#sigh. going back to sleep knowing I've disappointed two people who i had plans with

[parakeetpark]

Am I sneezing because allergies or am I still ill? Am I coughing because asthma or am I still ill? Am I exhausted and falling asleep while getting ready because my health issues symptoms or is my body fighting illness? Puzzling

[ikeuverse]

MY WORLD — p.sunghoon

PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader  GENRES: angst, smut, fluff WC: 14.3k+

WARNINGS: alcohol consumption, swearing, unprotected sex (do it safely), cumming inside, arguing, Sunghoon is completely surrendered to yn. sorry, i can't see him if not cute in this story, this man needs to be taken care of. lmk if i forgot anything else.

SYNOPSIS: you're back and you owe Sunghoon an explanation for your departure, but it looks like it's going to be a bit tricky to get him to listen to you.

NOTES: after so many requests i've come up with the second part, and possibly the final one because i can't think of a continuation after that. it took me a long time because i had a huge blockage and i don't know if i'm satisfied with what came out of here, but i just wanted to give these two a cosy feel. and for you who read my work. i hope you like it!

TAGLIST: this isn't necessarily a taglist, but i decided to tag the people who asked for part two of the story, so… @seunghancore @sunghoonizz @indigoez @heestarry @yunjinhuhjennifer @pollito-sims4 @srhnyx @enhalusional @moon368 @madustos @capri-cuntz @stellanam @flaminghotyourmom @jayshadoww @sovlidago @randommmmmmvheusbs @rjssierjrie @rikiversesworld @lovingvoidgoatee

part 1 | masterlist

Avoiding work on Friday nights was one of the first things Sunghoon did after you left. He didn't want to deal with the fact that that particular day was when he found you sitting at one of the tables in his bar with Stella, waiting for his and Jay's shift to finish so you could all drink together.

Now nothing else made sense, and those nights were filled with his bed, a cosy blanket and your mind wandering back to the last night you and he spent together. Sunghoon could feel the touch of your fingers on his skin, the way his name was whispered by you. It felt like an endless melody. Sleeping next to him had a different meaning after so long friendship.

But then the bitter taste of disappointment invaded him with the same intensity. Less than twenty-four hours after you told him you were in love, Sunghoon read the worst letter he could have read in his entire life. He had always wanted to travel and get to know countries, but suddenly he had a grudge against Switzerland because he knew that's where you were apparently staying. Why so far away? Why did you have to go somewhere with no explanation? A letter wasn't enough because it only said what he already knew: it had all been your father's plan. Sunghoon knew how much he controlled your life, but the thought of him causing it all made the boy's blood boil.

"Fuck everything" was what Sunghoon repeated most often every time he remembered something related to you.

How he remembered the first day he saw you at university, or how he heard you call him and greet him every time you met. He remembers every moment you were by his side, with your arms entwined or your head resting on his shoulder.

It was hard to forget every little moment when you and he almost kissed when you were drunk. Faces millimeters apart, heart racing and breathless… But then the day in your flat made it all worthwhile. While he was between your legs, kissing you with all the love he'd ever felt and fucking you on your kitchen worktop. Sunghoon could repeat that day a million times over, even though afterward you went and left him the next day. It was the one thing he didn't want to go through.

"You need to snap out of it, man" Jay threw himself on the sofa in Sunghoon's flat, sitting next to him on Saturday night. At times he was the only one who managed to make his friend feel a little better as they talked.

"How?" Sunghoon hugged the cushion, snuggling further into the sofa and staring at the television. He felt Jay's gaze on him as he listened to his friend talk again.

“I don't know, we—” Jay paused for a moment, sliding his body across the leather of the soft sofa and sighing loudly “How about we go out for a while? Just the boys.”

“I think I'd rather stay in my apartment for the next few years” Sunghoon replied.

Jay sighed again, reaching up and snatching the pillow from Sunghoon's lap. He scrambled up, wanting to take back the one thing he was hugging for comfort at the moment.

That's when he saw his friend's face in pure concern, but with something else that he couldn't decipher. Jay was serious most of the time, no one knew what he was feeling – apart from Stella – but Sunghoon knew his best friend so well that he could tell something was wrong.

“Jay” he called out, seeing that Jay was swallowing and straightening up on the sofa.

“Right, I can't lie” Jay closed his eyes ”I need to get you out of the house today and take you to a club on the other side of town.”

It was Sunghoon's turn to turn from curious to confused. What was Jay talking about, anyway? And why did he have to take him to the other side of town today? They worked in a bar, not quite a club, but pretty much the same thing: loud music, drinking and lots of people. Why go to a place that would be practically the same as his work environment?

“Why?” he asked Jay.

The older man was debating whether to say something so direct or simply make up an excuse to drag Sunghoon along. But Jay couldn't lie like he had said, it was almost impossible not to tell the truth to the eyes that stared at him so expectantly.

“Because Stella's taking Y/n there too” he said ”She's back, man.”

A ringing sound passed through Sunghoon's ears, as if the sound pierced his eardrums and he felt an extremely strong pressure in his head. Grateful to be sitting down and knowing that he would get this reaction, Jay was already getting him something to drink from the coffee table. Even though Sunghoon couldn't swallow anything or move, at least Jay was trying.

“Jay, stop fooling around.”

“I swear to God” he whined ”I found out today, Stella didn't want to tell me anything and just asked me to get you out of the house.”

“Why?” Sunghoon stared at a fixed point in the room, everything he was hearing seeming like a dream.

“I know as much as you do” Jay touched Sunghoon's shoulder, making him finally face his best friend ”It seems that only Stella and Alicia know that she's back, no one else. And a lot is going on that not even my girlfriend, Y/n's best friend, knows about.”

Sunghoon debated for a moment whether he should go to where Jay wanted to take him, because things were getting more and more confusing.

You went away and said goodbye in a letter, then you came back and only your two best friends know. At least about your return, because something is going on that even Stella doesn't know about, according to what Jay is saying. So… What was your father up to? That was the thought Sunghoon had as he forced his legs to get up from the sofa, resting his hands on the seat and standing in the middle of the room.

He didn't want to hope for anything at all, and he didn't know what your reaction would be, or even his own, seeing you so many months after your departure. Without exchanging a message, a single phone call. How would you see him afterwards? How would he treat you when he saw you face to face?

“I'm just going to take a shower” Sunghoon sighed ”I hope this doesn't go to shit, Jongseong.”

“Don't call me that” Jay pouted, which was ignored by Sunghoon as he headed for his room to shower and get ready.

Jay also hoped it wouldn't go to shit because no one knew what would happen. But he and Stella hoped that you and Sunghoon would at least talk.

If it weren't for the primal tension between your meeting with Sunghoon, Jay could easily say that he was the most nervous in that entire club. Firstly because his girlfriend trusted him enough to ask Sunghoon to leave the house, but he knew he wouldn't be able to get his best friend out so easily. So telling the truth had been the best course of action. That was why he was walking through the door of that club, the colored lights spinning back and forth and the loud sound almost piercing his insides.

He kept repeating to himself a mantra that things could go smoothly if Stella had already poured you and Alicia some drinks, while he walked in with Sunghoon and Jake. The latter was trying his best to get Sunghoon to walk around people and not turn around and go home. They both knew he could do this at any moment, so Jay led the way into the bar while keeping Sunghoon in the middle and Jake behind in case the other wanted to leave without being seen.

None of them could imagine what it was like for Sunghoon to deal with all of this, although Jay and Jake were just as curious to know what was behind everything that was happening.

Meanwhile, Sunghoon was going over in his mind what he would say to you when he saw you in the first place. Say hello and run off? Or just wave and smile as he went to the bar and got drunk? Maybe he'd do the latter – and the one that was most recommended – because he felt like he might pass out at any moment.

“Right” Jay stopped walking for a moment, turning around and almost slamming his body into Sunghoon, who stopped walking abruptly. But that didn't stop Jake from tripping and slamming into his friend, muttering curses and standing next to the taller man “Let's get a drink before we meet them.”

“I can hang around the bar and you two go find your girlfriends” Sunghoon wanted to get out of there right away and would try anything to make that happen.

“You come with us, wise guy” Jake took him by the shoulders and led him to the bar.

Ordering strong drinks wasn't a big deal for three people who owned a very trendy bar on the other side of town. This could even inspire new drinks at the establishment, Jay thought as he saw colorful liquids and completely different names on the menu. Something that pleased even the palates of the three who sat at the bar and drank three glasses in a row.

Every minute in that bar seemed like an eternity and the fact that Sunghoon didn't want to face the reality that, almost certainly, he was in the same environment as you after such a long time. It wasn't as if he knew how to act because even though he was your friend and had been hiding the fact that he was in love with you for years, he had never gone so long without seeing you. And even less had something so intimate happened that you left without giving any explanation.

“Stella's calling” Jay picked up his cell phone after a long time talking to Sunghoon and Jake, trying to find the courage to get out of there too and pretend that they were randomly in the same club.

He picked it up and chatted very quickly, neither of the other two paying any attention because they were apprehensive about what would happen next.

“Alicia texted me” Jake finished swallowing the drink in his glass ”They're bringing Y/n to the bar.”

“Is it now or never?” Jay tried to smile, knowing that it looked more like a grimace to the two in front of him.

Sunghoon didn't even dare move, leaning against the bar counter as he played with the glass between his fingers. He needed to occupy himself with something other than the fact that he was only a few minutes away from seeing you again. His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his mouth and if it hadn't been for the alcohol warming his muscles, he could have sworn he was shaking right now.

“Hey, guys!” Stella's voice had a strange effect on Sunghoon, who cringed and closed his eyes tightly.

“Baby, you over here” Jay lied so badly, Sunghoon could laugh at that awful performance as he heard the kissing sounds of the couple greeting each other. Then it was Jake and Alicia's turn, the same greeting followed until his friends' voices ceased and he concentrated on the only thing that mattered at that moment.

“Y/n? You're back?” Jake was smiling, his tone a little more theatrical than Jay's. Sunghoon knew that he hadn't been the first to greet you because his best friend was so nervous that he could scream and run off with the other Park if it were possible.

“Jake, hey. Yes, I am!” you sounded excited, and cheerful and hadn't seen Sunghoon who was leaning back against the bar. He waved for the barman to fill his glass and as soon as he did, the liquid almost overflowed from the glass between his fingers.

“What are you doing here?” Alicia asked.

Sunghoon took the glass and brought it to his lips, the burning sensation going down his throat was the best in that second when he heard Jay answer.

“We came on a boys' night out. Me, Jake, and Sunghoon” he felt Jay's hand touch the middle of his back. Sunghoon almost spat out his drink out of nervousness, it was time to turn around.

Everything seemed to stop the second he laid eyes on you. Nothing seemed to have changed, except that you were even more beautiful. If that were possible. He pressed his fingers tightly against the body of the drink while keeping his gaze on yours, which, strangely, you held. Nothing on his face seemed to scream astonishment at seeing you there and Sunghoon couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not. He swore he knew you well enough until a few months ago before you left. But after that, he didn't know who Y/n was standing in front of him at that moment.

“Sunghoon” you said his name so gracefully. He almost gave in to all the pressure and the nervous looks among the group of friends staring at the scene before them.

“Y/n” Sunghoon said in the same way, raising his glass and drinking the entire contents in one go.

He suddenly felt his eyes sting because the last time he'd seen you, he'd left your apartment swearing he'd see you at his bar the next night. When he could finally ask you to be his girl, as he had always dreamed. And now here you are, as someone who took his heart to Switzerland and came back without a single explanation.

He saw you open your mouth to say something as the two couples of friends disappeared to the bar to order drinks. Sunghoon swallowed, wanting to turn around and order more alcohol. It was the only thing that could keep him standing there without doing something ridiculous. But he knew that wasn't going to happen.

“We—”

“I need to go to the bathroom” he interrupted you and he didn't know why, or maybe he did, he just didn't want to feel like crying in front of you. Sunghoon had whined enough for months and the pride that engulfed him was enough for him not to do it in front of you.

Not when he'd already had too much to drink and certainly not when you were looking on with so many emotions at once.

Sunghoon hurried off towards the club toilets, stumbling a few times and apologizing to everyone he bumped into. He hadn't meant to do that, to look like a runaway and a lovesick idiot. But he knew he couldn't predict a reaction, not when he had no way of denying that his feelings for you had never gone away.

He wanted to have stopped feeling anything for you, wanted to have turned that hurt and sadness into anger, and moved on. But every time Sunghoon thought he could move on, you appeared in one of his dreams. Or Stella would comment on something nostalgic involving you, making him remember how much he loved you.

It could be a ploy by his friends to never forget you, or that your best friend somehow wanted to keep you in mind because she might know something. Sunghoon knew it was, but he also had no way of confronting Stella and asking her to tell him. He knew that you might have asked for secrecy and he wanted to respect that, but he couldn't help himself because it all came back at once. And that's why he ran to one of the bathroom cubicles and locked himself in, sitting on the toilet and taking a deep breath.

What he wanted most was for you to come back to him, but why was Sunghoon wishing he wasn't around you at that moment? Why so much conflict when all he had to do was get out of that bathroom and talk to you?

“Hey Hoon, it's me, Jake” the boy's voice snapped him out of his thoughts, making Sunghoon get up from the toilet and quickly open the door ”Are you okay?”

A moment of silence and Jake noticed Sunghoon's eyes shining brighter than usual. He knew it could happen and it was understandable why it had happened so quickly.

“You don't have to answer, it's okay, man” he said, slipping one of his arms around Sunghoon's shoulders “What do you say we get drunk until you forget your name?

“I'd love to, but—”

“But just think about the drink, at least she's back. We can think about that later, okay?”

He wanted to believe Jake's words and how they could comfort him, even if he was still nervous. So Sunghoon tried to smile, finding a little strength in the friend next to him who was slowly getting him out of the bathroom.

Doing what Jake had said that night might not be so bad. Drink a lot, talk and think later.

Sunghoon's last memory was of going to the bar with Jake and ordering three more drinks. After that, everything became a blur and now he had the biggest headache in years.

He was like a frat boy waking up the day after a party smelling of booze and with some random girl sleeping next to him. In contrast, Sunghoon smelled of soap, his pajamas were clean and no girl was next to him, but the messy bed indicated that he hadn't slept alone. Or so it seemed.

“What the fuck happened?” he muttered to himself as he groped around the bedside table for his cell phone or something, finding it practically dead.

Now the headache seemed a little worse as Sunghoon got up and sat on the bed, his back against the headboard as he sighed and tried to remember what had happened.

It couldn't be that bad or his friends would already be at the foot of the bed shaking Sunghoon and demanding explanations, so he could calm down a bit and slow down. To thought that things might not have gotten out of hand as he got out of bed and walked around the apartment looking for something that might remind him of the night before. But nothing was out of place, not even a sofa cushion.

He was alone in that place and there wasn't even a piece of clothing or accessory to make him think that someone might be there.

It was then that his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door handle. The key turning outside and the sound of bags on the other side of the door… Jake or Jay was bringing something to cure his hangover and it made Sunghoon breathe a sigh of relief to see that his friends were thinking of him.

But his smile fell when you walked through the door. Not that he didn't want to see you there, but of all the people Sunghoon imagined… You, wearing one of his T-shirts and the pants from the night before, bags hanging from your arms, and your hair loose, was the image he never thought he would see clearly.

“Y/n?” he asked, taking you by surprise when you entered the apartment.

“You're awake!” your smile almost made him shout, but he made do and ran towards you to help you with the bags, quickly picking them up and taking them to the kitchen.

The small silence in the room wasn't awkward, but you seemed a little apprehensive as Sunghoon looked at all the bags, hesitating to look in your direction.

“Feeling better?” you asked as you stopped next to him, opening one of the bags and taking out a packet of coffee and a carton of milk.

“Did you… Did you do any shopping?” he looked at the things you were unpacking, then finally looked at you.

What the fuck, why is she so close? He almost cried at the closeness when he saw you looking up, a shy little smile on your lips as you looked at him.

“I did” you replied ”You need to stock that cupboard and I thought you needed something to eat after last night.”

After last night. Right, how could he say he didn't remember anything, especially that you were in his apartment?

Sunghoon didn't know how to say something like that, especially since you seemed so casual in his kitchen as if you hadn't abandoned him months ago. As if you and he hadn't been apprehensive in each other's presence the night before.

But on the contrary, you seemed quite at ease taking food out of the bag and sorting it on the kitchen worktop. The almost familiar scene of the last time you and he had met, warmed his heart slightly and made Sunghoon feel his chest tighten. Fear and nostalgia washed over him as he watched you casually turn on the coffee machine after putting the supplies away. Every time your gaze crossed his, Sunghoon felt like shouting and asking what you were doing there. Perhaps the last part he could do.

“What are you doing here?” he asked after a long time without saying anything, just enjoying – even if fearfully – your presence in front of him.

“I brought you home after you nearly passed out in the bar last night” you smiled, even though your gaze was on the coffee machine and the sound of the liquid falling into one of the cups.

Sunghoon sighed heavily and leaned on the kitchen worktop, facing you and at a safe distance from the other side. If he were standing next to you, you knew you wouldn't be able to control yourself.

“And what happened?” he decided to ask, to be honest at least ”I don't remember anything…”

“I didn't think so” you laughed. A laugh so genuine that Sunghoon almost jumped over that counter to kiss you the way he wanted.

“So… tell me” he asked softly, almost in a whisper, but you heard him nonetheless.

Waiting for the first cup of coffee to be ready, you handed it to him while he prepared another for you. Sunghoon took it and drank the dark, bitter liquid, knowing that it could help with his hangover.

“Neither Jake nor Jay could get you to stop drinking yesterday” you began, your gaze following Sunghoon's every move as you watched him drink the hot, bitter coffee.

“And what did you do?” Sunghoon asked, apprehensive about the answer.

Suddenly a flush rose to his cheeks and he thought it might be the steam from the coffee you were preparing, but as soon as you looked away, he knew something else had happened.

“I thought on impulse and kissed you” you managed to grab the freshly prepared cup, causing Sunghoon to almost choke on his coffee.

Now he felt like a complete idiot because, after all this time, you had kissed him and he hadn't remembered?

“It was quick, enough to make you drop the glass” you said ”Then you asked me to bring you home because… Well…”

He ran his gaze all over your body, forcing himself to remember a little more of what was going on. Sunghoon doesn't remember the feeling of your lips on his again, but like a memory retrieval, he could visualize getting into your car together with you. The drive to his apartment and how you helped him undress so he could shower.

You hated that he slept smelling of booze since university… Why didn't Sunghoon think of that as soon as he woke up? Only you could make him clean himself up even when he was drunk.

“And then you asked me to sleep with you because…” your voice faltered a little, your gaze lowered to the liquid in your cup as you vividly remembered Sunghoon's words ”Because you didn't want me to escape again.”

Drunk or not, he didn't regret having said that to you. Sunghoon's only regret was not being sober enough to have enjoyed the time he had with you since you entered his apartment. But now that time could be rewarded as he left his cup on the counter and walked around to stand in front of you.

“I really meant that, Y/n” he said, smiling weakly when you also left your cup on the counter to turn to him.

You didn't have to be a genius to know that Sunghoon was leaning in the next second and capturing your lips in a slow kiss. Knowing the man in front of you well, you even thought it took him long enough to do it. Fighting his demons and fears of losing you again, but at the same time pushing it all away and concentrating only on having you in his arms again.

The way he grabbed you and sat you on his kitchen worktop, his hands sliding down your thighs – unfortunately – clad in the pants from the night before. As your lips moved against his, Sunghoon felt a spark in his body thinking that this could only be a dream. Because one night he was moaning yet again about you, being dragged out by Jay. While the next day he had you sitting on his bench, kissing him so lovingly as if you weren't the cause of the pain and fear he felt.

You were the first to break the kiss, gasping for air in your lungs from the euphoria of kissing Sunghoon after so long. He stood between your legs, foreheads pressed together as he felt your breath against his lips.

“Why did you leave?” he asked suddenly, his hands squeezing your legs without much force, but enough for you to know that he wasn't going to let you go.

You sighed once more, your lips brushing against his as your hands traveled the length of Sunghoon's arms until they reached his shoulders.

“My father,” you whispered, ”he wanted to control so much.”

“Like what?” Sunghoon lowered his face to the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent which seemed to calm him down a little. The feeling of comfort that settled over him when you sighed and pressed him against your body.

Sunghoon didn't want to leave, to stay with you forever in that position or your arms. He could forget everything that had happened and focus on the present moment while he relished the sensation of your hands against his skin or your skin against his lips. But not everything could be that simple, not when your phone interrupted the whole process.

The noise of the handset could have been ignored if it hadn't been so annoying to you. Apologizing to Sunghoon, you sneaked close enough to grab the handset from the other side of the worktop, still holding the boy between your legs as she alternated your gaze between him and the phone.

“Answer it” he whispered, smoothing your legs and trying not to kiss you while you answered.

As much as he wanted to do that, he wanted to hear you grumble while he kissed your neck or to hear you fight with him for making you make embarrassing sounds to whoever was on the other end of the line.

“Hi, Dad” well, maybe he really could do that then.

Sunghoon's lips slowly brushed against your chin, listening to you grumble as you spoke to your father. He already didn't like the older man, so it wouldn't hurt if you said Sunghoon's name out loud while he spread kisses all over your skin. Going down to your neck, tugging at the collar of his T-shirt – which you wore so beautifully – Sunghoon wanted to mark your skin.

“I… I didn't tell you I was back, I'm sorry” so not even your father knew about your return to the country? That was intriguing, it almost made him stop kissing your skin. But Sunghoon remained strong, convinced that he wouldn't stop until you said his name.

“No, I can't do that… Shit” you almost let out a moan when Sunghoon nibbled at the perfect spot on your neck, matching the exact moment when he pressed his hips against yours “Stop…” you whispered to him as you moved the device far enough away so that your father wouldn't hear.

“No” he smiled and sealed your lips, letting you go back to talking to your father.

“Dinner? But…” you faltered a little, trying to concentrate on the bullshit demands your father was trying to make of you. Without taking into account that you were going to Switzerland to try to get away from him and the way he tried to control your life, “I'm not going.”

“But we need to make arrangements for you to meet Owen, after all, his father and I still think you two should get married.”

It was careless of you to put the phone away just as your father raised his voice on the other end of the line, echoing loud enough for Sunghoon to hear. You could have waved it off, disconnected the call and pretended that nothing had happened, but you knew it was too late when you no longer felt Sunghoon's ringtone.

He moved away from you slowly, his eyes focused on your face as he tried to explain what he had just heard.

You didn't even manage to answer your father properly, disconnecting the call straight away and putting the phone somewhere else on the worktop.

“Sunghoon…”

“Getting married, then?” he took a few steps out from between your legs, but remained standing in front of you.

“I'm not getting married, I just—”

“When were you going to tell me?” Sunghoon asked, his tone wavering as he continued to stare at you “When the date is set?”

“I've already said I'm not getting married, Sunghoon. My father…”

“Did he set you up? Was he going to set you up with some business partner's son like in those shitty movies where you, rich, fall in love with a piece of shit like me, but are promised to someone full of money?”

Sunghoon never changed his tone of voice in all the years the two of you had known each other, it had been so different that you never imagined yourself in that scenario. Not even when you met him the night before, expecting him to yell at you and do something to hurt you. But no. Here you were again, hurting him as you had done.

“Sunghoon, I—”

“Please, go away” Sunghoon walked over to the sink, his hands resting on it and his body forward, staring at anything in the dishes that was interesting enough for him not to look at you.

“But—”

“I told you to leave, Y/n” the harsh, squeaky voice made your body cringe, you got off the counter and didn't dare approach him, even though you wanted to wrap your arms around him and tell him what was going on. You thought he would listen to you, but Sunghoon seemed adamant.

Your body couldn't move, although you needed to get out of there when your vision started to blur and you felt your chest tighten. Sunghoon didn't hear any movement from you, so he turned his head to find you standing there in his kitchen.

He was no longer ashamed to cry in front of you, nor did he think he'd be able to hide it when it all mixed and pooled in his eyes, trailing down his cheeks, not unlike you.

“Please, leave me alone. Please, Y/n.”

The pleading cut through your heart and you knew it was all because of you. Because you weren't able to say anything to him or even stop your father from saying all the shit he always said.

There was nothing left to do but leave Sunghoon's apartment, even though you wanted to stay. You knew that going back wouldn't be a good idea, but you didn't think you'd experience any of it either.

“You're staying with us tonight, aren't you?” Jay's voice was a little louder than the music playing in the bar. Sunghoon turned to his friend and smiled weakly, admiring his persistence in thinking he would stay there on a Friday night. Even though he knew there was a good chance you'd show up.

He still didn't know how he was feeling after what had happened, and he also avoided Stella's little requests – through Jay – for him to text you or come to your apartment. Sunghoon had no idea what to feel or think in that situation, making his mind work on various scenarios that he created himself.

Thinking that you could have gone to Switzerland with that man your father had mentioned on the phone, or worse, he thought about how long you had been promised to someone rich and disgusting who had been your old father's choice. While Sunghoon could barely provide you with a decent life. Not that you needed it, because he knew you had enough money to buy his bar if you wanted to. A decent life was all you didn't need from him. That's why maybe someone from your world, the way you lived, would be better. That's why your father seemed so convinced of this, without ruling out any possibility that you might already be with someone else.

Not that he was that other person, there hadn't even been time for Sunghoon to make a formal request or even say that you were his. There was no time at all.

“I'm going home” Sunghoon replied after getting lost in his thoughts, seeing Jay's worried look in his direction.

The tray carrying the empty glasses went straight into the sink, and Sunghoon washed and sanitized them properly before leaving them to drain and waiting for Jake or Heeseung to finish the job.

“Really?” Jay leaned against the opposite side of the sink from where Sunghoon still stood, looking at the people coming in and out of the small dance floor. They were drunk enough to wave to Jake, who was pouring them a drink at the moment.

“Really, I think I need a rest” in reality, he didn't need a rest, he was just avoiding meeting you there in case you went. And Jay knew that very well.

“Okay” he conceded, no longer wanting to push Sunghoon to say anything about it. He got up from where he was to walk over to his friend, ruffling the boy's dark, sweaty hair in front of him “Anything, call me, okay? I'm not drinking tonight because Stella and Alicia will probably want to leave here loaded,” he said, making Sunghoon laugh ”So I'll be chauffeuring you all night. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything.”

“And neither will I” Jake appeared next to Jay ”I drove here today and I can drop Alicia off at home if you need us at your apartment…”

“Boys' night?” Sunghoon joked.

“Come on, it's only desolate, sad girls who can do that?” Jake pouted and picked up a clean glass, grimacing at his two friends as he walked away to serve another group of people who had leaned over the bar.

Sunghoon felt terrible to see his friends' efforts to make him well, even if he didn't want to be sinking like that into something that was only hurting. He wished he could stay at the bar or even accept the boys' invitation to do something, but all he wanted was to be home. Maybe cry some more – out of resentment or anger – and drink whatever was in the fridge, then fall asleep until the next morning.

And that's what he did when he got to his apartment, at least the drinking part. He took off his shoes and coat, then went to the fridge and got three cans of beer. He sat down on the sofa and opened them one by one while thinking about his life recently.

He knew that sleep would be a long time coming because with every sip of beer, he wondered why all this was happening. Sunghoon had seen movies with this theme before, he had even heard of a book that Stella read about a rich guy who fell in love with a girl who wasn't rich. The only difference was that his story with you was the complete opposite. Sunghoon wasn't rich at all.

Laughing at life's misfortunes, he finished his third beer and risked opening the bottle of wine that Jake had bought and left at his friend's apartment for the next time they were all together. Perhaps he wouldn't mind if Sunghoon drank it all, because the occasion called for a little more alcohol and until the next meeting between friends, he would certainly buy Jake another bottle. And if it was for the heartbreak reason, which it really was, he knew his friend would forgive him for taking it all himself.

“I don't think that's going to be enough” Sunghoon muttered to himself as he opened the bottle and took the first sip of wine, the strange mixture of the previous taste of beer and the smooth grapes of the current drink. He had mixed a lot of things before, but this one was strange. Not that it mattered at the moment, Sunghoon just wanted to finish that bottle.

To feel nothing but sleep or for all that sensation to fade from his body, at least for a little while. Just long enough for him to recover enough so that, when he saw you again, he wouldn't act like an idiot in love. Even though you might be in the arms of someone other than him. Even if you were going to share a life with someone other than him. Sunghoon thought he was too late in proposing to you because he had wasted so much time without saying anything.

From the moment he met you at university until years after his courses ended, he was only able to talk about his feelings because you did it first. And even then you tore it all away from him in a matter of a short time. But even though it happened, if he had told you he loved you even before all that, Sunghoon could have enjoyed a little time being yours and you being his. In his arms.

And not that empty bottle of wine he was holding, hoping it would be you there.

Sunghoon usually woke up from his nap with his cell phone ringing in the early hours of Friday morning. Jake or Jay calls and he refuses to go to the bar to finish the drinks so that everyone would go home drunk. But now his nap had been interrupted by frantic knocks on the door.

The first thing he did was glance at the clock hanging on the opposite wall, showing that he had been asleep for less than twenty minutes. The empty bottle of wine was neatly placed on the coffee table in the living room and he had closed his eyes while still sitting on the sofa, without bothering to lie down or go to the bedroom.

The knocks continued and Sunghoon began to get anxious because the rapidity with which the noises were made against the door indicated that whoever was there was in a hurry. And maybe his friends needed him because something might have happened. Jay and Jake weren't drunk, as they had said in the bar before he left… So what could it be? He didn't want to think about anything else and ran the few steps from the sofa to the door, taking a long breath before opening it.

His hand trembled slightly against the handle as he turned it slowly and, with his other hand, Sunghoon unlocked the door.

He could have seen it through the peephole before opening it because the look of astonishment on your face when you stood in front of his apartment door wasn't something you could have rehearsed. You could see that Sunghoon wasn't expecting it and, strangely, you didn't care whether he liked it or not. It was as if you had already predicted that his reaction would be total astonishment.

Sunghoon couldn't say anything, amazed and even a little stunned by your presence there. Stopping to analyze the whole situation, your clothes were quite different from the ones you usually wore. No social attire, elegant clothes, or high heels. Instead, you were wearing jeans, a button-down shirt three times your size, and a completely messy ponytail. Your breathing was so ragged that you could only take deep breaths while looking at him.

“Y/n?” Sunghoon practically whispered as he stared at you trying to take it all in. Afraid he'd say your name a little louder and it was just a drunken dream he was having.

To his surprise, you just nodded and took a step forward, still panting as you walked far enough into his apartment. Facing him squarely.

Already preparing yourself for the question he would ask, such as “what are you doing here?” or whatever, you tried to act on your feelings and prayed that he wouldn't interrupt you this time. The speed with which your lips touched his even shocked you because you didn't think you'd have such good aim just by lifting your own feet high enough to reach where you most wanted to touch him at that second.

Processing the event while still half-drowsy, Sunghoon smacked his lips to yours and then pulled away. Inches away from your face just to try to assimilate that you had just kissed him, and when you grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him against you again, he let himself go.

It wasn't as if he was going to stop you from kissing him, even though he had mixed feelings. But neither was he going to deny that he was kissing the woman he loved so much.

He was the first to give the go-ahead to deepen the kiss, opening his lips to receive your tongue and feeling you press your fingers into his shirt. When your tongue tangled with Sunghoon's, he put his hand around your waist to press you against him. His free hand closed the door in the same second to push your back against the cold wood and trap you between it and the tall, slender body in front of you.

In a contest of longing and need, your tongue and his played in sync as you felt Sunghoon's hand slide under the fabric of your shirt. Touching your skin and almost sending a shock through your whole body when he ran his short nails along your hip. A screaming need to feel him in every corner of your body, you craved it as much as he did and tried to show it as you kissed him even more.

Even though it was an almost impossible mission to say everything you felt for Sunghoon because it was beyond words and all you wanted was to make him understand you. That he would listen to you because surely his thoughts about everything that was happening were completely wrong. You wanted to prove it to him. And maybe you were on the right track.

When Sunghoon ran both hands down your hips, to your ass, and down to your thighs, the two slaps there were enough for you to understand that he wanted you in his arms. On his lap. And you didn't hesitate to jump up and wrap your legs around his body when he picked you up.

“Take me to your room” you smiled against his lips, slowly sliding down when you both needed some air, going to Sunghoon's ear “We need to talk.”

“About what?” Sunghoon's breathy voice was so attractive and exciting, that you could swear you almost moaned just from the memories it brought back.

“About us” you felt Sunghoon's arms squeeze your body in his lap, but at no time did the boy show any resistance as he pulled you away from the door to take you to his room.

The whole way was done in silence, feeling his gaze on you almost the whole way, except when he paid a little more attention so that he didn't hurt you or stumble by mistake. Even more so when your lips did a great job against his cheek, going down to his jaw and neck. It bought you time between Sunghoon's slow steps and the time it took you to think about how to start that conversation once you got to his room.

Why, what would you start by saying? And how would you start? Because telling Stella, Jay, and Jake had been easy. Smooth, even, with the possibility of your friends judging you. But because it was Sunghoon, the main character in all of this, things seemed to be even more complicated.

Your thoughts were interrupted when the two of you reached his room, Sunghoon slowly standing you up as he passed the door and closed it. His eyes glazed over your figure as he waited for your next move. His mind would have to work a million different ways now. Afraid that he would kick you out of the apartment once again or not listen to you explain while you had a lot to say, something crossed your mind and you prayed that it would work out. Not least because you'd need to concentrate on every word while you did everything you wanted to do.

One of your hands went to Sunghoon's abdomen, slowly moving up to his chest and giving it a gentle push. It was nothing compared to her strength and his size, at most moving the boy's body a centimeter in front of you. Enough for him to take a slow step backward.

“Sit down” you instructed softly, slowly pushing him towards his bed. You tried your best to make your voice sound calm as you watched him nod and walk backward to the bed, sitting down and leaning against the headboard. Your smile slowly followed his, but Sunghoon held his breath as you climbed onto the bed to sit on his lap, both hands resting on his broad shoulders.

“What are you doing? Weren't we going to talk?” he asked, his voice shaky and wavering as he felt your weight on his lap. Sunghoon frowned, not because he hated having you on his lap, on the contrary, but it had never crossed his mind to have a conversation in that position.

“We will” you leaned your forehead against his ”But I'm afraid you won't let me talk, so I thought I'd do something.”

“What thing?” Sunghoon asked when he felt your breath against his face, your warm breath against his freshly kissed and still reddened lips. You smiled, but he couldn't capture the moment because he had just closed his eyes to revel in every little sensation you gave his body.

Sunghoon had completely forgotten the old feeling that he didn't want to see you anymore, that he was avoiding you at all costs. He forgot everything the moment he felt your lips on his when you arrived at the apartment, and now, feeling you holding his face between your hands. Your little fingers caressing his skin – which would have been stained with tears tonight if you hadn't been here – and trailing around his jaw to his lower lip. You didn't respond immediately, nor did he complain when he felt you kissing him again.

It was like being addicted to something and needing it to live, regardless of whether he deserved it or not. Sunghoon knew he wouldn't be able to go on without kissing you and without having you. He didn't want to think about a world in which you wouldn't be with him as you are right now. Sunghoon just wanted to feel your tongue entwining with his slowly, urgently, and intensely. Your heavy breathing against his mouth almost drove him crazy, not least when you were rocking against his lap.

It was too much torture to feel you like that, the clothes getting in the way as you slowly rolled over in his lap. His cock, once semi-hard, was now hard enough to rub against your jeans and the pants he was wearing, creating the perfect friction for both of you.

“Fuck” he moaned against your mouth, stifling another moan when he felt your nails against his shoulders. Sunghoon wasn't going to question whether that was an effective method of conversation, but if you wanted to start like that, he wasn't going to stop you.

He ran his big hands down your shirt, finding your ass very well synchronized in slowly rolling over, at the same intensity as your tongue played with his. It was as if you wanted to make him feel the same movements inside your mouth and on top of your lap, as your clothed pussy rubbed against his cock.

“Sunghoon” you moaned his name, an extremely low blow. This made Sunghoon's fingers squeeze each side of your buttocks, stopping your hip movements.

“Do you…” he sighed, his heartbeat accelerating as you pulled your mouth away from his ”Do you want to talk like this?”

He looked like a lost, needy little animal, his big eyes staring at you and his chest rising and falling in gasping breaths. Such a beautiful sight that you missed it, and having it again was something you didn't want to miss.

Releasing Sunghoon's hands from your ass, you intertwined your fingers with his and left them next to your body, on the side of your thighs. If your expression wasn't so passionate, he could have sworn it was some kind of tease as you moved back against his lap.

“I want you to pay attention only to what I say” you whispered, squeezing his fingers and letting out a low moan as your clit rubbed exactly against his jeans and the head of his cock at that moment. That was all you needed “Can you do that for me?”

There was a minute's silence as Sunghoon pondered this because he couldn't concentrate on anything other than the movements you were making. It would be difficult to focus on your words while what he wanted most at that moment was to be inside you.

“I'll try” he managed to say before he felt you slip out of his lap.

The loss of contact made Sunghoon a little dizzy because he felt his cock ache, that friction was all he needed, but losing it suddenly made him feel weak. He looked at where you were, standing next to his bed as you unbuttoned your jeans and left only your big shirt. It was a punishment that it was that big and covered half your thighs… Why couldn't you wear one of the shirts you normally wore? They were small enough to go halfway down the buttons of the pants you wore, and not nearly as dressy as that one. He also didn't think about why you were undressing, let alone why you had gone back between his legs and now it was your fingers' turn to open the buttons on Sunghoon's pants.

“Y/n, what—” he tilted his head back and leaned against the headboard, his eyes closing and his breathing completely heavy as you lowered the fabric of his pants enough to free his cock from the tightness of his jeans and hold it over the fabric of the briefs he was wearing ”Fuck, you…”

“I want you to understand that whatever I say is true” your thumb perfectly drew the line of his cock head covered in pre-cum that had already soaked through his underwear. Sunghoon moaned loudly at the touch and squirmed to try to get your hand away, feeling the slight slap you gave him before looking him in the eye.

Eye contact alone could make him come right there, without any further ministrations from you. Sunghoon could free himself in his boxers as he felt you draw circles on the head of his cock, but it couldn't be that easy. You weren't going to provoke him because he didn't deserve that at all. He deserved to be taken care of, to listen carefully to what you had to say, and, perhaps, to understand every word. He just prayed that everything would be said clearly, even if he was struggling against your touches to pay attention to the words.

You knew that the body language between the two of you was a great connection because when your fingers slid into the waistband of his pants, Sunghoon didn't even think to help you remove the fabric along with the underwear he was wearing, his cock being released in a mixture of relief and pain, slapping against the belly covered by the T-shirt he was still wearing. The garments went halfway down his thighs before he saw you move far enough away for him to pull them off and throw them on the floor beside the bed. Now with his lower half completely bare to you, exposed like that, Sunghoon knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything. Not with you kneeling between his legs again.

“I want you to believe me, Sunghoon” you whispered as you leaned in, your face close enough to his to say it, ”Do you?”

He was quiet at that moment, just staring at you and hoping that something would formulate in the back of his mind. Sunghoon would believe… But in what? What, exactly, would he have to believe? What would you say would have to be done just for him to believe? Sunghoon's mind wasn't working very well at that moment, he seemed lost and excited and just agreeing was enough for you to continue whatever you were doing. He would only accept at that moment, fighting against any greater urge before actually listening to you. Or feel you, because he didn't know what you would do first.

Watching your slow movements as you slid between his legs, your face lowering just enough to get close to his cock and your mouth touching the head smeared with pre-cum.

“Fuck you” he muttered almost as a roar of relief when he felt your hot mouth suck the tip of his cock. The pop when you released it made Sunghoon moan low and almost cry from the contact.

Your hand firmly gripped the base of his cock, the narrow veins running along the length that filled you so well last time. You made eye contact with him the second your mouth returned to spilling the mushroom, the tip of your tongue making the perfect circle before your lips slowly slid down his cock.

“Shit, Y/n” he moaned. The sensation of having his cock swallowed by your warm, soft lips was divine. Your tongue felt his vein fissures and your throat accommodating the glans when you reached the bottom. You slid his cock out once more, but without taking it out completely as you did the first time, establishing a rhythm so slow that Sunghoon might have thought he was being tortured.

The torture in your eyes fixed on his, with your mouth full of his cock as you moved your head up and down in a rhythm that you set yourself to suck it. Sunghoon knew – and anyone else in those conditions – that it would be impossible for you to say anything at that moment, so delighting in your mouth around his cock was the perfect moment. Sunghoon wrapped his already-tangled hair between his fingers, taking advantage of the ponytail hairstyle he'd done before so that he could hold onto you with one hand and the other wrapped around your jaw.

“You're doing so good, babe” Sunghoon said, his thumb caressing your cheek and spreading a little of your saliva that fell each time you took his cock deeper into your mouth until it touched your throat. He moaned your name every time you proved that your vomit reflex was in perfect condition. You took him so deep that Sunghoon knew he could come right there, in the warmth of your lips as he felt you speed up your movements.

He pressed his thumb against your jaw as you moved your mouth up and down his cock faster, your gaze never leaving Sunghoon's fucked face above you. Your name was said with each heavy breath and the moans he let out were like the most beautiful melody you could have heard in your life.

“I'm going to… Y/n, please…” Sunghoon didn't want to come so quickly, he didn't want to look so weak for a blowjob as well done as yours. And it seems that you didn't want him to come so soon either, because your mouth began to move slowly down his cock until it stopped completely. Your tongue makes the same circle around the head of his cock until you let go, again, with a pop.

How pornographic that sound could be when accompanied by Sunghoon's hoarse moan at the same moment. You knew your panties were wet enough just from the sounds and feel of his cock inside your mouth, but you didn't care anymore. Not when you also had to concentrate because your words weren't finished. You had a few more things to say to him. Before returning to Sunghoon's lap, you discarded your sticky, wet panties, almost in the same spot next to the bed where his clothes were, and it was only at that moment that you returned to your old spot – his lap.

“You drive me crazy, you know that?” he was visibly stunned and you secretly liked that effect, the hint that he didn't want to see you had finally disappeared and now the faint smile Sunghoon was giving you was the perfect indication that he had your undivided attention.

“In a good way?” you asked, your tone low and your hips hovering in the air so as not to touch your naked pussy to his cock just yet.

“In the best of ways” he said, tilting his head towards yours to capture your lips this time.

It was Sunghoon's turn to start the kiss a little less slowly than the two of you had shared so far. His hands held your face on either side and he could feel your jaw moving during the kiss as his thumbs made the perfect line to your chin. And you knew that this would be the perfect moment since Sunghoon's hands were busy holding your face, he wouldn't stop you.

You slid your hand between the two bodies and gripped his cock, taking advantage of the fact that your saliva would be the perfect combination of lubrication with how wet your pussy was. Then you simply slid the head of his cock between your folds, opting to tease him another time, and slid it in far enough until it found its entrance. It didn't take you long to slide his cock in effortlessly.

“Fuck, shit. I—” Sunghoon didn't have time to reason or even say anything to you when his cock was already completely inside your pussy. He wouldn't deny something like that, he wouldn't stop you, but feeling your pussy swallow his cock without any warning was one of the most delicious sensations he'd ever felt.

Sunghoon's hands left your face to grip your hips before you could start any movement. He didn't want to teach you anything, he wanted to let you guide yourself as you felt most comfortable, but he needed to feel the way you moved as well as have his cock inside you. So when you raised your hips for the first time and then lowered yourself in a not-so-slow movement, he tightened his fingers on your hips in response, moaning your name.

“Sunghoon” you moaned, but you wanted to call him out as you put your idea into action. He just grunted as he felt you move again on his lap, your pussy swallowing his cock so well that it was hard to say anything “I want you to unbutton my shirt while I talk to you…”

“Fuck, no” he moaned as you went down on his cock again, a little faster this time.

He didn't want to deny it, but it was hard to concentrate. So Sunghoon knew he had to be guided, and you knew you had to do it when you took his hands and led them to the first button of your shirt.

“Just concentrate on that and my words.”

He wanted to ask if this was how you behaved when you were the boss of the company or when you had to deal with someone from your work or even your father. The authoritative yet cautious way you spoke to him made his cock twitch inside you. And he wondered how it was possible for you to keep your tone while resting your hands on his shoulder and forcing your legs up and down on his cock.

Sunghoon leaned his head back against the headboard, the moans becoming frequent and released without any pause. The sound of slapping skin as you began to hump faster, his pelvis meeting yours, and the wet, squishing sound of your pussy every time you swallowed him. His fingers were trembling as he managed to unbutton the first button, moving down to the second and losing himself for a moment when the walls of your pussy squeezed him tight.

“I'm not going to make it with you… squeezing me like that…”

“You can do it, Hoonie” he could have easily turned you against that mattress and fucked you so hard with his hooded provocations and authoritarian requests in that situation. But he didn't have the strength, let alone the courage, to disobey your requests while you slowed down your movements because you knew it was hard for him. Sunghoon managed to unbutton the second button and went down to the next one, his eyes slowly opening to look at you.

Your smile was angelic even in the position he was in and the way you were rubbing up against him. Now, going back and forth with your clit deliciously rubbing against his pelvis and, when you moved a little more, you could rub against his cock covered in all your essence before getting just the tip inside your hole and sliding it into you again. He didn't want to ask where you'd learned it or if you'd even practiced, maybe Sunghoon was lucky enough to have been the first to feel it because you were so horny that you tried out the wildest fantasies in your mind. And that's exactly what it was, but you'd never tell him.

“Sunghoon” you called him again when your rolls and movements became less intense. You still kept them up but in a more sensual way. You wanted to emphasize your words and let him finish the buttons on your shirt. He looked you in the eye, the shine in that gaze and the intense way in which Sunghoon stared at you was the certainty of everything you felt. You leaned forward, your slightly sweaty forehead touching his and your panting breaths mingling with each other “You're the only one for me.”

“What?” he finished unbuttoning your shirt, given the circumstances of your slow movements. A respite for the poor man with a hard-on and his hard, aching cock being swallowed by your pussy.

Opening your shirt and revealing your bra, he didn't even bother to look at the lace or anything else, because your voice was the only thing he was concentrating on at that moment. The two of you kept staring at each other until you finally took off your shirt and took the opportunity to get rid of your bra, knowing that you had tortured Sunghoon enough to make him unbutton every button.

You pulled away from him to pull up his shirt, and he was quick to get the message and get completely naked, just as you were on top of him. You leaned your forehead against his again, your skin glistening against the light in the room and the sweat emanating from your shared activities.

“I don't want anyone but you” you kissed his lips slowly, moving your hips back in the same way ”I've never been with anyone but you and—”

Sunghoon knew it was enough, he knew he just needed that confirmation. Even if you'd been trying to say it all along and he was too stubborn – and jealous – to listen. He wanted to suffer in silence rather than listen to what you had to say. But after today and what you did, he could no longer have any doubts about the things that were happening.

Giving him all to reverse positions, pressing your back down on the mattress, and getting on top of you, Sunghoon lined his cock up in your pussy without wasting any time in being inside you again.

“Say it again,” he whispered as he began to thrust his cock into you. Sunghoon's face lined up on the curve of your neck as he thrust his cock into you at a slow but strong pace. The sound of his pelvis against your skin was enough to make you forget your words. Now you understood why he couldn't speak so perfectly when you were on top. It was hard to think of anything coherent while you felt his cock going deep inside you.

“I don't… Shit” you moaned softly as his cock drove deep, hitting the perfect spot inside your warm walls and making your nails slide down his back. Sunghoon kissed your neck, smiling against your skin at the effect he caused just by slowly thrusting his cock into you. “I don't want anyone else but you” saying it quickly hadn't been a mistake, not least because you knew that once he heard it, it would be enough to feel you faster.

And that's what happened. As if you knew him so well, Sunghoon raised his face to look at your every expression as he began to fuck his cock into your pussy. The fast, strong movements made your body sway beneath him and the overwhelming sound of your arousal coursed through his cock every time it moved in and out of you. Sunghoon rested one hand on the side of your body, the other gripped the headboard so tightly that his fingers might have hurt afterward from the force with which he held on. But it was all a consequence of all the sensations repressed while he fucked you as he pleased.

Sunghoon ignored the burning in your back caused by your nails in his skin, and he also ignored the fact that your thighs were squeezing him so tightly that, if it weren't for the speed with which he moved his hips against yours, you would surely have been able to stop him in a few moves. But he wouldn't give up, he wouldn't stop.

“I can't take it… I can't…” you pulled his face close to yours, mouths too close together.

“Do you want to cum?” he asked, your nod the only source of confirmation as you moaned his name against his lips.

Sunghoon nodded too, knowing he wasn't that far away from you as his cock throbbed inside your pussy. The way you sucked him so well was the perfect indication that he had to come right there to claim what was rightfully his. Your pussy and all of you.

He let you kiss him again, messy with drool, totally sloppy as he felt his hips stutter in their movements. You were getting more and more desperate and this was proven by the way your moans were swallowed by his lips and your pussy clenching him tightly.

It wasn't long before you came against his cock, the muscles in your pussy convulsing around his length. Without delay, Sunghoon knew you wouldn't be strong enough to take it, so he came straight away. The load of cum he poured into your pussy was hot and thick, every part of you squeezing him, milking his cock a little more until the last drop of cum he poured into you dried up.

Gasping and with your lips still pressed together, you gave one last loud sigh after moaning his name against his lips. Smiling along with Sunghoon as you both recovered a little from your rapid breathing.

He didn't want to open his eyes at that moment, afraid that everything would happen again. You and him having sex, and then Sunghoon found out that you were leaving for another country, and that made his heart hurt even more when he opened his eyes and didn't see you on the other side of the bed.

Sunghoon could have sworn he had hugged your waist the entire night after the two of you slept together, but you were no longer by his side. Again.

A lump formed in his throat at the thought that this was happening again, and even worse after you said everything you said. It wouldn't be indicative of anything if you spoke and still walked away like you did with him. Was that why you had asked him to believe you? So you could have another night together and now you're going to another country? Well, what would it be this time? It would have to be something further away than Switzerland because Sunghoon swore he could travel there after you again if that was the case.

Not wanting to think about it anymore, pushing away his blurred vision with a strong breath and trying not to focus on the tightness he was feeling in his chest, he stretched his hand beside the bed just to feel for his underwear and put them on, quickly leaving the room without paying attention to nothing else. It wouldn't be new for him to be left by you, but this time Sunghoon had to put an end to what he was feeling because he couldn't afford to be chased, to listen to you, to have sex with you, and then watch you leave. He couldn't allow that because Sunghoon would suffer every time, while he wouldn't know why you did all that.

He wanted not to think about those things, he wanted not to feel like crying as he walked around the apartment. But in vain, a tear had already fallen down his cheek and before Sunghoon even wiped it away, he almost felt his heart come out of his mouth when he found your figure in the kitchen.

You were wearing his t-shirt from the night before, and your eyes were focused on the small recipe book as you had some ingredients in front of you. With the sound of his footsteps, your attention was no longer on the words written by Sunghoon's grandfather in that worn notebook, but rather on the crying boy standing at the kitchen door.

“Hey, Hoonie” you would smile if it weren’t for the sight of Sunghoon’s cloudy eyes and wet cheek. You quickly walked towards him and held the face of the man in front of you, wiping away the second tear that was about to fall down the middle of his cheek “What is it? What happened?"

He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into a tight hug and sniffling softly against your hair.

“I thought you were gone again” he whimpered, letting a few more tears fall as he felt you hug him.

Relief would be best described in the middle of that hug, over any feeling Sunghoon swore he felt after waking up. He felt your lips kiss his bare shoulder and then slowly slide down his arms until you faced him.

“I’m not going anywhere anymore” you smiled, kissing him on the lips “And that’s why we need to talk.”

“For real now, right? Without my dick inside you?”

“Sunghoon!” you slapped his arm as you walked away, hearing the boy's captivating and welcoming laugh.

He noticed you were making his grandfather's famous coffee, or trying to replicate the little details. Just like he did that day in your apartment. The nostalgic moment brings him back to the day you told him you were in love with him. You revealed your feelings and let him say them too.

As you went back to preparing coffee, you felt Sunghoon's arms wrap around your waist and hug you from behind. He rested his face on your shoulder to pay attention while you concentrated there.

“I think I'm ready to listen to you now” he said as calmly as if he hadn't been almost desperate minutes before.

He also wouldn't say that he thought about traveling to another country if the scenario repeated itself. Maybe you thought he was crazy, or not so much because you knew Sunghoon enough to know that he would be capable of that since his first feeling was denial that you came back this time. Now all he had to do was go after it if it happened. What he wouldn't do and you would say so clearly to him.

“You were right when you said that my Dad tried to set me up with a partner’s son and everything…” Sunghoon knew there was no way to hide the tightening of his muscles, the arms around your waist tightening a little more and the jaw resting on your shoulder becoming harder as he listened to you. You knew this would happen, so you had to be quick in your explanations “That’s very much a movie scene, isn’t it?”

"What?" he asked, trying to ignore the amusement in your tone. This wasn't fun at all, why were you making it out to be?

“The Dad trying to arrange a marriage for his daughter and the heiress of his company” you laughed softly as you poured some coffee powder into the machine, focusing on the mixture of sugar and cinnamon that was described on the sheet on the other side of the counter “But my life it’s not a movie.”

"What do you mean by that?" Sunghoon was visibly confused, his hands resting against your stomach.

“I mean that—” you stopped yourself, hearing the coffee machine start to make noise as it prepared the liquid that the two of you would drink right away. Turning around in Sunghoon's arms, your hands finally palmed his bare chest. “My father tried to control this in my life, but he couldn't. And that’s why I went to Switzerland.”

If he was confused before, he was even more so now. And as he listened to you calmly, everything, even though it made sense, left him shocked.

Sunghoon knew that your father always tried to control everything in your life, and it was one of the biggest reasons why you always vented to him. Having someone control almost everything for you was extremely annoying, a tremendous invasion of privacy. But as soon as you learned that your father wanted to make you marry his business partner's son, it sounded like a ridiculous joke to you. It was a movie you could see with Stella at a movie theater as they discussed how life tried to imitate art, but not when you objected to it.

“That night I showed up at your bar crying, it was because I decided to leave for Switzerland without anyone knowing. I wanted to escape yet another choice in my life made by my father” you sighed slowly, Sunghoon's fingers caressing your waist through your – his – t-shirt. You felt his lips slowly against the top of your head and you smiled because they remained there “Only you knew through that letter. I didn’t even tell Stella, but… I knew you would show her and the boys, so it was okay because I trust you all.”

He moved his lips from your head to your forehead, breathing deeply against your skin. Now that things were starting to make sense, Sunghoon swore he felt even more angry towards your father.

“This trip was to organize my mind on how I would face my father in this situation because it wasn't easy to make him change his mind” you sighed “Well, you heard it on the phone that day.”

“Unfortunately” he whispered, not wanting to interrupt you even if you wanted to hear him.

The noise of the coffee machine interrupted your thoughts for a brief moment, then you turned back in his arms to pour a good amount into the two cups in front of you. Sunghoon slid his arms around your waist again, still hugging you and not wanting to let go so soon.

“I came back because I decided to lead my own life, I didn't want him to do that for me anymore” preparing the coffee was done with a shaking hand because you felt like crying every time you thought about the fights against your father.

The harsh words he said to you while you refused to follow what he wanted for you. Of all the years he was in control of your life, it was time for things to change. You felt a feather-light kiss that Sunghoon placed on your shoulder when you signaled that the coffee was ready. He picked up the cup and walked to the other side of the counter so he was facing you.

“And also because I resigned from his company because he simply said I couldn’t get married when I was already committed to someone else.”

He almost spat out his coffee when he heard it come out of your mouth so nonchalantly. Those new attitudes from such a carefree Y/n were not something Sunghoon was used to, especially after you gave an innocent smile as if you hadn't said the craziest thing out loud.

"You're kidding, right?" he tried to catch his breath after coughing a few times, resting the cup on the kitchen counter “Y/n, you can’t do this.”

“I can and I did, Sunghoon” you smiled with your lips against your cup as you sipped your hot coffee “I talked about being in love with you since university, that I didn't want to be the boss of that shit company anymore and that I quit because I simply I wanted to have control of my own life and do what I wanted.”

As much as it was something he wanted to hear at all costs, Sunghoon couldn't be selfish enough to let you miss out on things because part of you had told your father about your feelings for him.

“Did you tell him about me?” Sunghoon asked, seeing you nod as you drank more coffee.

Possibly your father had cursed Sunghoon the moment he heard you say that he owned a bar and not the owner of a company. He knew this should have happened.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” your voice took him away from his thoughts for a while, he picked up the cup of coffee again, looking at the dark liquid now, trying not to focus on your intense gaze.

“You can’t just give up your life for your feelings, Y/n.”

“You mean the money?” he didn't see the eye roll you gave, otherwise he would scold you for it and continue saying how wrong you were for doing those things.

“I mean that—”

It hurt Sunghoon to have to think, and to be about to say that out loud. But just as you were being sincere, he could tell you what he thought too. It wouldn't be a judgment on his part and he hoped you wouldn't be offended, especially because he also had the right to think that way.

“The guy your father wants you to be with has money and a good life” he bit the tip of his tongue at the thought of another man being with you. Even if it was to make his father happy, Sunghoon just couldn't do it. “He's from your world, Y/n.”

"My world?" your shaky voice made him look up from the coffee to your face. You looked strangely sad, and he didn't want you to feel that. You should be happy, maybe, Sunghoon also didn't know what to think anymore.

“Yeah, he has money, I don’t” Sunghoon took a big sip of coffee “We’re from two different worlds, you know?”

“No” you replied quickly, the thud of the cup against the counter on the other side made Sunghoon shrug his shoulders momentarily.

"Why not?" he placed the cup back, walking around the counter ever so slowly to get closer to you again. He wanted to touch you and you would possibly hit him because of the way you were looking at him. He didn't want to see you like this either, but he risked pulling you against him and bringing your face closer to his.

“Because I don’t want a world where you’re not in it, Park Sunghoon” your pout dismantled him at that moment, matching the shape of your words “You are my world.”

Fuck your father's opinion and thoughts and Sunghoon's pride in trying to think that you should follow another path. He wouldn't be stupid enough to push you onto someone else, not when you were there, openly saying that you gave up a lot of things because of him. Much of it was because of you and your wishes, but if that included Sunghoon, he wouldn't waste it.

Sunghoon kissed you so slowly, feeling the taste of the freshly drunk coffee and your warm lips against his. Your hands quickly went to his hair and Sunghoon hugged you so tight, afraid you would run away and believe his words from minutes ago. Fuck money, fuck everything. You said he was your world, and he wanted to be your world just like you were his.

“I love you” Sunghoon whispered after kissing you, his lips still hovering over yours “I love you so much I don’t want you to leave.”

“I love you so much more” you whispered back, snuggling into his arms as you felt Sunghoon’s heartbeat against your chest as you felt him hold you in that hug. “And I’m not going anywhere without you now.”

“Promise?”

“I promise” you kissed his lips once again, and Sunghoon could scream with happiness to finally have you in his arms.

Being able to wake up every morning and feel your body on the other side of the bed with the certainty that you wouldn't leave. He knew he would have to face your father sooner or later, but he also knew that your request the night before to believe in you was what was worth it. Sunghoon would believe in you at all times because being together with you, nothing else mattered.

“By the way” you smiled slowly when he began to undo his arms around your body, moving away so he could return to the other side of the counter and drink the rest of the coffee. He would prepare food afterward because the drink alone wouldn't be enough.

“Say it, love” he encouraged you when he didn’t hear you continue. Raising an eyebrow at you as he brought the cup to his lips to finish the contents and pay attention to what you had to say.

“Is there space at your bar? I don’t want to be without work.”

Sunghoon truly laughed as he walked back behind you, leaning down enough to place the cup into the sink. He wouldn't imagine someone like you working in his crazy bar, not when you didn't behave like the people who worked there. Not even Stella would work there.

“Maybe you should ask Stella for help with this, baby” Sunghoon kissed the side of your neck, causing a slight shiver to run across your skin “I don’t want you to work in my bar because I know the type of customers I have there.”

"Jealous?" you joked.

"Jealous of you? Definitely” he nibbled your skin, watching you shiver even more.

Continued to laugh at your reaction and your protests about being a good employee, maybe even better than his three best friends. You could team up with Stella and attract more clientele to the bar, even if the establishment doesn't need it. It was Sunghoon's turn to feel a shiver run down his spine at the idea of ​​men staring at you or trying to flirt with you, just like he saw them doing with any girl who frequented his bar. Now that the two of you were together, he knew that being jealous was nothing compared to what he would experience with you.

But if it was the same way he was being, laughing at your protests, receiving your kisses as he scooped up the pancake batter, and listening to you grumble about wanting to work with Stella now, he would love to live by her side. Because you were his world, just like he was his.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

[spnhunter4life]

End Up Here

Summary: It's a typical night out for Emily. Friday night. A bar. Some of her closest friends. She expects to have a few hours of fun before heading home. She doesn't expect the handsome stranger that catches her attention so thoroughly, she just can't seem to look away. And she definitely doesn't expect him to look back.

Word Count: 3.3k

A/N: This story is very different from anything else I've written, so I hope people still enjoy! This is my attempt at a non-hunting AU. It's going to be pretty happy, relaxed, and drama free.

Series Masterlist Masterlist

“You’re coming out with us tonight, right?” Rose, my coworker asked. We were currently sitting at the table in the office building, eating our lunch. “Please?” She added, seeing my hesitation. “We all really want you to come.”

She had made plans with three more of our coworkers to meet up at a bar tonight.

“Alright,” I sighed. “I’ll come. But I can’t stay out too late. Some of us actually have to be back here in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re all about being to bed at a ‘decent time.’ Honestly, Emily, it’s ok to let loose every now and then. Live a little. You’re an adult. It’s ok to stay up late and have fun with your friends.”

“Of course it’s ok. But if you want me to be able to function in the morning, it’s not smart.”

“You’re just so… I don’t know. Responsible? It’s kind of disgusting. And boring,” Rose teased. She wasn’t being mean. We’d been friends for years, and it never failed to disappoint her when I prioritized sleep over having fun. It’s something she just couldn’t understand. She was a ‘live in the moment and deal with the consequences’ kind of person, whereas I tended to care more about not being miserable the next day.

That’s not to say I never stayed out late and had a good time. But when I knew I had work in the morning, it just wasn’t worth it. 

“Yep. That’s me. Disappointment and killer of good times.” I checked the time on my phone and realized I needed to be getting back outside to get ready for the next class. I gathered up the containers from my lunch and threw them back into the bag I had brought them in. “I’ll be at your house at 7:30,” I told Rose. Then I walked out the door and started bringing up horses.

~~~~~

I got done with work just after 6. I hadn’t updated the rider files from the last class yet, but I could do that tomorrow. I needed to get home if I wanted to be at Rose’s house at the time I’d promised.

“Come on, Bug!” I called to my dog when I stepped back inside the office. Her real name was Ziggy. Bug was just an affectionate nickname that I used a lot. I picked up her bowls that I kept by the door. I heard the tinkling of the name tag on her collar and the pitter patter of her tiny feet as she rushed over to greet me. She ran in circles around my legs, whining in excitement and occasionally stopping to jump up. 

You’d think she’d been alone all day rather than in an office that always had one or two people around and where I came to check on her multiple times throughout the day. She even got to sit in my lap during my break. That’s just how she was though. Any amount of time spent away from me was utterly unacceptable. 

“Let’s go home.” I picked her up, locked the door behind me and then carried her to the car. 

The first thing I did when I got home was hop in the shower. It always felt good to wash off all of the sweat, dirt, horse hair, and mix of horse saliva and snot – walking in a dusty arena meant lots of sneezing horses and they usually got it all over me – I came home covered in.

After my shower I changed into a new, clean outfit and put some gel in my hair. I found some leftovers in the fridge that I heated up and ate quickly before finishing getting ready. I took Ziggy outside and made sure she had food and water before getting back in the car and driving to the house Rose and two of her friends rented together.

“Hey, Mandy,” I greeted the brunette who opened the door and invited me in. I wouldn’t go as far as calling Mandy and Rose’s other roommate Lindsey my friends, but we saw each other enough that we were familiar and comfortable with each other. “Is Rose almost ready?”

“Yeah, I think so. She should be out any minute.”

“I’m coming!” I heard Rose’s voice call from up the stairs. She hurried down, putting one of her earrings in as she walked. She looked me up and down, less than impressed with my outfit, I knew. 

“That’s what you’re wearing?” She asked. I thought the jeans and band t-shirt I had on looked just fine. They weren’t going to win me any dates – especially when compared to Rose’s ripped skinny jeans and tank top, not to mention the effort she’d put into her hair and makeup – but we weren’t trying to meet guys. It was just supposed to be a night out with friends. I told her as much and she rolled her eyes and opened the door. 

She only lived six blocks away from the bar we were going to so we were just walking. There was no point in driving there when it likely wouldn’t be safe for her to drive back. I knew I wouldn’t be staying as late as everyone else, so I wasn’t about to offer to drive. She could walk or get an uber ride.

“You really are no fun. Just because that’s not the goal doesn’t mean someone won’t catch your eye.”

“And if someone does catch my eye I should abandon my friends to talk to him?” I asked.

“Absolutely! On behalf of everybody, if you see someone you like, please do! I probably shouldn’t. I’m at least getting myself out there and going on dates regularly. But you? When’s the last time you actually went out with someone? I know I sound like a broken record here, but I’m going to say it again. Live a little.”

“It’s not like I refuse to date. I just rarely ever even meet single guys my age. And the few I do meet are usually not worth the time.”

“And what exactly would make a guy worth the time?” She asked. I just smiled.

“I don’t know. But I’ll let you know once I figure it out.”

~~~~~

Our other coworkers – Lauren, Morgan, and Natalie – were sitting in a booth waiting for us when we got to the bar. 

“Look who finally decided to show up!” Nat exclaimed when we walked in. “And you managed to convince Emily to come! Miracles do happen.”

“Ha ha. Very funny.” I rolled my eyes at the teasing.

“Don’t get too excited,” Rose warned them. “Grandma here doesn’t plan on having more than one or two drinks and she said she has to leave by 11.”

“What? Come on, Emily, we’re supposed to be out having a good time! You know, team bonding and all that jazz,” Lauren protested. “You can’t stay out later than that?”

“For the record, 11 is late,” I said. There was a round of groans from everybody. “It is! It’s already later than I’m usually up, and I still have to get home. And I have to be able to work in the morning.”

“Tomorrow’s Saturday,” Lauren answered.

“Yeah, but I’ve got work to do with the horses that I didn’t have time for this week.”

“Like what? Could it wait just a couple more days?” Morgan asked. She was the peacemaker of the group, and even though no one was upset, she probably figured she’d get ahead of things in case that’s where it was headed. “I’m not trying to pressure you. It’s just sometimes I think you work too hard. It’s ok to take a break.”

“Like I need to check Domino’s saddle. He seemed like he was maybe a little sore today and I just want to make sure it’s still fitting the way it should. Penny has decided that the east corner of the arena is terrifying ever since we planted that new tree there last weekend so I need to work with her on that, and I still haven’t gotten Finn desensitized to wheelchairs yet. And you might have noticed how dusty the arena is getting. I need to water it down. Plus, the waterers could all stand to be cleaned.”

“Ok, yes. All important stuff,” Nat admitted. “But it’s not like you have to be there at 8 a.m. You could go in the afternoon.”

“We’ll see,” I said. I wasn’t likely to change my mind, but it wasn’t worth arguing about now.

“That’s about enough talk about work,” Rose said. “We’re here to have fun, remember? Whattaya say we all get something to drink and get this night started?”

“Yes please,” Lauren agreed.

We left our booth and walked past the dance floor to the bar. The bartender was already busy with another small group of people. We talked while we waited and I turned my back to the bar, scanning the crowd for any familiar faces. The other girls were absolutely going to want to dance tonight, and while I might participate for a short time if they really pushed it, dancing really wasn’t my thing. I was hoping to find someone I might talk to while they were busy.

“So, let’s be honest. What do we all think of Hannah’s new boyfriend? Think it’ll last?” Lauren asked. Hannah was one of two coworkers who wasn’t with us tonight. He’d come by the other day to pick her up after a meeting.

“Hmm. I’m not sure yet. We only saw the guy for about five minutes. But based on what Hannah has said… maybe. She’s not overwhelmingly excited about him, but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t work out,” I said.

“Mm, I don’t know. It’s a new relationship. If she’s not excited about him in the brand new, beginning, exciting part of it, how’s she going to feel in a few weeks? Or months?” Rose chipped in. 

Morgan had just started to offer her opinion when I noticed the door opening out of the corner of my eye. I turned to see who it was out of habit. This wasn’t the first person to walk through the door since we’d been standing here. He was the first person that I gave more than a passing glance though. 

If it weren’t for the well worn jeans and jacket he was wearing, I could’ve sworn he’d walked straight off the cover of some magazine. He was easily, without question, the most attractive man I’d ever seen in my entire life. In fact, the word ‘gorgeous’ came to mind. It wasn’t a word I usually associated with men, and yet, I couldn’t deny the truth of it.

I watched as he made his way past the tables and booths towards the dancefloor, heading – I assumed – for the bar. I also noted the appreciative stares of nearly every woman he passed. I couldn’t say I blamed them.

“Emily,” Morgan said, not for the first time judging by her tone. “What are you having?”

“Sorry,” I said, turning around to face the bar. “I’ll have a strawberry daiquiri.”

I tuned back into the conversation as we waited for our drinks. The topic had switched – much to Lauren’s annoyance – from Hannah’s new boyfriend to an old boyfriend of Lauren’s that we’d all really liked and were disappointed it didn’t work out with. 

“New subject please,” she ordered. 

I tried to come up with a new topic, but was distracted by the extremely attractive man walking up and leaning against the bar just a few seats away, waiting for the bartender to come take his order. I watched as he scanned the room, much as I had been doing a minute ago, only with an obvious disinterest. It seemed to be more just something to do while he waited. 

His gaze made its way over to where our little group was standing. Like an idiot, I didn’t look away. I was so used to being the quiet, relatively unnoticed bystander that it didn’t even cross my mind that he might notice me. His eyes locked with mine and he smiled. I quickly looked away, feeling my embarrassment announce itself in a rush of heat to my cheeks. Was that a polite smile? Flirty? Smugness at my obvious staring? 

I gratefully grabbed my drink when the bartender handed it to me and we all walked back to the booth we’d claimed earlier. I took a large drink of my daiquiri and focused as hard as I could on the conversation in an attempt to forget what just happened.

Unfortunately, despite my efforts, my focus was tenuous at best. From where I was sitting I had a perfect view of the bar and the gorgeous man as one at a time, two different women sat beside the seat he had apparently taken for the night and flirted with him. I also watched as one after another, those women walked away disappointed.

“Who are you staring at so hard?” Morgan asked, the first to notice my inattentiveness. I was making an attempt to join in the conversation, but apparently I hadn’t done a good enough job participating. Or – the more likely option, I suppose – she had just noticed my staring. Frankly, I was being very rude. I’d barely looked away from the man in the last hour.

I watched in horror as the heads of every one of my colleagues turned in the direction I’d been looking in. Lauren let out a low, appreciative whistle. I heard Natalie breathe out a wow.

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” Rose said.

“Don’t you dare!” I hissed, grabbing her hand before she could stand up.

“What? Not for me, for you,” she clarified. “We’ve all been holding our breath for the day you finally meet someone. And I know you’re not going to go introduce yourself. Let me help you out.”

“No. Just because he’s good looking doesn’t mean he’s worth talking to. Besides, this is our night out. Team bonding,” I said with the smallest hint of put-on enthusiasm.

“I think I speak for all of us when I say we’d be ok with you bailing out on this one,” Nat said. Rose gave me an ‘I told you so’ look. “Especially for someone who looks like that.”

“Seriously guys, no. I mean it. If you go over there and talk to him then… I’m… just… I’ll leave,” I threatened. “I’d rather go home than sit through that.” 

It’s not that I didn’t want to meet the man. I did. Badly. But I wasn’t ok with my friends going up to a complete stranger on my behalf. That was just sad. Plus, old fashioned as it was, my shyness meant I was a big believer in letting the guy make the first move. 

“Ok,” Rose relented. “Sorry. I didn’t realize it was that upsetting to you.”

“Thanks for offering,” I said. “It’s just not why I’m here tonight. And I don’t know what I’d say to him anyway.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Lauren smirked. “Except maybe ‘my place or yours’. I think that should about cover it.”

“Moving on,” I ordered, which was met by a round of laughter from the group.

“Alright, don’t freak out on me now,” Lauren said as she stood up. “I’m going up to the bar, but I’m not talking to him. I need another drink. Anyone else?”

I’d already had two drinks and didn’t want another, but I did ask for water. Everybody else wanted another drink, so Natalie offered to go with Lauren and help carry everything back. I kept a close eye on them to make sure they didn’t talk to the guy. I watched as he stood from his chair for the first time since he sat down and turned to scan the room again. This time I had the sense to turn away before he caught me looking. 

Lauren and Natalie came back with the drinks and when I looked back in the direction of the bar, I saw that he had moved to the dartboard.

We talked and laughed for another 45 minutes – I hadn’t looked in the good looking guy’s direction even once during this time – and I was glad that, despite my hesitations, I’d agreed to come out tonight. That is, until Rose decided it was time to start dancing. Everybody eagerly agreed and started shuffling off to the dance floor. Only Morgan noticed my reluctance.

“You coming?” She asked.

“Nah. You guys go ahead. I’m not really up for dancing.” The chances of me agreeing to it on a normal night were slim to none. I was not what you might call a gifted dancer and I always felt as stupid as I was sure I looked. But tonight there was absolutely no way I could build up the courage for it. Even though it had been close to two hours ago now, being caught staring by Mr. Leather Jacket left me feeling extremely self conscious. 

“Are you sure? I’m sure everybody would come back if they knew you weren’t up for it. Or I can stay and talk with you.”

“I appreciate that, but don’t worry about it. I’m not going to be the reason the rest of you don’t get to do something you find fun on your night out. I promise I’ll be ok by myself for a little while.”

“Emily, Morgan, get out here!” Rose called. Morgan hurried over to join them. I saw Rose looking at me expectantly and I waved her off. She gave me a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ look and came back to the booth.

“Come on!” She encouraged. “We’re dancing!”

“I can see that.”

“We’d like you to join us.”

“You know I don’t dance.”

“Of course you do,” she insisted, grabbing my hands and pulling me with her. “You just don’t love to do it in public.”

“That implies that I’ll do it in private. I can assure you, that’s not true either.” I pulled my hands out of hers and backed up to the wall. “I’ll just watch.”

“Can you please just come with? We don’t want you to be left out. I promise no one is going to be watching and judging you.”

“First of all, believe me, that’s what I tell myself. And I know it’s true, but I still can’t convince myself of that. Secondly, can you please believe that I’m being sincere when I tell you that I honestly don’t mind sitting back?”

“Alright, fine,” she grumbled. “I’ll let it go. For now. But you’re going to have to join us at some point.”

I rolled my eyes but didn’t say anything in response. She turned around and walked back to our group of friends on the dance floor.

“I’ll be back for you in a little bit,” she warned over her shoulder. I didn’t bother contradicting her.

I walked back to our table to grab my water and then, deciding I’d been sitting long enough, moved back over to stand by the wall. I leaned against it and watched all the people that were dancing. I felt a surge of jealousy at how carefree they were and how every single one of them seemed to be competent dancers. If I wasn’t so hopeless at it, I’d be more inclined to join. 

After a few minutes of watching, I remembered my earlier idea and took another scan of the room, searching for a familiar face. I didn’t see anyone in the table area and turned my gaze to the bar. When my eyes passed over the good looking guy I’d been preoccupied with all night, I saw woman number three – or was it four? – leaving his side with a dejected look on her face.

I finished my search, not seeing anyone I knew in the crowd. I decided to steal one more look at the man, only to find him already looking at me. I froze, unsure what to do. He smiled and pushed off the bar, walking towards me.

Tags: (Let me know if you want to be added or removed!) @123passwort @buckybarnes-1917 @chicken-nuggs-and-cozy-hugs @globetrotter28

[primordialness]

cw: sadposting; gets into some childhood and sibling baggage but not too deep in the weeds; also chronic pain

If you follow me on more than one app, I am Sorry, you *will* see repeated content! But I have another thing to complain about.

Yesterday, I decided I needed to journal about some sister baggage I have. I realized something important: I have always (and often in unfair ways) wanted and expected her to take my side, to stand up for me, to choose me. I've wanted this from many people--to be willing to tell the people who hurt me that it wasn't okay. It's a whole childhood trauma replay thing.

I went to write her a letter about it that I likely will not send, because I have serious problems with her as a person even outside the problems I have with her as a sister. But I realized two things:

1. Rather than making it a blanket expectation, part of me would like to ask her: *do you feel like fighting the generational trauma with me? Because I feel like we could do it--for your kids--if we worked together.* But... I was parentified. I was basically gifted a savior complex in a handbasket with a pretty bow. How can I ask her to fix this when I don't even know how to judge what is and isn't my responsibility to fix? -> that's a therapy question; I am getting it next week.

2. Then I realized... I'm not even choosing me. I'm not prioritizing my own needs. I've had phases where I prioritized one or two at a time, but overall... I am not choosing me, and therefore, I am not showing anyone that I'm worth choosing.

I committed to fixing that. I re-dedicated myself to my sleep schedule, I did yoga so my back would feel better today, and I planned to go to the grocery store today to get some slightly "better" food (that is, food that makes my body feel good; it is not a moral choice).

... and after a totally restless night, I woke up in worse pain than I've felt in years. Every muscle was stiff as a board. Every joint achey. I couldn't get myself out of bed.

At midday, I remembered that ibuprofen exists. I am quite dumb. I took some. It helped a bit.

Took some more later and took a very long Epsom salt bath... but it wasn't really helping enough. I could tell that the ibuprofen was just holding back the flood.

And I was just so fucking disappointed. Here I was, working on my mental health, choosing myself, taking care of my needs... and my body was fighting against me. So fucking disappointing.

But then, the final realization......

y'all, I got my fucking COVID booster *AND* a tetanus shot yesterday. Two things that BOTH CAUSE MUSCLE SORENESS AND STIFFNESS.

I thought I'd totally backtracked on all the progress I'd made on my chronic pain in the past couple of years, but... NOPE. I JUST GOT OUCHIE POKES.

*sigh* getting better is hard. But I'm getting better.

(A memory appears--my ex's last words to me, a twist of the knife: "Please do. Your 'worst' just got worse. Goodnight and goodbye, V.")

(Fuck off, you fucking melodramatic asshole.)

[gayerthanevertbh]

words don’t come easy - part one.

pairings | natasha romanoff x wanda maximoff

summary | natasha romanoff falls in love with an 18-year-old girl from italy, and they began to have countless innuendos encounters. wanda maximoff began to think that their affair was somewhat unbearable while natasha; she has two months left to make the secret relationship count.

warnings | 18+! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED! age difference (7 years apart), major angst, fluff, secret relationship, smut, cheating, and more. 

notes | i posted this on wattpad & ao3 but some people would like to read it here so, yay! i know this will flop, but i don’t give a shit. i love writing this and i love wandanat so much so... enjoy!

1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10

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We'll only stay for a few months. Don't worry about it, Wanda.

We were living in this two-story house that looked fairly old but was still livable since my parents bought it in the meantime. I didn't know when I turned eighteen we were going to a different country, so I was surprised to be woken up by different surroundings. My brother, Pietro, hops around the house like a little kid. There were still furniture paddings on each surface I see – and a big old painting in the middle of the room. Assuming it's Édouard Manet, Le Déjeuner sur l'herbe – which is a classic. I clung to my rib-knit beige cardigan around my body and took a few steps to the patio, where there was a white table the same color as the chairs that looked it's about to perish; but looked comfortable to sit on, I think.

"We have neighbors five minutes away from the house," papa mentioned behind me as I turned my head to see him dropping off the bags onto the ground with a loud thud, making Pietro flinch – I try to suppress a laugh. "Why don't you and Pietro go introduce yourselves? They're very friendly."

"Can we sleep first?" Pietro asked, still lying down on the dusty couch with his arm covering his eye. I rolled my eyes and slapped his upper arm playfully, but maybe with intention too. He groaned and stood up, tucking his button-up white shirt into his high-waisted dark blue cargo pants. Then, I opened the front door and almost shielded my eyes from the sun striking through our pale skins – making Pietro hiss like a vampire.

"Do you think it's too hot to even go out?" I asked, turning my head slightly to look at Mama and Papa, who didn't seem to be that bothered by the warm ray of the sun.

Papa shakes his head, encouraging us to leave the house. "Oh come on, a sun wouldn't hurt, right? Now go, I want both of you to make friends."

Pietro brought out the bike from the van, dropping it onto the ground while grabbing mine as he held it for me. He asked, "I really don't plan to do this, sistra."

"Yeah well me neither," I said, sighing loudly. As if saying: this is such a childish thing to do but I had no choice. Me and Pietro cycled quietly down the path, almost in awe at how greenery my surrounding was. There was a field of flowers on my left, and on my right were just trees and grass. Not even for five minutes we were in some lonesome town that seemed to be unbothered and clean. I saw a house that looked inviting and decided to park my bike there, dropping it onto the ground like Pietro did with his bike a while ago. I could hear him sigh once I reached the front door – almost a sign of regret plastered on my face.

"Is this even a good idea?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. If I do disagree with him, then there wouldn't be any accomplishments that I've done today. And possibly, Papa would be disappointed in us. Sometimes Papa can be hardheaded, very forceful if it's a must. But we didn't oppose it because it was never our place to do so. Without even thinking about my own actions, I knocked on the door. Twice.

The door swooshes open and saw a blonde green-eyed girl who looked like she didn't want to be bothered. I lifted my hand up to wave hello but she cut me off, saying: "You're the Maximoffs, I know. Your father is a very rich man, eh?"

I noticed that she has a thick Russian accent, which wasn't so difficult to understand since she speaks with my own accent once. I nodded and gave her a small smile, fondling the cloth of my cardigan. Then she says again, "If you're looking for Natasha, she's picking some citrus. She'll come back in a few minutes, I hope."

"We're not technically looking for her," mentioned Pietro, which made the girl scrunch both of her eyebrows.

"Huh?"

"We are here to introduce ourselves," I said, dragging my words like I was embarrassed — which I am right at this moment. I can tell that the girl wanted to laugh since her mouth was twitching. If she laughs, then I laugh. Then, we would all laugh like a circus. "I–Well, my name is Wanda. That's my brother Pietro, it's nice to meet you."

"Yelena Belova," she introduced herself, closing the door behind her and leaning against it. She wore a tight white tank top and loose shorts all the way to her thighs. "Ciao, I guess. Well, I could introduce you to my sister, but right now she's gone."

She has mentioned it twice, and I noticed it pretty well. I think sometimes I'm a heavy listener that I do have this hypothetical memory where I absolutely remember every word that a person would say, even a place. I nodded and wrapped my arms around myself, feeling a little uncomfortable from the radiating heat above us. Eventually, she asked us to go to the back of her house and we sat on the bench – waiting for her sister. I don't even know why we were supposed to meet her sister, was she important? I'm assuming that she was. I hear Pietro murmuring: I just know her sister is hot.

I cursed inwardly to myself to even think that way too. Maybe her sister was such incredible beauty that I could make myself gasp and wonder why haven't I seen a goddess like her?

Until I was right, I almost gasped at how beautiful her sister was.

She's a redhead, tall, and stood in front of us with a broad shoulder – looking tough. I'd say she looked more of a masculine side, but she's also feminine with the features on her face. She looked at Pietro, then at me. And as much as I wanted her to look at me more, she removed her eyes away and averted them back to Yelena. In her hand, there was a basket full of citrus; the fresh ones. So that's probably the reason why she's been away.

"They are our new neighbors," Yelena said, making a small smile ahead of us. "Maximoffs, remember?"

Yelena must've talked about us moving here for two months to Natasha since she looked surprised that it was us, the Maximoffs. I don't see the reason why they have to go with that term, it makes me feel like I don't belong somewhere. Clearly, I don't belong here. But I didn't have to worry since I'm not going out of my room anyway for the whole summer after the whole scenario going on right now.

Natasha, I could tell, was quite smitten with Pietro and me. She was shaking his hand, telling him it was a pleasure meeting a boy like him until she came across to me, and we held eye contact for a few seconds. She gently takes my hand and shakes it, her eyes never leaving mine. I blurted out: "Wanda, Wanda Maximoff."

"It's nice meeting you then, Wanda."

Then it hit me. I was extremely attracted to her for only a few minutes of my life. I wouldn't say I was obsessed, I can't even exaggerate with that term but she was charming – so charming that my body hurts from her whipped smile. She lifts up her hand to scratch her nape and I can see the edging details on her muscles. My, she was beautiful and so strong, does she lift? It's a weird question to even think about; but I also can't help it.

Natasha invited us inside her house, which looked very homey and as if someone really does live there. Sometimes, people only use houses to put up a show. Sure, there was nice furniture and great adds onto it; but it never looked like someone was living there in oasis peace. The tiles were very dark orange, leading its way to the backyard and I saw a small circular pool at the left corner while there was a barbeque stand on the right. Turning around, a curved doorway that looked like a Spanish architect led me to the kitchen area. I was very curious about the design that was built in this home, so I asked Natasha who is back facing me: "Did you design this home?"

She turns around, puts two glasses of water down on the dark oak table, and leans her butt against the edges of it. "My friend did, he's an incredible designer. I was the one who picked the color, although he did say that my color choice was awful. So, he tried putting my taste to his idea and now you've got yourself a beautiful home."

I derived a smile that looked like I was about to chuckle or it was just a genuine smile. Either way, she gave me the same treatment and I stood there awkwardly, my hands still wrapped around me. I felt guarded, somehow. I don't know if bringing my arms down would help me from my fidgeting but hopefully – she doesn't notice it; which it seems like she hasn't.

"Where are you from?" her question made me feel nervous, timid, and slightly excitable. It was hard for me to process the words inside my head but gladly, I knew what to say. Although it came out as a stutter as I replied to the kind woman in front of me.

"New York, but actually – I was born from Sokovia."

"Your parents must be wealthy then if you guys get to do this a lot." she humored, making my smile lift up to my cheeks until my teeth were shown. I then shake my head, walking around in circles to stop myself from feeling this attraction for a woman who's probably a decade older than me. Which made me ask: "How old are you? You seem mature."

"Mature?" Natasha's eyebrows lift up, I don't know if she was hurt or relieved by my statement but she responded quickly, "I'm twenty-five, do I look that old?"

She looks mature for such a young age, yet ethereally beautiful; especially with that deep hooded eyes that looked like she wants to attract me as well. I looked at her hand and noticed that she subconsciously dances her fingers on the surface of the wood, maybe three to four times. Then she stops, looking at her hand and then doing the same motion until we fall into this comfortable silence.

"You look great for your age," I tell her with pure honesty. "Are you working?"

She smiles as if pleased with the question I occur and leans more of her back onto the air, both of her hands on the table to elevate her body. "I do photography, graduated from it too. But right now, I'm just working for my buddy Clint."

I make an ah sound as if sounding interested in her whole life job or something like that. I haven't experienced having a job so it's hard to relate to her, especially when she's seven years older than me. I bet she's much wiser, smarter, and ethical. I was immature, hotheaded, and severely infatuated with everyone I dropped my eyes to. And when I met Natasha for the first time, I knew what road I was going to take.

"You? Do you work?" she asked, her voice brightening up more than a while ago. I shake my head; her face makes a weird look. "Oh, so you're a teen?"

"Eighteen," I responded like I was correcting her. Although that age does sound like a teenager too, so maybe I was still a teenager. At least I am at the right age and can do legal stuff; so I hope that won't be concerning for her. "Do I look that old?"

She shakes her head, dropping her head down for a few seconds and then looking back up at me.

"No, I just assumed that you were working."

"I just finished high school," I mentioned, acting like a proud adult who just graduated a few weeks ago. And I was indeed proud of myself; she smiles at me and begins to have this fondness around me that I'm not quite sure what of. "I want to major in writing and journalism. Does that suit me?"

"I think you can, I bet you're a smart girl."

Does she mean that? I don't normally like taking compliments. In fact, I do despise people saying: you're a talented writer, you should make a book! And that would enrage me to my bones until I was fuming. But when you have modesty, sometimes that doesn't mimic your face. So, I never acted out immaturely about it, I would just say my gratefulness and continue to be pissed off over nothing in particular. But it sounded like she meant it, or maybe I was just having this erratic crush on her that made me believe she meant it.

"I'd think I'm a smart girl if you think that way then." I joked, which made my face slightly turn red as I flirted with her in a way that she probably noticed. And of course, she did. Natasha gave me a quick smirk and stood up properly, walking to the doorway and turning her head to me, asking: "Why don't you come with me? Do you want to see my pictures?"

I recognize the way she walked to this shed where it looked uninviting. That's probably the way she's telling other people to stay out of her business, and I respect that. And once I came inside the small shed, I was greeted with red lights surrounding me that almost hurt my eyes. She says, "I'm sorry if it's a bit warm in here, sometimes it gets so hot that you can barely breathe in this hellhole. Come, here are my pictures."

Natasha's photos were eye-capturing. She was more on structures, architectural buildings, and landscapes. But mostly on these gothic buildings that have spikes all the way to the top, I can sense that she connected with more of those things other than taking pictures of people. When she proudly talked so eloquently about her photographic pictures, all I did was stare and admire the way she was so passionate about her hobby. It's something I could fully adapt to in my later years.

To much of my dismay, Pietro and I went back home after a few hours of being at their house. I'd say it was almost a disaster, but it never was ever since I met her. Was I starting to succumb to this undying infatuation over a woman who's almost ten years older than me? Possibly, but as if she would have an idea about it. But as the way she calls out my name rolls out of her tongue perfectly well, my knees weakened as well as my heart.

Say my name like that again, please say it like that again.

                                                      /

"Do you like her?"

I knew this was about to come, Pietro has sensed it ever since Natasha and I interacted like that. I didn't want to say anything about it, merely because I'd get annoyed with the topic and shut him out like I always do. But, I turned around and gave him a shrug on the shoulder; he smirked playfully. "So you do like her, I know. She's very forward, isn't she sistra?"

Acting innocent as I always do, I murmured: "No, why do you think that?"

He mimics my shrug, following my movements to tease me as he usually does.

"Your little boyfriend won't be as happy if he knows an older woman is all flirty with you."

Steve Rogers. The first boy to ever lay eyes on me, the first person to ever hold out my hand. I remember before leaving I gave him my bracelet, as a sign of my affection. But I never really had this idea of being in love with him, it's more like a fling or you're still in this honeymoon phase where he couldn't stop chasing you. And he never did. It got to the point where I asked Pietro back home to tell him I was severely sick; we laughed about it to this day.

I sighed through my nose and shrugged again, laying on the mattress – sprawled out. "He won't know because there's nothing going on."

Pietro smiles, I don't know if it was genuine or if he's smiling to tease me once more, but it did feel real. Then, he mumbles: "Just don't do something that will break his heart."

And once he left, I was alone again – Natasha still remained in my thoughts pretty vaguely but started to become a clearer vision once I remembered the way she would say: it's not just about pictures, it's about how you connect to the piece of art. She was biblical with her words, wise that a philosophical person would act. But there was a charm in her, wittiness too if I may add. I was simply attached to how she took me out of the shed with her hand tangled in mine like it was made to fit. I wonder if I ever become vulnerable to her, there might be something more than just being in this state: friends.

The next day, I visited her again. Although this time, she was gone as Yelena mentioned to me. I forgot that Natasha was a working woman, so I cycled back home with a disappointed heart. And to my expectations, Pietro was there – waiting for me outside by the steps.

"You went to her without me?" he asked with a broad tone but light, then shuffles his hair onto his hand. "Listen, your boyfriend might come here. Mama said to keep your room clean as she says: you never know boys. Poor Mama has to put up with you... huh?"

"You are an asshole," I mumbled, kicking him in the shins. I almost smiled profoundly at myself once I heard him grunting faintly at my back; and began to walk to the patio to see Papa verbally speaking to someone on the phone. He turns and looks at me, giving me a smile. I smiled back but sat on the couch – picking up the book papillon that talks about a man who never gave up on the world called hope. I haven't read the book much, so I started reading it until a few hours later I had fallen asleep.

Natasha Romanoff, Natasha Romanoff, what a beautiful name to say – it almost sounds poetic and dreamy. The constant feeling of her once touching my hand never wavers away like the ocean, I was infatuated. But was I, really? Maybe the city Bergamo wasn't as displeasing as I thought it would be.

And the second time we hung out, it was at this clubhouse were there not so many people surrounded. I saw Natasha wearing this white one-piece swimsuit with her hair tied up in a braided style. I felt nude with my own swimming suit, it felt too revealing but honestly – it was just me impressing her, luring her by.

"I'm happy that you came," said Natasha with a wide smile on her face. Then, motioning me to sit by the bench near the pool. It was a bright day for me, but it didn't hurt my skin; which I'm thankful for. I watch as she sits down beside me, our feet accidentally touching on the sides – I almost felt out of control over my own emotions. "Look, see that girl over there?"

I nodded, looking at the tanned girl with beautiful blonde locks. She continued, "She once gave me my own tarot card."

Being so fond of her own story, I asked: "What was the card about?"

"Something about love life," she swoons, stretching her arms out – which I gladly watch but not in a noticeable way. "That I'd meet the one for me on such an unexpected occasion."

Now, I may overthink this, but was it me? I could've sworn it was me, oh is it me? My thoughts of her destiny swirl around my head like alcohol, getting me all hazed and blurry eyes. But I managed to nod and swing my legs back and forth, biting my lower lip as I was sitting so madly close to her. Then, she says something again.

"Where's your house?"

"It's not far from here," I responded nonchalantly, acting as if I'm not interested in her question. God, was I cruel. I looked to her side and asked, "Gonna stalk me now, Romanoff?"

She laughs and shakes her head, which made my stomach turn into these knots that are untreatable. She picks up a strand of her hair and tucks it back to her ear, replying: "Could be. Hey, I'm glad that I've made a friend in this hopeless town. God knows I need one."

"Don't you have friends?" I said with a cocky tone, lifting my eyebrows at her. Natasha just rolls her eyes and shakes her head; assuming it was a no. Was her life as sad as mine? Then, we were likely the same.

"I do, I just don't negotiate with them."

Then before I could respond to her statement, I felt her hand squeezing my shoulder. I almost flinched from her warm touch, the way she said: I'm going for a swim and I watch her from afar as she does so. She was beautiful, alluring, compelling, disarming – no, far from that. Natasha was never that. But as she makes the butterfly strokes, I mindlessly touched my shoulder; feeling as if she touched me again for the first time. My, I was whipped. The good thing is, Pietro wasn't here to notice that action.

Hopeless. I was a kid. She was a full-on adult, living her life. At least I was at the right age to have this silly infatuation with her.

Our connection was never casual.

thoughts? <3

[eddiemunsonsupremecy]

Katsuki x male reader

Notes: tbh I actualy like to write katsuki having a male partner not bc I think hes gay but bc it's pretty easy to write him like that.

Warnings:

Angst

Tons of fluff

Katsuki was exhausted. He was absolutely done with the shit at work. However he would be getting two weeks worth of vacation time to spend it with you. He had told you to take two weeks off for vacation and you did.

"Oh look it's the kid who 'won' the sports festival as a first year. He was so damn crazy they had to put a muzzle on him haha!" That made katsuki's blood boil. He was so damn tired of being called a monster, it hurt. Katsuki tried shaking it off as he clocked out of work and began his trek back to his car. However on his way more and more people started to notice him and shamed him for how he behaved when he was in his first year of UA. By the time katsuki had gotten home he was visibly upset.

"Oh! Katsu your home, how-"

"I dont want to talk about it.."

"Katsuki...they said some shit again didnt they."

"I'm going to take a shower..." katsuki said while he sulked into your shared bedroom. You sighed softly and followed him.

"Kat, you dont have to talk about it but I want you to know I'm here ok?"

No response. However you could hear katsuki sniffling.

"Baby...come here please?" You asked as katsuki slowly stumbled towards you. "I know your hurting and I am so sorry that you are. I love you ok?" Katsuki nodded and hugged you tightly as he poured his heart out on your chest. You held him tightly and didnt let him go.

"... they dont understand....nobody but you understands....and mabey deku. They dont understand that I was attacked...that i couldnt save myself and had to rely on someone else for rescuing..."

"Sometimes it's good to rely on someone else. You dont always need to do things yourself. It's ok to ask for help." You told katsuki as you lead him to your shared bed. He didnt react when you had layed him on his back.

"I'm weak..."

"No your not. I've told you time and time again that your not weak."

"Do you know why I'm always so damn loud? Hm? Its because I dont want people to see how damn emotional I am...I dont want this facade to slip and..."

"Katsuki. Stop it. Those assholes dont matter ok? I dont care how emotional you are, or say you are, I will still love you." You said as katsuki's eyes watered even more. "Its ok to cry, you out of all people should know that. You dont need to be so damn strong all the time. You can be whatever your feeling with me. That's always what you say to me when I need you." Katsuki let the tears spill out as he sobbed profusely. You looked at him with sympathy and love in your eyes and he looked at you with worry and disappointment in himself. You pulled him to your chest and held him as closely as possible. "I'm sorry your feeling this way, I hate to see you cry but you've gotta let go. I understand that. Your so strong sometimes and it puts so much strain on your wellbeing. I love you so much katsuki." You said holding the blonde in your arms who eventually fell asleep.

The next morning

Katsuki woke up and released that his boyfriend wasnt with him. He sighed and decided to get up. He grabbed a pair of sweats, a long sleeved shirt, a pair of boxers, and a hoodie before he headed to take a shower.

Realizing that he had been crying the day before he growled softly and hopped into his shower.

When he finished his shower and gotten dressed he had headed downstairs to find his boyfriend cooking him breakfast.

"Y/n..."

"Oh hey goodmorning baby. Did you sleep alright?"

"Yeah..."

"I have the whole day planned for us. Breakfast then we can cuddle all day till you feel better."

"Y/n, I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

"For being a burden.."

"Katsuki. Stop. Your not being a burden." You said as you finished making breakfast and turned off the stove. You walked to katsuki and took his hands in yours. "Katsuki, you mean so much to me and I hate that you keep thinking your not worth anything. Your so damn perfect and anyone who says anything different can kiss my ass because they dont matter. Your amazing ok?" You said cupping katsukis face in your hands. "I love you katsuki never forget that ok?"

"Mhm..can we skip breakfast?"

"Nope, your eating breakfast with me." You said pushing katsuki to the dinner table to eat breakfast.

[taegyuun]

biology class

genre: fluff, acquaintances to lovers, highschool au

word count: 2.5k

pairing: jungwon x reader

requested? yes

notes: i hope you like this i really love college/school concepts and i was super excited to write this, also i had to search up topics for biology in highschool so if this seems too easy/hard for a bunch of 16 year olds y’know why. also yes i know in korea they have uniforms but for the sake of this they can wear their own clothes. I've been writing this all day, literally since the second i woke up until now which is 19:05 pm. I'm extremely proud of this so i hope you enjoy! texting is in bold.

yang jungwon.

the campus’ ‘it boy’. everyone knew, loved, hated, or couldn’t decide whether they wanted to be him or with him. people definitely had mixed opinions on him but it was mainly the boys who gave him the glances of evil.

they were jealous.

the kid was known for being easy going, naturally sweet to everyone and academically smart. but one thing that did tick the boys off though, were his talents. sure, there were many boys and girls in school that were nice and pretty and smart but somehow, yang jungwon just had to have it all.

not only could he sing, he could dance too.

not only could he be sweet, he could turn and give the cold glare too.

he was the definition of a perfect boy... and that’s exactly how you got involved with him. let’s just say you were at the brink of being infatuated with him.

but how could you not be? even though you two barely spoke together, when you did - even if it was only about the topic of your class - you felt like he was genuinely interested in what you had to say and it never felt forced. you always felt like he cared; no matter how boring the subject you were talking about was. it had you hooked in a second.

unfortunately, jungwon was popular. infuriatingly popular. and with popularity, the swarm of love letters and beautiful fangirls and fanboys also showed up in the picture. the thoughts of dating him disappeared quicker than you could say, “hello!” to him. it disappointed you, yes. however, who were you to dwell on some highschool boy? sure, he's not exactly the type that you’d quickly forget about the second you graduate but he also never made a real impact on your life other than some minor crush.

well that was up until your biology class.

“y/n and... jungwon.” the sound of mrs. lim’s voice boomed through the filled classroom and knocked you back into reality at the sound of your name. you look up from your hands in confusion and then rendered what she said - you were paired with jungwon for your biology project... that was worth 65% of your grade.

you weren’t exactly worried about getting everything done on time - you knew he would definitely cooperate and do what he was meant to do, but what you were worried about was messing up in front of him. i mean, messing up in front of your crush is the worst second hand embarrassment, no matter how nice they are. you put your thoughts aside and looked around the classroom, trying to find the boy, only to find him already looking at you with a smile and a small wave. you wave back before looking down at your fingers, picking at the skin near your nails. oh boy, you were in for a ride.

as the bell rings, you start to pack your things away, only to be stopped by a finger tapping on your shoulder.

“hey!” you almost feel like you’re in one of the cheesy romcoms, feeling like you had to cover your eyes from how bright his smile was.

“hi jungwon, what’s up?”

“i was wondering how we’re gonna do the project?” you thought about all the possibilities and topics. you could do it at his house, your house, the library and you couldn’t wait to decide on the subject. a small smile appeared on your lips at the thought of working with him.

“uh, what about i’ll give you my number and then we can decide after school?” you words were slightly rushed, as you tried to escape his presence as quickly as possible and get to your next lesson - wanting to hide away from the chilling glares his fangirls were giving you - which you were soon to be late to. he then pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to you before pulling his bag over his shoulder and sending you a pretty smile,

“remember to text me.”

you look at the piece of paper, a few numbers written on it in black ink. you dwell over the thought of having to text him first, but you knew if you didn’t, the project wasn’t going to get done. you thought over it a bit more and realised that your grades were far more important than some stupid crush. you pull out your phone and text a simple,

you: hi it y/n!

you put your phone down, expecting to have to wait a while for a reply and got back to picking at your food with your fork. instead, you're surprised to hear your phone vibrating on the wooden table, a notification with his name already on screen. you place down your utensil and look at the text.

jungwon: hey! so what do u want to do for the project? i think we should decide the topic first before figuring out where we want to do it 

you were glad that he was pretty straightforward and didn't beat around the bush, also that he genuinely wanted to get the project done and that it wasn't you doing all the work like the previous times you were partnered up with someone. 

you: what do u think about the musculoskeletal system 

jungwon: omg i was gonna say lets do smth to do with the skeletal system

jungwon: ok well then the topic is settled where do u wanna do it

you smile brightly at the easy agreement instead of having to scratch at your head for hours to get the other person to agree upon a topic.

you: i mean we can do it at mine if youre ok with that but the library is also an option

jungwon: yours it is then ;)

you look down at your phone in surprise at the “;)”, not expecting him to be so bold.

you: great! tmr after school?

jungwon: cant wait :)

throughout the whole day at school, you kept glancing at the clock, anticipating the final bell to ring so you could meet your project partner at the school entrance and walk home with him. you shake your head at the thought, trying to remind yourself that it was just a project - nothing else. the loud sound of a bell ringing brings you out of your trance, as you excitedly hop out of your seat. “woah, y/n... what's got you in such a good mood? its only lunch, are you that hungry?” you turn around and see jungwon standing with a hand on his bag strap and a few other boys behind him. you lightly laugh and say, “oh I'm just excited to get started on the project... hi guys.” you wave slightly at the boys stood behind him and hear a chorus of “hi y/n!!” following and excited waves. 

“ill see you later, alright?” you slightly smile as you start to walk away. your eyes widen at the yelling and hooting behind you as you look over your shoulder and see the rest of the boys shouting and punching jungwon’s arms, one of them yelling out a, “you scored! she's a cute one!” 

you smile slightly to yourself and lift your head higher, walking towards the cafeteria.

finally.

the final bell rings and you pack your things into your bag, sighing in delight at the thought of finally being able to leave the building. you walk out the class and instead of being able to walk straight out like usual, you see jungwon standing off to the side and gently waving at you. you raise a brow at him, but continuing to walk over anyway. “what are you doing here? i thought we were meeting at the entrance?” 

“i- um, i don't know i thought it be better if i waited for you here, you don't mind right?” he smirks knowingly, already aware of your small crush on him. he didn't find out through you, of course not. you were good at acting neutral around him - not even showing an ounce of adoration. however, one thing you weren't good at hiding, were your thoughts during your sleep. you two shared a free class together, and most of the time you spent it studying or sleeping. you didn't exactly say your thoughts loudly, but jungwon sat close enough to hear some of the things you had to say - him being a common topic of your dreams. he wasn't dumb, he could figure out that you liked him. but he also was a tad stupid - still not acting upon his already existing feelings and asking you out.

thankfully, you being his partner in the project boosted his confidence and had allowed him to create the ‘perfect’ plan of asking him to be your boyfriend. 

“i-uh, yeah! i don't mind. shall we go?” you say, slightly flustered. he nods in responses and mulls over what he was going to do. screw it. he grabs your hand and interlaces your fingers together, “so which way to yours?” your eyes widen at his action, looking at him with your mouth dropped open, before getting out a chocked, “uh, t-to the left.”

“lets get going then?” he starts walking and softly smiles down at you. you subconsciously squeeze his hand and smile back, walking hand in hand with him, steps oddly in sync. you hear a “hell yeah jungwon! get it!” and a loud, “ow!” followed after. you turn around and see jay holding his head in pain and sunghoon stood behind him with a smug smile on his face, throwing a thumbs up to both of you. you turn back around and look up at jungwon, seeing his cheeks tinted a light pink and a shy smile residing on his lips. you feel a soft tug at your hand followed by a clearing of his throat.

“come on, lets go.” you follow his step, hands still interlaced as you two walk in a comfortable silence, once in a while telling him which direction to go. 

“so what do you think we should start with?” you look up from the ground and see him looking at you, awaiting your response. “oh uhm, i think we should just start with getting all the info into notes and from that start making the project. i think we should leave the creative aspects like making it look nice and what not till the end because that doesn't really impact our grades so it isn't that important.” you feel his thumb rubbing you hand in soft circles and feel yourself getting warmer, completely forgetting his hand holding yours - it just felt so natural. he hums in agreement before speaking up once again. 

“I'm honestly so glad i got partnered with you, especially with this being such an important project. every time i had to work with other people who weren't my friends it felt like i either had to do all the work or scratch to the depths of my brain to get them to agree on a topic and on how we should make it work.”

“i totally get that!” your voice slightly raises in happiness at his words, “i feel the exact same way. every time i get partnered with someone, i always have to do all the work and it got so infuriating always having to credit them for something they never did or the bare minimum.” you take out the key from your pocket and twist it into the keyhole, opening the door and hearing the pat of your cats paws coming closer to the door. you both take your shoes off and walk to the kitchen, your cat following behind and waking in between your legs. 

“i didn't know you had a cat?” jungwon's voice forces you to look behind and find him to be crouching down and petting howl. “well, mr. yang, there's a lot you don't know about me, he's called howl by the way,”

“like howl from ‘howls moving castle’?” you smile brightly, happy that he got the refence. “yeah! i love that movie, its my comfort film,” you bring two glasses of water with you as you start to walk upstairs, jungwon following your steps. you both get to your room, opening the door wider to let him inside too. 

“woah.” 

“huh? oh uh, ignore everything - its not the prettiest room,” you say, slightly embarrassed at all the posters and random clutters on your shelves, “no, no! i love it, it reminds me a lot of my own room. its very fitting to you, y/n.” he smiles at you and you simply smile back, handing him the glass of water and hearing a quiet, “thanks,” in response. 

“well, should we start?”

“god! finally!” you both groan, falling back onto your soft bed, sighing at the ceiling. you two had been working since the second you got inside your room until the sun had set; your parents even managed to get back from work by the time you were only one third through your note gathering. you spread your arms on the bed, stretching as you did so. your hand then hits something soft and silky. you look to your left and see jungwon smiling brightly as your hand rests on top of is head. 

the whole time you two were working on the project, you both subconsciously stayed close to one another, as if you were just drawn to the other with an invisible force. even when you took a food break for 20 minutes and were sat opposite one another, your feet kept kicking the other, smiling and laughing quietly with warm cheeks. 

now you laid on your bed, your hand resting on top of his head and staying there with no complaints from the boy.

“i like your outfit,” you observed the comfortable fit he was wearing, oversized black hoodie with some blue text in the corner and loose fitting black trousers. jungwon looks down at what he was wearing before looking back up and smiling, eyes slowly opening and closing, “youre tired, aren't you?” he then opens his mouth, trying to deny your statement but gets cut off by a yawn. he blushes before softly nodding his head and getting more comfortable on your bed, unknowingly bringing you closer to him, eyes already closed. 

“take a nap, ill wake you up when it gets late.” he nods once again, barely conscious as he already falls into dreamland, arms wrapped tightly around you. you feel yourself heating up, both from his body heat and at his actions. you try hard as you possibly can to not squeal too loudly as you brush his hair away from his forehead and press a soft kiss in place. 

a tiny smile forms on his lips as you get more comfortable and start to drift away yourself. right before being sent away to your dreams, you felt a gentle kiss being pressed to your forehead in return. 

he may have not followed his ‘perfect plan’ of becoming your boyfriend but you both got 100% on the project... and a new found love.

[moonlightflower21]

just like magic

a/n: angsty fluffy. normal raph. there may be mistakes and it may be hard to follow through lol. but i hope you enjoy ❤

"y/n!! wait, please wait!!" the call of raph desperately trying to reach you fell on deaf ears as you angrily walked into the public so he couldn't come close.

it was so hard to decipher what you were feeling. betrayal, anger, sadness, embarrassment, pain. sometimes it felt like you couldn't even catch a break. he had been acting so suspicious and you couldn't help but recall what your best friend had said earlier, that when a boyfriend stop texting and calling back they were sleeping around.

he couldn't.... could he?

that one girl, amber, from the chief vincent crew had been crushing on him forever. you learnt that raph and her had a small fling years ago, before he ever met you. but other than that, you didn't know much else other than the fact that she absolutely hated your guts. the feeling was mutual of course but she never failed to make any small digs at you whenever you were together.

so when she came out of his room wearing nothing but lingerie, it wasn't an understatement to say your heart felt it had been stomped on the floor. leo, mikey and donnie were all out with their significant others so they couldn't even provide any help or shed any light on why she was in your boyfriend room

the reason as to why you came around was because you thought of surprising him, considering you hadn't even seen him for the last two weeks. he seemed to vanish for hours on end and while you didn't want to jump to any conclusions, you just had to talk to him. but seeing her come out of his room that he let no one in felt like a punch to the gut.

"when will you ever learn? first loves outshine any other" amber cackled in your face, swaying her hips as she left the lair. you couldn't even speak scared you would start crying on the spot. and the last thing you wanted was to give her the satisfaction.

you entered the room but aside her horrible perfume stinking the air, raph was nowhere to be seen. hell his bed looked empty. untouched. and yet his window was open, so perhaps he escaped? the more reasonable part of you disagreed vehemently, he wouldn't do this shit. and you couldn't trust that woman, she was out to drive you both apart

but this wasn't excusable either. the air felt constricting here, walls falling in closer so you left. angry tears on the brink of falling, the excited evening you had planned obliterated in small pieces.

---

the small bench in the park was empty and you sat, trying to reel in those thoughts but they proved to be a challenge.

"y/n please listen to me, i can explain everything i swear" you rolled your eyes but stood up. hearing his part would at least put your mind at ease and those burning questions could finally be answered.

"you get one chance raphael. let's go to my place, i don't want other people listening in" you look into his pleading eyes, turning the corner and walking home with him eagerly following you close.

raph entered your room, thankful for the heat that flooded his system. he didn't realise how long he was outside and how cold he was until he bagn to shake slightly. he turned his attention to you as you shrugged odd your jacket, brows raised at him.

"no more secrets, raph. no more lies otherwise we're done" you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest. he nodded, ready to answer the oncoming slaught of questions that had been scorching holes in your chest.

"who is amber? and do you still have any feelings towards her??" your voice trembled a little at the end of that sentence, hoping her put your mind at ease. his jaw seem to clench slightly at the memory of her which brought some amusement.

"she's someone i thought i was in love wit'. 17 years old me didn't know shit at the time. after a while, i knew whatever we had was just infatuation. it was never gonna work out. she wanted a relationship while i was looking for something small. but that's in my past. i don't have any love towards her anymore. she was just a silly crush"

"she was your crush? doesn't seem like it" "she was. ya can't be mad at that because you've also crushed on guys before i came but that's a good thing! because they led us closer to each other and look at us" he holds your hand, his thumb gently rubbing over your knuckles which was something he usually did to reduce your stress. and against your will, you could feel those familiar butterflies invade your lower belly.

"but why was she in your room? looking very cosy in there, i might add" your jaw clenched tightly, glaring at the floor in order to contain your anger.

"she what?? y/n i promise i had no idea why amber was even in my room. i wasn't even there. in fact, i'm barely ever there most days" he rubbed the back of his neck, hesitating the last part.

"why?" your brow lifts and he sighs, grimacing.

"well... i... uh... got a job" he chuckles awkwardly, expecting you to burst in laughter. but you just seemed to have a confused look, intrigued at his comment.

"a job?" you ask and he nods, fidgeting with the end of his shorts.

"yeah... in construction. splinter thought it would be good anger management. i started doing it to also pay back for the necklace... that ya don't seem ta wear anymore" he narrowed his amber eyes around your neck and true to his word, you had taken it off. your hand touches your chest, feeling only the bare skin instead. the only reason you had taken it off was because he just kept being so secretive around you. and you didn't know who to trust.

"so that explains the extra muscles on your arms" you ponder and he laughs, flexing his bicep.

"they got us liftin heavy stuff" he rolls his shoulders, aching from last night. "i'm sorry for not saying anything about it. i didn't want to be laughed at" he chuckles but there's no humour in his voice, just nervousness which is rare for raph to ever have.

"you'd think i'd laugh at you?? i'm the last person to judge and i think it's a good thing for you. it's healthy to let your anger out in this way, i'm proud of you. but you have to stop with these secrets, they're only driving a wedge between us" your hand is gently placed on his knee which he appreciates, with you he never feels pressured to say things. you let him take his time which he's never found in other partners before.

"i know i just didn't want ta disappoint ya, i'm not a millionaire and i'm not the greatest looking guy either. i just wanted ya ta be happy at somethin-" "raph, you could never disappoint me. i don't care about money or fame, i just want you to be as serious about us, i just want to be there for you. but i can't do that if you keep pushing me away, hiding these things from me" you sigh your previous anger melting into sadness and relief.

"m'sorry princess, i do care about us. there's just things that i have trouble saying. but i promise i never mean to intentionally hurt ya" he cradles your hand, his gaze on the floor in deep thought. your head gingerly leans against his arms and his finger places comforting circles around your knuckles.

"where is yer friend? aren't ya supposed ta go out tonight?" raph remembered, looking around the room.

"yeah she's supposed to come soon but i haven't confirmed anything" you lean back on the bed watching his amber eyes narrow mischievously. in the way you grew to adore.

"so what i'm hearing is, we have time?" he smirked but you gently nudge his chest, shaking your head with an amused smile.

"i'm still annoyed at you" you chuckle when he smiles softly, his eyes shining under your lights. he leans closer to you, simply just wanting to be in your embrace.

"and i'll spend every moment making it up ta ya. let's just cuddle, i've missed ya"

[themusicplayedherlife]

to love is the greatest gift

3. The Child

pairing: obi wan kenobi x f!reader (past!din djarin x reader | past!obi wan kenobi x satine kryze) characters: f!reader, din djarin, baby djarin obi wan kenobi, anakin skywalker-amidala others word count: 6k+ warnings: angst, fluff, death, longing, slow burn, guilt summary: au! It has never been the right timing for you and obi wan, but maybe this time will be different. a/n: so, this was planned and partly written before we knew grogu’s name, and there’s actually a reason why baby’s name is baby, but probably won’t come up lol — now we’re just upping the ante and I’m not sorry lol if you have any questions about this story or requests, send them my way and I will try my best to answer ☺️

Then.

The loud noises of the bar were swallowed alive by the cars that rushed by and the occasional helicopter that flew overhead—faint music thumping from all directions; neon lights so bright like artificial stars, fading headlights moving in all directions.

Pretty. Picturesque, but not what you focused on for too long.

You moved fast, hand pulsing with pricks of pain and refusing to listen to Obi Wan, who followed closely behind, pleading for you to stop and—will you listen to me? Your determination to get away from him, the bar, and find his stupid piece of junk car in the packed parking lot drove you forward. He already dragged you out, might as well leave altogether—if only Anakin and Padmé would hurry!

“What were you thinking?” he asked after you, voice thick with worry and indignation as he kept up with your quick pace.

“He was being an asshole!”

“So you decided to punch him?” He heaved a sigh, grabbing your wrist and keeping you from continuing (or from running away from his impending lecture). “A man twice your size?”

You jerked away from his hold, refusing to meet his gaze and find disappointed blue eyes staring back at you. “You didn’t hear what he was saying—”

“Oh, I heard perfectly, my dear, but I wasn’t about to engage with some drunkard.” He said it so dismissively and judgmentally that you recoiled, the anger you managed to release earlier coming back tenfold, but this time for a different reason. 

Why did he always have to be so non confrontational, so unlike Anakin and his hit-first-think-later personality? Why couldn’t he allow himself to get angry even for only a moment? Why did everyone else have to get angry for him? More importantly, why did you have to get angry for him? You don’t understand!

“How are you not mad then?” you outcried, throwing your hands up in the air. “He called you—”

“Why would I be?” He smiled, like he knew something you didn’t, and it only made you more frustrated. “I have you to defend my honor.”

“That's—Obi Wan! Seriously?” Maker, he was too much! “Take this seriously, will you?”

He chuckled and reached for your hand, the same one that had glocked the giant’s jaw. It hurt, a lot, much more than you were willing to admit, but in Obi Wan’s hands, the pain felt nonexistent. 

“I didn’t expect you to hit him.” You wished he looked at you, showed you what he was thinking. He squeezed your hand in his, inspecting it gently. “Could’ve gotten hurt.” He sighed again. “I wanted to—needed you safe.”

“I wasn’t going to let him get away with saying those things about you,” you murmured, the cold air harsh in your throat, hard to swallow, but his hand was warm—he was warm.

“I know.” He ran his thumb over the area, careful to not cause you more discomfort—always so careful and sweet with you. But there was something swimming in those eyes of his, a hint of something you couldn’t quite place as they followed the movements of his thumb. 

“I’m sorry I ruined your birthday,” you murmured.

“You could never.” He lifted your hand higher and you allowed him to—let his warm breath fan over your stinging skin. “My little warrior.”

Lips connected with your knuckles—soft, plush, delicate, and your breath hitched—he was never this bold with you, always keeping you at a certain distance for as long as you could remember—his darling, but never truly his.

“I am envious of the person you will choose to spend the rest of your life with,” he said, hesitant—barely breaking through the blood rushing in your ear—wanting to say more than what he was allowing himself to; hand dared to push back a stray piece of hair that couldn’t stay in place, choosing to dance with the wind. “Your future family will be lucky to have you.”

Now.

Din’s love can be powerful and kind. But he is also a man with too many layers and shields up to protect himself from the onslaught of cruelty life can gift to one human being.  

Someone once told you (joked really) that loving him was like the age old question of how many licks did it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop. It was a stupid analogy then and it’s still a stupid analogy now, but it didn’t make it any less fitting.

Anakin never understood your relationship with Din, seeing only the surface level of the man you were once in love with. Padmé saw beyond the gruff and tough exterior, but she grew worried that you’d expend too much of your love and energy to get to where he could finally return it with equalness.

And she was right.

Sometimes, it was too much, and the selfish part of you wanted to walk away many times; wanted to give up the patience that you had thought you’d nurtured and grown over the years. But you’d fought against that selfish part of you, stood strong and tall as you worked through all of his layers of armor. Loved him and his toddler that you saw as your own (because he was, he was much more yours than the mother that left him on Din’s doorstep a couple of years ago).

It was Din who gave in first, the struggle of having someone wanting to be part of his life, wanting to give their all to him was so foreign to the poor man that sometimes he didn’t know what to do other than fight against it—against your love. 

Even if he was the one to end it, there was no denying he had loved you, loved you in ways that were intimate, kind, and sweet. He made you feel things that no one else had, made your mind and body sing in ways that you sometimes search for in other partners.

Although the love you share now is different, like friends that have seen each other grow and blossom into who they are today, you don’t regret the time you spent learning and loving each other. He’s the first real, adult relationship you have ever had (and in a way you’re his first too), after all. You don’t regret any of it.

You don’t think he does, either.

“Are you sure you can watch Baby?” His fretting is still as cute as ever, worried that he’s asking too much of you. He knows Baby is yours as much as he is his, but his insecurities always get the best of him.

“Yes, yes!” You wave him away, too busy focusing on your little one with his chubby hands grabbing at your necklace. Maker, how you adore him. “I don’t have any meetings today”—thankfully—“I only have to go over the checklist for the Winter Charity Gala.” You finally spare him a glance as he hovers by the door. “Besides, people love babies, and if they don’t we could just switch guides or kick them out—either or, isn’t that right, my little womp rat?”

Baby giggles, slapping your chest gently in excitement, his little legs squeezing your middle as you balance him with one hand holding him and the other holding his leg. “Yes!”

He sighs heavily, muttering your name like he used to when you “sacrificed” nights to help him when Baby was teething and wouldn’t let him sleep. 

You roll your eyes affectionately. “Stop it, Din. It’s fine. My work is flexible and besides, I've been wanting to spend more time with Baby during the week, anyway.” 

His expression falls and his eyes fill with remorse, and stars are you a horrible person. You didn’t mean to make him feel bad!

“Din, I didn’t mean it like that.” You would never blame him for spending time with his son. The fact that he even lets you take him on weekends or even spend days with him during the week is such a huge thing. You’re not Baby’s mom, but Din lets you be his mom. “I just meant I love spending time with Baby.”

“I’m sorry,” he croaks.

“Don't be! You do more than enough,” you assure him, berating yourself for even making him think you don’t appreciate what he does for you. “You don’t need to let me spend time with Baby, but you do. You make sure I do.”

“Of course, I could do no less,” he says, soft and warm, like the blankie you and Din bought Baby when he turned one. “You are Baby’s buir. Blood or no blood.” He closes the distance between you and wraps his arm around you and Baby, pressing his forehead against yours. “We are family.”

You look up at him with glassy eyes, and he smiles down at you, kind and tenderly. His own eyes glassy and the area around his eyes red. “Family,” you repeat, heart bursting in your throat.

“Family!” Baby exclaims, making you and Din burst into wet laughter.

“That’s right, ad’ika,” Din says, rubbing Baby’s back. “Who am I?”

“Papa!”

“And who am I?”

“Mama!” It never gets old hearing him call you that.

“Our Baby is so smart,” you coo, kissing his chubby cheeks loudly, making him giggle and lean into you for more kisses that you’re willing to give. “So, so smart!”

There’s a knock on the door and Din moves just slightly to where you could see the door as you ask who it is.

“It’s, uh, Obi Wan.” Your breath hitches, the hold you have on Baby tightening slightly—I’ve missed you, my dear. I will see you soon; warmth on a cold night, hands brushing hair away from eyes and tears away—shit.

“Who?” 

Glancing at Din, you realize you haven’t told him about Obi Wan’s sudden return… visit… whatever this is, not two nights ago when you showed up at his apartment and asked if you could spend the night or yesterday morning when you woke up with puffy eyes and made them a breakfast too large for a family of three. 

His eyebrows furrow in question, trying to figure out who Obi Wan is on his own. He practically knows everyone you work with or are friends with except for Obi Wan, whose picture he has definitely seen and name he has definitely heard offhandedly from Anakin and the others but can’t quite place. 

“Come in, Obi.” It’s a slip of the tongue, an affectionate nickname that you can’t quite stop yourself from saying even in the presence of an ex-lover.

“Obi?” Din mouths.

You really owe him an explanation.

“I’m sorry about my sudden intrusion, darling. Anakin”—of course Anakin has something to do with this—“had hoped we could have lunch together. He’s sent me—” The door opens slowly and Obi Wan peers into the room, almost as if afraid to enter. And with good reason, when he sees Din and Baby his mouth falls slightly agape at the unexpected sight and he trails off. “Sorry, I didn’t know you had company, if I had known—”

“It’s fine, Obi Wan,” you interject softly, hiking Baby higher on your hip. He’s getting bigger and heavier now, harder to hold, but it doesn’t stop you from carrying your little one. “You’re not interrupting.”

“I was just leaving,” Din follows, glancing at you with intrigue and the silent question of—who is he? You exhale softly.

“Din, this is Obi Wan Kenobi, an… old friend of mine and Luke and Leia’s godfather.” Recognition flashes in his eyes. “Obi Wan, this is Din Djarin.”

“It is nice to finally meet you.” Din moves away from you to offer his hand to Obi Wan, who accepts it. “I have heard a lot about you.”

“As have I,” Obi Wan says, stern and firm, guarded and completely unlike the Obi Wan you once knew. 

Din raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything while you groan internally. What exactly has Anakin been feeding Obi Wan?

“What about Baby?” The little one in your arms squirms indignantly and you laugh, finding him looking at you with a scrunched up face, displeased that you haven’t introduced him, yet.

“I’m sorry, honey.” You nuzzle his little button nose with yours, closing some distance between you and Obi Wan. “Obi Wan, this is Baby Djarin, Din’s son.”

“Our,” Din corrects, shooting you a look.

“Right.” You bite your lip to hide your wide smile, ducking your head before nodding. “Our son.”

Obi Wan blinks, taken aback by the sudden information, and you don’t blame him. You’ll have to explain this situation to him, since apparently Anakin and Padmé chose to omit this part of your life from him, at a later date. (You ignore the fact that you have as well, but then again, you weren’t the one that kept in touch with him after he left the second time, and it’s not like you’ve had a chance to tell him since he got back either.)

He clears his throat and a smile settles on his lips, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “It is a pleasure to meet you too, little one.”

Baby is absolutely delighted that Obi Wan is offering his hand, practically jumping out of your arms to shake his hand. Din quickly balances him and you by placing a hand in your back and another on Baby’s tummy.

“Careful,” he murmurs, which makes Baby pout and mutter, “No, thank you,” even though he’s straightening up. Chuckling, he ruffles his son’s curls. “I should get going.”

“Good luck,” you tell him, watching him lean down to kiss the top of Baby’s brown curls. “There’s no doubt you’ll get the job.”

He sighs, a corner of his lips lifting into an unsteady smile. He’s nervous. “I hope so.”

“Hey, you’re going to do great,” you assure him firmly. “You know all the ins and out, and have Cara and Greef vouching for you. You are more than qualified for this position.”

He cracks a small smile. “Yeah, you’re right.” He doesn’t sound super convinced, but he still manages to nod resolutely and picks up his sling bag, but then he pauses. “You sure this is fine?”

You roll your eyes again. “Yes, Din. It’s fine. Baby being here is no trouble at all. The team loves him.”

“Okay. Okay. Just—I’ll try to head back as soon as I’m done.”

“Take your time and don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”

His head tilts slightly, but then he nods, finally relenting. Turning to Obi Wan, he says, “Again, it was nice to finally meet you.”

“You too,” Obi Wan supplies back, it’s still tense and stern, but there’s something else too, something detached and unfocused.

Din doesn’t let it bother him, instead focusing on his son. “Bye, Baby.”

“Bye, Papa!”

“I’ll see you both later.”

“Yeah, yeah, go!” you urge. He shoots you a look and you laugh. “Go.” 

Din finally slips out the door but not without another kiss to Baby’s head.

“Son?” Obi Wan breaks his silence as you put Baby down.

He’s quick to run to his bag and pull out a blanket, handing it to you to place for him on the floor, in front of the blue, grey loveseat. Din and you always place it on top to make it easy to take out, and after seeing you and his dad do it so many times, Baby just knows his ground blanket is always on top.

“Yes.” You spread the blanket out, smoothing it, and Baby tries to help by grabbing the corners and tugging.

“How old is he?”

“Hey, Baby,” you faux whisper, “wanna tell Obi how old you are?”

Holding up four fingers in Obi Wan’s direction, he practically yells, “Thwee, almost four!”

Obi Wan chuckles, thoroughly amused at how excited Baby is to share his age and his inability to truly say the letter r. “Wow! You’re so big.”

“Yes,” Baby says, dropping himself onto his bottom once he’s satisfied with how you’ve laid out the blanket. “Very big!”

“He’s turning four in a month,” you inform him with a smile, sitting down next to your little one. “It’s why he’s starting to put up four fingers. Luke and Leia have been teaching him.”

“So Anakin and Padmé know?”

“Of course they do. Why wouldn’t they?”

His eyebrows furrow and he looks away from you for a moment. “They didn't mention it to me.”

“Oh.” Probably because Anakin didn’t think they’d be part of my life after Din and I broke up. But that’s not what you voice, instead you say, “I figured they hadn’t with how you reacted earlier.”

“Baby is from a previous relationship of his?” He wasn’t, not exactly, but Obi Wan doesn’t need to know what isn’t your information to give. “And you and Din are co-parenting?” He raises an eyebrow, a perfectly arched eyebrow, and it reminds you so much of the young Obi Wan Kenobi that you’d try so hard to impress with your ever growing knowledge.

You’re sure he doesn’t mean to sound like he’s being judgmental, but it sure as hell sounds like it when he stares at you like that—like he’s questioning your choices. You don’t like it. Never did.

“Baby was only a few months old when he came into our lives.”

“You have grown attached.” It isn’t a question, it’s a statement, a heavy loaded statement, one you don’t know if you even want to begin to decipher.

You sigh slowly and say, “Yes, Obi Wan. I am attached.” Baby slaps his hands on your thighs, grinning toothily, and you smooth his hair away from his wide, brown eyes. “How could I not be? We are family. Blood or no blood.”

“I see.” He wants to say more, you can tell by the way he speaks his words slowly, with restraint.

Something bubbles in your stomach, nothing pleasant. It's anger and frustration and this need to yell at him like when you were both younger and less mature. It only ever happened when he wasn’t listening to you, treating you like you had no idea what you were doing or saying. It was rare those moments, mostly born from lack of sleep from all-nighters focused on essays and exams, or sometimes born from nothing at all, just bad luck and circumstance.

It makes you want to push, just like then; to force him to tell you exactly what he wants to say. It’s never stopped him before, so why now? But Baby babbling in full sentences to himself while trying to pull his toys out of his bag reminds you that you are not that person anymore, haven’t been that person in such a long time. And maybe it’s for the best.

 “Wed truck?” Baby asks, showing off the newest toy in his collection, and when you place your hand out, thinking he wants to give it to you, he stands on his two little feet and walks over to Obi Wan, careful to not trip over the blanket. “Cheer up, pwease. Wed truck will help!”

Any hint of anger or frustration or hurt that may have remained, dissipates as Baby looks up at the standing man, his little hand holding onto his pant leg and the other holding up the truck. 

Obi Wan stares down at him, and that earlier aloofness, that stern way he regarded Din, and even you with, is gone, replaced by something tender, warm and soft. “Thank you, Baby,” he says, dropping to his eye level and gingerly taking the truck from chubby hands—the toy that seems so big in Baby’s hand completely swallowed by his larger one.

Baby lets out a pleased giggle and tilts his head, grabbing onto Obi Wan’s knees. “You're very welcome!” With a random smooch to Obi Wan’s nose, he moves away from him and makes his way over to you, grinning proudly.

Obi Wan stands, watching the little boy fondly as you ruffle his hair, giving him a wet kiss to his cheek that makes him laugh loudly. “You’re raising a wonderful boy, both you and Din.”

You pause your onslaught of kisses—Baby managing to slip away from your grasp—and you watch him closely, love filling your chest. “I like to believe we are.”

Baby moves to his bag and pulls out his learning tablet, immediately plopping down with it and opening up the case to pull up one of his many learning apps. It had taken you and Din a long time to finally give in and get him the darn thing, but Padmé had vouched for the item. Now Baby can’t have enough of it, always curious about everything and waving the thing in your face occasionally to ask you a question.

“I always knew your future family would be lucky,” he says, far away look in his eyes and smile barely lifted—there, just not wide. Your breath stutters. “You and Din make a lovely couple.”

Did he not know? Is this why he didn’t know about baby?

“Obi—” Your eyebrows furrow and you find yourself standing, tentatively reaching for his hand—and why do you feel like easing whatever turmoil he is in?—“Din and I… we care for eachother, deeply. He is my friend, the father of my child, but he and I—we haven’t been together in such a long time.”

“Maker.” He breathes in and out, squeezing your hand and lifting it to his face. “I have no right to be—I have been gone for too long, haven’t I?” He rests it against the slope of his cheek, nuzzling into your palm. “Missed out too much on your life. You’ve grown so much.” 

“So have you,” you whisper, allowing him to press kisses to your palm, wanting nothing more than to weave your hands into his hair. You repeat the words, because it’s true. You can see it in his tired eyes, how they don’t shine as they once used to—the lines that have appeared at the edge of his eyes and the beard he’s starting to grow out, keeping it nice and trim.

“Not as much as you think, my darling.” He chuckles, kissing your wrist one last time and just allowing your hand to cradle his cheek. “Appearance wise, maybe. But mentally…”

“That can’t be true. You wouldn’t be here if it were.” Even if it’s only for a couple of days.

“Perhaps.”

Baby giggles and you briefly glance at him. He’s perfectly content, mouthing words and sounding them out.

“If I,” Obi Wan starts, stealing your attention from your baby, “if I told you I wanted to stay, what would you say?”

Your throat swallows—dry, like sandpaper, eyes wide as they study him, searching for a semblance of uncertainty or lie in his words. Perhaps for a confirmation that this isn’t a cruel joke meant to tug at your heartstring and pull them apart until you’ve become undone. There is nothing in his clear, blue eyes that tells you it is. 

But you know that Obi Wan wouldn’t say something like this without it holding some truth.

He waits patiently for you, eyes searching yours just as intensely—but he’s worried, eyes wavering, unconfident.

This isn’t you. This isn’t him. This topsy-turvy, unstable relationship where you’re trying to figure out the other person, learn who they have become in the years lost without asking or finding a reason to talk. No, your relationship was always about comfort, knowing the other by watching and observing, of making the other feel safe—at home.

You know how to respond, “I would say: welcome home, Obi Wan Kenobi.”

“I’m home,” his voice hoarse and thick, “my little warrior.”

Your mouth falls open—the words, the question: “are you truly staying?” stuck in your throat and trying to form on your tongue, but you’re in disbelief. “Obi-Wan, what—”

A small arm slivers around your leg, and you stumble forward from the startle and momentum, knocking into Obi Wan. Strong arms wrap around your waist and pull you upright and steady against his chest. Your eyes lock onto blue ones in surprise and he mumbles a soft, “Hello, there.”

You huff under your breath, mumbling your own, “hello” and he smiles at the sound. Ignoring the flutter in your tummy and chest (blaming it on the stumble you almost took), you glance down to find Baby with an arm wrapped around Obi Wan’s leg and yours, hugging you both tightly. 

“Welcome home, Obi,” he exclaims when you both glance down.

Obi Wan laughs loud, head thrown back and hair falling over his eyes—your heart constricts at the sight. When was the last time you saw him laugh like this—not in pictures or videos but in person? 

Too long, your heart supplies in a broken whisper.

“Why thank you, little one.” He slowly untangles himself from you and crouches down in front of Baby, brushing his curls away from his face. “Would you like to see a magic trick?”

“Magic?” Baby claps, letting out an excited chirp of agreement, ready to be wowed by whatever Obi Wan was about to show him. “Yes, please!”

Warmth takes over you as you watch how gentle Obi Wan is with Baby, which doesn’t surprise you. But it hits differently when it’s your own child he’s being sweet to. Is this what it would’ve been like if he had given you both a chance? Kids of your own? Marriage?

Your phone rings, pulling you out of a spiral of thoughts you would rather not go down when he’s present. You thank the maker for the timely call and answer without a thought—“Anakin.”

“Where are you?”

You sigh, turning away from Obi Wan and Baby to focus on your shelves full of astronomy books. “I’m not coming to lunch.”

Baby squeals in delight and you can’t help the smile that tugs at your lips as he grabs the quarter Obi Wan produced from thin air.

“Is that the little womp rat I hear?” You hummed in agreement, briefly explaining why Baby is with you and not his father. “That usually doesn’t stop you from coming out to lunch with me.”

Baby shows you the coin and you mouth an excited, “Woah, that’s amazing!” He laughs giddily and returns it to Obi Wan, asking him to do it again.

You briefly glance at Obi Wan and Baby and lock eyes with the former. You offer him a small smile before quickly turning away. “You have something to tell him, don’t you? You said you would.”

“I—I know.”

“Not so easy, is it?” you murmur, trying to make a joke out of it, but it falls flat, and you know it does when he sighs.

“I’ll do it. I will,” he affirms. “Rip it off like a bacta strip.”

“Ani, you don’t have to.”

He’s quiet for a moment and when he breaks it, his voice does too, “I owe him this much.”

This much. Clean—the air was too clean when there was blood and death and—stop!

You shake your head and your heart drops to your stomach. Stars. You should’ve figured this had nothing to do with Obi Wan but everything to do with Anakin. Maker, how stupid could you have been? You were so worried about you and Obi Wan that you neglected Anakin completely!

“Ani—“ your breath stutters.

“Darling?” You turn around, and Obi Wan stands only a few steps away from you, Baby sitting on his forearm as if weighed nothing—blue eyes watching you worriedly. “Everything all right?”

No.

“Yes.” You clear your throat. “I think Baby and I will be joining you for lunch, afterall.” Anakin says your name, and you cut him off. “We’ll meet you by the pendulum.” Anakin once more says your name, but you hang up on him.

“Shall we get going?” You meet Obi Wan’s gaze with a shaky smile, pushing your hair away from your face. 

There was never a dull moment when it was you, Padmé, and Obi Wan. Your headmistress used to call you and Padmé trouble, wondering how it was possible you two could influence each other so badly and still keep up with your grades—as if sneaking out and fooling around occasionally was so blasphemous.

Things only got livelier when you graduated and Anakin moved to Coruscant. Thankfully for your headmistress’ blood pressure, you were long gone, starting university and finally moving into the apartment your parents had promised you would be yours (and Anakin’s). Instead, you were giving Obi Wan headaches and Padmé heart palpitations.

Much to their dismay and your amusement.

“Remember when you punched the guy?”

“Don’t remind me!” You groan, clutching your hand. “My hand still hurts whenever I think of that night.”

“If I remember correctly, Anakin also punched him,” Obi Wan says pointedly in Anakin’s direction. “And that ultimately got us banned from the bar.”

“To be fair, he was asking for it.” Anakin shrugs. “I only finished the job she started.”

“Go!” Padmé yelled, louder and with much force than Anakin. 

“What?” You didn’t even get to finish the word as the large man you had punched emerged from the bar, blood caked to his face and eye swollen beyond belief—which you know for a fact you didn’t do. And he wasn’t alone; four other men with menacing mugs followed after him, heads whipping in different directions—until they landed in your direction.

Your eyes widened and your heart dropped to your stomach—that’s not good. “Kriff!” 

Without waiting for the others, Obi Wan took your hand in his and began to lead you away from the parking lot, ignoring your sudden yelp at being tugged in the opposite direction of where you were positive he parked his car. 

“What did you do, Anakin?” Obi Wan yelled back at the twenty year old, who looked far too amused by the situation than he should’ve been.

“Gave him a little taste of what he deserved!”

Padmé yelled something, voice drowned out by a motorcycle rushing by you, but it was followed by laughter so loud it overpowered the sounds of the ever alive city.

“What was it that Padme said while we were running?” you ask, trying to remember with narrowed eyes.

“That they couldn’t take us anywhere nice,” Anakin says with a shit eating grin.

You scoff, muttering, “That’s right,” while turning to Baby to make sure he was finishing his soup.

“And she was right.” Obi Wan shakes his head. “Having to pick up my car from the tow yard was a nightmare the next morning.”

“Hey! Padmé and I thought you two were already in the car.” Anakin gestures between you and Obi Wan. “I was kind of chancing on our getaway car being ready, but no, instead you two were just standing there in the middle of the parking lot.”

Lips connected with your knuckles—soft, plush, delicate and your breath hitched—he was never this bold with you, always keeping you at a certain distance for as long as you could remember—his darling, but never truly his.

The corners of your lips drop and you try to pick them up again as best as you can, hoping it doesn’t look like a grimace. It does. You know it does with how Obi Wan’s smile wavers and Anakin glances between you with a raised brow.

“Well,” Obi Wan starts, hoping to remove the uncomfortable veil that has fallen over you, “it’s a birthday I’ll never forget.”

“It was a good one, wasn’t it?” Anakin takes the bait, recalling that night fondly. “But nothing beats turning 18 and finally moving to Coruscant, for me.”

You laugh under your breath and Obi Wan chuckles, both sounding a little strained, but Anakin doesn't seem to notice. Probably for the best.

“All done,” Baby suddenly celebrates, raising his arms with glee in your direction.

“Good job, you little womp rat!” Anakin reaches for Baby and cleans his face with a napkin, your little one allowing him to do so, unlike when you try to do it. While Anakin might have some thoughts towards Din, there was no denying Baby holds a spot in Anakin’s soft heart.

“I’ll get the check,” Obi Wan offers, waving to get the attention of your waiter. You’re about to refute him, but Anakin nudges your shoe and shakes his head. Sighing softly, you close your mouth and watch him give up his card to the young man that had been serving your table.

“Thank you,” you whisper gratefully and he smiles at you.

“It’s my pleasure, darling.”

With your meal paid and Obi Wan’s card returned to him, you exit the restaurant with Baby holding your hand and walking, refusing to be held and carried to the trolley. It means you’ll be walking slower, but maybe this is exactly what you need to be able to tell Obi Wan—more time.

You and Anakin exchange looks and he gives you a little nod while you let out a sigh—it’s now or never. 

Rip it off like a bacta strip, little one.

“Obi Wan,” you start slowly, “there’s something we need to tell you.”

He pauses mid walk and steps aside to leave an area of the sidewalk free for people to walk by. It’s a busy day, even for a weekday, but it’s not surprising. The plaza and park near the Observatory are always busy on bright, sunny days.

“We’ve been—we’ve been having—” Anakin lets out a growl of annoyance, struggling to be able to form the words. His eyebrows scrunch up and he scowls, and you gently pull him back with a squeeze of his shoulder. He glances at you and you tilt your head to the side.

He sighs and steps aside, taking Baby from you and leading him over to the grassy field to distract him for a few minutes.

“Is everything all right?” There’s a hint of panic in Obi Wan’s words and you quickly nod to try and dispel it.

“Yes!” He’s taken aback by the volume of your voice and you soften your next words, “Everything is fine. There’s just something he’s—we’ve been wanting to tell you for quite some time.” Now that your hands are unoccupied, you wring them and keep your eyes leveled with his chest. “Every year, for the past few years, we—we’ve been visiting your father’s resting place,” you whisper, afraid of what speaking these words aloud might do to him. Last time you tried telling him, he shut down the idea before you could even bring it up completely. 

“I—I see,” he answers with trepidation, unsure.

“Everyone gets together to clean the area and replace the flowers we leave for him when we visit.”

“I—I appreciate it.”

“And when we’re done we go home and we—”

“You honor my father,” he says hoarsely, finishing it off for you.

“It’s what he wanted,” you murmur. And it was. He knows this. He was present when Qui Gon said so. “We would—we would like it if you joined us, Obi Wan. Everyone brings a dish and we have live music, and we share stories—”

“I—I see… and when is this happening?”

“The day before—”

“The day before he passed,” he once again finishes for you and you nod hesitantly, finally looking up to meet his gaze, and although he’s already looking at you, his eyes are glazed over, not exactly focused on you.

“Obi—”

He takes a step back and clears his throat. “I’m sorry, darling. I—I need to go.”

Not again. Please, not again!

“Obi—” you try once more, reaching for his hand, but he jerks away and your hand falls, grasping the empty space between the two of you—again.

“Please tell Anakin I will speak to him soon.” He turns on his heels and swiftly walks away—shoulders tense and never once looking back.

“You must let go when the time comes, little one.”

Your shoulders sag, letting out a shaky breath as Anakin comes to a stop beside you. There’s no need to look at him to know he’s been hurt by Obi Wan’s reaction, because you have been too. But what is there to expect of a person who doesn’t want to let go of the dead?

Obi Wan was right, he hasn’t changed at all, and you were a fool to hope otherwise. 

“Let’s go,” you break the silence, taking Baby from him and placing Anakin’s hand—that hand—in yours, not missing the way it trembles in your hold.

Mando’a translations

Buir = parents/son/daughter

Ad’ika = my child

[hollanderfangirl]

Nothing lasts forever |Harry Holland|

A/N: K, I wrote this for you. @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh congratulations on 1k!!! I wrote this through a writer's block so yeah not my best work

Warnings: angst, mentions of divorce, Harry being a dick

Word count: 3k

They say love conquers all. But it’s not that simple, is it? You meet, you fall in love, you think that love is enough and when things start to go downhill, you realise that it isn’t, after all. It’s the effort, time, circumstances, along with hundreds of other things. You make promises of being together forever but nothing lasts forever. Nothing. And when the promises break? You get your heart broken. But a heart that’s broken is a heart that’s been loved. How can something so perfect, something that brought you so much happiness, something you thought would be yours forever, go so wrong?

When you and Harry got married, everyone knew you were one of those couples who make you believe in ‘together forever’. You had met when you were teenagers and neither of you thought the relationship would last even six months. But there you were, seven years later, having the most extravagant wedding, vowing to never leave each other’s side and to support one another through it all.

The first two years of marriage was a honeymoon period, you both were having the best time of your lives, going on dates often, cooking together, falling asleep next to each other, you wondered how you even got so lucky. You joined him on most of his trips, you both travelled across the beautiful cities of Europe and America together and nothing else really mattered. You loved him more than anything in the world, and he loved you, what else did you need?

When your work was piling up, you knew that you had to go back, although neither of you wanted to leave each other. He was away from you more often, working on sets and filming his own movies, but you were quite used to it to say the least. Spending away nights of frustrations all alone, with no one there for you. But you didn’t complain, you could never do that. You could never stand in the way of Harry and his career.

Two years later, on Christmas Day, you held your daughter in your arms, a healthy and beautiful baby. You and Harry had never been more happy and overwhelmed.

“So what should we name her?” he asked you while gently rocking her to sleep.

“Noelle,” you smiled. “She really decided to make Christmas even more special”

Over the years, you were so proud of your little family, you would often look at Noelle and Harry, playing or reading together and the ‘father-daughter bonding time’ as Harry liked to call it. She was more fond of Harry than you, and that was why it was even harder for her than it was for you. You regretted it so many times, you didn’t want to give it all up, to give him up. But it was becoming so difficult, taking care of a small child all on your own, along with Harry acting like a child himself. It was far too much responsibility than you could handle. You loved him, you really did, but love is never enough.

Now you were cooking in the kitchen with Noelle sitting on the counter, reciting her lessons from school.

“But mommy! We have holidays coming up now!”

“Yes and you will have all the time to play and enjoy, ok?”

“And there’s something else too,” she giggled.

“Oh is it?” you pretend to think.

“Yes! It’s my birthday”

“That’s right, you’ll spend your birthday with grandma and grandpa and your uncles”

“Will daddy be there?”

“Hopefully yeah,” you sigh.

“Will you be there?”

“Of course, sweetie. Mommy would never miss your birthday party,” you pinch her cheeks.

“Why don’t you and daddy ever want to meet?” she speaks up after a minute.

“Baby… daddy and I…” you honestly didn’t know how to phrase it. “We just kind of don’t… talk anymore, you know?”

“Like Tina and me?”

“Yes, exactly like you and Tina”

“But you told me that I should not be angry at her and we should become friends again”

“That is for you, the thing between me and daddy is much more complicated”

“What does complicated mean?”

You chuckle, the questions never end.

You step out of the car into the bitter cold December wind in front of the Holland household. It had been a while since it had snowed this heavy, and you were worried if you would be able to drive in this weather.

“Here you go,” you say as you hand over Noelle to Sam.

“Gosh it’s so cold today, what are you even going to do?” he asks you.

“Go back to the office I don't really have anywhere to be”

“You're gonna work through Christmas? Take some time off, why don’t you stay with us?”

“Sam no-”

“Come on, y/n. How long will you keep avoiding him this way?”

“I- ”

“And what about Noelle’s birthday?”

“I’ll come and visit for a few hours on 25th”

“Y/n, this will always be your home too, with or without Harry. We would love to have you over for Christmas”

“Mommy please, I’m feeling cold out here,” Noelle says reaching out her tiny hands out to you from Sam’s arms.

“Okay fine,” you laugh.

As you get inside the house, Noelle jumps off from Sam and starts running into the house.

“Daddy!”

“Oh my little princess I’ve missed you!” you see Harry run from the living room, picking up Noelle and kissing her forehead. “How have you been? Have you been good? Otherwise who’s gonna get all the gifts?” he pretended to say in a childlike voice.

Your heart warmed up at the sight, your lips curling into a smile. It had been so long since you had seen the two of them reunited like this. Everytime you went to drop Noelle off at Harry’s house, you just waved from the car, not even caring about what happened afterwards.

He seemed a little surprised to see you there and you weren’t sure if it was a good surprise or not.

“Y/n… hi”

“Hey Harry”

“You um changed your hair”

“And you’re wearing the same old sweater”

“No this is a new sweater it’s uh-” he says trying not to continue with an awkward silence. “It’s the old sweater,” he shrugs, making you smile

"Y/n! What a surprise," Nikki calls you from the living room. "It's so nice to have you here over Christmas, everyone misses you so much"

You walk over to meet everyone as Noelle calls Sam to the side.

"Hmm what's up?" he asks the little girl.

"I know how mum and daddy can talk"

He lets out a laugh. "What? And why's that?"

"Mommy said that she and daddy don't talk anymore and that's the only problem. We just have to find a way for them to talk and become friends again"

"What's your plan, genius?"

And then she told him.

After dinner that night, you were sitting on the front porch with Sam. He was your friend, someone who you could always turn to. All of Harry's family was like that. When you both got divorced, you thought you would lose contact with the Hollands, you didn't want to lose them too because they were just like your own family but the bond didn't change, Sam helped you get through it, just like he helped Harry and he was the one who had tried to resolve things between you both.

"I still don't understand. You both were doing just fine, better than fine. All of you were so happy, what even happened?"

"Sam… Harry and I haven't even talked about what went wrong between us. Everytime we tried to talk, something came in between"

"Then talk now, you have plenty of time"

"How does it even matter now?"

"It does. I've seen how miserable you two are, you don't even want to see each other. I know you both still have something"

"We have Noelle," you say as a matter of factly.

"You know what I mean. You both love each other"

"See that's the thing with love. Love doesn't help me take care of a four year old all on my own, Sam. She misses him so much. She just keeps asking me when she'll get to see her father. He never made time for us"

"I know he's been a kind of a jerk"

You raise an eyebrow at him.

"Okay a big jerk, but he cares about you and Noelle. I'm not asking you to get back together but at least talk and resolve whatever beef you both have"

"We can't"

"Why?"

"It's just… I don't even know"

There was a long silence. If it was summer, you would have been hearing the crickets chirping but at this hour of a cold winter night, all you could hear was the faint distant noise of the faraway traffic.

"How about this, you both go out tomorrow, just for an hour or two, hang out, talk, just say whatever you had been holding in all this time"

"You're setting us up on a date?"

"Not a date. You both just need to talk, right? So you just need some alone time"

"Has Harry agreed to this?"

"He definitely would"

"No, it'll be too much. And what about Noelle?"

"What about her? We're all here to take care of her. You just go and talk this over"

You lay awake at night thinking about the happy times you had with Harry. How did things go so so wrong?

Two years earlier

"Harry, the opening ceremony is on Friday, it's huge for the company!"

"Yes I know, love. I really wish I could make it"

"What… do you mean?"

"I'll be leaving for Atlanta two days from now"

"But it's important to me and everyone will be asking for you"

"I'm so sorry, baby but I have to go"

"You've done a great job, y/n. Where's Harry? I'd love to meet him," your manager asks you at the after party of the opening ceremony.

"He couldn't make it tonight. He really wanted to be here"

"Where's your husband, miss y/l/n? This is such a big day for you!" another one of your colleagues asked you later that night.

"He's really disappointed he couldn't be here but duty calls," you tried to hide your loneliness and sadness through a smile.

"Y/n! I haven't seen Harry tonight…"

"How's the movie coming up?" you were talking to Harry at 2 in the morning, time zones were driving the both of you crazy.

"It's going great! The location is amazing, I think we could shoot the whole film here. I just wish you were here I miss you so much"

"I miss you too, just come back home," listening to his voice seemed to make you even lonelier.

"I will," you hear music playing in the background and the noise of people cheering and talking.

"What's happening there?"

"Ah they're throwing a party in my honour, it's been such a success-" you heard a woman laugh right beside him.

"So are you having a good time?"

"Yes I am I just-"

"Then you should go back to it. Bye"

"But y/n-"

You were still working when he came back from the airport and you immediately rushed home after you were free.

When you saw him, you felt as though you were seeing a stranger. He looked different and he felt different and he looked tired than ever. Nevertheless you jumped on him and hugged him tight, making sure he was real.

"Oh god I've missed you, more than you could ever know," he stroked your hair and kissed your forehead.

"Really? Then show me how much you've missed me," you say as you lead him into your shared bedroom.

"I'm so sorry I missed your opening, darling I really wanted to be there"

"It's alright, we have another celebration next month, you can meet everyone there"

"Oh I can't make it to that either, I have to get away again after three weeks"

"But you just came back! And Noelle is just two years old, how do you expect me to take care of her and go to work?"

"There's nothing I can do, y/n. The contracts have already been signed. This is my big break, it's important to me"

"And our marriage is not? Your daughter is not?"

"You both are the most important to me," he put his calloused hands on your cheeks. "But you knew this was what our life would be when you married me"

"Everything has changed since then, Harry. We have a child now and we're so happy here. Why do you have to go away halfway across the world for months"

"Nothing has changed. I still love you the same and our careers are still as important to us as before"

"You could have at least talked to me about this"

"Yes I'm sorry. Everything will be alright once I return, I just have to go now"

Harry couldn't focus on work that day. He just kept replaying the conversation he had with you before leaving.

'I can't lose her. I really can't," he thought. 'Oh my god I love her, I love her so much. We have to find a way to make this work'

And ten thousand miles away from him, you sat all alone on the bed, thinking, 'this will not work, we're so happy, why does he want to give all of this up?'

"We're not teenagers anymore, y/n. Now I want something and you want something else, our worlds are different"

"So we just let it go?"

"I'm not saying that we have to let anything go, but it's my career, y/n. For the first time in my life, things have finally started to move and I don't want to lose anything"

"Harry… I have always supported your career. I have always supported your dreams. But you can have everything you want right here with me and Noelle. You don't have to leave"

"You're not even trying to understand"

"I'm understanding everything. I can't do this anymore, I'm not another one of your fans, Harry. I can't just keep on chasing you like this"

"Ice skating? Really?" you say as you see the long sheet of ice that lay on the ground in front of you, there were only a few people as it was a cold day. Everyone was probably snuggled up in bed with some warm coffee rather than going out on a date with their ex husband.

"We can go somewhere else if you want, there's a restaurant-"

"No this is fine. After all Noelle chose it"

He helps you put on your skates and you both hold each other, trying not to lose balance until you reach the ice rink.

"Ah that's it," he lets go of your arm but still holds your hand in his.

"Wait what did you mean Noelle chose it?"

"You don't know your daughter, Mr Holland. She's grown up to be quite the matchmaker," you laugh.

"You remember how we used to come here?" you smile at the memories, you and Harry used to go ice skating almost every week in winters. Although neither of you were the best at it, you loved the times you spent falling and laughing and later on having hot chocolate in each other's arms.

"Yeah," he tries to hold your other hand as well. "You remember the Christmas Noelle was born? I miss taking her out ice skating"

"Of course I remember," you sigh. "Eighteen hours of labor, and I was alone. You couldn't even make it in time for the birth of your own daughter"

"She was supposed to be born in January, how could I have known she would come in so early?"

"Well you always have the excuses ready, don't you?"

"It's not an excuse, it's more of an explanation. The flights were all booked, I mean it was Christmas! And I did reach the hospital in time"

"You reached the hospital when she was all cleaned up and in my arms"

He stays silent for a few moments and then speaks, with a gentler tone. "Y/n I'm sorry, I really am"

"You always said that, yet you never did anything to understand what went wrong"

"I was just so caught up in my life, I mean… there was so much work. I know I didn't spend much time with you both and-"

"It wasn't even about spending time, Harry. The thing is, you were never there for us. When I needed you the most, you weren't there. Even your brother understood that I needed someone but you didn't. You're just so-" you choked on the words.

"I know, and all I can say is that I've messed up, big time. I know you can't forgive me"

"Oh I've forgiven you a long time ago, Harry"

His hair was all messed up from the wind, going wild in all directions like a crown on his head. His nose and cheeks were turning red from the cold and all you wanted in that moment, was just kiss him. You wanted to feel his cold lips on yours until they turned warm. You wanted to hold his hair in your fingers, you wanted to touch him, you wanted to feel him. You wanted everything you once had. You wanted him back.

"I remember everything about you, you know?" he spoke up. "How can I ever forget? I remember how much you loved reading and how you hated it when I left my clothes on the floor. And how you keep your socks on during sex"

"You just had to bring that up" you roll your eyes and laugh.

"The thing is, I love you. I always have, even now when we're.... over, I still love you. I never got over you"

"Harry-"

"Y/n, what we had, it was something else. You're… the only woman I've actually ever loved in my life"

"And you're the only one who I've loved in my life. But we can't go back now"

"Why? Why can't we give it another chance? Give us another chance?"

"It didn't work the first time, why do you think it'll work now?"

"I don't. But I'm miserable without you and we're different now. I've lost you once and I'll never make you feel like I'm busy for you, ever again"

"Are you sure? I'm tired, Harry. I'm so tired, I really cannot go through this if everything goes wrong again"

"It won't. I promise you, let's give us another chance, please?"

You looked into his eyes and you knew the answer.

*･ﾟﾟ･*:｡:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　

🌻

Taglist

@mischiefmanaged011 @notsosmexy @drie-the-derp @justanothermarvelmaniac @amorhollands @thisetaernallove @calltothewild @fancyxparker @peterspideysstuff @musicalkeys @theliterarymess @hollands-weasley @tommysparker @god-knows-what-am-i-doing @parkerpeter24 @more-like-reyna @hollandbroz-n-haz @aqiise @sarcasticallywitty15 @spiderrrling @theonly1outof-a-billion

[alj4890]

Misfortune's Intentions

(Liam x OC* Elisse Mallin) (Drake x Riley) in a Choices The Royal Heir fan fiction

A/N This idea came to me one night when I couldn't sleep. In this version from The Royal Heir, it has been nearly three years since Riley married Drake. Their infant daughter, Hope, was named heir to Cordonia's crown. Liam considers the possibility of dating after pining for Riley all these years. Elisse is a noble and first cousin to Queen Amalas of Monterisso. She will eventually become an ambassador, settling in Cordonia to continue Amalas's alliance. She also has a small bit of significant history coinciding with Liam's social season. This first part though will take us through the past for our main characters.

Not sure who to tag for this new miniseries, LOL. Let me know if you want to be added.

Masterlist

Prologue

Two years ago, Cordonia...

"To keep people's attention away from your brother's," Constantine's voice hardened, "decision to abdicate," his fist clinched for a moment, "we will have you participate in a season for a potential bride."

Liam swallowed uncomfortably. He knew there was a possibility his father would insist on this particular custom. He had hoped though that like Leo, he would be given a few years reprieve before he had to choose a bride.

Constantine fought through the chest pain he hid from everyone as he continued to explain what the next few months would be like for his only obedient son.

"We will have the usual bevy of ladies from Cordonia's noble houses. Perhaps sprinkle a few from other countries to appease the people."

"Yes sir." Liam mumbled when his father seemed to silently demand his agreement. "Whatever you think is the best way to move forward."

"Good." Constantine waved toward the door. "You may go. We will make our announcement tomorrow."

Liam bowed his head in acceptance. Still in a state of disbelief as he made his way to his chambers, he didn't hear his best friend calling his name.

"Liam?" Drake jogged to catch up to him. "I heard about Leo. Is it true?"

The new crown prince waited to answer until they were behind closed doors.

"It is." He rubbed a hand down his face. "Leo abdicated."

Drake poured them both a drink. He observed the slight tremble in Liam's hand as he took a healthy gulp of whiskey. Eyes closed briefly as he gathered his thoughts.

"I--I'm going to have to get married."

"What?" Drake breathed in disbelief. "Why?"

"All part of being king." Liam's lips twisted in a bitter smile.

He rolled his glass between his hands as he stared down at its contents. "I have to choose one during this year's social season."

"You have to go through all that Leo did?" Drake asked.

"Yes, but unlike his, I won't know who I'm supposed to choose." Liam grimaced as he swallowed the rest of his drink. "Madeleine had been chosen years ago by Father and Regina. The competition was mostly for the public's entertainment than to actually choose a queen."

Drake slumped back in his chair. "I'm sorry, Liam."

"It's..." He got up to pace, "it's fine. It's an honor to have a chance to serve my country. To marry and have a family...perhaps life will be better."

Perhaps this palace will feel like a home, he thought.

"When will it be announced?"

"Tomorrow."

"So soon." Drake murmured.

Liam briskly nodded.

His closest friend held his glass up in a toast. "Here's hoping, Liam."

*****************

Monterisso Royal Palace, a week later...

"Elisse." Amalas hugged her cousin. "Thank you for coming so quickly."

"Of course." Elisse took the offered chair. Her eyes dropped down to the baby bump showing. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." Amalas gently patted her tummy. "This baby has finally decided I'm not the enemy and has agreed that food is definitely a good thing."

Elisse laughed, shaking her head at her cousin's humor.

"But enough about the spoiled future king or queen I’m having." Amalas handed over a letter with Cordonia's royal seal. "Read this."

Elisse scanned the invitation, eyes widening slightly. "Prince Leo abdicated? Do we know why?"

The spy queen chuckled. "You know I do." She leaned over and grabbed a file off her table. "Let's just say that the former crown prince did not want the responsibilities that went along with the crown."

Elisse opened the file and snorted. "I've heard that Lady Madeleine can be difficult to deal with."

"That along with wanting his freedom to wander the earth like a rich playboy are his reasons." Amalas pointed out a photograph one of her agents snapped recently on a cruise ship. "This woman, Katie, is an even bigger reason."

"They're engaged?" Elisse whispered in disbelief. "He didn't waste any time, did he?"

"No, he did not." Amalas reclined in her chair. "Elisse? What would you think of Monterisso gaining an alliance with Cordonia?"

"I think it would benefit our country as well as theirs." She replied, setting Leo's folder down.

Another folder was handed to her. Her lips curved into a soft smile at the pictures of Cordonia's new crown prince. Each aspect her cousin found on Liam had made him a man she thought she would enjoy meeting.

"Marriage is the easiest and strongest alliance one can have with a foreign power."

Elisse looked up. "You're suggesting  I take part in Prince Liam's search."

"Exactly." Amalas smiled at her. "I can't think of a better queen for Cordonia than you." She reached over and grasped her hand. "But feel free to say no. I won't force you to do this if you do not wish to."

"I would like to meet him." Elisse admitted. She lowered his eyes to his picture. "He is very handsome."

"You always did like blue eyes." Amalas teased.

Elisse bit back a smile. "I do."

"Would you like to attend Cordonia's social season?"

Elisse slowly nodded. "Yes, I think I would."

Amalas picked up the letter from Constantine. "I'll go ahead and schedule your health exam."

"My what?" Elisse blinked in surprise.

"Cordonia's king isn't taking any chances that his last possible heir marries a woman unable to have children." Amalas grinned at her cousin. "Lucky for him that our family is notorious for our reproduction abilities."

Elisse laughed. "Our mothers certainly came from a large family." Her smile turned tender. "Whenever I think of my future, I always see myself with three or four children."

*****************

A few weeks later, Cordonia, the King's study...

"Have you made a list of those that are participating?" Regina asked her husband.

"I have." He handed her a sheet of paper.

The Queen scanned the names. "What happened to the Monterisso viscountess? I thought from Queen Amalas's letter that they were hoping to make a match."

Constantine's lips firmed in a disappointed frown. "She cannot have children."

Regina's countenance fell. "How tragic."

"Indeed." He replied. "It would have been a profitable match for us." He released a resigned sigh. "I suppose we now settle for Madeleine to take the crown again."

***************

The viscountess's chambers, Monterisso Palace...

"Elisse." Amalas pleaded. "Please, talk to me."

The young viscountess shook her head. Tears fell silently as she clutched a pillow to her stomach. Her thoughts were too much for her. All the plans she had dreamed of as a little girl were destroyed from one simple examination.

All from thinking Liam had beautiful blue eyes and seemed like a nice man she could easily fall for.

A choked sob burst forth as she doubled over from the pain of it all.

"Elisse." Amalas tried to wrap her arms around her. "I'm so sorry."

Elisse knew her cousin was. She knew Amalas would move heaven and earth for her if she could. Unfortunately, there were some things even a powerful queen could not do.

"We'll call in every specialist we can find." Amalas whispered, gently rocking Elisse. "I refuse to believe--"

"Stop!" Elisse cried out. "Please stop." Her anguished eyes met her cousin's. "I can't continue to hear doctors say that it is impossible."

"It's not." Amalas argued. "I can’t believe you are unable to--"

"I only have one ovary!" Elisse snapped. "It is so damaged from the endometriosis and benign tumors that I'm lucky to have a period every few months." She looked down at her worthless womb. "Even my uterus is filled with fibroids to the point they have warped it beyond repair. Surgery won't help." She wiped angrily at her tears. "No one will marry me now."

"That's not true! You--"

"Amalas, you know what nobles need." Elisse bit out. "They need heirs. They need a woman to fulfill that role. I'm completely obsolete in our world now."

She turned away from her cousin's sudden tears. She didn't want her pity. She didn't want anything except those elusive images of cuddling her own children.

If she could turn her mind off and focus on something else, anything else...

"I'm going to go away for a while."

Amalas jerked upright. "What?"

"I need to be alone." Elisse turned to face her. Her eyes filled with tears when her gaze dropped down to her cousin's ever growing baby bump. "I need to come to terms with all of this."

"Will you back in time for..." An expression of guilt flickered over the queen's face for such a selfish question.

"I'll try." Elisse hedged. "I promise."

She knew Amalas depended on her. Though the two had numerous cousins sprinkled in various titled positions all over Europe, they had always had a special bond that made them more like sisters. Perhaps it was their mothers' doing that made certain they would always have the other close at hand.

But Elisse knew deep down, she would have been close to her cousin without any outside influence. The notorious Queen of Spies distrusted most people, even some of their blood relatives. Yet, she trusted Elisse with everything.

She hated to leave her during her pregnancy, but the viscountess didn’t think she could take being around an expectant mother right now.

Amalas hugged her once more. "I'll arrange your travel. But I insist you take Felix with you as a bodyguard." She waited on Elisse's agreement. "Let me know where and when you wish to leave."

"I don't care where." Elisse whispered. "Just as long as I can leave as soon as possible."

***************

New York City, a month later...

"One nondescript bar as requested." Maxwell announced, holding the door open.

"Steaks for the table!" He yelled out.

"And four whiskeys!" Drake chimed in.

Riley rolled her eyes at Daniel. "You're really going to leave me with these guys?"

"I promise I'll work two of your shifts whenever you want." He bargained.

She let out a tired sigh. "Make it three and we have a deal."

He shook her hand. "You are brutal with negotiations."

She laughed, piled the tumblers of whiskey on her tray, and headed for the bachelor party.

She passed three drinks out. "I thought there were four of you."

"There are." Drake winked at her, causing a blush to form on her cheeks. "Right behind you is number four."

She turned around and blinked.

He's so handsome.

Liam smiled at her. "Pardon me, Miss?"

"Hmm?" She shook herself out of her daze. "Of course."

His smile flashed, making her knees feel slightly weak. "If you would..." He gestured toward his seat that she was blocking.

Her cheeks flared even more with color. "Right. Sorry."

She decided then and there to not allow her eyes to rest on him the remainder of their time here.

A few hours later, Liam approached her.

"Thank you for being so patient with us." His charming smile was a bit bashful. "I don't suppose I could repay such kindness with buying you a drink."

Riley found herself mesmerized by his blue eyes. "Where were you planning on going next?"

"I actually hoped you could help with that." He rubbed the back of his neck. "The guys hoped to go to a nightclub."

Her nose wrinkled. "I say forget the nightclub. There's a beach cove I could show you that is just the place to unwind."

"That sounds perfect." He held his hand out. "Shall we?"

****************

Six months later, Edenbrook Hospital, Boston...

Elisse chewed on her lower lip, wishing she could hear what the group of doctors were saying behind the glass partition.

After taking her file and passing it to a man in surgical scrubs, Dr. Ramsey walked back into her room.

"Ms. Mallin, after further examination," his expression gentled, "I believe your doctors in Monterisso were correct."

Elisse lowered her eyes. "I see."

"I still want to perform the surgeries we discussed." He sat down beside her hospital bed. "The severe pain in your uterus will only increase if we don't remove the fibroids. Dr. Tanka isn’t sure though how it will be after your surgery."

"Whatever you think." She closed her eyes tight. "It doesn't really matter what shape it is in. I suppose we should just remove it altogether."

Her doctor rested his hand over hers. He waited patiently for her to make eye contact.

"We won't know for certain until Dr. Tanka gets in there, but we believe we can save your ovary."

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. "By all means, hold on to that worthless body part."

His brow furrowed. "Elisse, I don't like the thought of you in this state of mind before surgery."

"I'm sorry." She replied automatically. "I don't mean to sound like this." Her gaze held his. "I--I never wanted much in life." Her shoulder lifted. "Perhaps it was the life I was born into, but having a family was more than passing on my noble title."

Ethan remained silent, allowing her time to express herself.

"I know I need to accept this, but I couldn't help but hope after reading about your diagnostic team," She rested her head back against her pillow, "I wanted the impossible."

"There's still a chance your uterus can remain intact. We might even be able to save some of your eggs." Ethan reminded her. "You could find a surrogate and--"

"I know." She sniffed. "And I also know there is a chance my eggs might not be in any shape to be saved."

She noticed his frown and gently squeezed his hand. "Thank you for trying, Dr. Ramsey."

"We're not done yet." He stood up when Dr. Tanka walked inside. "We'll talk more later."

Once everything was settled for her surgery in the morning, her bodyguard returned and kept vigil by her bedside.

"Felix," Elisse smiled softly at the middle aged man. "You should go to the hotel and rest."

"I'm fine m'lady." He grumbled.

Her eyebrow lifted at the six foot seven man. "That chair has to be uncomfortable."

A flicker of humor flashed in his eyes. "I've had better and worse, m'lady."

She began to laugh. "I can't imagine anything being worse than that."

"You haven't been on some of the queen's missions." He smiled warmly at her.

Elisse reached for his hand. "Thank you for watching over me."

He gently patted it, becoming gruff with his words that a lady didn't have to thank him for doing his job.

She smiled, taking comfort in his admonishment. Felix had tried to keep a professional distance from her, yet her sadness had him stepping in more and more to offer what comfort he could. He thought of her as a little sister and couldn't help but smile whenever she teased him as if he was family.

Such fondness for her added to the devotion and care he would have normally never given any other noble he was assigned to.

But Elisse was special. He hoped that somehow she would find a piece of happiness that could be all her own.

****************

New York, Statue of Liberty...

Riley swallowed nervously. She didn't know how she could refuse Liam, but it was no use.

After spending so much time with Drake while Liam kept up appearances with Madeleine, she had fallen out of love for Cordonia's new king. The grumpy commoner had touched her heart with his stories of not belonging. She had felt the same way while enduring every snub and insult from Madeleine and some of the other ladies at court.

With so little opportunities to be with Liam, and with feeling a bit hurt that her Prince Charming had not defended her against the allegations, she convinced herself that she had no choice. She had to be with the man that had stood by her side as she tried to locate Tariq.

"Liam, I can't marry you." Her words somehow came out steady. "I came to Cordonia for you, but I fell in love with Drake."

Liam took a step back. "What? You and Drake..."

He couldn't believe it. How had this happened without him noticing? He knew that Drake was fond of her and took her out some evenings. But love?

"Liam?" Riley was growing more nervous by his silence.

Liam couldn't think of what to say.

What should I do?

He only knew he wasn't ready to lose her from his life.

"You...you intend to live in Cordonia?"

She slowly nodded. "If that's okay. I want to see where things go with Drake."

Her words were another bitter slash to his heart.

"Of course." He slid his hands in his pockets to keep from grasping her and forcing her to take her words back. "Just because you don't feel as I do, I would never hold that against you. Cordonia is your home."

She visibly relaxed. "Thank you Liam."

"I think," he focused on her, "I think you will be a benefit to Cordonia. I'm going to make you a duchess."

"A duchess?!" She gasped. "But..."

He knew this would keep her at hand. Give him a reason to see her without appearing as the desperate, rejected suitor. Perhaps now that the scandal was over and things calmed down, she might realize that what she thought was love for Drake was nothing more than gratefulness for his assistance.

Am I wrong for hoping this? Should I instead hope their love is true?

Liam forced a smile. "I arranged for us to go to the top." He motioned toward the statue. "Would you still like to?"

Riley returned his smile. "I really can't pass up an opportunity like that, can I?"

"I hoped you wouldn't." He replied.

He followed behind her, wishing this night had ended differently.

***************

Another five months later, Cordonia...

"Anton and his minions are in chains!" Riley held her glass high as the court cheered.

Liam tugged at the stiff collar of his jacket. It had been a day filled with emotions that he could not share with a single soul. Seeing the woman he thought he loved marry his best friend had cut deep. Discovering they had been kidnapped had caused both anger and worry as he rushed to face down the man who dared to take the throne from him.

Witnessing Riley and Drake fight side by side, each trying to protect the other had been eye opening. Neither cared about anything other than keeping the one they loved safe.

He couldn't begrudge their happiness. Nor could he continue to wish that circumstances had gone differently. Riley was not meant for him after all.

He knew he would have to let the past go and somehow find a way to move forward into the future.

******************

A month later, Monterisso Royal Palace...

"King Liam chose an heir!" Amalas exclaimed when Elisse walked into the main hall.

"He chose one? That is shocking." Elisse leaned forward to see the report that just came in. "Who's the lucky child?"

"That's just it." Amalas dropped the paper. "He has named the yet to be conceived child of the Duke and Duchess of Valtoria as his heir."

Elisse's brow furrowed. "But, he might still marry. His own children should be next in line."

"He says differently." Amalas pulled up his news conference for her cousin to watch.

"This seems wrong." Elisse mumbled. " I know those two are his closest friends--"

"And they are Guardian and Champion of the Realm." Amalas reminded her with an eye roll. "That's what he has had to use to get the people on board with his decision."

"Poor Liam." Elisse couldn't help but sympathize with the king. "He's being pressured on all sides for something he can't completely control."

"I think I might pay a visit." Amalas tapped her finger against her chin. "Perhaps see if the new duke and duchess are amenable to a possible alliance."

"It couldn't hurt." Elisse added.

"Indeed." The Queen smiled warmly at her. "I want you to come along. It has been too long since you and I went on a trip. I could use your ability to read people while I guide them toward a possible arranged marriage for their child and mine."

"I suppose I have to do as my queen commands." Elisse teased. "And I've yet to ever say no to my cousin."

"Doubly lucky for me." Amalas smirked.

"When do we leave?"

"Tomorrow."

[shi-daisy]

Snowed In

Well this it folks, my last Ulquihime Week entry for this year. As always it's been a joy to participate and see everything that all of the other users have created, and that those who host the event take such care to plan our ship week. I had a blast and I'm looking forward to doing this again next year. Till then however, let's all keep on making content for our otp!

Ok so onto the story, today's theme is Winter/Warmth and I really didn't know what to do, until I remembered I have a whole AU I could use and stuck with that. For those who haven't read my entries from previous years the Reunion AU basically had Ulquiorra and Orihime meet again after a few years, Orihime ran off from her wedding with Ichigo and Ulquiorra is now human(along with the other Arrancar). At this point in the time the two have been dating for a month. Hope you like!

@ulquihimeweek

Ulquihime Week- Day 6: Winter/Warmth

Snowed In

"For the last time Tia, I'll ask her but that dosen't mean she'll say yes." Ulquiorra repeated over the phone for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

His friends had all told him to invite Orihime over for Christmas dinner, and while he wasn't too keen on the holiday he knew his woman was. This would be the first time he would be asking her to spend an event with him and his 'family' and while he might deny it, Ulquiorra was nervous.

"Schiffer, of course she'll say yes. That girl is quite taken with you."

"I'd like to think so, but still, don't be disappointed if she declines."

"Yes, yes, I am ready to accept a negative answer. Still, I wanted some civilized company this year."

He could tell she directed her angry tone at Nnoitra. From over the phone Ulquiorra could hear them bickering.

"If ya don't want me to eat the cookies. Don't leave em on the table!"

"Those were freshly baked! How are you not burned?!"

"Cuz I still have Arrancar-like skin."

"Fool! Your hands are red! I have to go Ulquiorra. Our gigantic toddler has injured himself again."

"No surprise there. I shall see you later."

He arrived at the cafe soon after his call ended, yet he knew things weren't right. Orihime usually waited for him outside, but despite the closed sign in the door, she was nowhere to be seen. Ulquiorra rushed into the cafe, immediately upon entering he heard a loud noise.

"I know language was never your best subject but I think the sign on the door was pretty easy to read Kurosaki!"

"Inoue, just let me explain everything."

"I told you to fuck off!" Orihime angrily took off her arpon and walked away. Ulquiorra headed towards her. The second she saw him, her anger subsided.

He dared to look at Kurosaki. The redhead was no longer the headstrong teen he had met six years ago. His hair was shorter, and while he's grown taller, Ulquiorra thought he looked less intimidating.

"How- How are you here? You died."

"I got better." Ulquiorra answered sarcastically. "Now, I believe you heard the woman. She's not interested in speaking to you."

Ichigo didn't seem keen on backing down, his surprised stare turned into a glare. "You don't get to decide for her anymore, Ulquiorra."

"Oh just shut up already, Ichigo! I don't owe you shit! Tatsuki picked up my stuff a while ago, I've kept away from you and your kin, and paid back what I owed to you father. Aside from those unresolved matters we have nothing else to talk about!"

"I think leaving one's own wedding and then vanishing for two months is something to talk about! You never gave me an explanation for that."

He'd never seen Orihime so enraged, her pale face turned red and she was clenching her fist so hard her arms shook. "You want an explanation?! Fine! I left because just as I was going to get Kenpachi-san to walk me to the altar, I found you and Kuchiki-San! Then you kissed her! When we were young I thought you were in love with her, but since you proposed to me and made me feel as if I was the one you wanted, my worries faded. Imagine how I felt at that moment! I gave up NASA for you, scholarships, internships, my own damn college ambitions all went down the drain! All because I wanted to be with you, and look where the fuck that got me!

So there's your bloody explanation! Now scram!"

There was a small moment of silence before Kurosaki left. The second he was out the door, Ulquiorra hugged Orihime close. "Let it out."

Orihime didn't want to cry over it anymore, but her body betrayed her. She shook as she cried, her sobs echoed in the small cafe and the only solace she could find was the warmth Ulquiorra's hug provided.

As he held onto her, Ulquiorra checked an alert on his phone. There was a snow storm coming to Naruki.

"Woman, it's likely we won't be able to reach your apartment in time. Would you like to accompany me home?"

Orihime stopped crying after hearing that. "Yes. I'd love to go with you."

"Good, I've sent a message to Szayel, he should be coming to pick us up before the storm gets worse."

"Okay."

Orihime stared at Ulquiorra's face for a moment. When she first saw him again after all these years he looked just as he did the day he turned to ash under her touch. Now, he seemed so different. His hair was longer and styled, he often wore leather and dark make up, and even facial jewelery. She also noticed he began doing those things when the two began dating. Maybe it was an effort to become more human like for her.

"Ulqui, are you sure it's okay for me to come home with you? I don't want to bother the others."

"It's no bother, they were all hoping to see you again." Ulquiorra cleared his throat, as he often did when he was nervous. "Actually they were insistent that I brought you home for Christmas celebrations next week."

She blushed. "Really? I'd love to go! Spending Christmas alone is not much fun. I would be happy to spend it with your family."

He sighed in relief. "I'm glad."

"You sound nervous, did you think I'd decline?"

"Well, yes. But that's not why I was nerveous. It's just the others can be quite a handful. I don't want them to overwhelm you."

"I'll be fine, I love hyper groups of people. Besides you and I can have some alone time later."

"That I won't mind."

Szayel arrived at the cafe slightly later than expected. The sky was already darkening, and the road was icy. He drove slowly but made sure to calculate the time properly.

"Inoue-san, I hope you don't mind, Halibel has prepared a room for you, along with clothes. It's likely the snowstorm will keep you from going home tonight, perhaps even longer."

"That's fine. Thanks for telling me Szayel. I'll be sure to not cause any trouble."

"Oh sweetie it's no trouble at all, we are all looking forward to having you around. Ulquiorra has told us so much about you!"

Ulquiorra, Who had been dozing off in the front seat, was now wide awake and glaring at Szayel.

Orihime laughed at the scene before her. "Does he? What has he told you?"

"That he enjoys speaking to you, and that you have a lovely aura, and that you look very pretty in a sundress."

By now Ulquiorra was a blushing mess, he hid his face under the hoodie of his coat, but Orihime has already seen it. She smiled and blew a kiss in his direction. "Well I think he looks good in black clothes."

Ulquiorra caught the hint. Black was what he always wore, meaning Orihime always found him to be cute. He smiled, this time without covering his blush.

***

Her arrival had been met with hugs, greetings, an enthusiastic snuggle from the family's pet.

"Kukkapuro's no stranger to cuddling new people. He won't leave you alone for the rest of the night." Stark drowsily told her as he tried to get Kukkapuro to move. The hollow puppy ignored him.

"That's okay, Stark-san. I don't mind."

The sleepy man nodded and went back to his favorite spot, on the lap of his boyfriend. Szayel rolled his eyes and let him sleep.

She smiled at the scene, it reminded her of the times she'd act overly affectionate and Ulquiorra would be either unimpressed or dead quiet. Strangely enough she didn't mind.

"Orihime! Can you come to the kitchen? I need your help!"

She followed Halibel's voice to the kitchen. The older women had baked a new batch of cookies and wanted her opinion.

"You're the star baker after all." She told her.

The woman's tone was so sweet Orihime couldn't bear to tell her she hadn't finished culinary school.

She took a bite, savoring the sweet yet salty ginger cookie. "These are great! You're an incredible baker, Halibel-san."

"Thank you, it means a lot coming from a professional. There is something I'd like your help with."

"Anything."

***

"Are you going to chose a movie already?!"

Ulquiorra glared at Nnoitra, who had probably been banned from the kitchen.

"I am not choosing anything until the girls come back with the food. Have some patience Jiruga!"

"I am plenty patient!"

"I agree with Ulquiorra, you have a short fuse. Now be quiet." Szayel snapped.

"Tch. If I'd know you were going to be so moody I would've spent the week with Tesla and Cyan."

"Tesla might've been your fracción but I think even he knows you shouldn't be around a newborn." Stark mumbled in his drowsy state.

Ulquiorra chuckled, as he remembered the little bundle Cyan had given birth to a week ago. He didn't consider himself the baby type but that had been disproven the moment he was allowed to carry the tiny child.

"Maybe you and Inoue will produce a cute baby one day."

Ulquiorra almost fell off the sofa. "Nnoitra if you don't shut up I will disembowel you!"

Szayel shushed them both and pointed down to a sleeping Stark, but by then it was too late. The pair began bickering and Kukkapuro howled along.

***

"See? It's always like this. Can't get some quiet until bedtime."

"Don't worry. This'll warm them up!"

The girls walked out of the kitchen with cookies and hot chocolate. "Settle down! We're here with the treats! Ulquiorra you can pick a movie if you'd like."

He nodded and began browsing. Orihime gave everyone a cup of chocolate and cookies. Once her boyfriend had picked a movie, she sat down with him and their treats.

It didn't take long for the others to fall asleep. According to Ulquiorra this was a common occurrence. 'They'll be asleep before the second act ends.'

The couple was snuggling together covered by a thick blanket, they had finished their sweets and once the movie ended they would be going to bed.

"Hey Ulqui."

"Yes, love?"

"Thanks for tonight. I don't know how badly things would've gotten if I hadn't come with you."

Seeing Ichigo had soured her day greatly, and walking home alone in the freezing cold to cry herself to sleep would've been twice as hellish. Thankfully her boyfriend was there to dry her tears and make her smile again.

"You're welcome woman. I shall always be here for you, so whenever you feel like the world is falling apart remember to lean on me. It is now my eternal duty to keep you smiling."

She giggled and nuzzled close to him. "Thanks Ulqui. You're really sweet." The beating of his heart was lulling her to sleep, but Orihime resisted, she wanted to see the end of the movie. "I have to repay you one day for all the kindness you've given me. Feels like I'm only taking."

"No, you're mistaken. It is I who's repaying a debt to you. Back when I was a hollow you brought joy into my life again, and since then I've thought that one lifetime won't be enough to repay you."

"Then you better be with me in every other lifetime."

He wouldn't refuse such a request. Ulquiorra looked down at Orihime, their gazes met and he knew this was the perfect moment to do as he had planned for so long. He leaned down to press his lips against hers, a soft kiss which caused them both to blush. They both tasted of chocolate and ginger cookies, still it was perfect.

"I love you." He whispered only for her.

Orihime caressed his cheek and smiled. "I love you too."

They stayed like that for the rest of the night, tangled in a warm embrace as the snow continued to fall outside.

[hoseokslefteyebrow]

House Of Cards || K.SJ || 11

DOWN INTO HIDING

Pairing : Kim Seokjin X Reader

Genre : Angst & fluff

Summary : When a war threatens the world of Mythica, the four greatest tribes are forced to work together in order to defeat the darkness. You and Jin are from two different tribes, two different backgrounds and are expected to stand together in order to save everyone you love. Will you two put aside your diffrences in order to save the world or will you fail?

Wordcount: 1.4k oOf

Info Chapter | House Of Cards Masterlist | Next

" This should work. Joon, think you can bend it into something with more cover?" You ask Namjoon as you look around you.

The two of you were stood in a cave the size of the inside of a castle. With the help of a few earth benders, it should become a usefull hiding spot.

Said man glances around before nodding.

" I think so. This could be our potential hide out." He tells you, as you give him a nod.

Before you know it, you're setting everyone to work.

Sefra still seems to be stuck with whatever personal issue is bothering her, and so you, Jin, Namjoon,  Hoseok and Yoongi set people to work.

Namjoon's in charge of using his bending abilities for the cave. There's more benders helping him, and more than a few animals.

Hoseok is helping the people, trying to help out in the medical part as much as he can ( tough his dislike for blood and injury don't really help in that.)

You're not really sure what Yoongi's intentions are, as he's pretty much just training with others, and seems to be putting together some kind of small army. 

Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook are very usefull too. They're mainly helping people around, and trying to keep the youngers calm. A lot of them have sadly lost their parents, and it will be a tough part to help them on their feet.

You and Jin are mainly brainstorming what your next move should be. Running is sadly not an option, as you're with elders and youngers alike, also as far as you're concerned, all of the dragon lands and fae lands are taken over.

" Excuse me, I'd like to help." A stable voice suddenly joins the conversation you have with Jin.

The both of you turn your head to Sefra, who's appearing to be functioning.

" We'd appreciate that actually." You smile at her, and so does Jin.

For a while Sefra just listens to the both of you, before she eventually joins in.

"You know, I've heard of the great four elementary benders. Maybe we could find them and ask for help."She suddenly drops one the most convenient solutions in your face.

You and Jin blink at each other before calling Yoongi over and forming a plan.

Tomorrow, you'll send four teams to each of the native bending lands, and they'll have to try and find the great four.

The great four are four animals, who're most powerfull in their bending skills. They're the only four out there who would be powerfull enough to drive back the dark side.

And so everyone dispers into finding teams.

It's not until later that night that Jin's finally lying down, you knocked out beside him, Beansprout clamping onto the ceiling and Sapphire near the random tiny water source they've managed to sneak in, that he's questioning if this is the right thing to do.

He doesn't even know you for long, yet for everything you seem to find a peaceful solution. 

Was getting bigger stronger beings really a good idea?

After a few moments, Taehyung lies down beside him.

" A lot has happened since home, right brother?" Taehyung says softly, his deep voice gentle in the silence.

" Yeah, stuff we would certainly never have been trough had the tribes not fallen." Jin mumbles in response.

Taehyung sighs deeply, seeming to have something on his mind.

" Something you wanna talk about?" Jin asks his younger sibling, now turning to look at him as the younger looks up at the ceiling instead.

" Well, to be honest, I just wonder if searching for greater power than we already have is such a good idea." Taehyung swallows.

Jin smiles softly.

" So have I actually.... Y/N and I have met a few crazy creatures on our journey of my elemental abilities. And no matter what kind of creature it was, we didn't fight them. In fact, we met a Necro, and they showed me a vision of the Dragon Tribe when it was in chaos two days ago. It was because of them that we knew what was happening-"

" Why don't we do that?" Taehyung suddenly sits up, eyes wide as if he just found a solution to the problem.

" What?" Jin asks puzzled.

" We go looking for a Necro! And then maybe they can show us what to do!" Taehyung explains his idea.

Jin sits up too.

" Tae, that's genius!" The older complements his brother, making the other smile a wide boxy smile.

" Look, it's nice that Tae's apparently a genius  but can you two discuss this somewhere over there maybe?" You suddenly cut in groggily, your hand waving in a random direction.

" Y/N, wake up! Tae has a better idea instead of looking for the Elementals." Jin tells you, shaking you softly.

" Huh, one second. Let me wake up, if you really believe this idea might help, wake up the others too." You tell him, now sitting up, tough in your sleepy state, you don't realize that you're subconsciously leaning into him a bit, making your head lean onto his chest.

A blush appears on his face due to the closeness, now not wanting to really get up.

" Don't worry hyung, I'll wake up the rest. Just Jiminie, Jungkookie, Hoseokie, Namjoonie, Yoongi and Sefra, right?" Taehyung winks at his brother.

" Uh, yeah." Jin says with pink ears, adjusting his position carefully so you'll both be a little more comfortable.

Due to his movements, you seem to realize that you've been leaning on him, and quickly give him his personal space.

" Sorry! I didn't realize that I was up in your personal spac-"

" No, it's okay. You can lean on me if you want, besides, you're pretty warm." He smiles shyly at you, his ears turning even more pink.

You take him up on his offer, tough this time, you lean onto his shoulder. 

He resists the urge to pull you into his embrace.

" Alright. What did you wake me up for? I was having a quite pleasant sleep and-"

" Taehyung claims to have tough of another solution." You cut off Yoongi, not really bothered by his complaints.

Everyone turns to Taehyung.

" Well, um, Jin hyung told me that Y/N and him met a necro who showed him a vision of when the Dragon Tribe was under attack. I tough maybe we could find a Necro to tell us what to do." Taehyung spoke shyly, hoping everyone would agree with the idea.

Sefra was the first to speak up.

" That's a cute idea Tae, but Necro's are dangerous. I think we should just go with my plan." Sefra says, an undertone of arrogance in her voice.

Taehyung lowers his head in disappointment.

" I agree with him tough. We have no idea what we're doing." Hoseok sides with Taehyung.

" Me too, it doesn't seem like a great idea to have the Elementals get meddled with us, they never have and I don't think they should." Namjoon agrees.

" I too agree with Taehyung. Trough my journey with Y/N, we never actually needed to fight any creature who we crossed paths with." Jin tells them.

" I think Tae's idea is good too. We have no idea what we're doing. The best we could do is find someone to lead us." You too agree with Tae.

" I cannot believe you. I am a tribe leader! You should know by now that I know what risks to take." Sefra says.

She obviously didn't take any of you as adults.

" I agree with Tae hyung too. Also, you might have been a tribe leader, but where were you when the Dragon Tribe was under attack? You didn't lead anyone. It was Yoongi and Namjoon who led us all out of there, and Jin and Y/N who're setting up this resistance." Jungkook told the older woman sharply.

Sefra turned to Jimin, having been rather close with him as he's her sister's son.

" I'm sorry aunt Sefra, but I too think TaeTae's idea is better for now. We should find stability for the people here, not create the next battle field." Jimin tells her.

She sighs, obviously not happy, but admits to it too.

" Alright, let's go back to bed for now. We'll create a proper plan tomorrow." Namjoon says as everyone nods and turns back to bed.

[supraveng]

Cocktail Hour

Summary: you work for Stark in his lab and get to know the Avengers, you also moonlight as a bartender

Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanof, Reader

Warnings: SMUT and story and a bit of fluff, alcohol consumption, 

Word Count: 4312

“What do you want, Wilson?” you asked without looking up from the project you were working on.   “Is that anyway to treat your favorite Avenger?” he responds with a smirk.  “Oh, I didn’t realize you brought Bucky with you” you smirk as you look up a bit shocked to see Bucky standing behind Sam and with a shit eating grin. 

“Wow, really Y/N?  I thought we were friends'' he responds in a huff.  “Wilson, you only come visit when you want something from me, it’s never friendly chatting.  I’m busy, what do you want?” you deadpan knowing the more you agitate him the longer this is going to take, but you don’t care.  Getting Sam all riled up is one of your favorite past times, and one that you and Bucky have been bonding over.  

“Fine, I’ll make it short and sweet.  I need you to put in a good word for me with your girl, Savannah'' he states as he wiggles his eyebrows.  You freeze and slowly look at Sam, with a slight squint.  

“WHAT?” you respond exasperated that he’s interrupting your project that seems to be never ending.  "Please?  She's cute and we really hit it off, but I'll be coming back to the bar this week to get her number and you can make sure she knows I'm more than worth her time" he tells you with a smug look on his face.  

"First of all, since when does the, and I quote, great Sam Wilson need help getting numbers? Second, her name is Sienna not Savannah. And last but not least, you aren't her type" you respond with a smirk, knowing just how much your points are getting under my skin.  

"Alright now, I don't need your help getting numbers, women love me. I just wanted you to be a supportive friend" he grumbles at you.  You just raise an eyebrow waiting for him to continue. 

"Second, she said Savanna like the city in Georgia." "Its Siena, like the city IN ITALY!" you interrupted.  

"And third, how could this not be her type?" he said as he gestured from his head to his toes, flashing that ridiculous smile and beginning to flex his biceps.  You let out a heavy sigh and you can tell he thinks he's got you stumped.  

"While all that" you waive your hand towards him "might interest some women, you just don't have what she wants" you state while slightly shaking your head sadly. He's about to start up with another dispute and any other time you would love to spend hours tormenting him like this, but you were still working and had a few hours left to finish the reconfiguration of your latest project, so you step closer. 

Putting your hands on his shoulders and looking up at him with an apologetic smile "Sam, you don't have a vagina. I'm sorry, but she's not interested unless you do."  

Bucky couldn't hold it in any longer and was doubled over in laughter. "Now, if you boys didn't bring me coffee, get out of my lab" you say as sweetly as possible.  "But she was so flirty, are you sure?  Maybe she's bi?" he asks trying to understand what he missed. 

 "She's a waitress Sam, flirting gets you bigger tips.  I mean did you give your usual amount or did she earn a bit extra?" you ask only trying to get him to see the reality of their interactions.  

"Damn it!" he huffs as he turns around to leave.  Bucky straightens up trying to calm himself down when he looks up at you "I'll be right back with your coffee" 

A few minutes later, Tony walks in with a quizzical look on his face "what did you do to birdman and gramps?"  He moves past you toward the back of the lab.  

"Why would you think I did anything to those two?" you ask as innocently as possible.  He arches an eyebrow and you concede "ugh, why does that always work? Ok, it's no big deal, Sam was asking about my coworker Siena, and I told him he had no chance since she's into women. But apparently when a waitress flirts its interest and not just trying to get a bigger tip, he learned a lot today" you sigh as you continue working.  

"What do you mean "coworker Siena''? He asks using air quotes.  "I've never seen her in my lab, who is she?"  " She's a waitress at the bar" you mumble realizing Tony didn't know about your other job. You have been an intern for him, working on your doctorate in Biomedical engineering, for the last year and he didn't know you had another job. This isn't going to end well you thought to yourself.  

"How is it possible you have another job? You are here all the time, how do you have time to work at a bar, write your dissertation, find time to sleep and have a social life?" he asks, seeming like he's been swindled or something.  

"And why do you have another job?  This internship pays above average for engineers, I'm not even sure what's going on around here anymore."  

"Ok, Tony, first of all, I thought you knew, I cleared it with legal before I accepted the internship.  I've been working at The Rum House since my freshman year and they are flexible with my hours. Two, the work I'm doing here is my dissertation,  three who are you to question my sleep habits?  And four, I like staying busy, I don't have a social life per say and I'm ok with that" you state with a shrug just as Bucky comes walking in with a huge cup of coffee.

"One venti flat white with hazelnut, sorry am I interrupting?" he questions as he hands you the coffee.  You immediately bring it to your face and take a deep breath closing your eyes to enjoy your favorite beverage and miss the small smirk on Bucky's face, feeling a bit of joy that he could make you happy with something as simple as a cup of coffee.  

Taking a sip you moan and open your eyes to see Tony and Bucky starring at you. With a smile you look at Bucky "thank you, this is exactly what I needed and no you didn't interrupt a thing, we're done,"  

"We are so far from done, did you know she had another job? Hmm? Am i the last to find out everything around here?” Tony mumbles to himself as he goes back to his work station.  Bucky smiles and waves as he leaves and you watch him longer than you should but damn the way he wears jeans just does something  to you.  

"And what was that?  You have a crush on the centurion now too?" he asks.  "What? You are ridiculous!  I'm just appreciating the coffee and wondering why you never bring me coffee.  I mean, I thought you took your title of "World's greatest boss" seriously but I guess that's not the case" you respond as seriously as possible as you sit back down and get back to your project.   

You've been working non stop most of the day and don't realize how late it is until your phone chimes and you notice it’s after midnight. .

You are probably already in bed but I wanted to say goodnight 

I'm actually still working. I guess I lost track of time.  I should head home and get some sleep

It's late, you could stay with me  ;) 

That's so tempting but your roommates are very nosey, not sure how to sneak out in the morning without getting caught 

You're right, as always.  Can I walk you home?

I would love that, meet me at the corner  in 15?

I'll be there in 10 

"Even tired you still look beautiful, how is that possible? " he states as you wrap your arms around his torso for a long overdue hug.  "And you are always the charmer, how did I get so lucky?" you mumble into his chest as you inhale deeply.  

His scent always felt calming and safe. "I'm the lucky one" he says as he kisses the top of your head.  Beginning to walk arm in arm down the street,  "now let's get you to bed, you work too much"  

"In my defense it will all be over once I complete my dissertation, then when I find a real job, I'll be a normal person working 60-80 hours a week" you smile at him and peck his cheek.  

"That's more than normal people, and the part time job at the bar? Are you going to give that up?" he questioned with a smirk.  

"I like the bar and I thought you liked the tiny uniform" you wink as you turn the corner towards your apartment.  

"You can wear that for me any time and I would love it, not just at work, or better yet, nothing at all" he responds in a low growl. You chuckle and swat his chest, "then we would never leave the apartment" "and I don't see that as a problem at all!" he spins you towards him and kisses you passionately, then releases your arm. 

"Aren't  you coming up?" you ask a bit disappointed. "I definitely want to, but you need sleep and if I go up to your place, I will not let you get any." he states slowly backing away.  

"I have tomorrow off, do you think you can break away from your roommates and we can have lunch?" you ask. "If you have the whole day off, you call me when you wake up and I'll take you to breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I will make sure we work up an appetite in between'' he responds with the wiggle of his eyebrows.  

"That sounds perfect! I'll call you in the morning" you smile as you make your way into the building.  Flopping on your bed exhausted, you have a smile on your face for the plans you have for tomorrow. 

Waking up you look at your clock and gasping, 10:33, you hadn't slept that late in ages. 

Hey handsome, you probably don't believe me, but i just woke up!  I'm gonna hope in the shower or should I wait for you to join me ;)

Oooo, I am on my way, do not start without me! 

😘

The knock at your door was barely 10 minutes later, and you opened it laughing at the look on his face. "Did you run the whole way here? Your place is a 20 minute walk away."  

"I needed to work up a sweat for the shower, been thinking about you naked since last night, which makes it very HARD to sleep" he responds while following you into the apartment.  

"Well, you are overdressed so maybe I can help you out of those clothes" you respond in almost a whisper. You bat your lashes as you start to unbuckle his belt, looking up at him biting your lip "it's been such a long week, I feel like I hardly get to see you."  

"I know, but today will make up for it, I promise" he mumbles into your neck.  You are walking backwards into the bathroom when he is finally in just his boxers, you turn on the shower before dropping your robe to the floor.  

He drinks you in from head to toe with a low moan "Damn beautiful, I've missed you" he practically purrs as he grabs your hips to pull you closer.   The long shower was a much needed tension relief for both of you and lasted until the water ran cold.  

“So what would you like for breakfast, beautiful?” he asks as he’s kissing your neck and wrapping his arms around you.  “Actually, I was thinking maybe we order in, that way we don’t need to bother getting dressed at all.” you respond biting your lip and enjoying his lips traveling down your neck to your collarbone.  He practically growls in response before picking you up and carrying you out of the bathroom, “you are brilliant, you know that?” before throwing you on the couch and poncing on top of you.  

Several slices of pizza and orgasms later, the two of you are cuddling on the couch when his phone dings, “they can’t leave you alone for a day can they?” you quip knowing it’s his roommates checking to make sure he’s still alive.  

He kisses your forehead before grabbing his phone “they are a bunch of smothering assholes, that’s what they are!” he responds before reading the message with a large sigh.  Looking at him you know exactly what that means “what time do you have to leave?” you ask as casually as possible.  

“I’m sorry, it’s a last minute “important” meeting, I can shower here and leave at 8ish to be on time” he responds apologetically.  

“Which means you are supposed to be there before 8, but I will take every minute I can get!” you state as you straddle his lap and kiss his jaw. 

 “Trust me, I would much rather be here with you, kissing every inch of your body.  Maybe I can fake that I’m sick” he mumbles against your neck.  

You are about to respond when your phone starts ringing, you snarl as you look up ‘who the hell is calling me on a Saturday afternoon?” you whine as you reach for your phone.  You toss it on the coffee table almost as quickly as you picked it up.  

“You can answer that, I don’t mind, I can be a very good boy when I want to” he says as he winks at you.  “That is the bar, and it’s my day off…...and you are never a good boy, one of the many traits I love about you” you hum as he begins to assault your chest with his sinful mouth and tongue.  

Before he can continue, your phone starts ringing again and you whine as he stops “noooo, don’t stop!”   He hands you your phone as he gets up and heads into the kitchen.  

“This better be important” you practically yell as you answer the call.  “Uh, hey Y/N! It’s Gary, and I know it’s your day off but we got a last minute backroom booking and I need the best bartender in NYC.  Can you be here by 9?”  You don’t respond, only sighing into the phone  “I’ll pay you double!  And you can have tomorrow night off”  he throws in trying to change your mind.  

“It’s not about the money Gary, I haven’t had an entire day off in 4 months.   My body and brain need to do nothing but eat take out and catch up on bad reality tv” you argue, knowing it will do nothing to deter him from getting you into the bar tonight.   

You look up to see a beer being handed to you and smirk on his face “I can go down there and scare him if you want” he whispers, only making you giggle in response.  

“Ok, I’ll pay you for not working tomorrow night, please I really need you!”  “Fine, quit begging, but I’m only agreeing because I lost my evenings entertainment. See you at 9!” you say before hanging up without letting him respond.   

“Looks like my evening just got filled and I’ll be slinging booze rather than recuperating from today’s activities” you pout as you sip your beer.  “Well it’s almost 6, so let's order some Chinese food and go for round 5 before we have to return to the real world” he responds sitting next to you with his arm around your shoulders.  

“Yes, but food first, I just hope I’ll be able to walk tonight.  You have one hell of a libido!” you yell as he attacks your neck again.  “Only for you, beautiful”

The time passes by faster than you like and you both shower before dressing.  You are dressed and starting on your makeup when he walks into your room for a final kiss goodbye.  “Damn, it is hard to leave when you look that good with clothes on” he eyes you up and down causing you to blush.   

“Hey, why don’t you come by the bar after your meeting and we can continue what you started, handsome!” leaning back into his strong chest.  “That sounds perfect, I’ll text you on my way!” and before you can respond he is running out the door, you just shake your head and laugh knowing he’s gonna be late and doesn’t even care.  

Heading out of your apartment  you decide to stop for coffee before hopping on the subway.  It’s been a long and tiring day, in the best way possible, but you are expecting it to be a long night too since it’s a private event and there are always stragglers that have no intention of leaving when someone else is footing the bill.  

Walking into the bar, you begin to wonder who books a last minute party on the weekend but decide it doesn’t really matter.   You had an amazing day with your amazing man and were getting paid double, so it was definitely a win/win, even if your thighs were more sore than you realized before you left your apartment. 

Note to self, uber the next time you have an all day sexcapade.  You start to giggle at the thought when you make your way to the back room and start rearranging the bar to your preference.  .

”Finally!  I was beginning to worry you were going to stand me up!” Gary yells as he makes his way over to you.   “Are you kidding? You offered me a lot of money to be here, and I have student loans out the wazoo!  This is the second best thing that's happened to me today.” you state, not bothering to look up as you are wiping down the bottles.   

“And by the look of that stupid grin on your face, I’m going to assume a certain someone is the first?” he questions, but you just shake your head and smirk.  

“When is the party supposed to arrive?  Any special requests I need to know about?” you ask in an attempt to change the topic as quickly as possible. 

“They will be here any minute now and you are the only one back here tonight, but it’s only 10-12 guests so you should be fine.  But let me know if you need a cocktail server or bar back, I can’t spare both but I’ll pop in and help when I can” he smiles and turns back to the bar area of the bar.   

You are digging for the better rocks glasses when you hear people enter the room and turn to smile at the arriving guests, only for your  face to immediately fall.  

“Are you kidding me Stark?!” you grit out.  “I can’t get away from you for a damn day?” you ask.  

“Oh, is this the bar you work at, behind my back? I had no idea” he states dripping in sarcasm.  “HA!” you fake a laugh “so this is my payback for not telling you?”  “No, actually, Birdman told me about the uniform and I had to see  for myself” he says, eyeing you up and down. 

“I have to say, you look different than I anticipated and a little hurt that we don’t get to see this side of you in the lab.”  You shake your head and laugh at yourself, this wasn’t how you expected your night to go, but at least you knew your clients weren’t just a bunch of assholes.   

These people were your friends, practically family since you started working for Stark.  “So Tones, what can I get you?  I don’t think we’ve ever drank together, so I honestly don’t know if you are a Scotch neat or martini kind of man”  

“Well, a little birdie told me that this bar has cocktails named after me and my friends, so that’s why I’m here, I wanted to check them out!” he smiles and you realize he’s either testing your bar-tending skills to prove to you that you don’t need this other job or his curiosity is going to be boosting his ego, either way, tonight will be fun.   

“We do have a few, here is the Avenger cocktail list.” you say handing him the list with a smirk, knowing you will be making all of these drinks by the end of the night.  

“Well, since you’ve worked here so long, what do you recommend?” he replies while looking over the various drinks “and why am I not listed at the top?  If it’s not in alphabetical order, it should at least be listed by best Avenger at the top”  

“Well, it’s listed by most popular drink, so if you want something sweet, I would go for The Cap America, if you need something more of a punch try the Black Widow, if you want to get revved up but not remember much of your night you should go for the Hulk.  The Iron Man is an acquired taste, but it’s definitely worth a try, but most people don’t order a second one” just describing the drinks to him, you wonder if he thinks you are commenting on the drinks or the people behind them.  

“Thor is pretty good if you want something simple, Hawkeye is both strong and sweet, Scarlet Witch is one of my personal favorites, along with the Bucky.” you stare at him with your hands resting on the bar top.  

“Wait a damn minute!  I am in this bar all the time and there’s no Falcon cocktail?  What the hell Y/N?” Sam yells from behind Tony.  

“I’m sorry, I don’t get to  decide what goes on the menu, but I am working on creating your drink” you respond as sweetly as possible.  “I’m just stuck on how to make a drink that people will enjoy, but is also a pain in the ass" you smirk as Sam realizes what you just said. 

"I didn't know it was pick on Sam day, but I've had enough! Can I have a beer and tequila shots? I came here to have a good time and I feel attacked right now."  

"Of course, whatever you want Sam" you say as you grab a mug and start to pour his favorite beer.  Handing it to him with a smile, he leans in and pecks you on the cheek, “you’re lucky I love you enough to put up with your shit” he grumbles as he walks towards the tables.  

After fixing all of the specialty drinks for everyone to try the signature cocktail you are certain that the night has just begun.  You are wiping down the bar top when you look up to see Bucky grinning at you, turning you realize Natasha is at the bar for another round.  

“Same drink or would you like something else, Nat?”  “Do you have any decent vodka or am I just wasting your time?” she asks with a laugh.  “We actually carry Jewel of Russia, but that’s about as good as it gets, I’m sorry Tony dragged you out tonight just to torment me.” you mention while grabbing the bottle from the fridge and a handful of shot glasses.  

“I was wondering what this last minute outing was all about, I figured it was Barnes trying to let you see him in a more relaxed state” she quips while trying to gauge your reaction.  

“Bucky?  Him and Sam are in here all the time, and I’m not sure why you think he would want me to see him relaxed…..” you reply while setting up a tray for the shots.  Natasha grabs two before you can even fill more.  “Well, I’ve never seen him gawk at a bartender, like he is tonight”

“I think you are reading into something that isn’t there, but why don’t I take this tray over and test your theory?” you say while grabbing the tray of shots and placing the bottle of vodka in an ice bucket.  

Noticing that Bucky was watching most of your conversation you make sure to sway your hips a bit extra and set the tray down in front of the team. 

“Alright gang, let me get some of these empties out of here and grab a couple more rounds for you.  Any special requests?” you smile around the group seated in the overstuffed chairs and couches.  

“Hey Buck, anything you want to ask Y/N for?” Natasha says with a sweet tone.  “Like a date maybe?” she adds just as Bucky was about to ask for a drink.  You chuckle slightly look over at Bucky who seems to be a bit in shock.  

“Uh, nah, I don’t think I’m Y/N’s type” Bucky says attempting to brush off Nat’s comment and not draw more attention to the conversation.  With the glasses gathered in your hands, you start to head back to the bar before responding ‘yea, tall, dark and handsome isn’t my type” you smirk as you walk away.  

Immediately the entire crew is carrying on like a bunch of teenagers and egging Bucky on to follow you to the bar.  You are starting to pour a few pints when Bucky clears his throat to gain your attention.  

“So you think I’m tall, dark and handsome, huh?” he almost whispers.  “Well, that’s the PG version of what I think about you, didn’t want to get you into any trouble with your roommates.  Are you coming back over when this little party is over?” you ask with a smirk.  

“Oh, you know I am, I owe you a couple more orgasms today.   As long as I get to help you out of that sexy uniform.”

[oswildin]

Bonded {Part Three} ~ Dhawan!Master x Reader

~ Seeing all your comments make my day. Thank you for reading this fic. It means a lot! ~

Summary: You’ve just found out some unsettling news. Could you really trust the Master? Why you? What did this mean for you?

Warnings: None

Song:

You were in a dark void, alone. You were calling out. You couldn’t remember how you got there. It was terrifying. You felt fear flowing through your veins as you cried.

“They’re here.”

You gasped awake, sweat on your forehead as you took deep breaths to calm yourself. Your heart was beating so fast. You realised you had passed out in the same chair you were sat in before. The Master was no where in sight. You lifted yourself up, feeling your body fight against you, but your mind was stronger. That sleep must’ve done you some good. You called out, hearing no response as you guessed he must have left the ship. You wondered over to the console, a gentle hum emitting from the ship as you looked at the screen, seeing where it was you had landed... Paris.

The Master stood on the top of the Eiffel Tower with the Doctor, finally face to face, alone. He leant against the railing as she watched him closely.

“Where is (Y/N)?” She questioned, narrowing her eyes at the Timelord.

“Safe.” He told her truthfully. “For now.” He raised a brow, looking at his oldest friend... Well, enemy. “You know what is happening though, don’t you?” The Doctors swallowed the lump in her throat, confirming his suspicions. “They’re dying, Doctor. Their Timelord mind is compressing them to death. Admit it, you’re out of your depth.” The Doctor paused as she shook her head.

“Why have you kept them?” She inquired. “Why them?” She raised a brow. “Hmm? You could’ve taken any of my friends, yet you took (Y/N). Why?” She narrowed her eyes. “You felt it, didn’t you?”

The Master flared his nostrils as he looked out at the city below. He confirmed her question as she stepped towards him.

“There was a legend back on Gallifrey, amongst Timelords.” She began. “About the Bonded.” He growled as he turned around, gripping her by her throat as he looked down angrily at her.

“The Timelords lied.” He spat. “Everything they told us. It’s all a lie. Why would this one be true? Why would I believe in that?” She tried to pry his hand away as he roughly released her, turning away.

“When does all this stop for you? The games, the betrayals, the killing?” She spat as she held her throat for a moment, gasping for breath.

“Why would it stop? I mean, how else would I get your attention?” He raised a brow, turning back to her as he narrowed his eyes. “When did you last go home?”

“What do you mean?” She asked, her voice low.

“I took a trip home, to Gallifrey, hiding in its little bubble universe. Not sure how to describe what I found. Pulverised? Burned? Nuked?” He watched her reaction as she stared into his eyes. “All of the above. Someone destroyed it. Our home, razed to the ground. Everyone killed. Everything burned.” He told her truthfully as she shook her head in disbelief.

“You're lying.” She spat as he shook his own head.

“You should really take a look.“

The door to the ship suddenly opened, as you snapped your head round expecting to see the Master, but instead saw the Doctor and two others you didn’t recognise.

“Doctor!” You exclaimed as she beamed at you, running over as she hugged you. She quickly pulled away, checking you over before scanning you with her sonic.

“He’s right.” She mumbled to herself. “You’re dying.” She looked sadly into your eyes as you felt fear once more. What he said couldn’t have been true... Could it?

“But I feel fine.” You tried to tell yourself. “Sleep. All I needed. A good nap.” You shrugged, a small smile on your lips as she sadly looked at you still. “Doctor?” She didn’t answer as the others began asking questions, leaving you alone with your thoughts as she was distracted.

After watching the Doctor do many tasks to set her plan into motion, you could hear the whispers once more. You almost felt tinges of pain throughout your body. They were sudden and sharp, but quickly went as quickly as they came. The Doctor watched you every now and again, seeing you flinch every now and again from the sudden feelings. If what the legends said were true...

Finally you had landed back in the same hanger you had previously been at, as you all stepped out of the The Master’s TARDIS, hearing voices coming from inside the hanger.

“Sorry. I think that might have been me. And I'll admit, it was close.”

Everyone turned to see the Doctor with Ada and Noor, and you behind her as they smiled in relief. All except the Master who growled under his breath.

“Two can play at embedding things in history. I knew the Silver Lady was important, and that you built it for a reason, but I couldn't work out why.” She furrowed her brows. “So I traced its movements through history. And when I saw that Barton now owned it, we stopped by his office. Middle of last year, using your Tardis, I built a fail-safe into that machine.” She smirked. “Planted a virus. If it ever detected the massing of a Kasaavin army within its systems - total shutdown.” She said smugly as the creatures began to appear around the hanger.

“You're going to have to explain yourself to them, Doctor.” The Master smirked, looking at the woman as she pulled a face before pulling out her sonic.

“Am I? Listen, you lot, I've rigged the Silver Lady to exile you back to your own dimension. This planet's off-limits.” She told them sternly as she then raised her brows. “Oh, and you know that deal he made with you?” She pressed a button on the sonic as a recording began to play.

‘Barton and these creatures do the dirty work, and once they're done, I get rid of them, having destroyed your precious human race in the process. Win-win-win.’

“Oh.” The Master looked disappointed in himself as he looked down to the ground. You watched as the whispers in your mind began to grow louder, causing you to blank out anything anyone in the room was saying.

“You need me Doctor.” The Master spat. “You know it. Deep down.” He smirked. “I have the answers to Gallifrey’s destruction, I can help you save your little companion.” He nodded to you as you stared at the man, seeing the creatures draw in closer to him. “Or are you going to let them die.” The Doctor stared at him, her lips held in a tight line as she listened to his words. She didn’t want him to be right, but she knew he was. If what the legends said were true, sending him away would only make you sicker. She sighed, using her sonic to close the portal between the creatures world and your own, sending them flying back into the Silver Lady as they disappeared. The Master smirked at the woman as the others looked confused at what was happening.

“Hold on, are you letting him off the hook?” Graham asked as the Doctor shook her head.

“No.” She walked over to the Master, a device in her hand as she snapped it on his wrist as it locked itself around his arm.

“Taking away my ability to escape?” He commented, a raised brow as he looked down at the woman.

“(Y/N).”

You were brought back to reality as you heard Graham call your name. You noticed he was stood beside you as he looked you over worriedly.

“I don’t feel so...” You began as your eyes rolled back, your body going limp as he caught you.

“Doc!” He exclaimed as she snapped her head round, instantly rushing towards you as he held onto you. “They just collapsed.” Yaz and Ryan quickly joined the others as they watched on helpless.

“You know what needs to be done.” The Master’s voice told them as he walked towards them all.

“Yaz, Ryan, I need you to go to (Y/N)‘s flat, try finding something that looks old. It could be anything. A necklace, a watch, a box... anything.” The Doctor told them frantically. They looked confused.

“Why? Doctor, what’s happening?” Yaz asked, looking down at her friend in fear.

“Please! I just need you to do it!” She snapped as they recoiled back for a second, before nodding.

“I’ll drop you off. Graham, help me take them to the TARDIS.” She then helped him pick you up as she turned to the Master. “You.” She addressed him. “With me.” He gritted his teeth as he rolled his eyes, following the woman and her companions back to her ship.

“We got what we needed, sir.”

“Good.”

“What now? What of the child?”

“No one must know of what happened today. Our people are warriors. Survivors. We need to keep it that way.”

You opened your eyes, your body weaker than before. You were hooked up to something as you noted you were in the medical bay of the Doctor’s TARDIS.

“You were talking in your sleep.”

You jumped slightly at the voice. You looked over to see the Master sat in a chair in the corner of the room, a safe distance away.

“What was I saying?” You asked, your voice quiet, afraid of the answer.

“Mainly just crying. Calling out for help.” He told you as you tried to sit yourself up, hearing the beeping of a machine nearby.

“It was a dream.” You shrugged it off as he shook his head.

“No. They’re repressed memories.” He told you. “They’re seeping their way back into your subconscious.” He stared at you as you sighed. You still didn’t believe what was going on. Not fully.

“Why should I believe you?” You argued as he smirked at your words. He shrugged.

“Maybe because I’m the only one who understands.” He told you as you furrowed your brows in confusion. “What it feels like to be alone. Abandoned. Outcasted.”

“I’m none of those things.” You said defiantly.

“We’ll know the truth sooner or later.” He ignored you as he continued. “The Doctor’s sent her pets out to look for whatever holds your Timelord consciousness.”

“What does that even mean?! You’re talking all these words, but they mean nothing to me.” You exclaimed, growing frustrated. You hated not knowing what was going on.

“Don’t get snappy with me. I’m trying to help, believe it or not.” He told you warningly as he stood from his seat, walking over to you. “You can either accept it, or bury your head in the sand. But you and I both know that won’t help you at all.” You stared up at him, your eyes tired. You just wanted it to stop.

The Doctor entered the room, sending a warning glance the Master’s way as he back off slightly, giving you space as she sent you a small reassuring smile. As soon as she entered it felt like your mind was heating up. The whispered increased in volume as you stared at her.

“We think we may have found it.” She told you as she showed you a small box. You instantly recognised it.

“That’s my fathers. Why have you got it?” You inquired as you felt warmth emitting from the box in her hand.

“You believed it was your fathers. This isn’t just any old box. It’s what is holding your Timelord consciousness.” She told you calmly, the Master watching from the side, feeling a pull towards the box. All he wanted to do was open it. Find out who you were. “And I’m sorry.” She told you sincerely. “But you need to make a decision... Open it and let the Timelord back into your mind, or don’t... And...” She swallowed. “And die a human.”

You felt your mind race, as fears formed in your eyes. You heard cries emitting from the box, voices whispering in your mind. You were scared. You didn’t know who you were. You didn’t know why it was happening to you. The Master looked over at the box, as he heard someone tell him to open it. He didn’t hesitate as he grabbed the box from the Doctor’s hand, unlocking it before she could stop him.

“Stop!” She exclaimed, as a golden light flowed out of the box, flying towards you as you held your breath, feeling the golden light flow through your mind. You saw everything. Everything hit you at once. It was too much.

“What have you done...” The Doctor asked as she stared at the Master in shock. He ignored her as he watched the golden light envelope you. It quickly faded as you sat against the wall, staring at the two in confusion. “That wasn’t your choice to make.” The Doctor hissed at the Master as he continued to ignore her, staring at you. It was like he felt a warmth in his chest and mind, feeling another presence with him. It was new. It was different. It was... unbearable. You felt it too, as you stared at the man. You couldn’t say you felt too much different.

You just felt... alive.

~

Taglist: @drapetxmaniia @dannighost @imagine-whatever @impalasquiptyseven @yourlocalspacebisexual @the-sweet-space-bi @a--1--1--3 @blamerogertaylor @koschei-studies @koschei-taylor @lostshadow12 @hannahlilyyx @wonders-of-the-multiverse @ettorah @nikey-no-likey @imthedoctorlove @twentysomethingloser92 @startrekkingaroundasgard

[justanotherlifeff]

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm.

Levi POV

The M.P expected us to turn Eren in after the failed operation but Erwin apparently had a plan. I woke up and went to the dining hall to find (Y/N) making tea. Just two cups for today. She avoided looking at me. Her eyes were puffy which meant she cried to sleep. I never thought the death of our comrades would make her cry. She didn't seem like someone who would cry about what happened in the past that easily. I didn't want to judge her though because even if I didn't see her get too close to anyone from the team, she still must have cared. 

"Rough night?" I asked her as she set down a cup of tea and some biscuits in front of me. "Yeah. A bit" she answered and took a sip of her own tea. There was an awkward silence between us as I didnt know what to say to her. "I wish I died instead. Things would've been better that way" she murmured again and took a biscuit from the plate. "Don't say that. What happened has happened. We can't change anything and I'm glad that you're alive. You're a big asset to the team" I replied. I knew I was bad at giving condolences to people but this probably was the worst I've ever done. 

"You aren't glad captain. Wouldn't you have preferred it if Petra was alive instead? After all, you were supposed to get married to her. I... I could've saved her you know. But I didn't because I had some personal issues with her. I wasted that one second of advantage that I had over the female titan just because I didn't know which would've been the right decision. The one I made was clearly wrong, by general ethics and also because it caused a lot more trouble for you and uncle Erwin. The most horrible thing about it is that I… I felt relieved that she's out of my way. I regret the fact that my decision made someone lose their child and someone lose their… loved one. What I did is a punishable offence and I would gladly accept my punishment." she said looking down at the table. 

I sighed at that. Of Course she had something to do with this. Someone with her level of skills could've easily gotten out of that situation. 

"(Y/N), I will be blunt with you. What you did was selfish, irresponsible and immature. I won't go on with the ethics here because I personally killed people who had a problem with me back in the underground. However, (Y/N), we are not underground now. We are up here where ethics have value. I personally made some very immature mistakes during my first expedition too, trying to kill Erwin. That got the two people I ever gave a damn about killed. I won't report this to the higher ups because I tried to kill a comrade on my first expedition too due to my selfish whims. However, (Y/N), if anything like this happens again, I won't hesitate to report to Erwin. I care about my comrades and you will have to take responsibility for such actions. The titans are already out to kill us during the expeditions and killing each other won't help humanity or your goals. I won't ask you to be ashamed of what you did. You made the decision and you are owning it. However, I am not proud of what you did. I expected you to be able to keep your personal feelings out of your job. By the way what do you mean by that deal about marriage? Petra had a crush on me but the feeling wasn't mutual. I wish I transferred her to another squad but I can't change anything now. Petra and I weren't supposed to get married. She just ranted about it to her father I suppose so that he could convince me." I said to her in a monotone voice, wondering if that thing about marriage that Petra probably bragged to (Y/N) about made (Y/N) make such a bad decision while her eyes widened.

 "But I saw you two kissing... " she started when I interjected "she just confessed her feelings to me then and kissed me out of nowhere and you opened the door before I could process the whole information and push her off me." I explained. "But she told me you are dating her..." she started again and I interjected again to say "She was bluffing" this time annoyed because she just isn't getting the message. "But why.." she started again and I stopped her again to say, "because I like someone else you idiot! ". 

At this point, she looked like someone punched her in the gut as a flash of regret glinted in her eyes. It passed in mere seconds before she looked surprised at me and asked, "Heichou, don't mind me asking but are you gay? And is that Eren?" The look on my face probably made her understand how ridiculous that theory is. Why did she even assume that? "Sorry for assuming. But if you're not gay, it must be Hanji.." she muttered and I could see a speck of sadness in her eyes. Does that mean she likes me too? 

"Why would I even like that titan loving shitty glasses? She's like a sister." I told her in my monotone voice. "Oh! So, is it someone I know?" she asked me. "You do know that I'm your superior right brat? You shouldn't be asking questions like this." I told her. "You told me that I can trust you. Doesn't that mean you should trust me too? And these trust businesses kinda make us friends right? Since we are trusting each other about things that are personal? And I thought friends talk to each other about stuff like who they are interested in." she told me with a straight face but her voice betrayed her. She was nervous. 

"What's in it for you?" I asked her. She can't know I'm interested in her. "Just curious. I'm not great at making friends and since I happened to make a friend by myself, I just thought I'll try to make a conversation. Sorry for bothering you captain." she muttered, without looking at me. "Look, it's best if you don't know. I like someone I'm not supposed to. If this gets out, both her and my reputation will be on the line." I explained to her with a serious tone. It was the truth. After a pause, she said, "I happen to be in a similar situation" with a smile. She really should smile more often.

(Y/N) POV

I felt like a complete idiot. Of Course Petra lied. It was all sinking in now. I got someone killed because I was a selfish piece of crap. And to add to my guiltiness, she wasn't even with Levi heichou. How could I do this to her? To her parents? "Why the hell are you still alive! Such a burden... Just get out of my house and die somewhere will you?!" I remember a voice shouting at me, a memory of my childhood, a memory from the underground that never left me. Was I becoming like her? That woman who sold me off to that brothel? Was I becoming like my biological mother? That woman broke every promise she ever made to me. Could I live with myself if I became like that? 

I decided not to think more of it because I probably would never be able to look in the mirror and tolerate myself. With that, I stopped thinking about it and just as heichou mentioned that he liked someone, I blurted out that I am in a similar situation without giving it a second thought.

Who was he talking about? That day after looking at Petra kiss heichou, I came to the conclusion that I have feelings for Levi heichou and I don't regret Petra's death because her absence made my insecurities go away. I felt like I'm a monster for thinking that way and cried quite a bit thinking how disappointed my parents could have been, how disappointed everyone would've been in general as I thought about it last night. I also thought that heichou just lost his fiancee and I definitely didn't have a chance because he probably would be too devastated to be with other women.

 Now that I knew the truth, I felt plain guilt, however, as there was the slightest possibility that the girl heichou likes could be me, I didn't have any intention to let go of this chance. "I'll tell you who I like if you tell me about you. That way no one can double cross each other." I said to him. "I don't feel comfortable about telling you who she is." heichou stated, not looking at me. I could see him blushing. It was a sight to see. 

"We could play a game of 5 questions. We will ask each other 5 questions and both can answer as yes or no. Is that okay?" I proposed. I personally always hated this game that Eren and my fellow members of the 104 trainee corps made up but at that moment, I couldn't think of any other way to get heichou to open my mouth. "Isn't that a children’s game?" heichou asked me, raising an eyebrow. "Well, yes but we don't exactly have things to do right now so why not kill time doing this?" I reasoned. "Yeah I guess we do have some time to kill.." he answered, sounding a bit unsure. 

"Do I know her?" I asked. "Yes. And is it a man?" he answered and asked.

 "Yes. Is she from the 104 training Corps?" I answered and asked again.

 "Yes. Do I know him?" he answered and asked.

 "Yes. Was she in the top 10 recruitments?" I answered and asked. A blush formed on my face. So he was into someone from our training Corps.. 

He looked away and said, "Yes. Is he from the 104 trainee Corps?" The tension between us increased.

 "No. Was she in the top 3?" I asked not looking at him. If he says yes, it's either me or Mikasa. 

"Yes. Does he happen to be a squad leader?" he asked. His body was tense and he averted his eyes from mine. I did the same since I was too nervous.

 "Yes. Was she in the first position?" I almost whispered. I was speechless. I never thought that slightest hope could become something so big. 

"Yes. Is he the captain of the survey corps?" he asked while running a hand in his hair. His face looked serious. He was interested in me. 

"Yes'' I whispered. I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react. I should've felt happy but in reality, I felt terrified. I knew why I felt that way. It's because the reality sunk into me. The world was a cruel place. Bad things happened whenever I believed in people. I wasn't ready to lose him. I didn't know if I ever could be ready for that. He looked at me with wide eyes. I could see the fear in them. He was scared too and I understood why he felt that way. He was right. This was impossible.

Levi POV

Did we just confess to each other? What the hell am I doing? This isn't like me at all. I seriously agreed to play this stupid game those cadets made up just to know who she had feelings for? I knew that if it wasn't me, I would make their life in the survey corps much more hellish than it already is. Now that I know that it's me, it bothered me that I would have to break her heart. 

However, this girl made me make all sorts of bad decisions and I couldn’t even hate her for it. I looked straight at her eyes. She was blushing and her eyes were as terrified and sad as mine. This wouldn't work and she understood it. I was glad that she understood the issue because explaining this would be a big problem. 

The silence was broken by Eren. "Hey (Y/N), you made breakfast?" he asked her cheerfully. (Y/N) muttered a "No" with her usual monotone voice. Eren didn't notice the tention in the room because of how stupid he is as he sat down beside (Y/N). "They are late.." I broke the silence.

 "I can't believe that good-for- nothing Erwin.. Making me wait. The MPs are going to get here first. Most likely.. He's having some trouble taking a shit." I stated which made Eren laugh while (Y/N) remained stoic. She probably still was processing everything. I took another sip of the tea and placed it on the saucer. 

"Heichou, you're pretty talkative today," Eren pointed out nervously. Of Course I was. I confessed to (Y/N) a while back and the situation just got more complicated. I was talking so much because there was too much on my mind. "Don't be stupid. I've always been talkative" I answered instead. 

"Eren" (Y/N) called out, her face looked like it had aged suddenly. I knew that she was about to talk about her contribution to the death of my squad to Eren. She seemed more worried about the squad's death.

 "I could've saved Petra and that would've saved Oluo but I didn't because of my own personal issues. I was wrong to do that. My priorities shouldn't be greater than anyone's life. I need to know if you can forgive me after hearing this." she told him, her voice monotone. 

"(Y/N)... I can't forgive you for the decision you made but, I made a wrong choice too. That was what got you in that situation. It all started from me. Back then, if only I hadn't made the wrong choice things might have been different. Even you were injured..." Eren stated, looking at me at the end.

 "I told you two. No one knows how things will turn out. Stop blaming yourselves for this. It's just how the situation was." I answered, shutting them up. The last thing the survey corps needed right now were soldiers that had regrets. Just then Erwin and the others arrived.

(Y/N) POV

Armin came to a conclusion that Annie could be the female titan. The plan was, when the military police would come to escort us, Eren, Armin and Mikasa would sneak out. They would take Annie to the abandoned underground city in stohess district and fight her there with some other survey corps soldiers and with Eren's titan powers. I was supposed to be with Levi Heichou and Uncle Erwin. Both of us were injured and we weren't allowed to participate in the fight. 

Everything was going according to the plan until there was a lightning and a gust of smoke. We knew the plan had failed. Commander Nile looked surprised and was talking to Uncle Erwin. I looked at Levi heichou. He was staring at the smoke. Suddenly he looked at me and said, "seems like plan A failed. We need to go somewhere safe until the fight is over. Go tell Erwin to make his conversation quick and get moving". " Yes heichou" I replied and went to Uncle Erwin. My mind was still stuck to the conversation we had this morning. Heichou was right. It was impossible. But... If I couldn't have the one I love, I couldn't reach my goal of happiness. In that case, what's the point of being alive?

To be continued... 

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder @realityisoftendisapointing