#silver shampoo for sale

[nebuladreamerrr]

Chicken wings| Kylian Mbappé x Fem Reader

Summary: A small forgetfulness forces you to have to turn to Kylian to buy you some things, without knowing the confusion it will create.

Warnings: English is not my first language, and I got the inspiration through various TikToks that had been in my fyp. 

You had been grappling with menstrual cramps for weeks, but recent stress had sidelined them from your attention. At work, tensions were high with the onset of the new summer season and negotiations with prominent designers to boost sales. Additionally, your impending departure from the country with Kylian had triggered a flurry of packing at home, as you prepared to store away memories and swiftly transform your new residence into a comfortable haven. Despite your financial ease, you couldn't avoid the tedious task of deciding which items should remain in Paris until the season's end – your computer and attire for scheduled advertising campaigns – and what to leave behind until you settled into your new abode.

The flurry of events had caused you to overlook purchasing a box of pads and tampons. Since childhood, your periods have been lengthy but thankfully not too painful. Knowing the possibility of your period's imminent arrival, you understood the importance of being prepared to prevent any unwanted mishaps.

As you woke up this morning and felt something slick between your legs, you immediately grasped what had occurred. Hastily, you rose to prevent any further mess, relieved to find the pristine white linen sheets on your bed untouched. Seizing the opportunity while Kylian was at training, you swiftly changed them and tossed them into the washing machine. Despite their cleanliness, the lingering discomfort prompted you to make the switch.

After completing all these tasks, you made your way determinedly to the bathroom within the master bedroom, only to gasp at the realization of your oversight. You had forgotten to purchase your feminine hygiene products, leaving you feeling almost resigned to waiting until Kylian returned from training and noticed the situation. Yet, barely fifteen minutes had elapsed before you acknowledged the impossibility of remaining idle for so long.

You reached for your phone in an attempt to reach out to some friends, but they were all occupied with work or away from Paris. You even tried contacting your mother-in-law, attempting to downplay the situation due to the embarrassment it caused. However, Fayza had to inform you that she couldn't assist you, as she was attending Ethan's match. Despite her willingness to come over if necessary, you didn't want her to miss her youngest son's game. Grateful for her offer, you politely declined before ending the call and opting to message your partner instead.

You were aware that he likely wouldn't check his phone until an hour later, once training was over, especially if they had an early session that day. So you began composing the message, struggling with how to phrase it, as every attempt seemed too embarrassing. You and Kylian were quite close, but you had never asked him to purchase a box of sanitary pads for you. You were almost certain he hardly knew the model or brand you preferred, as you kept them tucked away in the same cupboard where various soaps and spare shampoos were stored, along with his beard shaver—items he typically paid little attention to. After much contemplation, you settled on this message:

"Hey baby, I forgot there were no pads and tampons left. Can you stop by the supermarket after training to buy tampons and pads with wings. Thank you so much, je t'aime".

You waited anxiously, attempting to distract yourself by experimenting with various nail polishes that had been sent to you for collaboration—an opportunity you hadn't yet had time to explore. "Make the most of the time" you reminded yourself, striving to find a silver lining in the situation. However, your thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a notification from your partner: "Perfect, darling, I've just finished. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Fifteen minutes later, the sound of the door opening and footsteps ascending the stairs caught your attention. Yet, it was the soothing tone of your boyfriend's voice that truly lifted your spirits, pulling you from your reverie. Politely, he sought permission to enter before gently presenting you with the pads and tampons he had purchased, his greeting marked by a tender kiss. With a considerate gesture, he then exited the bathroom, affording you some privacy. Though accustomed to seeing each other unclothed countless times before, he intuited your desire for a moment to freshen up and alleviate the mild discomfort you were experiencing.

You were surprised to find wingless pads, but you guessed that Kylian might not have been able to find them and felt too awkward to inquire about their whereabouts or your preferred brand. After a lengthy, soothing shower and making yourself comfortable, you made your way to the living room, relieved to finally stand up. There, you found your boyfriend flipping through TV channels in search of something engaging to watch. His expression suggested he was having trouble finding anything appealing, so your arrival seemed to brighten his mood.

"Everything alright, mon amour?" asked your boyfriend as he tried to decipher your expression.

"Yes, thank you very much, darling," you replied as you settled down next to him on the couch.

"I was surprised you asked for wings, as you usually hate greasy food when you have your period. But I left the bag defrosting, assuming that's what my girl would like for lunch," he explained as he snuggled into your arms.

You tried not to laugh, but you couldn't help it when you realized how confused Kylian had been. Your sudden startled reaction prompted him to ask, "What's wrong, sweetie? You're scaring me."

You felt embarrassed, knowing that Kylian wouldn't let the topic go until you explained. So, reluctantly, you decided to address it.

"Sweetheart, I didn't ask for chicken wings, I asked for pads with wings. But it's okay, honey, the wingless pads worked just the same," you explained, trying to downplay the situation.

"What? I'm so sorry, I thought you were asking me for three things, I wasn't quite sure where..." But you interrupted him with a kiss because you knew it wasn't either of your faults.

"It's all right, Kyky. Let's look on the bright side - we already have food for today."

OMGGG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT. I know that this story is shorter than usual but it was the best I could do in the amount of time I had. Remember that requests are open in case you want to send any ideas but dw cuz I got a lot of ideas written down for when I have more time.

❤️❤️❤️

[cowplant-pizza]

hey guys this is a huge personal rant about my irl so if u dont wanna read it just scroll!!

so as some of u will know i am disabled with fibromyalgia, hyper mobility and also depression and anxiety.

i started a small biz to try to help bring funds in as i cant work a proper job (i was even told by my dr that working was out of the option)

im feeling doubly, even tripley sorry for myself rn because not only do i have a disability, but i have it so bad that i can’t even do what most people with this disability can do (work part time or even full time in some cases)

my disability took away my dream from working with animals because its such a labour intensive job

i saw a silver lining in creating my small business because it was something i was really passionate about and was actually doing really well

in 2020-2021 i made £21k which is a reasonable salary for someone with no qualifications (i had to drop out of school due to my disability) and also a small business in their first year of existing

however since covid has “ended”, and lockdown was lifted, my sales have plummeted. the following year i only made £4k

this year i’m sure i’ve made even less

i cant keep up with my business because i’m way too stressed about money. stress makes fibromyalgia waaaay worse for those wondering

i cant sleep at night. i have awful insomnia. but when i do finally get to sleep, i cant wake up. i describe it as a sleep coma. its like sleep is literally pulling a blanket over my head and suffocating me back to sleep. i actively fight with my body every day for the ability to wake up

once i wake up i have minimum energy. this is spent doing small everyday tasks like watering my plants, playing with my dogs, putting away laundry, showering ect. once those tasks are done, i’m spent. i could sleep again. i have no energy or motivation to work on my business

but some days i dont even have the energy to do those small things

i just sort of “zombie mode” along all day. time goes quickly and slowly at the same time

i thought i’d been awake like 30mins earlier but it had been 5hrs and my dinner was ready

i’m basically always confused and not with it. earlier i put a tissue on the side and my mug in the bin (still with cold tea in it) instead of the other way around. i put soap in my hair and shampoo on my body puff

i dont know what to do

i have a drs appointment on 16th but that was booked over a month ago and its only over the phone. i rang today to try and book another one (because you can only discuss one issue at a time), and opted for the callback service (if your past 5th in the queue you press the callback and keep your spot). i was 8th. i never got a call back

i honestly just feel like the entire world is against me

im trying to get an adhd/autism diagnosis because i know something is “wrong” up there but i cant even get a regular appointment let alone a referral

i get no support from my government. no benefits. i scored a 0 on my PIP interview. im going to try for universal credit but someone recommended waiting for my adhd/autism diagnosis to really push them to give it to me but, as i said, i cant get an appointment

im making about 50-100 per month

i dont see anything bright in my future

if you read this far honestly your a gem. im sorry for burdening this on your shoulders. i just needed to write it down and get it off my chest

[montagepop]

The Future of Sari-Sari Stores: A Sci-Fi, Dystopian take of Aling Nena's Sundry Store

Nothing fancy and a rushed ending-- this is a writing exercise that includes a spin on sci-fi from classic novels, and an attempt at middle-class Filipino humor. How many sci-fi themes can you spot?

---

Aling Nena’s Sari-sari Store: Year 2024 “Aling Nena pabili nga ng isang RC maliit,” said a round-bellied man, bending over to the tiny square opening of the store counter divider made out of chicken coop fence. Aling Nena’s sari-sari store was teeming with products big and small. All shelves filled with goodies. A string hung high, festooned with packets of soap, shampoo, and snacks.

Aling Nena reached down into the refrigerator for the RC bottle. She made a few strides to the counter and pulled out a silver bottle opener tied to the counter fence with a white garter. She popped the cola open and, with a swift action she had done countless times, let go of the bottle opener, allowing it to fall freely.

[Free falling bottle opener match cuts (ala 2001: A Space Odyssey) to a modern-looking cornetto as it drops onto a stainless scanning tray]

Aling Nena’s Sari-sari Store: Year 2517

An AI voice vibrated through the mini speakers, “Ikikikikikik?” (which, in Alien language, translates to, Is there anything else I can get you?) Though small, Aling Nena’s sari-sari store remained abundant with goods and necessities for sale. Hologram ads adorned the customer side counter, showing Aling Nena’s latest essentials for space travel.

The slim gray asked, “Ikikikik?” to which a replicant android responded with an AI-encoded information on the difference between Palmolive Green and Palmolive Pink. 

Throughout the rise and fall of regimes, the discovery of alien civilization, human colonization of earth-like planets, and a renewed human-replicant friendship, Aling Nena’s sari-sari store had stood open serving its local and intergalactic patrons. After all, with the depleting resources against the ever-evolving consumerist landscape, the demand for ‘tingi tingi’ selling was at its peak.

The bill of purchased items flashed before the telescreen. First distributed in Oceania, the telescreen monitored every movement of each patron that came by the store. The slim gray paid the bill with satisfaction, which the telescreen took note of for its record-keeping. At Aling Nena’s, they say, no customer should ever leave the store unhappy and unsatisfied.

Aligned with this ethos, Aling Nena's sari-sari store offered an array of eclectic services. Running low on funds? Simply list your purchases and settle the bill at a later time. Need to reach out to a relative light-years away? Use Aling Nena's ansible, a marvel of technology enabling instantaneous communication across the vast expanses of galaxies.

Aling Nena's sari-sari store has soared to new heights, with branches extending beyond the Milky Way and even a pop-up at the Colossus Marketplace. From its humble beginnings in Pateros, this beloved store now serves patrons across the cosmos, a testament to its enduring appeal and boundless ambition.

[triedandthoughts]

PHOTOS ARE TAKEN ON MARCH 2023 (some expired on or before March of 2023)

WHAT IS IT: Make up (I fell out of love with or don't really see myself using)

*** going to split this up per category ***

THOUGHTS:

                                            HIGHLIGHTERS

(right to left) Moone Beauty Glowgasm Duo in Celestial & Moonlight - Was fortunate to buy this at the height of Covid 19, as per the brand they would give a percent (forgot how much) of their sales to our frontliners. So me being me, I bought because why not? I'd be spending and helping at the same time lol. It sets really fast tho so be quick with the blending. I was so stoked that Manny MUA reviewed this product on his channel. Unfortunately, as time passes by, I don't really use highlighters anymore when doing my make up and both applicator fell when I used it the last time! Oops.

Colourette Cosmetics Shimmertint in Yellow Diamond - This is a great product when you don't want a blinding highlight and just a shimmer on you face the downside of this product is the packaging. It's an oil based product that when not is use it seperates hence the "shake me up real good" on the bottle. Honestly I used it more that the Moone highlighter it's just it takes time for the shimmer and oil to come together like I rolled the bottle on my bedroom floor when starting my make up, turned it upside down the stubborn shimmers are really stuck at the bottom.

Amisha Cosmetics Glow Tint in Angel - This was from a small business I saw on Tiktok first. It was really homemade that the product smells like a shampoo I used to use before. But the highlight! Was amazing!! Kinda comparable to the Fenty Beauty Diamond Bomb one but this one is more fuller? Idk if its the right word. Silver shimmers really pretty <3

[its-wharris]

SALE ALERT ! Take advantage of our 25% off and give your selfcare routine the quality it deserves with our products: DERMAVie Wholesale Price: $51.61 | Special Price: $38.71 DERMAVie pack Wholesale Price: $129.97 | Special Price: $97.48 3-pack Hair Growth Shampoo and Conditioner with Anagain Wholesale Price: $49.97 (each) | Special Price: $37.48 (each) Go to my cbdbenefitsgroup.myctfo.com/  to learn more and get yours! FREE to Join CTFO with an order of $45+, if this amount is not achieved, a membership fee of $29.97 will be applied in order to access the sale. *The 25% discount does not apply to any product packs including Silver, Gold and Platinum packs containing any of these specially priced products. The 25% discount will automatically be applied to SmartShip orders containing these products, and that are processed during the Sale period.*

[kakashibestie]

could u guys tell i was having a bit of a breakdown earlier dfkjgdfhgds

[andromedasummer]

thank god for my local beauty brand having nice quality cheap single shadows because i was not about to buy a whole $50 colourpop or morphe pallete for one light/dusty green shade

[sortagaysortahigh]

ive seen some discourse on this and zoot can you do a character analysis of eddie? like the way you used to break down obx characters cos a lot of the headcannons i see of him are kind of mean, classist, and just seem so off character

Hi bby, ofc i can do a lil analysis on eddie however comma im gonna need some time as i’m about to go to the store, but i can give you some of my headcannons i use when i write eddie (and i aim to write him as in character as i can), some are sfw and some are nsfw

Random Eddie Munson Headcanons (ft Fem/Afab reader):

Total teddybear, tries to act tough but we all know he’s a big softie

Always gives you a discount bc you’re pretty, then you find out he’s only been giving you that specific discount-esp when your friend tries to buy from him

Total flirt, always flirting w the person he’s crushing on, and you just know he makes nerdy references when he does it too

bonus points when the person acc understands his references, he just swoons, definitely a heart eyes type mf

He smells like weed, menthol cigarettes, and a sprinkle of drugstore cologne

He definitely uses the 3 in 1 mens shampoos, and its green apple scented. + this mf probably uses irish spring bar soap

I doubt he uses chapstick frequently, then when he starts dating someone he’s constantly using it bc he loves making out

When in doubt he’ll use some of his partners lip gloss and if anyone asks him ab it he just says ‘can a man not kiss his lover?’

Eddie Munson is TOUCH STARVED and his love language is physical touch

He’s always holding his partner somehow, or caressing their skin, or just pulling them close bc hes one of the ‘i wanna be in your skin’ mfs

Also definitely play fights and wrestles w his partner, and i mean he will tackle you onto his bed for funsies

He’s hella goofy, like mans will always try to make people laugh whenever they look upset, definitely the type to shove fries in his nose when you’re not looking then wiggle his brows bc hes a big ass kid sometimes (but we love that ab him)

This man WILL wine and dine you even if it means rushing to make as many sales as possible within 2 days bc he wants your date to be special

He’s smart, like mega smart, you cannot DM a game of DND without being incredibly smart and creative

He’s good at math (once again DND relies heavily on numbers + being a drug dealer means you have to understand numbers) but bad w high school english, not bc he’s dumb but bc he gets bored easily and doesn’t care

He definitely got the silver pig ring from his dad, he probably wears it bc he associates it w the few good memories he has w him

He stole the handcuffs on his wall from Hopper, he and Hopper actually have a decent relationship bc jim knew his dad and we all know Jim has a soft spot for troubled teens

He tells Hopper that he’s “the only cop i wouldnt call a pig”

Anytime he gets arrested he asks for the sheriff specifically and 9/10 times jim lets him go w a shitty warning

Speaking of those handcuffs-he swears he’d never use them on someone and when asked why he definitely gets flustered then mumbles out ‘i dont have a key’

Buys handcuffs specifically for being freak nasty, even puts the key on a necklace that he gives to his partner (which they wear everyday bc its engraved w their initials in a little heart)

He definitely keeps a little cardboard box under his bed full of nasty magazines, some are like typical playboys and the others are heavy metal, then he has some straight up fantasy prnos that he doesn’t remember buying but still cherishes (hint he stole them)

The five finger discount is his best friend, this man isnt a klepto but he grew up poor and his familial influenced were all criminals until he started living w wayne so yk, he be stealin shit from time to time

Definitely steals lip gloss, hair ties, or other small ‘essentials’ for you and says he thought of you when he saw it

He grabs your hips anytime you bend over and humps you, ive seen other ppl say this one and its 110% accurate

Also an ass smacker/grabber-especially in shorts and skirts, but if its a skirt he slides his entire hand under it to grab your ass bc he will always be your lil pervy boyfriend

EDDIE MUNSON IS A BISEXUAL KING

Total perv, probably bc hes touch starved and just rlly into everything ab you. Looks up your skirt and down your shirt any chance he gets

I hate to say it i rlly do but i think he has a foot fetish, ive met my fair share of eddie munsons and they usually have foot fetishes

definitely asks you what color panties you have on while winking + panty thief + jerks off w your used panties

Hes 110% a switch, he likes being in charge but he loves it when you smack him around and pull his hair and deep down he likes begging for more

Ppl always go back and forth on fav sex positions but i just know in my soul he loves cowgirl, whether youre doing all the work or hes fucking into you, he just likes looking up at you bc “you look like a goddess”

He eats ass. I will not elaborate because i know im correct.

King of eating pussy in his van, anytime anywhere it gives “ill pull over rn” and hes deadass, he’ll even make you get on your hands and knees so he can eat it from the back when you two just finished arguing bc “i cant look at you rn” while he’s knuckle deep inside you w his tongue on your pussy

He’s a biter, and i mean sexually and just in general, he’ll leave bite marks on you during sex but even throughout the day he gets cuteness aggression and just be nibbling on you like a fuckin weirdo (we love him for that)

Flirts w your mom/dad to make them like you, usually he leans more towards your mom but will definitely slide a few compliments in to your dad

Puts a hand over your mouth so he can go down on you when he’s at yours and your parents are home or he gags you w your own panties (love our pervy king)

Only lets his partner touch his hair, he also cuts it himself every other saturday

Bonus for my poc readers: he oils your scalp!!!!!!! OR you start oiling his hair and he loves it when you do his hair, even makes an entire day out of it

Tries to get you to play DND, even designs little one shot campaigns for you to join in on and youre most likely playing w Dustin and Erica bc he said “they wont get frustrated with you”

When Dustin does get a lil frustrated when youre first learning Eddie lets Erica talk shit to him bc she has your back

OR If you already know how to play DND he swoons at your feet, definitely wants to beg you to join hellfire, practically makes it his mission and life purpose (esp if you arent dating yet)

He wants kids but he doesn’t know when, probably has doubts ab being a good dad bc “Munson men aren’t exactly angels” but w some reassurance and cuddling he feels better ab it

Definitely hates the idea of working a 9-5 for the rest of his life but would do it if he had a family and they needed him around.

All in all Eddie Munsons such a simp

[thegetoufather]

RINSE N’ REPEAT • JEAN KIRSTEIN

jean kirstein x f!reader

w/c: 700

warnings: minors and ageless blogs DNI, no smut but its suggestive as hell

a/n: happy trails my beloved <3 yes this is the crack fic i promised, i have no damn regrets. and yes, jean’s middle name is a reference to my old blog, what about it?

“Why did you buy these?” Jean asked, fishing through the bags you had brought home from your shopping trip.

“They were on sale!” 

“So travel sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner were on sale…..and you bought 15 of them. Each,” he states, looking at the myriad of silver bottles in front of him.

“Yep!” You reply, popping the p as you put away the rest of the groceries.

“Babe.” The voice is louder now, and you turn around to run smack into his chest. He’s frowning down at you, one of the bottles looking even more minuscule in his large fingers.

“This is OUAI. That never goes on sale. I would know, I —”

“You spent a whole year saving up your allowance to buy the shampoo at 16, yes, I know, Jean.” You interrupt, finishing the story he’s told you about only a million times before.

“Are we going on vacation then? Because this is the weirdest way to break that surprise.”

“No! I just —,” you pause, reaching over to grab his free hand before batting your lashes to butter him up. “Promise you won’t get mad, please?”

“Baby,” he coos, “I’d never be mad at you.”

“Aww,” you smile, reaching up to peck him on the cheek before you deliver the final blow.

“Your happy trail is kinda rough, so I bought these as the solution.”

Jean blinks slowly, and you can practically see the steam coming out of his ears as he processes how you spent over $500 on shampoo for his body hair, and how you look entirely nonplussed with this decision.

“What.”

“You heard me! You, Jean Beau Kirstein,” you emphasize, poking a finger into the dip of his pecs, “Can be one prickly bastard. And that's not about your personality.”

“So all of this,” Jean sputters out, gesturing wildly behind him to the plastic bag on the table, “Was the solution?”

“Yep!”

“Why do we need this much?”

“Don’t ask me that question as thought we don’t fuck nearly every other day. Because of you, I might add! It’s a miracle I don’t have rug burn by now.”

Jean’s brows knot, eyes widening in disbelief as he watches you defend this, and you can sense the wound of his ego pouring into the atmosphere.

So naturally, you rub salt in it.

“Look,” you remark, snatching the bottle from him. “This would be like, one wash per bottle? So it's perfect. We don’t have to worry about overshampooing, it's almost like it comes in a dose.”

“Overshampooing?” The last syllable comes out cracked. “I don’t even use that much shampoo to wash my hair. The one on my head, mind you!”

“Oh really? Maybe that’s why it’s been looking duller lately.”

Jean sighs, running his hands down his face before he looks back at you. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what again?”

“Pushing my buttons on purpose again, why do you like doing this to me?”

“Because I love you, silly.” You giggle, lifting the hem of his shirt to expose his abdomen. You rake your nails across his abs, eliciting a small whimper as your fingers run through the tawny hair. 

“And this too, despite the way it pokes my nose feels like when I go down on you.”

“Is it — really that much of a problem?” He asks, softer this time as he hears you out.

“Sometimes. I don’t see how this solution could hurt.”

“I could shave,” he proposes.

“I will fill a restraining order on you if you even think of that.”

“Alright!” He acquiesces, throwing his hands up in surrender. “We’ll try it out. But do we need all of these to do that? I have the large bottle, I could just —” 

The sentence falters when he moves to cup your face, thumb rubbing on your cheek softly, the move he pulls when he tries to get his way. But when you smile deviously into his palm, he knows he’s fallen for another one of your traps.

“I knew you would buy that story!” you laugh, “You should have seen your face!”

“God damn it! Then what are they —”

“Bachelorette party favors. For Historia,” you explain. “Don’t worry, Ebenzer, we are splitting the cost of all of this on Venmo.”

“But, one bottle is for us though.”

thx for reading! plz don’t recc this on tiktok.

© all rights reserved THEGETOUFATHER 2021. please do not copy, modify or repost my work.

taglist: @asilentshout @aiiwa @yvvji @glittrkink @sunshinedragonofthewest @jean-prettyboy-kirschtein @ereh-simp @geektastic84 @quirksynopsis @cyancherub @simpingfor2dm3n

join my taglist here!

[hell0mega]

2222 deuces wild

20 hoo hoo, let's learn about owls

20 hooty-hoo, let's learn about Outcast

20 boppity-boo, be the magic

Carl Daniels

Carl Daniels' kickass year

____: a good year for Carls

____: it was a great year for Carls

20 cummies 2

20 whoopty-do, who cares/gives a shit

20 yummy stew, something's cooking!

20 yummy stew, what's cooking (good looking)?

20 yummy stew, toss an onion in

20 yummy stew, mix it up

20 yummy stew, put it in the pot

20 yummy stew, let it simmer

20 20 20 20 20

20 20 20

20 20 20!!

20 funny shoes, an odd pairing

20 venti brew, OH that java!

20 skies of blue, anything is possible

20 coming through, clear the way

20 coming through, emerge into your power

20 coming through, e m e r g e

20 runny goo

20 sun tea view, porch life! (???)

banjo 20 kazoo, (banjo kazooie noise)

20 scooby doo

20 lookie-loo, on the horizon

20 mummy crew, back from the dead

20 mummy crew, rise again

20 mummy crew, straight out the tomb

20 mummy crew, rise my love

20 mummy crew, sarcopha-get it

20 mummy crew, lying in wait

20 mummy stew, put it in the pot

20 mummy crew, together we rise

20 mummy crew, pyramid dreams

20 mummy crew, under wraps

20 mummy crew, wrap it up

20 view-askew, let's meet Kevin Smith

20 mummy crew, disrupt the tomb

20 mummy crew, buried with cats

20 running shoe

20 cunning shrew

20 mummy crew, shame the grave

20 mummy crew, death is only the beginning

20 do the dew, brought to you by Mountain Dew™ Baja Blast™

20 Long John Silver's, enjoy a crispy fish

20 barbeque

20 black and blue

20 cordon bleu, cookin fancy

20 something blue, tie the knot

20 deja vu

20 broader view

20 point of view

2020 dieu, second chances

2020-2, a year of sequels

20 peak-a-boo, here we are!

20 pikachu, electric mouse

20 electric boogaloo

20 pikachu, don't evolve

20 rendezvous, good evening

20 rendezvous, hello there~

20 rendezvous, in/to the veranda

20 rendezvous, i see you there

20 rendezvous, a nighttime affair

20 rendezvous, a night to remember

20 rendezvous, a walk to remember

20 rendezvous, meeting in person

20 Jenny Sue, you get on out to that corn pasture feed them piggies

20 peggy sue, oo-ee-oo i look just like buddy holly

20 oo oo oo, YUM-OH!

20 oo oo oo, a spicy one

20 oo oo oo, do-wop's back

20 switcheroo

20 tried and true

20 dr. drew, he sucks now

20 you should sue, get your justice

20 more bamboo, it's sustainable

20 kangaroo, put it in the pouch

20 kangaroo, jump on it

20 revenue, maximize your earning potential

20 racing crew, it's about family

20 more fondue, make it cheesey

20 sudoku, line 'em up

20 pay-per-view, all our episodes cost 1 dollar

20 misconstrue, say that again?

more for me and you

20 just for you

20 not for you

20 new tattoo

20 money's through, time to become a crypto lord

20 sun tea view

20 rise of gru

20 baby shoe, for sale, never worn

20 IOU, we will give the next year a much better name

20 IOU one good year name

20 IOU one hour of your life back

20 mummy stew, people used to eat mummies

yummy mummy brew

20 new shampoo, gotta try something/something's gotta change

20 new shampoo, something's gotta give

20 tummy goo, what's on- what's on- what's that on your- whadyou got on your tummy?

the upset tummy crew

20 old U2, you just listen to Joshua Tree

20 no taboo

20 in review

squirty-cummy-goo?!

2023, off the rails

2023, take a pass

2023, looking forward

the deuce

the double deuce

20 tutu, ballet time

mmxxii, mix it up

20 big league chew

20 breaking through, emerge

20 talking to, sit down. you fucked up.

20 rendezvous, trading secrets

20 rendezvous, there's been a murder!

20 mummy crew, wrap it up (but different)

20 rendezvous, get organized. organize. do it. seize the means of production

20 rendezvous, stronger together

20 rendezvous, strength in numbers

20 mummy crew, strength in numbers

20 mummy crew, THE TIES THAT BIND

20 mummy crew, wear your heart

20 busting through, oh yeah!

20 we've been sued

20 what's this do? mysterious buttons

20 rendezvous, show yourself

20 big debut

20 rendezvous, have a ball

20 rendezvous, time to conspire

20 rendezvous, meet me in the dark place

20 rendezvous, clandestine moment

20 rendezvous, a secret...... kiss

20 rendezvous, stolen moments

20 rendezvous, a kiss for us

20 rendezvous, every kiss is a gift

20 rendezvous, hidden passions

20 rendezvous, making memories

20 rendezvous, fight the break of dawn

20 rendezvous, till the sun comes up

20 rendezvous, slappin' bodies together

20 rendezvous, the night is young

20 rendezvous, we'll always have Vienna

20 rendezvous, remember Fiji?

20 rendezvous: fancy night/a night of fancy

20 rendezvous, i haven't seen Marcus in years

20 rendezvous, there's only tonight

20 rendezvous, a fancy fantasy

20 rendezvous, fancy takes flight

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

Ch7: Eight Letters, Three Words, One Meaning

Summary: Katie and Steve’s relationship is blossoming, but they’ve still not come out to the rest of the team. Well, not yet anyway…

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Warnings: Bad language, spiders (yeah, okay, I need a warning for those eight legged freaks) Smut (NSFW, 18+)

A/N: More credit to my edit partner, @angrybirdcr​

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Chapter 6

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

June 2013

Katie was trying to listen, she really was, but the warmth of the June sun was lulling her to sleep, despite the fact she had only gotten up two hours or so ago. She was trying to focus on the intelligence that had come out of the Department of Damage Control, that a Warehouse in Columbia was housing a load of the alien based weapons for sale on the black market.

Maybe if she just closed her eyes….

She found herself daydreaming. About her favourite thing to day dream about. Steve. It was now five weeks since they had started dating and two weeks since they had been caught by Tony. Since then they’d spent pretty much every other evening wrapped around one another post making out. Sometimes it would just be a bit of heavy kissing, sometimes there would be a little more. Like when he had lain over her on the bed, kissing her neck, lips, chest, before slipping his hands into her panties for the first time as he’d coaxed her to completion that way before she’d returned the favour, wrapping her palm around him, bringing him off.

And then yesterday had been her birthday, which had brought her one hell of a present.

Katie had been on at him for as long as she could remember for a ride on his motorbike so, amongst other presents, Steve had Clint help him research the best helmet he could get and he’d bought her one, much to her excitement. She’d squealed and then squealed some more when he had revealed they were off out for the afternoon. He’d packed an evening picnic and taken her up to Rock Creek Park where they’d eaten subs, muffins and were now laid back on the blanket, her head resting on his chest.

“Your hair smells different…nice different…” He nuzzled his nose into it.

“Oh, it’s a different shampoo…” She grinned “It was in the hamper of ridiculously expensive toiletries and make-up that Tony sent me. Or should I say Pepper, as he will have had no idea about any of that stuff…”

“Smells of cookies.”

“It has oatmeal in so you’re not far off.” She smiled, looking up at the sky.

The pair of them stayed still, his hand straying into her hair before he broke the calm silence.

“You know, when I was a kid…me and Bucky used to play a game, spotting shapes in the clouds” he said

“Tony used to do that with me.” she smiled, shifting her head so that the back of it still lay across his chest but she could see upwards “See, there’s a dog…”

“Looks more like a cow to me…” He cocked his head to one side.

“A cow?” she snorted, “Where have you ever seen a cow look like that?”

The two of them stayed like that for another hour or so, playing shapes and making conversations before the sun began to stray behind the trees. Reluctantly Katie agreed it was probably time to go home.

“I’ve had,” she undid the strap on her baby blue and silver helmet, pulling it off with a flourish as she stepped off the bike outside her apartment, “the most amazing birthday, thank you…”

She reached up and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it doll.” He said gently as she reached into her back pocket for her key card. Smiling he dropped his hand to her waist as they walked to the elevator. When the doors opened, Katie tugged on his hand gently and led him in after her. Once in her apartment, he allowed just enough time for them to remove their jackets and for Katie to hang her new helmet in pride of place on the hooks before his lips crashed onto hers, the kisses growing deeper, and he hooked his hands round the back of her thighs and easily picked her up. She giggled, wrapping her legs round his waist, her nose brushing against his as he carried her up the stairs, dropping her gently on the bed. She spread her legs making room for him so he could settle his hips in between the space they made as she wrapped her arms round his neck, his hands gently running up the side of her ribs, pulling off the t-shirt she was wearing, cupping her face in his hands. He let out a soft moan as her hands started to slide down his chest and it was clear she had intentions of using her hands, if not her mouth as well, on him again but that wouldn’t do, not on her birthday.

“Uh-uh not tonight baby girl.” He said, gently grabbing her wrists.

She frowned and looked genuinely pissed off that he was stopping her. As she pouted at him, he simply smiled “It’s your birthday, after all.” He whispered into her mouth before setting her hands down on the pillow on either side of her head before turning his attention to her chest, sucking and biting through her bra, listening to the sounds she made right by his ear. He continued his affections downwards, pressing small kisses all the way down her body until his nose was skimming along the waistband of her jeans. She let out a groan of delight as he brought his hands up to undo them and started guiding them down. 

The idea of tasting her like this had been on his mind since she had first done it to him but he was utterly lost, with no idea on what to do next. He glanced up at her, swallowing slightly and instantly understanding that he needed encouragement, Katie reached down to tangle her fingers in his hair, raising her hips to help him remove the jeans and her underwear. She knew he had never done this before, but now, as she gently bent her knees to allow him access she heard him let out a soft moan of his own and watched him as he snuck one glance up at her and then set his mouth on her.

It took a while, her guiding him gently, telling him what she liked, what was working and what wasn’t but she didn’t really have to give him too much direction. What he lacked in skill he made up for with dogged determination and eventually, her breathy directions died in her throat and then she was moaning and writhing in pleasure as his mouth worked her over, one hand in his hair and the other gripping the sheets. Her sweet, salty tang on his tongue set every nerve in his body on edge and the more he tasted the more he wanted.

Katie could hear and feel him groaning with each lick and suck he gave her. He was aroused, really aroused and surprised to find the warm feeling across his stomach was getting harder to ignore the more he worked her. When he focused his attention back on her little bundle of nerves, licking at it before closing his lips around it and sucking it into his mouth she was done. Her body convulsed, her back arched and she let out a strangled cry, his name on her lips and it made him slightly smug to hear. Steve held her down gently, one strong arm over her small waist and as her hand gripped his hair harder and she groaned brokenly once more, he felt himself go, tipping over the edge and he shuddered gently as his own release washed over him. Katie pushed her hand into his hair, having become too sensitive, gently moving his mouth away from her. Taking the hint, he obliged, kissing his way back up her body, pressing his mouth onto hers.

“Good?” He asked breathlessly, staring at her, seeking confirmation despite the fact she lay completely and utterly undone beneath him.

“God, yes.” Her voice was gruff, as she kissed him, the fact that he could still clearly taste her on his tongue meant that she would be able to too, and the fact that she didn’t care made him shudder, though that also might have something to do with the mess he’d once again made in his pants like a horny schoolboy.

As they kissed she began to trail her hand back down his chest reaching for his buckle but he stopped her again, pulling away.

“I err….” he trailed off, dropping his head slightly embarrassed. But he needn’t have been. The fact that he’d gotten off on giving Katie what was, frankly, the best orgasm she could remember having made her grin and she cocked her head to one side as she eyed him, tipping his head up to look at her.

“Best birthday present ever.” She smirked, drawing a laugh from him before he kissed her again.

“Agent Stark!” Fury barked, jerking her awake. Damned, had she actually fallen asleep in briefing? Steve was perched on the edge of Fury’s desk, and Katie could tell he was fighting to keep a smirk off his face.

“Sorry Sir, didn’t get much sleep last night.” She avoided looking at Steve as she spoke, her mouth tugged upwards at the corners.

Besides her she heard Clint give a snigger which he hastily turned into a cough. Of course he knew about the pair of them. Him, Natasha and Evans being the only people on the team that did although Katie and Steve had both admitted they didn’t really know how much longer they could keep it clandestine.

“So as I was saying,” Fury shot Katie another look as Natasha played along, patting Clint harshly on the back. “Salaad Ali.” Fury pointed at the picture of the main man responsible for the arms ring we had been tracking over the middle East . “Do we know much about him?”

“He’s a sick bastard” Clint sat up, suddenly all business. “Came across him on an op in 2009. Apparently when he was active as part of the regime under Sadam Hussein he was tasked with taking out a Kurdish fighter cell that was stockpiling munitions. He was undercover for a month. Then one night he kidnaps a guard, peels off the skin from his right hand, completely, and wore it like a glove to gain access to their stores using the biometric scanners.”

“That’s about power.” Katie took a breath as she rose from her seat. “Mocking and goading the people who he’s stealing off. Look at me, not only did I infiltrate your organisation, I maimed your security guard in the process.”

Fury invited her to take the floor and she stood up and spoke confidently. “From what I’ve read he’s obviously an organised offender.” Steve had to smile, before she had trained as a sniper after Clint had discovered she had a natural eye for a shot, she had joined STRIKE as a Mission Analyst-slash- Target Profiler. And she was good at it. “He’s sophisticated in his approach, and is a meticulous planner.”

“You have to be to pull off the sort of crimes he has, these are big jobs.” Clint said. Katie nodded as she paced slightly, the way she always did when she was thinking.

“I also believe from the other things he has allegedly done, the murders, rapes…he’s a control freak, a sadist, type of person who will always want the last word in the argument so to speak. Therefore, if he knows someone is on to him, he won’t come quietly.” She stopped by Steve and looked at Fury, then round the room at the assembled team. “We should be prepared for a fight. And they’ll be fighting to kill, not wound.”

“Can’t the air force just blow the place up?” Rumlow asked as Steve adjusted his stance slightly, his hand’s dropping to the buckle on his belt as he studied the man before his attention turned to Fury.

“If it was that simple we would have already sent in an air strike.” The Director shook his head, pushing a button to show a map. Besides him, Steve felt Kate shift a little and he stole a glance at her to see she was concentrating on the screen,  her chin resting on the closed fist of her left hand, elbow supported on her right arm which was crossed over the front of her body. Steve watched as her eyes flicked over the details and he turned to the screen as well, immediately spotting what the problem was.  

“There’s a civilian village less than five hundred yards away.” He sighed. “That place goes up so do they.”

“Exactly.” Fury nodded.

“Not to mention those weapons are really volatile.” Katie took a deep breath. “If they have as many as we suspect, then if they go up, it’s gonna leave one hell of a hole.”

“Which is why you need take the base and clear out the weapons.” Fury nodded. “And bring Ali in, I have some questions for him before we turn him over to the Authorities.”

*****

They decided to operate under the cover of darkness, to give them the element of surprise. Once they had some form of plan- a heat scan as they hovered over the building told them how many people were in the building and once they had established that they moved in. They operated as a well-organised unit, quickly and meticulously flushing out the hostiles.

It was all going too smoothly, especially as Ali was still in the building. Capturing him was surprisingly easy, even if it was Natasha that found him. In hindsight, that should have been a warning sign they probably should have spotted. As Rumlow and Natasha were leading him away, the team already having dispatched the rest of the hostiles, Steve, Clint and Katie headed deeper into the warehouse to locate the weapons themselves when, just as they found a hidden room off the main service corridor, there was a loud clicking noise and Clint stopped dead.

“Shit.” He muttered and Katie wheeled round and he held his hand up to her. “Don’t move.”

“What…” Katie followed his gaze and swallowed when she saw his foot resting over a small metal pad on the creaking floor boards of the first floor room they were in.

“Yeah…we have a problem.” Clint sighed, looking at her then to the Captain “Should have seen that one coming.”

He’s the type of guy that will want the last laugh, so if he knows someone is on to him, he aint coming quietly

Steve scanned the floor and spotted another trigger a few feet away from Katie. Pulling her to the left away from it he looked around the room.

“What’s going on?” Rumlow asked over the coms.

“The son of a bitch has the place rigged.” Clint wiped his brow “ I’ve triggered some kind of sensor pad.”

“If he’s laying traps in here then the weapons have to be nearby…” Steve said, as Katie dropped to her hands and knees, torch shining through the dirty, well-worn floorboards.

“The device has to be under here…” she said, and she began to follow the wire across the floor, keeping her eyes peeled for more booby-traps, as Steve carefully made his way into a small room off to their right avoiding another trigger as he went. His eyes scanned the various crates of the familiar shining metal weapons and he sighed.

“Found the jackpot…”

“So have I.” Katie said, stopping crawling as the wire ended. She could just about make out the metal box, a red light flashing ominously through the gaps.

“Ok, we’re coming to you.” Rumlow spoke again

“No!” Steve hastily turned and walked back into the main room. “We don’t know how many of these he has laid around the place. Wait for my instructions.”

He glanced over at Clint who was stood, motionless, his eyes focussed on his foot.

“Barton, you okay?”

“Peachy, Cap” he said, looking up “Guess my Hawk eyes let me down”

“Happens to the best of us.” Steve looked at him as Katie stood up, pointing to her foot.

“It’s under there.”

“How big is it?” Steve asked.

“It doesn’t matter how big”. She said gently “It explodes then those weapons go up…” She trailed off.

And Clint dies no matter what, and as they wouldn’t ever leave a man behind, so did they.

"We need to start evacuating civilians.” Steve took a deep breath, “Rumlow…”

“We can start clearing the village but how many we’ll clear before-“

“Do what you can.” Steve cut him off. “Romanoff, have a chat with our prisoner, see if you can get him to talk, tell us how we turn this thing off”

“Yeah, not gonna happen.” She replied, not a trace of her usual biting sarcasm in her voice. “He’s out cold. Suddenly decided he didn’t fancy being captured after all and got a bit rough on the way up. I had to take him out.”

“Shit.” Katie muttered as Steve let out a long sigh, turning to face her as she stood, thinking something over. It wasn’t a great idea, but was the only chance they really had. So she decided to roll with it.

“Can you help me get the floor boards up?”

“Won’t that disturb the bomb?” He asked, frowning a little.

“Not if you do it here.” she moved about six foot to her left. “I can get underneath, see if I can disable it.”

Steve looked at her, then to Clint before sighing. It didn’t look like they had a choice.

“Alright.”

A minute later, Vibranium shield and steel knives had worked their magic as Katie and Steve had prised a space big enough for Katie to lower herself into, head first, torch in her mouth, phone held in front of her, on her stomach. She crawled over to the bomb and looked at it.

“It’s on a fucking timer too!” she sighed, swallowing as the timer had less than 5 minutes on it.

“How long?” Steve asked.

“Long enough…” she said, deciding not to tell them. She snapped a photo before dropping the torch to the boards beneath her so that it illuminated the dark space in front of her.

“Someone patch me through to Lawson …now.” she spoke

Less than forty seconds later Lawson’s British accent hit her ear.

“Nova.” he said.

“We have a situation.” She spoke calmly, although she was anything but. She didn’t like tight spaces at the best of times and there was a huge spider sitting to her right. And she fucking hated spiders. And she was facing a bomb, now with three minutes left on the clock. Swallowing her fear she sent the photo to Lawson’s computer, her hands shaking “Hawkeye triggered this, can we disarm it?”

A moment’s pause.

“Yeah, we can. I can talk you through this…”

Steve swallowed and looked at Clint, the man seemed surprisingly calm considering, but then he was used to staying still for long periods of time on stakeouts. He gave Steve a slight shrug and the Captain looked back to the hole Katie had shimmied into.

“You’re gonna need a knife or something sharp to cut the wires”

“Got it.” Katie wriggle to free the standard issue Swiss Army Knife which contained every single gadget known to man from her thigh pocket.

“Ok so first thing is first, you’re going to need to lift it out slightly to get to the wires ok. There should be 3…blue, white and red….but this is important Stark so listen.”

“Listening”

“The blue wire has to remain intact and in contact with the sensor under Hawkeye’s foot. So don’t cut it or pull it ok?”

“Don’t pull or cut blue, right.”

“You need to gently lift it out towards you, watching that blue wire, and turn it to the side so you can see the red and white wires…”

Taking a deep breath, with trembling hands she gently reached out and slowly, carefully turned the bomb to the side, letting out a small squeak of fear as the huge black spider moved closer.

“You okay?” Steve asked, hearing her noise.

“There’s a spider in here the size of a fucking Chihuahua.” Her voice was a slightly higher pitch than normal. Steve sighed, any other time her fear of spiders would amuse him. Not now.

“It’s gonna be more scared of you than you are of it.” He tried to placate her, but as he spoke he knew that was utter bullshit.

“ Lawson…I’ve got it…what now?”

“Cut the white wire first and then the red.”

Katie took a deep breath, her hands really where shaking now, and she took a deep breath trying to focus, ignoring the timer which was now counting down from one minute thirty. She reached out with her left to hold the white still and her right clutched the knife as she went to work. The wire was tough but in 3 cuts it was severed. She moved to do the same to the red, but on the third cut the knife slipped and slashed into the palm of her left.

She let out a yell of pain. “Shit”

“Katie?” Steve dropped to his knees, trying to see into the space but all he could see was her back.

“My hand slipped, I’m okay.” She assured him. Taking another breath she took another three slashes at the wire and eventually it gave. The light on the bomb went out and the timer stopped on twenty-five seconds.

“Boom.” She exhaled, her head dropping in relief, her heart pounding in her chest.

“Nice work Nova.” Lawson let out a breath.

Katie swallowed, “Thanks Lawson…errr boys, a little help?”

Steve moved first as she shuffled backwards and managed to get one strong arm round her waist and gently she folded herself up so that he could lift her out.

“You alright?” He asked and she nodded, breathing heavily, but he could see from the tears in her eyes she wasn’t. Before he could say anything, Clint had pulled her into a hug as Steve instructed the team to move in for extraction of the weapons.

“Thanks Nova.” Clint said as she stepped back.

Steve gently moved towards her and turned her to face him, “It’s okay, Doll, you did it.”

“Guess I did.” Katie’s breathing was still deep as the magnitude of what just happened overwhelmed her. She began to shake and Steve simply wrapped her in his large arms and she pressed her face into his Kevlar clad chest and he rest his chin on her head, looking at Clint who gave him a little jerk of the head, before he wandered out into the corridor to find the team.

Steve pulled back and gently took her hand, looking at the place her knife had gashed through the leather on her palm gloves. It looked fairly superficial, the leather having protected her in the main “That doesn’t look too deep but we’ll get the medic to look at it.”

Katie couldn’t feel it. She was numb, numb from how close that bomb had been from going up.

“Seconds���” she said, swallowing “Seconds, that’s it, we were seconds away from going up.”

“Hey…” Steve moved back slightly so he could look at his girl. “That doesn’t matter now, you stopped it. Everyone’s okay.”

The blood was pounding in her ears as she looked up at his helmet clad face, his eyes warm as they locked onto hers. She was starting to lose it, and if she didn’t find a way to ground herself she knew she was going to break down into sobs, and she didn’t want that. Not on a mission. Steve watched as she reached up to undo the clasp at the side of his chin strap and before he could say anything, although he really didn’t have anything to say, she’d pulled his helmet off. She looked at him, hair tousled, bottom half of his face slightly grubby compared to the top.

“Baby,” he said quietly but his words died as she ran her non-injured hand up the side of his jaw and then leaned up, catching his lips, hand on the back of his neck. Steve was surprised, but didn’t push her away, he never could. His arms instinctively pulled her closer as he kissed her back, everything else zoning out, until they heard footsteps and a voice which was slightly amused.

“Ok, nothing to see here.” Clint spoke. Steve instantly pulled back and looked over Katie’s head at the assembled team of STRIKE agents, Rumlow, Rollins, Evans and Nat stood at the front. Rumlow’s face was a picture and Steve, despite the fact he was kind of embarrassed about being caught snogging his girl in the middle of a mission, felt a smug sense of satisfaction.

My girl, asshole.

“Told you Rumlow.” Rollins was next to speak as Katie closed her eyes and pressed her forehead into Steve’s chest, the moment of adrenaline fuelled passion ebbed away and was replaced by a sudden worry of her effectively outing them without asking him first.

“Fuck me sideways.” Rumlow muttered “Didn’t see that one coming.”

“Rumlow, you’re an idiot.” Lawson’s voice hit their ears “I aint even there and even I could see that a mile off. Mate, Fury only has one eye and I bet he could see it all the way from DC.”

Steve let out an exasperated sigh, but his arms didn’t let go of his precious charge as he issued an instruction. “Alright, wrap it up. Let’s get those weapons and move it out.”

His grip on Katie released as the team bustled into the room and he stopped to pick up both their helmets, handing Katie hers.

“I’m sorry…” she stuttered. “I didn’t mean to do that, I didn’t know they’d see.”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay.” He spoke gently, brushing her face with his gloved palm

“You’re not mad?”

“No.” He shook his head as she took her helmet off him with an air of surprise. “I mean they had to find out eventually, right. Maybe it isn’t exactly how I would have chosen to do it but…”

Katie snorted “Better or worse than being caught in the kitchen?”

He gave a small laugh “Undecided. Come on, let’s help them pack up those weapons and we can go home.”

******

The two of them were careful to keep a distance for the rest of the mission and trip home, a professional front was imperative to Steve and Katie was also keen to keep it that way too. She didn’t want anyone saying that either of them were impartial or unable to keep themselves objective. That said, on the flight home they took the inevitable teasing that naturally was always going to come their way when the team found out that its Captain and Sniper were together on the chin. It was all well natured though, and there were no smutty remarks beyond Evans asking Katie if she’d had her bed reinforced now she was sharing it with a super-soldier. In response, she hit him square in the face with a well-aimed granola bar, as Steve flushed at the back of the jet when he overheard. The Captain’s sharp eyes, however, clocked that one person who wasn’t joining in the joking and teasing was Rumlow. He looked like he’d been slapped in the face, and all Steve could do was hope he wasn’t going to be a complete prick going forward.

At the debrief Fury was pleased they had gotten a result and surprised the entire team by handing Steve a wad of notes and instructing them to go celebrate a job well done, but the wink he gave the Captain as he left the room before looking at Katie in that way he did, with a smirk on his face left them both in no uncertainty that he knew what had gone down.

The team hit their favoured bar, Loris. Katie and Steve sat together, Steve casually resting his arm round the back of the bench they sat on, as the drinks flowed, food arrived and Clint and Rumlow organised a pool tournament. Pool was one thing, along with art, that Steve had been pretty good at before he got the serum so after a bit of coaxing he joined in, eventually winning after thrashing Lawson in the final. Declining the money, he told Clint to use it to get the team another round of drinks, but they were drinks he had no intention of partaking in. He wanted to take his girl home because he could tell she was still a little shaken from the day’s events.

He wasn’t wrong. Whilst she had sat and eaten and drinking, she wasn’t really listening. The sight of that bomb timer in front of her eyes, and that fucking spider… she gave an involuntary shudder and looked up to see the tournament was now over and Steve was making his way to the table she was sat at, Natasha nodding to him as she headed to the bar.

He dropped onto the seat next to her, leaned forward and whispered “Wanna get out of here?”

She looked around, glancing over at the bar where Rumlow and Rollins were chatting up a group of girls. Clint and Natasha were sat a few seats down, in discussion with Lawson about something whilst Evans was leaning on the bar talking to a few of the other STRIKE team. She nodded. Steve stood up, took her hand and pulled her off the bench, the pair of them making their exit quickly and quietly, jumping into a perfectly timed free cab.

They sat in silence, his thumb skating over the back of her knuckles on the short ride home, his hand releasing hers only when he had to pay the driver. He caught up with her inside the lobby, just as the elevator door was opening and he stepped in behind her, her breath catching as he dropped his head, nose nuzzling into the side of her neck below her ear before he placed a single, soft kiss on her neck. Her arousal was obvious as she bit her bottom lip and let her eyes fall closed as his lips grazed her neck a bit higher. Then higher still until they placed a chaste kiss on her jawline, and that was all she could take.

She turned round, eyes dark with lust and lips met his gently at first before the kiss grew more urgent and she brought her hands up to his face, sliding them back to tangle her fingers into his hair. The way she did that set every one of his nerves on edge and he found himself pressing closer and moved quickly so that he had her pinned against the metal wall of the elevator. His left hand gripped her hip tight, his right winding its way into her hair giving a gentle tug as he pressed his lips against hers, causing the kiss to deepen, a small whimper escaping her mouth. The doors opened to the elevator, and the two of them stumbled out, lips locked, her hands clawing at his hair still, the pair groaning as they went.

His lips started to stray, kissing the corners of her mouth, dipping down to her jaw and neck but she always pulled his face back to hers, kissing him encouragingly, and he knew there and then that there was only one way this was going to end. Which right now was absolutely fine with him, but he needed to know it was with her too. He pulled away and looked down at her, his eyes bouncing between hers.

“You sure?” He whispered, wetting his lips slightly.

“Stevie…” she replied, her voice barely audible over her deep breathing. “Shut up and take me to bed.”

And he knew then he was a goner.

He surged forward again, spinning them both round, pinning her to the panel in the wall which hid the closed elevator doors with his body. His mouth trailed down to her neck, softly kissing, drawing a sigh from her at the sensation as he continued to skate his mouth gently across her collarbone which was exposed on one side due to the slouching top she was wearing. His hands reached down to her thighs and he effortlessly hoisted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist, nuzzling into his neck before kissing across his jawline and his cheek as he carried her across the apartment and up the stairs. He was aware vaguely of two small thuds as she shucked off her boots as they went, before he reached the bedroom his lips back on hers, urgently kissing her as he carried her inside, kicking the door shut before he crossed the room and gently fell forwards, depositing them both onto the bed.

His lips claimed hers again, a moan of his own escaping into her mouth and his hands strayed to the bottom of her top. She nodded eagerly, hands going to run through his hair, before she shifted and held her arms up so that he could pull the top over her head. He tossed it to the floor as she reached for his before he pulled back, allowing her to slide it up and over his head, both of them smiling into the kiss as he settled back down on top of her, his hand running up the side of her torso.

She pulled away from him this time and he watched as her eyes followed her hands downwards before she looked back up at him as her fingers gently grazed his stomach, lingering there before moving down to his jeans. He bucked at the touch as she slowly undid his belt, taking her time as she locked her eyes onto his again, lust had turned into softness as she looked at him. He stared right back at her, her eyes reminding him of emeralds, deep green, speckled with dots of brown, the slight ring of amber surrounding her pupil reminded him of the sun. Telling him of the power she exuded over him and the warmth she brought to his life.

He was aware that his breathing had quickened and he let out a low growl before he kissed her, harder and his hands moved down to her jeans, deftly undoing the button at the front. He moved, pulling them down in one go over her legs before he stood slightly, ridding himself of his, the sensation of finally being free was a God send. Katie sat up, eyes trained on him and he swallowed thickly as she undid her bra. He took a second to take her in, he loved her tits, he’d always had a thing for a good “rack” as Bucky put it, and she was a sight to behold. All soft pink curves and rose bud nipples. He was achingly hard now, and he needed to do something about it. In a flash he was on her again, mouth hungrily covered hers as his hands trailed up her legs, to her hips, up the side of her body and then onto her breasts teasing gently. She groaned, rolling her head back on the pillow at the sensation, her hips bucking upwards.

“Fuck.” He seethed out at the feeling of her grinding up against his rock hard crotch, and he nuzzled at her neck with his nose again. She dragged her fingers up his spine as he buried his face in the side of her neck working at the pulse spot beneath her ear, the little noises of pleasure she was making were music in his ear. Her hips moved again and he decided to help her out, his hand moving down and dropping below the waistband of her panties making her gasp as his fingers worked her. She was warm, wet, and he loved the fact he had this effect on her.

Her hips began to move in time with his motions, groans falling from her lips at the sensations lancing through her body as he nipped slightly at her neck and then moved his mouth to her chest, taking her right nipple in. Her groans were growing louder now and Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He wanted to be in her, surrounded by her, feel her. His hands both shot to the side of her panties, completely forgetting his strength and he heard them tear. He dropped his forehead onto her sternum, letting out a groan at his stupidity before he heard a laugh, his head shooting up in surprise at the fact she found it funny.

“I’m sorry…” he blurted out as she continued to giggle.

“You literally just ripped my pants off”

“Guess I forgot my own strength.” he offered as explanation, looking at her, an apologetic look on his face.

“You know they were Victoria Secrets?” She quipped, looking at him. Steve had no idea what that meant, but he assumed it was some kind of expensive lingerie shop. A sudden joke popped into his head and before he could stop himself he shot it out.

“Sucks to be Victoria then.” and this made her laugh even more.

Eventually their laughter died down, and they shared another quick glance, and then her lips were back on his, still smiling as she flipped the waistband of his boxers down, and he shimmied out of them, before settling into the space in between her hips. She moved underneath him, telling him exactly what she wanted and he was so ready to oblige. He kissed her hard, his right hand tangling into her left as she reached down with her right, grasping him in her hand causing him to hiss slightly. She guided him to where she wanted him and he gently pushed into her. The feeling caused both of them to gasp and groan, Katie leaning back against the pillows as he stretched her, his girth and length filling her completely.

“God,” Steve breathed, temporarily paralysed by the way her tightness gripped him. His arms shook and he dropped down to his elbows, the hand around hers tightening as his entire body felt coiled tight like snake ready to strike.

The stillness gave Katie time to adjust to his size, but one she had she was aching for him to move, needing to feel him. She whimpered a little, her fingers digging into his lower back urging him on. “Stevie, please?”

He started moving his hips, slowly at first, building up speed as he gained more confidence, their hips rubbing together with every thrust. With every rock into her, moans of delight and pure pleasure filled his ear as his head rest in the crook of her neck, every inch of their bodies pressed as close as they could get. When she groaned his name, Stevie, the pet name that sounded so much sweeter coming from her, it was like a hot wire to his groin and he felt the tell-tale heat striking across his lower stomach he groaned again, wanting to hold out longer, wanting to get her there first. He brought his lips back to hers plunging his tongue into her mouth and she dug the tips of her nails into his back and he was completely overwhelmed by her. Not the sex, but her.

“Katie, I’m not sure how long I’m gonna…” He began to try and explain but then groaned again as she pushed up against him, his head dropping slightly as he struggled to fight it.

“Let me see you.” she said, nudging his nose with hers, her voice ragged. “Wanna see you let go baby…”

At her words he groaned and raised his head to look at her, her eyes soft and shining. He managed a few more shallow thrusts before he lost himself, stiffening and groaning as Katie watched him, his lips slightly parted as he bit his bottom lip, and then the eyes that had been locked on hers fluttered shut before he pitched forward to bury his face into her neck.

She held him running a hand through his hair as a final shudder ran down his body, the waves of pleasure finally began to subside. Her own heart was pounding with affection for her man. She didn’t particularly care that she hadn’t gotten off, nor did she care that it hadn’t lasted very long either, but he had made her feel good. He took his time, had tenderly caressed and loved every part of her, had appreciated her in a way no one else had before.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out before he could stop himself, “You didn’t even – I’m sorry.” He said again still kicking himself.

“Steve, stop. Just enjoy the moment. Please.” She whispered, kissing his temple.

Steve sighed as dropped his head to her chest, still inside her, as she ran her hand through his hair and down his neck. He stayed still for a while before he rolled off her and onto his back, pulling her with him so she could lie her head across his chest.

“It doesn’t matter you know” she spoke again, hand running through the soft smattering of dark blond and light brown hair on his chest “It was perfect because I was with you.”

“I just wish it had lasted longer.” he said, her words like a talisman in his chest as he cradled her close.

“It didn’t need to.” she looked up at him and felt her cheeks burning. She wanted to explain to him, exactly how she felt, but wasn’t sure she could find the words. She dropped her gaze from his face and he gently reached out with his spare hand.

“What is it?” HHhe asked, gently reaching out to tilt her face up to look at him.

“Just…no one’s ever made me feel like that, like this before” she said gently, her eyes shining. “You were so soft and gentle and…well I don’t think I’ve ever felt so wanted…” she trailed off, shrugging.

The band tightened across his chest slightly, how could anyone not want her? Gently he dropped a kiss to her lips.

“I like being your first.” he said, and she smiled.

They lay still for a while, his fingers gently combing through her soft hair before an idea suddenly hit him and it made him swallow nervously.

“We err…we didn’t… you know, use any…protection?” he said, stilling and Katie turned her head up to look at him.

“I got that covered, don’t worry…”

“How?” he frowned, confusion filling his features.

“Stuff has moved on since the 40s Steve.” she said, simply.

Her head returned to its spot on his chest and she gave a soft yawn. He dropped a kiss to her head and closed his eyes, pulling her closer, relishing the feel of her skin against his as their legs tangled together, the pair of them satiated and completely at peace

****

He was aware of her moving. He had his face pressed into the back of her hair, breathing in her gorgeous smell, revelling in her warmth and softness as her bare back was pressed to his chest, his arm wrapping around her, laying just under her breasts. It was all he could do not to moan as she untangled herself and he cracked an eye open, watching her bare ass and back as she made her way into the en-suite. Smiling softly through his tiredness he rolled onto his back, one hand straying to his hair as he lay still. Eventually he heard her make her way back into the room and felt the bed dip again. He could feel her eyes on him, simply watching. And it was all he could do to keep the smirk off his face.

“You get a good look?” he mumbled, shifting slightly, voice thick from sleep, eyes still closed.

“Sorry…” she said softly and he felt her finger gently tracing his jaw. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Well he was awake now, her touch igniting that desire once more. He shifted onto his side and cracked one eye open, taking in her appearance. Her long hair was cascading in slightly tangled waves round her face, and she looked absolutely stunning.

“I can think of worse things to wake up to.” he said honestly before he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. She responded willingly, his hand dropping to her hip before moving to her back and pulling her closer to him, the other arm snaking under her neck and angling her head to deepen the kiss. He rolled her over onto her back, one leg positioning itself between hers and he dropped his lips to her neck, nipping at that magical spot again. She let out a soft moan before she sat up slightly, pushing on his shoulders. It was just a hard enough shove to make him understand she wanted him lay on his back, and he was more than happy to let her take control this time. As she straddled him his hands tangled in her hair, pulling her face down to kiss him and as he did so she reached down between them, taking him in her hand and stroking him into full hardness which didn’t take much. He groaned but didn’t release her mouth as she adjusted position to take him in.

Slowly she slid down onto him, groaning into the kiss as she stayed pressed against him, and she began to work herself on top of him. She was quick to find a rhythm and her mouth fell open against his lips and she let out a shaky moan before sitting up fully.

This was another first for him and the sight of her on top, illuminated by the early morning sun sneaking in through her curtains was divine. He wanted to touch her, so he did, bringing her hands up to run them up her sides until his hands cupped her breasts, thumbs running over her nipples as she let out another moan. As she picked up the pace his hands went to her hips, pulling her down onto him harder, thrusting upwards to meet her for every move she made. She continued to move, quickening, her eyes never leaving his.

“Steve…”she groaned, as he tilted his hips up harder and he let out a groan himself, increasingly determined to get her there this time. As he felt himself beginning to tip over the edge, his hand moved from her hip to stroke at that spot between her legs and that did it. He felt her tense up and tighten around him, crying out loudly and unbridled as she shook. The sight of her coming undone on top of him, her cheeks flushed, lips pink, mouth open in a now silent scream, was simply incredible and quite possibly the single most exquisite thing he had ever seen. All of that, coupled with the force of her heat tightening even more made him lose himself again.

“Fuck, Doll…” the curse fell from his lips as he thrust upwards, before he spilled himself inside her again, the wave of pleasure deeper than anything he’d felt before. Katie collapsed forward onto his chest, her tremors subsided, both of them panting. He held her close, his fingers running up and down her spine as she let out a soft “hum” of contentment and he sat up, wanting to see her face to face. Still cradling her close he pushed the hair that had fallen over her face back behind her ears and she reached up, running her hands through his, causing him to close his eyes at the sensation of her nails on his scalp.

When he opened them again and looked at her something flashed in her eyes as the slight gleam of light through the curtains caught her face. She was looking at him, features soft, almost as if she was seeing him for the first time. His breath quickened slightly and he knew then that he was head over heels in love with her. No one had come close to ever making him feel like this and as he gazed at her, seeing the adoration in her eyes, he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Katie,” he said quietly, almost nervously, as he pulled her closer, his nose rubbing up against hers, “I love you.”

She didn’t hesitate to reply, she didn’t need to. If she was honest she’d loved him now way before they’d even started any of this. So without missing a single beat, she spoke in return as their noses continued their lazy dance, the words coming easily.

“I love you too, Stevie.”

Her reply lit a fire in his chest and he kissed her softly, grinning like a total idiot as she was smiling too, the kisses growing softer and shorter until she pulled away completely, her hand on his cheek, her eyelids heavy. He glanced at the clock, it was little past 6 and they could sleep in today. He had no desire to run, no desire to leave at all, so he set them both and slid a hand under her neck and pulled her to him, chest pressing into her back. He swept her hair to one side and placed a soft kiss on the back of her neck before he pulled the covers back up over them and closed his eyes.

Right there Steve would have challenged any man on the planet to prove they were happier than him.

**** O/S Phobias

Chapter 8

**Original Posting**

[heademptyjustvolleyballs]

Karasuno Shampoo Headcanons

We all gotta wash our hair.

Daichi Sawamura: He was using that 3-in-1 Hair + Body + Face Wash until Suga & Asahi staged an intervention. It took some convincing, explaining, and a borderline ambush in his kitchen, but they finally got him to commit to a shampoo + conditioner combo that smells like green apples. He'll stick with it well into adulthood.

Koushi Sugawara: Suga's got the type of hair that would start to feel like straw if he washed it everyday. Everything about this man's hair is lavender scented, included the dry shampoo he keeps in his gym bag for those days he just doesn't want to/ or can't scrub at his scalp. If you dig around in his bathroom, you'll find a bottle of purple anti-brass shampoo. ...Isn't the silver natural?

Asahi Azumane: He's on that clean-product hair train. No parabens, sulfates, artificial frangrances, etc,. Probably washes his hair with organic products that smell like Eucalyptes and Mint. Bought one of those silicone shampoo brushes for his scalp and it changed his life.

Yuu Nishinoya: He knows variety is the spice of life, so he has 3-4 open shampoos & conditioners on the go (chosen soley for the tropical scents), plus a clarifying shampoo he needs once a week to get all that product build-up (his signature style takes a grotesque amount of gel) out of his hair.

Ryuunosuke Tanaka: Washes his hair with whatever Herbal Essence concoction Saeko leaves in the shower. Even though he's rockin' that buzzcut, he still indulges in her hair masks & deep-conditioning treatments. Also shampoos and conditions his eyebrows, and the uh... rest of the hair on his body.

Tobio Kageyama: 90% of the time, he just swipes his soapy hands across his scalp in the shower while lathering up the rest of him. Yeah the bar soap isn't designed for hair but it gets some of the grease out, so... fine by him. The only conditioning Kags has heard of is conditioning his muscles before a big game. He'll grow out of it... hopefully.

Shoyo Hinata: Straight up washes his hair with Natsu’s No-Tears baby shampoo. He used it for so long he still buys it well after Natsu outgrows it (the shampoo aisle is overwhelming ok...). He would condition more often if he could spike his hiar with it like he can with shampoo.

Kei Tsukkishima: Tsukki could have lovely, defined waves if he would just READ THE LABELS ON HIS PRODUCTS AND NOT JUST BUY WHAT'S ON SALE. He washes his hair in super hot water (gets the sweat off faster), so his poor hair is stripped and frizzy. Unfortunately it's going to stay that way until that repair and heal damage formula drops in price.

Tadashi Yamaguchi: He's always been at odds with his hair, it's been a long and kinda greasy road- but he has started to figure out how to achieve his hair goals (he just wants to hair flip like a model in a l'oreal commercial, once). Bought custom shampoo + conditioner off instagram and loves it. His products are peach scented and it makes his hair silky soft. 

[tipsycad147]

Sage advice: An illustrated guide to smudging herbs

by Michelle Gruben

Once upon a time, there were only three kinds of smudge sticks in most witchy shops: Small, medium, and large.  These days, you can choose from a vast array of smudging herbs, each with a different energy, aroma, and cultural history.

In this article, I’ll walk you through the plants that are most commonly used for smudging. (We’ll limit it to smudges that are derived from woods and leaves. Resin incenses are divine—but that’s a topic for another article.)

The variety of smudging herbs is incredible. But you’ll also notice some similarities. First, most of them come from the leaf and stem parts of bushes and small trees. (Fruits and flowers make wonderful sachets, baths, and teas, but lose all their charm when burned.) Second, most smudging plants grow in desert and mountain regions, where the soil is poor. Plants in these climates tend to be short and shrubby, and they rely on fragrant oils as a way to keep insects and other animals from munching on them to get to their water and nutrients.

You’ll also notice that many excellent smudging plants come from the genus Salvia (true sages). There are several hundred distinct species of Salvia, but only the most aromatic varieties are used for smudging. Many other varieties grow wild, or are cultivated as hardy ornamentals. Sage’s reputation as a beneficial plant is ancient and well-deserved. The Romans named the plant Salvia after the Latin verb meaning to save, redeem, or heal.

So where can you find these delicious-smelling plants? Well, just about any New Age store will have smudges for sale. (White Sage, at least—you may have to search online for some of the more exotic varieties.) Also try health food grocers, yoga studios, artisan and farmer’s markets. You may even want to consider growing smudging plants in your garden, or gathering them in the wild.

A quick warning: The plants listed below are not harmful or dangerous under normal circumstances. Still, they can cause irritation and allergic reactions in some people. If you have asthma or respiratory problems, burning anything may not be great for your health. (Consult a doctor or herbalist if you have concerns.) Burn smudges in a well-ventilated area—coughing and choking on the smoke will not enhance their effects! Always be mindful of fire safety, especially indoors and in dry climates.

Finally, please don’t rely on herbal remedies as a substitute for medical treatment. When I describe an herb as healing, I mean only that it will contribute to your general well-being—not that it will cure cancer, toenail fungus, or anything in between. I always recommend that you store herbs in labeled packages, out of the reach of children and pets.

White Sage (Salvia apiana—also known as Bee Sage, California Sage, Sacred Sage)

For many people, “smudging” means one thing only—White Sage. (Its Latin name refers to its main pollinator, the honeybee.) White Sage is the bread and butter of any smudging kit. Versatile and effective, it’s suitable for most any smudging ritual—cleansing, healing, protection, meditation, and so on. When mixed with other herbs, it makes a wonderful base for a custom smudging blend.

White Sage grows wild across the American Southwest in bushy clumps. (The strongest-smelling product comes from the western fringes of the Mojave and Sonoran deserts.) The plant has been gathered for thousands of years by Native Americans, particularly the Chumash. It is regarded as a sacred plant—an important source of food, medicine, and benevolent Spirit.

White Sage is herbaceous, sweet, and slightly astringent.  It's rather similar to Eucalyptus, but more complex. Some people say it smells like Marijuana when burned. (To me, burning White Sage just smells like burning White Sage—but the similarity is something to keep in mind if you’re going to use it in public.) The smell of White Sage is so strong that just rubbing its fuzzy leaves between your fingers is enough to release the scent.

Almost all of the White Sage on the market comes from California. Most of it is wild-gathered and hand-tied by producers large and small. There really isn’t much difference in quality between brands. However, if it matters to you, you may want to seek out a producer who gathers Sage with the proper prayers and observances. It’s even possible to buy White Sage that is harvested by American Indians according to traditional practices, just as they have done for centuries.

Because it is the most widely available smudge, you can buy White Sage in many sizes and formats. Small Sage wands (3-4 inches) are ideal for small spaces, solitary practice, or to keep handy in a ritual kit. The big boys (8 inches and up) are best reserved for outdoor use and large group rituals—unless a wailing smoke detector is part of your space-clearing strategy! You can also buy the loose leaves and stems by the ounce or pound. This lets you control the amount you use, and allows for blending with other herbs.

White Sage is affected by periodic droughts, meaning it has years in which the harvest is smaller. The price and quality fluctuate accordingly. Still, there’s no need to pester your local New Age emporium about the vintage year of their stock. Freshness isn’t a huge consideration, either. The volatile oils in dried Sage will dissipate somewhat over time—but I’ve used Sage sticks that were hiding in my altar cupboard for years and no one was the wiser. Buy it, it’ll burn just fine.

Common Sage (Salvia officianalis—also known as Garden Sage, Common Sage, Green Sage, or Kitchen Sage)

Many a hard-up Witch has wondered if it’s okay to use culinary Sage—the kind that goes in turkey stuffing and breakfast sausage—for smudging. The answer is yes! Common Sage is a close relative of White Sage, and has many of the same beneficial properties as its superstar cousin, White Sage. Common Sage originates in Europe, and its medicinal and folkloric uses date back to the Middle Ages. For those involved in the European traditions of Witchcraft, it may make more sense to smudge with Common Sage than one of the North American varieties.

Besides, not everybody has a metaphysical store that they can rush to for supplies, and a good Witch knows how to improvise. The main advantage of Common Sage is that it grows in many climates, and is readily available in fresh and dried form at most supermarkets. Will Sage ward off bad vibes when used in food? I don’t know, but I’ll take another slice of Sage Derby while I mull it over.

Not everyone agrees that the smell of burning Common Sage is pleasant. A little goes a long way. Also, the herb must be quite dry to smolder effectively. If burning Sage doesn't work for you, remember that you can still use the plant to cleanse and bless your space. Add the essential oil to sprays and washes, or put the leaves in sachets, witch bottles, or mojo bags.

Blue Sage (Salvia clevelandii or Artemisia tridentata—also known as New Mexico Sage, Desert Sage, Grandmother Sage)

Blue Sage is a hardy bush found in the deserts of the Southwest. It’s named for its abundant blue flowers, but the leaves also have a blue-ish cast. It has thin leaves and a fragrance that is both herbaceous and floral, similar to Lavender.

A close relative of White Sage, Blue Sage is also good for healing and cleansing rituals.  Its soothing, relaxing smell can be used to aid meditation, or burned simply for enjoyment. It’s not as pungent as White Sage, and is more agreeable to some folks who find the strong, bracing scent of White Sage overpowering. You can find Blue Sage in smudge sticks and in loose-leaf form.

Another pale sagebrush, Artemisia tridentata, is pictured above. It goes by the trade name "Blue Sage," but is not a member of the Salvia clan.

Lavender Sage (Salvia leucophylla or Salvia mellifera)—also know as Gray Sage, Purple Sage, Wild Lavender)

Yet another far-flung member of the Salvia family, Lavender Sage is a sun-loving plant that grows in southern coastal California. It’s named for its clusters of purple flowers—the leaves are rounded, green, and fuzzy like Common Sage. (They darken to gray when dried.) Lavender Sage is unrelated to the flower Lavender (Lavandula angustifolia). However, it physically resembles Lavender (especially when in bloom) and has a similar clean, flowery fragrance. As if that wasn’t screwy enough, some artisan producers do use true Lavender as an ingredient in smudges, and they don’t always make it clear which plant is meant. Lavender Sage is known for its calming, peaceful, and sedating effects. It inspires love and relieves anxiety. Because of its irresistible scent and natural beauty, a Lavender Sage smudge is a great choice for your spells of attraction. Lavender Sage is often combined with White Sage for a killer duo. Like a 2-in-1 shampoo, this pair will cleanse and condition in a single step! Black Sage (Salvia mellifera, Artemisia nova, Artemisia douglasiana and others—also known as Mugwort, Magical Sage, Black Sagebrush, Dream Weed)

Used to encourage dreams and visions, Black Sage is an herb of introspection and inner healing. When burned before bedtime, it aids in restful sleep and pleasant dreams. Black Sage is used for astral travel, shamanic journeying, and for protection during such excursions. One Pagan priest I know begins group trance workings by smudging the participants with Black Sage. Black Sage is like the mystical, shifty-acting cousin of the Sage clan—so shifty, in fact, that people can’t even agree on what plant it is! There are a few different products sold under the name “Black Sage.” I found this out when I noticed that the Black Sage I ordered for the store looked different from month to month. I called my supplier, and he confessed that the exact composition of the smudge changes based on availability. A true Sage, Salvia mellifera has long leaves that are dark green on top and silver underneath. It is found in the mountains of the West Coast from California north through British Columbia. The plant can be difficult to identify because it resembles other species. The leaves only darken dramatically in times of drought. To add to the confusion, there are several cultivars, and Black Sage readily hybridizes with Purple Sage and Blue Sage plants. Other Black Sage products come from shrubs in the genus Artemisia. They are commonly called sagebrushes, but these dark-green plants are more closely related to the Daisy than to true Sage. When dried, Artemisia tridentata has a lighter, straw-brown color, and may also have small crowded blossoms on its stalks. But Artemisia douglasiana (shown in the photo above) is leafier and easy to mistake for dark Sage such as Salvia mellifera. Why does it matter? The metaphysical properties of both plants are similar, but Artemisia-based smudges may also contain small amounts of thujone. This mildly trance-inducing compound is best-known as the active ingredient in traditional absinthe liqueur. Black Sage contains less thujone than the common herbs Mugwort (Artemisia vulgaris) and Wormwood (Artemisia absinthium). Black Sage won’t cause you to “trip” or wildly hallucinate. At most, it may intensify your efforts at visualization and vivify your dreams. Even so, some people (like pregnant women and straight-edgers) should avoid using Black Sage. Desert Sage (Artemisia tridentata or Artemisia californica [pictured]—Desert Magic, Mountain Sage, Grey Sage, New Mexico Sage, Sagebrush Smudge)

This aromatic shrub thrives in the windswept deserts of the Santa Fe/Taos area. It has skinny, branched leaves and a light brown color. Desert Sage shares some common nicknames with Blue Sage, and the two plants are sometimes sold interchangeably. (Are you noticing a pattern here?) Desert Sage has a warm herbaceous aroma that is a bit peppery (think Bay leaves or Mint tea). It is used for cleansing and purifying, protection, and inner strength. It is said to bring pleasant thoughts and relieve headaches and anxiety. Desert Sage is available both loose and in smudge sticks. It blends well with most other smudging herbs. Desert Sage produces a dense, straw-like bundle that is sometimes sprinkled with resin incenses for an especially rich combination. Desert Sage laced with Dragon’s Blood or Copal is just delicious! Dakota Sage (Artemisia ludoviciana—Badlands Sage, Silver Wormwood, Old Man Sage, Silver King, Western Mugwort, Dakota White Sage)

Another Artemisia smudge, this one grows all over the badlands of South Dakota stretching all the way south to Louisiana. Dakota Sage is rarely found in commercial Sage products, but I’ve included it because it’s easily gathered in many places across the United States. The aroma and appearance of Dakota Sage is very similar to that of Desert Sage. However, the fragrance is usually less intense. Piñon Pine (Pinus edulis and others—also known as Pinyon Pine)

The Piñon Pine is a generous evergreen tree from the foothills of the American Southwest.  The nuts were an important food source for early Americans--these days, the tree is best known for stocking chimineas (Southwestern patio stoves). Piñon has a smooth, woodsy scent that's especially powerful, thanks to its high concentration of pine resin. Piñon is an excellent all-purpose smudge, and a capable stand-in for White Sage, if you prefer to avoid the latter. Its energy is cleansing, healing, and strengthening. Oh, and it repels insects, too. Cedar (Calocedrus decurrens [California Incense Cedar], and many other species)

Cedar is an ancient tree, one of the oldest beings still thriving on the Earth. Cedar trees look much the same as they did when dinosaurs roamed the land. Back when other trees were trying out those newfangled “leaves,” Cedar said “I’m good” and stayed with the tried and true. The smell of Cedar is woodsy and fresh. It recalls ancient forests, and invokes their protection and wisdom. Both the wood (in the form of chips or shavings) and the foliage make effective smudges.

Cedar smudges carry a medicine of protection. Cedar is often used to cleanse a home or apartment when first moving in, inviting unwanted spirits to leave and protecting a person, place or object from unwanted influences. Along with Rosemary and White Sage, Cedar is one of the most aggressively cleansing smudges you can choose. Juniper (Juniperus communis)

Juniper has a sweet and spicy "Christmas tree" fragrance and abundant blue berries.  Like Cedar, Juniper is probably one of the most ancient plants. Juniper is said to have a masculine, protective energy, and is used in spells of cleansing and prosperity. Juniper berries are popular in good luck charms, while the leaves are often used for smudging. Juniper is best used for blessing a new venture or dwelling, and inviting in abundance. Bearberry (Uva ursi)

Bearberry is a low-growing North American shrub in the Heather family.  As its name suggests, it is a favorite of foraging bears. It is used for smudging, animal magic, shape-shifting, and other shamanic work. Native Americans traditionally mix it with Tobacco leaf to create a ritual smoke blend (called kinnikinnick), said to carry prayers and bring visions. Sometimes the leaves come mixed with peppercorn-sized berries.  Don't throw these out—the Bear spirit is said to appreciate the offering. Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalus)

A culinary herb with an assertive fragrance, this woody perennial may also be used for smudging. It clears negativity, inspires confidence, and invigorates the mind and body.

Some people prefer to avoid herbs associated with Native American cultures out of concerns about cultural appropriation. Rosemary is an Old World herb with a long history of use in incenses, and so makes a guilt-free alternative for Western practitioners. Sweetgrass (Hierochloe odorata or Anthoxanthum nitens—also known as Seneca Grass, Holy Grass, Vanilla Grass, Mary’s Grass, Bison Grass)

Sweetgrass is a long, fragrant grass that grows wild across portions of the American Great Plains. It's frequently braided or tied in bundles, then dried.

Sweetgrass is sacred to several Plains tribes. They have traditionally burned it to drive out evil and harm, and allow benevolent spirits to approach. Ancient lore states that Sweetgrass is the hair of the Earth Mother, and invokes love, kindness, and honesty.

A relative of American Sweetgrass was known in medieval Europe. Sheaves of the sweet-smelling grass were strewn across thresholds, especially of churches, where it would release a gentle aroma when trod upon.

Sweetgrass smells of fresh hay with hints of warm vanilla. It induces a mellow, almost soporific state when burned.  (It contains coumarin, which is thought to be mildly psychoactive.) Some say the proper way to burn Sweetgrass braids is to shave small portions off with a knife, allowing them to fall on hot coals. Yerba Santa (Eriodictyon glutinosum and Eriodictyon californicum—also known as Holy Herb, Mountain Balm, Consumptive’s Weed, Bear Weed)

Yerba Santa ("holy herb") is a sweet-smelling plant that grows in the arid hills of the Southwest.  It got its common name from Spanish monks who were impressed with its healing properties. Yerba Santa is burned to honor ancestors, increase psychic powers, and bring healing and protection. It is also a traditional remedy against coughing and many other ailments. Yerba Santa grows wild only in certain areas of California and Northern Mexico—a true regional treasure. Tobacco (Genus Nicotiana)

The health hazards of Tobacco are well-known, so much that its sacred uses have fallen by the wayside. Wild-growing and cultivated Tobacco had a place in the rituals of many Native American tribes. Aleister Crowley considered Tobacco a consummate herb of Mars. And it is said that Faeries particularly enjoy offerings of the stuff. (Along with other human vices, like whiskey and sweets!) Commercially packaged cigarettes are full of reconstituted crud, chemicals and additives that make them unsuitable for magickal use. If you’re going to burn tobacco ritually, the best option is loose tobacco leaves, but they aren’t easy to find. The next best thing might be a shredded pipe tobacco that is additive-free. Palo Santo (Bursera graveolens—also known as Holy Wood)

Palo Santo (or “Holy Wood”) is a sweet-smelling tropical wood that is a natural incense.  Palo Santo is said to clear out negative spirits and energies, increase relaxation, and bring joy and harmony to the home. It is in the family of trees that produces Frankincense and Myrrh, but is native only to Ecuador, Peru, and the Galapagos Islands. Its aroma is smooth, aromatic and spicy. (I think it smells a bit like gingerbread!) The holy reputation of Palo Santo dates back to the time of the Incas, who used it in their ceremonies of healing and cleansing. When the Spaniards arrived in South America, they couldn’t easily obtain their preferred church incenses, so they substituted the local equivalent. To this day, Palo Santo is used there for Catholic holy days and processions. Palo Santo comes from a slow-growing tree that is in danger of over-harvesting. Both Ecuador and Peru have laws on the books designed to protect this rare species. Reputable importers use only fallen limbs and strive to minimize waste. Sticks, chips and even sawdust are sold by the ounce, with the scraps being compressed into incense cones or distilled for their essential oil. Sticks of Palo Santo can be lit on one end and burned just like any other smudge stick, but in humid conditions charcoal may be required. The chips and powder are best burned over charcoal.

Mixed smudges

Sometimes you may want to use a smudge with multiple ingredients, combining the aromas and properties of two or more plants. Mixed smudges come in a huge array of combinations, some laced with resins or flowers—far too many to list.  A Black and White Sage smudge (pictured) combines the psychic openness granted by Black Sage with the protective qualities of White Sage. However, it's worth noting that in some Native American traditions, the Four Sacred Medicines (White Sage, Cedar, Tobacco, and Sweetgrass) are never mixed.

Hope you've found this tour of smudging herbs useful and enlightening. Happy smudging—and for godsakes, open a window!

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/100896071-sage-advice-an-illustrated-guide-to-smudging-herbs

[enoughslices]

Unicorns

Written as part of a Terrible Tropes drunk drabble with @provocative-envy, @scullymurphy, and @pacific-rimbaud Pairing: Sirius/Luna Rating: M, probably? Tags: Muggle AU, Terrible Tropes, Funeral Home Meet-Cute Warnings: Age Difference (both over 18), verrry light bondage, I wrote this while I was drunk so keep that in mind, I am calling this a drabble but it is ?? 1600+ words It’s Sirius’s second Thursday back at the family business when he first sees her.

Fuck, East L.A. is hot. Hot in a different way than Thailand was hot or Aruba was hot or even than Mexico was hot. Those were all a lounge on the beach with your sixth mai tai kind of hot. A fresh white linens in a king resort suite with mosquito netting around the bed kind of hot. This is a depressing, sizzling pavement in front of a strip mall funeral home next to a dubious-looking mattress store kind of hot.

And of course his pride will not allow him business apparel less formal than these black slacks, this pressed black button down, this insufferable gray and purple paisley silk tie, usually beloved but now cursed and damp with his neck sweat. Even without the suit coat his ensemble is murder in this weather.

Lovegood Funeral Services has a sort of dingy and disappointing feeling to it, the same general vibe as if you were leaving your beloved dead to rest at a Greyhound bus station, but at least it is air conditioned. As soon as Sirius steps through the door, he’s blasted with a wave of blissfully cold air so forceful that his sweat-slick black curls, down to his shoulders now, are tossed back like he is in a shampoo commercial.

The girl at the desk is texting furiously, her blond ponytail bobbing. Perky, even in avoidance. A little chime announces his entrance, the same four notes an old clock might make on a quarter of the hour, but she doesn’t look up. Sirius plasters on his best sales smile and glances at the silver magnetic name tag fastened precariously close to the cleavage-heavy bust line of what can only be described as an LBD.

“Lavender,” he says, with his trademark easy charm. “How are you today? Hot one, huh?”

Lavender, presumably, does nothing to acknowledge his existence. Her brow furrows as she stabs at her smartphone.

“Listen, Lavender, I’m sure you’re busy, but I’m out here with Black Family Caskets. We had a contract with you all in the past, and I’d like to talk to you about your renewal options…”

The hairs on Sirius’s neck rise, and he has the curious, prickling, discomfiting sensation that he is being watched. It is definitely not by Lavender, who has merged entirely with her rose gold iPhone 11.

He looks up.

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

At the top landing of the Gothic staircase rising behind the front desk, a woman in her mid-twenties with flowing white blonde hair down to her waist is standing silently in a white linen shift dress, staring at him with somewhat vacant clear blue eyes.

She’s pretty. Kind of disturbing, but definitely pretty.

Lavender finally looks up, and seeing the horror on his face, glances over her shoulder. “Oh,” she says with a shrug. “Yeah. That’s Luna.”

“Luna?” Sirius swallows as Luna, apparently, floats down the stairs and comes to stand directly between him and Lavender, approximately six inches closer to him than social etiquette would deem appropriate.

She peers right into his eyes, and he falls into the blue sea of her gaze, transfixed.

“The dead are … quiet today.” She speaks softly, directly into the deepest realest part of him, then turns abruptly and drifts back up the stairs, sing-songing a nursery rhyme in a minor key.

Sirius stares after her, blinking hard.

“She’s the owner’s daughter,” Lavender says, tossing her hands up noncommittally. “You get used to it.”

“Oh.” Usually Sirius would be able to snap back, offer some friendly retort. Make Lavender like him. But he feels … strangely shaken. Strangely taken with this strange funeral home’s strange daughter.

“If you give me your card,” — Lavender pops her gum and resumes texting, not looking up as she speaks to him — “I’ll give it to Xeno. I know he likes your caskets.” She suddenly beams, a dazzling smile, which is puzzling because she isn’t looking at Sirius at all. Then he hears a digital click and realizes that she is taking a selfie.

Sirius slides his business card across the counter. For the rest of the day, he contemplates Luna’s blue eyes, ponders the silence of the dead.

—

The second time he sees her is on his third Friday back on the job. He’s popped by Lovegood Funeral Services to make sure the caskets were delivered as planned. To make sure they are properly arranged in the display room as befits the Black Family name, under Regulus’s orders.

Lavender, communing with her phone again, and in another black dress that is about four inches too short for the situation, leads him wordlessly to the showroom and gestures him in, then leaves him there under the roar of the air conditioner.

It’s cool and quiet in the showroom. Refreshingly still, the only noise the white noise of the AC. Sirius runs one hand over the Joshua Natural Grained Solid Oak Casket with gray silk lining, admires the Homestead Teak Casket with a tasteful black interior.

And then his neck tingles again. He senses her before he sees her.

Luna Lovegood sits bolt upright from where she has seemingly ensconced herself in the Orion Mahogany Deluxe casket with vermilion satin cushioning. Her smile is jarring, ever so slightly unhinged. Sirius feels his pulse throb in his throat. He isn’t sure if it is fear or desire. He isn’t sure he cares.

“Oh, hello Sirius. I’ve just had the loveliest nap.”

Sirius, who cannot recall ever telling her his name, freezes. Until she beckons him with one milky white hand.

He goes to her as though pulled by invisible magnetic forces.

She grabs hold of his tie. Crimson today, peppered with little gold fleur de lis. She waves her other pale hand in a spiral around his right temple. “You have so many nargles,” she says dreamily. “You do know the best cure for nargles?”

“Nargles?” he asks blankly. She’s wearing another white dress, this one with long lace bell sleeves, and she smells like patchouli, sandalwood, something else he can’t quite place. Her earrings appear to be … a pair of French radishes? Relatively fresh. But he barely registers this before he falls again, transfixed, into her fathomless eyes. “The best cure?”

“Sex of course, silly,” Luna says with a girlish giggle, passing one velvet soft thumb down his jawline.

Sirius swallows and tries, wistfully, to recall the last time he fucked someone. Amy, probably, that swimwear model, in Tahiti. That was three months gone now, before Regulus had called him back.

“I could help you with that, you know.” Luna has wrapped his tie around her hand twice, and she pulls him closer, closer, until their faces are only inches apart. She is still making uncomfortably intense eye contact, still sitting inside the model casket. Sirius’s favorite casket, if he had to choose.

“LUUUU-NA!” Lavender bellows from the other room. “YOUR DAD WANTS YOU!”

She hops out of the casket, steadying herself on his shoulder.

“Come see me,” Luna croons over her shoulder as she skips off with a childish giggle.

At the desk, Sirius passes another of his business cards to Lavender. “Would you give this to Luna for me?”

Lavender rolls her eyes, unceasing in the tapping of her thumb against her phone. “Fine.”

On the forty-five minute commute back to his soulless marble-encrusted bachelor pad, Sirius wonders about nargles.

—

The third time he sees her is on his fourth Saturday back.

This time, he is not here on business.

He parks his Lexus on the street behind the funeral home, looking towards the back door, where she’s asked him to meet her.

While he waits, he scrolls through her texts again. Seven crystal balls. Something apocryphal and indecipherable about nargles. Three sparkle emojis on either side of “you are beautiful.”

What is he even doing?

And then Luna emerges from the battered backdoor of Lovegood Funeral Services, moving past the enormous blue dumpster with so much grace that she almost appears to be hovering off the ground. Her dress is white, of course, but strappy, tighter than he has come to expect. 

It’s so hot that even from thirty feet away, she looks hazy to him through the heat waves rising from the blacktop.

Feeling as though he has left his body, he slams the car door behind him, locks it with the fob. He crosses towards her, and she meets him halfway. Her hand, when it clutches his, is improbably cool.

She leads him next door to the fleabag motel. He does not ask any questions when she produces a key card. He does not ask any questions when she pushes him down on the bed and wraps his tie — a delicate floral in yellow, gray, and black — around his wrists and knots it. He does not ask any questions as she sinks down onto him, moaning more sincerely, more earnestly than anyone he has been with has in at least a decade.

“You have to say my name — mmm —  when you come,” she whispers, bobbing above him. “To — oh — dispell — mmm — the nargles.”

He ejaculates so hard that he almost cries. He comes, of course, shouting her name.

“There,” she whispers after, draping herself over him very thoroughly, and even if it is a bit cloying, she kisses his nose with endearing tenderness. “Your nargles are gone now.”

It is the best sex of his life, and that is saying something.

On the long drive home through the slow crawl of traffic, Sirius considers Luna.

He is ready to believe in nargles, unicorns, ley lines, Tantric orgasms, the various stutterings and silences of the dead. He is ready to buy a dozen dead roses and have them delivered to her door.

Because, you know, she would get it.

Sirius is pretty sure that Luna is magic.