#simply because they expect people to be afraid of them - to think they're monsters

[ninja-muse]

The Dollmakers by Lynn Buchanan is the most original fantasy novel I've read in a good while. It doesn't follow a familiar plot structure. It's peopled by characters rarely seen but true to life. It tackles its issues, themes, and conundrums without turning them into morals or even necessarily reaching conclusions. The magic has been done before, but also not this way. The world, while familiar in some aspects, also feels fresh and different.

Did I like it? I'm not sure. But I definitely think it's worth picking up.

Because this book is so different, it's hard to encapsulate. The premise of a young woman determined to prove herself and gain the job and status she deserves sounds like it should launch a novel of revenge, of conquest, or of an underdog—but this doesn't. A story about magical dolls designed to fight ravening monsters sounds like it should be about great battles and increasing odds—but this isn't. This also isn't a story about a stranger upending a small town, or mentorship, or political conflicts, or even a mystery. Instead, there are elements of all those things, but this novel is too character-driven to fall neatly into boxes. Shean of Pearl is simply going to do what she thinks best and we're along for the journey.

The complexity of the plot is mirrored in its characters. Shean is capable of kindness and delicacy and righteous anger, but she's also tactless and self-absorbed and unwilling to listen to reason. There are brave characters too afraid to interact with society, kind mentors who fail in their mentorship, sour but welcoming villagers, wandering scholars who hold themselves apart until they don't, rule-abiding citizens who can't value originality, thoughtful people who come to snap judgements, and a host of other people who are flawed and complicated as anyone of us might be in their place. There's nobody I can point to and say, "Here, she relied entirely on a trope."* Buchanan's character work is arguably where this book shines most.

As for the themes and issues, I've grown used to fantasy and science fiction with clear morals, clear good guys, and clear political points. Again, this isn't that sort of book. You have to get well into it before you see what Buchanan's talking about on that level and she's more interested about raising questions and pointing out problems than she is in solving anything. We and her characters are left with things to think about, and with introspection. And no, I won't say more than that. Spoilers!

This isn't to say that this book is without flaw. Mostly, on that front, I found Shean's emotional journey a little sudden and jerky at points, with greater or quicker character growth than her personality led me to expect, and there's one particular moment near the beginning that felt exaggerated for the sake of demonstration rather than being true to character. The rest of my problems, and what's holding me back from saying, "This book was amazing!", I think stem from how different this book is. Is my grumble at that minor character's reaction due to weak writing or because they're so perfectly poised within their world that of course they don't act like a "normal" character? Is this plot line wrapping up too neatly or are we being set up for a sequel? That sort of thing. I should point out this is a debut novel and these are issues I've run into with debut novels before—but at the same time, this is much, much more polished and subtle than a lot of debuts are.

As for the magic and the world, I've run on too long to cover them much, but the doll magic is lovely, the monsters are fascinating, the idea that every nation has its own entirely separate culture and magic is familiar while the details are not, and in general, it's all very strong. Buchanan has a lot to play with and I'd happily read more in this world whether or not there's a direct sequel.

To sum up: this is a very strong, very interesting, very unique debut fantasy. It's a novel to mull over and one I'll be sorting through my feelings for. If you're interested in smaller fantasy stories, fantasies that take their time, or are tired of current fantasy trends and plot types, you should absolutely give this one a look. Buchanan's going to be an author to watch, I think.

* apart from third-tier non-speaking characters, like waiters or shopkeepers

[phoebepheebsphibs]

Overanalyzing Mikey's fear

This post will be a bit vague, since most of Mikey's fears are connected to an unrevealed piece of lore... but I'll try to explain it as best I can

Living on the streets, Mikey obviously had to turn to unscrupulous means to survive. You may notice that when I refer to Leo, I call him a "petty thief". But I don't refer to Mikey as such, I call him a "con artist". Why the difference? Because Mikey has morals in him. Misguided and backwards, but they are there. Leo's driving moral is survival, so he has no problem taking whatever he wants. Mikey's conscience won't allow him to do that, so rather than steal outright, he tricks people to give him their belongings. His argument? "If they're dumb enough to fall for it, then I earned it and they deserve to lose it!" So, to reiterate, Mikey has morals but they are strained due to his life on the streets.

Mikey wants to be a good person, if only for his family's sake. He wants to set a good example of what a family should be, and what better example than himself? Like the song says, "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that change!" So, Mikey desperately attempts to be as perfect as he can. But, perfection is difficult to attain, and it brings a heavy weight on one's shoulders. Even so, Mikey has been carrying that weight since his early childhood...

Leo and Mikey have always been together, ever since Leo found his little brother in the alley. But their experiences in families has been vastly different (as we'll see in the next fear fungus update). Mikey was always the golden child, Leo the troublemaker. Mikey found that being the good kid was more favourable in order to get a family, so that was a big motivator to be perfect as well. It was never enough, though...

NOW ONTO THE LORE. In the comic, Mikey mentions "the teapot", and Donnie refers to it as "the emotionally traumatizing lore drop". I don't want to divulge too much, but I will say that Mikey stole something he never should have, felt badly about it, and when he tried to make amends, things went terribly wrong. Immediately afterwards, he was kidnapped by Draxum. But specifically, let's focus on Mikey's attempt to redeem his mistake. It failed catastrophically, which he did not expect. He truly believed that his coming clean about his misdeed would make it better, but instead it made it worse. The person he wronged? They blew up at him. They were enraged, furious! And he didn't expect that, because he was starting to think of this person as family. And Mikey had always believed that when a person apologizes, you forgive them! But his forgiveness was withheld, and Mikey was crushed by this fact. And so, he ran away... and unknowingly ran straight into the clutches of his creator...

OKAY NOW HERE'S THE BIG ONE. Sadly... I can't tell you the reasoning behind this. But let's look into the psychological aspect of it, shall we? Both Mikey and Donnie view Draxum as a monster, the most evil person they have ever known. Why? Because they both went through the same traumatic experience with him together! I think it is very interesting that while Donnie was afraid he would never live up to his father's standards, Mikey was terrified that he had surpassed them. The most evil, cruel, monstrous person Mikey had ever known told HIM that HE was "wretched, awful, evil, he told me I was a BAD PERSON". Whatever it was that Mikey did... he feels that it is unredeemable, unforgivable, even worse than the "teapot incident".

But to bring this back to a wholesome note -- because if we don't then Dr. Feelings will have my head -- Donnie helped Mikey understand that what he did was not unredeemable. He is not unforgivable. And from Donnie's perspective, Mikey is his hero, simply because he rescued him from a bad situation. More than once... but that's a story for another lore drop!

@boots-with-the-fur-club @daboyau

[piracytheorist]

something i love about spy family is that its a very funny manga, but it isn't afraid to be serious and talk about serious things (and its also really good at transitioning between the two)

Tatsuya Endo has an amazing grasp of balance. There are a lot of posts going around about how Spy x Family goes from something as heavy as "war makes monsters of us all" to something as silly as "Anya finds Loid's tourist fashion choices lame" and it somehow works.

It's one of the things that made me fall in love with the story from the second if not the very first episode of the anime. It dares to be realistic about how war impacts humans and how it takes them into a path they wouldn't normally take, but at its core it's a story filled with humor and love and connection, because this is how humans are supposed to live like. I mean, not to break it down to a "live laugh love" moral, but at the end of the day it does prioritize people living happily together and in peace. Even the "enemy" is shown in a sympathetic light from time to time.

And the humor and silliness attributes to that. It makes the story light-hearted despite the heavy issues it tackles. It would be hard to find hope in a story that focuses only on those heavy issues, if its vibe was constant grittiness and violence and dark themes. Not that there's anything wrong with stories with such themes; but you wouldn't usually watch such a story and expect to feel full of hope afterwards, nor expect it to have the humor that SxF has.

What is amazing is how Endo manages the balance of it all. How he works in the silliness amidst an environment of a cold war, of hardened spies and assassins, because it would be very easy to veer right into tone-deaf cheesy territory that gives you (unintentional) emotional whiplash. I think it's due to how the characters are only slightly exaggerated versions of something you'd see in real life. Anya behaves as any five-year-old would, where her focus is to work in protection of peace, make sure the family won't break apart, and above all, have fun. Yor's view of the world has been impacted by how long she's worked as an assassin, but her "naivete" is mostly her tendency to see good in everyone, even the "bastards" she's sent to kill. Twilight keeps telling himself everything he does is "for the mission" but he's only human and can't help bonding with his family even if he doesn't realize it.

The characters may behave in an exaggerated way from time to time, but they're not caricatures. The humor and ridiculousness (affectionate) in their actions are based on real human traits and behaviours we can see in real life. The want to have fun, the tendency to see the good in people, the desire to love. Endo simply takes those and has three people whose special traits clash with those three mentioned traits. Anya grew up as a science experiment in a lab where she wasn't allowed to have fun, so now that she has people who care for her emotional growth she goes all out with fun activities. Yor was forced into the choice of becoming an assassin, having to be told "This person is BadTM so you play judge jury and executioner", but with Yuri being her motivation (and later on the Forgers too) she managed to keep her kind heart. Occasionally she can't control her monstrous strength and may also consider killing people who inconvenience her and then go like "Yo wtf chill maybe". Twilight became a spy and distanced himself from human connections, but now that his job brought him into the position of staying long term with a kid and a wife and a dog, his desire for such a connection is rearing its persistent head. And so you get a Professional Master SpyTM playing "Rescue Princess Anya from the Evil Clutches of Count Scruffy Head".

It's the contrast that makes the humor of it all, and in such a way that it never takes only one character's side. I think that also adds to the "flexibility" of the story. It's easier to connect to a story when there's multiple sides explained and understood by the audience; and I mean, the only thing the story looks to be trying to "convince" you of is that humans live best when they live in peace and surrounded by people they love, and that's an undeniable fact of human nature. The characters can and do make mistakes but they're shown to be able to grow from them, and even someone radicalized and extremist like Yuri has understandable motives and a very human nature - just one that was taken advantage of by people in power.

Overall yeah, I think it's how focused on the characters' humanity the story is that it makes the balance between humor and heavy issues work. Again, though it can be exaggerated at times, it's not a caricature or slapstick, just for the sake of making the audience laugh. There's a depth and a genuine reaching out for the audience's emotions and understanding.

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga 😁)

[memes-in-a-half-shell]

There's absolutely no denying that Mikey would be the king of hugs. It's those type of hugs that feels absolutely genuine and gives you an energy boost in return. No matter how tall or shaped you are, you feel like his arms were made to hug you!

Raph is indeed a teddy bear and the kind of guy to lift you off the floor and swirl around playfully. Otherwise he just likes to enclose you in his arms - you feel protected and he knows that.

Leo feels like a warm blanket. He's soft and tender, and sometimes starts to rock his from from side to side while hugging, simply because he's happy to hug you! I see him as someone that likes to squeeze gently your shoulders or anywhere his hands lands on, jsut to emphazise how he likes holding you.

I'm absolutely biased about Donnie, but I would believe that he's not afraid to hug once he knows someone well enough (otherwise it's gentle pats or hugging back just for the sake of being polite). When he hugs, he wants to bury himself in the action - he'll nuzzle the top of your head, he wants to keep you as close as possible and never let you go. Being the tallest, he's not afraid to sit you up anywhere and hug you better. Bonus point if you wrap your arms around his neck! HE JUST WANTS TO MELT AND GIVE HIMSELF COMPLETELY INTO THE HUG 😩💜

Anyone else just occasionally imagines being squish hugged by each turtle brother? Just bayverse are so big. I bet the hugs are the best.

[noa-de-cajou]

Kaizarz belongs to @corneille-but-not-the-author

Oli (mentioned) belongs to @thal-ent

______

“Begone. Return to your kind, slaver.”

I was expecting Kaizarz Laangfisk to be cross with me. After all, I roped in his little friends into a high-stakes bet and one of them spent the night with me, and it'd be surprising if he didn't know my activities apply to a much broader scope than mere piracy.

Nonetheless, being grabbed by the neck and thrown on the ground sure was a surprise. My lip is bleeding. My throat aches. How long has it been since someone landed a hit on me, let alone made me bleed?

Ha. No matter how impressive, it’s still a childish reaction. Act rashly when someone touches your weakness the first time and they’ll know exactly where to aim the next. Someone in power should always know that, but we’re talking about a bunch of rowdy teenagers here, and he’s the worst of them all. Kings, Tyrants, Heroes, Emperors, they may look different but none of them are as hard to understand as they think.

No, the rash part isn't so surprising. The look in his eyes when he grabbed me, however…

Those were one of the coldest pair of eyes I’d ever seen.

And I've seen a lot of those.

At least his eyes looked at you. Father never cared enough to.

That doesn’t matter. It’s exactly as I thought. This boy has something boiling inside him. Something rotten. His friends didn't notice because it wasn’t turned towards them, because using it against me isn’t so bad, who needs humanity when it's a monster you’re against, but I'm curious of how they'll react when he'll face off against Brynja. Gods, I wish I could be there to see it.

I get up, slowly, wiping the blood from my face as an uncontrollable smile forms on my lips.

“Well, you won’t need me much, anyway. After all, you'll be the conductor of your own downfall.”

Something changes in his face.

A shiver runs down my spine. Twice in two days. Impressive.

Something liquid and viscous wraps slowly itself up my leg. I don’t need to look to know it’s his blood.

One wrong word. One wrong word, and my head will roll, or so his eyes seem to say. But he can’t do that. Not while they're still stuck in this port, not while they still need my money to get out.

Because they want to get out. They want to run away. What are you sailing away from, Kaizarz Laangfisk ? It's a shame I can’t see that journey come to completion, really. But he won't kill me.

Won't he?

…

I’m not stupid enough to provoke him again, so I simply stand there and wait for him to retract his spell, which he does. The warning has been received, no point in dawdling now. So I simply wave them goodbye with a smile before turning away.

You’re going to run? Just like that? Like you lost?

Of course not.

I relinquish control. Oh, not for long, just a split second for them to understand how nice I've actually been all this time and what I could have released on them.

Then I seal it up again and glance back.

The only one who hasn’t paled is Oli. The others look like they've seen a ghost. Or a glimpse of a nightmare, perhaps.

I’m not afraid to send a message either, Kaizarz.

Little shows of strenght like these are hardly worth caring about.

Even if my throat still aches.

There's a few things you ought to remember.

Your little fairy friend is only alive because I allowed her to. And as surprising as it sounds, you’ll meet people way less scrupulous than I.

But well. You don’t need to worry.

For if anyone is more ruthless than I am, it’s you, isn’t it?

[valleynix]

Idc what's in character and what's not as long as I get my rare soft Bela/Cass moments when they love each other not only from afar asdfgh

THE FACT THAT YOU WERE THINKING IF IT'S OK TO ADD THOSE KISSES FROM DANI IS TERRIFYING WHAT KIND OF FAMILY THOSE PEOPLE HAVE THAT THEY WOULD THINK OF IT AS ANYTHING BUT PLATONIC OH MY GOD

Are they supposed to stay 6ft away from each other all the time or what 😭

I think Lunatic/Reader portray nicely that monsters are made.

And I really like that Lunatic isn't the way they are just because but there's so much depth to it.

If the planned thing with Red is about them getting ripped to pieces then sure I am going to enjoy it.

And virginity may have a few interpretations.

But I don't see how any of it would actually affect the blood's taste, because there's simply no way losing it has such an impact unless there's some supernatural witchy explanation to it. (I also heard "virgin blood" is the one never used in rituals before, but again it's not sth that would logicaly explain the difference in taste)

I could see Alcina liking her victims being virgins because of her hate for men and a virgin is often interpreted as a woman who never had sex with a man. But the taste wouldn't be a main thing then.

That's why I wonder how it works in this universe.

now i'm thinking of a scenario where their roles are reversed and Bela starts being super annoying to Cass for no reason, just because it's funny to her LMAOOO

Y'ALL ALREADY KNOW HOW WEIRD MFS BE IN THIS FANDOM, I TALK ABT IT ALL THE TIME (or i used to). the sibling shippers make me want to actually vomit and it makes me afraid to show them being like physically affectionate with each other because people might take it the wrong way </3

even Miranda isn't a massive cunt just because she can be 😭 she's genuinely lost so much in TPtM's universe and has had to witness her daughter dying over and over and over, and that mixed with the influence of the megamycete is sure to make anyone go a little crazy

villains being evil just because they can be is so funny, but i like writing them having reasons for why they act the way they do </3 i don't think i could forgive Miranda for all of this, but at least Lunatic is actually showing change

(meanwhile Red is just a massive dick because they can be LMAO)

well, about that- (i don't want to spoil it but i GUARANTEE you'll like it >:3)

Cas actually messaged me about the virgin thing, and in their words:

"[...] it's about the concept of virgins and how the word can mean many things but ppl usually associate it with sex. but like it could be someone that never has done damned things that could taint their "soul" like do something cultish. so ig the Dimitrescu are tasting the purity of people's blood. and it could also mean they prefer blood that hasn't been tainted with the cadou/mold (well lady d mainly i think)

we did think that people who are "virgins" (or maidens, whichever) taste different, perhaps stronger because of the blood purity, and Cas suggested maybe like a pastry or a meat dish? something that would entice the person drinking the blood into getting more and more of it until their victim is dry

in the case of TPtM's universe, since Red is a smuggler for the Dimitrescus and brings in maidens for them, i guess it could actually be assumed they're bringing in outsiders that haven't been tainted by the mold or any other experimentation. that would explain why the girls don't become feral after drinking Reader's blood, and they wouldn't expect to since they already know they're an experiment in some capacity. with Bela being the only one that knows right now, and seeing how there aren't any other moldy experiments they could drink the blood of to know how they taste, i don't think Cass/Dani would really make the connection

basically, i guess sex doesn't really matter in this case, as the "virginity" refers more to the fact the person (specifically, woman) is "pure" and is not an experiment, rather just some human. i dunno how blood would taste to the Dimis, but i assume they have better sense for making distinctions between flavors, since they can distinguish scents, too

(if that makes sense skdjfh)

i'll probably have to look it up just to be sure how it's interpreted with usual vampires, but for the moment, we'll go with that explanation :D

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[microplasticbarbie]

It's honestly so annoying when people act all offended and outraged when someone suggests male violence is innate because subconsciously, they think it is too! Just look at all those crime articles where a father abused/raped his kids, and the mother didn't do anything about it. Everyone in the comments says the same thing: "The mother is even worse than the father, because she betrayed her children!"

How come a man abusing/raping his own children isn't seen as a betrayl? How come the mother, that simply didn't do anything to stop him, is worse than the man that actively attacked his children?

I think it's because deep down, no one expects anything from men. They know that they're the violent sex, anyone that has read any history or watched the news would come to that conclusion. They think that a man being a violent monster is a given, hence why men are praised for simply not abusing their wives/children. That's all it takes to be considered a "good man".

Men will even admit that the only thing preventing them from committing atrocities is the consequences they will face like jail, being fired, eternal damnation in their religion, etc. That's it. No morals of their own that stop them. Just look at all those reddit threads where men anonymously confess to what they'd do if there was no law. It's like how men that refuse to purchase prostitutes don't think that human trafficking is bad or that women aren't goods to be bought and sold, it's because they're afraid of catching STDs or being arrested.

I wish more feminists would just give up on the whole "Let's try to teach men morals and raise non-misogynistic sons!" because it won't work. It has never worked at any point in human history and there is nothing to suggest men will suddenly develop a conscience and stop tormenting women anytime soon. The sooner they stop trying to redeem males, the sooner we can all focus on actually liberating women from their violence.

I just wish we could just acknowledge the elephant in the room already.

[ficsandcatsandficsandcats]

Reader being friends with Eskel and late one night they're chilling or w/e and they confess that they like him but like. Fully expecting him to not feel the same and really nervous about ruining the friendship? But eskel likes them too, just didn't want to mess things up as well and it's just really soft???

Fandom: The Witcher Pairing: Eskel x Reader Word Count: 1,851 Rating: G a/n: Part II. It has been 84 years since I wrote a kiss but I hope you like it xo

            It took three weeks to find him after you’d healed.

            You woke in a room you did not know and had thought for a moment you were taken captive. When Yennefer entered the room and welcomed you to Kaer Morhen, and consciousness, she acted as if it were the most natural thing in the world to wake up in the notorious home of the witchers. Then again, for her it probably was.

            She didn’t answer half of your questions and what she did share you’d assumed. Eskel had brought you and immediately called for her (“Rather impatiently,” she’d sniffed as she said it, though there was a note of respect in her voice.). After Yennefer arrived and you’d been declared stable, he’d left. She didn’t know where and she didn’t know why or if he would be returning. She refused to let you leave until all that was left of your injury was a pale, puckered scar and the warning that it may ache as the seasons changed.

            “Be careful with that one,” she said to you, a final piece of parting advice, “At the best of times a witcher is hard to pin down. Eskel was not at his best when he left here.”

            “You worry about your witcher and I’ll worry about mine,” you’d said coolly, the truth of her words as chilling as the early morning air. You began your trek, focused on the task ahead, but her final words chased after you and echoed in your head long after you’d left the grounds.

            “Is he your witcher, though?”

-----

            Eskel absentmindedly scratched the goat’s scruffy chin as his mind replayed memories he had long since given up repressing. The harder he tried to forget the brilliant red of your blood on his hands or the grey tinge to your skin when he laid you on his bed, the more strongly they returned. His new plan was to surrender to it as he had so many other painful memories that haunted him. He knew it was cowardly to leave but he hadn’t been able to make himself stay. It was a poor excuse but he didn’t have a better on to offer. People praised the witchers for their strength and courage but what was a monster to the loss he’d nearly suffered? The goat wriggled off of his lap and bounded away and Eskel rose quickly to go after it lest it was trying to fight another of its kind. He’d gotten as far as his knees when he froze.

            He’d grown used to seeing you in unexpected places. Moments before your near death and after, but never like this. Never with this expression on your face, half-joy and half-fear. You’d never looked afraid of him before. He stayed in place and watched as you moved closer. This could be witchcraft, he knew, but before long it was too late to fight it as you stood in front of him and when your hand tentatively reached out and touched his face as it had in what felt like another lifetime, he didn’t care.

            “You’re a real bastard,” you said, though your tone of voice lost all of its bite as soon as they left your lips. You had begun to give up hope that you’d find him, and filled with a deep dread that when you did he simply wouldn’t care. Your fingers moved to his lips, softer than you’d expected, and then pulled away.

            “Well?” you demanded.

            “Are you really here?” he asked, a note of awe in his voice.

            “Don’t be so surprised, Eskel, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” you said, falling back on sarcasm as the reunion you’d imagined began to dissolve. You weren’t sure what you’d expected. After all, he’d left of his own accord. And he hadn’t asked you to find him.

            “I thought you might be,” he confessed, “I dreamt it a hundred times. Thought maybe Yennefer had been mistaken and you’d come for me one day.”

            You opened your mouth to make a joke about coming for him, more out of discomfort at the strangely vulnerable look in his eyes than any genuine desire you felt at that moment, but before you could speak he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in close. His head pressed into your stomach and you rested your arms around his shoulders. One hand slid into the coarse, brown hair, brushing it out of his face as he wordlessly embraced you. When he finally looked back up at you there were tears shining in his golden eyes.

            “Eskel…,” you began, feeling slightly ridiculous for being so nervous but also knowing better than most that there were no guarantees in this world. Men didn’t usually drop to their knees and cry over people they felt nothing for, but witchers were not men. And Eskel was not like most witchers. He watched you expectantly, arms falling to gently rest against the backs of your calves as if he couldn’t quite force himself to stop touching you until you asked.

            “Y/N?” he prodded gently after he couldn’t take the silence anymore. You cleared your throat and took a deep breath. Yennefer had asked a question and you needed an answer.

            “Well, when a person nearly dies it makes them think about things. I mean, you probably know, you’ve nearly died a thousand more times than I have…”

            His eyes grew sorrowful and he hung his head, forehead brushing against your belt.

            “I should have moved quicker,” he said, saying aloud the words he’d been chasing in his mind since you’d been struck down, “I should have seen it coming.”

            “Eskel we’ve gone over this, it wasn’t your fault. It’s a natural part of hunting, sometimes people die. Anyway what I meant to say was –”

            “I shouldn’t have let you come,” he said, turning his head back up to look at you, a determined expression you didn’t like settling into his features.

            “I get to make those decisions myself thank you but what I was going to say-”

            “I promised myself I wouldn’t let another get hurt due to my carelessness. I won’t break it again. We’ll find you someplace to be, someplace safer, I’ll talk to Ves-”

            You clasped a hand over his mouth and though he could have easily brushed it aside, he fell silent. The amber eyes looked up into yours, waiting for condemnation or instruction.

            “I am trying to say that I love you,” you said, enunciating each word clearly because you knew you wouldn’t be able to repeat them if he asked. Your heart pounded loudly in your chest as you watched the words sink in, the expectant shifting to curious. The brow furrow and slacken as realization dawned on him, and for a moment he were gazed up at you as if waiting for a caveat. You slowly released your hand from his mouth but still he was speechless.

            “Eskel?”

            “Hmm.”

            Your arms slackened and you forced your spine straight though your body wanted nothing more than to crumple in on itself.

            “I value your friendship and if I’ve ruined it I would never forgive myself but obviously you don’t have any obligations and gods please don’t try to let me down gently or go along with anything because of some misplaced sense of guilt because I would rather look at Roach the wrong way in Geralt’s presence than make you feel… burdened with my love or whatever we want to call it we don’t have to call it love we don’t have to call it anything in fact we can just-”

            He pressed one finger softly against your lips and you fought the sudden urge to slide it into your mouth. His mouth quirked into a smile and you saw a glint in his eyes as he shook his head. Amusement, and something more. Something that gave you hope.

            “So many words, pretty girl,” he murmured, caressing your bottom lip with his thumb, “There are so many words for what I feel. But right now I’d just like to kiss you, by your leave.”

            He felt your heart skip a beat but he waited for your answer, given in a series of surprised blinks and then an eager head nod.

            Eskel had thought long and hard about the many different ways your first kiss may go. He’d imagined them brusque and passion driven or soft and practically chaste or even accidental, lips brushing at a glance and then going back for more at the recognition of how right it felt for them to be together. He closed his eyes and tilted his face up in one fluid motion, lips finding yours instinctively. Your lips were chapped from the journey and cold from the evening air and a goat bleated indignantly in the background and it was perfect. His arms wrapped back up around your waist as your hands clasped his face. He didn’t wince as your fingers ran against his scar or when your tongue brushed up against a rough, sword-hewn edge of his mouth. He let you in, yielding to you with a soft sigh that you swallowed, rolling it into a moan as you moved your body even closer. He pulled back, placing a quick kiss on your nose as he did before pressing his forehead against yours. His hair fell into his face and you reached up and tenderly brushed it back, tracing the strong contours of his jaw and cheekbone and chin.

            “I lo- I have loved you, Y/N,” he breathed the words, a final submission.

            “How long?” you asked, the warmth of the words sinking deep into your bones and filling you with a soft, radiant happiness unlike anything you’d ever felt before.

            “I don’t know,” he admitted with a shy smile, “The day I met you? When you made Lil’ Bleater a flower crown to match your own at the festival? Every time you scowled at me when I tried to shrug off your healing? I love you in so many ways it feels as natural as the tides, building and growing but never truly more or less. Just in different forms. The only constant I have for you is my love. I hope that’s enough. I hope I…”

            His words trailed off but you saw their meaning in his amber eyes.

            “It’s everything,” you answered, “You’re everything.”

            The tears that came unbidden to his eyes were happy but you brushed them away just as tenderly as any other and when he kissed you again he pulled you down to the ground next to him, eager to give as much of himself as you wished to take.

-----

Yennefer was woken by the sound of insistent cooing. She rolled over to face it, gently extracting Geralt’s arm from her side to reach out to the pigeon that had alighted on the window. As soon as she loosed the note from its leg, it jutted away again. Cautiously she unrolled the tiny piece of parchment and smiled at its contents.

            Yes.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 45 - watching notes

I'm at this stage of fandom rn where it's really hard to concentrate on anything else 😅

Every song I listen to gets dissected for how it relates to wangxian

I need to concentrate on my thesis but instead I'm pondering how the untamed raises questions about collectivism vs individualism and how my western perception of that might differ greatly from a native chinese person or even the author's intention

Can't I just write my thesis about THAT?

Alas, I digress ...

Back to our regular programming :D

Last time one Sophie watches the untamed wwx went all Sherlock on us and used his formidable skills of deduction to expose Backpfeifengesicht's plan of killing everyone and blaming it on wwx

I've heard from several people that the next few episodes are their favourites, so no high expectations at all :D

Nobody wipes the blood on their chins away. Might be about the aesthetic

I adore detective-duo-wangxian so much!! Especially because wwx does 99% of the talking but then lwj will chime in with a single word and it's 100% devastating :D

If anyone knows any well written case-fics for these two, please, I need recs! (For after the show)

Backpfeifengesicht makes good one point and that is that jgy already is at the top of the cultivation world. So what does he gain from all this?

Or is it simply that he's afraid of wwx because he's a rebel and might act against him? (Don't answer that. I wanna find out through the show ;))

Wwx just casually revealed that he's been to cloud recess and that he handles went to the restricted section forbidden chamber. What will you do about, Lan Qiren? Huh? 😂

Oooh! Backpfeifengesicht is the ghosted faced man! I thought it was Jiggy himself!!! 😱

That makes way more sense though!

Lan Sizhui! Jin Ling! Oh you brave boys! 😭

Someone hold me 😭

But why does he not take zidian now? He's done so before!

"You little fool!" Is "I love you" in Jiang-Cheng-speak :D

"We're done for! What can we do??" - wwx *strips*

Sorry

Bahahaha 😂😂😂

I just burst out laughing waaay to loudly for the fact that I've got people sleeping in the room next to mine

But look at Lan Qiren when he sees wwx strop to reveal anat is probably his nephew's undershirt 😂😂😂

He's probably questioning every decision that's let him to this point :D

This is completely inconsequential,but I couldn't keep quiet about it anymore because I every time he makes this motion, it always sends a shiver down my spine!!! Notice that wwx (or rather Xiao Zhan) is one of these people whose fingers bend in the opposite direction??? I know it's just a normal thing some people can do, but I can't watch it!! It makes my fingers hurt just looking at it 🙈🙈🙈

Is he turning himself into a demon lure flag?? 😱

Lan Jingyi 🥺🥺🥺

Also does wwx now just transfer his self-sacrificing tendencies to lwj?

Nothing is as hot as these two together in a fight scene

Jiang Cheng doesn't want to leave them behind. He does care! :') he just never unlearned how to unravel his love from his anger

Sizhui running up to greet his dads :')

Look at them! I'm soft guys 💔

He called him Yuan!! 😭😭😭

So this is it. Any doubts I ever had about Sizhui's identity are gone

Will he finally recognize him??

Why don't you say anything lwj? This one time, I beg you!!

Sect Leader Yao still at his gossip shit even 16 years later 🙄

Lam sizhyi is seasick! Why is this so cute! 😭

Oh Wen Ning!! He recognized A-Yuan? Right?

I want to hug Lan Sizhui for his openness and kindness towards everyone he meets, no matter their status or what other people say about them! (Wen Ning now or who he thought was Mo Xuanyu the supposed mad-man) and I wanna hug lan Wangji right after for raising him to be like this :')

Oh Wen Ning! 😭

That's how I'd look at Sizhui, too, if I met him - poor unadulterated wonder :')

And just think about what that means for Wen Ning! He's not the last of the Wens! All their fight wasn't for nothing. This child, their legacy, survived 😭😭😭

"Can I call you A-Yuan" "Of Course." God I'm gonna burst into tears 😭

I'm actually bursting into tears!!

Isn't this the dream of anyone who has ever lost someone? :')

"He's like a brother and father to me" :')

And he raised him from when he was 4 or 5? So ... A-Yuan was about 2 when the Wens died? Right? Then 5 would fit with lwj's 3 year isolation

Ob god, it's the butterfly-toy!!! 😭😭😭

Wen Nings smiling through his tears! I can't! 😭💔And he's got the one from the market!

Aww, wax isn't wearing the white undergarment anymore. Too bad

Oh poor Jin Ling ...

So much grieve that he could probably never process. There so many lost kids in this story, hurt by things they had no control over 😔

I mean, I get it. That's the person who killed his parents (without being in control, but he doesnt know that) and everyone is just talking to him as if it's normal and that didn't happen. But he can't forget,but he doesnt really understand either and he has no outlet. Of course he'd just ... crash 😥

And who would have thought I'd ever try at a flashback of Jin Zixuan's death :(

For once, it'd be nice if the adults actually acted like the parent figures they're supposed to be and explain things to their children 🤦‍♀️

I'm so thankful though, that no one even thinks of scolding him for crying. Jismg Cheng only asked who it was that made him cry (and looks like he'll kick their ass). Generally, thus show has a very healthy attitude towards tears. Most characters cry when they are faced with tragedy, regardless of gender. Men being allowed to have appropriate reactions to grieve (instead of a single men tear or just punching things) is really nice to see

Oh Yao dude whose courtesy name I can't remember, shut up!

Thanks Ouyang Zizhen! You get me

I live for these children standing up to their elders

Meanwhile Nie Huaisang is just on the sidelines, enjoying the show :D never change!

The Lotus Pier theme song alone is making me cry rn 😢

Why can't wen Ning come in?

Oh Sizhui!

He many times do you want to make me cry happy tears today?? :')

Little turnip-baby ❤

But why doesn't lwj say anything ??? 😭

Lan Wangji raised A-Yuan smong a bunch of rabbits??? 😭

Now he's a turnip baby with a taste for carrots, how cute is that? :')

Holy shit, wwx and lwj are really joined at the hip these days of lwj won't enter the hall if wwx isn't allowed to :D

Lwj 😑 "no misbehaviour"

Someone. Knows. Their. Husband.

Okay sorry, but as painful as these cuts must have been and yes, while you do see scars on this prostitute's face, they in no way warrant these horrified gasps as of they had all seen a monster 🙄

Xue yang. Fancy seeing you here in this not at all disturbing sub-plot 😬

Okay that's creepy. That's really creepy

Shouldn't Jin Guangyao have a bit more compassion for these women?

On the other hand, he was born to menacingly stand behind a curtain 🤷‍♀️

W. T. F. ????

Jin Guangshan??? o___O

That's the most skin we've ever seen on this show and it's in a scene like THIS? 😬

THIS IS HOW JIN GUANGSHAN DIED? 😱😱😱

How?

How can you die from sex?

And then jgy made them keep going?

UGH

These poor women :/

So there's someone who set her free on purpose, right?

Bicao has really interesting eyes!

Oh wait, took me some time to catch up. This is about Quin Su and why she killed herself, right?

WHAT??

They were siblings o_O

They just went full game of thrones on this ...

Hey Jin Guangshan, screw you for raping that woman

Wait, is that why jgy had him die like THAT?

I'm so confused about how that happened btw

But why would Jin Guangyao merry quin su anyway? Was this some kind of political marriage that he couldn't call off?

This episode answered some of my questions but raised about a dozen more 😅

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose

5 episodes to go. I'm both happy because I can't wait to brows the untamed tag without looking for spoilers and extremely sad 🥺

Right now I'm planning to watch one episode each day until friday and then watch the last two on Saturday, hopefully quite early, so I can spend the rest of the day crying my eyes out over it, without having to worry about such trivial things as being a functioning adult or a responsible student 😅

[yanderecandystore]

TW/Tags: :) // eldritch horror not faithfully interpreted // illusions // identity thief // first eldritch fanfic on this blog :3

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

A bad dream [Yandere Eldritch - short fanfic]

You were running through the streets, with your husband pulling your arm and running with you.

Taking you somewhere away from home.

The streets are all messed up, the sky looks so terrifying. It all looks as if a terrible storm just passed through here, and it looks like It's going to start a new one again.

The sky looks red, your lovely town is destroyed, and you can only hear screaming and the man in front of you yelling at you to be faster.

You don't know what is happening, you're afraid, this was not supposed to be happening. Wait.

Why can't you remember anything? Anything that happened before this.

This feels so weird and wrong, you remember that your city was perfectly fine 5 seconds ago, but it feels as if it took more than that to be in this state.

It's like you were teleported to an action horror movie in those 5 seconds. Oh my Lord, your leg hurts so much!!

Wait, why is your leg suddenly this painful?

"- Come on, [Y/N]!" Says your husband.

Wait, why are you running?

"- Their coming. We don't have much time-"

He was cut off by an loud deep growl, it sounds so animalistic in a way.

But the way it shakes the entire ground isn't normal. The way it vibrates in your head, isn't normal.

Buildings shake with the sound. You almost got hit by a gigantic piece of concrete right there and then, if it wasn't for the man next to you being a goddamn life savior!!

Holy shit, what is happening??!!

"- Heh, no thanks in return for saving your life twice, love?" Says the man with brown eyes, and a smug little grin on his face.

Oh, uhhhnn sorry, twice? Well, thank you so much- What the fuck is happening ??!!!

"- . . . [Y/N]?"

What?

"- You, you really don't remember?"

Should you?

"- . . . I-"

Oh my, he looks so sad. What is it that you don't remember??

He was going to tell you, when another, but way closer growl stopped him in his tracks as he just hugs you to protect you from the shaking.

But, although the sound is enough to knock some of the buildings. It feels like there is something else destroying them.

Something in the sky . . .

"- Nonono- don't- Don't look up!"

He tells you while stopping your head from looking at the sky.

Was something wrong?

"- Please, don't look at it!!"

Is he crying? Why is he crying? You don't understand anything that is happening.

It, it hurts you, for some reason.

What the hell is happening?

Oh, there you are. Have you always been down there? I was looking for you everywhere.

Being this high, is really easy to lose track of-

You don't look up, you can hear it, you don't know what it says.

But you can so fucking hear it.

You're prettified, it's speaks in a different language, if it is an language to beginning with. You feel it, staring at you two. It growls like a animal, you may not be able to see it's face, but you can see claws digging the building in front of you.

You hear it, crawling. Crawling down the building. You can hear it's claws digging the concrete. You can see the claws, digging the concrete.

The people around you run and scream, all seem to go away from you two, or, you three.

And, as expected, this one is again close to you.

Why is this one so close to you? So attached to you?

It annoys me. Please go away.

This is an nightmare right?? This is not fucking happening for real, is it??

"- [Y/N]. . . Please, don't leave me-"

There we go now, that's better.

You were lifted up by an giant hand, you scream in fear but you still don't want to look at it. With eyes still closed, you can hear the man that was close to you screaming too.

But you can tell his screaming from beneath you.

Greetings.

It said something, you can't understand what it said.

Are you scared? . . . Weird, you weren't scared before. When the sky of your simple little world parted, you didn't looked scared of me.

Can someone wake you up from this nightmare now??? This is a nightmare right? This can't be real. There is no such thing as giant monsters.

You looked, curious, from what I could tell.

Don't you worry, I'm not mad, I got a little curious about you too. In fact, that's why I came here looking for you.

I wanted to take an closer look at you.

You can tell is staring right at your core. It's terrifying and also a bit uncomfortable.

You can't resist anymore.

You open your eyes, but to your surprise, you couldn't see the monster holding you yet. He was looking at your back.

For some seconds you could see that, from the red clouds in the sky, all types of different gigantic beasts came from the sky, although they seemed to be far away from you.

All types of nightmarish beasts. Yep, it's a dream. It's a fucking dream.

You could see your husband, he looked so desperate to try to get you back but he knew he couldn't do anything.

The being holding you, turns you, making you meet it's face.

Oh shit, you weren't ready-

. . . When you meet it's face, it's-

It's . . . A bit goofy. Big nose, holes for eyes. It looks like an mask to be honest.

It has an lot of eyes, cool eyes, pretty eyes.

And four arms. . .

Cool.

You, don't feel threatened anymore. Heh, it looks to be smiling. Kinda cute.

Heyya big fella!

"- Nonono not again- please [Y/N], don't look at it!!! It will-"

You hear what sounds like your husband screaming, but, yeah, you aren't really paying attention anymore.

It almost sounds as if his voice is being muffled in your brain.

Geez, actually you feel a little bit relaxed now, it's calming up here. Damn, you could see your house from this far.

. . . Are you drugged? Maybe you were hypnotized ? . . ?

Yeah, your brain is turning to mush. And although you know that, you can't tell anything apart anymore.

It's just you, and a giant beast who you can't understand. Who is also, speaking to you right now.

Small, a bit frail. Possibly feeling lost, by the way you got scared when I grabbed you. But now you're relaxed, and looking at me with less fear.

It's because of me that you feel relaxed? I don't frighten you? I, somehow calmed you down. . .

Do you like to be with me? In my presence?

That's interesting, in that case, I could honestly say you calm me down too.

But that one down there is inconvenient. And it seems to be constantly bothering you as well. It keeps making so much noise.

They said something like [Y/N], is that your name? I used to have so many names, but never one that was simple and pretty like yours. It's, cute.

But not coming from that mortal.

Are they important to you, mortal?

Are they your ma-

. . .

Well, it suddenly stopped talking. It looks like is thinking about something. You don't understand anything that is going on, but sure, whatever.

It started to do something, you can tell what it is, but it's pretty. You look at all the eyes on it's body, they're all so pretty.

Blue. A pretty blue.

You feel as if you were being called to them, you feel as if you were drowning in them.

You don't mind. It's pretty.

You can hear screaming and sobbing.

But it's okay, everything feels okay.

So everything must be okay.

Yeah.

Everything is okay now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up in panic, feeling like you weren't breathing.

You look around, is your room.

You're on your bed.

Your husband is on your side. Sleeping peacefully. Awwn.

Everything looks the same.

Holy moly, that was an ride! Why did you had such an weird dream?

God that was terrible, everything looked so much like an horror movie.

Geez, you're glad you didn't wake your husband up with that jump you made.

"- Is everything okay, [Y/N]?"

Oh, nevermind, you waked him up.

"- Ah, don't worry, crazy dream, heh!"

"- Was it, really bad?"

"- Well, it was about-" you were stopped from a moment.

When you met your husband face.

"- Is there something wrong?" He asked you.

Did it have something wrong? You, you couldn't tell.

"- Oh nothing, I'm just trying to remember the whole dream, it was, pretty bad."

You said that, trying to reassure your lovely husband, it was nothing worth worrying about.

The blue eyed male gives you an little smile in response. He is so happy to know you're okay.

(Little sketch about this that I simply don't know where the fuck this idea came from)

(Edited some misspellings)

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

Anyone want another halfblood au? No? Well too bad!

Roman and Remus Victor, sons of Nike:

As sons of the goddess of victory, they have always been very competitive with everyone and most of all with each other, but simply assumed it was because they're sibling and siblings fight a lot.

They are always on opposite teams in capture the flag, because they either get picked as captains or the captains know better than to try to put them on the same team.

They both really care about winning and are very sore losers, but they each have their own idea on what winning is.

Simply put, Roman believes your victory doesn't count if you played dirty to get it or hurt someone along the way when you could have avoided that.

But Remus believes that victory is the only thing that matters and that it only counts if youre willing to do anything to achieve it.

Virgil Blackstone, Son of Hecate:

When he started learning Latin for the aesthetic, he did not expect it to end with him accidentally raising the dead.

He loves his house and his half siblings and he loves practicing magic.

He decided to entirely embrace the Goth Witch Aesthetic™ and he looks amazing tbh.

Hates capture the flag but actually loves sparring as a form of stress relief. He just hates competition.

Thomas Sanders, Son of Apollo:

Is really good at the singing and healing, like amazing at it. He's just okay at archery though. Not much worse than any other Apollo child but also not much better.

Is a precious bean that must be protected at all costs. Mess with him and you'll have half the camp after you.

Is very capable of defending himself but is more likely to apologize to you if you step on him. However if you hurt his friends, its over for you bitches.

Remington Pax, Son of Hypnos:

Fucking lazy as fuck. Sleeps all day, hardly ever leaves his cabin. Astral projects in his sleep just so he wont have to actually talk to people.

Deep down super insecure about his abilities and whether he even belongs in this camp, but he deals with that by ignoring it and sleeping more. Please help him.

Ethan Conroy, son of Athena:

Suave, smooth talking bastard. Always has a plan. Good luck finding out what it is though.

Earned the nickname Deceit by hustling the shit out of everyone and pretty much always getting away with it.

Loves snakes and pretends to not be as afraid of spiders as the rest of his cabin mates but they terrify him.

Virgil knows this and adorns himself with spider web patterns and carries his pet tarantula around whenever he doesn't wanna deal with Deceit's crap.

Only has one gray eye because of his heterochromia.

Patton Fortier, son of Zeus:

Patton, reading up on his dad later the same day he was told he was the son of Zeus: please just one story where you're not an asshole cmon please ffs I'm begging.

He does find exactly one but it's not very comforting compared to everything else he's ever done. Whenever he hears about something bad Zeus has done hes just like "that's what I thought you'd say you dumb fucking dad!"

Loves that he can fly and sometimes uses his weather control ability to literally brighten up his friends' cloudy day. Sometimes his emotions get out of control and the weather around him changes accordingly.

Doesn't really like the lightning powers but uses them if he thinks it can help. They feel kinda weird, like no one should have the power to zap something with a bolt of electricity. Like maybe the fact that Zeus can do it whenever he wants to whoever he wants no matter where they are with absolutely no repercussions is part of why he's such a jerk.

Is too shy to say so but thinks the Gods should maybe be held accountable if they're gonna control the entire planet because there are innocent people getting fucked over because the gods are acting like bratty children.

Logan Roux, Son of Ares:

Thinks his siblings are annoyingly hot headed and thick skulled, and prefers the war strategy side of his father's namesake.

However he is still a child of Ares and he has some issues controlling his temper, which in turn makes everyone around him have the same problem because of his demigod aura of war.

When he really loses his cool he goes full rage mode and destroys everything in his path. This type of anger doesn't happen often because he tends to control and even repress his anger and only has really big outbursts very rarely. It's usually because someone was mean to Patton or Virgil.

Hangs out at the Athena cabin more than his own because Ares children are exhausting to deal with. However not all Athena children are a dream either. Ethan for example, annoys him to no end.

Is really fucking buff without really trying. He loves it even if he acts like he doesn't really care.

Tries to avoid strong emotions in general to try and contain his outbursts.

Emile Picani, Satyr:

Remy's childhood friend, has brought him to camp as soon as possible once his scent started manifesting.

His first official mission though, was Virgil. He got to experience accidental necromancy first hand and help the young demigod fight off a bunch of zombies so he could calm down and undo the spell.

On his next mission, Remy insisted to join and they helped Patton fight a monster. It's a good thing Remy was there because Patton had no intention of killing the monster. He couldn't bring himself to hurt a living being.

After that they get back to camp and introduce Patton to everyone and he immediately gets claimed and everyone is like "fuck!" and he's like what happened?

Emile sighs tiredly. "this is gonna be a long summer..."

[arreisstorm]

HAPPY SUGA DAY!

Disclaimer:

****I meant to get this post up on Yoongi's actual birthday but due to Tumblr completely deleting my first draft and having to deal with some crap at work, I haven't really been in my right mind to do so, so unfortunately I wasn't able to get it done in time. Even if it's a little late I hope you guys still enjoy this post!****

So I've been thinking all day what I can say about Min Yoongi that I haven't said already and sadly I'm drawing a blank.

 I think everyone knows by now how, underneath that hard and standoff-ish exterior, Yoongi is truly one of the sweetest, most caring members in BTS.

 He may be the designated "grandpa" but he can give Jin a run for his money as the "mom" of the group with the way he dotes on every single member in his own way. So instead of me doing a long winded post that loses it train of thought a million times I think I'll expand on how much Yoongi truly loves his brothers:

▪JIN

So when it comes to the relationship these two share, "opposites attract" is the best way I could describe it. While one is outgoing and loud, the other is more reserved and quiet. This duo loves to annoy each other and you can see that every time Jin cracks a face-palm inducing dad joke, and vice versa whenever Yoongi makes fun of Jin for his "old" age. I mean it's obvious to ARMY by now how extra Jin can be at times, but even through all the cringe-worthy moments and  second-hand embarrassment, at the end of the day, Yoongi still has great appreciation and respect for him.

▪JIMIN

Like Jin and Yoongi, Jimin and Yoongi are also quite opposites when it comes to their outlook on life. Where Jimin sees positivity, Yoongi is more about realism. It's not that he doesn't want to see the world as a happy place, but he also doesn't want to be blind to the truth either. That's why these two work so well together, one is the lifts the other up while the other protects them from harm.

▪TAEHYUNG

It's no secret that Tae marches to the beat of his own drum, but it is because of this fact that Yoongi finds him so endearing. During an episode of BV the two were partnered up to spend time together and even when everyone else said they would never agree on anything, Yoongi had the perfect solution. He cares a lot for Tae and he knows how hard the past few years have been for him after losing precious loved ones, so he's kind of been the one looking out for him behind the scenes.

▪JUNGKOOK

When it comes to emotional vulnerability, I would say Kookie and Yoongi are two peas in a pod. Neither one chooses to wear their hearts on their sleeves, but on the rare occassions when they do, you can guarantee you will find yourself crying along with them. There's a lot of pressure and uncertainty that goes alongside being the maknae of the group, and even more so when you're the golden maknae, and that's why I think Yoongi has taken it upon himself to help shoulder those burdens by taking care of him. Whether it's sticking up for him, encouraging him, or simply offering to buy him a proper meal, Yoongi has always been a great hyung to Kookie. And who could forget the iconic moment of "Friendship is Irish Bomb"? Haha

▪HOSEOK

Ok, so there's a lot with this relationship. We have day meets night, dark meets light, and cynicism meets positivity. These two contrast so much but still connect on the same level in countless other ways. Both are 2/3 that form one of the best raplines I've ever seen. Both are very passionate about what they do (J-Hope: dance, Yoongi: music) and they have worked their butts off to reached the point they're at now. Because Yoongi is such a realist, he is constantly overwhelmed with the state of the world, and he desperately needs to see the happier side that he might be missing...that's where Hobi comes in. There's a reason he was given the nickname he was given, he provides everyone around him with hope and happiness when they need it most, and that especially applies to Yoongi.

 When you constantly find yourself in the limelight it can be hard not to lose yourself within it. You might even forget your sense of self and instead be reduced to nothing more than a preconception told from a cameras perspective; that's when friends are the best cure, and Hobi just so happens to be that friend. These two are important for one another because whenever they're together it seems to be nothing but laughs and genuine smiles. They are carefree and able to be themselves around each other. To have that sense of freedom is probably a rare occasion for BTS in general, but even more so for the one who's know to be the "cold-hearted" and I'm happy he can find it with Hobi.

▪NAMJOON

Finally we have these two: Namjoon and Yoongi.

I've decided to save this one for last because to me they have a bond that completely differs from all others previously mentioned. These two have known each other the longest, have lived together the longest, and have seen each other at their worst points. Before debuting these two would fight constantly, both due to genuine disagreements, and also because of the countless hardships and pressure they had thrown at them. They have grown with each other and have been there to strengthen each other every step of the way.

Yoongi might not be one to express his feelings so openly, but every time I see the clip of him crying with Joon after receiving their first MAMA award It's obvious how much he does care and how much this all means to him.

To be honest, Yoongi never fails to show his love and support whenever his brothers are feeling down, and that especially goes for Joon. With him being the leader of BTS there is so much added pressure and expectations to live up to that it can be overwhelming, and on top of all of it, being the designated translator, writing and producing most of BTS' songs, and also trying to learn the choreography to go along with said song can seem next to impossible; Yoongi sees these struggles and he does all he can to help lessen the weight.

These two honestly do share one of the most profound bonds and I believe nothing could severe it completely. They might still have their fights, I mean they're human, it's bound to happen, but the respect and admiration they have for one another wins out every time.

As much as they love each other, these two also love to screw with each other too. Yoongi constantly makes fun of Joon for his clumsiness and Joon makes fun of Yoongi for his laziness, but in the end these two wouldn't be who they are without the other.

Yoongi once said in an interview that Joon is one of his favorite people he's ever met and if he had to pick a person to spend his last day with he would pick him. Then Joon in a different interview mentioned how Yoongi is basically his mirror and he takes care of the thing that Joon is unable to. These two compliment each other so well, and musically speaking, their backgrounds come from very similar places that they just know how the other runs. If Hobi allows Yoongi to act himself and to let loose physically, then Joon is his emotional release. They know how to have those deep heart-to-heart conversation without worrying what the other might think. Yoongi is able to use his words and is able to open up to Joon about any doubts, fear, or anxiety he might be struggling with, as well as using them to provide Joon with the assurance he needs that he is doing a good job as the leader; and in return, Joon gives Yoongi that sense of comfort and stability whenever he needs it.

Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon.

Yoonie and Joonie.

Suga and RM.

AGUST D and Rap Monster.

Lil Meow Meow and Killer Dimples.

These boys are one in the same: two overall geniuses who started as underground rappers possessing skills of insane flow and destructive lyrics, then forced to become idols, who eventually helped redefined what idols are, and now are global superstars that have created the golden rapline (with Hobi), are living their wildest dreams yet still remain humble, as well as unapologetic about incorporation crucial social topics into their songs.

There's a reason these two get along so well and that's because of years of being around each other, having the same deep, philosophical thought process, and knowing that hard work, sleepless nights, and finding growth within personal struggles are what it takes to reach your ultimate goal.

The point is, if you're still with me that is haha, is that Suga tends to have this reputation that he is cold-hearted and aloof when it comes to the rest of the members, but honestly who wouldn't be exhausted and not wanting to participate in different events after having not slept for days on end and pouring their blood, sweat, tears (not intentional btw) into their creations?! Suga is one of the hardest working, passionate, individuals out there and if he didn't sacrifice so much for us, far beyond what this post can tell you, then BTS would not exist the way we know it now. It because he is willing to put his own health and well-being on hold --despite ARMY and the boys wishes-- and take on this almost altruistic behavior that I have so much respect and admiration for Yoongi. And anyone who says that this man is cold or that he hates his members...Have you not seen this man's precious, gummy smile when he's having the time of his life with his favorite people? There's a reason he chose to call himself "Suga" and that's because underneath that hard outer shell, deep down Min Yoongi is nothing but pure sweetness who isn't afraid to dream big and wants to see those he loves succeed to their fullest potential.

He is our resident grandpa, a musical genuis, and can spit fire while roasting people with the highest level of savageness you can achieve. He is the 2nd oldest, the hyung who tends to show his love when the cameras aren't rolling, and he is the backbone of BTS who slaves away in the recording studio to produce these insane tracks we all love so much. He is the only one that I've noticed who mirrors and compliments Namjoon's own thoughts and feelings and he is a huge reason why BTS has been so successful like they are.

We love you

Min Yoongi

Suga

AGUST D

Lil Meow Meow

Grandpa Yoongs

I hope you had a great birthday and thank you for everything you have done for BTS in the past, everything you're doing in the present, and everything you will do in the future. You are one of my biggest inspirations and I wish you all the best!

화이팅! 💜

[captain-azoren]

The comics do still have a few good bits.

I feel like citing The Beach would be a little too obvious. Same with the mirror scene.

I suppose one thing I've been thinking about is how Azula may have a kind of unspoken resentment or at least envy towards people who can get attention or adoration with little to no effort.

Zuko having Ursa and Iroh's love is the most obvious, but you also have Ty Lee and Mai getting attention from boys just for existing, and in Mai's case it's almost in spite of her general disinterest.

I don't think it's just that Azula craves and is desperate for love. I think she believes that love is something that needs to be earned. Maybe conditional in her mind, but she believes she needs to meet certain requirements to gain it, and that it's unfair that others can just get it without even trying. Even when it comes to simple socializing, it seems like Azula is putting in more effort.

I believe Azula feels a very deep frustration that she continually has to go above and beyond to earn what little love she gets from her father, but at the same time she's been conditioned to believe that this is how it should be. She believes that everyone else doesn't deserve the love they're getting, but she can take pride in knowing the love her father gives her in genuine because she earned it fair and square...until it becomes clear that love wasn't really love at all.

Deeper than that, I think Azula thinks of herself as a monster because she's never felt unconditional love, the kind of love that "normal" people come by and share so easily. If she were really normal, then why hasn't anyone treated her the same way?

It's somewhat related to the whole might makes right mentality of the Fire Nation, and shows how warped it can get. It think it also relates to the Trust vs. Fear dilemma, in a way.

This part is harder for me to articulate, but if Azula believes she has to earn love through accomplishments, she doesn't believe trust is something that can just be given for free. It becomes conditional too.

Trust also means giving up a certain amount of control because you expect someone to do what you want or ask of them, and Azula simply can't let go of that control. It's unfair, but she believes that people WILL always turn on her. It's not like anyone had show her unconditional love anyway so using fear becomes her way of guaranteeing those around her at least don't try to hurt her.

"Trust is for fools, fear is the only reliable way" isn't just generic villain dialogue, that is what Azula sincerely believes from everything she's been through, regardless of how fair or unfair that is.

What I think might be more accurate though would be if she said that she would be a fool to trust anyone, because no one had ever seemed to love her or given her a reason to trust them unconditionally.

Weirdly enough, it's what Guru Pathik tells Appa that really seems to resonate with Azula, that fear has moved in where love should be. Azula craves love, but she's too afraid to allow herself to trust anyone. She believes that everyone will hurt her if she let's herself be vulnerable. Azula uses fear to control others so that they won't turn on her, leave her, or hurt her, much in the same way that her accomplishments earn her approval from her father.

Azula needs to have control to feel safe and to have some semblance of love, because she doesn't believe or trust others to simply give that without reason. Azula doesn't believe anyone could love her just for her. If people won't love her, she has to at least make them fear her. Otherwise, she has nothing.

What can be gleaned about Azula in those moments when her mask slips?

One of the most fascinating things about Azula is that underneath her carefully maintained persona of perfection and invincibility lies a real human being.

So let's talk about that person under the façade.

But first, I have a favor to ask.

As we delve into this, can we focus on Azula? Can we not turn this exploration into blaming or pointing fingers at Zuko, Ursa, Iroh, Ozai, Bryke, or Gene Yang? While it's undeniable that the people in Azula's life have shaped who she is, I don't like making everything that Azula is entirely about them. She's a rich, layered, complex character in her own right, and I want to put my energy into that. By the same token, we have no control over what the showrunners and writers do, so I'd rather focus on the treasure of a character we have in Azula than in their shortcomings as storytellers and worldbuilders.

With that in mind, I'll get started.

There's a moment in the comics—yeah yeah boo hiss—there's an interaction Azula has with "Noriko" (Ursa who's been facebended and memorybended) that's very intriguing because it offers a sliver of what's going on beneath the surface with Azula. I'm not going to rehash the plot of The Search, but let's zero in on this part right here.

There's a lot of meaning packed into these two frames, but let's unpack what they reveal about Azula that we haven't been privy to before.

So, in the first frame, "Noriko" has just watched this kid she just met earlier that day (as far as she knows) break into her home, terrorize her family, threaten her life, and rave at her about plotting against her. And the thing that "Noriko" immediately understands is that Azula is an unloved child.

I'm not talking about a lack of warm, fuzzy feelings, OK? That's love as a noun. I'm talking about love as a verb. "Noriko" instantly recognizes that Azula was not nurtured, guided, and protected the way she needed and needs to be. Azula is a child who was not cared for properly.

Now, what's really interesting is how Azula reacts. Based on popular fandom takes about her, you'd think she'd brush it off or sling fire and insults at "Noriko." But that's not what happens. This tiny gesture of genuine care from someone who's practically a stranger brings Azula up short, stops her in her tracks, and utterly breaks her resolve to harm "Noriko." Despite Azula's capacity for cruelty and violence on full display in this scene, she instantly turns away from her murderous resolve the second she receives this infinitesimal gesture. It's nowhere near enough to make up for what she lacked growing up, yet it has such a powerful effect on how she behaves.

This suggests an answer to one of the perplexing questions about Azula: How do you get through to her? It's so simple. The answer is love. It wouldn't take a grand gesture. What "Noriko" does here is so, so small and simple. That's literally all it would take. And it's so, so sad that no one has bothered to try.

What about you? What are some moments that make you realize that there's more to Azula?

[velvetroom--imagines]

Ryuji, Akira, Minato and Yu's headcanons when they see their crush's awakening their personas and wanting to become one of them. How would they treat them in the Metaverse? Maybe Small scenes of confessions when crush is hurt, because they're so worried? Thank you

Ahh, this are the type of asks I really like, especially if it interferes or has something to do with the plot. Thank you! I wasn’t sure about Minato and Yu’s since they were from a different game, so I will be writing it in their own dungeons like the ‘TV World’ or ‘Tartarus’. 

“Let me Join You.”

Akira Kurusu

It was accidental. You weren’t supposed to be here, he thought. If there was anything Akira was afraid of, it would be the fact that his specific other had strolled into the deep into Mementos, alone. In all honesty, he hadn’t noticed your presence until Futaba noted that she felt a faint unrecognizable energy in one of the floors.

Prior to your awakening, Akira had already established a Confidant with you. You were a student, someone who only watched as things fell apart. Bystander was the word, but it wasn’t that you refused to do anything. It’s just that no matter what you did, no one would listen.

It was then when one day, you wanted to talk to Akira when they had suddenly opened an app and warped the whole world. To your surprise, you had found yourself in the Metaverse. Quietly, you trailed after the ‘Bus’ but had gotten lost along the way.

May God know how you managed to escape from the Shadows. You ran from the monsters for a time until you took a wrong turn and trapped yourself in a dead end. Luckily, from the corner of your eye, someone had come to your rescue.

The Phantom Thieves, right before your very eyes. Covering you, they didn’t let you in the sight of the enemy. Again, like always, you were just watching without being able to do anything. It wasn’t until you watched as the Shadow knocked everyone down, leaving Akira on his knees.  

“A-Akira!” You squaked, scrambling onto your feet. What could you do? Was there anything… you can do? Suddenly, you feel a pounding to your head, a voice echoing out to you.

“Finally, you’ve come to your senses and have broken out of little cage. I’m disappointed that it had taken this long.” Writhing on the floor, you felt a searing pain take place on your eyes. You felt blinded, and the urge to remove it was pulsing.

“Come now, let’s give them what they deserve! I am thou, thou art I…” Desperate, your hands made their way up to your mask, gripping the sides before ripping it off, the scent of iron hitting your nose. “Now, what do you plan to do?”

“No. I won’t stand and watch anymore.” You hissed, gripping the weapon given to you. You stood, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You smiled at the Phantom Thieves, ecstatic. “Come, let’s finish them!” 

Once the battle had come to a finish thanks to your new abilities, the Phantom Thieves approached you. Akira came into view, glancing at your wounds with concern. “S/O, are you alright?” 

He had that soft spot foryou, and seeing those scars made him wince. He didn’t hesitate to take off his gloves to brush his hands along them, checking how severe they were. “Next time, don’t enter places that look shady.”

Shaking your head, you smiled at him. “It’s okay. I actually want to continue entering shady places if it’s for the greater good.” Akira would always be captivated by how sweet and compassionate you are, why would he deny your request?

Akira smirked at you, holding out his hand for you to take. “Consider yourself a Phantom Thief, my dear.” A confession wasn’t even needed at this point, really. He’d flirt his way into your heart until it becomes clear that he isn’t going to stop.

Battles are actually very convenient. At moments when he asks you steal something or whenever you jump to avoid enemy attacks, Akira would always catch you. Literally, most times, you fall right into his arms. He’d smirk, unwilling to let you go. “I think you belong here. Don’t worry, you can pay the rent through kisses.”

Whenever you get wounded, Akira would always place himself in front of you. His cheeky demeanor would fall whenever your life is as stake. If you get seriously damaged, he won’t show mercy to the Shadows that hurt you then tend to your every beck and call.

Expect Akira to drag you into Mementos for ‘training sessions’. Sometimes they get heated after battles. Imagine Akira taking your hand and attempt to seduce you out of the heat of passion. “If you beat the next one by yourself, your efforts will be rewarded.” 

Rewarded? Pfft, he ends up taking you for a Mega-Burger Challenge. Gotta get your stats up after all.

Bonus; There was a time when Akira accidentally dismissed an ability your Persona had, and now he desperately needed it. You were awfully confused when he had taken you to Church. 

“Akira, why are you asking me to confess my sins?” 

“You can kneel before me later. Please do a confession. I really need that Salvation move.”

Ryuji Sakomoto

Ryuji was horrified once he discovered that you, out of all people, had been following the Thieves into Madarame’s Palace. Ever since the two of you had met, he has had this urge to protect you. 

Geez, this guy isn’t willing to even let someone lay a finger on you. You were always quiet and lenient towards Kamoshida’s advances. While Ryuji would bark at the man, you couldn’t avoid the harassment. Your silence and submissive decisions made it clear that you couldn’t stand up for youself.

One of the reasons he wanted to destroy Kamoshida so badly was to protect you. When you displayed your surprise when Kamoshida turned himself in, your friend simply grinned victoriously. You knew something was up, and Ryuji was involved.

For the past days, Ryuji was nowhere to be seen. You’ve heard whispers that he has been sen at an Art Museum, but as far as you knew, Ryuji would’ve left the place since it felt too boring. Eventually, you decided to follow him, trailing him to the house of Madarame.

You weren’t too surprised when you found out they were the Phantom Thieves. Curiosity got the better of you, leading you to watch from afar. It wasn’t until you got lost, and found yourself curled against an artifact. 

Suddenly you felt a chill run down your back, noticing a dark figure standing behind you. You desperately didn’t want to look behind you, but you ended up doing so.

Ryuji always recognized that scream. It was too familiar, and it was certain it belonged to you. On instinct, he ran off and followed the sound. That was when he had found you backed against a wall, a Shadow looming over you with dark intentions.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” He yelled, immediately catching the shadow’s attention. Grinning darkly, it’s attention diverted towards the Phantom Thieves, bigger lives aching to be destroyed. 

“S/O! Stay back!” Ryuji yelled, unable to notice that the Shadow was inches away from attacking him. Before you can yell out a warning, it was already too late. Before you knew it, the Phantom Thieves were struggling and low on health. 

It won’t be long until they are defeated.

“Is this how it will end?” A voice echoed within you, sending painful tremors through your head. Clutching your hair, you collapsed onto your knees. “Are you going to simply watch them fall apart? You can do better than that, don’t you think?”  

Ryuji watched as you thrashed around in your position, fearful for your safety. Drool spilled from your lips, foaming out. “Mercy? Don’t be foolish. Being nice will never get you anywhere in life, dear. Let’s seal the deal, right here, right now. I am thou, thou art I...”

It all flashed before your eyes. You were always being protected, always being shielded against others. Never had you fought back, and it was always Ryuji who took the blow for you. Not anymore, not this time. “That’s right! Wreak havoc upon your foes! Destroy them!”

Weapon in hand, you grinned widely at the Shadow. “Thank you, Ryuji. You have always protected me from the dangers of this world.” You looked at your friend, smiling gently. “Let me return the favor.”

Ryuji was frozen in awe, too lovestruck to even protest. He watches as you land a blow on the Shadow, amazed by how powerful you can be when agitated. Getting up himself, he runs to your side with a matching smile. “Come on, S/O! Let’s finish this!”

At the end of the battle, he finally approaches you with an upset expression. “S/O, be careful next time. If we didn’t find you, who knows what could’ve happened to you...” Without any hesitation, he takes your hand.

“I really don’t wanna lose you, you’re everything to me.” His eyes widened in realization, only registering the words that flew out of his mouth. A faint blush glazed over your cheeks.

“Is this your way of saying you love me?” You asked, noticing the matching red shade on Ryuji’s face. He groans, already foreseeing his rejection. “Yeah, but it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way--” 

His words were cut off by a swift kiss to the cheek. Frozen in his spot, he blinks in confusion. You laugh softly before jumping onto his back, burying your head into his neck. “Thank you for protecting me, my knight.”

In battle, rather than protecting you, he tries to fight alongside you instead. He tries to sync his movements along yours, both creating flashy attacks. You would attack first, then suddenly he runs straight into the Shadow from behind to give it the final blow. 

Just be careful when you get struck down, Ryuji will show no mercy. If you’re still hurt, he won’t mind carrying you until the next safe room. Even in the Metaverse, he’s still the sweet guy we all know and love.

Yu Narukami

It was another night, and Yu already had a feeling about his next target. It was a bit too obvious when a familiar face appeared on TV, questioned about the mysterious Inaba Murders. He felt sick to his stomach, hoping that it wouldn’t be you and your appearance on the news was just a coincidence.

When the TV turned on, Yu couldn’t help but blush at the sight. You were dressed in an exposing white attire, pure. Behind your figure was a brightly colorful background of endless artifacts and paintings. 

“Hello dear viewers! Today’s program is the pre-showcase of this painfully bright museum! Gah, it disgusts me how much color this around.” Posing inappropriately, you smiled at the camera. “We can’t have that. I’m supposed to be the Number 1 Artifact there is! My name is S/O, and you shall witness me tear down these walls into a pure white shade!” 

Yu furrowed his brows with confusion. Were you planning to repaint the whole museum white? Grinning mischeviously, you leaned in closer towards the camera. “Once we are finished, you shall witness this Museum’s greatest and only exhibit. Of course, it won’t be ready until I get rid of everything else! Until next time!” The screen fades out as your Shadow takes out a bat, smashing a colorful vase. 

Yu was very flustered during the meeting the next day. “No questions, we’re going into the TV World today.” “Yu, aren’t you being a little too worked up?”

He wastes no time working through your dungeon. It was a colorful museum with paintings and artifacts scattered and torn apart. The rooms were covered with white paint, attempts to cover up it’s vibrant and eye catching wallpaper. It was a hunch, but Yu suspected that your Shadow was a manifestation of a desire to feel special. 

His conclusion was right once he made it to the final floor. It was an art studio, and your Shadow stood before you. Paint was ready, scattered and thrown along the floor. “No! This isn’t right. It must be beautiful– I must be beautiful!” 

Yu’s heart hardened at the sight of you on the floor, teary-eyed and angry at your counterpart. “Please, stop it!” You cried out, refusing to look at your own reflection.

“Oh please. Do you really think I’m happy with out plain I look?” Your Shadow asked in a dark tone before chuckling. “My friends are so colorful. They’re so smart, so pretty, so… eye catching.” Rolling it’s eyes, your Shadow snorted. “Then there’s me, little boring me. I tried everything, you know. I joined clubs, studied hard and all, but did I get any praise? No!”

Disgust flashed over your Shadow’s face, glaring at it’s human counterpart. “I’m so sick of it. I’m sick and tired of being average! All the crap about everyone being special, lies! It’s all lies!” 

“N-No… You’re not me.” You said in a hoarse whisper, collapsing in defeat as your Shadow grinned widely, warping into an unrecognizable form. Yu gripped his blade tightly, ready to summon his persona.

“I am the Shadow, the True Self! Come, let us paint this lonely canvas with your demise!” 

Yu found it hard to fight your Shadow. It made him feel terrible to know that the one he held feelings for would have such a distorted view. Yet, this only gives him a better motivation to fight, to free you from your sadness.  

Once your Shadow had been defeated, you sighed and got up on your feet. “Disgusting, isn’t it? You probably dislike me now for that side of me.” To your surprise, Yu shakes his head in disagreement. “Even with your flaws, you’re still the same person I fell in love with.”

Glancing at your shadow, you nodded in acceptance. It faded into air, giving you a glimpse of a figure you would soon call your Persona.  

Just before collapsing from exhaustion, a faint smile rose upon your lips. “Thank you, Yu.” Even your tiredness couldn’t hide away the pink shade of your cheeks.

Once you had become accustomed to the Investigation, nothing really changes in battle. Every now and then, Yu would try to catch you off guard in battle by sending small flirtatious comments your way. It grosses the team out, but it always found a way to make you smile. 

“You know, I wouldn’t mind if you were feisty when we are alone–”

“EWW, SAVE IT FOR THE BEDROOM!” -Yosuke Hanamura

Minato Arisato 

Minato was always certain to make sure you didn’t catch onto his late night missions. Everytime you asked to stay overnight, he tried to make sure it doesn’t interfere with his little visits to Tartarus. He would always send you home, no questions asked.

He always did appear stone cold in front of his teammates, at least until he heard a piercing scream in Tartarus. It was very familiar to his ears, causing his never-changing expression to falter in terror. Running past the hallways, he finally made it to a corner where a Shadow stood threateningly. Behind it was a small figure curled against the wall, eyes filled with fright.

“S/O?!” Beckoning his team over, he calmly charged for battle. Unluckily for him, this specific monster managed to land critical hits on the team. Minato fell onto his butt, groaning in discomfort. His evoker had been thrown against the wall from impact, as the shadow approached him with interest.

“S/O… run.” He whispered, praying that Fuuka had already contacted backup. You weren’t moving away, instead taking the gun in a shaky grip. His eyes narrow with seriousness. “S/O, just get out of here!”

You ignored his desperate pleas. Placing the gun to your head, your eyes remained fixed on Minato who lay helpless on the floor. At that moment, you knew what you had to do. Even if it means to meet Death itself, you were willing to throw it all away to save him. 

“Persona!”

His vision was blurry, but he could already make out the small figure from your back. Grinning madly, you gestured your hand forward towards the shadow that stood menacingly before the boy. “Megidolaon!” You cried out, a shining light eradicating your enemies.

Minato was astounded once he figured out that you had the potential. Once he gets back up on his feet, he immediately grabs your wrist. Was he angry? Furious? Scared? Who knew? Minato couldn’t bring himself to yell or scold you for doing something so risky. Hissing to himself, he lets go of you. “Let’s go back to base for now.” 

After that encounter, Minato quietly protested against you joining SEES. To fight against shadows, one must accept the possibility of dying. He certainly did not want you to fall to such a fate. However, after multiple meetings, Mitsuru welcomed you to the team with open arms.

For the first few missions with you, Minato becomes a bit too protective. He’s the Battle Leader, isn’t he? He would mostly leave you out of battles until you start to persist him to do so. To avoid any disputes with Mitsuru or Yukari, he gives in.

Even in battle, he is still hesitant to let you fight. Minato was mature enough to let you fight on your own accord, but was always pulling back at the slightest hint of danger. He would always cast Diarama whenever you were hurt, just to keep your safe. 

Due to the fact that he is responsible for your life, he ceases all his plans on asking you out. Letting his love evolve will not help in the field of battle. Subtly, he still shows his affection in different ways. He often takes blows for you in battles, and heals you once they are over. 

Boy, his confession for you was on complete accident. It was when a Succubus cast a ‘Marin Karin’ spell on him. With a faint blush on his face, he swung his blade at you as you dodged. “Tartarus is full of dangers. I must end your life before the shadows do!” He growled, seemingly irritated at each miss. 

“Snap out of it, Minato!” You cried out, already growing tired at each attempt. It wasn’t long until you tripped over your own feet, back against the floor. Delighted by the action, the Leader straddled you while raising his sword up high.

“I’m doing this because I love you, please understand that.” Just as he was about to land the final blow, you snapped at his words. “What?!” You squeaked in surprise, your hand immediately flying upwards to smack his cheek.

His eyes snapped back to their original calm hue, brought out of his delirium. “S/O?” Scrambling off you, he had a horrified and embarrassed expression on his face. 

By the moment the battle was over, you dragged Minato to a secluded area in the building. He wanted to escape and hide his face in shame for what he had done, but you weren’t going to let him escape. “Did you mean it when you said you loved me? Was that why you didn’t want me to fight?”

He remained silent. Minato didn’t know how to answer your question, torn between tell you and keeping silent. After a more moments of silence, you were about to turn around and leave before he grabs a hold of your wrist, pulling you into his embrace.

“So what if I do? What are you planning to do with that information?”