#shouldnt have done that bc its terrible and i hate it

[hotchfiles]

stiles stilinski + i was all over her 🤞🤞

lari's 100th follower bash + send me a song and one of my boys for a drabble

stiles + salvia palth's i was all over her (back at that party, I was all over her, we didn't make out or do anything, I just remember I was lonely)

i didn't usually drink, alcohol always slowed me down and that was the exact opposite of what i usually wanted. i liked my senses sharp, i needed my senses sharp. being too slow meant losing important clues, missing clues meant an unfinished puzzle. when the puzzle wasn't finished, people died.

a huge responsibility to carry, i never minded it though, it kept me busy, kept my mind busy, made me important, gave me purpose: helping my friends. assisting. being useful.

today none of them needed that assistance though, busy with with college applications, graduation stuff that maybe i should be busying myself with as well, but thinking about that made me uneasy. so today i drink.

more than i should, i admit it.

beacon hills shitty life or death threats have surrounded me for years, being helpful was all i knew. i had no idea what to do, where to go, and watching as my friends so eagerly made plans to leave was unnerving. who was i if not stiles, scott's best friend?

thinking like that could keep me awake at night more than any monster.

so today i drink.

and i watch as people my age have fun, no idea of all the danger there is around, possibly not feeling the weight i felt deep in my soul. i observe many of them before one catches my eyes. girl my age, smile bright. happy. carefree.

the eyes though. heavy. dark. preoccupied. she did something intriguing whenever she went back to the bar, shot of tequila was her only choice, her smile would vanish for a few seconds, take a deep breath and shoot down, shaking her head quickly before going back to her friends. just then, when she was close to them, her smile would appear again.

she seemed lonely, like me today. but she was a better actress than i was, or i just didn't have the company to force myself to act like she did. i couldn't keep my eyes off of her though, some sort of magnetic energy that glued my eyes to her.

maybe she was just beautiful and i was drinking too much. i wanted to talk to her, ask her about the fake smiles, the deep sighs, the tequila, but i didn't want her to meet me like this, and watching her, weirdly, was enough feel less alone.

she noticed the staring, it didn't creep her out apparently. concerning, really, she should be more careful. instead she took something out of the tiniest bag i've ever seen (what does even fit inside those? definitely not a weapon if she ended up needing one) and turned to the bartender, still looking at me as she handed him a piece of paper.

odd. a bit hurtful.

i looked the other way then, but the bartender soon handed me a tequila shot with a paper under it.

her number. guess i wouldn't be so lonely after all.

[hexcorazon]

SPOILERS FOR RWBY VOL 9 BUT HOLY SHIT I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS

sorry for the janky screen recording twitter sucks and im impatient

OKAY SO LIKE. WOW????? this is so much and its SOOOOOOO GOOD like both ruby and jaune both have completely valid points !!

ruby is finally being allowed to snap a little, shes allowed to be pissed at her friends and sister who have all done a pretty piss poor job of supporting her, despite the fact that shes the youngest and has the most weighing on her. its great that show is lampshading (something i never expected to say) the fact that ruby is usually just looked to for the answers as well as telling blake to shut up when she tries to do the old "i know things look bad but" schtick that always shows up in the show. its FANTASTIC that ruby just leaves them behind even if we know itll be temporary; i truly hope this is a wakeup call for WBY who have been passive in rubys life for FAR TOO LONG despite all ruby has done for them

and its AMAZING that ruby *CALLED BLAKE AND YANG OUT* for prioritizing their relationship NOW! like i said on twitter, rubys reaction to the bees means her "what" in reaction to weiss' "finally" earlier in the vol wasnt confusion. it was disbelief that this is the priority for her sister and teammate after everything and considering where they are; not in a homophobic way (duh) but in a "we are literally in hell and salem is still OUT THERE with two relics and a maiden and we destroyed a fourth of the known world bc of a plan crumbled as we made it AND PENNY IS DEAD and we dont know what happened to our friends and all the civilians and NOW this is a priority?!" way, WHICH IS SO FANTASTIC. i just hope that the writers let this stand and dont have ruby walk back her feelings to protect WBY's because shes 100% RIGHT.

and jaune. oh jaune. i think its easy to forget that jaune really has sort of revolved his entire life around ruby for the past few years; hes really the only one thats never left rubys side, except unwillingly. so hes really not wrong when he says that it IS all about ruby, it always has been; yes, he chose to go with her but doing that has led him to do some really terrible things and of course when he's experienced such high levels of trauma (they all have) and then is abandoned to a madhouse of the ever after, hes gonna snap, AND HE ACKNOWLEDGES THAT HES NOT WELL. he knows hes struggling, he realizes that he shouldnt have yelled, but hes VALID FOR STRUGGLING IN THE FIRST PLACE. again, i hope its something that the writers let continue naturally and not just have it walked back or dismissed as a lot of male trauma is done in the show (looking at you ren i see you)

side note, how WILD is it that yang literally *moves in front of blake* as if to protect her from RUBY?! like thats so insane to me, and it just VALIDATES rubys annoyance and betrayal that yang is prioritizing blake and their feelings over ruby and their situation here. also, yang protecting blake???? i thought blake was the fiesty one? the one that had a shouting match with weiss for hours? the one that shoved past sun and shouted "hes mine" to get at roman? then again, ever since adams death she barely been able to fight at all so maybe i should just stop being surprised that blake is a wilting wallflower even around her own friends. and BOLD MOVES from yang to act like RUBY is the dangerous one when shes rightfully showing anger and frustration, like yang isnt literally the one known to have anger issues and lash out at ppl. i guess its only okay when yang is mad, ruby really is just having a hysterical woman moment i suppose

UGH this is just so nice and i hate to praise miles about anything but hes always voiced jaune very well and this is a real standout moment from both him and lindsey. good catharsis and felt really good for a least a tiny TINY bit of my critiques of team rwby to be acknowledged by ruby and jaune; hopefully this shit can continue and let them ALL learn and honestly i hope we get even more scenes of ruby and jaune laying into others/each other and bringing criticism that rwde has been saying for years to the screen

[junietuesday]

left seething after an english class discussion abt kate chopin’s “the awakening” in which almost the whole class was deriding the main character as a terrible unlikeable selfish person (<- she literally just decided to put herself first and pursue her own desires and not focus on her children in a society in which women were expected to hinge their whole identity on wifehood and motherhood), which is why they hated the book. girlies are NOT surviving the winter theyd take one look at tumblr babygirlifying murders and cannibals et cetera and faint dead away

like 1) arent we missing the point by harping on her being a “bad mother” ruining the book when she was so young and never had the option to refuse marriage and children anyway bc society literally had no other options for women 2) SO WHAT IF SHES A BAD MOTHER. a main character doesnt have to be likeable and relatable and adhere to the reader’s morals maybe theres a REASON why we’re Not supposed to like them??? maybe that was a specific choice meant to say something abt themes?? and maybe its just fine to write abt characters that dont share your exact conscience? plus the only person i respect in that class was like “YOURE ALL GETTING HUNG UP ON THAT ONE CHARACTER YOU NEED TO SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE. DONT YOU GUYS EVER READ JUST ABT A BUNCH OF CRAZY HORRIBLE PEOPLE DOING INSANE SHIT” and so true bestie

its like. one of my classmates said that the author should have just made the main character “a better person” so the feminist message would get across better, but like, how can we say that only moral and likeable people deserve equal rights, and the fact of her Not having rights is Why shes forced to act “unlikable”, we only have the liberty to judge Because we have liberty!!!! another one of my classmates added that maybe the author had her own vision of what she wanted to write, but maybe she shouldve thought abt her wider audience, like changed it to appeal to a broader range of people so they can also agree w the book, she shouldnt write abt just what she specifically thinks is right, and LIKE??? what is the POINT of writing if not sharing your own specific personal perspective???? when has fiction ever benefited from the creator sanitizing themselves and their vision and their message for the sake of appealing to a broader audience????????? this is how we get nothing but empty shallow dry dull consume-and-done media

[cassiopeia-mori]

please like. touch grass.

alright, start up the clown music!

why are you being so aggressive man? want people to take your side? dont be such a damn asshole to a kid lol

"First of all, a key thing is missing from these dms, and that’s her “kiss mate” literally told Kaz/Puffyy he can vent to her, and yet this is presented as him just going after her….when that’s not fucking true"

what're the quotes for? kissmate is a gender-neutral term for girlfriend or boyfriend lol you weirdo

secondly, just bc you allow someone to vent to u, does not mean u have to become their goddamn therapist. its clear here kaz was literally venting to this child VERY often, enough to harm their own mental health severely. an adult has access to PLENTY of care that shouldnt only come from a kid. he IS going after THEM, THEM, TAMMY USES THEY/THEM, by only venting TO THEM.

"Kaz (who I’m just going to keep referring him as) has brought up his mental illnesses before….but A) that hardly has happened and B) was only done when it was relevant to the conversation or situation ….he never suddenly went “Oh actually I’m autistic so you better be nice with me”"

his mental illnesses are very public and not an excuse. i am autistic and depressed, that does not mean i get to abuse people!! you are DANGEROUS if you think this is an excuse.

"Now for the accusations…out of context, yes this looks like he’s just randomly accusing them for random shit….but that’s the thing, that’s without context, which is not given here in the slightest….why? Because it dare paints Oka here in a bad light."

full context screenshots are in the reblogs, showing this was unprompted, and also, this is tammy. not oka. if ur gonna be an ass at least be an ass to the right guy. LMAO

"she refuses to let go of situations till it ends up going in her way…kinda like what she’s doing right now with this post….and she will keep on going, and going, and going, AND GOING, becoming actual harassment to the users that wronged her…and yes, I said users, as it’s not Kaz who gets this harassment….a good few other users on CS have had their own personal stories that dealt with Oka, so if you think she’s just an innocent little girl….you’re beyond wrong"

sorry that a 13 year old refuses to let go of an abuser traumatizing their partner and getting away with it??? like, she keeps bringing it up because of dickwads like you CONSTANTLY, and i mean CONSTANTLY, bringing this shit up, constantly harassing her, constantly bullying her and tammy, CHILDREN who were HURT AND ABUSED BY AN ADULT FUCKING MAN. please use your brain. she's acting in self defense. dont want her to be angry at you? shut the fuck up!!!!!! woah!!!!!!!!!! oka has done some things wrong, but let us not forget that she was 12-13 when this took place, and tammy was ELEVEN. when they met kaz. we blaming prepubescent kids for being abused? damn!!!

"And you know what’s the best part of that post Kaz made being taken out of context? THE GOD FOR SAKEN CONTEXT IS WITHIN THE POST! But nooooooo, let’s ignore the fact she constantly harassed him and refuses to leave situations alone"

lets also ignore the fact that kaz repeatedly told TAMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!! that he was gonna khs. a 17 year old threatening suicide to a 12 year old for daring to help him, hoo boy, wow, they're such a terrible person!! i hate this child so much!!!!

"Oh….and that sexualizing minors thing? The so called “minors”……ARE FUCKING ADULTS

KAZ IS A DIE HARD FAN OF THE GAME THE CHARACTERS ARE FROM SO HE’D KNOW WHO IS AND ISN’T AN ADULT, AND THE TWO IN THE COMIC….ARE….ADULTS!"

they're highschoolers in canon and even if he ages them up they still use their base under 18 sprites

"KAZ EVEN FUCKING TRIED TO EXPLAIN THIS TO OKA, BUT THIS IS CLEAR EVIDENCE THAT SHE DIDN’T LISTEN (or she did, but chose to ignore that EXTREMELY KEY DETAIL)"

aging up is also not an excuse for sexualization! you can age up for like, aus that need them to be adults, but aging them up to make them have implied sex, while not illegal, is weird as hell! and she is very valid in thinking this!

"And also, ironic she’s saying the site owner isn’t taking accountability for their actions…..when she herself never did, the most she gave were pitty sorries, even though she did so much damage to so many people…especially the one she’s trying to frame here"

oh so kaz's sorries are all SO GENUINE, but hers arent? okay thought police. kaz traumatized kids, oka got mad at a couple of people for excusing it. woah, are you so TRAUMATIZED because some girl you hardly know is DEFENDING HERSELF??? grow up.

"If you guys honest to God believe all of this shit she’s making up…then idk what to say"

again, this is tammy! literally learn to read <3

these are proven screenshots dawg learn to read x2

"@puff-yy I wish that she will learn to actually cut it out and stop dragging this shit out even longer"

kaz, maybe you should stop threatening suicide constantly on main and calling oka and tammy bitches, narcs, several other things, and maybe i'll say youre not dragging it out, butcha are!!! and so are you, random velvet guy!

"and Oka, you better learn to stop trying to make things go your way, because that’s all you ever do anymore…things are never going to go your way all the time, and you need to live with that, and live with the fact that you can be in the wrong and live with never bringing shit up from the past for no good reason, keep your thoughts to yourself…and you wouldn’t have been in this very situation…"

waa waa!!! this child who was abused and the abuser got away PUNISHMENT FREE until THREE HOURS AGO is upset they were TRAUMATIZED AND ABUSED by AN ADULT MAN!!!!

things didnt go her way. a horrible person went unpunished until TODAY, people like you are constantly and disgustingly bullying, harassing, and overall being TERRIBLE people to her

and KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF???? do you WANT kaz to abuse more children? do you LOVE when children are abused? god, you're depraved????

also quit being the fucking joker dude you sound like kaz on an alt.

tl;dr learn to read, take a step back, touch grass, and stop bullying two children who were abused

Hello Everyone.

You might know a user going by the username @puff-yy and might know them personally.

Today I am going to call out both him and @syrupyy

As you know, Kaz is someone with mental illnesses, depression, autism. Maybe more but I personally do not know, he has used these mental illnesses as a scapegoat before.

He mentally abused my kissmate, guilttripped them, and then tossed them to the side once they saw through his bullshit.

For context: On Cs: (Comic studio) I sexted a man named Jay. At that time I was twelve and he was 14, he mentioned that he felt like he could talk to me about anything and that I was hot, so I talked to him about explicit topics, eventually leading him to ask me to sext him (He had a girlfriend at that time btw)

He was defending this man and yada-yada-yada things led to another. Now this man (Kaz) is SEVENTEEN.

He was accusing me and my kissmate (Both thirteen) of being the cause of one of his suicide attempts, villainiziers, and more.

I can TELL you. None of us tried to make him hang himself, we would never do this.

He has done this with me also, and also has twisted others users words.

Voynich (Not disclosing their user) has spoken out (Like a true hero amen amen.) and told him that the reason of his suicide attempts would probably be

Topic 2: Sexualizing minors.

I don't know alot of danganronpa 2 lore, but I am aware that Nagito and Kazuichi are minors. He made this comic,

He then used the excuse of the avatars being a minor but the real life people are not, which is gross???

Now moving on.

You all know what comic studio is, yes?

The comic making website, well it's not all good as you think.

The moderation team is mostly made up of minors, long story short. Moderation is eh, my friends got banned for making a mod mad (They threw themselves into the crossfire)

And also, Syrupyy is terribly biased.

When given suggestions (By my kissmate) he basically throws them to the side and disregards them, he keeps going on and on about how cs is bad for my mental health but does not take action for anything.

He unbanned Jay because he apologized, I guess.

He is a terrible siteowner/mod by experience.

@Puff-yy if you see this. I did warn you, your downfall was going to come, and you wouldn't get away with what you did.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. it's just wild to me how LO fans (and even LO itself) claim to be about feminism and empowerment and calling out misogyny when it also loves to be misogynistic towards Minthe, Thetis, Leto, Aphrodite, etc like?? Even if you don't like the woman personally, calling her a bitch/slut/whore and saying she should be abused/assaulted/killed/tortured in very female-specific ways is also misogynistic?? Like do they think it only counts as if it's towards Persephone and Hera and them alone??

2. That anon mentioned wanting Hera to actually like someone in the story and I am once again pissed at what Rachel did the Thetis because Hera and Thetis have a genuinely good relationship in the myths when it’s brought up. (Also Thetis literally raised Hephaestus but I know that won’t be mentioned here because that would paint her in a good light and Rachel hates mothers). I just… I’ll never understand why Rachel chose the one character from Greek myth who is notable for not sleeping with Zeus and choosing to make her Zeus’ mistress as though Zeus doesn’t have like a hundred other lovers she could’ve chosen. I pray she doesn’t touch of the myth of Achilles conception because I know it gonna be done badly with terrible implications and the last thing we need is the message that Thetis “deserved” to be forced into a marriage (and all that comes with it) because she’s a bitch 

3. I think the reason Eris is sometimes considered Zeus and Hera’s kid is because she seems to get conflated with Enyo a lot (even in like Ancient Greek texts she’s sometimes conflated with her so it isn’t necessarily a new thing) who was a daughter of Zeus and Hera (and sometime Ares’ wife). Still, Eris being Nyx’s daughter seems to be the much more agreed upon version and would’ve just been better overall. Also like I get how Sleeping Beauty kind of has a connection to the Apple of Discord myth but just making Eris basically Maleficent was really dumb

4. I love LO fans because they'd rather die than take an L on anything. They wiil twist bad character design and art as "well it's supposed to be ugly! That's her style!" and say it was always supposed to be badly written and even nonsensical and that's the appeal. I'd find it commendable if it wasn't so removed from reality. Like is it a win if it's "supposed" to be bad??

5. I legit just saw a LO stan claim HADES (the video game) stole from LO because their Ares also has a streak of color across his face and red eyes like LO Ares does .... that game was in development for well over a year before LO was even on Canvas. Do they think Encanto stole from LO too because Isabela can create flowers or The Simpsons stole LO Hera's coloring?

6. Ok so I'm a huge Wonder woman fan, and after reading her latest origin comic that goes into the creation of her Homeland, they show the goddesses being tired of men and my goodness! The designs for the goddesses are all so diverse and beautiful and different! Like a baffoon I looked over lore Olympus designs and I felt so robbed! Their designs are so boring and it sucks that Eris is the latest fashion criminal. If I could re-design her, I'd still have her wear black (even though she's Zeus and Hera child in this?) But I would singe her dress a bit. Maybe random blood spatter... something that **looks** chaotic. 

7. ok this has been bugging me. so its basically confirmed in LO pomegranates kill your fertility, right? but we also see in the underworld pom soda is like, a thing they just drink, so is hades just casually drinking soda that kills his little hades swimmers? wouldnt just off that shouldnt persephone also have no fertility powers either bc she also drank it? someone make it makes sense (I know it's more her making stuff up as she goes again but omg the world-building in this make no sense)

8. I think my fav part about that old ask of rachel's asking about persephone's "hobbies" is not only are they super generic and not even seen in comic, but also none of them relate to her being a death or spring goddess? like really, she doesn't like gardening at the very least? what if she was really into horror or murder mystery media? why does it seem rachel is willing to make everyone else more fleshed out, but the lead character has to be as flat as possible? easier to self insert on perhaps?

9. There are literally millions of colors to pick from on a color wheel and Rachel is like better idea, I only use like 7 for all my settings and especially my ever expanding cast of characters. No I will not make any of them look different, you just have to guess which doe-eyed woman with an hourglass figure it is, who care if they're all the same shade of yellow and pink, not my problem! Like girl really, how lazy are you?

10. why are you guys saying the actual punishment will happen and years will pass. rachel is literally allergic to any sort of time progression. it'll be a month separated at most but itll more likely be a week, dare i say even two. persephone will easily be a mom of two hades clones by 21 at this rate., be realistic here guys.

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

chloe in my adrininogami roommates au

under the cut bc its a little long (1500 words of notes about chloe in this au)

ADRININOGAMI ROOMATES AU RECAP: its not really an au its just a timejump, Adrien Nino and Kagami are all like 18-19 and roommates, hawkmoth is still out there and lb and cn still dont know each others’ identities, Nino and Kagami know each others’ secret identities but don’t know Adrien’s and he doesn’t know theirs, Nino is at university while Adrien and Kagami are just taking a gap year and working minimum wage jobs and honestly they are all thriving and bffs

Chloe is a music major

At the same university as Nino

i have very little knowledge of the universities of Paris so this is going to be partially based on the American system, im sorry but youre going to have to suspend your disbelief real quick

so the university has a rule where first year students have to live on campus in the dorms

Nino escaped this rule because he is a goshdarn music nerd and quest for knowlege cannot be stopped

There wasn’t even an AP Music Theory class at his high school when he started there but he was like “whats up guys i have self-confidence now and i think it would be pretty nifty if we had this class” and then talked to teachers and convinced a bunch of his friends to sign up for it so now its a class

And thats the only AP Music class and he still wanted to learn,,, so he just,,, started taking online college courses,,, in music theory,,, for fun,,,, the absolute nerd <3

he will ramble excitedly about music history to anyone who will listen and you cant even be upset bc he is so energetic about this

All of this is to say that, by the time he graduated high school, he had already completed a bunch of college classes, so he got to enter university as a sophomore, which is how he is living off campus with adrien and kagami

Chloe, however, is a freshman, so shes gotta live on campus in the freshman dorms and have a roommate

her roommate, by the way, is Juleka

Chloe has calmed down significantly by this time and sucks a lot less. She and Juleka are not friends by any account, but basically, when they were signing up for roommates, they were both like “whelp this is better than rooming with a total stranger, i wont talk to you or bother you if you dont talk to me”

chloe and juleka have not actually spoken to each other since school started,, they pretty much stay out of the dorm room unless they are sleeping and then they stay on their side of the room and do not make eye contact and dont touch each others stuff

and chloe is totally fine with this

just kidding, hahaha, she is sad and lonely and wants to make friends but is terrible at it,,, her models for friendship include Adrien who she knows she messed up with completely and the best thing she can do now for their relationship is avoid him so she doesnt mess it up more,, and Sabrina, who is also refusing to speak to her now and basically taught chloe that the way to do friendship is to like? do their homework or something??

(juleka is vibing and living her best life btw, shes just also an introvert and only goes to the dorm when she is tired and needs to refresh and also chloe is the one acting like they shouldnt talk)

SO,,, chloe is a music major bc she thinks its pretty nifty and fun and also because she is trying to avoid anything to do with her parents,,, she has reached the point where like “be a dissapointment to my parents” is like,, her life goal,,, which is kinda a “good for her” situation and kinda a “holy heck plz get her some therapy situation”

wow we’ve got a bunch of backstory but we are finally to the point of this post

Chloe has several classes with Nino and she keeps accidentally flocking to him because she already knows him from high school and he has such good vibes

Nino is kind of just trying to avoid her,, he doesnt HATE her,, but,, it is chloe,, yknow

but then they get paired up for a group project and the group meets at nino’s apartment, and adrien is not in the building whenever chloe is there, on purpose,, they will be friends again eventually but their friendship is taking a little bit of a break and adrien is still learning how to have boundaries so he’s just doing what’s best for his mental health

chloe is totally fine with this and doesnt miss him at all

just kidding she is lying

BUT

you know who IS just chilling in the apartment while chloe is there

kagami

who is now like 19 and having some actual self confidence and happiness and who is chilling in her apartment with nino, one of her best friends

and chloe gets through the first group meetup at nino’s house and doesn’t spent any time just staring at kagami who’s chilling reading books in the corner (yes she does)

chloe is actually trying her hardest to be nice to the group members and make friends and prove that she can be a good person and a hard worker but she has very little social skills or work ethics skills and is having complicated emotions about adrien and hasnt even realized it yet but she is falling HARD for kagami,

all that is to say that chloe is a little bit distracted from the group project

but anyway they meet up again and this time chloe has done a ton of research and prep beforehand bc she doesnt want 2 be caught offguard made to look like a fool again and everyone is like what the heck, since when does she study things?

and anyway the project goes pretty great

but then

chloe has a goshdarn crying breakdown

because she is experiencing too many emotions all at once

the combination of just,,, university coursework is stressful and living without servants for the very first time in her life and parental issues and not having friends and also literally everything is just aaaa

so she starts crying in her dorm while doing homework while juleka is there but she literally forgets that juleka is there bc juleka is kind of a cryptid

and juleka just kinda stares at her for a minute and then is like “u good”

and chloe tries to pretend shes not startled and is like “haha yeah its fine”

and juleka is like “have u considered getting a tutor”

and chloe, who is stupid, is like “hmm i should ask nino to tutor me but only at his place and only when kagami is home and i should make sure that i look super cute and i need to study beforehand so that i look cool and smart in front of kagami,, i mean,, for no reason at all i just think this is a good idea”

she talks to nino and nino is like “ok i guess i can help tutor you but u have to actually make an effort and also stick to a schedule so youre not there when adriens there bc we are respecting his boundaries and also you need to-”

and chloe is like “great perfect done”

and then she actually does everything nino says

so basically

she ends up passing all of her classes and making friends

literally just because she is too stupid to actually try to talk to kagami

they literally do not have any conversations other than like “hey, whats up?” “nothing much lol” for like,,, an entire year

also chloe does not admit to herself that she has a crush on kagami for that entire time either

meanwhile adrien and nino and kagami are all a little confused bc chloe keeps flirting at nino??? and adrien is like “im pretty sure she likes girls but idk???” and nino keeps being like “hey chloe what’s up, i just got back from hanging out with my amazing girlfriend alya who i am very in love with,, and who is my girlfriend,, who i am dating”

and chloe has literally no idea why he is doing this but continues to flirt at him and subconciously hope that kagami will catch some of her flirting vibes and falls in love with her

so basically

they are all stupid

BUT Chloe and Nino do become actual friends and chloe actually respects him for the amazing wonderful smart talented kind person that he is and he helps her make some new friends and they get to the point where they are a super great study group and she’ll listen to all his homework assignments and proofread some of them when its like finals cramming time and they are supporting each other and their friendship is good

[9dollarmaxxing]

like man i really fucking hate this guy, but every single one of my friends are friends with them so i just have to be chill until i get out of high school or like die or something. like they r in our gc and stuff and i dont wanna leave it bc thats how i get updates that have to do with the group and stuff but oh my god i really hate being around this one person and i know i shouldnt keep myself around people that.make me upset but i cant seperate.myself from this person without separating myself from my whole friend group . and lkke theyve definitely done some.pretty fucked up shit that still upsets and affects me today but i have to pretend like im all chill with it and like i have to forgive them even though i DONT i dDONT forgive them bc what they did was fucking terrible and i dont think ill ever be able to actually forgive them and OJ MY GOD ITS JUST FUCKING TORTURE BEING AROUND THEM its fucking TORTURE I HAT ETHEM I HATE THEM SO MUCH I WANNA FCUKING RIP OUT MY HAIR I HAVE TO SEE THEM EVERYDAY OH MY GOD

if hypothetically my entire irl friend group is friends with this one person i dont really feel comfortable around for multiple reasons but i cant avoid them bc said entire irl friend group is friends with them so im jst stuck hanging out with them and pretending like I'm really chill with them even though im REALLY not, what am i supposed to do??? like literally how am i supposed to come up with an outcome where everyone's fine and dandy in the end like its either keep being friends with this person i really dont like for like the rest of high school at least or make my entire friend group angry at me or upset with me

[companionship]

okay one big post to get the finale out of my system! it's been lovely reading all of your analyses and reactions, and looking at all your amazing gifs and edits :')

fair warning: this is going to be so stinking long omfg

the things i enjoyed:

vincenzo remaining an anti-hero through and through, especially the fact that he didn't hold back at all when it came to myunghee and hanseok's death. he gave them a taste of their own medicine and then some forreal, their deaths were brutal but oddly satisfying, and i'm saying this as someone who usually hates violence/gore. throughout the show, they've always hinted at what he was Truly Capable Of and boy did we get to see it

vincenzo fumbling in hanseok's house and not being his usual self – a lot of people thought it was ooc, which i understand! i felt like that was the Point, to show that for once, he's not the invincible mafia consigliere that everyone thinks he is. what he did to the man who killed his mother and the army of security guards was a reaction, but this is the first time he's flustered, caught at a disadvantage, and faced with the very real possibility that he might lose somebody incredibly important to him. idk it made him more human to me

vincenzo literally not hesitating for even 0.1 seconds to fold his entire body around hers when he thought hanseok was going to shoot again – yeah that whole bit made my heart clench i feel like a crazy person i won't get over it

the chayenzo hospital scene... my god it was so tender my heart broke. the laugh they both shared, out of sheer relief that she's okay. the little joke about paying for the private room. the way not much was being said, but everything was being said at once. the way they looked at each other, as if it wouldnt ever be enough :( the quiet acceptance that this is their last night together, and that he's going to have to kill a bunch of people after this, but for now they have this. for however brief.

chayoung being chayoung – her big ass personality at the courtroom at the end after winning ms oh's case. her hopping around in those heels, looking elegant and sleek, mocking the hell out of rich conglomorates. she's in her element again and it made me so, so happy to see. i absolutely adore her, she's everything really. after all that loss and the whole ordeal, i'm glad she's able to return to what she does best: putting capitalists back in their place

mr lee being Very Much Not Dead – idk how i wouldve been able to handle it after witnessing hanseo's death like im glad he got the chance to be a dad

the kiss – my god....

the things i didn't like:

hanseo's death – lmao is it even a surprise... say what you will about his death being foreshadowed, but i really just hated hated it. i hate that hanseok won this one. i hate that hanseo worked so hard to redeem himself, only to lose it all. i hate that he was given a taste of what a real family was like, and then having it taken away so cruelly. even though i said above that i didn't mind that vincenzo was ooc at the mansion, i was still screaming at the screen because there were plenty of opportunities for the situation to be reversed. i don't necessarily blame vincenzo for hanseo's death, but i do wish that they had a funeral scene for him. i wish they acknowledged his sacrifice, and how pivotal he was in turning the tables. if not for hanseo, vincenzo really couldn't have pulled any of this off, from the interpol tipoff to the tracking device in the watch. idc idc hanseo is in malta rn, enjoying the sun and the beach, going to therapy, and teaching the local kids how to play hockey even though there's no ice :(

chayoung being bedridden the whole finale – like... NAH lmao this aint it chief... if things went my way, she wouldve gotten out of the hospital depite her injury and dealt with myunghee before handing her off to vincenzo. i loved their animosity for each other, and i wanted chayoung to be the one at myunghee's apartment waiting for her, rubbing it into her face. i wanted chayoung to verbally finish myunghee with that sharp ass tongue of hers and really dump a load of salt on her wounds. then vincenzo could do whatever the hell he wanted. you could argue that the show is called Vincenzo but i really dont care lmao it started with chayoung avenging her dad and she should've been able to strike the final blow. also what was her big second party? are we really just going to ignore her capacity for evil? after all that moral work done, after that time she spent coming to terms with using evil to combat evil, we're just going to... keep her bedridden? park jaebum u will pay for this

vincenzo losing his family – besides hanseo's death, i think this was what i hated the most from the ending. the start of the show showed us vincenzo's departure from the mafia with the very clear intention of Not Returning. the capo died, his loyalties lie with no one, paolo can suck it. throughout the show, we see him repeat over and over that he wants to get the gold and skip off to malta to enjoy a peaceful life there, while reflecting/repenting for the things he's done. vincenzo was gearing up for a lifetime of solitude. the whole point of the show was for him to find a real family and have a real chance at happiness. park jaebum really said FUCK THAT! we're gonna have him ditch the family that he built from scratch with the love of his life and then make him return to the family that tried to kill him AND make him the capo... pjb said we're gonna separate vincenzo from the family that accepts his past and sees it as a strength and not a weakness. the family that was formed out of solidarity, the family that he fought for and fought alongside with blood, sweat and tears. not to mention the goddaughter of his? sorry i would laugh if it didn't actually rile me up so bad

vincenzo not being able to come back to korea – i've said this in another post of mine, but given that he is The Vincenzo Cassano with all those resources at his disposal (guillotine file, mr ahn/mr cho/the chief etc.), the fact that he isnt even able to stay in korea for 30 fuckin minutes after finishing hanseok was ridiculous. the whole police chase was dumb as hell considering that the show has managed to stop politicians and mf presidential candidates from going after him like ? huh LMAO park jaebum had an on-demand pigeon army in this show and Yet he can't stop like 10 suddenly-righteous policemen. another big ass HUH

chayenzo (here we go...):

NOPE! i've reflected on the ending and decided that i'm going to be petty and salty for a while more before coming to terms with it

i can rationalise and try to be positive and tell myself that their love is enduring can transcend space and time and that in due time, they will find their way back to each other, and i have no doubt that they will because they're one soul in two bodies. it's quite literally canon that they're soulmates.

but let me wallow for a second

here we have two people who have done questionable and terrible things in their past coming together, growing together, grieving together, fighting together... you get the gist of it. you have two people who have found a home in each other. two people who, for all intents and purposes, were about to live in a whole lot of bitterness and solitude if not for each other and the life they built together (chayoung didn't have friends like that, and her family is gone too). to separate them like that at the very end is cruel. i know chayoung and vincenzo are mature and incredible and will be able to function without the other next to them. i know that they will still excel as lawyers and will defeat evil with their underhand methods the way they do so well but my god are they going to feel the absence and miss each other

my point is that they shouldn't have to. from what i could tell, they can't even communicate on a regular basis bc he'll be tracked and whatnot, hence the postcards. a postcard every month is a poor substitute for all those nights they stayed up drinking makgeolli and celebrating their wins. its a shitty replacement for coffee dates and fist bumps and all the moments in between. after everything they've been through, after literally fighting to death for their family, they don't deserve this. they don't deserve to meet up once a year for a couple of hours. they don't deserve pockets of time in malta or korea, their life in a perpetual countdown to when they're going to see each other next

they both deserve love and some semblance of peace (finally finally). they both deserve to have someone to come home to after a hard day of work, because doing what they do cannot be easy. they both deserve a family, deserve to have someone next to them that accepts their past and would embrace their future. they both deserve a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. i know they will still be It for each other despite the distance, i just wish the distance didn't even exist in the first place bc its stupid and cruel and their love shouldnt have to be proven or tested with time and space. let them stay together. let them grow together. let them be.

side note: song joongki and jeon yeobeen need another project together idc take it up with god

tl;dr: park jaebum u will be paying for my therapy bills

[blookmallow]

hi uhh this video about Anxiety Is Good Actually keeps being on my dash and its making me mad so this is me breaking it down 

if this kind of thinking helps you im not trying to destroy your coping methods but it just feels so far removed from what the actual experience of anxiety is 

i understand the value in trying to redirect negative self-thoughts into positive ones ( “i worry about people all the time” --> “i care deeply about people i love”) but there’s ways to do that without just, denying there’s anything wrong?? this just feels like the. whole issue with romanticizing mental illness/not moving toward positive recovery because I Dont Need To Change Myself when its actively harming you (not to mention “anxiety is good and helpful” is uh, not a great thing to say to someone with anxiety, bc then you get more anxiety spirals of ‘wait if this is how anxiety is for other people then whats wrong with me, i must be doing something wrong. i shouldnt need help and be having breakdowns bc apparently its easy and even beneficial to other people’ i dont need to be anxious about how im doing anxiety wrong lmfao) 

- where is this “anxiety means you’re intelligent” claim coming from. says Who. hyperanalyzing and overthinking constantly doesn’t make you Smarter, anxiety brain isn’t “im carefully and logically considering all the possibilities” it’s your brain trapping itself in a hell spiral of “what if what if what if” to the point where it becomes increasingly difficult to come to any conclusion at all. it’s not “considering all possible outcomes rationally” it’s “im spending 30 minutes worrying about the least likely thing to happen in a way that is not constructive and i need to recognize that and get myself back on track with whats actually relevant” 

my critical thinking is actively impaired by my anxiety. i sometimes have to go take a nap for 3 hours to reset my brain before i can even approach a problem because my brain is just going “no no no no no too big too scary i cant i cant i cant i cant i cant” too loudly for me to even consider any options at all. “anxiety can make you better at decision making!” is the biggest fucking bullshit claim i have ever seen. anxiety PREVENTS me from decision making. it makes decision making a huge ridiculous ordeal when it really doesn’t need to be. i have to go through a whole process of quieting my anxiety down and working around it in order to do anything at all. its like if you had an alarm system for your house but it went off just constantly all the time for no reason and you have to keep getting up to turn it off. eventually you’re going to have a hard time being able to identify when it’s actually going off because someone’s breaking into your house and when it’s just Doing That Thing Again and you keep losing track of what you were doing because you keep getting interrupted by having to turn that stupid alarm off again

anxiety isn’t “constantly looking for how to solve things” its “constantly thinking of new problems that could exist” in a way that is not beneficial. ill be sitting here feeling sick and completely disoriented for an hour because What If The Customer Service Guy On The Phone Thought I Was Stupid. Maybe I Am Stupid. Maybe I Was Accidentally Rude In Some Way I Never Considered And He’s Going “Wow What A Stupid Rude Bitch That Was” for literally no reason. sure that also means “i have empathy for other people and i want to be polite and not make someone else’s life difficult” but im mostly just thinking about How Stupid I Am, You Stupid Fucking Idiot which is not helpful

like if i recognize “this is my anxiety talking” and just. silenzio bruno. ignore that, put that away, move on, focus. that’s a much more healthy way to cope than indulging it on another spiral of “how is this Actually My Little Anxiety Buddy Trying To Help Me” trying to find some meaning and purpose in it isn’t going to help. anxiety is irrational. that’s what it Is. it’s okay and actually healthy to realize that. my best coping skill is to just say “okay, that was a brain glitch. that wasn’t my fault. im not stupid, my brain just has bad wiring. ignore that. keep going” 

- “we can think of it as our anxiety giving us an extra energy boost to get things done” fucking WHAT?? i cant get anything done because of my anxiety. i will bury myself in 19 blankets and stare at tumblr for 5 hours because my brain Won’t Start and i feel sick and worried and shaky for literally no reason instead of like, getting up and cleaning my room. and then i spend another hour thinking about how useless i am for not cleaning my room. i can only get things done at all bc i have medication that makes my anxiety quieter 

- they have this cute little image of “anxiety” telling you to tell the store person you need more time to decide as if it’s there shouting solutions and advice when really it’s more like “GO GO GO GO YOU HAVE TO ANSWER NOW YOU’RE TAKING TOO LONG YOU’RE HOLDING UP THE LINE YOU’RE BEING THAT GUY HURRY HURRY HURRY HURRY IF YOU DON’T DECIDE SOMETHING IN 3 SECONDS EVERYONE IN THE STORE WILL HATE YOU AND YOU WILL DIE” its not constructive, it’s not a helpful little advice friend, it’s just random loud static you have to work around constantly. of course it’s okay to need a second to process because of your anxiety but that’s not what anxiety Does. i cant ask for a second to process because my anxiety is so loud i cant think and it has convinced me if i dont act normal Right The Fuck Now everyone will hate me forever. i guess a more effective illustration would be like, the Anxiety entity going “AAAAAAA” and instead of you thinking “im stupid and terrible because i cant control that thing” you go “hang on a second, i need a minute” and you step away to calm it down. instead of. the anxiety just offering you a solution. for itself. i dont understand this video 

like. what the fuck are you talking about. “you can do it!! you got this!” is literally the exact fucking polar opposite of what anxiety brain is like

[g00by3]

i am genuinely such a bad person. down to my absolute core, i am absolutely awful. im so toxic and manipulative and always searching for attention. i need other ppls validation to feel good abt myself, otherwise i feel like nothing but a fraud. thats why i overshare so much, i need ppl to validate that what i went thru was bad otherwise what happened was nothing. im convinced im lying abt everything, i dont know whats real or not anymore. i could just be typing this into the void and just be tricking myself into thinking ppl care. any one of my countless attempts couldve worked, n i wouldnt necessarily know. anything i did before my death didnt matter, and whatever im doing now after my death doesnt matter either. i hold no meaning in life at this point. im just good to be hurt and hurt others. i do my best not to turn into any of the abusers, but deep down ik im just as rotten as them. i say things w/o thinking and w no second thought, i hurt others. i tell myself what im doing is bad n do everything in my power to change but it never lasts.

i keep filling my life w relationships (platonic, romantic/sexual, stronger familial bonds) and self-harm thru any number of means just to not feel as empty. but i still always feel empty. i make pathetic attempts at relapses and addictions and its the only time i feel alright abt myself. the only time i dont hate myself is when im hurting myself. i force myself into bad situations bc ik its what would make someone else happy, and act so impulsively. im constantly on the brink of cutting off all relationships and isolating myself from ppl i consider loved ones. ik it would be better for everyone but then who would give me that validation i so terribly need? i mute messages and chats bc i know ill snap at ppl one of these times. im constantly getting annoyed and irritated at other ppl showing me that they care for me or checking on me or claiming to love me. i dont know if any of these ppl mean anything to me honestly. i dont know if im actually capable of caring for another person and loving them unconditionally. someone says one thing that i cant process healthily, and suddenly im on edge around them and feel like i cant trust them. everyone is lying to me. they cant possibly care for me, im too bad of a person.

i deserve to hurt. i deserve all the pain ive received, i deserve even more. i wish it could just be an endless cycle of abuse so that way i actually have a meaning and a purpose. im nothing but a sick child right now, but ppl just love to hurt sick children like me. i have no value to myself, but maybe if im able to please someone else i wont hate myself so much. just maybe. i dont know what its like to love myself. there are times ill love one or two things abt myself but in the end, theres more things i despise than like even the slightest. im nothing but bitter and broken, i shouldnt hurt ppl like i do but all ive known is that hurting makes ppl feel valuable. is that how i show my love?

i cant get myself to care when ik i should. im either way too empathetic or show no empathy at all. as soon as someone else is struggling, i have to do everything i can to help. otherwise, whats the point? if i cant help others, why do i exist? but once their venting gets too repetitive or they dont listen to anything i say, i snap. i say things i shouldnt say to a struggling person. then i go and vent abt the same exhausting things, day in and day out, and always expect them to help me. i struggle and blame it on everyone but myself. im a god, and can do no wrong. i cant get better as long as someone else i love is struggling. i cant possibly be the "okay" one, i dont know what thats like. i dont know what being "okay" is like. i have to be the worst one, have the worst struggles and receive the most sympathy. ik its bad but i cant change it, no matter how hard ive tried.

ive done everything i can to get help. ive tried everything and nothing works. the only time i felt "alright" was during the times i was being hurt bc at least then i was pleasuring someone, making someone feel good. theres no hope anymore, im done trying. why do i even bother? i might as well give in, do every bad thing, cut everyone off, ruin any relationships i have, and damage myself even further. in the end it doesnt matter. ill die tragically at a young age (assuming i havent already died) due to myself but at least then it will be over. beyond my death it doesnt matter. i give up. once ppl know abt the things ill be doing, theyll leave me too. then i have freedom to hurt. hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt. hurting is all ik n i might as well reclaim it and do everything to myself. then ill have all the power. ill be the powerful one, not any of them. ill be god.

whats wrong w me?

[darkicedragon]

aZure https://twitter.com/nywolforg/status/1403835321691918339 office workers Franken and Muzaka except Muzaka is a werewolf and he has a deadline XD darkicedragon oh god XDDD he wanders in, slams out a couple reports in an hr, and wanders out again everyone hates him 😂 no-one can get in contact with him aZure Franken really needs him to sign a paper and the bastard ain't answering his phone so he just barges in "I am done with your unprofessional attitu -" *cue spooked wolf like OAO* darkicedragon //couldnt answer phone bc paws too big// QwQ;;; '.....you cant sign this with a pawprint' darkicedragon 'am i supposed to just...wait until this.....affliction(???) is over?' //nod nod// 'the client needs the signature in 30 mins' 0w0;; .... >w> .... :V🖊️

aZure YESSS XDDD ahahahaha "No - you are not doodling all over the file. Here, practice the signature" cue Franken desperately trying to get Muzaka to do a good signature darkicedragon muzaka just like TT^TT 'i just need to do a line!! it doesnt need to be recogniseably my name!' ...ppl seeing muzaka napping all over the place, have no idea what he does, who he works for, or how he got his job. until they need the general manager's signature and get directed to him frankenstein really wants to kick his ass for being so useless aZure yessssssss XDDD Frankne wants to murder him with his own two hands granted, Muzaka somehow works his way outta any problem but him doing things last minute makes Frankne want to strangle him darkicedragon muzakas def the friendly manager, and does get the job done eventually or sometimes he does it fast! when hes procrastinating from something else (like running away from frankenstein's wrath) 'why are you even here if you dont enjoy it?' 'i got promoted a bajillion times! i just wanted to do the regular office stuff, not direct and manage ppl!' 'oh, poor you, how terrible' aZure 'boo-hoo. now take care of this paperwork' and Muzaka is like onq most ppl just learn to leave Muzaka alone but not Franken Franken's out for blood darkicedragon yeeeep XDD aZure Muzaka trying to sneak into the office, past Franken much sneaky, much |w= and Franken's suddenly at his back "Where's the project proposal?" "EEEK!" "You are working on that proposal or so help me," and pulls Muzaka by his ear into his office "NOOOOoooooo" darkicedragon frankenstein leaning his hands on muzakas desk to lecture him, right in his face. abt 'yes, you have a friendly atmosphere, but youre creating undue stress by being unavailable when youre needed and thats just as unhelpful as if you were breathing down everyones neck' 'but i dun wanna keep-' 'do. your. fucking job' onq 🏳️ aZure ppl learn that if the manager is not to be found, they go to Franken XD "I can't find the manager?" "ah, he's with Mr. Lee in his office. Apparently, he's grounded until he finishes the proposal" darkicedragon 😂 aZure cue Muzaka like TTnTT in Franken's office, working darkicedragon 'shouldnt you get promoted if youre supervisin' me?' 'maybe. i wouldnt accept it though' 'eh? why not?' 'i have no interest in managing groups of ppl. its not where my interests or strengths lie' '..........................' aZure XDDD Muzaka like OwQ 'but pls take the role?' "no. do ur job' darkicedragon gawd, the rumour mill. ppl think theyre fucking, while frankenstein is FUCK NO, bc no work relationships, and he doesnt want anything to do with that disaster 'buuuuut you spend so long alone together in your office' :smirk: 'he hunts and pecks to type!!! and gets distracted every five minutes' aZure it also gets worse, when Franken starts looking after him picking him up from his home and driving him to work (to ensure he gets on time) getting him coffee and lunch (to ensure the bastard doesn't leave and not come back) and gets his suit from the drycleaner ready for the meeting (TO ENSURE HE ACTUALY WEARS ONE) Muzaka wanting to run away from the meeting, but Franken's got a steel hold on his shoulder "and where you think you're going? ^-^ darkicedragon 'can i at least arrange you get a raise???' 'oh no, getting you to actually work is more than enough payment for me. its v satisfying' ^-^ 😱 doing all that is still less time consuming that waiting for muzaka to show up for signatures and chasing him up for reports like it was before frankenstein stepped in, pfft aZure ofc it's not one sided, bc Muzaka also looks after Franken, making sure he takes his breaks and has lunch with him or helps him with paperwork, bc surprisingly (although not so much so bc he did get his position somehow) he's actually quite capable and skilled at what he does and ofc uwu Muzaka arriving one day on time at the office, immediately sitting down to work, bc habit from working with Franken for quite a while working a bit before he realizes that Franken is missing he also went to work in Franken's office, not his own??? darkicedragon frankenstein's siiiiick >w> aZure him being like ಠ_ಠ??? popping his head out to ask where's Franken "ah, he's come down with a cold. He'll be on a medical leave for a few days." darkicedragon muzaka helping frankenstein to socialise and actually get to know his coworkers. muzaka knows them better than frankenstein does, pfft. 'oh, hey! hows the kid doing? still keepin' ya up at night?' [...] 'i...didnt know she had a kid' //nod nod// 'thats why shes been distracted lately, an' tired.' 'which is why you havent been chasing her up' 'yeah, exactly. deadline's a ways off anyway, so she doesnt need to stress abt that so much rn' aZure yesss and by getting to know them better, Franken can assign the work in a way that works for them, making them more productive darkicedragon yussss aZure also, work hijinks with werewolf Muzaka due to Reasons™️ Muzaka going PWOOOF 🐺 one day, during work hours, right in Franken's office and it's then ppl need Muzaka for stuff cue Franken stuffing Muzaka in a closet "Ah, the manager isn't here?" "He - he'll be out for a bit." "Strange, I didn't see him leave" Frankne like ^-^ his back against the doors of the closet that are so gonna pop open if he moves cue Muzaka being squished in the closet like QwQ darkicedragon maybe he transforms bc hes ALSO sick XD and he transforms for his recovery mode 'do you really think wouldnt know where he is? 'aha, true, true, let him know i want to speak to him!' o/ aZure the person leaving, Franken like ^-^ before he goes >8| opening the closet 'can you not do this when the office is full???" but Muzaka's like xAx and Franken realize he's not playing around also Muzaka is massive and when the ppl have left for the day cue Frankne struggling to drag wolf Muzaka from under his armpits to the car "Why are you - SO HEAVY?" darkicedragon XDDDD //whhiiiine <XAX> aZure oh my god Frankne stuffing Muzkaa's butt in the backseat but have you tried getting a big dog into the car when he's not cooperating? not easy darkicedragon '....................do you have your keys stuffed amongst all that fur' aZure he has to take him home XD even more dragging Muzaka up the stairs "I don't know whether I should call a doctor or the vet" darkicedragon 'hrrrrr' 'yes, helpful' did frankenstein remember to grab his clothes ...........if he didnt, ppl are gonna see that and be like :smirk: 'wild office "meeting", huh?' aZure and then Muzaka pops up the next day wearing Franken's clothes, and ofc the shirt is too tight and it's got a few buttons open uwu and ppl are like 'they fUCKIN' darkicedragon XDDDDD aZure "sooo, you're taking me being a werewolf quite well o3o Franken, prolly sleep deprived and on his 4th coffee this morning, "If you get this project done before the deadline, you could be the devil himself, and I wouldn't care" darkicedragon 'you get the job done. eventually. i dont need care abt anything else' =A= darkicedragon 'is that why you napped so much? bc you need energy for your....transformation?' '....no. 0w0;;; i just like to nap' =A= aZure Franken will wack him with a newspaper XD darkicedragon is muzaka a gremlin like - no, wait, frankenstein forgets to eat. muzaka eats, but he cycles through not caring whatever he eats, and cycling through where he wants to try all these new things. frankenstein isnt even sure where muzaka bought the lunch, but now its sitting in front of him (muzaka made it) aZure yessss it's bc of Muzaka that Franken eats more often bc Muzaka goes 'but it's lunnnccchh timeeee' =3= 'ah, you are right' and Muzaka kidnaps Franken to go eat lunch darkicedragon yessssssss! darkicedragon 'its faster to just go to the corner for food' 'yoouuuuu need more sun and walks! you barely got up from your desk!' 'while you seemed to be on a timer to get up' aZure — Today at 15:56 'you're just trying to ditch your work, aren't you?" "n-no, we're on lunch break!" darkicedragon 'no, we're no - oh. hm'

[choco-style]

lately I’ve found myself mind yelling “shut the fuck up” more than usual and I don’t know who to talk to because there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it, I just have to wait to go to school and feel better, which is crazy because the general opinion on school is “god I hate it I just wanna go home” and that’s what I used to think too when I was in my awful 5-8 grade class

and it’s not just real life people I want to shut up, I feel like I’m getting more defensive and my favourite creators are getting called all kinds of things by people who claim to have the higher moral ground (or whatever you call it), when they themselves wish terrible things upon people who have either done nothing wrong, or who have apologized for everything they did wrong. and it’s 99% on tumblr. now I understand why no one fucking likes this site.

and I’m back again in this state where “I wanna go home” doesn’t at all refer to the actual apartment, but to a mentally happy place. and it sounds edgy when your brain says I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home please shut the fuck up

this isn’t even that bad and it’s nothing serious and I don’t know how I feel about all this I just needed to let it out and tumblr is where I can write longass “diary entries” and very few people who I care about will read them, and if someone has a problem with them I don’t give a single shit about their feelings and I hope they get the help they need to not turn into a shitty person or worse.

ive also been kinda mean??like not quite but kinda??? i dont know i just feel like i peaked and now im just kinda there. but im not even in the neutral empty doorway kind of state, its like now im in the room but idk what i wanna do and i need to pee but theres no toilet and im just there. like how dreams feel sometimes,,,,, idk aaagh

during the first 5 days of the week i look forward to the weekend because that keeps me happy and good and nice but then the weekend is the worst part of every week and i look forward to going to school, and now i wont even have this escape because this is the last week were going to school this decade and i have to breathe the same air and hear the same sounds as my family and i dont want to, i wanna go to school and be distracted and plan out my evenings and mornings when im basically alone. or something. i dont know what im talking about. i just dont want winter break. i dont wanna talk to my family when theyre all together. whenever theres even two people from my family in the same room i feel like i want to cry and i end up wishing id made plans or something, anything just to be somewhere else. 

youtube videos arent working anymore. or they are, but not really. i can block out the sound partially but i can still hear other people. and i think its normal but also fucked up. “what is?” well thanks for asking, me in “ “s, having these people argue so much is common but fucked up, having to stop whatever ur doing just to check whether or not a family member is crying, only to find out theyre laughing, is fucked up but maybe common. wanting to be home alone is common and not fucked up i think. going into a mental crisis because youre in this eternal circle of being sad - amplifying it because ur an attention whore - realising ur an attention whore - instead of stopping, u amplify THIS to feel absolutely terrible except not really because its not real or is it - now ur making urself look like the victim of realising ur not the victim. jesus fucking christ u stop thinking about it and it happens again a while later. just shut the fuck up, me. shut the fuck up. make my brain shut the fuck up,  i would literally probably cry happy tears if someone could make me shut the fuck up forever. or maybe i wouldnt but right now i feel like im gonna cry thinking about it. or its just placebo. or not placebo, the negative one. or idk. maybe i was right the first time i dont know. and now my back hurts cuz im like a little bug or whatever im just writing like. reversed arched. i dont know how to explain it lmao. i dont wanna read this thiing ever again but i most likely will! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! be happy lol u knwo the meme thats like cmon work. idk what it was but the reference is in my brain and i feel like i could use it. and now i sound weird. well not weird im just going thru the thing i explained earlier in this thing. but i wont write abt it im just gonna not think about it bc that seems to work really well. felt the need to add ^^ as if im talking to someone or maybe making my thoughts talk to me rn like how i would talk to someone irl lmao.theyve actually been silent for a while so idk.

id title this “if im being honest” to like show im trying to get my rthoughts out with no real filtering but aaah idk. i dont wanna do it bc the title would be like. bigger and semibold and itd draw attention to  it. i want this to not be read by people but maybe someone will. i have like 2 or 3 people in mind who would maybe maybe maybe read this but i dont know. its really not anything so you shouldnt read it. maybe someone could skim this. is that how you say it. also there is some filtering of my thoughts because i dont wanna name anyone im not looking for trouble i just wanna talk into the void and feel better and maybe this is really it. i do feel kind of relaxed now. my uhhh wrists, yeah thats what theyre fcalled, they kinda hurt and my fingers dont hurt but like, the joints are very,,,accentuated? but not like visually they just. i can conciously feel them? and my throat and kinda eyes? thats bc of almost kinda crying but lol idk. and like ive always hated accentuated feelings and i read this thing on wikipedia about sensory overload and idk if its a normal thing that happens like when something stings or hurts or if its a symptom of something or i dont know but ive always kinda joked about it and its also related to tics. ticks? ticks. tics. and its not really what im feeling rn but its a thing that happens sometimes. kind of. but like when u walk up the stairs and u feel ur right leg has been doing/making more effort pushing u up than ur left leg and u try to balance out the effort and it can be hurtful i guess bc if something like an eye or arm hurts u try to balance out the pain and that can be bad dont do that but like i can do it bc i wont do it in bad scenarios. i went off track lololol sorry

this is kind of what my mind speeches and discourses look like so yeah i hope this goes unnoticed or someone notices it and i can just say nah dude im good trust me because i am i think and u should maybe probably trust me bc usually i have it better than everyone i talk to online or in real life so its fine if u trust me because its nothing to worry about really. ur precious and u desrrve more attention than whatever this thingy is. take care of yourself. the only thing ur allowed to think about this post if u read it (or not but like sure), according to my selfish brain, is that oh wow its cool that u tried mimicking (??) ur thoufhts and id be lioke yeah haha i dont even know whats wriitten in here anymroe im cool like that hahahhahahhhhhhhahha hehe hoho hihi you know. so dont feel anything else than indifference and maybe admiration. i wouldnt say the former if this were something i put thought into but it isnt so enjoy! honesty. kinda.

[jrbalufbfnzl]

I slept late yesterday n woke up at 9h30 bc my mom ws spamming my phone. I have to text wishes for my fam bc their granddad died and go to the pharmacy. Slept from 1 till almost 10 and didnt feel tired when i woke up. Ill try n b productive today im gna take my pills n walk the dogs. I also have to finish mty sisters drawing n listen to all her memos

I need to cut my hair i cannot stand the sensation

Thinking about having more tats n being anxious bout it for some reason

Ill try to be strong n turn away from food and hopefully as well ill be able to exercise but no food at ALL today sounds grear to me but no pills and no sleeping all day bc it ruins the mood

Didnt wake n bake but didnt meditate, im lazy to meditate thismorn. Been hanging on my phone for a lil more than an hour so ill just go out n do my stuff now

My dogs off her medication today i hope shell getbetter i cannot deal w the stress of her having a chronical serous disease.

I scratched my ears until they bled n couldnt hezr well yesterday

UPDATE : i managed to walk yhe first dog and fed both of em. Im waiting for my pills to kick to walk the second one. It was a struggle to get something non triggering to eat and im trying to wait as much as possible to eat. Days are fucking short anyways and ill xhabge my password and lockdown uvereats to not order some tonight maybe. Ill try and sleep early and stay strong and also get ready to see peeps and maybe feel a lil bit better but also i wanna stay alone. I cried a bit bc im ashamed to be so paralysed at 25 time is running fast and hezlth as well and the fall could be terrible idk. I felt anxious to walk both of the dogs at the same time or evenbto vring them to the parc or go to the pharmacy even tho its 5mins away n its kind of a nice walk. My stomach and intestine hurts tho. I hope ill manage to go to the pharmacy n exercise today n shave my hair n meditate and finish my sisters drzwing. Its not that much

UPDATE 2 : its 30 to 7 and i managed to cut my hair and walk the two dogs once. I feel zncious about walking them a second time but ill make it feed them then take them out.

My best friend made a post sayin that knowing otger people dezl w the same stuff as her is rezsuring so i ferl less guilty of "making it about me all the time" bc thats rly not what im trying to do and my bf told me i wzs incapable of listening so i guesd it fucked up my self apreciation.

Sometimes i feel like my bf is the only thing in his world and i also feel like its giod for him but at the same time i feel like im wrong znd im the one taking toi mych space. I have 0 sense of whats real and whats not and as soin as im thinkin ab smth that is not invalidating to me i kind of gaslight myself into thinking otherwise znd remarks my bf made repeatedly in the past arent helping. I have to finish my sistets drzwing walk the dogs n exercise. Today i felt anxious multiple times and wasnt really able to get out of bed. I didnt meditate first thing in the morning either whoch i shouldve. Im gonna try my psycholoist tomorrow to take another apt bc i missed the last one. I feel like a failure. Good thing is im not hubgry at all bc of aderall and stress so thats cool. Ill try ti go to the pharact tomorrow as well but even thibking about livin another dy and having stuff t do makes me rly anxious i feel incapable of having a routine.

Update 3 : did the drawing, hate it and i dont have my mind up to that. Esp sibce the dezdline is so close and i feel like my sisters work ethic is so abusive and self centered that i just dont have fuel to turn her idea into smth cooler and add detzils or a personal touch. I just dobt want to experiment w it and i hate doing it and it shows. I walked my first dog for the second time fed them both gave the last pill to my second dog abd im about to walk her out now. I feel shitty about my day.

Today my ideal me :

Wouldve woke up meditate exercise and took care of the dogs in a whistle withiut thinking to avoid building up unecessary anxiety and have the drawing done by thr end of the morning and went to the dog park and pharlacy afterwards anf make music.

If someone saw me from an outside perspective :

I think they would think that my depression is quite invalidating and that im just letting myself down completely

Today i did :

Nothing consistent but i feel like i did my best within my possivilities and i went above my lack of motivation to draw and rakr care of the dogs

I felt :

Down empty and dead anxious and tired.

I ate :

Two biscuits and a bubble tea

Tomorrow i'll :

Try to meditate and exercise and feed the dogs and get ready for what its worth and go out a little abd go to the pharmacy abd call my shrink and try to get sum weed even tho i shouldnt but the anciety is too much

Im grateful for :

Having the strenght to write stuff down znd maybe itll be the start of a routine

My shrink being so lame she accepted that i get surgery

The dogs remiding me that i rly shouldnt br like my parents and helping me reflec and remember on abuse and stuff

[vadre]

honestly me just word vomiting onto a textpost 

tw: sex, trauma, dubcon shit, booze, exes 

fuckin. as far as trauma that i just havent even fuckin touched yet sex is pretty much the only thing still left (i think? ya ever get so good at repressing ur emotions that u cant tell if youre actually ok w shit or not anymore, its goddamn terrifying bc its like walking on eggshells but with my own fucking brain) and like. THAT is what i zeroed in on when ex called 2 weeks ago, n like. distressed is the fuckin understatement of the century so ofc i drank myself into oblivion (and got a tattoo but i was actually planning on doing that anyway but then this shit happened and it went from wanting to get one to Needing It and i got it in a more painful spot which my artist warned me about and i had 2 refrain from sayin morbid shit like “thats ideal actually, my good dude”) BUT yeah uuhh friend and i ended up like. i cant say “accidentally fucking” bc thats not possible but i was fucking. blackout drunk and genuinely dont remember most of what happened (which is so fucking scary the more i think about it hahaha) and i woke up with Regret™ and friend seemed like. perfectly fine but he picked up on my awkwardness soon enough and things pretty immediately got real weird btwn us (which also sucked, bc like. i’d been spending most every weekend w him, we were gettin v close and it was at that point where we knew each other well in terms of “hey u wanna hear about the fucked up shit thats happened in my life??!?” but Not the close u can get w someone only after knowing them for a long ass time, which is. a frustrating place 2 be when u wanna know what the Fucc someone is thinking) but then we talked the whole thing over and basically like. so im a v affectionate drunk in that if im comfy w u i can get touchy and that kind of shit and hes a Fucking Straight Cishet Dude so ofc he was just. “aah ok so theyre coming onto me” (which is So Fucking Funny bc i dont “””come onto””” people to start but also like,, he was/is so firmly placed in strictly no-fucking friendship area its wild and i kinda wanna tell him this but ik i shouldnt) and then the shit ensued but from my perspective for like. the nearly 2 weeks we just Didnt Talk About It he just randomly decided to kiss me and my drunk reasoning is pretty much perpetually “oh ok this is happening then” and things ujst kinda,, kept happening even after i puked in his fuckin room which i did/do feel terrible about but then. the part that will never stop bothering me is that he fuckin. didnt stop afterwards? and i. it was way way way too close to like. w shitty ex the dynamic as far as sex went was essentially “i mean, i dont have an option in that i dont want any trouble, its just easier to do this and fucking get it over with” (actually that was pretty much our entire dynamic) and like. idk the feeling of not having an option (i remember verbally consenting, but that being said i also dont remember anything else so like. i was not in a good headspace and wouldve agreed to anything if im being honest with myself) struck way too close to home esp in that like. the thing that fucking drove me to blackout drinking (ive never rly done that before lmao) was my shitty fucking ex calling and forcing me to recall all the shitty fucking things she did, especially regarding fucking, and i dont wanna call it a repeat situation at all bc they truly are different scenarios but there really isnt a worse time where i couldve had fucking dubcon sex and like. the reaction friend had when i basically told him “hey so uuhhh i dont remember shit, i was not coming onto you, you fucking kept going after i puked” was him profusely apologizing and being generally self deprecating (honestly like. everything that happened is easily forgivable, but again the puking thing was kind of an indicator that i wasnt in any state to be consenting, which his drunk ass evidently didnt understand) but im still uncomfortable w the entire thing even if it is like. resolved? i guess? and he thinks things are perfectly fine back to normal which is honestly kinda even more frightening? like he doesnt know what to do, frankly i dont know what i want him to do, but i just hate that he was becoming a close friend and then. this. this is also a more immediate issue so i have yet another excuse to put off dealing w traumatic experiences relating to ex :)))

but yeah im screaming     

[drummingz]

1 through 200 BINCH TIME FOR PAYBACK

(( ask meme under cut !!! ))

200: My crush’s name is: dda;;a nNNy;y199: I was born in: the usa198: I am really: gay197: My cellphone company is: one that i hate196: My eye color is: hazel195: My shoe size is: 5 ½ apparently194: My ring size is: wat193: My height is: 5′1″192: I am allergic to: nothing191: My 1st car was: :)190: My 1st job was: :)189: Last book you read: waarrrrioorr  ca,,attss188: My bed is: decent . my mom got it w/out considering wat i thought was comfy so187: My pet: 4 dogs & 40 guinea pigs186: My best friend: ghsgg i cant decide i hav a lot of best friends 185: My favorite shampoo is: i184: Xbox or ps3: ps3183: Piggy banks are: functional but i only use them for cosmetics182: In my pockets: i dont have pockets atm181: On my calendar: i never mark my calender bc i always forget180: Marriage is: a possibility for the future179: Spongebob can: absorb water178: My mom: is an abusive sack of shit177: The last three songs I bought were? :3c176: Last YouTube video watched: grian build battle175: How many cousins do you have? i prob have more but ive only ever met like 2174: Do you have any siblings? yeah but theyre all half siblings & i never grew up with them173: Are your parents divorced? nah172: Are you taller than your mom? not by a long shot171: Do you play an instrument? i learned recorders in school … and i have a guitar …i dont rly play it tho170: What did you do yesterday? streamed w icey!!!! @god-kit & thn drew a bunch !!![ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: lol hell no168: Luck: kinda167: Fate: kinda166: Yourself: r u joking165: Aliens: yeah164: Heaven: eh163: Hell: eh162: God: kinda161: Horoscopes: kinda . i dont really believe it but its fun to find similarities in urself and ur zodiacs .160: Soul mates: kinda159: Ghosts: yeah158: Gay Marriage: um lmao yeah??? anyone who thinks otherwise pls unfollow me157: War: like ice said i dont believe it should happen but i know it still exists156: Orbs: oworbs?155: Magic: yeah my brothers a witch[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: both153: Drunk or High: high152: Phone or Online: online151: Red heads or Black haired: i dont have a preference150: Blondes or Brunettes: still dont have a preference149: Hot or cold: cold bc at least u can warm up . its much harder to cool down when ur hot148: Summer or winter: winter147: Autumn or Spring: autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate145: Night or Day: both have their ups & downs144: Oranges or Apples: apples i hate oranges143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont have a preference142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonalds141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: both140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: flips138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet & poor137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi136: Hillary or Obama: i dont really get super involved in politics so i dont really have a preference135: Burried or cremated: cremated134: Singing or Dancing: singing even tho im bad @ that too133: Coach or Chanel: wh132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: r these celebrities131: Small town or Big city: big city130: Wal-Mart or Target: target bc wal-mart is smely & got rid of littlest pet shops >:(129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: no one bc idk who ben stiller is128: Manicure or Pedicure: i never learned the difference so idk127: East Coast or West Coast: west coast bc west is a better word than east126: Your Birthday or Christmas: christmas125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: six flags123: Yankees or Red Sox: plz[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: i dont really have a fleshed out opinion on war i think its bad tho121: George Bush: dont wanna get into politics but i dont like him120: Gay Marriage: im 120% for it but it shouldnt Have to be a law to be a thing lmfao119: The presidential election: needs major improvement118: Abortion: its good for ppl who need or want the option!! pro choice !!!117: MySpace: YourSpace?116: Reality TV: i have a soft spot for reality shows115: Parents: ive never met good parents , only heard of them . good parents r cryptids114: Back stabbers: i hope they choke113: Ebay: its where i got my chowder keychain so its ok i guess112: Facebook: its boring111: Work: dont have an opinion yet110: My Neighbors: i dont trust them109: Gas Prices: i dont have a car so i dont really care108: Designer Clothes: i dont . care . theyre super overpriced tho & cater to skinny people107: College: wish it wasnt so expensive106: Sports: dont care105: My family: hate them104: The future: im not gonna have a future bc of my mom[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: 102: Last time you ate: yesterday101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: 100: Cried in front of someone: 99: Went to a movie theater: december 201698: Took a vacation: uhhh that was literal years ago & we just took a short trip to colorado springs for like a week97: Swam in a pool: i dont remember96: Changed a diaper: never95: Got my nails done: depends94: Went to a wedding: never93: Broke a bone: neVER AND I HOPE IT STAYS THAT WAY92: Got a peircing: april 201691: Broke the law:90: Texted: it depends[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: danny88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my piggies & dogs87: The last movie I saw: a horror movie i dont remember the name of86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: nothing lol my lifes going nowhere85: The thing im not looking forward to: having to suffer through life84: People call me: grizz83: The most difficult thing to do is: be alive82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: no81: My zodiac sign is: scorpio (or virgo , depending on which version you use)80: The first person i talked to today was: icey @god-kit​79: First time you had a crush: first grade78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: icey @god-kit​, danny77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: idk76: Right now I am talking to: no one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: idk74: I have/will get a job: idk73: Tomorrow: idk72: Today: draw71: Next Summer: idk70: Next Weekend: idk69: I have these pets: 4 dogs & 40 guinea pigs68: The worst sound in the world: idk67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my mom i hate her66: People that make you happy: all of my friends65: Last time I cried: two nights ago64: My friends are: the best 63: My computer is: cool ig62: My School: LOL61: My Car: i dont have one60: I lose all respect for people who: are shitty59: The movie I cried at was: inside out58: Your hair color is: brown but its so dark it looks black57: TV shows you watch: we bare bears , chowder56: Favorite web site: sparklecare hospital55: Your dream vacation: idk54: The worst pain I was ever in was: being alive53: How do you like your steak cooked: idk52: My room is: messy51: My favorite celebrity is: no one50: Where would you like to be: in a grave49: Do you want children: maybe idk48: Ever been in love: yeah . and most of them were terrible47: Who’s your best friend: wasnt this question already asked46: More guy friends or girl friends: idk45: One thing that makes you feel great is: my friends being happy 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: danny , icey , panda43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no41: Have you pre-named your children: no40: Last person I got mad at: idk39: I would like to move to: idk38: I wish I was a professional: artist[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: chocolate36: Vehicle: idk35: President: idk34: State visited: colorado33: Cellphone provider: sprint32: Athlete: idk31: Actor: idk30: Actress: idk29: Singer: owl city28: Band: imagine dragons27: Clothing store: idk26: Grocery store: idk25: TV show: chowder , we bare bears24: Movie: inside out23: Website: sparklecare hospital22: Animal: guinea pigs , bears , dogs21: Theme park: worlds of fun20: Holiday: christmas , halloween19: Sport to watch: idk18: Sport to play: wii tennis17: Magazine: woman’s world but only for the sudoku16: Book: i only ever got into magic tree house , warrior cats , and percy jackson so idk15: Day of the week: thursday14: Beach: idk13: Concert attended: never12: Thing to cook: i cant cook11: Food: spaghetti10: Restaurant: golden corral9: Radio station: idk8: Yankee candle scent: idk7: Perfume: idk6: Flower: idk5: Color: green4: Talk show host: idk3: Comedian: idk2: Dog breed: chow chows1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yeah

[i-amusemyself]

All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.