#since it's from Chuuya's pov

[unicornpopcorn14]

Skk angst scenarios that live in my head rent free tho I have no time/courage to write them as a whole fic (Part 2):

Tw: Ptsd, implied/mentioned torture, panic attack symptoms, iatrophobia (fear of doctors)

Decided to put Chuuya through it this time . Enjoy :>

(1/2)

Chuuya wakes up from corruption the first time (after all the events of SB) and finds himself in a hospital bed.

His eyes are hazy as he tries to scan the room, blurred by anesthesia. It's all white, frantic shadows casting along. His own breath is loud, clouding the mask he's wearing. The urge to go back to sleep is strong, but he clings to consciousness, tries to make sense of things-

He chokes when he spots a figure in a white coat leaning over the bed.

It's a man- dark haired and soft-voiced. And because he can't see past the length of his arm, he's faceless.

The heart monitor's beeps are frantic and grate on his senses, and Chuuya can't even twitch. The oxygen mask has turned translucent, the clouds stiff and condencing faster than they should. He can't breathe- he can't-

"Chuuya-kun. You're in Mori's infirmary, my infirmary. There is nothing to fear."

The faceless figure says, and Chuuya wants to believe it, so he tries to squint his eyes, make out any features, but it's impossible with the heart desperate to beat out of his chest, the labcoat and latex gloves towering over him.

"Chuuya-kun, can you hear me? It's okay. You are safe."

He knows he should be. It's his boss, the man he'd pledged his loyalty for. He knows there is no reason for him to think otherwise. There is no threat of him getting dissected, torn up, burnt, or tied down like some monster but still-- still...

He's terrified, he's so fucking terrified and he can't help it.

~

←Part 1 - Part 2.2→

[kentopedia]

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ BY ANY OTHER NAME — dazai osamu

summary . . . dazai comes home after a week away, and you stay up late to surprise him with a gift.

contents . . . sfw, f!reader, pm boss dazai, dazai's pov, fluff, pet names, husband dazai <3, my unofficial valentine’s fic — 2.3k

notes . . . IM BACK !!!! he can stop whining about being neglected now (i missed him)

Dazai rubs his eyes as he walks in through the front doors of the Port Mafia headquarters, two of his men trailing behind him. The lights have been dimmed in the lobby, just bright enough to read through a sheet of paper without squinting. There are very few people loitering in the building, but that isn’t unusual for three o’clock in the morning. 

The sight of the lobby, as abysmal and dreary as it is, soothes the ache that’s been lingering in Dazai’s chest. It’s been a while since he’s been home; the past week was dedicated to doing business outside of the city. But it feels like it’s been even longer than that since he’s gotten to kiss you.

Dazai had called you every day when he was away — of course he did. His every thought revolves around you. It’s just that a few phone calls are nothing compared to being close enough to touch you.

“All set then, boss?” Chuuya asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He looks every bit as tired as Dazai feels. None of them had gotten much sleep on the mission away, and the weariness is finally settling down on them.

Dazai nods and waves his hands, dismissing Chuuya. “Get some rest. But don’t think that you can miss out on the meeting tomorrow just because we got back late,” he hums, and though Chuuya’s face twists up in annoyance, a fraction of a grin lingers on Dazai’s own. “I expect you there bright and early.” 

“Asshole,” Chuuya mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes. And, in all honesty, Dazai is too tired to even quip back. 

He watches as Chuuya and the rest of his team disperse. Some of them head to the elevator, choosing to remain under the safety of the Mafia’s ownership. Some leave the building, heading to their private homes, outside of the city.

Dazai doesn’t really care where they choose to reside, as long as they remain loyalty to him and the Mafia. So far, he hasn’t had any issues.

With a quick scan around the room, he notices that there are still eyes on him. Dazai refrains from yawning, even as the sleepy feeling creeps up on him, an almost uncontrollable strain of the muscles. It’s a simple bodily reaction, but it feels too much like an emotion, a weakness that he could reveal. How tiring it is, to be the boss, with every eye scutinizing him, searching for a mistake. 

He’s a lot more relaxed around the members he’d been a child with; they disliked the previous bosses more than they dislike him, but some still miss when Mori was alive. Some, he worries, know they’ll never be able to land a finger on Dazai — you are the much easier target. 

It’s a fear that has never left him alone, not since the day he fell in love with you. 

When his eyes slide to the corner of the room, he notices that Higuchi and Gin are still downstairs, conversing in whispers in front of a corner table. 

His eyebrows wrinkle together. They’re supposed to be with you, still watching out in case anyone decides to make a move before you’re back in his arms. 

Dazai heads toward them, straightening his lips into a scowl. He knows that neither of them particularly like him; their feelings are nothing short of neutral. But they are fiercely loyal to you.

As much as he’d like to snap at someone in his weathered state, he knows neither of them would ever do anything to put you in danger. He also knows that if you’d begged them to be left alone, they would’ve complied. 

“Higuchi,” Dazai says, his voice flattened, serious, as he tries to hide both his exhaustion and his confusion. “Is something wrong?”

The blonde straightens, her expression changing quickly from an easy smile to something anxiously stoic. Her eyes shift from him to Gin, and though she always puts on a very brave face, Dazai knows how much he intimidates her — just as Mori did before him. 

“Sorry, sir,” Higuchi says, and she steps to the side, a space between her and the other woman revealing you asleep on the table. “We thought you’d be back earlier. She wanted to stay down here and surprise you, but it got late, and…” Higuchi trails off, noticing that Dazai is already distracted, his expression softening. 

It is, perhaps, the reason that so many in the Port Mafia choose to win you over. There is very little that Dazai forgives, very little that he lets slide. You, though, have a heart that is much softer, a gentleness that he has never once in his life possessed. The bleeding organ caged within his chest is made of blooming flowers when it comes to you, ones with petals he’d let you pluck off without a single protest. 

“Oh,” Dazai says, the syllable nothing more than a puff of air, parting his cold lips. His eyes soften, body relaxing, every ounce of tension draining from his shoulders. He feels lighter, those sickening thoughts of blood and misery evaporating from his mind like a cartoonish puff of smoke. “I see.”

One of your arms is stretched out across the table, the other tucked under your head, creating a right angle from your wrist to your elbow. There is a dark shade of lipstick on your mouth, that has now smeared to your cheeks. Only one of your eyes is visible, the other pressed into your bicep. 

You’re a mess, but you’re so human; angelically beautiful, but not without the faults of a mortal. He loves you so dearly that his chest squeezes, and though Gin and Higuchi are watching, he knows—and they know—that he’s never been good at hiding his feelings for you. 

“Thank you,” Dazai says, tapping Higuchi on the shoulder. She seems to flinch at the sudden contact, but relaxes, and nods. “For staying with her.”

Higuchi is surprised by the acknowledgement, but she just bows her head, laughs, almost awkwardly, and backs away from him. “I consider her a friend. I don’t need to be thanked.”

“It’s polite to thank people for the work they’ve done for you,” Dazai says, and though he’s, perhaps, being uncharacteristically nice, you’ve softened him like butter, making him sickeningly saccharine. “Is it not?”

Higuchi opens her mouth, then draws her eyebrows together before shutting it. Better to let it go than question Dazai’s newfound benevolence — something he will spare only so often.

But she surprises Dazai with a small grin, her bangs falling into her eyes as she tilts her head just to the side. “Your darling wife has trained you well,” Higuchi says, much braver than she’d been months ago, braver still, than she’d been under Mori’s regime. 

Dazai thinks he’s grown too soft in his years with you. Though, one scan of your darling, sleeping figure erases any regret he could ever feel. 

He’s surprised by Higuchi’s reaction, but he doesn’t let it show, a smile sliding smoothly on his face before a sharp laugh escapes from him. “I’ve just grown to trust you more, Higuchi. I know that you would never betray her.” 

Higuchi smiles; there’s a fresh understanding between them that wasn’t there before. 

Dazai loves you, he loves you dearly, but he is lucky that so many others do too. How many people has he won over in the Mafia, just by being associated with you? How many have sworn their loyalty to him, only because they’re forever loyal to you? 

He supposes it doesn’t matter. You’ve got a pretty ring on your finger to prove that you’re as much his as you are the Port Mafia’s, and he doesn’t intend on ever letting you go.

Gin and Higuchi bid him a good night, and his exhaustion finally starts to overcome him, the stickiness in the back of his throat giving way to pain, his eyelids thin and scratchy. 

Dazai runs his hands over your head softly, stirring you back awake. It must be painful, the position you’re in, and he can only imagine how stiff you are. When he touches your cheek, you make a soft little sound under your breath; Dazai nearly melts.

“Sweetheart,” he hums, dragging his fingertips across your arms. “Let’s go.” 

It takes a few seconds longer before you jolt a bit, eyes fluttering open softly. You’d been in a surprisingly deep sleep, despite the lights on in the room, the rustling sound that follows the people walking around.

“Osamu?” 

Dazai hums an affirmation, and then he kisses you, just the corner of your mouth, the only part of it that he can reach. “You fell asleep,” he says, just above a whisper, kneeling slightly as you make your way to a seated position. “Time to go upstairs.”  

But you’re still half-asleep, and you fall forward, into his arms, throwing them around his neck. You smell something of fresh soap and roses, overwhelmingly sweet. Dazai almost can’t believe he’d been able to leave you for so long.  

“You’re back!” you mutter, and though it’s full of excitement, its also said through a yawn.

Dazai smiles, and breathes you in. “I am.”

“I missed you,” you kiss his shoulder, the juncture between it and his neck. “Sorry I wasn’t awake when you got here.” 

He runs his fingers up your spine and laughs, shaking his head. “It’s the middle of the night, my love. I would’ve preferred you were asleep, anyway.” A pout forms against his neck; he quickly remedies his words, and kisses the top of your head. “But I’m happy to see you. I was certainly surprised.” 

You laugh, breathless. “Not much of a surprise with me passed out on the table.” 

Dazai starts to pull away, but notices the bouquet of bright red roses on the table. It’s large — dozens and dozens of flowers stuck into the paper. They’re your favorites, ones that he always gets you, the stamp on the packaging from the same florist he shops from. His eyebrows wrinkle together. 

“Who are the flowers from?” he says, and though he tries to keep his tone unassuming, he knows how it sounds… Irritated, and perhaps a little too much like a man willing to skin anyone alive. 

You pull your head away from his shoulder and glance behind you, to the bouquet that is laid carefully against the table. “Oh,” you say, your eyes darting back down to your hands, in a way that is almost bashful. “They’re from me, actually. For you.” 

Carefully, you pick them up and hand them to him, smiling sideways and awkwardly.  

Dazai’s eyes widen. He glances at the flowers being presented to him, stares at the golden and diamond ring upon your finger, the vulnerability in your irises as you reach out the bouquet. His doubt is only obvious for a second, but it is enough to have you questioning your surprise. 

You frown, withdraw, and begin to set the bouquet down. “Do you not like them? I know they’re more of something I would like, but I just thought… Well, I love when you buy me flowers, Osamu. And you just have so many things, I thought this would be more—”

Dazai smiles. He is sick with affection, devastatingly in love with you and everything that you have to offer. You could have given him nothing, and he still would have stared at you with stars in his eyes, because you are the universe that he revolves around. You could’ve given him the world, and it wouldn’t have mattered, because he wants you and you alone, and no gift can compare to the way that you love him. 

He kisses you, catches you in the middle of a sentence, steals the air right from your lungs. The taste of you is even sweeter after so much time apart, and he curls his fingers into your scalp, traces your cheeks with his thumb. “I love you,” he says against your mouth, whispers the words, even though everyone around them sees his feelings on a flickering sign about his head. “You’re so sweet to me, even though I probably don’t deserve it.” 

You’re taken aback, and then you shake your head, rolling your eyes. You must get tired of how often he says it, how often he questions why you love a man like him. But it’s true. You are everything that’s right with the world, and Dazai is the opposite. Fate must’ve been on his side to match him with a soulmate that is everything he truly needs. 

“You spoil me too much,” you say in return, yawning again in the middle of the sentence, your hand covering your mouth daintily. “I never get the chance to do the same.” 

Dazai thinks your love spoils him enough, but he won’t bother you with anymore of those thoughts. Your eyes are drooping closed once more, and if he doesn’t get you upstairs soon, you might just sleep on the table for the rest of the morning. 

He takes the bouquet in one hand, and drags you to your feet with the other. You sway a bit, then nestle into his side, curling your arms around his waist tightly. “I’m sleepy, Osamu.” 

“Me too, sweetheart.” The two of you walk to the elevator in silence, and he realizes that he never properly expressed his gratitude. “Thank you for the flowers, angel.” 

You don’t respond, but squeeze him a little tighter. He smiles, and the elevator chimes. 

⤷ thank you sm for reading! reblogs appreciated!

[kitkat13001]

⋆˙⟡ ༉‧ 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚛𝚢

>> chuuya nakahara x reader (ft some past dazai x reader)

>> comfort, slight angst, brief mentions of alcohol, reader has a history w dazai

part 2 / reverse pov of ‘dreaming of you’ (dazai x reader)

chuuya sighs, plucking the near-empty wine glass from your hands. you blink up at him with owlish eyes, as if waking from a daze. 

“that’s the last time i let you drink unsupervised,” he tells you, downing the contents of the glass for himself before setting it down in the sink. 

“i’m serious, chuu,” you frown, but your cheeks are flushed and you can’t fight the hiccup that rises with the end of the sentence. 

“so am i,” chuuya replies, taking your arm in a firm but gentle grip as he lifts you from your seat at the table. “you’re going to feel all that wine in the morning, you know.”

“i don’t care,” you sniff, falling back into the plush couch cushions. chuuya heaves another sigh, perching on the armrest beside you. 

you remain silent for a long time, until chuuya turns to see you sniffle, shiny eyes downcast. 

“i miss him, chuu.”

he doesn’t have to ask to know who you’re talking about.

it’s not uncommon for this kind of thing to happen. wine with dinner turns into a few too many drinks, and the influx of alcohol turns you into an emotional mess. 

it’s usually this subject that comes up. sometimes it’s different things; the stress bubbling up from work, how long it’s been since you’ve seen your family, how afraid you are of the future, things like that. but more often than not, your mind always comes back to the empty space in your heart that osamu dazai left behind.

“i know you do,” chuuya replies, releasing one long exhale. he wishes he could say ‘so do i’, for the simple comfort that you aren’t suffering alone. but chuuya doesn’t lie, especially not to you. 

he slides down the armrest to settle on the couch beside you, pressing his warm side against yours to give some of the comfort you so desperately seek on nights like these. 

“why did he leave?”

chuuya frowns. “it’s no use wondering now, you know. he did what he did and that was the end of it.”

he knows the words are harsh, but it’s worse for you to think so hard on things that happened so long ago. or worse, for you to think that it was your fault dazai left. 

guilt shrivels up his heart when he looks down at you, at the tears swimming in your big, sad eyes. 

“don’t…don’t cry,” chuuya says, crease appearing between his brows. he could never stand to see you crying. 

you sniffle, biting your lip and blinking to dispel the tears. when you speak, your voice is a ghostly whisper. “do you think…do you think he misses us?”

chuuya bites the inside of his cheek so hard he tastes blood. 

“not me. but you…” he pauses, thinking it over. “maybe.”

you inhale shakily and chuuya can feel you tremble against his side. 

his guilt gives in to anger, bubbling up inside his chest until he bursts out. “well, fuck him! we’re better off without him, okay?”

“okay.”

you don’t sound very convinced. and to be honest, neither is chuuya. 

sometimes—and it’s an outrageous, dirty, traitorous thought—chuuya thinks you should have gone with him. he would’ve felt like a desolate, unlovable piece of shit if you had left with dazai, but at least you’d maybe be happy. and chuuya would live a million miserable existences if it meant you would be happy. 

but then you nuzzle your head further into his arm, effectively using him as a pillow, and all those depressing thoughts vanish from chuuya’s head. the warmth of your body against his almost brings a smile to his face.

no, he thinks, feeling a surge of protectiveness over you. he wouldn’t trade this for the world. and he wouldn’t leave you like dazai did, not for anything. 

and you didn’t go with him, anyway. you chose to stay. with chuuya. and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

i think this one’s shorter than the dazai one 🥲 i hope it’s still a decent read 🫶 chuuya makes me feel things. i live for longing and pining and mixed signals. lmk what other stuff you guys might wanna see from me <333

[venelona]

Write My Report author notes

Today is one year since I first posted my Dazatsu fic 'Write My Report' (PM Dazai x PM Atsushi, Atsushi works as Dazai's secretary), so as I edit through all 100k+ words of it, I bring you author notes - include my favourite things about the chapters, thoughts behind some moments and fun (?) facts.

!SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE FANFIC!

(fanfic quotes will be in italics, bold italics are just the words that were italics in the quote- it makes sense- i promise-)

Starting with, of course,

Chapter 1:

I think the whole premise of the fanfic was born by that one time Dazai asks Atsushi to write his report for him after Dazai returns from his mafia kidnapping. Second half of the plot with him helping Atsushi conceal his tiger ability was an excuse for them to hold hands every full moon. I thought it would be a shortcut to my beloved 'one bed' trope. And then it didn't shortcut shit because I slow burned the hell out of it

'Great - now he was alive and uncomfortably wet.'

"I… I- I can't believe I'm going to get fired because of a guy who wanted to drown himself over paperwork." - Sweet sweet irony 😌 You want Dazai to live, Atsushi? Get to paperwork then

I think the whole premise of the fanfic was born by that one time Dazai asks Atsushi to write his report for him after Dazai returns from his mafia kidnapping. Second half of the plot with him helping Atsushi conceal his tiger ability was an excuse for them to hold hands every full moon. I thought it would be a shortcut to my beloved 'one bed' trope. And then it didn't shortcut shit because I slow burned the hell out of it

'Great - now he was alive and uncomfortably wet.'

"I… I- I can't believe I'm going to get fired because of a guy who wanted to drown himself over paperwork." - Sweet sweet irony 😌 You want Dazai to live, Atsushi? Get to paperwork then

I never described Atsushi's waiter uniform but this is kind of how I imagined it looking. No I don't have explanations. Literally just 'the vision.'

I guess I never described Atsushi's secretary clothes, tho it's been referenced that he has a jacket. Its also drawn on the cover lol

'He briefly contemplated drowning himself, but he didn't want his last day to be so full of Chuuya, so he decided on another kind of drink tonight.'

Dazai mercelessly shooting the guy in the bar who saw Atsushi transform was one of the things that were supposed to back up that 'Dark Dazai' tag. And then I kinda forgot to make him do more evil things later on lol He kills more people but more off screen and I kinda fumbled that tag ngl

COOL FANART COOL FANART LOOK AT THE COOL FANART something made me hate that scene but then zinder came in and made me love it 😭💖💖💖

'"Ah, you're awake." A vaguely familiar voice called from the doorway.' They caught Atsushi trying to cross the boarder-

The section where Dazai explains Atsushi about how he's the tiger and offers the deal is the only section where one POV breaks and you can see the other, but I decided to keep it. It was written this way because I didn't plan on keeping their POVs very separate, but then they never broke again lol

"Close your mouth, Atsushi, I already saw plenty of your fangs today."

Atsushi never, for even one second, regretting helping Dazai and saying so to him every time 😭🙏

I love writing canon moments altered by whatever the premise of the fic is - in this case, PM Dazai and Atsushi. Canon parallels - Dazai blackmailing Atsushi into the job.

Never really described but Dazai's office is on the first floor in part of it where not a lot of people pass by. All executives have more proper offices but Dazai really just took a room he didn't need a lot of time to get to. That makes Atsushi's work a bit annoying because most mafia clerks work on other floors together and he alone gotta run back and forth

It probably shows but I know nothing of the ways of office paperworks

"Eh, you're doing fiiine." His employer waved from the couch. "You're doing a way better job than I ever did, Atsushi." "How?.." "You're looking at the papers." Dazai smirked. "That's more than I usually do."

Initially one big point of conflict was supposed to be that Dazai holds a very high position in the mafia, so the papers he handles is full of very valuable information. And the fact that he let Atsushi into all of that information gives Atsushi some degree of power in the mafia, but also makes him a target for others... and then this never really came up lol

I don't think this was ever outright stated but Dazai's apartment is on a very high floor - not last one, but still high up. Like, twenty or something. The whole building inhabited by mafia workers, but he's really the only big fish in it

"I can't just make something up! Besides, from the amount of complaining notes-" Atsushi pointed at the hefty pile of papers Dazai was sitting right next to. "People do read your reports." "Oh, you actually read these?" Dazai picked up a few papers from that stack. "I usually just throw them away." "It's not even all of them?!" "Oh, it's probably just from the last three days."

Dazai saying 'Chuuya probably wrote half of the complaints and that's why I am not reading them' is just an excuse. He's just too lazy to read them

Something about Chuuya being described as 'The hat man' is sending me

[Dazai and Chuuya] '"When was the last time I made a wrong decision, hm?" "I don't know, yesterday? In the morning? Five minutes ago?"'

'"Atsushi, you should visit more places." Dazai shook his head. "Do you even go anywhere on your days off?" "I don't have days off." Atsushi blinked at him. Dazai blinked back. "Really?" "You never told me I have any."' - Atsushi never even asking if he has off days for like two weeks 😭 He'd work without them too, that poor man. Dazai gave him Thursday off because that was the only day Dazai himself actually occupied his office before he hired Atsushi. Dazai was fine without an office (he'd find a place to laze around), but people were complaining that he's hard to find when someone wanted to talk to him, and so he told everyone he can be found on Thursdays. After he hired Atsushi he started spending like 50% more of his time in the office because when he wanted to laze around he was like 'might as well do it in the office, I can occupy the couch, I am not alone and people will shout at me less and even praise me for being at work)

'Atsushi shook his head again. He needed to distract himself. "So… that was Akutagawa, huh?" That was probably the worst topic he could've picked for a distraction, but anxiety hasn't let him think of any other at the moment.'

Never elaborated on but in this story other executives have a lot of people that are under their command specifically. Dazai still orders people around and gives them work and stuff, but the only person he hired himself before Atsushi was Akutagawa. So that's why Atsushi is kind of treated like a big deal by other mafia members. Also half the reason why Akutagawa was angry at his existence

Dazai telling Atsushi 'I think you and Akutagawa would work great together' was a nod to New Double Black. He was still envisioning it in his mind even though Atsushi was working as his secretary and didn't use his ability at all, but later on when he started caring for Atsushi he kind of waved that idea off because he didn't want Atsushi using his ability at all

'"Atsushi, I didn't give you a day off today so you could spend it calling me at eight in the morning."'

If you're wandering why I always juggle how I call Dazai (the brunet/the mafioso/the bandaged man) and others is because in school during language lessons one lesson that stuck to me was that you can't use the same word in two sentences in a row, or it'll sound bad. So half my writing comes from me trying to juggle the same words back and forth. h e l p

Never described but I like to imagine that Dazai got panorama windows in his living room. I never stated this because I don't think he would - something like that would up the chances of his enemies finding where he lives and Dazai wouldn't bother risking that. But... that's what my cinematic imagination wants

'"If you planned on holding hands all night, I regret to inform you that I have no habits of flirting with men."' - canon parallel + THAT WAS THE PREMISE OF THE FIC AND I BARELY DID IT 😭😭😭

'"Or you wanted to watch me sleep the whole night? I didn't think you were such a pervert, Atsushi."' - a set up for a joke in chapter 6. Yes. I thought of that stupid joke this far back.

'And, he supposed, watching Atsushi struggle with the paperwork made it a teensy bit more enjoyable to do. By which he meant it was still a nightmare and he'd rather throw himself off this very building than work on it, but still. A little bit more enjoyable.'

I got SO many comments on SO many chapters about 'when Atsushi will tell Dazai about his tragic past'. Either they missed the 'Probably had to do with that orphanage he talked about earlier, but Dazai didn't care for sob stories about the past.' line, or wanted something more- Dazai KNEW, he connected the dots, he just didn't care back then

Dazai was supposed not to care for Atsushi in these earlier stages but I kind of fumbled it and made him too caring a bit too quickly but. Whatever can you do.

[elizais]

hi elizai!!!!!!!!!

okokok what about like chuuya and dazai r both dating 2 girls who are best friends?? can u do it from like two povs so like one set is if reader is dazais gf and the other is being chuuyas gf?? tysm tysm!! if u need help for a bsf name my go to is emi its short and japanese x

"girls just want to have fun!"

as above, and ty nonnie for the bsf name i do struggle w picking names!! mby read both sides because they will reference previous points!! and are fairly connected. warnings: mentions of alcohol but not explicit dividers by cafekitsune!!!!

chuuya:

-despite him not exactly being bestfriends with dazai, he will do anything for his girl. so he will put up when he has to bump into dazai when picking you up from wherever you two got yourselves in trouble.

-probably gets along with your bsf too, since you are so close he can find common interests with your friend. and he will sort dazai out too, especially if his gf told him about whatever shit dazai pulled the other day.

-doesn't understand how him and dazai end up in this predicament. and if you both are civilians too,, what are the odds?

-i'm kind of seeing you both becoming friends after chuuya and dazai get into an argument in the middle of yokohama and try to drag them away from each other. you both probably exchange numbers so you can schedule around it happening since it was so hellish.

-then you become friends and dazai and chuuya are dragging their respective gfs away from each other so they can hang out with them.

"doll?" he called out from the entrance of the bar, his girlfriend was chatting away in a table he had not spotted yet. dazai followed, not noticing chuuya, also looking for his girlfriend.

"mackerel.. what are you doing here?" chuuya growls, looking around for her. "someone's not a happy bunny!" dazai chimes sarcastically. dazai carries on, "i'm looking for 'bella. you?"

"i'm looking for doll." he simply states, dazai gasps in realization. "have they.. become friends?"

chuuya looks at dazai, rolling his eyes. he chooses not to respond, happy his girlfriend and her friend were so close. although that will mean more run ins with dazai.

"there they are! you must have not seen them, the people in here are average height. don't beat yourself up over it, chuuya!" dazai remarks, rushing over to the pair of girls so chuuya doesn't yell.

dazai:

-he is not as happy as chuuya. chuuya isn't happy about it either but dazai whines about having to see "the slug" constantly. maybe slap him round the back of his head when he complains?

-when you and your friend go out to the bar, he tries to get there slightly after chuuya because he knows chuuya will take the tab.

-when your friend comes to your place, before you promptly kick dazai out for a girls evening, he asks her things such as "i know chuuya's pay is good, but how much does mori pay you to put up with him?"

-when he is finally kicked out for girls night, he will never admit it but he and chuuya just stay at the other's place depending on which girlfriend is hosting. they think you don't know but you both definitely do.

-if you and your friend both work for different organisations, there is sooo much gossip shared.

-i also just think that dazai will eventually not care too much that you guys are friends, yeah he would much rather it be kunikida or something to bother kunikida more but it is what it is.

[asofspades]

I've seen a lot of people trying to get into the BSD light Novels and quite frankly you can read them in order but I do have a recommendation about the order I think makes more sense chronologically regarding the story.

So:

1. LN 3. The Untold Origins of the Armed Detective Agency.

2. LN 1. Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam.

These two take place prior to the beginning of the main timeline and are actually a great way of understanding Ranpo and the partnership between Dazai and Kunikida (also recommend LN 1 to anime only watchers because they mixed the first chapters of the manga with Dazai's entrance exam which takes place 2 years prior to the manga and they royally screwed up on Kunikida's characterisation by doing that)

3. LN 7. Dazai, Chuuya, Age Fifteen

(the manga was good but I feel like you might understand Dazai and Chūya's dynamic and the difference of their relationship to both Mori and the Mafia once you read this)

4. LN 8. Stormbringer

(you might actually understand Chūya as a character after you read this one, dives a bit deeper into his relationship with Dazai, explains who Verlaine actually is and talks about stuff that's mentioned afterwards in the manga, like singularities)

5. LN 9. The Day I Picked up Dazai side A

(this happens at some point between LN 7 and LN 2, and helps you understand Dazai and Oda's relationship prior to reading LN 2, how Oda ended up in the Mafia and also a bit more dive into Dazai's character)

6. LN 2. Osamu Dazai and The Dark Era

(better than shown in the anime, allows you to see how Oda sees Dazai since it's written from his pov, a good dive into Dazai's character while in the mafia and why he actually left )

Once you finish The Guild arc

7. LN 4. 55 Minutes

8. LN 5. Dead Apple

(so, the first one is a bit crazy but actually dives a lot into Atsushi's character, explains weird phenomena in BSD regarding singularities and how Dazai isn't affected by certain abilities even without touch, how Yosano can actually use her ability on Dazai and I find it quite interesting, HG Wells is an interesting character as well)

(Dead Apple is entertaining and dives once again into characters and their abilities but also explains weird singularities again, also the bond between Dazai and Chūya, it also gets a bit weird towards the end in regards to things happening that might be hard to understand but the rest is easier to understand than in the movie adaptation)

9. LN 9. The Day I Picked up Dazai side B

(it's set in the alternate universe of LN 6. Beast and a great point to understand Dazai's actions and motivations in said light novel)

10. LN 6. Beast

(it should come with a warning that it's going to ruin your mental health for a while, an alternate universe of BSD, brings in the Book so you might one to read this during/after the cannibalism arc because it kind of explains a bit what the book does or how it kind of works, definitely needs a bit more explaining but it is good info before starting with the vampirism arc and all that stuff, the book is important and there's talk about singularities again. It's also cool to see how the same characters adapt to a different lifestyle, Akutagawa in the ADA, Atsushi in the PM, kyouka in the PM but with Atsushi, Dazai if he stayed in the PM, the ending will fully rip your heart out if the rest of the novel hasn't done it before that and I really recommend the manga adaptation of it because the art style is *chef's kiss* and heart wrenching)

Done with my rant now, you can still read them in their publishing order this is just my recommendation. Also, LN 9 is not out on paper yet and I think we only have fan translations online but it is definitely worth it, @popopretty has a really good translation of it.

And LN 7 is getting a manga adaptation which is also looking really good so you can check it out.

LN 5 has a manga adaptation as well as being a film and this one is not written by Asagiri but is still canon so you have that.

[animeprincessforever]

Brother Dazai X Reader X Chuuya

Why Him?

YOUR POV:

I’ve been in the port mafia since I was 12 I’m a nurse but I have an ability. You see my ability was creation my ability gives me the power to create any non-living material/object from my exposed skin by transforming the molecular structure of my body fat cells and turning it into something. It comes in handy I guess. But I’ve always found it useless. So I love being a nurse for the Port Mafia. However Mr.Mori appreciates it cause I can create replacements of certain valuables and usually by the time people find out it’s a fake it’s too late. I’ve hated my ability cause it always makes me hungry. I eat up to 10 meals a day when I use my ability. Today was one of those days. I had used it to make new communication devices. When me and my brother were summoned to the boss Dazai carried me into the room as I was exhausted. Mori said “Ah, Dazai,  (Y/n)  there’s someone I want you to meet. Chuuya Nakahara. He is the leader of the sheep.” Dazai said “you’re the punk kid from earlier! Very short!” Chuuya said “I’m still growing! And I’m not the leader of the sheep I just have a good card up my sleeve.” As they bickered I asked “Mr.Mori, with all do respect I don’t understand why I’m here. I’m useless. So why am I here.” Ougai replied “you are very useful. Now Dazai and Chuuya you too are going to go on a little mission. (Y/n) please step out your job is separate.” I bowed “yes master.”

Time Skip

When I was summoned by Mr Mori I passed my brother and gave him a hug “be safe and careful brother. I love you.” Dazai smiled and patted my head “you should know by now that no one stands against me.” I smiled “I know” I turned to Chuuya “thank you please look out for each other. Chuuya thank you for your service even if you didn’t have a choice.” I bowed and walked in. Mori said “I would like you to be close by with your tools. Just in case. I have a feeling once the sheep find out they might attack Chuuya. So then he’d join the port.” I nodded “as you wish boss.” He smiled “very well you may be excused.” I then made my way out and waited for my brother’s safe return.

Time Skip

As I went to the spot I was told to meet my brother I watch Chuuya was stabbed and I saw him hiding on the ledge near water. I was with my brother now and Chuuya said “don’t kill the children.” Dazai smirked “as we discussed the children will remained unharmed.” Chuuya huffed as he mumbled “bastard planned it” as my brother and the men left I went over to Chuuya. “What do you want?” He barked and I said “let me help you please.” He mumbled “fine.” So I got to work I brought out my medical box and put gloves on. I removed his jacket and shirt then I removed the knife slowly and put it in a bag. I pulled out some needles and said “these may hurt a bit but it’s going to remove the poison.” As I gave him the shot I bandaged him up. “Here I hope this helps.” I then grabbed a blanket and draped it around him. “To keep you covered I’ll clean your clothes. Now please follow me.” As I got into the limo with him he said “are you really related to that suicidal maniac?” I giggled “oh you mean my brother Dazai. Ya… I know he is a handful but I appreciate you looking out for him!” I said with a smile. Since that day we formed a relationship.

Time Skip

A year later we became boyfriend and girlfriend. However, my brother wasn’t to pleased when I told him he said “why?!?! Oh why?! (Y/n)! Why did you pick Chuuya?! Why him?!” I giggled “love works in mysterious ways” I said with a smile. Dazai said “you know there are taller and more better looking guys out there right?” As he said that Chuuya overheard and like usual they argued

Chuuya-at least I’m not a suicidal manic!

Dazai-at least I’m tall!

Chuuya-I’m still growing!

Dazai-really how much? Half a centimeter?

Chuuya-why you!

Dazai smirked and said “nuh uh uh! Your my dog Chuuya you must respect me after all you lost!” I sighed and shook my head. ‘I wish they could get along.’

Time Skip (in armed detective agency)

I was sound asleep when I heard my brother “we got to go.” Was all he said. I asked “but Chuuya!” Dazai said “we are leaving forget about him you deserve better.” That was YEARS AGO. I miss Chuuya but I know brother did what was best. But now we were in a crazy scenario and it all evolved around a man named Fydor. People where turning into vampires and dying it was scary. However, I was forced to watch from sidelines. When I saw Chuuya tears filled my eyes. He is a vampire! I was shocked I went to the roof as I watched Dazai get the antidote to get the poison out of his body he then said “I had a card up my sleeve. You can come out now!” I looked and saw Chuuya he took off the contacts and said “so what now?” I was frozen the man I love was in front of me. As I blocked out everything just staring at Chuuya I heard him say “damn! These fangs won’t come out!” I giggled and went over to him. “Let me help.” I mumbled as I grabbed something to help them slip out. “There!” I said with a smile. Then Dazai and Nikolai talked with Chuuya I stayed quiet. ‘Just like the old days back in the port.my brother and boyfriend kicking butt while I’m a nurse on scene. I missed it.’ I thought.

Time Skip

Things seemed at peace and I felt happy but I had some sadness ‘I should’ve tried to talk to him more’ then I heard a voice “so you’re still alive.” I saw Chuuya and I said “ya why?” Chuuya said “that’s what Dazai told me during the battle of the guild. But I knew you wouldn’t have died so easily.” He walked closer to me and pinned me against the wall. “Now you owe me for all the time I spent looking for you.” He said as he gave me a kiss I sunk in then I heard my brother. “NO!!!! (Y/n)!!!! Why?!?! I tried to get you to go with Kunikida! I should’ve tried harder! Why Chuuya?!” I smiled and looked at Chuuya then grabbed his hand “Dazai dear brother. You can try to set me up with someone else but it won’t work. I love Chuuya and only him.”

The End SORRY CRINGE Tysm For Reading

[buichiroushirase]

Understanding Shirase is all about understanding the raw meat thing. Because the point, I think, is that he's someone who's always operating on the need to get ahead of what might leave him starving. Quite literally because he's been an orphan in the slums without any power or influence outside of what he can leech off of other since he was seven. He's easy to take at face value, because he's presented predominantly as a comedic character in storm bringer (and IMO one of the funniest parts of that novel), but you don't get a seven year old who was hiding under a bridge to get drunk, living in the sewer with a network of kids protecting each other from trafficking without a little tragedy.

I see a lot of people take him as just an annoying blowhard, which is of course anyone's prerogative, but I think all of his boasting and posturing actually reveals so much about him as a character.

For all of his grandiosity, "I'm the next king''-ing, and claims that he's the smartest and strongest in the Sheep, I don't think he actually believes any of it. To me, he comes across as someone who has constructed their personality around justifying to himself (and to anyone he meets) that he has a right to exist. He has to do this or he wouldn't survive under the conditions he grew up in. I think what's behind the mask is very apparent in these moments:

He's self conscious. Terrified. Deeply aware of exactly how vulnerable and useless he is in the world he inhabits. So he has to put on a show either be overstating his own importance, or throwing a tantrum and shoving indebtedness back in everyone's face. The moment that brings this best into focus is of course the little bit of his POV we get in Storm Bringer.

I think his whole worldview is kind of put on display here. He believes he became so useless that he was left behind and abandoned. He would after all. We know that because that was essentially his approach to Chuuya. And I must emphasize, not because of callousness but because that was the way of the world he grew up in: eating the raw meat before the person sitting next to you can get to it first.

He basically says it himself. That's the only way he survived so long:

I don't think any of that excuses his actions or his mistreatment of Chuuya, but I think it puts his character into perspective and adds depth to him. He's not your toxic friend who cheated off your math homework in middle school, he's a deeply traumatized child desperately trying to survive.

Tangential note to tack onto the end to this, just because I'm probably not gonna write a separate analysis on him, but I often see people interpreting his "I'm the next king" shit in Storm Bringer as evidence that he always thought that, but I'm not so sure of that.

I interpret it more in that he genuinely felt betrayed by Chuuya. In 15, even though he flies off the handle in the arcade scene, he's generally a little bit more composed. I think he genuinely took a big hit from the loss of the sheep. That line when we first meet him again in the factory and he thinks "no one visits me anymore. no one." honestly breaks my heart a little bit. He lost his whole family, and while at that stage we the readers know that he sewed the seeds of his own destruction, it looks to him as though he was just right to be suspicious of and turn on Chuuya. In 15 he acknowledges the Sheep's council structure, and seems to respect it, so I think this line is very genuine. His rational isn't "I was always king" it's more "you were our king and I feel like you failed us so I'm going to be better" however misguided that may be.

[amber-sekio]

Together Forever

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Chuuya x Dazai (Soukoku)

TW: Major Character Death, Angst, Major Angst, No happy ending, I love making characters go through hell, except Chuuya, which is why this isn’t in his pov, I felt evil today

Since the first time Dazai had witnessed the storm that was Arahabaki, Chuuya, he was enthralled. 

Chuuya was human. So painfully human. So beautifully human. 

After all, there was nothing more human than chaos and discord. The human need to find the most perfect, the most orderly form of chaos. 

Chuuya was chaotic and he was perfect. The perfect form of chaos. 

Human. 

Chuuya was human. 

Human. 

_______

For the first time since Dazai witnessed the storm that was Arahabaki, Chuuya, he wasn’t enthralled. 

Chuuya was human. So painfully human. So horrendously human. 

After all, there was nothing more human than life and death. The conclusion to a human life, the inevitable cessation. 

Chuuya was deadly and he was corrupt. 

Human. 

Chuuya was human. 

Blood. 

So much blood. 

There was a burning in his chest from having run here.  

He fell to his knees with no regard for the rubble beneath him. He pulled Chuuya into his arms. 

Red. So much red. 

Yet the body he was clinging to like a child to a stuffed animal was cold. 

He could feel the lingering warmth leaving the body and seeping into his own in a cruel twist of fate. 

He could feel as the warmth entered his own freezing body. 

There was an annoying chattering sound somewhere in the rubble. 

It was cold. It was cold and the body in his arms was becoming freezing to the touch but he couldn’t let go even as he shivered. 

Chuuya was covered in red, further staining his abdomen in sticky red. 

Cold. 

It was so cold. 

He curled himself over Chuuya as if to shield him from the cold, cruel world. 

He was tired and cold. 

He shivered, closing his eyes, pretending Chuuya wasn’t so freezing in his arms. 

… 

So cold…

________

It had been raining nearly all day. He couldn’t help but think it was painfully fitting. 

The gravestone was large and elegant. It was surrounded by droves of people clad in black. Only those closest were allowed to be up near the grave. 

When he finally made it up to the grave with the others, his melancholy grew. 

In the middle of the gravestone, in large, fancy font was the word Soukoku. Below that on the left was Chuuya Nakahara and on the right was Osamu Dazai. 

Apparently, when they were found together, it first looked as if only Dazai was clinging to Chuuya, but Chuuya had his hand clenched around Dazai’s coat as well. Out of respect, they weren’t separated. 

He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt someone grab his arm. He looked up only to realize most people had left after the rain had gotten worse. He looked to his side before relaxing at the sight of Kyouka. 

“Thank you.”

A/N: Requests are OPEN, read the rules, please

[freakroth]

Young Love [chapter 1]

This is a chuuya x reader x dazai fanfic! yay>_<

Btw Y/N is afab Non-binary and uses They/them

Also Finnish Y/N 😼

I suck at writing fanfics but i'm trying best and if you wanna read the chapers i've made so far then they are on my wattpad:D

https://www.wattpad.com/user/Luka_LL

______________________________________________________________

~Y/N POV:~

Finally, after 13 long hours i'm finally in Japan to start my new life! it feels so good to finally get to start a new life away from my family and old friends or more like classmates since i can't think of any of them as friends anymore.

As i step out of the airport i sit down on a bench outside and call for a taxi to come and get me. as i wait for my taxi, i scroll through old pictures of me and my classmates, "..why can't i just be happy like i was back then..?" i mumble to myself.

after about 20 minutes the taxi comes and i go inside it.

"To (college name) please" i say in Japanese to the taxi driver and he starts driving.

while on the way i admirer the city of Yokohama.

"are you a foreigner?" the taxi driver asks me "ah, yes i am" i answer him "this is actually my first time traveling outside of Europa" i say.

"are you European?" the taxi driver asks me "yeah, i'm from Finland"(or whatever country your from) i answer him, and the driver only nods and keeps driving me.

When we get to the college i thank him and pay "bye have a good day!" the driver says before driving of.

"..i'm all on my own now.." i mumble to myself again as i start walking inside the building. while i walk to the principles office i see some people whispering to each other and i'm guessing they are talking about how i look so different from them, it wouldn't be the first time.

while in my thoughts i accidentally bump into someone "oh sorry.." i say, and hear the person huff "whatever" they say and walk way. 'what the fuck did i do' i think to myself. i watch as the ginger haired boy walks over to some other boy with brunet hair thats much taller then him 'that must be his friend or something' i think to myself again.

when i get to the principles office i knock on the door and wait.

"come in!" i hear a woman say from the inside.

"You must be Y/N! am i right?" she asks in a happy voice "uh.. yeah i am" i say back "you must be nervous" she says to me in a calm voice while i keep quiet "theres no need to worry, you'll fit in just fine" she says. 'yeah right, there were just some students back talking me, and i made someone mad, i'm defiantly gonna fit in' i think to myself "..okay.." i say

After she tells me about all of my classes she gives me the keys to my dorm "just know you're gonna have two room mates!" she says as i leave the room.

'Room number 567? that means its on the 5th floor..' i think to myself and start walking to the elevator.

theres a note on the elevator door that says 'out of order' 'great, just my lucky day' i think and start walking up the stairs.

once at the top i start panting a lot "jeez.. that was harder then i thought.." i say to myself.

"543.. 544.. 545.." i look at all of the doors trying to find my own. "here it is!" i say while i start to unlock the door.

"DAZAI WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HAIR BRUSH!?!?" is the first thing i hear when i open the door 'oh lord' "calm down dear, its just a hair brush" says the same brunet from earlier while getting choked by the ginger 'what did i just walk in on' "this is kinda kinky not gonna lie-" the brunet says before the ginger lets go of him. "perv.." mumbles the ginger before he sees me.

"who the fuck are you?" he asks and i freeze "oh! i think thats our new room mate chuuya!" the brunet says excitedly "oh yeah, we were getting a new room mate, thats why we had to clean the guest room" the ginger says in a bit calmer voice now.

i study the boys features carefully.. they are quite pretty both of them, the brunet boy has bandages covering his arm, legs and neck, weird.. the ginger boy has some cute freckles covering his face and one blue and one brown eye. 

"you just gonna stand there like an idiot or introduce yourself to us?" the ginger asks in an annoyed tone. 

"a-ah! i-i'm Y/N..!" 'FUCK WHY DID I HAVE TO START STUTTERING RIGHT NOW!?' i think while dying inside.

"i'm guessing you aren't from Japan, right?" the brunet asks.

"..yeah.. i'm Finnish.." i say.

"i can tell" the ginger says.

'what the fuck is that supposed to mean!?' 

"chuuya, i'm pretty sure thats offensive to say" the brunet says. "HUH!?" the ginger seems shocked. 

"by the way i'm Dazai Osamu" the brunet says " and this here is my boyfriend, Chuuya Nakahara!" he say happily. 

"you shouldn't say that we are boyfriends to them! what if they are homophobic, dumbass!?" Chuuya say in a more irritated voice.

"..its fine.. i'm also a part of the community.." i say an they just look at me. i start to feel pretty weird and think that they are jugging me. i feel like i want to cry but i hold it in as to not make a fool out of myself.

"follow me and i'll show you your room!" Dazai says happily and grabs my hand. i flinch a bit at the contact but don't do anything to not seem like a bother.

"heres your new room!" he says and pushes me into the room closing the door 'finally he left me alone,..' i think while looking around the room, its quite big, probably bigger then my old room back.. home.. i feel sad thinking about my "home".. it never really felt like a home or a safe place for me.. all i can remember are bad times from when my parents yelled at me and said they were gonna hit me.

i wipe a tear that was running down my cheek and start unpacking my stuff.

"..this is gonna be a long night.." i sigh.

(authors note: i'll try to update this as much as i can since i'm busy with school stuff:) there might be a bit of smut in the next chapter;

Please don't steal this (nobody is gonna do that anyway) and i won't post the next chapter for a while so just read it on my wattpad. it might take me like months to post more chapters since i might forget lol) 

[howlingtides]

Dazai visits Chuuya after Chuuya used Corruption to save him (Chuuya's POV)

Takes place immediately after Dead Apple

tags: hurt/comfort, soukoku's version of fluff, Chuuya has chronic pain

Every time Chuuya activated Corruption, it took him a little longer to recover. When he was younger, he'd sleep it off in a few hours. The last couple of times, it had taken him maybe a day or two.

It had been three days since he'd defeated that dragon and saved Dazai's ass, and his entire body still felt like it had been crushed beneath the pressure of his own ability.

It was absolutely brutal.

He'd definitely exceeded the recommended dose of painkillers over the last seventy-two hours, and though they did help a bit, it still wasn't enough. His head throbbed and his muscles burned and his bones ached and it took every ounce of effort he had to get out of bed and force himself to eat something.

All he had left in the fridge was some leftover rice and a half empty bottle of white wine, and cooking was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He opted for the rice, popping the lid off the container and grabbing a pair of chopsticks and bringing everything with him over to the couch where he all but fell against the cushions with a groan.

He'd just taken his first bite when there was a knock at the door.

You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

It crossed his mind to play absent, to let whoever was here think he wasn't home so they would go away and just leave him the fuck alone while he wallowed in his post-Corruption agony.

"Chuuuuuyaaa," came a sing-song voice from outside, another knock following suit.

Oh he was definitely pretending that he wasn't home.

"I know you're in there," Dazai said. "I can feel you pouting."

Damn it all to hell.

"Go to hell you goddamn coat rack."

"But Chuuya," he pressed, "I come bearing gifts."

Gifts? What the hell could shitty Dazai have possibly brought him?

He pondered it for a moment before ultimately deciding that this was a losing battle. Chuuya was either going to let Dazai in or Dazai was going to eventually let himself in.

He set the rice down on the coffee table and pushed himself up with a grunt, dragging himself over to the front door. And he must've been in worse shape than he thought because the moment he opened the door, Dazai's stupid smile faded a little.

Just a little.

But it was enough.

"Please don't," Chuuya said before Dazai could comment on his appearance.

"Don't what?"

"Just. Don't." He scrubbed a hand over his face. "Not today."

They stood there in silence for a moment as Chuuya held his breath.

Eventually, Dazai held up a brown paper bag. "In the mood for some carbonara?"

Chuuya was always in the mood for carbonara, and shitty Dazai knew that, but Chuuya was not in the mood for company, and Dazai probably knew that, too.

It was then that Chuuya's stomach growled and he remembered the cold white rice he was about to eat.

Begrudgingly, he stepped aside, allowing Dazai to enter.

It was also then that he realized how dark his apartment was. He'd kept all the blinds closed and the lights off because everything hurt and the light hurt, but if Dazai had something to say about it, he kept it to himself. Which was unsettling.

Was Chuuya dreaming?

"I figured you were still wallowing," Dazai said, setting the bag down on the coffee table next to the sad leftovers. "I haven't heard from you since you passed out in my lap."

There it was.

"That was not by choice, asshole," Chuuya snarled, limping back over to sit on the couch. "You held me down."

Dazai sat on the other side. "You looked pretty comfortable to me."

Chuuya could feel himself getting worked up, the pain increasing. "Dazai," he warned, rubbing at his temple.

"What?" Dazai continued. "It's not like it was the first time you've ever-"

"I should have left you to die."

"Well if you'd've done that, you'd be dead, too."

"Not the worst thing in the world right now."

Dazai paused at that and gave Chuuya this look.

Was that pity?

"I swear to god, if you-"

"I never got to thank you," Dazai said, cutting him off.

Chuuya froze, still trying to decide whether or not this was a dream.

"You saved me," Dazai continued. "You're always saving me, Chuuya." He slid the paper bag across the table. "So. Thank you."

Chuuya's chest felt warm. He stared down at the bag then back up at Dazai. "That's not poisoned, is it?"

Dazai gasped. "Chuuya! So soon after what happened to me? Consider a guy's feelings."

"You're so fucking full of it."

Dazai smirked. "You want me to take the first bite?"

He grabbed the paper bag, holding it away from Dazai. "Don't fucking touch it."

"I brought it for both of us."

Chuuya thought for a moment before setting the bag back down. "I guess," he uttered, "I guess I owe you one, too. For," he stared down at his hands, "saving me."

Dazai hummed in acknowledgement. "Has Chuuya gone soft?"

"Dick," Chuuya said, softly punching Dazai in the arm.

Dazai chuckled. "You're so easy."

Chuuya felt his cheeks go hot, and he wanted to scream, but he was also starving, and if it meant sharing a meal with Dazai to eat some delicious carbonara in his time of need, then.

Well, he guessed it also wasn't the worst thing in the world right now either.

[im-a-chunky-potato]

^^ @squidsandthings Here's the thing, but from Chuuya's pov!

Next week. Next week would mark the anniversary of the flags Death.

How many years had it been? Too many. Far too many. He should be rotting next to them, his decaying flesh revealing the monster beneath his skin.

...

He swore he would be easier on himself this year. But It's too late...maybe next year. He planned to drown himself in the sensation of wine, maybe go get some flowers for their grave.

They would call him sappy, but it eased the pain. Turned the storm into more of a strong breeze, eased the churning in his stomach.

In a few minutes, it was decided. He would buy some flowers and bring them some of their favorite things. Motorcycle oil, a deck of cards, whatever they seeked.

Without warning, a gentle tap on his shoulder sent him into a spiral.

Who's there? Are they planning to attack me? What do they want? Are they dangerous?

He was trained for this. Always the sharp and cunning soldier. Without hesitation he activated his ability and sent the person flying.

It didn't sound right. He knew what the enemies sounded like as they hit the wall. It was a heavy sound, a thunk that shook him everytime he did it. But this was softer, a lighter sound. Almost like...

A child.

That couldn't be it, he glanced over- and puked right down in front of him. It was a child, a boy with blonde hair. It took him a moment to recognize it, but it was the farmer.

Kenji Miyazawa. A sweet kid with a respectable ability. He seemed to respect Chuuya, something he couldn't wrap around.

But this wasn't how he should be. Already the air was thick with blood, bones popping out in ways they never should. He had to do something and fast.

"Shit- Kid!!! Get up, please, I need to know you're alive, please Kenji."

Even to himself his voice sounded pathetic, too desperate and wracked with despair. It hasn't been like this...since...since that day.

And suddenly he was back there. His friends groans of pains, the way he clinged onto them and was forced to watch helplessly as they died.

Its his fault. Again. Everyone he finds enjoyable is struck down and killed. He's cursed. A monster. He deserves to be isolated.

He snaps out of it once he notices the boy open his eyes. He couldn't do this...he can't be responsible for another death. He trembles, shaking under the weight of his guilt.

"Kenji...I didn't...I didn't mean to...I swear." He shouldn't be like this. He doesn't deserve to sound pathetic or scared. He did this, didn't he? Just like with everyone else.

"Kenji...please...please hold on" Even then he continues to whisper his pathetic words. He always was a failure at keeping promise wasn't he. Kenji seems to want to speak- but he can't say a word.

Chuuya can feel the touch of death looming around. It's cruel and sickeningly sweet, it fills any room it is. Chuuya would know.

Tears fills his eyes. He can't. There's nothing to do. It's far too late to save anyone. He fails another soul, and yet all he can do is sob.

Fucking Pathetic.

He stays there, his cries growing louder and louder. He can't breathe. He can't breathe. He can't breathe.

"I'm sorry"

Its quiet, but the words echo throughout his brain. Why is he apologizing to a demon? A God of calamity? The one responsible got all of this?

Before he can say any of this, Death receives its gift. The child is taken away, and all that's left is the unwanted soul, the one so corrupted no one will ever steal it. The raging soul. The one who wants it to be him, the one who stares death straight in the eye and is still ignores.

Perhaps his cries are heard from the heavens. But like always:

He's ignored.

[kaiserkisser]

ok this thought has been eating me up from ages, practically ever since i started bsd

but the song 'Suicide Love' by Midsplit is literally SO soukoku coded

although its more from dazai's pov, specifically dark era!dazai i think, regarding chuuya imo, especially this part of the song

"tell me if im leaving would you miss me / tell me im bleeding would you fix me / tell me white lies for these dark thoughts / tell me how to heal with a broken heart"

and ever since i saw an skk amv of this song i havent been able to let it go its been taking up all my braincells (i dont have any but okay)

also, on a slightly different note, afterglow by taylor swift is also so skk coded BUT i keep thinking of it in terms of IWSYNTTR. like. just. its fits. so damn much. esp for that dam fic that i still adore.

although its true that practically any song is skk coded as long as you're deranged enough (which i one hundred percent am.)

aaanyways just wanted to get this out there lol

[oddlylongtelephonecord]

I wanna dump my list of skk fic recs so I have a list of all my favorite ones and I can finally close out of some of my 30 ao3 tabs.

1. (I’m sure you all saw this one coming so I’m going to get it out of the way first) I will admit, I didn’t love the last chapter or two. But the rest of this is an absolute masterpiece. It’s one of the best characterizations of skk I’ve seen in these really popular fics.

2. Kyoka pov, ft. chuuya’s breakdown after dazai left. It’s been a while since I read it, but I didn’t keep it open in a tab for over a year for no reason.

3. This is by far my favorite one tbh. Dazai and Chuuya at 15, 16, 17, and 18, and how they grew into and out of each other. It crushed my soul. Let it crush yours too.

4. I’ll be so honest it’s need forever since I read this one BUT I remember it being one that felt like it changed the trajectory of my life and flipped my worldview upside down. Like maybe I’m being dramatic, but again, there’s a reason I refused to close the tab.

5. this one easily ties with 3 for my favorite actually. Shows every time Chuuya uses corruption and how Dazai handles Chuuya’s near-death experiences (spoiler alert: dazai doesn’t take it well)

6. this is the only unfinished one on here I think, but it’s pretty much exactly what it says in the title. Follows Dazai and Chuuya as they try to deal with the fact that Dazai does in fact feel emotions

7. By the same author as above, outsider pov fic (kunikida) dazai has a minor breakdown + dazai and chuuya arguing in french, this one is also unfinished but it doesn’t end on a cliffhanger so that’s nice

I’ll def keep adding to this as I find new fics that I enjoy enough to save (a very rare occurrence, my standards are about as far from low as you can get. It’s kind of obnoxious, but you know what they say, c’est la vie)

[reixtsu]

ℙ𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕦𝕖 - ✾ Shared Interests ✾ - Soukoku x Female Reader

So I decided to post this on Tumblr too!

Third Person POV

"Shinju wa hitori dewa deki nai~" a man hummed happily underneath the sunset of Yokohama. It was quiet where he was. No cars, no people, just him on a pier over the water.

The pier was high above the water. The salty breeze tickled his nose and dances around his coat. The waves cascaded on the waves repeatedly, creating a soothing ambiance as the man stared into its watery depths. The water constantly moving, never still...what if he went in?

"Oi, Dazai. What are you doing here? Trying to do another attempt?" Another voice remarked.

The said man, Osamu Dazai turned around to look at the shorter male. His face was enigmatic, as if contemplating his decisions in life. "What do you want, Chuuya?"

"I was gonna clear my mind but then you're here," Chuuya growled, placing a hand on his hip as he stood besides the brown haired man. He kept one hand on top of his hat, making sure it doesn't fly away from the violent wind.

"Ew. A slug is next to me," Dazai dramatically gagged, acting  as if he was going to barf.

Chuuya side eyed him, too tired to deal with  dramatic suicidal maniac.

"Oi, bastard."

"What do you want, hat rack?"

"Tch," Chuuya refrained himself from lashing back, despite his muscles really wanting to punch the other man in the face. Dazai just smirked at him. "That new girl in your agency...what's her name?"

Oh? That was something Dazai did not expect Chuuya to ask this soon. Dazai smirked, placing his elbows on the rail as he gazed at the painting of warm colors in the sky.

"Didn't think you had nice taste in women, Chuuya." Dazai said humorously. "Well, her name is Y/n L/n. Quite the beaut, I'd say so myself. She's the new therapist assigned to work for our clients in the detective agency."

Chuuya hummed, his deep voice catching onto his throat slightly as his blue orbs stared at the water. The sunset seemed to melt into the ocean, adding a tint of orange upon the water's surface.

"That so? Good to know," Chuuya muttered pensively.

Dazai side glanced Chuuya, quietly observing his features as he figured out the meaning behind them. "Ah. Shortie has a crush now? Oh wow, and here I thought you were married to wine!" He said in a silvery tone.

"Says the suicidal mackerel," Chuuya retorted, feeling his patience slowly dissipating. "So what if I find someone attractive!"

"So you do admit~" Dazai let out a light hearted chuckling, making Chuuya jump away in disgust.

"How about we make a bet, hm?" 

"Bets with you would be the death of me," Chuuya muttered, glaring daggers at Dazai. To the taller man, Chuuya looked like an angry Chihuahua.

"A challenge then. Wine will be the prize~"

"...What is it?" The ginger grumbled, taking off his hat to place it over his chest as he turned to look at Dazai's profile.

Dazai looked back at Chuuya with a shit-eating grin that made Chuuya want to kick him into the water. The wind made both of the men's hair flutter gently at the rhythm of the breeze.

"I'll make her fall in love with me in 15 days or less!" Dazai smirked confidently.

"Oh yeah? As if I'd let you!" Chuuya stomped his feet like a child, looking pissed at Dazai's challenge. 

Chuuya's response only make Dazai' grin bigger and much more irritating.

"The timer starts tomorrow at eight in the morning. Good luck! You need it since you don't have her contacts~~~ Ack- Chuuya you're chocking me!"

"Kinky bastard, give me her number," Chuuya growled. He kept his gloved hand grasped tightly around Dazai's collar as he stared into Dazai's dead eyes.

"Ahaha. Left my cell phone in my house, aka trash can~!"

And overwhelming about of disgust crashed onto Chuuya, causing him to let go of Dazai.

"You dirty bastard! Nasty! No wonder you get rejected so often."

Dazai had never gasped so dramatically until that moment. He jumped back multiple times as if he had been struck. Slumping back, he laid his hand over his head, emotionally offended.

"Don't involve the waifus into this."

"Ha! Waifu?! You got no bitches!"

"Gasp! Neither do you."

"I have my wine! Besides, I'm 'bout to steal this Y/n L/n before your filthy hands touch her!"

"I've shaken hands with her."

"You will NOT make me jealous now!"

Next: *none yet*

I might add a tag list. If you wanna get tagged, let me know in the comments or just dm me!

[just-a-dinosaur-i-guess]

tell me your favorite things

“Shibuuu!” Ranpo Edogawa runs in, leaning on the counter with so much of their body that their noses touch. Shibusawa chuckles, not minding a customer so late if it’s them. “Yes?” He and Ranpo have been going out for about a month now, and the young Dazai and Chuuya would say this is thanks to them. But the two actually in the relationship know better; Ranpo was intrigued ever since Shibusawa came to town, finding the ex-model now looking for a fresh start away from the busy city fascinating. - on shibusawa, ranpo, and a quiet evening

written for @bsd-rarepair-week-2024, shiburan, shibusawa pov, soft, 1487 words, brief skk mention

aka: shiburan fluff <3

written for the day six prompts domestic fluff & no powers au