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averagewriter777 · 2 years ago

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I Could've Been Here (Corpse x F!Reader)

TW: Disease (tumors/cancer), death, angst

You hated hospitals. For one, they were so bright on the inside and smelled of hand sanitizer. Secondly, you’re there every other week for an update on your physical being, so you’re just overall tired of being there. And you especially feel bad for your friend, Seán, who promised he’d be by your side at all times when in the hospital.

“Are you going to do another vlog here? I mean, we have been here overnight due to the swelling in your foot…” Seán fiddled with his phone in his hand. He’d already posted that he couldn’t do a video at the moment, for personal reasons. “Or are you going to keep this one to yourself?”

There was not an immediate response, until you let out a series of coughs. Seán adjusted his mask on his face, before reaching over and checking to make sure everything hooked up to you remained intact. You waved him off. “I might keep this one to myself… I look worse than I did the first time…”

Seán gave you a sympathetic look. “(Y/n), my dearest friend…” he grabbed your hands, making sure not to grasp the one with the IV in it too hard. “You’ve always looked this bad.” You smacked his hand away, only to flinch in pain because you hit him with the one that had the IV. “Ha! Just kidding… You should at least open your mindlink at let your soulmate know you’re okay. You’ve had it shut ever since you got sick… they probably have assumed the worst.”

Oh god. You definitely forgot about that. Since being diagnosed with Cardiac Sarcoma, a heart cancer, you completely cut off connection with your soulmate. Seán was disappointed when he learned you did that. And that was six months ago… “You really want me to just open the link back and be like ‘Oh, hey I’m alive- I just have a cancer in my heart and didn’t want to concern you with it’.” Seán crossed his arms and gave you a raised brow look. “Fine. I’ll open it back up, he’s just gonna be mad at me though…”

“No shit,” Seán mumbled and sank into his chair. He pulled out his phone and took a selfie, texting his own soulmate- who he knew well, Gabby, that he was still at the hospital… and you were doing ‘fine’.

You then closed your eyes and went far into the back of your mind. The link was all the way in the back, with your worst memories included. You shifted uncomfortably in your hospital bed when it was opened back up. ‘Before anything, I just want to say I’m sorry--’

‘YOU’RE ALIVE?!’ You flinched at the yelling in your head, Seán looked up from his phone, then back down at it. ‘You realize ‘sorry’ doesn’t exactly cut this, right? You shut down our link without any explanation. And I felt your heart fail before you did that. You better have a damn good reason for cutting it off.’

“He’s angry… he felt my heart fail before I cut it off six months ago…” You opened your eyes and looked at Seán, who was scratching the scruff on his chin. “What’re you thinking about, lucky charms?” At the same time, you decided to just drop it straight on your poor soulmate, telling him exactly the problem. ‘Look up Cardiac Sarcoma. That’s why.’

Seán looked at you with the raised eyebrow again. “Well no shit he’s mad.” He lowered his phone and quickly straightened. “Wait- did you say that he felt your heart fail when it did?” You nodded slowly, scared at the sudden change in your friend. “Fuck, I need to make a call. I’ll be right outside. Push the red button if you need to, okay?” Then he jumped out of his chair and left the room.

‘You have cancer? In your heart? That’s why you didn’t want to talk to me?’ He sounded hurt and slightly annoyed. ‘That’s got to be the dumbest reason ever. Wait- give me one second, I’ve got a call.’

The hospital room was silent after that. Usually, at this time, you would be vlogging part of your life and show some family recipes. (You’re a cooking and gaming channel) So, you decided to take out your phone and start an Instagram live. People were strangely quick to hop on, and all concerned as to why there were hospital tubes in your nose.

“Hello, everyone! I understand this isn’t my usual video or live, considering I’m not in my kitchen or gaming room… but I feel like this is something that needs to be said, especially if everything goes wrong in the next couple of days.” You let out a deep breath and closed your eyes, before giving the camera a pained smile. “For those of you who have been with me for a long time, you’ve known that I’ve had trouble in my chest, my veins in my neck sometimes look weird, or there is swelling in my body somewhere. Well, six months ago, I was diagnosed with Cardiac Sarcoma, which is a cancer in the heart.” The comments blew up, asking if you were alright, some bluntly asking if you were going to die… and others said they were here for you. “Since it’s spread quite a lot… I’ve been scheduled for a transplant. But we all know there’s a list for that. I don’t know the time I have left, and I don’t know when I’ll get that transplant…” You trailed off when Seán entered back in the room, still with a phone against his ear. “Anyway, I’m not gonna upload until the swelling in my foot- which is where it is right now, subsides and I’m better. I also just wanted to let you guys know. And with that, have a good rest of your days or nights…” You ended the live, not answering a single question, as intended.

Seán ran over to his seat and slightly removed the phone from his mouth. “Did you just do a live about it?” You nodded and put your phone on the table. “Ah, okay. Err, I was wondering if you could talk to someone- precisely the person I’m on the phone with. I’m about 90% sure they’re your soulmate- and he really wants to talk to you.”

What a twist. Your mouth dropped. ‘Are you on the phone with Sean? Did he call you?’ Seán removed the phone from his ear and put it on speaker. “Yes. I’m on the phone with Seán, and he was the one who called me. Can I talk to you now?” You took the phone from your friend, reading ID: ‘Corpse’ then put it to your ear- off of speaker. “You know what’s funny about all of this? We’ve met- online, but met regardless, and nothing was said.”

You put your hand on your chest to rub it, because the pain was starting up again. Seán stood up from his seat and walked out of the room to go get a doctor just in case. Your chest pain had been absent for a while. “I find that funny also. You’d also think with your deep, grating voice- I’d recognize it in my head and outside of it-- but it’s just different, I don’t know how to explain it.” Corpse chuckled. “So… back to my apology… I’m sorry for shutting you out for six months.” ‘And I haven’t told Seán yet, but the doctor’s said there’s a possibility of me not making it. It’s why I shut you out. If we’ve never met, you don’t have to mourn me like that…’Ugh, it sounded awful coming out like that.

“That’s still dumb reasoning. And Sean doesn’t know you’re practically on your death bed? That’s fucked up.” Corpse responded, sounding disappointed. “(Y/n)... I want to know where you are, for one. I want to be there for you… if you’ll allow me.”

Wait- didn’t Corpse like, not at all like crowds of sorts? Agoraphobia, you remember it being. “I-I don’t… Are you sure? I live in Brighton, which is why Seán is with me.” You heard him take in a sharp breath, but say nothing. “And as I said…” ‘I don’t know how long I have left, and I’d hate for you to come here and me not--”

“DON’T talk like that. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it,” Corpse snapped into the phone. You heard a lot of rummaging around from his side. “I’m coming to Brighton, my anxiety be damned. Let Sean know I’m coming- AND what the doctor’s told you. Please… that’s all I ask.”

You hummed into the phone, and looked at your friend, who was biting his nails while speaking with the doctor. (Right, he’d called for the doctor too about your chest) “I’ll tell him… and text me your flight information and all. I’ll have Seán text you my number… and I’ll talk to you later. Doctor’s in the room. Bye, Corpse.” He said ‘bye’ and did not hang up himself, instead waited for you to do so. Seán’s phone went on the table as well after sending Corpse your number. “So… what’s up?”

The doctor, Dr. Adams- or Phil as you’d gotten to know him, set his clipboard on the counter next to the sink. “You didn’t tell your friend here that you’ve got a week before the tumor takes over your body?” Tears were falling down Seán’s cheeks as he looked at you. “Now, it’s not usually my business who or how you tell- but he’s been to every appointment, I thought he was your brother until my daughter saw him. I can’t believe you didn’t tell him… I had to break the news.”

‘The doctor ended up telling Sean.’ You didn’t mention your time limit to Corpse, pushing that away from your thoughts involved with him. “Seán, I was going to tell you… but--” He gave you the look he gave earlier. “I wanted to live until my last moments- okay? That’s how I want to live.”

Seán crossed his arms. “Phil just told me it’s best to keep you here just in case anything extreme happens! That’s seven fucking days, (Y/n). I-I just… I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” You opened your mouth to speak, but quickly shut it when you realized he wasn’t finished. “The reason your chest is starting to hurt again is because it’s all shutting down on you! I swear to God, if you didn’t tell Corpse about this--”

“I told him,” you interrupted. It wasn’t half a lie. You told him there was a possibility of not making it… a possibility. “He said he’s coming to Brighton…” You paused when the pain in your chest increased. “Phil… this hurts a lot… I want to go to sleep.”

Phil crossed over to the room and replaced the water with the sleeping and pain medication. “Alright, you’ve both said enough. Rest, (Y/n), I’ll be back in a few hours or when you need me.” He nodded to Seán, then left the room.

Seán was back in his seat, phone in hand, looking at a text from Corpse. “He’ll be here tomorrow night… that’s pretty fast. I’m going to leave the hospital tomorrow so I can pick him up, is that okay?” Your eyes were already closing as you nodded to him. “Cool…”

Seán was waiting right outside the airport. His hood was up and a mask covered the bottom half of his face. At the moment, he really didn’t feel like meeting anybody if he was recognized. Not with his best friend and sister from another mister on her fucking death bed.

Sister From Another Mister: Seán, he said that he just landed and is going through customs. He’ll be over soon.

Brother From Another Mother: Thanks. Why couldn’t he just text me that though?

Sister From Another Mister: Corpse doesn’t like public places remember? He wants to get out of the airport like yesterday. Oooh… Seán forgot about that. Damn, he felt bad in this situation. With now six days to potentially live, you were just getting your soulmate and vice versa on Corpse’s part. He sure hoped that you told Corpse everything, and didn’t miss a single beat- because Seán was going to drop all that he knew and was there for in the car.

Corpse: Hey, outside. Where are you?

Leprechaun Boy: Look for someone in a hoodie with a green mask on. Oh wait- I see you.

Seán waved his hand over to who he assumed was Corpse. Sure, he’d seen the man’s face before- but Corpse was also wearing a mask and the curls from his black hair were partially covering his eyes. “Nice to see you, Seán,” Corpse greeted and patted his friend’s arm.

“You too, Corpse.” Seán smiled as much as he could at his friend. “Wish it were under better circumstances though.” They started walking back to the parking garage, Seán with his hands in his pockets, and Corpse frowning and furrowing his brows. “Anyway, the hospital isn’t far. Should take us about 10-15 minutes to get there… on the way I want to tell you some things about (Y/n)’s situation.” Corpse lifted his head at the name and looked down at Seán. “You know, just how she’s doing really now and how this all started. Especially when you reach the hospital… she was doing okay yesterday, but the doctor dropped some big news on me…” he paused when they reached the car. “(Y/n)... she told you how long she has left, right?”

Corpse’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “All she told me… is that there is a possibility of not making it. A time stamp was never mentioned.” Seán rolled his eyes to the ceiling and let out the loudest sigh. “You’re telling me it’s numbered?!” ‘(Y/n), you have some fucking explaining to do when I get there.’

They both slid into the car after all of Corpse’s belongings went into the trunk. “Well… since she clearly didn’t tell you, I’m going to. The reason she never told me was because she wanted to ‘live out her last moments’- her words, not mine.” The grip on the steering wheel was already turning his knuckles white. “Yesterday, I was informed she only had a week left until the tumor completely takes over her body. And something that (Y/n) wanted in the beginning, was that if she was this close to death, she didn’t want to be alive.”

Corpse put his hand on his mouth. “S-She has six days?” He completely ignored the part that said she basically didn’t want to be alive at this point. Dear God, what was he going to be walking into? “Fucking hell…”

Seán placed a hand sympathetically on his friend’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to her in time.” And just in time, they pulled into the hospital parking lot. “Her room’s on the third floor. Do you need anything from your bags before we go up?” Corpse shook his head. “Cool. Let’s head to her room.”

The nurses at the front were already aware who Seán was and didn’t really mind him bringing someone else along. The whole staff was aware of the poor girl- as all of them remained on top of terminal cases. Even in the elevator with other hospital staff, they gave Seán little sympathetic looks. Corpse found it discomforting.

Room 315 was yours. You were lying down in your bed, as you always should be, talking on the phone with Felix and Marzia. When you saw Seán walk towards the door, you quickly said your goodbyes before making sure you looked… as okay as you possibly could- especially since you were hooked to a million machines.

“Sup, loser.” Seán greeted lightheartedly. Behind him trailed a very tall man, wearing all black. A black mask covered the bottom half of his face and you could just barely see the rest of his face over all of the black curls from his hair. “I’ve brought you a gift from America.”

You remained silent, both in your head and verbally. The man looked down at you, raising a brow… ‘What color are my eyes, say it out loud.’ Since you’d never seen Corpse, and despite you trusting Seán completely, you weren’t about to take any chances with a stranger.

“They’re a lovely shade of (e/c), but they seem to have lost some of their color…” His voice shocked you- once again. Your heart monitor skipped a beat, then went back to normal. “Stranger danger, huh?”

Heat rushed to your cheeks. “I-I didn’t mean anything by it. And no offense to you either, Seán, considering you knew what he looked like before.” Your friend shrugged while taking a fry from your lunch tray. “HEY! That’s my shitty hospital food, get your own.” Seán retracted and pulled out his phone- probably ordering DoorDash because of that comment. “Oh yeah- can you get Mexican?”

Corpse chuckled at the interaction and took a seat in the chair while Seán flipped you off and stepped out of the room. “I can see how people mistake you for siblings.” You laughed lightly, holding your chest afterward and letting out a deep breath. “I’m sorry I shut you out for so long… I just have this thing involving this stupid tumor--”

“That you have six days left to live, and if you’re still alive after six you’d like somebody to kill you?” Your mouth dropped, but you knew it was Seán who decided to tell everything. “Why didn’t you just tell me before?”

Good question, why didn’t you? Was it just living your life to the fullest before your tumor decided to take over? Or… “I-I don’t know… I’m sorry.” Your hand went to your chest again, the pain just kept increasing by the minute. “Corpse, I’m sorry to i-interrupt this… but can you call the doctor in? I-I’m not--” Your mouth slowly closed and your hand, in its last moments, gestured to the heart monitor.

No one had really noticed, but your heart had suddenly started beating at a slower pace. It continued to slow until it finally stopped. Corpse got out of his seat and tapped as hard as he could on the red button, calling for help, before rushing out of the room. “HER HEART STOPPED! SOMEONE GET OVER HERE AND HELP!” He grabbed Seán, who was surprised at the outburst, and also rushed back into the room. Seán held open the door for all the doctors and nurses that rushed in, and he held Corpse back from going towards you with his other hand. (Which took a lot of strength, mind you)

It had been a while, but Corpse felt tears welling up in his eyes. He’d just met you in person, and this is how it would end? Really? He forced himself to watch, though part of him didn’t want to, as the doctors attempted CPR. Every time the word ‘clear!’ was shouted, he heard Seán let out a sob. Fuck… would it really end like this?

“Doctor… we can’t try anymore. We need to call it,” one of the nurses mumbled to Phil.

Phil sighed and started to take off his gloves. “R-Right.” He cleared his throat. “Patient name: (Y/n) (L/n). Time of Death: 2:23pm on November 11th, 2022.” He turned around and looked at the two men, who were crying silently. “I’m sorry, boys. We did the best we could… cardiac arrest is no joke, it’s rare for people to come back from it.” All of the staff left the room, leaving the two to mourn.

Both slowly made their way to your bed. Seán closed your eyes when he walked over, then looked away. “I-I have to make some calls… her family deserves to know.” He grabbed your phone, then rushed out of the room. The thing was with him, he’d seen you go through thick and thin for the past six months- and the last thing he was ready to see was you was… gone.Corpse sat in the chair next to the bed, putting both of his hands under his chin. His mind had been silent for six months before this, only his personal thoughts running around. For a little over twenty-four hours, he was able to hear his soulmate’s voice again. “God, I wish you didn’t give me those six months of silence… I could’ve been here, same with Seán, through everything.” He wiped his tears again, letting out a shaky sigh. “I-I could’ve been here…”

Word Count: 3450

#fanfiction #xreader #oneshot #corpse x reader #corpse husband #jacksepticeye #angst #female reader

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samwearsreebok · 2 years ago

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Sam x Leah

Forewarning: I wrote this while drunk and in my feels about Sam and leahs breakup. Its pretty much gibberish

I was still trying to sort out what to do when I heard the most beautiful voice ever, "sir, are you ok?"

I turned around to see my gorgeous girl staring at me with concern in her eyes, as if she'd never seen anyone so torn apart before. She probably hadn't. In fact, I bet no one had ever looked like this to her before. Her long dark hair flowed down past her shoulders and covered half of her face. She was so beautiful. The way the light caught in her locks made them look almost luminescent. She wore a white dress shirt, tie, slacks, and high heels that matched the occasion perfectly. I almost forgot this was my engagement party. Leah could hold a candle to any woman's beauty.

"Hey honey" leah said as she walked over to us.

"Hi" I managed between breaths. I gave her a weak smile.

She smiled back, but it wasn't quite genuine.

"Let me help you up sir," emily but in putting her hand under my arm. "So you must be Sam, leah wasn't exaggeration, you are beutiful!" She enthused.

"Thanks, you're pretty cute yourself," I muttered as I got to my feet. My knees were still shaking from the shock. I took a deep breath and tried to get myself together.

"Are you okay, Sammy?" Leah asked it must be obvious how weird I felt. Like my whole world just turned inside out. I couldn't figure out why.

It was like when I'd first seen Leah and she was dressed up for the prom. Except then I knew her and was interested, or at least attracted to her. But now...now I didn't know what to think anymore. I think this officially made me worse than my father.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, uhm...thanks." I replied nervously. Leah just stared at me, not sure what to say. I'd been acting really strange since i first turned, i knew that much. Becoming a werewolf then keeping it a secret from everyone isn't the easiest thing. Especially not when everyone is watching you, waiting for you to go crazy again and need to be but away. So I could understand her confusion. I hoped emily wouldnynpick up on her confusion.

Emily broke the silence finally, "i hope we can be friends"

"Sure," I replied, trying my best to sound normal. It wasn't easy. "I don't have many friends in this town. I feel kinda left out at the moment."

"That's sad," she said sadly as she looked into my eyes.

I turned and started walking towards the kitchen, hoping they'd make me some food. My stomach was growling loudly. I'd not eaten anything all day. All morning I'd been too nervous, then I'd gotten sick. I wasn't sure I could eat at all right now.

Leah grabbed my arm, stopping me before I got far. "Sam, are you sure you're alright? You seem kind of..." I watched as her words trailed off.

"What?" I asked.

"You know," she said hesitantly, "a little bit, um...well, different."

"Oh, I'm sorry, did i scare you?" I asked outraged.

"No! No, Sam, not at all. It's just...well you know," she stammered.

I sighed, "yes, I do know. I thought we were supposed to be moving on from this." I rushed. "Every time I have to talk about this I go back to square one." I could feel the tears forming. Just talking about it made me want to cry.

"I know, I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. "But it's good to have someone to talk to who knows what you're going through."

"Thanks," I said with a nod. "Sorry I lashed out, it's just,"

"Hard." She finished for me. "We all have to deal with it in our own ways, Sam. If it helps I'll tell you the truth, ive never seen someone phase before, " she paused, "but I wish I had been with you, it would make things easier."

"You know I'm a werewolf?" I couldn't believe she knew. I thought we were talking about my mental health.

"Yes, I've known since last year," she said calmly. "My mother told me about the story's."

"Your mother knew?" I blurted out, shocked.

"Of course she did," she nodded. "It's the tribs history, only a few people go though it. We keep it quiet, we don't want to risk your safety."

"You mean I could have talked to you about it?" I gasped.

"Maybe, if you wanted to," she shrugged. "But I'm not sure you would have."

"True, I might not have," I admitted. "I just didn't know you knew."

"How did you find out?" she asked curiously.

"Only once a changed did I believe it." I answered honestly. "I spent a week in the woods alone after I first became a werewolf. Then I came back and people started treating me differently. I was paranoid, terrified someone would see me change and think I'd lost it like the rest of my family. So I kept it a secret. Obviously the elders knew and told me I had to protect our people. So I did."

"I can understand that," she said sympathetically. "I'm glad my mom told me, it makes everything easier. I feel like less of an outsider knowing I'm part of something bigger. I just hope it doesn't get you in trouble."

"Hopefully not," I agreed. "Do you mind if we keep this between us?"

"Not at all," she smiled reassuringly. "I promise."

"Thank you," I said gratefully. "I've been hiding it from everyone."

"Like you said, it's hard for everyone to talk about," she nodded. "But I think it's important to know you're still human."

I sighed, "you might be right."

"So, you've been seeing each other a while now?" Emily asked as she enteredthe room. I was happy to talk about Leah. "I haven't seen her since the prom. Have you been dating long?"

"A couple months," I said with a shrug.

"That's not bad," she said. "You've been through a lot in a short amount of time. I'm glad you've found someone who cares about you. Do you two always stay together during these changes?"

"Most of the time," I said vaguely. I didn't want to get into it. "I'm going to go get some food. See if i can convince my stomach to eat."

"Alright, well, if you need anything let me know," she told me.

"I will," I replied as I headed for the kitchen.

#twilight #twilight saga #sam uley #leah Clearwater #sam uley x reader #leah clearwater x reader #twilight fanfiction #the twilight saga #twilight wolf pack

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reidsnose · 4 years ago

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love letters

overview: spencer has a wonderful idea after finding out that reader had never gone to her senior prom

genre: fluff fluff fluff

a/n: i mixed two ideas that have been sitting in my notes app for this lol but i think its sweet!! i wrote it a little rushed and definitely not bc im not getting a prom this year due to miss rona👀 LMAO but as always please lmk what yall think ab it :)

masterlist

the idea had fully occupied his thoughts the second after the words left your mouth.

it was "the buttcrack of dawn" as you had called it, though spirits were high on the late jet ride home. it was a rare but much needed positive end to the case, and everyone was happily chatting with each other. since the case was involving high schoolers, the subject fell on prom. everyone went around sharing their prom stories one by one, recalling awful dresses and questionable dates til the questions turned to spencer.

"what ab you, pretty boy, what was your prom like?" morgan asked, still smiling widely from recalling his own.

you watched spencer shift uncomfortably for a second.

"i uh..i never went to prom." he stammered, a tight lipped smile on his face.

"no! you just dont wanna tell us!" prentiss cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"i graduated high school when i was 12! why would i have gone to prom?" he reasoned.

"you had to have gone when you were older or something! everyone has!" jj countered.

"thats not true, i never went to prom either," you defended, subconsciously inching closer to spencer.

before anyone could even ask you to explain why, spencer got the idea. he mentally left the conversation after you gave your answer. he spent the whole rest of the ride home and the next couple of weeks brain storming and planning.

and casually after work one day, as he was walking you to your car, he asked you if you wanted to hang out with him that weekend; at his house.

you and Spencer had hung out before, but mostly at your house or at coffee shops; he didn't invite people over very often.

of course you agreed but you grew confused when he told you to dress fancy.

you raced home afterwards to raid your closet, looking for any fancy dresses you may have stuffed in there.

spencer spent the whole day preparing his apartment. he put up streamers and balloons. he made a playlist of all your favorite songs. and then he rushed to get his clothes from the cleaners.

and when you knocked at his door the breath that left your lungs struggled to come back after he opened the door.

he stood in a gorgeous suit, different than he had ever worn to work. he rubbed the back of his neck and gestured to the living room, revealing the adorable (albeit poorly made but its the thought that counts) decorations.

"um.. welcome to prom," he said, turning back to you, revealing a blushy smile.

he tried not to stare too much at you, but it was difficult. your eyes sparkled as you stepped inside and looked around. and the dress you were wearing fit you so gorgeously he truly couldnt take his eyes off of you.

"spencer, i..." you trailed off, enchanted by what he had done.

"sorry if it looks bad. or if you think its weird that i did this. i just thought cause neither of us went to prom maybe you wanted to have a little one with me? yeah now that i say it out loud maybe you hate it im sorr-" he rambled behind you.

you turned quickly to him as he got lost in his words, eyes glued to the floor. cutting him off by wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him as tight as you could. you could feel the tension leave his body as he melted into the embrace, returning it gladly. he doesn't like to be touched by anyone really, except for you.

"i love it. thank you," you whispered, giving him one last squeeze before letting go.

he has a spread of snacks lying out on the coffee table which he has mooved to the corner of the room to make space for a makeshift dancefloor.

he turns on the music and you two start talking and dancing and laughing. two fools with four left feet completely and obliviously in love. well, oblivious the the other anyway.

a slower song came on, an old one that you had wanted to slow dance to ever since you were a little girl. and somehow naturally you two came together, his hand dropped to your waist, the other delicately cradling your own. your other hand found its way up to his shoulder, feeling as though a magnet was pulling you two closer. and closer.

he looked absolutely stunning. the soft lights he had strung around the apartment sparkled like stars in his eyes; its was...dizzying, in the most incredible way.

unbeknownst to you, as you stared at the stars in his eyes he was looking at his whole world that he had been somehow lucky enough to hold in his arms.

he held his arm out, allowing you to spin and when he pulled you back both of your arms ended up wrapped around his neck, and his around your waist. you were less dancing now and more...hugging. with your head pressed to his chest, he hoped with all his might that you wouldn't be able to hear his hammering heart. you most definitely could, but it was calming to know he was as nervous as you were. you smiled, listening more to his heart than the music he had played for you.

you were both sure that you could burst from pure bliss. the song ended a little too quickly for either of your liking and reluctantly you let go of each other. and suddenly Spencer was hit with the realization that he forgot something.

"oh my gosh," his eyes widened as he looked around the room.

"what?" you asked, mirroring him and looking as well.

"i can't remember where i left your corsage! i was gonna give it to you at the door but i forgot!" he exclaimed, running around the room checking shelves.

you smiled to yourself. he got you a corsage!

"ill help you look" you decided.

"please do," he chuckled.

"i thought you had an eidetic memory, shouldn't you know where you left it?" you joked, shooting him a smug smile.

"y/n, my brain was all jumbled to day and it wasn't just from being around you," he realized what he had said and quickly turned back to the shelf he was looking at, "could you check in my room please?"

his heart was racing at his own stupidity; how could he just say that so nonchalantly? he had been planning to tell you that he liked you for the longest time he cant afford slipping up and having it be anything less than perfect.

you slipped into his room, your cheeks warm from the idea that you make his big brain all jumbled. he probably didn't mean it like that, you were just looking too much into it.

you sighed as you crouched to look under his bed for it. you found a small wooden box that you slid out from underneath. it had your name on it.

is it normal to keep a corsage in a wooden box? you wouldn't know, you never went to prom.

you shrugged your shoulders, "i found it spence!"

with out thinking you opened the box, except instead of a band of flowers you were greeted with letters, all addressed to you. there were annotations written in the margins with purple ink. you furrowed your eyebrows as you scanned the various letters.

dear y/n,

today you complimented my glasses and my heart skipped a beat. thats dumb spencer dont start like that

dear y/n,

im in love with you. too forward

dear y/n,

you make life worth living. shes gonna think youre a creep

you felt a rush of euphoria fill your chest. did he really feel these things for you? your thoughts swirled in the most wonderful way. a wide smile broke across your face, butterflies running rampage through your stomach as you reread his words. his words addressed to you.

"oh thank God i really thought i lost-oh. oh no." spencer started as he walked through the door of his room immediately walking back out. you followed, blinking your watery eyes at him. "i can explain.

"i think youve explained enough, theres like 20 letters in here!" you chuckled, flipping through them.

"i didnt know how to tell you and i dont want to ruin what we already have and i-"

"it wasnt too forward." you stated, grabbing one of the letters.

"what?" he asked, dumbfounded.

"in this one," you held up the letter, "you wrote dear y/n, im in love with you. and then you crossed it out and wrote that it was too forward but i dont think it was."

"youre not mad?"

"mad? spencer ive been trying to admit the fact that im in love with you since i realized it myself, why would i be mad?"

"youre..you feel the same way?" he looked back up at you, a hesitant smile pulling on the corners of his lips.

"more so," you beamed, stepping closer.

he wrapped his arms around you, "thats good or else the rest of this prom would have sucked."

you chuckled, pulling him impossibly closer to you as another perfect song played.

ultra mega super cool taglist

@mac99martin @imhreid @spencersmagic @hollydaisy23 @raelady1184 @a-broken-pact @padfootswife @hey-there-angels @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @sonnydoesrandomshit @averyhotchner @laurakirsten0502 @reidyoulikeabook @rem-ariiana @spencerreid9 @vampire-overlord @takeyourleap-of-faith @spenxerslut @violetspoetic @aperrywilliams @b-a-utiful @eevee0722 @srhxpci @reidemandweep @imdefinitelyfloating @random-human-person @gurkiloni @luvspence @calm-and-doctor @ssavanessa22 @singularityjc @sydnee-kom-spacekru @sydneekomspacekru

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lowkeyorloki · 5 years ago

Text

Aftermath

Loki has always hated weakness. Because of this, you try to remain strong- even after being kidnapped.

You couldn’t stop shaking.

It was cold where they kept you. Deep into the Earth, so far underground you almost forgot what the sun looked like. When Loki and the other Avengers had saved you, the gold and yellows on their suits hurt your eyes.

And your wrists. Did your enemies forget you were one of the team members without powers? Three days your hands were chained behind your back. It had been a week since you were back in the safety of the Avengers Tower, but the skin on your wrists looked like it had been harmed yesterday. Rubbed raw.

Fucking zip ties would have worked.

Loki was being so attentive. He left water on your bedside table everyday, and held you at night like he always did.

You didn’t believe it, when he had taken you in his arms and out of that building. It had been three days without water and food. You thought the whole thing was a hallucination.

And yet, you awoke in the med bay, IV in your arm. Loki holding your hand at your bedside.

He cried when you woke up. Messily kissed you, his salty tears running into your mouth, before he remembered you couldn’t take breaths easily.

You let yourself cry then. It didn’t last long enough for��catharsis to set in. You were still exhausted, and fell back asleep in the crook of Loki’s neck.

You know now you were lucky then. One week later, you couldn’t sleep at all.

You kept shaking. Were you cold, or scared? Your captors had stripped you naked, left you alone in the freezing room. Was it on purpose, a way to drive a wedge between you and the frost giant you called your lover? You flinched when Loki’s cold fingers touched you.

Yet, you only felt safe when he was in the room. Besides, you and Thor alone knew Loki’s true form.

You managed to smile around him. You stole Wanda’s concealer, caked it under your eyes to hide the dark circles. You drank the tea Loki brought you. Took bites of meals, and spit them out when he wasn’t looking. There was a feeling of nausea deep inside you.

There was nothing you wanted less than to remind Loki of your mortality. There was a time he hated humans, thought of them as below him- because of their weakness. You had to keep up your image, that of your mental and physical strength. You could not lose Loki.

But, god, you had never been through something like this. The only person you wanted to be around was Loki.

The last person you wanted to be around was Loki.

The training room became your solace. You spent hours training, treating the punching bag as though it was the one that had hurt you. You wrapped your hands, and your knuckles bled through the fabric. You never noticed until after your session.

You practiced getting up from the ground. Practiced looking around you- throw one punch, look left and right. Throw another, glance behind you.

Stay alert. You knew now it was possible to disappear even with a team of superheroes.

Sometimes you felt Loki’s gaze on you. He never joined you on the mat, and never mentioned it in bed at night.

You cried in the shower, where it would be easy to explain wet cheeks. It was the steam that made your face so red, that was what you said.

Hopefully Loki was truly the God of Lies, not lies by omission.

“What can I do to make it better?” he asked one night, his hand on your knee. Thumb rubbing up and down, pain in his eyes.

Worry.

“Nothing,” you told him. “It’s over. Nothing happened, anyway. It was just me in that room. It could have been so, so, much worse.”

You smiled then. Pressed a long, genuine kiss to Loki’s forehead. Let him think you fell asleep in his arms.

That morning, you swapped your hand wraps for boxing gloves, and headed to punching bag.

It could have been worse. There had been many hostage situations you were involved in that were. You were chained alone in a room, nothing more, nothing less.

So why did it consume you? Were you this small, letting a singular event define you?

You wanted to cry to Loki. Talk to him. But what would he do if he knew how tormented you were? How broken?

Half of yourself for all of Loki. It was worth it.

It was worth it.

According to the rest of the Avengers, Loki put all his effort into pinpointing your location. Forgone rest, food. Anything to find you.

Did he? you found yourself wondering. Is this who I was three weeks ago?

You were utterly ashamed of the answer.

You found yourself sketching what you thought your mind looked like. You drew a circle, wrote your morals in the center. Sketched your childhood stuffed animal, your pet, the name of the street you grew up in, all within the confines of the outline.

Every time you did this, you zoned out. When you came back to, your mind maps were scribbled over, and the lead in your pencil was broken.

Into the garbage. You were just wasting paper.

Maybe this was your life now. It wasn’t too bad. Your eyes adjusted to light again. Loki was physically in your reach. There was a shower, welcoming you with warm water and a locked door.

Were you angry, or sad?

Were you just tired?

it was so embarrassing to be unable to decode even your own emotions. It would be unfair to expect someone else to.

You were staring in the mirror when it happened.

Loki’s hands rested on your shoulders. Touch. It was so comforting before. Now, it made you leap away.

Adrenaline washed over your body. You could hear blood rushing in your ears, and you had jumped away from Loki with such force you rammed into the wall.

“It’s me!” Loki rushed over, kneeled down. “You... You were looking in the mirror. Did you not see me?”

Humiliation washes over you. You try to talk, but your throat is so dry.

You shake your head.

“Darling.” Loki’s voice is so thick. He cups your face, forcing to look at him, really look at him, for the first time since your return. “Please talk to me.”

You’re panting. Why? All you’re doing is sitting, pressed up against the wall.

You finally, finally, let out a sob. Your body becomes limp, entirely supported by Loki. You wrap your arms around his strong frame, crying into his shirt. You cry like you’re going to lose him, because you probably already have.

Loki rubs your back. He murmurs into your ear. You’re safe. I’m here. I’m going to protect you.

I love you.

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” he whispers once you have the courage to face him. You trace the veins on the inside of Loki’s wrist, run your fingers over his calloused hands.

“I think I may have forgotten how to.” you rasp. Rediscovering your voice, you keep talking. “I didn’t want to lose you.”

Loki shakes his head, kisses the top of your head.

“I’m so sorry.” he tells you. You begin to interrupt, but he stops you. “It’s not your fault you were afraid of my reaction. I’m sorry it wasn’t clear. But this is a promise, love: I will never leave you, I will never stop loving you. And I especially won’t on the account of what you have and will survive.”

You’re crying again, silently this time. Loki kisses your tears away.

Then he taps your forehead.

“I won’t let anything take you like this again. Especially not your doubt.”

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nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit · 3 years ago

Text

Tinder Matches

Karmagisa Week 2021, day 1 prompt: Matching wordcount: 1600

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The fact that Nagisa had a tinder account wasn’t something he really shared with anyone. At the time, he’d created it as a joke, a way of amusing his friend’s stupid suggestion. According to Kayano, it truly could be the solution to his lack of experience in the love life department. Nagisa hadn’t been too sure about that. He was more than aware of the application’s status and, no, he wasn’t really interested in finding people to just have sex with.

Yet, somehow, he still found himself swiping through people on the app one night. He was alone in his room, a little bored, and perhaps even a little too tired after a day’s worth of teaching. None of the people he came across really interested him much, although he had to admit that he’d probably give them a shot if he saw them in real life, just because he wanted to believe in the best in people.

This app, however, gave little to no information on someone’s personality. Then again, some people were very clear about looking for someone rich to provide for them, which Nagisa guessed his teacher’s salary wasn’t exactly right for, and he supposed that also said something about their personality and what they were like in a relationship. Nothing Nagisa really wished to deal with.

After swiping left on complete strangers in fear of one secretly being a stalker, murderer, or just having horrible table manners, he suddenly stopped when a familiar face popped up on his screen. the red hair, the golden eyes, that all too familiar smirk. Nagisa recognized exactly who he was seeing, yet somehow couldn't exactly process the idea. it just didn't seem entirely right.

Someone like Karma wouldn't need to use tinder, right?

He found himself staring at the title picture for a while before he realized he could scroll through and see more. it wasn't like he didn't know what karma looked like... but... he sure was curious about what karma was putting out there.

It didn't appear to be all that special at first. A selfie in a casual outfit, a picture of him at a bar with people Nagisa didn't recognize, a traveling picture, but the last picture was something else. This picture appeared professionally taken, or at the very least it wasn't a selfie and the picture was set up. Karma was posing in it, after all. Posing in a suit, the jacket in his hand, thrown over his shoulder as he glanced at the camera with those devilish eyes. Nagisa was nothing but taken back by it.

He shouldn't be staring, should he? This was his close friend and fellow assassin graduate, the staring was just weird. Yet, somehow, he couldn't look away from the picture and thought back to when he’d first met Karma, so many years ago now. He’d felt the same sense of awe back then. Karma was just so perfect, how couldn’t he. This picture, him as an adult looking like a literal model, was like a visual representation of everything Nagisa used to feel Karma was.

The sudden noise of the train passing near his apartment woke him up from his state. suddenly turning very red, he frantically moved his hands and went to swipe left, except his phone nearly fell out of his hands in the process. He caught it, hands all over the screen and, through his own fingers, he could see Karma being swiped right.

no. no nonono. please go back

Nagisa fumbled with his phone, hoping to undo his actions, but before he could do anything, a message popped up on the screen. He was surprised by it to say the least.

‘you've got a match’

A match. He matched. but that meant... Karma had swiped right on him as well?! why would he- probably as a joke. he probably came across nagisa and thought it was funny, right? Nagisa had to assume that was the truth, although deep in his mind a thought echoed around saying the exact opposite. Maybe he wanted it to not be a joke.

After panicking for a hot minute, his phone made a ping sound, indicating he’d gotten a message. He was too scared to look. Somehow, before even opening the message, he could already sense who it was from. Sure enough, once he finally did gather the courage to check the notification, his fears were proven right. This was the worst situation.

Karma: well well well, didnt take you as the tinder type

He considered ignoring it. What was that called again? Ghosting? Yes, he could ghost Karma. If he didn’t respond to the message, perhaps nothing else unfavourable would be happening. Well, Karma would probably mention it to him the next time they spoke in real life. That would probably be even worse. It wasn’t like he could ignore Karma for the rest of his life. It wasn’t like he wanted to.

Nagisa: i'm not

Karma: yet here you are.

Karma: swiping right on me ;)

The cockiness almost oozed out of the message. Nagisa was left frowning at his phone. The main thought going through his mind was that Karma was probably enjoying this. He was a sadist like that. He was having fun while Nagisa wanted to bury himself as deep underground as possible.

Nagisa: you swiped right first!

Nagisa: mine was an accident

Nagisa: I was surprised to see you on here and my phone dropped

Karma: ah, so you wouldn't swipe right on me :( am I too ugly?

Nagisa felt his face grow hot. He probably shouldn't look at his reflection if he wanted to save himself from the image of his head being a tomato. He didn't think karma was ugly. quite the opposite, actually. Not that he could say that. That would be weird. So, he tried to find some middle ground answer, not calling karma ugly or the opposite of that.

Nagisa: I never said that, I just didn't intend to swipe right on someone i'm already friends with.

There, no way that could be taken wrong. He considered sending an additional message, clarifying just how dropping his phone led to the swiping right, but decided against it. It would sound just a little too defensive.

Karma: well,its nice this gives us a chance to talk again anyways. appears youve been too busy to answrr my texts.

An awkward laugh escaped Nagisa as he looked away from his phone, forgetting Karma couldn't actually see his reaction. There was no reason to avoid eye contact when there was no eye contact to begin with. Still, he shared the sentiment. He kind of had forgotten to keep contact with people lately.

He blamed the new workplace. After finishing his days as a trainee, the new school he worked at was surprisingly more demanding. He always knew being a full time teacher was a lot of work, especially now that there was no one to keep an eye on him and remind him of certain teaching specifics of the school he taught at. Of course, the work was rewarding enough for him to barely think about his loss of contacts. He had a habit of treating those too loosely anyways.

Nagisa: ive just been working

Karma: workaholic

Nagisa: you literally have more work hours than me

Karma: and somehow you still spend as much time working as me.

The conversation went on like that for a bit, them going back and forth at each other. Overall, it wasn't a bad time. Nagisa kind of forgot about the actual use of the app, and the fact that he could just DM Karma on line whenever he wanted to, until Karma managed to bring back the conversation to it.

Karma: you know, usually when people match, they try to meet up for a date

Of course Nagisa was aware that that's what the app was for, it was sort of the reason he’d gotten it as well. However, he didn't think anything would lead anywhere for him, let alone with karma. surely karma wasn't being serious. it would be weird to go on a date with your friend.

and still, Nagisa endulged him, being so stupid as to ask further.

Nagisa: where do people even go on tinder dates?

Karma: anywhere they want to, usually just for drinks, easy way to lead them home a little tipsy afterwards

Nagisa: okay that sounds creepy

Karma: if that's not your style I could always take you out for dinner.

Karma: There's this new sushi restaurant near my place, looks like something you'd love.

somehow, he actually considered it. On any other day, that would sound insane to nagisa. Since when would he consider dating karma? Wait, not dating, going on a date with Karma. There was a difference. Sushi did sound great, and so did Karma's company. He supposed he hadn't really been out like that in a while. date or not.

Karma: i can even pick you up, very romantic

The word hit Nagisa a little hard. Romantic. What would that entail? Would they sit opposite of each other, send cute glances, maybe even hold hands beside the table? He wanted his mind to hate the idea of that, doing those things with his friend, ruining the relationship they already had. But, he also wanted to give in, say yes, and see where things would lead. At the very least, he'd have a fun night with good food.

Nagisa: you have a day in mind?

Karma: how's Saturday?

Nagisa: Saturday's fine

Karma: it's a date!

#KarmagisaWeek21 #Karma Akabane #Nagisa Shiota #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu #KaruNagi #karmagisa #fanfiction #fanfic #shipweek #anime #manga

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hangovercurse · 4 years ago

Text

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete about ix

Pete finds out about you and Colson

Colson X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, slut-shaming, sibling fighting

A/N: It’s done! Thank you all for reading this far, hope it’s lived up to expectations.

A/N 2: This is modeled after the (many) fights I’ve had with my siblings 😊

Word Count: 2277

| i | ii | iii | iv | v | vi | vii | viii |

“Just promise me that we tell him soon, okay?”

2 months later

Things had been going steadily with Colson since that first night he spent in your apartment. You’d honestly never felt happier in a relationship, except for the nagging fact that you still hadn’t told Pete. Every time Colson would ask about it, you’d feed him the same line, “I’m just not ready to handle that yet.”

You could tell he was tired of the sneaking around and the same old excuse, but you truthfully weren’t sure what the outcome would be. If Pete was going to be mad at you, you might as well enjoy what you had until then.

And were you enjoying it. You and Colson both had to admit that sneaking around everyone was thrilling. A few weeks into your relationship, he’d brought you on set of one of his music videos to “show you the process.” The process, it turns out, was hooking up in a side room while the crew was on lunch break.

You knew it would be so much better if you could be honest about your relationship. If you could go out on dates publicly or post the cute pictures you take of him on your Instagram, or literally anything a normal couple could do. But for now, you were happy.

Last night, Colson had come over with takeout and a bottle of champagne, setting up a picnic on the floor of your living room. You talked and kissed while different movies played in the background, the bubbly starting to get to your head. You almost let three very important words slip out, but somewhere deep in your brain, common sense still lingered.

You knew you loved him, but you didn’t want to pressure him into saying anything he wasn’t ready for. You wanted him to take the first step. So, you didn’t say anything. Instead, you let the night carry into morning, waking up to a loud knock on your door.

There was no part of you that was about to get up and open the door, so you just snuggled further into Colson and closed your eyes. But then, the lock clicked and the handle squeaked through the small apartment.

Your entire body was immediately on high alert, shaking Colson to wake him up. His tired eyes opened, finding you and shifting to immediate confusion. He opened his mouth to say something before he was interrupted by the voice of the intruder,

“Hey Y/N, mom wanted me to pick up the-“ The door of your bedroom opened, revealing a stunned Pete. His eyes shifted from you to Colson, and then back to you. He let out a scoff, shaking his head and leaving the room.

You sighed, jumping out of bed and throwing on the closest shirt, that just so happened to belong to Colson. “Pete!” You ran out of the room, grabbing onto his arm and stopping him from leaving, “please jus-“

“You are the most manipulative bitch I have ever met, and I’ve met a lot.” His voice was dark, furious. Your mind was running a mile a minute to figure out how to explain everything. “I asked you for one simple thing, and you can’t even fucking do that?”

Tears began to flood behind your eyes, panic taking over your body. You were already on edge from the earlier fear of someone being in your house, and you were incredibly tired. So combined with Pete yelling at you, even if you did deserve it, it was enough to send you into a spiral of negative thoughts and anger. “If you would act fucking rational when I tried to talk to you about it, maybe you would know that it wasn’t so simple!”

Pete chuckled, “right, sorry. I forgot that you’re a slut who can’t keep her fucking legs closed.”

His words hit you like a thousand punches, so much so that you physically took a step backwards. He took no notice, continuing to pour all his anger out on you. “And you’re a fucking liar. How long have you been whoring around with him? Because if I were to guess, it’d be a couple months by now, right?”

Colson, who was standing by the door to your room, not quite sure what to do with himself, spoke up, “Pete, st-“

“How many of my other friends have you been fucking?” Pete ignored his friend, eyes still seeing red and focusing on you. “I mean, seriously, what is this? Did I do something wrong? Did you want to hurt me? Is this you getting back at me for something, by fucking around with my friends?”

Tears were falling freely from your eyes, embarrassment and hurt coursing through your veins. “You always make everything about you, Pete. You never fucking consider anyone else except your goddamn self.”

You shoved his chest harshly, turning and walking towards your bedroom. You pushed past Colson, who tried to comfort you, slamming the door behind you. You sat on the bed and let everything weigh down on you, Pete’s words ringing in your ears. Part of you was angry with him, telling you that he was in the wrong. But another part of you was angry at yourself for not being a good sister.

Outside the door, Pete had turned his anger towards Colson. “Get out.” Your boyfriend had tried to talk reason with Pete, but your brother was having none of it. “You are not my fucking friend, okay? Not anymore.”

“Pete, you’re being ridiculous, ju-“

“I’m not being fucking ridiculous!” Pete yelled, “that’s my fucking sister. You could fuck anyone else in the goddamn world and you chose to fuck my little sister? That’s fucked, dude.”

Colson was overcome by the urge to defend your relationship, “I fucking love her, Pete. Okay? Goddamn.” For the first time since Pete walked out of your room, he was quiet. “Do you think I would risk my entire relationship with you for some fuck? Do you think she would?”

He didn’t wait for a response, instead turning and walking into your room. The sight of you curled up, knees to your chest, made Colson’s heart break. He climbed on the bed behind you, back to the headboard, and pulled you into his lap. He could feel your body shake with every sob, so he just held you tightly in his arms.

When he could feel you physically start to calm down, he whispered gently, “I love you.”

You’d always hoped whenever you heard those words from him, you’d feel relieved, knowing your relationship was as real to him as it was to you. But right now you were only filled with dread. You didn’t want him to love you, because it made everything seem so much worse. How had you let it get this far?

Before you could respond, Colson continued, “I love you, but I can’t stay with you.” You leaned further into his chest, staring blankly ahead of you. “I want you to be happy, and you won’t be if you lose Pete.”

Your lip quivered as you whispered out, “I love you too.”

Colson sighed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, before moving to climb out of the bed. Tears blurred your vision as you watched him walk out of the room. Him leaving only made you fall even more in love with him, which hurt like a bitch.

When Colson came into view of Pete, the younger man studied him, but not in anger. “Did you really mean that?”

Colson sighed, “that I love her? Yeah, I do.” Pete was sat on the couch, rubbing his hands over his face to try and calm himself down. “But I’m not about to let you ruin your relationship with her over me. So, if you want me gone, I’m gone.”

Pete was silent for a few moments, and Colson could feel his own heartbeat slowing down, the thought of losing you for good finally hitting him. “How long?”

The older man sat on the other side of the couch, elbows on his knees, “It’s complicated. I asked her out the day after we met but then I broke it off like a week later when you guys got in that fight about it.” Pete nodded to confirm he remembered, “then we tried the whole “friends” thing for like a month, but it obviously didn’t work. Then two months later, here we are.”

Pete was staring blankly at the black TV screen in front of him, absorbing the blonde’s words. “Why didn’t you guys just tell me?” Pete’s voice was weak, guilt and regret slowly sinking into his system.

Colson hung his head, “because she wanted to put this off as long as possible, I think. I tried to get her to talk to you about it but she wasn’t ready. I don’t think I was either, truthfully. I figured once you knew, if it were as bad as she thought it would be, I would lose her.”

“You would really leave if it meant keeping her and me from fighting?” Colson could feel his heart stop at Pete’s words, the expected heartbreak on the horizon.

“If it meant she was happy, yeah.”

Pete rested his head in his hands, sighing deeply, “I’m an asshole.”

This took Colson by surprise, as it was not the response he was expecting. He thought he’d be thrown out immediately. “What do you mean?”

“We have this rule that we don’t fuck each other’s friends because then someone gets hurt and one of us would probably lose a friend. So, I flipped out when she brought it up because I really didn’t want to be put in that situation.” Pete paused, looking up to his friend, “But obviously you’re serious about her and you make her happy.”

Colson replied sincerely, “you know I’m never gonna hurt her, right?”

“I’ll kill you if you do, best friend or not.”

“That’s fair.”

The two men sat in silence for a while before they broke out into laughter, Pete reaching over to shove Colson’s shoulder, “I’m sorry for being a dick.”

Colson nodded, laughing it off, “I’m not the one you need to apologize to.”

Pete knocked on your door lightly, not waiting for a response before slowly walking in. You hadn’t moved since Colson left; your eyes still blankly focused on the wall in front of you. He sat down beside you and pulled you into his side, head resting on his shoulder. “I didn’t mean any of that,” his voice was hushed but sincere. “I was hurt and confused and I said things in the moment that I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”

You shrugged, “you don’t have to apologize. I deserved it.” When you spoke, your voice was flat, void of all emotion. Just how you felt.

Pete sighed, “no, you didn’t. You tried to talk to me about it months ago and I blew up on you. I can’t blame you for not telling me.”

“It’s fine Pete, it’s over anyways.” You wanted to scream at yourself for falling too easily and at him for making assumptions, but you couldn’t find the strength. “It was more than just sex though, Pete.”

“I know, I was being an asshole.” He squeezed you closer into his side, “I should’ve realized you wouldn’t hook up with one of my friends unless it was serious.”

You whispered, “I didn’t mean for it to get this far.” Your voice was strained, “I wanted to tell you but I knew when you found out that you’d get mad and then something like this would happen. But I really fucking liked him, I just wanted to hold onto it while I could.”

“I was mad. Dude, I was pissed when I walked in.” Pete could feel you tense up at his words, “but you’re my sister and he’s my best friend. I just want you guys to be happy. And I might not like it, but he makes you happy.”

You sighed in relief, “you know I would never try to hurt you, right? Like I didn’t do this to make you mad or put you in a weird spot. It just kind of happened.”

Pete chuckled, “yeah, I know. And I’m sorry for saying all that shit. I was mad, you know how I get.”

You rolled your eyes, “you mean I know that you’re crazy? Yes, I am very aware.”

He shoved your shoulder lightly, the two of you sitting in comfortable silence for a moment before he broke it. “If you two make me third wheel, I swear I’ll kill you both.”

“Have you two met yourselves? I feel like I’m third wheeling you guys when we all hang out,” you giggled, climbing out of the bed. “I think you owe me sushi now.”

Pete gave you a very confused expression, “you snuck around with my best friend behind my back. If anything, you ow me sushi.”

“You called me a slut and a bitch. And you embarrassed me in front of my boyfriend.” You said matter-of-factly, a small smile on your face to let Pete know you’d already started to get over it.

He rolled his eyes, getting up and moving to the living room, “that just makes us even.”

“I’m suing you for emotional damages.” You joked as you followed him, sitting on the couch next to Colson, leaning into him, “the court has determined you owe me sushi.”

Colson looked between you both, confused, “so, you two are good now?” Pete and you nodded, smiling. “Siblings are fuckin’ weird, man.”

Tag list @corpse-babe @sesamepancakes

#Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker angst #mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #colson imagine #pete davidson

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fruitcoops · 4 years ago

Note

Hi!! So I was listening to paper rings by Taylor Swift today and the lyric 'I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings' made me think of coops and o'knutzy. Could you write a prompt about this?! <3

This song is so perfect for Coops and it’s the best way to start of the long-awaited wedding series! Yay! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

Combined with:

1. Domestic Coops

2. Remus making fun of Sirius’ initials

3. Sirius trying to make Remus moan while he’s on the phone with his folks

4. From @colored-rain: Taking Hattie to the vet

TW for mild smutty content, taking a pet to the vet, and the inherent stress of wedding planning

I: Six Weeks Before the Wedding

“Where are we even going to do this?” Sirius asked, running a hand through his hair.

Remus shook his head silently, pressing his forehead into the wooden edge of the table. “What if we elope?”

“Celeste would skin us both.”

“True. Oh, god, my dad would cry if we did that.” Remus slid down in his seat and stared up with sad eyes. “Can’t we just be married already?”

“I could get tinfoil from the kitchen and just…” Sirius mimed wrapping it around his ring finger and Remus snorted.

“Baby, I would marry you with paper rings, but I think we want them to last.”

“You like shiny things!”

“I do, that doesn’t mean I want tinfoil on my hand for the rest of my life,” Remus laughed, pulling him in for a quick kiss. “Alright, let’s go through our list again. We agreed on small, right?”

“Just the team and families. We still want it to be outside?”

“Yep.” Remus checked off two boxes on the piece of paper they had been grappling with for the past four days. “Rings have already been ordered?”

“I’m doing that this afternoon. What kind of cake do we want?”

“Uhhh…an edible one?” Remus shrugged. “I don’t have a huge preference. Chocolate is really good but all the ones from the store are spongy.”

“Wow, an edible cake, so original,” Sirius teased. “We can ask Celeste what she thinks.”

“Good plan.” He paused for a moment. “Where outside will we do it? We need an actual venue. I think people would be upset if we just had a wedding in a public park.”

“The media would be all over it, too.” Sirius scrunched his nose up in thought just as their timer went off and both sighed as they headed for the door. “It’s going to be hard to focus on practice when we know next to nothing about the wedding we’ve been planning for over six months.”

“We’re disasters.”

II: Four Weeks Before the Wedding

“We’re not putting that on the cards.”

“Why not?” Sirius frowned and looked down at the mock-up invitation. “It’s our initials. It’s cute.”

Remus blinked at him. “Sirius. Your initials.”

“Do you not want my initials on our joint wedding invitation?”

“I would love to have your initials on our joint wedding invitation, except for the part where it’s the same acronym as ‘son of a bitch’.”

Sirius paused, then groaned and put his hands over his face. “Fuck, I forgot about that.”

“You forgot your own initials?”

“I forgot the son of a bitch thing!”

“Okay, I clearly don’t tease you enough for that,” Remus snickered, wrapping an arm around his waist to kiss his cheek. “Alright, attempt number eight is a bust.”

III: Three Weeks Before the Wedding

Sirius ran his fingers gently through Remus’ hair, feeling him shift in the darkness. “What’s on your mind, mon amour?”

“Are we changing our last names?”

“Did we…not discuss that?” Sirius wracked his brain, but it was so exhausted from wedding topics that he came up empty.

“I don’t think so.” Remus scooted around so he was on his side, facing Sirius. “Both our names are super connected to our jobs. Plus, Lupin-Black might be a little long for jerseys.”

“I’d rather not go through the whole name-change process.” There was a beat of quiet. “Though I do like the sound of Sirius Lupin.”

Remus’ breath audibly caught and he leaned closer to Sirius, nuzzling against his shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

IV: Eighteen Days Before the Wedding

Remus’ back hit the mattress with a soft bounce that was quickly stilled by Sirius’ weight pressing him down by the hips, his mouth skimming along all the right places on Remus’ neck. “Yes,” he hissed as Sirius ground down, their bare chests bumping together. He dipped his hands beneath the waistband of Sirius’ sweats and he shivered, nipping the hinge of his jaw.

“Wait,” Sirius gasped, pulling back to straddle Remus’ waist.

“What? Is this a flamingo moment?” Remus panted, still buzzing with arousal.

“Did we invite your parents to the wedding?”

Remus stared at him in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I don’t think we did.”

“Sirius, you are literally about to—holy fuck, did we invite my parents?”

“I don’t know!”

Remus groaned and let his head fall back against the pillows before tapping Sirius’ hip and swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and dialed his mother’s number, taking a few deep breaths to collect himself as it rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, mom, how’s it going?”

“Oh, it’s going fine out here. How’s wedding planning?” Hope asked. Remus could hear her smiling.

“That’s what I’m calling about, actually. Did you—” He bit his lip as Sirius’ fingertips trailed up his thigh. “Uh, did you get an invitation?”

Hope was silent for a moment, save for a few rustling sounds. “Now that you mention it, I don’t think so. Lyall! Honey, did Re send us a wedding invitation?” There was a low humming noise as his father responded. “He says we didn’t get one.”

Remus winced. “Sorry about that. I can text you the details, if you want.”

“Will you mail one as well? I want to put it in our memory box.”

Sirius’ hand slid further along Remus’ leg, growing closer to his inner thigh by the second and doing nothing to quell his frayed nerves. “Yeah—yeah, mom, we totally can.”

“Are you alright? You sound a bit out of breath.”

“Hattie was running around and being a little crazy.” Remus covered the speaker with his hand and turned to glare at Sirius, who grinned and kissed his cheekbone.

“Okay,” Hope sounded skeptical. “So you’re not getting sick or anything?”

“Nope. Healthy as a horse.” The last word came out a little breathless as Sirius licked a stripe up his neck and bit down on the junction to his shoulder, making Remus’ eyes flutter closed. He smacked Sirius’ hand halfheartedly and felt him grin.

“How’s Sirius doing?”

“Fine, he’s fine. We’re a little stressed with the wedding planning and everything, but things are good here.” Really good, he thought as the heel of Sirius’ hand pressed down just next to his dick. He swallowed down a moan and squeezed his eyes shut. “Alright, I’ll text the details to you this afternoon love you mom bye.”

“Love you t—”

A millisecond after the call ended, Remus slammed his phone into the nightstand and pushed Sirius into the sheets, bracketing his face with his elbows. “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m just keeping things interesting.” Sirius tugged his lower lip between his teeth and smirked, which really left Remus with only one option: kissing him senseless until he couldn’t even remember his own name.

V: Three Days Before the Wedding

Sirius’ leg bounced up and down nervously and he gripped Remus’ hand as they waited in the lobby of the vet’s office. “She’ll be okay.” His voice was noticeably higher than usual and he cleared his throat. “She’ll be fine. It’s just a cough.” A cough that’s been going on for four and a half days.

Remus hummed his agreement, though he hadn’t stopped twisting Hattie’s leash in his hands since they arrived. “Just a cough. Probably a cold, or—or something like that.”

The doors ahead opened and both of them stood as Hattie trotted out next to the vet tech, who looked rather amused. “What’s wrong with her?” Sirius asked, scanning her for any signs of illness. “Is she alright?”

“She is a very talented actress,” the vet said, rubbing Hattie behind the ears. She whined pitifully and cuddled into Sirius’ side. “Have you two been busy lately?”

“We’re planning for our wedding.” Remus looked as confused as Sirius felt. “Why?”

“Because Miss Hattie here is one of the healthiest, snuggliest dogs I’ve ever seen.”

“But she was coughing.”

“She was faking.” The vet knelt next to her and petted down her back, raising an eyebrow. “Weren’t you, munchkin?”

“Hattie!” Sirius exclaimed, torn between relief and shock. “You little monster!”

Remus frowned and tapped her forehead lightly as he slid her leash on over her head. “We were so worried about you! Why would you do that?”

“She’s probably been sulking because you’re busy with wedding stuff,” the vet said with a smile. “Quite the drama queen you’ve got there.”

“Tell me about it,” Sirius huffed as he kissed her head. “Don’t ever do that again, young lady. You’re in big trouble when we get home.”

“Thank you for your help,” Remus said, shaking the vet’s hand. “We really appreciate it and we’re so sorry for wasting your time.”

“Are you kidding? She was the best part of my day,” he laughed. “All the other techs can’t stop talking about Hattie cuddles now. Have a good one, you three.”

+1: The Lions, the Media, and the Locker Room

Word spread like wildfire in media circles, and the rumor mill had never worked harder once news of the Black-Lupin wedding came out.

Naturally, the Lions decided to have a little fun with it.

“Pots! Pots, what can you tell us about Black and Lupin’s wedding?” Four different microphones were shoved into his personal space, but James put on his best confused face.

“What wedding?”

A wave of murmuring spread through the reporters. “So you weren’t invited to Sirius Black and Remus Lupin’s wedding?”

“There’s a wedding?”

Across the room, two other interviewers mobbed Thomas Walker in his stall. “Talker, do you know anything about Black and Lupin’s wedding?”

“Who?” he asked with a perfect act of innocence.

“Sirius Black and Remus Lupin.”

He bit his lip. “I don’t think I know them, sorry. Are they fans?”

“Talkie!” Remus tossed him a towel from the adjacent stall, and he caught it with a grin.

“Heads up, Loops!” Talker threw it right back and headed toward the ice baths with a wink to the cameras. “Good chat, guys.”

One of the interviewers muttered under their breath and hurried over to Pascal, who was still unlacing his skates. “Dumo, when is the wedding between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin?”

Dumo frowned. “Quoi?”

“The wedding. You were invited, yes?”

“Desole, je ne parle pas l’anglais,” he said regretfully. “C’est un…wedding?”

“Yes, the wedding between your teammates.”

“These words, I don’t know them.” His French accent was almost comically thick as he shook his head. “Desole.”

Out of view of the cameras, Sirius gave him a thumbs-up and reached over to high-five Pots.

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matryosika · 4 years ago

Text

shoot me, chapter VI

pairing — changbin x reader

rating — 18+

genre of the overall series — smut, angst, fluff if you squint

prologue chapter I chapter II chapter III chapter IV chapter V chapter VI

word count for this chapter — 4.1 k

warnings — mentions of alcohol and emotional abuse

note — this chapter has no smut in it. still, the love-story gets completely developed here. next chapters will be filled with smut and angst so stay tuned! i haven't read this chapter because i wanted to upload it as soon as possible, so it may contain grammar mistakes. i will check it later since i have to go out with my family to have dinner! <3 hope you enjoy

taglist:@cozyblues @ahgasearmyfan @binnie-m00n @minaamhh @pinkishwen @spilledtee

[changbin's pov]

"so?" you asked him, modeling one of the dresses that you had previously selected from the expensive clothing shop "what do you think?"

she looks like a goddess.

"good" changbin limited to reply. "is that the last one?"

"c'mon you are not helping at all" you grunted, turning around slightly on the mirror to see the full silhouette of the dress "this might be the one, don't you think?"

i think so. i think you look perfect in all the things you have tried on, actually.

"it's alright" the dark-haired man reply "just take that one and let's get this over with"

"jesus, changbin" you whined "you are such a pain in the ass. if you were in a bad mood then you shouldn't have accepted to drive me here so i can buy a dress for the wedding"

you had been in korea for a month and 2 weeks now, your relationship with changbin growing unconciously intimate as you often engage in sexual encounters with him. you wouldn't say the both of you were close, but each day that passed by you could feel how you learned more about him just like he learned more about you too. you wouldn't consider him a good friend, since hostility made a presence every now and then between the both of you, but you had learned to spend time with him without feeling the need to put plugs into your ears and a blindfold to stop acknowledging his existence.

"if you needed help picking a dress" changbin interrupted, standing up from the seat he had been occupying for the last 45 minutes "you should've asked hyejin or ryujin to come and help you out, not me"

"hyejin is busy" you were quick to respond "ryujin had work today and you were the only other person i know that owns a car"

"cabs exist"

"yeah well" you made a pause, swallowing hard "i don't like cabs"

"you could've asked arthur to lend you his private driver" changbin tilted his head slightly.

"i get uncomfortable with strangers" you answered after a few seconds of being completely silent, changbin's gaze making you incredibly nervous.

"really?" he inquired, one of his hands traveling all the way to the pocket of his jacket as he pulled his wallet out. "why won't you just admit that you wanted to spend time with me?"

"fuck no" a grimace of disgust was quick to appear on your face "don't get confused. i would rather be dead than to spend more time with you than i already have to"

"yet you are still here" he teased "maybe i'm not as unbearable as your mind is trying to convince you i truly am"

with lazy steps he took the bunch of dresses that were piled up on the chair next to him, putting them all over his shoulder as he walked to the counter. "what are you doing?" you asked, still wearing the last dress you tried on.

"you are indecisive and i am starving" he said without even looking at you "i don't need to spend another 45 minutes here looking at how much you struggle to pick between 5 dresses, just have them all and pick one when you are alone"

you looked at him in desbelief "do you have any idea of how much just one of them cost? are you stupid?" you almost yelled in astonishment, looking at the figure of changbin slightly turning around to face you.

"i am not stupid" changbin reply "like i said, i am just hungry"

and currently thinking about how beautiful you are looking right now with that look of amazement on your pretty face. if i could, i would buy you the entire world just for you to destroy.

[y/n's pov]

"i will pay every single one of those dresses back before i leave" you mumbled, eating your food as if you had been starving for days "i had money, i didn't need you to come and rescue me as if i was some sort of damsel in distress"

"you were in distress though" he added, taking a sip of the drink he ordered "you took almost 30 minutes just to pick one dress to try on, you are really undecisive"

"yeah well, it's not like i had anywhere else to be" you replied.

"isn't arthur going to have a small gathering at his house today?" changbin inquired "like a pre-celebration of the wedding or something?"

you shrugged your shoulders "i don't know and i don't care. i am just here for the wedding and then i will be finally free"

you kept on eating your plate of food, confused as to why changbin's gaze stayed fix on you. "what, do i have something on my f-?"

"are you leaving right after the wedding?" he asked in a very hostile way, almost as if he had completely forgot that you were not going to stay forever.

"not right after but that's the main reason i came here, yeah" you replied, having a mixture of feelings inside your guts.

you couldn't deny the fact that you missed tsukuba, but living there meant to be trapped in the university dorms 24/7 just studying. but still, the lifestyle you have had for the past time was absolutely something you could get use to it: ryujin, hyejin, going out on the weekends, being free from school, changbin...

changbin?

"i still don't know the exact date though" you added "school doesn't start for me in another months so..."

"how is your life?" he asked, earning a weird look from you as you couldn't quite understand his question "in Japan, i mean"

you sighed. you had thought that living in japan was really good and you felt utterly comfortable living there until you arrived to korea and discovered a whole new life style that you had already learned to love. not only that, but leaving everything here was going to get you a bit nostalgic in the future. "it is great, better than people say it is honestly" you responded as he nodded "i live at the university dorms so life is pretty much everything but rushed. i spend my days at the library studying, i sometimes work as a shadow teacher for like 4 or 5 kids and on weekends i go and visit my mom and her partner"

"your mom got married after divorcing arthur?" changbin followed, just in time as he finished his dish of food.

"uh, it's complicated" you gave him a smile "she lives with someone and she is very happy"

"and are you?"

you were about to answer the question when you felt a pinch on your heart. a month ago you would have replied "yes" without a doubt. you thought you were happy living in japan, you thought you were happy when you visited thea, your mother, and reiko, her girlfriend. you thought you were happy when reiko made you her special coffee and you thought you were happy when they ocasionally visited you on winter nights at your dorm. you thought you were happy when you worked with children and spent time with them. you thought you were happy when you rode your bike from school to work and you thought you were happy when ryejin visited you and your mom on the holidays.

however, you had learned a new definition of happiness here.

"are you?" you fired back.

changbin slightly tilted his head as he laid completely back on his seat "i could be"

"what is exactly stopping you from being happy?" you asked him, intruiged.

"even if i explained it to you" he mumbled "i don't think you will be able to understand it"

"ah, there you are again" you scoffed, slightly rolling your eyes "your god complex has not show all day. i guess you missed it."

"c'mon" he grunted, raising his hand at one of the waiters at the restaurant "let's go somewhere else"

"where exactly?" you laughed "to your place? your car? a motel? jesus changbin, you can't really go a day without fucking, can you?"

"that's not actually what i had in mind" he replied, taking out his credit card as he saw the waiter approaching the table "but i mean if you want to fuck i won't say no"

"you had something in mind?" you asked, faking excitment "for me? you planned something for me?"

"if you want i can drop you at arthur's place right now so he can force you to have dinner with him and his bride. it's up to you"

you weren't really feeling like spending "quality time" with your father, and you also knew that hyejin was probably not going to attent the dinner, so there was no point of you being there. but at the same time, the thought of spending time with changbin doing non-sexual activities was something that it always made you nervous for an unknown reason, and you were feeling particularly nervous today.

"whatever"

the evening went on peacefully and that alone was unreal. he drove you to the center of seoul and suggested to take a walk around the most popular avenues because "the city looked better at night", something you have always believed too.

changbin was attractive and, even though your personalities crashed every damn time, you couldn't deny the fact that there were some sort of intimate bond going on between the both of you since that very first night at the bar. still, you wouldn't accept it. you wouldn't accept that the one person you disliked the most was starting to change your mind.

and you couldn't get yourself to trust him either. you couldn't trust any men, for that matter.

"have you thought about which dress you are going to wear tomorrow?" he asked so casually, his hands inside the pockets of his jacket as his gaze diverted from building to building.

"no" you replied, trying to get back at the trail of thoughts you had been threading since you left the restaurant with him. "have you?"

"have i thought about the dress i am going to wear tomorrow?" he laughed "i don't know, it will depend on which one you lend me"

"i got distracted" you admitted "but i will try on all the dresses tomorrow morning and i will give you the rest of them so you can return them to the store"

"i won't do that" he clicked his tongue "i bought them for you"

your heart skipped a beat after hearing those words and it was everything but pleasent.

"i don't want them"

"you can't reject a gift" he mumbled "that's the whole point of a gift"

"i will sell them on the internet" you threatened.

"do it, at the end of the day they are yours" he gave you a side look while smirking "but i wouldn't sell them if i were you. you look good in them"

"oh so you want to give opinions about the dresses now, huh?" you asked, mildly annoyed "you could've help me back at the store but you chose to be grumpy"

"at least i am helping you now"

"you are unbearable" you whispered.

a bright smile was quick to appear on his face. a genuine smile, as if he was enjoying the conversation. not only the conversation but the whole moment: you and him, walking around the city and talking about something so casual and trivial like which clothes you were going to wear tomorrow or which dress he liked best on you.

and for a moment it felt nice.

you felt safe.

"the red one was pretty" he added. you looked at him confused, once again lost in your trail of thoughts. "the red dress, the one that you tried on last"

"good" you responded "i'll make sure not to wear that one"

"you hate me that much?" he teased while a faint chuckle left his lips.

"oh changbin, you have no idea" deep down knowing it wasn't more than a vile lie.

you looked in the mirror one last time before you heard hyejin calling your name once again "y/n, how long will you take? i need to stop by the bakery to pick up the wedding cake"

"i'll be out in a minute" you replied, noticing how your hands got sweatier by the second.

you were quite nervous, but couldn't really understand why. maybe the sole thought of your father having his "happy ending" made you jealous because you knew that he did not deserve that at all; he didn't deserve the love he had.

the emotional abuse your mother and you suffered throughout your childhood and adolescence was not something that could be fixed in a month or two and you were certain about it. no matter how happy your father was, you couldn't help but to feel jealous about how he never had to suffer like you and your mother did.

and even though you got over your negative feelings towards him, the scars and aftermath of an abusive household still caught up on you: the mistrust, the negativity, the hostility and the lack of commitment were things you had to deal with on a daily basis.

of course he was the one to blame. but you were an adult now, and you were supposed to deal with all those issues by yourself. no one was going to fix them for you.

"jesus y/n, we are running late" hyejin busted the door open "are you ready now?"

"yes" you were quick to respond, grabbing the purse on your bed and trying to quickly divert from your sister's gaze.

"wait" she mumbled, gripping both of your shoulder as you intended to the leave the room "why are you tearing up?"

"i am not" you replied "i yawned"

she didn't look convinced, but still decided not to push any further "i'll meet you in the car, i just have to grab a few things"

you nodded and made your way through the hallway. because of how rushed she was, you didn't have a chance to tell hyejin how gorgeous she looked. she was wearing a golden shiny dress that embraced her body just fine and carrying a maching clutch with it. she was really pretty, maybe the prettiest woman you had ever seen, and not only that but she was also very smart. any guy would be head over heels for her, but she still decided not to engage in a "silly love story" as she called them because "it is a waste of her precious time, and time is money"

you wished you had the same mentality as she did, but you grew up getting educated on how love was portrayed in books, movies and television. it was ironic how you were the first person on earth to deny that love actually existed, but you were still a hopeless romantic after all.

[changbin's pov]

"changbin, are you too far from the church?" haeun, his mother, asked desperately as changbin picked up the phone.

"i'm right outside" he grunted "i told you i was not going to be late"

"we are sitting on the second bench at the left of the altar" the old woman added "hurry up"

changbin hung up the phone and cursed under his breath. the weather today was maybe too nice for his own liking and his clothes were a bit too uncomfortable to be wearing them under the sun.

as quickly as he could, he closed the door of his car and started walking towards the entrance, making sure that the ceremony hadn't started just yet so he wouldn't make a scene.

"did you bring the gift?" jang-yeop inquired as he sat down next to him and changbin nodded "did you also bring your mother the pair of shoes?"

"yes" he responded "how long is this going to take?"

"40-45 minutes?" his father replied "i have no idea, what time is it?"

"7:02 p.m." haeun was quick to answer "now, the both of you shut up"

right after she mumbled those words, music started to sound on the church. changbin, being in a rush to get to his seat before the ceremony started, didn't notice that arthur was already standing up next to the altar and waiting for his soon-to-be wife. changbin's gaze was fixed on arthur, then it diverted into the bride walking down the aisle and then returned to arthur once again. he never thought about marriage or building a family. hell, he never thought about having a romantic relationship that would last longer than a few months actually. but as he grew older, and as he experienced new stuff, he wasn't sure if he still had the same mentality he used to have last year.

to changbin, arthur seemed genuinely happy. his half-lidded eyes along with that bright smile he was wearing indicated that the man was living one of the happiest days of his life. and as changbin witnessed that romantic scene, the question that popped up in the conversation he had with you last night grabbed his attention once again.

what exactly is stopping me from being happy?

and before he could respond himself with words, his eyes had already found the answer: standing on the bench at the right of the altar and wearing that promising dark red dress that could drive any man insane, the woman he never dreamed of looking just as beautiful as the very first day he met her.

not being able to have her completely.

[y/n's pov]

after the ceremony, a big party was held at a very elegant event hall located in one of the tallest buildings of seoul. you were not particularly excited about having to see arthur's side of the family, but you still managed to keep yourself together the whole time.

"you are wearing the red dress" a sudden voice whispered into your ear as you were counting the tables that were still missing their dinner plates, an order given by hyejin. you slightly turned around to meet changbin's breath dancing on your neck and nape, goosebumps filling every single inch of your skin due to the proximity.

"congratulations" you sighed "your vision is crystal clear"

"i have been watching you since the ceremony" changbin added "i can't help but think about how pretty you are going to look when you are taking that dress off for me"

a spark of electricity traveled around your whole body and directly into your core. you immediatly looked around and notice a few people who worked for arthur's company sitting not that far away from the both of us "do you really want to do this here?" you asked "aren't you scared of being caught by any of arthur's friends?"

"are you concerned about that now?" he chuckled "that didn't seem to bother you at the company's elevator"

"c'mon" you whispered, your back slightly pressing against his chest "i have to help hyejin with some stuff"

changbin slightly gripped your hand and guided you to the dancefloor that was crowded with couples dancing around "i am sure that she can handle all of this by herself"

before you could protest, you took out your phone and sent her a message with the information she asked for. you had no idea what changbin was up to, but you still decided to follow him.

changbin positioned his hands on your waist as he gracefully dragged you across the dancefloor, looking for a spot in the middle of the crowd so it would be easier for the two of you to get lost.

"you are spending the night at my place" he mumbled over the slow songs that were now playing. it wasn't a question nor a petition, it was an order.

"yeah right" you chuckled "if you are too desperate to fuck we can do that, but i am not fond of sleepovers"

the thought of you spending the night with him was terrifying, but you would've been lying if you said that you hadn't think about what it would be like to wake up next to his him.

"i wasn't asking" he responded. "tell me when you are ready to leave".

with a swift movement, your whole body was pressed against his, his hands resting on your lowerback as you both swinged from side to side, following the rythm of the song. this was a whole new side of him that you didn't know it existed, and you couldn't deny that you were loving every second of it.

"who thaught you how to dance, huh?" you asked, your gaze fixed on his eyes that looked even brighter because of all the lights adorning the hall.

"there is so much about me that you don't know" he replied.

"oh i know everything there is to know about you, changbin" you scoffed "but let's see if you can keep surprising me"

it wasn't even midnight but people were already starting to get completely intoxicated with alcohol. arthur had spent the night dancing with ara and, after she was done being the unofficial wedding planner, hyejin ended up getting wasted with the small group of friends she invited to the wedding. you, on the other hand, spent the night dancing with changbin and eating your dinner with him.

it was not unusual to see the both of you together since you spent too much time at the company, but tonight it was sort of different. the looks he gave you, the way you two danced for hours on end, the way he was treating you... it felt different, a little bit more personal and intimate. his parents probably noticed this too, since they made a lof of comments about "how happy they were about us being really good friends". if only they knew.

"i think i am ready" you said to changbin after telling hyejin that you were going to spend the night somewhere else. she nodded her head and agreed to say, if asked, that "you were at ryujin's" even when she wasn't invited to the wedding in the first place. you just smiled at her and nodded, not leaving without telling one of her sober friends to look out for her.

"don't worry" the pretty pale girl mumbled "she will stay at my house tonight"

you glanced over to arthur and ara who were still having the greatest time of their lives on the dancefloor, and proceeded to walk away from the party with changbin. "you parents will stay here?"

"yeah, they will leave in an hour or so" changbin replied "i told them that you wanted to go home and that i was going to drive you"

"perks of living alone i guess" you joked.

the walk through the empty corridors of the building felt eerie as the loud sound of the music were still ringing in your ears. even though you were walking on your own, you could still feel changbin's ablazing touch on your body and that only provoked your heartbeat to go even faster.

as you waited for the elevator to open their doors, changbin's lips unexpectedly crashed against yours. it wasn't a passionate kiss, and it wasn't rushed either. it was just a kiss, an innocent kiss, a kiss you give to your significant other as a demostration of how much you love them. his soft lips dragged against yours as his teeth bite softly your bottom lip, earning a small whine from you. his hands, that were now located into your waist, guided you to the insides of the elevator once the doors were opened.

"you look so beautiful tonight" he whispered interrupting, his breathing getting faster each second that passed by "i can't get you out of my head"

his lips left yours to meet the sensitive spots on your neck, peppering soft kisses all over the surface. your gaze found the reflection of the scene in the mirror of the elevator, looking at how changbin was tasting every inch of your skin with his eyes closed, his rushed hands traveling all the way from your waist to your lower back trying to memorize every single trace of your body.

"i don't want to hurt you tonight" he continued "no roughness, no pain, no petnames. i want to make you completely mine, in the most pure way"

and for the night, you agreed to let your feelings out and let go.

no fear and no mistrust, you were ready to face the overwhelming feelings that had been building up inside you since the day you met him.

even if you could potentially regret it later...

#stray kids smut #skz smut #stray kids x reader #changbin x reader #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz oneshots #stray kids oneshots #seo changbin smut #kpop smut

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zaptap · 4 years ago

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ive made a few of these bingo sheets and theyre fun so i decided to make one not just for e3 but also JUST for splatoon 3 (not just for e3 but for like the whole lifetime of the game). also heres my updated list of characters id like to see in smash, ordered generally by which id like more and/or think are the most realistic

since min min got in i took out helix, and since i couldnt decide whether to add in waluigi or madeline i added another row (realistically i dont think any indies are getting in but i threw some in anyway). also i was like “oh yeah maybe theyd put in a gen viii pokemon” so i threw in hatterene since thats one of my favorites.

also as for waluigi (and shovel knight for that matter) i think it would be nice to see an assist trophy get in just to break that rule. also i remember being super surprised he wasnt in brawl (back then i thought he and wario were equally important) and even though that was based on a wrong impression ive still felt like he should be in there ever since

notes about the bingos under the cut

really is about time for those n64 games, especially now that mario is dead so theyre free to release sm64 on it. game boy games would be nice sometime too

would also make sense to include banjo-kazooie in that, nintendos had a good relationship with microsoft lately and the total absence of anything banjo-kazooie on the switch is odd since it’s a dlc character (every other one has a game on switch they can use for cross-marketing, even if joker’s took a while) and i think the best explanation for that would be that theyre holding off for the nso n64 app (this is easiest from a technical standpoint because all they have to do is make a deal to use the roms)

when are they putting octolings in mk8d

xenoblade chronicles x is one of the only wii u games left that they could port (aside from ones that wouldnt make much sense like splatoon and ssb4) so i guess that might as well happen sometime. also monolith soft might be doing something else besides helping with splatoon 3

im not ready for metroid prime 4 (im over halfway through mp2 and therefore the trilogy as a whole) but it’s been a while, they might show it and it could even come out this year

hal apparently recently hinted at a new kirby game or something

the upgraded switch is obviously going to be called the Nintendo Switch ͥ since they already did the ds lite so theyre clearly naming everything in the family after the ds family, theres absolutely no flaw in this logic. idk if theyre showing it, but unlike 2019 they didnt say they werent showing new hardware (just that they were showing software, which could be taken as denying rumors, but they sometimes specify when certain things arent being shown)

metroid prime trilogy also might come this year. would make sense to release it before mp4 since not everyone is going to buy a wii u to get it (and at this point that doesnt get nintendo any money since they stopped making them)

where is detective pikachu 2. i hope it has the blue pikachu from that first tease they gave us in like 2014 (2013? that was a loooong time ago idk)

they said this was MOSTLY 2021 so i am absolutely getting my hopes up for splatoon 2

the two sinnoh games could likely be there

would be super cool if oddity came to switch. and almost as ironic as megalovania getting into smash

we havent seen the botw sequel for a couple years so we’re kind of due for an update on that

it’s ace attorney’s 20th anniversary this year so maybe theyre doing something. theyre already porting those games though so idk. maybe he’s getting in smash

whats with that watermelon mario render

i held off on watching a playthrough for ndrv3 on the off chance it came to switch and i could play a dangan ronpa game for real for once but it’s now been 4 years and we just passed the 10th anniversary of the series (albeit during a pandemic when i wouldnt expect them to have done anything) so it would be cool to see the series come to switch. i think if it still doesnt after this though i’ll just watch the playthrough, 4 years is long enough. amazed ive avoided spoilers this long, i still know next to nothing about the game

im about done with acnh but im still waiting on those splatoon items. and i ran out of storage in february so i need more of that too

nintendo did stuff for zelda’s 30th anniversary so i doubt theyre forgetting the 35th. maybe wwhd/tphd ports, idk

been a couple years since fire emblem, intelligent systems is probably up to something besides planning yet another paper mario spinoff

miyamoto forgot pikmin 4 in the oven 6 years ago and it got burnt to a crisp and thats why it hasnt come out yet because he had to start over

and splatoon

the inklings scared daft punk into quitting so now that theres no competition in the robot musician scene they should have a daft punk style group

i waited and waited and neither of my top two splatoon stages (flounder and d’alfonsino) came back in splatoon 2 so i hope just because splatoon 3 isnt in inkopolis doesnt mean they still wont return

would be sick as hell if there was a real hide and seek mode instead of just sticking to your own rules in private battles. havent played that since 2015 but it was super fun

show us the effects of the chaos world

i wanted mc craig to have a song in octo expansion and they didnt deliver. heres another chance

splatnet 3 baby

cant wait for nogami to do a funny 3 pose

abxy came back for splatoon 2.... am i gonna be that lucky again...?

salmon run doesnt make sense if youre friends with a smallfry but they could either change the story context (you just fight “evil” salmonids?) or replace it with an equally fun co-op mode

amiibo!!! i think i said this before but they should label them by weapons if these cephalopods dont have genders, would make more sense (the gendered ones had different weapons anyway)

returning characters!!!! would like to see everyone have a role of some kind

maybe #GearForAll wasnt successful in getting the emperor/spy/mecha gear, but perhaps theyll at least consider not making that stuff exclusive this time around

squid girl gear should be back. and they should call it a dress instead of a tunic because its a dress. and theres no gender now anyway

as ive said before... TRIPLIES!! you hold one in each hand and another in your mouth. and you can spin around like the tasmanian devil

remove splatfest tee annoyances: you should have a prompt at the end of a splatfest to pay to scrub your tee (to make sure you get the chunks) also it should be on a neutral brand so you dont end up with an overabundance of ink resistance up (or whatever else)

better online and cloud saves would certainly justify having a second splatoon game on the same console, as much as im loving that it exists

hopefully theres a global testfire again

sooner or later the workers will rise up and kill mr grizz

remember in splatoon 1 where if you had squid beatz (via the amiibo) you could “play” it in the lobby and change the music? then you were stuck listening to only bubble bath in splatoon 2? why did they take that option away they should bring it back

looking at those apartment buildings in the trailer i think it would be cool if you had your own room and could decorate it

an octavio redemption arc would be fun to see. in the manga he stole the zapfish because the octarians had an energy crisis, and in the end they worked out a deal to share the electricity

#nintendo direct #e3 #e3 2021 #splatoon 3 #splatoon #ssbu

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aperrywilliams · 5 years ago

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I don’t know you anymore/Part V (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

(Not my gif!)

Masterlist

Part I / Part II / Part III / Part IV / Part V

———————

Summary: Reader and Spencer have a lot to talk about (maybe not just talk...)

Word Count: 4282.

Rating: Mature. Angst. Smut. (Hope in the end?)

Warnings: Penetrative sex, cursing.

A/N: This is Part V (and final) of “I don’t know you anymore”. Thanks to everyone who took time to read it. You mean a lot for me!

——————–

We can go sit on your back porch Relax Talk about anything It don't matter I'll be courageous if you can pretend That you've forgiven me

The shock of recent events kept me awake. It was almost impossible not close my eyes and see me in the interrogation room. To see how Gabriel pointed his gun at me. To listen the body of Hunter dropping to the floor. To see Gabriel killed by a bullet fired by Spencer. To see Spencer after more than a year. Much to process. My life had taken a dramatic turn in hours. And there I was, lying on a hotel bed, with my back to the ceiling. What should I do?, was worth staying in Philadelphia?, had I the energy to start again elsewhere? .Whatever I must to decide, there was something kept bothering me: why did Spencer has to be here? By now he should have realized I didn’t "move" much this year. He did it? The things Spencer told me hours before made me speculate some things about 'us' still live in him. Or at least it was my wish. I felt bad. Hunter didn’t deserve my love for him like something functional to try to forget Reid. It was unfair. And now he was dead. My life was turning into a terrible gore movie. I hated that feeling.

My eyes were heavy, but it was impossible to fall asleep. I was tossing and turning. Would it be better to leave Philadelphia? Maybe what I said to Spencer about trying luck in Chicago might be a good idea. Start over. Again. Although something told me I had never started again. I felt still trapped in the feelings that made me flee DC more than one year ago.

In the talk of a few hours before I felt again how there was some habitual between us. As if there were things we never forgot about each other. It felt strangely good. And although neither knew exactly what had happened in the other's life - or at least I didn't - my heart was telling me the essence I loved most about Spencer was there. But it was not an option. I had already made that decision over a year ago. I couldn't back down. There were reasons to end our relationship and it wasn't a whim. I think he also finally understood.

It had to be strong. As much as I wanted to feel his comforting hug again, it wasn't right. I didn't want him to misinterpret my gratitude. Now, was it gratitude I felt at the time? The heat running through my body told me a different story. I miss him. Not a day went by I didn't miss him and want him with me. When I thought I had stopped loving Spencer Reid it was obvious I don't.

We had already tried and it didn’t work. Why should it be different this time?. Maybe it's necessary to give a final closure to this. It's a torture to think of all the "what ifs" possible. I had to let him go. I have to close every window could give us any hope. This had to be done once and for all.

I got out of bed, put on a jacket, and went downstairs to Spencer's room. What was I going to say to him at this hour of night I couldn't do in the morning? I didn’t know. I just knew I need to free that feeling stuck in my chest. I knocked gently on the door twice. Hoped he was awake. If he didn't open the door then I would go back to my room. I wasn’t going to insist. It didn't take more than a couple of minutes when I felt the door open and see Spencer looking at me with concern. He asked me if I was okay or if something was wrong. I wasn’t able to say a word. I just let my body speak for me. I got close enough to rise on my feet and catch his lips. What was I thinking? Probably in a farewell.

Would he be thinking the same thing? It was likely, since while we were kissing he took me by the waist and pulled me into the room, closing the door. How I missed those lips. I felt in a dream, guilty, but in a dream after all. My hands couldn't stay still, my fingers were lost in his soft hair, at the base of his neck, on his shoulders, on his face. I held on as much as I could to him so he wouldn't let me go. Feeling his breath so close to my face again brought me back to the best memories of our life together. Why is so difficult to let this man go?

When Spencer pulled back to look at me, his hands were still on my waist, a sign he didn't want to let me go either.

"(Y/N)..." he tried to speak but I cut him off immediately.

"Shhhh... don’t. You don't have to say anything. I just came to say goodbye…”. I said trying to find his lips again.

"No, I... I need to tell you..." without wanting to stop kissing me, he struggled to get words out of his mouth.

"I don’t want to know. Please don't say anything… just… let me have you one more time, ok?”. I just needed to be with him. I didn’t want to argue. I didn't want to question anything. I just needed him. Tomorrow I would see what to do. I just wanted to feel him one more time. My hands began to search for his skin under the shirt he wore, pulling to remove it from his body. He just released my waist to raise his arms and take the garment out. I dropped my jacket to the floor. Taking my waist again, he pushed me back until my back collided with one of the walls of the room. His mouth began to search my neck while with his fingers he unbuttoned the top of my pajamas and dropped it to the floor. Moans came from both of us. As my nails ripped at the skin on his arms, Spencer was anxious about leaving marks on my skin with his mouth and teeth, drowning out his moans and dropping loose phrases along with my name. I also couldn't help but empty part of my head into words.

"(Y/N)... I missed you so much..."

"Please Spencer... take me... I need you..."

"All these months... I’ve never... left..."

"Neither do I…"

"I’ll never let you go again... I promise..." I don't know if my head was playing tricks on me, but hearing his words gave me a false sense of 'reconciliation'. I knew it wasn’t possible. I pushed those thoughts away from my head and concentrated on his caresses. It's as it should be. Looking for his lips again, I began to push him gently towards the bed, where he dropped down leaning on his forearms, watching as I removed my pants and straddle him, but not before taking out his own pants, letting them fall to the floor.

There were things I hadn't forgotten about our intimacy, and one of them was what parts of Spencer’s body did I need to stroke and kiss to turn him on. I could see this had not changed in these months. His needy moans were the signal I needed to go along.

Being with his hands free while I straddling him, Spencer started squeezing my breasts. If I had to say what kind of man Spencer Reid was in terms of taste, clearly he is a man of breasts instead bottom. His eyes delighted at the sight, as my hands traced lines across his chest. He took my wrists and pulled me to him to catch me in a deep kiss. As if he wanted to suppress his words in those actions. In whispers some phrases escaped from his mouth.

"Do you want this?... do you want to ride me?... if that's you want, take it. Take everything you want from me. Tonight I want to please you for all the nights we haven't been together…” . I didn't need more. I adjusted my knees between his waist and aligned my entrance with his cock. Without warning I began to sink into him, letting out moans of pleasure as I felt him more and more.

"Fuck Spencer..." was all I could say before completely sinking. He let out a gasp as he felt inside me.

"(Y/N) you take it so good... I missed this so much... you do it so good...". That said, he started moving up his hips to feel more intensely how our bodies were rubbing together. If I had not forgotten how I should to touch him to turned on, he hadn’t forgotten what to do to make me feel this good. My moans were mixed with gasps that didn’t stop our movements. His hands on my hips helped me keep my pace and stability as I arched my back and dropped my head back. The movement became more frantic each time, I could see how Spencer tried to keep his eyes open and fixed on me. I also tried to keep my eyes on him even though was more difficult as I getting closer to my orgasm.

“(Y/N), baby… you feel so good. You make me feel so good. Yes, do it like this, take it, come on... take it all... I love you baby, I love you so much... I’ll never let you go again...". I connected those words to the excitement of the moment, but I couldn't help but remember the first time we had sex after Spencer was released from prison. It was very much like this moment. Both needy, both in love, both missing the other, both making promises about the future. But I didn't want to think about it. Not now. That little distraction was enough to keep me from realizing when I was now flat on my back on the mattress and Spencer began to thrusting me strongly, taking my hands over my head. The feeling was so pleasant I couldn't keep my eyes open. He kept talking to me between moans and gasps.

“(Y/N)… look at me, let me see your eyes. Please…". With effort I opened my eyes and looked directly at him. I could see my own lust reflected in him.

"Fuck Spencer... harder... I'm close...". I was struggling to prolong the sensation as much as possible before my orgasm, but I needed rudeness, I needed to lose control.

"(Y/N) say my name, say it ... tell me how I make you feel..."

"Spence... you make me feel so good... Spencer, you fuck me so good, baby... I love you... I love you so much... always love you...". At the crest of my orgasm those words came out of my mouth. And they were true. I don't know if he really noticed it, but at least they served to encourage him and make him lose control. His frantic movements combined with his fingers over my clit. A couple more thrusts were enough and I had lost myself in the heights.

"Fuck (Y/N)... I'm going to..."

Another couple of thrusts and I could feel how he cum inside me. A deep, hoarse moan came from his throat. Without much trouble, he fell on top of me, sinking his head into my shoulder. Only the sound of our labored breaths could be heard. A few seconds later he leaned on his hands to look at me. His glossy eyes, his lips and cheeks glowing along with that messy hair and beads of sweat running down his forehead were a panorama that only awakened more love in me. Without saying anything he began to kiss me. I just wrapped my arms around his neck and responded with a fervent and deep kiss. When we pulled away I could see a smile on his face. He got out of bed on the way to the bathroom. Returning from my ecstasy my neurons began to work again. It wasn't I regretted what I had done, it was just now I really didn't know what I was going to do. Was this the farewell I expected? No. I didn't expect him to rekindle those feelings in me. So was it true that neither of us managed to beat the other this year?

When he came back from the bathroom he brought a damp cloth and began to gently move it over my thighs and crotch to remove any residue of himself from me. He put it on the nightstand and leaned his back against the back of the bed, looking at me. The time to talk had come.

***

I didn’t expect that. I mean, don’t get me wrong. Seeing her in front of my door in the night ready to 'say goodbye' to me was a lot to process. I let myself go. Of course I wanted to be with her, not for that precise reason, but something inside me told me I could awaken some hope with this action.

I sat down on the backside of the bed and looked at her. It wasn’t the best place or time to discuss this, probably not, but time was running out. I wasn't going to let my silence make her run away from me again. (Y/N) hurried to speak first.

"I think I'd better get back to my room..." (Y/N) said as she sat down on the edge of the bed, her back to me.

"No. We cannot let this go and not talk about it ”

"I already told you Spencer, I just came to say goodbye..." she said avoiding my gaze and getting out of bed. This was going to be more difficult than I thought.

"(Y/N), I need half an hour of your time. Could you do that for me? If after that you think it is best to you leave, that's fine. I will understand...”. Would it be enough time to tell her everything? I hoped so.

"Do you think there are things to talk about?" she said with a bitter smile.

"Of course I do! If I remember correctly the last time we spoke, I didn't say much... and ok, it's my fault. I just want you to hear my part of the story. I propose this: let's get dressed and we can drink a coffee. After this, no one will be able to sleep anyway”. She thought a few seconds, then nodded.

"Ok. A coffee I think would be good idea”

We dressed quietly and I started making coffee from the machine in the room. It wouldn't be the best coffee in the world, but at least it would help. I placed two mugs on the small table settled in the corner of the room and gestured for her to sit down. After taking a sip and taking a deep breath, I started to speak.

"Do you remember how we got our first date?" I asked her.

"Are we going to review our entire history in half an hour?" she said crossing her arms over her chest. She was in defensive attitude. I tried not to let that stop me.

"You remember it?". I insisted.

"Yes. We had seen each other in Dr. Stevens' office a couple of times. When he wasn't there we talked for a while if you were willing to wait for him. Until one day I dared and invited you to a coffee. I think it was the first time I invited someone to come out first…”. (Y/N) said with a warm smile.

"That’s right. And I was so glad you did. It would have taken me more months do it myself, you know? Well, and I also suppose you have realized all those times I was going to visit Dr. Stevens, I really knew he was not there and I only came to see you…”. (Y/N) shook her head and bit her lower lip trying not to laugh.

"I wasn't sure, but I had no doubts about that either..." she said taking a sip of coffee. "It's a nice memory Spencer, but I don't know where you want to go with all this..."

"Do you remember our first kiss?" I said without wanting to answer her last question.

"Are you saying the time I kissed you on the threshold of my apartment door when we went out to dinner?". (Y/N) said describing the moment.

"Yep. Precisely. When my hands were shaking and I was dying to kiss you but I didn't dare. Until you did it and also, inside I thanked the gods I would not have had to wait months until I dared to do it. Well, I could also list several things I didn't dare to do for fear of rushing things or fear of ruining what was happening between us…”

"Yes, you were quite shy... I had forgotten that part..." (Y/N) said.

“But I learned a lot of things with you. I started to feel more confident in myself, especially in a relationship. I don't want to be a thorough on this, but I don't think I've ever told you how much I learned from you. And I regret not tell you about it before… just as I regret not having been more explicit about how important you were in my life the whole time we were together…”

“At that point I think the fault fall on both of us. We just took it for granted…” (Y/N) said with a sigh.

“The last time we spoke… over a year ago, you said things to me I didn't expect to hear, even though I was very aware our relationship was in bad shape. You said it was impossible to repair something that was already broken... and told me you felt you were not what I needed...". I could see how (Y/N) avoided my gaze and concentrated on her coffee mug. I dared to take her hand to make her look at me. "Hey!... I need you to know a few things about that so you understand why as far as I'm concerned, you shouldn't think that."

"Do you really think you can repair something that is broken...?" she said with a bitter smile.

"Not repair, rebuild. But for that we have to go back to our initial pact, remember?” I said, stroking his hand with my thumb.

“To tell everything we feel. No hide anything”. I nodded.

"Yes. And in that, I failed. I know. I broke that promise and left you enough away for you thought you were no longer important in my life. Do you remember what I told you the day I was released from prison?”

"I do. That we were going to make up for lost time. That we were never going to part. That no one could ever intervene in our relationship again…”

"That’s right. What I didn't count on was my obsession wanting to remove the things had happened in prison. As if not saying them was enough to make them not exist. But they did exist. Some you saw, some you felt... but I didn't want to tell you anything. I kept it for myself”

"Why did you do the opposite of what we had agreed? Did you really think you could protect me that way? Protect me from what?..."

"From me. It’s true I was no longer the same person, (Y/N). When you told me you felt you didn't know me anymore, it was confirmation of that. But what I never wanted to reveal was I was afraid of the person I had become… and I was afraid of hurting you by showing you this part of me. I was afraid to show it and give you a reason to stop loving me, for not being the same person you felt in love in first place. For some strange reason I thought keeping the routine between us was going to block the growing anger, the little patience, the lack of control I came to feel many times. Which, clearly, was not successful: our constant discussions proved it, do you remember?". I could see how tears rolled down (Y/N)'s cheeks. I also felt my eyes fill with tears, but I needed to stay calm to continue talking.

"I just wanted to know, want to help... but you didn't want to speak to me...". (Y/N) said between sobs.

"I see that. I left you apart. It's my fault. Believe me, I never wanted to go that far. But you should know it has always been you. You were the only person who could have understood and I left you out… you are the one who knows me better than anyone and although blindly, you knew exactly things were not right”. I said taking her other hand with mine.

"And what has changed in these months? What could be different now?..."

“I just want to say one more thing before I answer that question. The thing is… it’s completely false you are not the woman I deserve. It’s completely untrue you are not enough for me. And please forgive me for whatever I did to make you think that. I don't need a woman with an IQ equal to mine, I don't need a woman who with my same job, I don't need a woman who thinks like me, who has my same schedule, I don't need a woman with a stunning external beauty. I need you. You. You are the only woman to me. Even if I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. You’re intelligent, you have made your own way in life, you’re understanding, loving, so brave, you have overcome all the troubles you have faced, you are able to share your love with others, you are able to understand me ... and what a challenge! You have been my rock for three years and I had to lose you to be able to realize it…”. I released her hands, got up from the chair and walked over to where she was sitting. I knelt down in front of her and took her hands again. Tears still ran down her cheeks.

"Please Spencer, stop... don't keep talking..."

"I have not finished. I have 5 minutes to talk…”. That made her smile a little. “About your last question… what has changed? My love for you has not changed one bit, but my desire to compensate for having broken my promise and wanting to be with you beyond anything else is a realization more present in me today than before. What could be different? Whatever we'll want to be. I’m willing to do everything in my power to make you love me again, to you trust me again, to win back you as my friend and lover. Do you want to stay in Philadelphia? Okay. I’ll stay with you. Do you want to go to Chicago ? I’ll go with you…”

"I love you Spencer ... but I could never make you quit your job for me..." she said getting up from the chair and taking my hands so I could get up too.

"Not just for you, my love. For us. If it’s necessary, I’m ready to do it”. She was shaking her head.

"No, doing that would destroy you...". (Y/N) said hugging me and resting her head on my chest.

"I already feel like I'm completely destroyed without you ...". I said as I pressed her against my body. "Please give me a chance to show you how important you’re in my life...". I said without being able to hold back my tears. We were silent holding each other and sobbing.

"Maybe there is something else we can do...". (Y/N) said in a soft voice, barely perceptible. I pulled away to look her in the eye.

"I'll try anything you want...". I said.

"Let's to know each other again...". I looked at her a little oddly. I didn't know if I was comprehending what she meant. She smiled. For the first time an openly smile and I could see a different sparkle in her eyes. She took a pencil and paper from the table and wrote a number. "This is my number. I don't know how many more days I'll be here in Philly. I have to put things in order before going anywhere else. A few days ago I received an email from Dr. Stevens of Georgetown, asking me what I was currently working on. I think he has an open spot on his team. I'll think about it…". My smile could not have been bigger, which (Y/N) noticed and hurried to keep talking. “If I return to DC, I’ll stay with my sister a while. Time will tell Dr. Reid. Sounds good to you?". I happily nodded. She approached to me again, she tip toe rose and gave me a long, deep kiss. When we pulled away she gave me a smile, grabbed her jacket and left the room. Before closing the door she said "I love you Spencer. I mean it. Call me".

That’s what they call hope, a feeling that makes things almost impossible feel achievable. I clung to that hope. I trust in this woman with all my being. And if this is my last chance, I'm not going to waste it. I dialed the number on my phone and save it. This time, I won't let anything unsaid between us.

——————–

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds #dr. spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut

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jincherie · 5 years ago

Text

florescence | iv

❀ — pairing: taehyung x reader x seokjin ❀ — genre: hybrid au, hybrid tae, hybrid jin, poly au, fluff, smut (future), angst ❀ — words: 5.1k+ ❀ — rating: sfw ❀ — warnings: a pinch of angst... oops ❀ — notes: fiddling and editing, i felt that i needed to expand this bit more so i added some context and cut the end scene off to make the feature of the next chapter

Okay, so maybe you’re lonely, and maybe there is something missing in your life, a void that you maybe want to fill with a companion that may or may not be of human origin… You’re perfectly content not doing anything about it though, until your best friend calls you in desperate need for your help and you suddenly end up coming home with not one, but two hybrids that may or may not have been on the way to the chopping block had you not taken them in. They’re more than a little rough around the edges, and the situation is less than ideal but… maybe the best things don’t always come in perfect, shiny packages. Maybe they just need a little time to bloom.

— posted; 16.11.2019 // masterlist || prev. | next.

"You're not going to be returning to a happy audience, y/n."

Startled from your position where you are crouched tying your shoe, you look up and take in the sight of Changkyun's feline form leaning against the wall beside you, white-tipped tail flicking idly behind him. Somewhat amused yet chagrined since you know exactly what he's talking about, you let out a sigh and finish tying your shoes before rising to a stand, dusting your hands against your jeans.

"I know," you respond, somewhat dryly. The cat hybrid is a little too smug for your liking, having been privy to the problem that's been making itself known in your life this week. "I can't help it though. If they want to keep eating pancakes and meat dishes then they gotta put up with me leaving the house for work. I need food tokens because that's capitalism, babey."

The hybrid snorts, rolling the ring over his lip with his tongue before deciding to deign you with a response. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone else refer to cash money as food tokens, but you know what it has a nice ring to it, so I'll let you have that one."

"Thanks for the charity," you laugh, slinging your bag over your shoulder. The kids that had been under your care for the evening are fast asleep in their beds, so you don't have to worry about them catching you leaving and throwing a tantrum. Their mother, a lovely woman who works as a secretary to the CEO of one of your local well-established businesses, has already returned home to thank you and pay you. Staff meetings that run late into the night are particularly gruelling for her, and you made her promise she was going to get some good rest before she retired. Changkyun, the household hybrid who has too strong of a personality to ever be anything but the only hybrid in the house, has followed you out to the front door, and is making the most of his remaining time to bother you to the best of his ability.

"Have they told you why, yet?" Changkyun seems unwilling to let the previous topic go, persistent in his efforts to pull the latest information from you. Begrudgingly, you play along and give the nosy cat what he wants. He's awfully invested in your current affairs for some reason, probably because he'd been nagging you to get hybrids of your own for so long and now you'd finally ended up with some, to his glee.

"No," you huff. Your eyes slide away from his form, falling upon one of the lovely paintings displayed on the walls as you pout. "They haven't said a word, but they're still acting the same."

You don't like the look that enters the hybrid's sly eyes. "I can help, you know." He takes a step closer, leaning forward with a shit-eating grin. "I know what's bothering them. Just let me--"

"Rude cat, if you know then why don't you tell me!" you protest, poking his chest in a manner more playful than anything. "And stop trying to rub on me, I know what you're doing. They were really grumpy with me after you did it the first time so don't think I don't see you trying to stir the pot, cheeky cat."

Changkyun grins, eyes closing in his mirth as he steps back with his hands up in surrender and lets out a laugh. "Ok, fine! Take all the fun out of it! Live without ever knowing the truth, see if I care..."

You roll your eyes, knowing he's still playing with you. "Right, well, I'm going to go before you somehow manage to indirectly upset my hybrids even more. I'm watching you, Changkyunnie."

At the appearance of the nickname you've given him, the hybrid can't help but let out a purr as he laughs and bids you farewell. "Bye! See you next week! I wonder if you will have sorted out your little problem by then."

It's very tempting to flip him the bird, very tempting, but somehow you manage to restrain yourself and you think it really is a testament to your willpower. You bid him farewell and make a quick escape, mind a little hung on his words as you make your way from the house and down the path to where you parked your car.

Will you have resolved this "little problem", as he so blasély put it, by this time next week? You aren't sure, but to be honest you are a little doubtful. Why? Well...

You’re unsure if anyone ever took the time to try and explain the concept of working and jobs to your two hybrids.

You say this because you kind of assumed that they’d know what you mean when, barely three weeks after you brought them home, you told them you were going off to work and wouldn't be back until later—except it quickly became clear that was not the case and they did not, in fact, know what you meant. You’ve been growing closer and closer each day that passed and despite what their guidebooks said, they aren't continuing to act as withdrawn as they had been and aren't refusing to let you close. You’re overjoyed, of course, at the development, but you had no idea it would mean they would get so clingy.

Somewhat disgruntled at the turn of your thoughts as you climb into your car, you recall how it had all gone down that first day you'd returned to work. “What?” Seokjin’s voice climbed in pitch as he looked to you in alarm, attention torn from the pancake batter he’d been stirring. You showed him how to make it without help the other day and ever since he’s been trying to perfect it on his own. He blinked like he couldn’t believe what you just said, and you swore you could hear a hint of fear riding in his tone. “You’re what? You’re leaving? Why are you leaving?”

“I have to go to work,” you explained clearly, a little amused and endeared at the fact he’d evidently thought you’d be at home with them all the time. “I need to make money to pay the bills so we can keep living here and making pancakes, you know.”

When you brought the hybrids home, you’d immediately taken some time off work—you know how critical the first few weeks are in establishing comfort and an environment and dynamic where they feel safe. You suppose you never paused and thought about whether they realised you’d have a job that you would have to return to at some point. Perhaps this was your fault.

“Wh—do you have to? Do you have to go?” He was still holding the wooden spoon he was stirring with, looking at you with wide eyes. “Please don’t go.”

“I have to,” you affirmed, sending him an apologetic look. You almost forgot Taehyung was in the kitchen with you until you felt a tugging on your shirt and looked to the stool where he was perched and—oh, no, he was giving you the puppy eyes, the most potent pair of them you’d ever seen in your life.

“Hey, don’t give me those eyes, mister puppy.” You reached and booped his nose; his cheeks flushed and his ears lowered. “I won’t be gone long, you’ll survive.”

To your complete and utter surprise, Taehyung pulled away and angled his body in the opposite direction, effectively turning his back to you and rolling his eyes. You were left gaping at the uncharacteristic show of attitude. He… just rolled his eyes? At you? What…

Seokjin decided to pursue a different avenue in the hopes of persuading you to shirk your responsibility and stay. He droped the spoon into the bowl and rounded the counter in a few large steps, moving quick and taking your hands into his hold. He whimpered sadly, already making a very strong argument. “y/n, please don’t go.”

You were weak-willed when it comes to these two hybrids, as you quickly found out, but it is because of how much you care for them that you were able to resist. It wasn’t without another half hour of whining and clinging that you were able to leave the house, though. You work as a nanny for a select few affluent families, so its not like you’re working fulltime office hours, and most importantly you’re always going to come back. You have no idea why they’re so opposed to the idea of you leaving at all when they’ve shown they understand your reasoning…

The previous days you’ve come home after work, you’ve received a fair spread of responses. At first, they clung to you. When you came home after that first day of work (mind you, you were gone barely five hours that time) from the second you walked through the door, your two hybrids all but tackled you and stayed firmly attached to your side for the entire night after that. If they could, you were sure they’d shackle you to them.

The night after that, the reception was a little different. They were upset that you’d left again, and proceeded to let you know—for about the half hour that they could last without cuddling on the couch, that is. All you had to do was pull pudding out of the oven and your treason was forgotten, hybrids by your side and pressed against you once more. This, understandably, lulled you into a false sense of security of sorts. Perhaps they’d get over it soon?

Nope. The days after that, they switched it up in favour of something they seemed to think would be more effective. You’re no stranger to the cold shoulder, and usually quite sensitive to it, but to be honest… their attempt humoured you more than anything. The visible conflict in their expressions every time they attempted to brush you off is probably what was funniest. Every time they ignored you, or didn’t respond, it went against their nature and their usual urges. They’re soft, cuddly boys, you’ve found. And they might be grumpy, but even as they’re trying to make a statement, they can’t help but long for the way things usually are. Their cold shoulder usually lasts about an hour, and then they break. Nowhere near long enough to really have an effect.

But by today, when you arrive home from the job with Changkyun, you think it’s beginning to wear on you a little bit. When you ease the front door open, banging your toe on the frame and letting out a curse in the process, no one comes to greet you. The house isn’t empty (you can hear them scuffling about in their room) and the lights are on, but still, it feels… a little lonely. You huff, slightly grumpy that they’re still throwing a tantrum over this. As much as you try not to let it show, it is frustrating. You have to work! It’s not something you can simply stop doing because you want to, or your hybrids want you to.

You halt in the hallway to the kitchen, making yourself pause and take a breath. You’re frustrated and a little grumpy, yes, but you don’t want them to pick it up. They’re sensitive to these things, you’ve found. You watched a video on Facebook about kittens that made you cry the other day and barely a second after the first tear touched your cheek had Seokjin almost broke down your door, worried to high hell and back because he smelt it and thought something was wrong. You’ve been very careful since then, not wanting them to feel upset or uncomfortable as a result of your own emotions.

Once you’re sure you’ve collected yourself enough, you continue into the kitchen, placing your bag on the table as you walk past. Humming and knowing that the quickest way to get them out of their mood is food, you open the fridge to stare inside, hoping an idea for dinner will come to you like a vision from above. Your fridge may be many things, but it’s not prophetic, and currently it’s not stocked with much food either. Huffing, you close the door with a little more force than necessary and turn away, wincing at the following bang. Hopefully the eggs are ok.

You’re not much in the mood to make a big meal tonight, so you make the executive decision to pull the tortellini you’ve been craving from the freezer and set it on the bench. Begrudgingly, after a moment of consideration, you pull out a few vegetables to add to the sauce mix. You suppose you better put some effort in, since you’ve already chosen the lazy meal.

True to character, as soon as the tortellini begins to cook in the pot and the smell begins to permeate the air, you hear the sound of light footsteps creeping down the stairs, attempting to go unnoticed. You wonder if they underestimate the extent of your human hearing, or if they’re just really bad at being sneaky.

They don’t go into the kitchen straight away, but they go to the living room, as close as they can get to the source of the smell without giving in and talking to you. You roll your eyes, partly amused and partly miffed. You suppose this is how it’s gonna be.

Considering how easy of a dish it is, it doesn’t take you long to cook and serve it. Instead of calling them to the kitchen to grab it, you slip out of the room and make you way to where they’ve started watching Netflix, next to each other on the couch.

Whether they don’t hear you coming or are still hell bent on ignoring you, you’re able to sneak right up behind them, the back of their heads peeking just over the back of the couch. Your hands slip forward, fingers weaving through the silky locks atop their head and ruffling them. Both hybrids jerk, Seokjin letting out a surprised yelp as he turns partly in his seat to shoot you an alarmed look.

The tension in their forms melts away in the next second as the tips of your fingers and your nails lightly drag across their scalps, brushing just barely the bottom of their ears. You think you hear a sharp intake of breath, surprisingly from Taehyung’s direction, but can’t verify it before your hands leave the top of their heads and your smiling at them as they turn to face you.

“Dinner is ready, bubs,” you say, somewhat humoured by the visible conflict on their faces—they manage to settle on remaining disgruntled, though, much to your disappointment.

They rise from the couch, pouting, and follow you to the dining table. They seat themselves without another word, and as soon as they see you reaching for your fork and taking your first bite, they follow suit. You think they plan to stay silent throughout the entirety of dinner, but you manage to wear them down enough that Seokjin lets slip a few sentences of how their day went and what they got up to. Aside from that, dinner passes quickly and somewhat tensely. It’s an odd tension, though, as though it’s not yet fully formed and kind of incomplete. Like there’s a lack of conviction and commitment to it.

As soon as they’re done eating, like the sweet boys they are they take their dishes to the kitchen, rinse them off and load them into the dishwasher along with the other containers and utensils used for dinner. You rinse your own bowl as well once done and pop it in with theirs; without even a glance in your direction, Taehyung adjusts it so the fan won’t hit it and then slides the full drawers in, placing a dishwashing tablet in and turning it on. Efficient; he certainly wastes no time about it.

Already even before this point, you knew that they were going to try and bolt the second they could—and it seems your predictions come true, as the second they hear the dishwasher turn on and begin its cycle, the two of them are inching towards the edge of the kitchen, barely an ounce of sneakiness to their name. Fighting a sigh, you dry your hands before taking a few steps and using them to definitively grasp their own. As you lace your fingers together, the two hybrids freeze, Taehyung shooting you a wide-eyed look and Seokjin faltering in his stride.

"Will you two stay, if you're not too tired?" You ask, a shred of vulnerability more than planned making itself known in your voice. "They added some movies I really like to Netflix, and I really wanted to show you. I thought we could watch them together...?"

You can tell the second you look at Taehyung's face, his features softened and eyes shining, that he's given up giving you the cold shoulder for the night. Seokjin's slumped shoulders, tension having fled at your words, also tell you that he's on the same page as his brother. You brush your thumb over his hand and feel his grip tighten as he turns to you, smiling slightly.

"Of course we're not tired yet, what did you want to watch?"

You spend the rest of the night curled with them on the couch, tension long gone and only warm affection drawing the three of you together, and can't help but think maybe this was the last of their protests. They're sweet, these boys, and you know part of the reason they're upset is that you're leaving when they want you to be here, spending time with them.

But alas, it is not to be, and your optimism is quickly shot down.

Their reaction to your continued absence during the work days persists. Each morning you wake and get ready for work, your two hybrids are there almost every step of the way pleading with you to stay, offering any bribe they can think of onto the table to aid their bid—cuddles on the couch, snacks, movies, naps. Admittedly, each day it gets a little harder to steel your resolve and actually go to work, but you try not to let them see that they’re gradually wearing you down. They’re too endearing for their own good—it probably isn’t healthy for them to have you as wrapped around their fingers as they currently do.

At this point, you get the sense that it’s not just one, but a number of reasons at play that make them so averse to you leaving for work. It occurs to you that they’re probably still a bit insecure, given their background and the fact they haven’t actually been here that long. But at the same time, it feels like it’s also more than that.

You work as a nanny and babysit children, but since you work for families who are usually perched on the upper echelon, it’s not uncommon for you to be spending a lot of time in proximity to other hybrids as well. Ever since they were first created, hybrids have been a symbol of wealth and affluence. Despite much more of the middle and working class having them as companions these days, in a sense that earlier attitude still stands. A few of the families you work for have hybrids, two of them having more than one. Thankfully, none of them mistreat their hybrids, in actuality you were surprised upon first working for them to find that they’re treated almost as well as the children are. It makes you happy to see such a shift from the common attitude, and the hybrids themselves are all so lovely that even when the kids have crummy days and want nothing more than to throw tantrums, you have no complaints.

Despite just over a week and a half of avoidance about why they’re so grumpy, it seems today is the day you’re finally going to gain an insight into the cause of their behaviour and push your hybrids over a line you didn’t even know was there until they cross it.

It’s a Friday where you’ve just arrived home after working with one of those families with multiple hybrids, that you seem to push your own over a line of sorts. You’re a little tired as you come through the door, eagerly slipping your boots off and hanging your bag and jacket up. Neither of the hybrids come running to greet you, as they might have done before you ‘betrayed’ them and started leaving the house for work. You’re less amused than you might have been in days prior, and more pouty—ever since they started cuddling you you’ve grown addicted, and you miss the warmth and affection when you’re away.

Well, you suppose today you’ll either have to go find them or let them gradually come to you.

Humming to yourself, you bring the take-away boxes of stir fry the family had been so kind to share with you into the living room, plopping them on the coffee table with some cutlery. They tinkle and clank together obnoxiously, as most metal items do, and you open a box and sit back, waiting for the sound and the smell of meat to rouse the hybrids from wherever they’re hiding.

You don’t have to wait long—Taehyung is the first to appear, his eyes lighting up on instinct the second he sees you, before he catches himself and smooths his expression, averting his eyes to the food on the table and taking one of the boxes and some cutlery. Even when he’s pouting, he can’t stand being too far away from you; he perches on the cushion next to you, but as far away as the armrest will allow him so that he can still let you know he’s not happy you left this morning. He’s so cute, sitting there and pouting as he shoves stirfry in his mouth, you can’t even find it in yourself to be annoyed at his childlike behaviour. The two of you eat in silence until Seokjin comes, the male’s soft footfalls announcing his presence before the sound of his inquisitive sniffing does.

You look up as he enters the room, curious to see if the fox hybrid will continue giving you a weak attempt at the cold shoulder as he has been for the first hour or so after you get home every night. He does, but when you give him a pleasant greeting with a bright smile you can see his resolve waver. He grabs his food and cutlery and sets up on the couch adjacent to this one, pointedly avoiding your eyes lest his resolve completely shatter. There is a small amount of tension in the air but you decide to let them finish their meals before you address it. Enough is enough but you’re all also hungry.

The second both of them are done and sitting back in content, you stack the boxes and push them further into the middle of the table so they don’t tip. Your movement brings you closer to Seokjin, and he sniffs subtly before his nose wrinkles and his brows draw down harshly. He doesn’t say anything, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip instead, but you catch it nonetheless.

Curious at the reaction and knowing (hoping) you don’t smell bad, you turn to Taehyung and lean closer experimentally to see if he will give a similar response. He does, still not looking at you—surprise filters through you when you see his features twist into a scowl. Wow, this past week you’re really seeing a new side to the shy baby, huh?

“Alright, what is it?” you ask, throwing the question into the tense air before either of them can bolt and fester with whatever mood they’re in. “Why are the two of you so upset and why do you pull that face when I get close? Do I stink?”

To his credit, Seokjin appears a little sheepish at being called out, cheeks flushing with brief embarrassment—Taehyung on the other hand remains steadfast and petulant, crossing his arms. His ears are lowered and still, he refuses to look at you.

“…No,” Seokjin answers you, eyes flicking away. He’s pouting, tone bordering on a grumble. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

You blink, surprised at the sass and distance he’s suddenly putting between you. It didn’t take you long after they arrived to realise that Seokjin preferred open communication and honesty, but had a little trouble working up the nerve to say things sometimes and hence stayed quiet instead. But this time he’s fibbing to you, brushing it under the rug and attempting to dismiss it when you can see something is up. You can’t help but wonder what brought that about.

“Oh?” you say, turning your gaze to Taehyung—the action makes you catch him while glimpsing at you and he rips his gaze away, cheeks flushing as he scowls more. “It’s ‘nothing’ that has the two of you so grumpy?”

Seokjin’s brows drew together, lips tugging down into a frown. Your words seem to set him off a bit, as he’s suddenly on the defensive. “No. Maybe. What do you care? You’re never here anymore and you—you probably don’t even care about us anymore. You’re too busy caring about—about other h-people. Whatever.”

Your brows shoot up as he stands suddenly, Taehyung following suit—you can tell that Seokjin wants to stomp off and keep being dramatic by ignoring you, but he can’t seem to make himself skip saying goodnight to you. So he says it, but makes sure to imbue it with as much sass and attitude as possible. “Goodnight.”

Completely taken aback, you watch as they file out of the living room and no doubt go to make their way upstairs to their room. You’re not angry, but you’re definitely a bit confused and feel a little guilty, among other feelings that quickly begin to make themselves known. The two of them know that you look after children for your job, and when you told them it didn’t seem to make them bitter or envious—it seems more than a little out of character for them to be upset that you leave them to babysit kids now.

You’re actually a little hurt, if only because you’re also confused and have no idea why they’re acting this way. You have no idea, and they won’t tell you—you could probe further, press harder, but will that make them tell you, or will it push them further away? You don’t want to risk upsetting them more, and if that’s a possibility you don’t think you could make yourself follow through with it.

Sitting there on the couch, completely alone and very aware of the absence of their warmth, your chest aches a little. You’re new to this, you don’t know all the things a new hybrid owner probably should, and it shows. Your first instinct is to focus on them—what is their problem?—but now that you sit here and ruminate a little, you realise that this is more than a little bit your fault. If you were a more knowledgeable owner, then surely you’d have at least an inkling as to what is wrong. But you don’t, you’re so painfully in the dark it’s shameful enough to make a fresh wave of guilt course through you.

You need to find out more, research a little, but you’re not sure where to start. You have no clue what is bothering them in the first place, and even less idea as to how to solve it. Deep in your thoughts, you rise and begin tidying up after dinner in a bit of a haze. You almost drop the cutlery on the way to the kitchen, but manage to catch it just at the last second. After cleaning what you needed to, you made your way to your bedroom and curled into the bed, a frown tugging your lips of its own accord. It takes you a while to settle down and fall asleep as your mind races and leaves you in its wake. You really hope this whole thing doesn't go on for too long, because it's only been a single night that they've ignored you like this and it sucks.

The next day after you work-- a different house to yesterday, one with two male hybrids of the labrador variety-- the reaction is much the same, if not worse. They don't even come out when you call them for dinner, having arrived home early enough to actually make it today. At some point, they come out and take their plates of food, but you miss it, which you're quite upset at yourself for. The first and only time you see them that evening, is by chance as you emerge from your room after a shower and catch a glimpse of them scuttling back to their own. Their dishes are on the kitchen bench when you go to fetch some water, and it makes your heart twinge a little. They're really not going to talk to you at all? You don't think you're doing anything that bad! You have no choice but to leave for work, you need income so you can support yourself and now them. It's not something you can just drop and never deal with, and you have a feeling they know that and yet... something is upsetting them. You just want them to tell you, so that you can try and fix it however you can.

That night, you contemplate knocking on their door and seeking them out, and even get all the way to the closed door of their room before you halt, hand in the air. Ultimately, you can't make yourself do it. Perhaps, if they want to be alone, then leaving them alone is best. Heart hanging heavy in your chest, you turn on your heel and silently make your way to your room, but not before you utter a soft "Goodnight, boys." knowing that no matter how quietly you say it, they'd still hear it.

Your mood is looking like it's about to quickly spiral, so in an effort to prevent it you find yourself in the middle of a self-consolation session. Tomorrow you don't have any work, a day off you've been looking forward to, so surely that will cheer them up and make them emerge from their shells? You miss them, and as you curl into your bed once more without the lingering warmth of their usual cuddles that you seem to have grown accustomed to, you feel lonelier than ever.

You really hope that tomorrow, things will turn around a little.

a/n: i hope u enjoy it n please let me know what u think! the next part is already partially done so it shouldn’t be too long before the next part is out! hurray for the academic year ending here !!

masterlist || prev. | next.

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imaginethathaikyuu · 5 years ago

Text

kenma angst part 2 (for lack of a better title)

ok. this is the scenario that ive by far gotten the most requests for. at least 40 different requests for this by now. and after finally writing a good scenario after 2 failed attempts, here it is. ur welcome.

i feel like i have to mention that this was very inspired by the song 12 feet deep by the front bottoms in a very specific way (that ull probably notice if u know/listen to the song) so yeah give it a listen, its a good one

and of course this is a part two, so please read part one first! gender neutral reader

Kenma was sinking.

It was nearing 4 am. He was laying in his bed, the place he’d quickly determined to be the only good place left in the entire world.

He was drowning.

He couldn’t stop staring at his phone. At your text messages. At your number.

As if it was a spur of the moment decision and not something he’d been mulling over for hours, he pressed call. Put the phone on speaker. Wiped the last shred of tears from his face.

“Hello?”

But his eyes were filling up again.

“Kenma?”

He was sinking and sinking deeper and deeper and you were the one holding him under.

“What do you want?”

“To hear your voice,” he choked out, gasping for air that refused to fill his lungs.

That’s probably the most honest he’d been with you in weeks. But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t a good excuse anymore, waking you up at 4 am just to hear your voice.

But it’d been a week since he last heard you. He thought you’d be able to pull him out of the sinkhole he’d left himself in.

He was probably better off not calling at all, though.

“Okay. I’m hanging up now.”

And then you did.

Kenma had rarely felt this angry at himself. And he’d never felt so pitiful.

He knew he shouldn’t bother you. That if he wanted to fix things, he had to stop being so damn childish, irresponsible, lazy. He couldn’t just call you like he used to and expect you to laugh it off. He couldn’t pretend that everything was normal.

He also knew that it wasn’t likely he’d get you back. Even if he explained himself and begged you to understand, words could only do so much.

Everything seemed to change for Kenma in the last week, more than he was comfortable with. And he wanted to change it back to the way things used to be. He wanted to make you happy again, to see you in his clothes again, to sleep in your bed again. Most of all, he just wanted to have you again.

While his life has been nothing short of unpredictable, there was one thing Kenma could still rely on.

“Get up, Kenma!”

And that’s Kuroo showing up at his dorm and beating down his door at 5:3o every morning.

Coincidentally, that was the one thing he wanted to change.

Kuroo had no regard for Kenma’s neighbors, something the boy learned when this routine began a few weeks ago. Morning practice now started at 6 instead of 8 - he had Kuroo to blame for that, as he basically made the new schedule.

“I’m up,” Kenma said to him after answering the door, making sure not to mention that he hadn’t even been to sleep.

Kuroo pushed him aside and invited himself in. “Practice in 30.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

He stumbled to his dresser and put on his tracksuit, struggling to stand on his own two feet. He was completely exhausted thanks to getting no sleep - after calling you, there was no way he was able to rest.

“C’mon, let’s go, we’re jogging to the gym.”

Kuroo grabbed Kenma by the shoulder and pulled him out of his dorm without waiting for his response. Kenma didn’t really jog, he just walked kind of quickly while Kuroo did all the running.

“You found my hoodie yet?”

Kenma took a deep breath. “Yeah.”

“Dude! Can I have it back already? I swear I’m never letting you steal my clothes again.”

His fast walking slowed down. Kuroo started jogging backwards so he could face Kenma, feeling concerned about the silence. This didn’t feel like Kenma’s usual quietness.

“I don’t have it,” he replied simply, hoping to leave it at that.

“Well it’s in your dorm, right? Just bring it to -”

“No,” Kenma interrupted, “It’s not in my dorm. I don’t have it.”

Kuroo scoffed. “Where is it then? You just want to keep it, don’t you?”

Of course Kuroo wouldn’t let him get away without actually explaining himself.

“Y/N has it.”

“Oh.” Kuroo cleared his throat in that awkward way a dad would, then he turned back around and Kenma thought that was it.

Of course it wasn’t. “Sounds like a good excuse to go talk to - ”

“No.”

“We’re going to Y/N’s dorm after practice -”

“No.”

“I’m getting my hoodie back, and you’re getting Y/N back.”

To that, Kenma didn’t say no.

You were visibly taken aback when you opened your door to see your ex boyfriend and his best friend staring back at you.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Kuroo said, his voice booming through the hall.

“Hi?”

Kuroo elbowed Kenma in his side, offering a, “go on,” of encouragement.

“Uh…”

He couldn’t look up at you. Just hearing your voice in person was enough to make his heart skip a beat. If he looked at you, he’d probably break down crying and then beg you to take him back.

He didn’t know why it was so easy for Kuroo to convince him to do this.

“Remember that hoodie…?”

You scoffed before disappearing into your dorm for just a moment, reappearing to shove the sweatshirt into Kenma’s chest.

“Actually, that’s mine,” Kuroo said, taking it from him. “Sorry for the inconvenience. But my mom got me this hoodie. And then Kenma stole it.”

“I just forgot it was yours,” Kenma said quietly, trying his best to defend himself.

But it did help you realize why Kenma asked to have it back. You felt kind of silly now knowing that it wasn’t even his.

Kuroo, ignoring Kema, gave him a strong pat on the back and said, “Is there anything else you want to say to Y/N?”

Kenma hated this. He hated when Kuroo treated him like a kid. He hated knowing that you were standing right in front of him but he couldn’t hold your hand or play with your hair or even look up at you. He hated that he allowed himself to lose his best friend.

“I’m sorry,” he said, even though he felt himself slipping, sinking, drowning, just like he had last night. “I’m really, really sorry, for… for making you think that I don’t want you and for keeping things from you and for being late to lunch and for calling you last night -”

He took a deep breath, one that did nothing to calm him down but forced him to stop rambling to you, which he’s already embarrassed about.

But he’s here, so he should probably be honest while he can. And he should probably look at you while he still has the chance.

“I really miss you,” he said. His tears were clouding his vision but he still saw you. You were wearing an old shirt he bought for you in high school and a necklace he’d never seen before and your hair was a mess in his favorite way. You had obviously just woken up - what he wouldn’t give to have woken up next to you this morning could be counted on one hand.

Kuroo’s loud voice seemed to assault his ears when he said, “I’ll leave you guys to it. You know where to find me, alright?”

Kenma knew what that meant. What he meant to say is, ‘I’ll be there for you when you get your heart broken.’

Kuroo left while cradling his hoodie, and Kenma decided he probably should have just told him to wait outside for him. He didn’t have very high hopes for the rest of this conversation.

“I’m sorry,” he said, wiping his eyes and looking back down to the ground. “I shouldn’t have done -”

“I miss you too.”

You said it so quietly that he almost missed it, but his heart did backflips when you said it.

“But I don’t miss how you’ve been acting.”

And then it sank again.

“I know,” he replied. “It’s just… volleyball and class have both been a lot, and…”

He didn’t really have an excuse. What he said was true, volleyball has been a lot. The new schedule was getting the best of him, the extra practice wasn’t treating him well. And he was really struggling to stay afloat in his academics.

He didn’t know if he could be better. He knew that right now, he could make promises he’d probably break and sweet talk his way into getting temporary forgiveness for his own sake. And if he did that, he’d probably hurt you again.

But if he didn’t at least try to be better for you, he would regret it forever. There was no excuse to just let you go. He was going to try for you, for himself, for the years you two have been together. He couldn’t let that time go to waste.

He wasn’t going to make excuses or empty promises.

“I want to try,” he started, standing up straight and doing his best to face you. “I want to try to be better for you, I…”

“Kenma…”

“I know,” he said, feeling an extra spark of courage though he had no clue where it was coming from. “I know I don’t deserve it and that this is probably a waste of time but - but I love you and I have to try, please let me try.”

“...Okay, Kenma.”

“Okay?”

For the first time in a week he could finally breathe. He could take a breath without feeling weighed down. The pressure on his chest finally lifted.

“I want to try, too,” you said, albeit sadly. “I miss you. So much.”

And then you couldn’t help stepping out of the doorway and falling against Kenma’s chest, and he happily pulled you closer to him. It was only then that he realized he was still standing out in the hall, but you were in his arms again and he didn’t care if anyone saw.

“I’ll get better at managing my time…” he mumbled to you. “I will.”

Your response was a nod, and Kenma managed a small smile.

But his exhaustion was setting in. As much as he wanted to stand there forever, he was about to fall over.

“Y/N?” he whispered. “Can we…”

You were sure he was going to finish that sentence with something disappointing, something that would ruin the moment. Maybe even something uncharacteristically lewd.

“...take a nap?”

But you were relieved to see Kenma was actually acting like himself. With a soft laugh you said, “Yeah, we can.” And when he got into your room and fell into your bed, he pulled you as close as you could be before melting into your sheets.

Your bed was definitely the best place in the world, and he wasn’t going to lose it - or you - again. Sleeping next to you felt too good to go without.

#Kenma Kozume #kenma kozume x reader #kenma x reader #haikyuu one shot #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #angst #fluff #scenario

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randomoranges · 3 years ago

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these always sound better in my head when i day dream. anyways - again more of an intro ish to this sequence ive had in mind for a while. also something something when youre comfs around someone so something something teasing and something something it being easy etc.

is this also an excuse to lowkey write about the playoffs, étienne being extra and the magical mystical beard? probably.

Bleu comme le St-Laurent

July 3rd 2021

They’d agreed, before his visit, that it would be easier and simpler if he simply took a cab over from the airport, all things considered. Mostly, he’d had to convince Étienne and in the end, his boyfriend had abdicated and agreed to wait for him at home. It meant that he was only a little bit nervous as the cab got closer and closer to Étienne’s place and that the butterflies in his stomach multiplied at every turn.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Étienne, but it always felt a little stilted those first few moments after not seeing each other for a bit. Or – at least, it had been before. For as much as he wanted to cherish the time he had with Étienne, especially knowing that it was limited, it always made him take a step back when he saw Étienne again, as if seeing him in person was always slightly to the left of how his brain remembered him.

And then, even though they hadn’t seen each other in a little over two months, it somehow still felt like a lifetime. So much had changed and happened since Étienne had returned home that it could have been decades since he’d last held him in his arms and it would have been the same. Still, he supposed that a little over two months was nothing, in the grand scheme of things, and this time around, they had been in contact practically every day, via either text messages or video chats.

However, those did nothing compared to being able to hold Étienne in his arms.

“On est arrivé,” The driver said and effectively got Edward out of his reverie. He braced himself for whatever version of Étienne would greet him, paid the driver, got out of the cab, and retrieved his bags, before taking a deep breath. It was blissfully, unexpectedly cool out today and it was a pleasant change from the heat wave he’d suffered the past week.

He took out his phone to send a message to his boyfriend to let him know he was there, when he finally noticed, and heard, Étienne descend the few stairs from his front door to run up to him.

“Eddy!” He practically shouted as he approached him. Edward was taken by surprise – by Étienne’s energy, by his unexpected appearance, as though he’d been waiting on the front steps and of course – by his majestic beard.

It was one thing seeing it in photos and videos – another one seeing it in person.

Étienne stopped short a few paces away from him, wide smile on his face, excitement bubbling on the surface and did his utmost best not to rocket launch himself in Edward’s arms. If anything, Edward was surprised he’d managed to show this much restraint and then put down his carry-on to take a step forward and open up his arms, waiting for the impact.

It was all the invitation Étienne needed and soon, Edward found himself with an armful of excited Étienne giving him the tightest of hugs and – how he’d missed this.

“I can’t believe you’re here!” Étienne said, moments and maybe hours later, as he pulled back a few inches to look him in the face.

Edward smiled kindly at him and let himself be held for a moment longer. He’d said it once and he’d say it again, but spring and summer truly suited Étienne. He looked – invigorated and healthy and happy and it was such a pleasant change from last time that it settled some anxious part of him that had been worried for him.

Then of course, there was Étienne’s beard. It was well past his chin now and curled in thick coarse hair that felt blissful on his skin.

“And look at you!” He said, finally, finally daring to bring a hand up to his boyfriend’s face and finally, finally getting a chance to touch it.

Étienne crinkled his nose and Edward laughed, “I had forgotten all the things I don’t like about the beard, but I am also quite excited to still have one.” He beamed at that and Edward couldn’t say he hadn’t noticed. It would have been hard not to.

Just in Étienne’s front window, he saw one Habs flag next to another flag with a giant Stanley Cup and all the years the Habs had won written in the white space on both sides. Then, of course, there was the other flag hanging from the front, swaying with the breeze. There wasn’t even a game today and Étienne was still wearing one of his multiple Habs themed t-shirts. Edward couldn’t say he blamed him – it had been twenty-eight years and there was nothing quite like a final playoff rush.

“Y’know, for someone who can actually grow a beard, I’m surprised you never had a phase.”

Étienne let him go to pick up his suitcase and started heading towards his front door, “My phases were and always will be during the playoffs. Too much maintenance, too much trouble, and too much blegh.” He grimaced at that and opened up the door, while Edward laughed at his antics. “Anyways, I’ll go put your stuff in the bedroom and I’ll let you get reacquainted with Mercury – I swear she’s missed you.”

Just as he opened the door, Mercury came barrelling down to see who it could possibly be and when she saw Edward, she went right for him, barking excitedly. Truth be told, he had also missed her incredibly – and not just because he loved dogs in general. Plus, there was also the fact that he had spent most of her first year of life with her.

As Mercury licked his face and tried her best to tackle him to the ground in her excitement, Edward noticed the new decorations to Étienne’s place. He had forgotten just how much paraphernalia Étienne had of his beloved Habs and it seemed as though every last item had been brought out to be displayed. There were trinkets and figurines on every last piece of furniture, framed photos had been put up on the walls and every other household item that came themed in something Habs was there. Then again, Étienne had been a fan of them since day one and it was easy to collect memorabilia when one lived as long as they did and had a team with such history and clout.

“Sorry about that; I forgot how excited she gets,” Étienne said as he returned to the entrance, “Mercury, ça suffit. Laisse-le tranquile.” Surprisingly, Mercury stepped back with a whine and then trotted back to her master’s side. Étienne scratched her behind the ears and she then returned to see Edward, but was calmer.

“Hey you,” Étienne added as he walked over to Edward and gently pulled him in for a softer hug of his own. Now that they were behind closed doors, ensconced safely in Étienne’s home, Edward had no qualms in greeting him properly with a first kiss of many.

“Nice décor,” He teased gently when they pulled away for a moment.

“Excuse-toi; I am simply celebrating this magical run no one literally saw coming for as long as I can.”

Edward grinned, endeared by the way Étienne’s crinkled his nose and the way he frowned at him, as if vexed and insulted. He’d missed this – missed this side of Étienne who went all in for his team – or for something he enjoyed. Missed his over-the top attitude towards the things he loved. Missed being held by him.

“I know, Sweetheart.”

Étienne’s face softened at the pet name and he leaned in for another kiss, which Edward was more than happy to indulge in.

“Missed you,” Étienne murmured from the crook of Edward’s neck.

The hairs from his beard both tickled and thrilled him and not for the first time, he realised just how very long it had been.

“Missed you more.” He added, making his boyfriend chuckle softly.

“Maybe, but not all of us have a second boyfriend we can go to when the first one goes back home,” Étienne pressed another kiss to Edward’s neck and the scrape of his beard against his skin sent shivers down his spine.

“And when has that ever even stopped you before from going after anyone you wanted?”

“There’s a plague running rampant, Edward, I wasn’t about to hook up during a Global Pandemic,” He chided and looked up to his face – all serious like. Edward couldn’t tell if he was teasing him or not, but he was somewhat still surprised by what Étienne had just told him.

“You mean you haven’t – not even once hooked up with anyone since you left Edmonton?”

“Non; I wasn’t going to take any chances,” He admitted and – Edward was really impressed.

“Well, in that case then, it’s a good thing I’m here – I can help remedy that,” He grinned, tugging on Étienne’s shirt a little.

“That sounds like a really good plan. I also have it on good authority that you seem to have a thing for this new look of mine so - lucky us we have a full weekend of catching up before the game on Monday.”

Normally, Edward would have had the decency to look flushed, but that was the old him. “You got me on that, so why don’t you lead the way and we can take care of that as well?”

Étienne laughed and took his hand, before doing just that.

FIN

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #fic #projocanondoko #title comes from a Song #might use more Lyrics of Said Song for Future Parts of whatever This Sequence iS #idk dont look at me

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cafedanslanuit · 4 years ago

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pairing: saeyoung x mc

summary: a love story between a man with a mysterious job and a nurse during the second world war. “And all the things that you never ever told me and all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me. Never coming home, never coming home.”

warnings: mentions of war and everything that entails: blood, wounds and death.

notes: this idea came to me after listening to “the ghost of you” by my chemical romance, hence the title. hope you like this~

In a way, it was good feeling numb.

Being a frontline nurse for the second great war was definitely a time when you would want to feel numb. I could no longer feel the pain in my overworked body, smell the stench of death or cry when we lost yet another soldier. Make no mistake, I still did my best. In fact, I think not being able to feel anything anymore is what granted me the serenity to treat soldiers the best way that I can. My mind goes over my medical knowledge, not really listening when they start to cry about their families or loved ones who are waiting for them to return from the war zone.

Waiting. Waiting is such a terrible thing to do.

The anguish of knowing it’s been hours and he still doesn’t show up, the stressful ticking of the clock and the way your whole brain is screaming something bad has happened, but you have no clue on what it is or what you should do to avoid it. Or if you can even avoid it by the time you’ve recognized the danger.

I heard one of the other nurses calling my name just as I was closing the eyes of the soldier who had just passed away in front of me. She was kneeling over another body, short of hands to stop the bleeding coming from different parts of the soldier’s body. I could only see his closed eyes since most of his face was covered by the fabric the nurse was using to put pressure on his wounds.

“You sure he’s alive?” I asked. She nodded frantically, tending to a large wound on his left thigh. Judging from the extent of the wounds, he wouldn’t be for a long time. Still, I knew she was young and had just joined us a week ago and had the idea of fighting until the end.

I sighed and kneeled beside her, taking a bandage to try and stop the bleeding from his arm. As I did so, I uncovered the soldier’s face.

It was like an explosion.

In an instant, my body became aware of the shootings happening in the distance. The screaming of men against men buzzed in my ears and I realized how badly my head was hurting. I could even listen to the other nurses’ cries.

Seeing him--- no, recognizing him was like coming up the water and breathing for the first time in ages. But it couldn’t be him. There was no way it could be him, I thought before pulling off the soldier’s helmet. The minute I saw the untamed red hair, my whole body started shaking, feeling like my mind was playing cruel tricks to me.

It was him.

But it couldn’t be… not here, not now.

I called for an extra nurse as I tended to his arm, my eyes fixed on the face I thought I would never see again.

ii.

Beer, like me, is mostly an acquired taste. That was why, for weeks, I would only look from afar to the handsome red-haired man that always sat at the same table at the bar and scribbled notes on his small notebook for hours. He wouldn’t drink anything else but soda, making me wonder why he even bothered to come to a bar if he wouldn’t have any alcohol. My plan was to wear my best dresses and have him notice the girl who had been giving him heart-eyes for the past few daysr. Maybe he would invite me to his table, we could start talking and getting to know each other. Sadly, my plan failed, as he never seemed to look my way. I ended up being the one to sit at his table and introduce myself.

I wish I had approached him earlier. Just imagining I could have had another two weeks with him is enough to make me smile.

Conversation flowed naturally, even if the first thing he did was hide his notebook from me. Well, all writers are reserved, I guessed. He laughed like a kid and his smile was so contagious, even hours later, tucked into bed, I would smile whenever his memory popped in my mind.

The first encounter turned into a daily occurrence for another week. Friday came again and I asked him to go for a small date with me the next day. He pouted and explained he still had to go to work.

“Your work at the radio station is seven days a week?” I asked, raising my eyebrows in suspicion. Saeyoung scratched the back of his head with a sheepish smile.

“Money’s tight, so I take every shift I can,” he explained.

“So you use your only free time to work on your novels?”

“Novels?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Yes, in your notebook?” I pressured, tilting my head to where his notebook was now resting on the table under his elbow. Saeyoung looked down and let out a small laugh.

“Right, the novel. It has a long way before it becomes one,” he shrugged, putting the notebook back in the inside pocket of his jacket. I followed his hand movements and then took a long swig of my beer.

“It sure does when it’s not a novel at all,” I commented, licking my upper teeth. I noticed how his face tensed up, so I waved my hand in front of him, trying to dissipate his fears. “No, no, don’t worry. I won’t ask. But going back to my previous inquiry, I was really looking forward to seeing you outside of this bar. Not that I don’t like you’ve been paying for my drinks this past week, but…” I chuckled. “Maybe dinner, when you’re not working… at the radio station.”

I was hoping he would understand that by mentioning his alleged workplace, he would understand I was not going to pressure him for any more answers. He probably worked a low-end job and didn't want to discuss that with me. It probably had gone south with his previous lovers, I thought. The subject didn’t really matter to me. I had a good job at the hospital as a nurse, so I wasn’t really looking for someone who could support me. At that moment, all I wanted was to spend more time looking into his big, golden eyes that had lured me from the beginning.

The first time Saeyoung kissed me was outside his house. He had taken my offer to get dinner together and had called my home number that very same Sunday to ask me to join him at a nice restaurant. As I put on one of my best dresses, I couldn’t stop thinking about the restaurant he had picked. There was no way someone with a low-end job could afford dinner for two there.

But I had promised not to dig into it. He didn’t seem to be the kind of person that would be involved in dangerous situations, and unless that notebook was actually a chequebook of drug deals he had done, I thought I wouldn’t need to worry. I knew it was naive to be so trusting of a person I had just met, but I guess you’d have to be in the situation I was in for it to make sense.

It wasn’t love, of course it wasn’t love. Not at first, at least. But the sound of his laugh, the way his eyes sparkled and the way he leaned forward whenever I talked just felt like home. Everything made sense when I spent time with him. I had read about soulmates before, and still to this day. I don’t know if that was the case. I just knew my place was by his side and if that meant I wasn’t supposed to ask what he did during the day, then so be it. I could live with that.

The first time Saeyoung kissed me was outside his house. That was also the moment I found the place where I was always supposed to be.

iii.

I made a home out of his house.

Messy was an understatement. I wasn’t able to comprehend how Saeyoung had been living by himself all this time. There was no food in the fridge other than bottles of soda. I had already figured out he had money, so it didn’t make sense why he didn’t hire a maid. He worked on scribbling notes on different notebooks, his eyes never leaving the paper while I tried to organize his house. I wouldn’t have done it for any other man. But there was something about him that compelled me to help him in any way I could.

I wish I was lying when I say I even found a dead mouse Saeyoung insisted was his friend. He picked up the body with a small pout and put it in a shoebox, so he could leave it later at the park. ‘He needs a proper burial. I’ve pulled so many all-nighters and it was nice to hear his squeaking every once in a while to keep me company’. What started as a disgusting discovery ended up making me realize how lonely he really was. I asked him about his family, but he just said he had been on his own for a lot of years and it was better that way. The forced smile that accompanied his words told me otherwise.

“It’s an unnerving big bed for a sole person,” he had commented one day, as he nuzzled his face on the crook of my neck. I listened to him as my fingers played with his red locks, twirling them and the letting go. We had spent the morning lying close together, neither of us wanting to get up.

“Then why did you buy it?” I asked. I felt his nose let out air as he chuckled.

“I didn’t. I didn’t pick anything in this house,” he confessed, pressing a kiss on my neck.

“What? Then who did?”

“I’ve said too much already,” he whispered, pushing himself up on his forearms and hovering on top of my body. He looked down at me and leaned into my hand when I cupped his face.

“You’re really not gonna tell me what you do for a living, huh?” I asked with an amused smile. He shook his head with a mischievous grin before peppering my face with small kisses, making me laugh until my stomach hurt.

Our days were full of laughter. The only thing I had to do was never ask about what he did for a living. And as the days went by, I even forgot it was even a mystery. I longed for the times we were together, the private slow dances we would have at his living room and the way the moonlight made his pale face look heavenly when he slept by my side.

I loved him.

And by the way he woke me up every morning with a kiss, I knew he loved me as well.

iv.

Saeyoung didn’t show up that night.

We were supposed to meet at the bar at nine, but it had been an hour and no one had seen him. I asked for more beer and sighed as the minutes went by. It wouldn’t be the first time he arrived late, I told myself, as the beer seemed to get stuck in my throat. Anxiously, I tapped my fingers on the table, my leg shaking under the table. He definitely hadn't been this late before.

I couldn’t shake the bad feeling something had happened. But even if he had been mugged on the street or had a bad day, I knew he would still come to find me. The taste of alcohol quickly became repulsive as I kept on waiting.

Before I knew it, I was grabbing my purse and walking to his house, taking the fastest route. He probably had fallen asleep after work or plainly forgot about our date. Even if that would ignite a small quarrel between us, there was nothing I wanted more at that moment but to be able to fight with him.

Nevertheless, the moment the door opened on its own when I knocked, I knew something was wrong.

I was welcomed by broken plates scattered over the floor and the coffee table turned upside down. All the drawers were opened and some of them were even lying on the ground. My brain screamed for me to turn around and leave, and I think that was the last time it led me away from danger.

I can’t really remember anything until my scream when I found a Saeyoung’s body covered with blood on the bed, presumably unconscious. I ran to him, and tore his shirt open, trying to find the source of the bleeding. My breath caught up in my throat when I found not one, but several open wounds, continuous flow of blood coming from them. I frantically tried to stop them, using a shirt on the floor to apply pleasure to give him more time until we got to the hospital.

Saeyoung whispered my name, his eyes slowly opening up as I tried to assess his injuries.

“Don’t worry, okay?” I said, trying to muster a small smile. “Once we get to the hospital I can help you”.

“No,” Saeyoung coughed, grabbing my wrists and trying to stop me.

“What do you mean no?” I asked, finding yet another source of bleeding.

“My cover is blown. Doesn’t matter if I die now."

"It matters to me! Let me take you, please, maybe I can--"

"You were the love of my life," Saeyoung interrupted me, a weak smile playing on his lips. My hands stopped my full attention on his words. "You made me happier than I ever thought I could be. I mean this. But… it's part of the job I took. I've accepted this is it," he said. Before he could continue, he started coughing, his whole body shaking as he winced in pain. The shirt I had used to stop his bleeding was already drenched in blood.

"No. No, I can't. I have to do something, please," I begged as tears started rolling down my cheeks.

Saeyoung shook his head. His hands found mine and squeezed them gently.

"Stay with me?" he asked, a hint of doubt in his voice. I bit my bottom lip, failing at trying to wake up from the horrid nightmare I was in. Defeated, I nodded and sat next to him.

Carefully, I held him close as I laid on his bed. His head was resting between my neck and chest and my arms were around his shoulders, holding him tightly against my trembling form.

“What the fuck do you do for a living?” I sniffled. Saeyoung chuckled, nuzzling his face against my neck.

“We have a machine that can decrypt enemies' messages. I am part of a team that uses that machine,” he explained. Immediately after, he squinted and let out a long sigh. “You can never tell anyone this. I shouldn’t have…”

“I won’t say a thing,” I assured him, pressing a kiss on the top of his head.

“Wait until the war is over, okay? Stay… stay alive. With the work we've done, it shouldn't last much longer. Just don't ever say anything about this."

"I won't. I won't," I whispered.

I don't know how long I held him in my arms. My hands went from stroking his hair to rubbing soothing circles on his back, trying to somehow make him feel comfortable as he got closer and closer to his end. My tears had stopped without me realizing it, the feeling of emptiness replacing them. The long goodbye of the love of my life was slowly taking away the last bits of hope of happiness I had left.

“I’m scared,” he suddenly muttered, his voice a little broken.

“Don’t be. It’ll be like falling asleep. You’ll be okay,” I assured him, holding his body against mine. He let out a shaky breath, his fists closing against my blouse.

Softly, I started humming the song he always chose first whenever we danced together. I always thought it was his favourite but I was stupid enough to never ask.

Damn the whole country and every other country involved. Damn the presidents, the world leaders using peace as an excuse to use people as replaceable chess pawns. Damn anyone who made him feel it was okay to die for a bigger cause. Damn the people who were taking him away from me, along with my only chance of happiness and would never face the consequences for it.

"You'll be okay," I repeated as I stroke his hair. "You'll be okay and we'll move to the countryside. We'll get a small house, just for us. You can get a job as a teacher in the church's day school and I'll leave my job as a nurse to take care of our own family. And when you come home, I'll greet you with your favourite soda and a big smile, okay?". I felt him nod against my chest and I continued my humming.

For the longest time, I focused on the sound of his breathing, shallow and weak, until I couldn’t hear it anymore. I cried as I held his body tighter, feeling as if I were to let him go, then he would be really gone. I screamed, not caring if anyone would hear me. I think I secretly hoped someone did, hopefully whoever did that heard me and finished me off once and for all.

When I finally managed to calm down enough, I gently turned his body, still resting on top of me, and laid him on the bed. There was a big bloodstain on my blouse that was already sticking to my skin, but I couldn't bring myself to care about it.

I got the chance to look at his face. His eyes were closed, but there was a hint of a smile and a peaceful expression I had never seen before in people dying from similar causes at the hospital.

He embraced death with the peace he had never lived in.

It was him.

The sole reason why I had left my job at the hospital and enlisted to help out soldiers in the war zone. His death had pushed me to ask to be on the front lines. The feeling of not caring if I lived or died another day was empowering rather than terrifying. If I died, at least I could get to see him again.

We carried him to the nurse's station and a doctor took over the case. No one dared to mention my sudden uneasiness and constant check up on the soldier we had brought back. Maybe they all thought it was an act from the beginning. For me, it felt like an awakening.

Almost at the end of dawn, I noticed him moving his arm, shuffling in his gurney as he tried to take the bandage off. I quickly stood up from the chair I had spent the entire night on and ran to him. His eyes were closed and his face was contorted in a painful expression. I softly moved his hands away from the bandage, securing it after I did so. I explained where he was and what had happened to his arm, trying my best to ease his confusion. I took the chance to fix the bandage around his head, and for the first time, he opened his eyes.

And that was when he looked at me.

With his bright, teal eyes.

"Am I going to lose the arm? You look disappointed," he grunted. I straightened my back and shook my head.

"You will recover fully. I will get the doctor now," I explained, turning my back at him and leaving.

Outside the tent, I felt as if a bucket of cold water drained on top of me, numbing once again any trace of emotion I had dared to revisit in the past twelve hours.

I needed to finally wrap my head around it.

I'd never get to greet him home.

He was never coming back.

#mystic messenger #saeoyoung choi #mysme #mysme saeyoung #mysme saeyoung x mc #mm saeyoung #mm saeyoung x mc #luciel choi #saeyoung x mc #mysme imagines #mysme scenarios

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