#skam france imagine

[youngfcs]

— Madelaine Petsch + Maxence Danet-Fauvel | crackship.

Requested by Anonymous

[bitching-barista]

Tbh it was a missed opportunity that heartstopper didn’t get the actors who played Lucas and Elliot in skam france to do a cameo when they went to Paris

[drowsyanddazed]

Jade you watch Druck? I’m screaming, what’s your favorite season?

hi! yes!! my favorite season is season 3 (my favorite in most of the remakes lol) but second favorite is 7/isi (partly bc i rlly love sascha, i think he’s my favorite character in the whole thing). idk if this is an unpopular opinion but third favorite: season 5/nora. i think the writing was the best of all the new gen druck

do wanna mention though i rlly wanted to love season 6/fatou, i saw advertising for it and that’s why i started watching the new gen druck in the first place, but i think maybe i went in with too many expectations? i felt like the pacing was a bit off & while fatou and kieu my had good chemistry, i wish they had more on screen time and they communicated better, probably fourth favorite? (ik you asked for my favorite but i’m giving you up to four <3) put more wlw in skam!!

[theaceoftales]

Ace of the Week #1: Maël Le Gall

Introduction to the Character:

Maël Le Gall is a character from SKAM France. He first appears in Season 11, before becoming the central character of Season 12 (SKAM France's final season).

He is a high school student who struggles with carving his own place in the world - consistently going along with the expectations of the different groups of people in his life. However, without knowledge of what asexuality is, his failed attempts at intimacy with his girlfriend made him fear dysfunction, impotence, and brokenness. We as viewers get to join him on his journey of accepting his asexuality, engaging with his passion for music, and surrounding himself with accepting people.

For many of you, I'd imagine this is your first time hearing about Maël. For some, maybe even your first time hearing about asexuality.

Stay tuned this week for more posts all about Maël (and in future weeks about other characters)!

Key Definitions for Easy Context:

Asexuality: A sexual orientation in which someone feels little to no sexual attraction for others.

Sexual Attraction: When you find someone else attractive in such a way that makes you want to be sexually intimate with them.

Credit goes to @skamfr2021 for these clips and subtitles. Thank you so much!

And make sure to check out All of SKAM for a comprehensive guide to the international SKAM franchise, including info on where to watch and find translations of the episodes and other franchise materials!

[skambigbang]

Today we're featuring "From the Earth into History" by @itsjamethyst with art by polaris.artworks and @beanawake!

JAmethyst: What inspired this story?

My inspiration for this fic was actually the Great Gatsby. A world of opulence, Old Money, and the struggles of the working class. A modern twist of 1920's art, parties, liberation, and decadence. Mixed with the themes we know and love from SKAM France.

Polaris.Artworks: What inspires you about this story?

I like how the setting is on a cruise ship and it shows a different side of Eliott. The story is written in a beautiful and artistic manner.

BeanAwake: What inspires you about this story?

The story’s intrigue really captures my imagination, and I do enjoy a down and out Lucas not letting anything bring him down.

The 2023 Skam Big Bang is almost here!

[sherrymagic]

For the QL asks: 5, 18 & 20. Thank you! 💜💜

thank you so much Jane for these, had a lot of fun (especially with number 18, was hoping someone would ask for that one aaaaa) 🩷

5. Who is the Asian ql villain you most love to hate?

one of the very few villains that i actually hate, and i love to hate him because he makes sense, he feels like he's well written, nuanced in his story villain nature, and that's what makes the hate so strong and real. i can see what he's doing and why and he still manages to surprise me with his behavior while still totally seeing where it's coming from, so i can hate him for the reasons i love to hate on a character for. also Mek is hot and funny which helps with the love part of this hdbsnsm

18. You get to pick a side character from two different qls to put in a show as a main pairing--who are you choosing and what kind of story is it?

had at least 4 options here but i'll keep the others in case anyone else asks for this question and i choose to go with a gl crackship that's totally not based on the way my souls craves for a CiizeEarn pairing in a lesbian romcom

SOOOO i would love for Charoen to finally get rid of Ton's obnoxious presence and go to a college fair where surprise suprise there's this girl that she initially mistakes for her friend's sister Alpha because they look so much alike (always hated the doppelganger trope but this is different because i say so) but quickly realizes it's not her. Charoen wants to choose a practical major or maybe religious/esoteric related one with the thought of following up her own family's footsteps but finds it hard to leave the art stand being somewhat enchanted by Fai's presence. the two of them end up talking at the end of the fair and Charoen expresses interest in the art major despite never taking it into proper consideration before. time goes by and she doesn't really see Fai again but she keeps often resurfacing in her mind until she starts college herself and despoite going for some other faculty she still chose the same university just because she wanted to geta chance to see her again. they actually do meet again and Fai is very busy with third year stuff and always tired but still manages to give her her support every time they meet. Charoen ends up signing up for some art related club that Fai is hosting at university, they spend more and more time together for some project related to decorating the uni or making a mural or something, the point is whatever this club is doing should lead to the gl version of the Elu (Skam France) paint scene. for reference, this is what i'm talking about:

lesbians making out covered in paint, can you imagine that?? no clear idea about the conflict but canon 23.5 told us Charoen is in the bi/pan spectrum while Fai so far had no indication reguarding not being straight, so there could be either family drama or gay crisis involved. all i know it's romcom shaped with some angsty but not too heavy parts, girls being pretty criers, fights on empty streets at night, almost breakup, and super happy ending. meaningful cameos of 23.5 and We Are characters are well accepted in this imaginary show.

20. We are retelling your favorite Asian ql from the POV of a side character--who is taking over the story and what do they have to say about the mains?

this one is hard because i don't even know which one my fave would be? the one i would ove the most to be retold in another character's perspective would be Only Friends but i wouldn't call that one a fave of mine lmao. so of the ones within my faves list... Not Me would be interesting from my favorite bitch boy Todd's pov, for the way the show was built i've always felt like they could have showed and say more about him. a ToddBlack past romance that the main characters from the original show never knew about would also fit. the novel isn't really helping with forming an idea here because reading that one revealed that the show surprisingly did a lot of things better queer erasure aside so... i'm leaving this at that bsdsnskd

— Asian QL Ask Game ♡

[randomshyperson]

https://www.tumblr.com/randomshyperson/734896904001961984/httpswwwtumblrcomrandomshyperson734623074843?source=share

Hiii, ik it's been a while sorry about that pooks but I watched it, they're so cute, Bobbie is so pretty I'm gay lol, and honestly same I haven't watched all of them bc I mostly watch the wlw seasons sorry not sorry, but Evak season it's just so good also I love how the use social media I think that's one of my favorites things, abt the vilde/Nora season oml actually that was the only one I watched besides the gays, but I genuinely don't like the Nora and other guy relationship it's so icky I'm sorry, and vilde is so cute I'm sorry I forget the name in Spanish I'm so bad with names, also the special clips with Joana that last season ate fr, and I too have beef with skam France 😒 and about the new fic

Ok so maybe I'm a bit dumb, but are we dead on the WandaVision fics, bc most of the time, I like to believe we for some reason, situation, circumstance we just grew apart yk, bc it's too sad to imagine we're actually dead, unless the fic very specifically says so, but, I want to know what you say dear author

-🐜

Oh my god, I love talking about Skam so it's your fault I got carried away and this got long.

YES, Nell Cattrysse (Bobbie) is insanely beautiful, both girls are in fact but that's no surprise because Skam has a talent for finding these supermodels for their roles, I remember seeing the Norwegian version as a teenager and being speechless at how beautiful Noora was. But anyway, I'm glad you liked the seasons!! I love knowing that someone else liked it, because it's my favorite series ever and I don't have any friends who watch it to talk about it. I can't judge you for going for the gays seasons, I think you're absolutely right actually. Time is precious and we must always prioritize queers' narratives. In the Spanish version, I think it was the intention that the couple (Nora and the toxic guy whose I don't remember name) gave us the ick, she would only be with Alejandro (the William of this version) at the end, and I heard something about the directors having decided on the narrative of an abusive relationship for Nora precisely because Norway William was toxic and the relationship was not well worked on. It was a dig at the original, I would say. In the end, none of the straight couples really interest me in almost any version. For me, the best Vilde to date is from NL Skam, she was very sweet and I feel so bad that she never got her own season. Druck's Vilde (Kiki) has the most striking personality and was very shippable with Mia (Noora in this version). MY BABY JOANA I HAVE NOTHING BUT PRAISES ABOUT HER - I can hardly believe she had a happy ending that didn't ignore the difficulties of her illness. And she was so beautiful in the extra scenes, it was so special. And I think we all have problems with Skam France, right? I still can't believe that of all the couples, the sapphics were the ones they separated. It was really frustrating. Good thing fanfics exist.

NOW SPEAKING OF WANDA -

I didn't think of an exact plot for these rewritten scenes; they are just one-shots really. Reader replaces Vision in the story and that's it - In one of them I mention that Reader is on the other side of the world being stitched back together giving the idea that the original was really dead but I didn't really think about any plot. We can pretend that Y/N is a representation of Wanda's love and grief created by the stone as Vision was, it is really the choice of whoever is reading. If I'm ever going to do a series about Wandavison, I'll definitely start from scratch and ignore these ones haha

now this is too long so byee <3

[reggies-fake-horcrux]

hello! you do not know me however i'm asking as a random fellow rosekiller fan - have you seen skam france? if so have you heard of eliott and lucas? because i swear they are my favorite age appropriate fancasts for barty and evan but i know no one else who share that opinion ~ very random but yes! let me know what you think as i traverse ao3 trying to find an m rosekiller main ship fic apart from the four that i have seen :)

I have seen skam France actually!! it was so cute, I only watched it for Elliot and Lucas honestly, I didn't watch the other seasons. I know that maxence is a really popular fancast for barty, I'm not certain how I feel about it but I have a hard time imagining the characters at all so I'm not the best person to ask LMAO. as for rosekiller main books, the main ones I can think of is I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you and a truthful joke. you can always check my ao3 though, @ sigme7, I have a ton of stuff bookmarked there!!

[bizarrelittlemew]

SKAM!!!! Omg I love skam so much!!!! 🥹

I hope you know that like a ton of different versions exist for it, each for their own country, like Skam France and Skam Germany, each with their own little twist. I was obsessed with it back in the day!

(btw this is dream anon again hi. again sry for the false alarm premonition dream 😔 maybe next time)

me too 😭 only watched the original/norwegian since it was really big here 😌 (neighbor country ✌️ and quite similar languages so reading the text message updates/social media posts as they came out was no problem)

it's one of those shows i still re-watch regularly 💗💗💗 and i need isak and even's upside down kiss to happen in ofmd ok it's the best explanation i can imagine for the s2 poster 🤸

[ao3feed-sobbe]

We Can Make No Anthem

by Prevalent_Masters

The old Sander Driesen could not imagine war. He could not imagine death. He could not imagine this fight lasting longer than a few months, even as the Germans overwhelmed them, even as he loaded a gun with inexperienced, fumbling hands, even as he shot it over and over again, even as he watched men die around him and his city go up in flames. He could not imagine what would come as he walked through rain and mud with the remains of his division west to the IJzer. He could not imagine what would come even after that first true battle, sunk down in trenches for two weeks straight, peppered by machine gun fire and shrapnel, awake for days at a time and walking over, sitting on, tripping over, shitting on corpses–even then. Even then. The mind cannot wrap itself around such horrors. Sometimes, instead, it simply breaks apart.

Words: 9633, Chapters: 3/16, Language: English

Fandoms: WTFock | SKAM (Belgium)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Sander Driesen, Robbe IJzermans, Yasmina Ait Omar, Jens Stoffels, Moyo Makadi, Zoë Loockx, Senne De Smet, Milan Hendrickx, Jana Ackermans, Aaron Jacobs (WTFock), literally every named character in wtfock and several from other skamversus show up in this, Guest Starring:, half of the skam nl and skam france casts, allusions to druck characters, and a single italian

Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans

Additional Tags: World War I, Alternate Universe - World War I, major character death is not the main pairing, Graphic Violence, Blood and Injury, War, Illness, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Racism, Mental Health Issues, Bipolar Disorder, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Spies & Secret Agents

from AO3 works tagged 'Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans' https://ift.tt/rwFVciv via IFTTT

[bi-bard]

I Wanna Love You 'Till We're Food for the Worms to Eat - Arthur Broussard Imagine (SKAM France)

Title: I Wanna Love You 'Till We're Food for the Worms to Eat

Pairing: Arthur Broussard X Reader

Based On: Everywhere, Everything

Word Count: 1,047 words

Warning(s): mentions of being overwhelmed

Summary: (Y/n) and Arthur were almost attached at the hip. What they saw as friendship was seen very differently by everyone around them. It took years for them to even consider that there may be more between them.

Author's Note: It has been so long since I've written for this character. I've been saying that a lot lately, haven't I?

STICK SEASON - NOAH KAHAN WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

------------------------

I had mixed feelings about lying in silence with my thoughts.

There were times when it would be great. A time to sort through any confusion or anger. I could find my way through all sorts of problems that way.

Other times were hell. When problem-solving became fixating and I found myself dwelling on mistakes I had made. I didn't have any power over whatever stress I had.

I heard my phone buzzing. It was a collection of texts. I didn't want to answer it. As much as I despised the silence at that moment, the idea of having to explain myself made me sick to my stomach.

My phone stopped for a little while. And then, I heard someone knocking on my door. I groaned a bit, running my hands over my face.

My phone buzzed a few moments later.

It didn't take much for me to realize the sounds were connected. I reached over and checked the message.

Arthur: I'm at your door. Let me in.

I unlocked my phone and looked over the texts that he had sent me.

It was a mix of questions about if I was okay and messages about how he was going to stop by. I knew why he was worried. I had ignored him through the end of the day. It was wrong, I knew that. I had just been so stuck in my thoughts that it didn't really click until I got home.

Another message came through and I finally relented, sighing and pushing myself off my bed.

I paused right by the door, handing resting on the doorknob for a moment before pulling the door open. Arthur paused whatever message he was frantically typing when he heard the door open.

"There you are," he said, stepping forward and hugging me.

I expected a thousand questions surrounding what had happened and why I ignored him. I was already preparing answers in my mind, hoping to avoid the additional stress in the long run.

But as I hugged him back, there was only one question, "Are you okay?"

I stepped back slowly, nodding to him.

He closed my front door as I walked over to my couch and sat down. He sat down next to me, frowning a bit at my silence.

"Do you want to talk about it," he asked. I shook my head. "Okay."

"Sorry," I muttered. I ran my hands over my face again. "It's just... it's been a long week. I needed time to myself. I thought I did... it didn't help much."

I always did that. Withdrew when I got overwhelmed. Part of why Arthur was my best friend was because he seemed to fight it. He got too worried to leave me on my own unless I asked. Even then he would send me messages to check in every couple of hours.

I remember my friends digging into that pattern. They would constantly say that there was so much more there than there was. Arthur was my friend. My best friend. And that was all there was to it.

And that was all I would tell them.

"Is there anything you need," Arthur asked. I shook my head. "Are you sure? I could make you something. Or just get some water-"

"Arthur," I touched his arm. "I'm alright."

He slowly nodded and relaxed a bit more.

I grinned a bit.

I wouldn't really mind having more with him. I had thought about it more than I would care to admit. It wouldn't be all that different. Just more affectionate. My skin would sometimes feel like it was begging for someone to just hold me. Having that be Arthur, someone that I knew and cared about, would be the best-case scenario.

Without much thought, I shifted so my head was resting on Arthur's shoulder. He reached out and touched my knee. Silent support when I needed it.

I'm not sure how long we sat there. I just knew the longer we did, the more certain I was that I didn't mind going through such rough moments if Arthur was waiting on the other side of them. I looked at the hand on my leg. I wanted to reach out and intertwine our fingers. I was just too scared to do it.

So, I forced myself to keep my hands in my lap. I picked at the skin around my nails instead of holding his hand like I wanted to.

"Thank you," I mumbled. "For showing up. You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did," he replied. I moved my head, so my chin was resting on his shoulder.

"Why?"

He hummed.

"Why did you have to?"

"Because I care about you," he answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I want to know that you're okay. Take care of you."

I grinned to myself.

I moved back a bit. I shifted enough that I could be face-to-face with him. He grinned at me softly. I took a moment to let my eyes bounce around his face; from eyes to cheekbones to nose to forehead to lips.

I took a deep breath before leaning forward and pressing my lips to his.

It was short and sweet and awkward. I started pulling back almost as soon as Arthur started kissing me back. He blinked at me slowly, seemingly stunned by what I had done. I bit back a chuckle at his expression.

"Woah," he muttered.

I couldn't hold back the chuckle at that one.

"Would it sound stupid to say that I've been waiting for years to do that," he asked.

I shook my head. "No... because I have been too."

He smiled at me before leaning over and kissing me again. I placed my hands on his shoulders as I kissed him back. It was like the air around us settled. I hadn't even noticed any tension or awkwardness, but I suddenly felt more relaxed. Like pieces of a puzzle were finally coming together to show the bigger picture.

I knew right then that I could spend forever like that. In that state of happiness. Of loving and being loved.

And I allowed myself to believe that Arthur thought that too.

Silence didn't need to be spent alone anymore.

------------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

[youngfcs]

[ MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL + KRISTINE FROSETH ]

Requested by anonymous

[peterpparkrr]

Skam Masterlist

William Magnusson x Reader

Honesty is the best policy

Eva Mohn x Reader

Do you want to make out? (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Jonas Vasquez x Reader

Just dance with me

William and P Chris x Reader

Headcanons for being best friends with William and Chris as a gay girl

Yousef Acar x Reader

Fake Boyfriend

Elias Bakkoush x Reader

The start of something

Isak and Even x Reader

Evak’s Best Friend Headcanons

Chris Schistad x Reader

I’m not telling you

You can’t like him

Parenting Headcanons (Magnusson!Reader)

Skam France

Manon Demissy x Daphne Lecomte

Are you a lesbian?

Charles Munier x Reader

Out of Options

peterpparkr’s Masterlist

[skambigbang]

Next up: "The Breaking of a Neutral" by onyourradar with art by our artist mod @rockingrinske ! Not just Elu goodness, other skamverse evaks make an appearance too! If you can't wait, check out the back catalog of BB writers on A03!

Onyourradar: What inspired this story?

The thought of showing your love language through the smallest actions, stitching love together, mending the problems. Plus I wanted to try and write action. I'm learning that I'm horrible at it. And I'm okay with this.

You_Can_Call_Me_Katy: What inspires you about the fic?

Firstly, I love SKAM France, it's my favourite remake. But what really pulled me was the story of Lucas being a tailor (I'm a weaver, and I sew too!). Combine that with Eliott as a mob boss (who doesn't love bad boys?) and characters from other SKAM universes making an appearance, yes please! Also, Lucas's old French shop, I immediately imagined what it would look like.

The Skam Big Bang starts June 21st!

[starryhedgehog]

i knew you, remember?

summary: what happens when Eliott Demaury doesn’t even remember his name?

amnesia!au

pairing: elu

word count: 1628

genre: angst (now) --> fluff (later)

part 1

a/n : hello everyone!  i had this sitting in my google docs for months (hence there may be grammar errors), and i think this is probably going to be the last fic i upload on this blog.  it’s a series, i have most of it written out, and i hope you enjoy!  

- - 

Lucas pushes the photo album in front of Eliott, his fingers dusted with crumbs of the stale sort of speculoo biscuit only given out at the front desks of hospitals.  “And this is your favorite place.  You like to go here when you need to be alone.”  He points to another photo, a polaroid, more specifically, and it's one of Eliott’s many dubstep vinyls, maybe even the exact one Eliott played on that first day Lucas came over.  “And this is dubstep.  Your favorite.  You made me listen to it when we first met, and it was terrible.”

Eliott cracks a smile, and he’s still so perfect in the room, still so utterly ethereal, even with hospital light blinding translucent streaks through his dark hair and the unruly look stretching across his face because god, he’s probably exhausted.  “So why’d you keep listening, hm?”

Lucas swallows, and he feels his heart physically jump up into his throat.  “Because you liked it.”  Lucas is straggling in a state of disarray, and he swears he can feel the little molecules in his chest expanding and shrinking, almost like he’s shifting and freezing and melting into all different states of matter because nothing feels right.  This isn’t right.  Lucas settles with slowly pointing to the photo on the next page, his finger wobbling.  “And this is the common room.”  He pauses, some part of him hoping Eliott will jump in and piece things together.  But he doesn’t, and Lucas hurries to fill the silence that’s filled between them.  “We worked on this mural together.”  He has to stop.  “We ... ”

“So,” Eliott says, finally, sounding out the words.  He looks at Lucas with those eyes, so beautiful and stunning and full of life that Lucas always feels like he’s teetering at the edge of mischief and wonder, “were we together?  Like, were you my boyfriend?”

Lucas aches.  “Yeah.”  His throat tightens, and he feels the familiar prick at the back of his eyes.  Stop it, he thinks, biting his tongue.  He’s not going to cry.  “I mean, we were dating,” Lucas corrects himself, and the words seem to tear at the little dignity he has left.  It’s so embarrassing, sitting here in front of Eliott, staring at Eliott with eyes he knows are full of yearning, and hope, and most of all sadness.  “I don’t want to pressure you into anything right now.”

“You wouldn’t.  I know you wouldn’t,” Eliott says quickly, and Lucas’s gaze snaps up.  Because maybe, maybe Eliott might remember.

Lucas has to physically bite his lips together to stop himself from saying anything stupid, and he nods stiffly, trying to appear inconspicuous.  But it doesn’t work.  There’s still stupid hope blinding his thinking, and right now, the only thing existing in Lucas’ mind is the notion that maybe, one more time, one more photo might do the trick.

He’s spoken too soon.

“I’m really sorry --”

“No!  No worries,” Lucas blurts out, his voice far too eager for what Eliott’s just said.  But the thing is, Lucas doesn’t care.  He really doesn’t give a shit about what Eliott’s going to say, just wants Eliott to keep talking.  He just wants things to go back to normal again.

Yet the half-smile that barely flits across Eliott’s gaze is a different sort of smile, one that’s hesitant and nearly regretful.  “This is going to make me sound like such an ass,” Eliott says, and this time Lucas hears the sadness in his voice.  “But, what was your name again?  There’s so much, and I can’t … I can’t remember.  Sorry.”

Lucas stops breathing.  Every memory of Eliott starts pressing at his skull, flashing incandescent and neon in his mind.

But instead of working through it, like he’s supposed to, his cheeks flush bright red and he drops Eliott’s gaze, staring hard at the speculoo wrapper clenched in between his fingertips.  “I need to go.”

Eliott’s hand reaches out to grab Lucas’ wrist.  “Wait.”

Eliott’s touch sends all sorts of feelings rushing through Lucas, and Lucas slumps back into his chair, his eyes dazed and confused, and oh, so sad.

“You’re so familiar,” Eliott begins, blinking, “or maybe it feels like you should be familiar.  But I don’t remember you at all.”

Ouch.

“That’s probably for the best.”  Lucas abruptly stands up from his seat, biting at his lower lip.  “I can’t do this.  Not right now.”

“Eliott,” Eliott offers, and he opens his palms on the table as if he wishes there were something he could give to Lucas.  “I’m Eliott.”

Lucas’s lip trembles in between his teeth.  He remembers Eliott at the bus stop, smoking a cigarette in the early nighttime.  He remembers chocolate bars and chelou, remembers everything.  He remembers Eliott saying those same exact words.

Eliott.  I’m Eliott.

“Lucas,” Lucas blurts out.  “And I know.”

Eliott mouths his name, then nods and quirks his lips into a half smile.  “If it means anything,” Eliott starts, shrugging his shoulders bashfully, “I can see why I liked you.”

Lucas freezes.  He’s biting the inside of his cheek so hard he thinks he might draw blood, and tries to keep his eyes trained on his shoes.  But Eliott’s right there, and he feels like the same Eliott, and Lucas lets his gaze travel up.  He stares at Eliott for a moment, eyes tracing over Eliott’s cheekbones, the curve of his nose, and Lucas blinks.  

“Sorry,” Lucas whispers, clutching his hands tightly.  “I thought,” he shakes his head, already walking out the room.  He can’t do this.

“Lucas?”

Lucas rushes out of the room and everything hurts.  He can’t believe he’s leaving Eliott, he can’t believe he’s leaving Eliott in that terrible room with the god-awful lighting, and the windows that are far too small for an artist like Eliott to even stand, and he feels his throat start to sting as he remembers the gauze wrapped tightly around Eliott’s left forearm.

Lucas slams himself against the wall, his head hitting against the plaster.  He stares up at the white lights, the brightness burning small dots in the corner of his vision, and he shuts his eyes, digging his nails into his palms.

A nurse passes by and sees Lucas standing there.  She’s pushing an older woman in a wheelchair, a clipboard grasped loosely between her right arm.  “Good morning,” she says, kindly.  

Lucas takes a deep breath and forces himself to smile.  He watches as he sees countless doors open and close with people walking in and out.  He could just leave Eliott here, he could easily just go back to his apartment and cry.  But he can’t leave Eliott.  Not like this, not alone.

So Lucas grits his teeth and walks right back to Eliott’s door.  He stands outside for a moment, taking a second to watch the outline of Eliott through the notched glass.  Then he knocks quickly, turning the doorknob to step back inside.

Eliott doesn’t look up at first, he’s too engrossed in the empty seat across from him.  The seat where Lucas was sitting, until a few moments ago.

Lucas clears his throat.  Eliott blankly looks up, then does a double take; his eyes widen and a tentative smile graces its way across his lips.

“You’re back?”

Lucas shifts in his stance.  “Yeah.  I was rude.”  He sticks his hands in his pockets, looking decently ashamed.  “Sorry.”

Eliott laughs, and it’s surprising.  “It’s fine.  You came back, so.”

Lucas shrugs awkwardly.  “I just wanted to tell you that I’m going to go now.”

“Okay.  I’ll be here.”

Lucas doesn’t have the energy to laugh.  He’s so exhausted.  But he looks down, and he can’t help the words that blurt from his mouth.  “So could you?”

“Could I what?”

“Ever like me.”

Eliott tilts his head, his gaze rooting Lucas to the spot.  There’s something conflicting in Eliott’s eyes, and Lucas wishes things were different.

“It’s fine,” Lucas whispers, voice catching.  “That was stupid.  I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“I don’t know,” Eliott says.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lucas repeats, determined to forget what he’d just said.

Lucas doesn’t wait for Eliott’s reaction.  He walks out the room again, forcing himself to not look back.  As he clenches the railing of the elevator, he sticks his headphones in and blindly realizes that he’s nodding his head to the beat of soft dubstep, and he quickly tugs the headphones from his ears.  Staring hard at the floor is the only option right now; it’s all he can do to not break down right then and there.

The elevator buttons glow a soft gold, and then the floor number grits from the speaker in a dulcet tone; Lucas walks out as a bell rings and the doors slide open.  His eyes catch on a vase of sunflowers in the waiting room, all morning glory and warm yellow, and Lucas’s ribs ache.

They’re Eliott’s favorite flowers.  And today they’re not just sunflowers.  They’re also warm yellow overtones from before, when Eliott hadn’t been like this.  When the only problem Lucas even associated with him were the countless atrocities committed in the kitchen, like omelettes with fennel and blueberry muffins with bacon -- nothing compared to this.  Eliott would bring sunflowers home from the market, and Lucas swore it was like summer had graced itself all around the apartment and let its dominion encase the small space in a glorious bubble of tranquility.  But like summer, it wouldn’t have lasted.  Lucas should’ve known, Lucas should’ve been smart about it.  

So as Lucas walks back from the hospital and stands numbly at the bus stop, he comes to the realization that everything feels like Eliott, yet Eliott doesn’t feel like anything at all.

[kieutous]

donnerstag 09:17 / vendredi 22:42 / jueves 12:31