#sirilily

[gruumpy-cat]

i don't need your love, i just want a taste.

and if i get burned, at least we were electrified

title: you're ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece characters: lily evans, sirius black ships: lily evans/sirius black rating: m

read it in you’re ripped at every edge but you’re a masterpiece at @fanfictalk | linked in my stories/story info

[wandlores]

Thirteen and Counting

Pairings: Petunia Evans x Regulus Black | Lily Evans x Sirius Black Words: 13,385 Chapter Six/? - Lily’s POV  You can read all previous chapters here. Trigger warnings: Brief sexual encounters, death mentions, abuse mentions. 

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8 Years Earlier 

Lily’s sweet sixteen had passed by without a word from her sister; it was something they had dreamed of celebrating for her together when they were kids. The bitterness kept rising in the back of her throat whenever she thought about it, but she was thankful Alice was always there as her roommate to keep it off of her mind. She had almost forgotten about her sister completely, it seemed like, or that’s what she tried to tell herself. It was when she saw her sister’s name pop up on her cell phone’s caller-ID that she was startled and sadly reminded.

She considered not answering her sister's call. Fuck Petunia, she thought. Ignoring her for four years meant she did not deserve the light of day. However, she secretly missed her sister too much to not let her phone call intrigue her. She decided to answer. 

“Hello?” 

All she could hear was Petunia’s breathing at first; she could hear Petunia's breath hitch right after she spoke her first word. It was like she was shocked to hear Lily’s voice at all.

“Lily,” Petunia started, no greeting, no nothing. Lily shouldn’t have been surprised, “Aunt Penelope is dead. There was a robbery at her work and she-” 

Lily listened for Petunia’s despair, but there wasn’t any. She just stopped talking. The silence was deafening. Lily realized Petunia was now legally an adult; this meant that it was all her responsibility. 

“I suppose you’re calling to tell me about a funeral then?” Lily questioned. She didn’t want to go, but a part of her was drawn to go. She would secretly do anything to see her sister once more.

“Yes,” Petunia replied, “It’s in a week. I have already made arrangements with Headmistress McGonagall for you.” 

Lily glanced over to Alice sleeping on the bed across from her. She was jealous that she didn’t have to deal with this constant loss that seemed to be Lily’s constant companion. She was never close with her Aunt Penelope; she blamed Petunia for that, too. It was easier to blame Petunia than think about the fact that her Aunt maybe never wanted to give her a chance to be her family, too. 

“I suppose I’ll see you then. You don’t need to pick me up, I’ll take the bus.”

Lily did not hear what Petunia was going to say next, because she hung up the phone to cry, not for the loss of her Aunt, but for the loss of her sister once again. 

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A week had passed and Lily got off the bus down the street from the funeral home. She watched as members of the community filed in for her Aunt’s funeral. She didn’t recognize any of them, she realized. I guess that happened when you never visited home. 

Her black combat boots squeaked across the floor as she entered the building. Older individuals turned to look at her with annoyance, but it didn’t seem to matter when she saw her sister. Petunia’s hair was now past her shoulders; she had always kept it short like Lily’s when she was younger. Lily realized she hadn’t changed much, and she self-consciously tucked a short strand of her red hair behind her ear.

Her sister was beautiful as always; Lily always thought she was the beautiful one. She tried to bury her jealousy down along with her bitterness. It did not work well.

When Petunia caught her eye, she slowly walked towards her. She gave her sister a very awkward hug. Lily did not return it.

“It’s so good to see you,” Petunia told her, “It has been way too long.”

Because of your own choice, Lily thought, but she didn’t say anything. She just crossed her arms and looked anywhere but at her sister so she wouldn’t cry. 

“The ceremony is about to start,” Petunia told her, “I-I would like if you would sit with me.”

Lily wanted to lash out; she wanted to scream no. She wanted to tell her that her and Aunt Penelope were no longer her family, but then she saw that a lot of guests were watching their conversation. Lily already stuck out like a sore thumb as it was, so she swallowed down her anger and just nodded. She pulled her father’s cap out of her book bag for strength. Petunia didn’t comment on it as they sat down.

The ceremony was long, and Petunia gave a very robotic speech. Lily wondered what happened to her sister’s passion. The only thing that was the same about her sister was her blonde hair pulled back into a braid that was now longer and her fiddling with the bottoms of her shirt sleeves like she always had done when she was nervous.

The burial was quiet as well. Petunia did not shed a tear and neither did Lily. Lily wondered when her sister had become so cold; she would think she would cry over her Aunt who had become her constant companion. 

Their Aunt’s friends were the only ones that cried. They came and comforted Petunia as they ignored Lily. It was like she had never existed.

Once Petunia was wrapped up in conversation with one of Aunt Penelope’s old friends, Lily took that as her opportunity to walk away. 

As Lily rounded the corner of the cemetery towards the willow tree where she saw her parents graves, she lit a cigarette that was in her book bag. 

As she took a puff, she was startled when she heard footsteps behind her. It was Petunia. It appeared that all the rest of the funeral guests had left to mourn privately. 

“When did you start smoking?” Petunia asked her. For once, her tone wasn’t filled with judgment, just curiosity.

Lily grunted, “Why does it matter?” If you only saw me, you’d know, Lily thought, but she didn’t say anything.

Petunia didn’t answer her but held her hand out. Lily knew she wanted one too, so she pulled one out of her book bag and handed it to her along with her lighter. She watched as her sister lit the cigarette. She coughed like it was her first time smoking one, and this made Lily smirk. 

They stood there in silence as they looked at their parent’s graves. Neither of them cried; maybe they were both numb to the pain now. Or maybe Petunia was as emotionless as she now appeared. Lily just knew she had cried herself dry throughout all the years of loneliness she endured.

The willow tree covering their parent’s grave was thriving; it made her think of the walks she used to take with Petunia and her mother through the cemetery when their father was at work. It would seem like a morbid way to spend time with your mother to most, but it was some of Lily’s fondest memories of her mum. It was when they let their imaginations run wild as they honored the dead.

“Willows are still my favorite trees,” Petunia told her as she broke the silence, “I wish mum and dad would have named me Willow instead of Petunia. If I had a daughter of my own, I would name her Willow.”

Petunia had never told Lily that before; maybe it was a new development with age. Maybe she came to this spot often while Lily never got the chance.

Lily chanced a glance at her sister; she hoped she would not be looking back at her, but she was. Petunia always had a knack for knowing what Lily was thinking even when she didn’t want her to. It was endearing as a child, but now after years without talking, it was unnerving. 

“I want you to stay at home with me,” Petunia confessed, “If you want to, I mean. I know I haven’t been there, but there is so much you don’t know. If only you will let me explain-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Lily silenced her, “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Petunia insisted.

Lily took a deep breath as she put her cigarette out. She put it in a plastic bag in her book bag in order to preserve her parent’s gravesite. 

“Why do you want me home? You wanted nothing to do with me for years.”

Petunia didn’t respond at first. She just flicked her cigarette. 

“Because we can start over.”

Lily should have argued more; she should have refused after all her sister had put her through, but she didn’t. Instead, all she answered with was, “Okay.” 

Present Day 

As Lily now ran through the forest, she thought about the day her sister promised they could start over. She lied then, too. Her sister was as absent as ever as Lily finished high school at home. Petunia was constantly working to support them, but she didn’t even try to explain why she had abandoned her years before, and Lily didn’t push for answers. Lily’s constant high school rebellion was begging for her sister to talk to her, yet she wasn’t there and didn't seem to care. She just worked diligently all hours of the day and provided Lily with cash when she needed it. Lily moved out when she was eighteen and hadn’t seen her sister since until a few weeks ago. The thought annoyed Lily that Petunia only seemed to show up when the world was turning to shit for her, one way or another. 

Lily finally stopped to catch her breath under the cover of a tree. The rain was still falling, and her red hair was stringy and sticking to her cheeks. Her father’s cap wasn’t protecting her face from the storm. She didn’t expect it would, anyway. 

She was suddenly startled when she heard a branch snap behind her. She turned around and grabbed her father’s pocket knife out of her pocket. It was one of the only weapons the whole group had now, she realized.

Sirius walked out from behind a tree a few feet behind her with his hands up. Lily rolled her eyes at the sight of him. 

“Why did you follow me?” She asked him. She was annoyed, she wanted to be alone. Hence, walking off and then running through the trees.

“I was pissed too,” he told her, “And I wanted to see if you were okay.”

“How noble of you.”

For once, he approached her hesitantly, “Look, I’m pissed at my brother and your sister as well, but I don’t think you should be so hard on Petunia. I think she-”

“Like you aren’t that harsh towards Regulus?” Lily argued back, “I don’t need a hypocritical lecture.”

“I do sound like a hypocrite, and I will admit my tactics with Regulus are… intense, but I have my reasons.”

“So do I,” Lily said, “Don’t assume otherwise.”

She crossed her arms from the cold, and Sirius noticed, “Do you want my jacket?”

Yes, Lily thought, but she replied, “No, I’m fine.”

She watched as Sirius took a deep breath and now sat in the rain with his back against a tree. Lily followed suit.

They were silent for a while and just listened to the rainfall until Sirius spoke up, “Do you want to know why I hate my brother so much?”

Lily shrugged. She was ridiculously curious, but she wouldn’t push. She didn’t want to seem eager to know anything about him. Letting people in was not something Lily practiced proactively. 

Sirius took that as a yes, and he began his story, “My brother was a prodigy as we grew up. He was younger, he was looked at as better looking, and my mother was obsessed with him. She hated me and wanted me to live up to my brother’s expectations. Naturally, I rebelled,” he smirked at the comment, “But that did not get her off my back, and my scars are there to prove it.”

Sirius lifted up the side of his shirt and jacket to show scars of lashes. Without thinking, Lily leaned forward to brush them lightly with her fingers. She watched as Sirius’ skin rose up into goosebumps. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and watched her. Gently, she pulled her hand back.

“I’m sorry,” she told him, “I-I can’t imagine.”

Sirius continued on, “My brother never did anything to stop her, he just-he just continued to be the perfect son. I’m just bitter I guess, and then when James died..”

His voice trailed off. 

“Who is James?” Lily asked him.

She watched as a tear trailed down Sirius’ face. 

“He was my best friend, along with Remus and Peter. Peter is gone now too, but James.. he-he died in a car crash. I was driving to pick up Regulus from his violin lessons to try and gain approval from my mother. I-I have truly hated my brother more ever since. The other driver was drunk. It-it wasn’t my fault but I can’t help but blame myself.”

“It was not your fault,” Lily told him fiercely, “Life is unfair and there are circumstances you can’t control. I understand completely.”

The rain had settled down now to a gentle sprinkle. Sirius pushed back his long hair from dangling in his face. Lily noticed how beautiful his eyes were, and she could not look away.

“How do you understand?” He asked her quietly. She could barely hear him. It was like the wind had been knocked out of him. 

“Petunia and I lost our parents in a car crash as well, so unexpectedly. Petunia promised she would always be there for me, and she had been, until I needed her most. She sent me away to an academy and kept my Aunt Penelope all to herself. I only came home once my Aunt died, and even then… Petunia was no longer there. She tries to play a protector now that the world has gone to shit, but she has never protected me. I have only fended for myself and I-”

But Lily did not finish. Her words trailed off, and she just looked into Sirius’ eyes once again. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Lily had forgotten everything; what her bitterness was and why it was there. All that mattered in that moment was Sirius looking back at her and understanding. He was the first person that ever did, and for once, she didn’t feel alone. She knew she had only known him for a short time, but it felt like a lifetime. Lily was not sure what came over her next; she had always been impulsive, but never quite this brave.

She leaned forward and kissed his lips. Her hand cupped his face. He didn’t respond at first, until suddenly his hand was tangled in her hair and her father's hat fell into her lap. She pushed her father’s hat to the side as she now straddled Sirius’ lap. Everything was happening so fast, but it was natural, it was right. The warmth of Sirius’ body pressed against her allowed her heart to beat faster. She had never felt this alive since she had lost her parents. 

He didn’t need to say anything more; he laid down on his back into the dirt as Lily peeled her wet shirt off of her body. His calloused hands rubbed her hips as she unbuttoned his pants and thrusted her hips into his. She watched his lips form a moan and call out for her. Pleasure rushed through her body as she gripped his shoulders for support. It was passionate; it happened quickly. She wanted to replay it over and over again, but now she laid down in his arms and closed her eyes. He gently ran his fingers through her hair. This was the safest she had ever felt.

“That was.. You are.. Incredible,” he whispered into her ear.

She smiled against his chest in a way so he couldn't see her face, “Don’t make me regret it, bastard,” she teased. 

They laid like that for a while until the moon rose and the clouds disappeared. The stars were bright that night after the storm they had endured earlier in the day. 

Lily put her father’s cap back on as they walked back to camp. She kept her distance from Sirius now, and he didn’t ask. She knew he understood. 

When they arrived back to where they left Regulus, Remus, and Petunia all they saw was Regulus pacing frantically and Petunia trying to talk him down.

“What is happening?” Sirius asked.

It was then that Lily noticed Remus was nowhere in sight.

“Where is Remus?” She asked.

Regulus didn’t dare glance at Sirius as he ran his hands through his hair, so it was Petunia that answered, “He went hours ago after you left to find firewood, but he hasn’t been back since. We fear he is lost.. Or worse… dead.” 

[lilyjaneevans-potter]

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- what your muse’s name is in mine’s phone - The Other Man - what your muse’s ringtone is in mine’s phone -  You’re So Vain by Carly Simon  changed to Night Fever by the Bee Gees - my muse’s last text to your muse - “I don’t know the exact second that James will be here but I’m starting to take it as an insult that you refuse to show up beforehand” - what your muse’s picture is in mine’s phone

[chdarling]

Your Sirius and Lily are very shippable. Actually. Very. In another universe i can imagine them being a volatile and toxic couple together who spit fire at each other but can't leave the other. Sorry if this got out of hands. Jily is sweet water and sirilily is burning alcohol if you get my meaning. Wolfstar is like that meal which makes you feel like crying. How many more chapters do I have to tolerate Florence? She's not like evil but she's annoying as hell

I’ve decided to respond with what the characters in this universe’s reactions would be 😂

James:

Sirius:

Lily:

Remus:

Florence:

[thejilyship]

HC: lily and Sirius were super close before she and James started dating.

Yes! I love me some Sirilily or Sirily or what have you. And I like to think that they were friends. I mean, they got the whole troubled relationship with their siblings going on and they’re both dorks ad I feel like they’d get along really well. They bond over junk food at 1am in the kitchens and maybe commentate some Quidditch games together bc that sounds like it’d be a good time. He definitely hit on her for James sometimes and she just thought it was hilarious.

Send me hcs!

[the-lioness-marlene]

au meme: Sirius/Lily requested by captain—jamespotter

[wandlores]

so... here are some friendship headcanons about sirius and lily for @avadas birthday! happy birthday, jae!! i’m pretty sure it’s a day early, but that’s okay.

sirius and lily first became friends over thelr love of poetry.

lily obviously did not think much of the marauders for a long time, other than remus. 

but by their fifth year, sirius started struggling from insomnia, so he was always up in the gryffindor common room reading by candle light.

one night, lily came down and noticed he was reading some wizarding poetry and asked him about it.

he shared his book with her, and then she started sharing muggle poetry with him.

they didn’t talk much as they hung out together during the night, but lily made the nights much more bearable for sirius.

what sirius didn’t know was that lily was having trouble sleeping too. so much was going on with petunia and severus.

after about three months of reading together every night in silence, sirius finally asked her if that made them friends.

all lily did was smile, read him a poem, and then they both fell asleep on the couch for the first time, with sirius’ head on her shoulder.

that was the only way sirius could sleep for months. 

then slowly but surely, remus started to join them and then all the other marauders. 

that’s what triggered james and lily to fall in love. 

it was all because of few words on a page. 

[wandlores]

Thirteen and Counting

Pairings: Petunia Evans x Regulus Black | Lily Evans x Sirius Black  Words: 7,431  Chapter Four/? - Lily’s POV  You can read all the previous chapters on AO3.  It took forever, again, to update this. I apologize. I am already working on the next chapter though. Thanks for all your patience. x

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Twelve and a Half Years Earlier - Two Days Before Summer Break 

Lily had only heard from Petunia once a month since she had started at the academy, and her letters were about four sentences long - if even that. Petunia never came to visit her either; she wasn’t even invited home for the winter holidays. She hadn't even heard her sister’s voice over the phone. Even though resentment bubbled up inside Lily’s gut, she always hoped there would be more words on the page from her sister or that she would see her face or at least hear her voice. Petunia was the only family she had left; she had never really liked her Aunt Penelope much anyway. She never would have admitted that to anyone, especially since Lily had an old reputation of unconditional kindness. If anything though, that year, Lily had been thankful she didn’t have to go home for the winter holidays. It would not have been the same without her parents, even though it stung that her sister wanted to keep her as far away from her as possible. Maybe it hurt Petunia too much to see her, but Lily was hurting too. It was selfish of Petunia not to acknowledge that. 

Lily was folding her clothes and putting them in her suitcase when there was a knock on her door. Her roommate Alice answered the door to see their classmate Narcissa. She was chewing her gum obnoxiously and rolling her eyes as she handed Alice an envelope. As always, she was trying to be ten years older than she actually was with her mini-skirts and high-heeled sandals. 

“This is a letter for Lily, the headmistress wanted me to give it to her just in case she didn’t go to the mail room again before we left for break. It’s from her sister and apparently it’s urgent.”

Lily’s ears perked up at the word urgent, and she went up and quickly grabbed the letter out of Alice’s hands. She tried not to appear too eager, but she knew she was failing. 

She was about to tell Narcissa thank you, but she had already walked away as she blew a bubble and loudly yelled at a boy down the hall to get his attention. Lily forgot about her fast as she thought about what was potentially written on the paper sealed in-between her fingers.

Alice tried to act like she was not watching Lily tear open her letter, but she could feel her eyes on her. Lily didn’t care, she just had to know what Petunia had to say. As soon as she saw Petunia’s familiar scrawl on more than four lines of the page, Lily’s heart skipped a beat in excitement or nerves. She wasn’t really sure. Maybe it was a mix of both. What did Petunia have up her sleeve? 

“Lily,” the letter said,

“You cannot come home for break. Aunt Penelope and I won’t be here; we are taking a trip. You need to stay at the Academy for the summer holidays. We have already set up arrangements with Headmistress McGonagall.” 

There were more words on the page, but Lily couldn’t bear to read them. This was the first time in months she felt true sadness rather than anger or resentment. She sunk down to the floor at the end of her bed. Alice was watching her and was clearly hesitant if she should ask what was wrong.

Alice reminded Lily a lot of Petunia before their parents died. She was beautiful, quiet, reserved, and not at all pushy. She was great at giving Lily space. It was what Lily thought she needed, but really, she needed someone to be there for her after everything. Space was just an empty void; it seemed that everyone wanted to Lily to feel utterly and hopelessly alone. 

A single tear slipped from the corner of her eye. It was then that Alice came and sat down quietly next to her. She grabbed Lily’s hand and didn’t say a word. For the first time in months, it felt like Lily had a friend. It was then she really decided to let go and cry. It was also then when she decided that she was never going home again if she could help it. She would go only when she was required to. 

Lily was eleven years old and on her own. It was time to for her to grow up. 

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Present Day 

In times of crisis, Petunia always had detached herself. That was her obvious go-to coping mechanism, but Lily couldn’t help but think now was not the time. 

Petunia’s eyes were closed as the hoard came closer and the three men stood with them. All Lily could hear was Petunia’s deep breathing and all she could see was that there were more than thirteen of the infected now coming their way. 

“What are we going to do?” Remus asked nervously. Lily watched as he gripped his crowbar tighter in his hands.

Regulus was silent and Sirius was bouncing with anticipation. An infected came up close to him and he took it out with his baseball bat. There was no more time they could waste. Petunia still hadn’t opened her eyes. It was time that Lily got her attention. Even if her sister never protected her, she was going to protect her. It was in her blood; the blood she wished was no longer tainted by familial ties and expectations. If Lily could do anything and was lying to herself, she would leave her sister to fend for herself like Petunia had left her all those years ago. 

“We can’t just stand here and wait any longer, we have to go!” Lily called out to all of them, and it was then that she bolted towards the car. She ran without a plan; she hated that she felt exhilarated at the risk of death. 

She didn’t even have to look at Petunia now to know that she had opened her eyes. Lily ran until she almost made it to the car, but suddenly, she felt a hand grab the back of her shirt. She heard a growl as she was slammed to the ground.

An infected was on top of her. Lily’s first instinct in the past would have been to fight back, but now, she felt a certain calmness - like fighting was unnecessary. It was her time to go, and she was ready. She had accepted her fate.

She shut her eyes just like her sister had minutes before, but the growls from the infected were quickly silenced as she heard a splatter and felt its blood hit her face. She was pulled up from the ground before she could even look to see who had saved her.

It was Sirius, and his eyes were frantic. He didn't let go of her as they kept running. Remus led Petunia and Regulus to the car moments before them, and Petunia was yelling, “LILY! LILY!”

She could hear the terror in her sister's voice, but Lily avoided looking at her as she ran to the passenger side of the car. Petunia quickly slipped into the driver's seat after her as the men piled into the backseat and slammed their doors.

"GO, GO, GO!" Sirius screamed.

Petunia slammed on the acceleration pedal and they went flying forward without any of their supplies and only their weapons. They quickly left the hoard behind. 

Lily could see the bridge that crossed the river coming up ahead of them. All she could hear in the car was every person’s heavy breathing, until Petunia finally decided to speak. Well, not really speak, but lecture. Lily noticed Petunia had a new fresh cut on her chin that was probably going to scar. It had to of come from escaping the hoard.

“What in the fuck were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed! You can’t just run into the middle of them, if it wasn’t for Sirius you’d be-”

“Dead?” Lily fought back, “Isn’t that what you have wanted anyway for years? To lift the burden of my existence off your back!? Then you wouldn't have to have a guilty conscience.”

“You don’t know what I had to do to-”

“To what!?” Lily now screamed, “Protect me!? That’s a joke-”

But before Petunia could respond to Regulus screams and warnings in the backseat, everything happened so fast. Petunia was looking at her sister with eyes full of rage and fear when she hit something in the road. Lily felt Sirius’ hand grasp her shoulder from the backseat as the car swerved. Petunia could not brake fast enough as they now all hurdled over the edge of the bridge. She heard Remus take a sharp intake of breath and could feel Regulus close his eyes as death approached them all. 

Before they could go over the edge, Petunia’s back tired bent and hooked on the bridge’s railing. Lily had no idea how one single tire was holding all their weight, it should not have been possible as the front of Petunia's car was now floating in the air, but it was. Somehow, they had survived, but Lily knew they didn’t have long if they didn’t act fast. 

Lily quickly turned to look at her sister again. Petunia was pinned under her steering wheel and her head was bleeding. She was unconscious and her body looked lifeless. 

“Petunia!” Lily screamed. She tried to move over to reach her, but it rocked the car forward. Sirius pulled her back from the backseat and the car rocked back again to temporary safety. 

“You can’t move right now!” He hissed, “You’ll make the car go over! We need to think about this.”

“She-she’s knocked out! Or she could be dead!” Lily said frantically, “I can’t-”

But Remus held her back now too, “We have to think this through, or we will all die.”

Lily gave up and sat still. She heard the men’s voices behind her as they tried to quickly come up with a plan and the river's water rushing at full-speed below them. Lily could still feel Petunia’s car edging forward slowly but surely. She turned her head to look at her incapacitated sister one last time and felt a single tear slip down her cheek just like all those years before. Of all the ways to die, this was not what she expected it to be. Though she should have, since her parents had suffered the exact same fate. Maybe this type of tragedy just ran that deep through their veins; all the Evans’ would die in the exact same way. 

It was poetic really, and that’s when Lily let out a soft chuckle at the irony as she shut her eyes.

It was then that the whole world went black. 

[wandlores]

Thirteen and Counting

Pairings: Petunia Evans x Regulus Black | Lily Evans x Sirius Black  Words: 5,626 Chapter Three/? - Petunia’s POV  You can read all the previous chapters on AO3.  Thanks for being patient with updates for this fic. I’m hoping to do it more regularly than every six months now. x

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Petunia watched as Lily set up her sleeping bag; she could practically hear her screaming thoughts from across the fire. She was pissed at her, and Petunia couldn’t really blame her. She probably would be in her position, too. Petunia was just as untrusting as Lily, when it came down to it. She might even be worse, but there was something about Regulus that made her want to give these strangers a chance. It really made no sense at all. He had threatened the very person she had always worked hardest to protect, but it was like she had an unspoken kinship with him. She wanted to know why.

Petunia didn’t try to talk to him for the first hour. Sirius fell asleep and was snoring, Lily’s back was turned to the rest of them as she wrote in what looked like a journal, and Remus was gazing up at the stars. Regulus was still in the same position he had been when they first arrived. His shoulders were hunched over and his eyes were gazing directly into the fire. She wondered if his eyes were burning from the smoke.

So she asked him that stupid question. It was all that she could come up with to say.

“Aren’t your eyes burning from looking so deeply into that fire?”

Her voice was so quiet she wondered if he could even hear her, but he did. He didn’t look away from the fire as he answered her.

“Would it be weird if I told you I liked the pain?”

Not really, Petunia wanted to answer, but instead, she didn’t say anything. And because she was so deep in her own thoughts, she didn’t even notice Sirius had stopped snoring. He had sat up from his place on the ground and snorted in condescension.

It was then Regulus finally turned his head away from the fire to look at his brother.

“What’s so funny?” Regulus asked.

“You could have fooled me about liking pain,” Sirius answered, “You were so god damn spoiled by our parents when we were younger and even as a fucking adult that you don’t even know what pain feels-”

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Regulus interrupted. He had raised his voice. Petunia felt goosebumps rise on her arms.

Sirius stood up and made his way over to Regulus. She watched as Regulus stood up so they were almost eye to eye. Petunia was about to intervene, but she didn’t feel like it was her place. Thankfully, Remus stood up and took on that role.

“Step away, Sirius,” Remus told him quietly, “It’s not worth it.”

“Is it not?” Sirius asked him, “You know what my childhood was like because of this pompous asshole-”

Petunia watched as Regulus’ hand turned into a fist, but he didn’t raise it. Instead, he said nothing and walked away from his brother and past the rest stop that was behind them. Petunia wanted to follow him, but she didn’t. If he was anything like her, he needed to be alone.

Remus told Sirius he needed to go back to sleep, and Petunia was surprised to see him obey. He pulled his hoodie over his head and crossed his arms as he laid down.

Remus finally turned around to acknowledge Petunia. He gave her an apologetic look and made his way over to her. As he sat down next to her, Petunia leaned forward to put her hands out in front of the fire. The temperature was cooling down, and she could feel that winter was coming.

“Sorry about that,” Remus apologized, “I hate to say it, but that is a common occurrence when it comes to the two of them."

“I know the feeling,” Petunia muttered under her breath.

She could feel Remus’ eyes on her then, and she suddenly felt uncomfortable.

“Sorry, that was ridiculous to say-”

But Remus put up his hand as if to tell her it was okay, “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to talk about it.”

Petunia didn’t say anything more, but she turned her head slightly to look at Remus. She studied the scar on his cheek and wondered how he got it.

Petunia was never the type to pry or ask invasive things, but the question came out before she could stop it.

“How did you get your scar?”

She watched as Remus looked away from her and into the fire. He didn’t look offended, he just looked exhausted. It was like thinking about the memory drained the life out of him. She wondered if he had experienced what she had at her Aunt’s hand. If so, she felt terrible for asking.

“I’ll tell you another time,” he finally replied.

Petunia nodded to herself and looked away from him. A few awkward moments passed before Remus stood up.

“I’m going to check on Regulus and keep watch,” he told her, “You try and get some rest.”

She gave Remus a weak smile, and he gave her a small bow of the head as he walked in the direction Regulus had left to minutes before. She almost offered to go with him, but he was right. She needed rest. Especially if she was going to deal with Lily’s rage tomorrow. The upcoming cycle was all too familiar.

She closed her eyes and quickly dozed off; she dozed off faster than she had in weeks, and as she did so, all she saw was Regulus’ grey eyes staring back at her.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Thirteen Years Earlier - 11:31 pm

Lily had cried herself to sleep after the news, and Petunia held her tears in as she rocked her sister to sleep in her arms. At first, she paid attention to Lily’s ragged breath against her chest and tried to control her own, but as Lily fell deeper into sleep, her breath started to even out. It helped Petunia regain her strength. She looked down at her younger sister one last time as she rested her head gently on the pillow so she could leave the room.

She tip-toed down the hall to try and hear what Aunt Penelope was saying to the cops, but she was surprised to see that the cops were gone, and Aunt Penelope was sitting alone at her parent’s kitchen table. Her Aunt looked like her mother from behind, and it almost made Petunia take a double-take, but she quickly remembered the truth and held back more tears.

She approached her Aunt quietly and sat down next to her. At first, Aunt Penelope didn’t say anything. She just stared forward at the vase of dying flowers in front of them. Then, Petunia heard her quiet voice so loudly that Petunia swore she suddenly had super sonic hearing. She had hoped she misheard her.

“This is your fault,” her Aunt muttered, “You brats are the reason my sister is dead.”

Petunia’s eyes widened as she glanced toward her Aunt. Penelope was now glaring back at her, and Petunia felt chills rush up her spine.

“Auntie-Aunt Penelope, what do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean. If my sister didn’t have to pick you brats up, she would be alive right now. It was always about you two.”

Petunia didn’t say anything, and her Aunt continued on, “I’m going to make your lives a living hell, because you killed her.”

In that moment, all Petunia could think about was her sensitive little sister currently sleeping down the hall. The one that cried when anyone squished a bug with their boot, and the one that would try to find the light in everything, even if there was no light to be found. She felt a fierce need to protect her. Her Aunt would not touch her, not if she had anything to say about it. It was a lot of pressure to put on a thirteen year old girl, but Petunia never acted her age. Her mother had claimed she was an old soul, just like her.

“P-please don’t hurt my sister,” Petunia pleaded, “I’ll-I’ll do anything. Just, just don’t make her hurt more.”

Her Aunt looked over at Petunia like she couldn’t believe what she just heard, but Petunia watched as her Aunt’s mind seemed to be working on a plan. It seemed like hours before she answered Petunia, but her response was simple once she did.

“Anything?” Penelope asked, “Really?”

Petunia nodded, “Just-just let her go to the academy like my parents planned. I will stay with you. I’ll-I’ll do whatever you want.”

She watched her Aunt’s thin lips spread into a devious mile. It was then Petunia could no longer see the resemblance between her Aunt and her mother. Her mother always had kind eyes, and now she could see what was behind her Aunt’s; she could see the bitterness that consumed her.

“Fine,” her Aunt relented, “I’ll give you a list of what you’ll be doing for me tomorrow and the rest of your days until you are out from under my roof. Your brat of a sister will be gone in two days. I’ll call the institute first thing in the morning. You just can’t tell her about our little deal, do you understand? If you do, well, she won’t have a happy ending.”

A threat. A threat on Lily’s life. Petunia couldn’t have it. She was about to protest; her lungs were bubbling up with air to scream, but nothing came out. Until suddenly, everything went black.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Present Day

Petunia woke with a start as Lily shook her shoulders violently. Lily’s eyes were frantic, but all Petunia could process at the moment was that she dreamed of that horrible night for the first time in years, and her shirt was soaked in sweat.

“We have to go!” Lily begged. Petunia hadn’t heard her voice that desperate in years, “The infected, they’re-they’re coming! A herd of them. I counted thirteen! You need to get up NOW.”

The amount of concerned in Lily’s voice would have usually had Petunia perplexed, but she was quickly reminded of reality as she heard the infected's groans approaching them. Standing up quickly, she grabbed her sister’s arm and looked around for the group of men they had joined.

“Where’s-where’s Regulus?”

It was the first thing that came out of Petunia’s mouth. She watched as Lily’s concerned expression turned into a look of annoyance. She pulled her arm out of Petunia's grip.

“Does that idiot really matter right now? He went to hold the infected off with the other two. They are really trying too hard to be noble. I swear it is just for that Sirius guy to get in my pants. It won't work, so now’s our chance. We need to leave.”

“Yes,” Petunia answered quickly, “He matters. They matter. We can’t-we can’t just leave them.”

“I never would have thought I’d hear that coming out of your mouth,” Lily replied, "You always leave."

But Petunia had no time to answer. As if on cue, the men came bounding around the corner with weapons in hand. Remus threw Petunia her shovel as he approached them.

Petunia took a deep breath as the infected followed closely behind the men that were now on their team. She closed her eyes for a moment to try and think of a miracle. How the hell were they going to survive this?

She really had no clue. She counted to thirteen under her breath and opened her eyes once again.

[wandlores]

Thirteen and Counting

Pairings: Petunia Evans x Regulus Black | Lily Evans x Sirius Black  Words: 3,717 Chapter Two/? - Lily’s POV  You can also read this on AO3. After over a year, I FINALLY updated my multi-chapter fic. I’m so excited to be back and active with it. I have so much planned for it. You can read the first chapter on AO3 or here. 

Thirteen Years Earlier - 9:13 pm

Lily couldn't breathe. That's all she knew.

It was as though the air left her body as soon as it left their's.

"Wha-what do you mean mum and dad are gone?"

Petunia rubbed the back of her own neck and sat down on the edge of her bed. She refused to look Lily in the eye.

"They were in a car accident, Lily. Aunt Penelope told me. They were dead upon impact. There was nothing they could do. I'm so sorry."

Lily cried. She felt her body shake, and she felt Petunia's arms wrap around her. She wanted to hug her back, but her body had no strength. No eleven year old should have to carry the weight of her parents' death.

"Will you stay with me?" Lily asked.

"Always," Petunia replied.

Thirteen Years Earlier - Two Days Later

"What do you mean I still have to go to the academy?" Lily argued, "I'm not leaving you alone."

"I won't be alone, I will be with Aunt Penelope. And besides, this is what mum and dad would have wanted," Petunia explained calmly.

"What about what I want?" Lily cried, "What if I want to stay with you? I don't want to go! If I go, I will be alone!"

She watched Petunia hold back tears, but it didn't matter to her. Lily still felt betrayed. She should feel bad. She should feel bad for abandoning her after her parent's died.

"You have to go," Petunia pressed on, "I'm sorry."

Lily knew her parent's planned on signing her up for this academy. But everything was different now, and it should be different now. None of their plans should be the same, because their lives were never going to be the same. Death changes things, especially your parents' deaths.

As Petunia walked Lily to Aunt Penelope's car to head to the academy, Lily fought back. Petunia kept a grip on her arms as she basically pushed her into the back seat.

"You promised you would stay with me!" Lily screamed, "You said you would always be there to take care of me!"

"I am taking care of you," Petunia explained, "I'm keeping my promise."

It was then that Petunia slammed the car door shut. She didn't even say goodbye.

As the tears fell down her cheeks she watched her sister become smaller and smaller in the distance as her Aunt's car drove away. That's when the resentment set in. The bitterness that would never leave. She would make sure of it. Under her breath, Lily muttered, "Liar."

Present Day

Fuck Petunia, Lily thought, fuck the end of the world. I'm done.

Lily huffed as she slammed the car door shut so she could finally be alone. Like usual when she was angry, she felt angry tears start to fall down her cheeks. She rubbed them away quickly as she heard the car door open. She didn't look to see who it was.

"Can you not fucking talk to me right now?" Lily asked, "I'm really not in the mood after that fiasco."

It was then she heard his laugh and realized who was in the driver's seat.

"You really are a fiesty one," the man said, "Your sister wasn't wrong."

Lily turned to glare at him.

"And you are here and trying to be relevant, why? I know my sister was cordial, but I sure as hell am not going to be."

The man smirked, "It seems you already forgot. My name is Sirius. I am also trying to survive, and I also have a shit brother who I have a lot of resentment towards. See, we have a lot in common."

Lily crossed her arms and looked away from him.

"Where are the others?" She asked.

"Still talking, I presume. I just wanted to call dibs on driving."

"There is no way in hell we are going anywhere with you."

"Think again, fireball."

Lily then turned around to follow Sirius' gaze. It was then she saw Petunia walking with the light-haired man, and Sirius' brother was trailing behind them with his head down.

As soon as they approached the car, Lily opened the door and jumped out of it.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked Petunia, "Are you crazy?"

"It's better to be with more people," Petunia explained, "Please try and be calm about this."

"Be calm?" Lily hissed, "Be calm!? This guy held me at knife-point."

She motioned to Sirius' brother who kept his head down.

"His name is Regulus," Petunia told her, "And besides, he clearly regrets it."

Lily could still feel the anger boiling up in her chest, but she didn't have anything to say. She watched as Petunia looked back at her captor. Her eyes were soft, they were caring. Too bad Petunia never gave a shit about her. All Lily knew was that she hoped bringing these men along would bite her sister in the ass.

"Fine," Lily finally replied, "Let's just get on the road then. All I know is that I am not going to let this asshole drive."

That's then when she pointed to Sirius. He smirked at her and she rolled her eyes. Lily made sure she pushed past him roughly as she went to take the wheel.

"I call shot-gun then!" Sirius called.

Lily rolled her eyes again. She was sure this was going to become a new habit of hers, though she should be used to doing to towards Petunia by now.

She looked in her rearview mirror to study her sister. Petunia was still watching Regulus, but she noticed that light-haired man was watching her. Lily quickly looked away and started the car. She didn't need to be psycho-analyzed by a stranger. Not today, not ever.

None of them talked as she drove on the highway. Sirius tried at first, but he gave up when Lily threatened to stab his dick with her pocket knife.

They decided to stop for the night at an old rest-stop. Cars were abandoned and no one was in sight. Just to Lily's preference.

As she turned off the ignition, everyone got out of the car to set up camp except for the light-haired friend of Sirius.

"We aren't going to hurt you," he reassured her, "I just want you to know that. Your sister trusts us, so I hope you can learn to, too."

Lily snorted as she put her pocket knife back in her pocket and collected her things to sleep outside.

"The last thing I am going to do is trust my sister's word," Lily told him, "But nice try."

She noticed the sympathetic look in his eyes in the rearview mirror. She then opened the door quickly to avoid his pity. But naturally, he decided to follow her and softly shut his door.

"You know, betrayal is an awful thing, but what we sometimes don't realize is that people betray us for good reasons. It is why we are where we are today."

Lily turned around and glared at him.

"What do you know about betrayal?" She spat.

"More than you would think, love."

He gave her a weak smile and then walked past her towards Sirius. Sirius greeted him with a warm welcome, and his friend told him to keep his voice down. It was then he heard that his name was Remus.

Remus the wise. That's probably what he thought of himself as. She didn't need life advice from a stranger.

She looked over at Petunia sitting by Regulus in silence. She wondered if her betrayal all those years ago did mean something, but Lily was coming up blank.

Maybe there was a reason, but she was afraid to find out. She was afraid to think about the fact that maybe she was holding onto unnecessary anger for all those years, because at the end of the day, her anger was all she had.  

[wandlores]

@quidditchleaguenet october event: favorite ships - ravenclaw team - sirius black & lily evans

“i’m in love with sirius, too. i always have been. he was my first love, even if he will never be aware of it. he was the first person to make me feel hopeful, and i pray that’s enough to keep us both going, to keep us all going.” (source) 

[wandlores]

Thirteen and Counting

Pairings: Regulus Black x Petunia Evans | Sirius Black x Lily Evans Words: 2,393 Chapter One/? - Petunia’s POV You can also read this on AO3.

It all started on October thirteenth. It was the end of the world. Thirteen used to be her lucky number, until it only brought her destruction.

Too many tragedies unfolded involving the number thirteen for Petunia to still consider it lucky. Her parents died thirteen years ago when she was just a girl and left her feeling lost. Her relationship with her sister was forever tainted by the time she was thirteen years old over an argument that would always loom over her in her dreams, and now it was the number that represented the downfall of the human race.

Thirteen minutes. That’s how long it took for you to turn once you were bit by someone you used to consider your neighbor, your friend, your family. That’s what she saw on the news, anyway. It was apparently like clockwork.

No scientist in the world could figure out how this virus came about, but it spread like wildfire.

Petunia was angry, but that wasn’t anything new. She was always angry with the world. She had been for years, but she was now especially angry with herself.

As she watched the world burn on the news and other humans ripping into each other’s flesh, all she could think about was saving her sister. After all this time, that never changed. Maybe she was still hoping the number thirteen held some kind of magic.

And as she now ran through the streets with a shovel in her hand to get to her car, she counted the cracks on the side walk as she cracked former neighbor’s skulls. The only way to save yourself from one of the infected was to kill their brain, to smash it into nothing. All of their memories would no longer be recognizable; their existence would be lost. All they would be remembered for was their last moments, and Petunia didn’t think that was fair. They would only be remembered as monsters.

The first person Petunia had to kill was her seventy-six year old neighbor Lucy. She became infected in her sleep, and she wasn’t even bit. Petunia was hardly spared as tears clouded her eyes and as she gasped a prayer. She cut herself on the kitchen knife she used to put Lucy down.

She had to give herself thirteen stitches.

Petunia thought it was a sick joke, or maybe it was a sign. Whatever it was, it made her stomach churn.

As she made it to her car, she wiped off her shovel on her old ripped Levi jeans and concluded that she stepped on thirteen cracks and officially killed thirteen of the infected.

She hoped Lily would still be at her flat so they could run, but at the same time, Petunia hoped that Lily wouldn’t have to see a world like this any longer. The only problem was that this contradicted her feelings about hoping Lily would have to deal with the chaos she always felt internally.  It was a never ending battle of push and pull.

It took thirteen minutes to get to Lily’s flat, and she was still alive.

“I can’t believe you came for me. I figured you would have ditched town by now,” Lily expressed bitterly, “That’s usually what you do. You just disappear without a trace. This would have been your perfect opportunity.”

Petunia chose to ignore her comment as she packed up the remaining supplies in Lily’s flat. She grabbed the red pocket knife that used to be her father’s and slipped it into her sister's bag. She bitterly thought about how it should have been gifted to her and not Lily. Red was Petunia’s favorite color, but small things like that never seemed to matter when it came to Petunia.

“We don’t have much time,” Petunia told her softly, “Do you have everything you need? I heard the wilderness up north is the safest place to escape. They are setting up refugee camps.”

She watched as Lily attempted to tie her short red hair in a pony-tail. Multiple strands of hair were falling in her face. If Petunia had been twelve again, she would have offered to assist her and find a way to make it stay in place, but not anymore.

Lily slung her army green backpack over her shoulder and took one last look at the photograph of their parents on her bedside table.

“I’m ready,” she declared.

Petunia nodded as she hiked her backpack over her shoulder, and she let Lily make her way out of her bedroom first.

She looked down one last time at her combat boots to make sure they were tied, and she tried to ignore the blood stain from her shovel on her jeans. Then she dared to look back at the photograph of her parent’s smiling up at her. Her mouth felt dry, and she contemplated on leaving it just like Lily was planning, but there was something magnetic about it. There was a pull she couldn't resist, sort of like when she decided she had to save her sister.

She couldn’t leave the photo there to die along with Lily’s old life, so she quickly grabbed it and stuffed it into her bag.

What Lily didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

The first few days they were on the road they hardly spoke. Like when they were teenagers, Lily took it upon herself to put on their father’s old baseball cap once she finally decided her hair would no longer stay in a pony-tail. Petunia could have told her it wouldn’t work before they even left her flat.

The only time they spoke was when they stopped for the day to get some rest and assign shifts to watch out at night for the infected. Staying up alone was Petunia’s favorite part of the day.

But one morning, Petunia was woken up by the sound of her car running and the feeling of her old scratchy seat belt rubbing uncomfortably against her skin.

She sat up in her seat abruptly and realized she was now on the passenger side. Her long blonde hair was coming out of her French braid she did three days ago, and her mouth tasted like death. She turned to her left to see that Lily was driving well over the speed limit, and her window was down so her red hair was blowing wildly in the wind.

“How did you move me over?” Petunia asked groggily, “You can’t be that strong. How did I even sleep through that?”

Lily rolled her eyes, “You haven't slept in days. I'm not daft, and you would be surprised how strong I have had to become looking after myself all these years, Petunia.”

It was another jab, and Petunia knew they would never end as long as they lived, so she didn’t say anything. She just swallowed the taste of death and hoped Lily had nothing else to say.

Hours passed before they stopped to scavenge some food. They were at an old abandoned truck stop. The world had only ended three weeks ago, but it looked as though this place had been abandoned years ago.

“You can get the food while I look for medical supplies,” Lily offered, “Or we can do it the other way around. I don’t care. This place just gives me the creeps, so I want to leave as soon as possible.”

Petunia nodded, “I’ll get some food. We’ll meet up front again in fifteen minutes.”

Lily gave her a look that meant she understood as she grabbed their father’s old pocket knife from her cup holder. Then she was out of the car in a flash.

Petunia decided to take her time. She was still half asleep and didn’t want to put herself in anymore danger than necessary. She closed her eyes for a moment and rested her head against the back of her head rest.

That was until she heard Lily yelling. She must have dozed off.

Petunia was out of the car and running toward her sister’s voice.

All she could feel was panic, and all she could hear was panic.

This could not be the end. No, no, no.

As she ran around to the back of the truck stop with her shovel in hand, she was surprised to see that Lily was being held hostage by a living human with a knife to her throat.

“Let me go, you bastard!” Lily shouted. She was struggling to get out of her captor’s grip.

Petunia lifted her shovel higher in the air.

“Let my sister go,” Petunia said calmly, “We can talk about this. You can have all our supplies.”

Lily shot her a look like she was crazy. Her green eyes were frantic with rage.

“Don’t negotiate with these assholes, Petunia! Are you crazy?”

“It might be the only way to keep you alive, Lily!” Petunia argued back.

“Since when do you care about keeping me alive?” Lily spat.

She always had, she wanted to say. Instead, she just stayed silent.

Petunia almost forgot Lily’s captor was there until he started to chuckle.

“Well, well, it looks like we have some family tension. I’m used to that,” he commented, “But don’t worry, Petunia. I don’t want to harm your sister. Like you said, all I want is supplies.”

“Then I can show them to you,” Petunia stated calmly, “Just let her go.”

The man’s grey eyes studied her cautiously, but he surprised her by letting Lily go.

Lily stumbled forward and toward Petunia, but before Petunia could stop her, Lily had turned back around to punch him in the face.

The man stumbled back, and Petunia braced herself for the upcoming rage. His knife fell out of his hand, and Lily quickly snatched it from the ground before he could.

“That’s what you get for trying to slit my throat, you dick,” Lily told him.

Petunia couldn’t help but snort, and that’s when she heard two people chuckling behind them.

Lily straightened her cap on her head and turned around to the sound of their voices, but Petunia kept her eyes forward as she studied the man on the ground. He was spitting up blood from Lily’s punch.

“Reg, what did I tell you?” One of the men said, “Threats don’t get you anywhere unless you’re man enough to stand your ground.”

Petunia took this opportunity to turn around to see the other men approaching them. The one that spoke was smirking, and he looked shockingly similar to the one that was holding Lily captive. The only difference was that his black hair was longer and wavy, and his nose wasn’t as long. They shared the same grey eyes.

“Well, we need supplies,” the man named Reg replied, “And besides, she looked a lot weaker than she apparently is.”

“So you were going to kill me?” Lily spat, “I’d like to see you try that again.”

The man with the long hair watched Lily in admiration, and he had the audacity to approach her and put his arm around her shoulders. Lily roughly shrugged him off.

The other man accompanying them stayed silent. His light brown hair was slightly in his eyes, and that’s when Petunia noticed the scar occupying his left cheek. He noticed her staring, and she watched as he touched it with his hand self-consciously. Petunia quickly looked away.

“I’m Sirius Black, and this is my stupid brother Regulus,” the long-haired one told them, “And this is my best friend Remus Lupin. We are just trying to survive, just like you two lovely ladies. Do you two have names?”

“Like we would tell you,” Lily muttered, but Petunia shot her a look.

If Petunia was anything, it was perceptive. She could see these men truly meant no harm by the cautious and insecure look in Remus’s eyes and the regretful look in Regulus’s. Petunia couldn’t stop staring at him, and she could see in the corner of her eye that Sirius noticed, but he didn’t comment.

“My name is Petunia Evans,” she told them, “And this is my sister Lily. Please excuse her temper, it has always gotten her into trouble.”

Lily glared at her, but Sirius smiled.

“Well, Lily Evans,” he told her, “It seems we have that in common.”

He was attractive, and Petunia could tell that Lily was well aware of the fact even through her anger. Her face turned as red as her hair, but she quickly stomped away and back toward Petunia’s car in rage.

Petunia knew she should follow her, but she was still watching Regulus. He was trying to wipe blood off of his face with his frayed sleeve, and he was picking at scabs on his knuckles. He was actively trying to avoid Petunia’s gaze. Was it shame? Did he feel bad for holding Lily against her will? Or was it something more?

Sirius must have walked off and followed Lily, because only Remus was left standing with them and cleared his throat to distract Petunia from her thoughts.

“Well,” he said calmly, “I assume we can work out a deal? Maybe we can trade supplies. I can assure you Regulus was not going to kill your sister. He just acts rashly in fear.”

Petunia finally took her eyes off of Regulus and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Or,” Petunia wagered, “Maybe we can just travel together. The more bodies we have, the safer we will be.”

“You trust us already?” Remus asked skeptically, “Right after Regulus held your sister at knife point? I know I said that he wasn't going to kill your sister but-”

Regulus’s head finally shot up after Remus’s comment, but he stayed silent. That’s when he made eye contact with Petunia. His eyes were soft, though he tried to his hardest to make them appear cold and hard. She could see his inner battle, and that’s when she realized they were no different. Maybe thirteen was once his lucky number, too.

“I do trust you,” Petunia told him honestly, “And we need each other survive.”

Remus nodded in agreement and motioned that she follow him back to the parking lot, but Regulus didn’t look away from Petunia as she started to follow him. Petunia would be lying if she said his gaze made her uncomfortable. If anything, it made her feel safe.

[wandlores]

Under The Stars

title: under the stars pairing: sirius black x lily evans summary: it wasn’t right what he was feeling, but he saw that she could feel it, too. maybe the stars could give them a chance. he was named after a constellation; maybe the power was in his own hands and he didn’t need to rely on the stars at all. all he knew was that something had to become of this before the sunrise.

send me a fic title, and i’ll tell you which pairing i would write about!

[wandlores]

Hey Zelle, do you have any more sirius x lily headcanons because you write them absolutely beautifully! Also do you think it's weird that I ship James x Lily, Sirius x Lily and Remus x Lily all at the same time? Like, my head canon is that Remus loved her unrequitedly andshe loved Sirius but he didn't want to compete with James so he encouraged her to date James instead. Do you think that disrespects Lily in some way? Like it makes her the 'love object?' Because that's not my intention at all.

this took me forever to get to, and i’m so sorry. i have been having an edit kick lately instead of a headcanon kick?? but anyway, thank you so much! i don’t think it is weird that you ship them all. i’m the queen of multi-shipping afterall, so i naturally think it’s okay. i don’t think it makes lily a love object, because that is not what your intention is at all. especially since this is a fictional world. your intentions are more important than anything else, imo. it isn’t like you’re disrespecting lily while you’re doing so, and she is still making all her own choices. embrace the world in your mind, nonnie. fiction is an escape, there is no reason to be ashamed of it.

but regarding sirius x lily, i don’t think anything will ever top my one headcanon i wrote for them awhile ago?? i don’t even know. i love that headcanon so much. however, i can whip up something for you. 

so. they both loved poetry.

that’s actually how they bonded.

in my romantic and platonic headcanons for them, poetry is what made their relationship spark.

it was third year, and sirius was down in the common crying about his family and how they treated him.

lily was going to go down later in the night to read some of her muggle poetry from back home, since she often felt homesick.

and she stopped on the bottom step and saw sirius.

she did not want to disturb him, especially since she hated being disturbed when she was crying.

so she did what she thought would help best.

she left her book of poetry by his side and left him alone.

it always helped her cope, so she hoped it would do the same for him.

he didn’t stop crying as she set it down, but she hid behind the stair case to see what he would do once he thought she was gone.

she watched him wipe his eyes and look around. 

he grabbed the book tentatively and then flipped through the pages.

she leaned against the stair case for while and listened to his sobs become less and less.

and that filled her heart with hope. 

this became a routine, until they actually started speaking and became friends.

they avoided each other before that during the day.

mainly because lily did not approve of sirius and his behaviors with james.

and she hated james at that point. 

but they eventually didn’t care by fifth year.

they would have late night conversations, and that led to sirius falling in love with her.

but he knew james was in love with her, too, so he never pursued anything.

his brother came first, before his own desires. 

but what sirius didn’t know was that lily was in love with him. not james.

until she was suddenly in love with james, too.

he was not upset when she married james.

because he wanted both his best friends to be happy.

but sirius always wondered what it could have been like if he told her how he felt all those years ago. 

he never knew about her feelings for him until he found an old journal of hers after he escaped from azkaban.

it was just one simple journal entry, and the statement that kept him going until he died was this, “i’m in love with sirius, too. i always have been. he was my first love, even if he will never be aware of it. he was the first person to make me feel hopeful, and i pray that’s enough to keep us both going, to keep us all going.” 

and it was, he realized then.

he realized that’s what kept him alive. 

[wandlores]

you ship sirius x lily? damn

i do ship sirilily. i also ship wolfstar and jily. conclusion: i ship everything.