#single blended rum

[maltrunners]

Transcontinental Rum Line Barbados 6 (2015) La Maison & Velier

Review by: Raygun A quick note before anything else for the sake of transparency. This review was done with an industry sample provided free of charge, with no expectations beyond drinking them. As always, I do my best to provide my unbiased opinion, and readers can decide how they want to take this review. For more information, see our Ethics & Transparency statement. The Transcontinental Rum…

[lady-lauren]

❥ SHANKS X FEM!READER

❥ WORD COUNT: 2.3k

❥ WARNINGS/TAGS: forced orgasms, some yandere vibes, dub-con to be safe, very inappropriate use of conqueror's haki, power dynamics (captain/crew), praise, creampie, Shanks is so mean but so good and I would die for him

→ Kinktober Masterlist ←

“You’re gonna cum for me, darlin’, even if I have to take it from you.”

The weight of his words curl around your throat like a vice, blood pumping in your ears you until can barely hear his boisterous laugh. 

The smile he gives is so cheshire, so oddly genuine, it makes a shiver of fear run down the back of your neck. Perhaps it’s actually pleasure, but the emotions are too entangled for your brain to piece apart your state of mind. 

He’s not letting you go this time, not until he gets what he wants. 

“Shanks,” you plead, nails gripping into the black fabric of his cloak, “we shouldn’t, you’re my captain, and I—”

“And your captain knows what’s best for you. Promise.”

The playful lilt in his voice is disarming. 

He always lures you in so easily, and usually you can squirm away, calm your raging heart and pretend like you’re not the object of his desires. Because you shouldn’t be, you can’t be, you’re honor bound to serve him as your captain and you refuse to let lust cloud your relationship to Shanks. He helped make you a pirate. You’re more than a mistress.

Yet he’s already stripped you bare for him tonight, easy work for one of the most powerful men on the seas.

Warm lips press into your cheek as you turn your face from him, gritting your teeth as you deny his kiss.

Shanks chuckles in the face of your defiance, squishing his fingers into your cheeks to make you look at him. 

“You know, you really are cute, thinking you can stop me. Besides, don’t you want to follow Captain’s orders, hm? That’s why I picked you—you’re so loyal, always willing to please. But you should please and be pleased.”

His eyes close with a sincere smile, the pink scars nearly shining in the firelight of his room.

Perhaps you do forget sometimes how weak you are compared to him, to the man who can cut down enemies with a single gaze. 

Trapped between his colossal body and the wall, you have nowhere to run, no way to slink off and keep only ghosts of his touches. He’s going to make you feel every moment.

“Want me to show you how good I can make you feel?” 

“Trust me, I know, I know how good you’d feel, but I can’t—”

“You have no idea.”

Somehow he feels closer, as if the sun-kissed skin of his chest from his parted shirt is already blending into yours. He is darkness clouding over you, engulfing you.

He cups your chin with his hand, big fingers spilling down onto your neck. He slants his mouth over yours before you can protest, moving plush lips until you can’t help but moan. Spiced rum, aged and smooth, greets you when his tongue slides between parted lips. He kisses like a dance, like a back and forth that he leads.

“Breathe,” he whispers, and you don’t have to ask why. You sense his conqueror’s haki in the air before you feel the power lick at your skin, dragging and pulling and hot. 

“Cum for me.”

Lightning quick, your tummy tightens, the pleasure centers of your brain on overload as he overtakes you. Desire boils down to your cunt like a poisonous liquid heat, unbearable, sinful, yet so, so blissful as your pussy flutters and you fall over the crest of orgasm. 

“Fuck! Oh, fuck you, fuck, fuck…” Your eyes squeeze closed as the ecstasy is literally ripped from your body, like he somehow sunk his hand inside your core and extracted all the delight he craves. 

“Doesn’t that feel good?”

You can’t help but nod, because yes, it does, as if pleasure is bursting like supernovas underneath your skin. Your hands are clinging to him, one around the back of his neck, the other beneath his shirt, like you can’t help but be closer to the source of your heat.

“Shanks, I…” your tongue is so thick in your mouth, searching for words you can’t think of.

“Now imagine just how fucking good you’ll feel when you do that on my cock.” 

“Please, oh, god, please.”

His famous laugh greets your ears and you’re almost knocked back to the reality of who has you in his grasp. 

“That’s my girl.” 

You’re in his bed before you know it, eyes glassy at the sight of his naked body. You knew he’d be beautiful, but the actual view of him, on his knees, pumping his cock in his hand while between your legs has you whining.

“What’s going on in your pretty little head? Tell me.” 

“I…want you, so badly, and I-I’m sorry for pushing you away. I never—”

He shushes you, takes his hand from his cock so he can brush the back of his finger across your cheek, “You were just doing what you thought was right. Didn’t wanna just be my plaything, did you? I know you wanted to be my strong little pirate, but you can be both.” 

“Promise?” 

“Swear it.” He grins like a little boy as he mockingly draws an X across his heart with his finger. 

How can someone so deadly be so adorable?

Your instincts are flaring again, telling you to run, that once he sinks his claws into you, you’ll only ever be his. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Maybe that doesn’t sound so bad, especially not with how good it feels when he buries his hand between your thighs, fingers playing in your wetness. 

Shanks is equal parts messy and methodical, swirling his fingers around in your slick folds before rubbing his thumb over your already sensitive clit. You cry out, back arching and nails digging so deeply in his pillows you swear you hear fabric rip.

“Think I made you wet enough to take my cock already, don’t you?” 

To prove his point, he slides his slick-drenched fingers between your lips, letting you taste yourself. You nod your affirmation as you suck against his skin, his eyes shining as you wrap your tongue around his fingers.

You eye his cock between his legs, preening at the thought of having him inside you. His cock is pretty, fat, already leaking and veins straining beneath silken skin. Red curls crawl up his toned stomach and you nearly drool around his fingers. 

All you ever wanted was to be a pirate, but the sight of your captain’s cock has you content to be a whore.

“Been dreamin’ about you in my sheets ever since I found you, darlin’. Knew you were the one for me, my perfect girl.”

“Oh please,” you gasp as he draws his fingers from your mouth, dragging them down to your tit so he can pinch your nipple, “you know what praise does to me, Shanks.”

“Of course I do,” he sing-songs, grasping his dick and pushing his tip between your folds. He presses in, a cant of his hips shoving his cock halfway into your dripping hole. Your head falls back at the stretch, cooing at the feel of him. 

Shanks is clearly done chasing you, mindset moved to capture, to take. He bottoms out and immediately starts moving, grinning as he watches your pussy lips drag along his length. 

He wolf-whistles at the sight, making you flush with a strange mixture of embarrassment and pride. “Look at that pretty fucking pussy. So slutty already for me.”

Strong fingers push your thigh back, spreading you wide as he starts his pace. 

“Now,” Shanks clicks his tongue against his teeth, “let’s see what it feels like when I make you cum around my cock.” 

“You don’t, ah,” you gasp as his cockhead prods against a soft spot, “h-have to make me, I’ll—” 

“Shh, I’ll take care of you, baby. Let me make you feel good, yeah?” 

There’s no time to think, not with how fast he acts, a simple look into your eyes has you shattering until you scream. The pleasure claws from your depths all over again, more intense now that your cunt has his fat cock to convulse around. You suck him in deep as you fall, bliss blooming over every nerve ending. Your toes curl, your nails cut into his shoulders, your stomach nearly hurts from the twisting of your orgasm. 

“God damn, you feel so fucking good when you do that, get so tight around me.” 

“Sh-Sha—mhm, fuck,” you try to protest, to say something, but the way his body moves into yours is like the mesmeric waves, lulling you into a headspace of drifting euphoria. 

He’s all over you—hand in your hair, tongue sliding down your neck, lips sucking at the fat of your tits, teeth scraping along your curves. He’s all encompassing, snaking his arm behind your back until you're pressed against his thick chest and rocking with every thrust.

The orgasms have made you numb, all you feel is pure carnality, like now you just exist to fuck and be fucked.

For a moment you wonder if he’s still forcing it on you, but you decide you don’t care. He’s the only one who can make you feel like this, haki or no.

Shanks brushes his nose down your cheek, lips hot and wet as he kisses your skin, “Touch me, baby, be with me.” 

Like puppetry, your hands trace his musculature, taking note of how his shoulders roll with every push and how his abdominal muscles stiffen whenever your cunt spasms from pleasure.

You kiss over the freckles on his shoulder, down to the thick bicep he no longer wraps in bandages. 

He groans as your lips get close to where his arm used to be, a purr from deep in his chest like you’re too close to something vulnerable.

“Gonna take from you again, darlin.’ Gotta feel your cunt suck me dry.” 

“N-no I can—I can do it, I can cum for you, promise.” 

“Mhm, where’s the fun in that when I can just make you?”

His hand snakes around your body, letting you sink into the bed free of his hold. He teases your clit just because he can, because he likes watching you wiggle and writhe and whine beneath him.

You suck in a sob, “Please, just a little more, more, and I—”

Shanks’ haki feels like the warm licks of familiar fire. He burns because you let him too close, stared too long at the flames. 

You’re sure he purposely brings the assault of his conqueror's power on slower, lets it bleed and blend with the ecstasy building from the sensitive pressure on your clit. 

This crest is bigger, fuller, like you’ve been thrown from the Red Force into the toiling dark ocean. Only it’s boiling, scorching and tugging the pleasure from deep within your belly. 

“Oh god,” you throw your head back and whine, “too hot.” 

Shanks groans deep from his chest, fingers pausing on your clit as he feels you cum around him. His thighs shake, cock twitching and throbbing. Mean fingers dig into the softness of your belly like he’s clinging to sanity, holding himself back just enough to be in control. 

“One more, baby.”

He starts thrusting again, a slow grind into your depths that has red curls kneading into your clit. You feel him in your guts, your heart, like the beat of blood in your veins. 

“C-can’t, god, can’t, please.” Please no. Please yes. You’re back in an entanglement of emotions where no way is up, the sun still so far from underneath the waves.

Shanks buries his face in your neck, red hair fanning like embers across overheated skin. 

He sucks at your pulse, flesh between his lips, “yes you can, my good girl. For me.” 

You’re slammed into a new atmosphere, floating for seconds before being dragged back down, down to where you feel details of your name whispered against your throat and the pulsing of a thick cock as ropes of cum spill into tight, gummy walls. 

“Fuuuucckk, oh g-god, Shanks, hurts, so good, shit—”

You babble until your mouth runs dry, anchored by your captain’s bruising grasp on your hip. He has you flush against his body, heavy breaths syncing as you both float up from hell.

It’s like waking up from a dream when he starts kissing you, all feather-light and reverent. He sits up and his lopsided smile seems so sincere. 

“So proud of you, really thought you were gonna pass out there for a second.” He laughs playfully, blowing a stray red hair from his face. 

All you do is whine and shift your sore hips, gasping at the feel of his cock still hard and deep inside you. 

You’re not sure how much time passes before he pops his dick out—your heart beats are too erratic to count as seconds. 

He sinks praises into your skin, kissing down your breasts, your belly, making you jerk when he kisses the mound of your pussy. 

His breath is hot on your clit. That feeling has your mind shattering like porcelain, a sharp smack centering you straight back into reality. You sit up and stare at the scene before you, sharp-eyed prey watching a predator in the forest. 

“Shanks, no, please, for the love of god—” 

“No no no no, it’s okay,” he coos from between your legs, eyes closing and head cocking to the side as he smiles, “I’m not gonna take this one from you. Promise. Gonna let you do it all by yourself, nice and slow.” 

It’s easy to forget that Shanks is a bad liar when he shoves his pretty face down to eat his cum from your pussy. 

[moineauz]

જ⁀ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐎𝐍 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄

synopsis: you are a travelling artist, transversing the galaxy. Thus, on your curt trip to penacony, you see a man and paint him.

including: aventurine

side comments: my rawest writing piece yet. the piece is meant to be up for interpretation and i wanted to take a more vague standpoint. this is not necessarily an x reader fic, please keep that in mind. thank you @/stellaronhvnters members for giving me tips. sending you all lots of love!

extra: angst, gn reader, boothill makes a short appearance, subtle 2.1 spoilers words count: roughly 963

You saw him on three occasions.

The first was under the incessant flash of Penacony's lights, the ubiquitous glint of inordinate advertisements trailed behind you like children. He stood amongst the dreamers with fashion and flare: the subtle sway of his right earing was charmed you. While his shoes reflected opulence and splendour. The number pressed onto his neck- similarly pressed against the folds of your mind: the place in which the eyes stare onto the shore and cast spells of what if’s.

Yet, despite the nature of his novelties and the soulful satire of his smile, you paused- traffic and light bending into sound.

What was he? You pondered. Perhaps he is perched in towers and rolls dice like candy; pecking it afterwards. Perhaps he sharpens his shoes as he does with his eyes. Perhaps he stands still in showers of salty rain, drying his cheeks with the rim of his velvet hat.

Was he a dreamer too? You would of blinked in affirmation, griped your breath a touch tighter and trace his footsteps. Lifting it on to the palm of your hand, tucked it into the haven of your pocket, cradling it like an infant, raising it like a lush fern. A portable paradise euphonious and maternal.

From there you shifted your weight onto your good side and tapped your feet to the beat of your heart, matching it to the song of his hushed ingenious breath.

He was here before, you noted. Clearly, not for leisure nor for pleasure. His strides were candid, curt, and clever. Yet, from afar, it was as if the tip of his shoes was his only connection between ground and sky. His steps bounced, rebounding off by sheer force alone; leaping mid-air, leaping with vigour and intention, leaping over wide yawning chasms.

He was galloping towards, not bothering to gaze back. His image blended into one of a horse standing amidst fields teeming with immeasurable and verdant grassland. The horse and their lush nature, a loneliness that can't be contended with as they lowered their gaze like swans. Their mane brushed against skin; preparing to consume the earth generously all on their own- unaccompanied by instruction, coddling or order.

You pause and step back from the slender and poised length of his legs, from the cage of his chest in which gold is born and coiled, from the rings of his eyes that pirouette and roulette. Hence, pondering curiously what kind of bone does not break despite its beatings.

The second time you saw him was when the sharp pungency of grapefruit- twirled with the salt which lined the rim of your glass- produced a sweet taste on the stage of your tongue. At the time the drink was fresh, garnished and plainly odd considering the dim, velvet aura which vibrated through the bar. The taste lingered in your mouth: reminiscent of a sultry summer afternoon.

His hair, you then realized, was scintillating in the gleam of bottles and booze. You wavered a bit, eyes blurry, hot and wet like the sea. He twirled and tuned with the light, the brand of his watch blurring with another sip of rum.

You don't recall any music, however, in that liminal moment between one song and the next, between one sip and a single swallow, your mouth split open in a wide glowing grin.

One foot over the other- glass in hand- serenading in dim light, crash after crash, bass strung with tangible words- it echoed deep and slow.

From there he stares forward, kissing the rim of his glass, dissipating with light as he seems to do. For a split second, he is vulnerable in the state of lassitude.

However, not before unfurling, smiling then melting. He was flying close to the sun; grazing his hands over its rims. Bright young man, you noted.

You pause and step back from his supple lips- insoluble when met with torrents, solid when left to eternity, liquid when set alive, gone when used up.

The third and final time was when his back faced you: his body resting, arms sprawled out in surrender, a single finger twitching. The memory is slipping. Like grains of sand trailing down your hand, like silk that won't hold a knot, like how rest is destined for those who truly slumber. Everecent in nature and poise. There, you wonder soundly, what stars have been bruised onto his back, and if you'd be able to draw them together- into one grand constellation that spans from one end of the world into another infinite void of true rapture.

"What a painting- or pain really."

"For someone who can't physically feel pain, your remark is rather funny," you quip back smoothly, your gaze still set towards the man's slackened joints and inner tenderness.

"You've been sitin' here for hours," bantered Boothill, "Four months really... since we left Penacony!"

You gingerly place the paintbrush down, pausing as you gradually step back from the lifesize portrait. A streak of yellow and purple paint stains your right cheek. "Today I am done."

Boothill raises an eyebrow as he watches you lift the painting onto a mantel: unhurried as a tree. Boothill watched you, morph the image of a stranger into blinding brilliance with each fastidious detail. How your subject- him- echoed volumes, his back against the world, facing tomorrow, embracing the amorous fold of limelight before departing, walking away into nothing with a princely smile and a single wave of his hand.

"Why do you paint him?" Boothill questions, his voice oddly dim and mellow, "You know nothin' about him."

Repose is found on your face as to your reply.

Boothill emits a frustrated sigh and reaches into his pockets; retrieving a lighter, you promptly flick it alive. The flame staring at you; wavering and swaying left then right. Your eyes are subtly idyllic and lulled as if drifting soundly in prayer; relishing the final wave of maudlin and soothing nuance.

"That's why I like him."

You set the portrait aflame.

"Because I know nothing about him."

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[soobadnoonecanstopher]

Rat Bastard, Part 3

Pairing: You x Kyungsoo

Rating: M (Mature)

Word Count: 7300

Warnings: There were too many beds, Enemies to Lovers, lol slow burn, ust

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

The delicious food in your belly, regardless of who cooked it, had turned you into a completely different person.

Suddenly the storm raging outside wasn’t the worst thing that had ever happened to you. You were alive, right? You were safe and you weren’t being eaten alive by man-eating spiders. Sure, you weren’t sitting on a beach enjoying a pina colada, but there was a tall, handsome man in this bunker kitchen with a blender, whipping up some mixed drinks that involved fresh fruit, something sweet and something sour, something red and orange, lots of ice, and even more rum. Javier looked up from his blender and sent you the smallest, secret and obviously flirtatious wink.

What? You gasped.

You had been staring, a bit lost in your own mind as whatever blood that had been in your brain was otherwise occupied with digesting your dinner, and you have to admit, you hadn’t at all expected it.

You’d been watching him work some magic with a…thing, a smashing thing, something involving the peels from the citrus he had been squeezing. Your cocktail lexicon was lacking. You hadn’t at all expected the wink and it felt so quick and sneaky that you felt a warmth creep up your cheeks that you covered with both of your hands as you looked away from him, glancing around yourself for witnesses. This wasn’t allowed, right? Was this kind of behavior typical for the Sinking Sands Resort?

A single pair of large, dark brown eyes watched you and those eyelids blinked slowly without the owner actually saying or doing anything. There wasn’t a scoff or an eye roll. He just watched you. He just knew it happened.

You could not name this feeling that filled up your stomach.

He had seen the wink. Maybe it was shame. It was uncomfortable. He had witnessed a man paying attention to you. That was not the issue, but he had seen your blushing reaction to the wink. He witnessed you caving so easily, a little attention from a man, from any man, and you were a melting, blushing mess. What must he think? That you weren’t the strong independent woman that the year 2024 demanded of you? That you were probably the type to sign away your checking and savings accounts to the first man could make you orgasm on the first try? That if someone saw you, but really, really saw you for who you were, deep down inside where your secret fantasies played, you might just cry about it in the shower in between all the fake arguments that you would have won if you only said that back then.

What was it called? The horrors of being known. And by Doh Kyungsoo of all people. The last thing you needed was that man knowing how desperate you felt for any bit of human affection. Your fingertips still ached from where you’d lightly touched the backs of his hands and drifted up his smooth forearms, sinking your fingertips into the firm muscles you felt there, as you used, probably the only chance you’d ever have to really stare at his lips while he was blindfolded.

What if he used it against you?

The blender whirled to life and soon Javier was serving up an icy blended cocktail, complete with a sweet cherry on top and a paper umbrella. He placed the whole pretty concoction in front of you with a friendly smile and you waited until his hands were free and clear of the entire drink before you reached for it, feeling quite silly for going out of your way to avoid touching his hands. While he was conventionally handsome, you had some reservations about openly flirting with the man who was technically at work. What if he got in trouble for being too friendly with the Shifting Sands guests.

The drink was delicious and very heavy on the alcohol. Javier was not the one paying for those fancy liquor bottles.

“How’s that?” Javier asked while wiping the counter top and wiggling his eyebrows up on his handsome face.

You bit your lip and nodded once, just one up and down. Tilting your head to the side, you tucked your hair behind your ear so anyone who might want to could get a good look at the smooth perfection of your neck. The top you wore was pretty low cut and while it gave the illusion of casual wear, it actually took an incredible amount of self awareness to keep it positioned in the most flattering place on your neckline. You then smiled your softest, sweetest smile, letting him know that it was just to your liking with a very dainty sip of the drink. You were aiming for cute. You sipped with too much conviction and the sip backfired. You felt the burn of the strong alcohol hit the back of your throat and instantly that burning made you want to cough. Ohhh, it burned.

There was no way to cough in a ladylike way. You held your breath instead and you could feel your eyes watering from the effort.

“I’ll make you something Mr. Doh. Are you a sweet, strong, or bitter kind of man?”

If ever a man was bitter…

“I’ll have the same thing,” Kyungsoo said with a shrug. You didn’t dare look in his direction for fear that he was observing you too closely again. Gathering dirt, most likely. You could make out his relaxed posture out of your peripheral vision. Elbow on the counter, his other arm draped across his thigh.

That arm moved though, and you caught a motion of him tucking his hair behind his ear; his hair that wasn’t even long enough to tuck, his hair that fell, black and straight just below his eyebrow and yet he pretended to tuck it and he then adopted a similar come hither posture with his shoulders sagged, his head tilted to the side and oh god. He was mocking you now. You were looking at him as he did it and his teasing eyes drifted to yours once, sending you the fakest, and most dramatic wink you’d ever received from anyone.

You’d stab him in the night time.

“Let’s see if I can make it without squeezing lemon in my eye again,” Javier giggled and lifted his index finger to rub over his eyelid — the winking eye —the fucking flirtatious winking eye that sent sweet and secretive suggestive signals at you earlier and you suddenly realized wasn’t a wink at all — ohhhh. Ohhh no. You were a fool. Worse, you were a fool with a witness. The shock brought the cough out of you. It was a loud, full-bodied, very un-maidenlike cough. You sounded burly. Like a 5 pack a day smoker.

Beside you, a loud snort of laughter broke through your coughing and in your peripheral vision, you could see him actually shaking as he openly laughed at you.

“Be careful with that lemon, Javier. Someone might think you were flirting with them, right, Princess?” Kyungsoo had angled his torso toward you — a better position for making fun of you as he sought your confession of what you’d just thought was taking place between you and this poor man behind the counter who was literally just trying to do his job, not the guests. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows wagged suggestively and his grin was wide and all too knowing.

You could feel the warmth of embarrassment on your face just below the surface of your skin.

You swallowed the burning alcohol in your mouth and did your best to steady the expression on your face.

You lifted your chin and you rolled your eyes, and then openly glared at the man, simply unable to come up with a single response that would save your ego. You might have even let out a threatening growl in his direction.

No, Javier hadn’t been flirting with you. No, there were no other men here who were eligible and interested in you. You’d learned earlier that Mr. Chen was a married man and devoted father of two little girls. Jun and Roxy had been an item for quite some time. Javier was more enamored with impressing the aloof Chef Doh, and well, Kyungsoo — he was winding down with his laughter but that didn’t mean he was about to stop torturing you anytime soon.

There was nothing and no one for you here. The rain outside had been steadily falling for quite some time now and you suddenly longed for an escape. The sound of the wind had died down a while ago and you longed to feel the coolness of the refreshing raindrops on your face. Maybe while you were out there a tornado would carry you far away from this jerk.

“I’m going to have a look outside. I want to go for a walk. I am going outside. Is there a way to go out?”

Kyungsoo was still watching you, his very own drink in hand and his mean words at your expense ever freely flowing from his stupid mouth.

“You sound like a dog that is slowly learning how to talk,” he muttered under his breath.

You inhaled a deep calming breath.

He’d picked up a big yellow lemon and was holding it up in front of his face like it was a ball he was about to throw. A teasing, shit-eating grin was plastered across his face.

If you could just smack him, only once. You’d make it a really good one.

His lips pursed and his voice lifted higher and sweeter.

“Does my Princess wanna go play with the ball outside?” He said it, but the second it was out he seemed to freeze in place.

“You —,” you gasped, fully caught off-guard by the usually cruel nickname said in that way — said with his falsely sweet voice and with all of his fake affection attached to it. You felt betrayed by your subconscious to be having a surge of this uninvited feeling simply because instead of with his usual disgust, he addressed you with — with — as if you were his Princess — the butterflies were quick to flutter up inside of you but you were just as quick with another swift gulp of this drink to shove them deep down inside your belly where they needed to stay.

My Princess

Pl—Please…it was laughable if it wasn't so damned impossible.

My Princess

As if —

You breathed in and out through several exasperated scoffs, each one more convincing than the last.

“You —” you swallowed the drink angrily, “sound like an ass—”

“Mr. Doh,” Sara’s voice called out, interrupting the bottom barrel scraping level insult you were about to hurl his way, which no doubt would have only escalated whatever was going on between the two of you right now. You were sure you could see remnants of that same teasing smile still lingering on his lips. His cheeks were much pinker than you remembered before. Maybe he was a lightweight and was feeling the effects of this strong drink already. Whatever bullshit he was shilling out, he certainly seemed to be enjoying himself. It did take a few moments for him to register that he was being called and actually respond to it.

“Could you come this way, please?” She asked a few breaths after she was sure she had his attention. Her smile was soft and inviting and in her hands she carried a single sheet of paper.

Your curiosity about where he was going popped like a bubble when a fresh drink landed right beside your empty glass on the counter. This one looked different. You looked up into Javier’s face and he was smiling at you with a small nod of his head toward the drink.

“This one might be a little stronger,” he grinned.

“Let me guess, your job is to get us both hammered so we spill our deepest darkest secrets all over this stainless steel countertop.” You reached for the drink. You had been joking but Javier wasn’t playing it off with jovial laughter as you’d expected him to.

In fact, he didn’t really say anything. He was just reaching for ingredients to make another drink.

Eventually though, after you’d given in to the silence and started sipping on what you liked the taste of right away — it reminded you of iced tea in color and tasted sweet and refreshing — he started to talk.

“So what is the deal with you two, anyway?” He asked first. You had a mouthful of alcohol. Your already finished half of the glass and paired with the first drink you had you were beginning to feel the familiar warm dizziness of the liquor buzzing around inside of you.

“How much alcohol is in this?”

“Lots,” he confessed, “We have a bet. I think you two are exes. Nasty breakup. Maybe one of you cheated, he’s a chef so I’m gonna say it was him. You know, job with long nights and questionable ethics. Plus something about you gives ‘good woman’ vibes.”

“Oh my god, no. We never dated, he is the devil,” you giggled. It wasn’t particularly funny but it felt funny; his dramatic story of a whirlwind romance and the kind of breakup that not only split the pair but caused an earthquake between the group of friends, forcing them to pick sides.

“But, you do like him.” It wasn’t a question, “and he likes you.”

“He does not. He hates me.”

“He likes you. And you didn’t deny it, so you like him.” His declaration sounded so sure you wondered what the hell kind of strong alcohol he had been taking swigs of when you weren’t looking.

“It doesn’t matter. We would probably end up killing each other before anything else happened between us.”

Javier pondered your words for only a few moments. “So what do you like about him?”

You felt weirdly comfortable and safe in this conversation. With Claire or with anyone else who knew you both mutually, you were extra guarded. You hated everything about Doh Kyungsoo. You never wanted to see his face ever again. You wanted to live in a world where he did not exist. But with Javier, with the quiet corner you both were hidden away in, with the alcohol in your blood, you could feel your caution beginning to slip.

“Why does anybody like anybody?” You shrugged in a sad way. You knew it didn't matter what you thought about him, the seeds had already been sewn with so much poison, nothing would ever grow. “He’s nice to look at. He’s nice to listen to when he isn’t calling me mean names, his voice sounds nice. He —” you lifted the black straw to your lips and drained the last bits of the tasty drink, “has a strong back. My grandma always said a man ought to have a strong back.”

“A strong back?”

“Yeah, like sturdy. Like a mountain. A redwood tree. Like an old, solid wood picnic table without a single crack even after generations of all of the grandchildren dancing on it at the same time. That rat bastard.” You inhaled slowly and deeply and exhaled through your lips with your eyelids sagging just a little bit.

“Jesus.” He whispered under his breath, “that’s possibly the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard in all of my years of working here.”

“I just called him a rat bastard,” you giggled and Javier laughed openly.

“Yeah you did. I’ve never been insulted with that much passion. Maybe you’ll get to test out the strength of his back soon.” He lifted his eyebrows as if he just said something that made any sense to you. You just stared at him, shaking your head after a few of his suggestive wiggles.

“If you still want to go outside there’s a small covered patio right out that door,” Javier lifted a bottle opener to point toward a big gray metal door at the back of the room, “I think the storm should be calmer now, but will probably pick back up again in about an hour. Should be safe for now but you should really come back inside if the wind gets bad again. I’ll send you another drink and maybe some company in a little while.”

Oh, was he getting rid of you now? You spun on the chair you were seated on and plopped your feet down on the tile floor, making you way toward that door, grabbing the thing and giving it a big push with all of your might.

It swung open easily enough and the outside air was fresh and chilly. There were no lights out here but the occasional lightning flashes gave your eyes a little bit of a chance to adjust to the darkness. The space was small, with a concrete bench built into the wall and the cover of this patio extended just enough for you to be able to sit down without getting splashed with the falling rain too much.

You were exactly the right amount of drunk. The rain falling sounded loud enough for your senses to cloud over and you leaned your head back against the cool concrete enjoying the way the noisy rain echoed off of that tin roof and reverberated inside of the center of your skull.

The wind still had some power. Occasionally a strong gust would bring a wave of rain your way and your bare legs would take the brunt of it. You didn’t care much, even though you knew you shouldn’t stay out here for too long in these shorts. It was just a little cold. You were sober enough to know what you should and should not do in a hurricane.

The sound of the door opening pulled your eyes back open and you looked through the space that opened up. It was Sara and she came bearing gifts.

“Javier said you were out here,” she said with a sweet smile and you scooched over just a little so she could sit down beside you on the side that wasn’t getting as much rain. She handed you a fresh drink and sat beside you, warming your cool bare arm with her warmth. She had an excited smile and what looked like a sparkle in her eyes. The moment her hands were empty she was gripping your arm. She was squealing lightly, a whispered and excited noise that came from the center of her chest and then she was shaking you in excitement.

“He likes you. Doh Kyungsoo,” she squealed right into your ear, “Oh my God. I could die.”

“He,” she was pulling your arm in big dramatic movements, she was shaking your whole body harder, ”likes,” saying each word one at a time, “you.”

You looked into this poor delusional woman’s face the moment the shaking stopped.

“Sara, he just called me a dog in there,” you said flatly. “Not a puppy or even a doggie. A dog. That’s one step up from bitch.” Her smiles dropped and you could see the worry on her face.

“What? Why? What exactly did he say?” Finally she was asking the real questions. No matter how much of a crazy jerk he was he wouldn’t say something like that to someone he liked. She had it all wrong.

“I said I wanted to come outside,” you lifted your hands to show the outside you were now partaking in, “and he said ‘does my little princess want to come outside and play with a ball’ and then he’s like ‘you know, like a dog? Because you are a dog.’ He didn't imply it. He said it.” You dropped your voice as low as you could go with your lady voice when you did the impression of him. You figured it was a pretty good likeness. You had his accent down and everything.

You reached for the drink and took a long pull through the straw.

Sara was silent, but she no longer sported the worried look. She now looked quite pleased actually.

“He calls you ‘my little Princess’ and you refuse to believe that he likes you?”

“No, you didn’t hear how he said it. He’s so mean about it. He says it like an insult like I’m a spoiled brat. He uses it sarcastically.” This drink was just as strong as the last one, the ice tea one.

“Why on earth do you think he likes me? He totally hates me.”

“He just told me.”

You looked into her face to gauge her truthfulness. She was a little fuzzy around the edges.

“He didn’t,” you said, “he’s very sarcastic when he talks. If you don't know to look for it you might misunderstand.” You’d deny it forever. You’d deny it to save yourself from the pain of giving into it and then being crushed by his overwhelming hatred the second he showed up. “Look, tell me exactly what he said and say it in the exact same tone he said it in. And what you said first, I’ll need the full context.”

“So we do these interviews periodically throughout the retreat, to gauge how well the singles are getting along with each other. As you saw earlier, I took him aside to talk. Basic things like is there anything he needs to make his stay more comfortable. He said he doesn’t expect much given the current circumstances so he’s just happy to have a dry place to sleep and warm food to eat. He doesn't want to be a bother, which I felt was very kind of him.”

“Then to kind of ease into the topic of possible love interests, I pointed out that he didn’t seem to fare too badly while cooking blindfolded. Not a single burn or a cut and he said,” She cleared her throat and lifted her chin, “‘I had the best assistant. She did really well in there.’” She had a very pleased look on her face. You on the other hand stared at her with a more doubtful expression.

“That’s it? Even I know how well I did in there. I did everything for him, of course I was the best assistant. He’s probably never experienced that kind of support while cooking, Jesus, I literally held each of his hands inside of my hands when he was cutting up that fucking fish. I had to hug him for that, you know.”

Sara was smiling and nodding, not understanding your point. It wasn’t romantic of him to say you were a good pair of eyes, it was literally just a fact.

“And how did that feel?” Sara whispered as she leaned in closer, “hugging him?” Her excitement level was too high, “did he smell nice?” She was enjoying this way too much, “did his back feel strong?” You could see it even in your inebriated state. You pushed a shoulder against hers in protest, bringing a giggle from her chest. You didn't answer her silly questions, even if the memory of the smell of his back was still ingrained inside of your nose. Even if he had a warmth to him that you longed to touch again, you refused to say any of this outloud.

“What was your very first impression of him like?” Her next question was calmly asked. She had settled down with the shaking and squealing and over the top ridiculous excitement when none was warranted and she looked into your face now, just a friend asking another friend about a guy.

“Umm,” you looked out at the falling rain, ignoring the way the wind picked up a little bit and whipped waves of rain onto your leg, up higher on your thigh now that it had started getting a little wild, “I actually saw him from a distance at first. My friend Claire was hosting a dinner and he was sitting at the end of this really long table and wow, what a face. Just, some people get to walk around looking that handsome and nobody says anything?” You were giggling when you met Sara’s eyes and you noticed your drink was mostly empty already. These things went down so easily. The once perfect level of drunk you had was beginning to tip over the edge toward downright tipsy. You hoped to God you had enough self control tonight to slow down. This team obviously wasn’t about to slow down on offering you the alcohol, this was part of their plan.

“And, I mean, our friends, our mutual friends, they even tried to set us up once but,” you frowned dramatically and looked away from her expecting eyes, “I mean, he hates me of course. It didn’t work out. It would never work, we are both just…” You let your words trail off with a long dramatic sigh.

“He said he couldn’t stop looking at you,” Sara’s voice filled in the silence after your sigh, “that his first impression of you,” she inhaled a breath and her hand wrapped back around your arm as her eyebrows lifted in wonder, “was that you were so pretty he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.”

Impossible. She was lying to you to get you to confess something incriminating. You looked down at the third very strong drink these people had fed you and you could feel it then, just how very drunk you had become in such a short amount of time. Your memory slipped back to what she had asked you.

‘Did his back feel strong?’

This was part of it. This was part of the game they were playing to get you both to grow closer to each other. To get you to admit to things. You had told Javier earlier about your feelings for Kyungsoo and now Sara knew this information. She was using your own words to push you into him, telling you exactly what he had said about you just as — you gasped suddenly with your eyes widening — just as Javier was probably telling Kyungsoo right now exactly what you had said about him.

No. No, he shouldn’t know that. He couldn't know that.

You stood up and your legs were wobbly.

“No, Sara. He is a bastard and I am a dog, remember? We hate each other and there is no getting past hate.”

You hadn’t heard the sound of the door opening.

“I hate that man.”

The wind had been too loud. The rain had been falling in stinging waves against your skin. The storm had been raging too wildly for you to have heard anything else.

You fought through the terrible feeling of your entire back being soaked and you fought the lies they tried to get you to fall for, just so you could believe it all, believe that there was even a glimmer of attraction and affection from him and then they would all giggle and laugh when he broke your heart and rejected you again.

“He’s always only been a bastard and a jerk. If it wasn’t for this storm, I would be on the first plane far away from him the second I saw his face in that room earlier. You couldn't pay me enough money to stay here with him.”

They didn’t know. They didn't know what it felt like to have been rejected by him. They didn't know how much it hurt for him to put you in your place, again and again.

“I would be so much happier if I never met him.”

You had already said so many terrible things by the time you saw his eyes — dark, cold and angry. He was standing in the doorway listening to your long speech about how much you despised everything about him and how desperate you were to get away from him.

Oh no. Oh no, all of that had been — had been too harsh of you — You were only trying to stop all of the games but he heard it all.

He was moving through the doorway and there was a loud bang as the wind took the heavy metal door and slammed it closed.

His eyes were on fire. The words that left his lips were full of carefully controlled emotion.

”You’ve never even met me. You don't fucking know me,” he wasn’t yelling, he was growling at you.

“But you sure like to act like you do. You don't know shit. So you can step down off your high fucking horse. Quit pretending like you’re somehow a victim of my terrible personality and look in the fucking mirror for once because one of us an asshole and it sure as hell isn’t me.”

He wasn’t raging and speaking loud or irrationally and that somehow made it worse. That didn’t change the way his low voice delivered his message to you with the same amount of vitriol. If anything, his clear delivery made his words hit you even harder. He was very angry and he was upset with you. You felt every bit of his anger deep inside of your belly, it made your stomach burn and clench.

You lifted both of your hands in front of you in some stupid attempt to respond to him with body language.

This wasn’t right. He wasn’t supposed to have heard any of that.

You felt as if your entire face might be burning up. You felt shame in this.

All other times you’d fought with him, the right and the wrong had been crystal clear. He was wrong and you had been right. He was the bad guy and you were the good guy. But now, this time, and with the look of actual hurt you could see deep inside of his brown eyes you felt something different.

“Kyungsoo, wait. That’s not what I meant.” You managed to get the words out. You weren’t sure why you felt so desperate to set the record straight with him but it was probably what you knew deep down inside.

He was right. You were the asshole here. H-Had it always been you?

“I’ll just — step inside so you two can talk,” Sara had stood up and moved to the door, far away from the upset that was filling most of this back patio up with an uncomfortable atmosphere that you could almost not breathe within.

But you were trapped here, with him and his anger and his hurt feelings and — and — but, wait a minute. Why exactly were his feelings hurt? Because you called him a bastard? That wasn’t new. Because you proclaimed your desire to escape him? He frequently did the same.

Why did it matter to him what you thought?

You were insignificant to his life.

The door closed behind her and you were standing as far away from the man as you could. Most of your entire back was soaked with rain. You could feel the cold from the harsh wind beginning to prickle your skin and make you shake just a little bit.

Kyungsoo had stood to face you for a while but when you didn’t immediately offer any explanation like ‘it’s Opposite Day today! You say the opposite of how you really feel because it's fun. Isn’t this fun?’ he moved to sit down on the concrete bench and he stared ahead looking at the rainstorm but not actually seeing it.

After a few deep breaths you reached down deep and pulled out some words for him.

“They’re playing a g-game with us. There is-sa game happening right now.” You sounded drunk. This might work against you. His eyes moved from blank staring into the blackness of that rainstorm to blank staring at you. His arms were crossed over his chest and he still looked very mad.

“That man in there,” you lifted a finger to point toward Javier and you made a fist, moving it downward to pantomime the smashing motions he was making with the smashing thing back then when he was doing his smashing. You motioned three times and then quickly realized your hand, moving up and down like this resembled an obscene gesture. Oh god. Did you just do the hand gesture for jerking off?

“Oh my god,” you whispered, quickly moving both of your hands behind your back. “That man,” you motioned with your chin instead, “is gathering information. He is a spy. They all are.”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows had flattened out but he was still looking at you with that same blank expression. So far, so good. You would get him to see the truth.

“What did he tell you about me? Did he tell you something like—” you lifted your face, looking up and to the left toward the ceiling of this patio, making a quick decision about what sorts of your secrets Javier might have told Kyungsoo. It was tricky because you weren’t about to offer up the exact same secrets.

You couldn't get the secrets out. Instead you made a “mmm mmm” sound in the place of the words you might have told Javier about how handsome you found him, or about how nice his voice sounded as he whispered instructions to you as you both were cooking earlier. What if he said the thing, the strong back thing?

“Is your question to me, Did that man,” Kyungsoo lifted his hand and quickly jerked off the air three times, “tell me mmm mmm mmm something?”

You nodded your head, thankful that he was so good at solving puzzles. He understood.

But he wasn’t answering. He just sat up straighter, his eyes opened wider and he repeated the question you had asked him.

“Did that man tell me mmm mmm mmm something?”

“Yeah,” you nodded again, stepping just a little bit closer to where he sat. You were getting colder now.

“What the fuck does that mean?” His eyes were even wider now. “What does that mean? Are you having a stroke?”

You could hear genuine frustration in his voice. He was lifting his hands toward you. You’d misjudged his puzzle solving skills.

You closed your eyes and took another step, reaching his knee with your knee, you reached out and touched his outstretched hand. Maybe this might help with your words.

“Okay, so earlier, S-Sara,” it was difficult to grasp tight to her name but after a few tries you got it, “S-Sara told me that you,” you lifted your finger and reached out toward his face, landing your index finger right in the middle of his soft bottom lip. You pressed down and his lips parted with the softest gasp for air, “she said that you told her, and she told me, that you told her,” he lifted a hand and wrapped it around your hand, pulling your finger down from poking his lip as you figured this puzzle out. You looked down at the picture of his hand holding yours. “She said you thought I was pretty.” His lips were still parted and his warm hand was still wrapped around yours, holding you still, keeping you from blowing away in this wind.

“She told me you said that. That was a lie, right? They’re playing games with us.”

His lips were closed and his eyes were still watching your face. It didn’t seem like he was any closer to working out an answer to this puzzle.

“What lies did they tell you I said about you?”

Something flew by, something bigger than a leaf, maybe a small tree branch. You heard it hit the column that supported this patio and the sound of it made you jump as you spun around to see what it was.

“We should go in. It’s getting worse out here. And you seem extremely drunk.” When Kyungsoo finally responded to you, he didn’t answer any of your questions.

”Did Javier say anything about a mountain, or a p-picnic table?”

Kyungsoo stood up when you were distracted by the branch. He had spun on his heels and had walked away from you, leaving you half drenched and so close to the edge of this patio that the next swift gust could have easily thrown you off the platform down into the mud.

“Because they are lying.” You grasped for it. You leaned into it. You grasped and you leaned only where you expected to feel the strong sturdy column from this patio you felt none, and when you leaned you leaned against nothing at all and you felt the world leaving your body. You felt the falling. The falling scared you enough to let out a cry of fear. There was no floor beneath your feet, you were only falling down, how far did this step drop down onto the wet earth below?

You closed your eyes and braced for the impact. It would probably hurt. It might even break something. You’d ruin your outfit at the very least. You closed your eyes and you felt someone there. Someone warm and sturdy with smooth arms that circled around your waist, pulling you back from the edge with such strength and force you knew it had to be him. It had to be someone with a strong back who could support you and keep you from falling down.

You grasped at him, pulling yourself up with tight fists clenched around the white cotton of his shirt and when you opened your eyes the world had righted itself again. There was no more falling and no more panic. Your feet were planted firmly on this patio floor, situated directly in between his feet, your arms around his shoulders and his arms wrapped tightly around your waist and the rain that fell onto both of your heads dripped through his hair, pulling wet strands of black hair down in front of his eyes, obscuring most of his vision except for what he was looking at right in front of him, which was your face, which he looked all over without speaking. Those eyes touched over every one of your features and with each second that passed of it the more you began to feel the warmth returning to and soon overwhelming your skin.

You’d never be this close to him before this. You’d never wanted to be, before this. You let your eyes drift from the up close view of his lips to take in the view of his face. You allowed the smallest gasp to leave your chest. There was a thumping inside of you that seemed to originate from somewhere inside of him. Water ran down his face and you pulled your lips in, tasting rain water on your tongue.

“Inside. Now.” His command growled against your parted lips and you tasted the light fragrance of alcohol on his breath. The grip of his arms around your waist did not loosen despite the urgency you heard in his words.

Your hands should not have been moving but they were. The back of his shoulders and that plain white t-shirt was soaked through and the rain continued to fall over the both of you. When your hand traveled up the back of his shoulders and rested over the back of his neck you felt the incredible tension within his muscles there. He was solid and stiff and your hands should not have moved any more but you had a very flimsy grasp of your own self control

From the back of his neck you moved again, touching lightly around the front of him, fingertips trailing over his Adam’s apple and up to touch his pretty face.

The tension you felt within his arms changed when you let your fingertips trail over to his soft cheeks and when you touched the soft plump bottom lip you felt the clench of his jaw, the exhale of air through his nose and the tightening of his arms around your waist. His eyes were closed and that same thumping echoed throughout your chest.

“What did Javier tell you I said?” Your whispered question was stunted through the difficulty you had with breathing.

“That you thought I was someone with strong back muscles. I guess you need someone to help you move furniture. I don’t fucking know.”

You let out a laugh and his eyes opened to watch your face. He said it with a straight face but there was something just under his words that sounded like humor. The more time you spent with him, the more you actually began to pick up on the fact that most of the shit he said was a joke in disguise. Most of it. Sometimes he was just being mean. But this one was actually funny. You threw your head back with the laugh and his eyes danced around your entire face as you wound back down.

“You better not call me to help you move. We aren’t close enough for that.”

The real irony was this man saying something like that while still holding you tight up against his entire body like this. You were pretty sure he brought you back up to a normal body temperature by lending you the heat directly from his skin.

“Did you really tell Sara that?” You couldn’t bring yourself to say the words. There was a change in his posture when you asked it though.

You felt his arms loosen. You felt one arm leave you entirely and he reached around in front of himself to grab ahold of your hand, the same wandering one which had been touching his lips tonight and he wrapped his fingers around your hand, encasing it within his warmth and he pulled it down.

You felt the absence of his heat first, then the wobbliness of your legs returned to you, reminding you of just how drunk and cold you actually were.

“You’re soaking wet,” his words followed a quick glance down the length of you and even in this darkness you could make out the traveling of his pupils. You knew the fabric of this top and the too-short shorts would have clung to the shape of you — outlining the swell of your hips, the cinch of your waist, your soft breasts — giving his imagination too much to work with in the unlikely instance that he would be so inclined to have any sorts of imaginations about you, you’d given him the material for such impossible impossibilities.

It didn’t matter.

It would never happen. He was turning away from you, taking his warmth and body heat and muscles covered in transparent thin white cotton on top and flimsy black fabric that when the lighting flash just right gave you the outline of what you both knew was occurring between your hips and his hips when they’d been pressed up tightly against each other.

He was leaving and the big metal door slammed shut and before you could even shout out from behind him, calling him a coward for avoiding your question — and before you could even tell him how absolutely full of shit he was, the door opened back up and Sara was at your side with soft, dry, warm towels and a crowd of fussing and fretting Shitty Sands Resort staff members were all blabbering on about how lucky you were that you didn’t actually fall off that patio onto the jagged rocks and cactus (!!) below and how heroic and magnanimous Doh Kyungsoo was to have saved your pathetic and insignificant life.

He spun the tale to a crowd of very impressed ooh-ers and ahh-ers and you were far too drunk to add anything more than to throw out the random accusation that the entire group of them were dirty spies and the occasional request to go back outside which was shut down instantly by every single voice in the room.

Links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

[gaymer-hag-stan]

On the 29th of July, eleven years ago, f(x) released their second studio album, "Pink Tape."

Known for its experimental sound, "Pink Tape" blends various genres including electronic, dance, and pop. It features the lead single "Rum Pum Pum Pum" and is celebrated for its eclectic musical style and artistic music videos. The album received critical acclaim and is often regarded as one of the group's best works, showcasing their unique identity in the K-pop industry.

[through-rosey-glasses]

The Old Ironside: A Recipe and Ramble

In preparation for the first games of the Professional Womens Hockey Leauge (PWHL) I am testing out cocktails for each team that hopefully will make an appearance at my watch party. First up I am making a drink for the Boston Fleet.

The Old Ironside (thank you to everyone who voted) is inspired by nautical history and Boston history as well. The special ingredient here is an earl grey syrup that is basically an infused simple syrup. (Recipe for that can be found here) While I understand that an earl grey tea blend we drink today would not have been what was originally thrown overboard, it is a close match that has orange in it. And that orange pairs nicely with the orange juice used in the recipe. The orange and rum lean more to the nautical history of sailors while the tea is a reference to the Boston tea party.

Technically there are three recipes included here. How to make a single glass, how to batch for a party, and a mocktail option. Even if you are not a Boston Fleet fan, this cocktail is a fun and bright refreshment that can be really fun at a party.

(Unfortunately there has been an ant takeover in the kitchen and there isn’t a clean or pretty surface to take pictures of the cocktails right now. Pictures will come when things are clean and there isn’t ant poison in the background.)

 Old Ironside for One  

½ ounce earl grey syrup

1 ounce orange juice

2 ounces rum

Tonic water

Ice

Fill a cocktail glass with ice and pour in the syrup, orange juice, and rum. Give it a bit of a stir before topping it off with tonic water. You can add an orange peel to make it feel fancier.

              Old Ironside Batched

              Keeping a 1/2/4 ratio in mind, fill a pitcher with one part earl grey syrup, two parts orange juice, and four parts rum. I usually use a mason jar when doing this at home, but you can use any measurement that makes sense for you. Invite guests to fill a cup with ice and pour in the cocktail mixture a third of the way in, top off with tonic water, and enjoy!

Old Ironside Mocktail

There are two options here. First is to simply remove the rum from the cocktail. This really lets the earl grey syrup shine. The second would be to replace the rum with a nonalcoholic options, something like the seedlip grove 42 could work well here. (Seedlip is the only nonalcoholic brand I have tried before and why I am sharing it as an option)

Thank you if you read this far! I hope to update with pictures as soon as possible and I am testing out the next drink right now.

[coricoping]

CATS: The Jellicle Ball Summary

Sourced from my (admittedly imperfect) memory. I love this production, and this is an abridged summary of my memory of the events of the show. Specific/detailed character thoughts will be saved for their own posts, same with thematic deep dives. If there is any character/theme/question y'all want my thoughts on first, I can move them to the top of my queue of thoughts. That being said: on with the show!

Tumblr decided to post early, so this is just Act 1. I will add Act 2 as a reblog when I finish it

Pre-Show

The set for this show is really well done. Talked to one of the workers during intermission, and the whole thing (seating, stage, and all) is completely modular and movable. Floor levels are also all adjustable. It really inclines itself to audience interaction, both with the runway structure and the individual tables at the cabaret level seats.

Junior Labeija handles the pre-show announcements (put your phones away once you've googled me, cheer your heart out, don't film, etc)

Overture

Hearing this live for the first time made me cry

The DJ's introduction is great, he has a collection of queer and black artists' vinyls that he pulls out, followed by a Cats vinyl filled with glitter

The eyes (projected up onto the back wall/window panel) have the white cat solo animated inside of them

Shadow outline of a dancer (I think Primo/Tumble on the night I saw) starting out w/ ears and a tail doing classic Cats-style choreo blending into a removal of the ears/tail and a shift to ballroom choreo

Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats

Did the thing I love for this song where there are clear and well-timed spotlights on every cat as they sing their line, w/ everyone else in darkness

Cast appears throughout the audience (Tugger was behind me at his start, I think) before gathering into the area around the stage

Get onto stage for the Mystical Divinity section

The group catwalk is absolutely gorgeous, this show has great choreo

The Naming of Cats

The perfection of this song for a queer viewing of Cats cannot be overstated, and will likely be its own post eventually

Munk as an MC leading this number is lovely to me

"Man over there" is given to Macavity, as the first clear indication to his altered role in this version

There are spotlights on every cat whose name gets said in the song, not just Bombalurina, which makes me happy

White Cat Solo

Gets its own segment because Baby is that good. She is dance captain for this show and you can see why

The white outfit here is gorgeous, kinda sad she changes out of it later

Pink lighting is doing good work making this section feel ethereal

Was way closer to the vibes of the original than I was expecting from a vogue choreo. There were a couple moves I saw as clear references to the original

Invitation

Emcee Munk continues to be amazing, the rhythm of this was very satisfying

"COME OUT tonight"

They bring in guest judges to sit until Old Deut arrives

Gumbie Cat

Jenny is a tired single mother of three kids who cannot for the life of them get organized

Puerto Rican drag queen Jennyanydots has my heart, as does her stylist

The "sits and sits and sits" line here is not used to imply that Jenny is lazy, it is very explicitly saying that she has a lot of sex (as acted out jokingly by her choreo)

Cassandra is adorable here, both while dancing and after she realizes she's won

Category Is: Virgin Vogue. A category for people in their first year of doing vogue (or similar). Won by Cassandra of House Dots, other competitors are Tumblebrutus of House Dots, Electra 007, and someone I am currently forgetting

The Rum Tum Tugger

I think I've made my love for this setup for Tugger clear before, and will continue to do so in the future, so this is gonna be little moments I liked/noticed

There are some line/blocking switch ups. Bomba gets the "terrible bore" line (said reclined on the stage as Tugger leans over her) along with her standard. Victoria is the girl flirting with Tugger on his "No" drop

Tugger flirts with everyone here. His competition, the other cats, the audience, etc.

Everyone but Misto, who is off to the side mocking his riffs

Sillabub is the one to faint during the ending bit

Category Is: Realness. Ability to pass as a (in this case) a cishet man in a variety of categories (pretty boy, thug, schoolboy, executive, etc). Won by Tugger, other competitors are Tumblebrutus and Mungojerrie

Grizzabella the Glamour Cat

I really like the interpretation of the Jellicles' relationship with Grizz in this show. They aren't angry at her, more...distressed? It seems like her being around is making everyone worried both about her and for her, so they react differently

Munk tries to give her money, she refuses

She comes in holding a trophy that is clearly old, showing that her glory days were a while ago. She also looks like she's likely been homeless.

Demeter's voice is gorgeous here, and she looks really conflicted about Grizz

There is a Demelurina vibe to this whole show, which I started noticing here

I have a lot of thoughts on Grizz and her relationships with the Jellicles here, which will probably be a post pretty soon after this one.

Grizz tries and fails to convince the judges to allow her to compete, and is far more determined/steely in this first appearance than usual.

Sillabub. Making them a giant Grizzabella fan was such a good choice. This is one of the most sweet and genuine through-lines of the musical. They're so genuinely remorseful and excited to see Grizz, but still back off when Demeter warns them.

Bustopher Jones

I know I gave Jenny my heart earlier, but it's been stolen. Nonbinary Bustopher Jones as played by Nora Schell is, I think, the ideal Bustopher. This is what this character was meant to be, for me

Oh gods the costumes. Tugger has a sparkly leopard print jockstrap. Bustopher has a full bustier situation covered in a bedazzled Union Jack. Mistoffelees and Demeter both have lovely sheer situations going on. This is amazing, and I've been informed is even better if you're bi

Nora Shell has pipes, y'all. Their voice is so strong and clear

This number has almost no true choreography, it's just the competitors showing off how hot they are (posing, strutting, stripping, grabbing their asses and shaking them at the judges, etc)

The amount of offense Tugger takes to losing is hilarious to me

Category Is: Body. Usually divided into Femme Queen and Butch Queen, but competed as an Open-to-All for this show. How good does your body look, and how well can you show it off? Won by Bustopher Jones, other competitors are Tugger, Demeter, and Mistoffelees.

Macavity Scare 1

Flashing lights and sirens

Demeter is so done with this. I have rarely heard a clearer "bitch really?" tone than I did in her calling Macavity's name here

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer

Making them come from Jersey is amazing, top tier choice paired with some amazing accent work

Costumes are again amazing, Mungoteazer have a lime green/neon pink color scheme going on here

They spend a long time behind some changing racks, and I spent that whole time watching Munk as he got more and more annoyed with every passing second

I really love the dancing in this song, they get very up in each other's faces

Y'all, they steal the trophy when they lose. It's perfect

Category Is: Tag Team Performance. Vogue performance done as a pair. Won by Victoria and Tumblebrutus, stolen by Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer.

Old Deuteronomy

Munkustrap: a professional, on his shit, announcing his House Father right

Tugger: unprepared, eating a snack, oh god why is he giving me the mic

I love the setup for the duet here, Tugger is so surprised to be picked and is both nervous and honored. They sing into the same mic y'all

Andre De Shields, what more do I need to say?

His presence, his voice, the note he held for a solid 30 seconds, he deserves that throne

Jellicle Ball

Macavity again! In his dressing gown, with his bags of stolen stuff, looking like a deer in headlights when the spotlight catches him

The dancing continues to be absolutely gorgeous

Grizzabella is up on an audience balcony for this number looking tragic

The Jellicle Moon is a disco ball and it brought me so much joy

Munk has a killer egyptian look, including full-size wings

There are giant complicated cat face wigs and a giant hat made of hair

Category Is: Bizarre. Fashion category judged on the quality and strangeness of the outfit. Munkustrap was the only competitor, and Old Deut chopped him

Category Is: Hair. Not a category I actually know, but clearly in this show is judging based on the size, design, and quality of wigs. Won by the House of Dots, as sole competitors

Probably other categories I didn't notice clearly enough to remember

Memory

Grizzabella comes on and everyone walks off annoyed, except for Old Deut who comes and hides behind a riser. He's right in front of me, so I'm watching this number over his shoulder

Grizz recreating her dance moves is painful for my heart, as usual

Tempress has a gorgeous voice

Sillabub re-enters and looks so starstruck, then runs off again

Comes back with a sparkly dress to offer to Grizz

Grizz sees the dress, starts crying, and runs away. She grabs her coat, but leaves her scarf

We go to intermission on the image of Sillabub holding the scarf to their face and crying

[acocktailmoment]

Kingston Zing !

Ingredients:

Serving: 1

1/2 ounce grapefruit punch syrup (see Editor’s Note)

3/8 ounce strained lime juice (if 3/8 ounce breaks your brain, think of it as a light 1/2 ounce)

6 drops Bittermens Hopped Grapefruit bitters

5 drops salt solution (4:1, water to salt)

1 1/2 ounces Wray & Nephew overproof rum, chilled in the freezer

soda water, to top

Garnish: channeled lime twist (a thin ribbon peeled with a channel knife), grapefruit slice.

Directions:

Combine the first five ingredients in a shaker tin. Whisk with a milk frother (or stir briskly until combined) and set aside.

Fill a chilled 12-ounce highball glass with small ice cubes. Add the soda until the glass is three-quarters full.

Pour the contents of the shaker into the glass while holding the glass at a 45-degree angle. Top with soda until the glass is full.

Agitate the mixture with a single brisk dip of a bar spoon.

Garnish with the channeled lime twist and a grapefruit slice.

Editor’s Note:

Grapefruit Punch Syrup:

63 grams (2 1/4 ounces) grapefruit oleo saccharum (grapefruit peel and white sugar) 250 grams (8 3/4 ounces) strained grapefruit juice, preferably white 173 grams (about 6 ounces) white sugar 3 grams (about 1/2 teaspoon) citric acid

1. Make an oleo saccharum by placing 250 grams grapefruit peel (about 1 1/4 cups) and 250 grams white sugar (about 1 1/4 cups) in a resealable bag. Let the bag sit in the refrigerator for 48 hours. Once the sugar has dissolved completely, remove and discard the peels. Store in a resealable container and refrigerate. Will keep for 1 week in the refrigerator. Makes around 8 ounces.

2. Combine the juice and 63 grams (2 1/4 ounces) of the oleo saccharum in a blender and mix at a low speed. Slowly add the sugar, followed by the citric acid. Blend until the sugar is fully dissolved.

3. Bottle and refrigerate for at least 24 hours and up to 2 weeks. Makes 12 ounces.

Courtesy: Garret Richard, New York City /Punch

Photo: Lizzie Munro

 This article was not sponsored or supported by a third-party. A Cocktail Moment is not affiliated with any individuals or companies depicted here. 

[najia-cooks]

[ID: First image shows four small, circular pastries with x-shaped vents piled on a plate. Second image shows one of the pastries broken open to reveal ground beef, black raisins, and bits of olive and tomato. End ID.]

Bakery-style pastelitos de carne (Cuban stuffed pastries)

Pastelitos de carne are Cuban pastries stuffed with picadillo—a sweet-and-savory filling made from ground beef, olives, raisins, and sometimes potatoes. This recipe uses a sofrito of minced onion, bell pepper, garlic, tomato, and spices to provide an intensely flavorful base for the picadillo filling.

Homemade versions of pastelitos de carne often use rough pastry to encase their filling in large pasty- or turnover-style shapes. This recipe, on the other hand, is based off of a common style of pastelitos sold in Cuban bakeries—bite-sized bits of picadillo encased in flaky, tender puff pastry that is brushed in sugar syrup after baking to enhance the savoury-sweetness of the filling.

Recipe under the cut!

Patreon | Tip jar

INGREDIENTS:

For the dish:

1 batch of puff pastry

6 Tbsp (1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp) fine textured vegetable protein (TVP)

1/2 cup vegetarian ‘beef’ broth from concentrate, divided—or substitute vegetable broth + 2 tsp dark soy sauce

5 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil, divided

1/2 small yellow onion, minced

1/2 small green bell pepper, minced

1 small golden potato, diced (optional)

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 Tbsp pimiento green olives, diced (optional)

1 Tbsp black raisins (optional)

2 roma tomatoes, chopped and puréed (1/4 cup), or 2 Tbsp tomato sauce

1/2 Tbsp tomato paste (optional)

1/2 tsp chopped fresh oregano

1/4 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1 ciliment (bay rum) leaf

1/2 tsp cumin seeds, or ground cumin

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/4 tsp sazón

pinch ground Ceylon cinnamon (or substitute cassia)

To assemble:

1 Tbsp non-dairy margarine, melted

1/4 cup (60g) vegetarian granulated sugar

2 Tbsp water

Ceylon cinnamon, or "true" cinnamon, is often used in Latin American countries; varieties of cassia cinnamon, which is harsher in flavor, are more common in the U.S. You can find Ceylon cinnamon at a speciality spice or international foods store; it should have thin, flaky, densely overlapping bark, rather than thick swirls.

Bay rum leaves are a common ingredient in cuisine throughout the Carribbean; rather than the sharp citrus-and-pine aroma of a California bay leaf, they have notes of sweet spices and vanilla. If you don't have any, substitute a pinch of allspice, nutmeg, or clove.

The link to a sazón recipe is for a Puerto Rican version, but a typical Cuban version of the spice blend consists of the same ingredients—just reduce the amount of achiote by about half.

Raisins and/or olives are typically included in bakery-style pastellitos, but they may be omitted if you dislike them.

INSTRUCTIONS:

For the filling:

1. Cut the potato into a small dice. Soak it in a bowl of cool water to prevent browning and remove excess starch while you prepare the rest of the filling.

2. Prepare the TVP. Hydrate TVP for about 10 minutes in 1/4 cup + 2 Tbsp 'beef' stock, plus a pinch of sazón.

3. Heat 3 Tbsp olive oil in a large pan on medium-high. Add TVP and spread it out in a single layer. Allow it to brown without agitating for a few minutes before stirring it, scraping the bottom of the pan. Repeat this process a few times, adding more oil as necessary, until the TVP is deeply golden brown on all sides. Remove TVP from the pan.

4. Make the sofrito. In the same pan, heat another Tbsp of olive oil on medium-high. Add the bay leaf and cumin seeds and fry until cumin is fragrant.

5. Add the minced onion and sauté for 3-5 minutes until translucent. Add garlic and cook for 30 seconds until fragrant and no longer raw-smelling.

6. Reduce heat to medium. Add ground spices (sazón, cinnamon, and black pepper) and mix to combine; sauté for another 30 seconds.

7. Add bell peppers and allow to cook for several minutes until tender. Add tomatoes (I like to push everything else to the side and add the tomatoes to the center of the pan to allow them to come into direct contact with the cooking oil) and tomato paste and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture is mostly dry.

8. Finish the filling. Add browned TVP, fresh oregano, raisins, and olives. Add the remaining beef stock to deglaze the pan and continue cooking until the filling mixture is again mostly dry. Remove from heat.

9. Remove potatoes from water and pat dry. Heat 1 Tbsp olive oil in a medium skillet and fry potatoes in a single layer, agitating every few minutes, until golden brown. Mix with the rest of the filling.

To assemble:

1. Divide puff pastry into two, leaving the half you’re not working with in the fridge. Roll out into a rectangle about 1/8” thick and cut into as many circles as you can with a 2” cookie cutter or the rim of a glass, placing each circle on a parchment-lined plate. Place the plate in the fridge and repeat with the other half of puff pastry.

Remaining odds and ends of puff pastry may be baked as they are and eaten brushed with sugar syrup or topped with jam, spreadable cheese or fruit; they may also be gathered, rolled out again, and used as rough pastry.

2. Place a heaping spoonful of filling on top of a circle of pastry, and top it with another pastry circle. Press down firmly around the edges to seal. Repeat with the rest of the pastry circles.

3. Brush the top of each pastelito with melted margarine to aid in browning. With a sharp knife, make a small slit in the top of each pastelito to vent.

4. Return the shaped pastelitos to the fridge or freezer and preheat your oven to 400 °F (205 °C). While the oven preheats, prepare a 2:1 simple syrup by combining 1/4 cup sugar with 2 Tbsp water in a small saucepan and heating on medium, stirring often, until the sugar dissolves.

5. Bake pastelitos for 15-20 on the highest rack of the oven until deeply golden brown on the top and around the edges.

6. Using a pastry brush, brush pastelitos with simple syrup. Serve warm.

[tropes-and-tales]

Living for all of these Horacio minis! What about, THE SHY PERSON A INITIATING THE FIRST KISS ADJKSF with him? But maybe it’s the reader that’s shy????? Please and thanks! Hope you feel better soon! Take care of yourself!

It’s one part liquid courage and one part inside intel.

The liquid courage?  You’ve been steadily nursing enough Mai Tai’s to shed your usual painful shyness.  As office staff, it’s rare to be invited out with the agents and the Search Bloc soldiers, but you helped crack Escobar’s code language, which led to a windfall of intel.  Which led to a series of well-executed raids, which hopefully will lead to Escobar’s capture.

It was Murphy who clapped you on the back, told you that you were coming out with them.  You had no time to object or come up with a convincing excuse why you couldn’t, and now here you are.  Nursing Mai Tai’s and getting steadily braver.

The inside intel?  That was pure luck.  A lot of intel is, you’ve found.  A lot of it is being in the right place at the right time, which you had been.  You had been tucked away in a small file room, paging through old paperwork as you tried to crack that code language.  The door to the room hadn’t been shut, only cracked, and when Agents Peña and Murphy stood outside (the coffee maker is on a nearby shelf), you heard every blessed word as clear as day.

Murphy was the one that makes the joke.  It’s the usual joke about Peña and his prowess, how the man has run out of available women in Medellín.  Murphy was the one who said your name, suggested you as a next possible conquest. Your face burned immediately—you waited for Peña to scoff at the suggestion, to say something rude about your shyness, your ability to blend into wallpaper.  

Peña did scoff, but he didn’t say anything disparaging.  Instead he said, “are you fucking kidding me?  Carrillo would kill me if I went after her.”

Then it was Murphy scoffing until Peña clarified.  He spilled all the intel, even single bit of it.

“The man can’t look away when she’s in the room.  Remember that one Embassy fuck?  The one who said she looked like she needed a good fuck to loosen her up?  Carrillo pulled that asshole aside and put the ever-loving fear of god into him.  Told him if he ever heard him talk about her like that again, he’d find himself dumped out of a helicopter over the mountains.”

“Shit,” Murphy replied.  “Seriously?”

“Don’t fuck with a man in love,” Peña said sagely.  “Which is why I stay far away from her.  I like being alive.”

The thing with intel is that you have to prove it out.  Which you did, after that bit of unintentional eavesdropping.  You paid closer attention to Colonel Carrillo.  You watched him out of the corner of your eye, watched him in the reflection of windows.  You watched how he interreacted with other single women of the office.

You think Agent Peña is right.

Hence the liquid courage.  You’re office staff because you aren’t naturally brave, so you lean on rum and Curaçao and plan your next move.

There’s no art to it, in the end.  It’s not like the movies where you gracefully pull him in for a kiss and a swell of orchestral music marks the moment.  The night is winding down and many people have already gone home.  Carrillo remains, and you can guess why.  It’s another thing you noticed—how he never lets you stay at the office longer than him.  How he follows you in his car until you’re at your apartment complex.

You guess he’s waiting to see you home safely.

When you approach him where he stands at the bar, his stern expression melts into a soft smile that few ever seem to see but that you see plenty of.

“Ready to go home?” he asks, and you nod, but you take a deep breath and don’t let him move from where he’s leaning against the bar top.  You imagine the rum in your veins, burning away the painful shyness that has crippled you since you were a child, that has kept you living a lonely half-life.  You look the Colonel square in the eyes—a feat in and of itself—and you find him gazing back at you, a question in his dark eyes.

He’s not that much taller than you, and you have the advantage of being in heels.  You’ve never once instigated a first kiss with a man, but with enough rum, anything is possible.

Which is how you find yourself kissing him:  you press your palm against his chest, then rock onto your toes.  You catch the surprise in his expression just as your lips touch his, and you feel the sharp inhale of his breath…and there’s a split second that seems to last an eternity where he doesn’t move or kiss you back.  

Then he leans back and breaks the kiss.  He peers at you.  

He asks, “how much did you have to drink?”

“Just enough to feel brave enough to do that,” you reply.

You’d despair at the searching way he looks at you then, but then…then he smiles, that rare Carrillo smile of his that few people get to see.  You feel his hand curl around your shoulders as he pulls you close to him, bends his head, and kisses you back.

[ruiniel]

Vodou symbolism in Castlevania Nocturne

Vodou developed among Afro-Haitian communities amid the Atlantic slave trade of the 16th to 19th centuries. Its structure arose from the blending of the traditional religions of those enslaved West and Central Africans, among them Yoruba, Fon, and Kongo, who had been brought to the island of Hispaniola. There, it absorbed influences from the culture of the French colonialists who controlled the colony of Saint-Domingue, most notably Roman Catholicism but also Freemasonry. Many Vodouists were involved in the Haitian Revolution of 1791 to 1801 which overthrew the French colonial government, abolished slavery, and transformed Saint-Domingue into the republic of Haiti.

At the heart of Vodou are the symbols known as vèvè. These cosmograms are intricate drawings made with cornmeal, coffee, or flour, and they serve as the visual representation of the spirits and deities (known as lwa, also called loa or loi) honored in Vodou. Each vèvè corresponds to a specific spirit, and invoking them involves drawing the corresponding symbol on the ground. This is often performed by an initiate who has learned the technique and is an essential part of Vodou rituals and ceremonies.

Let's look at some of the symbolism shown in Nocturne.

1. Agwe Arroyo or Agwe Tawoyo/Agwe 'Woyo - "Agwe of the Streams"

Captain of Immamou, the ship that carries the dead to the afterlife. He cries salt-water tears for the departed. He assisted the souls of those that suffered crimes against humanity during the trans-Atlantic slave trade. Agwe is called to calm the waves of the sea or ensure happy sailing, but mainly he is worshipped by those who fish and whose life depends on the life in the waters. People under his protection will never drown and water will never harm them.

2. Kouzen Zaka, or Azaka

The patron lwa of farmers, but he is also known as a lwa travay, a work lwa. Kouzen Zaka, represented by this vèvè, is the guardian of the fields in Haitian Vodou. The drawing of his symbol showcases elements of agricultural activity, including the earth, machete, sickle, hoe. Zaka is closely tied to work and is revered by farmers and those who rely on agriculture for their livelihood.

3. Erzulie Dantò or Ezilí Dantor

The main lwa of the Petwo lwa family in Haitian Vodou. She is a powerful and protective mother figure, often depicted holding a knife, symbolizes justice and will forcefully fight to protect her children, who are her loyal followers. She is a single mother, a Haitian peasant who is fiercely independent and takes care of her own, a strong protector of women and children.

4. Legba: The Guardian of the Gates

Papa Legba, the first spirit to manifest during a Vodou ceremony, holds a special place in the Vodou Pantheon in Haiti. His vèvè symbolizes his role as the barrier between the two worlds, with two perpendicular axes and his cane. Known as a trickster Loa, he usually appears as an old man on a crutch or with a cane, wearing a broad-brimmed straw hat and smoking a pipe, or drinking dark rum. The dog is sacred to him. He carries a sack on a strap across one shoulder from which he dispenses destiny. He is believed to speak all human languages. In Haiti, he is the great elocutioner: Legba facilitates communication, speech, and understanding. During Vodou ceremonies he opens the spiritual gateway that separates the Loas from our physical world.

In addition, Papa Legba is the guardian of portals, doors, and crossroads. His role is critical in any Vodou ritual, as he's the one who grants access to the other Loas and allows them to manifest themselves during the ceremony.

What we hear Annette chant in the series is 'Papa Legba: Ouvè Baryè'a' (Papa Legba: Open the Gate).

There's a lot more to dive into, but this was a summary.

[barbadoshappyhours]

If you’re a fan of whiskey or nuanced, complex rums, you’ll want to grab a bottle of this limited-release Barbados rum…

[leviabeat]

From VolbeatSpirits.com

Written by Ryan J. Downey

Before he became the singer, guitarist, and primary songwriter in Volbeat, teenaged Michael Poulsen loved potent music (from heavy metal to rockabilly) and drinking socially. While building an English-style pub in his basement as an adult (which friends describe as “like something out of Peaky Blinders”), Michael discovered a deeper fondness for whiskey and the sense memories it can conjure.

“I was opening all these boxes and deciding what to put on the shelves and what to throw out,” he remembers. “I opened a bottle, took a sip, and my mind just flew away. Suddenly, I was six years old again, on the moped with my dad, going to pick corn for the birds he kept at home. I could taste and smell the grass, green apples, and pears on the trees. I looked at the bottle, and it was a very old Irish whiskey. After that, I wanted to know everything about what makes Irish whiskey so special.”

Plenty of rock stars and celebrities are content to simply slap a label on something. However, as demonstrated by Volbeat’s premium rums, that doesn’t cut it for Poulsen and his bandmates, including bassist and backing vocalist Kasper Boye Larsen and cofounding drummer Jon Larsen.

“At the regular corner supermarkets, they just have one brand, and it’s so terrible I wouldn’t even polish my bike with it,” explains Poulsen. “I couldn’t understand why getting good Irish whiskey around the world was so difficult. You must really know where to go. After making a lot of rum, I thought it would be a great challenge for someone to make an Irish whiskey with a Danish band.”

Enter the Great Northern Distillery, the largest independent distillery in Ireland.

Thanks to its proximity to the pure waters of the Cooley Mountains, brewing began in earnest in the historic Town of Dundalk in the late 1600s. The Great Northern Distillery operates on the former Great Northern Brewery site in Dundalk, Co. Louth; the original brewery on site was in 1896. The inaugural three-year-old Irish whiskey the Great Northern Distillery produced came of age in 2018.

The late Brian Watts, master distiller and general manager at GND worked with Michael on the original blends for what became Outlaw Gentlemen. (Sadly, Watts passed away in late 2022.) Distiller, blender, and Head of Commercial Operations Brian Mongan saw the final product through.

“We went for a walk of the distillery and saw how they were working, then sat down at a table and started talking,” Poulsen remembers. Over time, samples arrived in Denmark from Ireland. “Brian Mongan really did an amazing job helping me find the right casks, barrels, and everything for this.”

Mongan remembers the collaborative process fondly. “Some people might say, ‘Oh, that guy didn’t make the whiskey himself.’ But Michael was very active in the direction of where the finished product went. A Michelin-star chef collects the best ingredients and assembles them. They don’t necessarily farm the animals and grow the vegetables. With a blended whiskey, you’re essentially pulling levers with flavor, pulling one thing back to accentuate something else. That’s one of our core competencies as a company: we distill, we mature, and we also produce whiskey blends.”

Poulsen describes the process as not unlike songwriting. “I write songs that I want to listen to, using all the elements, inspirations, and tastes I want to put into the music. It can be very detailed or straightforward. It’s the same with whiskey, figuring out what you like the best. Do it with heart.”

Ultimately, it was important for the Outlaw Gentlemen blends to capture that same immersion Michael experienced when a single sip sent him back into a fond childhood memory. “It’s a very personal whiskey. I wanted to have that feeling of being on my dad’s moped again. Everyone can come on a journey drinking it beyond just getting drunk. Great Irish whiskey can do that for you. ‘Oh my God, I’m back at my grandmother’s house. I recognize this smell.’ It’s beautiful.”

Like Outlaw Gentlemen & Shady Ladies (the multi-platinum album from which it takes its name) and everything bearing their name, Volbeat crafted Outlaw Gentleman with passion, intention, and authenticity.

[theorysvault]

[ ₊ TOP 10 . ﾟ ── ﹟ ✶ ◌ best kpop songs ever . ]

₊ ﹟ . ﾟ while this is a list of the best kpop songs ever realsed, ill warn you that this list has more female artists than male. as this is my opinion so dont take this list to heart if you’re offended or hurt! additionally, im compiling the best kpop songs not throughout all of kpop history, but in the past 10 years!!

₊ ﹟ . ﾟ honorary mentions: 4 walls by f(x), bad boy by red velvet, one shot two shot by boa, rum pum pum pum by f(x), spring day by bts, i feel you by wonder girls, puzzle moon gwsn, hype boy by newjeans, catallena by orange caramel, un village by baekhyun, tt by twice, whistle by blackpink, energetic by wanna one, better by boa.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 10 ! Ditto by NewJeans 𓄹

You might argue that other Newjeans songs should’ve taken this place but I’d say this was the turning point for the group. Never before had they leaned so heavily into the UK garage sound and this song was a massive hit. Of course it was slightly overshadowed by their follow-up single, “OMG,” but this song is captivating and makes you feel nostalgic with its production.

The of synths, snare drums, catchy hooks, and retro vocal melodies of ‘Ditto’ is something to admire. This combination easily qualifies this song as one of best sounding Kpop songs of this decade.

Additionally, ‘Ditto’ catapulted a phenomenon throughout Kpop that just started. Now their sound is not original, UK garage originated in the late 80’s and newer artists like Pinkpantheress had gained notoriety for it before Newjeans, but they came in guns blazing to the Kpop music scene. Imitations and inspirations are everywhere concerning Newjeans’ aesthetic, sound, artistic identity. Regardless of the issues about plagiarism and the integrity of Ador, this song and Newjeans will go down in Kpop history as a time people wished they witnessed in real time.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 9 ! View by Shinee 𓄹

While this may seem like a boring Euro-dance and pop song, it stays as one of the best 2010’s songs and especially by a boy group in my opinion. It is an impeccable summer anthem that manages to serve as both a time capsule for 2015 and a track that remains replayable to this day.

It blends deep house and techno to an extent as well, that is catchy and danceable. Providing a refreshing alternative when it was released, emphasizing melody and rhythm over sheer intensity. And in the history of Kpop, it introduced these sounds to the mainstream and helped broaden the musical landscape of releases to come.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 8 ! The 7th Sense by NCT U 𓄹

‘The 7th Sense’ is stylish, moody, sexy, and dreamy all at once. Its energy is something hard to describe other than sticky. Your ears are glued to every part of the song as if it’s about to sip at any moment. It relaxes and softens, then becomes more aggressive with its tone, keeping you on your toes.

While maybe to some ears this song sounds like a product of its time, and something that won’t hold much longevity, I very much disagree. It’s a confusing and delicious track that probably can’t ever be recaptured. This was fresh and additive when it came out and hasn’t lost those qualities since.

And it didn’t change the game like the previous songs, it highlighted the enginuity that could only come from the Kpop industry (even while its inspirations from the West are so prominent). It’s unfortunate and fortunate that we didn’t get a hundred ‘The 7th Sense’ copycats after NCT U’s debut.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 7 ! Girl Front by Odd Eye Circle 𓄹

‘Girl Front’ is probably one of the best pop bangers ever! While Odd Eye Circle were not revolutionary with their sound and vibe when releasing this track, it is definitely one the best-executed pop tracks I’ve ever heard. With their electronic influences, energetic and upbeat vocals, and stuttering keyboard sounds make this seem like a punch in your face with sugar.

Moreover, this song captures what makes Kpop so enthralling in the first place with its soundscape so rich and dynamic, it remains fresh with every listen. Even though this is not officially a LOONA release, it raised the group’s popularity and set the precedent regarding the memorable artistic vision for the group.

And while LOONA and were not the trendsetters that they could have been, their near-perfect discography and style will stand as one of the pinnacles of Kpop, along with this wonderful song. Even if I wasn’t a LOONA fan, I wish for nothing but the best for the girls as they so desperatly deserve it!

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 6 ! Red Light by f(x) 𓄹

This stands out in F(x)’s discography for its bold, slightly abrasive, complex production. Mushing together EDM, trap, pop, and house with its pounding beats and synths definitely makes it a song you won’t forget whether you like the song or not.

F(x) were not pioneers of experimental music in Kpop when looking at their contemporaries like Girls Generation with “I Got A Boy,” they seemed to continually perfect the concept since their debut. And this track stands as one of their best among their very critically acclaimed and highly praised catalog.

With “Red Light” specifically being a standout from their usual pop formula regarding the structure and vibe, F(x) currently stands as one of the most under-appreciated, talented, and innovative artists to ever be seen.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 5 ! MOVE by Taemin 𓄹

TALK ABOUT THE KING OF GROOVE HIMSELF MR. LEE TAE-MIN! This song oozes sexiness and refinement. It’s classy, sensual, groovy, and funky. These mixtures of sounds and concept that can only be pulled off to perfection by Taemin.

“MOVE” has this addictive bass, hard-hitting synths, and R&B melodies that blend perfectly, and never does one element overpower the other. When groups and soloists aim to do a sexy or mature concept, this is one of the benchmarks.

It’s unapologetic and not shy about its androgyny. And Taemin’s ability to embody the feminine and masculine sides of this song makes this song not just a hit, but a cultural statement. While this exploration of sexuality is only a fraction of what Taemin would later release, it remains an inspiration to the different ways of expressing sexuality, gender, and the ways in which boundaries can be pushed in Kpop.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 4 ! The Rain by Ladies Code 𓄹

This song is unjustly underrated and unappreciated. It shines with its R&B, Jazz, and piano sounds combined with haunting and beautiful vocals. Despite its mellow tempo and vibe, it captures the listener with its funky chorus and rise in tension throughout the song.

Most send-off albums and songs are poorly executed and half-assed, however ‘STRANGER’ is anything but. It’s deep, dreamlike, and moody. This song especially conveys a vibe unique and ethereal and stays a hidden, but very well made gem in Kpop.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 3 ! Supernova by aespa 𓄹

Aespa continued to be a symbol of different and boundary-pushing music with their title tracks since “Next Level,” often polarizing people with their sudden beat switches and intricate production. However, with “Supernova” they really mastered their craft as it sums up what makes Aespa so compelling.

It sounds pleasant, punchy, and grand with its perfect sound design, laced perfectly with “Planet Rocks” by Dem Jointz & KENZIE (also heard in “Twerkulator” by City Girls) which is something only Aespa could make work with this song. And it’s not too obscure that it’s all that daring, but it executes every tone, vibe, and sound so well that it easily deserves to be this high on this list.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 2 ! Automatic by Red Velvet 𓄹

The most underrated song off Red Velvet’s discography simply because this is one of the best song this decade and no one is talking about it. “Automatic” is painted with a compelling baseline, R&B and pop sound, relaxing but seductive tone, and a catchy chorus that holds even after ten years since its release.

Everything about this track if overflowing with perfection and elegance. It was a refreshing change of pace from their debut “Happiness,” instead delivering a sophisticated, stylish, and timeless classic. Red Velvet, before “Bad Boy” or “Kingdom Come,” truly cemented themselves as the queens of R&B and with making some of the best quality music in Kpop history with this song.

# ✶ ✺ . 𓂅 NUMBER 1 ! Free Somebody by LUNA 𓄹

WHEN I THINK ABOUT POP I THINK ABOUT THIS SONG!!! It is so infectious and bright and encapsulates everything addictive about pop music: catchy hooks, powerful but not overbearing vocals, instant danceability, and LSD-infused tempo.

It sort of reminds of me “Rush” by Troye Sivan because that is another song that makes me feel like I’m on some type of high. And in that way, it is a classic and could be realsed right now, or even five years from now it’d still hit! “Free Somebody” explores electro-house and it SLAPSSS!!!

Even when there might moments where the tempo slows down, you’re just on a sugar high roller coaster till the 3 minutes are finished. So much charisma, quality, and power in is packed into this three minute and twenty second song that this can never be forgotten or truly replicated in Kpop.

[lusifernocturne]

The Grim Kraken

Located near the dock, it has three stories plus a basement used for storage. The top floor is off limits to guest as the innkeepers and their family live there. The bottom floor has a large tavern, a communal room with 12 beds(renting a bed and chest in the room is 5cp), and 6 small single rooms(8cp). The middle floor has 8 rooms with two single beds(2sp), 5 rooms with a double bed(5sp), and 3 rooms with two double beds(8sp).

Innkeeper: Sirus and Passion(Tiefling couple), with their kids Art(17 year old boy), Wit(14 year old girl), Naza(11 year old girl), Mavzer(5 year old boy), and Dexez(8 year old Leonin who was left on their door step as a baby).

Menu (or average price of a room/meal): Roasted Oxen and Dried Watercress with a tankard of ale (7 cp),  Goat and Quail Egg Omelets, served with lingonberrys(4sp), Roasted hazelnuts and fresh apples with a strip of bear jerky and a wedge of ripe cheese(10sp), Celebratory Goat Stew with assorted fruits, nuts, and cheeses(10cp), Spicy Jambalaya with crispy eel skin strips on top(8sp), Bread pudding with extra sharp dire goat cheese, comes with a side of grilled onions and carrots(10sp), meatloaf with garlic bread and potato edges(9cp), Shrimp Salad(8cp), Salmon Burgers with lettuce/spinach, tomato, and red onion with a side of fries(6sp), Seafood Gumbo, rice, corn bread, and fried okra(9sp), Clam Chowder, bread, and side salad(4sp), Fish and chips(8cp), baked or grilled fish with apple walnut slaw(2sp), pancakes with bacon/sausage, 2 eggs cooked to your taste, and mixed fruit(3sp), Stewed Mutton and grilled cabbage(4cp), Vegetable Stew(3cp), Wheat Porridge(3cp), Stewed Mutton and Soft Cheese(4cp), tankard of Mead(2cp), tankard of Ale(2cp), tankard of Rum(5cp-10sp depending on quality), tankard of local fruit wine(10cp-12sp), tankard of beer(2cp), and the special brew menu made by Passion.

Rumors: Ruins in the woods, imports, items of interest, and local jobs.

Passion's special brew menu:

Tarnation - A strong spiced cider served warm and traditionally drank as quickly as possible after a boisterous cheer or a lewd drinking song. Enchantmented with the effect of the consumer belching a small flame right after ingesting.(20gp)

The Sweet Roll - flavors of cinnamon and sugar blend with the strong scent of rum. The drinker gains an additional 1d4 to any pickpocket attempts for the next hour.(15gp)

The Chromatic - 5 different shots, one for each color of the different dragons. One is black and syrupy, one blue and gives a tingly feeling, one is on fire, one is green and tastes a bit minty, the last is white and frosts the closest things. They are mixed together and separate in the cup making a very nice presentation.(30gp)

Ginger Ale - Wait, this doesn’t taste like ginger at all... An ale that turns your hair ginger, effect lasts for 1d6 days.(10gp)

For Phoenix’s Sake - a local sake or rice wine, popular with priests.(20sp)

[piraticalwit]

@twistedwit: finally kissing the person you’ve been pining for . (soldier)

The pub is a haze of smoke and laughter, a blend of music from an ill-tuned guitar played by a shy owner with a quavering voice and the shouts of a crowd that insult and encourage with equal fervor... and from his chosen table in the back corner, Killian watches through a warm fog of drink. Dimly he's aware of a sharp crack on a what should've been easy note, and a small voice in the corner of his mind wonders why someone hasn't put the poor sod out of his misery already, phantom fingers plucking at invisible strings as an aching wrist is shoved further into his jacket pocket. Smee laughs at one of Starkey's jokes, a loud and raucous noise followed by a flush of embarrassment as he realizes too late that he's reacted too soon ... so afraid of being left in the dark by those he considers friends that he's willing to risk the part of the fool. His eyes flicker toward their appointed leader, the glue that holds their band of misfits together despite the jagged thundercloud that so often lashes out like a whip, as if awaiting Killian's judgment - but the Irishman is too lost in the weight of the knee currently nudging against his own to give a damn about poking at the easy target that is William Smee.

A single brow arches as that leg nudges his all the harder, stubbled features giving way to the grin that slides slow and easy across rum flavored lips. Fingers seek out the older man's own, interlacing in a tangle of warmth and acceptance that sends his heart thudding against the hollowed cage of his chest while he does his best to feign interest in whatever the fuck Starkey and Cecco are arguing about now. It's the same really - aye, it's as if nothing has changed. Poor acoustics and a packed pub giving way to a night where they all spend many a hour talking over the top of one another and doing their best to drown less important people out. Smee is confused as always, head swiveling this way and that and brows furrowed as if he's trying to work out whether or not any of them are having the same damn conversation... Cecco is loud and boisterous, thumping the table in emphasis of some strongly held opinion that no one gives a shit about while carefully avoiding the reach of any punch that Starkey might decide to throw at him.... and Starkey is that ever stalwart presence, the one who watches the castle fall down around him and spends every waking second patiently repairing it, stone by stone meant to bolster his best friend's ego and keep their half rotten dinghy afloat. Killian watches it all with fascination, wonders how things can feel no different when so many things are (the loss of a hand, the gain of a new addition), and carefully avoids that knowing grin that his best friend (first mate, as he likes to say) sometimes throws his way.

Later, when they've all stumbled their way out the door and into the cold night air (some more gracefully than others), the Irishman holds back, pretends an attempt at regaining his balance by leaning against the rough brick wall, hand and wrist shoved firmly into pockets. He plans on apologizing, maybe saying something vague and offhanded in the chance that his date has spent the last four hours trying to plan an escape from the three ringed circus that is Killian Jones and his band of misfit followers, but he remembers the playful nudge underneath the table and the way his fingers felt wrapped in the other man's own .... so when Guy steps in front of him, a presence he can feel as if the very air is charged between them, forget-me-not blues open to meet ones so akin in color to their own.

"Hello, gorgeous." It's a playful greeting, a slur of words carried on a drink flavored lilt.. but before he can offer up anything else (a joke maybe.. or an offer to use the measly amount of money in his wallet to buy them a pizza or something..), the other man is catching his chin with a grip that he is fairly sure sends his heart leaping from his chest and into the middle of the bloody pavement.

Fuck.

The kiss, when it comes, is everything he had always wondered if it would be - a promise sealed in mint and scant beer and the taste of something that he will later come to know is distinctly Guy and the Irishman feels the what was give way to what will be. Somewhere the shadow of his life before the desert heat and the harsh flames of a vengeful god evaporates into the night, and some new part of him leaps at this chance of hope and rightness that weaves its way into his bones. When the older man moves to pull away, fingers creep out from their hiding spot inside his coat to curl around the nape of the taller man's neck, drawing him down until their foreheads rest against one another. The pub has emptied now, the last few stragglers have made their way down the street, unheeding of the two lives that are changing a mere meter or two away from them, and as a hush falls around them, blue eyes meeting blue, Killian is almost certain he can hear the moon overhead whisper his earlier statement, stars echoing it with a playful chuckle.

Hello, Gorgeous.