#simple task

[stormyweirdo]

My favourite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say No while doing it

[a-ladyofwar]

I just started Starstruck Odyssey, the intrepid heroes have made at least 3 god awful decisions accompanied by hilariously terrible rolls that have/will seriously alter future events and I’m not even halfway through episode 4? This might actually be my favorite campaign now

[joenateuser]

Dylan Efron | Can’t speak well but I smell good (via instagram)

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request Alucard/Adrian with a s/o who's a polymath (she's a writer, an inventor, a spokeswoman, a scientist, etc.)?

"I don't know how you stand being with them." Alucard turned to look at Trevor. Confused by his unwarranted incredulous thought. "How can you stand being with someone so...perfect?"

The dhampir shrugged. "They aren't perfect."

"Damn near." Trevor countered. "I mean, I get it. Sypha is way smarter than me. But to have them be better at everything than you? That just sounds rough."

"There are bowls of fruit that are smarter than you Belmont." Alucard retorted. "And, they aren't better at everything."

"Name one thing."

"Dinner is ready!"

As if on cue, [Y/N] came into the room with a big smile and a big pot. Trevor saw Alucard straighten his shoulders. Steeling himself, in a way, and he couldn't understand why. Then, when the pot of what he assumed was .....soup?...was sat down in front of him, he could understand why. "Good gods...."

"Thank you darling. Could you get us some napkins please?"

"Sure!" [Y/N] beamed at Alucard before flittering off to get some. After dishing out the 'soup' of course.

"What the hell's even is this? Is that a fish head?!"

"They said something about making a roast earlier." Trevor's head whipped around as they watched the half-vampire poke at some manner of vegetable with a stoic look. Particularly stoic given that it looked like it could bite back. "I guess it went awry."

"I can't eat this. I don't think I could survive it."

"Hmmm.... it's a possibility. I've had a few close calls. Your human constitution may not make it."

"How did this even happen?? I mean...they can nearly do alchemy and handle your science magic. They make medicine! How can they fuck up a soup??"

"Ours is not to question why."

Trevor rubbed his face. Partly out of frustration. Partly to hide the look of it and smell. "You're not really going to eat this are you? I mean...you guys are messing with me, right."

"I can assure you they are not."

"And you're really going to eat this? Like, seriously?" Alucard picked up his spoon and seemed intent to do just that. "Why??"

"Because they try."

Trevor was surprised by the comment. Then he felt like a real heel. Someone had gone through all the work of making him food and he was complaining about it. How quickly he forgot about those days of hunger outside their company. They tried. He should at least try what they made in return.

Picking up his spoon as well, Trevor looked at the bowl and said a little prayer to all the saints he could remember. "It helps if you don't look directly at it." Alucard commented. Before they both tucked in and hoped (prayed) for the best.

[aerequets]

when I'm pissed at my groupmates so I start punctuating my texts

[fairycosmos]

i hate how 1 task is actually 100 micro tasks

[hmsdoodlin]

(107) Someone get this guy a glass of water or something

[rusty-courage]

by the way if you're at twitchcon and you haven't gotten a secret task from me yet come find me tomorrow!! I've been doing secret tasks and giving prizes if you complete them; I got a little overwhelmed at how many people were at the panel so I didn't do any while I was there but I still have plenty to go!

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

If you beautiful children of nature ever feel stupid, just remember that I once brushed my teeth THREE TIMES in one night because I kept forgetting whether I already did or not.

[theshadowrealmitself]

Just a reminder to anyone with kids, your small children do not have the same basis for things that you do! There’s a good chance they aren’t trying to be rebellious, they just simply have no idea what you’re telling them!!

When I was small, I used to get in trouble all the time for not “walking in the crosswalk”, I had no fucking idea what a crosswalk was, the lines on the ground didn’t stick out at me, and when I tried to walk right by the adults because surely being right next to them would be the right answer, it put me outside the lines and just upset them further (also going nonverbal when stressed and having a face that doesn’t properly show emotion didn’t help me out)

If you tell your kid to do something that seems really easy to do to you, and they don’t listen, try phrasing it in a different way, instead of “walk in the crosswalk”, try pointing out the two lines on the ground, and let them know to walk in between those lines!

(Separate from the crosswalk thing, but also sometimes if it seems like your kid is being rebellious for “no reason” and they have older siblings, just,, make sure their siblings didn’t prank them by giving them false information)

[dearrafayel]

rafayel is that one trope with the girl who goes “i can do it myself” and the boy goes “i know you can, but let me do it for you,” except instead of doing it for you he’s such a “i know you can, but let’s do it together.”

[stoicmike]

There is no task so simple that it cannot get complicated. -- Michael Lipsey

[pianokantzart]

Oh shut UP as if it's possible to get this far down any other way do you have any idea how tedious it is collecting enough rocks for 100 staircases???

[chthonic-cassandra]

Having this frustrating experience with my level of functioning right now that I can just barely manage within my rather rigid daily routine, but having anything to do outside of it overwhelms my capacities.

[assortedvillainvault]

Hello! Can I request Starscream with a reader who loves video games, especially older "retro" ones please?

Anon you have waited so long, please accept this humble word train of inconveivale proportions, becuase this went from 'haha Screamy vs tetris' to 'holy shit I can't stop typing-'

Starscream x RetroGamer!Reader

HA!

Such primitive, meagre entertainment. How can you engage in something barely even fit for newsparks??

Yeah, Starscream is waving his ‘technological-race superiority’ around again. You’ve long since learned to roll your eyes, tune him out and turn the tinny volume on your console to maximum just to annoy him.

For all that he snorts and rolls his optics and waxes lyrical about how his games were played in high-speed roulette 5D stratospheric-chess - or whatever - you don’t fail to smugly notice how his wings twitch in time with the music. (Don’t bring it up or he’ll screech about how he can’t get the bouncy little tunes out of his head at 3am. It’s not worth your eardrums.)

And when he DOES pay attention, he’s the kind to aggressively backseat drive.

What’s worse, is that after breathing down your neck and screeching at you to “Jump HIGHER-” (Mario Bros is a relationship tester), he’ll cluck his tongue and smarmily coo at your game over screen until you finally snap and shove the comparatively tiny controller in his face.

The affronted shock lasts a millisecond before he huffs and says such childish little things are beneath him. Obviously.

Your petty revenge is to chat obnoxiously loud to Knockout and spread a rumour on the Nemesis that the Mighty Commander Starscream is too outdated to try anything new, clearly, I mean he’s just so old-

- much screeching shouting and scratched paintjobs later, you find out that he’s simply downloaded the games into his brain and fully intended to not breathe a word to you about it apparently until you died. Prideful bastard.

He HAD intended to tell you, but only after he had gotten an impossibly high score to beat so he could rub it in your cute squishy face.

In a beautifully ironic twist of fate, being as advanced as cybertronians are, the highly simple nature of most retro games actually renders them incompatible, like trying to run a floppy disk through a hadron collider. So while yes Star can play tetris on his break, he cannot simply blitz the levels as expected and call it a day, because the old games have such simple parameters in comparison to how he usually operates.

So he has to actually play.

With no instructions because of course this high strung high maintenance metal bird could not possibly deign to ask you how to play first. That would be demeaning. And he won’t google it either.

You can sit in smug, satisfied peace as you watch him slowly tick through several layers of frustration: wings twitching, claws tapping, optics whizzing to focus on platforms and little 8 bit enemies you can’t see.

But Starscream is still the Second in Command of the Decepticons. And the Decepticons have very stringent security measures.

Soundwave fucking manifesting outside your window one evening was enough to have you pray to every god you’ve ever heard of. Inscrutable, all knowing fucking Soundwave. You regret every conversation you’ve ever had on the Nemesis, oh god your house is probably bugged-

His face screen flickers to life. You blink, as a live stream of the Nemesis command deck appears.

You have, by dint of hanging around too much and a few close encounters with the Autobots, seen cybertronians on the battlefield before. It is nothing compared to the later levels of Pacman on the Nemesis bridge at 1 am.

Soundwaves inscrutable smiley face emoji pings your phone, almong with a simple, translated glyph.

“More? :)”

PS-

Soundwave is Pacman god. Knockout has a soft spot for the Mario games. Starscream fucking loves Galaxian and will die before he ever tells you this. Shockwave, logically, finds Tetris soothing.

Megatron plays pong on his throne sometimes when his usual brooding gives way to inevitable drug induced boredom. It spaces his eyes out to either side nearly completely. Starscream has screenshots of his gormless mug taped to his hab wall to shoot on occasion.