#sigh. one day she'll fly too close to the sun and she will learn from experience just as i have

[aropride]

i will never ever understand people who try to get a tan on purpose like as a hobby like i just do not get it

[desiresign]

the fairy approaches god

a fanfiction about eternity larva and yuuka having a little chat. read on AO3 here. read below the cut for the fic!

It was a warm, sunny day in the Garden of the Sun, and with it, came the flittering of fairies playing about.

With the amount of life that seeped into every inch of the vast garden of flowers, it was no surprise the place was usually packed with fairies. All had learned by now to go gently between the flowers, careful not to snap a single stem, or tear a single petal. It seemed the universal language of fairies was childish giggles, from the amount they filled the air alongside decorative danmaku and bubbles. Laughing among themselves seemed like the only thing the youngest fairies did, as they joined their tiny hands and spread their iridescent wings to zip around together.

In all honesty, it was something Yuuka Kazami could hardly find any relating to, though keeping an eye on their antics was an amusing pastime. Akin to bird watching, she thought, and considering the childlike behavior and intelligence of fairies, she supposed it wasn't much more mentally invigorating as watching unaware beasts anyways.

Today, it seemed some of the older, comparatively grown-up fairies were huddled around one area of Yuuka's garden to the west, where they dove in and out of her view into the sunflower patches. She could just make out the colors of the blue fairy, one who she had personally encountered during an incident years ago, and stifled a sigh. That little brat could lose her temper while playing with her friends quite easily, being so simple to be baited into showing off her ice powers with little hesitation. If she had even a millimeter of frost upon a single petal, Yuuka would know instantly. The garden's lifeforce started and rooted with her, and as the sun warmed her body and refreshed her, she could feel almost every tickle of wind against the millions of petals. Far more than knowing her special connection to her flowers, the fairies knew how Yuuka could get when she was pissed off.

In the midst of her observations, a series of quick tugs at the end of Yuuka's dress interrupted her thoughts. Sharply looking down to her side with a glare, her gaze softened as she saw it was just a fairy. One of the bigger ones too, the one with the side ponytail and beetle wings whose name escaped her.

"Miss Yuuka?" the fairy asked timidly. "Can you help us with something?"

Yuuka attempted to look welcoming by putting on a slight smile, though the fairy's body language immediately became more nervous. "Um, we need your help getting our friend out from your plants, she won't move!" The poor thing sounded in distress.

With a snap of her parasol being closed, Yuuka chose to indulge the fairy in her assistance. "Alright," she said, taking off flying behind the fairy. "I don't want any of you hurting any of the flowers by trying to mess with your friend."

Sure enough, nestled between a particular spot of sunflowers, were the other big fairies that Yuuka had caught glimpses of before, each of them standing about with particularly concerned expressions. Laying on a patch of leaves with a cocoon-shaped bundle, the size just larger than the tallest fairy.

"It's Eternity Larva!" the blue fairy, Cirno, spoke up, anxiously rubbing at her arms. Her sharp icicle wings were jutting outwards from her in worry. "She said she was tired and wanted to take a nap, and now she won't wake up!"

"We weren't even playing for long..." another, Sunny Milk mumbled. "It makes no sense she got tired." As if to illustrate what Cirno said, the fairy stepped a foot down to nudge on what seemed to be Eternity's abdomen from where it was wrapped in the cocoon. "She's sleeping like a log!"

After watching this display bear no fruit for a few moments, Yuuka exhaled out of her nose. "Well," she said. "Not waking up isn't a big deal. She'll be back by tomorrow."

Cirno seemed to gape in offense. "Larva isn't dead!" she cried out. "I know it, why don't I just toss her around a bit? I'll show you!"

Before anyone could offer any protest, Cirno zipped over to the cocoon and shook it like mad, rolling it over at points. Yuuka's eyebrows raised in both confusion and amusement, and then shock as an exhausted-sounding mutter arose from the wrapped fairy.

Sure enough, poking her head out with a yawn, was Eternity Larva herself. Her eyes were bleary with sleep, and her leaf-tousled bedhead looked worse for wear. "Cirno...?" Eternity asked, interrupting herself with yet another yawn. Sitting up, she shed the leaf-wrapped cocoon, and stared blankly at those surrounding her. "Whaddya wake me up for?"

"You dummy!" Cirno said, tackling Eternity with a hug. "You fell asleep in the middle of our game again. And you wouldn't even wake up!"

Eternity shook her head and stretched before standing up, the sleepiness seeming to melt off of her body. Curiously, Yuuka noticed, as the butterfly fairy woke up, several actual butterflies suddenly joined the scene, flitting around her and quickly finding plenty of room on the various surrounding sunflowers. The other fairies gathered around Eternity as she stretched again, shaking out her wings.

"Well," she said, "I'm full of energy now! Let's go!"

Just as the group was about to take off, Yuuka grabbed a hold of Eternity's dress, preventing her from making any movement. Eternity flinched, the grip of the flower youkai stronger than it looked. "Actually, Eternity," the flower youkai said. "Can you stay with me for a moment? I would like to talk to you."

Nervously looking back at her friends, Eternity began to hesitate, before waving off for the other fairies to go on ahead. "What...what is it, Miss Yuuka?" A butterfly landed on her hair, twitching its proboscis.

"Since when do you have butterfly friends alongside you?" Yuuka asked, voice so calm it frightened the fairy. "I don't recall you ever having them follow you like that before."

"Oh...I dunno," Eternity said. "Ever since I started sleeping a lot, they're always there when I wake up."

"Sleeping a lot, huh?" Yuuka said, resting her chin on her parasol. "Come here."

With great reluctance, Eternity stepped closer to Yuuka. She examined the fairy's body, gently brushing past her wings, ruffling the leaves out of her hair, lightly prodding her osmeterium. (A foul smell soon followed, along with Eternity's fervent apologies.) The entire time, Eternity was rigid and still, frozen in place.

"Your power is growing," Yuuka said at last. "Your body is trying to compensate for it by having you rest to store up your power."

"That...that's it?" Eternity nervously said. Then, she huffed, a proud look on her face. "That's not so bad." She fluttered her wings, almost as if she were going to take off again.

"No. If you grow too powerful, you could grow beyond your connection to your nature," Yuuka said ominously. "You could grow beyond a fairy."

Eternity was silent for a moment, before looking upset. "I don't waaanna not be a fairy!" she exclaimed. Her face twisted in anger for a moment, a short burst of emotion unlike Yuuka had seen most fairies before. "Besides, what do you know?”

Yuuka hummed, a dark look coming across her face. "The years I've been alive, I've seen many things. I know firsthand about growing beyond one's element." The flower youkai paused, realizing thorny vines were creeping up on the ground just near her and Eternity's feet. Inhaling and closing her eyes for a brief moment, she calmed herself. "Why wouldn't you want to grow up? To be more than an unremarkable weak thing?"

Eternity looked scared, eyes wide and eyebrows narrowed in concern. It looked like she was thinking very hard. "I want to keep playing," she said at last. "I want to keep enjoying life in the sunshine with my friends!" Her shoulders slumped down. "Cirno told me that...this powerful lady hates me. That I'm her enemy. And I don't even know her!"

Eternity continued on. "I remember the days when this has happened before...when I was sleepy, when everyone flocked towards me, when everyone made me feel better than I have before... It must have happened many lifetimes ago! But I was still myself! And I don't want to be anyone else!" She looked up at Yuuka, a confident look in her eyes. "I want to stay valued by my friends. I want to stay!"

Yuuka was quiet. She snapped open her parasol, holding it behind her to absorb the sun's rays. "Interesting," she said. "You have a lot to consider as valuable to your enjoyment of life, don't you, little one?"

"Uhhh, yeah," Eternity replied with confusion.

"Long, long ago, thousands of years ago, I was born into existence as a flower youkai. I wasn't always that way, and wasn't always that strong. I, too, used to enjoy life in the sunshine." A couple of clovers and wildflowers bloomed at Yuuka's feet. "Believe it or not, I have frolicked in the same fields as you do."

"Were you..." Eternity Larva's wings started flapping slowly. Yuuka looked down at her. Eternity smiled. "I think I get it."

"Do you?"

"I-I thiiiink so?" Sure enough, that clumsy personality was back. "I want to stay as a fairy for now. Maybe one day I'll get strong...but for now, I wanna stay!"

A slight smile dashed across Yuuka's face. "Run along, then. Don't keep your friends waiting."

With a nod and no hesitation, Eternity turned around to fly off into the distant field. She approached her friends quickly and with no qualms. They embraced Eternity and welcomed her back with open arms, excitedly informing her of what their plans for playing and pranks were for the rest of the day. Laughs and giggles filled the air again, glittering wings buzzing and colorful dresses flowing in the wind.

[corruptratcat]

MILGRAM x gn!reader HCS || MILGRAM characters as halloween creatures

Happy Halloween everyone! Took me a while to write this but here it is !!

ES - ZOMBIE

The undead Es somehow found their way to befriend you, even if you were scared of them, they kept calm as you soon realize, hey this zombie ain't that bad

They're slow so you would carry them around most of the time, it's better getting around places by doing this instead of making Es slowly walk

You'll try to make some thing just to cover them from the sun, their ultimate enemy, an umbrella or very protective clothing

Es can't really use their mouth and kiss you and all, who knows they could bite you cause of it so you mostly do those things instead of them

----

HAKURA SAKURAI - GHOST

The very lonely ghost you found, wants to be your friend? Well why not! Although Haruka would unintentionally scare you everytime, he'd always say sorry when that happens

But you don't mind as this ghost starts to get closer to you, the sudden appearances of him doesn't scare you no more

Haruka's actually scared of ghosts believe it or not, even if he's one himself so he'll usually try to hide behind you though sometimes you feel his ghostly arm through you giving you goosebumps 

Trying to hug him or kiss him would end up in a weird feeling to you but you still felt the warmth of it and Haruka's atleast happy to feel some warmth too

-----

YUNO KASHIKI - FAIRY

Yuno's a really pretty fairy you thought to yourself, she's a friendly one who you like to hang out with from time to time.

She'll always have something to show you giving you the opportunity to fly around with her, although you get scared when flying since you're depending your life on Yuno it's quite fun in all honesty.

There's always this comforting feeling around her, to explore the wonderful wonders of a beautiful and enchanted forest with Yuno.

Dates with Yuno always seem magically beautiful, maybe because of the surroundings or her in general, actually both.

-----

FUUTA KAJIYAMA - DEMON

You didn't know you'd actually get along with Fuuta in the first place, he seemed to much for you but playing some games with him and having fun in general brought you closer to him.

Though maybe the fires surrounding you was a bit too much but don't worry, Fuuta will find a way to keep you comfortable here.

Fire always seems to be forming around him with his angry attitude, it can't be ignored but he does start to cool down just for you.

If you get him really flustered he'll hide in his wings, he seems to be on fire at the moment as his tail starts to wiggle a bit, ahh, did you really had to do that to him?

-----

MUU KUSUNOKI - WITCH

She seems like a shy witch at first because she did struggle a bit trying to talk to you but you decided to help her with that and talk to her more.

When you two are comfortable with each other checking out her brewing area and seeing expensive equipment and it all being fancy and stuff probably let you at shock for a bit.

She would let you in a broom ride, but it feels though she's struggling a bit bringing in some moments where you felt like you were going to die but don't worry Mu will find a way, hopefully.

Maybe if it was the right time, Mu would confess that she may have used a love potion on you just for you to fall for her, heh.

-----

SHIDOU KIRISAKI - GRIM REAPER

You're familiar with Shidou being the local doctor but now that you know he's actually the grim reaper? You were speechless, rightfully so.

I mean I suppose as you got closer you learned about the truth and Shidou does sound disappointed cause of his job but you always try and cheer him up, it isn't his fault he has to reap the dead.

You'd sometimes watch him reap souls and all of that, bringing them to the dead and all, it's quite sad to see people die but you can't deny it is life

Shidou seems to be worried about the day you die but you hold him close saying "That's why we cherish these moments together, right?" Shidou calms down a bit and nods with a sigh

-----

MAHIRU SHIINA - MERMAID

You've only spot her one time on the beach as you were hanging around until you see a half-fish lady, wait what? Well she also spots you and starts to talk to you, a lot.

She always tries to find something fun to do at the beach with you when she has the chance, of course she needs to do that, helping you swim around, volleyball all that good stuff.

She'll try to teach you how to swim since she really can't drag you around the ocean, can she? Well maybe some scuba diving equipment can help as you both venture into the ocean

She'll be singing songs as you rest your head on her lap, her voice is naturally beautiful being a mermaid and it gives off an affect to, it's just very special.

-----

KAZUI MUKUHARA - FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER

Platonic !

You're intimidated by this, huge monster, what are you even supposed to do but Kazui easily calms you down and all.

He's honestly just a chill old monster man, a good friend but perhaps tune down the dad jokes? If you need help he's always the one who you can rely on.

He doesn't mind carrying you around, he can easily do that with one arm and walk around in places, just having fun and spending some time together

-----

AMANE MOMOSE - ANGEL

Platonic !

An angel coming from above to greet you, she's your assigned guardian angel and will now give you blessings! Isn't that wonderful?

She'll always be teaching you a lesson or so, she just randomly appears in a way of descending with stage lights is what you can describe but you don't mind and make these interactions be opportunities to hang out with her

She always wants to be the ideal role model for you even if she fails she just wants you to be a wonderful citizen to this world we live in after all, she's just doing her job, that's all!

-----

MIKOTO KAYANO - VAMPIRE

You'd get scared when meeting him but he'll try to calm you down and all, he's just a fella who appears to be a vampire, don't worry he means no harm!

He does get lonely after all these years so he's happy just to even have you here, he seems to be calm and friendly but on the inside he's very delighted to make a new friend!

Mikoto doesn't mind if you wanna do fun stuff with him, like trying to catch his bat form, playing around in the mirror and all that stuff.

Mikoto would bring up something about turning you into a vampire, so that he isn't that alone in this immortal life and he can love you forever and ever.

-----

KOTOKO YUZURIHA - WEREWOLF

Kotoko always hangs out with a pack of wolves as you, perhaps got lost in the forest and found them there making you meet her as you decided to intentionally get lost just to meet her again.

She'll keep you safe from the pack and will try everything just to not make them attack you and all, at the same time control herself not to do the same to you.

You two like to hang around a cliff watching the moon and the stars, just peace and quiet but when it's full moon is where she'll usually ask to stay back just in case.

She gives the warmest cuddles of the century, it feels all so nice and warm, you feel like never letting go and just staying there in that position. Forever.

[sylverstorms]

Cassandra x Maiden ----Anonymity Ch. 11 (NSFW) (END)

Ch.1 Ch2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8 Ch.9 Ch.10

If you are curious to know what my version of Alexia looks like, check here

All maids are dismissed from dinner at night.

The doors are kept sealed shut. It is clear whatever the Dimitrescus are discussing is not for ears outside of their family's to overhear.

You are thankful for the windows you have to focus on repairing while they talk. It keeps you from overthinking and that keeps you sane.

Once everything is fixed, the only physical sign of the nightmarish day you had is Cassandra's sickle, still embedded within what is no doubt a priceless painting.

You approach slowly, as though the weapon has a will of its own and can turn right around to finish the job of gutting you. Your fingers close around the leather handle. The first pull does nothing. The blade is so firmly lodged it won't budge an inch.

But you are nothing if not determined.

That is what you busy yourself with until you see a familiar fly come to land on your shoulder. It doesn't cut at your flesh, but it does bite and tug on your shirt. You understand the silent command to follow.

The insect leads you to the dining room. The table is cleaned, but the daughters are all still there, talking in hushed tones among themselves, poker faces adorning their expressions.

Three sets of yellowish eyes immediately fall to the sickle in your hand. Bela raises an amused eyebrow. The redhead whistles. "That looks sexy on you~"

"Can't imagine it would look as good in me." You give Cassandra a pointed look as you pull the chair beside her, but she only shrugs and leans back, motioning for you to hand it over.

"No... did you throw it at her?" Daniela guffaws. "And you missed?"

A sour grimace comes from the brunette. "I wasn't trying that hard..."

"What if I hadn't dodged?" you ask.

"...well. It's good that you did." Cassandra looks down at her manicured nails, as apologetic as she'll let herself be in front of her sisters.

"Do I want to know what was hit instead of Alexia?" Bela carefully asks.

"You really don't." Cassandra shakes her head and they leave it at that for both their sake.

"So." Bela speaks up after a brief moment of silence. "After our discussion with mother, we are to inform you that you're free to come and go from the castle as you please. Cassandra's key is as much hers as it is yours, now. But. Should any other maid escape using it or learn of our weakness, we'll have to do something nobody here wants."

"We'll have to brutally murder you to make an example. And whoever knows." Daniela cuts in and Cassandra gives her a glare. You aren’t looking forward to learning what their interpretation of the word ‘brutal’ is like.

"Yeah I... I could have guessed that." you reply.

"But I'm sure you're smart enough to not let that happen." Bela states. "This settles everything, I think."

"Not everything." Cassandra retorts, a shadow around her eyes.

"Cassandra, drop it. You heard what mother said." The blonde's tone grows harsh.

"What did she say, other than what we already knew?" comes the sharp bite back. "Why is she so vague every time one of us asks how we came to be?"

"I'm sure she has a good reason. What does it even matter about before?"

"Because I'm sick of having nightmares about people I don't remember!" Cassandra slams her hands onto the table. Both you and Daniela flinch back a bit.

You could have already guessed Alcina is not their biological mother. But a lot of puzzle pieces fall into place before your eyes now. And this new picture you're starting to see of the Dimitrescu family isn't a pretty one at all.

The tension between the two siblings is enough to electrify the air around the table.

"Did you ever consider it's probably for the best that you never do remember them?" Bela asks, her irritation ice-cold as opposed to Cassandra's sizzling fire. "Maybe there's a reason nightmares are all that's left."

You can see your lover's jaw clench. Cassandra's fingers curl into white-knuckled fists as she sits back down. "Don't you get these flashes? These almost-memories?"

"No." Bela says as she stands to leave. "I don't get them. And even if I did, I don't much care for leftovers."

"Daniela?" Cassandra asks, turning to her younger sister.

"I uh... I gotta go do a... thing. Bye now!" The redhead disperses into a swarm right there, before any more can be said.

Cassandra huffs in an exasperated, 'of course' manner. Only the two of you are left in the gigantic room, but you're not sure if you should speak up. You're not exactly confident in your ability to comfort others, nor can you tell where she and you currently stand. It doesn't look like either of you has the energy for any type of loaded talk.

You need each other, that much is as certain as the sun’s rise and fall.

And that's enough, for now.

-

-

Within the next few days, Cassandra and you take your time gravitating back together.

You let the thought of her ripping you in half slowly bleed away and she probably does the same with the notion of you using her weakness against her.

It starts with little touches, on your shoulder or your hand, as you make plans to spend a night or two in your house at the village once the temperature allows it.

Then one evening she comes to your room complaining about Daniela just like the old times and it feels only natural to rub her back like you used to.

Cassandra leans into you like a purring cat.

"Oh, you're so warm..." she sighs, resting her head atop your shoulder.

Absent-mindedly, you bring your travelling fingers up to her nape, pressing at a tiny knot of tension there with your thumb. A little moan slips past her lips –you're aware of just how close to touching your neck they are– and it hits you straight in the gut. You've missed drawing these sounds out of her.

Cassandra shifts against you and every minuscule brush of her lithe form on yours brings sparks to life. Her finger reaches under your chin to tip it her way.

"If you want us to stop here I need to leave now." she speaks with that impatience in the edges of her voice you recognize well.

"What happens if you stay?" you ask. It's not just your body warming at the thought of keeping her close.

"Don't tempt me, Alexia." Her lower lip just barely traces yours as she says it. "I'm not good at resisting and you know it."

You know it. Maybe that's why you tempt her with another almost-kiss in the first place. You could never deny how badly you wanted her and that certainly hasn't changed.

Cassandra crashes your mouths together hungrily, like she's been left without it for too long and now she can't go another second without having you. Her leg crosses over yours to lift herself into straddling you, two strong thighs bracketing your hips tight.

She's trying, you can tell, to not tear both your clothes off and have what she craves hard and fast and right there.

You keep a smirk to yourself when you slip your tongue into her mouth and unhook the buttons of her outfit extra slow. Her nails press into your shoulders. You refuse to speed up.

"Can you go any faster?" she breathily pants once you trail your lips to her neck.

"I can." you say. And lightly bite her.

She's one step away from ripping your shirt off, you can tell from how her fingers curl on the fabric. So you make the smarter choice and distract her with another little bite where you know she likes it best, just underneath her ear, then guide her clothes off of her.

Cassandra pushes you back into the mattress and kisses you again while her cool hands make short work of your clothes. You let her grind her hips into you for some measure of relief as you continue to suck and nibble on her flushed, sensitive skin. Her hands find purchase on your sheets when she no longer trusts her control to have them on you.

"Will you touch me already?" she growls into your ear. You can feel how badly she needs it from the way she shakes on every caress near her center, but this is your payback for that sickle throw.

"I am." you give her a smirk, then lightly push a fingertip into tight, wet heat to cut off her response.

"Ah. I— fuck Alexia!" You've never heard her curse before. And you can't figure out why it's so sinfully hot. “Oh, yes, darling, there!”

As much as she deserves to be tormented for the fright she gave you, you can hardly contain your own lust when she's moving on top of you like this, calling you ‘darling’ and hers.

Both of you come undone not long after, gripping at each other, her soft cries of pleasure filling the room until she lowers her head over your heart, completely spent.

Your fingers gently comb through her wavy hair. For quite some time, Cassandra looks so relaxed you think she has fallen asleep on you.

Until she lifts her head up and nuzzles your jawline, in a way she probably knows kills you every time she does it. Her teeth trap your earlobe. That spells trouble even before she speaks up:

"You didn't think one round would do it, did you? After all, I have yet to pay you back for sneaking into my room and stealing my key, darling…"

Well.

It turns out you won a battle and started a war that lasts throughout the night. And it's only the first, you're sure, of many to come.

For once in your life, you can't wait for what's next.

[dspd]

ypu can thank @sokka-with-his-hair-down for the following word vomit with a lil jinzula content

just saw a jinzula reference and now I'm thinking about Azula being released from Fire Nation's version of a psych ward and going to get rehabilitated with Iroh in Ba Sing Se and Jin just being a cutie and helping the heck outta her until Azula is like...oh no I have feelings for a pleb what do I dooooo????

-----

okay so like...after the comet Azula's held in luxury as doctors try to help her. Zuko visits every day, staying as long as a young ruler can, only leaving on the bad days when she's starts to lose control, her guards handlers hurrying away when items go flying or her face twists in rage, screaming familiar insults fed by fear and the ghost of Ozai's upbringing. Eventually she regains some balance, Zuko's unwavering support and the calming repetition of her now hobby, tea making, the rocks that she clings to when she feels herself slipping. She quickly learns the palace holds too many triggers as she's allowed to venture beyond her suite, two guards following too close behind as she wanders the halls. She feels lost, more like an intruder in this remodeled building that somehow stills rakes her over and leaves her soul bleeding.

She walks past the pond Zuko and Mother loved and tears up when she sees the turtle ducks have returned. It's a tiny feeling but she can't control herself and turns away.

She wanders down a servant's corridor and remembers the one time she sat on Zuko, snapping sparks into his face and mocking him, repeating words Ozai had said to her, a raw, primal delightful power coursing through her, then a nugget of guilt growing when he begins to cry only to be crushed under defensiveness when Mother gathers him up, wiping his tears away...and ignores her again. She trembles and walks past quickly with a stiff legged gait, unwilling to run away yet unable to stay.

She tries not to think about whether the guards saw the tremor or whether she could look back and see contempt in their eyes.

She reaches the main doors to the Royal Hall and gasps when she remembers Mother's disappearance, Zuko's absence as he healed, then his banishment, all while Ozai tryna that gaze on her and built her up again, giving her more and more responsibility. She isn't sure if it's the remembered pride or the following memories of hiding in her bed and fear of failure that starts it but all of a sudden she's can't breathe and she's gasping, hanging onto the wall, trying to push it back, pull it inside and lock it away again and Zuko's pulling the door open, drawn by the shouting in that stupid, idiotic way of his instead of letting the guards handle it and he's pulling her in to a soft embrace that burns.

She's shuddering and sobbing and she knows it's bad because she can feel the rough fabric of Zuko's royal robes against her fingers as she clutches him, face pressed into his chest as she tries to cram her stupid, idiotic weakness into a tiny corner in the back of her head like Ozai taught her befits a royal. It doesn't work and she's overcome with the new crashing wave of frustration over her lack of control.

It's only when she feels the cool spread of that stupid bitch Katara's healing along her shoulders and neck that she manages to claw back into a semblance of who she needs to be. Those stupid hands with their stupid water bending pull her into the darkness of deep water, the overwhelming feelings floating on the surface she's sinking away from.

She's not deep enough, not numb enough, to miss the repulsive feeling when she finally looks at the guards and sees nothing but pity in the guards eyes.

So when Zuko, in that stupid, weak way of his, gently suggests she move away she's nauseatingly glad and shamefully hurt, little internal dragons that swoop and chase each other, nipping away until she's not sure of anything. She can hear him talking but it's a distant thing. She's too busy fighting the little voice in her head saying she's being abandoned again.

She wants to say it sounds like Father so she can dismiss it like she's been practicing, but it sounds too much like Mother.

Mother never lied so it must be true.

The move happens so fast that it feels like she blinks and she's standing at the entrance of Iroh's new home in the stupid city of lemming, Ba Sing Se. It’s cooler, She's kind of afraid in a new way. Mostly, she's tired.

So, so tired of being like this.

She's angry with herself next when Iroh gives her a critical glance and a tentative smile before taking her hands and welcoming her. She can't stop feeling things and even his words about starting over and reassures her that he's here for her and that he's sorry, that he feels like he abandoned her and he wants her to know that he never chose Zuko over her and he loves her very much...

That little voice changes into Zuko and Father and Ty Lee and Mai whispers to her and twists the meaning and she knows it's wrong but she's so tired of fighting it.

So she sighs and tries to smile and accepts his tea and hand holding and changes the subject.

When she finds out she'll be helping at his tea shop, she doesn't have the energy to be outraged that she, the stupid heir apparent of the Fire Nation, will be taking orders and delivering stupid, poorly brewed tea.

It's full and aggravating but she practices holding all that in. The nightmares slow, Zuko's letters reassure her, and she learns how to handle minor annoyances. She's mature enough to acknowledge she never learned how to handle them correctly the first time, something that makes her grin to herself in a moment of wry happiness. It's a bittersweet feeling and she's tired of feeling but still...it's new and exhilarating and she feels a bubble of hope in her chest.

In Ba Sing Se, she's nobody. It's oddly freeing to be Mr. Mushi's niece and her new name is nice in an unfamiliar way. She won't admit it but she likes the way the repeat customers act with her. They aren't afraid to joke with her or share a concern. A couple younger ones flirt with her and, as she peeks out from the bangs she's growing out, she's pleased it's friendly and without the teeth she came to expect from Father's generals who disagreed with her expanding military duties.

°°°

Early on, after moving in with Iroh, Azula was still prickly and unbalanced and bored out of her mind at the dull, repetitive lifestyle.

There's a quiet girl that comes in sometimes. She's soft-spoken, with a kind smile, but full of life at the same time. Azula remembers the first time she came in, greeting Iroh with a wide smile and talking to him like she's his niece, not Azula. Azula dismisses her with a sniff, turning to help another table but when Iroh sits down and shares a it with the girl, Azula can't help but sidle closer, ears straining to overhear. The girl - Jin, she later learns - had been a customer before when Iroh and Zuko had come to Ba Sing Se as refugees. No one can be so interested in her failure of an uncle so she grabs a broom and sweeps closer. When Jin asks after someone named Lee, Azula loses interest.

The girl is just another stupid commoner, obsessed with boys or whatever. Nothing interesting.

By Agni, she's so bored.

A few days later the girl returns, carrying a box filled with the local excuse of food and Azula buries her sneer of displeasure when Iroh pulls his apron off in a hurry, sliding into the booth, bald spot almost outshining like the girl's eyes.

Azula realizes she's been staring into the stupid girl's eyes and looks away. Her scowl grows as a stupid grandpa comes in with muddy shoes, ruining the floor she just finished cleaning. She stares at the tracks, hopelessness trapping her in place. The stupid grandpa doesn't even notice as he finds a seat and the hopelessness sours into bitterness.

Of course.

She's a failure, too.

A prickle between her shoulder blades warns he and she looks up. Right into Failure Iroh's stupid commoner girlfriend's gaze. They lock eyes and Azula struggles to hold it. Even if she can't be what Father raised her to be, she won't lose to this stupid smiley girl.

She can't stand it, that peculiar sensation of being watched, so she looks away. Failure Azula. Just like Iroh and Zuko and Mother. She glances back, bracing herself for the inevitable stupid judgemental look but the girl is smiling shyly at her and walking up, introducing herself and so friendly and stupidly nice. Azula's anger is simmering but she's confused and why would this girl be so nice to a stranger????

So, like her failures for family members, Azula flees.

It's not exactly an auspicious start, and Azula knows she's spiralling when she spends twenty minutes interrogating Iroh that night. What did her tell the stupid commoner? Did he ask her to approach? What does she want?

Iroh's calm at first but as Azula's voice rises and she pulls at her hair to feel something other than panic and keeps asking again and again his stupid face changes. She realizes with a start that he's seeing her for real. The rotten core of her that she's managed to hide away from even Zuko. The part of her that drove Mother away. It's written all over his stupid face.

Azula can't sit still anymore. She jumps up and is out the window in moments, shimmying down the wall and disappearing. She runs quietly, keeping to shadowy streets and inky black alleys. She's lost by the time the frenetic energy seeps out of her body, a stitch in her side forcing her to pause at a fountain for a stretch and drink.

Azula stretches out on the lip of the fountain, staring up at the stars. She used to hate the night sky. It's a visible, inevitable reminder of the Fire Nation's weakness. Her weakness. Every day, as the sun sinks below the horizon, Azula feels the fizzle of her bending wane, that hot space below and to the left of her heart cooling from hot, blue flames to red-orange fingers. It's barely more than embers in the Earth Kingdom as the days grow cooler and Azula's not sure how to feel about it.

There's a step across the courtyard and Azula's slipping down into the shadows again as two stupid lemmings approach. One is holding a torch while the other swings empty buckets. Azula frowns. Somehow the cheerfulness isn't as grading as usual. Their voices are soft in the quiet.

Azula closes her eyes and wonders if she'll ever feel half as content and comfortable as the air these two exude. There's the sound of splashes on the other side of the fountain.

One of the girls sighs. "I wish we could look at the lanterns tonight."

Only years of training lock Azula in place. It's Iroh's stupid commoner girlfriend.

The other girl laughs. "You know they're only lot for festivals, Jin."

"Except that one time," Iroh's stu- Jin replies, "I still can't believe Lee lit them."

Azula can almost smell the stupid happiness from the memory.

"Yeah, yeah. You have wierd luck with dates, I get it. Hurry up.and grab the other bucket! We still have to come back for more."

Based on the sounds, Azula can picture them struggling back the way they came.

Something makes her pause at the edge of the courtyard before leaving. She hesitates. But then she can hear the duo approaching again and she makes up her mind.

She pretends she doesn't stay long enough to hear the gasps of surprise before she hightails it out of there.

The feeling of elation that fills her chest and slides down her arms reminds her of the day she stood on the deck of a war balloon for the first time.

---

so...yeah...I wasn't planning any of this so idk where it goes but in the end Azula eventually has it bad and idk maybe Mai and Ty Lee come to visit, tentatively open to trying to be friends for real this time and, after seeing Azula's interest, Ty Lee wheedles Jin's story out of Iroh near the end of their visit. Mai's holding her face with an I can't believe this is happening expression, Iroh is concentrating too hard on his tea pot, and Azula's face is red as Ty Lee chokes out that of course Azula and Zuko would have the same taste in women.

And maybe the next day, when Jin slips her hand into Azula's while they wave goodbye, Azula looks at Jin who catches the look and smiles that smile she hated so much at first and Azula has the revelation of her life

[ohemgeeitscoley]

The love lasts so long (1/1)

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Rey/Ben Solo (Reylo)

Note: Written for the Reylo/Folklore Drabble Collection. I am in love with all of the songs on Folklore and have been super inspired to write by the album. I’m super happy I got to be a part of this collaboration and I can’t wait to see what everyone else puts together.

@andyouweremine​ is hands down one of the best betas and friends in the world. Thanks for jumping in and adding all of the commas for me. You’re the best and I love you a lot. 

Read below or on AO3

"You're home late," Rey mutters softly as she feels the bed shift under Ben's weight. She’s not quite awake; she couldn't open her eyes fully if she tried. 

"I know," Ben pulls her into his arms, pressing a kiss against the slope of her neck. "I tried to leave, I really did. There's just so much to do, and that promotion… Rey if I can get that promotion it'll be so good for us—”

Rey shakes her head, slowly moving away from Ben so she can sit up, glance at the clock, and look down at him. There's tears burning in her eyes and her stomach is in knots. 

She's angry. 

She's so, so angry.

"It's almost 3 am, Ben. You haven't been home before midnight in months. It's like living with a ghost." Rey bites down on her lower lip. "I don't want to hear about your job or a promotion. It's just another reminder that you'll somehow need to be there more than you already are and I'll just be here alone waiting for you."

Ben looks hurt for a moment. But then Rey watches as he controls his face, and then his face is the calm and cool mask that he used to never put on around her.

"I'm doing this for us," Ben says. There's no emotion or passion in his voice. It's the same voice she hears in the mornings before he goes to work when he’s practicing his arguments in the bathroom. It's calm and precise and meant for a courtroom. "For our future. I know I have been gone more than usual, but I hardly think it's fair to compare me to a ghost. Once I get the promotion things are going to be different, I'll be home more. We can really start planning the wedding—"

Rey snorts, getting out of bed. "Stop, Ben, just stop," Rey begs, wiping her hands against her face to push away the tears that have started falling. "That's what you said before you got promoted to senior associate. This is what I've been hearing for the last eighteen months. And you know what? Nothing has changed. Nothing is better. And I can't keep doing this."

Ben's face cracks, and Rey can see for a moment just how scared he is by what she's saying. He scrambles to get out of the bed, reaching his hand out to touch her. Rey steps out of his reach, shaking her head as she wraps her arms around her stomach. 

"What are you saying, Rey?" Ben asks, and his voice sounds defeated.  

"I don't, I don't know," Rey admits, staring at the ground. "It's late. I'm going to go sleep in the guest room. You should go to bed. You have court in the morning."

Rey waits just a moment for Ben to stop her, to pull her back into bed and his arms like he used to do when they fought, but Ben remains still on the bed. So she walks out of the room, closes the door and goes to the other room without pause.

A part of her still believes that Ben will come get her, that she'll wake up with him beside her at least. 

But she wakes up alone at 6:45 am and Ben is already gone. 

***

Rey finds Ben sitting on his favorite bench in the park down the street from their home. It's early. The sun is just starting to paint the sky as it begins to rise. 

They still haven't talked about the fight from the week before. If anything, Ben had been coming home even later and leaving even earlier since then. Rey wasn't even positive he came home at all some nights.

She'd slept in the guest room every night since anyway.

Rey sits down next to him, holding her hand out for him to take. 

He doesn't. 

"I've thought about what you said," Ben says after a few minutes, circling his thumbs while he talks. "And I think you're right, this isn't working anymore."

For a second Rey is filled with hope, believing that Ben finally sees how toxic his job is and that he's finally, finally going to quit, but then-

"I can move out, obviously. It'll be easier for me to find a new place, and the firm has places for witnesses that we fly in that I can stay at for a while."

Rey's heart plummets as she panics. He's breaking up with her. That's not what she wants. It's not what she meant when she said she couldn't do this anymore.

She's going to be sick.

"Ben, stop," Rey stands up, pacing in front of him as she tries to process what he's saying. "I don't, I don't want this. I love you. I didn't mean I couldn't do this." She moves her index finger back and forth between them. "I meant your job. Your job is ruining us."

"I can't leave my job, Rey," he sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I have nothing without my job."

"You have me."

"No, I don't." Ben shrugs, as if he's stating a common truth and not the biggest lie that he's ever said to her. "You're miserable at home. I'm never there and you're right, that's not something that's going to get better. I can't balance our relationship and my job, and it's hurting you. It has been hurting you. I already lost you, Rey. This is just me admitting it. And setting you free."

"I'm standing right here Ben," Rey points out, placing her hands on his shoulders. "You haven't lost me. I'm right here."

"For now, maybe," Ben keeps his head down and pulls away from Rey's touch. "But you're not sleeping in our room anymore Rey. You pulled away from us too. You have been for months. I think this is what you want, you're just too scared to admit it."

"No," Rey gets out between gritted teeth. "You do not get to do this. You do not get to sit there and attempt to blame this on me. I am not the one doing this. If you do this Ben, if you walk away from us, that is on you. It is not on me."

"You're the one—" Ben starts but Rey is hardly listening, shaking her head.

"No. No, I am not," Rey interrupts him. "Snoke is doing this. And you just are in denial if you can't see that, Ben. He has you so convinced that I'm a distraction or that you are, what, unworthy of my love?"

Rey waits, but Ben says nothing. He keeps his eyes glued to the floor and that just further fuels Rey's anger. The acid in her throat burns as he remains silent.

"Well, here's a secret," Rey sighs, reaching out to grab Ben's hand. "I've been in love with you since I was seven years old, Ben Solo. And if you think I'm just going to stop loving you because you are being an idiot and because you have let some asshole get into your head and convince you that you aren't worthy of that and that I am holding you back… you're just wrong."

Tears start to escape Rey's eyes when Ben looks up at her. His eyes are full of disbelief and it kills a part of her. The idea that somehow he could even begin to doubt how she feels about him, how much she needs him, after all of these years hurts her more than anything.

"There is nothing, nothing you can do, Ben, to change how I feel about you," Rey squeezes Ben's hand. "I love you today. I loved you yesterday. I'll love you tomorrow. I loved you when we were ten playing pirates in your tree house. I loved you when we were thirteen and you wore braids in your hair and you liked to first practice new braids on me. I loved you when you were haunted by the emptiness and ghosts in your home when we were sixteen. Ben, I have loved you my entire life and I'm not just going to stop."

"Rey," Ben chokes out and Rey realizes that he is crying too. "I can't give you the life you deserve and the only way I can is to keep this job that you hate—"

"Stop," Rey breathes, kneeling down until she is eye level with Ben. "I hate your job, Ben. I hate what it does to you. I hate that you have somehow convinced yourself that leaving me is the best option. That you have it on your head that a world without you is somehow better for me is something I can't understand. And you are good enough. My love isn't something that you can deserve, it's something that I chose to give and you don't have any say in that anymore, Ben. I don't care about your job, or the money, or whatever material things you buy me. I care about you. All I want is you."

Ben says nothing again. Rey's leg is cramping from the way she is squatting. The morning dew is shining on the grass underneath the bench Ben is sitting on. 

"So leave me. Keep working for Snoke and being miserable and working too late and waiting for your big break when you finally get everything you want," Rey drops his hand. "But I won't be there, Ben. If that's what you want, if that's what will make you happy… a future without me. Then okay. I can live with that," Rey's voice breaks and she reaches up to wipe the tears off her cheeks. "I'll learn to live with that. But you don't have to. You can take my hand and our love can last. Ben, our love can last so long."

Rey swallows while Ben remains quiet. She waits for him to say something, to say anything. She waits, and she waits, and she waits. It feels like her heart is actually splitting in half the longer that she waits and the longer Ben remains silent.

Choking back a sob, Rey nods to herself since Ben hasn't looked up from the ground since he told her it was over. 

Over. Over. Over. Over.

Rey takes a step back, her vision blurring as new tears flood to the service. 

"Okay," she whispers, taking another step away from him. "I love you. I hope, I hope some part of you always knows that. And I'll wait for you. I can't—" Rey takes a deep breath, trying to keep her voice steady. "I can't promise that I'll wait forever? But when you decide that enough is enough and you leave Snoke, because you will, Ben. You will leave one day. If maybe then you still think of me…"

Rey's sentence trails off while she looks up at the morning sky. "Right," she whispers, mostly to herself. And she turns. She turns away from Ben and begins to walk away and each step is harder than last. 

She's halfway through the park when she hears someone run up behind her. Then she feels his hand grab into hers as he turns her around to face him. 

"I'll quit," he says quietly and his voice is raw. His face is red and blotchy and he's still crying when he pulls her into his arms. Rey doesn't fight him, she buries her head into his chest and sobs. "On Monday, first thing. I'll quit."

Rey nods, wrapping her arms around his neck and tries to pull him closer to her.

"I have no idea how to fix this, babe," Ben whispers, pressing a faint kiss into her hair, his arms squeezing her tightly. "I don't know where to start, I'm so scared that I can't. That it's too late. That I've ruined us—"

"We'll figure it out together," Rey promises, kissing his shirt just above his heart.

"You really still believe our love can last?"

"So long," Rey answers. "Our love will last so long."