face or just….touching, He likes the reassurance that he’s real.

8.What were their first impressions of each other?

Atsushi was a little preoccupied when they two of them met, but he could tell that he was very handsome and charismatic within a few minutes of meeting him, even if he was a bit annoying. He probably didn’t even start wondering about his personal life until they waited in the warehouse for the tiger, and even then it was more of a, “Hm, surely somebody like him has a girlfriend…I wonder what she’s like. She’s gotta have the patience of a saint.” It isn’t until he starts working with him and getting to know him does he start to develop a little crush.

Dazai probably thought Atsushi was cute, dumb, and pitiful when he first met Atsushi (asdlkfd he needs to calm down he’s so mean!) We have to remember, Atsushi had gone like a week without bathing, eating, drinking enough water, sleeping enough…he was looking rough, and Dazai could tell. However, he could also see the Atsushi he eventually came to love that first day since he’s very perceptive- not everyone would jump in the river to save a drowning man when they’re on death’s door themselves. If anything, he was curious, but pleasantly surprised that the only impression he was right about was that he was cute. 

13. Name something they would never do for the other person. (angst :discord pensive emoji:)

ah, this one’s really hard! hm…

Atsushi would never follow Dazai’s plan if he knew (or thought he knew) that it meant innocent people would die that he could save. Atsushi values life too greatly and doesn’t value his enough. It doesn’t matter if Dazai insists he stays because if he doesn’t he could die and he’s too important to the mission, to him, Atsushi would never be able to forgive himself if he just stood by, knowing people were dying. He’d probably sneak away, too, meaning if this really was a lethal mission, Dazai wouldn’t know he was there until it was too late. (In retrospect, he’d curse himself, figuring he should’ve known and planned for it and he never should’ve trust Atsushi with that information or his heart.)

Dazai would never completely quit his manipulative tactics no matter how much Atsushi begged. The idea of losing control is just too scary. There’s too many people after him, too many things he cares about that he could lose. He has to keep Akutagawa and Chuuya under his thumb, he has to send people into missions as a cover for himself, he has to, he has to. Atsushi barely escapes them himself, but Dazai withholds himself from manipulating Atsushi because he’s worried eventually he’ll manipulate him into staying with him instead of actually being loved. Everybody else can’t escape. If Atsushi asks desperately enough, he’ll lie and say he’ll ease up on it, only to do it behind Atsushi’s back.

[bs-dogs]

Reason Living

Summary

Nakahara Chuuya. Bold. Confident. Dramatic, with just the right amount of flare.

Behind the mask, there’s little Chuuya can do to keep the tremors, the lassitude—  the void that threatens to consume his entire being—  at bay.

And then suddenly he’s switching bodies and falling for a stranger who has dead eyes, a familiar face and a name that tastes like hope and regret on his tongue. There’s a shift in Chuuya’s chest that feels like it should’ve been there all this time, and breathing comes easily to him now.

So what do you think would happen if Chuuya stopped switching bodies? Find out why, of course!

(or the Kimi no Na Wa AU nobody asked for, but here it is. Complete with idiots!Skk pining for each other, fluff, angst, time travel and 2 people trying to find their place in this world.)

CH 1

As Melos lay with arms and legs flung out on the ground, sleep began to overcome him. But then, suddenly, a murmuring sound reached his ears. Raising his head slightly, he held his breath and listened. The sound came to somewhere nearby. Rising falteringly to his—

A knock on the door interrupts Chuuya’s stream of thought, cutting off the vivid imagery that was building up inside his mind. He jumps slightly at the sound, not even noticing how his hand is tired after gripping the pen too tightly, and that the playlist he had the mind to play before working has already stopped. Now, he sits disgruntled on his swivel chair, alone and surrounded by silence with a short manuscript in front of him.

Whiplash. That’s the word to describe what he’s feeling right now. There’s a sense of nausea after being pulled back with enough force to startle him, and then there’s the familiar feeling of apprehension that quickly reestablishes itself into the groves of his weary body.

He takes a few deep breaths, trying to anchor his mind back to the real world. Reaching out, he grabs the small Sheep plushy besides his pen holder, grounding himself with the texture. It works, and he sets it down before looking out of the window. It’s dark out, something that doesn’t really shock him since he has the tendency to forget the passage of time whenever he’s focused on something.

Shooting a glance at the clock to his right, the hands point to ‘7:48’. He isn’t given the chance to think about who might be visiting him, of all people, this late into the evening for another knock makes itself known this time with a little bit more force behind it.

“Yes, wait up,” Chuuya says, voice lighter than he feels, and stands tiredly after pushing himself away from his desk. His feet gently pad across the room to reach his front door, not even bothering to look through the peephole to check who it is. Pausing before opening the door, Chuuya takes a couple of breaths to mentally ready and compose himself before opening the door. 

‘It’s showtime.’

With his best smile in place, Chuuya greets the visitor, a close friend of his— really, his only friend at this point. 

Opening the door wider, it takes a moment for Chuuya to get over his initial shock, “Poe! What brings you here?” He asks and gestures for the shy man to enter. The man ducks slightly under the doorframe, his impossibly tall build making it difficult for him to enter— his hand protecting the raccoon on his shoulder, Karl, from knocking into the frame. Being a smaller person than the foreigner, Chuuya can’t help but be a tad jealous of the man’s height. It’s an ugly feeling which he tries his best to dismiss.

“Oh, I just thought to check on you and stuff…” His voice is almost a whisper, trailing off at the end as if unsure. 

They sit down on Chuuya’s couch, one of the few things of luxury in his apartment, and let a moment pass in silent as Karl titters downward and on his guest’s lap. Once Poe has situated the two of them comfortably, the man takes note of the singular light source and the disheveled desk before opening his mouth, “Did you get too engrossed in your work again that you forgot, Chuuya?” He asks in his soft voice, aware of how much of a workaholic Chuuya is.

All the man in question can do is laugh awkwardly, swiftly flicking the lights on, “Well, you know me…” Chuuya is a little bit blinded by the sudden brightness and laughs lightly to try and mask it, “Would you like some tea? Coffee?” He offers, already halfway to his small kitchen when Poe politely refuses, “No, I’m good. I already ate something.”

“Oh, okay then.” He sits down again, his brain scrambling to think about why Poe would visit him so late.

‘He already passed me his draft, and we had lunch the other day so…’

As if hearing his thoughts, Poe heaves a sigh and chuckles, “We were supposed to meet by the café, remember?” The brunet chuckles, “I invited you…”

Then it suddenly clicks for Chuuya and his chest tightens, “Oh!” He exclaims “The date with the cute guy! I’m so sorry I forgot.” He looks down, voice taking an apologetic tone, “I swear I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine. It looks like you have a lot of work to do, so I understand.” Poe kindly says, pausing his petting of Karl to pat Chuuya’s shoulder in reassurance before retreating to Karl’s fur once more. The smaller man smiles at his effort, appreciative especially since he knows of the author’s shyness and aversion to physical contact, “So, how’d it go?”

Poe’s face reddens at an alarming rate, sputtering as Chuuya leans forward and teasingly grins at him, “It was, uh, nice. We just talked and ate and…”

“And?”

It doesn’t take long before he caves in, “We agreed to meet again next week,” He pauses, biting his lips, but it’s obvious to Chuuya that he’s happy with the way the corners of his lips lift up, “Ah… And he… I think he flirted with me?”

“Hot damn, our precious boy bags himself a second date!” Chuuya laughs. At the sudden loud sound, Karl skittishly stands up in alertness before trying to sleep again. The next time Chuuya talks, it’s comparably quieter, “It’s a good thing I didn’t third-wheel, eh?”

“You wouldn’t be bothering us though, he likes debates.” 

“Are you saying I like to argue?” Chuuya can’t help but tease, drawing in his eyebrows and pretending to frown. Poe doesn’t buy it though, choosing to simply smile at him, “Chuuya! I could never!”

They both share a laugh, a nice ambience settling around them. Talking to Poe really calms him down. It really is nice to have a friend or two, Chuuya supposes. He grew up as a very quiet child, rarely letting anyone in— his cold and closed off demeanor only intensifying after that incident a few years back. Over time, he did shake off the hard exterior and began to try the whole “friendship” thing again. Chuuya ponders that it paid off quite well, if his nice chat with Poe is anything to go by.

They met each other almost a year ago, when the man was looking for a new editor for his novel after his previous one, Lovecraft, suddenly disappeared from the face of the Earth. Luckily for him, Chuuya saw his online ad and the rest is history. The writer is quite skilled, his works mostly science fiction and mystery, and Chuuya admires his passion for literature and writing.

“It’s one of his works, isn’t it?” Poe’s voice cuts through the comfortable silence between them, eyes resting on the manuscript on Chuuya’s desk, “The one you’re working on right now?”

Speaking of skilled authors…

“Yeah,” He starts, “The style, the aura, the feel…” Chuuya struggles to find the correct word to explain how he just knows that it’s his work— the mysterious author Chuuya’s been handling for all of 4 months now. He uses different pseudonyms, affirmed by his boss when he once thought to ask, but the distinctive tone and presence of his writing stays the same. Something about the way the author uses word and symbolism is striking, almost alluring, and the literature-geek inside him just melts every time Mori hands him another manuscript.

It doesn’t help that he doesn’t even really need to proofread anything; the grammar is absolutely impeccable, so he spends his time just absorbing the story, Chuuya doesn’t understand why his boss still sends them to him if everything is flawless already, but he’s not really one to complain.

“Well, what name is he using right now? What’s the manuscript about?” His guest’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. 

“Kuroki Shunpei. It’s a retelling of one of Schiller’s, about friendship and trials.” He starts, “It’s amazingly short, the shortest I’ve ever handled of our mystery person— but I’m sure it’s him.” There’s conviction in his tone, certainty clear in his eyes. Maybe it’s only a gut feeling, but Chuuya’s instinct and intuition have never failed him before.

Poe hums, “That’s new. Isn’t he more of a darkly personal introspection kind of person? Maybe it was, um, written experimentally?”

“Maybe,” Chuuya considers this, “But I haven’t really finished reading yet. I was actually hoping on doing everything today since it’s not as long.”

“So that’s why you were so invested, you were pining away at your mystery guy.” Poe says, tone flat and eyes twinkling. Chuuya thinks he sees smugness in there somewhere.

“Pining? I was just reading, you moron.” To which Poe replies, “Oh, I know you. If anyone had to court you, they’d make sure to send you disgustingly purple prose because of your disease.”

“Say that one more time, I dare you.” Chuuya says, trying to exact the respect he deserved because he is the host here, damn it!

Poe just languidly stares at him, “Chuu-nii, think about it. Maybe he’s your, uh, soulmate or something? Why would Mori even give you the manuscripts if they’re already perfect as is? Maybe there’s a hidden message or a code…”

“First of all, you are older than me, and I don’t have some stupid high schooler disease. Second, there are no hidden messages. And what if he’s an old guy?” Chuuya almost shrieks at Poe, words starting to jumble together the faster he speaks, “And, you know, you’re a mystery writer, not a romance writer for fuck’s sake!”

“So, you checked for secret messages, huh?” Poe raises an eyebrow questioningly, his amusement radiating off him in waves. Chuuya ratters on, sharp sounds and indignant noises as he tries to save himself from the slip-up, “That’s not it at all! I was just— How— What?” His brain short circuits, regretting all of his past choices that’s led to this bout of teasing.

Karl skitters off of Poe’s lap and onto the floor before being scooped back up again, this time being settled against Poe’s chest, “Relax,” He says, lips twisting up, “I was joking anyway. But I do hope we find out who it is.” 

‘We’, Chuuya thinks. It’s the first time someone he’s only known for so long used that word in conjunction with him, and it’s a nice feeling— like someone is on your side for once. He warms at the thought and inwardly promises to himself to make it up to the man.

“Yeah, I do too.” 

-

He closes the door behind him, slowly making his way to the kitchen and grabbing himself a glass of water. The cool liquid is a welcome feeling as it slides down his parched throat, drinking greedily after talking for a long while. He glances at the clock again, idly wondering how he survived interacting with a human for 2 hours straight. Chuuya sets the now empty glass on the counter with a loud clunk, the harsh sound cutting through the heavy air like a butter knife, and contemplates whether he’s hungry enough to want to eat. It takes him a few minutes before ultimately deciding that no, he’d rather sleep because talking really does take a lot more energy out of him than most people. Besides, it’s not really the first time he’s skipping so he’s quite sure that his stomach wouldn’t protest that much after all this time. 

Sighing, he closes the lights and feels the tension from his shoulder lift slightly. The cover the shadows provide him is a much needed comfort— Chuuya’s always preferred the dark over brightly lit rooms. There’s something about people not seeing him and feeling invisible enough to let the cracks through that makes him feel more human than when he stands under the spotlight. Or maybe because it’s the familiarity of having your environment match how you feel that puts his mind at ease? Whatever it is, all Chuuya knows is that he feels safer now.

It doesn’t take long for his eyes to acclimate to the dark; his body already accustomed to the way his apartment is laid out to the point where he could live comfortably even with his eyes closed. He doesn’t trip over wires or stray papers or the books haphazardly strewn about, doesn’t bump into the corners of his desk and bookcase as he goes into his room. Chuuya hasn’t cleaned in a while because of work, but even then he still knows where everything should be in the organized chaos.

He doesn’t change clothes since he didn’t really go out earlier today, and barely goes through his nighttime skincare routine. Chuuya doesn’t really see the point of taking care of himself if no one is going to see him on a daily basis anyway, but he was brought up to at least maintain his cleanliness and appearance.

His adoptive mother— Kouyou, or Ane-san as he likes to call her— beat the need to look presentable into him the moment he stepped foot in her teahouse. And even after years of moving out, he still can’t shake the need to stay clean and hygienic as much as possible. He supposes that he should thank her for that, since he would be akin to a hobo by now if she didn’t raise him to be so prim and proper.

He pats his face dry and looks at himself in the mirror. His eyes trail after the dark bags and tired expression and thinks he looks miserable. He does feel miserable, so he gives himself that, and proceeds to brush his hair. The split ends are troublesome, but he makes it through with only a few red strands sticking to the brush before his arm tires and the giant need to just lay down and rest consumes him. Sluggishly, he drags himself to bed and just stares at the ceiling.

Despite the fatigue that uncomfortably settles in his body, he can’t sleep— and Chuuya’s just so tired of everything but of course he can’t sleep. He thinks about what’s wrong, as if he can list down all the things that’s wrong with him before the sun rises up in a few hours, before he finally gets up and turns the fan on. The sound of the machine whirring does little to calm him down, but it’s better than wallowing in silence. He never could sleep in the quiet, the static blaring in his ears somehow louder than the occasional loud shouts coming from the unit next to him, so he does his best to get comfortable. Chuuya readies himself for another night of terrors, already anticipating the way smoke clogs up his nose and the way heat tickles his skin.

He hopes the empty feeling that continues to persist inside is gone the next day before he surrenders himself to unconsciousness.

-

The next time he meets Poe again, it’s in their favourite café. It’s two days after they last saw each other, but Chuuya can’t really remember what happened yesterday. Maybe he got drunk. Remembering how tired he felt the other day, he wouldn’t put it past himself to try and drown himself with wine. The fact that he woke up with an unsettling feeling in his stomach just cements his theory. Must be a weird hangover.

Poe is waiting for him at their corner, a milkshake already in front of him, “Chuuya! Are you really sure you’re okay enough to go out? We could always reschedule.” The concern is palpable in the man’s tone, his soft voice hurried and fretful. 

Chuuya thinks it’s because Poe caught him blacked-out drunk.

“I’m fine,” he says, “And I wanted to make it up to you anyway.”

“For what?” Poe asks, hands stilling from scratching behind Karl’s ears, his head tilting slightly in question.

After sneaking a glance at the counter and noting that the line is, in fact, longer than usual, he answers, “For ditching you the other day?” Maybe Chuuya should wait until the queue is shorter? 

“But you already did?”

This makes Chuuya halt, confusion tearing its way through his mouth, “What?”. The question slips from his tongue, his mind automatically forcing himself to Think, damn it! What did you do yesterday?

Poe stares at him, trying to find a hint of whatever it is he’s looking for before carefully responding, “You did— yesterday, remember?” He says, “You suddenly called me and we ate in your apartment and talked about your mystery author.”

It takes a few minutes for Chuuya to recover from his brain short-circuiting. Distantly, he notices how his breath is getting a little bit labored and shallow and how he’s shaking. He doesn’t feel like himself right now— doesn’t feel like it’s his body and feels more like an outsider privy to his thoughts.

“Oh… Maybe I got too drunk to remember.” He tries to laugh it off, sounding like he’s convincing himself rather than Poe, “I don’t really remember much. Did I do anything stupid?”

The man takes another sip from his milkshake, already halfway through and it reminds Chuuya that he still needs to order, “You did say a lot of, uh, dark things…”

Warning bells sound through his mind.

“Like, you know— Chuuya, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here. I know how it feels like and I care about you, okay?” Poe continues to worry, eyes strong and vulnerable. His hands fidget, like he wants to reach out and touch Chuuya and reassure that he’s okay, “I’m not trying to pressure you into anything…”

Chuuya now knows it’s not because Poe caught him blacked-out drunk.

Thoughts of hot chocolates and banana bread fly out of his mind. Faintly, he feels the back of his eyes warm and thinks that there’s a slight possibility that he might cry. He takes a deep breath in, counts from ten just like his therapist told him and tries to relax. It’s hard— harder than usual, like he’s sinking deeper and deeper into the ground and right now he feels like he doesn’t want to breathe anymore.

He tries anyway.

“Thank you,” He finally murmurs, “ I— Fuck…” The words are like broken glass, slicing at his lips the moment they try to break free from his mouths and it stings, “I’m not…”

Chuuya came here today with a slight bounce in his steps because he missed feeling okay when talking with Poe, so he surely didn’t expect to be talking about this. It’s like a slap to the face— like a cold bucket of water being dumped on him because he sure as hell wasn’t ready for his only friend to learn about this.

It’s like a breach of privacy. He was trying so hard to seem fine and okay— he should be fine and okay, damn it— so the fact that Poe thinks he’s not is throwing Chuuya off right now. In retrospect, it was a bit outlandish to think he could take this dirty, dark little secret with him to grave. Soon, preferably. But now the cat’s out of the bag, and he really wishes he didn’t wake up today.

How funny and coincidental is it that someone probably borrowed his body for a day and they’re just as, if not more so, miserable as Chuuya? Because if it were Chuuya, he’d keep up the façade as the workaholic, the outgoing and headstrong and stubborn person until the day he finally died. But he wasn’t Chuuya. He wasn’t Chuuya yesterday, and he slipped and now the first friend he’s had the pleasure to have in years knows how ugly and pitiful he is. 

Something warm presses against his shoulder and he looks and sees Poe looking at him with his arm outstretched. There’s no pity, no disgust, just resolve and worry and a promise. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s okay.”

Oh fuck, Poe is going to realize that meeting Chuuya was a mistake sooner or later. He’s going to finally figure out that Chuuya isn’t really who Poe thinks he is and that he’s a fake. Oh fu—

“It’s okay to not be fine.”

Chuuya tries to remember if anyone ever told him that. He’s not sure.

-

The man— Poe, his name is Poe— stares at him worriedly. It finally occurs to him, in order, that:

a.) He probably shouldn’t have said that.

b.) He’s not himself right now.

“Chuuya, are you okay?”

c.) He definitely shouldn’t have said that.

He laughs it off, waving his hands. The lower-pitched tone scratches against his voice box and he feels like a stranger and an intruder and that he shouldn’t be here. He feels like this is a fever dream, like something from a movie or a novel. He thinks, ‘If this is a fever dream then why couldn’t I have just dreamed about Odasaku?’ and promptly shuts that thought down because does he really want to wake up crying and shaking inconsolably again?

He smiles, “I’m fine.”

Hi everyone! I’m vvv late but here’s my work  for the bigbang! I’ll be queueing my work over the next few hours. Thanks for reading and see y’all in the next one!

Links will be provided at the last post, thanks!

[mahkaria]

Of novelists and strays dogs - Chapter one

The angel at the top of the bridge :

In Yokohama’s dark streets walked a man. None of his physical traits particularly caught attention. Curly chocolate hair and a symmetrical face. Some could have called him handsome if not for the almost sadistic grin he carried.

No one could have guessed this young was actually one of the most feared executive of the Port Mafia coming back from a mission.

His day had been exhausting and as it was often the case after this kind of day, a thick oppressive mist had invaded his mind. Without thinking, his steps led him to a bridge.

Under the moonlight, the streaming water had the appearance of melted silver. It shifted and slidded as if under the influence of a snake charmer.

“How beautiful.” He whispered, mesmerised by this spectacle.

Without thinking anymore, he let his feets leave the ground. The last thing he saw before hitting the liquid were two golden eyes.

Nakajima Atsushi had been spending a perfectly nice evening. After finishing his work for today, he had decided to go out in order to refresh his mind and seek inspiration for the next day.

It would be days before the moon show the entirety of its pale beauty. No reason to worry about any furry problems…

A few months before, he could have barely imagined life could be so pleasant. No physical or verbal abuse and the possibility to do what he liked most.

As he strolled in the streets, he often wondered if he truly deserved what had happened to him. Sometimes, during the night, he barely managed to keep the cruel voice out.

Those nights, Kunikida-senpai always answered his phone and talked to him until sleep claimed him.

He sighed softly and focused once again on what was around him.

Students were coming back from the university and employees were going out from bars. They emitted happiness like the sun emits light. Sometimes, Atsushi liked imagining how their life went.

However, this time, he needed a calm place in order to progress on his work. He still remembered the bridge, the first place of Yokohama he had seen. That’s where he decided to go.

His apartment wasn’t so far from his goal and a few minutes were sufficient to reach it.

He sat on the border, took out his notebook and started writing.

Or at least he tried.

Footsteps caught his attention. He lifted his head.

A man stood there, a bit older than Atsushi himself.

He then proceeded to jump into the river…

Wait what?

Atsushi stood up like a spring as a splashing sound made itself heard.

What’s just happened?

Then :

This man needs help.

He jumped. 

Water cradled him like a loving mother. He felt himself drown slowly.

Goodbye, oxygen, you’ll no longer burn my lungs.

Gravity pushed him toward the river’s bed which would soon also be his if things went his way. How ironic for gravity to be one of the cause of his death. Chuuya would be proud.

I don’t want to think about the hatrack during my lovely suicide, Dazai decided quickly.

Breathing became more difficult. His body froze and burnt at the same time.

It would soon be over.

Soon.

Soon.

Until it no longer was.

Slim yet strong arms caught him and took him away from Death’s soft lips, carrying him back to the riverbank and life.

A kid ? was his first thought.

Then : Damn, I was so close this time.

He allowed himself to fall asleep.

Atsushi didn’t know anything about medicine and first aid techniques, yet he could say with almost total certainty that the man was alive. His chest rose slowly as if he was only taking a nap. In his relief, he barely cared about all the bandages which covered the man.

What am I supposed to do ? Maybe I should call Kunikida-senpai ? He might know what to do…

Just as those thoughts formed, the man (teenager? Did teenagers wear obviously very expensive suits?) opened his eyes. He blinked slowly and rose.

“Are you alright, sir?”

“I am… still alive? Why?”

“What- What do you mean “why”?”

Cinnamon coloured eyes turned their attention to him.

“Are you the one who saved me boy?”

Atsushi’s whole body hurt. Holding someone bigger than him had stolen a good part of his stamina. His clothes stuck to him in quite an unpleasant manner. He nodded softly.

“Aren’t you quite a little annoying stray?”

His tone was soft and calm but Atsushi felt ice bite his skin. This man, he…

Just as frost appeared, it melted away. Instead of the cold cruelty his eyes had carried, they now held a genuine curiosity.

“What were you doing here ? Were you also trying to commit suicide?”

“What, no ! Wait - suicide?”

“Quite eloquent, I see… Anyway, boy, shouldn’t you be home at this hour? Something unpleasant could happen to you.”

He barely bit back his comment “Are you going to hurt me?” and didn’t say anything. Shivers ran through his body. If he hadn’t been afraid of the consequences, he would have run away. For a moment, they both stared at each other like two statues.

After a while, the man smiled.

“It was quite rude of myself, wasn’t it? Insulting you after you bothered rescuing me. Can I pay you back in any way?”

Being polite had always been an obligation to Atsushi. A consequence of his often timid nature and of the orphanage.

The other part of himself still yelled at him to escape. All his predatory instincts deserting in front of someone who hadn’t even reached adulthood.

“There is no need, sir.”

A bright grin settled on the other’s face. Like a cat who just caught a bird, Atsushi couldn’t help but think.

“Are you sure?”

As he was about to agree, his stomach betrayed him and growled. They both were silent.

“May I buy something to eat?”

“You don’t need to.”

“Don’t be like that, boy, I’m going to think you’re scared of me. You’re not, aren’t you?” He smirked.

Now, he looked at him like a scientist curious to see how his experiment would turn out. In front of his hesitation, his smile (if it was possible) grew wider.

“Of course not, sir, I just need to go get my bag at the top of the bridge.”

“I’ll wait. Don’t run away, okay?”

“O-of course !”

The kid was funny, Dazai decided. A jumpy little thing who tried to appear brave. He liked it. A good person who didn’t want to hurt anyone, be it physically or emotionally.

This kind of person was rare to come upon, even in the world of light. He hadn’t exactly planned to torture him (the word was a tad too strong to describe his behaviour) but come on - he had failed his suicide and had nothing else to do to purge his mind of everything.

What should he have done ?

Behave ?

Boring ~

He led the kid toward Lupin’s and used this time to watch him. Silver - almost white - hair which fell on his shoulders and golden eyes. Puberty still hadn’t hit him. How young was he exactly? Dazai had never been good at determining someone’s age. He only dubbed people in two categories “useful” and “useless”.

He still wasn’t sure in which category he was going to put the kid.

Shivers and sneezes shook Atsushi. That’s not how he had expected to spend his evening. Following a stranger in an area of the city he had never explored wasn’t exactly a part of his plan.

“Excuse me, s-sir -”

“Name is Dazai.”

“Dazai-san, where are we going ?”

“Somewhere I like spending times to. Don’t worry I’m not going to kidnap you.”

Saying it aloud wasn’t really reassuring but it was too late to go back. He had the intuition running away from Dazai wouldn’t be possible as long as the teen focused on him.

They arrived to a dark alley and went into it. Things didn’t seem to improve.

In front of him, a sign where Lupin’s was written. It had been washed away  by time and rain and thus had adopted a upsetting yellowish colour.

“Let’s go inside, then !” Dazai announced cheerfully.

They started walking downstairs. Muffled voices could be heard but some in particular seemed to increase Dazai’s already excited mood.

“So they are here tonight ! This night is getting more and more interesting.”

They arrived to a poorly lit room where few people were chatting. However, only those at the counter seemed to interest the strange man he had just met. Next to them stood a calico cat, busy cleaning itself.  

“Odasaku ! Ango ! I brought us a new drinking buddy.”

This is not going to happen, Atsushi quickly decided. Maybe if he slipped away now that Dazai no longer looked at him… However, the cat didn’t want to stop playing with his prey. A bandaged arm encircled his shoulders and brought him in front of the two men.

The first one, a severe almost austere man with round glasses stared at him.

“Dazai-kun, he is a child. He can’t drink alcohol.”

“Nonsense ! I had already started drinking at his age !”

This time a mischievous smile had settled. He didn’t really believe what he was saying, he only wanted to provoc the other. A new mask had appeared. Atsushi wondered how many of those he had.

Ravenous, mirthful and playful. How many facets did his personality have?

Maybe thinking about it would only end up in an headache. Some people were like water, no matter how long you spent you’d never be able to totally get them.

As lost as he was in his thoughts, he took quite a while to really see the other man. Wine coloured hair and an almost aloof expression.

“Good evening, sir.” He stuttered.

“Call me, Odasaku.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Atsushi bowed.

“Not fair, Odasaku has already activated his overprotective mother hen mode.” Dazai winced.

“What’s your name?” Oda continued, obviously used to Dazai’s antics.

“So that’s what I forgot to ask him !”

“You brought him here without asking his name, Dazai-kun !”

“Ango is scary when he wants to be. ~”

“I’m Nakajima Atsushi.”

Odasaku smiled softly. His blue eyes shone gently.

“Do you want to eat something? This bar doesn’t have a wide variety of food, maybe we should go to a restaurant... “

He often forgot to eat, still not quite used to have access to food. The fact his deadline was approaching didn’t help.

“Odasaku ! Don’t steal him away, I’m the one who said I’d buy him something to eat.”

He had for Dazai the kind of strong affection and tolerance a  person would have for a younger sibling.

“Nakajima-kun, won’t your parents worry if you don’t get home soon?”

He didn’t know how much he should tell them but in reaction to Oda’s encouraging expression he found himself saying :

“There are no risks. I don’t have parents.”

Moment of silence.

“Well, Odasaku sure is going to adopt him now.”

“Are you living with relatives, then?”

“No, I- I have no idea who my family is. I’m living in a small apartment.”

“Really, how are you paying for it?”

His answers  had revived Dazai’s curiosity or maybe it had just been put on hold for a moment.

“I have a job.”

“Aren’t you a bit too young?”

“I-”

“No, don’t say anything, I’m sure I can guess what you do, Atsushi-kun.”

Why had such a joyful person tried to take his own life?

Don’t be an idiot. Do you really think depressed people wear a distinctive sign?

Depressed? Could he be ?

“You probably can.” Oda agreed. Then to Atsushi : “You should sit, no point in staying up.”

“I definitely can’t fail if Odasaku has faith in me. Well then, let’s get started, you’re quite a scrawny kid so probably not a physical job. Not a governmental job, no matter how hypocritical they are, they wouldn’t appoint someone underage. So, something linked to entertainment, isn’t it ?”

“You’re right.”

Him, being smart was hardly surprising. Someone who had played him as if he was a mere musical instrument couldn’t be totally stupid.

“It’s legal, I presume ?”

“Dazai-kun…” Ango warned him.

The fact he even had to ask told him more than he wanted to know about Dazai’s line of work.

“Can you sing, Atsushi-kun?”

“I’m a writer, or at least that’s the closest word to describe what I do.”

He wrote books, they seemed to be successful but he didn’t know why, so yes, it was a pretty good way to describe it.

“Really?”

This time, it was Odasaku, not Dazai who had spoken.

“Do you like reading, Oda-san?”

“Yes, I’d also like to write if I can, one day.”

“I’m sorry if it comes out as rude, but, why don’t you do it now?”

“I don’t deserve to write about life, not for the moment.”

“Writing isn’t about deserving something. I would never have been able to if it had been the case.”

A new staring contest was his answer. Maybe, he should have kept quiet.

“I’m sorry, I should take my leave.”

He stood up but as he was going to walk away, his feet came into contact with soft fur.

The ground met his face far too quickly for him to react.

Hurg.

Could this situation even worsen?

“Are you alright, Nakajima?”

“Yes, Ango-san. Thank you.”

“Should we go outside ? A bit of fresh air will help.”

“Please, don’t bother. I’m perfectly fine.”

The cat softly purred against his legs, unaware of the stir he had just caused. Or maybe he just didn’t care.

“Let’s get you something to eat.”

“I’m the one who invited him. Don’t steal him away.” Dazai pouted once again.

“Then, we should go somewhere where you can buy him something.”

“There is a good restaurant two streets away.” Ango said.

As he was busy listening to them, he didn’t notice the cat playing with his bag. Only when what it contained fell loudly on the ground did he realize it.

“Is that Tsukishiro Ren’s novel? Did you take inspiration from his work?” Oda asked.

“O ! Odasaku went into his fanboy mode.”

“His stories are good.” The older explained.

“I read a few of his short stories. It can be a bit hard to read per moment but it’s really interesting.”

Atsushi felt his cheeks burn. Getting praises hadn’t become any easier.

He inhaled deeply but it helped as much as pouring oil on a wildfire. A part of him hoped they hadn’t noticed his reaction. Yet, even after such a short amount of time, he had the strong impression nothing could escape Dazai.

“Interesting.” Dazai merely said.

“What do you mean?”

“It seems you finally got to meet one of your favorite authors, Odasaku.”

Fa- favorite author? I’ve only published two short stories collections !

“You’re Tsukishiro-sensei, Atsushi-kun?”

“Please don’t call me “sensei”.” He blushed.

If Ango still seemed doubtful, it wasn’t Oda’s case. He had merely accepted the fact that a well known author happened to be a twelve years old child.

It must be nearly impossible to shock him, Atsushi concluded.

“If Dazai says he is, it’s probably true.” Oda added.

“Still, he is far too young, how old are you exactly?”

“I’m twelve.”

“That’s what I mean, how could he- Are you some kind of genius?”

“I’m really not.”

He’d always remember. Those lonely days he’d spend, doing nothing but chores and how imagining stories had been the only way to live. To go further away than survival.

How it had helped him to keep his already severely wounded humanity. To remain sane.

You couldn’t spend your days doing one activity and not at least get a little good at it.

Oda-san nodded softly and led them outside.

“So what do you want to eat?”

“Anything is fine.”

“Come on ! You must have a favorite kind of food.” Dazai pushed him, putting back his arm around his shoulders. “Don’t worry about money.”

“I-I wou- wouldn’t mind ochazuke.”

A soft chuckle escaped Dazai.

“Ochazuke it is ! I hope you both don’t mind.”

“Not really.” Ango answered.

“I don’t really care.”

“Let’s go then, it would be a shame if such an interesting kid died of hunger after all.”

Interesting?

Why did this word seem to foreshadow awful things?

Before this moment, Dazai had barely paid attention to Tsukishiro Ren. He had heard about him from the slug and Ane-san but hadn’t cared. Why would a novice novelist interest him? He would probably disappear in a few months as it was often the case. The entertainment world could sometimes be as merciless as the mafia’s.

Yet, he had to admit his surprise. For such a young and bland person to be an emerging celebrity. It definitely deserved a place in the “useful” category.

He looked at him, at Nakajima Atsushi and how he tried to convince Odasaku he didn’t need a fifth bowl of ochazuke. A useless battle really, his slimness had condemned him to be taken care of by the assassin.

Ane-san liked describing his short stories as “bittersweet”, how they captured the darkness of the world without removing hope. Despite her so-called hatred for this feeling, the woman would always have a romantic heart and be sensible to the subject.

The dwarf liked them for how dynamic and epic they could be. He couldn’t hide his enthusiasm when a new story was published.

Maybe he could advantage of it.

“Atsushi-kun, would you mind signing me one of your book?”

“Of course not, Dazai-san.”

Ango sneaked a suspicious glance. He must have guessed what he wanted.

“I only have this exemplar, though, and it isn’t in its best shape.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not a problem !”

The boy took out his fountain pen and quickly wrote in it before giving it to Dazai.

“I hope you’ll like it.”

“I’m sure I will !”

After this, the meal quickly came to an end.

As Atsushi was about to walk home, Oda interrupted him. In his hand stood a paper with number on it.

“If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate, I’ll help you.”

“Thank you, Oda-san.”

“And I’d like to thank you for what you said sooner.”

“It’s nothing. I look forward to the day I’ll be able to read one of your story, Oda-san.”

An almost shy smile bloomed on the man’s face.

“Maybe I’ll send you one of my draft. If they can be given this name.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure of reading it.”

“Have a good night, Nakajima. Please be careful on your way home.”

“I will. Good night.”

Dazai stood on his bed, wide awake. Once again, sleep had deserted him. How pleasant it would be to fall asleep forever. To finally get away from this overwhelming exhaustion…

He closed his eyes but still nothing. How he loved insomnia... Well, better not waste time on this endeavor.

He stared for a moment at the book he had brought back. Why not after all? He was bored and at least, he’d learn more about the kid.

He opened it and started reading

[naoamaya]

I was Tagged!

Tagged by @leio13, thank you!! Sorry it took me so long!

Rules:

Post the rules

Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

Write 11 questions of your own

And tag 11 people

Tagging: @megabexzy, @nightsky7ibra, @iishihara, @yatsuume, @bakkiri, @comicfan44, @shy-megane-otaka, @soutenkyuu, @bakchangg (the tag doesn’t want to work??), @zzeroh and @rigcake

You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to!

Catsby’s 11 Questions:

1. Do you want any pets in the future? What kind?

Omg I’ve wanted to get a really big and fluffy dog for so long, I can’t wait until I move out ‘cause then nothing will stop me from getting one

2. What would you consider one of your hobbies?

I actually have quite a few hobbies, but I guess one of my favs right now is cosplaying :)

3. What kind of music do you listen to?

Mainly kpop and vocaloid and whatever’s on the radio

4. How do you feel about milk?

I like milk! Hot or cold, flavoured or non-flavoured, I like it all!

5. If you could go to any country that you’ve never been to, which one would you go to?

Japan! (agree with you on this one)

6. Do you like the ocean?

I’m not keen on swiming in the ocean, but going around on a boat sounds nice. And it’s a really pretty view too

7. Do you prefer sweet things or savory things?

I have such a sweet tooth omg

8. What is the best food your family makes?

Bread, I never thought it could taste as good as how my dad makes it

9. What’s your favorite season?

Winter when it snows, but it rarely does where I live, so I’m gonna say Autumn

10. What is your favorite city in the country you live in?

I haven’t been to a lot of cities in England, but I’m gonna say Liverpool, it’s really pretty and there’s a lot of very attractive and musically talented people there so

11. What’s your favorite kind of weather? 

Cold enough to wear a wooly sweater, but not cold enough for me to be shivering constantly. Also sunny but with a light breeze (and yes I like all of this at once XD)

Now Mina’s 11 Questions:

1. What is the greatest unsolved mystery in your life?

Ohhh, probably how I still manage to leave all my work to the last minute without having anything else to do in the last week and being bored all day long :3

2. What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen today?

Probably this motivational poster I bought today:

3. If you casually adopted one anime character’s wardrobe, whose would it be?

Uraraka Ochako - her non-uniform outfits are so cute!

4. On a scale from HATE to would-bite-into-like-a-fruit, how do you feel about bell peppers?

I like them, both raw and cooked, but I wouldn’t bite into one like a fruit though

5. Do you play (or have considered playing) FGO?

I haven’t heard of it before now actually, but it does look pretty cool! I might try it some day :)

6. What is the rarest pair you have ever shipped?

My ships tend to be mainstream yup I’m boring

7. How do you feel about sick fics?

I don’t really read fanfics, so I’m not sure what you’re referring to here haha

8. What is something you reference excessively?

Just anime in general, except that no one gets the references :’(

9. Saddest moment in any media (book, movie, anime, etc) you have consumed?

Fullmetal alchemist - Nina. No more needs to be said. *wipes tears*

10. Best/worst one-liner from a movie?

Ahhh, my mind’s gone blank! I can’t think of any!

11. What would you make the last question to this questionnaire be?

Well that’s one thing to put when you can’t think of another question, how about “Why did you make this such a difficult question?” hehe Ummm, I don’t know??

Leio’s 11 Questions:

1. Do you know oyashiro-sama?

No..

2. Do you like york peppermint patties?

I’ve never tried those before..

3. What’s your favorite joke?

It’s not necessarily a joke, but one of my fav sentences ever:

“My wife told me to stop being so immature. I told her to get out of my pillow fort.”

4. What would a combination of your favorite and least favorite tropes be like?

What’s a trope???

5. What’s the rom-com-harem-light-novel title of your life?

“Oblivious and Confused” hahaha

6. On a similar note, pick 5 members of your harem

Ohhhh, Nakahara Chuuya, Levi Ackerman, Karma Akabane, Tomoe and Yuusuke Igarashi

7. What is your favorite meme?

Probs this one:

8. What character unexpectedly grew on you? Why?

Tsukishima Kei (from Haikyuu!!) I really disliked him at first, but then he actually started being part of the team rather than ‘this tall dude that’s just really rude to everyone’

9. What would you do if you had the powers of Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo?

I’ve heard of this, butI haven’t read/watched it, so I don’t know what powers they have :/

10. Now what if your hero partner had Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo’s powers; what power would you have in order to complete their ability?

Same as above I’m trash I know

11. On a scale of 1 to how-high-are-you-Rika?, how would you rate these questions? (By the way, I’m not high)

They’re pretty good questions, sorry I can’t answer them all :’)

My Questions:

Who’s your least favourite character?

Coke or Pepsi?

On a scale of “Where is my desk?” to “Organisers for everything!”, how tidy is your desk on an average day?

Favourite quiet and reserved character?

What’s your go-to accessory on a day out? (e.g. jewellery, hair accessory, maybe a badge or something?)

Favourite colour of the rainbow? (No you can’t pick a different shade)

An anime/show that you started and only watched to the end for the sake of getting it finished?

Favourite mythical creature?

Are you the type of person who would give out free hugs at a comic con?

Your favourite way of relaxing?

What’s something that you have always wanted to try, but never had the chance?

[astreetcarnamedwynn]

writing rambles

Updates for days 2 and 3.

Worked On: Still untitled Bungou Stray Dogs fic 

How Long: About 2 hours in total

How Much: Almost 700 words in total. I had sketched out the third section, started to take it in another direction, and then shifted back a bit. Akutagawa is a tricky character to write, especially guiding him through a plausible emotional awakening.

Excerpt: Akutagawa has always prided himself on his ability to accept the harsh truths of life. Perhaps that’s why he’s had such a difficult time accepting this particular truth, for it is not harsh at all.It is soft, and softness fled Akutagawa’s world long ago.

He stands in the shadows of Harbor View Park and watches the weretiger, who sits on a bench, his legs stretched before him and his face tilted up towards the sun. He looks at home, embraced by the sun that resides in his eyes. 

At that thought, Akutagawa averts his gaze. Six months ago, such a thought, ridiculous in its poetry, in its sentimentality, would never have passed through his head. But six months ago Akutagawa had not known the weretiger, he had not stared into his eyes, twilight and gold, and felt their fierce gaze as they fought, first each other and then side by side.

They are supposed to be fighting now, Chuuya sending Akutagawa to the Detective Agency with a lead about a man named Tolstoy, a former associate of Dostoevsky’s, who may know of his ability. Akutagawa was supposed to fetch the weretiger so that they could investigate the lead, but the weretiger had not been at the Agency. Dazai, though, had been, and he had directed Akutagawa here, to this park where the weretiger apparently liked to spend his lunch when the weather was nice.

Akutagawa glances back at the weretiger. 

He shifts on the bench. He glows in the sun. 

How could a child of the moon be so at home in the sun?

[ol-razzle-dazazzle]

A Moral Compass Directs You to a Bar

An attempt to properly give Kunikida and Chuuya the correct characterisation they deserve, also with some shippy stuff. I tend to see these two mischaracterised and flanderized in fanfics so I figured I'd try kill two birds with one stone here, anyway- enjoy. --------------- It was a late night for Kunikida. It always was. While he never was one to show his nervousness (or at least he considered himself as such), it was difficult. He was walking along, flickering through the pages in his notebook. It didn't matter where he was or how he was going, but it was hard. The city was somewhat salvaged, and he didn't want to look up at the debris that lingered around the place. He felt sick. He felt like he failed. Fukuzawa was talking about him the other day, how he was to be the next successor for the Armed Detective Agency. Sure, it figured that he fit the bill, and was the 'ideal' person for the job but... a smashed car, he looked to the side, there was brown, but the rusty colour of dried blood. He was in a seedy area, and the police hadn't cleared everything up. How many people had died? And in the end, it wasn't even him that saved them. Kunikida always helped, of course he did- he always tried to be the best person, from taking extra missions because of urgency or just cleaning up around the office. He held himself to a high standard, why wouldn't he? But he always went through the same thing. The schedule would always be uninterrupted, the 'ideal' would never come about. It hurt, though he resists and persists, but it still aches. Especially ever since...everything with the Azure King. He brushed it aside, but it all managed to catch up with him. With a sigh, he glanced up at some dimly lit bar, well why the hell not? Well the first few reasons include safety, drinking clouds judgement but oh he's already through the door. This is stupid, this is the kind of behaviour that gets people killed. There weren't many people, a metaphoric twist in the knife. "Just a...glass of cold water, to clear my head." Kunikida murmurs to the barkeep, knowing it's not going to stay for that long. A voice almost speaks his mind, "You come all the way over to this hole for a glass of water? I can't tell whether you're an idiot or you want to pretend you have class." The seat next to him gets occupied, and Kunikida freezes, hands clutched to his notebook. "I'd rather not get into a fight drunk, considering your reputation, Nakahara." Kunikida squints at him, unsure as to why the mafiosi hasn't changed in his disposition. "Look, normally I'd love the chance to pound one of you into the ground, but with everything going on lately, the Mafia's wanting a little break from wars." He gives a smirk, "How about a little truce, huh? We can even make a toast if you want." Kunikida shakes his head, but sets the notebook aside. "Seriously? You think I'd lie to you? I mean, I don't want to have to answer to /him/ again anyway." "I know you're honest, but I'd rather not sully myself with the likes of you." Chuuya frowned, a finger moving to the notebook, "Ideal, hmm?" It was swiped away, earning a glare from the other man. "Calm down, I didn't mean to disarm you." Kunikida sneers, "I know that, you're a man of class and an idiot." Chuuya accepts the verbal blow, smiling, "See? Now we're getting somewhere. Barkeep, two glasses." Now with a swirled glass in hand, Chuuya leans back into the seat. "One glass, enough to stir the senses, don't you think?" Kunikida takes a sip, "I suppose, they say a glass a day prolongs your lifespan." "Especially if you're a lightweight, like yours truly." "I don't drink often." Kunikida looks at the pooled red. "Not ideal?" "Stop going on about that." "Well, I don't know much about you outside of files, so that's all I have to go off." Kunikida grits his teeth, "and I don't have much to know about you apart from being a reckless, brutal, drunkard who can't mind his own business." "Well none of those things are true, to that extent- I feel the records flanderize me." "And my ideals are important to me, which is why I can't stand going against them. It's why I go against people like you." Chuuya frowned, "And how's that been going for you so far?" Kunikida stiffened. "You came all this way because life is going along to your little storybook? I can't believe that." "It's not." Kunikida mumbled, "Things haven't been going as planned." "No shit." Chuuya took a sip, raising a glass, "Tons of our people died in all that mess, a lot more than you'd think." "And who is 'our people'? The same criminal dogs who kick morals to the curb?" The glass in Chuuya's hand dropped, rattling. "Well, allow me to enlighten you. Do you have any clue why a mafia is made?" "It's a crime syndicate used to earn money." Kunikida stared back. "I'm not asking for dictionaries, dipshit. The very first one, why was it formed?" Upon seeing no answer, "It was to protect everybody who couldn't go to the police because they were corrupt." "How dare you say that we're-" "You misunderstand. I just mean that not all of us are 10 million yen orphan tigers or math teachers with a lucky break." Chuuya stares at him, "I'm not completely devoid of human sympathy, we all have standards." Kunikida raises an eyebrow, "I don't get why you're telling me all this." "Because I want you to stop being so stupidly strict on yourself and just at least try to enjoy yourself." "Is that where Dazai got it from?" "No, I'm just...look, I feel like fucking shit right now, so I figured 'misery loves company' and that I would at least try to be civil." Chuuya settles his head on the table. "I don't want to sleep because I wake up every morning and there's less people. You can sense it in the air." "That pungent scent of failure." Kunikida looks down. "Yep." Kunikida sighs, clinking his glass with Chuuya's. "To impossible to achieve standards." Chuuya merely nods, propping himself up on the chair. "So what's gotten you all upset? You're the one that gets all the credit, after all, that agency." "It's...a lot of things. Mainly that I didn't do enough." "I hear that. Fucking Akutagawa fixed up everything, my subordinate! Can you believe that shit? And what did I do? Just stand around, doing a few flips?" "You did look rather cool, Kenji couldn't stop talking about you afterwards." "R-Really?" The flush came too quickly on Chuuya's face, coughing. "Didn't expect that." "Not to mention Lovecraft, he was difficult enough regularly with the other one, let alone with that...ability?" "Would you have liked to have seen my kickflips then?" Chuuya smirks. "Yes, I would." Kunikida rolls his eyes. "Well, when you lay it all out like that it sounds like we did quite a bit." The two sigh, "But it wasn't enough." "They always say 'you did the best you could', but you know deep down you could do more." Kunikida flicks through the pages, uncaring of he glances. "Well, you know- there's always a difference between theory and practise. You could specifically plan everything to its best potential, but when it actually happens it never works out that way." "That just means you have to try harder." "What it means is that you have to allow room for 'error'. You got a pen?" Chuuya asks, a hand splayed out, as he scrawls what he said, on the back page. "Don't rip it out, will you?" "Thanks for the free calling card. If there's every any handwriting analysis I'll be sure to know if it's yours." Kunikida jokes. "Nah, we get Elise or Mori to write those anyway, they prefers it like that." Chuuya waves a dismissal hand, "Besides, it's nice to have something on record that isn't 'idiotic aggressive drunkard'." "And what, you're going to update my own 'file'?" "Maybe, but it's nice to know you aren't half as annoying as I thought you'd be." "Likewise." Kunikida took back his pen, writing once more. "Hm...? 'Can't be in the Port Mafia'? Wait, this is under 'ideal partner'." Chuuya exhales, "Well that's fucking rude. You had to add another restriction just for me." "Well it's like you said, I can't achieve a perfect ideal, because life doesn't work that way." "What's this? You think I'd be a decent partner except for that one part?" Kunikida merely sets judgement aside, and sets his lips on Chuuya's own. Objectively, it wouldn't be perfect, but the imperfections made the world around him soften slightly. "Well my ideal is to not have anyone from the Agency, so I guess that doesn't work out nicely." But it did, and for a while it felt like those contradictions made sense.