#skazoo

[berryunho]

hyaa!! first of all how are you? i usually comment on ao3 so this is the first time i send an ask here but this is """important""" so...

this is super random but i did the equivalent of waking up in a cold sweat while awake because i was thinking about the answer (what a shocker) and how i imagine the vibe and the aesthetic in my mind while reading it and *gasp* suddenly a mocking voice in my head went "and what if THE author is writing with something else in mind? what then bitch" and the voice proceeded to laugh at me and i was genuinely scared of asking you bc no way i was gonna be able to envision a whole different aesthetic and setting without having a crisis every time a chapter came out so i went frantically looking for something, anything to confirm my delusions and boy did i find it???? rest assured, i did. i found your linked pinterest board for the answer (love it btw) and a literal weight was lifted from my stomach and i was able to go back to the major side task of studying for my exams.

so yeah thank you for making that board and i'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense but it's 2am here and i couldn't fall asleep before writing this (which you can completely ignore btw, i understand)

love your writing byeee <3

hehe im good!!! ty for asking hehehe i hope you're well too!! please i love this ask im glad we have the same vision in mind !!! LSKJDFASDLFJSDKF imagine if i had been writing the answer w like. some completely different not-midwestern-core aesthetic in mind LIKE DESERT COMMUNE OR SOMETHING LOLLLLL LSKJDF;ASKLDJF but im glad the vibes are coming across correctly ... hehehe and ty for liking the pinterest boards they are my babies i love curating them but MWAH THANK YOU AGAIN ! <333

[skazoorecs]

i will never, NEVER stop loving the way you write. everything feels so real and raw and i usually don't really see myself in characters but please the way i cried at some passages really really broke me. i guess helplessness and hopelessness, the feeling when you can't feel anymore, the slow and tiring and long way to some sense of peace of mind, of normalcy makes it even more heartbreaking because it's life. and i don't want to get emotional or too philosophical but i feel like a lot of the things you write give people (me) a wake up call they desperately need, a look on a future that could but also cold not be. all i have to say is thank you for writing so beautifully and i'm very excited for what's to come <33

seasons out of time (c.s.) - part one

summary: the new year brings a new job that finally pays enough for you to believe that things might be getting better. in fact, it pays so much that even an idiot would be able to tell that doing anything to jeopardize it is stupid. unfortunately, falling in love with your boss’ young lover is definitely a way of jeopardizing it and also your one mistake out of many.

pairing: choi san x fem. reader

warnings: smut, cursing, mentions of depression and men being weird and creepy, death (not main characters), angst

wc: 44k words

taglist:  @stupefystudies​  @lynnsqueendom​ @nerdy-kimchi​ @ibedreaminghighupinthesky​  @harusoraa​  @yujispinkhair​ @yawnzshit​  @charreddonuts​ @pinkhanie @chnt1​ @bubbleteakittyy​ @hwamour​ @leeknowsnothing​

a/n:​ hello everyone!! welcome to another story, i hope you all enjoy the first part (have no idea when pt 2 will be coming) but before you all start reading i just want to say to literally not take anything job related, business related, law related etc in this story seriously i genuinely have zero clue about any of that and was just making up shit as i went for the purpose of the story so i don’t want to hear none of it. one the other hand, happy birthday my san, i love you very much and i hope it’s a good one! <3

moodboard // playlist // my main masterlist

part 1;

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him

(January of then)

January is always the worst month of the year.

You get a job through your friend Mingi’s friend of a friend.

The assistant of Do Jihyun e-mails you in the last week of December saying to be at the company on the first Monday of the new year, 7 a.m. sharp.

Mingi was absolutely appalled to learn that you had no knowledge on who Do Jihyun was and quickly went on a 10 minute crash-course for one of the most powerful women in South Korea the Saturday before your first day.

Keep reading

[l1xvanter]

SKZ fic recs !!

-- most of these are felix, and some of them are jisung and minho :3

-- {❤️‍🩹} = angst {💋} = mature/suggestive {💞} = fluff || pink means personal favorite !!

-- they are organized by member and word count

⟡ ᶻz﹒l.felix﹒➳﹒

should i stay or should i go? 1.6k by @sachifukyo ❤️‍🩹

take a chance 2.4k by @smuttystraykidsthoughts 💋💞

soulmates 2.8k by @writingpei 💞

23.02 4.1k by @lettersfromaphrodite 💋💞

that hufflepuff boy 5.1k by @kkami-writes 💋💞

kinktober day 5 5.7k by @dreaming-medium 💋

why does it hurt 6.7k by @skz317cb97 ❤️‍🩹💋💞

hey, hey, golden boy! 11k by @staysuki ❤️‍🩹💞

dogfight 12.1k by @bbujiikseu-archived ❤️‍🩹💋💞

matters of the head and heart 13.1k by @skzsauce01 💞

warm light at daybreak 14k by @moonflowerchanniesgirl ❤️‍🩹💞

felix navidad 16.4k by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids ❤️‍🩹💞

forgive me for what i haven’t done 17.5k by @rachalixie ❤️‍🩹

beauty and the beast 18.8k by @comet-falls ❤️‍🩹💞

lee felix’s guide to hating you 21k by @yyxgin ❤️‍🩹💞

seasons 24k by @moonjxsung ❤️‍🩹💋

aurora 21.8k by @changbunnies ❤️‍🩹💋💞

★﹒﹒l.minho﹔﹪﹒➔

call of the siren 5.7k by @tasteleeknow 💋💞

when we twisted shadows back into stars 15.3k by @skazoo ❤️‍🩹💞

out of my mind 15.6k by @luvknow ❤️‍🩹💞

swordsman 16.5k by @missinghan ❤️‍🩹💞

the enemies to lovers project 18k+by @softukiyos ❤️‍🩹💞

conflict, conceal, confess, 18.1k by @fizzydrink698 💋

in another lifetime 18.9k by @luvknow ❤️‍🩹💞

labyrinth 20k by @soobnny ❤️‍🩹💞

fields 23.5k by @hoes4lino ❤️‍🩹💞

lost in translation 26.5k by @moonjxsung ❤️‍🩹💋💞

୨୧﹑h.jisung ﹕ ‧₊˚ ⋅

on my mind 8.6k by @staytheword 💋

catfish…? 9.2k by @seungminheart 💋

sakura 12.4k by @j-0ne25 💋💞

series !! (all felix x reader) ༻*ੈ✩

happy pills by @seospicybin 18.7k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[a cute series for a quick read <3]

twin flame series by @seospicybin 31.2k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[caused emotional trauma tbh, i was crying at 2am]

fairy flowers by @hyunsvngs 36.8k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[this one is insanely fluffy and cute i liked almost died from how sweet it was]

too hot to handle series by @seospicybin 38.5k words total; finished 💋💞

[this series also has versions for leeknow, chan, han, and changbin]

off the deep end by @stayxlix 82.3k words; ongoing ❤️‍🩹💋

[words cannot begin to explain how good this series is, if you have some time and sanity to spare, please read this !!!]

bodyguard au by @skzdarlings 110k words total; finished ❤️‍🩹💋💞

[INSANELY GOOD. please read this, it also has a oneshot that goes with it. went through hell and back while reading this i was so invested.]

[maiverie]

TRIAGE! ┊ a lee heeseung series — FINALE ♡

you try to teach the nerd how to date.

synopsis: heeseung is not, by any measure, date-able. he’s dorky, he’s nerdy, and he does this weird thing where he snorts loudly every time he laughs. in fact, he loves everything that normal people are allergic to — computer science, collecting rare comic books, and birdwatching on the weekend.

given that you two have obviously nothing in common, you find yourself utterly flabbergasted when you receive a letter in your locker, on which heeseung has written, "hi. will you please teach me how to date?"

MASTERLIST HERE !

kayla’s playlist (@/miiiwaa) ♡ my shitty og playlist . tags : #.*triage .

TAGLIST

@enhyflirt @dreamyenskz @icedcoffeesunwoo @ssolari @skazoo @jjunis @heejake-en @koroktsuya @jeongwins @tinykoi-s @en-boyz @soobin-chois @blessed-sky @jhyunieee @kisswon @vbxrin @cosmicsunghoon @bloomedberry @jungwonielove @miiiwaa @jungwoniee @lhsng @missharubear @deonuism @sarahxy537 @bambisgirl @hrrhmay-primaryblog @yeonzzun @msxflower @sunsunu @jangwonie @sweetjaemss @seungstarss @tokyoflies @solelyenha @softforqiankun @goodforgyu @va1ry @taekbokki @ashxxkook @moon-gyus @jakeified @markleeisdabestdrug @wccycc @viagumi @pisss111 @outrologist @fairfairee @hiqhkey @ctrlemis

chapter five (finale)

word count: 8k | navigation: previous / MASTERLIST warnings: swearing, (verbal) bullying a/n: final chapter; thank you so much for reading this far. sorry this took so long to get to you :(

‎‎‏‏‎ ‎

‘let’s have a little talk, you dweeb.’

heeseung had been backed into a corner.

while he often liked to reserve that idiom for metaphoric effect, he means it quite literally — ryujin and taehyun had literally backed him into a corner of a bedroom with no way out.

it was obvious he had stumbled across something he shouldn’t have. 

ryujin and taehyun kissing? how disturbing.

if it were up to him, he truly wouldn’t have meddled in their business. however, the way they’re sneering at him leads him to believe that they think his actions were intentional. he wants to insist that no part of this was deliberate—that he was honestly just trying to find you—but tense silence circulates the trio and he has no inclination to speak first.

“who the fuck do you think you are?” ryujin punctuates the silence with her malice, making him inwardly wince. her hands find their way to her hips as she openly scowls with disdain. “god, you’re annoying.” 

“i-i should go,” heeseung lowers his head, scratching the nape of his neck. “i didn’t mean to intrude,” he laughs nervously in an attempt to dispel their hostility, “i was just trying to find—”

“no, you should stay.” taehyun suggests, a smirk slithering to his lips. he rolls his head around his neck before sighing contently. “you should stay and play with us.” 

play…?

heeseung physically recoils with horror, stomach twisting with unease. there’s something about taehyun’s predatory stare that flares goosebumps all the way across his arms. he realises that the most wise decision right now is to escape the enclosed space as soon as possible. 

“sorry, i-i don’t want to keep my parents waiting,” he lies, lowering his head. “they’re downstairs.”

the two exchange impish glances.

“well, we won’t be long,” ryujin stifles a laugh before taking a seat on the bed. she folds one leg over the other, leaning back with her arms propped up. “since you were creeping on us, we thought you could exchange the favour and tell us all about your girlfriend.”

“girlfriend?” heeseung blinks. he doesn’t have a girlfr— oh.

miss sunset.

you? his… girlfriend?

as if.

“oh,” heeseung dips his head shyly. “n-no, you’re mistaken. she’s, um… she’s not my girlfriend.”

if he were being honest, he was kind of hoping to change that some day.

“what, so you guys haven’t fucked yet?” ryujin bats her lashes, a playful stare in her eyes.

heeseung’s brows instantly furrow, a frown on his lips. frankly, he was a little bugged by their vulgarity and the tone used to address you. this was the same type of contempt he noticed in other people in his life — like his aunt at her wedding, who pulled him aside and cautioned that ‘girls like that are foxes, heeseung! they’re nothing but trouble.’

it shouldn't matter, because they’re all wrong.

every single one of them. 

they're wrong.

it boggles his mind that people can’t see what he sees.

then again, it can’t be helped that all the best things about you are what can’t be seen. sure, you’re so pretty that sometimes he can’t even meet your eyes properly, but you’re also warmer and kinder than you give yourself credit to be. you must not realise, but he notices the little things you do for him — like the way you clean his glasses when he places them down on the table to sleep; or the way you pretend you’re full so he can finish the rest of your lunch; or the way you scribble encouraging little notes and drawings on his textbooks when you know he has a long night of studying ahead of him. 

it boggles his mind that some people may never have the privilege of peeking behind the curtain to see that you’re warm, and funny, and kind, and caring. you embody everything that his well-fitting nickname suggests. miss sunset — a blaze of colour; an explosion of soft yellows, bright oranges, fierce reds, pearly pinks and vibrant purples. 

you’re a fiery kiss to the sky.

it’s both a shame and an honour that he’s able to keep you to himself. 

“you know she likes you, right?” ryujin smirks, erecting from the bed.

heeseung’s eyes instantly round. “wh-what?”

“yeah,” she slowly slinks toward him. “she told me.”

“r-really?”

“duh. why wouldn’t she? we’re best friends,” ryujin scoffs, arms folded. “and i know her better than anyone. we’ve known each other since we were little kids, you know.” 

heeseung notices that you don’t often talk about your relationship with ryujin and taehyun. you don’t really tell heeseung much about anything from your past, but he would certainly consider your old friendships to be the biggest elephant in the room. he doesn’t doubt that you were all once close friends, but he knows you haven’t been in contact with them for a while now. it’s obvious why, in his opinion — they’re mean-spirited people who enjoy sinking their claws into people and injecting poison.

they’re callous and vicious and hateful. they’re everything that you’re not. 

‘best friends’? he felt insulted for you.

it was like trying to hold a candle to the sun.

“what… what was she like?” heeseung can’t help but ask, his stomach doing a little flip at the thought of you as a child. he knows he should probably leave the room, but the temptation runs too deep — he wants to consume everything about you.

what did your hair look like? what did your laugh sound like? did you prefer playing outside or staying inside? what made you smile during the day and what kept you up at night?

his heart began to thump at the thought of these answers before reluctance settled in.

was it wrong to wonder these many things about you? 

was he allowed to be curious? 

would that truly be okay — given that you were a goddess and he was next to nothing?

“cute,” ryujin replies, head bobbing. “she was cute.” 

aha!

heeseung can’t help but smile profusely. “of course! i knew it,” he mumbles, blushing to himself. of course she was cute; beauty like that must have been obvious even at a young age.

ryujin’s razor-sharp stare remained. she seemed to study heeseung carefully before lowering her gaze. “she was also kind of mean, i guess,” she continued, inspecting her nails nonchalantly. “a bit of a bully.”

taehyun stifled a laugh at this, and they exchanged knowing glances as though they were indulging in an inside joke. “oh, yeah, i remember she once bullied that kid for sitting in her seat.”

bullied?

heeseung frowned, doubtful about their claims. he reminds himself that they’re both the type of people to embellish any story for their own entertainment. “you’re wrong,” he frowns. “she wouldn’t do something like that. sh-she’s not like you. she’s different.”

ryujin’s lips extend into a smile. “how well do you think you know her?”

his frown deepened. “better than you do.” 

the pair instantly burst into cacophonous laughter that seems to poison the air in the room. 

heeseung bites his bottom lip, feeling unease swirling around at the pit of his stomach. 

“really?” ryujin defies him with a raised brow. “you really think you know her that well?”

he nods slowly.

“okay,” she tilts her head, “then where is she right now?”

heeseung’s eyes flicker to the ground. he didn’t know the answer to that question, but that wasn’t indicative of anything. “well, i-i don’t know, but… she’ll be back—”

“obviously, she ditched you. she left you, heeseung, it’s something we used to do a lot. we’d invite two or three suckers to a party, get them drunk as shit, and then make them entertain us for the next few hours.” 

his eyes widened as he fell into momentary silence, forming as many rational justifications as he could. “but… i was the one who asked her to come with me. and… and you just told me that she… she likes me.”

ryujin rolled her eyes. “the only reason yuna invited you was because we thought it’d be funny. plus, don’t get me wrong — i’m sure she likes you, but don’t put any weight on that. it’s like how a person can like a helpless puppy. it’s pity; that’s all it is.”

“th-that doesn’t mean anything.” heeseung felt discomfort sprout inside his chest, branching insidiously in his lungs and up his throat. “that has nothing to do with her! she’s… she’s an angel.”

“really?” ryujin slithered over toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder, clenching it tightly to bring their faces close. “then why’d she tell us about that letter of yours?”

heeseung felt his heart drop to his feet. “wh-what?”

“the letter you left in her locker,” ryujin continued. “what did it say again? something like…” she pretended to brainstorm, tapping her chin with a finger. “oh! right… wasn’t it something like hi, will you please teach me how to date?” ryujin giggled as taehyun joined in snickering from behind.

his breathing quickened. the letter. 

you told him you never told anyone about that. 

did you lie?

maybe they’re bluffing — you wouldn’t do that. and even if you did lie, you would have definitely told heeseung afterward, right?

“the funniest part was the fact that you signed it off like the fucking virgin-loser you are. kind regards, lee heeseu—” they cackled again, this time even louder. they continued to banter with one another by echoing the contents of the letters. 

heeseung felt himself shrink. hot tears burned his eyes as he felt their humiliation pile on and on as though they were determined in hammering him into the ground. 

“oh my god,” ryujin laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. “gee, thanks for tonight’s entertainment, heeseung,” she chuckles off the rest of her amusement, “i wish i took a photo of the letter or something. so that i could share it around with—”

“no!” heeseung cried as he swallowed the lump in his throat and began to enter a swivet of panic. “d-don’t! i-i—”

“you’re shaking like a leaf!” ryujin pouts, reaching to grab his shoulder before he flinches. “it’s okay. i won’t tell anyone. unlike your girlfriend, i know how to keep secrets,” she whistled. “say, heeseung… i’m keeping a lot of secrets these days, aren’t i?” she brushed his hair with her fingers.

“even yours.”

he stopped dead, chest rising up and down as he attempted to breathe. he tried to clear his tears with rapid blinking, but it only resulted in more tears replacing the previous ones.

“don’t worry. we’ve been nice. we haven’t told her your secret yet,” she winked. 

yet?

“listen,” ryujin’s voice lowers, her finger lifting his chin so that he faces her. “i really don’t want to keep your parents waiting for too long, so i’ll say this: your girlfriend’s not a saint. she’s vicious in her own way. and if you hate us for the things we make you do, then you should hate her, too. why? because she and i are exactly the same — everything we’ve done to you, she’s done to someone else.”

“y-you’re… you’re wrong.” he turned away from her finger.

ryujin hummed once. “well, let’s face the facts.” her lips slowly lifted into a grin. “you’re alone right now, heeseung. she’s not even here. she left you. i saw her get in the car and leave just earlier. go ahead and look outside if you don’t believe me.” 

heeseung’s gaze flickered to the ground.

“but anyway,” ryujin whirls around and exchanges a smile with taehyun. “we gotta go… we wouldn’t want to stay out too late since we have an early morning, right?” she smirks. “we’ll see you tomorrow, heeseung. at the police station.”

“wh-what? why?”

“because someone ratted us out,” taehyun chimes in, eyes rolling. “so we’ll keep your secret so long as you do one more favour for us.”

you can have your puzzle back. i don't want it anymore.

“you can have your puzzle back.” your little sun says, his voice lowering into a register so low that you almost miss it. “i don’t want it anymore.”

the room remained dark as heeseung’s words hung like ghosts in dead silence.

it was deafening, the way his whisper was the softest sound you’d ever heard. you were holding your breath, fearing a reality in which i don’t want it anymore meant something beyond what you could hear at face value.

“i don’t want your stupid gift,” he croaks, burying his face in his hands, stifling a sob. “j-just… please, just leave me alone.”

finding him sitting in the dark room alone and crying made your heart shatter. it was easy to confront the idea that ryujin or taehyun had hurt him, but you weren’t equipped to face the possibility that it might have been you. the distance he was creating between the two of you allowed your inner antagonisms to fester — your chest tightened with unease, exacerbated by the pressure of fear expanding within you.

“h-heeseung,” you blurted in surprise, your throat so parched that it forced you to swallow and brace yourself for what felt like impending heartbreak. “why…”

you were so stunned that it honestly felt as though time had stopped moving for a moment. you allowed space to pour between the two of you — you let a beat pass, then two, then three, then four, and with each one that scurried by, you grew more and more apprehensive that he wasn’t going to retrace his steps. you thought there was a chance he’d backpedal his words and tell you they’d sprung from his chest in the heat of the moment, but instead, he let you soak in abject misery.

your heart sank. above everything, you were terrified — he was slipping away from you like dust between your fingertips. it wasn’t long before tears followed — they blurred your vision, no matter how many times you’d tried to dismiss them with your hands.

“h-heeseung?” you called his name softly and hoped to peel his fingers away from his face, but he flinched at your touch. in every attempt you make in closing the distance, you find that heeseung draws a line between you; each harsher than the last. he recoils at your touch, shrivels at the sound of your voice, and offers you nothing but a view of his back that shields you away. 

he was cowering from you.

it made you feel ill. sick. like the taste of bile was rising to your mouth and leaving an acidic, ghostly burn in your throat. bit by bit, your resolve was crumbling like a house of cards. 

“tell me what’s wrong,” you begged him, crouching before him on the carpet though he curled away from you. “i promise i’ll fix it, okay? i’ll fix everything.” 

“y-you can’t,” he sniffled.

you felt your throat constrict. “why not?”

“because…” heeseung finally lifted his head, and the moment your eyes locked with his bloodshot ones, it felt as though his fear, hurt, and pain ricocheted back to you tenfold and struck you like a stab to the heart. he sniffled again. “because you lied,” you saw his eyes well with tears again, “and i lied, and—” his voice became smaller. “all we do is lie to each other.”

perhaps this was what you’d always feared — that you were going to be the one to break him.

after all, you had a tendency to do precisely that. you can’t even count the number of times you’d accidentally shattered the dishes in the kitchen that your mother adored so dearly. or the number of bones you’d broken during wild dares from late nights. or the countless number of fractured friendships in your life because you never really struggled with breaking — whether they were dishes, or bones, or promises, or hearts.

was he another?

was heeseung just another one of those things you were always bound to break?

“please leave,” his voice was becoming softer, and softer, and softer, further eclipsed by his cries. you could tell he was struggling to make out his words. you could also tell that he was being honest. 

you’ve never had anyone beg you like this before.

“okay,” you whisper, tears littering the carpet. “i’ll leave.” 

unable to look at him any further, you twist on your heels. you do what you do best — you run. you run down the stairs and out the house and run and run and run, ashamed that this story has unfolded the exact way anyone could have predicted.

he hates you, you may love him, and neither of you are puzzle pieces that fit together. 

perhaps heeseung was right; perhaps you truly are sunrises and sunsets, because alike parallel lines, the two never meet. 

perhaps heeseung never taught you to heal after all. perhaps broken bones and hearts can never properly heal, the same way cuts and grazes may leave permanent scars on our bodies. perhaps your body did what it could to fix what broke, but it only took one gust of wind to retrace old scars and re-break what will always remain broken.

you’ve never been very good with your emotions.

you constantly misrepresent them. 

you smile when you’re sad, frown when you’re happy, say things you don’t mean and omit the words that you resonate deepest with. 

after the party, you cried like you have never cried before. it was a foreign, almost out-of-body experience. every emotion exploded and pierced through the thin surface they were bubbling beneath. your scathing tears had soaked everything — your eyes, your cheeks, and your pillow late through the night. the worst of it was the heaviness inside your chest that ceased to subside, one so hefty that it was the reason you felt like you were sinking to the bottom of an ocean.

it was only until the next morning that anger, the emotion you consider to be the easiest to wear, brought you the energy to pay a visit to ryujin. you were going to get the answers to all your questions. 

after all, that was what you’d learned over the years — anger is the only emotion that gets you answers.

which is why you began with ruthlessly banging your fist on her front door.

“open the door, ryujin!” you bellow.

bang! bang! bang! 

what could she have possibly said to heeseung?

bang! bang! bang! 

why? why was it that ryujin was so insistent on butting in your life?

bang! bang! bang! 

was this some form of karmic reparation? was the universe simply rescinding what should have never been yours in the first place?

you didn’t know what you were going to do. or say, for that matter. yet here you were, desperately trying to claw your way up to the surface where the sun kisses the water. to hell you were going to let this heaviness make you sink and give ryujin the satisfaction.

with no response on the other end, you began to kick the door now.

bang! bang! bang! 

“i said, open this fucking d—”

it finally swings open. 

“are you fucking nuts?” ryujin shrieks from the other side, face contorted with outrage and disbelief. she glances at the door before openly gaping at you. “what the hell? you’re going to break the fucking do—”

you waste no time in lunging toward her. you shove her with both hands, thrusting her so far behind that she lurches back and stumbles onto the floor. while sprawled on the ground, ryujin instantly snaps her head up at you and scowls. “what the fuck is wro—”

yet again, you don’t give her much time to react. you step toward her, making her scramble back before her back hits the wall. as the distance between the two of you closes, you crouch in front of her and roughly push the side of her head with a finger.

“what, ryujin?” you smirk vindictively. “did that hurt?”

her chest sharply rises heavily when she meets your icy glower. “get out.”

though she attempts to pick herself up from the floor, you harshly grip her shoulder and force her back down. you reach over and tap her cheek condescendingly, your voice now a lowly whisper. 

“how funny,” you scoff, head tilted. “i thought i told you to stay out of my life.”

she grits her teeth. “i said, get out.”

“why should i? you’re the one who keeps insisting on getting involved in my shit.” 

“you’re batshit.” she gapes at you. “is this about that dweeb?”

“his name is heeseung.” you snap at her, bunching the collar of her shirt in your fist. you yank her toward you, your other fist lifted and curled.

ryujin barks out a dry laugh when her eyes flit to the sight of your fist. “you’re going to punch me?” she snickers again in disbelief. the sight of her grin makes your fist tighten under her shirt. anger. you felt your anger simmer at cautionary temperatures and slowly branch up in your neck to your face. 

“what did you do to him?” you grit your teeth, breathing slowly to control your emotions. 

it was difficult, because you felt as though she relished at the sight of your anger. she must have recognised your most familiar emotion and felt as though you had shifted back into becoming your old self. you saw it in the way her lips curled, and the way her brows had lifted, and most notably, in the way her eyes paraded a small, tiny, starry glint that conveyed her amusement.

it made you wonder if she was doing this all intentionally. 

just to get a reaction out of you.

just to get something.

“it wasn’t exactly what we did to him,” she smirked. “it was what he did to himself, really.”

“where’s taehyun?” you reach over and slowly comb your fingers through her hair, before closing your fist and grasping a bundle of her strands, jerking her head backwards. “i want him to see your face all battered up. you know, before i beat the living shit out of him, too.” 

she sneers at you. “why don’t you ask heeseung? i’m sure he’ll know exactly where taehyun is.”

you narrow your eyes at her. “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“they’re probably together right now.”

heeseung and taehyun? together?

you scoff. “what?”

she stifles a laugh, and there it is again — that glint. like a tiny star amidst a midnight canvas. you could feel the anger grow like an inferno within you. that glint was pestering you; it was almost begging for you to reach over and extinguish it. you grip her hair harsher, this time yanking her head backward. 

she yelps as you pin her down with a glower. “tell me where.” 

she hisses at the pain of your grip on her hair and narrows her eyes. “police station, obviously,” she spat with a glare.

her eyes met yours, where your confusion must have been evident. those midnight eyes turned with patronising pity. “wow,” she remarked sarcastically. “the idiot still hasn’t told you.”

“ryujin,” you lean toward her and hiss slowly, with the intended effect that each syllable augments your hostility, “say one more thing about him and i’ll bash your skull against the cement.”

“now tell me,” you hiss, “what are they doing at the police station?” though your words appeared to be laced with composed venom, the truth remained that your heart had begun to drum. everything was coming at a surprise — you couldn’t imagine what would ever bring heeseung to a police station, though you could enumerate a thousand reasons for taehyun.

“like i said, heeseung did it to himself.” 

not satisfied with her answer, you yank her hair again and this time she attempts to strike you with her free arm, but you grab her wrist and desist her from doing so. she winces when you pull her hair tighter, prompting her to quickly open her mouth and elaborate. “okay, okay!” she cries. “he was the one who agreed to take the drug test for taehyun!”

your lips drop into a frown. “what?”

“then the police found out, okay?” she seethed. “we needed him to come in and deny everything. happy?”

you stopped in confusion. what the hell was she talking about? as you sifted through the many thoughts that raced in your mind, you finally froze when you began to comprehend the situation.

you remember now. it was that day — the day you’d first met heeseung in the school hallway, when taehyun had set his eyes upon and sunken his claws into his latest victim. 

taehyun was a drug user, and when he was finally caught by the school, he was mandated to perform probationary urine tests. he constantly evaded these tests by intimidating somebody into giving him fake samples. this was common practice, and it just so happened that heeseung was his chosen victim the day you two had first met.

heeseung never told you that.

he never told you that he went through with it.

“i mean, maybe if he’d kept his mouth shut or done a better job at peeing in a fucking cup, things wouldn’t be like this. in saying that, whose fault is it really?” ryujin rambled on, rubbing salt to the wound as your anger multiplied. “it was still fun at least. especially when we got to talk about you.” 

your hand balled into a tighter fist.

“me?” you pin her down with a dark gaze. “what the fuck did you say about me?”

she shrugs smugly. you watched as a sly smile slithered to her lips and her eyes pooled with shiny darkness. “nothing that wasn’t true.”

your heart drops to your feet.

“you know, it’s funny,” ryujin stifles a laugh, “because he denied it at first. said that you were…” she lifts her hands and uses her fingers to show quotation marks, “different.” you felt your anxiety pierce and gush into your stomach. “we laughed in his face. different, my ass. you didn’t tell him, did you? that you’re actually as much of a piece of shit as we are. he even called you an angel, you know that?”

angel.

“so we decided to set the record straight and we told him what he had the right to know.” she giggled. “you didn’t forget, did you?”

you stared.

“the letter,” she reminds you. “he was so embarrassed i think that was when he started to cry.”  

you froze.

the letter.

fuck.

you wanted nothing more than to run to heeseung and clarify the misunderstanding as best that you could. you wanted to talk to him. hold him. apologise and tell him you’d never intentionally hurt him. that it was an accident — that you lied, yes, but you just didn’t want him to feel embarrassed at that time. that it was a lapse in judgement.

but for some reason, something holds you back.

anger.

anger holds you back. 

the thing about anger is that while it may be your most familiar emotion, it is also the most paralysing of them all. and when it’s combined with resentment, it becomes insidious. the reality about anger is that it exists only in the absence of control, a dangerous condition to find yourself in.

nevertheless, you feel that way.

you feel out of control. 

helpless. angry. frustrated.

why? because that glint is still there. the gleaming, ostentatious star in her eyes that flounces around in her own delight. mocking you. 

ryujin is staring at you expectantly, anticipating your reaction.

you know that she’s waiting for you to punch her. to show her you prefer fists over words. to show her you have not changed in the slightest. everything she has done is aimed to get a rise out of you; she doesn’t care about anything else but avenging the fact you had tossed your friendship to the side — that you had tossed her aside. 

in this moment, you realise that no matter how hard you try, you know that ryujin has won. she doesn’t even need to try very hard to show you that you will never be able to change into a better person. your efforts have come to naught. even now, you are held by anger; you want it to control you — even if it means reversing everything heeseung had taught you about not acting upon your impulses; about not fighting fire with fire. 

you wonder how heeseung would react if he found out what you’d done today. that you’d allowed anger to override you and that you had already used your hands on ryujin. 

you pushed her, shoved her to the ground and pulled her hair without a second thought.

after all, you’d proven her right — you are still the same person. 

how would he react? 

these very thoughts loosen your grip on ryujin’s collar.

you slowly retract your hands from her, feeling the heaviness inside your chest gnaw at you. why are you stooping to her level? as you swallow and salvage whatever amount of sense you have left, you shake your head and slowly rise to your feet.

if heeseung saw you now, he’d probably be scared.

he’d probably see them in you.

your sudden withdrawal makes ryujin freeze. she seems taken off guard. she watches you suspiciously as you attempt to compose yourself, noticeably irked by your lack of response. “you’re… not going to hit me?” she hesitates, sitting up slowly. 

“ryujin, you and i are done.” you attempt to stabilise your shaky breaths. for some reason, focusing on heeseung helps your mind from spinning. he’s your anchor and when you use him as your moral compass, he brings the clarity you need. “for real this time.”

“what?” ryujin splutters with disbelief. she pauses, openly gawking. “what the fuck?” she scrambles to her feet and storms over toward you before abruptly shoving you into the door — the impact thunders down your spine and instantly releases a grunt from you, head spinning. 

“hit me!” she taunts you by sneering in your face. “i made your little boy cry. hit me.”

“if he wanted me to, i honestly would,” you spit at her. “you should thank him you’re not bleeding out right now.” 

she yells as you storm away from her house and it occurs to you that there’s really only one person you want to see right now.

you want to tell him that he was right.

you are different from ryujin after all.

and you will do whatever it takes to stray further and further away from being anything remotely similar.

‘you never know.’ ‘you might wake up one day and find that the sun is gone.’ ‘and then it’s like, poof — no more sunsets.’

heeseung was right.

the day you two had first met, you laughed and called him a loser for taking photos of the sunset. after all, he was attempting to immortalise something that was already a cosmic promise. 

honestly, you didn’t get it.

what was the point of taking a photo of something he could see every day?

you realise now that he was right all along – it really was possible to wake up one day and find the sun gone.

everybody just has a different idea of what the sun is to them. for you, yours disappeared when you realised heeseung was doing whatever it took to avoid you over the weekend.

your texts were left unanswered. 

calls were sent to voicemail.

he was shutting you out.

you tried to visit his house on sunday morning, but his mother faced you with a regretful smile and asked you not to come in. you didn’t know what else you could do because he seemed to close down every avenue you pursued.

you were so eager on monday morning to see him at school. you were an hour and a half early as you roamed everywhere, attempting to control your nerves. you didn’t know whether or not you should have waited at the school entrance, or by his locker, or just outside the classroom door. 

it didn't matter, because he was late. 

you were already halfway through the day when you had almost given up, though you got your first glimpse of him in days when he had finally showed up.

he looked almost as horrible as you did.

the darkness under his eyes had grown. his brown hair was fluffy and in plain disarray compared to how he usually styled it. his eyes were so puffy that it looked like he’d been crying all weekend, the same way you had. you tried to catch his eyes, but he didn’t return your gaze and instead slid into his desk quietly with his shoulders slumped.

there was a pang in your chest. his appearance made guilt expand within you. 

did you do the impossible? did you break the sun and make it rain? 

when class finished, you waited outside the door and stopped him when he tried to leave. it was only then that he finally looked back at you and you felt your heart stop. it took you all the strength to not cry, so you snaked a hand around his wrist and led the way to the school’s court garden. 

“heeseung,” you faced him when you both stopped at a quiet place inside the open garden. his gaze was affixed to the grass beneath his shoes, so you took a deep breath and let the words flow from your chest.

“heeseung, i’m so sorry for lying to you about the letter.” 

he didn’t reply.

it stung to hear silence on the other end because you weren’t used to it. you were used to heeseung’s warmth; his smiles, his laughs, and the bright stars in his eyes. instead, he seemed to have retreated back into a shell of dejection.

you gulped and fiddled with your hands. “i-i should have told you the truth. ryujin saw it, yes, but it wasn’t because i showed her. i-i just… she was there when i found it in my locker. that’s it. it’s not an excuse for lying, but i promise i would never intentionally embarrass you.”

you waited for his response and still found silence. this was when panic slowly crept up inside you. 

“i-i really fucked up when i lied to you. i just didn’t want to embarrass you, and the more time that went on, the weirder it felt to bring it up. but i should have told you the truth. i’m sorry, heeseung.”

there was a pause before he finally lifted his head.

“stop apologising,” he whispered so gently you almost missed it. 

“wh-what?”

“it was here,” he tucked his bottom lip between his teeth and roamed the area with his eyes. “i-i think it was here when you told me to stop apologising to people. you said i said sorry too much.” 

god, you felt relief in your chest, it felt nice to hear his voice again. you were worried he might never talk to you again.

as you briefly considered his answer, you glanced around and recognised the bench you two had sat on when he’d tried to confess to lia. he was right — it was exactly here that you two had your first real conversation. your stomach twisted. he always remembers everything.

“i’m really sorry for ignoring you over the weekend.” heeseung finally returned your stare, and once your eyes had met, you felt your heart squeeze at the sight of misery in his pretty eyes. you hate the sight of him like this. this must be one of the worst things you’ve ever done. you wanted nothing more than for the rain to stop and the clouds to pave way for your sunshine.

“i-i just needed some space,” he continued gently. “and actually… mom thought it was a better idea for her to take my phone, so i didn’t see your texts.”

“oh,” you replied, noticing the distant tone in his voice. “it’s okay, heeseung. i understand.”

“but, um… i did a lot of thinking,” he says, smiling weakly.

you smiled back, though trepidation edged along your nerves. “o-okay.”

his eyes diverted to the side. “i… i wasn’t sad over the weekend because of the letter. i—” you saw his eyes flicker upwards toward the sky, as though he was attempting to contain his tears. “i-i think… i was just upset because…” he bit on his lips as you watched him deliberate over his next words. your heart was beating faster and faster at the possibility this may be the last conversation you ever have with him. it was selfish, but you didn’t know if that would be manageable for you. 

because even if he didn’t need you, you needed him.

“because i didn’t tell you about taehyun,” his lips fell into a sad frown. “thing is, i… i was really embarrassed about it. and… well, i-i…” he took a deep, shaky breath.

you knew he was gathering as much courage as he could to speak with you.

“i just really, really, really hate embarrassing myself in front of the person that i like.”

he finally looked up at you and everything in you stopped. blood felt like the crackling of lightning in your veins. every other sound seemed to dull into a deafening silence.

“to clarify, th-that’s you. y-you’re the person that i like. a lot. i like you really a lot— that... doesn’t make sense,” he winced at himself, eyes shut tightly. “i’m sorry, i… i sound so stupid right now.” he slumped his shoulders. 

“heeseung, i—”

“wait. p-please let me continue,” he looked up at you through his glasses and you fell straight into his deer-like eyes.

“okay,” you whispered. “go on.” 

“i… i just want to be good enough for you,” he finally admitted and you felt everything around you crash. him? good enough for you? he already was; he was more than enough. you were the one struggling to catch up with him. “be someone you can depend on. someone you can trust and be proud of.”

“heeseung,” you step toward him and clasp his hands with yours, forcing him to look back at you. “you’re right. you really do sound stupid.”

“h-huh?” he peered up at you as you saw panic flicker like disco lights in his eyes. “i-i’m sorry, i… i just wanted to come clean and not lie to you anymore. i’m really sorry for pressuring you, i—”

“no,” you shook your head, silencing him immediately. “it’s not because of that.” 

you dropped his hands and slid yours in the spaces under his arms where you could wrap around his waist and embrace him into a tight hug. he instantly froze while you allowed yourself to melt into him, your face in his chest.

“fuck,” you mumbled against his uniform, inhaling the scent of his laundry powder. “i missed you like crazy.” 

his heart was hammering inside his chest and you squeezed yourself tighter, finding solace in the synchronicity of your beat with his. 

“two days and i felt like i was going insane,” you gripped his blazer tightly, “i… i thought you hated me.” 

“hate you? n-no way…” 

a stupidly wide smile stretched across your lips. slowly, you noticed heeseung was beginning to return your embrace. his arms slowly found their way to your back, and once they rested on your body, you allowed yourself to take a proper breath, engraving memories associated with his scent.

“i like you too, dummy,” you mumbled against the fabric. “ceaselessly. probably way more than you like me.”

“you—”

“yes, me.”

“y-you… you really like me? for real?”

when you release him, his bewildered expression makes you instantly erupt into a fit of laughter. he seems to take this as an indication that you’re messing him because of the way lips return into a point.

“are you kidding?” you scoffed playfully, grabbing his face and cradling it with both hands, his soft skin against yours. “you make it ridiculously easy to.”

“a-are you serious?” he pointed to himself, lashes batting innocently. “you really like me? me? heeseung? you like lee heeseung? you know i’m heeseung, right?”

you stare, astounded by his reaction. “you’re crazy.”

“no, i just told you i’m heeseung,” he deadpanned.

idiot. “yes, heeseung. you. i like you like crazy. it’s sickening how much i do.”

heeseung watched you expressionless for a moment before you watched his face explode with sunshine. speckles of gold dust returned to his eyes and twinkled like constellations. his smile swept his face and instantly made your heart thump out your ears. 

“you’re not lying, right? you really like me? and it’s definitely because of my bowties, right?”

you almost wanted to groan aloud and slap yourself in the face, but you stifled down this desire and shook your head instead. sickening, you thought to yourself. his sunshine is so sickeningly sweet.

and if there’s one thing about you — it’s that you have a sweet tooth; and heeseung is a taste you have been dying to have.

“yes. it’s definitely the bowties. they’re basically chick magnets,” you remarked, a smirk forming. “do you know what happens to chick magnets?”

heeseung quickly shook his head. 

you smiled. “they get devoured.”

heeseung’s brows slightly furrowed, his head tilted to the side in what appeared to be confusion. he blinked, not quite understanding your implication.

“in other words, i’m going to kiss you.” 

that, he understood. 

heeseung’s eyes instantly rounded like saucers. “h-huh?”

“i know you heard me,” you took a step toward him, circling your arms around the back of his neck to ring him in close. he blushed at the proximity, and if you were being honest, so did you.

frankly, you were more nervous than you’d thought you would be. this was the fastest and hardest you’d ever felt your heart beat; it almost threatened to leap up through your throat. 

perhaps it was because heeseung was an expert at annihilating everything you thought you knew about yourself. he was great at that: showing you that you were much further from who you thought you were, and close to who you thought you could never be. there were no more first, second, third, and fourth experiences anymore. just a life before him and after him.

when you felt his breath nearing and the heat from his chest, you thought your head spun for a moment.  it felt as though the distance between your lips were simultaneously the closest and farthest distances apart. it wasn’t until he sighed – a release of just the faintest, softest breath — that the sound swept through your chest like a hurricane, and you felt everything within you topple over.

your whole body sank forward into his and you kissed him. you shut your eyes and did what you feared most — you opened up your heart to him and let everything you had within you flow out so that he could feel every inch of your warmth and sincerity. you led the movement first, noticing the way he tried to mimic your movements. he was slow and uncertain at first, until he followed through with what felt right. 

when he began to kiss you back, it felt like fireworks shattered within you. you instantly softened when he looped his arms around your waist and hugged you tightly, because there was no safer feeling than being in his arms.

you knew it.

heeseung is good at everything he tries. 

when the kiss deepened, you thought he tasted like he fell from the clouds and the stars. like stardust and eternity and endlessness. you liked the taste of that. all you’ve ever known are temporary people, the leaving and the waiting and the hoping, so it makes all the more sense when you crumble and melt at the taste of forever and focus on carving this memory onto your soul. 

you couldn’t deny it any further — you were falling in love with him. in fact, you’d fallen down a slippery slope that led you into a pit with no way of crawling yourself out. 

when your lips pull away, you’re both panting for a proper breath. it isn’t until your eyes meet that the world stops moving and something warm ignites like a candle. 

you allowed time to pass you by as your eyes raked every feature of his face; drinking in his beauty, indulging in the rare moment you were able to admire him so closely. you felt bewitched by the way the sunlight gently radiated his features; they shone through the sky and struck him like a spotlight, even in broad daylight. being this close to him brought forward all of his prettiest, most finely drawn features – the mole on the left side of his lips, his long, wispy lashes, and the slight scrunch of his brows. 

you should’ve stopped, but you couldn’t, because he was prettier the longer you stared.

time slowed while you were slipping further and further into an enchanting spell.

falling.

you always hated that — the sensation of falling. being out of control; being helpless. but somehow, with heeseung it felt different — you were falling through time and space and the stars and the sky and everything in between. it was really beautiful. 

you’ve been falling for days and weeks and what felt like lifetime across lifetimes. you fell until it no longer felt like falling, but flying.

“heeseung, you’re really bad at kissing, you know that?” 

you felt so bad when his entire face fell and he looked at you with complete horror. “wh-what?” 

you placed a finger on his lips to keep him from talking. “since you’re so bad, i think you need a few more lessons,” you smiled. “let’s ditch school and go to back to mine. you know, for education’s sake.” you winked.

heeseung tucked his bottom lip between his teeth, smiling shyly. “o-okay.”

fin.

a/n: and then they went home and watched Star Wars :) ANYWAYS. guys u do not understand I actually went thru 32842378 cycles of frustration, anger, and giddiness while trying to wrap this series up. I'm not lying when I say I have about 6 different versions of this chapter, but I decided to keep it simple and straight to the point because ultimately that's what I felt triage was all about :) if you came here looking for genuine dating tips& got lost im sorry i can’t help u cos I'm in my healing era (subtext: literally no man wants me). but anyways I hope this series brought you a little bit of joy some way or another. I honestly had the best time writing it ^^ all the best! hope i to see u in my future works too! thanks for reading! love u so much! <3 (also feedback would be vv nice if u have the time!) MWAH

also, i’ll probably write bonus chapters every time i miss this story so lmk if u wanna be tagged in those ^^

back to masterlist.

//

[myangelhaven]

These are my recommendations of JISUNG fics! It will be updated once in a while for new stories I have read. Hopefully the links work (lemme know if it doesn't)

Credits to the authors!! All information written is taken from the authors' post and has not been modified. Reminder that some fics are NOT for minors, so please read the key and avoid 18+ contents.

HAPPY READING!!

KEY [❀]: fluff      [𖤓]: angst      [☄]: sad      [☾]:smut      [⟡]:smau      [����]: humour      [✮]: my favs 

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------JISUNG--------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

DRABBLES & SHORT FICS

ten things han jisung says when he thinks you’re asleep by @soobnny [❀]

Rule breakers by @ppiri-bahng [❀][𖤓][suggestive][pining]

reader isn’t the angel everyone thinks they are

A perfect disaster by @jae-bummer [❀]

Your bias confesses through text message while sitting next to you.

no title by @astraystayyh [❀][suggestive?]

domestic morning where they also remember  snippets of their (enemies) past.

Red-handed by @straykeedz [❀][☾][fwb] 1.2k

Han Jisung pounding into reader over the kitchen counter and getting caught by Lee Know and/or Bang Chan.

Not that innocent by @straykidshoe [❀][☾] 1.3k

Seven minutes in heaven with the music major, the [by all that mattered] rumoured virgin. You assumed that you would need to teach him how to do everything- and if not that, then leave the stuffy closet needy and wet. But what happened is much different

You're still a traitor by @skzonthebrain [𖤓][☄][nonreciprocal pining][fwb] 1.4k

"He broke the rule of not sleeping with anyone else, but you broke the rule of not falling for each other."

Back to blue by @peachiejeongin [❀][𖦹][established relationship] 1.6k NEW

Jisung messages you out of the blue one day, and before you know it, you are at the Stray Kids dorm dying his hair back to blue.

the accuracy of philosophical aphorisms by @skazoo [❀][crack][vampireau] 2.6k

ok, you're tired, but you're sure those two floating, glowing, red orbs(?) are staring right at you.

Talking body by @hyungszn [❀][𖤓][ratedM][mutualpining] 2.8k

The downfall of womankind (read: you) is a trim waist, tan skin, and a delectable belly button.

You Lose If You Get It First by @jinxhallows [❀][☾][idolau] 3.2k

The heat by @hwanghyunjinenthusiast [❀][☾][✮][aphrodisiac] 3.6k

When your roommate brings home a bag of strange cookies, you two don't think much of it. Assuming whoever sold them to him was lying about them containing an aphrodisiac. You both quickly come to realise that you were very, very incorrect.

The night we met by @jisungsjheekies [❀][𖤓][soulmateau] 3.6k

Soulmate connection: born with a tattoo of the date you first meet your soulmate - Y/N’s is 22/09/19

It's a scream, BABY! by @tyunphoria [𖤓][☾][✮][ghostface] 3.7k

when you thought you finally escaped that psycho who calls himself ghostface . . . think again. he always finds you.

Lucid dream by @changbeanie [❀][𖤓][vampireau] 4.7k

You keep on having the same dreams about the same person every night. What happens when the boy in your dreams is the new kid in town?

Resurrected by @changbeanie [❀][𖤓][☄][zombieapocalypseau] 4.2k

In the year 2193, humans are in threat of extinction. In order to preserve what is left of humanity, the government set up a sanctuary. However one day, you found yourself in one of the restricted areas. What will happen to you now? Are zombies really what people claim them to be?

Bad guy by @jl-micasea-fics [𖤓][☾][fwb] 4.4k

He’s the classic bad boy, the one you shouldn’t want but can’t get enough of. It’s only too late you realise, you should have listened to the words of warning from your brother.

Rebound by @yoongihan [❀][☾][✮] 5k

Recently broken up with and cheated on, you decide to go to your first frat party and see what is so appealing about sex with a stranger.

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄more to come!⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

☆--------Jisung's masterlist || skz masterlist---------☆

[kflixnet]

Check out our member Vee’s oneshot!

still do.

↳ choi jongho x f!reader

he couldn't stop loving you, even if he tried. and he did try for some time. it just didn't work.

length. 3.7k

genre. exes (and friends) to lovers, fluff, crack and a sprinkle of inevitable angst (i'm sorry).

warnings/tags. language, mention of death, mention of illness of a loved one, implied depression, .

networks. @kflixnet k-labels

notes. hello with another "this was supposed to be just teeth rotting fluff but somehow turned a little depressing and angsty on its own, i swear i didn't touch anything" do we see a pattern here? bc i do. i offer this lil jongho fic after sm time of absolutely nothing but i've finished my exams literally the other day, (DURING PRIDE MONTH!?!?? unacceptable) hope you like it!!

i'm desperate for feedback and i love comments with your opinion!

(cross-posted on ao3 only)

navigation

it’s a well-known fact —to your friend group, to the employees of the cafè on the way to your apartment, to the old lady that sells flowers at the corner of the big building you work at— that choi jongho not only likes you but he’s irremediably and unequivocally in love with you.

and that is still not right because jongho doesn’t just love you, no, that would be too obvious, too easy. he still loves you. 

if he goes back enough in his memories, jongho could say he’s always loved you.

he’s never been one to believe in love at first sight so when wooyoung drunkenly introduced the two of you at his birthday party, and he found himself unable to breathe let alone speak a coherent sentence to you, he immediately panicked. was he having a heart attack? a stroke? he was healthy, an athlete! how could this be happening to him!? he even made his own doctor hate him with all the panicked questions he asked the poor man on the phone but apparently, all he needed to relatively calm down was wooyoung’s loud laugh as he told him that he simply had a crush on you.

did he have a crush on you? 

you, with your beautiful smile and melodic laugh and sparkling eyes and– okay, yeah. he did have a crush on you but who wouldn’t!?

strong argument indeed, he thought.

that fateful night was only the start of a happiness he didn’t know he was able to experience.

you became friends, then best friends, then something more and then you were kissing, sleeping, and cuddling in bed together, going on cute little dates, and showing more PDA jongho ever imagined doing. 

he thought you were happy with him. navigating life with the same confused curiosity all young adults seem to innately possess.

then something happened that he couldn’t have ever predicted. and not because he wasn’t paying attention to you or because he was slacking off with his boyfriend duties, no. it came as a complete shock to everyone —you included, in a sense— because the signs just weren’t there. 

out of the blue, without notice, you broke up with him. after a year and for reasons that are still beyond his comprehension.

questions thundered into his mind asking why you had come to the heartbreaking decision, why you had sent him a ‘we need to talk’ text at 2am in the morning, and why he’d later found you at the front door of his apartment with tear-stained cheeks and puffy eyes, soft whimpers vaguely sounding like ‘sorry’ and ‘it’s not your fault’. 

if he thinks back to that night, jongho gets chills from how scared he was; holding your body to his chest, not knowing what to do or what to say, not knowing who hurt you or why you were hurting.

when he thinks back to that night —something he finds himself doing more often than his heart can take— jongho clearly remembers the silent promise he repeated in his head at least a thousand times after you went back to your apartment. a promise he’s set on keeping.

and it’s for that very promise that he now sits in the crowded cafe downtown, drinking an overrated caramel macchiato and hiding behind a book he has no interest in.

at least it’s what he tells himself. that he came to the same coffee shop you told him you’d be meeting your date at because that’s what friends do. he tells himself he’s wearing a mask and sunglasses inside because he can and will love you platonically if that’s what you need or want. jongho tells himself a lot of things and he hopes he’s strong enough to believe in them in a way that will make them reality sooner or later.

but it’s not like two booths away from him you’re faring any better.

are people outside your friend group really this boring and uninteresting? have men always been this arrogant and full of themselves? was your current ex-boyfriend the exception that proves the incredibly unfair rule? 

when you met jongho you knew you were lucky. hot college athlete with sarcasm to match yours and a badly concealed heart of pure gold? you knew you hit the jackpot. but you weren’t ready to realize that he really was one in a million men that actually put in the effort to go beyond the bare minimum.

why is it, though? 

the question threatens to break loose all the pent-up frustration this date is generously providing you with and you opt to ignore it and hide it in the back of your mind for another occasion. one that includes cheap wine, pizza, and an equally bewildered yunjin sitting on your couch with funny socks and mouth full.

for now, you only limit yourself to throwing a fake smile at the obnoxious man sitting in front of you who’s spent the entirety of this heinous date talking exclusively about himself and his crypto-currency business. 

he’s finishing what you think is a long rant about the stock market when he moves to get up.

you think you’re finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but he just lets out an annoying chuckle and looks at you with his small and pig-like patronizing eyes. “don’t worry, love. i’m not leaving you i’m just going to ‘powder my nose’, how you girlies say.” he winks and you resist the urge to gag at how… slimy he looks and feels.

as soon as he’s out of sight you let yourself slump on the small table, groaning a bit as you do so.

what were you even thinking? you tell yourself that today is going to be a well-suffered lesson for your future self: no dates with people that quote elon musk as if he’s some kind of greek philosopher.

your hands reach for the phone in your bag on their own. the last message you received was a sarcastic ‘have fun’ from wooyoung in the group chat but other than that everything is quiet, seemingly wanting to punish you for going against your friends’ advice to bail on the guy as soon as you saw him treat the barista like shit.

under the group chat, jongho’s name glares at you. 

you would be lying if you said out loud that this date didn’t have the sole purpose of distracting you from the claustrophobic guilt you’re feeling lately. 

jongho had never really cried in front of you but you swear if you could you’d erase the image of his damp eyes looking at you with confusion on that ugly night. and if you have to be honest you’d erase the encouraging but strained smiles he gives you now that you’re back at being friends too, because they don’t do anything but make you feel a shittier person than you already think you are. but maybe you deserve it. maybe this is finally going to be the occasion in which you understand that your actions have consequences.

your fingers work quicker than your brain can catch up, and before you realize it, you open again the conversation with jongho that ended before you went out and start typing.

> you: wyd?

> jjong: you’re on a date

> jjong: focus

> you: what is this an exam?

> you: nevermind this was a bad idea…

> jjong: texting me or the date?

> you: shut up

> you: the date 

> jjong: aw i’m sorry i could have told you that like,, an hour ago

> jjong: oh wait 

> jjong: i did!

another groan leaves your lips, only this time laced with a small chuckle at his antics. you mark the message as seen and throw your phone back into the bag. 

you hope other people can't see how much you miss him.

while you’re too focused on burning holes in the bathroom door from how hard you’re staring at it, dreading the moment it will open to reveal your current problem, in the loud noise of the cafe you don’t hear the heavy stomps of someone approaching you from behind. 

only when you feel two warm hands plant themselves on your shoulders and you hear a familiar voice muttering to itself something that sounds like ‘found you’, you’re forced out of your angry trance state and you’re asked to quickly choose between either your fight or flight instincts. you throw a blind punch and the person creeping up on you folds into two.

but that’s on him because who creeps on someone sitting alone at a table and touches them without making themselves known? what happened to ‘hello, what a coincidence to see you here’? what happened to manners?

you snap your head to the figure behind you and you let your panic subside but your annoyance rises.

“how– what are you doing here!?” your words come out in a hiss that makes the old couple sitting in the booth behind you turn around and look at you with judgy eyes but that doesn’t affect jongho in the slightest.

“saving you? duh.”

“who asked you that?!”

“what– Y/N, you texted me even before you met the guy, may i add. and the message said: ‘please end my suffering.’ in my book that’s a cry for help!”

he’s right but you let out an affronted huff anyway. arms crossed and lips in a pout you know is childish. “whatever.”

you feel him staring at you with a raised eyebrow and a smug smirk that you, oh so badly want to wipe off his face. 

“what?” you spat. your tone more embarrassed than you’d like to let on.

“what, what?”

“what the fuck are you smiling for?”

he throws his arms in the air exasperatedly. “am i not allowed to be happy now?”

“of course you are, it’s just… you being happy,” you air-quote to punctuate your suspicions on his current joyous disposition. “usually means wooyoung fell or someone got hurt.”

he laughs. “do you think so lowly of me, Y/N?”

“shut up.” the napkin you’ve been fidgeting with because of the irrational panic rising in your guts is now messily crumpled on the table and you groan at the whole situation. head in your hands and eyes closed. you’re so bad at this.

what happened to moving on? what happened to leaving jongho alone because he doesn’t deserve someone treating him like shit? you broke up with him supposedly to save him, but, not even three months in, and now that your mind is clearer you think it’s okay to want him back? to feel full again every time you talk about the things you did together and bask in the silence that follows with a warm knowing smile? you think it’s good to let your eyes wander to his face when you know he’s not looking, falling in love all over again? to feel your face involuntary stretch into a smile every time you spot him waiting for you outside work?

whatever your fucking problem is, you’re scared that you’ll come to find out its only solution is the person you fought so hard to push away. because what if you managed to scare away the last source of happiness you had? it’s selfish, you know, but it’s also the only thing you can think about as he looms over you; body so dangerously close to yours that you can catch the flowery perfume he always wears.

you think he’s speaking to you because his big hand is outstretched in your direction and his eyes are looking at you expectantly, with a veiled urgency.

“sorry, what?”

“i said get up and let’s go.”

“go where exactly?”

he rolls his eyes and you keep to yourself the striking resemblance he has with a spoiled child right at this moment.

“c’mon, we’re living this tinder nightmare here.”

“oh, are we?” you ask equal parts amused and curious of where this little skit of his is going.

when his deadpan expression doesn’t shift into one of his gummy smiles at your slightly annoying antics you know something impulsive and possibly embarrassing is about to happen and you know you will be the only person who will have any sort of unnecessary remorse out of the two of you.

your hands fly to your parted mouth and you hiss at him again. “are you serious!?”

he smiles.

“jongho, no.”

jongho yes, the mischievous look he throws you seems to proudly announce. 

he checks the toilet door one last time before gently grabbing your arm and not-so-gently yanking you out of the booth. a surprised squeal leaves your mouth but not a word of protest is heard from you.

“oh my god, i’m really doing this.”

his eyes are set on the door and he speaks without looking at you. “doing what?” 

“leaving someone like that while they’re in the bathroom! that’s so… i don’t know jjong, that’s so rude!”

you see his shoulder shake and you know if he were to face you right now you’d see one of his shit-eating grins. what you can’t imagine is the softness in his eyes as you call him with your nickname for him. he missed it. he misses you. painfully, completely, constantly.

his wide strides are followed by your frantic steps as he maneuvers the two of you out of the door and into the busy downtown street.

“so what? do you wanna go back in there and risk being bored to death by a guy that’s not even a quarter of what you deserve?”

“wha– no! i just–”

“then why should you feel sorry for that sad excuse of a date, uh? like, really, he took you to the most overrated place he could think of, Y/N. he didn’t even know you don’t like coffee!”

you chuckle at the frown of deep offense that blooms on his face. his lips in an affronted pout. “but that’s what the date is for, jjong. he couldn’t have possibly known.”

he stops in his tracks when he’s far away enough from the crowd in line waiting to be granted entrance to the place you just left. 

“i do, though.” an imperceptible strain to his voice as his eyes search yours in a way that’s almost desperate. “i know you don’t like coffee and that you like to sleep on the right side of the bed and that you just have to sing that ridiculous song to tie your shoes because otherwise, for some inexplicable reason i still have to understand, you can’t.”

has the world around you stopped? your ears are ringing from the deafening silence and you feel like everyone around you has stopped breathing and is waiting for you to say something to the boy in front of you who stares you down in determined distress.

“i know you, Y/N.”

you know he deserves an explanation. him more than anyone in your life. him more than yourself, even. jongho with his proverbial patience that let you cry and consoled you the whole night even after you’d told him you were breaking up with him. jongho that didn’t push or torment you with questions the days after. jongho who accepted —maybe in pure and raw self-preservation— to go back to being just friends, with tears in his eyes and a smile on his lips because that’s what you’d told him you needed at that moment. his kindness that, more often than not, you’re convinced you don’t deserve.

“i know.” you close on yourself, your arms coming to hug you tight so that he can’t see the cracks that constantly try to spread over your skin. “i know you do.” an imperceptible whisper that threatens to drown in the buzz of the busy city around you.

“then why?” his eyes are pleading and his voice is quiet when he speaks again. 

“i know i should give you time and i know you’ll tell me one day but please–” he gulps down a lump that you know he’s had for at least three months. one of worry, confusion, and guilt. one you know you gave him.

“–please, give me something. anything.”

silence.

“Y/N, please say someth–”

“my mother was sick, jongho. she still is.” the line you’ve dreaded crossing for so long is no longer a line. the wall that’s been standing in between you and everyone else now has a hole in it. 

“i was out of my mind just from the news of her condition, i– i wasn’t well mentally and physically just from that and i saw time slip through my fingers, felt every single second like a punch to the guts. i threw away all the clocks in my mother’s house, i started sleeping on the floor outside her bedroom, i– the week i told you i was busy with deadlines, we were still together, remember?” he nods, small but it’s there.

 “i spent those days obsessing over something that was not yet real. my brother had to slip me sleeping pills to let me close my eyes for even a second.” your voice cracks because the guilt you get from just looking at jongho always has to be added to the guilt you feel when seonghwa kindly asks you how you’re doing lately.

“i-i was a mess just from that and i didn’t want you to be with me when what i was scared of was going to finally become a reality. i didn’t want you to see me like that because i didn’t think it was what you deserved. and you may be unable to understand and yell at me that it had to be your choice and not mine but i still don’t think that what i did was wrong, i’m sorry.”

the apology floats in the air between you. it’s not articulate or rich but it’s the only one you can get out at the moment.

“my psychologist says– he says i’m doing better now. we agree that the worst is over but there’s this…  unknown that hangs over my head and every second that passes i don’t know if this guillotine will cut my head off or miss me by a hair.”

he just looks at you with that unreadable expression that scares you.

“i didn’t– i don’t want to go back to when the worst wasn’t over and i’m scared that if i give myself back to you i will take you down with me one way or the other.”

you don’t know what you expect him to say or do after you just vomited everything you’re constantly trying to keep hidden, on him, but his loud silence is starting to feel too heavy, unsettling.

he doesn’t feel present, his eyes unfocused and unblinking. 

he shakes his head as if to wake up from a trance and looks at you with eyes too full of love. no pity in them and you want to thank him for it.

“ba– Y/N why didn’t you tell me?”

the simple question throws you off. 

why did you do the things you did? 

why does anyone do things?

you want to cry and tell him that not everything has an explanation. not a logical one anyways.

“i don’t know, okay! i wasn’t sure how you felt! god, i didn’t know how i felt and–”

“how could i have ever felt!? we were together for more than a year, Y/N. i loved you. i still do.”

“w-what?”

he lets out a chuckle that is not mocking or mean or condescending, not one you would’ve expected from anyone else. it’s kind and soft and a little bit amused, much to your irritation.  “do you find it surprising?” 

you open your mouth to say something but he beats you to it. 

“i am in love with you, have been since the moment i saw you at that stupid party and when you told me you had to break up with me i just– Y/N, i couldn’t let you go or stop loving you, even if i tried. and believe me, i did try for some time, but it just didn’t work.” 

with tears clouding your vision you’re surprised you manage to find the time or strength to tease him. “you tried?”

and apparently, it is those two words that make him break out of the containment chamber he’s forcing himself to be trapped in. he smashes through the protective glass in true jongho fashion. a well-placed punch and the chains that kept him away from you thinking that’s what you needed, dissolve into thin air as he closes the distance, messily rushing to you and caging you in a desperate hug that steals the air from your lungs. 

you feel his hands claw at the back of your shirt and it’s the heartbreaking and deep affection that allows you to accept that you’re not difficult and you will not be. not to him, not to the people that love you.

he buries his nose in your hair, breathing you in like he wants to absorb you forever, then everything that happens next goes naturally, smoothly, following a line that was always supposed to be the one and only.

it fits perfectly. when you kiss and it's like the universe, your friend group, the employees of the cafè on the way to your apartment, the old lady that sells flowers at the corner of the big building you work at, knew it was meant to be.

you both stand with your eyes closed, embracing each other.

he wants to be a person who deserves you and whom you deserve. jongho loves you and he wants to be there, picking up your pieces, putting you together like a puzzle, taking his time. 

you sniff, looking up at him with what you hope looks like a soft expression and not some sort of a pained smile. “hi.”

“hey.” he smiles back, thumbs caressing away stray tears.

“you know that i saw you sitting there the second i stepped foot into the coffee shop. 

“you did not.”

“you were reading the book upside-down.”

he blushes but his arms tightens around you.

“i was not.”

[hydroyaksha]

Soleil’s fic recs

EXO:

Yixing- king! “The Lotus king and his jade” @sweetjekyll

Kyungsoo- hogwarts! “Spellbound” @whimsical-ness

Sehun- X-EXO! “GREED” @/quokkacore

Sehun -(X-EXO) “LIBERALITY” @quokkacore

Baekhyun - idols! “The rumors were true” @eomayas

Kyungsoo - yandere! “I love you, I love you, I love you.” (Made by me!)

STRAYKIDS - [separate link]

Chan/ Felix - polyamory! Hogwarts! “Detention” @dreamescapeswriting

Felix - demon slayer! “If you tell me about myself” @skazoo

Felix - enemies to lovers! “Strawberry kisses” @softsan

Felix - dick joke centered! CEO! “Penis heart” @staysuki

Felix - Agent! Scientist! “A normal Thursday” @abiaswreck

Hyunjin - mafia! “Ice” @healinghyunjin

Hyunjin - mafia! “Not a stranger” @straywrds

OT8 - ABO! “No control” @cherryeol04

Hyunjin - Hanahaki! (With a good ending) “forget me not” @hhjs

Bangchan - Indian performer! Idol! “Butterfly wings” @straykidshoe

Lee know - siren! “Call of the siren” @tasteleeknow

Lee know - hogwarts! “Green flames” @streetlight11

Jeongin - android! “Alive” @rainy-bangbeom

Felix - royalty! Best friends! “Fairy flowers” @hyunsvngs

Felix - bodyguard! “Your bodyguard, Felix” @skzdarlings

Jisung - ghostface! “It’s a scream baby!” @tyunphoria

Felix - dating show! “TOO HOT TO HANDLE” @seospicybin

Felix - prince! “Forgive me for what I haven’t done” @rachalixie

NCT:

OT23 - yandere! Cult! “Connect” @mymoodwriting

WAYV:

OT7 - yandere! “Awaken” @/mymoodwriting

TEN - vampire!Hunter! “Blood wars” @things-we-cant-say

LUCAS - hybrid! “Please don’t bite me” @/quokkacore

NCT127:

NCT127 - yandere! Aliens! “Who is sticker?” @/mymoodwriting

Taeyong/ Yuta - Angels! Devils! Yandere! “Watching over you” @whiteteadreams

Jaehyun - Dog hybrid! “Competitive spirit” @flowerboykun

OT9 - vampires! Witches! “Black magic” @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l

Jaehyun - hogwarts! “Head over brooms” @sehunniepotwrites

NCT DREAM:

Mark - supernatural! “grit your f*ckin’ teeth” @irtza

Haechan - yandere! “Inseparable” @mint-yoongi

Jaemin - athlete! “on the rebound” @lunena

Jaemin - “Crazy in love” @mayaflowerxs

Renjun - classmates! “Blondes are done with fun” @rrxnjun

00’ line + Mark - arcana! “Arcane” @neonacity

Haechan - hockey player! “Ice ice baby” @cozyjae

Haechan - uni! “Learning languages” @tonicandjins

NCT TOKYO:

Sungchan - superhero! “Through the webs” @yutafrita

ENHYPHEN:

ENHYPHEN - scenario! “How they’re protective over you” @foresdxw

NI-KI - scenario! Idols! “Cookies - shattered glass” @ilovehimyourhonor

JAY - bad boy! Good girl! Dancer! “Opposites attract” @dazed-hee

NI-KI spiderman! “Spider-Man loves you” @misoxhappy

TXT:

Beomgyu- hybrid! “Until it hurts a little less” @horanghoe

Beomgyu - fae! “Dasies” @thru-the-grapevine

Soobin - AI! “Artificial love” @bb-eilish

Beomgyu- Spider-Man! “Not your average boyfriend” @slytherinshua

Yeonjun- fox hybrid! “Silly fox baby” @seowhorebin

BTS:

Taehyung - Android! “A human touch” @snackhobi

SHINee:

KEY - A/B/O! “Out of love” @mymoodwriting

THE BOYZ

OT11 - android! “The boyz become human” @tbznewberry

[blueberrykenn]

Kennie's Top 10 Yearly Fic Recommendations

Okay so this is the 2nd year of me doing this (but this year I wont delete) butttt I show my top 10 fic and authors for each member/group( some members of bts repeat due to the amount of poly fics I read and its what I mainly read) (A handful of these have smut so heres your warning)

(I would also love to be your guys friends as every single one of you seems absolutely amazing)

LETS GET STARTED

10. @guqwrvte Make it Three (Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung)

Oh where do I start with this fic I found it in the spring looking for a Soulmate fic and oh boy I was in for a ride THREE SOULMATES?! ummm YES and the arcade chapter was ABSOULELY AMAZING! I hope you're doing well Author!! as this fic hasn't been updated in a while

9. @yonkimint Without You (Yoongi with a side of Hoseok or "Jay")

OHHHH BOY When I wanted a love triangle I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED I found this fic in April looking for angst and ANGST I GOT without spoiling it its a Pregnancy/ Single Mom AU and one of the best ones Ive read in a longgggg time

8. @guksthighs Bloom (Yoongi)

OH BOY This is a recent one actually. This one shot was made SIX YEARS AGO?! OMG Hanahaki AUs are one of my favorites angst type of fics so when I read this I literally sobbed like a baby I cant say much else without spoiling it

7. @kimnjss cyberslut (Yoongi), less of you/VINTAGE (Jimin), Strawberry Kisses(Jungkook)

MISS HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF MY FAVES SINCE 2019 like when I first read beside you YESS I reread Cyberslut and HAD to include it but reading less of you in June as I was dealing with my own breakup it was a tear jerker towards the end of less of you, for me I wont spoil it but there a plot twist that I was not expecting towards the end of the sequel, Vintage. BUT STRAWBERRY KISSES OH MY GAHD I read that on my way home in August even though its a SMUTTY I enjoyed it a lot and the FLUFF I think some people looked at me crazy when I took the bus home that day

6. @skazoo if you tell me about yourself( Stray Kids' Felix)

Okay here me out! Demon Slayer. Its one of my favorite manga and anime series and with CHANBIN as a hashira UMMM YES ynand chanbin are literally Genya and Sanemi if Genya was a girl and not YK (demon slayer spoiler!!) eating demons, but this 2 parter was ABSOULTELY AMAZING

5. @ugh-yoongi a word from our sponsors (Namjoon)

How do you get a idoit podcasters to not realize they have feelings but read smut YOU GET THESE TWO MFERS This one shot was sooooooo good!! like I read a lot of smut but this? TOP TEIR OF ONESHOTS OF 2023

4. @sopebubbles Bulletproof Heart (2Seok)

THIS ROLLERCOASTER If I had to describe my childhood in fanfictions this one would be one (check #1 for the other) I wont say why because spoilers but this angst was OMG THE YOONGI HATE WAS UNREAL NOT MY YOONGLES but I loved it soooooooo much

3.@jihoonotes Yearning(SVT's Woozi)

Lee Jihoon is literally my ult bias. Do I need to say more? ITS WORTH THE READ

2. @solemnreads Way Back Home(Jungkook)

THIS FIC HAD ME FUCKING EVERYWHERE with the twins to CEO Kook THE JEALOUSLY I LOVE IT by far the best exes to lovers fic I read this year

before I tell yall #1 I wanna give an honorable mention to @purpleyoonn they would be on the main list if I was done reading you complete us BUTTTT RED STRING is amazing even though there only 2 parts so far

Okay Okay this should be expected if you been here for a bit

1.@theharrowing Literally anything they write but mainly Rose Tinted Obsessions and Collateral

Boy Blue and Collateral Taehyungs literally Remained me of In between Taehyung so much that I got inspired to write in between again everything I read from them is Absolutely Amazing, Top Tier just Yes DARK FICS are literally my go to so reading them had me sooooo happy and wanting more

[marvelous-llama]

ATEEZ recs

<<original book

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

one shots

drowning by @essenteez

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 2.7k) established relationship - angst, smut, hurt/comfort Losing his best friends, the accident that ruined his basketball career, made Jongho feel like he has lost everything. Thinking he is nothing but a burden to you he tries to force you to leave him.

Only Us by @imaginidol

Jongho x reader (wc - 1k) coworkers, idol Jongho - fluff, mutual pining?

touch by @minranghae

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 4.2k) CEO!Jongho, established relationship - hurt/comfort, smut, fluff

Million Words by @justwritedreams

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 3.8k) friends to lovers, idol!Jongho - angst, fluff There are millions of words that you and Jongho haven't said to each other yet. Until now.

Good Girl by @ateezscupid

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 0.3k) established relationship? - smut

In Your Arms by @anyamaris

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 1.4k) established relationship - smut After going out with friends, you and your boyfriend share a romantic encounter.

I Want My Kisses Please by @cas-skz

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 0.9k) established relationship - smut

Flowers In The Attic by @whatsk-poppinhomies

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 2.4k) establlished relationship, idol!Jongho, insecurity - angst, fluff

zemblanity by @in-san-ity

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 23.5k) mafia AU - angst, smut, fluff Jongho could be compared to a black cat with the amount of bad luck he brings to your life. Ironic that he becomes your guard dog.

Goodnight, angel by @atiny-moon

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 3.7k) established relationship? - smut

it´s a sign! by @locallixie

Jongho x gn!reader (wc - 3.6k) friends to lovers, deaf!reader, high school AU - fluff an unexpected romance was still able to blossom despite the silence between you and him.

still do by @skazoo

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 3.7k) exes to lovers, - fluff, angst, crack he couldn't stop loving you, even if he tried. and he did try for some time. it just didn't work.

22.13 by @songmingisthighs

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 2.8k) outlaw!Jongho, detective!reader - angst, suggestive the slippery son of a bitch has been making a fool of you and your work. you were going to stop him even if it's the last thing you do because no one can make you look foolish. especially not him.

3k Followers prompt event fic by @ja3hwa

Jongho x fem!reader (wc . 5.9k) criminal?!Jongho, runaway!reader, dystopian AU - fluff, fake angst, smut Running for most of the night, you seek a safe haven from a sweet stranger. The only thing is, he wasn't such a stranger by the end of the night.

Position of power by @a-soft-hornytiny

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 3.1k) friends to lovers, CEO!Jongho - smut You find out that your childhood friend is now a CEO and demand an explanation.  

12:31 am by @minghaoslatina

Jongho x gn!reader (wc - 0.5k) friends to lovers - not quite there yet - fluff

falling and sleeping by @seonghwaddict

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 1.5k) friends to lovers - crack, fluff falling in love with you felt like falling asleep; natural and unnoticed.

Heaven´s Haven by @songmingisthighs

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 3.6k) established relationship, idol!Jongho - fluff, smut

You´re My Everything by @vampzity

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 2.7k) established relationship, idol!Jongho - fluff It’s a romantic Valentine’s Day to spend with your beloved boyfriend, Jongho. He had the entire night planned for you. A nice candlelit dinner at an exclusive club. Little did you know what was in store for you on this fine night.

Almost Natural by @k-hotchoisan

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 3.3k) best friends to lovers, mutual pining - angst(ish), fluff, smut You didn’t know when or how it even started, but you knew how it ended—in the best way possible.

series

blurred lines and lies by @yuyusuyu

Jongho x fem!reader, Yeosang x fem!reader love triangle, best friends > strangers > lovers - angst, mature (not smut), slice of life, romance you were always with yeosang, hips stuck together and hands glued to each other. he was all you knew and you were all he knew too for a while, but then you both grew up, one moving at a faster pace than the other. yeosang left you behind to awkwardly navigate the rest of an adventure—high school—without him while he embarked on a new one—college—by himself. the line of being best friends blurred somewhere along the way, and you find yourself crying on the night he promises to be someone else's because you love him. you've always loved kang yeosang ever since the days where he was trying to figure out who he was (an awkward and painful era for any teenager in middle school), loved him ever since his voice began cracking as it's tone deepened, loved him ever since he took you to that stupid and overpriced school dance in middle school despite not liking being in a huge crowd, you loved him ever since he began to become a quiet and reserved man. you hoped to be on the other side of things for once, on the other side of the line of being just best friends with kang yeosang; you realize now that it was stupid of you to ever have that sort of hope. and while you began to calm down, you wonder about what it's like being on the other side of a friendship. you don't know, but you hope to find out as you embark an adventure without him. but you didn't realize what it would it do to you and yeosang, and what it would do to you and choi jongho, your other best friend.

Love or Hate, Sweet or Spicy, Sweet / Spicy by @ihavethedreamies

Jongho x fem!reader (wc - 3.2k + 1.1k + 2.5k/3.3k) friends to lovers, mutual pining - angst, fluff, smut You have developed a strong crush on your best friend over the two years you have known him. One day, all your emotions just boil over.

[kflixnet]

A thousand apologies for the delay, but once again KFLIXNET was able to successfully carry out a beautiful event thanks to our amazing members. Without further ado, here are the submissions from 'THE EXCHANGE EVENT'!

𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐙

everything i didn't say by @woosluv ↳ this kim hongjoong work was gifted to @/carmelakimtodoroki!

for lovers who hesitate by @flwoie ↳ this jung wooyoung work was gifted to @tranquilpetrichor!

this world by @hwaightme ↳ this park seonghwa work was gifted to @/qqtxt!

a chance for love by @moontyuns ↳ this jung wooyoung work was gifted to @/woosluv!

your big baby by @alohajun ↳ this choi san work was gifted to @/hwaightme!

𝐁𝐓𝐒

anchor by @qqtxt ↳ this jeon jungkook work was gifted to @mikrokcsmos!

𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍

phone call confession by @silvermistcosmos ↳ this yang jungwon work was gifted to @cherryeoniis!

love, (not really) by @vanillelace ↳ this nishimura riki work was gifted to @/bobariki!

prince with a witch by @redm4ri ↳ this sim jaeyun work was gifted to @/luvhyun3!

home sweet heartbreak by @skyjoong ↳ this lee heeseung work was gifted to @/flwoie!

i like you not by @boba-beom ↳ this sim jaeyun work was gifted to @/alohajun!

lean on me by @bobariki ↳ this park sunghoon work was gifted to @/redm4ri!

take a break by @tranquilpetrichor this nishimura riki work was gifted to @/sultrybaby!

everything by @kmgkmg ↳ this lee heeseung work was gifted to @/dearhee!

well wishes by @haechanhues ↳ this park jongseong work was gifted to @stuck-in-hypna!

here to stay by @dearhee ↳ this sim jaeyun work was gifted to @/silvermistcosmos!

much ado about nothing by @sultrybaby ↳ this nishimura riki work was gifted to @yoongimooni!

stop being so careless, love by @chacottone ↳ this park sunghoon work was gifted to @/seung-scrittore!

𝐍𝐂𝐓

closure by @skazoo ↳ this lee taeyong work was gifted to @lebrookestore!

code love by @taem-min-archived2 ↳ this jung jaehyun work was gifted to @/chocojae!

seven signs by @chocojae ↳ this kim doyoung work was gifted to @/beautifulchris!

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

that night by @ssunnae ↳ this vernon chwe work was gifted to @/hvcmixtape!

one last time by @xfirebenderx ↳ this lee seokmin work was gifted to @/vanillelace!

dear too much by @/alohajun ↳ this xu minghao work was gifted to @sodafy!

you've never watched studio ghibli before? by @hvcmixtape ↳ this vernon chwe work was gifted to @palajae!

09:27AM by @yutafrita ↳ this kim mingyu work was gifted to @/gyuwrites!

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒

blue coffee by @byeolhyesisi ↳ this han jisung work was gifted to @jakes-tummy!

hey ji by @seung-scrittore ↳ this han jisung work was gifted to @fae-renjun!

1:22AM by @latteseungs ↳ this kim seungmin work was gifted to @amakumos!

not a shirt by @milkyruins ↳ this yang jeongin work was gifted to @hyuukais!

slow down by @carmelakimtodoroki ↳ this bang chan work was gifted to @latteseungs!

09:30 by @sulfurcosmos ↳ this bang chan work was gifted to @/milkyruins!

𝐓𝐗𝐓

late night confessions by @whatsa-bi-as ↳ this kang taehyun work was gifted to @/ssunnae!

second chances by @palajae ↳ this choi yeonjun work was gifted to @/gwynsapphire!

marry me by @/alohajun ↳ this choi beomgyu work was gifted to @/boba-beom!

take my time by @hyuukais ↳ this kang taehyun work was gifted to @/byeolhyesisi!

take me on a date by @yeokii ↳ this choi yeonjun work was gifted to @/haechanhues!

oh, to be with you by @beautifulchris ↳ this choi beomgyu work was gifted to @/moontyuns!

dunk shot! by @sodafy ↳ this huening kai work was gifted to @/yeokii!

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[k-labels]

WELCOME TO K-LABELS.

↬ @ctrlcntr, @jisungsdaydreamer, @malarign, @tnyhees, @maiverie, @skazoo, @04yangz

↬ please be sure to reblog this post once you've seen it !

↬ please put a link to the network somewhere visible on your blog

hope you enjoy your stay here at k-labels!

want to join our label? audition now.

[maiverie]

MISCONDUCT ┊ LEE HEESEUNG SMAU — CHAPTER 7.

because scammers deserve a love story too 💔

SYNOPSIS! by day, you’re a broke college student. by night, you’re a kpop reseller who scams gullible people out of their money. business is good (great, even) until your next customer lee heeseung goes into a blind rage when he discovers the jimin photocard you’ve sold him is hella fake.

WARNINGS! lots of swearing, sexual & dirty jokes / crude humor, kys/kms jokes, unhinged/unfiltered/unrealistic dumbassery, yn is a money whore, my horrible ass sense of humor, ignore timestamps pls, slow/irregular updates probably

╰┈➤ prev ┊ MASTERLIST ┊next (chapter 8)

CHAPTER 7 ꗃ IM EVERYWHERE BITCH

A/N.‏‏‎ ‎ haha…. it’s been like 9 months since the last update 💀💀 YALL IM SORRY. i’m back tho hey wassup 🤪 HSHDHAH IM SO SO SORRY FOR LEAVING THIS SMAU 😭😭💖 but here’s a quick update :> i got a new phone and lost all the pics hence the new pfps 😭 srry for the confusion!! tysm for reading :))

TAGLIST IS OPEN — send an ask, dm, or reply! :>

TAGLIST 1: @enhyflirt @dreamyenskz @icedcoffeesunwoo @ssolari @skazoo @jjunis @heejake-en @koroktsuya @tinykoi-s @en-boyz @soobin-chois @jhyunieee @kisswon @vbxrin @cosmicsunghoon @bloomedberry @jeongwins @jungwonielove @yaakultt @jungwoniee @missharubear @deonuism @sarahxy537 @bambisgirl @hrrhmay @yeonzzun @msxflower @sunsunu @jangwonie @sweetjaemss @seungstarss @tokyoflies @solelyenha @seungkwan-s @goodforgyu @va1ry @taekbokki @ashxxkook @moon-gyus @jakeified @markleeisdabestdrug @wccycc @viagumi @pissss111 @outrologist @fairfairee @hiqhkey @ctrlemis @chiyuv @lovnayeon @tobiosbbyghorl @cruelfever @roshiandia @woniesluv @fiantomartell @moonchildaera @yeongwonie @cloudykyu @sunkitsch

[latenightbotanist]

no thots, head skazoo

[gyuphorias]

mhhhhH just read dean’s list and DAMN i love me a frat boy!jeongin sm :’)))

also your writing is impeccable! glad i found your blog!

thank u so much i'm glad u enjoyed it!! welcome to the family ❤️

[skazoorecs]

TAGS I USE.

#top tier ▴ — my top favourite fics

#skazoo.angst — angst fic recs

#skazoo.fluff — fluff fic recs

#skazoo.+18 — suggestive/nsfw fic recs (includes sexual themes, violence, gore, yandere themes ecc.)

[etherealyoonghwa]

San

Minnies Ateez Recommendations

11 - ɪᴍᴘʀᴇɢɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ - ꜱᴀɴ @toxicccred

23 - ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ/ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍᴘɪᴇ - ꜱᴀɴ @toxicccred

Yes Please | WooSan @ja3hwa

Pillow Fight @ja3hwa

[B]reeding Kink @barnesbabee

Bumping Helmets @barsformars

Like A Pornstar @barnesbabee

ATEEZ San- Back to you (oneshot) @cocobeanncteez

[3:03 PM] @cocobeanncteez

OFFICER 》C. San @pirateprincessblog

i wanna sit on sans face he has the perfect face for it too like dear god @sluttywonwoo

By Your Side || cs @mimikookie

All the Good girls go to hell & pt2 @felixsramen

His Princess @hwalloween

Dumb and Dumber woosan @kpop-hive

threeway all the way woosan @xenizaation

𝘼𝙡𝙡 𝙈𝙞𝙣𝙚 @hongjoongsblog

Good luck kiss @ateezlovely

Dingo @ateezinmymind

teach me @nari-nim

[8:56 pm] @sage-space

Feed Me @heyitsmerose

[8:09pm] @mingishoe

𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐞 & part 2 @dulceateez

Wingin’ It- MASTERLIST @seokjinsdisciple

Boiling Point @shinescape

demon days @agustdiv1ne

[9:01pm] @spinster-sisters

𝚂𝚎𝚡 𝚃𝚊𝚙𝚎 @latte-fairytaekwoon

[3:28 PM] @crimsonbubble

IDOL LIFE MASTERLIST @at1nys-blog

Darling, Dance for Me? @moonchildsaurora

Little things @vocalyunho

7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN @j4emcore

[5:28pm] @atinydise

No Harm List @sugar-kisser

Stay the Night @babykpopsweets

camera shy @moncherifaerie

Morning Surprises @the-wonandonly

S A N ⟺ enemies to lovers au @atinybitofau

tease - khj x reader x cs @hongism

Acquainted (M) @serendipityunho

best friend's brother @urfavoritevampire

riding san @ateezscupid

heat waves. @skazoo

Work place antics San & Hongjoong @ateezreactionsandscenarios