#simon talks about dragon age

[simonjadis]

corinne busche, john epler, and matt rhodes did a Q&A on discord for Dragon Age: The Veilguard

I'm working but I did a thread on some highlights that I heard. I'm simonjadis on bluesky too ofc

[blujaydoodles]

Mistletoe!! Simon goes for a courtly hand kiss ('I saw this in a book once, I think this is how it's done'), and Nyssa's trying for an Infinite Kisses hack by wearing the mistletoe as a flower crown

[tuxedo-rabbit]

UM?

Simon is not romancing Anders???

[intothedysphoria]

Steve wasn’t sure which was worse. That the nightmares had started again or that Dustin had developed an obsession with Simon and Garfunkel.

Things had consistently been off since 1983 but they’d quickly gotten far, far worse since their latest trip to The Upside Down.

Dustin had brought back an eel. At least Steve thought it was an eel. He hoped it was an eel.

It was in a glass tank above Dustins bed, it had a foul temper and ever since it had entered Hawkins, strange and awful things had started happening to Neil Hargrove.

Steve didn’t feel sorry for the man, he was an asshole.

It was the fruit going bad after two hours on the shelf he was concerned about. The scorch marks on the grass. The nightmares.

It was always the same. There was a boy his age, with golden hair, running through a field. He’d fall deep into a well then Steve would wake up.

The boys name was Billy. Steve wasn’t sure how he knew this. He just did.

The eel started to grow. It had a particular fondness for Cherry Coke and Max for some reason. Why Dustin was feeding it Cherry Coke, Steve had no idea.

The day the eel got too big for its cage was the day Steve had a genuine fear of reliving the Dart situation.

Of course, that coincided with the nightmares getting worse. Well, some of them included him having sex with Billy, so maybe he was having a sexuality crisis. It wouldn’t be the first time.

The well continued to plague his dreams as well. Deep and cavernous, it swallowed Steve time and time again.

There was only one thing for it. Steve was going to talk to the eel.

Maybe dragon was more apt at that point. The eel had grown ten times overnight and stared at him from a roof with clear blue eyes.

Billy’s eyes.

The dreams shifted after that. Billy started talking to him. Really talking to him.

He was eighteen years old, he was Max’s missing older brother and he’d fallen into a cursed well. No he wasn’t really a dragon, no he wasn’t a demogorgon and yes, he was gay.

He gave this delicious little wink to Steve before the dream shattered apart.

Of course the well was a fucking portal to The Upside Down. Steve had no idea what exactly had happened to Billy but he borrowed every single folklore book from the library.

There didn’t seem to be an answer. At least not at first.

There was one book that said Billy needed to be faced with his greatest torment. Only then he could be free.

Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try.

Neil Hargrove wasn’t exactly smart. It hadn’t taken Steve much work to lure him out into the woods, just a few goads. Just enough to get to the hill that Billy had made his home (much to Dustin’s grumbling disappointment). He was also very loud

Billy took one look at Neil and ripped out his heart.

Then he collapsed, shimmering and shrinking as his body changed into something altogether more human than before.

The eighteen year old that lay before Steve was toned, with golden skin and hair and a tattoo of a skull on one arm.

He blinked at Steve, obviously dazed, then held out a weak hand and an obviously rehearsed smirk.

“Hey sexy, wanna go out sometime?”

Steve would not be held responsible for the tears that started to run down his cheeks.

They did go out. Eventually. Once Billy had healed.

And Steve only found the occasional dragon scale in the shower.

*Loosely based the Northumbrian folktale The Lampton Wyrm and I mean LOOSELY*

For @harringroveobsessed

[dracobrooklyn]

Call of Duty Recommending Writing.

These are my recommendations on these amazing COD x Reader or Oc x Cannon Writing. These are the best of the best :D Light on by @peachesofteal

Simon has a new neighbor. His new neighbor has a baby.

|| MDNI|| 18+

This anthology is just so damn beautiful, when I jumped into the COD x reader train this one was the first one, and I LOVE IT! the writing is so in character of Mister Simon Riley and by god, he still his grumpy self but still minds his manners towards the single mom reader with her baby <3. The relationship between Simon and the neighbor is a slow burn romance and by god it's so good, the way he is soft towards her. Fighting his feelings but letting them go. How he treats the little baby, as if he was father the whole time, god damn it, it's so sweet. There is very much Smut in this, the kinks are just fabulous. I will not spoil much but please read read!! Worth the love and the time spent onto this!!

FATUM NOS IUNGEBIT by @kneelingshadowsalome || MDNI || 18+

{Historical AU. Roman Auxilia soldier!König with his spoils of war gf. Slow burn, romance, violence, fluff, eventual smut, 18+}

König x F!Reader | The soldiers behind him shift with lust – their gear clinks as they devour you with unbridled hunger. The Titan is the only one who looks at you like you’re simply a cute little squirrel who happened to fall from a tree right there at his feet. Then his eyes drop to your breasts, and the familiar hunger that lives in men gives the ocean of his eyes a clouded look. When his stare finds yours again, he's a different man: the treacherous beast of your dreams.

Man on Man... where do I start with this. This is a four Part Story so there is more slow burn romance to eat. Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, and Dessert. The writing in this is so good! It's the right amount of character development, the way they use the language barrier in this is so creative and fun! Konig in this is just a treat, brash but loving, he's a man, course he's not gonna be a total prince charming. His interactions with the reader is very spicy and also sweet. The detail into the interactions *chef kiss*. Give me more! The Kinks are real good in this, reading this while curled up in my burrito blanket oof. Please do give this a chance, well worth it!

mafia!John Price x fem!wife!Reader by @cordeliawhohung || MDNI || 18+

All you wanted was to be able to see your husband after a long week at work, but when he stands you up at dinner, that's the last straw. You hunt him down and find him at a club that he owns, where you very quickly learn why he told you to stay very far away from the place. - Or, mafia!Price defends his wife's honor then fucks her in the VIP room <3

you want a fun horny but sweet/steamy Price x Reader one shot. Here have this wonderful snack, it's a big one :3. Just the way the reader was concerned for good ol Mr. Price with being a mafia boss. But then then smut goes in, yis :3. It's dirty but a good dirty! you want a man like John to treat you like a gentleman, this is it! <3

Price x Young Reader by @luvit || MDNI || 18+

This is short but sweet! Just a fun headcannon that the reader who is in their mid/late 20's so this is an age gap headcannon. It's not off portions with the age gap. The description talking about the reader having more energy than him onto their second or third round and he is milked dry oof, and then the reader becomes bratty and he takes the reigns despite his low energy <3 it's good :D.

Fae!Price x Witch!reader by @ghouljams || MDNI || 18+

Hear me out hear me out... fae!price... cool? Cool! The writing in this is so good! Price teasing the reader when the fae try to give you a gift and you know better to. Not giving out their name, or even your name. The Fae know how to be tricksters. And the smut in this, oh it's so spicy! I love it! I'm a slut for magic based writing. especially AU's like these!! Please give them a shot! I know I LOVED.

WICKER PYRE | Dragon!Price x Reader by @yeyinde || MDNI || 18+

All things considered, you should have expected it. You know better than to make deals with dragons.

Ah Ha, you see if you know me (or don't) I LOVE dragons!! Dragons are my favorite creature! I love them, and what's better when you can romance a dragon! I mean come on! Good shit my guy! And I love and accept the headcannon that Price would be a dragon 100% not because of the smoking of a cigar that's the 5%, it's the personality, the vibe, and the voice fits so perfectly. The writing in this is so damn spicy!! How rough and hot it is (no pun intended). The way he teases the reader, ah. Very nice~ please give his a read!

woe to the deer who is courted by the wolf . . . by @toshidou Vampire!Konig x reader || MDNI || 18+

You want Vampire!Konig in your pallet, say no more. Here have this damn meal! The beginning is very silly in a good way! But when you finally come across the man himself, it get's good. I love it when Writers use his German language in the writing, it's adds the mystery where I have to look it up and I go "OH!?". It's so good! I love it! It got that size difference and the a little blood play cause of the vampire thing but please read this! indulge thyself!!

Faint Jingling Brass by @cowyolks || MDNI || 18+

Prompt: There was something about you, something that urged the beast to enter your cottage. It was intrigued, sniffing the anguish of your very soul- and it wanted you.

Krampus!Konig... yeah uh give me the eggnog with the cookies please, this was a joy to read. Totally wouldn't bang Krampus, I don't know what you are talking about. The fact that the reader was totally willing to get punished, you know it's good. Spanking? Predator/Prey dynamic? Yes Yes!! Please read this!!

Your Grace by @cowyolks Prompt: As a loyal soldier to your King, you follow orders without question. So when the King asks you to kneel— you do as told. || MDNI || 18+

Fun fact, if I am correct Konig means king in German. Why not have an AU where Knoig is the king and you are def his favorite. The writing is so damn hot oof! It is in two parts though! And the reading is so worth it. Made me blush and curl up in my blanket as well! Please please read!!

[blingblong55]

All too well- Simon 'Ghost' Riley

A/N: this is some of me in writing and why I believe romance is not for me, not now at least...so enjoy :) --- F!Reader, angst? fluff?, toxic!Ghost, age gap, older boyfriend!Ghost ----

A/N: I know Ghost wouldn't be this kind of man if he was real but I have to break my heart with him...sorry

He is older than you, years ahead of you and has more experience than you do so when you broke up with him, it was hard to let go. You at the time were 20, he was 37. People always judged and of course, you thought it was because they were jealous not because they were seriously concerned. Still, in Uni, he wanted you to make him your priority. You always said no and for some reason, he would get mad about this. At first, he was the nice guy, he was perfect and it all made you more sure that maybe there was a future with him. Your free time was spent with him because somehow, he convinced you to give all your time to him. 

This all gets noticed by all your friends. Your phone, passwords and even social accounts get monitored and checked by him. It wasn't all romance anymore. It became a reward system, you gave him your free time? Maybe he would be romantic. You let him control your friendships? Maybe he would tell you more about his weekends. Soon enough, you noticed it. Simon became the villain and for good reasons. He played the perfect part all too well, but only to those questioning stares and in those moments, it was perfection. 

When the stares looked away, he was the same Simon that had your heart trapped at the top of the castle. His anger and manipulative tactics become the dragon. Everywhere you went, his shadows lurked for you. When he said he wanted you to think of him every second of your waking life, he meant it. Will he approve of me talking to them? Your mind always asked that, even if the guy was just a friend, a literal friend and nothing more, Simon crept into your head. 

His childhood memories, being told to you, maybe it was for sympathy or maybe it was to make you think he wasn't the cold-hearted man who made you cry on Valentine's Day. "Simon! Do you not understand how rude and mean that was?!" Your heart was stabbed by his actions on that day. "R/N, you are being dramatic!" A gift that you went out of your way for in the hands of a woman who is supposed to be a best friend of yours. Two people were lied to this day, you and the naive of your best friend. "I did it, it was for you! when I made it, my mind went to you! Gosh Simon, why can't you see how rude this was!" He walks to you, hands gripping your body. "You are acting like a goddamn child R/N!" He shook you, thinking it would make you understand better. "I'm not the one dating someone young now am I?" The anger that left your mouth, oh that sent him over the edge. "Don't you fucking dare!" he said through gritted teeth. "I'm still growing, you are a grown man who doesn't even think for a moment that your fucking girlfriend did something for you! I did that and that fucking girl thinks you did it for her!" You push him and he gives you that stare. The same one your father gave you when he was made and was ready to yell and punch walls. 

Three weeks later, that is how long it took you to do it. "I'm being serious Simon, it's over." Your voice is cold and he scoffs with a low chuckle. "Aren't you too young to make the decisions here, doll?" That voice, how he gave you a condescending tone and how he approached you. "I think I'm more mature than you to know this is wrong. Me loving you is wrong and it's dead...this is over." He shakes his head and walks away furious. For weeks he called you, maybe to haunt you but every time you answered, it was the same old thing. Random numbers during class, lunch or at night called you. When they stopped, you sighed and for the first time, you smiled, a genuine one. 

The day you broke up with him was still fresh on your mind. He was a strong man, that is no doubt, so if he wanted to, he could harm you so easily. Your friend theorised that he could make you disappear, all to keep the pretty little young lover near. It is true what they say, there will always be a reason men like him stay alone for long. There's a reason why they date younger ones and not women who know best. Sometime later, that best friend approaches you, unaware of what happened between you and Simon. 

"He told me what happened." But he told her lies, told her that it was you that was the problem. After she gave you his truth, you gave her the real truth. "So...the...gift, it wasn't really from him-" "No, and I'm not asking for anything back, not at all. Just, be careful, he...he isn't the man he says he is and please...please for your own sake stay away." That same day, you found out he asked me to meet up. I thought he meant as friends, since well I thought I was his friend." She wouldn't do it, you thought. "And at first I was okay with it until he kept asking over and over. I felt weird about it because it didn't seem like it would be a friendly meet-up, I said no, out of respect for you." You hugged her. "I know he was asking to hook up but I can't do that, not to my best friend." she hugged back and you two soon talked more. 

Simon, oh that man was a mess. He soon engaged when your young heart was still grieving him behind doors. His fiance tagged people you knew, those people, some, told you he moved on. This was a game plan. Tell the young lover what was lost and maybe, they'll come running to you. It hurt but it didn't work. You noticed how happy he was. How much more he changed and in your head, you asked why he couldn't change for you. You look at the lovers that pass by, how the guy treats his girl and for a moment, you wish that was you. 

Memories come every night. 

Winter. No one knew how your heart felt for him but he did. His body is close to yours as he wraps you with the blanket, he kisses your shoulder and smiles. The art of making love was something he was an expert in. 

Summer. He takes you on midnight rides. Holds your hand and sings along with you. Your hair is in the wind as his lips meet your hand. Simon, the man who taught you so much now making you cry on the way home. 

Autumn. Your dad heard your cries as Simon explained to you why he wouldn't go to you. A woman moans on his side of the phone, "it was the movie," he explains so easily. 

Spring. Filled with arguments, tears and sex. Manipulation works its way to your body. "Fuck you!" You cry as he yet again reminds you that you are young and stupid. He degrades you this way. Reminds you that he has the upper hand for being older than you. 

You later learn he had another girl while being with you. His free time is shared between you and some other girl. Your bed is drenched in tears of regret and sorrow. The headphones blasted the words your heart cried for. 

For moments, he was liberty, fun, happiness and love. Now, when you look back at it, Simon Riley was the man who lived as the dragon of the castle, the one you had to fight off to regain your heart. You hated him for what he was. Your heart, body and soul kept him like a sword oath. The same one that had you overthinking. Did you ask for too much? Were you even a good girlfriend? 

Get out of my head, you cry. "If we had been closer in age, maybe you would understand what I wanted." He texts you some random day. That night, your friends held you as you cried in some bar. The last time you saw him was on your twenty-first birthday. Your mum asked for something from the store, so as you walk down the busy streets, your eyes catch a glimpse of him. His gaze catches yours. It was then you learned that this would be the last time you cry over him. He is dead to you, something to be proud of. 

It was then he learned you were the only good thing he had. His ex-fiance out of his life, just like you but unlike her, you were good. 

"Simon!" Your laughter fills the lounge room. "I told you, doll, this is what you get for that tickle," Simon's deep laugh belonged to yours. It's a melody. The fireplace, the laughs, the kiss after and how you both panted from an intense tickle fight. It was rare but beautiful. You cup his face, "I love you," you whisper and he grins. "oooh I knew it!" he picks you up again and you laugh. 

This is the end of the warm time

As you walk past the park, you think of the old times. It is bittersweet. The way things ended, the way he loved you, kissed you, it was good until it wasn't. Simon Riley is a man on many faces, one you know all too well. 

Love, what a miserable thing to be a part of when you had him. 

A/N: so....there's that...

Tags: @liyanahelena @dilfgestivo @bobthe-turmpetman29 @kylie-7 @sharkyyyyyyyyyyyy @idkbbyx3 @goldenmclaren @ghostslillady @moonsua1 @rvivienner @krinoid24 @istillcantfindausername @iruzias @frazie99 @spicypicklesoh @viomast @saoirse06 @vampsquerade @undercover-smutlover @juneonhoth @tiredmetalenthusiast @jinxxangel13

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[writingbylee]

hi hello i think it’s time that i actually introduce all of my OCs? because i truly have so many and i never actually talk about half of them. so below you will find all my OCs! along with short bullet point explanations of their characters. if they have an OC sheet, that’ll be linked— as well as any fic i have posted about them. i’ve also included links to my vibes page (@vibesforlee) where i’ve got tags for each of my OCs.

Fandoms Below Include: Star Wars, A Song of Ice and Fire, Percy Jackson, Marvel, Chronicles of Narnia, Critical Role, Avatar The Last Airbender, and Top Gun: Maverick

so uhhhh yeah i hope this is helpful for at least my own brain but also anyone else who is interested!

dividers by: @saradika-graphics

banners by: me

Lyra Amidala Naberrie

General Knowledge

Younger sister of Padme Amidala

Jedi Healer during the Clone Wars

Served as Medic General of the 104th Legion, Chief Medical Officer of the 104th Company known as the “Wolfpack”, and as Medic General of the 501st Legion

Fic: @abandoned-by-destiny

Vibes

House of the Dragon

Aemma Velaryon Targaryen

General Knowledge

Firstborn child to Rhaenyra Targaryen and Laenor Velaryon, before Laenor’s premature death three years after the marriage

Older sister to Jacaerys Targaryen Strong, Lucerys Targaryen Strong, Joffrey Targaryen Strong, Viserys Targaryen Strong, and Visenya Targaryen Strong

Bonded to the dragon Vermithor

Vibes

Game of Thrones

Lyanna Stark

General Knowledge

Eldest child of Catelyn and Ned Stark (by approximately seven minutes)

Twin sister to Robb Stark; believed half-sister of Jon Snow; older sister to Sansa Stark, Arya Stark, Bran Stark, and Rickon Stark

bonded to a red and brown direwolf called Scarlet Shadow

Fic: screaming from a crypt

oc blog: @princess-lyanna-stark

Vibes

Ceara Murphy

General Knowledge

daughter of Neptune and Emma Murphy, a legacy of Fortuna and daughter of Irish immigrants living in Portland, Oregon

inherited the power from her father to start earthquakes, and eventually manipulate seismic waves into concentrated blasts

brought down Mount Othrys after helping Jason Grace kill the Titan Krios

one of the demigods of the prophecy of Nine

Vibes

Emmalee Miller

General Knowledge

inherits the spirit and powers of the mythical Scarlet Witch when Wanda Maximoff is killed during her torture and experimentation at The Raft prison

is brought in by SHIELD after her powers emerge, and is initially assumed to be an Inhuman— and is therefore recruited by Daisy Johnson to join her Secret Warriors

Vibes

Edme Pevensie (female!Edmund Pevensie)

General Knowledge

Younger sister to Peter and Simon Pevensie, older sister to Lucy Pevensie

gains the power to manipulate ice and water after being stabbed with the shattered wand of The White Witch during The First Battle of Beruna

is crowned as High Queen Edme the Just, alongside her siblings; High King Peter the Magnificent, King Simon the Gentle, and Queen Lucy the Valiant

returns to Narnia twice after The Golden Age, both times to assist Prince, later King, Caspian the Tenth

Fic: A Reminder

Vibes

Campaign 1: Vox Machina

Alythea Vance

General Knowledge

Level 1 Druid/Level 11 Cleric (Death Domain) when hired by Vox Machina

is hired by Vox Machina to be their temporary healer/cleric during their mission to Whitestone, after Pike Trickfoot leaves on her vision quest

helps liberate the town of people of Whitestone, and returns to Vox Machina after the arrival of the Chroma Conclave in Emon

Vibes

Campaign 2: Mighty Nein

Kara Dean

General Knowledge

Level 7 Bard (College of Valor) when she meets the Mighty Nein

is Captain Avantika’s first mate/navigator when the Mighty Nein meet up with Avantika after stealing The Mist in Nicodranus

betrays Avantika and helps the Mighty Nein steal her journal

leaves The Revelry and Darktow with the Mighty Nein after The Plank King kills Avantika

Vibes

Xia Beifong

General Knowledge

Older sister to Toph Beifong, and heir apparent to the Beifong fortune

a nonbender who has trained extensively in swordplay

assists her younger sister in escaping, both to the fighting ring and to leave with the Avatar

in retaliation, is essentially sold by her father into marriage to the much older Earth King in Ba Sing Se

Vibes

Major Taylor Gardner

General Knowledge

28 year old Marine pilot

first Marine to ever be allowed to attend Top Gun, and the youngest female aviator to ever win Top Gun

callsign “Wasp”; due to the fifth generation fighter, colloquially called a Stinger, that she stole while escaping the uranium enrichment plant after being undercover there for several weeks obtaining vital intel

fic: Hangman and The Wasp

Vibes

[ghostofvalorie]

That Essay

@forsaire tagged me and now I MUST provide! You opened Pandora's box on this one.

To adhere to the rules I will first provide FOUR and ONLY FOUR of my fictional crushes! And to make it easier on us all I've narrowed it down to games only, so here we go!

I'm starting off from the very beginning of my journey into crushing on non-existent people, and people who have read my tags before might know this one already!

Malik Al Sayf from Assassins Creed 1 - 2007

A man whom you've wrong by being arrogant and then spends the next few hours of the game being yelled at by him, and rightfully so. Not only do you cost him his arm and place as an assassin in the brotherhood, but his younger brother as well.

Eventually Altaïr stops begin a prick and apologizes and Malik, bless his heart forgives him.

Still... not me rolling into Jerusalem hoping, wishing, to get yelled at because Malik's Voice Actor goes HARD <3 I love him and his 7 whole polygons! NEXT!!

Keeping it somewhat chronological:

The Arishok from Dragon Age 2 - 2011

He beeg. He got horns. He is technically an antagonist in the game but he has a moral code that makes sense to him that he is willing to kill and die for. Qunari famously live their lives incredibly black and white so to him he is in the right, even if we disagree.

But he just got a wholeass vibe, and he'll say nice things such as

"I have a growing lack of disgust for you" and I mean, with that voice... say no more sir. *takes shirt off*

NR 3: Adam Jensen from Deus Ex - 2011-2016

My cyborg husband <3

Ex-swat turned security guy, then interpool agent (depends on which game you are playing)

He's just an incredibly good guy, the sweetest person on the block. Ofc it depends on how you play and what choices you make, but MY Adam is a sweeheart that will go out of his way to help people.

And my boi got sass, he'll be snarky to literally anyone, his boss, the cops, criminals you name it.

He's also secretly a little funny. <3

Nr 4: Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2 - 2018

I mean first off, he do a little *mlem* when he drinks coffee... Do i even need to say more?

Arthur is just such a perfect sad boy. Raised to believe his only worth lies in killing people when in reality he is incredibly competent, sharp and caring. Again depends on how you play the game, but my Arthur is the goodest boi in the west.

Now that was four, oh but look, somehow completely unrelated to all this, some other honorable mentions seems to have ended up after the cut, how silly of me!

And @xintothewoodswegox, show us what you got!

Beast from Beauty and the Beast - 2017

No further comment, your honor, if you've seen the movie you should know.

Kaidan Alenko from Mass Effect - 2012

How can we not love the powerful nerdass space magician! He's caring, he is cute, he is Canadian and schrodinger's person of color!

He also glow blue, what else can you possible want? I for sure do NOT kick my feet and twirl my hair anytime he wants to talk to me.

Eris Goddess of Chaos from Sinbad - 2003

I MEAN LOOK AT HER?!?!?!? Again an antagonist, but she is sexy about it.

Helga Sinclair from Atlantis - 2001

I'm-I i mean, I don't even have words. Every time I SEE Helga my brain flat-lines I can't help it.

THAT GIF THO???

Majima Goro from the Like a Dragon series of games

No comment, because if i start i will NEVER stop, he's story is too good.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley from Call of Duty MWII - 2022

I could literally put ALL the characters from that game in this list. ALL OF THEM, but to keep this somewhat short I've chosen ONE and i've chosen Ghost, the most tragic man alive.

Kar'niss from Baldur's Gate 3 - 2023

Another TRAGIC boi, missunderstood and abused </3 I could take care of him. LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM LARIAN

Jonathan Reid from Vampyr - 2018

You didn't think I'd squeeze in a vampire this late, did you?

I wasn't overly impressed by Jonathan from the start, BUT, he is FASCINATING if you play him as a bloodthirsty villain willing to murder everyone for power! I'm here for bad-boy Reid!

Lastly, for now:

Corvo Attano from Dishonored - 2012

Also an incredibly tragic man, who's fate you hold in your hands with your actions!

He's just hot, he's a dilf, he can succumb to grief and violence or rise above it to save not only his daughter but an entire empire from destruction.

I'm not sure i've y'all have noticed the pattern yet but let me spell it out for you:

PEOPLE THAT CAN ABSOLUTELY DESTROY ME! Look at them all! So STRONG! So POWERFUL! Fuck, mess me up fam!

And the beauty lies in that they never would. Or I mean Eris might... but I'm in a firm belief that the others would never harm someone they care about and ain't that just the purest thing you've ever heard.

Now this was only the highlights of my fictional crushes, I've kept most of the absolute freaks out for now. Maybe I'll do an updated list later where werewolves and Cthulhu makes the cut, we'll see. Now I know HP Lovecraft wasn't a very cool dude to say the least, but you expect me to be normal about the big tentacle monster? REALLY?

Lower your expectations.

[gazs-blue-hat]

Gaz’s Blue Hat  Masterlists and introduction! (Please Read Me!)

Hello! I’m Val, or “the hat”. I love the CoD universe and have watched play throughs of most of the games. At the moment, I’m only writing for 141 and possibly other main characters throughout the story.

If you do not have your age in your bio, you’re getting blocked. I’m sorry but this is an 18+ blog. I don’t feel comfortable with minors interacting with my things.

Another thing. I will write rough topics. I’ve struggled with Suicide, Self Harm, Sexual Abuse, Addiction and many other vices. I feel like there (rightfully) is a lot of hesitation to write these topics. However, I find comfort in stories. Of course I’ll put trigger warnings on every piece I do, but I want to let you know that you’re seen and you’re heard. Final thing and I'll stop my rambling, I promise. I won't tolerate hate here. I do my best to stay educated on things and thus, this is a safe place for people to ask questions and learn about things they might not know about. Be kind folks.

Key: 

💖-Fluff

🪄 -Silly

🩸-Whump

☠️-Angst

❤️‍🔥-Smut

Series

-Fair Winds and Following Seas- Simon Riley x Reader (Tempest) 

Read on Ao3: Here!

Chapter 1: Pilot

Chapter 2: The Winding Road of Introductions

Chapter 3: The Calm Before the Storm

Chapter 4: Speed of Sound (Wip)

Glacial Tides- King!Johnny MacTavish X Siren!Reader

Masterlist Found Here!

--------------------------------------- Small Town UA- Hiatus

-Sunflowers and Shotguns (Small Town UA)- Soap x Reader (Lamb) 💖🩸

Welcome

Southern Hospitality

Around the Fences

Air Pressure

Tornado Sirens (Wip)

Toxemia (wip)

-Injections and Ivermectin (Small Town UA)- Ghost X Reader (Tens)💖

Moos Malady 

Like Little Railroads

Riley and Riley (Wip)

Concussion (Wip)

CPR (Wip)

Fireplace (Wip)

-Books and Bombshells (Small Town UA)- Gaz x Reader (Keys)

Books Bring Us Together

WPM (Wip)

Dewy Decimal System (Wip)

Movie night (Wip)

Kickstarter (Wip)

Dog-earing (Wip)

-Waves and Warfare (Small Town UA)- Price X Reader (Skip)

Captain to Captain

Come a little closer (Wip)

Kate Kate Kate (Wip)

High Seas (Wip)

Depth Charge (Wip)

Songs of the Deep (Wip)

-TF141 and the WSM- (Small town UA blurbs)

Wear the hat, ride the cowboy 🪄

Beware the Wave Soaked Maidens (Wip)

---------------------------------------

Dungeons and Dragons AU (All characters have three parts)

Seeing isn’t everything (Kyle “Gaz” Garrick X F!Reader) (Medusa)

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

Pt. 3

Songs across Seafoam (Johnny “Soap” MacTavish X F!Reader) (Siren) (Wip) 💖🩸❤️‍🔥

Pt. 1

Pt. 2

Pt. 3

Shapes in the Mists (Simon “Ghost” Riley X F!Reader) (Changeling) (Wip) 💖☠️❤️‍🔥

Pt.1

Pt.2

Pt.3

Curls of Smoke and Embers (Captain John Price X F!Reader) (Dragon) (Wip) 💖☠️🩸❤️‍🔥

Pt.1

Pt.2

Pt.3

--------------------------------------- One Shots

Captain John Price 

Left Behind ( Wip) 💖🩸

Yours to command ❤️‍🔥

Wedding ring (blurb)❤️‍🔥

Cherry stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Bad day (blurb) 💖

Simon “Ghost” Riley

Potent Poisons and Precious Passions (Fem!Reader) 💖❤️‍🔥

Loving Something So Broken (Gn!Reader)☠️💖

Forged in Blood, Bonded by Steel (wip) 💖❤️‍🔥

Hearts Do Mend ☠️💖 (Slight❤️‍🔥)

Cherry Stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Tags (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

Bad day (Blurb) 💖

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish 

Whispers in the Night (Wip) 💖❤️‍🔥

Domestic Bliss (wip) ❤️‍🔥💖

Cherry Stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Desperate (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

Bad Day (Blurb) 💖

Talking you Through it (Blurb) (Capt. MacTavish) ❤️‍🔥

Headboard (Blurb) (Capt. MacTavish) ❤️‍🔥

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Passing Notes 💖

Cherry Stem (blurb) mild❤️‍🔥

Natural Remedy (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

Bad Day (Blurb)

Paperwork Shmaperwork 💖

Alex Keller

K.I.A to C.I.A (Wip)💖❤️‍🔥

Konig

Love on the Battlefield (WIP)💖❤️‍🔥

Keegan P. Russ

Rupert’s Drop (WIP) 💀🩸

No Nut November (Blurb) ❤️‍🔥

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blurbs

No Pairings, just brainrot

What really happened at the end of MWIII

————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

🩸Whumptober🩸

Intro (Please Read)

Character taking care of Reader Whumptober list

Reader taking care of Character Whumptober list

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reblogged Masterlists

These will be complete lists of everything I have ever reblogged about these characters. I don't like the Tumblr Tagging system to look through my stuff so I made my own list like this. I'll be going backwards from present day to the very start of this blog (June)

(11/5/2023 update): I'm working hard on linking and sorting everything I have reblogged. I have organized up to October. Everything that has yet to be linked will have the tag 'To Be Linked' on it. Feel free to rummage through the bins while I get my books on a shelf. Thank you for your support!

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

John Price

All Others /Multiple

[cosmic--dandelion]

So how did we get from this

To this?

Let's talk about the history of Beelzebub!

Beelzebub is strongly associated and indeed often conflated with Baal, a Hellenistic era pagan god worshipped everywhere from the Canaanite city of Ekron to Greece (where he was known as Belus) to Egypt as far back as 1400 BCE. He is first mentioned in the Books of Kings (2 Kings 1:2–3, 6, 16) as Ba'al-zəbûb, meaning "Lord of the Flies" in Hebrew, a possible corruption of "Lord of the High Place" meant to denigrate the deity after he was appropriated and repurposed as a false god, then a demon. Baal worship was extremely difficult for the early Christians to stamp out, so they basically stole other people's mythology and used it as a free idea bucket to fill out the Bible's rogues gallery.

While it's true that in some Ugaritic texts, Baal is depicted as expelling flies and causing sickness, he was still held in high esteem in ancient Canaan and Phoenicia as a powerful deity who controlled the sun, storms, and fertility and who defeated Mot, the god of death and the underworld. The ancient world could get pretty scatological at times! After all, one of Beelzebub's contemporaries, the Egyptian sun god Ra, was often depicted as a dung beetle, then a prominent symbol of rebirth.

Some scholars think he might have even been the same god! Beelzebub seems to have been the ancient world's go-to demon because the name has been used interchangeably with everyone from Lucifer, Satan, and even Hades in some gnostic texts.

Unfortunately, we don't have much information about Beelzebub's pre-Christian origins other than some iron age ruins in what is now modern day Israel that suggest his temples were decorated with little golden flies, which is pretty neat.

Interestingly, Jesus himself was accused of being a worshipper of Beelzebub multiple times in the New Testament. Maybe the Pharisees were projecting?

Throughout the Middle Ages, Beelzebub reappeared again in the Lantern of the Light (where he was associated with the sin of envy), De Occulta Philosophia, Princes of Hell, and other demonology texts. 16th-17th Century French Inquisitor Sébastien Michaelis elevated him to the rank of fallen angel in his book The Admirable History of Possession and Conversion of a Penitent Woman: Seduced by a Magician that Made Her to Become a Witch, translated to English in 1613. It was around this time Beelzebub started to become strongly associated with witchcraft. Michaelis should know; he burnt over 14 women accused of being witches!

Unsurprisingly, his name came up repeatedly during the Salem witch trials.

Beelzebub and fellow demons new and old bounced all over different classifications of demons during the 1500s and 1600s. In John Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost, first published in 1667, Beelzebub was part of an unholy trinity consisting of him, Lucifer, and Astaroth. Occultist Johan Weyer decreed that Beelzebub was the Emperor of Hell, having led a successful revolt against the devil. German theologian Peter Binsfield described him as the Prince of Gluttony in his 1589 Treatise on Confessions by Evildoers and Witches. Before that, he was associated with Envy, then Pride.

We even have his personal signature! (At least according to the Grand Grimoir, an anonymous text on black magic of unknown origin)

Beelzebub's physical appearance is even more diverse. He's been depicted as everything from a leopard, a feminine man as tall as a tower, a snake, a calf with a fly's face to...whatever the literal hell this is:

"'dressed like a bee and with two dreadful ears and his hair painted in all colors with a dragon's tail"

Jacques Albin Simon Collin de Plancy (1793 – 1881)'s Dictionnaire infernal was among the first to depict Beelzebub literally as a fly. No duck feet, no lion's mane. Just a fly.

Still better than this.

As Plancy was a skeptic influenced by Voltaire, the book was first intended as a folklore compilation but was later modified to fit with Roman Catholic theology after he converted, much to the consternation of his admirers. Many of his lurid illustrations later appeared in S. L. MacGregor Mathers's edition of The Lesser Key of Solomon...for better or for worse.

Put Adrammelech in Helluva Boss you cowards.

So basically, Beelzebub has been a public domain character since before King Tut was laid in his golden sarcophagus, and people have been just making shit up about him for millennia. What's your favorite depictation of Beelzebub? This is mine:

Nothing beats 2nd Edition Dungeons & Dragons artwork.

[simonjadis]

Deepstalkers in Dragon Age: The Missing #1

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 9: The Legendary Unikron

The post where I finally make the naming format of this blog more sane

This is the same place as the one, where in the episode "Heads for no Tails" it will be revealed that Kerubim obtained the legendary, life-draining Heads for no Tails restraint while pissdrunk. Y'know. The one meant for an Ondine created by Djaul to trick the dragon Aguabrial into creating a Dofus.

Yeah, I will not think too much about the fact that it is flipped. To me, they're The Same Place. I guess he's been drinking here for decades. Kind of cute.

And yeah I guess it means the Ondine named Ondine, from the episode Like a Snapper in the Water is literally just named "Siren the Siren". I guess her mermaid parents weren't very creative. I'll mention this when I liveblog that episode too, but I would feel bad, if I didn't mention this here too.

We will talk about my feelings on Kerubim leaving the legendary demon-killing life-draining shackles somewhere Joris, in his shelf-climbing corridor-running wisdom, could reach, later.

We'll get there when we get there.

Glad to know there's a reason Kerubim and Joris live in a bad neighborhood. And that reason is that Kerubim wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else.

Love his scary and off-putting behaviours.

Okay, rant incoming:

Firstly, this is a customary french drink bowl, to stop any wondering from the non-french aware readers. It's normal for French people to drink coffee, milk, and tea from a bowl, soup-style, in the morning and in the evening. So this part is normal.

Now onto more sillywhacky part of this: What the fuck is Joris doing here, exactly?

As we can see, his Bowl of Liquid is steaming even before he starts pouring the chocolate milk into it. Is he adding chocolate milk to hot milk? Is he adding chocolate milk to cocoa or hot chocolate? (I will fight people who don't differentiate between them, they're two different things, you heathens.)

Is he, mayhaps, adding it... to tea?

We will never know, yet the question is haunting.

Interestingly, it seems that one of Simone's jobs around the house is polishing swords. Also, her being here so late means that, quite predictably, she is a live-in maid.

(You can see that like, 50% of this blog is me paying to random details that could only be useful in like, extremely faithful fanfiction, and 50% getting whacky with this show's storytelling.)

I love Simone so, so much. Truly, she is Joris's cooler aunt.

No comment besides this image.

Joking. I do have a comment, actually. Imagine me putting on a tinfoil hat here, btw.

I think it's kinda telling that Joris's main fear, the one that re-occurs a multiple times during the show, and always, without fail, makes him break down in tears, is Kerubim dying.

The facts that are important to keep in mind are: They've been living together alone for Joris's entire life, Joris knows he's adopted, and Kerubim himself is an orphan, which he doesn't really hide.

Which leads to multiple conclusions, which all coexist:

1. Joris is a kid who's very aware of the mortality of parents/guardians, and that, above everything else, that he is lucky to have a home and a semblance of family. That if Kerubim wasn't there, he may not have had that.

Which is uh... a pretty stressful thing for a kid his age to know, I suppose!

Especially considering the fact that Kerubim is an old man riddled with back pains, and for 7 years had such a level of post-lou-divorce post-battle-with-julith depression that he could not figure out how to get them into a clean, non-shitty non-hazardous home.

And now that their home IS clean, still can't make it non-hazardous.

2. Joris and Kerubim are much closer than most parents and children, because they literally have no other relatives, and Kerubim has pushed away most people who would consider him a friend in the past. Only relying on one another isn't the best or healthiest idea, but what choice do they have?

You can't just show up at home, be like "i would be dead, if it wasn't for you giving me water, my jojo <3" and not expect to inflict some eldritch horror levels of psychic damage onto your son.

Especially considering the fact, that he KNOWS, from your own shitty stories, that when you're gone, and it IS a when, because you're an old man who's constantly complaining about his health, he's going to be fending for himself all alone.

It's pretty obvious, then, why Joris would put Kerubim on a very high pedestal and, as will be shown later, prioritize the man's feelings over his own. Kerubim is his best friend, his role model, provider, guardian, AND the only one family member he has.

Besides depending on him, Joris knows papycha is a very, very lonely and sad person, — and who is he, not to try and make the life of the one person, who's most important to him, better?

If Kerubim isn't always happy, both in general and with Joris, then that's the worst thing ever, and if Kerubim isn't amazing, all-capable, and Not Going To Die Within The Next Couple Of Years Due To Being Old As Fuck, then their life is Over.

So Joris has to put in a lot of work.

This analysis isn't even picking apart the nitty-gritty of Kerubim being an orphan and having abandonment issues, or the way those things make him latch onto Joris the same way Joris latches onto him — as if this child is his Only Hope and Savior, Who Won't Leave Him Like All The Others.

And how that might lead to him REALLY liking Joris idealizing and putting him on a pedestal, despite the guilt he might feel knowing that that's kind of a... not-good parenting tactic.

...Man this post isn't even a rewatch liveblog anymore, it's just an analysis post, innit? 💀

[tuxedo-rabbit]

Playing Legacy when both siblings are dead is so lonely.

Hawke doesn't even seem 100% sure it's Malcolm's voice till the end. If you're a mage it's especially painful bc Malcolm says he hopes you wont turn out to have magic.

Just. Man. Hawke really has no one to talk to about it all in this version of events.

At least Varric asks if you're ok.

[itadorysss]

I'm still curating my reading list for next year and I wanted to know if I can get any recommendations from you ♡

xoxo

MY FAVOURITE QUESTION ON THE ENTIRE PLANET!!!!! this may be a long list. I am not sure what genre u tend to read but I have a lot of recs. I tend to read contemporary and fantasy so it'll be mostly those

contemporary:

the entire windy city series by liz tomforde (4 books, the fifth is out in April, they are all 5/5⭐️ ESPECIALLY the second book- it is sports romance!!)

salt kiss by Sierra Simone- this book is fcking WILD, and I devoured every single page of it, very shameless smut

side note: anything by Sierra Simone is just shameless smut, but her new Camelot series is the most shameless (I ate the whole trilogy up- some insaneee age gaps in all her books tbh)

hoops series by Kennedy Ryan (I must have cried half of the water content in my body over the first book- SO SO EXCELLENT)

now onto fantasy:

these violent delights/our violent ends by Chloe gong (we've talked about this one before: 1920s Romeo and Juliet retelling with fantasy and mafia?? yeah, I ate this series up for breakfast lunch and dinner- cried my fcking eyes out too)

foul lady fortune/foul heart huntsman also by Chloe gong (this series is even BETTER than the first one, I do not play about this couple one bit!!! it's soooo good)

caraval by Stephanie garber (3 books, its got this old timey feel to it I think you'll enjoy it a lot)

once upon a broken heart by Stephanie garner (also 3 books but WAY BETTER, I think you'll like this one as well, its got that vintage feel to it- and the second book is one of my top 10 books of 2024)

the book of azrael- amber v nicole (3 books out atm, there's gonna be 5 apparently: I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS SERIES IT IS SO DAMN GOOD!!!! REAL enemies to lovers PLEASE READ)

fate of wrath and flame- ka tucker (4 books, complete series, I need someone to talk to about this one too, literally had me having withdrawals once I'd finished it was soooo good)

shatter me- tahereh mafi (not my fav series ever, but it's one you read just to say that you've read it)

the serpent and the wings of night- Carissa Broadbent (this book made me fuck with vampires again- that is HIGH PRAISE coming from me)

spark of the ever flame- Penn Cole (another series that gave me withdrawals after I finished it)

six of crows- Leigh bardugo (ITS SO GOOD!!!!)

divine rivals/ruthless vows- Rebecca ross (I think you will LOVE THIS ONE!!!! its set in the 1800s I believe and it is SICKENINGLY SWEET I LOVED IT)

fourth wing- Rebecca yarros (on the more unserious side but I thoroughly enjoyed it- i'll eat up anything with dragons in it)

one dark window/two twisted crowns by Rachel gillig (vintage vibes AGAIN!!!! SO GOOD!)

the crimson moth by Kristen ciccarelli (EVEN MORE VINTAGE VIBES)

onto more classical ones:

the handmaids tale- Margaret Atwood (I have ptsd bc we studied this in depth for alevels, but I would have ate it up if I'd read it without the pressure of having to write a million essays about it)

the bell jar- Sylvia plath (I did my english coursework project on this book, so so good)

a streetcar named desire- Tennessee Williams (one of my inspos for writing halcyon, it's set in the 40s but it has suchhhh vintage vibes to it, very morally questionable and flawed characters)

outliers:

debutantes duology by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (this series had me ripping my hair out in frustration but in a GOOD WAY???)

five survive by holly Jackson (reading this at 2am in low lighting was a bad idea bc I was genuinely getting scared while reading- I ate it up tho)

I AM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT THIS QUESTION TURNS ME INTO AN EVEN BIGGER YAPPER! <3 PLS READ THE BOOK OF AZRAEL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! xxxx

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Movie 2: Super Hero (4/5)

BIG

ORANGE!

The whole movie has been building to this. The Red Ribbon Army wants to take out Gohan, but they don't want to ambush him at home like they did with Piccolo, because Gohan lives in the city and there would be too many witnesses. So instead Commander Magenta has Gohan's daughter kidnapped from preschool, in order to lure him to the RR base. That way Dr. Hedo's new androids, the Gammas, can fight him on their home turf.

What the Red Ribbon doesn't know is that their kidnapping only got this far because Piccolo has infiltrated their ranks, and he managed to convince Pan to play along. His plan is to use Magenta's plan as a way to motivate Gohan so that he'll fight to his fullest potential and defeat the Red Ribbon Army.

Complicating matters even further is the fact that the Gammas are programmed to think of themselves as superheroes, i.e. the "good guys". When Gohan asks why they're doing this, Gamma 1 insists that it's all for the sake of bringing down Gohan's "evil secret organization". Naturally, Gohan has no idea what he's talking about, and it all sounds pretty stupid when Gamma's side is the one doing the kidnapping.

One thing that bugs me about Hedo and the Gammas is that this movie doesn't really spend a lot of time providing any context to the "super heroes" that Hedo loves so much. Everyone says the Gammas look like old fashioned superheroes, but I sure don't see it. Maybe they're meant to evoke the Sentai genre, but does that exist in the Dragon World? I mean, this fictional Earth has actual superheroes in it, like Mr. Satan and the Great Saiyaman. Shouldn't Dr. Hedo be idolizing those guys, and designing the Gammas to look like them instead?

I guess I should use an example. So in Batman: The Animated Series, there's an episode about "The Grey Ghost", a fictional hero within the world of the show. Bruce Wayne watched Grey Ghost episodes as a kid, and the character partially inspired a lot of the gadgets and tactics he later used as Batman. The episode was about the actor who played the Grey Ghost, Simon Trent, who was voiced by the late, great Adam West, just to hammer home the analogy.

Anyway, the way they made that work was by showing clips from the Grey Ghost's TV show, and flashbacks to when Bruce used to watch it as a kid, and all the merchandise made for the franchise. Grey Ghost was a pretty standard Golden Age pulp hero, like the Shadow or Green Hornet. The BTAS writers didn't just assume you already knew what kind of hero Grey Ghost was. They showed you.

Now, in Super Hero, they sort of take that concept for granted, and all we see of Hedo's "super heroes" are a few actors in costumes, or just the costumes as Dr. Hedo imagines them. We're never given a sense of just what the Gammas are supposed to be imitating. They're supposed to be very flamboyant and over-the-top, but they don't look that much flashier than Piccolo. I mean, he wears a cape too? He broods, he flies, he shoots lasers out of his eyes. Oh, and he has a kid sidekick who grew up to become even flashier:

Fuck yeah! This movie doesn't do much with Super Saiyan, but it looks damn good when it happens. See, Great Saiyaman got the super hero pastiche right because Gohan was using it as a disguise. He had to dress differently to protect his secret, and then he started getting into the act, talking all high and mighty, and doing Sentai poses. Then he'd take the costume off and act like his ordinary self. So the superhero tropes were obvious. Arguably, Gohan was already a superhero anyway, but as Great Saiyaman he turned that up to eleven by having a secret identity, a transformation watch, and a pesky love interest determined to expose him. The trouble with the Gammas is that they're only six months old, and the costumes is all they are. We never see the tropes that they're meant to resemble. The movie either assumes we already recognize the reference, or there is no reference. That's a tough tightrope to walk.

Anyway, Gohan and Gamma 1 fight for a bit, and Pan's excited to see this because at the beginning of the movie she told Piccolo that she never saw her daddy fight before. Earlier, she wondered if he would really leave his work to come rescue her, and Piccolo said he'd beat him up if he didn't. So Gohan had a lot to prove here, even if he didn't know it

But Piccolo is still concerned, because Gamma 1 seems to be learning Gohan's moves as they fight, which means Gohan will have trouble defeating him. He needs to fight at a higher level, and Piccolo has an idea to motivate him further...

Up close, this looks kind of silly, like you can obviously see he's not even holding Pan by her collar, and he's got his other hand holding her up. I guess Piccolo was afraid of damaging her preschool uniform while he toyed with Gohan's emotions, which is pretty much the most Piccolo thing ever.

But from a distance, it just looks like he's hurting Pan, and she cries out, which upsets Gohan... and the Gammas. Gamma 2's like "What are you doing!? We don't hurt kids!" And that surprises Piccolo and Pan.

But it still works. Gohan flips his shit and transforms to his Mystic/Ultimate/Elder Kai Unlock form. You know the one, he used it to fight Super Buu, and then he used it in the Tournament of Power. Piccolo is thrilled by this development and Pan wants to celebrate with double fistbumps. Pan is adorable in this movie.

The fight is a long way from finished, but Gohan does a lot better in this form. Also he blew away the rainclouds over the Red Ribbon Base, so we can see the fight better. Now, Gamma 1 is on the defensive, although with his powers, that's not a bad place to be.

Let's talk about Gohan a bit. One common critique about this movie is that it's all about super heroes, but Gohan never whips out his Great Saiyaman outfit. And I agree, it does feel like a missed opportunity, but I also think there's a very good reason for not having Great Saiyaman in this movie.

For one thing, Great Saiyaman would probably steal the Gamma's thunder. It's their only gimmick, and if Gohan's vamping it up in his own hero suit, then it dilutes the concept. Like I was saying before, Piccolo and Gohan are pretty much superhero characters already, so things are already strained enough.

More importantly, though, one of the major themes of this movie is "I wish Gohan would do (x) like he used to." Pan wants to see her daddy fight. Piccolo wants to see Gohan train. Magenta wants him to be the kid who defeated Cell, because otherwise he wasted two billion zenni on a pair of androids. If Gohan's just a mild-mannered biologist, then this battle was pointless.

The audience wants Gohan to be the Great Saiyaman, because Great Saiyaman is fun and cool, and it fits the tone of the movie. Only it doesn't fit the tone of the movie, because it never happens in the movie.

Well, some of the audience wanted Gohan to be Great Saiyaman. Then you have others who wanted Gohan to become this edgy badass, like when he slaughtered all the Cell Juniors, but to the nth degree. I remember after the movie came out, some fanartist was bitter because they should have done what he did in his fancomic, where Cell comes back and murders Videl and Pan right in front of Gohan, which makes him go berserk. Twitter dunked on that guy for a few weeks, and rightly so. Here's the thing: The Gammas desperately need Gohan to be that edgy fancomic version. Their programming only makes sense if Gohan's the villain in this story, and that would be easier to believe if Gohan would flip out and decapitate someone.

But that's not how Gohan works. He's not a machine like the Gammas who can be switched from one mode to the next. The Gammas have to be superheroes, but Gohan can be all sorts of things: father, husband, Saiyan, Earthling, warrior, scientist, superhero, etc. Piccolo can kind of steer Gohan in the direction he wants him to go, but he had to stage a phony kidnapping for this. And Piccolo is Gohan's best friend and mentor. If he has this much trouble putting Gohan in a box, then how can anyone else?

Gohan is a complex character, with many different aspects to him, and this is what makes all of his different facets work. The whole point of Kid Gohan flipping out and crushing the bad guys was that he was usually so meek and unassuming. If he was a badass all the time, it wouldn't matter. If he was Great Saiyaman all the time, no one would care. If he truly sat in his house studying bugs all the time, it wouldn't mean anything. What makes Gohan cool is that he can be all of these things and more. But he'll never be evil, and that's what's got the Gammas so flustered.

So Dr. Hedo gets worried about Gamma 1 and sends 2 in to back him up when...

OH YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

YOUR ASS BETTER CALLLLLLLL SOMEBODYYYYYYY!

Speaking of professional wrestling, check this shit out.

A brainbuster DDT? In my Dragon Ball? It's more likely than you think!

So while Gohan works over Gamma 1, Piccolo shows off his new power-up to Gamma 2. Unfortunately, it's still not enough. Gohan can fight evenly with 1, but it's the classic DBZ android problem, where the androids can fight at full strength without getting tired, and Gamma 1's battery is still at 82%. As for Piccolo, he soon discovers that his power up doesn't quite tip the scales against Gamma 2. Here we see him do a cool Special Beam Cannon, but 2 just throws up a force field to deflect it.

More importantly, Piccolo taunts 2 about how he seems like an okay dude, except he's following bad orders. 2 insists that he was created to follow orders, but Piccolo knows that on some level the Gammas must realize that this is wrong. And that dilemma is probably what's keeping Piccolo competitive in this fight. Gamma 2 is too distracted to deal with him properly.

So Gamma 2 gets so frustrated that he batters Piccolo and throws him down into the depths of this crater the Red Ribbon Base is in. I'm not sure how this place works. It looks like there's catacombs at the bottom or something. How ancient is this thing? Anyway, Piccolo does the anime thing where the hero seems to plummet to their depth, and then they have this big epiphany about friendship or believing in yourself or something. Except instead, he just flashes back to when Shenron boosted his power... and gave him "a little extra".

Awwww yeah!

Yeahhhhh!

Well now you fucked up, Gammas, because Piccolo's orange. What does this mean? Well, for one thing, Piccolo's antennae float instead of dangling over his brow. For another thing, he's got red eyes, which is always cool. Also his bara titties are even more bara than ever.

And I think you can work out the rest for yourself. One punch and Gamma 2 is down.

At this point, Magenta gets nervous and orders his troops to shoot Orange Piccolo, and that doesn't work at all, so everyone starts to run away. Carmine tries to cover Magenta's escape, but Pan chases after them, so Carmine starts shooting at Pan, but then...

Gamma 2 disarms Carmine with his pistol, and says he now understands who the real villains are. Kind of impressive he got his wits together so soon after taking that punch.

Then Pan wrecks Carmine's shit, which I just noticed is kind of like how Gohan took down Cell with two hits. I'm pretty sure it was a punch to the gut followed by a kick to the head, but Pan's only three, so it's okay if she gets the order wrong. The important thing is Pan gets to beat up a bad guy all by herself. If this were GT, they'd have Giru save her or something.

So Piccolo tells Gohan the fight is over, because it seems like Gamma 2 has finally seen the light. I guess Gamma 1 doesn't need much convincing, since he was having a similar crisis in his own fight.

So the fight is over, right? Not quite. Magenta runs, but he doesn't run away. Instead he goes deeper into the base and tries to activate his ultimate weapon, Cell Max. Dr. Hedo follows him and warns him that it's too dangerous. Hedo completed Cell Max's body, but his brain is still in development, and he'd be uncontrollable if brought online.

But Magenta doesn't care. As he sees it, things went wrong today because he trusted Hedo. The Gammas lost because they weren't powerful enough to defeat the enemy as quickly as Hedo boasted. Hedo says that they were only having trouble because they couldn't sense any malice in their opponents, but Magenta says that's the problem. Hedo insisted on programming them with all that superhero nonsense. Magenta wanted weapons, not cartoon characters, and so he's going to end things by unleashing Cell Max.

So Magenta shoots Hedo to stop him from interfering, but it doesn't work, because Hedo has bulletproof skin, thanks to some enhancement he made to his own body. So Magenta reveals that he has his own enhancements and takes off his shirt to reveal he's a cyborg. He admits that his body modifications might not be as sophisticated as Hedo's, but he's confident that he's strong enough to win in a fight.

You know, I was wondering why Magenta didn't make himself taller while he was having himself converted into a cyborg, but then it occurred to me that maybe he did make himself taller. He's still pretty short, but he's taller than his dad, Commander Red, so maybe he used to be the same height as Red, and made himself the height he is now. Maybe this is tall enough for him, or this was the practical limit of his cybernetics.

None of that matters, though, because Magenta forgot Hedo's other trick, that cyborg bee he used to spy on him at the beginning of the movie. It carries a powerful venom that can kill any living organism with one sting. Even cyborgs can't withstand it, because the venom disables their biological components. It seemed kind of weird when Hedo spelled that out in the limo scene, but now that we know Magenta is a cyborg, it makes sense. This is what they call Checkov's Cyborg Bee Sting.

So now the fight is definitely over, right? No, because Magenta presses the button to activate Cell Max right before he dies. Seriously, Hedo really fucked up here. Sure the bee sting was fatal, but it took a while for Magenta to actually keel over, and Hedo kept gloating about stealing Magenta's money instead of watching him.

Meanwhile, Bulma has arrived with reinforcements: Krillin, Android 18, Goten, and Trunks. I'm not sure why she did this, or how she even knew where to go, but it's Bulma, so she might have traced Piccolo's cell phone or something. Anyway, the big story here is that Goten and Trunks actually look like teenagers, and pretty close to their designs in the final three episodes of Dragon Ball Z. Fans have been asking about this ever since Battle of Gods premiered in 2013, because Goten and Trunks were supposed to be like 10 and 11, but they still looked like they did at ages 6 and 7. This kind of made sense, because Goku looked pretty teeny at 15, and Gohan was kind of small for 11, but the premise really felt strained beyond belief as Dragon Ball Super wore on, and the boys got older and older with each new story arc.

This movie tries to rationalize it by having Piccolo be all surprised to see this growth spurt, and Gohan tells him that this is how it is with Saiyan children. They stay small for a long time and just suddenly grow in their late teens. Okay, but Mai's not a Saiyan and she wasn't growing up either... Oh well.

Meanwhile, Hedo desperately tries to cancel Cell Max's activation, but it's too late. Different flavors of Kool-Aid are being pumped into his incubation chamber. Purplesauraus Rex, Pink Swimmingo, Great Blue-dini, Kickin' Kiwi Lime, and Black Cherry, the most powerful flavor of all.

I guess I have to give Hedo credit for trying, but the guy's busting out of the chamber right now. Cell Max is already active, my guy. It's just a matter of how strong you built the chamber. Meanwhile, the good guys are unaware of any of this. They're too busy asking Piccolo what he's gonna call his new orange transformation. "I guess I'll just call it 'Orange Piccolo'" he says. Thank you, Piccolo. Just for being you.

"Never mind that shit! Here comes Cell Max!"

Everyone's like, what the fuck are you talking about, Dr. Hedo, but then... yeah, you'll see. We'll all see, won't we?

[ashes-writing-corner]

So I'm actually in the process of writing my dragon rider AU, and I wanted to go ahead and include Farah in my little headcanons/fun facts series. As always, dragon art credit goes to Kenny Kwan arts on Instagram. Check it out his art is amazing ^^

Also yes I'm aware I added an extra r in her name in the pic, but as I made this months ago I really don't wanna go back and correct it. I'm so sorry guys :(

Farah and Zaircai

Farah

1. Farah is a dragon rider from another country, Keshye, which is across the sea from Athana.

2. Unlike Edren and Athana, the people of Keshye view dragons as creatures worthy of great reverence. While it's an honor to become a rider, becoming one for Keshyan dragon is harder.

3. Farah was ten when she first approached Zaircai, a dragon who had been feeding off of local livestock for ages and was becoming a tad problematic. Three years of training, bonding, and hard work on both sides earned a strong partnership.

4. Farah is an expert with a longbow, both in the air and on the ground.

5. She rides Zaircai mostly bareback, as saddles and reins are considered taboo when claiming a dragon in Keshye.

6. It takes a lot of balance and a LOT of trust, but she can even stand on Zaircai when in the air, knowing her Winged Shadow will not let her fall.

7. She wants to see the whole world from the back of her dragon, and make records and maps from her findings.

8. Doesn't agree with how Athanians "lock away" their dragons in Dragon's Keep. It's only after talking with Simon and Nova that Farah gets why Dragon's Keep was truly built.

9. Her people also view Wildfyre, the first dragon, as a sort of god-like figure. For Edren and Athana, Wildfyre was a tyrant to be feared and deposed. But to the Keshyen people he was a symbol of freedom and the wild that made up their homeland.

10. She and her brother once served as egg couriers as they sought out new riders. When it was revealed he was stealing and selling the eggs to those who wanted to use the hatchlings inside for other, more nefarious purposes, Farah and Zaircai had no choice but to stop him by any means necessary...

Zaircai

1. A rather young dragon, maybe in his 70s at this point. He doesn't really keep track of his age.

2. Farah calls him her Winged Shadow because he's always there even when she's not on his back.

3. Zaircai tends to overheat easily due to the black of his scales. Because of this, he's often found swimming in any nearby body of water to keep cool.

4. He claimed Farah just as much as she claimed him. They chose each other if anyone asks them.

5. Farah is his first rider, and he's not sure if he'll want another once she's gone.

6. Breathes flames of black with veins of silver.

7. His head and neck are lined with sharp spikes, similar to another dragon I might write about later. It's believed the two may be related but its never entirely addressed, as it's one he REALLY doesn't want to be associated with.

8. At first, Zaircai only lets Farah touch him, until they meet Alex the Wanderer and his dragon, Visha.

9. Is a bit spoiled admittedly, a trait that all Keshyen dragons share.

10. Farah was not the first to try and claim him, just the only successful one to. Many tried only to be burned for their efforts.

And that's Farah and Zaircai! I feel like they're gonna be a fun pair to write, and even more so when Alex is thrown into the mix. Not sure who I'll do next, maybe Graves and his dragon, Vera. Anyway, let me know what you guys think! As I said I'm actually working on turning this into a full fledged fic. So keep an eye out for that! Don't forget to be awesome ^^