#since everyone had it out for the platypus anyway

[handfulofmuses]

"WHADDYA MEAN STARLINE IS DEAD?! I DIDN'T EVEN GOT TO PUNCH HIM!"

[yanmuffins]

waiter! waiter! more phineas and ferb reader pls!

I wonder how the batfam would react once they catch reader inventions on a random tuesday, like, "hm, what a nice day to look out on the window and HOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE A GIANT ROBOT SPITING FIRE WHILE RIDING A ROLLERCOASTER IN MY BACKYARD???"

the events that would follow this incident would be funny and exasperating, me thinks

also, wouldn't it be funnier if Perry the Platypus was part of the JL? and like, no one knows his identity but Superman, and neither of them are willing to talk about it-

I know it would be very unlikely, since everyone there would have enough neurons to recognize a platypus with and without a hat, but for the sake of shit and giggles, just think of how funny that would be

welp, I needed to get that outta ma chest, I hope I at least made you laugh a little, because seriously this is one of the best ideas I've seen in this tag and I can't stop thinking and giggling about it

Stay well!

context.

first: i was not expecting this concept to be so popular!! the responses i've gotten from everyone are so amazing!!  ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝) thank you for the ask, anon!! it always makes my day.

i am formally announcing that i will be turning phineas and ferb reader into a fic now. it's too good a concept to pass up. something more light-hearted to work between the other fics i'm writing.

batfamily finding out about reader's whacky inventions would be an event. it so wholeheartedly shatters the image they had of reader to the point they just have to sit with what the hell just happened for a while before they even consider what to do about you next. still so many things that don't make sense. their newest case is how the fuck did we go this long without finding out (Y/N) has been building mechas in our backyard and why are those things always gone when it's convenient.

then the realizations just start dropping on them like an anvil on a looney tunes character. and they kinda feel like shit, cause how did they not notice? really puts into perspective how they've neglected you all this time. so many stunts you pulled right under their nose, on their backyard, their garage, throughout gotham and metropolis. ok, were out there being creative and amazing and you sure know how to spend the wayne family money, they'll give you that, but it was so irresponsible of you! who knows what could've gone wrong. you're not like them! you're a civilian with no training, the only regular teenager in the family, you're the last person who should be exposing themselves doing all that.

bruce goes off on you, screaming about how could you be so reckless, you did all of this behind his back– what? what do you mean he gave his permission? and he is floored, devastated, blood pressure up, when you remind him of every instance you dropped by his office with a document for him to sign or to ask for permission, with proof as you pull out every paper he put his signature without a second look.

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is when reader's dynamic with the batfam does a complete 180 and their little yandere antennae start going off. no more whacky cartoonish shenanigans. at least not without proper supervision. they know you're not a fan of this new arrangement, but you gotta understand they let you go unchecked for way too long! they'll drown you in family activities so you don't even have to worry about it. who wants to build a teleportation machine, anyway? just join them for family movie night.

as for perry, that is going to take them a while longer to figure out. bruce just can't stand another insane discovery, so when batman sees an intelligent platypus wearing a fedora and walking on two feet on justice league headquarters (if we're going by the idea that he's a part of JL), he's just going to think "my kid has a pet platypus. huh."

oh, consider:

dick: "damian, you knew all this time?! our sibling could've gotten into serious trouble! why didn't you tell us about this?"

damian: stares into the camera like he's in the office.

[captain-space-kin]

My take on the regional Sora’s trend! She’s an alien now >:3

I had no idea what to do for this initially, but then it hit me, I could just shove her into my OC story. If I have the motivation I might shove everyone else into it too! I roughed out some ideas for the main cast while working on this.

A (sort of) brief lore explanation and tag list under the cut o7 (also tumblr killed the quality so click for a better view etc etc)

A lot of this still a work in progress since I’ve been changing this species lore a lot recently, but! Starsino’s are a semi-aquatic vaguely amphibious + reptilian race, whose society at large bears a striking resemblance to Imperium (hence why I chose it for Sora). Their eyesight is not great, and as a whole the species used to have a sixth sense that would them navigate in difficult to see areas like underwater (similar to a platypus!). At some point the ✨Space Fae✨ (not an 100% accurate description but it’d take too long to explain their lore afshhdf) came down and gifted them the ability of True Sight. Which expanded their sixth sense to allow them access to telepathic/telekinetic abilities. Eventually the ✨Space Fae✨ got bored and left but also took the True Sight with them, which inadvertently cut off their species ability to access this sixth sense at all, which caused their entire society to collapse. Not everyone lost their “sight” but the majority of people did. Some people are still born with the sixth sense and even True Sight, they’re called Seers and True Seers respectively.

Nowadays there are two major factions of Starsino’s society, The Dictatorship, and The Cult. Both are trying to restore everyone’s access to the True Sight they’re just going about it a different way. There’s a lot more to it them this but it can basically be boiled down to a Science Vs. Magic thing.

Sora being born with True Sight (which is where her tech manipulation stuff comes in), is taken from her family as a baby and given to the Science People to experiment on. Eventually she escapes and makes it out of Starsino controlled space. Where she meets Arin! Who is just some human guy who managed to get off of Earth somehow, idk I haven’t really worked that all out.

Anyway! Gonna try to not let this be an all consuming project like my AU’s usually are, but it is oh so tempting

Tag list -

@Inspectorghoul @fading-through-existence @juniperjellyfish @carmelo-san @lightningchicken

@crying-over-cartoons @officercooks @mywasasi @ashclouds366 @basicallyjaywalker 

@finn-m-corvex @garmaballs

[viralarcadian]

i'm sick of looking at this so JAX 2.0 WITH NEW AND IMPROVED FLAVOUR

not much changed other than simplifying certain aspects of his design. no more alternating stripes on his spines, just solid glowy colour

and also me. adding things obv this is meant to be his totk era design after he starts going back to the domain and repairing his relationship w sidon and his dad. he gets to see his mom again after a hundred years bc i headcanon that until calamity ganon was defeated zelda had been creating a barrier around hyrule as well. no one could get in or out sort of thing

ANYWAYS he starts spending a few months out of the year in termina and he shows back up one year w a tattoo

i like to think that terminian zora look a lot more like the OG oot/mm/ooa/ww designs (laruto counts shhhh). aka more leggy bc they're reef zora and bc it adds to the weird alienness i think is inherent to termina in general. he takes after his mom in a lot of ways

jax is a nickname his full name is jacek bc when he hatched the hyacinths were in bloom :). and also bc some varieties of pink hyacinth are exactly as eye-searing as his stripes. only his parents (and later sidon) call him that though he hates it when other people use it

still has his guitar, i just can't be assed to draw it again. he carries it around in a fishing net modified to be a bag

honorary citizen of lurelin bc he kept monsters away and babysat everyone's kids for 20 years. the kids made him a bracelet out of cowries as a birthday present one year and it's one of his most cherished possessions

also since i forgot to mention it in the pic i gave him little hollow wrist spurs like a platypus so he can inject venom w his hands and not just his spines

[holidayvisa]

14 December 2023 - I had breakfast at the hostel. I slept in again and lazied about the hostel. Dave and Christy picked me up from the hostel at noon, and we drove north to a bowling pitch where wallabees are often sighted. We knew our chances weren't good because of the recent cyclone and the current rain, but we decided to give it a try anyway. When we got there, we were surprised to find a whole bunch of wallabees, jumping around the bowling pitch! Even though it was rainy, they were still hanging out. Right before we left, a group of wallabee went full on sprinting across the field, hopping through the deep puddles and splashing water as they did. It looked to me like they were intentionally puddle jumping and splashing, just like little (human) kids in a rainstorm! We drove back to Cairns and grabbed lunch. After lunch, we decided to go on a walk. We walked to the beach and walked along the beach, then we walked 6.2km from our lunch place to the esplanade, north to Cairns Fun Ship Playground, then along Lily Creek Circuit back to the lunch spot. During our walk, Dave saw a platypus in the creek!!! I'm so jealous that I missed it! By the time I looked, it was gone. We saw multiple dozens of bats hanging from the fruit trees along our walk! We even saw some of them flying, and since it was during the day, we could see the silhouettes of their wing bones through their wings! It looked really cool!

After our walk, we went to my hostel and played the boardgame Ticket to Ride. A few other people at my hostel joined in for the second game.

Dave and Christy decided to head out for dinner, and I decided to stick around and play more board games with my friends at the hostel. We played Ticket to Ride some more, and then we played Jenga, and then we played Fishbowl. I found out that people across the world play Fishbowl, but they all call it different names. In France, there's a French name for it, in Germany they call it Activity, in Brazil they have a Brazilian name for it, and in Spain, they call it "Alto el Fuego," which means stop the fire. It's exactly the same game, played by people of different nationalities all over the world! And we played it tonight! Tonight, we played with Moonay from Japan, Art from Japan, Jaggy from Austria, Rainbow from Taiwan, Vincent from Taiwan, Flavio from Brazil, Mar from Brazil, Gemma (pronounced "Hemma") from Spain, Lily from China, Sakura from Japan, and me from the USA. We played until midnight, at which point we got kicked out of the common space because it's quiet hours. Most everyone is wanting to play again tomorrow!

I'm grateful for Dave and Christy, who didn't even ask me if I wanted to come with them; they just said, "we're picking you up." I'm grateful for the new friends I'm making at the hostel. I'm grateful for the fun times. I was feeling some social anxiety the first few nights at the hostel. I felt like I was an outsider. Now, I feel like I'm part of the crew. Zak Fisher, a friend and roommate in Zion, says, "Life happens when you leave your room." I like this saying more and more. It's so true. One could be content to live one's life in the comfort and safety of one's room. But the interesting, new, exciting, novel things happen when one leaves the safety and comfort of one's room and experiences the most unlikely and unexpected things that the universe devises.

[youngerfrankenstein]

“You SEE Perry the Platypus, back when I was a young boy in Gimmelshtump, colour was… not really a thing we did. People painted their houses grey or brown, we all made sure any garden plants were on the verge of dying, and it was the job of several children to throw dust into the air to blot out the sky on rare sunny days.

However, there were some times where we got to see all the colours of the rainbow. It was, well it was when there was a rainbow. And on those days, the townsfolk would get together with pitchforks to hunt the leprechaun at the end of it so they could steal his gold. They never FOUND him until one day, the rainbow ended right in my family’s yard!

I knocked on the little cottage that appeared right where the rainbow ended, and the leprechaun stepped out. Seeing me, he assumed I was there to steal his gold, and I mean, it was GOLD and he probably had more than he needed I mean he lived in a magic cottage! Anyway, since I didn’t have a pitchfork he grabbed a large stick and chased me fourteen miles over the countryside hitting me with the stick all the way. After that, he packed up and took the rainbow with him. And much to the dismay of the angry townsfolk, who DID have pitchforks (and they hurt!) we never saw a rainbow again.

Now, since I was robbed of all colour as a child, everyone today will be too! BEHOLD! My Sepia-Tone-Inator!”

I've been thinking bout the fact that Perry the Platypus is canonically ace

So I want a Phineas and Ferb episode that takes place during pride month and there's a pride parade in Danville.

Doofensmirtz builts an inator to ruin it. (He's not homophobic or anything, he just doesn't like rainbows for backstory reasons). Only for Perry to come in, with an ace flag pin on his hat for the occasion.

Doof immediately puts a stop to his plan, cause he can't bring himself to ruin the parade for Perry.

Rest of the episode is just them going to the pride parade and vibing (and maybe doof getting over his dislike for rainbows or something).

[scruffyplayssonic]

Are the ArchieSonic comics actually an 80’s/90’s syndicated cartoon? Episode 58: We have to save the environment, and so do you! (part 2: the Downunda Freedom Fighters)

Hey folks, I’ve got a follow-up to the post I did yesterday about ArchieSonic stories with a focus on saving the environment. As always, I asked everyone to write to me in the comments and let me know if I missed any, and it seems that this time I did!

Thanks for the response, @19molly97! I definitely forgot about that story, and in fact, forgot about the Downunda Freedom Fighters themselves. Rather shameful, considering that I’m Australian myself. I believe this may be the first time I’ve talked about these guys here, so let’s take a look at the Downunda Freedom Fighters.

The Downunda Freedom Fighters consisted of five members: Walt Wallaby, the leader; Barby Koala, the badass mercenary; Guru Emu, the hippie pacifist; Wombat Stu, the young sidekick; and Duck “Bill” Platypus, the… err, the platypus? I guess? In all honesty, he didn’t have a lot of distinction in the early days, he just looked cool. Also, did you know that Wombat Stu’s name is a pun on the title of an Australian children’s book?

Well played, Mike Gallagher, well played.

The DFF were first introduced in issue #2 of the Tails mini series, when Tails was on a solo mission to the continent of Downunda to stop Robotnik’s latest scheme. Tails had gotten tired of the other Freedom Fighters treating him like a little kid and not taking him seriously, so when he found out that Robotnik was sending a blimp full of supplies to his sub-boss Crocbot across the ocean, he decided to solve this case by himself to prove his capability to them. Unfortunately, this mission didn’t come off as the heroic fantasies he’d envisioned…

…but instead revolved around Tails mostly getting his butt kicked and having to be rescued by other Freedom Fighter groups. 

The DFF went on the attack and took the fight to Crocbot’s base in the… Sydney Opera House?

Sir. You go too far. The Sydney Opera House is an icon of historic and cultural wonder, not a bastion of evil. For shame, sir, for shame.

Since Tails’ injuries had put him out of the fight, Walt had taken him for medical attention at a massive crater, which turned out to be the former site of what was now the Floating Island.

It was here that Tails met Knuckles’ great-grandfather Athair, and learned of the prophecy that named none other than him as the “Chosen One.”

With that revelation taking up real estate in his brain and his injuries miraculously healed, Tails linked back up with the local resistance and managed to interfere with the delivery of Robotnik’s supply blimp at the critical moment.

Crocbot tried to escape in a nuclear-powered tank, but of all people it was the pacifist Guru Emu who asked Tails to help bring him down.

“But wait, shouldn’t a nuclear explosion like that have devastated the environment with radiation?” I can hear you asking. And yes, I’d have thought it should. But it was apparently fine, and there’s a very simple explanation for that.

…anyway! The next appearance of the DFF was in Sonic #49, when Bunnie and Antoine had been captured and shipped off to Downunda’s new prison camp in the crater. Which again, apparently had no traces of radiation. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It turned out that Crocbot had not been destroyed in the explosion, only mutilated, and he’d managed to turn the tables on the Downunda Freedom Fighters and make them his prisoners and personal playthings. Bunnie and Antoine were able to help free their new friends and smuggle themselves aboard a ship back to Robotropolis to do their bit in the final battle against Robotnik. Meanwhile the Downunda Freedom Fighters took Crocbot and his robot army apart.

After winning the battle the team started a project to restore the crater to its original condition, but unbeknownst to them, Bill had been put under Crocbot’s mind control while he was a prisoner. He started acting on sleeper programming, leading an army of platypi… platypusses… platy… ducky beaver things, and sabotaging the DFF’s restoration efforts.

Luckily in issue #61 Sonic and Tails dropped by to lend a hand and were able to help the team get Bill back to normal and once again stop Crocbot.

After that things were quiet enough on the continent that Wombat Stu was able to take a leave of absence and join Geoffrey St. John’s secret service.

This leads us into the story 19molly97 mentioned, Myth Taken Identity, which was printed in issues #203 - 205. The Downunda Freedom Fighters were holding auditions for a replacement for Wombat Stu, but found the candidates to be…

…that. The team started reminiscing about how they first came together to fight Crocbot...

...but were soon interrupted by a cry for help. 

Fearing that Crocbot’s final warning had come to pass, the DFF decided to investigate.

Guru Emu went into a trance to give them a history lesson about bunyip lore, but was too stoned out of his mind to help when they were attacked by none other than the bunyip itself.

Guru snapped out of it just in time to see his teammates get dragged below the water and dropped (or at least noted he was not dropping) what may just be the first cuss word recorded in the Sonic series (in English anyway), beating Shadow and his damned fourth Chaos Emerald by several years.

Barby was able to calm the bunyip down and sweet talk her into not harming them, and she told them her story. Crocbot had built this dam to generate hydroelectric power when he was trying to conquer Downunda, which had drained the local rivers and lakes and left nowhere for the Bunyip to live except for the dirty and polluted lake the dam had created. Over the time the Bunyip’s simmering anger had progressed into an uncontrollable rage, and she had started lashing out at everyone around her.

At this point Guru had managed to catch up with everyone and announced that he’d found a stockpile of explosives they could use to blow up the dam, restoring the local waterways and the bunyip’s natural habitat. 

Score one more victory for the Downunda Freedom Fighters, and the environment!

The next the Downunda Freedom Fighters showed up was in Sonic Universe #11 and 12, when they teamed up with Knuckles and the Chaotix to save Angel Island from Dr. Finitevus and the Downunda chapter of the Dark Egg Legion, now being led by an undercover Bill Platypus.

But that story wasn’t so much about saving the environment - it was more about Knuckles getting a rematch with Finetevus after the whole Enerjak incident. So I think we can wrap a bow on this chapter!

Are there any other environmentally-focused stories in ArchieSonic that I missed? Let me know in the comments! Next week I’ll be covering episode 59: “stranded in the ocean.” Sonic’s favourite episode, clearly. :P

[truckreincarnation]

Fucking Insanity | Shinjuku | Trial 3.3 | RE: Bian, Avery, “Y’all need to Chill” Crew, Yuliya

It was a half assed apology.

Granted, there was a lot to consider, since this trial was high stress and anxiety inducing, and this place is not the right place for a proper apology, but…. Still.

As soon as Bian backed Harriet into a corner, treating her like a monster that needs to be scared and feel guilt, Shin could feel his heart catch in his throat. Knowing both of their reasonings and fears did not make this any better, but he still had to take Harriet’s side in the matter.

Yet, majority of his argument being completely disregarded or ignored by a shit ton of people doesn’t make him feel any better.

Treating someone who could have possibly done it like a cage animal, only to back off with a quick apology yet still being angry… really makes Shin reconsider some things. Being a man who has killed someone before, he certainly gets the reasons of anyone who has been driven to that. So to treat them like trash and some horrific creature…

…maybe he’s regretting saying some things. Regretting some confident trust.

Ah the track record, his favorite friend.

Instead, his brows furrowed to mask his intense discomfort, before clearing his throat.

“Oi. Oi okay lay off for a moment.” Shin says to the general group, before looking between everyone. There, he presses two fingers against the bridge of his nose, before sighing. This is giving him a headache. “I get standing up for yourself, acting confident, while also proving someone is not the murderer, but this song and dance is the same as last trial. Can we just try to be a bit reasonable?”

“Now, with some matters at hand. Yuliya does have a point, Harriet. I do trust you, and I know you feel comfortable sharing things to me, so with what happened when you arrived at the fountain room, uh…. so… yeah, just know you have me to fall back on.” There, he looks back at Bian, carefully. “I can vouch for her alibi aspects, and understand she does have a motive based on what she shared to me, but… that’s not important to share. Focusing on the facts at hand is important.”

Another sigh. “Okay, my turn to speak. My turn. Give me a moment.”

At Avery’s questioning, though, Shin glances over to them, before nodding. “On it, lemme answer those for ya real quick.” Running through the many… many inquiries in his head, trying to keep them all there, he clears his throat.

“Whenever I get alerted, it’s like a weird sensation. Like a pit in my stomach, causing me to be jittery or on edge, or just a doom-sensing desire. Or some shit. Is that like anxiety? I dunno, anyway-“ He shakes his head. “I get alerted for any and every injury. The sensation or pang is more intense if the injury is more severe and gruesome. It does not last long, but every time they get hurt, it happens again. Not like a continuous feeling though, it’s like… distinct sorta feeling with short pings that happen and then just fade away.”

“So, yeah, every time Frank was hit in one, I would feel something for a few seconds, before it fades. Which I should say, every time one of my bondmates does a spar, and gets hit, I can tell.” Where is the goddamn OFF SWITCH. “As for my current bondmates… sure. It keeps becoming case knowledge, so why not. My current bonds are with Perry, Luz, Esmee, and Frank. And to support that-“

Shin rolls up his sleeves for a moment, and sure enough, four tattoos. A platypus sleeping underneath a tree, a knife with spider lilies, two teddy bears on a moon stargazing, and a broken music measure where the lines are disjointed and the notes are falling off the measure.

“All right here.” He rolls down his sleeves. “As for the spacing out of the pangs…. Uhhh….. prolly about four per minute during that time? As like an average, sometimes there was more, sometimes there was less.”

“Now, back to the trial at hand. We need to go back and reassess things to save people from ripping out each other’s throats. Yes, this is stressful, and I damn sure am a hypocrite, but we are not getting anywhere by doing shit like this. Frank and Esmee are right. Germain too.” He gives a nod to the cat boy, before pausing.

….Frank, Esmee, and Shin being the voices of reason? Huh. WOW. What a change of pace! That’s WEIRD. NICE GOING TEAM!! There’s a small ping of smugness in his mind, but he keeps it to himself. Not the right time to be cocky.

“So someone completely smashed the bench, not Frank. Makes sense that it has to be the killer when they were attacking. Dunno where that gets us though, since the lance and other things still remain at large.”

“As for the accusations toward Vee, it could be possible. I mean, they do have an alibi about Meili arriving at the post office a minute after Frank started getting attacked. Which, could be the truth or an estimate. I mean, there is merit in their statement after all, since there were two birds missing from the post office, meaning Meili’s letter has to be one of them. Though, I know that they could have been hiding out in the storage room, knowing what Meili was doing, but… still. It’s a what if for both ways.”

“I think we should also consider the motive some more still. I mean, the memories are pretty damn crucial since they have been making people act super fucked up emotionally after they aired. While the motive for someone who didn’t have their memory blasted is clear, someone who did, which two of the suspects are…. Why? What would be the purpose??”

“Figuring out a why could be good, on top of everything else.” There, Shin grumbles. “God this is not fucking easy.”

[shurisneakers]

harmless (vii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, existential crisis, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, lil bit of angst, clint barton being a lil shit

Word count: 3.4k

A/N: hey shoutout to @ugherik for suggesting a spin on the “A PLATYPUS!??!“ [perry puts his hat on] “PERRY THE PLATYPUS!???” thing. i used it in here, it’s a really small part and probably missable but i tried!! also i like the next chapter better than this one, i just wanted to put this here so it doesn’t seem abrupt <3333

here’s

my ko-fi

if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Bucky can’t stop staring at the mirror.

He wishes it was for narcissistic purposes. He had enough reason for it to be. His age may be a hundred but he had the youthful exuberance of a very drained sixty year old.

But no, it wasn’t because of the steel cut jawline or thousand gigawatt smile.

After last week’s mini-spiral, he does what almost half the videos on TikTok warn him not to do.  

He got a haircut.

Everyone’s reaction stopped him from following it up with an ear piercing, but he can’t confidently say he didn’t at least consider it once. Maybe a neck tattoo. 

He pulls at a lock of hair. It’s not even longer than his finger.

What did he do-

“It’s just a haircut, man,” he says to no one in particular, almost like he’s trying to reassure himself.

He runs his hands through his hair. It takes lesser time than he was used to.

Steve had told him he looked good. But then again, Steve wore a fugly costume 90% of the time, what did he know?

Clint acknowledged it and didn’t outright call him ugly, which he supposed was a compliment. Wanda simply smiled at him.

“FRIDAY?” he reaches out.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” comes the automated reply.

“How are you?” It took him some getting used to her, given that she was constantly listening to everything, and in general seemed to go against the universal idea of privacy. 

But his therapist told him he needed to form friendships. 

She didn’t mention it had to be human ones.

“As good as ever. Is there anything I can help you with?”

He wants to ask her what she thinks of his hair until he realises fashion advice from a faceless AI is a new low for him. Maybe ‘Do you think I should crawl into a pit and die?’ would be more appropriate. 

“Never mind,” he dismisses instead. “Any messages for today?”

“A reminder to buy a harder bed because you can’t keep sleeping on the floor.” Ah, that was on Sam’s recommendation three months ago, but he wasn’t going to stop any time soon. “And a text from a contact named Nuisance saying to meet them at the attached location in thirty minutes.”

“Where is the location?”

“The local sports centre.”

“Isn’t that closed today?” 

If he had to go out in public looking like this, maybe he could wear a cap and sunglasses and no one would recognise him. Unfortunately, as he was reminded several times before by anyone with an iota of common sense, it was a stupid disguise. 

Beanie it was, then. Bare minimum. 

“It is, yes.” Fewer citizens to worry about.

“Okay.” He hesitates in front of the mirror again, adjusting the hat on his head. “Thank you, FRIDAY.”

“You’re welcome, Sergeant.”

He stares at the little tuft of hair at the front that refused to stay down no matter how much he shoved it back.

“Come on, man,” he exhales in slight despair. “Whatever.”

____

The lock of the door leading to the pool is easy enough to pick. He can see how you got in without a hitch even though it was closed. 

The deck around the pool was absolutely drenched in water. No one was using it, there was no reason for water to splash out unless it was deliberately kept like this.

He catches sight of you easily, being that you’re the only two people there. You were standing at the end of the hall, head ducked as you scrolled through your phone.

The door closes behind him with a soft thud.

You don’t look up from your mobile when you start talking, “What do you think 6 year olds like?”

Because James Barnes, carbon dated to 1917 and therefore certified young person, would definitely know the answer to this question.

“I don’t know. Lego?”

“Just how much money do you think a teacher makes-”

You stopped mid-sentence, finally lifting your head to catch his eye. He stares back at you, steps faltering when you don’t move.

"Who are you?" you squinted.

What

"It's me," Bucky says, tugging off the dumb beanie and using it to gesture vaguely towards himself. Fuck, he shouldn’t have worn it, it was ridiculous anyway-

"You sound like him..." You narrow your eyes. “You don't look like him.”

Great

He rolls his eyes before putting on a mock scowl. Can't have Bucky Barnes without a sense of eternal disgruntlement.

"Oh hey, that is you." You grin. "You got a haircut."

“I did.” He suddenly feels the awkwardness increase. His fingers fidget with the beanie.

“Nice.” You nod in acknowledgement.

He wants to hit himself at the words that just spill out before he could think about it. “You hate it.”

“I never said that,” you snort. “And since when does my opinion matter?”

“It doesn’t.” But now he wants to know what you think since he didn’t trust anyone else to tell him honestly.

“Must cut down on time in the shower, huh?”

It did.

He shrugs. He shoves the beanie into his back pocket.

“Was it a crisis haircut?” How did you kno- “Are you going to get bangs next time?”

“Shut up,” he says lamely, a dull burn in his cheeks. 

“I know a place where you can get hair dye for cheap. Not technically FDA approved, but I think purple streaks are a good place to start-”

“What are we doing here?” he interrupts, sighing.

“Skinny dipping. Take off your shirt, Barnes.” 

“Funny,” he says dryly, eyeing your shoes when you straighten up.

Ice skates.

“Fine, pants then.” You don’t make any effort to move from your end so he does, walking closer to you. 

“What are those for?” He doesn’t hide the annoyance from his voice when he points at your feet.

“Oh, these?” You look down at them. “Yeah, I’m going to freeze the pool.”

That seems... mild compared to the shit show you wanted to do last time.

“For?” He halts where he is. 

“’M gonna take my friends ice skating.”

“Is that all?” He wants to make a comment about the fact that you have friends but bites it back.

“Today is just a trial run. Tomorrow I’m gonna go freeze the East River.” There it is.

“The East River is not your personal ice skating rink.”

“Not yet it isn’t.” You lift up a middle finger.

It was too early for you to flip him off, even by your standards.

He raises an eyebrow.

Your face scrunches in confusion. You follow his gaze to your finger. “Oh yeah, no, that’s a freeze ring.”

Only then he notices a ring around the finger. From where he was standing he could make out the blue stone that adorned it.

“Joy.” He rolls up the sleeves of his black bomber jacket. “Let’s get this done with, then.”

“No no, wait.” You hold up your hand and he complies, having nothing to lose anyway. You pull out your phone and press a few buttons before shoving it back into your bag and tossing it aside.

The soft sounds of a piano start playing from a boombox near the corner of the room. A child starts singing following a series of knocks.

His eyebrows furrow. “What the fuck is this?”

“The Frozen soundtrack.” You beam at him. “I thought it was fitting.”

He doesn’t know what that is and at this point, he’s too afraid to ask. He can vaguely make out the lyrics being about a snowman but he isn’t too concerned.

He takes one step forward. You immediately point your fist at the ground in front of him, forcing him to jump back when a blast hits right in front of his shoes. Suddenly he gets why the floor is covered in water.

It sounds like a series of cracks as the water starts freezing over, a layer of ice now separating him and you.  

"You ready?” The mischief was woven in your voice as the blasts continued throughout the deck, effectively turning the entire floor into ice.

Bucky takes a step tentatively forward. Not bad. He takes another. Okay.

The third one is when shit starts to hit the fan. His hands shoot out to hold onto his balance when his footing slips from beneath him.

His Nike sneakers aren’t used to snow. They’re used to well manicured lawns and pavement trips to Starbucks and marble floors of the compound. Not swimming pool decks covered in ice.

He can hear you singing in the distance and every time he looks up you’re a little further away, making sure every inch of space is frozen.

It takes him a while to get over the initial fear of breaking his skull and just move forward swiftly with short steps. A goddamn penguin is what he looked like.

“There you go, you’re getting it,” you chirp as you whiz past him. He reaches out to grab at you, only to miss by an inch. He staggers, arms flapping wildly to regain his stability.

He hears crackling beside him. He gets a second or two to watch ice crystals spread through the water before turning it completely solid. You step onto the now frozen pool, testing your weight with one leg before cautiously getting on.

A triumphant smile emerges on your face. “Awesome.”

He manages to press himself against the wall as a form of support. 

There is no point to this whole thing. He knows this. It’s been well over 6 weeks and there is genuinely no point to this.

He realises it again when he moves from side to side, body erupting into a waddle. 

Why is he doing this. He doesn’t get paid extra. He doesn’t get any kind of compensation. All he gets is more wisecracking geniuses, embarrassment and the mortifying ordeal of getting caught imitating a penguin.

The song changes to a woman singing about doing something for the first time, forcing him to pay attention to it. He hears something about ball room and balls and tunes right back out.

Bucky manages to find his way to the actual pool since that’s where you’re twirling around, opting to land on his mental arm in case things go wrong. He takes a sliding step forward, followed by another. Maybe he can do this. 

“If a 200 pound super soldier can stand on this, I suppose it’s strong enough,” you muse, watching him slip and slide as he tries to invent makeshift ice skating.

Unfortunately, his method doesn’t have any brakes, so while he’s too busy trying to move forward, there’s no way to actually stop. He finds this out very soon when he almost launches himself off the edge of the pool.

Something yanks him backwards and back onto the ice.  

“Honestly, this is utterly useless since you can’t really do anything but it’s the most fun I’ve had all week,” you admit when he goes sliding towards the middle, arms flailing.

“You had to pick fuckin’ ice of all things.” He thinks that maybe he’s getting a hang of this. He can definitely move faster than what he was doing like, 10 minutes ago. It’s not like you were going anywhere, anyway. 

“I like to keep things spicy.”

He stays where he is to glare at you. You mouth the words to the song, watching his every move whenever it interested you. 

Okay, change of plan; a temporary distraction till he figures out how to actually get the ring from you. He settles on skating towards the edge of the rink slowly, taking a step off, slipping almost immediately when his foot comes in contact with the deck. 

“Where are you going?” you yell over the music initially but immediately break into song when it ends in a crescendo.

He takes a knee, lifting his metal arm up before driving it into the ground. It shatters magnificently, leaving small shards of ice at his disposal. 

He picks up one of them, waiting for you to complete your dumb twirl. He takes aim, and-

“Ouch, what the fuck?” You stop your off key singing to rub your shoulder where the ice hit you.

He wordlessly picks up another piece to throw at you, hitting you squarely in the leg.

“Stop that!”

He may not be able to move as fast but he can definitely throw. 

“Give me the ring,” he commands, stretching his arm behind his back before releasing another piece to hit your forearm. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” There’s nowhere you can skate to avoid his stupidly good marksmanship. 

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” He shrugs, breaking another patch of ice to replenish his ammo. “Hand over the ring.”

“Over my dead body,” you shriek when a particularly big piece lands next to your feet. You knew he missed that shot on purpose.

“I feel like I’m finally acting my age,” he says casually, finding your darting about in order to avoid him more fun than he initially thought. “Can’t throw pebbles at meddling kids so this is the next best option. Thanks.” 

“If you acted your age you’d be in a casket, Barnes,” you hissed, finding that skating in zig zags helped your cause, but not by much. “I’d be- you bitch- I’d be more than happy to help you get there.”

You raise your arm, ready to send another blast to freeze the water that was starting to melt around him, hopefully, keep him where he was if it froze around him. 

He flinches. You notice immediately, hand dropping slightly when you realise what it looked like.

“I’m not gonna freeze you,” you say, softer than you intended. From what you knew, he had enough and more experience with that and you weren’t going to contribute to it. 

He swallows thickly, giving himself a little shake of his head as if to jolt him out of his train of thought. 

Another piece of ice hits you in the leg. You let out a string of curses at him.

“The more ice you make, the more I have to throw at you, Y/N.” He waits for you to regain your balance when you nearly take a stumble. 

“Shut up, you’re so immature.”

“Remind me whose plan this was again?” No point waiting for you to regain your balance when you fall over only a few seconds later. 

He gathers a few shards in his beanie, tucking it into his belt like a little makeshift rucksack just in case before venturing out on the main rink again. 

It’s more difficult for you to stand without railings to guide you, giving him enough and more time to make his way towards you, staggering and skidding. 

Both of you looked ridiculous. 

“Stay away, fiend.” 

“Ring first.” He holds his hand out in front of you. He even considered pulling you up if you just made things easier.

Next thing he knows he’s on his ass on the ice beside you. 

“I hate you,” he groans, watching as you inch away from him on your knees.

He doesn’t really have any other options so he shoves aside the humiliation and gets on his knees, using his arms to drag him along the ice.

“For the love of Christ, none of us are winning here. Just give me the ring.”

The bitch from the soundtrack sings about letting it go but he won’t. 

“Never,” you shout, sliding away from him as fast as possible. 

You make use of the fact that the top layer of ice is starting to melt, using the ring to freeze it again. His knees and fingers get stuck as the water freezes over but he has super strength. It barely takes him a second to free himself. 

“Great,” he huffs, just settling down on the ice, ignoring the sting of cold that was spreading through his limbs. Running after you wasn’t going to work; he needed a way to get the ring. 

“You won last time, I’m not letting you win again.”

“Are we seriously keeping score?” He watches as you scramble towards the edge.

“No one likes a loser, Bucky.” You use the pool stair railings to pull yourself up.

“Explain why you have friends then.” He can’t help himself this time. 

“Hardy har har.” You roll your eyes. 

He doesn’t make an effort to move. Instead, when you take a step back into the rink, he raises his arm and pummels it into the ice, just to annoy you. 

The ground damn near shakes, pushing you dangerously towards losing your balance again. 

“Are you crazy?” Your arm shoots out in front of you to keep you from falling headfirst. 

“No.” He does it again. This time there’s a crack in the ice. “I’m just very tired.”

“If the ice breaks we’re both gonna be underwater, you moron!”

“Fine by me.” He shrugs. “Freeze it again. I’ll just find different ways to ruin it for you.”

You glare at him. He raises his arm above his head again.

“Fine! Fine, stop.” You eye him as he lowers his arm. 

He reaches for his stash of ice pieces from earlier, throwing one at your shoulder again.

“Boy, I swear if you don’t stop doing that-” you duck when another one comes at you. You had no idea he could be this annoying. 

It suddenly hits him, like a lightbulb going off in his brain. He wipes his hands off on his jacket, getting on all fours before slowly managing to pick himself up again. 

He looks at you, tilting his head slightly like he was studying you.

“What?” you ask suspiciously, eyeing as he starts inching closer towards you. “What are you thinking?”

It’s like watching a newborn deer stumble its way through the world, albeit more gracefully, until he starts picking up speed. The motherfucker was going to mow you down.

The skates are useful but not so much when an extremely determined bumbling oaf is barrelling towards you, his speed beginning to match yours even without equipment. 

You don’t know why you’re running, you don’t know why he’s chasing after you but when you see the end of the pool you take a sharp left only to have him knock right into you, sending you both sprawling.

You land half on top of him, breaking your fall but it doesn’t stop the very loud groan that escapes your mouth. He’s already in the process of sitting up straight, giving you less time to analyse what just happened.

“What the fuck was that for?” you speak through gritted teeth. “Fuckin’ acting like the both of us have free healthcare.”

“You refused to give up.”

“So your plan was to tackle me like a quarterback?” You threw your hands up.  

“One part of it.” He drags himself to the edge, away from you. 

“There's more to your monkey brained plan?” He doesn’t look at you. The ice around the pool has more or less melted, letting him gain proper footing on the floor before he stands up. 

“Oh, yeah.” He turns to you. “The other’s a trick I stole from Stark.”

Bucky holds up the ring. Your jaw slightly drops, eyes searching your finger for the now missing piece of tech. 

“Suppose that’s two points for me?” 

You’re impressed. You also want to stab him. So you do the next best thing.

“When I imagined you holding a ring in front of me, the circumstances were very different,” you comment.

“Bye, Y/N.” He spins on his heel, not even giving you a second’s worth of reaction. You found it amusing.

He heads towards the door, clothes all wet. He empties out melted ice water from his beanie before stuffing it into his pocket. Just when he’s about to leave, you remember something. 

Do you mean it genuinely or just because it has an effect on him? 

“Just for the record, Barnes, about your hair-” you call out, earning his attention from over his shoulder. “I think you look really good either way.”

The world may never know. 

You swear you can see the corners of his lips quirk upwards before he turns around again. 

He slips on a block of ice, cursing and clenching on to the door to keep him upright, quickly yanking it open and leaving before he has a chance to embarrass himself further.

Smooth.

Next part

[sleepingdeath-light]

Crossover Headcanons | ATLA & TOH [Hunter x Fem!Bender!Reader] (part 2)

Part One | Bonus Scenes

requested by @serenathewolf2

These are written with a female reader in mind and have a general chronology from the reader’s last moments in the world of Owl House with her friends until a short while after the war concludes, so apologies if this gets long!

This isn’t my best work, but I hope that it was at the very least satisfactory.

Note : this is a continuation from my last crossover post and, as such, will reference a lot of what happened there—so I recommend reading them in order. Also my portrayal of these characters is still pretty rocky, so I may rework this in the future.

After spending close to a year there, you’d grown accustomed to your new life in this strange world without bending—though it would only be natural that you’d long for your old life and the friends you’d left behind.

Sure you adored the life you’d made here

You had Luz, Eda and King, who had quickly become your newfound family and home base

Hooty, Ed and Em were incredible sources of entertainment and all liberal with the affection they showed to those they cared about

Amity, Gus and Willow all helped to push you past your limits and hone your bending skills through sparring and critique

And you had Hunter; your partner of just less than three months

Surely, everything was going well and you had long since settled into this unusual landscape and learned to love its inhabitants

But, something was just… missing, somehow

You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, though, out of the fear that you’d jinx the happiness you’d found

So, to distract yourself from these thought you had proposed that you and your friends go for a hike up to the knee and get some sparring done in the one place where they’d have the upper hand—and how could they refuse you when you’d asked so very nicely?

It had been an hour long walk up (Eda refused to clarify why using bending or staffs to get up was a “bad idea” and you were beginning to think that she just enjoyed torturing you all)

But, once you were there you felt an odd sense of peace and calm overcome you as a vaguely familiar light started flickering in the corner of your eye

You were drawn into it, so overwhelmed by the need to investigate that you didn’t hear the others calling after you nor did you acknowledge the feeling of Hunter grasping your arm and trying to shake you out of your trance

Unfortunately, all of this was to no avail as you shuffled forwards and skimmed your fingertips across the surface of the glowing orb

And before you had the time to consider the implications of what you’d done, you and your company were swallowed by an all too familiar white light that left you feeling woozy and unusually warm

When you finally came-to, the first thing you heard was Eda and Lilith arguing in a way you were certain they wouldn’t if they knew any of you were conscious, but the second thing you realised was that you were no longer in the Isles.

Everything was too loud and too bright—and the air was thick with the nauseating scent of smouldering embers

Something that you hadn’t really smelt since you left—that caught your attention

As you started to look around and get your bearings, you caught sight of an animal that was all too familiar to you—and that was currently threatening your poor boyfriend—a juvenile platypus-bear

You were in the earth kingdom and, based on the rising smoke across the horizon, you weren’t too far from a major settlement

If you were to guess, you’d say it was Omashu, if only for your surroundings

You quickly found your way to your feet and ushered everyone away from the local wildlife, reassuring them that they’re harmless if you leave them alone… for the most part, anyway.

Whilst they were hesitant at first, the others did relent and started following you across the stretch of dirt and stone until you came face-to-face with the imposing city walls

Although you were the most familiar with this world, and although they were all confident in your ability to defend yourself, they still walked around you in a defensive manner:

Ed and Em were a few feet in front of you, preparing illusions as Eda and Lilith stood beside them, staffs in hand and ready to act

Luz and Amity were a bit further behind you, their hands locked together as they spoke quietly amongst themselves—and Luz’s other hand dug into her cloak and presumably clutching at one of her many glyphs as her girlfriend kept a vigilant eye on your surroundings

Hooty, who had made his home in Lilith’s backpack, was making half-pleasant chatter with the others whilst you desperately tried to quiet him

King was resting comfortably in his mother’s arms, still knocked out from the journey

And Hunter was, naturally, right by your side, an arm around your waist and a careful eye on your condition to make sure you’re truly alright as you guide them forward

By the time you arrived at the grand city gates, you’d spent more time assuring your friends and partner than anything else and were at a loss for words as the guards almost immediately let you in. The last time you were there, Omashu had been completely overrun with Fire Nation soldiers, yet now it seemed as though none of that had happened at all—the only reminder of the carnage you recalled being the rubble strewn about the self contained kingdom.

You could hear king Bumi before you could see him, the sound followed in short order by the harsh rumbling of the earth shifting beneath your feet as he made his way over to your travelling party—his eyes gleaming with a sharpness and mischief that you’d sparsely seen in others

He greets you warmly, as always, before looking over your companions with a veiled scrutinising gaze, prying about where you went

You try to explain the portal and magic, but you can only rationalise so much before you’re interrupted by the arrival of another familiar face

Surrounded on either side by an array of staff, each carrying an array of scrolls, quills and other resources, Zuko hurries after Bumi calling out about the “agreement” they had made before freezing once he sees you.

When your eyes meet he stills entirely, his arms falling limp by his sides as his mouth falls open into a small “o” shape

He was adorned in expensive, rich fabrics that were themselves accented with deep red gemstones and beads—a far cry from the barely regal robes he was wearing when you left

Just how much had you missed?

As soon as he comes back to his senses, the fire bender all but stumbles over to you, barely acknowledging your companions as he grills you on where you’ve been

“Spirits, (Y/n), do you know how worried we’ve been?”

“When Aang couldn’t find you we thought…”

He doesn’t need to finish before you’re pulling into a tight hug, both of you in tears as your company look on in confusion, endearment and, for your boyfriend, envy

But, in that moment, the world around you both fades as you’re blubbering out a barely coherent explanation between apologies as you both cling to each other—neither sure that the other is truly there and unwilling to let go in case they’re a mirage

But, you didn’t get the chance to go on for long before Eda cut you off with a purposeful cough, asking who your friend was as Hunter moved to place a hand on your waist—sending a sharp glare to the man in front of you.

In that moment it was almost as though a switch was flicked in his head as Zuko took on a much more professional and almost imposing persona, straightening his posture and inspecting the boy at your side, who you made a point to quickly introduce

“Boyfriend? He seems a bit too… aggressive, but if he makes you happy.” His face was screwed up and reluctant for a moment before he brushed him off and turned to address the other witches (and human) around you

Half of you was thankful that two rulers were there to explain your world (as you were still far too shaken up after the shift and after reuniting with one of your closest friends), but you couldn’t help but long for the company of the rest of “Team Avatar”, as you had once coined yourselves

Zuko was calm and collected as he carefully walked your friends through the intricacies of your world, his words deliberate and slow as he observes their reactions: bending, the nations, the genocide and the avatar

Every so often, Bumi or their escorts would interject with more information to paint a more clear image—patient enough to answer their questions (mainly those of Lilith, Luz and Amity) with the honesty and diligence they deserved as you made your way back to the palace at the city centre

By the time you reach the impressive structure, you could have sworn they looked more lost than they did before, whether that was a result of Zuko’s way of speaking or merely an overload of information you couldn’t quite say.

Luz was practically bouncing on her heels as she pestered the two men for more information on bending and their cultures (you’d have thought you were a terrible teacher by how starry-eyed she was) whilst Amity held her hand and allowed herself to admire the Earth Kingdom architecture you’d described to her in the past

(though you could see the way her eyes lit up at the mention of Wan Shi Tong’s library)

Eda and Lilith were attempting to herd the younger members of the group forwards, bickering quietly amongst themselves as the latter tried to prevent her sister from testing whether her magic would work here

“Eda I don’t want to get arrested, we only just got here.” (the younger sister only laughed and brushed off her concerns)

King, who was now awake and aware, was hurrying to keep pace with Zuko and Bumi, loudly insisting that as the ruler of demons they should start consulting with him about these things—that he’s their equal, superior even—whilst Hooty laughed on from his comfortable place on Lilith’s back

Ed and Em were exchanging all manner of choice looks that screamed “untrustworthy” as they muttered amongst themselves—with only the occasional “illusion”, “prank” and “dare” being loud enough for you to decipher

Willow was admiring the nearby flora and fauna, murmuring about how unique and incredible they were beneath her breath as she made occasional notes in the book she carried with her

Gus was engaging Bumi in a debate of wit, half bragging about his own abilities and status as a protege and comparing his prowess to the aged king

Finally, Hunter had stayed glued to your side, one hand on your waist as he kept a close eye on your guides. Every so often he’d press a chaste kiss to your cheek or lean over to you to ask about them before humming in reluctant acknowledgement at your responses (much to your mixed amusement and annoyance)

After a solid few minutes of walking and talking, you were finally welcomed into the castle’s grand halls—themselves bustling with activity in the lead up to what Bumi had called “the celebration to end all celebrations”. But only one thing caught your eye as you bolted forwards away from your friends.

“Aang! Katara! Over here!”

You didn’t get much farther before you were all but tackled into a tight hug by the young avatar and his waterbending master, both in tears (of joy or shock, you couldn’t exactly tell)

You’re immediately bombarded by the two

Aang, who was sniffling and sobbing as he nuzzled his face into your neck repeating himself over and over again “you’re here”, “you’re alive”, “spirits, you’re actually alive”

Katara who was tightly gripping your shoulders as she glared at you through her tears as she tries to be stern, asking you “where on earth were you?”, “why did you leave” before finally breaking and murmuring about how they all thought you were dead

You can only hug them and apologise, promising an explanation as you tried to stifle your own sobs, gesturing back to your company and recalling how they saved you

How they love you

How you love them… Hunter

By the look in Katara’s eyes you could tell that you weren’t going to hear the end of that, but you didn’t even care

You were just so happy to be home

They were as welcoming as always, greeting them with open arms and teary eyes; willing to answer whatever questions they may have (and tease them like old friends, even). Aang offered to go and get the others, but Bumi shut him down and went in his place, insisting you all had a lot of catching up to do.

Almost immediately, Aang and Luz clicked, mirroring one another’s unbridled enthusiasm and kindness to the world as they began bonding over similar struggles and world views

Amity and Katara started discussing the merits of magic compared to bending, sharing their passion for learning and discussing a time when they could spar with one another

After a bit of coaxing on your part, Hunter and Zuko struck up a polite conversation about their lives in the Isles versus the Fire Nation, soon starting to find a reluctant kinship in one another with your prompting—eventually beginning to discuss topics beyond you and their respective magics

Eda and Lilith, meanwhile, we’re attempting to keep the twins under control whilst Willow and Gus asked you what you knew about Omashu; plant life, fauna, culture, history. anything and everything that came to mind

This chatter only stopped with the entrance of the final three members of your small group

Suki, who Amity and Willow quickly gravitated towards after all of the stories you’d told about her strength and capability as a warrior as well as her kindness and intellect as a friend (and who greeted them with a warm smile)

Sokka, who quickly caught the interest of the twins—who quickly took to bugging him about the battles they’d heard that he’d taken part in as well as the various uses of his inventions (which he was all to brag about)

And Toph, who’s renowned strength and laidback attitude had gained the attention of Luz and Gus, who were quick to inquire about her training, techniques and strength (which she was all too happy to demonstrate)

Though, of course, their introductions only took place after the trio gave you a very warm and bruising welcome that sent you crashing to the floor in an emotional, painful heap of limbs and metal (spirits, Toph)

It took about a week for everyone to start to settle in and grow accustomed to their new environment, as well as their new company. However, some adapted much quicker than others, which led to a few rather awkward situations… including a mislead attempt at pranking the Blind Bandit after just under a month spent under the hospitality of King Bumi:

Whilst Ed and Em were talented illusionists and very capable people, it was only natural that their need to fool others would eventually culminate in something like this

You and Toph were sparring in the courtyard at her insistence (“you need to keep your skills sharp, petal, the war may be over but there are still threats out there—you know?”), meaning you were both far too distracted to pay much attention to your general surroundings

So, when the twins cast the mirage of a charging Appa straight into the middle of your training area—an illusion that left no footsteps or made any noticeable impact on the earth—you were the only one that jumped

When you suddenly let out a sharp scream and dove to one side, Toph’s only reaction was a confused grin as she asked what you were doing

“You’re not that scared of me, are you?”

After you tried to explain what had happened, the earth bender only raised an eyebrow and firmly stated that she would have felt something that heavy before you saw it—and that you were seeing things

A theory which was quickly proved correct when Ed and Em revealed themselves and, with a barely dramatic huff, asked why Toph didn’t even react to their masterful prank

“It was charging right at you! How didn’t you see it?”

Oh

“What is it with you people? I’m blind!” She dramatically tugged at her eyelids before shoving the flustered duo out of the way with a swift movement of earth, muttering about how people always seem to forget that—much to your amusement

It seemed as though everyone would make that mistake with her and it got funnier every time

However much you all loved Omashu, you came to realise that you were starting to overstay your welcome and Aang proposed you all start travelling again—see the world like the good old days but with even more friends with you. And you couldn’t really argue with that; you missed the feeling of flying on Appa and you missed your home. So, off travelling you went.

Your first stop was Ba Sing Se, partially to engage in the rich culture of the Earth Kingdoms and partially to visit the best tea shop in all of the four nations; the Jasmin Dragon

As one would expect, Iroh was overjoyed to see you—welcoming you with a contagious smile and a warm hug before ushering you all in and giving you each a cup of tea on the house (insisting when you tried to repay him, saying that he was just happy you’re safe)

Hunter and Iroh were quick to bond, with the latter seeing a lot of his nephew in your boyfriend and offering an unconditional kindness and warmth that he’d sparsely experienced before (enough to make him tear up as you reassuringly rubbed circles on the back of his hand, encouraging him to open up to the loving father figure of the Gaang)

The others were also quick to ask him about the local culture and his work—with Luz in particular being curious about his title as “Dragon of the West”—all questions that he answered with solemness and grace

[Earth Bender Reader] it was so endearing seeing them all so eager to learn about your culture, being enough to bring tears in your eyes as you explored the various nooks and crannies of the great city, finding new scrolls and explaining the architecture to your found family—even going on small dates with Hunter to popular spots about the city that you recalled frequenting on trips with your family

Though you couldn’t stay there forever and after spending the evening resting and recouping, you made your way through to the Water Tribes—first the South (to visit Sokka and Katara’s home) and then the North (to honour Yue)

Although having to explain how the water really is harmless here, I promise guys, was a particularly interesting if not slightly infuriating experience that you’d rather not recall

[Water Bender Reader] you spent about a week in each tribe and you almost cried when you saw the familiar garb of your tribe again. Every day spent at home was a blessing; eating and sharing your native cuisine with the others, going on evening walks along the water edge with Hunter and helping them learn how to interact with local wildlife (no matter how many times Luz begged Eda to let her keep a penguin seal)

After that you made your way over to the Southern Air Temple (the closest to your designated path) to pay respects to those lost in the genocide and allow Aang to fully explain his culture to the eager witches

[Air Bender Reader] although you yourself were from the (Eastern/Western) temple, just being in an air temple again hit you with waves of mixed sorrow and a feeling of home. Even if everything was under a thick layer of dust and tainted with death there were still hundreds of relics that recalled your people’s way of life—that made you feel seen and feel the love of your fellow air benders once again. For the two weeks you spent there, you could have sworn Hunter stayed closer to you, keeping you in his arms until he was forced to let go as you and Aang solemnly recalled the teachings and history of your culture—relieved to see all of them listening with a shared calmness and air of respect that made your heart swell in spite of the suffocating grief that welled up in the pit of your stomach (that you had almost forgotten during your time away)

The final stop for you all was the Fire Nation, specifically Zuko’s home in the capital where you were all welcomed with fanfare and celebration that King, Luz, Eda and the twins didn’t even attempt to hide their joy at

After giving you a tour of the palace, the Fire Lord was quickly rushed away into a meeting (which he was very apologetic for), leaving you all to your own devices.

Luz and Amity quickly left to explore the rich city centre on a date and you couldn’t help but laugh, hoping that they were prepared for just how spicy the local food could get

Eda and King started to make their way to a guest room, both being too worn out from the journey—and the former looking forward to sleeping in an expensive, comfy bed for once

Lilith (and, by default, Hooty) left to find the library, intent on learning as much as possible about the area and whether bending could be used to cure her curse or at the very least be used as a substitute for the sisters’ waning magic

You didn’t quite see where the twins went, but you were certain it was either to get some food or to wreak havoc on the palace staff with their illusions

Willow and Gus had made their way out to the courtyard to feed and observe the turtleducks—and you could have sworn you heard Gus say something about mimicking them and seeing how they react (not that you had the energy to stop him)

Meanwhile, Hunter had taken your things to a shared guest room and left you to get ready for your planned outing—both of you excited to get out on a proper date for the first time in a while without the fear of getting caught by the Emperor’s Coven

[Fire Bender Reader] most of all, though, you were just happy to be home. Yes, you didn’t live in a palace, but feeling that familiar warmth in the breeze and being surrounded by the architecture you grew up around was enough to bring a tear to your eye. Even better, now there was no crazy royal family to fear—and you couldn’t wait to share it all with Hunter and the rest of your friends. But, most of all, you couldn’t wait to eat some authentic Fire Nation food; you’d gone without fire flakes for so long it should be illegal

Over the course of your time there, it was only natural that you’d bump into some of the locals that you were, unfortunately, more familiar with.

Mei was the first one you saw, and even with Zuko’s reassurances you didn’t really trust her. She was too cold, too strong of a fighter, to let in off the bat

However she did become fast friends with Amity and Luz, two capable fighters who were rather compassionate

And she did offer to train with Hunter, who also seemed to trust her after a while, so you gradually started to lower your walls around her (even if not completely)

After her was Ty Lee, a very energetic new member of the Kyoshi Warriors and the girl who paralysed you that one time (you obviously didn’t hold a grudge about that)

She was much easier to trust as she’d gotten close to Suki shortly after the war, so you had no qualms with introducing her to your friends

Out of everyone, though, she seemed to click the most with Willow and Hunter, the three bonding over a feeling of not belonging and standing out in undesirable ways—an endearing sight, you had to admit

Though she did worm her way into everyone’s hearts quite quickly.

You wouldn’t let anyone into the prison to speak with Ozai, but there were a few messages passed up the chain that were directed at you and Zuko. Not that you got to read them before Lilith or Eda got a hold of them and disposed of the offending parchment before you could voice your protest.

By the third letter, the sisters had lost their patience and insisted on going down to speak with the disgraced Fire Lord personally, refusing to let any guard or witch accompany them

You didn’t know what was said between them, but the moment they emerged was the only time you’d ever feared the Clawthorne sisters—there was murder in their eyes and they refused to acknowledge what had happened

But you never heard from Ozai after that, so you made a point not to complain

The final member of that twisted family you all met was princess Azula, though she seemed significantly calmer and more stable than the last time you’d seen her.

She was as observant as ever as she studied your companions from over her brother’s shoulder, her eyes sharp and her lips turned upwards ever so slightly but she didn’t speak

After all, she was only there to help you all find her mother, so she didn’t need to

That being said, over the course of your journey she did start to trust Luz and Lilith slightly more than the rest of you—or, rather, she looked to them with less distain and didn’t irritate them for her own amusement

Luz for her insistence on treating her as an equal (“no more, no less”) and her endless kindness and patience with her outbursts of anger and her sarcastic commentary

Lilith for the kinship they shared as the overlooked sibling despite their own abilities (Azula in the eyes of her mother and Lilith in the eyes of her sister)

Though she was still quick to mock the others for their shortcomings, which you shut down very quickly with the help of Katara and Zuko (even if the Blight siblings were all quick to bite back with just as much, if not more, venom and sarcasm)

So, although you don’t know if or when you’ll ever be able to return to the Boiling Isles, you were able to make a home with your family, friends and love in your original world. Even inter dimensional travel and the trauma of war couldn’t break you apart and, despite the stress and miscommunication that has arisen from it all, none of you would have it any other way (especially since it allowed you to meet such amazing and loving people in a world you never would have imagined could have existed)

[tenebraevesper]

Sonic the Hedgehog Analyzer, Bad Guys Issue #1: A Few Bad Men

After The Metal Virus Saga has finally ended, we are going to make a little detour once again, covering the Bad Guys Miniseries, starring Dr. Starline, Zavok, Mimic and Rough and Tumble, and their shenanigans. Considering how Starline has become one of my favorite Sonic villains, I am looking forward to this.

We start out some time after the world had been saved by Super Sonic and Super Silver. Starline is at Egg Base Sigma, attempting to take over it by logging in, thinking Eggman is sloppy. Then, the alarm goes off.

Starline panics, realizing that Eggman made sure he couldn’t take over the system with the usual means, and a bunch of Badniks go right after him. Starline decides to use the Warp To- and never mind, he forgot that Eggman took it away from him. He does have one more weapon, the heel spurs on his boots. Honestly, I think this is a really cool weapon for Starline, since a real-life platypus actually has venomous spurs on its hind legs. Starline basically electrocutes the Badniks and runs off after he sees more of them pursuing him.

He is not a fighter, so the most he can do is to use his head. He scolds himself for being so sloppy and assuming the codes would still work, noting how this kind of arrogance was exactly what made Eggman fail and that he has to do better.

We then see him later on at his own repository, lamenting over the fact that he hit a roadblock. He has amassed a substantial reserve of Eggman technology, but he has no way of using it properly. He also glances back at his projects, two tubes with unknown figures inside them (yeah, we know now that those are Surge and Kit, but let’s leave that for later). He notes things would be easier if he had the Warp Topaz and how he lacks the physical prowess to just brute force his way through everything. While he has his heel spurs, he still needs a better way to compete with his enemies. However, he had no way of gathering those resources, circling back to his earlier statement: he’s at a roadblock.

Starline still insists on persevering, noting how Eggman’s obsession with Sonic is the reason why he’ll never advance and decides to conquer the world for him. However, that won’t be easy since he’s no more in Eggman’s good graces and even the Badniks cannot help him due to their limited capabilities, and his personal enforcers (trust me, we will get to these two eventually) cannot be completed without an access to the Egg Base.

Starline notes how he’ll never seek partnership again, adding how he’d be better off with someone who hates both Sonic and Eggman, and then realizes that there is a certain group of people who are exactly what he’s searching for.

Having a plan set, Starline enters Prison Island from Sonic X- *looks down at the notes* No, wait, this is Everhold Prison. Nice reference, tho.

Anyways, Starline enters Everhold Prison, hypnotizing the warden and the guards, and telling the warden how he’s here for a job at the maximum security wing. The warden, having woken up from the hypnosis, is still dazed, explaining how the prisoners are some of the worst they have, as they fought Sonic at some point.

He proceeds to introduce Starline to Mimic (who shape-shifted into the warden in an attempt to mess with their heads and break out), Rough and Tumble (who attempted to take over Barricade Town, again), and Zavok.

In Zavok’s case, Starline points out how it was smart of them to put the Zeti in an archaic cell. If it were a standard cell, Zavok could easily use his powers to break out. Zavok wonders what Starline is up to, exposing him as Eggman’s protegé to the warden, so Starline uses his hypno glove to silence the latter.

Zavok wonders why he hadn’t used this hypnosis ability on the Zeti, but Starline notes how it doesn’t work on those with an iron will. He then proceeds to tell everyone how he had been used by Eggman and how he won’t allow that indignity to stand. He has a plan, noting how together, they can get revenge on Eggman.

Mimic refuses, though. He isn’t a team player, but Starline notes how this is more of a business partnership and how in return, he’ll delete Mimic from Eggman’s data base, so the former would be freed of his surveillance.

As for Rough and Tumble, the two protest at first, since Starline aided Eggman with the Metal Virus and turned them into Zombots, but they are convinced after Starline offers to build weapons for them. In the background, we can see Mimic rolling his eyes.

As for Zavok, things get interesting. Since Starline attempted to enslave the Zeti, there isn’t really anything he can offer to convince Zavok to join him. Starline instead appeals to Zavok’s ego, telling him how he’ll be the leader, not Starline. The platypus calls himself a flunky, noting how he made the mistake following the wrong guy (he is right, but not for the reasons he thinks), praising Zavok for taking command and being an efficient leader.

However, in reality, Starline hopes that he can get revenge on Zavok for the destruction of the Metal Virus by feeding into his ego, giving him everything he wants and then leading him to his own destruction once Starline himself gets what he needs.

Zavok, on the other hand, is well aware that Starline is plotting something, but decides to use him for his own plan to reunite with the other Zeti and end both Eggman and Starline.

They agree and shake on it.

Unfortunately for them, the warden woke up and set off the alarm. Starline uses his heel spurs to knock him out with a neurotoxin and Zavok tells him to hurry up and release him so he can free Mimic.

Let the jail break begin! (And if you’re interested in another kind of jail break, I suggest you to read Scourge: Lock-Down from the Sonic Universe series).

After Zavok is freed, Starline goes to free Rough and Tumble, while Zavok releases Mimic. Mimic shape-shifts into the warden, unlocking the door, while Rough and Tumble throw the real warden into a cell. Warden!Mimic then tricks the guards into getting inside the room, where they get ambushed by Starline and Zavok. As Rough bickers with Starline over the use of the hypno glove (which cannot be used for crowd control), they get surrounded by more guards, which are proceeded to be taken out by Rough and Tumble.

Zavok then uses his ability to take control of the Wispons and they proceed towards the control room, with Mimic scouting for stragglers and keeping the guards confused by shape-shifting into the warden.

The moment the control room is secure, Starline takes over, planning to shut off the alarms, but Zavok has a better idea. He tells Starline to release all prisoners to send the whole facility into chaos.

As everything basically goes to Hell, the guards occupied with the other prisoners, Starline, Zavok, Mimic, Rough and Tumble make their exit; Starline noting how it’s time to do some real damage.

Gotta say, these Bad Guys are quite efficient. Not as chaotic and brutal as Scourge and the Destructix, but very efficient and deadly. I like them and I’m looking forward to see more of their dynamic.

Links:

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#Sonic the Hedgehog Analyzer (Masterlist)

[bitchassbucky]

Highway 63 (Almost-there 2K writing challenge)

On a dusty stretch of highway that connects two cities, a few aged establishments have made themselves part of the land. They say that some days you wouldn’t find anything but boarded-up buildings and old “Do Not Trespass” signs but there will be nights where people find themselves mingling with the patrons. You have to visit on a warm summer night, though. When the moon is shining and the air is light.

There, you would find a Bar that attracts all kinds of people—city folks, locals, people who wanted to disappear amongst the crowd of faces. The building reeks of cigarette smoke and cheap liquor and yet they see groups of people coming in and out, trying to grab a fix of their favorite sin.

Weary travelers often find themselves checking into the Motel, just a few hundred steps away from the infamous Bar. Some rooms are occupied, some things go bump in the night. It makes a decent stopover rather than sleeping in your car.

Patrons love to rave about the Diner near the Motel. The food tastes like home! they say. The booths are aged and yellow, the buzzing overhead lights are dusty and yet it feels familiar—even if it was your first time here.

Venturing further down the road, you’ll find a dilapidated barn. Nature is on its way reclaiming rotten wood posts and rickety doors. Rumors of ghost and unfriendly souls keeps the walls intact; the rusted tractor sits idle on the side.

If you’re lucky, you’ll find yourself driving down the stretch—catching glimpse of faces you’d never see again. The Motel would’ve had its no vacancy sign up, the Bar would be full of people dancing, the beats spilling onto the street. The Diner would’ve been serving pancakes, chicken, and waffles. Pass by the Barn, maybe you’ll see the vines crawling and waving onto the posts.

If you’re luckier, a postcard would be stuck on your windshield, “Welcome to Highway 63!” it would say. Would you take it as an invitation?

—

Welcome to Bitchassbucky’s almost-there 2K writing challenge! With my blog turning 3 years old this June, I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been there since day one. I made lots of friends throughout the years, I even found a bunch of people that I would call my family too.

I’ve decided to take a little break from writing, just until I can find my traction again. Don’t worry, I will be coming back! Hopefully, a better writer.

Anyway, I just really want to thank you for the laughs, for the ugly cries, for the rage, for the keysmashes, and everything in between. You’re always in my heart.

Enough sentiments, let’s get down to business.

Guidelines:

🟪 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. You are responsible for your own media consumption. We don’t exist to babysit you.

🟪 Send me an ask (with your @ if you’re on anon) with the prompt you’d like to take.

🟪 All stories should take place in the Bar, the Motel, the Diner, the Barn, or along the road. Welcome to Highway 63.

🟪 No minimum word count! If your entry goes beyond 500 words, please use the read more tool. All forms of content is welcome: moodboards, playlists, drabbles, one-shots, series, headcanons, etc. are counted as a valid entry.

🟪 To send an entry, mention me @bitchassbucky and @bitchassbucky-afterdark and use the Welcome to Highway 63 tag.

🟪 Marvel/MCU characters are very much preferred. Let me know if you want to write for another character.

🟪 Maximum of two people can take a prompt.

🟪 Warnings, warnings, warnings. Tag your fics appropriately. Dark (noncon, dubcon, etc.) fics are very much welcomed, just tag it. No cross-tagging too.

🟪 NO DEADLINE, we all hate deadlines. KEEP IT COMIN’, FOLKS.

🟪 Hard no-no’s: bathroom play, blood-incest, underage pairings.

🟪 No RPFs (Real Person Fics). Reader inserts or character/character only. OCs are welcomed!

🟪 Let’s keep all entries inclusive, please!

🟪 DO NOT REPOST WORKS OF OTHER PEOPLE.

Prompts under the cut!

Song prompts

You're Gonna Go Far, Kid by The Offspring

Bad To The Bone by George Thorogood

Don't Stop Me Now by Queen

Girls on Film by Duran Duran ( @belladonnabarnes )

Highway to Hell by AC/DC

Precious Love by James Morrison

Sugar for the Pill by Slowdive

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees ( @blackberrybucky for Bucky)

The Boy from NYC by The Ad Libs

Knock On Wood by Amii Stewart

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) by Marvin Gaye ( @buckyblues for Bucky)

MONTERO (Call Me By My Name) by Lil Nas X

Streets by Doja Cat (@luxeavenger)

Tokyo Love Hotel by Rina Sawayama

Lover Boy by Phum Viphurit

Nobody by Mitski

Take Me To Church by MILCK

Curious by Hayley Kiyoko

Line prompts

"Are you sure we're supposed to be here?" // "Are we even allowed in here?" ( @vibraniumqueen for Bucky)

"The GPS fucked up, didn't it?" ( @phant0m-queen for Bucky) ( @uncensored-steve-the-platypus for Steve)

"Drive slower!"

"Not bad [name], not bad."

"Can you shut the fuck up for just one second?!" ( @whoth3hellisbucky for Bucky)

"What did you do?"

"You don't deserve to know me like this."

"Oh, fuck."

"Do you want any advice?" / "If it's from you, then no."

"If you're reading this, I'm dead." ( @buckycuddlebuddy for Bucky)

"Close your eyes, I wanna surprise you." ( @lokiscollar for Bucky) (@drysdale-barnes for Bucky)

"What are you doing here?" / "What are YOU doing HERE?"

"Are you following me?"

"I'm gonna need a drink." (@fuckandfluff for Bucky)

"Keep walking. Just keep walking."

"Hey, I think I saw something back there."

"Come with me!"

"Hand me the car jack."

"We're in Bumfuck, Middle of Nowhere, what do you think?!"

Trope and AU prompts

Biker AU (very on-the-nose, eh?) ( @mxsamwilson for Bucky) ( @thefallenbibliophilequote for a series)

Rom-com AU

College AU ( @babyboibucky for College!Bucky)

Vacation/road trip AU

Band AU ( @hey-its-grey )

Mob/Gang/Criminals AU ( @buckycuddlebuddy for Bucky) ( @xbuchananbarnes for Sam)

Spies AU

Stalker AU

Dystopian AU

Fuck buddies/friends-with-benefits trope ( @whoth3hellisbucky for Bucky)

Found family trope

Mutual pining trope

Idiot x Dumbass trope ( @vibraniumqueen for Bucky)

Amnesia trope

Unreciprocated feelings trope ( @buckyblues for Bucky)

Lovers-to-friends trope

Friends-to-lovers trope

Enjoy yourself and I’ll see you around.

[dracoladon]

Hello lovely! What about est relationship + borrowing clothes? Maybe Draco wearing Harry’s shirts or jumpers? Could be as fluffy or smutty (or both) as you want 💗 - sitp

thank u liv for this lovely prompt. fair warning: buckle your seatbelts for the not one but two sets of parentheses within another set of parentheses.  

i was tragically torn between soft and smutty in this one. we’ve ended up with kind of both and kind of neither — enjoy 😔

explicit(ish), 1389 words 

The first time, Draco takes Harry’s jumper. It’s his, his favourite, knitted by Molly and given to him when he was twenty years old. It’s blue, and has a whale on the front in a deep navy tincture (the noughties were when Molly entered her experimental phase — instead of letters, everyone's Christmas sweater bore some kind of (no offence, Molly, but utterly random) image. Ginny’s had a platypus on it, Percy’s had yew branches up the sleeves, and Ron’s, an impressively detailed Muggle toaster (??) across the chest.) 

Whatever. Logic aside, Harry loves his jumper, and he loves his whale, who Ron dubbed Herbert towards the befuddled, tipsy end of the night. (“Herb for short,” he said, and then collapsed into his eggnog.) He loves that Molly chose it for him, the Warming charms entwined in the wool that feel like her fierce, protective magic against his skin, and the way it’s become loose and pliant with age. 

Unfortunately for Harry (and Herb), Draco likes the jumper too. Likes it so much that he sees fit to employ every Slytherin-y wile in his arsenal to try and steal it. 

“I don’t understand why you covet poor Herb, Draco,” Harry says, when he goes looking for the jumper and finds it missing from it’s drawer again. “I would have thought him nowhere near sophisticated enough for your tastes.”

Draco sniffs and rolls onto his stomach. “I’m sure I haven’t a clue what you’re on about,” he says, and manages to sound lofty even with his face half buried in a pillow. 

* * *

The second time, Harry takes Draco’s tie. It’s a silvery grey one that’s the same colour as his eyes, a custom made gift from Pansy for his last birthday. 

And Potter, the cheeky fuck, has stolen it. A looter, ruthlessly purloined it in an unscrupulous heist, that he’s probably been planning ever since they first started dating, or is it why he even pursued Draco in the first place(?!), just to whisk it away from everything it knows, and—

“That’s quite enough,” Harry says. “And I didn’t take your tie.”

Draco slams his hand down on the kitchen bench. “Lies! Fraudulence!—”

“—I took ransom. You’ll get your tie back when you return my son.”

Well. Well! Draco pretends to dust lint from his sleeve. He says, cooly, “Herbert prefers my company, anyway.”

“He does not.”

* * *

The third time, Draco takes Harry’s Muggle jeans. 

And he’s a ferrety little ferret faced liar, because he’s complained about the jeans in question since the first time he saw them. 

“How did you get the knees so dirty?” Draco said. He looked the picture of aristocratic disdain with his nose all crinkled up like that. “Have you been sucking cock al fresco?”

“We’re coming back to that,” Harry had said (and they did), and then shut Draco up with a nice, long snog when he started on the rips and the faded denim and the fit-so-tragically-loose-I-can’t-even-see-your-arse.

And now Draco is wearing them, slung low on his hips as he shrugs off his coat. 

“You fuck,” Harry says, partially because those are his and Draco is an insufferable hypocrite, and partially (mostly) because the jeans are so big around Draco’s waist that Harry can see the cuspated jut of his hip bones and the little silver ring in his navel. 

Draco looks down, all feigned innocence. He says, “Don’t you think they suit me?”

Harry mutters, “I’ll suit you in a bloody minute,” and pulls him by the wrist towards the men’s, where he sucks him off so hard and fast that Draco bites the crook of his elbow till it bleeds.

* * *

The fourth time, Harry takes Draco’s slippers. And Draco’s feet are cold. 

“Those are mine. Mine,” Draco tells Herbert, looking down at his chest as he shuffles around his cold flat in the thickest socks he could find. 

He knows he’s not exactly a sentient being, but Draco would like to think Herbert looks sympathetic all the same. 

The rugs on his tiled floors are for purposes more aesthetic than comfort — it’s bloody cold in the mornings, and without Harry to tangle his legs around or order to the kitchen so he doesn’t have to brave it himself, he needs. His. Slippers. 

The thing about it that’s most troubling, really, is that, was Draco less of an idiot (Pansy’s words) who had just chosen floorboards for his flat and not mosaic tile (because he lives in Britain and not fucking Madrid, so on,) he probably wouldn’t mind that Harry has pilfered from him yet again. 

Harry’s stopped asking for his jumper back. Or rather, extorting Draco until it’s returned. And Draco’s content in leaving his tie wound around the wrought iron posts of Harry’s bed, and Harry thinks his jeans look better on Draco than they ever did on him. 

It’s hideous, really, because Draco has never even liked sharing (Draco does not share, in fact), but somehow he’s ended up with a wardrobe that’s more Harry’s than it is his, and the black trousers that flatter his arse so brilliantly are gone, and so is the faded Quidditch jersey he only wears when he’s ill. And he doesn’t even mind, because he knows when he goes to Harry’s flat he’ll find it all stuffed into the antique dressing table drawers taken from Sirius’ room at Grimmauld Place, smelling like Harry and his warm, sapid laundry soap. 

Draco says to Herbert, “This is your fault.” 

* * *

This time, Draco takes Harry’s dressing gown. He’s wearing it when he emerges from the bathroom, water still sluicing off the delicate ridge of his nose, off his hair and down his back because he never dries himself properly. (I have sensitive skin. I’ll break out in hives. Harry knows it’s just an excuse to lounge naked on the couch while he “air dries”, but whatever.)

“You’re dripping all over the carpet,” Harry says, leaning on his palms against the door frame of his bedroom.

Draco says, looking around at him, “Ah. My sweet. I was just coming to fetch you.”

“Why?”

“I’ve drawn us a bath,” says Draco.

Harry had planned on making some tea and watching Come Dine With Me, perhaps Floo calling Ron and Hermione to see how the renovations on their flat are coming along. But Draco is all wet and warm and glossy, and smelling like the expensive bubbles he refuses to bathe without.

Harry lets Draco lead him to the bathroom, where the floor is wet with his footprints and the air is thick with perfume and soft, cradling breeze from the cracked open window.

“This is my dressing gown,” Harry says, stepping closer so he can slide it from Draco’s slight shoulders.

Draco reaches for Harry’s flies. “And these are my knickers, you troll,” he says, and hooks his thumbs into the waistband.

Once both disrobed (Harry’s shirt flung over the counter, the pilfered dressing gown puddled on the floor, both of them hard and flushing) they step into the bath. Draco likes the water scalding despite his dainty skin, but he must know Harry prefers not to be boiled alive because it’s just sultry, just warm.

Gold fretted shadows slide over Draco’s face as they settle, legs tangled at the knees, Harry tracing shapes around the delicate knob of Draco’s ankle.

Harry feels elastic in the water, melting with pale, gauzy limbs draped all over him.

“C’mere,” Draco says. “I want to wash your hair.”

When Harry hands him a bottle, he says, “Not with that utter swill. Mine.”

Draco means his shampoo, but Harry knows he means him a little bit, too.

A soft, pleasurable thrill runs through him. Harry loves the smell of Draco’s shampoo. He thinks it smells like wide open spaces, like walking over the crest of a hill. He also thinks it smells a bit like spices, like star anise and cinnamon, and lemon zest and sage. The scent on the bottle reads Cedar, which, okay. Fine.

Draco uncaps it, squeezes a pearlescent puddle into his palm. He sets himself on Harry’s lap, and takes his cock slowly, sweetly, chest to chest, with his fingers twisted in Harry’s hair.

Harry rocks him in the water, his head bowed into Draco’s collar bones as he laves and rinses, soft and soft and slow.

* * *

most important things in my life (in ascending order)

friends 

family

harry being hot for Draco in low slung trousers

draco having a belly button ring that is exposed in said trousers 

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

I've been rewatching all the Loki content to get ready for the new show and I have thought of A Phineas and Ferb AU™ for your viewing pleasure (and if anyone wants to turn any part of this into an actual fanfic I would owe you my life)

this post was brought to you in partnership with @dumbausfromdanville

You know how the first Thor movie ends with Loki yeeting himself off the Bifrost and falling to earth? What if, instead of going after the Tesseract, he falls straight to the Tri-State area?

Jane, Darcy, and Selvig all seemed to be on vacation, right? So Thor presumably took place during the summer — say, perhaps, ending on June 3? So he falls right onto Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster just before it goes down that ♫ three-mile drop straight down ♪. He has no idea wtf is happening so it's not like he gets the chance to sit down and put on a seatbelt, so he's stuck holding on for dear life for the entire rollercoaster ride which Phineas and Ferb find weird but they're not really concerned bc they're chill lil dudes and tbh this isn't too far off a normal day for them.

Phineas and Loki strike up a none-too-pleasant conversation (not that Phineas notices Loki's bad mood; he's too Him to realize not everyone is rainbows and sunshine all day, every day), and our favorite lil disoriented demigod has to figure out where the fuck he is now ("You there. What realm is this?" "Danville 🙂" "Wut da fuk?") and what the fuck he's supposed to do now that he's here.

Phineas ends up inviting him to hang out for the afternoon, and Loki is about to turn him down but then he smells the pie. He's never had doonkleberry pie before so obviously he has to try it. Then, when Loki's no longer hangry, they can hold an actual conversation. It's lowkey more Loki wallowing in his own self-pity than anything else, but Ferb recognizes Asgard when Loki mentions it so he and Phineas piece together that he's a god pretty quickly.

More importantly, though, they figure out that he's completely alone, and because Loki never mentions trying to, you know, murder his brother and lowkey overthrow the monarchy, they just kinda assume Loki's family sucks (Ferb is completely prepared to start the anti-Thor club but Phineas stops him because he doesn't want his brother to get struck by lightning) and adopt him (without his consent, but it's not like he has anywhere else to be -- and he did like that pie).

Loki has no desire to build anything with the boys He thinks the idea of a backyard beach they make the next morning is stupid — even more stupid than a regular beach, and that's saying something. But over time, he gets more involved -- not just with the boys, but with the entire family. He helps the boys build their inventions. He talks about human history with Lawrence and corrects much of his knowledge on mythology. He lets Linda teach him how to bake seriously, her pies are so good. He even suffers through Candace's mall trips as long as he gets to go to that fro-yo place on the second floor (though he draws the line at any conversation involving romance).

He's still a little skeptical of the platypus (and he feels like the platypus is a little skeptical of him, too) but Phineas insists that he's "just a platypus" and he "doesn't do much." Loki doesn't realize that Perry's keeping an eye on him for OWCA, nor does he know that Monogram has absolutely no idea what to make of the dude so he hasn't actually told any of his superiors about him. As far as the government is concerned, after the fiasco in New Mexico, Loki just disappeared.

This makes it fucking hilarious when the boys accidentally steal the superheroes' powers in Mission: Marvel and the superheroes show up at the Flynn-Fletchers' front door only to see fucking Loki. Loki just shuts the door in their faces without a word because what the fuck?, but eventually Phineas and Ferb go check the door and they agree to help the heroes (much to Loki's chagrin), which, of course, isn't complete with Candace fangirling over them (also much to Loki's chagrin; she never fangirled over him). At first the Avengers are fully convinced that Loki is responsible for stealing their powers, and Loki never actually denies it because he's a little shit but Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are very insistent that Loki didn't do anything (except a little bit of manual labor putting together the satellites because they're 10 and he's a whole-ass demigod).

At some point, Thor and Loki have a very heated discussion about the events of Thor, and it's pretty much all news to the Flynn-Fletchers and their friends. They're not really sure what to make of it so they basically glue their mouths shut and watch it all play out. I'd like to think it goes something like it does in The Avengers and that a) Thor is pissed because what the fuck have you been up to Loki you fucking dumbass, b) Thor has been in mourning since Loki yeeted himself into the abyss and he wants to make sure the guy knows it, and c) Loki does not take it seriously at all he's being antagonistic the entire time because he is so sick of Mr. High-And-Mighty's shit. In the end, Loki storms out of the SHEDquarters and Phineas doesn't even think to try to stop him until he's halfway out the door and it's too late.

He shows up again when Phineas, Ferb, and the Avengers try to fight the bad guys in the mall with the wrong powers and he basically singlehandedly saves their asses until superhero Perry shows up. As everyone's favorite shapeshifter, he has absolutely no problem figuring out that this beaver duck dude is the Flynn-Fletchers' platypus. He has no idea what to do with that information, but it sure is information that he now has apparently. (At this point, poor Loki has a very warped sense of what earth is supposed to be like lmao).

Phineas tries to get Loki to come back with them after superhero Perry grabs them and carries them home. Instead, Loki cuts himself loose and falls like 30 feet straight down (and tbh after falling from the Bifrost, that's nothing to him) and peaces the fuck out.

Loki ends up accidentally bonding with Candace and Isabella over feeling useless and unwanted (and he absolutely gets his own verse in Only Trying to Help because it's what he deserves), but unlike the two girls who are hell-bent on changing that, Loki is content wallowing in his own self-pity. He's tried this whole "being important" thing before and he ended up in self-exile for it. He's not putting himself through it again because he really doesn't expect it to end well. But then the powerless heroes decide to face the villains again, and with Candace and Isabella in space and Perry nowhere to be seen, he realizes it is once again up to him to keep the tri-state area safe (which he knows is a stupid priority but he's gotten kind of attached to these stupid little humans and he wants to keep them safe).

Then the heroes get their powers back and they join Loki (and Perry and the mysterious waffle gun in the sky) and beat the shit out of the villains. Thor and Loki work together in the heat of the battle which serves as a Great Bonding Moment™, and once the villains are gone, they have a nice lil heart-to-heart where they both apologize for their past. Thor remarks that Loki seems to have grown a lot over the last couple of months and tries to bring Loki home with him, but Loki refuses. He'll never be welcome back into Asgard, no matter what Thor may say.

But he is welcome with the Flynn-Fletchers, who are completely over the fact that he tried to ruin Thor's life and take his not-so-rightful place on the throne (except Candace who's very skeptical about having him back but it's not like Linda will believe her if she tries to tell her what Thor and Loki talked about so her opinion is unfortunately as irrelevant as it usually is on the show).

And early the next morning, before anyone else is awake, Perry gets an alert that he's needed in his headquarters (presumably to talk to or about Fury). He quietly sneaks off, only to find Loki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. They have a very nice "conversation" (not that Perry speaks) about the superhero Ducky Momo they saw the day before, and Loki assures him that his secret is safe, thus starting a much-needed bromance between Loki and Perry because it's what my babies, goddammit!

Anyways yeah if anyone wants to write a fanfic about Loki hanging out with Phineas and Ferb during his self-exile I would give you a socially distant high-five because I want to read it but I have too many other fanfics on my plate to start this one for at least a few months. It doesn't have to follow this prompt literally at all (I swear I wasn't trying to get this in-depth with it but this is what I do apparently) or it can follow this prompt exactly idc i just want a PnF/Loki fanfic 🥺

[cantdanceflynn]

I did the writing! Tada! Yes it’s camp camp, yes it relies too heavily on my own personal hcs, and yes it feels like it’s supposed to be animated instead. But also I’m really really proud of it bc its the first time I’ve written in ages and I think it’s good. So :D

One quiet, quiet night, at Camp Campbell, a young magician was sitting on his cot, fiddling with a mirror. It had been a little over a week since the Convergence, and frankly, Harrison had it on his mind more than ever. That octopus…… thing, whatever it was, knew his brother? His brother was alive? But, more than anything, he was worried. What if he couldn’t bring him back? What if he did but he messed something up? He’d done it before! At least when he thought his brother was gone for good, he didn’t have to think about that possibility. And he still didn’t know what was going on with his eyes. He got up, glancing over at Nerris as he left the tent. She was still asleep, but she wasn’t the heaviest sleeper, especially recently, so he needed to be quiet. She’d been questioning his tiredness recently, and he didn’t want her worried about him. She worried about him too much for someone she was rivals with anyways.

He quietly and carefully stepped out of the tent, and looked up at the moon. The sky was surprisingly clear this night, although it was growing lighter, and he could see it was a……. waxing gibbous? He was pretty sure that was right. He’d ask Nerris if she was in a good mood in the morning and if she wasn’t too questioning. But looking at it freaked him out after a moment. Part of him expected it to start glowing like it had during the Convergence, even if that wasn’t likely. Even if it wasn’t even possible. Not without the chant. He took a big sigh, and glanced in the mirror. He could only stand looking at his reflection for a split second, but it just confirmed the same thing he hoped he’d been imagining for the past week. His eyes had changed. His eyes were blue.

Not a normal blue, and definitely not the hazel they’d been inside the tent. A light, glowing blue. The blue of the ultra moon.  His mind flashed back to the first time he’d noticed it. He’d woken up alone, something that didn’t usually happen, especially with Nerris. He’d gone out to try and find her, but going to Preston’s tent first was a…….. bad idea. Preston had left a mirror outside his tent, and he was unlucky enough to look in it. He’d panicked, and tried going to David and Gwen, the only people who might have understood, or at least listened. But Campbell and all the other campers were there. The best he could come up with quickly as to why he was awake was “woke up alone and got scared”. It wasn’t a lie, but it was an understatement.

He didn’t know what it meant, but it scared him. More than he wanted to admit. He crouched, putting the mirror on the ground, being careful not to look at it, before sitting on the ground. He knew trying to sleep would just give him nightmares, and he didn’t want to risk waking up Nerris by going back in at the moment, so he stayed there. Besides, it wouldn’t be that long until daylight. Until he heard something. A familiar, loud, overdramatic voice. Shit, that was right. Preston had started waking up earlier, to do his rehearsals when people wouldn’t be as “bothered” by them. And based on the volume, he was approaching their tent. No one else had been, or really should be, considering how many activities they did each day, awake around this time. He wasn’t exactly ready to talk with him about recent events. Especially not considering Preston’s recent situation and ensuing play. He wanted to go back in the tent, but based on the sound of Nerris falling out of her cot in surprise at Preston’s voice, it was a little too late. So he stood up quickly, and ran for the forest.

It took him minutes of running through an oddly dark forest blindly for him to realize just how stupid he was being. Like, genuinely stupid. He’d gotten emotional when he was sleep-deprived before, but never to this extent. He could have probably slipped back into the tent before Nerris got her glasses on, and just pretended to sleep until Preston left the area. No one would have noticed anything, and it would have been fine. Now she would figure out why he’d been so tired lately. And if Preston had seen him, they might even be trying to find him. And now he was lost to boot. Lovely. He stomped his foot on the ground in frustration. Why did he always do this? Why could he never be reasonable? He’d gotten lost before, but never at night, and never this far in the woods. He sighed, pushing it down. The most important thing was getting somewhere safe for the next couple hours until it was properly morning, instead of a dark grey sky with fading stars and a lowering moon. That’s what David had said in most of his mandatory “camps”.

A few minutes of walking later, he was tired, and he hadn’t even walked all that far. But he was still lost. And that wasn’t a surprise. Almost everyone here hated the woods. And if no one had seen, they might not even try checking the woods. He could be lost here for ages. That thought was terrifying enough to make him consider using his magic. But when he was this worried? He remembered the single card he’d tried to make appear, and how it turned into a huge mess he’d barely been able to clean up before anyone else woke up. That was a no go. He’d probably burn up the entire forest, or start the volcano back up. Or make the forest homicidal again. And if they’d actually come after him? He shuddered.

If he used his magic while he was like this, well… That would be disastrous. Besides that, he really didn’t want to do anything that could potentially get him stuck here in the woods forever or hurt anyone. He didn’t know what he could do like this. So he continued to walk. Hopefully none of the animals David had warned them about would attack him. Bears, wolves, the platypus on a bad day. The trees were too thick to see the moon at all at this point, but he knew his eyes were still glowing. When he held his hand up to his face, there was light blue light still on it. Still dangerous, and still lost with no clue if anyone would find him.  

And then he heard their voices. That theatrical voice, this time with a worried tinge. And that all too familiar lisped condescending voice. Except it was oddly worried as well.

“Are you sure you saw him run this way?”

“OF COURSE I AM! He ran off this way!”

For a second there was a glimpse of hope. They were trying to find him! They cared! Then it hit him. He was only hearing them. Just Nerris and Preston. And that’s all the more reason for him to be scared. It was just them! They were getting themselves lost too! He didn’t want to tell them what he was seeing, what he dealt with, what he did, and he didn’t want to hurt them. That’s why he’d ran away! And now they were going to get themselves lost or hurt, or both, or worse! What was he even supposed to do here? Go towards them and explain everything? He didn’t want to do that. They’d hate him. But if he ran away, they’d all just get more lost. And it’d be his fault. He stood still, trying to figure out what to do. And then his magic decided to make that choice for him.

His hat started floating and he tried to reach, and pull it down. More things around him started floating. Little stones, twigs, all glowing and floating. To the point where it was very much visible. In that moment he heard a noise from behind him. One that sounded a lot like footsteps. With no better options regarding the whole situation, he turned around slowly, his eyes still glowing, brighter than ever. And staring at him were Nerris and Preston. Their blue and golden eyes stared right into his glowing icy blue ones, as debris floated all around the dark area.

He stuttered, trying to explain the situation.

“I-I-I……….”

He couldn’t get anything else out. He stepped back, something that seemed to snap them out of their standstill. Nerris stepped forwards first, her eyes flicking around the clearing. Preston followed, staying quiet for once, also looking around. He stepped backwards again, bumping past more floating sticks and pebbles. He kept panicking. They knew now just what he could properly do. And if he couldn’t gain control of his feelings, he’d set something off, or hurt them, or… or…… With every step he took back, a small rumble grew in the background of the scene. Nerris and Preston kept approaching him, a…… new. Was that the right word? New. Look in their eyes. He didn’t know how to describe it. It wasn’t the fearful looks he was used to. And it wasn’t sympathetic or faked. It was similar to the looks Nikki used to give him during his magic shows. Awe. It was awe.

And it was also confusion. Confusion at what was happening. But it was mostly confusion at him. He felt his chest tightening at that. He felt anger build inside. Not at them. At himself. For being such a coward. He couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been. How he’d gotten himself into this situation. At least if they were scared of him, they’d leave him alone. They wouldn’t get hurt by his powers, and they wouldn’t disappear. He couldn’t handle that. The rumbling grew louder, and it became clear very quickly that Nerris and Preston could hear it too. Their faces grew more confused and……. scared. And for some reason, one he knew, even though this was what he wanted, he hated it. When his foot came down again, slightly harder than before, the rumbling turned into shaking. The forest began shaking around them, causing Preston to fall over, taking Nerris down with him.

It was hard to understand what was happening, but he knew enough to realize it was his fault. He was doing it. They were going to get hurt and it was all his fault! This was exactly what he was scared of. His hands flew up to the sides of his head, trying to hold it down, as he fell back onto the ground with a thud, making more debris fly around, some of it almost hitting Nerris and Preston. Preston sat up first, and helped Nerris up into a sitting position as she adjusted her glasses. He met their eyes, and somehow, their eyes still weren’t mostly filled with fear.

But instead, they were filled with a mixture between worry, and the same awe. He shook slightly, tears forming in his eyes and, as much as he tried to stop them, running down his face. As much as he didn’t want to, he couldn’t help but speak. Like he couldn’t control himself. “I d….didn’t want you guys to….. to.. get hurt.. b…..by me. A…. and now….. now.. now you w…. will.“ He tried to push the sobs down, but they bubbled up, wracking his body. The shaking started again, and the floating got worse. Bushes started uprooting themselves, full on stones in the ground and the tips of roots all started floating away, and so did Nerris and Preston, flailing at the air and trying to grab onto something.

Both of them looked panicked and terrified, as each movement threw them further into a panic. They couldn’t move while floating, no matter how hard they reached for something, or how fast they tried to control their floating. He couldn’t look at them anymore. He buried his tear stricken face in his knees, shaking and just trying to keep himself from doing anything else, because if he did anything permanent? Just that thought made everything worse. Huge chunks of the earth pulled themselves out of the ground all around him, and the leaves on the trees started floating away too. At this rate, the trees would completely float away. Along with Nerris and Preston. He buried his head even further into his legs, which were almost completely damp from his crying at this point.

And then the ground underneath him started floating too. He tried ignoring it, hoping with all his heart that it would just go back down, that he could just be left alone, that they wouldn’t worry about him ever again. He hated the idea, but it was safe. It was what everyone else had done, and what he deserved. Everything shook, forcing him onto his feet. The piece of ground around him wasn’t exactly big, and he was barely able to keep his balance. Eventually he could stand there without constantly watching his feet. He knew what he would see if he looked up. He could see the glow, ever present, just as he could still feel the tears flowing down his face. He tried to sigh, to let out some fear and frustration, but all that came out was a body wracking sob.  

After a few seconds, he gathered the very last of his courage, and looked up at Nerris and Preston, stuck floating in front of him. They looked like they were desperately trying to move, speak, do something, but his magic had reached a point where they couldn’t even do that. But the looks in their eyes were unmistakable. Fear. Perfect, typical, fear. The safe kind, that would keep them away and alive. Not hurt, not gone possibly forever, not dead. But their eyes hit his, and all that fear morphed into…… pleading. No more awe. No more confusion. Just pleading. They wanted it to be over. And so did he. He turned halfway around, trying not to see that look any longer. He couldn’t stand it. He didn’t want them to be scared of him, it hurt. But it hurt when they weren’t. Because then they’d get hurt. Above the trees, he could see the sun rising. And he knew that they could see it too. They slowly descended as the glow in his eyes faded, leaving them their typical hazel.  

The ground and everything around it settled back into place, leaving the clearing almost the same, minus the things he’d bumped into. Behind him, he heard Nerris and Preston gain their footing, now that the magic had faded. He’d stopped sobbing by this point, but tears were still falling. He waited to hear them run off, scream, say something, do something. But the only noise he could hear was a few birds chirping. He turned around hesitantly, expecting standstill fear on their faces. Instead, all he saw was…….. just them. There wasn’t any fear, or any sympathy. No awe or confusion either. It was just…….. them. Staring at him.  

Eventually Nerris spoke. "Y…you’re ok…… You’re ok, right?” Her tone was just……. worried. She was worried. About him. After everything? Why did she even care to begin with? Preston followed suit, his voice quiet for once and just as worried, with a hint of fear that Harrison no longer cared about in it. “That was……. terrifying. Are you?” Nerris stepped forwards, and reached out to touch him, but paused when she saw him flinch. She took in a shaky breath before reaching out again, patting him on the shoulder. Preston did the same, both clearly trying to comfort him. And all he could do was stare in disbelief.  

They didn’t hate him. Nerris, who he used to antagonize over something he couldn’t even control, and who he’d jab at for nothing. Preston, who he constantly teased for something he couldn’t imagine doing, let alone for as long as he had, and who he’d hurt even after the entire mental breakdown he’d had. And despite that, and despite his magic, they didn’t hate him. Despite what he just did to them. They were worried about him. “W……. why are yo……….u wo……rri…..ed abo…….ut m…..e?” He hadn’t realized how much he was still crying until he heard himself speak. It was a lot. He tried to stop them, but as always, the effort was wasted.

Another sob escaped. And another. Soon, there was nothing he could do to stop or deny it. He was crying more then he ever had before. Nerris and Preston exchanged a look, one he couldn’t read, and wrapped their arms around him. Part of him wanted to pull away. Wanted to make them go away. Wanted to convince them he was too dangerous. Like everyone else he’d really known had. But despite all of that, he found his arms wrapping around them too, as his entire body shook. But even through all the tears, he could still hear Preston’s voice. “Because we’re all your friends.”  

“Obviously!”, Nerris added comfortingly. The only response he could  muster was cut off by his tears, so he just wrapped his arms around them tighter. And they seemed to understand that. Eventually they sank down to the ground, sitting in what could be best described as a hug pile. When he could finally speak through his tears, he couldn’t think of anything to say other then, “Thank you.” It wasn’t shaky or broken like he thought it would be. They both gave him a loose smile.  

“Of course,” Preston said, still quiet. “We’re here for you,” Nerris told him, removing her arms from the mess that their hug pile was. Preston gave him an extra quick squeeze, before doing the same. They sat there for a little bit before Preston spoke again, his voice having regained its theatrical edge, although it was still quiet. “Do you want to talk about it? Gwen’s been trying to help me talk about things more, and it helps. I think it helps anyway. I’m not very good at it.” Nerris gave Preston a much more readable look, one of “not right now”. He’d seen it before. But it took him surprisingly little time to respond.  

“Yeah. I haven’t exactly been attending Gwen’s therapy sessions. For a number of reasons.” He hadn’t noticed until this point, but he was barely crying anymore. Nerris gave him a small nod, clearly listening. “I….. I mean, you saw what I did back there. I can’t really control it that well…….. especially when I’m emotional. Which is most of the time when I don’t sleep.” The looks of sympathetic understanding on their faces gave him a little more confidence. “And you were there at the Parent’s day show. You saw my parents, right?” Preston nodded, as Nerris’ shoulders slumped and she rubbed her arm. He’d been too open. Shit. He shrunk in on himself, something that they immediately noticed.  

“Hey…. It’s not your fault they’re like that. We should have noticed sooner.” Nerris was trying her best to make him feel better, he knew that, but her wording just hurt more. At this point he didn’t have the energy to cry anymore, so he settled for curling in on himself more. The two got closer, Nerris draping her cape over him and Preston rubbing his back before speaking. “Gwen says if it hurts too much, you don’t have to talk about it.” Harrison sighed. “I…. I do want to talk about it. But I haven’t before, and it………. definitely hurts. And it really is my fault.”  

Nerris seemed lost in thought for a little bit, before speaking. “Well, considering you’re talking to the elf who plays Dnd with her stuffed animals, I don’t think you have to worry about us judging you?” Her tone was oddly reassuring. Preston joined in. “Exactly! I put on plays that everyone hates all the time! How are we going to judge you?” His shoulders sunk at that. “Exactly. I’m a terrible friend. I tease you about your larping all the time, and I didn’t even try to support any of your plays." Nerris sighed. "Well, yeah, it used to hurt, but everyone did it, and either way, you haven’t really been doing it recently. And we’re still friends. And….. I’m sorry too. I did the same to Preston.” Preston had looked more hurt after Harrison had finished speaking, but he perked up at Nerris’ apology. He didn’t say anything but the thankful smile was good enough for Nerris. And he decided to take it as enough too. He sighed.

“What happened was……….. bad. Very bad. If I could change the past, I would. I wish I could, honestly. I’m here to make things reappear because I made someone disappear.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. Any other time, and at the very least, this would have gone smoother. But right now, he didn’t think he had that option. “My brother.” He didn’t expect them to leave. They wouldn’t do that. He’d figured that out by now. But he wasn’t surprised when Nerris drew in a sharp breath, and Preston’s eyes flickered away.  He sighed, managing not to cry through a combination of already having cried so much and being too tired. They sat there, all of them thinking, for at the very least five minutes. It felt like longer. He could practically see the gears turning in their brains.

Eventually Nerris spoke. “That………. explains a…………… lot. Do you want to just…………………… leave it at that?” Her tone was worried, in more ways then one. He reluctantly nodded. He’d already told them more then he’d told basically anyone else besides his parents. Preston kept quiet. After this entire situation, Harrison wondered if he’d ever be quiet again. Then, another thought crossed his mind. “How are we getting back to camp? Aren’t we kind of lost out here?” Nerris let out a small chuckle at that. “Yeah, because Nikki doesn’t have your scent down flat from her time as your apprentice. We should just stay here. We’ll be fine.”  

He let out a small smile at that. They’d be fine. “We’ll be fine.” He repeated it to himself, looking up. Even though the trees were still thick, he could see that the sun was definitely properly up by now. He really was tired. He yawned, more for effect then anything else, and decided he might as well get as little sleep as he was getting on the ground. He must have been more tired than he thought, because as Nerris and Preston did the same next to him, he didn’t even try protesting.  

A few hours later, Nikki lead the rest of the camp to a sleeping trio. If they had been awake, they would have heard the multiple sighs of relief, and the few mutterings of “thank goodness” or “they’re safe”, few being quite literal. They would have seen the worried looks turn into feigned annoyance or apathy or just happiness. But as it stood, they would wake up together at about two, and go about their normal activities, glancing at each other every time they crossed paths. No one asked them about what had happened, and they were grateful for that. But Harrison just slept in his tent that night, and within a week, Preston had moved his bed and some of his stuff in the tent. And for some reason that no one else would get for a very long time, there weren’t any complaints.

[lovelyirony]

@rhodee for you

When Tony had gotten back from Siberia, he hadn’t been able to see anyone for a long time. 

But people had been to see him. 

He wasn’t expecting Rhodey to come and see him for a variety of medically-related reasons, but he was hoping for an email or a phone call, at least a message about Tony being a “dumbass.” 

And then he asked Pepper how Rhodey was doing, and she tenses up. 

Pepper has never been a good liar to Tony, not since they got drunk together for the first time and she told him every single tell she had for lying. They could never hide from each other after that. 

“He’s...knocked out, still.” 

Tony raises his eyebrows. 

“So, he’s not knocked out, something happened to him.” 

“Tony, he...he doesn’t remember.” 

“What, the fall? I wish I couldn’t remember that either, but I’m betting that that’s not what you’re talking about.” 

“He doesn’t remember any of us. He doesn’t remember anything except for his freshman year of college. All of this information is...overwhelming for him.” 

Tony freezes. 

He and Rhodey didn’t live together freshman year. Hell, they didn’t even know each other freshman year. They became sort-of-friends near the beginning of sophomore year, and that meant... 

Oh god.

Rhodey wouldn’t remember three important things: 

1.) He’s bisexual.

2.) He’s an accomplished man who has achieved much in his lifetime and has grown comfortable with himself with years of help.

3.) He married Tony. They’re married. 

For a long time, Rhodey didn’t really want to admit that he liked guys. It wasn’t something he ever talked about, nothing he ever wanted to discuss. He didn’t mind that Tony had an attraction to men, but he always seemed to put himself at a distance when Tony brought someone over for dinner or a study session. 

Rhodey didn’t want to come to terms with it at first. He was very adamant that he would marry a nice girl and settle down, and Tony hadn’t contested it, hadn’t challenged him on it. That could have very well been the situation. 

It wasn’t until the end of sophomore year--into the summer, actually--that Rhodey even wanted to tempt to talk about what attraction would even mean for him. 

They had gotten together senior year, and Tony has a picture framed in their bedroom of Tony dipping Rhodey into a kiss (and dropping him after the picture was taken) after graduation. 

“They had to take off his wedding ring for the surgery, but I wasn’t sure what to tell him. The doctors said to avoid bringing up any information that would surprise them, and I remember that you talked about it once...” 

“Yeah,” Tony says thickly, his chest hurting from more than just a frisbee-toss gone wrong. “Okay. Yeah. Let’s, uh...let’s just transfer him over to the headquarters. I’ll just...I’ll figure something out.” 

He can’t tell Rhodey he has a husband. He can’t. The reaction alone would be terrible, if he’s knowing what he knows. 

-

So he doesn’t. 

Tony welcomes Rhodey into the compound after taking down every single romantic photo, briefing everyone who still lived there that Rhodey had lost his memory, and praying to whoever would listen that Rhodey didn’t find out until he was comfortable with it. 

“I don’t go by Rhodey,” was the first thing off of his lips. Not a hello, not a smile. “I go by Jim.” 

“Right,” Tony says, smiling in that flashy way that Rhodey usually told him to stop, because it creeped him out because he knew what that smile was actually all about. “Jim. Nice to see you back.” 

“I wish I could say the same, but I’m not exactly sure I remember you. Your face looks really familiar, though.” 

“Well, that’s what nearly twenty-five years of knowledge can do to somebody,” Tony says quickly. “Let me show you to your room. Sorry about the lack of decorations, we didn’t really want to overwhelm you with anything.” 

“I’m fine,” Rhodey says, clearly annoyed. “It’s just weird knowing that I’m way fucking older and apparently I graduated college and managed to make something of myself and I can’t remember any of it.” 

“I can’t say I understand, but I can say that it sucks,” Tony says. “But, lucky for you, I kept some of your stuff.” 

“A friend kept my stuff?” Rhodey asks. “Why?” 

“Because I’m annoying and you pretend like you hate me, when I am the best thing that happened to you,” Tony says, smiling. 

He then turns when he can see Rhodey’s--Jim’s--expression turn sour. 

“Ah, anyway,” Tony says hurriedly. “You just...keep stuff sometimes.” 

(He’s not going to mention that it’s because they shared an apartment. Or a house. Or a room. Or, on occasion, a bank account.) 

“Dinner is gonna be at seven, feel free to come down,” Tony says, smile wearing thin. 

- 

Jim doesn’t come down. 

Or he did, but he came down early. 

Because he doesn’t want anything to do with Tony. 

“It’ll just take time,” Pepper tells Tony over the phone. “Give him some space.” 

So Tony does. 

But it’s hard giving your amnesiac husband space when you’ve never done it before, not really. 

Tony has always been around Rhodey, always been invading and crawling into his space, and Rhodey really only complained when Tony’s hands would sneak around his chest when the nights were dark and cold. 

Now they’re at a distance, and Tony doesn’t know how to bring up any facts about their life. 

So far, all Jim’s been doing is catching up on history. 

“We fought Captain America?” he asks, gaping at the article about finding Captain Rogers in an iceberg. “Why?” 

“He likes putting his foot in his mouth a lot.” Tony says. “And both sides have been notoriously bad at keeping their cool.” 

“Oh. So we just...I  fought him? Because I’m just friends with you?” 

“Yeah,” Tony says, quite uncomfortable with the insertion of the word “just” in that sentence. 

“...weird.” 

“The future’s crazy, honey-bear.” 

Jim looks up. 

“Why do you call me that?” 

“Call you what?” 

“Honey-bear. It’s weird.” 

“Inside joke we have,” Tony says, chest tightening. “We thought those couples that have the lovey-dovey nicknames were ridiculous.” 

“Oh. Gross.” 

“Yeah, it is,” Tony says. “But kinda funny. One time you called me ‘sugar-tits’.” 

Jim laughs at that one. 

“Oh god, that’s...rough. What else did I call you?” 

Baby. Honey. Love of my life. Darling. 

“Uh...” Tony says, pretending to think. “I think love-muffin was also an option.” 

Jim throws back his head and laughs. 

“How did we...how did we become friends?” 

“Well, it all started with a dining hall and you trying to steal an entire painting without getting caught, and my valiant rescue...” 

“Why do I get the feeling that that’s not true?” 

“Because it isn’t,” Tony grins. “Just making sure your bullshit-detector is working again. It is. We met because we weren’t supposed to be roommates but they fucked up and the rooms filled up, so you dealt with me as best you could.” 

“Oh,” Jim says. “What do we do for fun?”

Go on date nights. Talk about how stupid we were as kids. Debate who asked out who. Cook together. 

“Uh, we used to...shoot hoops.” 

“You don’t seem like a basketball kinda guy,” Jim says. 

“Oh believe me, I wasn’t,” Tony responds with a laugh, “but you were, and you always liked kicking my ass on the court.” 

“Good to know that I can still probably do that,” Jim says, smug and self-satisfied. “Hey, where did Pepper go?” 

“Oh, she’s busy with a contract this week, what do you need?” 

Jim puts his hand on the back of his neck in that nervous habit he always got (that Tony only knew about because every single time he would walk into the room after he realized he liked him in that way, Rhodey would do that). 

“Um, just want to ask her something. About my life.” 

And Tony can’t breathe. 

He doesn’t know and that’s...that’s everything. 

“She’ll be back for dinner,” Tony says. “In the mean time, I’ll be in the lab working on some stuff, feel free to do whatever.” 

“Thanks, man.” 

- 

Pepper stares at Jim, who for so long has been one of her best friends and is now asking if he had anyone who he was involved with romantically. 

“You...what?” 

“Did I have a girlfriend or anything?” Jim asks. “Because, um, it’s going to kind of suck if I didn’t.” 

“You had a girlfriend sophomore year,” she answers carefully. “That lasted for about three months or something. You’d have to ask Tony more about it, he knows more about you than I do.” 

“And you said we’re...friends? We didn’t date?”

“Yeah, we are friends, no we didn’t date,” Pepper says. “We get lunch on Thursdays if you’re in town.” 

“I’m in the army, right?” 

“About to retire, too,” Pepper says with a grin. “You were really happy, you were planning on taking Tony on a trip.” 

“I was?” Jim asks, frowning. “We’re...that close?” 

“Well yeah, you’re-” Pepper pauses for a moment. “You’re best friends. You always like spending time with Tony.” 

“Oh,” Jim says. “Okay.” 

He knows that they’re lying to him. He gets why: if he learns too much, it could cause some sort of damage. And according to Friday, “Colonel Platypus” (whatever the fuck that means) keeps his personal life intensely private. 

He doesn’t know why he’s done that. Why he’s kept everything so private. It’s not because of his military status, he thinks. Unless, of course, they put him on all sorts of secret projects. That could definitely be a thing. 

Tony keeps almost calling him Rhodey. It’s a weird nickname. He doesn’t know why he apparently loves it. It sounds...stupid. Weird. Jim works just fine. 

Pepper also said they were just friends. And she sounds like she means it. And Tony says they’re just friends, but he doesn’t sound like he means it. 

But that doesn’t mean...? 

No. Of course not. There would be pictures and rings and all of that sappy, gross shit that comes with weddings. 

...would there be? 

“Hey Friday?” he asks. 

“Yes, Colonel Rhodes?” 

“Um. Is gay marriage legal?” 

“Yes, Colonel Rhodes, it is. Would you like further articles about the decision?” 

“Uh...sure. I guess.” 

He keeps reading articles (with reading glasses) and learns a lot about what’s been going on. 

He’s just interested, obviously. In current events. 

- 

It’s a week later when he asks Tony about it. 

“So...did you remember the whole legalization of gay marriage thing?” he asks Tony, who pauses at his coffee. “I, um. Read an article where they said you were bi, so I wasn’t sure if you-” 

“No, I am,” Tony says. “I remember it really well. I celebrated well that day.” 

he grinned as he looked at Rhodey, and swore to rent out the entire metropolitan museum of art, just for him. he would do anything for him, anything at all-

Jim looks at him. 

“What did you do to celebrate?” 

“Well, there were quite a lot of people at gay bars. We danced. I drank a glass of champagne. And then we danced again.” 

“Someone was with me?” 

“You were,” Tony says. “You were here when it happened, and it was...it was a good day for us.” 

“I’m not gay though,” Jim says with a frown. 

“Doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate,” Tony says, eyes holding something in them that makes him look like he might cry. “Some people’s triumph can be a momentous occasion.” 

It can the occasion where your marriage is finally recognized everywhere. It’s where you get the iconic photo of mashing cake in your partner’s face, and all of the guests are grinning and you’re happy, and--

Tony shakes himself out of that train of thought. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Jim says. “Just...please tell me that you didn’t get any embarrassing pictures.” 

“Oh I did,” Tony replies, grinning maniacally. “Would you like to see yourself in a feather boa or a flamingo floatie?” 

“Oh my god,” Jim moans, throwing his hands to the dinner table. “No...” 

“You looked a dream, gorgeous,” Tony teases. “And I have the pictures to prove it. I’ll get them out another time, I promised Dum-E that I’d help him pick up his mess.” 

“Who is he?” 

Tony grins. 

“He’s our baby, metaphorically speaking. We built him on a half-drunk, half-dare kind of situation,” Tony says. “He’s a disaster.” 

Jim thinks about it for a moment. “Can I...can I meet him?” 

-

Dum-E hasn’t seen his dad in forever. He’s wheeling around Rhodey, beeping and nearly running over his feet. 

“Great, your return has pushed back any build-up coordination training we did,” Tony scolds, although his tone doesn’t sound serious at all. “Dum-E, your father and I agreed to help clean, although methinks that Jim will be a great surveyor for us.” 

“What’d you spill?” Jim asks. 

“Couple of glass stuff,” Tony says. “He’s been really into stained glass recently, I think he was trying to make his own.” 

“He can think?” 

“Yeah,” Tony says. “His coding, by the way, was like sixty percent you. That’s why he’s so damned stubborn and also why he puts motor oil into smoothies, genius.” 

“Hey, that most definitely was you,” Jim says. “You didn’t grocery shop that day, so I was weak and malnourished.” 

Tony stills. 

“You...remember that?” 

Jim pauses for a moment. 

“You...you were supposed to go grocery shopping and I made a list,” he says, smiling fondly. “And you didn’t take the list because you said you had an eidetic memory, but you still forgot the lemons, so I don’t believe you.” 

Tony throws back his head and laughs. 

“Glad to have a memory for you, Rho-Jim. You want a glass of water or anything?” 

“Water sounds fine.” 

Jim watches as Tony works around Dum-E, obviously used to his quirks and mannerisms as he banters and threatens with nothing backing up that threat. 

He smiles as he wheels himself over, grabbing a dust pan on his way over. 

“Figured we’ll need this,” he offers. Tony accepts it with a smile. 

“Thanks Jim.” 

“You can-you can call me Rhodey. If you want.” 

Tony looks at him for a moment. 

“But is that what you want?” 

Jim pauses. 

“Yes. For now.” 

“Okay,” Tony says, smiling. He’s not showing how fucking happy he is, how ready he is to leap for the moon and bring stardust down on his way home. “Thank you.” 

Jim nods. 

“I think I’m gonna turn in for the night.” 

“Have a goodnight, Jim. Let me know if you need anything.” 

-

He lies awake in bed that night. 

“Hey, Friday?” 

“Yes, Boss?” 

“I...I’m not being told everything, am I?” 

“Information can potentially be triggering to the current state you are in, Colonel Rhodes.” 

“Are you being paid to say that?” 

“I don’t get paid,” Friday says. “Although if I did, I would not want to take the money.” 

“So I am missing something,” Rhodey says. “I just...I don’t know what.” 

“It will come with time, Colonel Rhodes.” 

“And if it doesn’t? If I have to relive life all over again?” He asks, growing agitated. “If my memory doesn’t come back, Friday...I’m not sure they’ll ever tell me anything.” 

“It is already a good sign that you remembered Dum-E. He was missing you quite terribly.” 

“Can I...can you show me a picture of me with him?” 

“Sure thing, Boss.” 

- 

Rhodey has a sharp intake of breath. 

Right there. 

Right on his left hand. 

A wedding ring. 

And then he looks at Tony, Tony who is looking fondly as Rhodey and Dum-E are reenacting some stupid thing, and there’s a-

A ring. 

On the left hand. 

That wasn’t there before. 

Shit.