#silly little theo

[i-post-your-cats]

yayyyy another kitty blog to follow !? peace and love on planet earth !!!!!!!

thoughts on my little wretched creature ?? he's theo, one of the kittens i adopted last week . defining features: soso small and eepy ✨

ID: two images of a small tan kitten, in the first picture he is lying awake on a red blanket inside a carrier, and the second shows him sleeping with his body straight but neck stretched up so the only part of his face that shows is the nose and mouth

Incredible!!! This eepy little Theo gets an outstanding 100/15!! There is not a thought between those fuzzy little ears of his.

[suugarbabe]

have you ever tried this one? || slytherin boys

Summary: pansy can’t get enough of a new artist she discovered and everyone else is dealing with the consequences

an: my first and last modern-esque au; you’re welcome I love you @musingsofahufflepuff ; also doing this so I can selfishly have all of my crushes say my name

Warnings: slight nsfw suggestions, 18+ suggested content, be mindful of your consumption online, modern-esque au, pretending any of these slytherins dgaf about is music is muggle or not, slytherins being silly goofy.

“How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz?” Enzo sang the lyrics under his breath as he flipped the page of his herbology text and scribbled a few more lines down for his upcoming essay due. The lengthy and lazy boy had brought a side table in front of a sofa so he could lay down while working.

“Do not tell me that Pansy has gotten to you too, I’ve been listening to Mattheo get lyrics wrong all week,” you plopped down on the lounge chair across from Enzo who wore a small smirk.

Mattheo scoffed as he sat down on the arm of your chair, “I have not been getting lyrics wrong. Pansy said Sabrina changes them during concerts!”

You rolled your eyes, “Oh, Sabrina does, does she? You two on a first name basis now are you?” Enzo bit his bottom lip to stifle a giggle before shooting his hand out to block a cushion thrown at him by Matty.

“You’re just upset because Pansy showed me what Junior positions are and your jealous of the ones I’ve been coming up with,” Mattheo stuck out his tongue and you quickly reached out like you were going to grab it.

He let out a small yelp, leaning backwards and unceremoniously falling onto the common room floor, “You’re an idiot, Matty. Serves you right. And it’s Juno positions, not Junior.”

Enzo nodded his head in agreeance with you, “Yeah, Matt. Have you ever tried this one?” Enzo sang his last sentence before sticking his long leg straight up in the air and hip thrusting slightly.

You groaned, slapping a hand over your face as you heard Mattheo bark out a laugh before standing up and walking over to the table in front of Enzo. “Have you ever tried this one?”

Matty placed one foot on the side table before miming grabbing someone’s hips in front of him and humping the air twice. Both boys started cracking up, nearly doubling over with laughter.

Much to your dismay, Theo had made his way over and asked what was so funny. Before you could throw a silencing charm their way they informed him. Causing Theo to grow a devilish grin before singing himself, “Have you ever tried this one?”

Theo stood near the arm rest of the couch, a fist out in front of him miming what you could only assume was him grabbing someone’s hair while swinging his other hand in a motion similar to smacking someone’s ass as he trust his hips forward a few times.

“You sods are fucking disgusting,” you pointed a finger accusingly. Enzo rolled his eyes, “You’re just jealous because you wouldn’t be able to come up with a good one.” You raised your eyebrows challengingly.

“Have you ever tried this one?” You sang as you flip yourself on the lounge chair until you were upside down, head hanging off the edge and opening your mouth is a small *pop* sound.

All three boys’ mouths fell open slightly before clearing their throats, Enzo shamelessly tugging on the crotch of his trousers, “Merlin, have you actually done that position before?”

You shrugged your shoulders, turning to sit upright, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

[cainternn]

normalize squishing your ocs into weird poses like cats

[daylightdunbar]

liam “you know how to ball” dunbar and theo “i know aristotle” raeken you are so dear to me

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Some Theodore Nott and Nottpott headcanons because I feel like it

So, I got in a mood to write some things about Theo. I mentioned here basically all the canon information we have about him, and I wrote a headcanon list for Harry a bit ago, so this post is a bunch of random headcanons I have about Theo Nott (and a bit about Nottpott) that live in my head in no particular order.

They are based on the little canon information available, but I don't actually know where most of them came from. They are just my personal headcanons for a barley existing character.

1. He has dark brown hair and dark grey eyes.

He is also described as "weedy" so I imagine he's tall, thin, gaunt, and pale. In my mind, he looks like a sickly Victorian child. Although, he would look healthier as he grows up.

2. I always change his parents' names, they are very inconsistent in my mind, but their personalities are consistent.

3. His father is a blood-purist, Death Eater who isn't a nice person (understatement) and wasn't really involved in Theo's life up until Theo was capable of more complex thought and speech.

He mostly expects Theo to be molded in his image and not really have any new independent thoughts beyond his rule as the Nott heir.

Usually, I place his grandfather as the Nott who came with Tom Riddle to the DADA interview with Dumbledore in 1967 and was a classmate of Tom Riddle. His father is the Nott we see in the graveyard and the DoM. Basically, I think there are two of them and that it isn't the same guy.

4. His mother is a pure-blood witch, and she is dark and wasn't a fan of muggleborns either, but she also wasn't a fan of Voldemort. She disagreed with his methods more than anything. She didn't believe in the Death Eaters war or their means of dealing with muggleborns/muggles (although her solution probably wasn't great either, but it wasn't murdering all of them, so...)

5. Theo is initially similar to his mother’s views, he doesn't necessarily like muggleborns, but he doesn't think they should all be hunted down. He thinks the issue is more complex than most blood purists think, after all, he'd be all for just leaving the muggleborns with the muggles like squibs, but they have magic, and doing that would inevitably lead to wizards' discovery.

Talking to Harry and Hemione would make him more accepting later on.

He also thinks the idea that muggleborns "steel magic" is ludicrous and contradicts everything known about magical theory. Even if he sees them as innately lesser due to his upbringing, he draws the line at contradicting magical theory.

6. He was always closer to his mom and sat at her bedside while she was dying.

7. Theo's mother died when he was 8.

8. In my headcanon Mr. Nott poisoned her over time and later in life when Theo learns of it he becomes very interested in poisons.

The why Mr. Nott killed her isn't something my mind is consistent about and the ideas range from revenge to ritual sacrifice to cover up.

9. He takes 3 electives in school: Care for Magical Creatures, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes.

10. His favorite school subject is Ancient Runes.

11. His grades are pretty good with Es and Os — his Os being Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Potions, Transfiguration, Astronomy, and Charms, He got Es for History, Care, and DADA. Herbology is an A for him, he knows the theory well, but he has no interest in actually growing plants ("I could just buy them, I don't see why I'd need to grow my ingredients").

12. Theo isn't really a fan of magical candy, he thinks the enchantments on them are mostly cheap gimmicks.

13. The hat considered him for Ravenclaw, but eventually decided on Slytherin, not for ambition (Theo isn't very ambitious) but for cunning and resourcefulness. Plus kinda fearing his father's reaction if he wasn't in Slytherin.

14. Theo understands how to manufacture an image and unlike Draco, can look aloof and unimpressed when he wants to. He usually looks generally unimpressed and judgmental over something — that's his resting face trained into him by years of saying "yes, father" over everything.

15. Theo has a pretty good memory, but there is one thing, in particular, his father said he was forced to verbally agree to that is etched in his mind: "It's better now you aren't stuck to her bedside" after his mother died (or something along these lines).

16. He honestly loves magic and is often amazed at Harry's intuitive grasp of some complex theoretical concepts. Harry always gets bashful and defensive when he mentions it repeating it isn't that impressive. Theo disagrees with him.

17. Theo doesn't laugh a lot, and Harry cherishes every moment he does.

18. Theo's really quiet and spends more time with books than people. He usually doesn't like people all that much.

19. He and Harry would sometimes just sit in the same space without really talking or doing anything together besides sharing a space, but it is comforting and relaxing to both of them.

20. He was abused by his father (more emotionally and psychologically than physically. Mr. Nott didn't hit him like a muggle, he might've cast some curses that don't leave a mark, but mostly he was distant and an emotionally manipulative piece of shit with impossible standards)

I can see some of Mr. Nott's punishments including, like, grounding with silencing charms and shit like that.

21. Theo would kill his father if he could get away with it.

22. The best years for Theo were 6th and 7th year. During 6th year his father was in Azkaban after the battle in the DoM, and in 7th he made sure to just ditch the UK with the money he stole from his father when he was in Azkaban. (Unless I'm diverging from canon before that)

He does come back to 8th year when that becomes an option.

22. The dynamic Theo has with his father when he grows older is like a weird sort of cold war with each of them counting wins against the other. Almost like a really twisted game of who can get away with fucking up the other's life more. Mr. Nott is usually in the lead and Theo's in constant search for blackmail material he could use against his dad.

23. Theo doesn't really have too bad self-esteem issues thanks to his mom who was a positive influence on his self-image in his formative years. His father is pretty annoyed he couldn't curve some of her influence off Theo.

He does have a trusting and connecting to people issue.

The fact Harry doesn't just treat all relationships as transactional where something would be given and something gained messes him up (in a good way).

24. Theo and Harry would, like, never go on a date somewhere public, they'll stick to hanging out just the two of them somewhere quiet.

25. I also headcanon that Theo could probably get Harry to study better because he'd actually appreciate his intuitive approach to magic and adapt the way he's explaining things to it.

26. They figured out they were both abused in a conversation that went something like this:

Harry: "My relatives don't like me much"

Theo (realizing): "My father doesn't like me much either"

Cue silent understanding and then they just continue whatever conversation they had before.

Later they would inevitably come back to this subject and talk about it more. Harry is honestly elated he can joke with Theo about ducking his uncle's fists without getting pitying glances.

27. He is less hot-headed than Harry and tends to not jump into action. He likes to observe first (even if there isn't always time for it).

28. Theo's the observe invisibly from the sidelines kinda guy. He knows a lot about people just from sitting quietly and listening. (I kinda used to do this in my former workplace, not on purpose, it was my ADHD, but I always knew all the rumors about everyone and what was going on with who even though no one told me any of it and they never realized I just sat quietly not actually reading on my phone while they were talking. It was kinda funny. Sometimes I'd tell my friends the really dramatic story I heard on the bus about complete strangers because I accidentally eavesdropped). Point is, Theo's got a blackmail folder, just in case. He just likes to have blackmail, even if he'll never use it. It's a safety net.

29. He is usually less brave than Harry, his bravery is very selective on how much he cares about whatever it is. He is a Slytherin, he has enough self-preservation for both him and Harry, but if he really cares about something, as we're shown with most Slytherins, all that self-preservation goes out the window.

30. Theo is pretty decent at planning for the long run or preparing, but these spare-of-the-moment plans Harry is so good at, aren't his strong suit. Theo is in his element when he has time to prepare for a situation.

31. He used to meet Draco and Pansy often when they were children because their parents were in the same circles, but he was never close to any of them. He doesn't really have friends, he has people he can talk to and be acquainted well enough with, but it's not really the epitome of friendship. Most of them are in Slytherin in the year above him.

32. Theo doesn't really play Quidditch (he says he's no good at it, and he's mostly right, like, he can fly a broom but he isn't great at it or anything), but he is a fan. He listens to games and follows up on team stats. When he was younger he and his mom would go to games together (she was on the Slytherin Quidditch team when she was a student).

[attempted--eloquence]

Oh that we could always see such spirit through the year

-whats one thing you wanted for xmas as a kid that you never got

The message comes just after midnight. Theo imagines Liam on the other side of town thinking about him. Squinting past the glare of his phone screen in a dark room while Theo does the same from his truck.

-Why

Theo doesn’t want to think about this. He considers replying some peace and fucking quiet or its meaner alternative, for you to leave me alone, but thinks he might have worn out his be-an-asshole-and-then-say-jk privileges by now.

-just curious

Earlier today there was a holiday crafting event in the library’s children’s literature section. Tables of kids and their parents cutting snowflakes out of paper and drowning the end result in Elmer’s glue and glitter. Theo never learned how to do the snowflake thing as a child but standing there watching kids haphazardly snip away at folded sheets of paper and unfurl their creations, he almost wanted to.

This time of year makes him feel like that. The snipped-away thing. All those discarded paper trimmings.

❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄

Theo still believed in Santa Claus when the Dread Doctors took him.

That first December with them Theo was eight, freshly monstered and only knew Christmas day had come because he kept a tally of each passing day on a crumpled sheet of notebook paper stuck to the underside of his cot. But then again time was slippery those days. When Theo woke up presentless on what he thought was December 25th—the 86th day of his new life—he assumed Santa hadn’t gotten his new address yet. He didn’t know his new address yet himself.

The next year, on the 451st day of his life—not new anymore, just his—he rationalized that he made the naughty list. That’s what happens when kids do bad things. They wake up presentless. They wake up on a surgical table and forget how they got there. They wake up and etch another tally mark into the wall of the place they sleep—with claws they know how to use now—because they ran out of room on the crumpled sheet of notebook paper months ago and needed something more permanent.

He doesn’t remember what happened the year after, or the year after that, or the next.

When Scott proposed a pack-wide “12 days of secret santa” Theo politely declined. When Scott texted him two days later to notify him that everyone else had agreed and he’d be the odd man out, Theo not-so-politely declined. Again. The next day Scott sent a link, nothing else. Theo clicked it to find himself on one of those stupid customizable e-card websites; an animated red and green present bopped around the screen flashing OPEN ME! In hindsight, it’s at this point that Theo should have set aside his phone, pretended not to have seen the message, and gone on his merriless way. But he’s a steadfast masochist so he jabbed at the stupid fucking animated present and it exploded into stupid fucking animated red and green confetti that dispersed to reveal a stupid fucking animated picture of Stiles. His giftee. For the 12 days of secret santa he pointedly did not agree to.

And Theo should perhaps be annoyed at that, but instead he’s wondering if the unlucky bastard that drew his name saw a similarly stupid fucking animated picture of his face. He hopes it was flattering, at least.

Scott:

-Three rules ok

-No revealing ur identity until christmas

-No spending money so get creative

-And u have to give a gift everyday til christmas starting on the 14th

-Have fun! (not a rule but a suggestion)

-Got a notif that u opened the link btw

- :)

Fine, whatever. Malicious compliance, then.

❅❆❄

He gets the text moments after leaving the first of 12 gifts on the front porch of the Stilinski household: a black dry erase marker taped to a piece of notebook paper that says, “thought you might need this.”

-ho ho ho

There’s a boring but noteworthy story to this. The marker, not the text. One that starts with a pack meeting at the Stilinski residence, leads to an outrageously ridiculous debate over which pack members should get whiteboard privileges—and, by extension, get to use his “super cool brand new ultra pristine” chisel tip markers—and ends with Theo slipping out of the house with the 12-pack of Expos stuffed beneath his sweatshirt in an act of petty revenge theft.

12-pack. It’s almost serendipitous.

His phone buzzes again during his getaway.

-ready for your first gift?

-doesn’t matter bc youre getting it anyway

-this is your secret santa btw

It’s a random number, probably one generated from a texting app.

-Shocker

-today’s gift is…

-(waiting for a drumroll)

He’d roll his eyes but the dramatic effect would be lost on his secret santa. Instead, he replies: Not getting one

-fuck you too then scrooge

-the gift is a compliment, so here it goes

-I admire your commitment to wearing at least two layers of clothing at all times

He didn’t think it was possible to get a worse gift than a stolen box of dry erase markers returned piecemeal.

-crickets?

-really nothing?

-not even a thx

-whatever man, talk to you later

And so it begins.

❅❆❄

-sooooo..

-Yes?

-I left you a gift

-did you not get it

-What was it?

-a candy cane

-Oh

When Theo left the rec center this morning it was stuck beneath his windshield wiper like a festive parking ticket. He assumed it was some bullshit random act of holiday kindness, that he was the coincidental victim of some cheery stranger vandalizing people’s cars with candy canes to make them feel good about themselves.

-oh?

-I think the words you’re looking for are thank you

-Didn’t eat it

-wtaf

-why not???

-I don’t like peppermint

-neither do I

-that’s why it was strawberry flavored you dick

Alright, so maybe he feels a little bad for tossing it in the trash can on the sidewalk before getting in his truck. Just a little.

❅❆❄

A green post-it note with a ballpoint pen and highlighter rendition of Snoopy atop a holiday-decorated dog house is taped to the driver’s side window of Theo’s truck when he slinks out of Deaton’s clinic after a few hours of cataloging wolfsbane strains. Beneath it is another sticky note with a drawing of what Theo can only assume is a stick figure version of himself reacting to the drawing of Snoopy. Big, mean frown on his face. There’s a thought bubble above his misshapen head that reads, “bah humbug!” Actually half-decent. The drawings, not Deaton’s busy work. He tucks them away in his glove box instead of tossing anything in the trash this time.

-So you’re stalking me

He would try to narrow down who his anonymous gifter could be, but that would require conceding interest in this whole charade. Which he lacks entirely. Really. Even though Stiles’s increasingly irate pack chat rants about the slow return of his stolen dry erase markers sparks a special kind of holiday joy in him.

-nah I’m secret santa-ing you

-so do you like the gift?

-have you ever even seen a charlie brown christmas

He pauses, pulls the Snoopy sticky note out of the glovebox as if to jog his memory. As if his memory is even a trustworthy thing past a certain point.

-Yeah I think so

-A long time ago

Like, before he started keeping a tally of every day. Like when days were just new wakeups and not milestones. That long ago.

-“I think so”

-geez

-you really are scrooge

-I’ve got some work to do huh

-Guess so

❅❆❄

Okay. Fine. He knows his secret santa is Liam. Whatever. It was basic deduction—no effort involved whatsoever.

He knows because the last pack meeting was held at Liam’s place. Liam’s living room has been cannibalized by a massive, gaudy christmas tree adorned with tinsel, sparkly garland, rainbow lights, and ornaments galore. And candy canes. The same pinkish white striped kind that Theo chucked away a few days ago.

So he stole one, just to check. Sidled up close to the tree like he was admiring the lights, snatched a candy cane when no one was looking and hid it away in his jeans pocket.

Plus, not like Theo was chasing a hunch or anything, when Mason asked Liam for a sticky note to jot down the name of a bestiary to research, Liam returned with a green post-it. Same lime-y shade as the ones still in Theo’s glove box.

And then, not like he needed any further confirmation, but he just so happened to text his secret santa—what’s in store for me today?—right as Liam slipped out to the bathroom, leaving his phone behind. It chimed.

So, it was that easy.

The only thing that makes him second-guess his suspicion is that his gift is sitting on the roof of his truck when he leaves the pack meeting, which, unless Liam has mastered the art of self-replication or enlisted someone else to assist, would kind of be impossible to do on his own.

Whatever. Theory still stands until proven otherwise.

The gift is a ziploc bag that contains a green cat’s eye marble, an oblong, striated rock, a silver dollar, and a flattened wildflower with crisp, browning petals that crumble when he touches them. It’s not until hours after the pack meeting that Theo gets a response to his initial text.

-dude

-for a scrooge you sure are invested in trying to blow my cover

-anyway, day 4: cool stuff I found in the woods!

He puts the bag away with the sticky notes and the pilfered candy cane. His glove compartment is becoming a secret santa shrine.

-You should’ve spread these out as multiple gifts

-shit

-you’re right

❅❆❄

Theo cracks that night. Cat, curiosity. He nabs the candy cane from his glovebox, unwraps it, and gives it one tentative lick.

Strawberry.

❅❆❄

-snow is so cold

-the sky is blue

-this is your 5th gift

-how did I do?

-I don’t think you’re a future poet laureate if that’s what you’re asking

❅❆❄

On his sixth day of driving Stiles crazy, Theo drops a sky blue marker off on the Stilinski household’s doorstep sans cap. Halfway through all 12 days and, as much fun as Theo’s having being the worst secret santa ever, the marker drops are beginning to feel a bit pedestrian.

In an unfortunate turn of events, the texts from his own secret santa have become a highlight of the increasingly bleak and banal California winter.

December break has been hard. He wakes up. He goes to the rec center to work out and shower instead of school because the building is closed. He drops off a “gift” for Stiles. He works a shift at Deaton’s and loiters until he can’t find any other excuses to stick around. He kills time at the library. He sleeps in shifts, moves his truck around town a couple times a night so as not to rouse suspicion from Beacon Hills’s finest parking enforcement officers.

And amidst it all, he waits for Liam to text.

-happy day 6

-today’s gift is pro bono advice

-consider me your sounding board

-your oracle

-your magic conch shell

-And you think I need your advice why?

Doesn’t mean he won’t be an ass about it.

-theo come on

-I am trying my best here but you are making this so hard

-I’m kidding

-Sorry

-you’re not but ok

-Whatever

-I’ll take your stupid advice

-I’m all ears

-If I wanted to hypothetically annoy the shit out of the recipient of my secret santa gifts

-And those gifts were hypothetically items I hypothetically stole from said recipient

-And I had hypothetically been returning those items in the most annoying way possible

-How do I make it even more annoying?

-oh my god

-unhypothetically stiles is going to kill you

-He can try

Theo waits as Liam’s little text bubble appears, disappears. Pops up again. Lingers. Until, finally—

-ok here’s what you could do

-switch all the caps so they’re different colors

-and scratch the logo off the outside so everything is blank and it’s a mystery which color is which

-Meh

-well ok then mr. degeneracy

-you could return the caps and markers on separate days

-Did that already

-oh or make it a really stupid scavenger hunt so that he has to find the markers and/or caps himself

-bonus points if you write the clues in the marker color that he’s looking for

-Huh

-That’s more like it

-this doesn’t make me an accomplice tho

-got it?

-Wouldn’t give you credit even if you wanted it

-gee thanks

-I thought evil plots were supposed to be my thing anyway

-lol

-if you were actually any good at them we wouldn’t be having this conversation rn

❅❆❄

-whats one thing you wanted for xmas as a kid that you never got

The message comes just after midnight. Theo imagines Liam on the other side of town thinking about him. Squinting past the glare of his phone screen in a dark room while Theo does the same from his truck.

-Why

Theo doesn’t want to think about this. He considers replying some peace and fucking quiet or its meaner alternative, for you to leave me alone, but thinks he might have worn out his be-an-asshole-and-then-say-jk privileges by now.

-just curious

Earlier today—yesterday technically, whatever—there was a holiday crafting event in the library’s children’s literature section. Tables of kids and their parents cutting snowflakes out of paper and drowning the end result in Elmer’s glue and glitter. Theo never learned how to do the snowflake thing as a child but standing there watching kids haphazardly snip away at folded sheets of paper and unfurl their creations, he almost wanted to.

This time of year makes him feel like that. The snipped-away thing. All those discarded paper trimmings.

-helloooo

-fine, I’ll start

-I wanted a razor scooter so bad but my mom was convinced I was gonna fall off and crack my head open or knock all my teeth out

-joke’s on her bc only time I ever chipped a tooth or got a head injury was playing lacrosse

If Theo gave a shit about the secret santa rules, he would chide Liam on that slip-up. He’s not even trying to keep his identity a secret anymore.

-ok now your turn

That first Christmas with the Dread Doctors—

It sounds ridiculous that way. The Surgeon, The Geneticist, The Pathologist and Theo huddled around a Christmas tree or something. Rainbow string lights in the operating theater and fruit cake in the specimen fridge. Der Soldat’s tube adorned with a wreath.

—Day 86 of his new life. He remembers having a Christmas list. They took out his heart but didn’t take the naivete and want out of him. There was a book on it, the list. Probably toys too, but if he thinks too hard about those he might remember that he really was a kid then. Was a kid, period.

-Do you remember those books

-They had white covers and like a collage of pictures of whatever subject the book was about on the front

-There was one for pretty much any topic you could think of

-yeah I think so

-hold on

There’s that text bubble again. Headlights cascade across the truck’s interior as a car passes by and carries on farther down the road.

-DK eyewitness?

-Yeah. They had a book about outer space

-I wanted that I guess

-of course you’d want a textbook for xmas

-nerd

Snip, snip, snip.

-Is today’s gift you annoying the fuck out of me?

Sometimes Theo makes the mistake of forgetting why they’re talking to each other. For the next five days he’ll remain an obligation. After that, an afterthought.

More empty roads. Early sunsets. Winter dark.

-I was joking

-I’m sorry

-I used to read those…had one about dinosaurs, one about ancient egypt + another about medieval weapons

-oh and one about sharks

-they were awesome

-Rule 1

He says it to reinstate distance between them more than anything.

-yeah yeah whatever

-every kid read those books, that hardly counts as identifying information

-anyway today’s gift is an IOU to be redeemed @ any point in the next 365 days

-No exceptions?

-uh yeah exceptions?? are you crazy

-no murder

-or like crime of any kind

-and it can’t cost $$$

-Shitty IOU

-well sometimes you get a candy cane in your stocking

-sometimes you get a lump of coal

-merry christmas dirtbag

-and goodnight

❅❆❄

Theo has long since learned his lesson about opening random, unprompted links—thanks, Scott—so when day eight’s gift comes in the form of a dropbox URL, he pointedly ignores it.

For a while. Until a follow-up message from his secret santa comes through, that is.

-so…did you open it?

-Nope

-dude come on

-I’m actually excited about this one

-I think you’ll like it

Okay. Fine. Consider his interest piqued. He clicks the stupid link to the stupid dropbox and what he finds is a movie library. Christmas movie library.

He fights back an eyeroll before remembering Liam can’t see his exasperation, and opts to lose the battle anyway.

-Movies?

-a charlie brown christmas!

-and a few of my other favorite Christmas movies

-the old kind of uncanny valley claymation ones

-Not in the mood

-Christmas is in four days how could you not be in the mood

-I personally pirated these for you

-show some appreciation

Liam follows up the message with a gif of Charlie Brown decorating a Christmas tree.

-you after your movie marathon

-Bald?

-lmao shut up and enjoy your movies, mr. grinch

❅❆❄

Theo watches all three hours of pirated Christmas specials because he’s awake when nothing else is. Consumes the world in reds and greens and whites and blues. Felted snow and stop motion. He figures the movies might bore him to sleep, at least, but afterward he’s tired in a new way.

Could sleep for days. Could sleep right through Christmas. Wouldn’t be so bad, he thinks.

Wouldn’t miss much.

❅❆❄

It’s not like Theo sits around waiting all day for his secret santa to text him, but not hearing anything by nearly 11:00 p.m. is out of the ordinary, to say the least.

So Theo takes a page out of Liam’s his secret santa’s book.

-Sooo

-Day 9?

-sorry, I didn’t forget

-just haven’t figured anything out yet

-shit idk man thinking of 12 free gifts is hard

-you like hugs? need one?

-**to be redeemed at a later date**

-Forget I asked

-ok how about this

-your 9th gift is a free vent sesh, get something off your chest

-judgement free zone over here I stg

-I’m good

-cmon there’s gotta be something you feel like bitching about

-you’re you

-regrets, shit that’s bothering you, pet peeves or whatever

His fingers stutter against the keys and then revoke themselves. He’s the source of the appearing and disappearing text bubble this time. Almost sent you’re bothering me, because it's right there, cheap and easy and more in character for him than being honest—doesn’t go against his personal credo of “keep everyone at arm’s length.”

-don’t leave me hanging

-you’re making me feel like a shitty gift giver

-You don’t have to give me anything

-Seriously I don’t care

-I didn’t want to do the secret santa thing anyway

-I don’t think I’ve gotten a christmas gift since I was like 7

-lol

-dude

So much for arm’s length.

Liam’s typing, and typing, and typing, and Theo figures he doesn’t know what to say just as much as Theo doesn’t know how to make this admission not a big thing.

Maybe a “jk” would help.

-I’m sorry

And then Liam’s back to his magic trick of the appearing and disappearing text bubble while Theo considers tossing his phone out his window and reversing over it.

His participation was a misstep. The pack’s secret santa gimmick is a contagion that creates the illusion of temporary closeness. The one-sided anonymity afforded by the game will only last a few more days but after that Liam will still know more about the past ten years of his life than Theo has ever cared to deliberately divulge. The thought of that makes him itch.

So he’s gotta nip this shit in the bud before Liam can say anything else about it.

-I’m cashing in my IOU

-ok?

-what for

-For you to drop this

-The whole secret santa thing

-No more days

An answer doesn’t come for a long time.

-fine.

But when it does, Theo isn’t sure that what he feels is relief.

❅❆❄

“Someone dropped these off for you,” Deaton says in lieu of a greeting when Theo shows up for his opening shift.

On the counter in front of him is a saran wrapped paper plate of cookies. Upon closer inspection, they’re studded with red and green M&Ms and topped with white, snowflake-shaped sprinkles that match the pattern on the plate. There’s a green sticky note slapped on top. “For Theo,” it reads. “Not getting rid of me that easily.” Next to the cookies is a thermos with another sticky note. This one says "Drink me!”

His shift’s early. 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday. Theo should be bothered that Liam is ignoring his IOU but can’t help but be impressed by the commitment. What he has grown to have the most faith in is the fact that people will inevitably grow tired of him and deem him not worth the effort.

He keeps biting. Liam keeps reaching out a hand anyway. Theo’s trying not to feel weird about it.

Deaton clears his throat.

Theo plays dumb. Asks, “Who?”

“I didn’t happen to see them.”

But the faint smirk on Deaton’s face says otherwise.

“Mystery cookies and a mystery beverage from a mystery person,” he huffs. “I’ll pass. Could be poisoned.”

Deaton quirks a brow. “Unlikely. But there’s only one way to find out.”

He pushes the gifts toward Theo.

“I’ll be in the back. Take your time.”

Theo spends the first fifteen minutes of his shift getting sated on christmas cookies and thick hot chocolate—still warm.

The rest of the day plods on without a word from Liam. Theo doesn’t blame him.

He spends a lot of time thinking about those M&Ms on top of the cookies, though. Each one evenly spaced from the rest, pressed down ever so slightly into the crests of the cookies. Alternating reds and greens. Imagines Liam taking the time to place each one.

Theo tries not to feel weird about it.

❅❆❄

Nothing’s ever open on Christmas Eve. Just malls and grocery stores. Theo is in the canned goods aisle running his fingers against the ridges of a can of pineapple rings, soaking up socialization by proxy, when the texts come in.

-hey

-so it’s day 11

-we’re almost done with this, just bear with me here

-today’s gift is 11 affirmations

-#1: you’re really smart

Theo gives up on feigning interest in shelf-stable goods. He commandeers the endcap—there’s a special on Spam, if anyone’s interested—and has to fight back an audible groan.

-Stop

-This is the same as day 1

-And I told you I’m done with this

-dude no it isn’t

-just let me do this

-#2: you’re weirdly good at keeping those white sneakers of yours clean

#3: you’re actually a lot of help when you want to be

-so i’m glad to have you on our side

-I’m going to block you

-for once can you not be an asshole

-this is your gift and it can’t possibly be more unbearable for you than it is for me

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Theo won’t wait around to find out.

Block this Caller.

Blocking the number is a gift for both of them. Liam probably wouldn’t even be able to come up with 9 more nice things to say about him anyway. It’s fine. Today’s basically the last day of the secret santa bullshit before tomorrow’s “reveal” at the pack Christmas party anyway. He can text Theo from his actual phone number if he wants.

If he wants.

But the rest of the day drags by in isolation. Theo almost misses the desperate clamor of the grocery store. No follow-up messages from his secret santa via a new text app number. No reprimand from Scott. Not even a group chat bitchfit from Stiles about today’s marker scavenger hunt that led him into the preserve to excavate a marker that Theo cut the tip off of. Just an all-around silence.

Guess it’s a Christmas miracle.

❅❆❄

The only thing that gets Theo to the pack Christmas party at Scott’s is the satisfaction of being able to hand Stiles his last marker in person.

Except it’s not the last marker, because Theo has decided to keep that one—bold red, pristine chisel tip—for himself. Instead, Stiles will get a dingy yellow highlighter from the bottom of Theo’s backpack. The moldy cherry on top of a shit sundae.

But before Theo can make it up the driveway and to the front door, he’s promptly dragged away from Scott’s front door and forced over to the side of the house by Liam.

“Hi,” he greets, demeanor somewhere between annoyed and hesitant. He’s got one arm angled behind his back, keeping something out of Theo’s line of sight.

“Liam,” Theo says, feigning surprise that definitely falls short of convincing. “Hey.”

“Look, I know you knew it was me the whole time. Your secret santa.”

“Maybe.”

“Texting me during that pack meeting was a dick move and you know it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s what I did to piss you off most over the past twelve days,” Theo retorts. It’s almost an apology for his nearly two weeks of assholery. Almost.

Liam exhales an almost-laugh in return. “About that. Without everyone around, I just wanted to—here.”

He shoves the hidden thing into Theo’s grasp.

“Your last gift.”

It’s a book. White cover, a collage of planets and satellites and stars across the front. DK Eyewitness logo and UNIVERSE emblazoned across the top in orange letters.

The book.

Theo gets this kind of gutted, breathless feeling. Keeps turning the book over in his hands, running his fingers along the pages, like he expects it to disappear if he looks away for too long. He wants to write his name on the inside. Thinks he might.

“We weren’t supposed to spend any money,” he says.

It’s dumb, but it’s the only thing he can vocalize without losing his composure. Something’s clogging his throat. Gratitude and guilt. Almost ten years of wanting.

“It was like five bucks. Don’t worry about it,” Liam shrugs, small and unsure.

Inside the front cover Theo finds a green sticky note.

Merry Christmas.

“I wasn’t sure if this was the one you were talking about,” Liam says, voice laden with a preemptive apology. “I googled it and they have a bunch of different space-related books. Planets, and stars, and astronomy, and even space exploration. Figured ‘the universe’ kinda covered all of that.”

It’s embarrassing, the way Theo’s voice gets all tight when he stammers out, “It’s, uh—yeah. This is it. Thank you.”

Liam exhales, long and relieved. He rocks back on his heels. It feels like he’s staring not just at Theo but into him when he says, “This can be a shitty time of year for a lot of people. For a lot of reasons. You don’t, um. You don’t have to carry that weight into the new year, you know.”

Theo thinks of gray December. Empty roads. Cold nights.

Liam drags his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes flitting from the book to Theo. Adds, “At least, not all by yourself.”

❅❆❄

Liam Dunbar:

-so…

-you got plans for NYE?

-asking for a friend

-I’ll check my schedule

❅❆❄

On the 3,287 day of his life, Theo stops counting.

[hp-hcs]

yk what’s crazy to me is that like, the same people who complain about mattheo riddle and enzo berkshire (and ig theo nott, who’s only mentioned in the books) being fan-made characters who aren’t actually canon will go and verbally harass a 16yo on TikTok who just made a silly goofy edit of benjamin wadsworth, and then keep scrolling through their fyp of all marauders fandom stuff like that’s not literally the same thing

[buboloboogie]

MAJOR SUCKENING 13 EP FINALE SPOILERS !!!!!

!!!!!!

Here are some incoherent sketchbook doodles i’ve scrounged together, hope yew liek them :3c

[blackhholes]

teen wolf meme: [6/6] creatures -> ghost riders

In storm clouds just like these, phantom hunters would appear, riding black horses with blood-red eyes, and wolves and hounds at their side, baying and snarling. What were they hunting? Souls.

[apricusapollo]

"theo's an evil manipulative asshole who killed scott and almost tore the entire pack apart!!!"

an evil manipulative asshole who killed scott and almost tore the entire pack apart in question:

[theninth09]

[lloydfrontera]

i find it a little hysterical that rakiel is of a perfectly average height being 1.70 cm tall. and yet because he constantly finds himself being surrounded by very tall people he always looks short by comparison. there's literally no escape if it's not damian it's javilon or theodore or asterion or berkis or javier or someone else because everyone but him gets to be a fucking giant. doomed to always be the shortest guy in the room smh

[human-souls-buy-dopamine]

"Hmm a mutual likes this character from cookie run. Maybe I should get back into it I heard there's cool updates"

[Downloads the entirely wrong game]

"Oh shit right that guy's in ovenbreak... wait I have saved progress from before maybe I should just continue"

[game crashes. Repeatedly. Almost like clockwork.]

"it's fine I'm gonna grind for the silly oc maker anyways"

[Gets like two whole ass epic cookies aND APPARENTLY HAS ENOUGH SOULSTONES FOR AN ANCIENT?]

[darkcacaomassacresworld1.png]

[dopaminehit.png]

"Oh shit wait I can decorate stuff.,...,."

[Proceeds to play broken ass game on LOWEST QUALITY that STILL CRASHES and drives me nuts with in-game notifications i cant dismiss]

"hm . Since this experience has obviously been very high quality maybe I should download ovenbrea

[daylightdunbar]

twitch streamer!liam dunbar

“guys, who the hell is theo raeken?”

[sunnydeized]

some of my favorite theo photos uploaded by the members for his birthday ☀️

[multimayhem]

As an artist, I love seeing “bad” art. Art that’s like- incomprehensible to any other human mind, but it makes absolute sense in the artist’s.

Making random collages of things that barely fit together, giving things texture, ripping out papers because the pencils won’t erase anymore, or paper clipping together vent doodles that you don’t want anyone to see - that’s art to me. That’s the meaning of art; it’s imperfect every step of the way, and that’s just so gorgeous to me.

I’ve had friends who compare their art to professionals, I’ve had some who compare their work to Ai, and I’ve had friends who give up because of the stress. And that saddens me, because of everything I do, I find peace in art. Like, it makes me so happy, and I recognize that, when I get stuck, I should change topics.

So anyone who (somehow) sees this, continue making art, even if it’s horrible in your eyes. Because it’s amazing.