#shrinking 2x4

[djkerr]

I'm glad you came in here.

Shrinking 02x04 Made You Look

Shrinking (2023-present) Made You Look (S02E04)

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[Talking about Nicks pranks] Nick is like he's fucking fantastic at it. -Lamorne

[poem-today]

A poem by Brian Brodeur

THE CARPENTER'S TALE

There's going to be an accounting. And it'll be the weird stats that come out of somewhere. And this is one of the stranger ones.

—Kerry Breen, This American Life, 8/13/2021

Most of us laughed at being called "essential" in those first weeks of New York's quarantine. We'd grease a hinge or patch a rotten sill,

replacing sunk beams under a snack machine, painting classrooms. Though it felt like cheating, I'd never seen the schools look so pristine.

Then, in April, at our team meeting, our boss clears his throat and his voice softens. Putting down the cruller he's been eating,

he says, "Next week, we start building coffins." One of us laughs. Another spills his coffee. I tell my boss, "Get out of here. Build coffins."

He looks up from his clipboard and glares at me, then gives us all the plans his boss gave him: "We'll be building coffins for the city."

On Monday, I show up at this school gym outfitted as a shop. On cinderblocks, beside the bleachers with the lights turned dim,

our prototype: a six-foot plywood box standing on its end where the feet would be. Above the prototype and scoreboard clocks,

a championship banner's "Victory" had begun to sag where flags of UN nations cling to the ceiling. Under Germany,

we set up cutting and assembly stations, a place where we can urethane the boards. Electricians rig fans for ventilation

and 10 of us plug in extension cords. We stack up drafts of plywood on the floor— a draft is 50 sheets. Our only words

concern the lack of Mets and Yankees scores, how hot the gym gets, who brought Gatorade. We run through 2x4s and they bring more—

wash, rinse, repeat. I mean, we're getting paid, but after so long it occurs to me: My god, they really need this many made?

No one gives us an end. We build 150, stacking them from one side of the gym to the other, five coffins high—no one can see

above the shrink-wrapped freight pallets of them. I back the forklift into the elevator and drive down Concourse near the stadium

and down another street to a tractor trailer. The forklift's so slow people honk at me. Honk at a guy carrying coffins—or

scream at me to move. This goes on three weeks. I find it—I don't know—bizarre, I guess, not one person ever stops to ask me

what I'm doing, everyone obsessed with toilet paper. Then, passing on foot, a guy who speaks Spanish stops to zip his vest 

and says, "Morte," finger-slicing his throat. "Sí," I say, and he just shakes his head and walks away. I slam the trailer shut.

Our team built 450 in the end, and there were other teams in other districts across the whole Department of Ed.

No one I tell has ever heard of this. Why would they? Not exactly good PR— Guess what we used schools for. You'll never guess. …

But now that things are waning, more and more I feel alright, like I can let it out. It wasn't war—if it had been a war

we'd know what happened, what it was about, how much we'd lost, what people did out there. I'm sure someone will make a final count,

and we'll deal with each last expenditure, but that's years off, and this is not a war.

Brian Brodeur

More poems by Brian Brodeur are available through his website.

[afaimsarrowverse]

250(ish) Favorite Arrowverse Episodes: Part 9: 50-26

Picked from „Arrow“, „Black Lightning“, „Supergirl“, „Legends of Tomorrow“, „The Flash“, „Barwoman“ Season 1+2 and „Superman & Lois“ Season 1+2. I did consider kicking „Superman & Lois“ of this list, but since it pretended to be part of the Arrowverse for its first two seasons I left it on here.

  50.  The Last Children of Krypton (Supergirl 2x2)

22, Written by: Robert Rovner, Caitlin Parrish, Directed by: Glen Winter

 "A Kryptonite-charged cyborg almost killed Kara! Almost killed me!"

 49.  Prochnost (Arrow 8x5)

165, Written by: Benjamin Raab, Deric A. Hughes, Directed by: Laura Belsey

 "That is the thing about teaching. It's not about what you want to say. It's about what they need to hear. Remember first thing I taught you?" "Living is not for the weak." "Your children are not weak, Oliver. They're also not children. Whatever it is you have to say, they can handle it. If you do not, they will never learn to be heroes."

 48.  State V Queen (Arrow 2x7)

30, Written by: Marc Guggenheim, Drew Z. Greenberg, Directed by: Bethany Rooney

 "Oliver. Is it okay if I call you 'Oliver'? Surprised to hear from me, right? Not as surprised as I was. You see, I find this not unattractive blonde, getting all up in my business. And what does she have on her? A Queen Consolidated I.D. badge. Now, I think to myself, why does that name ring a bell? Oliver Queen. He tried to buy off me last year, just before the Hood put me in a padded cell. Ipso facto, Arrow."

 47.  Lian Yu (Arrow 5x23)

115, Written by: Wendy Mericle, Marc Guggenheim, Directed by: Jesse Warn

 "You won. Your son has his father back, and he learned exactly who his father was. Just like you learned who your father was right here... on these very same waters."

 46.  Going Rogue (The Flash 1x4)

4, Written by: Geoff Johns, Kai Yu Wu, Directed by: Glen Winter

 "Believe me. It took much more than seeing Oliver do the salmon ladder for me to trust him. I've seen firsthand what this life can do to people. It's a lonely path. Don't make it any lonelier than it has to be."

 45.  Shogun (Legends of Tomorrow 2x3)

19, Written by: Phil Klemmer, Grainne Godfree, Directed by: Kevin Tancharoen

 "Guys, bottom line is, if the Shogun has the A.T.O.M. suit, it's not just Masako and the village we have to protect. He can use it to conquer the whole region."

 44.  Tricksters (The Flash 1x17)

17, Written by: Andrew Kreisberg, Directed by: Ralph Hemecker

 "I've had 20 years to come up with the perfect trick. It's going to be my masterpiece. My Mona Lisa. My Breaking Bad season five."

 43.  Crucible (Arrow 2x4)

27, Written by: Andrew Kreisberg, Wendy Mericle, Directed by: Eagle Egilsson

 "Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. I'm guessing yours was that island. Most believe there are two types of people who go intro a crucible; the ones who grow stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. But there's a third type: the ones who learn to love the fire. They choose to stay in their crucible because it's easier to embrace the pain when it's all you know anymore. That's why I'm on the clock to help this city. Before it becomes used to living like this."

42.  Moonshot (Legends of Tomorrow 2x14)

30, Written by: Grainne Godfree, Directed by: Kevin Mock

 "We're both scientists. We're both obsessed with achieving the impossible. You dedicated your life to learning how to shrink yourself down to the size of an atom, and I spent mine learning the secrets of the Speed Force." "I became the Atom to help people."

41.  All Star Team Up (The Flash 1x18)

18, Written by: Grainne Godfree, Kai Yu Wu, Directed by: Kevin Tancharoen

 "I thought that Wells was a great man and I was so wrong."

 40.  The Reverse-Flash Returns (The Flash 2x11)

34, Written by: Aaron and Todd Helbing, Directed by: Michael Allowitz

 "There's nothing you can do about it. This is his origin story, and it's going to happen no matter what you do."

 39.  Flashpoint (The Flash 3x1)

47, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Andrew Kreisberg, Brooke Roberts, Directed by: Jesse Warn

 "You know what you have to do. You have to take me back to that night and let me finish what I started." "You go to Hell!" "You're taking both of us there! Now who's the villain, Flash?! Now who's the villain?!"

 38.  Doomworld (Legends of Tomorrow 2x16)

Written by: Ray Utarnachitt, Sarah Hernandez, Directed by: Mairzee Almas

"Well, it looks like you losers managed to remember who you are. I should've wiped you from existence when I had the chance! Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to know that Merlyn was right?! Lucky for you I believe in some fates worse than death, like me destroying the Spear and cementing this reality for all time."

37.  Enter Flashtime (The Flash 4x15)

84, Written by: Todd Helbing, Sterling Gates, Directed by: Greogry Smith

 "Well, I'm sorry, Jay. If this is the only way to save everyone in the city, I have to."

 36.  Infantino Street (The Flash 3x22)

68, Written by: Andrew Kreisberg, Grainne Godfree, Directed by: Michael Allowitz

 "Piece of advice: stop trying to beat Savitar at his own game. Your goodness is your strength. Call me sentimental. Think the Flash should remain a hero."

 35.  Pilot (Superman & Lois 1x1)

1, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Todd Helbing, Directed by: Lee Toland Krieger

 "You think your mom wanted us to move to Smallville and live on the farm?" "It's a simpler life. More time with each other, be part of a community, and now this? I think she felt like this family needs Smallville." "As much as the world needs Superman?"

 34.  Aruba (Legends of Tomorrow 2x17)

33, Written by: Phil Klemmer und Marc Guggenheim, Directed by: Rob Seidenglanz

 "Guys, I think we broke time."

 33.  Pilot (The Flash 1x1)

1, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Andrew Kreisberg, Geoff Johns, Directed by. David Nutter

 You can do this, Barry. You were right. I am responsible for all of this. So many people have been hurt because of me, and when I looked at you, all I saw was another potential victim of my hubris. And yes, I created this madness, but you, Barry, you can stop it. You can do this. Now run, Barry, run!"

 32.  Fellowship of the Spear (Legends of Tomorrow 2x15)

31, Written by: Keto Shimizu, Matthew Maala, Directed by: Ben Bray

 "Now that the Spear is whole, it will try to lure each of us to use it. It will draw on our weaknesses, our desires, our regrets. It will promise each of us that we can re-make the world just as we want it."

 31.  Flash Back (The Flash 2x17)

40, Written By: Aaron Helbing, Todd Helbing, Directed By: Alice Troughton

"Just one thing that occurs to me, I don't need you, do I? Not this you certainly. Oops, you probably should have thought of that before you came back here. Shame... you ran all the way back here just to die."

30.  The Last Temptation of Barry Allen Part 1 (The Flash 6x7)

121, Written By: Jonathan Butler, Gabriel Garza, Directed By: Chad Lowe

 "My name Is Iris West-Allen, and I once met a young man - a superhero - who I called the Streak. The world has come to know him as the Fastest Man Alive, the Scarlet Speedster. The Flash. But no matter what title you choose for him, he'll always be remembered as the protector of our amazing city and it's citizens, as a beacon of hope for us all, and as the man who sacrificed himself again and again so we could live. Today we say goodbye to him. Today we say goodbye to him, not because he was taken but because he gave himself willingly. And in the end, that's what makes him deserving of the greatest title of all: Hero."

 29.  The Once and Future Flash (The Flash 3x19)

65, Written by: Carina Adly MacKenzie, Directed By: Tom Cavanagh

 "Cisco told me – or showed me – that you all haven't been a team in a long time. And I know that I'm the reason for that. Iris' death shouldn't have driven me away from you all. I mean, it should've driven me closer. This isn't what she would want. But I'm here now to tell you that no matter what happens in the past, I will not abandon you."

 28.  The Adventures of Supergirl (Supergirl 2x1)

21, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Andrew Kreisberg, Jessic Queller, Directed by: Glen Winter

 "You know, what's funny is, on Krypton, by my age, I'd be a spinster. I know it seems like I should have everything figured out by now, but I don't. Last year, was all about figuring out how to be Supergirl, and now... now it's time I figure out how to be Kara."

 27.  Nora (The Flash 5x1)

93, Written By: Todd Helbing, Sam Chalsen, Directed by: David McWhirter

 "My name is Nora West-Allen, and I'm the fastest woman alive. When I was a child, my father disappeared in something impossible. Then I grew up and became the impossible. Now I'm trying to live up to the legacy he created so that one day, I'll stop him from ever disappearing. I'm XS. How schway is that?"

 26.  The Brave and the Bold (Arrow 3x8)

54, Written by: Greg Berlanti, Andrew Kreisberg, Marc Guggenheim, Grainne Godfree, Directed by: Jesse Warn

 "Sometimes bravery isn't enough; sometimes the world requires us to be bold."

[djkerr]

...G, you deserve to be happy.

Shrinking 02x04 Made You Look

Shrinking (2023-present) Made You Look (S02E04)

[raynebowrayne]

The earth is dying.

We probably didn't do it.

We probably won't be able to stop it.

We can stop it.

But we probably won't.

Everything we associate with global climate change is due to only one thing. The hole in the ozone layer.

We discovered it in the 1970s we heard all about it in the 80s and 90s but we stopped hearing about it in the new millenia. It doesn't even get a passing mention these days.

I want you to think of a soap bubble - like the kind you blow through a wand as a kid, a really big one.

Bigger.

Bigger.

The size of our ozone layer.

See all those swirls of color on the surface of the giant soap bubble? See how they're constantly in motion? That's our atmosphere. Those swirls of color are winds carrying moisture and chemicals and particulates all over the globe. Storms form when two large and powerful winds that are both heavy with moisture slam into each other in the atmosphere.

We found a giant hole in the soap bubble. Imagine blowing a soap bubble on a bubble wand very carefully so it doesn't blow off. Imagine blowing it really big. Bigger. Bigger - you get the picture? Now Imagine you stop blowing. What happens? The bubble shrinks, right?

So, what I'm saying is, we're spewing atmosphere into space. We have been for a long time. Thankfully, we're creating atmosphere at a pace that almost matches the speed at which we're spewing it. Almost. But not quite.

10,000 years ago the Sahara desert was lush and green and bursting with life.

25,000 years ago the American southwest was green and lush, too - Las Vegas back then was a lot like the Amazon rainforest is now.

We have to close the hole.

But the hole is the only thing stopping us from suffocating in all the pollution we're producing.

We're venting water into space. A small amount, yes. But water isn't a renewable resource. Not at the rate we're losing it.

We need to thicken the ozone layer to keep the planet from drying up but if we do that we and a lot of other species might die from pollution... we don't know how thick the ozone layer was before the hole formed... but it had to be thicker than it is.

We can create ozone - we can close the hole.

We can end the climate crisis and stabilize both the climate and the weather(for the most part). Imagine a world with no tornados, no hurricanes, no droughts, no blizzards... it's possible.

We have to end fossil fuels as an energy source. If we don't we will literally destroy the entire eco system and kill ourselves and millions of other species. The world will recover. It'll take a few million years - but it will recover. Our species won't be here to see it. Because if we don't end fossil fuels we'll choke the surface of the planet to death on pollution. Land, water - too polluted to grow most plants or support much life in the form of a very few species from which many new species will evolve by the time the ecosystem recovers from fossil fuel damage.

We can do it. We can end fossil fuels and begin healing the ozone layer. We can do it in the next 10 years with enough money invested in it.

It'd cost a few billion dollars to get started. Maybe 50 people on the planet could afford to pay for it out of their pocket and not really miss the cost of saving us all. Don't hold your breath waiting for one to step up.

How can one rich person save the world? By replacing fossil fuels with free energy. It's not a myth. It's entirely workable.

First you need a powerful magnet. I recommend a N52 or higher neodymium magnet. Make it 2 inches thick 4 inches tall and 8 inches long. It should be magnetized so that one of the 2x4 ends is positively and the other is negatively charged.

Take a ring of pure iron that is 5 inches tall, 1 - 2" thick, and has an inside diameter of about 10 inches and coat it in gold. Inside the inner portion of the ring you're going to place blocks of copper with a wire attachments on the ends, in place of traditional coils(I'll call these "coils" from here on out but they aren't really traditional coils). There should be 8 of these coils, and they should be 4 inches tall about an inch thick and 2 inches wide... it's not a bad idea to coat them in gold for longevity... they should be positioned so that they line up perfectly with the top and bottom of the 2x4 ends of the magnet and are about 1/2" from the top and bottom of the inside of the ring. They should be attached to the ring using a method to ensure maximum conductivity.

The magnet should have slightly rounded ends so that it fits inside this ring of coils and comes within a hair's breadth of touching them. It should be attached via a brace in the center of an axel so that it can spin perfectly centered inside the coils while not quite touching them. I'll call this metal ring, coil, and magnet on an axel device the "core" from here on out.

This axel with the magnet atrached to it should be driven by a 1 or 2 Kw e-bike type brushless electric motor.

The motor should be driven by a controller box, like an e-bike controller which should be powered by a 48v or higher lifepo4 battery with at least 100 to 200 amp hours capacity and a fairly fast charging speed.

By elevating the core and using a large gear on the axel we can use a small gear on the motor to give more torque and make it easier to prevent overheating the core or the motor.

The coils should be attached to wires that connect them to a voltage regulator/transformer that can regulate the wild electricity produced by the core and transform it into a 50 or 60ghz 120 or 240v feed...whatever matches the local power feed for the region its intended to be used in.

If my calculations are correct that whole set up: the core, the motor, the battery, the transformer box( I call all of that in one device my "generator") should produce enough electricity to run at least 1 to 5 houses, depending on their size and what not, without ever having a brown out moment. If tied to the grid all excess power can be shunted down the line and used for things like traffic signals and street lights. If every house has this as it's energy source and we scale this up a bit to match the needs of any building... any car, any ship, any train, any jet even... we can end fossil fuels.

To keep the battery charged the charger should be able to charge it at its maximum safe charge speed, which will make it so the battery can keep powering the motor while it charges. Side note: program the charger to only kick on when the battery reaches 10 - 25% capacity and kicks off at 100% to extend the life of the battery.(the charger plugs right into any outlet and should be left plugged in at all times.)

So why would it take billions? To set up the manufacturing centers and start producing these on a massive scale.

Sell them for 3 - 5x overhead until the cost of setting everything up is recouped then drop it to 2x overhead, flat, and you'd be a trillionaire before you died of old age if you're under 60 now - even if you split the profits with me.

The problem is that replacing fossil fuels only solves the choking to death on pollution issue, it doesn't solve the ozone issue.

That's the expensive part.

You'd need to use this generator to power ozone generators. You'd need to build a network of steel towers across a huge swath of Antarctica, right in the center where noting lives or roams. Imagine the Eiffel Tower, but instead of that iconic rotunda thing at the top, imagine a giant steel toilet brush made of rebar. Now pack those towers together in such a way that when you add massive amounts of electricity to those rebar bristles they spark off of each other - basically creating an ocean of lightning a hundred or more feet off the ground. Of course, each tower would require its own generator or bank of generators and it/they would need to be inside a structure (built between the base feet of the tower) that's not easily damaged by cold - fireproof helps, too.

Ozone is formed by electrical discharge in air. The only way to make enough to patch up the hole in the ozone layer and rethicken the ozone layer in time to prevent catastrophe is to create this massive field of lightning generating towers.

If you want to save the world build the generators, build the towers, end fossil fuels, generate ozone.

I've worked on this problem since I was a kid - over 30 years now. I don't have the money to build my generator. I have no choice but to give it away like this because I'll never have the money to build it. But we need it.

Our planet IS dying. We didn't cause it, I don't think, but we can fix it.

My generator, one rich person, and a whole lot of steel can save the planet.

If you've got the money, build it.

Save us.

Get even filthy-rich-er.

I'll answer any questions you have about any part of the device, just message me.

I'm giving up my life's work and every dream I ever had, right here and right now, in this post - in hopes that somehow, someday, someone will build the generator and the lightning field and save the world.

[ssemicharmedlivingg]

Adenocarcinoma

Not the word you want to hear at the doctor. Cancer. The doctors spent all week basically reassuring me that it wasn't cancer--this is normal presentation of a bad Crohn's flare. Instead I spent the time crying over the section of my bowel that needs to be redirected. My biggest fear finally come to life, and at 31. Much earlier than I was thinking. Then, Friday morning, the doctor's voice, and it's changed.

He had been so sure before. But he seemed very sure of my new prognosis. Chemo and radiation to shrink the tumor, possible operation. 6 to 9 months, no more cancer. Maybe no more bowel, but definitely no more cancer. This was two days ago; I've since gotten another CT scan and an MRI, which I've gotten very little information on. Weekends at hospitals are basically useless if you're looking for answers/treatment. Thankfully the past two days have been full of visitors to keep my mind occupied. Tomorrow's gonna be the difficult one. It's just dad and me, and the doctor teams are coming. Surgery, oncology, gastroenterology. God knows who else. Having to navigate with a skeptic in the room--I already need Ativan. Maybe a 2x4 to the dome.

The assuredness I've exhibited the past few days is wearing off. I've received such an outpouring of love from friends and family--my windowsill is covered in gifts and snacks and flowers. It's a tad overwhelming. The whole thing is. Being the one with the big scary sickness, assuring people that it'll be okay. I'm gonna kick its ass. Having people give you money and discuss fundraisers. Strange, strange, strange. But there was motion and conversation and it was easier to be distracted. Now I'm alone in a hospital room with my thoughts. Well, not fully alone. I do have entertainment (currently streaming You're the Worst on the borrowed tablet, while I type on the borrowed laptop), and there's the bedtime Ativan beginning to swim in my brain. So thankfully the spiral can be held off for now.

What if, though? What if the MRI is worse? What if the tumor doesn't shrink? What if what if what if.

I've spent the last 8 months basically wishing I would die. I had no idea my body was listening to me. Now I have to save it. I don't have a choice. Part of me is optimistic; maybe this is exactly what I needed to change my life, my perspective. But part of me is the normal, pessimistic me; this is yet another shitty (pun intended) hurdle I have to deal with in this miserable life.

I wanted to start a blog while I was feeling positive (currently I am neither positive nor negative, just floating); documenting this seems important to me. I do want to stick with it, I do. I had planned on just a new blog, but stumbled upon this one that I started well over 5 years ago, and for some reason it felt right to continue it. Ominous? Possibly. But here we are. I really do hope I maintain the willlpower.

February 18, 2024

[zoohouseart]

An idea of how Ed Edd n Eddy's cast may appear as adults. I wrote a bio for each one too.

Ed: Married May Kanker right out of high school, had 26 kids all named after monster movies (all of which he's VERY protective of). Spends a simple life working on tree-lifting and mine digging, bathes in gravy every night. Misses Edd and Eddy a whole, whole lot. Unfortunately doesn't see them often, since they moved further into the city while he stayed in the cul-de-sac.

Edd (Double D): Cleaned his act, got the girl, gained a master's in science and engineering, became a teacher, and yet STILL isn't happy or widely respected. Has yet to fully address his long standing anxiety of taking off his hat. Cannot let himself catch a break as he stresses daily about getting the bills paid. Wishes there was more to life than this ever-revolving door of monotony.

Eddy: Flunked out of college. Works as an errand boy for the mayor of Peach Creek and "oversees productivity". Secretly continues to feed his compulsions to scam and gamble at any chance he can get. Spends his every evening dreaming of the day where HE's the mayor, and scheming up ideas he'll never enact (unless..). Often complains that jawbreakers aren't as big as they used to be.

Nazz: Lives a bohemian life, praying someday her time to shine will glisten once more as an "influencer" but works retail in the meantime. Mooches off her fiancée Edd and tries to make up for it in emotional (and erm, well, physical) support. Is struggling with the idea that she peaked in high school, but will never admit it. Mockingly called "Double Z" by Eddy, though she doesn't mind.

Kevin: Is the mayor of Peach Creek. Won this view through pure charisma and good word as the football king of Peach Creek High and general "best at everything", but is often these days fumbling the ball on keeping the streets safe and clean. Is now friends with Eddy, or at least he likes to think so. Is sad he didn't make it into pro league, and will sulk about it when noone's looking.

Sarah: Took up the job of being a shrink (specifically in anger management), and a general town do-gooder. She's often, even if obnoxiously, asking to help others. Has really turned her life around from her loudmouthed, vicious childhood and make up for her past cruelties.. but has mostly done so just to repress her unbridled rage bubbling inside. Whatever you do, don't bring up Jimmy in front of her.

Jimmy: Sarah and Jimmy were conjoined to the hip practically forever, until the day his braces came off. Once he did, he got the call from Hollywood for his incredible acting chops, and ditched his BFF without a second thought. People often tour Peach Creek to see his hometown, much to the chagrin of everyone there. Is a real piece of work these days and could use a nice ass whooping.

Rolf: Grew to be a mighty farmer, creating a titanic cattle industry. Used his profits to buy a massive chunk of Peach Creek and turn it into "New Yergosluvia", so his old country family could live nearby. There he resides as it's king, and frequently feuds with old friend Kevin. Wears Victor's pelt in honor of his life-long servitude to a son of a shepherd (Victor passed peacefully in his sleep).

Johnny 2x4: MIA. As the Eds became more accepted, Johnny became the new misfit. One day, tragedy suddenly struck Plank in senior year of high school, and Johnny was never seen again. There's urban legends of crudely drawn faces appearing on the trees around the old cul-de-sac they grew up in. Ed swears he's seen one tree move. But that's crazy Ed for you. …Right?

May Kanker: Spends her days mostly exhausted from having to take care of 26 children, and hardly ever leaves the house. When she's not trying to drown out the kids with a cranked up TV, she's spending every other hour gossiping about occurrences across the city with her sisters.. though there's not a lot of time between that and cleaning up shit smeared on the walls.

Marie Kanker: Was expelled from Peach Creek High School for stalking Edd and threatening harm on Nazz. She now spends her days as a forum rat on doxxing related message boards, betwixt a day job of driving a garbage truck, where she mostly rides around town spying on people and scribbling down their whereabouts. She too spends all remaining hours gossiping with her sisters.

Lee Kanker: Was mid-planning on going to college and had her life all figured out to be a part of law enforcement until she was unexpectedly locked up for "illegal wood burning". She swears she was framed but has no idea who could've done it. She's usually calling her sisters, but occasionally talks with Eddy. She's not interested in him anymore; they just like to shoot the shit sometimes.

[facelessoldgargoyle]

Hi, i saw your wonderful work in binding podcast transcripts, and as I've been trying to to the same to the audio transcripts of tma, I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions.

How do you print and bind the pages together?

How many pages can you bind together in a book?

Around how much does the whole process cost?

Thank you so much for your time!

I got into binding books because my partner @scoliosiswidowmaker wanted to print out an unpublished web serial (Worm) to read on the plane, and it ended up being a lot easier than I expected! Frankly I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk about it, so thank you lol.

There are a lot of tutorials out there about how to sew pages together, and that has the advantage of the pages being able to lay flat. I decided that would be a lot of work. Instead, I do perfect binding, which involves clamping the pages together and pasting a couple layers of glue on the spine. I use two 2x4’s and two big screw clamps from Ace Hardware as my book press, to hold the pages together, and that cost about $15 total.

I’ve tried a couple different types of glue. Super glue worked fine but fucked up my fingers. There was a type of all purpose glue, E600 I think, that we tried that stunk so bad we had to bind books out on the porch, and some of the books still smell bad lol. My favorite glue is this craft glue that comes in a pen with a broad applicator tip. It dries thickly, which makes sticking the pages to the spine of the cover easier.

[image ID: screenshot of Tombow Aqua Mono Liquid Craft Glue. It costs $3.19 /end ID]

I format the transcript in Google docs, download the document as a pdf, and then print-to-pdf as a booklet. This automatically formats the pages so that they’ll be in order if you fold the stack of paper in half. However! This process shrinks your text, rather than scale it, which means that if you want your final product to be 11pt font, you need to format it using 22pt font.

[image ID: screenshot of print screen with booklet option highlighted /end ID]

When my partner started, they printed the books at UPS, since we didn’t have a printer. This cost approximately $10 per hundred pages, but UPS will also tell you on their website what the cost per page is. When it became clear that we wanted to keep binding books as a hobby, we bought a printer. The first printer was $60 from Cannon and it misprinted often enough that we returned it for one with a automatic double-sided printing for $100. Seriously, that printer misprinted the silt verses 3 times. I cried over that thing. Now printing costs probably $4 per hundred pages, given the fact that a 500 sheaf of paper costs $7.50 and a $20 ink cartridge will print around 600 pages. Much cheaper and now we don’t have to walk to UPS! If you can afford it, I’d recommend a printer.

So, I bind books with hard covers, by gluing fabric to cardboard that I’ve cut to the right size and then fitting the bound pages into the spine and glueing the start/end pages to the fabric. This means I can make the bindings as big as I want them to be. This means that I haven’t run into a maximum page limit yet.

My partner binds with soft covers. They found a pad of pretty cardstock that’s 12x12”. They can only print books up to around 350 pages (that’s about 175 sheafs of 20lb paper, given that they’re printed double sided.)

In total? The homemade book press cost $15, UPS charged $22 to print Brimstone Valley Mall (200ish double sided pages), the printer cost $100, and it cost about $10 in ink/paper to print The Silt Verses (220ish double sided pages). So I guess I personally have spent about $90 (printer/materials cost divided between me and my partner) to bind 2 books, but from here on out, I expect transcripts to cost $10 to bind. High up front investment, low maintenance cost.

Also, I love picking out front pages from Michaels. God I love fancy paper.

[bizarrelittlemew]

for your gif needs: (hoping this was the moment you meant)

to your last point: Stede does raise his voice in 2x4, and Ed does the opposite of shrink - he sits up and raises his voice too. and Stede lowers his voice and says his little "alright". i'd like to think that even when they're fighting, Ed knows he's safe with Stede

Can't find a gif of this moment to save my life, but I keep getting stuck on how Ed acts when Lucius suddenly yells at him before he pushes him overboard in s2e5.

Lucius has every right to be mad at Ed here, it's very justified, but the way Ed flinches and shrinks in on himself breaks my heart. His body language is very cowed and subdued. Ed clearly doesn't do well with people who he cares about yelling at him - it reminds me of his body language when Izzy first starts yelling at him on s1e10, very still and trying to defuse tension but coming across very awkward and sheepish.

And I'm making myself so sad imagining Ed and Stede getting into a stupid little argument, and Stede raising his voice in frustration, and Ed just absolutely shutting down. These two usually speak so very gently to each other; I don't think it would take long for Stede to make a conscious effort never to raise his voice at Ed in anger. Even if he has to get Ed's attention across the house, he'll make sure to use the gentlest voice he can so Ed knows he's safe and Stede isn't angry with him.

[puppyexpressions]

Tongue Talk: Anatomy of a Dog's Tongue

It's a radiator, a water-lapper, a healer of wounds, a food conveyor, a register of tastes, a texture sensor, and a wet equivalent of a dog's handshake. A dog's tongue has more responsibilities than any other part of the dog anatomy -- excluding the brain.  And oddly enough, for all its duties and actions, it is one of the most maintenance free structures of all the dog's body parts!

Let's take a look at this unique structure and see what we can discover.

On a recent photo shoot with one of my dog trainer/hunter friends, I exposed four rolls of film while he put this three black labs through some off-season training. When I placed the slides on the viewer I was curiously struck by how many action shots captured the charging subjects with their long, flexible tongues literally flopping out there in the breeze.  (I'm talking about the dogs here, not the trainer!)

Almost every photo displayed the dog's tongue completely extended with mouth open wide, fully exposing the airway to the onrushing breeze. After seeing these photos, I was amazed that in my busy small animal practice I wasn't seeing more than just occasional tongue injuries.

With that fleshy, vascular flag waving around, frequent injuries should be expected -- but in 25 years of practice in an area pleasantly infested with hunting dogs, tongue problems are just not very common.

Nevertheless, it has happened more than a few times that I would get a frantic call at home from a hunter wanting to rush his gun dog in because "she's bleeding from the mouth like a stuck pig!"  So I'd rush in to the animal hospital expecting to perform some heroic surgery only to find the bleeding had stopped and the owner apologetic about all the fuss. Upon examining the mouth, I'd find one or more lacerations -- sometimes not very substantial at all -- that had clotted and nicely sealed.

"Keep her quiet today - turn her loose again tomorrow," I'd say to the relieved owner.

What has happened in this situation is that at the time of the injury, whether the tongue was traumatized by thorns or accidentally pierced by a tooth, barbed wire or other sharp object, the tongue was expanded and engorged with blood.

A major source of heat loss for the exercising dog, the tongue's rich supply of blood vessels all dilate, causing the tongue to swell and extend.  Even a tiny puncture at this time will reward the insult with a flow of crimson. And a deep cut can produce some truly scary amounts of blood.

When the owner sees blood "all over the place" the hunt stops, the dog cools off, the blood vessels constrict turning down the flow to normal and the tongue shrinks back to a resting state -- perfect condition for clotting to occur.

So, if you find yourself out in the field or marsh and your canine companion cuts his tongue -- stop the activity, cool the dog down with a short swim and allow a few seconds of a cool drink of water; and consider a trip to the vet if your judgment tells you the bleeding is pretty significant. And don't allow the dog to continue to drink!  

All that tongue activity required to lap up the water will only delay the clotting. Plus, if some anesthesia and suturing is required, it is preferable to operate on a patient that has an empty stomach rather than to risk anesthesia-induced vomiting in an unconscious patient.

Essentially the tongue is an elongated muscular organ with the top surface covered with specialized epithelium. Its responsibilities include responding to taste, touch, pain, and aiding in heat dissipation.

When I began researching this article, I quizzed myself and was able to recall only three muscle groups interacting with the tongue. Well, the faithful Miller's Anatomy of the Dog describes no less than eight pairs of muscles whose job it is to control the tongue's activities. They have intimidating Latin names such as genioglossus vertical and oblique, hyoepiglottis, and sternohyoideus.

That band of tissue directly under the tongue holding it down. . . that's called the frenulum; you've got a frenulum too, only not quite so well developed.

And something you don't have that the dog does -- feel just under the tip of the dog's tongue running from front to back along the midline, you'll find a firm cartilaginous, almost bony structure. That's called a lyssa. This little device was considered in ancient times to be a cure for various ailments including rabies!

Gosh, medicine has come a long way, hasn't it?  Modern medicine has progressed to the point where we at this time don't even have a clue as to what the lyssa is for!

TASTE: In addition to directing the dog to eat rotten garbage and to be repulsed at the taste of woodcock, the canine tongue is capable of discerning sensations of salt, sweet and sour. The sensation of sour is dispersed somewhat evenly over the top of the tongue, salt along the lateral edges and rear of the tongue and sweet along the edges and front of the tongue. Dogs have a finely tuned ability to taste water, and that trick is performed only by the tip of the tongue.

PAPILLAE: These odd projections from the surface of the tongue are of five different types. The slightly shredded look to the front and side of the dog's tongue (especially noticeable in newborn pups) are called marginal papillae and those funny bumpy things on the back of the tongue are vallate. Now the next time you see your buddy curiously peering into his dog's mouth and he suddenly exclaims, "Hey, what the heck are these weird doofangles on Cinder's tongue?", you can tell him they're called papillae and there are five kinds of them and casually walk away.

WHAT MAKES THE TONGUE WET? Every dog has four pairs of salivary glands with tiny drainage tubes transporting the saliva into the mouth. One salivary gland is located just beneath and lateral to the eye underneath the "cheekbone". One gland is situated at the base of the ear-canal cartilage; and one just behind the angle of the jaw and the smallest in front of the angle of the jaw. These glands produce the preponderance of moisture in the mouth, secreting a thick (mucoid) saliva and a watery-thin (serous) saliva. Plus, the surface of the tongue itself harbors numerous tiny salivary glands secreting both serous and mucoid fluid. So the dog's tongue doesn't really sweat, but the net effect of the salivary glands of the tongue amounts to the same thing -- cooling by evaporation.

TONGUE COLORS: Have you ever heard some "dog expert" say, "See that black coloring in there on the dog's tongue? Means he's got some wolf blood in 'em." Duh! All dogs, from Chihuahua's to Bernese Mountain Dogs have, through selective breeding over eons, evolved from a wolf-like common ancestor.

Black pigments (technically a result of microscopic melanin granules) in patches on a dog's tongue, gums and inner lips are common and have no medical significance. That is as long as the dark patches are not raised up higher than the surrounding non-pigmented tissue. If you ever see dark, pigmented tissue anywhere on your dog that actually looks like a bump or is raised up above the neighboring tissue, have your veterinarian examine it. It may be a dangerous form of cancer called melanoma. Another nasty form of cancer accounting for about half of all types found in the tongue is called squamous cell carcinoma. Two other types of cancer of the tongue are granularcell tumor and mast cell tumor. If found early, these may be treatable and complete cures are possible, however, plan on surgery and possible radiation therapy.

INFECTIONS: Because it is so richly supplied by nourishing blood vessels, infections of the tongue are not common. Generally, when they do occur, a foreign body such as a fox tail awn, porky quill, thorn or wood splinter is the culprit and can be removed under anesthesia.  (Anyone who lets their dog chew on lumber, please stand up ... uh huh.  Okay, everybody can sit down now.) Split firewood and 2x4's sure can make a dog proud and happy, but those woody splinters can wreak havoc in the dog's mouth and gastrointestinaltract. Wood is indigestible, you know.  Throw them a tennis ball and forget the timber!

It's a good idea to really examine your dog's mouth routinely -- say every Saturday morning just before you start on those chores you've been putting off. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll find something suspicious requiring an immediate trip to the animal hospital and thereby a legitimate postponement of the chores until the following Saturday!

WIRING: The canine tongue is uniquely constructed to do so many things. And to perform all these diverse and intricate functions the tongue requires five separate pairs of nerves coming directly from the brain through tiny openings in the dog's skull. These are called Cranial Nerves since they do not arise from the spinal cord, but directly from the base of the brain itself. In many an idle moment I've pondered what effect on my shooting success there would be if I had a fancy cranial nerve connected to my right forefinger rather than an ordinary spinal nerve ... hmmm.

Remember, the tongue is king. Everything else in the mouth is an assistant. Keep a close watch, though, for ulcers, bruises or bleeding from the tongue, gums or palate. Check for broken teeth that can irritate the tongue or bumps arising anywhere within the oral cavity. Work your finger under each side of the tongue and force it upward so you can inspect the underside of the tongue.  I've found some pretty odd things wedged or otherwise hiding beneath the tongue.

You really should reward that tongue once in while by allowing it a full, wet slap on your face just before its owner bounds off on a walk with you -- just for fun -- no dummies, no whistles, no check cords or leashes. Odds are that the tongue will reward you at the end of your playful excursion.

[oscaronthegloryroad]

Please enjoy my latest series of little projects, Scrap Bowls! I am turning bowls out of 2 x scrap.

First up is Bowl #1, a little steep-sided dish turned from a bit of 2x4 for my sibling's child to hold little bits and bobs. I am not super happy with a tall foot, if I were doing it now I would have made it shorter.

Next, logically, is scrap bowl #2, made from a chunk of 2x6 that had been sitting around for a while. I like the subtle green-ish-gray colors in it from sitting. I made this one for my friend to keep his keys in. I learned to improve my order of operations.

Then we have Scrap Bowl #3, "made" from the same chunk of 2x6 as #2. It taught me to be more mindful of grain and using a lighter hand. It also sprayed me with 2 x scrap shrapnel.

And finally (for now) scrap bowl #4! The best of the bunch! This one was turned from a fresher piece of 2x8, I think there is room for improvement, but the gap is shrinking and the difficulty in closing the gap is increasing.

[m3gz77]

2x4

Part Fifteen

Pairings: Bucky/Asset x OFC’S?

Warnings: Violence.

Words: 2,363.

Summary: Rydian and the guys have a run-in with Hydra.

Authors Notes: This story has ruined my sense of self. Enjoy. 

Rydian

They told me to get clothes. Alone. At least I had his shirt on, it made me feel less anxious. Their scent clung to the material, and I breathed it in letting it calm me. I had my backpack too so that helped as well. 

I had a small pile of clothes tucked in my arm, they weren’t baggy but they were still more my style than what they would have chose. When I finished I walked to the knife case in the fishing gear section. It had dozens of knives on display and I was having trouble choosing.

“Can I see those two?” I asked the clerk and he took them out for me.

“I’ll be right over there when your ready.” He told me smiling and went to answer the phone as I nodded to him. Hmmm which one to chose? I smiled to my self feeling their weight in my hands.

I could get a new knife with a sheath because mine had seen better days or a new small one to replace the one Asset had crushed. I should get them both. 

Just then I was yanked backwards to a side isle. A bearded man I didn’t know grabbing at me. I had dropped the knives and clothes when he surprised me and couldn’t fight back. He held my arms at my side keeping me from grabbing my knife and the shirt was also covering it so I had no way to defend myself. I did the only thing I still could. 

I closed my eyes and I screamed for help wishing that one of them could hear me. 

“BUCKY! ASSET! HELP ME!” 

The mans hand clamped over my mouth and I struggled trying to get away. 

“Eyes on mine.” I heard the man say and his voice sent flutters to my stomach. I knew that voice.

I opened my eyes and it was them, mask secured on their face and still holding me still. I had seen their face! They turned me around and pushed me towards an exit while I tried to remember their face.

Why did I have to close my eyes. Okay eyes, yes. Nose, yes. Mouth, yes? I tried to remember what he looked like but all I could see was the beard that covered his face just as well as the mask did. Crud-nuggets, next time I would pay more attention. I promised myself as I remembered something was wrong and he was pushing me.

“Whats happening? Is it The Hydra?” I asked as my mind caught up with the situation. 

“Maybe.” They escorted me by my neck to a back exit and onto a loading dock. As we headed through the door two black S.U.V.’s pulled in blocking our exit. They shoved me to the side towards an empty trailer truck with the door open as men came through the door behind us and bullets started flying.

“Stay down!” They yelled at me and I ducked into the trailer holding my ears as bullets tore through the metal over my head. I put my back against the side and curled into a ball swearing out loud. We were going to fudging die here!!!

I heard gunfire, shouting and something big slam into the side of the trailer and I dove down onto my stomach squeezing my ears as tight as I could until it was quiet again.

I removed my hands from my ears and heard people talking in another language. Russian? German? It could have been Italian for all I knew. 

Then I heard the guys yelling in pain. I knew I had to do something. Crawling to the door of the trailer I poked my head out to see them on their knees, their eyes clenched tight in pain. 

Their metal arm had a bracelet on it that shot electricity up their arm in visible blue bolts. When it finally stopped they fell over on their hands, their head hanging low.

The boss man that hovered over them was speaking in the other language again.

“No.” They growled holding up their head. Their eyes opened and immediately focused on me. I could see it in their eyes, they were terrified and it made my stomach drop. 

I had seen what they were capable of so if they were scared then we were in monumental trouble. I had to do something, sure we could die if I tried but we would definitely die if I did nothing. Either way right? 

Whatever the man was saying to them was effecting them in a damaging way and I didn’t like it at all. I jumped up and ran out.

“Wait. Stop. Don’t hurt him.” I yelled and all of their heads swiveled in my direction to glare at me; the guys, the boss, and all of the agents. What do I do now? I hadn’t thought about what I would do beyond yelling at them to stop. Blarg I could be an idiot sometimes.

The boss man said something with a nod and in an instant someone grabbed me from behind and shoved me forward to stand in front of the boss and the guys slumped form. The boss looked me up and down for a moment before waving his hand and saying something to the man holding me.

“No.” Bucky yelled out.

“No?” The man asked in english but the guys were both quiet. A moment later the man was back to using the foreign language and whatever he said must have been unpleasant because the guys tried to attack him.

The shock bracelet lit up again until they were on their side splayed on the ground and panting hard. I could feel my anxiety creeping in around me, these people were going to kill them, kill us, and there was nothing either of us could do about it. 

The man began to talk again. He would speak and pause and speak again as if he were reading from a list.

“Zhelaniye… rzhavyy… semnadtsat’…rassvet…”

The more the man spoke the more Bucky and Asset would roar in pain struggling against the bracelet. 

“Pech’… devyet’… dobroserdechnyg… Vozvrashcheniye na rodina… odin.”

As the man said the last thing the guys finally stopped thrashing. The electricity was still buzzing up their metal arm but they weren’t even flinching anymore. The guys glared up at the man and the bracelet stopped. Standing they faced the boss, seemingly unaware of my presence at all. 

“Dobroye utro, soldat.” The boss spoke to them and they replied immediately their voice hollow and cold.

“YA gotov otvechat’.”

I stood there with my mouth open and stared at them my breathing nonexistent. Tears trickled down my cheeks, they were more broken now then I had ever seen them before. 

Winter Soldier

Fear. Pain. Resistance. Pain. Fading. Pain. Surrender. Pain. Merging. Pain. Focus. Pain. Obedience. Pain.

Ready to comply.

I stood and waited for my orders. Calm. Focused.

“What to do with her?” Our handler asked drawing my attention to a small girl being held by an agent. She was bruised, and I could smell fresh blood, someone had done a number on her. 

My handler had asked a question but I couldn’t answer, not unless it was directed at me. Pain flashed in my memory. Compliance. 

Compliance always.

I observed the girl, she wasn’t a threat. Tears fell down her face. I caught her eyes and surprisingly she held my gaze.

“Bucky?” She asked her voice tight. Was she talking to me? Don’t answer.

“Do you know this girl, Soldat?” My handler asked me directly. 

“No.” I answered him. 

I had never seen her before. Of coarse I don’t see people anymore, I see my targets and she was not my target, anything else was unimportant. 

“Good, good. Take her to the trunk of my car, Soldat.” He ordered me and I nodded. 

The man holding her released his grasp and I scooped her up in my arms. I had intended to toss her over my shoulder but as I lifted her both her arms wrapped around me and she buried her face in my neck. Her skin spreading warmth through my attachment.

My mind flashed as I walked. I had sensations of warmth and the feel of my thumb rubbing circles on a girls back as she clung to me.

My mind snapped back and the girl was whispering in my ear now. “Asset. Please don’t leave me. Come back I need you.”

Something in the way she said it made me purr, my chest rumbling as I walked. She pulled away placing her face directly in front mine and held either side in her small hands.

“Stop.” She ordered and my body froze without my permission. I was confused, was she my handler? Had I known her and just couldn’t remember? I gazed into her deep blue determined eyes and flashes of her flicked by. 

The warmth of her flesh as my fingers ran up and down her back, over her legs and throat. I could hear her heavy pants as she gripped the sheets and let out a breathy moan. The Flashes faded as my chest began to rumble with a growl. I knew this girl. Intimately.

“Mine.” I growled at her, I hadn’t meant to say it and it sounded like a threat but her eyes had far less fear in them now and she nodded with small smiles. So she was mine. Then why was I giving her to them?

I reached the trunk and placed her inside, she would be safe in there.

“Stay.” I ordered her before she let me go and I stood up looking over the trunk door. How many threats? Nine, easy.

I needed weapons though. The man behind me and to my left both had machine guns, I needed a way to take one of them. 

I felt her warm finger wrap around my cold metal ones. Looking down at her, she had her shirt slightly lifted to revealing a blade on her hip. I smiled from behind my mask. This girl was definitely mine.

I reached in and laid her down my hand against her chest and she complied with a nod. Grabbing the Blade I slammed the trunk shut and whipped around taking out my closest target.

Rydian

He doesn’t know me anymore. Bucky was gone and Asset had been set back on default. They were gone and I was in the arms of a lethal machine.

No. They were in there, they had to be. I just needed to find them.

I clung to his neck and whispered in his ear, he had to hear me. He had to remember me. “Asset. Please don’t leave me. Come back I need you.” His chest started to vibrate with a purr. Asset was still in there! 

I pulled back and held his face in my hands making him look me in the eyes.

“Stop.” I commanded him looking into his emotionless blue eyes and surprisingly he did. I waited for something, anything to change in his gaze. Finally his eyes squinted, pupils shrinking and he growled out loud. 

“Mine.”

The way he said it sent a jolt to my stomach and we were moving again. 

“Stay.” He said placing me in the trunk.

I knew he was going to fight them and that the trunk was the best place to leave me, so I didn’t argue. I watched him stand and look over the car. 

He was calculating, I’d seen him do it before. I looked to his fingers when I noticed them twitching, it was much like mine did when I wrote. My fingers would constantly fight over the pen until I grabbed a knife to play with.

After years of stilling my own fingers by putting a knife in them I knew I had to do the same for him. I grabbed his fingers as I pulled up my shirt and showed him my knife. He leaned over and pushed me down, grabbing my knife he slammed the trunk closed and left me in the dark.

Moments later I heard shouting and gunfire. I felt like the loud shots would never stop, then suddenly the car was moving and I was being bounced around in the trunk. Bullets pinged off the back of the car until finally fading away into the distance and it was silent again.

It too quite now. Too dark. My pulse quickened and I started to gasp for air. Claustrophobia suffocated me and I was swept up into the nightmares of my own oblivion.

Winter Soldier  

I sped off down the road, I hadn’t killed them all but we had gotten away. Once the gunfire stopped I could hear her breathing speed up through the back seat. She was panicking. It didn’t matter, she would have to wait. It only took a few minutes for her to quiet and her breathing to become steady again. Good. Sleep. I had thing to do.

I got supplies and patched myself up, and could still hear her leveled breathing. She was still alive, she was fine. The one thing that was bugging me however was why I had defied Hydra in the first place.

I didn’t do that. I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed to resist them, not since… 

Pain flared in my head and I swerved the car. What the fuck was that? I had heard screaming. It was coming from my mouth but it hadn’t been me screaming. I felt the mask being secured around my face for the first time and I never screamed again.

Suddenly I felt pain everywhere and memories flashed by so quick I didn’t know where one ended and another began. My vision started to blot and blur. The last this I saw was the car headed for the tree line before the blinding pain seared through my head and I couldn’t see anything but a white hot light. 

@whitewolfbumble

[zevzevarainai]

same anon from before,, ;u; how did you like,,, give them filters?? they're very pretty, not to mention my gifs are always over the limit for some reason, even when they're extremely small

i’m flattered that you have chosen to come to me!! under the cut i will be covering the most basic of basics in my gif making processes. i use photoshop CS5 but these are likely transferable to other versions of photoshop dont take my word on it ok buckle up kids

Sizing

To get started you obviously want to find what you want to gif. Generally, I’ve found that the less realistic the footage is, the easier it will be to make it a small file. For example, making an adventure time gif will be much easier to get under tumblr’s limit than a live action movie or show. Remember that tumblr’s gif size limit is 3MB. There’s many factors you can control to get the picture size down, but the main two are the amount of frames in a gif and the pixel size of the image. 

I try to keep my frames between 80 and about 130. The fewer frames will help decrease file size, but you have to watch the animation for sometimes too few frames can make the gif hard on the eyes or tacky (for lack of a better word).

For image size, I first crop the image to the part I want to gif and then reduce it to a width of around 500px. This is for the standard 2x4 post I usually do (example). It might look small in photoshop, but remember tumblr shrinks it to fit in the post. 

Coloring

The best way to color gifs (or add filters) is to experiment. There’s really no correct way. I’ll show you where you can find the tools to start experimenting.

First, I like to put all my layers into a group folder. Then, you’ll want to click on this black and white circle which will open a drop-down menu. It’s fun to mess around with all of them, but I’ll talk about the ones I use the most: Brightness/Contrast, Levels, Vibrance, Hue/Saturation, Color Balance, and Selective Color.

Brightness/ContrastThis one is pretty self-explanatory. This feature makes your picture lighter or darker and can add more contrast between the colors in the image.

Let’s start with the base image. I’ve taken a random clip of pearl and agate for the purpose of this tutorial. This is what it looks like in its unaltered form. The brightness and contrast window is right next to it.

Unaltered, the image is already very bright by itself. You’d play with this setting if you wanted to make a darker gif with that scene or maybe bring out the colors with less contrast. It might help with a pastel gifset, which I will talk about in Levels.

LevelsI’ll be honest, I didn’t know what this meant until I wanted to try pastel sets and searched for tutorials. 

Levels is going to give you a weird ass lookin’ graph like this. It will vary depending on the original image, so don’t panic if it looks different than my example. Bringing the middle arrow to the right of the scale makes the image darker and more vibrant, like so:

On the opposite end, bringing the arrow to the left will give a more pastel effect.

It’s best to just play around with this one; results really depend on the original image. You might want to go only a little to the left, or much higher -- you’ve got to use your eye and what you think looks best. 

ViberanceViberance is a good choice for when I want to bring out the colors of my gifs or even tone them down.

If you look back earlier at the original image, this picture altered with the viberance adjustment has a bit more color. It’s more... vibrant. Saturation is used to make the colors pop (going right) or make the colors more dull (going left). I upped the saturation in the image above; let’s see what happens when you go down:

It takes out the color, but not so much so that it is made black and white.

Hue/SaturationThis setting is similar to the saturation in viberance, but you can get more detailed in this one. Let’s say I want to tone down agate and bring the focus on pearl. We’re gonna go back to the unaltered clip. In the window, there’s a drop-down with different colors. These are the main color categories photoshop works with, so to speak.

Let’s go to blue, as that is agate’s main color. Our options to mess around with are the hue, saturation, and lightness. I’m going to take down (move the arrow to the left) agate’s saturation and lightness. 

Now she’s practically black and white while pearl, who doesn’t have any blue on her (it’s cyan), stays the same.

Wondering what the top bar is for? You can use that to change the color. Let’s say for some reason, I wanted to make this blue agate one of pink diamond’s agates instead.

Move that bar around +90, you’ve got a pink agate. It was a little grainy, so I messed with the lightness too. You can experiment with all kinds of colors!

Color BalanceI rely on this one a lot. Here we are with the unaltered image again. In this window, you can see three tones -- shadows, midtones, and highlights -- as well as three color bars. The highlight setting colors the pictures highlights, the shadows color the shadows, and the same for midtones. This is a good setting for a “filters.”

I would be lying if I didn’t say my main strategy here is to just mess around with it until I get something that looks decent. I’m going to give this a pink/magenta-y color balance setting as 1) I like it on Pearl and 2) I just like it in general. This image is a bit over-exaggerated for the sake of a tutorial.

As you can see, moving the arrows toward magenta and blue have given it a pink “filter.” It is up to your best judgement to decide how far those arrows go down the bar, and don’t be afraid to combine changes in the other tones, too!

Selective ColorThe main reason I use this adjustment is to avoid whitewashing. It’s easy to do it by mistake when making pastel gifs. Let’s take Marina from Splatoon 2 and say I want to make a pastel splatoon set. Here’s the original image. I already used Color Balance to get the color I want.

Now I’m gonna add the pastel with Levels -- AHH! What happened to her skin?? NO THANK YOU. BAD. 

Let’s fix that immediately. Here comes Selective Color! It will give you the option of colors to alter. We want to choose Red, as where that’s where most of the brown comes from. She also had a bit of yellow in her face, so I altered that too. Go to the bar labelled ‘black’ and push it to the right.

Better! She keeps her dark skin while still keeping the pastel feel. 

What a cutie!!

You can use this adjustment setting when you don’t want a certain color to be as altered as the others.

Saving SettingsSaving your gif is probably the most frustrating part of the entire process. I sit waiting for it to load, asking it to please be under 3.0 MB. If you don’t already know, File>Save for Web & Devices will look like this.

Sometimes, Photoshop will make your gifs look like garbage. This is frustrating. To work around it, you are welcome to copy my settings. Be sure to change the colors to 256 for the best quality. 

Luckily, my gif came out to below 3.0MB. If yours doesn’t, don’t panic. Make the image smaller or take out some frames.

Hope this helped! Happy giffing!!

[shamurph]

SHAMU’S AESTHETIC TUTORIAL.

so a lot of people really like my aesthetics and it’s really easy to make so i thought i might as well show people how i do mine. photoshop isn’t required.

1. find some pictures to fit the feel you’re going for. pinterest is a great place to look and you can save them to find them again later. it’s good to have a balance of scenery / objects / people / clothes / words so it’s not too heavy on just one (unless that’s what you’re trying to capture)

2. put them in a collage. you could probably use a psd in photoshop, but i just use befunky since it’s a bit easier for me to maneuver. it doesn’t really matter what kinda grid you choose, but i either use a 2x4 or a 3x3 most times. so put in all your pictures and get them arranged (my generic pattern is to do faceless pics on the top and bottom opposite corners and then two words pictures on the inner two opposite corners and then fill the rest with whatever)

like i said in 1, it really helps to have a mix of pictures of different subjects so it doesn’t look too busy and a similar color scheme also helps it mesh (but if they don’t exactly, that’s why you edit.) you can adjust the border by going to where it says spacing and the automatic size for pics is 3988x3988 which is probably bigger than you’ll ever need so just go ahead and shrink that down as much as you need. tumblr can’t open files that big anyway. pngs preserve more quality without the fuzzy effect you sometimes see on mobile images

3. edit (optional) this helps make it look real snazzy and you can either plop that sucker in photoshop and slap a nice psd on it or you can use a website like befunky or pixlr to adjust the saturation and brightness and colors and filters and all that stuff.

don’t whitewash though! i’m not an expert on coloring to avoid that but that’s what tutorials are for so here are a few i found. x x also check out the poc friendly psd tag. 

anyway, i only made slight alterations to the saturation and brightness and such in photoshop which can easily be done in the websites i mentioned earlier and now it looks a bit more dramatic and matchy

clearly you can make more drastic changes when you edit but sometimes simple works too.

anyway if you have any more questions or suggestions you can hit up my ask or my edit/ooc blog @sofiaherzen

[livingcorner]

How to Paint Your Kitchen Cabinets

If you’ve noticed the cost of new appliances, countertops, and cabinets, it’s no surprise that renovating a kitchen is one of the most expensive remodeling projects. While few homeowners find ways to boost the look of a dated refrigerator or tired granite, transforming a kitchen by freshening the cabinets that make up most of the room’s visual space is entirely within reach. But there’s more to the job than buying a gallon of your favorite color.

Read our step-by-step instructions on how to get the job done right.

You're reading: How to Paint Your Kitchen Cabinets

How Much Does it Cost to Paint Kitchen Cabinets?

Renovating a kitchen is one of the most expensive remodeling projects that you can take on, and replacing the cabinets can account for nearly 40 percent of that cost.

Cabinets for a 10-by 12-foot kitchen can easily top $5,000—and your new cabinets may actually be of lower quality than the ones you’re replacing. On the other hand, a few fresh coats of paint can go a long way toward transforming your existing cabinets for a fraction of that price. In fact, the cost of painting should be no more than about $200, plus a weekend or two of your time.

Should I Paint My Cabinets?

Before you head out to the paint store, however, examine your cabinets to see if they can be resuscitated in the first place. Even the highest-quality paint job can’t revive cheap cabinets that have grown frail with age. Thin veneers peel or delaminate, particleboard cabinet bottoms or shelves sag or break, and hanging rails come loose. If these are the issues you’re dealing with, you’d actually be better off replacing your kitchen cabinets.

Assuming that everything is still in fine shape and good working order, let’s examine some of the questions you’ll need to address before you start repainting your kitchen cabinets.

What Type of Paint Do I Need for Cabinets?

Oil or latex?

Latex paints have been improving steadily, leading some pros to give up oil-based paints entirely. Because they dry quickly and clean up with water, latex paints are more user-friendly than oil-based paints. But many pros still favor oil-based topcoats, arguing that they form a harder, more durable paint film and level out to a smoother finished surface. Latex paints also take longer (up to three weeks) than oil-based paints to fully cure. In the meantime, they’re susceptible to damage.

Read more: 4 Benefits of Having a Pot Filler in Your Kitchen

Bottom line: Either oil or latex will provide a good finish. If you do use a latex paint, make sure it’s a 100 percent acrylic formulation, which offers greater durability and adhesion than vinyl acrylic paints.

Brush or Spray Paint?

A sprayed-on finish is the smoothest option, but there’s a learning curve for doing it properly. You’ll also likely need to rent the spray equipment, which drives up your costs, and you’ll have to mask off all the areas in the kitchen that could accidentally get sprayed, including countertops, cabinet interiors, and appliances, which is a time-consuming process.

For these reasons, we recommend you opt for using high-quality brushes instead. Invest in a good, 3- to 4-inch-wide square brush, whose straight ends will make short work of large, flat panels, as well as an angled brush in the 2½- or 3-inch-wide range, which will help you get paint into the corners of doors with molding and can coat door frames in one pass. Latex paint should be applied with a synthetic bristle brush, which doesn’t absorb water; oil-based paint should be applied with a natural-bristle brush.

Can you just paint over cabinets or should you strip them?

When the existing finish is a clear coat, the best course of action is to strip the finish down to the bare wood before painting. This eliminates a potential adhesion problem between the old finish and the new paint.

But while stripping may be the ideal for purists, it’s not always practical or absolutely necessary. A thorough cleaning followed by light sanding should be enough to prepare the surface for new paint.

Regular or faux finish?

If you’re open to spicing up your kitchen’s look, incorporating a faux finish can transform its style into shabby chic, rustic, provincial, or modern. Crackling glaze, which is available at paint stores, can, with very little effort, give your cabinets a weathered look. Just apply the glaze over a dry base coat, brushing in only one direction (thick for large cracks, thin for fine cracks), and let it dry. Finish with a flat topcoat of the base color brushed on perpendicular to the glaze. The paint will start to form cracks as it dries, a process that takes about an hour.

Another rustic style is the distressed look, which doesn’t require a special paint. This finish is made up of layered colors and spattered dark paint. When the paint is dry, to reveal the colors underneath, distress the finish by hitting it with a chain and lightly sanding in the spots where the cabinets get the most use.

Similarly, the antiqued, slowly aged look can be achieved with some paint magic. Simply dip the tip of a paintbrush in a color lighter than the cabinets and dab the excess onto a cloth until the brush is almost dry, then lightly graze the surface of the detail trim, corners, and seams.

On the other end of the spectrum is a high-gloss finish, which will transform your kitchen into a polished, modern space. To shine up your cabinets, paint a high-gloss clear acrylic varnish over your final coat. This technique will add depth to the color and cover the surface of your kitchen with a glassy sheen.

Paint Brushes and Materials You’ll Need

Paint – Look for a paint designed for trim, often labeled enamel. The higher the sheen, the more durable the finish—high gloss will stand up better than satin.

Roller – Use a 4- or 6-inch foam roller to cover the sides of cabinets and their face frames.

Square Brush – The straight end of a 3- to 4-inch-wide brush makes short work of large, flat panels.

Angled Brush – A synthetic angled brush in the 2½- or 3-inch-wide range helps you get paint into corners of doors with molding, and can coat door frames in one pass.

HVLP Sprayer – Not into the hand-brushed look? Spraying on a topcoat is the easiest way to get a smooth, factory-like finish. High volume/low-pressure sprayers are versatile enough to spray cabinets, fence panels, or exterior trim.

What To Do Before You Start

Consider The Cost and Get a New Kitchen on a Budget

Brown Bird Design

Cabinets can account for nearly 40 percent of a kitchen’s cost. Here’s how three common cabinet upgrades stack up in an average 10-by-10-foot kitchen.

Repainting would cost less than $200. Adding new drawers and doors runs about $1,300, while upgrading to ready-to-assemble cabinets starts at about $1,630.

Read more: Laminate Vs. Two Pack – An in-depth comparison – DIAMOND INTERIORS

Set up a Temporary Kitchen

Painting your cabinets means taking a vital room completely off-line.

Plan ahead: Set up a kitchen in a nearby room with a hot plate, a toaster oven, and a cooler to serve as a fridge during the project. Oh, and use paper plates.

Steps for Painting Cabinets

1. Prep the room

A successful paint job lies in diligent prep work, and the first few steps are focused on prepping the room and cabinets for painting.

Start by emptying the cabinets, clearing off the counters, and removing any freestanding appliances.

Relocate tables and other furniture to another room.

Tape rosin paper over the countertops and flooring, and, to protect the rest of the house from dust and fumes, tape plastic sheeting over the backsplash, windows, fixed appliances, and interior doorways.

Mask off the wall around the cabinets.

Set up a worktable for painting doors, drawers, and shelves.

TIP: Set Up a DIY Paint Station

Brown Bird Design

This makeshift jig provides access to all sides of a cabinet door to reduce downtime during drying. Here’s how to set it up:

Span a pair of 2x4s at eye level between two ladders.

Screw eye hooks into one end of a 2×4, where doors will be painted, and at the other end, screw hooks into both 2x4s to hang painted doors from.

Add corresponding hooks to the top edges of upper cabinet doors and the bottoms of lower doors and drawers, where the holes left behind won’t be visible.

2. Remove the doors, drawers, and shelves

Illustration by Gregory Nemec

Back out the hinge screws from the cabinet frame and remove the doors.

Working from left to right, top to bottom, label each one with a numbered piece of tape. Also, number the edges of cabinet shelves and the bottoms of drawers.

Set aside the shelf-hanging hardware.

At your worktable, remove the pulls and hinges and save what’s being reused.

On the doors, transfer the number from the tape to the exposed wood under one hinge.

Cover it with fresh tape.

3. Clean all the surfaces

Use ordinary household cleaners to remove the grime from the face frames, doors, drawer fronts, and shelving. If ordinary cleaners aren’t effective, consider using a stronger cleaner like trisodium phosphate (TSP), which is sold at hardware and paint stores. Just make sure you follow the safety precautions on the container.

Once all the cabinet pieces are clean, rinse them thoroughly with water and let them dry.

4. Prep the boxes

Open the windows for ventilation and put on safety gear. Using an abrasive pad dipped in a liquid deglosser, scrub down all of the surfaces.

Hold a rag underneath to catch drips. Before the deglosser evaporates, quickly wipe away the residue with another clean, deglosser-dampened rag.

If you’re relocating the hardware, fill the old screw holes with a two-part polyester wood or autobody filler.

It sets in about 5 minutes, so mix only small batches. The filler shrinks a bit, so overfill the holes slightly.

As soon as it sets, remove the excess with a sharp paint scraper. If it hardens completely, sand it smooth.

Sand all the surfaces with the grain using 100-grit paper.

Vacuum the cabinets inside and out to make sure no bits of dust mar the finish, then rub them down with a tack cloth for extra measure.

5. Prime the cabinet boxes

Photo by Kolin Smith

Now it’s time for the primer. If the cabinets are heavily stained, use a stain-blocking primer, which dries quickly and seals knots and other surface defects that might bleed through the topcoats. In most situations, however, stain-blockers shouldn’t be necessary, and an oil-based or 100 percent acrylic latex primer will work just fine.

Starting at the top of the cabinet, brush on the primer across the grain, then “tip off”—pass the brush lightly over the wet finish in the direction of the grain. Always tip off in a single stroke from one end to the other.

Make sure to follow the underlying structure of the cabinet or door with the brush. Where a rail butts into a stile, for instance, paint the rail first, overlapping slightly onto the stile, then paint the stile before the overlap dries.

6. Sand, caulk, and fill

Photo by Kolin Smith

After the primer is dry, sand the flat surfaces with 220-grit paper.

Sand any profiled surfaces with a medium-grit sanding sponge. The wood should end up feeling glass-smooth.

Squeeze a thin bead of latex caulk into any open seams. (The hole in a caulk tube’s tip should be no bigger than the tip of a sharp pencil.)

Pull the tip as you go, then smooth the caulk with a damp finger. Fill any small dents, scratches, or dings with vinyl spackle, smoothed flat with a putty knife.

Once the spackle is dry (about 60 minutes), sand again with 220-grit paper, vacuum, and wipe with a tack cloth.

With a spray can of fast-drying oil-based primer, spot-prime the spackle and any spots where the sandpaper has “burned through” the primer.

Wait an hour, then sand the primer lightly with 280-grit paper.

Vacuum all the surfaces, and wipe them with a tack cloth.

7. Paint the cabinet boxes

Photo by Kolin Smith

You’re finally ready to paint! If you’re using roughly the same shade as the existing color, two coats ought to do the job. You might even get away with one. Painting over a dark finish with a light color is tougher and could require three coats. Break out a new brush for each coat.

Working from top to bottom, apply the paint to the cabinet exterior across the grain, then tip it off with the grain.

For the cabinet interior, apply the paint with a smooth-surface mini roller, which leaves a slightly bumpy, orange-peel texture.

Between coats, sand the surfaces lightly, making sure to clean up the debris afterwards.

8. Prep, prime, and paint the doors, drawers, and shelves

The strategy for prepping, priming, and painting doors, drawers, and shelves is the same as for the cabinets, except that all the work is done on a table to reduce the chance of drips, runs, and sags.

When painting paneled doors, start with the area around the panel.

Then, do the main field of the panel, and finish with the stiles and rails around the edges.

As you go along, wipe up any paint that ends up on adjacent dry surfaces to eliminate the chance of lap marks.

Tip: To speed up the drying time for doors, you can twist two screw hooks into holes drilled in an inconspicuous door edge (the lower edge for bottom cabinets, the upper edge for top cabinets). Paint the door’s outside face and let it dry for an hour while resting flat, then tilt the door up onto its hooks and put a drywall screw into an existing hardware hole. Hold the tilted door up by the screw and paint the door’s back side.

When you’re done painting, pick up the door by the screw and one hook and hang both hooks on a sturdy clothes hanger.

Suspend the door from a shower curtain rod or clothes rod until it dries.

9. Put back all the pieces

Photo by Kolin Smith

After the final coat is dry, replace the shelves.

Remove the tape over each door’s number, install the hinges and knob, and hang them in their original opening.

Replace the drawer pulls (or add new ones) and reinstall each drawer.

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Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Kitchen

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