#since then i've been able to walk and stand up somewhat normally without wanting to cry and/or die

[theflyingfeeling]

still sick but alive, unfortunately 🤧

[i-might-write]

Lingering Touch

Fandom: Bleach

Waiting has never been your strongest suit. 

But on the bright side, the aura of irritation surrounding you managed to scare off anyone who might have considered bothering you under normal circumstances. 

The wind brought the subtle hint of the blooming flowers. The gardens of the Kuchiki mansion had always been a marvel and a place you've enjoyed spending time at. It wasn't always possible, but every once in a while, you've had just enough time, or an excuse good enough to nag Byakuya to let you in. On a few occasions, he even surprised you with his company on your walks. 

Standing at the edge of it, you couldn't focus on the plants and trees to your right. From the place where you leaned on the railing, you could observe both the entrance to Byakuya's mansion and the other path he sometimes took when he didn't want to be bothered on his way. You've known him long enough to know his habits.

It wasn't a surprise to see him appear among the sakura trees. 

Your eyes landed on the blood trickling down his arm. 

"You said it was just a Hollow," you said by the way of greeting. 

Byakuya stayed silent, walking down the path and onto the few steps leading to the apartments. 

You fell into the step by his side, following him through the patios. ”You remember how I said I had a bad feeling about that reiatsu, right? 'Cause I can recall that quite clearly."

Silence wasn't a new thing when it came to Byakuya. He had gotten somewhat used to your presence throughout the years. As one of the friends of Ichigo, your visits to Seireitei happened quite often and just as often involved meeting various shinigami. You wouldn't call Byakuya your friend, but you had a mutual understanding. 

"By the way, I got you those books you wanted from the World of the Living," you said, still following him through the labyrinth of the interior corridors of his mansion. 

Somehow, you managed to meet none of the usual staff or the clan heads. Judging by the tension on his face, Byakuya took that path on purpose. And most likely for your sake too - even though he could use the flash steps to get where he wanted within seconds, you wouldn't be able to follow him as easily.

"Thank you."

"Maybe you should get that cut checked out before you bleed out? It looks quite deep."

"It's nothing serious."

"I have a feeling that's not what might come to mind of whoever has to clean THAT up."

Byakuya looked over his shoulder. You pointed at the blood streak marking the path he took.

"I could heal you up quickly if you want. I've had to learn a lot since that new stuff Ichigo got into."

Byakuya didn't answer, but didn't move either, so you started on the healing spell before he changed his mind. What you said was true. Ichigo had a real talent for getting into trouble and making new enemies in record time. As bad as that was for him personally, at least it provided you with a lot of opportunities to learn a thing or two about healing. It was a nice reprieve from fighting and testing the purely offensive skills.

You wouldn't be the best judge of that, but you were pretty sure you've made some decent progress lately. Byakuya's wounds weren't deep, but it looked as if Hollow's claws got him in a few places. If it even was a Hollow. Captains weren't usually called to take care of just any usual Hollow. Such an emergency must've been caused by something worse.

Byakuya was patient throughout the process. You had to move his arm around to see the cuts underneath and find them all under the drying blood. You were so focused that you barely paid any attention to the owner of the arm. 

His eyes followed your hands, aware of your soft touch and the gentleness within each gesture. The healing itched, but Byakuya could barely feel it when you ran down your fingers over each freshly healed cut. 

He had healers in his mansion that would probably get it over with faster and without any biting remarks, but for some reason the thought of them didn't even cross his mind.

No, that might've been a lie. Byakuya knew the reason, even if he would never admit to it. He had known it for a while and even though he did his best to hide it, sometimes it was beyond him. 

He probably should've moved away when you first touched him, but he didn't. The injuries on his arm were minor in his eyes, but since healing them had put you in such a close proximity to him, he would let you fuss however much you wanted. Up so close, he could almost smell the shampoo you used, or maybe it was the body lotion. A part of him wanted to know, but was silenced by the rest. 

He wouldn't even know where to start.

"There," you let him go with a smile. "Good as new, just needs a bit of cleaning up."

Byakuya nodded. He opened the door at the end of the corridor, revealing a bathing chamber that must've been his goal since the beginning. 

"Oh, that makes sense. I'll just… wait somewhere there."

Byakuya watched you rush off to the side, aiming for the railing overlooking the gardens. He didn't stop you, but when he later took off his outer robes one by one and started washing off the flaking blood, he couldn't stop thinking about the way your touch felt on his skin. Given his position and the way he was used to being treated with respect, there weren't many people left who would grab and pull him any way they saw fit. 

For some reason, or maybe the same reason as always, that thought didn't raise any anger in Byakuya's heart. And even though it was so close, he was starting to miss the source of it.

[skiyoosmi]

to the stars above | z.

featuring. zhongli (genshin impact)

genre. fluff, angst, smut, ancient-liyue!au

word count. 5.4k

marga's notes. aAAAa look look, it's my first commission!! school has kept me really occupied for like the past month but after pulling a few all-nighters, i've finally finished my responsibilities along with this little baby! once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to my bubs @ramannnn for trusting me with this one <33

Nobody knows when the world began, how it came to be and why it continues to be. Even I, whose mind is filled with nothing but wonder for it, have no idea. One thing I am quite sure of... is how mine did.

It all started with him— a man of many titles, different identities yet at the end of the day, all these monikers are the same; it's all him. He adored Liyue more than anything else, knew it like the back of his hand. He went where the winds lead him, stayed where the moon shines upon him, stood where the golden sun kissed his skin. He found serenity in the walks he travels as he goes about his day, the sceneries his eyes take in and the calm sounds the nature resonates for him. And as if it was fate decided upon by the Celestia, it led him to me. Suddenly, my little world that used to be nothing became everything... quickly and all at once.

An exasperated sigh escapes from my lips, frustration and disappointment filling my whole being as I stare at the blank parchment paper I held in my hands. Another day was again wasted with no progress, I thought, mentally beating myself up for not being productive enough. Before I could further drown myself into such pessimistic ideas, I snap out of it and let my eyes cherish the view that lies ahead of me. Though I feel a little guilty for taking Vermeer's place, I can only whisper an apology with little to no sincerity. Because truly, nothing can beat the picturesque landscape of Luhua Pool— the crystal clear waters that would most probably reflect my face like a mirror if I were to ever look at it, the ruins that ignited the spark of curiosity within me, wondering about the pasts it holds and the stillness and feeling of peace it gives me as I sit in this cliff. Feeling somewhat a bit better, I place my things on top of the old bag I bring no matter where I go. There's always a better day for writing, I tell myself as a form of consolation, bringing my slim arms up to begin stretching. I've been sitting on this log for quite a long time now, after all.

"It seems like you are in a bit of a dilemma," a deep voice comments from behind me. Out of surprise, I lightly jump and turn my head towards the stranger. Right at that moment, it felt as if all the air circulating inside my body had been depleted. Captivating was an understatement as to how he appeared before me. With the sunlight striking his face and accenting his unique features further, he stood with his hands behind him, head tilted as he looked at me with interest, all while keeping his dignified posture.

"Oh, hello. I am afraid so, yes," I respond, or rather, mutter under my breath since I was not really used to having sudden encounters with other people, nor am I fond of it. I tend to keep to myself, finding it much more peaceful than having to tend to others' overbearing expectations and demands which is partly the reason why I chose to live in the outskirts, far from the center of Liyue that contrasts my comfortable abode, "I apologize. I failed to realize that somebody other than Vermeer liked to stay here," I told him, arching my eyebrows a little when he let out a breathy chuckle.

"Oh, you have no need for such formal apologies. I do not always go here, at least probably not as often as the man you call Vermeer. I was simply taking a walk and I think I got carried away by Liyue's view and eventually, my feet led me here," he explains, a hint of sheepishness present in his tone, "and I guess I'll have to thank my feet for that."

Because it led me to you, interesting one. For many years, it will remain unspoken, kept by the strange man to himself and unveiled once his heart gives up from the resistance he upholds.

For the following hours of lounging around Luhua Pool, I learned a lot about the stranger— he calls himself "Morax," and like the god of Liyue, he enjoyed history and is extremely knowledgeable about it, aspiring to know and understand everything of the world, he often brews tea, even going as far as inviting me once I am free from any form of work. Just as he shared facts about himself, I did too.

"So, Cheng, you said you have a bit of a dilemma?" he inquires, slightly angling his head towards the direction of the side I'm sitting on. I nod my head up and down, mouth forming into a small pout of disappointment as I remember that today has not been that progressive.

"Yes. I am trying to write a novel, you see. Something that will leave an impact on this world so that even if I may pass, I will still live on the memories of people," I tell him, an ambitious expression present on my face. He hums, eyes going over the terraces that make up the current view we have and the two huge statues standing by the ruins, "Why so?"

I pause for a moment to think of a reply, "I guess I just do not want to let someone alone in this cold world. Wouldn't that be too cruel and sad, to just leave them with nothing?"

If I'm able to write words that will provide comfort to my readers, then maybe... just maybe the world will be less lonely... even for just a little bit. At least, that's what I thought as silence consumed us, the sun setting as if to remind us that finally, another day is nearing its end. Now, what will tomorrow bring?

"Well then, I do hope I will be able to read at least some of your works at least once," he speaks as he stands up, lightly dusting away his clothes, "It certainly has been a pleasure to be your company, Cheng."

As he walks down the slope of the hill, his somewhat broad back facing me, I call out, "Will you be back?"

He stops and turns, a soft smile is plastered on his face as he responds, "Only time will tell."

But time was no friend of mine. At least that's what I have come to realize as many days passed without him returning to this place. Though maybe it's only because it almost felt as if time slowed down and I was only eager to see him again, something I have scolded myself to— what a fragile heart do I have to already seek a stranger's presence? That is what others call love at first sight, a devilish portion of my mind whispered cheekily within me and I gasped in disbelief, "Absolutely not," I lightly slap both of my cheeks, "I'm just too coped up in my own world. I probably need to go see more people."

That thought remains a simple yearning though because once again, I find myself lounging around the same spot in Luhua, a quiet hope ignited within me, fulfilled when I hear the familiar voice he adorns as he speaks, "You're here."

I release a sound that is between a giggle and a breathy chuckle, "And I see your feet had led you here once more?"

"They were curious, or should I say... I was," he explains as he takes a seat beside me, his posture remaining solid despite the uncomfortable position.

"Of what?" I ask.

"Of you," he simply replies, unaware of the sudden yet unsurprising effect it had on my heart that was already beating rapidly with just his mere presence. I try not to be so showy of it though, too embarrassed to even think of how fast I became fond of him.

But it was no wonder. After all, he himself was an interesting one; from the way he carries himself, the way he speaks, and the way he's just him... all and every action hold so much dignity that it just leaves me almost breathless and in awe every single time my eyes finds their way to his figure— and to think that this was just our second meeting? My mother would most probably let out the most shameless giggle as I tell her these thoughts, pushing me and teasing me like a normal person in their teens would. I shake my head to get out of these thoughts, listening to Morax as he tells another wonderful tale, almost making me think that he lived it himself with how he knew it, going over even with the smallest details.

"You know, Morax, you have such a good memory to remember all of those things despite simply hearing about it," I suddenly speak up in the midst of the silence that engulfed us while he tries to think of the next story to tell, "I hope I can stay in them too... in your memories, I mean. I know I am far from being the most interesting person but for some reason, I wish for that."

He pauses, eyes trailing slowly towards me, beyond my knowledge, before he lets out a somber smile. You already are, is another one of him that becomes an afterthought.

I heaved out a sigh before shaking my head again, "Ah! Why do I keep having such lonely thoughts? Forget about that. Please do not mind me, alright? I think I really need to stop being stuck in the mountains."

I pick up my small bag and shuffle inside it, letting out a quiet sound of 'aha!' as a sort of celebration when I successfully got a small book out, "Here."

He blinked his eyes in confusion, wondering what it was I handed to him so I spoke in delight, "You told me you wanted to read at least one of my works so, here. I am warning you though, it is not like the ones that sell best in the bookstores. It might bore you, or weird you out like what others say."

"What others say?"

"They say it's too unrealistic, too impossible... but I believe otherwise. We live in a world where gods and adepti watch over us. What makes my story impossible then?" I ponder, him still being confused.

"What is it about anyway?" He asks, having no idea of what the context my book had.

"It's about an archon who began living as a simple man in Liyue."

Our meetings became more frequent after that and eventually, we got comfortable with even just the presence of each other, having no need for long talks and such, but just peace. Today, like any other day, Morax was just reading the book I gave him, while I was thinking of what my next story would be about. Occasionally, he looks at me with an odd expression that is almost equivalent to astonishment, as if I have done something so great that it made him look at me that way.

"What made you think of this plot?" he asks all of a sudden, not forgetting to put a piece of paper that served as a bookmark on the page where he stopped just in case he accidentally closed it.

I hum, thinking about my answer to his question, "Hmm. Truth to be told, it was just a mere wonder for me. Archons and the adepti, although not entirely immortal, live so much longer than an average human does, watching over us as we go about our daily lives, waiting for sudden wars to break out and then fight the enemies that attack us. Growing up, those were the things that all the people around me told me. So I began to wonder, do they ever get tired? Is it not too taxing to keep on doing that? What if... they just lived with us, among the crowds? Because I think it is too lonely wherever they are. Would it not be better if they were with us, rather than above us, so they could at least have memories to live by?"

Morax does not give a response, or rather, he finds it difficult to find one. Still, it does not stop the affection that spreads within him. He does not say it out loud, but for someone who prefers to be alone, Cheng was full of empathy. And somehow, that did wonders to Morax's heart.

"Now that I think about it, I kind of actually want to address my books to them now," I hum once more, "It would be like a message for them: Do not be too lonely even if we pass. Because of your help, through these stories, we can show you that we lived a good life."

I huff as soon as I finish my sentence, "Although one of those who read it said that was impossible, because according to them, why would archons give up their power to live a life where there is only simplicity?"

Morax let out a sound that made it look as if he got offended himself, "Archons can do that, can they not?"

"I know! That was what I was saying to them. Anyway, I am not forcing them to like what I wrote. It's just a story, after all. It can do no harm," I shrug, beginning to fix my belongings as the sun began to set, "I should go now, Morax. It is still quite a long walk to my home."

"I want to live a good life too," he suddenly tells me, making me halt and turn to him in confusion, "With you. The good life and memories you shall tell in your stories, can I be part of them too?"

The universe does not stop for anyone, nor does time— science will consistently proclaim this fact matter what timeline we shall live in. No matter how much someone begs to the Celestia to grant their wish of controlling, or stopping time, no one will be able to do such things. But somehow, it seems like when it comes to him, everything is possible as I feel my world stop at his words, just like the way it also began when I met him. And as if planets were colliding with each other, I suddenly felt my heart crash upon him and as if out of instinct, I let go of the truth.

"Of course. It would be the greatest thing to have you."

Life was strange in its own way. That is what I have come to realize in this simple life of mine.

Despite the fact that the "me" of the previous year has never even thought about putting my whole being on my sleeve, it is pleasingly odd how right now, I find myself in this kind of situation with the man who swept me right under my feet and claimed my heart as his.

“You're cold," I whisper amidst the silence of the night in my abode, my index tracing the ears of the man who had me sitting right on his lap, the shorter strands of his silky hair tucked behind them. So, so alluring.

He takes hold of my wrist, planting a soft kiss on its side, all while maintaining eye contact as he quietly drawls, "Then I suppose you can keep me warm tonight. Will you?"

As if in a trance, I nod my head, letting him take the lead as he laid me down, back against the soft mattress, him following on top with his arms supporting his build. With arising confidence, I circle my arms around him and pull him down, bringing our lips together, a sigh of relief escaping both of our mouths as if to say, "Finally."

I wonder if he thinks the same way as I do— that this was Celestia in its own way. I felt like I could do anything as long as it was with him. The kiss felt like the power we once suppressed from each other became a supernova that changed our world's course all of a sudden. But despite the tension and heat we both emitted at the moment, there is a warmth that engulfs me the same time he fully wraps his arms around me.

I am here. I will always be here.

No noise disturbs the peace we have created, only the quiet sound of crickets reach our ears but even that fails to distract him from what he's doing. He gently tugs on the sash that keeps my coat tied. Nimble fingers explore the remains of my clothing, loosening all until I am set free from them.

His eyes raked over my body, an expression of awe plastered on his face for so long that it made me somewhat conscious. Because as he unravels his to me, I am enlightened by the fact that my figure is nothing worth comparing to his — not even close. A hint of sweat glints from his skin due to the moonlight, making him look even more ethereal. But who was I to complain?

So instead, I look down, fiddling a little with my fingers as I feel my cheeks heat up. How is it that I only realize now what kind of situation we are currently in? Before I further drown in such shameless thoughts, he lifts my head up by the chin, an amused look on his usually-gentle face, "Are you feeling shy, beloved?"

I meekly nodded, to which he lets out a soft laugh and whispers, "Don't be. You are the epitome of beauty itself. If you don't believe me, allow me to show you nothing but truth tonight, I swear under the moon and all these stars."

He dips down and captures my lips in a kiss once again with more passion, if it was still even possible.

"You are made for me, as I'm made for you," he proclaims as he thrusts inside me after minutes of preparation, soft pants and groans following his statements. I can only whimper in response, pain evident in my tone at first with my hands lightly clawing at his back. I pray to the heavens above that they don't leave awful marks after this.

He halts and utters an apology, thumb caressing the bone of my cheeks while he waits for me to adjust. He scans my face after a few seconds, relief flashing in his eyes when I nod for him to continue.

"I... b..." I try to speak out but the pleasure overwrites any sensical thought that goes through my mind. He slows down a little, looking over my face and smiles, urging me to talk.

"Stay with me, beloved. We still have all night," he tells me, encouraging me to voice what has been on my mind.

"I... I belong to you, always have and always will..." I manage to croak out, voice quite hoarse due to the sounds that I let out previously. Perhaps pleased with what I have proclaimed, he begins going even deeper and at the same moment, I begin falling deeper.

"Yes, yes, you do," he repeats like a mantra, his voice sounding more and more desperate to reach his high. I cry out with him, creating a harmony that even the best bards shall be ashamed.

It was a long night— the longest yet most beautiful night I have ever had in this simple life of mine. And in that moment, as we reach the stars together, I knew right there and then that this man is someone who will be etched in my heart for as long as I live, deep into its roots— for him, it shall beat and it shall love.

You, who are reading this, most probably have had enough of these teeth-rotting praises I kept on writing. But what can I do except to apologize? These words are the only ones that can flow out of my mind and mouth to show how magnificent it was to be loved by him.

Well, nothing significant really changed. He was still the same gentleman I met, if anything, more gentle. Just like in the beginning, he made my heart flutter every chance he gets, no matter how many years have already passed.

We built a dynasty together.

But maybe I should have known that ours were also bound to crumble like the ones that have long existed even way before us.

Days, months and years went on, I realized that he was actually the opposite of me— unlike me who was clearly not parallel with time, he held it right on the palms of his hand. I was not blind, nor was I a fool, I can clearly see how he looks like he has not aged a day, all while I was here, maturing more and more each second that passed by, the amount of signs of me aging increasing significantly.

Morax. Knowledgeable of history as if he lived it himself. Time. All these thoughts eventually congest my mind as realization dawns upon me. He was not merely a man named after the god himself— Morax was him, he was Morax.

"How appalling," I mutter with a hint of sadness and dismay in my tone. I stood in front of the mirror, fingers hovering over my face, wrinkles appearing as I scrunch it. A pair of firm arms snake its way around my lean waist, chin resting on one of my shoulders as he hums his words, "What has got your beautiful mind occupied, my beloved?"

Taking hold of his arms, I turn my body around to face him, a somewhat melancholic smile etched on my face as I look up at his much taller frame, "You are a sight to behold, even to this day." He arches one eyebrow out of amusement and curiosity, wondering why I suddenly started pouring him compliments. After all, my shyness prevents me from consistently doing so. Nonetheless, I continue speaking, "I wish... I could be with you even when everything changes into a whole new world."

I lifted a hand up to cup his cheeks and began rubbing it lovingly, a lone tear finally dropping from my eye as soon as I closed it, "but I cannot, I do not have the ability to do so... I am but a mere mortal, after all."

His eyes widen as he finally discerns my actions and concerns, immediately opening his mouth in hopes of consoling me but I beat him into speaking, "It's alright, Morax. I have been putting the pieces together for a while now. I am in no way angry. I just..." I pause, gulping hard before my lips start to quiver, "... I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. And now... I think about it and I... I do not want to leave you alone again."

My cries eventually start becoming louder, something that is very new to the both of us, seeing as I have always been composed. Love can change a person into a whole new being. I remember a book I have read once and at the moment, I can only agree. Maybe it was the way my heart clenches at the mere thought of him walking alone, or the way I can imagine us taking our last breaths together yet I know that will never happen— but either way, it was painful.

He whispers sweet nothings to my ears, placing light kisses on my temple as he leads us to the bedroom to rest once my tears have finally ceased and I have calmed down. His hold on me gets tighter every time I let out a small hiccup due to crying, almost as if he was telling me that he was feeling the same pain as I was.

Hours pass by as we lay in silence. My tears have long dried up but we remain coped up in each other's arms.

"Would it not be interesting if you bear the name Zhongli?" I ask him in a somewhat croaky voice.

He peers down and tilts his head, "Now where did that thought come from?"

I shrug, or at least try to, and look up at the ceiling as we shift our positions to lay on our back, hands finding one another and intertwining, "Hmm... nowhere. Just a name I wanted to give you in case that you are needing a new one."

"Oh? How come it would be interesting then?"

I look at him with a comforting yet sad smile.

"Because it means it's time to leave, to go somewhere far away... and unfortunately, I will have to leave soon."

He furrowed his eyebrows together, "Do not say that. Who knows? Maybe you will be able to live a hundred years by my side. Besides, I think it sounds lonely. I do not think I would want to get reminded of the fact that you are not here with me."

I hum, "But if you bear the name I gave you, wouldn't it feel like I never went away? That no matter where your feet take you, no matter how far you go, I am and will always be with you, just as I have vowed."

The wooden door leading to my writing room slowly slides open and Morax's head peers in, an adorable smile plastered on his face, "You have been quite busy these days, beloved. I do not wish to disturb you but I am starting to long for your presence."

I let out a shameless giggle, "Alright, alright. Just let me write down a few more words while I still have ideas to input."

He peeks on the parchment paper out of curiosity, taken aback when he finds his name on it, "You are writing about us?"

I nod proudly, "My last piece."

"... But why?"

I smile and approach him, taking his hand and placing my forehead against his after he lowers his head down to my level, "I told you, did I not? I do not wish to leave the person I love with nothing. So that you will not be lonely, my words will be with you. I will be with you, always..."

"... and to tell the gods... to tell you, that I loved every second of my life with you— that it was, indeed, a good life."

"Who are you, young man? Are you my son?" I speak with a very hoarse voice, squinting my eyes at the figure in front of me, as if my poor vision will allow me to do that.

I hear a melancholic yet gentle sigh come from him before he takes my rough hands and looks afar, "Don't mind me. I'm just someone who vowed to be with you for as long as time lets us."

"Oh.... really? That’s quite endearing," I hum, "Well, may I know your name?"

"This… I think I may just have an idea to whom this book is for," Paimon trails off, looking over at the traveler who was in the same trance as her, "Paimon thinks we should let the strange person we saw a while ago give this directly to Zhongli!"

Lumine nods, turning around and starting to run towards the direction they were at previously, recalling the person named Cheng who gave them the novel they just finished reading. They were unique, dressed in layers of robes and it was almost as if they lived in the old times of Liyue. Even the way they talked and moved screamed ancient.

Just as they turned the corner, a woman near the Liuli Pavilion called them over, "Traveler! Here!" As they approach, Lumine cranes her neck to look around the area but to no avail, the strange person was long gone.

"Are you two alright?" the woman asks, much to their confusion, "I saw you talking to literal air awhile ago and I was worried you have eaten something strange."

The pair looks at each other in surprise before Paimon replies, "You didn't see anyone? Like a person dressed in the strangest attire? They dressed really anciently!"

The door of the Liuli Pavilion opens and there goes Zhongli, a calm expression morphing to an awkward one when he realizes he barged into an ongoing conversation. He apologizes for the disturbance and despite the curiosity he had upon overhearing bits of Paimon's statements, he starts his walk back to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. At least not until he hears Paimon call his name, "Zhongli! Wait! A person named Cheng. Do you know them?"

He abruptly stops and turns to the two, eyes wide for a second before it returns to his usual demeanor, "How... how do you know of them?"

"We met them," Paimon says, as if it was the simplest thing to do, "Well, honestly, we don't know because we were apparently speaking to nothing but air! It's so odd!"

He stays still, honestly having no idea of what response he should give them because he himself found it hard to believe.

"Well anyway, they asked us to give you this nov— wait, where is it? It was just in your hands a while ago, Traveler!"

In the midst of the loud chaos made by the two in the middle of Liyue, he thinks he knows what to do and where to go now.

It was the day of the Rite of Parting, an event where he's supposed to be taking part of, even just a part of the audience. But he finds himself hanging around the Wanwen Bookhouse, eyes scanning the shelves until it stops at a familiar name engraved on the cover of a book.

"Oh! Greetings, Mr. Zhongli! I see you took a liking to a very great and romantic novel," Jifang comments as she sees the book in his hands.

He looks at her, "Is it really great?"

She gasps in delight, "Yes, indeed! Almost all of the Liyue folks have enjoyed this story! You can say it is a classic, especially for readers! Cheng definitely outdid themselves with this one! Such a mysterious person yet equally amazing. Imagine? Being able to make such a beautiful love story with Morax? They don’t mention the present name they gave Morax though, such a shame. Maybe it was due to old age, they wrote it until the last moments of their life after all. Anyway, I have to get back to work but enjoy reading that masterpiece!"

He feels his heart swell in pride upon knowing his lover had his wish come true. His nimble fingers carefully open the pages of the book and hours later, as he sat inside the Funeral Parlor after taking the novel home, he finds himself absorbing each and every word Cheng have written, the loneliness sitting idly inside him subsiding little by little.

I found solace in the countless cups of tea you brew whenever I encounter distress with my works, the endless stories you tell with a smile so beautiful that not even the most heavenly scenery can vanquish, but most of them all, the feeling of your hand intertwining with mine, providing me with serenity no one else has ever done before. Under the moonlit night of Liyue, I remember your wistful amber eyes, staring deep into my soul as you proclaim your love and desire for me. How foolish was it of me to think that I could live this life without even experiencing such warmth and intimacy?

It is a banality, really — how I wish to become a well-known writer with unique tales and yet the story I am telling is something so common to folks that they have most probably heard similar ones before. But I guess this is what it means to love and to be loved. Everything is like a cycle that just keeps on being repeated, yet we never get tired of it, of the feelings it brings. So, thank you, Morax. Words will never be sufficient to show how grateful I am to you for showing me a whole new world but I suppose this is still a way for me to give back to you.

With this little book of mine, I hope my heart reaches yours regardless of how many eras may have passed before and after us. So, my beloved, do not be too lonely without me. Even if you find yourself longing for my presence, just open this and my heart shall be with you.

This belongs to you, it always will.

And I do, as well.

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ DID YOU CANCEL YOUR PLANS FOR ME? ❜

❚❙ ANGEL REYES MASTERLIST.

✨ REQUEST by @rocketqueen: hey Aurora! first of all: i love your blog. I guess you know that by that point cause i’m always here, but i’d like to say it again just for you to be sure of the amazing blog you have. And I’d like to do a request from January. The prompt is number 15 “Do you cancel your plans for me?” (it’s the fluff prompt list) with Angel Reyes, please! Thank you 💘

Gif credit: to the awesome @angels-reyes.

WORDS: about 1k.

❚❙ A/N: first of all, thanks for requesting. You don't know how happy you make me every time I see you in my notifications and I'm glad that you enjoy my blog this much, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry it took me so long and I know this should be part of ‘January of Prompts’, but I decided to take it as another request due it has been impossible for me to write this challenge. Concretely, this work is the first I write for Mayans after two months of suffering a writer's block, so I hope with all my heart that you all really enjoy it. As always, thank you for all the support you show me every day.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

You haven't ever cared about your friends' opinion. You haven't ever cared about what they used to say about Angel, about his man-reputation, nor about the fearsome Mayans. You know him ever since, you know how he behaves, how he acts, his red flags, his unconscious tics when he is nervous or happy or hurt. You know him better than yourself. That's why you haven't cared either about your friend making you choose between them or he, thinking you would choose them. They were wrong. Unlike your inner circle, Angel has never said a single bad word about them. He has always protected you, taken care of you, given you the best advice, motivated you to continue studying Medicine, and helped you to chase your dreams.

Tonight you were supposed to spend it with your friends and family, but you know you wouldn't have any fun hearing all of them criticize each other under sarcasm and fake laughs. Stabbing their backs and pretending it's okay, it's something normal in society nowadays. And there you are, hands within your pockets, crossing the junkyard alley straight to the clubhouse. Soon, the latin music fills your surroundings starting to sound louder as you reach the epicenter of the party. The night Angel becomes a full member.

He didn't ask you to come, even if there wasn't he desired the most than being with you. He knew about your plans and he didn't have the right to put you into a corner. He said you could celebrate the next day. What Angel didn't know is you had your preferences clear and a decision was taken. With a smile from ear to ear, your gazes find the other. He's sitting close to the bonfire with his brothers and some of Vicki's girls trying to catch his attention, drinking and pretending he is having a good time. But the gesture on his face changes completely at the moment he realizes that you are really there. It's not a vision, it's not a dream, it's not alcohol intake.

Cleaning his mouth with the back of his hand after a sip from his beer, he leaves it on the ground standing up from his chair. Even if the talks continue around the two of you, you have earned every single pair of eyes there, following the new brand member walking towards you.

“Shouldn' yo—”.

“Maybe”. You interrupt him, shrugging your shoulders and stopping your feet some inches away from him.

“Did you… cancel your plans for me?” Angel asks, trying to hide a funny and triumphal smirk while tangling his hands on his abdomen.

“Maybe”. You repeat licking your incisors to gulp a giggle.

“Your family must be… very disappointed”.

“You are my family, Angel”.

The fleeting shine that crosses his black orbs gives you shivers. The way he has to lick and bite his bottom lip lets you know he is somewhat nervous after hearing it. You're more than aware that he has strong feelings for you. Real ones. You aren't a game for him. You aren't a possible one nightstand. Seeing you there, hearing you say those words get his heart racing at the edge of collapsing.

Angel doesn't hesitate to rest a hand on your cheek to place a warm kiss on the other. His lips are trembling, just like his fingers, and you can swear that it's the sweetest thing you have ever experienced. You can't help but close your eyes when you feel his mouth coming a little closer to yours with short and clumsy kisses, feeling the fear on him of you pushing him away in the last second. But you can't move.

When his lips find yours, fireworks explode inside your belly. The Big Bang happens around you. The time stop. His breathing gives you goosebumps and his tongue parting your lips to play with yours gives you shivers. You haven't ever felt this good, as if you had the world in your hands as if nothing were impossible. That's what Angel provokes in you. Sensations and emotions that you can't explain, but the kind of ones that made you and made him addicted to each other.

“Ain't nothing without you”. He whispers too slowly, dragging every syllable through his tongue, not being able to open his eyes yet. “You're the air tha' keeps me afloat”.

“Angel…”

“No, listen… I'd never do anything to hurt you, you know it, right? Despite… wha' people think, I can make it work. You and I. The club, a life together”. His lips brush yours so soft that it's making your legs tremble, having to tangle your fingers in his kutte. “I've always wanted you, I've always loved you even when I couldn't love myself, 'cause you have done it fo' me”.

“It will work, Angel. I know it. We'll make it work”. You cheer him up, feeling how the smile on his lips becomes a little bigger. “I adore you... You're a blessing to my life, mi angelito. I wouldn't rather be in another part of the world than by your side”.

As soon as his strong bare arms wrap your mid back while a purr escapes his throat, you break into giggles putting your hands on his nape. Angel embraces you as much tight as he can, practically melting into one figure for a couple of seconds. He's a true angel from heaven, but his hugs are warm like hell.

“Are you gonna show me your new patches, ah?” You are very curious and interested when he pulls himself away to hold your hands, noticing them on his flaps.

He nods his head with a proud grimace, pointing at them and the absence of the prospect one, before turning around to show you the bigger one. Mayans MC insignia. Colorful and clean. You can't help but trace it with your fingertips.

“You like it?”

“Pretty much. Looks good on you”.

“Everything looks good on me, baby”. Clicking his tongue and raising his eyebrows, Angel faces you again to start to walk backwards to his brothers.

You roll your eyes inevitably, letting him guide you to be greeted by his new family. A family you are now part of.

[knockknockchicagopd]

❛ I'M NOT BULLETPROOF ❜

❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: Hello, here’s the request all sort out ... could I get a Antonio imagine where the reader is related to someone on the unit? With the prompts (fluff 3/ 7) and also could you make it smut? Thank you once more!

❚❙ PROMPTS: “I just wanted to hear your voice”. / “We can pretend that nothing happened last night, but it did”.

❚❙ ANTONIO DAWSON MASTERLIST.

❚❙ WORDS: about 2k.

❚❙ WARNINGS: nsfw, unprotected vaginal sex, mention of bodily fluids.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.

❚❙ GIF credits: to my amazing @sonsofeorl.

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @anotherfan07 @destynelseclipsa @jadakiss13. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

“Hey…”

“Antonio?”

Sitting up on your bed tossing away the sheets, you turn on the small lamp somewhat worried. It's too late and his gloomy tone of voice worries you. For Jay, you know it hasn't been a good week in the way of the delicate case they have had in his hands. A guy who used to rape and murder officers, just because he thought they didn't deserve to live. In the academy, the instructors teach you to catch the bad people but not to deal mentally with what they do. Every cop has their own way to confront him. Your brother, for example, likes to play videogames to escape from the world.

“You okay?” Whispering, you curl up your legs to your chest, resting your cheek on them.

“Yeah, just wanted to hear your voice”.

You can't help but draw a shy smile on your lips, feeling your face slightly burning. You can't lie and say that he hasn't attracted you since Jay introduced you. He has always been kind and tender, and more funny than your middle-brother had told you.

Last night you went to dinner after work and he drove you to your house. And no, you weren't expecting him to kiss you, just as he wasn't expecting you to correspond it with something else than a physical attraction. You can assure that you're in love with him, but you know you are falling for him a little more every time Antonio looks at you and smiles for no reason.

“Whe—Where are you?”

“Close to the beach. Walking. Clearing my head”.

Puckering your lips, placing your eyes over the large window in front of your bed, you try to not succumb to a new necessity you didn't know you had.

“Wanna come over…?”

“I'd like it”. The murmur appears after some seconds of silence, racing your heart for an instant.

“'Key, see you now”. Biting your bottom lip to contain a smile, you hang up the call.

You decide to get up from bed, being aware that if you stay there you'll end up falling asleep again. The beach isn't too far from your house, knowing the way to perfection. It's your favorite place to have something for dinner after a long shift in the cafeteria you work in. Taking the advantage to bring some order in your flat, you lose track of time till the knocks on the main door claims your attention.

Accommodating your hair, you lead your bare feet to the entrance not being able to hide the soft smile that curves up the corners of your lips, when you receive him. Antonio looks tired to death, not wasting time to hug you under the door frame. Surrounding his neck with both arms you take a step to hold him closer, being overwhelmed by all the sensations he is transmitting to you in such a simple gesture.

The hug lasts longer than you could think, not being bothered by that, enjoying every second of his warmth wrapping you. Hearing him sigh with his forehead resting over your shoulder, you push some distance between both to let him come inside and close the door after his steps.

“Wanna drink something? I have beer, coke, whisky… Water?”

“No, I'm good”. He just replies, taking off his jacket to hang it on a chair. “Listen… we can pretend that nothing happened last night. But it did. I don't wanna put pressure on you and I know who your brothers are, but… I really like you. I've been thinking about you, about us, the whole day. In my job you know when you start to work, but you don't know if you'll come home and I don't want to lose the opportunity of being with you, of leaving this world knowing… that I've made you happy”.

These words, the desperation in his voice as he is finishing them, leaves you speechless. Your brain is trying to process what Antonio has just said, keeping his trembling hands inside the pocket of his jeans. The first thing you can think about is that you don't care about Jay, nor Will. They only want for you a man who treats you like you deserve. The best of the best. And the man in front of you is it.

“I can leave, if you wan'me to”.

“Wh— no, no, no”. You fastly reply, taking the steps enough to shorten the distance between the two of you, aware that you've spent too many seconds without saying anything, making him doubt that you don't feel exactly like he does. “I… Antonio, I…”

As soon as you understand that you're not able to form a sentence with sense, you simply place your hands on both sides of his neck while standing on your tiptoes, to crash your lips on his. It doesn't take him by surprise, being what he was waiting for more than for a talk. Bending down slightly, he lifts you up to urge you to surround his waist with your legs. The necessity of feeling each other closer and closer is suffocating you, leaving you breathless because of the passion concentrated in the kiss.

Antonio brings you to your room fastly than you can assimilate, falling on the bed when his knees collide with the mattress. The kiss breaks because of the laughs with a sensation of joyful filling up your chests. Helping him with his t-shirt to throw it somewhere on the floor, you roll up over his body before attacking his lips again. Biting, sucking and tasting them. Deepening with his tongue invading your mouth to play with yours. His hands paw your body almost desperate to memorize every inch of your anatomy, landing them on your ass when he feels the friction against the rock under his jeans, as soon as you swing your hips.

Antonio tosses off his shoes, heel against heel, sliding his fingers over your body to grab the gems of your t-shirt and take it off to discover your soft and sweet skin. Normally, both you and him, would enjoy some foreplay; but not this time. Not after long months of containing the desire to be together in every way. He needs to be inside you. You need him to be inside of you. And while his lips devour your breasts helping himself with a hand, stealing your honeyed moans, the other undoes his belt and the zip of his jeans. Three simply pulls down and his hardness breaks free to his abdomen.

You can't help but lick your lips strongly, urging you to lie on your back to watch him roll down the black thong left on you by your thighs. The fire burning within his eyes gives you chills, not being able to break eye-contact. Settling himself between your legs, spreading them for his delight, his right hands goes straight to his dick; jerking himself off to prepare for you.

“Look at me…” He almost begs with a broken thread of voice, as his glans rubs your center slowly, playing with your mind. “We're on time to stop”.

“I don't want you to”. Your lips brushes his, wrapping his neck with both arms.

You couldn't regret it. You couldn't regret letting him walk into your life. For letting him love you with so much kind and tenderness. Antonio is everything you could have dreamt with all your life, and you're not going to let him go. He just nods in silence with his eyes fixed on yours, digging himself inch by inch inside you. The warmth and the wetness within your cunt make him grunt and shake slightly, feeling by his part how his length forces your wall a little creating a delicious sensation.

“Fuck…” You sigh nailing your fingertips on the back of his neck when he reaches your limits.

Buried deep inside you, one of your legs surrounds his waist trying to push him closer.

“You feel so good, amor”. He babbles pecking your lips with sloppy kisses, placing his right hand on your thigh, as the other wraps your middle back. “You wan'me to move?”

“Please, Antonio”.

He feels proud of hearing you imploring, moving his hips back enough to go forth again, starting a slow dance that curls your tiptoes and causes your eyelids to close. It feels like your bodies are made exactly for the other, fitting to perfection. Soon, your whimpers fill up your room, creating a pleased and delighted echo that it's like a celestial song for the man satisfying you as his only worry tonight. He has the imperious necessity of demonstrating you every single thing he has carried inside his heart since Jay introduced you.

Thrust after thrust, moan after moan, the atmosphere around you is full of heat and devotion for each other. Antonio nails his teeth in your neck without warning you, feeling the tip of his tongue pressing down your skin with soft caresses, being aware that tomorrow you will have a new tattoo. From your lips escape some giggles mixed with surprised gasps, being the match that lights the wildfire inside you.

With a quick move, not knowing where the strength has come from, you sit over him making him laugh. Putting your hands on his bare chest, Antonio travels his to your hips while resting his head on the pillow. If he wasn't in love before, now he really is, watching you taking control. He hasn't ever seen a most beautiful view; you, rocking your body over his, dragging your nails on his skin to bristle it wherever they venture, your breasts almost bouncing with every move (...). If his body were a temple, you would be his goddess without a single damn doubt.

And you can't help but speed up the pace, synchronizing your pleased vocals in a perfect melody all around; increasing them as the knot in your lower belly becomes more suffocating, running your lungs out of air. One of Antonio's hands is placed in your middle back, pushing you down to catch your lips with his. He has declared himself an addict since the very first moment he touched them.

The pearls of sweat decorate your foreheads, as the moans are constant and you can't delay it anymore. The orgasm explodes inside you like fireworks screaming out his name, not caring about the fact that your neighbors can hear you, feeling his hot seed filling you up with a last push to your g-spot. An indescribable sensation that has you two breathless.

You can't help but utter a grunt of disappointment when he pulls himself out of you, falling by a side of your bed trying to catch back your air. Looking at Antonio, the two of you giggle inevitably being conscious of what just happened. But it feels good. It feels so good. Stretching his arms towards you to embrace you against his body, he leans a little to press his lips on yours with so much tenderness, leaving a sigh on them. Resting your heads on the pillow, you place a hand on his cheek to caress it gently with your thumb, watching him close his eyes to only focus on your touch.

“The first time I saw you… I knew your smile would give me some trouble”. You mumble, feeling his grip become a little tightly.

“Did it, uh?”

“Not the kind I thought”.

Antonio chuckles licking his bottom lip, shrugging funnily.

“I'm not gonna say I'm sorry, baby”.

[impaladolan]

Capture - Grayson Dolan [9/-]

summary: after a wild night, and an amazing slumber, you agree to have a “normal” day with him.. in which you found out his name.. finally..

warnings: smut, kinda fluff-ish, & swearing

a/n: sorry that it takes me literally years to come out with new capture parts. i’ve just been very unmotivated and i just haven’t been able to put my thoughts into words lately. BUT this is finally part nine and i hope you enjoy ! <3

You braced your body for a hard fucking.

Even in the hazed state of drunkenness, where you could hardly make out the few feet in front of you, your body ached and shivered for his touch. Just feeling the warmth of his tall stature standing behind you created some sort of barrier of relief, like you could feel safe within his arms.

Which should be far from the truth...

You heard the echoing sound of his pants falling to the ground with a thud, while his shirt flew over your head and landed on the floor in front of you. Still, even in the weakness of want and need, you contemplated an escape. You knew you'd never succeed, but it was a thought trapped in the back of your mind at all times.

It felt like it had been forever since he last touched you, when in reality, mere seconds.

You almost cried out for him, but you soon felt the coolness of his hand travel down your spine, eliciting a soft whimper to cascade from your lips. His finger pulled the brim of his shirt up your body, just enough to fully examine your backside like it was a precious artifact. You arched your back to his touch, sighing as both of his hands slid up your sides.

Not a word slipped from his mouth as he slipped his hands beneath your thighs, aligning his hard cock with your drenched pussy, roughly pulling you closer to him.

“What made you think you could get into Daddy’s alcohol?” He questions as he finally sinks in, filling your center’s walls until he no longer could. You held your breath as he stretched your pussy achingly slow, a groan escaping his mouth as his girth becomes surrounded with your warmth.

“And snoop around my office like a fucking bad girl?” Just a slow as before, he retracts his hips from yours, watching as your breathing becomes erratic. “D-Daddy!” You scream when he roughly thrusts into you without warning, beginning a quick pace that made you squeal.

He drew his hand back and laid a harsh slap against your ass, guiding his other hand to your shoulder to hold onto for stability. His own breathing became ragged as his cock reached depths into your pussy, unlike any other guy ever had. His reddened tip brushed just delicately over that body-numbing spot that made you squirm and want to shriek with pleasure.

“God, you’re so fucking tight.” He murmured breathlessly to himself, which only furthered him to want you more. He travels his free hand back down to your slick folds, adding quick circles with his thumb to the hood of your clit. Your mind was too slow to comprehend the amount of ecstasy the man behind you was bringing, but you knew you had to be close to combusting around his sunken cock— and you could hardly wait.

He was close too, his movements became ragged and he too was in a state of euphoria where he couldn’t decipher what’s wrong from right.

“I-I’m so fucking close, Daddyy.” You drug out, hiccuping when he brushes over that spot over and over, like he knew that that’s where it made you shiver and yelp for him. You didn’t wait for a response. Instead, you came all over him— falling apart in his grasp.

And he did the same.

He breathed a soft moan as he came undone, shooting his hot spurts of cum up into you, his chest heaving up and down from exertion. Soon enough, he pulled away from you. The warmth of him and his body leaving you sprawled out upon his desk like it had never happened.

You turned over to lay on your back, exhaustion tightening upon your heaving body. If allowed so, you would've fell asleep right on his desk. Possibly even lay down on the floor, for your room seemed like miles away and your legs weren't stable enough to balance on anyway. Your eyes were already shut and your mind became clear, unbothered by anything surrounding you.

Even he had escaped your mind, all until you felt your shirt unravel down your body, shielding the bareness of your skin. He cleaned up the mess that the two of you had made, and tucked a piece of lose hair behind your ear.You didn't care to open your eyes, but your heart seemed to beat a little quicker as he picked you up. His touch was delicate, like you were a priceless piece of art. And he even walked gracefully, slow and simple steps until the warmth of another room struck your frozen face.

His embrace was so comfortable, soothing even, and you couldn't help the heaviness of your eyelids. You were halfway asleep before he laid you down on his bed and lifted the silky smooth covers over your body.

"Goodnight, G." You weren't sure how, but you were capable enough whisper that little phrase. His heart fluttered, a smiling drawing his lips and he just had to bend down and leave a sweet kiss on your cheek.

"Sweet dreams." His once harsh voice was softer than he had ever used it, something familiar that you seemed to have known a long time ago..

Your dreams swept over your fulfilled mind, and a deep sleep fell over you.

-

Your eyes fluttered open and a golden splash of sun had seeped ever so quietly through the window of the room in which you were peacefully sleeping in. You were sunken into the pillowy surface of a gigantic bed, the fluffy duvet covering you entirely and some more. In the imaginary book titled "Top Five Sleeps I've Ever Had," you'd have to say that waking up like this had to at least be pulling in the top three. It was so warm and comfy, and the likelihood of you ever moving from such a position, was very rare.

Now, the man, snoring like an angel would, beside you, shouldn't feel oh-so normal. In fact, anyone with morals and common sense would be outraged and have thrown a fit. After all, he's a stranger— who's gone as far as to kidnap you and hold you captive for however long it's been. But, if we're being honest, you've lost all sense and mindfulness by now. You're flatly surviving with your emotions at this point.

He is pretty attractive though...

Your eyes had nothing else to do except roam his exposed backside, the sunlight sculpting all the creases of his uniformly patterned muscles. And his soft hair, placed angelically upon the pillow where the rest of his head laid. If only it were under different circumstances, would you then and only then consider his affection and presumably put it into a relationship.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's rude to stare?" His hoarse voice rose just a little above a whisper, a temporary chuckle flooding from his lips as well. "I'm admiring, not staring. There's a difference." Although you followed with an eye roll, your lips were twisted into a giddy grin and the roundest part of your cheeks became a rosy pink.

"Still quick-witted, huh?" He began as he rolled his body over to face you. His lips were a swollen red, just enough to leave a small peck upon— only if you could. His hazels were glistening after a long yawn emptied from his mouth, which unfortunately you're extremely contagious to. You open your mouth to replicate what he had just done, but your yawn is stopped short when his soothing words seeped from his lips.

"I wish it were back to normal, like the old days. With me, waking up right next to you." He began as a cheesy smile curved his lips. "Talking, laughing, deep conversations, debating, arguing— everything that we used to do, I want it back. I want you to remember who I am, to remember us."

"Then show me." You subtly demanded. His eyes flickered wider as his cheeks turned into a pinkish-red. Within an instant, he threw the covers off of the two of you and quickly scrambled out of the comfortable bed.

"C'mon." He held out his hand for your own, and with a nice smile you took it. He pulled you up from the bed and onto the chilling floor with ease, soliciting a short giggle as you stabilized your aching body upon your feet.

No matter how peculiar this situation is, you wanted to at least try to have one normal encounter with him.

You kept your hands intertwined as he led you from the room and down the hall towards the kitchen. He only let go when he was in reach of the coffee machine that he as nicely set atop the counter of his large kitchen. “Coffee, M’lady?” He curved one of his brows as he turned on the high tech machine as you happily nodded.

You haven’t had a warm cup of coffee in a long time, it seems...

-

Your stomach began to hurt from all the endless laughing you've been submerged in, reminiscing on your own childhood stories as well as his college adventures for the past couple hours. The two of you left the kitchen and your empty mugs awhile ago, and now you both were comfortably settled upon the expensively clothed couches that were strategically placed in the large living area.

Your mind is at such an ease, talking to a man you’ve somewhat grown to know in this morning.

The way he talked and expressed himself reminded you of someone you used to know, a long time ago. And it made your head fuzzy and clueless, irritated that you couldn't exactly pinpoint who he really was. Once the laughter had subsided, and the never-leaving question once again clouded your mind— you just had to ask.

"Who— Who are you?" Your voice was so curious, so innocent and in need of an answer from the man you've been so desperate to know for ages.

He didn't reply straight away. Instead, he focused his glistened orbs on the likes of yours, reaching depths it never had before. He intakes a large, deep breath, blowing his exhale out through his nose as his chest fell in a relaxed sigh.

"Grayson," He solemnly began, standing from his former seat and taking a few steps towards you, "Dolan." He crouched down before you as his lips sealed, his shaking hands falling onto your shoulders and gracefully sliding up your neck, resting upon the warmth of your cheeks.

You mind tumbled as your tongue wouldn't lather a word to permit from your mouth. You froze, unable to move or even think clearly as realization courses through you.

"It can't be.." You were eventually able to stutter, bringing your hands up to lay flat on his own. A single tear fell from you eye, and Grayson shuttered..

-

He's dead.

And so am I.

to be continued...

[sharpwin101]

“EVERYTHING I DID, I DID FOR YOU”

N.B. Hey guys, I'm re-uploading this narrative due to previous grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. mistakes. I'm completely bad at proofreading lol, and didn't take the time to read over, but after receiving some very impactful feedbacks on twitter, it gave me the motivation I needed to somewhat correct these mistakes🤞hopefully enough, finishing this fanfic, which I must say I'm quite excited for you guys to read.

  S2 EP16 “EVERYTHING I DID, I DID FOR YOU”,

  CHAPER 1

I don't get it?  As tears stream down her cheeks,

Her thoughts raced as she remained in front of her bathroom mirror long enough to get agitated by her own self-pity. 

She understood that harboring such feelings would not only be self-destructive, but would keep her trapped, she was mentally stronger, and refuses to let it sabotage the barrier she has construct throughout the years.

She knew conquering and embracing Max’s indecisiveness, was just a question of time. That continues to fail him terribly, repeatedly, to define them, what they meant to each other, wondering how much longer, if not impossible, it will be for him to embrace and overcome his own fetters to unleash what he truly feels. 

Will he ever? she’s impel to believed, naively unaware of her imperceptiveness to his true desire, behind his barriers, causing her to suspect mistakenly,

Questing “does he feels the same” 

She paces back and forth, flipping her heels off with a small grimace, scattering them on the floor.

Fervently turning to her living room, with an instant wipe of her tears, in the direction of the liquor cupboard, pulling the first wine bottle her hand came across, desperate for a wine opener, she run-walk towards the kitchen, leaving nearly all of the drawers open while probing through.

She spotted the opener. Yes, yes! Clutches it obstinately, relieved. 

As she holds the bottle inverted between her knees, she struggled to open it a bit, her mind still being indistinct after their encounter, temporarily forgotten how to open the wine bottle.

(The wine cork flew free)

She hastily turns it to her head, gulping it down as if she didn't have time to consume it a bit slower, inadvertently spilling it on her. 

Crap!

Returning to the bathroom in search of her robe, while undressing herself and gulping more wine down her throat.

Being the clean freak she is, immediately after, she brought her clothing towards the laundry room, as she senses the impending intoxication looming over her.

(Crash)The wine bottle slipped from her deft grip and shattered on the floor. 

she slowly slumped to the floor, leaning against the laundry door for support grappling to sit up. While her clothes slowly unfold from her arms, As she casts a longing glare into space.

She ruminate aloud, frustratedly. 

What is wrong with me? Staring up towards the roof, as though she was seeking answers to all of life's unanswered questions from a greater Entity.

Why I’m I so unlucky?

I fought on, knowing that I wasn't even sure whether I'd be ready too, if you chose me then or now, she added, laughing.

All the walls I've worked so hard to build, comes crumbling down whenever I see, I can’t comprehend it. 

As she gently holds the nape of her neck, breathing deeply, with her left hand  supporting her head, while facing down. I don't want to lose control; I can't lose control.

You say these significant things,

you look at me in the way you do, and then you do nothing?  How can I fight for that?

You asked me why I did what I did, despite the fact that you already knew the answer. I asked you to define us; 

what exactly, this, we are?  as she motioned for answers

I've given you so much, and I tried so hard not to but it's as if all my rationale goes out the window when you're in danger. (laughing sarcastically at her self). 

For God sake, you yelled at me.......... whenever I try to help.

I have these fantasies about you before getting out of bed, I've tried to ignore it; believe me, I have (laughing) 

now I'm just here talking to myself.

As her gaze wandered around the room, she became irritated by the smashed wine bottle. 

   “ FIGHT FOR US”,

CHAPERT 2

(KNOCKING) She tilted her head, confusedly glancing towards the front door, wondering if it was the alcohol or someone was actually at the door.

Struggling to get up from the floor, as she continues to listen attentively to hear whether the knocking was coming from her front door. She slightly slipped when grabbing for her phone on the kitchen counter, to check the time.

11:43pm

Tightening her robe as she wiped her face, pondering, a few names flashed through her mind, But why would they not call? silently muttering to herself. Her phone started to ring as soon as the knocking ceased. Resuming her attention to her phone, which lids up, displaying "Dr. Max Goodwin” with a slight discontent look, she responded, still gazing at the door, nervously biting down on her index finger.

What, what do you want? She answered. 

"I'm at your door; will you let me in?". Quickly swallowing her saliva, her heart races, instantly lowering her phone to her side, with a million thoughts rushes through her head as she looked at the messed she had created, quickly ending his call. She began picking up her clothes from the floor and rushed to the washroom, staring at her flushed face, unbothered at this point and didn't care whether he noticed she was crying.

She trudged towards the front door, spotting her bed slippers and pulls them on.  Briefly pausing before opening the door.

There he was, standing in front of her. Casually dressed, in blue jeans, a grey    t-shirt, and his black jacket, which she had seen him in before.

Trying not to look into his eyes, but he has already peered right into hers. Struck by how small and delicate she looks outside the walls of the hospital, becoming completely lost in her eyes, unable to speak. 'Um, I... What are you doing here? she asked, before he could finish his sentence.

Were you crying? With a slight head tilt, she rolled her eyes irritably as she turns her back on him, leaving the door ajar. What are you doing here, Max?, her voice raised rather than normal. The frustration in her voice perplexed him. I wanted to ‘Um, before noticing the shattered wine bottle on her floor. 

As she reaches to get the mob and dustpan from the storage area adjacent to her kitchen. He watches her as she teeters, shutting the drawers that she left open earlier.

As she approaches the spilt wine on the floor, she kept her eyes lowered trying not to look him into his. He detects her shakiness as she extends the broom over the shattered wine bottle. No! he said, with no intent, to say it so loudly. Reaching his hands towards the broom.

Let me help, she still persisted. He gently withdrew the broom from her grasp when she walked away towards another section of her apartment, as his eyes followed her.

He disposed the shattered glass in the trash can, placing the mob and dustpan into the already opened storeroom.

In search of her, he returned to the living room area. noticing she had her back to him, curled up on her couch in a sitting position, fully wrapped in a blanket that matches the color of his shirt.

He stood behind her for minute before approaching.

Placing his hand on her shoulder as he walks to the side of the couch. She shivers at his touch just enough for it to go unnoticed while still looking down.

Seating next to her, he tries to get her attention. Helen, she did not respond. I'm sorry.... As he questioned. Are you okay? Placing her right palm on her forehead, displaying a tiny discomfort. She muttered, I have a minor headache. ‘Um, do you have any pain relievers? Instantly patted his forehead after, quickly realizing she wouldn't be able to take it seeing that she was drinking. Hastily corrects himself, do you want me to make you some tea? she fixes her gaze on him.

Please let me make you tea, while he makes his usual puppy eyes at her.

She gave her approval with a nod. Where are your…...? Instructing him with a finger while drawing the blanket back up to her shoulders. He stood up lively, walking towards her kitchen, absolutely taken aback by how tidy and organized her apartment looked.

Already knowing what kind of tea because they both enjoy it the same, reaching into the pantry for the box of tea bags on the lower shelf, pulling a cup from the washer and placing it on the hot water kettle. He spoons in 1/2 teaspoon of sugar exactly how she likes it. While leaning his back on the counter.

As he waited for the water to heat up, he indulged in his thoughts, gazing around her kitchen.

The whistling from the kettle stopped, with relieved he turned around, adding the hot water to the tea bag and returning to her,

With a wide smile on his face, he hands her the cup, she noticed he didn't have his wedding ban, she looked into his eyes as her hands extends to take the cup. He noticed that she noticed, with a little distance between them, he sat beside her in silence. 

on her third sip of tea, he glances at her and proceeded to apologize.

I should never have let you walk out that door, ‘I, I.... I have tried to hide this.  It's been hard,

It almost drove me completely insane. As she looked at him, intently listening 

I've tried to hold back, since the day we met.......................... It's been eating me alive knowing I felt this way while being married and had already started a family,

but I can't deny that I haven't felt this, not any more, he remarked, shaking his head.

For the longest time, I felt guilty, knowing I had felt this way about you,

if I let you slip out of my life, without trying, to fighting for us, I will not survive it, 

I see you, Helen. it’s just that sometimes it takes me a minute, to remember what matters more than anything, you.

He drew closer to her, as she sets the tea cup on the center table. Helen, 

I’m ready to fight. Fight for you, for Us. 

Every time you've been near me, I've wanted to do stuff to you, imagining what it would be like. 

You are undeniably BEAUTIFUL and sexy, and I need to have you, in all the ways I have been dreaming of.

She swallows her nonexistent saliva as he got closer. With her mouth partially open, uncontrollably batting her eyes at him. She searches his eyes, while he searches hers for permission, to touch her, intimately. Placing his left hand on the right side of the back of her neck sliding his fingers upward, gently holding on to her hair, a rush of adrenaline prickled her stomach, as he watched the whooshing of her breathing, thinking how soft on silky the growths of her hair felt.

She needed him to touched her, she needed to grip him closer, but her body was weak, weak to his touch. As they stared intensely at each other, their faces being only a few inches apart, tightening his grip on her hair, causing her to slightly tilted her head back, finally freeing of her temporary paralysis, she grabs hold to his muscular arm with her left hand, while clutching his side with her other hand.

He knew he was in charge, and she wanted him, his lips being a inch closer to hers, her eyelids, fill down slowly closing.

Their lips touch, as their bodies tingles, her chest rises, left her feeling like she had no air. The instant chemistry they felt, was uncontrollable. His thinking slowed when his lips met hers. Time becoming unknown, as if he were in a dream, how warm and crazily soft her lips were.

As they draw each other deeper and further into each other's sanctum, thrusting herself up with a knee for support. 

Has he pauses, looking intently into her eyes, slowly begin rolling her robe over her shoulder.

In complete awe of how clear and smooth her skin appears, while stirring her down. He notices she was wearing a black lace bra that matches her thong, which complemented her skin tone well, lost in her eyes, before entirely removing her robe. As she gets back up on both knees, yanking his jacket off, while he impatiently helped her to removed his shirt.

Unbuckling his belt, she unzip his jeans. Holding her by the lower portion of her cheeks, he punches his tongue into her mouth. Resting his back on the couch, hoisted her up on top of him.

feeling her body, with both his hands on her waist, recognizing how small it was in comparison to her hips, being considerably wider. She bends her knees and places her hands on the couch over his shoulder. As his tongue trails down her neck, while unclipping her bra, struggling a little.

Carefully pulling it off, her hands fill to her side, looking down at him, when he stroked her breast with his hands, causing her head to fall back uncontrollably, as a rush of adrenaline went to her vulva, gasping harder as he places his mouth over her tit, slowly sliding his hand into her thong concomitantly.

He gave her a look, realizing she was already lubricated, as she gasped for breath somewhat dropping her upper body backwards as his hand quickly supported her back, her mouth flew wide open, when he slid his index and middle finger in an upward motion on her clit.

She moaned loudly as he stroked it faster, her body slipping in and out of his grip, being a fraction of a second from an orgasm, he halted.

He hoisted her up positioning her back laying on the couch, with one of his hands intertwined with hers above her head. He opens her legs slightly with his bent knee, while she bends her knees up to give him access. Passionately kissing her while caressing her clit with his right fingers. Her heart races. As he drags his tongue in between her breasts, he releases her hands as he went down further, trailing his tongue towards her navel, causing her tummy to jerked.

He elevates his head up as he pulls himself down more to her vulva, while holding on to her hips. He tasted her, swiftly clinging to the cushion behind her, unable to keep her legs steady as he licks her clit. (she rapidly gasp for air).  

She weakly tries to pull him up, with her orgasm being at it’s peek, moving back towards her lips, as they exchanged sensual glances. Using his hands as a support to keep himself upright while holding on to his already-erected dick. He puts the blanket under her back to elevate her slightly.

Penetrating her. Max, she screamed, quivering and gasping for breath, as she looks deeply into his eyes, attempting to caress the side of his face, (while she bit her bottom lip, as he went in deeper, she clutches onto him.

His sweat drips on her skin, as he moans, they couldn’t get enough of each other.

As he penetrates deeper, harder and faster inside her, he tightens his grasp around her waist. As they drew closer, their moans became more even louder.

Fuck! he shouted as he ejaculated his semen into her, simultaneously in the instant of her orgasm relief. They both felt to the ground. Looking at each other, completely in awe. 

He extends his hand to the side of her face, pulling her in, to cuddled her.

[astersofthesky]

Reasons why I ship LawLight

It's been a year since I last watched Death Note and up to this day, it still remains on my TOP 5 FAVORITE ANIME (alongside Attack on Titan, Daiya no Ace, Gintama, and the Inazuma Eleven franchise).

Be as it is, the ship between L and Light holds a special place here in my heart. And today I want to talk about the reason why I am head over heels for this painstakingly beautiful ship.

For a quick heads-up. "LawLight" is a non-canon ship pair from Death Note. The two person involved are Yagami Light also known as "Kira" and the Great Detective L otherwise known as Ryuuzaki. I believe that their trope belongs to the enemies to lovers. They are also the most famous ship for the said fandom.

I admit that I am a certified fujoshi. So when scenes like walking together under falling sakura leaves, going to a cafe for their date to confirm their suspicions about each other's identity, and was even CHAINED 24/7 were shown, I can't help but ship them despite the fact that they are LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL AND CATCH EACH OTHER.

Actually for me, what makes this ship so appealing is their cat and mouse chase. A criminal and a detective. The spark and sexual tension apparent in their battle of wits. Who shall fall first? Who shall emerge victorious? And I firmly think that this dynamic between them is also one of the biggest factors why this anime/manga became such a success.

In the eyes of a shipper, some of their interactions are seen as a potential fuel to lit a burning flame called romance. Another thing, they also complement each other.

Why? Well, let's look at Yagami Light first.

Light used the notebook to alleviate his boring mundane life. Because of his high IQ, normal things don't ellicit excitement for him. Also, always hearing about everyday crimes, his strong sense of justice tells him to rid the world of this disgusting humans who continue to cause chaos for the world. So, immediately grabbing the death note as an opportunity to make his ideals a reality, KIRA IS BORN.

Of course, no matter how good the intention is. Taking lives is still a murder. And the fact that Light wanted to take advantage of the situation to become GOD OF THE NEW WORLD, it's true essence is slowly turning into selfishness. Just like any ordinary case, the police have taken interest, no, it's more accurate to say that they were FORCED to take interest. With no more cards to play, the worldwide police decided to ask help from their trump card. Yes, the world's greatest detective L.

Hiding in a single gothic letter and synthetic voice, Light had found his other half. The yin to his yang. Why you ask?

It's simple. L is the only person who can match his intelligence. Who can see through his barrage of lies and alibis. He was the only one who doubted him, the only one who almost sent him to his doom.

He was the ultimate obstacle Light needed to overcome. Because of this thrill, of this danger, Light found true challenge. Other than the joy of killing criminals for his dream, battling with L brought an unexpected bliss deep within his soul. Because of L, his once dull world had been painted with complicated colors. L is the only one who can understand Light.

He is his enemy.

He is his Equal.

He is his captor.

The same goes for L.

Being the number 1 detective in the world, I bet that cases has become repetitive for him. With his astounding deduction skills, he could immediately solve a case while eating his favorite sweets. Thus the appearance of Kira is a mystery for him.

A highly difficult game for him to solve and win. As he said himself, he is childish and he hates to lose. So in order to win, he's given away his identity. He steps out of his shadows and approached Kira himself. Maybe it's a call for responsibility, a call for justice, or a call for his pride, whatever his reason is, he's willing to risk his life.

When he made contact with Light, he had realized that Light is the only other person who can see through him. His trials, his tests. Light never fails to amaze and surprise L. He had even considered him his successor, even though he only used it to test Light, with the latter quickly grasping the subtle accusation.

He is his enemy.

He is his captee.

He is Equal.

No one knows if their relationship had gone beyond detective and a criminal. If they ever had a genuine conversation. One without lies and hidden intention.

A talk as L and Light.

Looking at a watcher's perspective. A single particular scene showed a glimpse of their relationship. The rooftop and foot massage scene who fueled a lot of LawLight shippers.

"The bells are unusually loud today." - L

At the rooftop, L had asked Light if he had ever uttered a truth once in his life. With Light regaining his memories, L knows that this attempt is futile, yet he still tries. And maybe, even held a little hope that Light would surrender himself.

Light on the other hand, as expected caught the meaning of his question, within that short silence, he contemplated his answer even if it's just for mere seconds. But because Light had already steeled his resolve, he chose to lie.

He had already made a choice.

And that is to kill L.

And L himself knows it.

At the stairs, an intimate scene between them is shared. Both are drenched in the rain, then L suddenly offered a foot massage to Light. For non-shippers, they say that it's a Bible reference.

But for people like me, it's simply nothing but a bittersweet moment where for once, emotions are stirred and shared.

The atmosphere, their longing stares.

Light drying L's hair.

The exchange of words.

It truly is a very painful and touching picture.

"It will be lonely isn't it? You and I will be parting ways soon".

L is known for not showing his true emotions. Yet in here, he bares everything. From the way he looks at Light and that slight curve on his mouth, like he's very regretful of something. Maybe it's because he wasn't able to personally give him the verdict or it can also be what ifs and what would they have become if they didn't meet in this kind of circumstances.

On Light, he looked shock and somewhat sad. They say it was an act, but the knowledge of his arch-nemesis soon dying, the one who has been with him since this "chase" started, the one being who gave him thrill and pushed him to his limits, the one who for months, was chained with him 24/7, the only one who could stand as his equal, the one who made him feel, losing that person will surely give you mixed emotions, and I believe that the sadness there is genuine, even though it had been overshadowed by his delight for victory.

It was only a for a short moment but for once, they've dropped all facades as they face each other as L and Light, not Ryuuzaki and Kira.

After L's death, Light is shown to have lose some of his sanity. I've read in a site before telling that L was the one who's holding his ground. And with him gone, with the thrill of danger gone, Light suddenly found himself at loss. He spent months trying to rid of his enemy. His disappearance had caused a void in his heart.

I remember a certain scene where Light imagined L sitting at his usual chair. His eyes were dead and devoid of color. That's where he also started to lower his guard down. For him, L is his only formidable opponent, his other half. He is his equal. It proves with the appearance of Near, where Light says that he's far inferior to L. That he doesn't deserve to wear his mask.

Light had come to respect L.

In Light's final moments, he sees L. A hallucination some says. But they're missing a point here.

The fact that L showed up, either his soul or an imagination, means that he had become an important figure to Light. Maybe he was thinking what L said during the times that they are wearing the chains.

"As long as we are wearing this chains. You and I are bound to share the same fate. If you die, I die." - L Lawliet

Yes, the chains are gone, physically. But because Light had allowed L to become an important piece of his life, he had secured the chain for L to held him captive for as long as he's alive...and if you let your imagination wild, even after death.

This are the reasons why I fell in love with this ship.

They're both broken.

One is blinded by power.

One had secluded himself from the outside world.

Their chase will never be forgotten. A game that only the two of them understood knowing from the beginning that they will never achieve a happy ending. This painful and bittersweet ship will go down in history.

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 18

Silver is the color of the moon.

*The next day*

Everyone was at Catarina's apartment, pacing in her living room or fidgeting with their dresses while waiting for Alec to arrive. Before Alec went to the forest for the awakening of his powers they decided to set the get-together at Catarina's place the next day so that they could comfortably discuss about his new powers and his feelings towards it. But things took a turn when Jace told them about what happened and the silver glow of his Parabatai rune. Now, they were all worried about Alec and were getting impatient by every passing second.

The awakening of his powers was a little overwhelming for Alec, Angel Ithuriel had been there for him the whole day and told and taught him about his new powers. He guided him and assigned him one of his winged nephilim for his further training as he's the new winged nephilim and also provided him with a way to contact him. Alec was somewhat glad that he got ahold of his new powers quickly, though his shoulders still hurt a little but it's better now. He still needed to get used to his new appendages, but he knew that he would in some time.

As he reached Catarina's apartment, he rang the bell. Catarina quickly opened the door with her magic, as soon as he walked in every eye was on him with a worried expression on their faces.

"Why are you all looking at me like that!?" He asked, uncomfortable with being the attention of the room.

"Alec!" Max yelled with excitement, ran towards him, and hugged him tightly.

"Hey, Max!"

"Alec, are you okay? We were all worried about you!" Maryse said and hugged her son tightly.

Alec returned the embrace. "Yes, mom. I'm fine. Why are you all so worried about me?" He asked, confused.

"Alec, your shirt! It's torn in the back, what happened, big brother?" Izzy asked worriedly.

"Umm.. that! That's for the wings! On that note, Catarina, I'll be needing your help to make space for it and glamor them. I can't keep tearing my clothes!" Catarina nodded. "Why are you all so worried, though?" He asked.

"Alec, our... our Parabatai rune.. it glowed in silver! I've been feeling restless since then.. are you okay, buddy?" Jace's voice was filled with concern making him sigh.

"That's because I am. I trained the whole day with Angel Ithuriel!"

As on cue, Catarina summoned a comfortable settee for Alec, more sofas for everyone and they all settled down.

"Thank you, Cat!" Alec stretched out on the settee, ignoring the crowd.

"That still doesn't answer the silver glow, kid, what about that?" Luke asked.

"I guess that's because my powers and wings are silver. Okay, it still sounds weird!" Alec sighed again, it's gonna take a hell lot of time to get used to it.

"You.. have silver wings.." Jace trailed off as his jaw fell open.

"By the angel, big brother! I still can't process it!" Izzy blinked in astonishment.

"Can you show them to us, Alec?" Max asked excitedly. Even as a teenager, he was still a kid.

Alec looked at Max, then his whole family, and they all had the same glint of excitement in their eyes. "Okay, but I need some space!"

He stood up and walked towards the center of the living room, making sure there's nothing breakable or sharp around him. Once he was sure he's in a clear space, he closed his eyes and focused on his wings, his shoulder blades pained a little, his skin cracked beside them, but didn't bled this time, soon enough a pair of huge appendages were hanging on his sides.

He opened his eyes and saw that his whole family was looking at him with awe and astonishment. Their jaws were on the floor, literally.

A loud gasp broke their trance, which was from Simon. They all looked at him but he was still looking at Alec. "Alec, your... your eyes.. it's..-"

"Silver!" Jace finished for him, earning a collective gasp from everyone.

"Wow!" Max and Clary said in unison.

"Sorry to break the moment but, I've never heard about angels being silver, from whatever I've read in that book, is it normal?" Catarina asked, curiosity visible in her voice. With being a downworlder, seeing a literal angel standing in front of her was beyond unimaginable.

"It's rare, but it is." Alec answered and explained to them everything that Angel Ithuriel had told him.

Everyone was speechless, not knowing how to respond but their eyes were talking for them.

"Can I touch them?" Max asked curiously, breaking the silence of the room.

"Of course, young boy!"

Max quickly ran towards him and reached his hand up to the feather he could, then traced it gently. It was soft and silky under his touch, it fluttered when Max ran his palm around it and curled itself around Max's body.

"Woah!" Max squealed.

"I'm just hugging you, Max, relax." Alec said with a broad smile on his face and ruffled his brother's hair.

"Ugh! Alec!" Max protested and everyone burst into laughter.

"Can I sit now? I'm tired." Alec said as he concealed his wings again, and eyes turned back to their natural hazel shade.

Everyone nodded and they settled back in their respective seats. That's when Catarina realized something.

"Wait! Alec, are you comfortable on the settee? Your wings must be glamoured but they could be hurting-"

"Cat, relax! They aren't glamoured, they're inside my body next to my shoulder blades and spine."

"Wait, what?" Jace asked, panic creeping inside him. Others were mirroring his expressions.

"Okay, relax all of you. I could glamor them too, but this is also a way to hide them."

"Alec, I'm confused, honey, how could those huge pairs of wings fit inside.." Maryse trailed off, shock and panic visible in her eyes.

"Mom, everyone, relax. They aren't huge when they're inside." Alec took a deep breath and continued. "Okay, I'll explain from the start. As Angel Ithuriel told me, and I said earlier, there are two ways to hide the wings, I could glamor them, but they'll still be there, which will be uncomfortable for me whenever I'll sit or lay down or when I'm in small space.

The other way is to shrink and minimize them back into my body, from where they originate, next to my shoulder blades and spine. There's a permanent scar over that area now, and if you focus on it you can see the tiny miniaturized wings there. It's painful in the beginning but with practice and time, the pain will fade away. It's more comfortable like this, I don't have to struggle with them at least. It's weird right now, but he said by time it'll become my second nature." Alec concluded, and looked at his family, they were all relaxed now.

"That's why my back is hurting and feeling heavy." Jace said, who was trying to adjust his shoulders for a long time.

"He's been like this since yesterday, Alec. He's restless and didn't even sleep properly." Clary said, worry clearly visible in her voice for her boyfriend.

"Don't listen to her, Alec, I slept fin... how's the pain suddenly gone and I'm feeling better, like strong and refreshed and energetic. How?" He looked at his Parabatai with curious eyes.

Everyone looked between them with surprised expressions on their faces. Alec looked at his Parabatai and smiled.

"I just focused on my Parabatai rune, then Iratze, Nourishment, Stamina, and calm anger rune." Alec shrugged. Everyone's eyes went wide.

"Hold on, What? How did you do that without using stele?" Jace asked.

"just like you do, idiot. the only difference here is that we can activate each other's rune instead of only ours. first focus on our Parabatai rune then the one you want to activate."

"Okay...." Jace said, unsure then closed his eyes and focused on his runes.

"Seriously, Jace! Clarity rune?" Alec shook his head.

"Okay.... Now that's pretty cool!"

"You were worried about our Parabatai bond earlier, right? Well, to answer your questions, our bond got stronger than before because of my powers, we can activate each other's runes without using stele, but it had to be used only in battles or emergencies and is only possible when we're together. I did it to show you how it works."

Everyone's jaws were on the ground as they witnessed their conversation.

"By the angel! That's amazing! But, not fair, you both are going to be stronger than me and Clary." Izzy fake pouted, earning Alec's legendary eye roll.

"That made me remember, where's my stele?" Alec asked and Izzy handed him his stele.

"Jace, come here." Alec said in his Inquisitor tone and Jace obeyed. Alec activated his stele and drew a rune on the back of Jace's arm, he asked him to activate his stele and draw the same rune on him, he was confused but did as he was told.

"Angel Ithuriel provided me this rune, it's a rune only for Parabatais, it got lost centuries ago. It's called lost sight. If there's an emergency or danger and we're not together, you can activate this rune and I will be able to see through your eyes and will be able to know and track your location." Jace was completely dumbfounded and so were the others.

"Alec! I.. I can't believe it.. I.." Jace stuttered, he didn't know why but he had tears in his eyes.

"Seriously, Jace! I told you we're always going to be Parabatais, no matter what!" He kept his stele down on the table and wrapped his brother in a tight hug.

Everyone had smiles on their faces.

"That's so cool! What else can you do Alec?" Max asked, still curious about his brother's new powers.

"Alec, do you have more power? This was already too much to process, sweetheart." Maryse said with concern and tiredness.

"Ah, yeah.. I kind of do, Mom. Cat, can you summon as many plants as possible in this living room?"

Catarina nodded and filled the whole room with different kinds of plants. From small to large of different varieties. "Alec, I'm confused as hell right now, my whole room is filled with plants. What are you up to?"

"Calm down, Cat! Also, can you and Simon stay back for this? This could hurt you both if you stay up close."

The two downworlders exchanged a look and stood as far as possible, not knowing what Alec was up to. When Alec was sure they were as far as they could get, he focused his mind and energy on the plants surrounding him. His eyes went icy silver again, and a thread of bluish silver started dancing on his finger tips.

He stretched his hands out and created a small ball of energy, the faint blues and silver interwining with each other. The whole room was filled with calming surroundings, it was peaceful and the ball was like a calming trance of everyone except for Catarina and Simon.

"Alec, please stop!" Simon begged, he and Cat were trying to move backwards as much as they could. The energy of the ball was creating a severe headache for him.

"Sorry!" He focused again and scattered the energy in all the plants. His eyes went back to normal again.

"W.. What happened? That power.. it was.." Maryse trailed off, her eyes were hazy and she felt like she was in some other world.

"Mom! Oh god! I should've asked you to stay back too. I'm sorry! Are you okay?" He ran towards her and helped Luke in sitting her down. She looked between them in confusion.

"Alec, what happened to her? That energy, it felt like.."

"Peaceful and.. and calming." Izzy said.

"And nice!" Clary added.

"For nephilims, yes it's like how you're describing it, but for mundanes, it's the same but much stronger. Mom, are you okay? I'm sorry." He asked, worry and guilt filled in his eyes.

"Yes, Alec I'm fine, just a little dizzy. Don't apologize, honey, it's fine, I'm okay." She reassured him.

"And I guess for us downworlders, or demons, it's dangerous and deadly." Simon said.

Everyone looked at them and gasped. Simon had his fangs out and Catarina was in her true form, her blue skin visible with long white hair snaking around her.

"By the angel! Simon, Catarina, I'm so sorry!"

Once Catarina was in control of her magic again, she glamoured herself and vanished all the plants. Simon had glamoured his fanga as well then they walked forward

"It's okay Alec, I'm fine. We both are. But, magic? There was no mention of that in the book. So how do you possess?" Catarina asked curiously.

"I do have it but it's only when I'm around nature. But it's nothing like what you, Magnus or other warlocks possess. From what Angel Ithuriel told me, not every angel has magic, it's rare to find angels with full magic. Guess I got lucky." Alec shrugged.

"Wait, Alec, so you can fly too, right?" Simon asked, knowing it was a dumb question, but he still asked, earning a look of disbelief from everyone.

"Yes, Simon, I can, but I'm still learning it. Angel Ithuriel had told me some basics but he had assigned me another winged shadowhunter for my further training. He has provided me with his details and how I can reach him."

Everyone's eyes went wide with the revelation. "How many immortal shadowhunters are out there, which no one knows about!?" Luke asked.

"Angel Ithuriel told me I'm the fifth one. Kasper, the one which I've researched was the first one. I don't know about the one who's going to train me, maybe he can tell me more."

"And what's that angel's name?" Jace asked, a hint of jealousy clear in his tone.

Alec suppressed his smile. With their bond becoming stronger, he could feel his jealousy clearly. "His name is Daniel Nightstorm."

"Nightstorms? Their line ended decades ago. They were never heard of anymore." Maryse said, a little surprised by this piece of information.

"I think we should call it a day, now. This is all a lot to process in, even for Alec." Luke said, and everyone nodded.

They all hugged Alec once again and said their goodbyes. Alec stayed at Catarina's to get some rest properly for sometime then with her help he made space for his wings in all of his clothes which he brought and Catarina glamoured them in that area.

The rest of the day was like a blur for him, he attended the meeting which they preponed which as usual went not so interesting, then completed the paperwork he was supposed to for his inquiry visit. By the time he was done it was late at night but he didn't care, he wanted to get back to his husband, his home. His family argued with him that he could leave the next morning but he eventually won and said his goodbyes to his family and left for Idris.

*****************************

As Alec stood beside his apartment door, he took a nervous deep breath. He didn't get a chance to talk to Magnus that day and his husband didn't know that he was coming back late at night so it'll be a nice surprise for him. He took a deep breath again and opened the door.

As soon as he entered the apartment his nostrils filled with a foul smell which was floating in the whole apartment which was dimly lit. He took in the state of the room which felt like it wasn't cleaned in decades, there were several half empty or full packets of take out scattered on the floor, some leftovers of food were placed on the coffee table and the glass table near the couch, broken shards of numerous glasses were scattered on the kitchen floor and in center of the living room, a empty bottle of whiskey was kept on the kitchen slab. He took in the scene and sighed heavily, rubbing the crease formed on the bridge of his nose.

He looked around and spotted water bamboo on one shelf. To his advantage they both were nature lovers and had many house plants in their apartment like Oxalis, Aloe Vera, Snake plant, different types of ferns and Anthurium. He focused on the lot at once, extracted their mixed scents and spread it in the whole apartment replacing the foul smell. He sighed then started walking towards their bedroom, avoiding the scattered shards of glasses.

"Magnus!? Mags!?" He shouted, his voice echoing on the whole apartment filled with dullness.

He opened his bedroom door and his eyes widened with horror. His husband was curled around in the center of the bed, sheets and pillows scattered around the floor,  eyes  bloodshot with his makeup all smudged and flowing down. His hair was down and messy and the man was completely naked, looking paler, lacking his usual natural glow. Alec's heart raced badly as he sprinted and sat beside Magnus.

"Magnus!? Mags? Love, wake up." From up close he could see that his lips were cracked and bleeding, and it looked like he hadn't taken a shower in days.

"Angels!! Magnus? Mags, wake up love. Please."

Magnus stirred, his eyes were heavy and he could taste metal in his mouth.

"Magnus? Hey, wake up love."

Magnus blinked his eyes when he spotted a figure next to him.

"A.. Alexander?" His voice was rough and croaky from his dry throat.

"Mags! Hey, what happened here?"

He blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "Alexander... W.. Water... I..."

Before he could complete Alec was back with water and some soaked cotton balls in his hands. He put it on the side table and helped his husband to sit properly, then cleaned the blood with the help of cotton balls. After making sure there was no blood on his lips he helped him with water.

"Slowly, Mags!" His eyes were filled with worry the whole time.

"M.. More.."

He filled the glass with more water and placed it on his lips. His fast heart beats refusing to slow down. "Magnus!? How long has it been since you've eaten anything or drank water?" He asked softly, voice laced with concern.

Once Magnus was in his full senses with enough water in his system, realization dawned on him. He lowered his eyes, unable to meet his shadowhunter's.

"Mags!" He said softly and placed his hand gently on his husband's cheeks. Magnus couldn't hold it any longer and tears started running down his cheeks.

Alec quickly placed the glass on the table and wrapped his husband in a tight hug. He winced in pain when Magnus unknowingly tightened his grip just above his left wing scar. He suppressed it down and let his warlock cry on his shoulders.

Magnus didn't know what to do, he couldn't meet his shadowhunter's eyes but he needed him, badly. 'What have I done!? How am I supposed to tell you that I..I kissed.. Camille.. that I.. I cheated.. No! It was Camille.. b.. but I got weak.. I let my guards down. I'm not ready to lose you. I can't. Not again. I don't know if I could, but if not telling you means having you for long enough, I'll add it to my existing pile of secrets.' he thought.

When Magnus' crying slowed down, Alec held his face in his hands and placed his lips softly above his eyes and pecked them gently.

"Magnus? What happened here? Are you okay now?"

"I.. Alexander.. I.." He sniffed, not knowing what to say but he couldn't keep everything from him. He could tell him half the truth, leaving the part where he cheated on his precious Alexander.

"Mags, look at me!" He spoke softly. "What happened, love?"

Magnus looked at him but still couldn't meet his eyes. "C.. Camille happened."

Alec's eyes widened with the information. Several thoughts started running through his mind. "What!? Was.. was she here? Did she hurt you?"

"No, I was at a client's.. when she... she's a vampire again, way more stronger.. more.." he trailed off and started crying again. "I'm sorry, Alexander!"

"Magnus, there's nothing to apologize for. I'll kill her if I see her again." He seethed with anger and wrapped his husband in a tight, comforting hug. He knew his husband was vulnerable right now, and Camille would have tried her way to get to him. Whatever she has done, she'll definitely pay for it.

He broke their hug when he felt his warlock getting relaxed under his touch.

"When did it happen, Magnus?"

"Th... this evening, seven to eight hours ago."

Alec sighed. "And you haven't eaten anything since then?"

Magnus shook his head, fidgeting with his husband's fingers absentmindedly, which were placed on his lap.

"Love, whatever she did, don't overthink it, okay. I'll make dinner for us."

"No, Alexander, I'm fine, there's no.."

"Magnus! I'm going to make dinner, you rest, okay?"

Magnus nodded, he couldn't bring himself to tell him the whole truth. Alec quickly prepared a dinner of spaghetti with meatballs for them and  took it to his husband, with a glass of juice for him. He fed his husband properly then helped him to clean up and changed him into more fresh and comfortable clothing. He himself changed into his night dress and cuddled closely to his husband.

"A.. Alexander, I.. I'm sorry, I was.. the apartment, I couldn't..." he was unable to form a proper sentence, he wanted to be with his shadowhunter, but the guilt was strong.

"Shh, Mags. It's okay. I don't care about the apartment, we'll clean it tomorrow. All I care about is you. Just sleep, okay. You need proper rest."

Magnus nodded and snuggled into his husband's chest, needing all the touch he could get from his shadowhunter. Alec kissed him on the top of his head, stroking his thick silky hair gently, he tangled their legs together and wrapped his arms tightly around his waist. He kept stroking his hair until his warlock slept peacefully beside him then he dozed off to sleep himself.

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

One time when Deacon and I went to a gas station or something and he said "great, I've been holding it in for mile" or something like that. Now I'm wondering how exchanges like this go when companions need a bathroom break. Peeing is easier since they're guys but toilets aren't always available so they'd probably have to pop a squat in the wastes lol. I bet it's super awkward to tell sole they "gotta go" when they're newly recruited and don't know each other very well 😂(1/2)

I can already imagine sole just fucking with them by saying dumb shit like "don't forget to wipe" or "make sure you give it a few shakes before we go"😂. (I know, I'm immature😁) Anyway how do newly recruited companions(+Preston) handle bathroom situations out in the wastes? Bonus if sole messes with them a bit while they just kinda stand around on look out and waits for him to finish his business lmfao😭. (2/2)end

??? idk if i don’t play fallout enough but i never noticed these little dialogues ?? 😭 i’ve always wondered how the characters in fallout use the restroom cs god knows that they can’t hold that bitch in all day. i just wrote this based off of my opinion. thank you for requesting! i hope you don’t mind that i kept it somewhat general. ❤️

i removed nick from this scenario because i doubt he’s physically able to use the restroom anyway.

-

Danse:

danse is very, very embarrassed to use the restroom anywhere besides the prydwen, the cambridge police station, or the boston airport. he just thinks having his pants down in the middle of a forest or an abandoned restroom leaves him vulnerable to many hazards that could occur at any given second, so he’d absolutely refuse to use the restroom until the next safest destination. he’d try his very best to hold his business in, refraining from showing any signs of discomfort so sole wouldn’t question him. if he really couldn’t hold it in any longer, he’d shyly call out for sole who would divert their attention immediately towards their now blushing companion. “yes, paladin?” they would watch as his eyes traveled everywhere but at them. “i, uh, need to use the restroom.” sole would let out a small, “oh”, before looking around and pointing at a red rocket station nearby. “cmon, lets get moving. don’t want you to piss your pants on me halfway through the mission.” he would grumble, his face growing more crimson at soles comment, “that was highly unnecessary, soldier.” they would only let out a hearty chuckle as they made their way towards red rocket. he’d quickly do his business and be on his way out, avoiding eye contact with sole for a few moments. they would laugh at his behavior, only causing the paladin to blush more. maybe he shouldn’t have left cambridge.

Deacon:

deacon is the opposite of danse. he’s far from embarrassed with using the restroom, knowing that everyone needs to do their business. it was a part of human nature after all, so why would he be ashamed? besides, let’s face it, he’d probably fart in sole’s face for all we fucking know. if they made a stop at somewhere with a restroom, he’d probably tell sole that he was gonna go take a bathroom break and make some stupid exaggerated fart noises with his mouth while he was in the restroom. if they were no where near a restroom and he couldn’t hold it in any longer, he’d simply point to the bushes nearby and notify sole that he was gonna drop a big one as a joke. they’d laugh, nudging him on the side. “make sure to wipe, im sure there’s some stray leaves there to assist you.” they teased, watching him head over to the bushes. he’d push his glasses up before shrugging playfully, “i dunno charmer, last time i did that, got a huge rash on my ass that wouldn’t go away. carrington had to check on it every week to make sure it didn’t get worse.” sole rolled their eyes, facing forward so they can keep watch. they didn’t know if it was a lie or truth but then again, they wouldn’t be surprised if it was either.

Hancock:

hancock’s probably also not embarrassed with using the restroom. maybe he’d be more conscious if he was dropping a number 2, but a number 1 was nothing to him. he’d prefer to use the restroom in privacy but he also wouldn’t really give a fuck using it in the wilderness if there was no other option. hell, he couldn’t care less if someone snapped a photo of him shitting in a hole. if he were to approach sole about it in the middle of nowhere, he’d keep it calm and casual, simply telling them he needed to go take a piss. sole would nod at him with a teasing smirk, “make sure to give it a few shakes before you go. we wouldn’t want anything leaking down there.” hancock laughed before winking at sole. “that’s not the only thing that leaks through there.” sole would blush, not used to his flirtatious and provacative comments yet but would friskily shove him further into the forest with a small chuckle. “go before i change my mind about keeping watch and let the yao guai’s eat you themselves.” he’d still keep that stupid smile on his face as he walked in deeper. “love the enthusiasm, sister/brother.”

Maccready:

he hates having sole around whenever he needs the restroom, whether in the wilderness or in a more secure area. he knows it’s a normal thing to do to get through the day but he can’t help but feel shy whenever he needs it. the thought of someone being around while he’s doing his business doesnt sit right with him, so majority of the day, he’ll either suck it up or do it when he knows sole will be distracted for a bit or sleeping. he probably would never bring it up himself, even if he really needed it. eventually, they would notice his discomfort while they were in the middle of no where and ask if he’s okay. “i’m fine. just need the restroom but i can wait.” he’d lie, trying to act as normal as he possibly could. “you can go, you know. i won’t judge,” he watched as sole raised a brow, an amused smile playing on their face, “we smell like shit already, i don’t need you adding onto it.” maccready would blush profusely and cross his arms like a child throwing a tantrum, “shut up, you’re not helping.” they would shrug and continue walking ahead of him, “fine. suit yourself, i doubt there’s a bathroom around. we’re probably like a thousand miles away from the nearest toilet.” eventually, mac wouldnt be able to hold it in any longer and would scurry off to the trees nearby to which sole laughed at. he’d glare at them childishly, “i’d like some privacy, please.” sole would turn around, much to maccreadys comfort and kept watch, “whatever floats your boat, mac.”

Gage:

when i say this man doesn’t give a fuck, i absolutely mean it with all my heart. if he has to piss at the top of trinity tower, then so be it. he’s not shy at all with announcing his needs to go use the restroom and would just go without notifying sole majority of the time. he wouldn’t care if he knew sole for a day, week, or 50 years from now, he would still do his own business anywhere and everywhere he wanted to. there would be at one point of their relationship where sole wouldn’t even have to ask where he’s going, they would just naturally know by instinct. their only request was to do it as far away as possible from them, to which gage obliged. some days, sole would pull out a joke before he headed to his destination, “make sure the radroaches don’t bite your ass, wouldn’t want to treat that.” he’d scoff before slinging his rifle over his shoulder, returning their joke with another. “doubt it’d be like that boss. the smell will have them runnin’ instead.” sole would snicker, wiping off the bloodstains off of her switchblade. of course gage would say something like that.

Preston:

naturally, preston is often shy about it but isn’t afraid to confront sole. he knows it’s unhealthy to hold it in and wants to ensure that he doesn’t get himself sick from doing it, so he tries to use it whenever he feels the urge to. the only time he’ll really hold it in is if they’re being attacked or in a dangerous situation. preston is fine with using restrooms in buildings, but will absolutely refuse to do his business in the wilderness. there’s just no absolute way he’ll do that, he’d rather just hold it in until they reach the nearest building. if he were to confront sole about it, he’d just shyly request that they’d stop by the nearest building with a restroom to do his business. sole would flash him a grin and accommodate his needs, looking at their pip boy for the nearest area. preston would probably thank them the whole time for going through the trouble just to ensure his comfort but they’d wave it off. before he’d enter the restroom, sole would look over their shoulder, a shiteating smile plastered on their face, “know how to aim or you’ll make it rain.” he’d blush embarrassingly but awkwardly smiled back as an attempt to be polite, “i’ll, um, be sure to, general.” they’d chuckle and gesture for him to go do his thing.

[ma-gic-gay]

A few hours, two kisses, and one nap later, he begins plotting his escape. It mainly consists of signing a discharge form and then hunting down Cyrus. Then, he'll kill him. Fairly simple, and does provide a good distraction from the chaos his personal life has become. His business/mob life has been fairly normal, no new competitors yet.

"What are you planning?" Carly asks, looking up from the iPad she's probably planning Morgan's return from the dead party on.

"How long until I can get out of here?" Hospital rooms inspire him to run very far away from them. They keep him cooped up, they're boring as all hell, and there's really no choice as to who can walk in at any given time.

"Probably tomorrow," she answers and he groans. "It's not the end of the world, Jason. It's one more night in a hospital bed." Debatable. It's a whole twelve hours, minimum.

"Or I could just sign my discharge form now and break out of here."

"No, you need to stay at least for tonight. Break out tomorrow."

"I don't want to."

"Just let them monitor you. Sleep. You won't be able to do much out there anyways. I'm pretty sure the doctors are going to tell you to relax and take it easy, which means taking a short leave of absence. Brando can handle it for a few more days."

"There could be a takeover-"

"Not without any talk. Come on, if I thought there was any threat, I'd be breaking you out of here myself," she reminds him. "Take a nap."

"I'm not sure that's the best decision." Actually, it's more time that he'd be a suspect in Cyrus's murder (that, rest assured, he will commit) and more time Cyrus gets to breathe the same air as him. "Stop the thoughts about it being unsafe because you're not going to be able to do anything. You're recovering from surgeries and a gunshot wound."

"I'm perfectly capable of doing everything," he responds, fidgeting again with the stupid IV. He'll break that thing out of him if that's what it takes.

"I'm sure you are, but stop pouting. Sleep. Take a nap. Enjoy your break from reality for a day or two and just relax," Carly reasons. You know it's bad when Carly's being the reasonable one.

"This isn't pouting, it's captivity."

"No one's holding you captive."

"I'm being forced to be in a room against my will. This could be a hostage situation," he says dramatically.

"Well, as cute as your pouting is, you're spending the night. Take a nap. Enjoy it," she smiles. "Oh, and by the way, you're not killing Cyrus."

There's a lot to take in there but we'll start with the obvious: "I didn't even say I was planning on it."

She rolls her eyes, "You didn't have to, I can see the plan formulating in your mind. No murder. Cyrus will live for the rest of his miserable life in prison without you sending someone to rough him up or kill him."

Sometimes it's a shame how well she knows him. It genuinely sucks sometimes because she can read him like a book. No matter how successful he is at hiding everything from, well, pretty much everyone else, she just rolls her eyes and lets him know exactly what he's doing. Half the time, she knows before he does. The other half, she's informing him it's normal to express your emotions.

"I don't think he should even be able to walk around," he admits, struggling somewhat to voice the hatred he feels for the other mobster. "I've wanted to kill the guy for years, ever since I laid eyes on him. Going after you, kidnapping and raping you as some sort of sick revenge against me was the last straw."

"It was stupid to go after me and he'll pay. For the rest of his life, he'll be in prison. Solitary, you said. He can't run his business in solitary. Cyrus will never be able to hurt me or anyone else again," Carly says, grasping his hand and squeezing it. "He's a piece of shit. I look forward to the day he's in jail, serving his sentence. But it's probably going to be a few weeks."

"Which provides plenty of opportunity-"

"He lives. You're not going to jail because of him, Jason. Cyrus isn't worth it, alright? I don't care if he dies tomorrow. If you go to jail, I'll have to break you out of there myself and that probably won't go too well," she laughs at that. "So, save us all the paperwork and don't kill him. Besides, I confronted him."

She- confronted- "You did what? Carly, that is a man who could kill you and threatened to! He's very much capable of keeping that threat! Did you want to die?"

What inspired her to go confront her kidnapper/rapist? What made her think that was the sane thing to do while he was unconscious in a hospital bed?! She could've died and he can't have that happening because it'd be his fault. It's also such an ugly thought he can't stand to think of it. Carly cannot die.

"I brought guards, I threatened him, I yelled and screamed, I also cried for a while," she summarizes. "And to answer your question, I don't have a death wish. There's children I have to take care of and I'm not done complicating your life yet. I've got at least ten more years left in me."

"You confronted a man who could kill you."

"With guards, Jason."

"That doesn't make it okay! Carly, you can't act like there wasn't a good chance you could've died! You can't reason with people like Cyrus, you can't go in on your own."

"I. Brought. Guards."

"And they could've died too. He took out a whole group of them once, an entire warehouse of the Novak crew."

"You're acting like I didn't know what I was doing! I knew exactly what I was doing and it was either that or wonder if you'd live to tell me I'm being stupid again, Jason. Which choice would you have made?" Carly asks, tears building up in her eyes. No, he's mad, don't start crying. That'll make him sad. No crying, Carly, please don't. "I'm not so unknowledgeable when it comes to the business, you know."

"No, but you don't know how the business works. Things like that, impulsive things, they get people killed! They're the things that cause people to die and not the type you can come back from. You can't be doing things like that and pulling stunts like threatening Cyrus. He has nothing left to lose, which means he has everything to gain. If he can kill you, which is what he wants to do, that'll be a win for him and a final way to get back at me. That's what he wants and you're playing right into it." Jason exclaims. Emotional outbursts are rare for him, which probably made the point more clear. He hopes so. Losing her-

That's a thought almost too painful to bear thinking of.

"I was worried you would die! Jason, I couldn't spend another hour in this room or getting harassed by Sam. I needed to do something, make some statement," Carly argues and he shakes his head. Does she not get it? She could've died.

"And you couldn't go to work at the Metro Court? You had to go and confront a man who wants you dead almost as much as he wants me dead, Carly! It was stupid. You could've died."

"I was safe-"

"You don't get it! Doing that, no matter how many guards are there, isn't safe. I don't care if you had the place full with guards, he wants you six feet under and he wants me even further. What if he shot you? What if he hurt you? What if he killed you?" Emotions just seem to flow out of him like water does down a river at this point, anger and hurt and worry and sadness all combined into one.

"He didn't-"

"Not this time. Next time, he could. You could've gotten hurt or killed or shot at and I'm not going to be the reason for that."

"Well there won't be a next time."

"How can you be so sure about that, Carly? You don't control him. He's his own person; he does what he wants, exactly when he wants, exactly how he wants. And he could've hurt you."

"Every single time you agrees to one of those meetings with him or left to go, seemingly, anywhere, I thought the same thing. He's tried to get to you a million times. But you didn't die."

"I didn't die because I'm aware of the intricacies of the business! You're not and, as much as I'm grateful you're not, I can't have you running around picking fights with people who want you dead, who want me dead."

"Do you want a fake apology?" Carly snaps. "Do you want me to pretend like I didn't know that? I'm all too aware of the fact that everytime I leave the house, I could get shot at and die or that everytime I see you it might be the last time because of your line of work. I am intimately familiar with the anxieties of waiting in a hospital room to see if you're going to wake up or not from yet another injury. You're acting like it's my first day as someone who cares about people in your line of work and you're wrong. It's not. I knew damn well what I was doing and I know you would've done the same if they'd shot me."

Well. He didn't think of that. Anger sort of half drowns inside of him, flopping but still very much there at her beyond dumb move. "You're right. I would've killed him if he'd shot you or hurt you. But that doesn't make that you get to go out and pick fights with him because you're worried. It means you've got to be careful, stay in groups. It means-"

"Don't tell me what I should've done."

"What would you like me to do, congratulate you? Congratulations, Carly, you could've died! You could've died and if I woke up to that knowledge I don't know what I'd do."

"You'd keep surviving. Probably throw yourself into the business even more, to a point I don't think it'd be healthy." Carly shakily says, clearly having thought about it. "You'd tell Donna all about me when she started to forget I existed."

"You've thought of this?" Jason asks, incredulous. "You've thought about what I'd do if you died?"

"When we thought you were gone, I thought about what you would've done if roles were reversed."

There's a solid 20% chance she's pulling at his heartstrings right now to get sympathy and it's working. 100%. She could be completely playing him and he'd believe it at this point.

He hugs her as best as he can in the hospital bed. "I wasn't dead. You're not dead, thankfully. But you can't take risks with your life, not like that. Your kids need their mom. People need you. I'd miss you."

"How nice, I sobbed myself to sleep for weeks because you were gone and you'd miss me." Tugging at the heart, yet again.

"Oh come on, Carly. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, yeah I do."

It's a strange bond they've got (and a strange life he's got), but at least they can count on one thing: their friendship. Hence why kissing and stuff can't mean anything or complicate things. They've been in each other's lives so long, if they dated or something and it went south, he doesn't know if they could bounce back. And that's a terrifying thought, that they could be,,, not friends.

To be continued after I change my tampon and sleep because I'm fucking tired :)

@ryleighjosephine

[matthillica]

Pandemic - Day 355

This week marks 1 year since Covid was declared a Pandemic in the US.

As things began to shut down and the world changed before our eyes last March, I picked up this blog again thinking it would be interesting to document. At the time, although we hadn't told anyone yet, my wife was three months pregnant with our second child. My daughter was about to turn two. What better way, I thought, to show my kids what Covid was like than to document the pandemic's course as we muddled our way through daily uncertainty.

What I hadn't counted on was the duration and depth of the pandemic. I figured we'd be locked down in quarantine for three months, tops… maybe six if things were handled poorly. 

As the novelty of Covid and prepping pantries and Covid memes began to wear off, we learned more about how Covid is actually transmitted. That meant aspects of our lives went back to normal while other abnormal aspects became second nature. Fear subsided, somewhat. I no longer stressed as much about grocery store trips. We still wear masks everywhere, but aren't afraid of Covid lurking behind every corner. For the most part, we understand that by taking a few simple steps, we can protect ourselves and our family from this disease.

Then in May came George Floyd, which took a world already turned on its head and lit a fire underneath it. A summer of protests against police brutality followed, then the politicization of masks, racial tension, and the most heated election cycle in my memory, all capped off by a coup attempt… the year we found ourselves living through became about so much more than just a pandemic.

The overwhelming was soon mired in disinformation and propaganda and the overwhelming-ness of it all became too overwhelming to even care about documenting, even for posterity.

I quit updating. Who gave a shit anyway? Certainly not me. I had bigger fish to fry than documenting the slow motion train wreck. I shared pics from my Instagram when I felt like it. I helped my Mom move from Kansas to Atlanta and then we packed up and moved to a new house ourselves. This was a welcome distraction from the horrible world, but Covid never really leaves your consciousness. It's always there, especially in weird, unexpected moments. This guy is trying to talk to me and he's getting too close but I don't want to offend him. I just filled up with gas and I'm all out of hand sanitizer, so I drive home reminding myself not to touch my face for the entire 15 minute ride. Mom wants to go to the salon, but I’m worried about exposure because my wife and her father are both high risk and I’m afraid to offend her by saying something. You're always thinking about it. How could you not? Covid is always there, always forcing you to adjust your life and habits around it.

With over 500,000 dead at this point in the US alone, the story of our little pandemic lives seemed so miniscule and, quite frankly, blessed. Sure, we'd lost income due to my unemployment, but our family managed to stay healthy (so far) and happy and together. We had it so much better than so many.

But then I have days like today where small things just rip me apart.

I got my car stuck in the mud in our backyard trying to unload a toolbox in our basement the other day and now I can't get it out of the goddamn grass. It's now sat there for three days while I waited for the ground to dry out so I could try again. I decided this morning to try and get it out by laying a cardboard path of old moving boxes. It was a massive failure that only succeeded in creating more muddy ruts, my car even more stuck now than it was this morning.

I sat in my driver's seat this morning… yelling at my stupid tires and two-wheel-drive, pounding on the steering wheel; the weight of all these little thoughts and worries crashing in around me. My daughter's entire second year was spent inside a fucking house. My son is already getting his first teeth and has only met six people. My hands have been cracked and bleeding for 12 months from constant hand washing. I haven't had a haircut in a year. I haven't seen some of my closest friends in over a year. I have a niece in Las Vegas who I was supposed to meet in March 2020 when she was four months old… now she's walking and talking. My friend lost her uncle and father to Covid in the same month. My other friend has been suffering with Covid for almost two months. My brother caught Covid in September shadowing home inspections to become a certified inspector because MGM’s shows were all closed. I haven't seen my father in a year and he’s 71 and lives by himself. The last time we were together (a year ago this week) he helped me buy a handgun for protection. Political division, social unrest, and America's tenuous grip on democracy. What kind of world did I just bring children into? Are we gonna make it?

I know there is light, but there are days when it still feels pretty damn dark.

And I guess that's where I'm at, mentally speaking. Exhausted. Sad. Grateful. So incredibly grateful. Even when the exhaustion takes over and guts me, I remind myself to be grateful. I'm grateful that the pandemic hasn't been worse for us as it has for so many others. I'm grateful that I've been able to cobble together an income off freelance work. I'm grateful that my kids are happy and healthy, not to mention too young to remember any of this shit once it's over. I’m grateful that I've learned to cook. I'm grateful that my wife and I still love each other. I'm grateful for family who have helped us navigate being working parents without daycare. I'm grateful that my parents and my wife's parents have been vaccinated. I'm grateful that now an end is in sight. When that end will be for us, I'm still not sure, but at least we know it's coming. And for that, I am grateful.

Now we brace for a return to "normalcy", whatever that means… and however long it takes. A regular topic of conversation in my house is what the first restaurant we eat inside will be. Or what vacation we'll take first. These all still feel very aspirational to me, but at least we're aspiring, I guess. In my mind, I'm ready to burst out of my unfinished basement office and folding table desk to tackle the world again. I'm ready to dive into another marketing department somewhere, go see a concert in the front row, take my kid to the aquarium so she can see the fish she only remembers from pictures. In my mind, I'm ready for all of these things and telling myself that attitude is everything.

But in my heart I know that it will probably be a long time before I can eat comfortably at a restaurant again, stand next to a stranger on a train, or sit in an airplane with other passengers without it doing a number on my head. In my heart I know that the first time I experience live music again, go to a museum, watch my child take in the majesty of a real shark, or feel the hug of a friend I've only seen over Zoom for 12+ months, I will be reduced to a puddle. And that's OK. I expect there are many, many others who feel exactly the same way and will be going through the same thing.

Still, if there's one thing the last year has taught me, it's that the abyss of the unknown is crossable and I'm ready to cross it, for better or for worse.  

[aceprosecuties]

So I've been really sick lately, and I was thinking about some sick day Blackmadhi. Like Simon doesn't hear from Nahyuta for a while and is worried but turns out he's sick with an especially bad flu. Simon immediately flys out to him in Khurain, to find him bedridden and really ill and sore. He's still infuriatingly pretty to Simon even when he's coughing, has a running nose, has to stick his head into a bin to throw up every hour but maybe that's the love talking. Que fussy boyfriend Simon

Ah,oh no!  I feel like so many people aresick lately and I hope you and everyone else gets better!  In case you’re interested, I did write aBlackmadhi sickficlet thing here, with sick Simon, so I’m glad you asked forthe other way around!  I hope you gethealthy again soon lovie

-----

Simon’sleg was bouncing rather uncontrollably while he tried to focus on the papers infront of him on his desk.  He kepttapping his pen on the wood, periodically checking his phone to see if Nahyutahad finally gotten back to him.  It hadbeen a few days now, and Simon hadn’t stopped worrying, which had culminated inhim being even more hostile towards everyone who dared speak to him.  At one point yesterday, Debeste had asked hima rather stupid question, and Simon had scared him to the point of tears,leading to a harsh scolding from his boss.

Nahyutahad said he was feeling a bit under the weather the last he spoke with him, andof course with every day that went by without any contact, Simon startedfearing that what Nahyuta had originally believed was just a minor illness wasactually something major.  What if he wasin the hospital?  Simon didn’t trustNahyuta’s advisers to let him rest when he needed to…what if they overworkedhim too much that he collapsed?

Many ofthe scenarios that Simon thought of were a bit far-fetched, but evenrecognizing that did little to alleviate his fears.  Soon…he caved.  He marched to Gavin’s office and banged onthe door, not even waiting for an answer before barging in.  Klavier was sitting on his ridiculous chair,and jumped a bit when his frightening coworker was suddenly barreling towardshim.

(this got longgg)

“HerrBlackquill!  What are you-”

“Silence, Gavin-dono.  I need you to give me Justice-dono’s phonenumber.  I know you have it.”

Klavierraised one of his eyebrows in curiosity and confusion.  “First off, Herr Blackquill, yelling atsomeone and then demanding a favor from that someone usually doesn’t lead tomuch success.  Secondly…why do you wantForehead’s number?  Since when did youand Forehead suddenly become close friends?”

Right…Klavierdidn’t know about Simon’s relationship with Nahyuta.  He had his inklings, but Simon neverconfirmed anything, much to his frustration. Simon growled, because Klavier suddenly had a large smug smile on hisface.

“Justgive me the number, Gavin-dono.”

“Itwould be highly irresponsible of meto just give our Forehead’s number to anyone who asks for it.  I need a good reason.”

“Ineed his advice on a case.”

“That’sthe worst lie you’ve ever told, HerrBlackquill.”  Klavier started lookingthrough his phone, humming some obnoxious tune while Simon fantasized aboutthrottling the man.  “Maybe…it isn’t Forehead that you wish to speakwith?”

“I do want to speak with him.”

“Aboutwhat? Or rather…about whom?”

Simongrowled again, but he knew he wasn’t about to intimidate Klavier into givinghim the number.  Not while Klavier lookedas arrogant as he currently did.  Hequickly thought about it, but his fears about Nahyuta’s well-being quicklyovercame his desire to not give Klavier Gavin what he wanted.  

“Fine, Gavin-dono, you win.  I want to call Justice-dono aboutNahyuta.  He’s been out of contact and Ijust want to make sure he is okay.”

“AboutHerr Sahdmadhi?  Now why would you care about him?”

“You’retreading on very thin ice, Gavin,” Simon snapped, deliberately omitting thehonorific.  But it did not faze Klavier,who just threw his hands behind his head. Simon could feel his eye twitch.  “Nahyutaand I have been seeing each other, alright? Now give me that number.”

“I knew it,” Klavier shouted, standing upin his excitement.  “I want to know-”

“Not right now,” Simon interrupted.  “Just-”

“Ja, ja. Here,” Klavier said, while texting Apollo’s number to Simon.  Once Simon heard his phone’s text alertsound, he was spinning on his heels and walking out the door, dialingApollo.  He heard Klavier shout out asarcastic “you’re welcome,” but he ignored it in favor of focusing on theringing tone coming through his speaker.

Apolloanswered, sounding somewhat hesitant. Probably because it was a number he didn’t recognize aside from thecountry and area codes.  Simon didn’tcare, though.  

“Justice-dono!”

“P-ProsecutorBlackquill?  Is that you?”

“Yes,I must ask you something.”  Simon ignoredApollo’s confused stammering and just continued.  “Your brother.  What is going on with him?”

“WithNahyuta?  Why…do you ask?”

“Justanswer the question, Justice-dono!”

“H-He’sbeen basically quarantined in the palace with a nasty flu.  Rayfa told me that he hasn’t been allowed anycommunication devices in order to speed up his recovery…though I don’t understandhow that would help at all.”

“…Isee.  Thank you, Justice-dono.”

Withoutbothering to wait for Apollo to say goodbye, Simon hung up.

Hebought the first plane ticket to Khura’in, leaving the next morning.

-----

Itwas obnoxious trying to get the people at the Khura’inese palace to let himthrough, but luckily, he was able to get Rayfa’s assistance in wearing down theguards and advisers.  He had to promiseher a few favors, but to see Nahyuta, it was all worth it.  Between the crown princess and the king-regent’sterrifying consort demanding that Simon be able to see Nahyuta, no one stood achance.

Simonran to Nahyuta’s room and had to stop himself from bursting loudly through thedouble doors.  He didn’t want to overlystartle Nahyuta, and so he decided to take a deep breath before slowly turningthe handle.

Itwas quite cold in the room; the temperature seemed to drop by a few degreeswhen Simon stepped in.  Nahyuta wassprawled out on his bed; his hair did not have its signature shine, and was notin its usual braid.  The monk triedsitting up a little bit when he heard an intruder, about to demand who wasdisturbing him, but even trying to sit up hurtso many of his muscles.  And, of course,the movement must have troubled something in him because he was coughinguncontrollably for a moment without even having recognized who was standing inhis doorway.  That coughing made hisstomach churn and it took no time before he was off the side of his bed,vomiting into the bucket that had been placed there.

SeeingNahyuta like that spurred Simon to rush over to the monk’s side, sitting nextto him and holding his lavender hair back and away from his face.  It took a few long moments before Nahyutafelt alright enough to sit back again, and he fell right into his pillows as helooked up to see Simon watching over him.

Hesmiled.  Despite his illness making hisskin pale and his hair dull and his nose runny…it was beautiful.  Simon moved some wayward lilac strands fromNahyuta’s sweat-soaked face.  Even thoughit was cold in the room, Nahyuta was hot to the touch.  

“Mypanda…what are you doing here?”  Nahyuta’svoice was raspy and hoarse, so Simon didn’t even scold him for the use of thenickname.  Instead, he just kissedNahyuta’s hand, lacing their fingers together tightly.  

“I…hadn’theard from you.  I was…concerned.”

“Heh…youoverreact, Simon.  I’m-”

“You’renot fine, clearly, so don’t say it.”

Nahyutalaughed a bit, though those laughs transformed into coughs pretty quickly.  

“Ijust wish our reunion could have been under better circumstances.  I know I don’t exactly look great right now.”

“You’rebeautiful.”  The words left Simon’s mouthwithout him really thinking about it.  

“Youdon’t need to flatter me, Panda.  I can’timagine that I’m very appealing to see right now, what with the sweat and thevomiting and everything.”  More coughsinterrupted some of his words, and he thought for a moment that he was going tobe sick again.  Luckily, however, he wasable to keep it down.

“Imean it, Nahyuta.  Frankly, it isannoying.  How gorgeous you are, evenwhile being this ill,” Simon said.  Hethought for a second, wondering if he should continue.  “…Maybe it is just the love blinding me toany of your physical ailments.”

Nahyutablinked a few times…allowing Simon’s words to sink in.  Despite how moving any of his limbs wassomewhat painful due to how sore his body was, he lifted his hand to Simon’sface, cupping one of his cheeks.  “I loveyou too Simon.  Thank you for coming allthe way here just to see me.”

Simon’sface heated up a little bit.  “Yeah well…likeI said, I was worried.  I don’t trustyour advisers to treat you well enough, so I figured I would have to come overand do it myself.  Have they been givingyou the appropriate medicine?  Been washingyour sheets?  Making sure you get enoughwater and stay hydrated?”  

“I was quarantined to make sure no one elsecaught this, so my contact with others has been minimal,” Nahyuta spurted out,groaning as he lifted his hand to his head – this headache was unbearable.  “You probably ought to leave too.  Wouldn’t want my panda to get sick because ofme.”

“Silence.”  Although Simon said his catchphrase, it wasfar less malicious or harsh than how he normally would say it.  “I didn’t come all the way here just to sitoutside your door while you suffer alone.” He surveyed the room; he could definitely clean some and then maybe getsome clean blankets and clothes for Nahyuta…it wasn’t good for him to just stayin the same stuff for so long.  “I’ll goget you some water.”  And, while he wasat it, Simon would have a few choice words with Nahyuta’s main advisersexpressing his distaste for how poorly they had taken care of theirregent.  

Hestood, but before he went to leave, he leaned over and kissed Nahyuta’sforehead.  The monk smiled, and for amoment, didn’t feel as ill as he did before.          

[astralsecrets]

Dream - Falling To A Game Over & He's In The Sitting Room & I've Grown To Trust Him

Date of Dream: SUN 7 OCT - 2018 Dream No. 445 - Separated Sections Dream 445 A - Falling To A Game Over I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was inside this bizarre complex that I can’t quite describe. It was a mix of inside a house, a shopping centre, it looked like a bit of everything. My other grandma was there and also she didn’t really speak in the dream, I could somehow tell that she was the one behind me being trapped in this complex. At one point, I tried to find a way out through the windows but they were bolted with a fly-screen on the outside and at one point, my grandma walked past and so I had to get away from there. A bit later in the scene, when my grandma was gone, Young Cricket happened to appear, once again not speaking, and directed me to one of the windows. I went over to that window myself and tried to be as quiet as I could to work my way out of there so my grandma wouldn’t catch me. I thought it would just be one or two panels to open but I counted them and there was actually fifteen of them! It felt like ages but soon, air was flowing into the complex and I did not hesitate to get the heck out of there. I was now in this completely unknown area but somehow, it felt like the inside of some game. I wasn’t myself either and rather, I was playing the perspective of Violet Parr who was wearing her casual clothes but also her mask and had this really bright purple aura around her. There were other characters in this game simulation, which I can tell were controlled by other members of the American Gamerland Podcast community. Some of the other characters included Mario, Yoshi and Sonic. As Violet, I moon-jumped to some very high places. I was curious to see how high I could go and so that’s just what I did. She ended up on top of this very tall tower which the dream was making me think was the top of the Empire State Building in New York. The dream camera showed this lower area below where Violent was expected to land when she jumped off the tower. She jumped off with no problem but for some reason, Violet wasn’t landing anywhere close. She was actually nowhere near the required area and rather landed on the concrete, in-fact missing the grass by just an inch. The dream camera shook as she hit the ground on impact and then I could here one member of the Gamerland Podcast community saying, “Oh oops, it look’s like Karla’s gone. I wonder what character she’ll come back as”. I didn’t end up returning though and rather the dream ended. Dream 445 B - He's In The Sitting Room (Lucid Dream 28) I don’t remember what happened at the start of the dream. From where I do remember, I was in the backyard and I was talking to a few people. Ever since the start of the dream, I had active intentions to seek 18-Volt but I only really got that conscious awareness when I got into the garage. Someone was following me but I forgot who it was. Then after that, the person disappeared and I seemed to be by myself. I was now looking at the position of the cars in the garage and I believed this to be the start of my strong lucidity. First of all, it was just my mum’s car in on the left side and the right side was empty. Without the roller door opening, my grandma’s car drove itself into its usual right side position in the garage. Because I was lucid, I noticed that the car did not park very well and it was so close to my mum’s that it could scrape the side doors. I verbally instructed for my grandma’s car to fix itself in which it started reversing. It reversed in a way that it would get closer to the other car though, so I had to instruct it to stop again. I then told the car to turn the opposite way as it reversed. Due to full consciousness, I felt somewhat frustrated at times when the car would get so close to my mum’s again. Eventually though, the car did end up fixing itself so it was correctly centred into its position in the garage. Then it time for me to head into the house and that’s when I saw my brother downstairs. I asked him if he knew where 18-Volt was and he said he didn’t. I then decided to stick my head around the corner and look in my brother’s bedroom. I was expecting to see 18-Volt maybe sitting on the couch but he wasn’t. I then went upstairs and asked my mum if she knew where 18-Volt was. She told me “he’s in the sitting room”. I slowly and carefully wondered into the sitting room and indeed I could perceive a hint of 18-Volt’s energy. Once again, I bent my head the other way and noticed that something was happening on the far armchair next to the window. The throw that was draped over it began to rustle… But just as 18-Volt was about to appear, the dream forced a fade-out on me Transition (445 B -> 445 C) I actually knew what the dream was doing! It was trying so hard to wake me but I literally bolted my eyes shut. I was in the void for a long time and at some points, I felt like I was definitely going to wake but I still kept holding on. After what felt like even a few long minutes, the dream entered into exactly the same setting and I was able to link the concept of the previous dream into this one. Dream 445 C - I've Grown To Trust Him (Lucid Dream 28+) This time, I started out in the dining room where I had originally asked my mum the question, “where’s 18-Volt?” but this time, I was in the area by myself. I was going to go back into the sitting room to attempt to speak to 18-Volt again but I stopped myself, with my mind telling me, “It’s not worth it. If you do that, you’re just going to wake up again”. So instead, I made the decision to head over to the kitchen and confront my mum. Indeed, my mum was standing in the kitchen, looking as if though she had just been washing the dishes. I came to her with a look of disbelief on my face, like I felt she was the one behind the forced fade-out. But then because I was lucid, this scenario felt pretty normal, like I was dealing with her as if we were having a real life argument. I eventually gathered up the strength to speak to her. I said, “Mum, please, like, can you please let me do this?”. Also just like in real life, she looked at me suspiciously as if I plotting something… As if. I told her, “I’m trying to make an effort here so that I can face up to my fears”. She asked me “why?” and that’s when I thought “you must be dumb or something”, I found it so hard to get through to her and her challenging ways. I said out loud to her, “Because of the work experience thing”. I was now absolutely annoyed with my mum and her overprotective ways. I think I finally knew what she was thinking; was she thinking that maybe 18-Volt was a sleaze and that I just wanted to get out with some boy? To sum it up, she didn’t trust 18-Volt. I managed to stay calm and I told her, trying to reassure her “Mum, I’m doing this for a reason. He’s been really good to me, he’s helped me throughout some very difficult times and I’ve grown to trust him”. As I was saying this, I perceived an energy from 18-Volt again, I managed to visualise him smiling at me in a warm, humbled manner, like he could actually hear what I was saying and he was in awe of it. My mum was trying to act like she was okay with it but deep down, I could tell that she still wasn’t convinced; she looked as sour as ever. For a moment, it looked like she was going to let me continue on with the dream and I was hoping this would be the case. But when I leased expected it, the dream faded out on me and I was back into the void. Ending I still wasn’t going to give up and glued my eyes shut for dear life. I was still in the void when this happened but there started to become projections of funny cat videos on Facebook to try and distract me out of my focus. Additionally, the tingly sensation increased as if I was being forcefully lifted out of the dream. Eventually, I thought to myself, “It’s okay, you’ve done well, you haven’t lost. You tackled a problem” and so I decided to wake up. Dream 445: Results (Competition #8) 445 A Competition Night: 2 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid Dream Guide: Young Cricket Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes 445 B Competition Night: 2 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Lucid Dream Guide: None Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes 445 C Competition Night: 2 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Lucid Dream Guide: None Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes Points For This Entry: 19.0 Calculation Details: - Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0) - Control Another Object or DC: Violet Parr (1.0) - First Lucid Of The Night (10.0) - Was Introduced via WBTB (2.0) - Subsequent Lucid (5.0) + Previous Total: 4.5 Total Accumulated Points: 23.5

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8297989 https://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/karlab18/dream-falling-game-over-hes-sitting-room-ive-grown-trust-him-85556/

[astralsecrets]

Dream - Falling To A Game Over & He's In The Sitting Room & I've Grown To Trust Him

Date of Dream: SUN 7 OCT - 2018 Dream No. 445 - Separated Sections Dream 445 A - Falling To A Game Over I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was inside this bizarre complex that I can’t quite describe. It was a mix of inside a house, a shopping centre, it looked like a bit of everything. My other grandma was there and also she didn’t really speak in the dream, I could somehow tell that she was the one behind me being trapped in this complex. At one point, I tried to find a way out through the windows but they were bolted with a fly-screen on the outside and at one point, my grandma walked past and so I had to get away from there. A bit later in the scene, when my grandma was gone, Young Cricket happened to appear, once again not speaking, and directed me to one of the windows. I went over to that window myself and tried to be as quiet as I could to work my way out of there so my grandma wouldn’t catch me. I thought it would just be one or two panels to open but I counted them and there was actually fifteen of them! It felt like ages but soon, air was flowing into the complex and I did not hesitate to get the heck out of there. I was now in this completely unknown area but somehow, it felt like the inside of some game. I wasn’t myself either and rather, I was playing the perspective of Violet Parr who was wearing her casual clothes but also her mask and had this really bright purple aura around her. There were other characters in this game simulation, which I can tell were controlled by other members of the American Gamerland Podcast community. Some of the other characters included Mario, Yoshi and Sonic. As Violet, I moon-jumped to some very high places. I was curious to see how high I could go and so that’s just what I did. She ended up on top of this very tall tower which the dream was making me think was the top of the Empire State Building in New York. The dream camera showed this lower area below where Violent was expected to land when she jumped off the tower. She jumped off with no problem but for some reason, Violet wasn’t landing anywhere close. She was actually nowhere near the required area and rather landed on the concrete, in-fact missing the grass by just an inch. The dream camera shook as she hit the ground on impact and then I could here one member of the Gamerland Podcast community saying, “Oh oops, it look’s like Karla’s gone. I wonder what character she’ll come back as”. I didn’t end up returning though and rather the dream ended. Dream 445 B - He's In The Sitting Room (Lucid Dream 28) I don’t remember what happened at the start of the dream. From where I do remember, I was in the backyard and I was talking to a few people. Ever since the start of the dream, I had active intentions to seek 18-Volt but I only really got that conscious awareness when I got into the garage. Someone was following me but I forgot who it was. Then after that, the person disappeared and I seemed to be by myself. I was now looking at the position of the cars in the garage and I believed this to be the start of my strong lucidity. First of all, it was just my mum’s car in on the left side and the right side was empty. Without the roller door opening, my grandma’s car drove itself into its usual right side position in the garage. Because I was lucid, I noticed that the car did not park very well and it was so close to my mum’s that it could scrape the side doors. I verbally instructed for my grandma’s car to fix itself in which it started reversing. It reversed in a way that it would get closer to the other car though, so I had to instruct it to stop again. I then told the car to turn the opposite way as it reversed. Due to full consciousness, I felt somewhat frustrated at times when the car would get so close to my mum’s again. Eventually though, the car did end up fixing itself so it was correctly centred into its position in the garage. Then it time for me to head into the house and that’s when I saw my brother downstairs. I asked him if he knew where 18-Volt was and he said he didn’t. I then decided to stick my head around the corner and look in my brother’s bedroom. I was expecting to see 18-Volt maybe sitting on the couch but he wasn’t. I then went upstairs and asked my mum if she knew where 18-Volt was. She told me “he’s in the sitting room”. I slowly and carefully wondered into the sitting room and indeed I could perceive a hint of 18-Volt’s energy. Once again, I bent my head the other way and noticed that something was happening on the far armchair next to the window. The throw that was draped over it began to rustle… But just as 18-Volt was about to appear, the dream forced a fade-out on me Transition (445 B -> 445 C) I actually knew what the dream was doing! It was trying so hard to wake me but I literally bolted my eyes shut. I was in the void for a long time and at some points, I felt like I was definitely going to wake but I still kept holding on. After what felt like even a few long minutes, the dream entered into exactly the same setting and I was able to link the concept of the previous dream into this one. Dream 445 C - I've Grown To Trust Him (Lucid Dream 28+) This time, I started out in the dining room where I had originally asked my mum the question, “where’s 18-Volt?” but this time, I was in the area by myself. I was going to go back into the sitting room to attempt to speak to 18-Volt again but I stopped myself, with my mind telling me, “It’s not worth it. If you do that, you’re just going to wake up again”. So instead, I made the decision to head over to the kitchen and confront my mum. Indeed, my mum was standing in the kitchen, looking as if though she had just been washing the dishes. I came to her with a look of disbelief on my face, like I felt she was the one behind the forced fade-out. But then because I was lucid, this scenario felt pretty normal, like I was dealing with her as if we were having a real life argument. I eventually gathered up the strength to speak to her. I said, “Mum, please, like, can you please let me do this?”. Also just like in real life, she looked at me suspiciously as if I plotting something… As if. I told her, “I’m trying to make an effort here so that I can face up to my fears”. She asked me “why?” and that’s when I thought “you must be dumb or something”, I found it so hard to get through to her and her challenging ways. I said out loud to her, “Because of the work experience thing”. I was now absolutely annoyed with my mum and her overprotective ways. I think I finally knew what she was thinking; was she thinking that maybe 18-Volt was a sleaze and that I just wanted to get out with some boy? To sum it up, she didn’t trust 18-Volt. I managed to stay calm and I told her, trying to reassure her “Mum, I’m doing this for a reason. He’s been really good to me, he’s helped me throughout some very difficult times and I’ve grown to trust him”. As I was saying this, I perceived an energy from 18-Volt again, I managed to visualise him smiling at me in a warm, humbled manner, like he could actually hear what I was saying and he was in awe of it. My mum was trying to act like she was okay with it but deep down, I could tell that she still wasn’t convinced; she looked as sour as ever. For a moment, it looked like she was going to let me continue on with the dream and I was hoping this would be the case. But when I leased expected it, the dream faded out on me and I was back into the void. Ending I still wasn’t going to give up and glued my eyes shut for dear life. I was still in the void when this happened but there started to become projections of funny cat videos on Facebook to try and distract me out of my focus. Additionally, the tingly sensation increased as if I was being forcefully lifted out of the dream. Eventually, I thought to myself, “It’s okay, you’ve done well, you haven’t lost. You tackled a problem” and so I decided to wake up. Dream 445: Results (Competition #8) 445 A Competition Night: 2 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid Dream Guide: Young Cricket Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes 445 B Competition Night: 2 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Lucid Dream Guide: None Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes 445 C Competition Night: 2 Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Lucid Dream Guide: None Emergency Team: None Eligible For Competition Points: Yes Points For This Entry: 19.0 Calculation Details: - Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0) - Control Another Object or DC: Violet Parr (1.0) - First Lucid Of The Night (10.0) - Was Introduced via WBTB (2.0) - Subsequent Lucid (5.0) + Previous Total: 4.5 Total Accumulated Points: 23.5

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8297989 https://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/karlab18/dream-falling-game-over-hes-sitting-room-ive-grown-trust-him-85556/