#since they are pretty shit at solving crimes.

[barachiki]

Aways be prepared when coming to a crime scene.

[obsessedwrhys]

Can we have a part 2 Deadpool reader with the boys and maybe soldier boy too❓❓ if you want to of course

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Boys x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader's origin will be explained underneath, reader is still an asshole lol that comes with the character, mention about killing,death,gore, weed, drugs, Reader is gn!!!

ᯓ★ here's a version with the seven, kiss kiss <3

Origin:

Quick summary, when you were born, your parents had agreed with Vought to have you be pumped full of Compound V so you could grow up and be a hero working under them, but the problem was when you were around 7, they changed their mind so Vought ended up sending several people to come to your house to settle the matter.

Your whole family was massacred in the living room during thanksgiving and when they tried to capture you. You were able to run away. Homeless and living on the street, you grew up in a life of crime, depending on nobody but yourself. Make sense? No? Good! Let's start now.

BUTCHER

To him, you were like a fly that won't leave him alone.

How he knew you was through Mallory, she thought you were okay and fit for the job since you hated Vought just as much.

Obviously he didn't like you once you were introduced to him and the two (M.M and Frenchie)

"No way am I lettin' a supe join us"

":("

Though after what happened to Mallory's grandchildren, the gang pretty much dispersed but wherever Butcher went, you followed. Since he was the only person you trusted... and also enjoy annoying the shit out of.

He'd head inside a club, relieved he hadn't seen you for the past few days so he decided to grab a drink by the bar to unwind.

"Whiskey" He said with his eyes looking around, paranoia shown on his face.

Once his drink was served, he would look back to find your eyes smiling at him, you were wearing a bartender disguise over your red suit.

"Did you miss me?"

"Oh christ..."

When you heard word that he was gathering back the team, you had to be there. What kind of friend would you be if you didn't?

Undoubtedly he had to admit, there were times where he was grateful to have you on the team but there were also other times he regretted it.

For example, that time when you guys needed to sneak into a lab to get something and the goal was to stay quiet but even that simple rule was hard for you to follow.

"Room's up ahead. (Y/N) I need you to—"

"Heads up!" You said as you threw a bomb at the metal door.

The explosion causing the alarm to turn on and it had the whole lab now on high alert. You shrug innocently when Butcher glared at you like he wanted to tear you apart.

Also, you enjoy constantly pissing him off. You can't die so you don't really care if he'll kill you for it.

"Maybe, if you didn' press the fuckin' button, we wouldn't have to come bac' to save yer ass from the guards"

"OOH GOD SAVE THE QUEEEN!! Please, cry me a fucking river. I got us the target didn't I?"

"He's dead"

"Well you weren't being specific when you said to capture him"

But it's fine, all his frustration will be solved once he uses you as bait. He knows you can't die but hey, it makes him feel slightly better watching you get shot at.

Despite your ups and downs, he appreciates you. When the team would turn against him on his insane journey for revenge, he always found you the only one still standing by his side. You're loyal and he likes that.

Compatibility? 75%

HUGHIE

You treat him like a child.

No seriously you baby talk him sometimes and it annoys him

"Awwwww is little hughie angry?"

"Stop..."

"Does baby want his milky?"

Since he's pretty much the only person who isn't that exposed to crime as the others, he's terrified 100% everytime when he's paired up to do any dirty work with you.

"Now listen buddy, you better start talking or I'm gonna shoot" You said, gun raised at the man who seemed to be begging you to spare his life in a language you didn't speak.

"I don't think he speaks English"

"Ah shit... ENGLISH!! SPEAK!! ABCDEFG??!"

"How is shouting in English gonna make him understand?"

"Eh, you're right"

BANG

"WHY'D YOU SHOOT HIM??!"

"Well did you expect me to pull out Duolingo and start taking classes?!"

You had to admit, it was a pain in the ass each time he starts giving you the cold shoulder whenever he gets mad at you for doing something terrible. It was like his way of guilt tripping you so you always try to apologise in your own ways.

"Hey..." You said, handing him ice cream.

"...I uh... I don��t like Strawberry ice cream... I thought I told you that"

"God you're so ungrateful!!"

Since he was such a scaredy cat, you try to tone down your craziness a bit. For the sake of him not going into cardiac arrest.

"(Y/N) STOP!! She has nothing to do with this!! She was tricked" Hughie grabbed you by the arm to pull your gun away from the innocent woman.

You turn your head to look at him, then at the woman, then at him again, then the woman, then him again.

"Ugh finnnne... you're boring..."

However, he does appreciate you trying to be a better person. Even you had to admit, after you met him and became friends. You noticed yourself being less brutal than you used to be. The thought keeps you awake at night and it scares the shit out of you.

But oh well, how could you ever say no to those scared little puppy eyes?

Compatibility? 55%

FRENCHIE

He's like your hype man which is concerning.

Not because you're not afraid to get the job done but also because you always have his back.

"Well... I need some gunpowder but I've run out of them" Frenchie said, telling Butcher that the plan was most likely not gonna happen.

"Hold on" You said with the typical comical ☝🏻 gesture before heading into a different room. Everyone exchanging confused glances at what you could possibly be doing.

After a few minutes you'd return with a bag of gunpowder while struggling to zip up your pants with the other hand.

"Don't tell me how I got it. It almost tore me apart" You said, rubbing your ass.

On stressful nights, you guys would enjoy smoking weed together by the sofa and share stories of your traumatic childhood. It's how you guys bond and it's oddly wholesome.

Also when he needs a shoulder to cry on, you were always there for him. You two shared a type of relationship that even Romeo and Juliet couldn't compete with. To be fair they're dead so they actually can't fight.

"Hey reader!! If you're gonna keep reading then you might as well give the post a like or a repost. C'mon, pleassssseeee pleasepleaseplease"

"Ma cerise, who are you talking to?"

Although he doesn't mind your behaviour sometimes but he won't tolerate it if you ever cross the line on something. He's like the owner who sprays water at his pet cat when they don't listen.

"What are you mad at me for?!?!"

"You damn near tried to get us killed!!"

"Hey! You're the one who said it would be a suicide mission so I made sure it was a suicide mission!!"

"WHAT?"

There's no way he can deny how curious he is about where you get your guns and things. He once went in your room to find boxes of dynamite and a RPG just placed against the wall like furniture.

Like do you have a supplier or are you your own supplier?

Compatibility? 99.9%

M.M

Everybody deserves second chances.

He always tells him that to calm himself down everytime you managed to fuck up a thoroughly planned mission.

"What did I say about pressing buttons (Y/N)?"

"Honestly I stopped paying attention after you said 'Listen here'."

M.M has to be the only person you fear to the fact you try very hard to avoid him, this is because his long ass lectures are such a pain to deal with.

"How many times do I have to remind you? You can't just go around doing shit like that. You gotta consider the amount of danger you'll put everyone in..."

"(Blah blah blah... he's still going... uggggh... make it stop...!)"

Unable to handle the lecture any longer, you ended up shooting yourself in the head.

"(Y/N)!" His tone more disappointed than concern since this wasn't the first time you did this to escape his talks.

You know that russian dollhouse he tries to build in season 2? Well you'd constantly be found standing or sitting near him when he's trying to finish the set.

Since you're aware of his OCD, you like to edge him on by sometimes rearranging the parts or stealing some of it so he ends up searching high and low for the missing parts.

You had to admit it was entertaining to watch him accuse other people for touching his stuff when it was you behind all the schemes.

I'd like to think that after every mission when you happen to die, he'd be the one in charge of collecting your remains so you'd grow back.

That's why it comes naturally that his job is to make sure you don't do anything extreme.

"Where are my bombs??!?!" You'd shout, storming around the place looking for them.

"I sold them. Thought it'd do us more good knowing you won’t accidentally blow us up"

"WHAT?! GOD! It's like the writers of the show couldn't afford another explosion for this season so they had to use this DUMB of an excuse!!"

Though he does see some good in you through the messed up parts, he once saw you give his daughter a cute teddy bear when they've been burned by Vought.

She still has the bear and M.M likes to think that maybe you have a soft spot for kids since you never had a proper childhood. That's why he chooses to understand you rather than just being ignorant about your behaviour.

Compatibility? 80%

KIMIKO

She finds you a little odd but she doesn't mind once she realises how everyone is used to you being like that.

Whenever you're bored, you'd come to see what she was up to. Just imagine you sitting on the sofa like a curious kid as you watch her write alphabets on the book.

She also tries to communicate with you since she thought maybe your fucked up mind would understand her better in a way. Like how in season 2 she was repeatedly writing 'boy' to Frenchie but he didn't understand, so she came to you.

"Woow... watching you try to talk to me is like watching a baby take it's first breath..."

"😐"

"It's beautiful..."

Turns out her theory was wrong, you had a harder time understanding her compared to the rest.

Since you're the only two people in the group with powers, most of the time you two are sent on dangerous missions together. It's a nightmare for her because everybody knows communication is key but one is mute and the other doesn't listen.

"(Be quiet! There's people in the other room!)" She'd sign to you but you were busy humming a song while throwing around the enemies equipment.

"Oooh, what's this?" You held up a Homelander figurine which made you laugh as you show it to her.

"Hey look! 'I'm Homelander, I'm God's favourite. I play golf with Jesus every Sunday."

"(Can you please take this seriously?)"

"You're right, you gotta stop messing around Kimiko! We have a target to kill here" You said and you threw the figurine away which apparently clashes into a stack of boxes that came crashing down. The sound making everyone inside the building grab their weapons and began cornering you two in the room.

"😡"

"Okay that wasn't me that was gravity"

For the boys, you were plan A and she was plan B. That's because you always end up rushing into a fight first which most of the time resulted in you getting dismembered, which she later comes in to save you.

For example when Stormfront had stopped you guys, your bright ass thought it was a good idea to charge at her even though everyone was signalling you to stop. Next thing you know you were just a head being carried by M.M, you ended up watching as Kimiko fought Stormfront with the help of Starlight and Queen Maeve.

"That's my girl!! Now can anyone lend me a hand? I think I lost mine"

Compatibility? 97%

Bonus +

SOLDIER BOY

You know the scene where he walks out of his containment with the gas surrounding him? You swore when you watched him step out butt naked, you could hear angels singing and trumpets playing inside your head.

Shockingly enough, he was the only person who appreciated your humour. Could be a generation thing. He's just relieved not everyone has gone soft over the years.

In a way, you feel like you've become his babysitter. Everytime Butcher and Hughie left to do some business, you were in charge of making sure he doesn't blow up anyone. You kept him entertained so he didn't mind. That's why on the hunt for his former team members, he immediately chose you to be by his side.

"I'll take red with me"

"Red as in the american flag or the russians?" You asked which had him do the typical boomer laugh.

"I like you, you're funny" He said with a strong pat on your shoulder.

Butcher doesn't mind you with him cause he trusts that you can keep him under control. Hughie on the other hand isn't sure if you can even keep yourself under control.

"Shhh... wait... do you hear that?"

"Ah shit, did I accidentally said my dirty thoughts out loud? It's just you look breedable in that suit"

Another thing he likes about you is that you're okay with killing pretty much anyone, just try not to overstep cause that could potentially piss him off.

"I told you he's mine" He said as he had you pinned against one of the trees, apparently you had shot Mindstorm in the head when he literally made it clear to you minutes ago that was his kill.

"Quite possessive aren't you? I can recommended a therapist I know. Her names Martha—"

"You shut your mouth before I shove my shield up your ass"

"Gasp don't you DARE threaten me with a good time!!"

At the end of Season 3, you would obviously side with Butcher when everyone started to turn against Soldier Boy. He had to admit he was kinda hurt though, he expected you to be on his side.

"So what? You're crawling back to him now? After what we've been through?"

"Sorry big daddy, but Butcher has been my day one and I also happen to love him veryvery much"

Cue Butcher rolling his eyes out of disgust.

Compatibility? 100% but after the betrayal? 0% 😔

[castillon02]

Tim reviews Jason's operations management and makes a suggestion.

"Your first move: hire a head of sanitation," Tim said.

"You think a janitor's gonna solve my suddenly-successful-startup problems? What, by sweeping them away?" Jason rolled his eyes.

Tim steepled his fingers. “The good news,” he said, “is that your drug distribution and community norms enforcement hierarchy is very clear. You also have people doing marketing, program management, HR, facilities, and admin. Your system of rotating duties when people get injured isn’t bad—people generally benefit from cross-training—but you should formalize the top positions and compensate your new leadership team. Including sanitation.” 

“Sure, sure, I'll just tell one of my guys their job is to be head shit-scrubber instead of a badass neighborhood protector!" Jason threw up his hands.

Tim raised his eyebrows.

“It’s bad enough getting them to clean up a crime scene when they’re on my literal shit list! A couple of them thought that lighting the building on fire was an easier way to get it to stop smelling bad and having DNA. Guess who had to add five new slides to his powerpoint about evidence disposal?" Jason glared.

Tim grimaced. "I had an intern in the office who thought that he could just throw trash off his desk for the cleaning staff to pick up."

He and Jason shared a commiserating look that silently said, We were both stupid enough to work with the League of Assassins, and even we wouldn't do that.

“Anyway," Tim continued, "since you're dealing with...that...you can just hire an outside party. Lots of people in Gotham know how to clean up dead bodies and keep their mouths shut. I can advertise the position and send you the likeliest candidates for an interview. I’ll have to incorporate you, of course, but I’ve had the paperwork ready since I got back from the Middle East.” 

“Incorporate me?” 

“Red Hood LLC, technically."

Jason's breathing became calculatedly even.

"Once you’re legit in the eyes of the law, we can work on squaring away everyone’s taxes and keep you from getting Capone’d.” 

“I’m as legit as one of Two-Face’s two-dollar bills!” 

“Yeah, but when you’re an LLC, all your crimes are white-collar crimes, and no one cares about those.” Tim shrugged.

“...Pretty sure that’s not how that works, bud.” 

“It’s how the court of public opinion works. And if anyone tries to say that Red Hood, CEO of Red Hood LLC, and Red Hood, notorious vigilante, are the same person? Tell them to prove it. So what if you have the same outfit? It’s a free country and people can wear what they want. And if they ever get your DNA results, Oracle says no they didn't.”

Jason tilted his head and started smiling. "You want Red Hood to be the Scarlet Pimpernel and Percy Blakeney. At the same time."

"The more blatant you are about it, the better. Rub elbows with Gotham's elite and tell them that you can't imagine why someone would let a Crime Alley vigilante ruin their ability to wear a red hood as a fashion statement, but in your company, people have spines. Especially when they're job creators. If you play your cards right, red headgear will be back in fashion."

"And then?"

"And then," Tim's eyes gleamed, "you start selling merch."

"Oh, shit." Jason's smile turned into a full-on smirk.

"On a sliding scale, of course."

"Those nepo babies are gonna pay me so much money to look cool."

Tim smiled. "And that's how hiring a head shit-scrubber is going to mitigate your high growth and cash flow problems."

[okiedokrie]

All Is Fair In Love And War (TEASER)

Summary: Joshua is nothing if not determined. If he wants something, he'll get it; not that he even had to try before. But sometimes, like Icarus, he flies a little too close to the sun. But hey, all is fair in love and war!

Characters/Pairing: Aphrodite Incarnation!Joshua x Fem!Detective!Very Mortal!Reader

Genre: smut, fluff, crack, angst if you really squint

AUs/Trope Info: Greek God!AU, Partners In Solving Crimes, Strangers to Lovers, "time isnt linear" trope, "holy shit im kind of obsessed with you" trope

Word Count: 900+ for the teaser, est. 10k≤ for the full fic

Warnings: Depiction of a crime scene (gore, blood, gun, conspiracy), depiction of drug use, character death (major and minor), smut warnings under the cut when full fic is uploaded

Rating: 18+

A/N: This is part of the The 13 Gods of Olympus: A Seventeen collab hosted by @beomcoups and @wooahaeproductions! This is just the teaser, so if you enjoy it, please consider signing up for the taglist. Thank you!!

In the summer of 2000, Joshua Hong was almost five years old. People always commented on how pretty he was for a kid, that he’d surely grow up to be a very handsome man. 

Which is why it was a tragedy when he died from a freak truck accident.

Yes, Joshua Hong died at the age of five. For like, 10 minutes.

The doctors called it a miracle - a small child should not have survived a whole six of the twelve truck wheels, but somehow he was resuscitated, much to his parents’ delight.

This incident caused two things to change dramatically - Californetherlands now has stricter trucking laws and Joshua woke up to memories of literally being Aphrodite.

Throughout the years, from that fateful summer day to the present day, Joshua flopped back and forth between believing that the memories were just fever dreams and genuinely considering that he may be a reincarnation of the goddess. But ever since he got to hone his powers, he’s been more inclined to believe the latter.

By the age of  28, he has mastered the art of seduction. No, not sleeping with people constantly. It was more so the art of getting people to say ‘yes’ to everything he asked of them.

This made Joshua a very powerful and influential figure in Los Amsterdam; You see, the way he dealt wasn’t by out-witting people or being richer than them. He dealt in favors. If you wanted to be a popstar, he’d introduce you to a famous producer, and get you a record deal that would solidify your career - all for the low, low price of free.

In turn,  you’d owe him, like the many powerful people who owed him large favors.

Joshua found himself in downtown LA, in the club that he owned, just under his penthouse. He enjoyed playing the guitar and performing for his patrons, everyone seemingly captivated by his voice, or his beauty, whichever one caught their attention first. He finally strummed the last chord of his song, enjoying the applause of the crowd as the DJ started to play the usual club music. Just as he was about to retreat to the bar, a feminine voice stopped him.

“Joshua! Hey!” She said, hair bouncing over her new fur coat, jumping excitedly, calling him over.

Joshua smiled widely at her - she was one of the people he had helped start her career as a singer. He didn’t do much other than introduce her to the CEO of her current label, it was her natural talent that got her this far.

“Ah, Diana, good to see you!” He said, going over to meet her in a friendly hug, the kind that didn’t touch at all. “How has being a singer treated you? Any good news?” He said, making small talk with an old acquaintance.

“Oh please,” she started, her new haughty attitude showing, “It’s all over the news! I just got nominated for a Grammy!” She said in a sing-song tone. Joshua just nodded Truth be told, he didn’t really have much interest in pop music, but he did try to match her enthusiasm.

“That’s great! I knew you’d make it big.” he said, remembering the first time she came to him, a girl in clothes that almost looked like rags, now decked out in every designer brand you could think of. “So, what brings you back here then? Surely you already have everything you ever wanted?” He said lightheartedly. Even if all of Joshua’s connections owed him favors, it was quite uncommon for them to come back to him after having achieved their dreams.

“Well,” She said, her old, meek bashfulness coming to the surface. “I just wanted to see you again, to thank you for what you have done for me.” She tucked a hair behind her ear. “And I know no matter what favor I do for you in return, I could never break even for just how much you’ve impacted my life. So, thank you, Joshua.”

Joshua genuinely felt relieved to hear her say that - usually, people’s pride and greed got in the way of them acknowledging those who truly helped them along the way, but as he suspected, this girl still had a soul so pure. “Let's get some drinks by the bar and chat some more, yeah? My treat.” He offered, which she gladly took, the conversation between them flowed naturally, Joshua enjoying her tales of success.

It was an hour after the club closed that Diana decided it was time to head home. Joshua offered to see her off, like the gentleman he was, and so they walked to the sidewalk, her hand around his arm.

Joshua opened the taxi door for her, offering her a few bills in cash to cover the fare, “It was nice seeing you again, hopefully, you’ll make time to catch up with me in the future.” he said through the taxi window.

“Yeah, I hope I get the chance to see you again soon. Goodnight Joshua.” She said as she rolled up the taxi window.

Joshua watched the taxi drive until the end of the block, everything seemingly going smoothly, up until another car intercepted hers in the intersection.

It happened so quickly, too quickly for  Joshua to even register the new car’s window sliding down, holding a gun out to the taxi Diana was in. Gunshots echoed through the street, the sound of tires popping and glass shattering but all Joshua could make out was the sound of two sets of four tires screeching against the concrete. Diana’s taxi collided with a nearby lamppost, the taxi flattening and curling around it.

That was the last time Joshua saw her alive.

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[kokoa-la]

Prompt from @help-i-need-a-cool-username

Jason has once again snuck into Gotham University. Now, before any assumptions are made onto why the crime lord would break into a college, the reason is because he likes the library. That's it. The public library is trashed and small, barely taken care of, but Gotham U's? It's beautiful. Multiple floors, organized and in sections, taken care of, alphabetical order, it's magnificent. The chairs were a reason alone to sneak in, but the students here added an extra charm. 

He had gone to the very back of the library on the second floor. This area was  pretty well hidden and enclosed. He would come here to read without anyone questioning him, even hiding the books he wasn’t finished with yet to continue on later. Jason wasn’t expecting someone to be so close to his spot though. A few tables across stood a student, thin, tall, with pitch black hair, baggy cargo jeans, and a white t-shirt. The other hadn’t noticed him yet, so he remained quiet and just watched. He was in front of a large white board on wheels, seemingly taken from the rooms he saw down the hall. 

“That doesn’t work, goddammit.”

On the white board was lines upon lines of equations- at least he thought they were equations, with most of them being letters and symbols rather than numbers. It made the vigilante’s brain hurt. The student - assumed STEM major - just kept mumbling to himself.

“Stupid physics, won’t allow interdimensional travel”

What? Jason may have been out of school since 15, but he knew no courses were asking for the answer to traveling between dimensions. It seemed the student had a habit of talking to himself when worked up or focused, possibly why he isolated himself from the rest of the library. 

“If your parents could do it, why can’t you? Think Danny, think!”

That sentence wasn’t concerning at all, but at least Jason learned the boy’s name. Danny seemed to have a strange background, what did he mean by ‘if your parents could do it’? Had his parents managed to travel between dimensions? The other was chewing on the cap of the white board marker, his other hand resting on his hip as he swayed back and forth.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! That! The thing! That thingy!”

Jason could practically see the lightbulb go on above Danny’s head. Just then the other erased a solid portion of the whiteboard and dropped to his knees, ouch. He started frantically scribbling, fast and messy, barely cohesive. Though, Jason was sure that if it was Tim sitting where he was instead, the boy could probably understand everything on that board. He’d stick to English literature, thank you very much. 

“That’s it! Oh my ancients! I got it!”

Danny practically jumped in the air, punching the air in triumph. Jason almost felt proud of him, this complete stranger he’s been watching, wow he was being creepy, huh? Danny shot both of his arms straight up, the marker gripped tightly in his right hand fist. 

“I did it!”

He looked so happy, so excited. He began to buzz, even spinning, before stopping mid loop and turning around slowly. Shit, Jason had been caught. To be fair, Danny hadn’t exactly turned around the whole time, meaning Jason was just watching his back the whole time as he worked through his… problem? It’s such a shame, Jason was thoroughly entertained by this random kid. 

“Uhhh, hi? How long have you been there?”

Oh shit, Jason had to talk now, didn’t he?

“Not very long, but long enough to know you were trying to solve interdimensional travel before apparently succeeding.” 

The color drained from Danny’s face. Whoops?

“Uhm, no I didn’t.”

Now that he got a closer look, the student looked like someone Bruce would adopt. Black hair, clear blue eyes, tan skin, sharp features, the whole nine yards. He was actually fairly attractive, maybe even cute. 

“Really? I could have sworn that you said ‘stupid physics won’t allow interdimensional travel’”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah sure, and I’m a student here.”

“Wait, you’re not a student here?”

“That’d only be true if you were lying.”

“Well I’m not so-”

“Uh huh, sure you’re not.”

“Look dude-”

“Jason.”

“Look Jason, there’s no way that I could solve interdimensional travel, the multiverse doesn’t exist.”

“Look Danny-”

“How do you know my name?”

“I won’t tell a single soul if you explain how you did it to me”

Curiosity won his gambit. Would he regret what he was about to say? Perhaps.

“Maybe over a coffee?”

He knew it was worth it when the marker hit the floor and Danny moved his hand to cover his red face. Well, it wasn’t the first time he’s done something he regrets, maybe this time it’d be a cute STEM major who knows the secrets to the multiverse. 

[dez78]

Who did this to you, sunshine?

----------------------------------

Fandom: Fallout 4

Pairings: Hancock x Fem!Reader

Prompt: Who did this to you?

Warnings: Lots of cursing, Harassment, Blood

Summary: The mayor himself, steps in and solves all your problems.

-----------------------

You had lived in Goodneighbor for the better part of eight years. Since Hancock has been office, you were a scavenger for Daisy. Meaning you also knew the cock sucker, Finn.

Every time he whistled your way, you sneered at him and slapped away his advances. It's been going on for more than a year. Whenever you left for a supply run, he'd slap your ass and blow you a kiss, every night at the Third Rail, he hit you up and tried buying you a drink.

It was getting tiring honestly, you didn't know how much longer you could take it. You wanted to beat the crap out of the son of bitch, but you couldn't. He was a guard and an assault on a guard was a crime.

You debated complaining to Hancock but decided against it. You had a nagging feeling Hancock would simply dismiss it as men being men.

It started out as a normal morning, you woke up and headed to Daisy's from your apartment, when Hancock of all people pulled you aside.

"What's up, mayor?" You questioned, caught off guard. The mayor hardly paid you any mind, unless you were delivering his chems personally. Or so you thought,

"Listen doll, this is kinda tricky for me to stay, so I'm just gonna say it." Hancock started, you blinked for a few seconds, thinking you were high on something.

"Wanna grab a beer with me later tonight?" Hancock asked, you were stunned. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought of the mayor impurely.

"Uh, sure. I just gotta do a supply run now, so maybe afterwards?" You countered his question with a suggestion.

"Sounds good." Was all Hancock said as he turned to walk away, a hint of a smile on his mouth. You melted on the spot; the mayor had asked to take you out. The butterflies settled in your stomach as you smiled stupidly.

You headed out of the town, but not before Finn greeted you with a firm swat to your left cheek, you winced with displeasure.

----------------

It was late afternoon when you stumbled through the door of Goodneighbor. That supply run was a bitch. You had run into more trouble than you cared for. Otherwise, you were unharmed. You walked into town and Finn approached you.

"You look like shit." He told you, you could only frown.

"Not so pretty yourself." You growled venomously. You tired moving past him, but he stopped you.

"I can make you better." He offered, you snorted and turned your nose up.

"Like hell." You replied, you tried moving again, but this time he pinned you.

"Listen here, bitch. I've tried being nice, but this game is getting old." Finn snarled in your face, you looked away. He grabbed your face and forced you to look at him. You winced at the grip of his hand.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." He spat angrily, you ripped from his grip and kneed him in the knads. He growled and held his groin.

"Bitch!" He cried as he slapped you across the face, you whimpered in pain. You looked up,

"Keep your hands off me, you piece of shit. Fuck you." You said as you spit in his face before storming off. You held your busted lip.

You grimaced as you held your jaw, Finn held you so tight, your skin bruised around your jaw and lips.

You couldn't care less and walked into the Third Rail, forgetting about your deal with Hancock.

When you arrived, the mayor was waiting for you,

"One beer, Charlie." You said, the mister handy went to the old fridge and fished out a beer. He slid it to you, and you opened,

"Geez, you had a bad day." Hancock voiced concern, you looked over at him and your eyes widened. He saw the bruises and busted lip in the light. His facial expression changed then.

"What happened?" He questioned, his voice dropped an octave and sent a chill down your spine.

"What?" You asked as you blinked at him dumbfounded, Hancock's finger grazed your injuries, his coal eyes fixated on the specific marks Finn left.

Hancock's eyes darkened, his breathing became ragged as he looked up at you.

"Who did this to you, sunshine?" He questioned. You were breathing heavily, and your mouth was terribly dry. You couldn't find the words, mostly because you didn't want to cause a scene.

"No one." You replied meekly.

"Don't be shy now." Hancock said to you, you looked up and replied shakily.

"Finn."

"That son of bitch!" Hancock snarled as he stood and marched out of the Third Rail, you followed quickly afterwards.

--------

Finn was keeping guard at the front gate, when a fist made contact with the back of his head. He flew forward and landed on his stomach, winded from the fall.

"Get up you piece of shit!" Hancock howled as he picked Finn up by the collar, he swung him around and slammed him against the wall.

"What kind of bastard bruises a woman!" Hancock cried, holding Finn off the ground by his collar.

"Bitch kept rejecting me." Finn replied angrily. Hancock was furious.

"You stupid bastard, you slapped my woman!"

Finn's eyes widened,

"What?" He said stunned.

"That's right, you slapped my woman, you sick fuck!" Hancock cried angrily.

He let the man go and punched him until he fell to the ground.

"Get up! Fight me like a man!" Hancock snarled kicking Finn.

"Unless you're not man enough, a man like you can't fight men. You can only beat on helpless women! Get up!" Hancock wailed picking Finn up off the ground himself.

You were speechless as you stood there, watching Hancock beating the crap out of the man who had harassed you for a year.

"What kind of man beats a woman!" Hancock yelled as he punched Finn again. His knuckles bloody and sore. The man struggled to get up.

"Had enough?" Hancock spat,

"Fuck you." Finn managed to gurgle as he spit blood out onto the ground. Hancock rolled his eyes and pulled out his pistol and shot the man dead.

"Fuck you too."

--------------

Once Hancock got his composure back, he hurried over to you.

"Are you okay?" He asked with worry as he looked you over again,

"You shot him." You said, still speechless.

"Of course I did, nobody beats a woman on my watch. I don't give a fuck who they are." Hancock replied bitterly.

"Are you alright, sunshine?" He asked again, you nodded your head slowly. Hancock pulled you into a tender hug and held you in a close embrace in attempt to comfort you.

[cissyenthusiast010155]

hii I don't know if you write for Cipher from fast and furious but if you do could I request her with prompt 53 and/or 59 🫶 I absolutely adore your fics

Heyyy @ciphersonlywife !! I just saw faxt X for the second time, and I can’t tell you how much I loved Cipher in it 🔥 So your request comes at the perfect time! Thanks for the quests & Hope you enjoy! PSA: manipulation below. This is obviously not ok or healthy. Be advised.

Sirens in Your Head ~Cipher(Fast X) xFem College!Student!Reader

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

#53. “Shit, right there Daddy, please!! … Uhh… I… I didn’t mean that…!”

#59. “You… find this attractive?”

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, smut, fingering, age gap(all legal), pet names, chocking, trespassing, illegal activities, chocking kink, hand kink, Daddy kink, manipulation, etc.

Enjoy (;

How had you, a college freshman and relatively normal young adult, end up working with the world renown cyber terrorist known as ‘Cypher’…?

Well the short story of it is that she picked your broke ass up from MIT and offered you a job.

And the long story is… a little more complicated…

~~~

Cipher had been looking for a good crew ever since Toretto and her escape from her glass cage. And when she heard of a mass hack across all U.S. military equipment, she was intrigued. She was even more intrigued when she found out after some digging that it was done by a MIT freshman.

~~~

That’s how, when you entered your dorm coming back from your chem class, you found the woman who you would come to know you intimately well, leaning back against the opposing wall.

“I… I’m sorry, can I help you?” You asked.

The blonde lunged herself effortlessly off the wall, making her way towards you.

“Sit.” was her sultry reply, indicating towards your desk chair, while she invaded your proximity and locked the door behind you.

The strange woman then watched you sit down without question as she leaned back against your desk. Your breath hitched under her intense gaze. You had to look up to meet her eyes.

She didn’t know what she was expecting, but she certainly expecting you…

“I heard of someone who cyber attacked all of the U.S. military’s key tech… even the classified pieces…” the blonde stared you down as she cooly explained.

“Oh…?” You choked out, your face reddening at her choice of topic.

“Yes. Gotta hand it to the person… pretty clever.” She continued, “Especially when I found out it was a 19 year old kid who hasn’t had any priors… and hasn’t been caught for it…”

Her eyes glimmered mischievously and were drilling into your soul, your own flickering away and doing a terrible job at keeping her at bay. That’s when you noticed the woman’s hands. They were tightly gripping your desk.

And fuck how they were delicious… The idea of them touching you sent sparks through your body and to your core…

You shook your head. You were being found out for a federal crime for gods sake and you were fantasizing about this woman’s hands. But then one of them picks your chin up, directing your gaze back up to her eyes.

Cipher cocked her head amusingly, her eyes scanning you, attempting to solve you. She then removed her hand and a whimper which you desperately tried to stifle escaped you anyway. Your pupils were blown out of proportion, your cheeks ablaze with fusia.

“I want you to work for me…” The woman spoke.

But you didn’t register her. All you could think about was her close presence and her hands which were now rhythmically tapping on your desk. This time Cypher brought her hand to your throat, pushing your head back up to her gaze and squeezing your throat lightly at the same time.

“I don’t like to repeat myself…” she warned, slightly tightening her hold on you.

This time there was no mistaking the pathetic whimper that escaped your lips. And suddenly, the blonde’s eyes flushed with a whole new darkness.

“You… Ohhh, is that what it is…? find this attractive?” Cipher tauntingly purred.

Your breath hitched yet again. You didn’t know whether she was referring to her hand or her choking you or just her in general, but you desperately nodded. She then picked you up by the throat with ease, suddenly switching your positions and pinning you to your desk, eliciting a gasp from you.

“Up.” The blonde commanded.

You hopped up on your desk as fast as humanly possible. Your heart was racing and your breathing was erratic. You immediately looked back up to the blonde. With a wicked smirk, the blonde crept her hands up your thighs, making you shudder. Her hands spread your legs open and hiked your skirt up with ease. You were a flustered mess.

Ciphers eyes never wavered from staring down at you, partially looking for any signs of you not wanting this but mainly wanting to watch ever little reaction she could draw out of you.

“Is this what you want, baby…?” She taunted, her index finger tracing teasing circles over your clothed clit.

Your eyes widened and your hips jerked at the teasing pleasure and pet name. Your mouth formed into a silent O as she continued to lightly tease you. But then she stopped. Your eyes fluttered back up to the blonde, a whimper escaping your lips.

“Oh Baby… I told you, I don’t like to repeat myself…” she growled, her other hand coming back up to your throat and squeezing it deliciously tight.

“I’m… I’m sorry…!” You chocked out in a breathless moan.

At your words, the blonde removed her hand from your neck and that wicked smirk returned. Her hands crept back up your thighs, one staying there to keep your legs propt open, the other snaking it’s way back to your clothed clit.

“Let’s try this again…” she wickedly purred, “Tell me what you want, baby…”

Your eyes rolled back from her torturous pleasuring.

“Want… want you…” you breathlessly pant.

“Want what, baby…? Use your words…” she taunts, moving your panties aside with ease and running her index finger through your folds.

“OhHhHHhh—! Want your fingers inside of me…!!” You breathily cried out.

At this, two of her fingers slipped inside your aching heat, causing you to grab onto her form with a tight grip.

“Good girl… But you might want to keep it down, unless you want the whole campus to hear you…” she wickedly purred, pumping and curling her fingers skillfully inside your soaked cunt.

Your eyes went full white as you rutted against the blonde’s fingers.

“Please please please…!” You chanted.

She then added another finger, making you keel over in pleasure.

“Already so close…? Poor baby hasn’t been properly touched has she…?” She tautingly husked in your ear, using her other hand to choke you once more.

“I—Yes GOD please don’t stop!!” You chockingly cried out, grinding your hips against the blonde’s hand sloppily.

Her fingers then expertly curled against that spongey spot inside you, eliciting another string of pleasurable cries from your lips.

“Shit, right there Daddy, please!!” You screamed as you crashed into your orgasm, your walls deliciously clenching around the blonde’s fingers.

The second you phased out of your blissed out state, you realized what had come out of your mouth.

“Uhh… I… I didn’t mean that…!” You stuttered, beginning to choke up yet again and your gaze fluttering around the room to avoid the blonde’s.

Meanwhile, Cipher pulled her three fingers out of you and stuck them in your mouth, making you come back to reality.

“Work for me.”

You nodded with a mouthful of her fingers and your cum. At your words, Cipher chuckled, bringing her lips to your ear and nipping your earlobe.

“Call me Daddy…” she purred in the shell of your ear.

~~~

[formulaorange]

2023 Fall Anime

This is honestly a loaded season full of new shows based on relatively new manga. Lots to look forward to

Spy x Family - Season 2 One of the most fun SJ series that have come out in a while. Season 1 was killer, high hopes for season 2.

Goblin Slayer 2 I didn't realize they were even making a second season. This was such a killer series. I'm really hoping they don't fall into the many mid-tier fantasy tropes out there in anime right now. I thought the appeal of the show was really Goblin Slayer himself and less about the lackeys along the way. So we'll see how it goes.

Frieren: Beyond Journey's End This is definitely one of my highly anticipated series. It's about an elf who was part of the Hero's party and her life after he dies. (Since elves live longer) Definitely a darker take on fantasy but has some really solid fantasy and adventure vibes.

Rising of the Shield Hero - Season 3 Season 2 was pretty disappointing and slow. While this looks like it'll be more fast paced, it does look like a tournament arc of sorts. I know some aren't a fan of that kind of arc, but honestly I think it's exactly what this series needs to pick things up again. We'll see.

The Faraway Paladin - Season 2 This was legitimately one of my favourite fantasy series. I thought it was really well written and didn't rush things like other series. I'm looking forward to this season.

Sequels/Continuations: Eminence in Shadow - Season 2 killer series with an anti-hero main character. Definitely worth checking out. After-School Hanako-Kun Hanako-kun spin off Dr. Stone Season 3 - Part 2 One of the best novel concept series with nothing else in it's genre to compare to. Definitely didn't drop the ball on the recent seasons and still worth watching. Dead Mount Death Play - Part 2 One that I didn't particularly enjoy, but has a decent sized manga following. Tokyo Revengers - Tenjiku Arc The continuation of the series. Might be just me but it feels like the series fell off after the first season. The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent - Season 2 A more mature take on fantasy isekai that just started to get into romance at the end of last season. A solid combo of shoujo genres. The Ancient Magus' Bride - Season 2 Part 2 One that I haven't had a change to check out yet but have only heard good things about. Hypnosismic - Season 2 a weirdly addictive musical/rap series. Unique characters and honestly solid rap battles. One I'll be enjoying. -- Related - Paradox Live - Music battle with what looks to be the same style of animation and solid character design. Definitely worth looking at if you're a fan of Hypmic. The Seven Deadly Sins: Four Knights of the Apocalypse A sequel of SDS. Looks like it could be a fun watch for the fans of the series. New:

Shangri La Frontier A new manga fantasy series. This may be a horrible way to describe but it is what it is - a new age SAO- full dive fantasy game. A gamer who only plays shit games, gets into a new massively popular MMORPG and is op. One that I'm excited for because it ticks all the fantasy game boxes I like.

Undead Unluck A relatively new manga series that gained a lot of traction in the last year or two. A gory action comedy that's super chaotic and a lot of fun.

Shy Brand new hero manga series about a shy girl and her anxieties and struggles going into the hero world who grows and gains confidence as she becomes a better hero.

Ron Kamonohashi's Forbidden Deductions This is a manga series that I have kept forgetting the name of so never got a chance to read but all the covers for the manga look phenomenal. Likely the anime doesn't do him justice but it is what it is. Essentially sherlock in anime form. A PI with issues and the wholesome police detective work together to solve crime. Other New Series: Green - Fantasy Pink - Romance Red - Action Purple - Drama The Kingdoms of Ruins A world where witches were hunted down by humans as science surpassed magic. A kid who was raised by a witch swears revenge on mankind. This honestly looks solid. The animations are very cool looking and the mc seems to be an anti-hero. Will be looking at this one. Under Ninja A well known manga series about modern ninjas. Definitely a unique series for this season. The Apothecary Diaries A historical medical mystery show. I've heard the name before and I've also only heard good things. Will be worth a watch. A Girl & Her Guard Dog The granddaughter of a crime syndicate goes to highschool out of town and the current young boss lies his way into the same school. Would be cute romance if it weren't for the fact she's 15 and he's 26.. Butareba - The Story of a Man Turned into a Pig What the title says. A girl finds him and the story goes from there. I'm Giving the Disgraced Noble Lady I Rescued a Crash Course in Naughtiness The usual light novel title. Honestly, doesn't seem as yikes as I initially thought, might just be harmless breaking the rules kinda thing. Could be fun, also a Capybara that strikes fear into people's hearts. My Daughter Left the Nest and Returned an S-Rank Adventurer Looks like a wholesome series where an adventurer finds a baby, raises it and she becomes so strong she's busy working all the time. Just a cute father daughter relationship in a fantasy setting about her wanting to come take time to see him but being caught up in OP fantasy battles. Ragna Crimson Dragons vs Humanity - a human and a dragon team up to destroy all the dragons. Action fantasy series. Berserk of Gluttony I honestly added this because I thought it was hilarious. Looks like a combo of knock offs - the Gluttony skill from Tensura (reincarnated as a slime) and the mc being called Fate with the main girl who looks exactly like Sabre. I'll be skipping but its' here so you know.

[siconetribal]

Put It On My Tab: Chapter 8

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag: @vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali

Warning: Epiphanies, violence, crime fighting, and staffing issues

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

Sorry about the delay, I wasn't sure on where to go with the story for some time, and health problems started popping up more and more. Things are still hectic, but hopefully manageable.

Personal matters aside, I hope you all continue to enjoy. Thank you for all your support always.

A big shout-out to my friend who is a manager of a facility much like Citlalli. How you handle the various incidents that you do with such grace is inspiring.

A huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, here is a link to the other parts:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

It was moments like these that reminded him of the benefits of wearing his red helmet. The contents of his head remained intact and inside his skull at all times..

  Holy shit, she was the barista at the counter! Red Hood quickly got back up onto his feet, bobbing to dodge a hook before grabbing the bigger guy's sleeve, yanking the guy forward to grab his head. A sickening crunch followed by a cry of pain was satisfaction to the vigilante’s ears. The lumbering giant fell to his knees, holding his face. “It wasn’t that bad,” he scoffed, waiting for his opponent to get back up. The clang of metal was all he heard before watching the crook fall face-first into the pavement. “Now that, that would be pretty bad.” He shrugged, looking up at Nightwing. “You know I had him, right?”

“Is that what you call being plowed into a brick wall? I swear, the lingo of the youth these days.” The elder Robin ran a gloved hand through his hair, looking down at the unconscious bodies littered around. “Two, four, I think that’s all of them.” He nudged his foot into the one on his right, watching the body roll over. 

“Looks like it. Now we just gotta wrap ‘em up and drop ‘em off for the cops.” Red Hood motioned towards the street with his head. “I guess today wasn’t a total waste.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Dammit, I can’t believe I didn’t notice it sooner! This could’ve all been nicely packed and solved, stupid, stupid, stupid! He berated himself as they dragged the culprits to one of the nearby working lamp posts, tying them up. Clearly finding some Jane Doe of Gotham was not as easy as he thought, especially when he looked right at her and failed to realize it. His pride as a detective was bruised to a point that he was not sure if it would ever be restored. No way in hell I’m telling Grayson about that, I’ll really never hear the end of it. He glared at the guy with the broken nose. Once again, he was grateful that he wore a red helmet instead of a domino mask. His red cheeks and peeved expression was hidden to all except for himself as the two wrapped up for the evening.

Y/N lay crumpled and slouched on the old sofa of their apartment, exhausted and defeated. How many weeks had it been since all this started? How many more were left? She had just paid the first installment of the bill, a glorious moment, until she saw the damage to her bank account.

Life’s not fair, I get it, but this is cruel and unusual! She sighed for the umpteenth time, sinking into the old cushions a little deeper. He had to have noticed her, there was no way her attempts at anonymity were successful. Not to mention, he literally caught me falling! Ah, then there’s the stroke of genius Cici had. Really, a victim of Joker laughing gas?  Now he’s really going to think I’m insane and refuse to pay! Then again, maybe he’ll pity me enough and actually pay? He did leave a sizable tip between the two of us. She forced herself to sit up straight and crossed her legs.

“No, get it together! You need to talk to him and explain the situation. I’m sure we can come to a reasonable conclusion through proper discourse! We’re both adults, and he clearly has a savior/hero complex because he did help me at the bar. I’m sure he can be reasoned with when he’s not inebriated or asking a billion questions.” She nodded to herself. “The real issue is how do I find him and prove I’m not some nut case?” Her pursed lips slid side to side as she tried to figure out a method to meet up with him again.

Citlalli had suggested she just turn up at Wayne manor or Wayne Enterprises. It was a tempting option, but with her luck, Y/N had a feeling she was going to be labeled as the new arm candy of the billionaire playboy and that was nothing but trouble. The last thing either of them needed was a horde of paparazzi hounding them or breaking into their rickety apartment and potentially breaking whatever they got their hands on.

Was Bruce Wayne handsome? Yes, there was no denying that. But handsome hardly scratched the “worth it” surface. Just look at where she was stuck now thanks to one of his adopted children. No, good looks did not make things worth it, like Citlalli always said. It only made matters worse. “And triple-y so when a Wayne was involved.” She muttered. “What if he never returns to the coffee shop? It’s been a whole month since then and nada!” She threw her hands up in frustration and slouched on the couch once more. “Doesn’t help that Arkham_Knight has been MIA, too! None of the quests are as fun without him. But he did say he’s going to be out of town or something about no gaming access. I wonder if kicking Wonder Boy’s butt is still on the table if he knew who he was.” It was so very tempting to just give in to the siren call, but she knew better than that. For starters, it would ruin the dynamic between the two of them and one or both of them would end up in jail for attacking a trust fund kid like him.

Her thoughts were broken by the clatter of her phone vibrating on the coffee table. Grabbing the device, she hit the green button on the outdated device. “Hey Cici, what’s up?”

“Hey chica, where are you right now?” 

“At the apartment, sprouting on the couch like a potato, why?”

“Can you help me out, pretty please?” Y/N could hear the batting of her lashes through the phone.

“Hmmm, I dunno, I do have a pretty tight schedule between germination, wallowing in my financial crater, and staring out into the darkness.” Y/N tucked the phone between her shoulder and ear as she made her way into the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Oh, woe is you, so busy.” Citlalli scoffed. “Anyway, I really need your help! I just got word that Ryan had asked Stacy to cover his shift and she agreed. Neither of them confirmed that he would be taking up her shift today, and he's saying that he asked her but never agreed to pick up from her. Yes, it's stupid, and I’m going to have to sit these over privileged brats down and explain to them how swapping shifts work again. But, that's not the point! I need someone in today and I thought you may want to pick up some hours to save up faster. Are you able to?”

“Yeah, ok, I’ll head in. Thanks for the chance, I really appreciate it. You don’t worry your little curly head about this and just enjoy the weekend away with your family. Send me any open shifts, and I’ll cover where I can, cool?”

“Miha, you’re a lifesaver! Thank you so much!” Citllali quickly dissolved into heaps of praises and prayers in Spanish out of sheer relief before she finally hung up the call and texted the information.

Another Saturday night shift left unmanned because why would they honor the hours they said they'd work? Not like I can complain though, I’m hitting overtime now and that means more money for me to get these payments over with. She made her way down the narrow hallway to her bedroom, quickly getting changed into a simple black tee and jeans, with the café apron tucked away into her backpack as she locked up behind herself. 

The shift had started out busy, the store filled with students and professionals burning the night oil fueled by caffeine and pastries. But as the hours slowly ticked by, the number of in-store customers dwindled down alongside the drive-thru patrons. The moon was now up in place of the sun, and no one really dared to be out too late in this part of Gotham. Only the foolish and desperate, like herself, remained at work because the company insisted on a 24-hour shop to help spruce the town.

Did she want to be out here at night? No. Was being at home in the apartment alone any better? No. At least there was surveillance here. Any trouble that could happen would be recording, and she would be safe, sort of. Shrugging off self-preservation, Y/N began to sweep the floors to pass the time. It was better than standing at the counter waiting for no one to come in. It was another dead night, nothing serious was going to happen.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Ok so trying to find my old alien stage x starwars crossover post bc someone asked to see it, but tumblr is acting up again and wont fucking let me find it, BUT I have it saved in my notesapp where I originally wrote it (get fucked tumblr) so were just gonna repost it here!

So yeah, no real context needed Alien Stage x Starwars crossover ft. Till bc he is my favorite.

(this was all written around round 5's release, if I remember correctly)

All I'm saying is that if Palpatine tried that "yes, strike me down, embrace the darkness, let it consume you . . ." shit on Till, Till would go *fuck you old man I'll take that bet* and beat him to death w no regrets then probably write a song about it later

Is your crush since childhood (presumed) dead?? Your childhood friend / rival of sorts confessed his love for you with a desperate, (unwanted) kiss then died at your feet to make sure you survived????

New therapy idea just dropped: beating an old man to death !! Reviews are in and they say it's HIGHLY effective !!!

Who would be funniest for Till to bludgeon to death w a guitar actually? Maul or Ventress are the most likley for him to not only just find out in the wild but in a situation where he can both actually interact w him without getting shot instantly by like, guards nearby and also be, yk, motivated to take that shot by them committing obvious crimes he may take issue with

Palpatine is the most obviously funny one and would solve a lot of problems.

I feel like Dooku would be the out of pocket one actually, a lot of fics leave him either alive or vuagley off screen when it comes to fucking shit up in clone wars era.

I want people to recognize Till actually. I want alien stage to be a morbid fascination for a good portion of the galaxy, maybe the usual do gooders like jedi can't interfere bc its technically legal in the specific corner of the galaxy its hosted in. Something something politics something something the senate doesn't want them to interfere idk. Its in the outer rim I don't think they touch things there all too much anyways

Anyways: Till beats Count Dooku to death with a guitar on live holo and the very first immediate reaction for a chunk of the galaxy is just. Is that. The pop star? I. Is that that one alien stage death game pop star???

Like imagine if you were just some guy living ur life and a pretty ugly looking war is looming overhead but you're doing your best to keep your head down, stay safe, all that. And then you go on twitter and everyone is posting videos of Hannah Montana beating Vladamir Putin to death live on stage with her microphone

And you're like "what the actual fuck" and your friend is like "does this mean the war is off now" and you don't KNOW but damn if all these new Hannah Montana edits everyone is dropping don't go hard as fuck

Till and Anakin would either get along concerningly well or fucking despise eachither. Like it's on sight.

Pick your poison! Is this fics obligatory "small silly reason why Anakin is too busy to be tempted into child murder by Palpatine";

A) he's an alien stage enthusiast and cant miss out on its live streams to meet w the old man sorry Palpatine

Or B) he's too busy programming little droids to start screaming every time Till opens his mouth to speak

"I don't know if Till would actually kill someone " / "Ok but Till is like just a dude. Not even a particularly strong or skilled one. He wouldn't last 2 seconds against a sith or literally anyone with actual training to fight."

Ok counter argument: it'd be funny. Now get back in the basement. I'm trying to cheer on my favorite space pop king as he beats an old man to death

fun scene where he sits in a cantina somewhere, clutching a drink as his own voice and Ivan's play over the radio as they sing Cure. His heart beating faster and faster in his ears till it hits the part where Ivan died and he just hunches in on himself, like if he curls tight enough he can shield the voices from reaching his ears.

He's so fucking depressed and visibly out of it in all the recent videos, I feel like he needs to find something to respark that rage. (Obligator *fuck I can't wait for Luka to try and get a rise out of him in the next round) maybe in this fic that spark is committing violence against the evil elderly who knows

Mmmmm Till sleep walking through the refugee camp, his eyes downcast and shoulders slumped and defeated as he blends in with the crowds of people who've escaped their own situations. Nothing special to see here, nothing special at all. His force presence is quiet and weighed down, hardly even visible if you aren't looking.

He's dissosiating like 80% of the time and that's what let's him get the jump on Dooku, who's probably there to poke at Obi-Wan and was NOT expecting the guitar to the back of his head.

Instant kill !!!! The clones are all pointing making pog faces everyone cheers the galaxy is saved etc. Etc.

[iridescentdove]

Hello!I rlly liked the Elysia fic :D if your requests are open, may I request Herrscher of Sentience or maybe Fu Hua! Reader? (maybe w poe , ranpo , dazai ,yosano and higuchi? Its fine you can do any character you want though!)

Poe, Ranpo, Dazai, Yosano & Higuchi x HoS! Reader

Hiya Anon! And why not HoS mommy. You were once part of the Fire Moth organization about 50,000 years ago in the last civilization. You are one of the few people who survived against the Final Herrscher.

Later you became the guardian of Shenzhou, coming to be known as The Sage and devoting your life to eliminating the Houkai. However ... what if ... the Herrscher of Sentience were to make her comeback?

EDGAR ALLAN POE:

He thinks you are absolutely beautiful, but absolutely terrifying. He's interested in your past and the world you had lived in - it would make for a great novel.

But again, Poe is too nervous to approach you. Hell, even Ranpo wanted nothing to do with you.

So he sucks up the advice ...

But somehow ,, ends up at your doorstep, literally not knowing why he's coming right to you after wimping out. Like ... for the 17th time already.

You're not as bad as you looked, actually. You were pretty nice and tsundere when not trying to destroy the world.

So he found really refreshing, although, thinks you might just do some 360 and end up just fooling him into thinking you were a peacemaker. He's paranoid, okay.

Really like your HoS outfit though. It didn't look like the normal, but again, you were from a different world.

You sometimes talk about your years back in your home.

Poe listens so aggressively, taking down notes which he might be able to use for his own novel.

Most of the time, you guys get along so well. From thw times he's spent with you, you're actually cute. Whenever you get annoyed, you puff your cheeks like a kid.

Totally differemt from when you're pissed- literally all creation might get crushed then and there-

In the moment you were indeed, embodying the path of ruin and destruction, you were ... actually so scary. No one knew what to do.

The Port Mafia was unable to make a choice, in doing so, they'd be destroyed. The ADA ran out of options, no longer sure what to do. The Guild was wimping out lol.

Decay of the Angels? They sure live up to their name! Turned to dust and decay under your very hands! Pun intended

Poe only wishes you come back to him and solving crimes like you always did.

You better make up for it if you do end up admitting defeat because he is shitting tears.

He'll take a bit to get over it but he loves you sm. <3

Kiss him, hug him, literally hog all of his attention for the next few weeks and he'll be so happy about it. Come on now, get your priorities straight.

If you try to ever go on a HoS rampage this bitch fr might just get a heart attack-

"(Y/N) WTF WTF WTF WTF NOT AGAIN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE NOT THIS NOT THIS–" :)

RANPO EDOGAWA:

He literally cannot figure you out lmao so that's a job well done in my book.

Ranpo wouldn't know jack shit in all honesty. You're from a whole different world, possibly even GOD there. Herrscher? Elysian Realm?? ReveRSE CREATION WAIT WHAT

Please give him time to breathe in the information.

Mk but if you like sweets he definitely gonna share some, he's now interested in you.

You gave him odd vibes at first, and in the end he was technically not wrong. Bro knew you were no good since the start but man who is he to judge.

Ranpo and you are ... well, in a way to say it ya'll are dating but never verbally established it??

You guys decided to just start doing it LMAO

Everyone is so surprised. Like, "YOU NEVER TOLD US YOU WERE DATING WHAT?"

In other words you guys are basically acting like you're dating. In which, you are. But ya'll don't even care to officialize it like it is what it is 😭

But that aside, he reaaally thinks he shouldn't be around someone like you ... even if you're together.

He deduces that it will not end in his favor.

And Ranpo was correct. You are out for blood and for the death of their world, in which you don't care about even him when you did that.

He feels betrayed. Super betrayed, a little mad? You guys did so much together and damn repaying him with that.

But he does understand why you're doing it.

That anger may not be centered towards you but instead the others are pissed off mafia be like

Upon the destruction of everything, if you succeed, bad ending it is then. Everyone's dead, the world is decaying and you've made Fyodor happy ...

Except he's rejoicing in hell bc you killed him.

Ranpo looks at you like you were the demon satan itself, so livid and upset about what you've done. Guilty, a little.

If you decide to spare them some slack and don't succeed, well, Ranpo's here for you. Come on now, it's better off this way don't kill everyone wtf

He's the first to go up to you, pouty and wanting you to make up for your mistakes. Cuddle him or else I shoot

He doesn't understand the concepts sometimes, but as long as you're there with him, just eating away sweets and telling him interesting stories of your life, he's all for it.

Would 100% smash in your herrscher form

DAZAI OSAMU:

I can smell the rizz a mile away

Okay, you're actually so chill. He respects that, unlike when you're out in a rage and turning people into Odasaku

You're not free from his teasing. You're like a second Kunikida he messes around with lmao. Except when he pisses you off he's actually running for his life–

"Don't you wanna die though?" "SHE'LL TORTURE ME I HATE PAIN AND SUFFERING"

Has the audacity to hide behind Atsushi. Now both of them are terrified and running while you cutely and respectfully, turn into Herrscher of Senti completely <3

Ends up dating you anyway.

For a bit, he'll take time to trust you because he finds it strange like Ranpo. There's something odd sometimes about your behavior he can't pinpoint himself ...

Ooh wait. So you wanna destroy the world. Ok.

He can understand why from all of his own experience, but wouldn't advise you to do that. It ain't smart of you, bae.

Your powers are actuallu very respected by him. He also finds it pretty and interesting! Will ask you a few questions and compliment you from time to time.

If you tell him stuff about your own world, he'll be somewhat interested in it too. As for how he knew ...

Dazai figures it out pretty easily, although it took a bit of time to realize you weren't from this world.

Not just that too. Basically, a Herrscher could be the same as a literal God. He's not all that scared but you're really full of surprises. He is not taking you lightly, though.

Knows you can literally reverse creation single-handedly.

But he doesn't want that. Come on now, dude wants to die but at least let him achieve the wish of marrying a pretty girl first before that :/

The pretty girl i'm talking about is you. "Belladona! Oh my, dear. Just stop whatever you're doing and return to my arms! I am lonely! So very lonely!"

He's technically not wrong

Everything in his willpower, he and the agency would find the best way to intercept with your plans.

They're here to save people, after all. If there's a full 100% chance they'll die – it won't matter. Push through. Gotta save all those lives before it's too late.

Good luck. Even though Dazai knows you can blow up the world with ur sexy self /j

But think again. If you're good enough a soul to stop your tomfoolery – all's well that ends well. Again, HoS is not evil but simply, a misunderstood individual.

Dazai will understand all of that. Okay? He'll just be glad you didn't turn everyone into toast.

But I guess he'll have to be careful not to piss his bbg off <3

YOSANO AKIKO:

Great job because she's glaring at you literally every time you breathe, talk, or even sleep.

Yosano doesn't trust you at first knowing something's up, and by Ranpo's deduction – she trusts his judgement wholeheartedly and believes you're up to bad.

It would take some time for her to trust you.

After long, possibly a few weeks she'll start to change your mind. You often help around often, and you save their asses everytime with your strange "ability" if it's even one.

You didn't act as bad as you look, and were probably just a big tsundere, mind her.

At the end of the day, Yosano really liked you. AYY bestie takes you out to go shopping and you would pamper each other so much with slight complaining from you

Both of you are great partnered up in missions. You were already strong enough, not needing assistance.

Yosano is just supporting at the back with her healing.

And around the time when you started to grow distant is where she's growing suspicious again. All of that for what? She'll be really uneasy all of a sudden.

Peakaboo :) Guess who :) it's Herrscher of Sentience bitch

Knew she shouldn't have trusted you. But come on now, she obviously knew your times spent together was genuine. Yosano knew you didn't do this because you're evil.

But well, all have their reasons, and you do as well. Will not stand for it and will smack you into sense if necessary.

"GIVE MY (Y/N) BACK" "YOSANO- PUT THE BROOM AWAY-" "YOUR POINT??"

Girlboss saving her girlboss girlfriend.

Will not stand to leave you, literally comes out to go against you even if she knew she'll loose. If there's at least 1% chance you'll come back to her, she'll take it.

Got her chainsaw ready and all. Doesn't want to hurt you, but has no choice to kick ass lol

If you seriously choose to disregard your actions then she'll be so relieved. Atsushi super mega relieved in the corner

Honestly, don't be ashamed. They all understand. Even though some will take time to forgive you. It's not easy to forget things like this.

The agency will gladly let you stay. After all, mommy-

Jokes aside, Yosano is worshipping the ground you walk on and you do that to her in return. Literally two queens that aren't taking bullshit from anybody.

And you guys kiss sjsshj- dammit by bi ass is showing

ICHIYO HIGUCHI:

I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER

Here we go, now it's much more fit. Let's just say they know stories about Herrschers and their existence about being born to destroy humanity.

You were once a normal human like them, but was cheated out of your life but then damn here you are.

A lot were intimidated, everyone probably. You can end the world with all your own hands. Reversing creation as you say, and being in the Port Mafia? HOO WHAT A DAY

Higuchi does admire you the more she learns of you. Really likes your chill personality when you aren't out for blood.

Fr you're just there standing and she's going "🥺"

Like in that episode with Akutagawa and Gin, she misunderstands easily and gets jealous – thinking that you're crushing on Kouyou, dating Chuuya, etc.

Please give this girl some attention. She wants to drown in your presence because you are just so mommy amazing

Whenever you activate your ult she is mesmerized. I mean, sure it's destruction and chaos but Higuchi is down bad for your strength and possibly, beauty.

Would try to train with you to get stronger, to be able to protect Akutagawa.

But hey, why is she spending more time with you than him-

Soon enough you realize she's smitten and probably forgot about Akutagawa's existence. AKUTAGAWA. HER forgetting about HIM?

Damn you are God.

Really tells you to go back on the decision. Think this through, are you really gonna destroy the world? What are you gonna do then?

It's most likely not all fun and games once you've did it. Higuchi is just a worried bbg.

Totally siding with Ranpo on railing you

Again, don't be upset about whatever it is. You aren't evil, basically – it's a misunderstanding. Higuchi sympathizes with you and doesn't hold a grudge.

Now ... kiss kiss fall in love relax and let yourself be loved.

I headcanon her being rescued by you all the time and she's too flustered to even say anything ... with those sparkly ass slow-mow moments as if you're her prince or sumn 💀

[supernovafics]

series masterlist | last part — next part

pairing: modern!actor!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 2.7k words

warnings: asshole!steve, explicit language, mentions of alcohol

summary: somehow your life becomes equivalent to a friday the 13th type of horror movie. there's no serial killer or any murders happening, but the day is full of so many problems that it feels like you'll never get out of this shitstorm

CHAPTER TWO | ❝𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒆❞

It had to have been because of something you’d done in a past life. Perhaps you were a murderer or committed other horrific crimes. 

In your head, that was the only thing that could explain why today had been the shittiest and most hectic day you’d probably ever had. And even though you were only halfway through this godforsaken Friday, you knew that nothing would ever be able to top it. 

You were hit with issue after issue, and when you solved one thing it seemed as if three more popped up. It felt like a fucked up game of whack-a-mole. 

And just when you thought you could finally have somewhat of a breather, you were bombarded by a production intern bawling her eyes out. She had made a mistake earlier that day that she was still feeling pretty emotional about; she put the wrong time on the call sheet for Monday and printed and handed out copies with the typo. It wasn’t that big of a deal or the most detrimental mistake that could’ve been made— in fact, with one quick announcement and some reprints the problem had been fixed— but you could understand why she was upset about it. 

“It’s okay, alright? Please stop crying, Hannah.”

“I’m sorry,” She said with a sniffle. “I just really wanna do a good job and I know I haven't been, and I really don’t wanna get fired.”

You were about to reassure her once again but you were interrupted by a PA tapping your shoulder to grab your attention. 

“Hi, sorry to interrupt, but I have Steve’s lunch order that you asked me to pick up,” He said. 

“No, no, you’re fine. Thank you so much,” You said, actually completely thankful for the interruption. You grabbed the outstretched bag from him and then looked at Hannah again. “You only made one mistake. I promise it’s okay, and you’re not getting fired.” 

She nodded and you gave her one more reassuring smile before you rushed off in the direction of Steve’s trailer, quickly glancing through the bag to make sure that the order was right as you sped walked to the completely other side of the set. 

“You’re late,” Was the first thing he said to you when he opened the door. 

You briefly glanced down at your watch; 12:05pm. You were only five stupid minutes late, but of course he was annoyed at you. “The day has been really hectic and–”

He shook his head at you before you could finish. “I don’t really care.”

There was a lot you wanted to respond back with, but you held it back.

“Got it,” You said instead as you handed him his food and started walking away before he could close the door in your face. 

It had only been two weeks since filming started and it was pretty clear that neither of you liked each other. He definitely didn’t like you, for reasons that you assumed were because he didn’t like anyone and he was somehow physically incapable of being nice. And in return, you decided to just not like him back because you couldn’t care enough to do anything to try and make him like you. Mainly because trying to do so felt like an impossible feat in itself, and also because you quickly came to the decision that he didn’t deserve your genuine niceness. 

Barely a minute after you’d walked away from Steve’s trailer, you were summoned by the lighting department to help handle an issue they were having. It truly seemed as if you would never get a break. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Way too many hours, and a shit ton of more problems to fix later, you were finally home. And after the longest shower ever, you were sitting on the couch in your living room, a bowl of freshly popped popcorn on your coffee table in front of you next to a bottle of wine that was moments away from being opened. 

Your plan was to watch the worst reality TV show you could find and laugh at it until you fell asleep, and you knew that because of how exhausted you were from the day it would probably happen within the hour. And you didn’t even feel the tiniest bit embarrassed that you’d be going to bed before ten o’clock on a Friday night. 

You were only a few minutes into a show called Love on the Mountain and hadn’t even poured your first glass of wine before your phone started ringing. 

A part of you truly wanted to ignore the call because you could only assume that it was work related, and you wanted to hope that whatever it was about could wait until tomorrow, or hopefully even Monday. But, of course, the part of you that could almost never turn your work brain off needed to look at who was calling. 

You regretted it almost immediately when you saw Steve’s name lighting up your screen.  

You wondered why he could possibly be calling you right then, and then as if the universe was simultaneously screaming and laughing at you, you looked around and your eyes immediately landed on the big yellow envelope that contained the script rewrites Steve needed to have sticking out of your tote bag that was sitting on your small dining room table that at most times doubled as a work desk. 

Fuck.

You were supposed to give the script rewrites to him, or at least put them in his trailer before you left for the day, because they were for all of the scenes that were filming on Monday, but it had completely slipped your mind. 

You answered the phone and then shut your eyes. “Sorry, I already know you’re calling about the script rewrites. It completely slipped my mind. When do you want me to give them to you?”

“I would’ve really liked them hours ago,” He said, the annoyance unsurprisingly very clear in his tone.

This was the only time you could actually understand him being annoyed at you, but hearing how pissed he sounded still managed to piss you off just the same. 

You inwardly let out a long breath. “I can bring them now.” 

He didn’t say anything in response to that, and instead hung up. Barely a minute later, your phone pinged with a text from him that was simply his address. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

When you walked into Steve’s apartment building, you were met with the sight of a man standing behind a front desk. It was always easy to tell that you were at an expensive apartment building in LA when the lobby felt eerily similar to a hotel. Your building didn’t even have a lobby; there was just a hallway that led to some insanely small elevators. 

You gave a small wave to the man and then showed the yellow envelope. “Hi, I have this for Steve Harrington.”

The front desk man, whose name tag read James, nodded at you. “Yes, he told me to expect someone coming to bring something for him. You can go right up.”

“Can I just leave this here with you?” You asked because you did not want to have any sort of an interaction with Steve right then; what you really wanted was to get back home. 

“Usually with most packages, yes. But for this, Mr. Harrington told me that he wanted you to bring it up.”

Of course, he did. And you knew the exact reason why he was doing this was so that he could say some sort of shitty comment to you about this mistake you made since he apparently hadn’t done enough of that on the phone before he hung up on you.

“Is there a bathroom I can use first before I head up?”

James gave you an apologetic look. “Sorry, the bathroom in the lobby is for residents only, and management is really strict about that rule.”

“Okay,” You responded with a small sigh. “What floor is Steve on and what’s his apartment number?” 

“He’s at the Penthouse, so you’ll just press PH and his place is the only one up there.”

You nodded at that before heading to the elevators. On the entirety of the ride up to the top floor, you mentally prepared yourself for whatever Steve would say to you, and you also pushed your need to pee far away. 

Your knuckles rapped against his door in three quick knocks and after making you wait for an unbearably long minute— which felt so much longer than just a minute and almost made you think that you’d somehow ended up at the wrong apartment— Steve opened it.

“Here are the script rewrites,” You said and you held out the envelope for him to take. 

“Thank you,” Steve said, his voice unmistakingly condescending, as he grabbed the envelope from you. It was actually kind of fitting that the first time he ever said a “thank you” to you was in a sarcastic way. “Sorry for making you do your job.” 

Apparently, the mental preparation you’d done on the elevator had been no help at all because his words in that moment irritated you more than anything else he had ever said to you. 

You were at your breaking point for dealing with all of his shitty remarks pretty much every day for the past two weeks and giving him nothing back in response. You’d continuously swallowed down everything you had wanted to respond to his comments with, but right then, it was as if every other annoying thing you’d dealt with from the day was bubbling over, and for once you actually couldn’t hold back. 

“Oh yeah, no problem,” You said, easily matching his sarcasm. “I actually did this all on purpose because today has been the absolute worst day ever and I wanted to make it even worse by talking to you right now. Honestly, the perfect way to end this shitty Friday.” 

You almost felt bad for everything you’d said, maybe that outburst was a bit much, but then for the briefest of moments you could’ve sworn that one side of his mouth quirked upward in something that resembled the tiniest of smiles before he simply looked at you with the straightest face you’d ever seen. It was hard to feel bad for what you said when, at least for a millisecond, he seemed somewhat amused by it. 

The two of you stared at each other for a few moments. You expected him to say something in response to your comeback, but he began closing the door instead. Of course, right then was when your need to pee decided to come back. 

“Wait.” You said, placing a hand on the door before he fully closed it. “Can I use your bathroom?”

“No,” He said and then finished shutting the door. 

“Okay, I’m sorry for what I just said,” You said, making your voice loud enough so he could hear you through the door. It was actually a bit easier to apologize without having to look at him. “I shouldn’t have said it.”

His response came barely a second later. “Still no.”

You were so close to letting go, but you knew that you wouldn’t be able to last on the twenty minute drive back to your place, which could potentially be pushed to thirty minutes depending on how terrible LA traffic decided to be right then. Therefore, you knew you had to keep trying. But you also knew that you’d rather pee your pants than beg Steve Harrington for anything, so you weren’t going to say one “please” to him. 

“Come on. The guy in the lobby said that I can’t use the one down there because of some management rule.”

Steve didn’t say anything to that so you decided to continue. 

“If I die of a bladder infection, you’ll get stuck with a random PA as an assistant for the rest of filming, and you’ll probably hate them more than you hate me. Also, if I die I promise I will haunt you so much.” 

It would’ve made sense to assume that he walked away from the door by then, probably to his bedroom or somewhere else far away from where he could potentially hear anything you were saying. But, something told you he was at least still lingering by it. 

“Steve?”

Finally, he decided to say something. “You’re not gonna leave, are you?”

You almost laughed at how annoyed he sounded. “No, so unless you wanna get blamed for me dying outside of your door, you should just let me use your bathroom.”

You heard something that sounded like a cross between a scoff and an actual laugh, and then moments later, the door opened and he let you inside. 

You refused to admire anything about his apartment as you walked in. Not the phenomenal looking kitchen that had a huge white marble island in the center of it. Not the living room area that had a huge television hanging on the wall and an even bigger white couch that looked way too soft and inviting. And definitely not the floor-to-ceiling windows that provided a beautiful view of the city; you could even see the fucking Hollywood sign lit up in the distance.

There was nothing you admired about his apartment. In fact, you kind of hated the place. 

And you were also a huge liar. 

“The guest bathroom is down the hall,” Steve told you. “The door on the left.”

You nodded at that, avoiding eye contact with him because you didn’t want him to see how enamored you were with his apartment; you were sure that it was written all over your face. 

You headed to the bathroom, which for just a guest bathroom seemed way too big, and it simply became another thing that you upsettingly liked about the place. 

After using the bathroom, you looked in the mirror and were quickly reminded that you hadn’t cared to change out of your pajamas before leaving your apartment, so you still had on a pair of black sweatpants and a gray t-shirt from high school that had faded letters and random bleach spots. The only thing you added to your outfit was a zip up hoodie because it was actually a little chilly outside, and you now zipped it up because you felt embarrassed about your shirt, even though Steve had definitely already seen it. 

You finished washing your hands and then left the bathroom. You saw Steve leaning against the kitchen island, already looking at the script you’d given him. 

“Thank you for letting me use your bathroom,” You said as you started heading toward the door. “See you Monday.” 

He only nodded at you and didn’t say anything else before you opened the door and left. 

When you were in your car, your phone pinged with a text from him. 

Steve: Let’s try not to have anymore fuck ups next week, okay?  

You rolled your eyes at his message. 

You: Sorry but I’m already planning to fuck up your coffee order on Monday so yeah…

Steve: Really great joke.  

It was almost too easy to read the text in his usual sarcastic tone. 

You: Not a joke. 

You were close to leaving the conversation there; putting your phone down and ignoring whatever else he’d say to you as you drove home to finally have the night that you wanted to have. However, there was something about him now seeing you as bad at your job because of this one mistake you made that didn’t sit well with you. 

You pressed the call button on his contact name before you could think better of it. 

He answered on the third ring. “What?”

“I always do my job well, by the way,” You told him. “Today was a shitty day and it was actually a bit hard to juggle your shit with the other shit being thrown at me, so the script rewrites completely slipped my mind, and I’m sorry about that. But, it won’t happen again.” 

You expected him to immediately hang up on you like he did with all of your other calls because none of them ever had an actual ending, but he didn’t hang up. Instead, he simply said, “Okay,” and then ended the call. You had a feeling that that was probably the closest you’d ever get to getting any sort of a “goodbye” while on the phone with him.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

next part!

[pastel-rights]

Pick rooms that belong to your current obsession (media) and put your friends in them

Hell.

... juuuuuuuust kidding. /ref

Unfortunately, I don't have just one obsession, I have a group which I rotate in my brain like the lego man in the tumbler, so... I'm sending everyone to their new homes, and if you're unhappy with where you stand, sorry, I do make the rules actually! Who's ready to see their new home?

Let's see... who's first?

...

Issy. Issy! You're first! I'm sending you to... the Hadal Blacksite! Go my Issy, be free, commit crimes, and fight with Sebastian. He owes me a gummylight I WANT it.

You can have Idol's room, as a courtesy even. Free food, fuck the searchlights, nice performances, a tooooooon of stuffed animals, honestly anything comforting you can think of, Idol 's room has it. Pretty neat to be honest.

Only thing is she sleeps on a mattress on the floor but if you can get past that part? 10/10 room.

Satoru? Do I have to? Can't I send him to hell? Pretty please?

No?

Damn. Damn! Ugh, fine uhm. Shit where DO I put his ass? I can't send him to hell, I can't leave him homeless, that just makes ME the asshole.

I'll put him innnnnnnnnnnnnn. theeeee. Hotel from the Inn-Sanity. Yeah! go. go fuck up the priest for me, sweetheart! the wedding can go back on once I'm undoomed by the inn-sanity's narrative. /ref /silly

Saturday can have the room from the first Amanda the Adventurer! Fucking love that game, love myself a good haunted television adventurer. Go, solve the mysteries in my death tapes!

Navi, I'm sending you to into the second Amanda the Adventurer game. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out all the secrets in that game before the monsters find you, no? Teehee. (a threat)

Try not to die too soon, m'kay? /j

Fifi... hmph. I don't know where I can possibly send you without you causing an issue to be honest. So, choose an analog horror from this book, whatever fills your cannibalistic heart with the most bloody joy.

Don't tell me which one you choose though. I don't need to know.

Originally, I was going to give you Lighter's room, but since you want to act like you're a goddamn stalker and serial killer, Taegan Mariah Collins, you can have Ronin's room. Goddamn antichrist actin' ass.

I got a short fuse for fools, don't get arrogant. /lyr

Yuu is going to the murder house hehehehehehehe.

Four... honestly, I can just send you to Octavinelle and call it a day, because you are an eel and whatnot. Eels love water and shit, right?

...

Actually, I think I'll send you to Fontaine, it's probably a nice, better place, more room for you to swim around, more people worthy of being squeezed, it's a pretty sweet deal, no?

Maybe we can go track down some assholes together. Just, don't mind me setting myself on fire. C4 Hu Tao does things to you... shudders.

Klai can have her time in a LGTS/Pocket Mirror themed room. I know, I know, I'm a goddamn saint. Not my personal interest of course, but, I know my cilentle.

Clown... clown clown clown clown clown... can I send them to the circus from Madagascar. Afro circus afro circus afro polka dot polka dot polka dot afro.

Beth! Beth!!! I'm sending you to... Bonnie's Bakery!

Wait. Wait no not Bonnie's Bakery. Not that one.

Cooking Mama, that's the one. Final answer. Go make your silly foods, bestie. I do want a discount though I am hungry. /j

Pins feels like a Home Safety Hotline girlie. If you don't know the game, bestie, go check it out. That game would do WONDERS in Dynathus.

Whatever, go my HSH Pins. /ref Enjoy your new room, the free computer, and the power over every life that calls your hotline, babe. Good luck!

Emma and Al are kind of a package deal, I can't separate them! And if I ever separate them, feel free to kill me actually. Okay well don't actually kill me, dying sounds painful please please please please-

Rooms for them, rooms for them... hmm. I think they'd be fun roommates for a Dollmare themed room or the Inn-Sanity as well. They'd make the horrors real fun real fast, me thinks. I could count on them to have my back in these worlds.

They're fun people, so, their rooms should reflect that.

Me, personally? I think Rina deserves a cute room, something reflecting her fun personality and amazing presence!

I'm sending you back to your FNaF phase. sowwy. You'll forgive me, righttttt? Rightttt????? Righttt!

I think a FNaF Joy of Creation room for Rina would just be... a little silly, teehee!!

Lupi... hmm. Congrats, you're getting an Honkai Impact 3rd themed room, specifically, the Elysium Realm. You now have an in-home bar, ain't that nice?

Orange can have a DHMIS room, I think the vibes fit them perfectly. Fun, colorful, slightly cursed, tons of plotting plans to have, and overall just extremely silly and fun to visit.

Joe. Omori room. All three spaces included. Enough said.

.

.

.

Well, that's it. If I missed you, let me know! This post took forever to think of and make. Teehee.

[snarkylinda]

The thing is- Spencer can still be written as Bi, and it would fit his character almost seamlessly.

Ok so- we all know we were robbed of Bi king Spencer in the original show. Fuck CBS, all my homies hate CBS etc etc- BUT, and even tho we saw most of Spencer's adult life, an late, bisexual awakening would fit him alot actually.

Tara was easy to write as queer due to the fact we saw so little of her personal life on the original show- all we know it's that she was married and had a fiancee, so making her Pan in the revival wasn't that hard to fit in with that. Spencer is the opposite- we know him since he was 23. A babu. And know lots of lil bits and pieces of his childhood and teenage dreams- and we also know he does what he can to fit in.

This is mostly dedicated to his neurodivergent traits- stuff that was mostly the reason why he was so brutally picked on school. But come on- in the community we know what "trying to fit in" means growing.

So we have this kid that grew up on a unstable, sometimes downright hostile environment that went after him for being "unusual"- ofc he would never explore his own sexuality besides "Girls Pretty"- he is literally that "I might be No Binary but I have work tomorrow so I don't have time for that" meme. Boy was furthering his education and taking care of of his mom. He had alot of his plate already. High school/College is when most queer people figure out shit for themselves but, and I quote "I was 12- it was all very confusing". Any chance of having a relationship with a fellow student would be at best weird- at worst literally illegal.

So yeah, time to go solve crimes- his dating and personal life become non-existent. His only girlfriend he didn't even know show she looked until she got murdered and is heavily implied the grief and quilt was there UNTIL THE VERY LAST FUCKING EPISODE- thus stopping him from fully moving on with his life.

Flash forward to now- he is in therapy. He is often encouraged to do stuff out of his confort zone (ie: have a life) and hadn't been with the BAU for what? 3 years? 4?? And his ghost girlfriend told him to pretty much focus on healing and finding himself for once-

So in conclusion, give my boy a boyfriend.

[okiedokrie]

All Is Fair In Love And War Pt.1

Summary: Joshua is nothing if not determined. If he wants something, he'll get it; not that he even had to try before. But sometimes, like Icarus, he flies a little too close to the sun. But hey, all is fair in love and war!

Characters/Pairing: Aphrodite Incarnation!Joshua x Fem!Detective!Very Mortal!Reader

Genre: smut, fluff, crack, angst if you really squint

AUs/Trope Info: Greek God!AU, Partners In Solving Crimes, Strangers to Lovers, "time isnt linear" trope, "holy shit im kind of obsessed with you" trope

Word Count: 3,194 (Full fic is around 10k)

Warnings: Depiction of a crime scene (gore, blood, gun, conspiracy), depiction of drug use, character death (major and minor), smut warnings in the next part

Rating: 18+

A/N: I decided to split this into parts since I'm not confident ill be able to finish this within the deadline, this is part of the The 13 Gods of Olympus: A Seventeen collab hosted by @beomcoups and @wooahaeproductions! This is just the first part, so if you enjoy it, please consider signing up for the taglist. Thank you!!

In the summer of 2000, Joshua Hong was almost five years old. People always commented on how pretty he was for a kid, that he’d surely grow up to be a very handsome man.

Which is why it was a tragedy when he died from a freak truck accident.

Yes, Joshua Hong died at the age of five. For like, 10 minutes.

The doctors called it a miracle - a small child should not have survived a whole six of the twelve truck wheels, but somehow he was resuscitated, much to his parents’ delight.

This incident caused two things to change dramatically - Californetherlands now has stricter trucking laws and Joshua woke up to memories of literally being Aphrodite.

Throughout the years, from that fateful summer day to the present day, Joshua flopped back and forth between believing that the memories were just fever dreams and genuinely considering that he may be a reincarnation of the goddess. But ever since he got to hone his powers, he’s been more inclined to believe the latter.

By the age of 28, he has mastered the art of seduction. No, not sleeping with people constantly. It was more so the art of getting people to say ‘yes’ to everything he asked of them.

This made Joshua a very powerful and influential figure in Los Amsterdam; You see, the way he dealt wasn’t by out-witting people or being richer than them. He dealt in favors. If you wanted to be a popstar, he’d introduce you to a famous producer, and get you a record deal that would solidify your career - all for the low, low price of free.

In turn, you’d owe him, like the many powerful people who owed him large favors.

Joshua found himself in downtown LA, in the club that he owned, just under his penthouse. He enjoyed playing the guitar and performing for his patrons, everyone seemingly captivated by his voice, or his beauty, whichever one caught their attention first. He finally strummed the last chord of his song, enjoying the applause of the crowd as the DJ started to play the usual club music. Just as he was about to retreat to the bar, a feminine voice stopped him.

“Joshua! Hey!” She said, hair bouncing over her new fur coat, jumping excitedly, calling him over.

Joshua smiled widely at her - she was one of the people he had helped start her career as a singer. He didn’t do much other than introduce her to the CEO of her current label, it was her natural talent that got her this far.

“Ah, Diana, good to see you!” He said, going over to meet her in a friendly hug, the kind that didn’t touch at all. “How has being a singer treated you? Any good news?” He said, making small talk with an old acquaintance.

“Oh please,” she started, her new haughty attitude showing, “It’s all over the news! I just got nominated for a Grammy!” She said in a sing-song tone. Joshua just nodded Truth be told, he didn’t really have much interest in pop music, but he did try to match her enthusiasm.

“That’s great! I knew you’d make it big.” he said, remembering the first time she came to him, a girl in clothes that almost looked like rags, now decked out in every designer brand you could think of. “So, what brings you back here then? Surely you already have everything you ever wanted?” He said lightheartedly. Even if all of Joshua’s connections owed him favors, it was quite uncommon for them to come back to him after having achieved their dreams.

“Well,” She said, her old, meek bashfulness coming to the surface. “I just wanted to see you again, to thank you for what you have done for me.” She tucked a hair behind her ear. “And I know no matter what favor I do for you in return, I could never break even for just how much you’ve impacted my life. So, thank you, Joshua.”

Joshua genuinely felt relieved to hear her say that - usually, people’s pride and greed got in the way of them acknowledging those who truly helped them along the way, but as he suspected, this girl still had a soul so pure. “Let's get some drinks by the bar and chat some more, yeah? My treat.” He offered, which she gladly took, the conversation between them flowed naturally, Joshua enjoying her tales of success.

It was an hour after the club closed that Diana decided it was time to head home. Joshua offered to see her off, like the gentleman he was, and so they walked to the sidewalk, her hand around his arm.

Joshua opened the taxi door for her, offering her a few bills in cash to cover the fare, “It was nice seeing you again, hopefully, you’ll make time to catch up with me in the future.” he said through the taxi window.

“Yeah, I hope I get the chance to see you again soon. Goodnight Joshua.” She said as she rolled up the taxi window.

Joshua watched the taxi drive until the end of the block, and everything seemed to be going smoothly. Then, another car intercepted her in the intersection.

It happened so quickly, too quickly for Joshua to even register the new car’s window sliding down, holding a gun out to the taxi Diana was in. Gunshots echoed through the street, the sound of tires popping and glass shattering but all Joshua could make out was the sound of two sets of four tires screeching against the concrete. Diana’s taxi collided with a nearby lamppost, the taxi flattening and curling around it.

That was the last time Joshua saw her alive.

It was all over the news “Beloved Grammy-nominated rising star, Undyne, passed at a downtown intersection in a successful assassination.” Headlines went crazy with her story, telling her life before her short-lived success as a pop star.

The police were on her case, and the street cameras identified a black car with a non-existent plate number. they couldn’t find the people who owned it, but they did have enough evidence to call it a homicide.

Joshua, being close to the scene at the time when it happened, was one of the key witnesses to the whole case.

Currently, Joshua is in the waiting area of the police station, waiting for the detective on the case to lead him to the interrogation room where he will give his statements. He was just mindlessly scrolling through his phone when a voice snapped him out of it.

“Mr. Hong? Correct?” One of the officers asked him. He nodded to confirm it, repeating his full name. The officer just nodded too, “Okay, please follow me. Detective L/n will be there to ask a few questions.” He turned to the direction of the interrogation room, Joshua trailing behind him quietly.

The officer stopped in front of a door, “Here we are, just head on in.” He said, nodding at him. He walked into the interrogation room, the chilly air making goosebumps rise on the surface of his skin, the thin cardigan he wore did nothing to shield him from the cold. He took a seat at the chair facing the door, poking at the cold metal table as he waited.

“Good Morning Mr. Hong, I’m Detective L/n. I’m here to ask you a few questions, everything said here will be transcribed as evidence for this case, do you consent to this?” You started, taking the seat in front of him, your tone was very professional, as he expected, you didn’t even bother with pleasantries other than introducing yourself, which didn’t bother Joshua. He confirms his consent verbally, politely smiling at you with his hands clasped over the table.

“Great, I’d like to ask a few questions about you first.” You said, taking out your folder for the case, “You’re Joshua Hong, born on the 30th of December, 1995. You own the club downtown where your place of residence is also. Is all of that correct?” Joshua confirms all of the information is correct.

“You can just call me Joshua, by the way, Mr. Hong makes it seem like I’m someone important.” He said bashfully, scratching the back of his neck.

You just nod, writing something down in your notebook, “What was your relationship with Diana Kamatayan?” You asked, reviewing the official file which states that she is one of Joshua’s ‘clients’.

You were well aware of how the king of Los Amsterdam does his business, favors for favors. That’s how he got this far, and if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, he’ll take away everything he gave you. You knew asking for Joshua’s help would make this investigation go quicker, but that would mean you’d owe him.

Owing Joshua Hong anything is a dangerous position to be in.

So while you have him in this interrogation room, you’re going to try to milk every bit of information out of him while it’s free.

“Well,” he started, getting comfortable in his seat, “She was one of my clients, I’m sure your file on me already knew that. Other than a professional relationship, I don’t really have one with her. That night was the first time I’ve seen her in a little over a year, actually.”

You nod, the timeline matches up, “And why did you meet her that night?” You ask next, trying to get more out of the nature of this last meeting.

“She approached me while I was in my nightclub. I was just about to turn in for the night when she came up to me to catch up. She thanked me for introducing her to a producer and wanted to catch up.”

Joshua really wasn't giving any information for free, as the interrogation went on you could only collect information you already knew. He didn't reveal any more than a simple google search did.

You drop your file folder onto the table, where Joshua's posture remained calm, cool, collected across from you, the small, charming smile still on his face.

“Did you get what you needed, Detective?” Joshua asks politely, tilting his head with his query.

“All I got was everything we already knew.” You sighed, rolling your shoulders in your seat. You turn in your seat, facing Joshua head-on once more. “Joshua, you are one of the most powerful and influential men in Los Amsterdam. We need your help in solving this case. All our leads have gone cold. We need your connections.”

Joshua smirked, the only time his expression changed from the relaxed and polite smile he had for the rest of the interview. His posture relaxed, leaning forward over the table, he placed his palms down on the cool metal surface, and said, “You do know what that would mean, right? The price you’d have to pay?”

You nodded, “I know all too well.”

“Asking me for a favor would mean that you’d owe me, do you think you can afford to pay that price?” He raised his eyebrows, you’d think your eyes deceive you when his irises glowed a soft gold—tilting his head in an almost teasing manner, taunting you.

Your breath hitched as you looked back at the one-way glass, knowing your co-workers were watching every detail of this interaction. “I promise I’ll deliver what I owe you. Just- please help us.” You said, not being able to look at him directly in the eyes.

He straightens his back once more, his polite smile returning to his face. “It’s settled then, I look forward to working with you Miss.”

Driving through the streets of a somewhat more affluent neighborhood, you stop in front of a well-known party den. There are plenty in Los Amsterdam, but this one was popular because of their ‘free-love’ policy.

Essentially, if you want to fuck, every surface is available to borrow for the duration.

You don’t look forward to entering the den, especially since you don’t know which surfaces are good to touch, but your partner beside you seems to be relaxed and content to visit such a place.

“God, I haven’t seen Jackson in forever. I hope he’s still having the time of his life here.” Joshua said with his bright eye-smile. You turn back to him, eyebrows furrowing in disgust. How could he find a place like this enjoyable? You don’t understand how the minds of party-goers work.

“Okay, how exactly is visiting a party den supposed to help with our investigation?” You finally ask him, he refused to elaborate on how relevant this location was when you met up with hiim, or during the entire car ride to said location.

“Well, Jackson still owes me, and he’s Diane’s ex’s first producer. If there’s anyone with a motive to get her killed, it’s her ex. I asked him to get Johnny drunk enough to pass out in one place. Now you have the perfect stage to corner and investigate him!” He said, with a smile on his face as if his plan didn’t just open up a whole new can of worms for you.

“You do know it’s illegal for me to just interrogate him without a warrant right? He might lawyer up if he figures out we’re onto him.” You said running a hand through your hair.

“Which is why I got you this,” he pulls out a skimpy party dress and matching heels from his duffle bag, “We blend in with the party-goers, that way you’re not interrogating him, you’re just having a conversation.”

“Joshua Hong you are insane.” You said, tone raising, “I’m not walking into a sex den looking like a hooker!”

“Don’t worry, we’re just trying not to stand out, please, just trust me.” He said handing the outfit over to you. You think over his words, it would be wise not to draw too much attention to yourself. If you made it obvious that you were a cop you’d have to resort to improvising.

You were never good at improvising.

Joshua gave you the decency to turn away while you changed, he was already in his usual relaxed suit that already made him look like a pimp, so he was already dressed for the occasion.

You both step out of the car, your heels clacking on the pavement below you. How Joshua managed to find your shoe size is in itself impressive, but you don’t have the time to dwell on that.

You both enter the bustling house filled to the brim with people indulging in their vices, whether it was alcohol, drugs, the ‘free-love’. It was a mess of bodies and fluids that you’d rather not inspect closely.

Joshua expertly weaved through the crowd, parting it like Moses did to the red sea. He didn’t have any difficulty locating Jackson Wang, the host of these parties.

“Jackson!” Joshua called out, the man was sitting in one of the many loveseats, a can of beer in hand and two ladies under his arms, giggling and getting very comfortable with him.

Jackson squints over the flashing lights, eyes widening in recognition after seeing Joshua. “Joshua! My man! Glad you finally made it! Got to say though, that favor of yours was an odd one. But you’ll be able to find him in my room. You know the way.” He waves him off, resuming to talking to the women clinging onto him.

You follow after Joshua, quickly climbing a few sets of stairs to get to the third floor, the entirety of the third floor was just Jackson’s room. He made sure to lock the door behind the both of you when you guys arrived.

The floor was far quieter than the floors below you, and less of a mess than them too. This room felt like Jackson’s actual home, and not like a party den.

Joshua spots Johnny stumbling around the room, nursing a liquor bottle- a few of them.

“Joshua we can’t interrogate him when he’s like this, he can barely even stand!” You said, waving your arms in front of you to point at the inebriated man.

“That’s not a problem, watch this.” Joshua takes long and purposeful strides toward him, once he finally reaches him, he takes his face in his hands and stares directly into his eyes.

You watch in awe and slight confusion, until Joshua speaks up, “You want to tell us everything we want to know, and you will be sober as a priest while you do so.”

Suddenly the haziness in Johnny’s eyes faded in an instant, his brown eyes now have a golden ring around the irises, like a puppet on a string.

“What did you need to know?” Johnny says, no longer under the influence of alcohol.

“Joshua, what did you do to him?” You ask in slight horror.

“Nothing illegal, don’t worry about it.” He said, “Continue your questioning on him, detective, if we spend any more time here Jackson’s gonna think we’re having sex here.”

Not wasting any more time you ask Johnny, “Are you aware that Diane Kamatayan had been assassinated? Do you know any information about that?” Johnny squints before his eyes widen in recognition, “Diane, yeah, her, we dated a bit. I was obsessed with her. But she broke it off when she got big. Yeah, I’m pissed, but instead of doing anything healthy with my time I just chose to shit-talk her on Twitter and drown in alcohol. When I heard the news about her passing, I lost it, went straight here where Jackson just kept handing me bottle after bottle with no questions.”

You look at Joshua, raising an eyebrow, not much of a motive if he didn’t even contact her directly in the entire duration of their time as exes.

You shake your head, back to square one then.

“It didn’t help that she started dating the old geezer of a producer of hers.” Johnny said, eyebrows furrowing in frustration, “That whore, she probably got big because that sleaze of a producer gave her banger after banger for sucking his dick or something, tch.” he said, clicking his tongue and crossing his arms.

“I’m pretty sure it was him who killed her too.”

You and Joshua look at each other in shock, eyes meeting for a second, almost as if communicating telepathically.

“Why do you think that?” You ask, cautious around the increasingly irritated Johnny.

“He’s always been a greedy bastard, worked with him before. Wanted to claim all the royalties of my song, so I sued him. Pretty sure he got threatened by how rich Diane was getting for that hit.” Johnny spat, distaste seeping into every word he said, “Now Diane is dead, and the bastard is getting married to some Slavic model, most likely cashing in all those royalty cheques.”

You and Joshua nod at each other. Joshua snaps his fingers, it’s almost as if snipping a puppet off its strings, the glow around Johhny’s eyes dims and disappears, suddenly slumping over the seat, stumbling drunkenly like he did when you found him.

“Okay, we have a lead.”

[whaledenwtf]

Astarion x Reader - In the Candle Light

I'm OBSESSED with Baldur's Gate 3. Between Astarion and Halsin I can't choose, so I'm writing both and then will write a threesome fanfic soon!! All my Baldur's Gate 3 fanfics will be uploaded on Tumblr and AO3 so you guys can download them! Thanks for all the love on the Halsin fic <3 Here's the links for the Halsin Fanfic: Tumblr || AO3 The AO3 upload for the Astarion Fanfic: AO3 LINK

Warnings: afab!reader and Male Smut, Oral (Male Receiving), Praise Kink, Biting, Blood, Body Worship (Male Receiving), Angst and Fluff (Astarion deserves the world and I will give it to him)

I was pretty good at writing Astarion in the Halsin fic, so I tried to keep that energy here, but he is significantly softer. I don't normally write angst but I felt it fit with Astarion. His personality is fractured between a mask and his pain, and I felt that the complexity of his character (and his trauma) deserved to be explored. What was supposed to be a smutfest became something so soft and gentle that I couldn't help but tear up while writing it. I hope you guys enjoy this!!

WORD COUNT: 5624

Despite the tadpole in your brain, that was the least of your concerns. Your ragtag group has been bringing their problems to you. Since you became the leader in this journey to deciphering your illithid problem, everyone has come to you to solve their own problems. You love your companions, but holy shit, you're one person.

Well, maybe two if you counted the little bastard wriggling in your brain.

"As I was saying, there is not enough of anything for me to feed off." Astarion tells you, annoyed at your lack of attention. You roll your eyes.

"Alright, alright. You can have my blood tonight. Will that shut you up?" You can't help but be rude to the vampire. He was the fourth person today to ask you for something. You already accidentally gave Gale a valuable artifact to absorb, the wrong artifact; Karlach had accidentally burned your arm when her flames went out of control and then Shadowheart and you had gotten in a fight over her Shar worship. You didn't expect to be travelling with a group of overgrown toddlers, but here you are.

"Easy there tiger, don't need to get mad at me." Astarion tells you, wide eyed. You sigh, rubbing your temples. You feel guilty, you do. Today has just been testing your very limited patience.

"I'm sorry Astarion. I'm just exhausted, and everyone keeps coming to me for their problems." You move your hands to cover your eyes, rubbing them with the palms of your hands. He is silent next to you. He... does feel bad for you. He's been watching you struggle with everyone's burdens, especially since you had been also helping them alongside the tadpole issue.

"Darling, you gotta tell them to leave you alone." You whimper at his words, shaking your head.

"These people need me Astarion, how can I tell them off?" He scoffs.

"Like this: Hello, kindly fuck off." You take your hands off of your eyes and look at him with a smile on your face.

"It isn't that easy." Astarion shrugs.

"It can be." You giggle.

"Yeah?" He looks at you with a smirk.

"Of course, it would never work on me. I know I'm your favourite." You smile, looking down.

"What if Halsin is my favourite?" You both glance over the tall elf. He is playing with Scratch, petting him as he sits in his corner of the camp. Astarion scoffs.

"The tree hugger? Darling, come on. Look at me-" He stands up and gives you a twirl, before bowing in front of you. "I'm marvelous!" You blush, chuckling.

"Maybe I like big beefy elves who carry me out of danger!" That was a lie. Halsin was certainly attractive, but your attentions have always been held by the sarcastic vampire next to you.

"I can carry you out of danger sweetheart, just ask." He tells you huskily. You blush again.

"Would you now?" You ask him coyly, looking up at him. He smirks before holding your chin.

"Of course. You're my partner in crime, darling." You smile at his words. He's not wrong. You've spent the most time with Astarion. He has enthralled you since his dagger was held against your pulse point. Your conversation is cut off when Wyll walks up to you sheepishly. You can feel dread crawl up your spine.

"Sorry to bother you (Y/N), but I'm having a problem-" Astarion cuts him off with an eyeroll.

"I'm sure a big boy like you can deal with it." Wyll's jaw drops open.

"I-" Astarion cuts him off again, frustrating the human turned fiend.

"Look at her, Wyll. She's dealing with all of your guys' shit. Give her a break." Wyll scrutinizes him.

"And not yours?" Astarion scoffs.

"What shit? I'm perfect." Wyll rolls his eye.

"Right. Well, I'm sorry for bothering you (Y/N)." He does sound apologetic, turning to glare at Astarion before turning away. You look up at Astarion.

"Thank you." You whisper to him, before giving him a big hug. His body goes rigid. You let go of him and walk off towards Halsin, needing some very needed puppy cuddles from Scratch. Astarion stays in place, the shock rooting him in place.

He can't remember a time in his undead life that people showed real love to the vampire. The last two hundred years of his life have been riddled with suffering and torment. But you! You have not stopped showering him in love and respect. He craves it now, craves your love and attention. He can't help but want to always be near you. He can't help but feel jealous of Halsin. He watches you laughing with the gargantuan elf as you pet Scratch, and bristles. He turns and walks towards his tent, upset. How could he compete with someone who could walk in the sun? Someone who can love freely, and so openly? He was tired. 200 years of living in the shadows, only to find freedom and then once again not feel good enough. His feelings are brewing up a storm of conflict in his head. You were useful to him, his ticket to eternal freedom, but furthermore you were important to him. You made him feel things he hasn't felt in a long time; if he was honest with himself, he doesn't remember the last time he felt such adoration for someone else. He hides in his tent for the majority of the night, brooding.

Your conversation with Halsin was extensive, talking about nature and his worship of Silvanus. It was refreshing to speak to someone about something other than their problems.

Halsin hugs you tightly. "Have a good night, little one." He kisses your forehead before heading to his tent.

By the time you ended your conversation, it was late in the night and most of your companions were sleeping. You decide to go check in on your resident vampire. You walk to his tent, where the flap is closed.

"Astarion." You whisper from the entrance. Not a moment later, he opens up the tent.

"Oh, so you're done with the tree hugger?" He asks annoyed. You giggle into your hand, trying to muffle the sound as to not wake the others. He smirks at that. He may not be as tall or buff as the druid, but he can always make you laugh. Astarion: 1 Halsin: 0, he thinks to himself.

"Yes I am. May I come in?" You ask him sweetly. He nods, lifting the flap of his tent so you can get in.

"You know darling, you're not a vampire. You can come into my tent anytime." He tells you charmingly. You blush softly at the tone of his voice. Always the charmer.

"I know that. I just don't want to intrude on your alone time." You always said these things, such caring things. You cared about his privacy and autonomy, and his undead heart sung your praises.

"You can never intrude." He says quietly. Truthfully. You smile at him, and he basks in its radiance. If he had the opportunity to continue Cazador's ritual, he's not sure he would. Despite his want to walk in the sun again, he wouldn't need sunlight if he had you by his side. Your brightness rivals the sun and all the stars in the sky.

"I appreciate you saying that, little star." That was his favourite nickname you gave him. Little star. You made him feel special; worth it. He chuckles.

"I'm not that little." He tells you huskily. You blush at his words. If he could have the image of you blushing at his words embedded in his brain, he would. At least it would be better than the bastard parasite that's currently taken his body captive. Always the captive.

He gets this far away look, which worries you. You are the only one who notices these looks, and it always upsets you. Despite not knowing much about Astarion's past, you know it was dark and painful. You put a hand on his arm and he flinches. You back away concerned. He clears his throat before speaking.

"Sorry darling." He sounded so vulnerable, your heart ached. Every beat of your heart was hammering in your chest, yearning for him; yearning to protect him. From Cazador, from his past.

"You don't need to apologize to me, Astarion. I shouldn't have touched you like that without your permission." His chest hurts. He'll never be normal.

"You did nothing wrong, sweetheart." He wishes you could understand how perfect you truly are. His eyebrows furrow. You step closer, cautiously.

"May... May I hug you?" Your voice is hardly above a whisper. His eyes get misty, and he nods. You rush forward, gripping him tightly. Slowly, his arms going around you. Your head leans on his chest, feeling sadness as you do not hear his heart beat. As the hug continues, he leans his head onto yours, just... holding you. As he inhales, he can smell Halsin on you. His heart breaks again.

"I may not know your past, but I'm here for you little star." You tell him quietly. If his heart could beat, it would have sped up. He felt your care for him, but he couldn't help his mind from racing. What if you did learn his past? You would not regard him as highly as you do. A single tear falls from his eyes, and then a couple more. You felt the dampness on your hair, and you hugged him tighter.

"You're too good to me." He whispers, his voice cracking. Your heart shatters again. You are filled with such hurt, such anger, that he is broken. You can't wait to crush Cazador's skull with your boots. You pull away, and see the heartbroken look in his eyes. His hands go back to his sides, clenching tightly, as if he was trying to hold himself together. His tears continue to fall, even though he tries to will them away. He doesn't want you to think of him as weak. You gently put your hand on his cheek, and he savours the feel of your soft palms against his skin. Your thumb goes to wipe his tears.

"Oh Astarion. You deserve so much better." Your eyes well with unfallen tears, his pain becoming yours. He shakes his head.

"If you knew what I have done, the people I have hurt, you would never think of me the same." You continue to wipe his tears with your thumb, looking at him with love.

"Little star... I don't care for your past actions. Who you are today, in front of me is what matters. You deserve the world, and have been forsaken by it. I can never think of you poorly. I- I care about you too much." The confession slips from your lips, and you accept the repercussions. You know that if he doesn't return or want your affections, you would still help him find himself; his purpose. You loved him enough to sacrifice your happiness for his, possibly your entire being.

"Oh darling." He whispers, his hands moving to cup your face. You lean into his touch, eyes closing. Without thinking, he rests his forehead against yours, basking in your presence.

"If you don't feel the same way, I am okay with that. I will still be by your side- if you want me to be. I just want to take your burdens on my shoulders. I want to help you find your purpose; find yourself." Your eyes open to look at his ruby eyes. The shined so beautifully in the candlelight. You try to commit him to memory. You don't know if your mind's eye can fully capture his beauty or his being, but you know you would spend the rest of your life trying.

"What more could I want than what's in front of me?" He whispers softly, before pushing his lips to yours. It wasn't just a regular kiss. Despite its innocent nature, it was a lover's embrace, a connection between two souls. Your love for each other was boundless; but for just a moment, a sweet and tender moment, you felt it and its overwhelming power. You both pull away, breathless. You look into his eyes with such adoration, he can't believe how he had never noticed before. Despite being a rogue, it was you that stole his heart and took it as your own.

"I love you, little star." His eyes widen at your confession.

"I-darling-" He is stunned, your words locking him in place as if you had casted Hold Person and Silence at the same time.

"You do not need to say it now, nor ever. I just wanted you to know I will always-always care for you. In the darkest corners of Faerûn my heart will sing for you. I cannot fathom a world where we didn't meet, and my heart shatters when I see your pain. Let me carry your burdens, Astarion." You tell him passionately. He kisses you again, teeth clashing against each other. You hold him to you, with promise of never letting go. When you pull away, you can see the softness in his eyes.

"Even in the darkest corners of Faerûn? That's where I'll be, darling." You giggle. He smiles widely. You brush a curl behind his ear, before smiling brightly once more.

"You're so beautiful like this; when you are happy." He looks away from you, blushing.

"Now you're just flirting, darling." You bite your lip, looking at the blush on his cheeks.

"So what if I am? Can't I tell the man I love that I find him beautiful?" His heart sings again. Hearing you say that you loved him brought him such comfort, such relief that he felt as though he had sprouted wings and flew into the heavens.

"If you continue my ego will grow." He says, turning back to look at you. You roll your eyes.

"Can't have that happen, can we?" He chuckles at your sarcasm. You pull away from him, before taking a seat on his bedroll and patting the spot next to you. He sits, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"So... now what?" He asks you. Astarion never felt so unsure of what to do. He was always 10 steps ahead, and this uncertainty made him uncomfortable and concerned. You lean your head on his shoulder. He leans his head against yours, closing his eyes.

"Let us enjoy each others' presence. We don't need to speak. I just... want to relish this moment with you." You tell him softly. He's never had someone in his bedroll without ulterior motive. This felt like a new chapter in his life. A chapter where you are the main object of his affections, and one where he can put the past behind him- or at least try. He felt rejuvenated, and he smiles, eyes still closed.

"Enjoy each others' presence? I like the sound of that, darling." The rest of the night is silent, occasionally broken by soft conversation with tender words. At one point, you fall asleep on his shoulder. He has never felt so safe. He tucks you into his bedroll, before moving to sit in the corner of his tent. Before he could, your hand grips his.

"Please, stay." You ask softly, eyes open lightly. He nods, before tucking himself into the bedroll. You don't change your position, holding his hand. He curls his fingers to link with yours, and you spend the night innocently holding his hand, fingers linked.

He closes his eyes and lets himself fall into his meditative state, feeling safe and loved.

The next day was not as stressful as the day before. Karlach had already apologized the day before, but she came to you with Clive and told you that you could hug him and pretend it was her hugging you. You were so touched, that you shook your head and told her "when we fix your engine, I will give you a hug that rivals Clive's." And she cried happily nodding. Shadowheart apologized for her outburst, and spoke about her past, and how Shar was all she knew. You nodded, rubbing her arm and telling her you forgive her. And Gale! Gale felt so awful absorbing the wrong artifact that he gave you some of his most prized spell scrolls as an apology.

You decided that everyone deserved a rest day, and they were all grateful for the reprieve. Everyone moved around camp, hanging out with another or doing their hobbies. You spend the morning playing with Scratch and looking at the map, deciding where to venture for the next day. Halsin walks up to you, smiling.

"Hello little one." You smile at him.

"Hi Halsin." You tell him. Astarion hides from behind a bush, eavesdropping on your conversation.

"I wanted to speak to you about something of a more... private matter." He tells you, biting his lip. You turn your head left and right, before leaning in.

"Is everything okay?" He chuckles, nodding.

"Excuse my forwardness, but I can't go on another day without telling you this. Your beauty and radiance rivals that of nature, and I was wondering if you would spend the night with me underneath the stars?" You blush, eyes bulging and mouth wide open. Astarion shakes with fury. For once, for once, he had someone who cared about him. Now she'll be taken away by some-some bear! The poetic tone of his words was beautiful, Astarion admits. Astarion: 1 Halsin: 1, he thinks sulkily. He leans further into the bush, trying to listen to your answer.

"Halsin! I never expected you to feel such a way about me. I'm shocked." Astarion bites his lip, frowning. His anxiety skyrockets. What will he do?

"Of course, little one. Your beauty is captivating. Not just your body, but your soul and mind. I'm truly enamoured." Fuck him and his Parnassian speech. Astarion: 1 Halsin: 2... Asshole, he thinks to himself.

"Oh Halsin. I'm honoured you think of me so. As much as I enjoy you and your presence, my heart is with another. I'm afraid I can't pursue anything knowing my love lies elsewhere. I'm sorry." Astarion's eyes widen. Of course, you told him you loved him last night, but what if you were just trying to be nice? What if you loved another? Before he could spiral, he hears Halsin hum.

"Nature's love is all encompassing, but I understand if you would not want to pursue multiple relationships. Is the one who holds your heart Astarion?" Astarion shuffles even further into the bush, almost falling out into the open. He sees Scratch come close to sniff the bush. He shoos him away, trying to focus on the conversation.

"Yes, he is. I love him more than I love myself, if I am honest. I cannot imagine a world where I would not chase him to the ends of the realms." Astarion's eyes widen. It was him! He was the one who made you feel such a way. Of course, he knew your words last night were honest, but he was never sure someone could be so certain in their affections; especially when they involved him. His heart soared, and he smiled so wide that his cheeks hurt.

"Ah. I can understand how I can not fit in the equation. Your heart is bound to him and his nature. I can't help but feel jealous that he is the object of your affections. However, I am glad you found joy in another. Thank you for telling me the truth. May the Oakfather protect you both and your love." You smile at the gentle giant, before hugging him.

"Thank you Halsin. For what it's worth, I know for certainty you will succeed with expelling the Shadow Curse and find love- or multiple loves." You both laugh at your words, and he walks away, waving at you before going back to his tent. You hear shuffling and a bark before Astarion appears in your view. You smile at him softly.

"Hi little star." He walks up to you and hugs you tightly. You stand for a moment, shocked, before hugging him back.

"Is everything okay?" You ask him quietly. He hums.

"I... overheard your conversation with Halsin." You giggle quietly.

"Overheard? I knew you were eavesdropping Astarion." He backs away, acting shocked.

"Eavesdropping? Darling I would never!" Lae'zel cuts him off from her tent, sharpening her weapons.

"He was hiding in the bush." Astarion gives her an icy glare, and she smirks at the sour look on his face. He turns to look back at you, pouting. You put your hands on your hips and grin at him.

"Innocent until proven guilty, sweetheart." You chuckle. Before he could speak you cut him off, wide eyed.

"I forgot I said you could feed on me yesterday-" You slap your palm on your forehead. "I'm so stupid! You'll feed on me tonight, right?" Astarion hums, smiling.

"An offer I certainly cannot refuse. Can't wait, sweetheart." You blush at his words, looking down. His hand rubs up and down your arm before he walks back to his tent. Lae'zel chuckles at your blush, so you turn to stick your tongue out at her.

The sun had set, bellies have been filled and Gale's telling a wonderous tale about his time in Waterdeep. While everyone is distracted, you walk to Astarion's tent, a path you are intimately familiar with.

"May I come in?" You whisper at the tent flap, waiting for him. He walks out, grabbing your hand. You blush at the contact, you can't help it.

"Once again darling, you are always welcome." He pulls you in gently. Once in the privacy of his tent, he kisses you softly, like a lover. When you pull apart, you look at him starry eyed.

"Wow." He chuckles at your dumbfoundness.

"You're not the first to say so. Continue the flattery~" You slap him in his chest gently, before laying your hand on him.

"Little star, that sarcastic lilt will get you in trouble one day." He smirks.

"Hopefully you'll be the one punishing me, darling." You blush. Your skin feels hot, and you can't help the images he's putting in your mind. When you are quiet for a moment too long, he chuckles.

"Are you thinking about it darling? You punishing me?" You smirk up at him, blush subsiding.

"I'm only imagining you under me, begging for more, little star." His eyes widen, and he swallows. You grin at his reaction.

"I-well. Didn't know this kitty had claws..." Astarion says, nervous. He'd never heard you reply in such a way, and it was affecting him. He couldn't help it, the idea of you and your love enveloping him in a lovers embrace... he has been hurting for so long, but to have another care for him is enticing. Imagining the amalgamation of that love with you, under him... or on top, as you said; it fills him with excitement and desire.

"I just want to show you how much I care, sweet one. Take your burdens from you, to hold you.... Astarion I love you. I always will." His eyes get misty, but he successfully wills his tears away. He wants you, so much. More than anything in his life... possibly more than eradicating Cazador from Faerûn.

"What is stopping you?" He asks quietly. His hands find themselves on the sides of your head, holding you. His thumbs caress your cheeks. Your eyes close gently, lashes fluttering.

"I want you to feel my love and feel safe. I want to explore us... you... at your pace little star." You tell him truthfully. He couldn't imagine himself loving you more, but you have done it. It must be unnatural how light his soul feels hearing those words.

"Please explore what you'd like." He whispers into your ear sensually. You open your eyes, gazes locked. You look into his red orbs, noticing the small specks of burgundy in his eyes.

"Astarion, are you sure? I do not want you feeling pressured for the sake of my pleasure. I could wait a thousand years and would not regret a single moment." He kisses you, pulling you down so you are both kneeling on his bedroll.

"You make everything so easy. The most impossible tasks seem possible. I want to love you, hold you. (Y/N), I want you. Body and Soul." You seat yourself on his lap, and his arms wrap around your waist. You kiss him on the lips, tongue asking for entrance. He allows you, and your tongues softly roll against each other. You take and give, and he does the same. Like the tide, you push and pull. You draw your kisses away from his lips, before kissing down his cheek, then reaching his neck, giving it extra attention. He moans quietly at your ministrations. You begin to grind on him softly, your body touching his like a whisper. He whimpers when you kiss him on his bite.

"My sweet Astarion." You say against his skin, and he shivers. You pull away, smiling.

"May I undress you?" His tongue feels like lead, so he nods. You hum, pulling off his nightshirt. Your hands caress his muscles and the sinew that ties them together, grazing his chest, his abs and then his arms.

"You're more radiant than the stars in the sky. Do you know why I call you little star, Astarion?" He looks at you adoringly, as you show him and his body love and respect.

"Because of my name?" He asks quietly. Astarion meant little star... For elves, you would only get your adult name when you hit adulthood; his name, much like him, was forever petrified in youth.

"That is an aspect of it, yes." You giggle. "I call you little star because you are exactly like a young star. Full of energy, strength, power. Most would look over you, because you are not the largest star in the sky; but I see you as someone who can grow. You have a long life ahead of you, and that path will be bountiful. I know it." You hum, kissing his chest. You have somehow made his disdain for his youth simmer away. He feels unstoppable, knowing that the one he loves holds such a high regard for him, and sees a bright future for him.

"You're incredible." He tells you honestly. You smile at him, running a hand through his perfect curls. You tug gently, and his head tilts back. He is looking at the ceiling of his tent.

"I pale in comparison to you, my love." You kiss his neck again, starting at his bite. Your kisses trail down to his chest, spending an ample amount of time worshipping his nipples. He groans and pants, thighs quivering and his hips rocking back and forth. His member, hardening under you, catches your clit and you moan. You continue your descent, kissing his stomach and showing him love.

"May I?" You whisper.

"Please..." You undress him carefully, kissing his skin as it gets exposed. Once he is fully undressed you smile at him.

"Would you still like to continue?" His mind has forgotten his past, all his suffering. You in all your beauty and care have taken precedence in his mind.

"We can only continue if you're undressed, darling." You nod, undressing for him. You're both nude, and admiring eachother.

"You're stunning." He whispers. You go back to sit in his lap, grinding down on him.

"That's my line." You jest, and he smiles at you. Your efforts to keep him comfortable have made him warm; and needy. He bucks into you, and you moan, head tilted back. He begins to kiss your neck, mirroring your actions from before.

"May I?" He whispers against the column of your neck, and you whimper.

"Please do." He bites into you, and its euphoric. The first time he bit you all those nights ago was painful; but tonight, in the lowlight of his tent, you only feel warmth and love. He moans into your neck, your blood tasting like the finest wine. He pulls off of you, licking up the blood from your neck.

"You taste... delectable." Despite him talking about your blood, it was arousing you. You bite your lip and his eyes track the movement.

"Have another taste." You take a bit of blood from your wound and rub it onto your nipples, before rubbing it on your chest. You put your bloodied fingertip in his mouth. He takes the finger in his mouth, licking and nipping at you. He moans at the action, enjoying how you are feeding him. You pull your finger out of his mouth with a pop and push your chest into his face. He spares not a moment to descend on you, licking and savouring your taste. His tongue laps at your nipples, one at a time. You whimper at the act, gripping his curls tightly. He takes one nipple at a time between his teeth, tugging lightly. The mix of pain and pleasure was enthralling, and you continued to moan, saying his name like a prayer. Once he has cleaned you, he pulls away, licking his lips.

"You're perfect." He tells you earnestly. You blush, before pulling yourself off him. You kneel between his knees, crouching down so you are face to face with his cock.

"I will show you how perfect you are." You whisper, before taking him into your hand. He is large, and your fist can barely close around his girth. He bucks into your hand, keening. You trail kisses up and down his length, eyes never straying from his beautiful face. You take the tip between your lips, licking at the pearl of precum. You begin to take him into your mouth, taking care to be gentle and slow. You wanted to make sure if he ever wanted to stop he could; his comfort and enjoyment taking priority over your own. One of his hands go to the back of your head, and holds your hair. You slowly go up and down his length, tongue swirling around and tasting him. His musk fills your nostrils, and the smell of bergamot and cloves envelop you. You moan around him, beginning to speed up. The hand in your hair tightens, and pulls you deeper until your nose is pressed against the tuft of white-blonde hair at his base.

"O-oh fuck, sweetheart." You begin to deepthroat him, going up and down. He pants, and pushes himself all the way at the back of your throat, and you gag. He chuckles breathlessly, before pulling you off him. Your spittle has covered your chin and the tops of your breasts.

"If we continue like that, we'll be finished too soon." You smile at him, before getting in position above him.

"You're such a good boy, little star. Can't wait to feel you." He never expected to enjoy praise, but the words coming from your lips make him whimper out. You take him in your hand, pumping him once, twice, before descending and taking him. Once you bottom out, you both moan out.

"O-oh Astarion." You whimper. His eyes are wide, trying to commit to memory the look in your face as he fills you deliciously. You begin to move slowly. He already feels so close, the safeness and love he feels for you keeping him on the precipice of satisfaction.

"D-Darling, oh gods, you're tight. Might not last much longer." One arm locks around your waist, while the other trails to where you are joined and rubs you. You wince, moaning loudly. You begin to bounce in his lap and soon he begins to thrust up, hitting you in your cervix and that sweet spot. You were close too, but you wanted to finish together. The rhythm you set is sweet but brutal, the sounds of your coupling loud, but not as loud as the expletives and moans leaving your lips.

He smashes your lips together, and your bodies are touching; almost melding together. Your pace falters but he continues to thrust, his hand rubbing your clit every time he thrusts deep into you. You whimper into his lips, and his tongue finds its way into your mouth, tongues battling and teeth clashing. His lips trail down to your neck to take a bite. As he tastes you, he continues to thrust. You are lightheaded, between his thrusts and blood loss. The room spins, so you close your eyes and focus on how Astarion makes you feel.

He thrusts up once, twice, then stops. His thumb rubs you and you finish together. Your cunt is squeezing him, and milking him of his seed. He finishes inside you, and separates from your neck to moan out and pant. Still sensitive, you move your hips and he groans out, the hand on your waist tightening enough to leave bruises. You chuckle at his reaction, before he does something unexpected. He takes the hand that was rubbing you to his mouth, and keens at the taste.

"Just as savoury as the rest of you. I cannot wait to devour you again sweetheart." You whimper at his words, and clench around him.

"I love you." You tell him, laying your head on his chest. His hand rubs up and down your spine, caressing you.

"I love you too darling." For the first time in his life, he has said words he knew were truthful, without being sarcastic. He knew that for as long as he was unalive, he would love you with all his heart.

END