#silly little fucked up bard man

[and-i-said-fewer]

FINALLY GETTING MY HANDS ON BLOOD ORIGIN YEAHHHHHHH

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 107

"Darling" and "Dear" can be written away as him being gay, a bard, and british From Lettenhove, Geralt assures himself one late night, early into traveling with Jaskier. "Dearest" and "Dearheart" make sense. Geralt muses one late night, after a few years of traveling with Jaskier. Jaskier has said before that Geralt's his best friend, they travel together constantly, nearly all of Jaskier's songs are about him, it makes sense to mean this much. "Sweeting" "Honey" "Sweetheart" are confusing, and Geralt doesn't understand. It's been more years with Jaskier, and more and more names keep appearing, but these ones do nothing but confuse and vex him. Those are usually used for romantic partners, aren't they? Does Jaskier mean them in a teasing manner? "My love" Jaskier calls him this one night, and Geralt.... Geralt panics. He mumbles something stupid and practically books it into the woods to think. He worries for how it'd appear to poor Jaskier, but he can't help but need a few minutes to process it. Love? My love? Does Jaskier really see him so fondly?

If Geralt marches back there and snogs the life out of him, is it too soon?

[teatitty]

I feel like people don't appreciate enough that Dandelion is a fast slippery little fucker. Granted we don't see this much since the books are heavily Geralt POV, but it's mentioned that a lot of his dalliances involve him scaling up houses, jumping out of windows, sliding down drainpipes, running along rooftops etc and that is hard as fuck to do

He's basically committing AssCreed level parkour and is able to outrun almost anyone who comes after him. When he's not travelling with Geralt, he has to be able to get out of trouble by himself somehow and since he's not a fighter that means being good at running, hiding and talking

Not only this but in Last Wish, as someone pointed out on my posts once, it's shown that when riding his horse, he can effortlessly lift one leg to hook over the pommel of his saddle while playing his lute at the same time the horse is moving. That's a lot of skill and balance and knowing your own horse's temperment and what they're willing to put up with. He's not just a casual rider he's an experienced rider pulling off shit that you'd only see from pros

Idk man it's just a little irritating how often he's reduced to "horny silly bard" when he has these skills under his belt too and is obviously capable of keeping up with hunting parties and actual warriors without much issue ya know?

[ad-astrah]

Finally Watched Cinderella's Castle Digital Ticket (Twice) and I Gotta Get My Feelings Out Somewhere, Somehow (Part I)

Feel free to light up my DMs to chat about it!

And now, for my personal highlights/live reactions:

immediately I'm drawn in by Nick Lang's silly narrator voice and the way he warns us of what's coming. Especially the "muRrrDder!"

Jeff Blim cut his hair. JEFF BLIM CUT HIS HAIR. Not that I didn't like the long locks, but something about his Aladdin Era short hair gets me, man.

Jeff Blim literally getting to own the stage like the man was born to

Jeff Blim's slutty bard getup with the artfully messy hair and the heavy guyliner. That sinful bastard.

"Let's go." I'll follow you anyway, slutty bard.

Okay 80s rock jam! Hell yes.

idk why but I just love the line "There are tales in those walls, are they true or are they tall?"

THIS SET, THO. 80s vibes. Muppets vibes. Princess Bride vibes. Spooky, ethereal fairytale vibes. I love it! Props to the team who designed and built it.

prance, slutty bard boy, prance around that stage.

Jesus Fuck, I've only seen Joey's puppet but I'm already SOLD. Nick and Matt Lang and whoever else had a hand in making these puppets fucking OUTDID themselves! Did they use the Black Book and resurrect Jim Henson?

Throughout the show, the muppet vibes just absolutely amaze and delight me. Makes me feel like a little kid, spellbound by this fairytale. Except it's much darker, more gruesome, way more explicit, and extremely horny.

Oh look, it's Joey's Jingle/Jangle (whichever elf he was) voice from Black Friday.

Love me some o' dat non-binary representation from Ragweed. Starkid once again screaming GAY RIGHTS bitches.

I'm getting some of Jeff's Aragog from AVPS in this Narrator. Anyone else?

Stupid STUPID butcher!

Jon Matteson's accent. *giggles madly*

Angela IMMEDIATELY having to pause for applause before she finishes her first freaking line. The queen deserves it all, though.

The foreshadowing of the Stepmother cutting off Ella's feet. O_O

"It's furryyyyy and fouuuuul and full o' maGOTTTSSaaaaaggghhhh!"

Angela doing the little spinny finger thing in a guy's face to fluster them just like Max did to her character in Nerdy Prudes. I love these physical running gags. My fave being the Smoke Club, though.

OIIIINK oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink

Sir Preston asking for help from the audience. His "ELLAaaaaa....nooooo....."

The lighting in this entire show is SO COOL.

Again, Jeff just louging like a whore about the set like its his bitch. I live for it.

James' COSTUME. He looks SO FUCKING GOOD. Props to the costume folks...and to James' rockin' genes.

"But nothing compares to the juice and the hairs..." Oh no. Ohhhhh no I see where this is going. Don't say it, James, don't-- omg he said it.

er ee er ee er ee *window rolling down*

I thought the Prince drawing bewbies on the frosty window was funny already, and then he goes WAH WAH WAH and pretends to pinch them and I fucking lost it.

The Prince checkin' out DAT AZZZZZZ XD

"I'd wager she's wetter now than when I first found her bobbing in the river." OH MY GOD. PRINCE. THAT'S HER NOT-MOM.

If his highness has had every STD and beaten it, that's so fucked up but also damn, that boy's immune system is killin' it. Literally.

"Poor mad EllaAH"

"This is one thirsty FUCKING house." For real, omg.

"The offer stands firm. Come calling if you are!" *screams*

Jeff miming being crew and pulling the ropes for the curtains.

*audience member sneezes* "Bless you."

Angela's diction is next fucking level. PUNY. PINK. KIND.

The epic troll reveal! The puppets are SO GOOD.

THE FROG FUCKING TURNING AWAY AS SHE ASKED FOR IT TO DO SO SHE COULD KILL IT. CHRIST.

This bayou boogie song of Ella's is an absolute KILLER BOP. Holy shit. And it's SO perfect for Bryce's funky, sassy voice.

Speaking of which, BRYCE'S VOCALS. I'm gonna scream about them for forever and ever and ever. I love her voice SO FUCKING MUCH. I could listen to nothing else for the rest of my days and die a happy little gay.

"ohhhh woah woah waohhh" *flips the bird* She's such a queen for that.

"It needs oregano" WORK BITCH

Bryce's stage presence is fucking INSANE. I dunno how she's not on Broadway, but thank goodness we got her!

SIRE MANY TADPOLES!

GOD I love this absolutely depraved, horny little bastard of a prince.

It's amazing Tadeus hasn't murdered the prince yet. The man deserves a medal for the literal shit he's put up with.

Bugette?! I thought you choked on shit died and were consumed by the Hive Queen?

Rancilda being a typical troll and loving lurking under bridges and telling riddles.

Schuyler Sister vibes from the song with Justine and Lucy. So cute.

Justine and Lucy are SUCH real ones for IMMEDIATELY believing Ella about her family being trolls and for saying "fuck the ball, we're leaving NOW."

Shake dat ass, Mariah!

Lauren's physical comedy as Rancilda is NEXT LEVEL. I'm wheezing over here!

iSNn'tT it A BiiIItTcH?!

I LOOK GOOD IN THIS. What an absolute fucking BANGER. This song is gonna play in my head on repeat for the next decade. What a next level villain song.

Also this gives me some strongass Joan Jett vibes. "I love wearin' the skin of dead girls rock 'n' roll!"

and I hEEeaARr yoU'Re RiiiCCHhH

Seriously, is this the next Top Chart breakup revenge song? It should be.

"I really LIKE that song!" XD Putrice. I love how much of an absolute BIMBO she is.

Rancilda singing the song again. "SHUT UP STUPID BITCH, THE SONG'S OVER." "Okaaaaiiii"

Matt Dahan's ability to riff off the main songs and create motifs is otherworldly.

General MacNamara? Is that you?! Oh wait, nope. Still my slutty, slutty bard.

I LOOOOOOOVE this badass electric guitar intro, holy shit.

Kim Whalen, the queen, getting the bitchin' entrance she deserves.

Starkid is so, so good at their sound design to help immerse you in a scene without blowing a big budget or doing anything elaborate.

...Kim. My girl. Your arms must be tired.

She's just standing there, but Kim's stage presence is still so strong.

I can't get over how Jon's Sir Hops-A-Lot's voice is just a small...ahem. Hop, skip, and a jump away from Wiggly's.

JOEY. THAT ACCENT. You ABSOLUTE genius idiot. I love you for this stupidass voice.

Joey's bowl cut makes me giggle like mad.

I love these two puppets SO much.

GIT IT, KIM.

The call and response bit with Ella and the Goddess reminds me of Hamilton when Washington is dictating his Farewell Address. I know it's gotta be in other musicals, too, but that's the clearest comparison for this nerd at the moment.

Jeff sneaking in the "castle on a hill" song reference in this song.

Kim and Bryce dueting together is just Power incarnate. Holy cow. It's so good.

"You shall be as radiant and terrible as I." Ooooooh. Yes. Gimme.

The Narrator sneaking out from amidst the ensemble to finish off the song was really neat.

That fading spotlight before curtain for intermission with just Ella's face in view is so beautiful and haunting. What an epic close to Act I.

Also, it seems like this was also a strategic way to imply Ella's outfit being transformed there on stage during the song without actually having to do the tricky costume designing quick-change theater miracles of an ACTUAL outfit transformation. Which is really brilliant. Leave the audience to wonder until post-intermission about what Ella's starlight dress will look like.

[wordy-little-witch]

I am now hip deep in the Edge of Midnight campaign from legends of avantris and lemme tell you some shit -

1) I would lay down my life for Jericho Sticks without any hesitation. Torbek and Jericho are my sons now, no takesies backsies.

2) Lethica and Marius are so perfectly aligned to be end game lovers but I personally adore the idea of them being queerplatonic if only bc it's funny to watch people be confused and I think Lethica would adore that.

3) you can pry the concept of Briggsy having a some kind of magical fantasy cellphone equivalent from my cold dead hands - sending stone or smth idfk - and he's been keeping his buddy/boyfriend Torbek updated on all this like "Becky you would not BELIEVE what happened today-" ((listen I know the flirting bit between them in the yuletide one-shot was a feycurse but leave me alone it's funny as fuck))

4) briggsy @ jericho in ep 24 appropos nothing: Jerry, maybe we have to kiss ((sad, silly twinks with Literal Darksides are his type /j))

5) I have a friend-crush on Nikkie and I will never recover

6) I have an unyielding NEED to have Jericho get a final hit on a boss and yell yeehaw

7) I know stylistically Jericho doesn't have "skin" but I personally hc that his clothes aren't effectively his skin, he has a burlap body - and he has "tattoos" in the form of embroidery. It started when he had to stitch up his own cuts and stuff and he just kept it up.

8) Only Yorgrim has any constant sense of cooking in an actual kitchen-like setting. Farryn, Marius, and Briggsy can do journey or on-the-road cooking, but it's never.... great. Lethica burns everything somehow or gets the bright idea to 'experiment', and it's never good - she's fine if she's got clear end goals. Jericho is understandably skittish around fire due to his body and straw, but he is the closest to being able to cook well and do so semi regularly.

9) Virgil is a weird mix of a hater and lowkey overprotective. He does hate being imprisoned, but also he's kinda bound here so he HAS to keep this disaster of a bard safe. He refuses to admit he might have a soft spot. He is Stressed.

10) Farryn doesn't get the appeal of Girls Nights, but Jericho does!!! They join Lethica for some fun relaxation. Briggsy once asked why Jericho was allowed since he's also a dude, and Lethica just responded "he's allowed to be there - on account of him being a scarecrow and not a literal man after all." It's an inside joke which later has to be explained - Jericho is nonbinary but doesn't rightly care about stuff like that.

11) Yorgrim is the group dad, no I will not explain.

12) sometimes after a battle, Lethica and Marius will help stitch up some of Jericho's tears. Farryn may also add in random flowers she finds around because it makes him happy.

13) Briggsy is small but mighty. The only person he has yet to pick up and carry is Yorgrim - he swears that one day that tombstone will be gone and he'll be able to do it. It's all the rock's fault, he's sure of it.

Spoilers under the cut (caught up to present)

OKAY so I am caught up completely and have decided that Canon is not important leave me alone

• Yorgrim did not die - he got wounded heavily but survived.

• Farryn almost got taken but they got to her in time. She is mute for a time due to injuries and trauma - idk if she ever talks again bc we could use more sign language in the world. Maybe it comes and goes, fuck if I know, idk and idc

ONWARDS TO SILLIES

• Lethica strong armed her way into giving Jericho The Talk after he revealed he had no idea what a penis was. Scarecrows cannot blush, but apparently his fiendish glow can ebb and flow and he glows much MUCH brighter when he's embarrassed - she tries so hard not to laugh.

• Adella and Jericho btw are simply besties. His "crush" on her is a friend crush and Phillip just finds it painfully cute. ((Also -> Jericho has mommy issues and Adella always wanted a son/nephew/little brother. Peaceful alignment))

• Dark Mode Marius is a colossal flirt but still a giant dweeb. He's cool and suave until someone flirts back - then he's a mess.

• Briggsy is very happy with his Kannon & makes "shooting my shot" jokes at every and any opportunity

• Yorgrim, with his reward, manages to finally lay many souls tonrest but he still carries the tombstone on journeys - just not constantly now. He still believes he must pay penance, but it's a little easier to share the burden.

• Farryn, with her own reward, has not chosen to activate it yet. Something tells her to wait, to bide her time and remain. She does, however, get a little more at ease with the others. She and Jericho have come to an understanding, too - that being they they are a package deal, no takesies backsies, and they refer to each other as twin, much to the confusion of many, many, many people. WLW and NBLM solidarity.

• Jericho is pining HARD for Marius, but he's absolutely terrified of damaging the friendship so everyone is watching two oblivious dummies look longingly into each other.

• POLYAMORY POLYAMORY POLYAMORY

• Marius grows rather fond of Virgil, and the sentiment is very much NOT reciprocated bc this angry knight vampire is not good enough for his vessel and he's mad about it.

• Yorgrim: I've only had my friends for a few days, but if anything happened to them, I'd kill everyone in Druskenvald and then myself.

• I fully expect for Jericho to somehow befriend an enemy in disguise, not realize, and accidentally fuck up the evil plan with the powers of puns, music and friendship (/j)

• the first time the party sees Jericho presenting more feminine, he's been lended one of Lethica's dresses after his own clothes got torn up and the rest are being washed. Marius has a nosebleed and faints. Briggsy is staring somewhat respectfully. Lethica is trying valiantly not to laugh. Farryn and Yorgrim regret not dying when they had the chance.

• Marius: i cannot have a relationship because I have sworn to follow the duchess of sin

Lillith: whoa hold up, Do Not use me as an excuse to avoid the cutie pie over there. Besides, he has a demon. I'm queen of hell. I can make a small exception.

Marius: shit

• Briggsy Bi Icon: OH if ONLY Jerry here had a DASHING KNIGHT to SAVE THEM from this PERILOUS INCIDENT

Jericho: captain, I'm just getting off of a horse??

Marius: no no Briggsy has a point, no maiden should be unaccompanied or unassisted. Allow me-

Lethica&Farryn: We Know What You Are

• Yorgrim is watching all this inter party flirting and is definitely wondering if he's gonna have to have an aside with everyone about flirting tactics and communication skills. Briggsy is making it worse by enabling everyone.

• Farryn gets some sweet, succulent healing, that is all.

[artistsfuneral]

T4T4T Geraskefer, Jaskier holding down Geralt who's begging Yenn to be gentle while she fucks cum even further into him with the clear intent to make him pass out

Geralt being so big and strong that it takes both of his lovers to hold him down, to make him feel secure after a long, exhausting contract. Yennefer has to pin him down by the hips, digging her nails into his soft skin so he doesn't buck her off by accident when she hits that spot inside of him again and again, making Geralt gasp and shiver, convulse under her.

Yennefer'd call him her good boy, praise him for being her little dumb witcher. Such a silly man, thinking he needs to be big and strong when all he really needs to do is lie there, look pretty and just take her.

Jaskier holds him down by the shoulders, stops him from leaning up and grasp at Yennefer in a desperate attempt to clutch at her. The bard never stops whispering a constant stream of soft praises and even softer live declarations into Geralt's ears. While he's still coherent enough, he makes up little poems that worship his two loves, words falling from his lips, honey-sweet and addicting.

But Jaskier has the bad habit of grinding himself against the nearest surface. Yennefer allows it, because her little bard never manages to get himself to completion like that, not without his lovers' guidance, but it gets his little cock so beautifully hard and sensitive, makes him lose his mind until he's just as much a blabbering, mewling mess as Geralt is.

prompt list

[crazylittlejester]

Hio Hio!!! Hope you’ve been well!! ^-^

I love thinking about “Wars isn’t canon” aus, but instead of him never existing at all, he DID exist as a hero and even met the chain but one day disappears because oops! He got retconned! And I love thinking of the chain ending up back in his Hyrule and finding him as a whole other person, either a tailor or a baker-

My personal favourite is them finding him as a bard in a tavern, playing an adjusted version of Piano Man, and realizing that the ppl Wars surrounds himself with are actually very similar to them. And while they’re sad to lose him as a fellow hero, they’re happy to see that he’s happy and has a new family that looks out for him :)

It’s just a silly little thing but I cradle it close to my heart and love imagining it whenever I listen to Piano Man

I SHOULD NOT HAVE LAUGHED BUT PIANO MAN TOOK ME THE FUCK OUT THATS INCREDIBLE, IM OBSESSED WITH THIS OH MY GOD /pos

I love the idea that everyone but the chain forgets him, like their memories of him are the only indication the ‘Hero of Warriors’ existed at all because the timeline got messed up and rewritten, but Wars the PERSON didn’t get erased, he’d just living the life he WOULD have had he not been pulled into the war and for some reason has faint memories of a different life

oh- oh god damn it i have to do a writing exercise about this now dont i…

well now i know what I’m doing tonight

[decarabiandivorce]

less silly doodle for the wispi healing scene also :]

YES YES YES

Venti is sooo so small from the amount of magic he lost. I wonder if he knows how close he was to an actual death. He just wants to see his friend again. He just wants to know his friend is there when everyone else in old mond refuses to talk about him.

And NB!!!! he is CRYING!!!! His friend almost died (because of him. This was his fault. If he was better. If he escaped. If he never got caught. If he was more defiant and-). Venti is so small in his hands. So fragile like the butterflies in legends. He dosent care he had to practically beg for the tyrant's help. It dosent matter to him as long as his closest companion is safe.

He missed Venti so much. He missed having someone to confied him. A spark of hope to get him through the day. He missed smiling at the little guy. He missed everyone so so so much and..

And Venti was in this condition because of him....

The bard can no longer form words as his body shakes with emotions. He is never letting Venti go. Not again. He can't do this alone. He needs his starlight.

All while Deca is Being A Dad. UGH. I NEED TO THROW A BRICK AT THIS MAN. HOW DARE HE BE SOMEWHAT CAREING. The source behind all such conflict in NB's life has been nothing but a saint in the time he spent in this tower. To sacrifice some of his own magic to heal his son's companion... AND BRUSHING THE TOP OF HIS HEAD!!! IM ILL IM SO FUCKING ILLL IM GOING TO THROW UP (AFFECTIONATE) (IN PAIN) (AFFECTIONATE)

Im not NORMAL. IM CRAZY. THE JOKER!!!! IM GOING TO BLOW UP A BRIDGE BECAUSE OF THIS. IM *EXPLODES*

..

Im so normal :) NB is happy and that makes his papa happy :) everything is fine and hey! Deca got +1 family :) everything is going up and the lord of storms is winning this war

[wren-of-the-woods]

I hear you're where to go for Witcher fic recs! How about some with Geralt being protective over Jaskier? Shippy, if you can find any, but I wouldn't mind platonic! I just want Geralt to look out for his bard. Thank you for your time!

Hello!! Here's what I've got! There's a wide variety of settings and levels of angst, so hopefully there should be something for everone :D

As always, please feel free to add more recs or promote your own work in the notes!

~

Don't Leave Me by @geraskierficrecs (Rated M, 6.2k)

Jaskier’s hands tighten around Geralt before slowly losing their grip, spasming where they fall limp. “Ger--geralt--” “Don’t you dare,” he snarls back, “Don’t you dare try to give me your fucking goodbyes. You are not dying.” “S--silly man.” Jaskier’s smile is full of painful fondness. “Would you fight death for me?” Geralt swings him up into his arms and nearly weeps at the sound of familiar hooves running in his direction. “Every. Fucking. Time.”

If You Give a Bard a Lute by @ghostinthelibrarywrites (Rated T, 10k)

After Jaskier’s father disowns him, confiscates all his possessions— including Filavandrel’s lute— and kicks him out with nothing but the clothes on his back, Jaskier spends a long, hungry winter barely surviving. When he reunites with Geralt in the spring, his witcher is determined to get his lute back, even if it means recruiting his fellow witchers to stage a heist.

Wild Blue Yonder by @jaskierswolf (Rated T, 5.3k)

Geralt's bookshop is slowly falling apart and he's ready to give up when Jaskier wanders into the store

remember me I sing by @echo-bleu (Rated G, 3.1k - also includes Yennnefer)

Filavandrel's gift was so much more than a simple lute. It seemed fitting, that Jaskier’s soul would be made of wood and strings and beautiful sounds. The problem is that now Rience has his lute and is threatening to burn it if they don't hand over Ciri. And Jaskier has never told anyone that his very life is tied to his beloved instrument.

This Is How I Disappear by @stacyholmes (Rated T, 5.4k)

Jaskier keeps texting unknown number. Geralt keeps reading said texts without answering.

The Footsteps We Follow by thiswildheart (Rated T, 16.5k)

Look, Jaskier's got a lot going on. He's painfully aware that there are cataclysmic events happening and that the troubled teenager he knows might save the world or speed along the end of days. He's also in love with a man who's never even admitted that they're friends, which is almost as bad. Oh, and he's still working as the Sandpiper, only now a terrifying eldritch creature has entrusted him with the Song of the Seven to give hope to the elves and help them fight back against their oppression. It's probably the bravest thing he's ever done, but not everyone sees it that way. Luckily he knows some people who excel at last minute rescues. ... then he just has to figure out how to tell Geralt why so many people are trying to kill him. This is going to go great.

Getting Warmer (orphaned) (Rated T, 8.2k) 

Injured and freezing after a kikimora hunt gone wrong, Geralt and Jaskier must wait out a thunderstorm at the bottom of a cliff, huddling for warmth. It is here that Geralt finally confronts his feelings for the bard.

Jaskier and Mountains Just Don't Mix by C4t1l1n4 (Rated G, 3.8k)

Despite the other Witchers' positive reaction to Geralt's bard, Vesemir is reluctant to have a human stay with them at Kaer Morhen so Jaskier attempts to leave and ends up almost freezing to death on the side of the mountain. Hypothermia fic

Immediately, I Love Him (He's Doing His Best) by @hum-my-name (Rated G, 26.5k)

"In which Greg is some sort of guardian angel, I don't know" <><> A few days ago, Joey Batey did an interview in which he created a lovely little character named Greg. A few days ago, I decided to write a cute little thing about Greg and Jaskier being the best of friends throughout the years, with a dash of Geralt and Jaskier friendship as a treat. 13k words later, here we are. Enjoy.

Broken Mirror by happy_hermit (Rated G, 2.1k) 

To Geralt’s credit, he waits until they’re well away from Kaer Morhen to ask the question. He also waits until Yennefer and Ciri have gone to bed, which makes the whole thing feel a bit too calculated for Jaskier’s liking, which is to say that he doesn’t like it at all. “Where’s your lute, Jaskier?” Jaskier doesn’t quite flinch, though his heart does something of the sort all on its own. It is very much a wound that hasn’t healed; as is most of him, these days.

Echo by @kingthunder (Rated E, 29.5k)

Jaskier loses his voice the morning after a concert. As he and Geralt find new ways to fill the silence between them, they realize it isn't only Jaskier's voice that's been lost—and getting it back will bring them closer than they've ever been before.

If There's Any Sleep At Night by @smolalienbee (Rated T, 22.8k)

The mare is but a silhouette of a human and yet at his words something passes through her expression - whether it’s surprise, joy, fear, Geralt doesn’t know. But it’s clear that what he said has struck her in some way. (“She is not some mindless monster, Geralt.” He remembers Jaskier’s words.) A mare, also known as a mara or a zmora - a malicious entity, a bringer of nightmares and a demon of the night. An easy enough contract to fulfill, if only frustrating, or at least that’s what Geralt believes when he first sets out to hunt down one such mare. What he doesn’t expect is to be wrapped up in a tale of a wronged soul, of love and of joy.

Also, because I'm not above reccing my own fics, here's a few I've written!

Wash Away the Blood and Tears by me (Rated T, 1.8k)

Jaskier re-injures his fingers while distracting Nilfgaard from Ciri. Afterward, Geralt volunteers to help wash his hair. Or: In which Jaskier gets a bath and a nap, and Geralt gets a new role in the group.

We'll Build a Den Out of Pillows (And Get Drunk Again) by me (Rated G, 2k)

Jaskier gets sick. When Geralt asks how to help, Jaskier jokingly suggests that he build a pillow fort. He does not expect Geralt to take it seriously. Geralt takes it seriously.

~

If you want more, there’s a Protective Geralt tag on AO3 that I’m sure has many lovely works I haven’t read!

(You can also find my other reclists here)

[leemillion]

CALLING ALL PRESTON GOODPLAY LOVERS (aka me)

IM MAKING A PLAYLIST

FOR THE ONE AN ONLY 😌

AND I NEED SONGS THAT REMIND YOU OF HIM. WHETHER THAT BE DIFFERENT STAGES OF HIS LIFE (canon or headcanon) OR YKNOW JUST WHATEVER GIVES YOU THE ✨VIBES✨

I’D LOVE SOME OUTSIDE OPINIONS ON THIS

HERE’S THE SONGS I ALREADY HAVE IN ORDER:

Introduction to the Snow - Miracle Musical (gives me the ✨vibes✨)

Look Who’s Inside Again - Bo Burnham (Think it would describe his childhood. At least a part of it)

Am I Supposed To Apologize? - Maria Mena (It’s %90 percent here because of a few short lyrics that would imply him discovering his love of theater. The other %10 is because I have a headcanon he’s a child of divorce parents.)

My Play - AJR (C’mon man it seems pretty self explanatory if you’ve listened to it. Plus it adds onto the divorced parents theory)

The Main Character - Will Wood (It’s literally him. C’mon man. The vibes. Also you cannot tell me he wouldn’t be a huge Will Wood fan.)

Hard to Be the Bard - Something Rotten! (He’s a writer✨ An artist✨ It can’t possibly be easy 😔)

Soldier, Poet, King - The Oh Hellos (Now this one is more the Performance Trio as a whole but still. Preston is the poet, obviously 😌 while Nerris is the soldier and Harrison is the ruler.)

I/Me/Myself - Will Wood (Because he's just so ✨gender✨ Plus if you headcanon him as gender-fluid it makes this even better.)

Oh No! - Marina & The Diamonds (A desire to succeed. To make it big in this world. He knows what he wants and he won’t stop at nothing to get it. He definitely has a fear of failure. And who’s to say he doesn’t feel like he’s the worst? He already acts like he’s the best. Who’s to say that’s not a cover up?)

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic (Consider this the beginning of Preston Goodplay’s Good Play. He finally has a performance piece that people seem to like. He’s finally getting the love and attention he so deserves 😌 But at what cost?)

Non-Stop - Hamilton (Turns out his new performance is the only thing people seem to want. So why not just keep writing up new ideas for it? Sure he’ll eventually run out. But right now’s not eventually! He’ll just have to keep coming up with new ideas for it! Thing is it’s getting a lot more stressful than he intended.)

Left Brain, Right Brain - Bo Burnham (Oh Y’know just that one scene where he’s arguing with his own fucking reflection. Unsure whether he should sell out and give the people what they want, or follow what he wants with the risk that no one would like it.)

Show & Tell - Melanie Martínez (Ok this is getting ridiculous. They’ve started showing up to his practices and commenting on HIS writing process. It’s overwhelming. But what can he do about it? They’re his target audience. Well his only audience but still-)

Everyone is Dumb - Mazie x Everybody Likes You - Lemon Demon (Seems self explanatory. Everyone actually pays attention to him now. They’re excited for his performances. Everyone likes him. But they’re also stupid. It’s a stupidly simple performance that’s virtually the same every time. Yet they never get tired of it. Yes they like him, but is it worth it if this is the reason they like him.)

Shine A Light (Reprise) - Heathers (Oh y’know just the silly little nightmare he has :,D And then the hallucinations of his own reflection laughing at him. Plus him pulling out that prop knife uh- was he just being dramatic or??? Like he did have a bit of a psychotic break, man’s was hallucinating. How do we know he didn’t think the knife was real? Like was he actually trying to- y’know? Seriously is he ok-??)

Are You Satisfied - Marina & The Diamonds (He talks to David for a bit. And something’s called to question. Is he satisfied with this? He’s worried about his future yes, but then again what’s the point of making art if he doesn’t actually like it himself. It’s pointless. And he realizes no one else should get a say in what he wants to create. It’s his problem. No one else’s.)

Drama Club - Melanie Martinez (Honestly just doesn’t give a shit about anyone’s opinions anymore and that’s kind of a good thing. Even if they hate it. “Any reaction, positive or negative, is still a reaction :D” As tomatoes are pelted towards him. Honestly a healthier mentality than he had before. And I think that’s the end of the Preston Goodplay’s Good Play section of the playlist!)

Recess - Melanie Martinez (I’m here for Preston’s grandmother raising him and teaching him everything she knows 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Stg every lyric fucking fits. Also I think this could apply to his new mentality of “Fuck you it’s my art not yours I do what I want.” A nice little summary to the fiasco that is Preston Goodplay’s Good play.)

Mirror Man - Jack Stauber’s Opal (Mostly just gives me Preston vibes. His desire to become famous and what not.)

Art Is Dead - Bo Burnham (Vibesss man. “I am an artist, please god forgive me. I am an artist, please don't revere me. I am an artist, please don't respect me I am an artist, you're free to correct me. A self-centered artist. Self-obsessed artist. I am an artist. I am an artist. But I'm just a kid. I'm just a kid. I'm just a kid, kid. And maybe I'II grow out of it”)

Finale (Can’t Wait To See What You Do Next) - AJR (Honestly just thought it’d be cool to have the last song in the playlist be called Finale 💀 But I think it’s a nice little summary of his character. A final bow if you will 😌)

Anyways that’s about it. If anyone else has suggestions or input on the songs already here feel free to! Hell if you happen to disagree with anything feel free to. I love discussions about things I like :D Also feel free to suggest songs that you think I should add 😌 Gonna go pass out now baiiii

[recents]

i was tagged by @aztarion for WIP wednesday!!!!

lately my writing is like. cartoonishly bad? and i havent been writing much lately?

anyway here is a durgestarion thing! well— sol is my durge kind of but he has some stuff in his backstory that contradicts canon durge, although it’s not important for this scene :D

i tag, no pressure: @nikomedes @elizabats @teamtadpole @murderkitten666 @switchfromlegionfx @princeofmadness54

IF ANY OF YOU ARE NOT WIP POSTERS THAT’S FINE :D

“But we should head back. If the others were to see us like this, they’d think…”

Astarion grins lazily up at him from where he’s buried his head in Sol’s chest. Sol can just see his fangs. “Oh? What would they think?”

Sol’s face feels like there should be smoke coming off of it. It’s not really fair, he thinks. Banter has a rhythm to it that feels to Sol like he must have had centuries of practice with it; friendly or flirtatious, it’s all the same. The difference is, Sol truly isn’t trying, when Astarion clearly is. It’s clear once you’ve known him for a day or two that this doesn’t come naturally to Astarion. Sol bets the man spent last night storyboarding this exact scene in his head, workshopping his own lines, sketching out what he thought Sol might say (aw, has he been on his mind?), mentally mapping all the different paths the conversation might take; if he says A, I’ll say this, if he says B, I’ll say this. Nothing is ever off the dome with this guy. 

And because of that, once you know him a little, get a feel for the direction he’s pulling things in, it’s very easy for anyone a little more improvisational to dance right out of the track he’s laid down. Hipcheck him into his own head-high house of cards. Just to watch him blink as they rain down around him. Just for the half-second when that carefully constructed facial expression freezes in place while the mind behind it recalibrates. Just because it’s cute.

But the thing is, none of that matters, really, when it comes to who has the upper hand, because Astarion doesn’t play games he won’t win, even if you refuse to play. He had you before the first bell rang. You want him bad. He knows exactly how much. The cleverest rabbit is still a rabbit, the clumsiest wolf still a wolf. You’re going to end up in his teeth either way.

An old bard’s prayer: may I never be beautiful and know it.

“Probably that we’re fucking,” says Sol with a pleasant grin.

Astarion does blink. “Well, we still have time to prove them right, retrospectively.”

“Retroactively.”

“I– fuck you,” says Astarion, but not without a short, utterly unflattering bark of laughter that feels spontaneous and unintentional and even real, and does some very silly, floppy things to the general sensation of gravity in Sol’s chest. Astarion pulls away, takes a single half-step back, lingering just barely at the border of Sol’s personal space. The spell is broken, but Astarion looks amused, like he’s reappraising him. “You have some nerve, you know that?”

[and-i-said-fewer]

no okay in all fairness i’m probably projecting like Quite A Bit,

HOWEVER

however however however like,

geralt as the taciturn mfer (that part we all know) AND like. ok and this miiiiiight be the project-y bit but like. from what i remember having seen of this silly little clown bard [ok warning i am a tv show loser only i apologize]. okay hear me the fuck out he does Not know how to address his own problems

and like the using humor to deflect/cope?? if we go meta it’s like oh well ofc he’s clearly constantly being player as comic relief!! but In Universe??????? like even when he Did confront geralt part of that conversation was like: “my shitty boots! i slid down that mountain!” as if that was the main issue there

and look ik there’s like 7 kajillion takes on geralt’s apology and i love them i love reading fix it fics from allllll the different povs but like. the part where jaskier canonically just forgives him, he’s just like, look we should just acknowledge that the jingle jangle jester bard is fucked up in the head a little. yes they’re friends and friends stay yadda yadda but also the fucker makes another joke, oh geralt you always wanna talk about your feelings teehee

and yeah his superpower is empathy or whatever the quote is, i believe that and i support that, but like hear me out. hear me outtttt *gets punched in the face and blacks out* *gets back up again bc this concept makes me loseee my minnddddd*

ok i wrote it slightly more poetic in my notes app but this is already Clearly Unhinged so like whatever. while yes it is Such a Part of him that he is human and that he cannot help but feel for other people, that he will expose himself, flayed open, to be in their shoes, also consider: when it comes to himself, that’s when it changes. that’s when it becomes a deflection. minimized. hand waved dismissively, oh don’t worry about that! the details are semantics!

also like honestly the songs are his primary emotional outlet r u kidding o7 king

ngl this was Probably more of an insight into my mental state than of Jaskier The Bard, but like if this isn’t in character then i need him too be ooc like this-

ok ok ok ok ok but like where. where do i find the fics that go 200% on the ‘jaskier and geralt don’t know how to communicate healthily (read: communicate at all) on issues between themselves’ angle

i NEED them i need them soooooo bad

[mcfallen-god]

My tavs, a (long) post

Aesthetics and backstories above ✨

(yes too many, no you can't judge me, yes I play them all once in a while, no I haven't completed the game yet with any of them, yes I also have a game as Astarion, no you still can't judge me, yes I tell you shut the fuck up with most genuine and tender love)

Lothithil, high-elf, warlock, he/they, chaotic neutral

Lothithil is an orphan (maybe his parents died in a silly accident or murdered or he is a refugee from somewhere for some reason, neither Lothithil nor I know nor really care).

He was found by an inn keeper around Baldur's Gate (Lothithil has very, very little memory of how and where the human found him, he just remembers living with him for some years)

The man who picked him up was a human and had the boy working at the inn through Lothithil's early years. The inn owner is not exactly a perfect good guy, he had never been violent and treated Lothithil bad, but he is a gambler and tended to have a lot of debts.

One day he gambled too big for his own good and he couldn't afford to repay the guys he was in debt to. So, naturally, these guys came and threatened to burn his inn if he didn’t pay. He begged them to spare the inn and offered Lothithil instead. And just like this, the boy went from hand to hand.

The boy felt a bit betrayed at first, but as he thought it out, he never got involved emotionally with the man, neither did the innkeeper. They were not family to begin with. He offered the kid a shelter, food and a place to sleep. After all Lothithil was but a stray dog to the human. So he never exactly felt mad at him, just thankful for the time he spent at the inn, but he never really held grudge (and being a long-live beings help to put things into perspective, he now just looks kind of fondly at his years at the inn).

With the group of thugs, Lothithil learnt to lie and to steal (the guys kinda liked him, the boy was resourceful, charming and fun).

After some years, those guys – who were mostly human or at least aged like humans – turned old. As they eventually aged and retired – just left Baldur’s Gate, got arrested or died anyway – Lothithil was teenish and parted way with them.

He then met a couple of human warlock, who offered him to come with them. He was more or less adopted by them and joined their family. They had very small ‘cult’ where all of them were warlocks and shared the same patron. Lothithil choose to become a warlock as well and to join the ‘cult’.

Though, they all remained humans, aging and eventually passing away. Their children took after them to carry their little cult on, but Lothithil decided to leave.

Now he is almost an adult in terms of high-elf age, and he has enough resources to get his own ass out of mess and all. He doesn’t have any specific goal in life, he just likes to hang in there, sometimes on the roads, sometimes in the city. He likes to meet people and learn about their stories, he likes to mingle with them and have some fun (*wink wonk*), but he remains relatively without ties.

He is not aromantic, but maybe demi-romantic. He is really at ease with sex and is opened to many things. He is pansexual, kind-of switch but he likes it when he has his p*ssy stuffed lol.

Ash/Lith (DU), half-high-elf, bard, they/them, neutral evil

Ash (Lith) is my Dark Urge.

Their early life was happy and peaceful. Ash’s parents were two gentle, humble humans who found the baby by their little cottage’s door. Back then, Ash had another name, but they never ever used it again after the ‘event’...

It happened one night, the whole day Ash suffered a terrible fever and, through their sleep, they heard it. The dark urge calling.

Everything happened pretty quickly, and when Ash came back to his senses, they were standing in the middle of an inferno, the little cottage burning madly and the both corpse of their parents were ripped at their feet. Wet blood gleaming under the raging flames.

Ash felt disoriented, looking at their hands covered in blood and at the two dead bodies; they couldn’t *feel* anything. As a joist broke and crashed on Ash, half of their face and their left eye were burnt. It took them out of the torpor and they ran out of the blaze.

They stayed by the burning house, looking at flames until it died as well. From the ashes, they took their new name. The dark urge remained strong within them after that, and turned them rather insensitive and disconnected from their feelings, apathetic.

They are completely aromantic, and probably something like demi-sexual, as they are actually turned on by violence, murder, lies and generally by situation like: people witnessing the results of their crime without knowing it is Ash’s doing.

After the tadpole event, even if they wake up without any memories, they feel at ease with the killing urge and love the little itch it is to them.

Willow/Tathar, half-wood-elf, paladin, they/them, neutral good

Willow (Tathar) lived their early life with their father, their human parent (he gave birth to Willow, as both mom and dad are actually trans characters).

Willow’s mother and father sincerely loved each other, but knowing he will age and eventually die way faster than her, they both agree they should parted. Though, dad hardly ever let go of his feelings for her, while she, being an elven kind, got easily detached. Yet, when mom left, she didn't know dad was pregnant (neither did dad). Dad never got angry with mom, and never really tried to find her either. He understood that elves have a different emotional attachment due to their long life expectancy. And dad knew to begin with, at the start of their relationship, that it would end this way, they enjoyed their love story, but it was just impossible for them to stay together forever, obviously.

Dad always was very sincere with Willow and explained how happy mom and him were and how they parted on an a common agreement. He  also explain how he will eventually die when Willow is still young.

The both of them lived a happy and quiet life, for many years, but as dad started to age way faster than Willow, he had to have a talk with his child about their future. Father encouraged Willow to go connect with their elvish culture. As they never grew up among wood elf, Willow have some (many) things they don't know about their own origins and traditions.

Willow hardly agreed at first, but they quickly understood their father just wanted his child to have ties with their mother’s side. They promised they will left and wandered the world to learn about their culture, but only after their father is gone. They stayed at dad's side as he aged and passed away. It was their father who made them pick a god to worship. With such a patron, father was sure Willow would be safe after he left this world.

Now, Willow wander and feel eager to learn about their other mother's side, they are not especially trying to find her, as she is basically a nobody to them, but at least to learn about wood elf’s habits and customs.

Willow is a bit silly, very kind hearted. Thy can't bear injustice and don’t mind to hit first talk after if the situation requires so. They have no issues to kill, but they rather only kills the bad guys. They are a very enthusiastic person in terms of relationship, but has a hard time to label and bounder the said relationship. A friend can be a lover or a sexual partner alike. It is not mean, it is not absence of caring, but they just genuinely don’t know the limits, but if you explain very clearly and straightforwardly you look for an exclusive relationship, they will understand, but I’m not sure they will stick with you on a one-to-one relationship. Thus, Willow is clearly pansexual and polyamory.

Perslay, human, bard, he/him, true neutral

Perslay has the plainest backstory.

He is born from human parents, themselves part of a theatre company. He grew up in Baldur's Gate with them and the troupe. He started to be part of their show at a young age and he always meant to be a people entertainer. He never really went into an actual adventure ever, though he travelled with the troupe and can definitely fight for himself.

When his parents retired due to aging, and settled down in Baldur’s Gate for good, Perslay left and travelled with another company. Him and his parents are not in bad terms, he is just naturally independent and eager to perform on stage or in the street.

He only really was punched into adventure kind of travel because of the mind flayer’s abduction...

Perslay’s grumpiness and rather selfish temper makes him a bit hard-to-befriend person, but he is not completely heartless either. If you learn how to handle him, if you successfully pass through his attitude and become his friend, he will be your best ally and kill for you. But if you decide to betray him, you better be prepared man.

He is not exactly a warry person, he is more like: no matter who you are, what is your business, can you help with my problem? Come on, wanna try to stop me? Get lost.

He is very, very homosexually gay and loves big, strong men. Perslay is that one gay friend gossiping with his she friends about you. He never fell in love, but doesn’t mind trying; in the meanwhile he is a pretty sexually active guy.

Macyra, tiefling, sorcerer, she/her, lawful good

Macyra is homeless and alone; as her homeplace had been attacked and destroyed by humans. It happened when she was young and doesn’t remember much of the original event that triggers the conflict, but she remembers her father taking her sister and herself and taking them out of the house. The little village was burning and everyone was running away.  They got separated at some point, her father letting go of her and she had been dragged away by the running crowd. She doesn’t know if they are dead or alive.

After the tragedy, Macyra roamed with a couple of other young Tieflings, in the wild. At some point, they met with an old woman, a sorcerer Drow living by herself in the wood. She saved them and raised them rightfully. The Drow taught them to hear and use their natural magic.

She also taught them to always remember their origins, but to not feel restricted by it; she warned them that humans would never fully accepted them, as their appearance is the stigma of their ancestors’ misbehaviour and it is not a reason to prove them right. One should be judged on their own actions and not on their kins or kinds actions.

These teachings never left Macyra as she grew up and left the Drow’s side to wander the world by herself.

In every time and place, she uses her natural magic to work for people and to try to make them see her – and her kind – as less threatening.

As she travels, she tries to find any information about her father or her sister, unable to give up on them.

Macyra is a quiet and rather serious woman. She enjoys books, calm time, and she hardly just knows how to ‘have fun’ but she is not against it. She is just kind of hard to herself, socially clumsy and always does things like taming her voice, her moves, her actions to be sure to not frighten  people around her. She is naturally tall and large, and her whole appearance can be a bit scary for those not used to the sight of a Tiefling, but she is a good girl.

She is an helpless romantic, even if she never allowed herself to indulge in the warmth of romance. Macyra is not ace, but she is a bit impressed by sex and, since she is naturally large, she knows she can easily frighten partners. She never thought about her romantic label and thinks she can probably be with anyone as long as she fell for them, so you can consider her as a pansexual. Also, she might be very romantic, she is not opposed to the idea of polyamory.

Jas, githyanki, barbarian, he/him, chaotic neutral

Jas is just a… kind of himbo? Or more like he-bimbo?

Nothing goes in his mind really. Eating and using his strength is all he understands, and cares about.

Oh and he absolutely LOVES silver things (plate, forks, weapon and coins alike).

He will do whatever you ask him if you are persuasive enough, unless it is the opposite of what he wants.

About his young years, he has a rather classical life for a githyanki. Fight and fight and win fight and one day, ride a dragon kind of life.

After the mind flayer’s abduction, he sticks to Lae’zel. She is like him. She looks pretty. She is strong. She can fold him in half. She is githyanki with a brain.

She is not ugly and kid of scary like the long nose guys and the horned dudes.

He hardly grasps the concept of romantic attraction, but is really happy at anyone able to give him a good time, pegging him down, regardless of gender.

Veylin, half-drow, warlock, he/him, chaotic neutral

Veilyn is an orphan Drow (half elf, half Drow actually, but that is fact unknown to himself) who was raised in the Underdark.

As an orphan, he ended up "employed" (basically a slave) at the house of a rich and powerful Drow's couple.

He was their "boy-who-do-everything"; cleaning, cooking, shopping, and other dirtier jobs: like cleaning after their ‘parties’ (if you know what I mean), or if the couple had an enemy, Veylin was sent to assassinate them over the night.

At some point, Veylin grew exhausted of this lifestyle; especially since he is not exactly well treated, being fed with left overs or little dishes, being physically punished when his work is not good enough – or when one of them is just upset –, assisting to all kinds of debauchery, and having absolutely no freedom.

One day, another slave decided to riot. They teamed up with other slaves and started to fight with those who were still loyal to the Drow’s couple. It all was a big mess.

People fighting, slaves running away, house burning, authority coming to try to settle the shit down. But, in the end, Veylin used that opportunity to run away.

By then, he is barely a young adult who knows nothing from the outside world, apart from its existence. He is barely able to read; but he knows how to speak basic, since the Drow couple had many kind of visitors and he had to learn how to serve the guests well. He has good assassin’s skills, he can cook.

Though, he never ever saw something as shiny as the sun ever, so when he finally, firstly reached the outside world, he was scared by sight of so many light and hid back for a while. As night came, he saw the light going down and wandered out. It was a shock for him, that the outside world can be sometime so full of light and sometimes so dark.

Veylin started to travel, mostly at night, because he is more at ease with the darkness. At some point, he met with another traveller, their encounter was a bit chaotic at first, as the other traveller was a green-skinned woman Tiefling with long, curved horns and dancing tail. Veylin never ever met a Tiefling before, and he felt a bit freaked out, but the Tiefling was kind and patient enough to help and explain. She explained about her kind and listened to Veylin’s story; she also warned him about how Drow were perceived in this world and he should learn to act accordingly. They parted ways at the next village, after she showed him the basics of life here.

After the abduction, Veylin’s main goal is to get rid of the tadpole at every cost.

He won his freedom and he craves to keep it. He will kill and fight his way out of anything without hesitation in the name of his own freedom. On his journey, he will learn how to make friend, open to others and – most importantly – entrust others, but it is not an easy thing for him.

Veylin is still young, unexperienced in terms of love, but experienced in terms of sex. He doesn’t mind the gender of his partners, but he definitely is a bottom.

Kiaran, drow, wizard, she/her, neutral good

Kiaran is an old Drow lady who values knowledge and culture above anything. She lived part of her young years in the Underdark with her mother. One day, a man came in their life, a human wizard. He was kind and wise, he initially visited the Underdark for his researches, but fell in love with Kiaran’s mother and stayed with them. He was kind to the little girl and taught her the base of his knowledge. Kiaran liked him and his words a lot, they could spent all days together, reading books and learning magic, he said she was really talented!

It was a nice period. After some years, the human proposed the two Drow to come with him, back to the outside world. They agreed.

Kiaran was still young, but she clearly remember the amazement it was to her, to discover so many new things. They installed with him in his laboratory, on the edge of a village. More nice years passed peacefully; even though the villagers weren’t so happy to have ‘dark elves’ so close to their homes, the old wizard always managed to keep peace in the neighbourhood.

But the wizard was an old human and he eventually passed away when Kiaran was still young. As he was not there anymore to protect them from the villagers, then the tragedy occurred.

They came and threatened them, wanting to force them away. Kiaran’s mother refused, saying they have as much right to stay there as these humans. They disagreed, but left them be. For now.

The head of the village paid a mercenary to come and get rid of them. The man acted at night, locking all doors and windows from outside, and set fire to the laboratory while the two Drow were sleeping. They woke up and tried to get out, but all the exists were blocked. So, Kiran’s mother took her daughter and ran upstairs, and from one of these windows, she throw the girl out.

Kiaran survived, but had her face and body burnt, and had other injuries from the fall. Her mother died in the house, alongside with all the old wizard’s books, notes and knowledge.

After that day, Kiaran decided to never ever let anyone look down on her or treat her bad regarding her appearance or origins. She wanders the world to learn always more and more, she also take on herself to educate people the soft or hard way on her journey.

She is basically your local mommy; bisexual, and kinda dome-like, she doesn’t mind her partner’s preferred role, she can do it all.

[hollowtones]

Spent a huge chunk of this year playing FFXIV and I love going back to your presentation you did on it the night before Endwalker dropped. Do you have a fun backstory for your WoL? I remember you talking about your old character being a female Roegardyn pirate.

Her name's Wilberga Havard but she goes by Willow for short. She's a Hyur. Her dad's an Ala Mhigan refugee and her mom's Gridanian and she was raised in Thanalan. She's a construction worker by trade and she specializes in stoneworking and metalworking for houses and buildings, so she's Passionate About Rocks. She can't read or write super good but she's good with math and numbers and engineering. She's kind of a meathead. Her favourite thing to do after a long day's work is to knock back a couple drinks and get into fistfights to let off stress. Getting into the Pugilist's Guild on a whim is what eventually sets her on the path of the main story, & at first she mainly uses the whole "go to the other city-states" parts as an excuse to improve her handywoman skills and find new drinks. She gives most of her money away to people she thinks need it more than ger, and spends the rest on food and drink, so she's usually broke & ends up in a lot of situations of "oh fuck, well I can't afford the inn fee, will you let me sleep here if I do your dishes or fix your roof or something"

Her soul's weird. She has basically no ability to channel elementally-aspected aether. Her inner magical reserves are Abnormally High, though, and studying to be an Arcanist (which she gets into because she wants to be better at bookkeeping for the sake of not being broke as much LOL) clicks very quickly for her because it's Unaspected Magical Geometry & she likes math. Her version of the Echo... kind of doesn't work properly. She's got the immunity to tempering and all, but encounters with primals and the like cause aspects of them to manifest in her soul. This is a long way of saying Girl's Haunted. Makes her very good at Summoning! I like to imagine all the elementally-aspected attacks in other jobs are her mixing it with Summoner and channelling the power of the relevant primal. Her thoughts and dreams are a little noisy and crowded because of it, though. This was something I came up with on a whim while I was going through "Heavensward" because I like the idea of a woman who is haunted. Then as I played more of the story I kept getting plot events & world/universe establishing moments that continued lending more and more credence to my silly little idea. I always win. Willow's soul is a retirement home for The Friends We Made Along The Way.

Her main fightin' jobs are Dark Knight, Scholar, Monk, Bard, and Summoner. Her main Actual jobs is crafting and on-site resource procurement, but she keeps getting pulled into world-shaking conflicts, with a mixture of "AWESOME I WANT TO PUNCH A DUDE SQUARE IN THE JAW" and "COME ON MAN I AM TIRED I WANT TO GO BACK TO BUILDING HOMES FOR PEOPLE".

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Lucifer and Jaskier for the character bingo.

–Pocket Sized Moot (apparently, lol)

YAY! First up Lucifer, my little white man that I could also fit in my pockets :)

To start off:

I absolutely love his design. One of my favorite things about Hazbin Hotel is the fact that most of the characters are wearing suits/nice outfits, and Lucifer's is one of my favorites

HE'S JUST A LITTLE GUY WHO COULD KILL YOU WITH NO HESITATION AND I LOVE THAT

He's petty as fuck, just a little silly guy

I would kiss him on his little head, and then chomp the fuck out of him. I'm with Alastor and the cannibals on this, his blood would taste divine ;)

That man needs to be fucked up a little though. He's the King of the Hells, he's got trauma and I want to read about it

Next up Jaskier, my boy bard and one of my Top 5 favorite Witcher characters

Alrighty here we go:

My man is part fae and I'll fight anyone who thinks otherwise. Joking, though it is one of my favorite headcanons

He's a bastard and a silly guy through and through. He would fuck you up and then make the funniest quip you've ever heard without breaking a sweat

I love Season 1 and Season 2 Jaskier the best(His hair though HIS HAIR WHO HURT YOU, oh wait), and I also love him in the games and books. He's a little whore(affectionate) and I adore him for that

His outfits are always amazing and his game version always makes me laugh. He's extravagant and owns it

As with Lucifer, I would kiss him on the head and gnaw on him a little

Show Geralt is on thin fucking ice and needs to treat my bard better

These are just some thoughts and thank you my precious little pocket moot for entertaining me!

[queeriocheeri0]

Silly little list for the modding community :3

Hello I and my bestie have created a list that was originally intended for Larian but patch 7 is presumably the last big update and I have no talent whatsoever so I'm passing this on to modding community. Note that this was mostly written in patch 6 so some of these have been fixed. If anyone has mods that actually fix these please tell me what. Also note that this is in no particular order and that "Tav" just means avatar character, not only the "custom" origin. Goes without saying but uh spoilerssss

Here ye go:

-NO MORE DANGER ELEVATORS

-Don't just have me frozen there for five minutes right before or after dialogue 

-Let Wyll choose the outcome of his pact! Sure, we should have a say, but it's HIS storyline

-Let Durge screw dead bodies of anyone with a specific Durge death scene (Alfira, Isobel.. Gale..? Minthara. I'd say Timber but bestiality is ickier than necrophilia and isn't canonically liked by the character. Pandirna. The kobold I can't remember the name of. Probably others. Idk.)

-Durgetash romance (INCLUDING SEX)

-Raphael romance (really fucking toxic & manipulative) (also including sex I want to get on my knees for this man)

-Insight check when Gale asks to show you a magic trick (to know he wants to bone you)

-More. Karlach. Storyline.

-Minthara storyline/personal quest 

-Actual effects after praising Sharess

-Non-evil Lae'zel ending 

-Use of Wyll's "handlebars", inside and outside of sex scenes (yes, WYLL SEX SCENES. I know, I know, he's a vaguely innocent man, but the amount of posts about impregnating him...)

-Better origin Astarion storyline

-MORE RACISMMMM (specifically as a tiefling)

-Ability to hire drow twin(s) again for different scenes

-Option to have Lae'zel step on you with high heels (if romanced)

-Dialogue options for horny Tav (ex: Raphael tells Tav "come", Tav should be able to say "only if you want me to, daddy". Astarion holds a knife to Tav's throat, Tav should be able to say "kinky".)

-More head options for body types 2 and 4

-LONG, STRAIGHT HAIR. IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED

-Threesome with Isobel and Aylin

-Threesome with Z'rell, Minthy, and Nere

-Let Karlach burn her initials onto my skin

-Persuasion check to have Wyll approve of squex with Tav

-More content regarding Wyll's story (like dealing with his crappy martyr complex... more than getting hornshamed, using tadpoles as an excuse to avoid a thoughtful conversation, and waking up a 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 gay dragon)

-Ability to change custom difficulty defaults (so it can be used in other playthroughs instead of you having to do it manually every time)

-MAKE. ONLYFANGS. REAL.

-Option to have Orin put Tav on the altar

-Option to eat Boo as Durge/Lae'zel 

-More genitalia customisation (braids for female, sizes for male, and a non-binary option)

-NO MORE "default" GENITAL OPTION

-SHOW US WYLL'S SPIKES IN PLACES THERE "REALLY SHOULDN'T BE" (give our lovely tief Wyll a barbed dick)

-Bard dialogue options to make fun of Bhaal's name (ex: The temple of the singular testicle. Bhaalsdeep. The second kinkiest god.)

-Lemme adopt the circus Displacerr 

-Lemme adopt the hyena with the convoy 

-Lemme adopt Crimson 

-Lemme adopt Squire (undead doggies deserve pets too)

-Give Astarion black eyebrows, it's annoying me.

-Option to tell Lae'zel to fuck off upon first meeting 

-Option to tell Lae'zel to fuck you upon first meeting

-Sidequest to get Pritt Yellowbreath their puzzles

-Ability to keep Losiir as a temporary companion... plz

-Option to torture Cazador as Durge, Astarion romance, or Astarion origin, if you choose not to have him ascend 

-Let EVERYONE see Karlach fingering Tav, not just console users

-Leg hook. I don't think any more needs to be said.

-Let us adopt all the weird cats in the city

-New party banter: After a battle where Shart says "feel my mistress' wrath!", have Wyll bring it up and mention Mizora. 

-We know Astarion's kinky, but let that aspect be .. shown? Fourth sex scene? Pretty please?

-Fix dragonborn kissing animations dont just add more... everyone keeps biting people's faces off... (okay, maybe let us bite Gortash's face off, regardless of if we get durgetash or not)

-Option to bring His Majesty to Moonrise and put him on the throne

-Have Gortash take a shower, brush his teeth, and goddamn shave 

-When playing as Karlach origin, if Mizora hits on you and you say yes, have her respond by insulting you and changing her mind, but still tell your romanced companion

-Polyamorous epilogues (both romanced companions in one scene)

-More cleric faiths and Gods to pray to in the stupid temple thing (Loviatar, the dead three, Silvanus, Sharess, etc.)

-If Wyll breaks his contract, Tav should have to beg Mizora to stay in the camp, but alternatively, Tav can bitch slap Mizora and she'll leave (in the same dialogue as where you'd potentially beg her to stay)

-As Wyll origin, option to stay Mizzy's slave AND kill your dad/become duke

-Special epilogue for Duke Wyll origin romanced Ascended Astarion 

-Skip button for NPC turns in battles

-After asking Astarion if he expects Raphael to keep his word, option to tell him you think Raphael's hot af

-Have Astarion give AT LEAST 2 approval if you bite Crusher's toe off