#silly parakeet they look so happy

[dailybirdscuzbird]

BIRD WHEEL: Rose-headed Parakeet

@/thatonerandompigeon

@/baneobeees

Rose-headed Parakeets, or Pyrrhura rhodocephala live mostly in the northern region of Venezuela. They fly in large flocks and are usually found in cloud forests or forest edges and they eat many tropical fruits.

[silly-tma-headcanons]

Rosie has questioned her sexuality so many times.

when she was younger like in high school or smth (or whatever the British call it) she always thought that women were just. Unnecessarily beautiful. She always thought it was some type of jealousy, and not just. Her being sapphic.

her first and only boyfriend she married right after Highschool, since she was already so close to him and loved him, and he was her best friend and who doesn’t want to marry their best friend??

when she got out of college and took the job at the institute, she kept getting pressured by her family to have kids. She talked about it with her husband who was slightly questioning as well (but didn’t say anything), and he imediently got defensive.

after the paranoia hit and the eventual divorce, Rosie would occasionally try to date again, but she just couldn’t feel a real connection with any of the men she went out with.

eventually, she came across a few different queeer labels, including Sapphic, but she didn’t feel like she could since she’ en ever went out with a woman, and isn’t even sure if she wants to go out with a woman.

post-s3 she finally has a breather to look into things a bit more. Things aren’t as crazy or hectic (minus flesh incident) anymore and she goes out with a woman. She feels like they could be good friends, and would necessarily mind a romantic relationship either, but she still harbors some relationship trauma from her last one.

post canon flash forward, Rosie has a garden, about four different pride flags in her home (lesbian, aro, demi, to be specific, as well as the progressive pride flag), a parakeet, and is married to her lovely wife who is fully supportive of her weird attraction levels, and has her dream job with a company that is not full of fear entities.

the end.

execpt she occasionally still questions her labels.

(I have so many thoughts about Rosie)

"or whatever the british call it" AMERICANS DNI /silly

thats so real tho!!! after the apocalypse, she DESERVES to live in a lovely cottage up north, away from everyone else, with her wife and bird and perhaps a fish or two.

post apocalypse, she does not care about the institute. or georgie, melanie and basira. she wants to see her partner and propose and leave for good and be happy together, far away from the fears (or as far as they can get).

i can imagine her finding it quite difficult to differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction, so any of her relationships prior to her wife (who I'd imagine, for sillies, is the first person she knew for sure she was romantically attracted to) were just "oh theyre really nice! theyre my best friend!"

[cookinguptales]

Hello all! I'm awake and conscious and ready for some fun Friday the 13th shenanigans.

Before I get started, I'll make my feelings about tarot clear like I always do. I am not psychic, and idk if I even believe in people being psychic. I definitely don't believe that I can tell your future through cartomancy. But tarot, like horoscopes, works well because it operates based on very vague and basic ideas that cater to most people's lives. Most people think about love and money and friends and creative projects, whether positively or negatively. It's easy to see yourself in the cards because the cards are based on very basic human tropes.

All that said, I don't think that's a bad thing! It's like that old saying, y'know? If you want to make a choice, flip a coin -- then think about which outcome you were rooting for. I think that tarot cards and their archetypes can appeal to almost anyone, but in very personal and different ways. I think that can be something that helps you organize your thoughts.

So, y'know, if I say something vague and it makes you think of something specific, maybe that's a thing that you need to be thinking about. Maybe it's near to the top of your thoughts for a reason. I don't think anyone should make important decisions solely based on a tarot reading, but if you find yourself "rooting" for a certain outcome, maybe that's something you should pay attention to.

I'm not psychic and I don't know your life -- but you do, and you should listen to yourself!

Anyway, just my two cents. I'm about to order pizza and start the movie, but I'm also opening my askbox up to tarot requests.

Here's how it works:

I am pulling 13 tarot decks from my collection to celebrate Friday the 13th. These are in a random order currently, but I suppose they'll be revealed as people choose them.

Send me an ask with a number 1-13 as well as something that'll identify you. Like an emoji or something, idk. (I say this both because I get a lot of anons for this and because if I just get a bunch of "13"s, they all look the same in my notes and idk what people are responding to.)

If you've seen me do this before and have a specific deck you'd like to request, that's fine, too! I can't make any promises, but if I have it on-hand, I'll be happy to use it for you.

As usual, I will be doing both serious and silly readings! If you'd like me to do a reading based on the traditional readings of the cards, please let me know that you'd like a serious reading. If you'd like me to make up some harebrained reading based on the images on the cards, like a skeleton Halloween party or some torrid love affair between people buying far too many swords, I'm happy to do that as well! Just let me know you'd like a silly reading!

I have decks in my collection that are either full 78-card decks or Major Arcana-only decks. A lot of people only like to use the former for readings as it can provide a more nuanced and traditional reading, but a lot of other people don't care! If you have a strong preference either way, just let me know and I'll swap out the random deck you've chosen for one that fits your needs.

To combine the last two points, I also have a lot of very silly decks! A lot of those are Major Arcana-only, but not all of them. I think it's fun to do tarot with something like Gravity Falls or Lisa Frank or The Muppets or one that's exactly like the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot but all the humans are replaced with like. Parakeets. If you do not want a silly deck, be sure to let me know about that, too!

Uhhh, I think that's it! If you think there's anything else I should know, just lmk! I'll just be doing basic three-card draws, so let's have fun with it. I've already had my nap, so I'll probably be going all night. That said, I'll probably get kind of drunk and silly as things go because I fully intend to drink through these movies. So if you want me fully lucid, get in on the ground floor.

Okay time for pizza and.... Jason? I think that Friday the 13th is Jason. It's my first time watching them and I will be livetweeting them on twitter. lmao

[minabluelove]

Thank you for tagging me <3 @d-u-s-t-9379

Were you named after anyone?

No my sister just randomly thought of a name and everyone went with it

Do you have kids?

No, but sometimes i read things about good parenting just in case (im single and don't plan on having kids anytime soon but... just in case)

Use sarcasm a lot?

I use it a bit, i wouldn't say a lot

First thing you notice 'bout people?

Eyebrows and smile

Eye color?

Brown

Scary movies or happy ending?

I'm a horror fan first, also some happy endings look too corny for me

Special talent?

I don't know if it's special but i like my makeup looks i'm pretty good at it

Your hobbies?

I go to the cinema a lot; I love music, hearing new releases, discovering new artists and knowing some fun trivia on how and why some albums and songs were made; I collect kpop photocards too (Twice mostly) and what I love more than anything is to hang out with my friends specially when we get our silly little boba tea 🥹

Any pets?

2 cats 2 dogs and a demon parakeet named Irene

Playing any sport?

No but i want to do ballet again once i get my life together

How tall..?

5'4''

Favourite subject in school?

In highschool it was english, since i was one of the only fluent people in my class i got the best grades 😁 and i'm going to say the favorite from college too because i love having opportunities to bring up my radio classes <3

Dream job: Ok so growing up i always wanted to be a singer but that's a lot of needed money and nepotism to work in this country and i know it's unrealistic. Now i would love to work on radio, have a nice successful podcast (i have been thinking of one with my friend) but also i would love to be a makeup artist professionally, i have done some makeup gigs here and there but i want editorial or special effects in some type of movie because i loooove that.

Well I don't have active mutuals here so I have no one to tag but if anyone sees this pretend like you were tagged 🥹

[anonymous-astronaut]

mercs selecting a new pet

Awe! This one’s adorable!

Scout: He would go in thinking he was gonna get like a German shepherd or a Rottweiler, and then he’d see a little bunny that would absolutely melt him into a puddle of goo. He’d just scoop up this thing and hold it to his chest and be fully prepared to die for it within two seconds of seeing it. Takes it home, sets up a little rabbit pen in his room, buys it toys, lets it chew on his hair while he naps, and actually does a really great job taking care of it. When no one else is around, he cries a little if does something too cute.

Soldier: He is very happy with his raccoons, I don’t think he would actively go out in search of a new pet. However, if a possum shows up in his trash can one day… that’s just a new friend for free. He basically just thinks it’s a weird raccoon, and it quickly becomes a confused but content member of the chaotic little family.

Pyro: Literally no one knows what Pyro is going to come home with when they go out in search of a pet, and then they bring back a massive red tegu and everyone else is terrified of it. Pyro adores it and carries it around like a baby, but all it has to do is glare at the other mercs and they immediately feel like this thing knows their deepest secrets. It wanders around and chills out in the sun, it knows it’s top dog in the base and enjoys scaring the others, and Pyro is great at giving it lots of diet variety and enrichment.

Demoman: Demo isn’t sure what he wants, but ends up falling in love with a green cheeked parakeet! He likes having an intelligent pet that responds to him, and gives it constant attention. It likes to ride around on his head and shoulders, and he teaches it to whistle Scottish drinking songs. He trains it to recall very well, and doesn’t trim its wings. It’s very friendly and affectionate, and even gets along well with the other mercs.

Engie: He grew up with a family dog, and he really really misses it. He always assumed he was too busy to take care of one, but he finally convinced himself and goes to a shelter. He comes home with a cattle dog, and they slowly but surely form an absolutely unshakable bond. Engie trains it very well, and takes providing for it properly very seriously. He gives it little shoes and goggles for safety if it ever hangs out with him in his workshop.

Heavy: Heavy didn’t really see the point in having a pet. He has no intention of getting one, but a grumpy old cat missing an eye come to him for help and he can’t say no. He plans on just taking care of it for the night and taking it to a shelter, but… for some reason he can’t bring himself to. The cat isn’t the most affectionate or lively cat in the world, but it slowly starts to trust him. When it falls asleep on his lap for the first time Heavy feels so accomplished and content. After that, this cat is HIS. They quietly read together and he couldn’t be happier to have a companion.

Medic: When it comes to animals, his first priority is his doves. He is very kind to all animals, but he’s only really interested in keeping doves. I think the most he would do to branch out is maybe get a few other breeds, like some fancy carrier pigeons or a fantail. He enjoys training them and loves how affectionate and docile they are. To him, doves/pigeons are the ultimate pet.

Sniper: Sniper is always picking up critters off the ground and showing them to anyone who will look, but he likes to leave wild things in the wild. He’d love to have a dog, but he knows he doesn’t have room in the van. He ends up befriending the local wildlife to the point where they are practically pets, like the crows bring him presents and the chipmunks trust him, that kind of thing. He always has healthy critter snacks on him to hand out to his little friends. He gets bitten by shit all the time, but to him, earning their trust is worth it.

Spy: Spy says he’s above having pets, says it’s a silly concept and thinks dogs are slobbery and undignified, but then he sees a glorious Turkish Angora cat and it’s love at first sight. He takes her home and treats her like a queen. This is the most spoiled cat on the planet and she knows it, like if she decided to sleep on his face Spy would just let himself suffocate and die. Her fur is the only thing he doesn’t complain about getting on his suit.

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

thanks for the amazingly edited chapters and translations, i'm always elated when i see that a chapter has dropped on your twitter and i have a lot of fun trying to rap the lyrics out loud. on a lighter note, if the characters in hypnosis mic were animals, which ones do you think they would be? (don't feel confined to the rules of basic biology, siblings can be different animals and so can parents, also multiple characters can be the same animal if you so please)

Ahhh that's a really kind thing to say haha. Now I'll need to put extra effort into the raps... some of them are very much rappable, and some of them I look at later and go, "Wtf? How in the world did that come out of my mouth?"

Hmm... this is a very interesting question... I haven't thought about it much before, but let me give it a shot. Under a cut for length.

Ichirou - Ichirou seems pretty dog-like to me. He’s very oriented around the concept of family and would do anything to protect them. He’s also happiest when playing around with his family, loves food, and is happy performing services for other people.

Jirou - I think Jirou would make a good dolphin. He’s playful and athletic, very empathetic, and does best when surrounded by friends and family.

Saburou - Saburou is, I think, a young horse. He likes to show off and is very talented and flashy, but he can be a little skittish or fragile deep down.

Samatoki - Samatoki reminds me of a crocodile. He’s quick to lash out and very aggressive, but he can also be plenty social and quite friendly when he’s in a good mood.

Juuto - Juuto is a swan. He looks elegant on the surface but can be mean to make ends meet. He also becomes very aggressive whenever anything near and dear to him is threatened.

Riou - Riou is a capybara. He's pretty chill when left to his own devices, and he is incredibly social, capable of getting along with just about anyone.

Ramuda - Ramuda is a sun conure. I like using the caged bird image a lot for Ramuda - thanks, parrot outfit, for giving me a canon justification for this - and so I think a parakeet fits him well, especially the younger Ramuda. He's very inquisitive and likes mimicking human behavior in addition to showing off and being cuddly. He enjoys being around people and can end up depressed when left on his own. He's also loud and obnoxious but perhaps in a good way.

Gentarou - Gentarou's a chinchilla. He's very fastidious with how he presents himself, and he relies on his social groups for his own mental health.

Dice - Dice is a cattle tyrant, because he goes after thrills the way these birds make quick maneuvers in the air to go after insects. Plus, he often hangs around capy Riou to be fed, who enjoys his company.

Jakurai - My friend Cha suggested Jakurai would be an elephant. Besides the size, he also moves slowly and deliberately, is very intelligent and empathetic, and strongly cares for community and taking care of children.

Hifumi - Hifumi is a bowerbird. He can look flashy and delights in showing off for women, but he also takes pride and joy in building and maintaining a good home.

Doppo - He reminds me of a periodical cicada that spends much of its life underground, going about the serious task of feeding, then rarely emerges all at once to make a glorious display of sound.

Sasara - Sasara is a chimpanzee. He's clever, creative, and often playful, but he also boasts a more aggressive side. I think chimps also like melon if they can get it... melon soda...

Roshou - Roshou is an emperor penguin. He looks elegant from a distance but may be a little silly up close. He's very concerned about raising children right in a group environment and is perhaps rather more loyal than he should be.

Rei - Rei is a crow capable of making clever plots and creating complex tools to help him out. He likes horsing around and mocking other people in addition to collecting shiny bling like that gold necklace.

Kuukou - I think he would be a mongoose. He's a little guy, very fierce, and completely unafraid to take on even the most fearsome guys out there. He has a lot of courage and a heart of gold.

Juushi - Juushi would be an owl butterfly or another butterfly or moth with eyespots on his wings. Metamorphosis is a big theme for him, and he uses his flashy outer appearance as a means to confuse and throw off those who would hurt him.

Hitoya - Hitoya is a honey badger. He's tough and can fight to protect the ones he cares about. He also doesn't take shit from anybody and can be a little prickly at times, but his tenacity is what people admire about him.

[miscecanis]

HC: pets certain dynamics lean forward to most

!!! this is so interesting!!!!

alphas:

dogs! alphas are unabashedly loyal and similar in their own respects to dogs. i think they would desire a pet that would listen to them, one that would be by their side no matter what. also, dogs like to play hard, and i see alphas wanting a pet they can tussle with and do physical activity with if it’s something they like. also, i think they’d really love training and teaching commands.

ferrets! going along with the theme of playful alphas, i think they’d really enjoy a hyperactive pet like a ferret! always chasing them around and they’d just have toys all over their house lol. imaging an alpha walking around with a lil ferret around their neck is so wholesome aahhh!! and ferrets can be adorable lil snuggle buddies too, which i’m sure any alpha would appreciate (even though they may never admit it.)

horses! again going along with the active theme as well as the desire to train, i think alphas would love having a horse. perhaps using them to compete in racing or jumping or sports in general, or maybe even just riding for the pure desire of feeling free and adventurous with the wind in your hair and all with their personal companion. plus alphas wouldn’t mind the upkeep of a stable!

snakes! alphas would be drawn to snakes maybe for the fact that they just look epic in general? or perhaps that they’re dangerous? or maybe as a warning to others that they’re not afraid of anything. or honestly, they just want a snake because SNAKES ARE EPIC!! instead of a ferret scarf around the alpha’s neck, imagine a long ball python? epic.. also they’d probably name them something silly like “noodle” or “george” tbh. they’re not afraid of their little buddy, and their snake probably has an awesome decked out enclosure that’s themed all spooky-like. they’d probably have more than one snake too bc let’s be real, snakes are so fun and cool.

betas:

birds! especially talkative birds! betas would love to just sit with them and have tons of conversations and teach them to say new things. imagine a beta walking around with a parrot or little parakeet or cockatiel on their shoulder? 🥺 my heart !!! their birds would only sleep in a cage at night, bc the rest of the day they’re just hanging out. they’d probably hand build them an epic cage too.

hamsters! for whatever reason i am feeling that betas would be drawn to hamsters! they are so tiny and cute. i could totally see a beta being like “psst, wanna see what i’ve got?” and pulling a hamster out of their pocket. it would totally help them attract omegas, who would be all like “OMG!!! A BABY!!! ITS SO TINY!!!!” and like... YES. also, they’d find such joy in decorating and designing a massive enclosure just for their little buddy.

rats! just like hamsters i feel like betas would just love rodents in general? rats and betas to me are a lot alike, in that they are very curious and smart, inquisitive and always wanting to know more. they also love to explore, and i could totally see a beta with their little rat buddy exploring new places. their rat would have a tiny harness and omg 🥺 !! it would just be so cute seeing them walk together and explore new things.

frogs! betas are definitely frog people, they would love making little hats for their frog and building them an awesome enclosure. they would love blogging about their frog or posting cute pictures of them on instagram! they’d probably have a whole youtube channel dedicated to their frog if i’m being entirely honest lol!

omegas:

cats! i definitely see omegas as more cat-like in general and i think they’d mesh best with kitty friends. cats are very snuggly and would appreciate a cozy nest, to be curled up at the omega’s side as they read a book or play a video game. they’re pretty laid back and don’t require as much upkeep, but for me, i find cats to be very playful and loving! they’re a little purr machine too- and when an omega and a kitty are laying together, believe me when i say they’ll definitely be purring along with each other... like how sweet is that 🥺!! omegas like to play, and i feel like cats are a good balance between playful and peaceful, which is great for an omega.

bunnies! i think omegas would also be really drawn to a cute and tiny pet that requires a lot of care. omegas like to care for others, so an animal like this which takes a lot of work would be great! plus bunnies can be really cuddly and playful too! they’d more than likely let them free roam and would take lots of pride in decorating the house for their bunny, or bunny proofing it. they’d treat them like their lil baby and take super cute pictures of their bun. also, omegas are similar to bunnies in the way of their sensitives and softness, so i think they’d just genuinely mesh well.

geckos! omegas are drawn to cute things. and what’s cuter than a gecko? or any tiny lizard as a matter of fact? i mean come on!!!! they’re so tiny and adorable! omegas love pets they can hold, so as long as their lizard doesn’t mind being held sometimes, they’re super happy with one. they might be squicked out about the bug part (for some lizards), but they still really enjoy having them as a pet. they’ll most definitely show it off. they’ll probably sit there watching the lil thing all day long with just an “owo” face, so enthralled with its cuteness and little activities.

guinea pigs! tbh i think omegas would be really comforted by those soft little squeaky noises that guinea pigs make. guinea pigs are very similar to omegas too in their shyness and such, so i think it would be easiest for a guinea pig and an omega to become friends and trust each other. their guinea pigs would be so pampered and loved, and have places to hide all over their house!

[wonkasmissstarshine]

The Chocolatier’s Rose {Willy Wonka x OC} Ch. 10

GIFs not mine. Credit go to owners.

Summary: The remaining guests are shown the Nut Sorting Room. Veruca is revealed to be a bad nut, something that Rose has known from the start.

Tagging: @holdmeicant​ @willymywonkers​

"Without the boat, we'll have to move double time just to keep on schedule" Willy told everyone as they walked down a red and white hallway. "There's far too much to see"

"Mr Wonka?" Charlie piped up.

"Yeah?"

"Why did you decide to let people in?"

"Well, so they could see the factory of course" Willy stated. It was a simple answer, but it seemed that there was more behind it.

Charlie inquired further. "But why now? And why only five?"

Mike pushed past Charlie and asked greedily, "What's the special prize, and who gets it?"

"The best kind of prize is a sur-prize!" Willy answered Mike and then laughed.

Veruca pushed past Mike. "Will Violet always be a blueberry?" The little spoiled brat asked. She seemed all to happy about the fact that Violet became a blueberry, and now she was out of the way.

"No. Maybe. I don't know" Willy answered her. "But that's what you get from chewing gum all day. It's just disgusting"

"I agree" Rose said. She knew that Violet's gum chewing would come back to bite her in the butt.

"If you hate gum so much, why do you make it?" Mike questioned.

"Once again, you really shouldn't mumble 'cause it's really starting to bum me out" Willy retorted.

Charlie asked yet another question. "Can you remember the first candy you ever ate?"

Willy came to a stop. He mumbled out "No", before he gazed off, growing distant again. He was like that for a moment, before Rose placed a hand on his arm and snapped him out of it. "I'm sorry, I was having a flashback" He said dreamily.

"I see" Mr Salt said, eyeing Willy cautiously, pulling Veruca closer to him.

"These flashbacks happen often?" Mr Teavee asked, also eyeing Willy cautiously.

An off smile appeared on Willy's face. "Increasingly.... today" He continued walking and everyone else followed him. He brought them to a room named Nut Sorting Room.

"Ah, this is a room I know all about" Mr Salt remarked. "For you see, Mr Wonka, I myself am in the nut sorting business" Mr Salt gave Willy one of his business cards, but without sparing even a glance at it, Willy threw it over his shoulder. Rose laughed in amusement at this. "Are you using the Havermax Four Thousand to do your sorting?" Mr Salt asked, oblivious to the fact that Willy tossed away his business card.

"No" Willy said to Mr Salt. He laughed. "You're really weird" Willy opened up the room, allowing everyone inside. The room was bright white, and beyond the railing everyone was standing behind, was a white floor with blue swirls on it with a hole on the middle of it. Large glass containers containing nuts were suspended in the air. Tubes were attached to the containers which dropped the nuts into stations. But the most amusing part about the room was the fact that there were about a hundred squirrels, each sat on their own stool. It would seem that the squirrels sorted the nuts.

"Squirrels!" Veruca chirped happily and wide eyed.

"Yeah. Squirrels" Willy nodded. "These squirrels are specially trained to get the nuts out of the shells"

"What a clever idea!" Rose said, making Willy smile in her direction.

Mr Salt, however, seemed to have a different opinion on the matter. "You use squirrels? Why not use Oompa-Loompas?"

"Because, only squirrels can get the whole walnut out almost every time" Willy explained. "You see how they tap each one with their knuckles to make sure it's not bad?" One of the squirrels tapped the nut on the edge of the feeder, and held it up to its ear. "Oh, look!" Willy pointed to that squirrel. "I think that one's got a bad nut"  The squirrel threw the nut behind itself. It tumbled down the swirly floor until it disappeared into the hole.

Veruca looked up at her father. "Daddy, I want a squirrel!" She demanded. "Get me one of those squirrels. I want one"

Rose whispered in Charlie's ear. "I don't think this is going to end well" He nodded in agreement. Based on what she saw happen to Augustus and Violet, Rose just knew that Veruca's spoiled attitude was going to get her in a sticky situation today.

"Veruca, dear, you have many marvellous pets" Mr Salt definitely did not what to deal with this right now.

"All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle and a silly old hamster!" Veruca listed off. Wow, even with as many pets as she has, she's still not satisfied. Rose wondered what it took with this girl and how her parents ever put up with her. "I want a squirrel!" Veruca stomped her foot.

Rose rolled her eyes, and mocked Veruca. "I want a squirrel!" She silently mouthed with exaggerated gestures and expressions. Willy laughed at Rose's imitation, finding it rather amusing.

"All right, pet" Mr Salt gave in to his daughter's demands. "Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can" Rose groaned and rolled her head back. Willy was watching the two Salts with a blank expression.

"But I don't want any old squirrel" Rose pinched the bridge of her nose. She didn't like where Veruca was going with this. "I want a trained squirrel"

Mr Salt sighed. "Very well" He looked at Willy. Willy looked back at Mr Salt, a fake smile on his face, knowing the question that was going to come out of Mr Salt's mouth. "Mr Wonka, how much do you want for one of these squirrels? Name your price" Veruca also looked up at Willy. A big smile was on her face, thinking that if she acted cute, that she'd get her way.

"Oh, they're not for sale" Willy denied them. Rose smirked, feeling slightly pleased that things weren't going the spoiled brat's way. "She can't have one"

Veruca smile dropped. She turned to her father, absolutely fuming. "Daddy!" She threatened, as if that was going to change anything.

Mr Salt just stared at his daughter, at a loss of words. "I'm sorry, darling" It wasn't Mr Salt who said it. It was Willy doing a perfect imitation of Mr Salt's voice. "Mr Wonka's being unreasonable"

Veruca glared at Willy again before she turned it to her father. "Fine. If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!" She decided. She slipped through the gate and descended into the squirrel's work area.

"Veruca" Mr Salt warned.

"Little girl?" Willy tried to call to Veruca. She ignored both of them.

"Veruca, come back here at once!" Mr Salt called to her again, his voice a little more strict. "Veruca!"

Veruca looked around until she had her eyes set on the perfect squirrel. She started approaching it. All the squirrels stopped their work, and stared at the girl. "Little girl?" Willy tried warning her. "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts. It'll make him crazy!"

Again, Veruca ignored him. She marched up to her chosen squirrel. She and the squirrel looked each other straight in the eye. An evil grin came across Veruca's face and she reached out to the squirrel. "I'll have you!"

Before she could grab the squirrel, all the other squirrels jumped off their stools. They all ran to Veruca. Mr Salt was growing terrified. He shook the gate. "Veruca!" Willy took out his ring of many keys. "Veruca! Veruca!" Mr Salt was still calling out to her. By now, all the squirrels had jumped onto Veruca. They had knocked her down to the ground. Mr Salt desperately shaked the gate again.

Willy looked through his many keys. "Let's find the key" He tried the first one. "Not that one"

"Daddy!" Veruca called out desperately to her father.

"Veruca!" He called back.

Willy tried another key. "No!" Rose took note of the amused smile on Willy's face. It was like he was deliberately taking his time with the keys. The squirrels started pinning down Veruca. Willy tried yet another key. "There it is.... there it isn't"

"Daddy, I want them to stop!" Veruca pleaded. One of the squirrels hopped onto her stomach. Veruca raised her head to look at it. The squirrel began touching her face. It tapped on her forehead and then listened to it.

"What are they doing?" Charlie asked.

"They're testing to see if she's a bad nut" Willy answered. The squirrel squeaked. "Oh my goodness, she is a bad nut after all"

"Veruca!" Mr Salt shouted in horror when the squirrels started carrying Veruca to the hole.

"Daddy!" Veruca yelled for help.

"Where are they taking her?" Mr Salt asked, his eyes still on Veruca.

"Where all the other bad nuts go. To the garbage chute" Willy answered.

"Where does the chute go?"

"To the incinerator" Willy said it so lightly, but there was a rather dark meaning behind his words. "But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays!"

"Today is Tuesday" Mike pointed out.

Willy shot Mike a glance. "Well, there's always the chance they decided not to light it today!" The squirrels had accomplished their goal and threw Veruca down the chute. Rose would have felt bad for the girl, if she hadn't decided to try and commit theft when things weren't going her way. Willy turned to Mr Salt to try and explain. "Now, she may be stuck in the chute just below the top. If that's the case, all you have to do is just reach in and pull her out. Okay?"

Willy had the correct key in the lock. He turned it and then pulled the gate opened. He stepped aside so Mr Salt could get by. Mr Salt began descending the stairs, and Willy closed the gate. That's when the Oompa-Loompas came out and sang another song. Willy and Rose both nodded their heads along to the music.

Veruca Salt

The little brute

Has just gone down the garbage chute.

And she will meet as she descends

A rather different set of friends

A rather different set of friends

A rather different set of friends

A fish head for example cut

This morning from a halibut.

An oyster from an oyster stew

A steak that no one else would chew.

And lots of other things as well each

With its rather horrid smell (horrid smell)

These are Veruca's new found friends

That she will meet as she descends

These are Veruca's new found friends

Who went and spoiled her, who indeed?

Who pandered to her every need?

Who turned her into such a brat?

Who are the culprits?

Who did that?

The guilty ones

Now this is sad

Are dear old mum, and loving dad

The Oompa-Loompas had guided Mr Salt over to the chute. He peered down it, trying to see if he could find Veruca. One of the squirrels hopped off of its stool and pushed him into the chute. Willy laughed a little when Mr Salt fell in. Rose tried to hide her laughter by pressing her lips together. That didn't stop her amused grin, however.

An Oompa-Loompa tugged on Willy's coat. Willy squatted down and let the Oompa-Loompa talk in his ear. "Oh, really?" A smile appeared on Willy's face. "Oh, good!" He stood back up and informed the others. "I've just been informed that the incinerator broken. So there should be about three weeks of rotten garbage to break their fall!"

"Oh, well that's good news" Mr Teavee replied in a sarcastic tone.

"Yeah," Willy said, his eyes trailing over to Rose. "Well, let's keep on trucking" He held out his arm to her, offering her to take it. She gladly accepted his offer and held onto his arm. And, with that, everyone left the Nut Sorting Room.

[phantomoftheblank]

’The Heart Of Darkness’ by Joseph Conrad made me think about Aesthetics, lets talk about.

I told myself in 2020, that I was going to read more. As a writer, this is something I should probably be doing. I find myself not really an avid enjoyer of fiction which is terrible given I spend all my time writing fiction. I’ve written 5 books and only edited 1 one of them and have any plans of publishing the one, so yeah, that’s probably a sign I need to enjoy fiction more.

I’m a catty bitch, and “not like most girls” so I told myself I needed something a bit more “pretentious literature” than your average Young Adult fiction book. (no knocks to them, I love you little bastards as well) But I did decide to find something related to classic literature. I found The Heart Of Darkness on a day trip to Barnes and Noble which all of us know is a horrible place to go when you “wanna read something a bit different,” cause you end up buying a bunch of shit you don’t need, and if you’re like me, it ends up on your library shelf to judgmentally stare at you when you’re complaining in your room you have nothing to read. That was me, I did that, I am "That Girl”.

I read it within a span of 2 days. Which for me, is a large deal, given it takes me forever to even get into a book, show interest enough to read and at least 30 minutes to prepare the tea I don’t drink but tell myself I need to read.

It took 2 days to galp this book down, because I fell in love with it, finished it and then asked myself; why did I love this book so much? Was it the depressing end? Well, perhaps, I’m a whore for a sad ending, but it wasn’t just that,

It wasn’t just that the character, of Joseph Conrad himself on his trip to Africa was so interesting and a time period I genuinely care for, and it wasn’t just the fact that you could tell he was writing about real people.

It was the Aesthetic. Which I’ve come to realize as a big ole half-writer, may be more important than meets the eye. Let me explain further --

When writing, it is our jobs as the storyteller to paint a picture inside words people are reading, most the time when they're ready to go to bed, so the pressure to actually make this worth while reading and to ruin the audiences sleep schedule for the upcoming days or weeks, we need that to be a good picture. If you paint a really detailed picture of anything, somebody will care,

You could paint a hyper-realistic banana, and at the end of the day, it's just a banana, maybe a really detailed banana, but a banana, and somebody will love it. That's the beauty of writing, it's interpretive and we all know that, but the aesthetic is what draws us. Maybe the banana has a very vivid dark aura around it, fuck if I know,

Look, I'm losing my target audience here, but my point is, whatever you write about could be trash, as long as you have aesthetic, I'll read your trash book. Because aesthetic is everything, and it's not just me who feels this way,

Take the fantasy genre for instance, just only recently has there been backlash for "white medieval fantasy's" but that didn't stop it from being one of the highest grossing book selling genre's of the year, did it? No, because it has aesthetic, it is beyond "white medieval fantasy," it's about the aesthetic of a damsel queen in a dark red dress in a Victorian setting and not just a monkey on her shoulder, no, tis a golden parakeet, and you've never seen anything more beautiful,

My example for this, is the book "Miss Periwinkle's Homestead for Unlovable Children," or something like that, is the synopsis of the book intriguing? Yes, but the mere fruit it offers you is a tomato. Now, I'm sure the audience that did enjoy this book, knows what book I'm referencing and I'm more so shocked that you actually read this far than I am going to defend myself, It is a book about Emily being mean and looking super cool, and the main character is also there and you just end up feeling bad for the dad. Or maybe that was just my experience, but I kept reading even though I knew, I hated this book.

I read this book, because the aesthetic of vintage photographs being described in a jaw dropping manor and the ideology of these orphans in a large house with lovely powers, and a group dining table and everybody having their own unique trait, was aesthetically pleasing to me as a lover of vintage objects.

I loved the silly theatric circus freak vibe that it gave me, ringing off the pages and seeping into my brain. Even with the hatred I have for the plot of this book, and how dreadfully unfilled I was at the end, I'm still compelled when I walk through the book store, to pick up the second one to find something that actually fulfils my desire for the aesthetic.

My aesthetic is something that is heavily related to my lack of love for fiction and definitely the reason I'm so pretentious. But ironically, at the same time, why I don't enjoy the pretentious writing style of Maggie Stiefvater in a very popular book, The Raven Boy's. I had to pick up the damn audiobook, just to drag myself through it.

Now this isn't a dreadfully long essay about why I'm a picky asshole, though it may seem like it, this is a think piece I wrote at two AM, to speak to mainly myself about the aesthetic and it's key purposes in writing,

It's actually more so an uplift to hopefully you, maybe a squirrel, mostly myself? That whatever you write, you may not be pleased with, but write as a pretentious asshole for once and let the aesthetic go wild. Because you may find that the aesthetic is the key to writing a story you, and an audience will love.

I will tell you, as a happy ending, that I found a book based on only aesthetic, that ended up being my favorite book of all time, (’The Monstrumologist’ by Rick Yancey)

Ditch the advice of humbling yourself, and let your pretentious nature that being a writer has given you a birth right too, run wild,

Be full of yourself, be kind to yourself, don't take your own criticism if it's not constructive. Never take "this isn't a good story," for an answer. Simply reply, "But honey, the aesthetic is hot,"

What I'm trying to say, is that I turned into a whore for the aesthetic, and so should you.

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Thank you Mr. Yamada

Summary: You’re undergoing some serious stress involving grades and schoolwork, and when Aizawa proves less than helpful, you end up confiding in an oddly sweet and comforting Present Mic.

We’ve all talked smack about a teacher before right? Lol cuz this has some of that... and even good teachers make mistakes by telling us things we don’t want to hear... 

I wanna dedicate this to Mental Health month, because I know students have struggled with school and it can take a toll on our mental health, and not just school, but with work and life in general so... this might be my favorite fic so far. Cuz I’m sure we’ve all had those wonderful teachers who have actually helped us during some times where we really needed it.

And no there’s NO romance at all in this fic, Reader just has a crush on Present Mic but it don’t go no further than that. This is purely platonic anf fluffy fic featuring a teacher just helping out a student because teachers are supposed to help students. And I can see Present Mic being an emotionally intelligent dude since his intelligence is at 5/5, smarter than Aizawa cuz he’s only 4/5... XD

Sorry Aizawa lol...

And I shamelessly alluded to Mean Girls quite a bit in this one I just love that movie XD

BTW SORRY FOR ANY OOC-NESS!!

Featuring: Favorite Parakeet Dad!!

You're never gonna be alone! From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go, I won't let you fall, You're never gonna be alone! I'll hold you 'till the hurt is gone.

-”Never Gonna Be Alone” by Nickelback

“*You… have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand the rights I have read to you?*” 

In English class with your favorite teacher, you had recited the Miranda rights in often stated in America from police when they arrested villains and criminals during the lesson of differences in hero laws in Japan and America. English had gotten easier for you, and you liked to think you were slightly better at it than most of your classmates were.

“YES! Perfection (L/N)! Always the first one to answer right on the dot!” Yamada made sure to loudly praise you in front of the class, because while he didn’t want to play favorites like your homeroom teacher did, he felt that it was necessary since you looked like you needed a little support lately.

“T-Thank you, Mr. Yamada.” You somewhat shyly thanked your English teacher after receiving such praise, not entirely oblivious to some looks your classmates were giving to Yamada. They weren’t jealous or anything, but the loud pro-hero certainly made it a point to make you sound like the best student in this class.

Needless to say, it kind of made you happy since you had been struggling lately in your other classes. Especially with Aizawa. 

Speaking of which…

You were distracted and feeling kinda groggy the entire time in the Hero course, sighing as you tiredly stared off into space and barely registering anything Aizawa, or was it Iida talking? Whoever it was, you weren’t really listening, you were thinking of something else and trying to not think about how bad you were doing in class.

After seeing everyone improve on their quirks and overcoming their own issues, just… really made you feel like you were doing the opposite. And you hated it…

Everyday you tried your hardest, pushed yourself even if it made your muscles ache and your bones hurt the next day. You worked with your quirk as much as you could, even trying to carry a larger portion of water to try and control it as much as you could. Your parents worried that you were going overboard and trying to go beyond your limits, but you really just wanted to get better like everyone else. Not just to feel proud of yourself, but to make everyone around you proud. Even if it meant working yourself tired, and even if it meant forcing yourself to keep everything inside so you could focus on what mattered.

However…

For a while you had really been pretending to be okay until class ended and lunch break had started. Before you could get up to leave to the cafeteria, Aizawa stopped you.

“(L/N).”

You sighed to yourself, closing your eyes and preparing yourself to reluctantly go over to your teacher. What did you do this time? “Yes?” Despite your mood, you made sure to sound polite.

“I need your parents to sign this.” Aizawa gave you a report with a few marks on it, which was detailing a list of things you apparently needed to work on. “Let them know that you’re failing.” The words hit you like a school bus as you inhaled deeply.

“Failing?” You asked incredulously, even though you believed it based on your gradually worsening performances and lack of focus in class lately. He nodded, but it almost seemed as if he didn’t want to tell you this.

“That’s right. I’ve been seeing you regress during physical training. Your supermove also needs more work and thought put into. You barely managed to get your hero license because you had your classmates help you out. I don’t know what’s been distracting you, but you need to work on that because it’s getting in the way of your progress.” Every critique he gave you felt like arrows to your back as you kept your composure.

“I see that you’re struggling, but that’s why I’m telling you what you need to work on, because I know you have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it. You don’t want to waste it by letting your vulnerabilities show.” Aizawa wasn’t exactly trying to sound harsh, but he was being honest with you to let you know what he was seeing from you.

“How would you know what vulnerabilities are?”

You steadied your breathing while your teacher talked, resisting the urge to storm out and ignore him like you had been the past couple of months.

“I can help you. You’re here to become a hero, and it’s my job to make sure that you become one. And you can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up to the others. But I know you’re stronger and smarter than this, so I’m going to give you more study sessions and training sessions to help you improve.” He offered you help, but all you heard was him accuse you of not trying to catch up.

“I understand. Thank you, sir, I needed to hear that.” You smiled politely albeit a little sadly. That was a complete lie, you were aware that you were struggling and the way he said all of that just made you feel like shit.

But you still smiled despite the emotions that were brewing inside you but you’ve been pretending to be okay for a good portion of your life so you knew how to keep the tears at bay. And you were NOT going to cry in front of your teacher, especially not the one you felt was bringing you down.

Aizawa looked at you pensively, as if he almost sensed that you weren’t being a hundred percent honest, so he asked you.

“Are you all right (L/N)?” Maybe he was a little harsh with his words, and he could tell that something was a little bit wrong, because he knew that your smile wasn’t real.

“No. No I’m good, I totally get it and I promise I will push myself hard, I know what I gotta do now. I just needed that little push.” You nodded, forcing yourself to sound more chipper as your fake smile grew. And you were thankful that you were good at acting since Aizawa seemed to believe your lies as he sighed a bit.

“Well good. I know you can do it. That’s why I’m pushing you.”

You almost missed the good intentions in his words, because you were too mad to even believe him. “Thank you again Mr. Aizawa. And if there’s anything else I can do to improve, just let me know and I will do it.”

As you smiled, you didn’t notice that your classmate Aoyama was there to eat lunch by himself and he saw right through you. He knew you weren’t being honest and that you most certainly weren’t happy after hearing everything yours and his teacher had told you.

“I will.” Aizawa said to you before you left the classroom in a bit of a huff…

SECONDS LATER…

“I HATE HIM!” You stormed off to scream in the bathroom, but you made sure that you were alone because you knew that ranting about this to the other girls wouldn’t allow you to vent. They would tell you a bunch of bullshit about how Aizawa was ‘trying to help’.

Why? Because they told you that the last time you tried venting about your troubles in class and didn’t help you at all. You loved those girls, but you wanted to slap them silly for dismissing how angry you were that day. So it was just better to vent to yourself, by yourself…

It’s not like they would understand anyway, they all seemed pretty pleased with themselves.

“He’s failing me on purpose I swear to God… that… that fucking jerk… why is it always me? Why am I always being the one singled out…? It’s not like I’m the dumbest and the weakest one in class…” You muttered and asked yourself when you thought about your other classmates who weren’t doing too good either, but they weren’t being called out for it.

Kaminari and Ashido were so much worse at taking tests than you were, and Mineta had a weak-ass quirk while your water quirk could at least pack a punch so why weren’t those three getting read like you were?

You have potential, but lately you haven’t been living up to it?

Did that mean you were losing your potential?

Wasting it and letting your vulnerabilities show?

Weren’t you a human first and a hero second?

Can’t be a hero if you’re not trying to catch up?

But weren’t you trying your damn hardest every goddamn day?

Who does Mr. Aizawa think he is? You wondered as you retreated from the mirror and locked yourself in one of the bathrooms stalls to sit down with your hands in your head, unable to stop a flood of tears from streaming down your face as you began wondering if you were overreacting.

At least, until the rest of your intrusive thoughts came to haunt you.

‘He’s right you know. You’re only mad because he’s right! And do you see Midoriya, Bakugou and Todoroki? They’re doing things you could never do! Congratulations, you’re going to fail and never become a hero cuz the only things you’ve succeeded in this class at all          is being weak, slow AND stupid. Your teacher sees it and your classmates can see it!’

The saboteur in your head taunted you as you cried quietly to yourself and trembled where you sat. God what were your parents going to think when you tell them you’re failing?

And on top of that, there was no way you were going back to class looking like this. You refused.

It’s not like anyone was going to worry or even notice that you weren’t in class because clearly, you were the weakest link in class. You felt that it was better if everyone just did their things without you. You were useless right now, and you were being completely honest, you didn’t want to see any of your classmates right now.

How could they relate to you? They were all doing so much better than you anyway, and they were all stronger, smarter and more talented than you were.

There was no way they could understand…

4 HOURS LATER…

You didn’t want to leave the bathroom, not when it was the only place of privacy where you could hide. Honestly, you were considering just staying in there for the rest of the day, and somehow sneak into your dorm-room and then stay in there for the rest of the night. No one would bother you, and most importantly, you wouldn’t bother anyone either with your pathetic problems.

However, realistically, you knew that couldn’t happen and you were getting kind of bored being all alone in this smelly room and with your phone on low. As much as you didn’t want to, it was time to get out for just a little bit and keep skipping class and fake an illness like mono if you have to; you weren’t going back to class, you absolutely refused.

Sighing, you slowly opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom with a heaviness in your chest that was begging you to go find someplace to sleep in an attempt to make this shitty day go away by closing your eyes. It was already close to the last class of the day, but you had no plans on showing up. Sure you’d get in trouble for it later, but at this point you barely cared anymore. All you wanted to do was stick to your plan and sneak back to your dorm-room so you could be miserable in peace.  

“(L/N)?”

Your favorite teacher’s voice made you freeze in your tracks and gasp audibly in shock. Just like that your body reacted on its own as you started shaking nervously but kept your back turned even though Yamada’s enthusiastic and loud voice was impossible for you to ignore.  

“There you are! Eraser’s been looking for you for a while! Said your classmates didn’t know where you were at! In fact, I think they’re all looking for you!”

Aizawa was worried about you? You honestly couldn’t imagine why, and you didn’t believe it. But just thinking about that was making you quiver more, fists clenching as your lips trembled and tears built up in your eyes, spilling down because there were too much for your eyes to hold back. There was nothing you could do, you wanted to just walk away or even run but how could you do that to Yamada? When he was the only teacher that you felt gave you the most praise when you clearly sucked at everything.

“Haha I can’t wait to see his face when he sees that I found you! And he was worried… but I knew you had to be around campus somewhere~. After all you’re not the type who would skip class, though to be honest you haven’t really been-”

Before he had a chance to finish his sentence you finally turned to face him with your lip quivering and tears running down your face as you sniffled. He quickly shut himself up as the smile on his face immediately fell and contorted into an uncharacteristically concerned frown. Looking directly at him, you saw what looked like worry in his eyes through his glasses. Yamada was usually such a loud man who was almost always smiling that seeing him so quiet and frowning was almost unnatural to you.  

“Hey… (Y/N)… what’s wrong?” He asked you in a rare, soft and very concerned tone. Something not many had the opportunity to hear from the loud-mouthed, carefree pro-hero.

As hard as you tried to keep it all in, everything just poured out of you. Word vomit at its best.

“I… I’m failing the hero course… and I-I’m… I’m trying SO hard… but it’s not enough… I-I haven’t been improving a-and… t-the more I think about it… the more I think t-that I… I should have tried harder… I should have studied harder… worked harder… but… it’s just so hard…” You shut your eyes as tears fell to the ground, unable to hold back the sob that crept out of your throat and made your shoulders shake up and down from the remaining cries that you apparently weren’t finished getting rid of yet. Apparently, you weren’t finished crying yet, and now the concern Mr. Yamada showed you was enough to trigger the overwhelming disappointment with yourself into making you cry in self-pity. 

You hated it.

Frankly, Yamada was alarmed by the sight of a student crying, but there was no way he was going to leave you alone. He knew what you were talking about too, he had noticed that you hadn’t been as energetic lately, nor did you seem happy at all. Sure, you paid attention in HIS class, but he knew that’s because you were confident in there. However, based on what Aizawa had been telling him about you and the rest of his students and from what he’s seen in your overall demeanor, he knew you had fallen into a slump and this was a result of bottling up all your stress. Now it was all pouring out and it practically broke his heart seeing you like this.

“M-M…M-Mr. Aizawa… h-he… he knows I’m weak a-and s-stupid… he’s not saying it outright, but I know he knows it… and he’s right… n-n-nno matter what I try, nnnnn-nothing works… I’m guh-getting worse… e-eh-ev-everyone’s getting better… e-e-everyone… b-but me…” You choked out tearfully in between sobs, barely able to even talk as you opened up what had been eating you up from the inside out.

“What? No! That’s not true! Trust me, Eraser and I talk all the time, and he does NOT think you’re weak… and if everyone’s getting better, then you are too! You’re a part of their class after all, they’re just improving in their own ways, and you are too!” Yamada has seen students break down before, but not quite like this where he was face-to-face with one, so he wasn’t entirely sure how to make you feel better. He wouldn’t give up though, not on his student.

“B-But… but it’s true… I-I… I’m not improving… I-I’ve… I’m regressing… i-in the tests, t-the combat… I-I keep losing… f-for me and m-my partners I’m p-paired with… a-and t-the gym… God the fucking gym… I-I can’t… I’m getting slower… I can’t run fast… e-even though I push myself as hard as I can I just c-can’t… l-look at me, I’m pathetic and weak, I’m weak, s-slow and stupid… I-I can’t ru-run fast Mr. Yamada, I-I c-can’t fight back, I can’t buh-b-be a hero, I-I’m the weakest link in my class, I-I’m ridiculous and sss-sllow…”

Dramatically and breaking down almost completely, you started running in place as if to emphasize your weakness in running as you continued to cry and unload the same intrusive thoughts that tormented you. You almost didn’t notice Yamada awkwardly walking closer towards you even if what he was seeing right now was hard to watch. An upset, anxious student overwhelmed by anxiety and self-doubt who was falling apart before his eyes.

“Stop it… S-Stop saying those things! Come on now… you can’t say that to yourself… you can’t treat yourself like that… come here…”

He shook his head at what you were saying about yourself, opening his arms out as you found yourself gladly letting yourself into your teacher’s hold as he gently put his arms around you in a soft hug while you clung to him and unabashedly cried your heart out. Yamada was an affectionate and hands-on kind of man in general, but as a teacher he didn’t want to cross his boundaries with a student. However, he cared about you very much, and you looked so upset that he couldn’t just let you cry and suffer all by yourself like this. As a teacher AND a hero, he felt like it was his job to comfort a distraught student who was clearly under a lot of stress. You might have been Aizawa’s student, but you were just as much one of his students as you were Aizawa’s!

“It… I-It’s s-ssso huh-hard… I-It’s just so… fucking… hard… I… I… I-I’m s-ss-sso tired of tuh-trying so hard a-and not d-doing anything right M-Mr. Yamada… n-nothing I-I do is… m-making me better… I-I… I-I’m g-getting w-w-worse…”

You’ve really done it this time. Crying like a child in front of your favorite teacher. And yet, hugging him felt so nice. So warm and comforting.

“I know… I know it’s hard… hey, hey it’s okay… I’ve got you… don’t hurt yourself sweetie, take deep breaths for me now, okay? Breathe…” He said in the softest voice you had ever heard him use as he held you while you clutched his costume, and he didn’t mind. Rocking you gently, he kept hushing you as you cried, your shoulders still trembling as he made sure to speak softly and gently to soothe your frazzled nerves as you followed his advice, trying to steady your rapid breathing by taking a few deep inhales and shaky exhales through gritted teeth. Inhaling sharply in an attempt to try and breathe again as you focused on the warmth coming from your teacher’s arms, slowly it was working.

“Good, that’s it… very good, shhhhh…” He praised you once he felt you slowing yourself down, knowing that you were in serious need of emotional support right now, and everything he was doing so far was working for you. You felt very safe at the moment, and not judged at all. Yamada was very patient with you too, he let you slow down so you could catch your breath and breathe properly, and he only spoke when you had eventually stopped shaking as you kept taking deep, steady breaths until you were calm enough and stopped hyperventilating.

“You’re trying very hard. Being a hero ain’t easy… but you’re not alone ya know? Ya see, while you might not think so, you’re trying just as hard, if not, harder than anyone else is! I’ve seen your effort, and your passion… Eraser’s a bit too much sometimes BUT! I’m sure he can tell you’re trying your best…”

“Mr. Aizawa doesn’t care about me, or how hard I try… he never has… all he cares about are the strong ones in our class… He only cares about Shinsou, Midoriya, Bakugou, Tsuyu, Yaoyorozu and Todoroki… all my friends… but not me… cuz I’m the weakest one… I’m sure he’s just ready to expel me anytime he wants…” Your tone was bitter, yet still fresh with sadness and your lack of self-esteem and distorted view was talking for you. Even though at times you felt as if Aizawa didn’t care about you, and it wouldn’t surprise you if he didn’t.

“Ha! He gives off that impression, doesn’t he?” He laughed a little bit, trying to lighten up your mood a little bit as you were calm enough to pay attention to him, blinking slightly as it pushed some stray tears down your face. “Eraser’s good at pretending he doesn’t care about his students… the thing is though he’s a total pusher, he pushes people, just like that teacher in Mean Girls. And he especially pushes his students BECAUSE he cares about them and he knows that they have a LOT of potential! And he definitely cares about you! I know he does! He definitely doesn’t think you’re weak!” That didn’t really do much to make you feel better since you already heard that from Aizawa. But surprisingly Yamada could tell that it wasn’t doing much to convince you.

“He just forgets that he can come off as a total hardass sometimes and that you kids are still kids who are gonna react differently compared to others. But don’t let that make you feel as if you’re not improving, because you are! You’re one of my best students! And I’ve seen the way you use your quirk. You’re really strong! You’re just in a little bit of a slump that’s all, nothing wrong with that though because every hero goes through slumps. I sure have! Every teacher in this school has! Including Eraser and even All-Might!” Yamada used his normal tone this time, enthusiastically saying oddly sweet and gentle words of encouragement to you.

At first you were surprised once you registered all of that, but you understood what he was saying. Basically, that none of the heroes were perfect, and that there wasn’t anything wrong with that. You yourself were far from perfect and prone to making a lot of mistakes and you struggled with things differently than your classmates might have, including anxiety, self-hatred and self-doubt.

Yet, Yamada still didn’t judge you, and he wasn’t judging you for being upset over this, if anything, his words just made you realize that while you weren’t perfect; there was nothing wrong with being imperfect because it happens to everyone, and that regardless of the slump you were definitely in, it didn’t make you weak.

“Look it’s perfectly normal to go through these slumps. We might be heroes, and we might be humans with quirks, but under the costumes and the hero titles we’re still just humans, the quirks are just bonuses, and they don’t change the fact that we’re humans at our core. Even if we chose to be heroes, we can’t forget or ignore our humanity AND our wellbeing, now can we? Our humanity is the basis of our heroism, don’t you think?” He asked you, raising a brow as you looked up at him almost adoringly. Sometimes you swore everyone forgot how smart Yamada was, but you didn’t, you thought he was wonderful.

In fact, you thought he was the most brilliant hero in the school, and you were absolutely marveled by him, especially right now. He told you everything you wanted and needed to hear. So, you nodded your head at his question, making him smile again.

“Don’t ever feel bad for being human. You know your limits and what your own personal issues are, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. And I know you get anxious and doubt yourself sometimes, but those don’t make you weak either. You are NOT weak and it’s OKAY to not feel okay sometimes, it does NOT make you weak. In fact, I believe you’re going to be one of the stronger heroes when you graduate and you’re going to be one of the most fantastic pro-heroes of your age! So, don’t think you’re weak or pathetic (L/N). Don’t you think that for one minute, okay?” He spoke gently again, and sounded slightly firm for a moment there, but it was still gentle and comforting as he grinned at you until a smile finally found its way onto your lips.

It was like a validation you never knew you needed, and just hearing him reassure you like this just made you tear up again as they freely fell down your face.

Sniffling, you whimpered and hugged him again in gratitude. Yamada was rather surprised at the sudden hug, but he quickly and gladly returned it with a big smile on his face, tearing up just a little bit himself; he was beyond happy that you seemed better now and that he was able to help you when you needed it.

“Okay… I won’t… I promise I won’t sir… thank you… but, you know… you actually gave me something else I didn’t know was what I really wanted…”

“Oh? What was that?”

“A hug…” You admitted somewhat shyly, since for a while you’d been desperately wanting a hug and couldn’t find it in you to ask some of your friends that because it felt so awkward. But thankfully, Yamada had given you what you had been wanting and needing. And admittedly, you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have a bit of a crush on this man, even though you knew that it wouldn’t be possible because of the age gap, yet a part of you dreamed nonetheless for when you became of age.

As for Yamada, he was surprised by this and yet he still smiled while he hugged you. It was times like these that made him remember that this is why he became a teacher aside from a being a hero.

“I was happy to help (Y/N). And if you ever need to talk to someone about this or if you’re ever having another bad day, intrusive thoughts or anything else, you can always come to me okay?” He asked you softly, and you nodded in his hug with a warm smile, loving every minute of this and prayed that this could last just for a little while longer…

Sadly you didn’t get that wish.

“What’s going on here?” Aizawa’s voice startled you and Yamada as you both yelped and jumped a little bit in your hug, and slowly you pulled away to rather awkwardly turn to face the other pro-hero, whose eyes slightly widened upon seeing you.

“(L/N)?” Your own eyes widened, but you quickly looked away with a nervous look once you felt Aizawa’s eyes on you, staring at the ground as anxiety started creeping up on you again.

“Where have you been? You didn’t show up to class since lunch.” He asked you in a rare tone that almost sounded gentle. And worried? That really surprised you, but you weren’t exactly comfortable enough to answer him yet.

“Eraser! Perfect timing! I found (L/N)! And she’s okay!” Yamada cheerfully said and looked over at you. “You are aren’t you (L/N)?” However, he had to ask you that just to make sure that you were okay. And because it was Yamada speaking to you, you looked away from the ground to meet his eyes and you found yourself able to smile again at him.

“Y-Yeah… it’s been a while… but for once I can say that I am legitimately okay. Thanks to you Mr. Yamada.” You said, a bit bashfully but sincerely, not taking your eyes off your English teacher as he grinned happily, much to Aizawa’s subtle annoyance. Of course, he was relieved that you were okay, but he clearly saw that you weren’t looking at him.

“It was no problem! Anytime okay?” Yamada said to you sweetly, he was very genuine with you. And yet, he couldn’t help but kind of rub this in his friend’s face a little bit. Aizawa wouldn’t admit it, but it was working only a little bit, especially since his own student was being more open with his friend than him.

“(L/N) Are you all right?” Your teacher asked you, seeing your reddened eyes and the remnants of tears on your cheeks; at that moment he realized that you had been crying. You couldn’t tell that he had become rather concerned now since he had never seen you cry before.

However, as mad as you were at your homeroom teacher, you did eventually look at him before you wiped the dried tears from your face. “I’m sorry Mr. Aizawa… I skipped class… on purpose… I know I shouldn’t have … but, I… I wasn’t feeling well, and I wasn’t in a good place enough to come back....”

For once, you did see the care and concern in Aizawa’s now soft-looking eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m your teacher. I know you’ve been struggling. I would have helped you if you told me that you needed it concerning your well-being.” He sounded like he was scolding you, and he was a little bit but now it was clear that he was more worried than upset with you.

You ALMOST wanted to cry again, but you didn’t now that you had gotten everything out with Yamada and felt better about yourself a little bit. Although you were feeling kind of guilty now for hiding everything else from Aizawa, it was time to get everything out with him too.

“That’s just it… I got in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about this, with how bad I’ve been doing… I didn’t want to seem like I desperately needed help because I thought I could deal with this on my own.” You averted your eyes again, biting your bottom lip a little bit.

“And I have to be honest, I was hurt… I was hurt by your words today before lunch, it felt more like I was being judged than being given constructive criticism, like I was being told I wasn’t good enough, and that I wasn’t trying when I was trying my absolute hardest… when I’ve had plenty of people tell me that before… the minute you said that, I… I hated you in that moment… I wanted to punch you in the face… You were the last person I wanted to talk to about what was bothering me…” Almost shamefully, you covered your eyes with your fingers, unable to see the look of very subtle shock on your teacher’s face, as Yamada tried his hardest to not snicker, and it wasn’t working.

“I’m really sorry sir but I was just so hurt and angry that I could not bear the thought of asking you for help because I felt like I was just going to get judged again… but hiding wasn’t the right way to do it either… so I’m sorry… I never should have worried you.” You grabbed your arm nervously, guilt etched over your features even though you were finally being honest with Aizawa, just as you had been with Yamada.

Although you didn’t see it, Aizawa had the grace to look guilty. This wasn’t the first time he’s hurt one of his student’s feelings, and yet it never ceased to make him feel awful about it. Especially if it was enough to make one just avoid class altogether and cry by themselves. Worst of all, you refused to ask for his help because he hurt your feelings that badly.

“I appreciate your honesty (L/N). But you know that it’s never my intention to judge my students right? My purpose is to help you and your classmates improve and learn. I suppose I was too hard on you, and for that I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt your feelings.” He looked and sounded guilty, and for once you actually smiled at your homeroom teacher. Now you could register his words after clearing your head a little bit.

“I know… I’m sorry I took it so personally.” You felt bad though, even if you knew that your feelings were valid.

“Don’t be. I wasn’t really gentle with what I told you. I should have approached you better.” Aizawa owned up to not really being that nice in what he said to you, and you nodded in agreement, glad that he was taking responsibility for having hurt your feelings.

“Yeah your approach kinda sucked.” Despite that you gave a small chuckle and it surprised to see your own teacher give a low chuckle. Albeit, it was mostly because he was glad to see that you looked happier than you had been in months. He might not have been gentle about your struggles, but he knew you were struggling and it concerned him; he just didn’t know how to approach you about it the right way.

“You know that you’re going to still have to make up for all the classes you missed though, right?” But Aizawa still had to be your teacher, and this time, you weren’t sad to hear that from him as you nervously smiled.

“Of course… I saw that coming… I feel a little bit better to do that.” You said softly, even though you might not have been one hundred percent yet, you felt so much better after confiding in Mr. Yamada. And actually pretty inspired after he helped you and talked to you about taking care of your own mental health. “In fact, I’ve made a major decision after today.”

That however, surprised both Aizawa and Yamada, but they let you talk anyway to hear what you had to say.

“I’ve decided that I definitely want to work harder with my studies. The kind of hero I’ll be… will be one who looks out for people. Pick them up when they’re down. After all… it’s super important. Mental health is overlooked. I want to be that kind of hero for people who struggle like me.” You suddenly came to that conclusion after your talk with Yamada. It didn’t make all your issues go away, but his care for you during your breakdown gave you enough strength to get back up again and inspired you to think more about that.

“I’m going to fix all my mistakes, work on my super-move and rely less on my classmates. And I won’t let you down next time Mr. Aizawa. Because whoever you pair me up against, I’m going to kick their ass.” A smirk made its way to your lips, looking more confident and happier than earlier. Which pleased your teacher as he gave you a small smile, obviously happy himself that you finally looked more certain about yourself than you had been in months.

“I know you will.” Aizawa felt confident in you now after seeing the energy return to your eyes as you actually smiled wide at your teacher.

“I’ll see you both tomorrow. Mr. Aizawa. Mr. Yamada. And thank you again… thank you Mr. Yamada. I won’t forget this ever.” You bowed to them both, and Yamada couldn’t help but look very proud of himself when you gave him a second thank you, much to Aizawa’s annoyance.

“Of course (L/N)! I was happy to help!” Yamada’s enthusiastic tone bordered on a brag when he saw how peeved his friend looked, especially when their student smiled happily and politely left the two of them with a soft ‘good-bye’ after being dismissed.

“She’s got more spirit now.” Aizawa saw that in you again as he watched you walk away. “I knew she would find it again.” He always saw your potential; you just needed a little bit of a push. It worked too because now you were more than motivated now. He just wished he could have been the one to help you when that put you in a slump instead. And he wished that he didn’t make you cry…

“And I helped!” Yamada had to say that though, just to rub some salt in the wound. And Aizawa hated that it was irritating him this much. “But you’re right… she looks very determined now.” He snickered a bit.

“What’s so funny?” Aizawa asked him very curtly as he tried to not look as annoyed as he was feeling.

“With that fire in her… I bet whoever she fights tomorrow… she’s probably going to pretend that they’re you and punch them in the face.” Yamada smirked somewhat deviously at him, but then he shrieked when the other pro-hero glared at him with those angry, red eyes of his. Because deep down, he hoped that wasn’t true.

And unfortunately, it was.

Because the next day you were paired up against Kirishima. You were so full of a new-found energy and motivation that you were ready for this, and the first thing you did was punch him in the face before fighting, and you quickly won the match once you used your water quirk to its max level now that you had the fire back in you.

“Anybody else want some?!”

You shouted after successfully pinning Kirishima down and you were announced victorious. Quite a few of your classmates were startled, and some (especially Mineta) were terrified, even Bakugou looked mildly shocked by the spark you had shown them all. But you almost didn’t notice their reactions, but you were feeling amazing now; like you could do anything.

Although you DID quickly apologize to poor Kirishima afterwards, a lot in fact and you immediately felt guilty for beating him. But the sweet redhead just smiled and shrugged it off and happily congratulated you on your win. Even he could tell that you got a fire back in your stomach and he was happy for you.

“That felt good.” You smiled widely as you approached your closest friends Midoriya, Uraraka, Iida and Todoroki.

“Wow! (Y/N) I knew your quirk was strong but you… you really showed off even more power today…” Midoriya looked positively awed, his green eyes wide and practically sparkling in marvel.

“A most excellent performance (Y/N)! I think it was your best one yet! I’m proud of you!” Iida somewhat dramatically praised you, but he was clearly happy when he saw that you had a spark back in you.

“Oui. The sparkle in your eyes is back~.” You were hella surprised when Aoyama had remarked on your energy, but you still appreciated it. Even if you had no idea that he was aware of your struggles as you smiled at the blonde boy.

“Yeah! Are you kidding? You were more than good! You really showed everyone that you’re not to be messed with!” Uraraka then cheerfully praised you with a big grin, almost like she was amazed by you as you couldn’t help but hug the girl. “Aww! Guys thank you so much!!”

“No. Not good. Brilliant.” Todoroki gave you one of his rare smiles that he had reserved for you, which made you giggle and blush at all the compliments and praise your friends were giving you as you thanked each and every one of them personally. And your smile grew when you fondly thought about Mr. Yamada. You owed this to him after the way he helped you. And you would never forget it.

However, you couldn’t help but notice that after your battle with Kirishima that Mr. Aizawa was awfully silent and a little sulky afterward…

[fangirlbase]

Love Bubble

Pairing: Raven x Beast Boy

It was a cold, rainy night in Jump City, full of lightning and thunder. Raven enjoyed the hot water that fell under her body, taking a long shower. She remembered his friends from the time of the Teen Titans. Yes, because it had been five years since the big fight with Trigon, and everyone had gone on with they life now.

Robin became the Night Wing, joining the Justice League. Cyborg also joined them, with the difference that he had married the Bee. They lived happily in Gotham, occasionally making visits to the girl. Robin had been single since Stellar had returned to her home planet. In the end, she had to decide to marry Robin and become part of the League or return to her planet and help them in the face of the crisis. As much as she loved the boy, she was still a princess, and she had to pay for her post. Robin had cried for days, but nothing could be done. Already Beast ...

As she reflected on each man's fate, he did not realize who had entered the bathroom, only emerging from his trance as she felt strong arms clasping her behind. With one of her rare smiles, Raven leaned her body over the companion, listening to a low sigh coming from the man. With the hot water still falling on them, the girl turned away, taking away the distance from those green lips.

Beast Boy and Raven were in a kind of relationship. They had been together for about four and a half years. They were not married, but neither did anyone in the group know of their courtship. They knew how to disguise very well. Not that they did not take it for shame, quite the contrary: they thought the hidden had more emotion. It was incredible to know that the two of them could be in the thick of it when Cyborg or Robin suddenly arrived for a surprise visit. It was exciting.

They kissed passionately, clinging to each other more and more. Silly hands walked between them, squeaks, hickeys and bites were spread openly. As much as they were bathing together, they had maintained their respect until then. The weather was getting really hot, with warmer kisses, groans at the foot of the ears, squeezes in the ass. All was well, Ravenna kissed the neck of her boyfriend, when Beast decides to open his mouth:

“Rae ... I may even be green, but I guarantee that I'm good for you.”

“GARFIELD! Incredible how you can put an end to the weather with your humdrum jokes.”

The man just laughed. It was what he liked to do most: annoying his girlfriend with jokes. The bath ended quickly, since he had not gotten what he wanted. The girl was a little annoyed that her boyfriend's idiot ruined everything. She just dressed quickly and went into the living room with the intention of being alone, reading something. His peace was not long since a green kitten leaps into her lap quickly. Beast knew that his girlfriend did not resist when he became this animal, so he used it as a way to appease the quarrels.

Well, Raven tried to ignore that ball of fluffy hairs and even got it for a while. Long enough for Garfield to feel she was getting better. Without a second thought, he began to rub himself in it, purring with slight strokes. The girl could not stand it and lay down on the couch, holding the cat in the air, making light strokes. It was her time to put him again lying on his body that Beast returned to normal, speaking a slight:

“Hi.”

They could not get angry for long, they loved each other. And to prove that shortly after they were already kissing on the sofa, in an attempt to resume what had been interrupted in the shower. The man was already shirtless, his hands inside the wide shirt his girlfriend wore. At a glance, Raven was sitting on her lap. Attacking his neck.

“Rae, I ...”

He could not finish speaking. A snap was heard and his girlfriend flew away. Quickly, it turned into a parakeet, staying in a corner. Trying to pack up as much as she could, the girl waited for the hologram that formed in the middle of her living room. This was the custom: if Cyborg could not be there in person, he would visit her as a hologram.

"I can not stay long, Raven. I called only to see if everything was all right. He said in the paper that there in Jump City is chaos with the rain.”

"Not so much, from the top almost can not even see.” That said, a loud thunder came in, contradicting what the girl had just said.

Beast was not afraid of the rain, but as a bird, his hearing became more sensitive, causing him to scare and fly around the room.

"Fixed a pet, how cute. By the way, have you seen the Beast from a while back?

“The last time I saw him, they should be in the market for a couple of weeks. He looked great. He said he even had a fiance.”

“Engaged? Oh, Raven. I'm so sorry it's not with you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Did not you know? Beast Boy was crazy about you from the first time he saw you.”

The girl could not express herself, she was only shocked.

"Rain's making Rae worse, I'd better go." Until any day.

“Up until.”

When Beast returned to normal, ready to finish what he had started, his girlfriend was too busy meditating. After this cold shower, he decided to go to bed. A few hours passed before the girl appeared in the room, shifting in front of her until she went to bed with him.

"Raven, did you happen to tell Cyborg that I'm getting married?"

“Said.”

“How did you know? As far as I know, your powers are not mind-reading.”

"Not really, but last week when I slept in your house, I literally stumbled into the rings. I just accelerated the response to the request, Gar.”

“Still good. I was so nervous that I would probably say something stupid and you would drive me out of your life.”

"Only if you do not shut up and kiss me."

"With pleasure, Rae.”

And with that, they were officially engaged. Beast finally had what he had wanted so much since the afternoon, going to sleep completely happy. Only now would he tell his friends about his marriage.

[tipsycad147]

The wisdom of sloth: Embracing the lesser-known spirit animals

by Michelle Gruben

“Are you going to want the wolf refill package?” she asks me over the phone. I’m buying an assortment of pewter animal charms for my shop. “It’s by far our best-seller.” I can believe it. Wolves are superstars.

I imagine the disappointment of my customers as they rifle through a bin for their cherished wolf totems, only to find a bunch of swans and ladybugs. I get two wolf refill packages. The skunk and manatee charms, I learn, have been discontinued—probably melted down and recast into more wolves. I decide right then and there to keep my mouth shut if anyone ever tells me their spirit animal is the Skunk.

But the conversation got me thinking about Pagans and our spirit animals—the animals we choose, or that choose us. Our special animal that guides us and inspires us, who reflects our character, whose appearance we view as a friendly omen.

Wolf. Bear. Spider. Owl. And of course, Raven. There are more Pagans named “Raven,” it seems, than Irish Catholics named Mary. And yet, actual ravens are quite rare. Here in North Texas, we mostly get big-ass crows. The only place I’m certain I’ve seen ravens was on the lido deck of a cruise ship anchored in Juneau, as they grabbed entire hot dogs off the lunch trays of astonished passengers. Truly a noble and magickal bird. I’ll have to talk to my supplier about getting a raven refill package.

Clearly, something strange is going on here. In nature, top-level predators exist in very limited numbers. Their lives are sustained by a horde of less fabled (but quite edible) herbivores and scavengers. Yet you rarely meet a person whose acknowledged spirit animal is Musk Deer, Vole, or Shrimp. There are, I believe, two possible explanations: 1) The spirit animal ecosystem works differently from the earthly ecosystem, or 2) Some of you people are cheating on your guided meditations.

So what if your real spirit animal is lower on the totem pole, so to speak? I completely sympathize. I can’t blame you for wanting to shrink from the fact that your kindred creature is underwhelming. The price of honesty here is stiff. Your animal never plays a starring role in Greek myths or Loki stories. You risk condescension—and even predation—from all your Wolf- and Raven-kin friends. And good luck shopping for animal-themed accessories and altar swag. You’re forever doomed to wander New Age bookstores and museum gift shops feeling like the kid whose name is Kandace with a “K.”

And yet, all of Gaia’s creatures have something to teach us. Not every bird is an eagle, as they say. (And why would they want to be? What’s so great about eagles? What are you saying about the other birds, huh?) While I can’t get to all of the neglected spirit animals, here are five earthly denizens who are chafing for their moment in the spotlight.

Real quick: I’ve heard the opinion that any discussion of spirit animals constitutes cultural appropriation and is offensive to Native Americans. I’d just like to point out that animals do, in fact, reside on all seven continents. And that Pagans of all persuasions take inspiration from nature, including our closest kin, the kingdom Animalia. If you think that tribal affiliation is required in order to have a sacred bond with a favorite creature, then your spirit animal is a stick in the mud. You’re welcome.

Still reading? Cool! Let’s begin with our poor discontinued friend, the Manatee:

Manatee

Is it possible to get fat eating only lettuce? For Manatee, anything is possible! If your spirit animal is Manatee, you are a master of joy, charm and magickal glamour. Tilt your head just right, and people might even believe you’re a mermaid. These cows of the sea are always smiling as if they carry a precious secret. And they do—Manatees are one of the only creatures to benefit from climate change, as melting ice caps enlarge their coastal habitats. People may laugh at you now, Manatee, but they won’t be laughing when you take over Miami.

Parakeet

Birds of prey scour the skies, eking out a living from prairie and tundra. Hummingbirds hover patiently, sipping the smallest drops from countless flowers. But certain cleverer birds have trained humans to get their meals for them. The Parakeet spirit teaches us that hard work and individuality are totally overrated. People who are drawn to Parakeet energy know when to sit still, look pretty, and let the birdseed roll on in. Call on Parakeet for domestic happiness and the great blessing of caring less.

Sloth

Sloth wisdom is all about doing your own thing in your own time. What’s the hurry? The worst that could happen is someone naming a deadly sin after you. People with Sloth energy tend to be above it all—and better yet, behind it all. Fun fact: Sloth’s sluggish metabolism means it only evacuates once every ten days. This makes it arguably the least crappy spirit animal.

Squirrel

These industrious rodents spend much of their time burying nuts for the winter and digging them up again. Once upon a time, people marveled at Squirrel’s memory for retrieving its hoard. Now we know that the critters don’t actually remember where they buried anything—they’re just finding food buried by other Squirrels. The Squirrel spirit teaches us forethought and perseverance. But it also reminds us that our best-laid plans are at the mercy of other forgetful vagrants. Like many foragers, Squirrel is specially attuned to the movement of the seasons (but less attuned, sadly, to the movement of cars).

Clownfish

The stinging arms of the sea anemone are no problem for the Clownfish, who gleefully darts where other fish fear to go. As a Clownfish-spirited person, you have a super-heroic tolerance for unpleasant situations. Your thick skin means you can go anywhere and do anything. The downside for Clownfish? Nobody likes your friends. You’re also kind of silly-looking, and you have the word “clown” in your name. Meditating on Clownfish will help you to appreciate the marvelous interconnectedness of all beings (and feel less bad that your spirit animal isn’t the Salmon).

https://www.groveandgrotto.com/blogs/articles/the-wisdom-of-sloth-embracing-the-lesser-known-spirit-animals-1

[youngwidowofbrooklyn]

Heads. In front of people.

This week I did something I’d never done before. I stood on a stage and read something that I wrote in front of a crowd. The assignment was to create a piece seven minutes in length that somehow related to the concept of “Heads.” I went through several drafts, beginning with the notion of “Heads versus Tails” and ending up somewhere very different. Below is the first draft I wrote.

--------------

Heads.

Heads or tails. Right and wrong. Up and down. Here or there. Kill, fuck, or marry. Death is not an option.

Life is all about choices.

Two roads diverge, and which do you choose? Robert Frost, the pretentious fuck, chose the road less traveled and la-di-da for him.

Meryl Streep, dear Sophie, said to the Nazis “Take my girl!” and regretted her choice for the rest of her life. {Spoiler alert: Did she? I actually never saw “Sophie’s Choice” but I can never miss an opportunity to reference it}

It’s a matter of life and death, make a choice, the beginning or the end. The choice our protagonist makes at the beginning of the novel that sends her on an unexpected journey, and the courageous choice our hero makes at the end of the film to stay and fight and save the poor villagers when the odds are stacked against them.

We love to talk about beginnings and ends. Heads and tails. There’s romance in the newness of a fresh perspective, and there’s cathartic closure that comes in the resolution.

But that’s all bullshit. I call “heads” and we wait, collectively as the coin flips in the air, and some of you - you fuckers - are silently whispering to yourself, “Be tails, be tails, be tails.” And a moment later the reveal comes, and it’s all over. I’m either a winner or a loser. Well, the joke’s on you because I don’t choose. I’m fucking both.

I used to be a person who believed in right and wrong. I used to believe in good guys and bad guys. I used to have been a person who hadn’t experienced much living yet.

2014 was the year after my son was born. It was two years after I’d finally made a the decision to try to have a child before time ran out. In the what seemed like the last moment, we chose to  make another person, my husband and I. And as soon as we got pregnant, we had revealed our secret doubts about this choice we’d made. Could we do it? Could we actually put ourselves second and raise a human being up to be good?

My husband was more nervous than I was, for reasons he’d have to explain, I won’t try to armchair analyze his neuroses. Whenever I had moments of doubt, I was always fortified by the knowledge that my kid would get to have my husband as a dad. My husband: impossibly cool, practical, fastidious, kind and quiet.

My husband: in many ways the yin to my yan. He from a freakishly functional and loving family of educated Southern Democrats. The kind of people who call each other to….talk to each other, because….they love each other? And…are genuinely curious about how each other are feeling?

Me: I’m a fucking Tasmanian devil of skinned knees and dirty socks thrown on the coffee table. Me, the spontaneous one, the one who laughs too loud at shows and gets stink eye from other audience members, who can’t remember to pay bills on time and will jaywalk across streets without looking EITHER WAY, and who has broken a two twice this year, just walking around and not walking where I’m going.

My son’s name - no shit, this is true - my husband thought of his name, and we agreed on it primarily because, as he said, “It sounds really good when you angrily yell it.” And it does. That’s my husband. The practical one, the one much better at planning for the future than me.

So, anyway. 2014. The summer before our son turned 1. The summer that my husband first noticed the blue-black bruises of unexplained origin on his leg, that left his doctors scratching their heads.

After weeks of tests, they admitted to the hospital - about three weeks before our baby turned 1. They needed time to make a diagnosis to figure out what was wrong and how to correct it and he had to stay in Mt Sinai Hospital in Manhattan while they figured it out.

I’m not here to talk to you about my husband’s illness, though. I’m here to tell you about the year that I spent - every day - making an impossible choice. You see, here’s the thing, the only thing they knew for a very long time was that my husband’s immune system had been blown to smithereens. And when you have no immune system the last person you should have contact with is a tiny drooling person who doesn’t obey simple commands and who carries a bag full of human waste with them at all times.

One year. Every day, I had a choice to stay with my amazing baby boy and watch him take his first steps, say his first words and inch closer and closer to the funny, smart and silly dude that he turned into. Or, to take two subway trains and one bus from our Brooklyn apartment to the upper east side of Manhattan to put on a hospital gown, a mask and latex gloves to play countless hands of gin rummy with my quarantined husband.

Heads or tails. Every day.  Life or death? Every day I chose, and every day I regretted my choice. Sitting on the subway hurtling underground toward one half of my heart and away from the other.

Head or tails. How do you choose when those are the stakes? When both options will break your heart?

That year concluded almost exactly a year later, two weeks before my son’s birthday. My year of impossible choices ended like this:

Me and a stable of doctors in a shabby waiting room on the 11th floor. Something something this infection has made it’s way to his head. Blah blah irreparable brain damage.  There are two options. Which do you choose, m’am, as power of attorney?

Well, here’s the wisdom I have to impart to you after a year of playing heads or tails with those stakes. Choose whatever. There’s no right or wrong. Choose the road most traveled, for all it fucking matters. Just keep your fucking head out of your phone, walk to the right side and let the fast walkers pass you on the left side when you do, for Christ’s sake.

Your choices in life take only moments. The beginning of the book is one sentence. The end of the film is one scene.

It’s all the shit you do in between those choices that really matter.

Choose to look at the people around you. Choose to call your brother just to ask him how he’s doing even though he never even called you to offer his condolences. Choose to forgive yourself for all the times you chose wrong. Choose heads. Or tails. Or both. Or neither. And in between all those choices, choose kindness, always.

------------

This was my first pass on the topic, and I sat on it for about a week, before attempting to sculpt it into something that felt more honest and less manipulative.

This was the version that came next.

------------------

I did not choose heads. I chose tails. Didn’t matter, though because I was actually assigned heads in this round of “Head vs. Tails,” which - ironically - seems to imply that a person has freedom to choose.

I did not choose to be here, either. Here in my life, this is not what I chose for myself. I chose an alternate version of my life. I chose the thing that so many of my peers and people in my age group choose: to get married, to have a child, to settle down, and by virtue of those choices avoiding the hellscape of online dating and the possibility of growing old alone, with only my collection of cats and parakeets to keep me company.

That’s what I chose for myself. But the universe chose something else.

So. Heads or tails? You want the good news first or the bad? You’re going to hear both, so it’s not really a choice. But isn’t it nice to feel like your preferences matter in this great big fucking universe that - lets face it - hardly even notices whether you exist or not?

So, tails it is. Bad news first, which is lucky because it allows me to end on an uplifting note. And everyone loves a happy ending, right?

The bad news is that your choices don’t matter. But that doesn’t mean not choosing is an option. You must. You must keep going, you must keep choosing. Even if you choose wrong over and over again. In fact, the ultimate paradox is that even in not choosing you still have made a choice. I’m aware that I am paraphrasing a lyric from a Rush song, and even though I think they are a shitty band, I cannot argue with their logic.

If you know me, then you are thinking to yourself right now, “Oh shit, Jen’s gonna stand on stage and talk about when her husband died and left her widowed and alone to parent their toddler.”

I’m not here to talk to you about my husband’s illness, though. I’m here to tell you about the year that I spent - every day - making an impossible choice. You see, here’s the thing, the only thing they knew for a very long time was that my husband’s immune system had been blown to smithereens. And when you have no immune system the last person you should have contact with is a tiny drooling person who doesn’t obey simple commands and who carries a bag full of human waste with them at all times.

One year. Every day, I had a choice to stay with my amazing baby boy and watch him take his first steps, say his first words and inch closer and closer to the funny, smart and silly dude that he turned into. Or, to take two subway trains and one bus from our Brooklyn apartment to the upper east side of Manhattan to put on a hospital gown, a mask and latex gloves to play countless hands of gin rummy with my quarantined husband.

Heads or tails. Every day. Life or death? Every day I chose, and every day I regretted my choice. Sitting on the subway hurtling underground toward one half of my heart and away from the other.

He didn’t choose that fate. Neither did I. We collectively called “Tails!” as the coin spun in the air, “Tails! We choose to beat this and grow old together and one day tell our grown son, TOGETHER - about the most surreal and scary adventure that our little family went on and how we beat it - we beat the big, scary monster that was a terrifying and rare disease, and an army of apathetic and jaded New York hospital staff members! That’s our choice! And when the coin finally landed, the universe hollered back, “It’s heads, fuckers.”

That was two and a half years ago. I struggle regularly with how to exist in a world where my own personal “worst case scenario” has already played out. I look at older couples walking together and know that it won’t be us. I see children on an outing with their fathers and - okay, first I think how fucking lucky that mother is that she has a fucking moment to herself, is she taking luxurious bath now? Or sleeping? Oh jesus christ I miss sleeping like I can’t even tell you

- and after that passes I think to myself, “What did my kid do to deserve this fate? He didn’t get a single, fucking daddy and son outing and it’s not fucking fair to do that kind of shit to a child!”

In my darkest hours I feel like a walking example of the life that no one wants to live. Sometimes the weight of my grief collapses square into my chest and turns me into the world’s saddest navel gazer. I stand here before you, the central character of the saddest story of all time: The Tragic Tale of The Young Lover Who Had and Then Lost Everything. The title is long, I know, but apt.

But as I promised, there is good news, too. And the good news is that your choices do not matter.

The universe is so vast and we are so tiny and very little of what we say or do matters all that much.

I know expect me to have a very bleak world view at this point. But I don’t. I promise you. I have found a freedom in knowing that the universe will not change irreparably with the choices that I make.

I am one tiny part of the universe. My grief is nothing compared to some people in other corners of this planet. I have lost one half of my heart. Yes. But I have also known love in a true and profound way and I am a better person for it.

I am a heartbroken person. Yes. But every day, I choose to be happy. I choose to have things to look forward to. I choose to laugh with my child.

The universe isn’t watching to make sure I’ll be okay. The universe will be just fine if I collapse and disappear. I could drink myself to sleep every night and stumble through my waking life. I could choose to let relatives raise my child. I feel like many people would understand if I did.

But I do not choose that path. I choose to get up. Again. And again. The universe expects me to choose “Heads.”

Fuck you, Universe. I choose “Tails.”

-----------------

And I liked that draft just fine. But, as the date of the performance approached, I began to like it less and less. So with less than a day left, I endeavored to come at the topic from a very different approach. This is where I landed, and this is what I stood onstage and said. It feels like exactly what I wanted to say, in a way that I wanted to say it, to talk about my pain, my fumblings at being a good person, without asking for pity and by making fun of my sadness - mostly because that’s the only way I can bear it myself. Here it is, the final version, for all of my friends who could not be there to hear me say it out loud.

----------------

According to my tax returns, I am the head of my household, but this is surely an error. I am, in no way qualified to head up an entire household, let alone one containing myself, a small child and four small domesticated animals besides.

I plan to appeal this decision to the highest authorities, if need be. The following is a list of reasons why I should be removed from this position post haste.

1. I have totaled two cars and one bicycle, so far.

2. Assuming I was the most qualified person for the job, I have pierced my own ears, and my nose, several times, using safety pins, sewing needles and other pointy and unsanitized instruments.

3. I believe that food you do not pay for has zero calories.

4. I am suspicious of blonde haired people.

5. I have broken my arm three times over the course of my life, broken a toe twice in the past year, required stitches to close a gash in my wrist after being locked out of my apartment and deciding the prudent way to regain entry was to punch through the glass panel in the front door, and I once got high and laughed so hard for so long at my then-boyfriend saying the word “Snarf,” that I actually bruised my lung and had to be treated at an emergency room.

6. I consistently walk across intersections without looking in EITHER direction.

7. I am 42 years old, and I have not yet mastered the art of not peeing in my pants during awkward social interactions.

8. I once got high on Rush’s tour bus.

9. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I strongly believe that it is possible that I could be killed by a great white shark that someone put in a swimming pool as a prank.

For these reasons I feel I should be exempt from consideration for head of anything. I have throughout my life exhibited a pattern of irrational behavior and poorly conceived ideologies. I cannot - no matter how many reminders I put in my phone - remember to pay my bills on time. No matter how much I want to be an organized and orderly person, my home is still a mess of dirty socks on the coffee table and dishes are not loaded into the washer until I’ve resorted to eating cereal out of a vase with chopsticks.

If - for some inexplicable reason - the aforementioned anecdotal evidence I’ve presented is insignificant to persuade you of my poor qualifications for this title, please allow me to submit one final fact about myself. It concerns the manner in which I became head of my household.

Two years, six months and nine days ago. I was sat in a shabby waiting room on the 11th floor of Mount Sinai Hospital. Across from me sat three doctors, a nondescript white man, a south asian man, who did most of the talking, and a white woman with blonde hair (pause) who looked ready to burst into tears at any moment. They called me “Mrs. Bateman” - which was confusing because that’s my mother in law, not me.

“As you know, Mrs. Bateman, your husband began showing signs of confusion two days ago, and we’ve been working to diagnose the precise cause of it. Something-something an infection, Ma’am. This infection has made it’s way into his head. We’ve done some tests, and so on and so forth, and given the size of his pupils at this point, blah blah irreparable brain damage. So, Mrs. Bateman, we have to ask you - what would you like us to do? Did your husband ever discuss....etc., etc.?”

They asked ME these questions. As if I could be trusted with something of this magnitude. I don’t read operating instructions. I don’t save receipts. I don’t balance my checkbook.

Suddenly, it was up to me to say “I don’t think he would want this.” My husband who - incidentally - as the son of two educators, LOVED doing homework, was maddeningly meticulous and always paid our bills on time, had a 401K and great health insurance, HE was the head of the household. He was the brains of our operation. I was the often misguided but usually well-meaning heart of it. Not only am I not equipped to replace him, but I cannot bear that my first order of business in doing so was to give my permission for him to die.

So you see, surely there has been some sort of clerical error. It should have been me. I should have been eaten by a shark in a pool.

Because if that would’ve happened, sad as he would’ve been, my husband would’ve known what to do after. He was always much better at planning for the future than I was.

I can tell you for sure that HE wouldn’t have put MY ashes in a ziplock baggie that he accidentally let burst inside his purse.

Of course, it is possible that the authorities will reject my plea to step down from this post I did not campaign for. I do have a contingency plan, in that event. 

I look at my son. Four and a half years old now, he is. Blonde haired. And in his face, I see his father, as everyone who knew his father does. I see his calm reason and his reassurance in my panicked moments and in my grief that everything is going to be okay. Even if it’s hard. Even if it seems like it will never be okay again. And I remind myself that even though it does not come natural to me, it does not FEEL like it is me, I do know how to be sensible, practical, to not make rash or reckless decisions. I know how because these are the ways in which my husband balanced me. And if I close my eyes, I can still see him inside my head, telling me what he would do if he were here.

And so, if I must claim the title of head of household, head of my family, chief decision maker, I know that I am not doing it alone. He’s still here and I accept the title in his honor.

[crownandwriter]

Illegal Intervention

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human

Pairing: Rupert Travis/Reader

Rating: G

Warnings: anxiety? kissing? gender-neutral reader

So this was originally a bit I was writing for a Rupert request, but it’s turning out to not really fit the bill. But I love it too much to let it go to waste! Mmmmmmmmight mayyyyyyybe make it into a multi-part series if I get any more ideas for it.

If Androids could get winded, Rupert would have already been a dead man. It seemed like forever he had been on the move, running as far away as he could from his would-be home, from that bloodhound of a deviant-hunting Android. With all the effort and escape planning, it seemed, at least for the moment, he was in the clear, but he needed to get somewhere safe. He needed to get to Jericho.

This bus ride to Ferndale was his first chance to sit down since that morning, but if he could take back the decision to commute now, he absolutely would.

There’s a Detroit Police officer in the far corner to his right, cutting side-eye glances at him too frequently for it to be coincidence. And then there’s you, seated next to him at the left. You seem innocent enough, but he can see the edge of a Cyberlife nametag peeking out from the lapel of your coat. Rupert is trapped for the second time that day, wedged between the two types of people most likely to recognize him even without his LED. No one makes a move, but the bus feels too quiet, too calm, and he can’t be sure if anyone else feels this suffocating blanket of impending doom.

He tries desperately to look nonchalant, but when he sees the officer lean into his radio and mutter something he can’t stop the fearful flinch and closing of his eyes, or the long sigh he lets out as he thinks a prayer to rA9. Worst of all, the rising tension in his shoulders seems to catch your attention.

You look up from your phone at him, and even through his periphery he knows there’s recognition in your stare. Your eyes flicker over his shoulders, to the officer, and Rupert is certain it’s all over. All these months of hiding, of ceaseless effort to blend in, to just get to live, first ruined by a neighbor who sees too much and now by this stranger who knows too much—but instead of calling out or drawing attention, your hand slips carefully into his. You wedge your fingers under his palm, where he had been squeezing his own knee almost to the point of numbness, and entwine your fingers.

“Just shift a little. Turn towards me.” Your voice is barely a whisper, but he hears it loud and clear, his fear echoing your words like you had yelled them over a canyon.

He does what you say, stiffly, mechanically, putting his weight on his hip only because he’s afraid of what you’ll do otherwise.

Your closer arm comes up around his shoulders and your fingers brush delicately over the hairs at the nape of his neck. Under less dire circumstances, Rupert might have enjoyed the feeling.

“There you go,” you coo, looking at him like an old flame. “Just look at my phone with me. Make small talk, they’ll never know.”

At the short distance you can feel the shuttered breath of realization he lets out. He’s still tense, still uncomfortable, but when he blinks away the tears that had formed on his eyelashes and slowly nods you’re relieved he at least seems to know you’re not trying to bring him harm. He knows you know what he is, and that you’ve made a decision not to turn him in right now. What comes after is different, but one step at a time.

He brings his other hand over slowly, shakily, cups it around your phone. When you don’t protest, he opens your web browser and brings up a video of…birds? Silly little bird videos, parrots dancing and cursing, parakeets brushing themselves with Q-tips, pigeons stealing food from naive passersby. You giggle in earnest at some of them, though you find the taste a little odd for an Android, and keep rubbing at his neck and back to keep up the illusion of a happy young couple—love birds, if you will. Some of the tension begins to ease out of him but his grip leaves no doubt in your mind that he’s still hyper-aware of the situation.

The bus pulls to a stop just outside of Ferndale and Rupert looks around like he wants to get up and leave. Before he can do anything one way or the other, though, you catch sight of the officer moving resolutely towards the two of you. Rupert sees the flash of panic across your face and his legs twitch for action—you snag the front of his shirt and tug him closer.

“Sorry—my name is Y/N” you say hushed but quick. “Kiss me.”

You can’t tell if he’s mortified or nervous when he blurts out “What?” Maybe both.

You barely get out another apology before you crush him against you, lips together, cupping the back of his head in what you hope seems like a spontaneous, romantic gesture. Rupert’s nose scrunches, eyes screwed tight. But he reciprocates after a beat, leaning over you, pushing you into the seat so his back is entirely to the officer. You tilt your head so you can peek over Rupert’s ear and see the officer faltering. The man looks uncomfortable, especially when you make an effort to smack your lips louder. Rupert holds your hand tighter, your knuckles cracking under the desperate, fearful pressure. Just when it seems the officer has steeled himself for an approach, it happens.

He gets a call over his radio loud enough for you to hear. They ask for him to respond. He stops off the bus without a word.

Rupert jerks away from you when the bus doors close, looking around as if he’d awoken from a dream, breathless and bewildered. He whirls around to look at you then, so suddenly you don’t have a chance to wonder if there’s blush on your face. His eyes are so full of blended emotions you can’t tell what he’s thinking. Your thumb runs absent-mindedly over his knuckles and he finally blinks himself out of that trance.

Very quietly, oh-so softly, he chokes out, “Thank you.”

[fourteen--steps]

WHAT OH MY GOSH! how can something so cute exist????? I'm just ahhh!!!! I never thought I would be so excited to be looking for a bird considering how previously mortified I was! Sorry to bug you so much lately! So how about this! Dream 2 birds for the future? And what type of bird do you find the quirkiest/most interesting. -Love always, Sign non 💙

You’re not bugging!! I’m so happy having someone to talk to ^.^ 

Hmmmm, well I think my own cockatiel would be on the list. Biscuit is more of a long term houseguest than anything, he belongs to my friend. He lost his companion Fae last summer and since my friend was away at college I agreed to make sure he was looked after. Her family was kind of neglecting him :/ which bothered us both

I’d love one of my own I can care for my own way and really bond with. Biscuit’s a cutie patootie, but he’s got a lot of ingrained bad habits and weird quirks that I just don’t have the spoons to sit and work with him on at this point in my life.

Other dream birb would be a green cheek conure, so silly! The ones in the bird store I used to work at would just walk around upside down hanging from the cage ceiling.

White belly caiques and lineolated parakeets are honorable mentions?

The kakariki probably fits half on the future goals list and the really neat list? Such weird little birds, not at all like most of the other small birds I’ve gotten to know. We had a few breeding pairs and their various chicks at the store and they were so fascinating. They all had really individual chirps and voice patterns, so you could tell which was peeping at any given time from across the store. And they interacted differently with all the various employees and customers. Used different greeting calls, and some of them liked different people better, and just generally seemed really curious and intelligent.

[suckitsurveys]

I guess this is all about being a kid?

Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? My sister usually watched me. I don’t remember having too many other babysitters. My parents didn’t really go out on their own too much. We’d usually go out with them. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? Nope. Did you ever play hopscotch at school? Probably. Did you refuse to eat your vegetables? Nope. I was a super unpicky eater.

What did you usually dress up as on Halloween? A cat or a witch.

What was your favorite television show? Everything on Nickelodeon. And Garfield and Friends. And Tiny Toons. And Pokemon. Did you have D.E.A.R. time in school? (Drop Everything and Read) We had reading time but I don’t think it was called that. Did you ever read the ‘Magic Treehouse’ series? Nope. How about the ‘Bailey School Kids’ series? Yes. Do you remember the first movie you ever saw in theaters? Aladdin. But I also remember seeing Nightmare Before Christmas in the theater too. I think Aladdin came out first, though.  Who was your best friend in elementary school? A girl named Maura. Did they continue to be your best friend in middle school? I think she left our school in 3rd or 4th grade. In middle school my best friends were Liz and Sara. Did you ever watch 'The Land Before Time’ movies? Yeah. Did you ever watch the show 'Arthur’? Yes!! Did the tooth fairy give you a lot of money? It was a lot to me. How often did you visit your nearest grandparents? All the time. Did you ever play with 'Little People’ toys? Oh my god yes! Those were my favorites. How about Polly Pockets? Yes! I had so many little Polly Pocket sets. They were probably my mom’s favorite to get me. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Beanie Babies. Did you get an allowance? Not really. If I needed/wanted something (within reason of course), my parents would buy it. What was your favorite sport to play? What is it now? Kickball! What foods did you not like then that you do like now? I didn’t really like avocado. Were you into American Girl dolls? I had one, Molly. I was more into the books and the board game as a kid. What was your first pet and what did you name it? We had two blue parakeets as class pets in 2nd grade which the class named Featherbrain and Lucky. My teacher asked my mother if we could take them for the summer and we ended up just keeping them because the teacher ended up leaving. Did you ever read the 'Junie B. Jones’ books? Yeah. What did you want to be when you were a kid? A vet. What was your first word? Your first sentence? (If you remember) No idea. Have you moved into a new house since you were a kid? Yeah, we moved into the house my dad still owns when I was 5. Do you live in a new state? No. Were you friends with your neighbors? I was indeed. The ones on my block and some on the next block too. We played all the time. Did you enjoy exploring your backyard? Yeah, the backyard at my dad’s house is amazing. Our yard was the hangout spot. Did you bake cookies with your grandparents? Nope. She wasn’t the baking type. What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? The ones I still have now, basically. Who did you look up to most? My sister. Did you ever play the 'Reader Rabbit’ computer games? Nope. Did you have a swing set in your backyard? Yup. My dad built it. It’s still standing to this day. How about a sandbox? Yup! My dad built that too. It was a huuuuuuge wooden one and it was amazing. It’s a garden bed now. I kinda wish he’d dig it out and put sand in it again because my nieces would love it. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? 5 or 6. Did you ever spy on your neighbors through the window? Yup. Lol. Were you a teacher’s pet in kindergarten? Everyone was. My kindergarten teacher was amazing. She was so hands on with each kid and let us be as creative and as silly as we wanted. I remember one time we were drawing and she told us to draw ourselves as an assignment. I drew a green monster with a bunch of eyes. When she came to look at our drawings, she didn’t correct me or tell me I was doing the assignment wrong, she just looked at me and said something like, “Hannah you are so creative!” Did you ever build a treehouse or a fort in your yard? A fort, yes. There was a platform on the swing set where the slide is attached to and we’d make forts under it. Did you ever find anything interesting in your yard? Praying manti! My mom would find one every year. Its why I have a tattoo of one on my arm. Did you ever have 'themed birthdays’? I did indeed. Did your parents let you drink soda? Yup. Dr Pepper was our drug of choice. Did you ever watch 'The Powerpuff Girls’ or 'Dexter’s Laboratory’? Oh yes. Did you sleep with a blanket or stuffed animal? Yup. I had a blanket from when I was a baby I slept with every night. And also a little plush bear with a Cubs uniform named Cubby Bear. Did you ever have a night light? I think so? Did you watch 'Winnie the Pooh’? Yeah. Did you ever have an imaginary friend? What was their name? I did. Their names were Julia and McDonalds because I was a weirdo. What kinds of games did you play with your friends during Recess? Tag, freeze tag, capture the flag, ghost in the graveyard even though it was daylight. Did you dream of being a princess or did you not really care about that? I wasn’t really into that. Did you have a special name for your pacifier? What was it? I didn’t have one past like 5 months old. We call them “pacies” with my nieces. Did you watch 'Blues Clues’? Yeah. What kind of car did your parents have? My dad had this Dodge Ram van for a while that he converted the back part into a work bench. My mom had a blue Ford Astrovan for a while, and then that went to my dad and she got a brown one from a friend. Then my dad bought her a brand new Dodge Grand Caravan and he inherited a Ford station wagon from my grandfather. The minivan ended up going to me, my mom got a Honda CRV from my aunt, and my dad bought a new Ford Escape. Now I have the Escape, my sister has the CRV, and my dad bought a new Subaru Outback. We like to pass down cars in this family haha. Did you ever flush anything down the toilet by mistake? Probably. Were you afraid to sleep by yourself? I wasn’t “afraid” but I did frequently fall asleep in my mom and dad’s bed while watching TV with my dad. What was your favorite subject in elementary school? Science. How often did you go to the park? Oh, at least once a week in the summer What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Cheesecake or just yellow cake with vanilla frosting. Did you ever want to grow up? Nope.