#sidaris

[theactioneer]

Guns (Andy Sidaris, 1990)

[galleryblue]

Monique Gabrielle & Roberta Vasquez for an Andy Sidaris promo shoot!

[horror-heks]

Andy Sidaris' Bullets, Bombs and Babes: L.E.T.H.A.L Ladies Part 1 (1979-1993)

[adventuresinnerdliness]

[blackros78]

Sybil Danning - Malibu Express

[shabre-legacy]

[astralbondpro]

Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) // Dir. Andy Sidaris

[davidwatchedthat]

4/11/24

DAY OF THE WARRIOR, directed by Andy Sidaris, 1996.

[petersonreviews]

[oonaluna-art]

Super late birthday gift for my friend Dula! Chris has probably never experienced a photo booth, so my friend asked me to draw what it would be like if her OC Trista took her to one.

Chris can make her own filters, pretty cool.

[itscodebaby]

Savage Beach (1989)

[theactioneer]

Seven (Andy Sidaris, 1979)

[lgspears]

Guns - Agents Donna Hamilton and Nicole Justin Running in the Beach.

[supermarcey]

The Tubi Tuesdays Podcast Episode 142 – Guns (1990)

The Tubi Tuesdays Podcast Episode 142 – Guns (1990)

The Tubi Tuesdays Podcast Episode 142 Guns (1990) Marcey’s Pick Download HERE https://supermarcey.files.wordpress.com/2024/04/the-tubi-tuesdays-podcast-episode-142-e28093-guns-1990.mp3 Movie Starts Playing At: 00:06:42 Welcome to our podcast series from The Super Network and Pop4D called Tubi Tuesdays Podcast! This podcast series is focused on discovering and doing commentaries/watch a longs…

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Dallas Connection (1994)

The Dallas Connection is hilariously inept. In many ways, it’s got everything you want out of a "so bad it's good" action film. The performances are awful, with the title of “least convincing” constantly moving from one actor to the next. The plot is simplistic, bordering on idiotic, making it easy to follow even if you’re spending more time shouting insults at the screen than paying attention to what’s going on. The script contains gems like “I’d like to suck the polish off your toes” to keep you laughing. There aren’t a lot of action scenes but when bullets are exchanged, they usually result in some unconvincing dummies blowing up. Most important of all, it takes itself completely seriously, with several final act twists proving that some of the “mistakes” we saw previously were actually intentional. Only one thing prevents me from wholeheartedly recommending it to everyone. What is it? Read on.

A trio of beautiful assassins - Black Widow (Julie Strain), Cobra (Julie K. Smith) and Scorpion (Wendy Hamilton) - eliminate three of the four scientists involved in the creation of an advanced satellite system. To ensure Antonio Morales (Rodrigo Obregón) doesn’t fall prey to the same fate, special agents Chris Cannon (Bruce Penhall), Mark Austin (Mark Barriere), Samantha Maxx (Samantha Phillips) and Nicholas Lang (Roland Marcus) are sent to protect him.

Though the plot is easily summarized, it’s made to seem needlessly complicated. This is because of some equation that was split up among the scientists and then converted into microchips that need to be brought together so the satellite can be activated by a meteor shower. This will allow whoever uses it to detect any weapon on earth, anywhere - even underground. Huh? What? It makes no sense but doesn’t matter. The point is, we have a bunch of male scientists with something the evil people want. How do you get a man to hand over something useful? By seducing them, or blowing them up. Enter the trio of female assassins, all of whom are played by Playboy playmates. Like I always say, if you can’t be good, be sleazy and this movie takes that mantra to heart. Unnecessary shower scenes, prolonged sex scenes, a trip to a strip club and loads of inappropriate outfits make this the kind of movie that would be watched over and over by teenage boys late at night. It’s not quite as bad as Skyscraper, but it’s close. The most hilarious R-rated moment has to be a sequence set in a fancy restaurant. Mr. Morales begins fantasizing about what his bodyguard would look like in lingerie so of course we see Samantha Philips out of her clothes. They had to find some way to get it done… beyond the sex scene she had earlier.

While this obsession with the female body is hilarious and pleasing to anyone who might enjoy the female form… it might also be the one thing that won’t make The Dallas Connection fun for every crowd - especially if your group contains couples. Reportedly, Bruce Penhall’s wife was pretty upset by his enthusiasm in the hot tub scene. It’s easy to see why.

The ladies were cast primarily for their ability to dazzle audiences with their shirts off but the male characters aren't exactly Shakespearean all-stars either. One-liners that should have you cheering will instead make you groan, important dialogue is thoroughly unconvincing (and contains grammatical errors at least once) and everyone comes off as an idiot. It certainly doesn’t help that the story is full of inconsistent behavior - even if you take the twists at the end into consideration. You can spot a boom mike in the upper left corner of an early scene and the story will have you scratching your head. You’d think with the villains’ team being primarily composed of three “strong” women that Samantha would be the big hero at the end. She’s the only one that can’t be seduced, she’s the one that gets closest to Morales, and as the only woman on the team, she stands out. Except she’s a terrible agent. One punch and she’s down for the count - hardly a badass. You might say I was expecting too much but some of the reveals at the end are proper "Oh!" moments that force you to pause and think. Not much, but for a movie of this level, that counts for a lot.

Ultimately, The Dallas Connection is light on the action but makes up for it with the gratuitous nudity. At first, you'll say “Alright, I see what you did there” but it’s expected out of a film like this one. It’s what the poster is promising, after all. The third, fourth, fifth, sixth, etc. time the film finds a way to get the women out of their clothes are so absurd you'll be howling. Once in a while, it also switches things up with some bad performances, unconvincing dummies, lousy dialogue, and nonsensical writing. From my research, it sounds like this is par for the course for director Christian Drew Sidaris. If that's the case, I’m looking forward to seeing more. (March 26, 2022)

[irrlicht-ghostfront]

Vespula called Jaskier the Romancer of Redania, the Luthario of Lyra and the Stud of Cidaris...

why the sudden Stud there my girl be brave

Call him the Cunt of Cidaris