#shoutout to the kids who realized as adults that the reason they hate christmas is bc of trauma not just not liking the holiday 🤘✌

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

The Holidays (derogatory)

hi dont look at this too hard i promise im not projecting at all - also if you like christmas and thanksgiving and that shit and have a good time maybe skip over it, i dont want any ‘yOu DoNt LiKe ThE hOlIdAyS?!?’ on this

pairing: Geraskier

CW: modern au, jaskier is the baby gay who went off and started his own life and is stressed/depressed about the holiday season meaning shitty family members, geralt takes care of him, jask feels guilty?, jask isn’t out to his family, depression tw but not in a wholly wallowing/graphic way?

____________________________________

Jaskier had been functioning. Just functioning and he was rather proud of himself for that much, even if it did still feel like a failure. But he made it to work, pretended he was fine, and had been feeding himself, so when Geralt asked how he was doing he said he was fine. Because compared to previous holiday seasons he had a lot more to freak the fuck out about and he was still doing more than before so he reasoned he was actually fine. 

The fact that his studio apartment looked like a depression cave and he hadn’t cleaned the litter box in a little too long or taken out the trash kind of slipped his mind. The numbness blocked it out. 

So when Geralt showed up at his door with takeout after the third cancelled date it was with mute horror and an apologetic look that Jaskier let him in. Geralt simply set the food out on his dinky little kitchen table and instructed him to eat. When Jaskier just frowned at him, Geralt held him by the shoulders and kissed his forehead before guiding him to sit and opening the pressed aluminum container full of his favorite pasta. 

“You eat, I’ll get the kitchen.”

A strange mixture of relief and embarrassment settled in Jaskier’s gut as he picked at his pasta and watched Geralt clean his tiny kitchen. He’d really only been eating avocado toast and taquitos all month so it wasn’t like there was all that much to clean, but watching some of the evidence of his spiral disappear was nice, even if it really was just a tiny bit. When Geralt was done, he sat down next to Jaskier and ate his pasta, finishing well before Jaskier did, but he didn’t mention it. He kept up a light, pointless conversation about Roach, showing Jaskier a picture of the hole his new husky puppy had made and sat in at the dog park which made Jaskier giggle just a bit. It felt odd, giggling. To be honest, it felt a little hysterical, but it was a nice change from the way he’d been two seconds from crying all week. 

When Jaskier was finally done, Geralt cleaned that mess up too before he led Jaskier into the little nook he called a living room, even if it was really just a carefully positioned couch and coffee table in a weird corner of the apartment. 

Giving him a playful nudge, Geralt winked at him, “If there’s anything you don't want me to see, hide it now. We’re cleaning this up.” 

If he hadn’t felt like absolute garbage, Jaskier would have sputtered, but as it were he just raised his eyebrows in the closest he could get to playful, “And what do you think I might want to hide?” 

“Well,” Geralt started, grunting a little as he leaned down to collect a laundry basket laying on its side, “you were a little jumpy about your butt plug a couple months ago. Just giving you a heads up.” The slight teasing tone in his voice warmed Jaskier’s insides even if he rolled his eyes in response. 

It had been the most ridiculous fight Jaskier had ever had, yelling at Geralt for accidentally finding his little box of toys while he was looking for bandaids. In the end Geralt was laughing his ass off and Jaskier was so embarrassed he thought he’d melt into the floor. Geralt had to drink a glass of water to calm down before he could give Jaskier a hug and ask Were you scared I’d make fun of you? Having to admit to his hot new older boyfriend that he’d never had a boyfriend before and he only figured out he liked men a couple months prior to meeting said boyfriend and wasn’t entirely sure what to think let alone expect from new boyfriend wasn't Jaskier’s favorite conversation, but it did make a few things easier. 

He was mulling over the day as he picked things up and made a pile of laundry to do while Geralt vacuumed and bagged up the trash. It really didn’t take that long, his apartment wasn’t huge by any means, but the difference was incredible. 

Geralt practically made them a nest of blankets on Jaskier’s bed before tugging Jaskier down on top of him and enveloping him in those heavy comforting arms, “Better?”

“Much.” Jaskier sighed, snuggling deeper into Geralt’s chest, “I take it my ‘fine’ wasn’t really convincing?”

“No, and, y’know the holidays,” Geralt tacked an exhausted sigh on after ‘the holidays’ and kissed the top of Jaskier’s head, “Wanna talk about it?” His tone was so careful, so uncharacteristically gentle and quiet that it took Jaskier by surprise for a moment. 

“I… yeah…” Jaskier stumbled over his words as tears welled up in his eyes, “I just don’t know where to start…”

Running a soothing hand up and down Jaskier’s back, Geralt hummed, “Can you tell me what you feel?”

“Scared.” Jaskier surprised himself by putting a name to it so quickly, “Scared and tired.”

“What are you afraid of?” Geralt tucked the blankets tighter around them as he asked, making Jaskier feel that much more cocooned and safe.

“Uhm…” Jaskier did his best to take a deep breath but his breath hitched as he fought a sob, “g-going home? I don’t know how much… uhm... fuck.... I don’t know- how much of any of it I can take? My family isn’t exactly the Adams’,” Jaskier ended on an ugly watery laugh that felt almost as hollow as he was. 

Geralt just hummed in acknowledgement and continued stroking Jaskier’s back as he cried through his words.

“They- they don’t know and they’re assholes anyway and- and- and my mom’s going to make a scene because she does every year and her sisters are a shit show and I cant even get drunk for it because I have to work the next day and I can’t accidentally let it slip I fucking can’t. I can’t handle that on top of all the other family drama right now.”

Tilting his chin up to look at him, Geralt kissed the crease between his brows, “They don’t know about me, or that I’m a witcher?”

Guilt washed over Jaskier as he tried his best to suck in a usable breath. He’d made a point to show Geralt off to all his friends in the city. Geralt had been kept secret in so many relationships and Jaskier hated that, he hated it so much, because Geralt was fucking phenomenal in every way and he deserved the world. 

“No…” Jaskier held his breath as he looked into Geralt’s eyes. They swam a bit in the tears overflowing and blurring his vision, but he didn’t see any anger there, just concern, and that hurt worse. He was supposed to be a fixer, not be fixed.

“Jask, breath for me. Nice and slow- there you go. What don’t they know, love?”

Jaskier sniffed and gave up trying to control his voice, muffling the little wail into Geralt’s chest, “They don’t even know I’m bi!” He sobbed horribly, expecting Geralt to be angry, or at least a little annoyed that they’d been dating for almost six months and Jaskier hadn’t told his family. He prepared his body for Geralt to leave, for the only comfort he could find to be the giant mass of pillows and blankets on his bed. But Geralt only tightened his hold.

“Oh sweetheart I’m sorry,” Geralt mumbled into Jaskier’s hair. 

“You’re sorry? But I k-kept you secret?”

“Not with the people you trust.” Geralt squeezed him a little tighter still, just for a moment before leaning back to look at him, “I’m sorry your family never made you feel safe enough to share this part of yourself.” he whispered, wiping tears away from Jaskier’s cheeks away as he spoke. 

Jaskier only squeaked in response, devolving into more tears and shuddering breaths. Geralt held him and whispered soft soothing reassurances until Jaskier had emptied out absolutely everything. 

They didn’t move till the next morning, and even then, Geralt kept Jaskier close enough to pull into a hug at a moment's notice. The holiday season was awful, but at least Jaskier had someone who understood and insisted on holding his hand. 

[jq37]

I'll be the one that bites the bullet. Fantasy High episode 11--thoughts?

**spoilers for cool kids, cold case**

Hoo boy. 

That could be my entire write up honestly because, geez ya'll. 

Let's break it down. 

Sidenote, I just got mildly into Overwatch so every time I say that and I say it a fair amount, I hear Lucio in my head. 

Anyway, like I said in an earlier post, I'm now pretty sure that the bloodrush fight didn't go the way Brennan expected. Like either he didn't expect them to win or that they would win but not kill Daybreak because there was so much exposition and change and repositioning in this episode. It was a lot like the first session with all the setup. It's like he needed to get them on a new trajectory so he took an episode to time jump and change the status quo before--BAM. But we're getting to that.

In another show or even another episode of this show, the opening convo with Ragh might have been the wildest part of the ep. There’s just so much to unpack there.

Fig making him kowtow to Gorgug and everyone being like dude, stop making it weird. 

Before she did that, Emily paused and you could just see every other person looking like “What insane thing is gonna come out of her mouth now?”

Kristen getting the scoop on his super gay dreams. 

Adaine trying to get him to got to therapy (and also to realize that he's gay). 

The group whole ass making him cry for possibly the first time?

Fabian trying to shut everything down.

“You’re cumming from your eyes.”

 Kristen, please stop. I’m begging you. 

As I suspected, the group reached the point of yeah, we NEED to call Riz's mom this ep. Like, they *had* to call her. You can only realistically take shenanigans so far before it becomes straight unrealistic to not just call a responsible adult. 

And, speaking of, yay! We got to see a little of everyone’s parents just like I wanted/predicted. 

We actually got a lot of stuff from my wishlist. There’s so much time jumping and stuff in this episode I don’t even know where to start. 

This is probably the wrong place to start but I remember wondering what their Christmas equivalent was because they can’t have Christmas because of the Christ thing so when they were like Solstice I was like, oh duh. It’s literally right there. How could I miss it.

OK I guess 

Christmas Solstice party at Gorgug’s house! I knew his house would end up being the hang house.  

Sklonda handled the situation pretty close to how I thought she would. I really think Brennan was forced into a, “This adult is too responsible to not wipe out my next ten plot points over the course of a week,” corner and that’s why he had to pivot. More on that later.

Fabian just refusing to eat any of the fast food she got them.

I totally forgot Adaine has diplomatic immunity. Which actually means she’s the ideal Bad Kid to do anything shady they need done, even though that’s not really her style.

Unlike, other people

We’re getting there

I’m glad Brennan drew the line at Kristen’s parents actively being in a cult. He was like, OK no. They’re willfully ignorant but they’re not PART OF THE CULT.

I also think it’s interesting that they didn’t actually kick her out? Like they sorta kinda did but not really because it seems like she’s couch surfing of her own volition a little and staying home sometimes too? I wonder how her brothers are doing.

Both of Fig’s dads just work at her school now. I wonder is they commiserate about her w/ Goldenhoard.

I can’t believe Brennan is letting her just ruin the life of this random, full-adult dwarf doctor. Like, imagine if any adult in her life found out about that.

Brennan says bud a lot. Almost as much as he says rad.

Gorgug choosing playing the drums as his proficiency, but not well. Just, like, a simple drum beat. Bro. Why.

Adaine’s makeover!

I knew we were gonna get to see that. Or at least I really hoped we would.

And it was in boutique setting similar to what I imagined. A little surprised that she went straight for the jeans and t-shirt thing but dope. I want fan-art. 

Also, if I hadn’t already been convinced, that scene would have convinced me that Fabian got everyone the gifts (before it was confirmed later).

“You’d look nice as a sailor.” Is that like a pirate thing, bro?

Real talk, does Fabian for-real, for-real have a crush on Adaine low key?He’s complimented her looks more than once, which he hasn’t done with the other girls. They’re at a similar social class which might be a factor. And he clearly has a thing for blond elves.

WE’LL GET TO IT. 

I am Concerned about Adaine’s jean jacket, regardless of how dope it is.

Someone needs to talk to Fig about the rat thing. Possibly also Emily. 

42069 LANE (or whatever it was). I hate that I love Brennan for that.

“The worst thing about you is that you’re rich.”

But aww, Fabian. I’m glad it ended up being him (and shoutout to the anon who pointed that out to me). This is exactly the character growth I wanted from him.

When Gorthalax said that tryouts had already happened, I was legit upset for Fabian for a sec. Also, how did I know Gorgug was gonna somehow end up on the bloodrush team?

Guys I feel like there’s still a million more things to talk about.

Adaine finding out about Riz’s dad. God I hope there’s a heart to heart soon but she won’t just drop that info unless she has a really good reason.

GILEAR. I can’t believe that was him on a NAT 20. God, he has zero game. Also, imagine Fig and Riz as siblings. Lord.

The return of Tracker. I was concerned that she was in college but she’s like a Sophomore so Kristen is good to go as soon as she stops being a total disaster so actually that’s probably a moot point. 

Sidenote, kinda surprised that she’s a cleric. I thought she was off religion totally but I guess she just switched. But I feel like it’s hard to be totally non-religious in a world where gods 100% for sure exist?

Adaine going, “Mrs. Gukgak. Actually Captain Gukgak,” to her racist-ass dad gave me life. 

OK so re: the whole conversation about perditional contradoxy and treaties and war and such. How much of that was in the plan and how much of that was last minute retooling by Brennan? Because, I’m going to be honest. If it wasn’t for that comment by Siobhan, I would never have guessed that we were off the rails. But, with that in mind, this feels like the work of a GM who needs to keep the game going because things ended up moving too quickly.

It does answer the question of where the story is going now that the Harvestmen seem to be taken care of. I was a little surprised when Brennan was like, “Yeah Riz’s mom gets them all arrested,” because I’d assumed that the bad guy was going to be just the higher guy on the totem pole. 

OK, I’m sure I’m missing some things because this was a JAM PACKED ep so, if I missed something you wanted my thoughts on, please tell me and I’ll be super happy to write more words but let’s get into that scene. 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OK OK OK

Before we start, I’m so pumped about all of this development but I hate how often I’m going to have to type the word Eolwyn because my fingers refuse to accept that that’s how that’s spelled.

ANYWAY

Dude, the pacing, switching between Adaine and home and the rest of the gang at the party. Like, I knew what the reveal had to be as soon as she walked in but I was still like, “Oh my God. Oh my GOD.”

Sidenote: It was very convenient for Brennan that Adaine never actually read those books because it was an easy and non-cheating way to dole out exposition now, later in the game.

What were the mechanics of Adaine not being invited to that party? Did Eolwyn specifically get her not invited? Did she actually get invited but couldn’t go because of the dinner at home? Did all her friends still decide to go, knowing she wasn’t invited? Was she OK with that? How exactly did that go down?

EOLWYN

BUSTING into that party

Magicking up a bunch of LOVE SLAVE PUPPETS

SNORTING magic coke

Playing Spin the Bottle DEATH ROULETTE 

MAKING OUT WITH FABIAN

CUT TO: I’M GOING TO KILL MY SISTER

DAMN BRENNAN, I did NOT Expect you to go THAT hard.

AND THEN IT KEPT GOING

Assuming they all live, I can’t WAIT for the, “YOU KISSED MY SISTER????” conversation. 

Which means they’ve either never met Eolwyn or only in passing and not enough to remember her. 

Shoutout to Riz for being the only person to give Adaine a heads up. 

Her eyes glow blue when she does certain types of magic so I’m just picturing her walking into that room, eyes blazing blue, ready to F up her sister (even BEFORE she finds out what’s going on).

I don’t remember if she called Eolwyn a c**t in this ep or the promo for next but I was like, “Oh damn.” Like you got her to escalate her cursing that much that quickly? Damn.

Also, I love that when she’s really upset, Adaine skips the magic and just starts hitting people. 

OK, so remember in the first ep when Eolwyn tried to have Adaine steal that book? The book that I’m pretty sure is the one they mentioned as having wards on it to keep monster stuff from happening at school? So, here’s what I want to know. Has Eolwyn always been a part of this? Because, clearly, it looks like she is right now. But it’s possible the original intent was that she wanted to get Adaine to do it as a prank, not knowing it was important and then, Brennan checked his notes while salvaging the plot and decided to work it in.  

Also, unlikely, but imagine if Eolwyn somehow induced Adaine’s panic attack during her entrance exam to Hudol specifically so she would fail, have to go to Augefort, and steal the book for her. Wouldn’t that be wild?

Idek what else to say about that last ten minutes or so that isn’t just incoherent, Ally-esque screeching.

I have to say, battle eps are never my faves but I’m looking forward to this one more than any other one so far. 

Man, I can’t believe I thought Eolwyn asking for that textbook might turn into a sister bonding moment. Lol @ past me.

Anyway, kick her ass Adaine!