#since I've gotten this question a few times from people wanting to watch

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Hello!!!! I’ve been following you for ages and I know that you’re a big CritRole fan. I’ve never really been able to get into it, cuz the thought of going back and watching it all from scratch is supremely intimidating. However. I finished all of EXU Calamity in a weekend (and lost my entire fucking mind) and I’m really enjoying TLOVM show. Do you have any tips for watching any parts of C1, C2, or C3 in addition to that? Or would it be smarter to wait for C4 to start and go fresh from there?

Hello dear, lovely to hear from you. I hope you're doing well.

Critical Role is very intimidating to get into. I was fortunate that I got into it early on, roughly a year after they started filming, so it didn't take me as long to catch up. Anyone trying to get into it now is going to feel daunted, that's for sure. Unfortunately, D&D sessions do tend to run long, I know my group's average is 4 hours and we used to run for up to six when we had more open schedules.

Calamity is a fantastic place for any newbie to start. There are other oneshots and mini-campaigns they've done too, like Taliesin's eldtrich horror mini campaign, the Undeadwood campaign, and Marisha's Honey Heist and its sequel. Calamity introduces you to the world and is just. brilliant improv storytelling from all the players. but it's only six episodes for the complete story. So if anyone reading this ask wants to bite into a good tragedy and wants to know what the whole TTRPG craze is about, Calamity is a great one.

When it comes to the full campaigns... you kind of have to resign yourself to the fact that it'll take a while. Campaign four won't start for another year or two, and so you can wait until then, but that is a bit of time to hold out.

I would personally recommend you listen to campaign one. Campaign two seems to be the favorite for the majority of fans, but since you've already watched TLOVM, which is based on campaign one, that'll give you some background info and a baseline to help you get into the swing of things. The first few episodes will be a bit rough, since the cast is getting used to being filmed in a studio rather than hanging in a living room, but you'll be surprised by how fast you latch onto the characters.

Additionally, I think it's just fun to watch the cast journey from being in a spare room at the Geek & Sundry studios, to their own studio, slowly decorating that studio, then moving to a bigger studio, which is where they'll stay for campaign two. it's just nice, in my opinion, to see those little details as the show grows in real-time.

My friend recommends listening at 1.25 speed, and sometimes she speeds up the combat to 1.5 speed. You can also listen rather than watch, as some of my friends have done, so you can listen (either just put the video on and don't look, or they have created podcast versions of the episodes - nothing changed in content, just made it into an audio file to download) while doing other things like folding laundry. I prefer watching, to see facial expressions and nonverbal reactions, but given that this is a popular option among my friends, I don't think you'll miss anything too vital. And you can always supplement with YouTube compilation videos of reactions and favorite moments!

I can also say that it'll go faster than you think it will. You'll be surprised at how quickly you can blow through a few episodes.

So, yes, either wait a year or two, or resign yourself for a commitment, unfortunately that's kinda how it goes. You can't really skip episodes or only do "highlight" episodes since so much happens in each one, you can miss a lot of context. If that still intimidates you I'd really recommend diving into the other mini campaigns and oneshots they've done like Honey Heist, Undeadwood, etc.

Also, if you liked Calamity, then I recommend Dimension 20. Brennan Lee Mulligan is the game master for that crew, just as he was in Calamity, and their campaigns are a lot shorter. So that can also help you get into the TTRPG show groove. Their campaigns tend to run 15-20 episodes and the mini campaigns are around 6.

Again if you are going to dive into a full CR campaign I recommend the first campaign with Vox Machina since you already know the characters and a lot of the plot arcs - and it's fun to watch TLOVM when you've seen campaign one, since you can see how it's a truncated "this is the legend" version while the CR campaign is "now here's what really happened with these dumbasses." But campaign two is the more popular campaign so there's nothing wrong with starting there.

I hope that all this has been helpful! Good luck on your CR/TTRPG show journey!

[sundrop-writes]

Mister Mxyzptlk

Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader Blurb

Word Count: 800

Sundrop's Main Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of bullying (Stiles being bullied for having a 'weird' name); mentions of Stiles's trauma surrounding his mother's death; obscure comic book references; this is mostly just fluff - very light implications toward sexual themes, flirting and romantic attraction between Stiles and the reader.

A/N: So, the last time I was actively watching Teen Wolf (when S3 and S4 were airing) I thought it was a running gag that Stiles's real name was never revealed and it was just always a mystery to the audience (like how it's a gag in Degrassi that Heather St. Claire's face is never seen). But when I saw a tiktok showing his real name, I was shocked, and then entirely amused by it. And I was also really offended because I'm watching S1 for the first time and the coach calls Stiles's name 'child abuse' and his father doesn't even dispute that, knowing that it's a family name to honour his dead mother's side of the family. And the fact that he is a character whose real name is very hard to pronounce and very few people actually know what it is got me thinking about the comic book character - Mister Mxyzptlk - and I realized that Stiles, being a comic book nerd who is always referencing things like The Incredible Hulk and Batman and Robin, would fucking love that comparison. Thus, this mini fic. Usually, this is an idea I would save and put it as a moment in a longer fic, but I'm not currently working a fic where I feel like this fits in, so it has become its own mini fic. Random idea, but enjoy this random fluff.

...

"Is Stiles your real name?"

You inquired lightly, walking out of school with Scott and Stiles.

"It's something I've been wondering since we met."

Stiles felt a unique anxiety clutch in his chest at this question. He hated telling people his real name, especially when those people were pretty girls. Especially when they were pretty girls he had only met a week ago who were new in town who otherwise didn't know what a reputation he had for being a loser and could form their own opinions of him.

He could see any chance he had with you being flushed down the drain at top speed. But it wasn't much different from any other girl he previously had a crush on.

"Cause, I thought maybe it was your last name. Guys who play sports usually do that - always call each other by their last names." You went on, not sensing the awkwardness as Scott and Stiles eyed each other heavily, waiting for the other person to speak. "But I heard the coach calling you Balinski?"

"Stilinski." Stiles corrected you. "I think he gets my name wrong on purpose to belittle me." He gave a fake laugh to play it off, but you frowned.

"Stiles is a nickname." Scott added on, trying to usher Stiles away from the awkwardness of having to tell you himself. "His real first name is... really hard to pronounce, and not a lot of people at our school even know it. So - everyone just knows him as Stiles."

This brought Stiles back to a painful memory - in fourth grade, someone had seen the attendance sheet with his real name on it, and showed it to everyone else. And this had started a barrage of bullying and rumours about how he had gotten the name.

Some said that his mother hated him as soon as he was born and wanted to name him something really ugly to match him. Some said that his mother had a brain tumour and she named him in such an odd manner because her brain was 'mush' when he was born. And whenever people in the halls mockingly called him 'tumour baby' or 'brain tumour' - then he had to painfully be reminded of his mother's absence from his life.

"So you're like Mister Mxyzptlk?" You posed, a smile coming across your face from the joy of making such an apt reference.

Stiles looked at you then, unsure if he had heard you correctly - but his heart started to beat faster and he was sure that his crush developed into full, heart-stopping love in that moment.

A gorgeous, cute, sweet girl like you making such an obscure dorky reference - there was nobody else. Nobody else would ever make him feel the way you had in that moment.

Scott was entirely confused, looking between the two of you with utter dumbness across his face, wondering why Stiles' heart rate had increased so much.

"Ugh - yeah." Stiles stuttered out awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"So, is learning your real name the power to defeating you?" You posed, smoothing your voice into a sultry tone, stepping closer to Stiles, running a hand up his bare forearm - clearly flirting now. "Do I get three chances to moan it in your ear without making a mistake before you're allowed to do whatever you want to me?"

Scott regretted his super-hearing, being able to catch exactly what you said in a low whisper against Stiles's ear.

Stiles's brain was short-circuiting.

You were making nerdy references and coming onto him now. His blood was rioting between rushing to his pants and giving him a heart attack, and soon, before he could stop it, he practically shouted:

"Marry me!"

And while this would have been a colossally awkward fumble with any other girl, you simply giggled and smiled.

"You're so cute." You complimented in return, reaching out to gently 'boop' a finger against his nose.

Stiles continued to gape at you, feeling like he needed to say more, needed to communicate just how epicly wonderful you were in his eyes.

"Chocolate? Or vanilla? Our wedding cake could have 4 tiers, or we could get one of those cupcake tower things, I heard those are really trendy."

You let out another laugh, thinking that he was joking - not realising that he was already picking out an engagement ring in his head, and wondering which comic book characters you would name your children after.

"We can start with a date." You told him. "Friday. After the game."

He nodded.

"Yes, date." He agreed eagerly. "A date would be amazing."

"I have to get going now." You added on - and he felt like he was floating when you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before you departed. "See you later?"

"Everyday for the rest of our lives." Stiles mumbled quietly, entirely love-struck.

"What the hell was that?" Scott asked, still entirely baffled.

"We shall have a spring wedding." Stiles replied, his eyes still locked on your back as you walked away - clearly, he was still caught up in the euphoria of the interaction.

Scott had to drag him away.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || How You Meet [Mafia Edition]

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - September 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

TW: Mentions of violence and guns

A/N: I had so much fun writing the next lot of reactions, you have no idea!!!

CHAN:

There was something in the air today, something that was fucking up your life and you weren't enjoying it. It was as if the world had looked at you today and decided that it was your turn to have the worst luck in the history of the universe. You'd gotten fired, fallen into the canal, and got an eviction letter all in one day and yet the universe was still throwing curve balls at you since you'd just almost gotten hit by a car.

"Are you okay?!" Your friend questioned as you stood against the brick wall your head resting against the brick as you did your best to calm down your racing heart. The car had been inches away from hitting you until she pulled you away and you would have been dead if she wasn't with you. Your hands were shaking as you tried to take in some deep breaths and steady yourself a little, Your eyes scanned the road as you saw the car that almost barrelled you down pulling into the layby next to you.

"Listen! Creep! If you're going to yell at her for being in the road maybe you should drive like a normal person!" Katarina said before you could stop her, the man stared at her before disregarding her entirely and staring you down. He was almost 6 foot tall, bald and had a giant scar running down the left side of his face,

"Don't stare her down! It might work on other people but Yn here isn't going to back down, we'll sue you! You were driving over the speed limit! We could have you arrested," You put your hand on Katarina's arm trying to get her to cool her jets,

"Leave it, Kat, he didn't hit me." You begged as you shook your head, as soon as this day was over the better. All you wanted to do was go home to bed and sleep it all off like nothing had happened but you wouldn't go back to a bed, you were going back to Kat's sofa bed,

"I won't leave it! He could have killed you!" She yelled out drawing attention from those around you when you heard another car door shut, you glanced in the direction of the car to see a man making his way toward you.

"What do you want?!" Katarina yelled out making a few of the women that were watching the exchange gasp out.

"Are you okay?" The question was directed at you by the man who spoke with an Australian accent, your eyes stuck on him as you took in a small intake of breath. The man was stunning to look at, his eyes felt as though they were piercing into your soul as you stared back at him, slowly nodding.

"Are you sure? It must have scared you." The man stated as he continued to look at you, searching for any sign that you might be lying to him.

"I've told him countless times to drive the speed limit around here but he never listens," He admitted to you, though it was only partially true. When Chan needed to get somewhere he would, he didn't care who was on the roads but after seeing you so scared there was something inside of him that scared him, the aching urge to want to protect you took over his body.

"Y-Yes, fine. Just shook up," You admitted as Kat stared at you, narrowing her eyes at the man and then at you before she smirked a little. It was obvious that you were attracted to the man, though it was lost on Kat as to why since his driver had almost hit you.

"She would be better if you took her for some tea, you know, to make up for your driving almost killing her." Your eyes shot in her direction but she refused to look at you, instead, she chose to stare at the man that was apologising to you,

"Kat!" You hissed out, was she out of her mind? One second she was ready to fist fight the person who had almost hit you and now she was attempting to set you up.

"She's right, I should take you for some tea to steady your nerves. It's the least I can do," Chan said as he watched you, his eyes hadn't left your face since the moment he got out of the car and you swallowed the lump that was forming in your throat.

"Text me when you're done," Kat winks at you, walking away so that you can't decline the offer of tea and you whimper a little.

"I'm Chan, it's lovely to meet you...?" He stated his name so that it wouldn't feel too weird going to get something to drink with a stranger.

"Yn." You told him as he took your hand in his and gently lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently as you felt your body warm at the whole interaction.

MINHO:

You would have to be stupid not to know who the man standing inside of the animal shelter was right now, you'd also have to be stupid to be the one serving him and yet here you were. In fairness, you'd been the only one brave enough to stay and see what Minho could have wanted in a place like this. It wasn't every day the local mafia leader walked into a cat shelter and began looking around for something.

"Could I help Mr Lee?" You quizzed walking toward him and trying to remain as calm as possible. He was alone here, no guards following him, none of his men looking out for him it was just him and it worried you. Was he going to put this place out of business? You hoped not, this was your favourite job ever and you didn't want the cats to have to suffer,

"I'm looking to adopt," He told you without looking at you, instead he was staring into the crate of a sleeping set of kittens. 

"They were abandoned a few nights ago, I found them on my way home." You admitted,

"How could anyone ever abandon something as cute as a cat?" He sighed standing up straight and turning around to face you, you smiled up at him warmly and his breath was completely taken away from him. You were beautiful, there was no doubt about it as he stared down at you,

"I do have some older cats though, if you'd prefer some older cats." You suggested, pointing behind you at the countless cages that lined the walls all filled with at least one cat.

"Do you care for them all?" He questioned, taking out his phone and making sure he could have everything that needed to be done, done as soon as possible.

"Yep. I do it with the help of my workers, we want to make sure every cat has someone that would love them in their life," You smiled at yourself, it was something you'd stood by for years and always would stand by.

"What if they don't get adopted by a certain time frame?" You knew what he was asking and you hated it, you'd always hated shelters that took that option.

"They stay, as long as they need." You told him plainly, you stared him down waiting for him to ask you what he was trying to ask you properly.

"You don't..." He swallowed nervously, "You don't kill them?" He questioned and you shook your head, there was no way you could ever cause harm to another animal's life.

"I could never." He nods at you, smiling brightly as he thinks about it all.

"I wish I could take them all." He admitted and you instantly let out a giggle before slapping your hand over your mouth.

"What's so funny?" He arched a brow at you, you seemed so relaxed around him which was something he wasn't entirely used to and he was enjoying it.

"I just wouldn't expect someone of your...profession, to be so fond of cats." He eyed you up a little and let out a small chuckle. If there was anything this interaction was teaching him it was that he wanted to spend more time with you,

"There's a lot you don't know about me." 

"I suppose." You shrugged, looking down at the clipboard as you thought about a cat that would be perfect for him. You would have preferred an elder cat go with him rather than kittens, Everyone wanted a kitten but not many people considered caring for older cats.

"Something you could get to know if you really wanted." He told you before your head shot up and you stared at him a little confused as he smirked at you.

"We'll discuss our date once the work is done," He told you before putting his phone away, once he got the confirmation that everything could be done he was ready.

"The work? Our date?" You questioned, completely shocked by both of the things he'd thrown at you.

"I'll take every cat," He said plainly as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"What? Where would you keep them all? I need to do some background checks, and house checks to make sure everything is okay for the cats." You told him but he shook his head and smiled warmly at you. He knew he would never pass a house inspection and the only answer was for them to stay here,

"They'll stay here and we'll have to make some changes."

"Changes?" You quizzed, following him as he walked through the small room you were single of.

"Yes, if we're going to let cats live here then we're going to turn this into a cattery. A huge place for them to explore, I can have my contractors here earliest by next week."

"But-" You tried to say something but he was already quick on the ball with it.

"I'll pay for everything."

"That's not what-" You were more worried about whether or not you could stay, or your workers. What did all of this even mean?

"You'll keep your job, anyone you want to stay will stay." He told you before you glared at him, he might have scared everyone else but not you.

"Do you have an answer for everything?" You asked snarkily, placing your hands on your hips,

"I don't have an answer about our date." He told you before you eyed him up,

"I won't date my employer."

"Good, because I'm not the employer. You work at the cattery where I just happen to own all of the cats," He smirked at you making your whole body burn,

"You won't give up...Will you?" He shook his head and you sighed, rolling your eyes before agreeing to the date with him. After all, it was just one date. Right?

CHANGBIN:

You clutched the strap on your bag pressing it against your chest, keeping your head down as you walked under the street lights and in plain view of the stores so that if you went missing, someone would see. You were doing everything right, you didn't have earphones in, and you kept yourself aware of your surroundings without looking anyone in the eyes. Living in a dangerous city you knew every rule that there was to keep yourself safe and you were following it all to the T.

"Hey, pretty lady!" Someone yelled from in front of you but you didn't even acknowledge it, you kept moving and ignored the way he called after you. 

"Don't fucking ignore me! You're not better than me!" He slurred, clearly drunk and that terrified you even more. Drunk men didn't care about anything but themselves,

"Talk to me!" He yelled out, he was quickly gaining on you and you didn't want to run, if you ran it would ensure a chase and the last thing you wanted was to be sprinting and getting tired. So you headed in the direction of a local bar, the one you worked in and you knew you'd be safe there. It might have been owned by one of the scariest men in the city but it was also the safest place for women...well for everyone. Changbin would make sure everyone who worked there or even entered was protected it was one of the things you admired about the man. You were seconds away from reaching the door but none of the bouncers were on duty right now. 

"Don't fucking run away from me!" A hand was clasped around your wrist and you were shoved roughly against the wall, you let out a small high-pitched groan and the man smirked.

"You can't go anywhere now." He told you, leaning down and looking at you as you glared at him. All you had to do was buy some time, you could eventually kick him in the dick and slide into the bar but right now it was a waiting game. Waiting for him to fuck up.

"I suggest you leave her alone before you lose your hand," A voice said from the left of you, your head turned to see Changbin staring at you with a very unimpressed look on his face.

"Leave me and my girlfriend alone," He grumbled but you looked at Changbin with pleading eyes. It was obvious this wasn't your boyfriend,

"Last I checked, Miss Yn here didn't have a boyfriend. In fact, she's due to be on stage in a few minutes." You were a little taken aback. Did he know you? You worked for him sure but that didn't mean he knew the details of your life.

"Who do you think you are?!" The man slurred, and you stared at the side of his head. How did he not know Changbin? That was neither here nor there, you took your opportunity while he was distracted to draw your knee in between his legs as he grunted letting go of you so you sprinted toward Changbin who was smirking at you impressed by you.

"Good move, beautiful." Your body flamed at the compliment coming from Changbin. This was the first time you were officially meeting him, you worked for him but the two of you had never actually spoken until tonight.

"I'll fucking kill you!" The man grunted, standing up straight as he made his way toward you but Changbin grabbed his wrist and within seconds the man's chest was pressed against the wall with his arm pinned between his shoulder blades.

"You owe the lady an apology. You already tested my patience enough tonight." Changbin told him with a small growl in his throat, the thought of someone hurting you drove him wild.

"Fuck. You." The man was released and Changbin let out a cocky smile, looking at you,

"Turn away princess, I don't want you to have to see this." You did as you were told and heard the familiar sound of a gun going off before two men moved to go to Changbin. When it was finally clear for you to turn around Changbin was smiling,

"You have tonight off, let me drive you home." You nodded as he wrapped his jacket around your shoulders and made his way over to the black bently that was waiting for him.

"I'll come and get you every night from now on. I don't want anything to happen to you," He suggested as you got into the car, your eyes on him as you smiled warmly.

"Thank you, Mr. Seo," You sat down and did up the belt as Changbin smiled at you, he was going to woo you and he didn't care how long it was going to take.

"Call me Changbin, please." You nodded and smiled a little, the two of you heading in the direction of your apartment.

HYUNJIN:

Your hands graced along the paint brushes in front of you, You were trying to find some new painting supplies and the brushes you'd purchased last week weren't good for you. The bristles were falling out and staying on your paintings and you needed something better, which was how you'd ended up in one of the most expensive painting supplies shops in the city. From the moment you walked in you could feel eyes on you and it was making you completely uncomfortable, did they think you were going to try and steal from them or something?

"I recommend these." A voice said as he reached out for a boxed set of brushes, your eyes slowly looked up at him and you let out a small gasp. This man was beautiful, truly, You could barely believe your eyes as you stared at him. Seriously, was this man from a painting? You could have sworn people this beautiful only existed in paintings or fictional works.

"They're by my favourite painter and they're perfect for everything. The bristles have minimal fallout, if any, I've never seen any in my work." He told you as you continued to stare at him with your mouth hanging open a little, it was incredible just to look at him. You must have looked insane to anyone watching you so you quickly snapped from your trance,

"Thanks." You smiled looking at the price tag and your face fell a little, there was no way you'd be able to pay for these today or maybe if ever,

"I think I should look somewhere more in my price range though,  ₩2M is a little out of my sights." You laughed a little awkwardly and he chuckled a little, they were a little bit on the expensive side but they were certainly worth it.

"How about I get them for you?" He suggested making you laugh a little until you realise he was serious about it.

"Why would you do that? I couldn't pay you back."

"You could, by letting me take you to dinner." You were a little shaken up, a man was offering to buy you expensive brushes and take you out to dinner? Where were the cameras? Because you were pretty sure this was some kind of prank.

"That's very sweet but you don't know me, I don't know you." You shrugged at him, you weren't going to accept a date from someone you didn't know.

"I'm Hyunjin, there...Now you know me." He smiled warmly at you as if this was something he did all of the time and maybe it was, but this wasn't your thing. You didn't date random men from paint stores, nor did you accept gifts from them.

"For all you know, I could be some kind of serial killer." You told him making him laugh as he looked at you,

"Oh, I think I'd know about that," After all, he knew everything and everyone who lived in his city. If there was a killer on the loose he would know about it and you certainly didn't look like the type.

"Mr Hwang, your car is ready." Hyunjin nodded and smiled at the worker,

"Thank you. Please make sure my friend's paintbrushes and anything else she touches, or looks at is paid for by me." The women behind the tills nodded and you shook your head, there was no way.

"What? No." You laughed a little but it was clear he wasn't going to take no as an answer to this,

"I'll see you around," He winks at you smirking as he heads out of the small store and you look at the other workers that were glaring in your direction clearly not happy with how that had transpired.

"Do you even know who that was?" It was obvious by her tone that she was annoyed by you,

"N-No." You stuttered, watching as the man got into the back of a car and disappeared from your sight.

"Hwang Hyunjin. Good luck, he's relentless when he sees something he wants." Before you could ask what she meant she was going toward the back of the store while you looked around nervously.

JISUNG:

The storm wasn't supposed to come for hours yet, you thought you had time to quickly head out and get everything you were going to need for the power cut but clearly not. You were practically Olympic sprinting through the streets trying to find somewhere you could hide out from the lightening. You pushed yourself into a bar and the group of men all stood up and stared at you, your eyes scanned over them all as you waited for them to say something,

"S-Sorry." You coughed out, looking at them all as they all had their hands placed on the waistbands of their pants where there were guns sitting, and your eyes widened. What the fuck had you just walked into?

"Stand down. It's clear the girl is cold and wet." A voice said as you looked around at the men who slowly sat back down and their hands removed from their guns.

"Come in, can I get you a hot drink?" Your eyes landed on the man sitting at the head of the table, dressed in a sharp suit and smiling warmly at you. You knew who he was instantly and now you were starting to regret walking into this bar, you should have braved the storm. There was no way you were going to stay with Han Jisung and his men, you knew better than to try and brave out a mafia leader.

"I'll just head out-" Before you could finish your sentence you let out a scream as the thunder boomed above the bar and the lights shut off.

"Someone put the battery generators on. Make her a hot chocolate," Jisung ordered as he made his way over to you, taking your jacket off and handing it to one of his men who left with it.

"You're soaking, we should get you in some warm clothes," You looked at him as he smiled down at you, you knew who he was and you knew he was a man that wasn't meant to be trusted. A man who you'd heard horror stories about and yet he was being so kind and caring toward you right now.

"I'll be okay," You shook your head, you had no idea why he was being so nice to you and you didn't want to stick around and find out.

"Nonsense. Get her some of my clothes!" He snapped at his men and you stared at him as he sat you down in a booth, the two of you pressed close together and he smiled down at you again.

"I'm Jisung, but judging by your hasty attempt at an exit you knew that," You nodded at him and he chuckled a little shaking his head, he hated that you seemed so scared of him. The rumours about him were harsh and hardly any of them were true.

"I'm Yn...I-I heard you didn't like people bothering you so I didn't want to get into trouble." You stuttered out and a hot chocolate was placed in front of you, Jisung took your hands and placed them around the cup trying to warm you up.

"You could never get in trouble with me, drink up." He told you as you smiled a little, relaxing as he sat back in the seat and waited for his men to come with some warmer clothes for you.

"We'll get you dressed nice and warm and we can have another talk," He suggested as you nodded, thanking him for the drink in front of you and trying not to get too nervous about him or the storm that was still happening.

FELIX:

Your eyes scanned around the room as you tried to figure out why you'd been called into the office of your CEO and why you were left alone without someone watching you. All you knew was that there was a very huge man waiting at your desk this morning asking for you to follow him and now you were inside of the CEO's office bouncing your leg nervously. There was no escape, Goliath was manning the door from outside and even if you somehow got passed him there were over 50 flights of stairs to get down.

"Ah! Miss YLN, lovely to see you." Your eyes landed on your boss who had a giant smile on his face and it made you more nervous. You did everything within your power to stay hidden inside of your job, you did everything mediocre so there was no chance of getting noticed, no chance of being seen and brought up to the office. Clearly, that plan had failed you.

"Mr Russo, it's nice to see you. But, could I please ask why I'm here?" You swallowed the lump in your throat but before Dante Russo could answer you the door opened and shut again,

"Good luck," Dante whispered before practically sprinting out of the room and leaving you alone with the man who had just walked in and you knew exactly why you were there.

"Yn, I've heard a lot about you," Felix said as he smiled at you, your whole body was suddenly burning as you stared at him.

"Mr Lee." You said as you got up from the chair and shuffled your back toward the desk. If you weren't nervous before you certainly were now and with good reason. Last week you broke into Felix's bank account and you thought you'd done it successfully and undetected but you were wrong.

"Don't look so scared. I just want to talk to you." He suggested as he walked around the desk and took a seat in your boss's chair, you were quick to sit back down and watch him. Maybe it was possible he didn't know about the money. There was so much of it in the account you could be sure he wouldn't know the exact amount anyway,

"What can I do for you?" You quizzed as he looked at you, smirking a little. He enjoyed that you were trying your best to stay confident given the situation,

"What did you do with the money? I assume you didn't keep it since you still work here," Your breath caught in your throat and you eyed him up. He looked back at you, giving you no indication that he was angry or even annoyed at you for it and there was no use lying to him.

"I gave it to people more in need of it." You shrugged trying to play it off as though your heart wasn't ready to leap from your chest and run away.

"Hmm, smart." He smiled a little and let out a small sigh, something had to be done but he wasn't here to punish you. Far from it, he knew that the hacking into his system was easy and you'd been one of the best hackers so far. Hardly left a trace, the only reason you were even caught was because of the pattern of hacking, Every hacker had a signature and yours was all over his bank account.

"I don't regret it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, your security system sucks." If you were going to get killed for breaking in you were at least going to tell him the truth.

"Which is why I'm hiring you to fix it." He said plainly,

"And another thing- What?" You stared at him completely dumbfounded and he let out a laugh,

"You're one of the best, I want to get you to fix it. Fix every computer issue I have and we'll forgive this little...impass." He told you as your mouth fell open a little.

"Work for you?" You weren't sure if this was some kind of trap to lure you into a false sense of security so he could kill you or not.

"You'll be handsomely paid." He shrugged but you were still a little confused as to why he would hire someone that stole from him.

"You're offering me a job? I thought you'd kill me."

"You took less than most would have and not for selfish reasons...I'll hire you, but if anything else goes missing I won't be so lenient. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir." You nodded as his smile grew larger, it was going to be a pleasure doing business with you.

"Perfect, let's head to my car then," He smiled as he waited for you to stand and leave with him.

SEUNGMIN:

"Everyone out!" Someone bellowed before a gunshot sounded making people scream out. You clutched onto the dress you'd been trying on inside of the changing room and slid down the wall. What the fuck was going on?

"Now!" Another voice screamed, you grabbed your bag trying to search through it for your phone when the curtain was pulled back and a gun was aimed at you. Your phone dropped to the floor, shattering instantly as you bit down on your lip,

"Didn't you hear me? Out!" You looked at the man who continued to aim a gun at you, there was no way you could leave. The dress wasn't done up meaning your back was bare for everyone and if you tried to go outside there was a chance your breasts would be out for anyone to see.

"I'm barely dressed, p-please...Just let me get changed." You hated that you were begging but you weren't about to walk into the streets in a dress that wasn't done up and showed off your cleavage. 

"No." He grumbled at you before a hand was placed on his shoulder.

"John!" A voice screamed from behind the man in front of you,

"Allow the lady to get dressed." Your eyes looked behind the giant man in front of you to see Kim Seungmin standing there. You'd heard stories about him, but you'd never seen him in person.

"Are you okay? Did he scare you?" He questioned, pushing the man out of the way and holding out a hand for you to take, you carefully took it and stood up. Your eyes stared into Seungmins as you tried to find the words to speak but you couldn't, you were too stunned by how handsome he was. The photos didn't do him any justice.

"Miss?" He questioned again once he realised you hadn't answered him.

"O-Oh...I'm okay," You stuttered looking down at the floor, kicking yourself for looking like a fool in front of him.

"You look very beautiful. Did you finish trying the dress on before you were interrupted?" Your eyes met with his once more and you shook your head,

"Spin for me," He spoke softly and you nodded, holding the fabric tightly against your chest as you turned around. One of Seungmin's hands came to rest on your hip while the other did the zip on the back of the dress until it was completely secure. Your whole body tingled and you could have sworn every hair on your body stood to attention as you caught his gaze in the mirror.

"It's stunning, this colour suits your skin tone beautifully." He told you as you nodded at him a little shy about what to say in response to him, 

"Where will you be wearing this?" He quizzed, interested to know if it was a date you were preparing for or if he had a chance to take you out on it himself.

"Erm...I have a charity event I'm attending this week." He nods at you,

"Perfect, you'll be the most beautiful woman there." He told you before looking at the cashier,

"I'll be buying this for the young lady and anything else she'd tried on before."

"But-" You couldn't protest him as he smiled, holding your hand in his.

"Please, it's my way of saying sorry for our rude interruption. There was no need for my men to burst inside," You nodded at him and he ran his hand over your cheek a little.

"Save me a dance at the event," He whispered before leaving you staring at the place where he had once been standing, your mouth falling open again as you thought about it all.

JEONGIN: 

"This is outrageous! I demand to know who thinks they can just walk in here and buy this place right from under me!" You slammed your hands on your desk and stared at the two brutes who had walked into your office carrying three briefcases and telling you that they were buying you out.

"Our boss would like to remain private." The shortest one said as you smirked cockily at him, There was no way you were going to lose this place. You weren't in any money troubles, the hotel was doing better than you could have expected it to after you bought it from your uncle.

"And I like to have my hotel remain in my ownership. Either you bring your pussy of a boss in here or you leave with bullet holes in your head." You took the gun from your top drawer and placed it on the desk to let them know that you were serious. You weren't a killer, but it was always nice to put on a front to anyone who thought that they could mess with you.

"I'm not a pussy, they just like to screen my business opportunities before I come in." Your eyes landed on the man standing in the doorway and you instantly regretted getting the gun out. Yang Jeongin. Never in a million years did you think he would be standing in your office.

"Mr Yang." You didn't let yourself stutter, you weren't going to show weakness in front of him.

"Out. Both of you." He snapped as the two men left the room leaving you and Jeongin alone, he made his way over to your mini bar and poured himself a drink,

"Your hotel is lovely and what my two men didn't explain is that I won't be buying it out from under you. I want to go into business with you," You eyed him up, why would someone who owns half of the city want your hotel. It was a skipping stone in his ocean,

"This place isn't worth that much. It's nothing."

"Ah, but it's everything. It's my favourite place to stay," You looked at him, you'd never have him stay with you. You would have known about it since you checked almost every standing account that you have on record. The only time you knew Jeongin had stayed was years and years ago,

"My father stayed when your uncle owned this, I remember playing in the foyer as a child. If I recall I played with a lovely young lady too and we were the best of friends."

"You remember that?" You were a little stunned. You hadn't expected him to remember someone as small on the scale as you. The two of you had been allowed to play together since his father stayed so often and you always hung out together since you were always here.

"I remember everything," He sat down in the chair that was in front of your desk and smiled.

"Now I would be happy to negotiate the price and details with you." He told you as he relaxed in the seat, taking a sip of the bourbon he'd poured for himself.

"Lovely, let's start." You took out a pen and a pad of paper ready to hash this all out with him but he chuckled and shook his head. He wasn't going to do business here, he wanted to wine and dine you first. 

"Over dinner. Let me take you out."

"Jeognin." You rolled your eyes, ever since you were kids he'd had a crush on you and it was obvious it had stayed with him growing up.

"I do business better with food." You sighed at him but nodded your head, you knew he would only continue to ask until you agreed and free food was harmless.

"Fine. I'm free tonight. You can pick me up from here."

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @halesandy @aerastus @laylasbunbunny @critssq @lenfilms @btsiguess-kpop @meowmeowisdaname @imafivestarkpopstan @lost-leopard-beanie @djeniryuu @backintomykpopphaseagain @choisoorin

[jpmarvel90]

Don't Belong part 2

Masterlist Natasha Masterlist

Part 1

Word Count: 5499

Relationship: Mother WandaNat x Daugher Reader

Summary: After Y/n's accident on her mission, her mother's are terrified that they might not get the chance to make things right with their daughter. That's assuming Y/n wants anything to do with them when she comes around.

Nat: Mama Wanda: Mom

Nat's POV:

It's been over 24 hours since Y/n came out of surgery and she's still unconscious with a machine helping her breathe. I thought she would have been awake by now and there'd be a relief that she was on the start of her long road to recovery.

Instead, Wanda and I are glued to our seats next to her bed. We've only gotten up to use the bathroom. Otherwise, we've remained by her side. Pepper kindly offered to take the boys for as long as it's needed. Though they are both very anxious to see Y/n themselves. They might be young, but they understand that she's hurt. They love their sister, and they want her to wake up just as much as we do.

I've not slept since we found out that she was hurt, and I don't plan to until she is awake. Though the longer it goes on, the more my body is fighting against that desire. I want to be there when she wakes up to show her that her moms are going to be there for her the whole way through her recovery.

Wanda and I have spoken a lot over the last day. We've shared our pain and sadness, whilst making sure we come up with a plan to help her with her recovery and to ultimately gain her forgiveness.

We both know that Y/n will not forgive us easily, if at all. But that doesn't mean that we're not going to try with everything in us. For too long we've allowed her to go about her life thinking that we don't love or care for her anymore. She has every right to feel that way after how we've treated her. But she will not ever question that again.

The both of us are sat in silence, both of us watching over our daughter. My eyes are trained on her chest, making sure that she is still breathing, gaining a lot of comfort from the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest. However, the silence doesn't last long until the door flies open.

Out of instinct, both Wanda and I shoot up from our seats and take a defensive stance in front of our daughter to protect her from any danger. However, we soon relax when we see Yelena's worried face. "I came as soon as I could." She tells us as she moves closer to the bed, her hand hesitant as it reaches out towards her niece.

Yelena has been away for most of the time over the last few years. She's been helping to find all the widows and has only come back for a couple of days at a time. Each time though, she has always made time for us. "How is she?" She asks, as I pull up another chair for my sister.

"It's not good. She's still in critical condition. They had to remove part of her liver, but Cho reckons that if she can get through these first few days, that she'll be on track for a full recovery." I fill her in as her eyes never leave Y/n. "Clint said that it was a double agent that set her up." She states and we nod in clarification. "I'll be paying a visit to Fury when I'm done here." She announces, an anger to her voice. "We've tried to see him, but Fury won't let us anywhere near him." Wanda warns her but Yelena just scoffs. "I'll get to him one way or another." She states and I believe her. She's incredibly protective of the people she loves, and she'll want to make sure that he pays. I actually hope that she does.

"Wait, you said you were with Clint?" I question her and she nods. "Yeah, he was with me on my last mission. He's waiting outside, he didn't want to intrude." She responds, pointing towards the window behind her where Clint is stood with a young girl next to him. "Who's with him?" I ask. "Kate Bishop. Clint's stray. He's going to see if she can join Shield." Yelena explains. "She was with us and had no where else to go so I said she could stay here for now." She adds on. If Clint thinks she's worthy of Shield, then I believe that she is. She must also be good if Yelena has been working with her. She wouldn't let anyone help who would slow her down.

"How long are you back for?" Wanda steps in with her own question, making my own ears prick up for her response. "As long as I need to be. I want to be around to help with her recovery." Yelena replies, making me smile. Y/n is going to need all the help she can get, and she adores Yelena, so I'm glad that she's not going anywhere any time soon.

After a while, we indicate for Clint and Kate to come in. We go through our introduction, and I can see how enthusiastic Kate is. She's very chatty and I'm surprise she's not pissed off Clint and Yelena yet though! "I read about Y/n in the Young Initiative files." Kate shares. "Did you know she is the only recruit to ever get a perfect score. She could have passed the exams two years ago and still topped the class." She tells us enthusiastically. "Sounds like you're a fan." Yelena teases her, making the young girl blush. "I guess when your parents are the Black Widow and the Scarlett Witch, you're going to be good." Kate chuckles.

It makes my gaze drop, something that Yelena clocks on to instantly. She's not been around so hasn't seen how we've treated Y/n. I'm actually worried for when I tell her. She's going to hate us for it and I'd be surprised if she even lets us stay around Y/n. "Y/n did it all on her own. With a little help from Steve. Her talent has come from her own ability and desire to be the best." Wanda corrects Kate, showing that we have no claim to how good Y/n is at being an agent. "Oh, that's even more impressive then. You must be really proud." She smiles at us and we both nod. "More than she'll ever know." I mutter.

__________

When Kate and Clint leave, Yelena is quick to question Wanda and I. We tell her of what's been going on and how ashamed we are and how much we want to be able to fix everything. "You don't deserve to fix it." She spits angrily at us. "It's no excuse to say that you got lost in the boys. Y/n is your daughter too and she needed you." She shouts, calling us both out on our actions. "We know Yelena. We can't take back how we've treated her. But I promise that we won't every do anything like that again!" I tell her sincerely. "No, you won't. I won't let you. If you are going to be back in her life as the parents you should have been, you have to be all in. You promised to be better than we had Natasha!" She tells me firmly with a finger jabbing into my chest.

"I know Yelena. I wish I had a valid excuse or reason for what we did. I will never forgive myself. I will always have a hatred towards myself for ever making her feel the way we did. But I'm not going to wallow and hide away from it. I want to own up to the mistake and try and fix it. I know that it's not going to be an easy fix, but I will stay here and face the brunt of the anger and pain that she's feeling because I will not give up on her. Not again." I tell her passionate. "Neither of us will. I promise you Yelena, we will do everything in our power to fix this." Wanda steps up and adds her own promise, taking my hand. At least we have each other through all of this.

Yelena doesn't speak, she just looks between the two of us, her chest heaving with anger. It's intimidating to be the one on the receiving end, but we deserve it. I'm glad that Yelena is here. She simple nods her head and that is the subject over with. For now.

That night, my body ultimately wins, and I end up getting a couple of hours sleep. Though it's full of nightmares that I can't seem to escape and then when I wake up, I'm terrified that Y/n will be awake already and I'll have missed it. But when my body wakes with a jolt, I'm met with my sleeping wife and still unconscious daughter.

I stretch out and move closer to the bed and take Y/n's bruised hand in my own. "I can't lose you. You are my daughter, blood or not and I love you so much. I know I haven't shown that to you and there is no excuse for that. I also know that you have every right to never forgive me. So, my only request, is please wake up. Please survive. I don't think I can live in a world without you in it." I plead with her. Hoping that somewhere in her subconscious she can hear me. I squeeze her hand, hoping for any response, but nothing comes.

The day goes by slower than usual. That is until Cho comes in to check on Y/n and gives us the good news that she should be able to breathe without the ventilator now. Wanda and I step outside as we watch through the window. We're holding on to each other tightly as we watch. "This is good. She's strong and this is the first step to her waking up." Wanda speaks. I can hear the hesitation in her voice, showing that she is trying to convince herself more than anything. "You're right. She is so strong. I know she's going to wake up soon." I add on, smiling at my wife.

Cho soon joins us with a smile. "She's doing well. She's now breathing easily on her own. I expect she'll wake up within a few hours. I'll be back to do a full examination then so we can assess her injuries." She informs us. I feel a sense of relief wash over me. Hopefully it won't be long until our daughter is back with us.

The next couple of hours seems to drag by. Clint, Yelena and Kate all paid another visit but left to try and sort a room out for Kate in the compound. Steve was then the next to join us, taking a seat at the end of Y/n's bed. It's a long wait until we finally see a twitch to Y/n's eye.

I'm the first to my feet, leaning over to see if I had imagined the small movement. "Y/n, honey. It's mama. Can you hear me?" I ask her, fighting off the tears threatening to fall. With a flutter, her blues eyes lock on to mine. "She squeezed my hand." Wanda says excitedly. "Baby, we're here." She tells Y/n, who's got a confused look in her eyes.

"You're in the medical wing sweetheart. You got shot on your mission." I explain to her. "S-t-Steve." She stutters out. "He's fine. He's here." I reassure her, waving for Steve to come closer. "Hey kiddo. Boy we're glad to see you awake." He tells her with a relived smile. One that she returns. "I'll got and get Dr Cho." Wanda states, quickly leaving the room. "T-the m-mission." Y/n starts but Steve is quick to stop her. "Is not to worry about right now. Just know it wasn't your fault. But we'll explain it when you're doing better." He tells her, earning a nod. She reaches out her hand to Steve and he instantly takes it. "You're not allowed to scare us like that again." He chuckles, his voice wavering.

"S-sorry." She replies, her eyes fluttering again. "It's ok sweetheart. Don't fight it if you want to sleep again." I tell her softly. She doesn't really acknowledge me, but she does seem to listen as her eyes flutter shut once again.

They don't stay closed for long though, soon woken up by Cho as she comes in with a wide smile. "There's my favourite patient." She smiles at Y/n, who grins in return. "I bet you s-say that to e-everyone." Y/n responds through a struggled chuckle. "But with you I actually mean it." Cho winks, before looking over Y/n's chart and obs.

She takes the time to explain Y/n's injuries to her and the plan for her recovery. I see her face drop when she realises she's going to be in the hospital for at least another week before being on strict bed rest when she's discharged. "I'll be around if you need anything or have any questions. So please get one of the nurses to get me if you need me. That goes for all of you." Dr Cho offers. "Thank you. For everything." I tell her sincerely. She gives me a tightly smile before turning on her heel and leaving the three of us too it.

With Cho gone, it's silent in the med bay as Wanda, Steve and I just watch over Y/n. She is struggling to keep her eyes open, but I can see a pain in them when they lock on to mine. "You should get some rest kiddo." Steve speaks up as Y/n nods in return. "W-will you s-stay?" She asks, making Steve smile widely. "Of course." He returns, moving to get another chair to sit with us. At that confirmation, Y/n seems comfortable enough to let her eyes close and for sleep to take back over.

It's almost agony to see her asleep once again. We've been waiting for so long for her to wake up, for her to be asleep so soon is tough. I almost want to start apologising and showing her that we're going to change and it's going to stick. But I don't want to overwhelm her. At the moment, her recovery is the most important thing. As much as I hate it, earning her forgiveness will have to wait.

"Now she's awake, you two should head to your apartment. See the twins, eat some proper food, and get some sleep. I can stay with her." Steve offers, but I'm quick to decline. "I don't want to leave her." I tell him, whilst gripping her hand tighter, my eyes not leaving her sleeping form. Steve lets out a sigh. "She'll be asleep for a while, and she needs you both on top form." He tells us.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look up to see Wanda smiling warmly at me. I hadn't even noticed that she had moved from the other side of the bed. "Steve's right. We've been here for days. If we want to do what's right by Y/n, then we need to look after ourselves as well." She speaks sense.

With a huff I stand from my seat and lean forward to press a kiss to Y/n's head. "We'll be back later sweetheart. I love you so much." I tell her softly then move so that Wanda can say goodbye too. With one last look to our daughter, we both reluctantly leave. Though I smile when I see Steve move closer and take Y/n's hand in his own. Although I will forever regret how we have treated Y/n, I'm glad that she has had Steve there for her.

Y/n's POV:

Well, that was not how I wanted my first mission to go. I wanted to impress everyone, not end up in the med bay with part of my liver missing! Waking up was a weird experience. Seeing my parents' faces were the last thing I expected to see. They seem genuinely worried, but that was probably all a front for everyone else. They can't be seen to not care about the daughter they've ignored for the last few years.

When I wake up next, I see Steve smile down at me. "You're still here." I say and he nods. "Of course. I wanted to make sure that you're ok." He replies, making my own smile grow. I look around and my smile drops when I see that my moms aren't here. I can't hide that it hurts a little that they didn't stick around. But I shouldn't care about that. They haven't cared about me.

"Should have guessed they would go once I woke up." I complain, wincing as I try to adjust myself in bed. "Careful Y/n/n." Steve scolds me as he shoots to his feet to help adjust my pillows. "I told them to go." He admits and I look at him with a frown. "Not like that. But they have not left your side since you were brought in. They weren't looking after themselves and if they are going to help you through your recovery, they need to be at 100%" He explains but I just scoff.

"I don't need their help with my recovery. They didn't care before I was hurt, they don't get to care now." I groan. Steve takes his seat again and looks at me with his, "I know I'm right" look. "Y/n. I know you don't believe it, but they do care for you. They were cut up when you got hurt. They were devastated that they wouldn't have the chance to be able to make things up to you." He says. I roll my eyes, but he continues. "Look, I'm not saying you have to forgive them. But you can't question how much they have cared for you over the last few days."

"Fine, but I'm not going back to their place to recover." I huff, folding my arms. "Considering you've been shot and in a medically induced coma for the last few days, it's good to see it hasn't affected your attitude." Steve teases.

We sit in silence as I think about my parents. They surely can't think that just because they've been sat beside my bed whilst I've been hurt is going to make up for everything that they have done over the years? Who's to say that they won't go back to how they were once I'm healed? I have a place at Sheild now. Somewhere that I can make a name for myself and create my own family.

"I'm sorry I messed up the mission." I break the silence, my mind now moving on to the fact I failed at my first mission. "You didn't fail anything kiddo. We were set up. If anything, I should apologise to you. They were after me, but you were the one to get hurt. You did a great job of take on as many agents as you did." He explains, taking my hand in his. "You fought, and it's because of your skill and ability that you're alive. You impressed everyone." He assures me, running his thumb over my bruised knuckles.

Our moment is broken when my moms walk back in. "You're awake!" Mom says excitedly as both her and mama move into the room quickly. Steve moves back from my side, which I frown at as mama takes my hand in hers. I'm quick to pull it away. The hurt that flashes across her face doesn't go unnoticed, but I'm not in the mood to pretend like everything is ok right now.

"How are you feeling?" Mom asks, appearing to my left. "I'm fine." I respond shortly, receiving a warning raised eyebrow from Steve. "Are you in pain? I can get the nurse to come in and get you some pain killers." Mom fusses. "I'm fine." I repeat the same words. "That's not true, you've been wincing since you've woken up." Steve rats me out. Traitor. "If a 40 calibre bullet went through you, I'm sure you'd be wincing too." I snap. "Told you. Amazing how your attitude hasn't changed." Steve chuckles.

However, both my mom's look at me with worried looks. "I'm going to get Dr Cho. You look pale." Mom worries before rushing out the room.

Mama reaches forward and places her hand on my head, which I quickly try and move away from her touch. "You're hot. I hope you're not running a fever." She states. "Like you care." I mumble, but she hears it and that look of hurt appears on her face again. "Look Y/n. I know you believe that we don't care or love you. But that couldn't be further from the truth. I want nothing more than to talk to you about it and start to make up for everything. But right now, all that matters is your recovery. You can hate us and ignore us or yell at us, but we are not going anywhere." She states firmly, her eyes locked on to mine. I just roll my eyes and turn to look at Dr Cho who has walking into the room.

She checks me over and I notice the frown on her face. "What's up?" I question. "I'm worried about your temperature. I want to run some tests, but with the inflammation to your incision, I'm worried you've got an infection. It's nothing to worry about as we've caught it early. But we'll need to keep a close eye on you." She replies. "So, no discharge yet then." I huff.

Cho chuckles and looks up from my chart. "It's funny you think you were close even without this infection." She teases. "Aren't you meant to be nice to me? I'm a patient after all." I pout. "If I'm on good behaviour, can I get out early?" I plead. "Maybe in a week. But you'll be on strict bed rest and need to be cared for. You're still technically a minor." Cho breaks the news and I know exactly what she's getting at. "But I'm 18 in like 4 days! Besides, I literally got shot on a mission for Shield. Surely that's enough?" I argue.

"Y/n, you are going to struggle to walk, let alone be able to properly look after yourself. Even after you're 18, you'll need support during your recovery. It isn't a simple road ahead for you." Dr Cho returns. "So, what are you saying?" I get straight to the point. "I'm recommending that you are discharged to your family. You'll be in the compound so if anything goes wrong, you can get the right medical attention straight away." She explains. "Really? There are no other options. Can't I stay with Steve or something?" I ask but she shakes her head.

"Y/n, come on. It's what is best for you. Your moms will be there to help. I'll be away on missions so can't give you the care you need." Steve speaks up, but soon shrinks back as I glare at him. "Really, what makes you think that I'll get the care I need at home?" I growl, my anger building. "Y/n..." Mama starts but I cut her off. "No! You can't just stand there and act like the caring parents when you have done nothing to back that claim up. I've been the forgotten daughter for years! Slowly I have been pushed out this family and now you want me to just act like everything is ok and trust that you'll look after me?!" I yell, that frustration finally finding its way out.

"Y/n, you need to calm down. Your heartrate is getting too high." Dr Cho tries to calm me down. "Kiddo. You're ok. You need to give them a chance." Steve tries to reason. "A chance like I was given? I've practically raised myself these last few years!" I snap. Why is he suddenly defending them?!

"Please sweetheart. You're going to make yourself sicker. We want to be there for you. We're not denying how badly we've treated you. But I promise that it will never happen again. You'll be safe with us. We just want to be able to care for you and help you get to full health." Mama speaks, her eyes filled with tears. I look between her, and mom and I see that she's almost inconsolable. "Do I have a choice?" I sigh, turning to Cho. "Technically, yes. But physically, you won't be able to follow through with it." She breaks the bad news. Suddenly the sounds of my heart monitor becomes noticeable so I lie back and take a couple of deep breaths. I can feel all their eyes on me, and I let out a sigh. "Fine whatever." I respond. I just need to do everything that Cho tells me so I can heal as fast as possible and move back to Shield and start my life again.

__________

The next few days are not fun. My infection hit me pretty hard, and I spent a lot of time either sweating or freezing whilst fighting the urge to throw up. I hate being stuck in this bed and I just want to be healthy again and being able to go on missions. Before it went south, I was loving it. Even if it was just a small one.

I'm also finding it hard that my mothers are suddenly around all the time. Mama is much better at not smothering me. Mom on the other hand, she is always fussing. But that's her and I used to love it when I was younger, when she actually cared about my wellbeing. "Wands, she's already said she has enough pillows." Mama sighs, her own frustrations growing. "Yes, sorry you did." Mom apologises, slowly putting the pillow down she had in her hands.

"Can I get you anything else? Some food. Though the food here is pretty horrible. When you're back home, I'll make sure to cook you something tasty with the food you're allowed to eat." She starts to ramble. I'm not going to lie, that does sound amazing, and I'd kill for a bowl of paprikash right now. I remember when mom taught me how to cook it. It was one of the last memories I have of us spending quality time together.

I don't realise I'm smiling until I see both my parents looking at me warmly. I quickly shake it off, not wanting to let them think that I'm enjoying this in the slightest. "You know what. A sandwich would be good." I say, taking them both by surprise. I've not been very talkative, but I could do with a break right now. I know I won't be able to get rid of both of them, but I can at least take a break from mom fussing.

"Of course. I'll go and make you something up and bring it down. The bread is always dry here." She speaks, grabbing a couple of things and turning to leave. "Maybe I'll check with Cho if you could have a smoothy." She mumbles, making mama chuckle as she leaves.

I let out a breath of relief. I feel slightly less suffocated. But I am still very aware of mama's eyes boring into me. I'm used to her being quiet. She always observes, making her conclusions before talking when it's necessary. But seeing her now, it feels different. I'm pretty good at reading people and I can tell that she is lost in her own thoughts. I've only seen her like it a couple of times before and it's been after particularly difficult missions. Ones that bring up bad memories for her.

I grab the TV remote and try and find something to watch. I end up with Rizzoli and Isles on. I don't really watch it, but the sound is helping to break the awkward silence. Just after they break the case in the show, I notice mama sit more upright in her seat.

"When I found you in Hydra, I knew instantly that I wanted to help you. There was something about you that melted my heart. When we found out that you had no family to return you to, it wasn't even a question, I knew I was going to adopt you. In that short space of time, I had spent with you, I grew to love you." She starts. I don't look to her, my focus on the TV.

"Even though you had been through so much, you had this happiness around you. You were grateful for everything and found the joy in the smallest thing. I just wanted to give you a life that you deserved. When I married Wanda, I was so happy that I could give you two loving parents." From the corner of my eye, I can see her smile tearily as she picks at the skin around her fingers.

"I failed you Y/n. When I adopted you, I promised that I would be the best parent to you. That you would never want for anything. What's worse, is I never even noticed what I was doing. What we were both doing. I've always prided myself on being able to read people, but I couldn't see the damage I was doing to my own daughter." She continues, pain evident in her voice.

"I wish I could go back in time to change how we acted with you. To include you fully with the twins, to support you in your work in the Shield Programme. To show that even with the boys, you were loved and an integral part of this family. All I can do is apologise and promise that we are not going to let that happen again." She finishes, finally look up to me, a couple of tears falling down her cheeks.

"It's been years. We're not just talking about a couple of months here." I speak up, still not able to lock eyes with her. "Steve became more of a parent for me than the two of you." I admit, and that seems to make mama's heart break a little more. "Is it because I'm not biologically yours and moms?" I ask, my voice shaking.

Mama is quickly to her feet and takes my hand in between both of hers. "No. Of course not Detka, and I will forever hate myself that I've allowed you to think otherwise." She tries to reassure me, a panic in her eyes. "I wish I could give you a reason for why we acted like we did. Initially, it was because we were so focused on the boys, but after that, I have no idea. I wish I could pinpoint why, maybe it would make this all easier. I know you probably don't believe it, but I love you as much as those boys. Blood doesn't matter to me. You are my daughter as much as they are my sons. I know and feel that through every fibre of my body." She expresses. The sincerity is evident in both her voice and facial expressions. "Saying sorry isn't going to fix this. You only knew what you were doing because I called you out on it. Had I not gotten shot, would you have made any effort to rectify what was wrong?" I question her, my anger growing.

"We wanted to. We were planning on taking you to breakfast to talk and work out a way that we could make things right with you. But you had gone, and we couldn't get to you. You have a lot of people at Sheild that love you." She chuckles humourlessly. That is true. Maria is like an aunt to me and her and Fury happily kept my room allocation secret, "Look, I know that we don't deserve your forgiveness, but it doesn't mean that we are going to stop trying." She states firmly.

"It's not that simple mama. I have learnt to live without you now and I've got my own place with Shield. We can both move on with you getting your perfect biological family and I get the career I want." I say, but that only makes mama cry more. "No, our family is only perfect if you are in it too!" She almost shouts, but she's quick to calm herself down. "Look, we've got to live together through your recovery, let's just see how things go after that ok." She proposes. "Fine, but I can't promise anything will change." I respond and she nods. "I know. But I'm going to try everything to earn your forgiveness." She comes back with a newfound confidence.

We fall back into a silence, one that feels more comfortable. Mama looks less stressed, but her brow is still furrowed. When mom returns, the quiet is broken again, despite mama trying to get her to calm down. I try not to smile when she tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. I miss this caring side of my parents so much. But for me, it's too little, too late.

Part 3

Taglist: @reggierizzoli @ordelixx @mousetheorist

[goldenwilliamson]

hard conversations | leah williamson

pairing: leah williamson x reader

summary: another angsty one featuring the game of 'we're not really strangers'. reader and leah end up having a fight about different feelings towards having kids and getting married. it turns out alright in the end but. does discuss poor relationship with parents/family.

word count: 1.9k

You and Leah sat down on the lounge, crossed legged and facing each other while you sipped on some wine. Leah's phone played music through the speaker and you had decided to play a little game that Leah had bought called 'We're Not Really Strangers'.

"So it gets us to ask each other thoughtful questions?" You asked, flicking through the red cards in the box.

"Yeah, it's supposed to help people feel more connected," Leah explained.

"Fun," you said, always happy to engage in a deep conversations.

You leant back on the lounge as Leah rifled through the cards, pulling out the first one.

"Alright, in one word, describe how you feel right now," Leah flicks the card with her other hand as she watches you expectantly.

"One word?" You sigh with a smile on your face, "Grateful."

"Grateful for what?" Leah asks.

"For a night in with you," you say, taking a sip of your wine. Leah lifts her glass off the coffee table and holds it out towards you.

As your glasses clink together Leah says, "I'm grateful for this too."

You're already enjoying this game, feeling excited over what questions might come up.

Your first question to ask Leah was 'How would you describe me to a stranger?'. She smirked as she let her mind wander.

"Well, I would say that you're the best footballer I've ever seen. You are the most loyal friend. You're the smartest person I know, and I learn so much from you daily. I'd say that you're the most beautiful girl in every room, and probably that you're great in bed," Leah says, making you laugh with her final statement.

"I mean, I hope you wouldn't tell a stranger about our sex life, but I'll take the compliment," you say proudly.

It's Leah's turn to pull a card again, this time asking 'What dating advice would you give your younger self?'. The question makes you both laugh, your dating history being almost a joke in your relationship.

"Stop dating boys, you're not attracted to them," you say with a laugh.

"Easy one for you," Leah shakes her head, tucking the card in the back of the pile.

It was your turn again and your eyebrows raise as you quickly glace over the question, "Ooh, deep one. What fear do you think holds me back the most?" You ask, unsure about what Leah might say.

She looks at you, as if weighing up how best to say what she wants to say.

"Honestly?" She raises her eyebrows, and you nod, urging her to continue.

"I think your fear of the future might be holding you back a little bit," she says, and you look into the wine in your lap while you process the words.

"What do you mean by that?" You ask, trying not to let your defences come up.

"Um," Leah rolls her lips together as she tries to find the best explanation.

"I just think whenever I try to bring up the future of our relationship you can shut down a bit," she says, and you nod.

You know she has a point. You being a few years younger than Leah, you struggled to envision those big life events like getting married or having kids. For you, all those events seemed rather inconceivable, especially since your own parents had gotten divorced and you don't have the best relationship with either of them. But for Leah, these were things that she desperately wanted, so when they came up in conversation, knowing it might cause friction, you tend to stay silent.

"You mean when we talk about getting married or having kids?" You question.

"Well when I talk about getting married and having kids, yeah," Leah affirms.

"I mean, that's just not really something I think about," you shake your head, not sure how else to explain that at this stage of your life marriage and children isn't a priority. Of course you love Leah and want to spend the rest of your life with her, but you have never felt like you need a ring on your finger or a marriage certificate for that to happen.

"But see, that upsets me Y/N," Leah places her wine glass back down on the table and you see her eyebrows knit together, frustration building. You sigh and copy her motions, placing your glass down as well.

"I see my future with you, and when you say that you don't think about it, it makes me feel like you don't want me to be a part of yours," Leah explains and you instantly reach out to grab her hands, rubbing them soothingly with your thumbs.

"Lee, I want you in my future. I love you so much, and I don't want to be with anyone else."

Leah gently tugs her hands out of yours, "But you don't want to marry me, or start a family. Those things are important for me!" She stresses.

You rub your face with your hands, "I understand they're important for you Leah, but right now at this stage of my life I don't want marriage and children."

"You don't want them now, or you don't want them ever?" Leah asks, crestfallen.

You pause, not knowing what how to respond without breaking Leah's heart, but it seems that you do that anyway. She sucks in her bottom lip and shakes her head before storming out of the lounge room and up stairs, distantly slamming a door as you stay seated with your head in your hands.

You're overcome with emotion, not knowing how such a lovely night could turn so sour. Wiping tears away you stand from the lounge and take the half full wine glasses to the kitchen and pour them down the sink, knowing your nice evening together was well and truly over. As you give them a rinse you try to collect your thoughts and work out how to approach this topic with Leah.

After setting the glasses down to dry you walk tentatively up the stairs, feeling nervous for how Leah might respond to you. Your bedroom door is shut and you knock lightly before turning the handle and pushing it open slowly. Leah is laying in bed, turned away from the door, giving you no response.

"Leah, darling, can we talk this out?" You ask, staring at the back of your girlfriends head and stepping into the room, closer to the bed.

"There's nothing to talk about," she says sharply.

"There clearly is," you respond as you sit down by her feet at the end of the bed. You reach out to squeeze her leg through the duvet but she scoffs and pulls away, sitting up so her back is resting against the headboard. She crosses her arms as she looks at you, waiting for you to continue.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you," you say, feeling genuinely sick to your stomach that Leah has gotten to this state. She just shakes her head.

"I just need you to know that while I don't see myself as a mother or married in the next couple of years, that doesn't mean it's off the cards for me," you say.

"But what if you're never ready for those things? I can't wait my whole life for you to want it Y/N," Leah sighs.

"Well, what if I don't want it?" You ask now, eyes welling with tears, terrified of what this conversation could lead to.

"I know how badly I want kids of my own one day, and how I want to start a family with the woman I love. But if you're not sure that you will ever want that, I'm not sure if we're right for each other," Leah says, voice breaking as she talks.

"See this is why I shut down when this comes up," you are unashamedly crying now, "I just need time Leah! I'm only 23 years old, how can you expect me to know this just now?"

You sob into your hands and Leah moves on the bed, crawling beside you to hold you against her. She wraps her arms around you and guides your head onto her shoulder, rubbing soothing circles into your back.

"I'm so sorry," Leah sighs into your ear.

"I don't want to lose you," you cry even harder as you vocalise your biggest fear.

"You're not losing me, I'm right here," Leah says, stabilising herself to comfort you in your obvious state of distress.

"You deserve someone who wants what you want," you say, gasping for breath between words.

"Shh, it's okay," she leans back to hold your face between both hands, trying to look you in the eyes. You pull your hands between Leah's, covering your face. She grabs your wrists gently and lowers them before wiping your damp cheeks with the cuffs of her jumper.

"I'm sorry, baby, you're right. I shouldn't expect you to give me an answer right now. I think just because I've always known what I want, I find it hard to imagine that it might be a more difficult decision for other people," Leah says, and you nod, knowing where she's coming from.

"It's just hard for me, you know, obviously you're close with your family so it's different. I've always been scared to get married and have kids because my parents had such a hard time with it all, and I'm not very close with them because of it," you say honestly.

"I know, baby, I understand," she says.

"But if I was to build a family with anyone, I'd want to do it with you, Leah. Do you know the first time I met your whole family I went home and cried," you admit, thinking back on that first Williamson family lunch where you'd felt so embraced by them.

"You cried! Why?" Leah says with concern.

"No, it was more happy tears. I'd just never seen a family that loved each other like you guys do, I guess I was crying for younger me who wished I could've had that type of upbringing."

"Oh, my girl, you'll always have that love from me and my family," she assures you.

"I hope so. And it brings me comfort knowing that any child of ours would be loved like that too," you say.

"Of course they would," Leah nods, pressing her forehead against yours.

"I just need you to know that I do want that with you Leah. Just probably a bit further down the line," you say.

"Okay, I can wait for that," she says.

You press your lips against Leah's and she kisses you back gently, apologetically.

"I love you," you say, and she says it back.

"But we're not playing that bloody card game again," you say, making Leah laugh.

"Hey, it did bring it closer didn't it?" She smiles and you shake your head. In some strange way it did.

You and Leah decide to call it a night, crawling under the sheets together. She holds you tightly against her, kissing you softly on the back and side of your neck as you both calm down from the heightened emotions. For the first time you do actually let yourself think about being a mother, and it isn't the scariest idea in the world. You fall asleep with ease in Leah's arms, feeling your future together stretching out before you.

[genshinwomenontop]

"Even after Centuries later"

☆Prompt: Cloud Retainer and your love story. You're an Adeptus as well.

☆Warnings: Fluff, just fluff.

For as long as you can remember, you've been by Xianyun's side, even when Ganyu was a baby. While she wasn't an expressive person, she did always made sure to show her love to you in ways that only you understood. You're love story with Xianyun was a tale to tell among the people of Liyue. The story of the two Adeptus that loved each other since Liyue was created.

You were the only Adeptus that dwelled among the humans, not only that, you wanted to keep an eye out for Shenhe and Ganyu. When the girls were babies, both of them being babies at separate time, you were the one who always pampered and loved them, and the only Adeptus to understand humans. Though Shenhe was not used to that kind of treatment, she had a different level of respect and love for you.

Since the war, the Adeptus decided to live in the nature, not wanting to dwell the humans but you choose to stay, and live alongside Rex Lapis. Xinayun didn't like that, she couldn't bare the thought of being separated from her beloved partner but she never told you, nor did she express it in anyway, but loving her so long made you understand her even when she wasn't doing anything.

Xianyun was also quite the jealous and overprotective type so when she heard that you've been having lots and lots of attention lately, she had to go down there.

When rumors went around that a beautiful lady came into Liyue, during the Lantern Rite, you had no clue who it was, but Rex Lapis, or Zhongli did, he did not tell you,he waited for that every scene to unfold. You and Ganyu were walking around Liyue, with Shenhe trailing along. The city was peaceful and harmonious, something that the Adeptus fought so hard to achieve and because of you, it was kept that way. They don't call you the 'sustainer of peace' for nothing.

You and Shenhe was accompanying Ganyu to pick up a perfume from Yinger and she had a very strong attraction towards you. "Ah Ms. Y/n, you are looking lovely as the morning sun~" she approached you and held your face.

You smiled and gently removed her hand,"Thank you Ms. Yinger, I'm actually accompanying my dau-I mean friend to pick up something that Lady Ningguang had ordered?"

"Ah yes the perfume. I'm sure that something is going on since she's been ordering so many perfumes lately, but let me get that for you lovelies~"

When she ran off to bag the perfume, Shenhe chuckled, "Well that's five for the morning."

"Master Y/n has been getting alot of attention lately. I wonder what cloud retainer would think if she saw this," Ganyu giggled along with Shenhe, both of them imagining what Xianyun would do.

"Girls,you do have a wild imagination don't you?"

Yinger came back and handed you the perfume. "Well, here you go. It was lovely giving it to you. I do hope you can return the favour," she winked as you walked away.

"That woman..." you sighed.

Ganyu and Shenhe left for the Jade Chamber and you sat down with Zhongli, a sigh escaping your lips. "A rough day friend?"

"Oh dear, don't get me started. Has anything changed about me Zhongli?" He sipped his tea as he hummed.

"You have gotten alot attractive these last few days. I can see why you've been getting this much attention. Don't you like it?"

"I mean... I... I don't know. Its nice and all but every time I smile or say something nice back to someone, I can only see Cloud Retainer. It's like she's watching me from the mountains."

"How long have you seen each other?"

"For almost two years. I've been busy!"

Zhongli's eyes drifted behind you before returning back to you. "Don't you miss her?"

"I do. But I can't go now, she'll sense something is wrong and begin questioning me. You know how inquisitive she can." You sipped your cup of tea.

"One certainly is not inquisitive!" You spat out your tea and let out a scream. Zhongli laughed as you saw a very angry cloud Retainer behind you. She was in her human form.

"C-cl-baby! Hello!"

"Don't baby me. Do you like these attentions that are given to you?" Her arms were folded, and she glared at you.

"I-no! I don't..." As an Adeptus, you weren't afraid of anything. Anything except your wife.

She sighed before relaxing and taking a seat. "Re-Ehem, Zhongli. It's a pleasure to see you again. One was concerned with your well being."

"Xianyun. Its good to see you as well. Y/n here has been missing you quite alot these days."

Xianyun opened one eye and she stared at you. "I doubt she has. With all the attention she's been receiving and accepting, I don't think she misses me one bit."

"My love don't say that."

Zhongli smiled as he watched the two of you bicker back and forth. "Hmmm, just like old times."

The three of you sat down and caught up. Zhongli told Xianyun how the human world is like and to say she wasn't pleased was an understatement but having you by her side will help her to cope. Zhongli bid goodbye to you both as you took Xianyun on a walk and since it was night, Liyue looked even beautiful but nothing could beat the beauty of your wife. "One can feel your intense gaze." She said as she smiled slightly.

You held her hand as the two of you went to Mt. Laixin, using your adeptal powers to get there. "You're beautiful. Keep staying in this form will ya?"

"Ha! So you are implying that my animal form is not beautiful?"

"N-no that's not what I meant! I meant to say that you're beautiful and that this form suits you well. I can even get to kiss you and hold you properly." Xianyun blushed and adjusted her glasses.

"Hmmph! If you insist, I shall remain in this form. I want to settle down in Liyue Harbor for a couple of years. I would like to engage in the human world and their daily activities."

The two of you took a seat on the grass, admiring the big moon. "Well the human life isn't hard once you get to adapt to it. I'll even help you." She nodded as she kept admiring the moon.

"Do you remember our wedding night? That night certainly hasn't left my mind," she chuckled. That night, the two of you showed each other how much you really loved each other. You even used your adeptal powers to give you a male genital to please Xianyun.

"I do. It's one of those nights I'll never forget."

"Since one will be staying here... can we do it again? And this time, let's try for a child." You stared at her with wide eyes.

"H-huh?"

"I know you are not incapable of hearing. I request a child from you."

"Really? I-I... that's-that's great news! I'd be more than happy to have you bear my child!"

You lifted her up and twirled her around as she let out a small squeal. "This is amazing! We can finally have a child! I can't wait! Let's start tonight!"

Before she could protest, you were already on your way home, using your powers you got wings and you held her bridal style as you flew home. Xianyun gently grabbed your face as she admired your features. "I love you y/n," she pressed a kiss to your cheek with a small smile.

"Well I love you even more. Even after centuries, my love for you never faded and it never will."

[oracle-of-dream]

taesan smut!

Just Talking

Summary: Taesan and you have a strange relationship. When you're invited on a talk show and finally get to see him again, he can't wait to get some alone time with you.

Warnings: Idol!Male Reader, Degration, Cum Swallowing, Blowjob, Deepthroat, Begging, Hairpulling

Wordcount: 1.5k (Not Proofread)

Taesan squeezed your side as his hand wrapped around your waist, leaning close to whisper in your ear. "I not play with me. Don't think for a second that just because other people are in the room. I won't just fuck you here."

You and Taesan were invited to do an interview for a radio talk show. Even though you were in separate groups, something always brought you back together. Eventually, Taesan took his chance and kissed you backstage at another event–which started the strange relationship you found yourself tangled in. On camera, you were colleagues at best. But alone, Taesan loved to be possessive over you.

You'd been with him for a few months and with how rarely you got to be in the same place at the same time as him–he made every second count. Even slightly teasing you in front of the camera in subtle ways. One of their favorite things was poking his cheek with his tongue, mocking the way you looked with his cock in your mouth. Breathing hard, eyes rolled back, twitching to show you what he wanted later.

Maybe you'd gotten a little carried away... It was pretty normal for him to tease you, it was only right you tried to get back at him! So you may have squeezed his thighs while he spoke, grabbed at his hard cock during song breaks, and whispered naughty things in his ear. That was totally normal. But he'd never threatened to fuck you openly before... You could only sit there and smile as the cameras flashed and fans cheered and screamed from behind the gate. Taesan answered a few questions and then turned to you for your reply.

You swallowed hard. "Y-Yes! Taesan and I are closer now. We've even met up to eat meals sometimes."

"Ahh, y/n, you can't tell them about our dates," Taesan whined. He knew his fans loved the tension between you, while it ate at you being the center of attention.

The hosts went along with it–playfully teasing about meeting Taesan outside of work as dates. But they didn't know they actually were dates. Or hookups. Whatever he wanted that night.

"Well, we're going to end this small talk section here. Thank you so much to these talented people for coming to our show and we can't wait to see more from them going forward!" The hosts started closing out the show as Taesan packed up his things. You started grabbing your things too, but froze when Taesan grabbed your hand.

"Got anything after this?" He muttered. You heard some cheering from fans outside, looking in through the glass of the studio that was open to viewing.

"T-Tae–" You pulled your hand away. "I don't have anything but you can't keep doing that. What if they start figuring it out?"

He shrugged. "It doesn't matter. As long as I've got you, baby."

You rolled your eyes as you reached for your bag. Taesan was quicker and snatched it up. "Let's walk together, talk a little?"

Talking was Taesan's way of asking to hook up without tipping off anyone.

"Fine. We can talk."

He smirked. "Fine? We don't have to if you don't want to. But you seemed pretty into talking earlier, especially when others were watching. Maybe you're into that?" He leaned close, closing the gap between your bodies but hovering slightly away from you. "You wanna talk right here, in front of everyone? I've got no problem. And if you're the type who wants everyone to know who you are on the inside, we can do that."

You pushed him away. "N-no, let's talk in private."

"That's more like it," Taesan grumbled before pulling you away.

You darted around a few corners before finding an empty makeup room. Taesan pushed you inside, locked the door, and threw your stuff on the floor.

"Finally, it feels like ages since I had you last." He was about to pounce on you before you stopped him.

"Please no marks! The other members have been asking questions, and nothing too rough. The fans will notice if I'm limping out of here..."

Taesan grumbled as his shoulders fell. "That what can I do? My baby won't help me?"

"N-no, I'll still help you. I just can't let you go wild..."

"The least you could do is suck me off."

You nodded in agreement. "I can still do that."

Taesan gave a smirk and tongued his cheek. "Do it right, or I'll make you." He pushed you on the ground in front of him and stood over you. "Well? My cock's not gonna suck itself."

You've given him dozens of blowjobs, and the way he looks at you still makes you shy before every time. The way his eyes glare down, his head not even bothering to tilt and look down at you, making you feel less than him. You loved it, and he knew it too. You unbuckled his pants and pulled down both the pants and his underwear. Taesan's cock bounced out to greet you, shaking and throbbing with excitement.

"Don't tease me," Taesan warned. "Get to the good part." He grabbed the base of his cock and pointed his tip to your lips, pushing on the back of your head so they'd meet. He was always so demanding and impatient. But it was even more hot to you when he yelled at you.

You shyly kissed it, earning a hiss of appeasement. You gave it more kisses until it started leaking. He must've been saving it for you, his cock was almost like a faucet of pre-cum. You took the head into your mouth, placing your hand as the base, slowing you moved to make your lips and your hands meet around his cock.

Taesan's head rolled back as he pushed his hips forward, leaning back, making sure there wasn't an inch of them that was untouched. But he'd only be satisfied with that for so long.

With each stroke, your head went further down his shaft until you hit a part that made you gag.

"Oh, baby, don't stop now. You're doing amazing." Taesan's eyes rolled back as he faintly whispered swears.

You tried to continue but it was too much, there was no way you could swallow him whole. You'd never done it before.

"Taesannie, I can't–"

"Oh shut up! Then gag on it if you have to! No one wants to hear you talking right now!" He pushed your head down, forcing his cock down your throat. His jaw went slack as he guided you to move how he wanted–deep and fast. You struggled to keep yourself from gagging, but once his cock hit the back of your throat, you couldn't help choking and spitting everywhere. "Don't you dare make a mess on my clothes," He warned.

Your eyes streamed tears as he used you. Your brain was covered in fog as it began to fall numb, starting from your knees. It went all the way until you couldn't even feel yourself gagging anymore.

Taesan was losing it, fucking his favorite Fleshlight. "Oh, baby, you're so fucking warm. You're so cute when you're obedient–you'd choke yourself to death on it if I wanted, right?"

You moaned as your half-lidded eyes raised.

"Of course you would. But I need you, forever, I can't let you go... So, you'll just have to settle for all this cum I've saved just for you." Taesan's voice started to peak as he struggled to focus. "Relax, and take it, baby." He grunted as his cum shot across your tongue and down your throat, each pulse making his whole body shake. "J-Jesus, fuck~!"

When Taesan lost the strength to hold onto you anymore, his hands dropped, but your head didn't stop moving. You kept sucking through his orgasm.

"Wait– S-Stop!" He pleaded. His fingers dug into your shoulders.

You couldn't hear anything. Or register the pain. You just wanted to clean him completely, since he told you not to make a mess. You swallowed everything dutifully and cleaned him off, all while he struggled in your mouth.

"Baby! Y/n! Please, stop sucking. I'll pass out!" He begged, which finally convinced you to stop. As soon as his cock slipped out of your mouth with a wet pop, Taesan snatched his pants and pulled them back up. "I forget how much of a cock slut you are..."

You just smiled while he sat a few more insults at you.

Taesan knelt down to you and wiped your face. "Are you okay? I wasn't too rough?" His concern bled through the facade he'd put on for you.

"I'm fine~!"

"I'm glad. You're so weird, getting off on me being mean to you." He noticed the wet patch in your pants. "And you came in your pants. Again. You'll have to wait before that dries so you can leave."

"Will you wait with me?"

Taesan kissed you. "If that's what you want, of course."

"Can you... say it a little meaner?" You blushed.

"You're a real pain in the ass." Taesan groaned. "Fine. I'll stay."

[kaleldobrev]

Hauled Up

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sam recruits you to try and convince Dean to stop hauling up in his room

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Cursing (1x), Mutual pining & Fluff

Authors Note: Takes place in season 14 | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

As you were watching some Netflix, there was a hefty knock on your bedroom door. You had hoped that it was Dean who was knocking as you hadn't seen him in pretty much a few weeks since he had gotten back, but you knew that was a long shot. "Come in!" You called out, pausing the program that you were watching.

About two seconds later, Sam appeared, and he looked insanely drained and tired; something that's been pretty much normal for him over the last few weeks. Between helping the hunters who had come from the Apocalypse World and trying to find any information on where Dean/Michael could have been. Thankfully with Dean back, the only thing really draining him now was making sure the "newbies" knew how to handle certain cases on their own or through team-ups.

"Hey, can you do me a favor?" Sam asked, his voice sounding a little hesitant.

"Sure, what is it?" You asked. It could be a numerous amount of things as while Dean was gone, you had became Sam's right hand, assisting him with the other hunters. You were either helping to find cases, going on team-ups, cooking giant meals for everyone that could last days, or bandaging people up when they came back from a hunt.

"I need you to try and get Dean out from his room. He's been hauled up there for weeks. It's not good for him," Sam said, sighing a little.

"I think he just wants to be alone Sam. I mean, I don't really blame him. He was gone for weeks, and then when he came back, he came back to a place full of people that he doesn't know, not just us," you stated. You couldn't imagine what Dean went through while Michael was possessing him doing God Know's What. As much as you didn't mind having the other hunter's here, you knew that with these other hunters here, Dean couldn't really be himself even if he wanted to be. "Why can't you try and get him out?"

"I think you're the only person that might be able to," Sam stated.

"And why do you think I'd be able to convince him?" You questioned, raising a brow.

Sam looked at you, giving you one of those 'you know exactly why' look. It wasn't a secret that you and Dean had feelings for each other, and have had these feelings for each other for the past couple of years. It was one of those things that even though neither one of you had directly said to each other that you have these feelings; it was kind of a known fact how the two of you felt about each other.

You sighed. "I can try."

Walking into the kitchen, you had decided that one of the things that you were going to do in order to try and convince Dean to come out of his room was bring apple pie as a kind of offering to him.

As you gathered the ingredients, one of the hunters from the Apocalypse World walked into the kitchen with a big smile on their face. "You making apple pie Y/N?" He asked, rubbing his hands together.

You nodded. "Yeah, I'm making a pie for Dean," you said, starting to chop up the apples.

The man sat down at the counter, and even though you didn't directly look up at him, you could have sworn that he rolled his eyes at your response. As much as you had wanted to comment, you decided to ignore it. "Anything that I can help you with?" You asked.

"Hoping you can make this pie for me instead of Dean," he stated. Instead of the eyeroll like he had done before it was a wink; and it took all you could not to roll your own eyes.

"I remember you saying how much you hated apple pie," you stated, putting the apples into a bowl of cinnamon sugar.

"But I've never had your apple pie Sweetheart," he said, winking again.

This time, you had decided to say something, as you did not like when someone other than Dean had called you Sweetheart. "It's Y/N, not Sweetheart."

"It's just a nickname Y/N," he said. "Lighten up."

Before you could comment any further, you heard someone clear their throat in the doorway; and when the two of you looked up, looking into that direction, it was Sam with a clipboard in his hand. "Jones, shouldn't you be getting ready for your wendigo hunt with Xander?"

Jones looked at Sam for a moment, before looking at you. "Can't wait to eat this when I get back," he winked, getting up from his spot at the counter and making his way out of the kitchen.

As soon as Jones was out of the earshot, Sam sat down on the same stool that Jones was sitting at a few seconds before. "I could have handled that myself you know," you stated, giving the piecrust a gentle coating of butter to make sure that it didn't completely burn in the oven.

"I know, I'm sorry," Sam said, slightly sighing. "Gonna try bribery?" He asked, pointing to the pie.

"I call it motivation," you shrugged.

With the pie finally done, you placed it onto a tray along with two forks and a pint of vanilla ice cream. You doubted you'd be able to convince Dean to come out of his room, but maybe you can convince him to at least share some of the apple pie that you had made for him with you so he could at least have some kind of social interaction.

Lifting up the tray, you took a deep breath and made your way out of the kitchen, heading to Dean's room.

Upon coming up to his door, it was shut like it has been the last several weeks, the sounds of his television blasting as he watched a horror movie (which sounded remotely like the All Saint's Day series to you, as you thought you could vaguely hear Hatchet Man's voice).

Knocking on the door, you heard Dean sigh loudly and pause the television. "Fuck off," he said, his voice annoyed.

"I don't really want to eat this apple pie by myself," you said, your voice a little low.

You heard Dean get up from his bed, slightly sighing. A few seconds later, his door opened and he looked down at you as you held the tray in your hands. "Sam put you up to this?" He asked.

"He asked me to try and convince you to come out of your room. But, I know I wouldn't be able to convince you, so, I decided to make some apple pie for us to share together instead," you smiled.

Dean eyed you and the pie for a moment before stepping to the side. "I'm watching All Saint's Day two," he said.

"Perfect," you said, stepping inside his room.

"Thanks for trying not to convince me," Dean said, between bites. "You're the only one I feel like gets it." He knew that you were the only person to get it, as you and him always seemed to be on similar wavelengths.

"I might not necessarily know what you went through but...I just know for me, if I came back to a Bunker full of strangers, I'd want to haul up in my room too," you said, wiping your mouth.

"You outdid yourself this time with the pie," he commented.

"It's how I always make it," you said.

Dean shrugged. "I don't know tastes...better than usual."

"Probably because you haven't had it in a while," you stated.

"Probably," he agreed.

"I hope you enjoyed your pie," you smiled, grabbing the tray; no more pie or ice cream in sight.

"I did, thanks," Dean said, sitting on the edge of the bed as he watched you make your way to his bedroom door. "You didn't have to make it for me by the way. I know you've been busy with all the other hunters."

"Dean, I wanted to," you began, walking back to the bed where he was and placed the tray of empty dishes next to him. "Besides, I'll never be too busy for you," you stated, taking his hand in yours and giving it a gentle squeeze. "You mean a lot to me Dean, you know that," you added.

The feeling of your hand in his was one that he longed for these past couple of weeks, but he didn't necessarily know how to ask for it. "You mean a lot to me too," he stated. More than you'll ever realize, he wanted to add. He took your other hand in his as he stood up from his spot on the bed gently looking down at you.

"Want to help me with the dishes and then we can come back in here and do something?" You asked him. "We can either watch something or just go to sleep; up to you," you softly smiled.

"I'd like for us to take a drive together. Feel like Baby's been neglected these past few months I've been away," he grinned; a brief chuckle leaving his lips.

"I'd like that," you smiled.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @octoberclidan @kidwhofixates @crystal555 @hannahisthebanana @seamlessepiphany @madzzz0797 @livingordeadwhoknows @writinginfear @Roskar16 @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream @midorimachisenpaii @rachiem4-blog @taraswifes @zepskies @jackles010378 @mrsjenniferwinchester @globetrotter28 @deans-spinster-witch @mrlonelycat @frozenhuntress67 @coldspoons @androah If you'd like to be added to a tag list please follow this link

[lostintransist]

Fallen Angel | Iced Coffee & Scary Movies

>It seems you saved my life 💋 can I take you out for a drink to say thank you?🪳

Staring down at your phone you read the message again. This had to be Simon’s friend that you kissed before they all left for a job. He had been fun to talk to, a little shell-shocked when you layered on lipstick and proceeded to cover him with it before sending him out the door, but still fun.

< I'm still not calling you that. There is a cute early morning cafe I've been wanting to try if you're down.

The reply takes a while to come in. They must have just gotten back from their secretive jobs that take them out of the country. That thought brought on another one. Simon would be coming home and you hadn’t bought a single item of food since he left. He would notice but you prayed that he wouldn’t comment on it.

Your late-night coffee shop hadn’t been doing well. Either word had not gotten out to people that a place existed that wasn’t a bar to hang out late into the night or the universe was out to get you. Maybe you should print flyers to pass out at AA meetings. Now there was a thought.

Your coffee date met you at the cafe you suggested. You'd been wanting to try for months now, but most of your mornings were consumed by sleep since your shop stayed open to customers until 2 AM this was your first chance. Standing in the single beam of sunlight outside of the shop you waited.

When someone stepped close to you and stopped you opened your eyes and smiled.

Hi, ready to go in?

He still wore sunglasses and a surgical mask.

You nodded and turned to catch the door handle. Halfway open he caught the handle from behind you and opened it the rest of the way. He walks by your side as you move close enough to see the menu. A latte could tell you a lot about a coffee shop. Decided you turned to look at your date. His head shifted from side to side as he read the board. When he finally looked at you, he lifted a brow.

Smiling you signed your question.

Do you know what you want? I can order for us.

Iced caramel macchiato, large.

Your date waited with you; hands shoved in his pockets. You didn't take offense, bit hard to know where to go when you had assaulted him with kisses and sent him out the door.

Stepping to the counter you waited your turn. When your turn arrived, the barista called from the espresso machine.

"I'll be just a minute."

"Take your time." You knew how hard those rushes could be.

A few moments pass when the stressed but customer smile in place the barista is ready for your order.

"Hi, what can I get you?"

"Can I get a large iced macchiato and a medium lavender latte?"

"That everything?"

"Actually, I run After Dark a few streets into and I was wondering if you also get milk from one of the local farms."

The barista's brows shoot up, "I've been meaning to try your shop! Your open late right, like midnight?"

Que the awkward smile, "Two actually, but yeah."

"Oh man I love the idea of a late-night spot that isn't all about alcohol. To answer your question yes, has your milk been going bad really fast too?"

"Yes! I didn't want to stop ordering from them without asking another shop. I worried that I was just getting bad batches."

"Nope, not just you. Now I'll just be a moment to get these ready for you," he quoted the price, and you winced internally. You hadn't been paying yourself beyond rent for a couple months.

A card tapped to the POS from beside you. Your date pressed the 20% tip without hesitation, raising your opinion of him already. Stepping to the middle of the shop you waited for your drinks.

You signed as you spoke.

"Since I refuse to call you a bug, I'll just have to guess your name. Is Roman?"

His shoulders shook slightly in a laugh as he shook his head.

You tapped your chin with a finger.

“Hmm, must be Tilly then?”

You watch him laugh again, and shake his head.

“Ah, must be Galahad then!” You exclaim.

The smile the cracks under his mask can be seen in the way his cheeks pull to the side and the tips of his ears take on a splash of pink.

Gary. My name is Gary.

“Hi Gary, it’s nice to meet you.”

You would sign everything you could to him today. His ears must be on fire with how red they are.

Before he can reply your order is called out. Grabbing both, you hand him his drink before taking a sip of your own.

The warm flavors slide across the tongue and the lavender sits well in your nose.

“Good flavor, not overpowered by either the coffee or the lavender. How is yours?”

Gary shrugged. When he looked at your face you lifted a brow.

Watching the realization wash across him that you understood sign and even expected him to share his thoughts could be called magical.

Good, I like caramel.

“Did you want a sip of mine?” You tilt your cup to him.

He takes the cup, looks down at his hand full of drink and passes off his to you. He lifts the mask enough to try the warm drink. From his brows creeping above the sunglasses, you assume he is surprised but liked it.

Once his mask is settled back in place you trade drinks again.

Did you want to try some of mine?

“Sure,” you lean forward and sip the straw. The chill of the drink is interesting compared to the warmth of your still in your mouth.

“I like it. The weather is decent, did you want to walk?”

At his nod you head for the door. Again, he catches the door before you can hold it for him. Rolling your eyes with a smile you let him handle it.

“Do you like your job?”

Gary waggled his hand to and fro.

“Do you blow stuff up like Johnny?”

A croaking of a laugh has you smiling into your coffee. Taking that as a no.

Do you like having a coffee shop?

“I love it. I love the people who come through and making drinks and giving people a safe space to hang out that isn’t the bars.”

You can see the question in his shoulders.

“I don’t drink, for lots of reasons so going to bars has always been a bit boring for me.”

I would love to come by if you don’t mind.

“I would love if you came by, I even know your order now,” you bumped him with your shoulder.

Gary didn’t stand as tall as most of Simon’s men, but he had to be as solid as any of them. He didn’t move an inch.

What is your favorite science fact?

“Tough question.” You take a sip of your drink giving yourself time to think. “Flames don’t cast shadows.”

Gary stopped.

You made it two steps before you noticed.

Turning back, you can see him pushing up his sunglasses to send you a bewildered look. Biting your tongue you fight back a laugh.

“Do you need a moment?”

Shaking his head he settles his glasses back down on his nose as he falls back into step with you.

---- are more likely to get struck by lightning than people.

“What are?”

He signs the unfamiliar word again.

“Can you spell that for me?”

He pulls out his phone and after a few taps he shows you a giraffe.

“Oh! Is that what the sign is? Cool. Thanks for showing me. And that is an interesting fact.”

Conversation goes on like that until you see a small outdoor market. Gary doesn’t object when you drag him to every stall, showing him interesting art or magnets. You were taken by a pair of earrings, beautifully crafted, handmade and so out of your price range that putting them back didn’t hurt. Gary chatted with you about silly shirts and funny hats.

He warmed up to the date as it went on. Sharing jokes and observations that left you in stitches the day wore on. After you had looked at every booth, Gary took your hand, pulling you along this time. When he neared the movie theater he asked about a show.

Scary movie?

“I’m not a fan but I will make silly comments to you in the dark, so I don’t get too scared.”

Gary held your hand as he bought the tickets, and the popcorn. You visited the restroom before heading in for the movie. No use going into jump scares with an even semi-full bladder. He took your hand back up as you left the bathroom. The theater was empty when you looked around.

Top seats?  You signed to him.

Lifting your joined hands towards the stairs you take the lead. Settling below the projector you reach up at hand. A shadow large as life of your hand appears on the blank screen.

“Yes! I thought this theater might be the one,” turning to him with a grin you continue. “My brother and I would pick these seats when my mom would take us to the movies. We would have to stand on the seats to do it, but we would play shadow puppets while waiting for the show to start.”

You focus on contorting your fingers into a bunny. A dog appears and takes a shadow chomp of your bunny’s ears. Glancing over to Gary you caught sight of his smiling eyes. He had moved his sunglasses to hang off his shirt. The ten minutes until the previews started were filled with your giggles as Gary played shadow puppets with you.

When the movie starts you slide your hand into Gary’s and hold on for dear life as scare after scare tried to take you out. He typed out silly messages on his phone that he showed to you every time you jumped, leaving you laughing instead of cowering.

The walk to the flat you shared with Simon followed the pattern of laughter. When you got to the front door you turned.

“Did you want to come in? I have about an hour before I need to get at the shop.”

Gary shook his head. I have a few things to accomplish today.

“Okay, I can understand that,” you gave him a small smile. You truly didn’t mind; Simon often would be gone for long stretches even when he was home getting things done. “Thanks for the date Gary, I had fun.”

Me too. Hold out your hand.

You do, palm flat.

The pair of earrings that you had regretted not having the money to buy sat in your hand. When you could close your mouth and look up Gary had made it quite a distance.

“Gary!”

He turns enough to wave and keep walking.

Touched beyond words you watch him until he disappears. Looking back to your earrings you decide on an outfit to match them for work tonight.

Fallen Angel Masterlist | Masterlist

[rafelandia]

Nothing's Gonna Hurt You, Baby (Rafe x fem!reader): Chapter One

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Y/N is new to the island and Rafe seeks asylum in the bar she works at.

Author's Note: Hello! Wanted to say thank you for all of the love on my last few writings. The idea of Rafe not realizing he's falling in love, especially with someone he shouldn't, is so personal to me and honestly what made me create this blog in the first place - so here we go! This will be somewhat of a slow burn, friends-to-lovers-ish piece and I can't wait to hear what you all think! Likes and reblogs are obviously welcomed as well as any requests or questions (related to this fic or otherwise - I love drabbling about this man and will write about anything). Enjoy!

It was a rainy night when she first saw him. She was wiping down the counter top with a slightly mildewed rag when the door chime rang, signaling his entrance. He settled into the barstool furthest from the door, almost as if he was hiding from something. Prior to just now, she had been alone in the shitty, oceanside bar that threatened to capsize any day now. She liked it better this way, empty and quiet. Could play her own music, move at her own pace, even close up a little early if she got lucky.

She noticed immediately that he seemed out of his element, like he knew he shouldn't be here. Although she'd only moved here a few months ago, she'd gotten quite good at deciphering pogues from kooks. This man was no pogue. He'd tried to disguise himself - toned arms adorned in a knitted sweater covered in tiny beads of the salty rain. His jeans were tattered, but not from being worn out and washed a million times; like they were manufactured precisely to look like they'd been through hours of tough labor and dirt. What ultimately gave it away was his watch - she'd never seen metal reflect that brightly even in the shitty, yellow glow of the overhead lamps that hung above her. It had to be worth a good chunk of change.

He looked exhausted, stressed, tired, something like that. She knew that feeling. It had been hard starting over here on the island. It had been 3 months since she'd moved into the quaint townhouse further inland, away from most of the liveliness of the city. Making friends had proved to be quite difficult and she'd only just now managed to afford the sofa for her living room that she wanted.

She wasn't sure why, but she was nervous to approach him. He seemed important. Or intimidating at the very least, she wasn't sure. She walked quietly towards him, afraid to even disturb him with her footsteps. Baby blue eyes reach hers before she can greet him.

"Whiskey," he breaks the silence, fingers tapping on the warped wood of the bar top, "Neat."

Chewing on the inside of her lip, she offered him an empathetic smile and nod before turning to face the wall of liquor that lined the shelves.

"You seem out of place," she pointed out, her fingers wrapping around the thick glass bottle to remove the stopper.

"What makes you say that?" the man inquired, eyes pointed down and looking at the rings of water stains from all of the patrons that came here before him.

"Not that hard to tell. You keep bouncing your leg up and down like you're about to pounce and while you seem unassuming in that outfit, I can tell that that sweater is pretty expensive. Maybe it's the cologne, kinda hit me in the face as soon as you walked in. Could be the watch, too. I'm no expert but I think -"

"Okay, I get it," he cut her off with a chuckle as she slid his poison of choice towards him, "Kook caught in pogue territory."

She takes note of the disingenuous look on his face. He seemed to stiffen in his seat.

"You know I only moved here a couple of months ago, but I've noticed you people are obsessed with choosing sides," she thinks aloud, "Why the need to be so divisive?"

He chewed on her words while the thick, amber-colored nectar sloshed between his cheeks.

"Don't know honestly. You raise a fair question," he leans back in the stool, arm moving to drape across the one next to him.

She tried not to stare while she continued to wipe down the rest of the bar. Really, she should leave him alone she thinks. God only knows what kind of power this man holds and what he could do. Who was she to pry?

"Why did you come here to hide, then?" she asked. Fuck it.

The sun-kissed, stoic man across from her inhaled deeply through his nostrils and exhaled through his lips, tongue tracing the bottom of his teeth.

She thinks she's made a royal mistake before, surprisingly, he answers.

"Just wanted to go somewhere where people don't ask questions," he stated, his eyes meeting hers for a split second before focusing back to his drink that was nearing its end.

Heat crept up to her ears and her stomach turned in embarrassment.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath, "I'm sorry. I'll leave you be."

Her attention diverted back to her closing duties - refilling cocktail napkins and changing over the cooler filled with cut up fruits.

"It's alright," the man smiled as his fingers circled the rim of his glass, "Kinda nice to talk to someone that doesn't need something from me or needs me to fix something."

He notices the way her lips turn down slightly. She felt bad for him.

"You said you just moved here?" he continued.

"Y-yeah. Back in the spring," she stuttered, a sigh of relief taking over when she realized she hadn't ruined his evening.

"Where are you staying?"

"Um, bit of a commuter. I live a few miles inland so I think that marks me safe from the kooks and pogues war," she toyed.

He laughed at her, chest rising and falling with each chuckle.

"Guess it does. You liking it so far?" he asked, genuine curiosity laced in his words.

"It's alright. I mean, I've always loved the beach and the place I found was pretty cheap. Just wanted to get out of where I was before and see what sticks I guess."

The man nods in agreement, silently pondering what it would be like if he did the same. He'd had the impulse so many times. Just pack up and leave. But he's not that bold he thinks. A part of him is scared he won't mean anything to anyone if he steps foot off of Figure Eight.

"Seems nice. You on your Rumspringa or something?"

The woman standing across from him laughed loudly, caught off guard by his jest. Her cheeks flushed and glowing in the dingy lighting of the bar. They really needed to change the bulbs on the overheads.

"Something like that."

He's laughing at his own joke, relishing in the fact that he's made her smile. He's not sure why, but her laugh latches onto him, like the warm sun that bakes his shoulders on a hot and sunny afternoon. He likes it.

"It's really not all that bad at the end of the day," the man says in earnest, "Aside from the...societal tensions, for lack of a better word. It's a really beautiful island."

She's staring at him now. Initially, and shamefully, she'd assumed he was a prick. His kind had stumbled into this bar on occasion and they usually weren't very nice or talkative. They'd run up a tab, speak loudly and vulgarly about a business partner or a girl for hours before stumbling out of the door without tipping. But he seemed different. Like he'd been longing for a conversation that wasn't about closing a deal or for someone to genuinely just ask him how he was. There was something so human behind the eyes of someone you'd expect to be anything but.

"It is," she agreed, smiling at him sweetly, "You need another?"

He hadn't even realized his drink was empty.

Just before he could answer yes, the chime of a cell phone pierced the walls of the bar.

"Sorry," the man huffed, pulling the sleek, black phone from the pocket of his jacket that hung on the back of his stool.

His eyes grew heavy and he sighed when processed the contents of the message, hands moving to run across the lower half of his face in frustration.

"I actually gotta head out," he seemed disappointed when he spoke, now reaching for his wallet that was tucked away in the same pocket. "Is it always this dead in here?"

"More or less," she answered, "It's nice having the place to myself sometimes."

He grinned as she took his card from him. As she walked to the register, she glanced quickly at the name embossed on the plastic. Rafe Cameron.

"I bet," Rafe agreed. "Hard to find that around here these days. Guess I'll add it to my list of hiding spots."

The woman smiled coyly as she slid the clipboard towards him, card, pen, and receipt attached to the hinges.

"You know," she started, "We usually close the patio at 7, but if you ever need some quiet I won't tell anyone."

His eyes locked with hers for a brief second before moving to the receipt, signing his name with an unrecognizable scribble before standing up to redress himself with his coat. He smirked down at his feet, a hint of bewilderment taking over. Why was she being so nice to him? he thought.

He pressed his lips together, pretending to lock them with an imaginary key and patting his chest. Her "secret" was safe with him.

"Have a good rest of your night, Rafe Cameron," she said with a grin.

She's met with a similar smile, a slight dimple forming on the left side of his cheek.

"You too..," Rafe's eyebrow turning up in question.

"Y/N."

He nodded, feet trailing towards the dry rotted front door that inched towards collapse each time it swung on its hinges.

"Have a good night, Y/N," he stated before ducking out of the bar and back into the cool drizzle of the rain.

She went on about her night, grabbing Rafe's glass and placing it in a carton to be hauled off to the dishwasher in the back. Assuming that the rain had scared off any future customers, she decided to close up early and head home to her furry friend that was probably begging for some cuddles and neck scratches.

As she was balancing the drawer in her register, she looked at Rafe's receipt. He'd tipped her triple the cost of the whiskey. Chuckling silently to herself, she wondered if she'd ever see him again. Someone by law of the land she should probably be weary of, Y/N thought she wouldn't mind having someone like Rafe Cameron around.

[bekkathyst]

Hi, long time customer (although I admit it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten anything new) and I have a question about what responsibly sourced means for your business. I’ve seen more and more stuff about the crystal mining industry and I don’t want to have to stop buying them. I will if I need to but I want to know like, where REALLY do your crystals come from? How do you know/what do you mean by responsibly sourced? From other small businesses? Where are THEY getting them?

Mostly I just really want to continue supporting your shop if I can with my purchases but I think I should just ask to make sure.

Hi! Thanks for asking; I think it's an important thing to discuss. I've talked about all of this before but it's been a while, so I thought I'd write it all out again. If things are unclear it's because I'm running on very little sleep atm and a bit overwhelmed with work, but I would be happy to answer any clarifying questions as needed!

So for me, responsibly sourced means that I care about who I am supporting and try to make the best decisions that I can. While it is true that there's no way to 100% know what's going on unless you visit a mine yourself and watch them work, that's why I think that getting as close to the source as possible is really important. I've spent the last 11 years building long-term business relationships with people who own mines, dig crystals themselves, or have smaller operations and employ a lot of their families. There's a huge difference to me between supporting a couple in Uruguay who owns a small mine or two and has their whole family involved in the business versus buying African diamonds from a British company that's been exploiting the land and the people living in it for over a century. The smaller the mine and company, the better. A lot of the people that I work with have introduced me to their whole families, seen my daughter grow up over the years, and often times they'll invite us to visit their country and visit their mines with them. (I'm not in a position to do any world traveling atm lol but I hope one day I can go do this!) I think it's super important that the people from the country where the stones are being mined are the people running the business and actually making the profit from it - not someone from a completely unrelated country coming and taking over the operations and making massive profits by exploiting and mistreating the people who live there.

Also to clarify, I work with wholesalers. As a retail business owner, I can buy from these mines and companies because I have a business license and buy in large quantities to resell; they usually don't sell to the general public, or if they do, it's just at mineral shows once or twice a year. Over the past decade, I've met so many great people at shows and then stayed in contact with them in between shows and have been able to continuously order from them.

So I aim to work with these miners directly as much as I can, but if I do work with a general wholesaler who offers things from several different countries, I use my best judgment and ask questions to make sure that their values align with mine and they're doing their part as well. I also work with a few carving companies that buy rough in bulk from various countries and carve and shape the stones - same thing as above applies.

And it goes further than that too, because if someone does really anything that goes against my personal morals, I stop doing business with them. The strongest example of that that I can think of is there used to be a warehouse I worked with in the US that imported directly from Brazil, but one time the owner said something really racist to me and Antonio in a joking tone. After that, we cut all ties and never went back. It still makes me mad to think he ever got any of our money.

I think this about sums it up, but if you have further questions, I'd be happy to answer after I get caught up on work :)

I'll just end this by saying that you know what you're comfortable with and you shouldn't do anything that goes against your beliefs! I'm running my shop in the way that I think is right but of course, there will always be people with differing opinions.

[rxmqnova]

Can you write something where Wanda’s daughter teases her for wearing a “grandma sweater”? <33

(This is inspired by the paparazzi pics I saw of Lizzie where she was wearing a grandma-looking sweater lmao)

Grandma sweater

Y/N: 15 years old ——————————————————

NO ONE'S POV It's another one of the cold days at the end of November. The Avengers are all somewhere around the compound.

Tony and Bruce are in the lab as usual while the rest of the boys are either at the gym or watching a movie in the living room.

Y/N and Natasha are in Natasha's room, playing some board games and just talking. And Wanda as one of the very few Avengers who can actually cook in this building, is cooking dinner for everybody right now.

"You know you don't have to let me win every time, right? I'm not a child to make a scene if I loose" Y/N asks with a raised eyebrow after winning another round of the current game her and Natasha are playing.

"I know and I didn't let you this time" Natasha playfully raises an eyebrow back, making the younger girl chuckle.

Y/N and Natasha have always had a great relationship. Ever since Y/N was just a little girl, Natasha's been her favorite person right after her mom of course.

"I think your mom might be done cooking by now. Let's go to check it up" Natasha smiles, standing up from the bed the two have been sitting on and holding her hand out for her favorite niece.

Y/N smiles, accepting Natasha's hand and walking to the kitchen with her. The girl isn't as any other teenager, she absolutely loves cuddles and kisses her mom or Natasha are giving her at every opportunity they can.

"Hey, mom. Are you-" Y/N's question fades away when she notices the sweater her mom is currently wearing.

It's a brown grandma looking sweater with 4 knobs. Y/N loves her mom more than anything, but Wanda's clothing style is sometimes a mystery for the teenage girl.

"Mom, what in the world are you wearing?" Y/N asks, trying to hold her laugh.

Wanda furrows her brows in confusion, looking down at her sweater and then back at her daughter.

"I only just bought this sweater a few days ago. I think it looks good. Why? Is anything wrong with it?" Wanda asks, still confused by her daughter's previous question.

"Well, nothing's wrong with it if you're over 60" Y/N teases, still trying to hold up her laugh while Natasha better walks away from that conversation.

"What? It's great. I've seen a lot of people wearing similar ones" Wanda shakes her head turning around to turn off the stove. "Were the people younger than 60?"

"Oh my… it looks good. Nat, tell her it looks great" Wanda sighs, looking at Natasha who better nods.

"Yeah. It looks great!" Natasha confirms as she's learnt over the years it's better to agree with the witch.

"See"

"Mhm" Y/N teasingly nods, trying hard not to laugh and better walks over to Natasha and sits down next to her. Wanda shakes her head and starts taking out plates to prepare dinner for her daughter.

The dinner goes on, Y/N keeps trying not to laugh at Wanda's grandma looking sweater which makes Wanda roll her eyes every time she locks eyes with her daughter.

As nearly every Friday evening the Avengers are spending some time together. It's a movie night tonight, so after dinner everyone meets up in the living room to watch a movie. Y/N catches place between her mom and Natasha, so she could cuddle them.

"You know, mom… If you want to be a grandma already, all you have to do is ask. I can try harder to find a boyfriend or girlfriend who'd agree to start a family with me" Y/N teases on which Wanda immediately nudges her daughter's shoulder playfully.

"Y/N, don't you dare. The sweater is completely normal, I don't know what's gotten into you" Wanda sighs.

"I'm sorry, it just really looks like something only old people would wear" Y/N laughs out.

"If you won't stop, I will buy you a sweater like this and force you to wear it to school" Wanda glares at her daughter, Y/N's laugh immediately fading away at how serious Wanda is.

"You wouldn't" Y/N gives her mom a serious look, but by Wanda's look she can tell her mom is deadly serious. "Fine, I'll stop" The girl mumbles, making Wanda chuckle.

"Come here, you cheeky" She opens her arms for her daughter on which Y/N can't help but smile and cuddle up to her mom. "Is the sweater really that bad?" Wanda asks after a while.

"It's not THAT bad, it just looks like something old people would wear. But you look good in it. Just please don't wear it when you'll be picking me up from school" Y/N says on which Wanda chuckles and kisses her daughter's forehead. "I love you, mama"

"I love you too, my cheeky little monkey"

----------------------

Wasn't sure how to end this🤷‍♀️

Wanda Maximoff masterlist

Masterlist

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

w.count: 1.9k - y/n is implied to have hair long enough to pull back, you know that one hairstick scene in apothecary diaries? yeahhh :))

"do your arms ever get sore from doing your hair like that?"

the sudden question caught baizhu off guard. you were sitting at his desk early in the morning as he was still getting himself up, around and ready. he had asked you to stop by the pharmacy before your day began since you were planning to head out towards mondstadt for a commission that could take up to a weeks' time.

you felt bad coming by so early, especially if you would be waking him up (lord knows he doesn't get enough rest as much as he insists he does). still, despite your worries, he insisted.

it was rare to see him with his long, green hair loose without any ties or his two-pronged hair stick. it was even longer without it being styled, hanging close to the back of his knees. on top of that, he still hadn't put on his glasses, so with his face bare of his 'eyes' and framed by his hair- well, it was a very rare baizhu to witness.

chengsheng was still curled up asleep on a small cushion that sat on top of a stool that stayed near baizhu's bed. as opposed to her morning person of a contractor, she was no morning snake.

as you sit and wait for him to start lecturing you on what herbs or slaves to use and when to use them before packing them away for you- he began tying his hair. watching him pull his front hair back into the bun that would always be perfect and securing it with his double-pronged hair stick, your mouth just starts before you can stop it.

chuckling, he lowers his arms and brushes a few strands of his long hair off his shoulder.

"no i can't say that they do. i've dealt with it long enough my arms are used to it."

fussing with your own hair by twirling a piece around your finger, you shudder at the thought of all the tangles or knots he must experience on a day-to-day basis before he tames it all.

"even if i did feel soreness, i can't simply leave it down now can i?"

you nod along to his point. it would be pretty bad if a pharmacist left his hair down and let it get in the way of his work. not to mention it just wasn't a good look as a doctor. no one wants to get medicine with the bonus addition of green hair.

after properly securing the hair stick in place, he pulls the long strands that are left over his shoulder and starts dividing them into sections for his braid. he did it effortlessly, hardly tangling at all due to practice; his eyes even closed for a while like he found it relaxing!

once he was finished, he could tell you weren't exactly paying attention to reality anymore and your mind was wandered off somewhere else away from him. it was easy for baizhu to read you- you were a pretty expressive person; at least around him. with his hair finished, he slides his glasses over his eyes and lets out a small deflation of relief at finally being able to see properly.

you finally came back to him when he sets a small, drawstring sack that was easily able to attach to your belt in front of your elbow that rested on his desk.

after coming back from your thoughts, you jolted at how close he had gotten. bent at the waist to get a better look at your face as his arm that dropped the sack moved to rest behind his back. baizhu was a man who values undivided attention when conversing and eye contact alone means more to him than most people. it makes him feel respected despite his frail constitution.

although, he admits a small piece of himself finds it entertaining to see people become antsy at prolonged eye contact (he could always tell when they start looking at his forehead or nose instead of his eyes). he never told you that though- it would ruin all the fun.

"oh, sorry," you meekly apologize as he moves to sit in the small stool opposite of you instead of his own proper chair on the other side of the desk. "i didn't realize I zoned out."

"i don't mind," he tells you earnestly. "it's good to see you relax before a long trip."

"mondstadt is hardly a marvelous trek."

"that doesn't take away from the fact that making the trip can be dangerous. who knows what enemies are camping out along the paths."

"i can handle it."

"yes, i know." he does this often. frets over things he knows isn't a big problem in the long run just for the harmless banter with you. besides, the looming threat of enemies is the whole reason he's sending you off with medicine in the first place! he's teasing, and he can see it on your face when you realize and stop responding in order to quell his indulgence.

instead, you turn your sights to the bag. 'let's see', you think as you pull the bag open and start sifting through the contents to see what all he packed. you can also guess how much mora you'll owe him after seeing the goods.

baizhu watched you intently as you dug around in the bubu pharmacy labeled sack. perhaps it was because of your previous converstaion, but he couldn't help but watch as your hair shifted with your movements.

craned over, your hair covered the small part of your face that faced him. the curtain of hair made him realize that you hadn't yet put it up like you usually did- especially when you were about to depart on an expedition.

"your trip to mondstadt," he says lowly as he moves to rest his elbow on the desktop with his curled fingers holding his chin. he wasn't usually one to slouch, but it was early, and he was with only you, so his lazed state was deemed acceptable. "you said you'll be traveling with a group yes?"

"hmm," you hum affirmatively. "some millelith are escorting me to the stone gate. after, i'll be meeting with some knights across the border." while you retell the how's of your trip, you never once look at him. instead, you keep your eyes on your acquired items. he sure packed it full.

"i see," he hums. he quietly lifts himself from his stool and just as quietly moves to stand at your back.

you notice his presence behind you too late because before you can ask what he's doing, his hands come into contact with your loose hair. you feel his knuckles brush against your neck and his fingertips snag and gently tug among the strands as he starts pulling it back. one hand combs through your tresses while the other gathers it all in his palm.

you sit extremely still. not just because you were frozen in shock, but a part of you didn't want to mess up whatever it was that he was doing. your throat closed up as well, so even though you wanted to ask what in the world spurred this on, you couldn't. instead, you studied the shadows casted by his paneled windows caused by the morning sun that was finally starting to rise.

you'd have to leave soon.

before long, you felt him twist your hair before putting a band around it and after he placed something else in it to pin it properly in place.

"there," he mutters as he steps away from your back. you twist to look at him, your hand coming to lightly ghost over your hair. you want to try and get a mental image of what he had done, but he quickly stops you from doing so. the tips of his fingers softly push your arm back towards your lap before leaning down to look at you again in the face. "you wouldn't want to mess it up, now would you?"

you silently shake your head. with him bent at his waist for the second time this morning, you notice that his hair was loose again.

"baizhu-"

"the sun is rising," he interrupts. standing up straight, he offers his hand properly to help you stand. "you best be off soon."

looking behind his shoulder, you see the sunshine beyond the windows. as confused as you were and despite all the questions you had, he has a point. you couldn't keep the millelith waiting. so, you accept his hand and stand. you peek to see if chengsheng had woken up, but she was still blissfully sleeping on her cushion.

"tell chengsheng that im sorry i missed saying goodbye to her. i'll make it up to her next time." she was fond of you after all.

"of course." walking you out, he opens his door and leads you to the long stone staircase. you wave to both gui and qiqi who had already made their way into the pharmacy to start their day. with a few more words, you bid farewell to the good doctor before racing down the stairs to meet with your group.

as he watches you swing a left into town at the bottom of the steps, he feels a tug on his pant leg. looking down, he see's little qiqi and kneels to get eyelevel with her.

"yes, qiqi?"

"doctor baizhu... your hair is still down." baizhu chuckles.

"ah, yes. i must've forgotten to do it this morning." his hand comes to pat her hat-clad head. "thank you for reminding me." qiqi felt gleeful at being the one to remember something for once and she nods at him when he stands and moves to return to his room.

he'd have to settle for a slightly different hair style today. as chengsheng wakes up and sees her contractor with a pair of chopsticks crossed in his bun instead of his special hair stick and a braided ribbon instead of a clear band for his braid, she grows curious.

"what happened to your normal thingss?" she inquires as he offers his arm to her and lets her slither up it to coil around his neck. he chuckles as her head moves to stay lifted around his face for easy conversing.

"i lent them to someone." he moves to leave his room for the second time that morning but stops short of the door. "oh, y/n expresses their apologies for already departing the harbor." with a small tut from chengsheng, she coils around him once more before laying her head on his shoulder.

"of coursse." if the snake could roll her eyes, she would've. "has anyone ever told you that you can be rather posssesssive, baizhu?"

"i'm afraid i don't know what you're talking about."

"i'm here! sorry for the wait!" you huff as you join up with the group of three millelith soliders. you were debreifing with the group leader while the others stood behind you away enough that you couldn't hear their gossip.

"doesn't that hair stick look familiar?" one asks.

"isn't it the one doctor baizhu wears?" the other answers.

"the bubu pharmacy owner?!"

"shh! they'll hear you idiot!" you don't. and you forget all about your hair until you set up camp for the night just outside the stone gate. taking your hair out for sleep is when you finally see what baizhu had pinned your hair up with and suddenly the night air felt a bit stuffy instead of chilly.

[itsgaga]

I Just Need You

Request: Hey I love your writing! Would you be able to write about Nikki desperately trying to get you back after you two split like he's broken without her. Thanks doll

a/n: 75% of the requests I have gotten are about something with Nikki sooooooooooo...

The last few weeks have been rough—the endless crying and the thoughts that have been running through your mind. The memories that keep replaying that force you to feel the heartache, the calls that keep coming in of people asking you how you're doing. You don't know when it will stop; you don't know when the pain will go away. When will they stop calling you just to strictly ask you questions about it? You know that everyone who is checking on you just wants to make sure you're okay, but how can they not see that all they're doing is reminding you of what you're trying to forget? But the worst of it all is that Nikki himself won't leave you alone. 

It's been two weeks since your heart was shattered. Nikki was spotted and photographed holding a girl while he was away promoting the band's newest release. The picture was plastered on the cover of most magazine covers and was even talked about on TV. Nikki had called you almost immediately after the picture was released, giving you excuse after excuse. You had broken up with him, and it's been endless voicemails from him since then.

You're sitting on your couch watching a movie snuggled up under a blanket, trying your best to distract yourself from your feelings when your house phone begins to ring. You've grown used to hearing the ringing go off over and over again, and you've come to just ignore it.

"Leave a message after the beep," the phone announces, again for what feels like the millionth time.

"Hi Y/N," it was Nikki. "Listen, I've called over and over again, and you've made it obvious that you don't want to talk to me; there's nothing left for me to say at this point. Besides, I sincerely apologize; really, from the bottom of my heart, I am so sorry. Please, if you can find the time to, please just call me back. I love you, Y/N," the voicemail ended.

You couldn't believe what you had heard this time; the words truly were almost exactly the same as every other voicemail he's left you, but this time you heard his voice break, as if he were about to cry. 

Here it was again—the ache. You felt the tears begin to fill your eyes and something heavy form in your throat. Closing your eyes, you took deep breaths and let the sadness put you to sleep. 

Days have passed, and you were basically doing the same as you have been for the last two weeks, sitting on the couch, rotting away in your thoughts and sadness. There was a knock on the door; at first you tried to ignore it, but the knocks continued. You groan as you get up from your spot, annoyed. 

Opening the door, you find an unknown man. "Are you Y/N?" he asked, holding something in his hand. "Yep," you said, keeping it short. The man looks at you emotionless. "This is for you," he hands you a white envelope, and before another word could be spoken, he turned around and walked back to his blacked-out car sitting in the street in front of your house. You close the door and start to head back to your couch while flipping the envelope around and seeing your name written on the back of it. You recognize the handwriting.

Sighing, you sit back down and open the envelope.

"Dear Y/N,

We haven't talked since you've left me; if I'm being honest with you, I've been a complete wreck since then. I love you, baby, I really do. I love you more than you'll ever know, and I know this happening only shows you the opposite, but you just have to believe me. I don't know what to do without you. Just to show you how sorry I am and how much I love you, I am begging you to please turn on MTV around 6 tonight. I love you, Y/N.

Love, Nikki

You set the letter down and looked at the clock, 6:06. You grabbed your remote and quickly flipped through channels until MTV was on the screen; there you see Nikki sitting there looking into the camera. 

"Nikki, you were photographed with a woman who wasn't your girlfriend." The man sitting there across from Nikki says while looking down at him. Nikki interrupts the man,

"Listen, this is what I am going to say. I made probably the biggest mistake of my life. I like to put on this act where nothing is a big deal and I have no care in the world, well, because I'm a rockstar and that's what they do. But when I tell you, I just lost the love of my life over someone and something that was just so stupid and pointless, and I have been doing nothing but beating myself up over it the last two weeks." Nikki pauses; he looks down and looks back up straight into the camera.

"Y/N, I am so so sorry and I love you." Nikki's head drops back down; he looks sad and defeated. The interviewer clears his throat and looks at Nikki with sympathy. "Is that all you want to say to her?"

Nikki's head is now glued to the ground. "I don't know if you will ever forgive me; I don't really know how you could. I know I will never forgive myself for this, but I just need you."

"I just need you."

[shadowynn]

| in love and lore | eleven |

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem reader

genre: fantasy/daemon/soulmate au

warnings: some cursing, negative thoughts, a little bit of self-loathing, slightly possessive thoughts

wordcount: 10.7k

a/n: so, this chapter was an absolute joy to write, which might explain why and how i managed to get it out faster than normal. it has been a very long while since i've been able to write ilal so easily and with so much joy, so i hope you all enjoy this piece as much as i do. and for all you yunho biases out there, i hope this piece might do some justice for him. <33

| ten | eleven | twelve |

~~~

The stars were falling tonight. 

You had thought it was luck when you caught sight of the first one streaking across the sky a few hours after dinner, but a few minutes passed and your eyes had found another. They were difficult to make out amongst the canopies of the tents and lights flickering around the camp, but the night sky above was clear and you were just able to make out a few streaks of light flying across the sky.

After a day amongst people, you relished the time you had to yourself. It was impossible for you to be completely alone, but you found solace in your position at the back of your tent. Yunho was on watch duty for the first half of the night, but other than a quick question of concern when you had exited your tent an hour after retiring, he had left you be. He had disappeared into the sea of tents shortly after you requested some space, but you knew he was still a call away. If anything were to happen, he would be at your side in an instant. All you had to do was say the word. 

You considered calling him over to you now at your revelation of the night sky’s activities, but quickly decided against it, not wanting him to think something might have been wrong. It had happened often in the past weeks, any small beckon you made for any of them was met with instant concern. You hadn’t minded too terribly at first, overwhelmed by what had happened yourself, but it had quickly become stifling. No matter how many times you had insisted you were fine, they never seemed to hear you, making it impossible to go anywhere without one of them trailing behind you.

You understood their concern, at least, up to a point. No one had hidden the fact the culprits had gotten away that night, but who they might have been or why they had attacked, escaped your grasp. It was clear they knew something more than they let on, but any answers you were given had been allusive at best, if they weren’t dodged completely. They claimed they didn’t want to worry you, continually stating they had it under control, and though it frustrated you, you didn’t push too hard. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps it was better if you didn’t know the whole truth. You had long since learned living in ignorance was sometimes easier than knowing the truth, after all. And you had enough other things on your mind to worry about. 

But despite the threat of the attackers still being somewhere out there, you couldn’t stand being under constant supervision for too long. And it wasn’t until you had gotten caught sneaking out the back of your tent once that they finally relented. You still had a guard on you at all times, but they were no longer right on your back, breathing down your neck. 

Of all nights, you had thought it would be the one you would most want to be alone. And you did. You yearned for some time alone, away from the daemons that had invaded your life. For just a moment, you wished to get away. To forget everything that had happened and everything that was yet to come, but the stars were calling you. Each flash across the sky beckoning you to come and watch them. To allow them to ease your worries for just a moment. 

But to do that you would have to leave camp, and unless you wanted another wave of panic to erupt when they inexplicably found you gone, you would have to go accompanied. 

You weighed the decision in your head for a minute, trying to decide which would be a more welcome distraction from the thoughts that had been driving you mad. It didn’t take you long to come to your decision. You might have felt more comfortable on your own, but Yunho’s presence would just maybe distract you from the thoughts you had tried to bury for the night. 

So, you picked yourself up to your feet, stretching out the kinks in your muscles. Ideally, you would return back to your bed and sleep the rest of the night away, but you knew the chances of that happening were slim. Not when you were finally arriving at Taeyang tomorrow. 

After a month on the road, you had just started getting used to the flow of things. You had just started to grow comfortable with your new life among the daemons, but this way of life had only ever been temporary. As much as you wished you could be on the road forever, it wasn’t plausible. The day would finally come when it would end and you would be left with no choice but to deal with the reality of your new life. A life you had purposefully avoided thinking about to this day, but one that had haunted the back of your mind ever since Hongjoong had told you the truth. And now that it was here, you didn't know what to do.

You wrapped the blanket you carried with you closer around your body, shuffling in the direction Yunho had said he would be. While the days still held a hint of warmth to them, the nights had grown cold. Cold enough, your cloak was no longer warm enough to fight against the night air, forcing you to make due with whatever else you could find as you had foolishly left the majority of your winter clothes behind. 

True to his word, you found Yunho in the small clearing between the tents that housed him and the other generals. A fire had been started since you had last been over, illuminating him and what appeared to be a large dog at his feet. 

“Who’s this?”

Yunho jumped at your question, most likely not expecting you to make an appearance this late at night. His eyes softened as he took you in, before following your gaze towards the animal in front of him. Now that you were closer, you saw it wasn’t a dog like you had originally thought, but a wolf, black as the night sky above you. 

“This is Haru,” Yunho replied as the wolf stood to his feet, stretching out his legs as he went. His tail quickly began to wag as you bent down in front of him, showing no hesitation or aggressiveness towards you as he nudged your hands with his nose. “He’s one of many animal companions I can conjure up if needed.”

“Really?” Your head tilted, reaching out to oblige to Haru’s request and scratch him behind his ears. You were quick to recoil, however, taken back by the strange sensation his fur elicited. It was cold to the touch and not quite fully corporeal, causing a shiver to course through you. 

“Each beast has their own unique use, and I’m able to see and hear what they do from quite a distance if I need to.”

“That’s amazing.” You recovered quickly, finding the sensation of his fur against your fingers still strange, but not quite as unnerving now that you were expecting it. “What other animals can you create?”

“As long as it’s an animal that I’ve seen before, I can conjure up any beast using my blood and the surrounding shadows.” He reached out for Haru, running his hands through the fur at his back. “It might not be quite as useful as some of the others’ abilities, but it does have its benefits. Haru, for example, can track a scent for miles.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s pretty wonderful.” Haru leaned further into your touch, eliciting a giggle from you at the tickling sensation caused by him licking your face. “Definitely wonderful,” you repeated, gently coaxing Haru away from your face. You turned your gaze to Yunho, proffering him a soft smile in the hopes of reassuring him you thought his ability truly was as wonderful as you said. 

“Thank you.” Yunho returned your smile, causing you to quickly turn your gaze back to Haru. Something in his eyes had caught you off guard, causing your heart to flutter. “I’m glad you think so.” 

Silence settled between you, one which neither of you seemed keen on breaking. You wanted to, but you could feel his gaze lingering on your figure as you busied yourself with Haru, preventing your brain from coming up with anything worth saying. 

“Was there something you needed from me, angel?” Yunho asked after a few more seconds, jumpstarting your brain and reminding you why you had come to see him in the first place. 

“Oh, yes.” You nodded. Haru’s presence had distracted you, but it hadn’t deterred you from voicing your request. “I was wondering if I- if we could head outside the camp for just a little.” 

You were quick to correct your statement, already aware there was no chance at all that you would get to go out on your own. Despite being less than a day’s journey from their capital, everyone was still on edge. It made you begin to wonder if perhaps they were no longer only worried about the recent attackers, but the surrounding daemons as well. After all, it was common practice to kill your kind before Hongjoong was crowned, especially near the capital where the bloodlines were purist. 

“The stars are active tonight,” you added upon seeing his confusion, “and, well, I don’t believe I’ll be going to sleep anytime soon, so I was hoping we could maybe go out and get a better view.”

Yunho was silent in the moments that followed, making you more nervous with each passing second. Haru had nuzzled his head against your chest, and you buried your hands and attention into him to help break the anxiety you felt awaiting his answer. And though Haru added to the chilliness of the night, you let him wiggle his way into your arms, wrapping the blanket around the both of you. 

“Is that what you want?”

You nodded, relieved to hear him finally speak. “If you don’t think it’s safe though, I can observe them elsewhere. I just thought I might get a better view away from-“

“No, if you wish to go, I will gladly go with you.” This time he was quick to respond, taking no time to get to his feet before proffering a hand down to you. “Shall we?”

You didn’t respond, staring at his open hand. It wasn’t until now that you became aware of the unintended implications your request had with it. What had meant to be an innocent desire to see the stars a bit clearer, held the additional weight of being alone with him. A weight you hadn’t been aware of until you noticed the way he had reacted to it. All too eager to oblige to your request. 

It left you hesitating, unsure if it was something you were comfortable with yet. Of course you had been alone with some of them up to this point, and you were clearly alone with him now, but this situation felt different, far more personal than anything you had been through before. 

And yet, what was the alternative? To stay here on your own and inevitably worry over tomorrow’s events until the sun rose? To sit and stress over the uproar your presence was sure to bring when they realized just who their king’s mate was?

As much as going with Yunho terrified you, it also sent a shiver of excitement flowing through you. You could feel the warmth flooding your stomach at the thought of sharing the night with him, at being able to share your love for the stars above with him. 

You took Yunho’s hand, allowing him to pull you back to your feet. Haru let out a whine as you separated from him, nudging your side in an attempt to grab hold of your attention once more. 

“Haru, no.” Yunho was gentle as he called out the wolf’s attempt to get in between the two of you, yet the intention was clear and Haru backed away from you. “Stay.” Haru made it clear he didn’t enjoy the command, whining once more, but eventually settled back down on the ground next to the fire to obey it. 

“I’m sorry.” It took you a second to realize the apology was directed towards you. “Haru is for the most part, an extension of myself, so he…” The light was dim, your figure casting a shadow on his, but it wasn’t hard for you to decipher the almost bashful expression that had crossed his face. “He will bother you all night long if I were to let him join us, wanting to be as close to you as I’ll allow him to.”

“Oh.”

You could feel your own embarrassment creeping up at his confession, unsure just how to respond to it. But as embarrassed as his words made you feel, you thought you were beginning to understand. They had said the bond wasn’t quite as strong for you as it was for them, but even you felt its effect this close to him. If you struggled to keep yourself from burying yourself into his side for warmth, what was it like for him? And if it was stronger like they claimed, how the hell was he resisting it?

“It’s for the best if he stays anyways, especially if someone were to wake and notice our absence before we return. We’ll be too far to communicate with anyone other than Hongjoong, and San will be taking over my watch within the next hour or so.” 

“Is it fine if we go, then? I don’t want to cause any more trouble.”

“Trust me, angel, your request is no trouble at all. Haru will let me know if anyone is searching for either of us and lead them our way if needed,” Yunho replied, brushing past your worries. “And if it’s your own safety that concerns you, I give you my word that no harm shall come to you tonight. If my word still means anything to you, that is.”

“It does.” Despite doing your best to reassure each of them that night had been your own fault, they still blamed themselves for what had happened. And though talk of that night had become sparse, you could see the blame they still laid upon themselves in moments like these. “And my safety was never a concern of mine. I trust you, Yunho. I guess-“

You didn’t understand the impact your words held until you saw the way he reacted. The hand that was still clasped firmly against yours tightening its grip as his body tensed. His eyes widened ever so slightly as your words caught him off guard. 

“I guess,” you repeated, trying not to think too deeply about what you had just said or the implications it might have had, “I guess I’m just worried I would be inconveniencing you and I don’t want to cause any more problems than I already have. If it’s better for me to stay-“

“Angel,” Yunho’s eyes softened, bringing up his free hand to cup the side of your face, “nothing you could ever ask of me would ever be an inconvenience. You are not an inconvenience.”

Your eyes shifted to the ground, pulling away from his touch. Despite the genuinity in his eyes, you didn’t believe him. You couldn’t believe him. Not when you had only ever been told the opposite. Not when you were more than aware your mere existence had always been an inconvenience to those around you and would continue to do so. After all, how much easier would it have been for all of you if you had just been fully human? No one would have a problem with you then, would they?

“It doesn’t feel like it.” 

You felt slightly guilty once the words left, not meaning to voice your frustration towards him. If anything, he and the others were the first ones in a long time that had treated you like you mattered. That they wanted you to be around. 

But that didn’t mean you didn’t still feel like an inconvenience around them, though this was no fault of their own. It simply came down to the fact they had been stuck with a mutt for a mate. 

“y/n.” Yunho’s voice was gentle as he called you back to him, taking no offense to your earlier statement. “You are worth it-“ You shook your head, opening your mouth to rebuke his statement, but he didn’t allow you a moment to speak. “And I know you might not believe it now despite how many times I may try to tell you, but I hope that someday you might.” 

He tugged you against him then, pulling you into a tight embrace. Your eyes widened at the sudden move, body stiff as you were pressed flush against him. You struggled to react, still attempting to process what he had said to you right beforehand. The combination was almost too much, the situation threatening to overwhelm you, and yet… you could feel the panic easing out of you as the surprise faded away. Your head had fallen against his chest and you could hear his heart beating, the steady rhythm it thrummed helping to control the panic that had risen up. 

“In the meantime, please try and extend some of the grace and kindness you show those around you to yourself.”

His body was warm, making it impossible for you to keep from moving in closer, burying yourself fully into his arms. “It’s hard.”

“I know.” His reply was soft, words mumbled against the top of your head. “But you can talk to me. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

You knew the wisest action to make would be to pull away, but was that what you wanted? His touch was comforting, helping to ease the anxiety coursing through you. It was a welcome relief from the past hour you had spent by yourself, trying your hardest to avoid the fears that crept up in the corners of your mind. Would it be so terrible if you were to give in just this once? If you opened up just a little and allowed him to carry your burdens with you for just a moment?

You felt the words bubbling up at the back of your throat, begging you to open up and confess them to the man before you if you only found the courage. 

“Yunho, I’m scared.” You hadn’t realized how heavy the words were until they were out, immediately lightening the load on your shoulders. “I’ve stepped foot into hundreds of war zones, snuck my way around them knowing exactly what might await me if I were to get caught by the wrong person, but none of it compares to the fear that has been building up with each step we take towards your world.” Now that it was finally out, the rest of the words flowed with ease. “I’ve barely come to terms with the fact I’m your mate here within the safety of this camp and around those whom my identity as the Black Angel might have earned me an inkling of respect. So, how the hell am I supposed to come to terms with any of this amongst those who will be more vocal in their distaste for it?” 

And there would be those against it. There was no doubt about that. Even if you weren’t their mate, and had simply been brought back because of your ability to heal, you would come to deal with the same prejudice and hatred you had faced back home amongst the humans. But this time, you weren’t just some random half-daemon who could save a person from death, you were Hongjoong’s mate, and by proxy, his guardsmen as well. If they didn’t want you in their city, they most definitely didn’t want you as their queen. 

And you couldn’t even blame them. Not when you didn’t want to be queen either. 

“I’m sorry, angel.” Yunho’s arms tightened, attempting to bring you in closer than you were already. “I know how terrifying it can be to leave your home and arrive at court in Taeyang, but that doesn’t mean I have any idea what it must be like for someone like you. Nor will I ever.” He was gentle as he slowly loosened his hold on you, pulling away just far enough so that he could look you in the face. “I do not know exactly how things will go when we arrive tomorrow nor how some will react, but you won’t have to go through any of it on your own. We’ll be by your side each step of the way.” 

“What’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” Yunho’s brow furrowed, taken back by the sudden change in conversation. “Taeyang?”

You nodded. Though you had caught snippets of the daemon’s capital from them over your time on the road, the majority of the city and its inhabitants were a mystery to you. And though Yunho’s confession had prompted the question from you, you would have been lying if you had said you hadn’t just asked if as a way to direct the conversation away from yourself.

“I would assume it’s quite different from any city you’re used to.” He let you go for just a moment, hands lowering to take hold of your hand and begin guiding you towards the southern edge of the camp. “Though I’m sure you’ve already been able to gather that much from the few cities we’ve passed through this past week.”

He was right. Though you had done your best to keep your head down in the cities and villages you passed by, all it took was one passing glance to take note of the difference. The design of the buildings was vastly different from any town you had been to before, alongside the structure of the town itself. You were used to hard lines and stone, buildings compact against each other between streets of dirt and mud. But here, everything was more open, buildings sprawled out amongst the terrain, incorporating the nature around them into their design. And a large majority of buildings featured areas, though covered by the sloping roofs above, left completely open to the warmer air of the south. 

“To me, it’s most beautiful in the autumn during the Festival of Memories when the Dal is set ablaze by the lanterns sent out along it.” The hint of a smile appeared on Yunho’s lips. “Then there’s the way the city comes back to life in the spring when the plum blossom trees bloom. You should see the royal gardens at that time, especially at night when the fireflies come out.”

“It sounds beautiful.” You could only imagine the scene in your head, having only ever caught glimpses of the gardens in Maehwa when your services had been requested by the council. “Do you miss it?”

Yunho was silent for a moment, mulling over your question as he led you past the edge of camp and off into the nearby field. “Parts of it, perhaps. There’s a familiarity about the city that is comforting after all this time. It is my home, after all, but I do not miss the politics of deception that fills the halls there. There are many who will do or say anything if they believe it might benefit them in some way.”

You understood what he meant. Though Maehwa had never treated you well, it had been your home and a part of you longed to return. It may have not been the greatest of lives, but you had been happy at times. Life was constant. There were no surprises. No unexpected events that would change the entire course of your life. You were normal, or at least as normal as you could be as a half-daemon, able to carry on with your life with little issue with your siblings by your side.

“Do they know?” You were conscious of the way Yunho hadn’t let go of your hand during this time, but you didn’t dare attempt to slip it away. Not with the way it helped to keep you grounded, a physical reminder that you were not alone at the moment. “About me? About my relationship to all of you?”

Yunho nodded, but you weren’t sure exactly how the revelation made you feel. “The majority of the court learned about you when Hoseok, Hongoog’s father, did. He… he saw your relation to his son as a reflection of weakness upon him, so he wasted no breath shaming Hongjoong on the matter.”

His words made you feel like you had just been dumped into a bath of ice, body freezing as the weight of them hit you. You had always known how ridiculous it was for someone like you to be his mate. When they had told you, it had felt like some attempt at a cruel joke, made worse by learning it was indeed true. To know the only reason any of them had shown an ounce of kindness or expressed attention towards you was because of some supernatural bond that tied you all together. Even now, it still hurt, fully aware Yunho wouldn’t even be out here comforting you without you. 

And yet, you had never stopped to consider how it all might have felt from their view. From Hongjoong’s view. How had he felt when he first learned about you? How had he felt when he had first learned the person he had been waiting for was a half-daemon? Had he been upset? Had he felt shame? Had he wished things might have been different? That you had been different?

He must have. It was only natural for him to wish fate would have delivered him a better hand. It was only natural for him to wish it had been someone other than you. Someone better than you. 

And yet, he had saved your life, going so far to risk his own for yours. When he should have ignored the bond and listened to the other daemons and allowed his father to kill you, he hadn’t. 

Why? Why hadn’t he? Why hadn’t any of them? 

“Many of them believed you to be dead alongside your father in the years that followed.” Yunho continued, sensing the way your body had tended beside him. “And it wasn’t until after Hongjoong was crowned that they discovered what had truly happened and that you were still alive. As you can imagine, it created quite the uproar on many accounts. Nothing like this had ever happened before.”

Was it simply because of how difficult it was to reject a mate? They had told you how impossible it was to fight against the bond. How it was stronger than either of you could fight against and strong enough to drive you insane if you attempted to reject or ignore it. In the end, it didn’t matter how ridiculous it all sounded. It didn’t matter if they were against it. There was simply no way to fight against it. A fact you were quickly coming to learn for yourself. 

But would they have dealt with the repercussions if none of them had ever met you? Would it have been impossible for them to reject you if you had died so long ago? 

“Would it not have been easier to just let me die?” You pulled Yunho to a stop, terrified to hear the confirmation you knew awaited you at the other end, but desperate for it all the same. You needed to know. “Perhaps if Hongjoong had never met me. If none of you had ever met me, then-“

“He would have spent an eternity with a part of him missing, just as we all would have when the bond between us fully snapped into place. Even if we had never fully known you, we would have spent the rest of our lives mourning you.” His reply was soft as he brushed aside the hair the wind tossed into your face, expression terribly gentle “As impossible as it all may seem, none of us regret the choices we made to get to this moment here. To get to you. How could we?” He raised a hand against your cheek, thumb tracing along the bone. “You have no idea just what you do to us, do you? What you do to me?” He moved the hand he held towards his chest, laying your palm against the area above his heart. “Can you feel that, angel? Can you feel how it beats for you and only you now?”

You could feel the heat pooling inside you, locked into place from the intensity he took you in. The raw emotion in his voice made your breath hitch, heart thudding in your chest. You didn’t believe him. You couldn’t believe him, but one look at him left you trembling as your chest ached for you to just let him in. To let yourself be loved.

“Never before have I so fully been enraptured by another. Your presence captivates my entire being and not a second goes by that I do not think of you and what I wish might become between us. Of everything I would do for you to finally make you see yourself the way I see you.”

“Yunho…” Your voice quivered, breathless from his confession. You didn’t know what to say, let alone what to think. All you could focus on was the way he peered down at you so lovingly, as though he fully believed each and every word he spoke to you. 

Whether it was on purpose or not, you could feel the wave of emotions that flooded through him into you. You could feel the desire he spoke towards you filling him, of how much he yearned for you to return the same sentiment towards him. And when his thumb brushed against your lower lip, it was impossible to tell whether you simply felt his desire to kiss you burning through you or whether it was your own natural inclination building up. 

“We chose you, angel. We have accepted you just as you are.” Yunho leaned closer, slowly closing the distance between the two of you. “Won’t you now please accept us? Just give us a chance?”

He gave you no time to respond - not that you would have been able to if he had, his words fully rendering you speechless - closing the gap completely and pressing his lips against your own. They were hesitant at first, just barely brushing against you as though testing to see just how you would respond to it. Only once you hadn’t pulled away did he finally deepen it, using his grip on your face to tug you closer to him. 

You were frozen in place. A thousand different thoughts were running through your head, but you couldn’t quite grasp at any of them. It was impossible to differentiate them from his own desire that overflowed into you still, looking at the base of your stomach. The only thought you could properly take hold of was how soft his lips were against your own and how very warm they were. 

Your body responded before your mind did, fingers tightening their grip on his shirt in an effort to pull yourself in closer. The action left him gasping, and a wave of pure joy ran over into you from the excitement he felt at you returning the kiss with a similar fervor. 

It was over just as quickly as it had started. Yunho was the first to pull away, breathless as his forehead came to rest upon your own. You remained silent in the seconds that followed, eyes still shut as your mind replayed the moment in your head, holding on to the high the act had created for as long as you could before reality came crashing back down on you. 

You could feel his fingers trailing across your face, taking you in as much as he could for the brief moment he had you with your guard down. And when your eyes finally fluttered open, you were caught off guard by the face that met you; the pure adoration that lined his features convincing you for just a moment that everything he had said was true. That you were worth it. 

Your face turned away as the situation finally processed in your mind, cheeks tinting pink as you realized what you had just done. You felt no regret for allowing him to kiss you or for the way you had returned it, but the yearning you felt to give in and close the distance between you once more did scare you. The desire you felt for the man standing before you was completely foreign and you struggled to process it. Never before had you ever wanted something, wanted someone, as much as you wanted him now. 

“I’m sorry,” Yunho’s voice was strained as he broke the silence, “should I not have?”

You shook your head. “No, it’s…” It was a struggle to speak, unsure of just what to say. Your head was still spinning, thoughts flying as you tried to straighten it all out in your head and just how you felt about all it. “It was nice. It’s just… I just…” You stumbled over your words, face growing hotter with each passing second. You struggled enough as it was with communicating your emotions and having to do so now over something you had very little experience with felt nearly impossible. “I’ve never-“

You cut yourself off, unable to stop the wave of embarrassment that ran through you at the thought of revealing your lack of experience. Of revealing that you had never before shared this sort of experience with anyone before. Of how you had never kissed anyone before. Of how you had never felt this way before and how terribly overwhelming it all was. 

Instead of attempting to finish your thoughts, you tucked your head against his chest in the hope of hiding your reddening face. He didn’t try to push you further and was silent alongside you as his fingers brushed through your hair. 

“Shall we go and observe the stars now, love?” Yunho was the first to speak, pulling your face back out to meet him.

You nodded, having completely forgotten why you had come to him in the first place. Despite the overwhelming nature of everything that had occurred between the two of you, it had worked as the distraction you had hoped for. You had long since forgotten why you had wanted out in the first place and the stress that had plagued your mind earlier in the night had been replaced with a different anxiety altogether. 

You allowed him to guide you further into the night, away from the lights of the camp behind you. As you went, you resituated the blanket along your shoulders, feeling much colder than before now that you weren’t pressed up next to Yunho. You hoped it would help with the heat still pooling inside you and prayed it would ease the redness of your cheeks.

It was just a kiss. It may have been your first kiss, but it was still just a kiss and nothing to get so worked up about, but one glance in his direction was all it took for your face to flame again. Your thoughts kept trailing back to the feeling of his lips on your, alongside the way he had looked at you so lovingly. The way he had so unabashedly confessed his feelings to you making your stomach flip. 

“Is this far enough?” 

You nodded, any and all feelings you might have pushed aside in the silence fully returning once Yunho turned back to you. A hint of a smile danced across his face, and you were once again struck by just how beautiful he was. You had always known it, but the kiss had given rise to a whole new wave of emotions flooding through you. It made you wonder if you had fallen asleep without ever realizing, and the events that had transpired between you nothing more than a dream. Seeing him bathed in starlight, the near epitome of perfection, left you feeling small beside him. How could someone like you have ever caught the eye of someone like him?

You tumbled to the ground, wondering why you had ever thought this would be a good idea. When you had asked for a distraction, this wasn’t what you had meant. You hadn’t wanted to spend the night wrestling over your feelings for a man you knew was way too good for you despite everything he said. 

The night sky offered little comfort. Everything was cleared out here away from the lights, but you struggled to piece the stars together. Everything was different here, the stars shifting far more than anything you had seen in your travels before, reminding you just how far from home you truly were. 

“Minnie, Woo, and I used to sneak out all the time when we were younger to observe the stars. My mother had taught Soomin the constellations before she passed, who in turn taught them to us before she outgrew the act of sneaking outside Maehwa’s walls.” Your voice was soft as you spoke, finding a bit of your panic fading away as you slowly found your way amongst the twinkling lights above. “Soomin says she loved the stars, so much so that she named each of us after them. And though I never knew her, I feel as though I can see a sliver of her in them.”

And tonight, the stars seemed to echo your sentiment. The stories said that falling stars were tokens of good luck and fortune sent by those who had long since passed from this world. And though you had never given much merit into the thought, it gave you some form of comfort tonight. Who else could have sent them besides your mother who had loved them so dearly in her life? As though to tell you, I see you. I hear you. I am with you always. 

You shivered, wishing more than ever that you had had a chance to know her. What had she been like? What about her had drawn the attention of someone like your father? Hadn’t he also been a member of the former Black Guard? Hadn’t he also been forbade from any sort of relation like the one he had with her? Had she ever felt the same way you did now? As though she wasn’t worth the love he gave her? As though she wasn’t worth the risk despite how happy she might have been?

It hurt to think about, chest aching as you wished more than ever before that things had been different. You wished you could have known them, seen who they truly were for yourself and not from snippets you heard from others. You wished it could have been your mother sitting by your side tonight, giving you guidance at a moment you felt completely lost. 

“Soomin is a summer child, so you aren’t able to see her constellation this time of the year. The stories claim it is because the serpent goddess disappears into the southern seas each winter, hibernating through the colder weather to return in full strength in the spring.” You didn’t know what possessed you to explain the origins of your namesakes, but it was comforting to think about and a welcome distraction from everything else. “It’s why they say it always rained so much at that time, as she brings the sea with her to nourish the earth for the new year.”

“Hyunwoo and I were born in the dead of winter, however, so you should be able to see them at this time. In fact, Hyunwoo’s should be somewhere…” Your eyes followed the trail of stars, piecing together the patterns until you found the collection you had been searching for. “There!” You did your best to guide Yunho’s gaze towards them, subconsciously leaning over to better line up his sight. “His namesake was said to be a great and mighty archer whose ability caught the attention of the Gunungsins. They challenged him to a competition, promising him a spot amongst their rank if he were to succeed. He did, of course, and now he roams the skies above keeping watch over those down below.”

“And then-“ Your words cut off when you caught sight of him in the corner of your eye. He was looking at you again, the hint of a smile dancing across his face. “I’m sorry.” The blush you had finally gotten under control came rushing back. You had been rambling, boring him with information he hadn’t asked for, nor did he care to hear about. “You probably didn’t care to hear about all that.”

“No, please continue. I’m most interested in what you have to say, especially on your own.” He nudged your shoulder, gently encouraging you to continue on. “And I apologize if my distraction made you think otherwise. It’s just… you’re very beautiful, you know? Especially when you are talking about the things you're passionate about.”

God damn it, Yunho.

“I’m sorry, truly.” Yunho replied, clearly hearing you curse him in your head. It hadn’t upset him though, and he struggled to control his laughter at the outburst, making you wonder if his apology was sincere or not. 

Your cheeks were definitely red again, however. Any and every feeling you had managed to suffocate over the past few minutes returning once more. 

Was he doing it on purpose? Enjoying the way you squirmed under his gaze and hoping perhaps if he prodded enough, you would do something about the growing desire you had to kiss him that had been pooling in your stomach ever since the first. 

“Please, continue,” he added in your silence, leaning closer towards you as he finally turned his gaze back towards the sky. “Which one is yours?”

“It’s the cluster just to the south of Hyunwoo’s, just above the horizon.” It took a second for you to steady your voice, aware of Yunho’s side now brushing against your own as he followed your guide. “She was said to be a maiden whose lover had become deathly ill. The only cure was in the flowers that grew at the peak of a nearby mountain, and though he had begged her not to go as the path was long and treacherous, she persevered and obtained that which she sought.” It had been a while since you had last thought of the story, and it felt strange telling it to Yunho now. Despite being a tale told through the ages, it felt oddly personal telling it to him now. “When she arrived home, however, she learned her lover had succumbed to the disease in her absence. She mourned for days, unable to live without him and ready to take her own life. The moon, however, who had watched the tragedy unfold, was moved by the woman’s selfless love and offered the woman passage to her immortal domain in the stars where she was reunited with her lover. Now they forever roam the skies together, given the happy life they had been stolen here.”

“Your mother named you well.”

“Soomin thinks so as well. She used to curse our mother for naming me after the maiden, claiming it had caused me to take the story too seriously and share her lack of concern for her own life. And I don’t know,” you shrugged, remembering all the times Soomin had cursed you in the past, “maybe she’s right. Maybe I have been cursed by my namesake, but she persevered to the end, did she not? Perhaps I will too.”

“y/n?”

You hummed in response, wondering what it was that had prompted him to call you out by name.

“May I kiss you once more?”

This made you stop, and you could feel the wave of heat flooding through you at the request. You didn’t dare look over at him, doing your best to not show just how much his sudden question had caught you off guard. 

“You wish to kiss me?”

“Very much so.” The pressure at your side grew as he leaned in closer next to you, fingers brushing the hair that blocked your face back behind your ear. “If you’d let me, that is.”

Your fingers dug into the fabric of the blanket you held, trying to process his request in your head and just what it was you wanted. Deep down, you already knew what it was. You wanted him to kiss you because you wanted to kiss him. 

So, then why did the thought of it scare you so much? 

You wanted it. There was no doubt about it, but the thought of acting out on your emotions terrified you, and you couldn’t quite pin your finger as to why. Was it the unknown that scared you? Simply self-conscious of your lack of experience. Or was it the underlying fear that they would change their minds that strayed at the back of your mind? That despite their reassurances, eventually they would realize what you knew all along and move on. And the only way to keep yourself safe was to keep your distance. 

You made the mistake of turning your head. One look at the man beside you and you could feel yourself caving; your want for him outweighing any fear you might have had. 

Fuck it.

You didn’t have to verbalize your consent, the way your head tilted towards his own telling him everything he needed to know. He wasted no time, pulling your chin up towards him and capturing your lips against his own once more. 

He continued to periodically kiss you throughout the next few hours you remained awake. At his behest, you pointed out more stars and constellations, telling him their stories as best you remembered. He would interrupt you every so often to kiss you once more, seemingly at random. You would be in the middle of a story or pointing out a new constellation and he would cut you off with his lips, making you lose your train of thought each and every time. 

At some point, the blanket you had was extended towards him, and he was quick to bring your body in next to him. A part of you was still conscious of the closeness, of the vulnerability you were showing him. Would it not be best if you pulled back? The less involved you got with them, the less it would hurt when it all came crashing down. And it would, would it not? You would arrive in Taeyang tomorrow and they would finally come to their senses and realize you didn’t belong in this world. In their world. 

But for now, it was nice. Perhaps the nicest night you had had in a very long time. For once in your life, you were able to forget your worries and just relax. Thoughts of tomorrow had been pushed to the back of your head, overtaken by the man next to you and how warm he was. How terribly sweet he was. 

So, for once in your life, you let yourself enjoy the moment for what it was. You let yourself relax into Yunho’s side, allowing yourself to open up just a little bit, because perhaps he was right. Perhaps things would all work out. All you had to do was let them. All you had to do was accept them. 

~~~

Is it almost time to switch?

San didn’t so much as open his eyes as he lazily reached out to Yunho, hoping the other daemon would tell him he still had a little time left to sleep. He hated pulling the second shift of your guard. While Yunho might have gotten an hour or two of your time before you went to sleep due to your insomnia, he wouldn’t get to see you until you woke up in the morning. And by then, everyone else would also be awake and vying for your attention. 

Yunho?

It was only in the second bout of silence that he realized Yunho wasn’t just ignoring him. He couldn’t feel the taller daemon’s presence on the other side of the bond at all. Yunho was nowhere in his current vicinity at the moment, cutting off communication between them. 

This had San waking quickly, reaching out just a bit farther along the bond that tied him to you only to be with silence once more. Neither of you were anywhere nearby. 

While he was concerned, he didn’t allow the panic hovering at the back of his head to take hold of him just yet. San knew how nervous you had been, he could feel the anxiety growing within you each day you drew closer to Taryang, so he didn’t doubt you must have simply wandered off somewhere in the hopes of easing it. And with Yunho being gone as well, he could only assume the two of you must have gone out somewhere together. 

He was met by a pair of black eyes as he exited the tent, finding one of Yunho’s shadow beasts lying near the fire Yunho had sat near at the beginning of his watch. Haru’s head lifted at his approach, observing him with mild curiosity. 

“Where are they, buddy?” San bent down next to the beast, scratching the back of his head. If Yunho had left him here, then he knew the two of you must have been somewhere safe and there was no reason to wake any of the others. “Can you take me to them?”

Haru stood up at the request, stretching his front legs and shaking out his fur before setting off towards the south of camp. San was quick to follow, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to straighten it as he yawned. He wasn’t sure what time it was. The candle set out to signal the end of the first watch had long gone out, signifying Yunho’s watch had ended some time ago. Wherever the two of you had gone, he must have lost track of time, causing San to curse under his breath. Normally, he wouldn’t have minded if Yunho took over part of his watch, enjoying the extra sleep, but not when it was because he had gotten distracted by you. If only the watches had been switched, then it could have been him out there with you right now instead. 

You hadn’t strayed too far from camp. Once Haru had left the tents behind, he could feel hints of your presence along the bond once more. To his surprise, your emotions had shifted significantly since he had seen you last. The anxiety that had riddled your body had almost completely disappeared, leaving you far more relaxed than he had ever felt you before.

This had him curious, wondering what might have conspired between the two of you to put you in such a state. For one brief second, the impossible crossed his mind. Yunho hadn’t mated with you, had he? But he shook the thought away before he could ponder it long enough to feel the outcome of that scenario. It was impossible, at least now. You hardly let them touch you at this current time, growing flustered and escaping away the moment things became too heated for you. There was no way you would give in and bare yourself completely to Yunho at this time. 

He didn’t have to wonder for long, eventually finding you curled up against Yunho on the ground in the nearby field. The two of you were bundled up beneath a blanket and your head rested against his chest as you slept. It was the most peaceful he had ever seen you, for once completely at ease with one of them. It didn’t completely erase the jealousy that was brimming in his chest as he took you in, but it did alleviate some of it. How could he be upset seeing you like that? Knowing that whatever Yunho had done or said had eased your mind enough to help you sleep before the day you had tomorrow? 

Yunho’s eyes were also closed, but San knew he was awake before he brushed against his subconscious. Despite how comfortable the other daemon might have been next to you, he would have never drifted off. Not when your safety was at risk in an environment like this.

I see now why you didn’t wake me.

It was hard for San to keep his tone from sounding too bitter, wishing once again that it could have been him instead. Though you had loosened up around each of them in your journey, he had yet to get as close to you as some of the others. And not nearly as close as he had been that night in Maehwa so long ago. 

He still remembered the moment he had first seen you that night. He had thought you were beautiful the moment he first saw you, but the feelings that had arisen seeing you dressed like that had been something else altogether. You had looked so radiant, so regal, that night, and it was at that moment he knew without a doubt that he would lay down his life for you. Spend the rest of his waking moment serving you in any way you desired. He would do anything for you, his queen, and bathe the world in the blood of anyone who stood in your way. 

“She fell asleep,” Yunho couldn’t hide the smile Sam’s words pulled as he replied, shifting slightly in the means of pulling you closer to him, “and I didn’t see the harm in straying here for just a bit. I don’t want to wake her after she finally got to sleep. She needs all the rest she can get for tomorrow.”

San couldn’t blame Yunho, both of them aware the moment between the two of you would end the moment he took you back to camp. And if he had been in Yunho’s position, he would have held you as long as he could. He would spend the entire night under the stars with you if he could. Whatever it was that you desired. 

“She kissed me, San.” Yunho’s following words made San stop, and he had to replay them over in his head before the implication of them hit. “Well, technically, I kissed her, but she let me. She kissed me back. And then she allowed me to kiss her again when I asked.” He paused, shifting to his side as gently as he could to better take in your sleeping figure next to him. “Don’t worry though,” he was quick to add, eyes glancing over at San as if he knew just what thoughts had popped up in his mind, “I think it will be a while again until she allows me to do it again. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have done it. She was vulnerable, desperate for any form of distraction from the days she has in front of her, but I couldn’t control myself. Not with the way she was looking up at me, and certainly not with the thoughts running through her head.”

And what thoughts would those be? San spoke to Yunho directly when you stirred in your sleep. As much as he did want to spend time with you, he couldn’t stand to wake you either. Not after you had finally gotten to sleep. 

She thinks we should have just let her die. 

San was thankful he had taken the time to sit down on your other side, Yunho’s confession shaking him to his core. 

That everything would have been easier if none of us had ever met her.

San was well used to your attempts at rejecting them. You had made it clear that you didn’t believe you were deserving of any of them, believing your status as a half-daemon made you lesser than them in some way. He knew the insecurities you held towards yourself, fueled by all the lies you had been told by the people before them. Their treatment towards you had cut you deep, and though killing them had alleviated some of his anger on the matter, it did nothing to heal the scars that remained. And to now hear their lies had led you to believe it would have been better if you had died alongside your parents, refueled his hatred towards them fully. He wished more than anything he could go back in time, realizing whatever death he had given them then was far too merciless. They deserved to suffer for what they had done to you. 

But the rage Yunho’s revelation brought only lasted so long, dissipating the second his mind thought of the inevitable. What would have happened if Hongjoong and Yeosang hadn’t gotten to you in time? If Hoseok had succeeded in his attempt to kill you alongside your parents? 

He could only stray on your death for so long before it became too much. The sheer panic he had felt when you had been attacked was something that still haunted him to this day. For days he had been unable to keep you from his sight, putting up as many barriers as he could manage to ensure nothing else happened to you, even going so far as to sketch the runes beneath your saddle to ensure no one but them could approach you when you were on the road. The last thing he wanted to think about was a life without you in it, let alone a life in which you never were. 

It made him wonder just where he was going wrong? Had their actions not shown you how much they cared? Had they not shown you just how much you meant to them? Had they not been enough to convince you that they would do anything to keep you safe? To keep you happy? 

He would have been lying if he said he hadn’t cursed your humanity before. Not for the reason you would have expected him to; he couldn’t care less about your blood status. He didn’t care if you were considered pure or not; it didn’t change who you were as a person, let alone how he saw you. But he did hate how your human heritage did limit the effects of the bonds that tied you to them. It had only been around two months since you had entered his life and he was already beginning to go insane. Every fiber of his being was drawn towards you, desperate to finally claim you as his own. It was driving him crazy. You were driving him crazy. Each second he spent next to you only fueled his hunger for you. A hunger you very well would have felt just as strongly if you had more maetha flowing through your veins. 

He may have promised alongside the others to wait as long as you needed, but he knew he hadn’t been the only one who had lied to you at that moment. He wouldn’t be able to wait that long. It would be impossible for him to wait another lifetime to finally have you. He knew it. The others knew it. But it didn’t really matter. In the end, the lie was meaningless. Even with your humanity, not even you could fully withstand the bond that mates shared. Already, you were cracking. A fact shown in your current position curled up to Yunho beside you. 

Does she realize that would have changed nothing? That it would have simply resulted is us feeling as though a part of us would have been missing for the rest of our lives? 

I told her as much. 

And? 

And… then I kissed her. Yunho paused, weighing the situation in his head. I guess a part of me hoped to convey just how much she means to us and that we mean each and every word we say. …At least that was the original intention, but then… The way she looked at me, San, I couldn’t control myself anymore. 

San was silent as he took in Yunho’s confession. As much as he wanted to be jealous, he knew Yunho wasn’t telling him all this to simply rub in the fact he got to kiss you first. Some of the others might have, including himself, but that wasn’t something Yunho would do. He was simply trying to piece the situation together himself, working through the wave of emotions flooding through him. 

Did you know she was named after the stars? Yunho shifted, eyes wandering the sky above. That’s why she stays out so late at night. It’s the one place she feels truly at home. 

Do you think she’ll ever feel that way with us? 

I hope so. Yunho sighed. You should have seen her, San. The passion that filled her. The way her eyes would light up. I like to think a part of her enjoyment was getting to share a part of herself with me. Of having someone to share it with. 

A wave of images flooded San’s mind as Yunho shared his thoughts with him. He could hear the hushed excitement in your voice as you spoke about some particular collection of stars, and see the way your eyes lit up just before turning away shyly when Yunho gently encouraged you to continue. To think Yunho had managed some control over kissing you was a shock to San. If it had been him, he would have kissed you under the stars until your lips were bruised and you were desperate for air. 

As much as I wish to stay here, we should probably head back. Yunho’s fingers ran through your hair, taking in what little time he had left with you. Dawn will be arriving soon and I don’t doubt she’ll be more comfortable waking up in her own bed rather than here. She has enough to worry about tomorrow. 

I’ll get her. San was quick to offer, eager to have you in his arms again, even if it was just for a few moments. 

Yunho offered no resistance, allowing San to wrap his arms around your sleeping figure and gently pick you up. You stirred once more from the movement, but did little more than curl in closer to him once he had you secured. San’s heart fluttered at the action, unable to resist planting a chaste kiss against the top of your head as his grip on you tightened. 

It was hard to let you go once they had made it back, and even harder to lay you down in your own bed, knowing he couldn’t stay there with you. All he wanted was to take you back with him, curling up next to your body which would slot in so perfectly next to his own. 

Nothing would happen if you weren’t ready. He’d be perfecting content with just having you next to him for now. But if you would just give him a chance, oh, the wonders he could show you. The things he could do to convince you he wanted nothing more than to have you by his side for the rest of your lives. The way he would worship your body and sing your praises all but forcing you to believe just how much you truly meant to him. 

But today was not that day. And he didn’t doubt it wouldn’t be any day in the near future either. For now, you were still stuck behind the walls you had built around yourself, an invisible barrier he had yet to find his way through. For now, he would have to be content with your mere presence, knowing that one of these days you might finally allow him to come inside. He just had to be patient, because one day he would succeed. One of these days he would finally get to fully savor you in the way he had craved ever since he had first set eyes on you. 

And he couldn’t wait. 

~~~

taglists are in the reblogs :)

[erinwantstowrite]

Erin I have a question ⁉️

How did you start writing LoF? Like,.not writing it in general, I mean like how did you get—or learned—or studied—all the information regarding the Batfam and their backgrounds, and also about Peter and the Avengers, etc.

Currently, I'm honestly planning on writing a small fiction about Peter ending up in Gotham (You must know your words hold a very dangerous power to inspire) but unfortunately, I don't have the right information to actually START writing it TT_TT. Do you have any tips on how I can start?

(P.S Apologies if this sounds a little confusing, I am not entirely the best at explaining 😞🤞)

There's one person to blame for getting me into DC, and it's @alighterwood

I've always been a fan of Spider-Man. He was my first hero, I wanted to be him soooo bad. I had gotten around to sort of writing my own fic for it with my own version of Peter around last year? (Very much inspired by ITSV, LoF Peter came about because he's his own universe and is based on Spider-Man lore from multiple media versions). I had never thought about writing a Spider-Man fic until ATSV, but at the time I was pretty much dead set on rewriting VLD. I got inspired after rewatching ITSV and then watching ATSV.

But it wasn't until alighterwood got me reading their favorite Batfam fics (specifically Tim) that I started to enjoy Batfam or DC in general.

(My favorite Batfam fic is "The Lone Ranger Never Had to Deal with Bruce Wayne" )

From there I started branching out into learning more about Batfam, what is and isn't fanon, and forming my own opinions. It was a natural progression into "I want my favorite characters to meet each other" and alighterwood's evil genius plan ended up working.

I've read a few comics (mostly the Red Robin series, because Tim was my intro to Batfam so I figured I'd start there) but most of my information?

Wikis, reddits, forums from years (a few of them from decades) ago, my father (who was a Batman fan as a kid) and his friends (my uncles, who were all DC and Marvel nerds), my own friends- basically anything I can get my hands on. If I had a question, it was (probably) answered somewhere, or there was someone else with the same question that made me feel better for not getting it. The internet has a BOATLOAD of information about both Marvel and DC.

It's a LOT of research and note taking, to be honest. I have a physical notebook where I take notes on lore so I don't forget it. I comb through fanon AND canon and I decide from there what I want and what I don't want/what doesn't work and what does work for what I'm writing.

But here's something to keep in mind: at the end of the day, you're not writing FOR anyone else. You're not out to please people who are 100% canon, all the time, nor are you trying to accommodate people who only read fanon material. You're writing for YOU. This part is fun for me, but could be very tedious for other people. I'm a little weird like that (I started writing essays for fun since I learned about them in school).

I like doing research. Like a lot of writers, I go down multiple rabbit holes a day. I start by googling a simple question that should take five minutes and then I see something and go "oh! What's this!?" and pick it up, and the cycle continues when I see something else and eventually remember that I was writing.

I enjoy the research and figuring out the balance. Because DC and Marvel do the same shit with their own works! Shit gets retconned, or they bring characters back from the dead, blah blah blah. The fun part for me IS going insane trying to figure out the Flash Family and their STUPID family tree, or learning about characters that were basically forgotten by everyone- even the writers. The best part is that since it's my fic I'm writing, I can go: "What's the most entertaining way I can use this?" And no one can stop me.

But if YOU don't enjoy that part, and you try to do it, you might lose your spark!! Your inspiration!! You might not have fun, and that's what writing is all about!! My thing is, is that basically every fan interpretation, whether they try to stick to the original source as closely as they can or not, IS FANON. And fanon is fun!!

Basically it all stems down to: it's your sandbox and you can play in there however you want to. And sometimes, people see what you're doing and they're like "Can I play too?" and you're like "Yes that'd be awesome!!"

If you find that you do enjoy the research, I think it's well worth it. It's very satisfying to put together all that work and then get a comment from someone where they say "OMG!! I know that reference!" or "I love this interpretation of this very obscure thing!!"

My advice for writing a Peter in Gotham fic is to know where YOU are starting at, before you start writing your fic. If you're a Spider-Man fan and you don't know much about the Batfam, try reading a comic about them, or find some favorite fics and base your information on that. It works vice-versa, if you know more about Batfam and not a lot about Peter.

Imagine there are two people sitting in front of you. One is a Marvel fan, the other is a DC fan, and they know NOTHING about the other comics. But they both want to hear your story where you have combined them. It's important that you don't lean too much into either side: you keep both of their interest by appreciating the details from both DC and Marvel.

The Marvel fan will be happy to see Peter reacting to a new world and situations, even if they don't know everything you're referencing. But the DC fan will be excited because you care about the place that Peter is interacting with enough to make a joke that maybe only they would get.

So: have fun, explore everywhere you want to, and get a little crazy. Don't worry too much about not knowing everything there is to know. I don't know everything about DC or Marvel either!