#sitting in my mom’s car
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#this is what I mean#sitting in my mom’s car#being 16#knowing I will never be 16 forever#ribs#lorde#lyrics#photos#photography#I WANT IT BACK I WANT IT BACK#THE MINDS WE HAD#pure heroine#quotography#my photos#🪼#⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅
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Yes, I did ask for a new CD book for Christmas in the year 2024! The 00's are back, I guess, and you'll have to pry my physical media out of my cold dead hands.
(also I'd like to fit more than 6 cd's in my car, thanks)
#even if I only listen to the same cd for 3 months straight I want OPTIONS lmao#anyway I definitely used to own several of these#but not any more and the sunshade holder my mom had sitting around didn't fit my car SO#so I picked this one out on eBay for the genuine nostalgia factor rather than buying new#it's vintage Walmart 😆#bec posts#cd#music#from instagram#bookstagram#booklr
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i think i got very lucky with my parents :,)
#everytime i think they don’t understand how im feeling they always do something that proves me wrong#we were planning to stay over at a relatives house and then we had dinner on their bed that we were supposed to sleep in and my fear of food#and fear of contamination couldn’t deal with that so i told my dad over whatsapp and he said okay then we’ll go :(#also i was feeling very tearful one morning and i called my dad upstairs and asked him to take me to a mental health professional because i#was on the verge of a panic attack and he sat next to me while i ate and took me to a doctor immediately after:(#because i ran out of my medicine#my mom is the same :( she actively tries to get me out of situations where food is involved like if my cousins ate something and didn’t wash#their hands afterwards she makes me sit in the front seat of the car so nothing accidentally touches me and flares up my obsessive thoughts#and anxiety :(#i feel so bad when they do this because i feel so fucking stupid for feeling like this in the first place but it does feel very very real#and dangerous:( i don’t know how to stop:(#like if anyone eats i feel so happy for them but if i make contact with them i feel physically disgusting#so if other people eat in their bed i’m fine with that but i just can’t sleep in that bed afterwards#my parents are the same people who held me in their arms and cried with me when i said i really really wanted them to let me die:(#so i really really love them :(#✉️
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y'all i just got done watching the first ep of the heart killers with my mom. we were having the time of our lives. in fact, we took about 2h to get through the entire ep bc we kept replaying specific parts and discussing them. safe to say that we WILL be watching ep2 jdfgjsdjkgd
#airenyah plappert#thk#mama schaut adrm#mama schaut thk#adrm#my mother's review: ''i kinda miss first's smile in this :( ''#(ok no but apart from that we were laughing so much during the entire ep ESP during the stylefadel antics)#(or just. about style in general)#(like the way he more or less fucks kant's car. PLS it's so good)#(yes that WAS one of the parts we had to replay like 2-3 times bc we were laughing so much dfkjkdfg)#(my mom was like ''it's interesting how dunk plays this‚ it's like he's touching a lover'' and yeah. IT'S SO GOOD THANK YOU DUNK)#(i think we also watched every single scene of fadel reacting to kantbison twice dgfkdskjkjg)#(including the scene where fadel talks to kant after he catches him kneeding bison's ass like it's dough)#(and ofc we also rewatched the part where style shows up at the diner with all the audacity)#(AND FADEL CONTEMPLATING MURDER WHILE STYLE FEARLESSLY SITS THERE COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS TO IT)#(anyway yeah. time of our lives i'm telling you)
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I think suguru has one of those moms that like expect u to let her in the delivery room while ur having a baby
#riv rambles#those. moms#does that make sense#those moms that hug the son first before he can hug his wife during gender reveals#and they want to come stay over 24/7 when the baby is here when u both should be enjoying some time alone w ur baby for the first few weeks#or she wants to sit in the front passenger seat if he’s ever driving and all 3 of u are in the car#she’s one of those boy moms#you know the ones#the ones you’d write the AITA for snapping at my MIL? Reddit posts about#and everyone collectively agrees ur MIL should die and ur not wrong#and they all wonder if she borderline wants to fuck her own son#yeah#anyway I need to be asleep what am I doing#cw pregnancy#cw labor
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Rob James-Collier | Ackley Bridge
#rob james-collier#robert james-collier#rob james collier#robert james collier#martin evershed#ackley bridge#mine#these have been sitting in my drafts for 84 years#i've got a few requests in my inbox and i promise i'm not ignoring ya just gotta get in the zone to gif#i'm glad sam's mom blew his car up#not that there's anything wrong with a little duct tape but bc martin deserves only the finest things including a shiny new ride#speaking of rides#he's on my bucket list
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letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!
#today was touch and go but overall much better than yesterday where i was watching a musical (not my thing) and it was legally blonde (cool)#but everyone's voices were so shrill (ouch) and the audience was clapping (ouch) and talking a lot (ouch)#and i was three rows back from the stage so the lights were bright (ouch) and there were strobe lights (ouch) and the person seated next to#me kept touching me when she turned to talk to the person next to her..... AND my joints were killing me but we had to walk everywhere from#the theatre to the restaurant we ate at for dinner. which was a byob. and i didn't know we were going to a byob or i would've b'd my own b#but my bf's family doesn't drink so it would've been awkward anyway. and no one talks to me and i don't talk to anyone but yet i'm expected#to be there for some reason (??) i'd rather stay home honestly. horrible time. i couldn't even vape because of said family#so i had zero pain or anxiety relief that whole time. and i had the longest meltdown in the theatre. and i couldn't finish bc intermission#so i had to just like. force it down so i could sit there in silence for 15 minutes while everyone else talked to each other.#and then after all that we still had a 40 minute car ride back home. with my bf's mom.#and then today she invited us to the park with her and my bf was like 'do you wanna?' and i couldn't say no in front of her so i said yes#and then felt SO anxious because god. i just needed A Day. so then i shut down. but then i communicated what i was needing to my bf#and we had a nice walk at a different park on our own. phew#i do Not mean to complain but goodness. pre-autism i would've blamed myself for everything that happened#but now i can properly commiserate with people who understand me LOL anyway. look at some of the crazy shit i went through yesterday
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something lowkey funny about me getting into a minor car crash while reading a hijack fanfic (i’m okay dw 👍🏽)
#my mom was the one driving and amidst me giggling#a car just hits the front passenger seat side where i was sitting like helloooooooo#we were going so slow too..#😭😭😭#no one’s hurt DWW#but the front face of the other person’s car is smasheddddd#jackshiccup text#the fic was deathsong cries update btw LMFAO#thank god my moms car sturdyyyy as hell#heehee time to read force of habit
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love that i applied for a job back in may, dont interview for it till july, i think it went p well, told i wont hear back till near the end of august just to be told i didnt get it im so sick of job hunting and just want to blow my brain out and be done with it
#every fuckin day i apply to like 10 fuckin jobs at least and every fuckin day i get fuck all#what boils my piss more is like every other day my mom calls me to ask if i have a job yet#and ive told her its very demoralizing to have to keep saying no and ill tell her i got one#but she doesnt give a shit and then lectures me about how im not trying hard enough#work for the local voting stuff! oh you mean the shit that requires a car? haha! yeah man lets do that#i want to fuckin die man im so fuckin tired of this shit i havent been happy in months i just apply to jobs and rot in my apartment#im so fuckin bored and so fuckin tired of just existing barely fuckin living#cant do fuck cause i have no money just sit in my apartment and think about how much better things would be if i fucked off and died
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My family has such a special ability to stress me out so bad
#my mom had a minor foot surgery a weekish ago#shes fine but she cant drive herself#she asked me to take her to wallgreens#ok. my sister came for some reason. why ?? just to annoy me#my mom had to critique my driving#my sister is asking for coffee all covert like so as to not ask in front of me but is still obviously asking in front of me#they are talking so much its getting on my nerves. i said im gonna sit in the car for a minute before i go inside#my dad came out???#bc i texted him earlier that i wanted to watch dw#so he told me he's ready to watch it whenever i am#ok. why didnt he just text me#i opened the car door to talk to him#the fricking alarm went off#and i dropped the key under the seat#when i put the key in he was like you could've just turned it on you didn't need to start it#ok!!!!!!!!!#i want to scream!!!!!!!!!#and nothing even that bad happened!!!!!!!!#im still sitting in car . 🙂
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I’m tired of being treated like a fucking child. I’m going to be 21 in less than 2 weeks. I need to get out of here.
#I am legitimately not able to leave the house at night AT ALL without getting in trouble#I was gone for maybe 15 minutes and out of my car for 1 or 2 and got a text lecture from my mom#I wasn’t even in a sketchy part of town#the fucking alarm chime thing on our front door woke her up and she tracked me on life360#I am an adult#Fuck i don’t even have people to hang out with or anything fun to do that isn’t on my computer#god forbid i go to the park for 5 minutes at night to release the mice i caught so they don’t have to sit in a bucket all night#lesley time#vent
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA my dad is dead
#grief is insane because i always forget and my sister still cries and my mom still hasn’t shed a single tear#i always completely forget until it hits me like a car crash and i have to sit and breathe#my sister still cries and mourns and is gradually getting better#and my mom hasnt cried once because she grieves for me and my sistser instead of realising its her loss too#ive only had one parent since i was seventeen but now its like. i actually only very genuinely have one living parent#one of the people that had me and raised me is dead#im 27 and i only have one living parent#dead dad diaries
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was literally so excited and nervous today walking into my naturalization appointment that i drove 2 and a half hours only to walk out on a failed civic exam can you believe this shit
#sitting in my car fuming but also laughing cause my mom passed it on the first try with english as her fourth language and im over here in#my second year of college after living here for 20 years
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anyone else's ocd as soon as a loved one doesn't answer them for a while unexpectedly just immediately assume that they're for sure dead?
#i will always sit there crafting narratives in my mind where my mom or girlfriend got into a brutal car accident or some shit#bc they did not answer a text#woof.
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Getting inspired by fanfics is crazy bc why am I pepe slyvia'ing together a massively filled out world ans lots of characters for a brand new very complex story about the nuances of stalkholm syndrome and how horrible it is to be the "lucky" bride to wealth with plently of body horror and dysmorphia... bc of an egg preg fic 💀
#disclaimer im not into this shit I MISSES A LOT OF TAGS AND I WAS LOOKING AT THE FOURYH WALL SO I HARD I COULDN'T NOT KEEP GOING#IT WAS LIKE A CAR CRASH#not as bas as when I found the worst chisaki fic in the existence of ever ans my friend actually almost got evicted for reading it on#their moms wifi at like 3 AM bc of timezones and i was kinda just sitting thwrw rocking back and forth with my own socks shoved into my mot#mouth to stiffle the wails of agony and confusion because omf#o.g. gi.#girl.#THE CHRONOHAUL ABORTION FIC WAS PRETTY BAD TOO#quirk misuse#misuse of clock hair#birth trauma#pour me a damn beer
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Yall know whats crazy? I grew up in an actual haunted house lmao. Most of my friends wont even come over to my moms house now a days. My roommate hates it there
The phone is literally not plugged in to anything (it’s an older style that isnt wireless) and it will ring. And I mean it’s not plugged into the phone line or power.
Old clock chimes. Never mind that the chimes r just sitting in it not strung up.
Locked out? But that door is a deadbolt?
Ah yes the person who is standing in the kitchen looking out the window. Never mind that the sink and counter are in the way. (Got a photo of this one but the ghost only remained in it for a year before it disappeared)
Foot steps behind u in the hall? Don’t use the end bathroom then cause u will have no privacy. One of my friends had the door open then close while he was in there smh.
Random shadow hand covering up tour phone screen? Time to leave.
Don’t bring keyboards in this house if you aren’t ready to see them type. Don’t being computers if you don’t like the blue screen.
Do not sleep here unless you are ready to sleep like a coma so the ghost can’t wake you up at 2am.
Do not be here unless you are ready to be watched and never alone ( menacingly)
#no joke yall#she had a wireless phone that kept ringing so I took the battery out of it and it still kept ringing#I got locked out for hours then it let me back in once it got dark#ghost said go play outside child smh#the grounds are spooky too btw#the woods call to me#they say shes here help her she needs your help#and I listen but never go#sometimes#I am literally sitting jn my car outside my moms house too scared to go in but I was washing clothes here and I have to go in snd get them#for work#smh why wont anyone pick up my phone calls so I can have support with me
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