#skeletons vs birds

[respawningjupiter]

That feeling when you and Sans undertale plan a war against birds.

This is the Area 51 raid all over again 😭

JUNE 17TH WE ARE GOING TO WAR AGAINST BIRDS 👹👹👹

[bufffox]

This is spookiest creepypasta ever made!

I was walking around in a city because my dumb 🌮ss grandma told me to get exercise cuz im dummy THICC! the streets are fill with rats. Trash and hobos. There was one hobo walked up too me and told me if he liked seseme street! I told him yes cuz I was... well... a big man child! He told me that he was gonna give me the disk for $1. Well darn it! All I have is a $5 bill! Is I gave him my five dollar!

I went back to my house and got the disk and I was surprised that it was surprisingly clean when I got it from that hobo! I put the DVD in the DVD player, grabbed some snacks and soda and sit back and relax! I realized that it only has one episode! "Well that sucked" I said to myself, the intro has spooky Mexican music and the title says "COOKIE MONSTER GOES TO TACO BELL!" and it says that it's the 666th episode! (The devils number! dun dun DUUUNNN!!!)

The episode started with the cookie monster digging around a bunch of garbage while annoying Oscar the grouch! "WHAT THE FREAKING H🌮LL ARE YOU DOING?!?! shouted the grouch! I was shocked when Oscar said the word h🌮ll in a baby show! Anyways the cookie monster asked Oscar what he was eating and told him it's a taco from taco bell. "OOH! THAT TACO LOOKS TASTY AND CRUNCHY LIKE COOKIE!!!" shouted cookie monster! The cookie monster asked where the taco bell and Oscar pointed out the location and then cookie monster runs so fast! "HAHAHA! what a sh🌮t head!" Said Oscar. I can't believe that he said the word "SH🌮T"! yeeeaah... I don't think this was meant for kids.

The scene changes to big bird who was trying to do a magic trick to impress a bunch of children. Big bird called up one of the kids up stage and the kid seems to be a little jerk! He starts kicking Big birds leg! "OW that hurts! Stop that" Said Big bird, but the kid continues kicking! The actor or puppeteer was getting pissed off and started talking in a gruff voice while being out of character! "HEY! You better cut that out right now or your gonna regret it!!!" Said Big bird. But then the kid has a sinister smile on his face and gave two middle fingers at big bird! "THATS IT!!!!!!!!!!" screamed big bird as his eyes started glowing red and started to breathe fire at the freaking kid as he melted into nacho cheese and the other kids celebrated and started eating the melted cheese on the stage! I can't blame big bird cuz that kid was a freaking jerk, though. I thought the scene was awesome!

So the scene returned to the cookie monster carrying a big tray of tacos and burritos and he starts munching and crunching on the large amount of Mexican food with beef, cheese, lettuce, baked beans, sour cream, taco shells and burrito wrap flying everywhere! a title card shows said 20 minutes later and shows the cookie monster sitting while holding his stomach! but then, his stomach begin to gurgle really loud! "UH OH! ME TUMMY NOT DOING TOO GOOD" Said cookie monster as he let's out a BIG, WET, SLOPPY FART and the fart came alive! The fart has blood shot eyes, sharp teeth and a cool lookin Mexican mustach! The fart starts talking to cookie monster "hey amigo! You better get to the bathroom before I will stab you to death you peice of tonterías! Adios!". The fart poofs away and the cookie monster was trembling in fear and looks at the veiwer!

The next scene changes again and it shows ernie jumping on a trampoline! Ernie said "hey kids! Today I was going to jump so high up in the heavens to beat up Mr. hooper for making my sandwich extremely expensive!" To make ernie jump high, he told me to say alot of swear words out loud and he starts jumping extremely high! As he got to heaven, he finds mr. Hooper was dressed up like like an angel with wings and a halo. Ernie went up to Mr. Hooper and kicked him in the groin! ernie was falling down to earth as he broke through his roof and landed on Bert, breaking his spine! "Oh hey Bert! Thanks for breaking my fall!" Said ernie as he snickered. "AAAAHH! ERNIE! YOU BROKE MY BACK! CALL A DOCTOR!" Said Bert, and ernie said "doctor WHO?" As ernie started to laugh as a blue phone booth magicly appeared out of nowhere! I cringed so hard from that stupid doctor who reference!

The scene returned to cookie monster was walking slowly to the bathroom as he was farting while he was holding his stomach! Elmo went up behind cookie monster. "Oh hey cookie monster! DO YOU HAVE TO GO POO POO TOO?" Said elmo laughing like a gremlin who snorted freaking cr🌮ck! But then cookie monster just sh🌮rted on elmo! The liquid p🌮🌮p was steaming boiling hot, it started to burn off elmos red fur and his flesh started to melt away into a skull like acid! "OOPS! sorry elmo!" Said cookie monster as he watched elmos melted body on the floor twitching! I felt sick to my stomach when I saw that scene!

The cookie monster ran to the bathroom, sit on the toilet and let it rip! The sounds of cookie monster screaming in agony while the explosion of di🌮rrhea sounds like W0rld War ll in the freaking toilet! Cookie monster was looking at me and said "k-kiddies! Me not gonna make it because this evil toilet is taking me freaking soul to h🌮ll! AAAAH!!!!" as the cookie monster released a huge explosive d🌮mp! It is so loud it made my whole house shake! Then cookie monster was relieved that the pain was over! He got up from the extremely full toilet and tried to flush! When suddenly, the toilet can't flush! Cookie monster was scared and said "UH OH! ME THINK ME ANGERED THE TOILET GOD!!!".

When suddenly, the bathroom began to shake and then it stopped until a giant green pipe bursts out of the ground and someone came out of the pipe and it was non other than... captain luo Albano! (The voice of mario from the super Mario bros super show!) He was dressed up like Mario from the live action scenes from the show! "HEY PAISANOS!" Said captain luo as he happily waves to the veiwer while the ground theme from SMB2 starts playing a little! But then... captain... y-you know what, I'm just gonna call him Mario cuz it's much easier say. So Mario look shocked what cookie monster did in the toilet while the castle theme from SMB starts playing!

Mario walked up to cookie monster who was behind the dirty toilet! "HEY BLUE FURBALL! how dare you ruin a perfectly good looking toilet?!?!" Said mario shouted at cookie monster for what he has done! "Uuuuhhh... it was an accident?" Said the cookie monster as he shrugged like it was nothing! "Oh really, well looks like your going DOWN!" Said mario as he picked up cookie monster and did a pile drive move on him! DANG! I know captain luo was a wrestler, but this is getting really cool! Then there was en extremely awesome rock metal version of the ground theme from SMB starts playing while Mario starts doing other wrestler moves to beat up the cookie while jumping on his head, Throwing turnips, alot more other moves with a bunch of SMB and SMB2 sound effects! Then mario saw a few floating blocks in the air and he jumped and hit the blocks and grabbed a fire flower and changed his clothes from a red and blue color to a red and white color! He throws a fire ball at cookie monster as he burns into ashes! Mario said "never ever disrespect someone with pasta power!"

I celebrated for mario for defeating cookie monster because he was my most favorite show growing up! Mario walked in front of the camera and said this to me! "Remember kids! Never go to taco bell! And if you're not watching the Super mario bros super show, you're gonna turn into a goomba!" I was confused! "Wait WUT?" I said to myself. But then I magicly turned into a goomba! As looked at my whole body, I looked at the TV and mario said "see I told ya!" Said mario as the dvd player freaking EXPLODED!!!! Since I'm a goomba, I'm ne never ever EVER watching seseme street ever again! Oh... and I'm never going to taco bell, and that's why I switched to McDonald's instead!

THE END!!! :)

[eighthdoctor]

everyone is aware that fossils don't just give us the skeleton of an animal, right? like even from a fossilized bone you can conclude all kinds of interesting things like how much muscle the animal carried there and whether they were likely to be a sprinter or endurance runner. from teeth you can get sooooo much. from skin impressions you obviously get feathers vs scales vs fur, but you can also do some genuinely insane shit with feather color analysis???

footprints and nests tell us about social groups. pathologies on the bones tell us about injuries, disease, and predation. preserved stomach contents are amazing when we get them, and fossils of multiple animals joined together (as in the Fighting Dinosaurs) are literally invaluable.

and that's just sticking within paleontology!

paleoecology plays with ethology, ecology, and evobio to reconstruct ecosystems and behaviors. rules of behavior, of energy transfer (eg, via eating!), and of evolution (eg, sexual selection vs natural selection) remain in play 65 million years ago or 500 million years ago or yesterday.

we either know so many, many more things about prehistoric animals than just "this is what their skeleton looked like" or we can make very accurate inferences based on modern animals.

for example: both birds (basically the whole clade) and crocodilians put on noisy, energetically expensive displays for mate selection. there's a range of ways in which this appears, but it is the simplest possible answer to conclude that most if not all nonavian dinosaurs engaged in some degree of dramatic yelling & posturing at individuals in order to influence their sexual choices.

(this is not a requirement! off the top of my head tigers do not do this. humans do it, a lot of other mammals do it, and birds do it at 5 am outside my window every morning.)

for example: large herbivores living in ecosystems with predators who are big enough to kill BABIES but not ADULTS tend to run in social groups where the adults form a protective circle around the babies (bison, elephants). again it is reasonable to conclude that sauropods would have done similar. (if predators are big enough to kill adults, flight is a much better option for everyone.)

like. every time i see that fucking "there's no reason to think t rex didn't look like a giant fuzzy sparrow" post i lose my mind. people have invested decades of their lives to conclude with pretty substantial evidence that t rex absolutely did not look like that.

quit writing off knowledge because you hate the shrinkwrapped dinos from the 90s. don't worry, everyone else hates them too! we have moved on to bigger and better reconstructions. t rex still looks like a goddamn predator though. and acts like one too.

[animalshowdown]

Phylum Round 3

Chordata: All animals with a backbone (Vertebrata), but also some invertebrates. Chordata includes fish, birds, mammals, reptiles, and amphibians, but also sea squirts and lancelets. All Chordates have a notochord (supportive rod-like structure), a hollow dorsal nerve cord, pharyngeal slits (for filter feeding/breathing), a post-anal tail, and an endostyle (feeding organ) or thyroid (hormonal gland). Interestingly, many Chordates have overcome the need to raise their young in water by laying shelled eggs or carrying young within the womb. Fur, feathers, and scales are all unique adaptations found within Chordata. This phylum exhibits remarkable diversity overall.

Echinodermata: Sea urchins, sea stars, sea cucumbers, brittle stars, and feather stars. This widespread phylum can be found near every continent, including Antarctica, where they are particularly dominant. They are distinctive for their radially symmetrical body and skeleton located between the outer skin and inner body cavity. They move by hydraulic power using a "water vascular system" which pumps water throughout their body. Hundreds of tube feet extend and retract using this system, allowing them to crawl on the seafloor. These organisms play important roles in the food chain of their habitats, like sea urchins grazing in kelp forests.

[starkdirewolflove]

So much happening in X-Men ‘97 this week.

Blue and Gold Team, original suits, Storm and Forge joining the team, Rogue and Roberto leaving to join Magneto, Muir Island, Asteroid M and Sinister controlling Cable.

Magneto had so many great points and lines in this ep, when he told Xavier he only had two words for him I thought he was gonna say “fuck off” instead of “shut up.” Also “your Shi’ar bird queen” is up there with “Milky Way ghetto” for species insults.

Fucking hell those battles at the end of the episode: Morph as the Hulk “Morph smash!” Jean vs Sinister, Beast slapping down sentinels, the blackbird going down with Forge in it, Storm being hit into the ocean and Sinister controlling Cable to attack Jean with his telekinesis. The battle on Asteroid M: Rogue vs Wolverine, Sunspot vs Jubilee and everyone else trying to get Magneto’s helmet. Cyclops showed his true loyalty by stopping Xavier to give Jean and the others more time to stop Bastion but it put them all in the difficult position of having to face Magneto’s wrath.

Holy shit, Wolverine for the win trying to kill Magneto while the others were all restrained but to quote Thanos “you should’ve gone for the head.”

Magneto was taking no shit from anyone anymore “this feud ends,” then he rips the adamantium from Wolverine’s skeleton.

How are they gonna top this with next week’s finale? I can only guess that once Bastion is dealt with that the cliffhanger will be that Apocalypse is back and (fingers crossed) he brings Gambit back as Death.

[bestdriltweet]

Dril Tournament S2 - Round 2

big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

VS.

if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

[kisiel-z-kosmosu]

The two types of biology fans (I am both of them)

additonal design doodles^

This wasn't supposed to be botany vs zoology, but it turned out like it did. It isn't! I remember she has a lot of peas and other plant experiments in her room! Yeah, and they on the other hand cant stop spying on bird nests like a creep. HEY!! you the one digging skeletons!!.... Ok, I blocked you, that's mine narration here. Anyway their names are Danny and Konstancja/Kostka (Constance but has a pl bones joke inside).

Oh, they already friends again.

I found the meme that inspired this!!!

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Suskityrannus vs Maip

Factfiles:

Suskityrannus hazelae 

Artwork by Andrey Atuchin, written by @zygodactylus

Name Meaning: Hazel Wolfe’s Coyote Tyrant 

Time: 92 million years ago (Turonian stage of the Late Cretaceous) 

Location: Moreno Hill Formation, Zuni Basin, New Mexico 

When you follow the progress of paleontology long enough, you start to see things that were previously left undescribed actually get names and the respect they deserve - whether its the “putative screamer” Anachronornis or the “Zuni Coelurosaur” Suskityrannus, you’re sure to get a nice moment and a sense of satisfaction from it. Suskityrannus has been well known for a while due to it being featured in both When Dinosaurs Roamed America as well as Planet Dinosaur. Thought at various times to be a basal Coelurosaur or Tyrannosauroid, its official description placed it somewhat derived within Tyrannosaurs, showcasing the evolution of the Tyrannosaur group as it transitioned from the smaller more speedy forms (like Suskityrannus) to the giant murder birds we know and love later in the Cretaceous. In fact, Suskityrannus lived in an ecosystem that highlighted its changing world, with many early representatives of the later iconic North American Cretaceous ecosystems showing up in early forms in Moreno Hill. Suskityrannus was about one meter tall and three meters long, and already had many adaptations known from later tyrannosaurs. In the forested coastal ecosystem at Moreno Hill, Suskityrannus would have been neighbors with Zuniceratops, Nothronychus, Jeyawati, ankylosaurs, fish, and turtles. 

Maip macrothorax

Artwork by @i-draws-dinosaurs, written by @zygodactylus

Name Meaning: Long-chested Shadow of Death 

Time: 72 to 66 million years ago (Maastrichtian stage of the Late Cretaceous) 

Location: Chorrillo Formation, Patagonia, Argentina 

Megaraptors, a group not even really understood a few decades ago, just keep having more and more interesting members added to this group - Maip, a recent addition known from many bones of the trunk and tail, help fill out more of this picture with remains not known from other Megaraptors, and als having the most complete Megaraptor skeleton known. Maip was also interesting in having a very long, thick torso, leading to its specific name. It probably reached 9 to 10 meters in length in life, making it the largest Megaraptor known (literally reaching carcharodontosaurid size), and it may indicate that megaraptors rose to high-level predator status as other top predators went extinct in the region. It had a respiratory system similar to modern birds, with unidirectional air flow, much like other Saurischian dinosaurs. Living in southernmost South America, Maip would have had to deal with a variety of harsh climates, and may have been covered in feathers in order to keep warm. In addition to mosasaurs, snakes, turtles, mammals, fish, and frogs, Maip lived with other dinosaurs such as Nullotitan, Kookne, Yatenavis, and Isasicursor. 

DMM Round One Masterpost

[o-craven-canto]

What is your position on the debate between contingency and convergence in evolution? As a creator and enjoyer of speculative evolution, I imagine you might fall more towards contingency, but I'd still be curious on your overall thoughts on it, and on how different a separate run of evolution on an earthlike planet would really be.

Hmm.

Biologists usually distinguish two types of resemblance among organisms: analogy, which mostly regards general function and appearance and is driven by common conditions, and homology, which mostly regards deep structure and is driven by common ancestry.

All the limbs of land-dwelling vertebrates and their descendants are made of one long bone, followed by two parallel long bones, followed by a maximum of five (except in ichthyosaur flippers) series of digit bones. This you see from frogs to seagulls to horses to manatees to moles -- the descendants of proto-amphibians such as Ichthyostega -- but not in any other animal group. This is the canonical example of homology: there is no reason for such different limbs with functions so different to share the same 1-2-n pattern except inheritance from a common ancestor. On the other hand, the wings of birds and those of insects, or for that matter their eyes, are so different because they arose independently. The common features in the wings of a hummingbird and a dragonfly are due to the same physical constraints, and that is analogy.

Sometimes it depends from the level of analysis: bird wings and bat wings are analogous as wings -- their flight surface is achieved by different means, feathers in one and skin in the other -- but homologous as vertebrate forelimbs -- they have the same 1-2-n sequence of bones, and their development is regulated by the same genes.

There are, of course, physical reasons for structures to resemble each other: everything that moves quickly through water needs to be more or less spindle-shaped; everything that grows past a few hundred grams on dry land needs some sort of rigid support; photosynthesizers and filter-feeders need fractally branching structures; and so on. Compound eyes and exoskeletons really are more efficient at smaller sizes, camera-type eyes and internal skeletons at larger, so that's a reason other than ancestry for insects and birds to be so different; but the largest butterflies are bigger than the smallest hummingbirds, so it's not just a matter of scale; and the eyes of tunas are more like the eyes of eagles than like the eyes of squids, so it's not just a matter of environment.

Some classical examples of convergent evolutions overstate their case a bit: sharks, ichthyosaurs, and dolphin all started from the same aquatic vertebrate chassis, so their similarity is not pure environment-driven convergence. (But it is a bit: from the same chassis you can also make a turtle or a crane.) Similarly for marsupial mice and moles vs. their placentate equivalent, none of whom gets that far from the original mammal model to begin with. When you get a bit farther, you find that the Australian equivalent of a horse is not an almost identical "marsupial horse" but a kangaroo, for reasons that have to do with marsupial birth. It's the same for the now-famous case of carcinization, which only applies to decapod crustaceans -- it's not even universal for crustaceans in general! If you try over and over to make an open-water pursue predator out of the vertebrate plan, you'll get similar results: the shark, the tuna, the ichthyosaur, the dolphin. But try the same with the mollusk plan, and you get a squid.

Now, convergence is likely to occur on other planets, because anything recognizable as life will have similar requirements and meet similar challenges. But it will be much more subtle than making planets full of blue horses and humans with weird eyebrows (I can't overstate how complex and specific the history of our body shape is). Assuming an Earth-like planet, for example, I'd expect its surface ecosystems to be overwhelmingly based on photosynthesis, its "plants" to have branching shapes with flat light collectors, and its largest "animals" to be bilaterally symmetrical with eyes, intestines, and skeletons of some sort. But that still leaves an enormous amount of variety, based both on ancestry and on smaller-scale micro-environmental constraints: note that the description of "animal" I gave fits equally a tarantula, a giraffe, a snail, and an axolotl.

TL;DR: many important traits of living organisms are made necessary by physical and environmental constraints, but there's an immense variety of ways to develop them, and that is mostly going to be driven by contingencies in ancestry. In my opinion, that is.

As readings, I'd recommend The Equations of Life: How Physics Shapes Evolution (Charles Cockell, 2018) and Convergent Evolution on Earth: Lessons for the Search for Extraterrestrial Life (George McGhee, 2019) as summaries of the physical constraints and useful strategies that are going to arise over and over in living systems, as well as this brief paper on the evolution of complexity in alien life. Note how much similarity they predict, but also note how much they don't!

Thanks for the question! <3

[justslowdown]

I think the closest I've come to falling in love was with someone who ended up moving to Norway to study bats

We met interning at the zooarchaeology lab--our university's comparative collection of thousands of boxes of skeletons. She was cataloging every bone on every box in the bat section, and I was working through the birds

She raised rabbits and trained her dog to detect bat scat

The impulsive adventures she took me on woke me up. To go out caving or to go hiking out in actual the middle of nowhere, with just her GPS system she used when she did field work in the summers

I have such sharp clear memories of the little moments--we saw a barred owl in the rain once, so close because it couldn't hear us coming.

Once, she saw me out walking my dog (we lived nearby) and asked if I wanted to come along to a poetry reading of her published stuff that she'd been asked to do, at some slam poetry meet up an hour away

I remember one of them was an intimate one about her abortion, and I was so struck by the vulnerability and honesty in front of strangers. I felt so much in her I wanted to be more like. So uninhibited and joyful to get to experience existing, and so certain what she had to bring was good and worth it.

I'm glad she had a partner up until right before she moved. We had a quasi-romantic friendship but didn't need to have the awkward conversations around attraction. It's beyond frustrating... my romantic attraction vs sexual attraction rarely lines up and people deserve to feel wanted, if that's a need they have... but I do wish I'd been able to show her how special I felt she was

[fr-likes-chocolate]

Interesting things about the QSMP

Rubius being an angel and demon

Bad being a reaper vs foolish who is a totem of undying

Cellbit, who uses unethical means for a good cause vs forever who had good intentions but is often used for evil

Phil, who refuses to die vs the already dead Missa (he is a skeleton)

Cucurucho vs evilrucho

Eye vs federation

Quackity vs ElQuackity

(this is a kind of personal one that I just think is interesting because there are parallels between them but-) Spreen, forced to be with Fit vs Pac, Who wants to be with Fit

Tallulah’s daddy problems vs Tilin’s daddy problems (vs Pepito’s daddy problems...)

Egg island vs quesadilla island

Phil is a free bird forcibly caged vs Baghera being caged all her life

Phil kills Tubbo, making Bolas win, vs Phil saves tubbo by flying him to the boat

[tma-entity-song-poll]

Battle of the Fear Bands B3R2: The Flesh

Eat You:

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY:

"bones bones bones! let me see your bones!"

Lyrics below the line!

Eat You:

Cause you're my chocolate covered strawberry Cause you're my piping hot pastry Dreaming about the moment that I own you Love you to the bone Cause you're my vicious but delicious cheat A heart attack lip smacking sweet I don't deserve you either way I'll serve you Finally I got the nerve I go hungry every night Not this time around I'm gonna eat you, you're my desire I'm gonna sharpen all my teeth and build a fire I'm gonna eat you, cook and defeat you I'm gonna breathe you in my lungs and make you mine 'Cause you've been sticky with your tricky words And I would crumble like a humble bird But now you're so tender with an ear I can bend and Tell you how I feel I go hungry every night Not this time around I'm gonna eat you, you're my desire I'm gonna sharpen all my teeth and build a fire I'm gonna eat you, cook and defeat you I'm gonna breathe you in my lungs and make you mine You delicate young delicacy You consummate hot consommé You grossly beautiful grocery You exquisitely sweet cuisine I go hungry every night Not this time around, not this time around! I'm gonna eat you, you're my desire I'm gonna sharpen all my teeth and build a fire I'm gonna eat you, cook and defeat you I'm gonna breath you in my lungs and make you mine

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY:

To cut down on my silhouette My favorite foods are smoke and hearts My leftover frets forget stiletto-self vendettas While my cracking backbone lacks but backs up my false starts All nightmares start as dreams and I hear my subconscious screaming They say that beauty's just skin deep So naturally, please show me your Bones, bones, bones, let me see your bones Well, I don't wanna know if the feeling follows home Bones, bones, bones, hell, we're all alone If I come home, baby, will you show your bones? Lumps in throats and petticoats Your baby teeth would pray for you A selfish book is always open and some of the best liars only want the truth All love starts as a scheme So wake me up, I'm tired of sleeping They say that beauty's just skin deep So obviously please show me your Bones, bones, bones, let me see your bones Well, I don't wanna know if the feeling follows home Bones, bones, bones, hell, we're all alone If I come home, baby, will you show your bones? All nightmares start as dreams, all love starts as a scheme Give me all your LSD so I can feel my mind unweave again They say that beauty's just skin deep So Ana stands and rends the rancid meat from her Bones, bones, bones, I can see my bones Well I don't wanna know if the feeling follows home Bones, bones, bones, hell, we're all alone If I come home, baby, will you show your bones? My bones, your bones Tell me you can see my bones My bones, your bones Tell me you can see them

[disneyparksattractionstournament]

Disney Parks Animatronic Tournament Match ups: Round 1

Should start tomorrow!

Bracket A/Tier 1:

Hondo Ohnaka vs Beast

Davy Jones vs Disco Yeti

Lava Monster vs Kylo Ren

Anna (Hong Kong version) vs Mr. Potato Head

Jack Sparrow vs BB8

Stitch vs Hopper

Lumiere vs Sven

Belle and Prince Adam vs Tiana

Stunt Spiderman vs Clawhauser

Wheezy vs Tiki Room Stitch

Rocket Raccoon vs C3PO

Shaman of Songs vs Elsa (Hong Kong version)

Ursula vs Lieutenant Bek

Dragon under castle vs Olaf

Hatbox Ghost vs Lantern Belle

Albert vs Dwarves in Mine Train

Bracket B/Tier 2:

Madame Leota vs Fantasmic dragon/Murphy

Giant from Sinbad's Storybook Voyage vs Swedish Chef

Finale conductor Sebastian vs Big Al

Roger Rabbit vs Br'er Porcupine

Dreamfinder vs Constance Hatchaway

Redd vs Munchkins

Skippy vs DJ R3X

Singing Geese vs 1900 Patricia

Daisy Duck vs Mary Poppins

Trixie vs The Five Bear Rugs

Jack Skellington vs Carnotaurus

Buzz Lightyear vs John

Aladar vs Zazu

RX-24 vs John Wayne

Max, Buff and Melvin vs Teddi Berra

Iago vs Panchito

José vs Uh-oa

Sun Bonnet Trio vs Br'er Raccoon

Figment vs Little Leota

Horned King vs Roz

Malestrom trolls vs Donald Duck

Abraham Lincoln vs Q’aráq

Statler and Waldorf vs Gene Kelly

Marshmallow vs Wicked Witch of the West

Will Rogers Jr/Lasso cowboy vs ExtraTERRORestrial Alien

Farming bunnies vs Frank

Timekeeper vs VR Grandma

Luggage Scanner Droids vs Railway end Mickey

Scuttle vs Bean Bunny

S.I.R.(Tim Curry robot) vs Liver Lips Mcgrowl

Buzzy vs Phantom

Ellen Ripley vs Sonny Eclipse

Bracket C/Tier 3:

Hitchhiking Ghosts vs Blue Fairy

Mr Bluebird vs Hag with apple

Richard the pineapple vs Sea Serpent

The Muppet Penguin Orchestra vs The Lost Safari

Horizons Robot butler vs Girl with goose

POTC Donkey vs Goat with dynamite

Jessica Rabbit vs Tiki room birds

Evil queen in window vs dancing Ariel

Puffins vs Mickey Mouse Review Alice

Little Red vs Unnamed laundry girl

Computer engineer woman/Foxy vs Indiana Jones snake

Hula Girls vs Disappearing butterfly

Splash Mountain finale chickens vs Sauropod

Tiger with umbrella vs Br'er Fox and Bear end scene

Donald's butt vs Drunk hats stealing pirate

Xenomorph vs Sally

Drew Carey vs Figaro

Rover vs Nemo seagulls

Exercise Patricia vs Tiki room Jose

Rosita vs Small World hippo

Darla vs POTC prison dog

Beating heart bride vs Barnstormer chickens

Boothill Boys/Vultures vs Ballroom dancer ghosts

Pansy, Poppy and Petunia (Splash opossums) vs Pig pirate

"Here kitty kitty" pirate vs Evil queen turns into hag

Skeleton ship pirate vs Small World cowboy

Singing birds of paradise vs Primeval World diorama

Jungle cruise elephants vs Barker Bird

Uncle Orville vs Granny ghost

Carlos' wife vs Energy dinos

Rabbit family with carrot vs jungle cruise hippos

Dirty foot pirate vs FSU gopher

[irlcats-bracket]

Bracket 1 Round 1 Poll 6

Rusty vs Baccara Rose

RUSTY

Rusty used to be a stray and then he had An Accident and now he has three legs (he had been living at a vet's office for a month when submitter adopted him). But he's doing great! Submitter taught him how to climb stairs and built him some steps out of cardboard boxes so he can get on their bed whenever he wants. They think he could be anywhere from 6 to 12 years old, it's hard to say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. To their pleasant surprise, he does not mind wearing a harness at all, which is good because he still loves the outdoors. He often gets his ear turned inside out while bathing and weirdly prefers dry food over wet.

BACCARA ROSE

She's submitter's precious old little kitten, and she shares the same birthday as them (she's exactly ten years younger than them) (: She's an absolute cutie who loves cuddling in the morning when they're supposed to get up, and sometimes she gets so caught up in birdcatching that she catches more than she can eat, and then submitter's brother gets to steal some bird skeletons and display them.

[magical-characters-tourney]

Magical Boy Tournament: Round 2

Entrant Propaganda:

Dark Magician

A powerful mage with just a ton of support in the card game.

Mozart

Have you ever wondered what if classical composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was a pink haired magical boy with a weird hat? What if he could summon a giant skeleton? Or what if he could turn people into birds? Well congratulations because now he can!

VOTE FOR MY MAN AND BROTHER MOZART!!!!!!!!!!!! HE DIDN'T CREATE TRANS PEOPLE IN 2016 IN VAIN

Please god I want him to get to the next round. PLEASE

[keelywolfe]

The Bird in the Hand Shouldn't Punch the Gift Horse in the Mouth (baon)

Summary: All Sans wanted was lunch and instead he got the one thing he wasn't looking for: effort. Good thing Red is worth it.

Tags: Kustard, Domestic, Established Relationship, Sans/Underfell Sans, Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Background Spicyhoney, 

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

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All things considered, it was a pretty nice day on the surface world and Sans was sitting outside, working on what was likely his most important decision of the day.

Namely, trying to figure out what he was gonna do about lunch.

When they built the Embassy, it was designed with a large courtyard in the center, an overflowing garden space and lots of pathways and benches. Thanks to Asgore there was always something out there blooming, even in the dead of winter, and no one should ever underestimate the gardening skills of a Boss monster who suddenly had access to a decent fertilizer.

This year the new guy running the cafeteria came up with a plan that on nice days, there would be a food cart set up for anyone who wanted to eat out in the sunshine. For a buncha monsters who’d never even seen the rays a few years ago, much less had a chance to work on their tans, it was a popular lunchtime choice.

So popular that the line was entirely too fucking long and that meant Sans’s two favorite pastimes, laziness and food, were at war with each other. Eh, maybe more like a mild skirmish than a war, closer to a slap fight between two prom queens who’d worn the same dress.

Problem was, if a guy, say, a skeleton guy with impeccable fashion sense and a great sense of humor wanted some of the goodies, waiting in line was a requirement. If you missed out on the queue, you were stuck with whatever leftovers were lingering at the bottom of the bag. That was usually where the health food options hung out with vegetables and sadness; celery was no substitute when a guy was looking for deep fat fry.

Waiting in line vs tasty goodness, it was a dilemma and Sans was sitting on his regular bench as he contemplated the equation. Energy out (waiting in line) vs energy in (delish food) and he was so deep in mathsy logic that he didn’t even notice Red making his creeper way over.

Having a grease-stained paper tray shoved into his lap with a terse, “here,” was one way to derail his thought process. Sans grabbed it automatically before it could tumble down to the ground and raise the cholesterol of the local wildlife.

He looked down at the unexpected gift to see a tray of fries, but wait, not just any fries, fries from Louie's, one of the local extra-greasy spoons. The burgers there were pretty good but the fries, now those were a legit orgasmic experience, and these didn’t look like an exception to the rule. Still so fresh the heat was soaking through both the thin carboard and Sans’s shorts, the ketchup so recently applied it hadn't had time to soak in and make 'em soggy.

They looked fucking delicious, but Sans was always a little wary of unexpected gifts, especially ones that appeared from a certain red-eyed, shark-toothed genie.

Thing was, Louie's was halfway across town, further than either of them could easily, or even with fanatical difficulty, shortcut. Which meant Red was either involved in some sort of bribe/blackmailing incident or he’d managed to break several laws of physics, both of which were a lot of effort for him to put out before lunch.

Hm.

Sans picked up a fry with the same caution as he might disable a greasy bomb, studied the layer of ketchup intently, noting the sprinkle of salt. He ate it and it crunched lightly, gloriously, between his teeth, the golden crust bathed in fatty deliciousness the perfect vessel to contain the soft, mealy innards.

All in all, good shit. Well worth being poisoned if that were on the table.

Now that Sans had accepted his fate, he munched his way through the fries agreeably, ignoring Red when he heaved himself up to sit next to him on the bench. Or at least pretending to ignore him since actually doing it was a fast track to getting behind in the game. No tray of his own, interesting; Red wasn’t actually much of a fry fan, he preferred chili dogs. Sans didn’t have an opinion on Louie’s contribution to that genre, but Red always ordered ‘em there without complaint so they couldn’t be too bad.

What he did have in his possession was a coffee cup and instead of drinking from it, he set it next to Sans’s hip in silent, pointed communication.

Message received. Sans picked up the cup between wolfing down his unexpected and dubiously welcome lunch, and took a wary sip. On his tongue was not the burnt undernotes that was always in Louie’s coffee despite it being brewed almost constantly, a taste that lingered in the mouth hours later, even if a guy dispelled his tongue. No, this was pitch-black nitro blend that was only available in-house at the Beanery on Tuesdays.

Today was Friday. Hm. Another confusing clue in his unanticipated afternoon mystery. If any meddling kids showed up with a big-ass dog, Sans was heading back down to his office.

He was mostly done with his fries when another Monster approached them. Mandy worked upstairs in the administration offices doing fuck only knew what. She was a pretty little bird monster with a colorful crest on her head that popped up whenever she got enthusiastic.

Sans knew this because her enthusiasm extended to a reality TV show called ‘Romance Island Retreat’ and he knew that because she’d seen the button on his hoodie last week for Team Veronica and figured he was a fan, too.

Not that he’d ever seen the damn show, the pin was actually from the Archie’s comic books and he’d gotten it free last time he’d stopped to pick up his monthly stash at the local store, pinned it on without thinking much about it. But he’d never been one to piss on anyone else’s Wheaties, unlike other people who seemed to enjoy it, and he’d let her ramble on about it, nodding in all the right places and injecting predictable bullshit in at appropriate times. Wasn’t too hard, because OMG can you BELIEVE he did that? What an asshole move, right, and-and-and-

It'd been funny enough that he’d read up on the wiki about the show and they’d chatted a couple times since about it. Pierce was an asshole, but he really did hope Veronica made the final cut so he didn’t need to get a new pin.

There’d been a new episode last night and Mandy was probably filled to bursting about it, ready to go over it scene by scene over a little falafel and fries. And here was Red in her seat, studiously not looking at her as she hovered uncertainly by the bench with her lunch tray in wing.

Well, now. This was interesting.

Sans wasn’t much for puzzles, that was Paps’s schtick, but he damn well knew how to slide tab A into slot B. And out and in and out and in, but that wasn’t exactly work-safe, now was it.

Her excitement about last night’s totally-not-at-all scripted emotional rollercoaster didn’t seem able to stand up to Red’s menacing aura and she’d already visibly decided to sit somewhere else when Red said, a touch too loudly, "fuck off."

It would take a hardy soul indeed to make any sort of argument around Red’s version of logic and Mandy promptly fucked off, heading over to the benches on the other side of the oversized peonies bobbing in the breeze.

Sans licked the ketchup off a fry before eating it in two quick bites. "that was rude," he said mildly.

Red grunted. "that was barely on th' rude meter, you wanna see rude, i can give you a fuckin' show."

Yeah, from the side glances the other Monsters were giving them, that was exactly what they were hoping for. Not a single one of them made for the doors, all the assholes who worked here must’ve bought their survival instincts at the same store where Stretch shopped. Sans kept his voice low and even. "save it for broadway. what you can do is apologize."

Red looked at him like he'd suggested an all-night threeway with Jabba the Hut, with that shiny gold robot along to narrate.

Sans only serenely sipped his coffee, heh, say that three times fast. "unless you're looking to spend tonight on edge and stretch's sofa? 'cause we can arrange that, don't even need to make a reservation.”

It took years of practice to be able to look without looking at the skill level Sans had. Actual effort had been put into it and it was oh, so worth it for a glimpse of the seething outrage that practically seeped from Red’s expression.

Might as well raise the stakes. Sans licked his fingers clean then deliberately reached up to fondle the buckle of the collar fastened securely around his cervical vertebrae, lightly tracing the shape of the heart.

Outrage cranked up to something very close to murderous, teetering on the precipice of violence. Sans hooked a finger into the narrow band and pulled the collar taut, the scrape of leather against bone just barely audible.

For an endless moment, they hung right over the edge of the cliff, one foot dangling and the other right on top of the banana peel.

Then Red hopped to his feet, muttering under his breath as he stormed over to Mandy’s bench. If he stomped with any more force he'd be leaving shoeprints in the pathway. Mandy looked wisely concerned at his approach and whatever Red said only made it worse, her already large eyes widening. Sans doubted anyone in the courtyard would notice if Asgore put in a sudden appearance, stark naked and riding a unicycle.

Oh, yeah, this was gonna be all over the Embassy in about two minutes. He gave it about five before Edge called his brother to ask what the fuck he’d done, probably to silently confirm no bodies were laying around in need of a little discreet hiding.

Welp, might as well add Mandy to the list of people who probably weren’t gonna to be stopping by for game night. Huh, what would it be like to have Red spit an apology into your lap on a nice, sunny day over your ham and swiss on rye, hocking a ‘sorry’ right into your face? It was pretty chucklicious from this side of the equation and who said math wasn’t fun?

Not that the apology was really for her, anyway. Sans would have to apologize himself later for accidentally dragging her into their kink parade, she sure hadn’t signed on to walk with the clowns. Something to look forward to, maybe he could get her a Team Veronica t-shirt made up. If she let him get close enough to hand it over, might have to just leave it on her desk.

Apology concluded, Red stomped back and Sans swore he saw the branches on the trees quivering in his wake. He flung himself back on the bench and said nothing, only made a fair attempt at withering a patch of daffodils with his glare.

Sans waited, took a sip of his cooling coffee as he counted to ten and then did it again before he said, very softly, "good boy."

Oh, honey, it was worth a hundred apologies and a thousand t-shirts to see Red’s sockets briefly close as that shiver went through him. Worth so very much more.

"hope you got plenty of sleep last night," Red said through gritted teeth, “’cause tonight you’re gonna be pretty busy singing a fuckin' midnight symphony.” Oh, fuck, yes, there were dark promises in those words, caverns-deep, miles below the surface and ready to crawl out of the depths and make Sans grateful for many layers of bedroom soundproofing.

It was a beautiful, sunny day, there was coffee, silent promises, and french fries, and Sans was more than happy to take another grateful bite.

-finis-