#sideshow bob the simpsons

[chrymind]

Giving a toast :]

[the-evil-lovable-simp]

Sideshow Bob x vampire reader

Part 2

Since Bart's family didn't know you were a vampire, they had invited you on a day out, and unfortunately for you, it was a grand sunny day. As you were walking down the streets you were getting many weird looks, you were wearing a big sunhat with big sunglasses and you were holding an umbrella over your head. But there wasn't a cloud in the sky. You were all heading to a fair, it wasn't too far, and that's why you guys had decided to walk, much to Homer's dismay. As soon as you got there the two kids ran away and then you noticed that Marge and Homer had disappeared with the baby and then you were alone with crowds of people. You sighed and started walking around, it was hard to walk around through people with an umbrella. You watched the people run around and scream, that's when you saw someone sitting at a bench on their own, reading a book, it was...oh what was it, oh yes, Robert. You got out of the crowd. You slowly walked towards the bench and gently sat down, so quietly Bob didn't even notice.

"Hello, Robert," You said as elegantly as possible, he jumped slightly, not expecting anyone to be near or talking to him.

"Do, do we know each other?" he asked, you angled the umbrella so he could see your face.

"Oh, it's you, nice to see you again...um, I do apologize, I never got your name," he said trying to see your eyes under your glasses.

"It's (y/n)," You giggled.

"Well, I'm starting to think, (y/n), that you're stalking me," he said in a joking way. You laughed "Oh, no no, if I was, you wouldn't know!" You continued to laugh as his died down after you said that last bit. He then looked at the umbrella, this confused him further. He closed his book, this, attracting your attention.

"What are you reading?" you asked, he looked down at his book and then back at you.

"Only one of the greatest authors known to man, Shakespeare, the book I'm reading is called, Macbeth," He announced proudly.

"Oh, Gulielmus, for short I liked to call him Will" Bob stared at you perplexed as you continued.

"I even read some of his non-published books, he also gave great head," You said looking satisfied.

"The nerve, there's no way any of that happened," He argued as you stared at him blankly.

"Ok" you shrugged, he stared at you, expecting something else, he did not understand your humour.

"Soooo, what do, um, people do for fun in fairs?" you asked getting closer to him, scooching on the bench. It still surprised him that you were this interested in talking to him even with all the things he's done. He looked at the fair and then back at your face.

"Let me show you," he said getting up and putting his book away, he turned looking down at you, putting his arm out for you to link. You smiled, showing off your fangs. You shot up, energetically linking arms with him, you almost knocked him over. You put your umbrella over both over you, it only just fit over Bob's hair. You set off, walking towards a stall, there were no lines so you didn't have to wait. The man inside got excited because he finally had customers, he ran up to the counter, while the other guy was asleep on a stool.

"$10 for four goes," the man said.

"And people call me criminal," Bob grumbled to himself.

"What?" You asked even though you heard him, he coughed.

"Nothing..." He answered quickly, putting down the money and the man put down the four balls. "Now, what you have to do is hit the bottles with the balls, like this, watch," He said grabbing one and throwing it, it did hit it, but nothing happened, "ergghhereeh" you heard him.

"I'll try again!" he states, he grabs another and throws it harder this time......still nothing.

He hit his fists on the counter.

"This game is rigged I tell you!!!" He yelled as the man owning the stall jumped and looked scared, you wondered why.

"Can I try?" You asked, this caught both the men's attention.

"Sure, I don't want to do it anymore" Bob said giving you the last two balls. You put down your umbrella, it was ok since you were under the stall's shade. You aimed, but not at the bottles at the man on the stool, and you threw, you hit the man in the head making him fall over, but he didn't wake up.

"BAHA ha ha haha haa!" You heard next to you, you looked and saw Robert laughing.

"Ha ha ha you're haha you're supposed to hit the bottles!" Bob explained while still laughing.

"Oh," you said, you lifted your arm, getting ready, you lifted up your leg, and you threw, you used a lot of strength in this throw. The ball Caught on fire, it hit the bottle, but it also knocked over the table and all the rest of the other piles of bottles, ending up with them all smashing on the floor.

Bob and the man who owned the game you just ruined stood there with both their mouths agape. You turned to them with a wide smile.

"What now!?" You asked excitedly.

"Well, I think traditionally," Bob gave the man a scowl, "You get a prize," he smiled threateningly at the man, the guy cowered.

"Well, I h-have these," the man said presenting some Krusty the Clown merchandise.

"Ehggeehgah" Bob grumbled, "Don't you have anything else?" he said miffed off.

"Well..." The man gulped "I have these, years back some businessmen said they didn't need them anymore," the man explained putting down some really familiar cuddlies. You gasped and grabbed one, it looked like Robert, but in a weird green skirt thing. Bob's eyes widened, he had forgotten about those embarrassing things.

"Is this you!?" you asked amazed, Bob started fake laughing.

"Ha ha ha, (y/n) don't be preposterous, you jokester ha ha!" He said trying to change the subject.

"Well, it looks like you," you said.

"It sure is him-" The man started to add on to the embarrassment.

"No it's not!!!" Bob snapped.

"Well I like it," you said grabbing your umbrella once more, this caught Bob off guard, you like the cuddly of him?!?! You started to walk off, Bob gave the man one last scowl and ran to catch up with you, to talk some more.

(guys this story is also on wattpad)

[squibbledawg]

so uh i've been watching the simpsons lately and i keep seeing this fella and ngl bucko is pretty cunty

[flyinghellfish]

[simpsorama]

[slyandthefamilybook]

every fucking day goyim on my dashed board say "sorry yall. I fell for another antisemitic conspiracy theory again :/ welp! what can ya do :/"

[excitementshewrote]

[lueduar01]

bart finally had enough of bob!

[vapefeare]

no reason to be doing all of that

[fauchart]

Snake Gets Trolled

+ bunch of requests from a lil while ago :]

[the-evil-lovable-simp]

Sideshow Bob x Vampyre Reader

(wwdits)

You were in the store, on your own since your familiar was too scared to leave his house. He said something about some guy, called Sideshow Bob being released a few days ago. He's scared of him killing him, which is preposterous, if anyone were to threaten you or him you'd kill them, or at the very least scare them away. You looked at the products in front of you, without the boy here how were you supposed to know what these things properly were? Bart's dad, Homer, had asked you to go get Duff, or whatever the hell that means. You see someone you think works here.

"Errr, excuse me, do you happen to know what duff is and of its whereabouts?" You asked the scrawny 19-year-old, he turned looking at you.

"Um, if I'm remembering correctly, I think it's on the 11th aisle," he replied.

"Why thank you," and then you quickly disappeared around the corner, looking for the 11th aisle. When you finally got there you looked around and spotted cans that said duff on them. As you grabbed them some teenagers walked past.

"Hey, it's not Halloween, loser!" You turned to face them.

"And good evening to you too, my young fellows!" You said, they gave you weird looks and walked off. You looked back down at the cans in your hands, whilst doing so you could sense someone looking at you. Thinking it were the teenagers again you snapped your head up in that direction. You made eye contact with a man, who was most certainly not the teenagers. He smiled nervously not wanting you to recognise him from the news. Now you got a good look at him, you noticed his hair was shaped like a palm tree, a maroon one. Your eyes scanned down the man, he had a blue shirt on with a bit of a round middle, your eyes scanned lower to his beige pants, and then your eyes lingered on his shoes, in all your time you had never seen feet that size. You were cut from your thoughts as the man started walking towards you and talking. He didn't want you to figure out who he was, little did he know you don't look at the news. "Don't listen to them, I like your costume," he said smoothly. You looked at yourself then back at the man in front of you.

"What costume?" you asked confused. The man looked dumbfounded.

"I-I-I duh um," but before he could explain himself he could hear a phone ringing. You got it out of your pocket once you finally found it, answering it it was Homer.

"Heeeeellllooooooooo," you said strangely.

"Have you got my beer yet?" Homer whined on the other end.

"Oh! oh yes! The cans with liquid inside" you said waving the duff around, whilst Bob stared at you.

"Just hurry up already!" Homer cried like a baby on the other side.

"Ok ok" You sighed, you looked back up at Bob.

"Goodbye palm tree man," you waved to him as you walked away, leaving Bob to wonder what had just happened.

--------

You walked past the Flanders' house and saw Ned waving at you from the window, you felt uneasy, you could feel all the crosses and religious stuff in that house, you ran away and got to the Simpsons' house. You had already been invited into this house before, so you formed into vapor and seeped underneath the door.

"I'm back!" you yelled, Homer came running.

"Heeeeeyyy...how did you get in-*gasp* Beer!" He then suddenly went sour.

"Only six!" He grabbed the beer off you and walked back to the couch. You then went up the stairs, walking to Bart's room. You opened the door to get hit in the head with a rock, that had been fired with a slingshot. It didn't faze you, it practically did nothing.

"Oh it's you, I thought you were Sideshow Bob, sorry" Bart sat back down on his bed looking sad.

"S'fine," you said in a monotone voice, you smiled ruffling his hair.

"Get some rest kiddo," Bart giggled. After Bart had finally fallen asleep you went to the window to watch stars slowly move across the sky, you were also waiting for it to be morning, your bedtime.

----------

You climbed out of the coffin you and Bart had disguised as a toy box. It was finally the start of the night. You walked up to Bart's window and opened it quietly, and tried your best to quietly close it. Once that was done with you transformed into a bat. You flew all the way to the park. You found a spot you wanted to land and transformed back and landed on your feet.

You calmly walked down the path, but your lovely stroll was soon rudely interrupted. A man in a hoody had walked up to you with a gun.

"Give me your wallet!" he shouted, you stared at him, waiting for him to correct his mistake.

"If you continue, you will regret this," you said emotionless.

"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKI-" You cut him off, grabbing his throat, and you shoved him into the grass, he shot you in reflex and it didn't really do anything, there was blood but it healed quite quickly. You showed your teeth and sunk them into the man's neck, draining his whole blood supply and discarding his body. His blood didn't even taste very nice. You started walking again, while you were walking you noticed a figure ahead of you. As you got closer you realised it was the man from the store. You quietly snuck up behind him.

"Fancy seeing you here," you said startling him since he didn't know anyone was there. He turned around

"It's you from the shop, you called me Palm Tree Man," he said recognising you.

"Well, I don't really know your name," you said childishly.

"Robert," he said thankful that someone doesn't know him as a criminal.

"Sooooooo, what are you doing out this late?" you asked, he was taken aback.

"I-um I like walking at night, you?" continuing the conversation.

"I just had my breakfast!" You said happily.

"ch-bu-h-what? Breakfast?!" He asked, not sure if he heard correctly.

"Yup" You answered starting to walk again, he started walking with you. That's when he noticed the bullet hole in your clothes and the blood on your shirt.

"Oh my! Are you alright?" he questioned concerned, you looked down.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, it's nothing" You smiled walking backwards. Bob knew it was most certainly not nothing but he didn't push because he'd only just met you he doesn't want to scare you away. You were enjoying talking to this man, you kept walking until he had stepped on a rake, he flinched closing his eyes waiting for it to smack him in the face and for the pain, but it never came. He opened one eye and saw that you had quickly grabbed the rake before it could hit him. He looked at you, your face looked so, angry. All of a sudden you were happy again and flung the rake into the sky and it disappeared. Bob watched in awe as it didn't seem to come back down.

[beefycupcakes]

"We're going to jail, brother!"

*Sideshow Bob groan*

[animatejournal]

The Simpsons Director: Rich Moore Studio: Gracie Films | USA, 1993

[smibberz]

Magma doodles

[simpsorama]

[iamthehappyjester]

he's genuinely terrifying actually in concept