#silly star wars fic

[im-no-jedi]

I’m sorry W H A T

W H A T 😂😂😂

(image from here)

[unspuncreature]

I want to bury my face in his belly button.

I want to put my hat on his nipple.

I want to use his balls as a pillow.

Anakin and Obi-Wan (Elfy-Wan???) in Go Elf Yourself by the hilarious and talented @sendpseuds

commissioned by @palfriendpatine66

[full version]

i am not kidding when i say i loved every second of working on this. cried laughing at one point trying to censor it. tears in my eyes

pal, thank you so much for the opportunity to do something so silly and fun (and saucy) for an absolute riot of a story. you’re so funny and kind and an absolute gem

pseuds, go elf yourself is an international treasure. although i’ve not been as active in interacting with fic recently, i’ve still looked forward to the update each day, quietly laughing at the antics and smiling at the tender moments. thank you for sharing all your creative work as well as your presence in this fandom. i appreciate all you do! i hope you enjoy :o)

if you aren’t reading Go Elf Yourself and this image wasn’t enough to convince you, i’m not sure what else to say. maybe go enjoy a youtube yule log or something, silly goose

if you’d like a commission of your own, check out my 🎄info post🎄

[shih-coulda-had-it]

fan art for @blackkatmagic's amongst dust breathing souls + me puzzling out a'sharad hett's tattoos

[komotionlessqueenmm]

Hunger

(1-1)

Short story # 28

Gif NOT mine.

Summary - You witness Maul gorge for the first time after he's gone two days without food.

Rating - SFW

Reading time (roughly) - 4 minutes

Year posted - 2025

This is just a silly little one that was actually inspired by a video of a dog I witnessed recently... Enjoy.

"Welcome back." (Y/n) hummed with a small smile, greeting Maul as he returned to the palace. He grumbled as he passed her, clearly grumpier than usual. (Y/n) didn't take it to heart knowing that Maul often was in a more sour mood than usual, when coming back from an unsuccessful mission. "I took the liberty of having dinner prepared early today." She stated as she followed him through the near empty halls of the palace. Maul froze mid stride, slowly turning his head to observe his dutiful advisor. "Would you care to join me?" She asked with a knowing look, certain that he would be more interested in eating, than brooding in the throne room. Without a word Maul turned down the hall leading to the dining hall, and (Y/n) trailed behind him happily.

Once inside the dining hall, Maul growled at the sight of the large table nearly filled, with a large array of food. (Y/n) took her usual place at the table, smiling at the evident excitement Maul seemed to be feeling. Quickly he filled his awaiting plate, and dug into his food without so mach as waiting for formalities. Maul barely chewed his food before swallowing and cramming more into his mouth. "When was the last time you ate something?" (Y/n) asked as she observed him eating more savagely than she'd ever seen before. Maul froze for a moment, food clutched in the palms of his hands. He swallowed what was in his mouth, and looked thoughtful for a moment. "Two moons." He said before gorging on the food in both hands. "Maul you can't be serious! My Lord you have enough rations on your ship to last nearly a year!" (Y/n) gasped in astonishment, finding it incredibly hard to believe he didn't have access to food. Mauls glowing eyes were piercing as he looked at her, a deep growl rumbling in his chest.

"Lord Maul if you are not going to take care of yourself during your missions, I feel that it is my responsibility to join you to ensure you are well taken care of." (Y/n) huffed at him, knowing that when he is set on a goal, he disregards everything else until the job is done. "It's to dangerous." Maul grumbled between mouthfuls. "Well either you need to start taking better care of yourself, or train me how to defend myself." (Y/n) stated as a matter of fact. Maul looked at her with incredulous look. "Am I not the Lord here?" He asked in a deadpan voice. "Yes well you're going to get yourself killed, if you don't start taking better care of yourself." She argued, and Maul huffed in annoyance. Although his growl in response was hard to take seriously, as he sat with food smeared across the lower half of his face. "Fine." Maul grumbled before again taking two hand fulls of food, and continuing to gorge himself to the point that (Y/n) feared he might make himself sick.

[sillywizardvoice]

writing star wars fan fiction is SO difficult because this is the bajillionth time I’ve pulled up quinlan vos’ wookiepedia page and he’s in like. two scenes. DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED on the page for mando’a I end up doomscrolling it sometimes. I read the entire biography for Breha Organa before realizing she’s not even in this fic. Maker help me

[written-mishaps]

Chapter 20 is just my shameless excuse to air out my QuinFox drinking headcanons (Fox drinks hard liquor which Quinlan HATES. Quinlan drinks the most interesting cocktails he can find on the menu which Fox pretends to hate but actually really enjoys)

[thisisallyourfaultmiguel]

What I remember about the rise of the Empire is...is how quiet it was. The end of any war is an echo. As the soldier's footsteps come to an end and their weapons clatter to the ground. And suddenly, quiet.

War is so loud, you know. There is yelling and pain and blasterfire. There's death and destruction. Pure and utter violence. To know the quiet is strange.

During the waning hours of the Clone Wars, the 501sst Legion was discreetly transferred back to Coruscant. Something had shifted, before we arrived. There was a mission to be carried out, and we had no choice but to follow through. It was a silent trip. We all knew what was about to happen, what we were about to do. Did we have any doubts? Any private, traitorous thoughts? Not that we a choice in the matter. No one said a word. Not when Order 66 came down, and not when we marched into the Jedi Temple. Not a word.

The galaxy began to mourn the dead. Commanders bury their brothers and the remaining troops fall back into the shadows. Parents stand waiting for their children to arrive at the door, forever in a standstill. Siblings crumble without their other half. Children walk the streets, no mother or father in sight.

Those of us who survived are lost. We know no other life. There is nothing for us to go home to. What are they, without a cause to fight for? What is a soldier without a battle to win? They are tossed away, discarded. No one is around to fight for them. Many have grown within the battle. They know no other world. They've never known peace. They will likely never meet it.

The final moment before a war ends is a cry throughout the universe, for a sacrifice must be made. Innocents must be slaughtered and plots must be hatched in order to end the terror. Something horrible must happen so the galaxy can be born anew. The cry is followed by the echo of all that has been lost. The innocence of the youth. The families that have been build up on the grave of their enemies. A father must fall in order for his child to escape, the boy's cry heard by no one who would help.

We were told we did a service to the Empire. That what we did was good. In recognition of our service and loyalty to the Emperor, the 501st were placed under the direct command of Lord Vader.Our presence let the galaxy know that the days of the Old Repbulic were well and truly over. We were establishing a new era, an era of order and peace.

I am afraid we will be replaced. There are rumors, whispers. That they're trying to replace the Clones. Maybe that won't be so bad. This has been going on so long. It doesn't end. We've been fighting the same evil as long as I can remember. I just want the nightmare to end. Please.

[lemeduartes]

I was at the gym training punches with 5kg halters and a ideia started forming in my mind

Imagine Din and Luke are on a mission together, something to protect Grogu (as usual) and Din HAS to take off his armour for a reason, and then they encounter some stormtroopers and have to fight their way out, but Din is armorless, you would think he is vulnerable, right?

WRONG, he IS NOT, he is surprisingly more of a BEAST then normally, so fucking fast and strong that the imps have no chance against the two of them.

BECAUSE HEAR ME OUT, Din has fought armoured his entire life, THAT AMOUNT OF BESKAR HAS TO BE AT LEAST A FEW KG + You lose mobility with armour! And he learned how to adjust to the weight and everything, so now, without it, he is so fucking faster and stronger that is almost inhumane.

OR.

He is helpless because he can't really move like a real person anymore after years of walking around wrapped in metal.

[finefett]

I looooove how tfa Blurr has besties who also have speech pattern quirks

[tending-the-hearth]

so my brother and i watched the episodes and yes, all signs point to clone x being tech, but we were throwing around suggestions, and we both thought of one name that would cause SO much angst.

dogma.

dogma, who we don't know exactly what happened to him.

dogma, who went along with the regulations until it was too late, and did the only thing he could think of to avenge his fallen brothers, and make it up to the living ones.

dogma, who left behind his best friend after what he did, who learned of tup's death, and wanted to do what he could to help, but ended up trapped and experimented on until he lost every little piece of himself.

just... rex and echo realizing who it is, maybe by taking off the helmet, either when it's too late, or just in time, and both of them just freezing, because it's their vod'ika, the one who struggled so much, whose mind was never truly his own, who was used by so many different evils.

[sherlockholmeshound]

whenever ppl try to come up with some version of 'romance and love isn't forbidden by the jedi, on this one novel-'

i'm just...

[dairine-bonnet]

Who else writes fics this way: hmmmm, it's such an interesting name for a fic, now I definitely have to think of a plot of this fic?

[signaturedish]

Hi glad you're feeling much better!! What's you're all time favourite fics from across your fandoms? Any good ones in Lotrs? SVSSS? Untamed? etc etc gimme em you're tastes are sooo goooood

This made me switch to my iPad because all time fave fics is a very serious topic .

Also thank you lol, I hope you’re doing well too!!

LoTR will sadly have to be omitted, I’ve only read a couple in the last seven years. I got really into The Hobbit for a second, but I liked the more light-hearted stuff and ran out pretty quickly T-T

These are all complete except from the TMA ones-

SVSSS: Tarnished Gold, Metagaming, We Should Stick Together, Deluxe System 2.0: Co-op Mode!, High Mountain How I Long, I Wish You Were My Husband, Tongfang

For the totally uninitiated, I recommend I Wish You Were My Husband- it’s an au using another book’s set up, so you get a solid character reintroduction

The Untamed: Rotten Work, Hunters Seeking Solid Ground, By Any Other Name, To You I Am, I Started from the Bottom/And Now I’m Rich, I Will Be Chasing a Starlight, Lynchpin

For the totally uninitiated, I recommend I Will Be Chasing a Starlight- it’s an au with a Star Trek backdrop so you don’t need context

TGCF: Thousand Gold Come-and-Go Stew, No Paths Are Bound, A Mighty Ocean or a Gentle Kiss, No Water is Enough, Nacreous, Even Across a Thousand Miles

For the totally uninitiated, I recommend Thousand Gold Come-and-Go Stew- it’s a post epilogue au with an amnesia element and limited cast, so you should follow along fine

The Magnus Archives: Forgive Us Our Tresspasses, Look No Further, The Least He Could Do, Nature Has Taught Her Creatures to Hate

For the totally uninitiated, I recommend Nature Has Taught Her Children to Hate- it’s a retelling overhaul so you’re reintroduced to these characters

SVSSS in particular has a lot of funny 1-2 ch scenario fics so I fully recommend checking that archive out for yourself and rifling around- those are just the ones I consider the best of the best. The Untamed has a tonnn of long-form dramas which aren’t my favorites, but clearly well done if you like those more.

And TGCF and TMA are kind of the odd children- high highs, low lows.

If you or anyone also has recs, I demand them in repayment!

[bikananjarrus]

quick question for the star wars fic writers: when you're talking about a jedi master, do you always capitalize 'master'?

for example: i know that if i was referencing a master by name, like "Master Billaba", that would of course be capitalized.

but if i were writing something like: "his master was standing off to the side", do you guys capitalize 'master' then too?

same with padawan. like 'master' and 'padawan' are both roles, and like you wouldn't capitalize "Construction Worker" if you were writing a sentence about a construction worker. but i'm just curious what other people do

[kcrabb88]

For the kiss game 23 for quinobi? I am unhealthily obsessed with them

23. Kiss in relief

(This is a bit of a silly take on relief inspired by a recent Abbot Elementary episode which featured the phrase "date beard.")

"That," Quinlan says, sitting across from Siri in the refectory, "is a date beard."

Siri sighs—more long-suffering than Quin thinks she ought to be . "Dare I ask what a date beard is?"

"A date beard"—Quinlan jabs his finger into the air in emphasis—"is a neatly trimmed beard for the purposes of going out on a date. Obi-Wan didn't have that when he left. Now he does."

"And you assume that he grew said beard over the two months he was gone with his eleven-year-old Padawan to give him a tour of the different work the Jedi are doing across the galaxy for the purposes of going on a date upon his return?"

"It's a very well-taken-care-of-beard."

"It's Obi-Wan," Siri protests. "He's always particular about how he presents himself."

Quin huffs. "You have no sympathy for me."

Siri raises her eyebrows. "I believe the pair of you said you weren't going to be exclusive because it wasn't practical."

"Well." Quinlan clears his throat. "That was before I saw the date beard."

"Obi-Wan," Siri says warmly when their friend reaches their table. "You're back in one piece, I see."

"Barely so," Obi-Wan jokes as he slides into the seat next to Quin. "I may only be twenty-six, but Anakin's energy never runs out, it seems. But the trip was good for him. Seeing more of the galaxy. The work the Jedi do."

They discuss Obi-Wan's trip and Siri and Quin's goings-on. They eat. None of them mentions the beard, but Quin keeps looking at it. He wants to run his hands through it, and he is jealous, and jealousy is not befitting a Jedi.

After a while, Siri, winking at Quinlan, excuses herself.

Early.

"I suppose my beard must not be too terrible," Obi-Wan says with a chuckle. "Or Siri would have told me so."

"Yeah." Quinlan laughs too, but with a anxious tone to it that he can't hide. "I think it looks good."

Obi-Wan gives him a look. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Quin."

"Nothing. Geez, Obes."

Understanding dawns on Obi-Wan's face, and a smirk curls at the edge of his mouth. "You think this is a date beard."

"I ... I do not."

"You do."

"Fine. I do. Is it?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Kenobi."

Obi-Wan laughs, and it lights up his eyes, and fuck that just makes that feeling in Quin's stomach worse. He is suddenly sixteen again.

"It's not a date beard, dearest," Obi-Wan says. "Just a beard. A little nod to Qui-Gon to try out." That smirk grows. "I do believe we had a non-exclusive agreement."

Quinlan leans close, and it pleases him when it makes Obi-Wan blush a little. "I think we need to renegotiate terms."

Obi-Wan snorts, and they find themselves, not long after, behind a column near the refectory where no one can see them. Quinlan kisses Obi-Wan, he slides his fingers along that new beard, and he sighs in relief. Obi-Wan smiles into the kiss, he nips at Quinlan's lip, and he too, seems relieved.

"So," he says, his voice low, "you do like the beard?"

"I do." Quinlan kisses Obi-Wan again, and starts leading them toward his own quarters. "I really, really do."

[cross-d-a]

“This door is a choice, Feemor, and you must make it.”

— Ezra Bridger, chapter 28 of hurricane on the edge of oblivion (with nowhere to go)