#silliness level 100/10

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Do you think König would watch corn/look at or think about other women if together? Maybe if he was deployed for a long time? 😪

I just meant to answer this ask with a few sentences on how König gives up porn after meeting you but... things got out of hand (again)

CW: Um. Toxic König being shameless with pictures of you. Reader leaves a paused porn stream lying around to teach König a lesson (and suffers the consequences.) Dirty talk & fluffy smut.

Our toxic King has watched porn, yes. He actually had a crippling porn addiction during his late teenage years. He was a bit of a loner due to bullying, found the internet, and the rest is history (this giant’s hormones were through the roof.)

And you know how it is when there’s a lot of spare time in the army... Even now when he’s older and working for KorTac, there are moments of dullness and boredom at the base, moments when nothing else helps to relieve the tension and anxiety.

But... after he met you, König started to get this odd feeling everytime he opened the stream. He feels a bit dirty, almost like he’s…. cheating on you. He can’t quite bring himself to watch it, let alone enjoy it, and so he closes the tab and has a frustrated fap with no other stimulation but his thoughts.

He thinks about the last time you two met and especially the blowjob you gave him. It's actually even better, remembering how you kneeled in front of him, watching up with compliance and slight terror in your big, wet, shy eyes. You always have that look when you take him in... It's enough to make his cock wet even know.

He especially replays the moment when he came in your mouth and how demurely you swallowed every last drop, how bashful and happy you looked when he praised you about it right after. Of course he wants to make sure you do such things to him again, even if it is a bit cruel of him to have his lady on her knees. It sends a distant sting to his heart to remember how you took both the king-sized cock and the generous load in your warm little mouth... And it also sends him to another thigh-ripping, heart-pounding orgasm just to recall your helpless little whimpers and eager tries to please him.

At some point, he starts to use pictures of you as fapping material, whether it be pics you’ve sent him, pics he’s taken of you, pics on your social media… And you would think it’s your bikini pics this guy is after, but no. Mostly, it’s the decent pictures, the ones where you're smiling and looking at the camera with innocent, bright eyes, the ones where you're clearly having fun with a friend or smiling on the brink of happy tears while petting a kitten. Your old thirst trap selfies from a birthday party are his favourite porn from now on. He's been a fool, not realizing you had tons of pictures online... He could've treated himself to them before he even picked you flowers.

You of course have no idea that he’s doing dirty things like that. Neither do you know König has stopped watching porn because pictures of you being cute get him off just as well or even better than pornography.

But things get interesting when you find some old files on his computer. And who cares if you’re snooping around a little bit: König is always snooping around your stuff, the little – big – gremlin. To your shock, you find hours and hours of material, neatly organized into folders labeled in German. They’re from a time before streaming services were a thing, but still, you’re feeling so very hurt.

Annoyed, you want to give him a lesson and deliberately leave a tab open on your own laptop one day, knowing he will come home soon. It’s just to make him realize how it makes you feel that he watches porn (well, he hasn’t watched those videos since he was a young pup, but you don’t know that).

When König comes home, you act like you’re busy in the kitchen. The paused video of a cute girl getting some attention from two muscular men is waiting for him, still on the screen of your laptop left purposely sitting on the table, as if forgotten.

König is quite loud when he comes in, almost barges in, takes off his shoes as quickly as he can, gives you a pitched yell that he’s home… Your heart is hammering in your chest, the heavy footsteps announce that König is eager to see you, but they end in an abrupt silence when he's stopped by the sight of what’s on your screen.

One, two, three…

You count the seconds in your head before König storms in the kitchen.

To your anxious thrill, the uproar is even worse than you thought. He marches to you, visibly shocked, demanding to know what it is on your screen.

You’ve been watching two naked men while he's been away?

Why...? Why would you even want to watch something like that?? The material is nasty, this sweet girl looks like she's being bullied by two rather big men! He didn’t even know you watched… watched porn.

The argument is quite brief in the end. You throw the accusations right back at him, and he just blinks. It turns out König hasn’t watched porn since he met you (other than those few times during which he got oddly uncomfortable), and he hasn’t watched those old videos in over ten years.

He never answers your questions on why does he want to watch all those "sweet girls" being bullied by "dirty men". He simply marches to his computer and deletes everything while you watch and bite your lip in silence.

Then he goes to your laptop and sets all kinds of sites on block. Huffing and puffing as he does that, you can see how frustrated he is that you’ve watched other men and their cocks.

The rest of the evening König looks at you like he doesn’t even know you anymore, both intrigued and suspicious. You know you’ve insulted his tender masculine sensibilities. But come evening, he teases you about it in bed, asking if one big man is not enough for you. That he didn’t even know his girl was so naughty and needy.

Don't you know that his cock alone could break you? A sweet girl like you could never handle two men... let alone two big cocks.

König has never talked so dirty, and you’re left hot and sweaty and embarrassed, thinking how stupid it is that porn is ruining your already red flagged relationship while also giving you the hottest sex yet. How stupid it is, considering neither of you have even watched those videos in reality.

And it’s not enough for König to ban websites and ensure his "naughty girl" doesn't come across any disturbing material.

You now have to repay him by sending some cute pictures of you wearing nothing but your underwear. Actually, he would prefer it that you wore nothing but your smile.

You will send the pictures to him at certain times of the day when he’s away, no exceptions. He will give you further insturctions on the dates. And you better be smiling on those pictures – one of those smiles you have when you see a cute stray cat or when it's your birthday.

Oh, and by the way: you really should change your social media accounts to private. Any pervert could be going through your photos at any given time.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sneepy cozy....

[fanvoidkeith]

so i'm trying to actually complete my pokedex in pokemon scarlet, and. um. i have BOTW and TOTK brain (have played both of them for over 100 hours each- actually nearing 250 for TOTK), so i thought there was like. a 100+ stakes to pull out of the ground to get the 4 local legendaries, similarly the shrines. but no. there is actually only 32 total, with 8 per legendary. i forgot which game i was playing, which is actually the game meant for children to be able to play

[tacagen]

man do i love green goblin and do i HATE how he's usually handled

[luetta]

i saw someone joke about robot girls as an example of kinks that are just impossible to ever be made reality, like they're completely in the land of fiction. but ... that is just not true!

you can set the mood in your room. turn off the lights but put on some little coloured purple and blue blinkers. sit her down on the edge of your bed and sit down behind her. let her eyes flutter closed since there's no reason to keep them upon in this dark, safe room. softly coo into her ears, she's been such a good robot day! doing so many tasks so efficiently! making everyone around her so happy. but, silly her, she overdid it. so you're just going to have to do a tiny bit of repair work. "will that be okay, dear?" of course it will be. she trusts you completely. you're her admin. you created her. of course she has a safeguard preventing just anyone from powering her down, but she lets you override that with no resistance. such a good girl.

press your finger into the back of her neck, and then drag it down her spine. as she powers down, glide her limp body softly onto the bed. put her feet up so she's lying down completely now. maybe hold her limbs up a bit and let them drop. yep, she's powered down now. she's not unconscious, just mental faculties are capped at 10% and body autonomy is disabled. all you have to do now is find where she's sustained some damage. trace your fingers all along her chassis, poking in with a "screwdriver" to take her outer layer off and examine the wires and joints. hmmm... oil is a bit thin. these wires are too close together, could cause sparking and overheating. goodness, your fan is dusty. you've been working so hard, haven't you? gently turn her over onto her stomach now. it's time to investigate her processing unit, her software.

make sure her arms aren't stuck underneath her. once she's all comfy, you can unscrew her entire back panel. make sure to trace your fingers all around her back and spine as you do, robot girls love that shit. the soft human touch is heavenly to a machine of metal and electricity. and such a well designed chassis too, so beautiful. but off it comes, what's underneath is even prettier! oh, even now, it's still hot to the touch. you've been thinking so much today ... you don't need to think anymore though. just let me explore you. read out her event log for the day. algorithmic neural plasticity score. joint lubricant levels. corrupted data percentage. things like that. they're like scores to her. praise her if she's gotten good ones, tease her if she's gotten bad ones.

i could write so much more and maybe i will...like roleplaying injecting a virus into her neck or chest, and feeling the code flow all down her body...your cock can even be the usb!

also, at some point lay your whole body weight onto them - arms over her arms and legs over her legs. to calibrate pressure sensors or something. bc lets face it if she's a robot girl then she is 100% a neurodivergent cutie who'd love that sm <3

[islandofsages]

Hello, can i ask for Octavinelle dorm with Octavinelle! M! reader?

He's a really chill and silly guy but somehow crazy good with money and business. Like, if you give him 10 bucks and tell him to do whatever he wants with it and come back with 100 bucks, he'll somehow come back with 10000 bucks and become the CEO of some company. And, yeah, he's got these goofy ideas that somehow just work.

characters: the octavinelle boys x male octavinelle reader

tags: relationship not specified, crack (?), imagines format

warnings: a bit of swearing (just one word really)

author's notes: i love yall yall's readers are so goofy they're so fun to write

Azul Ashengrotto

He appreciates how you’re one of the more level-headed guys around, though if only you could lay off the joking and teasing

But as long as you don’t cause him trouble he doesn’t mind you as much - and you end up proving to him that you are the very opposite

One day, he asks you to run him a errand (with fair compensation, of course; he is the soul of benevolence after all)

It’s quite simple - fetch him a sum of money Sam owes the Mostro Lounge (you don’t question how and why a fully-grown adult owes a seventeen year old money)

And so you go over to Sam’s. You won’t lie, you’re a little curious of what this debt entails. You’ll see if you can squeeze some details out of Sam

You meet up with Sam, all smiles as per usual. Though when you mention that you’re there because of the debt, he takes you into the shop’s backroom instead

He gives you an envelope, stuffed with the goods no doubt. He seems insistent on not letting on anything - but then you hit him with a classic move

“Now, now, we’re not in a rush, are we? I don’t even work for the Mostro Lounge. Least you can do is entertain a guy. I’ll keep my lips sealed.”

Sweet-talk and half-truths are a way to a salesman's heart after all. It’s true that you don’t work for Azul but that’s only because you have other businesses going on right now

Sam gives in with a sigh. It seems as if he’s been carrying such a secret for a while and needs an outlet. And you are definitely here for it

You come back to Octavinelle, skipping merrily (if not physically, at least you were on cloud nine mentally) and carrying more than just an envelope. Azul, on the other hand, is borderline seething for whatever reason. Little does he know

The moment you reach his office, you toss him the envelope and is about to leave - until he sees not one but the two enormous bags you carried in your hands that are definitely filled with money

Distraught, he questions you on how the hell you manage to score that much money. You shrug while walking towards the exit. It's just a matter of persuasion and creative thinking.

Business is so easy, you thought.

Jade Leech

Similar to Azul, it’s nice to have someone who has their shit together - plus, he finds it amusing when you mess with Azul. It reminds him of Floyd’s antics

Once in a while, you’re a pleasant guy to just sit down and have small talk with, though at times he wishes you would let on about yourself more

For his information, you only let slip when you want to; and he finds that out himself one fateful day

He jokes that if there’s anyone who could overpower Azul and steal his authority over the Mostro Lounge, it’d be you. You chuckle knowingly at this

Feeling a little playful, you propose to him a bet - if you manage to do so by next week, he owes you ten thaumarks. But if you don’t, you owe him ten thaumarks

He lets out a carefree laugh, amused. He reserves his assumptions and agrees to play along with you for the next few days

He doesn’t see you in a while. Not intentionally - he genuinely can’t find you anywhere, though he only attributes it to the fact that there’s only so much time he can use to look for you

After a whole week has passed, he seats himself where the bet initially took place and waits patiently for you to show up. True to your promise, you come waltzing up to him casually, your hands in your pockets and a friendly smile on your face

You slide next to him as he asks you how’ve you been and the two of you update each other on your wellbeing. Then he starts chuckling, a hand over his mouth in true Jade fashion. You smirk in response, knowing too well what that chuckle is for

And in true you fashion, you pull out ten thaumarks and extend them to him

…wait a minute. That’s ten thousand thaumarks.

You savor the sight of a Jade with his mouth agape. You snicker at his bewilderment as he tries to process what’s happening in front of him

“It’s true that I didn’t usurp Azul’s power or anything - but that’s only because I’m not interested in the Mostro Lounge. I’d rather have it as a rival than my property.”

After he gets over his initial shock, he offers you a sinister, toothy grin. You respond with a finger to your lips. He nods understandingly and takes the money from you with no protest.

Floyd Leech

You’re more low-key compared to him but he still appreciates having a fellow pain-in-Azul’s-ass

Of course, it depends on his mood still, but his tolerance of you is pretty consistent despite everything. You take it as a compliment

On one of his good-mood days, he’s chatting it up with you and laying out potential ways to mess with Azul more. You bring your own idea to the table

“How about this? I get a common word used by literally everyone trademarked and anyone who dares utter it has to pay me. And that includes Azul himself.”

He guffaws at your ridiculous idea and voices his opinion. You laugh yourself and don’t deny it. It is pretty far-fetched… but you have your ways

Plus, he has to admit that would piss off Azul super bad it’d be worth the trouble

The two of you hang out from time to time as usual when behind it all, you’re setting up Azul’s eventual downfall

Or not. You don’t actually care about taking Azul down but it would be pretty funny. Also you’ll get to impress Floyd in some shape or form which you care more about frankly

Once the deed is done, it’s announced everywhere you could think of - you did it under a fake name of course. But the money you’ll be getting can’t be any more real

What did you trademark? The word “so”.

When you relay this story to Floyd, he lets out a howl of a laugh you could’ve mistaken him for a wolf - he has no idea what strings you had to pull to actually manage that but color him entertained

…until he realizes that he’d also have to pay you every time he uses that word. Then his mood goes down instantly

You shrug that realization off by giving him a pass since he let you entertain the idea in the first place.

Floyd happy again :)

[faelapis]

Don't Vote in Eurovision.

the 2nd semi is about to happen. israel is competing. i want to start by acknowledging something: i hope my fellow eurovision boycotters, protesters and general #BanIsraelfromEurovision people know it's not like. impossible for israel to win this year.

at eurovision, you only need a minority of televote to "win" televote, when there are 26 entries in the final. nobody wins with outright majority, they win by being the biggest minority.

if there's 10% dedicated zionist viewers who will vote for israel just because it's israel, that probably outweighs the points that a lot of other countries will get. if you divide 100/26, you get an average of 3.8%. if there's 10% dedicated zionists, i hope you see how that's suddenly a HUGE percentage. (of course, eurovision votes are not even. some songs get 0.2% of a country's vote, some songs get 20%. but the point stands. you don't need majority support to win.)

yes, this means that, theoretically, a country that supports palestine 90% could still give israel televote points - because of the united 10% voting for israel, while the 90% votes divided among the other entries. and you can't vote against songs in televote.

i side with the bookies that it's not LIKELY. we are very unlikely to see "ukraine 2022" level televote numbers for israel. europeans are much more divided on the apartheid colonial state. and many will vote just for "whichever song they like best."

i'm only saying that, IF israel were to get a huge televote score, it doesn't mean the "majority" of europe supports them. quite the opposite. it just means you can't vote against entries. you can be deeply unpopular and win.

i'm also saying this because, in the likely event that israel gets at least top 10, please dont let the zionists spread it as "proof" that europe is behind them. their apartheid colonial regime is bleeding support every day. most pro-palestine folks are boycotting.

this is a silly song contest. do not feel hopeless because of it.

instead, focus your attention on helping palestine and boycotting the contest. do NOT vote. that's giving the EBU money, which is a zionist organization willing to disgrace the contest to let israel use it as a propaganda platform. they don't deserve your money.

boycott eurovision. no watching, no voting.

donate to the world central kitchen, whose aid workers were murdered by israel while attempting to help palestinians.

[modmad]

skibidi toilet opinions?

HAVING WATCHED. EVERY EPISODE JUST TO KNOW WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON which is still something outside of my general interest (hyper violent war explosion world w occasional eye stabbing not my flavour) however!!! truly amazing. a landmark creation. seeing how it started and how the maker just went Bigger and Bigger Yes And Also to the point that they are now making widescreen movie-like minutes long Hollywood spectacle films (bring back the lighting and clarity though dafuck you don't need to copy that bit you're clearly better than that) with Extensive Internal Logic and Lore and yet still dipping a toe into the silly now and again to hark back to its roots and reaffirm the fact that these are, in fact, heads in toilets. Gone a bit grimdark but you know what it's fully within the parody of the genre and anyway when you've made as much as this I respect it. I can 100% understand why kids went bananas about this 10/10 taking something to its ultimate end and then upping it to an extreme. Also looking at the dates each release came out at HOW did so much get made so fast. Nobody can dunk on this without understanding the amount of WORK that has gone into it. Outrageous levels. also the tv heads are so funny hehe my fav >v<

[madebycoffee]

The person who get 0 notes just wants a few. The person who gets a few notes wants just to get to double digits. The person getting double digits thinks it's not good enough unless it's getting near 30 or 50. the person getting THAT is wanting to get to triple digits. The people getting triple digits think their posts are failing if they get double digits.

If you have a post that takes off one day, the one you post next doesn't do as well you think you've failed. But... that's just how engagement works??? Sometimes things are going to hit better, and usually you will NEVER be able to guess which one takes off. It surprises me that one of my all time most downloaded posepacks are the super boring 'confessional' poses. Or that a silly post I make half assed super late gets a bunch of attention when something I'm really proud of doesn't even get a reblog.

I posted for like two years straight on my simblr and only 1 person was reading it and liking it at the time. One. Now I get at least 10 people! And they'll reply to posts semi regularly!! That's incredible to me! Would I like the level of conversations I see happening in other people's notes? Obviously, that'd be so much fun! But it's ok that I don't have that. Maybe I will one day!

It's going to take time to build an audience. My legacy on my simblr has been going for nearly 7 years, and I would only say within the last year or so I have any sort of an audience. I've seen many people leave and join and leave simblr again in that time. There are lulls on simblr when people are less active.

I guess what I'm getting at is yeah, you're probably always going to want more than what you already have. But I find that it means more to me when some of my favorite mutuals or friends on here reply to a post of mine than if it gets 100 notes. 🤸‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[ohbabydollie]

another teacher!schlatt idea: letting his class do “literary hot take” powerpoints, and they all go a little like this:

“why algernon is just oscar wilde’s fanfic insert”

“clueless is better than jane austen’s ‘emma’”

“even mr. schlatt has more rizz than shakespeare”

he let the underclass men that had a few weeks left to do a silly little project and present at the end of the school year, just for fun but also needing to be decently educational related, so they got their “literary hot takes” project, mostly a completion grade.

he was slightly nervous as he gave next to no requirements besides n 1. powerpoint, n 2. related to literature in some way and n 3. don’t make it boring (i have to sit through over 50 of these)

and the students had fun with this one, making the most out of pocket titles, the worst topics known to mankind, etc.

some of the worst include “how 9/11 is to be blamed for the downfall of literacy” “shakespeare if he was alpha male rizzlord gyatt level 100” “why i believe we should have the vamp kids and furries reenact twilight for next years autumn school play” “why fanfiction should be considered literature within school (unban a03, wattpad and tumblr)”

and more titles that he considered to be absolute brain rot that he enjoyed watching, but his favorite was from the kid who always turned in their assignments late, never bothering to turn them in on the exact day they’re do, always a day or two after. they had gotten their assignment done in class the day it was assigned, fixing and making it look nice within the next few classes.

schlatt was curious as to what they would create until he saw them putting up their presentation, “why mr. schlatt has more rizz than shakespeare”

schlatt just expected a bs sort of assignment, maybe half assed from them, but instead they presented a powerpoint so well written that he was almost in shock

he was intently listening and even clapped when it was done

it had everything from what was known about your meeting with him to being caught in public with you, with things he had said in quotes, dates and the comparison to shakespeare was absolutely magnificent. well written, well made, it was an 11/10, he absolutely loved it.

when the day was done he went to your room and showed you the powerpoint

yeah that kid definitely got extra credit

[gdbatbitch]

TL;DR Please, please. I’m at the absolute end of my rope and can use all the help I can get. Also, just putting out there for those that prefer alternates: my PayPal is dextra.hoffman@gmail.com, Venmo is @Dextra-Hoffman, and CashApp is $DextraDawn. Thanks y’all.

I wish I had the spoons to talk about how horrible I have been feeling the last few weeks in real time. Especially the last 3 weeks. You don’t realize how much one little gland will mess up your entire existence until it’s defective or gone. I’ve been without my thyroid for 10 months now. And I’m still suffering the repercussions of it. 

My biggest issue is my TSH levels. I’ve had to have dosage adjustments twice since January, and each time it results in weeks of adjustment time, and a good portion of that, I’ve been completely laid out because of being unable to function. The symptoms can vary, but generally involve massive fatigue, nausea, hot flashes and cold spells/sweats that I’m not able to control and barely able to combat, dehydration, weakness, and just having that feeling you get with a high fever and a flu where you feel half in and half out of reality and not sure if you’re actually alive or you’re a ghost. 

Also because these hormones think they’re that special, they also affect my mental health by spiking my adrenaline levels and triggering my anxiety. My anxiety alone can shut me down for days. It’s been well documented. So the physical symptoms would trigger my anxiety. I have a really high pain tolerance, but sickness not so much. And I have never felt sicker in my life than I have in the last month. So not only was I feeling like I was dying, I was terrified the entire time.

I’ve not gone into great detail about it openly because it was so scary, and I know when I’m in panic mode I can’t really trust my own mind to determine the seriousness of a situation. So I kept it quiet, at least quiet for me. 

Of course, all of this has completely destroyed my plans of getting back to work and out of this poverty rut I’ve been in for months. I had a job lined up, but the start date was right in the middle of my being incapacitated. I tried to work with the company to push back my start date, but that didn’t happen. I’m in the midst of interviewing for a job that would be absolutely perfect, but I’m still waiting for next steps on their part. Aside from those, as anyone currently seeking a job will tell you, it’s abysmal out there. I’ve applied for over a hundred jobs in the last 4 months and I’ve barely gotten any responses. 

I’ve been asked if I’m going to be doing art commissions, and if I were more capable, sure. I’d be silly not to try. But I’ve not been anything close to capable for weeks. I’ve only been back to 100% for a few days now, and even that has been sketchy. So I’m putting a pin in that for now, at least until I can knock out a sketch or two to knock the rust off. 

I was hoping to be done with fundraising, it’s so nerve-racking. But right now, my survival is in peril. I just submitted a request for what will be my last unemployment payout. It wasn’t much, but it was barely keeping me afloat. After that, I’m kinda screwed unless I can figure something out. 

I still haven’t made rent for August, my car payment is late, I’ve got bills up to my ears and I’m just worried that I’m not going to have those things very very soon if I can’t keep up. If I can at least hit the goal on the fundraiser, that can keep me going until I can get back to work (fingers crossed). 

I’ve been struggling with asking for help for a while now because I feel like I’ve been holding my hat out for far too long, but I don’t really have a choice anymore. I’ve also been struggling with a lot of internalized ableism as well because I know I’m disabled and shouldn’t push myself as hard as I do. But that’s a rant for another time.

Please, please. I’m at the absolute end of my rope and can use all the help I can get. Also, just putting out there for those that prefer alternates: my PayPal is dextra.hoffman@gmail.com, Venmo is @Dextra-Hoffman, and CashApp is $DextraDawn. Thanks y’all.

[chocostrawberryb]

SPOILER ALERT

The hazbin leaks were so disappointing idk where to begin

At this point we all saw them, other than the annoyance of the spoiler they arcs are just infuriating.

Lute is OK, predictable yet interesting and her song the whole hallucinating Adam thing is amazing

Idk wether the angeldust one is real but why does his entire character revolve around husk rn? How does that relate to independently finding himself outside Valentinos influence?

The heaven speaker thing, idk I feel like her not giving sera any sort of retribution for breaking the extermination scedual is just weird

THE ALASTOR ONE GOD

If yk me you know I disapprove of how hazbin over simplifies everything, for a series that had an entire amazon elected team aince 2019 and a niche little team beforehand I swear ao3 writers are where I find my solace from how dumb and surface level everything is

Alastor specifically as a character had so much potential in the pilot, even more so in the show.

Just read those alastor centric fanfics and you'll know, the indominitavke human soul a prime example of how much his character should be improved, cannon al is not my al in short 🥲

First off cannon al PISSES ME OFF who wrote him? A 10 year old?

ROSIE

She's a cannibal woman who has no business dabbling in voodoo or radio so her giving al his powers doesn't make sense so the only other outcome? She gave him a generic powerboost through souls

Also fym she doesn't exactly make headlines yet gave him enough power to kill the most powerful souls there were?

This means he ALREADY spawned powerful and pretty smart, meaning she merely has monopoly over his existing power

Nothing good could come out of this seriously it's just shock value

Also PUH LEASE

A guy who has control over radio waves and consequentially electricity, fire, etc kidnapped bu frigging vox? How and what does this serve?

The little snippet interaction between alastor and lucifer, you wanna convince me this is a 100 something year old guy who probably faced ever hardship there is and a celestial being as old as time?

This is now veering from silly to infuriating

Please someone else adopt the show I'll do your sketches and redesigns promise

(Get an animation team tho)

[sloilan]

I want to rate the silly ships like people have been doing so I will (my memory of them in canon is so bad) 

Percabeth: 9/10

by far one of the best ships in pjo, but there are times where the "tough love" is just too tough for me

Jiper/Jasper: 3/10

I don't remember much about this ship at all but it was a little cute? It did feel very fabricated with it being forced by Hera & I found Piper's heart eyes at Jason 24/7 annoying as hell- 

Frazel: 4/10

it was cute, but that could just be the characters lol I wish we saw them more developing their crushes on each other instead of Percy showing up and being like "oh these guys like each other lol" 

I don't like the age gap at all tho, it might just be like 2-3 years but when you're a teen that's a BEEG difference in brain development and maturity levels etc. 

Caleo: -100/10

no, just no. I can not even begin to explain why it is so bad and toxic. Richardio really saw Percabeth pop off and was like "let me do that again!" and made the most toxic ship i could find fr. Me and my homies hate Calypso frfr. Even if all their interactions were rewritten so that Calypso isn't constantly talking over and shutting down anything and everything Leo does I dislike it still because it just plays into the damsel in distress x savior knight which i do not like at allll 

Solangelo: 1/10

they had slight potential in blood of olympus (and that's me being nice) but otherwise everything after that just felt so stale, fake, cringey, and toxic. 

Will's character lacks,,, well, character. If you want to construct a relationship with characters you need them to be people in the first place- and not just a "__'s boyfriend!" 

It also just feels like those 13 yr olds in school that are so obnoxiously lovey in class and then they break up after a week you know what i mean? I have more to say but these are getting long-

Solangelo (in fanon): 8/10 

Hell yeah. Most of the fan content ive seen from solangelo has been DRASTICALLY better than canon, they actually make Will feel more like a concrete person, they give proper chemistry/shared interests to him & Nico, and overall it just flows better? Idk (big fan of when people make Will freakier than Nico, my favorite flavor of Will) 

Pernico: 2/10

I can see it? But I don't like it. They have so much built up miscommunication and bad memories from each other (Percy literally tried to strangle Nico to death) also the same with Frazel; I don't like the age gaps while theyre teens 

Jasico: 8/10

I get this one, but I really see them as more like besties, so I don't partake in it too much. Otherwise it's great. 

Valdangelo: 10/10

I am biased, but good looorrrd the potential :(( the similarities of them, both being the outcasts and just heguehfh i love them 

Valgrace: 8/10

same as Jasico, i see them as bros way too much but I don't deny it's a banger ship too. 

Shelper: 1/10

I feel the same way with this as i do Solangelo, there's no character for Shel, it's just Piper and "Piper's gf!!" Rick is so bad at writing queer rep, he just picks main characters and slaps a random blank slate character onto their side and thinks he ate, but he's just desperate for queer brownie points. 

Feirrochase: 10/10

I DON'T REMEMBER THEM BUT I LOVE THEM!! 

[lookatmysillies]

Character Intimacy Levels: S39 Pt. 2 of 2

Based on the character intimacy percentages from the art book. Covering my characters’ intimacy levels with characters they have notable relationships with within and outside of their classes. This is part 2 for my S39 kids, then there’ll be Non-Competitors (Eddy and Itsaso), S40 (Naz and Yael), and S41 (Light and Halo).

Himei

Tallis: 100% You’ve always been so authentic, whether you like it or not. …I like being needed by you.

Tov: 98% My best friend—more than a best friend? You’re more strong-willed than Tallis. It’s harder to control and keep you where I know you’re safe.

Dian: 95% My less complicated best friend, haha! I feel like I can tell you anything. Well—most everything.

Hayate: 70% I love you. I will always love you. But you’re wrong.

Rose: 67% We used to clash a lot. It’s funny to remember those times, actually.

Moran: 52% One of Tov’s friends and I like to think one of my friends too! You’re the first classmate I met when we were in those containers. You do make me a little sad sometimes…

Min: 50% I wish we could dance again, Min…

Nyx: 30% Silly, reticent boy! Poor DiDi is head over heels for you and you have no idea.

Lark: 16% I didn’t even think much of you until… well.

Leona: 10% Strange…

Ellie: 10% I’m not much of a fan.

Noora: 8% I will never forgive myself, for what little it’s worth.

Halo: 1% I know you’re supposed to be some kind of replacement for me. Good luck, child. It’s not as great as it looks.

Cirrus: 1% It should’ve been me.

Daiki: 1% You bring out the worst in me.

Kyo

Castor: 99% I love you, Castor. And I have no idea how to reach you.

Nyx: 85% Cas has tried to sway me into mentoring way too many next class kids with him, but you I genuinely like. I want to protect you.

Haneul: 80% You pay a lot of attention to me, which I’m not really used to… it’s nice, though.

Evon: 70% I could sit with you for hours in comfortable silence.

Faolan: 70% So cool…

Jae: 36% Err, you’re a little tiring. Nice though.

Azure: 33% You’re not as bad as Cas thinks. I feel bad for you, to be honest.

Akane: 30% I find a kindred spirit in you, Akane.

Aegaeon: 20% You annoy me.

Tagging: @ivanttakethis for Tov. @imperfectnothing for Nyx, Dian, Han, and Fao. @rosedeleca for Rose. @geospiral for Moran. @starry-skiez for Min. @kamersona for Lark and Noora. @bittersweet-adagio for Ellie. @cirrusoftheclouds for Cirrus. @daiki1k for Daiki. @kofeedoggo for Jae and Evon. @azureitri for Azure. @aakaneeee for Akane. @14-alc for Aegaeon.

[thegreatyin]

Your posts about Fallen London are slowly tempting me into playing it- do you have any tips to start or is it best to play it completely blind?

i have a few tips and tricks! mind you im far from a veteran and i basically got my hand held by tumblr for most of the game so take everything with a grain of salt. you can and should do whatever you want always. i don't personally play it blind, but you may get more enjoyment out of it if you do, and that's awesome and im super happy for you. this is what i can say from experience:

take your time with it. this is like. the numero uno fallen london tip. it's not a game where you rush to the end in a week. it's a game where you do 10-minute-intervals of a marathon to the end in maybe a few months if you know what you're doing. spending money on action refills usually isn't worth it when you can just mosey on through neathly life one storylet at a time. a vast majority of the game's content is completely free to everyone, and while the monthly subscription options are pretty neat and let you play some exclusive story stuff (that can be pretty fire- cricket anyone basically defined the scoundrel's entire character) none of it is required and 99% of the time you aren't missing out on anything by just taking your time and exploring the neath at your own pace.

you need to raise all of your skills eventually! this is, uh. something im horribly guilty of not following myself. you can (and probably should) pick at least two stats to focus on for your character (most of the time these will be your main ambition stats, aka the closest thing FL has to a main story questline) but eventually you Will be expected to have them all at around the 100 range, minimum. for certain Super Late-game Story Content, watchful 200 is mandatory to start it, so if you have trouble choosing i'd recommend leveling that bad boy first. don't neglect your other stats though!!! don't be like me. don't be like my poor poor neglected shadowy and dangerous. it's too late for me. save yourself.

friends are fun and free and you are legally mandated to exploit them for fun and profit. okay you really aren't mandated to exploit your FL friends list but you totally should anyway just for goofy sillies. to be less jokey about it, while fallen london is primarily a single-player gaming experience, the playerbase is super friendly and super open to helping each other out (especially new players!). go on reddit, ask around on tumblr, get yourself a few buddies and use them as resources to gain items and stats and menace reduction i mean. valued companions that im sure you will treasure forever and definitely not backstab to publish that inflammatory newspaper article you've been cooking up.

on a very loosely similar note, the fallen london wiki is your best friend. yes, we're following stardew rules with this one. this is the kind of game best optimally played with a wiki article or three open in the neighboring tabs so you can follow along and know what is what. there's tons of guides on basically every part of FL, and it's no shame at all to reach out to either it or the wider community if you get stuck or feel lost at something.

if an in-game storylet has bold text, it will never lie to you! except for when it does. but that's very very very rare. you can always trust the bold text. it is always your friend. i prommy. which brings us neatly into our next bulletpoint,

seeking the name is ill-advised because it's the only storyline that can permanently brick your account at its conclusion. don't worry, the ease at which you can avoid this is practically comical, and the game will Always give you multiple chances to opt-out if you somehow accidentally start it anyway. most people make a dedicated alt character entirely for the purpose of sacrificing them to the well of doom. unless you're playing with your eyes closed for multiple months straight, you'll never run into SMEN without deliberately chasing it, and if you somehow get to that point honestly man just ignore this entire bulletpoint and see how far the rabbithole goes. go on. it's friendly :)

batfucking is always the right answer to any problem ever

echoes/the game's standard currency should always be thought of as a method of gaining items rather than a strict hoard of video game dollars. money-making can be super difficult in the earlygame, but it gets exponentially easier as you go further on. you shouldn't be afraid to sell anything you don't need, though personally i'd recommend keeping an "insurance stock" of the most basic items just in case. this includes rostygold, moon-pearls, honey droplets, etc. by-and-large, these are the easiest items to get in a pinch, and it usually isn't worth buying them from the bazaar when you can otherwise get them naturally through other methods around london. once you've got a good lodgings setup and feel decently familiar with the earlygame zones and their options, you should aim to have at minimum 1,000 of these bad boys on hand at any given time, then feel free to sell any excess you make for some quick cash in a pinch.

menaces aren't as bad as you may think, but be wary of specifically suspicion! the four main menace qualities you'll encounter in the earlygame are nightmares, wounds, scandal, and suspicion. when one of these menace stacks reach 8, you'll automatically be trapped in a unique location corresponding to whatever menace you raised too high and will have to spend time working your way out. some (nightmares and wounds) tend to fly-by rather quickly, while others (scandal and suspicion) tend to take a bit longer to get out of. none of these mean the end of your playthrough or your character, and some quests even require you to visit certain menace-exclusive locations! there are tons of items and ways to reduce menaces and keep yourself out of Situations such as these, but suspicion in particular is probably the only menace you should avoid maxing At All Costs. when your suspicion gets too high and you get sent to its special menace zone too often, you build up a criminal record that makes it harder to reduce suspicion in the future. fortunately, suspicion is the only menace with this gimmick, and before this record gets too high it's just as easy to keep row as the rest of the lot. TLDR, death from wounds is easy to escape from, but avoiding the strongarm of the law is substantially more annoying and inconvenient.

or you could be like tumblr user @with-bells-upon, who's apparently avoided death at all costs and apparently hasn't died once in the entire several months they've been playing. i don't even know how they've gotten this far without doing that. it's kind of impressive, kind of funny. especially since their ambition is one the few requiring you to die to proceed. this isn't a piece of advice i just wanted to affectionately call them out because what the heck

speaking of ambitions, pick the ambition that's right for you! ambitions are the biggest overarching questline in the game, and their requirements and rewards span the entire neath and occasionally even beyond. all four ambitions are meant to be started early and last well into the mid and late game. outside of a certain special situation regarding the light fingers ambition (the only ambition that explicitly lies to you in-game when describing its premise) you can't change your ambition without spending money, so choose carefully and choose well. they're all (mostly) equally rewarding and equally fulfilling adventures that will define your player character and your journey through the neath. there's tons of advice and spoiler-free summaries of each ambition online, so i won't cover it all here. just do your research (or don't, if you prefer) and follow your heart. maybe playing the world's most high-stake poker game ever speaks to you. maybe you want to commit a murder. maybe you want to commit a murder in the name of justice and/or revenge. maybe you just want a really really big really really shiny rock. all can be found in the neath, and all shall (eventually) be well.

if you buy 400 lucky weasels you get a special achievement. i don't need to say more.

make up a guy. this is another legal mandate if you're a fallen london player. you have to make up your own little sicko victorian london guy and roleplay them while you play. trust me. it's fun. it's free. they're going to haunt you forever. the scoundrel got a nickname like 4 months ago and ever since my mind has never known peace.

and probably most important of all, fallen london might not be the game for you, and that's okay. it includes a lot of reading. and grinding. and i do mean a lot of reading and grinding. particularly the latter, which tends to throw people off the most out of anything. it's a very niche game for a very niche audience and getting into it can be an acquired taste at the best of times. but when you do get into it, it's some Really good writing and Really in-depth worldbuilding and the most fun you'll ever have imagining sicko victorian guys running around building train stations and railway tracks directly to hell. take your time, have fun, and most important of all, always look to love.

anyway yeah that's my fallen london tips and tricks list isn't it really short and comprehendible

[oneknightstand-if]

silly sweet cloudcuckoolander times

Leyline: Safe | RV Sabotage: False | RV Window: Not Broken | Rock, Paper, Scissors Champion: true

New Inventory: Iron Shard

Thievery? false | Whomp? false | Wanted? true

Merlin Affinity 74 | Flirt Bold: 0 | Flirt Subtle: 1

Adrian Affinity: 100 | Flirt Bold: 0 | Flirt Subtle: 1

Arthur Affinity: 67 | Flirt Bold: 0 | Flirt Subtle: 0

Percy Affinity: 59 | Soulmate: false | Nickname: McGillicuddy

Magic: 8 Physical: 15 Mental: 46 Charisma: 10

Bold : 117 Sweet : 168 Sassy : 156 Optimist : 87

Caution : 17 Will : 9 Denial : -2 Cloudcuckoolanderness : 64 Silent : 8 Fear Level : 4

Whoo, it's the first of the Chapter 2-3 stats. And the first report of successfully becoming Percy's soulmate. Which I should probably not post in public until the Open Beta release.