#silent no more

[spockeye-fierce]

Fuck Pro Pals forever

[cheerfullycatholic]

Dina Madsen: Testimony of an Ex-Abortion Provider

Dina Madsen California, United States

I had to leave my heart at home.

I went to work for a Sacramento abortion mill in the first week of September 1990. Before then, the word "abortion" had seldom passed through my mind, and I had no concept of what one actually was. I had lived a "dysfunctional" life and the sacredness of human life was not something I thought of much.

My official title at the mill was "health worker." I did various duties-lab work, leading groups (deceiving women about their abortions), "advocating" (deceiving women during their abortions), and assisting the abortionist, which included helping during the abortion and checking to make sure all the parts of the baby were there in the collection jar afterwards. I will never forget, in the second-trimester abortions, holding those little feet up to a chart on the wall to make sure of the age of the baby.

Just like everyone else employed there I laughed at the pro-lifers outside the mill and hardened my heart against the truth. If I thought about what was really happening, it became overwhelming. So, I treated the whole issue as a joke-but somewhere along the line God started working on my heart. I started to read literature left by the pro-lifers, and pro-life books. I began to see what I was doing in a whole new light. I saw these babies for what they were-human beings. It was very hard for my heart and head to accept because I had been leaving both my heart and head at home for so long to work there.

I began looking towards God and sometimes visiting church and reading the Bible. I know that the only thing keeping me from accepting Christ into my life was the fact that I was involved in murder-the murder of those made in His image. After working there eight months, I could no longer resist God-He had awakened me to the ugliness of abortion. I knew that in every abortion a living human being is killed, and I believe that a part of the mother is killed too. In May of 1991 I left the mill and believed that I had shut the door on my abortion experience.

After leaving the mill, I accepted the Lord into my heart and my life, and was baptized. After years of searching, I found my true home in the Catholic Church, into which I was fully received on April 2, 1994. I am now married to a kind and loving man and we have two beautiful boys.

It was during my pregnancies that I began to deal with my experience in the mill. I know now that I was experiencing post-abortion syndrome-just as if I'd had an abortion myself, only I felt even worse because I had participated in hundreds of them. God worked on my heart for a long time, showing me His forgiveness, letting me know that I had to forgive myself because He had work for me to do. In early 1994 I finally felt ready to respond to the Lord's calling. I began to sidewalk counsel, picket, and speak publicly. I know I was doing what the Lord wanted me to do, and I was warned and knew that Satan hates God's people and their work for Him.

There have been difficult times, with much persecution and attacks from Satan, but I know that the Lord is my protector; His works will prevail! I took a break from my sidewalk counseling to strengthen myself in the Lord-and then He told me it was time to go back. I just am so grateful that He pulled me out of the darkness and into the light. He has shown me how terribly evil abortion is. He has shown me how precious life is. He has shown me that every preborn baby is His child, and that no one has the right to take that life. He has shown me that there is forgiveness and healing in Him. For those who have participated in abortions or had abortions I pray that the pro-death people will have their hearts changed and believe that life is the only "choice."

My walk with God has not been easy. Life is full of ups and downs, joy and pain. But I know that He is always there beside me. He has blessed me beyond anything I ever imagined, and continues to do so. He can do the same for anyone if He is only asked to.

I think it's important to pray for those women who are considering abortion and also for those caught up in the evil of the abortion industry, that they will see the truth and be set free. Abortion is not just a "choice," it is a destructive, life-taking act that will only bring pain and loss to those involved.

Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord;

He turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;

He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Read more testimonies at Silent No More

[morgannalefey]

I think one of the things that touches me deeply about this is that I almost became one of these people. I was erasing my own queerness well into my mid 40s. I only really started publicly and loudly embracing who I am (cis, pan, controversial intersex) in the last three years when my spouse came out as genderfluid. I was almost one of those quiet lives that you never hear about, that was never recorded anywhere. That never touched the lives of younger queers around me.

But that's changed now. I am out, and I volunteer for a local LGBTQIA2S+ center. I help organize events and I tell my stories to anyone who will listen. I am fairly safe as an old woman who gives no more fucks and who is retired. I am here. I have been here for decades. I have finally found my family and they are spectacular.

There are parts of queer history we will never touch. People who lived quiet lives and were forgotten within a generation. Stories that were tucked under the bed and hidden from the world. Diaries that were burned with nothing to recover. Beyond the hiding, there is queerness that never had the chance to be discovered, people who felt different but never gave themselves a moment or sliver of grace to explore, much less vocalize it. This is worth mourning. It is worth cradling to your chest and feeling to the fullest devastation. More than anything else, it is worth remembering.

[shenarilends]

Santa Muerte's Daughter ~ Protector of the Underdogs

[chloesimaginationthings]

Death looms over Vanny's shoulder in FNAF..

[ifuckinglovelemondemon-srs]

You know a characther is fucked up and traumatized when they are wearing one of these

Edit: half of this characther were put against my will

Edit 2: i reached the fucking tag limit

[spockeyes-thirst]

@spaceshipspeaking999 since you obviously believe in collective responsibility let's talk about who other members of your ethnic group have attacked or killed and put you personally on trial for it. Are you a white North American? Stop killing first nation peoples and stop killing black children on the streets. Are you Russian? Stop killing Ukrainians, Jews and Roma. Are you Chinese? Stop killing Uyghurs and college students. Do you even see what an irrational hypocritical jackass you are? You aren't just a prick you're a moron.

It makes me so uncomfortable to see people post blatantly anti-Jewish content and then turn right around and stan Jewish historical figures. Like, do they hate us or love us?

[onismdaydream]

best friend megumi fushiguro who doesn't let anyone else get close to you, especially not someone who he knows just wants to get into your pants. he'll stand behind you, his stare intense and deadly, a subtle baring of teeth, until the guy fumbles over his words and dashes away.

megumi knows you're a virgin, never even had a proper boyfriend once the dark haired boy found you — there's no secrets between the two of you. well, almost no secrets.

you didn't need to know the way megumi couldn't help himself when he was alone in the darkness of his room, fist wrapped around his aching cock, moans muffled as he stuffed his shirt is his mouth. a small part of him wished you were here with him, that it was your hand stroking him and making his tip leak that pearly white. or better yet, maybe you'd let him take your virginity. maybe you would beg him to make love to you, spread your pretty thighs apart so he could go right where he belongs.

he wonders how it would feel, being buried deep within you. he was a virgin, too, after all — saving himself for you.

but your first time together would be special, it would be perfect, not some rushed and sloppy fuck because of his carnal desires. megumi needed to be patient and let everything fall into place. he couldn't have you running off to someone else when you two were made for each other.

so he waits for you to realize that fact, too.

[somerandomdudelmao]

Let me show you one of my original concepts :>

Because. Why not haha👍

Characters refs Masterpost

Next

[magnusbae]

To illustrate this post by @mayahawkse I would like to visualize to you the difference:

A post in 2023:

A post in 2014:

A zoom out of the same post:

This is what a community looks like.

See how in 2023 almost all of the reblogs come from the OP, from their few hours/days in the tag search. Meanwhile in 2014 the % of reblogs from OP is insignificant, because most of the reblogs come from the reblogs within the fandom, within the micro-communities formed there. You didn't need to rely on tags, or search, or being featured. Because the community took care of you, made sure to pass the work between themselves and onto their blog and exposed their followers to it. It kept works alive for years.

It's not JUST the reblog/like ratio that causing this issue, it's the type of interaction people have. They're content with scrolling and liking the search engine, instead of actually having a reblogging relationship with other blogs in their community.

Anyways, if you want to see more content you like, the only true way to make it happen is to reblog it. Likes do not forward content in no way but making OP feel nice. Reblogs on the other hand make content eternal. They make it relevant, they make it exist outside of a fickle tumblr search that hardly works on the best of days.

If you want more of something, reblog it.

[itseghost]

very straightforward redraw because this quest and this whole scene have been ON my mind.

[heatherchasesyou]

sum Mary x James coz I'm INSAAAAAAANE 🤪

[cheerfullycatholic]

I am free to feel that grief and acknowledge the remorse of my "choice"

Melanie Illinois, United States

I was around twenty and in college.  It was a time of darkness, depression and confusion in my life.  When I found out I was pregnant, I "heard" my mother's voice of instruction about the proper order of things (college, career, marriage, house, children).  I must have felt that the pregnancy would disappoint my parents because I didn't tell them about it until years later. I remember thinking I wished I hadn't been brought into the world so why bring someone else into the world.  

I had been through a series of broken relationships.  I did not want another relationship but still wanted to have sex.  Although I had 2 or 3 partners during this time period, I was "pretty sure" who the father was. I didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy except my older sister and this young man.  I remember my sister saying my life was over... it would no longer be my own.  I realize now that is because from her perspective she had missed out on career and was raising 4 children and living a bit vicariously through me.  I remember the young man seeming relieved when I told him I wanted to get an abortion.  

When I indicated I did not want to have the baby, my sister helped me call and set up the appointment at the abortion clinic in campus town.  She also advised me to drink a bottle of wine and smoke some weed to deal with cramping that I would have afterwards. She offered this advice from the perspective of having an abortion herself. 

I do remember seeing the doctor, maybe a few days or a week before the procedure.  He indicated I was very early along. I wanted to schedule the procedure right away because I was afraid, if I waited, that I wouldn't go through with it. I remember the probable father went with me for the procedure but I do not remember him being in the "counseling" session with the nurse prior to the procedure.  It was during that session that I remember asking the nurse if the baby would feel anything.  She responded, "Oh, honey it's just a blood clot the size of a peanut" and assured me it wouldn't feel anything.  I found out, years later, through an exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry that this information was not accurate.    

I remember the monetary cost of the abortion was about $300 at this time.  I was not aware, until later, of the additional "cost" (psychological, physiological, etc.) of having an abortion.  The day of the procedure, the probable father and I went to the office and paid cash in advance.  It is still difficult to talk about the procedure, as it was quite traumatic.  I remember it seemed to take forever, even though it was probably all done within an hour.  I remember crying from the onset... silently at first but building to openly weeping.  I remember they couldn't get me to dilate and they were trying to calm me so they offered me some type of intravenous Valium.  I remember feeling something deep inside screaming "noooooo" but I tried to stifle it and make myself go through with the process.  Whether that cry was God, the baby or my inner self I do not know but I wish I would have listened and I wonder if they would have stopped the procedure if I had made that cry vocal.  But I did not.  So they got me dilated enough to suction out from my womb the "blood clot the size of a peanut" which would have most likely been my first born child.  

After the abortion procedure was complete, I was shuffled to the recovery room.  Before long, I was at my apartment, taking my sister's advice about weed and wine.  I tried not to allow myself to feel anything and would stuff it anytime it tried to come into my thoughts.  I used lots of drugs and alcohol to numb feelings.  That led to getting mixed up with a not so great group of people and I ended up dropping out of college anyway.  I ended up moving back to my hometown and getting involved in another relationship. I tried marrying that one and when we tried to get pregnant, it never happened.  My periods were all messed up.  I kept thinking I was pregnant because I would be 2 or 3 months late on my period but tests kept coming back negative.  Doctorss tried to say it was just my body getting regulated from going off the pill but after missing period for 6 months with negative pregnancy tests, I was referred to an OB/GYN.  They diagnosed PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome).  Prior to my abortion, I had never had problems with my period or experienced any of the other symptoms of PCOS that I have since become acquainted with.  My husband and I divorced. He made a baby with another woman.  

During this time, God re-initiated my childhood faith and I returned to the church.  Somehow, I heard about a bible study for woman who have had an abortion being done in a town nearby and I got plugged in with this group of about 5 women, found forgiveness and began healing.  The healing process has been a long process considering the abortion was such a short procedure.  At 40, I conceived and birthed my first child.  At 42, my second child was born.  After twenty years of infertility, both children were miracles, without medical intervention for conception.  Healing is a process.  

I had a miscarriage a few years ago as well.  I have noted a real difference in how people respond to miscarriage vs. abortion.  It's as if society allows women to grieve the loss of their children through miscarriage but not so with abortion.  People offer sympathy to women who have had miscarriages but not so to women who have had abortions.  While it is not deemed illegal and thereby deemed acceptable, we are not supposed to talk about it... that is deemed unacceptable and people act real uncomfortable if one acknowledges it.  At least that has been my experience and that of other women who have had an abortions that I have talked to.  It's crazy.  Society will allow you to take the life of your own child but does not allow you to grieve the loss of that child's life.  Grief is a natural response to death.   

There are always days when I find myself calculating how old that child would be if he or she had lived. I would probably be a grandmother by now.  Instead, I am an old mother trying to rear young children.  I thank God for His mercy, grace and second chances.  But having the children I have now and experiencing motherhood with them makes me wonder, at times, what life and memories were missed as a result of this earlier decision.  

Sin has consequences. Taking someone's life is a sin.  Forgiveness removes the guilt and shame that are natural consequences of sin. But forgiveness doesn't necessarily remove remorse.  Allowing oneself to feel remorse is actually what leads to forgiveness.  Remorse for wrongdoing keeps us humble enough to choose right-doing. I believe I have received the forgiveness I requested from God, my child and myself. But one of the consequences I have to live with is that I will always grieve the loss of the experiences of mothering that child.  

Because of forgiveness, I am free to feel that grief and acknowledge the remorse of my "choice".  This acknowledgement means I no longer have to deny or hide that remorse.  It means I no longer have to deny or numb that grief.  See it is because of that forgiveness that this remorse is without shame.  I can stand forgiven, in Jesus Name!  It is because of this forgiveness that I am silent no more!  

I want other women who have had abortions to experience this freedom in forgiveness.  If you have had an abortion and have not found this freedom, please seek out some help to find it. Help for healing is available! If you are pregnant and considering having an abortion, please choose life.  Even when things seem crazy, dark and dangerous in the world, life is ALWAYS the best choice!  God is good and ALL life is valuable to Him.  If you choose to value what God values, He will be faithful to provide EVERYTHING you need to walk out that choice.  Trust God.  Trust God to guide you into right choices. Trust God to provide for your needs.  Trust God to forgive, heal and restore.  Whatever is going on in your life today, trust God over it all.  God is good and loves us ALL more than we may ever be able to fully comprehend!  Trust in that LOVE!   

Find more testimonies at Silent No More  

[funeraleee]

[tapeworrmart]

Hand that bites 🩸

[basalting]

after jasons death bruce "accidentally" slips harvey a crowbar while hes in arkham and kisses his cheek and says, voice soft and colder than ice, "make him hurt for me honey"

it takes 6 guards to sedate and drag two face off the joker the next time two face sees him and for the rest of their lives as soon as harvey sees the joker he goes after him like a rabid dog.