#sir im just star hunting

[paralien]

got stopped by the police while comet hunting, calling that them cometing at me

[tinydefector]

Star Gala dress

(Mtmte) Starscream × human reader

A small little thing I enjoy is Senator Starscream of Vos, and this also gave me the excuse to write about this dress.

WARNING: hints to future smut, mentioned nudity.

Wordcount: 2k

Request and ask open, read pinned post

Starscream masterlist

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The young human liaison stands off to the corner of Starscream's office desk reading through appointments and schedules for upcoming events. "Sir, I have more council data for you," they call out to the Seeker as they turn and walk closer to him, transferring the schedules and meetings.

Starscream barely acknowledged the young human, continuing to pore over reports and schematics on his desk. As they approached, he let out an exasperated ventilation and raised his optics to meet their gaze.

"What is it now? I'm a very busy mech, in case you hadn't noticed." He gestured imperiously at the datapads stacked high around him. "I don't have time for the trivial matters. So this had better be important."

The seeker leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chromsteel cockpit impatiently. , he had little patience for being interrupted while working. But as the human was his earth embassedor, it was his unfortunate role to deal with their petulant requests and demands.

"Well? Out with it. I don't have all cycle," Starscream snapped. His piercing red optics bored down at the human, he knows he shouldn't be snapping at them, but the stress of the cycle was already getting to him.

They sigh softly, "There's gala that you have been requested to be at as one of the 'Repentant' and also new senator of Vos. They have asked that we both attend for publicity purposes. They want both the senator and the human ambassador attending. I believe they want you to do some speaking or such after the incident with those protested outside your home, but from what I can read its mainly just other higher ups of Cybertron's social networking coming together for political face value again" they reply while scrolling throught their own data pad.

Starscream let out an irritable ventilation at the news. "Another one of these pointless mingling exhibitions, I presume?" he hissed derisively.

Playing the politician was not something he had ever seen himself doing, he had been a military leader and scientist, but he had little choice as one of the few remaining Vosian Seekers with enough knowledge on political matters. Since the fall of Vos, he had taken up representing his Seeker constituents on Cybertron - whether he wanted to or not.

"And I suppose they think parading you around with me will make me seem more 'palatable' to the masses," he scoffed, glaring down at his little ambassador. As if mingling with snobby council mech wouldn't do his prossesor in more.

Still, he had little choice if he wished to hold onto the dwindling scraps of power and influence he had left. With a frustrated huff, Starscream rose from his seat. "Very well, we'll attend this affair," he grumbled begrudgingly. "But make no mistake - you are to stay by my side the whole even, primus knows im not hunting you down if one of those council mech get their servos on you. Try not to embarrass me."

A soft laugh leaves the embassdors lips'. "Sir considering you already put up with me as is, I won't be leaving your side regardless. Plus you enjoy my charming wit and gossip to much. But yes I believe they wish for you to show off our alliance" they reply with a smile to the Decepticon as they move closer to wards him.

Starscream let out an impatient vent at the human's response. "Your company is a necessary chore at best, fleshbag," he retorted. He glowered down at the tiny organic, wings flicking irritably.

They walk up closer staring him in the optics with a raised brow ans crossed arms . "A chore huh?, I didnt realise getting kisses being a chore Mr, guess i won't be sharing the bed with you tonight since its such a chore" they teases their lover, knowing full well they had caught starscream in a fib.

Starscream's optics flashed dangerously at the human's teasing remark. "Careful," he growled softly."

However, his armour flared subtly in reaction to their challenge. As much as he loathed admitting any weakness, this tiny organic had somehow managed to work their way past his defenses. Against his better judgment, the Seeker  found himself strangely enamoured with the human.

Leaning down until his facial plates were mere inches from their upturned face, Starscream indulged in a quiet vent. "You know as well as I that appearances must be maintained in public," he stated lowly. "But in private...well. Let's just say I find your company... not entirely objectionable."

His clawed digit reached out to delicately brush their cheek in a rare unguarded moment of affection. Despite his cold demeanour, Starscream cared deeply for his consort, however much he refused to show such vulnerability openly.

A soft laugh leaves their lips as they run a hand across starscream's faceplate. "Hmmm, keep telling yourself that handsome," they reply before pressing a kiss to starscream's lips. " For all your snark and scowling, you're not as big of an asshole as you try to act." they hum contently.

Starscream's optics flashed at the human's brazen words, but he made no move to rebuke them further. Instead, he vented softly as their lips met his own, the gentle contact stirring something deep within his spark.

"In matters of politics and power, have weaknesses make you easy prey," he stated gruffly, though without his earlier bite. Seekers valued strength and cunning above all else.

Still, behind closed doors was another matter. "You have a most insolent mouth... but I confess, where you are concerned, I find I do not entirely mind."

His clawed digits reached to ghost almost tenderly along their cheek. Starscream found he was willing to set aside his usual façade. They had come to mean more to him than he ever dared admit.

"Hmm, glad you enjoy when I talk my mind, Stars." They pressed another kiss to his lips before just resting against starscream's bulk. "Fuck I need to find something decent to wear if I'm going to get paraded around a social gathering" they mumble softly. They weren't initially prepared for an event like that, most times they stuck to the office and were never far from the seeker.

Starscream let out a soft vent as their lips met once more. "In private, you may say what you wish, fleshling," he replied in a rumble. "But do try to mind your glossa in public. Less i have to get involved"

The Seeker peered down at their smaller form resting against him protectively. "As for appropriate attire, I may have something in storage that could suffice for your diminutive size."

During Vos's heyday, the Seekers had many diplomatic functions requiring certain getups. While the outfits were tailored for flightsuits and armour, perhaps a piece could be tailored down further for a human or some that were originally for pets of past senators.

"Come. Let us search my archives and see if any pieces are in presentable enough condition after vorns of neglect," Starscream said, extending a clawed digit for them to climb onto. The public face he showed the world was cold and severe, but in private moments, his consort brought out a softer, rarer side to the fierce Seeker.

Testing on clothing for a gala wasn't what they had planned, but it was enjoyable except for the fact that Starscream wasn't happy with anything they had been tired of yet. "Stars, this is the 8th outfit. Are you really that picky?" They ask while grabbing another outfit.

they slowly changed into it, making sure the chains hung  the right way and the choker was set in place. They walk out wearing a shimmering black dress, which showed skin of their hips, neck chest, and arms. It makes starscream stop to admire. "What about this one?" The call out while double checking everything was in place.

Starscream's optics roved appraisingly over the human as they emerged wearing the shimmering black dress. "Hmm, not bad..." he murmured appreciatively. As much as he grumbled about the task, the Seeker did appreciate aesthetic beauty. and this particular outfit did justice to their form. "Spin," he says while making a motion with his servo.

"The material compliments your organic optical structure and plating," Starscream observed. As a scientist at Spark, he couldn't help but be intrigued by alien biology, however primitive. And he had to admit, the fragile frame could produce pleasing visual and tactile sensations on occasion.

Venting softly, the Decepticon stroked a clawed digit gently down their arm. "I suppose this one will suffice to showcase our...alliance, as they say. It highlights certain appealing assets while maintaining... some modesty." His mouthplates twitched in a rare half-smile. "You clean up passably well for a human, sparkbug."

They roll their eyes at starscream before grabbing his servo and pressing a kiss to it. "Glad you like how I clean up, Mr. demanding, your privilege is showing again," they reply with a teasing smile. "You could use a new lick of paint before the event too, don't want these little scratches on show" the state with a wink before walking to go get changed out of the dress and to store for the gala.

Starscream let out an amused vent at the human's spirited retort. "Insolent creature," he said with a hint of affection. 

Still, he made no move to rebuke them further. As loath as he was to admit any chinks in his armor, this human was right, he did indeed need a new coat of paint before the event, less the other mech and femme figure out the scratches were from the ambassador.

The Seeker watched appreciatively as they began to change out of the dress, leaving their back exposed to him. "Do try not to damage that piece before the gala. It would reflect poorly on me to have my...consort attired in anything less than their best." His mouthplates quirked faintly.

"I'll make sure to keep it safe and ready for the gala," they reply only to gasp softly when they feel starscreams lips against their back.

Starscream rumbled softly as his intake pressed gentle kisses to the human's neck, relishing their pleased reaction.

"See that you do, sparkbug," he murmured against their spine. "I wish to show off my talented...consort to my peers." His gaze held an unfamiliar warmth as he gazed upon the tiny organic, his servos wrap around their waist, digits spreading out Across their soft skin.

Humans were primitive, fragile things, but this one stirred something within the Seeker none had before. With surprisingly tender digits, Starscream traced idle patterns against their side, lingering to savour the minute but pleasing tactile feedback their skin provided with tiny bumps.

"Now, let us complete preparations for this tiresome political display. But know that after, your frame is mine and mine alone to clain," Starscream murmured possessively against their ear, relishing their shiver of reaction. His human may be small and fragile, but they had become his in a way none ever had before.

They laugh. "I didn't realise you liked the dress that much, hmm shame you have to wait three cycle before you get to rip it off me" they teases him with a quick kiss, as they try to flee his grasp.

Starscream let out an irritated vent at the human's teasing words. "Insolent little pest you are," he growled, capturing their intake in another firm kiss to wipe the smug look off their faceplate. 

While he cherished this fragile organic, their boldness tried his patience at times. "Three cycles, is it?" The mighty Seeker rumbled against their ear again, glossa flicking out teasingly. "Very well then, bug. But know that when the time comes, I fully intend to savour stripping that fine material from your form... and everything underneath. I intend to have you bed bound for a while. " His clawed digits tracing almost affectionately over their frame left no doubt as to his meaning.

"I very much look forward to it, my handsome shooting Star," they reply.

[verdemoun]

Ghhhhshh im so sorry bc im like. Pretty sure u made a post abt the callander boys pretty recently but.. If ur up to it can we get more on whqt u think of them?😋 i love them SOOO MUCHHH and the way u talk abt them is always so AWESOMEEEE

rubbing my grubby little mits together

The origins of my Mac and Davey Callander: their parents immigrated from Scotland when Mac was a wee toddler. Davey was later born in America. Mac had a completely normal childhood, went to school, and was well on his way to being just some guy when their father was killed in a wagon incident. He left school to look after Davey while their mother tried to find work. Being a woman, this was nearly impossible, and it wasn't long before their house knew the glow of a red lamp. A few months shy of Mac's 10th birthday, their mother also passed away (syphilis) and he was left orphaned and sole carer for a 4 year old Davey

Mac spent the next 3 years in a perpetual state of terror, selling what he could, stealing what he had to, chasing the pipe dream of giving Davey a normal life. Less than a year after their mom died, the landlord kicked them out. For Davey, their new life of camping out under the stars was another amazing adventure. Mac, in contrast, was so stressed his hair fell out in chunks and the only time he slept was when he collapsed.

Things got a lot easier after Mac decided to pick a handgun off a guy who passed out drunk at a bar. Originally, it was for safety, and then the occasional intimidation tactic in a hold-up, and then before they knew it Davey was 17 and they were committing their first bank robbery together.

They'd never run with the gang before the VDLs. It had only ever been the two of them, which showed in their uncanny ability to know what the other was thinking at all times: especially on a job. The only thing witnesses would report them saying to one another was Mac giving Davey a firm 'no' for seemingly no reason - every single time Davey had been thinking about doing something stupid, like firing his weapon just to scare the poor accidental hostages more. Or maybe killing the teller and just breaking their way into a vault instead of waiting.

Dutch was the one to recruit them, using bounty posters as a catalogue for potential new members. It was 1896: Mac had just turned 31, Davey 26 - and everyone except Dutch immediately hated them. It was obvious that Dutch wasn't looking for recruits, he was looking for replacements. John had run off and Arthur was bedridden with mourning having found Eliza and Isaac's graves. For Dutch to pick up two similarly aged, similarly talented gunslinging brothers felt like a punch to the gut: they were all replaceable.

But damnit, for outlaws, the Callanders were just too likeable for it to stick. When the awkwardness of having not interacted with anyone other than his brother for over 20 years was too much, Mac factory-defaulted to his polite Scottish Catholic upbringing. He was a brute, but always addressed the gang seniority as sir, or ma'am, and smacked his brother hard over the head reminding him to thank Pearson for the burnt, tasteless gruel.

Davey had the same appeal as the then even younger Sean Macguire: he was loud, he was energy, twitching to go and always the first to volunteer for a mission no matter how small the take was going to be. Unlike Sean, though, he had an off switch in the form of his brother. Davey was like a hunting dog with Mac holding the leash. But that energy was what the gang desperately needed that dark year, when half of them were considering taking off just so they could get a damned night's sleep with a colicky infant Jack around.

Davey loved an audience: being around a regular group of people was the best thing to happen to him. Javier learned English from Davey because Davey would constantly talk to him despite the fact Javier was lucky to pick up every third word. Not being the youngest anymore also inflated Davey's ego tenfold. Sean might have been 17-18, but the hero worship he had for Davey was obvious. They both had the gift of the gab and could talk to each other until they went hoarse, and Sean obviously picked up Davey's impulsive, reckless 'hit 'em hard and loud' mentality on a job.

On a job, it was like music. Mac was used to being the one making plans: he could pick bigger scores now that it wasn't just him and Davey. With a look Mac would send Davey to the back door, and when the sight of one lone gunman started to make people think they could fight back, Davey would burst in on queue to make them think twice. The VDLs that went with just learned where to slot themselves in like puzzle pieces coming together - and if the Callanders had made it to Horseshoe Overlook, they would've had enough money to make it Tahiti. The gang had never lived so comfortably before. The stew actually started to taste good.

Arthur's rage hearing about Mac's death was personal: Mac really was one of his besties in the gang. He might have hated working with him, because Mac wasn't the sort to take orders from anyone, but in camp, Mac was one of the few people he could talk to. They were a similar age, but what they really bonded over was that silent feeling of having the entire world on their shoulders. Arthur's entire adult life was dedicated to the gang, the same way Mac's entire life had been dedicated to keeping his brother safe. They could just sit quietly around the campfire and drink, until liquor loosened their lips enough to properly bond over how unfair their lives had been without ever actually complaining about the hand they'd been dealt.

Mac was the only member of the gang, outside of the OGs (Dutch, Hosea, John (and Abigail), Grimshaw and Tilly) that Arthur ever told about Isaac.

[the-whispers-of-death]

no fuck that im killing Kevins ass, skinning him alive, making mud boots out of his skin and jewelry out of his bones and presenting them to Sarabi while i hold Kevins severed head with a bow neatly tied aroud his neck as an extra gift. motherfucker thinks he deserves happiness? nuh-uh his ass is dead for hurting Sarabi like that not my house sir im flaying that bitch alive come here Sarabi baby i will set the world on fire just to watch the flames dance in your eyes no one on this earth deserves you i love you and always will if you want to marry someone marry me i will provide stay loyal and i won't pull the shit Kevin did. it's always a fucking Kevin i swear to god i will hunt down his entire bloodline if it means Sarabi is happy fuck is you on about im about to blow up the entire solar system just to gift the brightest star and the biggest supernova to Sarabi as our wedding gift. fuck it i'll become god and make him the most powerful and immortal being to ever live just so i can build him a throne from the bones of the ones who harmed him i swear to buhjeesus i will eat Kevin alive how dare he!? i am channeling my full eldritch powers just to make Sarabi happy. Kevin was, is and will always be trash he doesn't deserve shit except suffering fuck Kevin Sarabi deserves the world and all it's riches i will become a CEO just so i could pamper Sarabi and give him everything he ever wanted fuck Kevin and his family they can choke while i buy Sarabi a house and fifteen cars

You're so valid for this, bestie. Sarabi has been fucked over by this situation the most.

Because not only is Kevin allowed to marry the man he wants due to being classified a widower, he also gets Sarabi's benefits. He gets the guy AND Sarabi's money! He's spending the money while pretending to be the grieving widower.

Poor Sarabi, he has the short stick. Why did I do him like that?

You go treat Sarabi right, because Kevin surely isn't. In this household, we hate Kevin. Don't know why Sarabi was hoping Kevin would fall in love with him, he wasn't even friend material much less husband material.

[morallygreyintrovert]

Nobody asked but I’m going to detail my every thought watching this episode here so enjoy:

1. Why on earth did this episode open with an upbeat montage? I literally said “what the fuck”out loud. I don’t know about you after defeating God and losing my adoptive son and my best friend (who confessed his secret love to me then died immediately after whom I’m also secretly in love with) I’m going to be pretty fucking devastated not doing chores?

*also forgot to add but Sam or Jared is looking super good in this montage, especially the shirtless scene. I’m not a Sam girly (Cas girly till I die) but even I was like “jeez is that man fineeeeee”

2. I definitely won’t be going to a pie festival? Like wtf was that?? Why is Sam more upset about Cas’ death that Dean. Dean is just like ‘ah well, shit happens and life goes on’ like sir are we going to pretend you didn’t go completely non-verbal watching the love of you life die in front of you.

3. Vampmines as the final big bad?? Like I think vampmines are kind of funny and that did make me laugh.

4. I do appreciate when shows comes full circles and there’s literary symmetry. A show ending how it started. So I like that it’s an old Case of John’s.

5. I like the rock music as the screens pans to Deans machete slicing through a vampires neck.

6. Sam should have let Dean use throwing stars, the boy just loves his toys.

7. Jenny? Who the fuck is Jenny? Like honestly when I watched this the first time I have no idea who she was, I had to google who she was. Like literally like I said I’m all for symmetry but out of all the people they could of brought back? Why her? It makes no sense, 0 sense.

8. However Deans whole interaction with her is super funny.

9. NOOO THE CAMERA JUST ZOOMED IN ON THE REBAR. i can’t believe Dean is about to die like I know he is but I don’t believe it. only 18 minutes into the episode. AHHH HE’S JUST BEEN IMPALED NOOOOOOOO.

10. It’s so sad that Sam doesn’t immediately realise Dean’s situation. The panic in his eyes 😢 Dean refusing to let Sam get the first aid kit or even trying to save him kind of reminds me of the door titanic scene like there was definitely enough room for both of them, Jack didn’t need to die. DEAN DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE.

11. I know early Dean wanted to go on a hunt and I may have been okay with that (I wouldn’t) but WHERE WAS HIS BLAZE OF GLORY?? it wasn’t even a vampire who killed him IT WAS A FREAKIN RUSTY NAIL. Also that man didn’t not want to live (because of his grief for Cas obvs). They spend MINUTES saying goodbye I’m sorry Sam could of saved him.

12. Dean telling Sam about that night he came to get him from Stanford and he was there’s for hours nervous because he was scared of Sam rejecting him and him begging Sam not to leave him. NOOOO IM IN SO MANY TEARS.

13. Dean telling Sam to “keep fighting” as he choosing to die THE HYPOCRISY

14. “My baby brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

15. Sam “it’s okay. You can go now” me, screaming at my tv in tears “NO IT’S NOT OKAY, DON’T GO!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY”

Annnnnd that’s all I watched because I’ve turned it off now in disgust. As it turns out, Enough time has not passed and the grief is still raw. I’ve seen all I’ve needed to see as my fic is canon until a second before Dean is impaled and that’s when my fic diverges from this shit show of a final episode.

That’s all she wrote.

I have watched the Supernatural fully only once, I have rewatched seasons 1-8 a fair few times and episodes with Cas and Gabriel I have watched a dozens times but I have never watched season 15 or the last 2 episodes more than once.

Until today. I have not been able to bring myself to do it but as I have resumed writing my post season 15 fix-it fic, I wanted the end of the show fresh in my mind. So for research purposes I’m putting myself through the pain of watching ‘Carry On’ (I’m not or never will be able to bring myself to watch ‘Despair’ again. Okay maybe I’m being a bit dramatic but whatever)

Wish me luck.

[honeybeewhereartthee]

MDD MINI CORNER (NOT HC???): Plushie Accident

||Twisted wonderland x Ensemble stars||

?:"I swear it's not my fault!"

??:"they all say that, Alicechi. but we both know it's your fault."

You heard someone chats as you walk home one Halloween night holding Mayoi hand.

"What's that ?" You wonder as you look around what could be that cause of that noise.

Mayoi:"I don't think it's good to--"

MC:"my doll hunting sense is tingling --"

before mayoi could stop you, your already run. "...and they are gone... " Mayoi sigh before he fallow you along.

"OMG A DOLL!" he then saw you hugging a doll while being stared by two stranger.

"I--... IM SO SORRY IS THAT YOUR DOLL? PLEASE FORGIVE MC, IF YOU WANNA PUNISH SOMEONE DO IT TO ME INSTEAD!" sensing those two don't look normal, mayoi quickly apologize on his knee.

"Lol, is this the effect of villains to normal people." The one with short fluffy rainbow hair and aurora eyes giggle at the quick reaction of mayoi.

"Alicechi just because your a damn Elsa doesn't mean you could openly insult ok!?" The one with flaming blue hair clicked his tongue by the words of his fellow dorm mate.

"IM NOT ELSA WHAT THE HELL!?" The one called Alicechi yelled back. Before he sigh and look at the two human, one is kneeling and one is shamelessly hugging a certain fea that is turned to a doll. Not by him of course, totally not because of him.

"uwahh. No! No bullying mayoi ( ･ั﹏･ั)" snapping our of your trance you stood up in front of mayoi still holding the unknown doll on your hand.

"M-MC...!!" Mayoi can't help but be flustered and embarrassed that your standing up for him.

"lolol what's this, a couple? Holy shit is this person really going to protect a dude taller than them? Ahahaha" The one with flaming blue hair laugh mockingly at the two.

"I hope you get your ass kick for mocking gremlin people." Alice commented as idia continue to say insulting words.

"holy that dude is crying--" idia was about to say more about Mayoi who's already in tears.

"NO BULLYING MAYOI!!" you already send a hand chop to his nape's pressure point.

"Agh....!!" Not expecting the attack and being weak in physical education. Idia is knock out.

"Lol what did I told you, dorm leader?" Alice chuckle as he takes picture of his dorm leader embarrassing pose of defeat.

"Anyway. Can I have the doll in your hand now, miss/sir?" Alice turn to look at you with soft smile.

"..." Suddenly realize that the doll would have to leave you become reluctant to part ways with it.

"*Hic..." You cried. "M-MC! D-dont cry please!" Mayoi quickly tried to console you.

"... Lol a-alicechi bullying kids ..." Idia commented in the ground, through his groaning in pain as he realize his body is paralyze down his nape.

"IM NOT!" Alice denied. Before he sigh as he look at you and to your companion.

"Oh... OH!!" You look confuse as Alice person look at mayoi strangely. "It's one of the unfortunate soul wandering the world!" He says as he point at mayoi who froze.

"H-huh... N-no I-im human --" he denied the claim, fearing the worse.

"I know. I can see that." Alice chuckle. "Well at least some good thing happened from a deal years ago." His words seems full of enigma as if he knows what's up.

"Agh... Is this the one you said you went to this world accidentally?" -idia.

"probably... No it's totally this world." Alice chuckle before he point at mayoi and then to you.

"Miss/sir, do you love Doll so much? Wanna hug your companion doll form again?" You look at him confuse at his offer.

"D-DOLL MAYOI? (〃ﾟ3ﾟ〃)" you unconsciously nodded because you wanted to hug mayoi plushie form again.

"Y-yes-- N-NO--M-MAYBE?" Not wanting to let out your feelings yet you still wanted it. Leading to a confusing answer.

"... M-MC...(•‿ •,)"-mayoi. I know MC miss my doll self. (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

"okii~" Alice smile as he point at mayoi who then turn back to his doll self. "Ooh l, it's the second one." He commented as he look at the DD. "Anyway it's temporary his back after 30 minutes." He explained.

"I wonder if that curse you put to draconia is a temporary thing too. Can't wait to see your kingdom war against fae." -idia.

"MAL WOULD BE FINE. ITS LILIA FAULT OK!" -alice.

"sure, sure blame the innocent guy." -Idia.

"..." -alice. Since when that old fae a innocent guy?

"uwaaahh mayoi doll formmmm~~" you already on your knees to hug mayoi doll form with the other doll. Showering them with kisses. "Love you, I love you~" you said between smooches.

"weird kid | yup." -idia, Alice

...

25 minutes later with you only hugging the two dolls.

"can I have the other doll--"

"sorry no can't do." -alice. "Not because I don't want too. That's a person... A fae, the prince of dark fae." As he said that the two dolls disappear in your hands and two tall figure appear beside you, one hold you protectively, while the other look at you in great interest.

"N-no... MC is mine!" Mayoi cried out as if he heard some words from the other doll earlier.

"Hmm, is that so? But they seems fine with me... " The prince of fae, Malleus Draconia stared at the two of you. "

Woah, your tall!" You commented, looking up to the figure.

"Child of man, your very interesting. I hope we shall meet again. You as well. Phantom." Malleus smirk as he grab hold of your right hand and softly kiss the back of it. Before he disappear with green sparkling dust.

"...good gott. He left us. Whatever." -alice cannot believe this. He then pick up his dorm leader and look at you two.

"Your MC right?" You nodded your head. " Thank you for loving the unfortunate children of this world. That person would be so happy to see such scene... That his wish have been with a reason... Good bye now ~" with that Alice disappear with blue star dust left behind.

A thought come in mind. You wonder at that very moment if the blue star mayoi and others meant is a literal star or a person who can grant wish but without a limit?

Alice Bylur My main blog Twisted OC

MC of @allimili

[wickedyan]

Puppy

Character: Levi Ackerman

Tags: nsfw, fingering, use of ‘puppy’, mafia au, voyeurism.

A/n: A ha ha,,, long time no see huh/// Heres an apology fic! Im out of my toxic household, im job hunting and ive just been put on medication to help out with my tourettes! Life’s good hehe.

THANK YOU FOR 1K FOLLOWERS FJKSDFHJKF technically 1.1k+ hehe <333 mwah 

NSFW BELOW

-

Your cheeks burned at the loud squelching noises coming from your cunt, with Levi’s long fingers massaged that special spot that had you seeing stars. Your hips moved on their own, thrusting to meet each deliberately slow piston of his fingers. Fuck, it felt so good, but it just wasn’t enough to let you cum, too gentle, too slow. Levi was very clearly aware of it, the slight pull to the corner of his mouth in a sinister smirk giving him away. Your tears only had his cock twitching against your lower back.

The men on the opposite side of Levi’s desk were clearly uncomfortable, but you were too far gone to care, eyes rolling back in your head and drool dribbling down your chin. Levi held himself as though he didn’t have a slut drooling over his finger on his lap, snapping at the men for taking too long to answer a simple question.

“Oi, eyes on me, boys. I know she’s a sight, but she’s not yours to ogle at.” The drawl of his voice rumbling from his chest into your back had goosebumps rising and a whine tearing through the makeshift gag fashioned from Levi’s tie in your mouth.

His eyes flicked down to you, and he pulled his fingers from your sloppy cunt, admiring the slick that covered them. The tip of his tongue emerged from soft, pink lips, wrapping around his fingers with a sigh. He always did love the taste of you. You couldn’t stop the moan from rumbling in your throat, more tears prickling as he left you empty and unsatisfied.

“Yes sir.” His underlings had gotten pretty good at ignoring you, should they wish to keep their life.

“Good. Now, how is our stock for this month shaping up?” The men continued on, answering Levi’s questions, and getting him up to date on everything going on in the Mafia he ran. You wiggled on his lap, grinding your ass into his crotch, biting your lip as his cock twitched. The tell-tale sign of his arousal betraying the cold expression he wore.

Levi sighed before returning his fingers to your pussy. No longer the teasing strokes, he curled his fingers up and jackhammered into your cunt. It had your toes curling, your teeth biting into the gag so hard you were sure you were ruining it, your cunt clenching around his fingers. You were desperate for release.

“P-heese…” You cried through the gag, begging him to let you cum. His eyes met your own, pleading ones.

“Have you been a good girl? Do you deserve to cum?” He murmured to only you. You nodded your head, tears threatening to surface again as he slowed down his movements. Snot dribbled from your nose, thighs quivering and hips bucking.

“Are you gonna answer me?”

“Yes, sir.”

He smirked, “Now there’s a good puppy…”

You cursed through the gag, making a mess all over his lap and crying openly into his chest. He snuggled you close, sending the other men in the room out the door promptly.

“Look at the mess you made, puppy. You had better clean this up.” He shoved you down on your knees, forcing your face into his crotch where your juices dribbled down onto the chair. You got to work quickly, licking up each drop of your own cum with little kitten licks, eyes locked with Levi’s.

[yandere-daze]

omg dazeee happy to see you round again、hope you had a good week!!!

been reading thru the asks now and... omg... im so sorry for the poor people that'd be targets for yan shu. you included i know you fit in this category HAHA. i personally cant stand shu and... my god. on jp from the very first free pull i got shu's basic 5* and it was an actual jumpscare 😭 besides this i kept having weirdest pulls in my life. like. i got both leo and izumi 5* one after the other in another free pull... i was like. how. when i saw the newdi logo and it wasnt natsume i was kinda sad </3

as for eng i saved up for 70 pulls and decided to do them on the basic 3-5* scout in hopes of natsume (there was no natsume) ;; but i did get the catboy ritsu which was one i passed on and got like second 10 pull? it made me happy i was like. wow that was fast. HAHA... i also kept rolling tatsumi like crazy and maxed his 4*... welp. he was also the first one to call me on jp. man needs to chill. even if your self aware yan au didnt exist id still believe something was up with how much tatsumi keeps appearing on my screen upon random notices 😭 dont have anything against him、however im kaname fan numero uno /j

oh also i was wondering if i could be darlingnon? its a nickname another blog gave me and its cute :)

(Yes you absolutely can be darlingnon, I agree that it´s a very cute nickname!! ^^)

Thank you, I hope you had a good week as well!!

Omg I know right? Shu is hunting all of us down and no one is safe at this point 😭 I´d be careful now if I were you, it looks like Shu is slowly spreading his influence if he suddenly appeared on your very first free pull yncljnf

I love it when there´s neat coincidences like that and two characters appear one after another. I swear I had something like that happen to me recently but I can´t for the life of me remember who it was. It´s still very lucky that you got them both from a free pull even if it´s kind of unsettling and I´d be worried that they struck some sort of alliance to keep you for themselves. This theory is only supported by Ritsu showing up as well, soon enough all of Knights is going to show up on your doorstep at this rate sfbsjlnf

Natsume is probably somewhere in a hidden room, plotting some sort of scheme to finally win you over once and for all and he still needs some time before he can finally put his plan into action. Spells need some time to work their magic, you know?

HELP everyone is just going crazy in your phone now, even Tatsumi isn´t safe anymore😭 First calling you because he wants to know where you are and who you´re with and then pestering you by giving you his 4 star card over and over! Sir you´re being a bit too obvious right now! Please calm down!

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

72 Hours In Montreal [Part I]

A/N: Many moons ago, the incomparably lovely @im-an-adult-ish​ pitched a Montreal concert fic idea (jokingly, I think), and quite a few of my followers fell in love with it. They were even kind enough to vote on which Queen member should be the love interest, and there was a clear winner: John! 

I couldn’t get the idea out of my head, and at last, here is the first of three chapters of this new mini-fic. I’m going to tag some of my past readers, but I WILL NOT TAG YOU AGAIN unless you ask me to. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy. 💜

Series Summary: John Deacon is a rock star at a crossroads. Y/N is a world-weary employee at a Yankee Candle shop. They’ll only ever have three short days in Montreal together...or will they??

Chapter Warnings: Language, sexual content (not graphic). 

Word Count: 6.8k.

Other Chapters (And All My Writing) Available: HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @culturefiendtrashqueen​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @escabell​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhyee​ @deacyblues​ @tensecondvacation​ @brianssixpence​ @some-major-ishues​ @haileymorelikestupid​ @youngpastafanmug​ @simonedk​ @rhapsodyrecs​ ​​​ @joemazzmatazz​​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhyee​​ @namelesslosers​​ @inthegardensofourminds​​ @sleepretreat​​ @hardyshoe​​​ @sevenseasofcats​​ @jennyggggrrr​​ @madeinheavxn​​ @whatgoeson-itslate​​​ @herewegoagainniall​​ @anotheronewritesthedust1​​ @pomjompish​​ @allauraleigh​​  @bluutac​​ @johndeaconshands​​ 

The obnoxious British men are still laughing. The one with the mustache, suspenders, and illogically tight red leather pants is standing on the tiptoes of his equally red Adidas shoes to paw candles off the top shelf so he can sniff them. The blond one has no less than eight jars balanced precariously in his wiry arms. Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing is billowing through the shop speakers.

“Oh my god, he’s gonna break something,” you moan in a whisper, covering your eyes but peeking through your fingers. Your apron is suddenly too tight around your waist; your cheeks are roaring with blood as you envision the inevitable confrontation: Sir, unfortunately you ruined some of our giant tacky overpriced candles and so now you have to pay for them. So sorry. Paper or plastic? We take Mastercard.

“Who?” Kevin asks. He’s holding a broom in one pudgy, pinkish hand and a dustpan in the other. He has surrendered.

“That one. Suspenders and moustache guy. Red shoes guy. Dorothy without Toto.”

Kevin cracks a smile. “That is frighteningly accurate. He is rather whimsical, isn’t he? Maybe he’ll click his heels and disappear back to London or wherever.”

“We aren’t in Kansas anymore,” you mutter in commiseration. Actually, to be perfectly literal, you’ve never been to Kansas in your life.

“Wait, I think I might have met that guy before somewhere.” Kevin squints with great concentration. “He looks oddly familiar…”

“Hm.” You check your eyeliner wings in your reflection in the cash register screen. From what you can tell, they’re every bit as tragically asymmetrical as you remembered. Spectacular.

“Staring won’t make it better,” Kevin notes, very unhelpfully.

“I know,” you reply, miserable, toying with your bangs so you can hide behind them.

“How does that even happen? The right one is practically a 90-degree angle. The left one looks like you drew it on with a Sharpie.”

You groan. “I’ll try to scrub them off during my break.”

“If you’re not too busy helping me sweep glass off the floor, sure,” Kevin says. “I told you, I took an electrical engineering class as an elective once. I could totally take a look at your bathroom.”

“I thought you said you failed that class.”

“No, I said I got a D in that class. Ds aren’t failing.”

“Well now you’ve convinced me.” You scrutinize your reflection again, frowning. You rent a rather dilapidated one-bedroom apartment above a bakery just a few blocks from the Yankee Candle shop. The apartment always smells like powdered sugar and baking bread, which you like. What you don’t like is everything else about it: the peeling paint, the low water pressure, the windows that you can’t wrestle open, the occasional mice, the shoddy electrical wiring. On any given day, there’s an approximately 27% chance that the bathroom light won’t turn on when you flip the switch. This morning you had been on the losing side of those odds, and with the only mirror in the apartment being the one mounted over the sink—and the overcast November skies outside offering painfully little natural light—you had haphazardly guesstimated your way through your makeup routine before dashing off to work. Your guesstimation skills, apparently, are not all that great.

“If he’s The Wizard of Oz...” Kevin points his broom handle from the snickering moustached man to the gangly, poodle-haired one who has been trying to decide between two candles—Christmas Cookie and Cinnamon Stick—for twelve uninterrupted minutes. He’s wearing a parka spotted with patches: a NASA emblem, a soaring rocket, a smiling green extraterrestrial face, Saturn and its rings. “That guy’s gotta be Star Wars.”

“Or Alien,” you suggest, clutching your chest and pretending to die melodramatically.

Kevin laughs. “2001: A Space Odyssey.”

“Close Encounters of The Third Kind.”

“What about that one?” Kevin nods to the guy who has large blue eyes and bleach-blond, fried tufts of hair sticking out in every direction and a grin that is simultaneously childish and foxlike. Under Pressure comes on the shop speakers, and the British men all start cheering and high-fiving each other, leaving their candles momentarily tucked under their arms or quivering precariously on the edges of wooden display tables. You are entirely mystified. “God, he’s gorgeous.”

“Bye Bye Birdie,” you decide. “Beautiful. Charming. Beloved by all. Perhaps a little dangerous. I can picture teenage girls sobbing themselves to sleep as he gallantly marches off to war.”

“You think he’s gay?” Kevin asks hopefully.

“I don’t think he’s dressed well enough for that.” The blond man is wearing a shapeless, polka-dotted sweater that has ‘NIVEA’ spelled across the front, for reasons that are difficult to fathom.

Kevin sighs, crestfallen. He suffered a nasty breakup with his boyfriend Patrick two weeks ago, and is enthusiastically on the hunt for a rebound to distract him. “You’re probably right. Okay, last but not least.” Kevin aims his broom handle at the fourth and final British stranger. “What shall we call him?”

You consider the man who has wandered away from the others. He’s wearing Levi’s, a black bomber jacket, aviator sunglasses, a mop of unwrangled auburn hair, thoughtful lines that break around the corners of his hidden eyes. He is browsing unhurriedly, perhaps even distractedly, through the fruit-scented candles. He picks up a jar of Macintosh Apple, sniffs a few times, then sets it back down precisely where he found it. He even spins the jar so it’s label-side-facing-outwards again. You warm to him immediately.  

“One of the James Bond movies?” Kevin offers. “He seems…enigmatic somehow. Esoteric. Yet still clearly leading man material.”

“Casablanca,” you say, not tearing your gaze from the stranger. “I can imagine him waving off some old flame on a foggy, night-draped airport runway, breaking hearts with sparse words of wisdom. Can’t you?”

“Oh, that’s exactly right!” Kevin sighs again, dreamily, yearningly. And whether he’s yearning for his ex-boyfriend Patrick or Bye Bye Birdie a.k.a. NIVEA-sweater man or passion or sex or love or maybe just the ineffable high that accompanies the beginnings of things, you couldn’t say.

You peer at your reflection in the cash register screen once again, feeling more self-conscious than ever. “Maybe if I—”

“Freddie!” Star Wars cries, and you whirl just in time to see The Wizard of Oz, whizzing around and giggling and preoccupied with teasing NIVEA-sweater man, stumble into the six-foot-tall tower of Christmas Tree-scented candles and send countless jars crashing to the tile floor.

“I knew it!” you unleash in a rush of misery and exasperation, the biting threat of tears in your eyes and the back of your throat. And of course, it isn’t just about the mess on the floor, it isn’t just about having to tell your manager and hoping to God he doesn’t fire you. It’s about your derelict apartment, it’s about your fucked up eyeliner, it’s about everything that’s happened in the past eighteen months; it’s about the never-ending feelings of helplessness and inertia and predestined ruin, it’s about not being able to get fifteen meters down the street before life throws up another red light, another jagged sinkhole gaping like ravenous jaws. And none of that is these ridiculous British men’s fault; yet still, in that moment the fury you feel towards them is overwhelming.

“Jesus christ,” Kevin mumbles, stepping out from behind the counter to survey the damage, his hands still clutching the broom and dustbin.

“You couldn’t just mosey around and ask which candles are on sale and maybe sniff one or two like a normal person?!” you explode. “You had to come in here acting like goddamn animals and destroy like a third of our inventory?!”

“I’m so sorry,” The Wizard of Oz sputters, looking at you and Kevin with wide, profusely apologetic dark eyes. Star Wars and NIVEA-sweater man are helping him to his feet, albeit with very spirited chidings. Kevin is grudgingly asking if he’s alright. Casablanca is already trying to sort through which candles are broken and putting those that survived aside. And when he casts furtive glances from behind his aviator sunglasses, they’re directed not at Kevin or The Wizard of Oz but at you.

“Freddie, bloody hell,” NIVEA-sweater man laments.

“I’ll pay for them all,” The Wizard of Oz tells you. “I’m so, so, so terribly sorry, you’re absolutely right to be cross with me, and I’ll pay for everything. Here, let me get my wallet…” He digs around in the pockets of his preposterously tight red leather pants.

“Uh…sir…” Kevin begins uncertainly, not wanting to break the bad news.

“It’s going to be hundreds of dollars,” you inform The Wizard of Oz. “Maybe over a thousand. You’re really going to pay that? Or are you just going to wait until we start sweeping up and then sprint out the front door the first chance you get?”

“Hey,” Kevin warns you quietly. He wants you to keep this job probably even more than you do. You are, by his own admission, far and away his favorite coworker.

“No, no, darling, please, let her scold me, I deserve it.” The Wizard of Oz at last locates his wallet. He sashays to the counter, brushing nuggets of glittering glass off his clothes, and counts out two thousand Canadian dollars in hundreds. “Will that do? You can keep the change as compensation for the inconvenience. And we’ll help clean up as well, has anyone got an extra broom?”

As you stare down at the money, shocked into speechlessness, three hulking men dressed in black come barreling into the shop.

“Lord in heaven, Freddie, what happened?!” one asks. He has a thick beard and an Irish accent and closely resembles a grizzly bear.

“I made a complete ass out of myself and am now trying to win the affections of this marvelous creature,” The Wizard of Oz replies, flourishing a hand towards you. “Is it working, dear?”

“Kind of,” you admit, still stunned.

“Oh my god.” The broom tumbles out of Kevin’s grasp and clatters on the floor. He points at The Wizard of Oz. “I know where I’ve seen you before. You…you…you’re Freddie Mercury, right?”

In reply, The Wizard of Oz only flashes an enormous, toothy, dazzling grin.

“Oh my god,” Kevin says again, a starry, awed smile rippling across his round face.

“Please don’t make his ego any bigger,” Star Wars pleads.

“And you’re Brian May!” Kevin replies. “And you’re…” He turns to NIVEA-sweater man, snapping his fingers, trying to remember. “Robbie…no, Ronnie…uh…Ricky…?”

“Roger Taylor.” But it comes out like ‘Rogah Taylah.’ NIVEA-sweater man extends a hand for Kevin to shake, not the least bit offended. “It’s a pleasure. Sorry about the candles.”

“No problem, sir!” Kevin squeaks as he takes Roger’s hand, beaming. The men in black—the band’s security, you’ve gathered—have descended upon the crime scene, confiscated Kevin’s broom and dustbin, and are rapidly clearing glass and chunks of candlewax from the floor and discarding the mess in a trash bin that usually collects only chewed gum and unwanted receipts.

“So I guess I probably shouldn’t have yelled at you,” you tell Freddie Mercury guiltily, all the venom in your voice evaporated. You’re no Queen superfan, true, but everyone knows the words to Bohemian Rhapsody and We Will Rock You and We Are The Champions. And Another One Bites The Dust. And Killer Queen. And Crazy Little Thing Called Love. And Somebody To Love. Your thoughts are suddenly a racing, indecipherable blur. Your knees are boneless. You’ve never met a celebrity before. Well, not unless you count professional hockey players, which you definitely don’t.

“No, you absolutely should have,” Freddie retorts. “I was dreadfully discourteous. I’m positively mortified about it. I should be punished severely. Have you got anything behind the counter to whip me with? A riding crop, perhaps?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Not that I know of. I’m sorry I called you an animal.”

“I’m sorry about the candles. There, now we’re even. Wait, not quite yet.” He calls over to Kevin: “Darling, how would you and your friend like front row seats at our show tonight?”

The squeal that bursts out of Kevin is not human.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Freddie Mercury says, very pleased.

“This is really too generous of you,” you protest, although your heart isn’t in it; Kevin might legitimately strangle you if you screw this up, and you’re finding that you want to see Queen in concert too. It’s something to interrupt the powerless, unrelenting monotony; it’s like something that might happen in a movie or a dream.

“Nonsense!” Freddie announces cheerfully. Star Wars and NIVEA-sweater man—or, rather, Brian and Roger—are chatting with the security guys and nodding along as the bearlike Irishman reviews the day’s itinerary.

You peer over at Casablanca. Now that the floor is mostly clear, he’s migrating towards you and Freddie. You glance apprehensively down at your reflection. “Goddammit,” you mutter, manipulating your bangs again, wishing you could disappear. “I meet a rock star for the first time ever and I look like this.”

“It’s not that bad,” Kevin says, obviously lying.

“I like it,” Freddie tells you, propping his elbows on the counter and resting his chin on his knuckles. “It’s very goth raccoon chic.”

“My bathroom light wouldn’t turn on this morning and I was late for work and I guesstimated and that was clearly a poor decision.” Poor decisions are my expertise, you think instinctively, and feel a tug of something you don’t quite have the words for. Shame, grief, disappointment, a raw sting like a flame beneath your palm, a dread like a child who’s lost their mother’s hand.  

“I’ve offered to take a look at the wiring!” Kevin exclaims. “I told you, a D is passing!”

“Kev, babe,” you reply. “I really, truly appreciate your enthusiasm, but you’ll probably just make it worse. And then my landlord will hate me and keep my security deposit and write me awful references and I’ll have to live in an endless string of ancient, hideous apartments until I die.”

“It’s an electrical problem?” Casablanca asks, pushing his aviator sunglasses up into his unruly hair. His unveiled eyes are a blueish grey—they remind you of one of the candles, maybe Beach Walk or Bahama Breeze—and very direct. He stares at you and you stare back, and at some point you realize that everyone is waiting for you to answer.

“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess so. Sometimes nothing happens when I flip the switch. That’s the extent of my handyman knowledge, unfortunately.”

Casablanca nods. “I could take a look, if you like.”

Not Beach Walk. Not Bahama Breeze. Warm Luxe Cashmere, maybe. “Now that really is too generous. I couldn’t possibly put a rock star to work on my terrible apartment.”

“John’s got a degree in electrical engineering, that’s right in his wheelhouse,” Brian counters.

“Yes,” Roger says, grinning, teasing in a way that has absolutely no malice in it. “He’s more of an engineer than a rock star anyway, isn’t he?”

“Seriously?” Casablanca—John, you mentally correct yourself—doesn’t seem much like an electrical engineer. But Roger’s right: he doesn’t really seem like a rock star, either. What John seems like is steady and abiding and perceptive, attentive, unflinching. He studies you like some people study paintings, like you once studied paintings; not in a passing-by-in-a-crowded-hallway type way but in a patient way, a methodical way, with the quiet that comes from knowing that vision in the frame is older than you will ever be and will still be hanging on that wall when you’re bones in a box somewhere.

Freddie lights a cigarette and puffs on it decadently. Smoking definitely isn’t allowed inside the Yankee Candle shop, but you aren’t about to snap at Freddie Mercury for the second time today. “Oh, let him tinker around in your flat, darling. It’ll make his day.”

“Is it far?” John asks you.

“No, really, Casa…uh, I mean, John, I appreciate the offer more than I could possibly express but I—”

“It’s just a few blocks north,” Kevin says, and tosses you a wily smile.

“How convenient!” Freddie trills. “When does your shift end, dear?”

“Not until 5:30.”

“She can take a long lunch break.” Another smile from Kevin. “Honestly, there’s not much to do around here now that the Great Candle Massacre of 1981 has been remediated.”

“Splendid!” Freddie says, radiant.

You shake your head, very slowly. “This is the weirdest day of my life.”

“Then you clearly haven’t lived enough,” Freddie quips.

“Fred!” Roger presses. “Are we going to the bookstore down the street or not? That was the whole deal, we suffer through your candles, you suffer through our books.”

“You didn’t seem to be suffering,” Brian says.

“Of course I’m suffering. That cashier over there almost murdered me,” Roger slings back.  

Freddie sighs and rolls his large, dark, expressive eyes. “Yes, darling, of course, don’t give yourself an aneurism. We’ll go to the bookstore, John can rendezvous with us later.” Now he turns to you. “We’ll send a car to your flat at 7 to pick you and Kevin up for the show tonight. Don’t let John leave without knowing your address. Wear something deliciously opulent. Lots of sparkle. Maybe furs.”

“I make eight dollars an hour,” you tell him.  

“Or you could just wear nothing.”

“Sparkle and furs it is.”

Freddie chuckles and turns to the men in black. “Chubby, my dear?”

The towering bearlike Irishman replies: “Yeah, I’ll go with John. Don’t wreck anything else while I’m gone. Don’t get yourselves deported before the show. EMI will have your heads on spikes.”

Freddie pretends to be scandalized. “Causing destruction? We would never.” He saunters towards the shop door, jingling the bells as he swings it open, and waves like royalty. “See you tonight, darlings!”

“Bye!” Kevin shouts after him. And then, after Freddie, Roger, Brian, and the two non-bearlike men in black have departed: “Oh my god I just met Freddie Mercury and he’s amazing and he knows I exist and he spoke to me and tonight he’s sending a car to take me to a concert and I’m going to have front row seats and what if he invites me to have a drink afterwards oh my god.”

John, evidently unaffected, prompts you: “So your place is just a few blocks away?”

“Yeah. Just let me get my coat…”

The man in black—Chubby, as Freddie had introduced him—fetches your coat off the rack by the door and holds it up so you can slip inside it. No one has ever done that for you before.

“…Thanks…?” You button your coat, feeling a little like royalty yourself at the moment.

John pulls open the door, the tiny metal bells jangling, and gestures out into the streets of downtown Montreal. He’s wearing his aviator sunglasses again; the November wind gusts through his hair. You catch threadbare ghosts of cigarette smoke and cologne that the breeze lifts from his skin like pages of a book. And he smiles, just barely. “After you.”

You walk north together along the path of the sidewalk with your hands in your pockets, your breath fog in the cold, weaving through the bustling crowds of tourists and holiday shoppers, Chubby trailing not far behind and displaying his talent for keeping watch while not letting on that he is. To even your own horror, you can’t seem to shut up.

“John, this is so kind of you, this is completely unnecessary, you really shouldn’t feel like you owe me anything because Freddie already paid for the candles twice over and I was totally unprofessional for yelling at customers, even annoying customers, and Kevin and I are already getting a free concert tonight and so—”

“Okay,” John says firmly. “You have to talk about something else now.”

“I can’t talk about anything else. All I can think about is how ridiculous this is.”

“Have you lived in Montreal long?” he asks, very casually, as if you’re strangers in line next to each other at Starbucks.

“My whole life.” Minus a little over three years, but you don’t need to get into that. “My parents live over in Verdun, right on the St. Lawrence River.

“Sounds scenic.”

“It certainly is.” You’re trying not to look at John, because every time you do it’s hard to stop. You look at the cars rolling by instead. “This is super embarrassing, and I don’t mean to offend you, but what exactly do you do in Queen?”

He’s not offended; he thinks it’s hilarious. “I’m the bassist.”

“Oh, that makes sense.”

“Does it?”

“Yeah, bassists are quiet and reliable or whatever. Bassists don’t terrorize Yankee Candle employees.”

“You’re not a Queen fan?”

“I’m a casual and appreciative listener, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan. I couldn’t pick any of you out of a lineup, clearly. Roger is the drummer, right?”

“Is it that obvious?”

“Drummers are feral, almost universally. Which means Brian must be lead guitar.”

“And what do you think of lead guitarists?”

“Word on the street is that they are brilliant yet micromanaging egomaniacs, but I don’t want to bash your friend or anything.”

John chuckles, like there’s some joke you aren’t in on yet. “No, please, bash away. So you prefer bassists.”

And finally you do look at him, and you regret it immediately; because now you’re caught in the thoughtful crinkles around his eyes and the barely-there stubble of his cheeks and the playful curve of his lips and how the wind ruffles his auburn hair the same way it steals leaves off of slumbering trees. You almost walk right past the bakery. “Oh, wait, we’re here.”

You lead John and Chubby upstairs to your chronically irritating apartment. John removes his sunglasses, inspects your bathroom light switch, then asks if you have a specific kind of screwdriver. You bring him the toolkit that has lived beneath the kitchen sink since before you moved in and he roots around, finds what he’s searching for, and unfastens the light switch plate from the wall.

“Please don’t electrocute yourself,” you fret, as Chubby meanders around in the living room and tries not to intrude. “If you die your groupies will never forgive me.”

“Who says I’ve got groupies?” John replies, amused.

“I just assumed all rock stars do.” Your eyes flick down to his hands as he fidgets with the wiring; and you notice randomly—or, maybe, not all that randomly—that he’s not wearing a ring. You’re still ruminating over that when he returns the light switch plate to the wall, secures each of the four screws with a few deft twists of his wrist, and performs a test flip. The light turns on immediately.

“Mission accomplished,” John says mildly.

“What?! No, no way, no freaking way.” You flip the switch again. The light turns off and on obediently. You try it at least five more times. Perfection. “…How?!”

“Just a few loose wires. No great hardship.” He tucks the screwdriver back into the toolkit.  

You gape at him. “That took you…like…two minutes.”

“Aren’t you glad my band wandered into your candle shop and almost demolished the place today?” He rests his hands on his waist; his sturdy, skillful, ringless hands. “Anything else I can fix for you?”

“Definitely not.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

He stares at you. You stare back.

“Stop looking at my fucked up eyeliner.”

John laughs. It’s a delightfully clear, disarming sound. “That’s not what I was doing.”  

“I should fix my makeup and go back to work now. And you should probably go help your friends burn down the bookstore or blow up a Starbucks or do whatever else is on your agenda for today.”

“Soundcheck and dinner, actually,” John says. He slides the toolkit back beneath your kitchen sink, meets Chubby by the front door, and pauses there to give you one last lingering, laden gaze. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“In my best furs,” you purr in your most convincing Freddie Mercury impression.

“Or nothing at all,” John suggests levelly. And then he’s gone.

~~~~~~~~~~

It turns out better than you thought it would. Your tan, knee-high suede boots are celebratory without being too uncomfortable. Kevin brings you a faux fur jacket that he stole from Patrick during the breakup. You find a glittery black dress in the back of your closet that you once loved, then couldn’t stand to look at, then forgot existed entirely; but tonight it’s like you’re seeing it with brand new eyes. It fits even better than you remember. In the mirror, you look like a stranger and a hauntingly familiar acquaintance and yourself all at once.

Chubby arrives in a black limousine at precisely 7pm, parks along the curb next to the bakery, and honks the horn twice. You and Kevin dash down the narrow steps and climb into the backseat, finding complimentary cigarettes and bottled water and chilled champagne. As the limo rolls though Montreal under changing traffic lights, Kevin prattles on about the band, their history, their albums, their tours…and John in particular. He tries to tempt you. You resist valiantly…for the first fifteen minutes, anyway.

Finally, you sigh in capitulation. “Okay. Fine. I get it. What do you know about him?”

“I know he’s divorced,” Kevin says, wiggling his eyebrows. “I saw it on the cover of a tabloid a while back. Very contentious, spicy stuff. He’s got like eight kids.”

“He does not have eight kids!”

“Okay, maybe not eight. But he has a lot,” Kevin insists.

You rearrange your hair with deliberate flippantness. “What do I care if he’s divorced?”

Kevin grins. “You know why you care.”

“Stop,” you plead.

“Look, all I’m saying is that he definitely likes you. And you like him. And I haven’t seen you like anybody, ever, in the…wait, let me count…the nine whole months that I’ve known you. When was the last time you even had a boyfriend? When was the last time you got laid? Oh my god, it hasn’t been nine months, has it?! That’s way too long to go without sex. No wonder you’re so serious all the time. It all makes sense now. You poor thing. You’re in dick withdrawal.”

“Assuming that’s my problem—which it isn’t, by the way—if I wanted to get laid there are far easier ways to accomplish that.”

“Sure,” Kevin says. “But you don���t want just any dick. You want British bassist dick. John Deacon dick. Casablanca dick.”

“This friendship is terminated.”

Kevin cackles, pouring himself a glass of champagne that bubbles over the top and spills onto the limo floor. “I’m really glad you’re here with me. I’m glad we can do this together.”

You fill a champagne flute with bottled water and clink your glass against his, smiling. The limo is turning into the parking lot of the Montreal Forum. “Me too.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The backstage room that Chubby escorts you and Kevin to after the show is full of chatter and heavy smoke and roadies and fans and musicians and journalists, trays of hors d'oeuvres, wine and Stella Artois and vodka and tequila and rum, the electric promise of things that will go unmentioned in the morning. There are stacks of stereo speakers in the corner rumbling out Another One Bites The Dust. You and Kevin camp out on a green velvet couch—making small talk with each other to avoid making it with anyone else—until the band arrives.

John is still wearing his concert outfit: blue pants, blue shirt, a black leather jacket that gives him an edge like a knife. He passes out a few polite nods; but Freddie and Roger are undeniably the suns in this room, and the guests their planets. Freddie is soon surrounded by a constellation of followers and whisks Kevin away with him. John, meanwhile, comes straight to where you’re sitting on the couch and stands in front of you with his messy hair and his veil of cologne and his mystery-candle-blue eyes.

“Can I get you anything?” he asks in that calm, measured way that you’ve learned he has. “Rum and Coke? Moscow Mule? Hurricane? I’ve been on a mojito kick recently.”

“I don’t drink.” And you wait for the inevitable awkwardness that usually follows that sentence, when he says why? or seriously? or maybe just oh in wilted disappointment.

Instead, what John says is this: “No problem. Rum minus the Coke?”

You smile up at him. You can’t help yourself. “That would be perfect.”

There are innumerable drinks already poured on a table, dark carbonated liquid trembling in red plastic cups as the bass from the stereo speakers quakes through the crowded, droning, smoke-hazed room. John moves from cup to cup, taking tentative sips before shaking his head and putting them back down on the table. After each attempt, he casts you a rueful smirk before continuing on to the next cup. At last, he finds two unadulterated Cokes and brings them to the couch: one for you, and one for him. He sits beside you with one of his legs crossed over the other, a lit cigarette in his right hand, a red plastic cup of Coke in his left, and his eyes on you in a way that isn’t hungry or arrogant or restless but merely, benignly contemplative. You find yourself thinking of paintings in museums again, you even start to feel a little like one; and you wonder what colors he sees in you, what types of brushstrokes, what signatures scribbled in the corners of the canvas, what shadows painstakingly penciled in to mimic the angles of the sun.

You tell John about growing up in Montreal, about autumn strolls along the St. Lawrence River, about snowfalls and Mont-Royal and Chinatown and the Notre-Dame Basilica, about the exhilarating turmoil of the Summer Olympics in 1976. You tell him about how Kevin is in his last year at Concordia University and works part-time at the Yankee Candle shop for money to invest in his hair gel and travel fund. You tell him so many things he doesn’t notice all the parts you leave out. In return, John tells you about himself; not about John Deacon the bassist of Queen, but about the understated man who likes cars and electronics and the Beatles and tea in the evenings beside a roaring fireplace. And when his arm comes to rest on the back of the green velvet couch, and then across your shoulders, and then around your waist, it doesn’t feel strange at all. You lean into him as you exchange stories and clandestine giggles until you’re nearly in his lap, and that doesn’t feel strange either. And you haven’t had a drop of alcohol—you haven’t in almost a full year, in fact—but you feel a little drunk tonight, because your cheeks are hot and the room is blurry and the world is brimming with a pure, rose-gold, uncomplicated happiness.

The other band members periodically stop by to say hello, clutching their drinks and making stilted pleasantries as you and John smile drowsily up at them, looking nothing like the soberest people in the room. Chubby and the rest of the men in black are simultaneously omnipresent and scarce, which you are beginning to think is a requirement inked into their job description. Kevin, having been fully absorbed into Freddie’s entourage, is beaming and flushed and extremely, blissfully tipsy. And they all watch you and John not with scandalized sideways glances but with warm approval swimming in their gleaming eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve properly thanked you yet,” you tell John when you are alone again. “For improving my dreadful apartment. So thank you. You really didn’t have to do that. I hate that I marred your time in Montreal with unpaid labor.”

He shrugs it off. “I like fixing things. It’s what I’m best at.”

“Besides being an internationally acclaimed rock star, you mean.”

“I’m honestly not so sure I’m cut out for the rock star life.”

“You are, though. I saw you. I watched you all night.”

John just stares at you, and then he leans in even closer, inhaling deeply. You can feel the heat of his breath on your collarbone, your shoulder, your neck; goosebumps spring up across your skin like stars at twilight. “What the hell is that? Perfume? Lotion? Shampoo?”

“It’s probably sugar and baking bread, because I live on top of a bakery.”

“Does Yankee Candle make anything that smells like you?”

You laugh, shaking your head. “They definitely do not.”

“They should,” John murmurs. And with the rough whirlpools of his fingertips he turns your face to his so he can kiss you.

It should be kind of humiliating, right? Making out with some guy you just met on a green couch in front of thirty strangers, your hands getting tangled in each other’s hair, your lips meeting again and again, taunting darts of the tongue and quick painless bites and stifled moans and grasping tugs at clothes that you’re starting to wish weren’t there at all. It should feel embarrassing, you should feel overexposed, here in this land of unfamiliar expectations and accents and faces. But no one seems to be watching too closely. This must be so tame in the world of rock stars, it occurs to you; almost wholesome. And you can’t remember a time you’ve ever felt more at peace.

“There’s a pool table in the next room,” someone says, startling you, and you break away from John to discover Roger perched on the arm of the couch, grinning coyly as he sips his emerald glass bottle of Stella Artois. “I mean…you know. If you’re into that. John’s got all sorts of moves, we played for days at a time at Ridge Farm. You could challenge him to a round or two. Place bets. But be warned…he’s a total pool shark.”

“Is he?” you ask mischievously, clasping the lapel of John’s leather jacket. Even if you freed him, he shows no indication of retreating. He’s raking his knuckles back and forth along the length of your thigh that your little black dress leaves exposed, never venturing above the hem.  

Roger winks. “Just thought you might want to know.” Then he hops off the couch and disappears into the crowd again.

John is trying to keep his eyes locked on yours, and no lower. He’s trying to not be even vanishingly forceful. He’s trying not to sway you. But you know exactly what he wants. “Do you…?”

“Show me how to play pool,” you whisper. And you lead him through the shuffling bodies and boisterous, increasingly intoxicated laughter and cumulus clouds of cigarette smoke to the door on the other side of the room.

Beyond the threshold you find a pool table and not much else. It’s terribly unceremonious; it’s absolutely perfect. You can hear Blondie’s Call Me playing back in the packed room where the rest of the band is still reveling, the bass crawling through the walls to radiate in your eardrums, your bones. You lock the door and reach out to flick off the harsh florescent lights, but John stops you. You don’t have to ask him why. He wants to be able to see you. He asks if this is okay—again, wordlessly, with the forthright blue of his eyes—and you nod. And then he kisses you as you drag him in, breathing in his cologne and nicotine, tasting the virgin Coke on his lips that he drank just for you.

John tears off his leather jacket. You toss the faux fur that Kevin lent you to the floor. You climb up onto the pool table, and John follows you. You yank off his shirt, link your suede boots around him as he positions himself between your naked, down-soft thighs. And then John stops.

“Look, I have to be honest,” he says. His hands tremble as they cradle the small of your back, just barely. “I’m newly divorced, and I’m really out of practice, I mean really out of practice, and this is not at all my usual way of doing things, and if I’m total rubbish or only last like thirty seconds or something I just want to apologize in advance and swear that I’ll do absolutely everything I can to make this worth it for you. Because I like you. I really, really like you.”

“I’m a little rusty too,” you confess with a small, sheepish smile. But he doesn’t need to know exactly how rusty you are, or in how many ways, all those layers of blood-hued ruin that spin webs from the skin down to the marrow.

John seems relieved. “Then maybe we’re even.”

You’re not even, you’re nowhere close; but it’s comforting that he thinks you could be.

John kisses you again. His hands find the zipper on the back of your dress, and then the tiny metal clasp of your bra, and then the black lace of your panties…and then everything else as well.

~~~~~~~~~~

Afterwards, you return together to the green velvet couch in the next room, not with bashful swiftness but with your hands entwined, your eyes satiated and calm, your clothes unapologetically rumpled. The partying is winding down. The song pouring through the stereo speakers is In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins. And now you and John don’t talk very much at all; you just sit there with fresh cups of Coke, your head resting against his chest, his left arm draped around you, watching the rest of the universe spin on like a carousel as your feet stay rooted to the earth.

“So you’re the smart one,” you say eventually. “You must be, with an electrical engineering degree.”

“You’d be surprised. We’re rather erudite, as far as rock stars go.” He smiles drowsily down at you. “Freddie’s got a degree in graphic art and design. Roger has one in biology. Brian has the better part of a PhD in astrophysics. He might even go back to finish it one day. He probably will, just to be able to lord it over us.”

“Wow,” you reply, distantly, suddenly feeling very small.

“What did you study?” he asks you.

In truth, you never finished college; but you aren’t going to tell John that. “Something useless.”

John is intrigued, and perhaps a little concerned as well. His brow furrows with grooves like lines of fortune in an open palm.

“I wanted to be a painter,” you explain, smirking at the absurdity. “But the world doesn’t need painters anymore. They have pictures and videos that are just as clear as real life. They don’t need my fantasies or interpretations. They have reality.”

“I think we still need painters,” John disagrees, his calloused fingertips tracing lazy circles around your bare shoulder.

“Really?”

“Yeah. For when reality requires improving.”

You let a few moments of silence tick by. And then you put on your faux fur jacket, finish the last of your Coke, stand and find your balance on the low heels of your boots with exhausted, shaky calves.

John jolts upright, somewhat alarmed. “Hey, you don’t have to—”

“This was great, John. This was the best night I’ve had in a long time. So thank you for that. But I have to go home now.”

“Okay.” He studies you, processing. “Okay, okay. I’ll have Chubby drive you.”

“That’s really not necessary, I can get a cab…”

But John has already waved Chubby over, and the massive man appears serendipitously with an impossible degree of stealth. Kevin finds you, staggering, babbling breathlessly about all of his adventures, showing you where Freddie and Roger and Brian signed his chest with a black Sharpie, repeating the same stories on an identical loop every few minutes. As you leave, you offer John a brief parting wave; and he returns it, like a reflection in a mirror, but he’s wearing a pensive frown and eyes dark with thought. Then again, maybe you are too.

Chubby leads you and Kevin outside to the waiting limousine. You slip into the backseat, ply Kevin with bottled water, open the sunroof so moonlight and cold, reviving November air can flood in like a river.

Kevin is coming down now from the high of the champagne and the concert and the carousing with Freddie Mercury. He blinks, soaking you in, really seeing you for the first time in hours. “Wow, you had a good night with Casablanca. You had a really good night.”

“Yeah,” you reply softly, resting your head against the window and watching the stars and streetlights pass by above like seasons. “And it will never happen again.”

[chasseuses]

reasons why I love jade leech and why you should too.

yes- my overwhelming love for jade has brought me up to this point. this is just me rambling about jade. i may regret doing this bUT FUCK IT LET'S GIVE THE MUSHROOM MAN SOME LOVE ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

NOT GONNA FUCKING LIE BUT THE FIRST TIME THE OCTAVINELLE BANNER THINGY WHEN TWST WASN'T RELEASED I-????

I THOUGHT THE TWINS LOOKED WACK + AZUL

"no way in hell am I gonna stan these two lmaoo they look wack smh"

turns out I was wrong-_;3+4+_(_+($_+($+$(&+$(+$(#+$

I PAID NO FUCKING ATTENTION TO OCTAVINELLE saying to myself that I AM A RIDDLE SIMP THROUGH AND THROUGH

lol but

chapter 3

changed my life

SIR HIS VOICE-- HELLO????????? BRO???_($99#($($($ I HAD LITERAL SHIVERS GO DOWN MY SPINE WHEN I HEARD IT BECAUSE O H G OD

the fact that his exchange with floyd, yes the "ne jeido" "e floyd" thingy, IS ABSOLUTELY SO FUCKINDHDSKDHJSVRJSGDHDDGDJDGDJDGSJDGJSDHJSHSJSJSJDJDJJ J CANT BRRATHE

ok I'll get serious now fuvk

Jade Leech, the vice dorm leader of Octavinelle and the twin brother of Floyd Leech. Founder of the Mountain Lovers club and a fucking adorable dork who loves mushrooms and terrariums.

God knows how I love him so much I can cry over him for weeks.

100/10 seems shady af- looks like he can kill you, and he can. that's kinda hot don't u think so???

bruh, the way he talks about creepy things while smiling all gentlemanly is kinda hot. ik it's weird to be attracted to this but pLEASE-

THIS MAN HAS SHARP TEETH I WILL CRY PLEASE [REDACTED] ME.

HE HAS REALLY REALLY REEEEEALLY NICE EYES‼️ IT'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST REASONS WHY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH‼️( also purple eyeliner hehehe u gotta love him )

His matching earring with Floyd?? Absolutely wonderful. The thought that the both of them have matching earrings i --- cr y a little everytiime.

Also- that darker and longer strand of his hair? I want to play with that, please.

his mf face oh god, do you ever think abt how he could say "I'll gobble you up." in his normal voice and we can't fucking tell if he's serious or joking because of his fucking normal expression oh god gobble me up please-- IM KIDDING OF COURSE, maybe.

He has nice, long, slender hands. Perfect for unprotected h*nd h*lding 😳 GODDAMN I WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND WHEEEJFHEKBFKEHDJFHDKCHKCHKDHCKDHCJ

Also the glove-????? I'D PREFER IT IF HE TOOK IT OFF BUT THAT'S ONE NICE GLOVE YOU GOT THERE 😳

holding hands with him will be a fucking blessing sent directly from the heavens above. pls stan him.

he's an eel. that is all

LOOK AT HIS MF EXPRESSIOFN I A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A SIR-??'?($83)$+#)+")$+_("!$

ok back to the topic-

do you ever think about how-- how he loves mushrooms sm and even founded a club because he likes hunting for them in mountains?? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW HE'S PROBABLY ALL ALONE WHILE DOING THAT????????? LET ME INTO THAT CLUB‼️

He likes gazing at stars. Please pleasr please let me gaze at the stars with u sir

He's pretty good with his hands- or so they say 👀 he can cook-- and he draws 👀 you gotta love a man who can use his hands well don't u think so too 👀👀👀

this bitch is 190cm tall. that is all. i want him to tower over me.

"Fufu, I grew up in the deep sea up north. The cold in the freezer feels pretty good." YOU CAN PUT HIM INA FR E R ZER IT'S RLLY RANDOM BUT HE CAN STAND THE COLF WHICH IS A FNKDHFKSBDKSHDJSGDKXHKSGCKSHCKDGXKDHCKDKC

have I mentioned his obsession with mushrooms??? This!! THIS CUTE EEL RAISES HIS MUSHROOMS WITH ALL OF HIS HEART DJDJDNXB ALL THE LOVE AND AFFECTION FOR HIS SHROOMS..... ISN'T HE JUST-???"($(_+($+_ THE CUTEST?????

DO YOU SEE HOW SOFT HE LOOKS???? I WANT HIM TO LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT TOO WTF ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

AND THE WAY HIS CHEEKS..... HIS CHEEKS GO SQOOSH GFJSJSHZKHRKDHRJSHD JEIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

HIS TALENT IS SERVING TEA‼️‼️ DON'T U WANT SOMEONE AS GENTLEMANLY AND HANDSOME AS JADE TO SERVE U TEA ‼️‼️

Don't you just hate how Jade can go from "I'll have her home by 8" to "Your daughter calls me daddy too" bECAUSE I

I'm not even gonna explain this one.

JUST IMAGINE IF HE,,,,,, IF HE WENT FERAL‼️‼️ I WOULF PAY TO SEE THAY OH MY hjfhdkDHSKDHSKDHKXJDKXHD FERAL JADE E E E E E E E E E

yeah so you know his one voice line that goes "Clothes feel so restrictive… It’s been a while since I came on land, but I’m still not used to them." Yeah then take them off! I won't mind (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

DID I MENTION ABT HIS TERRARIUMS???? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH GOD HE'S SO CUTE DO U JUST IMAGIEN HDIFMFEBJFHDNFB FOCUSINDGFJDUFJDNJRNXKDBDKDBDKDJKFDHKXHFKDJDKDK wait jm freaking out

this man.... this man can cook. and that seals the fucking deal for me because 😭

He!! Loves!! His!! Brother!! KFNSKDHKSJDKSHDJD BABY 😭😭💖😭💖💖😭‼️HfbskdhHFKSBFKSBDKSNDN JEIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

he likes unpredictable things which is why he likes being with floyd all the time i 😔 I'll be unpredictable for u ZjfjsjdJFBDJFND KIDDING

this is floyd's caretaker we're talking about 😭 which means he is husband material ™ DONT CHEAT ON HIM ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

or else 👀

did i mention how cute he fucking looks everytime his cheeks go sqoosh because istg I start simping whenever I see it.

ALMOST FORGOT TO ADD BUT LIKE-??? THE WAY HE SAVED MC AND CATER FROM ROOK AND TREY DURING THE BEANDESJD SEVENT I WILL FJDJFJFKDJFJJDHCJDHFKDHFKHFJDCJDHCNDJFBJDHFKDJFJDJFKCIFNCKFBCKFNFKFJKDJFKRBFKDJFKFJJF

KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR HELL YEAH HE'S PERFECT

lastly, i want him to punch me in the face. that's it.

AND I THINK THAT'S IT-??? ( Of course not- i can point out more things i love abt him but like-???? I NEED TO CALM DOWN!! anyways, pls stan jade i love him so much i cr y <3

[little-kat07]

The Perfect Cake

[OH MY GOD GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! 

A couple days ago, i suddenly remembered that I HAVE AN AO3 ACCOUNT. I completely forgot I had one. So I went back and looked at my works and holy hell guys, I had a ONESHOT BOOK! BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ONESHOTS WERE SO I CALLED THEM ‘Sanders Stories’, BECAUSE THEY WERE SANDERS SIDES. THEY’RE KIND OF CRAPPY BUT ALSO REALLY NOSTALGIC AND I’M SO HAPPY I FOUND THEM!!!!

This one particular one is called “The Perfect Cake,” and i’m actually kind of proud of past me for it, even though it’s not that good. It’s fluffy Logicality with a gallon of Patton angst because that is literally all I’m good at writing.

So I’m going to leave this here, as well as a link to the book! GUYS I’M JUST SO HAPPY!]

[In case you’re confused, the link I send will be to the whole book so the first chapter isn’t the one that I’m pasting here. This chapter, The Perfect Cake, is the second oneshot and the first one is prinxiety]

Link to book

---

Pairings: Logicality

TW: Baking, feelings of worthlessness, crying, birthday, breakdown

Summary: It’s Logan’s birthday tomorrow, and Patton is determined to bake the PERFECT cake for it (Even if he hasn’t baked that much before.) He’s trying his best, but he can’t do it alone.

---

Patton stood in the center of the kitchen.

He often had the same feeling in his stomach before he cooked something big; He had to mentally prepare himself for hours of work.

Logan's Birthday was tomorrow, and Patton had to make it the best possible birthday! This was the anniversary of the first day Thomas went to preschool- the day Logan was formed.

Patton remembered that day like it was yesterday. He remembered a small toddler with an intelligent sparkle in his eye knocking on the door of the commons, he remembered how he swore Patton's hugs might suffocate someone. He remembered growing up with him, and slowly falling in love, and-

Shoot. No. These emotions weren't logical, it was impossible for Logan to like Patton back. He had to stop thinking like that.

Illogical feelings or not, tomorrow was Logan's day to shine, and it had to be perfect. Patton had to bake the most amazing, most beautiful, most delicious cake ever to grace the Mind-scape.

Patton took a deep breath and got to work.

After a few hours, Patton had been worked to death. He had been trying and trying to make the perfect cake, but it was always just wrong, or the product of a mistake. His pink apron was wrinkled and dirty, and he had streaks of batter all over his face. He had started at 6 am, and it was now 8. He sighed and rubbed his face, grateful that he still had his optimism.

"Patton? You ok, Padre?"

Patton turned to find Roman standing in the kitchen doorway, eyes sparking with worry.

Patton smiled. "Oh, I'm alright, kiddo. Just trying to bake a cake for Logan. I can't seem to get it right."

Roman smirked and came in. "Want some help? I've never baked before, but I'll help if it's bothering you."

Patton grinned and gave the Prince a huge hug. "Thank you so much, kiddo! I'm sure you will be a great help!"

Oh, how wrong Patton had been.

Virgil had often joked about how Roman wouldn't stop singing to save his life, and Patton was pretty sure that was true. Every 5 minutes, just as they started to get some work done, the prince would start belting out lyrics to disney songs or dancing around the kitchen. They got as far as perfectly mixing the batter before Patton had to stop him.

"Look, kiddo..." Patton started, rubbing his hands together and trying to find a way to put this nicely. "You helped me make the perfect batter, and I am so proud of you for that, but I think maybe you should clock out? You have been a great help, but you... Um... Sing a lot." Patton winced, afraid Roman was going to be offended.

Roman nodded in understanding and put a hand on patton's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. I know I can be distracting. Do you want me to go see if Virgil will help you?"

Patton nodded, thankful. "That would be great!"

Roman left the kitchen yelling "HOT TOPIC! PAT WANTS YOU!"

Patton watched him go with a proud smile, and then turned to clean up the kitchen.

Just as he was halfway through cleaning, Virgil came into the kitchen with his hood up. "Sup', Pop star?"

Patton grinned and gave Virgil a big hug, which the emo reluctantly returned. "My dark, strange son! I am baking a cake for Logan’s birthday, and I need your help!" Patton pulled away from Virgil, smiling. "Roman already helped me make the batter, but he can be a bit much in the kitchen. Would you mind helping out for the rest of the process?"

Virgil shrugged. "I have nothing better to do."

Patton knew that that was Virgil's way of saying "I would love to."

Virgil was very helpful cleaning up the kitchen. He had a sort of efficient way of doing things, just one after the other, not saying a word. It was kind of satisfying to watch.

It got a bit hectic after that, though. Once they were done cleaning, they had to pour the batter into the pans. It was going to be a big cake, like, "Corpse Bride" big. So they had to use multiple pans and lots of batter. Virgil had violently shaky hands, and had lots of trouble pouring the batter in. In the end, Patton had to pour all the batter himself, and the kitchen ended up very messy.

Virgil's eyeshadow was darker than when he had initially come in. "I-im sorry... I didn't mean to mess up, I just-"

Patton smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "No no, you didn't do anything wrong, kiddo! You just had a little trouble with steadying your hands. I'm very proud of you for helping me clean up, but maybe we should get someone else to help us here? Maybe Jan?"

Virgil smirked sadly. "I think maybe i'll duck out for now, but I'll tell Janus you want his help."

"Thanks, son!"

Virgil stepped out of the kitchen yelling "HEY SNAKE BOY!"

Patton sighed. This was not going the way he had wanted it to. He did realize that if Janus ended up being bad at this, his last choice was Remus, and he was terrified of going down that road.

He had just cleaned the batter from the stovetop when Janus walked into the kitchen. "Hey Pat, did you need something?"

Pat smiled tiredly. "Hey, Janjan. I was going to bake a cake for Logan, but i'm having some trouble. Roman and Virge weren't so good at it, so I wanted to see if you would help?"

Jan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm tooooootally not disappointed that you worked with Emo and Sir Singalot before you thought about the second smartest person here," He said sarcastically.

"Mm-hm!" Patton managed to say before taking a deep breath to control himself.

Janus helped Patton bake the cake and even out the tops with a bread knife. The next thing they had to do was spread the buttercream filling on the layers so they could be stacked.

Jan looked in the fridge like Patton told him to. "I don't see the buttercream."

Patton walked over and scanned the fridge. It was gone.

He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through his hair. "Where the heck is it? If I have to make more, I swear I will-"

"Make more of what?" Remus poked his head into the kitchen curiously.

"The buttercream filling for Logan's cake is gone."

Remus cocked his head. "Buttercream? Hmmm... OH! Yeah, I ate that."

Patton's eyes widened. "You did WHAT?" Remus smiled fearfully while Patton yelled. "THE ONE THING YOU EAT THAT IS ACTUAL FOOD, AND IT HAS TO BE THE BUTTERCREAM?"

For once, Janus looked worried. "Patton, are you ok? You aren't acting like yourself..."

The dad side breathed in and out rapidly, his hands running through his hair. He tried to calm himself down- He was the happy side, not the angry side. He could get through this. "I'm fine. I'm calm. I can do this."

"Gee, I'm sorry, Pat," Said Remus. He suddenly grinned. "I can throw it up for you, if you want!"

"NO! No, no. I think we will be ok," Janus said, pushing Remus out of the room. He turned to face Pat. "Patpat, are you ok?"

Janus sometimes called Patton Patpat, mostly as payback for Patton calling him Janjan. But when the two became good friends, they used them as nicknames instead.

"I'm fine, Janjan. I'm just having some feelings. Feelings are okay though! I'm ok."

Janus sighed. "If you say so."

They worked together to make a new batch of buttercream, allowing the cake to cool. The original buttercream had been baby blue, but Patton had no more baby blue dye, so they used indigo instead. They layered and stacked the cake with the buttercream, used support sticks to keep the cake from falling over, and then started to layer it with dark blue fondant.

Patton looked over at Janus. "Would you mind taking off the gloves? Sorry, but this is very delicate and I think you should use your bare hands."

Janus frowned. "I shouldn't. I have scales on my left hand, if I use it, it will leave a scale imprint on the fondant."

Patton blinked sadly at him. "Oh, ok."

Patton handled the fondant, and as he fit it into place, he thought the cake looked beautiful. "Only one thing left to do: DECORATE!!!"

Patton was an amazing decorator.

After years of theming cookies and cupcakes to each side, baking birthday cakes, and writing messages in crofters jelly for a scavenger hunt, Patton had a handle on how to make things look presentable. Right now, It was a giant 3-layer cake with blue fondant covering, but soon, it would be a masterpiece.

Janus coughed uncomfortably behind Patton. "Um... Since i'm not very good at this stuff... Can I go? I have my own present I wanted to work on."

Patton smiled at him. "Sure! Don't spoil anything to Lolo, ok?"

Deceit nodded and almost left the kitchen before turning back and saying, "Uh, hey, Patpat? Don't stress yourself out too much, 'Kay?"

Patton nodded back. "Of course."

Janus smiled, relieved, and left.

---

---

Patton was SO TIRED.

It was 8 in the morning on Logan's Birthday. Patton had worked all night on that cake and when he had finally finished it, he went right to bed without doing anything in between. He had just woken up, feeling groggy and confused, but he made himself get out of bed because it was Logan's special day.

Logan woke up that day happy. He knew that a birthday was pointless, it was a celebration of one year passing in an entities life, it made no logical sense. But if the other sides wanted to shower him with attention once per fricking year, he did not want to miss this chance.

Patton got out of bed the last out of all the others. Logan had woken up to the other four sides, Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil ready for him in the living room with gifts and treats. Logan had thought that Patton would be the first there, energized and grinning, the way he always was. But Patton was nowhere in sight.

When Patton did come out, he put on his best happy face and gave Logan the biggest hug he could muster. Logan smiled a little. "To this day, I swear, your hugs might suffocate someone!"

Patton laughed and grinned at him, just happy he had gotten through yesterday.

First, they made breakfast. Jan made waffles with crofters jelly and eggs, and they all sat around the table reminiscing about the past. They talked about when logan first got his glasses, when he had a stutter, and everything else that Patton could remember. Which was everything, since Patton kept every memory stored in his room.

Next, they had gifts. Roman gave him a lab in the imagination; with chemistry sets, a telescope, and books upon books upon books. It was his own little area in Roman's realm so Logan could enjoy himself every now and then. Virgil gave him a dictionary of every word in the world, in every language. Janus gave him a replica of the Library of Alexandria, with all of the scrolls and books still there. "The original one was burned down with all of it's knowledge," he said, "So here is-" "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT THANK YOU!" Remus gave Logan an animal to dissect. But it wasn't a real animal, it was something Remus had made to give Logan something to do.

Patton promised Logan that his gift would come after dinner. He felt as though his cake paled in comparison to all of the gifts his friends had given. I mean, the Library of Alexandria? Patton sunk lower in his chair.

After gifts, they had lunch in a beautiful field that Roman had created, where the flies ate grass instead of your food, and every bird was adorned with beautiful shimmering colors and tail feathers. They had PB&J sandwiches (with crofters, of course), Goldfish, and apples. They talked for hours about nothing in particular, every now and then asking Roman about the creatures that walked by.

Logan was having a great time, but something seemed off. He looked around at the group and his eyes settled on Patton. The more he looked at him, the more tired he seemed. Logan noticed shadows under Patton's eyes for the first time, and saw that his smile was beginning to look more and more forced. Logan began to worry that one of them had done something wrong. The usual bundle of joy and energy that was Patton looked a lot more docile and tired than before.

Once it started to get dark (because Roman had set a day-night cycle in the imagination just so they would know when to go) they went back to the commons for dinner. Janus cooked some brown sugared ham with peas and rice, while Patton left to get the cake ready.

As Patton walked into the kitchen, he took a look at the cake on the pedestal. Dark fondant with baby blue frosting in swirls, and a little fondant necktie decoration on the second tear to tease about Logan's necktie. The name "Logan" was scribbled in white frosting on top.

He remembered the tall pillars in the Library of Alexandria Jan had made, he remembered the sparkling equipment Roman had conjured. He remembered the giant dictionary, the animal-

Patton looked at the cake and sighed. He honestly didn't know what he was thinking. But this was what he had done. He would just have to work with it, and maybe make up for it with a different gift later.

He picked up the large cake in his arms. It was very heavy, and there was one whole room between the kitchen and the dining room; the living area. Patton just had to bring it over.

He left the kitchen with the cake, and he was doing well with it considering he couldn't see his feet, and then he tripped.

...and then he tripped.

His foot caught against something on the ground and he stumbled, causing the cake to drop out of his arms and onto the floor. It fell sideways, and broke upon impact, and the cake broke up on the floor. Bits and pieces everywhere. Patton had fallen, and he had scraped his elbow, but he didn't care. He didn't care anymore.

He had spent a whole god-forsaken day trying to get this right. He remembered Roman's singing, Virgil's shaky hands, Remus's eating habits, Janus' scales, and he could feel himself sinking into the ground. He just wanted this to be perfect. Logan deserved something perfect.

The cake was broken, and the world was quiet, and Patton wondered for a moment if he had gone deaf. The Mindscape was silent. He felt the tears on his cheeks, but he didn't cry. Patton was the joyful and happy side, so he didn't cry. Water fell from his eyes in waterfalls and rivers across his skin, but he wasn't crying, that's not how he worked. Even when sobs racked his body and made his chest hurt. He wasn't crying.

It was just a god forsaken cake, why the heck was he crying? It was just a cake. It was just a cake.

Shoot, this isn't ABOUT THE CAKE.

Logan and all the other sides sat in the dining room, talking happily about whatever came to mind. Patton had left to get the cake, but he hadn't come back yet. Logan had eaten his dinner and was now staring at the door. He tried to focus on the conversation, but he thought Patton seemed a little late.

"Hey, Nerd, whatcha' looking at?" Roman asked, walking up behind his chair, bending down, and following Logan's line of sight.

Logan didn't turn his gaze from the door. "I feel like Pat should have been back by now. Actually, Roman, maybe you could check on him?"

Behind Logan's back, Roman and Virgil exchanged a glance, and Roman understood immediately.

"Actually, Lo, maybe you should go check on him? It is your cake after all."

Logan stood up from his chair and walked out of the dining room. "I suppose so."

Virgil snickered. "Oh my god, he is so oblivious. I ship them so badly..."

Logan walked out of the dining room and almost choked.

Patton was on the floor, with his hands in his face. Was he crying? Patton didn't cry. He was too happy to cry. He was too fricking perfect to cry. WHO THE HECK MADE PAT CRY?

Then logan saw the floor. The cake, he realized, was broken up and smashed to bits on the ground. The fondant was ripped apart, save for a small black fondant necktie. Patton must have dropped the cake. It looked like it had been big.

Logan didn't hesitate for a second. He kneeled down beside Patton, wrapping his arms around him and quietly letting him sob.

Patton felt someone's arms around him, and they had glasses, he knew, because the glasses were pressed against his temple. But that meant it was Logan. Logan was here, and he can see the cake, and he is probably so mad. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan and cried into his shoulder. He didn't like Logan to be angry. Hugs fixed that. Right?

"Pat? Patton, don't cry, what's wrong?"

Patton could barely find the breath to speak.

"I-I dropped it. The thing... I-I mess-Messed up... It's all g-gone..."

"Shhhh. Shhh, it's not your fault, don't worry. Patton, I love the cake. It's looks like it was beautiful, thank you."

Patton just kept sobbing, his glasses getting foggy. Logan knew the side was emotional, but really, it was just a cake, and Logan wasn't even mad at Patton. In fact, Logan didn't think he was capable of being mad at Patton.

Patton was sad about the cake. Of course, it was horribly destroyed, and he had spent a long, tiresome day making it perfect. And now it was all gone, and Patton had no gift to give.

To Pat, this was bigger than that though. Logan was supposed to have the perfect birthday, but Patton had messed all of that up. He had nothing to give logan. Every day of his life, his goal was to give something, to be helpful, and to care for others. He had messed up today.

"I-i don't know wh-what to do. I just... I just wanted-d to g-give you something. I-It's a-all gone n-now. Th-the d-day is ruined."

Logan frowned. What would someone with a better sense of emotions say? Seeing Patton like this made him so sad, what could he do?

He remembered something Pat had said to him a long time ago, when he was getting used to emotions. 'When someone is feeling down, speak from the heart! The best thing you can do is tell them the truth, and if they don't like it, then they have a right to feel a little sad. But you should still try!'

"Pat, I know you are sad. I understand that you wanted to make this a good day, but it WAS a good day. I enjoyed every moment of today. Sure, the cake is messed up, but it's the thought that counts, and you are already the best gift I could ask for."

Patton looked up in confusion. "Me?"

Logan was usually really bad at emotions, but right now, emotions seemed to be all he could muster. "You are so caring and joyful. And sweet. And kind. And I don't care about the cake, or any gift you give me, the fact that you are so set on making me feel cared for is enough. I'm just happy you're here, ok?"

Logan brushed a tear from Patton's eye and smiled. "I'm just happy you're here."

[cardest]

Sweden playlist

Goodness! The Swedish Chef is deliriously pleased with this Sweden playlist. Det här är otroligt! It’s not far off 350 songs. Can we get there? I think so. (I tried to get songs by Retaliation and 10,000 years, but maybe later when someone puts up those songs on Youtube). This is epic!

What songs and bands have I overlooked for this? I bet there’s plenty. Sweden is just oozing with so much talent and so many great bands. Listen to the playlist here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1-HqTl9SJKkER2dKbR2NWkE Add your songs and suggestions. Tack! SWEDEN

001 The Muppet Show - Swedish Chef goes bezerk in the kitchen 002 Grand Magus -  Fear Is The Key 003 In Flames -  Pinball Map 004 Entombed - Like This With The Devil 005 Soilwork - Figure Number Five 006 The Divine Comedy - Sweden 007 Bathory - Reaper 008 ABBA - Take a Chance On Me 009 Therion - Gothic Kabbalah 010 Moloko - Indigo 011 Katatonia - I Break 012 Opeth - The Baying Of The Hounds 013 Sabaton -  Carolus Rex 014 Europe - Scream Of Anger 015 Jean-Louis Aubert - Stockholm 016 Blues Pills -  Jupiter 017 Amon Amarth  - The Pursuit of Vikings 018 Triakel - Alla Gossar (Swedish folk music ) 019 Arcana - As the End Draws Near 020 Kenta  Guldkorn  - Stockholm 021 Tiamat - Whatever That Hurts   022 AVATARIUM - The Starless Sleep 023 Spiritual Beggars  -  Star Born 024 Dismember - Dreaming In Red 025 Lasse Berghagen - Pomperipossa 026 In Solitude - Sister 027 Sahg III - Baptism of Fire 028 Ebba Grön - Mona Tumbas Slim Club 029 Nightingale -  The Dreamreader 030 Roxette - Dressed For Success 031 Ghost - Rats 032 Yngwie J. Malmsteen – Far Beyond The Sun 033 Candlemass - Crystal Ball 034 Bathory - Under The Runes 035 Orup - Stockholm 036 Katla - Embryo 037 Pugh Rogefeldt - hog farm 038 Trees of Eternity - Gallows Bird (feat. Nick Holmes) 039 Paatos - Shame 040 THE STRANGLERS  - SWEDEN 041 Katatonia - Brave   042 Brighter Death Now - No Salvation 043 Nationalteatern - Livet är en fest 044 Meshuggah -  Bleed 045 Sir Douglas Quintet  - Meet Me In Stockholm   046 Ulf Lundell - Stockholm City 047 In Mourning - Fire & Ocean 048 Dark Tranquillity - The Science Of Noise 049 Blue Swede - Hooked On a Feeling 050 Clawfinger - The Truth 051 John Coltrane - Dear Old Stockholm 052 The Hellacopters - In The Sign Of The Octopus 053 Hypocrisy -  a coming race 054 Carola - Mig Var Du Står 055 Bloodbath - Let The Stillborn Come To Me 056 Vapnet - Stockholm sett snett uppifran 057 Mercy - Im Your Pervert Priest 058 The Spotnicks - Hava Nagila 059 Vanhelgd - Allt Hopp ar Fobi 060 Mammoth Storm - Fornjot 061 Vomitory - redemption 062 Entrails - No Cross Left Unturned 063 Virna Lindt - Attention Stockholm 064 Night - Fire Across the Sky 065 Dungen dar -  Har du vart i Stockholm 066 The Hives - Hate To Say I Told You So 067 Sabaton - Gott Mit Uns 068 Svante Thuresson Och Totta Näslund - Stockholm Sweetnin' 069 Lake of Tears -  To Blossom Blue 070 Scott Walker - The Seventh Seal 071 Garmarna - Vänner och fränder   072 Stockholms Negrer - Det förlovade landet 073 Thåström - Ballad om en gammal knarkare 074 The Haunted - Godpuppet 075 Ordo Equilibrio - The First Harvest 076 Therion -  The Dreams Of Swedenborg 077 VINTERSORG - Fjällets mäktiga mur   078 Aeon - Aeons Black 079 Arckanum - Trulmælder 080 Edge of Sanity - Enigma   081 Scar Symmetry - The Illusionist 082 Tribulation -  Melancholia 083 Witchcraft - It's Not Because Of You 084 At The Gates - At The Gates 085 Unleashed - The One Insane 086 Candlemass - ancient dreams 087 Hasse Andersson - Guld och grona skogar   088 Crucified Barbara -  Electric Sky 089 Evergrey -  The Grand Collapse 090 Lord Belial - Bleed on the Cross 091 Hedningarna - Räven 092 Dismember - Pieces (with intro) 093 Entombed  - Sinners Bleed 094 MUSE - Stockholm Syndrome 095 Bathory - Valhalla 096 Gösta Berlings Saga - The Shortcomings Of Efficiency 097 Tiamat - The Ar 098 Oz - Turn the cross upside down 099 Grand Magus - I Am The North 100 Soilwork -  Light The Torch 101 Spiritual Beggars - Fools Gold 102 Stuck In Motion - Moon 103 Cult of Luna - Receiver 104 Arcana - A Cage 105 Memento Mori - The Seeds of Hatred 106 Wolfbrigade - Barren Dreams 107 Dr Zeke - Jag Ska Aldrig Dö 108 Yngwie Malmsteen - gimme gimme gimme (your lust after midnight) 109 Arch Enemy - Pilgrim 110 Torch - Watcher Of The Night 111 Magic - Vi drar på disco 112 Refused -  Elektra 113 Grave - Into The Grave 114 Lädernunnan - Ensam I Natt 115 The Orchard Enterprises - Fear Might Harm Self 116 Suma - Swordlord 117 Kulning - Ancient Swedish herdingcall 118 Bob Hund - Ska du hanga med Na 119 Dark Funeral - As One We Shall Conquer 120 Disfear - Get it off   121 Ghost -  From The Pinnacle To The Pit 122 Morbus Chron - Chains 123 Heavy Load - Traveller 124 Therion - Tuna 1613 125 Entombed -  Left Hand Path 126 Hearse - Mountain of the Solar Eclipse 127 Monolord - The Last Leaf 128 Night Viper - The Wolverine 129 Agrimonia - A World Unseen 130 Jonathan Hultén - Nightly sun 131 Diabolical Masquerade - Blackheim's Quest To Bring Back The Stolen Autumn 132 Army Of Lovers - Crucified 133 Dissection - Where Dead Angels Lie   134 Noctum _Liberty in Death 135 Europe - Open Your Heart 136 Darkane  - Secondary Effects 137 Candlemass - Codex Gigas 138 Bathory - Enter Your Mountain 139 ABBA - Ring Ring (Bara du slog en signal) Swedish Version 140 Watain - Malfeitor 141 Louise Lemón - Devil 142 Cult Of Luna - Vague Illusions 143 Diablo Swing Orchestra -  Black Box Messiah 144 Opeth - Nectar 145 Hills - Milarepa 146 Ceremonial Oath - The Book Of Truth 147 Dark Tranquillity - Silence And the Firmament Withdrew 148 Göteborg Sound - Björn Borg 149 In Flames -  Reflect The Storm 150 MESHUGGAH - Demiurge   151 Expiremental Pop Band - Gothenburg 152 Millencolin - polar bears 153 Hedningarna - Pornopolka 154 Ratata - Ogon Av Is Liv Utan Spanning   155 OBSCURITY - Roses With Thorns 156 Nifelheim - Sodomizer 157 Soilwork - One With The Flies 158 Gardenian - Netherworld 159 Cemetary - Sundown 160 Månegarm - Hemfärd 161 Garmarna - Herr Mannelig 162 YE BANISHED PRIVATEERS - First Night Back In Port   163 VINTERSORG - Svältvinter 164 SNOWY SHAW - Nachtgeist 165 Moloken - The Titan Above Us 166 BEWITCHED - HARD AS STEEL (HOT AS HELL) 167 The Night Flight Orchestra - Green Hills Of Glumslov 168 Vanhelgd - Gravens Lovsång 169 Marduk - Christraping Black Metal 170 Garbochock - Streberbarn 171 Negative Self - Back On Track 172 Nightingale - Sleep 173 Iggy Pop - Five Foot One 174 Owe Thörnqvist - Varm korv boogie 175 Candlemass - Elephant Star 176 Tiamat - Cold Seed 177 Dismember - Shadowlands 178 Hypocrisy - Penetralia 179 Therion - Melez 180 Yngwie Malmsteen - You Dont Remember Ill Never Forget 181 Woven Hand -  Swedish Purse 182 Roxette - Joyride 183 Wolf -  Skeleton Woman 184 Europe - Seven doors hotel 185 ABBA - Me Knowing Knowing Youse   186 Opeth - Ghost Of Perdition 187 Katatonia - I Am Nothing 188 Sabaton - Uprising 189 Bathory - Total destruction 190 Cult Of Luna - Owlwood 191 Cortex - Warrior Night 192 Trettioåriga Kriget - Krigssång 193 Lee Hazlewood A House Safe for Tigers 194 Dead Sleep - Back to black 195 Greenleaf  - Tides 196 The Crimson Shadows - When I'm Going Away 197 The Night Flight Orchestra - Transmissions 198 Anekdoten - Nucleus 199 Enhet För Fri Musik - Det Finns Ett Hjärta 200 In Flames - Jotun 201 Dungen - Ta det lugnt 202 Ghost - Ritual 203 Witchery - A Paler Shade of Death 204 Landberk - Tell 205 At The Gates - Blinded By Fear   206 Anna von Hausswolff - Epitaph of Theodor 207 Uran - Mr Piggy 208 Runemagick  Remnants of the Old 209 SKÁLD - Flúga 210 Sacramentum - Far Away from the Sun 211 Dawn - Malediction Murder 212 Nifelheim - No more life 213 Craft - The Cosmic Sphere Falls 214 Solitude Aeturnus -  Waiting for the Light 215 ARCH ENEMY - War Eternal 216 Nasum - Worldcraft 217 Insision - No Belief 218 The Oath - silk road 219 Shining - Förtvivlan Min Arvedel 220 Burst - I Exterminate The I 221 Bloodbound - Stormborn 222 Puissance - Love Incinerate 223 Electric Boys - All Lips 'n Hips 224 Exgenisis - Embers 225 Don Cherry - GamlaStan - The Old Town By Night 226 Raison D'etre -  Sub Specie Aeternitatis 227 Bloodbath  - Weak aside 228 Therion -  Opus Eclipse 229 Cult of Luna - I: The Weapon 230 Marduk - The Sun Turns Black as Night 231 Ragnar Grippe - Symphonic Songs: Part 1 232 Unanimated - From a Throne Below 233 Entombed - Hollowman 234 Grande Royale - Royale 235 PAGANIZER  - Soulless Feeding Machine 236 Bathory - Woman of Dark Desires 237 Paranorm - Critical Mass 238 Refused - The Deadly Rhythm 239 Golgata - Med din kyss kom mörkret 240 Ett Dödens Maskineri – ‘Låsta dörrar 241 MÖRK GRYNING - Fältherren   242 Daughter Chaos - The space born 243 BLUES PILLS - Rhythm In The Blood 244 LUCIFER - Ghosts 245 November - Mount Everest 246 Dissection - Night's Blood 247 Tøronto - Lights Out At Bedlam 248 ICE AGE - Breaking The Ice 249 Sweven - By Virtue of a Promise 250 Ghost-  Year Zero 251 TRIBULATION - Strange Gateways Beckon 252 Drain S.T.H. - Crack the Liar´s Smile 253 Horisont - Odyssey 254 Witchcraft - Snake 255 Kirstie Sarboe - Ein Student Aus Uppsala 256 Sodomisery - Reapers Key 257 Opeth - Under The Weeping Moon 258 Olle Adolphson - Gustav Lindströms visa 259 Therion - The Wild Hunt 260 Bloodbath - Bloodicide 261 Bathory - The Golden Walls of Heaven 262 Soilwork - Follow the Hollow 263 Magnus Härenstam - Huddinge, Tullinge, Tumba 264 OBSTRUKTION - Hopeless Path 265 Amon Amarth - The Way Of Vikings 266 Anguish - When the Ancients Dare to Walk 267 Palme sköt först - Spiders 268 Totalitär - Allt Är Inom Dig 269 Vassago - Sign of Vassago 270 Larma - Elitens Eskapism 271 ENSNARED - Anti-Prophet 272 Third Storm - Forgotten Deity 273 Chronic Decay - Ecstasy In Pain 274 Transport League - Man Sized Drain 275 Nasum - mass hypnosis 276 Inevitable End - Memento 277 Candlemass - Dancing in the Temple (Of the Mad Queen Bee) 278 Gadget - Remote 279 Sayyadina - Nothing 280 Coldworker - The Contaminated Void 281 Katatonia - Teargas 282 In Flames - Dead God in Me 283 Trial - Motherless 284 Watain - Satan's Hunger 285 Bewitched - Rise Of The Antichrist 286 Shining - Jag Är Din Fiende 287 In Solitude - Witches Sabbath 288 Comecon - The House That Man Built 289 Marduk - The Black Tormentor of Satan 290 Lifelover - M/s salmonella 291 Naglfar - Enslave the Astral Fortress 292 Sacrilege - Sweet Moment of Triumph   293 Spiritual Beggars - Monster Astronauts 294 Massgrav - Det Här Är Stockholm 295 IRON LAMB - Backstabbers 296 The Hives - Tick Tick Boom 297 Candlemass - Dark Reflections 298 Megatomb - Forbidden Altar 299 Entrails - Condemned to the Grave 300 Katatonia - Gateways of Bereavement 301 Träd, Gräs och Stenar - Sanningens Silverflod (Djungelns Lag) 302 Hammerfall - Let the Hammer Fall 303 Obnoxious Youth - Mouths Sewn Shut 304 GRAND MAGUS - Wolf God 305 Dark Funeral - Unchain my soul 306 Entombed - Say it in slugs 307 Amon Amarth - Runes to My Memory 308 Ghost - Absolution 309 Hypocrisy  - Dominion 310 Edge of Sanity - Darkday 311 Orbit Culture - North Star of Nija 312 Cemetary - Caress the Damned 313 DOZER - Through The Eyes Of Heathens 314 Grave - Now and Forever 315 ARCH ENEMY - Bury Me An Angel 316 Skraeckoedlan - Universam 317 Cult of Luna - I remember 318 Doris  Svensson - Did You Give The World Some Love Today, Baby 319 Svard - A Rift in the Green 320 Evergrey - Monday Morning Apocalypse 321 Lightbringer - Lightbringer in Sweden 322 Bastard Priest - ghouls of the endless night 323 Westkust - Cotton Skies 324 Maggot Heart - sex breath 325 Abruptum - De Profundis Mors Vas Consumet 325 Raised Fist - Flow 326 Makthaverskan - Antabus 327 Eternal of Sweden - Heaven's gate 328 Wolfbrigade - Fire Untamed 329 Fyfan - Intrangd Och Instangd 330 Opeth - Svekets prins 331 Martyrdöd - Hexhammeren 332 The Haunted - Liquid Burns 333 Dismember - Override of the Overture 444 Bathory - Under the Runes 666 Dark tranquillity - A Bolt of Blazing Gold

Play the songs here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL-iHPcxymC1-HqTl9SJKkER2dKbR2NWkE

Next edition of Sweden playlist will have tracks from: God Macabre, Deutsch Nepal , Retaliation, In Slaughter Natives and 10,000 Years.

[marmosa]

hogwarts theatre program hc’s

i was chatting with a friend of mine and she brought of something about how Hogwarts had a drama department that collapsed because there was too much drama 😭😭 very much on brand tbh. but this hc list was born out of that conversation and i just very much AHHHH. also under the cut are some character related hc’s 😋🙈

***

run crew just moving things with their wands from the wings so their transitions are like ultra smooth

alternatively, because they’re using magic the transitions are worse...somehow??

“how did you manage to knock out an actor?” “IM SORRY SOMEONE WAS TALKING AND MY AIM WAS OFF”  

programs having enchanted photos, so each headshot also includes the shenanigans from before the photo was taken

professor mcgonagall having to okay the play because dumbledore is too nice and will literally let anything through

trying to convince mcgonagall to let them do a more raunchy show

“absolutely not”

“well professor dumbledore said it was a lovely idea!” 

“ALBUS”

mic checks would just be seeing who knows how to use the voice amplifying charm correctly or not

actors enchanting one another as pranks during rehearsals and professor flitwick nearly seizing from the stress

flitwick is the director, it has been decided 

an enchanted orchestra!!! so at the end of the play when the cast motions to the pit the instruments fly out and do their own little bows 😭

idk if hogwarts has an orchestra with actual students uhhh,,,, moving on

CLOSING NIGHT PARTY IN THE GRYFINDOR COMMON ROOM

non-theatre kids have to go hide in their dorms or escape elsewhere cause they don’t want to deal with it akdjksfb

someone hexing the makeup of a lead that they don’t like so their foundation turns green after they apply it

or their hair spray turns their hair a different color

idk just hexing the lead with a fat ego’s products because they’re a pain in the ass

the ghosts are brought in to critique the run throughs, this is sir nicholas’ favorite past time, he has a note pad and pen and everything  

“sir nicholas?”

“yes?”

“did you hear we’re doing romeo and juliet this year?”

“is that so? i knew shakespeare, bloody prick he was.”

sound techies having to hunt down the idiot who won’t un-charm their voice so their lines keep echoing through the department and it’s driving people crazy

props creators seizing because flitwick for some reason was like “we have magic MAKE THE PROPS MORE COMPLEX”

really and i mean REALLY elaborate sets because it’s a magic school why tf not

forget a wooden standie of a castle, mf’s built a whole castle out of bricks and enchanted it so it didn’t fall through and crack the stage

students all doing shitty american rendition’s of english accent when they do typically english productions for ✨ ambience ✨

tech week is hell

i mean bloody anarchy

dumbledore is nice enough to get them special catering

but extra snacks doesn’t calm the storm

flitwick is ruthless, he will tear a performance apart to make it better if he has to

“did you finish the last touches on the costumes?”

“no, i thought you did?”

[panicked screaming]

don’t even look at the stage manager, they’ll literally kill you

“you STILL haven’t memorized your big monologue@%^*#”

“it’s not my fault!! snape keeps assigning too much work!”

“serverus is going to get my foot up his ass if he doesn’t-”

“PROFESSOR”

asking hagrid for creatures that will be featured in plays

he usually always says yes just because he loves seeing his babies star in the productions

ron suddenly getting fifty “unrelated” owl requests for charlie’s contact info

“please ron we need the dragon”

“for what” 

“it’s confidential, just please-,”

“what for-?”

“JESUS RON JUST GIVE US THE DRAGON”

george is stage manager

fred is lights head

they were first put in there for detention but quickly realized they liked it 

it was also a lot easier to get away with wack shit

“fred would you stop messing with the lights?? we’re having a run thru”

“why don’t you come up here and do it urself then, genius????”

“hold my mf script”

“GEORGE NO”

harry keeps getting cast as token hot straight boy male lead tm

not necissarily that he is straight, just,,,,, the typecast

^^^ alternatively cedric

cedric is mr. heartthrob 

he’s the hot sports guy u don’t expect to audition

but does and gets in

and now every1 wants a piece of that

when he dies graduates the department is Devastated </3

ron keeps getting cast as token silly best friend who’s there 4 comic relief

hermoine keeps getting cast as token feminist girl tm

(no those aren’t just their book roles whaaaaat)

opening night is a Big Deal

idk why

it just IS

“i heard we get house points if more students from our house show up!”

“really?!”

“no.”

[infinite-hearts-333]

Broken pack, Broken wolf

Sander sides, Analogical (Eventually), Logan Angst, Werewolf AU

WARNING: really bad writing, angsty, lack of sleep and starvation, swearing I'll add to this

Before

Part 6- Let me mend you, dear.

Logan was bathing in warmth. It wasn't not normal, his pack normally snuggled up to each other at night, whether they be in human or wolf form. He let out a soft happy rumble as a hand carded through his hair with unbelievable gentleness. Empero? He rumbled, shifting closer. Are the others hunting? I thought I told you to wake me for hunting! When he didn't hear Empero's bark like laughter, he shifted more, now concerned and trying to open his eyes. Empero? Where are you?

"Shhh shh." Said a soothing male voice. "It's okay." The voice was nicely familiar, and he let a soft content growl. Who.... He mumbled. "It's okay Lo, I've got you." Everything clicked together. He was dead. That was Virgil. Logan softly whimpered, tucking closer to the other. "Shhh shhh it's okay, you're okay. I'm here." His body felt so, so, so heavy, his eyelids weighed down from lack of sleep. Normally, he would just wake up, like any other morning, but the difference this morning was that he was with someone. Werewolves can not sleep without another with them. So now that Logan was cuddling someone, his brain would make him sleep for as long as possible.

Virgil shifted him, patches of warmth pressing against his lower back and head, gently, carefully moving him and then,- Logan was dropped back into a world of bliss he nearly started crying. Warmth swallowed his whole form, pressing against his chest and warmth moved in hypnotising patterns down his back. "Oh shit- hey, hey hey hey hey! It's okay, it's okay, don't cry!" Virgil said in a slight panicked voice. Something moved from his back and gently brushed against his cheek, wiping away the tears. "Was that too much? Im so, so, so sorry! Do you want me to move you?"

"N-no!" Logan croaked out, his voice cracking. In his weak state he managed to tighten his grip, forcing his eyes to barely open, taking in the sight of a burry virgil. "P-please... stay.. J-just not use t-to it.." he choked out. Virgil didn't say anything, most likely nodding, since he was slightly shifted once more, before the both of them settled down and stilled. Logan guessed he was laying on top of Virgil, since he was rising and falling with Virgil's breathing. "T-t-thank you...." Logan mumbled. "I-i've been so l-lonely.... S-so tired.... C-can't sleep... w-without.."

"Shhhhhh, shhh it's okay Lo, i'm here now. I'm going to help you. I swear." Virgil said in a soft gentle voice carding a hand through Logan's hair and stroking the other's ears. Logan softly whimpered. "S-s-so tired......" Logan wheezed out. "Then rest, i'm not going anywhere. I'll summon us some food and I'll send Princy and Dad a text, m'kay?" "B-but my w-work-" Virgil made a snorting sound. "But your work nothing, you are resting, full stop. You can't even open your eyes, let alone stand!"

Logan softly huffed, but said nothing curling in closely. Virgil smirked, proud that he won the argument. Logan's ears perked as he picked up a clicking noise from above him. "It's okay." Virgil said softly. "I'm just texting Pat and princy." Logan sluggishly nodded, and let his eyes slip shut and finally, for the first time in three years, Logan fell asleep without a problem.

Virgil stayed by Logan's side, lightly rubbing the others back as he used one hand to messily text the others.

😈EMO BOI😈: yo guys

🐶Pop-Star🐶: Hiya kiddo!

🌟Sir-Sing-a-lot🌟: yes Shirley temple?

😈EMO BOI😈: Specs isn't feeling great. I'm gonna stay with him till he's better k?

🌟Sir-Sing-a-lot🌟: oh~ are you sure that's the only thing dark and stormy knight~? I've seen the faces you make at our nerd~!

🐶Pop-Star🐶:oh no! 😢😢 Should I make him some soup??? 😁

😈EMO BOI😈: Back off princy!!

😈EMO BOI😈: and yer pat that would be great

🐶Pop-Star🐶: Okie dokey!!!

Virgil softly sighed, placing his phone back down and went back cuddling Logan. Logan rumbled happily and Virgil smiled, pressing a small kiss to Logan forehead out of pure impulse, and then blushed furiously and pretended it never happened, laying down properly, cuddling and playing with Logan's ears lovingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Sorry I haven't been posting lately, life's been ruff, and exams and all that ish. Also, sorry it isn't as long as normal, nor as good as I can do so Yer.... sorry.~

Next

[and-the-world-is-quiet-here]

Live 2020 debate commentary from a salty, disabled, and VERY pissed gen Z

 Yall he just said he’s immune

My dad just left the room

Bitch are u saying Johnson and Johnson is going to make the vaccine?

sir that’s the diaper company…..smh

Biden just said its going to be a dark winter

#winter is coming

“virus.....that came from china” -trump 2020

“were learning to live with it”-trump 2020

apparently “Biden lives in his basement”-your president 2020

totally accurate.....obviously

ohhhh biden just said were learning to die with it

trump interrupted biden

Mam I thought you said you were muting them?

biden laugh count at 3

he all about the once percent till its the dead ones

trump interrupting at 3...nvm its now 4

this debate is making my dog sad

interrupting now at 5 for trump

trump saying his young sons illness just “went away”

bitch he’s may age and no it did not just “go away”

he was in quarantine for two weeks

apparently nyc is a ghost town 

its not a ghost town trump I live right next to it

loudest neighbors ever

trump don’t call him Anthony

his name is DOCTOR Fauci

treat him with the respect he deserves

Biden looks so sad

nvm he legit looks like the joker right now

HALFWAY MARKKK

why is this at 9?

sir its a school night

I need time to scroll through my feed for hours before collapsing

Biden don’t use the word sovereignty

trump doesn't know what it means

thats discrimination against trumps

ohhh hes attacking hunter (biden) again

so he has a wee drug problem?

at this point everyone got one!

your the one making lewd comments about your infant daughter on national tv

(look it up he talks about his 6 month old daughters legs but and breasts)

get him big b!!

h876689908776- my dog 2020

he wants to express his disappointment

the light boxs is stealing his mother attention

ohh hes being rude to the moderator again

u a strong independent Indian woman get him girll!

mute his mike

prty plz

I am dissapionted in you

he’s saying he’s not allowed to release his taxs

(that is a proven lie)

“i was put through a phony witch hunt”- you'll never guess 2020

hes going after his BROTHER now

how is this allowed?

who decided trumps strategy would be to accuse his opponent of his own crimes?

look at the insults guys its a crystal ball

stay ahead of the scandal's

WILL YOU LEAVE HIS SON ALONE PLEASE

THESE ARE HIS CHILDREN LEAVE THEM ALONE

“i was a business man doing business”-trump 2020

no sir you were another rich white guy taking advantage of tax brakes and cheap foreign labor in asia

#american jobs as long as i don’t have to pay minimum wage

#you know like a DECENT FUCKING PERSON

Trump interrupted again

I lost count a while ago

Biden is staring into my soul

oh Biden just played the middle class childhood card

I haven't heard a single mute so far?

trump just said his bromance with kim jung un saved america from nuclear war

dont through my boy Obama under the bus

and another interruption

my big bro just screamed “MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON MUTE BUTTON”

honestly same

10 more min guys

hang in there

OHHH trump just got MUTEDDDDDD

Biden is now on legitimate policy 

ahhh hes proud of his plan

annd trump just interrupted

trump just kissed up to the moderator

trump just said biden’s more liberal than bernie

ohhh

biden just said trump dosent know who hes running against

hes like “this is joe biden”

like I know bro but slick burn anyway

ohhh they muted trump again!!!!

perfect opportunity to mute missed

trump just blamed healthcare issues on nancy peloski

biden says the the republicans wont pass it

(btw hes actualy right)

2 mins left

and trump is speaking through it

1 min left

omg what a waste of air

I really want him to test his “immunity”

preferably during a harsh winter

ITS TEN GUYSSS

there running over

they still haven't covered immigration

shit

I have just learned there is 30 min left

I think I would rather kill myself than watch the rest of this

I’m seriously have a sensory overload right now

I’m doing this for u

“children are brought here by coyotes”-presedentail cown 2020

what a wack ass sentence

hes like ohIi haven't been putting kids in cages

and then just went but I didn't build them they were built in 2014

(contradiction much)

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

“who built the cages”

yes it was Obama but guess what

THEY WERNT BUILT FOR KIDS

there ment to house animals, evidence, and adult prisoners in emergency situations

THEY WERNT MENT FOR 3 YEAR OLDS

Biden was just like “well no actually kids come with PARENTS”

(kids hardly ever come over with out parents)

and then he was like and also WHO LOST TRACK OF OVER 1,000 PARENTS

(thats 500+ new orphans at the least)

hes saying only the illegal immigrants with the lowest IQs come back after being deported

we said the same thing in december about you but ya’know

my mum was like “anyone eating chocolate” and I was like “im snaking on this ignorance” and she was like “dont do that you'll get indigestion”

“no one has done more for the black community then Donald trump except for maybe Abraham Lincoln”

oh yeah Biden just brought up how trump publicly campaigned for the execution of the central park 5

WHO WERE CHILDREN

AND OH YEAH THEY WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT

trump just yelled at Biden, got muted, and just yelled louder

trump just said he cant see the audience but hes the least racist person in the room

“Abraham lincoln here is one of the most racist presidents in american history”- biden 2020

biden just went “oh god”

he just said that he used to not support the blm movement because they chanted rude things about police officers

I would like to reiterate that “pigs in a blanket” has never been chanted in a protest or been a prominent statement in the blm movement nor “fry em like bacon” so what trump is saying is factually incorrect

unless hes on some sort of far right conservative twitter feed were he came across a video of some drunk white college kids chanting it 

but you know what ever fits you narrative

plus I would be pretty pissed if I kept getting shot at for no reason so....

Biden making more logical decisions

trump was like why have you never done all this stuff when you were vice president

“we had a republican congress” -biden 2020

we have the cleanest air

we have the cleanest crystal clear water

sir, i know you've been to mexico

don’t lie

the waters gorges down there

and not owned by your smug ass

trump just called china filthy

so you know....

*whispers* racism

ok 5 min left

for real this time

trump just went “aoc plus 3: and then hes like she knows nothing about the climate

ummm.... you dont even believe in climate change

bidens like “are....is...is is”

good for you

correcting your grammar

trump just said “the wind kills all the birds” out of the godamn blue

(he means wind mills and its untrue)

“Whats the next question baba”

“the final question is leadership which he doesnt have”- baba 2020

I feel bad for anybody watching this on the toilet

bidens starring into your soul

he knows what your doing

there officially overtime

its 10 33

they haven't even done the last section yet

btw ITS A SCHOOL NIGHT

why do they host these so late

I should be pretending to be asleep right now

this is generational discrimination

plus trumps supporters are so old there asleep by now

ohhhh its over

1036 final time

okay so thoughts....I generally dont like the party system i think its ridiculous the system was not designed for it, and its now more about loyalty then the actual candidates. I also am really hesitant to put another strait white male in the oval office, especially one thats from “the lucky few” I.E. the smallest voting generation in the country and also the one that already holds the most positions. That being said, at this point its really anyone but trump and I think bidens got the experience to turn things around. 

I AM IN SCHOOL I CANNOT VOTE. I am relying on all my older friends, followers, neighbors, and community members. To make an educated decision that wont further degrade the once hopeful future my generation awaits. Please if you can vote VOTE the kids are relying on you!

P.S. sorry i wasn't able to edit this earlier i struggle alot with spelling and didnt have the time to edit this because I HAD TO GO TO BED AND THEN GO TO SCHOOL. Why am I more politically active then people twice my age you might ask? Well, thats because adults are lazy and need to get of their gd asses and VOTE. So kids dont have to do the legwork for them. 

I have said my peace now, have a wonderful day!

[lovedholic]

folklore sentence starters

under the cut are #100+ sentence starters from taylor swift’s newest album folklore. some of the lyrics have been tweaked to fit rp purposes, but feel free to change anything to your liking !! i hope you like these as much as i did  ♡

the 1

i'm doing good, i'm on some new shit .

i thought i saw you at the bus stop, i didn't though .

you know, the greatest films of all time were never made .

well, i guess you never know .

if you wanted me, you really should've showed it .

it's alright now .

but we were something, don't you think so ?

i had this dream that you were doing some cool shit .

you know, the greatest loves of all time are over now .

if one thing had been different, would everything be different today?

you would've been the one .

cardigan

when you are young, they assume you know nothing .

but, i knew you? .

baby, kiss it better .

you said i was your favorite ! 

a friend to all is a friend to none .

i felt like i was an old cardigan .

to kiss in cars and downtown bars was all we needed .

you drew stars around my scars .

i tried to change the ending, but . . .

i knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs .

i knew i'd curse you for the longest time .

i knew you'd come back to me .

the last great american dynasty

how did a middle-class divorcée do it ?

the wedding was charming, if a little gauche in my opinion .

ah, there's only so far new money goes .

their parties were tasteful, if a little loud .

she stole his dog and dyed it key lime green !

fifty years is a long time, you know   .

i had a marvelous time ruining everything .

exile

im holdin' all this love out here in the hall .

i think i've seen this film before, and i didn't like the ending .

you're not my homeland anymore .

so what am i defending now ?

i can see you starin', honey .

second, third, and hundredth chances . how many more do you want ?

i'm not your problem anymore !

there is no amount of crying i can do for you .

we always walked a very thin line .

you didn't even hear me out .

you never gave a warning sign .

i gave so many signs .

i never learned to read your mind .

you never turned things around .

my tears ricochet

and if i'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too .

even on my worst day, did i deserve all the hell you gave me ?

i loved you, i swear i loved you .

i didn't have it in myself to go with grace .

i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake ?

you know i didn't want to have to haunt you .

you used to tell me i was brave .

i can go anywhere i want, just not home .

you would still miss me in your bones .

i still talk to you when i'm screaming at the sky .

you turned into your worst fears .

you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain you have inside you .

mirrorball

i'll show you every version of yourself tonight .

i know they said the end is near . . .

i can change everything about me to fit in .

you are not like the regulars .

i'm still a believer, but i don't know why .

i'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me .

seven

please, picture me in the trees .

i was too scared to jump in .

are there still beautiful things ?

sorry, i can’t recall your face .

i love you to the moon and to saturn .

i've been meaning to tell you this, i think your house is haunted .

your dad is always mad, though ?

i think you should come live with me .

we can be pirates !

august

i never needed anything more .

are you sure ?

will you call when you're back at school ?

i remember thinking i had you .

it was never mine .

i can see us twisted in bedsheets .

back when we were still changing for the better . . .

for me, it was enough .

i canceled all of my plans just in case you'd call .

meet me behind the mall .

so much for summer love and saying "us"  .

you weren't mine to lose .

get in the car !

this is me trying

i've been having a hard time adjusting .

i didn't know if you'd care if i came back .

i have a lot of regrets about that .

i'm here in your doorway, where are you ?

i just wanted you to know that this is me trying .

fell behind all my classmates and i ended up here .

i’m pouring out my heart to a stranger .

it's hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you .

illicit affairs

make sure nobody sees you leave .

tell yourself you can always stop .

well , that's the thing about illicit affairs .

don't call me baby .

look at this godforsaken mess that you made me !

you showed me colors you know i can't see with anyone else .

look at this idiotic fool that you made me !

you taught me a secret language i can't speak with anyone else .

and you know damn well that for you, i would ruin myself .

invisible string

i used to think i would meet somebody there .

were there clues i didn't see ?

she said i looked like an american singer, how absurd was that ?

one single thread of gold tied me to you .

now i send their babies presents !

mad woman

what did you think i'd say to that ?

what do you sing on your drive home ?

fuck you forever !

what about that ?

there's nothing like a mad woman .

what a shame she went mad .

you made her like that .

and women like hunting witches too .

it's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together .

i'm taking my time .

you took everything from me .

epiphany

sir, i think he's bleeding out !

there are some things you just can't speak about .

with you, i fall down .

this is something med school did not cover .

doc, i think she's crashing out !

you only have twenty minutes to sleep .

try to make some sense of what you've seen .

dream of some epiphany, okay ?

betty

i won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom but i think it's 'cause of me .

one time i was riding on my skateboard . . .

when i passed your house it's like i couldn't breathe .

have you heard the rumors from inez ?

this time it was true !

the worst thing that i ever did was what i did to you .

if i just showed up at your party, would you have me ?

would you tell me to go fuck myself ?

what if i told you it was just a summer thing ?

i know i miss you .

i know where it all went wrong .

i hate the crowds, you know that .

plus, i saw you dance with him .

get in, let's drive .

i dreamt of you all summer long .

i planned it out for weeks .

right now is the last time i can dream about what happens .

the only thing i wanna do is make it up to you .

peace

suddenly, it's clear .

i never had the courage .

as long as danger is near .

and it's just around the corner, darling .

all these people think love's for show .

i would die for you in secret .

the devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me .

would it be enough if i could never give you peace ?

it's like i'm wasting your honor .

is it enough ?

i'd give you my sunshine, my best, anything .

but the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me .

hoax

this has broken me down .

give me a reason .

your faithless love's the only hoax i believe in .

don't want no other shade of blue but you .

no other sadness in the world would do .

you know i left a part of me back in new york .

you knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart .

you knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score ?

what you did was just as dark .