#sigh. time to finally fall asleep at 6 am now that ive called out (<- words of a person making bad life decisions)

[kalashtars]

[incorrect-miraith-quotes]

(A/N yes, this is an incorrect quote acc but I can write actual good stuff too 😳)

Drinks and Sunsets

7:00 AM (3 hours before the match starts)

“Renee!! Wake up please, there is breakfast!” Natalie shouted at the closed door infront of her. Renee had fallen asleep at an ungodly time trying to find out more about herself and well, it didnt work out the way she wanted. She groaned, squeezing her eyes tight while moving her arms up. She stretched and eventually popped her shoulder which caused her to scream but not really scream if you understand what I mean. She cursed at herself for not going to sleep earlier knowing that there was a game today. She sat up, shading her eyes from the window that shown the bright sun. Her head turned to the door when she heard knocks coming from the other side. “someone’s there” Renee’s voices whispered, echoing throughout her ears. “No shit sherlock,” She hissed.

“Wra- I mean Renee~ wait no- sorry. Renee are you gonna eat?” Elliot sputtered, clearing his throat. “Depends on what it is,” She sighed. “It’s uH..pancakes I think? I dont know, Ramya was chosen to be the one who cooks today. They looked..burnt,” He explained, shuddering from the thought of Ramya’s pancakes. “I guess, give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll head out. Wait for me?” Renee asked, getting up and walking to her dresser. “Uh..yeah, yeah I’ll wait for you. Dont worry about a thing..you worried cause I’m not..haha..ha..,” Elliot trailed off, sliding down to the floor until he hit his arse on the concrete. Renee chuckled to herself in his stupidity and got dressed. She wore a black tank top with short grey shorts and her black sneakers with her ankle high socks (black of course). She unlocked her door and peered over to the tall man crouched next to her door, falling asleep.

“Wake up Elliot, I thought I was the one to wake up hm?” She flicked his forehead, causing him to rub the spot where he was hit. “Ow ow ow- Why??” Elliot questioned, confused as to why he was hit. “You were gonna start drooling so..anyways, breakfast?” Renee pulled him up, almost falling backwards. “I mean that’s why I’m here right? Right? i hope Im right..,” Elliot trailed off again, starting his journey towards the kitchen with the small woman behind him. Everynow and then he would peek back to make sure she was still there and not inside a portal. “You’re safe with him” Renee looked up at Elliot, the voice echoing throughout her mind. “You like him dont you” Renee looked up at the ceiling and scrunched her face in annoyance, internally screaming at the voices. “I don’t, you guys always assume things,” she whispered, looking at the random framed pictures hung up on the wall. “Elliot!” Renee shouted at the still walking man. He jumped slightly and flinched, “y-yeah? What’s up?” “Kitchen is right here doofus,” She nodded her head towards the room, “How did you manage to miss this big ass room??” “I guess it was an accident, never done that before haha,” He sighed and apologized. The so called pancakes were sitting on a top of a white ceramic plate, getting colder by the minute. “I wouldn’t even dare to try them..I mean you could but- It probably wouldnt be good..,” He walked over to the counter, “If you want, I can cook somthing up for you?” “That would be nice thank you and uh..can you make me some coffee? You know how I like it already,” She sat down at the large dinner table, laying her head down. “Yeah I can do that for ya, anything you want in particular?” Elliot asked but was met with silence. He peeked over and saw she was sleeping soundly with her head in her arms. Elliot took off his sweater and draped it over her shoulders then went back to the kitchen.

8:37 AM (1:30 hours before the match starts)

“Breakfast is ready Renee,” he shook her gently until she stirred, “Mornin’ beaut- I-I mean um..sleepyhead..? Yeah..that’s the word..sleepyhead.” “Mmm..mor-“ She clears her throat and rubs her eyes, “morning..sorry I fell asleep I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” She looked down at the scrambled eggs and toast that were neatly placed onto the plate infront of her. “It’s fine, I didnt wanna bother you because I thought you’d kill me,” He admitted, taking off the apron that was tied around his waist. He placed it on the hook next to the fridge where a stickynote was left by Octavio not to touch his jello. The only person he let touch his stuff was Natalie. Renee picked up the fork and began eating. “You should date him” “No,” She whispered, furrowing her brows as she picked up a piece of egg with her fork. She watched as the tall man made her coffee just the way she likes it; black with a little bit of sugar and creamer. She was never one to like sweet coffee like everyone else. He poured the jug’s contents into her prefered mug. He added the little things she liked and carried it over to where she was sitting. She thanked him with a small, almost unnoticable, smile. Renee sat there with her cup close to her nose, smelling the bitter coffee aroma. She cooled it before sipping it slowly, enjoying the taste of her morning coffee.

“Hey Elliot, do you know what time it is?” She questioned the other who was washing the pan. He checked his phone and replied, “8:52” Renee stood up and brought her plate to the sink after she was done eating. “Could you wash these for me? I need to freshen up in my room,” She handed him the plate, “thanks.” She started making her way towards her room; which consisted of one right and a lot of walking straight. But she never got tired of it since she was happy she lived comfortably with her friends. The 2 rooms that were next to hers were Natalie’s and Ajay’s. The boys were on the opposite side so in front of her was Elliot. The hallway she lived in held 6 legends at a time 3 girls, 3 boys. Renee’s hallway had Ajay, her, and Natalie and then Octavio, Elliot, and Tae. The others had their hallways, some with empty rooms for future legends. Natalie was never really in her room since she was always with Octavio. It was weird, seeing two polar opposites living together. Then there were Ajay and Tae, she managed to make friends with him. I’m pretty sure Tae is still annoyed but is warming up to her.

“Oh! Youre awake finally,” Natalie smiled, walking out of Octavio’s room, “You never woke up so I had to get Elliot to help me..” Renee stood there at her door with the key in the slot, “Yeah, Ive just been...thinking.”

“Hm, well I hope you get some more sleep. Oh and goodluck with the match today!”

“You arent participating today?”

“Non, Ive been feeling unwell for the past few hours”

“Why aren’t you in bed then?”

“Well, Tavi was getting Ajay but he hasnt come back yet”

“You should be resting Nat..”

“Im okay I swear! Pas besoin de s'inquiéter,” She smiled softly and weakly. She was still in the large shirt Octavio gave her to sleep in and pajama pants. She had a small nessy plush tucked into her elbow, being squished tightly. “Chica! Get back in the bed right now or else im going to llevarte allí yo mismo,” Octavio came back with soup and meds, shouting at the sickly girl. “Ah, Tavi.. Je suis désolé I was just wondering where you were.,” She hugged the plush closer to her fragile body. “Come here conejita, lets get you better,” He lifted her up into his arms, still carrying the supplies Ajay had given him, “When you are done being sick I am going to....”

“Lovebirds,” Renee sighed and closed the door to her room, preparing for the match ahead of her. She got her battle gear on and re-did her messy bun into a neat one. Her kunai rested on the counter, untouched in its holster. She picked it up and unsheathed it, smiling at the small sparks of void that emitted out of it. She put it away and hooked the holster to her belt. “You know you wanna be like them, you cant deny it” The voices teased. “You guys really want me in a relationship huh,” Renee flopped backwards onto her messy bed. She didnt have time to make it in the morning but now she can. She checked her phone and scrolled through her social medias. Elliot made her download them and every now and then, Elliot will make her post a picture or something. She always got tagged in fanart and random posts about her in the matches. She would occasionally like some and they would freak out and thank her. She scrolled through her tagged until she came across one post. It was fanart of her and Elliot, sitting together with their hands intertwined watching the sunset. Renee blushed slightly at the art. She saw that Elliot had already liked it, but seeing as he likes all posts that he got tagged in, it wasnt weird. She hesitantly liked it and turned off her phone. “Maybe I do like him” Her thoughts were interupted when someone knocked at the door.

9:34 (couple minutes until the match starts. The ship still has to arrive at the arena, World’s Edge)

“Renee! Get yuh ass over here ‘cause the match starts soon!” Ajay’s voice boomed through the door. Her footsteps could be heard on the other side as she walked away. Renee stood up and stretched while walking towards where Ajay just was. She opened the door to see Elliot walking out of his room. “Oh hey Ren..can I call you that? Im gonna call you that..anyways, hi. Wanna walk together?” She nodded, “Okay cool, lets start heading over before everyone leaves without us.” They walked in a comfortable silence over to their friends. Octavio was in a corner moping since he didnt have his love interest with him while Crypto spied on him from another corner. He was still mad that Nat rejected him a few weeks ago to be with Octavio. It was crazy hearing that he was sulking around in his room for hours on end. But back to the main girl in this story, Renee sat down on one of the couches that sat in the middle of the room. Everyone was ready to board the dropship to head over to the arena. Here is what was going around, Gibby and Ajay were laughing together,Octavio was..unenergetic for once, Tae was in the corner, Loba was fixing her nails while Rev watched her on the wall, Alexander was playing around with his gas, and lastly Ramya was chewing gum while playing on her phone. It was always bustling in the living space because its where everyone socialized other than the bar. A small yet loud alarm was sounded to let all the legends know it was time to board the dropship.

“Woo-hoo! It’s finally time to go,” Octavio said unenthusiastically. Everyone walked in one-by-one or in pairs. They all strapped up in their skydiving equipment and was prepared for the long drop ahead of them. Renee stood next to Elliot’s room in the ship while the others either went to their rooms or sat in the middle. (Reference back to the season 3 trailer for room placement) Renee was flippping her kunai peacefully while Elliot rambled about something in his room. She enjoyed listening to him talk about nonsense while the quiet humming of the ship was surrounding them. It was peaceful, atleast to her. It blocked out most of the voices and when she was around Elliot they seemed to shut up and occasionally tease her. The drop ship shook a bit and Elliot tripped a little but caught himself. Renee didnt mind turbulence since she didnt really care about anything really, she tenses up a bit sometimes but thats about it. Her scarf end swayed as the ship lowered slowly. Suddenly the screens flashed on and displayed everyone’s banners. Everyone gets a chance to customize and submit their banners to headquarters. The teams were as listed,

Lifeline, Crypto, and Gibraltar

Octane, Caustic, and Bloodhound

Mirage, Wraith, and Loba

Revenant, Pathfinder, Bangalore

Rampart

Everyone stood on their respective platforms also known as where the screens flashed their names. The champions were shown not even a minute later, Wraith’s team was shown and she said a voiceline to taunt her enemies of the day. The metal shifted under their feet and lowered slowly, revealing the bright, cold arena. Everyone at this point was used to the cold though, they were glad it was world’s edge because kings canyon during those months was scorching. Comms were switched on and everyone tested out the mics. Everything was set up and ready to go so teams started dropping towards their locations. Wraith was jumpmaster and pinged on the map, Fragment West. Everyone knew both of Fragment was dangerous and it was hotdrop that game too. You can bet that there were multiple death boxes surrounding the small yet large area. Wraith was already kill leader with 7 kills from the popular spot. Bullets were heard in the distance and Wraith portaled to gain some speed while Loba teleported and Mirage had to run. He wasn’t a running person for long distances so he just took wraith’s portal.

“W- Wait up you two! I dont have a movement ability!!” He cried out to the two girls. The two looked at eachother and giggled while looking back at the energy drained man. “Danger move” Wraith looked around and pinged an enemy and phased away out of danger. Again, Loba teleported away and Mirage was left alone to run away. They hit him good but he managed to get behind cover. Wraith lended him some shield cells and syringes and shot at the other team with her sentinel. The other team was Octane’s team and they were stacked; Octane had gold armour while his teammates had red evo. Octane also had a peacekeeper that he got from a carepackage just next to them. It was a long fight, from gas being thrown on them to the ring closing in on the two teams. They had been fighting for so long they didnt even realize that there were only 3 teams in total left. Wraith’s team, Octane’s team, and lastly Pathfinder. I would say Pathfinder’s team but his teammates died and the banner timers ran out, he was left solo.

“Everyone try to watch your backs, the robot could try to ambush one of us,” Loba turned to face her teammates, occassionally looked up and around for the tall simulacrum. “Spotted him, up there. He has a longbow and what seems to be a flatline on his back. I could snipe him down if that’s what you want,” Wraith calmly called out, pulling out her sentinel and charging it. “Go ahead beautiful,” Loba replied. In an instant, a loud, charged sentinel bullet was shot and killed the robot up on the hill, instantly eliminating him. Now, it was just Octane and Wraith’s teams left to fight. “Nice kill Re- I mean,” He cleared his throat, “Nice kill Wraith..” Wraith smiled and thanked him silently while eyeing down the other team. Seconds went by and both teams rushed eachother. Bullets whizzed by eachothers heads and occasionally hit their shoulders or legs. Octane’s team was low on meds while the other team was low on ammo. Another minute of fighting passes and Wraith’s team is deemed the champion. When they were back in the drop ship everyone congratulated them for winning even though they were in a tight spot. There was an after match party happening in an hour so everyone went back to their rooms to clean up after a long day and get dressed. Renee was first to her room to take a shower while the others stayed in the kitchen or hallways sparking conversations with eachother. While Renee took her cold shower, Elliot decided it was be such a good idea to just waltz into her room to ask her a question not knowing that she was relaxing without voices for once.

“Hey Renee! I was just wondering if you wanted to match for the uh..,” He paused, looking around, “Renee? Where are you??” He looked around the empty yet messy room. Clothes thrown everywhere and notebooks and hairties were strewn about. Her messy bed showing how much she slept that night, which it wasn’t much. He began to worry about her well-being and if she even actually took care of herself. He heard the loud shower running so he went and knocked on the bathroom door. But before he actually knocked, he thought about the things that could happen if he knocked on her bathroom door when she didnt even know that he was in her room. He’d be killed. Before he knew what was coming he accidentally knocked on the door infront of him like a reflex. He heard the girl inside gasp loudly with a few things dropping. He startled her, which was a first for him. He was in shock and did not want to move. “She’s like a T-Rex, if I dont move she cannot see me-“ He was cut off when the door swung open and a semi-dryed off Renee was standing in-front of him. She had her body wrapped with a towel and her still damp hair dripped along the floor and her scarred shoulders.

“How are you in here and what do you want,” She said firmly with an annoyed face. “One, your door was open, two, I wanted to ask if you wanted to match outfits for the after match thing..,” He sighed looking away, “Nevermind, it was a dumb question of course you dont.” He turned and apologized but before he could leave the room Renee stopped him. “Who said I didn’t want to? I wouldn’t mind matching with you,” She stepped over to her closet and sifted through the dresses section, “What color or style were you thinking of?” Elliot was astonished that she actually agreed to do anything with him. “I was thinking accents of purple..? I think it would look nice on both of us,” He sat down on a nearby chair in her room, looking away from her slender body. “Fine with me, now turn around,” She made sure he had his eyes closed and was turned around in order to change. She dropped the towel and peered back just in case. “You want him to see you” “Tell him to turn around” “Let him touch you” The voices were surrounding her but she managed to ignore them. When she finished getting dressed she had Elliot turn around.

“Wow..,” Elliot had no words for the sight in front of him. She wore a long black dress that had a slit on the side with a fluffy, purple boa draped over her shoulders and she was wearing heels making her as tall as him. She played with her hair a bit out of embarrassment while looking away. “You look..amazing,” Elliot was admiring her features that he acted like he’d never seen before, “I just- have no words.” “I dont look that good relax,” Renee walked over to her dresser and put on a necklace that had a purple gem in the middle. “Are you going to just stand there and not go to your room and get dressed?” Renee peered over at him from the mirror. “Right..right yeah, Ill be back to ‘pick you up’,” He opened the door and quietly shut it behind him. She sighed and thought out loud, “What am I going to do about him?” She put her hair in a half bun-half hair down sort of style and finished her look with mascara and a slight tint to her lips. She slipped on short black gloves and grabbed a clutch that had small purple accents on it. “He will like it” “For once you look nice” “People are going to judge you” “Nobody will approach you” “People are going to hate you” The voices started off nice but went downhill and piled hate after hate onto her. She pushed them away and mumbled to herself that tonight will be a good night. Light knocking was heard and she went to open the door, her heels clicking with every step.

“Ready to gooooo-“ He looked her up and down and smiled, “You’re beautiful” He tucked a stray strand from her hair behind her ear, “Let’s be on our way before the limosu- limosio- limo gets here.” He held out a hand and she gladly took it. They held hands for most of the way until Renee let go to check her clutch for something. She pulled it out and checked it before slipping it back in. It was her Apex ID, aka the only way to get into Apex events. You can be one of the legends but they wouldnt let you in without it since people knew how to look almost identical to them. She didn’t regrab his hand after that, she wanted to make sure no one saw. When they got to the front of the building everyone was in their formal attire. Octavio was wearing a green suit top with tailored shorts to go along with it and Natalie wore a white party dress that had orange and blue accents, Anita was in a classic suit talking to Loba who was in a short gold dress, Crypto was in a white suit with green accents, Rampart was in a blouse and office pants, Gibby was in a suit while Ajay wore a long blue dress, Bloodhound wore their goggles along with a suit that had a red cloth in its pocket, and Alexander wore a plain black suit. Revenant doesn’t dress up he said. Pathfinder simply went as himself for the night. After a couple minutes of waiting the limo drove up to the curb of the building. Everyone piled in close together and began conversations with eachother. Elliot and Renee sat really close together due to the limo being quite small for a bunch of legends. Some minutes pass and Renee’s eyes are starting to close. She finally let the sleepiness take over her and her head softly fell onto Elliot’s shoulder. He looked over at her and smiled. Most of the legends eyed them and mouthed for him not to move one bit or she would murder him.

“Elliot..,” Renee mumbled in her sleep, “I..love you..” The small sentence was only heard by the man allowing her to sleep. He tensed up but relaxed as her arm draped over his. The limo pulled up to the event center and a red carpet was dramatically rolled out for the legends. One-by-one everyone was walking down the red carpet either together or solo. Im guessing you can guess which ones walked solo. Elliot nudged Renee and she slowly opened her eyes. She yawned quietly and her eyes met his. They looked at eachother and then she backed away, standing up. She turned away and quickly walked out of the limo and Elliot followed shortly after. Elliot caught up and walked beside her while she covered her eyes from the flashing of the cameras. He enjoyed all the attention on him but Renee never did. He realized what was happening and walked directly infront of her, taking the spotlight. The taller put his hand behind his back and Renee allowed herself to grab and squeeze it lightly. He led her somewhere private and sat her down on a wall away from everyone else.

“You okay? I know you dont like the atten- attentin- eyes on you,” he knelt down, matching his eye level with hers. “I’m fine, you dont have to worry about me so much you know,” She sighed and leaned back slightly, “Let’s just get back to the others before they think were fucking or something.” Elliot offered a hand but she declined, pushing herself up from the wall. She swayed her hips with every step she took towards the doors. Her dress flowed down neatly from her waist down to the carpeted floor. He watched her walk away as the boa she wore bounced with her strides. “W- wait up Renee!” He yelled, fast-walking towards her but she was already through the doors. When he made it through, it was bustling with legends from other ports and random game organizers. There was loud music playing from speakers up above and most of the legends were by the bar including Anita and Loba. Others were either on couches or talking near walls with each other. There were people dancing in the middle of the room where flashing lights and more sparkled along the area. His eye caught the bright purple boa from across the room.

“Hey Ren, glad I finally found you,” He sat next to the now relaxed woman, “Let me guess, appletini?” She gave a side-glance towards him while she sipped the drink he guessed. It was her usual at the Paradise Bar so it wasn’t weird. Minutes went by and the found themselves laughing at eachother from stupid jokes and random stories. A slow-dancing song played on the speakers and everyone got with a partner.

“Wanna go dance with me Ren?” Elliot grabbed her hand, pointing to where everyone was partnered together. “I can’t really dance Elliot, I dont know if I could do it,” Renee responded back to him, covering her face with her boa. “Oh, come on you can’t be that bad at dancing. It’s not that hard, come on I’ll teach you,” He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the seat to take her over to everyone else. He brought her to the dance floor and held her close, guiding her hands to where they were supposed to be. He placed her hands on her lower waist and swayed side-to-side with her. “See? I told you it wasnt that ha-“ He winced as she stepped on his foot, “It’s fine, I forgive you since you’re a beginner.” She apologized anyways and held him closer. As the song came to an end everyone seperated except for them.

“This is nice,” Renee pulled away from his arms, “Want to go somewhere more..quiet?” Elliot’s face contorted to a confused yet happy expression. “I know just the place Ren!” He grabbed her hand and practically sprinted out the doors with her, bringing her to a cliff just off the side of the road. He sat down far away from the edge and patted the spot next to him, signalling for her to walk over and sit next to him. The sun was setting and it was the most beautiful thing that Renee had ever seen. “Oh wow Elliot..I never knew about this spot,” She couldn’t stop gazing at the orange and red hues surrounding the hot ball of gas. “My mom would take me here sometimes, from the sunset, the sunrise, and the stars oh my god the stars. She’d make them so amazing but one day she got so sick and she couldn’t take me anymore. So everytime we get to come here I come out here, to escape the whole legend thing and relax by myself. But now, I see two pretty things infront of me..the sunset and well, you,” He gently grabbed her hand and her reddish face was hard to see in the dark. She turned her head towards him and he smiled softly. “This reminds me of something I saw today, a post with a drawing of us. There’s just one thing missing to complete the scene I believe,” Renee saw him thinking and it looked like a lightbulb just turned on in his head. He leaned in and so did she. They closed their eyes and-

kissed

The scene matched the vibe of the social media post that Renee had randomly come across. It was a strange feeling to Renee, for she had never felt this way towards anyone before. Atleast, not a time that she could remember. Elliot had a goofy smile plastered on his face afterwards. She grinned and leaned on his shoulder as they gazed at the stars that started to peek from the horizon. “Alright yuh lovebirds, get yuh asses inside before we leave without yuh guys,” Ajay leaned against the door, watching them. “Oh, alright. We’ll be right there Ajay,” Renee looked over her shoulder to the other girl and smiled softly. Ajay nodded and closed the door behind her. Elliot was the first to get up and then offered a hand for Renee to grab. She gladly took it and he hoisted her up to her feet. She brushed off any dirt that may have gotten onto her dress. As they went back inside, no one really looked at them apart from quick glances. Anita signalled to them over at the entrance that they were leaving the event. They held hands as they rushed over to the group, not wanting to let go of eachother. Anita counted them and led everyone back to the limosuine so they could pile in the same way they did when they arrived.

(Back at the Apex Dormrooms)(Specifically Elliots Room)

The two were sitting on top of the bed in Elliot’s room, talking. Everyone had just got back to the dorms and they had rushed out so they could get some privacy. “So..what are we now?” Renee turned towards Elliot, who was fidgeting with his hands. He looked up and shifted into a more comfortable position to look at the girl next to him. He looked back infront of him and flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. “Whatever you want us to be, Ren,” His eyes glanced at her features from the angle he was in.

“I want to be...more than friends-“

“Best friends?”

“No-“

“Best best friends..?”

“Elliot-“

“What?”

“I want to be together, as in I want us to date and do things that couples do,” her head turned towards him. “A-are you sure?? I-I-I mean I dont think Im that bad at being a boyfriend but are you really sure you want to be in a rela- rele- be with me???” He stammered, not knowing what to say. “Yes,” was all she had to say when Elliot pulled her in close to lay down next to him. He kissed her cheeks and her forehead multiple times before stopping to stare at her beauty. She giggled and smiled then held him down into a cuddle position on the bed. “This is what I’ve always wanted, despite me acting like I never did,” She admitted, tracing circles on the others chest. “Did you want to sleep here for the night? Or..we’re you going to go back to your room?” Elliot asked, but got no response from the other. Renee was fast asleep in his arms, snoring softly. Elliot smiled a loving smile and kissed her forehead lightly then fell asleep quick with the warmth she amitted.

E X T R A

Octane walked into Elliot’s room, knowing it was unlocked and because he was his best friend. He had his phone in hand, ready to ask a question about the future match. His eyes darted towards the bed after noticing that the lights were off. There, he saw his best friend with the stone cold girl, who never really showed emotion. He gasped quietly and opened the camera app on his phone. He snapped a picture but before he knew it, the flash went off and lit up the entire area of the man’s bed. Renee groaned and covered herself more with the blanket that was draped over her and Elliot. He quickly stepped out of the room where the couple rested and snickered at the photo he caught. His first thought was to post it, his second? To post it and then print it and frame it. He didnt want to seem like a bitch so he decided to post it with the caption, “Found the lovebirds mating LOL” Within a matter of seconds, the post flooded with likes and shares. Which meant that all if not most of the legends would see it. You bet that Elliot and Renee we’re furious when they both came across it the next day..

THE END

word count: 5,445

Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :] <3

Quotes will resume Monday,, 2:00pm CT

[thatsbucknasty]

she used to be mine (vi) waitress au

pairing: Y/N x Bucky

summary: inspired by the broadway musical. Y/N Beck is a pie baking force to be reckoned with. She’s pregnant with her lazy ass husband, Quentin Beck’s baby. As everything around her turns upside down, Doctor James Buchanan Barnes charms his way into her life.

a/n: we’ll get a peek of Bucky’s pov here. Hope you guys are still reading this, and sorry for taking so long to update.

chapter 6: a soft place to land

doctor bucky pov

-

I think I’m falling for her. The moment she walked into my office, holding that pie almost three months ago, I wanted to get to know her. I know I must’ve annoyed the hell out of her in that first encounter, I know I can be intense, but I couldn’t just refer her to a different person. I feel like we were connected, destined to meet. I’m a big romantic and I love how the universe works. I believe in my soul that we were not a product of coincidence or happenstance; maybe we’re not destined to be together but I’d surely love to just be her friend.

 Everytime she comes for an appointment I hope I’m cherishing her company as much as I should, or praising her talents because she deserves to know how amazing she is. And everytime I’m not in her presence I’m waiting  for the day I’ll get to see her again. Or hoping I’ll casually run into her at the market or in the street. Cause I’m stupid like that. Hoping some married woman, who’s also my patient by the way, will actually want anything to do with me. 

She’s sound asleep right now, and if things were different and she wasn’t in such a scary situation I might wish she’d wake up so I could tell her how beautiful she is to me and how much I want her to feel the same way I feel about her. But even if she’s had issues with that awful man, she’s still with him, so… I know it’s not going to happen and I’d just make a fool out of myself.

And where is that bastard anyway? His wife and kid are in such a vulnerable state and he’s nowhere to be seen! I swear if he comes here drunk, like she’s told me it’s his usual state, I’ll kick his pathetic ass. She deserves better than this. 

She listed a woman named Natasha as her emergency contact. A strange, scary woman indeed. She waltzed in here bossing everyone around, threatening to kill anybody who wouldn’t let her near her best friend. If I wasn’t scared for Y/N’s own life at the moment I might’ve laughed at all the interns she threw daggers at. The scary redhead went out to make some phone calls and get coffee, so it’s only me and Y/N, and the little nugget.

She looks so peaceful right now, so soft. I feel an incessant need to be near her and make sure she’s safe. Both of them really. It’s been a bad year for the both of us, that’s for sure. But all I care about right now is this woman, sleeping with an IV and a monitor by her side, and that tiny baby inside of her. I know they’re gonna make it just fine. I may be a little awkward and dumb when it comes to girls, but I’m damn good at my job, so for now, they’re both stable.

I’m falling for her hard. She baked me a pie and I couldn’t stop smiling once I was alone, just staring at it. The first pie she gave me wasn’t really for me, it was for Doctor Perkins. But the second one she made specially for me. I felt so proud that day, like I had discovered the cure to some major disease. She’s got me wrapped around her pretty little magical pie baking fingers.

-

y/n pov

-

I try to open my eyes and it’s taking an excessive amount of effort to do so. Everything’s too bright and I’m disoriented but I finally assess my surroundings and I realize I’m in a hospital bed. Oh god, my baby…

“My baby. Is it okay? I-” I whimper and try to call for somebody but there’s no one. How did I even get here?

“Y/N! You’re awake! Thank god!” Natasha and Wanda enter the room, and run to my side when they take in my panicked state.

“Nat, my baby? How is it? I don’t know how- I was- Please tell me it’s okay. I didn’t even get to give them a name yet. I-”

“Sweetie, it’s okay, shhh. You and the baby are okay. You’ve been here for two days, and we were so worried but Bucky said the worst part is over. Oh! That reminds me, Bucky said it’s a she! And she’s quite healthy, but you need to relax because whatever sent both of you here took a toll on your health and you need that to grow a baby, you know? You gotta take care of yourself, hon”.

I sigh in relief and try to relax back into the stiff hospital pillows. My baby is okay and it’s a girl. I feel like my heart stopped for a minute there but now there’s a sense of calm flooding me.

“Wait, you met Bucky?”

“Why yes, actually he wouldn’t leave your side but since Wanda and me are here, he figured you’d be more comfortable with a less crowded room”.

“Oh. That’s- um, that’s nice of him I guess”.

“Y/N? Would you like us to go fetch him?”

“YES! ...I mean, if you girls don’t mind”.

“Oh not at all. I’ll go, Wands you stay here to see if she needs anything”. Nat left the room and I suddenly feel so grateful to have such good friends in my life. I’d feel very pathetic if I was in the hospital by myself. No parents, no husband. No one else to worry about me and my baby girl.

“Okay, missy. I know you mentioned Doctor McDreamy was cute. But you never said he was THAT cute!”

“He is, isn’t he?” I feel my face heat up at her comment but it doesn’t matter anymore. They’ve met him and well, no one could hide that man’s handsome face.

“Too bad all of us are taken”. Wanda says while she cleans the chair by my bed with a wipe and sits.

Man, I gotta tell them what happened with Quentin, I feel like they’re gonna throw me a party or something. They really hate his ass.

“Yeah, about that…”

“Y/N, I’m glad you’re awake, how are you feeling?” Bucky enters the room and even though he has dark circles around his eyes and his face is scruffier than when I last saw him, he looks gorgeous.

“I’m good. Thirsty”. That’s all I manage to utter in front of the prying ears of my best friends, but I glare at them and Nat gets it.

“Oh would you look at the time, Wanda we should go back to the diner. Y/N, honey? We’ll visit after our shift’s over tonight, is that okay? You’re in good hands here, isn’t she, Bucky?”

“Indeed she is”. He says without taking his eyes off me, he smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes, he looks… concerned.

“Kay, see ya!” Nat takes Wanda by the arm and they almost jog outta here.

All of a sudden I feel extreme guilt. Bucky told me stress was bad for the baby and here I am. I feel like a child at the principal’s office. My eyes are welling up and I can’t even look at him.

“Hey, is something wrong? Are you in pain?” Bucky walks over to my side and takes a look at the monitor. I look up at him and he slowly reaches over to grab my chin. My heart does a little flutter and I hope the monitor doesn’t rat me out.

“I- I feel fine. But I’m so stupid. You told me stress was bad and- and I didn’t listen”, I can barely speak coherently in between sobs and jagged breaths, “I’m sorry- I had a huge argument with Quentin, he wasted all my baby savings and he’s having an affair, which I should’ve seen it coming, but I’m so, so stupid!”

Tears flow down my cheeks and I hide my face in my palms, then I feel the bed dip next to me and Bucky’s arms around me. He holds my back with one arm and the back of my head with another, whispering sweet words into my ear. I cling to his arms and let all my sadness and frustration be washed away by his embrace. We stay there for a little while and I try to mimic the rhythm of his breathing to calm myself down.

He’s the first one to let go and I hate to be parted from his arms, but he reaches over to wipe some stray tear and that tiny touch is enough to make me feel better.

“I just want you to know- you’re not stupid. Whatever reaction that you had and that led you here, it was completely normal. Y/N, if I may be so bold to say this- Quentin’s a lowlife. He doesn’t deserve you. I know you tried to work things out and gave him chance after chance because you choose to see the good in people, but you’ve had enough and you deserve more. You’re pretty amazing and the fact that you’ve been handling this pregnancy on your own since day one, makes you the strongest person I know”, he lowers his hand to my stomach and looks deep into my eyes, “you and that little princess you got there are alright now. It was just a scare. A very serious one, but you both are going to get through this in no time, I’m going to make sure of that”.

I smile up to him and he leans in to give my forehead a barely there kiss. Perhaps he’s right and things will be okay, maybe even more than just okay. There is hope in his eyes and in my heart, I can feel it.

“You should rest, I’ll be here, I promise”. 

Bucky takes my hand to his lips and sits in the chair next to me, still holding my hand and kissing it every so often until I fall asleep.

-

chapter 7: never ever getting rid of me

[perfeggso]

Noir (yutae) 

Week IV pt. 1

Tokyo – fall of 1983: Nakamoto Yuta is quickly rising in the ranks of one of Japan’s most notorious yakuza families, and he’s poised to climb even further if he can stop himself from being ruined by the pretty Korean boy who’s shown up out of nowhere.

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3  |  Chapter 4  |  Chapter 5  |  Chapter 6  |  Chapter 7  |  Chapter 8  |  Masterlist

Glossary of Japanese words

Characters: Yuta x Taeyong + NCT ensemble, Twice J-line (for funsies)

Genres: Gang!AU, angst, smut, fluff, 1980s!AU

Warnings: graphic violence, swearing, minor character death, alcohol use, mentions of drugs, period-typical homophobia, xenophobia, BDSM

Rating: 18+

Length: 7k

“Okay,” said Yuta, “this is the last time I’ll ask – I promise.  You’re sure I didn’t scare you last night?”

Taeyong sat in the passenger side of Yuta’s car, waiting in the pick-up area at Narita International Airport the morning after their first night together, listening to "4:00AM" by Taeko Onuki.  He rolled his eyes.  

“Yuta,” he began, “if I was going to be scared of you – which I am not, by the way – it wouldn’t be because you startled me when you yelled in the middle of the night, I can tell you that much.”

The night before, Taeyong had fallen asleep in Yuta’s arms; tired, sated, and oh so happy.  His little bundle of positivity only unwound when he was shaken rudely awake in the early hours of the morning by Yuta screaming.  It didn’t last for long, partially because Taeyong had used all the wits he could gather to coo over Yuta, calming him down and easing his tension, but it had been disturbing, nonetheless.  When Taeyong felt like he’d waited a sufficiently long time for Yuta to regain his bearings, he’d ventured to ask what was the matter.  All Yuta could put into words was that he’d had a bad dream, and that for as long as he could remember, his bad dreams could sometimes get horrifying or tangible enough to make him react quite violently in the real world, and he was sorry.  Taeyong didn’t press him on what that particular dream was about, but it must have been quite upsetting.  Who knew what kinds of things Yuta had seen in his life for his unconscious brain to draw upon?  Anyway, the next morning Yuta couldn’t stop the incident from preoccupying him, apparently very worried that it would somehow make him less desirable or something.  Taeyong was having none of it.

Yuta sighed as he sank farther into the driver’s seat, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel.  Taeyong felt a little pang of guilt that he might have insinuated that maybe he should fear Yuta for other, non-nightmare-related reasons.  But like he said, he didn’t.  He didn’t fear Yuta even though he’d watched him kill another man with his own eyes.  Yuta was too sweet and odd, too predictably human, and made him feel too good to scare him.  

“Okay, good.  It just happens sometimes.  Haven’t figured out how to control it yet,” Yuta said.  He switched the topic. “How’s your ass, by the way?” Taeyong smiled to himself.

“It’s fine, but you did bruise me a tiny bit.”

Now it was Yuta smiling.  “Sorry.”  He didn’t seem very sorry, though.  “Don’t Change” by INXS started to play over the radio.  

“I don’t care,” Taeyong admitted.  “I like a little reminder of who made me feel like this.”  

“Good,” said Yuta.  “Next time I’ll mark you up deliberately.”

Taeyong’s breath caught in his throat.  Should they even be talking about this on the job?  Wasn’t Yuta worried about being distracted?   Still, he filed Yuta’s promise away in his mind so he could hold him to his word.

“You wanted tattoos, anyway,” Yuta teased.  “I can give you the low commitment version.”

“You’re kinda corny sometimes, you know?” Taeyong said, causing Yuta to splutter laughter.  

“Yeah,” he confessed, “I know.”  He turned to regard Taeyong with a smile.

Taeyong hadn’t brought anything with him last night to change into for the next day, so (with permission!) he’d raided Yuta’s closet.  Taeyong wouldn’t have minded wearing his clothes from the night before – they weren’t particularly slutty and no one he’d be seeing today had seen him in them the previous night – but they still smelled pretty bad from all the sweat and spilled alcohol lodged in their threads.  Instead, Taeyong got to smell like Yuta.  

He wore a Bauhaus t-shirt, black jeans, and a gray blazer with a little gold pin with the Inagawa-kai logo on it attached to the lapel.  Yuta wore the same one on his black, patent-leather peacoat.  He had paired that with black aviator sunglasses for a truly eye-catching combination.  Taeyong thought it was funny that Yuta seemed incapable of not dressing like a mobster.  

Before Yuta could say whatever he was about to, a blue BMW pulled up right next to them and rolled down the window, revealing Taeil in the driver’s seat and Mark by his side.  Taeil was yelling something Taeyong couldn’t hear over the sound of departing airplanes, and apparently Yuta couldn’t understand it either because he yelled back for Taeil to repeat himself.  

“What?” Taeil asked instead.

“He’s wondering if you’ve gotten any updates!”  Mark repeated.

“No!” Yuta responded.  “And why are you double-parking me?  Just pull up a little!”

Taeil obliged and parked in front of Yuta and Taeyong, getting out once he’d cut the engine and walking to Yuta’s window.  Yuta turned off the radio.  

“Why do you need an update?” he asked.

Taeil rested his hands on the car door.  “Because,” he explained, “Mark was hanging around headquarters and really wanted to come even though I kept telling him that if they brought more than one extra person with them I would not hesitate to leave him at the airport.”

“Why didn’t you just say no?” Yuta inquired.  

“Because I thought he’d tell you I said no and then you’d be annoyed.”

Taeyong sat there as this whole interaction played out, watching Mark watch them from Taeil’s car.  It seemed like Mark got a lot of preferential treatment.  Not that Taeyong could talk.  

“Alright,” said Yuta.  “It’s not a problem.  I don’t have any reason to believe there will be more people with Kun than he said.”

Taeil clapped his hands over the car door a couple of times.  “Okay, just checking.  Shategashira ?”

“Yeah?”

“ Would you have been annoyed with me?”

Yuta pondered the question for a minute, eyes dancing around the cabin of his car.  “Probably,” he eventually admitted, smiling and looking at Taeil out of the corner of his eye.

“Knew it!”

Part of Taeyong wanted to know what Yuta’s deal was with Mark, scared the curiosity might be coming from a place of burgeoning jealousy.  Taeyong was over the moon about his relationship with Yuta, but sometimes he cursed his own decision making.  His infatuations always stressed him out terribly, and his situation was already stressful enough.  

He watched as a group of well-dressed men exited the door Kun and his people were supposed to be emerging from.  Yuta and Taeil were still talking – something to do with their meeting preparations, no doubt – and hadn’t seemed to notice the new arrivals in the pickup area.  

“Is that them?” Taeyong asked.

Yuta and Taeil both snapped their heads in the direction Taeyong was pointing.  Yuta blinked.  

“Yeah,” he confirmed.  “It is.”

“How many were there supposed to be?” Taeyong asked as a follow-up.

“Seven,” Taeil answered this time.  “They brought two extras with them.  Fuck.”

“Looks like someone’s going in the trunk,” Yuta joked.  

Taeyong and Yuta got out of the car, walking over to the Triads with Taeil and Mark, who’d finally stepped out onto the curb.  Taeyong thought he caught Mark giving him a once-over, perhaps registering the presence of Yuta’s clothing on his body.  

“I thought I told you to stay at your post,” Yuta scolded.  

Mark shrugged.  “I thought this was a special occasion.”

The Triads were more inconspicuous than the Inagawa-kai usually were, their tall builds and dark clothing lending them all an appearance more akin to a celebrity and his bodyguards (although who the celebrity was could be up to interpretation) than to a group of criminals.  

Kun, or at least the man Taeyong assumed was Kun, stood at the front of a near perfect triangle of his men, a relaxed confidence defining his features.  

Kun and Yuta acknowledged each other with a bow.  

“ Shategashira , good to see you,” Kun greeted.

“ Fu Shan Chu , the honor’s all mine.”

Taeyong didn’t know what Kun’s title meant, but he had a feeling Yuta wasn’t pronouncing it very well.  Not that he could have done any better.  As Taeil and Mark quickly extended their own greetings, Taeyong prayed a silent ‘thank you’ that the Triads all spoke Japanese; he didn’t need to be any more confused than he already was basically nonstop.  Although after a moment of thought, he realized this made perfect sense considering these men had been hand-picked to attend an important business meeting (if you could call it a “business meeting”) in Japan.    

“Taeyong,” Yuta began, the indulgent tone Taeyong had grown more and more used to him using when they were together overtaking his voice, “I want you to meet some dear friends.”  

Kun introduced himself first as a Deputy, second in command of his syndicate and in charge of international business; then came Sicheng, a skilled tracker and fighter despite his lithe build; followed by Ten, the Hong Kong liaison for the group’s Thai offshoot who explained by way of introduction that, since no one could ever pronounce his real name, he went by ‘Ten’ for the number of people he’d personally “interrogated” by the time he decided he needed a nickname (“but now I’ve lost count”).  The three of them were followed by Yukhei, a tall Hong Kong native and self-described yes-man for Ten; Dejun, who kept his introduction succinct but fixed an almost manic positive energy on Taeyong the whole time he spoke; Kunhang, the “Macanese Snoop,” whatever that meant; and Yangyang who once worked for the Taiwanese Triads and was in charge of smuggling since he used to do it between West and East Germany for some reason Taeyong didn’t quite catch.  The seven men were able to pack so much information into their introductions because they kept jumping in on each other’s sentences, adding information they deemed pertinent about their friends seemingly as a way of hyping one another up.

Once the seven men in front finished, Yuta peaked exaggeratedly to the back of the group to address the stragglers.  

“And you two, it seems to me, are none other than Zhong Chenle and Huang Renjun, all grown up now, hm?”  The pair smiled mischievously at each other.  They wore almost schoolboy-like suits that looked a little too expensive to be trusted in the hands of a late teen or early twenty-something, as they appeared to be.

“Hello Yuta-san,” they each chimed, a bit out of synch.

“I can tell that you’ve aged too, Shategashira,” quipped the shorter of the two.  The taller joined in.

“Yeah, please make sure you’re getting enough sleep, sir.”  Chenle and Renjun tittered as the Triads rolled their eyes and Kun shot them an absolutely lethal glare.  

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Mark jested from over Taeyong’s left shoulder.  “You’re on Yuta’s turf now and I can promise from experience you don’t want to see him pissed.  Can’t run to your daddies here.”

Now it was Chenle rolling his eyes.  “Shut the fuck up, Mark,” he said, and Mark cackled in amusement.

“Thank you, Mark,” Taeil interjected, a cautious impatience practically dripping from his voice.  “I think our Shategashira can defend himself.”

“Great!” said Yuta, trying to regain control of the interaction.  Taeyong was starting to get nervous because they were all still standing out in the open outside one of Narita’s many exits, and it wouldn’t have taken that much imagination on the part of an onlooker to identify them as a group of gangsters.  Yuta didn’t seem nervous though, so Taeyong pushed his anxiety as far down as he could until it was nearly imperceptible.  Yuta leaned closer to him a bit as he aimed to guide Taeyong through their ongoing introductions.  

“Those two meiwaku are the sons of Triad commanders.  They’re completely spoiled, as you can see.”  Taeyong almost giggled, amused by the amount of time Yuta seemed to spend getting bullied by people who were barely out of high school.  Yuta continued.  “So that’s everyone,” he concluded, pulling away from Taeyong.            

“I’m humbled to meet you all,” Taeyong said, brain overloaded for the hundredth time in a month by all the new faces and by Yuta’s proximity.  

Yuta brushed his finger over Taeyong’s sleeve.  It was a small movement and he doubted anyone else saw, but Taeyong had to suppress the heat threatening to overtake his face.  Yuta never got into the personal space of his subordinates while conducting business, but then again, Taeyong was an exception in more ways than one.  He couldn’t decide if he was more irritated by Yuta messing with him or by his own oversensitivity.  

“You don’t have to use kenjougo with them,” Yuta joked. “Polite language will do.  They’re all younger than you, anyway.”

Taeyong balked.  He knew that Chenle and Renjun were young, but his tone hadn’t been meant for them.  And he thought Yuta was a prodigy...  

“You want to introduce yourself, Taeyong?” Yuta suggested.  

“Oh, right!  Hello, my name is Lee Taeyong and I’m sort of a member-in-training, I suppose.  I’m helping Yuta prepare for your upcoming meeting.”  Taeyong bowed, having rushed through his introduction, and he was glad no one could see his downcast eyes go wide when he felt Yuta’s palm just above the small of his back, guiding him upright.  Could he not?

“Taeyong’s been a great asset to us lately,” said Yuta, and Taeyong thought he detected the tiniest hint of teasing in his words.  “I trust you’ll all come to appreciate him as we have.”  

Taeyong heard Taeil sigh from behind him.  “We should be going,” he stated, “but I regret to inform you that one of the pipsqueaks is going to need to improvise in terms of seating on the way into the city.  We were expecting fewer people.”  

Kun smiled wryly.  “Maybe I should have hired a professional driver,” he joked and Taeil stiffened in irritation.  “But no,” he continued, “I understand.  These two insisted last minute on a vacation to Tokyo and their fathers didn’t listen to my concerns about bringing them, so here we are.  We’ll figure it out.”  

“Shall we?” asked Yuta, turning on his heel towards the parked cars, and Kun made a hand motion that signaled for all the Triads to follow.  

“You know,” said Taeil, as he watched Mark drop back in formation to share more personal greetings with some of his Triad buddies, “we could just put Mark in the trunk, and this wouldn’t be an issue.  He did insist on joining after all.”

Mark turned his attention from Yukhei to Taeil and scowled.  “If you do that, I’ll yell so loud you get pulled over and then I’ll say I’m being kidnapped by the yakuza,” he warned.  

Ten sidled up to Mark and regarded him casually, a smirk forming on his face.  “Uh-huh,” he said, “and what do you think the cops will make of that Irezumi on your wrist?”

“Shut up,” said Mark, seeming to resign himself to an uncomfortable ride back.

Taeyong and Yuta returned to their car, trailed by Ten, Kun, and a skittish Renjun who held a finger to his lips as he slipped into the middle seat in back.  Taeyong paused in front of the vehicle for a moment, next to the passenger side door.  He was fairly certain he wasn’t supposed to sit shotgun, considering he had the lowest rank of the five of them save Renjun.  He looked at Yuta questioningly, expecting a word or gesture directing him to the back seats.  Instead, Yuta nodded for Taeyong to enter where he was, so Taeyong opened the door and sat in front, trying to be small and invisible by moving as little as possible.  Kun and Ten didn’t seem to question it.  

“Thank you for choosing Inagawa chauffeur service,” Yuta said jokingly once everyone was inside.  It took a moment to get going because Mark was trying to force Chenle into the trunk of Taeil’s car and Chenle responded by flailing and emitting a screech so high in pitch that Taeyong worried it might shatter all the windows of both cars.  

“You’re a smart boy, Renjun,” Kun stated, “choosing to come in this car.”

“Yeah,” Ten chimed, “what would you have done if we tried to force you into the trunk?”

Renjun smirked.  “I have a pocket knife on me and I’m not afraid to use it…” he explained in response, making everyone laugh.  In front of them, Mark pouted as the trunk door finally closed over him.  Taeyong caught a smile on Yuta’s face out of his peripheral vision as both car engines started.  

***

Taeyong had only been to the “training room” at headquarters a couple of times before.  The first time had been when Doyoung decided to nab him and teach him knife throwing, and the second was when Jaehyun asked him to hold arm pads for him to punch.  The space was painted yellow from floor to ceiling and had harsh lighting and mold growing like shadows in the corners.  One section had weights, mats, and boxing equipment set up next to a mirror; one, some knives and targets; and one, a table and small sitting area.

The Triads had only been in town a few hours and already, they seemed to be getting quite comfortable.  When Taeyong had a moment of free time, Ten and a few others grabbed him without explanation and dragged him off to go “have some fun and get to know each other.”  Apparently, that meant subjecting him to public mortification.  

Sicheng had his arms wrapped around Taeyong’s midsection, bending him over and essentially   demobilizing him.  Taeyong breathed heavily, unable to do anything but struggle and watch the speckled floor under him shift along with his jerky movements.  

“Sicheng, maybe go easy on him?” he heard Kunhang suggest from the table area, where some of the Triads were sat watching.

“I thought Inagawa was tougher than this,” Yangyang heckled, and Taeyong felt hot shame pile on top of his bodily discomfort.  

Dejun piped up next.  “He’s new, Yangyang, give him a break.”

Taeyong wanted to respond, but he was too busy trying to defend himself physically to do it verbally.  Sicheng brought his knee up into Taeyong’s stomach, just hard enough to startle him without hurting him too badly.  He used Taeyong’s disorientation to trip him, and next thing he knew, Taeyong was sore and heaving with his ass on the padded floor.  

“Or don’t go easy on him,” Kunhang remarked.  “Either way.”

Taeyong looked to his audience.  Dejun, Kunhang, and Yangyang were all sitting around the table in the corner, a neglected game of poker which had started as a way of blowing off some competitive steam after “training” laid out between them.  Ten stood a bit off to the side, arms crossed and gaze sharp with scrutiny.  He took a couple of strides towards Taeyong and Sicheng, a smirk overtaking his mouth as he looked down at Taeyong like he was prey.  Taeyong had met plenty of scary people in his life, and the frequency of such encounters had only increased since he started hanging around the yakuza, but Ten, with his wicked expressiveness and black leather suit in this moment gave Taeyong a chill of pure terror.  

He noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head to see it was Sicheng reaching his hand out to help Taeyong up.  He smiled, face inviting and a welcome contrast to Ten’s entire aura.  Taeyong took his hand and let Sicheng pull him to his feet.

“I thought you were supposed to be Yuta’s bodyguard,” Ten said plainly.  

“Well, not exactly,” Taeyong tried to explain.  “I just follow him around and keep a lookout for trouble; anything suspicious.”

Ten narrowed his eyes in a way Taeyong felt had to be partly for show.  “That’s all, huh? Doesn’t sound like much.”  Ten looked Taeyong head to toe and hummed thoughtfully.  “Could there be another reason Yuta keeps you around?”

Jesus Christ, did everyone know?   The room felt suddenly cold as Taeyong’s body came down from his previous exertion.  He tried to suppress a shiver as his brain rushed to come up with a response.  Thankfully, Sicheng stepped in.

“He knows how to fight, Ten, he’s just used to fighting brainless brutes.”

Taeyong nodded, hurrying to redeem himself. “Sicheng’s right,” he confirmed.  “M’sorry.”

Ten let out a laugh through his nose.  “No need to grovel,” he said, smile growing slightly less intimidating.  He pushed a finger playfully into Taeyong’s shoulder, sending Taeyong’s mind reeling.  “Anyway, I heard you saved Yuta from an assassin, so I’m in your corner.  I’m just taking it upon myself to help you improve and make yourself even more useful.”

Taeyong laughed in confusion, spitting out a sarcastic, “gee, thanks.”

Dejun expelled a sound of wounded disappointment from behind Ten, certainly brought about by the poker game.  Kunhang and Yangyang snickered.  Ten ignored them all, keeping his attention trained on Taeyong.  He raised an eyebrow and smiled, catlike.

“Wanna see something cool?”

“Sure?” Taeyong ventured, not sure if this was another way of saying “let’s have some fun and get to know each other.”  He steadied his core in case Ten decided to tackle him or something.  

Instead, Ten opened his leather jacket, giving his torso the effect of having bat wings.  Taeyong was surprised, but not as surprised as he would have been a month ago, to see the glint of what had to be at least two dozen small metal weapons emanating from the lining.  

“Shit…”

“Nice, huh?” Ten prompted, and Taeyong felt compelled to nod in agreement.  Ten used his head to indicate the right side of his jacket, where he had stored a slew of small knives, brass knuckles, and throwing stars, among other things Taeyong didn’t recognize.  

“This side is for hand to hand combat,” he explained, smiling like a snake about to bite.  He indicated to his left next, where he had some longer and thicker knives, plyers, metal clamps, and a bouquet of slim needles, each about nine inches in length.  “And this side is for extracting information.”  Ten seemed to register Taeyong’s cautious surprise.  “I only show you this so you know what you’re up against,” he cooed.  

“Al-alright,” Taeyong almost swallowed his words.  “I appreciate it.”

Before Ten could terrorize him any further, the door swung open and everyone was looking to see who had arrived.  It was Yukhei, trailed by Yuta.

“Yup, they’re in here,” Yukhei was saying, holding the door open for Yuta to enter.  

Yuta stalked towards Taeyong, Ten, and Sicheng and the boys at the corner table all stood in greeting.

“Ten,” Yuta said in mock disapproval, “are you traumatizing my poor partner?”

“I’d call it ‘educating,’” Ten responded.  “If he gets traumatized that’s simply a byproduct of necessary learning.”

“Okay, Ten, just don’t scare him off,” Yuta replied.

“It’s not like I could leave if I wanted to,” Taeyong grumbled, and Yuta shot him a cutting look, but it softened quickly into an expression of vague sadness.

“Taeyong, you’re wanted in room 2A.”

Taeyong schooled his face.  “Right away, Shategashira .”  

Yuta turned on his heel and exited the room.  Yukhei stayed by the door, Taeyong figured, because Ten needed him.  Taeyong followed hesitantly after, but Yukhei stopped him on the way out, looming over him but smiling so genuinely that Taeyong felt more comforted than scared.  

“If it’s any consolation,” Yukhei began, a thick accent coating his deep voice, “Sicheng kicks my ass all the time too.”  

Taeyong had a hard time believing that considering Yukhei, though he was roughly the same height as Sicheng, was noticeably larger in every other way.  He was probably either too nice or too reliant on blunt force.  Taeyong let out a breathy laugh.  

“Thanks.  That does make me feel a bit better.”

“No problem.”  

Taeyong left, hearing Ten’s call of “bye-bye, Taeyong!  I’ll see you again soon!” echo down the hall after him.  His stomach sank when he thought of the coldness he’d accidentally caused in Yuta, but the other man was nowhere to be found so he figured he’d just report where he was needed and find Yuta later.  

Room 2A was one floor down.  Taeyong tried to open it himself but it was locked, so he opted to bang on the metal to announce his presence.  It opened, a grinning pair of faces belonging to Johnny and Mina greeting him on the other side.  

“Yonggie!” Mina exclaimed, moving herself away from the entrance so Taeyong could pass her, which he did.  “Welcome!”

The room was little more than a cinder block box with a metal chair in the center.  If Taeyong didn’t trust Mina and Johnny at this point, he would be expecting something horrible to occur in such a room.  

“What’s going on, you guys?” Taeyong asked.  

Johnny closed the door and came to lean on the wall across from Taeyong.  

“Why don’t you take a seat,” he suggested, and Taeyong did.  “We’re here to impart on you some very valuable lessons.”  

Taeyong grimaced.  He was exhausted from what Sicheng had put him through and just wanted to find Yuta.  He’d had enough “education” and “lessons” for one day.  Nevertheless, he figured he had no choice but to indulge his captors.  

“What lessons are those?” Taeyong asked, rocking himself slightly against his chair.  Mina joined Johnny on the wall.

She answered, “Tactics for resisting interrogation.”

Taeyong started.  “Whoa.  Okay…”

“I know it sounds bad,” said Johnny, “but it’s really important for you to know.  Yuta asked us to do this.”

Taeyong felt his skin prickling as he grew more nervous.  Why didn’t Yuta just teach him himself, then? he wondered, posing the question out loud.  

Johnny smirked.  “Because, he has important shit to get done.  He can’t tend to his Yonggie constantly.  He has to delegate some of that.”

Taeyong gritted his teeth.  “Alright, alright.  But why do I need to know this?  I’m practically useless so why would anyone bother kidnapping me?”

Johnny slid down the wall until he was crouching against it, his face softening in mild concern.  

“First of all,” he said, “you should know you’re not useless, Taeyong.”

“Yeah!” Mina added.  “He might give you a hard time, but Johnny keeps telling me how much he likes having you around.”  Johnny smiled at this.  

“You hang around with a Lieutenant all day!” he said, and Mina finished his sentiment with, “you are TOTALLY kidnappable, Taeyong!”

Taeyong laughed at the preposterousness of this compliment.  “Thanks, guys.  I’m sorry, I’m just in a bit of a mood today,” he explained.  “And I guess you’re right.”

“Of course we are,” Johnny said, pushing back off the wall to standing.  “Anyway, now that we’re all on the same page, this is where things might get a bit unpleasant again.  We give this training to every member of the syndicate and all of our serious romantic partners, so contrary to your instincts, you are doubly in need of this.”

Taeyong squirmed, uncomfortable in a bad way over the fact that he wasn’t technically a syndicate member yet and uncomfortable in a good way at the knowledge that Yuta considered him serious .      

Mina smiled.  “Don’t worry, this has come in handy for me, for sure.”

“That just makes me worry more, you realize?” Taeyong replied with a grimace.  

“Okay, fair enough.  Sorry.  But it’s better you know than end up dead or betraying your friends and boyfriend!”

“Taeyong,” Johnny began.  “Let’s start with what you know.  When you picture a yakuza kidnapping, what’s happening?”

Taeyong’s mind flew to the image of Ten’s sparkling and deadly bat wings.  “I try not to picture that, but I saw what Ten carries around with him, so I think I have an idea.”

Johnny laughed hollowly as Mina watched him.  “Yeah, Ten’s a special guy.  I think he’s the only person I’ve met who genuinely enjoys that part of the job.  Anyway, so you know it could get bad.”

Johnny lifted his shirt to reveal his lower abdomen.  There was a long, thin scar across his obliques, slicing an inked koi fish in half.  

“Knives are common,” he explained vaguely.  “I got this one from a Sumiyoshi thug nicknamed ‘The Butcher.’  But we’ll get to that later.”

Taeyong swallowed thickly as he tried to steady his buzzing eyes.  Johnny continued.  

“Obviously, you know that we expect you not to divulge any sensitive information.  There are three things you are allowed to confirm for your captors though, just to get them thinking you won’t be a complete pain in their asses.  Those three things are name, rank, and clan.  Got it?”

Taeyong remembered how Yuta had lost patience quickly with the Yamaguchi assassin who refused to give any personal details.  He didn’t want to end up like that guy.  He nodded.  

“Lee Taeyong, Kumi-in, Inagawa-kai,” he recited, as if anyone in the room didn’t already know.

“But no more than that,” Johnny confirmed.  

“Another important thing to keep in mind,” Mina continued, “is that there are ways to avoid the worst tactics.  If they’ve gone to the trouble of capturing you, that’s because they think you have crucial information that they need.  It’s in their interest to keep you alive.”

Taeyong nodded along, determined to be a good student as he realized more and more clearly the very real possibility he might need to use some of what he was learning.  

“Although it can be tempting to act defiant as if you’re not bothered by the pain, and many experienced gangsters will do this to avoid hurting their fragile little egos,” Mina looked pointedly at Johnny, who just shrugged, guilty, “it can do you some good to play to the opposite.  You should exaggerate your injuries and pain.  Even if they try to use that against you and humiliate you, ultimately if they think you’re closer to death than you are they’ll let up much faster.  Make sense?”  

Taeyong nodded quickly.  Exaggerated pain, he could do that.  “Makes sense,” he confirmed.  

“Okay,” Johnny went on, “another thing.  Obviously if you ever did get kidnapped, we’d send some people out to find you, and hopefully they’d be successful.”

Taeyong shifted in his seat, watching Johnny start to pace.  Hopefully .  

“When you do get rescued, for that to end well you need to stay calm and not try to join in the fight.  If they see you moving around a lot or if you look like you’re about to break out of whatever restraints they have you in and fight back, then they’re way more likely to treat you like an enemy combatant and not like a prisoner.  You could get killed.  It’s kind of counterintuitive, but it’s important.”

Taeyong rolled his ankles, gaining some comfort out of the way the stretch and crack of the movement soothed his muscles.  He took a deep breath.

“Hey guys, why are we doing this right now?  Am I in danger?”    

Mina and Johnny exchanged a glance, sending Taeyong’s heart racing even faster than it already was as he tried to decipher their silent communication.  Mina spoke first.

“Not necessarily,” she said.

“We just want to prepare you,” Johnny added.  “Well, Yuta wanted us to prepare you because he’s been really worried since that assassin came after you two.  We can’t be sure that anything too serious will go down but if, say, a gang war does start over this Mitsubishi thing, we want you to be prepared.  Got it?”

“Oh…yeah, got it.”  Taeyong sighed.  “I supposed it’s too late to just…let me go, huh?”

Johnny’s face screwed up and Mina’s twitched.  Taeyong thought of their conversation at Johnny’s pachinko bar, assuming she too was pouring over the memory of her own warnings.  

“I – look,” Johnny began, and Taeyong already knew the answer he was about to receive.  “It’s been discussed, and the higher ups are adamant; you’ll be given the choice as soon as the Mitsubishi deal is secured, but no earlier.  They felt they needed to bring you on in the beginning, and I’m in no position to question if that was overkill, but at this point you’re certainly stuck, considering all the information you have.” Taeyong nodded, eyes fluttering to the floor as Johnny leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms.  He huffed a breath.  “Do you – do you want to leave, Taeyong?”

Taeyong blinked.  He didn’t know what to say.  He didn’t even know what leaving would mean or where he could ever go.  His new life was exciting in a way he’d always dreamed about and he liked the people around him more than he’d liked anyone in a long time; Johnny and Mina going out of their way to help him stay safe, the other Tora regiment members all welcoming him so easily, and Yuta…god, Yuta… At the same time though, Taeyong’s new life hadn’t managed to shake the feeling he so often had that he was floating through existence, incapable of being grounded even by the most intense experiences.  He wasn’t used to things working out for him.  Besides, the last time he made a major decision for himself, he’d been called xenophobic names and battered within an inch of his life.  

“I…don’t know,” he admitted.  “I don’t think so, anyway, but I don’t want to be a liability.”

Johnny smiled slightly.  “That’s not worth worrying about because you aren’t.”

Taeyong wasn’t convinced, but he nodded anyway.  “Alright,” he said.  “What else have you got to teach me?”

Johnny and Mina let him go after another half hour or so of discussion, teaching him how to school his demeanor to fit somewhere between deference and defiance, how to relax himself in a way that would prevent excessive bleeding and make blows easier to endure, and how to give answers that kept the line of questioning going but revealed nothing to the interrogators.  By the time he left room 2A, Taeyong was wondering if he should feel empowered or petrified, his mind careening from one emotion to the other with every new thought.  Once he was done processing, he decided to find Yuta.  

He’d barely had the chance to talk to him all day and it was weird for him.  The night before had been ridiculously intimate, Yuta fucking him so well, opening up to him about his past, and holding him as they fell asleep; so the weird shifts Taeyong had observed all day in Yuta between teasing and aloof were giving him whiplash since he couldn’t ask what was causing them.  He hoped Yuta wasn’t busy.  

“ Douzo .”

Taeyong’s heart sank when he opened Yuta’s office door and saw Kun there, though he tried not to show it.    

“Taeyong, what is it?” Yuta asked, an air of impatience radiating from him and from Kun as he turned around to see who was there.  

“ Shategashira ,” Taeyong saluted.  He felt like it was his first day all over again. “Sorry to interrupt.  I was just hoping to speak with you whenever you’re free.”

Yuta’s expression softened.  “Of course.  Why don’t you sit by the window while we finish up?”

“Thank you,” Taeyong said, bowing sheepishly and settling into one of the indicated chairs.  “Excuse me.”

Kun looked sideways at Taeyong, silent.  

“You can speak freely in front of him,” assured Yuta.  Kun nodded and pulled his attention back to the matter at hand.  

“I just don’t understand how they would have gotten ahold of that information.  Could it have been through Donghyuck’s crew?”  By “they” Taeyong assumed Kun meant the Yamaguchi-gumi.  

Yuta shook his head, placing his fingers in a check mark shape at his chin.  “I doubt it.  Donghyuck is extremely careful.”

Kun was growing exasperated.  Taeyong felt like maybe this was an interaction he shouldn’t be witnessing.  He didn’t quite know why he felt that way, though.  

“Well, Yuta, there has to be a weak link somewhere, and I trust that you’ll eliminate it.  We’re already in a less stable position than I was expecting upon arrival.”

Yuta smiled accommodatingly.  “Thank you for your confidence.  The leak could have also come from a different regiment, but I’m doing all I can to weed out whoever is responsible.”

“Good,” said Kun.  “Our success and our partnership could depend on this.”

“I understand.”

Right then, Chenle and Renjun showed up at the door, having finished a shopping trip down the street, to tell Kun that Ten was looking for him.  Taeyong thought he saw Kun direct a sliver of a smile his way as he left.  

Yuta sat up and joined Taeyong by the window in the chair to his left.  He sat and sighed, a big, open smile overtaking his face.  There was the whiplash again.

“Hi baby,” he said.

“Hi.”

“Did Johnny and Mina give you the talk?”

Taeyong snorted a laugh, looking at Yuta from under his fringy bangs.  “Yeah, they did.”

“You okay?” Yuta asked.  Taeyong shrugged.

“Could’ve been worse,” he guessed.  “Good stuff to know.”

Yuta leaned in.  “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”

“I guess a little.  But there was other stuff too.”

Taeyong looked around Yuta’s office.  He’d been stuck almost all day in rooms with concrete walls and fluorescent lighting, and it was making him want to jump out of his skin.  He told Yuta to wait a moment for him to get up and turn off the lights.  On second thought, while he was up and about, he opened the window to flush the room of the stench of stale cigarette smoke.  Yuta watched him with caution as he underwent his little chores.  Taeyong turned from the window and made his way back to his chair, eyes finally able to relax in the dimness.  

“Johnny and Mina said you’re worried I might be in danger.”

Yuta sighed again.  “I don’t necessarily think you’re in imminent danger, but I want to be safe.  It’s always a possibility.  Sorry if I scared you.”

“Like I told you this morning,” Taeyong repeated.  “You don’t scare me.  I just want you to be up front with me.”

“Up front, huh?” Yuta paused, his eyes flitting over the floor in thought.  “Truth is I’ve been worried about you since the Yamaguchi assassin.  It’s always risky to take on a new recruit, or a lover for that matter,” Taeyong blushed at the word, “but up until that point I don’t think the danger felt as real.  I would never forgive myself if I let something bad happen to you, Taeyong.”

One of the things Taeyong had been wondering about clicked into place for him.  “Your dream last night…is that what – ”

“Yes.  That’s part of why I was worried about frightening you.  Thought I might have said something while unconscious about you, I don’t know, getting abducted or something.”

“You didn’t,” said Taeyong, breathing a laugh.  

“Good.”  Yuta smiled, gaze trained at the open window and fingers fiddling with the bottom of his blazer.  Taeyong wondered if he was nervous to make eye contact.  “And then later when you mentioned how you’re basically stuck with me, then I felt like shit all over again because it’s true: you’re essentially my hostage.”  With that, Yuta finally looked Taeyong in the face.  “I just don’t know what to do when you say things like that. I know this seems silly, I mean I’ve never shied away from doing arguably unethical things before, but I couldn’t help but ask myself if you even like me -- ”

The pressure that had been threatening to send Taeyong shooting out of his own body finally became too much, and in lieu of doing the impossible, he found himself damming up Yuta’s stream of consciousness with a kiss.    

“There we go,” he teased, pulling away and reveling in the awestruck look on Yuta’s face.  “I had to shut you up somehow.”

Yuta’s face hadn’t moved since the kiss ended and a smile was spreading over it like melting butter. “That’s no way to speak to your commander,” he teased back, sounding a little drunk on relief.  Taeyong spoke.    

“ Shategashira , I hope you can forgive me.  But you are being ridiculous.  I like you, okay?  And it’s not because I’m scared or brainwashed.  I like you because I like you .  I like the way you make me feel.  I’m sorry for making you think I wanted to leave.”  

Yuta took Taeyong’s hand and kissed it.  “ I’m sorry for being such a basket case.  Aish, it’s embarrassing, huh?”

Taeyong snorted.  “Oh please.  If you weren’t insecure sometimes, I might actually be afraid of you.”

He smiled to himself, wondering for a moment if maybe he needed to stop thinking so much and just bask in the strange twist of fate that had brought him and Yuta together.  They were still getting to know each other, but Taeyong had never been with someone so charismatic yet so open.  If he was going to risk being kidnapped and tortured it might just end up being worth it.  Taeyong allowed himself to be lost enough in thought that a few seconds felt like minutes and he barely heard it when the door flung open without warning.  Yuta heard it though, wrenching his fingers from where they were laced between Taeyong’s.  

“Yuta-san!” said Renjun as he entered the room trailed by Chenle. “What’s going on in here?”

Yuta glared.  “Didn’t anyone teach you to knock?  That’s very disrespectful.”

“Sorry, didn’t know you had anything to hide,” Chenle quipped.  “Anyway, Kun is looking for you again.”

Yuta stood, reluctantly it seemed to Taeyong.  “Why couldn’t he send someone else to fetch me?”

Chenle rolled his eyes as they left the room and on the way out Taeyong heard Renjun explain, “because, he told us if all we were gonna do was loiter he might as well put us to use.”

Taeyong giggled, catching himself when Yuta peered back through the door.  “Hey, you can go home.  Or stick around and make some friends, yeah?”

Taeyong nodded.  “Yeah,” he agreed, and Yuta rapped his knuckles against the door with a grin before he was gone.  Taeyong stood, determined to have some Triad friends by the end of the day.    

[celosiaa]

steady, love (chapter 7)

Summary:

Martin is not doing well.

Jon is there with him through every step.

(because I became obsessed ™ with the idea of Martin dealing with the physical and emotional aftermath of leaving the Lonely)

Chapters 1-7 are up on ao3 under the same username!

(The EYE speaks in glitched text.  Jon’s thoughts are italicized.)

WARNINGS: illness, hospitals, medical talk, addiction mention

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

P̘ͮnͯͧ͋̏e͓̳̭͗ͩu͔̲ͥ̽̿ͯ̾m̲̑̉̿̏̅ͨ̿̔o̭͚͗̏̉̂̌ͪ̿͗n̪̟̫̩͉̍̓ͤ̈̿̂i͙̥͕̱̯̿ͮ͋̄ͣ̄̀a͎͔̮̻͗͊ͣ̓ͯ̄͛͒͑ ̝͇͍̯̫̺̋ͫͯ̍́ͤ̄ͤS̹͍͓̪̠̙̯̟̥̔ͬ̑̋ͪ̚e̻͉̳͈͕͔̟͍̲̖ͭ̈́̎̿ͦv͈͓̼̲̭͍̖̲͐̒̿͊ͬ̉ͭͅe̻̫̞̬̬̤̯̹ͨ̃ͤͩͤ̉ͦ̈r̪͚̙͖̩͉͓͙ͤ͐̆̽̑̊͒̚i̼̘̖̼͕̫̦̻̩̙̬͐̓ͣ̇̚t̤̙̹͉̭ͭ̄̔ͭ͊̍̓͛͋̚ẙ̼͙̩̻͈͙̈́́̒ͣ̿̋ͣ̚ ͙̺̱̣̪̒ͩ̋͑ͫͤͭ̓̌Î̺̼͓͇̖͖͋͒ͥ̓͋̇ṇ͇͎̓̿̄͛̐̂̽̿̓d͚̤̩̹ͤ̍̈ͭ͐̄͗e̫̺͓̺̤̺͋̒͋̂x̖̟̦͊͂͂̾̓ ͈ͨ̈̾ͣ̿̅Ŝ̗̗̈́̇c͓ͪͧ̓o̭̜re:

aͦ ̀c̤̏l̠ͪi̻͍n͉̿̋i͖ͨ̉c̘ͬͬa̗̖ͅl̹͊͂̈ ͉̊̉̔ẗ̗̥̣ö̻̳̓̄o͒͛̋̈́̚l̘̳͂̃͒ ͎̋͌ͪ͋f̙̖͑ͥ̒̍ọ̼̭ͭ̈̃r͎̥̪̓̏̇ ͖̞͍̐ͫ̀m̱̣̖̤̎ͯͩe̮̫̙ͯ͐̚ͅȧ͉̥ͨ̂ͧͣs̮̟̗͇ͧ͒̅u̥̥͕͔͕̔̾r͙͍̘ͨ̈́͗̂ḯ̠͙̹̘͒̍n̗̐̌̎̋́ͭ̊g͚̝̜̳̬̈́ͦ̂ ̘̗̗̓͂ͭ͊͑t͓͙̯̩͒͌̾͌h̲̳̝͓̊̓̆̚ẻ̥͚͉͙̑͒̑ ̫̤͊ͦͥ͊̄̈́l̮̦̯̏̎̽̈́ͥỉ̟̖̲ͯ̿̓̊k̜̬̮̙ͬ̑͂̂ḛ̭͕̽͊̄ͦͅl͇̺̼̤̿ͦ͒̚ï̠̙̮̪̠̓̎h̯̱͔͖ͭ͗̉ọ͖̝̘̔̊ͮo̳̬̬̩ͧͩ͋d̲̦̩̰̿̍͒ ̲ͨ̀̾͋͋ͩo̤͖̤͋ͨͭ̚f͌ͥ̈͂̄̅̈́ ̞ͨͭͬͭ̚m̮̪̄̆͋̔o̬̰̺̤ͥ̈́r̘̳̈́̔̐ͅt͕̳͇̎̉a͓̤̫͕ͪl̤͍̰͋ͮì̫̠̂͒t͙̥ͧͥẙ̤ͦ̓ ͓͇̺̻f̤́͂r̼͑̏o̦̱̘m͐̓ ̲ͮp̙̀ṉėu͉monia.

A̮ ̞s̬ͨc̥͈ǒ͆r͈͂e̪ͤ̚ ̼ͬͯiͭ̾̑s͙͗̌̓ ̮̪̝͙g̻̿̊͛i̹͛̒ͬv̯̄̿͊ͦe͚̺ͣͨͦn̙̹͂ͤͩ ̠͙̝̊͒b͊̇̔̆̉a̝̰ͧ́ͨs͕͖̝͗̌ḛ̣̥̄ͣḓ̥͌̄ͩ ͚̙͈͊ͯu̘ͪ̋̊̂p͕̥ͫͫ̚ȯ͖̙̒ͬn̗̓ͮ̎̿ ̘̽̈́̊͂t͙̞̻̯̏ḫ͉̰͕͚e̼̫̳̩̤ ͇̐͆͆̅f̓ͭ̄͛ő̜̯̫l̹̉ͪ̂l̩̘̻ͦo͔͕̊w̯̞̃i̇̍̈́n̞̾ͩg͙͒ ̻̊f̻̚a̽c̰t̄ors:

God, shut UP.

Jon buries his face in his hands, the familiar hunger-driven brain fog beginning to settle in.  It’s been nearly thirty minutes since Martin had his x-ray, and he’s been dozing ever since.  Left with nothing but the silence for company, Jon’s head has been spinning with information that he doesn’t want, he doesn’t need, he doesn’t understand.

He rubs at his eyes.

Christ, I am exhausted.

Before he can sink further into his misery, there is a sharp rapping on the door, and Jon is forced to pick up his head and push wearily forward.  Martin’s eyes flutter open along with the door, which reveals Aaron, cheery as ever.

“Hi again, how are we doing in here?” he says, flashing a wide smile in Martin’s direction.

Eyes still half-lidded with sleep, Martin gives yet another thumbs up in response.  At this, Jon cannot help but roll his eyes and sigh, sharing a sidelong look with the doctor.  Aaron returns the look, nodding at Jon in acknowledgment before he continues.

“That good, eh?  Well, the results are in, and—drumroll please…”

With a flourish, he slides Martin’s x-ray in front of the lightboard and points at dense-looking white spots on Martin’s lungs.

“You’ve got a pretty significantly sized infection in your left lung, with a small spot of infection in your right.  Which means that it’s a double pneumonia, and a pretty nasty one at that.  But you knew that already, I’d wager.”

Martin lets out a faint sigh, and nods.  Seeming to sense his growing fatigue, Aaron lowers himself to sitting on a rolling stool, and turns to address both Martin and Jon in a softer voice.

“What happens next is this: we need to get that fever down a bit and get you some antibiotics.  So we’re going to keep you here for a few hours while we get you those, as well as an IV to get you some liquids, and see what happens from there.  If you seem to be doing better, we’ll send you home with oral antibiotics and oxygen, in case you need it.  If not, we’re going to have to send you to the hospital in Aberdeen for treatment tonight, since I can’t keep anyone overnight here.  Does that all make sense?”

Sending a glance towards Martin, Jon squeezes his hand to elicit some sort of response, but he merely continues to stare at the doctor, blinking owlishly.  Jon clears his throat.

“Err, yes—that makes perfect sense, thank you,” Jon replies for him, certain that Martin had not taken in anything that had just been said.

“Happy to help,” Aaron replies, shooting Jon a lopsided grin. “Anything else I can do for you in the meantime?”

Jon takes a moment to think, watching as Martin’s eyes droop closed once again.

Basira.  She’ll want to know.

“Actually, yes—is there a phone I can use here?”

“’Course, just take a right down the hall.  Can’t miss it.”

“Thanks.”

Aaron stands from his stool then, clapping a hand on Jon’s shoulder.

“No trouble!  Isla—Martin’s nurse—will be around to get all that stuff to you.  I’m just a shout away if you need me, alright?”

“Right.  Thank you, Aaron.”

He dims the lights as he exits, closing the door behind him.  Turning his attention back to Martin, still drifting into fever-induced slumber, Jon takes up his left hand again, holding it in both of his own.  Slowly, nervously, he begins working his fingers over Martin’s palm, clumsily imitating Martin’s well-practiced massage technique.  He looks down at his own hands, scowling at the scars peppered across them, faded and pale against the dark of his skin.

My hands are too rough, this is foolish.

He is proven definitively wrong when Martin lets out a soft sigh of contentment, fogging up the mask instantly.

Jon grins from ear to ear and keeps going.

(13:37)

His left knee aches as he walks unevenly toward the hall phone, old injury pulling at him in the wake of half-carrying Martin to the car that morning.

Should have brought my brace.

Martin has been sleeping on and off for the past few hours, rousing only to cough or smile pleasantly at Isla when she comes by to tend to him.  He’s been set up with IV fluids and fever reducers since noon, and his first dose of antibiotics went down with little issue.  Left only with the prospect of waiting to see what happens, Jon finally feels comfortable enough to leave a sleeping Martin in the room for a while to call Basira, grab some coffee, find a bite to eat, and—

No, you will NOT smoke today.  Not an option.

Reaching the phone, Jon hesitates for a moment, mulling over what to say before finally dialing Basira’s number.  She lets it ring out a few times before picking up brusquely.

“Hussain speaking.”

“Basira?  It’s Jon.”

“Jon?  I don’t recognize this number.  Where are you?  What’s going on?” she asks rapidly, voice ticking up in concern.

“I’m calling from the village clinic.  You said to call if Martin got worse, and…well, he has.”

“Shit.  What happened?  Is he alright?”

Jon sighs exhaustedly, running a hand through his hair.  He can’t quite keep his voice from shaking.

“I’m…not sure, yet.  They’re keeping him under observation for the rest of the day to see if he needs to go to the hospital.”

“Jesus.”

“He was running a fever of nearly 40 this morning and sounded like…well, like he couldn’t breathe, so I took him here for help.  Apparently he’s got pneumonia.  He’s fallen asleep, so…I thought I’d call to let you know.”

“Oh, Jesus.”

“Y…yeah.”

Jon’s voice breaks roughly.

“How are you holding up?” she asks, in what might be the gentlest tone Jon has ever heard from her.

A lump forms immediately in his throat, making his eyes sting and his vision swim at the edges.

Pull it together, come on.

Tipping his head back for a moment, he blinks away the tears and takes a damp, shuddering breath that must have been audible on the other end.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” she soothes, her voice nearly a whisper.

Jon clutches at the receiver, as if it will somehow bring her closer.

“I-I’m fine, Basira.  Just…just tired.  And worried,” he says, voice thick.

“And hungry?”

“…yes.”

She sighs at this, pulling her phone away from her face for a moment.  Jon braces for her tone to be harsh upon her return, but to his relief, it remains decidedly softened— understanding, even.

“The statements should be there by tomorrow.  So there’s something good, at least.”

“R-right.  Something good.”

Silence falls for a moment before Basira continues, her voice returning to her usual matter-of-fact register.

“He’s going to be alright, Jon.  Even if he does have to go to the hospital.  He’ll recover, and then you can get back to your usual hopeless pining.”

At this, Jon can’t resist huffing out a laugh.

“Well…it’s not so hopeless anymore, actually.”

She gasps in shock.

“You’re joking!  You actually went for it, then?”

“Not-not exactly, it just sort of…happened.  I don’t know exactly how, but—yeah.  It’s…good.  Really good, actually,” he stammers, unable to keep his smile from bleeding into his tone.

“God, listen to you.  You’re like an enamored schoolboy,” she replies fondly.

Jon sputters in mock-indignation, pulling a hearty laugh from Basira.

“Well, I’m happy for you both.  You deserve something lovely, for once.”

“So do you, Basira,” Jon replies softly.

“…thanks.”

They allow the silence hang for a moment.  Basira then exhales sharply before continuing.

“Well, enough of the mushy shit.  Let me know what the doctors say, alright?  And tell Martin I hope he feels better soon.”

“I will.  Call you later, then.”

“You’d better.”

She hangs up on him, as always.

(14:43)

Half-empty coffee and a bagel in hand, Jon walks back to Martin’s room from where he had been standing outside, fiddling with an unlit cigarette for the better part of an hour.  It had taken everything in him, but he had managed not to light it, instead walking back through the clinic doors and deciding to snag some food on the way back to the room.  He cannot help the guilt welling up inside—for his struggle, for the way his hands are shaking, for bringing the cigarettes with him in the first place—

He opens the door to see Martin smiling back at him, and it all fades away.

Cheeks flushed and face pale, Martin is half-sitting in up in bed now, the heat no longer rolling off him with such vicious intensity as before.  His oxygen mask has now been replaced with a nasal cannula, allowing Jon a clear picture of the sunny smile Martin offers so freely.

Something warm tugs at Jon’s heart, and a wide grin spreads across his face.

“Well, well, look who’s got an upgrade,” he says lightly, stepping toward the bedside.

Martin’s own smile widens at this, and he reaches out for Jon’s hand as he sets his coffee and bagel on a nearby table.  Scooting his chair closer before sitting, Jon gently takes Martin’s hand in both of his own, closing his eyes and lowering his lips to the back of Martin’s palm.

3̙̩8͖̓͊.̘̹̎7͖̏.͙

At last.

Jon smiles against Martin’s hand for a moment before looking back up.

“Your temperature’s down,” he says, trying not to sound as dizzy with relief as he feels.

Martin nods quickly before clearing his throat, causing something to catch in his chest.  Turning away at once, he presses his face into his elbow as heavy-sounding coughing erupts from him, causing Jon’s brows to knit closer together in worry with every moment that passes.  Mercifully, the coughs fade away after about fifteen seconds.  Martin flops back gracelessly against the pillows, panting and exhausted.

And still smiling.

“Lucky to have you,” he rasps, lifting a hand to Jon’s cheek.

Jon leans closer, expression lightening, and brings up a hand to press against Martin’s palm where it rests.

“Lucky to have you,” he whispers, gazing intensely into the warm hazel of Martin’s eyes.

They remain like this for several seconds, neither wanting to violate the sanctity of this moment.  Martin then inhales sharply, mouth open to say something—before snapping it shut again, looking suddenly nervous.  Jon’s brows furrow instinctively.

“What is it, darling?” he asks, head tilting to the side of Martin’s palm.

The corners of Martin’s mouth curl up at the term of endearment, pulling a deep flush to his cheeks and ears.  Looking up again, he determinedly matches the intensity of Jon’s gaze.

“I…I love, you, Jon.”

He inhales more confidence.

“I love you.  Just…so much.”

Every nerve in Jon’s body is on fire.  Vacantly, he knows that his mouth is hanging open, his eyes wide, his face flushing with heat—but for a moment, he cannot move, nor breathe, nor speak.

Martin LOVES me.

Martin loves ME.

At last, he regains some measure of control, managing to keep hold of Martin’s left hand while shifting his weight to sit on the edge of his bed.  Reaching out his other toward his face, he cups Martin’s cheek with a still-shaking hand.  Their faces are just inches apart now, hovering, begging to be pressed together.

“I love you too, Martin Blackwood.  More than…more than I know how to say.”

Martin smiles then, wide and charming, before craning his neck up to brush his lips against Jon’s, questioning.

“Say it like this, then?” he whispers.

“Gladly.”

Their lips meet in a gentle blush of a thing, hesitant and brief, before deepening into a warm, unhurried kiss.  Martin’s hands move into Jon’s hair as they find the perfect rhythm, gentle and passionate and utterly their own.  When he manages to pull small noises of pleasure from Martin, Jon grins against his lips in pride before pulling him back in for more.

After nearly a minute, Martin urgently pushes back against Jon’s chest.  Immediately breaking contact, Jon pushes himself away frantically, careful not to touch him, panicked at the thought that he’d done something wrong.

“M-Martin, I’m so sorry, what ha—”

He is cut off as Martin pitches forward violently, coughing deeper than Jon has ever heard—as thick grey fog pours from his mouth, his eyes, his nostrils.

“God, Martin, here, here—”

Jon braces him by the shoulders as he leans forward, chest rumbling in desperation to clear the way for oxygen.  Guilt floods Jon as he feels the force of Martin’s convulsions beneath his hands.

Why did you kiss him?  Damn it damn it damn it

Dense fog is filling the room now, and Jon is struck with terror at the thought of anyone entering the room to see this.  The tendrils have nearly reached the door, could snake beneath it at any moment—

Tͮ̀h̥ͫ̎̂ë̗̹̯̜y̬͔͖̝̅̇ͧ ̯͙͈͖͙̈́͛̚w̮̺̻̜̔̈́ͬͩͮi̙̠̙͍̤̒ͩ̂̽l̺̣̣͕̩̥̟̈́̔ͨl̯̺̩̳̰͂̍̉̈́͌ ̼̼̬̟̞̘̏̈́̌͑ñ̩̞̲̯̤̅̉ͮo͓̝̠͌ͤ͊͗̿ͤṭ̯͂̈ͥͧ̂͆ ̳̦̣̃ͬ͒c͓ͥ̍͛̃o̔ͪ̈́m̓ͮe.

Jon pays for this knowledge with pain, every Mark on his body throbbing furiously.

Breathe it in, and let it go.

Breathe, let go.

Focus.

At long last, Martin’s hacking subsides, leaving him utterly spent and hunched forward on the bed.  Jon begins rubbing slow circles on his back with aching hands, calming him as he finally manages to regain his breath.  After a few moments, Jon gently guides him to lie back against the pillows.  Tears leak out of the corners of Martin’s eyes as he does so, and Jon’s heart clenches briefly with sympathy before Martin begins to laugh, a toothy grin spreading across his face.

“Wh…what is it, Martin?” he asks, confused.

“I think…I think that was the last of it, Jon,” he says, voice wobbling.

Jon inhales sharply, taking Martin’s hand.

“What? Really?”

“Y-yeah, really.  I can feel it, I…I think it’s really gone.  I’m not…I’m not Lonely, anymore.”

More tears spill over Martin’s cheeks as he resumes his weak laughter.  His own eyes brimming, threatening to cascade over a growing smile, Jon cups Martin’s face in his hands, wiping gently at his tears with his thumbs.  He then moves upwards, stroking a hand through Martin’s soft curls, watching as the last remaining bits of the fog dissipate forever.

A few minutes later, Martin smiles up at him, playfully swatting at his forearm.

“Let’s not do that again until I can breathe properly, though.”

At this, Jon laughs in earnest, before pressing his lips tenderly against Martin’s forehead.

I love him I love him I love him I love him

And he loves me.

He loves me.

[diamondcamefromhell]

Timeless love

Jaskier x female reader series part 3

[PART 1] ; [PART  2]

Summary: This is an AU, where Y/N is a young woman, trying to make ends meet with her freelancing writing job. She lives in her small Nottingham studio apartment along with her cat Apollo. Things change when one evening as she is waiting for her taxi, she meets what she thinks is Joey Batey, but the man in front of her is convinced he’s Jaskier, a character from her current favorite show. Y/N now has to figure out what to do.

Warnings: Swearing, vomit, alcoholism and alcohol-related borderline abuse

Word count: 2,251

NOTE:

This part has some heavier stuff than any other work Ive written, so please, proceed with caution for your own sake. nothing too graphic happens, but still want to make sure you know that it does have a certain character that could be triggering to some. he wont be a dominant feature in all parts, but i feel it’s important for Jaskier to interact with people like that, as he continues to learn about our world. 

hope you enjoy this part nonetheless. feedback, as always, is greatly appreciated <3 [im really nervous to see what yall think]

I don’t know when, but I managed to get some sleep. Not much, as it was just 7 am when Apollo started meowing and jumping on me, asking to be fed. I sit up, my gaze immediately going to the coach, where Jaskier seemed to be sleeping soundly.

I crawl out of the bed, going to the kitchen, where I see lute back by the fridge. He eventually put it down last night. I wonder how long did it take for him to fall asleep. I sigh, as quietly as possible pouring some food for my cat, who purrs as a thank you.

I stare out the window, as cars start going up and down the street. The town is waking up. I tiptoe around my apartment to go get my laptop from the coffee table. I am surprised Jaskier didn’t ask about it last night. But then again, he didn’t know most of the things in my apartment, he probably was overwhelmed.

I go back to my bed, opening and booting up my old friend. As I enter the password, I am greeted with a picture of him and Geralt on that rock, at the end of episode 6. I loved that whole scene so much. I stare at it, not believing the same bard is sleeping on my coach. I know better, so I change the picture to one of the default ones.

I open chrome, exiting the youtube page that has his song on it. He is not ready for that.

Or maybe I wasn’t. But it didn’t matter.

I go to email, checking for work. I have a few requests, and I decide it’s best to get some work done before Jaskier wakes up and we have to have more awkward conversations. I manage to write two articles, and then he awakens.

His face, for a second, is full of confusion, but then he seems to remember where he is. Now, his expression grows sad. I know he probably wished this were just a nightmare. I know he wished to wake up, back home. With Geralt and even Yennefer. But instead he got me and Apollo, who was already jumping on the coach, greeting Jaskier.

“So that wasn’t a dream,” he murmurs, but I catch it. I close my laptop.

“I’m afraid not.” I respond, as he looks at me, his expression still cold. “I’m sorry.”

“Well, what can you do.” He forces a smile, which I don’t really like, but I decide it’s best not to comment on that. Instead, I nod.

“I wish I could do something. Anyway,” I clear my throat. “Are you up to trying something new?”

“Depends on what it is.” Jaskier perks up, his clouded gaze clearing a little.

“Dirty beans.” I say, jumping out of my bed, I smirk at him. “Or as people call it – coffee.”

“I think I will pass on dirty beans.” He frowns and I giggle.

“You will not.” I say, as he smiles, just a little. And I know it’s genuine. A little hope in these dark times.

I go turn on my coffee maker, putting in the capsule. I decide to make him a latte, nothing too strong. I make myself giggle, when I realize he may be lactose intolerant. I guess we will find out. I stare at him, and decide to add two sugars.

For myself, however, I go black, with one sugar. I need the energy, as I feel absolutely exhausted. I take the drinks, giving him his cup. He sniffs the drink, taking a sip. I don’t sit down, closely watching his reaction.

He doesn’t frown, and actually looks pleasantly surprised. Smile curls his lips, and I catch myself smiling too.

“Glad you like my dirty beans.” I say, finally sitting down, sipping my own. The bitter taste hits my taste buds, waking me up in an instant.

“It’s nice. Thank you.” I smile.

“You are welcome, Jaskier.” I say, leaning back on the couch. “Let me know if you are hungry, I will cook something.”

“I will, thanks.” I glance at him, realizing how surreal it is. Yet we both seem calm.

“Then we might need to go out. Try to see if we can find something around here.” I feel anxiety rush over me. “It’s best if we do it in a day too. Safer.”

“What will we look for?” I shrug, closing my eyes.

“We’ll see it when we find it.” I look at his attire now. “However, you will have to change.”

“Sorry, I didn’t pack anything.” He says, smirking, and I feel a wave of ease wash over me. I am glad he is making jokes.

“I have some clothes that should fit you. I think.” He looks confused, nearly scared, so I continue. “Not my clothes, but I buy some for Dave, he sometimes needs them, because well… he doesn’t have that much.”

“Dave?” I cant read Jaskier’s tone, but he seems confused.

“He lives in the apartment in front of mine. We are… acquaintances at best.” Jaskier nods, as I place my coffee down.

I rush to my small wardrobe, going to the second drawer, where I keep clothes for Dave. Poor guy vomits on himself so often, and he doesn’t know how to wash clothes exactly. If they’re not too disgusting, I wash them, but I keep fresh ones at hand.

I get them at a thrift store, so most of them aren’t to fancy or anything.

I pull a pair of old black jeans, trying to imagine if Jaskier could fit in them. I think he should, but then again, I didn’t exactly examine how he looks that much. I’ve seen it for hours on tv. Dave is not a big man, and I thank my angels for that, as I pull a white shirt that should fit Jaskier too. I dig around to find a pink hoodie.

For a moment I think he wouldn’t wear it, but then I remember what he is wearing now and realize he probably would be fine with a bit of pink. I turn around, revealing his outfit, but Jaskier looks confused.

“Please tell me you know how to dress yourself.” I tease, and he laughs.

“I do, if you can’t tell, I dress nicely.” I chuckle, but don’t respond. “This is weird.”

“Just change.” I throw the clothes to him, and he starts undressing before my very own eyes. It takes me a moment for shock to pass away, before the blush rushes to my face. “In the bathroom for Christs sake!”

I point to the only other room in my apartment as the bard looks very confused. But one look at me, flustered and red sends the message, as he smirks, gathering his clothes and leaving the room. I fan my face with my hands.

Now I don’t meant to act like such a loser and fear seeing a man’s nipple. It’s just that I know I might have to stay with him for a couple more days, so it might make things weird. Also, I already had a crush on him, kinda, and I didn’t want to deepen it even more.

When he comes out, I am already seated, calmed down and drinking my coffee. I turn my face and immediately feel a wave of something rush over me. He looks so different. The pants are a bit big, I notice, but nothing a belt cant fix. The shirt, however, fits perfect, hugging his body. And the zip up hoodie ads a familiar pop of colour.

I feel my face become hot again.

“Verdict?” He asks, twirling around.

“You need a belt.” I say in one breath, rushing to get him the damn thing, before his pants fall off. Which, they nearly did already. When they are secure, I give one final look. “You look normal, so you’re good, I guess.”

“I don’t feel normal.” He says bitterly, and I sigh.

“I know, Jaskier. Not your usual attire, but this way, you will stand out less.” I stare at him, knowing there is a way bigger problem at hand.

He now literally looks like Joey Batey. An exact replica. And if someone, who has seen the hit show, sees him, it will be bad. I suddenly get a headache.

“We have a different problem. You look exactly like someone well known. That’s why I mistook you when I saw you last night.” I say, rubbing my temples.

“Who?” I sigh again.

“Joey. Joey Batey.” I grunt, closing my eyes. “If people recognize you as him, there might be… trouble.”

“Do townsfolk know him that well?” I glare at the man, but then I remember he seemingly knows nothing about my world. So I ease up.

“Yes. He’s like Geralt.” I compare. “The world just knows him. I guess we will have to stay close to home. And wear your hood up.”

I ignore my headache, chugging down my coffee, as Jaskier puts his hood up. He looks adorable, but I don’t say that, instead I nod, approving. I decide to go without breakfast, as the more I think about having to go outside, the more anxious I get.

And I am out of my medication, since I don’t like going to a doctor.  I silently curse myself out, as we make our leave. The corridor still stinks, so I give Jaskier an apologetic glance, who in return gives me a soft smile. I feel a chill rush down my spine, when the door behind our backs open. I drop my keys, thankfully after I already locked the door.

I quickly pick them up, turning around to face my neighbour. Dave is staring at Jaskier, his eyes wide with surprise. He has never seen me bring a man home.

Dave is wearing grey joggers, with various stains on it. I notice some blood, but realize it’s best not to ask, not with Jaskier in the earshot. His shirt also clearly has dried vomit on it, and he oozes of vodka and something else. It makes me dizzy and sick.

I try to imagine what the bard is seeing. A frail, tiny white male. Bald, but with a black creepstache. Shaking uncontrollably. It must be so confusing. I want for us to get away, only then I notice Jaskier shielding me ever so slightly. My heart beats faster.

“Hello Dave.” I say through my teeth, stepping in front of Jaskier, so now I would shield him from the curious stare.

“Y/N, sweetheart. Didn’t know you had company.” He says, holding on his door frame, stabilizing himself. I force a smile.

“Yes, well. He’s a friend.” I say, stepping in front of ‘my friend’ more. Dave wasn’t generally violent, but he could get jealous and insecure from every male person who ever walked this earth. Let’s say he has a fragile ego.

“Introduce us, then!” He smiles, and I notice he’s missing his front tooth now. Poor man.

“I’d rather not, Dave.” I say, firmly, as he takes a step forward, using me as a stabilizer now. I want to step away, but I know it would cause a scene. And he wasn’t generally violent, but there instances.

“C’mon sweetheart.” He leans in, whispering. “Your friends are my friends.”

“I said no.” My voice comes out weak as the stench from his is making me feel dizzy. I feel like I am about to throw up.

“She has said no, Dave.” Jaskier speaks, startling me. I almost forgot he was there. He steadies me, as I didn’t even realize I was drifting back. Then I notice my hands shaking. I’m beginning to panic. Fuck.

“We are in a rush, Dave.” I deescalate the situation, as my neighbor was shooting daggers at Jaskier. “Next time, I will introduce you two.”

“Where are you going?” Dave steps back, but he grabs my upper hand. I get startled, squirming a little. That seems to tip off Jaskier.

“Let go.” He steps in front of me now, his voice firm. Dave, to my surprise, listens, letting me go immediately.

“You got yourself a good man, Y/N.” He says, laughing. He steps in his apartment, slamming the door. I lean on the wall, taking a couple deep breaths, which don’t help as it stinks in here.

“Are you okay?” I shake my head.

“I need fresh air.”

I practically jump down the stairs, and when I reach outside, I go around the corner to throw up. My stomach hurts.

Dave is usually kind. He rarely ever lays his hands on me, but whenever he does, it’s never nice. I wish Jaskier wasn’t there to witness this. I glance over my shoulder, to see his worried look, I straighten up, wiping my mouth.

“I’m fine.” I grunt, ignoring the fact that his gaze doesn’t change.

“You shouldn’t have to deal with that, a lady like you…” I lift my hand, annoyed. He get’s the hint, shutting up.

“In this world, Jaskier, I’m no lady.” I put my hair behind the ear, anxiously looking around. “Get used to that.”

“It’s not fair.” He argues, worry not leaving his face. I sigh, walking past him.

“The world isn’t fair.” I bitterly say, before taking a deep breath. I face Jaskier again. “Now let’s look for something that could help you.”

He knows this conversation is over, as I feel anxiety come back. I have no idea what to look for or where to even begin.

[PART 4]

~~~~~~~~

TAG LIST [if you wish to be added or removed from the tag list, lmk]

@ultracolorfulnerdcollection ; @viyamystic ; @sleepyblossom ; @killjoy-acid-crash

[cheswirls]

it’s your extension (let me extend) 1/6

[ small preface: this is one giant 30k oneshot. its meant to be read as a oneshot, especially with the formatting. ive divided it up for sa week bc i think it fits all the themes collectively, but on day 7, ill post it all together as a oneshot. probably definitely on another platform, ill link it here, though. each piece is around 5k words, and i cant promise each one will fit the day’s themes exactly. collectively, all the themes are in here somewhere. it’s not gonna align perfectly. 

with that all out of the way, i hope you enjoy! ive been working on this for a little over a month, now. if you recognize the au it is, you won’t notice many changes, but i like how it came out anyway. if you don’t recognize it, get ready for a ride.

also thanks to @saboace-week​ for hosting ! ]

he reminds ace of his mother.

light, blond hair hanging just past his nape; piercing eyes that hold an array of emotions, none of them harsh; fair, fair skin, and if he squints he can envision a smattering of freckles dusted onto his cheeks, not unlike his own. he cards a hand through the hair; his eyes narrow. 

he can see her.

the scar catches him off-guard. it’s not noticeable until he parts the hair a little, but then there it is, stark as day, red ragged lines breaking up the pale skin. it’s not until he takes off the old sweatshirt functioning as a pajama top that he realizes the extent of the damage.

the red ran all down his left side. cutting into his shoulder, up his neck; circling around his ribs, and he turns to see it nearly to his spine on his back; down to his thighs, to his knees, just barely on the border of red on his calves; his arm is littered with white scars and red burn marks, and he finds himself growing curious. whatever it was from, it was Big. 

it was intentional.

ace blinks and the movement echoes in the mirror, blue eyes gazing back at him. and he blanches, finally waking, finally realizing no, this was not normal, this was actually happening he brings both pale hands up to his face, tries to hide his eyes. his breath stutters.

a shrill alarm sounds and he jumps, spinning around to find a discarded phone on the bed going off. he moves over to it and it reads koala on the id and he panics and taps ‘ignore’ and lets his heart calm down.

the alarm goes off again and he jumps again and picks up the phone, almost ready to turn it off, when he finds its an actual alarm going off. ‘you’re late at this point’, it reads. ‘good luck’, it reads. 

ace turns it off and takes a seat on the bed, head falling into his hands. stringy blond locks fall around him. 

what the fuck. this isn’t what he wished for. he wanted-

and he sits up, sudden, limbs jerking in protest. he climbs the rest of the way onto the bed, towards the small window in the corner, and pulls a blind open, peering out.

a view of goa greets him. traffic, towers, teems of people absolutely everywhere.

ace slowly closes the blind, turns around, and sinks back onto the bed. he takes a deep breath, in and out. 

“THIS ISN’T WHAT I MEANT!” he shouts from the top of his lungs. when he said he wanted to live in the city, to be in the city-

when he wished he were reincarnated as-

“am i dead?” he breathes. only the quiet answers him back.

-

sabo rolls over in his sleep, prying his eyes open. he breathes out in a huff, squinting as he realizes he can see through the slats of the door. what, did he fall asleep at his desk again? and then fall out of the chair? that seemed a bit impossible, so then why . .

he tips his head, and his cheek brushes fabric, and he hums, realizing there was something under him under the floor. 

before he can process that, the door slams open. sabo’s eyes widen as he’s met with little feet, and then he looks up, meeting the gaze of a scrawny kid.

“ace, get up already!” the kid snaps. “we already ate all of the food! if you’re not ready in ten minutes, i’m leaving you.”

he slams the door back into place, and sabo lies there, eyes blown and mind wide awake.

he’s so taken in by the kid’s words that for a second he finds himself scrambling up, counting down the seconds, remembering the time limit.

then he turns around and realizes he was asleep on a futon and he was in a wooden room and he trips on his way to look out the window before grasping the sill, raising his head above it, and his jaw drops as he’s met with a sprawling lake view, and of a whole community painted into the sides of a mountain. no, not a mountain, his mind helpfully supplies. the sides of a crater.

he blinks and his gaze zooms until he’s gazing at his own reflection, except it’s not him in the window. it’s a boy with tanned skin and long, black hair that fell just to his shoulders. they were broad, and he frowns, looking down as he runs a hand down the washboard chest, bare. damn. his eyes catch on a red band looped around his wrist, tied in a sloppy knot. he tugs and it comes loose, unraveling easily, and he hums as he spies a few other colors near the end.

“ace! let’s go!” a voice calls from somewhere deeper in the house, and sabo scrambles to his feet again, dropping the band on the ground. he swivels his head until he spots a uniform hanging from a closet door. it’s nondescript, so he hopes there’s only one school in this small town, else he go to the wrong one.

. . on second thought, with the kid leading him, maybe not.

he patters over to it, pausing once he grabs the hangers to look at his reflection in an actual mirror. oh. okay. so this was actually happening. he was in the body of someone named-

he stops. blinks. no. this had to be a dream, right?

he throws the white shirt over his head, tugging the collar down, and hums to himself in affirment as he works on the pants. right. this was a dream. had to be. 

he’s slipping on the jacket when the kid barges in again, comes over, grabs him by the back of the jacket, and begins to shove him out of the room. “now! come on! we gotta go!”

“o-okay,” he voices, marveling at the change in pitch to what he was used to. deeper, slightly. he spies the red band again and lunges for it, tumbling out of the kid’s hold for a moment. “wait,” he breathes, grasping it, and then the kid’s on him again, pushing him towards the door.

“ace!” he whines. “come on!”

“luffy!” a voice calls from somewhere below. they exit the room and sabo spies a figure near the bottom of a staircase. “you’re going to be late!”

“coming!” luffy yells, still pushing him as sabo struggles to get his bearings, still grasping at the change in scenery. he clutches the red band tightly.

-

ace stumbles from the room, marveling at the change in height. the guy had a few on him, that was for sure. he moves down the hall, passing the simple furnishings until he’s in the frame of the kitchen entry, nose twitching at the smell of stale food.

a woman looks up from her phone at the small table for two, eyeing him for a moment before humming and looking back down. after another moment, she removes herself from the chair, shuffling around some dishes. “what was that shouting about earlier?” she asks, gesturing for ace to take her seat. he does, sliding down and picking up the extra pair of chopsticks.

“uh, nothin’,” ace mutters, mouth already full of leftover food.

“right.” the woman rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling a moment later. “well, i’m out. there should be another train leaving in half an hour. you have until then to get ready.”

“‘kay,” ace mumbles, nodding as she waves and exits the room. a moment later, a door shuts from the end of the hall. ace finishes the food soon after and sighs, setting the chopsticks down. 

school, then. 

he wanders back into the bedroom and approaches the uniform hanging from the back of a chair. the first issue was getting there, which . .

he glances at the phone. koala would know, right?

but, as soon as he thinks it, he lets the thought go. 

he opts to take a picture of the crest stitched to the blazer instead, doing a reverse image search to determine which goa school it belonged to. a result pops up pretty handily, and he hums, putting it into a map. oh. so, it was pretty far. he glances to the window again.

after a moment, he searches the map for the nearest train station. not close either.

  . . . his gaze moves back to the window.

ace sighs, slumping where he stood. there was no way he was catching that next train. he’d be lucky if he made it there by noon.

why was city life so hard?

after he’s gotten dressed and grabbed a bag, he stuffs whatever he can think of down into it. phone charger. notebook. wallet. pencil. sketchbook? he blinks, eyeing it for a moment, then shoves it in as well. no harm, right?

he moves back across the apartment and pauses at the mouth of the kitchen, gaze fixed on the small dishes still set out on the table. sighing, he slides the backpack off his shoulder and steps forward. right. there was no gramps to clean them up, so he’d have to do it himself then.

he pauses again after locking the front door, keys halfway shoved into his pocket. he didn’t even know this guy’s name. well, it probably wouldn’t be long until he did, but hopefully it wouldn’t cause any problems.

catching the train is a rush. ace sits in a seat very close to the door, sighing as everything begins to move. while he waits, he takes out the phone again and looks through it, trying to find anything to help him out. he ends up tapping on a social media app, and when the screen loads, hums.

“sabo, huh?” he mutters under his breath. okay. he could work with that.

-

sabo doesn’t have to worry about luffy guiding him, because they run into some people he apparently should know.

“ace!”

the word is a single, concise syllable, spoken loud and with momentum, and, more importantly, from right behind him. sabo jumps, just about crawls out of his skin, and spins around to see a girl just about his height looking at him funny, lips pursed, and a hand poised to chop his head. he steps back more, glancing over at luffy, who huffs out a sigh.

“i’ll meet you at home,” he says, motioning to a fork in the path ahead. one slopes down, curving a little around the cliffside, and the other continues upward, towards the crest. “whatever’s going on, i hope you’re over it by then.” with another odd glance, luffy tightens his hold on his backpack straps and takes off down the path. sabo is left alone, and turns to watch as a boy approaches the girl, and therefore him, as well, pushing a bike at his side.

“nothing’s going on?” he mutters, even though that’s an obvious lie. whatever he’s doing, he’s doing it wrong.

“are you sure?” the girl says, crossing her arms. “because it looks like you couldn’t even be bothered to brush your hair this morning.”

sabo blinks, reaching up to tug on one of the black strands. he thought it’d been naturally unruly. guess not.

“whatever. let’s go already.” she turns and nods to the other boy, then grabs sabo by the arm and pulls him into a walk alongside them. her eyes turn down and she makes a little noise in the back of her throat. “you brought your ribbon and you’re not even using it?”

sabo glances down as well, spying his impulse grab hanging from his hand. he lifts it. “ribbon?” it didn’t look like it.

the girl shrugs, waving a hand. “might as well be. look, if you didn’t have time to do your hair, you can just say so. but we’re not even there yet. i have a mirror if you need it.”

she fumbles for her bag, searching through it, and then frowns. “nevermind. hey, kidd, you got one?”

“always,” he boasts, passing over a small pocket mirror with ease. sabo takes it, frowning. he looks down and attempts to pat the hair down, and then glances again to the band in his other hand. so, if it functioned like a ribbon . .

well. that made sense.

he hands the mirror back and holds the band in his teeth, using his hands to situate the long black hair. then he grabs the red with one hand and strings it around, until it held the hair in a loose knot. he glances over at the other two after finishing, waiting for approval. the girl shrugs after a moment. 

“good enough, i guess.”

sabo sighs out in relief, and then they’re in front of the school and kidd’s parking his bike and something chimes in the far distance. they grab for each of his arms and pull him through the front doors, moving quickly to a classroom. it’s not until they’re inside that he realizes another dilemma. people were still moving in, and there were open seats.

he reaches back to grab the girl’s arm, a small look of panic fixed on his face despite his best efforts. “where do i sit . . ?”

her eyes widen, and she stares at him. and stares. stares.

then, very calmly, she blinks and points to a desk near a window, almost in the corner of the room. sabo just nods, head down, and moves toward it.

-

ace moves down the hall slowly, still paging through a twitter feed on the phone. there were background shots of a classroom, and it had a high window, which meant the second floor. if only there was a glimpse of a number, then he’d really be set-

“sabo!” a shout echoes down the hall, making ace throw his head up. a redhead marches toward him, looking pissed, and he blanches, turning the phone off and trying to straighten out.

“uh, whatever i did, i can explain,” he says, because ace has always been about resolving conflict. then he mentally slaps himself, because that was the worst possible thing he could’ve said. he didn’t know the first thing about sabo, much less what he did to piss off the girl so much.

“you better!” she huffs, stabbing a finger into his chest. ace takes it with a wince. “ignoring my call like that! how dare you.”

so it was his fault, then. “i thought it was my alarm,” he says quickly. “it went off right after your call. sorry.” okay, so maybe not exactly true, but it would work. he eyes the girl in a new light. so this was koala.

she crosses her arms over her chest. “which one? had to be the ‘you’re late anyway, so hurry up’ one, right? how can you be here at noon?” she sighs. “it’s lunch, for god’s sake!”

“sorry,” ace says again.

her lips purse. “fine. i won’t press. c’mon, it’s stuffy in here, let’s eat outside.”

eat. his expression changes as he realizes. koala glances at him and rolls her eyes.

“you forgot lunch, didn’t you?”

he did, and he’s kinda hungry. he claps his hands together. “please share?”

“you’re lucky i like you,” koala mutters, jerking a door open.

koala insists he come to a cafe with her after school, and ace’s mouth waters at the thought. the closest they had out in fuusha was an old vending machine on top of the crest. inside, it’s crowded with people, but koala squeezes them into a two-seater and props up a menu, then begins rambling about the day. ace tunes her out, eyes widening as he glances at all the pictures. he wanted to try them all.

“that’s a lot of money,” koala comments, and he realizes he’d spoken aloud. ace looks up, then digs in his bag, looking into his wallet. he lets out a sigh.

“yeah, guess you’re right.” he hums, flipping the page and spotting a piece of cheesecake dripping with strawberry sauce. his mouth waters again. “then, i’ll just take this one.”

halfway through their meal, ace’s phone pings. he picks it up carelessly, smiling, too busy enjoying his cake. the text makes him reconsider.

koala pauses in her movements upon noticing his expression. “what’s wrong?”

“i’m late for work,” ace tells her.  apparently.

“oh, you had a shift?” she waves him off. “go, then. i don’t mind.”

“yea, thanks.” he stands, pocketing his phone, and stuffs the last of the cake into his mouth in a big bite. koala doesn’t comment.

he walks off a few paces, spins around on his heel, and comes back to tap koala on the shoulder. “uh, where do i work again?”

her brows raise to her hairline.

-

sabo wakes slowly.

he’s balanced on the edge of the bed, curled up like he doesn’t know there’s supposed to be a drop. it’s jarring, and as soon as his phone begins to vibrate, his body jerks and he’s on the floor, crashed in a heap with the comforter curled around his legs.

with a moderate groan, he reaches up and silences his phone.

the door opens a moment later, as he’s rubbing his head. red hair is his only giveaway before shanks is fully in the room, peering down at him. “whoa there, kid. took a tumble, huh?”

“i’m good,” sabo mumbles, sitting up. he blinks, screwing his eyes to cast the sleep away. “had the strangest dream.”

“let’s talk about it over breakfast, kay?” he jerks a thumb over his head. “makino has it ready.”

makino is already gone, too, apparently, because it’s just him and shanks at the table. it only sits two anyway, so it’s not often all three of them eat together. still.

sabo squints, picking up his chopsticks and trying to recall. “i was some kid living out in a mountain village for a day. had an annoying little brother and everything.”

shanks hums, swallowing his bite of food. “sounds boring.”

sabo snorts. “great, thanks for your input.” he pauses again. “it just . . felt so real.”

later, sabo will go back to his room and pick apart his backpack, confusion on his face for every random item he pulls out. he pauses at one point, hand wrapped loosely around the spine of his sketchbook. definitely didn’t remember taking that out of his room. what did he even draw, he thinks, flipping through to the last filled page-

he stops. his hand trembles. the forgotten page flips over, and the front half of the book hangs limp in the air. he stares at the page.

‘who are you?’ is written there, in big, blocky letters, scratched over and over by a worn pen.

-

“are you gonna play with your hair again?” luffy asks, entirely unimpressed, as he pulls open the door to ace’s room, looking to his elder brother warily. ace blinks the remaining sleep from his eyes, sits up fully.

“what?”

luffy huffs. “nevermind.” he begins to slide the door shut. “at least you’re up today.”

ace frowns at the comment, then immediately turns to look out the window. the sun was barely peeking out over the edge of the crest, as usual when he woke. he sighs and stumbles to his feet, electing to ignore luffy’s comment. 

breakfast with garp is a quiet affair. he eyes ace warily, but doesn’t say anything out of the ordinary, more of the usual. ace has to pull luffy away from the table, again, per usual. he sighs as he closes the front door, wrapping his scarf tighter around his neck. luffy grumbles at his side, wiping rice from the corner of his mouth.

he takes luffy halfway to school, then watches as he runs down the path with zoro and nami, sprinting in a race to see who can reach the grounds first. ace continues up the slope by himself, and doesn’t stop until he’s sliding his classroom door open, tugging his scarf a little looser in the heated environment. 

he’s sitting his bag down on his desk when the door slams open, and he turns calmly while a few others jump, entirely expecting this kind of entrance. lami pinpoints him immediately and stalks up to him, kidd not far behind. ace stands at attention, turning to face her-

and makes a noise of protest as she grabs his cheeks, pulling his face closer to hers for easier inspection. 

it’s a few tense moments of silence before he frowns, features distorted. “can i help you?” he says, words muffled by the pull of his lips. lami’s frown mirrors his own, and she releases him.

“are you back to normal?” she says, hands on her hips. ace only turns to look at kidd behind her, silently asking for help. the edhead steps up with a muffled snort.

“you were . . weird, yesterday,” he admits. “your hair was a mess, you were all spaced out, you couldn’t remember where you sat-”

“you got all of crocus’ questions right!” lami snaps. “his insanely hard, out-of-thin-air pop questions! you got them all right. answered like it wasn’t even a challenge. like you knew the ins and outs of the material already.” she crosses her arms. “you better not upstage us all again today.”

ace blanches. “what? you’re lying. that’s impossible.” and his hair . . ? he reaches up, fingering the braided cord that held the black locks in a high ponytail. 

lami shakes her head. “no, i’m serious. you were weird yesterday.” she echoes kidd’s words and the redhead nods, confirming. 

“well, whatever,” he grumbles, turning away, a bit put-out. “i’m fine now. okay? let’s just forget about it.”

the door opens, and in ambles crocus, old hips still in desperate need of replacement. he takes a stand behind the podium and pauses as he finds ace. “hm. portgas.”

ace lifts his chin, eyes narrowing. after a few tense moments, their teacher turns away, looking back down to his papers. everyone finds their seats after that. 

-

‘who are you?’ echoes over and over in sabo’s mind, as much as he can allow it. school is vicious today, the teachers going hard and not leaving anyone a moment’s rest. it’s not until everything is done for the day that sabo can break away, and that’s when koala approaches him, a wary look marring her gaze.

“what’s up with being late yesterday?” her eyes narrow as she comes to a full stop right in front of him. “y’know, if you were gonna show up halfway through the day, why’d you even come at all?”

“late?” sabo blinks. as he could recall, he was here a half hour early, like today, like always. 

“yeah.” she huffs. “you were late to work, too. listen, are you feeling better, at least?”

sabo’s hairs begin to stand. “yesterday,” he says, very slowly, “i didn’t have a shift.” 

“what?” koala’s eyes begin to ignite. “then you just ditched me? what the hell, sabo!”

“what are you on?” sabo snaps back, trying to make sense of it all. “we were together all afternoon. we split crepes! remember?”

koala’s mouth opens, but she remains silent. her brows scrunch, and the fire dies out. “that was monday,” she recalls. 

sabo shrugs, still off-put. “yeah?”

“sabo, it’s wednesday.”

he blinks. blinks again. “no-” he begins, but before he can finish, koala’s whipped her phone out and is showing him the date.

he stands very still. a shiver runs through his body.

“why . . can’t i remember?” 

-

lami and kidd wrangle him away for the afternoon, walking while the bite of the cold wasn’t too bad. unluckily for him, the path they take leads into a head-on collision with one of dragons’ rallies. ace can hear his speech before he sees the crowd, and then he’s hissing to himself in panic, ducking down behind kidd’s lanky form. the redhead scoffs, but doesn’t move.

“i guess it is election time,” lami notes, gaze wandering over. 

“wonder why he bothers,” kidd says. “he’s bound to get reelected anyway.”

ace frowns, eyes still facing the ground. he doesn’t want to hear dragon, or see him, but most importantly, he doesn’t want dragon to see him.

a pause in the speech reaches his ears. lami moves closer to the pair. “hey, heads up-” she begins to mutter.

“ace!” dragon calls, and he closes his eyes, jerking to a stop. slowly, his eyes move until he meets his father’s over the heads of the crowd. he doesn’t look very pleased. “straighten out already!” he calls.

ace forces out an exhale and moves out from behind kidd, standing taller. he turns his gaze back to the road and starts moving, quicker this time. he feels dragon’s eyes on him all the while, but what’s more, the eyes of the crowd as they turn to face him, as they turn to witness the town mayor mocking his eldest yet again-

“don’t let him bother you,” lami says, once they’re out of earshot. she turns to kidd, giving him a pointed look. “hey, let’s go to your mom’s shop?”

“diner,” kidd corrects. he frowns, knowing more than anything that it wasn’t a question. but, well, it was still too early for dad to be home. “sure,’ he sighs, giving in. immediately, ace perks up at the prospect of food.

“sacha!” lami calls, just as they burst through the doors. an older woman comes out from the back room, wiping her hands with a towel. her gaze brightens as it lands on the three.

“oh! come in, come in.” she puts her hands on her hips as they all pile into a table. “so, how was school?”

“horrible!” ace groans. “crocus kept asking me all these questions i couldn’t answer. and only me!”

from beside him, kidd snickers. lami pokes ace with her elbow. “it’s because you were a smartass yesterday.”

ace huffs, slumping to the tabletop. “sacha, they’re being mean to me!” he whines. “please, the only thing that can help is food! please feed me!”

sacha rolls her eyes at the act. “sure. whatever you say.” she winks to the other two, already turning towards the back. “i’ll bring some stuff right out.”

“thanks, mom!” kidd calls. lami echoes his words, and then they’re both turning to ace, who’s still slumped against the table.

“hey,” lami says suddenly. “fuck dragon. don’t think about it.”

ace hums, head still buried in his arms.

if only.

-

sabo has the dream again.

he sets upright, and everything is at a lower angle, and pieces of stiff, black hair fall in front of his eyes. he hums, thinks nothing of it. okay. so it was a do-over dream. maybe he could do better this time.

luffy opens his door with a short bang some time later, and pauses for a moment to eye him with trepidation. sabo cocks his head to face him, but otherwise continues bouncing his newly-acquired black locks. he couldn’t help it -he’d never had hair this long. 

“breakfast!” luffy snaps. he closes the door with the same amount of force he’d opened it with, and it hits the frame harshly. sabo’s hand drops from his hair, finally.

breakfast is, unfortunately, not a quiet affair. sabo has to fight over rice, fish, soup -everything, really- until it’s all properly dished out. a little radio in the corner of the room blares out about town hall news, and sabo cocks his head to it as he nibbles on some meat, swiping his chopsticks out to keep Luffy from his rice.

“also, in regards to the upcoming mayoral election-”

garp has already stood up by this point, and pulls the plug on the old machine before the announcer could continue. he comes back to the table in the newly quiet atmosphere, and luffy sets down elbows up on the glass top, sighing.

“you really should make up with him already,” he grumbles. “both of you,” he adds, turning that glare to sabo. sabo only blinks, not knowing the context of the words, and chooses to resume eating in quiet rather than respond.

“it’s an adult problem, kid,” garp grunts, setting down his empty bowl. “go on, now. get ready for school.”

luffy lets out a long-lastings sigh as he throws himself to his feet. “right,” he says, letting the word drag out, and drags himself from the room. sabo sets down his rice bowl after his last bite, nodding to garp.

“thanks for the food,” he mumbles, standing as well. garp grunts, but grabs for sabo before he can pass by completely. sabo pauses, looking over his shoulder.

“don’t forget, the ceremony is in a few days.”

that’s all he says, then he releases sabo. he doesn’t know the context, again, so he just nods and hurries up the stairs back to ace’s room.

the red band isn’t around his wrist this time, and it takes a bit of digging around, but he does find it in a spare drawer. he takes a brush through the thick locks, then binds it into a low ponytail at the base of his neck. if a knot wasn’t right last time, maybe this was. he uses the band in place of an elastic, pulling it tight, and nods once he’s satisfied.

luffy is waiting for him downstairs. he bounces on his feet, using both hands and a loud voice to say bye to their grandpa. sabo just nods, and garp nods back, letting them go. 

lami and kidd run into him before the pathway splits, and luffy looks on in indifference until lami has him on her shoulders, and then he’s squealing with delight or annoyance -sabo can’t tell. it only takes a moment for her to set him on the handlebars of kidd’s bike, and the redhead breaks out into a jog, balancing luffy, who does enjoy this one -evident by him throwing his arms over his head and shouting in joy. lami loops sabo’s arm through her own and they follow at their own pace. when the pathway splits, they help luffy down and he waves them off, continuing towards his own school.

sabo finds his seat by the window, but once class starts, he can’t focus. it’s all stuff he’s learned already, so he spends time instead jotting stuff down in a blank page of the notebook. ace’s family was two people. his brother, luffy, and his grandfather. there’s a third person him and ace share in conflict with. he has two close friends, lami and kidd. kidd is the son of a electrical contractor -the guy who controlled all power out here in the town. which, technically speaking, seemed to be out in the middle of nowhere. the high school sat over the ridge, and it was all sabo could see for miles around -that was, nothing but rolling hills. 

“portgas,” a voice says gruffly, enough to grate sabo’s ears, and he looks up to find the entire class staring at him. his brows furrow, until he meet the teacher’s gaze, locked on him. sabo swallows, setting down his pen. 

“yes?”

crocus lets out an overdue sigh. “nice of you to finally respond. define ‘twilight’ for me.”

sabo blinks, then stands in one clean motion, nodding. “it’s . . a time between night and day,” he finally settles on, unsure of what the man was looking for. he’d gotten all the questions right last time, but they only served to annoy him. and also bring on more questions. sabo wasn’t exactly sure how to respond here to get it right this time.

crocus grins, and sabo feels a little nervousness run about. “not quite what i was looking for.” he gestures with his hand, and sabo sits down, confusion growing.

“‘twilight’ is neither day nor night. it’s a time when the two become blurred. where all the funny stuff happens. afterlight, in other words. right before dusk.”

“what about half-light?” kidd pipes up, hand slightly raised. crocus allows the outburst, humming.

“that’s more local dialect, but, yes.”

sabo lets down his guard again, and goes back to doodling, scribbling notes in the columns. 

he finds the diary after school.

it’s a small pocketbook, easily overlooked. call sabo curious, though, for upturning the room. ace is organized, and his small script is neat. reading through the entries doesn’t help, though. sabo sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. guess he had to do this on his own. well, for a do-over dream, he thinks he did rather well. if it happened again, maybe he’d get to finish learning what he only discovered this time around.

he’s settling down on the futon when a stray thought comes to mind. the words ‘who are you?’ scribbled in his sketchbook hit him out of nowhere, and sabo stands on the thin matress, gaze falling to the desk in the corner.

after a moment, he walks over, feet carrying him and hand reaching out for a small marker. he hesitates for a moment, then presses the ink to his skin, writing his name carefully.

-

sabo jerks awake, head fuzzy. shanks opens his door at the same time, and the blond has a conniption, about doing a front-somersault off the mattress. he lands on the ground in a heap, groaning.

“relax, kid,” shanks says. “it’s just me.”

sabo’s leg twitches. he lies there for a moment, only vaguely thinking about going back to sleep.

“ . . you okay?”

his phone starts ringing and sabo forces himself up to silence it. “fine,” he mutters, waving shanks off. with a shrug, the redhead leaves, closing the door behind him.

sabo’s gaze is fixed to his arm, now that he’s stopped waving it. his brow furrows, and he grasps his right with his left hand, bringing it closer. he squints.

there’s writing scribbled onto the skin. ‘sabo?’ it reads. ‘who are you? what are you?’

it was a dream.

right?

makino frowns at him as he enters the kitchen. “don’t cause trouble today,” she says quietly. sabo blinks, eyes widening and heart racing.

“what? what did i do?” he stammers. she only looks at him again, sighs quietly, and exits the room. down the hall, the front door closes.

“what did i do?” sabo asks koala, who frowns upon spotting him in the hall before class was due to start. 

“you got home too late, is my guess,” she muses. “makino called me, y’know. wondering where you were.”

sabo blanches. “did i have a shift?”

“ i think so?” she squints. “you headed off in a hurry. saw something, i guess. are you okay?”

he waves her off. “fine, fine.”

she looks at him for another moment before shoving the door open. “right.”

sabo goes straight home before his shift at the restaurant. on impulse, he flips to the back spread of his sketchbook, where the last note was. his eyes widen.

“i can’t believe i got to stop a real-life goa robbery attempt last night,” he reads. “sorry, i may have gotten scuffed up?” sabo takes a step back, and the sketchbook falls from his hands. it’s loud when it hits the floor. “what the fuck?” he breathes.

he pads over to the mirror, but there’s no marks on his face. without any airs, he strips of his shirt, twisting this way and that. ah. there, on his left side, was a small patch of bruising. luckily for him, it was on his burns, where all the skin was nerve-dead. he couldn’t feel a thing.

suddenly feeling lightheaded, sabo falls to his knees. his right hand comes up to trace the bruising.

“oh, sabo!”

he turns on his heel, empty plates balanced in outstretched hands. robin walks over the last few steps. “yes?”

“thanks for the other night.” she nods. “and for making sure i got home safe. that was really nice of you.”

the pieces connect, rapid-fire, and he works hard to only nod back. “no problem,” he murmurs, then ducks quickly through the door to the back. so, robin was the one almost mugged. she must live pretty far, for him to take her and be back late enough to cause makino to worry.  . . . that would also explain the weird looks he received from his other co-workers when he arrived. 

sabo sighs, taking a moment to pull his arms on top of his head, open his airway. then he’s poked in the back with a ladle, and his eyes open back up. moment over. he turns to see thatch eyeing him, a lazy grin on his face.

“what’s got you worked up?” he asks. before sabo can even think about not replying to his cheshire grin, zeff is yelling for him from across the kitchen. he moves quickly, picking up dessert trays and swinging out of the room once more.

he gets a text from shanks that has him calling as soon as he’s clocked out, pressing his phone between his shoulder and chin. it takes one ring for the redhead to pick up. “yes?”

“sabo! come straight home today, okay?”

“yeah, got it.” he sighs. “sorry . . about yesterday.”

“nah, don’t worry about it.” shanks pauses, and sabo can picture him physically waving the words off. “i know you didn’t mean harm. still, makino’s a little worried, so do her this favor.”

“got it. see you soon.”

sabo pockets his phone and pulls out his metro card in place of it, stepping fully into the train station. his head is spinning. 

it was a dream, right?

-

ace finds the diary, and it makes him sad before it gives him answers.

so i don’t forget again.

he’s found three, similar, pressed into the back of a crammed bookshelf. all of them have the same title. he finds his fingertips pressing into the burn scar around his eye. was it to do with this? was it all part of the same thing?

the last entries of the diary confirm his worries. sabo wasn’t aware of what was going on. he was slowly realizing it, but slowly was bad for ace, who knew from the first event what was happening.

i’m not dead. we’re switching bodies.

he was switching bodies with sabo triste, a boy his age living out in goa with his two guardians, makino and shanks. ace goes to sleep, and wakes up as sabo; he’d spent more time as the blond this week than he had himself.

‘stop writing in my sketchbook!!!’ is written right under his script on the same page, and ace traces the words carefully. he takes a pen and writes, right underneath, ‘surely one page is okay.’

he hesitates, then he writes, out to the side - ‘it’s not a dream.’

it can’t be a dream anymore.

[enigmatist17]

Hard Truths (Spiderman Noir and Spider-Family)(1)

As you can tell by now, Noir is my fav and I always torture my favs :’)

Yet, being in the world he is, Noir probably had seen/has seen some terrible stuff, it being the 30′s and all. 

Spider-Fam needs to give this guy a hug or 6.

Traveling to the universe belonging to Peter Benjamin Parker, or Noir as the ones he called the Spider-Family named him, was always disorienting. The black and white world was hard to traverse, even harder when they had to hide their bright color.

“I hope he’s alright.” Peni Parker sighed after a few hours had passed. The Spider-Family had traveled to the world after not having heard from Noir for over a week.

“Hey, Noir can always handle himself.” Peter B. assured her, swinging alongside the large mech as they followed the coordinates from Noir’s wristband. She only let out a sigh, her worry evident as they finally narrowed in on an unassuming brick building. Thankfully the streets were empty, Gwen swinging down to read the lists of plaques, eyes landing on the one declaring Private Eye.

“Fourth floor.” She murmured into her communicator, the group easily and quickly making their way to the said floor. Most of the office spaces sat empty, which seemed for the best as bullet holes could be seen all over various walls, leading up to an office at the end of the hallway.

SPIDERMAN, PRIVATE EYE

With a look, Gwen reached for the handle, only for the door to open without effort.

“Doesn’t look forced.” She muttered, Peter beside her frowning as the four entered the office cautiously. The stench of vomit hit them first, Peni recoiling while Miles coughed. Peter just steeled himself, Porker on his shoulder seeming nonplussed by the smell.

“Spread out and search.” Peter shook his head, heading with Porker to a room to the right. Peni followed Gwen and Miles to the left, the various rooms they came across in states of disarray.

“Found him!” Peter called out from his side, the younger spiders quickly hurrying to his side. Noir was passed out cold in a bathtub that had seen better days, some leftover vomit surrounding the drain. The man was shaking, his face almost snow white when Porker pulled off the rest of his mask, cheeks a dark grey from fever undoubtedly.

“Shit, we need to get him out of here.” Peter cursed, Porker moving over to SP//DR and Peter B. could lift the unconscious detective up and out of the tub. “Someone get a portal open.” Gwen had a portal up and running in seconds, Miles fretting beside her as Noir was carried through quickly. Aunt May’s home was mere feet away, Porker bounding up to the door and knocking quickly.

“Yes yes, give me a moment, I’ll be right...oh my god what happened?” May’s jaw went slack, not expecting to see a very pale and unconscious Noir being carried by Peni and Peter. B. She ushered them inside quickly, not even flinching when Noir seemed to come to, only to vomit heavily all over the front entryway.

“Oh that is nasty.” Porker groaned, Noir letting out a dazed noise as he weakly forced his eyes open.

“No no sweetheart, don’t force yourself.” May soothed, running a hand through Noir’s black hair. This seemed to satisfy the man, grey eyes sliding shut as he was taken to be showered. He showed signs of malnutrition and dehydration, cheeks still flushed after he was dried off and dressed in some spare clothes.

“I can get my mom to help us out.” Miles offered, May nodding as she could only treat so much. The youngest Spiderman was gone out of the window in moments, Gwen accompanying him as May tried to get Noir to drink something.

“Come on dear, it will help you I promise.” She murmured, watching as it seemed to take all of Noir’s strength to open his mouth. “There you are.” He only took a few sips before closing his mouth, mumbling something before falling back asleep. Miles’ mother, having grown accustomed to seeing the other Spiders’, went about treating Noir immediately, her gloves making the man shiver at each touch. An IV was hooked up, giving him some fluids while she checked the rest of his vitals.

“I cannot say for sure, but he seems to have pneumonia or at least the tail end of it.” She shook her head, the others looking at each other worriedly. “You may want to go and see if you have been infected.”

“Later, will he be alright?” Gwen asked, crossing her arms. “I’ve never seen him so...weak.”

“He will live, but he cannot return to his...home until he is fully healed. I will see about getting him a vaccine, as he is very lucky he did not die.” She explained, her gaze softening at the looks of guilt she could see pass their faces. “You couldn’t have known..”

“We went a whole week without checking in on him.” Porker frowned, which was uncharacteristic for the cartoonish pig.

“You still couldn’t have known.” The doctor repeated, awkwardly yet gently placing her hand on his head. Porker sighed but knew she was right, the doctor leaving after an hour with a promise to return.

Why wasn’t he dead?

Peter Benjamin knew death was on his doorstep when he woke up sick a week ago. Pneumonia, it had been going around and he had tried to stay clear of it. Yet, despite his efforts, he failed. In two days he was sluggish, barely able to fight battles and save those who needed it. In four he was unable to get out of the office without stumbling, barely able to breathe and see straight. By six he was unconscious, knowing he was going to die in his bathroom alone. Die in a monochrome world without those he considered family. He wanted to reach them, he really did, but his wristband had taken some damage and stopped working. So he dreamed of colors, of lively worlds with his lively family, knowing he would die eventually.

He did not expect to wake up in a soft bed, the sun shining into a room that was covered in soft yellows.

Ah, Aunt May’s house.

Something beeped beside him, Noir squinting as he saw some sort of strange device attached to a tube in his arm. His first instinct was to rip it out, but Noir found his arms weighed a ton each. Admitting defeat he fell back onto his pillow, wondering what had happened.

“Noir? Are you awake?” The soft voice roused Noir, who didn’t even realize his eyes had closed. Peni was by his side by the time he opened his eyes, big eyes shining with worry and hope.

“M here…” He slurred weakly, feeling her take his hand and give it a squeeze. Ah, she was just too innocent.

“I thought you were never going to wake up.” She gushed, some tears gathering at the edge of her eyes. “Why didn’t you call us?”

“Tried...didn’ want ta...go alone…” He muttered, wanting nothing more in the world than to comfort her. Peni frowned, using her free hand to retrieve his wristband. It only took a look to see that it was indeed broken, the girl letting out a choked sound.

“Oh my gosh, you could have…” Peter wasn’t expecting the crushing hug, letting out a weak cough as he felt some tears staining his shirt. “I’m so so sorry!”

“Not..yer fault…” He sighed, forcing his arms to loosely drape around the girl. “Just…got sick is...is all.”

“You were really sick!” She insisted, carefully sitting up to give him some space to breathe. “We should have been there for you!”

“You are now...sweet thing.” He smiled softly, a genuine smile despite the pain he was still in. Peni couldn’t help but return the gesture, knowing Peter almost never smiled. It was much easier for Noir to drift off a few minutes later, Peni now securely tucked into his side as he rested. It appeared to have been some time when he woke next, the room dark save for the lamp in the far corner. Peter Porker, mainly referred to by Ham, was reading an oversized book. He seemed to sense Peter had awoken, lowering the book with a wave.

“Hey pal, how ya feeling?” The pig watched as Noir took a look around, slowly sitting upright.

“Better.” He sighed, voice still raspy. A weight on his side revealed Peni, the Japenese girl fast asleep while hugging his left arm close to her.

“Kid has barely left your side.” Ham shook his head, a small smile on his face. Ham and Noir had come to a sort of understanding. While technically Noir was the most out of reach when it came to anything more advanced than the thirties, Ham’s world was a mix of both the past and the future. The old-timey comedy never failed to get a faint grin or soft chuckle from Noir. In return, Noir taught Ham when it was time to joke, and when it was time to hold back and remain silent. Not once did either think they would make friends of each other, yet now it was hard to imagine.

“A heart like that is what you see on a sunrise, nothing more.” Noir gently tucked some hair from the sleeping girls face, Ham tilting his head in confusion.

“What the heck does that mean?”

“Nothing...it means nothing.” The detective shook his head, his friend just giving him a look.

“You gotta lighten up, we’re all here for ya.” Peter coughed slightly, reaching for the glasses on his bedside table. The room coming into sharp focus made him wince at first, Ham taking the opportunity to move closer to the sick man.  

“I know you are, yet…” His shoulders slumped, gaze cast solely on Peni. “I can’t get attached, the city has no soul for man nor child.”

“Come on bud, Peni is a tough fighter.”

“She is still a child...I have had too many children die in my arms.” Ham felt his blood run cold, Noir’s voice flat and emotionless. “I am afraid that everytime you all visit my home, she may not leave it. Or Miles. Or Gwen.”

“Jesus, how long have you been keeping this to yourself?” Ham blinked, realizing very quickly this was entering territory he had no clue how to handle.

“That’s why my wristband broke...I broke it.” Peter didn’t realize how much the simple confession would make him feel, though that was replaced with guilt. He felt the familiar weight of Ham on his leg, the one he called friend giving him a pitying look.

“Bud...you have to tell us this stuff.” Porker pat Peter’s exposed hand like it was made of glass. “Did you get sick on purpose?”

“No, I tried my best not to.” He shook his head. “If I’m leaving this world, it’ll be with the moon screaming and the gunfire blazing.”

“Right...still, this isn’t healthy.”

“I suppose not,” Peter replied simply. “Then again, I’ve never had someone else to show me there are other ways, not until…”

“We met.” Noir nodded, Peni muttering something as she shifted in her sleep. The adoration and love for a child he barely knew, yet knew her more than anyone else, was plain to see in those grey eyes.

“Get some sleep Peter, we’ll have a lot to talk about.” Ham gently urged, surprised at how easily Peter complied with him. ‘Trust me, she is in the safest place in any multiverse.”

“That I wouldn’t doubt.” Peter nodded, letting out a short chuckle as he lay back down. His heavy eyelids closed, and soon he was fast asleep, gently drawing Peni close.

“Aw jeeze Peter…” Ham shook his head, turning the lamp off before leaving the room. It was going to be a very long couple of weeks...

[metaphoricallyroger]

With Love, From Me to You - i of iv [R.T.]

Summary: One-hundred ways to say ‘I love you’ over twenty-seven years.

Words: 2,891

Warnings: Language.

Note: This follows both Bohemian Rhapsody’s and real-life events (generally for dates, minor plot etc.), picture whichever Roger you fancy! The title is taken from ‘From Me To You’ by The Beatles.

--

1. (1964):

“I like your laugh.”

It’s funny to you, that after such a simple sentence on Roger’s behalf you become fast and close friends almost instantly.

--

2. (1964):

It’s the first time you’re allowed to go to a dance and even then, it was on the stipulation that Roger goes with you. It took a lot of arm-twisting from the stubborn teenager, but he eventually agreed. Only after you promised to go to some rock concert with him.

“Why are you smiling at me like that?”

“You look nice, that’s all.” Roger thinks you look just as good when you’re wearing your school uniform, but he knows tonight is an important night for you.

“Sweet talker,” you laugh.

Your eyes glimmer with the compliment and you feel your cheeks warm as he leads you out of your house.

--

3. (1964):

“We’ll be best friends for life, right?” It’s an odd time to ask, at a party for someone in your school class, but you’re both bored out of your minds, and it seemed as good a time as any to ask.

“Forever,” Roger swears. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

--

4. (1965):

Typically, your house phone didn’t ring in the early hours of a school day.

“Want to go for a walk?”

“What? Roger?” Your eyes still half closed, you struggle to work out who’s calling so late.

“Shit, sorry,” he sighs, “did I wake you?”

“It’s okay, I couldn’t sleep anyway.” You both recognise the lie, but don’t acknowledge it as you plan where to meet.

--

5. (1965):

You sit in the driver’s seat of Roger’s father’s car, while he sits in the passenger seat, attempting to teach you to drive. Why his father had allowed you to take his car into the paddock next to their house unsupervised is beyond you.

“I’m going to stall, Roger,” you fret.

“Yeah, so? If you do, just try again, you’ll get the hang of it.”

“What if we crash?” Although you are in a very flat, cleared paddock, with you at the wheel for the first time, anything could go wrong.

“It’s going to be fine. Don’t worry.”

“Okay,” you breathe out and turn the key in the ignition.

--

6. (1965):

“Y/N!” You turn your head in the busy classroom to see Roger gesturing wildly where he’s sat, books spread across two desks.

“I saved you a seat,” he pulls out the one next to him and you give him a grateful sigh.

--

7. (1966):

You and Roger are currently en route to a The Who concert in Watford, four hours away from Cornwall.

He has been driving the majority of the time and you were surprised that he hadn’t pulled over the first time he yawned. Roger offered to drive first and you agreed, making sure he promised to pull over if he’s tired.

“Are you going to finally admit that it is time for me to drive?”

“I’m not tired, Y/N.”

“I think you are, considering one of your eyes is shut.” You watch as he wrenches a tired eye open and you smile softly, placing your hand on his shoulder.

“I’m really not that sleepy.” He punctuates his sentence with a bold yawn.

“Pull over. Let me drive for a while.”

“Yeah, alright.” He pulls off the side of the road and jogs to your side of the car, opening the door for you.

You clamber out and switch seats and adjust yours to sit closer to the steering wheel and put the car back into gear.

“See, now you can have a-” The boy next to you has fallen asleep, hair blowing out with each deep exhale, making you smile softly.

--

8. (1966):

You’ve never had your heart broken, but your first boyfriend has broken up with you and you aren’t heartbroken, you’re angry. From the way you’ve been influenced by your female friends, you thought you would’ve been crying all the time. But you’re too busy trying not to kick a hole in the wall.

“Who does that twat think he is? Running around like he’s the Lord’s gift to ladies. I can’t believe I ever slept with him.”

Roger doesn’t want to say he feels happy about this (because this is you who’s been broken up with), but your boyfriend was an absolute twat in his eyes, and he’s happy you’re rid of him. He’s also happy that you aren’t sad about it, but that’s beside the point.

“Want to go egg his car?” He suggests with eyebrows raised.

“You read my mind.”

--

9. (1966):

“What are you doing?” Finding Roger in your house wasn’t rare, but finding Roger in your house holding a bunch of flowers and your coat was.

“I am taking you out to show you how a real date should be done. Not what that tosser was trying to pass off one as.”

“You really don’t have to do this to make me feel better. The eggs worked, truly.” You nod along with your thoughts, trying to persuade Roger out of his latest idea.

“I know. But I want to. Now, go and get your shoes on, we’ll be late otherwise.”

Knowing better than to argue, you do as he says and allow him to lead you to his car.

--

10. (1967):

“I got in!” You run into Roger’s arms excitedly and he catches you and spins you around, laughing.

“So did I!”

“I’m so proud of you,” you pull back to look at his sparkling eyes.

“You’re proud of me? I’m proud of you!”

You’re both overjoyed and hug again, even tighter than before.

“Don’t know how’d I’d survive uni without you nearby.” He finally places you back on your feet and you both exchange letters, looking at the separate places you’ll be attending university in London.

--

11. (1967):

You have never been this drunk before. In fact, if you could think straight, you’re sure in your life you have never been drunk.

It’s your eighteenth birthday and to say you weren’t well on your way to seeing three of everything was an understatement. Your fingers feel numb and one side of your body has become a dead weight, too tired to pull yourself up you begin to slip off the stool.

“I’ll walk you home,” Roger grasps your elbow.

“Um,” you pause and wiggle your feet, “I can’t remember how to walk.”

Roger restrains a grin at your expense and squats, gesturing for you to climb on his back.

“If you throw up in my hair, we’re going to have words.”

Roger makes it back to your dorm hall with minimal accidents and pulls open the door thanks to the key he blindly fished from your back pocket.

“You’re going to get in trouble if my RA finds you in my dorm. Ooh,” you hiccup, “I can tell everyone I’ve had the Roger Taylor in my room.”

“You’re oddly coherent in talking for someone who’s drunk their weight in pints and scotch.”

“I give good mouth,” you smack your lips together as if trying to prove your point.

“Ah, there’s the drunk in you.”

--

12. ( Same night - 1967):

“Mmhm, no, stay.” You drowsily reach out and weakly grip the hand resting on your forehead.

“Do you mind if I do? Just to make sure you’re alright in the mornin’?”

“Okay,” you grin and sigh contentedly, allowing Roger to place pillows along your back where you lie on your side.

“I’m going to get you some water and paracetamol, don’t go anywhere without me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Your grip releases from his hand and he places it under your chin gently.

--

13. (1967):

The train station is busy, people are getting jostled on all sides by rushing travellers like dominos fall one after the other. Despite the frigid temperatures of the outside world, the number of people underground have made the heat swell.

“You call me once you get back to Cornwall, okay? Tell me how everyone is?” You tuck Roger’s scarf into his fur coat and he rolls his eyes playfully at your care.

“I will. Have a good holiday.” You both hug each other and the pair of you savour it, knowing this will be the last until school starts again.  

--

14. (1968):

You haven’t seen Roger since before the winter holidays in which you both travelled to your respective sides of England. You did want to go back to Cornwall with him but it was agreed upon (without your knowledge), that this year's holidays would be a family reunion in God-knows-where, Kent.

Having become fast friends after meeting at your orientation day of sixth form, you both knew that your friendship would be able to survive not seeing each other over the uni break. You both agree over the phone on your first night of holidays that a train ride from Kent to Cornwall and vice versa would be too much travel and not enough visiting.

“It was mine as a child.”

“You’re giving me a used, toy lion?”

“Look,” you sigh, “if you don’t want it-”

“No,” he cuts you off, “just wonderin’ why you would give me something important to you.”

“It reminded me of you.” You gesture towards his growing shaggy hair, not dissimilar to your old lion’s mane.

Roger grips the little lion’s paw and brings it under his chin, and doesn’t let it out of his sight.

--

15. (1968):

“You ready for today?”

“Think so,” he passes the cigarette you’re sharing back to you.

“Just wish I’d ignored my mum and brought my kit with me,” he continues, exhaling smoke.

“What’re they called again?”

“Smile.”

“That suits a dental student,” you quip and turn to face him.

“But don’t worry,” you place a hand on his shoulder, “they’ll see how good you are, even if you are auditioning on bongos.”

“Shit,” he pauses, “I’ll be late if I don’t go now.”

“Good luck!” You call and stub the cigarette out on the side of the dorm building before disappearing back inside.

--

16. (1968):

“I cannot believe you just opened for Pink Floyd.” You nudge Roger on the shoulder playfully.

“Neither can I.” He has this far-off look in his eyes, that can’t quite focus on anything except for the poster of the headliner as if he’s still trying to convince himself this moment actually happened.

“Well, tell me more about it! What was it like up on stage?”

There’s something wonderful about the look in Roger’s eyes that he gets when he’s talking about music, it almost paints a picture with the movement of his hands.

--

17. (1969):

You and Roger are the only two left from your group still studying and you haven’t had any time to go and get refreshments. Yearly exams for your universities were hurrying around the corner and you’re stressed, Roger, on the other hand, seems to be coasting by despite hardly ever attending his own classes.

You thought he would’ve bailed hours ago when everyone else did, but he’s been studying vigorously and you’re honestly quite surprised.

“Here, eat.” A wrapped sandwich lands in your lap and you look up at Roger who’s also holding two bottles of water.

“No,” you refuse, pushing the sandwich back, “you need to eat too, though.”

“That’s okay, I bought two.” He draws the other out of his pocket and sits back down, eagerly tucking into his food quietly without alerting the librarian.

--

18. (1969):

“It’s way too late for you to get the Tube back, just stay here.” You, Roger, Brian and their new friend Freddie just got back from a party and while Brian and Freddie have both made their way back to their accommodations, Roger hasn’t.

“Your flatmate won’t mind?”

“She’ll be gone before we wake up,” you whisper, “some people have normal jobs.”

“How are we going to fit?”

“There’s enough room for both of us.” Enough room means practically sleeping on one another, which usually means Roger on your chest or stomach, with a leg wedged in between your own and the other wrapped over your body.

“Alright then,” that seems to elicit yawns from you. You both collapse on the bed and fall asleep on top of the covers, still clothed.

--

19. (1969):

You stare down at the dress in your hand and its price tag, before looking back up at Freddie and Roger, not quite believing they aren’t having a laugh. You knew that most of their items at the stall were vintage, but you didn’t assume they came from somewhere high-end.

“You ripping me off for a particular reason?”

“I can give it to you for free?” Roger sheepishly grins. You reach into your handbag for your purse and get out the required money.

“Absolutely not,” you state, “I’m paying full price.

--

20. (1970):

“Need help with that?” Roger comes to stand at the open doors of his van and watches you struggle to place the hardware of his drum kit gently on the concrete.

You, Roger, Brian and Tim were all setting up for Smile’s latest gig at the pub they frequent.

“It’s not that heavy. I’m stronger than I look.”

To prove your point, you pick up the bass drum with ease and walk away, a slight waddle to your step as it bumps into your side with every second stride. You hear Roger laugh behind you as he slams the doors of the van shut and the pleasant sound follows you through the back entrance to the stage.

--

21. (1970):

“‘Humpy Bong’. Who calls their band ‘Humpy Bong’?” Roger has been complaining about the name of a band more than the fact that their own lead singer just quit. Granted, the name sounds ridiculous to you, but the principle of the matter still stands.

“His loss, he’s the one joining a band about humping a bong.”

You try to change the conversation but Roger launches into another tirade.

“I think he’s right. That show was a load of bollocks.”

“Well, there was room for improvement, yeah,” Brian suggests, attempting to be the optimist.

“I’ve got better things to do with my Saturday nights. I could give you their names.” You and Brian exchange an eye roll as Roger smirks to himself.

“Don’t be vile,” he receives a playful tap on the arm, “besides, I think you’ll find a new singer.”

The men look at you and shrug.

--

22. (1970):

“I’m never eating meat again. Tell Brian I’m joining his club.” You complain as Roger finishes securing another band in your hair to make the mess more secure.

“Now you’re being dramatic, Y/N.”

“My stomach feels like it’s about to leave my body.” You relax against the cool tile wall and accept the glass of water he’s been cyclically passing you since this fiasco started.

“That’s generally what happens when you throw up every hour.”

“You should go to bed, leave me to die in peace,” you moan. It was embarrassing, to get sick at your friend’s house, but you and Roger have been through most things in life with each other, and that eases some of the pressure you’re feeling.

“Sorry, you’re my best friend. I’d stay up all night with you if I had to.”

The hand he rubs across your back is comforting as you hunch yourself forward over the toilet bowl once again.

--

23. (1970):

Roger almost jumps out of his skin as cold hands press against the flat of his stomach beneath his shirt.

“Y/N!”

“I’m cold!” You whine. The flat the Christmas party was held in is cold, you weren’t aware that the idea of this party was to actually emulate outdoor conditions inside and Roger was always warm, so why not use him like a hot water bottle?

“I’m not a heater!”

You lean over, slightly intoxicated, and whisper in his ear, “no, you’re way hotter.”

He grumbles under his breath and you laugh as you stumble away.

--

24. (1971):

“Oh, Roger,” your eyes bug out, “come here. Let me help.”

Roger is trying to wrestle with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol across his bloody knuckles and blistered palms, hissing everytime they pass over sensitive skin from drumming.

“Thanks, love.”

“You must really be in need of help if you’re calling me that,” you lilt and grab a fresh cotton ball.

You blanch as you study his hands.

“You’ve rubbed all the skin off!” He only nods. You gently wipe the blood away and wrap his fingers with band-aids, giving him a respite everytime he winces.

He flexes his fingers gingerly once you finish.

“Thanks again,” he repeats.

Your lips create a smacking noise as they make contact with the calluses on his palm.

--

25. (1971):

The three members of Queen and you stand around Roger’s van after another mediocre performance with their latest bass player, who once again, didn’t live up to the standards Roger, Brian and Freddie all have.

“That’s the millionth bass player we’ve been through since we became Queen!” Roger complains, flinging open the back doors of the van.  

“Bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

“Well I don’t see you offering any suggestions,” he glares at you.

“I might know of a bass player.”

“You do?” Brian pipes up, trying not to become too hopeful.

“I’m friends with his girlfriend. I’ll introduce you at the disco we’re going to later this week. His name’s John Deacon, by the way.”

“If this works out you’re brilliant, and the best friend anyone could ask for.” Roger presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

“Yeah, yeah,” you wave him off.

[katybeth23]

A/N

Part 3 ( cowboy take me away)

Jacks voices wavered as he was anxious to see Lisa

“It’s nice to meet you Jack, given the circumstances. If you could follow me to my office I’d like to discuss your wife’s condition before we go on up to see her”.

Dr Delon had a big smile and Jack felt more at ease as he followed the young doctor down the long corridor.

Once seated in his office the Dr proceeded to fill Jack in on Lisa’s accident and condition.

“This was a very serious accident Jack, your wife was only inches away from direct impact ~ she is lucky to be alive”.

His eyes had a kindness about them as he leant forward over his desk.

“We had to operate in order to stop

some internal bleeding, this took longer than expected. She has a fractured left wrist, some cuts and bruises and a mild concussion, but aside from that your Mrs Bartlett is a very lucky woman”.

He smiled as he saw the look of relief on Jacks face.

“We do want to keep her in for observation though Jack, and we would like to run some more tests over the next few days”, he paused to re read over his notes.

“She has been unwell on and off the entire trip according to her Aunt, so we just want to investigate more throughly if that’s ok with you both?”.

Lisa had told Jack about the stomach virus she had, but what she failed to mention was that it had been bothering her for the entire trip?

“Your wife was quite dehydrated when she arrived so we just want to rule out a few things such as; a serious intestinal virus, pregnancy, an infection of some sort”

Jack chuckled to himself

“Well doc I’m pretty sure it won’t be the second one; given Lisa’s age”. ( she was due to turn 50 in less than a month).

“But I appreciate the care you are giving her and am leaving it in your capable hands, so please do for whatever you need to”.

Dr Delon rose from his desk and gestured towards his door;

“This way Jack”.

He pointed towards the administration desk and down the hall.

“I know someone who is very egar to see you”.

Through all the worry he had felt these past 24 hours , the feeling of absolute relief when he laid eyes on Lisa had finally caught up with Jack.

As Dr Delon left them alone all Jack could do was breakdown and sob as he laid his head gently on Lisa’s lap.

Tears trickled down her cheeks as she ran her fingers through his thick grey hair.

Before now Lisa had been niaeve as to just how close she had come to never touching him again, hearing his voice, inhaling his scent. As she felt the rise and fall of his chest, Lisa knew in her heart that this would be the last overseas trip she would make.

Heartland was where she wanted to be; it was at home with Jack that Lisa was needed most. It was what SHE needed more than anything.

Slowly Jack lifted his head and looked into those piercing blue eyes he had missed so much.

“Oh Lise” his voice barely audible

“I have never been so frightened in my entire life as I was these past couple of days”.

Lisa’s soft hand touched his unshaven cheek

“I don’t know what I would have done if...”

“Shhhhhh ; I know, and I’m so sorry Jack”

Lisa too couldn’t contain her emotions any longer.

“I should never have gone away; and I promise you, I won’t ever be doing it again”.

She looked up at the ceiling, nose scrunched, trying her darndest not to breakdown.

“My place is at home with you; I’ve done what I needed to do and I’ve seen all I want to see”

she smiled lovingly at Jack as she wiped away a stray tear.

Soon they were both fast asleep, the last 24 hours ~ No in fact the last 8 weeks had exhausted the two of them past belief and in each other’s presence was the only place they could both truly rest.

The family were all relieved to hear Jacks voice as he relayed the news of Lisa’s condition and reassured them there was nothing to worry about and they would both be back home in no time.

He had woken about 2 hours after they had drifted off, Lisa continued to sleep peacefully. Jack watching her contently, only leaving her side to phone home.

When he returned to the room after calling Heartland he noticed Lisa’s bed was empty. A few moment later she exited her hospital bathroom. Jack noticed almost instantly the weight she had lost whilst she had been away, she smiled tiredly as she watched his eyes travel up down her body.

“You ok Lise” he asked softly

“The Doc said you have had the stomach upset almost the entire trip?”

Lisa noticed the concern in his voice.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He rubbed her back softly.

She sighed, knowing full well she should have told Jack just how unwell she had been feeling; but decide, for his sake to play it down a little.

“I know I should have told you, and I’m sorry”; tiredness still overwhelmed Lisa’s body.

“I didn’t want to worry you and really honey I’m fine, the doctor thinks it’s an intestinal bug { that are not uncommon whilst travelling } which they will run some more tests for, then treat it with some strong antibiotics”.

Lisa sat back on the bed as Jack helped her into a more comfortable position. He pulled a large hospital chair as close to the side of her bed as he could and within minutes Lisa had closed her eyes and had nuzzled her way into the crook of Jacks broad shoulder.

“It won’t be anything long term Jack”

her voice dropping off

“Just a bug that will clear up with some medication and a few changes in di”....

But before she could finish her sentence Lisa was fast asleep,snoring softly.

Jack chuckled quietly to himself as he recalled the numerous times Lisa had adamantly denied that she ever snored, getting quite ardent about it on a number of occasions when he brought it up.

His smile broadened because Jack didn’t mind, he was just happy to have her within arms reach, safely sleeping beside him again. Nothing could ever be better than this moment he thought to himself.

It was a little past 8 pm and visiting hours were due to finish up.

Jack felt awful at the thought of being seperated from Lisa again; he had assured the staff that he was more than happy to sleep in a chair just as long as he could be with her.

Although it wasn’t usually allowed, with the approval of Dr Delon the staff brought in another hospital bed which they pushed up beside Lisa’s so Jack could sleep next to her.

Lisa has become teary at the thought of Jack having to leave and was quite overcome with the hospitals kind gesture.

They lay together, side by side after almost 9 weeks apart and although Jack had always been adamant that his bed was he ONLY place he was comfortable, he had come to realise that it was actually NEXT to Lisa that he felt most rested.

She lay there in Jacks arms as he discussed with her Wills health scare, at times becoming emotional at the thought of how close he had come to losing his oldest friend; and Lisa just listened,Jack needed to let it all out. At times Lisa would run her fingers softly across Jacks chest, placing a small kiss on his hand that was placed tenderly over hers.

The time apart had clearly taken its toll on both of them.

The following day Lisa spent the morning going through all her tests Richard Delon had booked; these included bloods, urine, an MRI and ultrasound. It’s was a tiring process and he apologised profusely for the amount of poking and prodding that was being done.

He did however assure Lisa that these investigations would give him the answers he needed to treat her chronic upset stomach and then, most importantly she and Jack could return home.

“If it’s what I suspect Lisa”

Dr Delon had popped into Lisa’s room to check on her after her busy morning;

“Then you will possibly need 2-3 more days in hospital on IV antibiotics, and if that works the way I anticipate it will then by the weekend we can discharge you home with follow up oral medication”.

He beamed as he saw both their reactions to the mention of ‘Home’.

“I will stress to you though Lisa that this medication will need to be taken for up to 4 weeks with the possibility of 6 as I suspect it’s a nasty bug, and you will need to start slowly your foods, keeping clear of anything diary for at least a week or more”.

Jack rested his hand on Lisa’s lap.

“Thanks Doc, don’t you worry she’s in good hands”

He glanced across at Lisa and noticed she was watching him, eyes shining, lips slightly pursed they way they did when she was proud.

“Oh I have no doubt about that Jack”

was Dr Delon’s cheerful reply;

“Now if you’ll both excuse me I’ll go and chase up these results. I’ll be back shortly”

As he exited Lisa’s room he turned and gave them a smile.

As he had intended Dr Delon returned a few hours later with news on Lisa’s tests ; however neither he or his fellow colleagues had anticipated the results that came back.

As he entered Lisa’s room there was something slightly different about him Jack noticed.

He couldn’t put a finger on it and it didn’t necessarily concern him, but it bothered him all the same.

“How old are you Jack if you don’t mind me asking”

Richard Delon smiled at the older man as he made his request

“I’ll be 71, no sorry 72 in August”

Jack had to stop and think for a moment.

He laughed out loud.

“When you get to my age Doc, it’s sometimes hard to remember”

he winked at the much younger man sitting across from him.

[cute-nct]

Brian - YoungK/Kang Younghyun/Brian Kang

a/n: this is the longest imagine/one shot ive done  it’s also not proof-read yet

words: 2.6k

You sit at café table by yourself. You’ve been waiting for Younghyun for only a few minutes. He should be here soon. When you first began dating, you were not sure what to call him. “Younghyun” is his real name, “Brian” is his “Canadian name”, but “YoungK” is his stage name. You occasionally alternate the names you use depending who you talk to, but you chose to call him by his real name because it feels more personal.  

He got off his flight from Korea a while ago and should be coming anytime soon by taxi. You both met for the time you were studying abroad in Korea. You went to a restaurant by yourself one day, overestimating your knowledge on the Korean language, and found yourself fumbling and having trouble to talk to the waitress. Sadly, the waitress didn’t know English and was having trouble herself, but luckily Younghyun was there he was able to talk to her for you. You asked him to join you because he was by himself writing songs and you felt like you owed him for helping. There bonding over the fact the fact you guys knows what it feels like to live in a foreign country and you asked him if he’ll be able to show you more around Seoul and other close areas. When you asked him, his response was just staring at you smiling then he responded with a small “I’ll try.” Little did you know his “trying” meant 4 times a week you two were going out visiting all areas. You didn’t find about Day6 until 5 months of 12 month stay In Korea when you read his notebook over his shoulder on the way to Everland. You knew he played a stringed instrument because if the callouses on the pads of his fingers, but him being in a well known group from a very big company seemed unbelievable. When you first met him he was so shy, and you couldn’t imagine him being on stage. On the way back from Everland, you began to fall asleep on his shoulder on the train, but when you woke up, your face was in his chest and his sleepy body was embracing you. You woke him up and began talking to him but his mind seemed absent from your conversation. He interrupted you to show you a sample version of “Hi Hello” recorded with Jae and told you to pay attention to the words. After the song, he wanted feedback. You looked at him that day finally finding out his secret motive. All you were able to say was “hello.”

When it came time for you to leave Korea, you and Younghyun were dating for 6 months and decided long distance would work. Now 5 months later, he decided to stay with you in your hometown for a while to show him around. You and him were able to fly to each other random times for a week when you guys had the chance, but when he told you he’s having a break for a bit so he was going to visit you, you almost cried on the phone.  

Suddenly, you heard the sound of someone struggling at the café door with a bunch of luggage. You look up and see him attempting to fit his giant suitcase in the door. You walk up to him and help him bring in his luggage. He looks up to thank whoever helped him and realizes it was you. Younghyun immediately pulls you into the tightest hug you’ve ever received from him. Before you two enter a conversation, you move him to the table you were at so you weren’t in the way. You both stack his luggage aside the table and sit down across from each other at the table.  

Younghyun reaches for your hands and kisses your knuckles. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says while pressing his forehead to your hands.

“I’ve missed you too,” you state, lowering your head a bit so he could hear you. “Tired?”

“Yeah. Long flight.”

“Stay up a bit because I still can’t carry you,” you say while giggling, referencing the time when Jae and Dowoon, and Younghyun and you decided to have a piggy back race. Jae carried Dowoon, but you tried to carry Younghyun, your knees gave out and you both fell hard on the ground.  

He looks up, smiles, then kisses your hands. “I’ll wait till it’s night here than sleep. Am I still going to visit your parents with you?”

Your parents. That’s another story. They weren’t that accepting. When you came back from Korea, you waited a bit to tell them that you had a boyfriend there for almost 6 months. They seemed okay with the idea with you “being a young adult” and “having fun” while you were young, but when you told them that you were still dating him long distance, their faces changed. Your parents always wanted you to get serious with someone from your country or from the same racial background. They assumed that all men from Korea were weak, scrawny, and feminine. You tried to talk to them about Younghyun many times but they didn’t want to hear it. Once, you had a picture of you and him after a Day6 concert and your father couldn’t stop being mean about him wearing makeup. You couldn’t stand it and argued with him. You chose not to let Younghyun find out about your arguments with your parents about your relationship, but sadly he finally had to find out eventually.

“Um. Babe. You okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay…actually,.. I have to confess to you something,” you whisper, looking down, not knowing where to begin. You begin to look up and see the worry on Younghyun’s face confirming ther motive you had for not telling him. “My parents”, you sigh, “don’t want us together”.

His face changed from worry to upset. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” He let’s go of your hands and places them on his forehead.  

“Because I thought you would have left.”

There was a silence between you two. Younghyun was very insecure about your relationship. By now, MyDays knew about you two and were so supportive of you making him happy, although still being jealous. Majority were good to you and left you nice comments on your instagram and gave Younghyun gifts to give you too. Although every now and then you’ll get some nasty comments, but you chose not notice, but Younghyun would get very defensive. He would get angry but nicely address it with the fans and asked them to be nice to you, for the sake of him.

"I would never leave you, ever. No matter what. I love you, don’t you trust me?"  He caresses your face. He was upset.

"I'm just worried. They're so stuck in their ways. They want me with someone like them."

"I'll change their mind," he grins, "What do they know about me?"

"Well, they know...", your mind rambles around trying to remember what they cared to listen to.  His face changes again.

"They don’t know anything?" He asks.

"They didn’t want to hear it." He nods understandingly.  

"Do they know my name?"

"Yes."

"Which name did you use?" Younghyun knew that you always changed which name you used with him. He liked it. He loved that you used his real name, it was refreshing to him.

"Yours. Younghyun."

"Are you trying to make them hate me more?"

"What?"

"You should have told them Brian."

"Why?"

"Brian is easier. Younghyun is harder to say. Brian rolls off the tounge. Try it. Bri-yan. BRR-"

You laugh.  

"I'm being serious."

"We'll fix it tomorrow when we see them."  

"I'm kind of nervous now," he squeezes his hands feeling the clamminess. You grab his hand and smile.

"It’s okay. I'll still love you. Let's go home,"  

You stand up and take one of this luggage. He follows and does the same.  

You reach your apartment and leave his luggage at the door. Your back feels sore from carrying his backpack with a lot of things. You walked up to the table feeling the cold on your hands. You heard the door shut and hear his footsteps walk behind you. His hands move your hair to the side and he places his lips on your shoulder. His kisses move up your towards your neck and stay there. His mouth sucked and kissed at your sensitive skin. Your legs felt weak. There’s always long time between being intimate with him that every time touches you it feels like the first time. He turns you around and sits you on the table. His lips attack you roughly. Your arms stand you up behind you. He stands between your legs, his body leaning towards you. His hands run up and down your body, feeling every curve like he’s trying to remember for later. Hating the space that was between you, you pull him down by his neck. He breaks the kiss and laughs.

“Let’s just move to the couch."

"Yeah good idea," you respond breathy.  

He slides you off the table and bridal carries you to the couch. He sits on the couch, you still in his arms and you immediately fix yourselves so you are straddling him. His hands roam up and down you back eagerly. Hastily, you take the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head. Your hands find the body that he often covered up and massaged everywhere. You brought your lips to his neck and sucked at his skin like he did to you. You lowered your lips and started sucking on his collarbone, roughly, knowing you'll leave marks. You were making him excited and his actions showed it; he pulled your shirt off and laid you down on the couch. He climbed over you connecting your lips again. He surprises you by grinding his groin on yours. You gasp in reaction. He continues grinding into you torturously. He begins to kiss your chest but was interrupted by a knock on the door.  

You both groan. You look at each other quizzically.  

"Wait here, I'll get them to go. Then we can continue." He pecks your lips and walks to the door. You decide to stay down because he left you only in your bra and you're not trying to show anyone else but him your chest.  

He opens the door, cheerfully. "Sorry, but we're--" Younghyun began speaking before looking up. There stood your parents in disbelief, staring at Younghyun. He was still shirtless, the hickies on his collarbones forming, and his lips plump from kissing you. Your father was able to break his eyes from his bare body to look inside the room behind him. He noticed you peeking over the couch's armrest. He rolls his eyes and walks down the hall. "Sweetie, stop!" Your mom exclaimed from the doorway still, "while I get him...maybe you guys can...um get dressed." Younghyun nods frantically. As your mom walks away, he slowly closes the door.  

You stand up quickly. "Oh my god," you say while frantically putting on your shirt and throwing his at him. He was frozen with his hands on his head. "We were supposed it see them tomorrow."

"What do I say?" he says finally moving again, rushing to put his shirt on.

'Literally anything. They think you can’t speak English."

"Oh my god. I opened the door and didn’t say anything! Anything!" He begins to panic again. You guys hear the knock again and turn to each other.  

"Don't worry, take a deep breath," you whisper.

"Your parents saw us about to, you know! I can't not worry," he responded loudly whispering.  

You walk to the door, take another breath, then open the door. "Hi mom, dad."  

Your father enters without greeting you and sits straight down on a chair around the dining table. Your mom hugged you before sitting next to your father. Your mother was always the nicer parent. She at least tried to understand your feelings, unlike your father. You sit in one of the chairs across from them and motion for Younghyun to sit next to you. He slowly moves from his spot and sits down. Now both your parents and Younghyun and you were sitting across from each other. It was silent but it was a step forward.  

"Sorry for...eh interrupting," your mom finally spoke, "we were in the area. We thought might as well."

"We shouldn't have come," your father shamelessly said.

"No, this is good, really good," you take another breath, "this is Brian." You reached for his hand and give him a reassured smile.

"Wait, wait," your father interrupted, "is this another chink? Wasn't it another name?"

"I told you to stop using that word," you said sternly, "It's very offensive."

"What? What do you want me to call him? Gook? Is that better?" You stood up about to yell at your father for the hundredth time about being offensive but feel Younghyun's hand pull you down.

"If I can say something..."

"Wow, Brian, your English is very good," your mom exclaimed.

"Thank you. I studied in Canada for four years." Your mom nods smiling, while your dad begins to pay attention. "My birthname is Kang Younghyun, the name I used in Canada was Brian Kang, but in my band, they call me YoungK."

"Nice to meet you," your father says, making you smile, "it's nice to know you speak English," aannnd it's gone.

"You may call me Brian, if it's easier," he says smugly, gaining confidence out of nowhere. Your father scoffed.

"So do you only want to use my daughter for her body?"

"DAD."

"No. I love her."

"Oh, brother."

"It's true. I always thought she was beautiful, but after knowing her for long she became gorgeous."

Your father rolled his eyes again.

"Why do you think I'm lying. Do you know how many songs I wrote after her? I love her." He stands up, walks up to backpack, and pulls out his laptop and notebook.  

"Flip the pages." He tells your father as he begins to type into his laptop, pulling up the YouTube video for 'I Like You'. "Guess who this is about?" He turns the laptop to your father. "Oh, there's captions."  

You can tell your father angered him and vise-versa, but this was a better scenario than you imagined. Hearing him stand up to your father makes you happy, but you begin to learn that he wrote many songs for you, not just one. You grab his hand and he looks at you. You couldn’t help but to kiss him. You pull him to your lips from his neck. He is a little surprised from your confidence, but today was just surprising for everyone. You pull away and wait for your parents to finish watching.

"Well that was sweet. Your voice is really good Brain," your mother said after the video.

"I see," your father begins standing up, causing everyone else to. "We're leaving now."

"It was nice seeing you," you say as your parents begin to walk out.  

"Brian?" Your father calls out.

"Yes, sir?"

"You love her?"

"More than anything."

"Keep making her happy. No one has ever proved themselves to me like that. I respect that," your father reaches to Brian to shake his hand and he accepts. You feel like you can breathe for the first time. You hug your mom in happiness.  

"Thank you, sir. I've never been more terrified in my life." You walk behind him and hug Younghyun.  

Younghyun walked your father to the door. "We'll invite you to the Korean wedding," Younghyun said while smiling and shut the door. He turned around picked you and placed you on the table again. He moved himself so he was between your legs and you were holding onto his neck.

"Korean wedding?"

"It's tradition. I want to see you in hanbok."

"My family might want a white wedding.."

"We can do both."

"We can plan the wedding later. I need time with you."

"I'm all yours."

[bloodlinesbabe93]

Scared Chapter 2

@thebutterflygirl16

I didn't sleep at all last night. I laid on the couch and listened to Adam as he snored the entire night. I was too afraid he'd try something if I fell asleep. I had decided to get up around 7, and go downstairs to eat breakfast before anyone else got up. I quietly slipped out of our room, making my way down to the lobby, where free breakfast awaited me. I loaded my plate and quickly ate all of it. I was starving from not eating the night before. 

I threw my plate away, and attempted to slip back into our room, before Adam woke up. but when I walked back in, he was already awake, and moving.

"good morning Olivia" he says gently. 

"good morning" I mumble. 

"we're gonna meet down in the lobby soon for breakfast if you want to join" he says. I thought about it for a second, and decided to go, I had already eaten, so the least I could do is drink some more coffee. he smiled when I agreed to go down to breakfast with them. 

"good morning guys" Roddy says as we enter into the lobby. where he and Kyle were already waiting. Bobby came down just a few moments later. The guys each fixed their plate of food, while I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat at the table. 

"aren't you going to eat?" Adam asks as he walked over to the table. I shook my head and took a drink of my coffee. I could tell he had concern in his eyes.

"I already ate" I say quietly. I could tell that made him feel a little better, but i could he was unsure of whether or not he could believe me.  the others joined our table, each of them having the same look of concern on their faces. I knew I couldn't tell them. I couldn't break down my barriers. after they finish eating, we return to our rooms to get our bags, and load the car. I found out that today was strictly a travel day. we had to be in San Diego by tomorrow afternoon, which meant driving all day. 

I was exhausted. I hadn't slept since my nap last night when they stopped for dinner. and that only lasted maybe an hour. I knew I had to stay awake. I couldn't fall asleep around them. I didn't trust them. I walked back into the room behind Adam, finished packing my few last minute items, and started to wheel my bags out. once again walking behind Adam. as we got to the car, Adam took my bags and loaded them into the car while I slipped into my seat. this time being between Adam and Roddy. 

As Kyle started driving, I could feel my eyes getting really heavy. I was trying everything in my power to stay awake. 

"you look exhausted" Roddy says. all I could do was nod. 

"didn't sleep?" Kyle asks. I shook my head 

"let me guess, Cole's snoring kept you awake" Bobby says. I nodded again, not wanting to tell them the truth.

"sorry, next time wake me up so i'll stop" Adam says. 

"try and take a nap, we've got a long drive ahead of us" Roddy says

I knew I had to stay awake. i'd try to sleep some when they stopped for lunch, and dinner. each passing moment got harder and harder to keep my eyes open. but I knew I had to keep fighting it. 

"why are you fighting sleep?" Adam asks. I remained silent, afraid to speak. he continued to watch me as I fought to keep my eyes open. I could feel my anxiety level start to rise. I hated people staring at me. I could feel the tears starting to come, once I noticed that Roddy was also looking in my direction. I brought my knees to my chest. placing my head into my knees. this was one of my many defense mechanisms. i'd curl up in a ball. it helped me feel safer. 

"you okay?" Adam gently asks. once again I remained silent. afraid to speak, knowing they would hear the panic in my voice. I felt a hand on my back, which caused me to jump. Adam looked at me with worry once he saw the tears in my eyes. "Olivia, what's wrong" he asks. I shook my head this time unable to speak.

"dude leave her alone, you're just making it worse" Kyle says

great now they all think i'm a freak. I finally got my breathing under control. and the tears were almost gone. I put my feet back in the floor. sitting up in my seat. now I was wide awake.

"you okay?" Roddy asks gently. I nod. still not able to speak.

"I know you don't really know us that well yet, but whatever is going on you can talk to any of us. we care about you, and hate to see such a beautiful girl upset" Bobby says.  the others agreed with him. but I knew they had to be lying. me beautiful? yeah right. 

"he means it you know, we all really care about you, even though we just met you yesterday" Adam says. they wouldn't understand. I had to stay strong. no matter how genuine they sound.

"can we get to know you a bit?" Kyle asks. I sighed but slowly nod. 

"did you grow up a fan of wrestling?" Adam asks

"yeah, I started watching when I was 12" 

"who did you idolize growing up?" Roddy asks

"Mostly Eddie Guerrero, and Rey Mysterio"

"both great choices" Roddy says

"the feud they had in 2005 was what really got me into wrestling"

"so how old are you now?" Bobby asks

"25" I say quietly, knowing I was younger than all of them

 "when did you start wrestling?" Kyle asks

"when I was 19, just graduated high school, and didn't want to go to college"

"so you've been wrestling for 6 years?" Roddy asks

"yeah, actually last month was 6 years in the business."

"worst injury?" Adam asks

"I've never had a wrestling related injury, but I've broken both arms, and bruised my ribs" I didn't want to tell them about all the other injuries ive had from years of abuse.

"how did you get them?" Kyle asks

"I broke my arms by falling off a swing set, the left one when I was 4, the right one when I was 8. and my bruised ribs, I had just stepped on the slip n slide to go down again when someone hit me, I went flying in the air and landed hard on my back. it knocked the wind out of me. I don't know how I didn't get a concussion, my head hit the ground hard"

"oh my god, i'm glad you're okay" Adam says

"me too, that was the scariest injury I've ever had. just having the wind knocked out of me terrified me. and afterward being in so much pain, it was horrible"

"yeah, anything involving the ribs is not fun" Roddy says

"no it isn't"

"where did you grow up?" Adam asks

"born and raised in Cincinnati, but I just moved to Florida because of NXT"

"Cincinnati has some of the most passionate wrestling fans. I loved doing ROH shows there" Adam says

"yeah, I loved it. I worked for smaller promotions all around the Midwest, this is the first big time shot I've had."

"well so far you're doing great. you really took it to Nikki last night" Kyle says

"yeah until she threw me into the announce desk" 

"how are you feeling after that?" Adam asks

"my back hurts, but I've had worse"

he puts his hand on my back, and starts to rub it. but the action causes me to flinch

"oh sorry did I hurt you?" he asks

"no, I just scare easily"

"yeah we noticed, why do you get scared easily?" Bobby asks

"I don't want to talk about it. you guys wouldn't understand"

"hey just because we don't understand, doesn't mean we don't care or want to help" Adam says gently

"I guess without going into a lot of details, I've gone through too much, that nobody should ever have to go through."

"you don't have to tell us, but if you ever want to talk, we're here" Adam says, placing his hand on my knee. 

I could see just how genuine these four really were. I could feel myself starting to become comfortable around them. but I couldn't let my walls down. not after last time.

"what kind of stuff do you do when you aren't wrestling?" Bobby asks

"write, read, play video games, and sleep" 

"oh a gamer, nice. what do you play?" Adam asks

"grand theft auto, fortnite, call of duty. even though i'm horrible at all of them"

"you can't be that bad" he says

"oh I am"

"what kind of movies do you like?" Kyle asks

"I don't really watch movies, i'm still a kid and love Disney movies though. they're my favorite" I say quietly

"hey nothing wrong with that." Adam says

"do you have a favorite?" Roddy asks

"The Little Mermaid for sure, if I could turn into a mermaid and escape humans I would"

"hey we aren't that bad are we?" Adam says jokingly

"okay most humans. plus I love the water."

"good thing you live in Florida then, you're surrounded by water." Adam says

"I love the water, but hate the beach. I hate the sand"

"you're crazy, the beach is so relaxing" Roddy says

"i'd rather be in the mountains somewhere, with a swimming pool than surrounded by the ocean and sand"

"i'm going to have to change your mind about the beach" Adam says

"good luck with that" I say letting out a big yawn

"you know we still have a while to go, if you want to take a nap" Roddy says

"i'll be fine, maybe i'll be able to sleep tonight"

"you sure? you can rest your head on my shoulder if you want" Adam says

"yeah i'll be fine"

I however I wasn't fine. as I leaned my head back onto the headrest, I knew it would be a challenge to stay awake. since the conversation had died down, I had nothing to distract me. I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier, I felt Adam wrap his arm around me, and gently pull me so I could rest my head on his shoulder. I was to tired to even fight it. 

I was slowly letting my walls down. no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stay as strong as I was. they continued to break down the walls of my heart

[jcatalinacordova-semi-aband-blog]

I Am Grey - Prologue Part Two

REPOSTED ALL TOGETHER - THIS IS ALL OF PART TWO REPOSTED! ENJOY! IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT, FEEL FREE TOO!

A/N: I don't know if you're supposed to do it, but I did it. I made a part two to the prologue because I'd like the actual chapters to be when she's older. This is the beginning and it explains stuff so that you're not confused later. Sorry it took me awhile. ALL 4631 WORDS

Prologue Part One

This one is long, I hope you like it. It's gonna get funny and exciting when she is older, for this, she is just a scared little kid. Be excited for the next chapter, because trust me...she is not the same. ;)

Flames. Screams. Horror.

       It replayed in her mind over and over again. The running, the bodies, the heat. The memories tortured her young mind, floating in and out of sight. Her dreams drifting darker than ever before.

       Turning a familiar corner, coming face to face with not the 6 figures from before, but just one. Her cousin, Ben. He was clothed in his white and tan clothes from before.

       All she felt was betrayal, pain, and....curiosity. Why? Why was he doing this? Why had he destroyed everything she loved? Before she could react, Ben stepped closer and an evil look crossed his pale face.

       From out of no where, he pulled her father towards them both, igniting a lightsaber and plunging it into Luke's stomach. She tried to scream, tried to move, but found that she could do neither. All she could do was stand and watch as he twisted his lightsaber deeper into her father.

       He pulled the lightsaber out, her father falling to the ground before his body disappeared. He stepped forward only once before-

       J awoke with a gasp, pale blue eyes wide with panic and heart pounding hard in her chest. Her gaze darted around the room. It was a medium sized room, but to the little girl it looked massive.

       Almost everything was either black or a shade of grey, including the bed she now noticed she was laying on. It was big enough to easily hold two grown adults, and three or four of J. The rest of the room was bare except for the dresser and two doors.

       Her eyes finally drifted to herself, examining the damage she knew was there. Her right arm was tightly wrapped from her elbow to her wrist, a bit of the wound peaking out onto her hand, where she noticed light bruises on her knuckles. In her other arm, an IV had been placed. Someone had tried to fix her up, she'd thank them if she could, but no one was there.

       She stayed, staring at her injures for a few moments before trying to sit up. The thick, black blanket fell from her torso and she took note of the new cloths. And unsurprisingly, it was all black. A plain black shirt and pants, and with the blanket pulled down some more, black socks. "This place seems cheery..." she sarcastically mumbled, her voice sounded rough and unused.

       J thought about getting up and searching around, but was afraid of moving the IV. She cleared her throat and tried to call out. "Hello?" she was quiet at first, perhaps too quiet, so she tried again, louder this time, "Anyone here?"

       She nibbled at her bottom lip, watching the door carefully, but no one came through. It seemed like she waited for hours, when truthfully it was only minutes. The young girl was getting restless, she needed to go. J took a deep breath, slowly moving her legs off the side of the bed. Her legs dangled, not nearly touching the floor.

       Her eyes glanced back at the blaster door, no one came through. She moved herself down, feeling the cold floor through her new socks, before putting her full weight on them. Her legs wobbled and ached, her hand shot out and grabbed quickly onto the IV pole, using it for support.

       Deep breath in...deep breath out, She told herself, Baby steps. One. Two. Three.

Woosh!

       Her head whipped towards the door, stands of hair falling in front of her vision. The door had shot open and in came a terrified looking woman. Behind her was a man dressed all in black with a familiar mask hiding his face. Her eyes widened in recognition, before her gaze turned back to the female.

       The woman approached J quickly, causing the young Skywalker to take a few shaky steps back. "You're not supposed to be out of bed ma'am." Ma'am?

       "I-I called out a-and no one answered. I was just-"

       "Let's get you back in bed." the woman cut her off, seemingly ignoring J's excuse.

       "But I don't want to get back in the bed..." J mumbled, sounding like the sad child she was, taking another step back as the woman reached for her, "P-please don't touch me."

       The woman looked more frustrated this time, going to move forward, but a hand stopped her. The leather glove was clamped down on the female's shoulder. His helmet turned to look at her before stating, "Leave. I'll request you back in a few minutes." It was simple, but clear. The woman nodded, the scared look back on her features, and then she scurried away. The doors shut harshly behind her.

       J hadn't moved during the exchange. Her breathing was fast and her eyes were wide in fear like they had been since that night. He turned to her, silent as he himself moved forward. J didn't move away this time, looking up at a mask which held the face of her cousin under it. The person she used to look up to. For whatever reason, J had loved Ben since the day she was born. Her very first smile was directed at him. He had been her best friend in her 10 years of life.

       And he had taken away everything she ever held close to heart.

       He took another step, and with these new thoughts in mind, she stepped back as well, but her foot had gotten caught on something. She stumbled back instead, head hitting the wall with a thump. She yelped out in pain, crumpling to the floor. Her vision was fuzzy and a headache had started it's way through her head.

       Her vision soon cleared, and her eyes were met with the emotionless mask of Ben. He had crouched down to her height, seemingly staring at her. She stared back, hands dropping from her head and to the freezing ground. It was an uncomfortable silence that fell upon them.

       She would have wondered why he was wearing a mask, but it clicked as soon as she thought of it. He was 5 times scarier with it. Without seeing a face, without seeing emotions, it left an odd feeling of suspense that hung thick in the air.

       Oddly, the stillness of it all was calming in a way. Her heart rate slowed and her breathing returned to it's own sort of normal. The first movement made in what felt like minutes was the tilt of his head.

       "Better?" was all he asked, though the question didn't sound like he was concerned. It sounded almost condescending. J's eyes flickered to the ground as she nodded. He shifted, elbows resting on his bent knees, head straightening back up.

       "You're hurt." he stated, "And that woman's a doctor. Let her do her job, J."

       "But-"

       "J." it was a clear warning.

       "Fine! Whatever." she snapped, looking up with a little glare she managed to muster up. He didn't say anything, and didn't move. She couldn't get to the bed with him in front of her, "You need to move, ya know."

       Unknown to her, a smirk had formed on his face. It was amusing to see her try to be intimidating. She had a long way to go. He swiftly pushed himself up and took a few steps back, gesturing towards the bed with his hand.

       J let out a sigh, placing a hand on the back wall while her other hand gripped the IV stand tightly. She slowly pulled herself up, legs wobbling and head pounding, her eyes closed as pain became clear on her face. She wanted to fall back down, to insist on staying on the ground, but she felt like she had to be stronger than that.

       She placed a hand on the back of her head, taking a deep breath. She opened her eyes, blinking away small tears. It was only two small steps till she reached it. J let go of the pole, sliding herself back onto the bed, that felt way more comfortable than it had before.

        She watched as Ben's hand came out to the side, opening the door for the doctor. Without saying a word, and moved to stand at the end of the bed. The woman walked over a bit hesitantly, J noticed the supplies that she now brought with her.

       She allowed the doctor to gently grab her burned arm, slowly unwrapping it to reveal that the whole back of her forearm was covered in healing burn scars. They were still a bit pink. "Woah..." J's airy voice was evidence of the shock that overcame her, seeing her own arm like this.

       "It's still in its healing phase, but it will scar." The doctor informed her, grabbing a tube of some sort of gel, "This'll sting." she than began to apply it to the burned skin. J let out an audible hiss, her eyes clamping shut immediately. Saying it stung was an understatement.

       Eventually, she felt fabric against her skin. The doctor was wrapping it back up. The pain subsided and J opened her eyes. The female lifted her small hand gingerly, checking over the fading bruises, which raised the question, "How long was I asleep?"

       The doctor was about to answer, when Ben did it for her, "A week."

       "A week!?" J repeated in surprise.

       This time the doctor got to answer, "I gave you some medicine, to speed up your healing. The coma is a side affect." She dropped J's hand and placed the tube and gauze back in her small bag, "Everything is healing nicely, I'm going to recommend some more rest, and eventually you should be back to normal." The woman hadn't looked at J's face the entire time, she observed.

       The woman went to walk away, but J quickly reached out with her uninjured arm and tugged on the fabric of her shirt, "What's your name?"

       The doctor turned to her, finally meeting J's eyes, "Dr. Tendo." J finally took notice to how the doctor looked. She had neatly pulled back red hair and chocolate brown eyes. Her face was round and soft. She was beautiful. She had been too caught up to really look at her before.

       The young girl offered her a small, weak smile, "Thank you for helping me, Dr. Tendo." She gave J a kind smile back, before turning away and leaving with the slam of the doors behind her. "Bye." she mumbled to herself.

       Ben had watched this interaction intently. Snoke had insisted that he keep his cousin alive. He claimed she would one day be powerful and they would need her on their side, considering it easier to manipulate her at such a young age. But from what he just watched, he doubted it would be as easy as Snoke thinks it will be. She's drawn to the light....though, he could sense something else. Something hidden.

      J shifted so that she was sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring at her hands in her lap.  She could tell he was thinking, with how his helmet was tilted slightly downwards and he took a familiar stance. She imagined that look on his face, the one he always got when he was in deep thought. His face was serious, but his eyes showed that he was clearly not fully at attention.

       But he wore a mask now.

       After a few moments, J decided to speak up, "Hey, Ben-"

       "Kylo."

       "What?"

       He turned towards her this time, "My name is Kylo Ren." He stood up straighter, "Ben, is gone." he stated definitely. J didn't fully understand what that meant, giving him a confused look.

       The modifier hid the sound of his sigh before he clarified, "I changed my name." It didn't sound as cool, but at least J understood now. She made an 'oh' face, than asked, "Why?"

       "I needed to destroy my past, who I was, to become what I was always supposed to be." He phrased it the best he could, watching her reaction carefully. She seemed to understand, pondering over something in her head.

       "So, you're gonna be different?" she asked, tilting her head to the side much like he had earlier, though her's was more out of curiosity. He nodded, but didn't say anything.

       "Oh, okay." She muttered, "Well....then, hey Kylo. Why am I here?" her hands messed with the fabric of the blanket, "You didn't take anyone else, and I know it's not because I'm family, because I didn't see my dad." she looked up from the bed.

       "It was an order, from the Supreme Leader." he answered, "Whom we are supposed to speak with later today." this had J more worried than before. Supreme Leader? Who was that? And why did he give the order to kidnap her? "I'll be back in a few hours. I suggest you get more sleep." he finished off, turning away and walking to the doors.

       "Wait!" she called. He halted, but said nothing. "W-why.....Why did he order you to take me?" she asked, confusion taking over every other emotion.

       It was silent for a few seconds....

        "You'll see."

       She didn't know when or how, but she had drifted off to sleep at some point. This time it was a decently peaceful, no dreams plaguing it.

       Two rather large hands grabbed onto her and began to shake her lightly. Her eyes slowly blinked open, a noise of confusion leaving her lips before her eyes readjusted to the light. "It's time."

       The familiar mask of Ben Kylo appeared in her vision. "Oh..." she mumbled tiredly, rubbing her eyes. His hands wrapped around her upper arms, pulling her to sit up. Without warning, he grabbed her uninjured arm and pulled out the IV. "Ow!" she whined, giving a little pout.

       He said nothing, only grabbing something from the floor and tossing them to the young girl. She barely caught them, one falling onto her lap. It was a pair of tan boots. They were a soft and comfortable fabric, and she recognized them immediately.

       "These are actually mine..." J observed, turning them to look at the bottom, her initials engraved in the bottom. They had been her favorite, but had gone missing awhile back. "How did you find these?"

       "They were never missing."

       She looked up at him in confusion, before it clicked. This whole thing must have been being planned way before that night, it wasn't a split second thing. He took her boots to make sure they didn't get destroyed. He knew how much she loved them, perhaps this was a small sign of any care he had left for her.

       A small smile crossed her little face before she pushed the blankets away from her, slipping the boots onto her feet. They reached up to her mid-calf and were only a bit too big, her father claimed that it was so she would be able to grow into them. She tightly fixed the straps, making sure they wouldn't be too loose.

       She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and hopped down, wobbling at first. The pain in her head had resided, making it easier to focus on her steps. "Follow me." he spoke, heading out the door, his cape dramatically swinging out behind him.

       J's steps were smaller than his, which made following him harder. She was several feet behind him, and trying her hardest to catch up with him.

       It seemed like forever when they finally reached their destination. A large metal door opened to reveal a bland, gigantic room. In the very middle sat a man half the size of the room, it took her a second to recognize it as a hologram. He had an oddly shaped head and a piercing gaze. He was terrifying.

       "Supreme Leader." Kylo greeted once they approached the hologram. J stopped a bit behind her cousin, subconsciously trying to hide behind his tall frame.

       Snoke gave a nod to the knight, before bringing his attention to the small child cowering behind his apprentice. "Move out from behind him, child." he ordered in a calm voice.

       J nibbled on her cheek, fidgeting with the fabric of her shirt. Kylo stepped to the side, looking at the nervous and scared girl. Her eyes darted from him to the large projection before gazing at the floor, moving forward with shaky steps.

       The hologram bent farther down in the chair, as if to examine her, "So small for someone so powerful." he spoke, leaning back up and turning to Kylo. "I would have come in person, but my ship is under repair at the moment." he explained, though J had a feeling he really didn't have to. Kylo remained silent, nodding in understanding.

       The humanoid switched the topic quickly after that, "I ordered you both here to inform you on my decision." He stated, leaning back in his chair, "I believe it would be beneficial to separate the two of you while you continue your training, Ren."

       J stopped her fidgeting, freezing on the spot. What? Her breathing picked up, eyes wide. Alone. All alone. She didn't want to be alone. She couldn't, not now. Not after all of this.

       "Where will you be sending her?" Kylo asked, the modifier seemed to hide any emotions he could have been feeling in that moment. Truly, he felt a twinge of worry, though he would never show that.

       "Her assigned ship is relatively new. It's name is still being decided. You will be given the location and updates, but that is the extent of it." Snoke answered, "She will still be trained by me personally, but it will be...modified." Kylo gave a nod, while J was getting frustrated that she was not being included in a talk about her. What if she didn't want to go?

       "I must go now. Ren, I trust you to finish off the plan. Her transport should be here in less than a week. I trust everything will be taken care of." Snoke's image wavered before fully disappearing.

       "I'm leaving?" she asked, though it was rhetorical.

       Kylo's mask turned to her, before his whole body turned towards the exit and he stomped over to the door. Yes, stomped. J followed after him, observing how his fists clenched at his sides.

       She wondered what had him so worked up.

       It had been roughly three days since she had spoken with the Supreme Leader. Kylo had dropped her off back in the room she was staying at without any words, and she hadn't seen him after that. Some clothes had been dropped by for the couple days she'd be here. Surprise, they were black. Much like most of the base.

       The days here were repetitive and honestly, quite boring so far. They went like this: wake up, get checked over by Dr. Tendo, eat, talk with Dr. Tendo (they had created a friendly bond over their time together) , occasionally walk around the base, and sleep.

       Today, she was in the 5th step. She wore a black shirt and pants with her tan boots, but with a black jacket this time. The wardrobe was slowly growing.

       She stuffed her hands in the pockets of the jacket, strolling around the hallways. Her legs had started to feel better, so this was more  enjoyable than the first time she had tried. She blew a piece of blonde hair out of her face before turning an unfamiliar corner, which caused her to bump straight into another person.

       She yelped as she stumbled backwards, blurting out a "Sorry!". She looked up to face the mask of her cousin, "Oh, hi." she mumbled, eyes glancing to the side.

       "What are you doing outside your room?" his modified voice asked, sounding curious, but also annoyed. J awkwardly shrugged, "I got bored."

       Under the mask, he rolled his honey-brown eyes at her response. He had been coming to get her anyway, "You won't be for much longer, your transport will arrive in an hour."

       Panic spread through J, she knew it was coming, but she didn't expect it so soon. Even though her days were boring, at least she wasn't alone.

       "I may not be bored...but I'll be alone." she stated, her voice laced with sadness.

       "They'll be people." he responded.

       "Not one's I know!"

       "You'll get to know them!"

       "I don't want to!"

       "J!"

       "BEN!"

       "DON'T-" he growled loudly, clenching his fists. J had jumped, cowering from the loud noise. He took a deep breath, knowing that lashing out and hurting the girl wouldn't work out well. He resisted the urge to grab his lightsaber and carve dents in the wall, and tried again, "Don't call me that. And I suggest you stop arguing. You're going on that ship, whether you want to or not."

       Her eyes watered, but she nodded, staring at the ground and her boots. A small, hidden part of him wanted to do something...anything to make her feel better, but he pushed it deep down.

       "You have time to say goodbye to Dr. Tendo, but then we have to wait at the bay. It's been requested that you leave as soon as possible." he stated, watching the girl shift feet.

       "Okay....but I don't know where she is...." her voice was quiet. He nodded before turning on his heel and walking the other way. She followed quietly, assuming he was showing her where to go.

       She knew he had been when they arrived at the med-bay. She moved in front of him, looking around until her eyes spotted the familiar bright red hair. She was looking over something on her data pad. "Dr. Tendo!" J waved, giving a weak smile.

       The ginger perked up, smiling before turning her head towards the little girl's voice, smile faltering when seeing the dark clad figure behind her.

       "Hello J." she greeted politely, walking over to the two, "I talked to you a few hours ago, what's up now?" she asked, trying to ignore Kylo's presence.

       J's smile disappeared completely, "Well...I-I'm leaving...soon." she looked down at her fidgeting hands, "I came to say Goodbye. And thank you for taking care of me."

       Dr. Tendo glanced over at Kylo, than moved her eyes to the little girl, and surprised her by wrapping her arms around her small frame. "It's been a pleasure getting to know you J, I hope we see each other again soon."

       J felt awkward at first, but than found comfort in the hug. She squeezed the doctor's waist, holding onto her tightly.  She didn't know what to say, so she just held onto her like her life depended on it.

       Dr. Tendo could tell that Ren was becoming impatient, causing her to place her hands on J's shoulders, gently moving her away, "You should probably go...but first, I'd like you to have something." she gave the girl a small smile, sliding a bracelet off her pale wrist and onto J's.

       It was an open bracelet, silver until one of the end forms into a golden moon with a silver inside. The other end forms into a small heart with a diamond in the middle. It was beautiful.

       "I love it." the girl said in amazement, looking back up at the doctor, "Are you sure?" Dr. Tendo gave a soft smile before nodding,

       "Yes, now go on, I'll see you again one day."

       J nodded, turning her head to Ben Kylo. His blank mask stared right back at her. She sighed, turning away from the doctor completely, "Let's go." she mumbled, staring down at her wrist.

       Ren showed her silently out of the med-bay, and down a couple hallways, before J tugged on his arm, "Wait," she sighed, continuing when he turned to look at her, "Can I see your face before I leave?" she asked, awkwardly glancing away.

       He stayed silent for a moment, seemingly contemplating. He glanced around, making sure they were alone, than his hands lifted to the helmet. It released a hissing sound and J stared up at him with anticipation. He slowly pulled it off, ebony hair falling out to frame his pale face. His honey eyes stared down at her.

       He was definitely the Ben she grew up with, but he had a different look in his eyes. Something she couldn't decipher. She was happy to see his face, but also saddened and slightly scared. It didn't matter though.

        Even though what he did was awful, he was still the person she had looked up to her whole life. In a split second decision, she jumped forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him tightly. Her face pressed against his stomach.

       He stood still, honestly surprised, arms out away from his sides as the small girl hugged him. He stared down at her. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to send her away on her own, she had clung to him her whole life. They had formed a special bond.

       He let out an almost audible sigh, glancing around once more, before dropping his helmet and moving his arms down, placing his hands on the girl's shoulders, nudging her away gently. She reluctantly let go, looking down.

       Kylo crouched down to her height, trying to meet her gaze, "You will be fine. This will not be the last we see each other. It may be months or years, but one day....you will be back." and with the last of the light left in him, he pulled his cousin to him, returning her hug from just seconds ago. "But don't expect me to be the same."

       With that, he let go and slipped his helmet back on. He stood to his full height, "follow me."

       Within minutes, they were at the docks, her ride just arriving. He nudged her forward as the door hissed and opened to reveal the inside of the ship.

       A Storm Trooper stepped out of the ship and motioned her forward. She glanced back at Ren, a look of sadness, before turning forward and walking.

        She walked until she reached the Trooper. "Skywalker?" he asked. J nodded, "This is my transport?" He nodded as well.

       She kept walking at that, a feeling of nervousness flooding her. The Trooper followed behind her, and the door closed behind them.

       J immediately went to a nearby window, seeing Kylo still standing where he was. She tilted her head slightly to the side, pressing her right hand onto the window.

       "Bye Bye Ben."

[maudanouk]

ACT I - ABOUT VEIL AND IMAGE

EXT. GARDEN - DAWN

LENNY arrives at the WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE. Here is the garden and around it some flower beds, a space cultivated for flowers for Margot, to make a spray for her hair, to perfume the sheets.[2] The WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE embraces him warmly with its garden.

WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE

Every man must create it new and different out of himself: new and different. [3] Once on a June evening, in those long gone years when the ends of days sank into silence, I was waiting for a total eclipse of the sun on a terrace facing a garden, overlooking the foliage of a maple tree. [4] And I thought of you Lenny. In the sudden darkness I saw you, hidden behind a veil, the massive walls of the Vatican Palace. A faceless silhouette.

LENNY 

I have no image [...] because I am no one.[6] To become like everybody else; but this, precisely, is a becoming only for one who knows how to be nobody, to no longer be anybody. [9] And so, for my first adress the lightning was so dim, no photographer, no TV cameraman, and not even the faithful saw anything of me but a dark shadow, my silhouette. They did not see me because I do not exist.[10]  The prim speech imposed upon them, the lessons in good behaviour, the veil of mystery you profess to hang before their eyes, serve but to stimulate their curiosity. [7] In being everywhere and nowhere I was [...] the object of much social curiosity; people payed attention to this, spoke about it, remembered it.[8] Now that I am pressed on all sides, I maintain my equilibrium, because, no longer attached to anything, I depend on myself alone.[10]I love the immediate presence of him who is in possession of no space other than that in which I exist.[11] I keep praying for You to make something happen so why this awful, crawling feeling that nothing ever does? [11]I either hardly feel it, or don't feel it at all.[12] God does not shout. God does not whisper. God does not write. God does not hear. God does not chat. God's infinite silence...[13] I said to myself: Why should I strive to find what does not exist? [14] By extending myself precariously I exist, outside of the stability where the other subject remains asleep or dead. [15] And in the end I only thought of her[16], my Margot. I don’t know her yet but you will help me find her.

WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE (hesistates)

The new is born of the old; the new is only the repetition of the old.[5] What you’re looking for is a complete inversion. Again a mystery, a face that is not yours but this time it will not be no image but all image. The new self is constructed from a triple contingency: faith and doubt; hope that will be happy at an indeterminate time; bonds of unconditional Love.[18] When i watched the total eclipse of the sun that summer evening it soon became dark and an eclipse wind, like a wave, had risen when suddenly from the neighbouring house burst forth a sort of wild dance, with the strange, biting, astringent sound of Pan’s pipes. Young people were celebrating some festival, they had confused shadow with twilight and were playing as night fell. However much one knows about it, the veiling of the sun’s light is disturbing and transports one to another world. [18] I saw you cover up in darkness and now i see you longing for the unveiling of the sun. And in this twilight a party shall rise so that the heart, that obscure, celestial flower, undergoes a mysterious blossoming. 19]That is the only way great loves stories are born and I don't want any more part time believers.[20]

ACT II - ABOUT BEES AND HONEY 

EXT. GARDEN - MORNING 

LENNY discovers a garden in this Genesis, naturally, and in this garden only the apple tree interests him, tempts him: he can see its flowers.[21] He walks towards the tree. The WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE is observing him. As LENNY reaches for one of the blossoms a bee flies out of it.

LENNY

But how can i find my Margot in this city still so strange to me?

WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE

You have to understand what she likes. Margot is the bee and you are her honey. What does Margot like?

LENNY (looking at the flowers)

Margot likes wind in her hair and salt cristals on her skin, lace and hoodies, rings on her fingers and flowers in her hair, black panthers and partridges, walking barefoot on wet grass and wearing mid calf boots, day dreaming and ADHD, dancing underground and sleeping in white sheets, birch trees and skyscrapers, gel nails and knitting, smocking and drinking tee, equal rights and mini skirts, her birthday and celebrating christmas with her family, a Ferrari Portofino and umberella pine trees, Fellinis Roma and Mario Cart, Los Angeles and Palermo, seashells and pinecones, Zorra by Bad Gyal and playing the Bach Suite Nr. 1 on her Cello, passion fruits and rough fights, oranges and jeweled persian rice, fig trees and Coke, dry white wine and soft cheese, creaky parquet and soft carpets, stone basins and hot springs, ....

WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE

The mask does not hide the face, it is the face.[21] Your new face should combine all these elements to a story. You become invisible by making, on the contrary, a lot of noise.[22] [...] the veil of mystery you profess to hang before their eyes, serve but to stimulate their curiosity[23]. In being everywhere and nowhere [...] the object of much social curiosity[24] people will pay attention to it, speak about it, remember it. And I will be the embodiment of your story the place where all elements manifest in a happening. A great feast Margot will want to attend.

ACT III - THE INVITATION

INT. MARGOTS MURCIELAGO - AFTERNOON

A downpour of summer rain patters on the front window.  MARGOT is waiting at a red light. Her phone buzzes and she opens the message. 

TEXT ON SCREEN

My darling friends, there’s one spectacular party in the making! Join us tonight at the Wittgenstein House to another glass of white wine under the fig trees, eating fresh fish on soft carpets next to blossoming anthuries. Glowing cheeks from dancing till dawn. Bring a delicate, floating, spring bouquet of florets in new leaf green, cherry blossom pink, and marigold yellow[25] and we’ll serve everything else. XOXO EROS (Gossip Girl, Prince Charming, SHY GIRL, haha)

ACT IV - THE PARTY 

EXT. THE CITY INT. AVAS FERRARI PORTOFINO - SUNSET

The rain had stopped. The water evaporated on the hot asphalt and left a sultry summer evening air. AVAs car is speeding down the Ringstrasse. The roof of the cabrio is folded down and the wind blows through their hair. 

AVA (lost in thought)

Do you think EROS will attend the party today? I wish we’d find out who’s behind all this uproar. Maybe it’s one of our friends hiding behind a second persona. It would make sense because EROS seems to like all the things we do. 

MARGOT

Some weeks ago we’ve never heard about him and now he's everywhere.  Noise, ruckus, rumors spread.[27] I’ve heard the parties are supposed to be unique in its kind and his face, enveloped by a more or less dense veil[26] has sparked many suspicions. (sighs) I think he looks like Hauru, wearing drop earrings made of rubies and emeralds combined [...] dripping down[27] his lobe, a radiant boy [...] his blonde chin length hair making him the cynosure of all eyes.[27]

AVA shakes her head and starts laughing.

EXT. THE SITE - RADIATION INTO NEIGHBOURHOOD -  SUNSET

It’s dark but the garden is enlightened by the colourful lights emerging the windows. The WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE is radiant and reaching in all directions, emitting visual, audible and perceptible vibrations. The air smells of Un Jardin en Méditerranée. The Ferrari Portofino enters the SITE. AVA and MARGOT step out of it. Instantly they are surrounded by an electric atmosphere. People get chauffeured around in Mercedes Benz with Cristal champagne.[28] On inspecting the entrance facade, you can discover a series of metaphors and symbolic signs.[29] It would be too strong to call this fantasy a portal to Hell, but it is surely no entrance to a Heavenly Jerusalem[30]. AVA and MARGOT join the stream of guests walking through the garden towards the WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE greeting, kissing, hugging.

INT. THE ENTRANCE - APERO - THE FIRST IMPRESSION - SUNSET

The party begins as people are moving in, gathering in the entrance hall and taking a stand up cocktail.[31] There is champagne, caviar and fireworks.[32] Ahead, some distance from the entrance, is a great mural of brilliant color.[33] Opulent Ornaments, heavy textiles, reflecting surfaces. The materials come from the everyday domestic sphere, much having to do with ornamenting the body: copper and brass wire, buttons, beads, baubles, hooks, eyes, straps, false fingernails, makeup, hair, ribbons, lace, thread, shells, feathers, and bones. The amulets are fetishes, beautiful ornamental objects, and they are connected to the fetishism of architectural representation.[34] 

WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE (whispering to the YOUNG POPE)

This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. First Impressions are made. About me as the entrance always affects the following impression of the whole house and about you. Especially Margots first impression of you. I am preparing you, bit by bit, so that, at the desired moment, I can give you the final instructions and have it all fall into place.[35] 

MARGOT (whispering)

Ava! Look at this man sitting on the seashell sofa in the garden. He’s knitting all alone while everybody else is clinking glasses. 

AVA (teasing)

Why don’t you bring him a glass of Prosecco. I know it, I feel it, and you will say it.[35]

MARGOT (concentrated)

You just know me too well and yes, he is cute.

EXT. THE GARDEN - THE TALK ABOUT LOVE - SUNSET

MARGOT walks over to the LENNY carrying a glass of prosecco. Rising up in a warm haze, the innumerable modern statues towered on their pillars half way up the golden webs of sunset.[36] The garden is a collection of living beauties, rare Plants, exotic Flowers and Fruits. The trees are old and high and in between long white cotton cloths are hanging in the trees, blowing in the wind, rendering shadow plays. LENNY is sitting in the seashell sofa sheltered from the wind, warm sunbeams began to play, streams to flow, and groves of pines diversified the rocks. [37] MARGOT hands him the glass.

MARGOT (laughing)

Hello strange man, what are you knitting? 

LENNY

Some of the more exotic plants have to be taken indoors for protection from the cold night air and swaddled in thick woollen garments.[38]

MARGOT We have, indeed, become a flower growing people.[39] So you’re actually a textile and dress designer[40] for plants of all kinds. (laughs)

LENNY

When, on a summer evening, the melodious sky growls like a tawny lion, and everyone is complaining of the storm, it is the memory of the Meseglise way that makes me stand alone in ecstasy, inhaling, through the noise of the falling rain, the lingering scent of invisible lilacs.[41] Or when I reach out to touch a fragile tree and blossoming spicules float downwards and fade, each with its clear, tiny tinkle.[42] These are the moments I cherish most. I am in love with them and that is why I take care of them. 

MARGOT (hesistating)

But for me love is not only loving and caring. It fun when it starts getting way more complex. It is raucous, low, full, pleading, vulgar, sharp, cutting, jovial, harmonious, commanding, harrowing, seductive, explosive or irritated[...] noble, high pitched, servile, majestic, ample, sick, affronted, clothed in silence, echoing with the sea or forest, undercut by the twittering of birds, howling like a wild beast, [... ]asking questions and saying come here, an alarming voice, broken, sobbing [43]. 

LENNY (sighs)

Until now I’v only got to know a more one-sided monotonous love but thats another story. I’d be excited to get to know your kind of love.

MARGOT (excited)

Oh look over there! It’s a real black panther prowling through the peach trees!

EXT. WINTER GARDEN - DAWN

People are appearing in the open doors of the WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE following the excited call of MARGOT. People start bringing out plates with all kinds of foods. The WITTGENSTEING HOUSE opens all the windows that all the curtains flow in the summer breeze. A stone basin appears and now the air is filled by lapping and cricket chirping. 

INT. SALON - DANCING AND TEASING - NIGHT

After eating the WITTGENSTEIN HOUSE starts playing Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado. Slowly the dancefloor is filled with curiously dancing people. Tossing their hands in a wanton and lascivious manner, rolling around, twerking. MARGOT catches LENNYs eye and they dance towards each other.

SPEAKERS

♪ Promiscuous girl You're teasing me You know what I want And I got what you need ♪

MARGOT (smiling)

Feeling a little afraid is normal when facing something new, in a place or in a way you’ve never experienced before.[44] You don’t look like you’ve ever danced before. SPEAKERS

♪ Promiscuous boy Let's get to the point Cause we're on a roll Are you ready? ♪

LENNY (laughing)

You’re not that wrong with this assumption but you dance the way you love, it seems. Raucous, full, pleading, vulgar, sharp, cutting, jovial, harmonious, commanding, harrowing, seductive, explosive.[45] SPEAKERS 

♪ Wait... I don't mean no harm I can see you with my t-shirt on ♪

LENNY takes MARGOS hand and twirls her around. SPEAKERS

♪ I can see you with nothing on Feeling on me before you bring that on ♪

[2] Serres, The Parasite

[3] Deleuze, Francis Bacon The Logic of Sensation

[4] Serres, The Five Senses

[5] Serres, Hermes Literature Science Philosophy

[6] The Young Pope

[7] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[8] Foucault, The History of Sexuality Volume 2

[9] Deleuze Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus

[10] The Young Pope, (Grammatics changed)

[10] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[11]  Serres, The Five Senses

[11]  The Young Pope

[12] Wittgenstein, Philosophical Investigations

[13] Aquinas, Summa Theologica

[14] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[15] Serres, The Five Senses

[16] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[18] Serres, The Five Senses

[18] Serres, Branches

[19] Hugo, Les Miserables

[20] The Young Pope

[21] Deleuze Guattari, A Thousand Plateaus

[22] Serres, The Parasite

[23] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[24] Foucault, The History of Sexuality Volume 2

[25] Kassinger, Slime

[26] Deleuze, Cinema 1 The Movement Image

[27] Serres, Troubadour of Knowledge

[27] Rand, The Fountainhead

[27] Hovestadt Buehlmann, Quantum City

[28] Hovestadt Buehlmann, Quantum City

[29] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[30] Frankl, The Gothic

[31] Schumacher, The Autopoiesis of Architecture Vol 2

[32] Carter, Anthony Blunt His Lives

[33] Ockmann, Architecture Culture 1943 1968

[34] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[35] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[35] The Young Pope

[36] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol IV Sodom and Gomorrah

[37] Wollstonecraft, Complete Works

[38] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol II Within a Budding Grove

[39] Gothein, A History of Garden Art

[40] Callan, Dictionary of Fashion and Fashion Designers

[41] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol I Swanns Way

[42] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[43] Serres, The Five Senses

[44] Del Toro, Cabinet of Curiosities

[45] Serres, The Five Senses

[eurusholmmes]

My Sunshine| Mark Sloan

Obviously song lyrics come from You Are My Sunshine - by Johnny Cash. 

I was rewatching the Season 6 and 8 finale over the past couple of days.. and it just occurred to me again how absolutely phenomenal Marks character development was for the time he was on the show!

Prompt: You and Mark are head over heels in love with each other. but he believes you deserve someone better and you, on the other hand, have never wanted anything more then to call him yours. But time.. you never seem to have enough of it. 

Key: bolded italics are lyrics

Italics are flashbacks

Set during 8x24-9x01

Darkness. All you could see was the darkness, hear the rabid sounds of wild animals that tore into the body of the youngest Grey, taste the blood in the air that seeped through open wounds. It was nearly two in the morning according to your watch, and you were currently standing watch while the rest of the group slept. 

All of them except Mark. 

Your y/e/c eyes fell upon Arizona Robbins and Mark Sloan, who were nestled together in the broken back of the plane. After diagnosing his cardiac tamponade and releasing the excess blood, you’d taken Mark away from Lexie’s body and set to making him as comfortable as you possibly could. 

  ‘’Mark.” You said quietly, leaning against the back of the wing as Cristina heaved his limp body and settled him awkwardly against your chest. His warm breath ghosted your skin as you tenderly wrapped your arms around his torso, careful not to aggravate his injuries any further. He shivered as you inhaled his scent - faint cologne and scotch mixed with the smell of leather. Everything that made him Mark. “I’m sorry.” 

  “She was a good girl, y/n.” He rasped, taking your hand in his own and resting it against his face. “But she was never the one for me.” 

You had spent the next hour and a half trying to understand what he meant. Callie had alluded to Mark having secret feelings for you for years, but he had never made an effort to act on them. Secret glances and late nights, whispered confessions and once in a life time opportunities in the on-call room. 

And everything pointed back to time. No matter how much you wanted to or tried, he was always trying to find his worth in the women he slept with. Altman, Torres, Julia, Lexie.. He had tried so hard to find someone to love him the way he loved, but he never had. And now.. now it had finally hit him that you were the one he wanted. 

But it was too late. 

2007

Mark watched you with Derek from the opposite side of the reception hall. You were dressed in a lavender bridesmaids dress that clung to the curves he’d always admired; not too immodest but also leaving enough to the all seeing eye. He’d always had his eyes on you. You were the most captivating woman he’d ever met.. and he couldn’t find the guts to tell you just how beautiful you were to him. 

  “Dude,” Jackson chided, lightly nudging him in the ribs as he tightened his grip on Marks video camera. “You have got to stop undressing her with your eyes. Just.. you’ve gotta tell her how you feel man.” Jackson watched through the lense as Mark swallowed the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. The only Avery child watched intently as Mark then turned himself towards the camera and flipped the power button off.

He clearly didn’t want his speech on record. 

  “You ever get that pounding feeling in your chest that makes your whole body vibrate, Avery? First time I got it was the day I started at the hospital. Derek had brought y/n with him from New York after his move.. and they started running the Neuro Wing together. The Dream Team.. we called them. I couldn’t explain why my heart pounded, or my stomach clenched, or why I lost the ability to speak every time she was near me. Then, it hits me!” Mark snapped his fingers. “It wasn’t like any relationship I’d been in before. Not for the sex.. or for the raw magnetism.. but I was genuinely interested in getting to know this beautiful, captivating woman who was more concerned about the state of my heart then my charmingly good looks.” Jackson was stunned at the earnest expression on Marks face as he continued. “When you can find yourself a woman who wants all of you exactly as you are..” 

Your eyes met Marks in that moment, your y/e/c lighting up as you beckoned him to you from the other side of the room. 

  “You don’t ever let her go.” 

You were pulled from your trance at the sound of Arizonas weak voice. “Y-Y/n-” She murmured, careful not to wake the others as you padded over to her. “He’s saying your name again.” Grimacing, you pushed your hair out of your face and took her spot nestled in the wing, resting Marks head on top of the pillow in your lap. Arizona yawned and settled her head on your shoulder before she fell back into a fitful sleep. 

  “’M sorry y/n-” Mark said quietly. You allowed your gaze to flicker down to the man in your arms as you slowly began to rake your fingers through his hair. “All this time, I treated you like you never mattered-” 

A knot formed in your throat as tears blurred your vision. “Mark-” 

  “And the thing is, you’ve always mattered the most. And I’m sorry I never made that clear.” He was having trouble speaking, so you made no move to further the conversation - due to your silent sobbing and the fact that the three words you’d been waiting to say for years were right there, but you couldn’t find it in you to say it to him. “Can you do one more thing for me?” 

You nodded fervently. “Anything.” 

  “Remember the first time you sang You Are My Sunshine to me?” He said quietly. You remembered the night well; it was one of those rare times he’d allowed himself to open up and somehow the two of you ended up entangled on the sofa in his apartment. You wiped away hot tears from his cheeks and allowed him to fall against your chest, head tucked beneath your chin as you softly broke into song. “Can you sing it again-n?” 

The other night dear

As I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms 

  “Look me in the face,” Derek snapped, drawing you away from guiding your resident through your post-ops to meet the angry blue irises of your best friend. “Look me in the face y/n y/l/n and tell me you are not in love with Mark Sloan!” 

  “Why does it matter?!” You cried angrily, gripping his wrist and pulling him into the nearest on-call room. Derek simply leaned back against the door and prepared himself for one of your very rare angry rants about life and existence and how sometimes things weren’t fair, but that was how it goes. “Mark has slept with Addison, and Julia, and Lexie, and Callie, and Teddy… I’m not just someones prize to be won, Derek. I’m not a toy, and I’m surely not about to give my heart to a man who has-” 

  “No idea where his worth is?” Derek said quietly, to which you found yourself slack jawed. “Mark never had a father to teach him this stuff, y/n. He doesn’t know what love is because he’s never really experienced it. Do you know what I see when he’s around you?” You lightly shook your head and waited for him to continue. “I see a love struck man who would move heaven and earth and everything beyond in order to win favor with the girl he loves. I see a man who looks at you and says, ‘My God, there’s a woman who will love me despite my flaws and imperfections. There is a real woman who will love me for who I am.” 

  “W-What does Mark see when he looks at me?” 

Derek sighed deeply and tilted his head to the right, cerulean irises glowing in the sunlight that was filtering through the blinds on the windows. “Mark looks at you like you’re his ocean.. and he’s begging to drown.”

When I awoke dear

I was mistaken

So I bowed my head and I cried

Four days. 

You stayed awake for nearly four days, eyes vacant and emotionless as you continued repeating the lyrics to You Are My Sunshine. Part of you had believed at one point that it was the only thing currently keeping Mark alive - hearing your voice. You were so dehydrated and so exhausted that it was more of a mantra then a song, but he seemed completely content with it. 

Your only link to the real world was his fingers dancing along the cracked skin of your knuckles. The blues of his eyes when the sun would rise high enough to see them. He was watching you - just as he always was. You counted it an accomplishment that he could even keep his eyes open at all. 

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine

You make me happy

When skies are grey 

The remaining six of you were rescued and transported to Boise. The doctors had diagnosed that the crash had taken the remainder of the hearing you’d lost in your left ear, partially due to the shooting over a year before. You allowed your body to relax for the first time in what felt like an eternity, eyes cast towards the ceiling as the sedation took you into a deep sleep. Your first restful sleep in over a week.

When you woke up, you were inside Seattle Grace and staring into the eyes of Owen Hunt. 

  “Y/n.. before you speak, I need you to listen to me very carefully.” The redhead urged softly. “You’ve been asleep for almost forty eight hours, but you’re still severely dehydrated and still malnourished. You’re getting your fluids through your IV, but I need you not to move too quickly or you could risk passing out. Okay?” You swallowed thickly and glanced around the room. Where was Mark? “They told me you were going to ask about Mark.” 

You immediately assumed the worst as his tone fell, and Owen noticed you reaction the second a weak sob broke past your lips. 

You’ll never know dear

How much I love you 

Please don’t take my sunshine away

  “No, no! Mark is fine.. He’s coming out of his sedation now too. If you want… I can have some room cleared for your beds to be in the same area.” His grin widened as your eyes lit up, nodding quickly enough to convey your confirmation and joy over being able to be near a conscious Mark Sloan for the first time in a week. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.” 

You waited in anticipation for Owens arrival, soon finding yourself being wheeled down the hall to Marks room. Fingers loosely clasped together, you allowed one of the interns to redo your braid as Owen and Alex maneuvered you through the main door of Marks room. “There she is-” A familiar voice rasped. “There’s my favorite girl.” 

Your eyes snapped upward and met the striking blues of the man you loved so deeply. 

The next few days were the happiest you’d been in years. Mark didn’t fail to make you feel as if you were the most priceless human being to exist, listening to your stories about your experiences together in med school, listening to him talk about all he’d learned since the day he’d arrived in Seattle. 

But what he really wanted to tell you came the night before he slipped back into the coma. 

I’ve always loved you 

And made you happy

And nothing else could come between

  “I’m sure you’ve figured out by now,” Mark whispered. It was nearly midnight and most of the staff had gone home, albeit the on-call residents and attendings which left you and Mark to the silence in your conjoined room. “It’s been a long time coming for me to say this, but there hasn’t been a day that’s gone by where I didn’t love you more then I was capable.” 

  ‘But what about-” 

  “All the other women?” He laughed bitterly under his breath and lightly shook his head as his arms tightened around you. “I didn’t know how to begin to tell you how I felt.. because you’re the only woman who’s ever been interested in me that didn’t want me for just sex and y/n.. it’s the first time I’ve ever felt truly worthy to be in a committed relationship, and I was freaking terrified of falling in love with you because of it. You.. you are someone who deserves more then this man whore. Someone who deserves a pure and honest man- Someone who hasn’t been trampled and broken to pieces.” 

You stopped his sentence short by gripping his chin with your thumb and index finger, lips just inches away from your own as you brought yourself to your knees. “No woman can have a perfect man. I didn’t. I still don’t.” You whispered. “For years, I’ve wanted all of you. The man who walks into this hospital every morning- but with battle scars and insecurities revealed underneath that thick coat of armor you call charm. I didn’t want the Mark Sloan that everyone else sees because a part of me has always known that you crave something more then just the physical intimacy. You crave a home for your aching heart, and I’m telling you that right here, in this moment in our own corner of this hospital where people can heal.. that I want to be your home.”  

Mark cut your speech short by capturing your lips in his own.

  “I love you.” 

  “I love you too.”

But now you’ve left me

To love another

You have shattered all of my dreams

Time was never on your side. 

A week passed, followed by a few more, and finally it had been a month. Thirty days. Thirty freaking days since he had slipped into sleep and never woke up. Derek had found you that morning his directive was to be put in place crying into the mattress, a broken side table in shambles beside the door and your knuckles throbbing from where you’d continuously pounded your hands into the wall. 

It shouldn’t have ever been him. 

You are my sunshine

My only sunshine 

You make me happy when skies are grey

You couldn’t bring yourself to leave his bed. Not when Derek decided to go for his first solo surgery since the crash, not when Meredith had booked it for the airport and left you alone, not when the other fellows and attendings had gathered outside of Marks room. 

It had been an hour since he’d been extubated. Now you were just waiting for the dreaded monotone flatline that would tell you that his heart had stopped beating. That his heart was no longer keeping him alive. 

  “Mark-” You blubbered, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand as you cradled his limp hand against your cheek. “I know I didn’t say it sooner, and I’m so sorry for not telling you how much you meant to me. I.. I have loved you and will never stop loving you. Meeting you.. this incredible, compassion driven, man with a golden heart was the greatest gift a girl like myself could receive. I’m sorry I allowed fear to rule how I felt for you.. and I’m sorry we never got to have our forever.” 

You’ll never know dear

How much I love you

The only sound in that wing of the hospital was the heart broken screams of Mark Sloans name as you collapsed in Derek Shepherds arms, eyes cast on the steady line now running across the monitor. Here you were.. in this world living the life he would’ve thrived in; and the love of your life was waiting for you patiently on the other side. 

Please don’t take my sunshine away

  “I can’t br-eathe-e,” You rasped, chest constricting as you fumbled for a hold on Dereks lab coat. Your other partner in crime pulled you into a warm embrace against his chest, his own tears barely held at a bay as he gently swayed from side to side. 

  “Remember that even if you’re not with the ocean, your ocean still lives on right here.” Derek whispered as he flashed a weak smile, his large hand poised directly over your heart. “Take pleasure in drowning in the forever you had together.” 

So that night, you sat quietly on your bed and ventured through your favorite book of all; a photo album.

A Story of a Love That Almost Was & A Relationship That Always Will Be

Reaching into the pocket of your coat, you pulled out the most recent picture and note and gently slid it into the plastic sheet on the very last page. The two of you had taken it on the plane just as you’d boarded under Marks insistence that your upcoming surgery be photographed as it was one to remember.

The note was nearly twelve pages long and contained the words of a story; one Mark had taken careful time to formulate when you were being taken for tests on your ears and other injuries from the crash. He wanted you to live on without him knowing that deep down you’d always be his.. and he’d always be yours, but that it was alright to move on from him.

That it was alright to live.

And with a watery smile, you took a black Sharpie and wrote the words The End in large print at the bottom of the page.  

[gwenore]

Dominion. Chapter 1.

Summary: Belle is working as a nurse at Storybrooke hospital. Some time ago they got in a John Doe in a catatonic state. Belle knows at once something is off as though he doesn’t speak or react to pain he doesn’t seem catatonic, following her with his eyes and listening to her every words.  The only possession he has on him is a picture of a boy about fourteen years old.  One evening she is reading to her charge and the skies turn blood red and the light goes out at the hospital as all hell beaks loose in the small town. 

Note: I got the idea while I was getting a new medicine for my arthritis at the hospital through an IV (nothing to worry about). Being stuck with this wire for a couple of hours I thought about how creepy hospitals could be and that it would be fun to write a story with Belle as a nurse... so... this happened.  Hope you enjoy. 

“Hello, it is a nice day out today,” Belle said with a smile towards the man sitting upright in his bed. She had worked in the Storybrooke hospital as a nurse for a couple of years now, a very small and quiet place, one that had very few patients to take care off… at least not too many staying more than a couple of nights for observations.

But for a couple of weeks Belle had been in charge of a male patient with no name with a rather… different. He was in a permanent catatonic state… well that was what Dr. Whale said, though in her time working here she had little confidence in that drunk’s medical knowledge.

Belle wasn’t sure this was true. It just didn’t feel… right.

She could feel him following him with his dark eyes, and he was listening to her. He was almost… trapped. She also felt he was distrusting and… terrified. Something terrible must have happened, but so far he had not spoken a single word.

What worried her was that he had not responded to pain, leading Dr. Whale to declare him catatonic. Even as she changed his IV drip he did not even flinch or tense… even if he was watching every thing she did.

This John Doe had been picked up by deputy Swan and sheriff Humbert, wandering around the edge of town… dressed in a surprisingly well made suit, clearly expensive and of high quality… nor was it even dirty. He had been brought in to Storybrooke hospital and after being checked for injury. Belle was one of the nurses who had the most to do with care of him.

He had still clutched the image and his grip had been such that any attempt of removing it was nearly risking breaking his fingers. It was only after Belle had coaxed him for hours he finally released it, but she took great care to keep it close to him, even buying a small frame on her way to work the very next morning allowing it to be placed on his nightstand. Belle knew that every time no one else where in that room his eyes never left that image as she had often watched him from the door.

John Doe was in his fifties, or so Belle guessed, on the shorter side with a hooked nose and dark eyes, with half long graying hair.

The man had no identification on him… no wallet… no phone… in fact he had nothing on him other than a picture of a boy about fourteen years of age which he clutched in his hand. He desperately held onto it… refusing to be parted from it.

He also showed no sign of injury… there was absolutely no reason for this man to be looking like he was.

According to Emma… whom Belle knew… a bit at least as they had talked some times at Granny’s diner said they had searched for missing persons matching his description, but there was no missing persons from Storybrooke… and no one matching John Doe’s description in the area surrounding the small town. They were even going through the missing persons from Boston, but as there was no sign of John Doe having a car… nor had they found an unknown vehicle which might have belonged to him.

Emma had sighed and then stated that it was like the man had appeared out of nowhere.

Belle looked at him as she was checking his vitals.

Surely… no one could appear out of nowhere right?

“Don’t worry… we will get you better soon…” she reached out her hand to move a couple of stray strands of hair which had gotten in his face. His eyes looked into hers and she could swear that he was pleading with her to help him, but he wasn’t able to tell her.

“I just… I just wish you could tell me what happened to you…” she whispered. A loud gasp passed her lips as the man grabbed her hand, looking up at her, his breathing labored… wishing to speak so clearly, yet he wasn’t even able to open his mouth as if his jaw was frozen shut.

The grip was intense, and she could feel him trembling.

“What is it?” she asked, holding her hand over his own. “Please… tell me. I want to help you.”

His eyes rolled back before his head fell back into the pillow, his hand releasing her, the hand falling down. Belle stepped closer to him, feeling his forehead. He was burning and sweating bullets.

She bit her lip, there was nothing she could do for the fever, but though his vitals had spiked they were now dropping down to normal. Deciding she would monitor his temperature through the day and also take care to up his fluids should this be needed.

Belle did not want to leave him… he obviously was in distress, but she had work which needed to be completed… but she would be back as soon as she could she would return to check on him.

Slowly her fingers stroked over his cheek, looking deeply into his dark eyes.

“I have to leave…” she whispered softly to him. “I will be back soon… alright? Just… just hang in there…”

Belle swallowed nervously as she finally removed herself, wandering towards the door she looked towards him once again, but now his eyes had turned towards the picture. Gently she opened the door and exited into the hallway.

  Days passed like that, but John Doe showed now improvement to get out of his catatonic state. Belle had talked about him with some of the other nurses. No one had reported anything strange, except for the state of his medical condition and how he came to be there.

Apparently he had not reacted to any of them…

This day Belle had the nightshift. A painfully slow twelve hours before she headed home at 6 am. She did not really mind. Most of the time she would spend reading of do various things around the hospital… it was rare that she or the other nurses on guard was called by any of the patients.

With book in hand she took her book in hand she found herself wandering towards John Doe’s room.

Perhaps he was sleeping… it was already quite late, but then again… she didn’t think that she had ever seen him sleep.

Softly she wandered inside and sure enough she was met by those dark vigilant eyes.

“Hi… it is me. Do you… do you want me to leave?” she asked him. He made no moment, but he seemed more at ease now that she was there with him.

“Alright… I will stay here for a while then,” she smiled before she wandered over, sitting himself on a chair next to his bed. Picking up her book she showed it to him.

“It is called ‘Her handsome hero’ a silly story I know… but it has always meant a lot to me… do you… do you want me to read to you?” she asked. She had not expected an answer, but he managed to make the slightest of nod, his eyes softly resting upon her.

“Alright then, hopefully it will not bore you…” she smiled as she opened her book and started to read the words she knew so well since childhood, the man without a name nor voice listening to her… his breathing for the first time easy and relaxed.

As Belle reached the third chapter, it was already time for the end of her shift and the sun was expected to rise at any moment. Slowly she closed the book, looking towards her charge and expecting him to be asleep, but he was still looking at her, seemingly understanding that she was going to leave, but those eyes were pleading with her to stay.

“I am sorry… but I will be back tonight… and unless something happens… which around here it almost never does, I can read some more if you want,” she told his. Honestly it broke her heart having to leave him.

He was utterly alone… unable to tell anyone who he was or where he belonged. His eyes looked down… a bit of a defeated look on his face, but seemingly accepted what had to be done.

Belle sat there for some time, before reaching out to stroke his cheek.

“Don’t worry,” she whispered to him, as she had done so many times before. “We will get you better.”

Glancing up her eyes furrowed. Outside the window there was a strange light… John Doe’s eyes followed hers and he startled, seemingly trying to crawl out of the bed… moving more than he had done in his time at the hospital.

With hesitant steps she wandered over to the window and peaked out the window and she was filled with dread.

The sky outside had turned blood red. Not like a sunrise… a deep dark blood red, nearly leaving the town in complete darkness except for the slight red light.

“What is…” she muttered, and she nearly screamed as someone grabbed her hand and covered her mouth. Looking over she saw it was her patient, having within seconds ripped off his IVs and was now pulling her down behind the bed and hushed her.

She was about to ask him what the hell was going on, but in the same moment all the lights in the hallway shut off followed by horrid shrieks and… Belle had to cover her ears as the maddening sounds she heard coming from the hallway, enough to bring tears to her eyes.

The unknown man’s mouth then opened showing rows upon rows of lethal teeth, his forced grin so wide it looked near agonizing, as a forked tongue slid out.

“I am sorry…”