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the-nosy-neighbor · 5 months ago

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Bug-a-Bye and Goodnight

As always, I have edits:

This will make more sense at the end.

I came across some theories about this song, and wanted to look at it in depth.

We are reading with the understanding that he may be referring to Eddie.

[A gentle piano and bassoon track begins playing.]

The sun is low, it’s cold and dark,— end of season, but could also be a reference to night and danger after dark

Just wind and snow, I must remark,

The bugs all head to slumberland,—interesting given the use of toyland, also the commercial about remderem/insomnia (some must sleep but Wally is in the opposite state. Too aware?), but could be a reference to death, like “the big sleep”

Some might find it sad, but I understand,—on face value, he will miss his friends, but knows that it is inevitable.

Even if I might not be able to see you,—can’t see Eddie because he is gone/buried

I know it’s for the best, I can’t keep you,—Eddie staying would lead to serious consequences for Eddie

It’s time for all of you to get some rest,—after what we saw Eddie go through, I bet he would be better in a different state

To tuck you all into your arthropod nests,—bug stuff; also Julie's hibernation?

At this point, those last few lines could refer to a sort of death for Eddie. Almost like frank can preserve him in some way by giving him a death in this universe. If we are talking puppet world, which we did see in commercials, most of Eddie’s anxiety happened in that state. So, can Frank give Eddie a suspended or death like state in one of the layers of reality and he is preserved in storybook world or our real world?

With one last check, that nothing is amiss,

I can see you safe into your chrysalis,—this reads that he will put Eddie into a different state of being that he can come back from. The coming back is my interpretation only at this point because I assume frank wouldn’t choose death for him or would for sure be hurt by Eddie’s death. Things would have to be very bad if true death is a better option for Eddie.

Also, it hearkens back to the horror butterfly image. Another also, caterpillar to butterfly, an insinuation of emedging into a new form. I don’t see allusions to Howdy in here, but I suppose it is possible that this could refer to more than one neighbor and Frank is taking them all out.

As you snuggle down into your dirt,—reference to being buried?

I want to assure you that I won’t be hurt.

This clarifies that it is a sleeping type state, not death. Ok, here is we’re Eddie’s Halloween costume comes in. Frankenstein, changed from the Scarecrow in earlier art (presumably from wizard of oz). Interesting thing about scarecrow vs. Frankenstein is that we see scarecrow taken apart during that film and Frankenstein is famously assembled from parts of different people. Interestinger is the fact that they are both afraid of fire. (I love that Young Frankenstein shows up more than the original in a search.)

Frankenstein (and scarecrow) are both put back together, but for Frankenstein it seems more of a new being, not just a reassembling. Frankenstein (aka frankenstein’s monster) is a thinking, speaking individual that was horrified at the situation he was in. Frankenstein in the book murders to punish his creator for the immorality of creating him and the resulting loneliness that the monster feels. As such, the choice is very interesting. If the puppets of welcome home come to be aware or sentient, I wonder how they would feel about Ronald Dorelaine or their situation?

If the movie version is the focus of Eddie’s costume choice, then he would be a potentially thinking and feeling being (he is afraid of fire), but without further evidence we don’t know his thoughts.

Scarecrow is a guy without a brain, with the power of speech, so a kind of opposite. I think they all end up just needing to be confident, which is why some shyster from the Midwest is able to help. This almost seems to be more in tune with Eddie's character--Eddie has a tendency to appear kind of ditsy, is constantly being dismissed by others. In the end, we find out he is actually smart but lacks confidence. I can see that being true for Eddie as well.

If I had to pick out a character for Frank, it would be the Tin Man. Poppy is the Cowardly Lion, Wally is Dorothy. Home is Home. There are more parallels here than I was expecting. Howdy is the Wizard, Julie can be Glenda, and the Wicked Witch...is kind of no one? Sally can be a flying monkey. She works my nerve. Also, the whole spying thing was done by the monkeys in the movie.

But now that I am thinking about it, this comparison makes a lot of sense, in terms of the complex relationships, as well as the levels of reality that you find in Wizard of Oz. A big event leads to a shift in the understanding of reality, and the lead finds themselves in a very colorful world that doesn't much resemble their own, but is very flashy, has songs, beloved characters, and a sense of danger. There are some things when thought about in the context of real life, or the black and white portion of Wizard of Oz, would be truly frightening.

Of course, Wizard of Oz shares a lot of parallels with Alice in Wonderland, which also seems somewhat related. In terms of source material, the Wizard of Oz is considered to be a parable that expresses the thoughts about US economic policy in the 1890's. This is a theory that you can read more about here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Political_interpretations_of_The_Wonderful_Wizard_of_Oz

It isn't super related, and not everyone believes that this is the case. However, it seems to be a very American type story, no matter what you believe, that touches on the experience of normal people while much larger forces lie and fuck around with everything.

As the holidays begin to approach,

I gently kiss, each and every roach,—kisses for Eddie. We have seen a realistic roach on the secret page with the mishmash of one script where Wally is deciding what to draw

I made sure to keep, my garden cozy,

So you can safely sleep, in fallen posies,—this whole stanza shows a desire to and promise of a quiet death and maybe even a maintained grave. I looked up posies to see where Eddie could potentially be buried. Posies refer to a nosegay, or small bouquet of flowers. It was a Victorian secret code thing, a way to declare love or even reject people based on flower and color. One that sticks with us in the form of red roses signifying love. On the map, there is a cluster of yellow flowers to the side of Frank’s house. Not sure this counts as his garden, since it is on the other side of the house. Julie has a group of flowers behind her house, but once again, not his garden. No fallen flowers that I can ID.

When googling posey, this is what comes up. I felt that there was a flower called a posey, and these do look like the big yellow flowers by Frank’s house. If any flowers fall in updates, I am going to assume someone is buried there.

There is also the ring around the roses rhyme, which could relate, but I don’t really see a correlation.

It’s time to get comfortable in your honeycomb,

take your winter intermission in your garden loam,—dirt, burying again

neatly nestled from the cold in roots and rhi-ya-zomes, — cozy dead

sleeping side by side under stately stones,—2 dead? Headstones is the link I make there--OK, now look at the pic! (I know, it's a reach.)

…And I’ll be inside of my home,—frank is staying to oversee something. It reads like calming the person who will die. This seems to bolster that arguments that I addressed in the post about bugs on the previous website, that Frank is working against, or at least parallel to Wally. With the bugs, the whispering to Eddie, and using his first name, I think it is reasonable to suggest that Frank is working against Wally and/or Home.

Another potential clue is the hidden video with the clothespins where 1 is upside down. I have theorized that it is a reference to Barnaby dying, but it could be Barnaby and Eddie. Only one clothespin is shown upside down though, so Barnaby or Eddie?

Regardless of how I feel you need to go away,

I’ll be the one to tell you, you just can’t stay,—he likes bugs but this is extreme of Frank, if he is talking about actual bugs

Thankfully I lack a sentimental sensibility,—true that, he generally seems calm.

I enjoy my Methodical Mundanity,—why is this capitalized? I looked and looked but I can’t find the origin of this phrase, though it came up a few times in random posts and articles. Clown does have a tendency to capitalize things that seem random. Me below is also capitalized. I listened as well, and I have to wonder why the singing is so bad? I don’t think the voice actors are bad at singing, seems like a deliberate choice to have reedy and unsteady vocals, pitch issues and pacing problems.

Where all that’s left is… Me.

So, this is a bit extreme for a song about hibernating bugs. I think that given our many references to bisecting or otherwise putting people into pieces (Eddie butterfly horror, frank in a pile of body parts, look I made a dog, and slinky Barnaby, now Frankenstein and Scarecrow) that we could be looking at death in a sense that works in one layer of reality. You disassemble a puppet, it is no longer a puppet. So what if Frank = Frankenstein and Eddie is Frankenstein’s monster? Frank can take him apart and put him back together in puppet reality?

If I had to guess, I am sticking with my working theory. Frank, as the smartest guy in the neighborhood, is the resistant force in the neighborhood. Wally/Home is/are the catalyst for the scary stuff. They are central to everything, physically and otherwise.

I have mentioned that in the last update, Sally and Poppy have the appearance of spies or managing Eddie. Given that Poppy doesn’t attend to party, I am anticipating that Eddie was isolated and watched by Sally during this planning period, where Wally and Barnaby walk the neighborhood to find out what Homewarming is. Given that it is said that Wally and Home instigated Homewarming, it is strange that everyone knows what it is except for Wally. It reads more as an attempt to achieve a goal, despite everyone knowing about the holiday. Even Julie is at the party, and she is supposed to be hibernating. Well, they don't say exactly when Julie hibernates (maybe there was something about her doing it after the holiday?) Anyway, Poppy isn't at Homewarming. She could be at home, but the book stating that they are all here seems like an attempt to cover up her absence. What is she doing? Snooping in the Post Office while Sally watches Eddie? Does Eddie want to go home for not feeling well or he has an idea of what is happening while he is gone?

Maybe Frank sees his boyfriend and comrade at arms about to get hit with something bad, so to preserve him and the opposition, he is going to disassemble him (cue Johnny 5) for protection.

In the past, Sonny (the Brazilian bird) was cast as the opposition to Wally, and included in a relationship with Frank. This work in particular comes to mind:

Clown has stated that they removed Sonny from the project due to the story changing from one with a hero, to one without, as that wasn't the story that they wanted to tell. What if, though, instead of Sonny being written out for the hero reason, there was another reason? What if we are seeing Frank taking on being the neighborhood's savior? He is just snarky enough to make it seem less like a hero situation and more because it was impacting his garden.

#welcome home #welcome home theories #welcome home arg #eddie dear #frank frankley

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magicalink · 1 year ago

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Do they fuck or do they make love?

Headcanons with no specific AU! Mainly character x reader but it ended up implying character x character ships too in sime characters. I wrote this headcanons and when I was reading them to my boyfriend (who is my only beta reader) he started giving his opinions about them and I found his comments absolutely hilarious so I decided to include them! 🤣 First go my headcanons about the character and then my boyfriend's comments indented. Some of them are unhinged 🤣

Venti: Depends on the partner and the situation. He adores making delicate love to you but he's always up for a quickie in the middle of the house, the forest, anywhere and anytime you're willing. And oh Archons, is he intense when he does any of the two! He likes sex to be THE experience, and he tends to be over the top when it comes to it. Also an uncontrollable moaning machine.

Bf: Nah, he fucks. All the time. Cuz he is drunk all the time. We all know his only love is alcohol. I agree on the moaning machine part though, he is loud and doesn't care if others hear.

Diluc: Makes love. He has no time for sex if it's not with the love of his life. Doing it with him is a ceremony to remember. Expect long sessions full of kisses, heartwarming confessions, and body worshipping.

Bf: Accurate. Total gentleman. He only makes love. And possibly the first time you do it he will propose to you the morning after.

Childe: Fucks. He is all in for the adrenaline and pleasure in life, whether it's battle or it's lust. He wants to dive in and feel as much as he can,the more intense and dangerous, the better.

Bf: A fucking degenerate. He loves violence and competition and if he doesn't get it in sex then he's not interested. More of a masochist than a sadist, don't be surprised if you fight him and he ends up insinuating sexually to you. Especially if you're winning the fight. He wants to get beaten up. To sum up, he has a very weird way of "making love"...

Xiao: Makes love. To him, it's something sacred that should be shared with the people you love and respect the most. Will worship every inch of your body and be desperate to convey his feelings to you. Will focus completely on your pleasure, so make sure to calm him down and reward him a bit too!

Bf: Turbo virgin who self cock blocks all the time. He is always afraid: of hurting you, of making you uncomfortable, of saying something wrong, of looking at the wrong place...If you moan he asks you if you're okay. He gets soft all the time because he is afraid of hurting you. He has suicidal thoughts half the encounter. But yeah he makes love.

Albedo: Who knows, really. He's still studying what's the difference between the two. And he sure is doing an experiment and carefully studying it when he has sex with you. To be perfectly clear, he loves you, but this whole thing about sex and human relationships is new to him so he's trying to understand all these new feelings.

Bf: "Making love? Fucking? What is that? I'm the chalkman." Doesnt have a dick and if he had, he is not interested in human relationships at all. But if you manage to fuck him he would be writing down notes about it the whole time.

Scaramouche: Fucks because he thinks giving in to love will make him weak.💔

Bf: Fucks and he only thinks about his mommy issues while doing it. He only fucks to dissociate. And if you treat him with basic human kindness he will start seeing you as a maternal figure so be careful.

Wanderer: Now understands that lying about his feelings is the true form of weakness and doesn't want to waste a single more second of life, he makes love to you making sure he makes crystal clear how he feels about you: in the most explicit, toe-curling, fluid dropping way he can. If you like it hard, prepare to be smacked until you can't sit the following day.

Bf: He's gone to therapy so the mommy issues are better but he's still annoying af. He plays hard to get and pretends not to be committed but the truth is he's just being tsundere and hiding the fact that he is eating from the palm of your hand.

Kazuha: Makes the finest comfiest love in the world. Fucks like a horndog when he's drunk or high but won't stop telling you how crazily he loves you while doing it.

Bf: He is high af the vast majority of the time and during sex, it's no exception. If you manage to fuck him sober he will be the super reflexive and emotional type that cries during sex. But he fucks you lovely but won't make love to you, he only makes love with the love of his life Tomo, the rest of you are his cattle. He's a super friendly guy so after sex he will share his weed with you.

Gorou: He's a gentleman who wants to become good at making love but is extremely shy and gets flustered easily so he fucks sloppily. An adorable sight to behold!

Bf: I agree he is a little gentleman.

Tighnari: Makes love. Except when he's in heat. Then you have to be prepared if you wanna handle him.

Bf: another stoner. He would experiments with aphrodisiacs all the time, makimg them into weird salts or sth.

Cyno: Very similar to his jokes. He's completely sure he's giving his best at making love to you or Tighnari and showing you his devotion, but his poker face, stoic manners, and scary appearance make him look like he's angry fucking you. He doesn't get what he's doing wrong and doesn't do it on purpose. But it doesn't matter since you know him very well and not only are you used to his antics but you also have become sensitive to his very subtle changes of expression.

Bf: He can't help bit to tell bad jokes when he fucks. Self cockblocks himself all the time: either he goes soft in the middle of the act because he's laughing at his own jokes or he makes so cringy jokes that his partner gets uncomfortable and leaves. He can't help it, if he doesn't get them our he will explode.

Itto: Fucks wildly but it's his way of making love. He is just too brute to control the size and strength of his body, especially when he is under the effect of the feral feelings he has for you.

He loves you so much he can't help but to pick you up like you're a potato sack and swirl you in the air like you are a rag doll and take you with him everywhere. When he hugs you he leaves you breathless, when he kisses you he leaves you all sloppy and when he fucks you…well he leaves you sore for weeks but let's say it's totally worth it!

Bf: totally disagree! It would be so hard to fuck him, he would be clueless and friend zone or family zone you all the time. If you tell him you wanna be more than friends he would say "Superfriends??" With the biggest smile. And if you manage to fuck him he would be super careful, he knows he is a brute and is scared of hurting you.

Thoma: Makes super lovey-dovey love. Always double-checks if you're comfortable and enjoying the experience. Knowing he's making you feel good makes him glad and arouses him so don't be shy and tell him if he's doing it well!

Bf: nononono, absolutely wrong, you're blinded by his looks. He is a degenerate masochist and he only fucks Ayato. They have this weird dynamic where he literally acts as his dog.

Ayato: Another one who depends on the partner and situation. Honestly, he's so overworked that he desperately needs a good fuck. Ok maybe many of them. But not only he doesn't have the time, but also he can't be seen sleeping around due to his political position, so probably he'll only get to have sex when he finally finds the person he wants to marry. He hopes to be able to marry someone he actually loves instead of marrying for political reasons. So if you're the lucky one, expect heated sessions of lovemaking from this touch-starved man! Also, he'll love you but that doesn't mean he's gonna stop being a merciless tease 👀

Bf: Degenerate sadist who only has eyes for Thoma and makes him go through so much weird stuff they don't even remember what is to have normal sex. Tying him up and putting him on a leash is the most normal thing out of what they do.

Kaeya: Fucks. He lives for the spectacle and the mystique of it. Also, he's super popular around Mondstadt and wherever he goes so he sleeps around a lot. He has tons of admirers from both sexes and he makes sure to reward their love and devotion. He knows exactly how to please people, how to exacerbate his natural beauty and how to leave them crazy for him. He's simply so erotically natured. Probably the most experienced guy you know in the field.

Bf: Agree. Turbo slut. No more comments needed. If he manages to open his heart he can be sensitive. But that only happened once and it was with his own reflection in a mirror.

Heizou: Fucks lovingly 💕 He loves teasing and making his partner flustered. People and relationships are simply so fun and fascinating to him. And when he gets to be sexually intimate with someone it's even better! If you end up involved with him, be prepared to be taken to your limits.

Bf: Another degenerate. Probably makes you pretend you're a criminal to chase you around town. Pretty sadistic and I can imagine him having yandere tendencies. A cool guy though. When he is not horny.

Al Haitam: Zero interested in the matter. Until he met you. He is learning everything from scratch and even though he's always been a fast learner in everything, this subject is particularly hard since he needs to stop rationalizing and let his feelings take control for once. But his feelings for you are pretty intense, so little by little he is learning how to make love to you 💚

Bf: I imagine him as a turbo aspirator 3000. He would suck your soul out of your genitals. If you manage him to make him interested in sex, which is highly unlikely because he is like 0 interested in any kind of human contact. I picture him having sex with Kaveh and Kaveh would be a pillow princess and Haitham despite being the kind of guy who always sits down and just reads books he would be restless in bed, doing all the job and moving him around.

Kaveh: Another sweet-sweet love guy! He'll make sure to treat you like a princess and spoil you rotten in and out of the bedroom. He'll do the corniest expressions of chivalry but please bear with him, it genuinely comes from his heart. But if you want to see a more sloppy and wrecked side of him, you can always seduce him after he goes to the bar…

Bf: Sassy pillow princess. Or prince? Idk how to say it. He doesn't do anything but he will be all the time criticizing or praising what you do like a talent show judge. "Come on? Is it the first time you suck a cock or what?" You can imagine this kind of behavior is what infuriates Al Haitham and motivates him to go feral and fuck him around the whole house until he shuts the fuck up.

BONUS: This is an old draft but now that Neuvillete and Wriostheley are out, we couldn't let them out! So for this, we are interchanging roles, my bf will give you his headcanons and I will comment!

Bf: I'm 100% sure both Neuvie and Wriot are completely opposite in bed from their personalities in public. Our chivalrous and calm Neuvie is a pasional beast in bed. He is unsatiable, he is a dragon after all. Gives me the same vibes as Zhong Li who acts super calm but when fucking Childe he destroys 3 hotel rooms every night (exactly the type Childe loves. He got a crush on him when he struck him down at Fontaine's court. I'm sure Zhong Li will get jealous when he finds out and we will have some dragon drama going on) Back to Neuvie, he is super feral but he doesn't fuck, he makes love. It's his draconic way of making love. He is also very emotional and if he likes you, after having sex and having calmed down, he will open his wallet and start showing you the pictures of his 300 Melusine daughters and tell you their names and each of their jobs. He is a very proud dad.

Wriothesley loves you from a distance. While you fuck he is super sweet and loving, but during everyday life, he sucks at showing his feelings. He reminds me of the dad of Komi San, super silent but full of love. He communicates through glances (like a dog). Everyone thinks he is a bad boy but he's a super sentimental guy (won't admit it though) If you give him a gift he will treasure it forever and if someone breaks it or steals it from him he will beat them up.

One of his phrases would be "If something happens to my schmoochpsiepups I will kill everyone in Teyvat and then myself," and when he messes up with you for being unable to show his emotions he goes to a karaoke and sings "Baka Mitai" all depressed. He has 0 emotional intelligence and would go there often, crying "Oh, I wanted to tell Y/N how much I love them before they went away and I just groaned 'hmmm' AGAIN 😭😭".

YET ANOTHER BONUS: If Neuvillete and Wriothesley were in a romantic relationship, I'm sure Neuvie would tell him about all of his Melusine daughters. Wriot would act all cold and as if he didn't care but in fact he remembers all their names and thinks about them as his adoptive daughters. Don't be surprised if you walk down the street and see a Melusine falling down and he rescues her and goes to buy her an ice cream cone. He is a proud dad too.

Me: I have no comments. I agree with everything. And Wriot singing Baka Mitai would be amazing, he has the voice of Jotaro and Erwin after all.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Wow this post was longer than intended. AND ONLY NOW I realize we left Lyney and Zhong Li out. I guess bc to me Lyney is kinda teen coded? I feel like they wasted so much husband material making him look so young. I've seen the fandom drawing him as an adult and he looks so hansome. And both my bf and I rambled about Zhong Li but we forgot to include an entry for him 😂 He says it's ok because he's tied to Tartaglia and we spoke about him in Tartaglia's section 😂 God we are a disaster. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the post, whether you found the headcanons hot or my bf's comments funny. He is scared of getting cancelled though 😂

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hamletteprinceofdenmark · 9 months ago

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youtube

Transcript of Shelby's Video:

CW: Abuse

:readmore:

Hello! I don't know if you can even hear it, I put on, like, light jazz in the background because it seemed awkward being quiet, but I don't think you can hear it, so I'm just gonna turn it off. Um, hello! Um, welcome! We are in emote only because I'm just gonna be talking today, and then I'm gonna go! I'm gonna go!

Um, yeah, it was very, very low. There's, there's no need. I just, it felt weird leaving you in silence, but I'm here, so — Hello! Um, I want to talk about something today that, um, very nervous. I feel sweaty. I had a sweater on, I had to take it off. Um, I'm gonna try and just, I wrote down pretty much everything I think that I want to say to keep track of, sort of all the points that I want to make sure I don't forget anything. So I will be reading from something, um, a good portion of the time, but not 100 percent of the time. Um, and I just wanted to make sure I got all of my thoughts down in words ahead of time. I'm, I really like writing down my thoughts. So I did that.

Um, oh, hold on. Can I turn ads off? I think that maybe we turn ads off today. How do I make that happen for just today? Um. Shoulda had that already. I shoulda had that already. I actually don't even know how to make that happen. You know what? That's just gonna have to be that way. I'm so sorry.

Um. I'm all good. Um, yeah, okay. Today's just gonna be talking. Uh, I'm just gonna start reading from what I wrote, and go from there.

I have a really big coffee, I'm gonna take a swig. And I have my water, and I'm gonna take a swig of that.

I have always liked telling my different experiences that I've had, um, in dating because it feels important to me to share what I've learned and maybe help other people to not make the same mistakes that I have before. I'm 30. I've dated a lot. I've gone on a lot of dates. I keep trying, um, and it's unfortunate that a lot of my dating history, uh, there were a lot of bad people that tried to manipulate or control me, um, but that's not to say that every person that I've dated has treated me poorly. Um, some people just weren't the right people.

Um, and speaking out about my bad experiences has never felt as important as it does right now because silence has always brought me peace. And this time it feels like my silence is not keeping my peace. It's only keeping somebody else's peace. Um, and I never thought that I could be the kind of person to end up in a situation like I did. I'd never thought that could happen to me.

And so for me, this is important because it could help anybody else see the signs sooner than I did. Um, or hopefully avoid a similar situation entirely. Because the, the truth is it was dangerous. Um, there were a lot of things wrong in this relationship that, um, I endured some pretty terrible treatment. Um, and I might touch on some things here and there about that. But, um, if I feel like it's important to the overall context. But what I want to stay focused on is this specific issue, um, and the things that happened matter-of-factly and the things that people saw and witnessed in our circle.

Um, it took me 10 months after to heal. And I spoke with multiple therapists and tried different forms of therapy. Um, I tried somatic therapy. That one was actually really good for me. Um, because that one actually helped me release a lot of, um, built up anger I was having over the last year. Um, but the anger that I was feeling was for myself because, um, I felt like I should have known better.

I felt so stupid at myself for, um, sort of just staying through all of this. Um, and I shared my story with a lot of friends after I started talking to therapists and I was like "So, this thing happened ... and I wasn't really sure ... It just seems weird now to me looking back," and all of them told me exactly what was happening in the words that I was too afraid to use.

Um, and I was being hurt in my last relationship. And it took me all of that time to see it through that lens. Um, I even posted an anonymous story to Reddit that I have now deleted with an anonymous account. But in posting that, I found a dozen other stories that were exactly like mine, exactly the same way. Um, and all of the comments said exactly the same thing.

Um, and I was so mad at myself because I was lying to, um, at a certain point to protect this person, because I knew that if I told my friends the truth, it'd make him look really bad. Um, I didn't think that I would cry and I practiced saying all of this and I didn't cry, but it's easier to practice it when no one is listening.

Um, but he always cared more about how it looked and that was really important, not what was true. Um, and it was really subtle. When I hear about, um, when I hear about physical abuse, I think of hitting. I think of hitting and punching, um, so I thought that this wasn't violent enough, um, to be abuse. Uh, I thought that it was just like a constant accident that he kept hurting me. Um, but he's not hitting me and it didn't start as something that he did to hurt me.

Uh, he had this habit of biting, which is so weird to me now, but he said that he had had this habit since he was a kid. And even his mom said that that was true. And he said it was just affectionate and that that might have been — I mean, I think that that might have been true, maybe, at the start, but I also feel that I have good reason to believe that every part of it was a lie, but that's just my personal opinion, um, and I had no problem with just biting, that isn't even the most uncommon thing, um, but he did mention something early that I should have taken as a red flag, um, and he wanted to make sure that I was okay with him biting me because he didn't want me to come back later and say that he abused me. Which I thought was really weird considering he had never hurt me before. And so why would I call it abuse? And why was he thinking about that? And I thought he was being sweet, checking on me to make sure that I was still comfortable. Um, but of course I was because he hadn't hurt me. And why would I think he ever would?

Um, and then he did, for the first time, by accident, uh, and I don't specifically remember the actual first time that he bit me too hard by accident, because I didn't think that it would be significant, um, I thought that it would only happen once, and he started biting me more and more over a period of time, sort of throughout the whole relationship, and accidents of him biting too hard and really hurting me happened more and more frequently, um, but he always seemed genuinely sorry, and he decided that he didn't want to keep accidentally hurting me, um, so we were gonna use a safe word, um, so he could learn where my limit was, where my pain tolerance ended.

Uh, and saying that out loud now doesn't sound — Like, that's not very sound logic. Um, but at the time, I thought he cared about not hurting me. But in reality, it's like, why are you biting so hard? And why do you have to bite so hard? And it shouldn't be that hard of a problem to stop. Um, that shouldn't be that hard.

And he disguised it as this really quirky part of our relationship and was so comfortable sharing it with his friends to the point that he would do it in front of them. He thought it was this really funny story to tell and a good bit to take my arm and bite me in front of everybody until I literally shout in pain. Um, and then I have to laugh it off because I'm so embarrassed and I don't want to cause a scene in front of all of our friends and I'm sure everyone was a little bit uncomfortable, but as long as I was saying that it was fine, nobody really felt like they needed to be concerned and that's not anybody's fault because I was lying. I was lying and it wasn't fine because I would go home later and I'd tell him how uncomfortable I was. How much I didn't like being hurt all the time and I needed him to really stop biting so hard. I didn't like it and I tried telling him over and over again because he wasn't actually trying at all to not hurt me, um, but he said he would try, at first, and then he started saying things like it was my pain tolerance that was too low, or I'm exaggerating how much it actually hurts. He's not even biting that hard. I'm, I'm being dramatic. Um, but his biting escalated to a point where I was covered in bruises all over my arms and they hurt and he would poke at them for fun. And he even felt so comfortable showing off my bruises that he had caused to our friends because he would bite me so hard by accident, "by accident." He would even joke that it looked like he abused me. Um, and eventually he did acknowledge how bad it looked that I was covered in bruises all the time. So he stopped, um, biting my arms as often. And he started biting my legs instead. Um, and it was in the last couple of months of the relationship that every time he bit me, it was until I needed to use this safe word. Um, it had become his benchmark for when to stop.

Only once I was definitely hurt, um, which meant I was being hurt every single day, um, multiple times a day, uh, for all of the days that we spent together in person. And when I asked him to stop again, this time he said, "This is who he is. He isn't going to change." Those were his words. And I remember a lot of, specifically his words about certain things, especially at the end.

Um, because I'm good at remembering words and especially his wording. I became really good at remembering because he was constantly contradicting himself. And I would notice, but most of the time it wasn't worth picking a fight over. And — But he would fight me on it sometimes 'cause I would po- I would point it out and, uh, he would insist that he had never said the thing that he said, he definitely did say. And then he would say something like, "How are you so sure you're remembering correctly? Why are you always right?" Um, and he definitely said the things that I heard him say and other people heard him say.

So, he had, now at this point, weaponized the safe word and was using it to ensure that I was hurt and on a constant basis. And he wasn't sorry anymore. Um, I couldn't even tell you the last time he had apologized for doing it anymore because now sometimes he would bite me and I would yell out the safe word because it hurts so bad and he'd clamp down even harder and, just for a second, just for good measure, before letting go and sometimes I'd say the safe word and he'd grind his teeth down on my skin and sometimes he'd smile after, um, like a gloating grin?

And during this time I was filled with so much anxiety all the time that I was constantly nauseous. Gagging daily, um, on occasion throwing up because of the pit that was in my stomach. I never told him about that though. I was going and running away quietly to throw up in the toilet and rejoin our group of friends.

Um, but I felt so unwanted and ignored. Um, and I would tell him that and then he would reassure me that he wanted to be together and he loved me. He loved me more than I loved him, even. He would always insist that that was true, like the, "I love you." "I love you more," but he was like, really serious about it.

Um, and looking back, I do believe that the way I was swept off my feet at the beginning of this relationship was 100 percent love bombing. Um, and we were friends for a time. Um, at least people would have thought that, actually, but I use the word friend very loosely because, um, we had actually never spoke to each other outside of group chats we were in together when, like a handful of times throughout the, the whole time that we knew each other, um, but did not talk to each other.

So I wouldn't have even called him my friend until he found out I was single, waited a few weeks to reach out, and then we started a friendship and then that friendship turned romantic and then he made these huge romantic gestures. He wrote me the most beautiful love letter that I had ever read. Um, he called me his soulmate. He talked about "forever" one month in. He told me he hadn't been in a relationship in five years. He thought he could never find love again before he met me. He said he wanted someone to grow with. He wanted to be a dad. He had all his names picked out and I didn't have a preference because I — My feeling of it is that the timing is right and with the right person, I could, um, but if that doesn't work out in time or the time, you know, I, I'm not super pressed about it. Um, but I started opening my mind up to the idea with him because it seemed so important to him. And I kept trying to talk to him to figure out where he was, later on, when I could tell things like, were declining.

And, um, now all of a sudden he's telling me he's not sure he wants kids at all. In fact, he has never been attached to the idea of kids. Um, and I told him that isn't what he said before, and he said he's allowed to change his mind. And I'm of the opinion that in a relationship, there are a few things that you are not actually allowed to change your mind without letting your partner know.

I think that kids is one of them. It wasn't even important to me. Um, and I think marriage is one of them, so I brought that up next. And I asked if he still wanted marriage. He said he wanted to marry me. And then he said, now, "I'm not the co-" quote, "I'm not the commitment guy. You know that."

I didn't know that.

Why are you dating me?

In fact, he was telling me the exact opposite every day. Uh, he would tell me he still wanted to be together. He wanted to work on all of the problems. He wanted to, like, he wanted me at the end of everything. He did not want to break up. He made that very clear. And uh, I have though, caught him in lies before, but usually it was small stuff and I, again, I didn't want to, it wasn't anything that ever seemed worth rocking the boat over, uh, which isn't normal for me.

I hate lies. Um, and yet I ended up lying for him. So, uh, but he had lied about big things and he had also been caught lying by his friends numerous times. So this is something that he feels is acceptable to do. And everything reached a breaking point when he was about to leave for an extended period of time.

We were not going to see each other very much, a few days out of every few months, um, and now suddenly he is dumping all of these problems that he has been having feelings about all of this time later. Um, at one point he said he's been feeling this way a couple of months. At another point, he says he's been feeling this way for six months, immediately contradicting him- contradicting himself in the same conversation.

And with no time to do anything about it. I arrived — the one of — Never mind. I'm gonna get to something later, but I literally arrived for three days for this conversation to happen and then leave. Um, my cat just woke up and she's not usually awake right now — Hi, my love. It's really close to her dinner time. I should have fed her early.

Um, so no time to fix any of the problems all the sudden because there are three days before he leaves and he insisted he did not want to break up. He, and so, he was expecting me to have a solution somehow, magically, and I gave a number of solutions that would have a way forward for us to be together, but he refused to make any compromise, um, whatsoever.

And he said that "the relationship was starting to feel like a responsibility," towards the end. Also his words. Um, so it wasn't a responsibility the whole rest of the time to him. And he was at this point, basically flaunting that he would never prioritize me over anything. Um — she's eating my laundry. Please don't cause problems. — Um, and I wasn't even asking for literally even the bare minimum. I was asking for so little and he — I was watching him give exactly what I was needing in the relationship all over the place to anybody else who, who just happened to ask and just wasn't me. So, um, and he also, he was never going to prioritize me over anything that would give him more fame or money.

In fact, he said that himself. He, uh, that was exactly why he was not going to compromise at all for a solution for us to be together. Because he said he wanted to see how much fame and money he could get. Um, and I just thought we wanted to be together. I thought that's what we both wanted, because that's what he was still saying he wanted to.

Um, but then he also admitted to me that he had grown resent- uh, he had grown to resent me. And I have to be thankful that he said that bit out loud. A lot of these bits he said out loud. Because that was the last push that I needed to get myself out.

He had grown resentful, which I also pointed out that there was no reason. Like, there was no reason to feel that way and he admitted that there was no reason for him to feel that way either. I think that it was because I'm someone who can communicate how I feel. Um, but, I don't know, I think, there, I have a lot of theories and reasons why I believe things happen the way that they did and why he was lying all of the time.

Um, but, he was "resentful" of me, was causing me physical harm every day, multiple times a day, despite me telling him over and over again to stop. He wasn't going to change, and he wasn't going to end the relationship. He was going to keep hurting me, and it was possibly going to escalate even further. So I broke up with him.

And I didn't even want to. Um, because I couldn't even see for such a long time after, um, what it really was that had happened. That he had abused me. And, in fact, we left things as, we want to be friends, and he can never imagine not speaking to me again. Um, and then he never spoke to me again. Uh, outside of like a couple of exchanges where I needed to ask for my clothes to be shipped, um, so at least I got my clothes back, uh, I had a whole closet full.

However, uh, he did throw away all of my other things, uh, without saying a word to me about it. Hundreds of dollars of things from my office were trashed without a word, and I didn't block him till ten months later because I wanted an open door still. I really thought I wanted to be his friend. Um, but, uh, I don't feel that way anymore.

I do believe he was bottling up so many emotions, uh, and he would never talk about how he felt. Um, I, I think he even, I mean, he did admit that he felt like he couldn't say it any sooner. Like, there was just no possible way to say how he was feeling sooner than the absolute last possible chance. Like, not even a chance, because three days before he left, that was actually a lie too, also.

He didn't leave for another week after I left. He, he brought me in, had this three day conversation, he was supposed to leave, and then he stayed for another week before he left, uh, with all of the friends that I was also meant to see, but he had lied to me about the dates too.

Um, but I do believe that there, uh, that he was bottling up so many emotions that he was taking it out on me physically. I believe there was a moment where he knew that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore and instead of just ending it, he tried to push me away any way he knew would hurt me. And he knew all of the ways that would hurt me the most. And he knew he was hurting me. There was no way that he didn't know because of the safe word that he made.

Uh, and he just didn't care. He was hurting me and he didn't care. And even looked like he was enjoying it, sometimes. Um, and I can look back now and I can see all these instances that were really major red flags. Um, there was this one time that he pinned me down and asked me to try my absolute hardest to get him off of me.

And I couldn't do it, obviously. And he said something to make the point that he was so much stronger than me that I wouldn't be able to fight him back. Fight back against what? What do you mean? You don't say shit like that to people? That's insane. Um, and I was also sexually assaulted by my first boyfriend, and he knew that.

Um, he had stopped giving anything to the relationship, and he said that why was because he "was just waiting for things to change on their own." Um, he said he also "didn't have the time or energy anyway to do the things that I was asking for." Um, but then would constantly make any bit of time and energy for anybody and anything but me.

Uh, and he would say he wanted more quality time, so then I would try to arrange things for us to do online because we were, uh, long distance, but then he would complain that he doesn't want to spend all of his time on the computer anymore. Uh, and then we'd be there in person and all he wants to do is stay inside, play games on his computer, watch movies. He doesn't want to go out.

Um, and I'm not saying any of this next part to be mean, um, he lived in filth like I have never seen, and I've seen filth. This was the worst. Uh, he would spill things on the floor and never, literally never clean them up. Uh, he got an ant infestation once, um, and wasn't going to do anything about it because he said, he said "Bugs are normal in British houses," um, so I had to buy Antkiller. And he wouldn't clean his bathroom for months, and months, and months, but would constantly complain about how bad it smelled, and I would tell him, that's mould. It's mould. He complained about being tired all the time too, which I don't know if that was a lie or not, but mould will do that too.

But he would insist that it wasn't, somehow, without having cleaned in months. But it's not mould. Um, when I met him, he was washing his clothes without detergent. Um, just, he wasn't using that at all, and I don't know for how long before I met him. He was just running it with water and then hanging it on his filthy kitchen cabinets.

Um, and I felt bad. I felt bad because I felt like he needed someone to help him learn how to be cleaner. I thought he just didn't know how and I listened to all of the struggles of his upbringing and I was like, "He just doesn't know how. Someone just needs to show him." Um, and then I found out that he said he doesn't clean at all when I'm not there because he just waits for me to get there to do it.

Um, and I only found out about that after we broke up because he said it behind my back. Uh, I was doing all of the cleaning and laundry for him. Also, I had a separate bathroom. I want to make that clear. I wasn't using that bathroom. I had a separate bathroom that I cleaned for myself. I had cleaning supplies. I don't think he even actually knew I had cleaning supplies in there. Um, but I had my own bathroom.

Um, all the, all the cleaning, all the laundry. All of it. I was paying for. All of the, um, like paper towels, like soap, all of that only stayed in the house so long as I was buying it. Um, I would arrive and there would just not be toilet paper in the whole house. There were paper towels instead. And who knows for how long, too.

Um, I was paying for food more than half the time. Uh, because he would often push me into ordering food for us even if I had paid for the last meal, or the meal before that. Um, and I'm of the opinion now that I shouldn't have been paying for any food. Um, none at all, but I wanted to at least, I thought I was being equal by at least doing like a back and forth. Um, but, uh, I ended up paying for food more often than just going back and forth anyway. And he would do this to his friends all the time too. Um, but I was also paying for every plane ticket and the cat sitter, which cost roughly the amount of a plane ticket to England.

Um, and he never offered to help me pay after the couple of times he did come here to visit me because he paid for the flights that we would both take. Um, but that only happened twice at the very beginning. I have actually had a friend tell me that, that this is financial abuse, but I don't know enough about that to say for myself, but I was telling him that I couldn't afford it, uh, all by myself all the time because I was losing money. I was never able to work properly there and he wasn't traveling at all to see me anymore, even though he said he would. Uh, that was like the basis of our entire relationship starting off. Um, so then he agreed to pay for the cat sitter so that it would be basically paying half the cost of my travels. Um, and he did that once, and then never did it again, uh, despite many more months of dating.

Uh, and I was traveling often. Um, I had to. Because he was worried that we weren't spending enough quality time together. And then all of the time that he would have ever extra, he would choose, choose, to not spend it on me because there was an available choice and he chose not to spend it with me. Often.

Um, and I did everything short of just up and move there, which I was willing to do the whole time. And I told him that I was willing to do it and he knew, uh, but he insisted that I don't. He insisted not to. He was planning to move here. That was supposed to happen first.

Um, and then at the end of the relationship, he said, "Maybe things would have been different if I lived there." If I lived there. Uh, like I had said I would the whole time and he insisted I don't. Maybe that could have saved the relationship. Um, and I say all of this because I believe that people like this are genuinely dangerous. I believe he is dangerous.

Um, he was willing to lie. He was willing to do harm to someone he claimed to love more than anyone he has ever loved. Uh, his actions escalated, um, and I don't think that I'll be the last person that he hurts. Uh, and I felt like sharing my story was really important to warn people. Um, I want people to see the signs that I refused to.

I want you to listen to your body. Um, and get out as soon as possible. Tell your friends the truth and let them help you.

Um, I really thought I, I couldn't — Because I had been sexually assaulted in a previous relationship, I just thought I was so much smarter. To never — and I was like, "if someone ever laid their hands on me, I'd leave immediately. It would never happen a second time." But you, you just, it just kind of happened so slowly over time, and got worse, and worse, and worse, until the point where there's no way to deny the fact that he was hurting me and he knew, and, and didn't care.

That's just the kind of thing that I keep repeating to myself when I'm like, "But was it bad enough? What? It wasn't violent enough." Um, but I was being hurt multiple times every single day. Days, and days, and days, and days, for a month at a time in a row, uh, and I'm not even speaking on most, because I did touch on other things, but I am not even speaking on most of the other things that, in my opinion, I do think that there are some things that are across a line that make you a bad person.

I don't think that most people can be defined in a black and white, you're good or you're bad, but I do believe that there is a line that you can cross and only bad people will do the things on the other side of that line. You know what I mean? Um, and I watched a couple of things cross that line. And I just, I, I truly feel now that my soul is so healed.

Um, I am light years beyond him. Uh, this was the last thing that I felt like I needed to do — That's my cat. — Um, before I could move forward and hopefully never talk about him ever again. Outside of maybe my stories that I want to tell about other shitty things he did. Anonymously mixed in with the other stories I still have of shitty things that shitty exes did.

Because I think it's important for us to share our stories and our experiences. I think it's important for all of us to know that we deserve so much better than this. Um, and I think that if people don't want us to talk about the shitty things that they do, then they shouldn't do shitty things. Um, and this just felt so important to share.

I always wanted to share my experiences. I always will. Um, and that's kind of it. That's it. That's the end of everything I prepared. I reserve the right, uh, entirely to change my mind later and tell every story I want to, um, but for now that's all I really have, I feel like, from my soul, I want to speak on. Because I think that this can help other people.

I think that it can help other victims. Um, I have already talked to a number of — I only cry now when I'm talking about my friends! Who also dealt with such shitty things from shitty people. Um, but I'm also so, so grateful for all of my friends who were through, uh, with me through this whole thing. And my friends who also were experiencing similar, similar sorts of situations, um, at the same time, and we kind of went through it together. So, um, I think they are the strongest people in the whole world, and they made me feel like the strongest people in the whole world today. Did I call myself people? I meant person. I feel like the strongest people — I did it again. — I feel like the strongest person. They made me feel so brave. I felt impenetrable today. Um, but I am gonna go now because my friends are coming over and we're immediately gonna go become distracted by watching Love Is Blind. I already watched all of it already and I don't care.

So thank you, um, for listening. Thank you everyone who gifted subs. Um, um, I am going to be taking, uh, the rest of the week off from streaming. I have a video going out on Saturday and I'll be back next week and, uh, you won't hear about any of this again for a while, probably. But, uh, thank you all. I don't really even know what to do now. I think I'm just going to end. Um, go spread love all over the place on Twitch right now and I'll see you guys later. Bye.

Wilbur's response:

In the past week a series of allegations have been made over my conduct from an ex-girlfriend. I want to emphasise that, although I feel it fair to offer my perspective, this person's feelings are completely valid. I have taken my time sharing this statement as I wanted to process and respond respectfully and with the hope to gain a deeper understanding for the situation.

During our relationship's final months, I regrettably became slobbish, disrespectful, and selfish. These actions caused a lot of pain to my ex-girlfriend and I've since sought therapy to address these behaviours, making significant lifestyle changes to rectify my past actions. I have come to realise how much my past behaviour hurt this person, but I truly, compassionately believe I have made great strides from the person I once was and hope I can continue to grow and improve on this trajectory.

The allegation of abuse, particularly in the form of biting, deeply shocked me. Throughout our relationship, I understood from our numerous conversations and text message exchanges on the subject, that this behaviour was consensual, playful and reciprocally enjoyed. I truly believe those personal message exchanges reflect mutual affection and understanding. Out of respect for her, I choose not to publish them and I emphasise my perspective is not shared to diminish or invalidate anyone's feelings. Instead I share it in the hope that I can offer a genuine, fair and relevant insight into my understanding of the situation. While I may perceive our interactions differently, I recognise that this person has processed and expressed feelings of hurt. I want to extend my sincerest apologies for any pain that I caused.

I am fully committed to understanding and addressing her concerns going forward. I hope my perspective sheds light on this situation without detracting from its message. I am dedicated to earning and maintaining the trust of those around me and hope I continue to be held to these high standards I wish to attain and maintain.

- Will

Shubble's response:

i could not have imagined what i would wake up to today. my ex pretending he thought i enjoyed being hurt... and all of my friends immediately coming to my defense. The support has brought me to tears, i don't even know what to say. i'll be back, i'll just be taking a little time

and for the record, i don't accept the apology

#shelby #shelby shubble #wilbur situation #Youtube

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago

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AITA for asking my (36F she/her) girlfriend (32F she/they) to be out at work if she wants to become myanager ?

It's messy and complicated. I love my girlfriend very much and ultimately I think we are in a shitty situation with no real win and we have a different opinions on how to lose.

I am a polyamorous lesbian. I have a wife but I also sometimes have other secondary partners, and my wife does too.

I am happy to work in a place safe enough that I am out at work (about the lesbian part, not the polyamory part). My wife often comes at afterwork events and because she is a sweetheart, is loved by most of my colleagues.

I have been at this job for 4 years, that's how I met this colleague, Angel. This person looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. We talked, grew a bit closer then I met them again outside of work, at a queer event of my city. This time I recognized them. Angel is trans, non binary and fem presenting, at work she is not out and present herself as a cis heterosexual man. We talked, I obviously swore to keep it a secret but knowing this part of her helped us growing even closer together. We have now been dating for 3 years.

Angel has a longtime girlfriend (childhood sweethearts even) as her primary relationship. Let's call her Valentine. Valentine is working in the same industry but not in the same company. Because it's a niche field, everyone knows everyone and we often meet at work events. I also like her very much and we are good friends. Val is terrified to be out as polyamori at work because she is afraid of what the gossip will do to her work reputation. Valentine has a more public facing role than Angel and I and I absolutely respect her desire to protect what she has.

Even if it doesn't look like it, I do like too to keep private and professional life separated… Angel and I mostly connected outside of the workplace at queer events and are also both deeply involved in the drag scene and the queer political scene of our city. We never flirted at work and have even never stole a kiss on workground. We just happened to fall in love anyway even if we recognized the situation was less than ideal.

Our company has been through a lot of changes recently. My teamleader is leaving and Angel(that previously worked in another department) has been asked if she wants the role.

She does.

I have more experience than her even if she has more seniority with the company. I have been pretty open about wanting a senior expert position rather than managerial one and that's why I have not been offered the role. I am really happy for her and think she will be a great manager and recognize it's a great opportunity.

But I don't want her to be My manager. It's a really dangerous position to have over a romantic partner and she recognizes that. Moreover even if we managed to keep our relationship a secret until now, we know it's a precarious position. If our secret would be revealed while she IS my manager it could be terrible for us. She could be accused of taking advantage of me, or me to want to sleep my way through the top. Keep also in mind that she is male presenting at work and I am publicly a lesbian so yeah… We are also in very committed relationship which is another mess… It would not look good for us should we be forcibly out…

That's why I want to go to HR while her candidacy is being studied and explains the whole thing or at least some of them. I don't want to leave my team because my mentor is there and not a lot of people are doing what we do but maybe we could sort something out together? I would agree for Angel to be the team leader if I have a separate manager… Or maybe Angel could be the leader of another team ? Or I could become a more independent team member ? Angel and I are publicly work best friends so it would made sense anyway for me to have a different manager to keep things more fair.

Angel doesn't want to, and Valentine is absolutely against it. Angel thinks it will ruin her chance at the position. Maybe want to sort things out After she has been offered the job, maybe try to work out how we would work at manager/managee for some time before calling HR. I would not be against waiting for a real offer but listening her talk, I am afraid she intends to push things forever. Angel is afraid HR will reveal our secret to everyone. I recognize our HR team is not the best and even gossipy but it's about really private and protected things (in my country) : our sexual orientation and sexual identities. We also have a very good Union (with queer delegates) and even if I am unsure about HR, I am sure the union will remember them the law protecting us here and will ultimately behave appropriately. But I recognized it's a risk.

I want to break things of with Angel if she doesn't want to go to HR. My wife says it's mean and manipulative to use this kind of ultimatum. The way I see it I am just protecting myself. Angel is putting her job before our relationship and I am OK with that, she is also priorizing Valentine's needs (as she should) but in this case, I should be allowed to do the same and protect myself and my job. From my point of view, Angel could : refuse the position, go to HR, or accept the breakup.

AITA for this ultimatum ? Valentine thinks I am. Angel is confused. My wife disapproves but loves me to much to call me an asshole.

#aita #am i the asshole

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mayhaps-a-blog · 4 months ago

Text

OK so the thing is

The path to the Dark Side isn't just kriffing up. You don't just go "whoops!" one day and start murdering people for fun. You make decisions. You make choices. And when those choices go bad... instead of standing up and admitting your mistakes, you double down.

Sol's Fall perfectly hits the beats that I think many people lose track of with Anakin - his first Fall wasn't with Palpatine in Revenge of the Sith, but with the Tuskens in Attack of the Clones. Anakin goes from sobbing in Padme's arms that he killed the women, and the children too - he killed them all - to screaming that they were monsters and they deserved it. Instead of facing his mistakes - the lives that he took in anger, in rage - he insisted that you know what, he was right to do that. He did the right thing. He's glad he did it. And he'll do it again.

Sol kriffed up. He was too emotional on Brendok - Indara called him out on it, and she was right. The witches DID love their children, he DID get the wrong end of the stick, and however weird they were and worrisome the bits they saw with the kids were, the answer to that is to find out more information or, I don't know, wait one kriffing day, not charge in, lightsabers drawn.

(I don't blame Torbin, really. He was also totally out of balance, but he was the Padawan learner - the student who needed guidance, not the Master supposed to deliver it. Mother Aniseya had gotten into his head and thrown him for a loop, and Indara needed to sit on him a bit more - but if she'd been on a speeder instead of Sol, I think things would have worked out very differently.)

Instead it was Sol, who dragged Torbin into a dangerous situation without thinking of the consequences - without even considering that he might be wrong.

Honestly, I'm not even sure I blame him for swinging at Mother Aniseya. Mae had said some pretty worrisome things and was literally dissolving into midair. I blame Sol for being there in the first place, where he had no place, and for putting everyone on edge so far that Mother Aniseya felt the need to move to protect her children, and he felt the need to retaliate unthinkingly.

And then. And then.

Hard to say if Indara did the right thing. She was thinking about Osha, and I don't think she was necessarily wrong. She gave Osha a chance to have the life she dreamed of, a chance she would never have had otherwise.

But Sol.

Sol should never have taken Osha as his Padawan. He was too close; the hurt was too painful to hide. He couldn't tell Osha the truth, so he buried it, papered it over with justifications and excuses - he'd done it for Osha. For the girls. To keep them safe. It was the right thing to do. It was the only thing to do. He did it for Osha. And that gave him the means to look Osha in the eyes and smile, and pretend everything was fine.

But of course, he couldn't let her go, either. He'd done it all for her - he couldn't fail her now. Couldn't admit that he'd failed her. He had to make this right - (but it was right already it was it was) - but the closer he bound them together, the harder it was to let go of his attachment to her. After all, if he told her now... what if she hated him?

Sol loved Osha too much from the very beginning. He couldn't let go of his attachment to her: to his idea that he could save her, could train her, to be the master he wanted to be for her. He couldn't face his own failures, so he refused to see them; insisted that they were correct, right, justified, to the last. And in the end, that's what poisoned Osha - and himself.

He was afraid. Afraid for her; afraid for himself. And his fear led to anger - at the Master, at himself. And his fear led to anger - Osha's, at him, for papering over his fears with lies, lies to her. And anger led to hatred. And hatred? Led to suffering.

No one walked away from Brendok without suffering. Not Osha; not Mae. Maybe Qimir; maybe not. But definitely not Sol.

Sol had to make a choice. And he made one. But he didn't just make one choice; he made many choices, over and over again. And no matter what excuses he gave, what justifications, he could never bring himself to admit that maybe, just maybe, he'd made the wrong choices.

Sol's lightsaber may not have been red. But I think, if he'd finished that swing on Khofar? It might not have been all that far from it.

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villifix · 8 months ago

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I need uncle Merle dealing with a roady teen daughter Dixon 🙏🧍🏾

i was pretty sure anon was asking for a rowdy teen dixon so this is you... kinda being a little shit 🫵🏻🤨

⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧

uncle!merle and teen!reader

⛧°｡⋆༺♱༻⋆｡°⛧

• merle honestly thinks you're hilarious

• man, he could listen to you all day

• he loves that you're not afraid to be yourself even when some of the more tame personalities around you like to give you the side-eye

• you seemed to take after the loud and mischievous parts of your uncle merle, and all of the hotheadedness that daryl used to have

• you know how whenever a fight breaks out, daryl's just like "fuck it we ball"? yeah you take after your dad in that aspect

• when you get into fights, your uncle merle backs you up literally every time, even if you started it

• when you're the one that started it, daryl's trying to reprimand you and merle's just like "that little shit's been askin' for it anyways"

• god it pisses daryl off. he's trying to teach you to be more considerate with your actions so you don't end up in some of the situations he's gotten himself into, and here merle is just acting like you were justified when he doesn't even know the story

• HOWEVER, everything has a limit and when you really start to act reckless or lash out and disrespect daryl, he takes it seriously

• especially if you're disrespecting daryl

• you two would actually get into an argument about it. you don't see what the big deal is, and uncle merle is NOT having it

• you honestly weren't prepared for the way he laid into you

• "you think this is damn funny? you ever seen them scars on your daddy's back? our daddy would have put us six feet in the ground for the shit yer pullin'. he didn't make us dinner, he didn't give us a hug when we were sad, he sure as hell didn't try'n talk to us when we were actin' out. you know what he did? he beat our asses til' we cried and bled. a belt, a switch - shit, he would'a used a whip if he had one. you got a good daddy, girl. he loves the shit outta you. he ain't never raised a hand to you. hell, he ain't hardly even raised his voice at'cha. you better be real grateful for what'chu got and stop actin' like you ain't got no sense. you ain't that damn stupid. now you take your ass in there, give yer daddy a kiss and tell 'im yer sorry 'fore i lose my damn patience."

• talk about being humbled...

• he's definitely not as patient as daryl tries to be with you when your behavior goes too far; he's straight to the point and tells you when you need to cut shit out

• outside of putting yourself in danger or disrespecting your dad though, he really just lets you be yourself. he admires the way you resemble different parts of your family's personalities even if others don't seem them as very admirable. he knows he isn't one to talk about minding manners or playing nice with others and he doesn't care to as long as you're safe and remember to show respect to the people that are looking out for you

#twd headcanons #twd #the walking dead #merle dixon #daryl dixon #daughter!reader #headcanon requests #uncle merle

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pigeon-behavior · 18 days ago

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What are some things to look for with accounts that post a lot about their pet pigeon? Like what can I look for to be sure the pigeon is being treated properly and not being abused/stressed for views? What are common questionable things you see accounts like those doing?

That is a REALLY good question, thanks for asking!

My take here probably won't be comprehensive, but I will at least try to give you a starting point to go off of.

Here are some red flags in pigeon social media content:

1. They have cross species content. A pigeon should not be interacting with any other species besides people on video. Nor in real life, honestly, but we're talking social media crimes. No other birds- not even ringnecks- and CERTAINLY no mammals. It's dangerous.

2. This can be a little tricky for the less experienced, but watching how someone interacts with their pigeon is key. Do they force interaction? Do they respect their bird? Is this light-hearted teasing that the bird doesn't mind, or are you looking at a freaked out animal? Or a freeze response? If you're not sure, ask around for opinions you trust on behavior. Sometimes it is the only way to make learning leaps.

3. Stupid decision making. You will probably know it when you see it. Bringing a pigeon outside with no harness. Talking about the freedom of birds and how they need to free fly outside. If it Seems like hawk bait, it probably is. (I don't mean that they do this on purpose, they don't. They are are in utter denial about deaths by hawk and their ability to prevent them by simply keeping their birds contained)

4. This one depends, but if you ever see content of a pigeon being held so that the general public can pet it without it being able to get away - usually a bad sign. I saw this connected to a very small rescue once and it was pretty appalling. These are touch adverse animals - you can't do that. And on that note-

5. Any form of advocating for 'struggle-cuddling', or holding the animal still until it stops fighting you, is a HUGE no. It is one of the fastest ways to learned helplessness, and also for some reason rampant advice in this fucking community. I'm bitter about it, obviously.

6. They shit on all breeding. It's not necessarily a sign of neglect but trust me, these are not people you want to be around.

Now, some GOOD things to look out for:

1. Excellent housing. You want to see a wider-than-tall space with a lot of solid perches not caked in 3 inches of gray-green cemented poop. Poop happens. They are birds. It gets dirty. But the cement is neglect. That took time.

2. They interact with their birds respectfully. Even if they might get a little silly with them, you won't see these birds getting squirrely and shying away. Consent does matter here.

3. They have primarily ethical breeds. The range of ethical is pretty wide here. But something like an extreme modena or extreme MOF (modern old frill, NOT the same as the classic old frill) might still show up in a regular loft, and that's okay. They need a home.

4. If they breed, they have some kind of plan. You might not even see it, but occasionally breeders will talk about what they want to do with their breeding project. And their plan shouldn't be fucking stupid. TRLs plan? Stupid. That isn't how breeding Works. So, someone with a brain in their head about this stuff.

5. Someone who is willing to euthanize an animal. Making a creature continue suffering through amputations or other surgeries that are too extreme for it... It isn't ethical. A pigeon can't survive long term with only one leg. We know this. Anyone who is trying to pretend differently is perpetuating suffering.

6. Someone who socializes any baby pigeons properly. That means no hand-raising, no people imprinting. Parent raising. Socialization techniques vary and most are valid.

7. Care more about the bird than the content they make. The bird shouldn't be a toy they force into situations for views.

Generally, just try to pay attention. Don't be afraid to ask someone you trust about what they think of an account. It can be hard to break out of the little echo chambers that start to form, but thinking critically about stuff like that will absolutely help you in the long term. Exposing yourself to better information and cutting off the bad stuff will advance you a lot farther.

A real quick body language lesson for you, on how to tell if a pigeon is comfortable.

A pigeon frozen in place, refusing to move, is not a happy pigeon. Their eyes may get wide and tight, their posture may be slightly tucked in and hunched. It can be easy to mistake them as a little sleepy if you don't know what to look for.

Sleepy don't look like that. Sleepy is loose posture, puffy feathers, squinty eyes, fluffy forehead, raised foot. Some or all of these.

Another sign of discomfort is more active defense. It might look like display dancing, but this bird is telling you to fuck off. They tend to dance and hop around more trying to avoid you, their necks will be stretched out really tall, their heads will dart around, they will interrupt themselves mid-coo to run away.

These are birds who are confident enough to tell you to go away, but still freaked out. I saw a video from a prominent rescue last week of such behavior where someone was "playing" with this poor guy who was totally boxed into his rescue crate with nowhere to go.

Pigeons need an exit route during intense interactions with us. You can't box them into a corner so they have nowhere to go.

A pigeon that WANTS to wrestle or what have you will not flinch away from you like this, or freeze like a rabbit. If you are wrestling and you pull your hand away, the pigeon should run up to your hand again if you offer it from a distance. If you are petting the pigeon, the pigeon should lean their head down, or groan, or nesty grunt, or puff their feathers up, or try to preen you!

This got a little long, but I genuinely hope that was helpful to you. And again, great question.

If you like my posts, please consider tipping me on ko-fi!

#pet pigeons #asks #pigeonblr #pigeon behavior #pigeons #companion pigeons

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strangestcase · 2 years ago

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For the people that are going to do Dracula Daily this year:

One of the subplots that Dracula covers, and arguably the most important subplot, is one centered around a psychiatric patient confined to an asylum- it touches upon the way he sees the world, his relationship with his doctor, and how he relates to and perceives the villain VS the heroes, since for most of the plot he believes the villain to be good and strives to serve him.

Both the patient and the doctor characters (who are part of the main cast and very important to moving the plot foward in their own ways!) are portrayed as sympathetic victims to the main villain and mostly on the side of good, but in different ways, and, of course, the way they are written is informed by the beliefs of the time.

I won't spoil anything too important about it, just warn you that this subplot depicts Victorian Era ableism, which is... pretty extreme, and forms of medical abuse (specifically, psychiatric abuse) that still exist today!

This plotline involves:

-depictions of hallucinations, delusions, and irrational thinking

-medical malpractice: delusions being encouraged, patients being dehumanized, prolonged use of dangerous restraints

-unsanitary behavior (eating live animals)

-ableist attitudes from most of the hero characters

(other Dracula fans pls tell me if I've missed something)

What do I make of this? you ask. Well...

Do not excuse medical abuse, even if it's fictional. The doctor character is, for all his medical malpractice, depicted as a complex person that has some likeable traits and he undergoes a pretty sad arc relating to loss and trauma, like most of the heroes of this novel. This doesn't make him any less of an abuser, nor makes his patient any less of a victim!

Refrain from using ableist language or rethoric. The patient character, being written for a very old horror book, is often depicted as "unsettling" and his strange behavior is sometimes played for horror. This 1) doesn't make his situation any less deplorable 2) doesn't make him any less sympethetic and most importantly 3) doesnt give you a free pass to treat him as a scary horror monster. He's a victim of both the real monster of this story and the system he lives in.

Listen to psychotic fans. Research the history of Victorian asylums. Understand the historical context. Look at this subplot from a holistic perspective instead of treating it as a horror story within a horror story (although, it is a horror story, but not for the reasons some think it is!). Just don't be a dick to disabled people.

If any part of this subplot triggers or squicks you, you are not obligated to read it, just be aware that it exists and that it is important to avoid perpetuating ableist stereotypes, be they present in the original text or not. (Hell, you are not obligated to read any part of the book if you don't want to do so. Dracula Daily is supposed to be fun. Analyzing literature is supposed to be fun. Enjoying literature is supposed to be fun!)

For the love of God, don't get angry if some fans dislike the doctor character for what he's done and take the patients' side. This was an issue during the last Dracula Daily run. He's literally the victim in this relationship. I'm not saying you can't like or dislike either character but I have to reiterate: do not erase either character's contribution to the plot, do not demonize the patient character for being mentally ill in an "ugly" way and beliveing the villain is good, and don't woobiefy the doctor character because he said a funny thing once. Both are complex adult human beings so don't expect them to be caricatures.

Do not be afraid to call out ableist behavior from other fans, but also be careful to not overstep or talk over disabled fans, especially psychotic fans.

During the Dracula Daily run, some blogs will warn about the entries in which this subplot takes place, and what triggers apply for each one of them. If you need those warnings, don't be afraid to reach out for them!

Happy reading!

#dracula daily #dracula #dracula daily 2023

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mins-fins · 12 days ago

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˖﹙🌊﹚FROM LITTLE WAVE

｡｡｡ what do you do when the guy you envy is also the guy you sort of have a crush on?

P ─ kim doyoung x m!rdr. G ─ alternative universe, cute lil choir student romance, fluff, light angst, comfort, happy ending. W ─ swearing, readers stuck in his thoughts for the most part, awkward but its apart of the charm. WC ─ 2.7k

you aren’t an idiot, you realized the imminent threat of joining the school choir.

and no, you don’t mean your fellow members are attempting a plan at your demise, that would be somewhat ironic considering the lack of danger expected from choir students, it’s actually something much smaller, a feat most would giggle at if you ever uttered it into the world.

insecurity.

right, how funny, the act of finding yourself less worthy to others because of vocal projection is absolutely amusing, when you relayed such a thing to your mother, she had trouble stifling her very own laughter. she did not dismiss your worries, simply stated that most people will not care whilst you’re vocalizing in unison with a group of other people.

you wished it was that easy, truly, your life would run much smoother if it disappeared in the sense adults always said it would.

you have never allowed for your envy to make too much face, it would be a disaster, from what you’ve learned about everybody in the same program as you, they greatly struggle to keep secrets. you once told jungwoo you had a crush on a cute upperclassman, who he then blurted the information to, completely eliminating trust you could have for him.

jaehyun would simply laugh, you suppose taeyong would be understanding, but he’s much too close to the person you’re having disturbing worries about.

disturbing is truly a strange word.

you have absolutely nothing against kim doyoung. kind, upstanding, unbearably yet adorably awkward kim doyoung, nothing personal about him irks you. he holds a pretty smile and bears even prettier eyes, his voice is to die fo— oh, yeah, there’s your problem.

he’s simply unbeatable, you can’t even allow for enough anger to fester for there to be a fit of genuine envy there, you can simply stare. though above average in your class, you aren’t a failure or anything, you just aren’t on his level.

“did you even hear what i said?”

you blink, now completely unfocused. when your met with unfazed irritation of kim jungwoo’s expression, you realize you probably made a mistake. “what?” you sputter, hands kept clasped together as you and a heavy sigh.

“i was talking about how much work song decided to assign and you were gawking at kim doyoung”.

you scoff, arms folding in your typical defense mechanism. “gawking is incorrect”.

“so what were you doing?”

“just.. looking”.

unfortunately, you’ve never prided yourself on your spectacular performance in relation to dishonesty, you might just be the worst liar in your program, and it’s clear jungwoo can see through it all, you’re afraid he may be a mind reader, or some sort of alien.

his eyes narrow in their usual suspicion, you nearly begin trembling at just the burning reach of his eyes, he’s crazy. “do you—”

“no” you snap, a finger pressing to his shoulder. “i know what you’re going to say, i do not have feelings for doyoung, you’re crazy”.

“ouch, my heart! can you believe it jaehyunie?”

though his corner of mutual support, jeong jaehyun seems to not care less about the peril lacing the current situation, he wasn’t even listening, that is indicated by his resulting flinch.

“can i believe..?”

it seems kim jungwoo is facing the same problem with that of ignorance in two different people, but you muse that he deserves it, just for being the captain of your irritation.

yet you can’t help the tensing of your shoulders when you hear the typical praise towards doyoung behind your back, well of course.

you aren’t jealous, it’s simply.. well, you can’t exactly pinpoint what you must be feeling. jealousy does not encapsulate how it all goes. the toppling of your stomach is puzzling, because for such an angelic figure, you cannot help the loose dread wavering in the air.

you pride yourself on your intelligence.. mostly, yet you feel as if you haven’t taken this situation in the most clever of ways.

you sneak over a glimpse, the other oblivious to your heavy stare. your eyes shut as you turn, something of slight irritation bubbling up inside of you. “fuck this..”

“language”.

you glare, jaehyun has no right to chastise. “sounds better coming from taeyong, you swear like a sailor”.

“better to hear it from someone used to it”.

you have to resist the very burning desire which entails flipping him off.

you’re aware of your lateness.

your backpack lies dormant against the nearby chair, yet you’re much too busy, you aren’t going to hear any incoming calls.

“oh, i wasn’t expecting for somebody to be here”.

your eyes don’t have to flit upward, you know who just entered, and maybe you hate yourself for having kim doyoung’s voice etched into your own brain, flowing through the bouts of your nervous system. you finish gathering everything you need, attempting to avoid eye contact whilst gazing at your bag.

you feel his eyes trailing you, yet he doesn’t comment on the strange nature of your expressions. “sorry, i know we aren’t supposed to be here after—”

“oh i won’t tell”.

your resulting stare betrays the genuine contentment you feel, but even the word ‘feel’ is its own stretch, it can’t be anger, though, because such a beauty harboring a feat of rage, that would only result in jealousy, you aren’t jealous of his features, you find them striking. “i simply got pretty distracted, i know studying in this room is.. you know, frowned upon”.

“well it provides silence for once”.

when you sling your backpack over your shoulder, you now are unable to avoid eye contact. your eyes flit against your will, and lord fuck kim doyoung, fuck his beautiful face, his beautiful voice, his— his everything!

but you aren’t exactly pissed, simply.. something. frustrated? annoyed? well annoyed sounds much too rude.

“yeah” your response is breathy. “it’s nice to escape jungwoo’s grasp from time to time”.

you begin picking at your fingers.

doyoung tuts, as if having a peculiar thought on his mind, you hope he isn’t reading your own, you’d shrink, hope to disappear, find a witch who could easily turn you into dust. “y/n”.

you enjoy his pronunciation of your name, slips off the tongue easily. “yes?”

“um.. did i do something wrong?”

you gaze, intent on keeping your truths to yourself, yet unable to resist crumbling under his gaze. “no..”

“i mean— i know we’ve never been friends but i really do feel like i did something wrong, you.. i feel like you glare?”

your eyes bug out indecisively, nothing but their typical dumbstruck manner. so he noticed, now he’s going to be angry, he’s absolutely pissed—

“i’m just curious”.

you again happen to be one of the worst liars in your program, completely given away by the irregular twitch of your facial expressions. you’re afraid he might ball up a fist, yet all he exudes is patience, a stark difference to the impression you expect.

but why would you expect disgust? sweet, tense kim doyoung could probably barely fathom even frowning at somebody, let alone punch you.

you aren’t good at lying, and also have little luck making accurate assumptions.

“i— uh.. well—”

terrific y/n, stutter, you’re making a good case for yourself there.

if you were doyoung, you would punch yourself, if not for your clear lack of confidence, then just for the fact of your weak speech.

“it’s not glaring, i just.. i can’t compare to you”.

he doesn’t seem to expect that one, the shock coloring his features much too obvious. “like uh.. physically?”

oh you hate yourself.

“no um.. well— it’s actually about uh.. vocal parts..”

doyoung remains silent for a moment, tilting his head to the side. you feel your face burn, heat manifesting in a red color staining your vain skin, it’s embarrassing to inherently admit such a thing to a person.

yet you realize that if you squint hard enough, you could just barely make out the identical shade painting his cheeks.

doyoung can’t seem to make out a response, so you opt to take the easy way out; “it’s late, my mother will be worrying, i’ll see you tomorrow”.

terrible choice of words, but you decide to turn anyway, practically running from the eyes of the guy you sort of maybe like but also horrific envy.

you almost trip on your own feet on the way out, you ensure a swear under your breath once you make your exit.

you hope he doesn’t see that one.

along with the lack of skill pertaining to lying, you cannot mask your emotions enough to feign clear normalcy,

because it’s extremely difficult to act all normal after vomiting up your guts right before practice. typically jungwoo would sneak in a quick quip, but he seems to sense the extent of your anxiety today, so he allows for it to remain inward.

your sleeves are stained with cool sink water, the chill of the outside hair sticking to your individual hair strands, they opt to stand upward instead of pressing softly to your skin.

“you don’t seem fine, are you sick?”

you allow for your eyes to flutter closed, head pounding as if you’ve had a crazy night, the pit in your stomach remains. “no i’m okay, just nervous”.

jungwoo quirks his eyebrow upward, puzzled. “really? throwing up is..”

“i’m fine, i can get through this..”

yet you stare into the bathroom mirror as if you fear something, or someone specifically.

no, it’s not like you fear doyoung, he’s practically harmless, jungwoo could probably murder you, taeyong would crush your skull between his hands, and jaehyun will shoot anything that even irks him in the slightest, considering your track record, doyoung’s technically the best person to be around.

you take in your appearance, yeah, you wouldn’t be surprised if the instructor gave you the early in to go home, your mother would barely even let you leave the house this morning, how you didn’t throw up there was a mystery.

just as you feel that maybe you should take the day off, your worst nightmare (a stretched hyperbole) walks in afterward. you just shoot your head quickly enough that you happen to catch a glimpse of the man who technically made you throw up everything in your stomach.

you would be pleased to blissfully ignore doyoung’s presence if not for him grabbing the spot beside you, the gleam of his own eyes reflected in the mirror, a gentle gaze which puts an astounding pit in your stomach.

you both remain an equal extent of silent, you close your eyes, pleading with the world for you to simply disappear from everything.. you may throw up once again, you really wouldn’t be surprised.

“am i bothering you?”

your eyes snap elsewhere. “you don’t have to leave, i’m just.. feeling strange”.

“are you sick?”

“kinda..”

you swallow down your whisper, anxious about quite literally everything, the room seizing you in its grasp and clogging your airways with filth, rendering you speechless against your will.

“i was thinking about what you said the other day”.

your hands brace the sink, maybe you should attempt to knock yourself out, do something drastic to escape this petrifying situation.

but doyoung is sweet, so sweet, he’s patient, and you aren’t donghyuck, so he has no problem with that action. your feet anxiously tap against the floor, his silence now freaking you out. “it was sort of mean to say..”

“no, i understand”.

you hope he isn’t just saying that to please you, the clear anxiety you exhibit must be bothering him.

“i just— i get how you feel..” he begins picking at his fingers, you still avoid his gaze. you catch the red hue painting his cheeks, strange, why would he be nervous?

“there’s no need for comparison, you’re spectacular, i think all the praise just comes from lee’s high standards”.

“if you keep heading that way you might rip your vocal cords”.

he chuckles enough that you feel slightly less stressed. “i think you should go home, you look..”

“yeah, i’m probably gonna vomit again”.

and really, you can’t help but glance his way this time, the particular gleam of his pupils somewhat adorable. he’s.. cute, much cuter than you expected anyway.

of course you’ve known people fawn over kim doyoung, but you now think the picture on why is explicitly clear.

you aren’t included in that group, though, just because you think he’s cute—

“take care of yourself y/n”.

you blush, looking away. “i will..”

maybe you forget to truly digest those words, because you simply revert back to your old tricks.

your parents fear the sudden vomiting episodes, so they practically keep you trapped at home until they’re sure you no longer have a ‘stomach bug’ (which was a lie you told them, though you guess your anxiety could equate as such),

and that lasts a good three days.

three days basically means you’re considered dead, jungwoo nearly dies without your presence, a prospect which is rich when ignoring traded insults, you suppose that’s his way of showcasing his love. you really thought jaehyun wouldn’t even flinch at the fact of your disappearance, yet he ensured that he sent you a cute smiley face over text.

“are you sure you’re alright?”

“yes, i’m okay, i can’t miss any more days” you state, tongue a bitter taste in your mouth. you miss any more days and jungwoo will probably strangle you, apparently something concerning how your presence helps with the betterment of his day.

you really just hope you get no sight of doyoung, yeah avoiding him won’t increase your chances of friendship, but you’re afraid you might say something stupid, might throw up, might give yourself away..

wait— what exactly would you give away?

in all honesty, you feel ridiculous, your situation comical, why are you afraid of a cute guy? woah, no, you aren’t afraid of him, you’re simply very avoidant of said cute guy.

just tell the guy you have a crush on him, jungwoo stated.

i do not have a crush on him, you replied, but you couldn’t escape the reach of his smile.

you scribble for a moment, just up until there’s a knock on your door.

you originally assume it’s your mother, but she never knocks, and neither does your father, so that eliminates both of them..

“um.. yes?”

the door opens, and it’s— oh.

doyoung blinks through widened eyes, arms hidden behind his back totally inconspicuously. he whistles, glancing around. “hi”.

you want to die, but it’s in a somewhat good way this time. you clear your throat, suddenly self conscious as you stand to your feet, not tripping this time.

god you’re a fucking loser.

“hi” you tuck a hair strand behind your ear. “this is funny, um.. i didn’t expect you to be here”.

“well” he pauses, uncharacteristic. “i was still thinking about what you said, and i realized my comfort probably wasn’t the best..”

“well it isn’t your fault, my own insecurities shouldn’t be taken out on others”.

“yeah but i still wanted to get you something” you peak, but doyoung doesn’t allow room for any more surprises, he moves his hands around and presents what he’d been hiding.

and yes, you did expect a flower bouquet, yet it really is the sweetest gesture ever. it’s silent, but it has an impact no matter what, you like flowers, and you especially love amaryllises, you don’t remember telling him that, you have to assume he got it from a friend. “you really didn’t have to”.

“sorry, just wanted to”.

“don’t apologize it’s so..” you pause to contemplate, maybe you should confess your love for him or something.

no, too early.

you simply admire for a moment, feeling the petals with the curvature of your own fingertips. you then glance upward, hoping you aren’t yet giving yourself away, that can be saved for another time.

“it’s so cute, you know how to flatter a guy”.

doyoung smiles, just the slightest bit flustered. oh, that’s cute.

“do you like them?”

“love them”.

you again extend your silence, but it’s a very, very, very importantly genuine silence. you’re still processing, still trying to manage the flurry of thoughts swirling throughout your mind.

“thank you, pretty voice, pretty personality huh?”

once again, he blushes. “my voice is pretty?” maybe it’s a bit cocky, but he clearly seeks out the compliment purposefully.

“very pretty, haven’t you heard?”

“well i like hearing it from you”.

#kim doyoung #doyoung #nct #nct 127 #nct u #doyoung nct #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #doyoung imagines #doyoung x reader #doyoung x male reader #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 x male reader #𑁍 ࣪˖ 𓂃 isa's works!

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ananiel · 5 months ago

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Thank You for The request @kanroji-san , hope You like this

Witch! Lisa! Reader from genshin impact x yandere mtp

(if anyone has any more request, feel Free to send them)

TW : yandere themes, death, manipulation, fake situation, electricity usage as a weapon (Reader’s vision)

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It was common knowledge that, across the seas, there's a group of people living in a world named Teyvat. Many people tried to get there, and those that did wrote books about the magical place that was filled with different creatures, technology and most importantly, vision holders.

This Discovery of a new, much better in the eyes of some, world became to spread as wildfire, so much so that the people of many countries such as England decided that the best way to secure an alliance with this people would be to gathered some people to go to their region, and also have some come to theirs.

Reader, a very important librarian from Mondstadt, was one of them. Oh, and what a sight was she to be hold, with her soft eyes and pretty smirk, how can he not fall for someone like her?

How can he not want to own her? To have her as his, to keep her away from the danger of the world.

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Mycroft Holmes

Very skeptical at first, not only of you, but of the whole situation in general. I mean, he's the governement, he needs to be on guard, always neat and at best version of himself.

But damn don't You hold him on his toes. You were hired as a secretary for him, to "help" with his workload, as You showed that You were in fact, very smart, but only think could equal your smartness, and that is lazyness.

He was getting frustrated with You, he could tell You were smart, he could tell that You knew what he meant when he asked You to do a certain thing, but You were lazy, and acted on it. He saw You napping on the desk, flutering the pages of that floating book of yours and what annoyed him the most : your flirting.

"can you-" "no dearie, i simply can not" he groaned, and You playfully zaped him with a little electicity

You. Drove. Him. Nuts.

IT was so annoying and so... And so... Why are You calling some lowly workers "dearie"? He thought he was Your dearie, no one else, him, You can't just replace him!

But it's okay, he can play the waiting game, he can, spread false rumours, watch them grow, isolate You from others.

But that cursed iteligence of yours, You caught up, too bad that before You could run back to Teyvat, he had already set up a trap

You were smart, he couldn't deny it, maybe as smart as him, but he had the whole country, You had nothing on your name side from what was given to You by him.

That secured his place as dearie, yours and yours alone, just like you were now his

Albert james moriarty

A new addition to the M16, You were clearly something else, and Albert saw that very quick. You were smart, You were difrent, You were a breath of fresh air... But You were lazy, and so flirty.

You reminded him of Moran so much...

He loved being called "cutie" it made him feel... Warm. And what i think is that you could see through his polițe smile that hides malice of the society pretty well, and You weren't trying to hide that fact, quite the contrar actually

You teased him, You teased his patience by being so careless, he was scared to leave You go one mission alone, afraid You would die and he would have your blood on his hands... Not that it was his deepest concern if You were hurt, but You were important to the country, your death could atract undesired attention to him and his brothers. He couldn't risk it.

So he stayed close, thinking that as a lady, you'd easily fall for his charm, and he could move You to the side, to make sure nothing wrong happens.

How wrong he was.

The more time he spent with You, the more did he start liking those nicknames, those stolem glances and the way You would lazily let the book float around You, that was his adiction. You

You were the air he needed, sweeter than any wine, difrent than any women he had seen faun over him.

Speaking about wine... He's so so glad You accepted his invitation for a drink... After all, a drug taken in wine is much harder to notice, even with your inteligence

Sherlock Holmes

It was not often that he visited mycroft's place, but when he did, he certainly wasn't expecting You, lazily looking at him as You leaned on the railway of the stairs.

You were so breath taking, John noted, but sherlock didn't really pay to mind, he was more preocupied with the shiny purple thing that You had, the vision, as You said, when You followed his gaze.

At some Point, You weren't even sure if he was staring at the vision, or your chest.

You did... Help him in some way, well, You told him where that thing that he wanted was, but other than that, You simply watched.

He's a Detective, it's normal for him to be courious, he tells himself as he walks up to mycroft's house again, having "forggoten" a piece of paper there, and seeing You again

He is a Detective, is normal to start questioning things about You, and try deducting some.

Soon, he knew more about You than he knew about himself, and he still felt like it wasn't enough, he felt that... He felt like... He felt like those monsters from Mondstadt don't deserve You.

AND neither does his brother! Have You seen how much he insults You?! Everytime he does it, sherlock wants to slap him.

He's a Detective, he feels that You, his darling, as he is yours, are so so precious, when You see him bloody, bloody with Milvertron's blood, and his corpse at your feet.

Why are You acting like that darling? He was protecting You! That man was spreading false rumours about You! He HAD to do something!

William james moriarty

Oh, oh, look at you, his sweet, sweet salvation, making him forget about being the lord of crime!

He met You at Durham university, You were the New librarian after the first one retired.

He heard rumours going on around about You

"the New librarian is so beautifull!"

"She calls me her cutie! Oh, i wish father would accept me marrying a vision user!"

That was all he heard his students talking about, and as they say, curiosity killed the cat.

He told himself that he needed some books too, and that would be the best way he would meet you.

With You lazily snoring on the librarian table, he couldn't help but stare at You, taking in each and everyone of your features.

(He couldn't blame his students for talking so much about You, he would be joining them, if it weren't for them talking about his colague)

His hand moves a stray hair away from your face, and that's when You woke up, You chated, if the maybe 4 lines could be considered a chat, and that's when You dropped that sweet nickname "dear one"

He told himself that what made him seem You out so much was that You were from a whole difrent world, that he could learn some things, Yes, Yes, that's why he was following you, why he spent all of his breaks at the library, and why, when he heard that Milvertron was trying to take You out of the country... He couldn't ignore it, You were nice, You were sweet, You didn't deserve that.

You were so sweet, so cute, backing away from him when You witnessed him murdering the man, when You threathened to use the your electro vision on him, but no amunt of thunder would make him let go of your hand, as he pulled You softly, closely to him and kissing your forehead.

Why are You so scared? It's your dear one!

Louis james moriarty

Hm, this one shall happen in the three years where Louis is alone, i mean, without his brothers.

I mean, he saw You around before that, he even has a nickname "sweetie pie", but he couldn't aford getting to close to You, he would lose his focus and make faults, after all, his brother needed him and he couldn't aford to let him down

Yes... He won't lie and say that he didn't, push his knife one-two many times in the stomach of the man that had tried to hurt you, but that was nothing, that was nothing, he was still loyal to William

After William is gone tho... He knows that he needs someone smart to help him with strategies, sure, You were lazy, but You were smart, and he needed You.

Needed You for mission, certainly not for his own sick pleasure, certainly not to watch You sleep, and if You wake up to him he would brush it of as saying "i need help with the plan, now if possible"

He quickly grew protective of the fact that You were difrent, difrent was bad in those times, You could get hurt, burned to the stake, Louis couldn't have that.

Also... Acidents happend with your... Slightly revealing clothes, a thief strangly only stole yours, Louis Accidently spilled something that might not come off... Yeah, accidents, but oh don't worry... He can lend You those beautifull clothes... What? What do You mean they have some traits on them that make people think You are his wife?

Very weird, indeed.

Oh no, he came bloody from a mission, Yes, a mission. If he heard of the death of the one that wanted to go on a date with You? Oh no, no he didn't.

He smiles, petting your back as he walks back to the basement, the man sitting tied up on the floor, a bag full of weapons close to him, but before he could grab any-

"Sweetie pie, Louis! The door is locked and i can't find the key!"

He Will returned to the man, but right now, his darling needs him

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