#sick ass fucking skeletons

[agentwashsimp]

NO FUCK I SENT THR WRONG PIC TO MY FAMOLY GC

I MEANT TO SEND THIS AND SAY

"ME COMING OUT OF THE SHOWER"

[roadkill-creatures]

I need everyone to see my vision

[troglobite]

aldkjfalsd

paying more than mortgage costs for an airbnb house that

was not even remotely cleaned upon arrival (MULTIPLE sticky handprints on every surface in the kitchen, dirt IN THE REFRIGERATOR, muddy footprints, carpets & rugs so filthy that we HAVE to wear our slippers & give up on mopping the floors because they get dirty IMMEDIATELY, hair [human and pet, head and pube] on all the sheets and in every corner that has never seen a broom or vacuum, unidentifiable liquids and stains on every door [bedroom and bathroom] and the sheets & comforters)

was clearly not built to code bc it's worse than a 40s house but was built in the 70s (the stairs are definitely not to code and walking through the house quickly is like walking on the deck of a boat out at sea)

was advertised w central air but that was a lie and it only has tiny wall heaters in most rooms and 1 space air conditioner in 1 room

has a window that is so poorly fitted that the worlds largest creatures can come through it and give me a panic attack and nightmares for a week or more, and we had to physically tape it up ourselves

has a fridge that needs a water filter

has multiple smoke & CO alarms that are malfunctioning and/or need batteries

advertised lots of closet space but upon hanging 7 shirts on the ramshackle, not to code, pathetically cobbled together "hanger" in the only closet that won't leave the clothes dragging on the floor, collapsed completely and was unusable (unsurprisingly given the WOOD ITSELF WAS WARPED FROM THE WEIGHT OF *PILLOWS*)

has an UNBEARABLE mold and mildew stench IN THE MAIN BEDROOM ON THE FIRST FLOOR and what looks like a MOLD STAIN ON THE CEILING which is BENEATH THE UPSTAIRS SHOWER

has no batteries, lightbulbs, screwdrivers, garbage bags, or anything else remotely useful in the house for us to use (the vacuum is old as fuck, dusty, busted, and has hair EVERYWHERE, and the broom is literally duct taped together)

the upstairs bathroom toilet is like an escape room or physical/gymnastics challenge to get in and out of

one of the single-room wall heaters is literally BROKEN--turning it all the way down means it cranks and stays on forever, turning it all the way up temporarily turns it off, and it only stays off consistently if set at some middle temperature, but even then it'll still turn on unbidden--and there is no on/off switch

the furniture is nigh unsittable bc it is so cobbled together and uncomfortable

the chairs are basically unusable from how small and uncomfortable they are

the mattress are MISERABLE bc they have the world's FIRMEST MEMORY FOAM on ALL of them

THERE ARE NO CURTAINS ON ANY OF THE FUCKING WINDOWS AND ONLY THREE OF THE WINDOWS HAVE BLINDS. ONLY THREE!!!! THERE ARE ELEVEN OTHER WINDOWS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!

everything outside is overgrown and in need of maintenance and care and is therefore unusable (there are just random dogtoys in places--inside AND outside)

there's just a used candle. sitting behind the tv.

the tv is TRASH and the volume is the WORST i've ever heard. we've trying fixing it REPEATEDLY. it ALSO is impossible to consistently get HDMI to connect to it/my laptop. i have to unplug and replug it multiple times.

the laundry room REEKS OF MOLD/MILDEW. it's also more of a closet. we have to have the fan on 24/7.

you cannot open the blinds on the 3 windows that have them. they removed the pulleys that allowed you to do that because "it was a pain/difficult to lower them back down" so they just REMOVED THAT OPTION.

the "guide book" for the home is CLEARLY outdated because it HAS THE WRONG INFORMATION FOR HOW TO GET IN THE HOUSE AND UNLOCK/LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR.

and we've only been here since last weds.

i'm wearing an n95 mask sitting in this bedroom because with my HEPA filter going, the room's wall heater turned off (bc that shit looks rank), and febreze odor eliminator sprayed REPEATEDLY in here after dousing the room in lysol upon arrival, the smell of mold is hurting my fucking lungs.

i literally want to strangle the ppl who think this home is in ANY WAY remotely fucking livable--and also, REMOTELY WORTH THE HELLISH AMOUNT OF MONEY WE HAD TO SPEND ON IT.

[lemonlover1110]

Hello! I hope you are doing well 😌 you are my fav writer and I just wanted to to throw out this crazy brainrot request to u bc I am SICK over it

So Florence nightingale syndrome right? Toji is like a professional boxer or whatever something athletic bc he's a fucking beast and he gets hurt, like his leg or something, and you become his at home occupational therapist. So you're like taking care of him and he's getting feelings for you while also being a stubborn ass bc u push him constantly so he can get better. and he's super hesitant to accept his feelings bc he's a Playboy of course.

I'm just picturing this one scene where you're helping him up and he's leaning on you and he says something like "are you sure you can handle me princess?" Idk I'm insane I'm sorry 😭😭😭😭

Pairing: boxer!Toji Fushiguro x f!caregiver!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, frustrated Toji, Florence nightingale syndrome, Toji has an injured leg and is a little bitch for a bit

*This was so fun to work on and now I'm having thinking a little too hard about boxer toji (I'm ovulating) sofjsof enjoy!

Discord 18+ - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji never really thought he’d be dependent on someone, yet now he can’t even take a shower standing up. After an unlucky boxing match, Toji ended up in a cast and crutches. That’s what he gets for not listening to his son who told him it was around time to retire.

“I’m not a fucking skeleton, I’m good in my field. I can do this for a couple more years.” How he wishes he could swallow his fucking words. He thought that after getting the cast off he’d go back to normal, and he’d have no issue with mobility. He shouldn’t have an issue moving his fucking leg again, he’s been moving it for more than thirty years, why should three months of not moving it change much?

Apparently he can’t do anything, which is why he has someone with him all day every day, helping him so he can get better. Toji’s main issue? He gets frustrated when someone tries to help him. 

“Be careful, it’s hot.” You smile at him as you put his dinner in front of him. He has a scowl on his face as you set it down in front of him. He tried to help make dinner but he couldn’t stand for too long. He’s mad, but not at you. He could never be mad at you. 

Toji wasn’t necessarily fond of you when you started working with him; he hates being dependent on someone else, and he knew that he would have to depend on you for pretty much everything. You try to help him though, and he should be more appreciative of you because of it, but in reality he feels like a fucking baby. He’s grown to like you though… A little too much for his liking. 

You leave him to eat, going to wash the dishes since he can’t do the task yet. Perhaps his own bowl and spoon, but not everything that needs to be cleaned. You watch him from the counter, watching his refusal to pick up the spoon and eat the soup you made him. Earlier he was so prideful, telling you that he would help you every step of the way during dinner, and he couldn’t even finish one third of it. You were proud of him regardless.

“It’s really good, Toji! The potatoes you helped peel really added a touch to it.” You’ve gotten close enough to be on a first name basis. You see each other every day, you stay in the same house, of course you’re close enough to talk to each other so casually. It doesn’t mean you should though. You’ve always managed to keep a very professional relationship with patients, but there’s just something about him that makes it hard for you to be normal around him.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking kid.” He says, pushing the bowl of soup away. He’s not hungry anymore. Toji stands up, his hands holding on to the table to support himself before grabbing his crutches. 

“Toji, if you’re not eating it, can you try to bring it over to me, please?” You ask. You know the soup has cooled down, if he spills it, he’ll be fine.

“If you want it, pick it up yourself.” Toji is clearly mad. You don’t take it to heart though, because you know it’s with himself and not you. 

“How about we go to the park tomorrow? It’s supposed to be a nice day out.” You talk to Toji who tries to watch a documentary. He’s not all that interested in what he put on, caring more about what you have to say. He might not show it, and he tries to deny it, but he has the biggest soft spot for you. “We can also get some ice cream, if you’re in the mood!”

“Hey… I’m sorry about earlier. I was just—” It’s hard to get an apology out of him, but sometimes he knows he’s in the wrong and he feels the need to apologize. He doesn’t want you to be mad at him, even though you’re clearly not upset with him. You’re so understanding and patient with him, he feels like he doesn’t deserve that.

“You’re fine, Toji.” You reassure him with a smile, your hand going over his balled up fist. You feel your heart skip a beat as you touch him. You’ve crossed the line past a professional relationship, and you should set some boundaries within yourself– But his other hand goes on top of your own before he brings it up, softly kissing your knuckles. It’s hard to set boundaries when he feels the same way.

“I’m tired.” He tells you, and you stand up to help him get up. Toji usually denies your help, but this time, he has no problem accepting it. You just want the best for him, and there’s some things that he can’t do completely alone. He has to take baby steps. He’s using you for support, and he’s scared that he’s too heavy for you. He asks you, “Are you sure, princess? Can you handle me? I know I’m pretty big.”

“You’re fine. I can handle you.” You reassure him, and you begin to walk to his bedroom. His room was previously on the second floor, but ever since his injury, he’s moved his bedroom to the first floor. You get him to his bedroom, helping him on the bed. You smile at him before saying, “Let me grab your crutches. You left them in the living room, right?”

Before you can walk away, he grabs your sleeve. Toji’s slowly realizing that he can’t fight off the feelings that consume him when you help him, and he’s usually not a fan of them. Toji’s been tied down once before, he certainly doesn’t want that again. But with you, it’s different. He doesn’t mind the idea.

“Will you lay down with me?” He asks, and you suck in your bottom lip between your teeth. You shouldn’t. He caresses your cheek with the back of his hand before he prompts himself up to kiss the corner of your mouth.

“Toji, you know this isn’t something I can do.” You tell him as he looks lovingly into your eyes. “I’m here to help you get better.”

“You can help me get better by laying down next to me.” Toji responds. You grab the hand that so lovingly touches your cheek and kiss it, before bringing your lips down to meet his momentarily. He swears he hears fireworks when your lips meet, even after you pull away.

He’s most definitely in love with you.

“I’ll go get your crutches. Good night, Toji.”

[esinahkabanjo]

👁〰️👁

[danaduchy]

all texts from Kerry

Found Henry Holy shit, Henry's on board. Way to go! Check outta rehab of his own free will… thru the window, hehe. Some nurse tried to stop us - at first I thought she wanted an autograph, but she didnt even recognize me. Tell you the rest later How's it going with Nancy? S'all under control That's what I like to hear

Samurai's back together What about Johnny? He amped for this gig or meh? * As amped as he's ever been. Must be important to him cuz otherwise I wouldnt be forced to take this stupid pseudoendotrizine * Hard to say. You know how he is Well I'm amped as fuck, if anyone's wonderin. It'll be fuckin shimra - just gotta remember not to get too wasted before. Old habits die hard, haha

Waiting for you Kerry? Where are you? On the way. Chill. Gotta change

What's up, V? Too bad you split so quick after the concert - we didn't even get a chance to chat I barely know anything about you, except you've got a shit-ton goin on inside You're the one who left early That so? Hm, maybe. Anyway, it was fuckin nova, wasn't it? Shoulda recorded it for you cause you didn't catch anything thru Johnny

Hey! Heey. So I cant stop thinkin about our little adventure. FUCKIN AWESOME. Thats how you live life. ON THE EDGE :> * Who doesnt like explosions and races right? :) Lemme know if the rest of your plan worked out Sure, I'll text or call ;) If I can't convince you to blow up anythin else, then at least we can go for a drink. Take care! * Egh, day just like any other. Hope it helped you tho Pff, sound more nonchalant than a karaoke star from kabuki ;) I'll be in touch

Coffee at Caliente Know what? I'm glad we got a chance to talk over coffee. You're a straight shooter, V. Nothing like the ass-kissers I'm usually surrounded by. It's good we did what we did, right? Blowing that van to bits? Cuz I been thinking… * To be honest, got no clue if anything good will come of it. I agreed cuz you paid me. Honest as ever, huh? Means I was right about you. Appreciate that, V. I really do. Don't ever change. * It was the right thing to do. And you've got nitro running through your veins. Don't you ever let yourself think otherwise! Nitro in my veins? Yeah, and a fuse sticking out of my ass. Least that's what I felt back then. Was worth it, though - slept like a fucking baby for the first time in ages. Talk to you later. Thanks again!

Reward Hey, forgot to send the eddies before, but should hit your account any sec. PREEM WORK :>

Where are you? Well, where are you? At this rate I'm gonna be a fuckin skeleton by the time you get here.. Move your ass or forget about this whole thing Dunno where you are or what you're up to, but I'm a busy fuckin man. Forget about it - don't have time for this shit Srsly, V? Ditched me with the badges and split? Shitty move. We're fuckin THROUGH Where the fuck are you? Grrr doesnt matter. I'm checkin out, goin home. Call ya if somethin comes up

answer yr phone!!! Hey, V. Got a job for you. Corner of Grey and Mallagra. Be there first thing in the morning, we'll talk it over. I'm fucking livid, V! Those Us Cracks bitches clearly didn't get the hint. Instead of cancelling after we blew up their truck, they just moved their show to another date! Meet me at Riot ASAP. We'll deal with them differently this time. The Us Skanks still wanna fuck me over and record the cover, V! On top of that, their lawyers won't stop yappin'. We really need to talk. I'm at Dark Matter right now. Come 'round the back, the bouncers will let you in. It's easier to reach my dead grandma than you, V! Anyway, Us Cracks are done, for real this time. We should celebrate! Stop by Dark Matter. Use the back entrance.

What's up? Hey, hows it going? Ownin the streets of NC? * More like tryna survive. Let's just say the city and I are even Sweet. What's that? What's up with me? Nice of you to ask. Hammerin out some sick tunes. Ok, more like trying to hammer out. Keep your fingers crossed * Hey hey, you could say that. Lotta stuffs been happenin - even without you! :O Yeah yeah, whatever! I'm stringin together some fresh tunes… OK, more like thinking about some fresh tunes. Keep your fingers crossed

Missed holocall! V! Whatever you're doing right now - drop it and come see me at the Marina. Pier four.

Scratch that! Spoke too soon Slight change of plans - waitin on an important delivery and the fuckin gonk's late. Be at the marina at 7pm!

Kova-chek this out :D Kovachek went ballistic when he found out the yacht went up in smoke! Even went back on those pills that turn him into you know, whatever the opposite of a cyberpsycho is. More goo than a man haha this is greaaaaat! * Ouch. Musta sunk a lotta eddies into that float! :P Speakin of dickheads tho - turns out he stashed a ton of drugs on board! Like, two yachts' worth. And we sent aaaall of that to the bottom of the sea :D Bay's full of fish high off their fins now! * Literally zero living organisms in that bay, Ker. Yeah duh they they took their happy fishy asses down to the spaceport and went to la la land. Anyway tellin ya whenever I'm down, I think about our seaventure and it's like insta good feels :* * Wow. What now? Feel like blowing more of his shit up. Think he's got a luxury crib somewhere in the Rockies… Something to think about… :P FUCK NO! I GOT IT! We make a Kovachek voodoo doll! Can't wait to stab that prick right in the dick :D * I really don't care about that dick, Kerry. Fine OK. As long as you care about MY dick, that is :P

Hey :* Heeey, how's it hanging? Everything all right? I'll just come right out and say it - I miss you. Just a little bit though ;) You coming by anytime soon? * Miss you too, if you can believe that. See? We're tuned to the same frequency. I'll try to swing by sometime. Preem. I'll be waiting! * Hey! Well well, look who's suddenly spilling their guts out :P Dunno when I can drop by though :/ Sad face :( But fine - I know the world doesn't revolve around me. It sucks, but that's the way it is. Take care! * Been thinking about you… Thinking about you too. You're like some chorus to this incredible song that's been stuck in my head lately. On loop :) * What's new? Still conquering the world with music? Planning to! :) don't really know if there's anything left to conquer though. You're already mine, right? (I know, I knooooow, it's cringe. But I couldn't hold myself back!) Latest song I wrote - read it and weep. Wrote it while thinking of you: "Where you whisper, open up your heart / Reveal the place where I once had a heart" Whaddaya think? * I like it. It's gentle, but still has a bite. And knowing you, probably has multiple meanings ;) Exactly! I knew you'd get it :*** * Hmm, you were thinking about me when you wrote that? Dunno if that's good or bad :< it's up to you - that's the whole point! :* * Got a bunch of things on my plate right now. Times are tough. Oh, OK, cool. Do what you gotta do. We'll talk later, no prob.

Serious business Check it out, V. Got this email from a lifelong fan. It's serious. Gotta write her back. Dear Mr. Eurodyne, the day we both have been waiting for is finally upon us! I got rid of my husband, my house and all the other remnants of my former life. Now, I'm truly ready to give you my heart and all my other organs, should you desire them. You are the Sun and I am the Moon - I live to bask in your radiant brilliance. I love you, Mr. Eurodyne, and eagerly anticipate the time we'll finally be together. We will meet soon - I'm sure you know exactly where." She also sent me a gift card to a junk shop in Providence, wherever the fuck that is. It's clear she's nuts, just not sure if it's the murder-suicide variety. She writes me same day every year, like clockwork. What if she dissolved her man in a vat of acid, burned down her house and now she's sharpening her sickle cuz I'm next!? What are we gonna do, V??? * You really worried about her? More importantly: Kerry Eurodyne actually reads fan mail? Adorable. Yeah, yeah, Kovachek usually deals with all that shit. Even signs photos and sends them to the fans. But the fucker always forwards stuff from this crazy broad. Gets his rocks off fuckin with my blood pressure. Anyway, thought you might get a kick out if it. Seriously though, I should probably do something. Don't want her to knock on my bedroom door a year from now. * What, your first psycho groupie? Unbelievable :D Don't worry about it. We'll deal with her. Fuckin preem. What should I do, V? Ideas?? * Call the Providence PD. Let them scare her off? Or better yet, put her in a straitjacket? Boooring! 'Sides, cops mean lawyers and I hate dealing with them even more than I hate Kovachek's guts. No worries, I'll think of something else.You're in charge here. * Why not have a bit of fun? Write her back, give her Kovachek's address and say you'll be waiting for her there exactly one year from now :P Hahahaha you beautiful fucking GENIUS! Think I'll do exactly that. He'll shit himself when he sees her! We'll set up a camera and film it, too. Can't wait!Not worth your time. * She probably thinks she's pregnant with Lizzy Wizzy's love child, too. Check if the store has a netpage, see if they ship to NC and get yourself something nice! Smart! I'll see if they have anything worth my while. Get myself a studded choker. Or one of them Russian stacky doll-in-a-doll-in-a-doll things. Thanks, V! Later

Truth or Dare! I'm boooooooored, V. Let's play Truth or Dare! :D * Really don't have time for this, Ker. Cmon, don't be like that. TRUTH or DARE??? * Fuck it. Dare. OK, here it goes. Hope I got your full attention! OKOK here's your dare: "Survive one year with a rockstar" :D * Cheeky ;) Guess I can give it a try ;) * Don't know if I have time for that, Kerry. * Truth! Got nothing to hide. Here it goes: "After a little good morning sex, what I really want is…" * Coffee and cigarettes. Glass of whiskey if I need a little hair of the dog…

* Scrambled eggs. Clearly.

Puzzle by yrs truly V! Made one of them picture riddles for you, V! Wanna see it? :D Fuck yeah you do! Heeeere goes! …69 <3 * Not right now, Kerry. Got some other things on my mind… No worries. Listen, we all have days like this. Thinking of you here with my little puzzle, hope that helps :* * Really, Ker? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. Yeah, yeah, just warming up! Okay, get ready for round two! |$| >< #o.O# ;( * Kerry slapped the shit out of Kovachek! * Rockstars are the best spankers! Sorry, all you get is a kiss :* * My man is shit at puzzles :* You got it, you shrewd beast :D Congrats! Your reward - a Kerry Eurodyne sextape! Now all that's left is to shoot it :P I'll send you something sweet <3

Personality test You're not gonna believe this, V. I took one of those personality tests and apparently, I'm a NARCISSIST! Can you believe that shit?? * You, a narcissist? That can't be right. I know, right? Good thing you're smart about these things. You're so sweet, babe :* * Might be some truth to it if I'm REAL honest :) You do… tend to be an arrogant snob. Not to mention your ego's the size of a small planet :* Haha took the test again and now it says I'm a sociopath! Told you it's all bullshit! Told you I'm not a narcissist! Honestly you should listen to me, I'm smarter than whatever "scientist" came up with this shit!

Ah V fuuuck worlds biggest hangover, shakes and willies. Need a kind soul to tell me I'll come out the other side OK :-/ my age be damned ;-| * Textin ya from Dtown, 'hood's the very embodiment of shakes and willies * Got a gig, mebbe not worlds biggest but mondo anyway. This is me needin assurance I'll come out the other end in 1 piece Ever in the thick of shit, eh? It's where your&Johnny's minds meet, both uber vibe on it. JS better be fuckin happy - is he? * Need better candy to pop at raves, physio venting helps, mutes nerves, you'll stride strong, won't bother us workin peeps! Srsly V - soundin like you need time off, ad hoc vacay. U know, throw the monkey off your back, dunno, air your skull sponge. * Could be, just not now Handlin ginormous gig in Dogtown. Elbow deep in it, serious as a heart attack. * That an invite….? ;> Dunno, maybe…? My door's wiiiiiiide open, always ;> * Got this biz I gotta tend to first, one way or another… Oh ok mystery man - you do you. gotta say, findin this diss kinda titillating. Is it the masochist in me? tension's… ooooh, got my mouth watering. * Right, I know. One of these days - surprise! You'll see, be at your front door. Only if I'm home, obvi. You're textin a raucous, go-get-'em busy man… * OOO-K. So get lost, find a release. * Hmm, you're temptin me to call. Will do, given time. Do do do, plz. I'll be waitin <3

OK then I'll play support - we're all gonna all right, better'n all right - golden Which is DEF NOT me now - after a fuckin weird-ass 48 hrs, and this is me talkin…! just straaange… like unbelievably so Ahem, got stories to tell, solid gold * well, yeah, might find it a lil hard to believe… welp, hope you're whole and fine and happy. If you are, suck it. Dissin somebody like this - not nova, choom, supra unpreem * OK spill So dig this - meet-up w the enemy, competing publishing bitchez. Top dogz, bubbly flowin, rails vanishing up noses - all in back of a stretch cuz they out to impress my ass with their asses. Kinda sad, really. Gotta give 'em an e for effort, tho - they say: choom, got a mountain o' eddies for ya. N I say, really - where from? N they say, our mountain's a volcano, it'll spew scratch like lava… Hm i say, how's that? N they say, Zetatech product placement - next tour, choom so I says let's go - Zetatech now! they practically jizz. Zetatech HQ I get out, drop my pants and moon eveybody lookin out the windows of the building while I give the bitchez in the limo the finger at the same time. N i called Delamain.\nDel and me, we rollin, talkin anti-iperialism - any sense in it given the state of the world? Know what? we actually come to a conclusion - that nuthin makes sense anymore. So we go on rollin, and go on talkin and drinnk myself into grief. 18 hours later Del dropped me by my crib. He wished me GOOD LUCK IN THIS WORLD. choom was deep depressed, so much so he gave me a discount * Could've happened to Kerry and Kerry alone, that Plain to see, admit it, I just might be the king of NC's nightlife * vive le roi! and may the consort bask in his light ;> xoxo * hm, yeah, no titles more important than that… BETTER FUCKIN BELIEVE IT. * Oooh could go for a convo about life's futility. But DT takes no prisoners forgives no mistakes - need to focus. salty! somebody's in a m0000d * well, just don't see your parties and hangovers as overly important to me just now, if ever * yeah, sorry, just this gig, shitstorm, tense, lots to handle OK I get it, all crystal. Need a lil cheerin up or just leave you the fuck alone? * may be better off just leavin me alone, I'll ping you later, OK? say no more, luv ya and dreamin daily about your sweet tush <3 Eurodyne out * cheerin up, plz :) OK catch: How ya get a bass player to have that gleam in his eye? Shine a flashlight in his ear. That help any? * yup, did wonders :D thx raise you on the holo later, 'kay? * hm, not great, but I won't hold it against you. cute of you to try ok, so here's somethin to keep you warm at night in the meantime, you sweet precious thing <3

You doing anything? Yo, why haven't you shot me a message or nothin? I'm sitting over here like a dumbass waitin for my phone to start buzzin… * Sorry, Ker! You know how it is, life and shit… I know I know, didn't mean to be a total prick * I was just about to text you! Uh huh… suuuure… * You coulda shot me one too, y'know :P The fuck do you think I'm doin right now?!? So listen, how busy are ya? Gotta admit, I'm gettin the itch real bad. Like, a good itch, to see you I mean. * Sounds great! My megabuilding pad maybe? A megabuilding, huh? I mean, sure, guess that'll work… * Then I'll be waitin for ya at my Northside apartment :) Preem. Then I'll get there when I get there. * Let's meet up in Japantown. Just a hop and a skip for you ;) Perfect! * Can you drive over to the Glen? Love to see you too <3 I can do whatever the fuck I want. * Whaddaya say to a little date downtown? My Corpo Plaza place? Ohhh baby, my ass is already out the door! * I'm free! Wanna swing by Dogtown? You outta your mind? No fucking way! Either we meet in NC proper or I ain't goin out. Don't forget to tidy up a bit, yeah? ;)

Goooood morning, Night City! And you, V! Listen, I'm bored outta my mind. Wanna be bored together at least? You asleep? :P Oh, what's that? You want me to come over? Sure! You're one hot piece of ass, you know that right? You were in my dream last night. A good one. Don't worry, I ain't mad at dream V or nothin - in fact I wanna meet up! I hit a creative block, need some inspiration. I need you. I'm coming over. * Sounds good :) Megabuilding apartment then. Hope you remember which one's mine! On my way! * Genius idea from a genius himself. I'll be waitin for ya in Northside <3 Guess this means I have to change outta my bathrobe. The sacrifices we make! * Japantown. Now. :P Preem! Callin a Delamain right now! * Missed you too. Come to the Glen :) * Sounds like it's time for a trip downtown. My Corpo Plaza pad to be exact * Swing by Dogtown, I'll show you my fixer-upper :P Over my cold, dead, bullet-riddled body! The fuck you even doing there?! Get back to civilization, V! * haha XD so, right now's not good, but don't worry - I'll be thinkin of ya ;) Oh so that's how you wanna play this… nah, just messin, V. wink, wink. I'll catch ya another time!

I like you, V. Thought I owed you a little reminder of that. And hey, not to impose or nothin, but if you wanna spend some more time together, don't be such a coward about it, y'know? Hit me up!! * I like you too, Kerry. I'll let ya know :) Ain't we an adorable fuckin pair of sweethearts! Ha! * No imposing. I'd love to see you again soon too ;) Careful with those boundaries now, V. Let em down too far and I might just move right in! * Course! Soon as I find some time, you'll be the first to know! You honor me, sir! Hang tough out there, V. And remember - don't do anything I wouldn't do!

Hey, Ker! Life's been feelin a lil empty without ya… wanna meet up? So, wanna see me again? Fuck yeah! Your place ok? Heeey! I do, I do! Just… can't right now. Schedule's crammed. But I'll be in touch real soon!

I fucking love surprises! Yo, V, this is a nice ride! Seems like whenever you're on my mind all I can think about is rides ;) * Yeah I know ;) * I love surprising you :) As crazy as my life is, without you it'd be boring as hell <3 Thanks for the flowers! Thank christ they're artificial cuz I'm allergic to pollen. Sneezing, goopy eyes, the whole fuckin thing. Also… "Feedback"? What? Did we hook up at one of my concerts? Honestly I can't remember. * Totally. Speaker feedback fused our audio systems somehow. Made the sex interesting at least. Whaaa, well whatever, I don't need the whole sciency mumbo jumbo :D * You kiddin? How could you forget! Man, what the fuck was I on that night…

Won't see me for a while Gonna need to vanish for a while maybe a month or so. Hope you didn't have any romantic escapades planned and all set up :P Nooo :( Who'm I gonna take to the N54 rave then? :((( * Shiiiit mean to say I'm gonna miss an N54 party? Wanted to surprise you… Real fucking shame :/ I know ;( We'll crash multiple raves when I'm back in town tho :) Promise! * Take someone else feel free but just this once. Long as you promise - no hand holdin' no indecent stuff no INTIMACY mental neither :P Oh please faithful's my middle name :* Fuck really wish you could make it Make it up to you 100%

Long time no see :] There's this merc I know and haven't seen for a while… oh yeah it's you! :D C'mon pick up gotta tell you how wasted me and Slavoy McAllister got at this N54 rave xD Think we might've burnt down half the studio… by accident ofc XDD Hey, V? Pick up, choom Still can't top you 'n' me as a wrecking crew ;) Fuck, you ok? Pick up dammit not funny V 13 missed calls from: Kerry Eurodyne

You ghosting me? Fuck, pick up! Really?! Can't even bother to send ONE word?! Just gonna pretend like nothin happened, huh? COWARD

[seattlesea]

Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (part five)

Nine: God the smell in here is making me want to die John: Then go outside Five: Then die --- Maggie, writing a book: Can your breathing get cut off if there's a heavy weight on your chest? Adam: Yeah Maggie: Cool Adam: That's how they killed people in the old days, by stacking a bunch of rocks on their chest and suffocating them Maggie: Okay a 'Yes' would've been fine --- John: Finish your food Nine: I'm going to go home and take the fattest shit you've ever seen do not make me eat more --- Eight: I'm psychic, I can see into people's futures. I see in your near future that you're going to get sick Eight: *coughs in Nine's face* --- Adam: Did you eat? Maggie: Yeah. A strawberry Adam: That's it? Maggie: Two strawberries --- Six and John: *talking about spirit animals* Six: You'd be a swan John: Because I'm so graceful? Six: No cause you're white --- Sam: I was actually really good at orchestra in school, I was first chair on the cello Six: *puts her hand to her chest and gasps* Oh my god! Sam: What? Six, sarcastically: What a cool story! --- Six and Marina: *having a normal adult conversation* Eight: My black olive just rolled across my laptop --- Nine: Dirty mother... John: *giving him a dirty look with Ella next to him* Nine:...Of...Jesus --- One: Hey what're you gonna be for Halloween? Adam: I dunno yet what about you? One: I was thinking of being a witch Adam: Oh that's cool One: Yeah maybe you can be my broomstick so I can ride you all night Adam: WHAT- One: What, is that bad? Would you rather I be a pirate and you be a sword so I can stick you in me? Adam: *screaming* --- Ella: *touches a gross blanket* Ew Marina: What? Ella: It's giving me the ick Marina: The what? Ella: I'm acoustic --- Six: Bitch, I do NOT lift to be called a lipstick lesbian --- Five: *staring at a candle* Eight: What are you doing? Five: Trying to light myself on fire with my mind --- Nine, in public loud as hell: Yeah I'd fuck young Elvis Strangers passing by: *giving him grossed-out looks* Nine: What? You would too Nine, muttering: Prudes --- Sam: Look at my skeleton animal collection. I can a bat, I got a rat, and I got a cat Hannu, sadly: But no hats --- John: *celebrating his birthday and opening gifts* Five, silently crying: *places a couple wadded-up singles in front of John* That's all I got --- Six: You know it would've been easier if you just took the highway Marina: But...the trees... --- Adam: I'm gay John after taking Adam to a Fall Out Boy concert and watching him sit on the floor with three empty couches: Cool --- One and Six: *Talking about the ped@ at their job* Six: He's the reason there's an 18+ age limit --- Five: Despite popular belief, I will be going to Heaven because Satan will be jealous someone has a fatter ass than him --- Sam teaching the Lorics to make cereal: Okay first gather your things Lorics: :) Sam: Then, you put in your milk Daniela: Huh? Lorics: :) Sam: Next, you add your cereal Daniela: Hell no Lorics: :) Sam: Then drizzle in your honey Daniela: Bro WHAT Lorics: :) Sam: And finally, put it in the microwave Daniela: WHAT THE FUCK Lorics: :) Sam: And then you have cereal Lorics: Yay Daniela: I'm going to kill you --- Marina: So what is credit score? Sam: *ten minute explanation of credit score, payments, debt, and loans with examples* Marina:... Sarah: The loophole so the bank can't lend poor people money to stop being poor Marina: Ohhhh --- Nine: Damn, dude, I really don't know anything about you. I only know like your favorite color and animal, the music you listen to, your favorite movies, how you dress, your favorite coffee flavor, your personality, your deepest fear, your address, your entire backstory, all the people you like and hate, and your habit of needing to use a straw with every single drink or it doesn't 'taste right' John:... --- Eight: Damn I'm thirsty Adam: Then go drink water Eight: I can't, I'm fasting Adam:...Well I think you're supposed to drink water if you're running around all the time Eight:...

[throwmeabonepleaseandthankyou]

Saw from another ask ya fine with being spammed, LETS GO (^o^)/

An ask for UT!, US!, UF!, HT! and FSP! this time (*ゝω･*)

Reaction them leaving the room while S/O and sibling and coming back later to see them arguing and wrestling

Its not serious and very lighthearted, so it is a very funny sight to see them cursing at one another (　-∀・)

Bro just described my whole childhood in a couple words

Also, sorry for taking so long to write anything, I keep getting sick💀

Sans : The sound of you two falling off the couch is what woke him up, followed by laughing and rolling around. He's just squinting at you both, still trying to blink himself awake.

Papyrus : He leaves you alone for TWO SECONDS and you're already causing chaos. You troublesome creature, he uses blue magic to lift you both back onto the couch and sit down. Dinner will be done soon, now quit being fussy and watch MTT until he's done.

Cobalt : He doesn't acknowledge it. If he ignores it, it'll eventually stop... but that only lasts so long until someone throws a pillow at him. Honey comes home to feathers all over the living room and you three have an all out war. He'll be at Asgore's place when y'all get to your senses.

Honey : Just don't try to mess with him and you're good. Why? Because this snoring lad had to grow up with ruthless Snowdin kids that liked to have snowball fights and wrestling matches behind Muffet's(then being Mrs & Mr Poppet's). Though, he wouldn't try anything too extreme, just blanket burritos until you stop screaming.

Red : He just wanted to grab some mustard, what the fuck is going on. He almost pulled you both apart until he heard giggling in-between half-asses insults, then he just took up the rest of the room on the couch and watched you both.

Edge : This is fine. He watches both of you, amused by your pathetic little puppy fight. If things look like they're calming down, he says something that gets y'all stirred up again.

Oak : What... he just stares, confused. What are you two doing?? He lifts you up from your sibling, leaving you dangling and looking at both of you confused. When, and if, you explain what's going on, he just puts you back down to continue wrestling. Go ahead, he ain't gonna stop you.

Willow : He pulled you both apart, holding you guys in the air and scolding you like someone would their kitten. Sorry guys, but Willow is old and tired, he doesn't want to listen to you both argue. If you want to wrestle, there's a whole front yard/farm you can both play in.

Nox : He from time-to-time will nudge one of you with his foot if he feels you're getting to close to where he's sitting, but overall doesn't interfere. He thinks you both are funny. You could be a little bit more quiet though.

Rus : Ehhhh, yeah no. He plops onto both of you, trapping you under him. Rus looks light but he's a tall skeleton wearing a heavy coat, so he weighs you both down well enough.

[ghostiedreamsz]

Singular Morsel

“Why is One Piece over 1000 episodes” if I was a pirate on an epic journey across the seas to find this pirate legend’s treasure and along the way liberated islands and pledged peace and freedom across the world while getting sick ass mugshots running from the Navy with the best of my friends, of which include a sick swordsman who pledged their dying allegiance to me, a cute redhead who could kick my ass, a genuinely talented chef who’s just tagging along to find himself a mythical five star restaurant (and women), an epic storyteller with a wonderful personality (yes this is Usopp), and a skeleton who could fucking shred I TOO WOULD NEVER WANT MY SERIES TO END

[acheronist]

ok its after 8pm time for my nightly gladman point skeleton posting power hour. welcome to speculation city

june 1845 - sept 1845, henry making idle notes about how the expedition's going because well. yes. of course

1846 - henry gets really into bullet journaling in the first winter wherein the ships are docked in devon harbor/beechey island. also it's cold as fuck and he's starting to realize it's gonna be cold as fuck for a long while yet, and after recently rekindling a relationship Of Some Kind with tom armitage, he starts getting nostalgic about partying in venezuela when he was 23 which is funny because on one hand we have very hard ground to heave on the morrow (gravedigging, hauling to the cairn, etc) but also omgggg do you remember stuart the shipcat he was the best. that party ruled does anyone else remember how fun that nye party was!!!

april 1847 - after months of teaching his good friend tom armitage his letters (finally), tom manages to get a parody flirty smutty version of barry cornwall's 'the sea' written down after henry had recited it aloud from memory and henry is so proud about how quickly tom's taken to writing after 40 something years of adamantly refusing to learn, that he keeps the page in his wallet

june 1847 - sir john dies and henry decides to take some asides about the funeral speech, presumably under the impression that they'd get home again at some point and he could decipher it and make it presentable later. officers do seem to be dropping quite quickly though and the inclination that things might not be working out excellently starts around here.

july thru dec 1847 - the terror camp in cape felix is established and henry overhears calls that camp is clear over and over and over enough times that he thinks its worth writing down while doing his silly spiral doodles to pass the time in the evenings

spring 1848 - the crews abandon the ships for real this time and the fear that he's not getting out of the arctic alive starts to feel more and more real each day, and in a vague attempt to keep himself from being lost and forgotten to history, he writes down a frantic account of his navy career in his cleanest neatest most legible handwriting possible. for future searchers to be able to read. also, messages get passed between erebus camp and terror camp and the men are inventing fake addresses for the letters between camps for...... whimsy? missing london society? i dont know

end of 1848 - the Unwellnesses and the Agonies are really settling in amongst the whole crew but hey. at least he still has the brain power for poems written backwards.

early 1849 - powering thru this dismal ass expedition's survival attempts based on absolutely nothing but the desperate nostalgia of being young and sexy and warm. thank goodness tom armitage is still here to help him remember specific details about the clubs in the caribbean. and we are simply too tired to continue the backwards code, but no one's pawing through his personals anyways, it hardly matters

mid to late 1849 - henry dies from [REDACTED] and tom armitage takes it upon himself to carry henry's wallet and pages forward south with the expedition because it would be impossible to carry his actual physical corpse with them because everyone else, himself included, are too weak and sick for such a thing. theyve been leaving their dead behind since they were at beechey, what makes henry's remains so special and different? the survivors keep heading south along the coastline of king william island

spring 1850 - the expedition, lead by aglooka, camp briefly nearby some inuit families. they stay in one place for quite a while, and tom armitage decides they're so fucking cooked and never getting off this island. he doesn't have the supplies or means to write anything to add to the wallet, so he does his best at identifying himself by getting dressed in his steward uniform, some things that were relevant to being a steward, henry's wallet, henry's shirt with the ink stains on the cuff, and walks off to the ocean shoreline until he drops dead and falls face down with the wallet underneath his chest to keep it safe from the arctic elements

1859 - mcclintock's search party stumbles across his skeleton on accident while looking for a cairn and go WHOAAAAA ITS A SKELETON and lift the steward tools + henry's wallet out from his ribs and take them back to england to be archived

1973 - the 1st battalion rcr goes back to doublecheck mcclintock's notes and go WHOAAAAA ITS A SKELETON and lay what remains of tom out on a plywood board from a hardware store and snap some pics. then they pack him up and mail his bones to the national museum of man & then the museum loses his bones

2018 - amc gives this storyline to a 26 year old from the opposite ship who had no prior history with henry for some reason and also demotes it to a sub-sub-plot. i dont know. smashing my head through a wall.

2022 - doug stenton shows up and says hey ummmm should we be more concerned about the fact that the entire fucking skeleton went missing. let me do some research i guess

2024 - i show up and start connecting the dots while working on the facsimile project of the papers. henry's fate still unknown. tom's bones still missing in action. the actual papers hidden behind an unbearably steep paywall thats gonna take me a decade to afford. facsimile project kind of overshadowed by jfj cannibalism confirmation on the same day. i keep being crazed on my blog anyways.

ok yay

[femconstellation]

As an artist, I am so fucking sick of how every little irl posing doll or online skeleton ref/"gender neutral" base is just straight up based on the male body

It always has male sized ribs/torso, hips, just male sized bones, and even just straight-up only the male pubic bone when it comes to skeletons

I can get not adding boobs to these "gender"(sex) neutral bases since those are female specific anatomy, only women naturally have them, but these "gender neutral " refs are always just portionally male, never a mix of the two, just male. I hate how male-centric the supposed "gender neutral" bases/tutorials/irl modles/anatomy break downs to the skeletal level/etcetera are

And when I do seek out female based references and irl model dolls? The portions are exaggerated (specifically in the waist, rear, and often times but nearly as much, breast) in a way the male/"gender neutral" refs/dolls are not

I just want some normal easy/offline/irl references I can use in jiffy for both sexes and also some for just women, but I just... can't find anything

I hate how quietly male-centric the art community is

This is SO REAL. I havent drawn in a while, but when I would look for refs that weren’t curvy women with exaggerated features, the only ‘gender neutral’ ones are literally just men 😭😭😭 I’m glad it isn’t just me that struggled with this like I’m sure decent refs are out there but damn

Also. Not exactly the same but in the same zone:

I think it is crazy how so many artists are able to draw men looking completely normal. But when they draw women, she has huge thighs, ass, and boobs and a tiny waist. And this is often female artists doing it too!!! Like what are we doingggg 😭😭 My ex friend would draw a man completely normal and then make the woman a ‘thicc big-titty waifu’ (actual words they’d use) like 💀

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

20: He's Bouncing on my Booty Cheeks, I Love the Way He Rides

A/N: Ignore the chapter title.

♪────✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

ONCE AGAIN, YOU STUMBLE ASS BACKWARDS INTO VICTORY!!!!

You stretch dramatically in the middle of the living room, a happy smile on your face after a week of being in fucking misery.

That’s right, cucks. You’re no longer sick! You felt it start to go away a few days ago, but this morning you felt absolutely perfect!

Sure, there’s your bad back pain, but that’s just par for the course! You think Papyrus had already left this morning considering that A: it’s 10 in the morning and his pattern for the past week told you that 8 out of 10 times he’s already out of the house at this time. And B: It’s strangely quiet, the faint trousle of bones is no longer in the house.

Shame.

You already showered and now you’re dressed and ready to go. Since you don’t want to get sick again like a little bitch, you went with something to fit the theme. A deep purple turtleneck and a black coat on top, simple jeans, and your loyal boots. It ain’t much, but it’s honest work. That being said, you wish you had something a little more cunty that also kept you warm…

You feel like chewing gum…

Anyway, you walk up the stairs and head to Sans’ forbidden zone: aka his room. You don’t know if Sans is awake or even in his room at all. You’re going to ask if he wants to go with you (if he’s even there), if not then you’ll just have to fly solo. You’d rather not deal with monsters trying to fight you, but momma didn’t raise no bitch.

Knock Knock Knock.

You’re busy thinking about how long you should wait until you knock again when the skeleton’s voice unexpectedly comes out the other side.

“who’s there?”

You snort, “Uh…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Interrupting cow.”

“…”

“…”

“…interrupting co-”

“-Moooo.”

There’s a heavy sigh from the other side of the door before it opens. You back up and have enough mind to look away so you don’t get a peek inside his room. It doesn’t really mean anything since you know what it looks like (you’ve seen the fucking lore videos), but you hope it means something to Sans at least.

Sans looks as ready as he always does, though instead of pink gloves today, they’re plain white. Hm, you like the pink ones better.

“that was a bad one.” He says, closing the door behind himself.

You shrug, “It got you out here, didn’t it?”

“your first day free from sickness, and you use this power for evil?”

“Don’t sound so disappointed, I know you liked it.”

The skeleton rolls his eye-lights, “anyway, what’s up? you uh, you look like you’re ready to go somewhere.”

“I am. It’s been a week, I’m sure poor Grillby’s been missing my punk ass. If he needs more time to think about it, then fine, but I want an update on my pending application. You wanna come with?” You smile.

“oh, you’re serious about that.”

You cross your arms and pout slightly.

“alright, alright. well, if you’re sure then let’s get going right now.”

You perk right back up, your smile widening as you begin to walk back downstairs. Sans shakes his head and follows close behind, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets. You’re a lot more energetic now, it’s almost endearing if it wasn’t so tiring just to watch. You weren’t like this when you two first met, but then again, you two aren’t exactly honest with each other. Plus he barely knows you, so he doesn’t think it’s fair to judge what you’re “normally like.”

“hey, [y/n].”

You look up at him from the bottom of the stairs, “Yeah?”

“you’re not gonna ask me to ride grillby’s dick for this, are ya?”

“AH-HA HA!! Shut up about that!!”

“it’s gonna be a cold day in the underground ‘til i can forget you saying that to me.”

“But we’re in Snowdin! It’s cold here all the time!”

Sans tilts his head, tapping his chin in false wonder, “hm, can’t say i feel that cold, though. you must be mistaken.”

“Bruh.”

“come on,” Sans slips right by you, “we can’t dick ride from here.”

You follow by his side with an easy grin, “Wait, so we’re dick riding now? I thought you were volunteering.”

“and take on that hottie alone? you gotta be out of your mind.”

“He IS pretty, fine, isn’t he…”

“...oh, you’re serious about that, too.”

“You know what? I don’t appreciate you judging me right now. Isn’t it usually an admirable trait when someone doesn’t give a shit about what another person looks like?”

“i think the lines start getting blurred when it’s getting into monster-fucker territory.”

“Oh, heck no. You know the fuck a monster-fucker is, but not Sugar Daddies or BDSM terms?”

“…”

“…”

Sans and you were just standing at the door, haven’t even left yet because you two are too busy standing around talking. This isn’t the conversation you were hoping to have with the comic, but you suppose that was your first mistake: having hopes. He snorts (somehow) and shakes his head.

“i think this is the type of conversation that should never leave the comfort of these walls. Or our ears.”

You grin, “You mean your spiritual ears?”

“ugh, you get what i mean.” Sans rolls his eye-lights, “c’mon. let’s get goin’ before i get any lazier.”

“Alright, alright. Uh, lady’s first.”

His permanent grin widens while he opens the door, “my, how kind of you.”

What a fucking dork. Why do you always get stuck with the mentally ill ones? First yourself, then Elliot, and now Sans the Skeleton. Thank God you’re, like, kind of normal passing when it counts, like with Toriel. Surely she isn’t aware of how brain-dead you actually are.

The walk to Grillby’s was comfortably silent and kind of amusing. You weren’t talking because there were people out and about and you had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to keep the conversation PG. What’s even funnier is that you think Sans isn’t talking for the same reason. Should you be ashamed that you’ve tainted the poor man with your ways? Probably, but the unfortunate truth is that you don’t feel ashamed at all.

Arriving at the cozy restaurant, you open the door for Sans and allow him through first. He gives you his thanks because he’s polite sometimes. There are only two people, you supposed it’s “too early;” Red Bird and Ugly Fish were sitting at their usual place at the bar, waving at you in a casual greeting. Grillby is cleaning off one of the tables carefully spraying the table with what looks to be a shimmering cleaning product and rag. Poor guy, he’s stretching his arm far ahead of himself and being careful not to touch anything wet.

“See–!” You suddenly speak up, gesturing vaguely with your hand, “This is something I could be doing for you, Grillby. With me around, never would you have to worry about liquids trying to extinguish your hot ass ever again.”

The poor fire-man jumped at your voice, but as you kept talking, his startlement turned into amusement. He places the items on the table and crosses his arms, waiting for you to finish yapping.

Sans shrugs his shoulders, “i told you she’d insist on it.”

You raise an eyebrow, “You were just saying how you didn’t actually think I was serious.”

“i never said such things.”

“It was implied.”

“not the same thing, dude.”

“Anyway!” Wow, it is way too easy to go back and forth with this man–uh, skeleton. “If you still need time to think about it, don’t worry. I just wanted to know if you got any thoughts or concerns or updates or whatever.”

Grillby shakes his head and walks a little closer, clearing his throat quietly. Wait, why is he–Does he plan on speaking?!

The restaurant is silent, both you and Sans watching the hot man in anticipation. You fiddle nervously with your fingers while the skeleton is leaning slightly forward with his hands in his pockets.

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…You’re hired.”

YOOOO!!!!

You and Sans bounce in excitement, unintentionally grabbing each other’s arms like excited children. Grillby rolls his eyes and shakes his head, though you can sense a smile on him anyway. You let go of poor Sans since you don’t think he realized you two got touchy and you don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

You clear your throat and grin while putting your hands on your hips, “That’s what I like to hear! So, when should I-”

Grillby held up a finger, and you were silenced immediately.

“But…” Grillby speaks softly, his voice is so smooth and soothing, and you may or may not have a voice kink. “I don’t need assistance from Mondays to Wednesdays. Really, Thursdays through Sundays are my busiest. So, I’ll only need you during those days if that’s fine.”

You nod slowly, “You have such a great voice. I’m sorry, I had to say it.”

Sans deadpans, “you can’t keep your thoughts to yourself for, like, ten minutes?”

You shrug and hold up your hands, “My bad, gang.”

Grillby didn’t seem to be bothered. If anything, the fire crackled irregularly for a few seconds before calming down. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he got flustered.

“Okay, okay, okay.” You shake your hands frantically, “In all seriousness, though. That sounds just fine with me. Today’s Wednesday, so I’ll come in tomor-”

“-No, you will start NEXT week. Sans said you wanted to take some time to settle into Snowdin, but you just got here a week ago. So, take a little more time to yourself,” You sense him smiling at you, “It’ll give me time to get you a uniform too, and prepare to have extra hands around here.”

You’re about to protest against that, but Sans speaks up before you can.

“well, aren’t you super considerate, grillbz? hey, since we’re feelin’ nice, maybe think about forgiving my tab?” He winks.

“…”

“…”

“No.”

“meh, had to try.”

“I’m not going to complain about not going to work, but… I dunno, only Thursdays to Sundays aren't gonna be enough for me.” You frown, crossing your arms and putting a hand to your chin, “I don’t consider myself a workaholic, but I like having money. Like, a lot of money. If you need me only for those days, I might find somewhere else for Mondays and Tuesdays.”

Sans winces slightly, “uh… really? didn’t take you for the materialistic type.”

“Hm? I might not act like it, but I love having things, and I love spoiling myself,” You smile in reminiscence of your late partner, Kōrenki, “It didn’t help that I used to have someone who was happy spoiling me, too.”

This is the story you hope they believe. It IS true you love shiny things, but the main reason is because you still fully intend to pay Sans rent. If it turns out you legitimately become the only person with a(n) (stable) income, you’re going to need that money to provide for you three.

Sans’ smile wavers, “so, you’re a material girl, huh?”

MATERIAL GIRLLL 💅🎀✨

It took everything in your fucking body to not say that. It must’ve shown on your face because Sans is giving you the side eye.

“whatever joke you’re about to say, probably don’t say it.”

“Yeah…”

“If you’re looking for more work, I might got you covered.”

You, Sans, and Grillby look back at the bar where Red Bird and Ugly Fish are sitting. Ugly Fish already looks fucking wasted to Hell and back, his head down on the bar while his friend is lazily swishing her liquor in a glass cup. She smiles at you with a wink.

“I know a good place not too far from here, back in Downtown Snowdin. It’s not very popular, but it’s ran by good folks, I think it’ll be good for you,” Red Bird nods at you. “Since you used to live there, you might’ve heard of it?”

You scrunch up your nose with a smile, “Mm… I don’t think so? But I’m open to checking it out. You think the owners would be fine if I only wanted to work two days, though?”

“Ohhh, for sure! The owner is an older one, always looking forward to helping out the locals in whatever way she can. If she knew you just wanted some small, extra work, she’d take you in no problem.” Red Bird nods, “Here, here, lemme write down the directions for ya.”

Your smile widens as you bound towards her, “You–are a saint, thank you so much!”

Sans raises a bone brow, keeping his eye-lights on you, “guess some people live to work, huh grillbz?”

The hot man just shrugs. Guess he’s done talking for today, though Sans is surprised he spoke at all. It’s not like Grillby never talks, but it’s still an unusual occurrence, even to Sans. He watches you patiently until Red Bird hands you a torn napkin with poorly written scribbles that the skeleton knows will be his job to understand what the hell they mean because you have never been to Downtown Snowdin.

A small shop in Downtown Snowdin… Yeah, he thinks he knows where it is. He thinks he’s been there on a past Reset, though it couldn’t have been more than once since they didn’t have anything special that the Shop here couldn’t offer him. Look at you, making him experience new things already and you’ve barely been here at all.

How tiring, actually.

You wave the napkin in the air with a big smile, stopping in front of the comic, “Lookie, lookie! Think we can head there right now?”

“sure, might as well do it now before i get too lazy to take you later,” Sans shrugs, holding his hand out for the napkin, “lemme take a look at it.”

You let Sans take it so he can give it a gander. You wonder if he knows this place, but you suppose you’ll find out in a bit. You look at Grillby while putting your hands on your hips. He mimics your movements and nods at you.

Cheeky man.

“You sure you can take it for this next week? I really don’t mind starting tomorrow.”

Grillby nods at you once again but says nothing. Guess him talking took more effort than anticipated, but you don’t mind it. Maybe you can actually teach him ASL; even if you and he are only using it, you think a way of communication would be nice. Sans nods and clears his throat to get your attention.

“yeah, i know where this is. if we go now, we can get there in… eh, about ten minutes. you ready to head out?”

“Yeah, sure! Let’s get going!”

The goodbyes were short and to the point, no one wanted to get in the way of your eagerness, and you all had a feeling you’d be seeing each other soon anyway. Due to Sans’ kindness, he used a shortcut to skip that bridge so you wouldn’t tweak out again. Though after that, he takes you to another path that you noticed before but didn’t pay any attention to at the time. You knew the Underground had a lot more to it than shown in the game, but now actually going through it in person…

“Gawdamn, this place is huge, dude!”

Sans snorts, “you didn’t think the underground was just a small hole in the ground, didja?”

“…Well, not anymore.”

He simply shakes his head at you, “maybe we can go exploring more another time, then.”

“Yeah, I’d really like that, Sans.”

Taglist:

@lemonboy011

@adriixboo

@fluffyart5000

[randomgooberness]

WHATS UP. SORRY THIS COMIC IS 15 IMAGES LONG LMAO I HAVEN'T USED THE NEW POST EDITOR YET SO THIS IS FORMATTED BADLY. Here's a scene from the hlvraifm au! It takes place not long after the scene where Mind was mean to Gordon about breaking his knee GFDHFDKSJ

THE BASIC CONTEXT HERE IS: Gordon shot at the skeleton that only He Can See, and Mind was already at his breaking point because his withdrawals were setting him off- so nausea with the sudden rage and screaming meant he got sick. He and Gordon have a talk! It doesn't go well(at first)!

If you want to see this conversation resolve itself, the rest is written by me and @shineyfish under the cut! Just read the warnings lol

WARNING: THE REST OF THIS SCENE CONTAINS SOMEONE TAKING DRUGS. IT IS CONTROLLED BUT STILL UNADVISED! It should be obvious but we do NOT condone it LMAO

"Just- just forget about it."

"No, I-! I-I want to know- I want to help-" Gordon said, scooting closer. "And- and you're sick, too- is that what you're mad at me for? That I- that I didn't notice? I-I don't know what even caused it you and I are the only ones who haven't drank the fucking...gross sewage water- but we can- man, I-I'm sure we can take another rest day if we need- or- or I could try to carry you? Dr. Coomer probably could, too-"

Mind was shaking, shuffling backward a little. His eyes were wide as he stared at Gordon, expression filled with fear.

"I'm, I'm good! Get the- back away, please. I need space."

If he wasn't paralyzed with fear he would run. He would run so far from this place, aliens be damned. He needed to get out of here alive. He needed to get out. 

When he said he wanted more answers about him, he didn't mean like this. This just gave him more questions, and made his teeth hurt. 

"I'm just in pain. A lot of fuckin' pain. I can keep going."

Gordon backed up, looking down guiltily. 

"Shit- sorry," he muttered. "...I... I-I dunno if you're...if you've got like, a fever- or how I'd check right now- but-" 

He paused and furrowed his brows. 

"...no...no your suit would treat you for that. Your suit would give you medicine if you got a virus or something- so you're..." 

He blinked, tilting his head the other way now, looking at Mind again. 

"...The fucks going on with you, man?"

Mind’s breath hitched. Shit.

"What are you, a fuckin' cop? Get off my ass about it, I don't need to tell you anything."

He wheezed again, raising his hand to his mouth. God, he felt horrible. Everything ached. He needed something. Pills, morphine, god he will take getting into a fight with someone just for the adrenaline at this point. 

"God I hate this."

Gordon stared at him, worry in his expression before his brows furrowed, and he huffed out his nose, pursing his lips. 

He looked away and opened his mouth to speak, failing a few times in a row, as if he were trying to say something more calm and nice, before looking right back at Mind, lips drawn back in a snarl. 

"You DO need to tell me!" He snapped. "So I can fucking HELP you! You just THREW UP and you expect me not to fucking do anything!?" 

He made an angry, and pained noise, turning his hands towards the ground so they could push him up onto his feet- which made him hiss in pain, but he stood, staring down at Mind with gritted teeth. 

"You're fucking hiding shit and it's setting us back! If you- if you can't trust me how the fuck am I supposed to trust you!?"

That made Mind shut the fuck up. Very suddenly he was Listening Intently, shoulders raised and curling in on himself.

He felt sick again. How his stupid body could even do that to him after already throwing up was a wonder and a curse.

His voice was very quiet when he answered.

"You wanna fuckin know so badly? Fine. I need Oxy, I haven't had pills in days and was banking on the stash I had here, but someone must have fuckin' snitched, cause I couldn't find shit in my locker. Everything hurts and aches, I feel sick and gross and I have had a killer fuckin headache since the stupid rescas even happened."

He growled at Gordon slightly, defensive.

"I wasn't gonna bring shit up because it doesn't matter. I've dealt with withdrawals before, I'm not useless. I know what I'm doing."

Gordon flinched, and blinked at him. 

"...Ohhh. Oh shit-" He said, looking to the ground. "...Ohhh fuck that's- not good! Okay- well, thanks for telling me-" He paused. "...Your suit has morphine, y'know."

Mind's expression withered.

"I am... I am very aware. I'm apparently not in enough pain for it to give me it."

God, he was not having a good time here.

"...Uh," Gordon played with his hands. "...I...look, I-I've never really- gotten the time to look at the blueprints for the HEV suit other than the uh. medical module- mostly so I could uh- know what the fuck it was doing- I...I can see if I can...trick yours into giving you a little? If it'll help?"

Mind yawned again, but his eyes went wide.

"I don't know if I fully trust you to do that."

He weighed his options though, and man he really needed something.

"... Sure."

"...Alright, cool, uh-" 

Gordon moved to scoot closer, before pausing. 

"...Do you still need space, or?"

Mind didn't answer, instead just moving closer to Gordon himself. Being in the same position was starting to kill his muscles.

Gordon sat there, still playing with his hands. 

"...Uh, y-you need to turn around."

He did so without complaint!... Towards Gordon. He was hissing practically the entire time about his joints.

Gordon let out a small, good-natured chuckle. 

"Thanks," he said, before tilting his head at the module. Four screws...

Ideally, he really, really would've liked a screwdriver right now. But he didn't have one. 

...He did have a combat knife he found off of a soldier, though-! 

Twirling it in his hand a few times, he looked at the screws, lined up the tip of it, and made a noise of triumph when it fit! He didn't fucking expect that! Oh my god- why did it-? Nevermind. Didn't matter, he got right to work unscrewing the cover.

"What is that noise for, what did you do-"

Mind was so incredibly uncomfortable with the position he was in. He did not like having potential enemies out of his line of sight, but he couldn't complain about shit or he wasn't getting that sweet sweet relief.

"Nothing- nothing I just- didn't expect the-" Oh, don't tell Mind you had a knife against his back. "Don't worry about it, we're making progress." 

He took off the cover, and if Mind could see him, his eyes would light up a little at the sight. He stuck his tongue out as he focused, trying to be quick for the guy but genuinely fascinated by the machinery. Black Mesa sucked, but the soldiering of the wires was amazing. 

After a few moments, he found a small screen, and an even smaller keypad- annoyingly small. He made a noise of frustration as he decided to use the tip of the knife instead of pressing them with his gloved, giant fingers. 

"Shit...The manual override is locked with a passcode," he muttered. "Uh...Hmm. Okay, gimme a sec, I'm going hackermode."

Mind snorted, trying to keep himself from shaking too much.

"What the fuck do you mean by that-"

"It means I'm trying to crack the damn passcode. Sorry, this might take a WHILE, it- wait what." 

He paused, before letting out a long, long sigh. 

"Was the passcode SERIOUSLY 1234?"

Mind Cackled.

"THERE IS NO WAY THAT IS THE PASSCODE. YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME."

He was in so much pain. And the number holding him back from pain relief was the easiest to guess thing in the world.

"That doesn't even surprise me! Knowing this place, it's probably the code to other things too."

"Let's- lets use that code for everything, now. Fuck it!" Gordon laughed, a grin on his face. 

There was a few rounds of beeping, before he let out a sigh. 

"...Okay, uh- th-the suit uh, has the automatic amount to um- it's automatically a decently high dosage for uh, your weight, I think? It should be the same amount I was given, but uh, I-I'm worried about...it messing with you too much. Are you sure you'll be alright? I can lower the dosage," 

The expression Mind made at the thought of lowering the dosage was something to behold. It took everything in him to be casual about this.

"I can handle it. I don't think this thing accounts for muscle and joint pain, and if it does the threshold is incredibly fuckin high."

"...Okay, man, but uh- let me know if you need me to- I-I dunno. Lemme know if we need to stop for the day cause you feel too fucked up, okay...?" He said. "...Are you ready?"

"Gordon. Please just give me it."

Mind sounded a little out of it.

Gordon stared at him for a moment. 

"...alright man." 

He pressed the confirm button, and watched Mind carefully, making sure he had no adverse reactions.

Mind let out a shaky breath, honest to god about to cry over this. Finally.

It took a minute for the morphine to kick in, but the second that he could feel it he visibly relaxed, pupils dilated. It wasn't as high as his normal dosage for shit like this, but it was close enough to get rid of the pain, and for that alone he was thankful. If he can get through a bit more of Black Mesa without feeling dizzy or sick, he'd be golden.

"Thank you."

Gordon felt himself swallow and looked at the ground. 

"...Right, yeah, of course-" He said. "...Sorry it took me so long to notice you were going through it, man." 

He started to put the cover back on, screwing everything back into place.

" 's fine, wasn't exactly jumping to tell you 'bout it."

Mind seemed... Chiller, honestly. A little disconcerting from his previous demeanor but that's drugs for you. 

He was tapping against the ground now, mostly just to do something with his hands.

"...I can get why. I-I'm a little worried, but I'm not going to judge you, or anything." 

He let out a sigh once the panel was back on, tight as he could get it, and he rubbed at his face. 

"...Are you still mad at me?"

Mind stretched a little, shoulders popping.

"Nnnope. It's just a clip anyway, we'll probably find like... A million more from the military around here."

"Wh- really?? Just like that??" Gordon blinked a few times, tilting his head. Mind turned to face him, a little confused.

"Yeah? Told you, man, 's just the clip I was pissed off about."

"...Okay, that's...alright." He let out a sigh, before struggling to get up again. He grimaced, still not liking walking on that knee. He took a moment to adjust, before stiffening, staring at something behind Mind, who looked over as well, seeing nothing.

After a few moments, Gordon shook his head and whispered something to himself, something about not questioning your own insanity. 

"Let's try to catch up!" He said, eyeing the pipes the others had walked on, and climbing on.

Mind stood up, shaking his hands out a bit as he did. 

He looked at the pipes with a grimace.

"Y' sure you can climb that with your fucked up leg? Don't think the HEV suit can protect you if you fall into the radiation pit."

“I’ll just take it slow,” Gordon huffed. ”Fuck it, right? We’re both drugged up enough, we can figure it out.”

[terrathetulpa]

I would like to bash the Minecraft movie teaser immediately. Because we need to bully the studio into getting rid of it or changing it like we did to Sonic. It is the most egregiously hideous abomination of Minecraft I have ever had to look at through these poor shared bloodshot eyes. The animals look like fucking horseshit supreme! Like someone was fucking around with some fur shaders for the first time and went "What if I pulled in a model of a sheep from Minecraft?" That llama is gonna be in my nightmares and I'm gonna lucid dream for the first time in months just so I can banish it to the wretched cursed CG hell plane that it came from. But first I'm gonna bash it's hideous skull in so it doesn't come back!

I am so unimpressed by your wide angle shot of a landscape that is supposed to be Minecraft, and doesn't even pass for modded Minecraft! It doesn't look like the game at all! It looks like someone tried to do a 4k voxel style remake of genshin impact and then someone else photo-shopped random ass stock photos into it. And when is someone gonna tell the movie execs that we don't wanna look at Jason Momoa anymore!? I hate his stupid bearded face!

The only snowball's chance in hell that this thing has of being watchable at all is Jack Black, and even he looks scuffed as shit! You bought that man a blue T-shirt from the GAP SEVEN MINUTES before filming- didn't even check to make sure that shit fit him! LOOK AT THIS!!!

I love you Jack Black, but you are not Steve!!! YOU ARE NOT STEVE!!! Did anyone bother to like- LOOK at the source material for more than 0 seconds!? Do you realize what this movie COULD HAVE BEEN!? I CAN'T EVEN SIT HERE AND DESCRIBE TO YOU HOW BAD THIS MISS IS FOR ME, WE WOULD BE HERE ALL NIGHT!!!

GOD!!! AT LEAST GET HIM A PROPER SHIT FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! FUCK!!! FUCKING FUCK!!! FUUUUUCCCKKK!!!!

MOTHER FUCKING DAMNIT! BITCHES IN HELL!!! FUCK THIS MOVIE! PLEASE KILL THIS MOVIE!! BOMB THIS FUCKING MOVIE!!! I need all of you internet haters to pretend this thing is Morbius! When this comes out in theatres, if they haven't at least tried to fix it. Every time you see it just pretend it's Morbius. It is not worth your time. Do not see it. Even if you really like Jack Black. Do not.

You know what fuck it- I can write a long ass post.

Listen, you have to understand that I love Minecraft. I love Minecraft so much. I love running around, making things and exploiting villagers. Roaming vast landscapes of blocks and tricking the skeletons into shooting each other. The greatest burden of my childhood is that I couldn't convince my friends to continue playing Minecraft with me. If Minecraft were a beautiful woman, I would marry her. We would host lavish dinner parties and all of the guests would compete to build the coolest Minecraft build, and I would always win because Minecraft is my wife! Now I will proceed to spend several minutes resisting the urge to describe even the most intimate aspects of this theoretical marriage I would have to Minecraft in excruciating and graphic detail. (The fuck was I saying?)

This movie could have been LITERALLY ANYTHING! Because if it has ever happened, it has happened in Minecraft. This could've been a thriller, a murder mystery, an action movie, they could have remade literally anything and gotten away with it because "It's Minecraft, it's different" They could have made INFINITE MINECRAFT MOVIES!!! But more painful to lose, and more painful to see missing from the discourse about this film is that it could have told stories that nothing else could have told. This could have been a base wars movie, this could have been about conflicting factions competing for land, with complex politics, interesting heroes and villains, doing goofy ass shit like building sheep everywhere or making chicken bombs as much as they actually genuinely fight with TNT cannons and crazy ass ANIMATED PVP sequences. This movie could have been FUCKING SICK!!!

This could have been a retelling of an anarchy server's history, or a long romantic love letter to the game itself in movie form, or a playful exciting romp through someone's LAN game but from the perspective of those in game characters- AND NO ONE PLAYS AS STEVE HE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN THERE!!! Where is our community's representation??? I don't trust this studio to show us massive sprawling builds that represent years of work, the fortresses, the cathedrals, the giant nether mansions. We're not going to see seasoned players strike down the ender dragon with 5 beds and a wooden axe. We're not getting elytra courses, SMP stories, redstone computers, massive pixel art, giant sculptures, hidden signs in peoples bases, pastoral communities farming by the river, villager outposts, torn up server spawns, that one guy who built a 150 block tall wheat farm overnight, the absolutely massive expanse of mods for this thing, the elaborate RP plots, the full on cities constructed by dozens of people, adventure maps, survival challenges, that one fucking log by the door that you keep stripping on accident- THE ACTUAL ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT MINECRAFT IS FOR ANYONE!?!?

NO!!! NOOOOO!!! None of that for you! You know what you get instead!?!?

You get JACK FUCKING BLACK trying to lug this 150-million dollar 6000 pound TURD through the box office BY HIMSELF!!! In a shitty blue T-shirt that some poor underpaid intern bought for him for 9$, 7 minutes before they started filming!!!

and I don't think he can do it!

There's no band-aid big enough to make this better.

Not even Jack Black!

[miiilowo]

YOU CAN'T JUST PUT A SICK ASS FUCKING SKELETON DRAGON AT THE END OF A MOVIE WITH NO FUCKING EXPLANATION. HELLRAISER WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO ME

[sukirichi]

“I have made mistakes. Many of them. I have hurt you, again and again, but do you really wish to end my life?” babe be glad I don’t want that because trust me the gaslighting and blame game is annoying af already. yeah you have issues and I would empathise with you completely if I didn’t get hurt/gaslit in the process.

“I’m putting my heart aside so you can finally enjoy your marriage.” babe how about you stfu before this fist catches your skeleton ass face

“I am not a slut, nor am I a homewrecker. He loved me first, don’t you forget that,” ah yes that does not make what you both did cheating at all yes you both are just lovers you were just loving each other yes yes. do us a favour, stay lovers. let kiyoomi and reader leave. both of you deserve each other.

NOW THAT IRIS IS PREGNANT please make rin take responsibility we need kiyoomi x reader endgame thank fuck I hate both of them anyway the whole decorating the house thing was making me sick. it’s a personal opinion and idk how reader is doing it - pretending play house with rin without getting sick like bae that’s the same man who slept with his mistress a month ago IN YOUR SHARED BED anyway imma stfu

(also please don’t think too much of my rants. how ever the story goes along and ends, I am here for it. smooches for being such a sexc angst writer)

(gonna call myself Freud anon for I psychoanalysed rin’s personality accurately according to you)

no, this is so real because he should really be thankful that we’re not out here trying to off him after everything he did 😭

‘do us a favour, stay lovers.’ HELP MEEE 😭 honestly iris is just getting more annoying with each chapter but that scene really irked me lmao. as for reader though, the reason she’s able to put up with all that is because, well *waves hands in the air* love ! that’s just all it is. rin is horrible - his true colors are horrible - but each time he reverts to how he’d been when he courted her, reader gets gaslit into believing that ‘oh maybe he can change. maybe we can move forward and move past it. what’s the point of holding his affair against him when its clear he’s trying his best to change?’ that kinda mindset. it’s not healthy at all, but that’s how the reader thinks, which kinda proves rintaro’s theory that reader is very deeply in love with him and would forgive him eventually

also thank you so much, i’m so happy you guys are into dtd and i am eating up everything you guys send me 🥹 i honestly wouldn’t have had much motivation to continue if it weren’t for everyone’s efforts in reaching out as well, so thank you anon! 💫💓