#sincerely. an ex cult member

[ms-andrie]

Okay but i really hate to be this person but why do you think that people are more understanding of cult survivours than abuse victims. Because I promise you, people are not magically more understanding of your situation if the abuse occurred in a group setting.

I really do not think they are comparable in the way where you can say for certain one gets more backlash than the other. There are abuse victims that are given a lot of sympathy. There are ex cult members who get treated with unreal hatred. The opposite is also true, but i dont think its the type of thing you can make declarative statements out of. People hate both groups. They hate both! And sometimes one person will hate one group more than the other, or be tolerant towards one, but i promise you, whether you were in a cult of 1 or a cult of many, people have a great deal of disdain for you regardless.

I really hate to say this but y'all fundamentally do not understand the experience of cult survivours. I think radblr understands what it means to be an abused woman. That is an experience that is impossible to not be educated on in this space. But cults? Yeah, nah. Thats different. Abusive relationships are like a cult of one, thats very true. But being in a cult is... Like i cannot describe to you what that situation is like. And i cannot concretely put into words how you are treated by people -- both when you are in, and when you are out. At least the average person recognises that an abused woman is in a bad situation. The average person thinks someone in a cult is just fucking nutso. Playing stupid games, winning stupid prizes. That kind of thing.

And i dont know. Maybe you have lived experience in this area, and you're making a comment based on your perceptions and understanding of how you were treated. I dunno! This is tumblr and anyone can say anything and i have no idea what the context of your life is. But im also speaking out of context from my life. There is very little love for people who've escaped cults. there is even less love for the people trapped in them.

And i get that what youre trying to say is that the two are analogous situations, and its definitely worth analysing. But saying theres more contempt for abused women is just. Im sorry but that is an incredibly broad generalisation. And i dont think that is the case. I think any attempt to quantify who gets more contempt is just completely off base. Its like saying that because apples are associated with keeping doctors away, and oranges are not, liking apples is better for you. Like. It just doesnt make sense. I dont get why we're trying to say one is better or worse than the other.

Please. Nuance. I beg of you.

people are often condescending to members of cults and other high-control groups but never to the degree that they are to women in abusive relationships. even tho imo the situations are similar enough for useful comparison. people might say "well EYE would never be involved in a cult because i'm just too smart" but they don't view cult members with the same contempt they view abused women. and the contempt for abused women is so strong that even when a victim is also a victim of religious indoctrination the response is "well, she still could have left" yeah left and risked violence from her husband, abandoning her kids, alienation from her family and community, very little ability to make an income, the fear of going to hell. believe it or not but external circumstances limit people's ability to make free choices. crazy i know.

[absolutehomosexuals]

Baldur's Gate 3 is known for its variety in romance options, allowing you to romance all six of your companions regardless of the player's sex/gender and including the possibility of a non-monogamous relationship with some of them.

While we do think it's an interesting idea in theory, the way bg3 implemented this feature could use some work, especially character-wise.

Something that could've been fun and unique turns, sadly, into a mildly uncomfortable experience if you stop to think about the implications.

While each of the relationships is consensual in theory, the developers chose the most ambiguous characters to develop these storylines with.

We've got Mr. "Oh, is it because we haven't had sex in a while?" former s*x sl*ve Astarion, who's known to drown his trauma in unhealthy coping mechanisms and probably feels guilty for "depriving" his partner of sex during act 2.

Former sharran Shadowheart, whose cult used to push young members to "experiment [with each other]" while ironically considering masturbation a sin.

Literally untouchable Karlach, who allows you to sleep with others for as long as her engine isn't fixed, because she "doesn't want to lose you" – which is obviously not consent and in a perfect world we wouldn't even need to explain that.

It's also worth specifying that the game never clarifies whether your arrangement is a polyamorous relationship (if you also romance Halsin) or an open relationship, but that's probably up to player discretion.

Why is it relevant, you may wonder?

We could argue the characters might be individually attracted to Halsin, which would be true in Shadowheart's case.

For an ex-sharran, an exclusive polyamorous relationship is definitely less on-the-nose than full blown relationship anarchy ; not that there's anything wrong with the latter, whether irl or in a fictional setting, but the case we're talking about is a delicate (and fictional) one.

She also doesn't bat an eye after she catches the MC with Mizora, which – regardless of whether their relationship was already open or not – is clearly disrespectful to their relationship.

Ethical non monogamy requires communication in order to be, well, ethical: sleeping with a demon (and arguably, an enemy to the party) without warning your partner would count as cheating in any universe.

She just gets mildly mad and lets it slide, which is not how you enforce boundaries in this kind of arrangement, leading us to think the cult's beliefs are unfortunately still rooted in her despite her conversion to Selûne.

And of course they would: undoing religious trauma is hard work, and bleaching your hair won't heal it overnight, regardless of what our dear Shadowheart might think.

^ Astarion has an identical reaction, if you wondering.

Many people take issue with this type of take, claming it paints Halsin as disrespectful of other people's relationships and consent.

We are absolutely not saying that: Halsin asks for explicit consent from both the MC and their partner, in order to honour their pre-existing relationship despite his own feelings, which is exactly how it should be.

People can consent to situations they're not emotionally ready to take on, whether they're not right for them in that specific moment of their life or at all.

Furthermore, we're not even necessarily talking about Halsin: the MC has other occasions to live out a non-monogamous arrangement with their partner, such as with the drow twins.

Oh and, speaking about the drow twins, we hope to god you don't think rolling a DC 25 persuasion check on Gale (who explicitly tells you he's monogamous if you try to involve Halsin in your relationship) to get him to sleep with prostitutes is okay.

I sincerely hope whoever romances Gale, perhaps interpreting his former relationship with Mystra as groom*ng (which is a whole other can of worms we're not going to dive into in this post), understands how fucked up and disgusting it is to roll that check on him.

And, funnily enough, the game doesn't even consider it r*pe by coercion! Which it clearly is, to anyone sane and allowed within three feet of schools.

In conclusion, some of the choices Larian made on the portrayal of ethical non-monogamy are questionable, and anyone who enjoys this kind of relationship irl should probably strive for better representation.

Of course we should appreciate that they tried, but the amount of brownie points they're getting isn't nearly as deserved as you might think.

[yandereunsolved]

Kai Anderson & James Patrick March fusion

彡 What would they look like fused?

Name: Benjamin 'Benji' Antero March

Species: Ghoul

Age: late twenties

Sex & Gender: Male & Cisgender

Sexuality: Omnisexual

Height: 5'10"

Eye color: gray

Hair color & style: blue with black roots, medium-length, half bun

Clothes: academia aesthetic— trench coats, button up shirts, dress pants, pocket watch, ascots, suits

Extra attributes: healed scar on his neck, dimples, four arms, chest tattoo of his kill count that goes up everytime he kills someone new, and vitiligo

彡 Who is dominant in the fusion?

• Equally dominant

█████ 50% Kai Anderson

█████ 50% James Patrick March

彡 Personality & Background

Canon Background:

Kai Anderson came to the Cortez after one of his ex-cult members fled to the hotel after betraying him. While killing the ex-cult member in their bed, James appeared before him. They spoke and realized they had similar ideals. James is a serial killer, and Kai is a cult leader. They have their differences when it comes to James's gentlemanly attitude. He is sincere in that fact, and with Kai, it is just a facade. The thing that rests underneath the both of them is unhinged and equally twisted.

They fused because of James manipulation. While fused, they are equally dominant, but James always has a bit of an edge against Kai while de-fused. They fused after killing the family of a wealthy governor who had crossed Kai.

Together, they are Bejamin, or Benji for short. Benji is a serial killer cultist. Kais inner circle of his cult moves into the Cortez, and the rest of his devoted followers live around them or will commit to traveling there for meetings. Benji teaches his inner circle how to kill effectively and how to use the hotel, mostly. If someone were to betray him, he still has enough tricks up his sleeve to rid them from this world.  

He has the hotel Cortez upgraded with new floors and even more intricate traps and killing places. If the Cortez was a murder hotel before, now it's a massacre hotel. Benji constantly has the authorities coming under cover and snooping in his palace of death. They all disappear without a trace of their whereabouts.

Benji rarely defuses. The large milestone he defuses for is Devil's Night. As well as whenever Kai has to do his work and give speeches. 

Kai and James have to share partners. James refuses to allow anyone to fall into Kai's— unrefined ways, and Kai just wants to show James that he is able to steal from his selection of lovers. Kai gets insecure around James, and James exploits that. Apart, they are definitely yanderes, but Benji is like yandere turned up in every single category. Any partner, hookup, or flirt is either deadmeat or his soul mate.

You fall for Benji? You are dating Kai and James as well. You fall for Kai? James and Benji. You fall for James? Well, Kai and Benji. Those are the rules. You have to abide by them, or you are just another body in the never-ending pile.

Personality:

First off, Benji has Kias misogyny and James gentleman-like nature. Benji is a condescending and protective misogynist. In his mind, he doesn't hate women; they aren't below him. They just need to be protected. They just need to be explained to. He just needs to guide them in the right manner. He doesn't need a traditional wife. He just needs a man, woman, non-binary, etc. who will listen.

Definitely a Lawful Evil type. Benji is straight-up vile and evil, but he has his own code. He doesn't kill in other people's territory without their permission. He doesn't let others kill inside his territory, the Cortez, without his permission. He doesn't leave a mess. He doesn't make a sound, but his victims do. His killing style is very much inspired by art, especially religious art. He uses the blood of his enemies for paintings that he hangs in the Cortez. Of course he dilutes the blood enough so that if you test it no blood match will come of it. He loves art galas.

An ENTP, Lawful Evil, cultist, serial killer. Quite a handful. As I said, another rule of his is that you have to listen. That is his most important rule. Those who don't listen, disappear. He doesn't give anyone second chances... except maybe you (reader).

✉ Sidenote: I could also make an original character that could be his lover??? And then I could also write about him with just a reader insert??? OC lover? Yes or no.

Very yandere. Not even gonna lie— possessive, obsessive, meticulous, and manipulative. He's still oddly wholesome on a weird level. This is because of how at odds some of Kais and James characteristics are. He will pull up in a limousine to McDonald's just to order some chicken nuggets. I am talking about him having his nicest clothes on and everything. The next moment he is in the Cortez eating a five star meal with foods you are unable to pronounce the names of.

Since he is a ghoul and part James— he does have to eat human flesh to partly sustain himself. The blood is more of a mere delicacy to him. He keeps blood wines for special occasions. The first time Kai came across this while they were defused he was like... "James wtf-???"

James merely explained that it must have been Benji that did so. James is more experienced with fusing because he has lived longer and fused with a few people. However, Kai has never fused stably with anyone before. James was his first. Kai often complains that James being his first real fusion sounds so gay. He fused with Winter once on accident and they were unstable. So they were only fused for like maybe five to ten minutes. Kai declared that he would never stoop as low as to fuse with a woman again. Yeah, yeah, homophobic Reddit incel— all of the bitches want to fuse with you.

彡 Abilities & Weapons

• Knife proficiency, Gunmanship, Swordsmanship

• Wealth, Intellect, Charisma, Hacking

• Control over the supernatural entities in the Cortez, Ghostly powers (will probably be expanded upon at a future date)

• Leadership skills/Cultist, Master killer

Benji gets very creative with his killing. He only really has one specialized weapon from his fusion. His pocket watch. Ah, ah! Hold on. Do not click off just because I said pocket watch. Stay with me here.

His pocket watch has a secret compartment that he is able to keep a vial of untraceable poison in. One drop is enough to kill an entire country. One vial of it is worth half a billion dollars. So of course when he is serving intimate dinners he will tell Ms. Evers to slip a drop in— just so the dearest guest that he hates with his guts dies mysteriously. (Inspired by when Kai made them drink the kool-aid and it wasn't poisoned. tehe. except now Benji has a vial to poison the 'kool-aid'.)

彡 Dialog(s)

"Hmm? Well, this is new. I can't wait to kill in this new body." - Benji's first words; Kai and James fusing for the first time

"Darling, don't be a slut. Men don't like women that are sluts for everyone. They only like women who are sluts for them." - Benji right before killing his one night stand who was a hooker

"Who says I can't achieve world domination and kill while doing it? I am a very skilled multi-tasker." - To the Countess

"Shut the fuck up! Shut it, just shut up! Can't you do one thing right in your miserable, pathetic little life? One thing. One thing I ask of you and yet you failed!" - To Ms. Evers after she ruined his brand new suit while trying to clean the blood out of it

"Fail again and you will have a second death. Twice as long. Twice as painful. And twice the fun for me." - Benji threatening one of his dead followers after they failed to kill someone for him

"I would be terribly sorry for making you wait. Except, I see no manwich. I kill for you, I satisfy your carnal desires, I give you the greatest and most pure form of love. I provide you all you would ever need and more. Yet, when I ask for a manwich—! You cannot fucking make it. You know, dearie, I absolutely despise people who can't listen. Isn't that all I have ever asked of you? To listen." - Benji speaking to a, now ex and dead, partner of his; referenced below

"Ah, oh, yes. maniacal giggles You are fucked. In both ways." - to a freshly made ex-partner of his

"Are you done playing your little games? Holy water, a salt ring, a set of rosary beads— it's all so thrilling. Your need to resist me. Your attempts to make yourself seem more safe. You are dead, but don't accept it. I want to see the fear in your eyes as the life leaves them." - to a nun before he kills her

"Are you a homosexual? How repulsively tempting." - Benji flirting with a CEO to get his guard down so he is able to hack into his computer and steal all of the CEO's money and secrets

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

✉ a/n: I really tried to successfully combine both of their personalities. I'm afraid that some of Kai's discord kitten energy got drowned out by James's old timey-ness... since they are an equally dominant fusion I tried to mix both of their traits together equally. I was thinking of doing a combination of either Kit & FrankenKyle or Jimmy Darling & FrankenKyle next... or Tate & FrakenKyle. I just love Kyle sm. He's such a sweet baby. Thank you for listening to my rants. Remember that you are important and loved :) And if no one told you today, thank you for being alive 💕.

✉ tags: @bluerthanvelvet444 @lacucarachapisser

[wolveria]

Yeahh... I checked out their blog and oof. They shouldn't be on tumblr

I was talking to my friend about this, as an ex-Mormon I feel like I have a unique insight into anti behavior. Because I totally understand why they think that way. When I was younger, I was once extremely repressed and self-loathing about anything remotely sexual. I didn't start reading smut until I was 30, let alone write it. So I understand the urge to violently reject anything that makes them feel uncomfortable, and I feel sorry for them.

I also have no patience left so I tend to tell them to fuck off and then block them, but I do sincerely hope the day comes soon when they grow past this ugly, self-harming stage. I'm grateful when I was like that, I focused that shame inward, and not at other people. But we also didn't really have internet back then, let alone social media. I can't imagine the kind of shithead I would have been if I had tumblr 30 years ago.

Talking to former antis is a lot like talking to ex-Mormons. There's a lot of similarities. When you're *in it* you don't really see how it warps you, the whole belief system changing who you are as a person. You literally don't hear the batshit things coming out of your mouth, because you're in an echo chamber where it sounds perfectly normal. But when you come out the other side, you wonder how you could have ever been that person. It seems to be a common thread with ex-cult members. It's a bizarre, frightening phenomenon, and I really hate that it's so prevalent on tumblr.

[auspicetaker]

just read the daily beast article about the dissolution of red guards austin and i have some thoughts and feelings

I LITERALLY REMEMBER BEING IN [REDACTED ORG] AND BOTH NERVOUSLY LAUGHING AT AND MOCKING THE PERCEIVED ADVENTURISM AND ULTRALEFTISM OF RED GUARDS WHILE ALSO BEING GENUINELY ENVIOUS OF THEIR PERCEIVED STRUCTURE AND DISCIPLINE .... and holy shit am i glad we didn't get far enough to truly replicate that structure. we tried.

i mean, i definitely lived a slightly less extreme version of what's described in the article - losing out on sleep and sacrificing all of my free time for the organization. but damn am i glad that old school MLs don't do the "public humiliation struggle session" thing as a form of political practice!

something i picked up on in the article is the misogyny - that women in general were called upon to do domestic and behind the scenes work and men were viewed as leaders. even as they tried to, on paper anyway, punish men for slights against women, they replicated the same power dynamics found in mainstream society. no fucking way im soooo shocked. and then this from the very end of the article:

idk i feel really fucking sad when i think about it all. i hate that my only recourse upon leaving the org was to bow out of existing politically or publicly pretty much indefinitely. i hate the jeering spectacle that liberal rags like daily beast make of these cultic orgs and dynamics, it very much feels like "that's what you get for believing in the delusion that communism can ever win, vote blue no matter who". i hate my own passivity and relatively apolitical existence in the wake of my disillusionment with the org which was fucking five years ago. i don't know what political work looks like outside of that framework. im embarrassed that i don't know how to get back there. i believed so sincerely and when i lost that belief i lost hope and i lost innocence and i became unable to trust anyone or anything. fuck! it's a weird grief.

anyway it was objectively pretty funny when they did the pig head stunt even if i can't rly match their fervor against the dsa anymore, that was peak red guards austin, To Me .

i certainly don't blame the ex members for talking about their experiences to the daily beast but reading the coverage reminded me of why i never tried to Sell or Publicize the story of what happened to me and what happened to the org, because i cannot stand the prospect of a bunch of Biden Harris 2024 people clucking their tongues and saying "oh what a shame the Crazy Political Cult is so Dangerous". no matter how much i hate [redacted org] and i hate them a lot I'll never feel comfortable doing that.

[j-graysonlibrary]

Fort Heaven Chapter 31

Title: Fort Heaven

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 69K

Genres: Suspense, investigative, drama, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Some call it a hoax. Others claim it’s a cult. But, to Evon and his friend Yasmine, two online journalists, Fort Heaven is the subject of their latest story. Along for the assignment is cameraman and not-so-secret crush of Evon’s: Russet. With a drunken, murky night in their recent history, things are especially tense between them but, of course, personal matters take a backseat when the interviews start. The trio speaks to ex-members of Fort Heaven and, while some of the accounts are shocking, the job remains just that: A job. That is until one of the women they interviewed, along with her daughter, goes missing. It soon becomes clear that not only is Fort Heaven a real threat but Evon and his friends are being watched. And what started as a simple cash-grab article is now a matter of life and death.

Full chapter 31 under the cut

Chapter 31

It hadn’t taken but a few moments for Simon to notice that Willow had left him. With Nichole on the bed of nails, sinking further down every second and his sole focus being on getting her to admit to what she’d done wrong, he had somehow missed the sound of his daughter-in-law fleeing the building.

When Seth barged in not even five minutes after Simon realized what had happened—his irritation started to legitimately grow.

He’d been suspicious of Willow already. She didn’t belong with them and she knew it—in fact she knew that Simon knew—and he was aware of that. The fact that she ran away from him while he was torturing her best friend was a move he wasn’t expecting though.

“Father, stop it,” Seth spat out as if he had any authority.

Simon gave him a look that let him know how powerless he was. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “Stop what?”

“That girl didn’t even do anything against us. She’s just the child of a heretic—since when did we punish children for their parents’ mistakes?”

“Ever since you decided all of your problems were inherited from me,” his father answered in a cold voice.

Seth reeled back for a second but then shook his head. He needed to focus—he’d promised Willow that he would fix all of this.

“Look—I know you have all these grand ideas but I’m letting this girl go,” he said with a finger pointed at Nichole, “and I’m leaving with Willow. She’s done suffering your ‘tests’.”

The last response he expected was laughter but Simon, still with his arms folded over his chest, threw his head back in a roar of a laugh. A smile remained plastered on his face as he responded. “You really think Willow is some sweet young girl who loves you? Who actually wants to marry you?”

The fire in Seth’s eyes began to dim before it was completely extinguished. “What…?”

“She’s using you. The second you were taken with her was the same second that bitch realized she could manipulate you into getting her as far into our inner sanctum as she could.”

“She doesn’t even care about that stuff! Where are you getting this from?” Seth raised his voice—he was defensive over Willow’s honor but there was always the doubt there. It wasn’t because of Willow in particular but because of all of his past relationships and their inevitable connection to Fort Heaven or his father.

“See this young lady?” Simon asked, gesturing at Nichole who was trying to slow her breaths and focus on anything other than the pain.

“What about her?”

“She and Willow are long time best friends—perhaps even more than that.”

Seth glanced between her and his father. “How do you know that?”

“I put the pieces together—plus Cindy blew Willow’s cover. Nichole here has been good about not letting out any vital information but just by watching her and Willow’s faces when they’re near each other, I can tell. You see…I’m not an idiot,” Simon sighed and walked around to the other side of the table, looking down at Nichole with an almost sincere expression.

She met his eyes and, for the first time since she’d been dragged inside the building, she felt some fight build up inside of her. “You can go straight to hell.”

“We all end up in hell, sweetheart,” Simon responded with a vindictive grin. He looked back up to his son. “See, Seth, none of this ever had anything to do with you. You were just convenient. I mean…you never wondered where Willow came from? Why she was so focused on work and her image? Why she showed up at our recruitment center only days after we took Cindy and Nichole? She couldn’t be more obvious.”

“…You’re wrong.” Seth looked to the floor and closed his eyes. “Willow does care about me. She told me she loved me.”

“Was that before or after she took your phone?”

His eyes snapped to his pocket where he usually kept his cell phone safely tucked away only to find it empty. He’d definitely had it on him all morning yet it was missing now.

“Wha…?”

“She took it. And I would bet that she called police to come raid this place. Which—may I remind you—would have never happened if you weren’t so pathetically desperate for affection.”

Seth’s shoulders fell as reality weighed him down. “What do we do?”

“Leave—obviously.”

It was a difficult decision to make but he nodded.

Simon led the way out and Seth followed behind him, shutting the door and leaving Nichole in the dark. She let out a long exhale and closed her eyes, letting the built up tears flow down the sides of her face.

This was all because Evon, Yasmine, and Russet showed up to her house to talk to her mother—no—she corrected herself—this was all Fort Heaven. They ran her mother out, made her paranoid and permanently messed up. They ruined people’s lives and now her life had been added to the list.

The door opened again, letting a sliver of light come through. Nichole squinted her eyes and tried to glance over though she couldn’t exactly turn to look.

“What the hell?” the sound of Evon whispering made her heart start to race.

“Evon?!”

“Yeah,” the man said with a humorless laugh before appearing in her sights. “How do I get you off of this?”

Nichole sighed. “I don’t know if you can. Not by yourself at least…but you need to get out of here. Simon and Seth both know about Willow and I can guess things are about to get really messy.”

Evon shook his head. “I’m getting you out first.”

He disappeared but only for a second. Yasmine soon joined him while Jackson was left outside on guard duty. Between his strength and Yasmine’s they were able to lift Nichole up and slowly move her away from the table. Once she was on her feet, she stumbled backward but the other two were quick to stabilize her.

“Thank you…”

“No way we could leave you behind,” Yasmine whispered, “not after all you’ve done for us.”

***

Willow stumbled along the outskirts of the encampment with Russet leaning heavily on her. His blood loss was definitely worse than she had first thought and he was getting heavier by the moment, only jolting to full awareness every time he heard a loud noise.

“It should be really soon, okay?” Willow tried reassuring him while his eyes were open.

“Mmm yeah…where is everyone?” He’d asked a few times already and Willow was starting to worry about the condition of his brain.

“We’ll get to them in just a few seconds I’m sure.”

Just as the words left her, both of their heads snapped up when gunshots were fired. She quickly moved them closer to a building for cover and tried to see if she could spot the commotion.

A larger than normal group of prisoners started to gravitate toward the southern area and a second gunshot was fired. The people didn’t scatter like Willow would have figured and, instead, started to rush closer. Her brow furrowed as she continued to lead Russet closer.

The screams that ripped through the air weren’t of pain or agony but of anger. It hit her like a ton of bricks—the prisoners were revolting. She let a small smile creep up on her lips. There was no better time for this kind of chaos.

As they made it toward the center of the action, Willow started to look around avidly for their friends. The guards being attacked yelled out for help but she averted her gaze—finally seeing Nichole from across the clearing. She didn’t look too great but she hadn’t expected much different given the condition she’d left her in. Evon and Yasmine were on either side of her, helping her just as she was supporting Russet. Behind them was Jackson and the rioting was clearly getting to him.

Willow took herself and Russet as close to the middle as she could and the other half of the group met her. Nichole was exhausted but happy to see her best friend nonetheless. Yasmine’s eyes became clouded with tears at the condition Russet was in while Evon let go of Nichole’s side in favor of embracing the bloodied man.

His arms wrapped around his back with his heels digging into the ground to anchor both of their weights. He buried his face into the crook of Russet’s neck while the half-conscious Russet slowly embraced him back.

He hadn’t thought—for a moment after being dragged to the central building—that he’d ever get to see Evon again. The feeling of having him in his arms made his cloudy head wonder if he was really just dying and imaging the entire thing.

“I’m so glad you’re alive…” Evon sobbed—completely unable to contain himself. Yasmine placed a hand on her friend’s back, avoiding the lacerations, and gave him a comforting rub.

Willow felt the weight lift off of her chest at seeing them all together and having Nichole within her sights at the same time. All she needed was a miracle to bring the police upon the place in the next few seconds.

Another gun fired into the air but this one sounded closer. Once the shock of the loud sound left Willow, she was relieved to notice that no one had been shot.

Until she saw where Jackson had ended up.

The man, barely able to stay on his knees, was keeping a guard down on the ground and had pulled the gun from his hand. His entire right shoulder was rapidly turning a dark red color as blood gushed out of the bullet wound. That fact didn’t stop him from punching the guard in the face repeatedly before hitting him with the butt of his gun.

Yasmine had to hug onto the back of him to get him to stop. She whispered into his ear and started to rock with him as the realization started to sink in. Jackson sobbed and grabbed onto his shoulder in something between shock and horror.

His hand, covered in fresh, dark blood, suddenly became illuminated by the flashing lights of a dozen police cars and ambulances.

Willow let out a deep sigh of relief when the uniformed men and women started to exit their vehicles and rush forward and into the camp. Some started to cut open the fence while others kept their guns out and ready to shoot.

Many of the prisoners instinctively put their hands up and a couple of officers—accompanied by the team from one of the ambulances—started to bring them out and into their cars. The area cleared out fast and it didn’t take much longer before their group was being escorted out.

Jackson was immediately taken into an ambulance where Yasmine followed. The EMT encouraged all of them to ride along since they lacked room on the other trucks but Willow was only half listening.

As her friends stepped into the ambulance, her attention went back to the main building of the camp. There was no doubt that people were still in there. That Simon and Seth were still close by at least. And she had important documents and her jump drive full off undercover footage in her room.

The police would seize it for sure if she didn’t get to it and, while she trusted their judgment, she also didn’t spend the last several months collecting that footage for them to have it.

“Come on, there’s some room,” Nichole said and extended her hand out to Willow.

She looked to her best friend before slowly shaking her head. “I still have something to do.”

“What?!” Nichole shouted, “Willow!”

There wasn’t much else she could say since the woman turned and started to run back into the camp. She heard all of them calling after her—even the EMTs—but she didn’t look back.

“What is she doing…?” Yasmine asked in a whisper as she watched her disappear into the distance.

“I have no idea,” Evon answered, not looking at anyone other than Russet who had fallen asleep since the IV had been stuck into his arm.

“We’ve got to go,” The EMT closest to the doors spoke yet wore an expression of reluctance.

“We can’t wait for her?” Nichole questioned with desperation clear in her voice.

“If we don’t hurry, we could lose one of them,” she finalized with a look to Jackson and Russet.

No one looked at each other but they all had the same expression. The two men needed medical attention as soon as possible and there was nothing they could do to change that.

They had to leave Willow behind.

[gatheringbones]

trans baker upon whom my crush has faded into a sincere and glowing fondness has befriended the ex cult member divorcée coworker who is thrilled beyond measure that she can tell her stories to a polite and attentive and nonjudgmental audience

[jacobjingle]

@the-davest-of-uncles I’d imagine the fact that you jump from “deprogram a cult member” to “gulag” immediately is because that’s what you’d do. What do you think deprogramming folks in a cult looks like most of the time? Have you ever bothered to read what, say, an ex-Quiverful member goes through? That’s formal deprogramming and it’s not a gulag, ya drama queen.

And I’m not even gonna touch the silly Godwin’s Law attempt there @spritisongblues. That’s just too silly. If you authentically believe that, you really need to go outside more, and I mean that sincerely.

[citoyenneangele]

A really existing Enjolras and the Republic - Documentation of a research

So a few days ago I found an interesting article about a historical figure whose name is Enjolras.

The blog on which I found it is rather dubious, as it is declared counterrevolutionary and its main purpose seems to be blaming the Republic for all possible injustices happening at the end of the 18th century. The article itself however does not reflect this at all, which makes me think that is just a plagiate of the article cited at the bottom, i.e. A. MAZON - Revue historique, archéologique, littéraire et pittoresque du Vivarais - 15 janvier 1893.

However I can’t check this, because there is no (other) copy of this article available.

I thus shall report the most important information I retrieved from that article.

Jean-Claude Enjolras-Laprade, ex-priest, justice of the peace (1758-1828)

 First of all I have to admit that I am not an expert in history of the French Revolution or anything similar to that, so there might be inadecuacies.

The first thing the article mentions is that little is known about his youth. After becoming a priest he was a teacher at the collège d’Aubenas.

When the revolution happened it was decided that the churchmen who didn’t take the oath as prescribed by the National Assembly in 1791. As the only one of the churchmen Enjolras took the oath thus declaring his loyality to the nation, the law and the king (who was still in power at the time) and to maintain with all his power the constitution declared by the National Assembly and accepted by the king. As a recompension he was ordained constitutional priest of Aubenas (whatever that is, probably some religious function). And contemporarily he was also member of the general council of the municipality.

He stayed the consitutional priest of Aubenas until the closure of the churches in January 1793.

When he renounced at his functions he signed the following declaration:

In a free government, there does not have to be any privilege. The freedom of cultes was proclaimed to the big satisfaction of the French republicans. This law would not reach its goal, if there was a dominant religion by law and by fact. However, there exists one, by law and by fact: the catholic religion. It has a public cult, its ministers are salaried : what has to be for everone or for no one. I give an example of a submission to the law; I abandon the treatment that the nation has given me in quality of priest of Aubenas, and I renounce moreover on the public functions as a priest.

In 1794 Enjolras was arrested two times, and remained in prison for almost the entire year. He is accused of intrigues, but in a letter to a friend whom he asks for help and who seems to have some public function he says that he himself is the victime of intrigues. He describes a state of violence for which he blames the fanatics and the aristocrats. He calls this people newly converted, and pretending to be sincere and true Republicans while suppressing those who really are upholding these principles since the beginning or even before. He tells how four professors of the collège have been discharged and replaced by incompetent men without moral.

The few of republicans that remain, seing what happened to those who have directed thim all the time of the Revolution, were intimidated and reduced to silence

[The newly converted presented] as intrigants all those who have made the revolution in the Ardèche and have sustained the true principles in times of crisis. [They successfully convinced others that they] are true and sincere republicans. [Guyardin] did not think that they could have wanted to prevent the national guard from marching to Lyon, nor to pervert the public spirit by the  aristocratic wordings [...]. What was clear is that all that was patriot in Villeneuve, Privas, Aubenas and elsewhere was presented to him as  instigator of trouble and propagator of anarchy. The patriots have been witnesses to all of this, they suffered it and they didn’t dare to say a word.

I dared to advance that I didn’t believe that the aristocrats of 1790, the fanatics of 1791, the federalists of August and September 1793 were true and sincere republicans only two months later.

How this whole affair developed and why he was set free again and when or how, this articles does not mention. It only says that in his memoirs he stated that afterwards he stayed unemployed relying on family until 1796, and that from that year on he fulfilled his function as a justice of the peace in Coucouron until 1810.

Whereas in another article I learned that the main task of a justice of the peace at the time were to solve problems concerning the family (heritage, children out of marriage, child custody...), disputes between neighbours, debts and similar question, with limited penal powers, this one seems to have been occupied primarily with the repression of violent counterrevolutionary and criminal action, which was very intense in that region.

The article contains very detailed descriptions  of both his attempts of reestablishing order in the region, lack in support from the authorities, as well as violent reprisal against him and his family because of these involvements. He also describes that his brother and his wife, who lived at the same place as he, died as a consequence of this kind of violence leaving behind six children aged between 15 years and 18 months.

He recruited spies and was always prepared to monitor the ways where the counterrevolutinaries could pass and often he would set himself at the head of the national guards to chase the robbers or to purge the woods that had become national of a crowd of marauders that had no scruples in stealing from wood that they considered as stolen from them by the government.

His overzeal in repressing counterrevolutionary activities has made its way into the local tradition according to which it was enough to people who were suspected of coldness towards the institutions of the time to be caught with an arm to be shot by order of the terrible justice of the peace. But the author of the article is convinced that this might be an exageration.

There is a huge contrast between the harsh persecution of the counterrevolutionaries by Enjolras and his attitude towards prosecuted priests. Here he is reported to have looked away on purpose when confronted with illegal church activities. This shows that despite having renounced to his public religious functions, he still considered himself a priest and he also didn’t renounce his catholic faith

Because of his clear political stance he was marginalized by the Restauration authorities and, because of his overzeal in the persecution of counterrevolutionaries he probably also didn’t have the best reputation among the population. The clergy didn’t like him because he renounced at his religious function (which they considered an apostasy). He wasn’t even in good terms with his own family because of his avarice and his harassing spirit. One of his relatives even was suspected to be responsable for his death in 1828, but was acquitted owing to lack of evidence.

Sadly this article about him was the only information I could get about this Enjolras, which is fragmentary, but based on sources written by himself. What I can say after reading it is that the experiences as they were described by Enjolras himself and contextualized in the articles fit well in the picture I got from @pilferingapples post about the reasons why Hugo placed the origin of the Amis in the Midi. I now have a very concrete example of how this environment could have looked like at just 10 years before our Enjolras was born, and I could imagine that Hugos Enjolras, was he a actually living person, could well be somehow related to the Enjolras described in the article, and grown up with family histories of that kind, also considering that this Enjolras himself actually lived until 1828.

[aion-rsa]

Lance Henriksen on His Career: ‘Every Job I’ve Ever Gotten Was a Gift’

https://ift.tt/39QbXna

Lance Henriksen has been one of the screen’s most distinctive character actors and overall badasses for going on 50 years. A genuine working actor who always seems to be showing up in a film or TV show, the New York-born Henriksen’s early film career featured small roles in some of the most iconic films of the 1970s, including Dog Day Afternoon, Network and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Even though his long and varied run on the big and small screen was just getting underway, he managed to work with directors like Sidney Lumet and Steven Spielberg.

He also didn’t have a clue at the time that those films would endure decades later as classics of their era.

“I had no idea,” he says while speaking to us on the phone about his latest film, Falling. “I was just grateful to have a job and do my best and try. It was a gift. Every job I’ve ever gotten, I feel it was a gift. I don’t make any bones about that. It’s just a lot of luck.”

Now at the age of 80, Henriksen is a statesman of cinema in Falling, Viggo Mortensen’s directorial debut. However, the older actor wasn’t always sure luck was going to come his come his way. His father was a merchant sailor who was away at sea most of the time. His mother, who worked as a dance instructor, a model, and a waitress, divorced Henriksen’s father when her son was just two and struggled to raise both Lance and his brother on her own. Stints in foster care and abuse at the hands of other family members followed, with Henriksen out of school after first grade and out of his home for good at 12. He didn’t learn to read until he was nearly 30 years old.

It was around that time that he began working in theater, first in set design and then eventually on the sets themselves as an actor. His first film appearance came in 1972, in the long-forgotten It Ain’t Easy for director (and future Star Trek: The Next Generation producer/writer) Maurice Hurley. Three years later, he was an FBI agent in Lumet’s Dog Day Afternoon, which got him a call from Spielberg, the red-hot young director of Jaws who was then prepping his alien contact epic, Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

In that film, Henriksen played one of the many scientists and technicians on hand for the arrival of the alien mothership and its crew.

“[Spielberg] was getting ready to shoot the mothership leaving, with all the little creatures and all the astronauts going up onto the machine,” the actor recalls now. “And I ran over and said, ‘Hey, listen, Steven, I’ve got an idea. What if I take my coat, throw it over one of these little creatures, and run into the Porta-Potties with it, so we’ve got proof, because this thing’s going to take off and disappear.’ And he looked at me and goes, ‘Lance, listen to me, that’s a different movie.’”

Following that mid-1970s run, which also included the 1978 horror sequel, Damien: Omen II, and the truly bonkers sci-fi cult film The Visitor, with John Huston and Glenn Ford, Henriksen wouldn’t see his next big break until 1982. That’s when a first-time director named James Cameron cast him in Piranha 2: The Spawning, which Cameron was shooting for exploitation producer Ovidio G. Assonitis.

“I like Jim,” says Henriksen of the man who would later go on to make game-changing, record-breaking blockbusters like Titanic and Avatar. “I met him on Piranha 2. Neither one of us liked that movie, but we did it. We had to do that movie. We weren’t supported very much by the producers…And then when the movie was done, we all went home and I remember they fired Jim the last day of shooting so that they could edit and control the movie.”

According to Henriksen, the producers of Piranha 2 took the film out of Cameron’s hands and presented their own edit to distributor Columbia Pictures, which rejected it.

Says Henriksen, “Jim took the same footage that they showed Columbia. He re-edited it and brought it back to [the studio]. And that’s the cut that released. It’s a great story. I hope it’s true.”

Cameron cast Henriksen in his next two movies, both of which turned into sci-fi/action classics: 1984’s The Terminator and 1986’s Aliens. It was in the latter film that Henriksen created the first of several iconic performances by playing the enigmatic and ultimately heroic android Bishop. Other 1980s standouts for Henriksen included Prince of the City, The Right Stuff, and Jagged Edge, while the latter half of that decade yielded lead roles in two horror cult classics, Pumpkinhead and Near Dark.

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Although Henriksen continued to work steadily in movies throughout the 1990s, 2000s and 2010s, it was a TV show that yielded perhaps his most famous character after Bishop: ex-FBI profiler and serial killer hunter Frank Black in creator Chris Carter’s nightmarish thriller series Millennium. The series was Carter’s follow-up to The X-Files and it ran for three seasons and 67 episodes on Fox from 1996 to 1999.

“I think the thing that I admired the most was when I was offered the role, I didn’t right away know it was television,” says Henriksen, who also admits that the show’s oppressive nature and the tormented psyche of his character wore on him during its three-year run. “I got to a restaurant with Chris Carter and the director. I said, ‘Let me ask you something. This is so dark. A lot of serial killers. A lot of bad people. Where’s the light going to come from?’ And all Chris Carter said to me was, ‘The yellow house.’ And then I got it right away. It was about [Black’s] family and I agreed to do it.”

Henriksen adds, “Occasionally it sucked me in,” referring to Millennium’s relentlessly grim atmosphere. “But it was a tough show. It wasn’t an easy one. It was also kind of a groundbreaker at the time, I think.” Henriksen has been quoted as saying that it took him “a year” to get out of the head of Frank Black after the show was cancelled, and has often noted that he finds it difficult to detach himself from a character after the project has finished shooting.

When it came to Falling, Henriksen says he was actually leery at first of playing Willis Peterson, the conservative and homophobic father of a middle-aged gay man named John (Mortensen, who also wrote and scored the movie). Nearing the end of his life, perpetually angry and having pushed two wives and his children away from him, Willis is perhaps the most complex role of Henriksen’s career but one which he says was exhausting to play.

“I have to tell you the minute we were wrapped and we finished the movie, I said, ‘Viggo, I’m going to disappear for a while. I got to get myself back,’” Henriksen explains. “I was a little afraid to do it. I got so deep into some of it that I got a little afraid that I’m going to get a form of Alzheimer’s of some kind–I won’t be able to shake it. But I was able to shake it. But anyway, it was intense. It really was, the stakes were very high. And we had a short time to do it. We shot it in five weeks.”

Henriksen’s relationship with Mortensen–best known to genre fans as Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings–stretches back to the 2008 Western Appaloosa, in which both men starred alongside Ed Harris. “We both love Westerns and we all enjoyed it,” says Henriksen of his first collaboration with Mortensen. “All three of us: Ed loves Westerns. He knows how to ride, he knows how to do it. It was nice to meet Viggo. He’s as good a guy as I’ve ever met. I liked him right away, really good guy.”

Nevertheless, Henriksen–a graduate of the Actors Studio and a practitioner of method acting–still wasn’t sure he wanted to play Willis when Mortensen sent him the Falling script. “It scared me,” he admits. “He said, ‘Would you do it?’ I said, ‘Sure, I’m scared, but I’ll do it.’ And then we lost the original backing and it took two years to finally get new backing, and he said, ‘You still want to do it?’ And I went, ‘Yeah.’ And he goes, ‘That didn’t sound very enthusiastic, Lance.’ I said to him, ‘The truth is, I’m going to have to visit some real dark places from my youth, my childhood, all of that, and I’m nervous.’”

In Falling, John brings Willis home to Los Angeles with him to stay with his family, including husband Eric (Terry Chen) and their adopted daughter Monica (Gabby Velis) while they look for a new home for Willis closer to John and his sister Sarah (Laura Linney). But Willis is resolutely against leaving his rural farm in heartland America, determined to stick to his sheltered lifestyle even as the onset of dementia begins to blur the past and the present in his mind.

Despite his anxiety about delving into Willis’ tortured, embittered psyche, Henriksen now imparts that participating in the film became an instant highlight of his career. “It was the best experience I’ve ever had as an actor,” he says. “The support to do it and [Mortensen’s] appreciation level and all of those things were everything that I hoped for… I have nothing but gratitude. This is maybe the best role I’ve gotten in my lifetime. I really think that.”

Those are strong words coming from an actor who has appeared in many of the definitive films of the last five decades, but Falling may well feature some of the most emotionally raw work he’s done during his lifetime in the business. “I’m grateful to be an actor,” Lance Henriksen says with sincerity. “I’m an apprentice to every new subject. It’s been my education. I’m a lucky guy, I really am.”

Falling is out in theaters, on digital, and on demand now.

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The post Lance Henriksen on His Career: ‘Every Job I’ve Ever Gotten Was a Gift’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3trcmEt

[some-jw-things]

lmao did you see that the midweek meeting this week has a whole part about converting blind people. ““Search out” the blind. Do you know someone who has a blind family member?” “Show personal interest. Your genuine friendliness and sincere interest will help put a blind person at ease. Try to start a conversation on a subject of local interest.” they literally talk as if blind people are a whole other species

That’s.... weird, to say the least. In the past I’ve only seen them tell members to specifically seek out those in their community who are going through it/speak a minority language. Them targeting disabled people definitely isn’t surprising but it is concerning.

Also them specifically singling out blind people means they’re going to try to get personal information on any local blind people in advance and then show up at their house prepared with a bunch of audio material and lovebomb them. Knowing Witnesses, they’d dive right in with the “end of all suffering” angle. Could you imagine someone showing up at your house, already knowing your name, already knowing you’re blind, and then telling you God could fix that if you just joined their doomsday cult?

Like Witnesses have shown over and over that they have no boundaries about violating privacy to preach (ex. obituary witnessing, ignoring posted signs, “reaching out” to people who faded or got df’d) but this really seems over the line

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

how would the papas and copia look after a bitter ex-christian who just joined their satanic cult? (bc being a bitter ex-christian, i only realize in retrospect how much i was punished and silenced for thinking for myself and not being able to measure up to some... rather abusive standards)

I’m sorry you were in such a toxic environment! :(

While it does go unspoken that this will not be a jab at the religion as a whole- I’ll go ahead and focus on a reader insert that has been in a very poor and unwelcoming religious environment. 

Hope this can bring you some comfort! 

Papa Nihil: Papa has, unfortunately, seen this far too often. Churches and families that twist their beliefs in order to shame and punish their own. But it’s different in their own clergy. Where they embrace sin and the individual. Where you are taught to take pride in yourself and say no to self righteous hypocrisy. Papa makes sure to have you attend the sermons and make sure you are comfortable. He might be Grand Papa, but he still looks after his flock. 

Papa I: The hypocrisies of religion are harmful and he regrets seeing another victim to it. Papa welcomes you with open arms and assures you that, in the eyes of the Olde One, you will be protected and loved. Come, he will take you away from all the back handed teachings. It’s time to baptize you to a more fair and open faith. Papa especially likes to take new members under his wing when they come from poor religious upbringing. It’s like saving them from all the harm they were forced to deal with. 

Papa II: Tells you you have made the best choice coming over to their Church. Unlike the abusive and ignorant fools who harmed you, The Olde One is more kind. He would encourage you to throw everything you have been taught prior out the window. Now is the time for a new, authentic you. A you who will not be punished, and will be cherished. A you who will now flourish under the guidance of His Infernal Majesty! And finally, you who will NEVER be punished for it again. 

Papa III: Papa likes to emphasize how laid back and welcoming their Clergy is. How they revel in individual identity, how natural sin is, and how no one should be punished for their gifts. Satan gives you the gift of freedom, the freedom to speak your mind and be yourself. He would want to make sure you slowly became more open and not be afraid to be yourself. It takes a while to work past how conditioned you are to think you will be punished. Papa is more than happy to guide you into being a happier, more true version of yourself! 

Cardinal Copia: It always irritates Copia to hear how poorly new members have been treated before. First he would welcome you very sincerely and openly. Secondly, he would assure you that they aren’t a cult. They are like any other faith. Save here in the clergy, you won’t be punished for make believe transgressions. Copia himself likes to give explanations on how the clergy operates and how you will be treated. Emphasizing how your individuality and openness should be PRAISED! Not punished. He’s always eager to show you how open their faith really is. 

[robotslenderman]

OK, let's try this again, hopefully tumblr won't eat this post this time.

@orodrethsgeek asked for 6 for Mehra, 13 for Haven, 25 for Rowan. Like, six weeks ago.

6. Does your oc have a family of origin? How many members of their FoO are still living? Do they have a good relationship? How much contact does your oc have with their FoO? How in-the-loop is your oc’s FoO about your oc’s being Dragonborn/HoK/Nerevarine?

Mehra was born as the only child of a high up Morag Tong assassin who'd had a fling with an Urshilaku trader. The Urshilaku trader, Anasour, would go on to marry and have four more children, but Brelyna Sadri, Mehra’s mother, only had her.

After Mehra was exiled, she lost contact with her entire family, including the Urshilaku. She was encouraged by her mother to go to the Dark Brotherhood, as Brelyna was a closeted Mephala worshipper and believed the Night Mother was just another face of her. She didn't tell the other Sadris in the Tong that, but they were all expecting Mehra to end up there anyway - where else would a washed up ex-Tong assassin go? After a while they even came to the conclusion Mehra was pretty highly ranked - when Mehra was pregnant with Evalsea, she spent the last month of the pregnancy with her family of origin before passing the child on to them (although I think Ashur ended up adopting the child and raising her as a single father, with Brelyna being her grandmother), and due to a couple of hints she and Elam unwittingly dropped during the visit the family realised she was pretty important in there.

They never did realise she was the Listener, though her mother did wonder...

13. Does your oc have any particular rivalry or mutual dislike with any NPC?

Haven is pretty chilled out and laid back. Even people who hate her guts don’t tend to really bother her, with the exception of the Tribunal -- she pines after all of them.

Mankar Camoran, who helped Mehrunes Dagon during Oblivion, is probably the closest she got to actually disliking someone, but she mostly found him irritating in a “why the fuck would you do this” kind of way.

25.  If your oc is part of one of the more morally questionable or outright evil factions, how do they justify it to themselves? Do they still consider themselves as morally good? How well known is their affiliation to these groups? Do they have separate personas (e.g. Dragonborn to some people, Listener to others)? Do their family/friends know? If they have separate personas, how do they keep their less than righteous activities secret?

Hooo boy, Rowan is a fun person for this question!

Rowan does not consider herself an evil person at all for associating with Mannimarco and the Worm Cult. The way she sees it, she would be evil if she didn’t -- she takes herself very seriously as a doctor, and her highest moral principle states that everyone has the right to medical care. If Hitler was dying on the floor and she was the only person capable of helping and he’d killed her entire family, she would save his life, that’s how strongly she feels about it. She has a moral imperative to treat everyone and anyone regardless of who they are and what they’ve done, and she would be evil if she didn’t. Because one day, what if a doctor believed someone was evil and turned out to be wrong? Better to save a hundred guilty people than mistakenly let an innocent die.

She joined the Worm Cult because she wanted to further her own independent research on the mortal body, and the subtle differences between different types of mer and humans in order to be a better doctor. She did not consider herself evil for this. If anything, she had courage to join the “evil” people in order to further her noble agenda. She’s been pretty open with the Worm Cult that she was there to do her own research, not to become a necromancer, and anything she picked up on necromancy was mostly incidental.

Her association with the Worm Cult is widely known among people who know her, though she’s not famous enough that the average person comes to hear her name for a couple of decades post-Soulburst, and by then her reputation is “approachable person who has connections to Mannimarco”. Nobody really knows anything about her, so this results in a lot of creepy people approaching her and scaring the shit out of her.

She is widely considered either evil or neutral by both the Worm Cult, the Mages Guild and the Psijics. The Worm Cult mostly view her as neutral -- if Mannimarco seems fine with her, then they’re fine with her. She has friends in the Mages Guild, well, okay, that’s fine -- some of them are still connected to their own friends and family, who are they to judge?

The Mages Guild either view her as evil and only tolerate her, or as neutral, depending on the mage in question. She’s never treated the Mages Guild as an enemy, so Vanus has paid her the same consideration and has decided to take a “keep your enemies closer” attitude towards her and considers her a friend, and the feeling is mutual. Friends of Vanus are baffled by their friendship (which Vanus also is, to be honest) and consider her neutral, but tolerate her grudgingly. Vanus’s enemies consider his friendship with her the stupidest mistake ever and treat her like an enemy lying in wait to fuck Vanus and the Mages Guild up whenever Mannimarco decides he wants her to.

The Psijics view her neutrally. They’re neutral in all their own dealings with Nirn, after all, and Rowan is the daughter of one of their own and niece of another, and also the niece of their Ritemaster post-Summerset, so they’re generally content to live and let live more than the Mages Guild. They won’t tolerate Mannimarco showing up on Artaeum, but that’s a security thing, not a personal grudge thing. When Rowan eventually has a daughter, they take an “it takes a village to raise a child” mentality and raise her on Artaeum together -- although for some Psijics, a lot of it is taking a leaf out of Vanus’s book, and keeping a close eye on the child in case she winds up like her father. (Much to the amusement of some and horror of others, she does.)

Eilonwy also knows about her daughter’s association with the Worm Cult. She sorta winced when she heard about it, tried to talk her out of it, but ultimately went “well, if you’re sure...” The closer Rowan got to Mannimarco, the more she cringed and insisted on keeping the Psijics in the loop in case they had to stage an intervention. Eilonwy and Mannimarco don’t like each other one bit, but eventually it becomes a weird case of “vitriolic best buds” instead of sincere hatred.

Eilonwy also thinks her daughter is an idiot for being so open about being in the Worm Cult, because one day someone’s going to try and stab her as a matter of principle, and Rowan is an actual pacifist who’d probably let them. This is the one thing she agrees with Mannimarco on, because he also thinks she is stupid AF when it comes to this and he also believes that Rowan is Too Dumb to Live.

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Personal Reflections – from Don, Domino and Frank

‘Often people make major decisions based upon dreams or visions that they later regret.'    WIOTM

Don Diligent: For a person to have to accept the cold fact, that the “Messiah” is no longer the “Messiah”, based upon new information that was not available at the time of one’s “conversion”, is truly a tragic moment in one’s life.

I too, like Doris Orme & Phillip Burley, had my own experience that I thought was coming directly from God which led me to accepting Sun Myung Moon as the Messiah. At the time of my conversion, I was actually looking for the Second Coming of Christ.

What I should have done at the time, which never occurred to me, was to employ the advice from the Bible that says, “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

This is a very important verse for many of us to digest. For once coming to the realization that Sun Myung Moon is not the Second Coming of Christ, we need a way to put things into proper perspective which this Bible verse helps us to do.

We all need to be patient with ourselves as we go through this awakening process of who Sun Myung Moon is in reality. As part of my own process, for the last four years plus, I have become dedicated to researching the history of the Moon organization...

Good luck to us all in our process towards fulfillment and happiness in our lives. Life after Mr. Moon has many things waiting for us if we just keep looking ahead with hope.

Sincerely,

Domino: I think that in my case, and I believe it is also the case for many others, I have allowed my own visions and core values to be linked with the Unification Church / Family Federation for World Peace and Unification as it presented itself initially, with seemingly tolerant and open views about the world and religions, as its name implies.

Though in reality I had to put aside all my beliefs, including doubts – they were considered Satanic and a hindrance to spiritual growth.

As John H. points out in his recent posts, a black and white view of the world followed, and we were made to either accept the whole package, or leave, with the undertones of an apocalyptic urgency and personal failure if one would dare to actually leave.

I don’t think like Robert Maynard (answering to Frank F.) that you can differentiate the movement, its views and Moon. I think it’s the same package all along, even if Moon may have borrowed other’s ideas to make them his own. But eventually Moon and the whole system of beliefs were intertwined, including the “Korean centered” view of history, status and Kingdom of God.

As we now face more and more evidence of the fallacies surrounding the beliefs and integrity of Moon himself, we (well, it’s my view) are left to review ourselves and recover, or restructure our sense of self and core values.

Some still believe in God or even another Moon’s sect (Sanctuary or one of the others) ; some have joined Christian faiths; some remained happily married, yet with lingering doubts about the origins and true purpose behind building the church (political agenda, CIA conspiracy, etc.).

And some, like me, are now agnostic with skeptical views about most organized religions. I still, however, hold a sense of hope and a desire to live a moral (ethical) and fullfilling life.

The ‘what if’ thought pattern of the Divine Principle, so often mentioned, such as ‘what if Jesus would have been accepted by the Jews?’ and later on, ‘what if Moon was accepted by the American congress?’ has now at last faded from my mind – to be replaced by ‘what would I have done during the main decades of my youth, my twenties and thirties and late forties?’

I am still working on my dreams and am happy for having regained my freedom of thought, even the freedom to learn from my mistakes.

“It’s never too late to be who you might have been”  George Elliott

Frank F.:

One of the things that repelled me about Moon very early on was his capacity to judge others harshly. Sometimes even in very personal terms. “You are a failure!!!!” When we become parents, we quickly learn that this type of language has the opposite effect that we desire for our beloved children. ...

Reform versus Retribution

To Robert Maynard,

Everybody who leaves the UC / FFWPU goes through a period of mourning because of the investment that we all made. Then comes the resentment as we become aware of the depth of the betrayal. Then comes the activist stage depending on who we are. I struggled so hard through my marriage that I don’t believe I fully processed all the stages of recovery. In the end, my wife decided on her own to reject the Mooniverse and it was mainly due to their own folly.

The point is that everybody goes through their own process of development and nobody is more aware of this particular process than the perpetrators of cults. If I was ever to advocate for a reform platform, I would suggest that local members demand control of local assets and formulate their own initiatives. Historically Moon was absolutely against any form of decentralized control and railed against “American individualism” at every opportunity. I believe that his wife and progeny harbor the same sentiments so it will probably get ugly. Judging from the way that they handled highly placed whistle blowers recently and the official response of the appointed American leadership, they appear to have anticipated such a scenario. I don’t mean to discourage you though. The public debate is very important and I wish there was a way to engage the remaining members. However, if Mark Bramwell’s post is any indication, they are not flexible enough even to consider the flaws of their leadership and the theology.

––––––––––––––––

http://whatisonthemoon.tumblr.com/post/180903064857/re-the-remnant

Thanks Robert, for the thoughtful post and I appreciate your choice of Prophet Isaiah in this case. Keep in mind that Isaiah was one of the righteous Prophets that was executed by the King of the Israelites. He did what he could to guide the “stiff necked Jews” to God and is respected by all for his wisdom. He is also reputed to have prophesied to Jesus Christ and Mohammed.

However, Rev. Moon wasn’t a prophet or even a reliable religious leader. He was a charlatan first and then a businessman. Cheon Il Guk isn’t a nation but is at best another Korean chaebol and a rather shabby one at that. 

One of Kook Jin Moon’s solutions to the liabilities of the Japanese church was to effectively bankrupt them by moving assets offshore and allow them to go into debt. 

There is zero accountability at the top of this organization and the members (the remnants), need to understand that. Thanks to people like you, they are starting to wake up. The next step is to motivate them to take initiative on the local level to organize and take control of local church assets. I think a good example exists in the Oakland area where they have cultivated a separate identity and a leadership council. What is the identity of your local church representatives? This is the problem. If they do not identify with FFWPU (Hak Ja Han) or Hyun Jin Preston Moon or Hyung Jin Sean Moon, they are effectively ex-members, which means they have rescinded any claim to the church “remnants”. I believe all three factions favor and even encourage that arrangement.

This is where it gets tricky because there are thousands of former moonies that invested their precious lives, then walked away, or graduated when they realized it was a fraud. Legally they have no claim to make because they no longer identify with the movement or its stated goals. 

One of the challenges that people in your position have is how to define the belief set of your group above and beyond rebels… or protestants. “We believe in the eloquence and vision of the false prophet but not what he does in reality.” That is a start but it needs more work...

Frank Frivilous

Korean Bone Rank System – Moon gave the church businesses to his blood relatives

Sun Myung Moon used dreams to manipulate those around him

The six ‘wives’ of Sun Myung Moon

Sun Myung Moon – Restoration through Incest

United States Congressional investigation of Moon’s organization

[undomielregina]

I actually haven’t been doing a lot of discourse reblogging, but I also know and have talked to ex-antis about the whole phenomenon and what it was like inside it, and I’ve picked up a few ideas about what’s actually going on.

First, these are people expressing genuine pain. It’s just usually not pain directly caused by whatever they’re reacting to, it’s pain and sometimes serious trauma, and lashing out at anything that reminds them of it helps them feel in control. In addition, these groups actively discourage actual healing, because healing becomes seen as a capitulation to the oppressive dynamics of the rest of society. If you don’t stay hurt and angry, you’re no longer reacting appropriately to the oppression you face. And anything that hurts you by touching on your trauma is an act of oppression in and of itself. And because the group is “doing something about it” by fighting back against the causes of that pain, it’s the only safe place in the entire world.

But there are a bunch of problems with that, one of which is that it’s obviously a cult dynamic that demands groupthink. If you disagree that something is harmful, you’ve turned yourself into an Unsafe Person who has to be cast out to preserve the safety of the group. Another is that rejection of healing: these groups actually help keep their members in a heightened state of trauma rather than encouraging any kind of healing. Those two dynamics make them acutely damaging to the people in them.

From the outside, though, the biggest problem is actually that, because anything that hurts them is an act of oppression and must be resisted as such, these groups are utterly incapable of acknowledging competing needs. Competing needs are a thorn in the side of anti-oppression work in general, in my experience, because they mean that no one space or work can be safe for all people. This is also why it’s impossible to create a work that everyone will acknowledge as Certified Not Oppressive. Different people in need different things from representation, and there’s always going to be someone out there who looks at your wish fulfillment character and sees a reproduction of oppressive dynamics or tropes in exactly the parts you love most.

But when you get multiple groups of traumatized people, all of whom are desperate to find work that speaks to them, and those groups themselves have competing needs and a culture that valorizes going on the attack when a work doesn’t meet those needs, you end up with the kind of perfect storm we’ve been seeing for the last several years, because every work can offend someone. And then, on top of that, you get a bunch of “allies” whose received wisdom is that the best way to help is to amplify the voice of whoever is expressing the most pain at the moment, even when the needs of that person are directly in opposition to the one the previous round.

I don’t have a tidy conclusion from this, or a solution. Just a conviction that it is worth remembering that lots of these antis are behaving in ways that are sincere, but that sincerity doesn’t mean they’re correct. It’s not fair to yourself or to the community to treat the expressions of pain as more legitimate or more important than the people who were hoping for exactly what you wrote. (Obviously there are exceptions, but an awful lot of fandom fights these days are about topics like the validity of darkfic or whether it’s more racist for Finn or Poe to top, and those are pure competing needs problems.)

All this talk of sensitivity readers, IMO, seems like a branch of a bigger issue: the idea that there's no way to write a marginalized identity/topic "right" but a hundred ways to write one wrong. And I'm not even accusing people of being desperate to be offended or whatever; the logic that "if this (piece of media) *can* be useful to bigots, it's by definition bigoted" *does* have value to it. But a creative enough bigot can use *any* media to advance his bigotry - and what then?

--

Eh. I think it's at least as much about fundamentally seeing all conflict as bad and a sign that something has gone wrong. If you offend someone, it means you have Caused Harm. If even one person out there just plain doesn't like you, it means there's a specific reason and you two need to have it out and clear up the misunderstanding or atone for the mistake.

But of course, in reality, people offend each other all the time or just don't get along. It's a normal part of life and not something to be "fixed".

A lot of people who don't like your book just... don't like it and should be allowed to go on not liking it in peace.

A lot of books that one doesn't like aren't actually bad. They should also be allowed to go on existing in peace.

[drpaulmacdonaldrnma]

Watchtower Sold The Names of All Their Members to Homeland Security

Paul MacDonald RN MA Dipl

The Watchtower Cult: Trading the Safety and Security of its Members For Their Very Own Financial Gain, Security And Prosperity.

Prisonplanet

3001 S. lamar

Suite 100 78704

Austin

United States of America

Dear Mr Jones,

I write to you in connection with the work you have uncovered on Homeland Security Clergy Response Teams.

I write concerning the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York.

Romans 13 Part 1 Alex Jones

I have uncovered a Tax Return dating back to the year 2007 that highlights their 501C3 status, but was wondering if their relationship with Homeland Security could actually go back even further?

Romans 13 Part 2 Alex Jones

This is not only in light of the work you began to uncover as far back as 2006, but also in light of the fact that the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society having a secret relationship with the UN as an NGO. 

Watchtower and Good World Government

This relationship continues to this very day with Paul Gillies from Glasgow who acts in the capacity of spokesman for the Watchtower.

Gillies, however has recently moved to the Watchtower HQ due to his part in the cover up of Child Sex Abuse scandals.

This relationship was brought to light by the Guardian Newspaper in London due to the fact that the relationship was kept secret for those 10 years, and it is a relationship that the Watchtower still does not wish to discuss to this day.

They [the Watchtower] even go as far as to [suppress] any mention of this very SECRET RELATIONSHIP [at all costs] and no matter who gets hurt in the process of keeping that relationship secret.

This relationship with the UN leads us directly on to their current relationship with Homeland Security and their current 501c3 Status. A status that only Homeland Security has the authority to grant.

The Watchtower as a Registered UN NGO

I assume, and correctly, that the 7 million strong members of this group have not been informed of this new relationship. I also assume [correctly] that they are also unaware of what this relationship entails, and what bearing it has on their future safety.

And when I speak of members, this includes ex members, as their personal details have also been sold on. Because, little do they know that all their details were sent to the DHS in 2005 as part of a UN directive.

The members of this group are totally in the dark as to what is going on, especially where Fema Camps are concerned. They have no idea that these camps will be used in the future eradication of those that oppose the rapidly oncoming One World Government. And when I speak of eradication, I speak of mass extermination.

FEMA Camps USA

But, the Watchtower, in exchange for their own prosperity, they have once again sold out the members of their group-and without their members prior knowledge and consent.

The members of this group have been sold out once again, but this time it includes that of their very own futures, as well as the safety of their lives have been sold out and all for the sake of the Watchtower looking after its own interests which amount to $8 billion dollars……you can readily see why they sold out.

They claim to be the one and only true religion, but as you have said on your show, Christ would never sell out the flock, but these “so called” brothers of Christ have.

With the UN relationship, they were obliged to write in their magazines concerning this monster and what it does, and how it benefited the World, so as to maintain NGO status which they had to re-apply for on a yearly basis-again without the knowledge and consent of their members.

Now, they receive tax exemption in exchange for preaching the Governments message and not that of Gods. They are misleading a people in their care, without these people knowing what is ahead, and they really have lead the sheep to the slaughter.

The members of this group, even former members, they do not realize the full implications of this action taken by Watchtower, they are asleep as to what is going on and what is going to happen, and they have little idea of what this sell out means for them, and it’s a sell out which involves the very safety of their lives.

I hereby fax you the details for your perusal.

Watchtower 501C3 Certification

I, and indeed the 7 million strong members of this group would be glad of some kind of clarification to the truth of this. The tax returns and 501 C3 status are still all available online. This is the proof which exits currently to show that this is very real.

I would be glad if you could answer this question, but in doing so, address this 7 million strong group and inform them as to the “reality” and what this “reality” involves.

I look forward to hearing from you in due course.

Yours Very Sincerely

Paul MacDonald RN RMN MA (Hons) Dipl ©