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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

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Bakugou Turns Into A Dog - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Fluff, crack, lowkey pervy Katsuki, cursing, (writing not spell checked!)

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Request: Bakugou’s been hit with a quirk that has given him the body of a dog. He’s still has his own human thoughts and voice but now..he’s a dog. Just how will he abuse his new power with f!Y/N

It was supposed to be a normal day! Well, as normal as it could get for UA. But of course, trouble just had to strike, and of course the ones at the center of it all was the infamous Bakusquad. More specifically, the man the group was named after.

“I-...I can’t believe that actually just h-happened!” A cheerful blonde cried out as tears fell from his face and laughter rang out from his voice.

“C’mon man, don’t be laughing at what just happened. This is serious,” Kirishima said with concern as he looked down in his arms.

“Are you serious? This has got to be the best thing that’s ever happen since we met Bakugou!” Kaminari replied with while once again dying of laughter.

“IF YOU DONT SHUT THE HELL UP RIGHT NOW SPARK PLUG, I’LL BLOW YOUR ASS TO BITS!” Bakugou barked out.

“Oh yeah? With what quirk lil pupper?” Denki slickly replied while booping his nose. Bakugou’s been making fun of Denki for the longest, this was the perfect revenge. His dear friend has been turned into a dog! Not just any dog, and not the dog you would expect. He wasn’t a german shepherd or rottweiler. Katsuki Bakugou sits in Kirishima’s arms as a fluffy, blonde, angry pomeranian.

Luckily, kinda, the only thing that changed about Bakugou was his body. He could still speak and understand the human language and he could still think like one too, but now it’s all that in a fluffy, round, adorable body. Now, he was all bark and no bite......sorta.

“OW!” Kaminari yelped as Bakugou latched onto his finger and growled. Passerbys watched as the young group of teens watched their friend throw his hand around in pain with a tiny floof dangling on it. Kirishima went in to grab Bakugou and calm Kaminari down.

“Damn, you little rugrat,” The electric blonde started, “just wait till Y/N sees you, she’s gonna die.” Kaminari teased. Once those words left his mouth, Bakugou’s puppy eyes went wide.

‘Oh hell no!’

Kirishima saw how his friend was shaking in his arms and grew concerned so he asked, “hey man, are you alright there Bakubro?”

Bakugou was extremely nervous. He couldn’t let his longtime crush see him like this! Like a weak, soft, puffball! If you saw Bakugou like this, the second he’d turn back to his normal self, he’d dive out the nearest window anytime you were around.

The entire Bakusquad knew of Katsuki’s little (HUGE) crush, and the fact that one of them was now able to use that information against him mortified the lil guy now.

“Aww c’mon Denki, that’s not very nice,” Mina said as she pet Bakugou’s little head before he snapped at her hand. Thankfully, she dodged it.

“Yeah well Kacchan hasn’t been very nice either! Damn mutt nearly bit my finger off!” This received a growl from Bakugou, which was unsurprising pretty normal.

“At least the cops told us the quirk will ware off in two weeks.” Sero stated. Kirishima joined in.

“Yeah. Sheesh, I still can’t believe what happened. That random criminal really jumped outta nowhere.” The red head said.

“Tch, I still can’t believe someone could be stuck with a shitty ass quirk like that. Turning people into pets. Ridiculous.” The blonde dog said.

“Imagine what it’s like being on the receiving end of that quirk. Must be just as ridiculous.” Mina teased.

Bakugou jumped down from Kirishima’s arms before speaking. “Yeah! No shit Pinkie!” He said while standing on his hind legs and motioning towards his new body with his front paws as if he were human.

——————————————————————————

As the group made it to the front doors of the dormitory, Bakugou stopped them before entering.

“Listen up dumbasses! Nobody better say SHIT to Y/N. Just say I’m some random dog found on the street and you guys opted to take care of me till you found me a home. If she asks what happened to me, tell her I was forced onto a trip with my parents. Got that?!” Bakugou strictly spoke.

“Got it!” The group said in unison, but a certain blonde had a different plan in mind. As they entered through the doors, Kirishima hid Bakugou into the side of his jacket but it only made comical sense that you were the first person to greet them.

“Oh! Hey guys!” You said with your award winning smile as you walked towards the group. Before anyone could say anything else, Kaminari spoke up.

“Hey Y/N! You wanna guess what Kirishima has in his jacket?” Denki exclaimed.

“Oh, no I’m sure Y/N has better things to do!”

“Maybe she shouldn’t,”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,”

The 3 friends were throwing out excuse after excuse to keep you from seeing the little devil.

“Woah woah! Hey! You guys! Chill. If you don’t want me to see then I won’t force you. It’s fine.” You kindly said.

‘Whew’ the squad all thought

‘She is so awesome!’ Bakugou thought while in the jacket

“Oh c’mon guys, show her the puppy!” Kaminari said. Now that grabbed your attention.

“Wait? Puppy?! That’s what you guys are hiding. Awww no fair!! Can I please see it! Please please pleaseeee!!!” You begged. After your constant pleading and the squad’s constant denial, Bakugou thought he could just give in this one time. He knew that his friends would cover for him and say he’s just some random dog and you would drop it so he began to stick his snout out of the jacket. Kirishima took it as a sign to show him to you.

“Oh my goddd!!! It’s so cute!!! Boy or girl?” You kindly asked while petting Bakugou’s head, something the dog was enjoying a little too much.

“It’s a boy,” Kirishima said. “We found him on the street so even though we’re kinda busy we wanted to take care of him and heal him up till we can find him a new home.” Mina added on.

“Guyssss c’mon!! Tell her the best part! Tell her exactly who that dog is.” Kaminari begged. The Bakusquad including the dog looked towards Kaminari with a warning look, but Kaminari didn’t care. The ultimate revenge starts now.

“Y/N! That’s Bakugou!” Kaminari exclaimed. As everyone started denying it, you looked towards the dog and saw that it did resemble Bakugou a lot, but then again Bakugou did look like an angry pomeranian time and time again.

Before you chose to listen to one or the other, you weighed your options. Kirishima the chivalrous and honest, the manliest man, or Kaminari the jester himself? It’s was obvious who you were gonna listen to.

“Oh stop that Kaminari. Bakugou may look like a fiesty fluff ball from time to time but he’s not really a dog.” You said while petting the pupper’s chin. Everyone sighed in relief at your words.

“But that’s really-“ Kaminari was cut of with Sero wrapping his tape around his mouth.

“Hey if you guys need a healer, I could use my quirk to help out with that. It may not be a full on healing quirk but it should help the little guy. Plus, I don’t mind spending the next...?” Kirishima helped you out.

“Two weeks,” he said.

“Right, I don’t mind spending the next two weeks with the little cutie.” You said. The dog’s eyes went wide at that as a plan came into mind but the Bakusquad once again started denying, saying it was fine but you insisted since Mina just previously said they were all busy. Throughout the chaos a VERY human like sound came from the creature in Kirishima’s arms.

“Woof.” Bakugou said with such a casual demeanor. He said ‘woof’ in such a human like voice, it was absolutely absurd. As everyone looked down at the dog, the only thing that could be heard was Sero awkwardly giving out a cough to break the silence.

“Ok...well umm that may be a sign that he’s ok with me taking him!” You said with an excited smile. Kirishima looked at the dog and as Bakugou looked back up at him, his best friend knew that he should give you the dog.

“Ok Y/N, he’s all yours. But you’re right about one thing. Since he does look like Bakugou, we named him Blasty, so that’s what you should refer to him as,” he said while placing the dog in your arms. The pomeranian was excited as what appeared to be a small smile showed up in his face and he squirmed around in Y/N’s arms, cuddling up against her pillowy breast.

“Awesome! For the next two weeks, it’s me and you Blasty!” You said while carrying Bakugou in the air facing you and looking at him. He was too cute so you pulled him in for a hug and kiss on his little head. Everyone could see Bakugou had a smug look on his face.

“Alright guys! I better get to healing him!” You said as you ran off with the pupper still holding a smug look, this time directed at Kaminari.

“Looks like your plan backfired dude,” Sero said.

“And it looks like Bakugou is gonna be enjoying these next 2 weeks a little too much,” Mina said and the group shared a laugh. Well, except for Kaminari who was kinda irritated that his revenge failed, but happy for his friend nonetheless.

——————————————————————————

Once you got back to your room you placed Blasty on your bed and started to check him for places where he needed healing.

“Huh, looks like you’re not really injured Blasty. Oh well, that’s fine! Just means I can spend more time with you without having to worry!” You said while rubbing his head. Bakugou leaned into your hand with a small and then rolled onto his back for belly rubs. He was hoping you would pet him some more but you didn’t.

“I’m sorry Blasty, but you need a bath before you hang around anymore. Let’s go!” You picked him up and he was wide eyed and bushy tailed. A bath. Whatever. As long as he got your attention. You placed him in the tub but realized you would be getting your clothes dirty, so you changed into some pajamas you wore the night before that were sitting in your hamper in your bathroom. Basically, you changed right infront of Bakugou. He was staring at you as if you were a meal. As you undressed infront of him he saw you in your panties and bra, matching of course, and damn your body was the exact definition of perfect. He licked his lips as he stared until you put on a cami top and black booty shorts.

“Damn..” he whispered.

When you came back to Bakugou you went down to his level and began to scrub him. You reveled in your touch and soaked in the hot water. When you took him out to dry him off you looked at the time and noticed it was pretty late.

“Alright, I guess we should head to bed. I’ll put on a move and we can sleep. Here, let me go set up some pillows for you to sleep on.” You said as you grabbed your spare pillows and placed them on the floor for Blasty.

As you got into bed you felt a little movement on your mattress. Apparently Bakugou hadn’t appreciated being on the floor. He wanted to sleep next to his future girl. So when you turned over and looked at him, he gave you puppy eyes.

“Oh...why the hell do you have to be so damn cute,” you said as you picked him up and placed him on your bed. Bakugou cuddled up in your chest and took in your delicious scent. You both drifted off to sleep while Bakugou was just having happy thought.

‘This is gonna be the best 2 weeks of my life!’

——————————————————————————

Ohhh what a week. You thought taking care of Blasty would be fun and exciting and adorable but it was that and more. It was also kinda frustrating. The damn dog would “bark” and growl at everyone, especially guys who tried to talk to you, and would only eat human food. He refused dog treats and never wanted to approach other dogs. Hell, this dog didn’t even go outside to use the bathroom. He went into the actual bathroom! Oh and don’t even get Y/N started on the “barking.” That dog had the most clear and humane “woof” any dog’s ever had! Another thing! This dog’s behavior is a little outta line. When Y/N would shower, it would try to follow her in and just sit there. When she would change, it would lay on her bed smiling and staring at her. When she would sleep it would ONLY cuddle into her breast or booty and one time when she woke up in the middle of the night, Blasty was up too. Again. STARING. What is up with this dog?

——————————————————————————

“Ugh!” Y/N said as she face planted the table. Her lunch completely disregarded and the Bakusquad (minus Bakugou because apparently he had to go on a trip with his parents...or so you thought) watching as the blonde mutt poked around her head on the table.

“Having fun there Y/N?” Mina asked to which Y/N replied with a stare and a twitching eye.

“Blasty is INSANE!” You roared out. The Bakusquad and Blasty (aka Bakugou) watched on. “Don’t get me wrong, I love having the little guy around but he has some weird habits for a dog. He won’t eat like a dog, use the bathroom like a dog, interact with other dogs, and don’t get me started on the barks! I’ve never heard a dog say WOOF like a human,” you took a breather before continuing, “another thing, Blasty is a lowkey perv sometimes. Well if he were human at least, but he has perv tendencies. Like the staring whenever I’m a little underdressed or in the tub or SLEEPING.”

With that rant, Bakugou felt his ears fell and he backed up into a corner on the table. He was starting to feel insecure. Had his crush really thought of him as a pervy little thing? When you saw Blasty’s reaction, you noticed he might’ve understood what you said.

‘Can he....no there’s no way.’ You thought about the dog. Was there a possibility he could understand everything you just said?

“Oh Blasty, don’t be so dramatic. I’m just saying, for a dog, you’re a little weirdo, but it’s okay because for the time being, you’re my little weirdo. I still got love for you!” You said while holding him up in the air. Once again, the dog had a reaction to your words.

The squad was starting to notice the gears in your head turn and Kirishima quickly took him away for a little “walk.”

“Oh hey Y/N, why don’t you finish your food and I’ll take Baku- BLASTY! For a walk. Yeah, maybe he needs some outdoor exercise.

“Oh no Kiri it’s fine I-“

“THANKS!” The red head said as he dashed out the cafeteria with the little floof. Oh well, might as well enjoy your last few minutes of peace.

——————————————————————————

“What the HELL SHITTY HAIR!? She was all up on me back there! You didn’t have to drag me away!” Bakugou spoke as Kirishima held him from his armpits.

“Sorry man, but you were the one who said you didn’t want your cover blown and she was starting to figure it out. And c’mon Bakugou, she knows you better than someone who would go on a trip with his parents. Not only that but your looks are so obvious. What dog had red eyes and spikey blonde hair?!?” The red head explained. The blonde dog only crossed his arms in a very human like manner and turned to the side.

“We’ll be fine, the quirk will ware off in another week so get over it. Besides, there’s no way she’ll know! We have everyone that was there covering it up for me. It’s fine!” Bakugou replied.

His best friend sighed before saying “alright man, if that’s what you want,” and placed him down to head back to the cafeteria.

“Thank you! Jeez, now let’s get back to the cafeteria. I wanna have lunch with my Y/N.” Bakugou walked on all fours with his head held proudly.

“You may be a tiny dog, but that huge crush on her that you got going on is still going strong,” the red head said.

“You’re damn right, Shitty hair!”

As the boys walked, they didn’t know that from around the corner, Y/N heard everything.

‘Bakugou?! Quirk??? CRUSH?!!?’ Oh this was too good. With this new information, Y/N walked off with a smirk and a plan.

——————————————————————————

The next few days passed and like always, you work up with Blasty, oh you mean Bakugou, on your chest. You slightly smiled knowing this past 2 weeks, your crush had been coddling over you. You got even more excited knowing your feelings were mutual. You woke up and got ready for the day.

Now, the same thing happened as always. You got up and went to the bathroom to shower and Blasty would follow. He would watch you undress and step in the shower and step out and change. You would pick him up, hold him tight, kiss his forehead, and then be out the room. This time, your routine felt a little different knowing it was actually Bakugou staring at you this whole time.

Oh. He had seen you naked multiple times. You didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or flattered. Oh well, he kept on staring is he must’ve been enjoying the show, except this time, you actually gave him one. You slowly stripped outta your clothes and made slight and soft R-rated noises as the warm water hit your skin. You bent over as you put on your underwear and slowly got dressed. You couldn’t believe yourself. Serving these looks to a dog.

Bakugous cheeks would be so red under that fur, the way you moved this morning was everything. He didn’t even notice the drool slipping from his mouth. As you stood there in nothing but your panties and bra, you turned towards Bakugou. And idea came to your head.

“Hey Blasty! You wanna help me pick out a look today? We sure are lucky the school staff has an all day meeting! Free day for us!” You picked Bakugou up and held him against your nearly bare breast. Bakugou just had to rub himself in between your mounds a little, and you noticed this, and released a slight whine.

“Mm..hey Blasty, stop that.” You placed him down and dressed into a mini skirt and tube top. You matched with a pair of everyday causal heels and went out with Bakugou following along. He would walk directly under your side and look up. He enjoyed the view of your lace panties and the jiggle of your ass everytime you took a step. Man, was this a perfect Friday or what?

Well it would’ve been if it hadn’t been for a certain Icy-Hot. What Bakugou didn’t know, was that you texted Todoroki the previous night to help you with this little plan of yours.

“Hey L/N.” Todoroki greeted you with kid kind eyes and gentle smile.

“Todoroki, stop that. I told you that you’re one of the people who can call me Y/N.” You said.

“Well alright, then I insist you call me Shoto in return.” He said.

“Only seems fair!” You said with a giggle to which Todoroki stared at.

“You have such a beautiful smile.” He complimented. You blushed at his words, especially since Todoroki really wasn’t one for..umm..emotions.

“Thanks,” you bashfully said while stepping a little closer. As Bakugou watched this whole interaction go down from below, he couldn’t help but release a small growl. No way in hell is Half and Half taking his girl!

“Actually, there was a reason why I called you over.” Todoroki said before speaking again. This caught your attention and Bakugou’s. “I was wondering if your wanted to go in a date with me. Tonight. It could be really casual and we could even do a small movie night here in the common rooms. Just you and me. What do you say?” He asked. Bakugou was fuming.

“A date huh? Mm, I’m sorry Shoto, but I’ve actually kinda been waiting for Bakugou to get back.” You said which made Bakugou flip his head towards you.

“Bakugou?” Todoroki asked.

“Yeah. I’ve had a small crush on him for awhile, and I was hoping my first date would be with him.” You explained. The cartwheels Bakugou’s heart was doing in his tiny body was ridiculous.

‘She likes me back She likes me back She likes me back!!!!’ The dog thought to himself. His tail began wagging and his smile grew bigger than ever.

“Well I heard he’ll be gone until Saturday,” Todoroki started, “so how about just for tonight, I keep you company with a movie, maybe some chocolate, maybe some flowers, and see where the night goes?” He asked. Bakugou snarled at the two toned boy with his fangs until he heard your voice.

“Sure!” You said.

“Really?” Todoroki asked.

‘Really?!’ Bakugou thought.

“Really!” You said, “Bakugou will be gone for another week so I see no harm in hanging as friends!” You smiled once more.

“Great! This’ll be amazing Y/- OUCH” Bakugou had interrupted Todoroki by latching onto his leg and holding on with his life as Todoroki did everything he could to shake the blonde mutt off. You reached for “Blasty” before apologizing to Todoroki.

“I’m sorry, Shoto. He gets like this sometimes.” You explained.

“Ah..no worries. Uh, I’ll see you later tonight?” Todoroki asked you.

“Yeah, definitely. See you then!” You said as you walked off with a grumpy pomeranian in your arms.

‘On every level. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?’ Bakugou thought to himself as you carried him away.

—

You walked into your room to with Bakugou to freshen up a little for your date with Todoroki. A little sprits of perfume here, a dash of blush there, and a little tweak with your hair. Your outfit was cute enough for a friendly little date. As you turned to Bakugou, you saw his sad puppy face.

“Oh, don’t worry Blasty! I’ll be back in a few hours! I’ll see you soon, ok?” You said as you kissed his forehead and made your way to the common room. Just before the door shut, Bakugou slipped out with you. If he couldn’t be on this date with you, then he’d just have to ruin it for Todoroki.

As you finally came in contact with the handsome boy, he greeted you and spoke of your plans

“We’ll be watching a movie, but we gotta get some great snacks first.” He said.

“How about just some popcorn and candy, they’re already right here in the dorms. Come over here and help me prep!” You said pulling on his hand and dragging him to the kitchen. Bakugou didn’t take too kindly to this and quickly went to tear Todoroki’s jeans and bite his ankle.

“Ouch!” Todoroki screamed in pain.

“Are you alright?” You looked around and saw his lower leg had been damaged.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Just a scratch.” He said reassuring your troubles.

“Well alright, if you say so.” You said and resumed your snack prep. But that was only the start of this horrible night. Throughout the date, Bakugou tortured the poor boy and did everything he could to ruin the little get together. He ate the popcorn and candy while your backs were turned, he chewed on the wires to the TV, stopping you guys from watching, and even peed on Todoroki’s leg while you guys just sat and talk. Although Todoroki saw this coming with Y/N’s plan, he had enough of torment from Bakugou. He decided to move into the final plan, right here right now.

“Y/N, you’re an amazing girl and any guy would be really really lucky to have you,” Bakugou watched this little speech from afar, growling at the two, “and I know you’re waiting for Bakugou, but since he’s not back yet, I kinda just wanna end this night with something special.” He said as he began to lean in, you had no intent on stopping him. Seeing this, Bakugou began to run towards the couple with every intent on stopping this kiss.

“HEYYY!!! Those lips are reserved for me!” Bakugou screamed and you both turned towards the little dog. Bakugou jumped into the air to leap onto Todoroki and at the strike of midnight, His body turned into a human again (fully clothed, don’t worry) and fell on Todoroki, making them both fall back.

“You stay away from my girl, icy-hot!” Bakugou said while on top of Todoroki, clinging to his shirt.

“She’s all yours, you angry pomeranian,” Todoroki said as he escaped and ran to his room. Bakugou only looked back at you with a fierce smirk. He walked up to you, grabbed your face and pulled you in for a kiss that you happily returned. He pulled away after a minute and began walking with you hand in hand.

“You’re mine now.” Bakugou said

“Whatever you say....Blasty.” You snickered.

Bakugou turned his head in shock. “You knew?” He asked.

“Of course I knew. I knew Blasty was you, I knew it was you whenever you stared at my naked body, I knew it was you whenever you cuddled into my chest, I knew it was you when I overheard you speaking like a human to Kirishima. It also helped that I just watched you transform back to your normal self. But me knowing it was you was the whole reason why I came up with this plan with Todoroki. It’s about time you made a move on me, Blasty.” You said with a teasing voice.

Embarrassed and frustrated at the fact he’d been caught, Bakugou let out an outburst.

“YOU FUCKING TEASE!” he screamed with his hands holding little explosions.

“Yeah, but now, I’m your tease. And it’s ok, because I know you like me. It’s easy to tell with that kiss and whole possessiveness. But that’s fine, because I really like you too Blasty.” You said with a smile as you wrapped your arms around his neck and Bakugou returned it with a smirk and a hug.

“Damn straight, Princess.” He said as he held onto you tight. “You’re mine.”

A/N: y’all this is not spellchecked bc after the week I’ve had, I just couldn’t. I’m sorry if this isn’t to your liking but I had to finish this so I sloppily wrote it down. I hope you enjoyed it at least! See you next time Bear Cubs💗🧸

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goldemas1244 · 3 years ago

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Okay okay final meme compilation for today unless if I have art to share. Which I do but I'll prolly forget about it in a few.

Lookit them under the cut!

^ Ethan is a dumbass but a cute dumbass nonetheless. Also Heisenberg probably barely showers so bold of you to assume that guy's got even the slightest hint of dignity on him.

^ I feel like Mirander would be that 'one word now shut up' kind of mom. (Also HeisenWinters YEET)

^ Lady D's got them bazookas of course she's a heckin' pupper. Angie's a smol pupper (chihuahua).

^ Self-explanatory. This was like the easiest. Also Ethan edgy bean.

^ Ethan definitely gets topped by his wife, hands down. Mia lies to people just so poor Ethan won't break down crying. Don't worry Ethan, a good amount of bottom boys are cute!

^ You know how many people Ethan's killed in the entirety of the game? Yeah me neither. Donna should've been insane, yes, but I don't know man. It was kinda insane of you to try and logic with a man Hell-bent on getting his daughter back, HEISENBERG!!!! Also Donna is naturally baby case closed.

^ I think Lady D's too tall for a Cracker Barrel. Also you look at Heisenberg and tell me he doesn't believe in Mothman. That guy probaby has a shelf of Mothhman merch somewhere. I had to add that "in any RE game" because honestly Ethan Winters and Chrissy-pu did just that in RE7 didn't they?

#resident evil 8 #re8 #resident evil village #meme #mother miranda #ethan winters #mia winters #alcina dimitrescu #dimitrescu #karl heisenberg #heisenberg #donna beneviento #beneviento #angie #salvatore moreau #moreau #chris redfield

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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Your First Date With Baekhyun

:: bbh x sm apprentice!reader

words. 10k

warnings ⚠️ idol au hc, pining, brief angst, eventual car sex 👀, tw light injuries bc baek is clumsy in love, oral fixation, finger sucking, rough sex, making out

↳ NOTE. here we go again with the slow burn ✊🔥

It all starts with a divine act of clumsiness.

An accident, completely out of the blue.

Who is surprised, what else could it be.

Ever since Baekhyun violently bumped into you from behind in the SM cafeteria to avoid Mark spilling red hot Americano on him… life has never been the same.

That you walked in on him walking around mighty topless, with you wanting to clear the dance practice room many hours after work three times already does not help.

It’s always the same chain of events. He practices for longer than the others and gets sweaty, pulls off his shirt, pauses the music for a five-minute break. That’s unintentionally making it seem like everyone is already gone and the room is empty — you are deceived by it every time, and he almost gets a heart attack himself. We know how easily embarrassed Baekhyun is with showing skin by accident, outside of any shower stalls that is, let alone being caught stripping by himself.

The first time he screams and you scream, off you run after quickly shutting the door. He tries his best to cover himself up with his hands, but to no avail. Lucas, Kai, and Johnny are no longer the only Magic Mikes under this rowdy fucking roof anymore. Even if you turned around fast, you saw more than a whole lot.

You know how scared Baekhyun is by surprises, he gets all fidgety. Even after four whole minutes, he still sits with the music off breathing harder than he did from powering through four jointbreaking ligament-snappers I mean EXO choreographies.

Lot of thoughts on his mind, lot of blood pumping through him. Baekhyun can hear a pretty hefty heartbeat pound in his ears. Eventually, he shakes his head at himself and does switch the music back on. But even that doesn’t distract him, nor can he concentrate on the moves. He keeps on asking himself — what the hell is wrong, what is this, why does he act like that?

So, he ends up sneaking out of the room to call it a day. You were waiting in the nearby corridor to do the cleaning after he left. But now, you hide behind a shelf with props and miscellanea to avoid him.

Of course, Baekhyun comes to grab a water bottle from said cupboard. Well, oh shit. He has his shorts on, and his calves are literally 20 inches away from you. He doesn’t see you crouching down there, but your pulse is going through the roof now, too.

In fact, not even the days when Taeyong is walking around the company in a sexy as hell crop top could cause you such a panic. And that is the highest possible bar already. The average apprentice almost faints.

There’s pungent sweat that can knock you out of your socks… and then there’s sexy sweat scent mixed with men’s deodorant. Baekhyun leaves the latter after rushing out of the corridor. It’s even more intense in the practice room, if not absolutely unbearable. Oh boy. Pheromones, please no.

It’s almost as if you’re taking a bath in cologne. You’re getting nauseous and tingly from how it gets to you. You can hardly focus on scrubbing the mirror. If only the guy knew what horniness he is causing just by infusing the air, what the fucking fuck.

The second time, he jerks up again, but tries to explain himself. But so do you, ending up with a mutual, stuttering word spill in sync.

Neither of you understood what the other was saying because you were too busy with a knee-jerk dialogue. Anxious all over, you quickly leave and eventually end up hiding behind the cupboard again. The new comeback track blasts even louder in the practice room.

The third occasion, you no longer flinch at each other and laugh a little, mighty embarrassed still, but apologize with knowing eyes. This time, you enter the room after a small „Can I?“ and at least manage to clear some noodle boxes and unused towels from the backup dancers away, and pin a new schedule to the door.

Baekhyun quickly pulls over his plain white tee and keeps on mumbling sorry, sorry like he’s Super Junior, practically scraping the ground with his hair because he bows so deep.

You’ve never seen him this awkward. Instead of his usual one-liners and most effortless conversation starters, he resorts to switching on the music again after frantically looking everywhere but in your direction. He sings his lines right along, getting back into the routine’s intricate steps.

Strange.

Very strange.

All day, he is impulsive with lightening up just about any situation. One sentence, hook line and sinker; the mood alleviates. Not this time. He’s ignoring you now that you’re in the room.

The truth is: Baekhyun can’t help but set his pupper eyes on you in all other occasions already, especially when you’re busy at a distance. And it’s making him crazy. Next day at the cafeteria, he deliberately arrives late so he can queue way, way behind you.

For the first time in all glorious epochs K-Pop history, he would let Sehun enter the line before him so he would have a shield. „Maknaes first“ is his brief comment, and Sehun thinks that Baekhyun must squarely confuse today with his birthday.

And fate says… sike. Two minutes later, a teary Mark rushes toward you and loudly apologizes for the Americano disaster. „Baekhyun was not being impolite, it was me!“

As he says just that, he turns, points right at Baekhyun’s tomato red head peeking out from behind Sehun’s shoulders, and bows to him.

The whole cafeteria is witness, including Lee Soo Man.

And SHINee, who will have gossip material for five weeks because of this. Key is already taking notes.

And BoA — who’s giggling because she’s seen it all in the business and knows exactly what’s going on with Baekhyun and you. Oh. Lord.

Baekhyun wants to sink into the ground right then and there. He’s been found out again. Of course he has to step out from his lair now and bow back to Mark, take the blame and explain the whole incident all over, and comfort him with a string of appeasing words. Which he hates for four reasons at the same time. He embarrassed Mark, himself, disturbed you the way he bumped into your back, and now you saw him hiding from… precisely you. Little does he know you did, too.

Baekhyun quickly retreats to sit next to Sehun once again after Mark has calmed down and he, being the senior as always, has performed another 180° bow to you in front of the entire staff and idol audience, causing his oversized shirt to slip downward, way to his armpits.

Goodness gracious.

BoA is this close to shouting „get a room“ upon seeing Baekhyun stand in front of you with his stomach all bare until he has hastily tucked his shirt back into this place. Fast as it happens, you can’t hide your reaction face.

Chanyeol, sitting at a nearby table, does a telling reaction noise himself, and you can tell he’s read the situation to a T. Even worse, he’s whistling. You can fool a lot of people, but not Park „Radar“ Chanyeol. He’s a himbo incarnate, but this guy’s emotional intelligence is too damn strong, and he knows Baekhyun inside out. Oh shit, man.

The next ten minutes are fraught with a weird, sonorous mumbling in the room. Lee Soo Man doesn’t really get it, thank God. But the meaning of Baekhyun silently cowering behind Sehun while eating his kimchi stew is more than obvious to half of the people around. Baekhyun never fucking acts like this, even when he’s sad.

It’s like something is pushing the two of you into humiliating situations like that ever since you started to work at SM since last May. Literally Baekhyun can’t stop apologizing to you all day because he’s suddenly clumsy or the strangest situations happen.

Nope, he doesn’t do it on purpose. But yes, he finds himself enjoying your attention. So what is he going to do? This keeps being stuck on his mind. Especially because half of EXO, NCT, and SuperM is asking him what the hell is going on in three raging group chats at once.

And you? I don’t have to tell you how it feels like when Baekhyun stumbles over to squarely plant his cutesy baby face into your back. Firmly wrapping his hands around your waist on top of that not to fall over entirely. That feeling is locked into your muscle memory. And now, seeing him stripped down for the fourth time already? Goodbye to your sleep.

Special thanks to a jittery Mark for making this first hug I mean collision out of nowhere happen. Just to be sure: Mark really didn’t spill his coffee on purpose, nor did Baekhyun want to bump into you this hard. And we know Mark’s reflexes are usually fast enough to save the day. But he was about to host his first variety show all by himself, so you can imagine how shaky and distracted he was. And nobody will resent him — this is only all about you and Baekhyun… being the most repressed motherfuckers.

Baekhyun constantly almost-crashing into you somewhere or basically crawling on the ground before you makes for a second very shaky guy. What the hell is pulling him towards you wherever he goes? It’s even worse than Minseok moving one inch and accidentally smacking Baekhyun in the face.

It just goes on and on.

Following the second cafeteria embarrassment, the next Friday after lunch, you run into each other at the ground floor elevator exit so you would drop your fries. Yeah, extra crispy ones, with the best mayonnaise. Baekyhun has been feeling so guilty about his curse at this point that he orders extra fries for you at the cafeteria two times a week with his card. Which makes Chanyeol know dear Eros struck particularly hard. Because if he didn’t care, Baekhyun would pay it five times a week like he does for NCT every now and then. But if he does it only two times, something is at stake. He doesn’t want it to be apparent.

Baekhyun can’t even look you in the eye when he puts them on your tray. Instead, he quickly bows three times in a row and then disappears. This guy is a small puddle of blush.

Lee Soo Man cites him into his room to say what’s wrong soon, but all Baekhyun can blurt out is that he didn’t sleep well and the comeback song won’t get into his head. Which is not a direct lie, so.

Whatever you do, Baekhyun appears out of the blue and falls to your feet. Only two days later, he returns from shooting an MV and slips right in front of your office. Pretty much because his feet stumble over his own pants. You put the paperwork aside and check what the hell is going on outside. A dizzy Baekhyun straight-up hit his head at your door. He declines you helping him up because he knows that your touch is probably gonna make him fully insane. He walks around with a forehead patch during the comeback stage and people online think it’s the latest trend.

Somebody save this man.

The universe just keeps on arranging the silliest things to make shit happen, huh.

At this point, Baekhyun developing a full-blown apprentice crush is as obvious as Lucas being tall.

Now, the reality is. This man is Hitch, the Date Doctor. He notoriously handles crowds, can get along with anyone he’s put together with on camera, helps the other members to juggle their love life whenever they have a problem. Chen is probably a married man because of Baekhyun in one way or another. He isn’t really shy normally in his own words. But when it comes to his own crushes — classic case of everybody’s cupid who gives good advice they would need the most.

That Baekhyun is helpless with anything that digs beneath the surface of his usual interactions will show to you very soon. There’s tough Baekhyun, there’s cute Baekhyun, and then there’s an utterly speechless little bean who has an internal meltdown when you do as much as take the stairs together. The difference is staggering. He’s fidgety, tense, makes himself even smaller and first and foremost: Is impressionable to an extreme.

In short: Baekhyun has fully converted into a fake maknae.

It’ll show in staff meeting conversations on trivial things about the schedule that he wing-mans everybody but himself when shit hits the fan. He stutters in your presence. Baek’s a mess. Chanyeol takes Baekhyun to the side and raises his brows at him at least five times a day, as in wanting to say: „Are you ever going to do something about it?“

Baekhyun dodges the answer each time and preoccupies himself with social media. Fans will later say that he hasn’t uploaded as many Twitter replies, Youtube videos, and Instagram snapshots in his whole career. And Baekhyun is already quite active online so you can tell how much he’s spamming.

Secretly… hoping you see his online activity. Which you do.

You’ve memorized his five latest vlogs down to the cute little sound noises he’s making. Still, you hide behind the cupboard, and he is hiding behind an unsuspecting Johnny. Because Sehun is already grumbling about becoming a human shield, and Chanyeol would tease Baekhyun to the hell and back whenever you’re around.

Why does all of that happen? Why is he trying to escape?

The answer is, Baekhyun feels an overpowering respect towards you. He doesn’t know where it’s coming from, it’s something you exude. To the point where he isn’t able to clown you the way he does with others. It’s literally that bad.

On top of that, Baekhyun is frustrated that whatever extroversion he can switch on during broadcasts, fan meets, and with the other members is suddenly failing him. He tries hard to fall back to his usual humor, but you being around makes him act much more erratic. And, surprisingly reserved, believe it or not.

Eye contact will make him break whatever character he’s trying to tune into for the sake of keeping it together. The exact opposite will happen. All the blushing and boiling hot sweat gives him away. Your own heated af face he doesn’t even notice.

In his mind, he’s going through any possible way of mannerisms to get your attention all while not embarrassing himself. He gives confident SuperM leader Baekhyun a shot, comedian Baekhyun, too, and he will don a pokerfaced version of himself as a last option whenever you are close.

All unsuccessfully. He can’t keep the façade for long; he knows he’s acting strange and inconsistent that way. Do you even realize what you merely sitting in the same practice room is doing to this guy?

As you can tell…

It’s up to you to hit on him. Finding an unmistakable balance between being breathtakingly forward and overly subtle. The right way to ask him out is somewhere in between. The way you gauge it, Baekhyun is turned off by all kinds of brazen approaches, but doesn’t want to be nudged with satin gloves and feathers either.

However, you end up playing too lowkey at first try because you’re just as nervous. You think, maybe it’s good to find out how interested in me he will admit he is. Which, given how much he tries to conceal his feelings, turns out to be a difficult idea.

And — Isn’t is crystal clear he likes you a whole lot by the way he tries to retreat from everyone but you? Recently, fleeing to stand behind Lucas. Who has the most hiding surface and won’t question what Baekhyun is doing there all the time, unlike Johnny.

So, how do you learn that your plan is a bad idea? You try to involve yourself in NCT’s Friday night truth-or-dare where Baekhyun always joins to mess with everyone.

But that weekend, he interestingly excuses himself to „practice English, it’s urgent!“. Off he goes as soon as he sees that you are part of the lineup, looking like he’s seen a ghost.

So, that mission failed. You get Taeyong, Haechan, and Yuta twerking against you at the same time while wearing sailor moon outfits as a dare instead.

However: You still learned something from this. The way that even Haechan’s wild gyrating and arguably great ass did not have a single effect on you tells you that you really want someone else really damn bad. Hell, if Yuta Nakamoto winds against you and you feel nothing—

And, something else has become apparent to you.

Professional he is, Baekhyun establishes rapport even with people he dislikes or feels neutral about, but when his more vulnerable feelings are in the game, he runs from them.

Beside Chanyeol and BoA, you’re smart enough to begin seeing what clockwork ticks inside of him. When Baekhyun doesn’t try to get close to someone that’s around him so frequently, something is mighty wrong and his opinion about that someone must be an intense one. And it’s not because he hates that person, the opposite is the case.

He’s almost less afraid of you than his worries of ruining it.

But through what, you’re wondering, seriously.

On the other hand, you get why Baekhyun keeps a viable distance. He knows it’s difficult to be associated with him in the way he wishes you were. Since people were looking at him and you so strange in the cafeteria, he even stopped practicing in the after hours.

Two weeks later, he even quits buying you fries for lunch and eats in the recording studio instead. Chanyeol remains correct: Much is at stake.

After the truth-or-dare fail, you sit down in sobriety and go through your options. You get all sorts of grand ideas to reveal your feelings, but dismiss the majority of it. You have to start small, really small. This needs the utmost care. Especially because you don’t want to compromise him by accident any further, nor are you anywhere near as ballsy as you believe someone hitting on Byun Baekhyun needs to be.

Truth be told: BoA would kick your ass for thinking that. And letting so many opportunities pass, as if you aren’t beating yourself up for it enough. Idol mode Baekhyun, well, he would be hard to approach indeed. But what is currently going on… he’s literally showing you his underbelly. He’s begging you to do something.

That he avoids even the lightest touch: More than telling to BoA’s knowing eye. He would be so easy to sway with just one sentence. She knows that at this point, Baekhyun is desperate. His yes would come so fast. You’re far from having faith in this. But you still try. You want this man.

Eventually, you rack your brain for anything understated you could do.

Then, you get the idea.

After a schedule briefing, Baekhyun recently said he dearly wishes he could eat fried noodles in the early evening because he’s craving something savory, meanwhile flashing a split-second glance at you. Maybe… You can discreetly bridge the gap by getting him food.

You’re part responsible for doing things like that in the company already so nobody will question you driving around with your little motorbike.

If you think about it: That’s a good excuse to approach him frequently and visit his apartment. The move is calculated, but it’s what the situation requires. You can’t tell how Baekhyun will react, but if he looked at you this way, it’s worth a shot.

And so, you dare the impossible. You show up with a deliberately small portion of noodles after the last comeback stage, knock twice. He does open. You’re frozen up.

Uttering a hopefully neutral „You said you wanted this. I’ll also bring it tomorrow if you want,“ and then drive off again without even waiting for a reply from a very surprised-looking Baekhyun in PJs.

Sweating like crazy, thank God your helmet and the upcoming dark of the night was hiding your red cheeks. Shit man, that was robotic as fuck! is what you’re thinking for the entire ride home. Another fail, you sure won’t return tomorrow. Now you can’t look him in the eye, either.

Meanwhile:

The meal not only saves the day of Baekhyun’s usually very lackluster diet mood that comes out when he is by himself. It also makes him flustered and grateful, curling up on his couch. He couldn’t even remotely try to say no out of politeness or concerns for his food plan. Baekhyun breaks the chopsticks right away after closing the door. Today, his dog’s with him. Mongryong excitedly jumps up and down next to Baekhyun. Your visit was short and sweet, but it made two beans very happy.

In fact, he rips open the box and shoves a quarter of the content into his mouth in the blink of an eye. It’s not just how hungry he is. He’s also overwhelmed that you came to his house. He feels like it’d be the highest level of disrespect to throw it away to begin with, no matter how spartan his eating habits are supposed to be.

He almost views this little take-out box as a part of you. He imagines how you listened to him talk, decided to drop by, bought it with your own money, and carried it all the way to him. All that extra effort and attention he spins back and forth in his head for the whole next week.

And, on the spot, Baekhyun is so taken aback that he starts deep cleaning his apartment at midnight as soon as he finishes his noodles.

To your own initial shock, he also drops an envelope with money under your office door the next day. And you thought someone was sending threats.

You get the underlying message, though. This is something just between the two of you, and the envelope is a yes. For another meal. Actually, more than that. There are 30 sorted bills in it, each to buy one box since he knows where you get the food from and what the standard price is.

Payment for one month in advance. Meetings for one month in advance. This fucker.

And you thought your sweaty scene at his apartment left him confused or weirded out. Nope, he decided he wants this times thirty. Something you have to let sink in.

The next day you drive along at the same time, there’s nobody there.

Because Baekhyun has left the door open. Now you can’t just speed away again. Nor do you really want to, for God’s sake.

After putting your helmet down in the small entrance room, you find an anxiously waiting Baekhyun on the extremely cleaned up living room couch, sitting there with fidgeting feet like it’s a porn casting.

The tension could kill. You put the box on the table before him like it’s England’s Crown Jewels. You want to calm him down so desperately, but don’t know how.

Given his sparkly eyes set on the food, that he wants to devour what you brought him right away is not hard to overlook. But he still seems hesitant. Insecure. Baekhyun doesn’t manage to say a full word which is the most surreal thing. You work up your voice and pass him the chopsticks in their paper packaging. „Pig out. You didn’t eat since 7AM.“

Again, he breaks the chopsticks. Trying hard not to do it too fast.

You sit opposite to him and revert back to professional mode. Talking about statistics from the comeback that Baekhyun hummingly acknowledges the way he does when you talk to EXO in meetings.

He stuffs himself like his life depends on it. No stable eye contact from him.

Both of you know that it’s not what you want to say. But even ten minutes in: Nothing about the cafeteria, the fries, the envelope, the topless incident, the forehead patch, nothing. Just you going on about details from work and him listening, nodding, chewing, making brief little remarks and using all his standard corporate phrases. „Ah, yes, EXO surely benefits from that.“ But it’s a start. You begin small.

So far, so good. With every evening, the conversation becomes more and more two-sided and the meals bigger. A second envelope soon enters your office, covering the extra costs for the XXL boxes, your fuel, and another month worth of meals. Note: Only one and a half weeks in.

Fuck, you got yourself into something big. Is it because his dog likes you?

You are starting to like babying him like that, even if you both keep it serious. Unusually so, but at least you don’t get into any more accidents with that suspense off your either shoulders.

It’s not like that cute little face would leave you any chance in the first place. Baekhyun smiles shyly around you. His big laugh is sweeping, but the small things… lethal. Absolutely lethal.

His manager doesn’t like it, but his genius idol’s mochi factor is increasing since you bring him spicy, richer foods. Baekhyun declines most snacks he’s offered at work, hardly eats up at the cafeteria and gives it to Foodcas Xuxi instead, and even the stylists wished he would gain more weight without any results in their convincing acts. But when you bring him a large portion of extra al dente spaghetti or — as of recently — self-made black bean noodles, Baekhyun would consider it rude not to follow the call of the carbs.

Interesting.

He eats even more aggressively when he knows you made the food yourself.

Quickly enough, he pays either for take-out or ingredients meant for not one, but two people. You usually eat a little earlier than he does, but you would not trade the best luxury meal in the world eaten by yourself with being together in Baekhyun’s flat. To the average Joe, this would be the biggest hassle, but to you… there’s no way you can get enough of being around him so privately. You enjoy taking the time to buy food for him. Taking the time in general.

You’re not the only one.

I don’t have to tell you how Baekhyun has to fight getting a vicious hard-on with sitting opposite to you with your motorcycling jacket peeled down to the hip, right inside a staring-not staring-staring-not staring match while you both slurp on your noodle soup pretending to be apprentice and idol.

It’s… bizarre. And hot. And bizarre. And frustrating.

You both don’t know where to take all of this. You end up making it a rock-solid daily routine, but not going any further than that because you are afraid. The excuse: Never change a running system.

In the meantime, Baekhyun works out even more. Not to compensate for the calories or to get rid of the increasingly chubby cheeks. Nope, it’s to impress you and show his fitness, plain and simple. At times, the music once again blasts in the practice room after everyone left. You come in to clear the room with Baekhyun in one of his very tight tank tops.

You greet each other softly smiling. The familiarity really does begin to show. While you sort and organize, he writes you a little note on what to get for food tonight. He scribbles a little „:3“ emoji underneath.

You think about that for at least two hours before you drive to his apartment.

So, yeah. Something is going on with him regardless of both of you trying to keep your routine stable and CIA-level secret.

He finds himself cringeworthy when he carries seven stacked up chairs to a group meeting at once just because you’re attending. But something in him can’t help it, for the love of God. At least in this regard, he thinks, something is running on autopilot in terms of flirting methods. Meaning, he really does hide less and less.

Meanwhile, Lucas’ eyes are falling out because Baekhyun is mustering new levels of strength nobody suspected he had. In the most random situations, even. Baekhyun’s fitness trainer is also living one hell of a life because his protégée is so eager these days. Mastering everything from weights to pilates. Hormones are one hell of a drug.

Kai frequently remarks that Baekhyun is different. „He’s nagging much less, what’s going on, why, why!“ he says to Taemin on the regular, and they invent all kinds of theories.

Since Baekhyun doesn’t want to miss out on your daily evening visit nor spend 8 hours in the gym, that means: He increases the intensity of the work-outs. For two and a half weeks, he is completely knocked out afterwards.

And so… it happens.

Baekhyun falls asleep before your visit. The door he has opened beforehand as always, but you enter a dim room with dozing Baekhyun splayed on the bed in his red carpet outfit from earlier that day. He worked out in the morning, did some hosting, talked his soul out in an interview, attended an award show, drove home, and eventually collapsed in the sheets. Lights out.

You put the rice box and cake slice you brought along on his desk. He looks so cute when he dozes, but you also hate disturbing his sleepy angel hours. Especially because you know how worn-out his schedule has left him and you feel sorry for it.

You feel weird for standing there with your take-out and want to hurry outside as fast as possible, but leave a note.

For the first time in weeks, you eat dinner in your own flat.

After forcefully waking up at 3AM due to his usual sleep cycle being off balance, Baekhyun falls into a spiral of regrets. Once it dawns on him what time it is and he must have missed your visit, he buries his face in his palms sitting at the edge of the bed.

He resents himself for neither cleaning up his bedroom properly nor staying awake even more so, no matter how eventful his day was. He imagines how you must have seen him sleep, probably in the most humiliating, unflattering position and with terrible hair, judging him for being rude, forgetful, unattractive, messy, and probably a thousand other things.

Until… he finds the note. That one gives him a second almost-heart attack, but an adrenaline-fueled one this time. He stumbles back onto his bed and reads it twenty times over.

„Rest well and dig in. Don’t worry. Text if you’re okay. 03304 68010113.“

After three typos in your number, almost choking on cold rice because he eats so passionately, and several minutes of going back and forth on sending something, he kicks his own ass and writes a little „I’m ok, I’m very very sorry! I’m an idiot 😭“. After you reply that he has no reason to apologize, he rambles on about how he wishes that he’s not being an inconvenience to you with a whole row of sad and dejected emojis.

You hate that Baekhyun feels put on the spot and obliged because of you this way and try to think hard about how to solve the dilemma. You won’t try to stop the rain of his apologies by telling him to calm down because you know it’ll make it worse, and instead decide it’s time to get going.

The opportunity is now, and there’s only one.

‚So, I have an idea—“

Going to the groovy little underground pizza restaurant downtown is something that Baekhyun immediately accepts as a suggestion. He wants to compensate for his dozing, but he also knows that this is a whopping chance more than anything.

And… a covert first date.

He knows that’s what it is. It’s about leveling up now.

Before you can write that you’ll treat him and he can relax, he gets firm with insisting that you will pay not a single dime. You know that it’s not just his overworking conscience speaking. It’s also the only way Baekhyun gets an occasion to express that he takes this very seriously via text.

That he wants to repay you and aims to get the most out of meeting up is something you realize when he steps out of the wardrobe room the next evening after everyone in the company has gone home.

The stylists he has told that he needs to try this particular outfit on for some time to get used to it. „I need to dance in this, so.“

Actually, it is meant for EXO performing at the Oscars next week, but he got away with the excuse and a promise to take care.

And… he really did the rest of the styling all by himself. He’s turned into a glamorous neat freak. Every shiny hair glued into its desired place, freshly dyed honey blonde with soft brunette roots.

In fact, who walks at you is a wholly different Baekhyun in a dark, reddish-violet satin suit, pointy black shoes, matte black tie, mature sultry eye shadow, black square sunglasses pushed up into his hair, his signature lipstick, with a distinct statement tote bag, and black lace socks. I repeat: Lace. This is the fanciest anybody has ever headed to eat $6.50 pizza at a tube station. I mean wow, just wow. The tailored shoulders and how tight the tux cinches in at the waist is on par with Kai’s Obsession crop top.

Even the much more expensive award show outfit from last week looks like a potato sack compared to how much he dolled himself up and reinvented literally every inch about himself. Like you have to prevent yourself from drooling.

Yep. He. Means. Business.

Funnily enough, Baekhyun realizes his zeal and just how much he is trying to impress you at all costs when you turn up with your standard khaki trench coat, bunny print umbrella, and casual white sneakers that have seen World War 1 and 2. You know, just the way you always come to his apartment and the way it’s inconspicuous.

Going by his face… he starts to overthink his esteem. You can see how his expression becomes mortified. You promptly decide to put an end to his self-conscious back and forth through taking him by the hand.

„You’re the best-looking man in the world and I’m asking you for a date. Are you comin’ or are you not?“

You then make it particularly clear to him that if anything, this right in front of you is very much authentic Baekhyun and not someone else you’re in for after all. And, that you’re both in your genuine form tonight the way it’s gotta be, the way you know each other and the reason why you decided to do this. Boom.

Four-step Greek style sermon for tonight: Delivered.

Now he’s gaping at you too much to beat himself up. That mission is very much accomplished. Modern problems apparently require ancient rhetoric. You’re in a kick-ass mood tonight. I dunno, anybody would be, Baekhyun’s accentuated sense of style has the historic potential to make girls reckless.

Baekhyun’s hand is heated like an Icelandic geyser and his heartbeat rate would make the average rabbit look like an amateur. Believe it or not — it’s the first time you’re deliberately touching. It’s ridiculous.

You head to the company garage, he churns out five jokes in a row on how he must look like a Korean Elton John on the way to his best-of concert, you laugh… Baekhyun feels better. Three times as nervous compared to when you usually come to his flat, but better nevertheless. And he drives, so.

He feels like he’s catching up and giving something back, no matter that you feel he doesn’t have to, but to him, it’s important.

You joke back to him how it’s a little bit funny — Elton John pun intended — that you saw every inch of Baekhyun’s apartment at this point already but this is the first date. The world is upside down, but it’s SM Entertainment, so. Things get started in different ways, but they do.

That realization is getting to him, too. Baekhyun’s peacock alter ego emerges to bolt over the motorway like a lovedrunk Lewis Hamilton with a foot glued to the gas pedal, but also checks fifty times for how you feel in the passenger seat. Asking about how you like it, if the A/C is set to how you want it, whether your seat is tilted the way you enjoy it. Damn, he really is on edge.

On top of that, said alter ego maneuvers him right into a 3-kilometer outer ring traffic jam before his innocent self even realizes it. More time to chat… more time to sit so close… more time you get to savor the comfort of his luxurious car. So that was a Freudian slip with a steering wheel right there.

You already know that Baekhyun has never tried as hard to make somebody like him. You compliment his taste in cars vice versa to take that pressure off before he turns into a nervous wreck entirely. And then, also adding that you could get used to this which makes Baekhyun feel like a billion Won. His eyes are downcast, his cheeks are beaming. Figures, light superpowers and such, we know the deal.

Meanwhile, that you really like him already and for a long time is something you challenge yourself to make more than apparent to him. If he’s still this desperate about pleasing you and unsure about how he comes across, there’s some work to do. This guy needs a sign. A football field-sized one. If Baekhyun’s demon is his self-worth tonight, yours is being a lot more demonstrative. You’ve been far too indirect with him all day every day.

That you’re outside of both your professional spheres actually helps: Big fucking time.

Easing him into a conversation happens surprisingly smooth when you recount visiting his apartment and seeing him sleep so beautifully. Which you say was the most gratifying thing which is the truth. It’s been on his mind, hearing about your relief makes a lot of things plague him less.

You also add how you enjoy bringing him food just because. That he’s nice and good company, even when he sleeps. That assures Baekhyun and makes him laugh.

And yes. He ends up serenading you throughout the entire traffic jam. And yes. When Baekhyun is in love, his singing is particularly on point. You can hear the cherry on top in his registers. No need for the stereo, you can ask him to sing any song you like.

The traffic jam disperses after 20 minutes, Baekhyun has interpreted your entire favorite playlist at this point. Arriving feels like way too soon.

You put your trench coat over Baekhyun while he exits the car. There’s hardly anyone around in this part of the town but who knows, making sure not to mess up his hair in the process. Both of you hurry to the stairs leading underground. Meanwhile, the car is parked quite stealthily behind a closed-down fish restaurant with dusty windows.

It feels good to walk around with Baekhyun right by your side.

The surroundings are cluttered with trash and only few people wait at the tube station that opens up before you with every step downwards. It’s actually perfect as a getaway. There are mostly older businessmen on shift at first glance.

It’s colder out in the open and surrounded by surfaces of concrete, the car was like a spa by comparison. Baekhyun takes the initiative to put the trench coat back onto your shoulders. You feel flattered and you smile at each other, and walk on with synchronized steps. The pizza bar is almost within sight. In the meantime, the digital board announces the tube arriving in five minutes. He takes your hand.

And then… some real bullshit goes down.

A group of seven scraggly-looking teens lounge on a bench, roughly 200 meters before the pizza bistro. You have to pass the bench close-by given how narrow the walking space next to the train tracks is.

One of them, the tallest of the bunch, coarsely shouts at you. „How much did that prostitute cost and where does he keep his money, huh?“ He sticks his wriggling tongue out right along. The others are ogling Baekhyun’s shoes and chest pockets, preying and laughing and sneering. It dawns on you that you should’ve asked for one more song in the car.

The mood tips. One of the boys sitting on the left side of the bench starts fiddling with a 3-inch switchblade. And then, something flicks the switch inside you, too. Your Kyoong-protect-o-meter goes through the roof faster than Baekhyun can get his car to the speed limit.

Cue She-Hulk transformation. In an onslaught of your inner wrestling diva claiming her rights, you take matters into your own hands by hurling Baekhyun’s glitzy designer bag at the guy’s surprised face. Sorry Versace, it had to be done. The whole group gasps out loud. While they’re still caught off guard, you go on to lunge forward and furiously whack greasy knife guy and two other approaching attackers with your Roger fucking Rabbit umbrella using a windmill-motion martial arts technique you came up with from scratch. Baekhyun doesn’t even have to duck… being smol has its advantages.

The switchblade is sent flying into a bin. Point landing. You proceed to rip into the group to helicopter your improvised weapon in circles until it threatens to plow down the better of them and they back away squealing and pleading. Britney would be so damn proud of you, I’m telling ya.

Needless to say, the mortally terrified group runs and disperses into the arriving tube, probably booking their therapist appointments for Monday morning already. You pick up the bag for Baekhyun a little breathless, dust it off, and say a prayer. Holy shit.

What the hell just happened. Literally, what the fucking fuck.

An entirely wide-eyed Baekhyun still can’t believe that a whole group of sleazy guys twice as tall as him took an unhinged windmill beating by you to prevent a robbery, and meanwhile he is the martial arts champion. Like, hello? He’s been a Hapkido instructor with several gold medals. How many black belts does the guy have again? He could mow down fifty of that kind and pulverize anyone of them with a mere NCT-style kick. This is ridiculous. He’s mighty impressed.

A few businessmen at the station are looking at you from afar with open mouths. You wave and give a thumbs up signalling all is okay. The security personnel reviewing the CCTV the next day is down for a ride. You hope that there are no headlines with pictures of this. Tube brats get their ass busted by cartoon bunny at 2:15 AM. K-Pop star Baekhyun defended by mysterious umbrella wielder gone wild.

You take a deep breath, brush off your coat. „Um. Moving on I guess.“ Then, interlink arms with Baekhyun, strolling on toward the restaurant. Looking around everywhere, still a little shocked. Walking off your relief helps, as is looking forward to eating. Damn, you do outrageous things when you’re hungry.

The restaurant is the size of the practice room at best, lit with white neon and decorated with Italian flags in every corner. The empty seats are designed like in an American diner from the 80s.

The lanky six-foot-something waiter, Luigi Roberto Maranello Salvatore (his nameplate is really in-depth about this), hurries to the door when he sees how Baekhyun is dressed and probably thinks the King of Korea just arrived. Which he, in fact, did, but that’s beside the point.

You sit at the very back and get comfortable after breaking your last sweat. An enthusiastic Luigi presents to you the latest ‚delicious couple menu options’ and promises to use the best toppings he can offer. You instantly trust him, Luigi has the most accurate mustache you’ve ever seen.

Baekhyun and you share a huge plate of the curiously named ‚Pizza Puppy Love‘ that might be better described as a circle-shaped late night gala buffet. You dig in because damn, fighting thugs makes hungry, and Baekhyun stuffs himself given how it’s his favorite meal. Luigi sees that you are avid eaters and way too busy looking at each other, so he disappears in the kitchen, proud of setting the mood just perfectly.

In the meantime, Baekhyun says that he thinks of hiring you as a sasaeng protection machine. You muse how the umbrella is sturdier than you thought and you wouldn’t hesitate to use it again now that you think about it. Being Baekhyun’s Jarvis is not a bad thought, actually. Beating up rascals for him is your newly discovered love language.

In fact: Whatever took over inside of you and made you lose your chill, Baekhyun is mighty curious about. He thinks that was very sexy. You get the feeling that this guy could like dangerous women. He might have picked that up from Taemin, credits to him.

After Baekhyun has dramatically recounted the umbrella incident at least five times, the conversation goes on about your embarrassing hiding stories, how hilariously over- and underdressed you are as a unit, and you teasing him about „speeding on the highway, are we“. Baekhyun teases you back about how you acted like his manager with your trench coat over his head. He kind of has a point and you call it a tie.

Seeing Baekhyun all full with his beloved pizza and acting so carefree in his Oscar suit is a cute sight. You take the liberty to cut a particularly large slice out of the puppy pizza UFO and feed him.

If it’s a couple menu, you gotta act like it.

Baekhyun is making some mighty heart eyes at you, and so — you decide to take it a little further. This whole fight thing made you forget you’re on a goddamn date after… a whole year of eyefucking and that it’s about time to close the gap.

Luigi is wholly busy making order in the kitchen and Baekhyun has some tomato sauce stuck at the side of his mouth. Convenient. You take the chance to wipe it off with the tip of your right digit.

He realizes what you’re doing and promptly grabs your hand to keep it right where it is. Uh-oh. His tongue darts out, he licks right across your finger. To top it off, he starts to suck it, too. With a typical nonchalance. Seeing how you almost combust, he takes another finger into his hot mouth. And sucks a little more. His lipstick smudges onto your hand. His eyes are like hot coals and the pupils are all blown. Oh my, my, my.

If you’re just playing, don’t you ever give Baekhyun anything to escalate on like that, ever. The way you were ready to knock down the seven guys, he is ready to get physical once the first step is done. Though, the thing is. You’re not playing. It’s exactly the type of fodder that you’ve been craving to give him. Baekhyun’s oral fixation is something else.

The rest of the pizza is gone in five minutes…

…and Luigi gets the tip of his life.

You walk to the car in much faster steps than before. Even if it’s later than late, nobody is around anymore except a sleeping beggar on the other side of the station. No danger in sight whatsoever. There’s a different reason to get going like that this time and there’s no way you can mentally prepare yourself for what’s coming.

Back to the fish restaurant, back to the car spa. Nobody on the streets, anywhere. This night, Baekhyun does not feel even remotely tired, though.

After you put your umbrella in the trunk — you will honor it much more from now on — the driver’s and passenger’s seat stay empty for half an hour and a little more. Now, the actual stereo is on. There’s a lot to catch up with on the backseat.

Baekhyun puts Delight on repeat, and queues City Lights just because. Guy knows what good music and singing sounds like. You interlock hands and call him pretty. Baekhyun is flustered, but all the more eager.

It takes barely a minute until you get serious with making out on top of him and grind on his lap like the world ends. The satiny fabric is too tempting not to gyrate all over it in your jeans. Lord knows his legs are great. You know what you signed up for. Those thighs are so delicious to straddle, you can’t even imagine.

Baekhyun gazes at you so intently and ready, whispering his little you-can-do-anythings and tell-me-all-you-wants, it’s like magic.

To top it off, kissing his little pouty lips has got to be the best thing, running your hands through his sexy hair — even more so. Your mouth and fingers have been begging you to do this. Begging.

From there, your hands go places. His neatly razored nape of the neck, his waist, the chest. His suit, all that expensive fabric, his gentle skin, it’s so nice to the touch. He smells so hot. Bergamot, cinnamon, and sweet, deep, rich and soothing sandalwood. „Girl, I’m your Candy“ gets a whole new meaning. Practice room memories. As if you aren’t wet enough already.

By the last minute of the second track, Baekhyun is already hooked kissing your neck and does some very daring acrobatics with his tongue. And you thought the pizza would satiate him. Nope, he eats you up like a whole salad bowl of black bean noodles with three pounds kimchi and ten fried eggs stacked on top. In his own words I mean lyrics: Game over.

The desperation and nervosity adds even more sloppiness and hunger. These have got to be the lewdest slurping and sucking noises you’ve ever heard. You can’t help but curse the ugliest things. Something’s pretty damn hard through the front of his tux already.

Baekhyun feels that you feel it and the kissing becomes even more frantic. His whole body says: Grind more. Please. Please.

By the time the fourth track starts, Baekhyun’s entirely wet mouth wanders upward. Here goes the French kissing madness. You glide your hips back and forth on his bulge, and his tongue is already winding inside of you like it’s advanced singing lessons. It’s so unreal that you have to grab hold of his upper arms to stay in place. Shit, this guy.

You can tell that this… is his absolute forte. Nobody can fuck with Baekhyun when it comes to outrageous mouth and throat technique. Your tongue gets a sense of how confident he is in his lip service and works his way into it. Now you know how it feels when Byun Baekhyun pays back your attention. Holy Luigi’s Cannoli, he has so much fun. Way, way too much fun. Like Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

And that’s the last damn straw. Really, the last one. You can’t do this shit anymore. You ask for condoms.

After freezing up for at least ten seconds, he nods his little head about ten times in a row. It’s as if he can’t actually believe it and didn’t just kiss the shit out of you with the hardest dick in history.

„Okay, I’ll—“

Baekhyun keeps them in a yellow puppy-shaped bag under the driver’s seat and takes three torturous minutes to get them from there since it’s underneath and behind other random things. Which means you get to look at his ass for said time because he is bent forward between the two front seats. It’s not like you’ve never seen Baekhyun from behind, but never this close nor in a suit as tight since he usually wears baggy things. So. He’s not just big in the front, then. For his build? That is Korea’s ass.

And the condoms? You expected they were in his tote or his suit within one reach and rip. Nope, Baekhyun did not leave the company building with intentions. He’s been managing this raging boner for a whole year and did not make any moves on you in his apartment where he could have had you on any available surface in two minutes. Baekhyun wasn’t close to even remotely ask for literally anything. He just sat there on the couch with restless legs, ruffled hair, and an open mouth while hearing you talk. You don’t want to imagine how intensely he must have gotten off. Which he, in fact, did.

He didn’t deliberately plan sex in a specific place for the first date either. Instead, he was prepared for— what exactly? A slight eventuality? Now that you think about it: Going by how he dressed himself, what Baekhyun probably thought he could get out of this was: A compliment. Even if all of your evening visits were nothing but hardcore sexual tension and this was the chance to bring that to an end. Let that sink in.

This guy’s self-control is not only astronomical, but also completely astounding given his usual character. In fact, you thought he would be entirely sovereign with this. How could he not? He’s Baekhyun!

Going by all that… You conclude that Baekhyun must really feel like he does not deserve you. His shame and self-denial must go through the roof. Given how his deeper insecurities have been in plain sight, it actually makes sense. Looks like you’re the one bringing them out, whatever it is that you do. It’s pretty tough knowing that you rouse something as vulnerable in him but it’s as good as it is bad. You find him very brave and incredible for letting it show. Honestly? It’s better than pushing through all of this pretending.

Plus — You really must have given him the impression that he can look but not ever touch. While that’s the entire opposite of what you want.

To be fair: Having Baekhyun openly touch you in the company would have been a dangerous act. Even more so than say, you touching him, (which would have been somewhat possible, look at stylists and managers casually or work-relatedly doing skinship). Because that means that the availability his profession suggests to the world is no longer a thing and his mind is set on one person. Which, in his field, is social death.

That’s why Baekhyun could only ever touch you by virtue of circumstances and whatever higher forces arranging accidents where he bumped into you. Talk about indirect ways. The universe gave you what you wanted, but in a way where there was always the excuse of bad luck and no possibility of other people finding out about your feelings. Risky love breeds risky circumstances.

The same with showing his body or knocking at your door to get your attention. He knows he can’t do that, can’t ask for it. So what happens? You accidentally walk in on him, or he crashes against your office entrance after slipping.

The same with treating you, spending time together, getting taken care of by you. Baekhyun found himself wishing for it. So it happened that you spilled your fries and he bought them for you all over, and he was begging for fried noodles so the opportunity to meet surprisingly came about. The accidents themselves both of you didn’t want nor deliberately stage, but you very much wanted the results of them. Directly you could not express your feelings, not even Baekhyun. That’s how it all came to be and now you see just how much he wants to be close to you in so many ways.

That he feels ashamed and undeserving — that shocks the living hell out of you.

So, all right then, keeper. Time to show you otherwise.

It’s crazy how he thinks you’re the one off limits and not him. Then again, he’s not the guy with the savage umbrella technique.

Since his hand is too shaky, you slip one on him and start to ride him without any further ado. You’re already leaking so what’s left to fiddle around about. No wasting any time here.

The deal is as good as sealed. He feels fucking great inside of you and his wide eyes are the most rewarding thing. Whatever dimension Baekhyun just broke through, the level of whipped is not possible to be described with any human words. His hands are roaming over you pretty much without aim, you can tell your body is too much for him.

After he’s begging you to do it roughly, you grab him by the collar and fuck his soul out until he’s all gasping because his dick hurts. The song’s called Are You Ridin’ with good reason.

Baekhyun’s brains are long screwed out at this point, if not reduced to absolute green and purple jello. Is there actually any mind to lose at this point after you had your fingers in his mouth? Like literally, his favorite thing? Probably not.

He bites down into his sleeve. Baekhyun is all knocked out by you by the time you get to your second orgasm, and reclines on the backseat bench to starfish the rest of the thing with his mouth hanging open at you. Hormone overload. His entire body shut down except the will to keep it up and not come. Yum, he is fit. Where he takes that godly strength from, only higher powers can tell. The Tree of Life, Zeus, Ten Chittaphon, I don’t know.

He just has the kind of dick you can really bounce on. Really. Fucking. Hard. You are one spark of insanity close to run on autopilot. I don’t think anybody’s growled like this on him before. Nor was Baekhyun’s cock this close to falling right off, ever.

This is not sex, it’s a crazy as fuck pounding, with Baekhyun on the verge of being blacked out with drool on his chin and his eyes rolling back. His fingers are absentmindedly trailing down your upper back and all he can utter is a small, yearning „please, please“ and gritting „don’t stop, please don’t stop…“ between his teeth. And hell, you have not a single reason to. Cue Captain America, I can do this all day.

When other people say smashing, whatever they’re referring to is not as smash as this. This must be the dirtiest, wettest slapping noise you’ve ever heard, and Baekhyun’s entirely uncontrolled moans will be forever etched into your memory. So melodic, so goddamn excited and desperate and all fucked out. He’s groaning so well, it’s like it’s meant for you.

By the third time you come, he’s crying and whining and has to cover his mouth not to scream out loud. You have no idea what your body is doing, but whatever it is, it’s taking Baekhyun out. Even you tire after some time, but you keep going. You imagine that every thrust is the meal and attention you wanna give to him.

That’s a lot of fucking and edging you get done in half an hour. Baekhyun’s tongue is hanging out afterwards and you went through a whopping three condoms. So much frustration finally released. Baekhyun’s gonna be emptier than Suho’s wallet after Sehun ordered a lifetime supply of bubble tea.

You squarely avoid oozing your own cum onto his backseat with one hand. Good lord that creampie would ruin everything if he didn’t wear a condom. You’ve come a long way since colliding in the cafeteria, not gonna lie.

And thank God you’re not fucking somewhere in the company and the Audi is close to soundproof because this guy is LOUD. You need some good eardrums to handle these moans. Unhinged is an understatement. If this becomes a contest outwhoring each other, he’d win by a landslide.

By the time you slip off, Baekhyun is on the verge to the dreamland, you milked every last drop out of him. Which means…

…you get to drive an expensive as fuck Audi through Seoul. Your beatdown with the tube thugs you try to refrain from boasting about, but this one you are tempted to brag about to yourself for the next week. Well, in your mind. Just a little bit. It’s a great car. And you feel giddy in your body all over. That’s what sex with Baekhyun does to you.

Seoul traffic is tame around this time. Half in his sleep, Baekhyun hums and sings on the driver’s seat. He’s all sober, but you made the guy act a lil’ drunk, huh. In his element, he talks and talks and talks and talks a little more. Then, does his tiny 'ㅅ' pup face and dozes for half the ride. Sleeping angel hours.

You can’t really scold him for passing out so fast in the slightest. As always, he went who knows how many extra miles just for you. That includes vowing to hand-wash his Oscars suit because it’s fucking ruined. Since the stylists are guaranteed to flame him, you send the fashion department a message how Baekhyun has to wear a different suit because he’s simply too dummy thick for this one, especially as far as the pants are concerned. Which is almost no lie and they will believe you.

Much like his name suggests, Baekhyun does go hundred. At his apartment, you basically have to carry him into the bedroom. He says he doesn’t want to sleep. But you won’t kiss him goodnight after you pull off your jacket without a strong word on how his health has to be priority. He gets the point when you say you wouldn’t have had a first date without Baekhyun dozing off before your evening visit.

Sweet baby Jesus, you’d still be awkwardly slurping noodles without Baekhyun’s faux pas. If you look back at it: It’s all a story of accidents that turn out beautiful.

Sleep being Baekhyun’s reset button, that’s the best thing to do in order to give the night a good conclusion. Being alone in his apartment together, you don’t have to discreet about sleeping next to him after setting the alarm clock.

Mark Lee’s piping hot Americano is the culprit for all of this, but you thank him.

----

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12timetraveler · 4 years ago

Note

I’m so sorry about your pupper, I really hope the pain she is in eases soon. To hopefully distract you from that though can I get some cuddle head cannons from the men and women in the camp. :)

I left these in my queue for later so these have been there since like... October? November?

Simbrah is doing better. Well... shes losing a lot of hair still. But she seems to be feeling a lot better so I’m hoping we’re on the upward trend

Anyway, cuddle HCs

Arthur

~ Arthur, sweet, touch starved man that he is, absolutely LOVES cuddles.

~ I mean LOVES them.

~ Any time you’re alone together, he’s pulling you close and cuddling with you.

~ Sometimes you think you’d need a crowbar to pry yourself from this man’s grasp.

~ Fortunately, since you love snuggles just as much, you aren’t that desperate to escape his embrace.

~ On the subject of cuddles in private, you and Arthur are in agreement.

~ Its when you get to PDA that things differ a little bit.

~ some of the gang tease Arthur when they see the two of you cuddling next to the camp fire.

~ Suddenly Arthur is bashful, and doesn’t seem to even want to hold your hand.

~ you slowly try to bring him around, get him to touch you when in public.

~ it’s only when Micah tells him how disgusting it is that the two of you cuddle in public that he seems to snap out of it.

~ now he won’t let you go in public either, if only to irritate the hell out of Micah.

~ sometimes when you’re having a rough go you just walk up to him and hold him, maybe even sit on his lap.

~ he immediately puts down what he was doing and just holds you

doesn’t matter what he’s doing. if you need cuddles badly, you’ll get them

Charles

~ I Hc that Charles’ love language is touch

~ So I think he’s just as cuddly as you are

~ Any time you’re near each other, hes grabbing your hand

~ resting his hand in your back pocket (If you wear trousers)

~ forehead kisses

~ random hugs

~ in the evening, when you’re both winding down for the night, his arms are around you

~ he’ll pull you into his lap and hold you close

~ Just hold you.

~ if he gets too cuddly and you need him to stop, he will of course respect your boundaries.

~ but honestly you’re just as cuddly, and so it doesn’t happen often.

~ Charles is a big, beefy guy.

~ he loves falling asleep with you fully on top of him, pinning him securely between you and the dirt.

~ he holds you close, makes sure the blanket is securely around you so you stay warm

~ but he will be out like a light the moment you settle in on top of him.

Javier

~ Javier is the king of random cuddles.

~ I’m not sure touch would be his love language, but when he finds out its yours, and that you need lots of cuddles

~ the man will not go a single day without holding you at least once.

~ you’ll be chopping vegetables for Pearson, and Javier’s arms will snake around your waist from behind.

~ he sees you drinking coffee in the morning, he comes and stands alongside you and rests his hand on your waist.

~ he’s always happy to hold you close

~ he’s not ashamed of pda, but he does try to keep it a little more minimal.

~ He’s not shy about embarrassing you though, and if he can see you’re feeling down, he’ll have you in his arms, nipping at your neck and blowing raspberries on your skin until you’re laughing and leaning into his embrace.

~ Sometimes, when you’ve had a bad day and need cuddles, but Javier is on guard duty, you’ll go stand with him.

~ You don’t have to say anything, just come up alongside him and rest your head on his shoulder.

~ His arm will be around you in an instant, holding you firmly against him while he keeps guard.

~ The two of you can stand like that for hours if need be. He’s still doing his job, still keeping an eye out for intruders, but keeping you close.

John

~ John is definitely more flustered by your need for cuddles.

~ he’s not really sure what to make of it at first.

~ he’ll always give you a hug, pat your back

~ but he’s a little too shy to really snuggle with you.

~ he just ain’t used to it.

~ give him some time though. He’ll figure it out

~ Definitely not comfortable with pda though.

~ he’ll hold you in his arms in his tent all day and night if you need

~ but he gets super shy if you ask for cuddles in camp.

~ He will sit next to you at the campfire.

~ put an arm around your shoulders

~ quick pecks on the cheek or forehead.

~ but he’ll never be the type to pull you into his lap and hold you tightly if others are around.

~ But the man is touch starved all the same

~ so he adores those private moments in your tent

~ loves pulling your body tight against his

~ nuzzles his head against your chest

~ nearly cries when you caress his cheek.

~ you could not pry that boy off of you if you tried.

~ only the threat of Mrs. Grimshaw barging into your tent looking for you forces him to let you go each morning.

~ John swears he’s never slept better than he does in your arms.

Hosea

~ Hosea certainly appreciates the need for a good cuddle.

~ he’s maybe not as clingy as you are

~ and his love language is probably words of affirmation

~ but he’s more than happy to wrap an arm around you while he reads his paper.

~ Let you sit on his lap while he’s grinding herbs

~ rest your head on his shoulder while he’s writing in his journal.

~ After he and Dutch get into an argument is when he needs a cuddle back.

~ something about holding you is so soothing

~ so when he’s ready to toss Dutch into the lake, he’ll find you and pull you close.

~ he’s not going to waste his time being embarrassed by your cuddly affections.

~ Life is too damn short to spend time worry about what others will think

~ especially when it comes to your loved ones

~ he’ll spend every moment he can with you.

~ Definitely loves holding you in his sleep

~ He’s more of a back sleeper, and his lungs are too weak to let you spend the whole night with his chest as a pillow

~ but he’s more than happy to let you nuzzle into his side and rest your head on his arm.

~ or sometimes he’ll spoon you, burying his face in your neck as you sleep.

~ Hosea doesn’t have a private tent, so pda is really his only option.

~ but any time anyone tries giving him any shit about being cuddly.

~ he’ll just bluntly ask which of them is in a relationship, and actually has a woman to hold and love.

~ shuts them up pretty good.

Dutch

~ Dutch is not the cuddliest man in the world.

~ he’s too stressed out, too busy.

~ begging for his attention isn’t going to get you anywhere.

~ what will work is listening to him.

~ the man has the weight of 20 lives on his shoulders. Of course he needs to talk things out now and then.

~ it’s not even about getting your advice or opinions. He just needs to talk outloud.

~ If you can sit and listen to him, let him talk things over outloud without feeling foolish, then he’ll be more prepared to give you all the cuddles you need.

~ not in public of course.

~ Aside from an arm around your waist, the occasional quick kiss, he can’t be seen participating in pda

~ he has to keep up an appearance.

~ but at night, behind closed curtains, he’s all yours.

~ he does love feeling needed like this, something easy he can do for you that doesn’t involve energy or planning or grand words.

~ he finds it very relaxing to cuddle up with you in the evenings

~ It helps his mind unwind and he falls asleep faster when you’re holding him and he’s holding you.

~ he especially enjoys when your arms drape around his neck and your fingers idly play with the curls on his neck as you cuddle.

~ or when he subtly slips down to rest his head against your chest as he drifts off to sleep.

Kieran

~ Listen the boy is so touch starved and so in need of snuggles that he wont even know what to do with himself.

~ The first time you even hug him he freezes.

~ Kieran.exe is broken.

~ the first time you fall asleep snuggled against him he actually cries

~ like oh my god you are so cute and soft and warm and what are you doing with him?

~ honestly, you’re going to have to initiate most of the cuddling.

~ he’s too damn scared.

~ worried he’s being clingy.

~ but if you start coming up behind him while hes working and giving him hugs, he wil melt.

~ he’s not afraid of pda when you initiate.

~ “They already mock me. May as well be over something good,”

~ If you’re having a bad day and really need some cuddles, he’ll drop everything.

~ walk over to the scout fire where he’s cleaning tack and gently push the tack.

~ he’ll set it aside, looking up at you questioningly.

~ if you straddle his lap and bury your face in his neck, just needing to be held

~ Kieran will hold you close and never let go.

~ seriously, he will sleep in the dirt with you on top of him that night. He’s not letting you go.

Bill

~ Okay but Bill might actually be needier than you are when it comes to cuddles.

~ he’s prickly on the outside, but once you’ve broken through that outer shell

~ the man is a cuddle bug.

~ touch starved as hell.

~ Now he will never be okay with pda.

~ he gets way too flustered.

~ and he’s too scared of the others teasing him

~ he’s okay with a soft kiss and a quick hug when he’s about to leave for a job. But that’s it.

~ but once you’re curling up to go to sleep, oh the man will not be letting you go any time soon.

~ now the two of you don’t really have a tent.

~ so maybe this technically counts as pda

~ but if anyone says anything, he’ll just say you got cold during the night, or some other bs like that.

~ but he’s the one who pulled you close.

~ if you’re having a bad day and need some cuddles, he’ll step out of camp with you and hold you close

~ sneak up behind him and hug him while he’s busy on guard duty. He will become putty in your arms.

Micah

~ Micah definitely isn’t one for pda

~ and he always has a comment when you randomly come up to him and cuddle up against him.

~ But in the end, if thats what you need, he’ll be there.

~ he’s surprisingly warm

~ and his shoulder is actually quite soft.

~ while he’s not the king of cuddling, there’s nothing that’ll calm his temper faster.

~ if he and Arthur just got into a big thing

~ or if a job went wrong

~ or he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed

~ feeling your arms slide around his middle and your face press against his back is a surefire way to make him smile

~ it’s the only time he won’t have anything to say

~ no sarcastic remarks.

~ he’ll just lean back against you and let you hold him.

~ everyone knows you like cuddles, so Micah can save face if anyone says anything by saying you just wanted some cuddles.

~ But you both know you were really doing it for him that time to calm him down.

Sadie

~ will only initiate the cuddles if you’re having a bad day.

~ if she catches you outside of camp crying

~ or sees you sitting by yourself

~ you’re going to be cuddled to death.

~ but the rest of the time, she’s not the one to initiate

~ you have to nuzzle up to her

~ rest your head in her lap

~ hug her arm while she’s on guard duty.

~ but any time you do she’ll just smile at you

~ kiss your forehead

~ and hold you back.

Karen

~ Very soft

~ She’s not overly affectionate

~ if you get too clingy she’s likely gonna shake you off.

~ but she doesn’t hate cuddles

~ and if you need some cuddles, Karens are Q U A L I T Y

~ big boobs = comfy pillow

~ she’ll pull you close and let you rest your head on her chest

~ stroke your hair

~ maybe hum you a song.

Albert Mason

~ Okay Albert

~ fucking

~ LOVES CUDDLES

~ He’s not nearly as touch starved as our outlaw boys

~ I mean, he’s still touch starved, but not quite so severely.

~ he does get flustered easily, so use your pda sparingly

~ you don’t want to set off his anxiety.

~ but once you get into bed with him, the man will NOT let you go

~ he’s gonna hold you forever

~ seriously I hope you don’t need to pee in the night or anything

~ you ain't getting out of his grip any time soon

~ surprisingly strong

~ loves sitting out on top of a cliff with you and just holding you while you watch nature

~ take him out to see a sunrise or a sunset

~ Find a valley with lots of deer

~ take him there and just sit with him and watch nature

~ if you’re having a bad day

~ be prepared for A BILLION kisses

~ like all over

~ he’s going to hold you close and smother your in affection

~ make sure you know just how much you’re loved

~ The cuddliest man in the world ngl

Flaco

~ very touch starved

~ just contact starved in general

~ just know, if you let him hold you

~ he ain’t ever letting you go

~ he’ll make some excuse about needing to keep you warm

~ it’s bullshit.

~ come back from a job and immediately sit down on his lap and wrap your arms around him if you want to see his brain malfunction.

~ he’s practically squeeing at your adorableness.

~ honestly Flaco is the perfect match for a cuddler.

~ he ain’t afraid of pda either

~ you’re practically always on his arm, pressed up against him.

~ honestly it just feeds his ego

~ makes him feel powerful

~ he’s seen too much to let pride overshadow love

~ he just wants you close

~ spends a lot less time sharpening wood into a spike

~ a lot more time just holding you

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 hcs #arthur morgan #charles smith #javier escuella #hosea matthews #dutch van der linde #kieran duffy #karen jones #sadie adler #bill williamson #micah bell #albert mason #flaco hernandez #John marston

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tfpishere · 14 days ago

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If you boop the cat (high five) it will be your cat color rather than the cat you booped!

(Doin boop science over here 👩‍🔬)

#shut the hell up pupper

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tfpishere · 7 months ago

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All the first discoveries (that I could fit on the screen) that I have made trying to make Gillion FUCKING Tidestrider. Im mentally well btw ^v^

I'm so close!!!!!

#shut the hell up pupper

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headcanonfantasy · 4 years ago

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Apple Pie life with an Angel, a new God and a dog-A Destiel fic

“I love you.” Castiel struggled as Dean began to cry angrily.

“Don’t do this Cas.” Dean whimpered as he ran to Cas. Cas pushed him away.

“Goodbye, Dean.” Cas started as the Empty began to pour in.

“NO!” Dean roared out as he ran to Cas. “Don’t do this, not without me. You changed me just as much as I did you, Cas. I need you. I want nothing more than to be with you. You leave me, I have NOTHING, Cas.” Dean touched his forehead as tears streamed harder down his face. “I love you.” Dean then kissed Cas deeply, Cas struggling to push Dean away, but Dean was too strong as he held onto his trenchcoat, the Empty coating the both of them in its goo as both men were sucked into the Empty together, Dean never letting go. As they disappeared in tar-like ooze, the only sound in the dungeon was Sam calling Dean’s phone.

..............................................................................................................................

Sam found it hard to sleep, as did Jack. The two men found it hard to cope.

“Without Dean and Cas, we’re sunk. Do you know where we can find Amara? We could use her help.” Sam said as he drank a beer.

“We could also use Dad’s help. He was right about Grandpa to begin with.” Jack said.

“That’s true.” Sam replied. Suddenly, Dean’s phone was calling and Lucifer, once again in Cas’s body, appeared.

“So, dear old Daddy’s been screwing with the world?” Lucifer asked.

“Cas?” Sam asked confused.

“Funny, Sammy. You forget you beat me the last time we met when I was possessing your brother’s Angel of the morning?” Lucifer reminded.

“Right, I forgot. Hello, Lucifer. You got any ideas for beating Chuck?” Sam asked.

“Sure. Hey, I was able to save a dog for Deano, heard ol’ Cassie went into the Empty. Or if Dean went in with him, Jack needs a pet.” Lucifer said. “Really is a miracle. Just found him outside a gas station. Keeping him safe from Dad, but I’ll be sure to ask Aunt Amara when I see her IF he finds us and snuffs the pupper out, to let me take away his grace.”

“Why are you helping us?” Sam asked.

“Is that Dad? I wanna talk to him, knowing how to smite Grandpa. Maybe he has an idea.” Jack offered.

“Jack wants to talk.” Sam said.

“Great, I’ll bring the dog.” Lucifer said as he soon flew himself and the dog into the bunker. “A lot gloomier than I last saw it.” Lucifer quipped when he set the dog down.

“Dad, I see you’re in Cas’s form.” Jack noted.

“Yeah, when you die in one form, you tend to come back in that form afterwards. Like Nick before I possessed Vince Vincente and later Castiel. Sorry about your loss, by the way. But I think I have an idea. Our Aunt Amara has a bit of history with the Empty, yeah? They may be able to make a deal with her if I offer myself.” Lucifer said. Jack was surprised.

“Why?” Jack asked.

“Archangels and Nephilim have the power to take God’s place. You can do it, Jack. Because you’re the Nephilim of an Archangel, that’s why Dad fried you the first time.” Lucifer pointed out. “But first, we must consult our aunt.”

..............................................................................................................................

The Entity couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because once again, Cas couldn’t sleep. Maybe it was because he didn’t have a reason to sleep and he happened to bring it with him. Maybe it was because that stowaway refused to unlatch himself from Cas and the men were stuck between moaning and giggling and yessing. It was very loud, very distracting and it felt like he was in Hell.

“Dean, that tickles.” Cas giggled.

“I can’t help it, you’re so ticklish, it makes me feel alive.” Dean purred as he kissed Cas’s chest. Cas moaned before arching his back as Dean stroked his groin. Dean crawled back up to Cas and they began to undress each other.

“Oh PLEASE stop.” The Entity begged as he pounded into the floor. “You’ve been drowning yourselves in each other’s pleasure and vice versa since you got here. You have GOT to stop sooner or later.” The Entity began to cry and plead.

“I’m not tired or hungry. What about you, Cas?” Dean asked.

“The only thing I’m hungry for is you, Dean.” Cas said as he nipped Dean’s ear.

“OOH, right there baby.” Dean said as he unbuttoned and unzipped Cas, making Cas whimper with extreme heat and began to slowly stroke the older Angel’s dick. Cas’s whimper soon turned into a gasp and a shout. The Entity pounded his head against a wall of the Empty a la Gordon Ramsay after Jason Underwood told him he was gonna try and make the souffles less sticky to the ramekin with butter, sugar and cocoa powder.

..............................................................................................................................

Once they had met with Amara, she heard pounding from the Empty. “The Empty should be sleeping. Funny, who’s keeping them awake?” Amara asked.

“Daddy’s favorite peeon and his Angel.” Lucifer said as he and Jack flew in.

“Dean’s in the Empty?” Amara was stunned. “No Human should ever BE in the Empty. How’s he surviving?” She asked.

“I don’t know, he latched onto Cas when it happened.” Sam said.

“Oh, Jack. I want to give you back your Grace.” Lucifer said as he cut Jack’s Grace out of him and Jack breathed it back in. Jack then closed Lucifer’s neck.

“Dad, you didn’t have to do that.” Jack said.

“You need more power, son. I never regretted bringing you to life. I was a crap father, but you’re an amazing person.” Jack and he hugged one last time as Amara went to the Empty.

..............................................................................................................................

“Oh God, baby. Yes. Yes, YES DEAN YES HARDER MORE! YESDEANYESGODDEANYES!” Cas was howling into darkness as Dean thrusted hard, hitting the Angel’s prostate. The Entity just continued to pound his head against the wall. Suddenly, Amara appeared.

“Are you here to take the sexfiends?” The Entity asked, eyes bloodshot.

“Are you willing to trade?” Amara asked.

“Who would I like?” The Entity asked,

..............................................................................................................................

When Amara came back, Dean and Cas were barely dressed and still attached to each other.

“Dude, seriously?” Sam groaned as he watched his brother exchange spit with Cas.

“Shut up, I don’t complain when you kiss Eileen.” Dean said as he went back to kissing Cas.

“I get that, your fly though, Dean. Your fly is open.” Sam sighed as he covered Jack’s eyes.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, Amara didn’t have time to let us dress before the deal to take Lucifer in our stead was taken by the Empty.” Cas said as he zipped himself up, Dean following suit.

“Good to have you back, but I never wanna see that much of you again.” Sam said as he patted Dean on the back and then hugged him, then hugged Cas. “Otherwise, welcome home, guys.”

“Great to be back.” Dean said as he kissed Cas deeply.

“Alright, lovebirds.” Amara said lovingly. “Can we go find my brother?”

“Oh sure.” Dean said as he pulled away from Cas and they all headed out to Chuck.

..............................................................................................................................

Amara cuffed Chuck with Enochian handcuffs and Dean kicked him in the nuts. Finally, Jack touched Chuck’s head and all of Chuck’s powers were absorbed into Jack.

“What?” Chuck asked as he gasped. “But how?”

“I got some help from the one son who was right to never listen to you.” Jack said as he finished sucking all of Chuck’s powers and absorbing it into his system.

..............................................................................................................................

After all was said and done, Jack joined with Amara. She’d guide him on how to rebuild Heaven. Before he left though, he gifted Dean and Cas the dog. “Dad wanted you to have him. His name’s Miracle. Dad said it was a miracle Grandpa had missed the sweetcake.” Jack said as he handed Miracle off to the two.

“After years of the ‘No dogs in the Impala’ rule?” Dean asked. “I’m honored to own him.” Dean said. Cas smiled and kissed the dog before kissing Dean softly in turn.

“Where will you go now?” Sam asked.

“I’m thinking a farm somewhere. Or maybe a nice home in a cul de sac. Or even a cabin in the woods?” Dean asked as he looked Cas in the eyes.

“I hear the barn we first met in is being condemned.” Cas said. “We may buy the property and build a nice acreage where I can keep an apiary and Dean can start a garage.” Cas offered. “Maybe I can even grow peanuts and make my own peanut butter.” Just as he said that, Jack gave Cas the gift of Human feelings for food and such, not needing to give him love as Dean had already taught him how to love. Another thing he did before leaving for Heaven was what Amara had done for Dean.

“Sam?” Sam’s eyes widened as he turned and faced the truest love of his life.

“Oh my God, Jess?” Sam gasped.

“Whoa, what year is this? Last thing I knew, I was making cookies when-God, what happened to you?” Jess asked.

“It’s a long story.” Sam said as he hugged her tightly.

I missed you too.” Jess said as she hugged him back. Then, Sam immediately began to kiss her as deeply as Dean was doing Cas when they left the Empty.

“Let’s beat them in our own game by joining in.” Dean said as he pulled Cas in for another kiss.

..............................................................................................................................

The house was amazing. Everything Dean had wanted, a back yard for Miracle and Cas loved the peanut grinder and apiary Dean had set up for him. Especially with the tap so as not to disturb the bees.

“Try my honey roasted peanut butter burgers.” Cas said when Sam and Jess visited them. “Dean makes his own brioche and it’s amazing.”

“He thinks everything I do is amazing. He makes his own jelly though.” Dean said. “I’m telling you, ever since Cas has been able to taste? His pallet makes me purr.” Dean said as he kissed Cas deep, but chaste.

“You make me blush.” Cas said as he touched Dean’s forehead with his own.

“Imagine if that girls’ school managed to find out you’re officially canon.” Sam began to tease. “The musical they’d be making out of that.” Jess punched Sam’s arm.

“Now now, baby. Don’t tease.” Jess said.

“Brothers are supposed to tease each other, Jessie. Don’t worry, it’s a Winchester family tradition.” Sam said.

“Pranks and teasing.” Dean confirmed. “Hot dogs are up.” Dean said as he put them on a plate after cooking them on a grill. Miracle whined as he smelled the hot dogs and Dean threw one to the dog. “There you go, Miracle.” He said.

“Apple pie life really suits you, Dean.” Jess said.

“Thanks, Jess. Congratulations on the baby, by the way. I can’t wait to be an uncle.” Dean said with a smile.

“Thanks, Dean.” Jess said as she hugged him.

Life was sweet. Not just because of the burgers either.

..............................................................................................................................

When Sam and Jess had left, Cas was cleaning up and putting food away. Dean had decided to help after cleaning the grill. However, his help was beyond drying while Cas washed.

“I missed cuddling with you this morning.” Dean said. “I bought you more pectin for your next batch of Blackberry jam you like to make so much.”

“That’s thoughtful of you, Dean.” Cas said as he got lost in washing the dishes. Once they finished washing and drying, Dean pulled him into a dance, putting on a song they first listened to when they officially moved into their new home.

“But I can see how strong a man I’m gonna have to be to do for you what comes so naturally, it’s in the way you move.” Dean softly sang to Cas as he twirled the love of his life around the living room floor. Cas giggled giddily.

“Dean, why so sappy today?” Cas asked when they took a break.

“Cas, to finally let you know after all this time how much you mean to me? I thought I was gonna lose you and with Jack visiting on occasion, I feel we should have a more official title to what we are.” Dean said as he knelt down and pulled out a box. Inside was a honeybee shaped ring with stripes of Citron and Obsidian and Diamond eyes and wings. Cas was in awe at the look of it once Dean opened the box.

“Castiel, I come to you as a man, no more or less, with the hope that I can take your hand in marriage and we can make each other honest men until death parts us.” Dean said as he handed Cas the ring box.

“Oh Dean, it’s beautiful. It had to have cost a forturne.” Cas said.

“Not at all. I know an expert jeweler in town, he was able to get the materials together for the occasion.” Both men began to cry. “Will you marry me, Castiel?” Dean asked.

“Yes.” Cas said as Dean took the ring out of the box and put it on Cas’s hand, then they kissed deeply. They then spent the rest of the night celebrating in a lot of ways. Not only their engagement, but the start of what’s to come in their future.

The End

#supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #jack kline #miracle the dog

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esperwatchesfilms · 4 years ago

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Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)

Time for one I know a good friend of mine enjoys. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen it with him, but it’s also possible I slept through it at the time. I love Alan Tudyk, so theoretically, I should love this.

I think it’s super brilliant that the clerk is listing the items back to Tucker and while he’s not the focus, he throws things in the list like “lubricated condoms” and “feminine napkins”.

“You’re a good-looking man, more or less!”

Awww poor Dale. I wanna hug him.

Chubby’s Chili Dog Depot! HOT DIGGITY DOG!

I really feel bad for falling asleep now. I love this. I mean, I felt bad before. I must’ve been very tired, though. I love watching things with people, but if I’m too comfy, I fall asleep.

Oh my gods, these college students are the biggest morons.

Dale is so fucking sweeeeeet!!!!

I love the misunderstandings. It makes me so happy.

Allison is awesome, and I love that she says, “I think major problems are usually caused by lack of communication.” So true, dude. So true.

But why are you friends with ultra judgmental people, lady? I mean, I understand desperation, but holy hell, that girl would not have problems making friends that are better than this polo-wearing, collar-up dick biscuit.

OH MY GOD!!! DALE IS SINGING “CIRCLE CIRCLE DOT DOT”!!!!!! AAAAAAH I LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

youtube

Oh nooooo!! STUPID COLLEGE KIDS! They’re scaring poor Tucker and Dale! HIDE THE SHARP OBJECTS!!

SEE, DICK BISCUIT!? Even your friend calls you a dickwad. OH, AND OF COURSE DICK BISCUIT’S NAME IS CHAD.

DON’T YOU DARE HURT THAT DOG. I SWEAR TO GOD, CHAD DICK BISCUIT, I WILL END YOU.

Talk about miscommunication. This is some Shakespeare-With-Rednecks-Shit.

Why would they not question the “psycho killer” running away? Would they not realize these two clearly don’t mean them harm!? WHAT THE HELL!?

WHAT DID HE DO TO TUCKER?!

“THEY CUT OFF HIS BOWLING FINGERS!” What the FUCK is the matter with this sadistic freak?

“I’m glad I’m not hung like a bear.” -- I love this.

Shut up, Chad. I hate you.

GO GET THAT FUCKER, DALE. Get this little college dickhead!

DON’T KISS HER. STOP. EW. I HATE YOU.

Get this fucker, Dale!! GET HIM!!!!! MURDER HIS STUPID UGLY TWO-FACE-LOOKIN’-ASS!

“Bring it, Frat Bitch!”

Of COURSE the kid is the murderer’s kid. I knew it!

Awwww Daaaaale <3 I LOVE THIS!

THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOD, OMFG.

ESE: 93/100

50 +5 for “Last Chance Gas” +3 for “feminine napkins” and “lubricated condom” background list items +10 because I just love Dale’s face. So there. +7 for Chubby’s Chili Dog Depot +2 for smoking, then inhaler -5 for probably THEE most idiotic college students +10 for cutie one-eyed pupper named Jangers +3 for Allie being so sweet to Dale -5 for the bees. Because fuck bees. +25 for “Circle Circle Dot Dot” -10 for idiotic kids getting people killed -10 for Chad +5 for Dale helping with the safety -10 for Chad pointing a gun at Jangers +7 for Dale crying -50 for Chad again because I just seriously hate this guy. +60 for Allison +10 for wholesome Tucker -20 for Dale’s insecurity +2 for Allison’s clumsiness -10 for the disgusting feeling Chad kissing Allie causes me +5 for “Bring it, Frat Bitch!” +2 for Allie’s outfit this whole movie practically +3 for bendy straws +4 for Allie’s pink helmet

#Tucker and Dale #tucker and dale vs evil #Tucker #Dale #Alan Tudyk #Tyler Labine #Comedy #Movies #Films #world record #circle circle dot dot #movie reviews #comedy and tragedy of errors

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gemstoneconstellations · 5 years ago

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Puppers

Summary: Werewolf Bakugo moves to the city and has a neighbor who really likes dogs.

Wordcount: 3061

Okay, he didn’t plan for this to happen.

It’s not like he’d made the conscious decision to expose himself to you; he just kind of… did. He wasn’t used to living in the city yet and had just wanted to feel the night air in his fur. If he hadn’t had to work early in the morning, he would have gone to the woods. He didn’t even think of checking to make sure no one was on the balcony next to his. Bakugo just opened the back door of his apartment, took off his clothes, and stepped out onto the patio in wolf form.

You on your balcony, watering your plants, was not what he had been hoping for. Bakugo flinched at the sound of a watering can clattering to the floor. “Uh…” You stood there, blinking, as Bakugofroze.He did the first thing that came to mind, and that was to pretend to be a dog.

“Woof?” He gave a hesitant bark. That’s what normal dogs do right? They bark at people? That seemed to snap you out of it and you scrambled to pick up the watering can.

You looked around, leaning over the divider between your balconies to look into Bakugo’s apartment. “Um, I didn’t know you had such a big dog? I didn’t think the landlord would let you have one when she got pissed at me for having a hamster.” Bakugo avoided looking at you as you waited for a response that would never come, lying down on his lounge chair.

He thought that would be the end of it but he could still feel you watching him. Looking up, he saw you looking down at him. He tried to ignore you, looking away at the sky But then he felt fingers going through his fur. He was about to growl at you to stop but….

Next thing he knew, he was leaning against the divider on his hind legs, tail going crazy and your hands deep in his fur, scratching in all the right places. If he’d been in his human form, he would be moaning and making all sorts of embarrassing sounds. Oh that feels so good! What the fuck; why don’t pack members do this shit? Her hands are fucking glorious!

“Well, aren’t you a sweetie?”

And it just got worse from there. After that, every time he saw you out on your patio, he couldn’t resist joining you. He’s barely said two words to you before and now here he is with your fingers behind his ears as he listened to you talk about your day. He would respond in his head but most of the time, he just panted. How the fuck did you know exactly where to pet? Man, fuck being human; if dogs get treated like this, he’d rather be a pet.

He had an easier time dealing with you when he was in his wolf form. But in his human form, when he had to speak to you, not so much…

“Hey, Bakugo. Your dog is really pretty, what’s his name?” Bakugo choked on air as he locked his door. He looked over to see you walking over towards him with groceries in your hand. “He’s super cute and-”

He slammed his hand over your mouth. What kind of idiot says that in the open? “Shut the fuck up! Are you fucking stupid? What if someone hears you?!”

You just raised an eyebrow at him, completely unfazed by his hand over your mouth. “So you didn’t get permission?” Bakugo shook his head at you and pulled his hand away to shush you. You gasped and came closer to him to whisper, “You smuggled in a puppy?”

“He is not a puppy! He’s a full grown adult!” Are you doing this on purpose? Bakugo could feel his tail bristling in his pants leg and tried to take deep, raspy breaths to relax himself.

“Hmm he doesn’t act like it; he gets all cute and cuddly. I just wanna hug him.”

Groans spilled out of Bakugo’s mouth as he rubbed his temples. Somehow, you have been pressing every one of his buttons. You can’t meet any of his idiots, you’d blend in too well with them and become a permanent thing. “Shut up already. You’re giving me a fucking headache. Fuck off.”

Assuming the conversation was over; Bakugo huffed as he walked away and waved you off. He could hear your keys jingle for a moment before your door opened, but it didn’t shut right away. “I’ll meet you on your patio later!”

The wolf froze mid-step. “Hah?!” He looked back at you in horror, pulling down on his hood to make sure it was still in place. Did he fuck up? Had you realized---

But you just smiled at him, your groceries swaying behind you. “You always open the door for your puppy, why don’t you come out and hang with us?”

Ah, that’s what you were getting at. No way. The less contact he has with you, the less chance of getting exposed and possibly endangering his life and others. “Fuck you, I got better things to do! And he’s not a puppy!” He growled the last part and took off running; he was most likely going to be late to practice now because of you. Maybe he should limit his contact with you? Nah, you would probably bug him if you don't regularly see his human or wolf side.

The wolf continued grumbling, not listening to you giggling to yourself. “He sure acts like one.”

After hours of practice and being able to release a lot of pent-up energy and frustration from beating on the drums, he was finally relaxing at home, in his territory with no idiots around. Just him lying back on his couch, a book, the sound of the rain, and his neighbor, who kept peeking over the divider between their balconies… For the last twenty, agonizing minutes.

“For fucks sake.” Bakugo slammed his book shut and stormed over to the door, nearly shattering the glass from the force of him slamming it open. “He’s not coming out, it’s fucking raining! No one likes the smell of wet dog!”

You had the audacity to pout at him, exaggeratingly extending out your lower lip. “How about I come over? I feel off if I don’t get my daily puppy snuggles.” You tried to flutter your lashes at him. Too bad for you, he grew up with the shitty nerd, who had mastered that sad, kicked puppy look that it should be considered a lethal weapon. Your attempt was cute though.

Bakugo growled as he scratched his scalp under his hood. “He’s not a fucking puppy! He’s a full grown adult; left the den and is all on his own! Lone wolf and all that shit!”

“So mean! Puppers seems to like me touching him all over. He rolls over for me and whines when I stop.” You leaned on the divider, your head resting on your hands as you spoke with a teasingly smug tone. He tried not to inhale your scent, which changes slightly every time he saw you. He wondered what you used to smell so good without the chemicals irritating his nose. “Do you pet him enough? He seems aloof but is actually pretty desperate for some affection.”

Heat rushed from his neck up to the top of his head. His claws dug into his palms as he tried to swallow down his embarrassment and he stormed up to you to tell you off in your face. “Hah? Desperate? You’re the one that seems fucking desperate! Begging to pet some stranger’s dog, the fuck is wrong with you?” The surprises kept coming so he really shouldn’t have been surprised that you didn’t react like he thought you would. Instead, you just smiled more, even laughing under your breath. “The hell you smiling about?”

“You came out to talk to me.”

He could feel all his fur standing up as a shiver went through his body. Coughing in his hand, he tried to hide his embarrassment. “You are so stupid. I can’t deal with your shit; you are on the same level as those idiots.”

He turned around to lean against the divider with you, feeling himself giving into your antics. “Who?”

“The group of morons that won’t stop following me. Not my fault they all decided I’d be the one brain cell they share.” Despite him making the choice to leave the pack he’d grown up in on his own, his friends had still followed him, saying that he was the leader of their mini-pack. Where he goes, they go. A small smile snuck up on his face; he couldn’t help it. Till he realized you were watching him.

Bakugo kicked off the wall and stomped back inside his apartment. He glanced back at you for a moment. “Just go inside already, before you get sick.” Door closed and curtains drawn, his nose scrunched up at his own smell. The humidity had seeped into his fur. “Great now, I stink.”

A few days later, the night was finally completely clear, a half-moon shining brightly in the sky. He was out on the balcony earlier than usual in his wolf form, just staring at the sky, feeling slightly homesick. But he wouldn’t admit that out loud.

“Oh hello puppy!” Bakugo jumped at the sudden sound of your voice. You leaned over, trying to peer into his apartment. “Bakugo? Are you there?”

Throwing one leg over the divider, you shouted into the empty apartment. “I’m coming over!”

Instantly, you were on Bakugo, scratching behind his ears and squishing his face against yours. “Who’s a good puppy? You are!” Stupid tail involuntarily moving on its own...

You sat down with the wolf between your legs, arms wrapped around his neck. “There you go. I’ll give you all the love you want.” Fuck you and your miracle hands! Bakugo grumpily glared as you just continued to cuddle him and started to fill him in on how your week had been.

“Your fur is so soft… your owner may not like me, but I’m glad you do.” Bakugo huffed at you. He can’t blame you for thinking that. Stupid human, I don’t hate you. I don’t know how to act around you. Too happy all the time…which isn’t a bad thing. He leaned against you, pushing you to continue petting him. Just continue petting me, dumb human, feel honored since I don’t let anyone else. You giggled into his fur,your fingers going back to work, making him croon and his tail wag crazily.

Bakugo’s time with you was suddenly interrupted by his front door being unlocked and a big, red-headed idiot storming in, with the blonde idiot close behind. “Hey Blasty! Guess what? We got a gig-” The room went completely still as everyone took each other in.

You were the first one to speak up. “Uh, hi? Are you friends of Bakugo? I think he stepped out earlier.”

“Eichan? Are you okay?” Oh fuck, now Deku had entered the room and his eyes landed on you suspiciously. “Who are you?”

“I’m Bakugo’s neighbor who likes to pet his puppy.” To emphasize your point, you pulled Bakugo into your arms and his traitorous body relaxed under your touch before he could even try to control himself.

“P-P-Puppy?! Ka-Kacchan?!” It seems the nerd had only just now noticed Bakugo sitting beside you. Deku lost all the color in his face as he waited for Bakugo’s typical reaction, while the other two had to hide their faces, Kaminari buried in his hands and Kirishima in the crook of Deku’s neck, their shoulders shaking with laughter.

Bakugo growled at his pack mates’ reactions, but was stopped by fingers rubbing through his fur. “Oh, so that’s your name. It’s so cute, perfect for a puppy like you. I’ll be sure to tease Bakugo for it later.” He completely melted into you, the fight leaving his body. “Kacchan.” Your hot breath rushed against his ear, making it twitch and his tail began to wag like crazy again. Another snort came from the three stooges still standing in the doorway.

That’s it. Will all of his willpower, he ripped himself away from you and ran to his bedroom. Quickly shoving on sweatpants, he shouted as he ran back into the living room. “You fuckers! Get the fuck out and give me my god damn key!”

Pushing the three of them out into the hall, Bakugo was about to slam the door in their faces when Kaminari spoke up. “Oh but Bakugo, we wanted to play with the puppy too.” Kirishima and Kaminari both laughed together while Deku just sighed at them, thinking that they’d earned what was going to happen next.

“I’m going to kill you idiots!” Before the two could pull away, Bakugo grabbed both of them by their throats and pulled them centimeters away from his murderous glare. His claws dug into the back of their necks, showing how serious he was. “I know fucking Deku isn’t dumb enough to say anything, but if you two so as mention it, I will force feed you your own fucking eyeballs so you can watch me claw out your organs! Got it?”

“Got it!” The two of them yelped in agreement. “Never again!”

“Now leave.” He tossed them away from him so Deku could lead the two dumb alphas away. Bakugo slammed his door shut and made sure it was locked before turning back to you still sitting on his balcony. “And you! Go home.”

He stormed over to you and lifted you with ease. “Woah.” You whispered in amazement but he was feeling too angry and embarrassed to really enjoy impressing you and nearly tossed you back onto your side. Not even waiting to see you go inside or try to speak to him, he ran back inside, door locked and curtains pulled.

Once he was finally alone and there was no way anyone could see him, he curled up inside his plush bed under his blankets, wishing for a fast death to save him from the potential continuous embarrassment.

He avoided his balcony for days, his curtains never opened, but he could hear you coming out and waiting for him to only go back inside. Thankful that the gig the idiots had mentioned was coming up soon, he used that as a distraction. It was actually a concert for were-kind only in the woods, with no humans around for miles. Exactly what he needed’ no fear of getting exposed and his tail and ears could be out freely.

The concert was a success. Of course it was; their band was actually pretty good, especially compared to the other musicians there. He knew that this was supposed to bring awareness for local artists of their kind, but they were all mediocre. The rest of his band members were handling talking to the new fans while Bakugo hung back, sitting on the back of Kirishima’s truck as he chugged down water.

Deku came to join him. The nerd was also not great with crowds, but for different reasons. They sat together quietly, to Bakugo’s bliss, but it barely lasted. “So…”

“Don’t.” Bakugo rolled his eyes; he should have known the meddlesome nerd would put his nose where it didn’t belong.

“I was just going to tell you that I do the same thing for Eichan. It’s actually typical for omegas to pamper their alphas like that. So you don’t have to be embarrassed.” The mentioned red-headed alpha turned towards his mate and waved, blowing a kiss as he did. Deku pretended to catch it and press it to his lips. Gag.

Bakugo crushed his now empty water bottle and tossed it into the bed of the truck. “I don’t need some stupid mate to pamper me. She’s nothing but some fucking human who thinks I have a dog. I’m only making sure she doesn’t get suspicious of me.”

Deku tilted his head in confusion. “Human? Um… but Kacchan…” The blonde growled warningly and Deku raised his hands in defeat. “Okay; I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

It was silent between them again, this time with a slightly awkward atmosphere. Bakugo was about to leave when something pink and fluffy zoomed right by him. “Babe!” Mina had launched herself into Kaminari’s arms, wrapping her limbs around him as he spun around. You would think they’d been separated for years instead of just six songs, ergo the dumbest couple to ever live. “Hey guys!” Mina waved to everyone, still clinging to her boyfriend.

Speaking of the idiot, with no consideration of how inappropriate and intimate it was, Kaminari shoved his face into her neck and deeply inhaled her scent in front of everyone. “What’s that smell, Mina? It’s really good.”

“Oh my new friend from work helped me. She makes this lotion that helps with that nasty wet dog smell. Humans don’t ask if I have a dog anymore! It’s so nice and not overpowering.” She pointed behind her to where she had come from and that was when he finally saw you, making Bakugo jump to his feet.

Bakugo didn’t know what to do, body frozen in place as his brain processed the fact that you were there and what he should do next. His first instinct was to hide his tail and run. But Mina’s words began to sink in as he spotted a tail swaying behind you and ears on the top of your head. “Hello, Kacchan.” No hesitation, you walked right up to him with a mischievous smile.

“You knew…” He crumbled to the ground, groaning and hiding his burning face in his hands.

“The whole time, Puppers.” You hummed as you squatted down with him. He could hear your tail speeding up, either out of enjoyment of his pain or the fact he didn’t pull away from your touch. Fingers ran through his hair, massaging his scalp the same way you usually did and he easily turned into putty for you. He slowly raised his eyes towards you; of course you had a big smile on your face. “Awe, why are getting shy now? You’ve already had my hands all over you.”

“Shut up.” He’ll get you back… later.

#bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #werewolf bakugo #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #fluffy #just like him

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