#should probably tag this as tlos

[colesstar]

okay tbh if i was lloyd i would have done everything i could to destroy the world too like YES GIRL manipulate the french army i to helping you raise a dragon show your mother she was OVERREACTING and shouldn’t have fucking DROWNED your magic.

i dont particularly like lloyd but I’ll give it to him he had a right to be mad

[thatonecrookedsmile]

More progress being made. I finished re-reading The Illusion of Living this past Friday. It's a nice book. 👍 This was the last of the Bendy books in this "marathon" that I'm doing which I had already read previously and now I'm rereading, meaning that I'm kind of up to date when it comes to rereading all the books that were released until December 2021. But the race is not over yet. Soon I'll start Fade To Black, and (technically) I'll finally be up to date.

Just to continue my chain of posting about the books I finished (at least, the main ones that I really wanted to read) here it is…something I did at the beginning of March, on the night when shit went down. (I hope you know what I'm talking about). I saw the tweets first hand, I was there! Right at the damn moment. And it was..something reading those tweets alright. If the image above doesn't show it, my mood that night and the next 1-2 days wasn't so… great. You might read this and think I'm exaggerating, but that night especially I, uuhhh, I didn't feel good! And this image (and maybe 2 more posts I made that night) are the results of that. (And to think that a week before this happened, I had finished rereading DCTL after a long time. Talk about better/worse timing than this)

At least, if you want the bright side of this, it's that even after that day, I decided to continue with my book marathon, and I don't regret it. I was down that day, but I wasn't out yet damn it!! and I'm still not. (I don't know if this sentence makes a lot of sense, but you get my point)

As a bonus, here's something I did the night I got to the part where Henry is first mentioned in the book (you can consider this as a representation of my reaction when he's first mentioned, both for when I read TIOL for the first time in 2021, as now in this rereading)

Feat. canon Henry design and my fanon design for him (I wanted to include him here + I still read this book with my fan-designs in mind)

[eileensdress]

One thing about me is if you give me a show with a jaded, morally grey dilf who adopts a silly yet equally jaded child I will eat it up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

[swordoffrivolousthings]

Rick Riordan has no scale for what it means to give characters positions of power or influence

I have seen a trend recently while thinking about the positions of power in PJO and HOO and who occupy them. A post that I can't find again also has breached this topic on a much smaller scale, so credit to them. (I'll try to find them and tag them.)

What I mean by positions of power and/or influence is this: positions from where a demigod has the ability to control organisations (i.e. the Hunters of Artemis and Camp Jupiter) or influence how and why things are done in a certain way (i.e. Annabeth's redesigning of Olympus and Jason's designing some of the other gods' cabins).

The first example is THALIA and how, upon becoming a hunter for Artemis, she is instantly catapulted to the top of the chain. Artemis bestows upon her the role of Lieutenant of Artemis. She is Artemis's second in command if the goddess herself isn't present.

But what does Thalia know of the inner workings of the Hunt? Next to nothing, because until a few days before, she hated them and what they stood for. She gets over her hate, which is part of her development, but it doesn't make her any less informed. One can't speculate that at some point she and Zoë have talked about the Hunt, because we have no hint of that happening in the books. One can headcanon that they'd had such a conversation, but we are speaking about canon. So she is blind. That would be fine, because she is a newbie, and has time to learn.

But no. Riordan gives her the most important place a hunter can occupy in the hierarchy. Why? The way I see it is Riordan decided that now that Thalia's completed her arc, she needs a physical reward. But going by book logic, I would also assume that Artemis was displaying some major nepotism. Because look, that is her sister, and she is in a meeting with daddy and she'd already crossed a line when interacting with her father. (I mean that she wants to reward the heroes while Zeus, most probably, just sees what they did as their duty and not something to be rewarded.) So Artemis boosts her sister up in the hierarchy so she wouldn't slight Zeus again.

Also, we've been ignoring the fact that there are far more experienced and reliable huntresses in the Hunt. Some of them have been with Artemis for many, many years bordering on millennia.

Next up is ANNABETH, about who I've already vented my frustrations, but let me say it again: Annabeth, while inspired by architecture and wanting to be an architect, is not trained and has no experience with it besides a few books and what I can assume is trying her hand at drawing potential projects. She isn't fit to redesign Olympus and certainly not able to think about all the facets of what it would entail, because she doesn't have the practical knowledge and the studies.

Yet Riordan writes it so that the gods offer her the opportunity to redesign their city state (is Olympus considered a city state??? Because it's what I've been thinking of it as). Why so? Because she has survived the war? (not like he was going to kill her, and I didn't think he would do it at any point in TLO.) And therefore she should get what she wanted besides all the PTSD and other disorders that most survivors get?

Because this is what I see.

We already know that the structure within Camp Jupiter is hinging on the child soldiers they train. The Senate is made out of centurions and ghosts and older citizens of New Rome, and we weren't shown that there had ever been adult Praetors. This is what Riordan intended, because this is what he wrote.

But it begs the question, why have REYNA and JASON specifically done to be awarded the position of Praetor that early in their lives? We are told that they went on at least a quest together, so they must have been pretty close before being made partners, and they seem to have worked well together.

We know that Reyna is a highly capable leader and managed to lead Camp Jupiter on her own for roughly 6 months. Jason was raised as a leader, so it is natural to assume that he knew how things worked. But that doesn't show why they were specifically chosen, especially after such a big conflict.

Just because Jason defeated a Titan single-handedly, it doesn't mean that there weren't any more capable hands for the duty to fall on. Also, has Reyna's POV ever revealed why she was chosen? Because I can't remember.

What I mean to say is that there were other, adult, people for the reasonability to fall back on. Because there had been said to be adults in the Senate. But Riordan, like before, has decided that the duty should fall on hormonal teenagers that have dumb ideas (not referring to Jason and Reyna, but more like stereotyping) instead of the adults. The excuse that demigods older than late teens and early twenties doesn't exist in New Rome. And don't tell me that not one of those people would take the duty, because there is shown to be influence and political power associated with being Praetor.

Alongside this, lets go to PERCY. Riordan decided that the Romans would raise Percy as Praetor because they'd seen him fight and the fact that he kind of saved their asses. Cool, I could understand this reasoning if the Romans had more time to get to know him. Because Percy's great! but he still is a child of Neptune, who they don't trust, and they don't trust him, because he was there for only a few hours a few days ago.

There is no basis on which to raise him straight from probation to praetorian-ship.

But Percy saved them! So Riordan decided, against all common sense, that he should get a position of power somewhere he knows next to nothing about, because of plot reasons and drama. Why couldn't Percy have just been seen as a great help and on that the Romans would build their trust upon him? To start to value his opinion?

But the plot of HOO moves so fast is was no room to take a breath and let things unfold naturally. So Riordan gives political and military powers to characters willy-nilly because it will help the story along.

Again to JASON, the cabin design things is the same as Annabeth's, so there is nothing to really say again. Other then the fact that they parallel each other in this way, and not in the good way when talking about writing.

Riordan has no scale of what it means when he gives his characters power and authority where they hadn't achieved it. He gives them upgrades in authority as a way to pay them for their good behaviour and character development, or simply because he hadn't thought all the way through what their positions would entail, and their ramifications.

I hope that I made a great job at explaining what I wanted. If you didn't understand what I said at some point, please do reach out. I can talk about this for a while.

[rynnaaurelius]

Character Continuity, #MenWritingWomen, & Healthy Relationships: The Tragedy of Annabeth Chase

[Tagging @evergardenwall and @thein273 real quick because they wanted to see this meta. Lord knows why]

I saw Annabeth Chase discourse on my dashboard, so, well. . .

This will be me breaking down Annabeth Chase's characterization and Rick Riordan's continued nonsense, in an attempt to square my many thoughts on her, for both my reference and maybe others'.

Also, bear in mind that a lot of this meta is less about Annabeth Chase as it is my breaking down what makes Annabeth Chase, because I do believe that she really stands out in how her background does and should shape who she is—and how often that gets ignored, both in canon and in fandom.

Disclaimer/Warnings: Extensive, non-graphic discussion of emotional/physical abuse and neglect, extensive discussion of sexism/internalized misogyny.

If you think I owe credit/should link to someone else, message me/leave me an ask.

In addition: My apologies in advance, but I cite directly from the books multiple times in this post, and the PDFs I use lack page numbers, so I do it by chapter.

Also, this post is long. Ridiculously long and hopefully thorough.

NOTE: Same rodeo rules as my Solangelo post:

I don't like bashing. Everyone can and should leave each other alone if they've got nothing nice to say. Block who you need to for a nice time on this fair hellsite.

While I'm not about to beat up on a ship/characters themselves—because they're hardly writing themselves—I'm about to take their characterization and Rick Riordan to the cleaners.

If that's not what you want to see, blacklist the tags 'anti percabeth', 'rr crit', 'riordan critical', and get on with your day, please.

Fandom isn't activism, but it can be hella racist, sexist, ableist, and queerphobic. We need to fight that.

Now, on with the show—

I. Fandom Context

I'm queer, got a small list of mental illnesses, and write Riordanverse fanfiction. I write a lot of Annabeth Chase's character/POV, too.

The character in question, Annabeth Chase, is a deuteragonist in Percy Jackson and the Olympians (PJO), and co-protagonist in its sequel series, Heroes of Olympus (HoO). She's popular in fandom, too.

As of 08/25/2021, she's in the third highest number of fanfictions in the Archive of Our Own (AO3) Percy Jackson and the Olympians - All Media Types fandom tag, behind only Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo.

[Click on image details in the corner for description]

Of course, it's worth mentioning that this probably has a lot to do with:

A. Her long-time major presence in canon. Annabeth was introduced in The Lightning Thief (TLT), the first book of the original PJO series.

B. The dominance of the Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase ship, AKA Percabeth, within the fandom, which was formally canonized in The Last Olympian (TLO).

The latter is backed up by both anecdotal accounts and when looking at relationship rankings by fic number in AO3:

[Click on image details in the corner for description]

Annabeth and Percy's romantic relationship wins out at 8,412, with Nico di Angelo/Will Solace (AKA Solangelo) handily coming in second at 7,936. But Annabeth doesn't appear again, romantic or platonic, until the last placement, where her and Percy's platonic dynamic makes an appearance.

(Congrats on achieving Satan's favorite number for Percy and Annabeth's gen dynamic, by the way)

Anyway. Just to look at romantic rankings for thoroughness, I excluded Annabeth & Percy, and what d'you know:

[Click on image details in the corner for description]

Congrats to the Nico/Leo shippers, I remember when that ship was huge in the Riordanverse fandom.

But from this, I think it's safe to say that Annabeth's popularity, is at least partly wrapped up in the popularity of shipping her with Percy Jackson, despite her long-time tenure as a leading hero in the Riordanverse, particularly considering characters in her stratosphere of popularity (Percy, Nico), and those one step below (Jason Grace, Leo Valdez), feature multiple times within the most written-about romantic relationships.

So this is also a Percabeth analysis, which I'm sure will piss absolutely no one off. Wonderful.

(But we'll get there)

II. The Retconned, Pathetic, Half-Dead Clusterfuck We Call Annabeth's Timeline And Backstory

Rick Riordan can't do math or continuity with a gun to his head and it drives me insane, so that's what we're calling this section lmao

To keep me from going insane and keep confusion to a minimum, we'll be recounting what I call hard canon: Confirmed events, dates, and actions.

We're ignoring for a second the emotional and psychological fallout of choices, or soft canon, since—particularly for pre-canon events, which form the goddamn backbone of Annabeth's original series arc—there's a lot more there to interpret and argue over. Especially with regards to Annabeth's family and personal trauma, which gets Jossed repeatedly.

We're also ignoring my personal headcanons/fixed timeline that I use for writing fanfiction for a second, so if you read my shit. . .this ain't that Annabeth. Or the other one.

This is going to be pretty spare, since a lot of important things are left up for debate, and Riordan is fundamentally uninterested in the psychology of the mortal parents in his books.

1. When Annabeth is "born", her father asks Athena to take her back. She discusses this with Percy in TLT, Ch. 13: I Plunge To My Death:

"My dad’s resented me since the day I was born, Percy," she said. "He never wanted a baby. When he got me, he asked Athena to take me back and raise me on Olympus because he was too busy with his work. She wasn’t happy about that. She told him heroes had to be raised by their mortal parent."

2. In the same canon conversation, she tells Percy that she "took the hint. [She] wasn't wanted. . ." and ran away when she was seven, after what she recounts as inadvertent neglect due to her demigod status at best, and purposeful emotional neglect/abuse at worse.

She reaches camp before she turned eight with Grover Underwood, Thalia Grace, and Luke Castellan, with an army of monsters trying to kill them.

2A. Two summers before Percy Jackson arrives at Camp Half-Blood, when Annabeth is ten, she receives a letter from her father, asking for her to come home so they can try again. He gives her his Harvard college ring, which she still keeps.

"My dad sent it to me folded up in a letter, two summers ago. The ring was, like, his main keepsake from Athena. . .Anyway, he said he wanted me to have it. He apologized for being a jerk, said he loved me and missed me. He wanted me to come home and live with him."

This ends horribly, because of course.

"I tried to go home for that school year, but my stepmom was the same as ever. She didn’t want her kids put in danger by living with a freak. Monsters attacked. We argued. Monsters attacked. We argued. I didn’t even make it through winter break. I called Chiron and came right back to Camp Half-Blood."

[Both quotes above from TLT, Ch. 16: We Take A Zebra To Vegas]

3. With Thalia turned into a tree by her father, Zeus, to save her life, Annabeth remained at Camp Half-Blood for the next five years, as proven by the five beads on her camp necklace that she shows to Percy in TLT, Ch. 7: My Dinner Goes Up In Smoke:

Annabeth nodded. From under the collar of her T-shirt she pulled a leather necklace with five clay beads of different colors. It was just like Luke’s, except Annabeth’s also had a big gold ring strung on it, like a college ring.

"I’ve been here since I was seven," she said.

3A. Worth noting this makes Annabeth and Percy's official birth year of 1993 wrong. Percy is already twelve years old in June 2005, and Annabeth, while never stated outright to also be already twelve, they are heavily implied to be the same age multiple times throughout the original series.

We also get this in MoA, Ch. II: Annabeth:

She’d secretly had a crush on him since they were twelve years old.

So, they're born in 1992. This isn't all that important but I am petty and this has driven me batshit while working out timelines in the past.

4. At the end of the summer of TLT, Annabeth writes her father and asks to come home for the year (TLT, Ch. 22: The Prophecy Comes True):

"I wrote him a letter when we got back,’ Annabeth said. ‘Just like you suggested. I told him... I was sorry. I’d come home for the school year if he still wanted me. He wrote back immediately. We decided... we’d give it another try."

5. So, towards this point, we, as readers figures that Annabeth's family has been. . .not great, towards her, at minimum. A lot of things are left ambiguous, but it's clear that there's been a lot of misunderstandings and A+ Parenting going on. Which makes it very interesting when we reach The Titan's Curse (TTC), finally meet Frederick Chase, Annabeth's dad, and Helen Chase, her stepmother, and this is what we see (TTC, Ch. 16: We Meet The Dragon Of Eternal Bad Breath):

After hearing Annabeth gripe about her dad for two years, I was expecting him to have devil horns and fangs. I was not expecting him to be wearing an old-fashioned aviator’s cap and goggles. He looked so weird, with his eyes bugging out through the glasses, that we all took a step back on the front porch.

"Hello," he said in a friendly voice. "Are you delivering my aeroplanes?"

Thalia, Zoë and I looked at each other warily.

"Um, no, sir," I said.

"Drat," he said. "I need three more Sopwith Camels."

"Right," I said, though I had no clue what he was talking about. "We’re friends of Annabeth."

"Annabeth?" He straightened as if I’d just given him an electric shock. "Is she all right? Has something happened?"

Followed up shortly by Helen's—who Annabeth has expressed a lot of vitriol towards—first on-page appearance:

We introduced ourselves a little uneasily, but Mrs Chase seemed really nice. She asked if we were hungry. We admitted we were, and she told us she’d bring us some cookies and sandwiches and sodas.

"Dear," Dr Chase said. "They came about Annabeth."

I half expected Mrs Chase to turn into a raving lunatic at the mention of her stepdaughter, but she just pursed her lips and looked concerned.

"All right. Go on up to the study and I’ll bring you some food." She smiled at me. "Nice meeting you, Percy. I’ve heard a lot about you."

Effectively, after two books and change's worth of talking up Annabeth's difficult childhood and past and the borderline hate she's expressed for her father's choices and stepmother's treatment of her, both when she was seven and when she was ten, they're de-fanged within the narrative pretty quickly, with Percy repeatedly wondering if these are actually Annabeth's relatives.

6. This, of course, not to say that people can't change or improve for the better. It would be more than easy enough to mention how Annabeth's parents have read Parenting A Demigod For Dummies or similar since she's last seen them.

Instead, we get this conversation as our follow-up in TTC, Ch. 18: A Friend Says Goodbye:

Annabeth and I flew along side by side.

"Your dad seems cool," I told her.

It was too dark to see her expression. She looked back, even though California was far behind us now.

"I guess so," she said. "We’ve been arguing for so many years."

"Yeah, you said."

"You think I was lying about that?" It sounded like a challenge, but a pretty half-hearted one, like she was asking it of herself.

"I didn’t say you were lying. It’s just... he seems okay. Your stepmom, too. Maybe they’ve, uh, got cooler since you saw them last."

She hesitated.

And. . .there are interesting implications here, about Annabeth's perception of her parents when she was younger. I'm going to put a pin in this for the next section. They're not, necessarily, bad implications, considering Annabeth's character and how much is left ambiguous as of TTC about what exactly happened to make her run away beyond monsters and arguing with her parents.

7. For now, Annabeth's relationship with her mortal relatives seems fixed. Battle of the Labyrinth (BotL) and TLO happen, her mortal family remains off-screen, and we don't hear about them until the third book of HoO: The Mark of Athena (MoA), Ch. XX: Annabeth:

[This is a long passage, but I think it's important to include it in full]

Terror plunged her into memories. She was seven years old again, alone in her bedroom in Richmond, Virginia. The spiders came at night. They crawled in waves from her closet and waited in the shadows. She yelled for her father, but her father was away for work. He always seemed to be away for work.

Her stepmother came instead.

I don’t mind being the bad cop, she had once told Annabeth’s father, when she didn’t think Annabeth could hear.

It’s only your imagination, her stepmother said about the spiders. You’re scaring your baby brothers.

They’re not my brothers, Annabeth argued, which made her stepmother’s expression harden. Her eyes were almost as scary as the spiders.

Eventually she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. She woke up in the morning, freckled with bites, cobwebs covering her eyes, her mouth, and nose. The bites faded before she even got dressed, so she had nothing to show her stepmother except cobwebs, which her stepmother thought was some sort of clever trick.

No more talk of spiders, her stepmother said firmly. You’re a big girl now. The second night, the spiders came again. Her stepmother continued to be the bad cop. Annabeth wasn’t allowed to call her father and bother him with this nonsense. No, he would not come home early.

The third night, Annabeth ran away from home.

It's worth remembering that A) Annabeth is still seven years old and a child, B) Night terrors are not unheard-of in children, and C) A child screaming their head off every night and begging just to call their father is not something that you ignore and tell them to grow up with.

So. We now have two relationships for Annabeth and her mortal parents, because for as much as we get of her POV in HoO, we don't actually get very many details about what was, at minimum, a very messy complicated relationship. Either:

A. Despite being unprepared for a demigod child to raise, Annabeth's mortal parents did their best and Annabeth tricked herself into think they were both awful and gaslighted herself into believing they hated her and she had plenty of cause to run away from home.

B. Annabeth's mortal parents were woefully unprepared for a demigod child to raise, blamed the child for the monsters brought down upon them, and gaslighted the child about part of their godly heritage until said child—a daughter of Athena, who presumably is good at risk-reward calculations—decided they would rather take their chances on the run then stay home.

Pick your lane, Riordan.

III. Bringing Up Daisy A Demigod

Please note: This section is about to get into speculation and headcanon. I do my best to clearly delineate the line between my theories, insulting Riordan, and confirmed canon. Sorry if I fuck it up.

So, the case of Annabeth's father and stepmother is actually pretty curious in canon. Obviously, it's incredibly difficult to raise a demigod child, and I think sometimes that non-Sally Jackson parents don't get enough credit for the jobs they do.

Riordan tends to divide parents into two categories: parents that do such a wonderful job they're borderline canonized as saints (Sally Jackson, Esperanza Valdez, Maria di Angelo), and parents who utterly fail at parenting (Beryl Grace, May Castellan, Marie Levesque).

Mind you, this is also how he and the narrative paint them and their actions. I could write whole essays on Riordan's treatment of mothers and my feelings about that, but we're focusing on Annabeth's mortal parents here.

And they're. . .weird. I think the closest parent to them is Tristan McLean, but he nopes out of facing Piper's demigod heritage in canon for his own mental health.

Frederick—because ultimately, this all comes down to Frederick—is, ultimately, given a "passing" grade in demigod parenting in canon, with the giant asterisk of Annabeth running away because she believed he and Helen didn't care about her.

But—still just going off of what's confirmed in canon—I'm disinclined to disagree with this (Bear in mind I love Frederick's mad scientist/historian schtick; I like him. I don't think he's a great parent).

So, he and Athena have a whole whirlwind romance. Athena gives him their brainchild as a symbol of their intellectual love. Frederick doesn't want said child, knowing who Athena is.

But obviously, he gets with the program and raises Annabeth, clearly informing Annabeth of who her mother is and what she is from a young age. Which works, to a point.

The problem is the monsters. And the spiders. And the godly heritage. And—look, integrating families is difficult enough when all the children involved are mortal.

Telling Annabeth Chase that her mother is a freaking goddess, but also, her father is in love again and re-marrying, is not going to go over well. Not when Annabeth's a small child and, admittedly, a prideful little shit on the best of days.

But regardless of how difficult she's being, she's still a child and Frederick's responsibility, since he either owned up, or is still refusing responsibility (Which would be a huge yikes).

I think to not inform her stepmother, the person taking care of her while Frederick is away, traveling wherever he is for his job, that Annabeth's a demigod and there may be consequences from that, is parental malpractice.

Because. . .look. Pre-MoA, it's very easy to make a case that Annabeth was determined to think the worst of her mortal parents, and any and all mistakes/arguments they had were magnified tenfold in her mind—and then once she meets Thalia, Luke, and their parental horrorshows, it's very easy to put together something in her mind that matches what her new family went through.

But the spiders happened. The supernatural night terrors happened.

And her parents not only did nothing, but those two nights of night terrors left Annabeth Chase, daughter of the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, convinced that she was better off running away from home, alone.

She was also clearly still of the belief that her father could fix everything, and judging from the state of Frederick and Helen's marriage in TTC as well as Bad Cop conversation, "don't let Annabeth call her father for 'attention' while he's on a work trip" is likely a mutual decision between the two of them.

(It's also worth questioning the consequences of how Frederick is implied to be clear-sighted, since he's able to see the Pegasi Blackjack, Guido, and Porkpie in TTC without problems, but Helen is not)

She meets Thalia Grace and Luke Castellan and things get. . .even more fascinating, frankly. Because those two very angry, very violent teenagers—not without reason, don't get me wrong—essentially then spend a pretty important time in Annabeth's life acting as the closest thing to parents she has.

So, believing her parents either can't or won't acknowledge what's happening to her, and, like her parents, blaming herself for the monsters said to have been attacking their home in Richmond, VA, Annabeth runs away from home.

[Edit, 12/5/2021: I dunno how many people will ever actually see this, but I think an oversight I made in this post is mentioning that abusers appearing perfectly charming and normal and nothing like their victims mentioned is really common in real life, and Riordan playing it straight via Percy's POV is, uh, really fucked up? It's increasingly my suspicion that this also really contributes to fandom perception of Annabeth's trauma, too.

Anyway. As you were.]

She's assuming her demigod heritage and modeling herself after her heroes, by her own admission: Luke and Thalia.

Then Annabeth loses Thalia. She then only has Luke and Camp Half-Blood to take care of her through a pretty formative time in her life, where she's taught the only possible way she can hold onto anything is being smarter and better at violence then anyone else.

Which, well. Annabeth Chase is pretty good at that.

IV. Character Construction: Growth and Flaws

One of my most red-hot takes in Riordanverse fandom coming right up. Ready?

Annabeth Chase has no character arc in the original PJO series or HoO.

(Percy doesn't have much of one either, but that's for another essay)

It's really obvious and depressing with Annabeth, however, because she is perfectly set up for some really fascinating characterization. And Riordan draws attention to it! Attachment issues, hubris, just generally. . .Annabeth learning how to healthily deal with people outside of immediate life-or-death situations, because my god, she's got hang-ups.

(Not unreasonably so, all things considered. But still)

But nothing is ever meaningfully done with this. In TLT, there are signs of growth—Annabeth looks like she's coming to respect Percy and view him as a friend (Wanting him on her team for Capture The Flag, talking about her family with him, looking after him when he's attacked by the pit scorpion, etc), we see her both put her own intelligence to work and work with Grover and Percy (fighting the Furies, Medusa, dog-training Cerberus, fighting Ares, etc).

There are still flaws and signals of recurring issues over the rest of the series (Annabeth's attachment issues acting up with Rachel) along with signs of Annabeth's own inherent strengths and abilities (Such as fighting the Hydra), and her ability to still learn from mistakes when faced with them (Tellingly, they usually require her to face physical consequences because of her own belief in her intelligence).

But nothing's ever made of it. There's no culminating moment.

Things get. . .weird. Repeatedly weird, throughout the original series. In Sea of Monsters (SoM), we have the fatal flaw discussion (Ch. 13: Annabeth Tries To Swim Home):

"You feel that way?"

She looked down. "Don’t you ever feel like, what if the world really is messed up? What if we could do it all over again from scratch? No more war. Nobody homeless. No more summer reading homework."

And this is genuinely interesting stuff! You can see how Luke would try to exploit that to try and get her on his side in the future! This is what Kronos is claiming he offers to the demigods.

Annabeth's belief in her ideals, combined with her conviction in her intelligence and ability to get this right, can make for a dangerous combination.

This also combines pretty beautifully with her relationship with Luke, which is. . .a mess.

(We're going to ignore any romantic overtones from that scene in TLO from Luke towards Annabeth. He loved her like a little sister/daughter, she adored him and had a helluva crush on him for a while. End. Of. Story.

. . .Riordan really doesn't remember what age differences as a teenager were like, huh)

Anyway. With Thalia as a pine tree and her relationship with her mortal parents still up in the air, Luke was the only family Annabeth had and the person she had convinced herself that she could depend on for anything. Luke, in turn, kept losing family to the gods and their apparent whims: First his mother to the Oracle, then Thalia to the Great Prophecy, and now he has watch his siblings and Annabeth grow up and wait for them to die.

They absolutely bring out the worst and most irrationally emotional parts in each other and it's been established many—

"Travelling with a Cyclops," Luke chided. "Talk about dishonouring Thalia’s memory! I’m surprised at you, Annabeth. You of all people—"

"Stop it!" she shouted.

I didn’t know what Luke was talking about, but Annabeth buried her head in her hands like she was about to cry.

[SoM, Ch. 9: I Have The Worst Family Reunion Ever]

—many—

I knew immediately that Annabeth had designed it all. She was the architect for a whole new world. She had reunited her parents. She had saved Luke. She had done everything she’d ever wanted.

[SoM, Ch. 13: Annabeth Tries To Swim Home]

—many—

“Luke!” Annabeth yelled. “Stop this. Let us go!”

[BotL, Ch. 14: My Brother Duels Me To The Death]

—many—

He did just what I expected. He said, “Antaeus is dead. His oath dies with him. But since I’m feeling merciful today, I’ll have you killed quickly.”

[BotL, Ch. 14: My Brother Duels Me To The Death]

—many—

"YOU!" Annabeth turned on Luke. "To think that I—that I thought—"

She drew her knife.

"Annabeth, don’t." I tried to take her arm, but she shook me off.

She attacked Kronos, and his smug smile faded. Perhaps some part of Luke remembered that he used to like this girl, used to take care of her when she was little. . .I yanked her back as Kronos swung his scythe, slicing the air where she’d been standing.

She fought me and screamed, "I HATE you!" I wasn’t sure who she was talking to—me or Luke or Kronos.

[TLO, Ch. 18: My Parents Go Commando]

—many times.

Yes, my other red-hot take is that Annabeth should've had a corruption arc at some point. Nobody will convince me otherwise.

But back to the point, which is not what I think should've happened with Annabeth, but rather how we never really see her struggle with actual weak points in her personality and/or past.

In BotL, when she's in a rather one-sided pissing match with Rachel Elizabeth Dare over Percy's affections because. . .girls, I guess, it's pretty obvious that it's not—or, at least, shouldn't be—over Percy's romantic affections.

It's over the fact that Rachel offers Percy something that Annabeth never can, and in doing so, threatens Annabeth's place in Percy's life as his Most Important Friend.

(Rachel de facto also threatens Grover's place in Percy's life as his best friend, but Grover, to the best of our knowledge, doesn't have endless attachment issues.)

Rachel, while being clear-sighted, is still a mortal. She—pre-becoming the Oracle of Delphi—leads a pretty normal life. When she and Percy hang out, it's outside demigod things. It's Percy, for the first time in a long while that he gets to experience normal things that are good things. It's not having to cope with Smelly Gabe, or try and not fail out of mortal high school, or worry over his mom.

When he hangs out with Rachel, he's completely himself, not fighting for his life, and gets to hang out with some he likes. This is really fucking rare in Percy's life.

Hell, in TLO (Ch. 1: I Go Cruising With Explosives):

Technically I wasn't supposed to be driving because I wouldn't turn sixteen for another week, but my mom and my stepdad, Paul, took my friend Rachel and me to this private stretch of beach on the South Shore, and Paul let us borrow his Prius for a short spin.

You could switch out names of people and places, and this could be just about any summer coming-of-age teen romcom. Percy "my life as a half-blood sucks shit beyond even the normal half-blood experience" Jackson never gets this.

Rachel even knows and respects the fact that he's a demigod and will always be sucked back into that. Bonus points.

(. . .I might be spreading the Rachel/Percy agenda here. Maybe)

Anyway. Annabeth knows this. She really knows this. Annabeth, who has, at some point or another, lost nearly everyone in her life because of either too much demigod or too much mortal, who has survived by fully assuming her demigod identity year-round, can't offer Percy something like this.

We should see Annabeth struggling with this. Struggling with the idea that Percy can go, have nice things in the mortal world, still do demigods things, and not completely lose him like she has Thalia, Luke, or her father.

But nope.

So, Rachel,” Annabeth said, “where are you from, exactly?”

[BotL, Ch. 14: My Brother Duels Me To The Death]

Bearing Annabeth's attachment, abandonment, and losing-people issues in mind, i think this also puts quite a different spin on this moment from BotL, Ch. 13: We Hire A New Guide:

Annabeth glared at me. “You are the single most annoying person I have ever met!” And she stormed out of the room.

Less "jealousy" and more "I spent two weeks convinced you were dead and just realized you are not only not dead, but instead spent two weeks with a beautiful immortal goddess who asked you to stay with her and because of my unprocessed relationship issues and the number of emotions I'm dealing with right now, I can't really process that properly."

If I'm allowed to fully editorialize for a second: I find jealousy subplots, ninety percent of the time, to be extremely tedious and pointless, including here. Percy doesn't fully clue into the fact that Annabeth's jealous of Rachel for whatever reason, Annabeth doesn't learn how to let go of her friends and not be so possessive, and nothing is learned by anyone.

All that's achieved is Annabeth looks much worse as a person than before, and is eventually rewarded with a kiss on Percy's sixteenth birthday and her "romantic competition" being sworn to eternal celibacy.

No growth. No change. Nothing.

And there could've been, I repeat, something, a lot of something, to be learned here, especially with Annabeth fully and completely losing Luke to Kronos in the same book, as he takes on the Titan's spirit. With her learning to emotionally let go and move on in healthy ways.

And it's really emblematic of Annabeth's problems growing as a character, at the end of the day. She has enough truly great traits and strengths to remain a protagonist—Annabeth, for all that Riordan rarely gives her a chance to shine, is still brilliant as hell, doesn't know how to surrender without stabbing her enemy in the back, is stubborn as a pig, and sticks to her guns, and I love her for it—but the flaws. . .man, her flaws.

Riordan never actually picks at her true flaws beyond waving vaguely in their general direction, and instead chooses weaknesses that have either never been particularly relevant to her as a character, or things that, if anything, were shored up in the original series.

Case in point:

What did Annabeth have? A bronze dagger that did nothing special, and a cursed silver coin. She had her backpack with Daedalus’s laptop, a water bottle, a few pieces of ambrosia for emergencies, and a box of matches—probably useless, but her dad had drilled into her head that she should always have a way to make fire. She had no amazing powers. Even her one true magic item, her New York Yankees cap of invisibility, had stopped working, and was still back in her cabin on the Argo II.

[MoA, Ch. XXXIII: Annabeth]

Two perceived weaknesses for her to overcome here: The lack of her divine mother helping her out, and no big shiny weapons or special powers.

Two weaknesses that Annabeth has been dealing with her entire life. Hell, Annabeth is the one who gives Percy the "your godly parents aren't ever around" speech in TLT. She knows this.

And the lack of special powers isn't new. If we were to salvage that, it would be the fact that for a rare time in her life, Annabeth is alone.

(Cue: My angry speech about how MoA is where we should have gotten what went down in TTC while Annabeth was kidnapped, and how that should've been interesting as fuck.

And even then, she had Luke and Artemis)

Annabeth gets less character development than Percy in HoO and that is saying something.

But what do I know, compared to the guy who makes his stand-in for any sexism less blatant than a literal ancient dude ghost thinking women shouldn't be warriors to be blonde hair?

V. Notes on Demigod Children and Inherited Traits

Okay, this section is going to be short and sweet due to obvious reasons, but I feel that I should include it for the sake of completeness. It wouldn't be a meta essay about Annabeth Chase if I didn't address The Blonde ThingTM.

*Clears Throat* Ahem.

The Blonde Thing is beyond stupid and peak #MenWritingWomen. I have spoken.

I am blond. The only people I have ever met who even made blond jokes even semi-seriously were preteen boys, who knew that it would get a rise out of their female blonde agemates with short tempers.

. . .which lines right up with Rick Riordan, now that I think about it.

I do suspect the blonde hair was meant to function as a stand-in for the systematic misogyny Annabeth would face as a female genius in a male-dominated field, when her social skills are already not fantastic.

And, like, that's interesting, but it also requires you to have a more nuanced understanding of feminism than the late aughts-celebrity tabloids. Or any idea of how to actually write women and girls.

Lastly: Having the godly inherited traits of the goddess of wisdom being blonde hair and grey eyes is racist as hell and I despise it. Fuck off, Riordan. I get you want a resemblance of some kind, but THIS:

Annabeth sat at table six with a bunch of serious-looking athletic kids, all with her grey eyes and honey-blonde hair.

[TLT, Ch. 7: My Dinner Goes Up In Smoke]

This isn't it.

The last thing I remember is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light and the stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blonde hair curled like Cinderella’s.

[TLT, Ch. 4: My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting]

Tell me you don't understand how white women's hair normally works without telling me you don't understand how white women's hair normally works.

Either Annabeth's hair is a thick rat's nest and Percy's just being poetic, which is absolutely fair, knowing that boy, or Annabeth actually enjoys curling her hair and taking excellent care of it. You can't have her Not Like Other Girls it and give her fabulous loose curls, Riordan.

*For reference, here's what the infamous and oft-used "princess blond curls", a descriptor used by multiple characters, actually look like IRL:

VI. Perseus Jackson

This section is going to make everyone angry. I apologize in advance.

So, Annabeth Chase and Percy Jackson. Probably one of the more iconic canon romantic relationships of fantasy of the last twenty years. There's a reason for that.

Before I tear it apart, let's get a couple things straight:

A. They do have chemistry for days. There's a reason, beyond the relatively young age of the Riordanverse fandom, that they're so pervasively shipped.

B. They can, in the right hands, do a pretty good opposites complement each other, instead of opposites attract.

C. They hit a lot of the tropes in canon that people really enjoy, and, for the most part the story (if not the writing), is a good one; you've got friends to lovers, mild Romeo & Juliet vibes due to their parents, they're pretty badass together, lots of genuine attraction that isn't just the usual compulsory heteronormativity, etc.

D. They genuinely possess a lot of legwork and time put into their relationship, with plenty nice moments. I believe they have a strong relationship with romantic potential/realized romance.

E. Annabeth Chase is not Satan. She is a traumatized, brilliant demigod with attachment issues, who has been repeatedly failed by the adults and people acting in loco parentis around her. This doesn't rob her of all agency or blame for what we're about to discuss.

F. (Those attachment and mistrust issues are part of the reason she and Percy "I never met a friend I wouldn't burn the world for" Jackson work, but that doesn't excuse. . .well)

There is, however, one and a half problems. Very big ones. I say half because I'm of the opinion that one feeds off the half, but not entirely, so it still counts.

1. So, remember how we just finished discussing all of Annabeth's many issues, that Riordan never really addresses in any meaningful capacity? As well as how he so drastically missed the point with Annabeth's jealousy towards Rachel? I sort of lied in saying Riordan never really addresses them.

He does. He romanticizes a lot of Annabeth's more trauma-related and problematic traits where Percy/Annabeth is concerned.

We're going to largely study the big one, because it's the infamous one, and also. . .it really sort of encapsulates Annabeth's issues, how they're channeled into her and Percy's relationship, proves Riordan is aware of them, but then. . .nothing is ever done about it.

[PLEASE NOTE: If discussion/breakdown of an abusive action/patterns of potential abusive or toxic actions are triggering for you, skip to 1.5, marked with asterisks and in bigger text.]

From MoA, Ch. II, Annabeth:

Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement. Romans cried out. Some surged forward, but Reyna shouted, “Hold! Stand down!”

Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. She didn’t care what the Romans thought. A white-hot lump of anger expanded in her chest—a tumor of worry and bitterness that she’d been carrying around since last autumn.

“If you ever leave me again,” she said, her eyes stinging, “I swear to all the gods—”

There's a lot going down here. We're going to break it down.

-First off, we've got the immediate violence. This isn't something I'm going to excuse because you shouldn't judo flip your boyfriends, no matter how terrifying the last couple weeks have been for you, but it's certainly. . .explainable (re: Annabeth has been repeatedly taught via traumatic experience that the best way to handle losing people and re-assert control over the situation is action of some kind, usually violent).

-I'm also going to say it outright, because I think it's only responsible of me to say: It is an abusive action. Men can be abused by their partners, including if said partner is a woman.

-It's not an inherently bad place for the narrative to go, but it, like many other places in these books, is an excellent time for Annabeth to realize that her trauma is hurting others, including her boyfriend.

-So. Next up. Obviously, we have the reaction of the Romans, Reyna telling them to stand down until they get a better idea of what just happened, since presumably, Percy has been singing Annabeth's praises since he got his memory back.

-Then we have the next big thing, which tells me that Annabeth's. . .lack of self-awareness, at times, when she lacks a degree of separation from the situation at hand, is in place, when she says, "If you ever leave me again. . ."

-Obviously, Percy didn't have a choice in the matter, which leaves me inclined to believe this is the shitty writing acting up again, because for whatever reasons, Riordan decided in the back half of HoO that he had it out for Percy (But that's another essay), or—it is, once again, after what's probably been an awful couple months for Annabeth, a lot of very old, scarring stuff is acting up in victim-blaming Percy for his kidnapping in that moment.

-The thing that kills me is this isn't a bad moment, but a very good one, if we treat it for what it is: a wake-up call that Annabeth's trauma has exaggerated her worst personality traits until she's now hurting the people she loves.

*1.5*

A lot of Problem #1 featured my making sense of the canon given us, so I think I've earned the right to quickly go off on a few things out of diegesis real quick, so here we go:

Richard Riordan sucks at writing female characters and I will fucking fight him in a Denny's parking lot at 3AM over it.

Annabeth Chase, in the original series, suffers from a lot of tropes of late aughts/early teens pop culture feminism: She's aggressive, SmartTM, dismissive of boys, Pretty Without Trying, suffers from the ever-infamous I'm Not Like Other Girls Syndrome, in which Annabeth seems to almost actively avoid or even hate being perceived as a normal girl her age—something that, interestingly, Riordan almost seems to try and rectify with writing Annabeth and Piper into a close friendship off-page between The Lost Hero (TLH) and MoA.

Admittedly, while I like the idea of Annabeth and Piper bonding, there's certainly something to be said for Riordan choosing Piper, who gets a narrative where she gets to prove to her half-sister, Drew Tanaka, an embodiment of "what Aphrodite stands for" and extremely traditionally feminine, that she is That Much Better than Drew.

In addition to be extremely annoying to sift through for a real character, it also betrays a real lack of thought of Riordan into what Annabeth's non-Percy life looks like, which carries over into HoO in the form of a fairly popular complaint: Annabeth and Percy spend way too much time being a cutesy endgame couple.

If Annabeth's closest friend pre-Percy's arrival is Luke, who's much older than her and pre-occupied with trying to bring down Olympus, and Grover, who by all accounts hasn't been that close to her since the loss of Thalia, that's going to leave a mark.

It's certainly a reasonable enough scenario: Annabeth's terrified of opening up again after bonding to the point of co-dependency with Thalia and Luke, while Percy befriends her against her will.

But we don't get that. We don't get tales of Annabeth actively avoiding becoming too close with her siblings, or telling Clarisse and Silena and her other age-mates to go away, she doesn't need them. Or her learning to open up again.

Annabeth Chase, for all that she gets a lot of time on-screen, never gets clear turning points of growth in her character because she's too busy struggling for the purpose of the men in her life.

She's never afforded the complexity necessary for growth, unless it's in service of the plot, or furthering the character of Percy Jackson or Luke Castellan.

She explains her background and fatal flaws to Percy so he can learn. She struggles with her relationship with Luke so that Luke can have angst over being the bad guy—or because making Luke/Thalia canon is too much moral ambiguity for Rick Riordan.

Hell, even in TLT, when she's struggling with returning to her family, Percy Jackson is encouraging her to return to the family she tells him didn't want her, and is very eager to make excuses for them:

. . .He got a “regular” mortal wife, and had two “regular” mortal kids, and tried to pretend I didn’t exist."

I stared out the train window. The lights of a sleeping town were drifting by. I wanted to make Annabeth feel better, but I didn’t know how.

"My mom married a really awful guy," I told her. "Grover said she did it to protect me, to hide me in the scent of a human family. Maybe that’s what your dad was thinking."

[TLT, Ch. 13: I Plunge To My Death]

As well as this wonderfully uncomfortable bit, after Annabeth informs Percy that whenever she visits her family, monsters attack, she's blamed for everything, and she gets into endless arguments until she decides it's better off at camp:

"You think you’ll ever try living with your dad again?"

She wouldn’t meet my eyes. "Please. I’m not into self-inflicted pain."

"You shouldn’t give up," I told her. ‘You should write him a letter or something."

"Thanks for the advice," she said coldly, "but my father’s made his choice about who he wants to live with."

[TLT, Ch. 16: We Take A Zebra To Vegas]

Of course, as we've previously well-established, Riordan either can't quite decide the narrative that he wants for Annabeth's backstory, or he has a very complicated one in mind that he refuses to devote the needed legwork to. So the veracity of some of what Percy is told can be left up in the air.

And Percy is, of course, still pretty optimistic, seeing as far as he's concerned, Sally is nothing but wonderful—to say nothing of how weird Riordan can get with biological relatives and the need to have them in your life.

But all things considered, with Percy is able to push that with an ease that I find mildly discomforting. Annabeth's life is given a simplicity and ease that I find discomforting, all things considered.

She's held in captivity and what amounts to torture as she's tricked by her oldest living friend into holding up the sky during TTC, with few apparent consequences. Assuming she's gained friends at some point, we don't see much of her grief or worry in BotL or TLO.

Percy is a limited narrator, but very little is given of Annabeth that revolves around Annabeth. Even Annabeth lashing out after Percy's return about Ogygia is back to Percy. Not her own emotions or mental state after the immediate fact.

In TLO, the closest Annabeth gets past Love-Interest-In-Waiting (re: Rachel) and Plot-Device-For-Percy's-Badassery-And-Manpain (Being Percy's anchor and taking Ethan's knife for him), is her moments with Luke as they struggle towards the finale, when we finally get, "Family, Luke. You promised."

It's about Annabeth and Luke's relationship and Annabeth finally letting him go! It's great!

But even that is turned back around in service of Luke and Percy with this:

"Did you . . ." Luke coughed and his lips glistened red. "Did you love me?"

[TLO, Ch. 19: We Trash The Eternal City]

(We're ignoring any romantic overtones that aren't between Annabeth and Percy in this scene or about Annabeth's one-sided crush on Luke. Ignoring them, damn it}

It's all in service of Luke and Percy's angst in completing the Final Prophecy. Which I would possibly give a pass for because adrenaline and final battle and story pacing if Luke were brought up at all in HoO.

Beyond Percy's thinking about him for 0.5 seconds in MoA, of course.

For all that Annabeth has a lot of POV time in The Mark of Athena and The House of Hades (HoO), she's not afforded much depth in her narrative.

We don't learn anything new about her, we don't hear much about her mortal family, whom she is presumably at least on speaking terms with these days, and—most infuriatingly enough, in my opinion—she doesn't spend much time thinking about her own life beyond, well, her boyfriend.

And. . .look. In a lot of ways, the original PJO series really reflect the environment and time they were written in. Including and perhaps especially in the treatment of Annabeth.

There are a lot of things in there can be forgiven, however, with good writing in HoO that's reflective of greater attention in writing female characters and affording them complex inner lives that don't either revolve around the plot at hand or their love interest.

This. . .doesn't happen. TLH!Annabeth Chase being singularly obsessed with finding her missing boyfriend speaks for itself, I've already discussed MoA quite a lot, and I think HoH really speaks for itself with this:

"I can’t see!" She touched her face, looking around wildly. Her eyes were pure white.

[HoH, Ch. XXIX: Percy]

This is all good and cool; it's a sweet callback to both SoM and THe Odyssey, actually centered around Annabeth's own deeds.

"Percy!" Annabeth’s voice cracked. "Why did you leave me?"

[HoH, CH. XXX: Percy]

This isn't inherently bad, per se, but considering Percy's already coping with Bob/Iapetus finding out he's responsible for the memory wipe and didn't tell him, combined with both past and future events in the Tartarus sequence, it's really. . .low, I think.

To have Annabeth's pain still be centered around Percy and her relationship with him (As well, I think, to be equally low for Calypso, who portrayed no visible bitterness in BotL, to curse Annabeth anyway, then add in the pointless feud between Percy and Leo over Calypso in the next book).

This entire scene isn't about Annabeth's abandonment issues, or it would have been in her POV. It's about torturing Percy and furthering the manpain.

And then Blood of Olympus (BoO) happens, neither Percy or Annabeth are meaningfully involved at all, Annabeth has to be rescued multiple times, Percy has to be rescued by the son of Jupiter from Percy's own half-sister in the sea, and Riordan writes Percy and Annabeth's dynamic like they're thirteen years old again and still trying to figure out how to be friends.

So. . .why was Annabeth in the Seven? If the Mark of Athena was purposefully a solo quest with the line of "Wisdom's daughter stands alone" and she gives no meaningful contribution to defeating Gaea in BoO that another demigod handy with a sword could've filled.

If anything, to be frank, she could've seen a much more interesting and meaningful story if Reyna had been in the Seven and Annabeth had accompanied the Athena Parthenos back home with Nico, forcing the Romans to confront their crimes again Athena/Minerva in the form of the statue and the goddess's favored living daughter.

Percy/Annabeth is a fun ship and, to a certain extent, deserves it's large fandom, thanks to the character chemistry and nice canon moments on their own.

But the shoddy writing around Annabeth's personality, trauma, personal story, and Riordan's inability to write mature romantic relationships with fierce partners that don't feature genuine threats of violence issues that need to be acknowledged and critiqued in work.

The misogyny in being incapable of writing a complex, brilliant, and flawed female character without writing abusive tendencies and romanticizing that bullshit is truly breathtaking.

(And yes. I've seen what he's done with Magnus Chase and Alex Fierro)

VII. Fandom Treatment

I figure, as always, it's worth making a note about the two treatments of Annabeth that I've seen in how fandom and fanon treat her because as always, none of us are off the hook:

1. The people who romanticize Percy/Annabeth in its full canon form to within an inch of its life, think Annabeth has done nothing wrong ever, and think the judo flip is the peak of romance. This is the majority of y'all and I can't say I wasn't once one of you and really annoying about it, because we were all young and stupid, but we all have to grow up at some point.

(And listen, listen. If you want ships that aren't necessarily that healthy because you want that fantasy or you want Percy/Annabeth as a not-fully-healthy ship in a fic, I have both suggestions and fully encourage you.

Just tag properly and be aware of what you're writing. Abuse and toxicity are no joke, including and especially if a woman is an abuser)

2. This is much more the minority, but they exist because I've seen y'all on my dash: People who despise Percy/Annabeth because they can't take the shit in canon, which is absolutely more than fair and I love you all, and think that Annabeth, is, well. . .Satan.

Also I swear if I see one more person sexualizing Annabeth by claiming that she's, I dunno, "fucking her way to the top," I will. . .probably block you and get on with my life. Because I am an adult. Despite certain appearances. But still. Stop it.

Annabeth's twelve and that's a goddamn misogynistic trope used in the workplace against women and in media. It's gross.

She's a flawed character. You can dislike her. She's certainly not the most likeable girl in the world.

I think learning to realize and remember that there's always an author behind your favorite character or least favorite character's actions, and that you can disagree with the writing choice (before getting on with your life and leaving the creator the fuck alone), is an important lesson in fandom. Allows for some clear-headedness.

VIII. Conclusions

I gotta be honest: Annabeth's my girl.

At least within the original series, she's coded pretty hard as autistic and actually ADHD, in a way I find intensely relatable. She's smart as hell, not afraid of it, and has a thing for competency. She's so, so brave.

When she's not got the abusive tendencies creeping in, she also fiercely adores her friends, knows how to make her enemies regret it, and doesn't say die. She met the one person in the world who should've been her enemy and decided yes, this is my new friend. I'm going to get hurt again with him.

She's also got abandonment issues, a possessive streak, a desperate need for therapy, and a nasty temper. Again, I. . .well, I relate to a lot of that.

It's buried under a lot of shit, but Annabeth is unapologetically flawed in a way that's refreshing and rare for female characters, still. I latched on hard when I was young and never quite let go.

I wrote this meta because, despite it all, I love Annabeth Chase, I hate what Riordan warps her into, and I hate the indifference she's treated with when Percy's romance with her isn't being furthered.

I. . .I dunno, what I'm trying to convince y'all of, with this meta. I just hope it's coherent, at this point.

"So if the gods fight," I said, "will things line up the way they did with the Trojan War? Will it be Athena versus Poseidon?"

She put her head against the backpack Ares had given us, and closed her eyes. "I don't know what my mom will do. I just know I'll fight next to you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?"

[TLT, Ch. 16: We Take A Zebra To Vegas]

If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, HERE is a link to resources for victims and survivors of domestic violence. It includes a phone number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, National Dating Abuse Hotline, National Child Abuse Hotline, and other relevant resources (If in the USA).

Please, please get the help you need and deserve.

[thejudgingtrash]

Can you explain to me how Rachel was annoying in the series?

Well, I’ll try to keep myself short for this one (lol no, this took an hour to write). Also, let’s not forget that they’re all kids, but I’m basing this off from when I read the series as a fourteen year old because my opinions haven’t changed much (for better or for worse).

I’m not the biggest fan of Rachel. I have to admit that portrayals of her by Simi, Kit, Logan, Apollo and all the others helped to shape her into something cooler than what she had been in my foggy memories but I actually went back to take a look in the books (well, TTC + BOTL so far) to refreshen my mind about events that have happened.

Also, you should browse through @blackjacktheboss's blog as she’s a) hilarious and b) says whatever I say in like a single sentence lol. But your ask is about me and my opinions so here we go:

What I didn’t like about Rachel was that she’s rude and bold (DON’T GET ME WRONG, I love that in female characters!!!), but she doesn’t have Annabeth’s excuse of survival of the fittest (literally running off as a traumatized seven year old) and introducing us into the world of the Riordanverse.

Percy was on his way, had shit to deal with and Rachel pretty much interrupted him from the get-go and thought getting her answers was more important than letting Percy just rush forward. Yes, this is Rachel’s entrance into the series and the net Riordan threw into the sea, to make us little fish adapt to her. But it still didn’t sit right with me, probably because I would never interact that way.

I get why she did that, but it’s the way how she did it that’s just making me go ???

Even if I was seeing weird things, I wouldn’t set out to distract/interrupt someone who is incredibly busy to get my way. Rachel’s dick move seems like a Karen boomer type of thing to pull off, but guess that’s up to you.

If I were her, I’d either film/try to photograph the monsters via phone (if that’s possible) or internet stalk enough to find the other person (note: despite Riordan’s stupid rule of not being able to use phones, demigods still can use computers/the internet, I guess). Percy was national news like a year or two ago in the timeline, so it shouldn’t be that difficult to find more stuff out about him, even in like 2008 or so. Let him have a spot on Perez Hilton's shitty gossip blog, for the OGs reading this.

Annabeth was used as a tool of exposition to introduce us to CHB, the demigod life and how things roll around there. She barged into Percy’s mission as a nuisance first but a necessity second in TLT.

However, in comparison to Rachel, Annabeth was transformed into a fully-fledged protagonist within a span of a chapter or two. Rachel needed another separate book after her first appearance, so we don’t just know Annabeth better, we know that she’s an important constant throughout the story as of Rachel seems… almost random? Is she truly necessary as a character?

This doesn’t come from a shipper perspective, this is coming from a character design perspective and adds to the feeling that the way she has been introduced to me as a reader just seems off.

Yes, BOTL makes sense with her as a reborn Ariadne, but technically Sally could’ve done the job as she’s a clear-sighted mortal as well lol. Then again, Sally is an adult, went to college, had a job, was unfortunately probably working it up with Paul, did the cha cha slide with him and had overall better shit to do.

Then Rachel as the oracle, which is just super weird in general. Wasn’t Apollo himself responsible for issuing prophecies in the OG myths? Or did he both, have the oracle of Delphi as his spokesperson and issue important stuff to Team Olympus? Am I mixing things up? I’m getting sidetracked, my bad.

Either way, this oracle gig might be the only time I’d say Rachel might be important in the future (badum tzz), but Riordan fumbled the bag in the follow ups series so there’s that. Did she even appear in HOO? Can’t remember and also don’t care.

Rachel is used as one out of three choices in regard to his love life that Percy can make. Calypso literally got introduced into BOTL and was admittedly Percy’s biggest what if… But the general gist doesn’t sit right with me. We have three possible routes with Percy and the others:

Rachel: somewhat normality in the mortal realm

Annabeth: the danger and thrill of the demigod life

Calypso: ambrosia and nectar. a hint of immortality

(On one hand, literally why but on the other hand, mad props for Percy who has literally three romantic leads in the same book.) I’d cancel one of them at least out and since Annabeth isn’t going anywhere, I’m taking Rachel. Sally could literally been Percy’s anchor to a normal mortal life as she had intended until it didn’t work out anymore when he became twelve and his monster alerting scent grew stronger.

Calypso and Annabeth would’ve been the perfect opposites where each of them had a strong case. The demigod life within the realms or mortal or the demigod life ascending to Olympus/immortality. Sounds cooler and is way simpler. Three people is way too much, this truly feels like a shonen anime harem thing and it’s defo not my cup of tea (and while some Annabeth sideships aren’t my thing (Lukabeth go cry in the corner, no one likes you, WTF, Connabeth you fugly), it’s super unfair that Annabeth solely has Percy (fuck off Luke) to rely on in regards of romantic endeavors).

Rachel almost feels redundant? The option to walk away from all of that… which isn’t really true as Rachel really tries to push and insert herself into the story the very first time we meet her? But that’s just me, I’m certain that others are saying they’d kill off Annabeth or kick Calypso (I mean yeah) into the curb.

Big ALSO:

Why does Percy need another white and uber-rich love interest?

I semi-joked on Dez’ post (@sawasawako) with this response about Annabeth needing to keep up with powerful Rachel, but the core still stands.

We already have an affluent Annabeth (granted, we don’t know exactly how the Chase’s riches are divided, whereas it’s clear that Rachel can just make anyone drop dead by saying who she is. Annabeth needed that weird lotus casino credit card to make that happen, so Miss Harvard Legacy doesn’t wield that Dare schmoney. Also don’t think Annabeth can just up papa’s money and go…? Idk).

Why do we need another person needing to upstage this?

Like Rachel has to triumph in regards to standard and prestige as if it were a badly written Jane Austen AU. For what reason…? Why not make Percy friends and acquaintances with someone who comes from a normal household for once, not super rich brats (Piper, Annabeth, Rachel, technically the Graces with their TV starlet mother amongst others).

Moreover…

Important question: why should Percy actually be impressed/attracted to that? He’s dirt poor and has been sent to (boarding) schools filled with stupid rich people since he’s been twelve, probably even younger than that. As if that’s the very first thing Percy would look out for or be wowed or something. He’s used to rich douchebags. I think he’s more surprised that someone used their money for his benefit for once and not to crash daddy’s new Mercedes again.

Like seriously… Rachel did that weird art project thing in BOTL with her covered in gold and posing like it’s a super normal thing to do? Even for rich snobbish kids standards? That sounds weird to me. I don’t know, maybe Riordan’s been streaming the new Gossip Girl reboot on HBO Max on repeat and thought this girl is on fiyah (performed by Alicia Keys).

Rachel trying to separate herself from her money just comes off as super hypocritical when she’s using the very same funds to finance her lifestyle. I get it, trying to make amends and make a difference with the damage you have done but... your father still doesn't give a shit about the environment or YOU, sweetie. Kick him in the balls for once! Then you can go out about your art projects.

The concept of Percy having friends in the mortal realm is cool, but why does Rachel almost have to compete with Annabeth with her wealth and art stuff?

No seriously, the comparisons are constantly there, out and about. Roaming freely on the finest grass, needing to be feed delicious locally sourced carrots and stuff.

Annabeth is Athena’s kid. Athena is the goddess of wisdom, weaving, justice, warfare yada yada and arts and crafts. So definitely something which would affect Rachel, right (someone write that Athena messing with Rachel because she can AU and tag me please!)?

Annabeth wants to become an architect which translates to fancy building designer who is driving engineers like Leonardo Eugenio Valdez Cortes insane irl because the maths and physics don't work like that in the working field trust me I'm an engineer, which could/should be considered an art form.

They even shared some common ground while talking about architecture and design in BOTL!

Furthermore, they both share broken homes with absent parents (granted that all demigods go through that). Wealthy families at that as well. Shitty fathers that don’t care about their daughters well-being. Rachel however, is super powerful and influential in an unseen level in the mortal world. She isn’t like Matt Sloan (?) who truly messes up by destroying shit to get his father's attention, but she’s still in that circle and can easily demonstrate that. Making deals with her father and what not. We rarely see Annabeth doing that. Did y’all forget the fucking helicopter Rachel brought along in TLO?

Pan saying Rachel is just as important as her father has multiple meanings to me…

(Sidenote: I do think it’s hilarious that Annabeth is jealous/annoyed of Rachel that her remarks were she’s cute right and Percy went??? Or when Tyson said Rachel’s pretty? Or that time when Annabeth actually defended Luke and his weird behavior (because Kronos was slowly taking over, don’t forget that kids!), because f that rich artist nepotism kid that Rachel seems to be, right?)

Another note: Percy thinks Rachel is annoying in BOTL for a while and it took a while for him to admit that and he spent way more time being annoyed/jealous (for once, Lordy) at Luke for him to even notice lol.

I guess it’s really hard for me to exactly pinpoint what’s bothering me. I believe Rachel's persona just doesn’t seem to hit right, because it feels like a knock-off Annabeth who just simply isn’t a demigod, yet has two cool powers, but in even richer who still needs to be part of the story for exactly what reason?

The jumping around from the richest in the series to the poorest in the series is kinda bothering me as if the middle class doesn’t exist, like I’ve stated earlier. Why didn’t Riordan mix it up with Rachel, giving her more nuance the minute they met, not towards the end? Have her be Percy’s platonic friend from the get go. No weird oh wait she is kinda cute in the middle bullshit.

This kinda drifted more into a Perachel vs Percabeth essay, which really wasn’t my intention. Don’t worry kids, I’m criticizing Annabeth (and her stans) enough already.

And I do think that others in the fandom have softened my views on Rachel as a person like I’ve stated in the beginning. So friendship!Perachel is popping! But I do think that there are some valid points that I’ve made.

Also not gonna lie, Rachel issuing the new prophecy in TLO kinda dampened the end of PJO series but that’s more Riordan’s fault than hers.

TLDR: I’m just not a huge fan of this overbearing, uber-rich, excessively flaunting being that Rachel sometimes displays. She’s flawed, she’s broken at times, has a semi-interesting background story (although it has been done over and over again throughout the series and should be changed up for once) which is great, but it is still annoying.

We don’t need an anti-Annabeth who feels like a weird caricature of the real Annabeth.

Also if this seems super incoherent, repetitive, or whatever, I'm sorry, massive headaches + mental health going down the goo lagoon does this to ya, I hope I made somewhat sense!

[chironshorseass]

idk if you’re still taking prompts but 7 angst for percabeth after BoTL but before tlo, thank you so much!!

idk what this is, but hopefully, it’s not too horrible bc I can’t bring myself to read it again lol.

“You should’ve said that yesterday.”

tw: blood

read on ao3

Plans don’t always go well. Annabeth should know; she’s a daughter of Athena. But one holds on to hope like it’s the last thing they have, even when accidents happen.

It was a frequent thing nowadays, for demigods to leave on missions as a desperate attempt to thwart off the titan forces. Annabeth understood the risks.

Percy did too, but he’d insisted that it was fine, that he needed to go.

He’d left with some Hephaestus and Hermes kids, intending to raid one of Kronos’ troops that had camped close to New York.

They hadn’t counted on the empousai, though. And because of this, most of the boys—including Percy—had nearly died.

But what else was new?

The thing was that...he didn't have to go. But he and Beckendorf had grown closer over the past year, so nothing could stop him from tagging along with the son of Hephaestus and the rest of the group. Maybe because he also felt bad that he’d missed out on most of the missions; he’d been absent for so long, lost in the streets of New York City.

Whatever the stupid reason was, he’d refused to listen to Annabeth, disappearing into the horizon with Blackjack and the rest of the pegasi.

He’ll survive, she’d told herself. If he really was the child of the prophecy, then…

This mission wouldn’t be the last thing he did. Or his last day on Earth. That title would likely belong to his birthday.

Gods, he’s going to die anyway.

But for now, he wouldn’t, at least not according to what she’d heard.

Thanatos would bide his time, hooded and standing at the doors between life and death, not yet ready to welcome Percy with his chilled breath.

Soon, but not today.

Still, it wasn’t like she’d been worried sick and then nearly threw up her lunch once the crew had arrived, a few yards away from the infirmary, bloodstained and battle-torn.

By all the extra load on the pegasi that she could make out from the distance, she supposed that at least they’d been successful.

Percy, however, was leaking blood down his neck, furtively trying to clamp it down with a bandana.

Soon, but not today.

He leaned against Beckendorf, his eyes baring clouds, fogged and lost. The son of Hephaestus helped him off of Blackjack, but still, he would’ve crumpled to the ground had it not been for Annabeth running to him like a madwoman. The grass crunched behind her; the others were right on her heels.

“What happened?” she cried, grabbing hold of Percy’s shoulders as his head slumped against her chest. She staggered back from his sudden weight, then righted herself.

“Hey, ‘Beth,” Percy said weakly, the words jumbling together against his lips and her shirt.

She looked at Beckendorf helplessly.

“Empousai,” he gasped, then made a hissing sound, pressing a hand to his back. It came back crimson red.

“You’re hurt!” she said as if it weren’t obvious.

Other demigods, Apollo kids mostly, rushed past her with medical supplies. But Will stopped next to them, breathing hard. He handed out ambrosia to Beckendorf and Annabeth’s waiting hands.

His eyes blazed, focused on something past her head. He waved frantically at someone, signaling them to come, and quickly. She whirled around and caught sight of Chiron trotting toward them.

“I’ll be back,” he breathed, giving them a nod as though they’d argued with him against it. He retreated a few steps, legs reacting to sudden howls of pain that echoed further back. “Just, just wait here. I’ll just…”

He dashed away, lost in the mass of pegasi and bodies that moved in all directions, shouting. In the chaos, Will was their only help at organizing it all—but she’d still tasted bile in her throat, not quite used to the way he ignored Percy and his mortal wound to the neck.

In a swift, mastered movement, Annabeth had made him chew on the Ambrosia. She’d been about to say something else—some words of encouragement—when a blur of curly brown hair nearly tripped her and Percy over. She readjusted him in her arms; Percy mumbled something incomprehensible, making her heart tighten.

“Charlie!” Silena called, flinging herself into Beckendorf’s arms.

He grunted in response but smiled through his obvious pain.

“Hey, baby,” he said.

She kissed him, but only for a second because Beckendorf had already pulled away faster than her sudden arrival.

Silena scrunched up her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?”

His concerned gaze leached into Percy, whom Annabeth could barely hold now.

Has he always been this heavy?

She followed her boyfriend’s line of vision and saw her friend standing in front of her for the first time. Her face morphed into shock, eyes widening. In a flash, Silena was there, hauling one of Percy’s arms over her shoulder. He was no longer conscious.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, the words tumbling into the pool that was now Annabeth’s fevered heart. “I didn’t...”

Annabeth could only shake her head. She had to get Percy some actual help. She pressed the cloth harder into his neck. It had to be the fucking neck.

“Will!” she shouted, voice hoarse. “Chiron!”

Panting, Beckendorf closed the distance, limping over to Annabeth. “I’m going to help the others. We weren’t so lucky on our mission, and...” He glanced somewhere past them. “Chiron’s coming our way. We have to—”

Silena inhaled sharply. “You’re bleeding, too? Why didn’t—”

“No time, ‘Lena.”

In an instant, Chiron was there, extending his arms out.

“Give him to me.” His voice was firm and urgent.

After all, the neck was a highly vulnerable place. A slit to the throat could end someone’s life in a matter of seconds. Percy was a demigod, and likely the cut hadn’t been too deep, or else he’d be dead by now. But still, she didn't know how much longer he could hold up.

Already she’d felt the tell-tale warmth of blood trickling into her skin, already she’d envisioned the life draining out of him. The sand of an hourglass raining, spilling down to the bottom.

;

They’d told her that he’d lost too much blood, that the claw wound had just barely hit an artery. But above all else, he was lucky. He’d survive.

She’d been there, hands washed clean from the rusted blood, sitting on his bedside in the infirmary and watching him sleep while her mind was wide awake. Will came and went, wrapping bandages and giving him fresh doses of ambrosia; Chiron did, too—as if none of this was his fault and he could pretend to care for injured demigods.

But she stayed. Stayed and watched.

Annabeth had forgotten how long she’d been there, staring at the blank walls, eyes unfocused. Will had poked his head inside for the final time and insisted for her to get some sleep; it was late. She’d shaken her head and refused.

Her eyes closed for a second, though it must’ve been longer than that, because, when she opened them again, golden light had already streamed through the window. It cast delicate shadows across the room. In her daze, she hadn’t realized that someone was calling her name, light as a butterfly.

Percy.

“Annabeth,” he repeated.

She blinked the sleep away to find a pair of green eyes watching her.

Though his hair was twisted and knotted, and his complexion was a worrying shade lighter, Annabeth thought that she’d never seen a more inviting sight.

“You asshole!” she gasped, lunging forwards with desperate fingers, hugging Percy tighter than she’d ever had in her life.

After a while, his head dropped back to the pillow to get a better look at her.

“Hey.” He grinned lazily.

There was a sweet wonder to his face—like he couldn’t believe she was here, waiting for him to wake up.

But her mind flashed to when his heartbeat had weakened, when scarlet red covered her shaking hands and she’d seen him slump into Chiron as their teacher dropped him here, in the infirmary.

“D’you have any idea how fucking worried I was?”

His brows knit in confusion. “What do you…” A hand flew to his neck, to his bandages. “Oh. That.”

“Yeah.” Her voice felt like rough sandpaper. “That.”

Percy winced. “Okay, okay. I can explain; that demon came out of nowhere, right? And I slashed and shit, but she still got me, and—”

“You could’ve died, Percy. You get that?”

“I know, I know! But I didn’t!”

She took a rattling breath and looked away. She suddenly felt faint; her lungs didn’t seem to gather enough oxygen. Everything was too overwhelming, too big and small all at the same time.

She was dimly aware of Percy saying something. Then, she felt the warmth of her hand in his. It helped bring her back, but barely.

“Hey. Hey, look at me, Annabeth. Look at me.” Reluctantly, she did as he said. “Breathe with me. C'mon—in two three four, out two three four...”

Annabeth didn’t know how long they stayed that way, anchored to the surety of Percy’s grip on her hand and breathing along to his rhythm, until she’d found a way back to her bearings.

“You’re okay. I’m okay,” he said, repeatedly.

She nodded.

“Talk to me.”

Here he was, the boy who had nearly died, consoling the girl who’d watched the whole thing.

She nodded again, and this time, she closed her eyes, taking in some of this new peace of mind Percy had offered.

He was safe, and they were alright.

Finally, she exhaled.

“How’re you feeling?” She bit her lip, remembering something, and then muttered, “Sorry. Didn’t really ask you that first.”

“S’okay.” Now that she noticed him, truly noticed him, she could tell how tired he was. “I’m fine. Just feel like mush.”

“Your neck doesn’t hurt? Will gave you some morphine.”

“Yeah, no. Everything’s kinda numb, I guess. Doesn’t hurt or anything.”

“You lost a lot of blood.”

“Hmm. Probably why I feel like mush.”

She felt a lump forming in her throat. Not for the first time that day.

“It wasn’t—Gods, Perce,” she murmured, not meeting his eyes.  “If you’d only seen it…”

“I know. I should’ve listened to you.”

“You should’ve said that yesterday.”

Annabeth didn’t realize that she was crying until Percy softly flicked his thumb across her cheek. He reluctantly moved it down to her lips, swiping at the tears that had already pooled there.

It wasn’t really something she planned to do, and in any other case would’ve embarrassed her, but she found herself resting her forehead against his. Maybe to steady herself. Maybe to feel his presence more, a spare hand combing through his locks.

She wasn’t so sure.

But still, she let herself close her eyes, enjoying this moment of quiet. Percy did too, sighing softly, rubbing her back idly.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, when they separated. “M’here.”

Her breath caught in her throat, just by how tender his touch had been, taking care of her when he was the injured one. How close they were at that moment. How her tears tasted like that time she’d kissed him, all salt and sweat and fervor.

Now, she was able to see the little flecks of blue in his irises, drink in all of his details like she was dying of thirst. They were so close that she was able to feel exactly when his breath hitched like hers had done just milliseconds before, how it smelled like medicine and chocolate cookies all in one.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, not taking his gaze from her. “I didn’t listen to you.”

At least he acknowledged it. Again.

“No. You didn’t.”

His thumb still lingered on her face, a ray of sunlight that she greedily took only for herself, leaning into him. It ghosted around her skin, that trailing touch of his. And despite its warmth, it sent shivers down her spine.

His eyes never left hers. Roving, feeling down to her very soul.

He’d always been the one to break her walls, destroy the dam she’d carefully built for as long as she could remember. Poseidon wasn’t his father for nothing.

And as he grasped a stray curl that fell across her left eye, tucking it ever so gently behind her ear, she felt that water roaring all over her mind. The flood happened too fast, consuming every last restraint and denial that crossed its path.

Annabeth didn’t catch it until she risked a glance to his lips.

Gods, he’s so close. Too close.

In the blink of an eye, she was leaning in, intoxicated by everything about him. Percy caught the back of her jaw with his hand, guiding her closer.

Their breaths mingled together.

Her lips parted. Closer…

“Hey, how’s—oh shit, sorry!”

She repelled from him, electrified, and whipped her head to the screeching of the curtain rod.

Cheeks flushed, Will yanked at the curtains, closing them once again.

“Wait!” Annabeth glanced at Percy, whose eyes were wide. “Will, this isn’t—”

The latter hollered from the other side, “I can come later! To, um, change bandages! Be good!”

So close.

She wanted to slap herself.

No.

This wasn’t right. For a second, she’d forgotten what was at stake. Let herself be swept away.

Have you ever considered that he’s going to die?

He’ll leave you just like everyone else.

This was dangerous, letting herself taste what wasn’t meant to be.

“I—I’m sorry,” she gasped, standing up, an unknown force pushing her back.

Percy blinked, slower than usual. Probably from all the ambrosia and nectar and mortal medicine.

“Annabeth—”

He reached for her, but she was already backing away into the wall, stumbling over her wooden chair.

“No, I shouldn’t have…” She felt herself blush. “I don’t know, I...I should go.”

She scrambled towards the curtains, ignoring Percy’s expression awashed in hurt and shock.

Brushing past his bedside, he grabbed her arm.

“Please,” he begged, voice barely above a whisper. “Please stay.”

Blinking away her tears, Annabeth forced herself to look at him.

If I stay, you’ll leave me first.

But she didn’t say that, only shook her head and watched as those beautiful eyes of his creased around the corners with anguish. A part of her died a little at witnessing this. His was a heart worn on a sleeve that would soon fade away. She pulled her arm away, burned from his grip.

“‘Beth—”

“I’m sorry.” She swallowed, already tugging the curtain aside. “I’ll call Will.”

And she left him there in his injury, allowing it to be.

He didn’t deserve this, she knew. Not when she could enjoy the last moments with him, admitting what was in the open air between them. But they’d be one step into their ruined fate if that ever happened. If she didn’t stop.

Because she was like Tantalus, that lone fruit forever out of her reach.

He didn’t deserve this, but she didn’t deserve to have him, either.

[crossdressingdeath]

#op im in love with you for this#me and a friend were talking one time also about how it highlights the difference of their characters-#percy goes for the bandaid solution as it were#minor gods and their kids rebelling because they feel unwelcome? uhhhhh give them a place at camp 👍#its not a bad solution but its not addressing the core problem#and as you discussed it doesnt actually make him have to do anything#percy is going for an efficient solution#and its not a bad one but it also shows his tendency to say ‘how do i make this not a problem for me and mine’ rather than#jason’s solution. which is much more focused on ‘how can i help the injured parties. how can i do the most good with the least harm’#he wants to tear out the issue at its roots so it can’t hurt anyone anymore#and he’s more than willing to put in the work himself even if it doesnt benefit him directly#which i think is a really neat contrast of their characters (tags via @dumbass-prince-of-the-skies)

I think a large part of the difference between the two responses is the question of fairness and how they respond to that. It's not fair that this is falling on Percy and Jason! They shouldn't have to deal with the gods fucking everything up! And Percy especially is constantly making it clear in his dialogue and narration that he knows it's unfair that he has to clean up the gods' messes all the time and he hates that he has to do it. Which to be clear is not an unreasonable position to take, it is absolutely unfair that he's having to deal with so much shit. But I think there is an element in TLO where he makes the gods promise to claim their children and make room for the minor gods at camp because... it's not fair that he has to deal with it, so he's putting the onus on them. Which would be very good if not for the fact that the gods don't give a shit and break promises on the Styx on a regular basis (which I feel like I have to say again Percy as the result of a broken oath on the Styx should be very aware of). I suspect there's also an element of Percy conflating his own personal feelings about Camp Half-Blood—those being that it's the best place ever and every young demigod probably wants to belong there—with what the minor gods really care about, so he's not considering what their actual beef is because he's so fixated on the symptom of said beef that is their kids not being welcome at camp, but that's a separate thing.

Jason, meanwhile, doesn't seem to really... care whether it's fair or not. That's not a concern he has. It doesn't matter if it's fair that he has to deal with the gods' shit; the shit has to be dealt with, and the gods sure as hell aren't going to do it. He doesn't get caught up in the question of whose responsibility fixing this actually is because fussing about blame isn't going to fix anything. Now, Jason's willingness to sacrifice himself for the greater good probably isn't entirely healthy, being in the legion from the age of two didn't do good things for his mental health, but in this case it's absolutely a good thing for the world as a whole. After all, if he's not focused on who should solve the problem he can focus more on who can. Which in this case is him. It's his willingness to step up and take responsibility for a situation that is in no way his fault, doing everything in his power to fix it so that it can't hurt anyone else, that sets his solution apart from Percy's solution of shoving the responsibility back onto the people whose fault it is and just expecting one promise will be enough to make them fix it. Percy wants to protect his immediate group from the immediate consequences of the situation, while Jason wants to protect everyone he can from as many consequences of the situation as he can regardless of what it costs him personally.

A thing I find really interesting: in the Riordanverse so far we've seen two sixteen-year-old children of the Big Three have to face the question of how to deal with the issue of the minor gods rebelling due to feeling abandoned, disrespected, neglected and otherwise unwelcome. First Percy at the end of PJO when he makes the gods swear to give the minor gods a place at camp, then Jason in BoO when he and Percy fight Kym and Polybotes. And the different ways they respond to that says a lot about I think both them and the way they've been trained.

Percy's solution is... actually surprisingly naive, if you think about it. I mean, first off he basically just assumes that an oath on the Styx will hold the gods to their word. He of all people should know that that's not true; he's the result of a broken oath on the Styx, after all. And we know from Piper and Leo—who are both past the age of thirteen and not Roman demigods, but still haven't been claimed or brought to camp even though according to the oath they should have been—that... yeah, the gods broke that oath basically immediately. Surprise surprise, the gods suck. And no one likes being forced to make a promise against their will, even when it's a promise that is basically "do the bare minimum as a parent and don't be dicks to people who've proved they'll turn on you if you do that". But aside from that, Percy's reasoning seems to have basically been "make the gods give the minor gods a place at camp = profit", which... yeah, that's the sort of reasoning I'd expect from a teenager whose leadership experience mostly boils down to sometimes making solo decisions during quests. I've mentioned before that Percy doesn't tend to think in terms of long-term planning and specializes in getting what he wants in the immediate short term, and it's the same here: he's focusing on an immediate problem (all the unclaimed kids at camp, some of whom are the kids of minor gods), and forgetting about or just not noticing the larger issue (the minor gods switch sides not because of their children not getting recognized but because they feel neglected because no one worships them anymore and the major gods don't care).

To be clear, those unclaimed kids are a problem and dealing with them is a good and very decent move. Percy turning down personal gain in favour of doing his best to ensure improvements for all those kids in the Hermes cabin growing angrier and more resentful with every day they go unclaimed is a very good thing, we love to see it. But it's treating a symptom, not the underlying cause of the issues that caused so many minor gods to turn on Olympus, and so would only ever have been a stopgap even without Gaea rising. And Percy didn't have any further plans to deal with the problems outside of this one aspect; he actually seems genuinely surprised to learn that the deal he made didn't solve the problem and in fact didn't even ensure that all the minor gods were recognized. Percy's solution also relies on the gods; as we see, there's no plan in place for if the gods fuck up or fail to keep their promise! The gods failed to do anything for Kym, and there was nothing in place to even check on that because the plan was just "force the gods to promise to do the thing" (and how do you hold gods who can smite you if you annoy them accountable for their fuckups, anyway?). The whole thing is reliant on the gods not breaking their oath, when again Percy especially should know they aren't great at that.

Jason, meanwhile, has a much more solid understanding of the overarching issue causing the minor gods to keep turning on Olympus and has a plan to combat it. Why do the minor gods keep turning on Olympus? They feel disrespected. Why do they feel disrespected? They aren't being worshipped. What's the best way to ensure they get worshipped? Build shrines and educate demigods about them. What's the best way to do that? Well... just go around both camps and see it done yourself. There's no reliance on the gods, because the gods aren't involved! Jason intends to handle this personally, and we see in ToA that he puts a lot of effort into it. And it makes sense that Jason is focusing on an actionable plan that he can keep an eye on personally, because he has years of leadership experience as a praetor of Camp Jupiter. He must be more than used to having to handle situations where two groups who should be on the same side are in conflict for one reason or another, so he knows how to figure out a solution and how to keep an eye on the implementation of that solution in a way Percy wouldn't. It also makes sense that he has more of an understanding that the issue of the minor gods not getting any respect isn't going to be solved as easily as just making the major gods promise to play nice; first off he again is used to leadership and mediation and nothing is ever that easy, and second he came from the Fifth Cohort, which is still mocked even though the much-vaunted son of Jupiter rose from their ranks.

And I think a lot of the difference in how these two approach this particular problem comes from how the two camps treat young demigods? While in both camps the kids end up doing most of the work, in Camp Half-Blood Mr. D and Chiron are in charge. They're the ones who call for quests and decide activities, people have to run decisions by them. And quests tend to be more team projects; one person is the leader, but the quests we see usually feature the quest-goers working together to make decisions and plan their next move rather than having one person in charge. Percy's not good at coming up with a solid, long-term game plan because that's never been his responsibility. Not to mention that the Greek gods interfere in things constantly, so poking them and saying "Hey, you owe me, fix this nonsense" is often a valid strategy. Meanwhile at Camp Jupiter they cut out the middleman and put the kids in charge from the start, seeing as they're going to be doing all the work anyway. So Jason knows how to plan for the future, because... well, that's been his job for some time, of course he knows that. He wouldn't have gotten far as a praetor if he didn't. Both camps absolutely traumatize the fuck out of their campers, but hey, at least at Camp Jupiter you might get leadership skills out of it! And also the Roman gods are more hands-off, so it makes sense Jason wouldn't put this whole mess in their hands. Especially since he now also has Percy's example to tell him that won't work at all. Basically Percy holds a position of respect and some level of power at Camp Half-Blood because he's one of their best fighters and not bad as a battlefield commander, but he's not a leader the way Jason is, which is likely part of the reason why he's so quick to give up the praetorship when Jason gets to Camp Jupiter in MoA. Jason is a leader, meanwhile, because he's had years of experience in that role and is used to handling it even if it wouldn't have been his choice. Both of them care about the people around them and want to do right by them, but Percy only does so as a friend; Jason does as a friend too, but also as someone used to being in a position of meaningful authority over the group and so in a position where they have a very real and concrete responsibility to the group in a way that someone who's just a friend doesn't. You can also see this in things like how when Nico says he isn't welcome at camp Percy's response is basically "Yyyyyyyyyyyeah, that sucks, huh" while Jason's response is to try to make him feel welcome. Percy feels bad about it but wouldn't know what to do about the problem even if he tried, while Jason's probably used to helping people who don't fit in find a place where they belong as part of his job and would do his best to do so here even if he didn't care about Nico on a personal level. I don't know, it's just a really interesting difference between them and I wish the books had gone more into the difference between authority born from Being Strong and authority born from being in a position of concrete leadership as decided by the group (although unless I'm misremembering there are a couple points where it's pointed out that Annabeth is really much more Jason's counterpart on the Greek side than Percy is, and I love that, it's very true, Percy is not the one in charge, that is absolutely Annabeth) instead of just Percy and Jason calling each other "bro" all the time and having the occasional Big Three squabble.

[frogsfordays]

To the person who put a really long message in my thing, I’m so sorry I can’t remember your name and for some reason it wouldn’t let me respond to you on there, but I definitely agree from what I recall of the message. (it deleted itself when I tried to do something to it.) If you message me again I can tag you in this.

I think some of the stuff is likely an issue of writing and changes which sort of confuses the character.

Yeah, I also get Percy being scared of Nico, I mean he does have spooky powers, but so does Percy, which he obviously reveals in HoO properly, but even during the first series he can cause earthquakes as you said, but also manipulation of water can be super dangerous. So being scared of Nico’s powers while makes sense also kind of doesn’t but that’s only because of Percy’s not thinking about it.

Also, if he’s scared of his powers, surely getting someone on side would work better for the powers not to be used against you? Like if he thought about it for a second... I don’t know.

You said about Pan not talking to Nico, and I honestly don’t understand why he didn’t. You’re probably right about that influencing Percy’s decision. It is evident from the first series, Percy judges the gods as good and bad very quickly, for example he says Ethan Nakamura shouldn’t be respected because his Mom is Nemesis (in TLO). I assume he then slots Hades into that category even though Hades is god of the underworld, not god of the dead etc...

In the series they talk a lot about children of Hades being hated and having unhappy lives etc... (exclude the historical figures that are terrible that for some reason Rick made sons of Hades, I feel like he definitely shouldn’t have done that) but yeah the fictional ones have unhappy lives, and tend to turn against people, but it’s also clear for years they’re ostracized, turned against and hated. I feel like enough of that would make anyone upset, and make them not super helpful to others.

I think Percy should have been better to Nico, even if he was scared, as surely helping someone whose powers scare you, would mean they wouldn’t use them against you? He’s already seen that the dead manipulate sometimes for their own desires (Minos), doesn’t that worry him that Nico could be manipulated again?

God this has gone on longer than I was going to.

Basically, Nico being at camp would have been better for everyone involved, even if they were scared of him. Instead, they were scared of an eleven year old, sent him to live on the streets where he was starving and having mental health issues. (you mentioned the bit about his eyes looking slightly scary, which he didn’t have before being on the streets evidenced by not being mentioned at all during TTC. I think he probably ended up like that out of desperation. Being homeless is horrific, and Nico’s eleven years old and very very alone. He probably looks super intense and stuff because of desperation, grief and complete isolation. We know from this past year that isolation can have a super bad impact on mental health, though we knew it before, but yeah.)

I’m going to end this here, as I’ve just woken up so some of this probably just rabble.

[thelightiningthief]

i know it’s been said and done a million times, but wi// and nico’s relationship dynamic is written so oddly to me? i get rick is going for the whole “you annoy me but 😍” trope that he usually sticks to, but imo it comes off so forced and out of character here—for nico at least, since we haven’t had a huge taste of wi//‘s character outside of the medic role he had in tlo (which is a WHOLE other thing). like...nico just doesn’t seem like the type to jump right in the way he does with wi//! sure, he forms attachments pretty easily (case in point: percy), but i don’t feel that from their interactions. it feels more like “they’re going to be bickering left and right for no reason, almost getting themselves killed in the process—also wi// is essentially nico’s mom when he’s caring for him,” which i don’t...enjoy. also? uhhh wi//‘s randomly thrown into this story? out of basically nowhere? no offense but i literally hadn’t thought about wi// s0lace in like 20 years before boo. then he’s all buttered up and ready to go in the nico pov? sorry :/ thass poor characterization luv 😘 and i haven’t read past boo at this point (i’m catching up rn), but i’m fairly certain that rick doesn’t take the time to show how their relationship developed—they’re just IN one at some point?? tbh that doesn’t sit well with me; don’t Tell me they’re in a relationship, Show me! show me their build up and tension and friendship! give me frustration and disagreements and care for one another! i know that nico being gay was a huge revelation and was something we all needed at the ripe age(s) of 11-14, but reading boo displayed to me how rick essentially wished to appease the audience by throwing nico into a relationship with the closest twunk he could find :/ he didn’t take the time he did with percabeth, or even jasiper! he was honestly probably going for nico finally accepting himself and everyone else accepting him as well, but in terms of interpretation, authorial intent means nothing! in my opinion, nico should have stayed single and found acceptance through his already established friendships (jason, someone who’s been there for him through his forced confession and slowly became his friend; hazel, his sister who loves him so dearly and would accept him no matter what—even her possible biases due to being from a different time period; literally. any of the seven?? i’m not mentioning reyna or coach hedge since he essentially told them through the bryce lawrence incident, which kinda bothered me, but i’m not getting into that!). the idea of him doing this with a rando or even by himself defeats the purpose of his journey towards acceptance, because he’s run away from everyone and everything that may have helped him sooner, and to be fair jason...literally started this process already lol! he would reassure and talk to nico in a way that wasn’t condescending or forcing, moreso he was determined and simply stating facts to him in a respectful way. not to beat a dead horse, but jason grace really did say nico rights! that was a build up of weary trust, turned to respect, turned to friendship! i personally don’t, but if you ship so/ange/o, then you should see jason and nico got the development wi// and nico lack.

as a disclaimer, i’m not trying to bash your ship or anything—which is the main reason i censored wi// and so/ange/o. if i need to tag something else to where you don’t see it, just lmk and i’ll do it!

[ajabsusbjsbsbanns]

Warning for some mentions of sexual intimacy and also somewhat cp?.. the intimacy is not explicit by any means. however i go into detail on why their art is bad so just keep this in mind.

please consider reading this whole thing before jumping to a conclusion

(and im aware the screenshots above are somewhat out of context. this was going to be short but it isnt now)

hey! a deviantart user by the name of foxdragonlover drew nsfw art of spyro and cynder. there was some backlash and they had this to say. i really dont have nearly enough energy to read through this fucking novel of a post but i skimmed it. now please pay attanetion to these parts of the post.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal!I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

what theyre saying i that as long as they fleshed out the characters and dont just see them as moving pixels on a screen they have a right to draw porn of it because it’s “development”.

now please keep in mind that it has been said spyro in the original games is 12 years old. 

now although this doesnt tell us much. spyro is a child. he looks nothing like the other dragons in the game. hes closer in looks to the baby dragons in YotD that any of the elders. not to mention his voice is that of a child-teen. now yes. i understand that this is the original games.

“what about TLOS series you moron” you cry.

fear not. i have done some research on that as well.

in the first game of the legend of spyro series spyro is roughly 12 years old.

the wendy promotional toy that was released when the game was first out comes with a small tag that gives some insite into the characters of the TLOS series. 

now feel free to accuse me of editing these pictures. but you’ll see here that they are in fact real.

so what does this tell us? well.. not much i guess. however im not stopping here.

“yea yea spyro is 12. but stupid! he’s only 12 in the first game!”

alright. sure! youre correct in that spyro is 12 for the first game. however he is also twelve for the second. the second game happens almost immediatly after the first. meaning at most spyro is 13 for half of it. along side this, cynder is also the same age as him. same goes for sparx.

“well, but those arent DotD!”

You are correct! They arent! however they give us a clue on how old spyro, cynder and sparx are in the third game!

this comment on a game forum mentions that spyro is 15 in the third game.

“but lolbit you fuggin gnome! some dumb forum doesnt mean anything!”

Once again you are correct! it does not. however the poster on the forum is right. spyro is fifteen as per mentioned in this screenshot of the actual dialogue of the third game.

hunter mention 3 years having passed. which would mean spyro, cynder and sparx are in fact 15. 15 is not an adult. You should not be depicting a minor in sexual situations EVER. you should not be “aging up” a character for nsfw art. and you ESPECIALLY should not be doing this when you are a 23 year old. dont believe me? their Furaffinity account specifies their age here! please be warned there is NSFW art on their account.

now im sure youre asking why im throwing such a fuss over this. well dear reader, fae/fox refuses to awknowledge that they did anything wrong and they continue to argue that “its okay if theyre mature and ive written a story for them”. that of course was paraphrasing. however here is their exact words on the matter. “But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.Drawing those grown characters doing mature things is normal.Projecting real life stuff onto characters, whether they're canonically only ever shown as children or as adults while working through their story, is normal.There is so much worse to harp on. “

please keep in mind that no where in this paragraph here is it mentioned that the characters are adults. they are stated to be mature. however, maturity does not = age. it means your maturity mentally. spyro is extremelly mature for a 15 year old. he saves the world and handles the fact that he was plucked from his home before he was hatched and was raised by a family that was not his blood family even though he is still a child. a MINOR. cynder handles her corruption and the fact that she was used as a tool for an evil master as well as she can. she’s extremelly mature for her age. but again, she is only 15.

now of course im expecting that legendary comment of

“dumpass. theyre fictional. duhhhh. they aren’t real”

and to you my dear friend I have some links for you to read. i personally would never be able to sum it up in words the way these posts have. here are some links about why fiction does in fact = reality at times.(and thank you to Jade for allowing me to use their blog for these links!)

click here, here, here, and here

now that youre done reading those, im going to analize the post created by fox/fae and discuss some of the points they made.

the first part i analized earlier im going to bring back again for one more talk.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal! I can imagine Cynder growing into the type who is a little domineering in the sack, whilst Spyro would be more submissive and tender/attentive.These thoughts, through development and story when you treat characters as actual characters and not as pieces of meat, is fine.”

lets break this apart.

“When i drew that picture of Spyro and Cynder, it came from a place of love and strong feelings.If someone draws art of those two as adults being more raw and wild, with the intent of just doing that as part of their story, that's normal! “.

it does not matter if it came from a place of love. what you’re literally saying is you had strong feelings to draw spyro and cynder having sex. thats the raw of it. and yes. it is normal and okay if you would like to draw two consenting adults in a time of intimacy. however you did not draw two adults. theyre children. minors.

“But when you take young characters that you love inside and out, and develop their lives and their relationships, and mold them into more mature characters (based around the premise of human emotions and sentience), that's normal.“

i already discussed the maturity thing. you have not yet called them adults. you said mature. which more or less translates to “im too scared to admit that i didnt age them up. theyre still minors in the picture”. this is scurting around the problem rather than addressing it. and no im not addressing the next part of the paragraph. no one asked your personal views on how tender and soft a literal minor would be during intercourse. and again. they are minors. the characters are portrayed as humanistic and sentient. and fae/fox agrees on that. that is one thing they are right for.

however. that doesn’t erase all else that they’ve done. next.

“Someone even got mad that i hid the comments and acted like i hid the person who accused me only, but really i hid everyone's comment.Save for one from each of two of my friends, which were not hidden because i found them encouraging/interesting.Those are hidden now, though. I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later. Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

hoo boy. alright.

“Someone even got mad that i hid the comments and acted like i hid the person who accused me only, but really i hid everyone's comment.Save for one from each of two of my friends, which were not hidden because i found them encouraging/interesting.Those are hidden now, though.”

alright. this is a blatant lie. they have blocked a decent amount of comments but they are lying when they say they only kepts up a few friends. not to mention they say they deleted those after. there are far more comments than 2 from a few friends.

(its scribbled out cause you can actually see the art behind it. which is still nsfw)

“I hid my comments, too, and part of me hiding that stuff helps protect 1. the commenter and secondly, i just hate looking at all of that sometimes.I counted and there are 20 hidden comments in my section.There will probably be more later.”

although yes they did hide some of their comments in order to remove the whole chain its extremelly hard to believe that this is out of a place of safety for the commenter. because they left my comment up and allowed a friend of their to comment on it as well. along side this they blocked me so i couldn’t defend myself either.

and now this isnt me jumping to a conclusion. my comment is from 10 hours ago. thats a lot of time to delete a comment.

“Do you know how embarrassing that is for me?I genuinely hate drama, but damn if i won't defend myself when i know my truth and someone challenges it. If it weren't for the nice things people said to me, i would just disable comments all together and wipe the slate clean, but i guess this has shown me i value the love i receive more than the hate, even if it leaves a scar on my work -- or even my attitude.”

this is a long one but i feel it fits together well enough to analize it all together. but ohhh man. it sure is embarassing to have to hide the comments that are accusing you of drawing CP huh? it really is embarassing? because you hate drama right?. listen. it doesnt matter if its embarassing to you. you drew nsfw art of child characters. and now youre upset that you have to go through and hide the comments of people calling you out for it. do you realize how outlandish that is? and oof. listen. the fact that you wanna “wipe the slate clean” and “disable comments” to hide from the fact that people are calling you out, rather than admitting this and deleting the piece shows that you are quick to hide and shove all of this under the rug rather than addressing it. and as for that last comment. listen... you sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling rather than addressing peoples concerns and listening to their criticism is not you valuing love over hate. its you refusing to awknowledge your misdoings and pretending youve done nothing wrong. thats a horrible mentality to have. and of course this is going to leave a scar on your work. you drew CP and refused to awknowledge it even after people brought it to your attention.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong, but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict. It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.” 

once again im going to go through this and explain why its... oh so wrong.

“I know in my heart of hearts what is right and what is wrong, i know what is justifiable and what isn't.I'm not sitting here trying to justify what i drew because i know it's not wrong “

you telling yourself you did nothing wrong and refusing to awknowledge peoples criticisms of you isnt you knowing in your “heart of hearts” that youre right. its you being ignorant to peoples concerns. and how do you know its not wrong? because you say so? because your friends say so? people have addressed this issue by giving you facts and explanations on why its wrong and you deleted these comments. that isnt right at all.

“but i want it to be known that i am damn sad that someone who said they've "supported me for a few years" suddenly, over one picture they didn't like/didn't understand, chose to accuse me of basically drawing child pornography -- which is a major and very dangerous accusation, by the way, fought me over it, told me to "die mad," and then blocked me . ”

Listen. these people who supported you are sad that you’re defending drawing CP. you arent the victim in this scenario. you have no right to be sad when you actively chose to draw this. it is all your doing that these people have removed their support for you. as have I. these people are not to blame because they are disgusted that you drew something like this. and we are aware this is dangerous and a major accusation. however it is true. what you have drawn, by definitions, is CP. and now i hate to be this person. but you deleted all the comments. so there really isnt proof of this. i hate to pull that card but honestly.. this is the definiton of “pics or it didn’t happen”

“If that were some random troll running by shitting on my art i'd be angry, but after some words i'd just block them and move on.But when a watcher or someone who has enjoyed my work just totally thrashes me or automatically loses faith in/respect for me, it hurts.Yes, it hurts!I'm not made of stone, i'm not used to this level of drama.I hate conflict.”

once again. you’re to blame for this. you are playing a pity card yet you drew ths. the whole “it hurts me too” arguement is null. It doesnt work. you drew the art and chose to defend it. you have no right to be upset when people voiced their concerns about it. and conflict wouldnt arise if you actually listened to peoples concerns about this rather than immediately blocking them and playing the victim card.

“It hurts.But i once said i want to go far and wide with my passion, and that's gonna mean taking some low blows along the way.It's just something i have to learn to deal with like an adult.”

first of all you dont need to get poetic here. you drew CP, got called out for it and then made a post crying about it all. and if your passion is drawing porn of spyro and cynder, children characetrs, then youre not a good person. and if you defending CP is really when youre going to act like an adult then you clearly have the wrong priorities.

“I'm not some perfect martyr out to try and prove i can't do any wrong.Hell those of you who watch my side account have seen my ass a LOT, and you've also seen me try to grow from it when i'm wrong.I should not have given that commenter the gratification of pissing me off so much, but it happened.I didn't exactly blow my top, but it's still something i ought to get a handle on because i know this won't be the last time someone harasses me.”

heres the thing. the only people who can vouch for you here are your followers who are defending your actions here. you can’t use your side account as an excuse of “ive grown as a person” when the account isnt public and no one has access to it other than those who you select to. and on the second part. listen. youre 23. youre over the legal age in the states and i believe everywhere else. youre a grown adult. and if you consider people saying “youre disgusting for drawing CP and defending it” as harassment then you truely do need to grow up. you shouldnt be praised for not freaking out at people for calling you out on this kind of stuff.

“As i told someone else who's barked at me, it would also be hella wrong if one character was an adult and was a child and i aged the child up so they could fuck.I HATE that shit.That to me is wrong and weird, but here they're the same age, as adults. To me, it's not weird.Honest to God the worst/weirdest age thing i ever got swept away by was ZaDr, and i've been thinking about that lately and am considering at some point going back and throwing in head canon and trying to make it better so that it isn't "nasty”. I've gotten smarter and wiser since then.So there's definitely some hypocritical material in my folders, too, and i'll go ahead and admit that.I was younger and stupider at the time, but trust me when i say i never have looked at a child character and thought of them sexually.Ever.It's wrong.”

alright first im going start by saying this is in reference to my comment. now when refering to someone, when youre trying to earn peoples pity and understanding, you shouldnt jump to insult them. i wasn’t barking aat you. i was addressing your behaviour. and now. this is the first spot youve addressed them being “adults” in your art. every other time you mention it you call them mature which is a cop out. its only when you’re finally addressing the exact issue that you start to state how you are depecting them as adults. which, aging up a character for porn is still wrong. (which i will explain a bit better after im done this). and also you arent to be praised for seeing that as wrong. thats a normal response. no one was asking if you see it as wrong. and most people assume that until stated otherwise, this is the norm. most people see that as disgusting.

now you say to you it isnt weird. listen. to you it isnt weird because its your art and you dont like being called out for drawing CP. do you see what im getting at? now also i dont know what you’re talkign about here so i wont address it incase i get the wrong impression and speak out of line, however you say you’ve never looked at a child character sexually. yet you drew cynder and spyro intimately. understand this. aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. which. is. wrong.

im not addressing the last two paragraphs on the journal as it is just them praising their followers for praising them, however i will address their comment ont their art piece. 

“ And since apparently some people don't understand this, S/C are 18+ here.If anyone ever assumes i would draw children having sex, i swear to God... “

from what i can tell this was a saveface. they put this comment once they censored the piece. their fA has the piece as well and they dont address the age of the characters. which means that this was just added on to prevent them from the issues being addressed by commenters.

now from what i can tell. their AU doesnt really exist apart from some world building. i couldnt find a long detailed AU where the characters were aged up and lived a life. the only time ive found them mentioning the AU is when they talked about the art piece. whats that mean? it doesnt really exist. not publicly atleast. which means the “AU” could entirely just mean its an excuse to draw porn of the characters. now that last bit sounds like me picking for straws i understand. however it is  very possible. heres a post that explains why its not good to age up characters. (understand that im aware the post is discussing and age gap however it addresses some good points)

heres the post

now if you read it you’ll see this part.  “ aging up is taking two characters who would have an inappropriate relationship in canon, seeing their relationship as romantic, and then aging them up because you want some way for them to be together. and in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay”. now i want oyu to pay attention to this part. “in that way you’re romanticizing a relationship between the two characters you saw in canon, and that’s not okay.”

you’re taking characters you saw in canon, and changing them to fit your view in a way that the public would deem okay. You’re taking something you saw in canon, in this case two children who seem at the most mildly puppy lovish (like a play ground crush), and you’re manipulating it so that you can view the canon relationship in a less taboo way. like i said earlier, aging up a character doesnt mean you look at the character in a more adult light. it means you’re attempting to justify to youself and make yourself feel better and safer on the idea of the character having sex. aging a character up doesn’t change the way you view them or their relationships. no matter how much you insist you are smarter than most and you really do view the character as an adult, you dont. thats bull.

now onto some smaller stuff that they didnt because wow. iconic i guess..

although i usually block out names this is a gross mentality. the entire comment is disgusting. and at the end “i would love to see some more sexy spyro x cynder from you” solidifies it. not to mention that fae/fox is essentially encouraging it. saying they will continue to draw it. meaning they havent learned anything from this experience. youre 23 dude.

and now some abliesm

“but lolbit you stupid bafoon. they didnt say anything themself. duuuhhh”

yes im aware. here they are saying it themself. 

ahh.. gotta love that... really gotta hammer in that sparkling personality of theirs.

TD;LR foxdragonlover on deviantart, FaeFierceVulpine on furaffinity and  onefiercefox here on tumblr drew cynder and spyro nsfw art (which classifies as CP) and then defended their art all the while blocking people who called them out for it. they claimed it featured 18 plus characters only after they were called out for it. they then made a post about it essentially crying about it and pinning the blame on those who called them out for it. They are a 23 year old. they’ve also said some abliest stuff and have just generally been nasty.

anyway i cant believe i did this. this post is huge and im so sorry. i didnt intend for it to be that big. i wanted to be as detailed as possible and make sure i touched on everything i could. now its 3 am and im tired. if anything looks wrong tell me and i’ll change it. i may address their comment to me later (the comment in the starting pictures). im outa energy

[happyk44]

#THE TAGS YES YES YES THIS IS SOOO SMART#I AM SO INTO THIS #I’m planning a rewrite and i have piper as a daughter of eros! #and in my head she’s given the option of either staying with the ares cabin or the aphrodite cabin (while the eros cabin gets built ig) #and i kinda forget that pluto/hades borders the minor and major gods since hades is one of the big three but not rly on the olympian council #but also i feel like bc hazel is also favored by hecate or whatever #she’s also on the border between minor and major gods in that way?

#leo and frank i havent considered as much #for frank im fsr SOOOOO attached to the fun little dynamic of having mars and ares warring in his head in SoN #but i also feel like bellona or honos or nerio or victoria or virtus would be fun options!!!! #and like. generally i ignore the whole ‘kidnapping nike’ thing bc yeah i ignore a lot of things in HoO including much of BoO #but imagine frank kidnapping his own mom. im sorry im just. JSBSKSBSJS dying of laughter over here in the corner

#however leo. ohmygod ive never even really considered another idea for a godly parent for leo but PROMETHEUS. YEAH!!! #we’d have our first demititan!!! and since tlh is only a few months after tlo it would show how affected the demigods at chb are by the war #bc rather than the love and acceptance and family that leo is shown in canon when he’s claimed by hephaestus

#he’s going to be met with distrust and hostility (and possibly people saying he was in the titan army or that he doesn’t belong at chb) #and i think not only would that be a really cool thing for his character with prometheus’s role as the creator of humankind #but also over the months between tlh and moa. as he learns to trust himself and his fire powers chb begins to trust him more and more

#wait sorry im back again i have more thoughts #ignoring my idea of the ares and aphrodite cabins sharing custody of piper #i feel like it could also be vv fun if they were both forced to stay in the hermes cabin #the hermes cabin was probably the most affected by luke’s betrayal and it would be interesting to see how they’d react to demititan leo

#idk even if piper still stays in the ares cabin or the aphrodite cabin we’d still end up getting two very different looks at how chb #has been affected by the titan war. bc the aphrodite cabin is still probably dealing with silena’s betrayal. clarisse is probably #still dealing with losing silena and possibly thinking it’s her fault. the ares kids might have beef about the war in general and the fact #that silena pretended to be clarisse to get them to help and then died a ‘hero’ despite being the spy

#i feel like seeing the difference between ares and aphrodite cabins in their reaction to silena and the battle of manhattan would be vv fun #also just. imagine piper having to deal with reporters and stuff trying to pry and figure out who her mom was #and it turns out she’s got two dads. i wonder how tristan remembers/justifies it???

#also LEO LEO LEO DEMITITAN LEO#i have soooo much beef with caleo but. i do like the idea of them becoming friends ok #and i do like the idea of leo promising he’d come back for calypso bc he recognizes the lack of autonomy she has in her situation on ogygia #and it reminds him of the lack of autonomy he had in foster care and wants to help her the same way he wishes someone had done for him #and i feel like there’s even more of a connection there when you consider that they both have a titan for a parent #and that makes people think they’re untrustworthy. that’s why calypso is trapped on the island. i feel like drawing that parallel between

#calypso and leo and their situations would be sooo compelling #also there are other roman gods related to prophecy and if it weren’t for octavian’s actions somewhat being a catalyst for toa #then i would say he should be a descendant of carmenta or something instead of apollo via @heartsick-stranger

I love the idea of Jason being mistaken for a child of Jupiter because of his relationship to Thalia (if they're still related) and his lightning powers, being trained by wolves and sent to camp where they realize somehow, oh, wait, he’s just some other god’s kid, nevermind, and that blow off pushes him even further to prove himself and that he is capable of leading a cohort, and later camp, and the pressure of being the best becomes a self-inflicted thing rather than something that was foisted on him. It would also create a parallel with Luke, and give greater agency to his rivalry with Percy because he worked hard to prove himself a child of a minor god but Percy just walked in and had leadership handed to him. It also can still maintain Jason's arc of shedding leadership responsibilities and becoming his own person, even if it's something he chose because Jason's core value is not wanting to let people down and that doesn't change whether the charge of being leader was a decision he made for himself or something he was pushed into it.

But also! HoO would've made much more sense if Piper and Leo and Frank were not children of Olympians. We know that 1) the big three have the tastiest scents to monsters which is why many of them don't live very long, 2) the other Olympian kids have very noticeable scents as well which makes living on the outside difficult and 3) children of minor gods are implied (if not outright stated) to have some trouble living outside of camp but they don't attract monsters as much. There's no way that monsters would’ve left Leo, Piper and Frank alone for so long, especially with the extra powers that they have, unless they were the children of minor gods (or a Titan).

You could make an argument about Frank living in Canada, or something about how his scent is confusing to monsters because he has so much tacked onto him from other pantheons. But I mean even Percy was talking about wrestling snakes to death as a toddler and other weird “mishaps” that had happened to him in childhood. We get zero implication of the same for the three stated above. I mean arguably Piper/Frank should’ve run into a bunch of monsters because they never moved around and so it was like a smoke signal to monsters vs Leo’s constantly moving tracking pad (but even he should’ve run into something, right?)

PJO: we need to recognize the value of the minor gods. The Olympians are important, sure, but the minor gods do a lot of work in maintaining and assisting the pantheon, have their own kids and deserve to be seen and valued just as much

HoO: Back at it again with Olympian-only nonsense!

[a-super-evil-cat-who-murders]

I’ve been tagged to do a writing recap by @positivelyamazonian (and @luluvonv but I didn’t see that post nor the notification because tumblr hates me and suffering is the essence of my existence) Now, I’ve not read too much lately, as I’ve struggled find books that interest me, and because I just can’t focus on them, even ones I love)

BTW: imma go with past year as if I just did this year, I’d be limited to the Six of Crows duology.

Best book you read so far this year

I’d have to say The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan. The final book in the original Percy Jackson & the Olympians series. This book was a ride. The tension of this book was so great I had to put it down every few minutes just to stave off an actual heart attack. I could feel my heart being crushed and torn inside me chest it was great. I was panting and hyperventilating the whole time, I’ve never had a book do that to me. Like, if you watch any of the battle episodes from Game of Thrones, the entire book is that and it is just marvelous. I knew that Percy and Annabeth and Grover would live, was pretty sure Nico would too, but the other campers I didn’t and when any of them died, and mind you all the campers are kids, Percy is like, 14 or 15 in this book, Luke Castellan was the oldest of all the campers and if I remember he was 23 in this book, the rest are children. And each time they died, and often in not pretty ways, my heart would just shatter for these poor innocent children. The plot is great so I won’t spoil any more of it, but yeah, best book I’ve read in the past year, probably the best I’ve read ever. If you read anything I write about in this post, read the first PJO series, because I cannot say enough how incredible this book is.

Worst book you read so far this year

Hhhmmmmm… I’d say The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson. I’d heard such good things about Sanderson but good gods did I not like this book. The biggest issue I had with it was a lack of quality time with any characters. The book opened with an assassin character, but I spent most of the chapter with him, trying to learn what the fuck he was talking about, what the names were tied to and how his magic worked. I didn’t start getting into him until the end of his chapter. But then, the next chapter is from a completely different characters perspective, in a completely different place at a completely different time. Now this new POV character, is like 15, a novice soldier on a battlefield, so I ofc feel sorry for him and want to hold him and protect him so OKAY! I have a character I can care about, great. Then the battle happens and it’s okay, tbh ASoIaF and TLO kinda ruined battles for me. Then the battle goes awful the kid gets injured, then the battle goes well, and he’s at a medical tent when a surprise army fall upon them. So now I’m thinking “Oh gosh, did he live?” but now we’re stuck with a person who I think was mentioned in the prev. chapter, but he’s a complete asshat so now I’m wondering if the one character I liked and cared about is alive. He died and so did my patience with this book. In A Song of Ice and Fire, and The Heroes of Olympus, Martin and Riordan introduced multiple POV characters at once by having them all in the same place. If you ask me, that’s how you should introduce multiple POV characters, because in that way, even if you only like one of the characters, you still get that character, just form someone else’s perspective. It keeps you from having to repeatedly shift gears, which is the last thing you want at the beginning of your novel if you ask me.

In addition, I had an issue with him using names or words without explaining the meaning of them. He’d talk about a certain ethnic group, and say they’re from this place, but then I’d look on his map, and find no such place. Then we only get a slight description, of their place in society, but I don’t know anything about that society, so that place is without a reference point. He also used the names “lighteye” and “darkeye” but didn’t explain upfront what those descriptors mean, so I’m sitting here trying to ask what that means, but not getting anything. However, they are clearly described as rather important traits in the story, but I don’t think you should introduce such consequential, important parts of your world, and then not explain them. At least, not without good reason.

Completed any series?

Yep, last fall I just slammed through Percy Jackson & the Olympians and its sequel series, The Heroes of Olympus, both by Rick Riordan again. I also read through in 2018 I believe, Leigh Bardugo’s Six of Crows duology. Loved all three to death.

Anticipated read for the second half of the year? 

Nothing in particular. I checked out the first Mistborn book by Brandon Sanderson (hopefully it’s better the Way of Kings), I’ve also though about reading through some history books or something, to see if those catch my interest.

A book that disappointed you 

I’d say The Hidden Oracle, or just all of the Trials of Apollo series by Rick Riordan. I’ve only been able to read through The Hidden Oracle, and that was really just because of Nico and Will. Nico is easily my favorite book character (sorry to my former first place, Bran Stark) and his relationship with Will is so fucking cute and funny I just adore every second of it. However, making Apollo, the actual god, Apollo, the main character was a really stupid idea. The Olympians are by and large the most vain, sadistic, self-centered deities I’ve ever heard of, and making one of them his protagonist was just stupid; those aren’t likable traits, and a lot of the times, it seems like the inflated ego of Apollo is played more for laughs than as an actual character flaw. In addition the other main character, Meg, I find to also be rather annoying. A bratty little kid. No thanks.

I tried to read the second book, The Dark Prophecy, but I just couldn’t. The story left Camp Half-Blood, and thus, Nico and Will aren’t there. Instead we get Leo and Calypso. I never really cared for Calypso, and often found her just kind of meh... and since she hates Apollo, and the book is from Apollo’s perspective, she’s either mean and angry, or just really bland. Regarding Leo, I liked Leo, but, his character arc got resolved in The Blood of Olympus from the previous series (The Heroes of Olympus); he’s learned to fully accept his pyro-kinesis and to stop blaming himself for his mom’s death. Other than that however, Leo’s other defining characteristic is him being a joker. Constantly cracking jokes, and being an all around goofball, and a bit of a ladies boy, but all of that has been dulled quite a bit from the previous series. He’s grumpy, serious, and in a relationship with Calypso, and just lacking in the charm he had from the previous series.

I don’t know if I’ll just try and power through it in the future, because I’m sure Will and Nico will be back towards the end of the series, and because a... cataclysmic event happened in the latest book (the third i think) and... imma have to read that... but... I don’t know.

How many books for have read so far this year? 

???? IDK!?!? 13?

A book that made you laugh 

... Every book by Rick Riordan has made me laugh. Sometimes the normal wheezing i do, sometimes and actual guffaw, and sometimes I’m having to lie down and contain myself before I die from laughter.

Estimated read count for the year? 

Don’t know, don’t care, not like I’m getting paid for it.

Tagging: @inarticulatefox , with Navi gone, you’re the only person i know who likes books ( you do like ‘em right?) and hasn’t done this yet so yeh. I tag ye.

[novermilion]

Get to Know Me Better

Tagged by @flightless-suzaku​

Tagging: @itsworththefalll​ @ilovejin-youlovejin-jinlovesjin​ and anyone else

THE LAST

Drink: Green tea Phone call: my doctor’s office to ask about getting the flu vaccine (...I really hate phone calls, please don’t call me, just text me) Text message: “But like we get free gumbo so it’s worth it, right?” (talking to my friend about volunteering for a Gumbo Cook-off) Song you listened to: “Star” by HEIZE Time you cried: Last night while I was rewatching Code Geass

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: Hard pass. Kissed someone and regretted it: any tipsy/drunk kiss Been cheated on: I don’t think so. But I’ve been accused of cheating which is stupid Lost someone special: So it goes. Been depressed: Certainly. Gotten drunk and thrown up: New Orleans does that to you.

3 FAVOURITE COLORS

burgundy, black, lapis blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made new friends: Yes! And some of them mean the world to me already! Fallen out of love: I’m not sure I’ve ever truly been in love so no. Laughed until you cried: I don’t think so? Found out someone was talking about you: Yes but talk shit, get hit. (Not physically, I’m not physically violent. But words are my weapon of choice.) Met someone who changed you: I like to think I’m constantly changing so I couldn’t say whether or not it’s due to a specific person. Found out who your friends are: Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I cycle through friends often. The few I choose to hold on to mean a lot to me though. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Of course How many Facebook friends do you know in real life: Know? Almost all. Know well? Probably none hahaha Do you have any pets: Not me but my brother has two doggos I take care of a lot. Do you want to change your name: Yes and no. My name means a lot to me but it is frustrating that it’s a pretty hard name. As far as marriage, I wouldn’t mind taking my husband’s name if it sounded nice with mine. I’d probably keep my own though. What did you do for your last birthday: Family drama. I distinctly remember crying a lot on my birthday. What were you doing at midnight last night: Not sleeping like I was supposed to. I was binging Code Geass. I also cancelled my 5AM yoga class because I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive it on no sleep. Name something you can’t wait for: Living on my own again. When was the last time you saw your mom: A few minutes ago. I blew her my customary hand kiss and I patted her butt as usual.  What are you listening to right now: “so far away” by elijah who Have you ever talked to a person named tom: ...Yeah. Way more than I should have. Something that is getting on your nerves: my constant itchiness Most visited website: Probably youtube? Hair colour: Blacker than black because I re-dyed it recently Long or short hair: I like when my hair is longer Do you have a crush on someone: Does Jeon Jungkook count? What do you like about yourself: Please don’t ask me this. Blood type: A+ like my grades hahahahah just kidding I fucked up my gpa in college Nickname: Smol mama, QN, TLO (pronounced tee-low), út Relationship status: Forever alone Zodiac: Cancer and wood dog Pronouns: She/Her Favourite tv show: Bones!!!! I can rewatch it any number of times. Tattoos: None but I wish Right or left handed: Was born a lefty but trained to be a righty Surgery: Lots of dental work but the rest of me is pretty original Sport: I am notoriously crappy at playing sports but I enjoy bowling and racquetball. As for watching sports, I only ever watch football Pair of shoes: I LOVE SHOES SO MUCH. I have far too many pairs. My current fav would be my burgundy pumas Eating: I’m eating cheapo grocery store sushi right now. Drinking: Water now. I’m about to: take a shower Waiting for: my phone to charge Want: to travel more Get married: Some day Career: UGH.

WHICH IS BETTER

Hugs or kisses: Kisses. Too many hugs end up awkward because of my height. Lips or eyes: Eyes for sure Shorter or taller: Please be taller than me. It’s not asking much. Older or younger: I don’t know anymore. I thought I was only into older guys but younger ones keep catching my eye lately Nice arms or nice stomach: I’m a sucker for good arms. Especially with rolled up sleeves. I don’t mind if they’ve got a soft tummy or rock hard abs. Hook up or relationship: I’d like a relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Both Kissed a stranger: Yes Drank hard liquor: Good times, my friend. Lost glasses/contact lenses: All the time. Turned someone down: Indirectly, yes. Sex on the first date: It’d have to be someone I’ve known for a long time. Broken someone’s heart: I don’t think so. Had your heart broken: While I wasn’t in love, my heart definitely felt broken. Being arrested: Never. I have a pretty strict relationship with justice and the law. Fallen for a friend: Yes, I think so. Cried when someone died: Absolutely.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: At the moment, not really. Miracles: I want to. Love at first sight: Maybe. Santa Claus: Never have. Kiss on the first date: Yes.

[kingcardvn]

tag 🌻

Thanks for the tag! ❤️ @illyriangoddess

Rules: always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, write 10 questions of your own, tag 10 people.

1. Favorite Musician/Band?  ✨ Maroon 5 - adam levine (need i say more??) ✨ One Direction  - i've been a fan since 2011 (??) and i miss them so much ughhh ✨ Boyce Avenue - i really love their covers!! ❤️

2. Colour you enjoy looking at? ✨ anything pastel tbh 

3. Name your favorite scene/moment in a book ✨ the cabin scene in acomaf (!!!) ✨ when percy was claimed in tlt and also when he was called the hero of olympus in tlo (i was just so proud okaaaay) 4. Where are you right now and what are you doing? ✨ im in my room and im supposed to be rewriting my notes but nah

5. What did you have for lunch yesterday? Did you like it?  ✨ i had something from mcdonalds so yeah

6. When was the last time you cuddled an animal? ✨ last night with my cat 🐈 

7. Where do you want to travel? ✨ united kingdom and france 🤗 8. What do you want to call your children if you want any? ✨ if i have a boy i'd name him azriel ✨ if i have a girl i'd name her elain or annabeth (or probably a combination of the two who knows)

9. Favourite flower? ✨ sunflowers 🌻🌻 

10. Tell someone you love them. (This is not a question but hey 😄)  ✨ idk if it should be in person or not but i love every single one of you ❤️❤️ 

My Questions ☀️ 1. What's your name? 2. Sunny days or rainy days? Why? 3. Favourite song? 4. What do you like to do on your free time? 5. What's your favourite book? 6. Favourite author? 7. What was your first kiss like? 8. Have you ever been in love? 9. What's your dream date? 10. What makes you truly happy?  

So i tag: @feysandfeels @feysandsmut @readinglikewildfire @fck-tamlin @rowanrhysand @dorianthekinkymf @feyrelight @marabarrow @evangeliensamos @bringaboutthestorm <333

[snickertoodles]

70 horrible questions

IT’S 6 AM WEEEEEEEEEEEEE

https://togey-appreciation-club.tumblr.com/post/174206085382/70-horrible-questions-fuck-it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

NOPE

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

My boyfriend!

03: Do you regret anything?

I regret everything. Mostly related to me being shitty to people or losing my temper.

04: Are you insecure?

YEP

05: What is your relationship status?

Taken by “he who does not have a Tumblr account”.

06: How do you want to die?

Hopefully not at all, but who knows.

07: What did you last eat?

Grapes.

08: Played any sports?

I’m 100/120 pounds and get tired if I stand for too long, no. One teacher asked me to join track once but I didn’t because I forgot how and was too socially anxious to ask.

09: Do you bite your nails?

Currently painfully aware of my thumbs hurting thanks to that.

10: When was your last physical fight?

5th grade. Beat up a boy next to the merry go round. I don’t remember why. It wasn’t a hard fight or anything, mostly just wrestling... I think I slammed his head on the metal though. Sorry dude.

11: Do you like someone?

I’m assuming I was supposed to answer “no” to question number 5.

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

Recently. I’m a push-over.

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Not anymore.

14: Do you miss someone?

The friends who grow apart with time.

15: Have any pets?

An singular (1) cat.

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

I feel like I should be in fucking bed but instead I’m filling out a 70-question list about myself at 6 in the morning.

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Not... to my knowledge... o_O

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Fuck spiders.

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

I’d probably screw everything up, so no.

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

That word makes me uncomfortable.

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Stay at home playing video games, same as my plan for this week, and next week...

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I don’t trust myself to be able to look after a kid. And I doubt I can bear a child, at least in my current state.

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Too painful, and they’d bother me... Little things like tags and stuff either drive me insane or must be incessantly picked at. I hear it’s an ADHD thing. IDK.

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

English, science that didn’t involve math. Like biology and ecology. I’m sure you can guess what my worst subject was.

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

I already answered this question.

26: What are you craving right now?

My bed.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I hope not.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

I... hope not... o_O

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Probably because I suck.

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Nothing at the moment.

31: Does somebody love you?

For some reason.

32: What is your favourite color?

Sangria.

33: Do you have trust issues?

Don’t even get me started...

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

The last one I can remember, I was in a tiny van with the Guardians from TLOS...

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Le boyfriend.

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

Probably. Actually, definitely.

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgive.

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

Above average is better than bad, so yes.

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Ask me when my boyfriend’s sister isn’t following me on Tumblr... XD

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Um. No? XDDDD

51: Favourite food?

I refuse to make a decision like this. But pizza and ice cream are good.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Nope. The world is a big d100 and it’s just as likely to fuck you over as it is to help you. That’s life. Just do what you can to make it less bad for the people around you.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Feed my cat.

54: Is cheating ever okay?

Not really, but I can’t tell people what to do with their life.

55: Are you mean?

I’d like to say not always.

56: How many people have you fist fought?

None yet. But I’ve been punched in the face twice!

57: Do you believe in true love?

See question 52. I’m sure there’s someone who can make you really happy. Movie romances exist and can happen. People can come into your life right when you need them. But I wouldn’t call it fate or destiny, and there are lots of people who are compatible with you.

58: Favourite weather?

Rain. Or just before and just after a storm.

59: Do you like the snow?

Hell yeah I like snow ;P

60: Do you wanna get married?

Someday.

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Egh... not my thing.

62: What makes you happy?

Making other people happy. Or seeing other people who are happy or helping each other.

63: Would you change your name?

I don’t really use my real name, anyway. It’s just Toodles now.

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

No. ;P

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Already be dating them!

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

I act like myself with no inhibitions regardless of how close my friends are to me or their gender. :P

Also, most of my friends are dudes who are older than me, girls are the ones I’ve always found hard to deal with thanks to lack of common interests...

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Boyfriend went to bed, so... HAI DEMI!

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Boyfriend.

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

See question 57.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

For my boyfriend I’d make the choice. For anyone else, maybe not, but I might do it without thinking in a crisis. I wouldn’t regret that.