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fictionalgap · 10 months

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Roommate: Too sick (chapter 1)

Pairing: Hazel Callahan x Reader

Summary: Hazel, you, PJ and Josie got accepted in the same college and were living together. You didn't know that Hazel was such a mother hen till you became roommates. You tried not to get too flustered while she took care of you.

Warning: 18+ Themes

Warning: Swearing. Mentions of vibrators and alcohol. This fic most likely contain smut scenes in later chapters.

Other Chapters: Chapter 2 , Chapter 3 , Chapter 4 , Chapter 5

Song Recommendation: Crush - Tessa Violet

PJ, Josie, Hazel and you all wanted to go to same college and accepted which you all were super excited about. It has been months since you share the same place. Four rooms, living room and kitchen are combined and two bathrooms. Of course only one has a shower. But still thank god It's two bathrooms.

It has been a real experience living with them for you.

It's usually Josie and you who cooks. PJ and Hazel were officially banned from the kitchen. Well, not the fridge. But you know, the stove…

It was decided by Josie and you when Hazel and PJ tried to make Hazel's grandmother's recipe. They were alone at home when it happened. PJ wanted to help Hazel to cook, for the first time in forever and it did not end well. You were the first one who found out this incident. You were going to a friend's to study but you realized you forgot your phone at your guys place so you went back and saw the the huge ass smoke and firefighters and a frantic Hazel and PJ on the street.

Sundays were cleaning days. Everyone cleaned their own room, except PJ. Her room was the messiest and most dust producing room which made the whole place worse. All of you argued with her regularly about this but she swore that she cleaned it regularly.

One time she took Hazel's shirt to wear it for a date which she never asked Hazel If she could take it and of course PJ being PJ, forgot to give her shirt back.

"Ugh, I couldn't find it, okay. Just look into my room."

"What do you mean look into your room? If I go there, I don't know If I will be able to come back! Have you seen your room?"

"It's literally a black hole that is disguised as a pile of stuff." You stated with a smirk.

"It's a PJ hol-" Josie was about to smugly say,

"Okay! That's enough! I got it, okay!" until PJ interrupted Josie.

You told Hazel you would help her looking for her shirt which was an encouragement for her cause God knows, It takes lots of courage to go in that room.

You and Hazel started to look for the shirt in PJ's room.

"Oh…Oh my god! OH MY GOD!" Hazel shouted. Hazel put her hands onto her head and moved backwards with worried eyes.

"What? You found i-, Oh my god! What is this!" Hazel gagged as she sat down on the floor and you looked at the thing for a while, not believing what you see.

You snorted and laughed hysterically. "Josie! Josie, come here!" You screamed and held your stomach as Hazel groaned as she was in pain.

"What? Guys, why are you-, Hazel are you okay?" Josie kneeled down next to Hazel.

"I wish I never came here." Hazel's bottom lip quiverred as her eyes got teary. She layed on the floor in fetal position, color drenched out her skin.

Josie left Hazel's side to see what you were trying to show her and she saw the 'thing' and froze in her place like three minutes then PJ came into the room.

The 'thing' was a vibrator. A baby blue vibrator with a silicone layer which was covered a mild green to a dark green mold. Plus tiny flies were on it. You didn't know how many.

"What's this all fuss about, huh? My room's messy I got i-. Hey, I was looking for this… I guess I have to get a new one." she sighed and got out of the room with a moldy vibrator.

"You guess?" you aand Hazel shouted at the same time.

We all got out of her room. Hazel recovered from this incident once she calmed down. As for Josie, we all knew she would never be the same after this incident. Except PJ, who thinks vibrators getting moldy is only natural so she didin't understand the trauma she caused.

Hazel never found her shirt as PJ never cleaned her room. You thought she wouldn't want it back anyways.

You would still laugh whenever you remembered this.

College was never really boring with your roommates. You thought your friends at college were cool but your roommates were TRULY one in a million.

For you, Hazel was one of a kind.

You knew you needed to wear something more suitable for autumn but you didn't want to look like a buritto, going to the parties. It had a cost.

You coughed and it sounded like as If you were an animal who's in pain and about to die. You sneezed into the poor napkin as you layed down on your bed. 'How It was possible to be tired while you were laying down all day?' you thought as you sneezed again. You got up and opened the window. It was cold but you needed fresh air too.

You were upset that you missed your classes. You mailed your professors and they let you know It's okay. You would take your notes from your friends anyway.

You thought of last night. PJ interrupted Hazel's studying last evening, again. You were glad that you studied at library earlier. It was quiet and PJ-free. You liked your friend but she usually would convince you all to watch a movie, play a board game or go to a party. Or she would simply talk to you not caring If you listen or not.

Flashback

"Come on! Barry is giving a huge ass party. There is booze, there are girls, there are-"

"PJ, you are with Brittany. You remember, right? " Josie interrupted.

"Yeah…but no one says you can't look. I am not gonna eat them. I'll just… observe them. Just a small feast for my eyes since she decided to went to a college far away." PJ crossed her arms with a frown.

"You can always video chat with her." Hazel pouted.

"It's not the same thing, Hazel!" PJ yelled, frustrated.

"Yeah but what would she feel If one of us accidentally told her what you have said about party and girls and observing them…" you said with a playful smirk.

PJ raised her brows. "I'd probably beat the shit out of you."

"Ugh, that's harsh." you scoffed.

"Anyways, we should get ready. Move your asses, now!" PJ said as she walked to her room to get ready for the party.

"Are you going, Y/N?" she looked at you with puppy eyes.

"Yeah… I would try to convince you to come but I don't want to interrupt your studying." you said with sad eyes.

Hazel played with her rings. " I had swimming practice. If I wouldn't, I could study with you earlier."

"Study with me?" You raised brow. How did she knew you studied? Did she saw you?

"Yeah…library is on the way to pool so… a-and you always study on the same corner next to window." She played with her rings nervously.

'She saw me all the times...' you gulped to the thought. You looked at her hands, not being able to face her. She was playing with her rings nervously until she catched you watching them. Three, maybe four seconds passed when you realized she saw that you were looking at her hands. It could be just because you liked her rings.

In a totally straight way, obviously.

You averted your gaze and got up from your seat. "I didn't realize you saw me." you chuckled nervously.

"Yeah…I never told you and you look very focused during studying so…" she nodded her head to herself.

"Hm…we can always study another time If you'd like… Well, not here though, cause-"

"PJ?" she smiled widely.

"Yeah." You answered her smile with yours.

"I am going to change now. Have a good study session." you said and walked to your room to change your clothes.

You walked to your room and after spending five minutes in front of your wardrobe, you wore a white crop top, black baggy jeans, black converse and a black denim jacket. You left your hair down.

"Nice…" PJ said with a smirk.

"Thanks. You too." You checked her clothes.

"Isn't that a little bit thin though? You might get cold." Hazel said pointing your crop top. You blushed at what she said.

She was changed her clothes as well.

Josie pointed at Hazel. "Are you coming?"

"Yep."

PJ smirked coyly." That's the spirit!"

"Weren't you going to study?" you raised a brow.

"I'll study tomorrow. I'm not gonna drink much tonight, anyways." she said, looking at your clothes. "Really, Y/N, you'll get sick. "

"It's fine… We have a ride." you sighed.

"Even I don't worry that much for my girlfriend, Hazel." PJ wiggled her brows playfully with a smirk.

You couldn't help but blushed at what PJ said. You saw Hazel was looking down at her shoes and Josie was smiling at both of you.

Josie's smile ended with her phone ring. "Our ride is here. Let's go."

End of the flashback

You didn't know If this was cold or flu but Hazel was right.

You got sick and everything hurt. Moving hurt. Your head hurt. Your eyes felt like they were pierced. Your ears hurt. You could hardly breathe. Whatever this was, It was draining the shit out of you. You hated that you were wrong but you loved that Hazel was all around you. You also felt guilty about it cause she was interrupting her studying by checking up on you, getting you water, food, making you herbal teas every half an hour…

The thing about Hazel, she turns into a mother hen whenever someone gets sick. Especially when you were sick. You thought it was because you were closer with her than PJ and Josie.

You still rememeber the first week of moving here, you had a migraine attack. She went to the pharmacy without anyone noticing and came back with painkillers and a migraine stick.

And she massaged your temple till you fell aslept. You didn't know If you imagined something touching on your forehead. Preferably her lips. But you thought It was probably a fantasy of yours or a dream.

Of course, you were very pleased with her taking care of you. So you didn't mind getting sick. Maybe even It led you to wear thinner clothes. Not on purpose though.

Subconsciously.

You didn't really wanted to admit it but the idea of someone taking care of you, turned you on a little bit.

The idea of Hazel taking care of you, burned and twisted the parts of you, which you never knew that existed because you had a slight crush on her.

Just a tiny one…

Hazel knocked the door three times.

"Come in." your voice came out shaky.

Hazel came into your room with a smile.

"Hazel you don't have to check up on me every hour." you coughed as you said.

Hazel grabbed a chair with her one hand and placed it next your bed with a smile. She became more musclar and the veins on her arms looked like they were going to pop since she decided to join the college's swimming team. You were very enthusiastic about her decision.

She had a bowl in her hand. You looked up to her and saw her pouting.

"I'm so close thinking you don't want me here, Y/N."

'Well, fuck me!' you cursed to yourself for making her think that. You didn't think she was joking.

"Of course I want you here, Haze. It's just you couldn't study last night and now you can't study because of me." you explained quickly.

She grinned. "I know you do. And I am studying very well and I need breaks too, you know."

She usually took things at face value so It made you shocked to see her saying something without meaning it.

"Well you said it seriously so I thought-"

"I was joking." She took the strand of hair which was front of your nose and placed it behind your ear.

She beamed at you for a half a minute. You felt your heart beating very fast.

"Yeah… What's that?" you pointed to the bowl in her hand.

You noticed a spoon in Hazel's hand and the bowl was smelling really good.

"Chicken soup. I squeezed some lemon in it too."

Your eyes widen at what she has just said.

"No, no, no! I didn't make it! I ordered it. Don't worry. I made a promise to you and Josie and I remember." Her eyes widened as well.

You chuckled. "Okay. Cool. Uhm,… thank you Hazel." You sit up staright in your bed and you were going to took the bowl from Hazel's hand but she didn't give it to you.

"Ugh…?" You have her a confusing look.

"Let me feed you, please. " She made a puppy face.

"Y-you don't have to." you stuttered. Honestly, even your arms hurt when you moved them. And you would definitely not mind her feeding you. It was just you were afraid to make a fool of yourself.

"You seem really tired. Come on. " She pouted again.

"Ugh…okay but stop making that face." you said you averted your gaze.

"What face?" she grinned. Maybe she actually knew what she was doing.

"You know what you're doing, don't you?" She ignored your question and sighed as she blew the soup little to make it colder.

"Open up." she smiled as she held the spoon full of soup to you.

You drinked the soup and It was delicious. You would drink whatever she gave anyway.

"Thank you Hazel. Soup felt really good." you smiled gratefully to her. Your cheeks burned but It was okay that your cheeks were pink because you were sick so she wouldn't think it that way.

"Of course. Least I can do." She smiled at you for a moment as you held eye contact with her. "Oh, I forgot the vitamin!" she said as she got up and left your room.

"What? You ordered vitamin too?" you yelled for her to hear you from the other room.

She came back with a vitamin c supplement in her hand.

"No, I went to the pharmacy."

"Hazel you spent too much time. You go study now!" You scolded her.

"Okay, okay! And It was a ten minute walk. It's not much. Plus walking in fresh air is a good break time."

"Here." She held the vitamin your lips and you felt bold and took it with your lips while keeping eye contact with her.

It was awkward.

In a sexy way.

Her body froze except her eyelids, they blinked a couple of times until she gave you a glass of water to swallow the pill.

She cleared her throat. "So, I'll go study now. If there is anything you need-"

"I'll tell you. I know."

"Okay." she said as she rushed out of the room.

'Fuck.' you told yourself and laid down on your back as you wait for sleep.

#hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan fanfiction #hazel callahan #bottoms movie #bottoms hazel #bottoms 2023 #lgbtq #sapphic

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fanaticsnail · 8 months

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Your Flirty Chef

(Image Source)

Masterlist Here.

Word Count: 4,267

Synopsis: Sanji has been working hard lately, your flirty chef no longer as present as you’d like him to be. You both have some unspoken flirtation between you, hopefully something to shatter by molding him beneath the touch of your hands.

Themes: Sanji x reader, mutual pining, idiots in love, flirtation, cooking, kissing, touching, massage, moaning, Sanji is a whimpering mess, suggestive themes, Baratie.

Notes: This was a gift created for the lovely @vespidphoenix who adores my 'Bar Shift' series. We're back home at Baratie! I hope you enjoy!

Tag List: @sordidmusings @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @since-im-already-here @feral-artistry

The light danced from the open bay windows across the circular polished floorboards, the wax allowing for a wonderful grip beneath your black, closed toe work-shoes. The handles of the porcelain tray began to heat beneath your palms and fingertips, the foamed milk and cream jiggling with each careful footstep you placed on the ground.

You noticed first the depiction of the business of the kitchen staff through the circular windows attached to the doors, the smoke and flames rising to char the dish within the pans. You caught the eyeroll of your favorite blonde coworker as he shook his head, refusing to take direction from your boss and head chef of Baratie.

“Alright boys, coffee time. Take a break!” you called after making your way through the swinging double doors to the kitchen. Immediately, pre-service was paused as a pile of hardened ex-pirates enthusiastically made their way to the pass.

Echoes of praise rang from the kitchen upon your utterances, all occurring simultaneously as grabbing hands eagerly pried the dishes within your tray as you placed it down.

“Truly a lifesaver, Doll,” Carne praised, claiming his piccolo-latte from the tray and raising it to his lips in one quick swig.

“Oh, my sweetheart. Thank you, Love,” Patty shot you a winning smile, raising his extra strong flat-white from the tray and scuttling back over to his patisserie station.

“Something there for me, Honey?” Zeff asked, the click and scrape of his pegleg and boot heel knocking against the floor prompted you to gather his long-black coffee and hand it off to him personally with a small bow.

“Of course, Chef,” you smiled at him, handing it over and turning back to the tray to witness the depletion of the amassment of coffees you’d prepared; only two now remaining. Sanji was in the middle of temperature controlling whisked egg whites and scorching sugar, unable to halt his whipping to claim his regular hit of caffeine from you.

“Just leave it on the table, Dove. I’ll be over in a second, okay?” Sanji’s brows were furrowed in concentration, the stainless steel bowl held firmly in his left hand and cradled against his chest. Soft peaks of white, fluffy meringue began to form within the bowl, his right hand continuing to beat in absolute concentration in a rotational way.

“You want to take it outside when you're done, Ji? Have smoko?” you asked him, removing the two mugs and placing it on the tray. Sanji scoffed back a small chuckle, flicking his hair away from his eyes as he continued whisking.

“Please, and thank you. I’ll be out in about a minute thirty? Just gotta start on the macaroons, then I’m on my quarter,” He broke his concentration on the bowl below him, flicking his cool-gray eyes over to you and watching as you began wiping down the tray, and claiming the emptied cups within to return to the bar.

As you left the kitchen, Sanji continued to watch your departure through his peripherals while meeting optimum temperature for the egg whites. He paddled the mixture with a silicone spatula into a plastic piping bag and rotated the end to hold the pressure in place, leaving it neatly to the side of his workstation to complete forming the macaroons after his break.

“On your quarter, Little Eggplant?” Zeff asked, brow raising as he took a sip from his strong coffee. Eyeing his apprentice suspiciously, he looked him over as Sanji removed his apron and neckerchief to relax on his break.

“Oui, chef,” he smirked, hanging his apron on his designated hook and halting once more at the door, “that alright with you, old man?”

“Fine by me, boy. Just-,” Zeff had an almost sly twinkle in his eye, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips, “-Just be kind to our bartender, alright?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m always kind,” Sanji retorted, taken aback with his lip curling into a small snarl. A small echo of teetered laughter and snickers reverberated within the walls of the kitchen amongst the clanging of pots and pans.

“You know what I mean, lad,” Zeff grunted, placing his empty coffee cup on the sink beside Carne who had begun washing the crockery, “Off you pop. When you get back, we’re doing Before Service. Start gettin’ it ready, lads! Family Meal in a quarter.”

“Oui Chef!” Echoed in the kitchen, each chef springing to their station to begin getting the elements of their dishes together to present to each other before the rush of the dining service.

Sanji huffed a small sigh, exiting the kitchen and walking over to the fishmouth of the bar where you were waiting for him. Sanji had a small circle of thoughts swirling within his mind, echoing and reverberating the words Zeff had commanded of him. ‘Be kind’? What does ‘be kind’ even mean? Was he not kind? Had he not been kind to you in your interactions prior?

There was never a doubt in Sanji’s mind that he adored you. His affections were showcased in how he regularly sought you out on advice when conflicting with your boss and his mentor, Zeff. You were the one he came to when he had a rush of inspiration in the kitchen, spoon feeding you samples of his amazing cuisine for your constructive criticism or your unwithheld praise.

Just a simple hum and a nod of your head in response to his food had his heart swelling, but when you closed your eyes and a moan was siphoned from your breath had his pupils darkening, and thoughts of lustful interactions with you plagued him. He would lie awake at night thinking about how your lips wrapped around the spoon he presented you, your eyelashes fluttering shut and a small gasp fled from your lips as you reopened them in glee.

And that is when it hit him. As he watched the sun dance on your skin, your fingertips casually dancing along the ropes beneath the hard surface of the bar; he realized what Zeff meant by his suggestion.

Sanji was in love with you.

He was so desperately in love with you, he would do anything to see you smile, to hear your laugh, or to collect one of those hummed moans you’d save only for him when sampling his dishes. He was mad for you, so much so that he charged right through the feeling itself and bypassed all of the warning signs screaming at him to not fall in love with his coworker.

He halted his steps, the spell shattering within him as he came to terms with the feeling swelling within his chest. Sanji was a perpetual flirt, and you would reciprocate his advances in a way that had you both giggling and teetering like idiots. Your natural rapport with one another, the way you bounced off each other on the pass when you worked floor shift, or when you’d fetch him coffees and trial new designs within the foam just for him. The way he would present a meal he had created for Family Meal for everyone, but alter yours in a way that showed how much he truly adored you with its careful assembly.

Sanji was in love with you.

Looking over your shoulder, your body remaining presented to the water and the docks, you noticed Sanji staggering in the shadows of the fishmouth bar with his footsteps halting. You furrowed your brows, turning completely around and arching your back against the railing of the external bar surrounding the perimeter of the side-bar.

“That you, Ji? Here for your quarter and a smoke?” you asked him, a warm smile pulling at your mouth to welcome him into the area. You thought you heard Sanji cough, a choked sound within the shadows indicating his presence. Your furrow began to descend into a frown while cocking your head to the side, “Coffee’s getting cold, Sweetheart. Come over here and keep me company.”

You were unsure how more obvious you could be regarding your affections for the blonde suis-chef of Baratie. You were a flirt by nature, a job you were hired and paid to complete to build a successful interaction with your clientele. But Sanji. Sanji you got to flirt with for free.

Flirting with Sanji was a competitive sport, and one you championed as the captain of the team and the cheer squad.

It started with a game of chicken; food related innuendos and outrageously crass flirtations offered to fluster one another for entertainment, while completing a particularly grueling shift. It had you both laughing and in high spirits regardless of how little the guests respected you or physically fought with one another during the shift. You adored spending time together, building rapport and learning from one another through your flirtatious nature.

Your favorite pastime was watching Sanji work. The way he rolled his sleeves up slowly to pin by his elbows, the way his forearms stretched and flexed as he julienned vegetables, the concentrated expression of his eyes as he tweezed a piece of gold leaf atop a caramel fudge, with a careful scoop of vanilla ice cream melting on the rim.

And then it hit you. The arrow of the winged cupid struck your heart with the pierce of iron as he offered you the first spoonful of a dish he had prepared, and meticulously cared for, specifically for you. Apprehensively wrapping your lips around the spoon and flicking your tongue over the curved edge, you couldn’t help but to moan at both the flavor presented to you, and the expression of complete devotion and the eagerness to please you written all over his face.

You were in love with Sanji.

You couldn’t help the way you felt for him, always aiming to task him with something simple: “Ji, be a sweetheart and hand me that steel jug, please?” to something a little more complex: “Sanji, would you cook that dish for me for Family Meal? The one with the brie and the rillette de canard? I adore that one.” He was a puppy, following your direction and orders with glee, and you were absolutely smitten with him.

Sanji danced his body into the light of the bar, sheepishly not meeting your gaze as he fished out his tobacco pouch from within his trouser pocket. He opened the bag, noticing a small quake in his fingers at the knowledge that now plagued him. What was he meant to do now? Act like he didn’t worship the ground you walked on?

“Sweetheart, why don’t you give that to me and you take a sip of your coffee? I’ll roll you one,” you asked him, reaching your hand over and claiming his right wrist beneath your hand, “You must be tired after all that hand-whisking. You just sit back and enjoy your quarter. I’m on my halfa, and you deserve more time off your feet before we get absolutely railed by the service shift.”

At the term ‘absolutely railed’, Sanji’s mind was racing beyond its capacity. He couldn’t find an appropriate word in his mind to relay onto you in return, simply nodding in confirmation as he handed over his tobacco pouch before standing beside you and watching the ocean dance against the hull of the floating restaurant.

As the sun hit his golden hair, dancing along the glow of his tired and overworked features, you couldn’t help but look at him in awe. The way his eyes closed with his smile as he took the first look at the design you had created for him with the foam, before pressing it to his lips and sipping at it.

You were in love with Sanji.

Setting to work on rolling the cigarette with the wafer thin paper and setting the filter within the side, you placed some of the brown, dried leaves into the fold and rolled it. From the corner of your eye, you watched Sanji’s eyes float down to your lips as you darted your tongue out to dampen the paper. You could’ve sworn you heard a catch in his breath, and a small strangled groan halted within his throat; but surely you were mistaken.

You presented him with the cigarette, placing the filter end within his lips for him and wordlessly asking if you could ignite the tip with your lighter. Sanji’s eyes watched you carefully, nodding his head to give you confirmation to flick your flint and ignite the flame for him. Your eyes softened, cradling the flame as you elevated it to his lips and doused the end with its light to burn through the paper tip at the end.

“You work too hard, Ji,” you commented, a flick of the corner of your lip in a small smirk captivated his gaze further, “It’s made you silent. C’mon now,” you placed the lighter back within your pant pocket, “Where’s that flirty chef I love so much?” Sanji smiled, inhaling the nicotine-riddled smoke as he extended his lungs to capacity.

“I dunno, Dove,” He began on his exhale, eyes closed and head lulling as he savored the feeling, “Your flirty chef might need some convincing to come out and play. I have been pushing myself a bit more today, and I’m beginning to feel it in my bones.” You half-smiled at him, watching as he removed the cigarette and threw back the remainder of his coffee in his mouth and swigging it with one fell gulp.

“Oh, you poor dear,” you pouted, raising your hand up and pressing it gently on his shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze, “What can I do to bring him back?” Sanji groaned at the feeling of contact on his aching muscles, unsure of what came over him to elicit such a wanton sound. Your eyes widened, watching as his face began to contort as he hung his head low, relishing in the contact.

“Let me take some of the weight off?” you suggested, bringing up your other hand to cup his shoulders, maneuvering your body behind him and firmly rotating your thumbs against the meat of his shoulders, “Maybe then my flirty chef will come out to play.” More of those beautiful groans escaped his lips as he succumbed to the ministrations of your fingers, molding and bending his hardened flesh within your hands.

Sanji’s sweet cries of bliss were addictive, more addictive to you than any meal he had presented to you in the months you had worked closely together. The way he cried out in bliss as you found a particularly tender point in the center of his shoulder blade had you gasp out breathily in response. He was a slave to your touch, leaning in as a stray cat would to an affectionate caress.

His cigarette fell from his lips to litter the ground by his shoes, the light extinguishing upon impact and rolling beneath the deck chairs surrounding you. He curved and arched his back into your touch, moaning and crying out as quietly as he could muster, with his mouth agape and a small amount of saliva collecting at the corners of his rapidly drying lips. Sanji’s body was responding a little too well to the simple touch of your hands on his shoulders and back.

“Y-You’re so good-... mmff-... at this. W-Where did you-... oh-h merde-... where did you learn it?” He asked, lulling his head back and inadvertently rested the back of his head against your shoulder while holding onto the railing firmly in his grasp. You giggled, moving your hands beneath his shoulders and coaxing him from the railing to one of the lounging chairs, secluded in the shade of the sails of the wide umbrellas. Although this area was a public space, the lounges were private enough to shield Sanji as he rapidly fell apart in your arms from prying eyes.

“I just know how hard the muscles work to produce the food you do, Ji,” you shrugged, sitting down on the lounge chair and ushering him to sit between your legs with his back to you. Initially, Sanji desired to sit up, his back convexing in a perfect arch to experience more of your touch. But his body had other plans beneath your skilled hands.

He immediately found a more relaxed version of his former position: his head lulling back into your right shoulder as his eyes fluttered shut, your hands now finding rest against his biceps and rotating them beneath your firm grip to work out the kinks.

Sanji had no idea what had come over him. The sounds falling from his lips were desperate, his body pleading and crying for more of your touch as he fell apart from the simple strokes of your hands now trailing up to his chest. You couldn’t get enough, your hands responding faster than your mind could tell it not to in order to find places on his body to have the sweeter sounds of your name rolling off his tongue between gasps and groans.

“Y-You’re-... fuck Dove-... Th-This is really good,” his breathy gasp complimented you, ending with the small pull of a whine within his throat. You tried your hardest to stop the rising heat from flooding to your cheeks at his voice, opting to giggle to relieve some of the tension surfacing.

“You’ve got maybe three minutes before you have to go back, Sanji,” you said, patting him politely on the chest to indicate you were done assaulting him with your affectionate caress. At the small pat, he groaned, chasing the weight of your palm atop his chest by arching his back and pleading with you to continue.

“Just a bit more?” he whined, opening his eyes and lulling his head further into your shoulder to gaze up at you with wide eyes, “Your flirty chef will come back if you do it just a little bit longer, I’m certain.” He smiled with his lips in a tight line, eyes twinkling in hope up at you. You scrunched your nose up at him, your own eyes reflecting his playful twinkle back at him.

“Maybe after the rush?” You suggested with a shrug of your shoulders and another curt tap of his chest. He groaned, slouching down and melting into your torso with the drag of his head. You laughed at him as he continued slinking lower and finally settled his head against your thigh, feet brushing against the ground over the side of the lengthy deck chair you were sharing.

“But that’s so far away,” he groaned, a raspy growl rumbling against his tone. He clapped his hand over his eyes, squeezing his palm and fingertips in the pinch of his eyes before having it fall away from his face and down to his side with a small gasp.

“Makes the waiting all the sweeter,” you cooed down at him. At this, he immediately rose to a sitting position, turning within your lap and gazing at you. His irises were blown, the small tint of pink dusting his cheeks and his lips were slightly parted. There were a thousand unspoken words dancing behind his eyes. The mystery surrounding such a look had you hooked and leaning in to see if a closer proximity would grant you further insight.

At the small lean of your body from the back of the deck chair, Sanji reached his palm up and cupped your cheek, his fingers lacing in your hair, as he guided your lips to be claimed beneath his. A small squeak exited your lips in shock at the gentleness of his touch, eyes wide and watching him as his brows furrowed. A small hum of his lips against yours informed you that he was as shocked about this as you were, but not shocked enough to end the kiss just yet.

He pried your lips apart with his own, tilting his head to nudge you with his chin. You hooked your arms around his neck, pulling him against yourself and reciprocated with enthusiasm; your tongue darting out to meet his own. He chuckled against your lips once he felt you relax into it, flicking his tongue against yours with a groan of appreciation. You nudged him away from you, breaking the meeting of his lips on yours and unhooked your arm from his neck.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you commented, raising your arms up and fixing his ruffled hair. His eyes widened, brows peaking at the center as his lips parted. Focusing on redressing him and straightening up his uniform had your gaze pulled from his, unable to read the absolute heartbreak written all over his face.

Nodding in appreciation at the straightening of his chefs jacket, you finally drew your smiling eyes up to meet his; immediately having your grin fall from your face once meeting with the sorrowful expression painted atop his features.

“Ji, are you okay? What’s wrong?” you asked, cupping his cheek and darting your gaze between his two gray orbs.

“We shouldn’t be doing this?” he whispered quietly, tilting his head down and gazing up at you through his eyelashes. Your eyes widened, smiling lips now falling open with a small shake of your head.

Scrunching your nose, you leant forward and pressed a chaste kiss against his lips which ended with as much haste as it began. You giggled as you felt him chase his lips forward to halt your retraction, but ultimately got away from his approach.

“I meant, you’ve only got about a minute left of your quarter,” you restated, confirming your words while elevating your hand to his chin. You brushed your thumb over his lower lip, dancing over his kiss-swollen lip with your digit. “We shouldn’t be doing this while we have so little time available for us to do so.”

“O-Oh,” Sanji stuttered, the blush once again rising to dance over the apples of his cheeks, tips of his ears and button of his nose. You had never seen such a pretty color gracing his features, your heart swooning at the chef as he attempted to stifle his rising blush.

“Has my flirty chef come back yet?” You asked him with a sly smile, retracting your hand from his face only to be caught within his own.

“Your flirty chef,” he whispered, eyes holding firm to your own as he elevated your knuckles below his lips and pressing a gentle kiss against your skin, “Is going to be flirting with you for the rest of this shift,” he pressed another kiss against the back of your hand, slightly further up than the last, “And hopefully all through Before Service, Family Meal, and Knock Offs,” he uttered between a flurry of pecks and grazes of his lips further up your arm.

Now it was your turn for the hues of warmth to swell beneath your cheeks, ears and nose at his words; becoming flustered further by the animal poised behind his eyes, threatening to ravish you with the intensity depicted beneath. He chuckled as he began showering your cheek with a further flutter of his lips grazing your skin. He halted just before meeting your lips with his, choosing to tease you with a small brush of his own.

“I’m going to cook you something,” he whispered, his breath dancing against your lips, “And you’re going to make those pretty sounds you do so well, hm?” He nodded, pouting his lips and widening his eyes with that innocent yet mischievous twinkle you have come to enjoy him wearing. You couldn’t help but nod in response, mesmerized by the enchantment held within his eyes.

“And then,” he ushered you against the beck of the chair, pressing his torso against yours and continuing to hold his lips an eyelash’s width away from your own, “I’m going show you how flirty your flirty chef can really be.” As you attempted to chase his lips to plant another kiss against his own, he quickly stood to his feet at the call of his name.

“Sanji!” Patty called, “Your macarons are portioned and ready for the oven. Take care of ‘em, would you?” Your breath caught in your throat, Sanji’s blush dissipating at the interruption and his face paling.

“Alright, I’ll be there Patty! Don’t get your knickers in a twist,” he shouted in return, frustration written over his expression.

“C’mon kid, we all know the only knickers you’re keen on seeing are the bartender’s!” He shouted in return, turning and stomping down the hallway towards the kitchen, “Get to it, Chef Zeff’s waiting.” Your eyes widened at the thought, your smirk withholding a small scream of bashful laughter from parting from your lips as your face drew a further flaming heat to it.

Sanji waited a brief moment, inhaling a deep breath through his nose before removing his finger from your lips, tracing it down your chin and tilting your face to meet his eyes. His gaze was doing its best to disguise the horror of having the secret he thought he’d been withholding from surfacing.

“I-I’m sorry,” he quickly stuttered, turning and immediately walking back to the kitchen with haste, the steam almost tangibly falling pouring from his ears as he stampeded away. You were too shocked to laugh, but a small giggle fell regardless.

You could not wait until the rush of service was completed to get to experience the flirtatious fluster of the blond chef after shift hours. Perhaps to even continue what began against the deck chairs in a more quiet and intimate setting.

#one piece #opla #x reader #opla fic #one piece live action #sanji #sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji #black leg sanji #baratie fic #chef!sanji x bartender!reader #flustered sanji #whimpering sanji #op x reader #one piece x reader

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harveywritings92 · 11 months

Text

Soap, on field: Ok, charges are set! everyone cover yer ears it about to get loud! (Cut to him helping Gaz disarm an explosive device.) Right, Gaz carefully remove the outer panel and type in 3412 into the control keypad...(Gaz gives negative feedback) Damn, that didn't work?... Ok, plan B! A hail Mary if ya will, try and cut the green and gold stripe wire on the left side! if it doesn't work? yer free to to haunt m'guilt-ridden arse for all eternity. (the bomb's disarmed beep goes off) Yeh! score one for 141! (Cut away again to him hacking into power grid and shutting off all the lights) All corners are a dark, We're good to go Ghost!

Soap, off field: [Googles how to remove melted plastic from an oven?]

Soap, to Price whose trying scrape the oven: Well I thought cos it was made of silicone and they make silicone baking molds; that it would be fine to cook my pizza with the cutting board...

#call of duty modern warfare incorrect quotes #john soap mactavish #call of duty 2022 #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley

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choco-pudding · 1 month

Text

The Vampire Dies in no Time, Chapter 215. Read text from right to left, do not repost.

(Translations by @lavoszero and myself. Edits and typesetting by myself)

Plain text below

Death 215: An Old Blood Gathering in the World of Eternal Night.

p. 39

Somewhere near Shin-Yokohama, Old Blood vampires gather.

Fwoooooo

Icy smile lord, Northdin Has a powerful charm ability that can captivate anyone. Can also manipulate the cold and freeze anything. A formidable old blood vampire.

Tap

p. 40

Northdin: "Good grief, am I the first to arrive? Draus called me over…"

Rise

Necro-Dealer, Elder Said he can easily create and manipulate a near endless army of ghouls. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

Slump

Elder: "Hey, Northdin, how have you been fairing?" Northdin: "! Elder…" Elder: "Have you grown tired of immortality yet? I'll spare no expense on acquiring your corpse if you have. " Northdin: "Quit it, your necromancy jokes are beyond tiresome." Northdin: "And you're having a ghoul act as your proxy, even at one of our gatherings? Lazy shut-in." Elder: "Oh, how rude of me."

p. 41

Snap Split

Elder: "It's simply too much of a hassle to travel on my own… I'll remain in this shell tonight, but know I'm here nonetheless." Ishikana: "Just what are you doing, are you aware of how grotesque that look?" "No matter the circumstance, you guys never change.

Sizzle Burn

The Immortal Flame, Ishikana Controls fire, bane of their kin, with ease. Sets ablaze to combatants and compatriots alike. A formidable Old Blood vampire

Ishikana: Ah, it seem the raven has arrived."

p. 42

Solar Eclipsing Raven, Ventrue Capable of transforming into an ominous six-winged raven. Can outpace the sun. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

Fwoosh

Elder: "Making a flashy entrance as usual I see~. show off." Ventrue: "Hmph, I do as I like. Now, why did Draus summon us to such a seedy place? Northdin: "It's his current fixation" Elder: "You're one to talk, by the way, how's that huntress fairing?" Ventrue: "I have nothing to say about that!" Draus: "Ah, Ventrue, it's been quite some time!"

Lean

Ventrue: "! Draus..."

p. 43

Draus?: "What a wonderful night too, such a beautiful full moon! It's dazzle rivals that of a woman's breasts~!" Ventrue: "Dra-Draus?" Draus: "Who says that!!!?" Dicknea: "Apologies, Apologies, I didn't mean to be rude, just having a bit of gentlemanly fun."

Shifting Shadow: Dick Can Effortlessly transform into all sorts of things, be it beasts, insects, plants, fog, or even the moon. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

[Most likely Draus]: "Is everyone here? I see Yo… That Yellow… he didn't show up."

That Yellow ← (Mr Lewd Talk)

Northdin: "He was invited!? If he shows up, I'll kill him." [Most likely Dicknea]: "I rather enjoy that vampire's company though [Most likely Draus]: …Well then, let's go inside.

And with that, "the Old Blood Meeting" has begun.

p. 44

But it's just a front for idle chit-chatting.

Draus: "Now, let us begin the council of ancient vampires!" Dicknea: "For tonight's topic, I propose "favorite breast shapes."

Conial, hemispherical, triangular.

[Most likely Draus]: "What kind of discussion topic is that!?" Draus: " This is a noble vampire gathering, the topic should mirror our awe!" Ishikana: "And we've had these gatherings for how long now? We've already exhausted all meaningful topics." [Unknown]: "We've mostly been lazing about since peace was achieved." Ishikana: "How about 'recent home appliances purchases." Draus: "That's… not awe inspiring… maybe… is it?" Dicknea: "A while back, I bought some silicone breasts that made for excellent pudding molds." [Most likely Draus]: "I thought I told you to hush!! That's not that even an appliance."

p. 45

Ventrue: "Hmph, centuries passed and you still lack even a shred of decency. As for me, I recently obtained a 'toaster oven.' Bread cooked in it is delicious, fresh or reheated."

Ding!!

[Unknown]: "What are you, an old lady?" [Unknown]: "An old lady with a daily cooking blog?" Ventrue: "I'm answering in accordance to tonight's topic, so don't talk smack!! If you despise it so much, then pick a different topic, Draus! Draus: "Oh, ah, um." Draus: "Fav… 'favorite dog breed." [Unknown]: "What are you, an old dog lady?" [Unknown]: "An old lady that visits a dog park two to three times a week." Draus: "WEH!" Northdin: "How about 'favorite duel against a hunter.' in regards to our conflicts with humans, I’m certain we have no shortage of stories to tell."Draus: "As expected of Northdin!" Elder: "Ah, like that story I heard not too long ago about how lil' Northy here was forced to wear a bikini by the Shin-Yoko hunters before they sent him flying." Northdin: "Octo-headed ghoul, I'll kill you! It was a corset and I was not 'sent flying!" Elder: "Aah, my deepest apologies, Icy Smile Lord." Northdin: "You're awfully chatty for a fossilized shut-in who only recently lost his cherry!" Elder: "There's a video on it floating about in Nūtube's huntersphere, you should subscribe to their channel." Northdin: "Which NūTuber, I’ll cut off their internet connection with a blizzard!"

Absolute ruckus

p. 46

Northdin: " Moreover, how does Elder know about that In the first place, Draus?" Draus: "N-no... comment..." Ishikana: "Anyway, has anyone neared death at the hands of a hunter recently? Or is that a rarity nowadays?" Ishikana: "You guys, have any of you nearly died recently?" Elder: "Oh, I suppose that's one interpretation of awe." Dicknea: "Only about 3.5 time surprisingly." Ventrue: "Just the other day I was nearly hit by an airplane!! The skies are too crowed now!!" [Unknown]: "Just because you can fly so high doesn't mean you should."[Unknown]: "You'd cause a major wreck if you get sucked into the plane's jets." Dicknea: "A few days ago, during a raging rainstorm, I thought I saw an erotic book at sea and nearly went in after it. [Unknown]: "Shut the hell up!" [Unknown]: "Don't die over something so pathetic!" Ishikana: "Sometimes I choke on the tapioca while mindlessly drinking bubble tea. It’s always when I least expect it, too." [Unknown]: "That sounds like an old lady problem." [Most likely Ventrue]: "Those kind of drinks are out of style, granny. Elder: "Speaking of style, I just remembered something." Draus: "Oh?"

p. 47

Elder: A young vampire, rather, my grandson, told me that black cloaks are 'lame' now. Is that true?"

Black cloak Black cloak Black cloak Black cloak Black cloak Black suit

Ventrue: "No, it's not, it just depends on who's wearing It." Northdin:"Hmm, whether or not it's lame all comes down to a vampire's personal taste." Draus: "It's traditional fashion, more people need to understand that."Ishikana: "The black cloak is an iconic symbol of vampirism. Dicknea: "That's just how young people are." Elder: "Well, mine's 'unique' as a robe so it doesn't apply to me regardless." [Unknown]: "Hey, you're the one who started this conversation!"[Unknown]: "That's like comparing an onigiri to a rice ball, there's barely a difference!" Northdin: I wear a long coat, so I suppose that makes me the most stylish one here." [Unknown]: "Sure you are, Mr. long-term middle school syndrome." [Unknown]: "Okay, Mr. Final Fantasy Reject." Northdin: "I'll freeze you all Into popsicles!"

p. 48

Draus: "I bought this trendy vest not long ago." [Unknown]: "How are you this much of an old man!!" [Unknown]: "That's something old men wear right when they hit 70 or 80 years old!" [Unknown]: "What do you need so many pockets for? House keys? Blood Bons?

*^ A sweet similar to bontan rice candies for vampires.

Draus: "Enough, back to formidable topics! More topics that match our vampiric awe!!" Ishikana: "How's this, 'humans have become far too conceited nowadays." [Most likely Draus]: "Yes, a worthy topic for us awe inspiring vampires!! Northdin: "On that note… The night's far too bright in these modern times. To invade our territory with those vulgar lights, it is absurd. It's also inconvenient when hunting prey." Ventrue: "Agreed, even the backlights in blood pack vending machines are obnoxiously bright, it ticks me off. Only us vampires need it, so they should reduce the amount of light it produces."

Shine

[Most likely Draus]: "I-isn't that a little off topic? Elder: "There's someone who always dislikes and leaves rude comments on my videos, I hope someone splits their ass in half and they die!" [Most likely Draus]: "That's completely off!! Go back to being awe inspiring!!" Elder: "Fine, I'll drop the vulgarity. I hope that foolish person dies with their legs split wide open." [Most likely Draus]: "That's still bad! And a bit, you know..."

p. 49

Dicknea: "Is it me or has censorship in erotic manga gotten unnecessarily stricter with each passing year? It's for adults after all" [Unknown]: Is everything you output lewd?"

Topic → Dicknea → Lewd

Dicknea: "Of course not. In fact, I support curating separate spaces, it allows for non-conformity and a more unique erotic world." Draus: "Stop it, I get it!! Let's discuss something cool, now!!!" Elder: "If we were to form a band, what would our band name be?[Unknown]: "What brought this up!?Elder: "Bands are cool, are they not?" Elder: "Draus you can be out lead vocalist. You're such a talented singer after all." Draus: "Huh… Me? Me, as the frontman? truly?" Elder: "For sure." Ishikana: "If Draus is the lead, then we should name it after him. We can be The Dora*mons." [Unknown]: That reference is so outdated, do you even known the interests of today's youth!!!? Ishikana: " I know they read Champion." Ishikana: "At seven we'd have the right amount of members, too…" Draus: "Huh?" Ishikana: "Ah." [Unknown]: "Right, there's only six of us. Since he (Mr. Lewd Talk: Hahaha) isn't here... No it's for the best that he isn't here."

p. 50

[Unknown]: "Yeah, he emits a horrendous air about him just by existing! We would have been stopped at the entrance!!" [Unknown]: "Agreed." [Unknown]: "Not that is matters now." [Unknown]: "Splitting it rounds it up to 18,334 yen per person, right?"[Northdin]: "That seems fair enough." [Unknown]: "Will you hand them back the bill, Northdin?"

Beam

[Northdin]: "Pantsuits have a deep sense of erotism."

Mr. Lewd Talk Wielder of a potent hypnosis that forces people to speak the language of lewd talk. A formidable Old Blood vampire.

Death 215: End

----

Translator's notes:

There's a lot this time.

畏怖, translated here mostly as "awe," is awe in the fearful sense.

Page 45 Northdin is literally saying he was forced to wear "bondage." However, in Japanese, "bondage" is more commonly used today in reference to fashion (i.e. clothing made of leather/ rubber) rather than a restraining tool. "Corset" was chosen because it's the closest thing to what he was wearing and let's him keep some dignity.

If you're not in the known, Elder is a NuTuber and I'm 75% sure he's alluding to his own channel.

As a reminder, Ishikana's gender is a self-admitted "secret." They're called both masculine and feminine terms in other chapters, so don't take them being called an "old lady/obachan" here too seriously.

Page 48

Original text is comparing onigiri to omusubi.

Page 49

Draus's name is phonetically "Dorasusu" in Japanese, hence Dora*mon. The Doraemons, a spin off of Doraemon, does in fact have a group of seven Doaemons in it.

#the vampire dies in no time #draus #northdin #ydan ojisan #elder #ishikana #ventrue blueblood #von creature #//Please tell me if I made any errors #translations #kyuuketsuki sugu shinu #vamp dies

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bingoboingobongo · 2 years

Text

task force 141 + hot cocoa bombs

Characters: Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, John Price, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

Warnings: none

A/N: got kinda distracted for a bit but now we're back to the true holiday stuff (i'll get to requests soon, maybe after christmas dw)

alright so price organized this as a "team building exercise"

it's in quotes because you're pretty sure it's just a way for him to get the brass to fund a day off

he called everyone to the kitchen at like nine in the morning for a mandatory training session

but of course when everyone arrives they're met with chocolate chips, hot cocoa packets, silicon molds, and an unnecessary amount of sprinkles

gaz is the first person to figure out what's going on because he made hot cocoa bombs with his family the first time they were trending

also because gaz and christmas desserts go together like milk and cookies

ofc rudy freaks out when he learns this because he's always wanted to make hot cocoa bombs but he's never gotten around to it

soap is intrigued but mainly by the bomb part

alejandro is excited because of the hot cocoa and also because rudy's so excited

and ghost is uh

on the fence to say the least

he definitely asks if this is necessary

and price gives him a pat on the back and says obviously

price also lets them know that they each have to make their own

and then chaos ensues

simon "ghost" riley:

alright so to start simon wasn't really into the whole idea but as time went on he started warming up to it

really he's just warming up to the idea of making a better hot cocoa bomb than soap

he assumed it would be pretty easy after hearing price explain the steps but he found out the hard way that it was definitely not

he ended up having to restart multiple times but so did everyone else so it worked out in the end

the first time he didn't melt his chocolate well and it wasn't smooth at all

so he tried melting it more and promptly ended up burning it

tried another time and it went well, except when he went to take it out he immediately crushed it

tried making it thicker but then it ended up being way too thick and he couldn't get the chocolate to melt when he put the milk over it

but finally after endless teasing from soap he managed to get the perfect thickness

he used dark chocolate too because he's not really a sweets kinda guy

also chocolate has a tendency to clog up his throat and when it's sweet it makes it even worse

plus the darker color makes it look more classy in his opinion

also he was initially just gonna leave it plain but then he looked over and saw what the others were doing and decided he needed to step it up

so he took some white chocolate and made a little skull on all of his

he also took some melted chocolate and drew little skull faces on all the marshmallows he put inside

and tbh they all turned out really well

which isn't that surprising when you consider all the arts and crafts he does to make his mask

john "soap" mactavish:

alright so soap was kinda disappointed when price showed them a video of hot cocoa bombs

mainly because he assumed there would be an actual explosion involved

not just melting chocolate

but chocolate is chocolate and as long as soap gets to snack on the marshmallows and chocolate chips as he works he's more than happy to participate

he was actually able to get a good consistency and thickness the first time he did it

but then he accidentally knocked all of his bombs off the counter and they shattered

literally saw his life flash before his eyes when it happened too

also ghost definitely laughed at him for this

so then he started making a second batch when ghost made a comment about not really liking hot chocolate

so soap joked that he should put some tea in there instead

and ghost just stared at him like "what the hell did you just say"

and soap just stared at him back

and this went on for like a good minute

but then soap ended up burning his chocolate

except for some reason he figured that if he kept on cooking it it would melt again and be fine

it was not fine

his chocolate did in fact end up catching on fire

he ended up throwing the whole pot out in the snow

and now it just sits there

but like they say third time's the charm because his cocoa bombs came out well and didn't shatter or burst into flames

he made them out of white chocolate and then dyed them an army green

and he ended up decorating them like grenades

bc he's still salty that there was no explosion involved

also he definitely used a blow torch to melt it instead of hot milk

he wanted to use a flame thrower but price wouldn't let him

kyle "gaz" garrick:

bro gaz do not come out to play when it comes for holiday treats let's be fr

it's not even a competition but he was ready to be crowned cocoa bomb champion

literally the poster boy of first time best time

because he's able to get his chocolate at the perfect consistency and thickness first try

okay ig technically it's not his first try since he did it with his family but he also got it first try then too so the idea still stands

he just somehow manages to prepare really really well for these things

like he will take over an hour to just watch recipe after recipe and come up with a design

speaking of designs gaz took inspiration from his favorite film lol

that's right loyal readers gaz made a grinch hot cocoa bomb

he dyed some white chocolate green for the shell

and then used various colors of melted white chocolate to do the details

and bro gaz had no business being as good at it as he was

like he could open up a business with the quality of hot cocoa bombs he was making

also everyone kept going to gaz for help because he was the only one who knew what he was doing

and later he ended up packaging them up and saving them so he could bring some back to his family

john price:

alright so like ghost price also expected it to be easy

but the problem he faced is that price has a tendency to run hot

so the chocolate kept melting in his hands

and then his hot cocoa bombs would be all sorts of wonky shapes

at first he assumed it was just that his chocolate melted weird but he tried like three different kinds but they all kept melting

at this point he had to go sit outside for a bit and smoke a cigar in shame

ended up returning after a while

gaz offered to make one for him but he refused

this time he was determined to make one without it melting so easily

so he did everything like usual

melted the chocolate

put it in the molds

but when it came time to actually take the stuff out and touch the chocolate

price went out and got a bowl of snow from outside

and then proceeded to dunk his hands in the snow every like two minutes

by the end of it his hands were red and super numb

but it was worth it because he was able to put his hot cocoa bomb together without any help

that being said he did not have the patience to decorate it

so his was just a brown sphere

but you bet he was proud of his brown sphere

alejandro vargas:

alright so chocolate is actually alejandro's weak spot

so tbh most of his time was spent snacking on the chocolate chips

also he spent a lot of time watching rudy make his so he could learn from him

and also it gave him extra time to snack on chocolate

he was also able to learn from rudy's mistakes too

also you know that he made himself a cup of hot cocoa to drink while making his hot cocoa bomb

correction he made a cup of ibarra

he insists it's different from regular hot cocoa bc it's better

and he also uses this to fill up his hot cocoa bomb

since he was able to learn from rudy he's actually able to get it down first try

one of his was too thin and shattered though but he was smart and made multiple (rudy made multiple first and gave alejandro the idea)

he ended up filling his with ibarra and more chocolate chips

and he used milk chocolate because he likes sweet things

ended up using some food coloring and alcohol to make some edible paint

and decorated it like an ornament

he then painted a rolo silver and put it on top to really complete the look

and he was so proud of it he went around showing everyone

rudy definitely watched on like a proud mother

rodolfo "rudy" parra:

alright so rudy was sooo hyped to make the hot cocoa bombs

literally ask alejandro because rudy has been sending him videos of hot cocoa bombs daily for the past three weeks

so this has been brewing for a very long time

started off very very strong

but the immediately burnt his chocolate

he was so confused about it too because he didn't even really chocolate could burn

he asked alejandro to come taste some and he knew something was up when alejandro immediately spit it out

he tried some himself and had to immediately get a glass of water to wash it down

lord knows he was so confused too

he kept talking about it too after the fact

"geez, i can't believe it burnt."

"did you guys know chocolate could burn?"

"i didn't realize chocolate could burn."

literally the embodiment of the whole scratching your head joke but it's adorable and i love him so it's okay

once he gets over that though he starts again

this time alejandro is watching too

he keeps asking alejandro for help even though he also doesn't know what's going on

eventually tho they made it through and rudy was able to make his hot cocoa bombs

he ended up piping out some little chocolate antlers and using alejandro's edible paint to draw a reindeer face with a red nose

bc yk what rudy has an attachment to rudolph the red nosed reindeer

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whumpshaped · 1 year

Note

CANT BELIEVE TUMBLR ATE IT. How you make kibble, essentially: take braised meats and cooked veggies and potatoes and bone broth and some herbs, blend into a slop. Put some flour and salt into the slop. Put the slop in a silicone kibble mold. Dehydrate; if you don’t have a dehydrator because they’re fucken expensive then just put your oven on the lowest temp for a while. And bam! Kibble. Here’s a link for a kibble mold, here’s a link to the tiktok I saw where someone made this. I like kibble because it’s uniform and nutrient dense :) ~🐸

ok i actually probably would not like that but it does sound like genuine human kibble and i love and appreciate that

#asks #angel in training anon #kibble convos

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emotional-support-lieutenant · 9 months

Text

Another bingo fill down! This is for "Something Other Than Scurvy"

My basic idea was making some kind of edible "lead drops" as the something other than scurvy that was killing the men, ie, lead poisoning.

So I tried my hand at maple candy, just pure maple syrup and my Dutch oven (I couldn't take pics while I was actually cooking it, hence soapy water in the pot lol) and I used this recipe. I don't have a great track record with candy but it set up nicely! From the Dutch oven it went into the silicone mold that's technically made for dog treats, but I had to really look for a mold that was the size/shape I wanted and the right level of heat resistance.

Once it had set, I got out all the little balls, shaved the edges down a little (which wasn't hard they were still a bit soft), and they went into a container with edible black luster dust. I also had my container of un-lustered balls as you can see. Then I just shook it around, added more luster dust as needed, and boom! Lead drops.

They're exactly what I wanted, holding shape while still being just a little soft/not super hard, and melt in your mouth. Very tasty drops of lead, and they passed the muster of @jamesjamesonfitzjames (who kept our dog son occupied while I created these delicious monstrosities).

#terror bingo 2023

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thisisnotthenerd · 1 month

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irrationally proud of the cheesecake bites i made today

recipe is based on me vaguely remembering cheesecake. all amounts listed may need adjustment--i'm a cook not a baker. they are approximations.

recipe:

10 stacks of graham crackers

3 tbsp butter (i use salted so as to not add more salt later)

1 1/2 cup cream cheese

1/2 cup sour cream

3/4 cup granulated sugar

splash of vanilla extract

3 large egg

1 tsp lemon zest (optional)

1-2 cups chocolate chips (i don’t know exactly how much was left in the bag but i used all of it) - semi-sweet dark chocolate. baking chocolate if you can find it.

honk of butter (1-2 tsp?)

3/4 cup heavy whipping cream

blackberries (one of the little boxes. 6 oz?)

more sugar (a little less than 1/2 cup, but more than 3/8)

juice of half a lemon, squeezed gently. don’t get all of it out. whatever comes out on one squeeze, sans seeds. use the zested lemon.

the steps:

oven on to 325 F / 162 C

get muffin tin. if you’re using the raw tin, butter it. i use silicone cupcake molds to be fancy.

get out your blender/food processor and and absolutely obliterate the graham crackers. i’m talking sand by the end of it. if you don’t have a blender, put the crackers in a bag and violently whack against a hard surface. it has to be violent enough to shatter the crackers without smashing the bag open. do not smash the bag open.

melt 3 tbsp butter in the microwave. try for 15 second increments, or if you’re like me, put a cover on it and spin it around for 1 min and watch the microwave try to pop the cover off.

dump the butter in the blender and blend. it better be looking like wet sand.

take the blade OUT of the blender.

then scoop a spoonful into each thing. cupcake mold. flatten it carefully, you don’t want an uneven base.

let them sit while you do the filling.

the cheesecake:

get a stand mixer. if you clean it properly, you can reuse the blender. doing this manually takes time and effort, but it’s possible. if you have multiple attachments, use the beater not the whisk.

dump the cream cheese in the mixer. mix on low-medium speed. when it becomes an immovable blob on the beater, stop, poke it until it falls down and then scrape the sides. this happens less if it’s room temperature and not freshly refrigerated.

add the sour cream. beat until smooth. keep taking globs of cream cheese off of the beater and the sides, and your hands and the mixer and the counter.

add the first sugar increment in parts while beating.

VANILLA EXTRACT

add the eggs one at a time. room temp is better and i mean it. also don’t over beat—when the preceding egg has just been fully mixed in add the next.

lemon zest if you really want to. just a tad bit though. a sprinkle. a pinch. a teaspoon.

it should be liquidy, but form ribbons when lifted.

gently scoop the filling into each of the cups up to about the 3/4 mark. it will grow and then shrink.

you will have excess—either get another muffin tin or chuck it into another pan to make crustless cheesecake. do not forget to butter the pan if you don’t have silicone.

if the oven is up to temp (325 F / 162 C) pop the cheesecakes in for 30 minutes. take them out when the timer goes off—they should have risen to fill the cup.

let the cakes settle and create a dip in the top of the cheesecake.

if you're doing the crustless as well--thoroughly butter your pan. let it cook for ~20 extra minutes

the chocolate ganache:

make a double boiler: small saucepan 1/3 full of water put on to boil on medium heat, and a medium-large mixing bowl that rests on top of the saucepan.

dump the chocolate chips into the bowl with 1-2 tsp butter and let it melt

occasionally move the chocolate around to make sure all of it melts

gently stir in the heavy whipping cream while it’s on the heat. you have to be thorough with this—don’t leave milky bits.

when the chocolate is fully glossy, take it off the heat and let it cool while you make the compote.

compote:

dump out the water from the saucepan

put the blackberries, sugar and lemon juice in the saucepan and let it sit for a second while you start moving dishes to the sink

turn the stove on to medium again and get the blackberries to a boil. stir the berries and crush with your cooking implement of choice--i prefer a wooden spoon.

turn the heat down to medium-low and let it simmer. for like 20+ minutes. i say 20+ because i wasn't really paying attention.

finishing the cheesecakes:

when the blackberries have formed a relatively thick sauce, check to see how much the cakes have cooled. if they're cool to the touch, you're good.

let the blackberries cool.

put 1 berry per cheesecake. if it's small, do two. put a bit of the sauce around the berry, don't let it touch the edges of the cake.

if the ganache has cooled enough, spoon about 1-2 tbsp on top of the berried cheesecakes. it should fill the cup just to the top.

tap the tray to settle the chocolate. not too much or you'll spill.

stick them in the freezer. 2 hours will get the job done, but overnight is better for setting.

take them out of the cups and put in a container. only store in fridge or freezer if you can, the chocolate is less likely to melt that way.

eating:

take the cheesecakes out and let them rest for a few minutes before eating so you can actually eat them.

#personal #recipes #baking #cheesecake #cheesecake bites

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