#since when are 30 y o seniors?

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

Kirk was 33 - 36 in S1-3 of TOS.

The fact y'all out here calling people in their mid 30s "old man" is what's really wild about this take. LOL

[skzhua]

listen carefully ('your eyes' series)

♡ "Do you trust me?"

pairing: bang chan x reader.

genre: fluff, a glimpse of angst, idiots-to-lovers.

word count: 8,659

warnings: swearing, drinking, slight angst, chan and reader are so oblivious (mostly reader).

summary: your first mistake was to major in music in college. your second mistake was to change classes and end up in bang chan's. your third was to accept his help to pass the class. your last mistake was to push him away.

a/n: not gonna lie, this one took me forever and i don't like it much, though i think it's still very cute. 2 scenarios done out of 8!

SERIES MASTERLIST

You looked back and forth from your schedule to the classroom in front of you. When you applied for a music major, you did not expect that this would involve sound testing classes. You wanted to sing and write lyrics, not do any of this producing shit. Plus, the course was scheduled from 8am to 10:30am. There was no way you would be doing whatever this is every single Monday morning for an entire semester.

With an elongated groan, you walked in the classroom and found a place in the back. You weren't even going to listen, so you plugged your earphones in and put down your head on your desk. You slept throughout the whole 30 minutes of course introduction and woke up when another student poked your sides. You immediately walked up to the teacher and asked if there was a possibility for you to switch classes. To your luck, one spot was still available in her afternoon course and you just so happened to have the rest of the day off.

In the meantime, you took it upon yourself to explore the area alone. You stumbled across a small coffee shop, so you decided you deserved to be caffeinated for your first day. After ordering a chai latte, you went on with your self tour of the campus. Taking a turn in a hallway, you collided against another student, falling on the ground in the process.

"Shit, I'm so sorry." you heard as you rubbed your sides.

Looking up, a hand was already extended to you to help you up. "Yeah, sorry too." you grunted, still in pain.

The man helped you gather your things on the ground and gasped at the sight of your lyrics book, that had opened during the fall. "Are those poems?"

"Sort of." you answered shyly.

“Can I take a look?”

You acquiesced, a bit reluctant. He scanned through the pages and nodded as he read. Pausing for some parts, he was very expressive from what you had written. You nervously waited for him to finish.

“It’s pretty good! It could be made into a song, you know?”

“That’s the goal.” you laughed out.

“Are you in music, too?” he gasped, excited.

“Yes, I just transferred here.”

He smiled widely. “Welcome, then.” Smiling back at him, you felt intimidated by the interaction. An attractive man speaking to you on your first day? What could be any better? “I have to go to class. I’ll see you around then.”

He left with a wink and you were a blushing mess by then. Your gaze lingered on his back as he walked further from you.

"Y/N?" Looking for the source of the voice, you spotted your dorm mate, Dahye with a girl walking next to her. "May I present you Byeol." she smiled as she introduced her friend. The latter looked unbothered as she waved briefly before going back on her phone. "So? How's the first day?"

You shrugged since you really didn't have much to say. "Fine, I suppose."

"I see you met Chan." Dahye wiggled her eyebrows. "The brightest music senior student."

"So that's his name, uh." you muttered to yourself. "I bumped into him, that's all."

"Oh, well. I'll see you tonight! We are running late."

And so were you. Checking the time, you had a brief three minutes remaining before the class started. You didn't even know where the course was given. As you rushed through the hallways, you finally found an auditorium where the same woman from the morning class was standing. Bashfully, you walked in the room and sat at the first spot you saw, excusing yourself for bothering.

This went on essentially exactly like the morning class. The teacher introduced the course plan and answered some of the questions. The topics were interesting. However, you had no clue on how you would be using the material in your future career. Throughout your life, you had always worked alongside your father for the music you made. He was a music producer himself, meaning you did not need to worry of this part of the song making process.

After the professor dismissed the students, you were slowly putting back your books in your bag when you saw a shadow stop at your desk. Smiling as his dimples showed, Chan and another man were standing right in front of you.

"It makes sense you're a music major." he chuckled. "This is my friend, Jisung."

You bowed slightly to the man who copied your move before stepping away a bit. What was it with people and introductions today?

"I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you were in your last year of college." you said, getting up from your seat.

"Ah." he laughed shyly. "It's a complementary class, I've actually done it already, but the teacher asked me to help out her other students, like this guy over here." he nodded towards Jisung. "I won't be here every class, though. I'm part of the music club so I have to deal with that as well. And I work part-time at the library."

The man was truly an exemplary student, being so dedicated to school. It both impressed and scared you. He kept on explaining what he does for the campus and mentioned a few people. He was very social and comfortable to converse with, it made you feel at ease. He also suggested to give you a tour of the place himself. You felt uneasy from being shown such kindness, but you gladly accepted his offer. Anyway, you'd had to make some friends at some point and befriending this social guy might be of a good help. Eventually, Jisung left the two of you to go home. Chan stayed with you as you tried to find your way back to your dorm.

"Do you need help with that too?" he joked, but you were sincerely lost.

"Please?" you pouted, making him chuckle.

"Alright, what's your dorm address?"

As you searched for it on your phone, a girl came up to Chan from behind. She back hugged him as she started to talk with him in a very casual manner. Chan ruffled her hair as he hugged her back, asking her about her day. Having found your dorm number, you stood still to wait until he was done with his small talk. He soon realized you were still there, so he introduced you to the girl.

"Sora, this is Y/N. She's in my sound art practices class. Y/N, this is my best friend, Sora."

"Hi! Happy to meet you!" she smiled at you warmly. She was the first person aside from Dahye and Chan to be more civil with introductions.

"Likewise." you smiled back before turning your attention back on Chan. "I can go find my dorm alone if you two want to hang out."

"No, no. I'll show you, don't worry." he said and gave a sad look to Sora. "Do you mind going without me for today? I'll join you later."

"Yeah, sure." she answered, but hesitation could still be heard in her tone. "Do you want Minho and I to order for you?"

"It's fine, thanks. Later?" he said, kissing the top of her head and she nodded before leaving.

"Maybe you should go? She looks disappointed." you pointed out while starting to head towards your dorm.

"She's fine. Her and Minho can be awkward when left alone together, that's all." he shrugged.

You didn't insist any more and walked next to him and he asked you a few questions about yourself. His presence was warm and you were almost disappointed when you had finally reached your dorm.

"Thank you for walking me home."

"No worries." Chan chuckled. "Again, welcome to the school. I'll see you next week, then?"

"Yeah, next week."

He watched you go inside before leaving. It was no surprise that you were alone since Dahye would always come late. For the time being, you pulled out your books and planned out your schedule. You added your new workplace you'd be starting to work at to your weekends. The small convenience store on the other side of the street was a perfect job while still being in your studies. It paid surprisingly good and the shifts were very flexible.

Dahye almost broke the door when she came inside, her heavy school bag dragged behind her. It was close to 10pm and you wondered what she was doing out so late.

"If Byeol makes me watch the three To All The Boys I've Loved Before again, I'm killing myself." she grunted before sitting on her bed.

"She doesn't seem like the kind to be into romcoms."

She gave you a look as she huffed. "It's her entire life, I swear. Like, I get the hype, but to this extent? No thanks."

You shrugged your shoulders as you went back to your agenda. In all honesty, you were the romantic kind as well. The only difference was that you had very high standards in relationships, resulting to you still being single. You had never dated someone in long term because you would sense it if the connection was off.

"I got some ramens at the store on my way here. Want to share?" Dahye prompted, holding two bowls of instant noodles.

So far, you had two friends in your list: Dahye and Jeongin. The boy worked at the convenience store with you and was still in his first year, but it was his second term. The thing you absolutely adored about Jeongin was how aware he was of all the drama happening. And by everything, I mean everything.

"That girl went out with Minho." he pointed to the girl Dahye introduced you as Byeol who was behind you in the cafeteria. "It's so weird seeing them eat together."

"Maybe they fixed things between them." you shrugged your shoulders.

"I doubt it. Look at how Minho looks at her."

You glanced briefly at the group and saw that, indeed, Minho had daggers in his eyes. "You're very invested in this." you laughed.

"Oh shit." Jeongin muttered, suddenly trying to hide behind you.

"What is it?"

He pointed somewhere and you met eyes with a girl walking alongside Chan and Sora. She was visibly uncomfortable and sticking closely to Sora. The latter was as clingy to Chan.

"Who's this?" you asked.

"Youngmi. She lives in the same building as me and she is the embodiment of ethereal, if you want my opinion."

You exploded in laughter as you started to tease the young man who couldn't help but pout as his face turned red. "Looks like Innie has a little crush."

"Say it any louder please." he joked. "I don't know, I saw her a few times and she gets all flustered when she sees someone she doesn't know. It's cute."

Eyes still on the trio, Chan caught you staring and sent you a wave as he smiled. He tugged Sora's side, arguing for a bit, before he dragged the two girls with him. Soon enough, they were standing in front of you and Jeongin. By then, Jeongin had frozen completely as Youngmi said a small "hey" to him. Freshmen love...

"Do you mind if we join?" Chan said, already in the motion of sitting down.

"Go ahead." you gestured the seats.

While he positioned himself on the chair happily, Sora seemed unsure in following her friend's actions. Nonetheless, she sat down and started to eat in silence as Jeongin and Chan exchanged in a calm conversation. You noticed she glanced at you a couple of times, but you ignored her. She also seemed to drift her eyes towards Minho's table, almost as if she was looking for help. The girl had always been nice to you. Although you wouldn't consider her as a friend, she had grown distant to you for the past weeks and you had a good idea as to why. You weren't blind, you saw how infatuated she was with Chan and you were not planning on ruining what was going on between them. However, consciously or not, she was visibly starting to see you as a threat.

"I talked with Mrs. Ko." Chan suddenly addressed to you.

"About?" you said while taking a spoonful of your soup.

"About you."

You choked on your food, coughing loudly in the process as your throat started to burn. Jeongin patted your back in a soothing way as an attempt to relieve your pain. Sora, on the other hand, was quick to pull out a napkin to clean the small mess you had made.

"What do you mean, me? What did I do?" you asked once you had recovered from choking.

Chan laughed nervously. "She asked me if I'd be interested in tutoring you."

At this, you exploded in laughter, Sora too. You weren't sure on why she was doing so, but you were laughing because you didn't think a tutor was necessary, even less it being Chan.

"What's funny?" he turned to the youngest pair at the table.

Jeongin shrugged. "I mean, do you even have time to tutor? You barely have any time for the guys and I."

"It would be during the class period." You groaned at his words, throwing your head back in frustration. "She said you're going to fail if you keep going like this."

"Come on, Chan. We're barely halfway through the term. I can manage myself."

"Not sure about that. You have halfway left that you can use to actually get better instead of barely passing."

You looked at Sora in search of any help, but she shrugged her shoulders and went back to her conversation with Youngmi.

"I'll think about it..."

"Think about it?" Dahye yelled out making you block your ears for how loud she was being. "Why would you think about it? You've got the hot senior offering personal tutoring sessions and you say no? Are you dumb or are you dumb?"

You sighed loudly and let yourself fall on your bed. "I don't need tutoring, alright?"

"Sure, you don't." she rolled her eyes and went to grab her bag.

"You're going somewhere?" you lifted your head up.

"Yeah, to the coffee shop. Do you want to tag along?"

"I would but I have a shift starting soon."

She waved you goodbye and you were left alone in the room. Taking this as a good time to revise your notes for your upcoming exam while waiting for your shift to start, you pulled out your lecture book and flipped through the pages. Your eyes were reading, but your brain couldn't seem to actually understand what was written. You tried with the next chapter, but the results were the same. Time was passing quickly so you brought the book with you to the convenience store.

When you walked in, Jeongin was already there on his phone, yawning out of boredom. The store was empty so you assumed it was a slow evening. You punched in and joined the boy at the counter. You dropped the manuel in front of you and Jeongin's expression went surprised as he saw the thickness of your book.

"What the hell do you study in this?"

"Sound stuff." you breathed out as you opened it, going back to the chapter you were previously analyzing.

"Isn't it the class that Chan said he could help you with?"

"Precisely." you hummed, not taking your eyes off the page.

He stopped questioning and went back to his game. The shift continued like this, in silence, with a couple of customers coming in once in a while. Still, there was barely anyone so the both of you eventually grew bored of studying and playing. Jeongin brought two stools from the back of the store so you could sit instead of standing up for the remaining two hours you had left.

"Do you have an exam soon?" he asked.

"Just a small quiz that is not worth much. I'd say I'm more worried about the final exam. I don't mind not getting A marks, but from what I read, I don't understand shit. Maybe Chan was right after all..." you admitted shamelessly.

He laughed at your words. "I knew you would say that sooner or later." You gave him a look, which only made him laugh more. "It's okay asking for help. And I swear Chan is a good teacher, he helped me with statistics once."

"I'll see. I might not ask him, though, Have you seen Sora the other day? I could swear she wanted to decapitate me just because Chan said one word to me."

"That's Sora for you. She's just protective of him. I don't talk to her much other than about Youngmi so I can't say how she is really." he shrugged and went to the slushie machine to make himself one.

"Ah, right. Your little crush on Youngmi." you chuckled. "How is that going for you?"

"You'd be surprised. I actually talked with her. She was having a hard time so I comforted her." he said proudly before slurping on his drink.

"I am impressed." you clapped your hands silently. "I bet she needs someone like you around."

The conversation was interrupted when Chan walked in the store, accompanied by Minho. They were seemingly disagreeing on something as Minho was rambling on with incoherent words. He stopped when he noticed that Chan was no longer listening, but was staring right at you instead.

"Hey." he coughed, once he realized he had been looking for a little too long. "I didn't know you work here."

"Yeah, been here since the beginning of school pretty much."

He made an 'o' shape with his mouth as he nodded before walking through the aisles. Minho walked behind him and started his rant again.

"This is a good time to ask him about the tutoring." Jeongin shot at you.

Your eyes widened to him. "Are you crazy? I said I'm not asking him."

"Why? Because you're scared of Sora?" he joked, but your face remained serious. "Oh shit, you are."

"I don't want her to think I'm stealing her man, that's all."

"So you're stealing Chan?"

You huffed. "No, of course not."

"He's not her man, anyway. Plus, he's the one who offered. Just tell him."

"No."

"Yes."

"Jeongin..."

"Tell him."

"Tell who what?"

You jumped at the sudden voice, almost letting out a yell until you noticed the two older men putting their purchases on the counter. Chan's look switched between Jeongin and you, waiting for you to answer.

"Yeah, Y/N. Tell who what?" Jeongin snickered as he leaned back, arms crossed and a proud look on his face.

You sent him a glare, but answered nonetheless. "Ask you about this tutoring thing..." you mumbled barely loud enough to be heard.

From Chan's grin, though, he had clearly heard you perfectly. "So you made up your mind?"

"It's not like I have a choice, really. I've been over the same five pages for hours and still don't understand shit."

While you continued your chat with him, Jeongin scanned their articles and made Minho pay as they were in a discussion of their own. Chan talked about how the tutoring would work, how you didn't have to pay for anything since the teacher was already doing so, how he wasn't going to give you homework other than some tests here and there to make sure you were following along.

"I won't remember all of this tomorrow." you laughed.

Chan immediately reached for his phone and put it in front if you. "Give me your number."

You raised an eyebrow, suspicious. "You're very straightforward."

"No, dummy." he chuckled. "So I can send you the information and plan out a lesson."

"Ah." you cough embarrassingly. "Right."

They left the store after you typed in your phone number in his phone. Unconsciously, Chan was still staring at your contact information, a silly smile that reached his ears on his face.

"Dude." Minho nudged his arm. "It won't disappear on its own." he mocked his friend.

Chan grumbled some curses to him and put back his phone in his pocket. They went back to his place for their usual hangout of the week and Changbin, his roommate, had already prepared a game while waiting for them to come back. At the coffee table, Minho sat next to Sora and Chan went to the dining room to pull out their groceries. Changbin's friend, Chunhwa, had been invited and helped the man to bring the food to everyone.

"Where is Jisung?" Minho asked, taking a sip of the soup Chunhwa had placed in front of him.

"He's probably comforting Hwayoung again." Changbin shrugged as he took the spot next to Chunhwa.

"If he keeps doing this, he'll end up in a deep depression." Sora commented and everyone around agreed.

"You're one to say that." Minho joked as the girl hit him, but Chan didn't get it.

Was she helping out her crush to get over someone too? If so, why didn't she tell him about it? Yes, Chan was that oblivious. Being too busy mothering his younger friends and with school, the least of his worries was romance. He did think of it from time to time, but he's always seen it as something for later.

"Alright, I'm blue this time!" Changbin announced as he picked up a pawn in the said-colour.

"I wanted blue." Chunhwa pouted and the man was quick to give it up for her.

"I'll be green, then." he sighed.

Sora and Chan exchanged knowing looks as the girl picked their usual colours, red and white. They started their game while eating and sharing laughs. Unlike others, the group preferred spending quality time instead of drinking until they blacked out. They would party, of course, but not as often as other college students. As the board game went on, Chan clapped his hands together and turned to talk with Sora.

"I talked with Y/N."

"And?" she said with a frown, moving her pawn on the board.

"She accepted my offer. I told you she would." he grinned.

Her reaction wasn't much what he had expected from his friend. Instead of joy, she looked sad, hurt almost.

"That's great." she forced a smile.

"Yeah, I'll text her the details later. It'll probably be once or twice a week. Depends on her level, honestly."

"Right." she nodded slowly her head. "Sorry, I have a headache. Minho, do you mind helping me get some medecine?"

Minho stood up immediately, reaching a hand to help her get up. "No, of course."

Chan frowned. "Are you alright? I can help if you want and-"

"No." she interrupted. "I'm okay, really. Thanks." she gave him that same sad smile before Minho led her out of the room.

Silence remained while it was Chunhwa's turn to play. She and Changbin were giving each other looks, something Chan couldn't exactly make out. Seeing that they were in their own world and that they had to wait for Sora to be back to continue on with their game, Chan took his phone out as he grew bored. The moment he opened it, your contact information was displayed on his screen, once again. For some reason, he instinctively clicked to open the message app.

Chan: Hey, it's Chan! I hope you gave me the right number, haha.

Y/N: Hey! Yeah it's me, haha. I didn't expect you to reach out so soon.

Chan: Me neither, to be honest. I thought about our arrangement and it can be twice a week if you'd like that instead of just during class period.

Y/N: Hmm, I'll have to check my schedule but yeah, it should be fine.

Chan: Great! I won't bother you for much longer now.

Y/N: You're not bothering, I swear. :)

Chan: Good. :) I'll let you know when we can start.

Y/N: All good. Good night!

Chan: Night. :)

"I'll go home, if you don't mind." Sora announced as she entered the room, Minho following behind.

"This early?" Chan said, putting his phone away.

"Sorry, I don't feel so well." she smiled, guilt seen on her face.

Chan stood up and joined her at the front door. "Let me walk you to your dorm, at least."

She shook her head. "Minho's coming with me already. Thank you."

"Alright." he said unsurely, hugging her tight. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Always. Good night Chan. Bye, guys!" she waved at the remaining pair before her and Minho took off.

Chan was still frowning at her weird behaviour, but he shrugged it off. Maybe she had a bad day. The weirdest part was how she stuck to Minho since they never were this close with each other. It might have changed without his knowledge. He went to help Changbin out with cleaning up and wash the dishes, Chunhwa tagging along.

"Do you mind if she stays the night?" Changbin asked.

"No, it's alright." Chan replied as he gathered his things to head to bed.

Locking himself in his room, he let out a long sigh before snuggling himself under his covers. Opening his phone, he saw your name lit up. He smiled immediately.

Y/N: Can't sleep. I thought this meme would make you smile when you wake up.

As the lessons kept going, you grew fond of Chan. He was nothing but respectful to you and was treating you like a princess, almost. He would always bring snacks, take breaks after some time to make sure you are not too tired, and he was insanely funny. He had started to be more attentive to your needs recently, and you could not help but hope he might like you as much as you liked him. But this was not possible, right?

You scrunched your nose as you listened to Chan explaining the material for a third time. You were amazed at how patient he had been with you. Your eighth lesson together and, yet, you still had no clue about anything in this course. Frankly speaking, you wanted to drop out, but Chan had insisted you continue with some speech about determination and shit. The coffee shop his friend, Seungmin, worked at was a cozy spot for your sessions. However, you had learnt Dahye's crush was the barista and she would almost always be there, trying to get his attention. It was close to sad to watch.

"I'm sorry, I really don't get it." you grunted, rubbing your face with your hands.

"Hey, it's fine. I know it can be hard to comprehend properly." he tried to reassure you while patting your back.

"You don't get it. If I want to make my own music, I should be able to understand, right? I suck." you grunted dramatically.

"Woah, there. How about I show you some concrete examples instead? I think it'd be easier for you." he suggested but you were still confused.

"Examples? We have the teacher's already."

"Yeah, uh, I could make you listen some of my tracks." he laughed out shyly.

"Your own tracks?" you exclaimed in surprised, eyes wide open. "Well, thinking about it, it makes sense you make your own music. Still, I didn't know."

"Yeah, I don't go around telling people." he added, blushing again. "I could show you right now, actually. Do you have something planned after this?"

You opened your agenda and scanned through your schedule. Your empty schedule. "No, the rest of my day is clear."

"Can I invite you over? My music stuff is in my room."

While the idea seemed appealing, you weren't convinced it was safe. Chan was a handsome man, and although you had grown closer with him, he could still be a fuckboy for all you know. The main reason, though, was that Sora would probably hear about it and you didn't want to hurt the girl by going over to her friend's apartment. Still, it was in the context of a class you were very much failing. At this point, you would take anything if it meant it would make you pass.

"Okay."

His own dorm wasn't far from yours. The walk to there was quick and you were standing in his kitchen before you knew it. It was neat for a boys apartment. Some exercise machines were installed, unsurprisingly since him and Changbin were visibly working out. There were a few takeout bags on the table as they would rarely cook themselves, but otherwise, it was one of the cleanest places you had seen.

"Do you want something to drink?" he asked, opening his refrigerator to serve himself a glass of water.

"Not for now, thanks." you smiled.

Chan led you to his room that was as clean as the rest of the dorm. He had made himself a work space for his music. On his desk, there were two monitors standing with a mixing console. He had placed a piano keyboard in the corner and a few different headphones were laying around the table. Right next to the desk was a microphone along with its isolation shield. He had a very good setup, you were almost jealous of it.

"This is amazing." you breathed out. "This stuff is brand new!"

"I saved a lot for it." he said, sitting down on his chair. He pulled his other one towards you. "Sit down, I wanna show you something."

You did as told and he started to look into his files, scrolling through them attentively. He spotted one and clicked on it. He waited a moment before playing it to give you time to put his headphones on. Once he started it, the track's intro started out beautifully. It had a soft melody, but it slowly turned into a more upbeat sound. The beat build up, until it dropped and you would lie if you said you didn't feel goosebumps at that moment. When it ended, you took the headphones off and stared at him in shock.

"You've got some freaking talent. I'm speechless, really."

"Thank you." he mumbled and blushed. "I'll play it again and I want you to pay attention to the different notes and sounds. Cover one ear only, I'll explain as it plays. Listen carefully."

Replaying it, he pointed out sounds and paused to explain. He did this for the next 40 minutes or so and, surprisingly enough, you had finally understood the material. It shocked you how easily you got it only from a few tracks made by Chan himself. His talent was undeniable and, if anything, it only made him more attractive to you.

"What is this one?" you said as you moved the cursor to a specific file.

"No not this-" Too late, you had already started to play it on his speakers. "... one." he finished his sentence in a whisper.

The ballad was powerful, and his lyrics were more relatable than you'd like them to be. So far, he had put only instrumental tracks. Needless to say you were dumbfounded by his voice. You were deep into the song, until Chan took the mouse from you and paused it.

"Hey!" you pouted.

"It's a pretty personal one." he justified, avoiding your eyes.

"Yeah, the lyrics are rough. I think it's beautiful. Sorry that I listened to it when you didn't want me to." you apologized sincerely.

"You think it's beautiful? I think it's a bit much."

"Not at all!" you argued. "I love it, really."

"Thank you."

An awkward silence filled the room, small tension building up. To wash it away, Chan clicked on a new file. It was a ballad, but it was much softer this time. He stood up from his chair and extended a hand to you. You looked at it suspisciously.

"What?"

"May I have this dance?" he said in a funny tone.

"Cringe." you huffed.

"Come on, you deserve a little break."

"And I dance like shit." you deadpanned at him.

"Do you trust me?"

You found it ridiculous, and cheesy. Without protesting, you still took his hand and he held you by the waist, swaying from side to side. You were uneasy at first, but grew more comfortable as he continued to guide your moves along the music. At some point, you hadn't realized how close your bodies were getting until you could feel his fast heartbeat with your head against his chest. You looked up at him and he already had his eyes on you. While this felt wrong, it was a feeling of safety. Before you could speak, the music changed to another one of his tracks, a more funny beat this time. You detached yourself from him and tried to find something to say quickly to ignore the moment you just shared.

"You make a lot of different genres." was all you could find to say.

It seemed to work as Chan started to tell you about his experimenting to find what style he liked better and which one fitted him the best. Eventually, the conversation drifted to a casual talk, learning more about each other. After listening to more of his songs, he had offered you to stay for dinner, but you refused. He had already made you go through a rollercoaster of emotions, you didn't know what was going to happen if you stayed any longer.

"You have everything?" he asked as he led you to his front door.

"Yeah, I think so. Thank you for today, it feels great to finally understand this stupid class."

He laughed before bring you into a hug. "Good. Tell me how the exam goes?"

"Of course."

When you were about to turn the doorknob, the door opened on its own. There she was, Sora, standing in the entrance with her eyes locked on you. You immediately felt like you got caught in the middle of a crime, although you had done nothing.

"Y/N." she said in a warm tone, making you feel bad how sweet she was still to you even though you knew how it must hurt her to see you with Chan.

"Hi, Sora. I was just leaving." You turned to Chan to give him one last smile. "See you, Chan!"

You didn't let him answer and left the place immediately. You were grateful for his help with the class. But now, you were stuck with guilt, longing, and a crush on a man who was already taken by a wonderful girl. You were fucked.

Ding.

"Anyway, so I came home and-"

Ding.

"For fuck's sake, Y/N. Just answer him." Jeongin whined.

"No." you said firmly. "So, as I was saying, I had just gotten home and-"

Ding.

You shut your eyes at the annoying notification sound. You had stopped your lessons with him unexpectedly when you realized you could be ruining a lifelong friendship. Plus, it would surprise you if he reciprocated even a tiny bit of your feelings. You told him you didn't need his help anymore and that you would rather focus on your other classes for now. He was understanding, of course, but you had stopped replying to his daily memes. He asked you if something was wrong, but you didn't answer. You had skipped the next sound art class to avoid him and had not left your room much since.

"Answer him." Jeongin whined again, louder this time.

"No!"

"He's my friend too, you know? I can just tell him how you're scared of your feelings." he threatened.

"You wouldn't."

"Watch me." he challenged you.

Ding.

You groaned and checked your phone and saw that, this time, it was a reminder that your shift was ending earlier for you to go do your exam. "I need to go. Cover for me?"

"Yeah, yeah." Jeongin rolled his eyes.

"And you better not talk to Chan."

"No promise." he grinned and you sent him a glare before taking off to head to class.

You bumped into a depressed looking Jisung when you walked in. He greeted you poorly, eyebags under his eyes and lazy movement. You would have asked if he was okay if it wasn't your final exam. Having studied like never before (and thanks to Chan's help, but we do not mention him at the moment), you felt quite ready, though your stress level was at its peak.

The questionnaire was filled with practice exercices and multiple choices. The teacher played sounds through the speakers for you to identify and describe them. You were baffled at how good you were doing, so good that you were among the first people to finish. Jisung was done not so long after you, so you walked out together, telling each other how you did on the exam.

"By the way, I wanted to make sure you are doing okay. You don't look so good to me, no offense."

He looked at his feet. "Yeah, I'm alright. Just..." He hesitated a little since you weren't close to him much, but at this point he didn't care. "Hwayoung and I fought and there is Chan's party tonight. I know she's going but I'm not sure if I want to face her yet."

"You should go."

His face lit up at your words. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do. You two are practically inseparable from what I see. I think it'll be a shame to not try to fix things up."

"You have a point..." he said and thought for a second. "Alright, I'll go. Are you coming, too?"

While his situation was very different from yours, it did have some similarities. You had briefly seen a message from Chan, inviting you to his party, but you didn't want to face him. Dahye had begged you to come, saying she would want at least a friend around since Byeol would most likely not be going. So when you thought about it for a moment, it might be a good moment for you to talk things out with Chan.

"I guess I can stop by."

When you arrived home, Dahye was nowhere to be seen. You noticed a note on your desk and she wrote that she went to Seungmin's to get prepared. Looks like you were going to get ready alone. Rummaging through your clothes, you picked out a nice short-sleeved shirt with a skirt to match with it. You didn't put on much makeup, nor did you do anything extravagant with your hair.

Jeongin: Dude, Jisung told me you are coming tonight?

Y/N: Yes, sir.

Jeongin: Youngmi is going and I was planning to confess. I need your emotional support.

Y/N: If you'll be my emotional support to talk with Chan, then yes I'll help you.

Jeongin: Deal! But for real, Jisung convinces you to come in two seconds and not me? Offended...

You could only laugh at the texts. You grabbed your belongings and walked out of your dorm, heading to Chan's. After a small ten-minute walk, you were standing in front of his door, nervous. You had not even thought of letting him know you were coming, you just showed up. Anyhow, you knocked on the door and waited for someone to let you in. Some time after, Changbin happily welcomed you in, showing you where the snacks, the drinks and the bathroom were. After thanking him for his kindness, you parted ways with him to join Jeongin. To your surprise, he was already talking with Youngmi and they seemed to be doing just fine. Jisung was there too, but he kept looking at his phone every once in a while, seemingly waiting for a text.

"Am I late?" you asked and Jisung shook his head.

"We pretty much all came in advance. Minho, Hyunjin, Byeol, Hyunjoo and Felix are missing." he shrugged and took a sip of his drink.

The room was already filled with some people from your classes, and others you had never seen before. You scanned the room as you tried to spot Chan, but your eyes stopped on Sora instead. She was setting the food on the table alone, so you decided to go see her, trying to make your way through the crowd. Once you reached her, you realized she wasn't alone. Chan was giggling with her about something as he was setting bowls of chips on the table. It took them a few seconds to notice you and greet you sweetly.

"HI! Y/N, um, wow. You made it! I mean, I didn't expect you to be here. I should, uh-" Chan rambled on cutely.

He was interrupted when Sora kicked his rib with her elbow before smiling at you. "Good to see you."

"You too. I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Of course not!" they both hurried to deny.

"I should go greet the others. Talk to you later?" Chan set his eyes on you, and left.

You were now alone with Sora as she went on with preparing the snacks. You offered to help, but she didn't let you. You weren't sure what to say exactly which caused a small silence to grow. Luckily, she was more talkative than you were.

"I really didn't expect you here. Chan had kind of given up after you ignored him."

Her words hurt you more than you'd ever admit, but she was right. "It wasn't intentional. I mean, I did purposely ignore him but I had reasons."

She shook her head to shush you. "I'm not asking you to tell me why, you must have had good reasons. I just..." she trailed off before taking a deep breath. "He told me about how you almost kissed and I'm just letting you know that Chan is not someone to play around with. I don't know why he likes you so much while barely noticing me, but I'm warning you. You don't know him like I do and I know Chan is going to prioritize who he loves first. I don't want this thing going on with you two to be hurting anyone."

Frankly, you did not know how to answer. You were lost on why she was telling you all of this. You only registered the parts where she said he liked you, that she liked him, and that she didn't want things to be hurting anyone.

"I came here to fix things with him." you said after thinking of your words. "I don't know the history between you two, and visibly you are closer than anyone here. If I hurt you in any way, I'm so sorry. I just wanted to pass my class, that's it."

"No, I-"

"It's okay, Sora. You two clearly have something going on. I know for a fact Chan doesn't like me like that and he's way better off with you."

You didn't even let her speak again, and left the party immediately. You felt your mind getting fuzzier and you couldn't think straight about this whole situation, you just wanted out. Among the pack of people, you kept on bumping into one person to another, apologizing constantly. You ended up bumping into Chan, to your luck. You didn't want to talk with him anymore, so you hurried to walk out, but he was quick to recognize you and stop you by grabbing you by the arm.

"You're leaving already?" he asked worriedly.

"I'm not in the mood for a party that much." you made an excuse up on the spot.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"Gosh, Chan. Stop acting like you care so much." you snapped at him, which made him let go of your arm. "Sora's waiting for you in the kitchen if you are wondering."

On that note, you left him standing alone, baffled and confused, and you head back home as tears built up in your eyes.

Dahye had invited you and Byeol for a little trip to the beach not even two days after the end of the semester. Before going back home for the summer and to avoid any possible interaction with Chan, you had gladly accepted. You were going to stay there for a couple of days only, but long enough to be enjoying the nice weather and the water.

While you were laying on the sand to enjoy the natural light, Byeol pulled out her phone to show you her messages with her boyfriend, Hyunjin. He was being a dramatic lover, telling her to not stay out in the sun for too long, to eat properly and to send him lots of pictures because he missed her. You were more than happy for her, but your heart stung. Chan had tried to reach out, obviously. This time, you had the courage to mute his contact and completely ignore him. You didn't have the strength to block him just yet. Maybe you were still hoping for something to happen with him.

"He said he'll paint the pictures of the sea that I sent him." Byeol commented, all smiley, as she put her phone away.

"That's adorable." Dahye said in a dreamy tone. "Although I would probably cringe if Seungmin pulled one like this on me."

The girls exchanged laughs and continued to chitchat about their romantic moments. Your mind wasn't fully there and you had issues concentrating properly. Eventually, the girls noticed and called your name to snap you out of your thoughts.

"Is it about Chan?" Dahye dared to ask, and Byeol gave her a look.

"Kind of? I should stop thinking about it. He's got Sora so everything is fine." you forced a smiled, but it didn't convince your friends.

"You should have talked to him. He fought with her that night." Dahye said, putting her hand on your shoulder. "And he thought of knocking at our dorm, but he chickened out."

You looked at her blankly and blinked slowly. "You didn't tell me this."

"It's not my place to do so. I'm sure he tried to tell you, but you've been quite ignorant towards him." she shrugged and from seeing your reaction, she knew she had to do something about it. "Look, just enjoy our time here for now and worry about this later, okay? Chan can wait a couple of days."

You nodded, agreeing that you were here to relax and enjoy, and not to fall into self-pity for the rest of your summer. Decisively, you repositioned yourself comfortably on your towel and did nothing but let yourself go with the sea breeze.

That night, Byeol and Dahye went to some fancy restaurant together close to the hotel you were staying at. You would have come too, but you wanted to go explore the neighbourhood instead. So after they left, you brought your camera with you to take some pictures around. It came to your mind that you could develop them and make a nice framed collage to hang in your room as a memory. With everything in your bag, you left the hotel and started your evening with walking in a park nearby. The trees were decorated with lights as well as the path. You snapped some photos, but upon seeing so many couples, you decided to change scenery.

A couple of streets away was an old-fashioned part of the town. There were many local shops opened and you took the time to stop at some of them, notably a small bakery. The woman was so sweet that she gifted you some cupcakes, not forgetting to compliment you on how beautiful she thought you were. Thanking her, you took the cupcakes from her and walked out of the store.

"She's not wrong, you know?"

You froze at the voice, sounding too much like a man you had grown to love over the past months. Uncertain if it was your mind tricking you, you turned around to come face to face with the one and only Chan. There he was in one of his many black attires and he had seemingly just stepped out of the bakery as well.

"If I didn't know you, I'd say you're stalking me." you joked once you had collected yourself.

"I would never." he huffed. "But I did ask some help from Dahye to have some time with you."

It was your turn to scoff. "You're unbelievable."

"I know, babygirl." he smirked and you would have punched in the air right then from how the butterflies he sent you made you internally squeal. "Mind if I take this stroll with you?"

"I do mind." you refused while you were actually dying to go on a romantic walk with him.

"I thought you trusted me enough." he acted offended and you let out a laugh, still not believing he was right in front of you. "Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Trust me?"

Lacking a response, you stuttered out incoherent words. Wanting to hide from embarrassment, you shut your eyes and turned on your wheels to go on with your walk. Chan was, however, determined to not let you get away again, so he ran to catch up on you.

"So..." he started, but you were still refusing to glance at him. "I think we should talk."

"How's Sora?" you asked nonchalantly.

"Y/N, can you not bring her up for once? She told me what you two talked about at the party. Wasn't she clear enough when she said I like you?"

Stopping on your tracks, you finally dared to look at him and you regretted it immediately. His eyes reflected nothing but despair, sadness and lust.

"She was trying to-" you started but he cut you off quickly.

"Everything she said was true. Except for the part that we would hurt each other." he took your hand in his and you wanted so bad to squeeze it back, but you couldn't find the strength to do so. "The first time I read your lyrics, I knew you would become someone dear to me. You're as passionate about music as I am, you are easy to talk to, although I would debate on that with how you had ghosted me. I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want you to push me away anymore, because I like you a lot."

"What about So-"

He laughed as to to interrupt you again. You were stubborn, for sure. "She's been involved with Minho for some time, she's got nothing to do with all of this."

He hesiated, but took a step forward to put his hand on your cheek. You had never seen him blush so hard and it was one heck of a cute sight. He brought your face closer and you leaned into his touch, foreheads now grazing against each other.

"I'm sorry." you finally spoke in a soft tone.

"Don't be sorry, just don't run away again."

"I won't."

That's all Chan wanted to hear. After containing himself since the moment he saw you in the bakery, he gave in and kissed you passionately. It had so much emotion and feelings into it. You could feel his sincerity only through his touch and it was enough for you to cry, but out of joy this time. He rubbed his thumb on your cheek to dry your tears off and pulled you closer to him. The scene could not have been more perfect. You were kissing your goddamn crush in the middle of a cute lively neighbourhood in the evening with the smell of cupcakes surrounding you. You eventually detached from each other, but still remained close.

"I assume this means you like me too?" Chan chuckled.

"Very much so, yes." you smiled.

"Can I take you out on a date?" he asked shyly and you sent him a smirk.

"This stroll you wanted earlier can be it."

He smiled like a child at your words and laid a kiss on the top of your head. "Sounds good to me."

taglist : @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @popcatx0 | @vanblack95 | @aestheticsluut | @thanxxskz | @minhoino | @fairywriter-oracle

Copyright © 2023 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[moonlight26posts-blog]

In Baltimore City, MD: Returned to the shelter: a quiet and gentle 12 y/o senior gal is looking for a life of love and leisure - BARCS, Baltimore MD

Boo Kitty- 12 years, altered female, 8lbs

FELV-/FIV-

Update 12/26: Despite reported inappropriate urination in the foster home, Boo Kitty has been consistently using the litterbox since being returned to the shelter.

12-year-old Boo Kitty has a gentle and peaceful demeanor, and would make the perfect parallel play friend. At her age, she is practical enough to want her own space while calm enough to politely invade yours. When she wants love, she’ll show off her crispy meow for pets. She especially loves having her cheeks rubbed. She loves being brushed and won’t hesitate to ask you to keep going with a gentle touch.

Boo Kitty is a sweet cat that prefers to spend her day in a quiet environment or cuddled up with someone. She’ll stay in the room with you all day and will only roam for a little at night before she comes back to you.

In Boo Kitty's previous home, she felt a bit nervous around other animals and children, so she would thrive as the sole pet in a quiet environment. If you're seeking a serene and loving companion, Kitty might just be the refined lady you've been searching for.

In November, Boo Kitty underwent a full mouth extraction to address her many broken and severely infected teeth, and she's been on methimazole to control her thyroid levels, so we know she has to be feeling much better than she did several months ago. She was also recently returned from foster due to inappropriate urination. A UA showed no signs of infection, so we're continuing to monitor for now.

No senior should spend their days in a shelter, and sweet senior Boo Kitty is of course no exception. She'd love to have a home by the holidays.

Please let us know if your organization can help!

Thank you,

The BARCS Rescue Team

Baltimore Animal Rescue & Care Shelter (BARCS) ​New Address! 2490 Giles Rd, Baltimore, MD 21225 rescue@barcs.org| (410) 396-4695

Rescue pick-up hours: Monday-Friday: 10:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday: 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m

Adoption hours: Monday-Friday: 2 p.m.-6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday: 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter, Inc. (BARCS) | 2490 Giles Rd, Baltimore, MD 21225

[in-my-heads-posts]

Summary: This is a story of two colleagues who are in love with each other but are unaware of the other's feelings. Let's see how they come together to hold each other's hand forever.

Y/n POV

I was walking down the street when I saw a couple holding hands and talking while smiling. Everything does feel like heaven

when you are with the person you love so much. I blushed at the thought of remembering mine.

Taehyung......his name is as preety as he is. Since high school, I never had a friend, not that I wasn't that social one, everyone was

just, like being with me for their own benefit. I never had a true friend. But now I got one. He's my best friend. I chuckled as I

remembered he's the only friend I ever had.

I know I shouldn't think of him as a romantic partner but I can't help it. I know we'll never be together. He's so handsome and talented, and ofcourse a gentleman.

There are so many girls he meet on daily basis and much better ones than me.

When we are together, it feels like I'm living the happiest moment of my life.

He's always so attentive when I have to tell him something.

He's a playful, helpful and courageous person. Everyone would love to be with someone like him.

As I was lost in my thoughts, I saw a shop of jewellery. There were beautiful accessories for men and women. I entered the shop, wanting to buy something for my dear friend. I walked

here and there, imagining what will suit him.

And there......I saw a watch.

I took the box and placed it on the counter. The guy at the counter wrapped it and after the payment, gave me the receipt.

After taking the bag, I left that place with a big smile on my face. I can't wait for tomorrow.

Next Morning

I wake up with the annoying

sound of alarm. Oh no, there's only

30 mins left for office. Without eating my breakfast, I got

ready and put the small present in my bag and left.

Thank god, I reached at time. After signing my attendance, I took a seat and started working on my computer. After a while, I saw Taehyung walking towards me.

I smiled at him and he greeted me.

Tae: "Good Morning"

Y/n: "Good Morning."

He smiled and said while putting down some files.

Tae: "These files have the names of workers that started working here from 2018. Mrs. Min wants you to analyse their data, and arrange them according to this list."

He handed me a list signed by our boss, Mrs Min.

Y/n: "Ok"

I said with a assured smile.

Tae: "Are you free this evening?"

Y/n: "Yeah, why?"

Tae: "Let's hang out today. It's been weeks I didn't got time to move out. So are you coming?"

Y/n: "Yes. But where are we going?"

Tae: "Umm......what about Park Soju Shop?"

He said in a teasing way.

Y/n: "No...."

I blushed as I remember how I ended up last time we went there.

While leaving to my house, I cursed my senior colleagues and Taehyung made a video making fun of me over how I was talking shit at that time.

Tae: "Please.....I will not let you drink that much and will walk you back home safely."

He's doe eyes, no I can't refuse.

Y/n: "o....ok"

He smiled and left while saying "great"

It took 2 hours for me to complete this task. I stood up and felt my legs stretched. I started walking towards Mrs. Min's office.

I knocked on the door.

Mrs. Min: "Come in"

I walked inside.

Y/n: "Good Afternoon Mam"

Mrs. Min: "Yes?"

Y/n: "These are the results according to the list you sent me in the morning."

She took it and read everything carefully.

Mrs.Min: "Great. You can leave now."

With that I bowed down and left her office.

I went back to my place and completed the rest of the work.

After a while,I looked at the clock, and it was time to leave. I packed my bags and left.

As I was moving out, I met Taehyung.

Tae: "So when I should come to take you?"

Y/n: "Maybe at 7 pm. I at least need 2 hours to rest boy."

Tae: "Me too."

We laughed together remembering how much hard work we did.

I came home and threw myself on the bed. After eating my meal, I took out my phone and

saw I forgot to give him a

present. I thought of giving it to him tonight.

After seeing some social media, I slept.

After waking up I took a shower and got ready. I wore light make up and comfortable clothes.

With that I left my house and started to walk down the streets.

I saw Taehyung walking towards my house.

Y/n: "Hey"

Tae: "Hi, Do you wanna go this way or that one?"

He said while pointing at the directions.

I am mesmerized by his beauty right now......oh we can go anywhere you want.

Tae: "Tell me...."

Y/n: "Huh.....?"

He chuckled at my expressions.

Tae: "Let's go that way"

He hold my hand and started to run. We both are smiling as we were running. I wanna run away with him. I love him so much.

After few drinks at the shop

Y/n: "You are so lame. Hahaha"

I was laughing hard as he was losing the game.

Taehyung got embarrassed and blushed at me.

He hit the cap so hard that it hit the other table's person.

The guy was cursing at us, but who cares.

Y/n: "Let's go out. I can't see his face anymore."

Taehyung laughed at bit and we both came out.

Tae: "That was fun. Did you saw his face....?"

He said while mimicking the guy.

We both laughed at his expressions. From inside I was really happy because that smile of his is so lovely. He heals me this way. I stopped as I wanted to say something.

Tae: "What?"

He said with a smile.

I took out a small box from my bag.

Y/n: "This is for you."

Taehyung looked amazed as I said that.

Tae: "Really.....Can I open it?"

I nodded at his question.

He opened it hurriedly and threw the wrapper in the near dustbin. As he opened it, I saw him gasping.

Tae: "Y/n......"

Y/n: "What?"

Maybe he didn't liked it .....

Tae: "Y/N THANK YOU!"

I saw a bright smile on his face.

Tae: "Oh god......I wanted this one.....the same one for months. I saw it online but it was sold out. It's so great."

He wore it on his wrist.

Y/n: "I'm glad you liked it."

I was amazed but happy at my choice.

Tae: "Thank you Y/n. You are so lovely. I love you!"

Y/n: "Really?"

I playfully said and was about to walk forward.

Taehyung hold my wrist and said

Tae: "What if I'm serious?"

I looked at him, the smile was gone. He looked dead serious.

Y/n: "What do you mean?"

As I was a little drunk, I didn't want to lose my shit.

Tae: "Don't say like you didn't find out?"

Now I'm confused.....what is he talking about?

Y/n: "What are you saying?"

Taehyung came a little closer. My

heart is right now beating on its max level.

Tae: "Y/n, I wanted to tell you this from a long time..... The day I first saw you I liked you and as we are becoming close friends, I

can't hide it anymore."

My eyes started to tear up as all the love that I was holding back started to overweight my heart.

Tae: "Y/n I don't know if you like me or not, but I really love you....

I just wanted you to know this."

With that he was about to walk away when I held his arm.

Y/n: "I love you too Taehyung-shi"

He looked back at me.

Tae: "Reall-"

Before I could think twice, my body wrapped itself around him.

Y/n: "I love you Taehyung-shi, I love you so much."

Taehyung held my chin and said with a soft smile.

Tae: "I'm glad you do..."

With that we both smiled at each other.

Tae: "So Kim Y/n, Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

Y/n: "I would love to"

We both looked at each others eyes and kissed each other.

With that we both walked down the street just like the couple

I saw yesterday and it really felt the way I thought it will.

It feels like heaven with you my love 💕

THE END.

[boyfhee]

i will never give you any warnings (゜ロ゜) hehe, you got what rank, 6k and 676 marks, cae didi i could never. have a huge respect for you and i wlnder how much you might have studied and worked hard for it. such a scam :(

my dad bought a management seat, but the admission office said to apply for counselling in rounds 1 and 2 so that we can get fees concestion. by admission was done yesterday, and could you believe that i saw final year students in the seminar hall, they wore their robes but i dont think it was graduation.

i saw a senior rome around the campus bunking classes, lmao and that dude was my dad's friend's friend son :-O such a surprise. i actually took cse course, just pure cse no ai or ml or ds.

for my dad, half off the tension have been cured and next is my sister's who want to join bipc (-)_(-) lol my dad is saying she won't study but now that 30% of the syllabus has been removed (is it 30% or just a few chapters..) i think it would be easy to get seat in our state rather than joining aiims 🥲

well, let's talk about me and only me 🤭 i had dreams of becoming a doctor, but sadly, i have fear of blood and needles like injecting them on someone. i gave on the last minute and join mpc. never knew my life would be this messed up haha 🙃

jay, did you see his new segment – jjong ddu ddu, he is so cute. he is y(our) ddu ddu 😭🫶🏽 i love him so much. also since when were you an enha stan and when did you get into kpop??

— lover club anon <3

PLEASEEEEE i was fighting demons while preparing for this and this is what i get in return TT i think bio comes to me naturally, which is one reason why i chose this field, but phy and chem were the real challenge and gave me the hardest time ( but i have improved a lot which is the main thing here )

and i would love to give more tips on counselling but i barely have any TT my dad usually keeps a check of these things— he literally told me to focus on studies and he will handle the rest, i love him :> also cse is fun ! again, i'm not very knowledgeable about it since that isn't my field, but i enjoyed coding and studying cs in highschool. html was my thing, but python...can it die :/

also good luck to your sister with pcb ! it's true a lot of chapters have been removed, but a bunch of stuff has been added as well, especially the practical skills— which are being asked in these exams. it's going to get worse in the coming years with the amount of students that appear for neet, but i hope your sister makes it through nonetheless. and also wishing u good luck for college :D

and omg luckily i do not have fear of anything but i'm scared as hell because what if i faint in front of the cadavers ㅠㅠ plus i absolutely cannot stand formaldehyde. but it's okay, there are a lot more fields for you, i hope you have fun studying and working in them ><

also, i haven't had the time to watch jong ddu ddu ( what a cute name, by the way ) but i've been seeing pics and clips all over twitters. he's so adorable and bf coded aaa >///< i got into kpop around 2018 i think ? and have been an engene since dimension : answer era. what about u :O

[masongrizchel]

How It All Started From False Hopes 🌟

This is a personal story of mine. 🌟And ...

It all started with false hopes. ���

​One of my high school teachers offered help for me to take an entrance exam. During my last days as a senior (4th year), I was wondering how my future would go. Unsure of what the future holds, whether I will go to college or not. The thoughts of not being able to study gushes like waves at high speeds. But the reality that the moment presents is that I CAN'T (financially). I was overwhelmed by finding all the means and resources that I could use to maximize that time. 💭

I was able to take other entrance examinations to other universities both local and private from the earnings that I was able to collect. And fortunately, I passed. But it wasn't good enough. I haven't considered the transportation expenses as well as the extra money needed for food and internet access. This was one of my early financial constraints. No one was there to support me but myself. I CANNOT ENTER COLLEGE. Tuition fees that need to be settled every semester are costly. The chance of making my dream come true is to pass the entrance examination that my teacher asked me to take, which is also based on the student teacher who observed us at that time. 💸

This mind-blowing thought of going to college, to me at least, is too ideal. I have this idea rushing as I walk the approximate 3-4 km distance from my place to school. I also imagine myself wearing school uniforms from different schools which I took entrance tests. 🚶‍♂️📚

Time Skip: Enter graduation 🎓

The school year ended, but still the mindset that I can no longer enter college is realistic enough that made me lose all the possible means and hopes. Two months have passed after the examination. It is around 5 pm when I decided to walk from my place to somewhere and decided to gaze at the list of passers.

In front of the university admissions building approximately 10 meters, I saw the bulletin board with almost 30-40 pages of paper with names from A to Z.

As I walk, my heart rushes.

tug dug

tug dug

tug dug

The board becomes clearer and clear. I stood in front of it. And took a deep breath.

A

B

C

D

E

F

G familiar names appeared

H

I

J

K

L

still wondering why some of my friends didn’t passed

*I skipped M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

The nervousness increased

I browsed at M. Then, surprise. I saw my name. I qualified, I passed. This boosted my motivation to find means to enter college. But realty is too frank to make me realize that it is impossible. And it is the sad truth. 😳

Time flies, someone offered a help. I accepted it. I was able to push through. I gave up my work as a school canteener in the school where I obtained my high school diploma. 🤝

Finally I was able to enter college. I just wanted to finish my degree and uphold the dreams that I have during that time. I also imagined my self to graduate with Latin Honors. But 1st semester of my first year destroyed that dream. Hahaha! I received a grade of 2.75 in English 1. 📚😅

The sole reason is my tardiness - attendance affected my grade in the subject mentioned. The class starts at 7:30 am, and I arrive at 8:01 am. I struggled in academics, due to lack of interest (especially some of the gen ed subjects). I enjoyed the major subjects (physics, chemistry, and earth science). 🕒

Two years … Three years … Four years have passed. Time flies so fast. I felt that the content that I obtained is insufficient for me to become a fine astrophysicist. Since I also loved different learning opportunities outside the classroom. I met various people. I wanna become part of the community that they are in (and it is the science community). 🌌

I suffered a lot, mental, emotional, and intellectual. My math and physics is insufficient. I jumped from high school physics to graduate physics which demands familiarity with (1) Differential equations, (2) Integral Calculus, (3) Trigonometry, (4) College and advanced Algebra, (5) Linear Algebra. 🔢

So far so good, I was able to cope up, Not fully, but familiarity took time. I learned advanced math when I entered grad school. And I’m very thankful to learn so much things from great professors that shaped my view about the values of learning. The essence of passion, perseverance, and determination to chase your dreams. And dream further once you achieve a dream after dream. 💪

Sometimes, dream starts from false hopes. But when you turned that falseness into truth. We can essentially make things possible as long as you live the dream and take appropriate actions to turn it in to reality. Life itself is bounded by choices. It is our choice to become the person who we really wanted to be. This kind of existential crisis defines our very own existence. There should always be a start, there should always be a turning point. This will help you out reach point A to your desired point B. 🛤️

Oh well gotta do some graduate student stuff. (By the way, I got shortlisted for the Ph.D. Astrophysics and Data Science - Artificial Intelligence program), hopefully, they'll reach out and fund my research proposal. 🎓🔭

Yosh! 💪

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

Chapter Three: Understanding

Chapter 3 is finally here!! I have enjoyed writing this chapter so much especially because of all the topics it covers! I have loved it so much and it definitely is my favorite in this story so far 🥹✨ Come talk to me after you read and tell me what you think! All the love 🤍 Mar

Disclaimer: In no way do I wish to spread hate or negative opinions about any of the characters here depicted, this is just fiction and with the purpose of entertaining you guys

February 14, 2022 – March 13, 2022: Month Three

October 16, 2014

Boston, Massachusetts. 7:35 AM.

The smell of coffee was welcome on this fall day, for once I had made it on time to Professor Jameson’s class and was able to buy my coffee. The class started filling up with students from all over campus since “Political Analysis of the 21st Century” was a common core subject for a lot of majors and minors, including mine.

After a series of arguments with my parents they agreed to let me get my bachelor’s degree with a major in Communications and a minor in Graphic Design, and so far, I have loved every single moment. Upon the recommendation of juniors and seniors I decided to get done with the common core subjects first, hence the reason I was here sitting at one of the biggest halls at Boston University waiting for my professor.

While I was reviewing my notes someone cleared their throat, I turned to look at him and I had to hold my breath, he was tall and lean, head full of loose curls, brown eyes full of kindness hidden behind a delicate frame and a smile to die for, “Hi, are you Y/N?” I stared for a few before I cleared my throat and nodded

“Yeah, that’s me”, his smile grew bigger if that was possible, “We got partnered up for the midterm project, I tried to catch you last class but had no luck”, I chuckled, “Yeah, I tend to get out as soon as I can, but thank you for reaching out”, he nodded and took the empty seat next to mine, “No problem, hey why don’t you give me your phone so we can work a schedule or something”

I nodded and reached into my bag for a post-it, scribbled down my phone number and handed it to him, he smiled before speaking up in a half whisper since Professor Jameson had arrived, “Thank you, I’m Matthew by the way”, I smiled, “Nice to meet you Matthew”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 12:30 PM.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt someone squeeze my arm, I opened and closed my eyes wanting to make sure I was not dreaming, however when I opened them, I came across the smile that a few years ago had me weak on my knees, Matthew chuckled before speaking up, “I’m sorry, I guess old habits die hard”

I chuckled, “How are you? It’s been a few years”, he nodded before asking, “About four or five I reckon?”, I nodded. Harry then cleared his throat and I turned to see him, he had a strained smile on his face and was silently asking who the man standing in front of us was, “Oh! Where are my manners? Matthew this is Harry”, he smiled before offering his hand to shake, “Harry it is a pleasure to meet you”

He nodded and curtly answered, “Yeah you too”, they both pulled back before I cleared my throat, “So, do you live here now?”, he nodded, “Well not really, I’m in the process of moving”, a ding from his phone had him checking the message before sighing, “I’m sorry, I have to go, but I hope to see you soon yeah? Maybe catch up?”, I nodded, “Yes of course”, he nodded before turning to look at Harry, “Nice to meet you Harry”, Harry gave him a tight-lipped smile, “You too”

And as he pulled back, I felt myself get lost on memories before Harry squeezed my hand, “Hey, everything okay?”, I smiled at him and nodded, “Yes baby, just surprised I guess”, I cleared my throat before squeezing his hand back, “Shall we?”, he nodded and reached to kiss my temple while we made our way to the museum.

February 20, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts. 9:30 PM

The party was in full swing when the girls and I got there, Chelsea went to look for her boyfriend while Cassie and I searched for Otto and Davie, the four of us were studying communication and had become a very close group of friends. A few minutes later we could see Otto’s blonde man bun and standing next to him was Davie with his favorite Red Sox cap and beside him was another tall man.

When Otto saw us, he smiled and waved to us, and as we were making our way to where he was standing Davie and the mysterious guy turned, and when he did, I stopped in my tracks, it was Matthew. I could see a flash of recognition and a smile on his face before he smirked, “Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite partner”, I laughed before saying hello to them and pulling each of them into a hug and stopping to stand next to him.

“It’s good to see you! How have you been? How is junior life treating you?”, he smiled and nodded, “Good, good, working on my dissertation and final credits, and you? How is freshman life?”, I sighed, “It’s interesting, but I cannot wait for it to be over”, he laughed, “Oh you’ll regret saying that soon”, I smirked, “Speaking from experience?” he nodded.

I did not realize but soon enough we were left alone, and we decided to go sit to the back patio next to the bonfire where we delved into a conversation about anything and everything. And as we were sitting there, I realized I could get used to this, conversation on never-ending topics, a feeling of ease and well, looking at his handsome face. I was pulled back from my thoughts when Cassie made her way to me, an apologetic look all over her face

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but we have to wake up in about four hours so we should sleep”, I stood up and nodded before turning to look at Matthew, before I could speak up he blurted, “Go on a date with me”, my heart started beating faster after he said this, I pretended to ponder for a few before giving him a small smile and nodding, “I would love to”, he smiled

“I’ll text you the details, yes?”, I nodded and reached in to place a kiss on the corner of his lips before making my way to where Cassie was waiting for me, after we linked our arms, I turned to see Matthew standing there and waving, I gave him a wink and turned back to see where I was walking to.

February 13, 2022

Harry. London, England. 5:00 PM.

Our date at the museum had been everything I expected and more; I had forgotten how much I enjoyed visiting museums and especially with her and being able to share our passion for art with Pippa was everything I ever dreamed of. After we finished visiting the exhibitions, we went to the gift store and bought Pippa a few books and puppets so we could play with her.

We stopped at the café so we could grab a drink and let Pippa feed, and while we waited for her to be done, we discussed what we wanted to do while we were still here and what we would need to get done before leaving for Coachella. About forty minutes later Pip finished feeding and after we made sure we had everything, and she was buckled back in her carrier we made our way to the car and headed home.

Tonight, was bath night and it was Y/N’s turn, while she was busy bathing the baby, I handled the laundry we had definitely been neglected these last few days. I had just finished putting away the last of my t-shirts and changed into some sweats when the bathroom door opened and out came my girls, I smiled and went to grab Pippa from her arms and kissing her cheek multiple times, “Hi little bug, oh you smell so nice! Did you thank mumma for your bath?”

Y/N smiled and went to the closet to change into some cozy loungewear, when she came out, we headed downstairs for our evening routine. Rain had started to fall since we got home which had us cooking some Minestrone soup and garlic bread for dinner and while everything was ready, we sat down in the living room, Pippa was laying on my knees and Y/N cuddled to my side and started playing with her tiny hand.

There was a question that had been nagging me since we ran into Matthew a few hours ago, and truly I did not want to ruin our day, but I knew that if I kept quiet it would not be good, so I took a deep breath, kissed her forehead and half whispered to her, “It was him, wasn’t he?”, after a few moments of silence I felt her nod her head.

I swallowed the lump of anxiety I could feel was stuck in my throat before speaking, “Do you… do you want to talk about him?”, she nodded again before whispering, “Let’s eat and put her to sleep and then we’ll talk okay?”, now it was my turn to nod and kiss her head in reassurance while she cooed at the baby who was enthralled with the attention that she was getting from her mumma.

August 20, 2015

Boston, Massachusetts. 2:45 PM

My plane had just landed and the only thing I really wanted to do was run to Matthew’s apartment. He had been in Washington for the whole summer working, we had been able to see each other a few times but truly it had not been enough.

After that first date back in February we had continued to see each other until he asked me to be his girlfriend in April. May brought the end of the semester and a few tears with a promise to see each other during summer and a much-awaited reunion in August. Once I got out of the plane I ran across the airport and picked up my bags in baggage claim, ordered an Uber and made my way to the dorms.

I dropped my bags and decided to take a shower before leaving to see him; however, a knock on my door had me furrowing my brows and quickly running to open it, when I did, I found Matthew standing there, a bouquet of daffodils in his hand and a smile adorning his face.

I smiled before letting him in and pulling him into a hug, “What are you doing here?”, he kissed the top of my head multiple times before muttering, “It’s been too long Birdie, I missed you and couldn’t wait”, I smiled and nuzzled into his arms before kissing his pec and pulling back a little, “I missed you too hot stuff”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 7:30 PM.

After we finished eating dinner and cleaning the kitchen Harry said good night to Pippa and I headed upstairs, I sat down in the loveseat in our room and started feeding her; as I did, I took the time to grasp the fact that she now was two months old, her personality was definitely showing through, and she is starting to look like a complete mix between Harry and me.

After a feeding, a diaper change and a little sway and kisses she was fast asleep, I settled her into the cot, turned on the monitor and headed downstairs to meet Harry, I smiled when the smell of apple and cinnamon filled my nostrils, and my suspicions were confirmed when I entered the kitchen and found him brewing some apple cinnamon tea.

When he saw me come in, he smiled and handed me the big cup we had made a few years back during a pottery class, it was definitely well loved and held a lot of memories. We turned off the lights in the kitchen and settled in the T.V. room, the fire was on, and soft music played throughout the speakers.

And as we sipped our tea, I took my sweet time studying Harry’s look; there was something bothering him, and he was conflicted about it too. I could bet it had to do with Matthew and the run-in we had today, but as I had learned with Cece my therapist, I would need to let him speak and not pressure him to do so.

We sat there in silence for a few before he spoke up, “Were you shocked?”, I turned to look at him, “Hmm?”, he gave me a small smile, “Matthew, were you shocked you ran into him?”, I sighed and nodded, “Very”, he nodded too before taking a sip of his tea.

March 25, 2016

Boston, Massachusetts. 9:00 PM

After unlocking the door, I was met with the pleasant smell of Bolognese pasta and my favorite chocolate cake. Soft music was heard through the whole apartment and Matthew’s humming made me smile. After dropping my bag and keys, I removed my shoes and made my way to the kitchen.

I smiled when I saw him finishing plating our dinner, “Hi darling”, he turned and gave me a smile before dropping the plates on the table, “Hi Birdie! Happy birthday!”, he walked to where I was standing and pulled me into a hug, “Thank you babe”, once we pulled back, we made our way to the kitchen where I was welcomed by the smell of Italian food, a personal favorite at the moment.

I was distracted with dinner before Matthew cleared his throat; when I turned, I smiled at him, he was standing there with a big bouquet of daffodils and a gift bag in hand, we both started walking and met halfway, after he handed me my gifts, he kissed my temple before I pulled him into a hug.

Once we pulled back, he started cooking again and I went in search of a vase to put my flowers, while fixing them I spoke up, “Thank you for the daffodils, they’re so beautiful Momo”, I turned and gave him small smile which he returned and continued to serve dinner. I helped him bring the salad and bread to the table while he carried our pasta plates.

And as the soft music played, we started eating and catching up on everything we had missed about each other since the last time we had seen each other two days ago. Being a junior and trying to finish getting all credits while working on projects was very tiring, but I knew at the end it would be worth it.

After we finished dinner Matthew picked up our dinner plates, I was pulling out the dessert plates while he went into the fridge, when he turned, he had a small chocolate cake in his hands; and after he placed it on the table and lit up the candle, we both sang ‘Happy Birthday’, and just before I blew out the candle, he told me to make a wish.

So, I closed my eyes, placed my hands over my heart and made my wish, I wish for a life of adventures, love, and happiness, I opened my eyes again and blew out the candle while he clapped for me.

February 13, 2022

Harry. London, England. 7:30 PM.

A million thoughts ran through my head; was the surprise good or bad? Either way why was she so quiet? Did she miss him? Did she love him still? No, please no, I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Alice had told me that I shouldn’t keep quiet my fears and doubts, but the question is, am I willing to learn the truth and live with it?

She squeezed my hand before asking, “Hey, what’s in your head? Talk to me, yeah?”, I nodded, sat up straighter and turned to look at her, “I know you have told me about your story with Matthew, but I have always felt like there was a part of it that you kept quiet, and I never tried to peak into it”, she nodded, and I took a deep breath.

“But I want you to trust me, to share it with me; I want to know you, what lead to your breakup and what I can learn from it to make our relationship, if you want us to have one, better”, she smiled, “You got me physically naked already and now you’re getting me emotionally naked huh?”, we both laughed at her comment because technically, it was true.

She reached in for my hand and squeezed it before pulling it up to her lips and kissing it and then lowering to her lap, “I agree with you, and you are right, I didn’t give you the whole story, but I need you to know that it had nothing to do with me not trusting you, but with the fact that I was hurt and grieving still”

I nodded before asking her, “Did you ever stop grieving?”, she smiled a little and nodded, “I did, actually”, I smiled, “When?”, “The day I flew to LA to meet a certain singer who had been busy traveling the world, I think you know him?”, a mischievous smile on my face when I answered her, “I may know who you are referring to”, we both laughed before she cleared her throat.

“I’m not going to lie , Matthew was someone really special in my life; you already know how we met and how we started dating”, I nodded, a melancholic faraway look took over her face, “He was my first in so many ways; first love, first kiss, first time, he was the first one to help me pull out of my comfort zone”, there was a feeling at the pit of my stomach I couldn’t identify but I hoped it would disappear soon while she continued to talk.

“Everyone loved him; for my parents he was the perfect future husband: a young handsome guy with a nine to five job, that was a philanthropist on his free time and played tennis at the club and who never missed Sunday Service and Brunch. For me, a guy who didn’t undermine me for our age difference, even if it wasn’t that much and who always said that if I wanted to work I could, or if I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, he would support it too”

Okay now I understood why she had kept so much private about her relationship to him, and God I wished I would’ve stayed quiet, but if we wanted to learn and be better, I would have to. As if she could read my mind she quietly said, “This is why I was so reserved on talking about it, because you are probably overthinking the situation”

I laughed while nodding my head before clearing my throat, “I really don’t want to be cross or rude, but I really don’t find other way to ask a question”, she nodded and I continued, “If he was so perfect, what happened?”, I saw her lip quiver and tears start to line up her lash line, my heart started beating too fast before I reached to pull her into a hug.

Once she was safely in my arms I kissed her neck before whispering, “Baby no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry”, she shook her head and sniffled, “No, don’t apologize”, she pulled back a little and I grabbed her hand and started running my finger down her knuckles, “Harry, before I continue I need you to know that you are the first person I have ever told this to, not even my siblings know”

My mind started running with the worst-case scenarios, but I had an inkling on what she would say, she blew her nose before continuing to speak, “Matthew and I, we never labelled our relationship; yes when people asked if we were dating we said yes and I referred to him as my boyfriend and him to me as his girlfriend, but there was never a lot of fuss around what we were, the only thing we knew for sure was that we loved each other”

I nodded and continued to run my finger over her knuckles while she continued talking, “Once I graduated college we moved to New York together, we were renting this little apartment in the West Village and life was good, I started working for Vogue while he was working at one of the top financial companies” I nodded.

“We had started discussing what were our common goals, we both agreed we wanted to get married, have babies and maybe move to the Upper Side of Manhattan and raise them there, but the answer was always ‘in a few years down the line’, until one day I found myself with a missed period for two weeks and anxiety crawling out of my throat waiting for the test to finish loading”

What? I was not expecting that, and I bet my face could tell how shocked I was because she let out a half chuckle before continuing, “I think it is safe to understand the result the test showed given the situation we are currently in, but that result lead us to a conversation on how ‘a few years down the line’ could be kept for moving and babies, but not for marriage”

She let out a laugh at the shock I bet was displayed all over my face, this was all too much too soon but I was glad we were talking about it, I cleared my throat and spoke up, “He proposed?”, she shrugged her shoulders before answering, “I mean he did not get down on one knee and said the words ‘Will you marry me’, but there was love; we decided we loved each other enough to share a forever together and then he gave me a ring”

I nodded in understanding still processing what I was hearing, “ However the words ‘we really don’t have to make a big deal of this’, and ‘maybe we should keep it to ourselves for a while’ were involved, which at the time seemed to be a comfort, when in reality it should have been a sign”, I gave her a half chuckle and cleared my throat, “How… how long were you two engaged for?”

“Three months, first month and a half was as if nothing had changed, then came the letter to Edinburgh”, I furrowed my brows, “Edinburgh?”, she nodded, “He applied to study a master’s at the University of Edinburgh, when he first told me about it, I even started looking onto programs for me, but I never found one that fulfilled me”

 “I still remember the day the letter came, we had just returned from visiting my parents and there it was, sitting in between bills; I still remember how happy he was and how proud he felt of himself, and I did too, I knew how much he had worked for it, but as the excitement of acceptance washed off and reality of what this move meant crashed, I knew deep down what would eventually come”

June 26, 2017

New York City, New York. 8;45 PM

Thunder, rain, and lightning had overtaken the city over the last few hours, the only source of lights coming from the candles I had lit up a while ago. Boxes were staring to line the hallway, and it seemed they were mocking me, knowing what was about to happen.

A key turning inside the lock pulled me out of my thoughts and made the dread wake up again, he went into his routine, closing the door, dropping his keys in the bowl, removing his shoes, and walking to the kitchen where he leaves his work bag.

A few seconds later he appeared at the living room entrance giving me a smile, “Hi Birdie, how was your day huh?”, the nickname was enough for me to start tearing up again, he started making his way to sit next to me, I answered quietly, “Hi Momo, it was good”

He furrowed his brows, “Birdie? What’s going on huh?”, a small sob left my mouth before I covered my eyes and let the tears fall, he placed his hand in my back and started rubbing it, “Birdie… come on”

After I cried for what felt like an eternity and clearing my tears, we sat there in silence, Matthew’s hand not stopped running down my back, I took a deep breath and prayed to the heavens that the correct words would leave my mouth, “I have been thinking a lot in the last few days, about us, the pregnancy scare, the engagement, Edinburgh”, he nodded.

“And I have found myself feeling conflicted every time the reality of what this all means”, he cleared his throat, “Conflicted?”, I nodded and sniffled, “Matthew, I’m not ready”, he squeezed my hand, “We still have a few months Birdie, everything will be okay yeah?”

Silence. An uncomfortable silence I have never experienced, I started toying with the ring that had been sitting on my finger, but instead of feeling joy I felt dread, I dropped my hands before turning to the window and started talking again.

“I know I was the one who said we shouldn’t make a big deal and we should also keep it quiet; I really thought it had to do with us enjoying the moment, but there was always something there, at first I thought it was because of all the newness this would entitle, but truthfully as the weeks have gone by, the uneasiness has grown”

I sniffled, “And I’ve come to realize that… that I’m not ready for it all”, he whispered, “What?”, I sniffled again, “I’m so sorry Matthew, but I’m not ready; this is all coming too soon too fast, and… and I don’t feel the same excitement or dreaminess I felt a few months ago when we talked about it”

Matthew nodded, a solemn look in his face, “And us?”, oh God, a sob left my mouth while I reached to squeeze his hand, “Matthew, you are so special, so unique, you have brought me so much joy, happiness; you showed me a world I didn’t know and for that I love you, and I’m so thankful for you”

A sad smile started adorning his face, a squeeze returned to my hand, “But you’re not in love with me anymore huh?”, I couldn’t look him in the eye while I nodded, a sob leaving my mouth while he pulled me into a hug swaying and shushing while I cried whispering how things were okay.

When we pulled back, he started clearing my tears, while I apologized, “I’m so sorry Matthew”, a smile adorned his face, “Why Birdie? You were honest and your feelings are so valid; I will not lie, it hurts, and I will probably be sad for a while, but everything will be okay, yes?”

I shook my head, “How can you forgive me so easily?”, he kissed my cheek, “Because I love you, and you are special to me, and I’m so grateful we got to share so much and before you start thinking I hate you I don’t, Birdie you’re young, you deserve to live your life, not the life I want or your parents want”

“And if that is not next to me, it is perfectly fine, I just hope that one day we can run into each other again I hope you tell me that your life was everything you wanted it to be, okay?”, I nodded and sniffled, “Thank you Matthew”, he smiled, “Thank you Birdie”

February 13, 2022

London, England. 7:45 PM.

“I moved out the next week into the apartment we now live in, we didn’t keep in touch after that, but it took me a few months to be other the heartache”, Harry sat there a serious look on his face, “And then?”, I smiled.

“And then, I fell in love with my life again, continued to work in free-lance projects, until I landed a very picky client, he’s a pretty famous singer”, he smirked and pretended to think, “I think so, care to tell me more about him?”, I laughed before continuing.

“Well, he hired me to help him with his album, and somewhere along the way we fell in love; but sadly, one day we broke up, and heck was I felt with a broken heart. I had started to learn about living without him, until one day a little tiny plus sign changed our lives forever, and now we are trying to raise a baby and getting to know each other again; after all I never fell out of love with him”

The smile on his face made everything worth it, he reached and pulled me in for a kiss, a kiss that was everything I needed at the moment, I hear you, I love you, thank you for trusting me, when we pulled back, he smiled at me before whispering, “Thank you for sharing this with me, I feel honored that you trust me enough”

“I do Harry, and I want for this to work for us to be together; frankly we both know that if we were to co-parent, we would do It awesome, but I love you and I want to have a relationship with you”, he ran his knuckles down my cheek, “I do too baby, more than anything I want you”

February 14, 2022

Harry. London, England. 4:30 PM.

I had just finished burping Pippa while Y/N was getting ready, my mum was finishing setting up in the guest room; she had agreed to come stay with us for a few days because she missed her granddaughter and future daughter-in-law, a comment that had me laughing every time she told me.

When I heard someone come down the stairs I smiled when I saw it was my mum, she smiled as she started walking to where I was standing with Pippa in the kitchen, “Hi mum, everything okay?”, she nodded and reached for Pippa, after I handed her the baby, she started kissing her forehead.

“Pippa you need to ask your daddy when will he ask your mumma to be his girlfriend again huh? Say ‘Daddy Nana wants to call her daughter in law”, I laughed before turning to the door to check if she was near before leaning in to whisper, “Baby tell your Nana it will be soon, like soon next week” I winked before pulling back while my mum danced a little.

I laughed and turned when I heard footsteps come down the stairs, I walked out of the kitchen to meet her, she looked so beautiful, once she reached the main floor, I pulled her in for a kiss and whispered against her lips, “Well it seems I’m the luckiest man this Valentine’s Day” she laughed before giving me an eskimo kiss before whispering, “Hi handsome”

We started making our way to the kitchen where my mum was finishing her tea, she smiled and walked to Y/N and handed her the baby so she could give her a cuddle before we left, my mum took a sip of her tea before speaking up, “So, what are your plans today loves?”

I smiled before answering, “We have an appointment for a painting class with a friend of Gemma’s and then we have dinner plans; is Darren still planning on coming over?”, she nodded and smiled, I was happy to see my mum falling in love again, Y/N made her way to stand next to me while my mum gave us a questioning look.

“Are you two sure you have no issue if he comes?”, we both shook our heads before Y/N spoke up, “Anne you deserve to have your date, it is the least we could do after you agreed to babysit”, my mum smiled, “I missed my girl, so this makes me happy. I’m just glad he can be here with us too”, I smiled, “Mum dinner is on me and don’t even try to fight it okay?”

She rolled her eyes and nodded while making her to where we were standing saying goodbye to Pippa, “Bye baby, be good for Nana yes? We’ll see you in a few hours”, after we kissed her forehead once more, we gave her back to my mum and grabbed our coats and masks before making my way to the van.

The drive to the little art studio took about twenty minutes, we got out of the car and walked to the white door before ringing the bell, and while we waited for, I pulled my girl into my arms and started cuddling her and kissing her forehead, and in return she kissed my pecks, we pulled back a little when we heard the lock turn.

When the door opened, I smiled, the brunette had not changed through the years, she smiled before excitedly saying hello, “Harry! It’s so good to see you!”, I smiled and moved from Y/N so I could pull the brunette girl into a hug, “Sadie! It’s been so long”, once we pulled back, she turned to look at Y/N and smiled, “Hi! You must be Y/N, I have heard so many good things about you from Gemma”

Y/N smiled and pulled Sadie into a hug before telling her, “It’s so nice to meet you Sadie, I have also heard so many good things from Gemma”, she smiled and motioned for us to come in, we removed our coats, but she told us to leave our shoes on to prevent accidents and we started following her when she spoke over her shoulder

“By the way, congratulations on Pippa’s birth, Gemma showed me a picture and I died, she’s gorgeous”, we both smiled and thanked her before she stopped in her kitchen and turned to smile at us, “I might have a little surprise for you two from a little birdie”, from the distance you could see the fairy lights inside the greenroom.

I laughed while shaking my head as we followed her to the backyard where I could see a little greenhouse, “I’ll thank Gemma later”, she grinned and nodded before opening the door to the greenhouse, inside the first thing you could see was a long table full of little remnants of arts and crafts, in the back corner there were big racks where different clay figures were sitting, two cabinets full of material were hidden in the back wall and along the right side you could see painting hung up to dry.

When we got in, we noticed that Sadie had set up two canvases opposite of each other and an array of paint colors I bet there were colors I didn’t even knew existed. On the ither side there was an ice bucket with a bottle of sparkling apple juice chilling and a picnic basket with some paninis, chips, fruit, and chocolate.

I smiled as I watched Y/N take in everything before giving Sadie a smile, “This is so beautiful Sadie!”, Sadie smiled and cleared her throat, “So, there is a speaker on the table so you can play your music, and I will go inside. I left a little book with some pictures so you can get ideas on what to paint or you can leave it to your imagination; if you need me you can click on that doorbell and I’ll come, otherwise I will see you two in a few hours”

We both thanked her and waved as she left the room before settling down and getting ready to paint, while I was looking at the book for inspiration she cleared her throat, which had me looking up to her, she smiled before speaking up, “I have an idea for our paintings”, I nodded and placed the book in the table to give her my whole attention.

“Let’s paint something that represents a happy memory for us”, I smiled, “Just one?”, she laughed, “But it cannot be around Pippa, let’s think, like really think about everything”, I smiled and nodded, and while I opened the bottle of wine, and she unpacked the food I raked through my mind on what I wanted to paint.

And as we sat down, I got the perfect inspiration, I cleared my throat before asking her, “Know what you will paint?”, she nodded and grabbed her brush to start painting, I pressed play in my phone, and we started painting.

It had been about fifteen minutes before Y/N called my name, “Yes baby?”, she let out a shuddering breath, “Can I… can I ask you something?”, I nodded, “Did you and Olivia, uhm, ever discuss the future?”, I dropped my brush before turning to look at her, “What do you mean?”, she shrugged, “Like, did you two ever discuss marriage, having your own children? Like it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it”

“No, no, it’s okay darling, I understand, and we did promise we were going to be honest with each other”, she nodded, and I sighed, “I made it clear since the beginning that before we ever thought of the future, things regarding Otis and Daisy would have to be settled with Jason, she wasn’t too happy about it but agreed”

“When Jason and her were able to work something out for the time being we started discussing moving in, truth I wasn’t too sure, Otis and Daisy were getting used to this new arrangement, I still remember one day Daisy asked me to call her dad because she missed him and it broke my heart, funnily enough, the day I found you in L.A. we were discussing the fact that she wanted to move in but I didn’t want to”

She nodded and squeezed my hand, which I took as a sign to continue, “Marriage was not on the table, I was busy touring and she still had to settle with Jason, and kids were ever only brought up when she had that scare last year, and we know how that ended”, she cringed at the memory and I kissed her knuckles before speaking up, “So yes, there was some talk, but nothing too serious”

She nodded and I cleared my throat, “Baby everything okay? Where is this coming from’”, she nodded, “Well… no, I guess I have been thinking a lot about my relationship with Matthew and your relationship with her, and… I don’t know”, I squeezed her hand once more before kissing her knuckles, she sighed before talking, “I cannot help but compare myself to the Y/N that broke up with Matthew all those years ago, and how karma did reach me when I broke up with you over falling in love with Olivia”

I nodded solemnly letting her know I was listening, “If I told the Y/N that was sitting in her first NYC flat that things would improve after her break up, then go to shit again and then shift so much, she would laugh; because truly my life has been so unexpected and what I needed but wasn’t sure I did, and I know that it sounds like a complaint but it isn’t, I’m still trying to understand everything, and well truth is that every time things come up in therapy I stir the pot”

I smiled a little, but there was something in her eyes that told me she wanted to say more, “Darling, what’s bothering you still?”, she laughed before speaking up, “You’ve always known me too well… I guess I have a confession to make, and I’m scared of how you will react and the floodgates it will open”, I furrowed my brows, but she beat me before I could speak up, “I saw the ring H”

My heart stilled and I whispered, “What?”, she smiled a little, “I was putting away your laundry from set, from the two weeks you were away due to the Covid case, and all of your underwear were not fitting perfectly, so I reached in to see what was going on and found the box”, I gave her a nervous laugh and she cleared her throat, “I thought you were acting the way you were because you were going to propose, and God how different it turned out to be huh?”

I nodded and she squeezed my hand before taking a sip of her wine and clearing her throat, “Wow okay this feels loaded now and I do want to continue talking about it, so why don’t we finish our paintings and once we do, we’ll show each other and continue yes?”, I nodded and reached in to pull her for a kiss, okay maybe two and then we continued painting.

February 14, 2022

London, England. 6:00 PM.

I knew what i wanted to paint since we arrived at the studio, and I was very excited Harry was so onboard with it. As we were painting, and conversation started flowing I realized we still had a lot to discuss but we needed to decompress a little before we could continue talking. I had just finished putting on the finishing touches to my painting when H cleared his throat and let me know he was done too.

I smiled before speaking up, “What if we showed our painting at the same time?”, he nodded and grabbed his canvas before clearing his throat, “On the count of three yes?” I nodded, “One… two… three!”, we both turned our canvases, and we started laughing. Because right in front of our eyes I found that we had both painted something related to the same memory.

Harry had painted the landscape of the hill where the house we stayed during our visit to Sorrento, while I had painted the hill and the ocean because we both knew we weren’t professional, his eyes lit up when he came to the realization and he let out a laugh, “Really? Same memory?”

I nodded and grinned, “Guess we really loved it huh?”, he nodded before reaching for my hand and squeezed it, “It was a very special trip and time baby, it was magic and bliss”, I reached from across the table and pulled him into a kiss before whispering against his lips, “It really was”, he smiled before pulling me into another kiss.

While the painting dried, we started munching on the contents of the basket and continued to talk, I was finishing my panini before he cleared his throat, “Should we… uhm should we continue the conversation we left off?”, I nodded and swallowed before speaking up, “Just promise me, that this won’t cause a fight between us”, he reached in for my hand and kissed it before speaking up, “Uncomfortable topics will make us have a better communication okay?”

I nodded and cleared my throat, “I have trouble understanding why would you buy an engagement ring if you weren’t sure”, he sighed, “I bought the ring a year into our relationship”, my heart stopped, “What?”, he smiled, “Funnily enough, during the Sorrento trip, while you were busy baking and cooking and learning Italian with Giuseppina, I was visiting jewelry stores”

 I nodded and he continued talking, “I wanted to propose right then and there, but I knew it would be too soon, so I decided to wait, and wait, a year later we were both in our projects and on top of our careers that I thought 2021 would be a better year to get married, but… yeah”

I chuckled, “We both know what happened”, he nodded, I sniffled and cleared my throat, “If you were so set on us… on us getting married, why Harry? Why break my heart like that?”, he reached in and pulled me in for a hug, where he let me cry for a few moments before he pulled back started caressing my cheek and speaking up.

“Everything was good, yes we had our fights and we made up, we shared our dreams, goals and aspirations, and for the first time, ever, I felt complete peace, I was truly happy, because I had found my better half and yes I know it sounds cheesy but is the truth, you balance out my perfection and I do my best to uplift your confidence, you help me see the good in everything and I help you remember how beautiful and charming and incredible you are”

I smiled while he continued to speak, “It was finally starting to feel real, it was sinking that sooner rather than later I was going to ask my best friend to marry me, that we would start a new chapter of life together, have some babies, and live until we were old together, and as exciting as that was, the realization was also hitting; how could I, a child of divorced parents keep a healthy relationship and marriage together?”

I squeezed his hand before whispering, “You are not your parents H”, he nodded, “I know that now, but at the time I didn’t, and my insecurities got the best of me”, I squeezed his hand, “Baby how long had you been feeling that way?”, he shrugged, “A few months, I was planning to propose on the anniversary of you moving in with me”

I nodded while he continued, “But then filming started, and I formally met Olivia and Chris and met again with Florence and Gemma, and you were here and everything was great, until one day the compliments started flowing, ‘Great job H, better than last time but we will roll it again’, ‘Harry the dancing? Impressive I’m so glad you agreed to it’, and we then moved to ask for my imput on shots, what emotions should we convey”

He sighed, “Then after we came back from our break from the Covid case she seemed even more excited than before to see me, and there were subtle details like a coffee just how I ordered it in my trailer, some lunch a few days and when the cast and crew got together she always made sure I was there for the important discussions and the thoughts and opinions got back to my higher up management which was a win-win”

I bit my lip and nodded a little before he continued, “I guess at the time I was loving getting that attention, and slowly I was expecting those details, because I started to see that this was not because of my acting but for me; I would be a hypocrite if I said that I didn’t love the attention I was getting, and after breaking up I used it as an excuse”

He squeezed my hands, “A few months later I realized that I had confused being needed by someone to being wanted by someone; because unconsciously I needed her attention and her love to heal up the pain I was feeling from our breakup, but truly I wanted all of you, your heart, your best and worst, your thoughts, and above all your love”

I sniffled before speaking up, “I really thought you had feelings for her”, he nodded, “I cared for her, and I was appreciative of her helping me deal with what I was feeling, but I didn’t love her”, I nodded, “You didn’t come for me”, he gave me a sad smile, “I did”, I furrowed my brows, and he ran a hand down my cheek

“I flew to New York after Jeff and Glenne’s wedding, I was determined to get you back, and I remember standing outside your door about to knock until I let my fears get the worst of me, like how on Earth would I explain to you what I was feeling without hurting you even more? And if you did forgive me, how would I be able to make it work? like I said, I realized I didn’t have the best examples; so, I didn’t knock and left”

I gave him a sympathetic look, “Harry…”, he smiled, “I am better, therapy has done wonders and I know I am not them and I am only responsible for my actions and not theirs; and I do get to choose and learn from them”, I nodded and smiled in agreement, “but there is one thing that will never change: the fact that I am choosing you; I am choosing Pippa and I am choosing the life we will build together” I gave me a timid smile and nodded, “I am choosing you and Pippa and our future life too”

February 25, 2022

Harry. London, England. 8:30 PM.

We had finished eating the past we spent all afternoon making, and while Y/N went and settled Pippa for the night I was cleaning up the kitchen and moved to the living room, I could hear some steps behind me before she spoke up, “She went out like a light” I smiled and patted the space next to me in the couch.

She gave me a smile and started cuddling her and kissing her forehead while she sighed in contentment, we pressed play in the movie and ate our sweet treat my mum had left for us. There has bene something on my mind for the last few days and especially since her and Pippa would fly back to the US pretty soon.

That had caused a fight between us, but I understood that it would be the best for Pippa, and in turn I would definitely push to be back soon with them. Once the movie finished, we sat up and stretched she turned to look at me and tapped my nose before asking me “What is on your head baby?”

I smiled, “I have been thinking about a lot of things, but above all about how much we have both grown and above all, how much I love you”, she smiled and squeezed my hand, “I love you too”, after a few seconds in silence before I blurted out, “Be mine”, she sat up straighter, “Sorry?”, I smiled and squeezed her hand, “Will you be my girlfriend?”, she smiled and gave me an apprehensive look.

“Harry, how can I be sure you won't pull a freak out again? Because I must remind you, now it isn't just me but her too”, I nodded and understood where she was coming from, that is why I had something planned, I reached into my jacket and pulled out a box, handed it to her and asked for her to open it, when she did tears were filling the corners of her eyes before she let out a wet chuckle and whispered, “My necklace”

I cleared my throat, “Turn it around”, she furrowed her brows but followed my instruction, a choked sob left her mouth once she did, because the inscription had changed from To a promise of forever to read, To a promise of forever; cross my heart

She grabbed my cheek and pulled me in for a kiss, we pulled back and pressed our foreheads together before I whispered, “I know it’s not promise ring, but I need you to know, I held onto this until last month when I had to send it to add the new engraving”, she pulled back and sniffled before speaking up “What do you mean?”

I smiled, “Had Lamby add a small pocket in my concert and in normal outfits i always had it in my pocket, I couldn't part with it; like I told you last time, I screwed up, but I’m done thinking about the what ifs, I’m not wasting this second chance and as soon as you let me, I’ll marry you and we will think of when's”

She let out a wet chuckle, “You’re so sure I will say yes that you’re thinking about marriage huh?” I laughed and nodded, before she pulled in for a kiss before whispering against my lips, “Yes”, I pulled back and gave her a small smile, “Yes?”, she nodded before kissing me again, when we pulled back, she kissed my cheeks before saying “Let’s write the story of us”

March 4, 2022

Harry. London, England. 12:30 PM.

The tarmac was buzzing with planes getting ready to leave, Harry, Tommy and Jeff were finishing talking with the stewardess about our flight information; we had agreed that Tommy would fly with us and make sure we got home safe.

The last few days here had been spent visiting family, house hunting and above all enjoying the bliss of being able to tell people we were together again; I will always remember the happiness in Anne’s face when we told her, and Gemma was on her way to celebrating a party.

We had to tell my family and our friends back home through the phone, but the excitement was the same. Yesterday we had spent it packing and crying, Harry would be staying here for the next two or three weeks while I would return home and settle back into our routine. We both weren’t so happy about this but knew it was for the best, and that was enough to keep us both going.

The mood had significantly dampened since we left Harry’s house and made our way to the airport, the private terminal was empty which allowed for us to be a little more at ease. I had just hung up with Anne and Gemma and said goodbye again, Pippa was in her stroller sleeping, when she started stirring up a little, I placed her cover over the stroller, and I swayed it a little hoping to help her settle.

As I was putting my phone away, I saw Harry make his way to us, I gave him a smile and he gave me back a very small one, “Hi mister”, he sat down next to me and kissed my temple, “Hi sweetheart, everything is set”, the knot in my belly tightened, we waited for a few minutes before Jeff came to get us before he stopped in front of us and asked us, “Shall we?”

We both nodded, we stood up and Harry grabbed the stroller’s handle, while Jeff grabbed our bags and I grabbed my backpack, security helped us get to the plane and waited until Harry and Jeff were ready to leave, after storing the bags we wouldn’t need for the flight along with the stroller and car seat, Jeff and Tommy let us know they would confirm some things with the crew.

Jeff hugged me and he caressed Pippa’s head before wishing us a safe flight and walking away with Tommy, when I turned to see Harry my heart broke, he was sitting and cuddling Pippa to his chest while tears clouded his eyes, I kneeled in front of him and squeezed his knees, he closed his eyes and sniffled

“Baby…”, he shook his head before sniffling and speaking up, “I know we agreed to do what’s best for her, but that doesn’t mean I’m not devastated”, I kissed his knee before speaking up, “We always knew this would be hard my love, but we will always make things work okay? you’ll be back with us before you know it”, he nodded and then leaned to kiss her forehead multiple times before whispering to her temple.

“Please don’t grow up too fast Pip, daddy won’t be able to handle it”, Pippa let out a squeak which made us laugh, I hadn’t noticed I was crying until I tasted the salt on my lips, “She won’t, but I promise we will talk every single day yes?”, he nodded and then pulled me into a kiss, “I’ll miss you my love”, I smiled, “I’ll miss you too handsome”

He disembarked the plane but not before sending us a kiss, and once the doors closed and the plane started sliding around the tarmac, I started to breastfeed Pippa while whispering to her, “Everything will be okay baby, it’s just you and me for a while, yes? And then daddy will come home, and we will be very happy together”

Taglist @adoredeanna @alienorknight @be-with-me-so-happily @beachwoodcaferryy @behindmygreyeyes @cherrylovesblog @clarawolf22 @dayxoxodreamer @dirtytissuebox @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @goldenlouvr @groovychaosavenue @harrysficreblog @harryspirate @hoya122 @imaginesofdreams @i-got-the-cinema @infinitely-yellow @irelilien @itsgabbysblog @itsgigikay @jgoff717 @kathy522 @kaitieskidmore1 @last-saturday-night @michellekstyles @msolbesg @qualitygiantshoepsychic @shawnsblue @spicyscorpsag @sunshinemoonsposts @tinydeskwriter @tinydestinybear @tpwkstyles1d @voosa @watercolorskyy @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry

[celestialrry]

a little jealousy never hurt anybody, right?

6.7k

HIIHIHI this was requested by the lovely @angelsuestyles (their ask is in my recent posts!) ALSOOOO THANK YOU FOR 222 BILLION FOLLOWERS (∩˃o˂∩)♡ (not really but 222 :0 !!! I love all of you guys!! thank you, it literally means so much to me <<<<<333333) 

edit: I forgot to put this in here when I first posted but this IN NO WAY is hating on Camille at all (she's literally so hot PLS! she just inspired harry’s 2nd album so she worked for the story) and you guys shouldn’t hate on her either!!! 

summary: Y/N and Harry are idiots.

warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol and illusions to a boner ¨̮ ( I think that’s it...)

Y/N regrets quite a few things. 

Like that time when she took her senior photo and didn’t realize the small bit of concealer she had blended under her eyes would flash back so much. Or when she was being introduced to a set of twins and even though she had been completely sober that night, accidentally ended up kissing the both of them, not realizing who was who (she didn’t even remember who she wanted to kiss in the first place). And of course, she regrets somehow being able to put a check in one of those super specific love-cliche boxes.

It really wasn’t her fault for falling for Harry. How could she not? Ever since he asked her to join him on his sophomore tour after she played some guitar for his album, she knew there was no way to crawl out of the hole that had just been dug. All thanks to her her friend Sarah, who introduced the two at her intimate birthday party, just months before Harry started producing and writing for Fine Line. 

When an “Oh, shit! You’ll have t’show me sometime!” erupted from Harry after Sarah mentioned Y/N played guitar and even partnered with Mitch on a few projects of his own (that unfortunately, not even after Y/N’s begging, would never be released to the world), Y/N was sure that she would never end up showing Harry, and he was just being sweet. But when a few days later, Harry texted her explaining how he got her number from Sarah and asking if she could get together so he could hear her play, Y/N realized he had been serious, and well, the rest was history.

Harry had insisted she play for a track, then one became a few, then a few became practically the entire album, and soon Harry was talking about how “sick” it would be if she went on tour with them, and after arranging things with her uni and taking a leave from her job, she was ready.

Tour had no shortage of interesting moments, from the time Harry almost broke his ankle during rehearsal and tripping on the microphone wire (why he insisted it have a wire, Y/N had no idea) to Mitch getting really drunk after one show and blabbering on and on about British culture and how different it was from American culture, and YN was sure she’d never seen or heard him talk this much, but no one was complaining.

Y/N had found some sort of companionship in everyone on tour. Sarah had always been like a big sister to her, and the protective instinct really kicked in when they were in a different country, Y/N noticed. Charlotte was pretty new, just like Y/N was and they bonded quite fast over that, and their love for fashion they could never afford. Adam was more open and bubbly, and he took Y/N in like one of his own kids. She truly didn’t think being 23 was so different than everyone else being in their late 20′s and early 30′s but after being treated like a fragile puppy, she noticed that no one else felt the same as her-- she really wasn’t complaining though, it just meant she had all eyes looking out for her, and she kind of needed that to be honest.

Mitch practically became her older brother, and although he was a bit closed off and shy when they first met (which was a few weeks before Y/N met Harry) eventually he was joking around with just her, and teaching her new things on the electric guitar she hadn’t known before.

Finally, Harry. It would be an understatement to say Y/N and Harry got really close, really fast. He was always really good at making friends, but with Y/N it seemed they became great friends in a heartbeat. He opened up about almost everything, fame, missing home, his heartbreaks, his accomplishments, and everything in-between. Y/N did the same, told him how paying for uni was an absolute bitch (to which he offered to pay and she immediately turned him down), how her parent’s divorce impacted her own relationships (Harry had nodded in agreement with that), and about how being on this tour changed her life. By week 2 of tour, the two had become so close, even the fans had picked up on it just during their banter and contact during shows.

“They’re ‘shipping’ you guys,” Mitch had said, taking a sip of water backstage as everyone was gathered in the band’s dressing room. Harry was still getting dressed and ready, so it was everyone but him. “It’s quite cute, honestly.”

Y/N’s brow raised in confusion. “What- why? We act normal like we always do.” She pointed out, firm in her statement. A snort from Charlotte made Y/N turn her head to the strawberry-blonde and gape. “What? Do we- do we not act normal?” She asked, looking around at everyone, now flushing out of embarrassment. “You two act like you’re dating sometimes, love,” Sarah pointed out. “It’s nothing to worry about though, he’s just really affectionate, friends or partners, and we can tell you do too, so it’s inevitable that someone will mistake you guys for a couple.” 

“Mistake who for a couple?” A familiar voice asked, and everyone’s gaze wandered over to the door where Harry had walked in with his billowing dress shirt, and dress pants for the night. “You and Y/N.” Adam said, and Y/N’s head had snapped towards him to give him a death stare, but before her eyes could burn into his skull, her attention was dragged away by an arm draping across her shoulders and the dip of the couch next to her. She turned to look at him, and he gave her a soft smiled before squeezing her shoulder with his hand. “Makes sense, s’like we’re practically married.” 

“I’m waiting on a proposal.” Y/N said with a grin, and Harry smirked, pulling her in closer towards his body. “You’ll get one soon, pet, don’t worry.” The conversation had then shifted to Mitch and Sarah who were literally work-wife and husband, not yet anyways, but everyone knew he would ask her soon enough. Y/N always like this before shows, happy. Not that preforming and the adrenaline rush afterwards wasn’t enough, but everyone was always together, and she liked that a lot. 

She also liked how Harry’s arm had slid down from her shoulders to her waist and how his fingers splayed across her hip, how they gently squeezed, and how his thumb mindlessly ran up down across her skin. It wasn’t an overstatement to say that stayed on her mind the entire night.

。:°ஐ

Harry was always positively buzzing after a show. His narcissistic side loved it when everyone’s attention was on him for hours at a time, screaming his name and shouting their declarations of love.  He loved to be told how talented he was, how handsome he was, and how funny he was, it was safe to say he had a bit of a praise kink, if he’s being honest. But if it was even possible, he loved hearing it all from Y/N even more than the thousands of people in the crowd. He told himself many times that it was just because she cared about him, and he cared about her, and hearing praise from someone he knows and respects (not that he didn’t respect his fans) was just so much more fulfilling.  

So after every show when he’d rush offstage with he rest of his band, his attention always went to Y/N, waiting for her praise, and he always got it.  He, of course, complimented her back, and watching her smile was more than enough to keep him happy the rest of the night. This night had gone the same as all the others, an amazing show, running offstage, and hugs and kisses being thrown around like a beach ball at a rave. “That was awesome H, your whale seems to get better every time.” Y/N had commented, and he had attempted helplessly to keep his cheeks from flushing. “I’ve just got strong lungs, pet. Could never compare to your guitar playing though, the real star of the show. Don’t tell Mitch I said that.”

She waved off his compliment and laughed, pulling him into a soft hug with a soft kiss on the cheek that he was still thinking about when they made their way to a bar for the night. He couldn’t take it off of his mind, not even when there was a pretty blonde in front of him, her hand running flirtatiously over his arm and her smile as blinding as the sun had been earlier.

 Of course she was pretty, there was no way to deny it,  she just wasn’t as pretty as Y/N. No one was, not after he’d laid eyes on her and began using her beauty to determine everyone else’s attractiveness. 

So when his attention from the woman in front of him fades, he’s looking around for the familiar face that he can’t enough of. He meets Y/N’s eyes and immediately her own dart back to Charlotte, biting the inside of her cheek and praying he didn’t catch her staring at him with envy. 

Envy of the girl in front of him, who go to express her attraction towards Harry without hiding it, and not worrying about if he feels the same way or not, because of course he finds the girl in front of him attractive, who wouldn’t? 

It’s then, that Y/N starts to pity herself, physically and romantically. The partners she’s had before always seemed way too good for her, and she had never been the one to end it.  To say that destroyed her self-confidence in the long run would be an understatement. 

It wasn’t like she needed a partner to make her confident, no, she was perfectly capable of doing that on her own, but for the first time in a long, long time, Harry made Y/N feel really good about herself. Good about her personality, her humor, everything, because if someone she looked up to that much, if a man like Harry Styles wants to be friends with her? She thinks it just meant she was doing everything right.

So Y/N, in short, was jealous. So jealous and wound up by Harry showing attraction towards that girl, that everyone else seemed to notice she was a bit off. “Y/N, you okay?” Mitch asked from across the booth, his thick brows twisted in concern. “Hm?” She looked up from the wooden table beneath her to see everyone, sans Harry, looking at her with the most pitiful eyes she had ever seen, and god, did she feel disgusted. Disgusted that she had fallen so hard for a man she could never have, that everyone around her noticed and felt bad for her. 

“I’m fine, but I think m’gonna call it a night. I’m pretty tired after today’s show.” She said with a tight-lipped smile, hoping it would convince everyone that she was okay. Of course it didn’t though and Adam caught on. “Funny, I was about to say the same. I can’t stay up late like I used to anymore, wanna catch a taxi back?” He asked, and Y/N nodded with a real smile this time, albeit the fact it was small, because she really didn’t want to go back to the hotel alone, and Adam always knew what to say.

Sarah and Mitch slid out of the booth to let Adam out, and Y/N simply stood up on her side because she had the outside seat. Harry was supposed to sit next to her on the edge, but seeing as he went to the bar to grab everyone another round and then ended up talking to someone else, that didn’t happen. She slipped on her light beige coat and grabbed her purse, slinging it on her shoulder as Adam put on his jacket as well. When Y/N looked to the bar where she had last seen Harry, he was still standing there animately talking to the woman in front of him, dimples prominent in his rosy cheeks, and all she could do was hope he didn’t notice the two of them slip out as they made their way to the door.

Alas, Y/N could never be that lucky.

“Hey! Where are y’guys going?” 

Y/N and Adam turned around at the sound of his voice and that was when Adam went in full protective mode, slinging his arm around Y/N’s shoulders and pulling her in closer. She made a note in her head to thank him immensely when they escaped this bar. 

“Heading out for the night, we’re both pretty pooped.” Adam explained, eyes darting from Y/N to Harry who now stood in front of them, his own eyes darting from Y/N to Adam then back to the girl who was now avoiding eye contact at all costs. 

“Oh, alright then. Are- Y/N are you okay?” He asked softly and only then did her eyes meet his own. “Yes, I’m fine. I feel like such a baby when I’m around you guys.” She joked, her lips curling into a small smile. 

Adam chuckled at that and so did Harry, but Y/N could tell the curly headed one was still concerned. “Well we gotta catch a cab, so…” She trailed off, her thumb poking back to the door. 

“O-okay,” Harry nodded. “Get back safe, yeah? Have a good night.” He said in parting and Y/N and Adam both nodded, wishing him the same before turning back around and pushing through the door. Harry watched the two of them leave, and his stomach bounced around in an odd way. 

The cold air whipped across the duo’s faces, and and Adam rubbed Y/N’s shoulder comfortingly as he hailed a cab. They didn’t talk until they were settled in the back and Adam told the driver the destination. “Wanna tell me what’s up? Cause I’m not gonna bother you anymore when we get to the hotel.”

She smiled at him and scoffed a bit before trilling her lips, a soft noise releasing from her mouth at the movement. “Um,” She began, running her hands through her hair. “I’m pretty sure you already know.” 

At her words, Adam just raised a brow at her. “What? You guys all looked at me like someone just killed my puppy back there!” She defended, raising her hands. “Okay, fine, fine. It won’t help if you keep all your emotions bottled in though, you know?” 

“Yeah,” She sighed. “I know.”

After getting back up to her room, doing her nightly routine (which really was just her washing her face, brushing her teeth, and changing into the t-shirt Harry gave her a few weeks ago and her Spongebob decorated fluffy pajama shorts that she got in college as a joke but really ended up being her favorite item of clothing she owned, other than Harry’s shirt, of course) she slipped into bed and began scrolling on her phone. 

Only what felt like 15 minutes later, a knock on her door broke Y/N out of the trance she was in and she sighed a bit, pulling the covers back and grumbling as she made her way to the door, annoyed at whoever was behind it-oh.

Harry looked at her as she swung the door open for him and he immediately grinned. “Hi, love.”She could never stay mad at him. “Hey, H.” She smiled at him, still a bit confused. “What’s up?” He ran a hand thorough his hair and retained eye contact with her, before speaking. 

“Sleepover?” 

She nodded and let him in, and immediately he went to her suitcase without a word, pulling out some her biggest sweatpants and stripping to his boxers, slipping the joggers on and keeping his shirt off. Y/N suddenly was reminded of all of Harry’s tattoos she knew none of the meanings behind. 

Sleepovers were common with the two of them, and they always occurred in Harry’s suite, Y/N on the way too comfortable couch, and Harry guiltily on the bed even though she insisted she take the couch because “We can’t have your back hurting when you preform!” And he couldn’t say no when she also said “Please?” and looked at him with those soft eyes. 

So now it was a bit different, being in her room, because 1, there was only one bed that they would both consequently end up sleeping on, and 2, Y/N and Harry’s feelings had both developed a bit further than friendly (although neither knew about the other’s).  

She hesitantly crawled back into her bed and patted at the area right beside her, which Harry quickly traveled over to, lifting his side of the comforter and pulling it over the both of them while Y/N leaned over to the night-stand and grabbed the T.V. remote. She plopped back into the pillows and started scrolling through random channels, trying to find a decent movie for the two of them to fall asleep to. 

All the while, Harry was attempting to look at the T.V. but the light was shining on her face in a way that just made her look so pretty, not that she wasn’t always pretty, but she seemed to always look the best when she was in her natural state, no makeup, no nice clothes, it was just all so domestic and the feeling overwhelmed him when he realized he wanted to be the one to see her like this every night.

Her eyes darted from the T.V. over to her right where Harry was curled up in the covers, and she could feel the burn of his eyes on her. Now that really didn’t help with her insecurities, and as she continued switching through the channels she found herself burying under the covers more and more.  Soon, she landed on a stupid rom-com that she’s seen a few times before but she never really knows what it’s about because her attention gets easily dragged away from it.

She puts the remote back on the table and flips back around to be face to face with Harry, who was now looking at her with furrowed brows. “Why’re you burying yourself under the covers?” He asked with a frown, and she lulled her head away from him then back, biting the inside of her cheek. “M’just a bit cold.” 

His brows raised because he knew full well it wasn’t cold at all in this room, in fact it was quite hot, but he didn’t want to deal with her lying and thinking she could get away with it, so he pulled the covers off of himself, which actually cooled him off a good amount and piled them all on top of her. “Hey!” She cried out, muffled by the fabric on top of her. “M’hot, so I figured you could have my covers.” 

He heard a bit of grumbling and the covers were flung off of the bed entirely in a few seconds, Y/N sitting up and leaning on her arms breathing a bit heavy and turning to Harry with a stink in her eye. He just flashed his signature cheeky grin and she grabbed her pillow and hit him over the head before placing it back and pulling the sheets over her body. 

“Ow! You fucker.”

。:°ஐ

 Harry was sure about a lot of the things he did. 

Like when One Direction split up, he didn’t remain in constant contact with the boys, and while it was difficult at first,  they all needed a break, and it just made it so much better when they met up to hang out again. Or when him and Camille both decided it was for the best that they break up and they remain friends to this day. And of course, he was sure about bringing Y/N on tour. 

She was possibly one of the best people he had ever worked with, and one of the best friends he’s ever had. He was sure about getting close with her, and he was sure about keeping her close. Only, now keeping her close meant keeping her arms length apart, because if he got any closer he wouldn’t be able to handle being with her any closer than a few little touches and hugs and cheek and forehead kisses, not when he couldn’t have her. 

So it was safe to say when he opened his eyes the next morning with Y/N flung over him, her leg between his own, her arm wrapped around his chest with her face pressed into the junction of his shoulder and neck, and her warm soft breaths hitting his bare skin, making goosebumps pimple, he freaked out. 1, because friends did NOT cuddle like this, and 2, the close contact was making his chest clench and his lower abdomen heat up. 

He let out a shaky breath and thanked his lucky stars Y/N was a deep sleeper, and slowly slid out from under her, ignoring how his arms were wrapped around her and his hands were touching her bare skin where her shirt (his shirt really, and that just made it about a billion times worse) had ridden up in the night. As he was pulling his torso from her body after getting his legs out, she let out a whine and her grip on his back tightened. 

His heart beat wildly fast, so fast he wouldn’t be surprised if he looked down and saw it moving through his skin, and he stilled, terrified that she was awake. A few minutes went by, and she didn’t stir anymore, so after chalking her movements up to a dreaming Y/N, he moved a hand and gently took her soft hand off of his bare skin, letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

Finally he’s out of bed, and slipping on the clothes he wore the night before, folding the sweats he borrowed and putting them back in her suitcase.  He grabs his phone off the other side table Y/N never used and reaches her door, making the terrible mistake of looking back. Y/N’s face is smushed into the pillow he put under her head, her lips sightly open as she slept and her arms now curled around the pillow Harry had used last night, and he would swear on his mum’s life that she was breathing in his scent if not for the fact that he was certain she didn’t like him the way he liked her, and he didn’t want to barter his mum’s life on something so uncertain. 

His chest clenched for what felt like the billionth time this morning and even if he didn’t know it then, he had already decided that he couldn’t handle this anymore, whatever this was, and began to push the sleeping girl out of his mind and heart, in order to save himself from future heartbreak.

 。:°ஐ

When Y/N woke up, her bed was empty, and she had never felt akin to a bed until that morning. 

。:°ஐ

The last time Harry really spoke to Y/N was the night he slept over.

It had been a little over a month since then, and she was trying really hard not to let it get to her, but seeing as Harry interacted just fine with everyone else, and his problem seemed to be with just Y/N, she couldn’t help the nagging feeling that she had somehow scared him off. 

A week after he slept over, the only times he spoke to her were for performances and work-related things, and her mind had been swarming with questions. Did she say something about him, or to him while she was sleeping? Sure, she had a dream about him, but it wasn’t anything dirty (although that had happened a few times before), they were just at a carnival and there was a ride in which they got to fly, it was quite fun. Did she cuddle him too much? Sure she could be really touchy when she’s tired, but so can Harry if his wandering hands (only in appropriate places) when they had movie nights were anything to go by.

So her questions went unanswered, and her attempts to speak with him were fruitfully ignored, whether that be he pretends he didn’t hear her the first time, or if he excuses himself before answering because he had to talk to someone about something. 

Everyone else in the band noticed, and Y/N didn’t know it, but everyone at tried to talk to Harry about it at least once. Adam mentioned how Y/N and Harry seemed to have drifted apart and Harry only hummed in agreement, making it obvious he didn’t want to talk about it. Charlotte had asked Harry if he was doing okay, to which he responded “Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” And she didn’t feel like it was her place to tell him that Y/N had come to her crying about Harry’s actions, or lack thereof, towards her and she didn’t know what was wrong. Sarah was blunt with Harry, telling him how it was obvious Y/N and him weren’t speaking and asking what had happened to which Harry shrugged it off and told her that “people grow apart”, and it wasn’t anything personal.  Mitch had tried to the same, to no avail, despite being even more blunt than everyone else.

And that led them here, 15 minutes before Harry’s second, and last night in L.A. on his tour before they head to New York. He was quite looking forward to it, excited to see the few friends who couldn’t make it the night before. It was easy, going out with people after the performance, not having to think about Y/N as he drinks the night away. 

He looked in the mirror in front of him, patting the invisible dust off of his pearl adorned blazer and pants, the wife-beater under his coat so thin his tattoos could be traced. Usually after he was dressed he would pop into the band’s dressing room just to shake off the nerves beforehand, but he stopped doing that after he began to push himself away from Y/N. There would be no where else to sit but next to her, and that didn’t help his overwhelming need to hold her.  So instead, he made his way to the couch in his room, relaxing for the few minutes he had.

Y/N on the other hand was sitting in the dressing room with Sarah, Mitch, Charlotte, and Adam, all conversing about how ready they were, the energy in L.A. the night before had been off the charts, and they were more than excited to feel it again. All Y/N could think about, however, was that this just meant there was one more show to play, then tour would be over, and there would be no more reason to be in Harry’s band. Not when he clearly didn’t want to be friends with her anymore, and she thinks this is the worst she’s ever felt in a long, long time. 

。:°ஐ

The first part of the show goes really well. Harry is hyping up the audience, and everyone is smiling. “She” was the next song they were to play after Harry stopped interacting with the audience and Y/N was excited. It was one of her favorite songs to play, and she loved just stopping and listening when Mitch did his solo. He usually did the more detailed guitar work, while Y/N worked with the backing chords. 

“Alright, the next song we’ll be playing is “She”, let’s make sure not to get Mitch’s ego too high afterwards though.” Harry had laughed into the mic, walking back to the stand and clicking the mic into place. Then, it began. It was good, it really was, until Y/N noticed that Harry had faltered a bit in the chorus, and her eyes followed his own to the blonde hair in the VIP section. It was her, Camille, the muse behind this entire album.  Her heart stuttered as she noticed he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She was gorgeous, prettier than all of the pictures she’s seen.

And Harry was looking only at her in the crowd.  It was then, that Y/N started to go a bit haywire. He began to sing the chorus, and she guesses her fingers held the pick a bit tighter, and strummed bit harder, because after 10 seconds of playing she realized she could no longer hear his voice. Almost immediately did she soften the strumming and look up to see Harry turn to face her, confusion and anger, maybe, written all across his face.  She ignores it and continues to play until the song is over. She’s not listening when the crowd cheers, but she regrets tuning in when Harry introduces the next song on the set list, how he says that it’s possibly one of his favorites, and meet’s his ex’s eyes when he starts to play Cherry.

It’s then that Y/N breaks. She keeps her eyes down, and her strumming quiet, just incase she falters (which she does about 2 times), and when her mouth moves up to sing the backing vocals she realizes that her eyes are welling up and her throat is closing in.  She closes her mouth and continues to play the guitar, missing Harry’s look back at her, and the rest of the band’s attempt to conceal the fact that she had stopped singing in the middle of the verse. 

The rest of the show goes on, and her tears are held back when they all wave goodbye, and when they rush offstage, and when Harry’s hand brushes her arm that she’s sure was a mistake (it wasn’t), and they continue to be held back until she bursts into the unisex restroom just a mere 20 feet away from the dressing rooms. She locks herself in a stall and sits on the closed toilet seat, shaking hands covering her face as she chokes on her sobs, knowing she would never be enough for Harry, thinking about how he want’s nothing to do with her, and how big of a mistake she made going on tour with them, because if she didn’t, then she wouldn’t have fallen in love with Harry, and she wouldn’t be feeling this way. 

What feels like hours, but was actually just 15 minutes of her crying all the tears she could cry, she decided it was better to mope in her own hotel room rather than in a public place where anyone could walk in. She steps out of the stall and doesn’t bother looking in the mirror, only washes her hands, then rinses her face, patting it dry with a cheap brown paper towel. She crumples it up and tosses it in the trashcan, walking out of the restroom to see Harry outside of his dressing room, his arms wrapped around Camille in an intimate embrace. 

Intruding would be a good word to describe how she felt right then, and quickly did she speed walk the other way, trying not to let any more tears fall as she opens the door to the bands dressing room to see Sarah and Mitch packing up her things. One look at her was all it took to break the dam that held her tears, and she covered her mouth with her hand, her head falling down and her other arm wrapping around her stomach, maybe it would make things better.

 Sarah quickly hands Mitch Y/N’s bag that held her sweats, sweatshirt, purse, and phone she brought to the venue, and takes the girl into a much needed embrace. She cried into Sarahs chest for a bit, snotty apologies from Y/N that Sarah waved off, insisting it was okay, and that she would be okay.

After calming her down a bit and receiving a hug from Mitch, she takes her bag and walks into one of the privacy divider boxes, changing into the clothes she would wear tomorrow on the flight, and tonight to sleep in. Mitch and Sarah lead her out of the venue with all of their arms locked, and bring her to the car, the hotel, and lastly her room.

“We’re right next door, if you need anything. Are you sure you don’t want us to stay?” Sarah asked, biting her lip in anxiousness. Y/N shook her head, her puffy eyes hurting from the movement. “No, I’m gonna be okay. Thank you- um, can-can you not tell anyone? I just-”

“Of course we won’t tell anyone,” Mitch interrupts her, making sure she won’t start crying again, because if there’s something he wants least, it’s to see her cry. “We’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay?” 

Y/N nods, and they all hug and part with declarations of love and goodnight’s.

。:°ஐ

Harry just arrived at the hotel after a quick late dinner with Camille at her flat, catching up and eating some really good Chinese take-out. It was always good seeing her, they weren’t super close anymore of course, she had a new boyfriend now, he was there too actually, a really fine lad that he thinks Camille deserves, but he enjoyed getting to see her with no bad-blood.  

So the night was going good, other than Y/N’s weird guitar mishap and her faltering voice during the show, that he couldn’t stop thinking about. 

Well, it was going good, until Mitch called him after Harry sent him a text talking about how he was back at the hotel, and told him that he was really stupid. Told Harry that Y/N seemed really hurt earlier, and how he thinks that Harry ignoring her caught up to her. Of course, Mitch knew it was partially untrue, but to remain loyal to Y/N he couldn’t tell Harry why she was so upset, and exactly how upset Y/N really was. 

Upon hearing this, Harry’s mood deflated and he rushed to Y/N’s hotel room, knocking a few times with a soft “It’s me, Harry.” through the door. Y/N heard it, but there was no way in hell she would open the door for him, so she feigned sleep and hoped he wouldn’t attempt to wake her up. “Are you awake, love?” No answer. “Pet?” No answer. “Okay, well, I just wanted to talk to you, um, but we can do that tomorrow, I-um, I’m sorry.” 

He left, after that, leaving her to curl up in her covers alone, tears leaking from her eyes.

The next morning was anything but fun, they were to wake up at 6 and catch the 7:30 AM flight from L.A. to New York.  Of course, everyone one in the band and a few others got first class, while the rest of the crew rode on Harry’s rented private jet, to hold all the equipment that wasn’t provided at the venue. 

So this meant that Y/N and Harry would have to be stuck in the same cabin of a plane together for about 5 and a half hours. Luckily they weren’t designated to sit next to each other, but Harry had other plans. 

He switched tickets with a hesitant Charlotte and got the aisle seat, where Y/N would have the window seat. He got on first, and got settled in,  biting his lip in nerves, he wasn’t really sure how he would be able to explain away all of his actions to her, but he knew that he had to, he didn’t want to loose Y/N.

Y/N stepped onto the plane, flashing a fake smile at the flight attendant who obviously noticed her puffy eyes and frowning face. Her eyes darted from the row number and seat letter to the ones on the top of the cabin, and when she found the matching pair of seats, there he was, in all his sweatpants-sweatshirt covered glory. 

Her mouth opened to tell him she didn’t want to sit next to him, but when he looked up at her with a soft smile, all she could do was close her lips and sigh, squeezing past him to plop down in the seat with the window. 

He didn’t try to speak to her, and she did the same, but he really wanted to. Wanted to ask her how she was, what she had been doing when they stopped talking (or when he stopped talking to her), if her Mom was still working at the job she wanted to quit or if she finally did it, if she still wanted to get a cat when tour was over, but he just couldn’t. 

He had no idea where to even start, does he talk to her, then hope the conversation will lead to a place where he can apologize, or does he just apologize straight up, but have no explanation as to why he hurt her in the first place.

The internal battle lasted until they landed, when they got off the plane, traveled to the hotel, and when they went to their respective suites.

Y/N considered herself lucky that Harry had decided to not speak to her on the flight. That wouldn’t have given her an option to opt out of the conversation, and she knew he was smarter than that.  She didn’t know however, that when she opened the door to her hotel room after a hasty knock, expecting another member of the band, that Harry would be standing in front of it, his eyes widened in anxiety. 

“Wh-”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out, interrupting her and walking past her into her room that she hadn’t invited him into. “I’m so sorry for ignoring you, and-and not talking to you when you tried to talk to me. You didn’t deserve it, I’m sorry.”

Her brows raised in surprise and she shut the door behind him, staying near the entrance.  As her mouth opened to accept the apology, her mind raced through how she had been feeling the past month and instead she said, “It’s been a fucking month Harry, I-I thought everything was fine, and then one day you just decided to cut me out?”

“I know,” He stepped closer to her, guilt rushing through him. “I know, it was stupid of me, and I shouldn’t have, but I didn’t even know what to say. You wouldn’t even look at me on the flight and I-“

He was interrupted by her walking up and pushing her finger against his chest. “I wouldn’t talk to you?” She scoffed, tears brimming her eyes. “I-what did you expect after you pushed me away for a month, no warning, no reason-”

“Of course I had a reason!” Harry raised his voice, eyes watery as well.  “I fucking love you! That’s why, and-and we were getting too close than friends should, and I couldn’t handle not being with you.”

Silence. 

“Fuck, Y/N I’m so sorry-mmph!”

His apology was silenced by her lips on his, and his eyes widened as he realized what was happening.  They fluttered closed, and his arms wrapped around her torso, while her hands were placed on his cheeks and wowthiswasreallyhappeningandhewasn’tdreamingwashedreamingnohewasn’t-

Y/N pulled away with a deep breath in and laughed a bit, her forehead resting against his. “If you didn’t catch on with that, I love you too.” 

Harry laughed and cheekily grinned, pulling her even closer than she was before. “Really? I’m not sure I got it, can you help me understand a bit more?”

She swatted his chest and kissed him once more. “Cheeky bastard.” 

[bbienha]

enhypen as “enemies to lovers” trope

heeseung<3

warnings: none

it’d be a one-sided hatred

although he never knew why you were always glaring at him during class

or why you were always speaking of him rudely he never went out his way to find out why

everyone was aware of your hatred for him

he was aware, he just didn’t care

that wasn’t until you two were forced to help out with the senior dance along with the student council as extra helpers

because you two hadn’t participated in any class/team building actives that year

your friends froze slightly laughing thinking about the fact that’s you’d and heeseung would ���hang out” non stop for the next 2 weeks

as long as you avoided him there would be no problems? don’t make this harder for yourself.

JUST AVOID HIM!

turns out trying to ignore him was a lot harder than expected

it was either ‘teamwork 🥺’ or doing the work all by yourself

and you being the stubborn petty bitch you are,,

ended up carrying majority of the work while he hung out with his senior friends

it was 7pm after school on a winters night

you two had finished moving all the big boxes of decorations, plates, tables etc (i say you two but it was basically all you)

and you were sitting outside the bus stop swinging your feet back and forward

“gosh he’s so annoying he doesn’t even do any work” you mumbled kicking the rocks underneath your feet

if anybody were to ask you why you hated lee heeseung, one of the chillest people in school, so much? you wouldn’t have been able to answer

by now this memory of yours has been long forgotten but the feelings within are still there

6 year old heeseung and 6 year old y/n at the park running around like children do

(6 year old) y/n say on the swing for at least 30 minutes

or what felt like 30 minutes to heeseung

before he took matters into his own hands and pushed them

it wasn’t his intention to but you flew off the swing grazing your knee on the bark beneath

ever since then you swore to never be friends with people like him

it was dramatic of course but you were 6?! what else would’ve you said

but here you are 18 no memory of that incident whatsoever but still holding a grudge against him because that’s all you’ve ever known

heeseung was too waiting for his bus, actually he was catching the same bus as you

usually he would catch number 12 but it was night and this was the only route left

it was also the fastest route but he never had taken it

he lived on the same street as you, same class, same year, same after school activities yet he barely ever saw you around

that’s because he knew about your little annoyance for him

sometimes he would wonder what he did wrong

“should i go up to them and ask?”

“did i say something wrong?”

he often thought about confronting you but then again you two had never had a conversation past “hello” “*dead silence*”

he would take longer routes home, different buses to school and change his schedule for asa (after school activities) because he didn’t want to burden you

so there he stood, 5 feet away in the rain, trying to hide away from you so you wouldn’t get mad

maybe that’s why you disliked him?

because he never worked for anything yet you two had the same social status.

ahhh that must be why!

so the next day he put more effort into what he did

you didn’t understand why, and you were more confused than ever when he snatched the heavy cardboard boxes form your hands

“i can take this”

“i’ll hang this”

“don’t worry, sit down, i’ll fix the fridge”

something inside of you started to bubble a similar feeling to when yesterday when you wanted to punch his guys out for not helping

but also different... probably because he WAS helping now

“whatever” you scoffed letting him do all the work

hey? maybe this is fair. you did yesterday’s and he can do today

heeseung was stunned but kept his mouth shut as he didn’t wnat to get on your bad side

“y/n” he calls out for help

gosh he can’t do anything by himself can he?

even his voice irritates you but when you walk over to him, you find yourself with a badly made cupcake and a sorry note

wtfff is this? you think to urself

and for the first time in 12 years heeseung finds the courage to ask why you were so distant

silence

it wasn’t that you were trying to be rude but more you didn’t have an answer to give him

“ahh” he nodded awkwardly

“i guess some things are meant to be kept secret?” he rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he had picked up from watching american tv shows

you tapped your foot on the ground all suddenly realising you were being rude for no reason

a arrow of guilt had shot right through your heart and you didn’t know what to do now

“don’t worry” he smiled brightly “i’ll prove to you why you can trust me :) i’m hard working too yk?”

and there you were, stunned. never in your life had you talked to him for so long

so now you were just bring down on your lip hoping to run away

“alright. cool” you say and leave him be.

the next 2 weeks were exactly as he said, he went above and beyond for this senior dance

not only finding more to add to the night but cheaper and better events for the nights

this was a job for the student council yet here he was helping as if he was son of them

anddd he too had also warmed up to you as well

you had to admit the past few days of his constant nagging and clingy behaviour did erupt some kind of feeling in your stomach

and heeseung as well felt comforted knowing he wasn’t n.1 on your hit list anymore

“so what to you think?” he asked passing you a cola can

“of?”

“of me? do you still hate me?”

GUILT GUILT GUILT GUILT

“w-what are you talking about?! i never hated you!!! don’t try make me a bad person” you rambled making sure he wouldn’t misunderstand you like you did to him

he laughed “ik ik i’m just joking”

even after a very very long 12 years of hating his perfect set of teeth and bright grin you can’t help return the smile

in the max of 14 days he had you regretting every thought you use to have

there would be a small conversation about the dance and who you and your friends were going with

until it dawned on you, nobody had asked you out

i mean who would after your scary persona with the school

“so then, would you... like to go with me?”

you accepted it of course but made it very clear to him you were only doing this because you didn’t want to seem lonely

right?

on the night of the dance, you were the best person of the night

absolutely stunning!

at least to heeseung because he couldn’t take his eyes off of you

from then on, you weren’t known as “heeseungs personal hater 🥶” but now as his s/o

(and apparently the one who makes him the most happy, said his friends)

next is jay

[peaches-writes]

before one a.m.

description: bang chan, college of music, friend of a friend who surprisingly offers to share a workplace in a cafe on this busy friday night member: chan genre: fluff, college au, strangers to friends au, reader is a fine arts student word count: 7.4k warning: explicit language note: inspired by the before trilogy but it kinda feels like i didn’t do it justice i rlly cant do strangers to anything lmao im a clown + this took rlly long but it’s not that good sldkfjkdsl :( 

6:30 PM

You hurriedly skip up the steps of the campus library’s entrance staircase, backpack slung over one shoulder and your laptop, tucked in its own bag, and a sketchbook pressed to your chest. Entering through the double doors, you breathlessly sigh in disappointment at seeing most of the working tables full. I run from Fine Arts across the oval to a full library, you huff at scanning the floor from the entrance one last time before proceeding to run up the staircase by the reception desk, skipping the steps again in an attempt to cross the distance faster. 

On the second to the last step, as you focus on not missing the steps you hop onto, your shoulders accidentally bump into someone rushing down from the opposite side, almost making you slip if not for the stranger who quickly steadies you by your upper arm in time. “Woah there.” A familiar voice mutters under his breath as you regain composure. “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry!”

You look up from almost dropping your laptop and sketchbook on the staircase, meeting eyes with an apologetic Bang Chan who has moved a step above you with a messenger bag and his infamous laptop. 

“Are you okay?” He prods on, going down one step again so you’re on the same level now.

Though he’s in a different college, you know him by name and face from similar social circles, hence the slight embarrassment you felt at recognizing him after almost slipping right in front of him. “I’m okay.” You muse, eyes then flitting over to the second floor entrance. “Is it full too?” 

Chan nods once, fixing his messenger bag with one hand as it starts to feel heavy. “Y-yeah, it’s finals week in the College of Sciences, I think.” 

“Oh.” You frown. “Well, that’s too bad.”

The two of you stand in silence for a moment, you slowly alternating your gaze between the second floor and the staircase leading back to the first, contemplating on what to do now, while Chan strangely waits for you to say something again. 

When you don’t speak, he speaks up again, “Do you want to...” He trails off until you avert your gaze back to him. “I’m going to Block 325 to work. Do you want to come and share a table with me?” 

Your eyes widen, surprised at a fellow college student being generous enough to share a study spot with you, but Chan misinterprets, thinking you don’t remember him from when you were introduced in Seungmin’s birthday party. “I’m sorry.” He quickly apologizes again, scratching the nape of his neck sheepishly. “It’s just that I thought you’d—now I sound like a creep. I’m so sorry, that’s not my intention at all.”

Simultaneously, you respond, “O-Oh, I was just surprised. College students aren’t really that generous with work areas—what?” 

Chan takes a step backward, leaning close to the railings. “W-What?” 

You chuckle, amused by the small miscommunication that suddenly made the atmosphere lighter. “Why did you think you sounded like a creep? I just said it’s a nice offer, not everyone here offers to share work spaces.” 

“Well, I thought you didn’t recognize me,” He answers honestly. “we were introduced at Seungmin’s party?”

You shake your head, your smile growing at how cute he looks when he’s flustered. “Bang Chan, right? College of Music.” You smile when he nods innocently. “See? I’m more worried you didn’t recognize me, CB97.” 

Chan blushes in embarrassment, but even more in the way his Soundcloud rapper name rolls off your lips almost teasingly. “So...” He changes the topic immediately. “Do you want to go with me, Y/N?” 

You nod, noting the way he mimicked the tone you used in referring to him by his stage name. “Of course, thank you for offering to share a workspace.”

“No problem, any friend of Seungmin’s my friend too.” He waves his free hand dismissively before leading you down the staircase. “Come on, let’s go.” 

You leave the library together, the feeling of the building’s cold air conditioning leaving escaping your skin making you sweat slightly. You don’t skip down the stairs this time since Chan doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to get to Block 325 cafe, North of the campus oval. 

“Look.” Chan points up as the two of you reach the sidewalk. You follow his gaze as you continue walking, seeing the sunset’s sky move with the crown shyness of trees forming a canopy over the road. “Careful when you’re walking.”

You deliberately ignore his last comment, musing, “Wow, it’s so beautiful.” Your mouth falls agape and your eyes widen. “The canopy shape makes it look so magical, don’t you think?”

“You don’t stay late out here much?” Chan asks when you turn your eyes back to the sidewalk ahead. 

You return his gaze with a shrug, “Only on hell weeks like this...but even then, I usually stay in our department building so I don’t get out much at this hour.” 

“So why aren’t you working in your building tonight?” 

“The floor where I usually work overnight is under renovation. I can’t work at my dorm too since we don’t really have that much space for studying,” Your eyes move down to his laptop bag, noticing how it’s bulkier than yours. “What about you? Don’t they have studios in the College of Music?” 

“They’re full tonight since a lot of seniors are starting their thesis proposals.” He points out. “I’m actually not out making a school project, this one’s for a gig.”

“And in your dorms?” 

“It’s movie night so everyone’s going to be really noisy.”

“Oh, then lucky you didn’t get a table in the library,” You point out with a giggle. “the entire College of Sciences would’ve been pissed at you.” 

Chan scoffs lightheartedly, “And you? If you got a table, the entire library would’ve gotten annoyed by you making a mess.” 

“I’m organized when I work outside the studio, thank you very much.” You roll your eyes, chuckling towards the end. “But yeah, I guess it’s better that we’re going to a cafe since I’m working with watercolor.” 

At this, you arrive in front of Block 325 cafe, Chan courteously opening the door for you.  

7:30 PM

You settle in a booth by the window, illuminated by a white paper lantern and one of the cafe’s neon signs that reads, “COFFEE,” in a metallic color. Chan sits across from you and takes the half of the table near the window, his laptop blocking his face and his headphones covering his ears, while you sit near the aisle, occasionally mistaking your open cup of latte for the small bowls you brought with you containing tap water as you work on your plate due on Monday.

Chan glances over to your work space whenever he reviews his work every 15 minutes, propping an elbow on the table and resting his cheek on his palm, and you take rests from your own work by trying to catch him in the act, giggling when you do and shaking your head when you don’t. 

As an hour passes by, you put your brush down to let your plate dry and look up at Chan as he tests out melodies on his synthesizer, taking a long sip of your latte before asking, “How’s your song?” 

Chan’s eyes widen at the faint hint of your voice, hands traveling up to his headphones and taking them off. “Hm?” 

“I asked how’s it going.” You repeat patiently over your latte. The sweet taste of the coffee brew reminds you of Chan’s coffee order, finding the cappuccino only half-empty in the hour you’ve been in the cafe. 

“Oh, it’s going well.” He answers proudly, eyes alternating between your expectant eyes and his laptop’s screen. “I’m just fixing some mixing issues.”

You nod, looking around the surprisingly organized table. Before Chan could wear his headphones again, you gesture to the counter, “I’m ordering. Do you want anything?” 

He shakes his head in response, wearing his headphones again. “No, thank you, I’ll order later.” 

You purse your lips, standing up from your seat and briefly stretching your arms upwards. “Okay.” You then adjust your denim jacket as it loosely falls on your right shoulder before walking over to the counter. 

“Hello, is there anything you need?” The barista on duty politely asks from brewing an Americano behind the counter. Though the cafe is full today, like you and Chan, most of the customers are only here for the wifi and the work space. 

You skim through the menu once before leaning over the counter and responding, “I’ll have two slices of strawberry shortcake, a banana bread, and the chocolate glazed doughnut, please.” The barista immediately acknowledges it, moving over to the cashier to input your order. “Thank you!” 

You then pay when the she tells you the price, moving over to the display case of desserts and pastries where she then carefully takes your orders. 

You survey the other desserts, pastries, and bottled drinks before your eyes return to Chan across the cafe, catching him leaning over the table and trying to take a peek at your work from his angle, making you giggle once again. 

And as if he heard you, he turns to you, eyes widening briefly at getting caught before awkwardly waving at you. You decide on waving back until the barista presents your order next to the counter, neatly organized on a tray. 

“Thank you again!” You say politely before taking the tray and going back to your table, Chan eyeing all the delicacies the entire time. 

“Stressed much?” He asks, pointing at the two slices of strawberry shortcake. When you look down, only then do you realize that the two slices were placed in one plate with a pair of forks and napkins. “Not that it’s bad to eat a lot, it’s just...a lot of sweets.”

“The other one’s supposed to be for you but I guess the barista thought we’re sharing a plate.” You hand him the chocolate glazed doughnut, thrusting it into his hands when he initially refuses. “You need to eat on time even when it’s just a small amount.” 

“I’ll pay you later,” Chan says after thanking you for the doughnut, reluctantly unwrapping the plastic cover and taking a big bite. “And you can have the cake, it’s fine.” 

“I can’t finish the cake on my own.” You sit down now, taking a bite of the banana bread with one hand while pushing the cake at the center of the table with the other. Chan then politely helps you by placing the tray on the empty space of his share of the table. “Just take the other slice, you don’t have to pay me” 

“But—“

“It’s for offering me a table tonight.” You immediately interject reassuringly. “Please, have the other slice of cake.”

Chan ends up smiling appreciatively at you, picking up one of the forks and cutting a forkful. “...Thank you.” 

You nod, moving your banana bread to your non-dominant hand to pick up your brush and go back to work. “No problem.” You muse, smiling unconsciously at watching Chan stop working altogether to eat. “Like you said, ‘any friend of Seungmin’s a friend of mine too.’”

As you turn back to painting, returning to your unfinished Winter wonderland, you look at Chan again, asking, “Anyway, what do you think?” 

He looks up immediately, his slice of cake almost gone. You quickly clarify, “My plate, I mean.” 

“Oh,” His eyes flicker down to your work again once. “It’s really beautiful. Akita, right?” You nod at his question, letting him continue. “I love the details and the colors—they seem so whimsical and nostalgic, like a childhood memory.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks by the genuine tone of his voice, “Thank you. I hope the professor feels the same way when he sees it.”

“Why Akita?"

“We’re supposed to make a study on nature but I didn’t want to just make something that’s so common around here so I chose this, from a winter trip I won in an art competition last year.” You look down on your work, a flood of memories making your smile wider. “It was the first time I went on a trip alone and it’s abroad so it was a little scary at first but I had a lot of fun.” 

“Really? That sounds cool.” He comments enthusiastically. “It must be fun to travel on your own. I mean, I do too but, sort of; only until I arrive in Australia when I visit my family.” 

Simultaneously, you nod, “It is fun, like it’s one of the things you have to do at one point in your life.” 

“Right, right!” He replies with a chuckle, nodding along still. “I don’t know a lot of people who think the same way so I’m weirdly glad.”  

You spare a glance at Chan, your gaze softening at his genuine expression. When he gives you a questioning look, you answer, “I’m surprised, too; you just seem more like the crowd-type of person.” 

He shrugs. “It’s always fun to be with friends but I think you can enjoy the company of others the best when you’re already comfortable with being on your own.” 

“And are you?” You prod, reaching over for the unused fork and and taking a small piece of your strawberry cake. “Already comfortable with being on your own?” 

He nods with a confident grin. “Yeah, I invited you over, didn’t I?” 

You smile back. “I guess so.” 

8:30 PM

An hour later, you catch Chan stretching his arms upward, leaning back on the seat cushions. You momentarily stop touching up your work, looking up at him with a raised brow, “Break?” 

He nods, stifling a yawn as he brings his hand back down to close his laptop. “Just for 10 minutes.” He gestures over to your work, leaning close to the table. “You should, too, you’ve been working for an hour straight.” 

You glance down at your work, contemplating for a moment before carefully placing your brush to the side and leaning back to your seat as well. “Okay, but just for 10 minutes.” 

You then finish what remains of your latte while Chan organizes the table by gathering all the empty wrappers and your shared plate and cutlery to the tray you used a while back. In response, you take his empty glass. 

“I can take that.” He gestures over to the glasses in your hand with your empty plate while scooting over to the aisle. “Just sit down.” 

You shake your head but place the glass on the tray, standing up almost simultaneously as he does. You then pick up your bowls of paint waiter, holding them up to him. “I’m going to go and change my water.” 

“Oh...okay, then.” The two of you then proceed to the counter where the barista happily takes the tray from Chan’s hands while you dump your dirty paint water in their service sink and replace it with cleaner tap water. 

“Thank you for letting me use your water, again.” You told the barista after Chan offered to carry one of your bowls. 

“It’s no problem!” The barista replies with a dismissive wave and a smile. 

You and Chan then carefully return to your table, placing your bowls on your half of the table. 

Chan checks the time on his phone as he sits down, 8:34 PM. “We still have six minutes, what do you want to talk about?” 

“You’re really keeping check?” You ask in disbelief to Chan who nods with his lips in pursed and his arms folded to his chest as he slides down his seat. “So responsible.” 

“I just thought you might be wary of the time,” He shrugs nonchalantly. “so you can go home early and all, it’s Friday anyway.”

You shake your head, scrunching up your nose, “I don’t have to be somewhere this weekend. All my friends are all busy studying and catching deadlines and Seungmin’s tutoring someone for the entire weekend.”

You decide on busying yourself by scrolling through your Instagram on your phone, glancing over at Chan occasionally as he contemplates on what else to say while opening his laptop again. 

“How do you know Seungmin by the way? If I may ask...?” He settles for such a question when his eyes trail over the customized keychain on your backpack, a photo of you, Seungmin, and your other best friend, Sooyoung, in a Mickey Mouse-shaped frame. “I mean, he talks about you a lot when we hang out but didn’t introduce us until recently so I thought you were dating but he said you aren’t so I’m just...curious.”

When you look up at him, you follow his gaze to your keychain, an amused smile taking over your features. “We’re not dating, just childhood friends but not really close to the point that we know all of the other’s friends.” Unconsciously, your hand finds their way to the keychain, fiddling with them lightly before turning to Chan. “Anyway, even if we just met recently, I’m really happy it’s you and the others he specifically befriended.”

Chan nods with a hum. When he doesn’t speak, you ask him back his question, “How about you? I’m guessing you met through Felix and Jeongin?” 

“Yeah,” He agrees with another nod. “I toured them around campus last year during their orientation.” 

“Aw, you’re in the Orientation Committee?” You coo. Even though it suits his personality, hearing him say it out loud made it somehow more adorable. “That’s so cute! That’s probably why I always hear the Freshmen gossip about you in our studios.” 

His eyes widen at this, pink dusting his cheeks. “W-what?” He stammers, making you laugh. 

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know.” You shake your head in feign disapproval, crossing your arms for emphasis. “You’re very popular on campus: music major, radio DJ, performs in a rap trio, and I just find out that you’re in the Orientation Committee touring Freshman on the first week? If I was any batch lower, I would’ve swooned over you in my first months here too. Oh? You’re blushing!” 

Chan scoffs, rolling his eyes in an attempt to hide the now prominent blush on his cheeks. “I’m not, I’m not!” He waves his hand dismissively to distract you from the clearly seeing his face. 

“You definitely are!” You point out in between chuckles, sitting up properly when you unconsciously slide down the booth. “Are you not used to getting compliments? Seriously, this is why I didn’t think you’d remember me from earlier: you’re too charming and popular with other students.” 

Internally, he briefly wonders if you’d still swoon over him even when you’re in the same batch but quickly pushes the thought away. “I really don’t think I’m that popular. I’m pretty sure people like Jisung and Changbin more.” He shrugs. “And popular or not, I can remember you anywhere.”

The last sentence immediately makes you stop laughing, your heart skipping a beat at what you think is just a casual statement from him, You come up with a retort, only to be interrupted by a sound alert from Chan’s phone, reminding the two of you that it’s already 8:40 PM. 

“Okay, break’s done!” He exclaims happily, relieved that he can finally get out of this embarrassing conversation. 

You tsk playfully, picking up your brush while Chan opens his laptop again. “I still think you’re very charming and popular, CB97.” You comment before he can tune you out with his music again. “In fact, if someone asked, I’ll have to say that you’re my favorite 3racha member.” 

Chan pretends to increase the volume on his laptop in his flustered state. You catch this, an amused smile forming on your lips. You conclude to yourself that you feel more casual and comfortable around him now that you made him flustered. 

Cute. 

9:30 PM

You’ve been done for quite a while now, having busied yourself in the past 5 minutes in disposing the paint water, cleaning your brushes, and packing your things while your work completely dries. Chan looks up at you from his own work when you return with clean bowls and brushes, his headphones falling down his shoulders. Hesitantly, he asks, “Are you leaving?” 

You sit down first, contemplating on the question as you carefully place your bowls and brushes inside your bag, before opting for a shrug and answering, “I’m too lazy to leave yet.” You then briefly break eye contact to check your phone for the time. “Besides, it’s too early. I can stick around, right?” 

He nods once, lifting his headphones up to his ears again. “Yeah, it’s okay.” 

You give him an appreciative smile, leaning back in your seat and opening your phone to Instagram. Blindly, you reach your backpack pockets for your earphones as well, managing to find them after a while. 

Simultaneously, Chan lifts another glance over to you just as you’re connecting your earphones to your phone. A thought then passes over him, “Do you want to...” He trails off again, just until you return his gaze with a raised eyebrow. “Do you want to listen with me?” 

“Wouldn’t we bother everyone else studying?” You ask back in response, your forehead crinkling in confusion as you gesture over to the other remaining customers in the vicinity. 

He quickly pauses his music and takes out what seems to be an adapter that splits into two ports on one end, holding it between the two of you. “You can connect your earphones here, I’ll do the same, then I’ll plug it on my laptop.” He motions to his laptop while taking out his headphones’ audio jack towards the end. “It’s an earphone splitter—for sharing music from one device, basically.” 

“Oh.” You nod along in fascination. You then disconnect your earphones from your phone, plugging it on one of the two ports of the splitter. “Okay, if it’s okay to listen.”

He shrugs reassuringly. “Well, it’s an unreleased track but it’s okay since everyone’s going to hear anyway—just don’t tell Changbin I let you listen to it first before him.” His eyes then widen and his mouth falls slightly agape when you get up from your seat, leaving your earphones on the table, and move to the empty space next to him, picking up your earphones again and placing the buds on your ears. 

You look to your side, raising an eyebrow at his surprised expression, “What?” 

“N-Nothing.” He stammers out, casting his eyes downward to connect his headphones to the splitter’s other port then connecting the splitter itself to his computer. 

You giggle. “I can’t stay in my seat, I’ll get cramps from leaning over the table.”

He pretends to ignore your comment in his flustered state, his mouse hovering over to the very start of the track before pressing play. “Playing now.” 

You slide down the booth comfortably, shoulders jumping slightly at the soft drums and bass that flows into your earphones instead of the usual aggressive percussion and beat that everyone associates with Chan’s rap group. Next to you, Chan props his elbow on the table and rests his cheek on the palm of his hand, pretending to watch the stacked and overlapping tracks’ wavelengths move with the music’s progression while stealing glances in your direction, trying to catch a reaction. 

“What’s the name of this track?” You ask over the music, your voice coming out louder against Changbin’s rap. “Does it have a name already?” 

He unconsciously grasps the fabric of his hoodie with his free hand, holding it up to you. “Hoodie season?” 

You chuckle, a little skeptical. “You sound unsure. Did you come up with that on the spot?”

But he shakes his head, gesturing over to the file name. “It’s the name of the track, seriously.” Internally, he also wonders why he seemed to have hesitated. 

"It’s a fitting name, I guess.” You end up nodding with a hum, eyes lighting up when Jisung begins to sing. “Perfect for the incoming Winter.” 

Jisung then starts rapping after the chorus, surprising you once again. “As expected of Han Jisung.” You clap lightly in satisfaction, a proud smile on your face. “Changbin’s verse was also great. Ah, I can’t wait to hear this live.” 

Chan starts feeling visibly anxious next to you as his verse nears, leg bouncing up and down under the table and his fingers poking into his cheek to the beat of the song, that he blurts out, “We’re performing here before break.”

You look up from the laptop screen to him expectantly. “Really? When? What time?” You ask hurriedly, not wanting to speak over the music in case Chan’s part comes up next. 

“On the Saturday before break, I think?” He answers, eyes glancing back and forth between you and the track. “Saturday night, from what I can remember.” 

The chorus then plays again after Jisung’s verse, making you sit up properly in your seat once again in anticipation for Chan’s verse. “Tickets?” You ask him to the already familiar tune of the chorus. 

“It’s free admission.” He answers, the most anxious now. Why did they have to say I’m their favorite member? He sighs in his head at the very cause of his sudden anxiousness. 

Chan’s verse then plays, your tight-lipped smile turning into a satisfied grin. You don’t say anything more, leaving Chan internally lingering over the question of whether or not you’ll attend the gig. 

“Hey, baby, I’ll make you my lover, ay. I’m thankful that I’m warm in the Autumn, ooh ah, ooh ah, I’ll hold you wherever we go.”

You chuckle somewhere between the lyrics, looking over at Chan in amusement who returns your gaze with a confused look. “You make hoodies sound so romantic.” You comment, answering his unspoken question. “Not that it can’t be, it’s just that you made it sound witty and funny somehow.” 

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” He asks with genuine concern. The song now ends but you don’t take your earphones out of the splitter and he doesn’t bother as well. 

“It’s a good thing.” You comment, careful of your tone in case you let it slip that you’re totally swooning over him right now. “Plus, this sounds fresh—it’s so different from the songs you usually put out.” 

“Really? Thanks.” He heaves a sigh of relief, smiling more carefree now. 

The two of you don’t speak for a while, not even bothering to take out your earphones. Sitting closer to Chan now, you feel even more lazy to get up and move back to your seat, much less leave and walk to your dorm right outside campus. 

After a while, Chan speaks up again. “Want to listen to something else?” 

You motion over to the track, “Are you done already? I might be interrupting your work.” 

He tilts his head to the side, placing his propped up arm on the table back on his lap as he sits up properly. “It’s pretty much done, just needs a little tweaking on the mixing. I can do that later.” For emphasis, he saves the track and exits the software, the screen displaying his files folder. “Come on, choose a song.” 

You scoot closer to him, your leg brushing against his now as you lean closer to the screen while he slowly scrolls down the files for you. “Oh, play WOW, that one’s funny.” 

Chan frowns. “Not that one, please.” 

In retaliation, you quickly swipe the mouse from him and play the track, laughing maniacally as the familiar intro skit begins to play. 

“Oh God.” Chan groans in embarrassment, hiding his face in his hands.

But he lets the music anyway. Though he’s feeling very embarrassed, all these feelings are immediately forgotten with seeing you enjoying yourself.   

10:40 PM

The barista passes by your table to remind you kindly that the cafe is closing in a while. Only then do you realize that, besides her, it’s just you and Chan in the cafe now, having spent the last hour going through Chan’s laptop. 

“Ah, time passed by really quickly.” Chan muses as he finishes packing up his laptop then slings his backpack on his shoulder. You stand on the aisle, backpack on one shoulder while your laptop and sketchbook are tucked neatly on one arm reminiscent of when you came in, as you watch and wait for him quietly. 

“It sure did.” You nod when he turns to face you, walking you to the door now. He opens the door for you again, chuckling when you tried beating him to it. “Oh, that reminds me, we only ate sweets a while ago.” 

Chan hums in acknowledgement, catching up to you after closing the door behind him. Now, the campus oval is illuminated by yellow street lights, white building lights, and the occasional passing car against the dark night sky, a complete contrast from when you were outside hours ago. Besides the two of you, there’s barely any people outside anymore as well. 

“Chan?” You tilt your head so that you have a better view of his face while walking, catching him off-guard in his dazed state. 

“Yeah?” He blinks twice, embarrassed that he accidentally drowned you out. “Sorry, I zoned out.” 

“You look like you fell asleep for a second there. I asked if you wanted to get a late dinner.” You repeat your question with a chuckle, facing the sidewalk ahead now. You see the library still open at this time from up ahead, half-empty from the view on the clear windows now that it’s nearing midnight. “My dorm’s across the West entrance and there’s a 24-hour grill on the corner of our street.” 

“Oh...sure, sure,” Chan replies, suddenly realizing that he’s hungry again. “We can just eat at my dorm up ahead on the South side, though, it’s nearer.”

“In your dorm?” You raise an eyebrow teasingly. 

“Yeah?” He replies back in an unsure manner before quickly realizing how he seemed to have come off. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that! We have a common area with a kitchen. I’ll cook for you, don’t worry!” 

You nod in agreement just as you pass the intersection leading to the East entrance, laughing at the way his eyes crinkle in embarrassment. “I was just joking, sure, let’s go to your dorm.”

Chan sighs next to you, awkwardly rubbing the nape of his neck with his free hand. Such a tease. “Our pantry’s just ramen and canned food, though, so don’t raise your expectations too much.” He warns you lightly once he’s recovered from being a flustered mess. 

“Seungmin says you cook fine, though,” You counter. “so I’m still having these expectations.” 

You reach his dorm after 10 more minutes, Chan walking ahead as you walk up the steps of the entrance so he can open the door for you for the third time this evening and lead you into the common area kitchen. You catch sight of a few familiar faces in the dim light of the lounge area, mostly younger students from your department raving over an action movie playing on the big flat screen and Jisung and Changbin who greet you with knowing smiles on their faces before you disappeared into the kitchen. 

“Are they always glad to see people?” You gesture over to Jisung and Changbin behind you from the wide open doorway as you and Chan leave your things by an empty bench. You briefly turn around to look at them once again, catching them wiggling their eyebrows at Chan before they notice you looking and waving at you with sarcastically sweet smiles in return. “It’s just that...they’re smiling really weird.”

You then turn back around to see Chan a few steps ahead of you shoot the two younger boys an annoyed look, shooing them away with his hand when they lean over the lounge sofa they occupy to have a better look of you and Chan, before turning to you again and laughing nervously, “They’re just being weird, ignore them.” 

“Okay?” You nod, quickly dismissing the thought, before sitting down on the dining table as Chan proceeds to open the nearby refrigerator, passing you a pitcher of water and two glasses. 

He then moves over to the overhead cabinets to your left, examining its contents once before turning to you, “Chicken, beef, or jajangmyeon?” 

“Jajangmyeon, please.” You answer happily as you pour water on the two glasses in front of you. “I can’t believe Bang Chan of 3racha is making me ramen on a Friday night.” 

“Stop teasing me.” He scoffs playfully, taking out four packets of jajangmyeon and opening another cabinet for a clean pot and ladle. He glances over to you slyly over his shoulder, looking away immediately when he catches you taking off your denim jacket to place on your chair behind you. 

You take a sip of the cold water, the sensation making you feel refreshed after hours of working. “Bang Chan of 3racha offered me a work table, called my art pretty, let me listen to an unreleased song, and is now cooking for me—and this is the first time we talked without our mutual friend Seungmin.” You continue teasing him anyway, more as an attempt to distract yourself from the fact that he does look very handsome cooking even with your limited view. “I take back what I said a while ago, I’m definitely swooning right now.” 

Though your tone is casual and playful, Chan can’t find it in himself to fight the blush creeping up his cheeks and the way his hands shake slightly while cooking jajangmyeon. “I’ll burn your share of the jajangmyeon.” 

He hears you laugh behind him. “You wouldn’t dare.”

11:30 PM

You’re presented with a steaming bowl of jajangmyeon along with a few quick side dishes after 10 minutes of scrolling through your Twitter with the dorm’s guest wifi. You thank Chan as you pick up your chopsticks, eating when he does as he sits right across from you. 

“Oh, this is really really good!” You comment after a bite, eyes bright and hands clasping together in satisfaction once again. “I don’t usually trust Seungmin but he is right, you cook well.” 

Chan narrows his eyes at you, his lips unconsciously forming a pout as he chews. “You tease me then turns out you’ve been doubting my cooking skills this whole time.” 

His expression makes you laugh in between big bites of your late dinner. “I meant to say after that what Seungmin said was an understatement, you’re not just fine you’re great so stop pouting!” You take a sip of water after swallowing your fourth bite, your gaze softening to a more sincere expression now. “Anyway, thank you for making me dinner.” 

He smiles shyly now, quickly eating his food to reply, “You bought me cake and a doughnut and kept me company tonight so thank you, too.” 

You take more sips of water as you slowly finish half your bowl before replying, “If I thank you again for offering me a table then we’d go on thanking each other the whole night.” 

He laughs, nodding wholeheartedly in agreement. “Let’s just say thank you at the same time and be done with it.” 

“Right.” You agree. “So, thank you for everything tonight.” 

“Same...thank you for tonight.” He then takes a sip of water before suddenly standing up, catching your attention. “There’s more jajangmyeon in the pot, do you want some more?” 

“Yes, thank you!” 

12:20 AM 

You hold your used silverware tightly as you walk over to the sink, making sure Chan doesn’t snatch them from you and accidentally break them or wash them on his own. 

“Just let me do this since you cooked.” You argue for the fifth time since your conversation shifted from the most random of topics to determining who washes the plates, successfully placing the silverware on the sink almost at the same time as Chan does so. When he tries to gently move you out of the way, you stay firmly on your spot by holding the kitchen counter. “Besides, it’s just one set of plates.” 

“You’re in my dorm so let me wash the plates.” He protests for the second time as well while trying to swat your hands away. After two tries, he successfully moves you to the side, passing you a random packet of biscuits from the overhead cabinet to occupy yourself with. “You don’t have to make things even with us, we’re just hanging out casually.” 

You frown, opening the packet and eating a biscuit anyway. “Still, if someone cooked the other should wash the plates, that’s how it goes.” 

“That’s how it goes only when it’s a date.” He mumbles under his breath, not really expecting that you would catch it. 

“A date?” 

Quickly, he waves his hand dismissively at you. "Nothing. Seriously, it’s fine.” He smiles at you reassuringly, eventually feeling relieved when you don’t tease him further. “Anyway, it’s been a long night and you still have to walk back to your dorm after this so just rest over there.” 

You look down on your biscuits, a thought suddenly coming into mind. “Have a biscuit, then.”

“No, just eat it.” 

“Come on.” You hold up a biscuit to his face as he busies himself with scrubbing the plates and glasses. When he look your way or open his mouth, you poke his lips with the end of the biscuit. “Seriously, eat the biscuit!”

You see him trying to stifle a laugh as you continue poking around his lips with the biscuit, making you laugh as well. Moving away so you don’t take it as an opportunity, he replies, “If I eat this biscuit, will you let me walk you to the West gate? It’s late and dark out.”

You contemplate on this for a moment, your hand stopping in midair. Chan takes this as an opportunity to take a small bite of the biscuit, “Hey, you bit it already!” 

He nods, leaning his head to your hand when you try retracting it then taking another bite. “Yeah, so can I walk you home then call it finally even.” 

You sigh, letting him eat the whole biscuit in your hand. “Okay.” 

“You wouldn’t feel like you need to repay me again after, okay?” 

“Only if you don’t.” 

“Deal.” He concludes, finally turning to look at you while he rinses the soap off the glasses. “Can I have another one?” 

You take out another biscuit, initially extending it over to him before quickly putting it in your mouth before he can even take a bite. “Just kidding, you get the next one.” You mumble while taking out another biscuit, giving it to him this time when he’s done drying his hands, frowning. 

“You’re so mean.” He comments, taking the biscuit from your hand. 

“That’s what you signed up for when you decided on befriending me tonight.” You point out with a laugh, crumpling the wrapper and throwing it in the proper trash bin. 

“Anyway, aren’t you tired? Should we go now?” He changes the topic after a while, walking over to the bench where you left your things. 

You follow him, taking your jacket from the chair you previously occupied on the way. “Yeah before the RA kills me.” 

He laughs. “Strict?”

“Not used to me staying out at this hour.” You correct, pointing at your bag when he picks it up and slings it over his shoulder. “You don’t have to.” 

“This is what you signed up for when you agreed to let me walk you back.” He throws your comeback at you this time as he takes your laptop and sketchbook. “Come on, before your RA kills you.” 

With a defeated sigh, you follow Chan out, almost missing the way Jisung and Changbin follow the two of you with curious eyes as you pass by the lounge once again. 

“Do you think...” Jisung asks Changbin, not even needing to finish his question to get it across as Changbin fervently nods. 

“I think so too.” Changbin replies, taking out his phone. “Should we tell Seungmin?”

12:50 AM

Eventually you reach the West gate. You stop on the side of the overpass, making Chan stop walking as well. 

“I can walk on my own from here, it’s okay.” You smile reassuringly up at him. “Thanks for walking me all the way here again.” 

He shakes his head, not showing any hint of letting go of your things. “I can walk you to your dorm entrance, though.” 

You gesture over to your dorm building with an amused laugh, “It’s literally right next to the other end of the overpass. I don’t want you walking back with an extra distance.” When his skeptical look doesn’t fade away, you sigh but with an appreciative smile. “If you’re worried so much, you can just watch me from here then I’ll wave at you from the other side.” 

After a moment, he finally gives in, handing you your belongings then stepping back so you can go up the overpass stairs. “Okay, okay.”

Such a gentleman, you muse internally to yourself as you take a step up the stairs, still facing him. “Goodnight, Chan.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He returns the greeting to you, hesitating on the last minute to give you a hug like he would do with his close friends. That’s too weird you just talked today, he reminds himself.  

You pretend not to notice the way he almost extended his arms out for a hug, secretly feeling shy yourself. “I’ll see you when I see you?” 

“How about the gig before break?” He asks, another question lingering in his mind but he decides on not asking it as a follow-up. 

You nod in agreement, “I’ll be there, of course, you mentioned it a while ago.”

You’re about to turn around and walk up the overpass at noticing that he doesn’t show any sign of wanting to say anything else when you suddenly hear him ask behind you, “How about on a nearer date?” which makes you turn back around to face him. “How about—tomorrow?”

Shrugging as if nonchalantly, you ask back, “What about it?” 

He hesitates again for a while before taking a small step forward so he’s looking up at you now from the bottom of the stairs. “Do you want to hang out tomorrow, if you’re free that is.” 

You feel your heart flutter ever so slightly at this but you quickly force yourself to ignore it. “That doesn’t sound too fun.” 

“What?” He frowns in genuine disappointment, almost making your teasing gaze soften. 

“I meant where’s the fun in tonight if we meet again soon?” You clarify. “Just wait until your gig next week!” 

He opens his mouth to speak but you’re already walking backwards up the stairs, adding, “And don’t try looking for me in the Fine Arts building, you should know I hide around there well! Goodnight, Chan! Thank you for tonight!” 

With a final smile his way, you finally turn around and walk up the overpass, glancing over to him again when you reach the very top and begin crossing the bridge. As the two of you agreed, he remained by the side of the overpass, watching you carefully even when there’s barely any people on the bridge anymore. 

In under a minute, you’ve reached the halfway mark of the other stairway where you can still see Chan clearly amidst the never-ending flow of cars. You raise a hand above your head, waving to him until he waves back.

Since you’re so far away, you miss the way Chan sighs before sending a dimpled smile your way. He contemplates on asking Seungmin more about you later. 

With that, you then proceed back to your dorms, disappearing from Chan’s sight when you enter your dorm building. He takes that as his cue to head back to his own dorm. 

“Next Saturday’s too far.” He huffs in frustration, sparing one last glance in the direction of your dorm building before passing through the West gate once again. 

Nevertheless, he can’t help but feel excited at the prospect of talking to you again. 

1:00 AM

Chan arrives back in the dorm building, immediately bombarded by Jisung and Changbin who hold his belongings with teasing looks. 

“So you were with Y/N, huh?” Jisung starts, hugging Chan’s laptop to his chest tightly. “Why were you two together?” 

Chan raises an eyebrow, not really knowing where this ‘interrogation’ is going. “I bumped into them at the library when it was full so I offered we share a table at 325.” 

“That’s all?” Changbin asks this time, his arms crossed in front of his chest while Chan’s backpack hangs loosely on his shoulder. 

“Yeah, that’s all,” Chan nods slowly, eyebrows furrowing now. “Why? And why do you have my backpack.”

The two younger boys shake their head at the same time. 

“Oh, nothing.” Jisung dissmises with a small wave. “Just curious.”

As if on cue, Chan’s phone rings its message alert. 

seungmin: SO I HEARD U WENT OUT ON A DATE W Y/N [sent 1:04 AM]

[yumehoxo]

Convinced- eren x reader

(⚠️WARNING⚠️ -this story contains substance use, strong language, sexual content and more)

*Ding*

Connie:

-Yo imma pick you up at around 7:30-ish to be ready.

"Ughh I hope I'm making the right decision" you thought to yourself.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

It's was already 7:12 pm and you haven't even gotten up to change yet, you look at the time one more time and see how late it has gotten and frantically rush to your closet to get something to wear. 'This is such a drag. Why did I even bother to say yes'. You chose a short miniskirt and a cropped shirt and put them on as fast as you can. You ran to the bathroom and fixed your hair and makeup. As your in the middle of doing your make-up Connie calls you. 'Oh no. don't tell me he's here already it's only 7:20' you whined. You pick up the phone call and Connie says.. "Yo I'm in the neighborhood but I'm having trouble finding your complex, mind giving me some directions again?" you sighed, " You have been to my apartment over 20 times now how do you not remember??" You asked. "Look bruh it's really confusing and you already know ian good with directions!" Connie said frustrated. "As soon as you enter the neighborhood you take a right, then two lefts." You said pissed off. "OH YEAHH I REMEM-" you ended the phone call. As you finished off your lipgloss, you grabbed your bag and debated on if you should wear shoes or heels 'I don't even know if I remember how to walk in those' you said looking at your heels, you grabbed your shoes instead. Then you heard it, a rapid knocking at the door, indicating Connie was here. You grabbed your things and did a little jog to the door.

"Woah you smell so good!" Connie said. He was wearing sweatpants and a Dolce & Gabbana long sleeved shirt. You couldn't lie he was a good looking guy and he knew how to dress, and on top of that he's one of the most funniest people you know.

"Thanks Connie" you said sarcastically, rolling your eyes. "Who's hosting this party anyways?" You ask as you lock your door.

"It's this guy named Jean or something like that" Connie says.

Your eyes widen to the name 'well now I know Alessia is going to be there'. "Wow I guess that's just my luck huh?" You say.

"What do you mean that's 'just your luck'?"Connie asks. The expression on his face is pure confusion.

"We used to date in high school, that's all" you state with a relaxed attitude.

Connie presses the elevator button to get back down to the first floor and he asks "Isn't that, kind of a big deal, like what were the odds that you both went to the same out of state University?" Connie asks.

"I dunno I guess it is." you shrug. 'I mean he isn't wrong I haven't seen him since senior year and I'm now a sophomore, that like what almost 2 years?' Your thoughts get interrupted... "Y/n ... Y/n... Y/N??" Connie basically shouts, gaining your attention back to reality.

"W-what do you want, goddamn?" You ask irritated by his loud tone.

"You weren't answering me, I was trying to ask you are you going to drink tonight?" Connie asks.

"Uhh I don't know yet, I'll see how crazy the party is when I get there, and if it's bad then I probably won't drink much" you say as you open his passenger side car door.

"Drink much?? SO YOUR GOING TO DRINK?" Connie asks excitedly.

"Why the fuck are you screaming I'm literally right next to you? But yeah I am." You respond back.

"O-oh sorry I don't realize how loud I get..." he says scratching the back of his head with a nervous expression.

As you guys are driving you don't even realize that it's almost dark outside as the yellow sunset hits your skin in the car. Connie's music was playing way to loud but you would have to get used to it anyway once you get to the party, 'at least his taste in music isn't bad' you think to yourself. As (s/n) plays in the background. You've been to parties before but since it's been so long, your nerves are through the ceiling and the butterfly's in your stomach are giving you mild cramps. 'Just take a deep breath, you've done this before.'

Before you know it, you and Connie are already at the party, it's being hosted in a big house with it's own gate (that was left open). You can see the flashing lights coming through the windows and as you drive closer you can feel the bass of the music. Connie parks his car off to the side so it's easy for him to get out, and you both exit the car.

"We won't be on the first floor, all the secondary people who didn't get invited personally by the owner or the owners friends stay on that floor" Connie says.

"Reiner invited me since we've been friends since Freshman year" he states.

"Oh okay, hopefully it's more calm upstairs.." you say as you guys walk to the front door.

As soon as the the huge double doors open you can see a sea of people partying. All packed together like it was a concert or something. You see couples making out, girls grinding on guys, people throwing up because they can't take what's in their cup any longer, there are girls without any clothing on waist up exposing their breasts to a group of guys. Connie grabs your hand and leads you threw the crowd. He can see the look of concern and disgust on your face.

"Sorry that you have to see this." He says rolling his eyes.

He grips on to your hand a little tighter since the crowd was getting more packed the further down you go. The finally you guys reached it, the stairs. There is a velvet rope indicating that only a certain few are allowed up there. Two men stood there, one of them smoking a cigarette and the other holding a list of names.

"Name?" The man with the list asks coldly. He had dirty blonde hair and tattoos on the sides of his face.

"Connie. Connie Springer." Connie says back equally as coldly.

You can feel the eyes of the other man landing on you, you can feel him looking at your body and then breasts.

"Your good to go." The blonde boy states.

'Finally' you think to yourself in relief. Just the fact that someone was probably just thinking of having sex with you without even knowing you made you feel uncomfortable. You start walking up the stairs and you can still feel his eyes on you, specifically your ass. You were fuming up 'does he have no shame?!' You think angrily to yourself. You've had just about enough you were about to turn around and tell him off.. then Connie walks right up behind you so it's blocks the mans view. You sigh out in relief.

"Sorry about that, some people just have no self control." Connie whispers in your ear so the man doesn't hear anything.

You and Connie make your way up the spiral staircase, you can imminently feel how much more quieter it gets when you get up there. In front of you guys is a hallway with 3 doors on each side and double doors at the end of the hall. You notice the doors have signs on them. "Vacant" or "Empty". Only two of the doors had the sign flipped to "Vacant".

"There for people who want private rooms, like if only a certain group of people wanted to do something together or if you wanted to hookup with someone." Connie says.

"Yeah I figured, that's really smart." You respond back. You can feel the vibrations of the music downstairs at your feet.

"Thank god were not down there" you say in relief.

"Yeah, that place is crazy all the time I don't know how people find that fun." Connie says rolling his eyes.

Connie opens the door for you. To the right there's a T.V hooked onto the wall and a group of 10 people sitting together just talking. To the left is a mini kitchen. You can see that behind the kitchen is a table with food, drinks, and cups there. You noticed the cups were color coded, three colors, neon blue, neon pink, and neon green. In front of each cup was a sign. In front of the neon blue cups was the sign "Taken", I'm front of the of the neon pink cups was "Not looking for any relationship", and in front of the Green cup was "Single". Connie went ahead a grabbed a blue cup and poured himself the fruit punch and alcohol mixture. Connie was currently dating Sasha but she was on a trip with her family for the holidays leaving Connie all alone. You went ahead a grabbed a green cup for yourself and poured (f/d) in it instead. You weren't going to have alcohol until a little later since it was only 8:13 pm.

"Come on let me introduce to everyone I know" Connie says taking your hand leading you to a room in the back.

Connie leads you to the room which contained a Billiardo table to the very right which two men were using and there was a couch at the back that had a group of people sitting there. You could see Jean sitting on the floor in between a black haired girls legs while throwing darts to the wall. His hair was grown out and he looked much more mature. Next to the black haired girl on the couch was a blonde boy with an undercut. On the couch on the other side was a brown haired boy with long hair tied back into a messy bun, he has tattoos on his right arm and some on his left, and he had stud piercings in his ears. He was wearing grey sweatpants with a shortsleeved shirt with the word "Primitive" on the front. They shirt wrapped perfectly around his sculpted biceps. You looked away to make sure nobody notices that your staring. Next to him is a blonde girl she was somewhat tall and had facial bangs. There are two girls on the floor, another blonde girl but she was short and more petite and another girl next to her with brown hair and freckles flirting with her making the blonde one blush. You realize Jean and the black haired girl cups are blue. You also see that The blonde boy and the girl next to the brown haired boy guys are also blue. Everyone else's cups were green. 'A lot of taken people' you think to yourself.

"WOAH NO WAY" you can hear Jean scream locking eye contact with you "IS THAT REALLY YOU Y/N?" He says while getting up. You can tell the black haired girl is staring him down.

"Y-yeah. It's been so long!" You say while side hugging him. You can smell the faint scent of marijuana on him. The black haired girls eyes reach you staring you down, looking at your breasts and body figure. You turn your head to the back of the room Where a tall brown haired boy and blonde hair boy make their way to you.

"Yo Reiner!" Connie says while dapping him up.

"Yo Connie!" He says back. His eyes land land on you, locking eye contact.

"Connie who'd you bring with you?" He said with a smirk on his face looking at Connie and then right back at you.

"Oh this is y/n, she's normally a homebody but she finally agreed to come with me to one party" Connie said while rolling his eyes.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Reiner." He said while sticking his hand out indicating to shake hands with him. You shake his hand, and he holds on a little longer instead. You manage to let go without being awkward or rude a flash a smile at him. 'What the fuck.' You think to yourself . You can see the brown haired boy next to him seems nervous and a little shaky. He look at him and smile and he gives you a nervous smile back.

"H-hi my n-name is Bertolt" he says clearly shaken up. Connie slaps his hand onto Betolt's shoulder and says..

"No need to be shy Bertolt just be yourself! Nobody is going to like you if your going to act so shy." Connie said with a cheeky smile on his face.

"Hey, I'm Y/n" you say with a smile on your face, making him blush even harder.

"Anywaysssss enough of that" Connie says while taking you to the group of people at the sofas.

"Everyone, this is Y/n L/n" Connie says 'I can introduce myself dickhead' you think to yourself.

"I'm Armin, nice to meet you!" The Blonde boy says sweetly. 'He's like a cute cinnamon bun' you think to yourself. You smile sweetly back at him.

"I'm Annie. I've actually seen you around we have a class together." She says with almost little to no expression on her face but you can tell that's the way she is. "Actually i remember you; you sat next to me in that chem lecture one time!" You say back.

" I'm Mikasa." She stated coldly. 'Damn mad at me already? I barely fucking did anything.' You think to yourself but not daring to say it out loud. You force yourself to smile  'I hate these type of things everything seems so forced' you think. "Nice to meet you" you say while giving her a fake smile.

"H-h-hi I'm H- histori-a" the blonde girl said barely managing to get any air as the brown hair girl is choking her from behind. "And I'm Ymir" she says with a huge grin across her face. You start laughing at their greeting. "Y'all seem close " You say as you sit yourself next to them Connie following behind you, finding a seat facing it backwards, and then sitting in it so his chest could be resting in the back side.

"I'm Eren, Eren Yeager." The brown haired boy said in a relaxed tone but you noticed his eyes went to the top of you, to your feet, and back up. 'Goddamn who gave him the right to be so hot' you thought to yourself. "Nice to meet you, Eren." you say in a relaxed tone making sure you hide your nervousness.

As the night went on, Reiner and Bertolt came to join you guys. After many attempts of Reiner trying to flirt with you he gave up as he got a drunk. They talked about all the drama that's been going around, who's dating who, who got arrested, who got so fucked up "that one time". They more they talked the more they drank. After awhile you saw it was 11:15 pm and you finished what was in your cup. You left the room and made your way to the kitchen to see if they had any good alcohol drinks, you open the fridge and grab and vodka bottle and pour yourself a shot. You jump up and sit on the counter and took a look around, everyone who was once watching infront of the T.V were either asleep or on the balcony outside. 'Ahhh some peace and quiet' you think to yourself then you remember that Alessia told you she hooked up with a guy named Jean 'wait a second something doesn't add up how could have she hook up with Jean if Jean has a girl friend?'  You go on your phone to see if she put anything on her story and she did.. she was a black haired boy who was tagged with the name "Jean". 'ohhh okay so it wasn't the Jean I knew' you thought to yourself relieved. You grabbed your bag to get the blunt that you rolled before you came... as your looking you realize you can't find it, you frantically search through your bag"what- where is it I swear I brought it?!" you say frustrated.

"Brought what?" A familiar voice asked, you froze for a slight second startled by it. You turned to to see who said that, it was Eren. He was even taller then he looked when he was sitting down.

"O-oh my god you scared me" you responded back sounding startled.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean too, I thought you heard me open the door." Eren said. 'Wait is that piercing on his-' you realize your staring too long.

"It's fine don't worry about it, but I brought a blunt with me before I came but I can't find it now." You say back.

"Damn maybe you dropped it somewhere." He responded not breaking eye contact with you as he comes into the kitchen.

"Y-yeah maybe.." you say back. 'Why's he coming over here?' . He walks over to the fridge and grabs a drink, leans his back against the fridge (which is right in front of you). After 15 seconds of silence he strikes up a conversation

"If you want I have a blunt? But we have to share." Eren says.

"Wait are you sure?" You ask him feeling guilty.

"Yeah it's no big deal" he says while smiling at you.

You were right he does have a tongue piercing.

"Thank you so much" you say back.

As you guys share the blunt you both start talking about your school schedule, turns out that you have the same lunch break and most of your classes are the same just with different teachers. By the time the blunt is finished both of your eyes are bloodshot. You look at his arm he has a tattoo of a dragon, 'that's the same one I have' you think to yourself in utter shock 'how did I not notice?'. Just to make sure you ask him..

"Do you mind if I see your tattoo really quick? You ask him.

He walks closer to you and lifts up his sleeve exposing the whole tattoo and arm. 'Wow he's so built' you think to yourself. You take a good look at his tattoo it confirms your theory, it's the same tattoo that you have. You got it the second you turned 18, it symbolizes 'strength' a lot of people have it but it's still quite rare to see someone else have it.

"Wow I was right!" You say excitedly.

"Right about what?" Eren asks confused. You lift up you one side of your crop top exposing the right side of your rib cage, showing him your tattoo. He puts down his drink next to you and asks..

"May I take a closer look? Only if you don't mind though." Your face turns a little red the thought of him being that close to you kind of scared you.

"Y-yeah s-sure." You say nervously. He brings his face closer and looks up at you realizing how red you are. He smirks. He traces over your tattoo with his thumb. Just his touch makes you shiver a little 'goddamn why do I have to be so nervous he's not even doing anything!'  You feel your face getting hotter as he traced it. Then you feel it, he places his whole hand on your waist and pulls you closer.

"W-what are you doing? You ask him super embarrassed as your face flushes an even darker shade of red. He gets up close to your ear and whispers.. "What? Are you just going to act like you haven't been thinking about this all night? I've seen the way you've been looking at me." Eren said with a smirk on his face. Just the way his breath feels on your ear made you shiver. You slightly spread your legs a little open so he can fit right in front of you. He grabs onto both of your thighs and pulls them more towards him making your entire body come closer to his. You can feel your skirt slight hiking up the more you legs spread apart. He looks you up and down before leaning in and gently kissing you once, his lips felt soft against yours, you can smell the scent of mint and weed mixed together, you can feel him smile against your lips. He clearly knows how much  your enjoying this. He kisses you again this time more passionately, you feel his hand move to your lover back pulling you even more closer, you wrap your hands around his neck and give in. He bites softly on your bottom lip making you moan slightly, he takes this chance to force his tongue inside, asserting his dominance. You fight to not let him win,you try your best, but you lose. He slowly stops, and kisses your lips tenderly one more time. Then he places his lips on your neck playfully nibbling at your neck, he finds your sensitive spot, causing you to stifle a moan, you can feel his smile against your skin. The coldness of his piercing against your skin makes you want more. He continues sucking,kissing, and licking your neck for a little longer and then he stops. He gets up close to your ear and says...

"Why don't we take this a private room? I would hate if anyone interrupted us." he said with his eyes full of lust.

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

                                                                                                          Authors note:

This took me awhile to write I have a headache now lmao

Anyways if y'all could please lmk if I should change anything or if there any errors I would appreciate it 😌💞✨

[eideticmemory]

EVER SINCE NEW YORK VI | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER

Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.

PART 6! Read Part 5 here!

SOUNDTRACK:

Miss you - The Rolling Stones.

Like Real People Do - Hozier.

Sweet Creature - Harry Styles.

Word Count: 4,619.

Rating: M.

Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, drinking, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.

Summer, Before Senior Year.

Quarantine.

“You awake?”

“Yeah.”

“You were asleep, I’m sorry.”

“Matthew, it’s okay, really.”

“What time is it there?”

You pulled your phone away from your ear to glance at the screen, “Three in the morning.”

“Damn, [y/n], I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay,” you whispered. “What’s up?”

“Can we facetime?”

“I look a mess.”

“I’m sure you don’t,” he replied. “Please?”

You sighed, “Okay. Okay, call me.”

He did, and when you answered, you had the camera focused on your face, your lamp light on. 

“Oh, God, Matthew!” You shouted. “I thought you were going to show your face, you pervert!”

“My face isn’t hard right now.” 

“Nasty!” 

“I thought you liked it?”

“You’re a disgusting little boy.”

“[y/n], please. I’m so horny right now, and I’ve been jerking off forever, but I can’t get off. Help? Please?” 

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at him. “Dirty boy. Filthy boy.” 

“If this is your method of dirty talk, it isn’t working for me.”

You let out a dry laugh. His cock was front and center on your phone screen, his hand wrapped around it, jerking it slowly. “Tell me how to help, Matthew.”

“Show me those tits, pretty lady.”

You cackled, “Nasty!”

But you still pulled your shirt up, revealing your breasts, which were sitting pretty without the restraint of a bra. Matthew flipped the camera to his face at lightning speed, holding his screen close to his face. “When the fuck did you get your nipples pierced?” His voice was strained, high pitched, laced with shock and surprise. 

“Oh,” you said. “The week I got home. Before the tattoo shops closed.”

“Do you like them?” You asked.

“Matthew?” You called. 

But he was silent. Actually, he wasn’t silent, he was grunting. He was grunting, and jerking himself off, his wrist going numb from the speed and intensity that he was using. You froze the moment you realized what was happening, your camera perfectly angled at your chest. You watched Matthew’s face scrunch up, the way it always does when he’s nearing his orgasm, and your breath caught in your throat. He was so hot, geez. He stared at his phone, trembling, weak, panting quietly. He sucked in a sharp breath, and as he exhaled, the breath came out shaky and loud — louder than he intended — and he released himself all over his hand. 

“You good?” You whispered. 

“Ah, fuck,” he mumbled. His breathing was hard, raspy. He had to clear his throat before he spoke. “Why didn’t you tell me about the nipple piercings?” 

You giggled, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he chuckled, wiping himself off before he fixed his pants. “Did they hurt?”

“Not really,” you shrugged. “It was quick, the piercer was nice.”

“Good, good,” he nodded. “Can I see them again?” 

You sighed with a bit of laughter mixed in, and you did as you were asked. The two of you stayed up for another five hours, talking, laughing, helping each other come. By the time eight in the morning rolled around, you were completely shirtless, and Matthew was close to falling asleep. But he didn’t want to. He kept on bringing up different topics, pulling you into all sorts of conversations, just so you would stay on the phone. 

“Matthew,” you whispered. “Go to bed.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“If you go to sleep right now, you will wake up to titty pictures.”

He paused, “Throw in some ass pics, too?”

“You got it,” you nodded.

“Okay, goodnight, [y/n].”

“Goodnight, Matthew.”

And so began a very long, very horny, dirty, nasty quarantine. 

When you first arrived home, it was a constant waiting game to see who would call who first. When Matthew woke up without you that day, he held his phone in his chest for a long time, waiting for it to ring, to buzz, anything. But it never did. Because you were doing the same thing — watching, waiting, hoping. Matthew eventually got too swept up in his own move to reach out, so you sat at home for days without so much as a word. Until sunday night, when he finally called — horny and desperate.

You had to continue your online classes that Monday, after the long night of facetime sex, and he was all you could think about. All you could think about. There was radio silence for the first few hours of the day. You blindly rolled through your classes, glancing at your phone every few minutes. You finally gave in by the time you were in your last class, picked up your cell phone, and pulled up Matthew’s text messages. You didn’t know what to say, what to type, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. And just as you went to press a letter, a message came through. 

M: i had a dream about you

You bit your lip to contain a smile. 

Y: rly? what happened in this dream?

M: call me and i’ll tell you

You glanced at your laptop, your professor still rambling on and on. It was definitely unlike you to choose a boy over class. But, class was just about over. And Matthew wasn’t just a boy.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” you said into your phone, smiling at Matthew’s voice.

“What are you doing?”

“Just finished class. What are you doing?” 

“I’m in class right now, actually,” he told you. “Animation.”

“Hot,” you giggled at the noise of his lecture in the background.

“Thanks. My dream was hotter, though.” 

“Oh? Was it?” You grinned, laying back in bed. 

“Yeah. You were a sexy nurse.”

“Matthew!” You exclaimed, erupting in a fit of laughter. 

“Okay, you weren’t a nurse. But you were there, and I was there—“

“We were both there.”

“Yes. And we were in my room, on my bed, and you were sitting on my face.”

You squeezed your thighs together, “Oh.”

“Yeah, it took some convincing, but you did it. And you were so scared to suffocate me, it was cute.”

“Cute, huh?”

“Sexy. I can visualize your body so well,” he whispered. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

“Matthew,” a voice called. 

Your eyes went wide, you went silent. “Oh, shit!” Matthew exclaimed, noticing that his microphone had been on the whole time. He quickly left the online class, and sighed heavily. 

You could hardly breathe, you were laughing so hard. You cackled, you hooted, you howled. And Matthew couldn’t help but join you. “Fuck!” He chuckled. “I’m a dumbass.”

“Well, I’ve always known that.” You replied. 

“Facetime me, princess,” he requested. 

You did, and he continued to tell you about his dream. How he laid under you, could taste you on his tongue, feel your skin on his hands. It made you incredibly horny, and when you thought he wasn’t listening, you started to touch yourself. Your breath got shaky, and you attempted to keep it quiet — with no success.

“You touching yourself, princess?” Matthew asked.

“No,” you whispered, but it came out rushed.

“Oh, you are. I know that voice.” 

“And I...like your voice.”

“You do? Hm...you like to hear me tell you how hot you are? How much I want to be sucking on those perfect tits right now? Bury my cock inside you and fuck you until you can’t walk?”

“Fuck, Matthew,” you huffed. You’d never heard him talk quite like this before. It was steamy and overwhelming and so, so nice. 

“Tell me what you’re doing right now.”

“Just, uh, um, touching my clit.”

“Good, princess. Now, slide your fingers in for me.”

You sucked in a sharp breath, and did as you were told, your fingers gliding into you. “O-okay,” you murmured.

“Does it feel good? Does it feel better than me?” Matthew purred.

“Nothing feels better than you,” you said, before you could catch yourself. 

He grinned to himself, “Show me. Let me watch.” 

You flipped the camera around to present yourself to him, your legs spread open, your fingers pumping in and out of your core. “Fuck...” he said under his breath, his hand slipping into his underwear. “I’ve never been this jealous of someone’s fingers.”

You chuckled, followed by a weak moan. “Don’t be shy. Show me something, too.”

He let you watch him stroke his hard cock in his palm. Your hands were somehow moving in unison with each other’s. Matthew could tell you were getting close, from the noises you were making and the way your body trembled. His own orgasm pent up in his stomach, but he continued to edge himself until you came. But when you did finished, panting his name and letting out soft moans, he allowed himself to let go. His come shot all over his stomach, and you admired the way it coated his skin.

“Look what you did,” he murmured. 

You laid there, tired and blissed out beyond belief. “Don’t you dare think that we’re doing this all of quarantine, Matthew Gubler.” 

“We’ll see.”

The idea of spending five months away from Matthew was grueling to say the least. You’d gotten so used to him being right down the hall that you constantly had to remind yourself that he was all the way across the country. But, when you guys really got into the groove of things, the distance didn’t seem so bad. 

He always texted you goodmorning and goodnight. The two of you managed to obtain a 30 day streak on snapchat. He helped you with homework and you helped him with his. You texted each other tiktoks and funny tweets that reminded you of one another. You stayed up until all hours of the night, chatting and laughing and talking dirty to one another. You were on facetime with each other so often that your family began to ask who he was. “A friend,” you said. It wasn’t that believable, though. 

Things were great, despite you missing him like crazy. And then he sent you a text. It had a few attachments, and a message saying: forgot to send you these 😘. 

Intrigued, you opened the message to find a row of videos. Of you. Of Matthew. You two together. The first one you clicked was of him eating you out, and you swear, you flooded your bed. It was easy to forget, to lock away memories of him to keep yourself sane. But these videos — of you two fucking, him sucking on your boobs, you sucking on his fingers, sucking his dick — they were too much to bare. 

You hand slid into your underwear, your eyes trained on your phone as you watched Matthew fuck you. Headphones in, you listened to the sound of skin on skin, him whispering dirty things to you through his moans. You bit down on your lip, touching yourself, teasing yourself, too turned on to think properly. And so eager to get off that you forgot to lock the door.

“[y/n]?” A family member called, bursting into your room.

“Shit!” You exclaimed. You quickly hid yourself under the cover and paused the video. Your heart was beating out of your chest, and you promised not to make that mistake again. 

Matthew, however, didn’t get the memo.

“Nipple piercings, ma’am?” He pouted, looking at you over facetime one day. “Whip ‘em out.”

“Whip ‘em out? Is that how you ask?” You giggled.

He sighed, “Can I see your tits? Please? I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything,” he nodded.

“Moo like a cow,” you said.

He was silent for a second. “You considering it?” You asked.

“I am, yeah,” he nodded. 

You cackled, and pulled your shirt up, revealing your bare chest. Just as both of your breasts graced the screen, Matthew’s mom stepped into his room to ask him a question. 

“Oh, dear!” She remarked, catching a quick flash of your chest. 

“Oh, no!” You shouted. You ducked out of the camera’s vision, and Matthew dropped his phone. 

“Hi, [y/n],” Mrs. Gubler said.

“Hi, Mrs. Gubler!” You pipped, your face beet red. 

When she left the room, Matthew and you erupted in nervous laughter. “I’m so, so sorry,” he told you. 

“It’s okay! Is she mad?” 

“No. She’s never gonna let me live this down, though. Anyways, show me those tits again.”

“Are you serious?” You pipped.

He gave you the eyes. His trademark ‘i’m horny and i would die for you, queen, please show me some titty’ eyes. 

You sighed, “Nasty boy.”

By the time you two were halfway through quarantine, Matthew and you had each other’s routines memorized. Well enough, that he knew what time you showered every night. He called you just as you stepped out of the shower, and when you answered, he was happy to see you naked and wrapped in a towel. 

“Well, well, well,” he smirked. “This is my lucky day.” 

“Shut up,” you laughed, setting your phone down on the counter, upright so he could see you. You dropped your towel to reveal your naked body, and he nearly drooled at the sight. “Don’t be a perv.”

“I am a perv.”

You rolled your eyes at him and grabbed your clothes, sliding your hoodie over your body. 

“Wait,” he said. “Wait, wait, wait. Is that my hoodie?” 

You froze, standing there in an NYU hoodie that came down to your knees. “[y/n]? Princess? Did you steal my hoodie?” He asked.

“Borrowed!” You exclaimed, your voice squeaking. “I borrowed it.”

“I’ve been looking for that hoodie. When did you take it?”

“Borrow!”

“Okay, when did you borrow it?” 

“That night...” You trailed off. “Before I left. I saw it laying there and it was a little chilly so I—“

“Stole it.”

“Borrowed!”

He giggled, “It looks good on you. Really good.” 

“Yeah?” You grinned, twirling around in the hoodie, your legs exposed. 

“Oh, yeah,” he nodded. “Does it smell like me?” 

You nodded, “Yeah, it does.” That’s part of the reason you loved it so much. 

“Stay—stay just like that for me,” he pleaded. “Just like that.”

You held yourself still, posing your entire body in front of the camera for him to take you in. His hand had snaked down into his pants and grasped his cock, now delivering slow strokes along his shaft. 

“Like what you see?” You purred. 

Love what I see, he thought. But he only said, “Yeah.”

His wrist sped up, along with his breathing. “Fuck,” he panted. His eyes lowered into this sensual look, his teeth were gritted together. You gave him a sly smile, and turned around, lifting up the hoodie to show him your ass. 

“Oh, fuck!” He shouted. Suddenly, he hung up. While you stood there, confused, he laid in his bed and withdrew his hands from his pants. He closed his eyes tight, attempting to calm himself. Soothe the feeling in his chest. But it wouldn’t go away. He missed you. He missed you so much, it was heart stopping, soul shattering, and it even got rid of his boner. He could conceal it for a long, long time. But that hoodie...

That damn hoodie. 

Embarrassed from your last phone conversation, he almost didn’t answer when you called him that night. But he couldn't stop himself. When he answered the facetime request, he saw you — stressed, your face red and sad. “What’s wrong?” He cooed.

“It’s almost midnight and I have an assignment due and I have no idea how to do it and it’s worth a lot of points and I’m gonna have a heart attack.” You rambled. 

“Okay, okay,” he sat up. “[y/n], babe, calm down. What class is it for?”

“Advanced film. It’s a quiz, I just—“

“Send it to me.”

“Matthew—“

“Send it. I’ll do it.”

“You don’t have to,” you sighed. 

“But I want to. I don’t want you stressed. Just send it, I’ll get it done before midnight. I promise.”

You smiled at him, blinking away the stress-induced tears in your eyes. “Thank you, Matthew. Thank you so much. If you ever need help with anything, let me know, I’ll help. If you decide to take ballet next semester, I can really help.”

He laughed, and the two of you held each other’s gaze for a long time. It was full of softness, joy, bonding. A little love. 

“Anyways, uh,” Matthew said, clearing his throat. “Can I see your ass again?” 

You shook your head at him, laughing under your breath. 

Quarantine couldn’t be over soon enough. 

[PART 7.]

[moonlight26posts-blog]

In Baltimore City, MD: 10 y/o senior sweetheart who loves human attention, found as a stray all alone - BARCS, Baltimore MD

Thunder- 10 years, altered male, 8.4lbs

FELV-/FIV-

Introducing the ever-so-handsome, Thunder! He is both wise and wonderful, and can be described as a super sweet boy with a heart of gold, always ready to purr contentedly when you give him pets. He's a social eater, meaning mealtime is his favorite time to bond with his human companions. Thunder also has a soft spot for treats – watch his eyes light up with delight at the promise of a tasty snack!

Upon examination, our vets noted that Thunder has grade 2-3/4 periodontal disease, mildly sunken in globes, a heart murmur, decreased muscle mass in the hind limbs with a hunched posture, and was emaciated and dehydrated. X-rays of the hind limbs showed mild arthritic changes in the stifles and hind limbs, so fatty acids and joint supplements are recommended ongoing. A full medical summary can be provided upon request.

No senior should spend their days in the shelter, and sweet Thunder is of course no exception. After being picked up as a stray, we have no idea how long he was on the streets, on his own, but based on his condition and weight, we assume it might've been a good while since he'd had proper care. And after everything, he deserves the very best.

Thunder is available immediately for rescue pick-up.

Please let us know if your organization can help!

Thank you,

The BARCS Rescue Team

Baltimore Animal Rescue & Care Shelter (BARCS) New Address! 2490 Giles Rd, Baltimore, MD 21225 rescue@barcs.org| (410) 396-4695

Rescue pick-up hours: Monday-Friday: 10:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday: 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m

Adoption hours: Monday-Friday: 2 p.m.-6 p.m. Saturday and Sunday: 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Baltimore Animal Rescue and Care Shelter, Inc. (BARCS) | 2490 Giles Rd, Baltimore, MD 21225

[whywasdumbbitchjuicealreadytaken]

The Ballad Of [Y/N] Berry

(Bad guy sanses x female!reader)

Ooooohhh~

Down on your knees before the queen~

You walk down the halls, clinging onto your boyfriend's- G sans's- arm as your "friends" followed not to far from you

Ooooohhh~

Down on your knees before the queen~

The bad guys had gone to [Universe] to check out a shape-able glitch. Since she hadn't been in any other universes, all she needed was a little shove to set her on the right path...

"[Y/N] Berry was a popular bitch. Hot bod, hot boy, cheer captain, plus she was rich~" Nightmare was reading what he knew about the glitch off to the bad sanses

That girl had everything, till hiccup and hitched; Julie Jenkins lost a leg in a crash (Am-pu-ta-ted)

Horror, raspberry, and dust were the first to observe you. Killer was supposed to be here but he was was still healing up after the initial crash that he had caused. Raspberry's eyes examined your body, he elbowed dust and pointed you out to him. He didn't bother with horror, seeing as he was already staring..

The nominations for prom royalty came,

You smirked to yourself, you knew you were going to win just like every other year

Our [Y/N]'s senior year, and queen was her claim...

You felt someone tap your shoulders. You spun around to see, it was fell and cross from your biology class. "don't worry sweetheart we'll vote for ya." Fell wink, cross energetically nadded as an agreement and the two walked away. "Uh.. thanks i guess?" You muttered.

Till gossip stirred, the student body would name Julie Jenkins, queen of prom. (Pi-ty-Vote)

You blinked in shock as you saw the votes and what people were saying. An arm around your waist pulled you into a taller figure

"[Y/N]," G sans said "Life is like a prom, i know you wont disappoint me and mom..?".

With that, he walked away. Your mother died in an accident when you were 6 and whenever you fail, you always felt as if you were disappointing her..

"You taste the silver [Y/N]? You taste the crown?" Your desk neighbor, Bill, asked you. You simply ignored him. You heard someone tap you desk and you look up to see Alisans(alistor sans..?)

"You thirst for blood from the roses in hand." He told you. You stood up. "May i be excused??". The teacher nodded and you left the class.

You spoil for stash and scepter, music to dance, as they crown you queen of highschool land~

CHECK [Y/N]

CHOOSE [Y/N]

VOTE, FOR [Y/N] BERRY

Your eyes widened to see red X's on your vote for [Y/N] posters

CHECK [Y/N]

CHOOSE [Y/N]

VOTE FOR [Y/N] BERRY

You reported it to the principal then went about your day. Everything was normal until..

So obsessed our [Y/N] near lost her mind. To life Un-prom related, [Y/N] was blind.

Prom was getting to you. The pressure you were getting from G sans, your friends, and the constant feeling of someone watching you was driving you insane. Was worse, is it seems G was paying more attention to Julie then you..

She shoved her squad, her clique and boyfriend behind, Still one-leg Julie held to the lead. (Poor, poor Julie)

You sighed and ran your hand through your hair.

Soon [Y/N]'s sanity was hung by a thread, Her B.F.F.'s proclaimed her socially dead.

Your eyes narrowed 'fine. I don't need them!' You huffed and sat in your seat next to cross in chemistry. Atleast you still had G. You saw your boyfriend looking at you. You smile at G, but it quickly faltered when he turned away and began talking to Julie. You felt your phone buzz

Till then, at last, her boyfriend texted and said: "I'm taking Julie to the senior Prom." (Love, love Julie)

Your heart dropped and you decided to confront him after class. "G," you said calmly "what the hell? Why are you taking julie??".

"[Y/N]" G said "why be so calm, theres just no future for a Princess of prom."

You sat at home, on the evening of prom, shakily putting on your eyeliner and black lipstick/ lip gloss. You tried to hold your smiled but you couldn't keep a smiled and hold back tears at the same time..

You taste the Silver [Y/N]! You taste the crown.

You watch as your tears, accompanied by long black tears slowly fell down your face

You thirst for blood from the roses in handYou spoil for sash and scepter, music to dance, As they crown you Queen of High School Land.

You're smile faltered and you realize what must be done in order to be queen. You put on your blue flowy dress, it was off shoulder and had a slit in the left side.

Ooooh~

You walked downstairs and opened the front door to see Alisans, he handed you a hammer and kissed your hand then caressed your cheek. He handed you a rose and took you to G'S house.

Down on your knees before the queen~

You arrived at G's house found him walking towards his car, her ran up behind him and smashed a hole in the back if his skull.

Ooooooh~

You mercilessly stomped his head in and watched him turn to dust. But you weren't done.

Get on your knees before the queen~

You walked in front of the school and felt a hand grab your own. You looked up to see Bill, he winked and you smiled. He handed you a white rose and led you inside.

"$0m£ g!r|$ @r€ r@t!0^@| bUt [Y/N] ₩@$ ^0t"[translation: some gurks are rational, but [Y/N] was not]

Error told Nightmare with a smirk as the two watched. You had gone inside the bathroom.

She stared in mirrors thinking one single thought: There's seven reasons this crown's not good as got. And so the night of Prom, mercy! Thus went her plot;

Bill had gave you rat poisoning, you dumped it in one of your "friend's" punch, her blood had gotten on your rose.

"P" is for Patricia, drinking poisoned punch

Fell had came up next to you and snaked an arm around your waist. He took you outside and gave you a rock, while you were scanning the area you spotted Raquel.

"R" is for Raquel, dashed on a rock (crunch)

Fell handed you a blood cover rose. Cross grabbed your hand and brought you out back. Anne was busy getting high. You picked up a nearby brick and bashed her brains in.

"O" is what Anne said when Sara bludgeoned her brains

Cross kissed your cheek and handed you a blood rose like fell did. You went back inside where horror greeted you. You both went to a classroom, where you found Marianna. Horror showed you how to chop her up just right

And "M" is Marianna's marinated remains.

Horror pulled you into himself. He wrapped one arm around your waist and the other rested on your lower back. He swayed side to side in a sort of dancing motion. You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder with your hands on his chest.

But!But!

Dust cleared his throat. Horror scoffed and stopped swaying, he handed you a blood covered rose and winked at you. You went over to dust and held his arm. He led you to the school pool you spotted another friend and you made you work quick.

"Q" is for Quiara, quiet, drowned in the pool.

Dust gave you a bloody rose and took you to the kitched. In there, you helped raspberry chop up the body of Eunice.

"U" is for Eunice's pieces spread round the school

Raspberry gave you a rose and you left to find Julie..

But "E's" are for the easy way in five minutes tops. A one-legg'd girl can bring an "N" for end by calling the cops.(what a bitch)

You got your silver [Y/N], you got your crown

Nightmare placed a crown on your head

You got their blood on your roses in hand

Error gave you the roses using his strings

You donned the sash and scepter, doing a dance,

The bad sanses all took turns dancing with you on stage

As you crowned you Queen of High School Land!

You watched them leave with a smile on your face, this is all you've ever wanted. This is all you could of ever hoped.

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Oh, Oh!

God save the Queen...

Down on your knees before the Queen.

God save the Queen.

After about 30 minutes, you see flashing blue and red lights outside. You walk out, ready to accept your fate.

Woah-oh-oh-oh, Oh, Oh!

The Queen of High School Land.

Down on your knees before the Queen.

The Queen of High School Land.

They wrapped your wrists in silver, they took your crown

Your eyes widened as you watched them put the crown into an evidence bag "WAIT NO! STOP!" You cried as your dreams began to be taken away from you.

As they washed your bloody fingers and hands.

You weren't ready to go, you bit and scratched to the people who tried to wash you. They ended sedating you.

Into a tight straitjacket, small padded cell, As you screamed, 

"I'm the queen of highschool land!!" You screeched and ran into the door repeatedly. The doctors came back in and sedated you again. The next thing you knew, you were in the arms of nightmare

At least in your head, you're Queen of High School Land.....

It had been several years, but you found julie. The boys[and Sunny] have been very affectionate and protective of you, Even error! Yeah I'll let that soak in.

Pity the dead! You're Queen of High School Land.

You began walking through the halls every sans you'd pass would sinister-ly grin.

CHECK [Y/N]

CHOOSE [Y/N]

VOTE FOR [Y/N] BERRY

Everyone gathered in the throne room as you approached it, you were dragging a crying,screaming,pleading, and begging Julie behind you by her hair.

CHECK [Y/N]

CHOOSE [Y/N]

VOTE FOR [Y/N] BERRY

You walked in and error shut the doors. A series of screams,applause,and laughter were heard from the throne room not long after.

[bubbashawn]

No Nothing

author: Lol I don’t know where this came from and also cheers to three days in a row of writing. Don’t expect this to become a thing anyways hope you like it. Am I just doing every trope ever? Yep and what about it 💓

synopsis: Shawn has always taunted you because you’re his best friend’s sister, but even Brian can tell it’s tearing you both apart.

warnings: Baby swears and all that but mostly just 2.5k of two people being stupid 😂

Carrots. You hated carrots, they were your favorite growing up and Shawn Mendes, the boy living down the street, ruined them for you.

“Hi carrots,” he would smirk down at you, “how’s it going?”

“Would you stop calling me that?”

“Mmmm no, no can do, sorry carrots”

Brian had called you that when you were a baby and that was fine, but his imbecile best friend Shawn? No way. Your brother had met the Canadian boy in school and honestly it was shocking you didn’t know him already. Pickering wasn’t exactly a big city so most people knew each other, but Shawn and you didn’t meet until Brian and him were besties.

At first you didn’t mind Shawn, he was nice enough and got your brother to leave you alone. But once that nickname set in you were officially not okay with each other. And it wasn’t like you could just ignore him because he’d show up everywhere. At hockey practice Shawn would constantly be shooting pucks your way, shouting that fateful nickname.

“On your right, carrots!”

You despised him. Until you didn’t. Maybe it was the day when he jumped into the car when the Craigen family drove Shawn home from the rink, his cheeks flushed pink and a bright white smile on his face.

“Hi carrots”

You didn’t respond that day with a snarky comment, caught up in his honey colored eyes. He had noticed you were sure but he was lost in conversation with Brian long before he could comment on your dazed state. Or maybe it was the day during freshman year when your sophomore boyfriend dumped you for the senior (who ended up leaving for college 4 months later), Shawn had approached you like you were glass and his step might shake the ground so much you’d crack. He hugged you that day, no teasing or prodding, just holding you together.

“Hi carrots,” his hand ran along your spine, “you okay?”

You just hid your teary eyed frown in his shoulder. The two of you stood there until Brian pulled you both to the couch in the basement and started playing a Harry Potter marathon. Your brother didn’t normally let you in on ‘bro time’ but he knew Shawn wouldn’t leave your side, though the boy would never admit it.

After that day the two of you came to an agreement, settling on harmless taunts and yet Shawn wouldn’t give up the nickname.

“You’re still my carrots, always will be.”

Everything was decent and the two of you were comfortable in the new mutual friendship you’d built. Shawn had told you a month later he’d be leaving for tour. You were 13 and he was 15. Before he left the Mendes and Craigen Clans got together for a farewell dinner, everyone was shocked by the lack of bickering between you two, even more so when he ate your carrots and you ate his tomatoes. The alliance was working.

Shawn came and went through Pickering, just like your boyfriends, except they actually remembered you. Shawn hadn’t even tried to see you when he was home, not that you cared of course, but you did miss his laugh. And his smile and him and maybe even that terrible name.

-

You wouldn’t see the famous boy until your graduation, 5 years after his goodbye dinner. Maybe it was because he rarely was home or maybe it’s because he didn’t visit the Craigen home and more than likely it was because you would leave when Brian mentioned Shawn making an appearance. You don’t know why you did it, you just did.

Graduating was all you looked forward to in all honesty. You had your friends and you had hockey but you didn’t care for that anymore because you wanted to get out of Pickering. Nothing was going to stop you now that you’d be attending university in Australia, that had always been the plan and now you were about to make it happen.

You didn’t even notice the tall boy until you stood from your arranged seat to collect your diploma but his shout was louder than anyone else’s.

“Go carrots!” He smiled right at you.

Shawn was looking at you for the first time in half a decade and he was a new person. He had grown substantially and his dorky figure had filled out. Honestly you gave yourself props for crushing on him before he got hot. But damn you weren’t complaining. You wanted to stare at him and ask all your unanswered questions with your eyes locked with his, but your ticket out of Canada was far more important than your childish crush. So you stepped forward walking along the grass up to the podium and shook hands with the staff of your school before walking back to your seat.

“Carrots!” His stride was fast to keep up with you as you ran towards your friends, “you went and grew up on me.”

“Says you, rockstar,” a new found confident tilt in your voice, “you cannot be the same imbecile from my childhood.”

He smiled brightly, ‘rockstar’, his new nickname. He loved that you gave him a nickname. He felt so comfortable talking to you and he missed the banter you two had always shared. Shawn missed you.

“Rockstar? Huh, I like it,” he pulled you into his chest, like he did all those years ago, “I’ve missed you.”

“Don’t go all soft on me now, I’m already dealing with Brian.” You laughed.

“Hey! I’m being serious here, really I did miss you, carrots.”

“I missed you too.”

It all felt serene, just smiling at one another. That is until your aforementioned brother tugged harshly as his arm wrapped around your waist.

“My baby sister is all grown up!”

“Brian!”

“If you think you can steal her away to catch up, think again Mendes!” He shouted at his best friend.

He just watched them happily, his own hand placed on Aaliyah’s shoulder.

“This dork’s time is reserved for me and only me until 6:30 tomorrow morning.”

You just laughed again, trying to pry his sturdy hands away from you when he started tickling you. But Shawn was confused, no longer laughing with the siblings.

“Why 6:30?”

Brian tensed against you. He knew of Shawn’s crush on his baby sister and though he wasn’t happy at first, he knew Shawn wouldn’t hurt her and that was what he really cared about. That and you wouldn’t have anymore shitty boyfriends who’d never treat you right.

“I didn’t tell you?” Shawn’s face fell at Brian’s tone, “she leaves for Australia tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” He choked on his words, “w-why so fast?”

“I want to grow accustomed to the new lifestyle and country itself before starting the spring semester.”

“O-oh” Shawn hated how his voice stuttered.

You felt his eyes on you the entire night up until you sent your teary farewells to your friends as they went home. You turned to say your final, most important goodbye of the night. But Shawn had already slipped through the door tucked in with the graduated hockey team. No hug. No smile. No nothing. Not even a “bye carrots”.

Shawn didn’t show up at the house the next morning nor when you hugged Aaliyah at the airport. Even Karen and Manny tearfully hugged you before you checked into security, but their son was nowhere to be seen.

-

Australia was everything you wanted and more. The beaches were to die for and the sun was tanning your skin well, not to mention you loved your school. Everything was perfect on all fronts but one. You hated how much Shawn’s dismissal bothered you. He didn’t know when he’d see you again but he brushed you off like you were some chip on his shoulder. You hate that it bothered you and you hate that he hurt you.

Shawn knew that he was an asshole before Aaliyah told him that you asked for him. His mom for God’s sake kept eyeing him like he was a hurt puppy and Shawn knew he looked like one too. Tour had started up again in Portland after your graduation and he was content with performing, it was his safe space. But he was just wanting to be in Australia with you.

“Hey Brian,” Shawn had to rush before his soundcheck because he wanted to know when you would get there.

“Hey man, what’s up?”

“Carrots is coming to the show, right?”

“She’s not sure,” he offered a short smile to Shawn, Brian blamed him for his sister’s reluctance, “she has a chem exam tomorrow.”

“O-oh, okay. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

“Sure thing, now get out there, rockstar!”

Shawn froze and Brian knew he messed up. But the famous Canadian boy ran off after stumbling and started his soundcheck. He was a mess, so bad that Andrew called a break. He didn’t do that, not since the Handwritten tour.

“Shawn? What’s going on?”

He just sat there on one of the speakers off stage, dropping his head in his hands. Brian knew he had to do something because Shawn wouldn’t be able to pull it together without his baby sister pushing him along. Shawn just watched his friend walk off to the side, phone pressed to his ear.

“Y/N?”

-

You had no intention of driving the long 3 hours to Shawn’s arena. You had a hot cup of tea, your roommate thought it was gross saying “it’s so hot out though,” and the Harry Potter disk was calling your name. But Brian called and said Shawn needed you and that made the drive feel far longer than ever before.

Arriving at the Qudos Bank Arena 15 minutes before the concert was not the plan, but you hadn’t put into account the countless fans pushing and shoving their way past you. When you finally reached the side door your hair was disheveled, your strap had fallen down your shoulder, and your cheeks were flushed the same way Shawn’s always were.

“Hi,” you smiled at the security guard, “I’m Brian Craigen’s sister and I need to get through.”

He just laughed and turned away. Well, okay then. You stepped away from the door and called your big brother.

“Brian?”

“Y/N? Are you here yet? Kind of in desperate need.”

“Yeah, I am but security won’t let me in. I’m at door,” you looked around, “5A, I think.”

“Ok, I’m coming with Andrew. Give your phone to the guard, would you?”

The two men on the phone had a short conversation ending with the security guy apologizing profusely and opening the gate so you could slip into the venue. You didn’t know where to go but soon that anxiety settled when your clumsy brother ran right into you.

“Brian! Ow!”

“Sorry! Okay, so I’m taking you through to Shawn’s room,” he looked down at you, “yeah?”

“O-okay.”

-

Shawn’s dressing room was a disaster, you knew he wasn’t neat but this was on a whole new level. His wardrobe was thrown around and you sent a sympathetic glance towards Tiffany, his stylist, before finally glancing down at Shawn. He was curled over his legs on the couch, fingers pulling at the poor worn out curls. He looked like a disaster and your heart ached a little at the sight.

“Rockstar?”

His eyes whipped up and he froze as he took you in all the way from those stupid converse you refused to let go of, thought they were 2 sizes too small, all the way up to your signature red hair.

“C-carrots?”

Before you knew it, Shawn had jumped from his position and folded himself against you and your memory again flashed back to freshman year. You were enveloped in everything distinctly Shawn. His smell and his curls that tickled you. The tapping of his fingers against your spine. This was your Shawn, not that boy who failed to say goodbye 5 months ago.

“Hi bud, how are you doing?” You whispered in his shoulder.

“Better now, thanks.”

“I’m still a little mad at you,” he tensed up, pulling you impossibly closer, “no goodbye, no hug, no nothing, Shawn.”

“I’m sorry, carrots.”

The two of you crashed onto his couch in his previous spot but a different position. Shawn was almost at ease, neither of you mentioned the hand with that swallow tattoo still resting on your hip. He just looked at you and you looked at him. This was good.

“What’s going on?”

“What?” He seemed startled by your sudden question.

“Why did Brian think that it was important for me to be here? Why am I here, Shawn?”

He pouted and he just wanted to hold you but Shawn knew that you deserved an explanation for why he’s been so confusing.

“I can’t think straight without you around,” you went to interrupt but he cut you off, “let me say this and then you can go home if you really want to. Most of the tour I was fine with you not being there but when I knew you could be here and you chose not to? I don’t know, i-it threw everything off. And Brian would kill me for saying this but, carrots you drive me crazy. I mean you always have but I don’t know it’s different now. I always liked you, always, and Brian didn’t like the idea of me anywhere near you so I just deflected you. That’s why I started picking on you, calling you carrots. I just knew I couldn’t like you. But I really do, Y/N, I just can’t let you be mad at me.”

He looked at you, your face shocked and that’s when Shawn started to backpedal.

“Hey, relax okay? Nothing has to change your still my best friend’s annoying little sister. Nothing will be different,” Shawn pauses, “if you don’t want it too. I mean you don’t have to like me or anything just because I really li-”

You cut him off and you don’t care how cliche it is but everything fell into place. His lips were soft, not that you had thought they wouldn’t be. Shawn was so shocked he didn’t move until you pulled away, mumbling a short “sorry.” And the. He placed his lips against yours, finally, his hand cupped your jaw and everything was different between you two.

“Hey,” you pulled away slightly, your nose still pressed to his, “you didn’t call me carrots.”

Brian barged in right as Shawn was about to speak.

“Okay, I’m trying to be a ��cool’ brother or whatever but no tongue when I’m around, deal?”

“Deal,” Shawn’s eyes still focused on you, “definitely a deal.”

“Yeah, yeah. Shawn you need to be on stage like now.” And with that Brian left.

“Come to the side stage?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” And you wouldn’t because Shawn was smiling at you like you were his world and maybe you were.

“Hey carrots?” He grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the door, “I really like you.”

permanent tag list: @wholesomemendes @fallinallincurls @ashwarren32 @mendesficsxbombay @haute-shawn @turtoix @prncsnee @http-isabela

[livexdolan]

Sushi ~e.d

A/n: ok so, yes, this is another Ethan story, I’m sorry I can’t help it, he’s my baby. Anywho- this is based off a lucid dream I had A WHILE ago- but are we surprised this took me so long to write? (the answer’s no lol) I was just mentioning the whole dream thing because, this is my story so of course it doesn’t make complete sense- sue me. 

Summary: You’re going out for dinner to your favorite Japanese restaurant that happens to be packed. The only available seats are at the sushi bar next to two young guys You don’t realize you know the two men until it’s too late- but is this just a blessing in disguise?

Warnings; Fluff, anxiety, fluff, and, oh hey- some more fluff.

Word Count: 2.2k

Tags; @episkygrant (my bup :)) and @georgia302

ALSO- THE TWINS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 18 IN THIS SO DON’T COME FOR ME!! OK, ENJOY :))

“Would you just walk?!” I exclaimed, pushing- or trying I should say- my 6 4’ dad through the little curtain that has a very large sumo wrestler that never fails to creep me out. 

My mom just sighs behind us, “Kevin would you stop being an ass, we’re all- oh,” my mom stops mid-scold. We all stand close to the corner as we look around our favorite local Japanese restaurant.

The place is packed, every table and booth occupied by families or teens chatting loudly. Waitresses move around quickly table to table and I just happen to see that the sushi bar seems to have empty seats. “Good evening, Welcome to Wasabi, is it just the three of you tonight?” The hostess asks us.

“Y-yes, just the three of us,” My mom replies still seemingly shocked at how many people are in the small place. 

“Okay, I’m sorry but there’s a 30-minute wait on any booths and tables right now-”

“Can’t we sit at the sushi bar?” I say, pointing over to the counter where two people are sitting, three seats open on the left of them, and three on the right of them. My parents look at each other, me, then the hostess, my dad raising his eyebrows as though he’s asking if that’s okay.

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry I should’ve asked if you’d be fine sitting there,” She smiles at us, grabbing three menus.

“Oh, it’s totally cool, no worries,” My mom smiles reassuring the hostess, who now that I’m getting a closer look at, seems to be new.  

We make our way over to the bar when one of the men sitting at the counter turns to the other, giving me a view of his side profile that I know way too well. I can’t help stopping completely, my mom bumping into me and asking what’s wrong. 

My throat feels tight, my hands are clammy and my mouth feels like someone just stuffed cotton in it. “Y/n, are you okay?” My mom questions worry evident in her eyes as she searched my glossed over ones.

I can’t speak, I can only move my eyes between my mom and the two tall, loud men sitting at the sushi bar. My mouth keeps opening and I can only imagine that I look something like a fish out of water. No way is it them.

My dad sits next to them and looks back, realizing my mom and I are not following him anymore his brows furrow and he looks around confused at what’s happening. “Oh- honey is that- are those the-” I cut my mom off by nodding my head rapidly. 

“I-” I clear my throat trying to dislodge the lump in my throat, “I’m going to go to the bathroom,” I push past my mom and keep my head down as I pass the sushi bar and avoid my dad’s worried looks. 

I glance up and see the older twin filming a snap video of his younger twin messily eating a piece of sushi and they both start laughing. I walk down the small hallway and go into the bathroom. Looking myself in the mirror I pray that this isn’t a dream. 

Okay, breathe, it’s just the Dolan Twins sitting at the sushi bar at the local restaurant in your town, sitting next to your parents at the sushi bar. I look at myself in the mirror and try to fix my hair a little, shifting my shirt out of habit. I add a little bit of chapstick to my lips.

I take a deep breath and walk back out into the loud restaurant. When I get back to the sushi bar I’m surprised- to say the least- to see that everyone’s shifted down to the right one seat, leaving me with nowhere to sit.

That’s not what has my mouth hanging open- it’s the loud obnoxious laughs coming from not only my parents- but the twins as well. Holy shit. My parents are laughing and joking with Ethan and Grayson fucking Dolan. 

I slowly make my way over to my mom who’s sitting in the seat that was supposed to be mine. I shyly tap her shoulder, she turns around and gives me a soft smile, “Oh, honey! We had to move down but there’s a seat next to Ethan.”

I bite my lip and look up, seeing that I’ve become the center for attention. I make eye contact with the older twin and he smiles at me, calming me a little bit as I start to stumble over to the seat next to him my hands start to sweat and I crack my knuckles out of habit when nervous, “O-ok.”

I try my best to gracefully slide into the high seat next to him without leaning too close to him. He does a quick scan over my body, his tongue coming out to lick his lips before he clears his throat and looks up at me. Once he notices that I’m already staring at him he blushes, and I feel like my entire body flushes and is on fire.

He sends me a shy smile and I bite my lip to hide the wide grin that is fighting its way onto my face. I feel like I’ve just won a medal or something, I made Ethan Dolan blush. 

“Ok, so I’m Ethan, and I’m assuming you’re Y/n. Your parents told us a bit about yourself.”

“Oh God,” I groan, putting my head in my hands and pushing my hair back before looking at him again and very shyly asking, “what’d they tell you?”

He chuckles at my reaction and I realize that his laugh is my favorite sound- on and off-camera. His dimples show as he replies casually, in a cocky tone, “Just that you’re 17, a senior, really into YouTube…” he trails off and sends me a teasing smirk.

“Great!” I say sarcastically, “so they told you I watch y’alls videos?”

“And that you might have some Dolan Twins merch in the back of your closet- I was a little upset to hear you don’t wear it much anymore, to be honest.” 

I drop my head to the counter with a small strangled noise then sit back up straight and clear my throat looking him dead in his hazel eyes, “Ok, look- stop making that face,” I point an accusatory finger at him as he bites his lip to suppress his smile and holds his hands up in surrender, I roll my eyes at him, “I’m not like- I don’t know everything about you and a bunch of weird facts and shit like ‘Did you know Ethan Dolan sprained his right knee when he was 4 years old after his sister pushed him down the stairs?’ Ok? Yes, I watch your videos, yes I follow you on social media, yes I’ve been watching you since like before 4OU, Yes- ok, I used to have a fan account at one point- but I’m not like that anymore. I got your merch for my birthday a year ago and I- I don’t really fit it anymore so I don’t wear it. Ok,” I take a deep breath, “that’s it.”

“Wow- okay, a lot of information to process but I think I get it now. I’m sorry for teasing you, I was just joking.”

“I know you were- but I also know that you two deal with crazy fans and I want you to know I’m not one of them.”

He sends me a smile and is about to say something when we’re interrupted by the waitress placing my food in front of me. My mouth starts to water at the sight of one of my favorite meals- shrimp fried rice. “Damn, that looks good,” Ethan hums from next to me.

I look up at him through my lashes, “You want to split it with me? There’s no way I’ll be able to finish this, I never do,” I laugh and gesture to the bowl. 

“Oh no, it’s-” his eyebrows raise at my stern look, and I slightly push the bowl closer to him, putting it right between us, he sighs and gives me a crooked smile, picking up his silverware, “I guess one bite wouldn’t hurt, right?” I nod my head, agreeing with him, and hand him the soy sauce.

Twenty minutes later we were laughing and we had all fallen into a very comfortable flow of chatter and silence and my nerves were dissolved almost fully. My mom and dad get up with Grayson to go over and pay the bill while Ethan and I finish up our food.

As Ethan steals a shrimp from my designated side of the bowl- again- I hit his fork with mine causing him to drop it and his fork hits the side of the bowl with a loud clatter, making everyone look at us as we both just look at each other. We both grow red in the face and start laughing.

Once our laughter died down a little I realized I was getting a little chilly so I set my fork down and rubbed my bare arms to try and get some warmth. “You cold?” 

Ethan’s voice startles me slightly and I just smile at him before grabbing my fork again to steal my shrimp back, “Just a little, but m’fine. It’s not that bad.”

He sighs and shakes his head slightly, “Well, I don’t believe you,” I’m about to question him when he stands up abruptly. He starts tugging his large hoodie off his body, as he pulls it over his head, his long-sleeve comes up a little. I blush before quickly averting my eyes from his prominent v-line and try to keep my mind from diving head-first into the gutter, “Here,” he says in a soft, but commanding voice, pushing the hoodie towards me.

I sigh and look up at him, “What’re the chances of you still giving me that hoodie even if I tell you I’m really not that cold and I’ll be fine?” I raise an eyebrow at him.

He smiles at me, his dimples showing and the mole on his cheek raising slightly. He shrugs and pushes it into my lap, “Very high.”

I shake my head and slide out of my seat, “Fine,” I pull the hoodie on over my head and as I pull my hair out the back, I feel a hand against my face lightly pushing the hair out of my face.

My breath hitches as my eyes meet Ethan’s. He leans in closer, his lips brushing against my cheek before going to my ear, “What’re the chances of you giving me your phone number so we can hang out again and keep in touch?” 

I look up at him through my lashes, grabbing his hand and leaning up to his ear, whispering just as softly as he did, “Very high.”

I pull away slowly and he smiles at me. When I return the smile he winks. I snort and roll my eyes, grabbing my phone off the bar, I hand it to him as he pushes his phone into my hand. Already pulled up to a new contact page, I put in my number and name into his phone. I quickly open his camera and take a picture with my tongue out, fingers up in a ‘peace’ symbol with my right eye dropped into a wink, I set that as my contact photo before he suddenly grabs me and pulls me into his arms. 

I gasp as my back meets his hard chest and he wraps one arm around me, my phone in his other hand, the camera pulled up and pointing towards our faces, “Smile baby,” he kisses the side of my head quickly before smiling at the camera. My face flushes deep red and I grin at the camera. The butterflies in my stomach from the pet name are so strong that I feel like I might fall over. 

“Okay, lovebirds, let’s go,” Grayson’s voice brings us back to reality and I realize that my parents have already stepped outside. 

We walk outside and I pull the sleeves of Ethan’s hoodie further down so that I can grab them with my hands, making ‘hoodie paws’ as some people put it. I look down to hide the constant blush that’s on my face when Ethan wraps his arm around my waist again. I look over at my parents, worried to see their reactions only to find them smiling softly at us before looking away once they saw I was watching them.

I turn and bury my head in Ethan’s chest, wanting to feel his warmth again and have him hug me. I wrap my arms around his neck and he ducks his head down to put it in the crook of my neck, his scent completely engulfs just like it did when I put his hoodie on and I smile at the sweet, soothing smell. We can faintly hear my parents getting Grayson’s number and bidding him goodbye. 

We reluctantly pull away from each other, very slowly. Ethan smiles at me and kisses my nose, “I promise you- we’re going to hang out soon. I’ll call you later, yeah?”

“You better,” I say back and lean up to kiss his nose.

I turn out of his grip and go to quickly hug Grayson, “It was so nice meeting you,” I grin up at him and he mirrors my expression.

“It was awesome meeting you too, Y/n, you have some pretty cool parents,” he chuckles.

I look over at my parents saying goodbye to Ethan before my mom catches my eye and winks. I turn back to Grayson, “Yeah, I really do.”