#hiii here is a little thiam secret Santa fic I wrote

[attempted--eloquence]

Oh that we could always see such spirit through the year

-whats one thing you wanted for xmas as a kid that you never got

The message comes just after midnight. Theo imagines Liam on the other side of town thinking about him. Squinting past the glare of his phone screen in a dark room while Theo does the same from his truck.

-Why

Theo doesn’t want to think about this. He considers replying some peace and fucking quiet or its meaner alternative, for you to leave me alone, but thinks he might have worn out his be-an-asshole-and-then-say-jk privileges by now.

-just curious

Earlier today there was a holiday crafting event in the library’s children’s literature section. Tables of kids and their parents cutting snowflakes out of paper and drowning the end result in Elmer’s glue and glitter. Theo never learned how to do the snowflake thing as a child but standing there watching kids haphazardly snip away at folded sheets of paper and unfurl their creations, he almost wanted to.

This time of year makes him feel like that. The snipped-away thing. All those discarded paper trimmings.

❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄ ❅❆❄

Theo still believed in Santa Claus when the Dread Doctors took him.

That first December with them Theo was eight, freshly monstered and only knew Christmas day had come because he kept a tally of each passing day on a crumpled sheet of notebook paper stuck to the underside of his cot. But then again time was slippery those days. When Theo woke up presentless on what he thought was December 25th—the 86th day of his new life—he assumed Santa hadn’t gotten his new address yet. He didn’t know his new address yet himself.

The next year, on the 451st day of his life—not new anymore, just his—he rationalized that he made the naughty list. That’s what happens when kids do bad things. They wake up presentless. They wake up on a surgical table and forget how they got there. They wake up and etch another tally mark into the wall of the place they sleep—with claws they know how to use now—because they ran out of room on the crumpled sheet of notebook paper months ago and needed something more permanent.

He doesn’t remember what happened the year after, or the year after that, or the next.

When Scott proposed a pack-wide “12 days of secret santa” Theo politely declined. When Scott texted him two days later to notify him that everyone else had agreed and he’d be the odd man out, Theo not-so-politely declined. Again. The next day Scott sent a link, nothing else. Theo clicked it to find himself on one of those stupid customizable e-card websites; an animated red and green present bopped around the screen flashing OPEN ME! In hindsight, it’s at this point that Theo should have set aside his phone, pretended not to have seen the message, and gone on his merriless way. But he’s a steadfast masochist so he jabbed at the stupid fucking animated present and it exploded into stupid fucking animated red and green confetti that dispersed to reveal a stupid fucking animated picture of Stiles. His giftee. For the 12 days of secret santa he pointedly did not agree to.

And Theo should perhaps be annoyed at that, but instead he’s wondering if the unlucky bastard that drew his name saw a similarly stupid fucking animated picture of his face. He hopes it was flattering, at least.

Scott:

-Three rules ok

-No revealing ur identity until christmas

-No spending money so get creative

-And u have to give a gift everyday til christmas starting on the 14th

-Have fun! (not a rule but a suggestion)

-Got a notif that u opened the link btw

- :)

Fine, whatever. Malicious compliance, then.

❅❆❄

He gets the text moments after leaving the first of 12 gifts on the front porch of the Stilinski household: a black dry erase marker taped to a piece of notebook paper that says, “thought you might need this.”

-ho ho ho

There’s a boring but noteworthy story to this. The marker, not the text. One that starts with a pack meeting at the Stilinski residence, leads to an outrageously ridiculous debate over which pack members should get whiteboard privileges—and, by extension, get to use his “super cool brand new ultra pristine” chisel tip markers—and ends with Theo slipping out of the house with the 12-pack of Expos stuffed beneath his sweatshirt in an act of petty revenge theft.

12-pack. It’s almost serendipitous.

His phone buzzes again during his getaway.

-ready for your first gift?

-doesn’t matter bc youre getting it anyway

-this is your secret santa btw

It’s a random number, probably one generated from a texting app.

-Shocker

-today’s gift is…

-(waiting for a drumroll)

He’d roll his eyes but the dramatic effect would be lost on his secret santa. Instead, he replies: Not getting one

-fuck you too then scrooge

-the gift is a compliment, so here it goes

-I admire your commitment to wearing at least two layers of clothing at all times

He didn’t think it was possible to get a worse gift than a stolen box of dry erase markers returned piecemeal.

-crickets?

-really nothing?

-not even a thx

-whatever man, talk to you later

And so it begins.

❅❆❄

-sooooo..

-Yes?

-I left you a gift

-did you not get it

-What was it?

-a candy cane

-Oh

When Theo left the rec center this morning it was stuck beneath his windshield wiper like a festive parking ticket. He assumed it was some bullshit random act of holiday kindness, that he was the coincidental victim of some cheery stranger vandalizing people’s cars with candy canes to make them feel good about themselves.

-oh?

-I think the words you’re looking for are thank you

-Didn’t eat it

-wtaf

-why not???

-I don’t like peppermint

-neither do I

-that’s why it was strawberry flavored you dick

Alright, so maybe he feels a little bad for tossing it in the trash can on the sidewalk before getting in his truck. Just a little.

❅❆❄

A green post-it note with a ballpoint pen and highlighter rendition of Snoopy atop a holiday-decorated dog house is taped to the driver’s side window of Theo’s truck when he slinks out of Deaton’s clinic after a few hours of cataloging wolfsbane strains. Beneath it is another sticky note with a drawing of what Theo can only assume is a stick figure version of himself reacting to the drawing of Snoopy. Big, mean frown on his face. There’s a thought bubble above his misshapen head that reads, “bah humbug!” Actually half-decent. The drawings, not Deaton’s busy work. He tucks them away in his glove box instead of tossing anything in the trash this time.

-So you’re stalking me

He would try to narrow down who his anonymous gifter could be, but that would require conceding interest in this whole charade. Which he lacks entirely. Really. Even though Stiles’s increasingly irate pack chat rants about the slow return of his stolen dry erase markers sparks a special kind of holiday joy in him.

-nah I’m secret santa-ing you

-so do you like the gift?

-have you ever even seen a charlie brown christmas

He pauses, pulls the Snoopy sticky note out of the glovebox as if to jog his memory. As if his memory is even a trustworthy thing past a certain point.

-Yeah I think so

-A long time ago

Like, before he started keeping a tally of every day. Like when days were just new wakeups and not milestones. That long ago.

-“I think so”

-geez

-you really are scrooge

-I’ve got some work to do huh

-Guess so

❅❆❄

Okay. Fine. He knows his secret santa is Liam. Whatever. It was basic deduction—no effort involved whatsoever.

He knows because the last pack meeting was held at Liam’s place. Liam’s living room has been cannibalized by a massive, gaudy christmas tree adorned with tinsel, sparkly garland, rainbow lights, and ornaments galore. And candy canes. The same pinkish white striped kind that Theo chucked away a few days ago.

So he stole one, just to check. Sidled up close to the tree like he was admiring the lights, snatched a candy cane when no one was looking and hid it away in his jeans pocket.

Plus, not like Theo was chasing a hunch or anything, when Mason asked Liam for a sticky note to jot down the name of a bestiary to research, Liam returned with a green post-it. Same lime-y shade as the ones still in Theo’s glove box.

And then, not like he needed any further confirmation, but he just so happened to text his secret santa—what’s in store for me today?—right as Liam slipped out to the bathroom, leaving his phone behind. It chimed.

So, it was that easy.

The only thing that makes him second-guess his suspicion is that his gift is sitting on the roof of his truck when he leaves the pack meeting, which, unless Liam has mastered the art of self-replication or enlisted someone else to assist, would kind of be impossible to do on his own.

Whatever. Theory still stands until proven otherwise.

The gift is a ziploc bag that contains a green cat’s eye marble, an oblong, striated rock, a silver dollar, and a flattened wildflower with crisp, browning petals that crumble when he touches them. It’s not until hours after the pack meeting that Theo gets a response to his initial text.

-dude

-for a scrooge you sure are invested in trying to blow my cover

-anyway, day 4: cool stuff I found in the woods!

He puts the bag away with the sticky notes and the pilfered candy cane. His glove compartment is becoming a secret santa shrine.

-You should’ve spread these out as multiple gifts

-shit

-you’re right

❅❆❄

Theo cracks that night. Cat, curiosity. He nabs the candy cane from his glovebox, unwraps it, and gives it one tentative lick.

Strawberry.

❅❆❄

-snow is so cold

-the sky is blue

-this is your 5th gift

-how did I do?

-I don’t think you’re a future poet laureate if that’s what you’re asking

❅❆❄

On his sixth day of driving Stiles crazy, Theo drops a sky blue marker off on the Stilinski household’s doorstep sans cap. Halfway through all 12 days and, as much fun as Theo’s having being the worst secret santa ever, the marker drops are beginning to feel a bit pedestrian.

In an unfortunate turn of events, the texts from his own secret santa have become a highlight of the increasingly bleak and banal California winter.

December break has been hard. He wakes up. He goes to the rec center to work out and shower instead of school because the building is closed. He drops off a “gift” for Stiles. He works a shift at Deaton’s and loiters until he can’t find any other excuses to stick around. He kills time at the library. He sleeps in shifts, moves his truck around town a couple times a night so as not to rouse suspicion from Beacon Hills’s finest parking enforcement officers.

And amidst it all, he waits for Liam to text.

-happy day 6

-today’s gift is pro bono advice

-consider me your sounding board

-your oracle

-your magic conch shell

-And you think I need your advice why?

Doesn’t mean he won’t be an ass about it.

-theo come on

-I am trying my best here but you are making this so hard

-I’m kidding

-Sorry

-you’re not but ok

-Whatever

-I’ll take your stupid advice

-I’m all ears

-If I wanted to hypothetically annoy the shit out of the recipient of my secret santa gifts

-And those gifts were hypothetically items I hypothetically stole from said recipient

-And I had hypothetically been returning those items in the most annoying way possible

-How do I make it even more annoying?

-oh my god

-unhypothetically stiles is going to kill you

-He can try

Theo waits as Liam’s little text bubble appears, disappears. Pops up again. Lingers. Until, finally—

-ok here’s what you could do

-switch all the caps so they’re different colors

-and scratch the logo off the outside so everything is blank and it’s a mystery which color is which

-Meh

-well ok then mr. degeneracy

-you could return the caps and markers on separate days

-Did that already

-oh or make it a really stupid scavenger hunt so that he has to find the markers and/or caps himself

-bonus points if you write the clues in the marker color that he’s looking for

-Huh

-That’s more like it

-this doesn’t make me an accomplice tho

-got it?

-Wouldn’t give you credit even if you wanted it

-gee thanks

-I thought evil plots were supposed to be my thing anyway

-lol

-if you were actually any good at them we wouldn’t be having this conversation rn

❅❆❄

-whats one thing you wanted for xmas as a kid that you never got

The message comes just after midnight. Theo imagines Liam on the other side of town thinking about him. Squinting past the glare of his phone screen in a dark room while Theo does the same from his truck.

-Why

Theo doesn’t want to think about this. He considers replying some peace and fucking quiet or its meaner alternative, for you to leave me alone, but thinks he might have worn out his be-an-asshole-and-then-say-jk privileges by now.

-just curious

Earlier today—yesterday technically, whatever—there was a holiday crafting event in the library’s children’s literature section. Tables of kids and their parents cutting snowflakes out of paper and drowning the end result in Elmer’s glue and glitter. Theo never learned how to do the snowflake thing as a child but standing there watching kids haphazardly snip away at folded sheets of paper and unfurl their creations, he almost wanted to.

This time of year makes him feel like that. The snipped-away thing. All those discarded paper trimmings.

-helloooo

-fine, I’ll start

-I wanted a razor scooter so bad but my mom was convinced I was gonna fall off and crack my head open or knock all my teeth out

-joke’s on her bc only time I ever chipped a tooth or got a head injury was playing lacrosse

If Theo gave a shit about the secret santa rules, he would chide Liam on that slip-up. He’s not even trying to keep his identity a secret anymore.

-ok now your turn

That first Christmas with the Dread Doctors—

It sounds ridiculous that way. The Surgeon, The Geneticist, The Pathologist and Theo huddled around a Christmas tree or something. Rainbow string lights in the operating theater and fruit cake in the specimen fridge. Der Soldat’s tube adorned with a wreath.

—Day 86 of his new life. He remembers having a Christmas list. They took out his heart but didn’t take the naivete and want out of him. There was a book on it, the list. Probably toys too, but if he thinks too hard about those he might remember that he really was a kid then. Was a kid, period.

-Do you remember those books

-They had white covers and like a collage of pictures of whatever subject the book was about on the front

-There was one for pretty much any topic you could think of

-yeah I think so

-hold on

There’s that text bubble again. Headlights cascade across the truck’s interior as a car passes by and carries on farther down the road.

-DK eyewitness?

-Yeah. They had a book about outer space

-I wanted that I guess

-of course you’d want a textbook for xmas

-nerd

Snip, snip, snip.

-Is today’s gift you annoying the fuck out of me?

Sometimes Theo makes the mistake of forgetting why they’re talking to each other. For the next five days he’ll remain an obligation. After that, an afterthought.

More empty roads. Early sunsets. Winter dark.

-I was joking

-I’m sorry

-I used to read those…had one about dinosaurs, one about ancient egypt + another about medieval weapons

-oh and one about sharks

-they were awesome

-Rule 1

He says it to reinstate distance between them more than anything.

-yeah yeah whatever

-every kid read those books, that hardly counts as identifying information

-anyway today’s gift is an IOU to be redeemed @ any point in the next 365 days

-No exceptions?

-uh yeah exceptions?? are you crazy

-no murder

-or like crime of any kind

-and it can’t cost $$$

-Shitty IOU

-well sometimes you get a candy cane in your stocking

-sometimes you get a lump of coal

-merry christmas dirtbag

-and goodnight

❅❆❄

Theo has long since learned his lesson about opening random, unprompted links—thanks, Scott—so when day eight’s gift comes in the form of a dropbox URL, he pointedly ignores it.

For a while. Until a follow-up message from his secret santa comes through, that is.

-so…did you open it?

-Nope

-dude come on

-I’m actually excited about this one

-I think you’ll like it

Okay. Fine. Consider his interest piqued. He clicks the stupid link to the stupid dropbox and what he finds is a movie library. Christmas movie library.

He fights back an eyeroll before remembering Liam can’t see his exasperation, and opts to lose the battle anyway.

-Movies?

-a charlie brown christmas!

-and a few of my other favorite Christmas movies

-the old kind of uncanny valley claymation ones

-Not in the mood

-Christmas is in four days how could you not be in the mood

-I personally pirated these for you

-show some appreciation

Liam follows up the message with a gif of Charlie Brown decorating a Christmas tree.

-you after your movie marathon

-Bald?

-lmao shut up and enjoy your movies, mr. grinch

❅❆❄

Theo watches all three hours of pirated Christmas specials because he’s awake when nothing else is. Consumes the world in reds and greens and whites and blues. Felted snow and stop motion. He figures the movies might bore him to sleep, at least, but afterward he’s tired in a new way.

Could sleep for days. Could sleep right through Christmas. Wouldn’t be so bad, he thinks.

Wouldn’t miss much.

❅❆❄

It’s not like Theo sits around waiting all day for his secret santa to text him, but not hearing anything by nearly 11:00 p.m. is out of the ordinary, to say the least.

So Theo takes a page out of Liam’s his secret santa’s book.

-Sooo

-Day 9?

-sorry, I didn’t forget

-just haven’t figured anything out yet

-shit idk man thinking of 12 free gifts is hard

-you like hugs? need one?

-**to be redeemed at a later date**

-Forget I asked

-ok how about this

-your 9th gift is a free vent sesh, get something off your chest

-judgement free zone over here I stg

-I’m good

-cmon there’s gotta be something you feel like bitching about

-you’re you

-regrets, shit that’s bothering you, pet peeves or whatever

His fingers stutter against the keys and then revoke themselves. He’s the source of the appearing and disappearing text bubble this time. Almost sent you’re bothering me, because it's right there, cheap and easy and more in character for him than being honest—doesn’t go against his personal credo of “keep everyone at arm’s length.”

-don’t leave me hanging

-you’re making me feel like a shitty gift giver

-You don’t have to give me anything

-Seriously I don’t care

-I didn’t want to do the secret santa thing anyway

-I don’t think I’ve gotten a christmas gift since I was like 7

-lol

-dude

So much for arm’s length.

Liam’s typing, and typing, and typing, and Theo figures he doesn’t know what to say just as much as Theo doesn’t know how to make this admission not a big thing.

Maybe a “jk” would help.

-I’m sorry

And then Liam’s back to his magic trick of the appearing and disappearing text bubble while Theo considers tossing his phone out his window and reversing over it.

His participation was a misstep. The pack’s secret santa gimmick is a contagion that creates the illusion of temporary closeness. The one-sided anonymity afforded by the game will only last a few more days but after that Liam will still know more about the past ten years of his life than Theo has ever cared to deliberately divulge. The thought of that makes him itch.

So he’s gotta nip this shit in the bud before Liam can say anything else about it.

-I’m cashing in my IOU

-ok?

-what for

-For you to drop this

-The whole secret santa thing

-No more days

An answer doesn’t come for a long time.

-fine.

But when it does, Theo isn’t sure that what he feels is relief.

❅❆❄

“Someone dropped these off for you,” Deaton says in lieu of a greeting when Theo shows up for his opening shift.

On the counter in front of him is a saran wrapped paper plate of cookies. Upon closer inspection, they’re studded with red and green M&Ms and topped with white, snowflake-shaped sprinkles that match the pattern on the plate. There’s a green sticky note slapped on top. “For Theo,” it reads. “Not getting rid of me that easily.” Next to the cookies is a thermos with another sticky note. This one says "Drink me!”

His shift’s early. 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday. Theo should be bothered that Liam is ignoring his IOU but can’t help but be impressed by the commitment. What he has grown to have the most faith in is the fact that people will inevitably grow tired of him and deem him not worth the effort.

He keeps biting. Liam keeps reaching out a hand anyway. Theo’s trying not to feel weird about it.

Deaton clears his throat.

Theo plays dumb. Asks, “Who?”

“I didn’t happen to see them.”

But the faint smirk on Deaton’s face says otherwise.

“Mystery cookies and a mystery beverage from a mystery person,” he huffs. “I’ll pass. Could be poisoned.”

Deaton quirks a brow. “Unlikely. But there’s only one way to find out.”

He pushes the gifts toward Theo.

“I’ll be in the back. Take your time.”

Theo spends the first fifteen minutes of his shift getting sated on christmas cookies and thick hot chocolate—still warm.

The rest of the day plods on without a word from Liam. Theo doesn’t blame him.

He spends a lot of time thinking about those M&Ms on top of the cookies, though. Each one evenly spaced from the rest, pressed down ever so slightly into the crests of the cookies. Alternating reds and greens. Imagines Liam taking the time to place each one.

Theo tries not to feel weird about it.

❅❆❄

Nothing’s ever open on Christmas Eve. Just malls and grocery stores. Theo is in the canned goods aisle running his fingers against the ridges of a can of pineapple rings, soaking up socialization by proxy, when the texts come in.

-hey

-so it’s day 11

-we’re almost done with this, just bear with me here

-today’s gift is 11 affirmations

-#1: you’re really smart

Theo gives up on feigning interest in shelf-stable goods. He commandeers the endcap—there’s a special on Spam, if anyone’s interested—and has to fight back an audible groan.

-Stop

-This is the same as day 1

-And I told you I’m done with this

-dude no it isn’t

-just let me do this

-#2: you’re weirdly good at keeping those white sneakers of yours clean

#3: you’re actually a lot of help when you want to be

-so i’m glad to have you on our side

-I’m going to block you

-for once can you not be an asshole

-this is your gift and it can’t possibly be more unbearable for you than it is for me

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Theo won’t wait around to find out.

Block this Caller.

Blocking the number is a gift for both of them. Liam probably wouldn’t even be able to come up with 9 more nice things to say about him anyway. It’s fine. Today’s basically the last day of the secret santa bullshit before tomorrow’s “reveal” at the pack Christmas party anyway. He can text Theo from his actual phone number if he wants.

If he wants.

But the rest of the day drags by in isolation. Theo almost misses the desperate clamor of the grocery store. No follow-up messages from his secret santa via a new text app number. No reprimand from Scott. Not even a group chat bitchfit from Stiles about today’s marker scavenger hunt that led him into the preserve to excavate a marker that Theo cut the tip off of. Just an all-around silence.

Guess it’s a Christmas miracle.

❅❆❄

The only thing that gets Theo to the pack Christmas party at Scott’s is the satisfaction of being able to hand Stiles his last marker in person.

Except it’s not the last marker, because Theo has decided to keep that one—bold red, pristine chisel tip—for himself. Instead, Stiles will get a dingy yellow highlighter from the bottom of Theo’s backpack. The moldy cherry on top of a shit sundae.

But before Theo can make it up the driveway and to the front door, he’s promptly dragged away from Scott’s front door and forced over to the side of the house by Liam.

“Hi,” he greets, demeanor somewhere between annoyed and hesitant. He’s got one arm angled behind his back, keeping something out of Theo’s line of sight.

“Liam,” Theo says, feigning surprise that definitely falls short of convincing. “Hey.”

“Look, I know you knew it was me the whole time. Your secret santa.”

“Maybe.”

“Texting me during that pack meeting was a dick move and you know it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s what I did to piss you off most over the past twelve days,” Theo retorts. It’s almost an apology for his nearly two weeks of assholery. Almost.

Liam exhales an almost-laugh in return. “About that. Without everyone around, I just wanted to—here.”

He shoves the hidden thing into Theo’s grasp.

“Your last gift.”

It’s a book. White cover, a collage of planets and satellites and stars across the front. DK Eyewitness logo and UNIVERSE emblazoned across the top in orange letters.

The book.

Theo gets this kind of gutted, breathless feeling. Keeps turning the book over in his hands, running his fingers along the pages, like he expects it to disappear if he looks away for too long. He wants to write his name on the inside. Thinks he might.

“We weren’t supposed to spend any money,” he says.

It’s dumb, but it’s the only thing he can vocalize without losing his composure. Something’s clogging his throat. Gratitude and guilt. Almost ten years of wanting.

“It was like five bucks. Don’t worry about it,” Liam shrugs, small and unsure.

Inside the front cover Theo finds a green sticky note.

Merry Christmas.

“I wasn’t sure if this was the one you were talking about,” Liam says, voice laden with a preemptive apology. “I googled it and they have a bunch of different space-related books. Planets, and stars, and astronomy, and even space exploration. Figured ‘the universe’ kinda covered all of that.”

It’s embarrassing, the way Theo’s voice gets all tight when he stammers out, “It’s, uh—yeah. This is it. Thank you.”

Liam exhales, long and relieved. He rocks back on his heels. It feels like he’s staring not just at Theo but into him when he says, “This can be a shitty time of year for a lot of people. For a lot of reasons. You don’t, um. You don’t have to carry that weight into the new year, you know.”

Theo thinks of gray December. Empty roads. Cold nights.

Liam drags his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes flitting from the book to Theo. Adds, “At least, not all by yourself.”

❅❆❄

Liam Dunbar:

-so…

-you got plans for NYE?

-asking for a friend

-I’ll check my schedule

❅❆❄

On the 3,287 day of his life, Theo stops counting.