#side note this was a genuine hell to complete
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i hope that the light will hit you

#more of them but SWAPPED#tbh i haven’t been putting a bunch of thought into them besides gojo’s possible motives for wanting to purge all non sorcerers#i won’t lore dump unless someone asks because i’m non chalant like that#side note this was a genuine hell to complete#i never want to revisit it ever#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanart#geto suguru#suguru geto#geto jjk#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo jjk#jjk gojo#satosugu fanart#satosugu#gego fanart#gego#i kind of hate this lowkey but it’s okay
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i think my issue w a lot of umineko fandom takes is the lack of empathy in a story that was structured very much around empathizing with your explicitly shitty family
#people are really bad at empathizing with people they dont think deserve it. power to them but ryukishi definitely wanted you to empathize w#people like kinzo and george and etc. i wouldve said eva but who the hell doesnt love eva#and empathize doesnt have to mean anything other than the empathy itself. its not a justification or a statement of forgiveness#its simply an understanding and an acceptance. thats meant to bring you#the observer or the victim in sayo’s case. a sense of peace. and of course most importantly#LOVE#which is the healing element. and this was very much integral to the Point#just a ramble on why I really value every umineko character especially the worst ones lol#i mean in my own life. i have felt the power that comes with that kind of empathy and sometimes yes forgiveness#so it was a profound read for me on that level#its genuinely such a beautiful story. dont think a lot of authors have hit this note on the head like kishi does#ugh I could go on. because empathy is a huge part of it but theres also an important social commentary in that like#the worst person you know is like that because someone or something made them that way#the tragedy of thinking what ‘could have been’ the different sides of ourselves the way patriarchy harms the women firstly but also damages#the men so thoroughly and completely…#i dont see any evil in any of the characters theyre all human beings who are so realistic and doing what is their flawed best
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𝐒𝐨 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝—𝘏𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘫𝘪𝘯 𝘹 (𝘧𝘦𝘮) 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
A Stray Kids one shot

Synopsis: If you're gonna eat something, at least check the wrapper before putting it in your mouth.
Warnings: Aphrodisiac chocolates. SMUT 🔞. Rough Dom Roommate!Hyunjin (is mentioned to be kind of a playboy). Unprotected hard sex, hair pulling, overstim, oral (f. recieving), multiple positions, orgasms, dirty talk, cussing, filthy, degradation, creampie, cum eating, name calling & pet names, mentions of the pill, confessions, to lovers at the end. Holy hell that's a lot—
Note: To be honest, idrk how this chocolate works fr. I wrote this after seeing a few review videos and some fics I read. But again, anything works in fiction so just let it feed your delulu.
Minors do not interact!!!
If this isn't your thing, you're more than welcome to skip it. Reblogs, likes, comments and feedbacks are always appreciated.
ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴘᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.
Word count:5.5k
𝑬𝑵𝑱𝑶𝒀!
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
Work this week sucked.
So much to the point that you were begging for the weekend to come over as soon as possible every night since Monday.
Finally it's here.
And you like a weekend without plans because then you can just go back to your apartment, slip into your PJ's and binge Netflix with a tub of ice cream for 48 hours.
Your boss—who technically wasn't your boss but the director of another department—had you running around the office like a dog the entire week which increased your urge to punch him in the face.
What was he thinking?
But like the good employee you are, you did all the tasks at hand before slipping on your coat and bag and leaving the office as fast as you could.
Man you needed something sweet to wash this headache away.
You walked into the nearest supermarket, tapping away on your phone, texting your bestie about the new concert tickets you wanna buy later tonight.
The doors slid open and you knew the aisles by heart, you walked into the candy section and grabbed a few wrapped pieces of chocolate that was on the shelf.
Oh you dumb girl, read the label.
But you couldn't care less.
You slipped your phone between your neck and shoulder calling your bestie about the tickets as you walked over to the counter with the chocolates in your hand.
You didn't even bother to spare a glance at the cashier who watched you with equal amounts of genuine shock and horror as you unwrapped a piece and shoved it into your mouth, stuffing the wrapper in the pocket of your jacket.
Everything was fine but by the time you reached your apartment, something felt… off.
Your skin felt warmer than usual, your breath a little heavier. You tugged at the collar of your shirt, frowning. Maybe the stress was finally catching up with you?
Brushing it off, you unlocked the door, stepping inside—only to freeze in your tracks.
Hyunjin—your annoyingly handsome, sexy and single roommate—was sprawled on the couch, shirtless, one arm draped lazily over the backrest, scrolling on his phone, completely oblivious to your presence.
His hair was slightly damp, probably from a recent shower, strands falling effortlessly into his eyes.
It wasn’t as if you’d never seen him like this before. Living together meant accidental glimpses of bare skin and passing each other in various states of undress.
But right now? Right now, your body reacted differently.
Your mouth went dry, your stomach coiling with something unfamiliar. Your eyes traced the lines of his toned torso, the sharp definition of his abs, the way his sweatpants hung low on his hips.
You clenched your fists at your sides.
Why did he have to look like that today, of all days?
He sensed you standing frozen near the doorway, looking up at from his phone, his lips parted in mild acknowledgment before his brows furrowed slightly.
“You good?” His voice was deep, casual, but you swore it sent a shiver down your spine.
“I—I’m fine,” you mumbled, forcing yourself to look away as you kicked off your shoes. The heat spreading through your body only intensified.
It was unbearable. Your fingers twitched, desperate for relief from an ache you barely understood.
Hyunjin’s eyes narrowed slightly as he sat up. “Are you sure? You look kinda... flushed.”
Of course, he would notice. Your annoying, perceptive roommate.
You turned away, removing your jacket and hanging it on the coat hanger, something falling out of the pocket but you didn't notice it.
“It’s just hot in here,” you muttered, heading toward the kitchen, needing something—anything—to distract yourself.
Hyunjin eyed you curiously for a few seconds, before looking back into his phone, you opened the fridge, grabbing a cold bottle of water.
You twisted off the cap with slightly trembling fingers, taking a long gulp but it didn’t help one bit. Slowly you walked into your bedroom.
Hyunjin watched you disappear into your room before something at the doorway caught the corner of his eye.
He got up and picked up the wrapper on the floor, his eyes widening before he let out a sharp laugh.
Inside your room, you were going crazy. Your body buzzed, hot and bothered. You needed release, so badly that you turned to your nightstand, looking for your favourite toy.
You got on the bed, grabbing it, attempting to turn it on, only to realise the thing was out of battery. You stared at the lifeless toy in your hands, frustration curling in your stomach.
The ache between your thighs was unbearable, a deep, throbbing need that refused to be ignored.
A sudden knock on your door made you jolt. “Yo.” Hyunjin’s voice was muffled but clear, amusement laced in his tone. “You might wanna explain why you were eating aphrodisiac chocolates without knowing.”
Your entire body went rigid. What?!
Oh you absolute idiot.
Your silence made him twist the doorknob and enter your room, only for him to see you scrambling to shove the useless toy under your pillow and your not helpful little night fit that hardened his cock in an instant.
The lacy, flower patterned camisole top did absolutely nothing to hide those peaks that were straining the fabric, your exposed collarbones and neck sparking something utterly primal in his mind.
You clenched your thighs together, hoping that he would just drop it and leave.
But of course, he didn’t.
“So…” He paused for a moment, and then, in a voice laced with wicked amusement, “How’s that working out for you?”
Your breath hitched, heat crawling up your neck as you pressed your thighs together even tighter.
“I—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you stammered, but the way your voice wavered completely sold you out. Hyunjin scoffed, stepping further into your room, completely unfazed by your flustered state.
He twirled the chocolate wrapper between his fingers, holding it up like evidence. “Really?”
He tilted his head, eyes dragging over your body, taking in the way your chest rose and fell rapidly, how your hands clenched into the sheets like you were fighting against your own urges.
Yeah, you were struggling.
He leaned down, so close you could count every lash of his beautiful eyes and feel his breath hover over your flushed face.
The scent of his skin, clean, fresh out of the shower, mixed with something undeniably him, invaded your senses, making your head spin.
You swallowed hard, refusing to look at him. But then, he reached up and traced a finger along your jaw, tilting your face toward him.
His voice dropped, smooth like silk. “Tell me what you need.”
You squeezed your eyes shut. “I don’t need—”
“Liar.” His breath ghosted over your lips. You whimpered. Goddamn him.
"All you have to do is ask. If not, I'll just let you be and you can stay till it wears off." He said simply, shrugging while playing a devilish smirk on his lips.
You looked at him with glassy eyes, clogged throat and aching need throbbing between your legs that you seemed to intensify with every passing second.
Sensing your hesitation, Hyunjin got up before your hand wrapped around his wrist. He looked down at the contact then at your face which was now flushed hot, slight goosebumps pebbling your skin.
It's not that you didn't want him. God how couldn't you not want him?
It was a secret you'd take to your grave but the amount of times you've found yourself getting jealous of the girls who spent nights with him was countless.
You often wondered how—what—it would be like to feel him. All of him.
His fingers brushed a stray strand of hair off your face as he leaned down again. "Tell me what you want Y/N." he murmured, voice dangerously low.
"T—touch me Hyunjin."
His restraint snapped.
Before another breath could make it past your lungs, his mouth was on yours, your back against the headboard as his hands pressed on either side of your head.
His knees straddled you as you pushed forward, giving him plenty of access to claim you right there with the press of his lips alone, letting him slip his tongue through yours, kissing you hard, fast and desperate.
Hyunjin's hand wrapped around the edge of the blanket that was covering you beneath the waist, he yanked it away and no amount of restraint prepared him to see you completely bare underneath it.
"No panties..." he half threw the blanket, it dropped on the floor. "You're gorgeous when you're needy."
Hyunjin exhaled against your lips, his hair brushing against your cheek. His touch was all-consuming, his presence overwhelming in the best way possible.
Your breath broke when his slender fingers slid between your legs. He teased them along your entrance, collecting the wetness before sliding up to your clit, rubbing slow, torturous circles, sending a jolt of electricity through your body.
You arched into him, a whimper slipping past your lips. “Look at you. You're soaked.” he murmured, eyes gleaming with something dark and possessive.
"Please...I..." you let out a breathy moan.
He dipped his head down following your plea, his breath ghosting over you. “I bet you taste as sweet as that chocolate.”
And then, without warning, his tongue flicked out, dragging through your folds in one slow, deliberate motion.
A strangled moan left your lips, your thighs clamping around his head, but Hyunjin only groaned in response, gripping your legs and pinning them against your chest.
And then you were taken to the heavens with his tongue alone.
He worked so expertly, licking and flicking, sucking and worshipping your cunt like it was the end of the world.
His teeth grazed your tender, erect clit and you bucked up, pushing your needy pussy up his face coating him in your arousal.
Every new spot he hit sent you spiralling, the noisy slurps mixing with your loud whimpers echoing off the walls like a sinful symphony.
Your hands found the way to his hair, wanting him closer, harder, faster until you couldn't breathe, until you couldn't think, just letting him give you everything he could do with his mouth.
It was hot, devastating, mind blowing, the way he ate you out like no tomorrow, the coil growing tighter and faster with each lick.
Hyunjin pulled back with a wet sound, his chin glistening. "You taste so fucking good, baby."
His fingers replaced his tongue, sliding inside you with ease, stretching you open as he scissored them, curling just right against your sweet spot while his lips wrapped around your clit.
"Fuck—Hyunjin—" Your hips bucked against his hand, chasing that friction, that high.
His long digits moved in and out, the squelching sounds spasming out of your cunt as he continued speeding up.
"Greedy little thing," he chuckled, adding a third finger. "You like being stuffed full, huh?"
You couldn't answer, couldn't form a thought. Your walls clenched around his fingers, your stomach tightening, the pleasure building to an unbearable peak.
"You're close, aren't you?" Hyunjin mused, pressing a kiss to your thigh as his fingers moved faster. "Go on, make a mess on my hand."
With a broken moan, your body tensed, pleasure crashing over you in waves. Your walls pulsed around his fingers, a pool of liquid gushed out as he kept moving, working and drowning through your ecstasy until you were trembling.
He groaned, pulling his fingers out, watching as your arousal coated them. He brought them to his lips, sucking them clean with a satisfied hum.
You watched him, catching your breath, not even halfway through before you got up and straddled him, your wet cunt landing on top of his now visible, hard bulge.
His fingers dug into your hips, holding against him as your hot breath fanned over his skin.
"I, I can't—fuck me— please."
His devilish grin grew wider. "You sure you won't regret it later baby?" He cooed but your brain was too fogged with lust, the chocolate you consumed now working on full power.
You grinded his clothed cock, letting your juices stain his sweats and his head fell back at the feeling.
Within a heartbeat, your camisole was lost and his sweatpants were gone, his arm scooped around your waist, guiding your body to meet his cock that was jutting up.
You sank in one smooth push of his hips, but had to force your walls to adjust to the sheer size of him, the tip of his long, veiny cock touching the sensitive spot in you that made you throw your head back, digging your nails into his shoulders.
You rocked your hips back and forth, meeting his upward thrusts as his lips connected with your bouncing breast, the other getting playing and kneaded under his big hand.
You rode him, chasing another orgasm, whimpering and moaning while he sucked on your breast, letting the sensitive bud end up swollen, slick and sore.
"Fuck yes, ride that dick like the slut you are," he gasped, releasing the peak with a pop!, holding your waist tight enough to leave marks that would last for days.
He filled you in the most delicious way ever, your gummy walls clamping him, driving every single logical sense out of his brain.
His thumb pressed on your chin as he cupped your face, touching his lips with yours, kissing you roughly but equally smoothly as you kept rolling your hips on top of him.
"Ha—oh god, Hyun—oh fu...I love your cock."
Your words were filthy, mind so clouded with lust that it sounded coherent to your ears.
Hyunjin's hand that was on your waist held you and pushed you on to your back, before pulling out and flipping you on your stomach, tangling your hair in one tight fist before he slammed into you in one punishing thrust.
He pulled your hair back, his other hand going down to cup your breast, pinching the erect peak. The pleasure of it all overlapped with pain as he continued to thrust into you with hard strokes again and again, your hands fisting the sheets below.
"You're such a fucking slut. With a pussy so tight." he slammed hard right as a stinging slap! landed on your ass that made you cry out loud. "I should have fucked you way earlier than this."
Did he perhaps eat the other piece of chocolate? Maybe he did—
Everything around ceased to exist in that moment, only the rhythmic sound of flesh against flesh, headboard banging against the wall and the loudest moans that were for sure to be heard by your neighbours filling the sex fogged air.
It was like that sweet—oh so you thought, 'didn't check the wrapper', harmless—chocolate dug through your senses bringing out carnal urges you never knew existed.
It wasn't not enough and too much to bear all at once.
Your face fell in the pillows as you let out a muffled scream when he hit that spot that shattered you into shards, making you flood around him.
He was close to snapping too, but he prided himself so much that he wasn't going to come until he's had you so utterly spent till you can't take it anymore.
His grip on your hair loosened, pulling back just till the velvet tip remained in your entrance. Just as you thought he was about to pull out entirely, his hands wrapped around your wrists, pinning them to your back as he slammed back into you once more.
"Don't think you're done yet you cockdrunk slut. I'm not stopping till I decide you've had enough. Got it?" He growled and you nodded senselessly against the pillows, sweat coating your bodies as he regained his pace.
You gasped up, needing air, breathing erratically as he pounded into you harder and harder—slam, slam, slam—your ass meeting with stinging slap!, slap!, slap!, skin now sore and red.
Tears ran down your cheeks relentlessly as he held your hands behind your back, continuing to fucking you from the behind.
You were never that into hardcore, rough sex but right now under the arms and getting wrecked by your 'how could he be single?' roommate and the effect of the aphrodisiac running through your veins, you wanted nothing but for him to just destroy you.
You didn't need to cry it out loud. Your aching, quivering body, greedy pussy basically engulfing his thick rod gave it away to him.
That small piece of candy was too powerful for its size. (Or maybe it's been quite while since you were fucked so good).
Right as you were about to come for the third time, he let go of your wrists, pulling out and turning you over, resting your legs on his shoulders and sank into you again.
He was so deep in, you could have sworn you felt him up your throat. You rasped his name, but he was so lost in the way your pussy swallowed his huge length that he lost all the sense in his brain.
He was consumed by the urge to just wreck your cunt and rearrange your guts.
"F—canf—Hyun, ah! More—!"
You were blabbering nonsense, your needy self just begging him to give you more and more.
"You're taking me so well," he praised, his grip tightening as he snapped his hips faster and deeper.
You clenched around him that made him hiss and come, making him spill his release in you before he could even process the thought of pulling out.
You felt his warm seed gather up inside you, painting you white, the continuous twitching of his cock making him pause and gently ease himself out, a long sticky string of his cum attaching from his tip on to your hole.
He watched as his release dripped from your spent core, his jaw clenching. "Fuck. Look at that."
You were completely wrecked—limbs heavy and body shaking. Hyunjin pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Hope you’re ready for round two, baby."
All that was round one?!
Because from the way his cock was already hardening again, you knew he wasn’t done with you yet.
Your eyes widened slightly, breath hitching as Hyunjin smirked down at you. He traced circles over your stomach before dipping lower, spreading your thighs wider.
His fingers brushed over your swollen clit, making you jolt, a whimper escaping your lips. "Hyunjin—" you gasped.
He hushed you with a kiss, deep and lazy, his tongue gliding against yours. "You can take one more for me, can’t you?" He whispered against your mouth.
Your body screamed in protest and anticipation at the same time. The aphrodisiac hadn’t fully worn off yet, leaving you sweaty, hot and needy despite your exhaustion.
You moaned breathlessly as Hyunjin guided himself back to your entrance, rubbing the tip against your hypersensitive core, teasing you.
"Please," you whispered, surprising even yourself with how desperate you sounded. He groaned, positioning himself at your channel again. "Good girl."
And then he pushed in.
The stretch was more intense this time, your walls still tight and sensitive from the last round. He took his time, slow and deep, groaning as he bottomed out inside you.
He rolled his hips gentler, dragging against your puffy walls, making you shudder beneath him. A salacious white ring formed around the base of his shaft, his huge hand sprawled over your tummy, massaging your skin, he could feel the bulge of his cock over your stomach.
The pleasure was overwhelming, crashing in ways beyond euphoria.
Your legs wrapped around him, heels digging into his ass forcing him in deeper until you felt the fat cockhead brush against your cervix. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and the moan you let out was borderline pornographic.
"Gonna make you come again," he gasped, as he continued his pace. "Will you come for me again sweetheart?"
His thrusts quickened, his grip tightening on your hips as he lost himself in you. Your nails raked down his back, desperate for something to hold onto as the pleasure built again just through his words.
"Come baby," he whispered, his hand pressing down harder on your stomach and then circled your clit, sending you spiraling into another release.
You screamed his name, your entire body arching as the climax ripped through you, leaving you trembling and reeling beneath him. His pace faltered, hips snapping erratically before he spilled inside you, filling and stuffing his load in you for the second time that night.
You gripped his muscled back as he fell on top of you, warm and comforting, both of you panting, drenched in sweat, breaths ragged and heavy.
Then, after a second of stretched silence, Hyunjin slowly lifted himself, gazing down at you. "You okay?" he murmured, brushing damp hair away from your face.
You nodded weakly, body still buzzing. Hyunjin pressed a kiss to your forehead before slipping out of you with a groan. He watched as his release seeped out from your drilled hole, and his jaw clenched.
"Fuck," he muttered, shaking his head. "I should clean you up."
You expected him to grab a towel and wipe you, but instead, he lowered himself between your legs again.
Before you could form his name, his tongue was on you, lapping up his own release, licking you clean with slow, precise strokes.
Your body jerked in overstimulation, but Hyunjin held you down, his grip firm as he cleaned every drop, humming in satisfaction.
Only when he was done did he finally pull away, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You taste even sweeter mixed with me," he mused, grinning as he climbed back up.
He watched you as he let you catch a breath after the intense fucking, you could feel the frantic blood rush, your core pulsing and a drip of slick running down out of your pussy.
Hyunjin's hand cupped your cheek softly before he asked lowly.
"Are you on the pill?"
Even if he used condoms with other girls he has fucked with, for some reason he always asked them that question. But the mere idea of protection didn't cross either of your minds tonight.
You gave a jerky shake of your head. "I...I stopped..."
He watched you, chest rising and falling, in now even breaths, eyes softening.
"Okay, don't worry. Sleep now. Let's talk in the morning."
He ran a hand through his sweat-damp hair, pulling the blanket over your body, turning on the AC, reaching down to brush his lips on your closing eyelids, exhaling sharply as he walked out of your room.
His body was still buzzing from everything that had happened, but his mind was clouded with thoughts.
Without letting another creep up his head, he walked to the bathroom, turning on the water, taking the coldest shower, closing his eyes as he pressed his forehead against the cold tiles.
***
The soft glow of the morning light seeped through the curtains, as you slowly stirred awake.
A dull ache pulsed between your legs, spreading through your thighs, and it took you a moment to register why.
Then it hit you.
The remnants of last night came back in flashes—the aphrodisiac chocolates, the way your body burned with unbearable heat, and… Hyunjin.
Your breath caught as the memories flooded back. The way he touched you. The way he took you. His dirty words and sweet praises.
You groaned, sitting up, feeling the slight stickiness between your legs. You looked down at your body, skin around your hips peppered with his fingerprint bruises, swollen nipples with a faint hickey on your breast.
Heat crept up your face at the realization. You slept with your roommate.
God...What happens now?
Before you could dwell on it too long, the door creaked open.
You glanced up, eyes widening slightly as Hyunjin stepped in. He was wearing a loose white tank top and black sweats, his hair tied in a mini ponytail. In his hands, he carried a tray.
Your heart stuttered at the sight.
You flushed as you felt him gaze at you, you pulled the sheets over your chest, suddenly feeling shy as if he hadn't already seen everything by now.
"Morning," he greeted casually, setting the tray on your nightstand. His gaze flickered to you, scanning your face for any signs of distress.
"How do you feel?"
You swallowed hard, glancing quickly at the tray before meeting his eyes. "Sore."
His lips quirked slightly. "Yeah... not surprised."
Heat rushed up your spine.
He sat on the edge of the bed, his fingers drummed lightly against his thigh before he gestured to the tray.
“I made you breakfast. Figured you’d need the energy after last night.”
You glanced at the tray—toast, berries, coffee… and a small blister pack. Your stomach clenched at the sight of the morning-after pill.
Your fingers tightened around the blanket as you looked back up at him. "You think I should take it?" you asked softly, voice barely above a whisper.
Hyunjin exhaled through his nose, tilting his head slightly. "It's your choice. But I wanted you to have the option. Whatever you decide, I’ll be here.”
Something in his tone made your chest tighten. You couldn’t quite place it. Was it regret? Reassurance? Maybe a mix of both.
You hesitated but then took the pack, popping the pill into your mouth, washing it down with water before setting the glass aside and reaching for the coffee.
Silence stretched between you two.
Then, Hyunjin sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “So… are we gonna talk about this?”
You set the mug down on your nightstand, glancing up at him. “Do we need to?”
His jaw tensed, but he nodded. “Yeah. We do.”
You swallowed. “Hyunjin, it was just the chocolate. That’s why it happened.”
His brows twitched slightly, and for a split second, you thought you saw something like disappointment flash across his face. But it was gone before you could process it.
“Right,” he said, voice carefully neutral. “Just the chocolate.” You weren’t sure why his reaction bothered you.
He let out a half frustration sigh, a faint tsk leaving his lips as he got up to walk towards the door.
You yanked away the blanket, ignoring the light sting in your crotch before he left completely, wrapping your arms around his middle making him freeze.
You pressed the side of your head against his back, heart pounding behind your ribcage.
"Tell me you don't feel the same and we can let this go like it never happened."
Hyunjin looked down at your arms around his body then glanced over his shoulder to look at you. His jaw clenched.
His fingers twitched at his sides, like he was fighting the urge to hold you back. Silence stretched between you both, thick with something unsaid.
Finally, he exhaled, turning to you fully. His voice was low when he spoke, almost cautious.
“Do you really want me to say that?” he asked, voice lower than before.
Your throat felt tight.
Yes. No. You didn’t know.
Your fingers twitched against his shirt, gripping the fabric. “Just say it, Hyunjin.” His fingers sunk into your hair before he exhaled, the weight of his breath brushing against your forehead.
“I can’t,” he admitted.
Your chest constricted, the world around you growing small, only his piercing gaze and the cold air making you shiver.
He unclasped your hold, turning to your clothes rack and grabbed your robe, covering you up.
Why does he do this? Why is he doing this?
"Why didn't you tell me what you felt?" He asked cupping your face, thumb grazing your cheek. His eyes searched for yours, brows furrowing slightly as if he was trying to piece a puzzle he should have solved long ago.
Your arms wrapped around yourself, fingers gripping the fabric of your robe. "Because it never mattered." you mumbled.
Hyunjin's jaw ticked. "That's not an answer."
"Every time I thought about saying something, about asking if we were more than just roommates, I'd hear you come home late after a date," you admitted, your voice shaking. "And then not long after, I'd hear...them..."
Hyunjin's lips pressed into a thin line. You didn't need to elaborate more. He knew exactly what you meant.
The walls of this apartment weren't thick enough to drown out the sounds of the women he brought over. The laughter, the muffled words, the occasional soft moans that cut through the night like a blade straight to your heart.
So you never said anything. Because it was obvious to you. Hyunjin would never have feelings for you.
While he was out dating, bringing girls home, moving on with his life, you had been stuck. Stuck wanting something you knew you could never have.
Hyunjin inhaled deeply, his fingers twitching against your cheek before he finally asked, "Does it still bother you?"
You hesitated. He waited.
You could simply lie. Say that it was because of the chocolate, that last night was a mistake and go back to how things were before. But your heart, your dumb heart screamed at you to be honest.
So you nodded gently, biting your lip.
He sucked in a sharp, low breath, his hand dropping from your face as he took a step back, rubbing his thumb over his bottom lip, processing your words.
"I see," he murmured.
The air between you felt thick. Too thick and heavy.
“I was trying to forget you.”
His words hit you like a slap. You blinked. “What?”
Hyunjin let out a humorless laugh, running a hand through his hair. “You think I wanted them?” He glanced at you, eyes dark. “I brought them home because I needed a distraction. Because every time I looked at you, I knew I couldn’t have you.”
Your stomach dropped. “What are you talking about?” you whispered.
His jaw tightened. “I caught feelings first,” he admitted.
“A long time ago. But I thought you only saw me as a roommate, as a friend. And if I told you, if I ruined everything, then what? If you didn’t feel the same, what would happen?”
He exhaled sharply. “So I tried to forget. I went on dates, I let them stay the night. But it never worked.”
Your breath was shaky now.
"Hyun," you started but he let out a quiet scoff, shaking his head. Before you could blink, his mouth crashed on yours, hungry and desperate, as if he was scared you're going to vanish away if he lets go.
You melted into his mouth, letting out what was like a quiet sigh of relief, until you pulled away, the gentle "ch" sound escaping your departing lips, trembling against his hold.
"Can I be yours?" He asked, the question slipping past him as if he had been holding it in forever. Your eyes widened, his words echoing in your heart before it reached your head.
"You..." your words clogged in your throat.
He smiled the softest smile you've ever seen radiate off him. "Yeah," he nodded. "Can I be your boyfriend?"
Of all the things you expected to happen after last night, this was never one of them.
Could he?
Could he be yours?
His gaze softened when you stayed silent, thinking of your answer. "I'm not asking because of what we did yesterday or because I want you to forget what I did before." He murmured, his voice filled with honesty.
"I'm asking because I want you," he continued, his fingers grazing your jaw, grounding you in the weight of his words.
"Not just for a night. Not just because of that chocolate. I want you because...it's always been you."
Your eyes welled, the sincerity in his voice made your heart ache.
The answer had always been there, buried beneath the stolen glances, the lingering touches, the unspoken jealousy. Beneath every time your heart clenched when you saw him with someone else.
And now you were standing here, with Hyunjin telling you he had been feeling just as much as you had.
You swallowed hard, then nodded smiling. “I want you too.”
Relief flooded his face, followed by something brighter and softer. He let out a breathy laugh, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Yeah? You do?” he repeated, almost teasing.
You huffed, the corners of your lips curling. “Don’t make me say it again.”
Hyunjin didn’t need to hear it twice.
His hands cupped your face, his eyes glimmering with something new that made your chest bloom with warmth.
Then, his lips found yours again.
This time, the kiss wasn’t desperate. It wasn’t rushed or fleeting. It was slow, sweet, as if he was memorizing you, promising something without words.
You sighed into him, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer and closer, until there was no space left between you.
Hyunjin’s thumb brushed over your lips. “I guess we’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.”
You smiled, tilting your chin up. “I guess we do.”
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Comparing Phaidei and Other Hoyo MLM Ships (Part 2)
<- Part 1 is back that way.
In the first part of this, I laid out some of the ways Phaidei fits within Hoyo's normal pattern for queer-coded MLM ships: They're equals but opposites, perfectly matched; they've ostensibly got a "rivalry" as a cover for their laser focus on each other; their models are deliberately placed closer together in cutscenes than other characters' are, and they're intentionally paralleled to a heterosexual married couple. All of these are traits that other Hoyo MLM pairs also show, a sort of foundational standard for Hoyo's queer-coded MLM ships.
But then Phaidei just took a huge side-step around all of them, and started doing things that Hoyo hasn't done in any of their other recent games. (Tiny aside here: HI3 does wildly different things with its characters; I think that being first published when Hoyo was a more obscure company allowed them to get away with things--like the Bronya/Seele kiss and Welt and Co.'s cross-dressing, for example--that "modern" Hoyo games cannot get away with due to greater levels of public scrutiny.)
I said it in the other post, but it bears repeating:
You really aren't imagining things--Phaidei is actually different.
So I wanted to take a closer look at what was making it feel so unique, by comparing its differences to other popular Hoyo MLM ships.
Here we go:
1. The Feeling's Mutual
There was no heterosexual explanation for this framing.
In Part 1 of this post, I noted that Hoyo has a typical personality pattern they follow when queer-coding their male characters, particularly in using "difficult" personalities to create an artificial sense of distance between the characters. If one character is angry all the time, or tsundere, or using sarcasm to cover for their fear of getting close to others, Hoyo can mobilize that personality gap as a shield to give anti-LGBT+ players plausible deniability. Hell, there are people still out there genuinely convinced that Alhaitham and Kaveh have a toxic relationship. There are people out there saying Ratio despises Aventurine because he was mean to him one (1) time while undercover. That's how effective injecting a little bit of bickering into a queer-coded relationship is.
Hoyoverse is very, very familiar with creating this delicate balance of teasing the ship while feeding anti-LGBT+ players and censors just enough "Look, they don't like each other; they're arguing!" contrary material to avoid setting anyone off.
Which... makes it absolutely bizarre that they made almost no effort to do this with Phainon and Mydei.
Sure, on paper we're told that Phainon and Mydei are rivals. Phainon describes it as "He's both my friend and my foe." And yes, they have their quips (Phainon's "It's exhausting talking to you sometimes" comes to mind).
But animosity--the genuine desire to one-up each other--is completely missing from Mydei and Phainon's "rivalry." They aren't Sasuke and Naruto. They aren't Izuku and Bakugou. They don't actually even want to beat each other--they want to be equals. If you defeat Mydei in the 3.0 competition, Phainon immediately folds and calls the contest off. If you let Mydei win, Mydei immediately folds and declares no contest.
Although Aglaea notes they compete because they're "impulsive youths," what she was actually missing is that Mydei only let himself be goaded into Phainon's hot bath competition because he was worried about Phainon and wanted to take Phainon's mind off the failed trial. Then, immediately after beating Phainon in the hot bath challenge, he lets Phainon win the "take more people home" challenge, to tie up their score again.
In fact, Mydei and Phainon's relationship is so devoid of the actual back-and-forth typical of other Hoyoverse MLM ships that at one point, Phainon even asks for it:
(Though he's equally quick to demand compliments from Mydei too.)
Instead, virtually every line from Phainon and Mydei through both 3.0 and 3.1 reiterates that they care deeply about each other, and are concerned for not only each other's physical well-being but also each other's mental and emotional health. They freely and consistently support each other both on the battlefield and off, confessing their struggles and relying on each other for advice. Whenever they're separated, the game intentionally hammers home how worried they are without the other around.
Over and over and over again, the devs tell you how well Mydei and Phainon know each other and how much effort they're putting in to take care of each other:
The game doesn't let us forget that they are one another's "closest person," and that the respect they have for each other is mutual. Although I wouldn't go so far as to speculate they actually recognize romantic feelings, canon makes it clear that they are aware their emotional connection goes both ways. They don't just value each other's battle prowess, intelligence, or usefulness--they value each other's feelings explicitly, every single time emotions are expressed between them in the game's text.
In fact, Mydei even scolds Phainon for approaching their goodbye with a straight face; he knows that Phainon is hurt by their parting, and he wants Phainon to be honest, as Mydei is being honest in turn:
The rainbows in the background really sold the scene, ngl.
This isn't Renheng, where resentment has taken away any glimmer of joy. This isn't Ratiorine, where even if Aventurine were in a more stable mindset, Ratio's inability to spit out his feelings might keep them from going anywhere. Even with Haikaveh, the Hoyo ship known for Alhaitham's devotion, Kaveh's own struggles and refusal to accept Alhaitham's kindness are an active plot point keeping them from progressing. Maybe you could draw a parallel between Phaidei and Cyno/Tighnari for levels of "mutual," but even then, Cynari interactions are often left off-screen or in the background, for the players to fill in the blanks. On the contrary, Phainon and Mydei's fondness for each other is constantly in our faces.
The devs wanted players to know Phainon and Mydei are invested. We're supposed to see how much they want to be near each other.
More than that, we're supposed to understand just how deeply they trust each other.
Okay, okay, yes, I know this is massive foreshadowing to the inevitable betrayal and tragedy impending (come on, Amphoreus wouldn't qualify as an ancient Greek drama without it!), but I think that a lot of people are missing the key here: By this point in the story, Mydei already knows how he's going to die. He knows someone is going to stab him in the back and finally end his immortal life. When he entrusts Phainon with this secret, he's not trusting Phainon to keep him safe. He's trusting Phainon to do the opposite.
He's telling Phainon: "I want it to be you."
If the prophecy can't be changed and fate is set in stone, then Mydei wants Phainon to be with him in his final moments, to be the one to finally set him free from the "curse" he perceives his own immortality to be. Of course it would be Hoyo who makes "I want to die by yours hands" into a declaration of ultimate trust, but it is an explicit statement of trust, in a way that very few--if any--other modern Hoyoverse MLM ships get to show each other on screen.
Phew, that was a lot!
But I think this is one of the clearest and most defining differences between Phainon and Mydei and other Hoyo MLM ships--the devs took away players' ability to claim they don't get along. You might still be able to call them "just friends" or "brothers in arms," but unlike Alhaitham and Kaveh who fight, Ratiorine who scheme, or Renheng who are actual enemies, Mydei and Phainon explicitly like each other. They trust each other. They seek one another out.
It might seem like a small thing on paper, but this is actually a big thing in practice. Hoyo is pushing the boundary here, reducing the avenues for deniability. It is harder for anti-LGBT+ fans to claim that Phainon and Mydei don't have obvious in-game ship-tease than for virtually any other modern Hoyoverse MLM ship. (By the way, this is why people have resorted to calling Phaidei "industry plant yaoi;" because they can't deny the queer-coding is actually there this time, they instead have to try to de-legitimize the ship in other ways, such as dismissing it as nothing more than bait.)
This also means Hoyo has less of an "out" if people start to really question. It would be harder to explain away Phainon and Mydei's relationship than it would be to explain away even Alhaitham and Kaveh's. Alhaitham and Kaveh have "They're always arguing" and "Their friendship was ruined by their fight" or "They're just roommates," etc. to lean back on. Phainon and Mydei... are really bad at even pretending to be rivals...
All of this to say: Hoyo made a bold and deliberate choice allowing two of their mainstream male characters to be so emotionally close and attentive to each other on screen. They went outside their own current comfort zone for this one, guys.
2. We're Conspicuously Missing a Twink
Moving on from Phaidei's emotional differences, I wanted to talk specifically about Hoyoverse's perspectives on gay men, and how easy it is for companies to slip into not only stereotypes for gay characters, but also extremely heteronormative portrayals of gay relationships. As sad as it is, it is easier to market queer-coded male characters to yaoi fans (who are often--although obviously not always--heterosexual women) if they fit into the expected pattern for heterosexual relationships: a highly masculine man to "wear the pants" in the relationship, paired with a delicate, effeminate man to obviously be the bottom.
Now, don't get me wrong: Gay relationships come in all varieties; people have different preferences, and categorical groups like "twinks" and "bears" exist so people who have those preferences can find each other. Obviously plenty of hyper-masculine (and just masculine-leaning) gay men do want more effeminate partners. Plenty of real guys consider themselves twinks and have great relationships with men ranging all the way up the most masculine dudes you've ever seen. But "masculine man with feminine man" isn't the only kind of gay relationship around, despite the fact that that's what Hoyo's yaoi shiptease might lead you to believe.
(Edit: I can't believe I have to say this, but it seems some portion the HSR fandom cannot read, so apparently I do: Stop using my post in your hunk/twink or hunk/hunk discourse; if you didn't bother to read the paragraph above this in which I word-for-word point out that real gay relationships come in all varieties, including lots of relationships between masculine men and more effeminate men, then that is on you--this post isn't about how "hunk/hunk" is more "real gay" material or "hurr durr twinks bad;" it's about how Hoyo has served up the exact same ship with different clothes on 13 times in a row, with their constant modus operandi being yaoi genre staple tropes in which one character is essentially designated as the bottom and the other as the top specifically using masculine versus feminine coding, because that is what sells to the yaoi fan demographic they are targeting, particularly to heterosexual female yaoi fans, who are predisposed toward heteronormative relationship patterns even in the gay media they consume. The only situation in which hunk/hunk is "more progressive" than hunk/twink is for Hoyo, who clearly have hunk/twink as their comfort zone and only very, very rarely step out of that established pattern. This entire post is about Hoyo's patterns for creating their mlm ships, not about gay rights activism--read the essay in the context of Hoyo's design philosophy or just stop reading here, fucking please.)
I don't want to say that Hoyo's track record on this front is bad, because honestly it's not. Their male characters often have surprisingly complex expressions of gender identity, with interesting blends of masculine and feminine traits. But... Hoyo does have a pattern. Plenty of their queer-coded MLM ships fall into this same general (and kind of stereotypical) profile: a masculine man with a more feminine man. Alhaitham is inexplicably ripped and represents calm rationality, while Kaveh is "the spitting image of his mother," has to wring out his wrists when he uses his own weapon, and represents passion and romanticism. Ayato is the head of his clan; Thoma holds housekeeping classes for Inazuma's other housewives. Xingqiu is the "refined" rich boy in ruffles; Chongyun is the down-to-earth working lad. Wriothesley is the most masculine man in Genshin Impact; Neuvillette mothers the entire race of Melusines. Over in Star Rail, Aventurine covets pink diamonds, bathes himself in sparkling perfume, and is so tiny Ratio's hands can encircle his waist. (I don't actually think Aventurine is that feminine, but trying to pretend that he isn't designed to evoke queer tropes is just silly.) Moze is as ripped as Alhaitham, while Jiaoqiu is... very pink. I'm going to talk more about Renheng in a sec, but Renheng is also this way, with the more "delicate"-looking Imbibitor Lunae to Yingxing/Blade's solid frame.
Mydei and Phainon don't fit this pattern at all. Both of them are as tall as Star Rail models come, and while Mydei's build has an impressive degree of bulk, Phainon is no slouch either:

Neither one of them is visually effeminate in any manner, and they're also not effeminate in personality or role in the story. Neither of them is a housekeeper or a home-maker; (again, poor Aventurine catching strays, but:) neither of them is in the business of blinding people into deals with their good-looks or careful facade of helplessness.
Theoretically we could say the devs tried to squish Mydei into a more heteronormative role by giving him traditionally "feminine" traits: he cooks, he plays house with children, he puts milk in his juice and turns it pink, he's paralleled almost exclusively to his own mother... But his role in the plot is such a quintessentially masculine story (son of a self-fulfilling prophecy, father-killer, god-slaying warrior, king to his people, aura-farming champion of the Amphoreus battle cutscenes, etc.) that clearly we are not meant to perceive him as a stereotypically feminine figure. The whole "malewife Mydei" thing comes across as so comedic because he is so masculine.
Conversely, Phainon, despite being the "gentler" of the two characters, the one who is described as having a soft heart and being outgoing and kind, is even less suited to being called feminine. His "Messiah"-esque role in the story, literally being the "prodigal son" of Amphoreus, paints him as the very picture of a classical male hero. Even more so than Mydei, he is a private and closed off person who hides his heart--and his own identity--from those around him, traits more often stereotypically associated with emotionally-closed-off men than female characters.
Up to this point, Hoyoverse had a relatively stable pattern in the MLM ships they baited in their recent games. They primarily played it safe, sticking to queer-coding relationships that both visually and narratively reflect heteronormative relationships.
But Phaidei once again broke the mold.
This time, Hoyo chose to queer-code not the more delicate-looking man (although I guess there's still plenty of time for Anaxa, I shouldn't sell him shorter than he already is lol), but two overtly masculine male characters, who can't be readily projected on to a stereotypical heterosexual relationship. This was a big departure from Hoyo's norm, and I think this actually deserves a lot more respect than people are giving it. Hoyo didn't have to pick their two muscle-bound warrior male leads and make them close and caring. They didn't have to expose themselves to the obvious question: "Why are two 'manly' characters being so soft on each other?" It is harder to pass off Phainon and Mydei's queer-coding as accidental, or suggest the fans are just reading too much into it, when nothing about them can be mistaken for a "traditional" heteronormative relationship. For a game produced in China, where standards for depicting men and masculinity in media are so high, making the choice to bait two masculine men together (let alone this expansion's "hero," who is an expy of a beloved former character), was a very bold and risky choice on Hoyo's part.
Companies don't make bold and risky choices on accident.
Finally, I wanted to make one more point about why I appreciate Phaidei's emotionally attentive depiction--it's because there's a whole other realm they could have taken the "definitely going to turn into a villain" queer-coded main character. As I mentioned in the first part of this post, queer-coding villains is a trope as old as dirt. When you queer-code a male villain particularly, you add an extra layer to the danger: Now the male villain is not just a physical threat, but a sexual one. Adding queer-coding to the male villain has often, in past media, been used to conflate homosexuality with deviance or perversion and suggests sexual violence even if nothing ever truly occurs.
Maybe the real Hoyoverse queer-coding was the red flower petals we threw along the way.
I said I was going to bring up Renheng, and here it is: Unfortunately, Blade and Dan Heng fall into this latter pattern a bit. Although he has his reasons, the game's portrayal of Blade's "pursuit," especially in the early portion of their story, casts Dan Heng into the role of the victim, a young man being hounded by a crazed stalker who refuses to let him go. Their cutscenes, including Dan Heng's nightmares, paint Blade as an overwhelming presence who invades both Dan Heng's physical space but also his mental space, making it impossible for Dan Heng to escape his clutches. This "We must pay the price together" absolutely reads, out of content anyway, as some sort of yandere death pact. Their lightcone is literally called "Nowhere to Run."
Even though Blade is not deliberately engaging in any form of sexual behavior, his obsession with Dan Heng in their early scenes can give players the impression of a cliched "depraved homosexual," and the implication that sexual violence could occur is present through their early interactions. This isn't on accident; Hoyo was playing with the yandere trope on purpose! I'm not going to lie, part of Renheng's early appeal for many players was how scary and dominating Blade came across as. The subtle sexual implications of pursuit are the point, and if you think Hoyo wasn't capitalizing on the intersection of "sexy" and "dangerous" with Renheng's early interactions, then you're probably a little too pure for this world.
As things progress, of course, we see this dynamic between Renheng dissipate, shifting his narrative from "crazed pursuer for unknown reasons" to "potentially the victim" of their past scenario, an effect which they achieved through the slow drip feed of Yingxing and Dan Feng's backstories. This, I think, speaks to not only a shift in the devs' intentions for Blade and Dan Heng's relationship (there's more to be said here about the Yingxing-Baiheng-Dan Feng mess that is the cut lore, etc.), but also to a shift in the way the devs wanted Blade to be perceived by fans, from a potentially predatory figure to a much less toxic potential love interest.
Anyway, back to Phaidei: We know that Phainon is headed for a downfall. It's been so obviously foreshadowed at this point that there's really nothing much more to say than that--however, even though he will likely also descend into villainy like Blade, and even though we know he's very likely going to kill Mydei... I don't think that the devs will use Phainon's queer-coding as part of his villainous identity. I don't get any sense that the dev team has any intentions of conflating Phainon's potential homosexuality with depravity, or using it as a motive for his descent into villainy (he might be gay and a villain, but he won't be a villain because he is gay). I definitely don't think we will see the kind of sexually-threatening physicality between Flame Reaver and Mydei that the devs did earlier with Blade and Dan Heng, even if "stabbing someone from behind" does have an inherent sort of sexual symbolism.
I appreciate that even in a story headed for the obvious "stabbed in the back by the villain form of the man I loved," the devs seem like they have moved on from falling into the pitfall (accidentally or intentionally, to sell yandere tropes) of portraying of gay men as predatory.
3. Leave Room for the Trailblazer
In part 1 of this post, I mentioned that Hoyo uses the placements of characters in scenes to indicate closeness, and I already pointed out that Mydei and Phainon stand really... really... close together, much closer than they stand to other characters.
However, it's not just that their models are literally positioned closer together in cutscenes--it's that their body language explicitly closes other characters out. Plenty of Hoyoverse MLM ships are ship-baited by moving the models of the male characters closer together, but very, very few of them are positioned to so consistently exclude even the player.
For comparison, consider the well-known scene where Alhaitham brings the Traveler and Paimon to his and Kaveh's house, which was framed with both domesticity and intimacy:
Although Alhaitham and Kaveh are also prone to the "stand shoulder-to-shoulder" thing that Hoyo does when they want to imply closeness between characters, the framing of their scenes nevertheless leave enough space for the Traveler and Paimon to be active participants in the conversation, enough space between Alhaitham and Kaveh for Traveler to not look blocked out.
For example, despite standing next to each other in that moment above, the camera deliberately cuts Alhaitham out, so that only Kaveh and the Traveler duo occupy the shot. Later on, Alhaitham bridges the divide between the Traveler and Kaveh, turning away from Kaveh toward the Traveler--once again, the conversation and scene are open to the Traveler, and thus, to the player.
Here's a live demonstration of my earlier point: Alhaitham and Kaveh stand closer together than the player and Candace, indicating their closer connection.
Other scenes play out similarly--although Alhaitham and Kaveh are close, their body language doesn't actively exclude other characters or the player from feeling like part of their conversations.
Over in Star Rail, we see the same general situation. We know that Aventurine rarely stands close to other characters, with Ratio being the one relatively consistent exception, but even so, the camera will usually give them some breathing room, making it feel like there's enough space for the player on the other side of the screen to be part of the moment:
Meanwhile Blade excludes both Dan Heng and the player, putting us on equal footing to Dan Heng and giving the impression that the player and Dan Heng are standing against Blade together. There is still room for "us" in this scene.
However, once again, Phaidei proves the exception. Mydei and Phainon don't just stand close--they don't even want to share air with anyone but each other.
A very normal way to have a group conversation. Definitely.
Consistently when standing side-by-side, they turn inward to face each other, rather than facing other characters in the conversation, literally forming a closed unit despite the fact that they're supposed to be in a group scene:
The thirdest third wheel to ever third wheel.
If it wasn't enough for the devs to just imply that the Trailblazer isn't able to break through Mydei and Phainon's circle, they decided to call it out in the text itself, echoing the player's own thoughts: "What about me?"
As I mentioned in the first part of the post, the devs also consistently use specific camera angles to capture both Mydei and Phainon in the frame together, at the same time, further emphasizing the closed nature of their conversations.
You will never see so many over-the-shoulder shots again in your life. You are the outsider looking in!
Perhaps most telling about the devs' intention to create an intimate air for Phainon and Mydei's conversations is that literally everyone else disappears when they speak to each other. For example, Phainon and Mydei's first goodbye takes place in the Garden of Life, which is actually a pretty bustling plaza with numerous NPCs. But every single NPC was deliberately removed by the dev team for Mydei and Phainon's scene there, to allow them a private moment:
Even in their final farewell, where Mydei was seen off by a literal bustling crowd of NPCs, not a single person is visible during their goodbyes--until the exact moment Mydei reminds Phainon that the whole rest of the world is waiting for him. The whole rest of the world didn't even exist for Phainon until Mydei forced him to remember.
It's not just the Trailblazer (and us, the player) who is third wheeling Mydei and Phainon's relationship. They literally exist in a world of their own when they speak to each other. No other modern Hoyoverse ship is on this level of excluding even the player--excluding even the damn NPCs!--to make a point about their closeness.
I thought I was going crazy the first time I was watching these scenes, thinking "It can't be that the devs actually went that far in framing Mydei and Phainon as a pair." But they did. They actually did.
The envelope has been pushed off a mountain, my guys.
But that still wasn't enough for the devs. They needed to go further.
4. Deploy Shoujo Manga Trope #57
I know I just said that Phainon and Mydei's relationship doesn't map well a typical heteronormative male/female relationship, but that doesn't mean the devs gave up on any and all attempts to apply typical romantic cliches to Phaidei. On the contrary, the dev team's thought process seems to have been "Hey, we're doubling-down on our queer-coding for Phainon and Mydei. How can we make it really, really, really obvious they're a ship?" And then they literally spun a roulette wheel of romantic tropes and threw every single one of them at patch 3.1 at the same time.
We have the "romantic lead beautifully framed by red rose petals blood glitter":
The "You used my love to manipulate me" subplot:
Phainon begs for compliments, and Mydei's reaction is to look away demurely and call him a scoundrel?? Am I seeing things?!
This is where he'd be blushing like a tomato if he was a female character.
The "please look after my dear husband when I'm gone" tragedy trope:
THE RING???
"LET'S MEET AGAIN IN THE NEXT LIFE"?!!
What do I even say about all... this...? Do I even need to say anything at all? Has any MLM ship in a recent Hoyoverse game gotten remotely as many romance flags? Alhaitham, where is Kaveh's ring?!
What I actually want to say isn't a specific breakdown of any of these moments, but what they mean in totality. Remember that Hoyo made every one of these choices with deliberate intent. They knew what the picture would add up to. These are explicitly romantic tropes that are extremely difficult to interpret in other lights.
You are supposed to read "If there's a chance in the next life" as "I want to be reincarnated with you; I want to meet you again; I want to be with you in a softer world."
You're supposed to think of the ring as a wedding ring. For one, Gorgo would only have gotten it through her marriage to Eurypon, but even more so--there was no reason this item needed to be a ring in the first place except to evoke images of wedding rings. We already knew from 3.0 that Castrum Kremnos used crests and seals for identification. Why make it a ring and not just the crest of Castrum Kremnos? Furthermore, why involve Phainon at all? The audience would never have known any different if Chartonus just said "Found this I did, have it you should, Mydei." It's a ring and it's a ring deliberately from Phainon because the devs want you to see it as a wedding ring.
What an incredibly bold move on Hoyo's part, and I don't even really mean just in the context of being a Chinese company, but even in the context of being a global company. Hoyo lives and dies by the revenue of their character banners, and choosing to explicitly and (nearly) exclusively apply romantic tropes to their male lead and deuteragonist in a brand-new patch cycle was a legitimately daring choice. Their deliberate application of romantic staples to an MLM ship, in a way that is difficult even for anti-LGBT+ fans to write off, was a very, very calculated decision. I genuinely hope it pays off for them. I hope Mydei and Phainon's banners both sell well, so the devs' receive a clear message in turn that fans appreciated their boldness and their commitment to creating queer content for these two characters.
I'm just going to end on one final note, about a scene that you may have noticed I conveniently skipped. Yes, the most conspicuous scene of them all:
5. A+ Censor Dodging
By some miracle of obliviousness, some Olympic-level mental gymnastics, or by sheer force of will, I think some people might still have made it to this point thinking that Phaidei was not being deliberately baited by the devs. You could maybe, somehow, convince yourself that the blood glitter rose petals and the shoulder-to-shoulder emotional conversations were just coincidences, that the tsundere "I'm not worried about him" was just dudes being tough guys, that the Trailblazer was a third wheel because Phainon and Mydei are "just good friends."
But then devs said "No, we need to be unmistakable. We need to make ourselves 1000% clear. We are baiting the yaoi fangirls, guys; please stop ignoring our hard work."
If going further than they've ever gone with Mydei and Phainon's body language wasn't enough, if Phainon's being willing to kill a god to save his man wasn't enough, if implying a wedding ring wasn't enough, what else could the devs possibly do to remove all plausible deniability and make it undeniably clear that Mydei and Phainon are queer characters (even if it is only for the benefit of yaoi fangirls)?
They can do something they've never done in their recent games before: Imply actual sex between male characters.
(Side note, Hoyo lesbians have had this implied sexual content pass from the beginning. You will always be famous, Beiguang. It's only the male characters that can't even have implied sex. 😂)
Obviously Phainon and Mydei are not having sex in the game. The dialogue even goes out of its way afterward to remind us that they remained fully clothed in that bath, thank you. But the refusal to show what was actually happening--censorship used as a tool to imply--the cut to the black screen, the narration of one animal pursuing another, the discretionary water droplets between the moaning... (And another little edit because @mynabirb made such a good point in the tags: The fact that they chose to "censor" this with a butterfly, the literal symbol of romance in Amphoreus, is almost too much. The devs really did say "Time to silence all doubts.")
From the player's perspective--and examining this as a choice on the dev team's part--there is no way to read this scene other than "sexually suggestive." You're supposed to think "This sounds incredibly sus." Because it is sus. Because the devs added this scene knowing that it would intentionally make people think about the idea of Phainon and Mydei having sex.
Sure, this scene is really funny in context. You're supposed to come out of it laughing, going "Wow, they're idiots." But you will also, whether you like it or not, come out of this thinking "Damn, Hoyo really went all in on the yaoi bait, didn't they?"
You can't "Devs didn't mean it" out of this one.
Which is brave as hell on Hoyo's part, to be honest! Even if this is nothing but queer-baiting, they saw that sick yaoi fan money and decided to go all in on it.
Say it with me: A dev team from a country with notoriously strict rules against depictions of homosexuality in media, from a company with a huge global fanbase including many conservative and religious countries, and with a majority male target audience, went out of their way to undeniably include sexually suggestive gay content in their game.
Whatever their motivation--be it simply money or from a genuine desire to tell gay stories--this wasn't a casual decision. This took commitment. This decision almost certainly went all the way to the top brass of the team for clearance. Someone probably had to fight to get this added.
But they did it, and not with Kaveh and Alhaitham (the previously undisputed kings of current Hoyoverse queer-coding) but with two brand-new (to Star Rail at least) characters who have extremely important roles in the game's on-going narrative--major characters who can't be overlooked.
Phaidei is literally built different.
But I'm still left with one lingering question:
Is Hoyo queer-coding or just queer-baiting?
Even though I played 3.1 in a sort of stupefied haze because I actually couldn't believe what I was seeing in Phainon and Mydei's scenes, I also ended it with a pretty bittersweet feeling.
How amazing that Hoyo pushed the envelope so far with Phaidei... But at what cost?
Did Mydei really have to leave Okhema never to return? Or is he being banished from the plot because his relationship with Phainon was too intense?
Isn't this just the "bury your gays" trope, in essence?
Lore-wise, there isn't any reason Mydei actually has to leave Okhema forever. Sure, he presumably is going to fight the Black Tide where it manifests across Amphoreus, but what about that requires him to "never return"? Demigods aren't geographically bound to the locations their Titans blessed, or Aglaea and Anaxa wouldn't be able to leave the Grove. There shouldn't be any reason Mydei can't visit Okhema when he wants.
The more you think about it, the worse it looks that the dev team implied Phaidei harder than they've ever implied an MLM ship before, only to immediately turn around and go "And then Mydei left forever." As if the only way it's okay to make characters that gay is if you then get rid of at least one of them. (Speaking humorously, at the rate Phainon and Mydei were going, if the devs didn't get rid of Mydei, he and Phainon probably would have been making out on-screen by 3.2, but you know what I mean.)
Sure Phaidei can be the MLM Star Rail ship with the most support in canon--but only at the cost of never being seen together again, apparently.
I'm not sure I like this trade off.
However, I am telling myself to remain cautiously optimistic. We know that Mydei's role in the story is not done, and that he and Phainon are destined for at least one more reunion, even if it won't be a happy one. We've been told that Amphoreus's story will be "heart-warming." I choose to believe that the devs will try to scrabble some sort of positive ending out of all this. At the very least, perhaps we'll end with a "in another life montage," and get to see Phainon and Mydei finally meeting in that library.
So is Hoyo queer-coding from a genuine desire to include gay characters or just baiting hard to sell Mydei to fangirls?
I'd say let's wait and see. Amphoreus has barely started cooking.
In the meantime, I think it is worth examining (and appreciating) Hoyo's willingness to mix up their own patterns, break their own trends, and to try something truly new and different with Phaidei. Even if this is all the content we ever get, Hoyoverse did things they haven't done before in any of their recent games, and showed that they're willing to push the limits for queer content in order to tell the stories they really want to tell.
I am a served fan, Hoyo. Well played, well played.
#honkai star rail#phaidei#mydei#phainon#hoyoverse#queer-coding#oh my god it's finally done#this got away from me so much#I really said “Someone's gonna have to write the essay”#and then that someone ended up being me#there are some other ships mentioned here#haikaveh#renheng#ratiorine#only mentions though#sorry#now... I can sleep...
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Secretly Admiring You Artistically
Summary: How he's expressing that you're in his mind through art
a/n: based on scenes in the comics as civilians





Dick: Doodles
He’s dying. Actively decaying in real-time. Why he brought back the notepad from his day job as an officer home or why Haley pulled it out from his bag and gave it to you, he has no idea. To make matters worse, he’s crouching on the ground with both hands covering his very-much burning face as you stand in front of him silently, flipping through each page that’s filled with doodles of you rather than work notes he should’ve been taking for the cases he’s working on.
It isn’t an exaggeration to say his world revolves around you. He’s not ashamed or has any problem expressing how much of a simp he is for you whether it’s to you or everyone both verbally and physically, 24/7. Seriously, he can’t go a day without getting a kiss from you or telling you how much he loves you, no matter the situation. He’s constantly stuck to your side, always smiling from how you showered him with affection back, spoiling him silly to the point he’s thinking he’s the luckiest man in the world. But artistically? He drew a stick figure once during a game of Scribble. Tim was for sure that it was a basketball hanging on a fishing pole. Bruce had told him he can help him get enrolled for art classes.
“So, did the sarge or corporal see any of this yet?”
“No…,” He manages to wheeze out. He needs the ground to swallow him up right now. He still can’t believe this is how his (poorly and very much terribly drawn) doodles of you are discovered and exposed to you of all people. When he hears the notepad being closed shut, he musters all the strength in his mind and body. “...Can I please have my notepad back now?” He knows the answer. And he knows what’s about to happen next. But maybe today he’ll be lucky he’ll get it back-
“Nope.” The way you pop the “p” at the end of the word - of course you wouldn’t. He doesn’t even need to look at you to know the type of grin you have on your face.
With that, he gets up and yells your name as he gets up to chase after your running form. Sure, he’s dreading what exactly you might do with the doodles but his heart is filled with adoration from how he still managed to give you happiness from them. You are the most lovable person in the world to him - he can’t wait to kiss the ever living lights out of you when he gets you.
Jason: Poetry
Oh. Well. This is embarrassing. He rubs the back of his neck, face completely dyed red. You snuggling your face into the crook of his neck while embracing his biceps is fine. In fact, he loves waking up to see you sleeping peacefully next to him. His heart always swells with affection from how you feel so warm and right in his arms while being reminded how you genuinely enjoyed and appreciate him and his presence. The problem was the book lying open on the coffee table next to him. The book filled with romantic poems that he placed on his face after deciding to take a power nap which ended up as a snooze session.
He had been reading each poem, using a sticky note and red pen (because he’s not a heathen to ruin such beautiful and sacred text) to mark which parts or lines reminded him of you the most. Each sticky note had arrows drawn with whatever note he’d make about you, placed on the long-edge of the pages. It was obvious you had found out the contents of the book before joining him on the sofa as you had done the same, only your sticky notes were sticking out from the shorter-edge.
“Jason… What’s wrong?” He quickly turns his head away, covering the lower half of his face. The fact you aren’t even letting go when you usually would makes things worse, your grip tightening instead of getting loose. He doesn’t turn around to know the expression you’re making, feeling you nuzzle into his side.
“...Are you telling Roy or the others about this?”
“What? Hell no. This is only for you and me- why would I want to share it?”
With that, he topples over you and wraps himself around you like a giant, warm teddy bear. On top of relief, he’s filled with childish glee from getting to share something that’ll only be meant between you and him. It gets a chuckle from him when you laugh at how ticklish he makes you as he snuggles into you, eventually making you two fall asleep in each other’s embrace with smiles on your faces.
Tim: Photography
He’s pacing in circles in his room. Then he’s flopping onto his bed and screaming into his pillow. Pacing in the room. And again, screaming into his pillow. He’s been repeating this exact pattern for ten minutes straight now after finding the photo album on his desk. How Stephanie found out about them or why she showed them to you when you stopped by while he was out, he doesn’t know nor want to know. But he’s pretty sure that he's doomed. Best case scenario is break up. Worst case scenario is you choosing to never see him again because you found him creepy.
But, it’s not his fault, okay? He’s really down bad for you. Even when he’s dating you, he keeps finding himself falling for you deeper and deeper to the point he doesn't want to miss a single moment whenever he’s with you. So, every time the two of you went on dates or plainly hung out, he’d take pictures of you. You standing on a hill during a sunset, looking outside with the window down in his car, laughing in front of a bonfire with a marshmallow on a stick in your hands. He can’t imagine life without you. He needs to be with you even if it’s in a photo.
Finally, he gets back up and dejectedly drags his feet to the desk. Might as well put the album away before more people find out about it. Or so he thought when he suddenly freezes at the sight of a note sitting on top of it. There’s only a single sentence in your hand writing, making him do what it says. Having memorized the order of the photos in each album, he immediately finds a photo of him laughing while sitting on top of the hood of his car. It sits adjacent to a photo of you doing the same, making it look like the two of you were laughing while looking at each other. Heart skipping a beat with tears threatening to spill, he doesn’t look away when he grabs his phone and dials your number.
“So? Are we hanging out tonight?”
“No, we’re doing more than that. We’re going to go all out, my treat.”
The way you chuckle does so many wonders to him. With that, he rushes to get ready. Even if he can’t give you the whole world now, he plans on making tonight the best night of your life since there’s no other way for him to express how much he loves you when words can’t cover half of them.
Duke: Notes
He’s an idiot. That’s what he mentally screams to himself when he drops the pile of handwritten notes right in front of you. Not once had he ever mentioned that he had collected all the notes you wrote to him including the ones back before the two of you even got together. All of them were written as your way to cheer him on, secretly giving them to him in every way you possibly can. It’s as if nothing could stop you from passing him a note, whether it’s during class, passing in the hallways, eating lunch, or slipping them in his school bag. There were even times you managed to place them in his textbooks, right where the assigned reading starts.
All those notes you passed to him, he found solace. He feels that he’s being mentally and emotionally supported unconditionally, no matter the circumstances . You don’t know how he cherishes the smiley faces you draw on them or the words you write. Each and every note he treats like they are a piece of you. It led him to keep a few in his pocket, pulling one and reading it to get the extra boost he needs to get through whatever he’s doing even if it’s homework or patrolling the city.
Now here he was, caught red handed. He’s so nervous and on the verge of a mental breakdown, fearing that you might think he’s strange. Immediately he starts to ramble, spewing every excuse in the book while watching you pick the notes that dropped from his pocket off the ground.
“They were growing into a pile inside my bag, so I was kind of in the middle of-”
“Do they work?”
He stops and blinks at you. What do you mean they work? There’s a light blush coloring your cheeks, your hands gently straightening each note to stop them from wrinkling and getting damaged further.
“Are they making you happy?” Oh. Oh. He pulls you into a strong hug, hoping his actions convey how he feels about you. It’s not the notes that’s making him happy- it’s you and your efforts to make sure he is that makes him the happiest man in the world.
Damian: Sketching
No. Just no. He’s so embarrassed that he can’t muster a single word right now. You were teasing him a minute ago about how he must have sketches of you when he refused to show you his notepad he carries around. Little did you know and much to his horror, you were completely right and that exactly was the reason why he didn’t want to show it to you. In fact, he had been finishing another sketch of you before your so-called attempt to sneak up on him. You being you, you kept probing him into showing his sketches and with him being so flustered, he ended up getting the notepad snatched out of his hand leading to the current situation where both of you are standing with the biggest blush to be seen from mankind.
It’s not two sketches he’s drawn too. There’s a whole comic strip he drew in there featuring one of his favorite moments he had with you on top of all the other sketches, some being portraits, some being a compilation of various expressions you make on a daily basis. The way he’s constantly stuck about you has gotten to where Jon had gotten smug at guessing what he was thinking of when Jon found him suddenly grinning to himself. That day, the two of them got grounded by their parents once Damian started to threaten Superboy by getting kryptonite out and the other shot lasers out of his eyes as self defense.
“They’re so beautiful.” Your muttering snaps him back to reality.
Not wasting a second, he grabs his notepad back. Pride damaged and completely panicked by showing a pathetic side to himself to you, he tries to go somewhere, anywhere, away from you. Only to stop when you grab his wrist.
“Damian, you're absolutely talented.”
He mentally groans. He hates how you’re sincere and genuine in these moments. You don’t know how much he treasures you because of this - being open, honest, and accepting of his every being. Worse is you not being aware or truly choosing your battles - it’s how you are; it’s part of your nature. Accepting his loss, he sits back down. He refuses to admit how affected he is by the way you smile with excitement when you pick up his sign. Letting his shoulder brush against yours, the two of you go through his drawings with you commenting on each one while he snarks back though it’s softer and filled with fondness.
#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#nightwing#damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#duke thomas#duke thomas x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red hood#tim drake x reader#tim drake#dc signal#red robin dc#red robin
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carried away | choi seung-hyun (t.o.p)



・❥・ summary: getting to film a movie with seunghyun is all fine until you have to film a kissing scene ・❥・word count: 1.1k ・❥・warnings: n/a ・❥・ authors note: saw a video of tazza behind the scenes and was inspired 👀

Choi Seung-hyun was one of the most interesting people you had ever met. Not only was he a complete sweetheart but he was one heck of a talented actor. He could switch between himself and the character he was playing almost seamlessly. Not many actors had that kind of talent — some opting to stay in character through the whole shoot to not lose focus but not Seunghyun. When he was in character, he was locked in and when he was out of it, he was the fun, sweet guy that you had come to know over the last couple of months. It amazed you every single day.
When you’d first got the job to star alongside him, the nerves you’d felt were probably the worst you’d ever experienced. He was an icon, part of one of the biggest bands in the world. It was daunting knowing you were going to have to be face to face with one of K-Pops biggest idols. Turns out there had been no reason to worry whatsoever because he was the nicest person you’d ever met. The very first day you’d met on set he’d introduced himself politely, made sure you were comfortable and did everything he could to make it easy for you. It wasn’t your first job. You were pretty well known in the industry but every set was different. All the different actors and crew; sometimes you didn’t know what to expect. So far, this had been your favourite movie to work on. Did most of that have to do with Seunghyun? Absolutely.
Today was the day you had been dreading the most, though. Intimate scenes were always daunting to film but now you had to film one with Seunghyun. Oh, you were so screwed. Over the last few weeks, you had developed a little crush on your co-star. Not a word had been uttered to him but you were fairly sure you weren’t hiding it very well. The giggles at his every joke, the way you’d hang on to his every word, find any reason to be close to him — it was like you were a kid again with your very first crush and didn’t know how to act.
“You ready for this?” Seunghyun asked as the two of you stood waiting for the director to start the scene. He stood there, tie loose around his neck, his white shirt unbuttoned slightly showing off some of his chest. If you weren’t so nervous, you’d definitely be staring right now.
“Yeah,” you nodded, hands flexing at your sides. “I'm a little nervous but I’m ready.”
“I’ve got you, okay? You want to stop at any time just tell me and we will. We don’t even have to do this if you’re not comfortable with it. I’m sure we can think of a way around it,” he reached out to give your arm a reassuring squeeze. Even just a simple touch like that made your heart beat ten times faster so what the hell was going to happen to you the moment his lips met yours?
“It’s okay, I promise. I’m glad it’s with you. I trust you.” A genuine smile adorned your face making Seunghyun smile, too. Was he blushing as well? Surely you were imagining that.
It wasn’t too long after when the director yelled action and it was all hands on deck. Before you could even prepare yourself (which you’d had plenty of time to do if you hadn’t been so nervous), Seunghyun’s hand was on the back of your head and his lips crashed against yours. The second his soft lips began to move, your head turned fuzzy. Your hands fisted in the shirt he was wearing as he backed you up onto the bed. As you laid back, he settled on top of you, his tongue tangling with yours. You knew you were supposed to be acting, that this was your character and not you but it didn’t stop you from getting lost in the way his lips fit so perfectly against yours. Or the way his body slotted between yours like a puzzle piece.
It wasn’t until Seunghyun pulled away — breathless and with red tinted cheeks — that you realised the director had shouted ‘cut’ over five minutes ago. You could feel the flush of your cheeks as the embarrassment coursed through you. Without a single word, you ran off the set to hide in your dressing room. If that wasn’t the most mortifying moment of your life, you didn’t know what was. How could you have gotten so lost that you didn’t realise the scene had ended? How unprofessional.
It was five minutes later when you heard a knock on your door. You barely mumbled a “it’s open” when the handle turned and in walked Seunghyun. You had your head in your hands but as you heard him clear his throat, you looked up. There he stood looking as gorgeous as ever.
“Can I…?” He gestured to the spot next to you on the couch. You nodded your head, resting your hands in your lap. He sat beside you, twisting his body slightly so he could look at you. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m embarrassed and mortified and really wish the ground would swallow me up right now.” The urge to hide your face again was strong but you fought against it. You had to be an adult and own up to what had happened. “I’m so sorry, Seunghyun. That was so unprofessional of me. I…I’m really sorry.”
He shook his head. “No, don’t apologise. I could have stopped it sooner but… uh, I didn’t want to.”
Did you hear him correctly? He didn’t want to stop kissing you?
“…what?” You asked in disbelief.
“Yeah,” he let out a low chuckle, shrugging his shoulders. “I like you. I’ve been trying to figure out how to make a move without it being weird for a couple weeks now but nothing seemed right. But then when I kissed you and you didn’t seem to stop, I couldn’t help myself. If anything it was unprofessional of me.”
“Just a couple of unprofessionals then, huh?” You joked, gently nudging him with your elbow. “I like you too, by the way.”
“I know, you’ve been pretty obvious.”
“Shutup.”
He laughed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and bringing you into his side. “Want to get dinner tonight?”
“Yeah, I’d love to,” you smiled up at him, his eyes catching yours. It was so easy to get lost in him. Everything about him was so perfect.
“For the time being, we have a lot of kissing to do because apparently we were too intense for the scene or something,” Seunghyun jokingly rolled his eyes, holding his hand out for you as he got to his feet. “Let’s get back to work, shall we?”
If work meant you got to keep kissing the handsome man standing in front of you then you were more than happy to get back on set.
taglist (ask to be added!): @ldydeath @infinetlyforgotten
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✳︎ 𝟶𝟷 𝙰𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙾𝙶𝚈 𝙾𝙱𝚂𝙴𝚁𝚅𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂 : 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎!


✦ note: this is my first ever astrology blog post. I'm so excited to see where this goes!
𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙹𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛:
having this placement is truly a blessing. Usually, this placement (if not within a tighter orb) tends to develop later in life. Or tends to be something deep and unconscious that isn’t unlocked until you do deep introspection on the self.
The tendency to bounce back through whatever situation and try and see the brighter side in things really helps. Tendency to be “too” optimistic at times. With this placement, make sure to think before speaking regarding certain situations. Sometimes, people don’t want to see the light at the end of the tunnel immediately.
Naturally artistically inclined, very polite people to a fault. Tends to have a type of elegancy and refinement to their artwork. Or if not, their artwork gives the viewer deep introspection. Truly a great aspect to have in the natal chart!!
𝙰𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗:
GAGGELERS!! Very giggly, and have a face that replicates the Sun. Ex: Kamala Harris!
Very full face with a wonderful smile. Great friends to have, and I have a special place in my heart for these people. Genuinely, whenever they smile, I just get so soft like… the world is so cruel to my Aries moon babies PLEASE KEEP SMILING!!
Compared to an Aries Mars, these people tend to be more snappy/easily irritated and easier to handle regarding anger imo. Usually, the type of people to laugh off their frustration/anger with friends.
Ambiverts that lean more towards being introverted. The type to go completely non-verbal and then just giggle out of nowhere. Ex: Mort from Madagascar
They DONT play about their loved ones and will vouch for them no matter the situation. They can either be loud and wrong or loud and right!
It’s so sad to me because these people usually have so much warmth and light inside of them. But that light tends to be dim or completely put out due to mental issues/family behavior.
I LOVE ARIES MOONS!!
𝙼𝚞𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝙼𝚘𝚘𝚗𝚜:
GET UP! Get up right now and get off of TikTok and whatever you use to doom scroll, and do what the hell you need to do. If it weren’t for my low attention span, I’d probably be Albert Einstein right about now. Procrastination WARRIORS!
Read, write, learn, and speak! These things truly help you out in the long run. For the mind, body, and spirit.
I will speak to you until you fall asleep, and I will stay up several hours later whilst everyone else is asleep. I believe people who have mutable moons (specifically speaking for a Gemini moon), have the love of staying up till the dawn of time. Sometimes, their minds are so busy from whatever they need to accomplish in the day, that their only time of solace and relaxation can be in the night.
It’ll be to the point where they want to stay up but yearn to fall asleep. But they wanna catch up on a book/music/social media that they potentially missed out on. I get it, and I see you, but please. Lay tf down, create a routine, and seize the day!
𝙻𝚒𝚋𝚛𝚊 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚜:
people pleasers to a fault. But once they’ve jumped over that hurdle, they can be a beast. They don’t play about their boundaries nor their mental health. Can tend to be selfish, tho.
Speaking of people-pleasing, these people love giving out compliments! I believe they have a telepathic chip in their brain that lets them notice people's emotions, and they wanna help brighten their day! There’s an integral pleasure they get from making people's day better.
The type of waiter/waitress to get HELLA tips/ a star performer within the arts or things regarding community.
𝙼𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚢 𝚂𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚄𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚞𝚜:
very, very, very sleepy people. They can sleep anywhere, anytime, in any weather. They could sleep on top of a cement truck in the middle of Times Square with EASE and poise. Very forgetful individuals, and they genuinely can’t help it. Their minds are always somewhere… else. When they’re not sleeping on I-97, they are UP, energetic, and ready to go.
If they don’t have any strong mercury placements/well-aspected planets in mercurial houses. They can come off as a ditz, dumb blonde- you get it. Even if they do, they may seem dumb, but are incredibly smart and will use that to their advantage.
They are the grandparent of the friend group, literally. If they’re not sleeping, they aren’t the type of people to not be enveloped in social media that much, so they tend to be out of the loop on major pop culture trends/slang. And you’ll have to keep them up to speed like you’re teaching your meemaw how to start the microwave. Very sleepy/dream-like faces and very soft smiles that can make you melt <3 Love them, tho!
𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚁𝚒𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜:
I'm sorry not to be rude, but you guys do not listen to a single thing anyone says lol. It's like you're in your own mini world at times, and it can be frustrating/upsetting when someone is trying to tell you something that you genuinely don't seem to care at all. You're aware of it, and you don't care to change, but if someone does it to you, you'll throw a fit, make it make sense :/
On a lighter note! Very, very funny people who have an adaptable sense of humor and are very easy conversationalists, which is something I really enjoy. These people, if having any other mercurial placements can talk for hours! Until they zone out completely and fall asleep, lmao.

✦ arouravis
#𝚊𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚜#astrology#astrology observations#astro community#astrology blog#libra mars#leo rising#gemini#Virgo#aries#aries moon
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Delusional anon here!!
Could you perhaps write one on Ena (DBBQ) x touched starved reader?
Thank you so much and I LOVE your writing!!
Author’s Note
Thank you kindly, dear Anon. Hopefully this meets your expectations.
-COMET
•☽────✧˖°˖ BEAUTIFUL RUIN˖°˖✧────☾•
★ Summary: A Compilation of Headcanons Featuring Salesperson Ena X A Touched Starved Reader
★ Character(s): Salesperson Ena (Ena: Dream BBQ)
★ Genre: Headcanons, SFW
★ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!
★ Image Credits: @JoelG
☆ Ena notices how you flinch at accidental touches, how your shoulders tense when someone brushes past. Her Salesperson side is intrigued, fingers twitching to grab your wrist, while her Meanie side scoffs—“What, never been touched before?” But the moment you don’t recoil, just stare at her with wide, uncertain eyes, she goes silent.
☆ “We’ve got an incredible deal today! A limited-time offer just for you—one (1) premium-quality hug, at zero cost! Act now, supplies are infinite!” Her red side grins, wiggling clawed fingers like she’s about to grab you. Meanwhile, if you don’t take the hug immediately, her Meanie side grumbles, “Just take the damn hug already.”
☆ Ena is a living contradiction, her two halves shifting between smooth and jagged, warm and cold. When she finally touches you—whether through a handshake, a playful jab, or a genuine embrace—it feels electric. Your skin prickles, the sensation lingering long after she lets go. Ena watches you, fascinated. “You really are starving for this, huh?”
☆ The moment she realizes you like her touch, Ena becomes unbearable. “Congratulations! You’ve won a subscription to Unlimited Ena Contact! Payment is due in the form of unwavering attention and maybe a snack.” She has has no concept of personal space, draping herself over your shoulders like a living scarf.
☆ Her Meanie side refuses to sugarcoat things. “You act like touch is some rare, forbidden treasure. It’s not. People touch each other all the time. Why are you like this?” But when you look away, embarrassed, she sighs and mutters, “Fine. Come here. But tell anyone I did this and I’ll throw you into the ocean.”
☆ Ena starts treating physical affection like a high-stakes negotiation. “You need this, correct? I am willing to provide a solution. But first, let’s discuss the terms—would you prefer a pat on the head, a side hug, or the deluxe experience: the Full Ena Wraparound™?”
☆ Her Salesperson side is all firm, enthusiastic grips and playful nudges, while her Meaie side is cautious, stiff, but deeply aware of the weight of every interaction. Together, they balance each other, a messy but genuine attempt at giving you what you need.
☆ When you’re having a bad day, Ena doesn’t ask what’s wrong. She just sits next to you, her shoulder bumping against yours, letting you soak in her presence. If you lean into her, she’ll go still for a moment before wrapping her arms around you, murmuring, “It’s fine. It’s just business. No refunds, no takebacks.”
☆ Ena doesn’t get your hesitance at first, but over time, she starts recognizing the small tells—the way you hesitate before reaching out, the way your fingers curl like you’re trying to hold onto something intangible. She stops making a show of it. No more deals, no more business talk. She just holds out her hand, waiting.
☆ One day, you initiate it. A casual touch. A hand on her arm. Ena freezes, like a machine thrown into an error loop. “What. The. Hell.” But then, suddenly, she’s ecstatic—“Unexpected move! I love it!”
#imagine blog#imagine#writers on tumblr#ask blog#headcanon#asks open#ask box open#anon ask#thanks anon!#ena#ena fandom#ena x reader#ena game#ena dream bbq#joel g ena#ena joel g#ena fanart#joel g#dream bbq#imagines#headcanons#webcore#weirdcore#dreamcore#writeblr#writeblogging#writerblr#writing tumblr#writing community#writer community
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omg I LOVE your writings, its my first time ever requesting one, hope u can write it (if u dont like it i would completely understand)
i was thinking about some lando thing, where his girlfriend is reading some spicy book and he accidentally reads some lines and the room gets hot lol, and when everything its done he is just the fluffiest boyfriend of the world
hope u are doing good🩵
By the book | LN⁴

💌 REQUESTED by anon ──── I genuinely had so much fun with this one, thank you so much for the request. Hopefully this is a nice first experience 😉🤍
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
𐙚 summary ──── When boredom leads him to a new world, intense and full of possibilities, Lando wants to prove to his girlfriend that despite the perfect moments in her erotic books, the real deal is still better than fiction.
𐙚 pairing ──── Lando Norris x she/her reader
𐙚 rating ──── explicit
𐙚 category ──── F/M
𐙚 warnings ──── 18+, mature/sexual content, established relationship, fluff & smut, descriptive language, fingering & oral ─ (f)receiving, unprotected sex, swearing, edging, teasing, roleplay elements, Max F. cameo.
𐙚 word count ──── 3.7k
𐙚 date ──── Dec. 19, 2024
𐙚 a/n ──── Guys! I’ve got a couple more one-shots coming your way before the year wraps up, and I just wanted to thank you all so much for your patience and support. It means the world to me 🤍
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌
THE FAINT GLOW from Lando’s monitors is the only light in the room, casting faint shadows over his side of the bed. It’s pretty late — later than it probably should be for him to start a streaming session — but Max insisted, and Lando figured it was either this or mindlessly scrolling through his infinite feed until falling asleep. His headset lies next to his keyboard, untouched, as he waits for his best friend to finish whatever pre-stream rituals he’s currently busy with.
From the en suite bathroom, the sound of running water echoes like ambient noise, muffled by the walls yet delicate, while his girlfriend showers. He glances at the door, thinking about how she had kissed him on the forehead just a few minutes ago, hair piled on top of her head in that messy bun he secretly loves. She had told him to have fun streaming, flashing him a sweet smile that made him wish she weren’t about to leave him alone to his boredom.
Lando sighs, spinning slightly in his chair, his gaze randomly falling to the nightstand on her side of the bed. A stack of books rests there unbothered, as it always does, each spine a different color. She goes through them so quickly that he can never keep up with what she’s reading now versus what she finished last week, that's why, normally, he doesn’t pay them much attention. But tonight, in the thick silence, with Max still not ready and the hum of the bathroom as his only company, he reaches for the book at the top of the stack.
The cover is intricate and inviting — soft, watercolor-like strokes of flowers in muted tones frame a bold, serif title. There’s no hint of what it’s about, and when he flips it over, the description on the back isn’t much help, either.
“Vague as hell,” he mutters under his breath after reading it.
He flips the book open, thumbing through the pages, noticing that she's halfway through it, with a scattering of sticky tabs peeking out from various places. A glance at the pages confirms his girlfriend’s habit of underlining sentences and jotting tiny notes in the margins. He smirks to himself, picturing her curled up on the couch, pen in hand, diligently marking her favorite parts, as she always does.
He stops at one of the tabs — a pink one — curiosity getting the best of him. The text beneath is neatly underlined, with a couple of notes scribbled faintly in the margin. His eyes skim over the words, and then he freezes, blinking at what he’s just read.
His hands roamed my bare skin with a deliberate slowness, mapping every curve, every dip. I gasped when his fingers dipped lower, teasing just enough to make me squirm beneath him. “Patience, my love,” he murmured against my neck, his voice rough with desire. “I'll give you what you need.”
Lando’s mouth goes dry, while his eyebrows shoot higher on his forehead. His fingers tighten slightly on the book as his eyes dart to the highlighted lines. She’s underlined “I'll give you what you need” and scrawled something next to it — he squints to make it out.
‘OMG. The tension here is insane,’ it reads, followed by ‘On. My. Knees’.
His pulse quickens, and he feels a flicker of heat low in his stomach.
Suddenly, Lando realizes how intimate it is to rummage through her annotations, as they are pure, unfiltered emotions, evoked by scenes that obviously awakened something in her when she read them, and now he feels way too guilty to continue.
But not enough to stop.
He flips ahead, stopping at another pink tab, as if he's on autopilot, guided by sheer curiosity alone.
My legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, until there was no space left between us. His mouth was everywhere — on my lips, my collarbone, the sensitive skin of my nipples. I trembled as he kissed his way lower, his tongue leaving a trail of fire in its wake. I moaned his name, breathless, as he looked up at me with a smirk that promised more.
Lando swallows hard. He shifts in his chair, hyperaware of the heat creeping up his neck. He tells himself to stop, to close the book and put it back, but he can’t seem to help himself.
“You liked that, don’t you?” he asked in a whispered tone. I whimpered in response, my nails digging into his shoulders as my body arched into his touch. “You did, my good girl,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down my spine. “Keep being good, and you'll get to cu—”
He sucks in a sharp breath, snapping the book closed. His mind betrays him, conjuring images of her beneath him, her breath hitching the way it does when he teases her, her hands clutching at him as she whispers his name in pleasure.
His jaw clenches, and he drags a hand through his hair, all too aware of the way the air has changed inside the room. Luckily, the vibration of his phone on the desk jolts him back to reality. He startles, nearly dropping the book in his lap.
Scrambling to grab his phone, he sees a text from Max:

“Shit,” Lando mutters under his breath.
He rushes to put the book back where he found it, his movements momentarily clumsy. He’s acutely aware of the way his body feels now — tense, restless, hot — as he makes himself more comfortable in his chair, tugging his headset over his ears.
The monitor flickers to life as Max joins the call, his voice loud and cheery in Lando’s ear. “Finally, mate! Thought you fell asleep or something.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Lando replies, his voice a little strained. “Let’s just get started.”
By the time she's done with showering and coming out of the bathroom dressed in one of his oversized t-shirts and towel-drying her hair, Lando is fully immersed in his racing game. She pauses in the doorway, watching him for a moment with a small smile on her face, and he catches her eye briefly, following her as she crosses the room, the t-shirt swallowing her frame entirely. He gives her a quick nod before returning his focus to the screens, while she climbs onto the bed and grabs the book from her nightstand, settling in against the pillows to read.
At that, Lando finds himself smirking.
It’s hard not to, knowing what’s tucked between those pages now. His fingers twitch on the steering wheel, but he keeps driving, throwing himself into the rave to avoid getting distracted.
“Mate, you’re lagging behind,” Max calls out through the headset, breaking Lando’s focus.
“Yeah, mate. Don't worry, I’m here,” he replies, steering his car to catch up.
Time passes in a blur of laughter, strategy, and the occasional curse as he and Max trade wins and losses. At some point, she gets up from the bed, her book left open and facedown on the comforter. Lando watches out of the corner of his eye as she pads over to him, stopping just out of frame.
“Want some tea?” she asks quietly, her voice careful not to interrupt his live stream.
Lando glances up at her briefly, his lips curling into a small smile. His hand leaves the steering wheel, trailing to the back of her thigh, his fingers traveling up slowly, squeezing the soft curve of her ass.
“Yeah,” he whispers, the word leaving him on a smirk.
Her breath catches in her throat at his touch, and she shoots him a pointed look, though the pink dusting her cheeks betrays her.
She swats his hand away lightly, protesting quietly, “Behave,” before disappearing into the kitchen.
TWO HOURS LATER, the game session finally winds down. Lando thanks the chat, throws a parting joke at Max, and shuts down his stream with a satisfied sigh. He swivels in his chair to find his girlfriend still awake, her book now resting on her stomach while she scrolls idly on her phone.
She glances at him and smiles kindly, watching as he heads to the bathroom, but when he gets back a few minutes later, he’s wearing nothing but a fresh pair of boxers and a wide smile. His skin glows faintly from the shower, and water droplets cling to the sharp angles of his collarbone.
Lando approaches the bed slowly, his gaze fixed on her. She looks up from her phone as he slides in beside her, his presence warm and familiar. Without a word, he takes the book from her stomach, his fingers brushing hers lightly as he closes it and sets it back on the nightstand. Then, he leans down, brushing his lips over hers in a kiss that’s soft but full of intent — definitely not the kind that he uses to send her to sleep. Quite the opposite. It makes her hum against his lips, her hand coming up to rest lightly on his chest as she kisses him back.
“You’re still wet,” she notices, pushing Lando lightly to look at him.
When he pulls away, his voice drops, small but teasing. “We can both be,” says Lando.
She scoffs, rolling her eyes, “Yeah, not tonight, buddy. You took too long, and I’m sleepy from all the reading.”
“Come on, just wrap your legs around my waist, and pull me closer, until there is no space left between us,” he murmurs the words deliberately.
For a second, her heart skips a beat, her eyes widening slightly as she registers his sentence. Blood rushes to her cheeks and beyond, her pulse quickening.
“What?” she asks, giving him a puzzled look.
Lando’s smirk deepens. He leans closer, letting his breath fan over her ear as he continues, his tone overly suggestive. “What? You don’t want my mouth everywhere? On your lips, your collarbone, the sensitive skin of your nipples?”
Her breath hitches, and her lips part in surprise. Her mind starts spinning as the words he’s quoting — the ones she underlined so carefully in her book — fall from his mouth.
“Lando,” she says cautiously, her voice shaky.
“Hm?” he asks innocently, his fingers ghosting over her hip beneath the t-shirt. “I hope it's okay, I’m just trying to remember what you liked so much. What else was there? Something about… good girls?”
She swats at his chest, but there’s no real force behind it. “You’ve been reading my stuff!”
His laughter is quiet, but there’s heat in his gaze as he leans down to kiss her again, this time deeper, as if he has a purpose.
When Lando pulls back just enough to catch her gaze, his eyes are glinting with mischief. His hand trails up her side, his thumb slowly brushing the soft curve of her waist through the thin fabric of his t-shirt.
“And? What’s that about, baby?” he asks. “Don't you want to be my good girl?”
She lets out a soft laugh, a mix of flustered and amused, and presses a hand to his chest. “For the record, you’re not allowed to touch my books anymore,” she says, trying to sound stern but failing miserably when her cheeks flush under his intense gaze.
“Oh, I don’t know,” he drawls, leaning closer, his lips brushing her skin. “I think I learned a lot. Like how you’re into being told what to do, and being touched like this,” he continues, tracing the pads of his fingers up and down her body.
“Lando,” she protests, but her voice wavers, her breath hitching when his teeth graze the sensitive spot just beneath her earlobe.
“You marked all the good bits for me,” he says, his mouth trailing along her neck, placing soft, lingering kisses there. “Made it so easy, really.”
She shakes her head, trying to maintain her composure, but the warmth of his lips and the purposeful way his hands roam her body make it impossible. “You’re being ridiculous,” she whispers.
“And you’re so cute when you’re blushing,” he counters, his lips hovering just above hers. His tone shifts, teasing, giving way to something more profound. “Just know that if you ever want to recreate something from your books... all you need to do is ask, yes?”
Her breath catches as Lando’s fingers find the hem of her t-shirt and tug it upward. She lifts her arms without hesitation, letting him pull it over her head and toss it aside.
“And if you can't tell me, just underline the scenes,” he continues, smirking down at her. “I'll figure it out.”
“Lando…” her voice is much softer now, her eyes searching his, but he silences her with another kiss. Slow and lazy, his tongue dancing with hers on a rhythm only they know.
His hands move over her bare skin, stopping on her waist, then continuing until one of them curls around her neck, “My good girl,” whispers Lando against her lips, echoing the words from her book. “What should I do with you?”
She laughs softly, but it turns into a gasp as his lips leave hers, trailing down over her collarbone, while he squeezes lightly at her neck. He pauses to nip at the delicate dip at the base of her throat, his tongue flicking out to taste her skin. She smells like her vanilla body lotion, a faint scent that drives him wild.
“You don’t—” she tries to say something, but his mouth moves lower, and her words dissolve into a soft moan as he presses kisses across the swell of her breast, moving his hand on top of it to squeeze the flesh there.
“Relax, baby,” he says, looking up at her briefly, his expression a mix between adoration and pure need. “Just let me play by the book, yeah?”
Her cheeks burn at the intensity in his gaze, but she doesn’t look away. Her hands find his shoulders, holding onto him as his kisses travel lower, across her stomach, his tongue darting out to trace wet patterns against her skin.
When he reaches the waistband of her shorts, he glances up again, his fingers toying with the elastic. “Can I?” he asks softly, his voice full of want.
She nods, her breath shaky, and lifts her hips to help him slide them down her legs.
Lando kisses along her inner thighs, taking his time, savoring the way her body reacts to every little, torturous touch. She’s already trembling under him, anticipation coiling in her stomach as he hooks his arms around her thighs, spreading her legs wider.
“So ready for me, hm?” asks Lando, reaching for a pillow, and sliding it beneath the small of her back, adjusting her gently until she’s perfectly positioned for him. “Every time I open your pretty legs, fucking hell.”
She nods, chewing on her lower lip as she feels his hot breath falling over her skin. The first swipe of his tongue along her slit has her gasping, her head falling back on the mattress, unable to keep her eyes on him. Lando groans, the sound reverberating through her, his movements teasing, as always.
Her hands find his hair, threading through the damp strands as she arches toward him, desperately wanting to feel the heat of his tongue on her.
He looks up, his lips glistening while smirking. “Better than your book so far?”
“Mhm,” she breathes, her voice catching as he dips lower, his tongue working in a rhythm that has her eyes rolling.
He breathes heavily as he runs his tongue over her clit, teasing her hole with the tip. It's too much for her, yet still not enough to make her body shudder, but only ache for more instead. Luckily, Lando doesn’t stop, his hands gripping her hips to hold her in place as he gives himself entirely to her, the soft sounds she makes driving him on.
Patiently, he brings his fingers between her folds, opening her even more, little by little. When he pushes in the second finger, she moans his name again, which encourages him to curl them inside her, feeling her pussy tighten around him, the sound alone making him so painfully hard.
Lando’s mouth doesn’t leave her for a long while, drawing every gasp, every shudder from her as if it’s his life’s purpose. His tongue flicks, teases, and presses, his movements confident and practiced but still reverent, like he’s savoring her in a way words could never describe.
She’s close, and Lando knows it from the way her thighs tighten around his shoulders, and the way her fingers tug at his hair, grounding herself as the pleasure builds higher and higher. It makes him hum against her wetness, the muffled sound forcing a loud gasp out of her. But right when she approaches the edge, his mouth pulls away, leaving her breathless and shaking.
“Why did you—Lando!” she starts to protest, but her words are cut off when he moves up her body, kissing a heated trail along her stomach, her breasts, and up her neck.
“Patience, baby,” he whispers, the word heavy with intent. “Isn’t that what your book said?”
She squeezes her eyes shut, her breath hitching as she remembers the very scene he’s playing out now. “I couldn’t care less about my book right now, Lando.”
He smirks, his hand sliding between her legs to tease her hole again, his fingers brushing over her sensitive heat with a featherlight touch. “Tell me what you want, then. I want to hear you say it.”
Her heart pounds, her mind is spinning, and the tears are so close from slipping out of her eyes. He's still quoting her stupid book, when he should be fucking her into oblivion instead. Even though now those words feel entirely different coming from his mouth, spoken in that low, rough voice that sends shivers down her spine, only makes her cry in protest when his fingers keep playing with her clit. The pressure he applies is measured enough to just keep her on the edge, but never pushing her over it.
“I want you,” she breathes, her voice barely above a whisper. “Need you, please.”
“And if I ask you, pretty please, to say it again, will you?” his soft voice forces another moan to slip from her lips, his fingers dipping into her pussy, slow and teasing, feeling her walls constricting around them.
She nods, swallowing hard, “You,” she repeats, louder this time, her hips rolling against his hand. “I want you.”
Lando hums in approval, his lips curling into a satisfied smile as he leans down to kiss her, his fingers moving with more intent now. “So good for me, aren't you?” he asks against her lips, and the words make her whimper, heat pooling in her belly.
It doesn’t take long for him to position himself between her thighs, his body fitting against hers like they were made for each other. Unfortunately, he takes his time, teasing her with his length, dragging himself over her wetness, his eyes never leaving hers.
“So good and needy, is that why you read those books?” he asks, mostly curious than anything. “You need something to keep you stimulated all the time? Because if that's the case, we can—”
“Please, Lando,” she begs, her hands gripping his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin, while breathing heavily.
He chuckles, satisfied, “I've got you, baby, you know I do.”
His restraint snaps at her plea, and he pushes into her hard yet measured, his gaze locked on hers as he fills her inch by inch. Her head falls back, a broken moan spilling from her lips as he bottoms out, his hips flush against hers.
“Fuck, you wrap around me so good,” he mutters, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. He waits for her to adjust, his hands running soothingly over her thighs, her waist, and her breasts.
“Move,” she whimpers, her voice breathless as she drags her nails over his back.
He obeys, his hips rolling in a steady rhythm that has her arching beneath him, her body responding to his every thrust. He leans down, his lips capturing hers in a kiss that’s as much about love as it is about hunger — a desperate desire to show her that he can be whatever she needs him to be.
“You’re fucking perfect,” he breathes against her mouth. “Every inch of you.”
Her body rises to meet his with every thrust, their movements fluid and desperate as the tension coils tighter and tighter. His name falls from her lips like a prayer, and he drinks it in, his mouth finding the sensitive spot on her neck once again.
“Lan…” she cries out, her legs wrapping around his waist to pull him even deeper inside her.
“Yes, baby. Wanna hear you,” he continues, his hand slipping between them to find the bundle of nerves that has her crying out again, her body trembling beneath him as his thumb circles around her clit. “Let go for me, come on.”
She shatters beneath him, her release washing over her in waves as she clings to him, her nails raking down his back. He follows moments later, her name a rough groan on his lips as he spills into her, his body shaking with the force of it.
This will always be better than anything, she realizes — better than any fantasy, any scenario, and any book. Just them, sharing each other in every possible way, then taking their time to come down. Together.
Their bodies are still tangled when Lando asks, “So? Was it better?” his voice is rough, but playful as he brushes a strand of hair from her face.
She laughs, her cheeks flushed, and pulls him down for one more kiss; of course he knew what she was thinking about.
“I think it might’ve been,” she teases.
“Oh? Might’ve?” Lando scoffs, his grin widening. “Guess we’ll just have to try again and make sure, then.”
PREVIOUS LN⁴ ONE-SHOT
MASTERLIST
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© trashy track tales, 2024
#lando norris x reader#lando norris smut#ln4 x reader#ln4 smut#lando norris imagine#lando x reader#lando norris#lando norris fanfic#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln4#ln4 x y/n#f1 fic#f1blr#x reader#smut#f1 smut#writers of tumblr#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#fan fiction#trashy track tales#requested#fluff#teasing#f1 one shot#f1 imagine#one shot#ln4 one shot#lando norris one shot
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I NEED MORE BRIAN MOSER AHHHH
Brian Moser, with a lover that's "too sweet"
male leaning reader, brian is a freak, being nervous more than shy, arguments, accidental guilt tripping, manipulation(at first), reader gives off innocence but they're not they're just a virgin, fake names, being overly touchy, blow jobs
note: had an idea so i just used this ask as an excuse to finally post it. also if you notice typos no you don't im not fixing them



— You were his first actual relationship in which didn't involve murder or trying to get closer to Dexter. Or so he remembers, he probably had that intention at first yet completely forgot about it due to his own feelings.
— Meeting you felt like a bunch of perfumes and flowers were thrown at his face— you were smiling and speaking with him like he was your long lost friend or your boyfriend, like you knew him since forever.
"Oh! Rudy!" He instantly felt his heart speed up, feeling more nervous than he's ever been in his entire life and you weren't even calling out his real name. He needs to calm down, seriously he's sweating way too much.
"I missed you so much, how have you been?" He felt your arms wrap around him tightly, yet ater the hug your hands took his and held them as if they were the most delicate things in the world, besides you.
The man could barely get his words out, stuttering every now and then and looking away from you often. Your thumb was swiping softly over the top of his knuckles, why were you looking at him like that.
— Getting with you was the most romantic thing he has ever thought of. Taking you out to a place where it was peaceful yet beautiful, and he could confess to you and actually mean it.
— It was the best place he could find, it was hot but lovely. When he confessed, you stayed quiet for far too long and he thought you didn't want him. You were just in so much shock, it's been a bit since someone was this genuine to you.
— Floating on air is what he felt like each time he was with you. When you were able to visit his work, you showed him with kisses each and every single time even after arguments which was something he would have a heavy weight on his shoulders about.
"Debra doesn't at all have a thing for me, what the hell are you talking about!" You were blinking back heavy tears trying to see his side as best as you could, yet everything just went a bit too far. From understanding to a plain bicker.
"It's obvious she does, and she's in your office more than I am!" He rolled his eyes, his fingers on his nose and pinching the bridge. He knew Debra had a thing for him, but what he didn't know was why he lied seeing you fight for him like this. He liked seeing you get jealous.
"Because it's her job." Yet you protested, "I understand that but.." you couldn't get the rest out, starting to cry and you instantly felt embarrassed. "Sorry— shit, I'm sorry.." His upset look rested, sighing as he went closer to you for an embrace.
"No, it's my fault." He admitted, his arms squeezing your frame in a comforting manner as you cried into his chest.
He was so turned on right now.
— Brian had a bunch in which you were a virgin, he just would have never guess he was actually right about it.
— All he wanted was a small make out for a bit, yet it had escalated and you were on your knees. God, you looked so pretty.
"Ah, ah, your teeth.. Good..that's it." He leaned his head back, the warmth of your mouth and tongue working at his girth. For your first time even giving head you were real good at following his directions. You did it just how he liked it. Tongue swirling, spit mixing with what leaked from him, it was heaven.
He jutted his hips forward a bit, catching you by surprise and giving you the urge to wanna pull back, which didn't happen due to Brian's fingers tangling in your hair— and pushing your head back forward. "Doing so well, fuck.." you practically weren't evenoving anymore, and if you were you had just been going ragdoll and moving along with Brian's pulls.
His dick twitched in your mouth as he heard a gargled moan, fuck he was gonna cum just from hearing that alone. Then he'd hear you whine, almost impatiently. "Hush you're fine, just keep on— God, yes.." eyes rolling back, feeling your nose poke at his pelvis the deeper he pushed you down when he came. Letting go of your hair, he let your head fall back a bit before he forced your mouth closed.
"Swallow."
— Sooner or later he would then wonder why you were a virgin in the first place, yet you did date people for long periods of time.
"I don't know, when I asked after break up they said they just couldn't."
— He got the hint for himself.
#bottom male reader#dexter x male reader#dexter x reader#male reader#bottom reader#brian moser#brian moser x male reader#brian moser x reader#brian moser x you#dexter
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6x11: when a reductive gay joke plotline is still queer-coded (or more metatextual queerness in house md)
in its later seasons, house md keeps doing this really funny thing where they play into house and wilson with increasingly low-hanging fruit gay jokes (dw i still laugh lol). but they manage this without sacrificing the 6 seasons' worth of cultivated subtext that permits genuine queer coding above queerbait/2000s gay jokes/etc. 6x11 is one of the best examples of this so far.
so i'm not a musical junkie, and i'm sure this has already been written about to hell and back, but 6x11 prompted me to look more into the song that wilson was singing at the end of the episode.

"one" from the musical a chorus line (also the poster house bought):
"One singular sensation Every little step she takes One thrilling combination Every move that she makes One smile and suddenly nobody else will do You know you'll never be lonely with you-know-who!"
according to genius lyrics, "Despite the lyrics which praise a singular star, the star at whom it’s directed is never shown. The “One” is absent...The star is not even named – only referred to as ‘she’ or ‘You Know Who.’"
there is a "one" in 6x11 - nora, whom both house and wilson stake their claims for dating (which is exceptionally gross & misogynistic of them). but the song/musical choice implies that she was never important enough to be The One in question.

this frame seems self-aware of the potential absence of "The One." the shot gives the impression of symmetry, but it's very uneven. house is reclined back, warping the straight line of the couch, and the boxes on wilson's side are neat and tidied, whereas those on house's side are sparse and thrown about. more importantly, there's that arm rest between house and wilson's seats. if The One (nora) was to sit anywhere, this frame seems to imply that it would be there.
thus, this frame isn't straight.
house seems to be aware of this pseudo-absence, as well. he looks at wilson with a thoughtful, revelatory look on his face:

superficially, he's probably just astounded that wilson is singing the song from a musical he hates so much, but he lets the song continue, nonetheless. here, the episode remembers the genre of the song that wilson is singing - a showtune! and what happens in showtunes/musicals? the singers are spot-lit! the audience watches them perform!

here i'm gonna posit that wilson is a (non-self aware) paul, a chorus line's man character whose revelation that he's gay is both tragic but also drives the plot. house can see this. meta-textually, we see this THROUGH house seeing this.
taken together, this scene's asymmetry, implied spotlight, and awkward arm rest divide offer wilson as the performer in this musical-adjacent exchange, with house as the in-text audience, and us, the real audience, as the outer-textual audience. what a long winded way of saying that wilson is performing comphet here!
and there's another note i want to make on the subject of performance/performativity...
this is from the golden globes official article, "'A Chorus Line' Brought Visibility to Queer Stories in the 70s and 80s'":
"The audience gets to see [Paul, the main character's] valor, which may be an inspiration to those in the audience who face similar challenges."
wilson's proposal to house is complete performance. the entire precedent for the scene is just gay joke after gay joke and wilson's anxiety that this false impression of him will negatively impact his dating life.

when he makes this performance of homosexuality, he's lauded for it. the restaurant urges house to say yes, and everybody claps even before house has given an answer.
also from the article: " The character of Paul delivers a touching monologue about how performing revealed his identity as a gay man."
6x11 inverts this dynamic. the performance in question is that of homosexuality, and wilson is not rewarded for it in the end. he loses The One, as does house, and they go home and watch a hockey game together in yet another intricate ritual (as stated above).
i also think there's something to be said about house enlisting nora's help in bringing the poster for a chorus line up to his apartment.

i'm genuinely hesitant to applaud this show - or any show, really - for subtextual intentionality like this. i have a hard time believing that there was, long ago, a time where tv didn't just capitalize off fandom's tendency to pair up its characters in our internet fanbase/fanfiction age but deliberately queer-coded things. but even silly episodes like this one remind me of that one robert sean leonard quote about house and wilson, that they are the only relationship in the show based completely on choice - the choice to always come back to each other.
all that is to say that i sincerely think these 2 are written in a subversion of gender norms and binary platonic/romantic relationships. for 2000s tv, that's just like lightning in a bottle.
oh and apparently there's a gay character named greg in the musical, too. someone who's more qualified to talk about a chorus line should hijack this post. what the hell are we doing, david shore.
#long post#is anyone else hesitant to admit deliberate queer coding in this show?#because it just feels too ahead of its time to be true#and because a fucking man wrote it#but these things just LEAP out of the story#house md#malpractice md#greg house#james wilson#hilson#like i think abt that season 10 supernatural episode 'fanfiction'#where the entire premise was just shipping culture and gay jokes#if that were somehow a house episode the joke wouldn't stop there#the underlying plot would actually confirm the essence of those jokes in an ungodly sincere way#s6 era#film bro moment
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two truths & a lie | e.w

tlou!ellie williams & tlou!reader
wc: 5.1k
blurb: the three run-ins you had with your favorite person didn’t always end in good form: the two times a truth was told, and the one time a lie was made (out of order). but, hey, it was all in good faith, right?
warnings: angsty teenager!ellie and reader, cat beef, vulgar language, friends to lovers, lots of exposition, holidays mentioned but barely focused, fluff, mentioning of drugs and alcohol, lots and LOTS of corny lovey stuff.
note: i genuinely love writing sweet ellie, i feel like there’s not enough of her for my liking. please enjoy, little ellie williams!! ps. this was already long enough, so i left out the new year’s party. if you wanna see that… let me know ;D
⋆·˚ ༘ *
I
The thick rubber soles of your boots creeped along the wooden floors of your friends’ lodgings. A lamp dimly lit up the corner of the room, but it’s warm brightness didn’t spread far. The closer you shifted toward her bed, the darker it got. Light poles from the street, and the moon, illuminating the side of her fatigued freckled face.
Lightly, you sat on the edge of her mattress, leaning over her. Before your fingers danced along her shoulder, to wake her—you admired her daintily scarred features. The strip of missing hair in her eyebrow, a scar. The freckles dusted along her skin, reflecting the stars in the sky. It made sense why she loved astronomy so much; she was the personification of it.
“Ellie. Ellie, wake up.” You shook her, gently.
Instead of stirring, she jolted awake. Green eyes snapping open, reaching for your forearm with a vice-like grip. Noises of fear falling from her dry lips. “Woah… Hey, it’s just me.” You placed your hand over hers, caressing her fingers. “S’Just me.”
She sat up against her pillows, sighing. “What the hell are you doing here? How’d you get in?” Ellie rubbed her eyes, sleepily.
“You left your window unlocked.” You state, plainly. “Pack a bag— we’re sneaking out.” Reaching over to her bedside table, you switched on the lamp. Ellie looked at you with narrowed eyes. “There’s a patrol post not far from here. And I heard, there was an arcade in the basement.” A grin stretched across your face.
Ellie looked at the alarm clock on her bedside table. “It’s twelve in the morning. We have a shift at the stables at seven.”
“We’ll be back before then.” You shrug.
“What if Joel finds out? He’s already causing me enough problems—“
“He won’t! If we leave now. So, pack a bag, and put some clothes on.” You trot to the window you entered from, swinging each leg out, carefully. “I’ll be waiting out here.” You whisper from the windowsill. The auburn-haired girl rolled her eyes, as she dug through her drawers for clothes.
Respectfully, you averted your eyes. Keeping watch to make sure everything was going according to plan. You had been planning this spontaneous getaway for days; in honor of Ellie’s upcoming sixteenth birthday. Joel and his protective antics weren’t going to stop you from having her to yourself for a little while. It was getting harder to find time to hang out. She was either with Cat, flirting and getting her tattoo completed, or training with Joel and Tommy.
Sometimes, Tommy invited you because of your excitement for patrols, but it was rarely just you and Ellie; like it used to be. When you both, somehow, wound up in the same place—Jackson, Wyoming.
Eventually, she jumped out of her window. In a long-sleeved shirt, jeans, and boots—dressed for the cooling, autumn weather. “I swear if we get caught for this…”
You chuckle, rolling your eyes. “Don’t be such a goody-two-shoes.”
Sneaking out of Jackson was made easy by your effortless planning. The guards at the front gates were too busy drinking and gambling to pay attention to the two teenagers sneaking out in the dark: with a horse. The lights attached to the straps of your backpacks illuminated the way through dense wood.
Ellie’s arms held onto your waist, comfortably. As you engaged in friendly conversation. “What’s it with you and Cat? The two of you seem… Cozy.” You spoke, raising an eyebrow that she couldn’t see. She leaned her head on the blade of your shoulder, humming in thought.
“Define cozy.”
“She likes you, Ellie.” You snort. “That’s my definition of cozy.”
She tightens her arms around your abdomen. “Well, I think you’re unfamiliar with what the term cozy actually means— because Cat doesn’t like me.”
You sigh, wistfully. “I wish I was as naïve as you.” Partially, that was true. Things would be easier if your own naïveté blocked the feelings you had for your friend. But, instead, you stayed a platonic pretender.
A few minutes later, you arrived at the patrol post. Ellie hopping down first, keeping her eyes diligently peeled. As you pull your feet out of the bronze stirrups, a hand gets offered to you. “M’lady,” She perks her eyebrow, smirking. Faking a thick southern drawl that resembled Joel and Tommy’s voice.
Shaking your head, you take her hand to dismount from Hickory. “Thank you, kind… Gentlewoman.”
Ellie boisterously laughed, keeping a hold on your loose hand. “Gentlewoman?”
“Oh, my God! Forget it.” Your cheeks flush with warmth, slipping your fingers from hers. But a small smile, still stretched onto your lips in amusement. “Come on. We do not have all night.” Entering the building, you didn’t take the time to tour the post. You ushered her with your arm around her shoulders toward metal double doors. Leading to the most anticipated room—the basement.
“Should I be nervous that you’re bringing me to a dark room?”
You look into her earthy eyes. “It won’t be dark for long…”
Pushing open the doors, you run down the cement stairs, toward the generator. You pulled the cord until the lights flickered on and the games began to speak. Theme songs and fanfares playing aloud, embracing the silence. Looking over toward Ellie with a grand smile, she mirrored you. Releasing a laugh of excitement.
“Happy early birthday, El!” You wave your hands.
She sighed, happily, approaching you. “You did all this for me?” Her thick eyebrows furrowed.
“By all this if you mean turning off this generator just so I can turn it back on to create this… Light show— then, yes, I did all this for you.” Abruptly, Ellie tackled you into a firm hug, wrapping her arms around your neck. You return the sentiment, holding onto her like it was your last day on Earth. And it very well could be.
“Ugh, I love you!” She exclaims in a fit of joy, before even realizing her words. However, you stiffen, subtly. Ellie certainly noticed, but she didn’t change her demeanor much. “Let’s play Pac-Man first— I’ve been wanting to play that for such a long time.” She pulled you by her hand toward the bright machine.
Fingers ready on the red start button.
“Good luck.”
“Don’t need it.” You grinned, preparing to put your everything into that game. It was her birthday present, but that didn’t change the fact that you are competitive as hell! And so is Ellie; it’s like a match made in heaven.
II
Christmas used to be the most exciting—and expensive— part of the year, according to Tommy and Maria Miller. Jackson had a barter system, and everyone worked to keep the community afloat. So, the holidays in Jackson were always filled with loads of joy and spirit. And, usually, you found yourself involved in the many festivities occurring. However, this year, something’s changed.
It was just after thanksgiving when the atmosphere shifted for you. Joel was iffy when it came to holidays—hosting a family dinner a full five days after the original date. December 3rd. Living with Tommy, you were expected to be there. Running late from work, you arrived during dinner. Still, in your comfortable work clothes.
Walking into the dinning room, you expected to see every face minus one—Cat. The edgy tattoo artist sat beside Ellie, in the seat typically reserved for you, with a kind smile on her shiny lips. Joel stood from his chair, welcoming you with a firm hug. “You made it just in time. Cat’s telling us about the new project she’s working on— she’s a great artist.”
You weren’t sure if he was laying it on thick for the new guest, or what—but his tone irritated you. Peering to the side, you met Ellie’s apologetic eyes.
The both of you had gotten even closer after gifting her that arcade. In ways that would consider your relationship to be complicated. Between October and early November, you shared secrets, trinkets, and even, kisses. Mostly under the influences of alcohol or weed—but that didn’t make it any less real. Or did it?
Since then, you and Ellie have barely spoken. The only times you’ve shared more than a greeting with her was when you were forced to go on patrols together. Joel and Tommy were uncertain about sending you both out with other people—they could only trust that the two of you could handle yourselves properly—so they say.
Word travels fast in Jackson. And, when Ellie and Cat went official—everybody knew. But you had your suspicions prior to. They were obnoxiously confirmed when Jesse and Dina came banging on your front door; during a movie night you were having with Maria.
When Christmas came around, there was a party every year. Children had fun in the snow, while the adults danced and drank so much the cold no longer bothered them. The only thing you were excited for was the alcohol, because you knew one thing was for sure—Ellie and Cat were going to be galavanting in front of you all lovey and annoying. And you needed something absorb the pain of it.
Dodging the genuine compliments from Maria on the way out of the house, you stalked toward the Tipsy Bison. It was decorated with holiday-colored lights from the roof to the ground. You helped put some of them up, but when your old friend came to join you; you bailed the last second.
Every time your eyes met hers—your insides crumbled all over again. It was impossible for you to understand what Ellie was to you. More so now than ever. It wasn’t the fact that she lied about her status with Cat—it was the fact that she was her fucking girlfriend in general!
You were selfish. You wanted her all to yourself, and for some reason, the universe didn’t want you to have that. The universe didn’t want you to bathe in your selfishness—even if you deserved to.
“Merry Christmas,” A young girl at the entrance of the tavern, smiled. “Don’t forget to put your ornament on the tree.” She hands you a handmade ornament, dressed in shimmery twine. The kids at the daycare were told to create ornaments for the community christmas tree. Their names were written on the back of it—Billy, spelled out sloppily, was on the back of your ornament.
“Merry Christmas.” You smiled, tightly. “Need any help around here?” Your eyes looked around the tavern, acknowledging the decorations inside. There wasn’t any work to be done, but God, did you wish there was. Distracting yourself was your favorite past time.
“Nope! Everything’s all set. Unless Maria told you otherwise…”
“All she told me was to have fun.”
The girl smiled, no younger than fourteen, playing with the pile of paper ornaments. “Then, have fun!” She teased, averting her eyes to the next guest entering the building.
It was much warmer the deeper you strolled into the bar. Jesse and Dina have yet to arrive—of course, you were too early. Waiting for them, you walked to the bar top, leaning your elbows against the surface. “Can I get a hot chocolate? No whipped cream.” You ask, kindly, to the woman on the other side. She nodded, quickly working behind the counter to get your drink prepared.
Waiting patiently, your mind wandered. You only wished you could be celebrating the holidays how you originally planned—with your best friend. Maybe you were acting out of turn; throwing a tantrum over your best friends' relationship wasn’t something a friend would do. You should’ve been happy for her. But that would mean the moments you had together didn’t mean anything to you—when it meant so much.
“Merry Christmas, y/n.” Her raspy voice spoke, sliding into the stool next to you. The short strands of her hair were released from her usual ponytail. Parted to the side and pushed behind her ears. You met her eyes, halfheartedly. Barely giving a long enough glance to fully take in her appearance. It was intentional.
Making the choice not to respond, you looked forward, watching as the bartender made your drink. “Where’s your girlfriend?” You muttered, lips arching in distaste.
Ellie frowned, boring her bright eyes into the side of your face. “Working late. She won’t be here for awhile…” Her words came from her full lips like an offering. But, you were planning on taking her up on whatever it was.
The bartender handed you the warm mug with a festive grin. Greeting the girl next to you, casually. You have her a final look before, leaving the bar without a word. The Tipsy Bison became stuffy all of a sudden, so you left through the back door. Staying close by with your hot drink clenched to your chest. The brisk coolness of the air brought you back to your senses. But you still reached into the pocket of your insulated coat for the tiny bottle of vodka you took. Pouring the entirety of it into your chocolate beverage.
Sipping your drink, you didn’t realize the auburn-haired girl had followed you out. Rounding the corner of the building just as stealthily as you did.
“Can we talk?” Heat smoked from her mouth as her body heat juxtaposed the cold weather.
You sighed, pressing your lips into a stubborn line. “Talk about what?”
“…Us. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” She shrugged, helplessly. Eyes glistening in remorse. Ellie stood awkwardly in front of you, playing with her fingers.
“What part? You and Cat… Or me and you?”
She paused. “Me and you…” You scoffed, eyes welling up in tears. “Let me explain—“
You stood up, still holding your mug. It was the only thing keeping you warm. “I really couldn’t care less, Ellie.”
Grabbing your wrist, covered in a fleece glove, she pleaded. “Please!”
Sighing, you shook her grip off you, caving to her plea. You gestured for her to go on, with a frown on her lips. “Just tell me whatever we had was a mistake so I can move on…” You voice cracked ever so slightly, exposing your stress.
Her thick eyebrows deepened. “What? No, y/n, no— of course, not.” Ellie shifted. “I didn’t think any of that mattered to you…” She mumbled mostly to herself.
“Ellie, we made out on your couch every other night. How could that not matter to me?” You paused, stepping closer to her. “We told each other things our other friends know nothing about—“ You cut yourself off, glancing down at her covered forearm. The one covered by the tattoo Cat did for her. “Does she know? About your chemical burn?” Indirectly, you mentioned one of the most significant secrets you shared—she shared.
She was immune to the cordyceps virus. The tattoo that covered a chemical burn, was really coverage for the scars of the bite from infected.
Her lips tightened. “No. She doesn’t.”
“What do you even talk about then?!” You throw your hands up, frustrated. “If you talk at all.”
“She likes me, okay!” Ellie exclaimed, balling her hands up by her side. “Things are easy with her… I don’t know.
“Easy?” Your heart beat in your ears.
“I mean, things are easier with her. I don’t have to worry about ruining a friendship if things go south.”
A snicker fell from your lips. “How worth it was that?” Her shoulders slumped, running her hands over her hair.
“I just miss you, y/n, okay… I miss you.” She moved closer to you, trying to reach for your hand. You let her, but only for a split moment. Feeling the warmth of her skin through her fleece gloves. You missed her, too. You missed playing video games at her place, watching movies, running your fingers through her auburn hair—
Pressing your lips into a line, you frowned. “Well… I don’t.” You slipped your hand from hers, leaving her out in the cold. It wasn’t easier to lie, but you did anyway.
III
“So, they used to drop balls when the new year came around? Like… Any type of ball or…”
You laughed as you tended to your patrol horse, Hickory. Her deep-colored fur was softer than anything you’ve ever felt—softer than a baby’s bottom. “No, Tommy said it was some structure in New York City. And they filmed it nationally; it was a whole thing.” You explained, glancing up at the boy outside of the stable. He worked with the horse's day-in and day-out—and he worked the stable a like a military camp.
He leaned on the post of Hickory’s area, crossing his arms. “I’m throwing a party later at my place— to bring in the new year… You should come.” He offered, raising his eyebrows. “It’s no national ball-dropping thing, but there’ll be booze. And a friend of mine’s bringing some other stuff.” His fingers motion smoking a joint.
Grabbing the saddle off the hook, you threw it over Hickory’s sloped back. “Sounds like fun…” You sigh, peering over at the boy. “I’ll drop by for a little while.”
You still weren’t in a partying mood, since your last conversation with Ellie. Lying certainly didn’t make the situation between you too any easier. In fact, it made it worse. Your avoidance for her increased by a thousand. And, to make matters worse, she hated you, too.
Patrols became much more difficult. Like the one you have today…
“Awesome! See you later.” He fist pumped, walking backwards. “Oh, and don’t forget to log Hick on the sign-out sheet!”
“Yeah, yeah.” You waved a dismissive hand at the stable hand. You were far from forgetful.
After attaching all the garments to your horse, you led him out, cooing at him. You led him out to entrance of the community, where your ex-friend impatiently waited on you. Tommy stood in the supply room, stocking up your bag. Dropping the halter, you walked into the wooden box that was storing patrol supplies. “Ah, there you are. I was about to consider you late.”
“I’m never late.” You chuckle, reaching for your bag. Although, wallowing in your own nerves, a subtle smile spread onto your lips. Reaching for your bag, he stops your hand.
“I don’t know what going on between you two…” He glances at the girl lingering by her horse. “But this is the chance to fix it. I don’t like when you girls fight.”
You pressed your lips into a firm line. “Is that why you keep sending us off on patrol runs together? So we can kiss and make up?” Snorting, you looked to the side with guilt-ridden eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
Tommy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, whatever’s goin’ on— don’t let that get in the way of safety. Keep an eye on each other. You’re partners.”
Partners.
“Right… Yeah. We haven’t had any problems, though… So…”
“Still, be aware. Infected wander in the winter.” He reminds, handing you the backpack. Then, giving you a handgun to secure on your waist, and a much larger gun to hook to your bag. He walks you out to where Ellie stood, adjusting the bridle on her horse. The crunching of snow under your boots caught her attention.
She barely spared you a glance, before looking at Tommy. “Joel and I are allowing the two of you to venture out a little further this morning— don’t make us regret it.” He stuffed his bare hands into his pockets.
“We won’t.” The both of you drawled, rolling your eyes.
You mounted Hickory, watching as Ellie did the same with her horse. “We’ll be good, Tommy.” Giving a tight-lipped smile, you mentally prepared for the trip.
The gates opened up, letting the two of you trot out into snowy wood. Higher in the air, it was cooler—brisker. It was no match for the teenager trotting a few paces ahead of you, though. You’ve ridden in silence before, but it was worse when she had a reason to be upset with you. Ellie’s anger was unforgiving, to say the least.
And you thought you were bad.
It was about a forty-five-minute ride of nothing but the whispers of the wind and animals jolting at the sound of their horses' feet. When you got to the post, you dismounted, jumping into the snow. “I’ll be back soon, Hick.” You whispered, kissing his jaw, sweetly.
Inhaling deeply, you were the first to enter through the buildings broken windows. The actual post was on the upper level because it actually had a working door. Ellie walked in after you, immediately beginning to survey the area. Her switchblade was clenched in a fist as she picked up miscellaneous objects.
Sighing, you began to do the same. Being sure to stay on opposite sides of the first floor. Even so, you couldn’t help but glance at her ever so often. A knit beanie was tugged over her ears, her ponytail peaking out from underneath. Thick eyebrows pushed together, focused; or still, tragically, annoyed with you.
Ugh, what should you care? Ellie was the one to walk away first… Or was she?
This place must’ve been a media store or something. It had lingering records scattered along the scruffy wooden floor, comic books, CDs—the works. The first floor had basically been picked clean. You only hoped when you made it upstairs, there was more.
“All clear…” Ellie spoke, lowly. Opening one of the heavy metal doors to the short stairwell. She let it slam behind her as disappeared to the upper level.
You frowned, tears welling up in your eyes. “I got what I wanted… Didn’t I?” You mutter to yourself, following her path. But, on a shelf, your gaze caught something of importance. It was the fifteenth edition of Savage Starlight. How could she have missed this? Not only was it one of her favorite comics to read, but it was edition that had limited in the top corner. Very few had this one.
Chewing on drying skin of your bottom lip, you swung off your bag, pushing the comic snugly inside trying to preserve it from wrinkles. The timing couldn’t be estimated when you’d give this to her. Maybe one day, you’ll leave it on her porch without a note.
Then, you navigated to the upper level, shutting the door behind you. It was more insulated up there than the first floor. The windows were still intact, and every door was shut or bolted shut by furniture.
Immediately, you approached the sign-in log. Writing your name just under the messy handwriting of your partners’. Smacking your lips together, you peer at the auburn-haired girl. Ellie was stood by the long, frosted window with her arms crossed. It looked as if she were leaning on words to say but choosing otherwise.
You fiddle with pen, rocking on your feet as you eyed her. The feeling of missing her was prevalent, again. It was intense as your eyes bored into the side of her delicate face. Her emotions were worn on the hems of her sleeves—negative or positive. But even with her features pinched, she was just as beautiful. It just sucked that you were the reason behind it. You wanted to feel her arms around you again—even if it was platonic. You wanted to hear her laugh; see her smile.
Just as she turned to meet your eyes, you began to wander around the room. Looking at the books and comics scattered around. Perhaps, you could find some other reads. Keep you busy while you were on lookout. It’s not like you talked to each other anymore.
You fingered the dusty shelves, not seeing anything worth taking back to Jackson. In the corner there was another metal door—singular with a silver handle. The door was labeled ‘other goods’. Which only made you think about what you could be missing you didn’t check it out.
Ignoring the flipped over note taped to the threshold of the door, you entered. Expecting to see boxes of comics, mangas and magazines. However, instead, you greeted by a vicious runner. Your reaction was slowed, due to the many things running through your head. Roughly, your back hit the ground, inadvertently smacking your head against the flooring.
It screamed at you, chomping violently. Strands of its hair fell onto you as it thrashed, hungrily. Moaning and groaning between every convulsion. The red veins on its skin exposed the stage of the infection—little mushroom-like structures beginning to form at the tips of its bloodshot veins.
You fought with it, yelping like a hurt dog. A glimmer of the ridged knife you cared shone from the corner your eye. It had fallen from its holster—too far for you to reach. If this was your karma for lying, then it came quick.
Only focusing on the deadly being atop of you, you couldn’t hear the rapid feet of your partner sprinting to help you, calling out your name, shakily. Using the switchblade Ellie always carried with her, she began to defensively stab the runner. Repeating the action until its body dropped atop of yours. You groaned in disgust.
Ellie helped you roll the body off you, and quickly began to search your body for bites. While your puffer jacket was soaked with blood, you were completely fine. But Ellie didn’t know that she she checked, anxiously. “Are you okay? Did he bite you?” She asked, rambling more questions. Enough to overwhelm you.
She patted your covered arms, reaching for your blood-splattered face to check for any marks. “No. I’m fine—“ You mutter.
“He was really fuckin’ close—!” She still patted you down like a nervous security guard. “Fuck! I should’ve cleared this level—“
“Ellie!” You exclaimed, grabbing her roaming hands, looking her in the eye. “He didn’t bite me— I’m okay.” Endless worry had filled her earthy irises. Flushed nose, touched by the winter, sniffling. This was the first time you were this close to her in awhile—staring intently at her. Somehow, trying to convince her without words that you were okay.
Her eyes were fixed on you, just before her arms wrapped around your shoulders, thoughtfully. There wasn’t an attack of warmth—a hug she’d given before—it was contemplated, debated, decided.
Without a thought, you returned it, wrapping your arms around her. Leaning your head on her shoulder, furrowing your eyebrows. Enveloping her touch, senselessly. Remorse revved up inside of you, prodding at your muscles. “I thought I was gonna lose you…” Ellie muttered into the hoodie of your coat.
“I thought I was gonna lose my chance…” You related, pulling back to look at her once more. Tears had welled up in her eyes, she was trembling. You both were. Reminiscent of the runner and the fear that caked up inside of you. “Ellie…” You breathed. “I lied to you.”
“Huh?” Her eyebrows deepened.
“I lied to you. At the Christmas party— you told me that you missed me, and I said that I didn’t miss you. That was a lie!” Lowering your head, you shook it, disapprovingly. “A stupid fucking lie.”
Her cold hands drifted to your frosted cheeks. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry— I’ve missed you so much I can barely breathe. If you’re happy with Cat… I should be happy for you regardless of anything. I wasn’t being a good friend—“ It was your turn to wearily ramble, fidgeting with the material of her jacket. Shaking like a flimsy sign in high winds.
It was the softness of her lips that interrupted you, warming up your skin. It was buttery sweet and chaste, pulling you from the intensity of your thoughts. Ellie tugged you into another embrace, somehow warmer than before. “I should’ve never got with her to begin with.”
“Past tense?” You raised an eyebrow.
She pulled back. “Past tense.” Taking a seat in beside you, she leaned on one of the shelves. Following her, you did the same. Scratching the back of your head, feeling the slight throb that came from the collision. “She broke up with me a few days ago… I kept bringing you up— it was annoying the shit out of her.” Ellie chortled, propping up her legs to lean her arms on. “I was so mad at you… Because it just didn’t make any sense.”
You looked down, at your crossed legs. “But then, it did. Everything did.” Ellie added, peering at you. “I love you, y/n.” She spoke with such conviction; your eyes grew hot with tears. “I was just scared to see it through— and I should have seen it through, instead of getting with someone else.”
A beat bounced between the two of you.
Shrugging off the backpack you almost forgot was on you, you dug inside, a grin painted on your face. You clench the Savage Starlight comic in your hands as you abruptly stood up. Ignoring the soreness in your muscles from being attacked. Ellie looked up at you, watching you move swiftly. “This is the part where you say you love me back.”
“Give me a second.”
You trot to the sign-in sheet, using the pen to write inside the comic: I LOVE YOU, EL. In capital letters, on the title page. She’d gotten up, following you to the countertop the sheet was on. Turning around, you thrusted the comic from your chest, smiling. “Savage Starlight?!” Ellie joyfully laughed, taking the comic in her hands.
“Limited edition.” You pointed to the cover. “I found it downstairs… You’ll never forget how much I love you because I wrote it on the first page.” Ellie flipped open the page, musing at what you wrote. “Everytime, you read it, you’ll remember.”
Her eyebrows furrowed, emotionally. Tossing the comic book to the side, she pulled you into another kiss. Less sweet, more passionate. You giggled against her lips, unabashedly opening your eyes. She pulled back, analyzing your flushed features. “Maybe, you could… I don’t know… Write it on every page? Only after I finish it, though. My memory’s a little bad.” She joked, caressing your face.
Rolling your eyes, you pushed a piece of her straggling hair under her beanie. “Sure, whatever you want.”
“Whatever I want?”
“Ellie…” You warned, but there was nothing that could wipe the foolish expression molded onto your features. Therefore, she was far from taking you seriously.
#🪅#millersfinest#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams imagine#ellie tlou#the last of us#ellie williams fluff#lgbtq#lesbian
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2005 || sam and colby
‘does someone wanna tell me, what is going on?’
sum: you died in 2005, trapped in the confines of the hotel you died at. twenty years later, two ghost hunters appear, begging for your attention. and as much as you hated to admit it, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t interested
tw: ghost!reader, ghost hunters!sam and colby, plot. just plot. soooo sorry to be one of those hoes with plot build up for smut. brief mention of suicide. reader is an absolute bitch, sorry not sorry
a/n: thank you spicychat we all say in unison
part two is here
You hated purgatory.
That’s what purgatory was supposed to be, a place you hated. Whatever overlord existed definitely did a good job at doing that. You gathered that only two kinds of death landed you in purgatory. Homicide or suicide. Unfortunately for you a grand total of twenty years ago you had chucked yourself off of the roof. Your death was ultimately nothing more than a blur to you, the news fizzling out fast and moving on to the next thing within a week.
However that meant your soul was confined to the hotel. Each step you took outside of the hotel teleported you back inside, stuck within the walls of crumpling wallpaper and revolting brick red carpet. Not much caught your attention these days, most guest beyond boring. Your only companion was Danny, a spirit who was a cook at the once restaurant that was next door. He stopped by ever so often, but he wasn’t the best company to keep. (Note to self: do not throw fryer grease on coworker, may result in death.)
You laid lazily in one of the main lobbies chairs, your legs dangling over one of the chair arms. No one told you death would be so utterly and completely boring.
It wasn’t until an odd high pitched noise caught your attention, that you perked up a bit. It reminded you of what you imagined a dog whistle would sound like. It was around midnight, the hotel mostly quiet. Even the receptionist was snoozing off at her desk. Curiously you rose from the chair, following the sound. It wasn’t too obnoxious or ground breaking, but it was something you hadn’t heard before. It led you down the basement, a cold and dark room you hadn’t visited in years. There wasn’t much down there anyways besides old pipes and storage.
Two male voices flooded your ears as you walked down the dusty stairs, each step making the ancient wood creek.
“Dude do you hear that?”
You raised an eyebrow, wondering if your steps were audible. Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs you raised an eyebrow, your sights landing on the two men. Equipment and technology foreign to you sat around them, a multi colored light going off when you took a step forward. Surprised, you jumped in response. “Sam, are you getting this? Something just stepped in front of the EMF meter,” The brunette asked. Both men looked utterly concentrated, their faces falling when you took a step back. You were sure they couldn’t see you, but the fucked up looking disco ball definitely lit up because of you.
“We’re not here to hurt you, we just wanna get to know you and find out why you’re here,” Sam said cautiously. Sassily you crossed your arms. Ghost hunters? Seriously? You knew they televised people actually trying to catch ghost, but you thought it was all fake news. Apparently you were wrong. There were those who genuinely believed in ghost like yourself. No matter how attractive both Sam and his friend seemed, no sane person would sit in a basement at midnight trying to get spooked. You tilted your head to the side, carefully walking around the disco ball of exposure.
They had dozens of tools laid out, each looking more high tech than the last. Fuck, when was the last time you had actually bothered paying attention to modern technology? “Fuck, it’s cold as hell over here Colby,” Sam whined, brushing the goosebumps that had spread across his skin.
Colby?
What kind of fuckin name was Colby?
Annoyed, you rubbed your temple. No matter how attractive the duo was, that didn’t take away your distaste from them playing around in your hotel. After all you died there. It was all yours, fair and square. Yet you couldn’t help but feel a sense of curiosity. It had been years since anyone had paid attention to you. Companionship was something you severely lacked, to an unsettling degree. As much as you wanted to turn on your heels and march the other way, you couldn’t. Something was drawing you to the two morons with giant cameras.
Whether or not that be loneliness or boredom was unforeseen, but you sure as shit planned on finding out.
Your transparent fingers brushed the flashlight, making it click on. This caught both boys attention, their icy blue eyes widening. Your simple actions were mesmerizing to them, even though you didn’t think you did much at all. “It’s moving around, it’s like it’s curious,” Colby concluded. You rolled your eyes, clicking the flashlight off, as if to confirm his suspicion. This made both of them jump, the camera almost slipping out of Sam’s hand. “Holy shit, I didn’t actually think we’d catch anything here dude. That’s crazy,” Sam admitted, readjusting his grip on the oversized camera. You studied it for a moment, concluding it looked so silly and dramatic it must’ve previously been used to shoot old school porn.
“I know just the thing to get this session heated up, check it,” Sam said, pulling out a tiny box. Obnoxious radio frequencies poured out of the speaker, causing you to cringe. “This is a spirit box. If you talk into it, we’ll be able to communicate with you,” Colby explained, glancing around the room. You wondered if they were anticipating more than just you or if Colby was just genuinely trying to see you. Sighing, you cleared your throat dramatically. When was the last time you had tried to speak? Like actual full sentences and not just grumbles of despair?
“You both look like fuckin morons.”
“Morons.”
Goddammit.
You audibly scoffed, offended the radio only picked up on your insult. You had more personality than a bully. “I don’t think they want us here, maybe we could head to the roof,” Colby pointed out. You leaned over, putting your mouth as close to the spirit box as possible.
“Your little do hickey here sucks, how am I supposed to communicate if you hear one word out of a dozen?”
“Little… How… Dozen…?”
Frustrated, you began to grow more and more irritated by the second. “They seem confused. If there’s a dozen of them in here it may be hard to talk to any of them,” Sam commented. Colby sighed, clicking off the spirit box. “Hey! I wasn’t done!” You bickered, the brunette packing it away. He shrugged his backpack on, grabbing the disco ball of doom and flashlights. “Guess we should head upstairs and try again. The roof shouldn’t be too windy so maybe the audio won’t be choppy,” He said, watching Sam put down the camera. You could practically feel the disappointment dripping off of them. Whether you liked it or not, it was oozing off of you too.
“Think about it this way dude, if there’s this many, some are bound to follow us, right?” Sam laughed, trying to encourage his friend. He pat his shoulder, Colby shrugging. They began walking towards the stairs, leaving you to trail eagerly after them. Sam went up first, dust spiraling in the air and the wood creaking under his weight. Colby reluctantly followed, giving the basement one final glance over. You felt helpless, knowing they couldn’t see you. In one final foolish attempt of making a connection, you reached out to grab Colby’s wrist as he turned to walk up the stairs.
“I guess so-”
The brunettes words hung in the air as he glanced over his shoulder, the feeling of someone holding his wrist keeping him frozen. You gripped his wrist tightly, a little too much so. You could feel the energy flowing through him, to a point where you almost felt like you could feel it too. “Are you seeing what i’m seeing?” Colby asked, his gaze locked on where you were standing. It was odd, feeling someone’s eyes genuinely see you for the first time after two decades of not worrying about your appearance. There was a registration in his eyes, one that made you jump back.
Sam missed the moment entirely, too busy fiddling with the camera to look up. “What is it? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” The blonde teased, watching as Colby reached out to grab a handful of air. He abandoned the few stairs he had climbed up, his gaze searching for you. “I saw a girl or like, a flash of her hair and eyes,” He rambled, looking around the basement. It felt silly to hide, your face hardened and form crouching as you hid behind a bunch of old folding chairs. “Are you sure you aren’t seeing things? We haven’t slept in almost a day now, maybe we should just head back,” Sam suggested, worry spreading across his face.
Colby licked his dry lips, shrugging Sam off. “Dude i’m telling you, I felt her. It was a girl,” He insisted. Sam’s face ran through multiple emotions. Skepticism, worry, confusion, fear. “Are you high? We aren’t even sure ghost are real. Think for a second,” Sam said without thinking, his eyebrows furrowed. You felt bad, making both of them so utterly confused. Colby nervously ran a hand through his hair, before readjusting his jacket. “Hold out your hand,” He instructed Sam.
“Hold out my hand? I’m not holding out shit-”
“What are you? Scared? Hold out your hand. If you don’t feel anything, we can go.”
Colby’s voice was firm, the blonde setting the camera onto the floor. “This isn’t going to be the placebo effect you know,” Sam mumbled. Colby shushed him, his hypnotizing blue eyes searching the basement for any sign of you. “Hey, i’m sorry if I scared you. Can you touch my friend Sam here like you did me? I know you felt what I did,” Colby declared boldly. Hesitantly you peered from around the pile of dusty chairs, the cold basement making Sam shiver. You supposed it didn’t help you were standing in front of him either. Hesitantly you grabbed the blondes hair, his eyes flickering with the same sense of recognition.
“Holy fucking shit,” Sam muttered. Colby was warm to the touch, like a nice hot bath on a cold day. But Sam? Sam’s energy was what you imagined taking forty adderall at a concert felt like. You studied his face, silence echoing throughout the room. While still transparent, your form was visible if the boys squinted enough.
“Colby, there’s a ghost holding my hand,” Sam whispered, his gaze never straying from your smaller form.
“Great observation, so glad you believe me now,” Colby deadpanned.
“Does she speak? Can she speak?” Sam rambled.
You arched an eyebrow, refraining from laughing, “I spoke before, why not now?”
Your soft voice was unexpected, Sam jumping in response. As quick as you appeared you vanished, your being back to being invisible to the human eyes. “Shit, sorry,” Sam mumbled awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.
“The energy transfer seems to give her the ability to solidify her state. The more energy we give her, the less transparent she’ll be,” Colby concluded, catching you and Sam up to speed on his theories. Sam straightened his back, trying to collect himself. “So what you’re saying is that if we touch her, she’ll use our energy to be visible?” Sam asked. Colby nodded, holding out his hand. Despite being completely transparent, it was as if the brunette could see directly through your soul.
“Don’t be scared, take my hand.”
Maybe it was anxiety. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was because a handsome man told you to do so. Whatever it was, his words sounded just right, your hand wrapped around his.
Having a set of eyes, nevertheless two sets of eyes on you, was a quite bit overwhelming. They both seemed tongue tied, causing you to awkwardly clear your throat. “The longer you both stare the more awkward this gets you know,” You point out, which causes both of them to snap out of their daze.
“Well we’ve just never seen a ghost before you know-”
“Well you know not like this-”
“You’re just breath taking and beautiful-”
“How could we not stare-”
The compliments made you not only blush, but snort in response. “Do you guys get out much? Besides hunting ghost?” You asked teasingly. Colby gripped your hand, a cocky smirk dancing up his lips. “I’ll have you know we’re both quite famous youtubers,” He said proudly. Your confusion was visible, your eyes flickering to Sam for support. “That cheesy television site? No way people post on their now and get famous off of it,” You retorted in disbelief. Sam blinked, his gaze briefly flickering to your hand connected to Colby’s. Your name fell from his lips, as if he had just solved the world’s hardest puzzle.
“Holy fuck, you died in like, 2005 didn’t you? Youtube was like just made,” Sam said, astonished. You knew in most timelines you had never met these two. After all, you died at twenty two, but you were supposed to be forty two. Old enough to be one of their moms. Yet you had never matured past twenty two, their humanly charms making you more nervous by the moment. You began to overthink everything, down to every micro movement as you talked to them. It felt nice, to hear your own voice for once. What felt even better, was hearing two eager voices respond back.
The conversation bounced everywhere, a connection solidified between the three of you without much effort being given. “If she’s semi visible when we hold her hand, I wonder what we’d have to do to get her to look like us,” Colby wondered aloud. It was a cruel and harsh reality that had to be considered. The second you disconnected from Colby you were gone, erased from existence. “We could experiment and see what works,” You suggested meekly, the utter filth running through your mind. There were repercussions with the mere idea, taking away the fact you felt embarrassed to be practically drooling over two strangers.
“Yeah we can try hugging and embracing to see if that does anything more significant-”
“Or!”
“Or?”
“There are other ways to exchange energy,” You say slowly. Colby stares at you with furrowed eyebrows, his confusion written all across his face. Sam on the other hand, seemed to register exactly what you were insinuating.
“Are you asking us to fuck you?”
The bluntness of his question caught you off guard, Colby’s elbow colliding with his chest before you had a chance to answer. A lecture of disrespecting spirits was leaving Colby’s lips, the brunette rambling about being respectful. It wasn’t until you squeezed his hand that he stopped talking. “Actually Colby, he’s right,” You interjected. You hadn’t anticipated for your core to flutter at the sight of Colby’s cheeks turning a light pink.
“Both of us?” He questioned, as if processing the words to ensure he heard them correctly. You nodded affirmatively, trying to ignore how flustered you felt. “The more energy the better, right?” You asked, biting the inside of your cheek. Sam and Colby exchanged glances, as if communicating telepathically.
“For science, right?”
“Of course, for science.”
There was a brief moment of silence, the tension thicker than you could comprehend. A sick smile curled up Sam’s lips, the blonde met your gaze, cockiness practically oozing off of him.
“I can record this then, right?”
#sam and colby x you#sam golbach x you#sam goldbach smut#sam golbach x colby brock#sam and colby x reader#sam golbach x reader#sam golbach smut#sam and colby smut#sam golbach#colby brock x y/n#colby brock x you#colby brock x reader#colby brock smut#colby brock#sam and colby
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Hi could you write how F1 drivers would react to reader being really shy and blushing all the time?
Thank you!!
Hello !! This request is cute, so here's the cutest thing I've ever written (I think?)
F1 DRIVERS AND YOU
BEING REALLY SHY



( include piastri, norris, leclerc, sainz, hamilton, george, verstappen & ricciardo )
warning : none just reader being shy and a blushing mess
note : f1 is coming back and i think i'm gonna scream because hell i can't wait
─ OSCAR PIASTRI
this boy is a bit like you and it's one of the reason you're genuinely yourself around him. he's humble and also shy, well he gets shy easily, but seeing you mirror his personality is probably one of his favorite thing in the world. sometimes it's you who make him all shy, then he became a blushing mess. and when it's not you then it's oscar, who absolutely melt at your shyness and the way you become red in a second. maybe you find it embarrassing but it's just precious to him. it's you, and it's perfect.
─ LANDO NORRIS
lando is such an extrovert and sassy boy. that's why it was uncommon for him to meet such a shy and timid person like you. but as the time goes on he started to completely fall in love with this side of you. he finds it adorable, the way you always blush because you're too shy to properly say something. it's so cute. he thinks the subtle tint of pink on your cheeks is the cutest thing he has ever seen. but he knows sometimes it's hard for you to get comfortable, so he often helps you when you need some help and reassurance.
─ CHARLES LECLERC
boy absolutely adores you. he's obsessed with the way you blush very fast, it's one of the things he adds on his list of favorite things he loves about you. sometimes, he would make fun of you, seeing you blushing and start to stay quiet because you're in your shy mood. but it's always in an affectionate way, he'll never make you feel sad or uncomfortable. he knows the limits. it's teasing but yet he can't help it, he'll never get tired of your cuteness.
─ CARLOS SAINZ
he didn't really know how to react at first. or how to act. he's not so comfortable with shy people. but he learned to love and appreciate you. you being yourself. now he would be lying if he said he doesn't like how your cheeks turn red so easily. it's new to him but he's so interested in you. he loves you the way you are. he likes to scan and examine you and your gestures, how you react. because then he learns about it and after he knows how to act so as not to rush you. he wants to take time to get to know the shy but adorable you.
─ LEWIS HAMILTON
the purest boy with the purest person ever. which is you. this man is so mature and he can definitely say you're the shyer person he knows. and that blushing is now something normal for you. you keep blushing all day, it became an obsession for lewis because damn he can't get enough of this cute picture of you. plus with your shy personality it's impossible for him to not adore you. and love you. every day he gets the chance to see you like that and he always asks for more, because he swears his heart beats faster when he's the one making you blush hard.
─ GEORGE RUSSEL
boy is so funny over this. i think he would more tease you than actually cherish you being all shy. but it's love teasing, he loves to keep pointing at your shyness and your blushing face because deep down his heart begs to see you like that. he tries to play it cool, but he would never tell you that he feels himself melt down a bit every time you're shy with him. like he's completely yours but you're still hesitant about things and he finds it adorable. because he'll always let you do anything with him. just ask him, you'll see.
─ MAX VERSTAPPEN
he's definitely not the best at it but he truly shows you how he cares about you being so shy. when you have trouble to talk or ask for something he's always here to help you. because ain't no way his precious girl goes through that kind of stress alone. also you have this habit of covering your face when you blush because you find it a bit embarrassing. but max always takes off your hands over your face when you're hiding because he thinks it's so cute and adorable, the pink color on your cheeks. definitely adorable.
─ DANIEL RICCIARDO
poor boy was so lost. his goofy extrovert person didn't know how to act with such a shy and timid person like you. like for real he didn't know how to not mess up everything. but as the time goes on he gets more and more comfortable. he puts so much effort into your relationship, he really doesn't want to lose you or push you to far. and then when you finally opened up to him, when your shyness fades away a bit, oh his heart didn't survives how he made you blush like crazy. it is the prettiest thing ever to him. and he'll also get a silly nickname for you. just to tease you yeah.
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#lando norris x reader#oscar piastri x reader#charles leclerc x reader#carlos sainz x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#george russel x reader#max verstappen x reader#daniel riccardo x reader
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Urges
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Pairing | Jason Todd x reader
Summary | The Lazarus Pit had some unexpected side effects.
Warnings | 18+, sexual content, smut, grinding, in public, humiliation, light dubcon, multiple orgasms, no female orgasms, so much come, like genuinely so much, angst?, fluff, Jay is secretly a sweetheart and a simp, obviously.
Words | 2.8k
Notes | Based on this. (Lol imagine that’s you know what all over him in the pic🫣🤭)
Ao3 link | <3
Masterlist

The pit didn’t just give him trauma— it affected his body too, giving him enhanced strength, speed, durability, and healing. But there was another, lesser known side effect.
Honestly he hasn’t even thought about it for the past few years- always too focused on recovering from fucking dying, then on revenge and helping Gotham the way Batman couldn’t. But once it hit him… it hit him like a ton of bricks.
He doesn’t know where Batman or Nightwing were and why they weren’t with you, but there you were, the Batgirl suit even more flattering on your now mature body, making his cock strain in his pants. And you— you stupid little girl— decided to go after him alone.
He tried to fight it, really he did, but when he had you pinned under him in a matter of seconds, he couldn’t help the way he pushed his crotch against you, trying to get a little bit of relief.
“W- Get off me, you fucking creep!” You yelled once you noticed. He didn’t give you an answer because he knew exactly what would shut you up. So he took off the helmet and tossed it to the ground as your eyes widened. “Jason?” You said through a breath, making him growl at the sound of his name rolling off your tongue. He parted your legs, then settled between them and leaned over you as he rutted against your clothed heat. He only lasted a few seconds before the tightness of his pants became painful, so he leaned up to open them and pull his cock out.
“What the hell are you doing?” You gasped, but there was no malice in your tone. Just pure shock and arousal. He leaned back down, shoving his face in the crook of your neck and inhaling deeply, not able to control the way his hips started rutting against you just from your scent. You still wear the same fucking perfume that always used to make his cock fatten up in his pants whenever he got too close to you.
He was panting against your neck now, his cock, trapped between your bodies, growing so incredibly sensitive that it almost fucking hurt. And his balls— god, he doesn’t ever remember a time in his life where they were this fucking heavy and full and aching.
It wasn’t long before he was nearing his orgasm, especially when he focused on your breath on his neck and the way the swell of your tits felt against his chest. He choked out a moan, not able to control the way he started whimpering- so fucking desperate for relief. His brows furrowed, mouth open in a silent moan as his cock started twitching, then shot out rope after rope of come. He’s had enough orgasms to know that the way this one felt was definitely not normal. Even after a few years without it, it shouldn’t be this fucking intense and long.
“God- what the fuck?” He whined, hips still desperately rutting against you as he rode out the endless orgasm. He could feel the mess through his own layers of clothing and he knew that your suit would be fucking wrecked when he was done. But it didn’t stop. He came for what felt like hours, listening to the pulse in your neck, smelling your perfume, feeling the delicate skin on his lips.
“Fuck,” He whimpered, still rutting against you, but the friction was starting to lessen because of his cock being completely soaked with come. His balls just barely lightened, still feeling incredibly full and sore. When he finally, finally felt his orgasm fading, his hips slowed to a stop as he panted, trying to catch his breath.
“Jesus fucking christ-“ You moaned through a breath. His cock twitched at the sound of your voice, never even having a chance to start softening before his whole body burned with need again. He leaned up to examine the mess, finding the entire crotch area of both of your suits completely soaked, as well as most of your mid sections too. He looked down further, finding come still dripping down the flushed tip all the way to his balls. His cock was so hard, it was almost visibly throbbing and his balls looked almost as full as they felt.
“Jason?” You asked quietly, making his eyes snap up to yours with a growl. Your cheeks were pink, lips red and swollen as if you were biting them and he wanted nothing more than to shove his cock between them and make you drink his come, but even with the primal urges overtaking his brain, he couldn’t do that. Not to you. So with another growl he flipped you over, his come making a slapping sound as you landed. This time he kneeled over your legs instead of between them and he laid over you again to hold you still as started rutting against your covered ass.
If he thought the smell of your perfume was intoxicating, it was nothing compared to your hair. He took a deep breath and let out a quiet groan, remembering how he used to be able to smell it when you hugged him. But back then it didn’t make him feel like this— it didn’t make his cock throb and it didn’t make him start whining.
“Jason,” You suddenly said, trying to push yourself up, but his entire body weight was holding you down. He didn’t want to listen to your protests— to your rejection, so he placed a hand over your mouth, making you release a startled moan.
“Shh, I’m sorry. It’s okay, I just- I need this, baby— need you.” You whined against his palm, the sound sending a jolt to his cock.
It took every fiber of his being to not tear your suit and fuck your cunt- fill you up with load after load of his come until you milked him dry. But through those thoughts, he could hear a quiet voice reasoning that he wouldn’t be able to come back from that and he would lose you forever. And even though his cock was begging to be buried in a tight, warm cunt— in your tight, warm cunt— he knew it was true. So this would have to do for now. Just thinking about fucking you had him barreling toward his second orgasm.
“Oh fuck- oh my god.” He whined, resting his forehead on your shoulder. His free hand was clenched so hard to keep from touching your tits, or anywhere else, that his fingers were starting to hurt.
Despite him pinning you down completely, you managed to push your hips up a little, pressing your ass even harder against his cock. The action had him gasping out as he fell over the edge again. He couldn’t hold in the whimpers and moans as his cock twitched between your ass and his pelvis, spurting ropes of come into the tight space. His balls were practically throbbing— pulsing with each shot of come that left his cock.
He continued rutting against you desperately, trying to get the most out of this agonizingly long orgasm. While he could feel some of his come coating his cock, it seemed like most of it landed on the small of your back that was arched as you held your hips up. The ache in his balls was already starting to alleviate, but they weren’t empty yet, so he sat up on his knees to continue, groaning at the sight of the entire lower section of your midriff covered in his come.
“Jason?” You asked quietly, but he ignored you as he lifted you onto your knees, pushing you down by your upper back when you tried to rise on your hands.
“I’m sorry- Just one more, I promise, baby, one more.” He whined, positioning you how he wanted, with your legs squeezed together. The sight of his come rolling up your back into your cape had his cock twitching in need, so he slipped between your thighs and immediately started fucking you. There was enough come covering his length that the friction didn’t hurt, but honestly he could’ve used a little more friction, especially because the material of your suit had him sliding in and out easily.
His hands moved to your hips, gripping tight enough to make you whimper so that they didn’t drift to your ass. Bucking into you as he desperately chased relief again, his eyes trailed all over your body, mostly focusing on your ass through the skin tight suit, but moving up your come covered back too. His balls slapping against your thighs with each thrust was almost starting to hurt, but he couldn’t stop— not even if he wanted to.
“Oh god- I’m so close. Almost there, baby. Just one more I think— Just one more and I’ll feel better.” He choked out, bucking into you wildly. The sound of his wet pants hitting your wet suit was deafening on the otherwise quiet rooftop. When you squeezed your thighs together even harder, he let out a broken moan, cock throbbing, anxiously awaiting the pleasure.
“Oh fuck-“ He groaned, cock twitching between your legs as his come shot out, painting your stomach. Quickly pulling back, he fucked his fist, watching as his come covered your ass and dripped down your thighs. “Shit,” He whimpered, when it just didn’t stop. It was less than his previous orgasms, but still enough that you were practically kneeling in a pool of his come. The last few spurts landed on his fist, dripping down his hand to the puddle on the ground as he panted, trying to catch his breath.
Releasing his cock, he watched the way it still twitched pathetically, but despite that, he knew he was done. What he didn’t know however, was how he was going to clean all of this shit up. His cock was slick with his arousal, dripping down to his balls, adding to the mess on his pants. His hand and clothes were in a similar state.
“Jay?” You asked quietly, making his eyes snap up to you.
“Shit-“ He helped you up so you were sitting in front of him. The come that was on your stomach had rolled up to your chest, coating your tits, making him hiss as his cock twitched at the sight. You were practically covered head to toe in it. “I- Are you…” You flung yourself at his body, wrapping your arms tight around his torso in a hug. He tried not to focus on the way that his come would now be on his chest too. When you pulled back— way too soon, he thought with a frown— you slapped his arm, making him grab the slightly aching spot.
“Ow- What the hell?”
“You have a lot of fucking nerve to be asking me that when you’re the one who needs to start explaining.” You growled, crossing your arms over your chest with a scowl.
“…You’re mad?” He asked sheepishly, watching your expression start to shift into one of amusement before you hardened it again.
“You’re dead. What the fuck, Jason?”
“I’m sorry. Can we just- go somewhere other than here and get cleaned up, then I’ll explain?” He asked, gesturing to the pool of come you were both in. A light blush painted your cheeks when you glanced at the mess.
“Fine.”
He took you to his safe house and apologized profusely, promising to clean your suit for you. Only once you were both dressed in his clothes and sat on the couch did you suddenly realize that Jason is in front of you. Jason who you haven’t seen in years, Jason who’s older now, but still just as pretty as the day you met him. Jason who you couldn’t save.
“How long have you been back?” You asked, trying to hide your emotions as you crossed your arms over your chest and cleared your throat.
“I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner. I had to… work through some things.” You tried to wait patiently for him to explain, but it didn’t seem like he was going to do that anytime soon, so you continued.
“Tell me what happened. I don’t understand how you’re here right now.” He sighed, glancing away from you.
“Do you know what the Lazarus Pit is?”
“The thing Ra’s Al Ghul uses, right?”
“Yeah… He- put me in it. That’s how I’m back.” He muttered.
“Shit- are you okay?” You’ve heard the stories of what it can do to a person and your chest ached knowing that he went through something like that.
“I’m alive.” He shrugged with a dry chuckle.
“I’m sorry.” You moved to wrap your arms around him in a hug, but stopped when he leaned back. When he saw your hurt expression, he rushed to explain himself.
“It’s not you! I just- I can already smell you from here and it’s taking everything in me to not do something I’ll regret. Again.” Your brows furrowed in confusion but when you glanced at his crotch, your eyes widened in understanding.
“I don’t understand how you can still be hard after that. Actually- I don’t even understand how that was possible in the first place.”
“I didn’t know it was possible either… When I came back, I was different— stronger, faster. I guess that changed too.” He explained and you nodded in understanding even though it still barely made sense to you. “Plus the last time I came was like a week before I died so it’s been a while.”
“Jesus- Jason, tmi.”
“That’s tmi?” He scoffed in disbelief. “I just fucking came on you three times and that’s too much?”
“Oh my god- stop.” You muttered, burying your burning face in your hands. “Why did you wait so long though? I mean, I’m assuming you had at least a little bit of time after you came back.”
“The thought never even crossed my mind. Not until— until I… saw you.” He mumbled the last part so you could barely hear it, but you did. “Look, I’m really fucking sorry. I know it’s not an excuse to say I couldn’t control myself, but even then, I still shouldn’t have done it.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“Are you kidding? I assaulted you!” He exclaimed, making you roll your eyes.
“Okay well maybe my mess wasn’t nearly as bad as yours, but if you’d bothered to check, you would’ve found evidence to the contrary.” His eyes widened slightly, lips parted in shock.
“You-“ His eyes moved down to your pants as if he’d be able to see what you were talking about. “I don’t… What?”
“You’re so clueless sometimes, you know that?” You chuckled, giving him a small smile.
“I’m not.. clueless. I was just distracted.” He muttered, a blush painting his cheeks.
“Uh huh. I have a question.” You said, changing the subject.
“Shoot.”
“Why me? I’m sure you saw plenty of other girls throughout the years so why did I make you break?” His lips curled up into a small smile and you couldn’t help but feel like there was an inside joke you weren’t a part of.
“You’re so clueless sometimes.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You frowned.
“Jesus- I don’t know what job you have, but I really fucking hope you’re not a detective.” He chuckled and you hit his arm again.
“Shut up. Just tell me.” His expression suddenly dropped into a more serious one and you felt anxiety start to twist in your stomach.
“Because I’ve had a crush on you since we were like 14.” He muttered. You stared at him in shock and when he turned to finally look at you, you could see the moment where he realized he wanted to backtrack. “Which is really fucking awkward if you have a boyfriend or don’t feel the same way because I did not think this through nearly enough,”
“Me too.” You said, putting an end to his rambling.
“What?” He choked out.
“I’ve had a crush on you too. But since we met, not since we were 14.”
“You did?”
“Yeah… Why did you think I was so fucking awkward around you?” You chuckled, making him smile.
“I don’t know, I just thought you were awkward.” He shrugged. “Do you… still have a crush on me?” He asked coyly, as if he was giving himself the opportunity to pass it off as a joke.
“I wouldn’t have let you come on me three times if I didn’t.” You said teasingly, your smile widening from his reaction. You liked turning the tables, making him blush for once. “Do you still have a crush on me?”
“I wouldn’t have come on you three times if I didn’t.”
#jason todd x reader smut#jason todd smut#jason todd#jason todd x reader#smut#lazarus pit#superhuman amount of come#💀#batgirl!reader#jason todd is red hood
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could you plz do the creeps realizing they like someone & what they do abt their feelings?? thank you sm !
🗒 ❛ Realizing They're In Love ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Jeff The Killer, Ben Drowned, Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack, Laughing Jack, Masky, Hoodie
#Notes: warning for some light angst in some parts (mainly EJ and LJ)
pronouns used:
˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗
꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Jeff The Killer
He absolutely hates the way you make him feel and will be extra mean to you because of it. He doesn't even realize what the feelings are at first, he just knows they make him feel vulnerable and weak and he despises that and, by correlation, despises you as well. Once he does realize it though (after a good, good while) he'll still be mean, but more in a teasing sort of way. You can probably tell he has something for you because of how possessive he gets, always wanting your attention to be towards him and getting jealous every time you spend time with other people. He'll just keep behaving that way and getting increasingly upset that you won't notice his "obvious" flirting.
꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ben Drowned
Now this guy is the most shameless simp to have ever simped on the face of the Earth. That being said, he's not used to actually having feelings for someone - normally it only goes as far as physical attraction. So while he is normally decent at flirting (again, if you like cringe pickup lines at all), it all goes down the drain as soon as he realized he's actually, genuinely down bad. Suddenly he's stuttering, unable to get sentences out right, and finds his mind going blank whenever you're around, just fidgeting with his fingers nervously instead of trying to make a move. It's cute if you're into shy guys.
꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby
Another one who's a little bit oblivious to his own feelings for a long, long time. All he knows is that you remind him of simpler times, times where things were better, so he wants to be around you as often as he possibly can. You'll be sitting side by side and he'll see your hand resting by your body and the thought of grabbing it crossed his mind, his heart immediately started beating faster to the point he had to excuse himself. That's when he knew. Though he is quite shy by nature, he'll try his best to be a little bolder in his own way, complimenting you more and being a little more physical. One of the only guys who isn't afraid to confess first, though his is a little bit more in the heat of the moment than a well planned out romantic confession.
꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Eyeless Jack
Now with him, things are a little more complicated. He has what I like to call "villain complex", where he truly and genuinely believes himself to be an awful, disgusting and vile person. Hell, not even a person - a demon. He lacks any kind of good opinion about himself, so when he realizes (quite fast, at that) that he has feelings for you? He feels offended on your behalf. To have a monster, an abomination like him be in love with you, something so good and pure in his eyes, is like the ultimate offense to him. So, he won't act on his feelings. Honestly, he'll even hope that you manage to get with someone else so he can know you're genuinely, truly happy and move on. It's very plausible you two won't ever end up together. Unless you decide to take matters into your own hands, that is.
꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Laughing Jack
Jack is a little bit of a wild card. He naturally has a flirty personality, so you won't know that he's serious unless he decides to tell you, which he probably won't for a good long while yet. That's because, unless he tells you about it, he doesn't actually have anything to lose. His main fear is that you'll be disgusted by those feelings he has, disgusted by him, and decide to leave him just like everyone else did. It's not even rejection that he's so afraid of, it's abandonment. So, while he has one of the easiest times accepting his feelings, he'll be one of the worst when it comes to acting on them.
꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Masky
Pretty similar to Jeff, but also complete opposites in some ways. While he is extra mean to you because you make him feel vulnerable, it's also because he's hyper aware of what he's feeling towards you. He's a grown man, he knows attraction when he feels it, sexual or romantic, but that doesn't make him hate it any less. Unlike Jeff who's an asshole as a way of flirting, Tim is an asshole to get you to hate him. If you just despise him, his feelings should technically go away as well, so that's what he's aiming at. He already has enough problems in his life, a "silly little crush" (as he calls it) isn't another one that he needs or wants to deal with. Again, if you want things to go further, you'll have to take matters into your own hands.
꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Hoodie
Smooth ass motherfucker. Like Masky, knows what the feelings are right away, but has no fear in acting on them. And he's super fucking good at it. He sees love as one of the many pleasures of life, something meant to be enjoyed, so he's not going to shy away from it. He'll shower you in every love language known to man, this guy absolutely knows what he's doing. He's not even insecure that you might reject him, he knows he's a catch and you know what? He's not wrong. So it won't take him long at all to confess in the most chill but romantic way possible, like it's not even a big deal (which, to him, really isn't).
#creepypasta#creepypasta headcanons#creepypasta x reader#ticci toby#ticci toby x reader#jeff the killer#jeff the killer x reader#eyeless jack#eyeless jack x reader#ben drowned#ben drowned x reader#masky#masky x reader#hoodie#hoodie x reader#laughing jack#laughing jack x reader#ray.writes
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