#since december 29th 2018

[imagine-that-100]

Will We Talk? | Part 1 |

Description: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 13.2k

A/N: Well hello there besties! Alex stannies your time has come again because I’m back and this short series is going to be soooo much fun! This was inspired by a harry fic I read many moons ago and I just knew I needed to do a grumpy Alex fic. I started writing this fic on the 15th of December 2021 so it’s been a long time coming. That being said part 2 isn’t yet finished (blame @nriacc​ lol) but I felt we all needed a new Alex ficccc! Big thank you to the author of the harry fic for the inspiration, and to @red---moon​ and @alovesreading​ for helping me/ keeping me inspired for this one. I would loveeee to know what you all think so please give me your reactions! Just keep an eye out for the time jumps, it goes back and forth quite a bit but I hope it makes sense. Thanks a million for reading, hope you enjoy x

| My Masterlist |  

~*~*~*~ 29th June 2018 ~*~*~*~

Just do it Y/N. Be polite, stop being a child.

Internally, you’re debating pretending that you don’t need another drink and to go back to Katie and Kelly without a new one so you don’t have to suffer what’s bound to be another awful encounter. Alex is standing at the busy bar with his drink in his hand, and you’d think that after 8 years of knowing someone you’d feel comfortable enough to have a chat with them at their best mates birthday party. But no. Not with Alex.

He might just be the grumpiest person you’ve ever met. He’d never once started a conversation with you, it’s always been you making the effort with him since the day you met him.

Truthfully, your tendency to talk a lot more than you should when you’re nervous probably hasn’t helped that. You’d seen interviews of him over the years and it’s clear that he really didn’t like talking to anyone who he wasn’t close to. And you’re not stupid, just because Katie is your best friend doesn’t mean that you’re someone he has to converse with.

Of course over the years you’d seen each other a lot but you’d only had a handful of conversations with him. Frighteningly few of those conversations were just between the two of you, and you were happy with things staying like that.

But this time you’re going to have to brave it. You’d promised Katie you’d grab her another drink along with getting yourself a new one.

The bar is fairly busy with a few people standing around chatting as they wait for their drinks. A few people have been standing there for the majority of the evening in this decently sized function room.

Of course for Jamie’s birthday, and with the band being back off tour for a short break, Katie had thrown her husband an early birthday party because she’s the best wife possibly ever. You’d helped her plan it and sort everything out so she didn’t get too stressed like any best friend would do and you’re so glad everything has gone to plan and Jamie seems to be having a great night.

Equally, you’ve been having a great night too. Getting to see everyone again is fun. You’d not seen Miles for a while nor had you really seen any of the band because they’d been on tour but each time you saw them it was like no time had passed. Miles has always been your favourite to chat to, you think because the both of you are just as chatty as the other so you always feel at ease around him.

You’ve always had a tendency to talk someone's ear off and even more when you’re drinking or nervous. So tonight with you being both tipsy and nervous about seeing Alex standing at the bar, inconveniently for you the only free space being one beside him, you don’t want to go over.

But you need another drink.

Just fucking do it Y/N.

Taking a deep breath you bite the bullet and head over to the empty space at the bar. You’re hoping that you’ll get served immediately but by the looks of the bar staff looking around like headless chickens, you don’t think your prayers have been answered.

Reaching the bar, you put your empty glass back down on the sturdy wooden surface and wait patiently for the bartenders to serve you.

“Hey.” You greet Alex as you turn to face him.

You smile once his eyes meet yours and you see the flicker of recognition in them. You expect a smile or something along those lines from someone you’ve known for almost a decade but no.

All you get from Alex though is a quick, “Hi.” before he glances back towards the rest of the party.

After a second of silence, you have to ask, “How are you?”

“Yeah, good thanks.” Alex smiles before taking a sip of his drink and looking away from you as if he’s searching for someone else to talk to.

Wow, great chat. Why do you actually still bother Y/N?

You make eye contact again and you can feel the tightness in your chest building as if storing up all the shitty conversations you want to blurt out to get rid of the silence. But you also don’t want to annoy him. So you don’t mention anything about the goatee that he’s grown since the last time you saw him. You want to be nice and complement him but you seriously don’t think you can survive the awkwardness of you doing that.

Thankfully you don’t have to think about it for much longer because someone else caught his attention.

Alex’s eyes flicked from yours to someone coming up behind you and you hear a male voice excitedly saying, “Alex, hey!”

A grin comes to the singer's lips then and you watch him as he enthusiastically asks, “Hey man, you alright?”

You've never seen the guy who’s taken Alex's attention before but it seems like they are friends. From Alex’s smile and the way they just shook hands you assume they must be, “Yeah good thanks, where’ve you all come back from?”

“Middle of the month we were in the States, then we went Germany, and we flew back from Denmark yesterday.” Alex explains enthusiastically and you can only imagine him ever being that engaged in a conversation you had with him.

“Christ, and you’re here now.” The guy shakes his head in disbelief, “I don’t know how you do it.”

You tune out of their conversation then and glance back at the bar. You really want your drinks so you can leave before the guy leaves and it gets awkward again.

It’s not that you want to be his best mate or anything close to that, you’d just love not to feel nervous around him all the time. In the beginning the nerves were probably due to you being a fan of the music and you’d never met him before.

Jamie was the most normal person so you didn’t quite believe Katie when she first told you that her boyfriend at the time was in Arctic Monkeys. But then you met him and clearly found she was telling the truth.

You’d met all the band by the end of the year and you got on well with them at various after parties that Katie had dragged you along to in your mid twenties. But Alex has always been quiet and marginally grumpy with you since day one.

Probably your nervous chatter that did it the first time considering he said ‘hi’ to you and nothing else. He just listened to you rambling on until he was pulled away by someone much more important than yourself.

But over the years you got to know him, even if it wasn’t directly through him.

Katie fed you all of her gossip as she thinks of you as her most trusted confidant so when someone in the band annoys her and she can’t show how annoyed she is to Jamie, she’ll have you over for a wine night. So you’re aware of everything that’s just happened between him and Taylor and a certain french bitch.

If he hadn’t have left the French bitch as what she was, a stupid fucking fling, you think Katie may have killed him. She was really close with Taylor and after finding out about the cheating she was round at your house for days trying to yell all her anger away. Obviously she didn’t want to make things more awkward by airing her current murderous feelings towards Alex to Jamie so you’re the one who heard it all.

Of course you disapprove of what he did too. But it’s not your place to have an opinion. You’re just there for Katie. But you have to admit, for Alex’s sake, you’re glad he just left the French girl. Katie would have murdered him if he started seeing her as something more.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by the guy who was talking to Alex accidently bumping your shoulder as he was turning round to head back to whoever he was with. After he apologised and you promised him it was fine, back comes the uncomfortable silence that hangs between you and Alex.

He makes eye contact with you again as he sips on his drink, the smile previous on his lips now gone, and you can feel that you’re about to start nervously chatting to him. So you’re eternally grateful for the voice from behind the bar.

“Hi,” The bartender grabs your attention, “What can I get you?”

Thank you, God.

“Can I get two Amarettos on ice please?” You ask for two of your own drink because you don’t want to come back over if the grumpy fucker beside you is still over here.

The bartender preps the glasses and adds ice before he grabs the bottle of Disaronno and the double ended measure before asking, “Singles or doubles?”

“Doubles please.” You smile and watch as he pours them.

You’re glad he isn’t stingy with his measures because you don’t want to come back for a while, and after pushing the drinks towards you, the bartender asks, “Anything else?”

Smiling, you politely ask, “Can I get a large glass of Montepulciano please?”

“Yeah sure…” You watch as the guy looks around for a second and you know from his irritated expression what’s coming before he even says it. “I’m just going to grab another bottle from the cellar, I’ll be just a minute.”

You smile, “Okay, thank you.” as you can’t even change which wine you’re after because he’s already gone. You feel bad as the guy disappears off but you can feel the nerves bubbling back up inside you.

The silence falls once again, and despite the room being busy and there being a lot of people-watching you could do, you feel like because you’ve known Alex for so long you should be trying to converse with him. You really wish you didn’t care about uncomfortable atmospheres but you can’t really help but avoid it with Alex, you wish you could get over it.

Both of you are awkwardly standing beside each other once more with nothing to say and you can’t stand the stiff air between the both of you. So you end up doing what you do best when tipsy and nervous: You talk.

“I know you don’t like me very much, but I really rate your music and I don’t think I’ve ever told you that.” You begin to nervously digress looking Alex straight in the eye, needing to get rid of the silence between you. You hesitate before oversharing, “I say that, but it took me a long while to get into your new album but I like it now. Think it’s the one I listen to most actually.”

“Right, thanks.” Alex nods, before adding in a little confusion, “At least, I think that was a compliment.”

“Yeah it was.” You nod, your mouth unable to stop from rambling now. “I know my opinion means fuck all in the grand scheme of things but I just thought ‘give credit where it’s due’, right?”

Stop talking Y/N/N, you’re embarrassing yourself.

“Right.” Alex smiles at you, but you can’t help but feel a little stupid under his gaze.

You’ve told Jamie time and time again how you felt about his music, but never once have you felt this awkward about it. It really is just a reaction to Alex at this point because you could tell he just doesn't want to know.

However, just as he looks like he’s about to say something else, probably him finally telling you to leave him alone, you’re saved from whatever it was. Whilst your blundering conversation took place the bartender had returned and had poured Katie’s glass of red and it’s ready and waiting just in front of you.

“That comes to twenty-two all together, please.” The bar man asks and you happily give him your undivided attention as you take a £20 and a £5 note from your purse and hand it over.

“Keep the change.” You smile at the bartender who looks pleased with the tip you’d just given and as you pick up your alcohol carefully you glance back to Alex who’s clearly only watching you because there’s no one else around taking up his time.

He probably wants you to get a move on so he can chat to someone who actually peaks his interest. You half smile at him as you politely say, “Can’t keep the birthday boy’s wife waiting for her drink any longer. See you later.”

“See ya Y/N.” He nods, sounding just as disinterested as when you started the conversation.

Christ. Get me out of here.  

Thankfully for the rest of the night Alex is easily avoidable. Most people want his attention all the time so even if he joins a conversation that you’re involved in, he gets ripped away from it.

Miles keeps you entertained for a good portion of the evening, both of you chatting more as you drink more and more. Closer to the end of the night, Jamie gets up and does a speech thanking everyone for coming and that’s when Alex comes up beside you and Miles.

You just about hear him say to Miles that he’s just paid for a drink for him at the bar and for him to go and choose what he wants and then once again, Alex is left standing beside you with a full beer in his hand as you both listen to Jamie’s short and sweet speech.

Obviously, the guitarist brings up his lovely wife and thanks her for everything. Jamie gives Katie a stunning bunch of flowers which you can instantly tell that she loves, but as he hands the microphone over to her, Alex grabs your attention.

“Why do you think I don’t like you?” You're shocked as you hear that question fall from his lips, but you don’t hesitate to be honest with him.

You’re a little taken aback if you’re honest. He may as well have just shouted it at you because you’re genuinely that shocked by the question despite his voice being just above a whisper.

“Erm,” You swirl your drink around the glass before looking up into his brown eyes, “You never say more than a few words to me whenever I see you.”

Jesus, this is fucking awkward.

You see him frown a little then though, and after a second's thought, he asks, “That makes you think I don’t like you?”

“Well, it doesn’t make me think that you’re overly fond of having a conversation with me.” You say with a little chuckle of disbelief as to why you had to say it outloud. “And you’ve never tried to get to know me like the rest of your friends have and whenever I try with you, I don’t get much of a response.”

“Never intended for it to come across like that.” Alex tells you, and he does look like he feels bad, but it’s not like you’re holding it against him. So you don’t need his, “Sorry.”

All your brain is telling you right now is ‘Avoid confrontation at all costs’. You’re really not equipped to have that conversation with him drunk but you did tell him the truth.

“Don’t be.” You shake your head before looking back at Katie, “It is what it is.”

You can still feel his eyes on you and you’re half sure you hear him say the start of your name but your attention is clearly ripped away from him when Katie say’s your name down the microphone.

“Y/N,” She grins at you gesturing for you to come to her, and you see Jamie now holding a bunch of flowers that turns out to be for you, “Couldn’t have done this without you Hun. I had to get you these.”

You shake your head and go over to thank and hug her, leaving Alex watching after you. He just stays in his head and drinks his drink, silently processing your previous words.

~*~*~*~ January 26th 2018 ~*~*~*~

“Hey!” Jamie shouts as he runs through the front door and quickly starts routing around for whatever it is he’s looking for.

Katie says a surprised, “Hi?” and you can see and hear the distaste that he’s back so early.

Tonight Katie had invited you round once Forrest had gone to bed because Jamie was meant to be out for the evening with the lads. She needed a wind down after a long week of work and looking after her toddler whilst Jamie was away doing PR for the new album.

You’re both half way through your first bottle of red wine as Jamie now comes scurrying into the lounge, almost frantically searching around for something. You find it quite funny too because he definitely hadn’t noticed you sitting in his lounge.

That changes a second later when comes towards you and pulls out the messy drawer on the side table just near you. He smiles quickly, “Hey Y/N, good to see you.”

“And you Jamie” You grin, seeing his wife still waiting for him to announce why he’s intruded on your night in.

After scurrying around the lounge, clearly trying to find whatever it is he’s lost, she asks, “What are you doing back here?”

“I forgot my wallet.”

You’re desperately trying not to laugh at Katie’s silent sigh, or when she lets out an annoyed, “You left the door open J.”

You look towards their door and you can see it’s half open, letting all the precious heat inside their cosy house out. The winter air is absolutely freezing and it’s causing a draft that both you and Katie can feel without coats on.

“Al, you tosser!” Jamie shouts as he continues looking around for his wallet, “Don't wait outside come and help me find it, you prick!”

You can almost hear Alex’s sigh as he steps into the house, “Not my fault you left it here.”

“Alex, please come in and shut the door.” Katie waves him in from her seat, “It’s fucking freezing.”

He sighs a little as he says, “Yes, Miss Cook.” before closing the door and walking into the house with his coat wrapped tightly around him.

He looks like he doesn’t want to be out of his own space, let alone be here. He’s not smiling like he usually is when he sees Katie and he’s practically rolling his eyes watching Jamie run around like a headless chicken.

“Ignore him. He didn’t want to come out at all.” Jamie shakes his head as he walks around the lounge and back around the corner to the hall where he came in and heads past Alex and up the stairs.

Katie continues talking to you about your previous conversation and Alex just stands under the open arch between the hall and the lounge. Or that is until you all hear a loud bang come from upstairs.

A few seconds later all of you hear Jamie make another loud bang and Katie inhales sharply through her nose. Annoyance is bubbling through her system when you all hear him say “Shit.” from upstairs, clearly very loudly.

“He better shut the fuck up or he’s going to wake Forrest up.” Katie looks at you with a death glare that’s definitely meant for her husband.

Katie gets herself up from her seat opposite you and walks past Alex to half mute her voice as she yells, “Jamie!”

“Don’t mind me,” She looks from Alex back to you as she half smiles, “I'm just gonna go kill my husband.”

Alex chuckles at that and you let out a little giggle before taking another sip of your wine as you hear your best friend walk up the stairs. That leaves a silence between you and Alex and one that you’re itching to fill. You hate that it’s always awkward between you both.

After taking another sip of your wine, you politely ask, “How are you?”

“Good, thank you.” Alex nods, walking towards the wood burning fireplace that Katie was lighting when you arrived.

You debate mentioning that his hair is a lot longer since the last time you saw him, but you decide not to. The last thing you want is to make anything more awkward, so you go for something that he’s used to talking a bit more about.

“You enjoying the build up to the album release?” You ask, praying the conversation will being to flow a little easier.

But all you get is a half hearted, “Yeah. It’s been alright so far.” as he crouches by the fire and puts another piece of wood onto it.

“Good good.” You smile despite him not even looking your way.

… And nothing. No follow up question about you, not even a smile.

You’re sure he hates you. There’s absolutely no other possible explanation for why he would make things this uncomfortable for you both if he didn’t. You can’t stand uncomfortable silences which makes you more nervous and the need to chat takes over again.

You’d think that someone who does interviews for a living would know how to make people feel comfortable and you know for a fact that he does. You’ve seen a fair few in your time being their friend, and you’d seen Alex interact with his friends and his fans. You have no idea why he makes life so awkward for you.

You try again, hoping to ease your awkwardness by asking him about something he enjoys.

“How did you find writing this one?” Is the only thing you can come up with that you’re genuinely curious about, “I think Jamie mentioned that you got writer's block or something for a while, is that true or was he bullshitting me? Because you’ve always seemed to write and record really quickly from an outsider's perspective.”

“Yeah,” Alex nods with a sigh, still not even glancing at you, making you wish you never asked, “Was difficult at the beginning, got there in the end.”

Wow.

Amazing.

Enthralling story.

Taking another sip of your drink, the uncomfortable tension feels like it's suffocating you and you’ll do literally anything to ease it. Blabbing on about where they are going seems to be the direction you take.

“Where are you being dragged out tonight? Just to the George and Dragon,” which is about a 2 minute walk from here, “Or are you going into town?”

“Heading into town I think.” Alex stands himself back up and tucks his hands back into his pockets, glancing at you as he walks back to the centre of the lounge.

After taking a sip of your wine, you politely ask, “Anywhere nice?”

“No idea.” He shakes his head.

Smiling, you try to make light of the situation. “You really don’t wanna go, do you?”

“No,” Alex shakes his head, and says under his breath probably not meaning for you to hear, but you do, “I don’t even want to be here.”

To you that’s another way of saying shut the fuck up. Biting your tongue after that is difficult, but it's easier than letting him make you feel like shit again.

After drinking your last mouthful of wine, you get yourself up and out of this uncomfortable situation. You don’t bother telling him where you’re going as you doubt he cares but you’re just thankful that you don’t have to deal with him anymore.

Disappearing to the Cook’s downstairs toilet, you’re glad when you hear Jamie race down the stairs a minute or two later, shouting, “Right Al, come on. Let’s go.”

As you open the door and make your way back round to the hall, you hear Jamie say bye to Katie, followed by Alex politely saying goodbye to Katie. He gives her a hug and his eyes make contact with yours as he slips out, not even nodding a ‘bye’ as he leaves, closing the front door behind him.

“Hiding again?” Katie turns to grin at you, knowing just how uncomfortable you find interactions with Alex after years of the same behaviour.

“He’s so awkward.” You nod laughing, but you’ve got better things to be thinking about tonight. “Come on babes, I need another glass of wine.”

Thank fuck for that.

~*~*~*~ 21st September 2018 ~*~*~*~

“Y/N, Hey!”

“Jamieee.” You grin, walking towards his open arms so you can give him a hug.

You walk into his arms and you appreciate the tight hold he traps you in. As you give him a squeeze, the guitarist says, “Missed seeing you in my house.”

You can’t help but chuckle a little at that. After greeting Nick and Kelly as you walked in with Katie, you couldn’t wait to see Jamie backstage tonight. Matt unfortunately doesn’t seem to be around this communal area just yet but you're grateful for the lead singer's absence.

“Ahh well, I've been there more than you.” You tease him, his tour has been so long it feels like forever since you last saw him, “I’ll be sleeping in your bed next.”

“Surprised you don’t some nights,” Jamie laughs as he releases you from the embrace, “You’re both piss heads.”

You can’t help but laugh and nod. You just end up shrugging, “Well, red wine calls us both.”

Both you and Katie can’t help it. You’re just living your best lives and the wine nights you share are the highlight of your week.

“Thanks for inviting me tonight.” You grin at Jamie.

You’re actually thrilled you’ve been invited to their gig tonight. Them being back home in Sheffield must be awesome for them and the fact that they have four shows back to back at the FlyDSA arena makes you happy too. It’s a proper homecoming. And after a stressful week this is definitely what you needed to let loose a bit.

“Oh, I’m not the one that you need to thank.” Jamie smiles and you think nothing of it, assuming Katie’s told him you have to come.

She usually does that when she’s invited somewhere anyway. She really likes taking you out with her and sometimes out of your comfort zone.

Katie calls you over to the fridge in the communal area where she asks you what you want to start the night off with. You’re shocked as to how much alcohol is in the fridge, there’s got to be at least 30 cans of beer and there’s also wine in there. Bottles of red are left on the side beside it too.

“Fucking hell, I can’t believe they get this much stuff every night.” Your eyes go a little wide seeing the fridge.

Katie laughs at that, “I know they are greedy, I’ll have a route to see what there is.”

You watch her astounded at just how much alcohol is in there. But your attention moves to the scouser who’s just walked through the door.

“Y/N.” Miles calls your name from across the room and you grin when you turn to see him.

“Course they had you come for their home shows.” You laugh, throwing your arms around him.

You adore Miles. He’s been a good friend for a long time and you feel really comfortable around him. Unlike his best friend, Miles seems to listen to what you have to say and he’s interested in it.

It meant that you’d been close for a long while and he always makes an effort to check in with you every month which you love him for. He’s honestly such a good person and you think the world of him.

“I’ve been here the past two days and I’ve been asking for you.” Miles informs you, “I was going to text you but Katie said you were busy?”

“Yeah sorry, I’ve had some planning to do for work and had to see family the last few days.” You shake your head, not wanting to think about all that right now. You grin at Miles, clearing your head, “So glad to be here now.”

“Ooo Y/N/N,” Katie gets your attention and she has a big grin on her face as she tells you, “There's a full bottle of Amaretto in here. Not seen this before.”

“Oooo amazing.” You grin, selfishly loving the fact you won’t have to pay for your own drinks until the after party later.

Miles traps you in another conversation whilst Katie makes you your drink. Before she pours your drink though, she can’t help but wonder why the bottle is there in the first place.

“J?” Katie calls her husband over and when he’s standing beside her, she asks him, “When did you add this to your rider?”

“I didn’t know we did.” Jamie frowns in confusion looking at the bottle of Disaronno. He knows no one in the band drinks it so he asks his wife, “Why? Who drinks it?”

“Y/N does.” Katie tells him, ”It's her favourite.”

“Well, happy days then.” Jamie smiles and shrugs it off, thinking nothing of it.  

Drinks flow for a while after that. Now you’ve had two glasses of your favourite, you really feel like it’s a Friday night and you can finally have a bit of fun.

That thought slowly dies though when Alex comes into the room with Matt in tow. You’d seen him a few times since the night you couldn’t get an Uber home from the Cook’s house and he walked you home but he still wasn’t all that chatty with you.

It was a little easier but you were still the one making all the effort and actively trying to make conversation with him. You can’t imagine anything different happening tonight, christ, you’ve still not mentioned to him that you like his new buzzcut.  

In fact, you imagine he’ll be a little worse because he’s got everyone who he wants around him and you’re just Katie’s plus one. Thankfully you’re distracted for a minute by the bubbly man that is Matt Helders.

He’s a gooden too. You do love him but you can’t lie, he made a questionable decision with his love life. Why anyone would leave Breana you have no idea.

Like Katie’s rants about Alex doing the dirty on Taylor, you heard the same rants for her about Matt cheating on Breana. Once again, it wasn’t really your place to have an opinion so you just let her rant at you.

But Matt had always been lovely to you, so obviously you wouldn’t bring the things you heard about him into your dynamic. You chat to the drummer for a few minutes and he makes you laugh countless times at how tipsy he is.

You genuinely don’t know how he can perform for two hours when he’s like this before. But you can’t blame him, and he seems to be having fun and you know he’ll put on a good show.

Matt wonders off to grab himself another drink leaving you alone at the side of the now busy room. But you don’t mind people watching, it’s quite a good pass time for someone like you who doesn’t like awkward encounters. Anything to keep you from rambling on like you always do when you’re drunk and nervous.

Your eyes mostly roam over the people you don’t know, you find them more interesting to try and figure out. Guess which members of the band they know and how they’re friends.

But your people watching hobby fucks you over royally. As you eyes glance over at who Alex is chatting too, the singer's eyes connect with yours and you avert your gaze immediately.

You honestly just can’t deal with the awkwardness today. You need more alcohol to deal with that. Being drunk was the only reason you survived that walk home with him.

But turns out you’re not so lucky, because when you glance back, Alex is on his way over to you which almost makes you spit your drink out. What the fuck?

Miles, your absolute saviour, runs into his best friend though and wraps him into a hug which you can’t help but laugh at. He kisses his cheek which makes Alex laugh and the smile lingers on his face after Miles tells him whatever it is he needs to tell him.

They chat for a minute and you just find yourself watching them. They chat so easily. It really makes you wonder what you’ve done to piss Alex off so much that it seems like he couldn’t care less if you were in the room with him or not.

If you had to bet, it would be your nervous rambling. But that’s not your fault. That’s your shyness taking over and your hatred of awkward silences.

Your jaw almost falls open though when Alex smiles at you from over Miles shoulder, and even more so when he moves around his best mate as greets you, “Hey Y/N.”

“Hey,” You say, a little surprised that he’s stopped his conversation with Miles to come over.

“How’ve you been?” He asks, which makes you want to pinch yourself.

Did he really just ask me how I was before I asked him?

You just about manage to smile as you say, “Yeah I’m great, how are you?”

“Good thanks, excited for the gig.” The singer smiles, and you can’t help but find it unnerving that he’s giving you his undivided attention. Alex follows up like he’s curious, “I didn’t think you were coming to any shows?”

“Oh no.” You shake your head, thinking Katie must have forgotten to tell the lads she invited you. “What's better than a gig, right?”

“Right.” Alex smiles, and it shocks you because it actually seems genuine, “Glad you could make it.”

Is he drunk? Why is he talking to me? He’s glad I could make it????? What now?

You smile at each other then. But your brain is all too aware that after two seconds there’s nothing more to say. So as you try to stop yourself from getting skittish, or making it more awkward.

“You been enjoying the tour?” You ask him, but you don’t give him any time to reply because you start your nervous talking, “I’ve seen a few videos and they’ve been good. Four Out Of Five seems to really pop off. I like that one, might be my favourite off the new album actually. But I really like One Point Perspective too.”

“Good choices.” Alex chuckles and you can’t help but silently scorn yourself for being awkward.

God, you wish you could have one normal interaction with him.

“Oh,” Alex’s eyes seem to light up for a second before he tells you, “Follow me a second, got something for you.”

You frown at him, not believing what he said in the slightest. You ask in confusion, “Me?”

“Yeah.” Alex nods and turns with a gesture for you to follow him.

The shock of it is what actually makes you move. You can’t help but whisper a small, “Oh.” though.

He surely has to be drunk?

But what’s mind-boggling is that he really isn’t. On the way out Miles asked him if he wanted another drink and Alex responded yes and added ‘this is only my first, definitely need one more before I go on’.

He leads you out of the room everyone was in and around the corner to where a group of the crew guys are. There’s a quiet word exchanged with who you assume to be the main crew guy and you watch from behind Alex as the guy nods at him and a second later he hands the lead singer something.

You shake your head as soon as you see Alex turn back to you and hold up the AAA pass that’s hanging from the lanyard he’s trying to give you.

“Oh Alex, I don't need that.” You shake your head, “I like watching from the arena.”

Half of them in that room watch from a box which is where you expected to be watching from. It’s no issue to you where you are in the arena, it’s nice enough you were invited by Katie to come tonight for free. Christ knows you wouldn’t have been able to get a ticket on Ticketmaster.

“Come on,” Alex presses on, “I’ve never seen you back here.”

Because you really like watching from the arena. You’ve never been at the side of the stage and you’re not sure if you want to be. You’ll just feel like you’re in the way.

You try to argue your point, “But-”

“No buts,” Alex smiles as he puts the lanyard over your head so it falls around your neck like a necklace. The singer continues, “You can’t be leaving Katie on her own. She’s been missing you for the last two weeks. I’m sure Jamie will like you being at the side of the stage too.”

He gives your shoulders an encouraging squeeze and the smile on his face makes you believe that you’ve swapped bodies with Katie for a hot second. He’s never talked to you like this before.

“Thanks Alex.” You smile sheepishly, not really knowing what else to do other than accept in this situation, “You really didn’t have to do that.”

The singer shakes his head like he doesn’t need your thanks. He just smiles at you and says, “It's nice seeing you here.”

It goes silent for a second then between you and your mind scrambles for something to talk about so this surprisingly good interaction doesn’t take a turn for the worst. You’re thankful it’s not your rambling that ends the conversation though.

Someone from the crew a bit further down the hall shouts Alex’s name then which makes the both of you turn to look at where the voice came from. You both see someone wave and then they tap their ear at the same time they almost do the Asda Price bum tap thing.

Whatever it is goes straight over your head. But Alex seems to understand because he nods and holds up a finger telling him one minute.

“Sorry to be a pain,” Alex says as he turns back to you, “They are shouting me for something about my mic pack.”

“It’s okay.” You smile.

Alex smiles back at you, and he says, “See ya in a bit Y/N, hope you enjoy the show.”

“Always do.” You smile and as you turn back around, you say, “Break a leg.”

The singer just smiles at you and you head your separate ways.

Great. Now you just sound like a fucking suck up. Go and get another drink Y/N/N. For fucks sake.

~*~*~*~

Surprisingly, that isn’t your only interaction with Alex tonight. During the short interval between the encore, when they came off stage both Alex and Matt came over and talked to you whilst Nick and Jamie spoke to their wives.

You were tipsy at that point so you started chatting their ear off like you usually did and Matt of course entertained you, but what surprised you most is that Alex was actually smiling. He actually seemed interested in what you had to say - even if it was just nervous bullshit - and he didn’t try to look for someone else to talk to which was very surprising to you. But that was probably just because Matt was there though.

Expecting that to be it, you didn’t give the singer much thought other than that. Knowing that you’re all going into town after this with quite a lot of people settles your nervous energy. You’ll probably have Katie and Kelly to yourself for most of the night because of their men interacting with everyone who wants to speak to them.

And for the most part you’re right about that. Katie gets you drunk, to the point where you’ve had to stop drinking for about an hour so you don’t throw up in the toilets. But the party is still in full swing and you - along with everyone else - have had a nice night.

You’ve just come back from the toilet and you’re looking around for Katie who has now disappeared from the table you were previously at. Kelly had gone home a little earlier, leaving Nick here to have his fun, so you and Katie had been chatting the night away and you’ll be getting a taxi with her back home because you live a 10 minute walk away from her house.

You just take your seat back at the table you were previously sitting on and pull your phone out. The last thing you wanted to do was interrupt anyone else's conversation so you were happy waiting for Katie to find her way back to you.

Sitting there, your still tipsy mind is paying no real attention to what you’re seeing on Instagram. You do find yourself singing along to the Tame Impala song that's playing in the room which you can just about hear over the noise of the busy chattering.

“Hey,” Alex's voice startles you out of your thoughts as he comes and sits himself down next to you with a smile on his face as he asks, “You enjoy the show?”

“Hey, yeah,” You nod, taking a deep breath to stop your shocked heart from giving out. Smiling, you tell him, “Well done.”

“Thanks, Y/N.” Alex grins back at you, and he places a glass down in front of you, “Got you a drink.”

“Oh,” Your eyes go a little wide looking at the whisky glass he’s put down in front of you, “Thank you.”

You pick it up and swirl the liquid around the two ice cubes and initially you thought it was whisky like he’s currently drinking, but you notice the liquid is lighter and a little thicker. Is this your favourite liqueur?

And the singer confirms that it is your favourite drink when he must notice you glancing at your drink. He brings you out of your thoughts and you look back at him as he speaks.

“You drink Amaretto on the rocks when you’re out, right?” Alex nods down to your drink like he’s worried he got it wrong.

“Yeah, yeah.” You nod, completely baffled that he knew that about you, but you smile nonetheless, “Thank you, you didn’t have to get me that.”

Christ, what a good guess on his part.

Alex smiles, “Least I can do.”

You take a sip of the drink and you can’t help but love the taste of it. And after not drinking for an hour or so, the taste is lovely and refreshing on your tongue.

“Did you enjoy your show?” You ask to fill the silence between you.

Granted the noise in the busy room makes his absence of conversation not as bad, but you hate the awkward feeling in your chest. Talking always makes it feel better and your tipsy self can’t control what you say anyway.

“I bet you don’t hear that a lot, or I guess you might.” You ramble, “But I imagine, with performing like that, you just get a lot of people telling you that they enjoyed themselves despite you maybe not feeling it was your best or whatever.”

You notice his lip twitch up at that and you feel like you’ve just shot yourself in the foot. “Sorry, that made it sound like I’m saying you were shit. I’m not. You weren’t. I’m just saying, bet you don’t really get asked a lot. So yeah, um, sorry.”

After the singer takes another sip of his drink, he smiles, “You don’t need to apologise… Yeah, I enjoyed myself. It was probably the best night this week.”

You nod at that, taking another sip of your Amaretto before you open your mouth again, “That’s good. I guess it makes the home shows more special. Has anywhere ever beaten home shows? I imagine all the UK ones are pretty special with you all literally travelling around the world.”

“God, big question.” Alex chuckles a little, before looking at the ceiling as if the answer was written up there. He comes back with, “I think home shows are the rowdiest and loudest which is fun. I think the best ever was Glastonbury though.”

You grin, “Which one? First or second time?”

“Full of good questions.” Alex smiles before he swirls his glass around as he thinks which reminds you of something else entirely.

“Oh,” You practically giggle, which brings his attention back to you, “You make me laugh when you do that ‘losing your train of thought’ thing on stage. Wasn’t aware that an Arctic Monkeys show is actually shitty stand up comedy these days.”

“Offended you think it's shit.” Alex scoffs which makes you drunkenly giggle.

As you finish laughing you shrug and tell him, “Was better in the days that you did the kung fu fighting thing still.”

“Damn,” Alex shakes his head, “Need to step my game back up. Any other suggestions?”

You think about it for a second and you’re just about to give him a long spiel of awkward suggestions that probably should never leave your mouth. But they thankfully don’t because the most gorgeous wife in the world comes back over and grabs your attention.

“Hey Y/N,” Katie grins at you with her coat folded over her arm and she asks, “You ready to go?”

“Yeah,” You nod, grabbing your coat from just beside you, “Yeah.”

As you slip your coat on and finish your drink in a quick mouthful, Alex keeps Katie entertained.

“Mrs Cook.” Alex grins, taking a sip of his beer after calling her out, “You lightweight.”

You have an amused grin on your face as she frowns at him, “Some of us have kids to look after in the morning, Turner.”

“I’m so glad I'm not you right now.” You laugh honestly.

The last thing you’d want was to be hungover and then have to get up early to deal with kids in the morning. Definitely not happening any time in your near future.

“You and me both.” Alex chuckles before he glances back at Katie. “Did you have a good night Mrs Cook.”

“Stop calling me Mrs Cook, you make me feel old.” She playfully scorns him.

“You are old.” Alex fires back just as cocky as she was, pointing out some fair points, “You’ve been married for half a decade and you have a child.”

Katie scowls at the singer then, and she fires back, “Well at least I don’t have a fucking ugly orange settee where I choose to live.”

You have to laugh at that. You’ve heard about how weird and wonderful this sofa is. You know she’s hated it ever since she’d seen it when he moved in, but Alex apparently likes how his furnished flat came. So he’s not changing it.

Alex argues back, with a look of determination, “It matches the blue walls.”

“Your flat looks like a pop art painting.” Katie fires back, narrowing her eyes at him.

“You’re just jealous because you can’t have pretty things like that because your kid will draw on it.” Alex defends himself with a grin, before adding his final joking remarks, “And you’re boring because you have your Mum brain on all the time.”

“At least she’s a milf.” You grin at her, “It’s very lucky Jamie is away so much. Get her all to myself.”

Katie burst out laughing at that and you hear Alex chuckle at you too. Not that you’ll remember any of this tomorrow, you can practically feel the memories already leaving your mind.

Christ, that one extra drink has really done you over. You feel just as drunk again. God you already don’t want the hangover tomorrow.

Katie tells you that she’s going to go and find a few people to say goodbye to and that she’ll meet you over by the door in a few minutes. So you politely ask Alex to let you up from the booth you’re in and he does so without any argument.

As you stand in front of him, the singer wonders aloud, “You’re coming tomorrow, right?”

“Oh I, um,” You don’t really know what to say other than, “I didn’t know I was invited?”

The last thing you wanted to do was be in the way again. Because god knows at some points tonight when the crew was running around you, Katie, and Kelly you felt like you were in the way. And you never want to outstay your welcome anyway.

“Course you are,” Alex tells you, and he says as if it’s obvious, “You’ve been on the guestlist all week, Y/N.”

“Oh.” You say, a little dumbfounded because you really didn’t know and his gaze still makes you feel a little uneasy.

Well if Katie had told you she’d done that for you you might have been able to come a few dates earlier. Or maybe not considering it’s still been a little awkward tonight with Alex, you’re grateful for the conversations you’ve had though.

But you won’t remember your discussions with him because you’ve had so much to drink. And tomorrow you’ll blame your hangover on Katie for more than likely asking Jamie to put the Disaronno in his rider.  

“You don’t have to,” Alex backtracks a little, but it’s nonchalant and you think nothing of it anyway. He follows it up with, “Just thought that you usually spend your saturday nights with Katie and she's here anyway. You’re welcome to come again.”

How kind of him. He must have been abducted by aliens and this is a nicer clone. There's absolutely no other explanation to your tipsy mind.

“Thanks, yeah,” You nod and the singer smiles at you when you confirm, “I’ll be there.”

Because you won’t be turning down free live music or alcohol any time soon.

You glance at the door and notice Katie giving Jamie a kiss so you figure it’s time to get going yourself. You look back at Alex and he smiles knowing what you must already be thinking.

“Then I’ll see you tomorrow Y/N/N.” Alex grins and you give him a smile and a small ‘bye’ as you turn to leave.

But the singer shouts your name after you take a few steps away, so when you turn back to him, he answers your earlier question, “First time. First Glastonbury blew my mind.”

All you seem to be able to do in response to that is grin. You nod a little before saying, “See you tomorrow Alex.”

~*~*~*~ 20th August 2018 ~*~*~*~

“I want to cry, the Uber cancelled again.” Katie whines, pouting slightly as she looks out of the window at the rain.

“Just our luck for not booking a proper taxi in advance.” Jamie sighs, scorning himself for not thinking better of it earlier.

Tonight you, Katie, Jamie, and Alex had been out separately but you’d all convened back together at the Cook household so Jamie’s parents could be relieved of babysitting duties. You and Katie shared another bottle of wine and gossiped for another 2 hours whilst the boys drank their beer and chipped into the conversation now and again.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Alex tells them, “We don’t live that far away.”

“Yeah, I’ll just brave the cold.” You assure Katie, and add in a little jest using air quotes, “At least it’s ‘summer’ and not snowing.”

“But the rain.” Katie points to the window.

Yeah walking home at the end of the night in the rain can be a little shit. But it was nothing you’d not done before. Granted you were like 21 the last time you’d done that but it’s really not the end of the world.

“It’s not heavy, I'll be okay.” You promise her to try and ease her worries, “At least I’ll go home looking like a drowned rat and not the other way around.”

You grab your coat from near the door and Katie follows you saying, “You can’t walk home on your own at three am, Y/N.”

“I’ll be fine.” You tell her as you slip your shoes back on.

Alex shocks both you and Katie to your cores when he says, “I’ll walk her home.”

Katie mustn’t be able to believe her ears because she asks, “What?”

You almost laugh, because she sounds like she’s as shocked as she was when Alex walked in on your wine night with Jamie and Nick the other month and she first saw his buzzed hair cut.

“We live the same way with about five minutes between us.” Alex points out, and he looks at you and nods, “I’ll walk you home.”

So that is how you’re currently walking from the Cook’s house to your own with Alex by your side.

Since Jamie’s party when he came up to you and asked why you didn’t think he liked you, the singer had surprisingly been a little better with you. He said hello to you and he seemed to engage a little more.

He’s still quiet around you, but you’ve noticed now that he goes like that around most people he doesn’t really know that well. You guess you can’t really change that though considering whenever you start asking him questions he doesn’t really give you much of an answer.

You’ve come to terms with that thought which is why you’re biting your tongue as you walk beside him. The urge to start asking him a bunch of questions is really strong but you’d rather not have the sinking feeling in your chest when you just receive one word answers back.

To occupy yourself as you’ve been walking the past few minutes, you’ve been running over the lyrics of your favourite song in your head. Alex seems to be in his head as it is so you don’t feel too bad as you walk despite the strong urge to rid yourself of the awful silence between you.

All you really focus on is making sure the umbrella that Katie lent you keeps you dry. Alex had a coat with a hood and even when you offered to share the umbrella with him he told you it was fine and that was the last thing you said to each other.

Or that was until Alex speaks up and asks you, “Am I right in thinking you were married?”

“Yeah for four years.” You nod, glancing over at him, and chuckling a little, “If you can believe it.”

Thank fuck he spoke up. The silence was eating away at you.

Alex’s eyes go a little wide, “Really?”

The poor man probably shouldn’t have asked, because the floodgates you were holding shut have just burst open and your nervous chatter just comes out. And considering you’re drunk, there is no chance you can stop it.

“Yeah, together since we were sixteen. Married at twenty one and stayed together for four years. But we just didn’t love each other anymore. Well, not in the way that qualifies you still be married to someone.” You ramble on before continuing, “Don’t get me wrong I would be devastated if something happened to him. Touch wood nothing does. But we just lived separate lives, went to work, came back home, and went to bed. Half the time he did shifts so I never saw him.”

You carry on to explain, “My life was just boring and I thought to myself I shouldn’t be feeling bored aged twenty-five. I wanted to travel and see the world but I just got a mortgage straight away so the only travelling we ever did was when we went to Vegas and got married.”

“So I got divorced, and how sad is it that I've got to tell people I'm a thirty one year old divorcee.” You finish off with.

But then you realise who you’ve said all of that to. And that he doesn’t like chatting to you at the best of times. So he probably didn’t care about anything you just told him, or appreciated the amount of rambling you just did.

You feel the need to say, “Sorry.” and you glance at Alex as you sheepishly say, “You didn’t really ask that, did you?”

For fucks sake Y/N. A ‘yes’ would have done!

“It’s okay.” Alex assures you with a small smile.

“No, it's just me rambling when I'm drunk and nervous.” You scorn yourself, hating the uneasy feeling in your chest. Unable to understand why you do it, you still end up saying, “I’m sorry. I’m a chatty person in general and getting alcohol into my system just makes me worse. Not to mention if I'm nervous too… Can never stop me going then.”

You guess getting it off your chest and him knowing that about you may make you easier to understand. Maybe he won’t find you as annoying because the last thing you want is to annoy him. You’re close with Katie and Jamie so you’re bound to run into each other more now he’s going to be living in Sheffield.

The singer frowns a little then before looking back to you to curiously ask, “Why are you nervous?”

Because you’re the most awkward man to talk to possibly ever?!!??!??!?

Course you can’t say that though. So you give the other true reason.

“I don’t like walking home in the dark usually.” You tell him sincerely, because it does freak you out. “I don’t know, bit of an irrational fear at this point but someone followed me home when I was younger and it really freaked me out. So um yeah… Thank you for doing this.”

“It’s really not a problem Y/N/N,” He smiles at you in what seems like a genuine way then, “I wasn’t going to let you walk home alone.”

You can’t help but think that’s really kind of him considering he really doesn’t know you very well. You tell him, “You’re a gooden, Alex.”

The singer just smiles a little at that, but you can see he’s being completely genuine when he says, “Sorry that happened to you.”

You give him a small smile then, appreciating how sincerely he said it. But you don’t really want to dwell on that whilst you’re walking in the dark so you change the subject.

“Do you prefer being back in Sheffield after all your time away?”

Alex wonders in what context you’re on about, so he questions, “You mean like over tour?”

“No, I mean like from living in different places because you were in New York when I first met you. Then you were in LA and you’ve got a place over there, right?” You double check, looking to him for assurance.

Alex nods and you continue, “Then you were to and from LA and London, right? And now you decided to come and stay back home? Or do you not plan on staying now?”

And you’re pleasantly surprised at the lengthy answer he gives you.

“Oh I'm definitely staying in Sheffield now… At least for a little while after the tour is finished.” He explains, “I think I just need time back where everything is normal and familiar again. Like Miles goes and stays back home quite often and I’ve not been back here for more than two months maybe since I was twenty two… It’s a long time away and it's quite nice to just come back and feel normal.”

You understand what he’s saying completely, but you can’t help but jokingly add, “Well… As normal as you can, being the front man of Sheffield's pride and joy.”

Alex laughs a little at that which shocks you because you never expected to make him laugh. But he does remind you, “You’re forgetting about Pulp.”

“You’re forgetting Pulp haven’t released anything since 2012.” You raise your eyebrows at him as your defence.

“Fair dos,” Alex laughs a little and you take what joy you can out of the fact that you made that happen. “But yeah, I like being myself back here and I like that I’m with most of my good friends and I get to be a proper uncle to the kids over here now.”

“They talk about you all the time. It's funny.” You can’t help but grin at the thought of your little god children, “Katie blames Jamie for being gone on you so when Katie has Kelly and Nick’s kids round too they complain like ‘Why has Uncle Alex taken Dad away again?’” You mimic in a whiney voice that again makes Alex laugh.

Alex chuckles, “I need to have a word with that Mrs Cook. She’ll get me into trouble with them.”

You promise him, “It’s nothing a chocolate bar wouldn’t solve.”

“I must owe them so much chocolate.” Alex grins.

You nod and begin to slow your walking down because you’re about to reach your house, “Oh yeah, you definitely do.”

“I’ll get Katie to invoice me.” The singer says as he notices you glance to the houses just beside you both and you slow down.

Matching your speed, you both come to a stop just in front of your house and you smile at the singer, “Thank you for walking me home.”

“Not a problem, Y/N.” Alex smiles back and you’re really glad that

You start slowly moving closer to your house as you say, “I hope the next leg of your tour goes well.”

“Thank you.” He says as he watches you get closer to your house.

“See you soon Alex.” You say with a smile as you unlock your door and push it open. “Thanks again.”

Alex smiles, “Bye Y/N.”

~*~*~*~ 24th November 2018 ~*~*~*~

Chaos. That is the only word to describe the current situation that you’re in.

The Cook household is manic, Forrest is running round like a mad man as any toddler who’s just been given sweets by his uncle would be doing.

Toys are everywhere and Jamie is running around too as he’s been tasked with tidying them before the grandparents get here to babysit. Katie scolded Alex for giving Forrest sweets before they were due to go out before she went upstairs to get ready.

Katie’s Mum wasn’t here yet to babysit Forrest for the night whilst you were all going out and that added to the stress because the taxi was due in about 25 minutes. So you’re trying your best to be the good Auntie that you are and calm your godchild down before you all go out, but your good nature results in a causality.

Alex catches your arm as you almost fall over a mountain of toys Forrest decided to pull you through, but as you tried to salvage your footing you must have caught the leg of the table your shin smacked into as well. It didn’t hurt too much, the initial shock of it got you and the fact you almost fell over, but then you hear the awful sound of fabric ripping, it makes you wince. You know what's happened before you even look down to check.

“You’ve got to be fucking joking.” You mutter under your breath before you quickly glance at Alex and say a small, “Thanks.” as he stopped you from going arse over tit.

Alex asks slightly concerned, “Are you okay?” and that’s the first interaction with him since you walked in the door ten minutes ago.

You could blame that on the fact the Cook’s household was fucking mental, but it’s more than likely just normal that he doesn’t want to talk to you. You’re just glad he caught you if nothing else, the last thing you need is to fall and bruise yourself.

“Yeah, thanks,” You nod, letting go of his arm you were still grasping to perch on the back of the settee so you can get a look at the damage done to your tights, “Can’t say the same about them, for fucks sake.”

They are beyond salvageable. There’s a massive hole in the calf which is that big it almost fully reaches round to your shin. Theres now a massive fucking ladder up the side of them which makes them more transparent and you can feel it’s gone right up to your arse too.

“I can’t go out like this.” You sigh, wondering what you can do but it also pisses you off because you literally arrived a matter of minutes ago in your taxi feeling really good about yourself for a hot second, but now that’s all fucking disipated.

Jamie shrugs, suggesting, “Take them off.” as he watches Forrest play with some toys across the room.

“Oh yeah,” You roll your eyes, and your sarcasm rings clear telling him that you’re not in the mood for such a simple comment like that. You wore them for a reason, and that reason is because it’s fucking freezing outside, “And get fucking hypothermia because I’m shivering all night? I don’t think so Jamie.”

You’re only wearing a skirt tonight because Katie asked you to anyway. She wanted you to wear the skirt version of the dress that she had which you were fine with doing.

Katie was wearing a really cute red tartan dress with a long sleeve black top underneath whereas you opted to buy the dark green high waisted tartan skirt and you paired that with a white long sleeve top and you had your tights and ankle boots on.

You’re bloody freezing as it is, the last thing you want or need is to be taking your tights off. It’s a strong no from you.

“I mean you wanted a quick fix.” Jamie holds his hands up in innocence and you just ignore him for a second before walking out of the lounge and to the bottom of the stairs after hearing your best friend begin to walk down them.

“Katie, do you have tights I could borrow?” You ask her as she gets to the bottom of the stairs.

“I binned all mine the other day and ordered more but they haven't arrived yet.” She tells you and your once jolly mood plummets further, “They all had holes in them… How come?”

You show her your right leg and you turn slightly to pull your skirt up a little, making sure the lads don’t see but Katie can see just how high the ladder runs up.

“Oh.” Katie winces at that, feeling bad she can’t help you.

“I’ve got stockings you could wear?” She offers as the both of you walk back into the lounge, “They’d come up to your thigh?”

You almost want to slap her. You know exactly where those items of her clothing have been, which is why you give her a disgusted look as you say, “I’m not wearing stockings that you’ve been wearing whilst Jamie’s railed you.”

“They’ve been washed.” She scoffs.

“Thanks, but no. I can’t wear these though.” You sigh as you both walk into the lounge. You stick by the arched frame though and after a second of deliberation, you say, “Whilst you're sorting yourself out, I’ll walk home and change.”

Katie looks at you with concern filled eyes, “But the taxi is due in twenty minutes.”

“Exactly, and you don't have the time to be messing about.” You say as she’s clearly still got things to sort out. She’s only just now plugging her straighteners in and she doesn’t have her shoes on yet either. You continue with, “And your Mum isn’t here yet to look after Forrest. If you can pick me up on the way out, that’d be grand.”

Katie nods at you through the mirror as she starts parting her hair so she can style it, “Yeah that’s fine.”

“Right, I’ll go now then.” You tell the room before turning to grab your coat from the bannister.

But you almost stop dead when you hear Alex say, “I’ll walk with you.”

Did those words really just leave Alex Turner’s mouth?

They clearly did because he’s pulling his jacket back on and taking a step towards you. Not wanting to be a burden, you shake your head, “You don’t have to, it’s not that late.”

“It’s okay, I’ll walk with you.” Alex insists, giving you a look that’s assuring but he makes it lighthearted by saying, “Gives them more incentive to come and pick the both of us up from yours then, right?”

You assume he must remember from your walk home a few months ago that you didn’t like walking home in the dark. You see no other reason for him as to be so kind to offer. So you don’t argue with him further, even though you already feel nervous to have to spend time with him alone.

“Right.” You nod and avert your gaze from his. You look back to Katie and Jamie and say, “See you in a bit.”

~*~*~*~

The walk home was uncomfortable to say the least. Despite your speed walking, it really did seem to take forever to get back to your house with silence between you and the singer.

You’ve got past the point of trying to start a full conversation with him at this point, so you just opted to repeat the lyrics to your favourite song, Not fair by Lily Allen, to yourself three times knowing that by the time you finish the song in full for the third time you should be home. And when you’re correct, you’re very thankful.

Unlocking and getting into your house leaves a new sense of anxiety in your stomach though. You’ve left the place a fucking mess and you hate that when someone new walks in. Especially someone like Alex who hasn’t always been the nicest to you in the past, so you start rambling again as you let the both of you in.

“My house is a tip so sorry about this.” You tell him as you quickly slip your boots off so you can change your tights when you get a second. “Please ignore everything you see. I’ve really not had any time to clean up today. I was out this morning and then by the time I got back katie was mithering me to get ready for tonight which is fucking comical because she wasn’t ready even before we left.”

Alex closes the door behind and walks into your home and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s already looking around at your possessions. Most people do when they walk in anyway considering the back wall of your lounge displays your ever growing record collection.

You’re unsurprised when you hear him say, “Christ, that’s a lot of records.”

“I know right,” You smile and walk the both of you further into your home.  

And because you can’t handle silence as you start searching your shopping bags for a new pair of tights, you give him another anecdote, “My Dad gave me all of his from back in the day. Couldn’t believe it when he said I could have them all. I’d only just started my collection at the time and I probably had about twenty of my own and then he gave me all of his because he said it was old technology and he’ll never have any use for them anymore. And then my grandparents followed suit and they gave me all theirs too. Couldn’t believe my luck.”

“Three generations worth of collectors then?” Alex smiles and you nod.

“Yeah, I guess so.” You nod, not bothering with the bag you were currently routing through anymore because you’re a little bit taken aback by the fact he’s pulled your favourite Gorillaz album out.

Abandoning your search for replacement tights for the moment, you carry on your story as you watch him, “Been fun adding to the big collection though. I love just putting on a record to pass the time. It’s why my Spotify unwrapped is always so shit because I always listen to my LPs and not on my phone so at the end of the year it’s like ‘you listened to two thousand minutes of music this year’ and it’s bullshit because I just listen to so much more but it’s all on my turntable unless I'm walking to work.”

Alex hums with a smile on his face as he continues searching for more records. He’s pleased to see all of his own up there, including his EP, the TLSP albums, and the Submarine soundtrack. And when he pulls out Miles’ latest album Coup De Grace, he can’t help but chuckle seeing that Miles had signed it and written a message to you saying, ‘Y/N/N, my biggest fan in the world. Love you loads and I hope you enjoy the new tunes. All my love, Miles x’.

When you notice the singer looking at that, you laugh and tell him how Miles had given you a lovely message on the front of all his LPs.

“Bless Miles, he always writes me a nice message on each album I get sent.” You start to ramble as you search for new tights. “I don’t really remember when he started doing it… Oh yeah I do, I think it may have been when I mentioned when I first met him how much I liked Age of the Understatement and we were talking about it for ages. And then like a month later I get the record in the post and he’s signed it and it had the sweetest message on the front to go with it and he’s never stopped. He’s a gem.”

You stop talking about Miles when you get baffled for a moment how your tights weren’t in the shopping bag from the shop you thought you bought them from. So your search persists as you carry on routing in other bags you’ve yet to take upstairs.

As you do though, your nervous chatter persists. You really hate that you can’t stop it, and you’re sure you’re annoying your guest but he doesn’t stop you, and thankfully he doesn’t look annoyed by them today. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take you by surprise today by actively starting a conversation with you.

Just as you’re about to run upstairs to your room, you hear Alex ask, “Can I ask you a question?”

If Katie would have asked you that, you’d have said ‘You just did’ but because it’s Alex and you’re certain he doesn’t get your humour, nor would he tolerate it, you just say, “Yeah, of course you can.”

And you walk back into your lounge so you’re not being rude as you wait for his question. Alex looks as relaxed as possible as you feel like your heart is going to start beating out of your chest despite him still plucking records from your shelves.

His brown eyes linger on you as he asks, “Do I make you nervous?”

You certainly weren't expecting that question.

“What do you mean?” You find yourself asking, not understanding where that’s come from and you feel like you’re frozen in your spot.

Alex seems to think about his words before they leave his mouth next. And your heart that's thudding ten to the dozen in your chest doesn’t feel like it’s able to cope for much longer so you’re very thankful when he says what's on his mind.

“Well when I walked you home in the summer, you said that you ramble when you're drunk or nervous. And yes, on a few occasions we've seen each other lately we’ve been drunk, but you’re not now and you’re exactly the same.” Alex points out as he looks between you and the track listing on the back of your Brian Eno LP.

“You’re really chatty and jumpy when I come near you and it's like you’re flustered and jittery... Like the way a fan usually is but you’ve known me for too long for it to be that, so that’s why I'm asking,” Alex repeats himself, “Do I make you nervous?”

“Erm, yeah.” You nod, unable to say much else, “I guess you do.”

“In what way?” The singer asks you as he puts the record back where he found it before giving you his full attention and starts making his way over to you.

“I’m not scared of you or anything… You just really stress me out. I can never read you, never read what mood you’re in or even whether you like me as a person or you just think I’m Katie’s annoying friend that never shuts up.” You struggle for your words because you truly don’t know how to tell him without offending him. The last thing you’d want is for him to dislike you anymore.

But Alex’s gaze and increasing proximity makes you say more, “I don’t really know why you make me nervous after all this time. But you definitely unsettle me.”

You want to curl up into a ball and hide. You feel fidgety with the closer he gets and you want to avoid his gaze. But because he’s pointed it out, you don’t allow yourself. You stay strong and keep his eye contact despite his teasing.

“When you’re around me you talk like you- I don’t know how to describe it… You almost act like someone who's addicted to the E-numbers in sweets.” Alex grins, almost like it’s a little inside joke with himself. You try to keep yourself calm when he reaches his point, as he stops a few feet in front of you. “So that's why I’m curious if I made you nervous or not.”

“Well I guess the simple answer is yes.” You nod, but now with him so close, you try to look anywhere but at him.

This is far too awkward for your liking. Alex hums in response to that and he plucks another record that you recognise to be Histoire de Melody Nelson from your shelf that’s just beside you.

You think you’ve escaped the conversation now and you pray you can just go back to being awkwardly silent with each other and never relive that again. But apparently that’s not the plan.

Just as you were turning yourself around again to head upstairs, Alex leaves you shell shocked when he asks, “Do you want to fuck me?”

Instantly your eyes are the widest they could possibly get and you’re sure your jaw falls open. Looking at him intently to try and make sure you’re not dreaming this, you deadpan, “Excuse me?”

“Do you want to fuck me?” Alex asks, putting the record back like it's the most casual thing to ask someone he barely speaks to, “Is that why I make you nervous?”

This should be the easiest response you’ve ever given him.

“I-”

But your words fail you. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest.

Wait… Do I want to fuck him?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: So... What did you think??? What do you think is going to happen next??? Did you enjoy it? I really hope you did! 

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist x

Taglist: @alovesreading​ @kennedy-brooke​ @ohladymoon​ @hazskillerqueen​ @more-multifandom-of-maddness @thereisaplaceintheheart​ 

[wintfleur]

⚘ ˖˙𓈒ִֶָ☾.˙ ᰋ ── WHERE’D ALL THE TIME GO?

aka ophelia’s timeline

━━━ ❛ it’s starting to fly

ᯓᡣ𐭩 EARLY LIFE & SCHOOLING !

april 11th, 2002: ophelia is born on a bright and sunny Thursday afternoon in Vernon, British Columbia.

may 9th, 2006: ophelia (4) takes her first ballet class

2008 - 2013: early childhood / elementary school

august 2010: ophelia (8) joined the soccer team and met her now best friend Amber Jameson; they have been inseparable since.

october 2013: ophelia (11) got an ankle injury during a soccer game and sadly had to quit the sport. Her love for ballet was stronger and she didn't want to risk not being able to dance again.

She had to stop dancing for the rest of the year so her ankle could heal, it was miserable for her.

2013 - 2016: start of her teenage years / middle school

march 2015: ophelia (12) joined the theater club and helped make the costumes for their play, in turn finding her love for fashion designing.

april 2016: ophelia (13) went to get her photos taken for her ballet portfolio and was approached by a teen modeling agency.

summer 2016: ophelia (14) went to south korea for a ballet summer intensive program.

She was housed by a sweet family, where she met one of her bestest friends seunghan and his younger brother park sunghoon who is her age. Seunghan is a fellow ballet dancer and went to the training camp with her.

Ophelia became very close with the family, only becoming closer with them as the years go by, she's an honorary park! Seunghan’s parents think of her as their own child and his little sister thinks of her as her big sis!

2016 - 2020: teen years / high school / start of her modeling career

december 2016: Ophelia (14) was on the cover of pointe magazine.

june 2017: ophelia (15) won first place in the Helsinki international ballet competition, in juniors for women.

august 2017: ophelia finished her first wedding dress that she made for her cousin's wedding.

may 2018: ophelia (16) won first place in the american ballet competition

july 2018: ophelia won first place in the varna international ballet competition

was invited to be on jimmy fallon after her win.

february 2019: ophelia (17) made her debut by walking the catwalk and attending the New York fashion week.

may 29th - june 2, 2019: ophelia walked and attended the miami fashion week

september 2019: ophelia walked and attended the paris fashion week

october 9th 2019: the creation of ophelia's youtube channel

Ophelia created her youtube channel so she could have another way to communicate and become closer with her fans.

She mainly posted vlogs of her days as a model and a ballet dancer, and her just traveling and doing random activities with her friends.

december 2019: ophelia walked and attended the NYFW: December pre-fall and fall-winter, fashion week.

february 2020: ophelia walked and attended london's fashion week, fall-winter.

Ophelia meets Ryan James, a fellow model, they exchanged numbers and Ophelia then got in a relationship with him in may.

June 2020: Ophelia (18) graduated highschool with honors.

july 2020: ophelia moved into her apartment/loft in manhattan, New York. With her best friend seunghan.

Throughout 2016 - 2020 ophelia modeled for many different high end brands, her favorites being Dior, Dolce and Gabbana, and GQ.

She was given the nickname “the next model it girl” for her sudden dominating presence in the modeling world.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 JUILLIARD & JACK !

september 2020: ophelia (18) starts her first year at juilliard

february 23 - march 1st 2020: ophelia walked and attended milan’s fashion week

march 2 - 9th 2020: ophelia walked and attend paris fashion week

Throughout the rest of the year ophelia really focused on her ballet career, putting modeling to the side, and focusing on her studies.

march 2021: ophelia (19) won the Youth America Grand Prix (YAGP)

may 2021: ophelia won first place in the american ballet competition

july 2021: ophelia won first place in the varna international ballet competition

for the rest of the year, Ophelia modeled for many different brands, but she really just focused on her ballet career and getting more known in the fashion design world.

2022 : breakup era

april 11th 2022: Ophelia (20) broke up with Ryan after finding out he has been cheating on her for many months.

april, may, june, july 2022: ophelia took a break from anything that evolved with modeling during those months, trying to heal from her breakup. Throwing herself into training, practices, and her studies.

august 2022: ophelia modeled for celine as her comeback into modeling

was invited back on the jimmy fallon show where they talked about what she's been up to, the celine shoot, and her comeback to modeling

october 6-9th 2022: ophelia walked and attended los angeles fashion week

november 2022: ophelia was interviewed by WIRED where she talked about ballet and modeling and her love for fashion design

2023: meeting jack

march 3rd 2023: curtis gets traded to the new jersey devils

march 28th 2023: ophelia and Jack meet for the first time at a club and share a kiss.

april 18th 2023: ophelia joins curtis out at a bar to meet some of his teammates, and she sees jack for the first time since the club.

they keep what happened at the bar to themselves (besides Jack freaking out about it to Luke), and pretend to just meet each other for the first time.

april 25th 2023: ophelia and jack run into each other at a bar, things escalate and jack ends up bringing her back to his place where they hook up for the first time.

the next morning they talk about what happened, and how they need to keep what happened between them a secret. They want to keep seeing each other, so they decide to become friends with benefits.

july 2023: ophelia models for calvin klein

july 17th 2023: jack confesses his feelings to ophelia after 3 months of being friends with benefits.

Ophelia didn't take it well and left his apartment in haste (girly was afraid of her feelings and commitment) and they didn't talk for two weeks.

july 31st 2023: ophelia goes to jack’s apartment where she apologizes and asks him on a date.

august 1st 2023: jack and ophelia have there first date and officially start dating (secretly)

november 6th 2023: curtis holds a dinner at his home for his teammates, curtis finds jack and ophelia kissing in the garage and did not take it well.

curtis gives her an ultimatum ‘him or me’ in a moment of anger and that leads to ophelia not talking to either of them for a week, locking herself in her apartment.

november 14th 2023: curtis comes to see her early in the day to apologize for his reaction and what he said, later in the day jack comes to see her and they have a sweet moment, happy that everything is now okay between them.

january 12th 2024: ophelia and jack said i love you for the first time

january 24-28 2024: ophelia walked and attended miami fashion week

february 9-14th 2024: ophelia attended new york fashion week fall-winter

february 16th 2024: ophelia and jack's relationship is exposed to the media when videos and pictures of them at the njd’s family skate go viral.

february 26th - march 5th 2024: ophelia walked and attended paris fashion week

may 2024: ophelia did the 73 questions with vogue

june 2024: ophelia did the “10 things I can't live without’ with GQ

may 6th 2024: ophelia (22) attended the met gala for the first time

ophelia did a get ready with me / last looks with vogue for the met

june 2024: ophelia did diary of a model with vogue

july 2024: ophelia and jack do a couple quiz with GQ

may 2025: ophelia (23) graduates at juilliard

ᯓᡣ𐭩 WHAT'S TO COME !

aka phia and jacks future

. . . to be added

ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓇oro's note. I didn’t add every detail about her modeling and dance career in the ‘julliard and jack’ section, it would have taken forever for me to do that 😭 I will update the timeline as time goes! I hope this helps give you a better understanding about the AU >.<

au masterlist

˖ ་ feel free to send in any thoughts/requests you have !! And please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist mwah

˖ ་ taglist : @yoontwin @toasttt11 @winterbarnesblog @iceflwers @cixrosie @bunbunbl0gs

[gaymer-hag-stan]

Happy anniversary to K-pop's chameleons!

On the 29th of July, fourteen years ago, Jiyeon, Hyomin, Eunjung, Qri, Soyeon and Boram gave their first ever performance as T-ara! Although said performance was met with backlash (because apparently T-ara were the only people ever to lip sync on a music show stage 🙄👀) and perhaps serving as a cruel first taste of what was go come later on, it only served as extra motivation for T-ara to do better, and their very next comeback with Bo Peep Bo Peep was a smash hit!

T-ara's career is marked by hook-heavy dance-pop music. A broad array of visual concepts have earned the group a "chameleon-like" reputation. The group has achieved commercial success in several regions in Asia including South Korea and China, with their 2011 single "Roly-Poly" being one of the most downloaded domestic singles since 2010.

Their debut studio album Absolute First Album was released in December 2009 to critical and commercial success, and spawned the hit singles "TTL (Time to Love)", "Bo Peep Bo Peep", and "You Drive Me Crazy". Both their debut Japanese single and studio album reached number one on the Oricon weekly charts and were subsequently certified Gold. They subsequently gained nationwide recognition after releasing "Roly-Poly" in 2011, which went on to become the Gaon chart's best-selling single of the year. At the height of K-pop's popularity in Japan, T-ara signed onto management agency J-Rock for $4.7 million—reportedly the highest figure of any Korean girl group expanding into the territory at the time. T-ara's late-2011 Korean release Black Eyes spawned three consecutive number ones: "Cry Cry", "We Were in Love" and "Lovey-Dovey".

In 2012, T-ara experienced a dip in popularity as the group faced accusations of internal discord, resulting in Hwayoung's immediate departure with Areum following a year after. T-ara's later material was released to varying degrees of success before the group began focusing on promotional activities in China, where they attracted attention for their cover of Chopstick Brothers' "Little Apple" in 2014. T-ara's final release as six members was tentatively scheduled for May 2017, ahead of Soyeon and Boram's expiring contracts; however, conflicts with their management delayed What's My Name? until June 2017, effectively ending their involvement.

On January 3, 2018, T-ara went on an indefinite hiatus in order to allow the members to pursue their solo careers. T-ara reunited after four years and released their first independent album, Re:T-ara, in November 2021.

According to Sina Entertainment, T-ara is the 9th best selling K-pop girl group in terms of physical albums with a total of 1,14 Million albums (as of December 2020), ranking third amongst second generation groups.

T-ara are a constant reminder that hard work and perseverance, no matter outside forces tarnishing your reputation with false claims, will always shine through, and that serving bop after bop after bop is never a bad choice!

[entesi]

A Proper Introduction

Self ship blog: entesi-selfship

Art blog: enttesi

Antis DNI

Hey there everyone! I was inspired by some friends to finally make a new introduction post, this one for me and my system. I am an endogenic soulbond system named the Dragon Soulbond System. I am married to my in-system spouse Vandarian, and we plan on sharing more of us and our system together!

About Our Relationship

Vandarian and I have been together since the 29th of December 2015 and married in May 8th 2018 (this is a guess since we were going through trauma at the time and don’t remember our exact marriage date) and we have three beautiful soulbond children! I’ve been host to a soulbond system since I was very young but didn’t know until recently that I was part of a system or what it was called, I just called things my own words until I learnt of the term soulbond and endogenic systems. I feel so much happier being able to connect to my soulbonds in a better way which is awesome! We thought we’d make a proper post for everyone to know about us :)

Stay tuned for our Carrd page that describes our experiences on being a soulbond system and how we met! This post will be edited with the link when it’s finished

Art by Physis Phyo on Facebook!

More about us is below!

About Me

Noven Hethreku | 24 | He/they

I am Noven Hethreku, but you can also call me Dragon or Entesi. I am a disabled, queer, autistic dragonkin boy from Australia who is a digital artist and character designer. I am obsessed with dragons and cats, and I love drawing characters based off of them and also other creatures that I like. I am a practitioning psychic and medium and I often practice my magical abilities with my soulbonds. I am in the process of making things such as a webcomic and a video game and I want to make content for people to feel happy about and see what I like to make. I try to draw where I can and when I want to I often commission others for art of me and my soulbonds. I treasure my soulbonds very deeply and I’m so happy to be able to share them with you guys!

If you want to see some of my other soulbonds, you can check my F/O and soulbonds page here!

I am always happy to talk about soulbonds! Feel free to send me messages or asks about them

About Van

Vandarian Rintzu Bluuven | 26 | They/them or fae/faer, occasionally he/him

I apologise for the old art, this is the only full reference I have of them that I’ve drawn, but I plan on redrawing them!

Vandarian is my spouse. They are from a species of alien called Bluuven (they don’t like being called alien by most people though as it has bad memories tied to it) and they are two years older than me. They are incredibly intelligent and can build almost any sort of technology, and can also grow sweet plants with their magic. They’re very sassy and have a lot of energy, and they’re very protective of me and my soulbonds. Van has DID, schizophrenia, autism, PTSD, anxiety and depression, and we help each other through the things that are upsetting us. They are very talented at many things such as dancing and singing, and they love showing off for others by looking good and showing that they’re very talented in the stuff they can do. They have tentacles in their back and they have mind reading abilities which are both from their species but they also have some unique abilities other members of their species don’t have. They are an absolute sweetheart and make me so happy

We are always happy to talk about our soulbond experiences so long as you’re being friendly so please feel free to ask us about stuff or share your own soulbond stuff! We always love meeting other soulbonds systems and we would love to see you guys if you want to chat! We give a big thank you to @liya-system for inspiring us to make this post for you guys so you guys can see what we’re like! Please let us know if you need anything

We hope you guys are happy!

[zerolune]

Riize Added Members

↳ ❝ [Momento Memory] ¡! ❞ - PROFILES

Disclaimer: In no ways do I ship any idols, all these face claims are merely for visual aesthetics/appeal- don't relate them to real life, especially because in the future chapters love will be a prominent theme.

-*mentions of death,

-*I have researched about ASD for one of my ocs, but if you find something doesn't seem right, feel free to share it with me.

: ̗̀➛ Next , Masterlist

↳ ༉‧₊ Meet the girls ---

₊❏❜ ⋮ ⌒ 5th July, 1999, Seoul-South Korea

Main vocalist/Leader

Face claim: Fromis_9 Chaeyoung

Starting college is never easy, but starting med school at 14 as a child prodigy wasn't the best experience. Burning herself out, finishing a 6 year degree in 4, starting residency, only to realise and remember her true love, her true passion- music. Yet, she is always reminded and pained whether she was right to be selfish and not decide to save the lives of people anymore.

₊❏❜ ⋮ ⌒15th October, 2001, Osaka-Japan

Main Dancer/Sub Vocalist

Face claim: Hirate Yurina

Dance was engraved in her DNA the second she was born, as her parents ran their own dance studio. At 16, she debuted in a mixed Jpop group that was quite famous until 2020, when it suddenly faced disbandment. Finally, it was fate that brought her to Korea as a choreographer, yet there's not a second when she doesn't wanna go back, and escape the monstrosities- that's why she always stays in the dorm- giving herself a false sense of "home".

₊❏❜ ⋮ ⌒2nd February 2002, Busan-South Korea

Centre/Composer

Face Claim: Aespa Karina

Losing her parents at 14 was not her plan when she was a trainee- on her track to debut. But in between taking care of her younger twin siblings and facing her evil aunt- there wasn't much. Except composing songs under an alias since 2018, and of course getting her debut delayed again and again by her company. This always made her feel as if she wasted her time in music.

₊❏❜ ⋮ ⌒23rd December 2003, Seoul-South Korea

Main Rapper/sub dancer

Face claim: Itzy Yuna

Modeling since the age of 11 not only gave her the confidence of life, but also trauma for life. Entered SM in the hopes of becoming a musician but remembering that her deaf parents couldn't ever hear her sing, she took up modeling when given the chance. Of course she was successful, but she knew the runway wasn't going to be her whole life.

₊❏❜ ⋮ ⌒29th May 2004, Jersey City-USA

Unofficial Visual/Vocalist

Face claim: New jeans Minji

Her parents found out about her autism when she didn't learn to speak until the age of 5, and always having a rather coldness towards socialising. But her guitar? Her paintbrush? They were the love of her life. Moving to Korea was a scary decision, especially with ASD, but with her grandma's forever welcoming home and her supportive therapist, being a trainee in a country she couldn't call "home" per se, it wasn't so difficult.

.....

... "=⌕ / / · Profiles Loaded ●○●○●"

[10point-must]

Spence - Crawford Preview: Errol Spence Jr Last 5

Errol Spence fights Terence Crawford in Las Vegas on July 29th --- a fight I’ve been hoping for for years. We’ll do an abridged last 5 for each of them, since they’ve been covered pretty extensively here over the years. Today we’ll look at Errol Spence Jr, a fighter I really like, but who’s gear has gone from good to good and terrible over the past few years. Weird amounts of fur, incongruous color combinations etc.

Things were less crazy back in June of 2018 when he beat Carlos Ocampo in Dallas:

A full Dallas Cowboys set with black adidas shoes and Everlast gloves. Referenced here in a previous Spence last 5, in case you want to look back all the way to 2016.

He beat Mikey Garcia in Dallas in March of 2019 wearing sort of a distressed white and gold look:

It was a terrible fight, so I covered it only very briefly here.

In September of 2019 Spence beat Shawn Porter by decision in Los Angeles wearing a nice black and snakeskin set:

Zero complaints with this look from Spence. Full review of this fight here.

Spence had his car accident shortly after this fight, and recovered for 15 months before fighting Danny Garcia in Dallas in December 2020:

This is when things started getting a little weird. Spence was consistent with his use of Everlast gloves and Adidas shoes -- but suddenly there was lots of neon, fur and clashing materials. Full review of this fight here, warning to those who are photosensitive.

 In April of 2022 Spence fought again after a lengthy layoff (largely due to a retina injury) -- brutally stopping Yordenis Ugas in 10 rounds in Dallas.

Obviously, Spence is slowly becoming Matthew Lesko. Or maybe The Joker? Anyway - full review of this fight here. 

July 29th is coming up fast.

Respect box.

[greys-flags]

Some stuff about term usage

Hey hi hello, we wanted to make a post that talks a bit about terms we've been using for a good while now (both so we can make some edits on Pluralpedia and so we can just, get it out there I guess?)

Here goes:

Sector: March 2018

According to an archive of an old blog (link), we've been using the term "sector" as "an arbitrary support group of headmates with a fixed number" since March 29th, 2018:

This early version of the usage was intended to create workable sections of the system in order to manage our accounts on social media better, but eventually became a way for us to group people who formed around the same time or shared a source together, while giving headmates someone they could talk to if needed (who was designated as the Sector Leader)

Leader (+variants): September 2018

Speaking of leaders, we've been using that term in our system since at least September 2018, according to another blog archive (link)

Here's a screenshot of that:

We also have a second source from when we started using Google Sheets to keep track of stuff! Here's a screenshot that sums it up:

While we don't have exact proof of using specific variants like "layer leader" or "subsystem leader," that was the way that we used those terms in practice, as implied by the blog post discussing the leaders of our new layers. I (Kam) had layer leader, sector leader, and subsystem leader as my internal roles, to put down a few of the ones we used

Front-locked: September 2018

Related to that last one, further down in that post we also use the term front-locked:

Our usage here was much closer to frontstuck though, so this was just a synonym of that rather than its own term

Bitch (aka Lead Bitch): December 2018

Another term that came up recently in some discussions of ours, we've been using the term Lead Bitch as a role since as least December of 2018:

This isn't something we particularly care about, just funny to see it around honestly- it was a mostly joking role that HABIT gave himself, though for a while the things he did were pretty similar to what the role on Pluralpedia mentions

---

Here's a link to the Google Sheet that we've been talking about for those who'd like to verify themselves: link

That's all I have the energy for right now, we'll potentially reblog/edit this if other things turn up that we've been using for a while X3

[craigsumter-justice]

My Legal Battle with my Family and their Co-horts / Co-conspirators (198):

The attached image is of an affidavit I wrote and was taken under oath on 4-2-2018 regarding a letter I received from my aunt Pamela Mckay (my mother, Gloria Sumter's sister) on Thursday, March 29th, 2018.

In this letter my aunt Pamela McKay warned me that my nephews, Alex Ryall and Jacob Ryall (my sister, Shalene Sumter's two sons), are also involved in the conspiracy involving my family, Creighton Hussey, David Scott and others. Furthermore, in this letter, my aunt Pamela McKay stated that my sister, Shalene Sumter, and her now former husband, John Ryall, were planning to have my nephew, Alex Ryall, come visit me in Atlanta, Georgia and for him to then falsely accuse me of molesting him. They were doing this to retaliate against me for seeking help when I was a teenager after being molested by my own parents, Gloria Sumter and Leonard Sumter Jr. They had hoped it would cause me to be incarcerated for the rest of my life to protect not just they but also all of the other conspiracy members.

I have searched everywhere for this letter to no avail. Obviously when my parents, Gloria Sumter and Leonard Sumter Jr., stayed at my apartment (without my permission) in Atlanta, Georgia on December 4th, 2018 and December 5th, 2018, they destroyed this letter. This is Tampering With Evidence, a felony, and violates OCGA 16-10-94(a). Since they were unaware of all the affiidavits I had written and hidden, they were unable to also destroy those.

This is also Theft by Taking and violates OCGA 16-8-2 and Theft by Deception and violates OCGA 16-8-3(a).

[heavenforblog1111]

Tokio Hotel was formed in 2001 by singer Bill Kaulitz, guitarist Tom Kaulitz , drummer Gustav Schafer and bassist Georg Listing in Germany. Their songs belonged to different genres like pop rock, electronic rock and alternative rock. Some of their most hit songs are Monsoon, Dark Side of the Sun etc. Now, these rock group was extremely successful as far as I remember from 2007-2010. 2007 was the year that I got to know about them and they won countless awards too. However, past 2012 I believe most of us never got to hear about them ever since. They released a song called Feel It All which I remember was launched in 2014. It is one of my favorite songs so I remember that was the last song I listened to from the band. The band has sung songs in both English and German. Some of their songs have both English as well as German versions. Kings of Suburbia was launched in 2014. The album contained songs like ' Love Who Loves You Back ', 'Feel It All' etc. After that their last album till date was released called 'The Dream Machine'. The first two songs called 'Something New' and 'What If' was released on 23 December and 29th December 2016 respectively. So, 'The Dream Machine' is their 6th and the last studio album till now. The amount of success they have had has reduced by a large extent over the years. Most of their songs from the recent albums don't really figure anywhere on the chart. So, one could say their music performance has decreased with time. That could be a major reason why they are not that talked about anymore. The band is still pretty active though. They announced in 2018 that they would embark on a new tour called 'The Melancholic Paradise Tour' in 2019 and singles like ' "Melancholic Paradise", "When It Rains It Pours" and "Chateau"' were released in 2019 which were part of their upcoming seventh album. Melancholic Paradise didn't sound that well to me but the other 2 songs seem fine. When It Rains It Pours is my favorite song from their latest album yet. The band had completed 3 venues of their North American and Latin American Tour but the rest of the Tour had to be cancelled due to the COVID 19 pandemic. As far as their songs are concerned, they are still making good songs worth listening. Their style has changed a lot since 2007, which is understandable. They usually don't make alternative rock songs often which might not fit well with old school fans. Most of their current songs seem to have an electronic feel to them. It is pretty acceptable since all bands change their style after some time. Although, their songs may not seem to be as good as what they used to be back in 2007, I feel that the band is doing just fine.

[blinkaholik1]

ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS Visual AIDS Day With(OUT) Art 2018

A Doula’s Guide to ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS was created by the What Would An HIV Doula Do? (WWHIVDD) collective and students from the Fall 2018 class, “Life During Memorialization: History and the Ongoing Epidemic of HIV/AIDS in the USA” at The New School: Annalisa Dick, Brad Walrond, El Roy Red, E G Condon, Emily Colucci, Justin Yockel , Katherine Cheairs, Ollin ROdriguez Lopez, Rupert McCranor, Sur Rodney (Sur), Tamara Oyola Santiago, and Theordore (ted) Kerr.

Text by Theodore (ted) Kerr Designed by LPS Edited by Visual AIDS

Day With(out) Art 2018 logo design adn Cover illustration by Nelson Santos

Day With(out) Art 2018 public programming and resource guide is supported by a Humanities New York Action Grant.

Visual AIDS’ Day With(out) Art programming is also funded in part by general operating and programming grants from Alphawood Foundation, The Lambent Foundation Fund of Tides Foundation, The Shelley and Donald Rubin Foundation, Marta Heflin Foundation, the New York City Department of Cultural Affairs in partnership with the City Council, and individual donors.

ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS

Visual AIDS presents ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS to mark the 29th aniversary of the Day With(out) Art. On World’s AIDS Day December 1, 1989, the first Day With(out) Art was created by the Visual AISD as a national day of mourning in response to the AIDS crisis. ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS highlights the impact of art in AIDS activism and advocacy today by commissioned short videos from six inspiring community organizations and collectives--ACT UP NY, Positive Women’s Network - USA, Sero Project, The SPOT, Tacoma Action Collective, and VOCAL-NY. The program represents a wide range or organizational strategies, from direct action to grassroots service providers to nationwide movement building, while considering the role of creative practices in activist responses to the ongoing AIDS crisis. ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS seeks to reflect the urgencies of today’s HIV/AIDS epidemic by pointing to pressing political concerns. In their commissioned videos, organizations address political concerns. In their commissioned videos, organizations address intersecting issues anti-Black violence, HIV criminalization, homelessness, and the disproportionate effects of HIV on marginalized AIDS activism, ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS foregrounds contemporary engagements between activists, artists, and cultural workers on the front lines.

Visual AIDS commissioned the What Would An HIV Doula Do? collective to develop this resource guide as a supplement to Day With(out) Art 2018.

View and share these videos online starting December 3: http://visualAIDS.org/projects/detail/alternate-endings-activist-rising

A Doula’s Guide To ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS

What Would An HIV Doula Do? is a collective of artists, activists, AIDS service employees, chaplains, doulas, and others living with and/or impacted by HIV who understand that community engagement needs to be more visible and better supported in order to maintain and build on gains made over 40 years of AIDS activism. Historically, a doula is someone who provides holistic service to a person during childbirth. Increasingly, doulas have also been used for end of life care, abortions and in considering gender. In thinking about what would an HIV doula do, we have come to understand a doula as someone who holds space and provides support in times of transitions that start long before someone takes a tes, and continues long after someone might start HIV treatment, regardless of their HIV status. Since we began two years ago, we have been using public meetings, writing workshops, art making and social media to bring meetings, writing workshops, art making and social media to bring people together to take action and discuss the epidemic. It was a great honor when Visual AIDS asked us if we would create the ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS resource guide to support the videos made by grassroots AIDS activist collectives and groups. For us, these organizations represent the truth that just as no one contracts HIV alone, no one should have to deal with HIV alone either. We need community to support us in our well-being, fears, successes, and expression. To make the guide, we gathered over two nights in small groups. We watched, journaled and discussed together. Among the first things, to be said was how happy we were to see people on screen who are too rarely shown talking about HIV, including youth, black women, people from the South, and people actually living either HIV. With that in mind, we were also aware of who was not on screen, what issues were not discussed, and the limits of any project to fully represent the breadth of the ongoing epidemic. Watching the videos was a reminder that before there was a medical, governmental, or even artistic response to the AIDS crisis, there was a community activist response. It was people living with illness, their loved ones, and related and concerned communities who were the first to serve as end-of-life doulas, caretakers, Peter educators, advocates and witnesses. Similarly, the project is also an echo of early AIDS video activists from DIVA TV, Women AIDS Video Enterprise (WAVE), Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC) and Bebashi, who picked up cameras to document their work as a form of media activism, resource sharing, and community building. Watching all the works together, we appreciate that while each video stood strong on its own, it was helpful to consider the works in conversation with each other, and across time and various AIDS activist histories. As we considered the type of guide we wanted to share, we knew we wanted to make something that opened up the experience of viewing, facilitating the kind of conversation we were able to have. To do that, we knew that our guide would have to do more than just share information; it would have to provide a process. In the end, we hope we have made a doula tool, a resource that holds space for communities of viewers transitioning from what they thought they knew coming into screening, to having more information, and from individual reactions to group discussion. As you watch, we hope you will be inspired to ask yourself and others: What can we do to reduce the harm of HIV, and end AIDS crisis tomorrow?

There are WWHIVDD chapters in New York City and St. Louis. For more info: HIVDOULA.work

Vocal-NY

Vocal-NY.org

Started in 1999, VOCAL (Voices Of Community Activists & Leaders) is a grassroots membership organization based in New York State that builds power among low-income people affected by HIV/AIDS, hepatitis C, the drug war, homelessness, and mass incarceration in order to create healthy and just communities. In the film, we see activist footage of VOCAL demonstrations from the New York State Capital to New York City streets. using direct action, music, humor, statistics, memorialization and what they describes as “political theater,” we see VOCAL activating a multitude of creative tactics to reduce the harm of HIV and end AIDS epidemic in the state. VOCAL’s tactics remind us that there is still a place for direct action, although the system might have us believing otherwise.

Questions

Why is housing important for people living with HIV? What does stable housing and access to care make possible for someone who is living with illness?

Jawanza James Williams from VOCAL-NY suggests that one of the major lessons from AIDS activism history is the power of people putting their bodies on the line. How does VOCaL continue working in that tradition? Have you put your body on the line? If so, what did that look like? How did it feel? What were some of the results?

Go Further

● Housing is not just a New York State issue. To find out more about the US Federal Housing Assistance program, search online for Housing Opportunities for Persons With AIDS (HOPWA), the only federal program dedicated to addressing the housing needs of people living with HIV and AIDS as well as their families. ● Along with housing, VOCAL is also focused on the ongoing impacts of the opioid crisis and the war on drugs. Are you interested in learning more about this worldwide issue? Look online for the Open Society Foundation publication: The War on Drugs and HIV/AIDS: How the Criminalization of Drug Use Fuels the Global Pandemic. Also, visit vocal-nyc.org and check out their Drug Policy page to see what they are fighting for and the successes they have had, including successfully campaigning to legalize medical marijuana in New York.

Act Up NY ACTUPNY.com

Since 1987, ACT UP NY has held weekly Monday meetings, most often at the LGBT Community Center. Their early demonstrations, media campaigns, and direct actions promoted an intersectional understanding of HIV and AIDS as an issue of race, class and gender as well as a medical matter; they were also successful in getting drugs into bodies by lowering drug prices and changing the process for drug trials. They transformed mourning into public action with political funerals and their influential protects against the National Institute of Health, Centers for Disease Control, Catholic Church, and US government harnessed the collective rage and despair of the first decades of the AIDS crisis. In 2018, an arm of the collective organized #HIVPreventionDay in conjunction with the Prep4All, calling on Gilead Sciences to release their patent for Truvada, a drug that has the ability to reduce HIV transmission by 99%. In this video, the ACT UP Graphics and Visual Tactics Working Group pairs audio from planning meetings with seven sites in New York while sharing values and s tragedies the collective uses to build power. While much cultural production has been made about the history of ACT UP, this video is one of the few projects ACTUO has made about its own work in recent years.

QUESTIONS

While ACTUP has history of putting bodies, faces, and reputations on the line through cultural production, direct action activism, and meetings with government officials, this video uses anonymity as a tactic to reduce ego from the work. Why do you think they chose to represent themselves in this way? What are the pros and cons of working anonymously?

ACT UP created #HIVPreventionDay, a day of action to raise awareness about HIV prevention and pharmaceutical patents. What are differences between activism that centers people living with HIV versus prevention for people who are HIV negative? How can they be seen as separate strategies? How can they be seen as interconnected and related strategies? Go Further

● In the Fall of 2018, ACT UP held demonstrations at an exhibition of artist David Wojnarowicz’s work at The Whitney Museum of American Art, reminding Museum-goers that “AIDS IS NOT HISTORY” while Aruguing that the museum was contextualizing HIV as an historical issue. After the demonstrations, the Whitney changed wall text within the exhibition to acknowledge the ongoing epidemic and David Wojnarowicz’s in ACT UP, Search Whitney,ACT UP and David Wojnarowicz for further details. ● Briefly mentioned in the film, the IAC stands for the International AIDS Conference, which takes place every two years. It is slated to be hosted in San Francisco and Oakland 2020. Many activists think this is a bad idea, citing travel bans and the increasing violence directed towards sex workers, trans women and other people marginalized by the United States. For more Information, search #AIDS2020ForAll. ● For Day With(out) Art 2012, Visual AIDS presented the film United in Anger, a documentary about the history of ACT UP directed by Jim Hubbard. Search for it online, and check out the Tumblr Visual AIDS made: Wisdom in Being United In Anger. Positive Women’s Network - USA PWN-USA.org Positive Woman’s Network - USA (PWN) is a national membership body of women living with HIV and allies that exists to strengthen the strategic power of all women - trans inclusive - living with HIV in the United States. Founded in 2008 by 28 diverse women leaders living with HIV, PWN-USA develops a leadership pipeline and policy agenda that applies the lens of gender to the domestic HIV epidemic grounded in social justice and human rights. Every day, PWN-USA inspires, informs and mobilizes women living with HIV to advocate for changes that improve lives and uphold rights. In this video, viewers are invited in as women create masks at the 2018 Positive Women’s Network summit in Florida and screenprint bags at the home of a PWN member in Colorado, providing us a view into the intimate places of mutual care they have created together across the nation. Throughout the film, the power of community is discussed as a source of strategic strength. As PWN members Kimberly Wilson suggests, “the more casual the environment, the more willing people are to say more,” and as a result, the more her community is able to lend a hand.

QUESTIONS

The film begins with activist and PWN member Barb Cardell explaining that, “In the early days when we didn’t have anything but our anger, when we didn’t have medication, we didn’t have an HIV test, we had art.” Decades later, now with medication and HIV tests, Barb and her peers are still making art. Why do you think they continue to create?

PWN organizing director Waheedah Shabazz-El makes a distinction between a support group and advocacy. What do you think differences are between the two?

GO FURTHER

● Until 1993, the US Centers for Disease Control’svdefinition of AIDS did not include opportunistic infections that impacted women, a systemic failure that meant that living with HIV were being denied possible life saving treatment and state support provided to men with AIDS. To learn more about the role that women like Katrina Haslip, Terry McGovern, and others played in making this change, look for the film NOTHING WITHOUT US: The Women Who Will End AIDS and search YouTube for Women of ACT UP NY History. ● Decades into the epidemic, women continue to have to fight to be counted and considered. Medical trails constantly are conducted involving only cisgender men. To read more about this inequality, visit AIDSMaps.com and look up Roger Pebody’s article, Women Underrepresented In HIV Clinical Trials.

The Spot fb.me/jmmfc4m/ The SPOT (Safe Place Over Time) is dedicated to providing services and opportunities to wellness, empowerment, and leadership to young men in Jackson, Mississippi. In her 2017 New York Times Magazine article “America’s Hidden H.I.V. Epidemic,” Linda Villarosa highlighted the ongoing urgency of the HIV epidemic in the American South, particularly in Jackson, where 40 percent of gay and bisexual men are living with HIV-the nation’s highest rate. In this film we spend time with Cedric, Jermerious, and Regi, who were all highlighted in Villarosa’s article, and are invited into a tight-knit community of people using expression, gender play, dance, and other tools to save each other’s lives. The impact of creativity, along with treatment and other forms of care, are vital. As Regi says at The SPOT on camera, “dancing is a healing art.”

Questions

In the film we see young men at The SPOT holding blue mirrors. Known as the “Man in the Mirror” excercise, it is an opportunity for people to really see themselves. What could be the impacts of doing this excessive with your community?

Regi shares his term “hoe-ography,” reclaiming what is traditionally a negative term to encourage people to improve their relationship to their bodies. In a sense, Reginis in conversation with Michael Vallen and Richard Berkowitz who laid out the framework for safer sex and advocated for mutual affection as a form of AIDS care in their 1983 publication How to Have Sex in an Epidemic. How can you continue this tradition of sex positivity to reduce the harm of HIV?

The film begins with a shot of a building in Jackson. For the rest of the film we are inside The SPOT. What does this tell you about the need for safe space and the importance of community privacy? What does your community need to thrive and express? Go Further ● Suggested viewing: Wilhelmina’s War, about HIV’s impact on family in southern United States, and Endgame, a broader look at HIV within Black communities around the US, including parts of the American South. Both are on PBS.org and are powerful to watch j. A group or with a class, clips are available online. Another related video to look up is Ellen Spiri & Cheryl Dunye’s DiAna’s Hair Ego REMIX, commissioned by Visual AIDS in 2017. ● People can connect to their bodies at The SPOT. In his book, Anti-Black Racism and the AIDS Epidwmic, Adam Geary urges us to see how it is not what we do with our bodies that most often determines our health but the limits of what we can do with and for our bodies as imposed by the state. For more information, look for Adam Geary’s interview titled “Anti-Black racism has been central to the structuring HIV vulnerability in the US and globally” on the Visual AIDS website. Tacoma Action Collective StopErasingBlackPeople.com

Founded in 2015, the Tacoma Action Collective is a partnership of Black community organizations working in grassroots action and education. In this video, members of the collective make conversations between anti-Black racism, Black Lives Matter, cultural production, HIV/AIDSnand self care through an exploration of their process as artists, activists, writers and community healers. Tacoma Action Collective responds to interconnected structural violence with the demand #StopErasingBlackPeople. In their video, awe see their 2015 die-in protest intervening against the Lack of Black artists in the exhibjtijnspmAtt AIDS America at the Tacoma RT Museum, their work at the 2016 international AIDS Conference in South Africa, and examples of street art being made.

QUESTIONS

Protesters have “I Am Sandra Bland” sign in the film, referring to the activists from Illinois who was killed in 2015 while unjustly held by police. TAC works “to eliminate systematic oppression and structural violence.” For you, what is the connection between police violence and HIV/AIDS? How do you see HIV as being related to systems and structures of oppression?

In its initial iteration, Art AIDS America only included five Black artists km a toaster of over 100 artist, despite the fact that HIV disaproportionately why is it I,Portland to hold museums and cultural institutions responsible for how they represent cultural histories? GO FURTHER ● From the Tuskegee syphilis experiment, to the dehumanizing experiments of Dr. J. Marion Sims, to the exploitation of Henrietta Lacks, there is a documented history of medical violence and bias against Black people. This creates mistrust, and makes the efforts of doctors, nurses and others doing culturally competent care that much more worthy of attention. Learn more: search the underlined word above and consider a book club with Harriet A. Washington’s Medical Apartheid and Killing the Black Body by Dorthy Roberts. ● Decolonize The Place is a collective calling for, among other things the reparations of African and indigenous objects, a commitment from museums to have increased diversity of curatorial staff and leadership, and occupied indegous land acknowledgement. Learn more about their work at decoloizethisplace.org ● We would be a lesser world were it not for organizations like the Black Panthers, the literary collective Other Countries, The Philadelphia based liberations MOVE, “Where We At?” Black Women Artists, Inc, and The Counter Narrative Project. Why are these groups seldom taught and rarely canonized? Add to this list and peer educate. Sero Project SeroProject.com Sero Project is a US-based network of people living HIV (PLHIV) and allies fighting for freedom from stigma and injustice. The name Sero Project refers to “serostatus,” which is another way to say HIV status. Sero is particularly focused on ending the inappropriate use of use’s HIV status in criminal and potential or perceived HIV exposure. The criminal justice system considers HIV a deadly weapon, and in many states exposing someone to HIV is a crime, regardless of condom use, viral loaf, or actual risk of transmission. For people living with HIV, a contentious relationship, a personal misunderstanding, or even a minor infraction of the law can lead to prison sentences of over thirty years, sensationalized media coverage, and registration as a sex offender. With the Positive Women’s Network-USA, Sero Project produced the biennial HIV is Not a Crime training academy to support advocates mobilizing at the grassroots level for HIV criminalization reform. The 2018 conference included a showcase of visual art and poetry made by advocates working against HIV criminalization. In this film, four of the featured artists are interviewed, discussing creativity and the impact of criminalization on their life chances and spirit.

QUESTIONS

In the film we see Contonnia’s painting which depicts his three hearts impacted by stigma. If you were to make a similar painting, what would your three hearts represent?

Do you think the police and the criminal justice system can be effective tools for responding to the HIV/AIDS epidemic? How might they exacerbate health disparities and inequality in access to treatment and healthcare?

Thinking with others, what are the impacts of HIV criminalization on individuals and communities living with HIV? For people in prison? GO FURTHER ● Visual AIDS collaboration with Avram Finkelstein to create a broadside project to educate about HIV criminalization. Search online for You Care About HIV Criminialization (You Just Don’t Know It Yet) for more Facts about criminal and print your own copy. ● Over 30 states across the US have HIV-specific laws that criminalize people living with the virus, and states without specific laws have been living with HIV. Find out more about your state going online to The Center for HIV Law and Policy. ● In the past few years, more research on HIV criminalization and its history has been published. Consider a book club for: Punishising Disease: HIV and the Criminization of Sickness by Trevor Hoppe; Making Media Work For HIV Justice by Olivia G. Ford and Positive Women’s Network - USA, on behalf of HIV Justice Worldwide; and Cell Count, edited by Kyle Croft and Asher Mones for Visual AIDS. ● To listen to the impacts of HIV criminalization on people who hear been prosecuted, search Sero Project Videos. Share what you learn. Organize a group listening session. Glossary Below is additional information that could be helpful for watching ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS.

What words, terms, and definitions would you add?

AIDS ACTIVIST VIDEO is a direct descendant of a rich and varied tradition of alternative cinema. The immediate impetus for AIDS activist video was the deadly, inadequate government response and the meager and antagonistic reporting of the mainstream media. Videomakers felt compelled to tell the real story of AIDS from the point of view of People With AIDS (PWAs), The tapes portrayed PWAs as neither victims nor pariahs, but as empowered activists taking charge of their health in both the political and medical arenas. This was not the whole story, but it served as a necessary counterpoint to the relentlessly negative depictions by the mainstream media. (source: Jim Hubbard)

ANTI-BLACKNESS can be understood through a quote a prompt from Ta-Nehisi Coates: “If there’s one thing missing in our country, it’s an acknowledgement of the broad humanity of Black folks. Racism-and anti-Black racism in par-is the belief that there’s something wrong with Black people.” Anti-Blackness encompasses systemic historical, cultural, political, and economic violence. (source: Aorta)

DECOLONIZATION is the active principle that attempts to identify, confront, call out and resist state violence, including Eurocentric dominance, white supremacy, racism, ethnic cleansing, genocide, slavery, land theft, imposed treaties, broken promises, relocation, forced assimilation, government manipulation, corporate control, psychic violence and all the associated forms of oppression that continue to impact indigenous people and people of color in the Americas. Decolonization attempts to undo the colonization of the individual, the community and the earth with protest, social justice activism, civil disobedience, education, cultural projects and legal battles. (source: Unsettling America, Decolonization in Theory & Practice)

DIRECT ACTION activism can be understood as having three fundamental principles:

Win concrete improvements in people’s lives;

Make people aware of their own power;

Alter the relations of power between people, the government, and other institutions by building strong permanent local, state and national organizations. (source: Bread & Roses Community Fund) GRASSROOTS organizing happen when people are drawn together by something that they have in common that has both personal and community consequences, and they grant desire without institutional support. (source: Janis Foster) The HUMANE IMMUNODEFICIENCY VIRUS (HIV) attacks the body’s immune system, specifically the CD4 cells (T cells), reducing their number, making the person more likely to get other infections or infection related cancers. If not treated, HIV can lead to AIDS (aqcuired immunodeficiency syndrome). People are diagnosed with AIDS with their CD4 cell count drops 200 cells per cubic millimeters or if they develop certain opportunistic illnesses. (source: Centers for Disease Control)

HIV CRIMINALIZATION refers to the use criminal law to penalize alleged, perceived or potential HIV exposure; alleged non disclosure of a known HIV-positive status prior to intentional HIV transmission. (source: AIDS Watch)

INTERSECTIONALITY is a term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, who says “Intersectionality is a lens through which you can see where power power comes from and collides, where it interlocks and intersects. It’s not simply that there’s a race problem here, a gender problem here, and a class or LGBTQ problem there. Many times that framework erases what happens to people who are subject to all of these things.” (source: Kimberlé Crenshaw)

PRE-EXPOSURE PROPHYLAXIS (or PrEP) is when HIV-negative people take daily HIV medicine called Truvada to lower their chances of getting the virus. Gilead, the pharmaceutical company that manufacturers Truvada, currently controls the patent and pricing for this drug. (source: Centers for Disease Control)

STRUCTURAL VIOLENCE is one way of describing social arrangements that put individuals and populations in harm’s way. The arrangements are structural because they are embedded in the political and economic organization of our social world; they are violent because they cause injury to people. (source: Paul Farmer)

SOCIAL PRACTICE can include any art form which involves people and communities in debate, collaboration or social interaction. This can often be organised as the result of an outreach or education program, but many independent artists also use it within their work. A dinner, a health clinic, or a dance party can all be considered artworks from the perspective of social practice. (source: Tate Museum)

UNDETECTABLE refers how regularly taking HIV medication can lower the amount of HIV in your blood (aka your viral load) to an undetectable level. People who are undetectable (or, you can say, whose viral load is suppressed) cannot transmit the virus to others. This doesn’t mean you no longer have HIV-it means that by continuing your plan of treatment, you can live with HIV by managing your health on your own terms. (source: Housing Works)

WHITE SUPREMACY can be understood through this quote by Frances Lee Ansley: “I do not mean to allude only to the self-conscious racism of white supremist hate groups. I refer instead to political, economic and cultural system in which whites overwhelmingly control power and material resources, conscious and unconscious ideas of white superiority and entitlement are widespread, and relations of white dominance and non-white subordination are daily reenacted across a broad array of institutions and social setting.” (source: Frances Lee Ansley)

Day With(out) Art In 1989, to make the public aware that AIDS can touch everyone and to inspire positive action, Visual AIDS presented the first Day to cover up their artwork, darkened their galleries, and even close for the day - symbolically reorient the chilling possibility of a furture without art or artist. Since then, Day With(out) Art has grown into a collaborative annual project in which organizations worldwide present exhibitions, screenings and public programs to highlight work by HIV+ artists and artwork addressing current issues around the ongoing AIDS pandemic. ALTERNATE ENDINGS, ACTIVIST RISINGS is the 29th annual Day With(out) Art project.

Visual AIDS

Founded in 1988, Visual AIDS is the only contemporary arts organization fully committed to HIV prevention and AIDS awareness through producing and presenting visual art projects, while assisting artists living with HIV/AIDS and the artistic contributions of the AIDS movement.

AlternateEndingsActivistRisings

DayWithoutArt2018

VisualAIDS

526 West 26th Street #510 New York, NY 10001 (212) 627-9855 info@visualAIDS.org

Facebook: visualAIDS Instagram: @visual_AIDS Vimeo: visualAIDSSnyc www.visualAIDS.org

[wikiuntamed]

Top 5 @Wikipedia pages from a year ago: Tuesday, 14th February 2023

Welcome, karibu, croeso, bienvenue 🤗 What were the top pages visited on @Wikipedia (14th February 2023) 🏆🌟🔥?

1️⃣: Valentine's Day "Valentine's Day, also called Saint Valentine's Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine, is celebrated annually on February 14. It originated as a Christian feast day honoring a martyr named Valentine and through later folk traditions, it has also become a significant cultural, religious and commercial..."

Image by Chordboard

2️⃣: Rihanna "Robyn Rihanna Fenty ( ree-AN-ə; born February 20, 1988) is a Barbadian singer, businesswoman, actress, and songwriter. She is widely regarded as one of the most prominent recording artists of the 21st century. She signed with Def Jam Recordings in 2005, and soon gained mainstream recognition..."

Image licensed under CC BY 3.0? by SIGMA

3️⃣: Saint Valentine "Saint Valentine (Italian: San Valentino; Latin: Valentinus) was a 3rd-century Roman saint, commemorated in Western Christianity on February 14 and in Eastern Orthodoxy on July 6. From the High Middle Ages, his Saints' Day has been associated with a tradition of courtly love. He is also a patron..."

Image by Unknown authorUnknown author

4️⃣: Nikki Haley "Nimarata Nikki Haley (née Randhawa; born January 20, 1972) is an American politician and diplomat who served as the 116th governor of South Carolina from 2011 to 2017 and as the 29th United States ambassador to the United Nations from January 2017 to December 2018. A member of the Republican Party,..."

Image licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0? by Gage Skidmore

5️⃣: Patrick Mahomes "Patrick Lavon Mahomes II (; born September 17, 1995) is an American football quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs of the National Football League (NFL). Since becoming the Chiefs' starting quarterback in 2018, Mahomes has led the team to four Super Bowl appearances and is one of five quarterbacks..."

Image licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0? by All-Pro Reels from District of Columbia, USA

[playiplt20]

Virat Kohli ended a significant drought during the second Test against the West Indies at Queen’s Park Oval by scoring his first international century overseas since 2018. Prior to this innings, his last century in overseas Tests occurred in December 2018 while India was on tour in Australia.

[shahananasrin-blog]

[ad_1] File image of Virat Kohli© AFPVirat Kohli can't stop getting to new highs it seems. Playing his 500th international match, the former Indian cricket team captain made the occasion extra special by scoring his 76th international ton and his 29th Test ton. This is Kohli's first hundred in an overseas Test since December, 2018. That, the long wait came to an end in his milestone match, which is also the 100th Test between India and West Indies, made the feat memorable. Also, Kohli now has the most number of international tons in 500 matches, surpassing Sachin Tendulkar, who scored 75 international tons in his first 500 international matches.Kohli is also the first-ever player to score a century in his 500th international match. Kohli now has joint second-most number of tons against West Indies. His tally of 12 centuries is only behind Sunil Gavaskar's mark of 13 centuries. South Africa's Jacques Kallis also has 12 tons.Earlier, on Day 1 of the second Test, Openers Rohit Sharma (80 off 143) and Yashasvi Jaiswal (57 off 74) shared a brisk 139-run stand to provide another perfect launch pad before the West Indies struck four times in the afternoon session to put brakes on India's scoring rate on Thursday.Kohli (87 batting off 161) and Ravindra Jadeja (36 batting off 84) played some exquisite strokes in the final session and ensured India collected 106 runs in 33.2 overs without losing a wicket. Kohli, who got off the mark with a straight drive after consuming 20 dot balls, will head into day two just 13 runs shy of his first hundred in an overseas Test since December 2018. Majority of his six boundaries came on the off side including a picture perfect cover drive off a Kemar Roach half-volley in the 57th over.With PTI inputsTopics mentioned in this article [ad_2]

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Errol Spence Jr vs. Terence Crawford - A Showdown for the Ages

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By Sina Latif

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Published: May 31, 2023

Deal is signed, fight is official ✍️ #SpenceCrawford pic.twitter.com/GpJ0B0Fhd1

— ESPN Ringside (@ESPNRingside) May 25, 2023

Errol Spence Jr. vs. Terence Crawford will take place on July 29th at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas on Showtime PPV for the undisputed welterweight championship.

For a long time, Errol Spence Jr vs. Terence Crawford was a fight that fans felt they had lost. It won’t happen, or if it does, it’ll be too late. It was a much-clamored fight since 2018, when Crawford made a move up to 147 lbs, to no end. With every fight both men had that was not named Spence or Crawford in the opposite corner, it just would not suffice. These two are destined to determine one another’s legacy. They are natural generational rivals. Now it’s actually happening.

Gervonta Davis vs. Ryan Garcia was huge because of the fight’s transcendence beyond the boxing fanbase. Heavyweight showdowns between Tyson Fury and Oleksandr Usyk for the undisputed championship and Anthony Joshua vs. Deontay Wilder, a fight between two of the leading heavyweight contenders and former big-punching champions, are colossal.

However, purely from a quality vs. quality standpoint, pound-for-pound vs. pound-for-pound, it does not get better than Spence vs. Crawford for all four belts in an undisputed welterweight showdown.

They’re a combined 67-0 with 52 KOs. They have both been pound-for-pound top five mainstays for the past few years. They may not be young studs anymore, with Crawford aged 35 and Spence 33, but neither man has shown any signs of decline yet, and both still appear in their prime. These two are simply the two best fighters of their generation in the same weight class, which happens to be the historically revered welterweight division; both still at their peak, with all the physical gifts, talents, and intangibles in the world, contesting for undisputed supremacy. It does not get any better.

Sugar Ray Leonard vs. Thomas Hearns in 1981. Felix Trinidad vs Oscar De La Hoya in 1999. Floyd Mayweather Jr vs. Manny Pacquiao in 2015. Now, this generation is getting its welterweight super-fight.

This is the biggest welterweight match-up since Mayweather vs. Pacquiao, bar none. The only difference is, unlike Mayweather vs. Pacquiao, this fight is arguably not past its expiration date. Mayweather was 38 when they fought, and Pacquiao was 36. Both men were top pound-for-pound fighters at the time, but both were also clearly past their best. Mayweather only fought twice more, if you want to count that glorified Conor McGregor exhibition bout, a clear indicator that his days were nearing an end. Pacquiao was no longer the dynamic merchant he was a few years earlier. The ideal time for that match-up would have been 2010 or 2011.

Spence and Crawford are not much younger than Mayweather, and Pacquiao were when they fought, but these two appear fresher. Crawford has stopped his last 10 opponents, with his two most recent wins being a statement knock-out of Shawn Porter in November 2021 and a devastating KO of David Avanesyan in December 2022. Crawford turns 36 in September. Father Time could creep up on him at any moment, but that has yet to happen. Spence survived a terrible car crash in late 2019, lucky to prevail alive, and has since defeated Danny Garcia via unanimous decision in December 2020 and stopped Yordenis Ugas in April 2022 to unify three 147 lbs titles.

Spence and Crawford have simultaneously been champions at welterweight for five years. Spence has been a welterweight champion since stopping Kell Brook in May 2017, and Crawford became a champion at 147 lbs when he stopped Jeff Horn in June 2018. They have a combined 12 title defenses, with six defenses apiece. Crawford is the WBO king, and Spence is the unified WBC, WBA, and IBF champion.

Spence is not a pressure fighter in the same mold as Julio Cesar Chavez Sr or an aggressive brawler like Ray Mancini, but he does employ an educated, subtle, and relentless attack behind his strong southpaw jab. That consistent jab frequently sets up left-hand blows to head and body, with Spence arguably the most effective and accurate body puncher in boxing today. Spence has great footwork and is a master at controlling distance, but also really knows how to work his way on the inside. A combination of aggression, volume, body punching, and power from a man who is so physically strong at the weight but has also mastered the fundamentals of the Sweet Science makes Spence an extremely difficult opponent to prepare for.

Crawford is a complete fighter. He can box. He can punch. He can fight equally as effectively on the front foot and back foot and from either stance. He has power in both hands. Crawford has the ability to make adjustments mid-fight, unlike any other active fighter, with great instincts, and is a great counter-puncher. He is also arguably the best finisher in the sport today. Once an opponent is hurt, Crawford is ice-cold in the manner he does not let his opponents off the hook.

With the vast skill set at both fighters’ disposal, both men also have the heart, will, and toughness to grit it out and win a war of attrition when needed.

Spence and Crawford have it all. That’s what makes this fight so special.

The past greats had talent, but they became all-time greats because of a worthy rival that made them display what they were made of. Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier had one another. The Four Kings had one another. Sugar Ray Robinson and Jake LaMotta’s rivalry cemented each other’s legacy and defined an era. Every true great needs a dance partner.

After everything Spence and Crawford have achieved, this is their chance to finally cement their greatness.

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Secret Takeaways The World Cup is underway, with crypto business getting in on the act OKX has actually released an NFT competition, with consumers able to mint 3 complimentary NFTs Brazil the favourites, however European countries have actually won every competition because 2002 It's World Cup time. Absolutely the greatest sporting competitors in the world, the World Cup is a really international occasion. While this edition might be ruined by human rights abuses and the corrupt nature in which it was granted, 32 countries have actually however come together to choose who will rule supreme for the next 4 years. Crypto world leverages World Cup for direct exposure Even within the world of cryptocurrency, the World Cup has an effect. There was Cristiano Ronaldo introducing an NFT collection on Binance. While this would have been otherwise noteworthy, it was buried in the news due to the fact that it came in the middle of Binance CEO Changpeng Zhao arguing with Sam Bankman-Fried on Twitter, which eventually resulted in the outrageous collapse of FTX. Lionel Messi taking Ronaldo's spotlight (what an objective that was versus Mexico), and then Sam Bankman-Fried. The person can't capture a break. Somewhere else within NFTs, OKX has actually introduced an OKX Football Cupa competitors which enables gamers to mint NFTs and contend for rewards. While I have actually been crucial of the NFT market for its absence of worth as part of the flailing metaverseI do enjoy my football. Therefore, in spite of my existing apprehension towards NFTs, with the choice to mint totally free NFTs for 3 various groups, I chose to have an enjoyable appearance and see which groups were finest positioned to win the World Cup. I ought to caution, that these NFTs with OKX are not strictly complimentary. Clients are still needed to pay gas costs, which on Ethereum can be rather high-- and in reality put me off minting one myself. As long as you mint prior to the group phase ends on December 3rdyou will have the ability to go into the competitors, and the gas charge will be the only charge. Who will win the World Cup? In choosing who are the very best groups to mint, I initially charted the chances of each group winning the competition. For this, I pulled the bookie chances, since Tuesday 29th November (this is prior to the resolution of the England/US group this night). At 27.4%, Brazil are considered the most likely group to win the competition. Personally, I 'd enjoy to see them do it. The nationwide group of Brazil is absolutely nothing except renowned, and having actually not held the prize up because 2002, it would be great to see them do it. European groups have actually won the last 4 World Cups given that Brazil beat Germany 2-0 in Yokohama, Japan in 2002. Italy were victors 4 years later on in 2006 (thanks to a Zinedine Zidane psychological breakdown), Spain thrived in 2010 as part of their utter supremacy of global football, Germany beat Argentina in 2014 and France topped an adventurous Croatian clothing in 2018. Is it an excellent concept to mint Brazil? In reality, the response to who to mint here is simple. It's the leading 3 favourites: Brazil, France and Spain. With their possibilities of winning numbered at 27.4%, 14.7% and 12.2% respectively, there is a 53% opportunity that a person of the trio raises the prize up. Where is the enjoyable in choosing the favourites? My heart states Argentina, as it would be a happiness to view the little genius, Lionel Messi, stroll off into the sundown with the greatest reward of all under his arm. Having actually viewed the Argentinians battle strongly so far, their 10% chances of winning appear generous. For me, in the lack of my own nation from the competition (Ireland) I'm cheering on the 2 South American countries. As a European, it's great seeing Spain, France and the likes playing well, however I'm all set to see the South Americans reclaim their crown.

Deep down, I believe Spain or France might do it. I do not understand why I do not rely on Brazil, as gifted as their team is. A knock to Neymar will not assist either. Hey, who understands. That's why we enjoy the video games, I think. Share this postClassifications Find out more

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