#shoutout to 12 year old me i was so interesting

[blissfali]

when i was 12 and really depressed i tried keeping a journal but when i went to school one day i just. kept it at the top of the fridge because i was too lazy to put it in my room upstairs and i had to run to the bus. At this point there was like a sentence or 2 per page and ONE page with like a paragraph or so of like. the worst moment of my life that had been going on at that point thgat my mom had no idea abt. so she opens the fridge later and the journal falls to the floor AND IT OPENS TO THAT SPECIFIC PAGE. BROTHER.? And she reads it obviously and then she pulled me out of school an hour later and took me to the pediatrician to take a depression diagnostic test 😭😭😭😭when i got home i ripped up the journal and threw it out amen. Never kept a journal ever again

[therainscene]

I think I might have figured out what the Mind Flayer really is.

This theory has been percolating in my brain for a while now; it hasn't really finished baking yet but I wanted to get the gist of it down before The First Shadow debuts.

Let’s begin at the Hawkins National Lab, 6th November 1983. For the second time in her young life, El faces terrifying and deeply traumatic circumstances which cause her powers to lash out and rip a gash in the fabric of reality.

Meanwhile, across town, Will is doing what every queer 12 year-old has done and finds an excuse to spend an extra moment alone with his crush.

His little gay heart is as aflutter as the garage lights.

(Strange, that. The lights, I mean -- considering that he's on the other side of town from the lab. Do you suppose the Demogorgon trekked all the way to Mike's house and quietly followed him home again?)

Will heads home, lost in thought as he cycles past the lab. Is he thinking about how sweet his new X-Men #134 is gonna be? Or is he thinking about something even sweeter? The lights flutter again.

And something in front of him notices.

Will has always been noticeable: his clothes, his mannerisms, his interests -- they've always attracted the attentions of bullies. Now something new -- or maybe something that was always there and is only now making itself known -- has attracted the attentions of a monster.

He runs home, he calls for help, but he's alone, there's no escape. He races to the shed and loads a gun like his father taught him -- but it's not in his nature to be violent. He freezes, petrified.

The lights surge as his terror wrestles control of his powers and uses them to puncture an escape route in the fabric of reality.

Why were we so quick to believe that the Demogorgon -- a minion of the guy whose whole thing is his inability to open gates -- was able to open its own temporary portals in S1 and then never again?

Will could plausibly have been responsible for every temporary portal in S1: he’s at the Byers house when the Demogorgon pushes through its walls; he's on the run to Castle Byers when Nancy stumbles across that portal in the woods; and he's plugged in to one of Vecna's vines during the finale -- something we see Vecna plug himself into when he remotely opens gates in S4.

There’s one exception though.

Barb likely slipped through a gate in Steve's pool, but how could Will have opened that one when he was in his bedroom at the time, talking to his mother through the lights?

Let me ask you this: isn't it interesting that of all the injuries Barb could have obtained in her passage to the Upside Down, she got a nosebleed?

I think powers are more common than we’ve been led to believe, and gates are a last-ditch self-defense mechanism for anyone with powers.

This is why the four curse victims’ deaths opened a gate: Vecna pushed them to their breaking point to artificially trigger the self-defense response. Those headaches and nosebleeds weren't caused by Vecna directly, but by their own powers acting up as they inched towards oblivion.

[Shoutout to @givehimthemedicine's underrated powers and blood theory for the idea of Vecna's Curse being the overcharging of his victims' own powers.]

It was already pretty obvious that Vecna's Curse is a metaphor for suicide, and this theory reinforces it: every kid who gets targeted by the horrors of Hawkins for being "different" tries to find some way to escape.

Willel's misfortune is that their powers are considerably more easily manifested than the average person's. Byler tells the story of visible vs invisible queerness, but that's just a reflection of the larger theme at play in the show: the visible and invisible ways kids are othered and abused.

Max's trauma was a quiet thing that came from within and festered until it was almost too late to save her... but Willel's trauma manifests as a giant monster that openly hunts them down.

And I'm being literal when I say the Mind Flayer is a manifestation of their trauma.

We know that Vecna fashioned the Mind Flayer from a cloud of black particles he found in the Upside Down, but where did that cloud come from? The Upside Down is a mysterious enough place that it's easy to assume the Shadow is native to that realm... but what if it isn't?

The Mind Flayer is heavily associated with repression -- Will gradually lost his memories while he was possessed, and El lost her powers when the sliver of Flesh Flayer wormed its way into her leg.

But Will has mysteriously been without powers ever since leaving the Upside Down, and we've seen El lose memories too: her memories of surviving the lab massacre, in which she didn't simply escape by opening up a gate, but by disintegrating her attacker into black particles.

The Mind Flayer doesn't cause repression -- it is repression.

There must have been countless generations worth of traumatized children who took the extra step El did and sent their abusers -- or at least their memories of abuse -- into that hidden realm beyond the gate.

(There's also the possibility that Mr. Time-is-Just-a-Social-Construct is stuck in a time loop of some sort -- maybe the massacre has repeated hundreds of times, and Dimension X is a timeless graveyard of El's attempts to repress her trauma. This would explain why Henry seems to have both disintegrated and survived: we were watching at least two different iterations of the massacre all along.)

Whichever way you slice it, it's a perfect fit: the tool Vecna uses to perpetuate the cycle of abuse isn't some bizarro alien from an alternate dimension, but a direct consequence of the cycle itself.

The Mind Flayer tells us that escape alone doesn't work as a long-term solution: it might help you survive the initial abuse, but if you don't address the effect it had on you...

...it will come back to wreck havok.

[Edit: Click here for post-TFS thoughts on this theory]

[tohjwcc]

Who am I? INTRODUCTION

Alright, so I've been here for like..half a year now? I actually don't entirely know, but ish 6 months. But I feel like I want to introduce myself. Idk why.

- So. Hi. I'm tohjwcc.. I honestly wanna change it, but I'm scared people won't recognize me if I do so haha. So, I guess I'm stuck with it for a lil while longer. Guess I'm just a "normal" (heck I'm not, I'm weird as f-) teenager...ehm, well, going to highschool after summer. Yasammy/cc/ct nerd, basically.

- My personality is complicated. For any camp cretaceous fan, I can easily describe myself as a softer version of Yaz. I have a strong Yaz side, but another big piece of my personality is just quirky and weird and funny (people say I'm funny.. so I hope they're telling the truth lol). But also, I've been told... SO. MANY. TIMES.... That I'm too nice for my own good. I'm kind and nice to everyone. I can't be mean to anyone. At least not on purpose. That is one thing that separates me and Yaz from being completely identical (personalitywise) (which again isn't entirely true, my quirky and weird side is bigger than my serious/Yaz side. I'm basically the yasammy icon. That quirky side could be referred to as Sammy lol.) But ofc there are other small stuff that also separates us two a little but yeah. (Tbh idk... I haven't really figured myself out yet. Idk what I am like, I just wanna be like Yaz cuz I love her so deeply and I can really relate to her in so many different ways. Idk, maybe I'm just not like her at all. Maybe I just wanna be like her...? Ugh, I don't know, I don't know myself. Dang it. My dream is to be cool. Like my girl Yaz. Okay, enough rambling).

- English is sadly not my first/native language, so any bad grammar or wrong wording could appear, so I apologize for that. I also like to make up new words, so if there's a word you've never heard before, it's probably one of my new creations. Confusion can appear, you've been warned.

- On this blog.. is it a blog? I don't even know. Anyways, on this account thingy I mostly post about camp cretaceous/chaos theory. That is where my main interest is. That leads us to my next.. ugh, me and words. I don't even know what it's called in my language. Paragraph, maybe? Let's go with that. That leads us to my next paragraph.

- Favorite shows. I've got a LOT, but the ones that might appear on this account are probably just Jwct/jwcc and the owl house. There's a chance like stranger things and heartstopper could be joining us too. I know nothing. I could be posting/reblogging random crap as well, so nothing is for sure.

- I started watching camp cretaceous when season 3 had been released. I was in my "Jurassic world era", so I had been watching all the Jurassic world movies (ish), so I guess I just wanted to rewatch some of them again, and then I saw it. "Jurassic world camp cretaceous". I was like "OoO". I began to watch it, and fell in love with it IMMEDIATELY. Also, a funny fun fact, I started watching it when I was 12. And now I'm 15. This means I was as old as the youngest character when I started watching it, and I am NOW as old as the OLDEST characters are in the show. This show has been with me through all my teenage years so far. I'm so greatful for this show and these campers. They helped me through so much, and I could never thank them enough.

-The jwcc character i can relate most to is Yaz. 10000%. Like I said before, she is so me. My friend says I'm a Yaz, and she once said I even looked like Yaz, which is cool, but idk how cuz I'm not a brunette haha. But these are the bestest compliments I've ever gotten.

Shoutout to anyone who even bothers to read this lmao. I might add stuff to this later, who knows.

Have a great day ^^

[nerves-nebula]

Shoutout to the time my little cousin (like 12 years old) saw me drawing one of my OCs and was like “WHY ARE THEY FAT!!!” (He’s almost always shouting) And I was like “cuz fat ppl are cool” and he was just like “!! NO!!” And I was like “yes, actually.” and he looked so surprised and slightly angry that he just went back to wrestling with my sister.

Anyway he’s never had any kind of filter and I think he might be autistic (hence the inability to control the volume of his voice) so it wasn’t really surprising that he just straight up asked me, but that was interesting I guess.

Oh also one of my cousins brought their friend over and I got along with him super well because we were both secretly trans. He was wearing a rainbow pride bracelet and I was like “oh I had one of those but mine broke!” And we were both awkward and stuff but he asked for a hug before I left and it was honestly the nicest family reunion I’d ever had.

[dazaiconfused]

i got tagged by @catboymisogynist and ty!!! it turns out i’m wearing my NO shirt on the right day-

1. How long have you been a New Order fan? i know it started after watching 24 hour party people in 2019 but i don’t think i really sat down and listened to an album until 2020

2. How many New Order concerts have you been to? sadly zero. maybe one day i will when i can get fix my fate

3. What was your favourite New Order gig? i absolutely love one of their very early tv performances in 1981 on Granada television in Manchester. i’ll add the link at the bottom cause it’s worth watching i promise

4. What is your fav New Order album? i always say PC&L and i still can’t refute it

5. Fav New Order song? judging by my most played tracks it’s Mr Disco but in my heart it’s Touched by the Hand of God

6. Favourite Member of New Order? giving a shoutout to Stephen for being there since the beginning and still remaining sane after all these years

7. Favourite Former Member of New Order? can i just say peter hook was kind okay during the 80s period so i guess i’ll say like 1983 hooky

8. How many NO albums do you own? currently i have 4(?) cds though ive had more in the past - a few were passed to other peeps

9. Do you own any Joy Division? still searching for a copy of Closer but ive got Unknown Pleasures and a Best Of cd

10. Least Favourite album? ngl, Waiting for the Sirens’ Call 🤷‍♀️

11. Do you have all the side project albums? definitely not because hooky’s band/thing from the 90s doesn’t appeal to me and Electronic + The Other Two stuff is so rare in the wild rip

12. Which is your favourite side project Electronic is my: babygirlmybelovedmybestfriendmyonetruelovethebestofbothworldsilovethemwithallmyheartandsoul

13. Favourite remix? The ‘90 Confusion mixes are honestly better than the ‘83 original to me

14. Favourite video? Touched by the Hand of God

15. Favourite cover? CHIRS LOWE DOES SUBCULTURE aka thank you Stop Modernists ur amazing

16. Should Hooky rejoin the band? fuck no

17. Do you like Barney’s dancing and fav dance moves? yes and whenever he spins in some way

18. How many times a day do you listen to NO? not as much as i used to but at least two separate times a day is set aside for NO listening

19. Is New Order your favourite band? unfortunately i suffer from a crippling addiction to the pet shop boys which hinders my full capacity to have them be my favourite and yes please pray for me

20. Should Steve audition for Dr. Who? id give him money to yes

21. Favourite Barney collaboration? i always think about him producing some things for the happy mondays which means he was practically a babysitter for strung out late 20yr olds which is something we should never forget

i just want to tag @blue-dreamers-eyes because i know you’ll have very interesting thoughts on this and you're a more dedicated fan than me by this point

lastly the Granada tv performance: https://youtu.be/48E74Lun7kA?si=G18zQK330C2jP5VA

[notsohehehahanow]

can i ask if there's a reason you don't also have gender fluid thoughts for will or others that aren't just finn being white, used to be skinny and soft looking? like since there's not one way to be fluid or enby etc but he seems like people use his teenage self as the cliche modern "ideal" that puts whiteness and skinniness as the pinnacle of what acceptably fluid or trans looks like, even though will or any other boy could also be fluid/trans even if they don't look "androgynous" like finn used to? it's just interesting to me since i see "I relate to mike" from people but not sure if they think about why exactly they pick him

oh i definitely do have ideas of trans/genderfluid/enby will however theyre not as prominent as they are with mike

theres no like specific reason for it besides i feel like it could just like tie in to mike trying to figure himself out instead of just being whatever his parents raised him to be

at least once hes been referred to as "a kid trying to be normal" by finn himself (forgive me if im wrong on the quote but its something along the lines 🙏) and through season 1-3 hes generally your average 12-14 year old boy and looks it but after meeting eddie and sort of stepping outside his comfort zone

theres a lot more getting comfortable and trying to figure out who he is and what he likes appearance wise as he does generally take a step closer to alternative, i believe metalhead in specific (correct me if im wrong 🙏), fashion and i just like the idea of him doing the same when it comes to identity

its definitely not a look thing, its more so a vibe or idea type thing as i myself am. not a tall nor skinny person

i like trans/genderfluid/enby mike more because for me its also a relatability thing. i find that its easy for me to relate to mike (and multiple other finn wolfhard characters. shoutout richie and trevor, literally me btw) and i tend to have a harder time finding characters to relate too that also struggle with knowing who they are even at a young age so adding bits of myself into my favorite characters is something that i just like to do

t4t lesbian byler for the win by the way chat 🙏🙏

[choicesfandomappreciation]

Choices Spread Kindness Celebration

Welcome to the second annual Choices Spread Kindness Celebration! This event begins on Social Media Kindness Day (November 9) and "ends" on World Kindness Day (November 13). I say "ends" because I added another bonus day for the 14th, which is new this year (so it technically ends on the 14th, but that's not a special World Kindness day lol)

The goal of the event is simple: spread kindness in the fandom by shouting out people who make it great. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness can change someone’s day.

Event Overview / Themed Days

November 09: Choices Fandom Shoutout Day

November 10: Writer’s Love Day

November 11: Artist's Love Day

November 12: Creator's Love Day

November 13: Fandom Love/Secret Admirer  (Please sign up by 11/6)

November 14: Self-Love Day

Use the tag #ChoicesSpreadKindness when you post

*Special prize/giveaway opportunity at the end of the post*

***Please see below the cut for details on each day and how to participate

November 09: Choices Fandom Shoutouts! Let’s kick things off by showering people with love!

This can be for anyone: readers, supporters, creators….anyone in the fandom in any capacity! Let people know they're important to you and make a difference to your time here in the fandom. Everyone deserves to feel a little special and appreciated now and then.

Give them a shoutout here, @choicesfandomappreciation!

Fill their inbox with love and encouragement

Send Anon messages of support

Gift them edits, moodboards, drabbles, or anything small that they enjoy to bring a smile to their face

*Just a special note to remember your readers/supporters, make sure to send them love too!

November 10: Writer’s Love Day Some ideas to show your favorite writers some love:

Reblog your favorite stories they’ve written

Share their master list with your followers

Send love to their inbox

Give them a shoutout here

Post about why you love them

Share your favorite lines from their fics

Ask questions about their MCs/OCs

Find a new writer to support by checking out @choicesficwriterscreations's extensive database of many Choices books (new and old)

November 11: Artist’s Love Day Some ideas to show your favorite artists some love:

Reblog your favorite art they’ve done

Share their commission information (if available)

Send love to their inbox

Give them a shoutout here

Commission some art (if you can)

Find a new artist to support

November 12: Creator Love Day This is a day for any other content creators: editors, moodboard makers, songwriters, playlist creators, event organizers, headcanon creators, etc (anyone who does not fall under the writer or artist days that creates for the fandom, even if just for MC / OC challenges/games)

Some ideas to show them love:

Reblog your favorite content they’ve created

If they have a master list share it

Send love to their inbox

Give them a shoutout here

November 13: Fandom Love Day (Secret Admirer Day) This is sort of like secret Santa but just for kind messages. You do not need to create, buy, or gift anyone anything. This is open to anyone in the fandom (creator, reader, supporter, anyone!)

All that is required is that you write the person you’ve been assigned a kind, encouraging, supportive message for November 13th. It can be generic, but I do encourage you to take a few minutes to look over the person's blog and see if you can give them a compliment specific to them that might be more meaningful.

To participate, message me here (@choicesfandomappreciation) or @lovealexhunt and let me know you want to join. *If there is someone you absolutely can not be paired with please let me know that too, no judgement and it will be kept private.

On November 6th, I will randomize everyone who is interested in participating and send you one person’s name within a day or so. On November 13th, send your message to this blog anonymously (@choicesfandomappreciation ).

I will tag your person so they see your message.

Feel free to reblog others’ messages of support and appreciation and add on to the thread.

November 14: Self Love Day (Bonus Day) Some ideas to show yourself some love:

Reblog your favorite content that you've created

Make a post introducing your MC or OC if you haven't already (then, submit it to @choicesficwriterscreations for their database)

Make a post linking your favorite works (recent or older)

Tell more about you (let us know your favorite things outside of the Choices Fandom)

Give yourself a compliment (you deserve it!)

Share your masterlist

Create or do something self-indulgent/spoil yourself

Don't forget to drink water 💛

If you reblog/reshare your work on your blog, feel free to tag @choicesfandomappreciation and I can also share your content here

*This theme is new to this year, any feedback would be appreciated

💜 Special Prize Opportunity💜

For this year's event, @choicesficwriterscreations offered to randomly select a user to feature in the month of December.

To be considered, you must participate in this Spread Kindness event and you must be following @choicesficwriterscreations.

This is open to everyone who meets the two criteria above . You do not necessarily have to be a writer. You also are still eligible even if you're a writer who has already been featured by the blog!

💜 Art Giveaway #1💜

A two-character Cheeb commission from @weetlebeetle

💜 Art Giveaway #2 💜

A two person half-body commission from @bayleedrawsx (thanks to an anonymous donor 💛)

To be considered for either Art Giveaway..

You must participate in the Spread Kindness Event

You do not need to be following @choicesfandomappreciation, @weetlebeetle, or @bayleedraws BUT it would be really amazing if you could be.

Disclaimer: All prizes will be chosen randomly via Wheel of Names following the conclusion of the event. As the host, @lovealexhunt will not be eligible prizes. Winners agree to abide by the policies and guidelines of the artists' above.

💜 💜 💜 💜 💜

Please let me know if you have any questions at all about any of the days and events here. I hope this brings a smile to someone who needs it!

Don't forget to use the tag #ChoicesSpreadKindness when you post!

💜 @lovealexhunt

[letstalkwhump]

Let's Talk Whump No.14

Welcome to Let’s Talk Whump, a series of interviews that spotlight the amazing people in our whump community! I’m Malice and I’ll be your host. 

Today I’m talking whump with the wonderful @livelaughwhump!

Great to have you here! Let’s start with a fact or two about yourself!

Greetings! My name is Armin, I'm 19, and my pronouns are they/them! I work as a daycare attendant/assistant preschool teacher. I love crocheting, cross-stitching, and basically anything crafting-related

What does whump mean to you?

Wow, there's a lot I could say to answer this

I think whump is the only interest that I can say I've had for my entire life. I think I got into it when I was about seven-years old and it's one of my only interests that has not faded over time. I find it very freeing to be able to delve into the dark and disturbing parts of my brain instead of ignoring them.

And how did you find the whump community? What made you want to join?

I've been interested in whump for most of my life, but I haven't been a part of the tumblr whump community very long. In fact, I think I only joined in October of 2022. I believe I found some screenshots from whumpblr on pinterest, which led to me going on Tumblr and diving deeper into the content on here.

Has your view on whump changed since you joined? I think so. Before I knew what whump was, I always thought that there was something deeply wrong with me because I enjoyed torturing fictional characters so much. So, it was very relieving to find out there was not only a word for it, but also a community of people that enjoyed the same disturbing things I did. Other than my personal opinion on whump itself, I don't think my favourite tropes or anything really changed.

And your favourite whump tropes?

Oh god, there's so many, but I think my main favorites are captivity, pet whump, dehumanization, muzzles/gags, sensory deprivation, hurt/comfort, etc. There are plenty more but I don't think I can list all of them.

They’re all so good! Do you have a favourite piece or pieces that you've written? 

Oh god, I don't think I can pick a favorite. I love my whole Worthless series, but I think Chapter 12 is one of my all time favorites. My Birthday Gift drabble, my Strays drabble, and my Panic drabble also get an honorable mention.

These are so good! Do you have a regular writing routine or more when the inspiration strikes?

I don't really have a routine, I kind of just write whenever I'm feeling motivated. I usually write on my lunch breaks at work, or late into the night when I should be getting to bed.

What do you find easy to write? Is there anything you struggle with?

Dialogue is easily where I thrive. I'm not good at describing things or explaining actions, but I consider myself pretty good at writing convincing dialogue. Probably because I end up having conversations with myself as my characters, which makes finding natural dialogue pretty easy.

Anything you're working on at the moment?

I am currently working on chapter 16 of my Worthless series, but it's been at a standstill for a couple days. Making up the stories in my head is so much easier than actually writing them.

That last bit is very relatable…Is there any advice you’d like to share?

Write what you would want to read! Don't worry about pleasing everyone because that is literally not possible. Write for yourself and no one else!

Shoutout time! 

@whump-queen, @whumpsday, and @oddsconvert are my top three sources of inspiration. They are all awesome people and amazing writers and their stories have inspired me so much!!

Honorable mention to @rosekins6211 for being one of my biggest supporters!! Literally could not do it without her!!

Anything you'd like to add?

Thank you to everyone that has supported me and read my weird little stories! And thank you, Malice, for having me!

Show no mercy, and happy whumping, everyone!

THank you so much for joining us today, @livelaughwhump! 

And to all you folks at home, have a whump-derful day!

[umichenginabroad]

Madrid, Week 1: La Bicicriti

Hola a todxs, soy Niko otra vez!! I’ve been in Madrid now for a little longer than a week, but it has felt like I’ve been here for a month. I watched a VSauce video about this phenomenon a while ago; Basically, when your days are filled with many novel, interesting events, your brain remembers the time spent as feeling longer than reality because there are more memories filling the space. That’s definitely true. I’m writing this in a cute cafe in the neighborhood Lavapies, while some old guy named Jesus who speaks in an accent that I can barely understand starts conversation with me, just one example.

As I mentioned last week, one of my hobbies is rollerblading. I started doing it when I was around 12 years old. I loved doing aggressive/trick rollerblading in skate parks, and I even went to a sleepaway camp to skate one summer. It was super epic.

Then, highschool started, and I lost a whole lot of time; I stopped rollerblading — until I rediscovered it in college again. At Michigan, I found people that loved rollerblading as much if not more than me, and the activity turned from something nerdy that I used to do when I was little into something cool in which I could find a community at Michigan (shoutout skate club!).

So, when I was preparing to leave for Madrid, I struggled with the decision to bring my skates or not. They probably weigh 10 pounds or something absurd, not very conducive to luggage with weight limits. But a friend of mine who had studied in Europe in the past told me I’d be crazy not to bring them; they were right.

Fast forward a week after I arrive, and I’m rollerblading through the streets of Madrid, drum & bass music blasting from a massive speaker strapped to someone’s bike, a mob of bikers, longboarders, and rollerbladers alike engulfing me on all sides. No police, no group leader, no motors, just a critical mass of people partying and celebrating sustainable travel.

However, finding this “party on wheels” (as my new friend Jander described it) wouldn’t have been possible if not for a good amount of courage and trust. How did I find it? It was a multi step process:

Step 1: Look up on Google “rollerblading in madrid”. Find the instagram page “@madrid.fns”, or Friday night skate, which does a big skate through the city one Friday every month.

Step 2: Go to the first FNS event. It got rained out, so it was rescheduled to an indoor skate rink. I went there alone, feeling timid but determined to get involved in the community. When I arrived, I strapped on my skates and started going around the circle somewhat awkwardly practicing my footwork, wanting to start a conversation but not confident enough to interac with anyone.

Step 3: Have a nice middle aged rollerblading spanish guy approach you because you definitely looked super awkward. We started talking, my nerves imposing somewhat of a block on my spanish speaking abilities. However, we talked about how we started skating, about the event, and about the blading community in Madrid. He added me to a Telegram group chat that people use to organize rollerblading routes in the city throughout the week. After this, I loosened up a little and started meeting the other bladers there. Notably, I met helicopter pilot from germany named Zoe who taught me how to powerslide.

Step 4: Go to one of the skating events you saw in the telegram group. I hopped on the Subway, rollerblades in hand, prepared to do a route called “Héroes” run by a certain Jesus (not the old man). I managed to find the meeting spot, introduced myself to a few people, and then we were off. The route started off tame and ended up with some pretty insane hill bombs, skating on Gran Via (the Broadway street of Madrid), and weaving through pedestrians in the tiny walking streets in the city center. It was pretty epic.

Step 5: Meet three dudes: Jander, Dester, and Kevin, who are experienced rollerbladers. Talk with them, beatbox for Jander while he freestyles in spanish, skate a bit more through the streets while trying to keep up (their skates are way better than mine for speed, I was SWEATING trying to keep their pace). Before we parted ways, Jander told me about the Bicicritica (spanish version of Critical Mass) — the aforementioned “party on wheels” that happens once on the last Thursday of every month. 

Step 6: Meet up with Jander, Dester, Kevin, and some of their other friends for the Bicicritica and have a blast, meeting tons of other spanish bladers (and a British biker) in the process. The Bicicriti is kind of anti-establishment/communist in nature. There are no group leaders, and there's not a police escort or anything. It's kind of just a big mass of bikers and rollerbladers that take the streets and have a good time, all while promoting sustainable travel. Rollerblading in a huge group, listening to electronic music, seeing the city of Madrid, all while drinking a beer — what more could I ask for?

To be honest, I’m pretty proud of myself for how much I’ve gotten integrated into the community so quickly into my trip. Thinking back, this whole week patinando (skating) offered a huge opportunity to overcome that little voice in my head that says I shouldn’t. At multiple points throughout the multi-step process above, I felt quite uncomfortable. Whether that be due to social anxiety or insecurity (in my spanish language or rollerblading skills), I had to continually convince myself that these feelings were okay, and that if only I endured them a little bit longer, things would get better. And they did, and what was on the other side was 100x worth the discomfort I felt getting there.

Also, people are nice. It’s easy to forget that other people have as much empathy as I do, if not more. When given the chance, everyone I met was warm, and I felt very welcome in the community even as an outsider (and an American, which comes with its own stereotypes. I think I dodged these stereotypes by entering interactions with a large dose of cultural humility). The guys that I befriended welcomed me with open arms, and I’m excited to continue to get to know them. One remaining point of contention: It’s easy to make friends with people when the time spent with them surrounds a common activity. But I’m craving deeper relationships, which may not be as easy to form in this context. We’ll see where we go with that.

I’m very excited to keep blading in Madrid throughout the semester. Urban skating in a truly urban environment is an absolute blast. I’m gonna continue pushing through that discomfort throughout the rest of the semester in everything I do, hopefully bringing about new people and opportunities to experience. 

This week, I also registered for classes, got tapas with new American friends, walked around Madrid a TON, went to the Prado museum, got famous churros from la Chocolatería de San Ginés, and partied a bit. Check out the photos and descriptions below for a little bit more on those.

Hasta la próxima semana.

Niko Economos

Aerospace Engineering

Universidad Carlos III de Madrid

Madrid, Spain

[baronetcoins]

fic writer asks

tagged by @chiropteracupola - I so do love attention, and these were interesting questions for sure

ao3 name: BaronetCoins (I have Consistent Branding, goddammit)

fandoms: Somewhat actively? Henry V (1989), various MCYT subgroups, and Destiny. In the past, I've done some magnus archives and some rusty quill gaming. Temeraire is hanging around on the periphery though, threatening to add itself to the list without my wish.

number of works: 92. I do write many short things.

work I spent the most time on: cough. polite cough. Oberth Maneuver. I started work on the concept in December of 2021. It's the only thing to have gotten full revisions as I'm writing

work I spent the least time on: Not Interested. Jesus christ I don't want to think about this one for quality reasons, but I used to churn out this quick destiny stuff in like... less than 30 minutes at a time.

longest fic: oberth maneuver again

shortest fic: You ordered well / They brought you medium rare. Shoutout to the 48 hour mcyt exchange for being one of the most batshit things I agreed to do ever.

most hits: May Your Days Be Merry and Bright. I don't even like this fic. God. Why does the magnus archives fandom find a three year old christmas fic in the middle of june and read it. I once had someone on a discord server read it before they knew me, and then tell me it was one of their comfort favorites. I should orphan it /hj

most kudos: above

total word count: 165,329

favorite work of my own: Man, I'm gonna have to pick two here. One is short, and doesn't hit unless you've familiar with both the source material and hamlet, but I am so I like it. the formatting fought me, but it was worth it. [I'm still here (but all is lost)]

the other is a fan favorite (Hi, Remmy, if you read this) and I think my favorite as a work that tried to contain a Plot instead of Vibes. I felt a Funeral, in my Brain. I don't know, It's rather too late for me to be very coherent but considering how much writing I do for myself alone, it's gratifying to write something that other people also want to read on occasion.

fic you want to rewrite / expand on: eugh. okay. I get bored of a concept very easily, so I can't say there's anything I'd rewrite, but I have so many aus or ideas I've promised myself I'm not quite done yet and will circle back around too. Some of them haven't seen the light of day at all yet, but hopefully will someday?

To name a few, not collecting links because there are many, I'd like to circle back around to: both of my baseball aus, per audacia, ahamkara au golden age flavor (that's COMING. I'm WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOW), and ITAV the cooking blog which is one Hell of a thing I'd like to do someday.

share a bit of a WIP: ah FUCK i forgot six sentence sunday. that means 12 sentences next week and I offer you a bit of WIP. as penance.

“Vous semblez dangereux.” He said as much.  Henry processed for a moment, chewing on the words. When he spoke again, it was clumsy. “Quoi voulez-vous dire?”  “Que.” He corrected mindlessly.  “Que voulez-vous dire?” “Vous êtes une distraction.”

Henry V college AU. Because I need Something to hold on to to get through my spanish homework. allow me my self indulgence.

tagging; the court, of course: @kangoo and @kingstealer if you wish. Further, @bidoofenergy, and @arcaneglitch

[fadda]

3, 4, 11, 12, & 15 from the asks :]

3. did a relationship with an F/O change in a major way (i.e. you started dating a platonic F/O or realized you prefer a formerly romantic F/O to be a friend, got married/engaged to an F/O, etc)? if so, did it happen more spontaneously, or was it something you had planned for a while?

I love that this asks if you friendzoned someone. cuck chair. I did like start shipping with more like characters I used to like/childhood crushes/characters I was like embarrassed about.

4. who would you crown to be your “F/O of the year”? (the criteria for what makes them F/O of the year are entirely up to you!)

boy of the year...

11. has an F/O inspired you to pick up a new hobby/interest/habit this year?

Shoutout to Harold, sorry i've killed so many orchids though. I rebloomed some and got a clone going but ive managed to eventually kill all but the one ive had for 3 years now + the ones in odo's vivarium.

12. if you have spotify wrapped, were there any songs related to your F/O(s)/selfships in your top 100? if you don’t, were there any songs you listened to a lot this year because they remind you of your F/O(s)?

I think songs end up on my ship playlists because I like them more than the other way around. Though, just like you power of love is in my top 10 ausdhaskjd. A lot of the music I listen too isn't like the best for playlists though. Unless my old men are rocking to skinny puppy.

15. is there any piece of selfship-related content you’ve created this year that you’re particularly fond of? (this can be art, writing, a headcanon you came up with, etc. anything counts!)

I drew kissies for u this year but I dont think I really drew like full kissies for me? I cant remember what is this year and what is last year. I am proud of my playlists and pinterest boards. Everybody has a pinterest board but not everyone has a playlist.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3zbWWYVOue63phN9cgeWqY?si=Z5MTMghXQSGhj_3uJWYOrA

From this one you should be able to go see all my others, not all of them are good or finished though aha

https://pin.it/5RIj1GB

Here in my pinterest, recently I started to merge boards from the same media because I had so many it was hard to navigate. Again.... some are alot better than others.

[ohhcalamxty]

hello. its been a while? 5 years actually. what a place this is! what a trip down memory lane of many emotions.

a quick tldr: im 25 now, im engaged and live with my amazing partner and 2 cats. i am ed free (for the most part - i still struggle to love my body sometimes), clean, and i am in therapy! a place i never would have thought id be.

i didnt think id come back here like. ever. but ive been having nightmares of sam recently. its odd isnt it, how the brain works? i havent seen sam in 7 years? since the 2nd june 2018 to be exact, and yet he haunts me. why?

this is an odd correlation but recently i got into taylor swift. her music has been wonderfully cathartic and whilst i never assumed id be one of those girls who screams breakup songs and curses them at my exes....here we are.

TTPD (and most of taylors sad songs) unhealed me, so to speak, or at least awoke something in me. i wouldn't ever proclaim i have had bad relationships. i am always grateful for the time myself and owen spent together, and i am extremely happy with josh (I'd say 2/4 of my relationships being good is pretty huge) but here I am screaming and crying over break up songs at the eras tour and tearing up in the shower because they resonate with a point in my life and put my feelings into words in a way I've never been able to do.

elliot was interesting but i try not to curse his name so much as we were 14 and maybe he didn't mean what he did because he didn't understand consent, or maybe i am naive and too nice - i guess we'll never know because he quite literally dropped off the face of the earth! (Also, minor shoutout for him delaying dumping me because my grandma died! i do appreciate that at least!)

sam however....oh where do I begin with sam!

"Were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?"

I think I spent a lot of my teen years reflecting on sam, because well, he fucked me up so much. i mean how emotionally spent must I be to have nightmares of someone who I spent less than 12 months with at the age of 16, and then collided with again for a single night at the age of 19. Clearly we're fucked here.

I cannot find the words to describe you, and I'm unsure what i did to deserve a love like this. You had a girlfriend that you loved and were with for years, and then I (your close friend at the time) got dumped, and you make your move. We hang out a lot, cool, fine, nothing new as we were friends anyway. My mind is hazy on how it started or when we went from friends to whatever we were but it haunts me so much lmao.

The constant talks of i was the one, and that yes I will leave her for you. I fear nobody ever talks about being the other woman because its so odd - it isnt a flex, it isnt cool or sexy. it fucking sucks and it fucked me up but i liked sam so much i believed it. I mean picture this: you're 16, just lost your grandma, heavily depressed, self harming, riddled with an ed and have been dumped but low and behold your best friend tells you he loves you and plays with your hair and holds you. we go on dates and have sleepovers with friends (he still had a gf btw) hes fucked up too but he worries and cares about you more than anyone else, but at the cost of if you try to pull away he hurts himself, and threatens suicide (and believe me he'd do it) - stuck between a rock and a hard place aye.

"And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts - Memories feel like weapons"

Less than a year of back and forth, misery and stringing along. I can't remember how or why it ended but I know it took a lot of attempts of pulling away (and him pulling me back) to get away. A lot of bits are hazy but I can assume it must have been around the time when I met owen? There are old screenshots on here of sam talking to me and they make me feel unwell (not an exaggeration) - his words (even after it all ended) and how he tried to act like he cared makes me feel like a pit inside (even now). I do however find it funny that my posts from 2015 and 2016 about him claiming hes ruined my life don't seem that dramatic now that im 25 and having nightmares about him.

"Oh, God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind - I regret you all the time"

I think I would have been ok if this was it. I don't think I would be grieving my past self, my girlhood, my naivety if this was all - i very much had support through my other relationships to help the sam trauma which i do appreciate. But it doesnt end here does it? Nah thats too easy.

"Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden"

2nd June 2018: Me and Josh had briefly split up. It was Karlies birthday and we went out in HTC (dire) and I guess because Hinckley is a tiny place and everyone goes to the same places we ran into a lot of people (some good some bad) - including Sam.

Ima be honest idk where he came from or who he was out with but there he was, buying me drinks, talking to me, I dont remember much but I can assume I was happy. I do however remember him leading me away, telling me we're heading to the next bar because that's where everyone else was going but we actually were heading in the complete opposite direction haha. god knows where we were going but on the walk we sat on a bench, i cried, i told him off, told him he ruined my life, he told me he'd missed me so much, he held me, i cried more, i hated him and then we just rinsed and repeated as he pootled me up castle street to wherever he was taking me. My friend rang me, I told them I was with sam, people came running (guess they all know hes bad news) and they (including josh, who was my ex at the time and ig technically hated me) beefed him until he left and that was that. I haven't seen him since - i still dont know where he was taking me or what his plan was. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I didnt answer the phone, sometimes I wish I hadn't and that maybe I deserved whatever would happen. Maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion, being dramatic, but the trauma of the emotions that 16 year old me feels is still there. It haunts me.

"Don't call me "kid", Don't call me "baby" Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me"

So here we are. I guess I'm bringing this up at therapy in a few weeks because these feelings won't disappear (and Honestly I'm not sure why they reappeared other than being repressed emotions). I wonder though, has this affected you as much as it as me? Do you feel bad about what you did? Are you suffering? Do you think about me? Do you feel bad that you had such control over me or did you enjoy it? Claiming you've lost sleep over me and that you want to protect and help me? Was any of it true I wonder.

"And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?"

I suppose I'll never know, but I can only hope that memories of me haunt you as much as they haunt me. I hope you get everything you deserve, and I hope I can heal. My skin is no longer the skin you touched, I no longer physically feel you, and I hope one day my memories of you will be hazy and faded, and I don't need to jump at ghosts anymore.

And my therapist wonders why I really dislike men huh.

[the-cat-chat]

June 22, 2024

Captain Phillips (2013)

The true story of Captain Richard Phillips and the 2009 hijacking by Somali pirates of the U.S.-flagged MV Maersk Alabama, the first American cargo ship to be hijacked in two hundred years.

Warning: Review may contain spoilers. Read at your own risk.

JayBell: This movie is so stressful. I almost felt like I was the one being held hostage and kidnapped by gun-wielding pirates. Even knowing how the movie ends, I do think it does a great job building tension throughout.

Tom Hanks is great at playing the likable every-man here. I like that he's smart in this movie, but also very scared and vulnerable too. He doesn't break out the ninja moves, turn into MacGyver, or somehow become a self-rescuing super hero. He's just a resilient guy who tries his best. And aren't we all?

I love the level of understanding that kind of develops between the main pirate and Tom Hanks' character. It isn't quite forgiveness or anything, but the pirates don't feel like crazy super villains. You understand why they make the choices they make, even as you hope they don't make them. It's interesting that they are so young and disorganized and naive in their pirating, yet feel so dangerous and unpredictable at the same time. It's a cool balance to watch.

I was very engaged and invested throughout the whole movie. It's entertaining, scary, well-acted, and emotional (shoutout to the captain's therapy bill in the final scene). I think it delivers on all its promises.

Rating: 8/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I knowwww JayBell said Tom Hanks is always the everyday guy vibe and he looks like everyone’s uncle in this movie, but I have to say I was distracted for the first maybe 15 minutes of this movie bc I swwwear he was giving specifically my one uncle vibes. It was the glasses. The shirt. The whole old man in early/mid 2000s outfit. The watch. The glasses. The GOATEE!! Ok it’s out of my system.

That being said the rest of the movie had me sick. I was so panicked and nervous my nails and cuticles were wrecked for days. I’m feeling a cold sweat come over me now. It’s such an experience. And I have to say I was skeptical- I was like ok Tom Hanks is a captain of a boat that gets taken over by Somali pirates based on a true story - ohhhh I wonder how this goes. But it was good and I was so invested.

That being said- being stuck in that life boat?? Wowzers. And the crew complaining that they want off it’s too dangerous?? You’re in open water carrying cargo??? Even if there weren’t pirates WHIcH HaVe ExiSTedD FoReveRrr - it’s open water??? That’s inherently dangerous and where are you gonna go?? I also would love to complain about the very slow response from any help they called in when they very quickly notice there were pirates trying to hijack them- like what the fluff?

Anywayyyy for a biopicish kinda vibe it was A+. And I’ll never see another boat without thinking “I’m the captain now” like I’m 12 years old again.

Rating: 6/10 Fishies 🐟

[misqnon]

hi, i just read all of ur posts tagged as misqnon's one piece liveblogging and it was so much fun T-T. im here to rant about one piece and im sorry.

i really love seeing people react to content i am caught up with and hold close to my heart.

i got into the 800s in the anime and stopped watching, took a break and then read the manga up to around 1060. but last month i decided to read the whole thing from the beginning and it is genuinely SO WORTH IT.

after u have caught up completely its super rewarding to go back and look at previous chapters bc its constant "oh my god look what was foreshadowed here??" and "now i understand the context behind this!!!" and "this interaction is so much more meaningful now that i know their relationship!!". yes it did take me a whole month of nearly nonstop reading to catch back up but i have 0 regrets.

wano and the arc after it are both super fun and interesting and i think ur gonna love it. the lore is crazy. i hope u dont see any spoilers bc going into it completely blind will probably be way more exciting, especially with the most recent arc since its kinda suspenseful and mysterious,,.

anyways thats all i have to say how do you end these things.. take care!!

AAAAA ANON THIS IS SUCH A FUN MESSAGE TO RECIEVE THANK YOU...

I ended up talking a lot so I'll put this under a cut lol

I used to be the person who said I would never watch one piece 😭😭 I've been into anime since I was like 12 and I'm almost 24 now (fuck . That's like half my life) and obviously it's always been on my radar but I always thought it was 1. Too popular 2. Too Long 3. Hated how oda draws women lmao so I was fine ignoring it and only knowing the basics from just Being On The Internet

I think sometime early on I caved and attempted to watch it- I got to alabasta and stopped bc the anime pacing wasn't doing it for me (though I liked it up until then, but didn't LOVE it)

cut to high-school where a couple of my good friends liked it but we never really talked about it, it was a lifelong interest for one of them bc he'd started reading it on like 4th grade

Well I'm still friends with them (shoutout to sam and seb) and they convinced me to watch one piece film red with them in like July or August of last year bc they were showing me the songs and I, ado fan bc I'm a retired weaboo and a vocaloid Stan, was like "haha that sounds like ado" and they went "IT IS!!!!??" so I had to watch it for her.

again, I was like oh this is fun I like this :^) but no IMMEDIATE interest, more of a passive thing... until the live action came out a month or so later and I watched it just because and DAMN I FELL IN LOVE FAST

I went back to the anime and rewatched the beginning, then skipped back to alabasta where I had left off years and years ago and now I'm Here 🧍

I watched up through part of dressrosa before I started reading the manga, and now I'm doing that while watching certain episodes of just the parts I really wanna see animated

It's been. So Fun

I am now that person who's like Hey You Should Watch One Piece. I get it now. I so get it lmao. And you know the weirdest part is that with it being divided up into arcs like it is I find myself thinking it really doesn't feel that long!?!? Am I insane,

anyways. It's been a while since I was in an active fandom or even in a fandom at all - ESPECIALLY such a big one!?! (I was in college for 4 years and Busy).

but it's. Crazy. I'm writing fanfics and joining discord servers and I've never done that before. it's been very fun and rewarding tbh...I don't like a lot of things about oda and aspects he included and ofc one piece isn't perfect or unproblematic but it IS a really awesome epic of a story about friendship and found family and anti authority and its just.

I'm also a person who's always loved reaction videos or just even seeing otherppl react to things I like so I RELATE AND IM SO GLAD I CAN BE THAT FOR U...

I'm ngl as I've been reading I've been wanting to look up some old one piece forums dated the time certain reveals happened bc I want to see how people felt as this shit came out holy Shit....

it's additionally funny bc this blog is about 10 years old and has amassed a decent amount of followers over the years who were just into some of the other random stuff I've been into but I know a fair amount of them were thinking we were on the same page of not being into one piece and now here I am. Ruining that. And with the pervert character as my favorite no less. lmao SORRYYYY YALL <3

I'll leave u with this message I sent into the discord I share with some friends the other day, none of which really watch op, when asked to explain something about the show. In fact, I think the reasoning for this message was BECAUSE I was explaining to a friend just how much oda foreshadows things!! jinbei, kaido, haki, sanjis backstory, ALL being mentioned by name or referenced DECADES/YEARS BEFORE APPEARING ON SCREEN...HUNDREDS OF CHAPTERS APART....I could rant on more but I'll stop for now.

thank u for the message and feel free to dm me to talk about this silly show anytime bc its sunken its claws into me 😭

[willtoledoicedchai]

i'm iris (he/she, 20) and this is my music sideblog. main is @guppybycharlybliss i never use it though. i made this account because i exist to share love and joy and because my brain is a well oiled machine producing deranged things to say about songs&lyrics. favorite artists are. charly bliss sidney gish the mountain goats tyler the creator. underscores. a lot more but those are my top five guys right now. url is based off a joke i have with my friend about what will toledo would order at the coffee shop i work at. the iced chai would be a large and it would have oat milk and no flavor shots. here's ⬇️ a chart of my favorite albums ever in no particular order. hi :)

(open readmore for a list of shows i've seen ^_^)

computerwife, tv girl (08/whatever/2022): bad. i don't even like tv girl that much but it was the birthday of a friend who did so i got us tickets. the speakers and sound mixing were soooo shitty live and without the buffer of admittedly really pretty ethereal instrumentation the sad guy incel type misogyny of tv girl's lyrics is a LOT harder to ignore. also my friend passed out from dehydration so we had to leave early. that experience made me think i don't like live music but nah. i just don't like tv girl. computerwife was good though. shoutout computerwife

people planet, feeble little horse, sidney gish (12/30/2022): kicked so much ass. people planet was good not super my thing though. feeble little horse RULED best band name ever also. sidney gish was like indescribably amazing. my birthday is on new years eve so seeing her live was the last thing i did as an eighteen year old and im so glad it was. she has crazy stage presence and the crowd's energy was great and i ran into my childhood best friend there. all around awesome show. kumo 99, lustsickpuppy, cowgirl clue (03/11/2023): so so so so good. all the acts were amazing but i think lustsickpuppy was my favorite just cause of how insane and captivating their energy was. there was a part where they instructed the whole audience to bark for them and we all started woofing with UNRESTRAINED energy. my friend who i was with broke his glasses in the mosh pit but said it was worth it. three super talented artists and none of them disappointed. fuck yes.

raffaela, charly bliss (04/25/2023): raffaela ruled so extremely hard live and then me and my friend went home and looked them up on spotify and they were just kinda mid. i do have to respect the stage presence required to make mid songs sound straight up transcendent live. this isn't about them though. charly bliss was (guy with a charly bliss special interest voice) nothing short of incredible. i talked to eva hendricks briefly right before she went on and she was so nice and the music sounded so good and the venue was so cool and i was going so crazy. thank you charly bliss.

john-allison weiss, mal blum (07/13/2023): awesome. mal blum is an artist that meant a lot to me growing up and i was right up front like straight up making eye contact with them throughout the whole show and the venue was pretty small and it all just felt like really welcoming and warm and important. they're a great performer. john-allison weiss is also really great i keep meaning to check out their stuff more. the two have been friends for a while and kept exchanging jokes and anecdotes during the set it was really cute. when mal blum introduced a song as "this is about ocd" i cheered REALLY hard and i think i saw them look at me like ...?. sorry mal.

slothrust, the front bottoms (11/11/2023): charly bliss was supposed to be another opener but ended up not being able to make it. how sad. it's okay though because slothrust ripped. i had only heard like two songs by them before but now i'm thinking i need to check out more they were really excellent. the front bottoms were alright! they had good energy i think i just like them more on recordings than i do live. they did a little costume contest bit and the band played the ghostbusters theme which was cute. a good time all around.

peach fuzz, charly bliss (11/21/2023): UPCOMING >:D

[eruhamster]

shoutout to when i was so miserable living at my parents' with my abusive dad and no privacy whatsoever that i used to write the most disgusting, violent vegebul fanfic known to man and get hate mail on a daily basis about how evil i was for writing it. and then moved out and had to make one last chapter where i was like 'listen guys im not miserable anymore and physically cannot figure out what to write anymore. im normal now bye'

the kink is maintained through other people's comics and fanart n shit i just can't make my hands be the ones creating it anymore LOL

and that's like. tip of the iceberg. abuse does weird shit to your brain.

this is under a read more for a reason but LOL it just got me thinking of the kind of shit that i really cant discuss usually sjfgk

porn of anime kids where they're not just loli-looking and actually look and act like kids is fucked up but my brain is also fucked up enough that i have a weird interest in severe age gap caretaker/dependent kind of shit, but like. i end up putting myself in the position of the dependent. less weird when it's in a fantasy setting so you've got some thousands of years old god stuff going on where it's someone that's younger taking care of someone older that looks younger and was once older (ie paljae child of winter). also like.. caring for someone who's severely physically disabled. like double or quadruple amputee. i used to really like hetalia fanart of someone who made russia/china where yao was a douple or quadruple amputee and would get taken care of by ivan. i also remember some fucked up greentext from 4ch once that went over some really messed up fantasy of enslaved girls that get their limbs removed and get blinded and deafened and the only interactions they have with the world is like, sex toys and stuff and--

like this is shit i've been interested in since i was like. 12. and always in the position of the abused in these situations. oh how fucked up the brain can be. i think i just have issues with feeling neglected and not given any amount of special attention lmfao. i've said this before but in the right environment i definitely could have ended up in a situation like that chick in metamorphosis. probably also some kind of weird mental link as an aroace person with sexual stuff always having an inherent unequal relationship. thanks for coming to my therapy session doctor