#simon & fionna — wouldn’t you like to get away?

[icedkings]

tag dump!

[crushmeeren]

Fem Reader/Simon Petrikov — Fionna & Cake Version

Warnings; slight cursing, sometimes Simon struggles getting hard, blowjobs, vaginal sex, squirting, mention of masturbating

Note; I wrote this for my Simon girlies 😭—also I’m just unhinged, I needed to write this so badly okay. just please enjoy this brain food about sweet Simon and his struggles being older and getting hard. I really do hope this reaches the people searching for it. 🫶🏻

••••

When you started sleeping with Simon, you already knew that he was older than you, quite a bit older in fact. Not that it’s an issue—especially since you find older men unbearably attractive anyways. You think it may have to do with the fact that the age difference can be such a taboo subject, but you digress.

Let’s be honest, Simon is so, well—pretty, for lack of a better word. It never fails to drive you up the wall. So when you did start fucking—it was a pure fantasy come true moment for you.

It’s just—you’ve started to notice something intriguing. At first, it was just a fleeting thought. Now, you’ve realized that when you do get to be naked and tangled in Simon’s sheets—those times are often sporadic, spaced out, inconsistent.

Which is of course okay, you wouldn’t ever pressure him to do more than he wanted. You just —you can’t help but wish he wanted to have sex more often. Selfish, you know. But surprisingly enough—the old man has a damn filthy deep stroke! Hell, Simon’s the only one who’s ever made you cum enough to squirt.

All that being said, you do feel a little guilty, because you know your sexual appetite is sky high. You’ve been told so on more than one occasion and you’ve generally come to terms with it. You’re more than happy to take care of yourself when needed.

But after awhile of this mouth watering, mind numbing sex, you become aware that Simon seems to only want to roll around in the sheets with you once per meet up. Again, nothing wrong with that, but the seed of mild curiosity as to why he doesn’t want to do more has been planted in your mind.

The first time this new concept rattles around in your brain, it’s more of an absent thought. Really just a casual observation. It’s during one evening in which Simon’s able to direct you away from the train of thought that leads to a second round so easily it’s creepy.

You only remember later when you’ve gone back home, close to passing out for the night. Charming bastard.

Truthfully it only starts to consume and rot your brain after you start spending the night in his bed more often than not. Instead of going home like you were before. The heavy palm of realization smacks you across the cheek when you’re staying the night with Simon one night over the weekend.

You’re both lying comfortably in Simon’s bed. Soft blankets covering you up to your shoulders as you lay on your side, watching your pretty companion. He’s propped up by a couple pillows against the headboard, reading part of his book in the gentle glow of his bedside lamp.

The man looks relaxed. Salt & pepper hair starting to curl slightly at the ends due to previous activities causing him to sweat. His cheeks are still a barely there rosy pink. He’s also only in briefs at this point, chest bare. The sight causes desire to spark heavily in your belly once again & you can’t help your next moves.

Failing in an attempt to be sneaky, you stretch languidly, reaching over to gently rest a hand on his bare belly. The pads of your fingers moving to tickle the soft expanse of skin over his ribs, causing him to shiver.

You see Simon chew his bottom lip as he glances at you out of the corner of his eye. He’s white knuckling the edges of his book as you continue to teasingly trail your fingers over his sensitive flesh.

“Are you alright lovely?” Simon’s soft voice dances in your ears. He’s looking down at you directly now, absently adjusting his glasses. You answer with an affirmative hum, dragging your fingers up the middle of his sternum.

You swallow a breathy sigh as you notice his nipples get hard from your feathery touch. Simon looks like he can’t help the way his eyes flutter shut momentarily.

“M’alright Si, how about you?” You murmur, brushing a thumb over his perky nipple. Simon gasps softly at the touch, squirming and the lusty action causes your pussy to clench. The familiar delicious, low burn of arousal licking at your lower belly. Fuck, this wasn’t your intention, but now you want to ride Simon until he’s whimpering and drooling.

“I’m well sweetheart, but don’t you think it’s time to sleep?” He coos, letting his open book rest in his lap. He runs the backs of his knuckles over your cheek lovingly. It does not stop you from pouting.

“Siiiiii,” you whine, slightly confused, but pulling your hand back to your chest. He’s not wrong, it is late & you are tired. But now you’ve worked yourself up, the thought of sex very tantalizing.

“I know what you want silly girl, it’s late though. How about we try in the morning?” Simon soothes, setting his book and glasses on his bedside table. Effectively shutting down the possibility of a second round.

“Fine,” you huff, pushing out your lower lip at him. “But I definitely am jumping your bones in the morning.” Simon laughs, the sound overwhelmingly sweet, and turns off the bedside lamp.

“Deal sweetheart,” he breathes, lying on his side to face you. Pushing at your shoulder to turn you around so he can spoon you. You oblige, letting him pull you back into his chest, snuggling under the covers.

You feel Simon’s plush lips brush over your the nape of your neck in a kiss, bidding you goodnight. You let your entire back side press up against his front, getting comfortable, soaking up his body heat. As you drift off, you realize that Simon wasn’t even the least bit hard from your teasing.

••••

It’s early when you start to stir. You crack an eye open, able to make out vague shapes in Simon’s room. Rays from the rising sun starting to peak through the blinds, casting small shadows all around.

Simon’s arm flexes around your waist and you can feel the warmth of his slow, rhythmic breathing ghosting over the back of your neck. It makes a shiver rumble down your spine.

Your thoughts are jumbled at best, arm tingling under the pillow you’ve been resting your head on. Too warm, too cozy, you think. You’re covered completely with a fuzzy blanket, Simon’s toasty, naked chest radiates warmth through your shirt to your skin. It feels like you’re cocooned in a blanket just taken out of the dryer.

You’re falling prey to the cozy atmosphere, letting it lull you back to sleep when Simon’s hand slowly slips under your large T-shirt, smoothing over your hip before resting on your stomach.

It’s innocent at first, but then his nails start to scratch soothingly back & forth over your lower belly. Each pass he teases downwards. Getting closer & closer to the patch of curly hair that sits above your clit.

You’re unsure if he’s being intentional or not, but your brain has shaken off some of the groggy feeling at this point. The sensual sensation of Simon’s fingers give your pussy its own heartbeat. You rub your thighs together in frustration.

“Si,” you whisper, voice saturated with sleep. Simon only makes a soft, sleepy noise in return. His breathing hasn’t changed, you assume he’s still asleep. You wiggle in place, entire body flushing hotly underneath the blanket as his fingers continue to torture you.

Your stomach clenches involuntarily when he barely brushes the skin connected to the top of your curly patch of hair. Heat smolders low & sweet in your lower belly, you’re getting extremely turned on. Clit throbbing painfully.

Yet Simon doesn’t move his hand any lower. Almost as if it’s meant to be a comforting gesture instead of a sexual one. Briefly, the thought of pushing his hand lower occurs to you.

You desperately want the older man to play with your clit. For Simon to rub slow, sweet circles into your perky bud until your blood feels like it’s been replaced with a warm, syrupy heat. Except he’s not budging & you’re going to cry if you don’t get some relief.

“Simon,” you whine quietly, flipping around in his hold until your face to face. He doesn’t open his eyes yet, answering with a questioning hum, settling his warm palm on the flushed skin near your hip bone.

“You’re teasing me,” you breathe, rolling the man onto his back with a firm push to his shoulder. He goes easily with your touch. Instantly, you’re straddling his hips, blanket now pooling around his thighs. You’re wide awake as you take in Simon’s adorable, sleepy appearance. Dark hair splayed around his head.

“No, m’not,” Simon rasps, voice thick with sleep. His eyebrows are scrunched cutely, half lidded eyes staring up at you. The older man was clearly dead asleep.

“Yes you are,” you hiss playfully, leaning down to trail kisses up his neck and over his jaw. He sinks his nails into the tops of your thighs. A heady pulse of arousal shoots to your pussy as he grips you tightly.

“Nnngh! Sugar,” Simon whimpers, tilting his head. He sounds too sweet and you’re worried your pussy may be leaving sticky kisses on his pelvis from how wet you’re getting.

“You’re acting clueless, but I know it was on purpose, Si,” you murmur softly, pressing the words into his skin, lowering your mouth and sucking on the skin over his adams apple.

“I-oh gods, it wasn’t on purpose,” Simon chokes on a moan, arching his back slightly, base of his skull digging into the pillow.

“I don’t believe you,” you whisper in his ear, smoothing your hands up his chest & pinching at his perky nipples. Simon jerks violently underneath you, crying out. Your blood sings in response. You need his thick cock inside you now—or you might die.

You shift your hips backwards, fully intending on grinding your ass over his cock, but then Simon’s hands are gripping your waist frantically.

“Sugar—wait!” He gasps, trying to hold you still. You’re already grinding yourself down onto him as he speaks. Shocked, you feel that he’s, at best, only half hard. Stilling in his grip you glance back at his face. From what you can see, his cheeks are turning pink and he looks away from you shyly.

“You okay Si? Do you need me to stop?” You prod, feeling concerned you’ve done something he didn’t want. His gaze snaps back to your face, eyes wide. He shakes his head desperately.

“No! No, don’t stop lovely, I really am enjoying myself,” he pauses to worry his bottom lip, urging you closer to him with a soft squeeze to your hips. “You know that I’m quite older than you, right my dear?” Once both your hands are planted on the mattress by his head, Simon gingerly places his palm on your cheek to cradle it.

“I know Si,” you sigh happily, leaning into his touch.

“It’s a bit embarrassing, but…sometimes it’s a bit harder for me to get it up, even if I’m extremely turned on,” Simon admits, voice low & sultry. He rubs a thumb over your cheekbone. Your arousal burns with a vengeance.

“That’s not embarrassing baby, I..kind of think it’s hot I’ll have to do a bit more to get your cock hard,” you mumble, cheeks sweltering as you tilt your head to kiss his palm. Your belly warms, twisting harshly with arousal and shame.

Simon gasps softly in your mouth when you take it upon yourself to lean down, firmly kissing his velvety lips. He feels fucking amazing. You move together so smoothly, letting Simon swallow your sinful moans as his tongue pushes into your mouth.

Simon lets both his hands frame your neck, thumb pressing into the hollow of your throat. You whine as your tongues play together, Simon licking behind your teeth and suddenly you can’t take it anymore. You break apart slightly to breathe, chest heaving.

“M’gonna suck your cock Si,” you whisper breathily against his lips. Simon chokes on a breath. Determined, you start kissing down his chest. Pillowy soft lips brushing over his nipples before continuing downwards.

Simon squeaks from the attention to his nipples, fisting the sheets under him. You easily snake your way between his thighs, fingers hooked in the waistband of his briefs.

“Oh! A-are you sure my love?” Simon moans, feeling you kiss the sensitive skin directly above his waistband. You just hum, sliding his briefs down, purposely letting his half hard cock catch on the stretchy band. He sucks in air through his teeth as soon as his cock is free.

You almost drool over the way his cute dick slaps softly against his pelvis. Your pussy aches as you pull his underwear off all the way. Taking the chance, you also peel off the shirt you were wearing, tossing it to the floor. Simon flushes to his chest, staring at your tits.

“Your cock looks so cute like this Simon,” you croon, getting back onto your belly. The older man whines, titling his head down to watch you place chaste kisses on his shaft. The silky, warm skin feeling so good on your lips. You’re so turned on right now it almost pisses you off.

Making sure Simon’s cock stays straight the way you want, you nudge your thumb right up under the crown of his head—keeping his cock stretched slightly, pinned to his pelvis. Lazily, you place several kisses, letting his cock guide you down to his balls— where you lick the puckered skin of each one.

Simon yelps as you suck one in to your mouth, laving your tongue over it. The older man’s nails dig into the back of your skull, making your scalp tingle down to your neck.

“Please lovely, please, don’t tease,” Simon mewls, feeling you release his ball with a wet pop. His dick twitches a little under your thumb when you stare up at him with a wolfish grin. He’s a little harder now.

“So needy Si,” you tease, moving your hands to his thighs, swallowing down his entire semi hard cock in one go. Simon wails, hips jerking up as you teasingly pull your mouth back up his cock, sucking harshly.

You moan around him, starting a brain melting pace for him as you suck on his cock. Flicking your tongue over the head with each pass. Your eyes flutter shut, taking a second to appreciate the way he tastes.

Simon is panting harshly above you, whimpering and moaning. The delicious noises he’s letting out are making you want to squeeze your legs together for any type of relief.

Ignoring your own arousal for now, you keep up your pace for a couple minutes, feeling Simon writhing in your grip. He’s only a tad bit harder now but you don’t let that stop you. Your jaw aches, but you eagerly move a hand to his balls, kneading them between your fingers.

That..seems to do the trick. If only because the noise Simon produces sounds as if it was wrenched from his chest. You bob your head a few more times & suddenly he’s rock hard in your mouth. Cock hitting the back of your throat consistently as he rolls his hips to meet your movements.

Simon’s going insane—wiggling, whining like you’re torturing him. Back arching, trying to fuck your mouth. You would giggle if your mouth wasn’t full.

“Princess,” he gasps, pushing at your forehead. “Enough, please. I want to be inside you,” Simon moans, voice breaking at the end of his sentence. It’s like music to your ears and internally you pat yourself on the back for being able to get him hard.

Your lips pop off his cock with an obscene sound, watching it slap wetly against his lower belly. You could drool seeing how full and heavy his cock is. It glistens from your saliva. Pretty dick twitching under your gaze.

Urgently, you crawl out from between Simon’s legs flopping down on your stomach next to him. You turn your head to see his expression. His face is flushed, he turns his head to stare back at you, mouth open as he pants.

“Fuck me from behind Si, please??” You purr, desperately getting onto your knees and pushing your ass into the air. Letting your cheek squish on the mattress, the soft sheets warming underneath your skin. Simon groans as if he’s in pain. He vanishes in a flash, crawling around to get behind you.

You wait, knowing your pussy is drooling for him, clit swollen and throbbing—just wanting Simon to fuck the shit out of you.

“There’s no way I could say no sugar,” Simon croons. You almost could cry in relief, gripping the blanket below, fabric bunching in your fingers when Simon trails the pad of his thumb through your slick folds, thumb slippery where it circles your clit.

“Si don’t, please, I don’t need anything else—just fuck me,” you beg, wiggling your hips on his pelvis.

“Hush princess, you know I’ll give you what you want,” Simon teases. As he speaks, the tip of his cock parts your folds, slowly pushing his tip inside, stretching your pussy just the way you like—the anticipation of being filled is killing you.

A high pitched moan is ripped from your throat as he bottoms out in one smooth thrust. The pure pleasure of it rushes up your spine to your brain, pussy clenching around Simon as he carves out a space for his cock.

“Si, baby, you feel s’good,” you slur, nuzzling your face against the mattress. Nails dig into your fleshy hips as Simon moans lowly in his throat at your praise.

You’re absolutely not prepared for the immediate rough, fast pace that Simon sets. You howl his name as he starts yanking you back into his thrusts, pussy stretching to fit his cock repeatedly.

You’re in heaven, Simon’s actually fucking you. Usually he starts slower, building up to it—not this time. You’re absolutely loving it, having to muffle your near screams into the mattress as Simon perfectly hits your g-spot over and over. Each thrust sending waves of warm tingles shooting to the tips of your toes.

“Is—ah fuck, is this what you wanted sugar?” Simon grunts, unable to hold in his sweet moans.

“Yes! Fuck Simon!” You cry out, voice edging into a sob. He almost growls under his breath, the lewd sound of his pelvis smacking wetly against your ass, echoing through the room. Simon rests a dainty hand on your tailbone, guiding your ass back into his movements.

The sensual action forcing the familiar knot of an impending orgasm start to tighten up in your lower belly. Simon’s fucking you perfectly. You’re clawing at the sheets, pushing your ass back into his movements and it’s over.

Your heart is in your throat, pussy fluttering, and you don’t even have time to warn Simon before you’re cumming so hard your vision gets blurry. Entire body tensing up, warm waves of pleasure rushing through your limbs. No sounds escaping you as you’re worked through your orgasm relentlessly.

“Oh! Sugar, you’re cumming already? That’s such a good girl, give me another one, pretty please princess?” Simon breathes, asking sweetly. Completely opposite to the way he’s railing you. The man’s trying to rearrange your guts.

You nod against the mattress, chest sticky with sweat. Melting just a tad, your limbs become even more bendable as the overwhelming high of your orgasm fades to low buzzing pleasure. Simon sees the opportunity and takes it, pressing both hands into your lower back, forcing your spine into a deeper arch.

You inhale sharply. The new angle allowing Simon to press his cock even harsher against your sweet spot. He’s merciless and you know you’re re gonna squirt this time when you cum.

“Si, oh fuck, oh my god, m’gonna squirt!” Your lower belly tenses up, pleasure swirly hotly in your gut. There’s a pressure on your bladder intensifying to a sharp peak.

“Really? Oh sugar, I love it when you squirt, please do it for me,” Simon encourages eagerly, pressing harder on your sweat slick back.

“Simonnn,” you sob, dragging out the last syllable of his name. The older man gets his wish, because it only takes a handful of thrusts until you’re cumming again, toes curling so tight you think you may get a cramp. Hot liquid gushes from your pussy, showering the sheets below and decorating parts of Simon’s thighs.

“Princess, oh, oh my—,” Simon cuts off with a throaty groan, pushing his cock in all the way to the root, draping over your back as he starts to cum. You’re just starting to return to earth as you feel his cock twitch, filling you with sticky, warm cum.

You feel gooey, exhausted & overheated as Simon leans his weight on you. You push your knees out from under you so you both collapse to the mattress, letting out an oof as you land. Wincing, you feel the mess you made chilly against your thighs.

“Si, get off—you’re heavy,” you huff. Simon laughs, letting his soft cock slip out of you as he rolls off and onto his back. You stretch, sighing happily as the two of you lay in silence, soaking in the after sex glow for a few minutes. Simon’s voice cuts through the air.

“So, you really don’t mind about my, uh, issue,” he asks shyly, shifting to see your face. You gaze up at him adoringly, turning onto your side.

“I definitely don’t mind, I told you, I think it’s kind of hot. Makes me feel like I earned a reward,” you giggle, searching for his hand and lacing your fingers together.

“Mm, you’ll definitely have to spend the night more often. Maybe we could even consider becoming something…more than causal lovers,” Simon murmurs, squeezing your hand in return.

“I’d love that,” you whisper, chest blossoming with warmth. Simon grins sheepishly at you in return. Eventually, you two do get up, changing the sheets, before falling back asleep for the rest of the morning—looking forward to the sweet promise of the future.

[ultimate-blorbo-collector]

may I order a toxic winter king x reader. Preferably sfw

Okay, I was a little too excited to get this one, and I basically turned it into a list of ideas that could be possibly used for angst. Hope you enjoy.

There is also a good amount of Princess Bubblegum slander because of how the Winter King is meant to parallel PB. I love her and know she's grown, but I have to bring up her crimes and flaws here. It’s so hard not to.

Warnings: Overall toxicity. Toxic positivity. Boundaries aren’t understood and respected. Mentioning some of the things Princess Bubblegum did in Adventure Time (I just list some of the worse stuff. Everything else fits into another warning). Mention of manipulation and stringing someone along at the end.

I mostly write him as pretty wholesome in headcanons because of his charming persona, but the Winter King is not the best partner in Ooo for sure, and there are a lot of possible avenues for angst.

He showers you in attention and whatever you want, but he can very draining to be around.

He has the same issues our Simon does, for starters, but he’s also the definition of toxic positivity

He never wants to do what you want to do, but he so subtly talks you into it so that you might not even question it.

If you point it out, he genuinely doesn’t believe you. You wanted to go on the last adventures you two went on, right? Why didn’t you say so if you didn’t?

If you’re a magic user or have any kind of curse, he’s going to want you to just put it onto someone else like Candy Queen. He obviously won’t tell you that because he knows you’d hate the idea.

If he could, he’d do it himself even if you didn’t want him to, especially if your madness or curse gets in the way of his whole charming, fairytale king persona.

Even if you felt like you had a good balance with the madness or that the madness was a big part of you, he wouldn’t have any issue taking that away.

And he has good intentions. Even if you tell him why you’d want to keep the madness and why it’s important for you to have it, he genuinely thinks it’s better for you to not have it.

His cheerfulness can also be a bit much as well, especially if you feel bad. You could feel overwhelmed or just like you need to stop being sad around him.

He’d dismiss those feelings as well as whatever else you’re feeling.

I also think that since he’s meant to parallel Princess Bubblegum, he probably has a lot of the same issues she does, especially considering his lack of “bad feelings.”

I could easily see the Winter King doing more of the stuff PB had done in Adventure Time. Torture, genocide, spying on citizens, creating life without any thought into it, creating life that either is stupid or has no free will, etc. is fair game.

Unlike PB, I don’t see him going through the character growth she went through though.

PB and Simon both can be so goal-oriented and single-minded that they both forget to take other people’s feelings into account, so I imagine Winter King would also struggle with that as well.

The best case scenario for a difficult problem is also the most common: He either ignores it or pushes it onto someone else. He may even try to distract you so you can ignore it together

Worst case scenario for a difficult problem: He gets so into solving it that he ignores your feelings on how to solve it and goes in a selfish or less ethical direction.

And again with the PB parallels, I could absolutely see the Winter King stringing along someone so they would do what he wanted like how PB arguably did with Finn. You could argue that’s what he was doing with Fionna as well.

[raspberry-dounut]

hihi!! I saw adventure time on your fandoms list and was wondering if we could get anything about lee!simon? (once the curse is gone.) he's so silly and it would mean a lot

Nightmares

[TW: intense nightmares, references to PTSD, a& grief. And also, this is a tickle fic, so if this made its way into the main tags somehow, then I suggest you don’t read it if you’re not into that stuff XD]

Simon jolted awake, taking deep gasps of the cool night air in a shitty effort to stifle a scream. His heart was still pounding in his ears despite how quickly his breathing had returned to normal. It had been a nightmare, as it usually was, but this one felt different. He didn't want to remember it, but somehow he just couldn't shake it.

His heart sank into his stomach momentarily- he’d sworn he’d seen Betty, if just for a second.

“You guys… are still awake?” He was still a bit disoriented from his nightmare, but he thought he recognized those voices. As his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit barn, he could make out the shapes of Fionna and Cake, still awake and engaged in conversation.

“Well… yeah?” Fionna’s eyebrows furrowed as she awkwardly offered an answer.

“We wouldn’t expect you to understand, though. You’re old.” Cake chimed in with a shit-eating grin, completely endorsed in the game she had stolen from Fionna hours earlier.

“What were you dreaming about anyways?” She added, nonchalantly. “Getting it on with someone?”

The snide remark caught the older man a little off guard, as he found himself looking away to hide a deep red blush “Uhhh… I don’t really wanna talk about it, it’s- it’s private.”

His voice was quiet, almost a whisper, and the two of them exchanged a quick glance. It was clear something was bothering him, and neither of them were too keen on being left out of the loop.

“Suit yourself.” The cat shrugged.

“Was it a good dream or a bad one?" Fionna asked tentatively, her tone soft in a way Simon had never heard her use before. She was always the brash one, but something about the look in his eyes must have compelled her to be gentler.

“It’s— I don’t…” he started. All words seemed to fail Simon as he desperately searched for an answer

“it’s complicated.” Is what he settled on, trying in vein to hold off the weeping that usually followed after such intense dreams.

Fionna's eyes widened suddenly, but her expression quickly softened.

"Hey... it's okay. You don't have to tell us if you don't want to," she said, taking a step towards him. His reaction to her and Cake's joking response told her everything she needed to know about how serious the dream must have been.

“No, I—“ he knew keeping secrets from his (begrudging) teammates was useless. It would only make things worse for the trio as a unit in the long run. So he tried- he tried despite his distraught to explain it.

“When you get older… you, uh… sometimes we- I… my fiancé and I—“

“Woah!” Cake snickered and hummed a tune that resembled something you’d hear in a low budget rom com during a particularly spicy scene. “I didn’t think someone as boring and mundane as you would have fiancé!!”

Fionna merely needed to cast a gaze over her shoulder and Cake knew to drop the subject.

“Cake! That’s not funny!” Fionna snapped, though she knew she was partly to blame. She was never one to have a filter, knowing full well that most of Cake’s current habits could be easily traced back to herself. “What were they like?”

“No, it’s okay. She… was wonderful.” he said, almost dreamily. There was a clear passion and affection in his voice for whoever this mysterious woman was. “I still remember what cake toppers Betty and I wanted for our wedding!! And—“

“Simon!”

“Hm?”

“You’re crying!”

"I am?" With little hesitation, he let his fingers connect to under his left eye. His fingertips made contact with warm water. It was a shock at first, but given that Fiona had called him out on his sudden eruption of tears, he didn't jump at that. Still, it was a shock nonetheless. Weakly, he muttered out in a croak after his mind realized he was tearing up. "Oh... I am."

“Um, maybe we can ask big hunky Finn for some water? Or like, an extra blanket?” Fionna offered, racking her brain for a solution. Comforting someone who had clearly undergone some intense trauma wasn’t something in her toolbox- let alone said person being older in age.

Fionna attempted to wipe the tears away from Simon’s face, desperate to clear away his sadness and provide some comfort in a moment of pain. But the tears were streaming down his cheeks too rapidly, making it impossible for her to keep up with them. Despite her repeated efforts, his tears continued to fall, each one slipping past her fingertips and adding to the pool gathering in the crease of his chin.

“No, no it’s okay really… I think we’re overstaying our welcome, anyways.” He offered her a small smile- one that was cheaply sewn together with what little sanity he had left in his grief.

All she could do was look at him with concern. The years that had gone by showed in his features, bringing a deep sorrow with them. The events of his life were like a war zone within his eyes, the tears that stained them telling her the story of his pain.

“Oh! Hey!” Cake’s face lit up as the lightbulb went off in her head, evident in the face she made “you humans like to be pet too, right? You evolved from monkeys, yeah? So there you go!”

“Uhhh…” It was awkward- that was for sure. He often found himself forgetting that, as far as Cake was aware, all she’d ever known was the life of a domesticated pet. An animal companion that was doomed to tight collars and comedic holiday costumes, stuck within the confines of an apartment.

“Umm… n-no thanks, I’ll pass. I think I’m—“

A weight hit his lap, and Simon flinched halfway between a startle and being winded by the force, proving to him once again how old he truly was. Turning to glare at the source he found Cake sitting squarely in his lap. Simon looked down at the cat, completely confused and slightly annoyed. He was still a bit jittery from his nightmare- and her sudden self-invitation into his lap caught him heavily off guard.

“Humans don’t work that way- I mean, at least the humans in my time don’t...” He laughed a little, though it was exasperated one that held no humour, as he was once again reminded of the differences between the world he knew, and the one he was living in. “Our nerves are a lot different than yoURS—“

“Wahahahait!!” His attempted explanation fell on deaf ears as Cake had already taken matters into her own paws. When he instinctively jerked back, she swore he was an expert at exaggerating his reactions- being stroked was a clear sign of endearment to someone like her, and he’d ought to be glad she was showing him such appreciation.

“C’mon, I’m not hurting you!” Judging by the accusing glare he gave and the slightly different tinge of honey-coloured skin beneath his eyes. He was fine.

“Y-You’re not hurting me!” His face crumpled, eyes closed and smiling, as he tried to get a hold of himself. “You’re tickling me! Stoohahahaaop!”

“The humans from your world are so melodramatic!” Cake shook her head.

“stahahahap— hahahaa!! Yohohou ahahahahaasshohohohole!!” He squirmed, giggling in spite of his frustrated facade, his legs kicking softly beneath her hold as Cake's paws worked their magic- Being sprawled out on the wooden floor of someone’s barn, whilst fighting a losing battle with a magical cat wasn’t the best look for him, and definitely wasn’t a one he could pull off.

When the feline struck a particularly sensitive spot, he nearly screamed; it was half way between someone who’d been startled, and someone who just realized how truly sensitive they were- knees bucking upwards instinctively and just about hitting cake in the chin; had it not been for her new luck of the draw abilities. Despite his pleas, both Fionna and Cake both took note of the fact that he didn’t do much to stop his playful attacker.

Cake didn’t listen- mostly out of spite that he’d nearly kicked her, but mostly because his body language didn’t appear to show discomfort. Tutting, she then used her leg to hold down his hips. Being of feline heritage, Cake knew firsthand how awful it was to have one’s personal bubble violated, and if Simon was truly as uneasy as he’d claimed, she would have backed off; spiteful or not.

Instead, she snickered and danced her fingertips up and down the antiquarian’s sides.

"Oh nohohoaaaahahahaa!! Oh m-my gohohohoad!!” Simon hadn’t laughed openly in so long- too long. The sound coming out of his mouth was so foreign to his own ears and he couldn't recall the last time he’d laughed at all. Let alone like this; unrestrained, loud, and so completely genuine.

“Alright alright! I’m done.” She announced in triumph once she had deduced that he’d had enough.

When Cake had finally let up, Simon took the opportunity to enjoy the air- missing its presence and sucking it greedily into his lungs. Each breath he took felt sweeter than the last and after getting his fill of air, he finally sat up again.

“Are you okay?” Fionna inquired, putting a hand on his shoulder. He smiled back at her- and for once, in what felt like years, he could say that he was at peace; if just for a little while. “Do you feel… at least a bit better?”

“Yeah, yeah- I’m okay.” He offered her an answer and the girl smiled in return. He was still a bit giggly from the sudden attack but this time there was no forcing it, no faking the joy- and she was content with that answer in the moment. “I’m okay.”

It wouldn’t cure him, no. But at least it offered him some sort of temporary peace. Something that would last twenty four hours, if he was lucky- and realistically; a break, no matter how small, was something he needed.

“Get some sleep- some proper sleep!” Fionna hissed, grinning.

“Because you’re old!” Cake added.

“Yeah, whatever.” He rolled his eyes, the smile never leaving his face as he waved them off, speaking volumes on what he thought of their cheap jokes. He’d clearly eased up a little. They were right- he was feeling exhausted.

With a relaxed sigh, he settled back against the barn wall, closing his eyes and releasing a long breath as his muscles eased. His head began to tilt as he fought the urge to doze off momentarily, but soon the battle was lost and his chin rested against his chest.

[apple-jorts]

Look if no one else is gonna say it then I’ll say it:

I didn’t really like Gary and Marshall’s relationship portrayal.

Like, don’t get me wrong, I personally love Gary and Marshall and have nothin violently against them; I loved their meeting in ‘Winter King’, it was a cute and lovely side plot-! same goes with ‘The Star’- even if it was a little rushed it was generally cute.

But as in ‘Casper & Nova’, I started to have the same issue with them that I have with bubbline- where everything is abandoned in favour of one another.

It’s just kinda.. lame? Especially when Gary says like “We just met” (signifying NO time skip) and still being SO sure him and Marshall were made for one another… it’s very middle school romance cringe vibes. And when you look into it more, the more issues kinda arise from the pair.

Like… for example here,, Marshall and Ellis are clearly besties; they’ve been shown hanging out on multiple occasions, and are presumably pretty close. But since Marshall got with Gary, he has NO further interactions with Ellis? There was even a brief moment in ‘Cheers’ where the viewing party thought Ellis was just killed, and Marshall had no further emotion about it?? Like??? Dude that’s ur homeboy??? Also, with this being the second time Ellis has burst from a clothes pile in Fionna’s apartment, wouldn’t it occur to Marshall to maybe check for him?? This is clearly a reoccurring issue???

But abandoning social aspects in favour of your relationship isn’t necessarily the worst thing in the world.. but then there’s Gary.

It’s a sweet sentiment that in ‘The Star’ Gary sacrificed something near and dear to him just for Marshall’s well being, but let’s think about this for more than a second.

He had JUST met this guy, and this was his life’s DREAM he threw away. At the drop of a hat no less! His dream, which he has been planning out and perusing for god knows how long. This gives me generally the same vibes as Simon and Betty’s case, where something really special gets thrown away in order to peruse the relationship. It’s kinda icky.

I dunno, maybe I’m just a sick Marshall & Ellis fan who’s starving of interaction and am being bitter ab it, but I really didn’t like how Heart-Stopper, middle school romance cringe those two were built up to be,,, like those are two grown ass men and Marshall’s like “hold on, let me defeat this cosmic entity with a love song!” DUDE PLEASE I HATE U

[untouchab1e]

So with the Wayward Son vibe, I FINALLY read Carry On after months postponing it so here’s my takes no one asked for

This Simon kid is so edgy like just calm the fucking down boy it's just a train trip

I mean, who the hell gets into a cab and thinks about sleeping while a stranger drives you to a secluted location wtf

I wish i could use that taking away spell with the mess i do in my life

This whole Hogwarts vibe isn’t just me yes?

I known Penny for two pages but i'd marry her already Micah boy be damned

Who the hell is Lucy and why does this feels like a big foreshadowing

I would also eat butter with a spoon i can't judge this boy anymore

I want to know baz and baz didn't showed up yet where are you undead boy

Baz's name is so ridiculus i had to read four times to understand that simon's pov wasn't fucking with me omg

It does sound vampirey though

This teacher Simon likes it's creepy

This woods scene and how the fairy or whatever talks to Simon i love this thing

Harry-stalking-Draco walked so Simon-stalking-Baz could run

Is this a motherfucking Twilight reference

THE SEXUAL TENSION ON THIS SCENE THOUGH

"I don't think undeath would improve you, snow. It would just ruin your complexion." Hmmmmm

"You're the worst Chosen One to ever be Chosen." I mean, it could be me talking while a see the disaster that is Simon Snow or it could be this dark haired Draco Malfoy we will never know

This little children song it's fucking creepy i remember the first time i heard it was on a episode of csi Miami and it creeped me the hell out

Is davy the mage? I think so but i also don't know because at the first chapters the mage reminded me of Dumbledore so i don't trust this hoe

*hagrids voice* you're the bomb Simon

Oh the FIGHT

THE HANDKERCHIEF

I feel a little bad that i know the real ship here but i'm laughing anyway because Simon is so obsessed with baz like, kid i hate to break it to ya but you've been hooked

"if he weren't a vampire, baz'd be bloody perfect" oh im sure this one will come back and bite you in the ass

I hope literally

(i'd do anything to bring him back) oh

Oh he's so gonne and doesn't know sweetpea

Poor Natasha and the little Kiss? Is simon going to Kiss baz temple?? I NEED TO KNOW

Is lucie his mom she seems lovely (Hope this one does not come back to Bite me in my ass)

OH GOD BAZ IS IN DE HOUSE FINALLY

But also it's like 2 am should i just keep going

I just read baz first paragraph and i already love this drama queen and that's it i'm not sleeping apparently

Baz really is that bitch

“I am never telling anyone i was kinapped” I mean BOY WTF

"I'll take you to McDonald's" not to say it took me a second to realize she meant the fastfood chain but fionna's great

Omg he's worried about his class rank

about penelope passing him

Isn’t this the most Draco x Hermione shit i ever read

I love fiona

I love two Bros noticing the other is just too thin

Oh these two

"blue eyes. bronze curls. the fact that simon snow is the most powerful magician alive. that nothing can hurt him, not even me.that simon snow is alive.that i'm hopelessly in love with him."

HERE WE GO FOLKS THIS IS GOING TO HURT I JUST KNOW IT AND I LOVE IT

"i wish that i had never figure it out. that i love him."

Okay i get back what i said this Fiona is fucking sketchy

Baz is all like "god Agatha Just move i'm gAY"

Oh Jesus if i thought Simon was hooked, baz it's just fucking whipped

"Definitely more disappointed in my queerness than my undeadness" omg

Omg this poor thing has so much self hatred over being a vampire he actually hopes snow will kill him and will be all poetic and shit

I'm just waiting for the moment when simon will be like that meme 'i want to give him things!! Like blowjobs and self steem!!!”

Poor lucy

Omg baz is so worried that his soon-to-be-boo isn’t eating properly he brought snacks to the meeting: GOALS

Omg and he expecting Penny to be there to start the brainstorm i can't breath

Sir there's an actual dragon on the countryard

Oh wouldn't be poetic if the mage find out the thing he's been looking for is actually this vamp boy to hold Simon back

"i'm thinking violent thoughts at you constantly." bitch please you think about smuching his face

Oh he's so gonne

They are holding hands!! Peak romance

Okay, my mistake. Inviting your sworn enemy to spend the holidays with you: THIs is Peak Romance tm

Baz, baby, this is not how flirting with your crush works

Am i paranoid or Nicky sounds a lot like Nico you know

Oh never mind it's him

“Kiss him? Kill him? Improvise?” This is gay panic right here

Simon sweetheart did you just thought about hanging out with baz in libraries counts as a date

SIMON KISSED HIM

HE KISSED HIM BACK

Baz is a disaster gay i’m not even surprised

Oh god when Agatha finds out that all of baz fussing was because he liked simon she's gonna die

Oh aren't they already fighting like an old married couple

Penny will have a migraine when she realize she got the love triangle dinamic a little wrong

God Simon that was a low blow leaving with your ex right in front of baz’s salad

Oh never mind he came back

"i'm not a very good boyfriend." No shit sherlock

Simon you canNOT go around asking people if they're anorexic omg

oh dear davy is creepy as fuck

I feel like i cannot trust any adult of this book

Baz thinks Simon is criminally good-looking oh Jesus christ

"everything makes me want to kiss you." G o n e

"because we match" ooooownn

right from this moment on everything just went down the hill so i actually forgot to write my coments here but!! here’s my general idea of the last book i guess

i was so right to not trust davy what a fucking menace he is

i mean the idea of making the school more acessible to those with weak magic was great HOWEVER!!! try to force the coming of the chosen one by fucking sacrificing your wife’s and kid’s life it’s horrible

and he fucked everything thanks for that

and wtf how could he abandon a baby like that fuck you davy

snow being his middle name i almost cried, lucy was too pure for this world

after the failed ritual and simon giving up his powers everything felt a little too much rushed but who am i to judge

i really loved that baz came back to finish school, i wish penny and simon could have done it too although their reasons are completely valid

agatha deserves everything okay

i’m still heartbroken about simon though, he loved magic so much i really hope he can get a little back at wayward son

i just really liked the ending, i kept postponing it thinking there was some cliffhanger at the end so when i heard about the sequel i just kept there

so anyway i guess this weekend i’m reading wayward son because i liked the suffering