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hiatuswhore · 1 year ago

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𝒪𝒻 𝒮𝒾𝓃𝓃𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒮𝒶𝒾𝓃𝓉𝓈 — 𝒸.𝓈

♕ A/N: I have mixed feelings about the movie but I adore the book. My favorite character is Sejanus, ugh my heart bleeds for this character. Never stop I’d be writing a fanfiction for this story. Coriolanus Snow is an evil but interesting villain. I thought I’d dive into the dynamic of him essentially taking what should’ve been Sejanus’s life.

♕ SUMMARY: Poor Sejanus. Poor sensitive, foolish dead Sejanus. A good son, loving brother, and amazing friend.

♕ WORD COUNT: 1K

♕ WARNING: Death

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𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐲 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Father had not left his study since word reached us. Every time Mother looked at me, I knew it was not me she saw. The tremble of her lip and mist of her eyes reminded me of my new reality. A reality where I drew breath as my twin did not.

I could not process it. Not at first. I would wait for a letter from him in the mail. His ramblings of doing good, of being better a constant any time he opened his mouth. Oh my good brother. Miles away. Hung in the districts for treason.

The first few weeks the house was silent. I could make out Mothers frequent sobs through the day. Other times the deep gait of Fathers boots from his room to his office. Rarely from his office to his room. Our home became much like a graveyard. Empty and cold.

This remained until the day Mother and I woke to every picture of Sejanus in the foyer gone. Mother sobbed for her baby, one would think Father was withholding her actual child. Still, my Father, the stern unforgiving statue of a man, refused to return all that remained of her son to her.

The first thing I began to forget was his voice. All the hours he spent in my room ranting angrily about our father. I’d lay on my bed watching him pace, his passion fueled and furious. I thought maybe he’d be president someday. Panem needed the likes of him.

“Well eventually Fathers time will come to pass and it’ll be you in the position of wealth and power. Be patient sweet brother. You’ll do great things, I just know it.”

He’ll hang in the poorest district branded a traitor. Some say he cried for Mother. Others say he cried for me. Oh how it was few and far between but make no mistake, I wept for my brother. My kind, sweet, sensitive dead brother.

As his voice faded over time so did the small details of his presence. How his curls always stayed so effortlessly in place unlike my own that would become frizzy in a moments notice. The way he his nose would scrunch when he laughed. His obnoxious snores he would deny whenever called out on it.

See, Father was happy to erase Sejanus from our home. His memory a reminder of everything our Father could never be. A compassionate soul. A loving brother and son. A good man.

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐀𝐭 𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐨𝐫

Then came Coriolanus Snow. His gaze distant as he stood in our foyer, my father greeting him like a son returning home from travels. Long gone the hand made shirts and boots a size too tight. The messy haired Snow appeared far different, he too have died back in twelve. I wondered if he hung too or perhaps his fate was far worse. A mystery to never be solved, especially not if Coriolanus Snow could help it.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” His gaze bounced between myself and Mother. My Father said nothing while Mother embraced Coriolanus as I stared at him.

“Are you?” My words earned a stern tone from Father and scoldings from Mother. I offered a forced apology my eyes never leaving the leech standing in my family home. Gaining the world from the misfortune that befell my dear Sejanus. My father’s new pride and joy. At dinner Father was thrilled to announce his replacement son would join my side at University come the new term.

I left the table without a word. My father yelled for me to return as Mother assured our unwelcome guest it was not personal. Yet it was. Sejanus was to be with me for my first day of University. Not Coriolanus Snow.

Perhaps it was unfair. My brother was dead and I had already spent a lifetime despising my father. So who better to bear the brunt of my anger than the man who gained it all as I suffered my deepest loss.

𝐈 𝐒𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐧 𝐈, 𝐈 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐆𝐨

The night before our first day I stayed in my room. A knock at my door was an unexpected and unwelcome one. Mother was never a night owl and never in all my years had Father come to my room. Opening my door I crossed my arms leaning on the jamb. He stands holding a white rose his blue eyes piercing into my blank stare.

“I know you aren’t thrilled about me being here. I uh—I just wanted to wish you a good first day tomorrow,” Coriolanus spoke slowly. The rose still lingered in the air between us. I did not grab it.

“What happened to my brother?” His eyebrows quirked at my question, his lips parted as though he wanted to speak but nothing could leave him. I tilted my head my eyes narrowed before I retreated into my room leaving the door agape. At my shelf I rifled through the few papers and momentos of my own before finding the crumple paper stained with faded ink. The smudge writing typical for my left handed counterpart. My eyes on the paper as I return to the jamb, “…Coriolanus is here too. It’s nice to not be alone. His songbird is here, he plays it cool when I mention her but you can tell he cares for her. We’re like brothers, after what he did for me during the games. I’m going to protect him—“

𝐌𝐞 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥

“Are you accusing me of something?” His own eyes narrowed down at me. The glint in them something I could not put into words, at the time I had no knowledge of the nerve I struck.

“Did you know of his plans?” I asked crossing my arms, my tone lowered. Father was always a light sleeper, if he had even been sleeping.

Coriolanus sighed, his gaze locked on my own unblinking. I narrowed my eyes and stared up at him. He shouldn’t be here. In my family home, enjoying all the luxuries owed to my brother, not him.

“I did,” Coriolanus confessed. He wet his lips, as he shared his knowledge of treason so casually.

“Then why is my brother gone and you’re here?” The waver of my voice cracked my hardened resolve. My body trembled beneath the weight of too many emotions to sort. Confusion. Rage. Grief. Disbelief. I choked back a cry and allowed Coriolanus to pull me in his arms as I sobbed into his shoulder.

“Sejanus loved you more than anything. I promised I’d look after you,” Coriolanus touch was soothing as he poured honey in my ears. Capitalizing off my vulnerability. My brother’s true final words to me slipped from my grasp as I took comfort from the source of my grief.

“—I have already requested a leave of absence for your first day of University. Look at the bright side sister. You won’t have to fuss about my hair being better than yours on your big day. They have buzzed my curls from me. We’ll be together soon, sister. Give Mother my love. With love. Your brother, Sejanus.”

𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐁𝐲 𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞

#tbosas imagine #tbosas #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the ballad of songbirds and snakes imagine #coriolanus snow #coriolanus x lucy gray #coriolanus x reader #Coriolanus snow imagine #sejanus plinth #Sejanus plinth imagine #the hunger games #the hunger games imagine #panem imagine #the hunger games fanfiction #president snow #Lucy gray Baird imagine #young Coriolanus snow imagine #young Coriolanus snow x reader

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cruel-hiraeth · 24 days ago

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*gets comfortable on your couch

i’m listening. i know you love talking about your most favorite most beloved harbinger 🌝💛

this is all below the cut because i have exactly 1 (one) modicum of self respect. this is the most embarrassing thing i’ve ever done online.

a couple of notes:

right now, this is a canon-divergent au, so the “traveler” does not exist.

while i haven’t decided which region i’d be from yet, this all takes place in liyue, and i’m not from liyue. so i’m a foreigner with few interpersonal ties.

our dynamic is very one-sided enemies to lovers because i really can't stand him, whereas he’s a soft/subtle yandere because he knows from the first time he sees me that i’m “it” for him. but it’s a slow burn because he’s in it for the long haul.

i live and work in liyue when we meet. i’m not anyone particularly special or noteworthy; i simply work with an antique bookseller, interested in learning the ropes. i have an interest in not just regional literature, but international literature, and i hope to start my own business someday.

the 11th fatui harbinger is doing what he always does: shady business. he’s on a particularly lengthy mission (which may or may not involve trying to topple the government) at northland bank. since he’s in liyue for months and acts essentially as a diplomat, he knows the city inside and out. he has his eye on me for a while. i notice him because i’m aware of the fatui—his clothing gives him away. but i have no interest in becoming friendly with him because everyone knows the fatui is bad news.

eventually, childe stops by and pretends like he’s interested in the books (he is but not for the right reasons) and our rapport begins there. he’s charming, but i’m allergic to charm as someone who’s inherently distrustful… i also just dislike him off the bat. i very obviously dodge all his flirting attempts.

after some period of time, he starts asking questions—trying to get to know me—and i’m begrudging with my responses. but also he’s a paying customer (one of our highest paying customers, to my disdain) so i must be civil and engage without divulging too much. with our encounters becoming more and more frequent, he becomes more forward (i.e. he not-so-subtly asks me out) and i always say know. he’s persistent and i turn him down without fail. annoyingly, he doesn’t get discouraged by my rejection; in fact, he kind of (very much) relishes in it—it makes cracking me all the more rewarding.

the timeline in my mind isn’t set in stone, but this continues for at least a year. i try to live my life and he remains a thorn in my side. but there comes a point when he visits me late one night as i’m closing shop that he’s returning to snezhnaya, unsure of if/when he will return. and he has the gall to ask—yet again—whether i’ll go on a date with him if he returns someday.

it’s kind of a ridiculous proposition, and i’m so eager to get him out of my hair (and life) that i tell him fine! i will eventually go out with you if you ever return on 1 condition. and the condition is that he has to bring me [insert an incredibly rare book that i have yet to develop lore for but is basically impossible to track down]. and only if he returns with said book in hand will i grace him with my presence on a date. and i’m truly convinced that he will never be able to find it and i continue on with my life.

fast forward a year or so: guess which fatui harbinger returns to liyue with the aforementioned book in hand, wearing a shit eating grin?

i seem to have forgotten that he's filthy rich and he works in (what is essentially) an insanely intricate intelligence organization that has tabs on all the black markets across teyvat and—yeah. he finds the book. and i'm so shocked/thrilled to see the book that i forget to be pissed for a minute.

so i go on a date with him because i’m a woman of my word. i suspect that he’s going to take me on some stupidly stuffy fancy date since he has more money than he knows what to do with. but we actually go to a hole-in-the-wall eatery that i’ve never tried even though i’ve lived in liyue for several years. and then we walk around the city at sunset and i sort of maybe find myself enjoying his company...

i kind of envision the date ending with him being humble for the first time in my presence. he says something like, “i really appreciated you going out with me tonight. i’d love to do this again sometime, but i won’t force you to." (the humility lasts for all of 3 seconds, but—maybe—i don’t hate him as much as i thought i did...)

so i say something along the lines of, “well, maybe if you get on your knees and beg me, i’ll let you take me out again.”

and then he says something gross like, “i can do a lot more on my knees that just beg~” so i immediately want to kill him again. but our relationship sort of progresses from there…

the end i’m done embarrassing myself for the evening.

#this is quite literally just me rambling like an insane person so #— visiting card #— ajax + kae #cw yandere

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utapri-translations-uuuu · 21 days ago

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Shinsengumi ~Zan'yō no Yukusue~ LINE messages - Translation

Translator's notes can be found at the end and are marked with an asterisk.

Please do not repost/retranslate without permission.

Eiichi Otori

"I bought a little more handmade washi paper than usual. I thought I might be able to use it for the New Year’s first calligraphy. I’m already looking forward to it."

Kira Sumeragi

"Seven Kiyomizu ware* pieces have been added to the cabinet. Their striking blue, reminiscent of thin ice, is beautiful to the eye."

Nagi Mikado

"The souvenir I got in Kyoto is a Nishijin-ori* book cover☆ It makes any novel look stylish, I love it♪"

Eiji Otori

"The Kyoto-style shichimi* has a different mix than the one I usually use. I feel like it gives the food a slightly milder flavor."

Van Kiryuin

"The sencha tea I had at the filming location was super rich and delicious! I asked where it was from, and since then, I’ve been having it again and again."

Yamato Hyuga

“When I see a wooden sword while traveling, I always end up wanting one. Well, I have one in my room now. It's for training purposes.”

Shion Amakusa

“I find comfort in this booklet that lets me enjoy the majestic views of the garden* in each of the four seasons... Someday, I’d love to see it covered in snow.”

Translator's notes:

*1 Kiyomizu-yaki- (Kiyomizu ware) kind of Kyō ware (Kyō-yaki), a type of Japanese pottery traditionally from Kyoto

*2 Nishijin-ori- Traditional textile produced in the Nishijin district in Kyoto

*3 Shichimi- Seven-flavor chili pepper

*4 This could refer to one garden or to multiple gardens

#uta no prince sama #utapri #translation #english #he★vens #heavens #eiichi otori #kira sumeragi #nagi mikado #eiji otori #van kiryuin #yamato hyuga #shion amakusa #shinsengumi #line messages #line

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rinixo · 2 years ago

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ashamed

Din Djarin/Reader | 5.9k | Rated E | afab reader, no y/n, PIV sex, emotional hurt/comfort, angst, oral sex, reader is blindfolded, vague breeding kink, themes of religious doubt re: the creed

'I have always felt ashamed at being witnessed in the act of wanting something I could not have.' - Jennifer S. Cheng

Part 2 to Someday

a/n: wanted to play around with the ‘struggling between your faith and your lust’ trope with Din and Reader. All the mythology/constellation stuff I made up.

read on ao3

“See that star there? It’s called Tasale, in basic. It makes up the heart of the constellation Thaiell.”

Grogu looked up to where you were pointing. The two of you were crouched on the ground under the dark sky, your backs to the small campfire set up just a short distance away. Din was sitting near the flames, poking at it now and again as he listened to you talk about constellations with his kid.

The three of you had settled in for the evening after finishing a short scouting mission. After supper, you had noticed Grogu’s gaze following sparks from the fire floating up into the night and had started pointing out different astronomical bodies to the curious child. You had even pulled out a small telescope and set it up low enough for Grogu to peer through the viewfinder.

“Thaiell is a figure in ancient Naboo mythology,” you explained as Grogu made a small squeak of acknowledgment. “There are tales of when she was a young mortal priestess. She fell in love with a knight after he rescued her from a terrible monster that was attacking her temple.” You moved the telescope slightly to focus elsewhere.

“You can’t see it from where we are here, but on Naboo, I’d be able to show you the full constellation,” you continued. “The most famous tale talks about how she gave up her life at the temple to travel with her beloved, only to die tragically,” Grogu whined at your retelling, and you patted his back gently. “I know, it’s sad. But she’s always been my favorite constellation.”

“Why is it your favorite?” Din asked from where he sat behind you. Looking over your shoulder, you shot him a small smile.

“It’s a little embarrassing,” you laughed. “You see, Tasale is two stars - a binary system People say that they represent the heart of Thaiell and the heart of her beloved, eternally rotating aside one another. I guess I just think it’s romantic.”

“Patu,” Grogu tapped your knee, drawing your attention back to him. You shrugged at Din, smiling shyly from your confession, and went back to showing the child the stars.

Less than an hour later, Grogu had his fill of stargazing and had fallen asleep in your lap, snuggled against your stomach. You had moved back towards the fire as he dozed off, and sat opposite Din, watching the way the flames reflected an orange glow in his armor.

It had been a few weeks since you had left the small forested planet where you had met Tineke and Galina, and not once had either you or Din mentioned the intimate evening you had shared. You had woken up alone, wrapped up in the sheets, wondering if it had just been a pleasurable dream. The soreness between your thighs and in your jaw had proven that it had not been. You had met up with Din and a still-sleeping Grogu and journeyed back to the Crest in the misty pre-dawn light, and after punching in some coordinates it had been business as usual.

The two of you had skirted around any topics relating to that night and any hint of attraction you harbored for each other. The long silences in the cockpit had an air of tension in them - feelings said and unsaid.

At one point, you had gathered enough bravery to approach him one late-night cycle. You met him in the galley as he was tidying something up, placing a hand softly on his vambrace. He had paused, and gently pulled away from you, and you had left it at that.

“He liked looking at the stars,” Din said quietly, breaking you out of your thoughts. You looked down at Grogu’s sleeping face, the shadow of a smile on your lips.

“He did,” you agreed. “He certainly is becoming more and more Mandalorian.” You had heard Din explaining the tenets of the creed to his foundling on several occasions, imparting the knowledge he’d need to know to make his way in the galaxy. To his credit, and belying his young age, Grogu paid apt attention to his father’s teachings about navigating and traveling. Your expertise may be more theoretical than Din’s, but if what you could share with him was useful, you were happy to do so.

“I’m glad he is taking an interest in learning,” Din commented. “It’s…not an easy life.”

“So you’ve said,” you replied softly. “But Grogu has chosen a good role model, I think.”

“Have you met other Mandalorians?” Din queried, and you laughed.

“No,” you conceded. “But if they’re even half as impressive as you, then…” you trailed off, suddenly feeling shy. Across from you, Din had stilled in his prodding of the coals. The flames had died down, the fire barely more than embers at this point.

You had just been about to compliment Din, but after his silence and non-acknowledgment of your feelings from weeks ago, you stopped yourself. If your relationship was never going to progress any further, then perhaps it was best to stifle those feelings to save yourself from further heartbreak.

“You should sleep,” Din said lowly. “We’ll be off as soon as dawn arrives.”

Swallowing roughly, you nodded. Rising, still clutching Grogu to your chest, you returned to your bunk on the Crest. Deciding to snuggle with the sleeping baby rather than place him back in his cradle, you drifted off to sleep, finding comfort in the soft breaths of the tiny being in your arms.

—

Din waited a while before returning to the ship himself, wanting to wait enough time for you to fall asleep. He watched the coals die through his visor, musing on your short conversation.

The enormity of his desire for you frightened him. He could still remember how it felt to hold your soft body against his armored one like it was just moments ago. He desperately wished that he could feel you with more than just his bare hands, struggling between his dedication to his creed and his hunger for you. He felt a tinge of shame of how he had palmed himself to several releases over the past couple of weeks, remembering the heat of your mouth on him and the clutch of you on his fingers.

He thought back to his earlier promise - someday - and felt a twinge of regret. How could he promise something he wasn’t sure he could give? He had never struggled to keep to his code until he met you. Something about you stirred feelings in him he didn’t think he could have. If it was just lust, that one time would have satisfied it. No matter how much he tried, however, he could not get you out of his head.

Dropping sand over the coals, he sighed and returned up to the ship. He should have just gone to his bed, but he was pulled yet again to where you were. Your soft breathing indicated that you were out. He watched your sleeping form, curled protectively around his child, and something in him shifted.

Maybe there was a way to satisfy his need for you while adhering to the creed. Knowing he was not going to be able to sleep before parsing it out, he stomped up to the cockpit to meditate on the situation.

—

You woke up hours later, wincing at a soreness in your arm. It was bent funny, from where you had held Grogu next to you during your rest. The child was gone, and you blinked slowly and yawned before rising yourself.

The hull of the ship was quiet and empty, and you saw that the hatch was down. You could see sunlight streaming in, and as you changed into a clean set of clothes you wondered where Din had landed your little trio. You hadn’t gotten a chance to ask him, and he hadn’t asked your opinion on the next destination.

As if your thoughts had summoned him, the man stepped up into the ship - his kid noticeably absent. Pulling a light parka over your head, you shook out your hair and looked around for your shoes.

“Where is Grogu?” You inquired as Din began grabbing various things out of the storage compartments in his ship. Rations, water packs, necessities like that. Was he going on a hunt?

“With a friend,” Din answered. “He’ll be safe there.”

You frowned, confused. “Ok,” you said slowly. “But what about me?”

Din turned to you, handing you your empty pack. “You’ll be with me,” he said simply. “Pack up. Just enough for a day or two.”

Taking the pack, you looked at it dumbly, still confused. You rarely joined Din on his bounties - you were not trained in combat and would only be a liability. You usually stayed behind, running calculations or translating texts, Grogu babbling at your side until Din returned. You often joked you were an extremely overqualified babysitter, which you were sure Din rolled his eyes at.

“It’s ok,” Din said softly, noticing your expression. It almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself of his own statement, and your stomach knotted. The irrational part of you wondered if he was going to take you out into the desert and leave you for dead. You quickly squashed those thoughts, chastising yourself. Din hadn’t given you any reason not to trust him yet - and you hadn’t given him a reason to distrust you in turn. You had come to understand that he often left out details not because he wasn’t willing to share, but because he was used to doing everything on his own. You hoped this was just another one of those situations, where you’d find out his plans once he decided you needed to know.

Nodding, you turned and began to pack some basics, just missing a relieved sigh from the armored man as he continued his own packing.

—

A while later, you cursed the strain in your calves as you followed Din up a narrow, rocky trail. He had taken you on quite the hike - up and over low volcanic hills, covered in lava rock and plush layers of moss and other plant life. You realized that you were on Nevarro after seeing the spaceport in the distance. You knew Din had history here, and people he considered allies, but it still didn’t explain what in the hell was going on or why you were there.

Rounding the top of the hill, you paused to catch your breath. A warm breeze twisted lazily around you, and you scanned the horizon waiting for your energy to return.

“We’re almost there,” Din called, already several paces ahead of you. He pointed to the next rocky cliff, a couple hundred yards away. “It’s just behind there.”

“What is?” You cried out for the nth time. “Pirate hideout? Hidden cache?”

“You’ll see,” was his enigmatic reply, and you huffed before continuing behind him loyally.

The slight smell of sulfur hit your sense with the next breeze, and you scrunched your face up at the sensation. Ahead of you, Din disappeared around a rocky outcrop, and you hoisted your pack up over your shoulder and hurried to join him.

Rounding a sharp, porous cliff, you ran right into his back. He steadied you with a firm arm, shifting so that you could see around him and down into a small valley.

Steam rose in plumes, shifting in the late afternoon light. Geothermal springs bubbled and hissed below you, surrounding a small building set into the volcanic cliffs. Greenery decorated the ferrocrete structure, ivy and other creeping vines draping beautifully over its brutalist exterior. Your mouth opened into a small ‘o’, and you looked up at Din with wide eyes.

��It’s for you,” he said. “A place to relax, for a little while.”

“I don’t know what to say,” you sputtered. This was the last thing you were expecting to see, or receive. Your own private hot spring bungalow? You were expecting a cave or some other kind of damp hole you’d be crawling through in search of some criminal fugitive or piece of ancient pottery. “How did you come across a place like this?”

“Karga - the magistrate,” he clarified. “He owed me a favor.”

You frowned. “Din, I can’t take your favor. That’s not fair.”

He shrugged, continuing down the hill. “You need a break. Just enjoy it.”

—

The sun set a few hours later, and you lounged on the small porch, sipping on a cool drink. You had spent an almost unhealthy amount of time bathing in the springs, the warm water soothing aches you didn’t even realize you had. Din had busied himself elsewhere during that time - you had insisted that he also take the time to relax a little bit. The building wasn’t terribly large, but it was enough so that the two of you had privacy from one another.

You had half-expected him to dip out once you reached the building, and it had seemed like it was on his mind too. He had hovered just inside the doorway as you explored, and it wasn’t until you had gestured for him to come inside that he crossed the threshold. Almost like he was waiting for your permission.

The setting sun cast an orange light over the hills, making the bubbling springs look like pools of lava. You smiled, rubbing your calves lazily. There had been some lovely oils and creams set out, and you had picked the one you liked the smell of most to rub into your skin. The scent of medicinal spices and flowers filled your senses, all of it combining into quite a calming atmosphere. It almost reminded you of the bathhouses back on Naboo - except much more private.

“How was it?” Din’s voice greeted you, and you looked over your shoulder to see him carrying a stack of wood towards a small fire pit set into the ferrocrete floor.

“It was wonderful,” you gushed. “You should give them a try before we leave. I’ll go inside so you can get the full experience.”

“I might,” Din mused, arranging the wood and setting it alight. He settled on a small seat, hands crossed in front of him. You scooted over to join him closer to the flames.

“I really appreciate this,” you professed. “Though…I’m still a little confused. I hope you know I don’t expect things like this.” While you knew your life of relative peace and luxury was vastly different from his own, you had felt like you had settled quite comfortably into a life of being on the move and living in cramped spaces. “You don’t need to bribe me, you know,” you joked.

His helmet tilted to the side. “I know,” Din responded lowly. “It’s - more of a token of my appreciation for everything you do for Grogu and I. And…an apology.”

“For what?” You inquired.

“For everything,” he answered quietly. “For…letting my feelings get in the way. And for unpaid promises.”

“Oh,” you rasped, drawing your knees up to your chest and resting your chin on top. Guilt flooded in, and you let out a sigh.

“It’s ok Din,” you mumbled. “I should have known better. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. You don’t have to - it’s not a promise I expected you to even say, much less keep. If you want to forget about it, then I’m all right with that.” You shot him a half-smile, trying to force yourself to be ok with this development. Having it out in the open hurt, but at least you knew.

Time passed slowly, though, in reality, it must have been just a few heartbeats. The two of you gazed into the low flames. The smell of the burning wood was bright, like something you’d smell in incense. Combined with the steam and the oils, you felt a little lightheaded. You thought about excusing yourself and calling it a night early, maybe finding something alcoholic to sip before trying to sleep your feelings off, when Din let out a sigh.

“I’ve seen members of my covert leave for various reasons,” Din spoke softly. You raised your eyes and watched him through the flames as he poked at the coals, sending sparks up into the sky. “Wealth, family, fear, love. I had thought that there couldn’t possibly be anything in the galaxy that would cause me to forsake the creed.”

“I’ve felt temptation. It’s not an easy life, but it was the only one that I had ever truly known,” he continued. It’s what drives me…gives me purpose.” You nodded slowly, silence inviting him to continue.

“I knew this older Mandalorian, decades ago. We had traveled together on a few different bounties before I had started taking jobs exclusively on my own.” There was a hint of a smile in his soft voice. “I guess he was a kind of…mentor. Took me under his wing when I was first starting out. The last time I saw him was the day he laid down his helmet and left the creed. The other members of the covert watched him go in silence, but I followed him out into the dawn. I confronted him, and asked him why he would leave.” Another poke at the coals, and more sparks.

“I remember him just turning, a small, sad smile on his face,” Din murmured. “And he said ‘I just didn’t want to live another day without feeling the sun on my face, kid.’”

“Back then, I hadn’t understood. I had thought the man a fool for abandoning the creed for such an insignificant reason.” His helmet turned up, the visor facing you straight on. “Then, years later, I accepted a bounty for the kid and it was then that everything I thought he knew about the galaxy and my place in it had shifted.” You could barely hear a broken sigh as Din dropped the stick he had been using to stoke the fire, his hands resting limply on his thighs.

“And after meeting you,” he rasped, and your heart started beating so fast you were sure he could hear it. “I started to understand that perhaps that man’s words were more than just about feeling the sun on your face.”

Swallowing roughly, you trained your eyes on the man in front of him. It was like he had deflated - everything he was feeling, out in the open - guilt bare in front of you. You stood and went over to him, sitting just to his side, thighs barely touching. Placing a wary hand on his shoulder, you tried to think of what to say in response.

“I’m can’t take back how I feel,” you decided, voice soft and gentle. “Or erase what has transpired between us. But if it makes it easier for you…” trailing off, you brought your hand down to his bicep, where there was no armor, and squeezed gently. “I’m ok with going back to how things were.”

Din’s helmet turned towards you slightly, and he placed a hand lightly on your knee, squeezing in return.

“I brought you here for another reason,” he confessed and stood. Holding out his hand, he took yours and helped you to your feet, leading you inside the building.

It was lit dimly by warm, inset lights, and you followed Din into the main bedroom suite. You sat at the edge of the wide bed and watched as he went over to where his things were sitting on a table.

“Maybe it would be best if we did go back to how things were,” Din faltered, voice low as if he was talking more to himself than to you. He pulled a piece of dark fabric from his pack and handed it to you. It was soft, like silk, but made of a thick weave. “But…”

You took it from him as realization bloomed in you like a rising flame. “You want to feel the sun on your face,” you finished for him, thumb brushing over the blindfold.

“I can’t show you my face,” Din husked. “It’s not…but if you cover your eyes…” he trailed off with a shaky breath. “If you are willing.”

You hummed, turning the blindfold over in your hands. “Is this what you want?” Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you handed the blindfold back to him, keeping your hand on his, waiting for his consent.

“Yes,” he rasped quickly, the word leaving his lips before you had even finished your sentence. With a nod of acknowledgment, you turned and showed him your neck. Moving your hair out of the way, you invited him to tie the blindfold over your eyes.

Darkness covered your sight as he tightened the fabric around your head. His hands settled heavily on your shoulders and you turned back to face him.

“I know I can’t see,” you ventured, “But can I touch you?” You placed a hand on his chest and heard a low, shaken noise from the man underneath the armor.

“Touching…is ok,” Din answered, and the tone of it sounded more like a plea than anything else. You stood in front of him, hands slowly going up to his shoulders, and you felt around for the clasps and belts that held his armor in place. You wanted to undress him as he had undressed you.

As each piece of armor came off, you handed it to him to place safely somewhere off to the side. Not being able to see what you were doing made the work a little harder, but it also increased your desire with every passing moment. You were getting closer and closer to his skin with every removal, and you tried to quell the anxious shake in your hands.

You got to his waist and then kneeled slightly to unclasp the armor at his thighs. Your hand brushed over the front of his trousers, and you felt him there, hard and wanting. A wrecked groan echoed from above you, affirming his desperation. Standing again, your hands went to his chest to undo his shirt when his hands came up to stop you.

“Wait.” You held still, listening for his instructions. You felt him move away from you slightly and heard rustling and the sound of him taking his boots off before you felt his presence back in front of you.

“Ok,” he affirmed, and your heart kept at the sound of his voice, clear and strong without the helmet in the way. He had removed it.

Your hands came back up to his collarbone, and you undid the front of his linen shirt. His skin was warm underneath, and you could feel his heart thundering. It matched your own, and it spurred you on further. You tugged up, and he helped you pull it up over his head before discarding it.

Before you could continue, his own hands went to your clothing. You paused and let him undress you in turn - your top thrown to the side, your linen shorts pulled down your legs. You stood in front of him, just in your thin fiber weave underwear, when he cupped your chin and brought his mouth to meet yours.

You felt his lips, soft against you, almost chaste in their exploring. You parted your own in a small gasp, hand coming up to rest on his chest. You could feel his heart thrum underneath your hand.

The scruff of his facial hair tingled and scraped your chin as he deepened the kiss. Your tongue darted out towards his lips, and he chased it back into your mouth with his own. One of his hands came to the back of your head as he laid you back on the soft sheets, guiding you down. His mouth moved to your jaw and he placed several firm, wet kisses all along it as you sighed and began to surrender to his touch.

—

Din felt like he was on fire. His body pushed him as his mind screamed at him, confusing messages telling him to stop, no, keep going, creed versus desire no it’s ok she can’t see, it doesn’t count, please just let me have this -

Every piece of his armor coming off at your hands sent shocks of desire through him, followed swiftly by guilt at finding pleasure in something so forbidden. Then he started to take off your clothes, swallowing roughly at the sight of your smooth curves revealed to his uncovered eyes.

He channeled his guilt and deference to the creed into the worship of your body. From your mouth, down to your jaw, and then to the center of your chest. He held himself over you, careful not to crush you under his weight. You arched up, and he ran his tongue to the peak of one of your breasts. Closing his eyes, he groaned as he sucked there roughly, delighting in how you gasped at the sensation.

“Feels good,” you muttered above him, and he responded by turning his mouth to your other breast. One of your hands came up to comb through his hair, and he teased you with a soft nip to the soft flesh around your pert nipple.

“You’re so soft,” Din whispered, trailing his mouth down the plane of your stomach. A smile flickered across your face before turning into a hiss as he kneeled at the edge of the bed and spread open your thighs. “Never knew anything could be so kriffing soft.”

He nosed at your covered mound, hands gripping your thighs. The thin fabric of your underwear was losing its modesty just from your slick - and he hadn’t even tasted you yet.

“So wet,” Din growled. “Do you always get so wet? Do you walk around my ship with a dripping cunt?” He wrapped his lips around the soft, swollen mound of you, holding tight to your legs to prevent you from moving away from his probing tongue.

“Unngh,” was all the answer you could muster as his lips firmed around the bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs. Your orgasm was approaching rapidly, bitter-bright from the sensation of the man prostrating himself between your legs. His mouth moved against you, and he pushed your soaked underwear to the side to lathe his tongue up your slit. You reached down to grasp his hair again as he edged you closer to release.

Helmetless, Din reveled in the taste of you, the smell of you. Deference to his creed defied by the roaring desire you had planted inside of him urged him on. He flicked his tongue quickly over your swollen clit, eyes closing as you tensed against him.

“Oooh,” you simpered, hands tightening in his hair. “I’m gonna co-“ you failed to get the words out as Din pushed his face further into your soft cunt, and you came with a choked cry.

Stars, he thought. The feeling of you coming on his hand had been one thing, but this? The rapture of your orgasm nearly had him coming himself. A fleeting thought crossed his mind that he was now ruined - how could he ever be satisfied with just touches after feeling you come undone by his mouth?

Body shaking and jolting with every continued suck, you pushed at Din’s head. “S’too much,” you wailed, and you swore you could feel him smirk against you.

With one last kiss to your swollen flesh, Din moved back up your body. He grunted in surprise as you pushed on his shoulders, trying to roll him over. “What’re you doing?” He huffed.

“You said touching is ok,” you pouted, and he obliged you and rolled to his side. You felt around for his chest and swung a still-shaking leg over his broad lower abdomen. Leaning forward, you bumped his nose clumsily as he chuckled lowly and guided your desperate mouth to his own. You sighed into it, tongue swiping at his lips to taste yourself on him. Din’s hands settled on the backs of your thighs, rubbing the soft skin there as you explored his mouth.

Mirroring his earlier journey, you moved from his lips to his jaw, nipping at the scruff. His short nails scratched lightly at the skin on your legs as you ventured lower, using only your sense of touch to guide yourself down him.

Din groaned as your tongue came out to trace his collarbone before you kissed down his chest. His cock jumped at the feeling of you grinding down into his lap - were you even aware of it, or were you so drunk on the need for him that you didn’t notice?

As you moved your body down to settle between his legs, reaching for the belt of his trousers, you frowned in frustration as his hand came to stop you. “Sorry, sweetness,” Din mumbled. “But I’m not gonna last if you do that, and I want to come inside your cunt.”

“Oh,” you responded lamely as he grabbed your arms and dragged you back up his body. He slotted his mouth over yours again as he flipped your roles, once again hovering over your smaller frame.

“You want that?” Din husked into your mouth and you nod feverishly. “I know - you’re drenched with the thought of me deep inside you, aren’t you?” You moan your assent, shivering at the filthy way he’s talking to you.

“Gonna ruin you,” he continues lowly, shedding his pants and gripping the base of himself. Grabbing one of your legs, he pulls you down as you yelp. He rubs his cockhead over your clit and up and down your dripping folds, spreading your thighs to settle heavily between them.

His girth dwarfs you - you had seen how big he was before when you had him in your mouth, but feeling him like this - hard against where you wanted him most - makes your head spin. With a grunt, he pushes against you, and you feel the pressure of him.

He knows he should go slow. He wonders if he’ll fit as he watches the way you split and stretch around him. He feels too big, but it’s too good to slow down - and the way you keen under him urges him on. It’s selfish, he thinks wildly. Not taking the time to prepare you for this. But he can’t help it.

“Fuck,” he rambles, speaking neither to you nor himself, but to something unseen. “This is for me. Just for me.” Rolling his hips, he thrusts up into you, watching as your covered face lulls to the side, your breath leaving you in little gasps with every punch at your guts.

’S’full,” you mumble, and he answers you with another purposeful thrust. ’B-big. You’re so big, Din. Deep. You feel so good.” He murmurs praise about how good you’ve been for him, how pretty you look under him, blissed out from his cock. You gurgle out a moan at how full you feel - you swear you can feel him all the way up in your sternum.

He wants to stain your insides. His hips piston into you recklessly, driving home so that you’ll feel him for days afterward. He wants you to walk back to his ship sore and dripping with his spend, and then he’d push you down into your cot and fill you up again for good measure.

Your cunt flutters around him, and it drives him further into madness. All thoughts of the creed are gone. He’s lost in the tight clutch of you - the universe begins and ends from where he’s anchored inside of your body.

“Gonna fill you up,” he slurs against your mouth, chest coming down to press against yours. He hisses at your nails scratching up his back, and he presses his teeth against your bared neck. He sucks a dark mark there, nipping and biting up to just under your ear. “Want it, don’t you? Gotta come on my cock first, baby.”

Your brows furrow as if in concentration - you focus intently on the feeling of him. The way his bulk spreads your thighs, the ache of a burn already growing there. The way his iron-hard cock spears you open. The way his mouth lathes over your skin. It’s too much and not enough all at the same time, and it pulls you apart.

Din groans at the feeling of you tensing below him, around him. He’s so close, and it makes his whole body burn. He has just enough sanity left to keep his deepest desires on the tip of his tongue - the ones that make him come the hardest when he’s alone, cock in hand. The ones where he comes so deep inside of you that it takes and ties you to him forever.

He almost says it. “Might fucking take, sweet girl. Want me to come in you? Stuff you full of my come? Fill you so deep, get you nice and round with it-“

He doesn’t though - not yet, that’s too much - and instead muffles a groan into your neck as he starts to come. Din slams his hips into you once, twice, and then holds himself up against the seal of your womb, rutting not out but further up. Stars, he’s coming so much, and harder than he had ever come before. It makes him see static behind his eyes.

You shiver and moan beneath him, at the feeling of him pulsing his release inside of you. Din slots his mouth over yours before lowering himself further, hiking your legs up to lock around his waist.

You shift under him, still anchored to where he fills you. You can fill yourself leaking around the tight plug of him, and it makes your toes curl. Din does not make an effort to move, merely buries his nose into the side of your neck and curls around you further. Maybe it’s the desire to keep you there, attached to him. The feeling of holding someone in his arms - so unfamiliar yet so necessary.

He might be a Mandalorian, but he’s also a man, after all.

—

Din has you twice more before the sun rises. On your knees, face buried in the pillow as he plows into you from behind. He fucks you slow and deep like this, rambling more filth into your ear until you’re shaking around him again.

You’re nearly delirious from the pleasure and exertion as he brings you to your crest a final time. He lowers you onto him, your chests pressed together. The blindfold is damp from a mixture of your sweat and your tears. His hands brand themselves on the curves of your ass as he fills you one last time, praising you for how well you took him.

You feel him shudder beneath you as you mumble how you want to be good for him before you sigh and fall out of lucidity.

—

He holds you like that as the sun crests through the thin curtains. You’re sprawled over him, check pressed against his chest. Eyes still covered - the blindfold hadn’t budged, despite the way you tumbled together through the night. A small token of grace.

Din knows he’ll have to get up soon, and put his helmet back on before you wake up. His body is tired, though, and he convinces himself to lie there - just a little longer - and tries to imprint how it feels to have your body pressed against his.

After the bliss has faded and the shame sets in, it might be all he’s left with.

#din djarin x reader #the mandalorian x reader #din djarin smut #the mandalorian smut #the mandalorian #din djarin #reader insert #din x reader #mando x reader

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tw1l1te · 9 months ago

Text

The Final Promise₊˚✩⊹

Chapter 8

Linked Universe x reader

Warnings: depression, angst, mentions of mental health, some fluff

₊˚✩⊹

Sky tucks you in, placing another small cushion under your head to take a bit of pressure from your back, but it doesn’t relieve much pain.

“Need anything?” he asks, cradling your hands in his, so gently as if he was scared of hurting you more. You shake your head.

“Stay?” you ask.

He nods, a small smile on his face. He makes his way to the other side of the bed, slipping off his boots that he put on earlier. He wasn’t exactly dressed for the day when he experienced all of the commotion, so he was already in his sleeping tunic and pants.

Slipping under the covers, he faces you, examining your features for any possible open wounds or signs of discomfort.

“I can hear you panicking over me, Sky. I’m fine. Sore, but fine.” you say, glancing at him.

“Sorry.”

“You’re all good. Just don’t want you to be in even more stress, hell knows we don’t need more of it.”

You were both silent for a while. The only sounds being the occasional grunt from you or shuffling in the covers.

“What’s home like for you?” Sky asks.

Well that came out of the blue.

“What do you mean? Like in general or my life?”

He props himself up on his elbow, like Twilight did last night, but you shoo the the thought away quickly, not wanting to think about making out with your traveling partner.

“I guess more so your life. What’s it like, at least most recently?”

You think for a moment.

“Well, I go to school, college as they call it. I live in an apartment with my roommate with a dog and a cat, god knows how they even stand each other. I work at a bakery when I’m not in school, which is ran by my aunt. She’s kind of the only family I have, other than my pets, I guess.”

You smile before continuing, “Its nice back home, I miss it. Despite my past… i’m doing pretty ok right now. I hope to introduce you guys to my life someday, if its possible.”

Sky smiles at that, “That’d be nice. I’d love to meet your aunt, she sounds kind.”

Another beat of silence.

“What about your parents?”

Sky notices your wince at the question, “Sorr-”

“It’s fine. They’re not around anymore. Weren’t the best towards me. That’s all.” you mumble, wanting to change the subject.

He nods, but something is off about his demeanor. He seems… upset.

“Sky, hey, they’re not around anymore, they haven’t been since I was 15. It’s long in the past.”

He grasps your hands tighter, “But the fact that they treated you terribly, regardless of how long ago, is still horrible. You… didn’t deserve that. I wish I knew, so I could-”

“There’s literally no way you could’ve known, you could only barely hear me when I only played the game, much less hear me outside of it. Stop blaming yourself Sky, you carry so many burdens with you that shouldn’t be there in the first place.” your voice stern, but not because you were upset with him.

“It’s hard not to. I mean, I caused the curse to begin in the first place, consequently placing the burden on everyone else. In a way, it… is my fault.”

“You were young, Sky. You didn’t know, or ask for it. You can blame yourself as much as you want, but I saw what happened, and it wasn’t your fault.”

You both stayed silent for a while, processing.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me for telling the truth, Link.”

When evening rolls around the others wonder where Sky is, prompting a few of the members to come upstairs, anticipating the worst.

They find you asleep on Sky’s chest, hands grasping each other.

“Ok, what animal do you think you’d be? I’d be a big ass shark!” Wind exclaims.

“Language.” Wind just rolls his eyes.

“I think I’d be a fox: sly and cunning.” Wars states.

“More like flirty and you hiss.” Twilight mumbles, earning a choked giggle from you.

“Says you! You’d probably be a mountain goat!” he exclaims, hand on his chest dramatically.

“You’re actually not far off, an Ordonian goat.” he says, smiling.

“Oh, shut up, cowboy.”

“Hmmm… I think I’d be a swallow or maybe a sparrow.” Sky mumbles, deep in thought.

“Suits you, birdbrain.” Legend says, sarcasm lacing his tone, Sky just shoots him a bored stare.

You roll your eyes, turning to Time, “How ‘bout you, Old man? Any ideas?”

He sighs, “Maybe a wolf, protective of family and travel in packs. Loyal and cautious.”

You raise your eyebrow at him, turning to Twilight with a smile. He shrugs back at you.

What a coincidence.

You turn to Legend with a teasing smile, “You’re definitely a rabbit. All bark, no bite.”

Legend guffaws at you, “H-How did you- why I’m offended Y/n! Really supportive of you, Mouse.”

You just laugh loudly, but it quickly follows with a sharp pain from your back, causing you to hiss with pain. The group around you gets silent, anticipating.

“Ah, ouch! Fucking ow- guys I’m fine, just laughed a bit too hard. Anyways, Wild? How about you?” you ask.

His expression still worried, he hesitates before answering “I-uh, I don’t really know. Never really thought about it.”

Hyrule pipes up, “I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like I’d be a goat. Not Ordonian, maybe more like the ones we saw in Hateno Village.”

Hums of agreement go around the group.

“Personally, I’m with Sky on the Sparrow. Probably because I’m part Minish.” Four says, crossing his arms while leaning back. He looks at you, “And, Y/n? What about you?”

All eyes were on you, anticipating your answer.

Just as you were about to answer, Legend beats you to it “Easy, a mouse. Ain’t that right, Mousey?”

You squeak in surprise, face bright red.

Legend just hums in satisfaction, leaning against the wall, “Told you, a squeaker.”

You just look at him, eyes wide. He just gazes at you, eyeing you like a predator.

The silence was unbearable. If you weren’t covered in wounds and bruises, you would’ve sprinted out of the room. The awkwardness tension was suffocating.

“Are you guys done drooling?” Four asked.

The next minute all you can hear was yells directed at Four and Wind dying of laughter on the floor.

The next couple days were agonizingly slow. All you did was lay in bed, change your bandages, or talk to the group and occasionally Malon. You felt so guilty for everything that had transpired the past few days for her, apologizing profusely every moment you were with her. She didn’t want to hear any of it.

By the end of the fourth day, you were finally able to stand up and walk downstairs, granted you were leaning on Wars the entire way down, almost falling face first halfway down.

“Look! Mouse is up!” Wind exclaimed, running to you and hugging your unoccupied arm to not put pressure onto your back.

“Seems like I have a new nickname, huh?” you chuckled, ruffling his sandy hair.

“How are you faring, Y/n?” Time asked, arms propped on the dining table. He looked tired.

You gave him a small smile, “Better, still really sore, but couldn’t be in that bed any longer, my ass was deflating.”

Legend coughs, “Can’t be flatter than Cap’s.” earning him a smack on the head from Sky.

You rolled your eyes for the millionth time, “Anyways… How has everyone been lately? I know things have been pretty shaken up around here the past few days.”

“Before ya go on apologizin’ and all, don’t. We don’t know who did that to you or if not someone, what did that to you.” Twilight said, voice stern.

You nodded, accepting his statement.

“But besides that, we’ve been alright. Mostly doin’ work around the ranch for Malon. She’s out in Castle Town right now.”

Time stands up from the chair, looking at you “Which is why now is a good time to talk about our next steps.”

Everyone sits down around the table, Wars helping you sit down without hitting your back in the process.

“We’ve been here for a little under a week and so far there’s been no news or updates on either the Shadow’s army or Y/n’s passageway home. Although the serenity for once is nice, it feels too serene. Too ideal. I want to say something is going on behind the scenes, but I don’t have any proof to show for that.”

Wars nods along before joining in, “I too have felt that way. It’s unlike for the Shadow to leave us like this for almost a week. It feels too convenient for us, especially since Y/n’s incident. Do you think he hurt Y/n to distract us?”

Time thought for a moment, eyes focused on the vase on the table.

“No. No, I don’t think it was to distract us, or not in the way you’re thinking. From what I’ve noticed from our battles with him, he needs to regenerate health over time to get back to his full potential again. He isn’t invincible, but he seems like it when we encounter him because he’s had time to heal.”

Legend sits up.

“So why don’t we ever track him down whenever he’s healing and finish him off? We could’ve been done with this bullshit so much sooner!!”

Four shoots him a look, Legend just quietly seethes in his chair.

“Pardon my language, but it’s practically impossible to track that fucker down. From what we’ve seen with the portals, he disappears through them, and we don’t have a way of summoning portals or knowing when or where they went.”

You nod along, things were starting to click together.

“All I’m gonna say is that the Shadow is definitely not who I encountered in my vision, dream, or whatever the fuck it was. I thought that’s who it was, but…. It’s very unlikely that it’s him.”

Time looks around the group, “Right, well, there’s not much we can do right now. My guess is that a portal may show up somewhere around here in the next few days to a week, so we should always be ready to leave. You never know when it’ll open back up, even in the middle of the night.”

You groan, “Why do I have a feeling that’s what’s gonna happen.”

You look at Twilight, “Twi if we have to leave at two in the morning, you’re carrying me.”

He raises an amused eyebrow at you, “Is tha’ right? You the boss all of a sudden?”

You smirk. “I’m the only woman in the group, so yeah. Plus… you wouldn’t wanna upset me during shark week, would ya?”

Twilight’s smile dropped, ears flushed. Everyone just stares at you, wide-eyed.

Wind high-fives you. You had them wrapped right around your finger.

The chain and you were currently sitting on the couch and floor, just talking and laughing over jokes while Wild and Sky cooked in the kitchen. You sat in the corner of the couch, a pillow propped up behind your back and a blanket wrapped around your form. You were half listening to the boys’ conversation when the topic of birthdays came up.

“When’s your birthday, Y/n?” You snap back into the conversation.

“God, I haven't thought about my birthday in ages! I have probably missed one since being here. My birthday is in the late winter, though our idea of seasons and months are different from Hyrule's, so I can’t pinpoint the day,” you smile sadly.

“So you’re… 19? 20?” Hyrule asks, counting in his head.

“I think I’m 19 right now, but I’ll be 20 soon.”

Wind jumps up, “We’ve gotta celebrate! Birthdays are like the best time of year! Other than the Winter and Summer festivals.”

You look at Time, “Yeah, maybe when things settle down a bit. To be honest I don’t even know what to do or how to celebrate my birthday here.”

“We could always celebrate it during one of the upcoming festivals. It'll be easier to plan and there’s plenty to do.” Time offers, looking around for responses. Everyone agrees, already discussing what they think would be fun for you.

“Dinner’s ready!” Wild shouts out, ending the conversation and starting a new one. Twilight holds your arm to walk you to the table, your legs still shaky from the lack of physical activity the past few days. He sits you first, then slides into the chair to the right of you. You feel his hand slide into yours, giving it a small squeeze.

Legend follows you up, arm under your armpit in case you lose your balance. It was his turn for watch over you, the routine being almost natural at this point.

“Easy, Mouse. We don’t want you opening up those wounds again.” he mumbles, checking over your back. Satisfied with the lack of blood, you both continue back to your room, him shutting the door behind him. It must have been past midnight, as you could feel your tiredness approaching you.

You climb into bed, too lazy to change into comfier clothes, as that could risk reopening the stitches again. Wincing, it takes you a few minutes to find a painless position, as you can’t fully lay on your back.

Once you’ve settled, you notice Legend is still standing by the door, watching you.

“You… do know you can sleep with me right? You don’t have to stand there watching me.”

He seems to snap out of it, shaking his head slightly.

“Right, uh, sure. Need anything before I turn the lights out?”

You shake your head, patting the empty space beside you.

He sits on top of the covers, fully clad in his tunic and robes, even in his pegasus boots. He was staring at the wall across from you both, seemingly deep in thought.

“Rupee for your thoughts?” you ask, it has taken you a while to switch up the terminology from “penny” to “Rupee”. The first time you said the phrase, it took a lot of explaining on your part.

Legend seems to take a breath to speak, but instead stays quiet. Almost as if someone told him to not talk.

You inch toward his hand with yours, lightly holding it. It was ice cold.

“You do know I’m here for you, right? Whatever it is, I’m here for you Leg.” you murmur, not wanting to trigger anything for him.

“Forget it, I’m fine. Just rest, Y/n.” he rasps, eyes still not meeting yours. This was unlike him. You’d like to think you’ve both grown to trust each other over the past year or so, so you weren’t sure as to why he’s being close off and snarky about it.

“Leg, are you sure-” “Leave it, Y/n.” he grunts, his entire body goes tense, you pulling your hand back towards yourself. You could feel your eyes burn, so you lay down and lie on your side, facing away from him. Your tears silently spilled from your waterline until you fell asleep.

The next time you were woken up, Wild was shaking you by your arm, “Y/n wake up. Portal at the edge of the farm. Start getting ready and someone will be up in a few to help you pack up.”

He quickly jogged out, leaving the door open. You could hear Malon talking to someone. When’d she get back?

Eyes bleary, you noticed that the spot where Legend was sitting was empty, covers not even pulled down. Seems like he left the first chance he’d gotten.

Wincing a bit, you hobble out of bed, heading over to where your pack lay on the dresser. You managed to pull on your tunic over your long sleeve shirt. Your pants were on just as Wars came into the room, looking disheveled for the first time in your time with them.

“Make sure you put your harness on, we might be dropped into battle.” he rambles, eyes flicking over the room, making sure you didn’t leave anything.

You were too tired to talk, silently tying your pack up and slinging it over your shoulder. Wars helped you adjust the chest harness, being careful to not squeeze your back too much.

“Ready?” you nod, “Alright, let's start heading out, it’s almost dawn.”

“Wars? Are you ok?” he seemed off, he was always composed, strictly business you once joked. But now was no laughing matter. You were worried for him. All of them.

He just smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Just tired, Y/n.”

He rarely used your name except if he was being serious or if he was worried.

Before you could keep pestering him, he pulled you along the hallway and down the stairs, helping you down the stairs like he usually did. Everyone was already awake, packing last minute and putting on clothes and armor.

Twilight looks up from his boots, fastening the buckles around the calf.

“There ya are, was worried ya were still asleep. All ready?” he walks up to you, placing his hands on your shoulders. You nod, yawning. He chuckled, giving you a small kiss on the crown of your forehead, “Don’t worry, pumpkin, we’ll make up for yer lost sleeping hours as soon as we can, ok?” You were too tired to react to the physical affection, just nodding into his chest.

You could feel Legend’s eyes on you, but you couldn’t deal with him right now. Avoidance was definitely not the best thing to do right now, but everyone was on a time limit to get to that portal.

Malon walks up to you, “Before you say anythin’, I’m gonna miss you too and stop apologizin’.” You chuckle, “You know me too well, Mal. I’m sorry we have to go so soon. I’ll miss you.” She smiles sadly. She brings you into a warm hug, mumbling into your ear “Just be safe, Y/n. I know how dangerous it is travelin’ with ‘em. I fully trust Link, I just don’t want you to be reckless and get hurt. Look after him for me?” she asks, voice slightly cracking.

“Of course Mal. Anything for you.”

“You’re too kind for this cruel world Y/n. I hope you come back soon, under better circumstances perhaps.”

“I’ll be back before you know it. Ok?”

She lets you go, talking to Time about being careful and giving him the whole talk on “don’t be too hard on them, be careful”, the usual. Once that was done, Malon waves you all off, you walking through the field towards the portal. It was dark and imposing, standing amongst the fauna and flora of Lon Lon Ranch. You walked with Twilight, firmly grasping his arm.

You both walk in, hand in hand, the others following behind you through the murky purple abyss.

₊˚✩⊹

#yandere linked universe #yandere linked universe x reader #linked universe x reader #link x reader #linked universe au #yandere lu

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skyward-floored · 10 months ago

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I think I’m coming down with a cold again and possibly have a fever but I’m here to scream about the update some more anyway! (and analyze a bit but mostly scream). Dawn part 7 here we go!

(All images belong to @linkeduniverse <3)

First off I have to say this was my favorite panel I think, it’s so pretty. The faint glow! The colors! The cape over his shoulder! Amazing. This truly was Sky’s update, I loved every bit of focus he got. Jojo fed us well :D

So it looks like I was wrong about Sky reading everyone’s mail. He just immediately took off after the mailman instead (and spent all morning chasing him ha!),

Side note but I love the npc guy. He’s simple but still Zelda-y. the character design in this comic is just👌

Looks like the mailman has a list of who he’s supposed to deliver to, or at least that’s my guess. It could be a map maybe, but that probably wouldn’t do much good since he’s time traveling?? How does he do it. Don’t question the magic of the postman I guess.

*green hill zone music intensifies*

Shoutout to Sky’s face here, I make the same expression when I’m trying to chase after my nephew and stop him from eating crayons

This looks like a postcard no joke, I'd frame this and put it on my wall. Plus the way the trees were done in the background is really neat, there’s something just really pleasing about this panel. Also the return of Sky: Just Standing There

They’re all bein silly <3

...except for Four. Because I think him and Warriors both realize that Sky isn’t just telling them what he was doing all morning— he’s got something important to say, something they all actually need to know.

(Downfall duo laughing together I love them)

Also I agree with everyone saying Warriors is close to snapping— they’ve all had a pretty stressful 24 hours, but Warriors has been breaking up arguments and repeatedly checking on everyone while they’re struggling, and... I don’t think he’s had a break. Take a nap bud, please?

SKY TALKING TO FI MY BELOVED he's hoping there’s enough of her aware to help him dowse hhhhh. And then he’s so sad she didn’t seem to hear him waahhh 😭

It doesn’t look to me like she truly helped much, but maybe Fi gave just enough of a nudge for Sky to find the postman’s footprints? Even in her sleep? She is glowing just a bit there... Interesting to think about.

It’s confirmed that the postman uses the portals! And that the Shadow is alive and kicking! Uh-oh! (Also does anyone else think this one seems more... firey? Then the last one? Maybe it's just me).

And the chopped-off darknut head is still there too.... and I’ll bet you twenty rupees somebody is going to kick it when the Links go through the portal later. (My guess is Wild but I’d put my money on Legend or Wind too).

I’m also really curious where that portal leads... My guess is either Twilight’s Hyrule or Sky’s, based on what hints we’ve been getting, but I really don’t know. It’ll be fun to see!

*Wind rapidly thinking of at least three conspiracy theories*: SUS

Also an amazing expression from him I’m laughing so hard, he really said 3:<

Tag yourself I’m Four

Also Sky just chugging away at the stamina potion, poor guy XD he must be beat from all that running around, I hope he has some more time to sit before the Links get moving.

(And I mentioned this in another post, but Legend looks so alarmed at this information, as does Wild... it’s not going to be pretty when they cross paths with the Shadow again, that’s for sure)

I love when Time breaks out the dramatic language... makes me remember that this guy is going to be the Hero’s Shade someday (who’s speech is 99% dramatic things).

Now the Links just have to decide what to do next... will they stay another day at the inn for Twilight’s sake, or get moving right away? Is Four going to confront Twilight about the dark magic he uses to turn into Wolfie?

So many questions... but in the meantime I will gladly continue to reread this amazing update, I really loved this one :D

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #linked universe analysis #lu sky #and a bunch of other guys I don't feel like taggig #update spoilers #rambles from the floor

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amorest-viesse · 4 months ago

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[Ringing the Bell of Blessings With You] - Chloe SSR Card Story Translation

Ft. Arthur and Akira (Western wizards mentioned)

Bonds Tied With a Ribbon - Chapter 1

[Estate Courtyard]

Akira: I’m glad the wedding ceremony was a success.

Arthur: I agree. Things were a bit rough in the middle, but everything came together in the end. The ceremony itself was absolutely gorgeous.

Chloe: The decorations up at the venue and all around town were beautiful as well… Not to mention the bride and groom’s attire! Their outfits really brought out their best features!

Chloe: Gosh, I hope I can make an outfit like that someday, one as bright and beautiful as the person wearing it.

Arthur: I’m certain you will. Even the outfits we have on now are perfect.

Arthur: You know Chloe, if I were to ever marry, and I’m allowed to choose my own tailor, could I leave my wedding suit to you?

Chloe: Huh!? For real!? Like, for real for real!?

Akira: That sounds like a wonderful idea! Wearing something made by a friend would make your special day even more special.

Chloe: It’d be such an honor…! I wonder how it should look?

Chloe: Arthur works well with a traditional style, but maybe I should go for something a little more personal and out-of-the-box!

Chloe: Ohh, I just can’t decide, but if there’s one thing it needs, it’s gotta be ribbons!

Akira: That sounds like a good start! I’m sure it’ll look lovely.

Arthur: There are ribbons on these outfits too. Do they mean anything?

Chloe: Yep! I learned about this while traveling through the Western Country…

Chloe: In one of the towns we stopped in, ribbons were used in a ceremony meant to strengthen bonds as a symbol of tying people together.

Chloe: I thought that’d be perfect for you since you’re always working hard to improve the relationship between humans and wizards!

Arthur: Chloe…

Arthur: Thank you so much…! I truly appreciate how much thought you put into this.

Akira: Ribbons as a symbol of strong bonds… What a lovely idea.

Chloe: Right? Actually, they became a trend among Western wizards for a while…

Chloe: Even now there’s a bar game related to it!

Akira: Ohh, is that what the Western wizards were doing with all those ribbons the other day?

Chloe: Yep!

Chloe: The rules are everyone takes turns professing their love, and at the end of the round, we vote for whomever had the best lines by tying a ribbon around their pinky finger.

Chloe: The person with the most ribbons at the end wins the game.

Akira: Well that explains why you all had so many! Who ended up winning?

Chloe: About that… We got a little carried away with tying the ribbons, and lost count of the actual score.

Arthur: Ah, so that’s why Murr was somersaulting through the dining hall the other day yelling something about a ribbon from Shylock.

Arthur: What an interesting game. It seems like a good way to improve your relationships with others too.

Chloe: Right? That’s why it became so popular in the first place.

Chloe: …Hey since today is all about celebrating bonds, why don’t we play it too?

Akira: I’d love to!

Arthur: Count me in as well. I would never pass up an opportunity to get to know someone better.

Chloe: Yippee! I’ll get everything setup then!

Opening his magical sewing kit, Chloe took out a handful of ribbons from inside.

Arthur: These work perfectly for the game.

Akira: We’re supposed to profess our feelings, right? I’m getting nervous, but I’ll do my best…!

Chloe: I can’t wait to hear what you’ll say! Alright, since it looks like we’re all ready, I’ll go first!

Bonds Tied With a Ribbon - Chapter 2

Chloe: I’ll go first!

Chloe: “I can’t help but feel envious whenever you wear clothes made by someone else.”

Chloe: “Forgive me, but could you only wear my designs from now on?”

Chloe: Ehehe, how’d I do?

Arthur: I could really feel the passion in your words. If it were me, I’d probably end up saying yes.

Akira: You were a lot bolder than usual too. It really got my heart racing.

Chloe: To let you in on a secret, Rustica and Shylock helped me with that one.

Chloe: Although they told me that using someone’s name and addressing them directly would make it even more effective.

Arthur: It’ll be hard for me to beat the three of you combined, but I’ll definitely give it a try. Ahem…

Arthur: “Didn’t you know, darling? You’re mine, all mine. I’m holding you tight and never letting go.”

Akira: Whoa…! Hearing you act all possessive is making me flustered!

Arthur: I wanted to go for a “gap moe” approach like the former Sage taught me and decided to use one of Bradley’s pick-up lines.

Chloe: Way to go, Arthur! You really played into your strengths there!

Chloe: I bet you could give Rustica some real competition in the “I Love You” game!

Akira: The two of you did that so easily… Is there a trick to it?

Chloe: Hmm… Well, what would make you happy to hear? Whatever it is, I’m sure it’d work on us too!

Akira: (What I'd like to hear…?)

Keeping Chloe’s words in mind, I opened my mouth.

Akira: When I first came to this world, I had no idea what was happening, but the two of you reached out to me anyway. Thanks to that, we can have fun just like we're doing now. I love you guys.

Akira: …Was that alright?

I hesitantly watched the two of them for a reaction. They looked at each other for a second, then burst into laughter as if someone had tickled them, before taking my hands.

Chloe: That was amazing…! I love you too, Master Sage!

Arthur: Just as Chloe said, I owe you my thanks for always thinking of us.

Akira: Thank goodness… I was so nervous, but I’m glad my message got through to you.

Overcome with relief, I began to laugh as well, and now it was Arthur and Chloe’s turn to look sheepish.

Chloe: That’s everyone then. Who will be the winner of this round...

Arthur: I’ve already decided.

Chloe: Me too!

Akira: That was quick! Who managed to steal your hearts?

Chloe: Well… <<Suisipicibo Voitingoc>>

Arthur: <<Pernoctant Nixzo>>

The two of them cast their spells and…

In the next moment, a red and a blue ribbon tied themselves around my pinky finger.

Chloe: Our winner is you, Master Sage!

Akira: M- Me!? But why…?

Arthur: It didn’t matter who we were talking to. Our lines had a fair chance of making anyone swoon.

Akira: Oh, I get it now… The difference is that I addressed the two of you specifically.

Chloe: Which made me really happy!

Chloe: Hey, can we play again? I wanna say something to you guys too!

Arthur: I agree. There are several things I’d like to say.

Akira: Ahaha, I wish I could be as forward as you two, but I’ll keep doing my best!

Bonds Tied With a Ribbon - Chapter 3

Chloe: I had so much fun playing that game!

Akira: We probably could’ve kept going forever too if Figaro hadn’t called Arthur over. It’s funny how we all tied in the end.

Chloe and I walked through the gardens, laughing as we talked about the game.

Akira: You two could’ve given me a heart attack with how intense your lines were.

Chloe: Ehehe, I felt the same way. It was giving me goosebumps.

Akira: I absolutely understand what people mean now when they say the game strengthens your relationships.

Akira: Didn’t you say it originated from a ceremony in the West…?

Akira: Does that one involve exchanging passionate confessions too?

Chloe: Umm, that one’s a little different. It goes something more like this…

Akira: …!

Chloe suddenly kneeled before me, the long hem of his jacket fluttering in the wind before it hit the ground.

As I froze in shock, he reached out with a white-gloved hand and grasped mine, his violet gaze meeting my eyes.

Chloe: Master Sage. Thank you for always keeping me in your thoughts.

Chloe: Because of this precious bond you’ve forged between us, like tying a ribbon around our hearts, all of us can spend each day in happiness with one another.

Akira: Chloe…

Chloe: I want to stay with you forever.

Chloe: To ensure our bond never falls apart… I’ll gift this red ribbon to you.

Akira: Ah…

Taking a glossy red ribbon, Chloe tied it around my pinky finger.

His eyes glimmered with happiness as he pulled the bow taut and leaned his forehead in.

Chloe: …Ehehe, that was a little embarrassing, but I wanted to show you what the real ceremony was like.

Akira: I- I see…! That certainly got my heart racing…

Chloe: Right?

Chloe: Rustica was the one who taught me about this…

Chloe: I was on the receiving end that time, and it was super nerve wracking. I was sure my chest would explode.

Akira: I really appreciated hearing your thoughts though…

Akira: I’d love to tie a bond with someone too... Although I’m sure I’ll be just as nervous on the giving end.

Chloe: Do you have someone you’d like to gift a ribbon to?

Akira: Of course! I’d love to give one to every single one of you!

Chloe: All of us!? I’d love that!

Chloe: I’m always happy to receive something from you! And when that time comes…

Chloe gently held up the ribbon tied around my pinky and blushed.

Chloe: Could you start with me? I want your very first ribbon, Akira.

Akira: …! Of course! I’d be happy to!

Chloe: Ehehe, thank you so much! I was so worried you would say no, but I’m glad I asked!

With his cheeks still a rosy red, Chloe smiled.

Seeing the expression on his face, I knew that this was a bond I wanted to last forever.

Beware of Western Games - Card Episode

Akira: Afternoon, Chloe. I found this ribbon on the floor of the common room. Is it yours?

Chloe: Oh wow, thanks for finding it! I’ve been looking everywhere for it since I noticed it was missing earlier.

Akira: It’s no problem at all. This brings back memories of that game we played the other day.

Chloe: Right? All of us were pretty fired up about winning, but that’s what made it fun.

Akira: Are there any other bar games that Western wizards play?

Chloe: Several actually! The one I remember most is “Tryst of Numbers”. We played it at Bar Bennett with some of the other guests.

Akira: What’s that?

Chloe: Typically the game is played with a deck of enchanted cards that are laid out on a table facedown, and you have to match the pairs…

Akira: (My world has similar memory games doesn’t it…?)

Chloe: If you guess wrong, the numbers will levitate off the card and attack you.

Akira: Wait… Attack you!?

Chloe: Oh, don’t worry! It’s only a prick, so it doesn’t hurt.

Akira: (That doesn’t reassure me in the slightest…)

Chloe: What you really need to watch out for is the penalty if you lose…

Akira: W- What does that entail…?

Chloe: Well…

Chloe: No, it’s too much, I can’t say! I’m sorry!

Chloe: You won’t have to worry about us…

Chloe: But if any other Western wizard invites you to play, tell me right away! I’ll take your place!

Akira: O- Okay! I’ll keep that in mind.

Akira: (What in the world could they be doing…)

Home Screen Voice Line

“Rutile told me that in the Southern Country, people often swear their love beneath the open sky…! Since most weddings in the West are held indoors, I wonder what an outdoor one would be like. I’d love to know more about wedding traditions from other countries, especially since we have representatives from all over at the manor. Someday, I'd want my wedding to be the best of the best for my beloved.”

#mhyktl #mahoyaku #mhyk #mahoutsukai no yakusoku #chloe collins #arthur granvelle

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arithmonym · 5 months ago

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20 questions for 20 writers!

thanks to @accidentallyadorable for tagging me! this was fun. :3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

30! only 20 are visible from my profile, though. my older fics and drabbles are quarantined to a separate account, and a few things are posted anonymously.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

113,190 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

it’s mostly the locked tomb these days. i also have a few old works for the penumbra podcast, the magnus archives, and the adventure zone—and a few even older works for harry potter and percy jackson, but those are on ff.net so i can pretend they don’t exist.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it’s familiar (but not too familiar) - fluffy griddlehark time travel fic. this was my first attempt at writing them and i could definitely do a better job now, but the prose still holds up.

alive, barely breathing - post-canon griddlehark first time fic that’s fucked-up and sad. sometimes i look at the comments when i want to feel good about my writing. :3

bring your hunger - post-canon griddlehark grief/relationship study. also a WIP. (honestly, this one might go on anon for a bit—it’s vulnerable in ways i don’t want to explain, and i’m shying away from writing the next chapter because the Fear of Being Known got to me a little.)

it’s not unusual - fluffy modern AU where team 69 go to a bar and play catan. palamedes has an oral fixation, because of course he does. this one is campal with background griddlehark getting-together, but i might write a sequel from harrow’s POV someday.

bad idea right? - modern AU chatfic inspired by this post by eskildit. it’s about camilla dealing with the paldulcie situationship™️ & enduring so much dyke drama thanks to the nature of her friend group. it received a podfic recently, which is fun!

(… i also want to write a camdulcie sequel for this one. i’ve been rotating the idea frequently.)

5. Do you respond to comments?

almost always. there are a few scattered comments i haven’t replied to yet, but i like responding! it’s an excuse to drop more lore about the fic and the writing process, IMO.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angiest ending?

the ace cam fic i haven’t finished yet, which will probably be posted on anon. (i feel like people are going to attack me for poor representation or something, but it’s inspired by my own experiences, so. can’t win them all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

something sweet is pure, uncomplicated fluff, so i guess i’ll go with that!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

not really. i’ve blocked a few people for being rude, but i haven’t gotten hate in years.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

occasionally. i’ve only posted 4 explicit fics, but so far it’s a pretty even mix of f/f, f/m, and other.

10. Do you write crossovers?

i have a tlt/w359 fusion AU i want to pick up again! i need to untangle some threads of the metaplot, though.

(also, the first fic i published on ff.net was a harry potter/rise of the guardians crossover. yes. it was cringe. yes, it’s probably still posted on the internet if you want to find it.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes, actually! a few of my old hp fics were translated into spanish or chinese.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i wrote a round-robin fic with the campal server once. i also started co-writing a fic with quinn a while ago (before we both got busy with school) that i’d like to return to at some point, because the concept still makes me vibrate with glee.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i’m not sure that i have one, actually? i’m a multishipper to my core.

15. What's one WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i have so many WIPs in my google docs that i’ll probably never finish.

i’d like to revisit my fic about necromancers & dysautonomia some day, but my writing style has changed so much since then. i might have to rewrite what i’ve posted.

16. What are your writing strengths?

i’m frequently complimented on my worldbuilding. i’m good at examining the implications of things that other people might not think about, so my plots are original even when i’m writing a fandom trope. (i can’t wait to post my harrow nova AU for this exact reason.)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

sigh. pacing. i write from very close POVs, but sometimes i get too far into the character’s head, and it drags the story down. i’m trying to write sharper prose, but i’m going through an awkward growth phase as a writer—i know the structure i want, but it’s a struggle to get there concisely.

also, i over-edit instead of writing new words, which does me no favors.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i guess it depends on context? i have a pretty good grasp on code-switching from being bilingual but not quite fluent, but the memory of that one klance fic haunts me.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

i mentioned my first published fic earlier, but the first fic i wrote was a percy jackson self-insert fic when i was twelve.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

indelible! cam and pal figure out that dulcinea isn’t who she says she is at the fifth’s anniversary party, but it doesn’t change anything. <3

///

tagging @harrowharkwife @friendamedes @cindthia @logicbutton @thewinterstale @sluggydrabbles & anyone else who wants to participate!

#there’s nothing like a tag meme to make me realize i know my friends’ ao3 handles much better than their tumblr usernames #m writes #m speaks #ask game #<- close enough

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jokertrap-ran · 6 months ago

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[Gakuen K] Kusanagi Izumo Route: I remember all our memories Translation (Best END)

*Translator’s note : MC’s name shall remain as my normal (水嶋ラン) *Gakuen K Masterlist / Gakuen K Mobile Masterlist *Spoiler FREE : Translations under cut !

????: …Hey, aren’t you gonna wake up soon?

Ran: Mm, hmm…

????: It’s bright and sunny out. You’re gonna oversleep, you know?

Ran: That’s fine by me… my class is in the afternoon…

Izumo: I see. So… we can play till the afternoon?

Ran: Play…?

Izumo: Finally awake, I see. You were out like a light.

Ran: Mm? It’s already morning…

Izumo: Still tired?

Ran: No, not really…

Izumo: It’s been a while, so you probably overdid it. Are you alright…?

Ran: Yeah, I’m alright. Just don’t stare at me too much…

Izumo: Is it because you’re embarrassed to have me lookin’ at you? Pfft- We’re in a relationship, aren’t we? And… it’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?

Izumo: Hey! Didn’t your parents ever tell you that it’s bad to throw pillows at people?

Ran: I don’t care!

Izumo: Ahh, sorry. I’ll quit teasin’ you now so look this way, please?

Izumo: Sorry for wakin’ you from your slumber, but there’s somethin’ I want to show you.

Ran: What is it?

Izumo: I think it should be over there…

Ran: K-Kusanagi-san!

Izumo: Hm? Oh, right.

Ran: This is…

Izumo: A travel brochure for Okinawa! I’ve placed sticky notes on the places we’re gonna go to.

Izumo: Don’t you remember? You said that you wanted to go to Okinawa again someday back when you were still schooling.

Izumo: Then we both got busy, and it was hard for us to find time to do it. So… What do you think? Should we go this summer?

Ran: Sure, I’d love to! Can’t believe you remembered it…

Izumo: I’d never forget. Especially not the memories I’ve made with you.

Izumo: The slack-jawed look you gave me when I confessed to you, the sad look you had when you turned your face away when I broke up with you… and that ever-so-adorable smile of yours that never fails to my heart skip.

Izumo: I remember each and every one of these memories, but… memories are something that fades over time.

Izumo: And since that is the case, I want to make as many memories as I can with you so that I’ll never have a shortage of fond memories to look back upon.

Izumo: So much that we can tell stories about it to our grandchildren once we both turn old and withered.

Izumo: And brag to them about what a great person my wife is.

Ran: Hey, don’t count your chickens before they hatch. We’re not even married yet!

Izumo: That’s true. We’ve decided to do it after you graduate from University for the time being, but that’s still a long way off.

Izumo: I really, really, want kids right now though. Haha. So much so that it’s gettin’ a little out of hand…

Izumo: I’m sure our kids would turn out to be adorable lil’ munchkins. Aha, just the thought makes my heart feel all fuzzy. I can’t wait!

Ran: Same here ac-

Ran: Ah.

Izumo: Haha. Your stomach is demanding for its presence to be known.

Izumo: …Has your teacher never told you that it’s bad to throw brochures at others?

Ran: Nope!

Izumo: C’mon, don’t look at me like that! It’s your fault for being so cute,

Izumo: I’ll go make somethin’ light for you so wait there. Oh, right.

Izumo: I completely forgot to give you your good morning kiss.

Izumo: Morning, Ran. Love you today too.

Izumo: Today, and forever.

━━━ ∘◦ ♔END♔ ◦∘ ━━━

#Gakuen K #Gakuen K: Wonderful School Days #K project #Otome #Translations #Kusanagi Izumo #Sakurai Takahiro #Gakuen K Izumo Route

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ro-is-struggling · 2 years ago

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Hi!! I was thinking that 6 (song) would go amazingly with Steve like maybe he’s still hung up on Nancy but like reader is in love with him? ASDFGHJKL if you could make this possible I’d dieeeee. Thank you so much

Hi beautiful! thank you so much for participating in the celebration and I'm sorry it took me so long to get to your request, I'm going through stuff lol but despite that I had a great time writing this fic even though it's pure angst with no happy ending. I hope you're ready to cry!

One Last Time || Steve Harrington x Reader

Summary: You knew Steve was still in love with Nancy, but you didn't care. All you cared about was holding him in your arms one last time.

Warnings: angst, unrequited love kinda, jealousy, no happy ending

English is not my first language

Word count: 1700

This fic is part of my 600 followers celeration

Sitting alone at the table with dinner served, your gaze traveled from the clock to the door passing by the phone as you waited for a signal from Steve. You were supposed to have a date. You cooked for him, put on a nice outfit and styled your hair, only to have him stand you up. Again. It wasn't the first time Steve had been late for one of your dates and you knew it wouldn't be the last, not as long as she was still in his life.

Nancy Wheeler was the reason behind all your problems, fears and insecurities. She was everything you weren't —pretty, smart, charismatic, popular— and even though her relationship with Steve had ended a long time ago, she still held the key to his heart. He was still in love with her and it seemed there was nothing you could do to change that. No matter how hard you tried to push her out of his heart, to replace her, it was all in vain. He would never look at you the way he looked at her.

Of course Steve wouldn't admit that out loud. When he was with you he would shower you with gifts and compliments, telling you how happy he was to have you by his side and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. But you knew those were half-truths. He did love you, but not like he loved Nancy. You didn't need to hear him say it to know it, you could sense it in his kisses and the way he looked at you. That special sparkle in his eyes when he looked at her disappeared when he turned his gaze to you.

You were his consolation prize, his second choice. He was with you because he couldn't be with her, you knew that from your first date. You knew he didn't love you but still you stayed by his side, keeping the naive illusion that someday things would change. You hoped you could make him fall in love with you over time, show him that he had nothing to miss about his relationship with Nancy. Unlike her, you did love him and you hoped that would be enough to make him forget about her.

Still, your relationship wasn't terrible. Most of the time you didn't even remember Nancy and all that she entailed since Steve didn't mention her very often. All of your friends agreed that you were a wonderful couple. You two loved each other and spent most of your free time together. Steve loved to take you on dates and give you gifts, although your favorite times with him were when you would lie on the couch and watch a movie cuddling, enjoying each other's warmth and company. You forgot all your worries when he wrapped his arms around you and held you close to his body, finding peace in the soft sound of his heart beating against his chest. The world around you ceased to exist in those moments, there were no fears or insecurities, just you and Steve.

The memory of those moments was what made situations like the one you were going through now more tolerable. You knew that Steve was with her while you were saving the leftovers from the dinner you had worked so hard to prepare. You knew that Nancy was once again the reason your boyfriend missed one of your dates, but you also knew that she didn't love him, not like you did. They didn't share those special moments you had. She didn't hug him tightly or talk to him as lovingly as you did. She didn't hold him at night, stroking his hair tenderly until he fell asleep in your arms. She didn't leave a little bit of her heart in every single thing she did for him. You did all those things. You and only you. Steve was dating you and not her. Nancy might still hold the key to his heart, but it was only a matter of time before she lost it to you.

When the phone rang you rushed to pick it up, hoping to hear your boyfriend's voice on the other end of the line. You smiled when you discovered that it was indeed him, momentarily forgetting all the pain you felt as you listened to his voice.

"I'm so sorry I'm late, I lost track of time." Steve apologized, sounding genuinely sorry. "I promise I'll make it up to you."

You were ready to forgive him and forget the whole thing, like you used to do when these things happened, but then you heard her voice in the background and jealousy took over you again. Nancy laughed in the distance, happy, while you climbed the walls of your house imagining what Steve could be doing with her for so long. It felt like she was taunting you, like she knew you were being killed slowly by uncertainty and it amused her. Your jealousy-blinded mind felt attacked by her, further aggravating your temper.

"It's fine," you said in a dry tone that denoted the complete opposite of your words. "Just get home soon."

He told you he loved you before he cut the call short, but you were too hurt and angry at the time for his words to soften your heart. You dropped onto the couch, defeated by the storm of conflicting emotions swirling inside you. You didn't know what to do, what voice to listen to. You loved Steve, but you honestly didn't know how much longer you could go on like this, missing him even when he was by your side, dreading every time she was near, competing for his heart.

You knew that he didn't love you yet, you could live with it as long as there was a possible future for you. You needed to know that all the effort you were making now was not in vain, that you had a chance at happiness. You needed Steve to assure you that he wasn't going to leave you for Nancy at any time. You were willing to keep working on your relationship, to bet on a future together if he was too. You wanted to think that you knew he did, that asking him something like that was silly since it was obvious that Steve wanted to be with you, but the truth was that you didn't. You knew he loved you and was happy with you, but you weren't sure he was as invested in his relationship as you were. And you needed to make sure you weren't wasting your time with him. You needed to know if Steve wanted to put his past with Nancy behind him, because nothing you did would matter if he wasn't willing to forget her.

So in the heat of the moment you decided to give him an ultimatum. Steve would have to choose between Nancy or you because you couldn't go on living in doubt. Jealousy and uncertainty were eating you up inside at all hours, slowly transforming you into a version of you that you didn't recognize. You didn't want to let your insecurities get the best of you, it was time to do something about it.

You had to put an end to your suffering, even if it meant ending your relationship with Steve. You knew it would hurt if he rejected you, but at this point you were convinced that anything was better than the damn uncertainty.

Part of you felt bad about your decision, thinking it was unfair of you to attack Steve with an ultimatum like that. But it was also unfair to live the way you did, so you tried your best to stick to your decision. You paced back and forth as you waited for your boyfriend to arrive, your mind full of fake scenarios about what might happen. You tried to stay calm, to not let your nerves get the better of you as you imagined the worst outcome, ignoring the voice in your mind that told you this was a bad idea. You decided to focus on what you would say to him, planning your words carefully so as not to sound too harsh but still remain firm. You wanted Steve to know that you meant business without coming across as overbearing since you understood that this was a difficult situation for him as well.

You had your speech all prepared by the time you felt the sound of the door. You jumped to your feet, approaching the entrance to greet Steve as you went over the words you had prepared over and over in your mind. ‘Stay strong, you got this' a voice in your head encouraged you, trying to calm the nerves storming inside you as the door slowly opened, revealing your boyfriend on the other side.

You tried to stand your ground, but all your anger disappeared as soon as you saw the remorseful puppy expression on Steve's face. He was looking at you with guilt in his big brown eyes and a pout on his lips, hiding part of his face behind a bouquet of red roses. He looked adorable, enough to make you forget all the words you had been memorizing for the last half hour.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I know you had a big date planned and I fucked it up, I'm sorry." Steve apologized, the regret clear in his voice. Suddenly, the anger and jealousy you felt minutes before was replaced by fear. Fear of losing him. Fear of never hearing him call you 'baby' again. Fear of never feeling his lips on yours or his arms around your body again. You couldn't lose him, not now when he looked so adorable and apologetic, willing to do anything to make up for his mistake.

"It's fine," you said, letting out a sigh, taking the flowers he offered you and bringing them to your nose to smell the scent.

"I love you," he declared, taking your face in his hands and joining your lips in a kiss. You knew his words were not true, not entirely at least, but you decided to ignore him for the moment, allowing yourself to get lost in the kiss. You decided then that you would let the fantasy continue for one more night. You could talk to him about your feelings in the morning, but right now you didn't want to fight. All you wanted was to hold Steve in your arms as you slept for one last time.

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington x reader angst #steve harrington x female reader #steve harrington #ro's 600 followers celebration

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talshiargirlfriend · 8 months ago

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Trip/T'Pol #7

a kiss to shut them up…

This has been languishing in WiP Limbo long enough.

Trip had been in perfectly good form at the gathering, and yet T’Pol had felt a sense of agitation that she knew did not belong to herself pressing against her awareness all evening. Her mate was troubled. Prior experience had shown he may not appreciate her inquiring about emotions he hadn’t actually expressed. She wondered if he was even aware of them. Humans seemed to share the Vulcan propensity for completely ignoring inconvenient feelings.

She and Trip planned to stay in a hotel overnight before meeting his parents for “brunch” the next day. He had professed great excitement at the prospect. Trip had introduced her as “Commander T’Pol, Elizabeth’s mother” and then paused a beat before adding “and one of my best friends” when she met his parents just over a year ago at her daughter’s funeral. Perhaps he was having doubts about introducing her as his mate -his romantic partner- this time. That would be unfortunate but understandable given their history.

As they made their way out of the restaurant they walked close together, close enough for him to surreptitiously rub his pinky finger against hers. Through the physical contact she could feel the thrum of his anxiety more strongly. Her concern increased.

Taking his hand fully in hers, she turned to face him, “Trip, is something bothering you?”

He glanced down at their hands, clearly startled that she was touching him in public. T’Pol felt a flicker of unease and dismissed it. She wasn’t doing anything inappropriate.

“Well, Anna’s leaving,” he said, as though that explained anything. His thought processes continued to prove baffling.

“You are… concerned about staffing changes?” She allowed a trace of her puzzlement into her voice.

“What? No. Uh, she’s leaving to get married, and that got me thinking… I don’t really know what your opinions are on the subject, but I always thought I’d get married someday.” He sounded wistful.

She eyed him warily. Did he no longer see that as a possibility? “I expected the same for myself,” she agreed a bit stiffly.

He didn’t seem to hear her.

“And this whole psychic bond thing seems pretty permanent. I mean, I guess I don’t know, but it feels that way to me.”

“To my knowledge, a bond of this nature typically endures until the death of one partner,” she agreed softly.

Again he continued without acknowledging her words.

“It wasn’t easy to get used to it, but I don’t think I’d feel whole now without having you, this sense of you, with me.” Trip sighed, “It seemed to work pretty well for Lorian’s parents. I know, I know, we’re not them, and we’ve been through a lot since we … would've become them- god, time travel is weird. Maybe too much has changed or not enough…”

He took a deep breath and continued, “Look, T’Pol, I love you, and I know you haven’t had the best experience with marriage,” he grimaced outwardly and she did so inwardly. “So the last thing I want to do here is put you under pressure, but … I want to marry you. I think we should talk about it. Things are really good with us and nothing needs to change, but it feels like it’s at least worth having a discussion even if —“

She cut off his accelerating flow of words with a kiss. After a moment of surprise he responded enthusiastically, raising a hand to cradle her head.

“Yes,” she said simply when they broke apart.

“Uh, yes to what?” Trip regarded her cautiously.

“Yes, you are correct.”

“All right, I like the sound of that. … What exactly am I right about?” he pressed with a confused frown. That expression would look well on her children one day.

“You are correct that it is logical that we should discuss marriage at this stage of our relationship… although it may be a brief conversation,” she conceded.

“Because you don’t want to get married?” he suggested. He tried not to show his disappointment. That’s what he had expected, after all. He made a good show of neutrality. She might have been convinced if she couldn't feel the ache behind his words.

“I did not say that,” she pinned him with a flat look.

His eyes widened. “Oh! Well. Then I will look forward to discussing this with you further,” he grinned.

“Trip. Do you remember when you encouraged me to ask for things that I want because my needs and desires are important to you?”

He nodded a little sheepishly.

She looked at him pointedly. “You should remember I have a vested interest in your happiness.”

“Because a happy engineer is an efficient engineer?” he grinned cheekily as he used one of her old excuses against her.

“Because you are my mate, and I love you.”

He blinked rapidly for a second and squeezed her hand. “That’s a good reason. I love you too.”

Quietly they made their way down the street.

“Trip?”

“Hmm?”

“I will not consider a ‘honeymoon’ in Cargo Bay Three.”

His amusement washed over her in a warm wave, as pleasant and familiar as his scent in her nostrils, the cadence of his footsteps beside her, and the weight of his hand against her own.

“That’s ok. I've got my heart set on visiting Andoria, darlin’, and I know you’d do anything to make me happy,” he retaliated.

“Within reason,” she amended.

“Well, that’s all a guy can hope for, really. Can’t wait to see the look on my mama’s face when I tell her we’re together…”

#fic prompts #star trek enterprise #trip x t'pol #tripol #fic #my fic #asks #I know it’s schmoopy #idgaf #trip tucker #t’pol

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ahiddenpath · 2 months ago

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Hidden's Life

Hi guys, I started writing a journal on my computer, as typing is a lot faster than pen and paper. I am sharing my first entry.

Content warning: It's about the "should I have a kid" debate, and it's way more political than what I usually post on my digimon blog. It gets into climate change, the financial and emotional cost of child rearing, and is leftist in tone. I am really struggling with this topic, and I welcome input and conversations. If you want to talk about it and we're pals on Discord, please do! I want to hear from as many people as possible.

The tone is bleak, but in a matter-of-fact way, if that makes sense?

So, I took a two week vacation. I was in Vegas for a few days for the first time, then in a cabin on a river. I’m not going to talk about that much here. Instead, I’m going to focus on life.

Whenever I have a few days off in a row with no plans (which is rare), I like to touch base with myself on where I am in life. I guess that’s what I’m doing here.

I will say that I’m feeling a lot more rested/restored by this vacation than I have been from my vacations over the last few years. Travel takes a ton out of me, and I’m sensitive to time zone changes and general shifts in routine. I’m surrounded by career scientists, many without children (aka people with money to travel), so it’s common to feel like I’m “missing out” or “doing it wrong” if I’m not visiting 1-3 international spots per year. It turns out that. Um. I actually really like the river cabin. Japan last year was amazing, but I came back jet lagged, exhausted, sick, and with a foot injury from power walking for 10-14 hours per day for 2 weeks. More chill domestic vacations may be the way.

But anyway, I wanted to write down my thoughts on the future.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here, so pardon me if I have, but… I’ve been dating my husband since we were 14, and we’ve been married for 11 years, together for 21. For nearly two decades, whenever I asked about children, my husband would shrug and say, “Maybe someday.” This year, for the first time, his answer changed to, “I’d like one child, but I’m not sure if it’s ethical.”

As for me, I’ve never been hit with maternal desire. In my early twenties, I assumed I’d marry my now husband, have kids, and be a stay at home parent. I’m not sure… Why I thought that? Other than that I have no career ambition, and my husband was raised by a stay at home parent. It feels a bit weird to say I lack ambition when I’m a career scientist, but it’s true. I just want to get the most money with the least effort and damage to my physical and mental health. I feel, on some level, I’ve been waiting my whole life for some kind of purpose or desire, but these days… I’m beginning to understand that wanting health and happiness is an amazing goal, and that humans aren’t necessarily meant to find fulfillment from our work. It’s okay if family is your goal! It’s okay if being a hobbit is your goal (being comfy, reading books, taking walks, etc)!

I got my first job when I was 15, I had to get my mom to sign a permission form, lol. I saved all my money and invested it as best I could, which was CDs (at the time they had like a 5% return, and as a teenager I did not really understand investing- that kinda remains true). My mom warned me from early on that she had no money to help me, and my father openly gloated about not being financially responsible for me soon. Like, he’d count down and update me every now and then- only five years until you aren’t my problem anymore, girl! Four years, three, two, one. He apparently still doesn’t understand why I went no contact with him.

I’ve never been laid off or between jobs, just. Working and preparing for a future where I was financially independent since I was 15. So again I wonder. Why??? I thought I would be a stay at home parent, lol! My husband is extremely intelligent, and he graduated straight into a programming job that pays more than I will ever make, so that might have been part of it. But when I got my new job 2 years ago, my package became competitive enough that I now actually… Have a career to lose.

What I’m trying to say here is that I feel conflicted about… everything. Why am I in this job that I don’t like, but I excel at and it pays fairly (or at least, it does since the new job two years ago)? Am I going to do this until I’m in my 60s because capitalism? Do I want a kid? Shouldn’t I know if I want a kid? But then, I can barely scrape together the brain juice to decide what I want for dinner most nights, after spending 8 hrs working and 90 min commuting. Is it any wonder I can’t bring myself to figure out if I want huge life changes or not?

Financially, my husband and I are doing well. We have a house, retirement savings, and we can afford our expenses on my husband’s salary alone. Mine is called upon for things we want, like getting a working shower in the master bathroom this year and the laundry list of smaller home improvements we paid for last year. But when you have a house, there is always more to do. Our roof is probably original to the house, which is 36. If I want our fireplace to work, that will cost at least a few grand. Our heater is too small for the house; if we want to use our finished basement more, we need to replace it with an appropriately sized one.

If I quit now, it will be difficult or impossible to do those things (and by the way, I feel like wanting a correct sized heater, a working master shower, a working fireplace, and a safe roof are not, like, super bougie??? God damn shit’s expensive). (And by the way, I'm aware that HAVING these problems is a privilege, and that is INSANE to me). If I wait too much longer, I’ll be unable to deliver a healthy baby (I’m 35). But if I’m going to have a baby, just one baby, then I want to spend time with them.

Meanwhile, there’s the ethical questions. I’ve searched online for: Is it ethical to have a child during the climate crisis? Interestingly, the hits were mostly about the impact each individual human has on emissions and climate change. Listen, sure, if you really want to be conscientious about it, don’t have more than 2 kids, which keeps your family’s population steady at the micro level. But damn, don’t be guilted out of a family, a totally normal thing, while a few corporations destroy the world for profit and tell you to have fewer babies. God damn! The mythos of the individual’s impact on climate change while companies burn fossil fuels for funsies is some high level con work, holy shit.

I’m not worried about my theoretical kid’s carbon footprint. No man, I’m worried about them having access to clean water, reliable power, food, medicine, and places to live that aren’t storm riddled, underwater, on fire, etc. Oh, and clean air. People who are sensitive to air born pollutants are already dying prematurely, and have been for years. The idea that people think climate change is something you “believe in” like fucking Santa Claus is absolute insanity to me. People are already dying, my brother in Christ.

So like, do I raise and rear this child to die early or have poor quality of life starting now, and rapidly declining? True, humans have literally always faced pressures: plague, economic strife, war, the threat of nuclear fallout, etc. We have babies anyway, partially because we don’t all have education and access to reproductive care, but also because having families is just. A totally normal desire, as is not having them! Having them does have an additional biological push behind it; organisms tend to feel reproductive pressure. It’s evolution’s super fun gift (/sarcasm)! In some ways, having kids feels almost necessary, as it makes people feel hope and desire for a better future. But there must be millions of kiddos existing now, and we’re not doing much to make the world more habitable for them on a global scale.

I want to take a moment to clarify that I am not judging anyone for having children. We should be able to have families. It’s insane that we’re facing these pressures, that so little is being done about it. But as someone who does not have any yet, I find myself grappling with these questions.

So yeah. A.) I’m not sure if I want kids, and my lifestyle does not allow much time or space for reflection. B.) I’m not sure if having children is ethical in the year of our lord 2024. C.) As much as I dislike work, I’m not sure if not working is right for me, either. It’s easy to fall into mental health issues without a structured routine. D.) I have a strong desire for financial security, and it was beaten into me from as far back as I can remember. What will the loss of my income do to my mental health? E.) While we can afford our needs on my husband’s salary, relying on one income is always precarious. Layoffs are a constant threat in tech, and injury, mental health crises, and death can come for anyone. F.) When I was in therapy, my therapist specifically advised me not to stop working and rely on my spouse’s income. I know this is good advice for women, lol! Like, truly, I do get it. My therapist knows about my drive for financial security and my strong support for women. I can say, though, that in 21 years with my husband, he’s never given me reason to doubt him. Not once.

I guess that brings me to another fear of having a kid. Obviously I’m terrified of pregnancy and childbirth, and my country has the worst maternal death rate of the developed world (like… by a long shot). I’m already unhappy with my body and my energy levels; bearing and raising a baby is not. Going. To help. But I’m also worried about the division of labor that goes into childrearing. I’m told Millenial men have made huge strides in combating the deadbeat dad. But when I grew up, every family I knew was held together by the mother. My father worked. He did not do anything else. He didn’t cook, clean, play with or watch the kids, do yard work, make doctor appointments, meet with teachers, shop for the family, chauffeur the kids around, any of it. He didn’t even buy Christmas presents for his own parents, my mom had to do that for him. Most of the households I visited seemed to function the same way. I know my husband wouldn’t do that; hell, as it is, he does more than I do, often in the 90 min per day that I spend commuting. But my understanding is that, when it comes to raising kids, women still take on more of the work on average. And I’m not even sure if I want one, lol!

And the other huge concern is the political scene. If Trump wins in November, or just… Idk, stages a coup or whatever, I… Probably won’t reproduce. As I understand, his proposed administration/Project 2025 is looking to defund public education, continue destroying the planet for the profit of a few people, and generally dismantle everything. I don’t think the country would recover within my childbearing years.

Basically, I don’t know what the hell I want. I suppose I can get another job if I lost the one I have, although I’m told competition is stiff. Once you have a baby, though, you uh… You have a kid, lmao! I admit that I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out why one would want a baby. The ‘ol pro/con list isn’t looking too great! Like, babies, okay? The good things (in my mind): as we age, we lose more people. It’s common and understandable to want more people to call your own, especially as we age and as life pulls us further apart from people we knew when we were younger. Some people experience reproductive drives, so there is a driving force. Cons: Pregnancy is body altering and life endangering, children produce a horrific and varied array of fluids, they’re sick all the time and make their parents sick too, daycare costs are a second mortgage for five years in my area, taking them to and from daycare and school around work is next to impossible, they make noises and run around (aka, incompatible with my stimulus issues), and I personally don’t have fond childhood memories or warm feelings about family, thanks to my own difficult upbringing.

This is one of those decisions that doesn’t logic on paper. I’m sure most people would say, “Oh, you don’t use logic for this sort of thing!” But then, like. Uh. What are you doing? I have a coworker who is maybe 15 years older than me who talked to me about people my age not having kids (uninvited, I might add, lmao). She was like, whenever I ask someone your age, they give me all these reasons about money and daycare and the difficulties of navigating work around a family where both parents have full time jobs. You just make it work! You’ll figure it out!

And I remember thinking, Ma’am, your youngest is 12. Daycare didn’t cost $2,000-2,400 per month per kid back then, and mortgages and rent were less. Like, sure, yeah, I’ll just have a kid and feed them hopes and dreams, no problem! Mm, delicious.

I don’t know, man. Sometimes I think about all the folks who will never have kids because they can’t afford them, and I feel so enraged. Or the rising infertility rates as our environment and foods become less healthy and our stress increases. Or I think about the people who have kids but can rarely spend time with them (and desperately want to) because they are trying to get the money they need to take care of them. And then there’s people like me, who are so goddamned tired and overwhelmed by their job that they have no brain space to even… Like… Figure out if they want a kid!

Well, there will be no changes until I see how the election and the possible coup go, so I need to put this down for now.

What a fun sentence.

#hidden's life

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