#should i throw this in the main tag? yeah whatever

[whale-in-that-case]

I want to inform you all that there's a dutch language version of defying gravity and it absolutely kicks ass

[hotdogmchiggin]

Curse daisuke and his swag little button up shirt

[readerstories]

When You Touch Me - Wolverine x male reader x Deadpool 9/?

Hello, hello! Real life has been busy, but finally I've been able to sit down and write! *Edit: added some more details and dialogue. (AO3) (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)

Warnings/tags: male reader, canon-typical violence, enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn

Wordcount: 3256

Summary: You’ve heard many stories about how people met their soulmates. Everyone crazier than the last, ranging from typical meet cutes, meeting with one of them at death's door, in war, meeting at your soulmate's wedding to another, and everything in between and outside of that. You had just never expected to add yours to the crazy list, meeting yours in a fight, only realizing after trying to kill each other for at least half an hour. And you certainly don’t expect to have another.

It's been three weeks since you saw Wade or Logan.

Which you are happy about.

But your body definitely isn’t.

Your joints are aching constantly. Some days it feels like you’ve been thrown into a wall multiple times, oddly not breaking or bruising nothing, but leaving you sore and hurting like a bitch. 

There are also the headaches (something that edges close to a migraine at some points) that have no apparent reason behind them, that leave you grumpy and in a foul mood.

Well, there’s no apparent reason that you want to think about.

You only throw in the towel the day after a particular bad headache that had actually turned into a full migraine.

You had spent all day curled up in bed, for once not happy about the big windows in your apartment. You had thought about curling up in the bathroom with the lights off and heated floor on, but there was no way that would have been comfortable with your aching body. The heat might have been nice, but not the hard tile.

So, you bite the bullet, and go to their apartment. No matter that you’ve only been there once, finding your way there is easy.

You are tempted to drive there, but with your aching body and head you don’t trust yourself behind the wheel or handlebars. 

So the subway and walking it is. That’s not pleasant either, but at least you are not a threat to others. And it’s not like you can teleport. You only stumble once on the way, muttering an apology to the guy you bump into. He sends you a nasty look, but it turns less harsh as he takes in your state, and he mutters a “don’t worry about it” back. 

You hadn’t looked too closely in the mirror that morning, but with the way you are feeling, there’s no way you look your best.

It takes you a good amount of time, but you finally knock at their front door, trying not to sway on your feet. They really should look into doing something with the main entrance to the building, you had managed to slip inside again even in your state. There’s some shuffling behind the door, a muffled “coming” barely reaching your ears. 

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever reaction you are about to get.

Wade, wearing black sweatpants and a pink hello kitty t-shirt, opens the door, freezing with his mouth open as if he was about to say something. His control on the bond to you slips for a moment, you feel the utter confusion before it goes back to its muted state. You snort out a laugh, trying not to wince when that of course, with your luck, pulls on something that hurts; you’re not even sure what.

“Can I come in?”

“You are not our Chinese food.” You expect some sort of joke to follow, but there’s none, just Wade looking you up and down, “You look like shit pookie.” Is what you get instead, making you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, I am fucking aware. Which is why I am here.” It should be annoying how you can fucking feel your shoulders lighten as you stand there, just looking at each other, but all you can feel is relief. 

You swallow, throat dry. “So, can I come in?”

“Um, yeah, sure.” Wade opens the door wider, stepping to the side to let you in. You slowly do so, looking around. You have already been here, but it has been about two months. 

The door clicks shut behind you. Wade doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes on your back as you look over the place.

There’s a couch, a few lounge chairs, a tv. There’s also of course the dining room table that you got stitched up on, chairs surrounding it, several of them having clothes thrown over the backrest. It’s a little messy, but looks mostly clean, except for some weird stains on the floor you do your best to avoid as you step just a little closer to the lounge chairs and couch. You are tempted to sit down, but stop as Logan appears from somewhere further in the apartment. He’s wearing a grey flannel and jeans, looking down at his feet as he walks, chastising the ugly as sin dog as it runs around his legs, but as he looks up, he freezes mid-step.

“Was about to yell that we got company, peanut.” Wade says quietly, calm behind your back as you and Logan stare at each other.

“Uh, yeah, I can see that.” A beat of silence where no one says anything. 

Then the dog, Mary-something or other, (you think), barks loudly, once, before running over to you. You look down at her as she stands on her hind legs, pawing at your pants. That seems to break Wade out of whatever state he was frozen in, as he scoops her up, and starts talking. 

“Good to know we weren't the only ones hurting, for a bit there we almost thought this was some very elaborate prank, or a super shitty version of one. Like Punked, just with writing instead of TV cameras. You held out for a long time, and you didn’t even have another soulmate to lean on. Or, oh! Foursome? Or fourway if you wanna be clean about it.” You lick your lips, taking a deep breath, unsure of what to feel. You want to be annoyed, but there’s no annoyance to be found.

“No.”

“Good to know! Now I’m imagining a fourth though, fun to think about! Who though? Cable? Colossus? Buck? Well, I’ve touched all of them before and got nothing, so unlikely. Who do you think the author would throw in? Maybe Spidey? Andrew Garfield version, hopefully. His hair is almost as great as peanut’s.” You glance over at Logan, tuning out Wade for a moment. There’s a barely there frown on his face as he looks you up and down, taking in the state of you. He looks a lot better than you, normal even, and so does Wade.

“-hurting too. Well, for me more than usual. Wait, does this mean cuddle sessions on the couch?” Wade lets out an excited gasp, and for a moment your mind zeros in on the “more than usual” comment, but Wade just keeps going. “Omg, I’m already imagining it, the greatest cuddle pile to ever exist in this universe! Soft blankets, TV going, some scented candles to really set the mood.” He winks, you scowl. 

You take a few more steps so you can plop down on a lounge chair with a groan, leaning back with your legs spread, hands in your own hair, and close your eyes. There’s a spike of something through your bond that’s gone too quick for you to recognise, but you pay it no mind as you massage your scalp. You are not sure if it’s helping, or if it’s the effects of your body finally being in the same room as your soulmates. All you care about is that your persistent headache is slowly fading, your head hurting less by the second.

“You know, touching not from just yourself would also help.” You swear you hear a wink in Wade’s voice; you are sure if your eyes were open you would have seen it.

“Touch me and I will cut your fingers off.”

“Are you even armed?” Footsteps next to you, and then you get a few pokes by a single finger on the side of your thigh before it connects with a hidden knife sheath.

“What are you doing?” Logan asks from behind you.

“Checking if he’s actually armed, I didn't think putting my hand down his pants would have gone well.” You hum, you should make good on your threat, but find that you can’t be bothered right now, too relieved by the tension in your body easing by the second.

“Would have been your whole arm instead. The close proximity should be enough to make me feel and look less like shit.” You rub your temple, opening your eyes to glance up at Wade who is still standing close, while Logan makes his way over to the couch.

“And what if it isn’t?” Logan asks as he sits down, tilting his head to the side as he takes you in. You roll your shoulders, noting to yourself how they already feel looser, more relaxed, even if it’s only been minutes.

Fucking soulmates.

“We’ll jump off that bridge if we get to it.” Wade laughs, but no one gets to say anything else before they are stopped by the doorbell. This turns out to be the earlier mentioned chinese food. You close your eyes when the smell of it makes your nausea return. You dig your hands into the armrest of the lounge chair.

“Well, we weren’t planning on a dinner guest, but we always order enough food for half an army, since we gotta stay big strong boys, so if you want some there’s plenty to go around. And I’m not just talking about food.” Yet another wink you can hear. You shake your head.

“I’ll hurl, so no thanks.” 

“Hurtful pookie.”

“The food dumbass.” You bring the sleeve of your jacket up to your nose, breathing in the familiar scent of your laundry detergent to focus on something else. You get a few breaths in before there’s a weight in your lap, making you open your eyes and look down. The round eyes of Mary look up at you, her tongue hanging out of her mouth.

“Awwww, she must really like you. She’ll normally beg for food even though she knows she can’t have any. Even if she’s technically indestructible, she will get an upset stomach and shit everywhere if she eats some human foods.” You blink at Wade, who has taken a seat next to Logan and spread out a frankly ridiculous amount of food on the living room table. 

“Indestructible?” Your voice comes out a little muffled from behind your sleeve, but Wade seems to understand you just fine, grinning.

“Ohhh, is it exposition time?” Apparently answering his own question, Wade launches into the story of how they met, how they got Mary Puppins, and apparently saved the universe.

The story is told with a lot of words and gestures, mostly by Wade, though Logan fills in bits and pieces here and there, and sometimes protests when there’s part where Wade is apparently “painting a fucking rosy picture with a lot less guts”.

As Wade talks the nausea slowly dissolves, so you move from holding your sleeve in front of your nose to petting Mary. She doesn’t have much fur, and is still ugly as sin, but she is already growing on you in a weird way. You can see why Wade instantly fell in love, but also why Logan didn’t, at least according to the story Wade tells. 

“-and that’s how this hunk of a man came to live with me and Al.” Wade lets you digest all that they have told as he takes a few big bites of the now cold noodles in front of him. Logan takes a sip of his beer that he had gotten at some point, eyes flicking between you and Wade.

It’s an insane story, and you’re not sure how much of it you believe, but there’s a part that’s missing.

“When did you touch each other?”

“Oh, multiple times. Want me to tell the Honda part all over again? I assure you, it was just as juicy and could have been a lot juicer if Di-”

“No, I mean, when did you realize you were soulmates?”

“Oh! When we got back to this place, and I handed Logan some spare clothes that he could shower.” You tilt your head, then you realise why it happened that late.

“Oh, gloves.”

“Yup! All that touching and handholding, and it was all with gloves. Though his disintegrated alongside his shirt with the ripper, showing off that glorious hairy and sweaty chest and abs, I was still wearing mine. No-one wanted that freak-show.” Logan elbows Wade as your mind goes elsewhere for a moment. You can’t help it, you imagine it for a fleeting second, glancing over Wade and Logan, the latter of whom tilts his head just the teeniest bit to the side. “I didn’t take my gloves off until the safety of home, so we had a nice bonding time in the shitty bathroom. Freaked out Mr. Growly over here, he doesn’t have soulmates in his universe.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I want to live in your universe.” Logan scoffs, taking a drink of his beer.

“Trust me, you don’t.”

“Wait, if you don’t have soulmates, how….?”

“We figured it must have been all that sexy hand holding, our particles getting mixed by the time ripper, and Madonna.”

“What does Mad- You know what, doesn’t matter.” Your shoulders are high, trying to tense, but being closer to your soulmates Wade and Logan are making them more relaxed. It’s an odd combo, making it feel like your shoulders are slowly rolling up and down.

“So you got the kitten claws and kitten ears in your hair, and you got super healing with a side of skin disease.”

“Hardy har, don’t bully me I’ll cum. But something like that, just with a much deeper and so, so tragic backstory. But there has been enough exposition for today, don't you think?”

“Sure, right, whatever. So the two of you saved the fucking universe and got each other in the process, fucking fabulous.” You scrub your hands over your face, before combing through your hair a few times. “Where in the fuck do I fit in in this mess.” You mostly mumble it to yourself, trying to make sense of it all.

“I don’t know, but if you let us, we could figure it out together. Like some weird sort of buddy cop movie, but in an ACAB way.” You snort behind your hands, not being able to help yourself. Wade’s humor has already grown on you.

“Come on, what you’re doing now is just making it fucking worse for yourself, even if you don’t like it.” Logan supplies.

“Yeah no shit, I feel the same way I look.”

“Hot as shit.” Wade winks at you, you roll your eyes.

“Just shit.” 

“Agree to disagree, pookie.” A few moments of silence, where you tilt your head back to stare at the ceiling, take a few deep breaths, and try to not concentrate on how your bonds are practically vibrating with excitement even in their muted states. 

“Soooooo, how are we going to do this?” Wade is, of course, the one to break the silence. 

“Do what?”

“Start of this beautiful journey of loveeee and self healing?” Wade wiggles in his seat, pushing his shoulder into Logan, who rolls his eyes at his antics, but throws an arm around his shoulders.

“Fuck if I know.” A few beats where you try to think, now that you can focus on something else other than pain and nausea. “Regular-ish meetings would probably be good. Try to keep the side-effects, but also the contact, minimal.”

“Hurtful pookie.” Wade says again, but Logan talks before you can respond to him.

“Let’s start with once a week, and if that’s not enough, we’ll try more.” He suggests.

“Feels like I’m starting a god damn drug trial or some bullshit.”

“Trial of love pookie.” You groan as Logan snorts. Wade claps his hands together. “Well, consider this the start of many wonderful nights to come! Wanna watch a movie? Al is still out who the fuck knows where doing fuck knows what (probably coke) for a while, so we got the place to ourselves” You shrug. Might as well, if you are going to be forced to spend time with your soulmates so your body doesn't start to feel like you've been run over by a truck. 

A movie will hopefully keep your mind distracted, it’s not like you need to stare deeply into each other’s eyes, or talk about feelings, for it to work and calm down your body and mind.

Wade puts on a Barbie movie of all things, and begins to yap about the Barbie movie universe, or the BMU. Logan gets up to fetch some popcorn, which you take a few handfuls off as your stomach and body has settled for now. You pet Mary Puppins as you try to pay attention to the movie.

Thirty minutes into the movie, you are out like a light, the relief of your body making you fall asleep where you sit, Mary Puppins resting in your lap with your hand on top of her barely fur-covered head.

—---

When you wake up from your unplanned nap, it’s to your neck hurting from being at an odd angle for way too long. You have no idea what time it is, but it’s dark outside the window, the only light in the room is the rays spilling in from a lamp-post somewhere outside.

Taking stock of your body as you sit up properly, the only thing that aches is your neck and upper shoulders. A blanket that wasn’t there before falls into your lap as you move, Mary Puppins no longer occuping it. You realize that somehow, at some point during your sleep, the sofa, which apparently is a pullout, had been transformed into a bed. 

Which Wade and Logan are currently sleeping on, with a dog bed next to it where Mary Puppins is curled up.

How they had managed to do that without waking you, you don’t know. 

You really must have been exhausted.

You rub both your hands over your face, moving one to your neck to knead at the sore muscle there. You bite your lip to keep in the groan that threatens to slip out, glancing at the bed to make sure neither man wakes.

And then you keep looking.

Logan is on his back, one arm around Wade, whose head rests on his chest. Their legs are intertwined, both of them snoring quietly. They are both wearing shirts, though Logan’s have ridden up to show a hairy happy trail, which disappears underneath the edge of the blanket that covers their lower halves.

They both look surprisingly soft.

You shake your head as soon as that thought appears, banishing it to the darkness of the void. Where in the world did that come from?

That’s not a question you can answer, at least not with something that you will like, so instead you focus your energy on getting up from the chair as quietly as possible.

It must fail somehow though, because as you put the blanket down in the chair and stand up fully, there’s a soft call of your name.

Looking over to the pullout, Logan’s head is raised from the pillow. He’s looking at you, in the limited light it’s hard to tell his expression, but you don’t think he’s scowling.  

You think that’s about to change though.

“See you in a week Logan.” You whisper, and take the few steps needed towards the front door, opening it, and then closing it behind you with the softest click you can manage. 

This time you don’t run, even as much as your brain is screaming for you to do so. 

In the opposite direction of where you are actually going.

[munstysmind]

BIRTHDAY CAKE - CHRIS EVANS

WARNING/S: Implied smut, Chris being adorable… that needs a warning, right??

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE USED IN ANY CAPACITY

Divider by @firefly-graphics

MAIN MASTERLIST

please let me know if you would like to be added to a tag list

A loud crash comes from the kitchen, ripping you from your sleep. As soon as your brain registers its sudden return to consciousness, you groan loudly in protest and rub your eyes before reaching over to get phone from the bedside table and check the time.

It's just after ten.

You let out another groan as you stretch your entire body out before relaxing back into your boyfriend's king-sized bed.

You came back to Boston with him at the start of quarantine. Both of you were out of work with the film, and basically every other nonessential, industry being shut down so there was no real reason you had to stay in LA.

That was three months ago now and honestly, you both love living together. So much so that last week he asked you if you wanted to make it permanent. Of course, you'd said yes. The two of you had just slotted into each other's routines and quirks so seamlessly it was like you'd been living together for years. Your two-year relationship has never been stronger.

You're pulled out of your thoughts by another loud crash.

"Damn it" you hear him say, sounding extremely frustrated.

"What the hell is he doing?" you say to yourself as you get up and throw on his shirt from yesterday before heading out to see what all the commotion was about.

Pressing your lips together, you hold back a laugh as you lean against the door frame and take in the sight in front of you.

The kitchen is a complete disaster. Flour is everywhere. The floor, the counter... Chris.

Lord knows what he's trying to do.

"What happened in here?" you ask, causing him to jump and quickly try to hide what he's doing behind his back.

"I thought you were asleep" he says, brushing away the flour from the front of his shirt.

"I was"

"Fuck... I woke you up, didn't I?"

"Yeah"

"I'm sorry"

"It's OK. What are you doing?"

"Nothing"

"Then why are you trying to hide baking supplies behind you?"

"Well... it's your birthday"

"Go on"

"I'm trying to bake you a birthday cake"

"Chris...

"I don't remember it being this hard when I helped Ma as a kid"

"That's because Mama Evans is an amazing baker and did all the work while simultaneously making you think you were helping"

You make your way over to him and brush the flour he's somehow managed to get in his hair before sitting on the bench opposite him.

"You, my love, are a man of many talents but cooking and baking isn't really one of them" you tell him as you rest your arms on his shoulders and play with the hair at the back of his neck.

"I make a mean pesto egg, everyone loves them" he says, wearing the cute pout you love.

"They are an exception"

"I should have just got a box mix, I know I can't fuck that up"

"You went to all this effort just for me, you have no idea how much that means"

"We're stuck in lockdown and your family's on the other side of the country. I just... I wanted to make your day special"

"You make all my days special" you tell him quietly as a smile spreads across your face. You've never met anyone as loving as him. You don't know what you did to deserve him in your life, but you thank whatever greater power is responsible every single day that he is.

"I wanted today to be extra special. It's not every day that you turn thirty" he says with a shit eating grin that makes you roll your eyes.

"Urghhh, don't remind me"

"Hey, how to you think I feel, I'm the big four zero next year"

"I thought we were talking about me"

"We are, I was just saying"

"I can help, with the cake"

"Nope, it's your day".

"Is that so?"

"Yes"

"So does that mean I get to do whatever I want?"

"Yep"

"Then, I'm going to remove my boyfriend's shirt in the middle of the kitchen so he doesn't make a mess on the way to the bedroom".

"And why am I going to the bedroom exactly?"

"Because it's my birthday and I want my man to eat me out then rail me into the bed until I can't remember my own name"

"Well, in that case" he says with a smirk as he lifts his arms up like a child, making you laugh before grabbing the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head.

You lean forward and kiss his chest as he takes his shirt from you and blindly throws it over his shoulder into the pile of flour on the counter.

He takes your face and kisses you, hard, before sliding his hands down your back to your hips and pulling you close, your chests flush with each other.

You let out a quiet moan as he starts pressing open mouthed kisses up your neck, wrapping your legs around his waist when he sinks his teeth into your skin before tracing it with his tongue to soothe the sting.

He knows exactly what to do to make you come undone in 0.5 seconds.

"Fuck, Chris" you gasp, threading you fingers into his hair as he sucks a bruise onto your flesh. You pull his hair, bringing his face back to yours and kissing him.

He pulls away with a grin, making you whimper and follow him, trying to lock lips again.

With a chuckle he puts his hands under your thighs and lifts you off the bench, throwing yo over his shoulder.

"Chris!" you squeal as he starts heading towards the bedroom, Dodger following right behind him.

"No Bub. Trust me, you don't want to see what I'm about to do" he tells your fur baby, slapping you ass as if to prove a point, making you squeal again.

It's about to be the best birthday ever...

GENERAL TAGLIST: @aussieez @rookiemartin @babeyyemor @secretaryunpaid @pixie88 @chickensarentcheap @dhoruwolfie @themaradwrites @cali-nyc5 @darsynia @diamondoftheball @wewannasaygoodnight @sweetbunnyliddle @kingliam2019 @angelcavill66 @mis-lil-red @rcarbo1 @secretdream2 @identity2212 @fanfics-r-us-official @km-ffluv @dream-beyond-the-fantasy @ktficworld @juliaorplI78 @henry-cavs-tudor @red-write-hand @queenzee27 @kandis-mom

[steddieas-shegoes]

firsts and seconds

for @corrodedcoffinfest day one prompt 'firsts'

rated t | 1000 words | cw: alcohol mention | tags: i would die for gareth emerson, i don't think you understand, bisexual king gareth emerson

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

Gareth is the baby of the group, always has been, always will be. He's a year younger than Jeff and Frankie, and four years younger than Eddie. He was behind in everything, but it just was how it was.

He was a drummer and they needed one. The fact that he was the best drummer in a 100 mile radius helped.

But because of them hitting the ground running the moment he graduated, he didn't really get to have much of a regular young adult life.

He didn't really have much of a rockstar one either.

He had three extremely overprotective big brothers constantly by his side making sure he didn't do anything dumb, but they also made sure he didn't do anything at all.

"Promised your mom we would watch out for you," Jeff said.

"Last thing we need is you getting involved with some girl and ruining the band," Frankie said.

"Don't rush it, man," Eddie said.

But Gareth was now 20 years old and had never even kissed a girl. Or a boy, he didn't know what he was into. How could he? None of them would leave him alone long enough in the bars he was technically too young to get into to try.

Tonight. He would find a way to shake them tonight. He'd find a girl in the crowd, he'd buy her a drink, and he'd hope that she'd at least be willing to check this one thing off his list.

If he was gonna be a rockstar, he should get to kiss someone.

They were playing a smaller venue tonight, opening for a band that was bigger than them in theory, but not in talent. Story of their lives.

Hopefully, everyone would be distracted by the main act to not pay attention if he slipped off.

He was dripping sweat, cursing the fact that these small venues never had decent ventilation or fans for them to cool off, and the stage lights were always too close, building up a furnace on the stage.

His drums were packed, his shirt rolled up to help him cool off the best he could while he sipped on water. He hadn't even gotten a beer tonight, a nervous flutter in his stomach that he didn't want to make worse with feeling bloated from the combination of hops and heat.

"Gare!" Jeff's voice interrupted his walk towards the bar.

Dammit.

"You wanna head out? We're all so fuckin' hot."

"Yeah, yeah, let me just grab another water. Feeling kinda lightheaded."

That was definitely not the right thing to say. Jeff's mouth turned down in a concerned frown.

"Well, let's get you outside then. You need some fresh air. Eddie!" Eddie yelled back in acknowledgement. "Get Gareth a water!"

"I'm okay, I can get it." He argued, desperate to let his plan work. "You guys head out, be there in a few."

"Like hell am I leaving you alone when you're not feeling good," Jeff wrapped his arm around his shoulders and started pulling him towards the door. "You gotta speak up sooner."

"Jeff. Please."

Something in his voice must have alerted Jeff to the seriousness of his plan because he quickly pulled his arm away.

"What's going on?"

"I just need to be alone for a bit. Please?" Gareth wasn't afraid to pull out the pout. The pout worked on his mom every time. It had to work now, too. "Just for a little bit?"

Jeff searched his face, probably trying to see if there was something he should be worried about.

"I'll distract them for 15 minutes. But that's all I can guarantee," he finally agreed. "Whatever it is you're planning, please be safe. Please."

"What the hell could I possibly get up to in 15 minutes?"

Jeff sighed. "Don't ever ask that question to Eddie or Frankie."

He walked away and Gareth watched as he convinced them both to walk outside, probably to get some fresh air. He probably didn't have to be that convincing.

God, it was so hot.

The bar area of the venue was crowded, a lot of people taking the break between sets to throw back a shot or chug a beer. He genuinely did just need a water, so he forced his way through the people and got the attention of the bartender.

"Not a fan of beer?" A woman in a black dress and leather jacket asked him. She was smiling, sipping on something that could be water, might be a vodka tonic. The lighting wasn't good enough to see bubbles.

"Not a fan of being hot," Gareth smiled.

"Awful confident of you."

Oh. Oh shit. Was she flirting with him?

"Trying something new tonight, I guess."

"Oh? Anything in particular?"

Gareth liked her smile, her eyes. She seemed a few years older than him, closer to Eddie's age.

"Well…I've never actually kissed anyone before," Gareth figured honesty was the best policy.

"Never?" She didn't believe him, but that was okay. She'd figure it out if she let him make a move.

"Never."

"Let's give it a go then."

So he did.

She leaned in, closed her eyes, and he was having his first kiss. He didn't know her name, he was surrounded by hundreds of people, and he was certain that stars were exploding behind his eyes.

She pulled away after a few seconds, smiling, winking, and walked away.

"Damn, she didn't even give you a name?" A guy to Gareth's left asked, watching as she walked away.

Gareth shook his head. "Didn't need it."

The guy touched his arm and smiled at him, much like the woman had before.

"I'm Evan. You're the drummer, right?"

"Sure am."

"You wanna have a kiss with someone you know the name of?" Evan asked.

Gareth wasn't about to pass up this opportunity, so he nodded.

When Evan kissed him, he saw fireworks.

Stars and fireworks.

"Wanna come outside?" Evan asked.

Gareth shook his head.

Firsts and seconds were enough for now.

[seravphs]

ੈ♡˳·˖✶ — RIN x FEM READER

True love stares you in the face and calls you an idiot. 

wc — 1k

tags — fluff, post enemies to lovers

“Do you find me lovable?”

Rin squints at you. “Where is this coming from?” 

The question is wary, like you’re setting a trap, and he’s the rabbit that’s dumb enough to fall for it. To be fair, when you do mess with him, he does fall for it every single time. 

But not this time. 

“Don’t you think I’m annoying?”

He rolls his eyes at you. “Yeah, actually. Super annoying. Worst mistake of my life.” 

You stretch your leg out to kick him in the shin. He rips it back, yelping. 

“Be serious,” you scold. 

He blinks at you. When Rin is confused, it’s very obvious. He never manages to be ugly - it’s those sexy Itoshi genes - but his confused face comes the closest. He squints like he’s smelled something distasteful and his entire face screws up. His nose crinkles. His mouth puckers. 

Rin is, at heart, a very simple creature. If it’s not about football, he doesn’t tend to think too hard. He’ll make the attempt for you, but in general, he’s a little less developed than other people his age on important concepts like emotional awareness. 

You decide to throw him a bone. “Like when we met, remember?” 

It’s a memory that you laugh at now (okay, not now, because you’re in a mood at the moment, but in every other scenario). At the time, however, you went home and screamed into your pillow to escape from cringing at yourself every five seconds. 

It was your first day working for the Japanese National Football Team. You had been so excited to be here! Of course, it’s more glamorous to be playing the actual sport, but the team can only function at their best because of people like you.

Scanning in with your fancy new lanyard feels so professional. You still haven’t gotten over the excitement of a new job yet, and it’s written all over your face. Your new boss laughs when you tell her profusely how grateful you are to be here. She’s kind and funny. You can already see yourself fitting right in. 

“I don’t have too much for you right now,” she says. “Why don’t you go meet the team?”

Your eyes practically sparkle with delight. “Can I really?” 

“Sure! Just tell them I sent you,” she says. 

The football pitch isn’t attached to the main building, but a short walk away. Your head is in the clouds as you all but float down the sidewalk. You still can’t believe you’re really here, but when you pinch yourself, the world remains as clear and vivid as it was before. This is no dream. 

This is a nightmare, actually. The gates that allow you into training grounds are locked with a code that no one told you. You flutter around it, trying to decide what to do. Should you go back and bother your boss? You don’t want to seem stupid on your first day. You look around, but you don’t see anyone to ask. You pace around the lock again. 

You don’t know where to go. If there was someone you could ask, you wouldn’t know where to find them. How is it only your first day and you’re already messing up? 

“What’s the hold up?”

You gasp and whirl around to find Itoshi Rin, one of the star players who came out of the Blue Lock program. You’re starstruck, but that quickly fades as he pushes past you to put the code in. He doesn’t even hold the door open for you, leaving you to rush to grab it before it swings shut. At least you’re inside the facility now. 

The coworkers you meet are much nicer than Rin. Even though your boss told you not to work today, they’re so friendly you don’t mind pitching in. As the players trickle in to warm up, you run around offering water bottles and balls. It’s starting to feel like an okay day, especially because Rin doesn’t seem to recognize you from this morning. 

When you offer him a bottle, he takes it with a nod of appreciation, so you know it’s not personal. It’s not that reassuring to think that he might just be a bit of an asshole, but at least it’s not targeted. 

Whatever your feelings on Rin are, he’s undeniably an incredible player. When he scores, every member of the staff stops to watch the arc of the ball. It’s perfect. It’s a thing of beauty. 

You’re working up a sweat yourself carrying out the tasks you’re asked to do, so when the team finally wraps up, you’re grateful to finally start heading home. You pick up a stray ball heading your way and deposit it in the nearest basket, but a hand catches yours before you can let the ball drop. 

“Are you stupid? That doesn’t go in there,” Rin says, taking it from you and trotting across the field to another basket. 

Your jaw drops. 

You hate this man. 

But in a few months, he’ll take you on your first date, and you’ll be head over heels. You still don’t remember why or when it happened, just that one day Rin showed up with an apology and a dedication to doing better. 

“When did it change?” You ask, curious now. 

“I dunno,” Rin says. “Probably when you called me stupid after I fumbled the keys you gave me.” 

“What?” You laugh at him. 

“I’m serious! I was like oh, that was kind of shitty of me.” 

“Sometimes I wonder how you’re still alive.” 

“I’m a professional football player, not a therapist,” he says. 

You hold your tongue about how emotional awareness was not a trait relegated to therapists alone. 

“Anyway,” he adds, reaching for you. You stumble and nearly fall on top of him, but he doesn’t mind. “You’re still kind of stupid. But that’s what I like about you.” 

“Rin,” you say, slowly like you’re talking to a very dumb toddler. “You forgot to hit start on the washing machine this morning.”

It doesn’t phase him. “I know I’m stupid too. That’s why we work.”

[caffeiiine]

I read the tags on your Kunikida post… go ahead and explain, my liege

JUST SAW THIS SOMEHOW ABYWAYS TYYY

OKAY so probably going into detail about how kunikida can be considered passively suicidal since i have the most coherent thoughts on that aand warnings for stuff of that nature under the cut :D + length

[also small disclaimer, i have been procrastinating reading dazais entrance exam and so far have only seen the anime adaptation which apparently left a ton of stuff out so feel free to correct me on inaccurate details and/or missed examples or just downright incorrect information]

[note: idk if passive is the correct term bc i was thinking about it and hes not exactly like oh i hope this kills me yk, so whatever that term is lmk <3]

This stuff also sorta ties in with his ideals and their potential self destructive-ness. they tend to cause him to either negligently often risk his life with there being an apparent “other way”, or just outright risk his life with barely a second thought for his ideals.

so kunikida has very strong morals and that’s the core of his character. the main ideals referenced in the show being his infamous “ideal woman”, “how to make dazai ideal”, and the ideal that basically tells him to save people. [i forgot what that one is referred to as]. If we’re talking timeline wise i think one of the first examples of his ideals causing him to negligently risk his life would be in Dazais Entrance Exam, or The Azure Messenger arc if you’re an anime watcher.

First example off the top of my head in dazais entrance exam would be when him and Dazai first see the hostages, specifically the ones in the room

after the gas came down dazai has to actually wrestle kunikida away from the room because otherwise hes gonna die. kunikida repeatedly shouts about how “people shouldn’t die like this”. This might be a bit of a tangent but later on in the episode he remarks how he “may as well ahev set the bomb off himself” when Dazai asks about Rokuzou’s dad, implying he blames himself for Rokuzou’s dad’s death. This is of itself isn’t enough for me to say ��oh yeah he’s passively suicidal” so moving on to the main manga where there are several other instances of his tendencies to throw himself directly in harms way.

[there may be examples before this i just skipped to chapter 40] and starting off strong we have the thing with Aya. This could be written up to circumstance but he had the opportunity to avoid death himself so im counting it. he’s basically hugging death. that’s all i have to say for this.

of course he ends up surviving it because of deus ex machina yosano. After the fact, Aya asks him what he would’ve done if Yosano wasn’t there. To which he replies basically he would’ve done the same thing he just did except died and basically would have been fine with the outcome as long as she didn’t die in front of him. [he would’ve been dead as well and not had to deal with the guilt] i should point out as well, he does this because of his ideals. he specifically cites his ideals around these parts usually. The not letting anybody die before his eyes is one of ideals and the most common one he uses.

[im pulling that from the fact he had no backup plans or anything to actually stop the bomb aside from Yosano, since his words could imply he would’ve tried to save Aya. and the guy with the bombs was using the fact Kunikida holds his ideals very close to him, taht he wouldn’t have allowed Aya to die if he could’ve prevented it.]

aaand i think our last example and best example for tonight

context for the scene: they’re in the getaway helicopter and tecchou is trying to take it down via his sword and Kunikida decides to take matters into his own hands and take down Tecchou. First off, HE DID NOT HAVE TO, CHUUYA IS RIGHT. THERE. HE LITERALLY SHOT TECCHOU WITH GRAVITY BULLETS EARLIER.

HE DID NOT HAVE TO RISK HIMSELF BUT HE DID. also additional context, in this arc and the previous arcs, he’s been faced with situation after situation where his ideals have failed him and he’s been unable to exercise them and save the people he thinks he should.

point being, he feels like complete shit! he probably is thinking like if he should do anything then, it should be he makes sure he gets his friends out of there. regardless of whether he’s dead or alive because he jumps out of the plane and full body tackles tecchou while being in direct contact with fucking chuuya.

chuuya “has to stay out of the fights and arcs half the time because he’s too good at his job” nakahara.

chuuya “just shot tecchou and did a decent job at keeping him back a few pages before” nakahara. you see my point.

oh and then he just attempts to blow the both of them up.

he does not care for his life at all here. not one bit. also he did not need to blow the both of them up. he could’ve made a fucking stun gun or anything else that wouldn’t KILL the BOTH of them??

my whole point is he does not care for his life here and it’s gets worse the more you progress through the manga.

anyways anyways ending off, kunikida repeatedly puts his life in danger either for his ideals or neglectfully and/or without need. this has been a ramble. this man is not okay.

also kinda funny is he’s partners with dazai of all people, actively suicidal princess bungou himself. i really enjoy their differences and how similarly different they are.

^ not actually related to anything but i almost started laughing so hard with my family in the room at this piece, junichiro looks so concerned

[murfpersonalblog]

I don't have to lie on people, that's why I screencap

Nalyra, as I'd screencapped AND linked in the post about Amel in question, your own anon thanked YOU for being the one who said "Amel possessed Lestat for the drop" in the first place. I didn't have to lie on you when your anon said it themselves.

Big talk saying NOW that blaming Amel would be abuse apologia, when months BEFORE you said you thought Ep5 the fight really was "NOT DOMESTIC ABUSE" at all!

--cuz YOU said multiple times how YOU didn't think Louis & Claudia were abused cuz they didn't act scared enough WTF?

Esp. since YOU go on & on about Amel possessing Lestat--

--when ACCORDING TO BOOK CANON AMEL'S NOT EVEN AWAKE when Loustat were living together, and Lestat said MULTIPLE times that he NEVER heard The Voice or felt compelled/contacted by Amel until YEARS AFTER Akasha was DEAD.

So yeah, you admitted the Drop happened once 2x7 aired, good for frikkin you--after campaigning for MONTHS BEFORE that the S2 revisit was gonna prove once & for all that it DIDN'T happen--you & your followers analyzing everything from Lestat's hairstyles to prove that Louis was "wrong" or Armand had inserted "fake" memories of the Drop or whatever it took to declare Lestat innocent--

You walking all your theories back NOW, AFTER the S2 revisit, doesn't negate the fact that it was YOUR theories (even BEFORE Sam's interview) that opened the can of worms in the first place on people thinking the Drop wasn't even real, let alone Amel's fault--all in an effort to point the finger at someone or something OTHER than Monsieur Lestat de Lioncourt HIMSELF for Ep5!

And I ALSO pointed out how in the same breath of walking back the Amel blame you STILL accused Louis of starting the fight, like wtf? It's STILL finding ways to absolve Lestat of responsibility, by victim blaming a father for protecting his daughter from being attacked--when even SAM said "it's not worth" wondering what would've happened if Louis had just backed down. Cuz that's ABUSE APOLOGIA & victim blaming and it makes you look weird as hell!

Anyone who thinks a parent protecting his own child from having her neck snapped is the one who "kindles" a fight is severely screwed in the head!

First you say Amel's possessing Les, then you walk it back and double down on saying Louis kindled/started the fight cuz he had the NERVE, the unmitigated GALL to throw himself at Lestat while his own kid was being choked TF out in front of him. But I'M lying on you for for calling out how you pivot every time one of your wack theories is proven WRONG?

And I DO know what Sam said--cuz I posted the whole transcription--which is that the Akasha bit was REMOVED from the S1 script, cuz spirit possession is effing irrelevant in a story about *gasp* DOMESTIC ABUSE, and that if AMC decides to use it to absolve/excuse Lestat in later seasons it'll be blasted for precisely what it is: ABUSE APOLOGIA to handwave that what Les did to Lou wasn't his fault. ANY entertainment of a theory like that is an IMMEDIATE red flag about why one would be so gung-ho to make the Drop less awful than it really was--and THAT is why I take issue with you & your anons who subscribe(d) to it, past, present or future.

But there y'all go, always acting persecuted and saying YOU'RE pissed, when all you're doing is ENCOURAGING & CREATING the bad takes in the fandom that have people constantly saying that someone who got abused by their S.O. is the one who should be to blamed!

Oh, so you understand what endorsement means wrt not being perceived as an abuse apologist--but you suddenly have a seizure when the racially coded language you historically & particularly love using wrt to Bipoc fans is called on the carpet (a la "them" "those people" "that subset" "that side of the fandom," etc), huh?

Your thinly veiled effing racist rhetoric ain't slick; you've been talking that way about Bipocs for ages now, like people don't know who the heck #Them is, when you and your fellows bigots throw shade at anyone who dares to look at Lestat with a critical eye & speak openly about the racial optics of a Black man getting his arse beat by a white man y'all are so quick to say is innocent & the Black man's either crazy or lying or both.

Cuz YES, Ep5 has created a domino effect in the fandom that's NOT gonna stfu & go away; and just cuz popular consensus says the sky is purple doesn't mean other people don't have eyes and can't see for themselves what the heck is going on around them.

Rolin wanted to start a dialogue about power dynamics, abuse, and yes darlings, even race, and here it is--stay mad.

Sweetie, I don't even have you blocked. I don't need to use a burner account when I can just type interview with the vampire or iwtv in the search bar on the dashboard and your posts are up & down the dang screen along with everyone else's. Learn how Tumblr works before you try that on me again.

[a-kinda-boring-writer]

Hey.

I'm not pro-ship nor anti or whatever. Both sides sound very silly to me. I frankly care very little about any of that discourse. May throw out some takes about that stuff for shit and giggles, but I won't debate people on it, as I'm here for the funnies. Oh and I'm a bit trigger happy when it comes to blocking. Just so you know <3

Also, I'm an adult. You should probably be one too.

Anyways...

I write fics sometimes. Warrior cats fics. Rated T-ish (sometimes a bit more). Editing and spell-checking are against my religion lmao. And I think mildly suggestive humor is hilarious, so you'll find some of that there. They're still kinda boring, tho. And unnecessarily long. On the flip-side, there are lots of gay kitties in them too.

So... yeah. You'll find them here, if you wanna check them out, for whatever reason. Mind the tags, tho. PLEASE mind the tags.

My main thing is a Power of Three in RiverClan AU/Rewrite. This includes:

-the Three being Feathertail/Crowfether kits, raised in RiverClan (duh) -Med cat Hollyleaf, Warrior Jayfeather, and Lionblaze... well, he's there too, doing his best. -a bunch of headcanons (both personal and popular fandom stuff) -community jokes taken seriously (exactly what it says on the tin) -complete lack of interest in making a "better" arc than the original, just the desire to have fun and explore whatever theme is in my head at the time. -actually, I kinda take the canon and make it worse tbh.

Here is the link to the series. Again, please, mind the tags. It gets heavy at times.

[-----------]

Besides the big stuff (tm), some yet unposted WIP ones-shots that I'm currently workshopping and/or working on include:

-Squirrelflight x Mothwing x Leafpool. (A soldier and a nun abandon their religion and become Farm Girls for pu-... for love, of course) -Lionblaze (PPD, yay!) -Heathertail x the 4 Crowspawn -An epilogue for Ravensight (oc. He just keeps getting worse) -Mothwing x Icestar (Very old woman yuri) -Jayfeather x Kestrelflight (Bird bois deserve to be happy) -Leafstar x Firestar >>> Leafstar x Squirrelflight (bit unhealthy) -Tawnypelt x Nightcloud (fuck it) -Ivypool x Hollytuft (Hollytuft and sibs are CinderHolly kits!) -There's a Ashfur Mpreg one too (that one is hard to explain...) - Something with Spottedleaf (it`s the ciiiiiircllleeee of... abuse...)

[-----------]

Also participating on the Year of the OTP 2025. I'm writing 12 one-shots featuring Frostdawn x Whistlebreeze! It's one per month and all of them will be here. Ratings and themes will vary substantially.

That's all for now.

<3

[noaltbruh]

hi you should totally do what its like do what its like to live with the bucci gang in a house all together thxx

*Kicks the air, giggles, screams into a pillow, throws up, dies and comes back to life just to write this post*

No bro I don't think you understand, you've just awoken my most unhinged side ever, literally I think about what it would be like to live with this wonderful family 24/h. There is nothing else in my brain, just them doing shit.

So yeah! I hope you enjoy ^^"

Life with the Bucci gang! 🐞🤐🔫🍊🍓⏪🎙 (or rather, a survival guide about living with them)

Alright, the main rule in this house is: "Don't kill each other. If you absolutely need to, at least hide the body well before it starts smelling like Mista"

Any other rule is either ignored, purposely broken, straight up not acknowledged, or only followed because Bruno said so and you don't disobey him.

Congratulations, you just got yourself free entertainment for the rest of your life and at any time of the day. Who needs Tv when you can just watch these guys do literally anything?

What are you in the mood for today? Trish kicking Mista with a shoe because he accidentally ruined her dress? Narancia blowing up with Aerosmith that one spider Fugo is afraid to squash? Giorno turning everything he sees into frogs? Abbacchio trying not to look like a total simp every time Bruno breathes?

With that being said, I hope you're not an introvert, my friend. There's no freaking way in hell they aren't going to drag you on their shenanigans. No, you can't choose, you will take part in whatever the heck they're doing, they're forcefully gonna make you tag along if you were to ooppose.

Buddy say goodbye to your privacy, that stopped existing as soon as you walked through the front door. 99% of the times there will ALWAYS be someone with you. Whether they're actually talking to you or are just in the same room as you doesn't matter. Rest assured that being alone will become a rare occurrence, no matter how antisocial you may be.

Don't try to lock the door of your room, they'll gladly destroy it and then ask Bruno to replace it with a zipper. Alternatively, some of them might even climb up from a window if they're feeling goofy that day.

I advice locking any snacks you may want to keep to yourself in a drawer or another place you know of. If you don't, there's a very high chance that whatever you were trying to keep to yourself will get stolen by the pistols sooner or later.

Another advice I can give you is to write down all important dates related to them, or little things you know they like. It must not be easy to remember those sorts of things when you live with so many people.

Most days you're gonna find Trish practising her singing in either the music room (yes they have a music room) or her own. Don't be shy and ask her if you can listen to her, she'll always reply with a yes :)

They have a very big and well taken care of garden. If you feel like spending some time with Giorno, helping him water the plants is a great idea! Prepare for lots of fun facts about gardening, while you're at it.

I suggest laying there particularly during summer nights. There's always a nice breeze to send the excessive heat away, and the stars look very nice from there. Someone else will most likely join you as well, you can stargaze together!

If you feel like having a conversation that requires more than two brain cells, Fugo's always there for you. He's used to some of the others calling him boring and such, but a nice chat about Latin, Politics, Philosophy or anything alongside those lines is always welcomed. Even if you don't know anything about those subjects but are willing to listen, he'll be happy.

Prepare for Narancia bursting in your room with a new dance, a song to listen to, or cool trick he's come up using Aerosmith, and way too much excitement. The latter one is only allowed if you're in the garden, but try to stop him from shooting any plants while you're there.

Drunk conversations with Abbacchio at 3 am. are a MUST. He'll only ever share his alcohol if he's feeling dizzy already, so wait until he starts getting a bit off and you're good to go. Do you remember anything you talked about after that night? Nope. Maybe you discussed the meaning of life, maybe you just yelled at the Tv watching old races of formula one, or maybe you've found the cure for cancer...But you'll never know.

Bruno is a safe space in the house. If you want to catch a break and take it easy from the others' chaos, he's the most reliable one. You don't have to necessarily do anything together if you don't want to, but his presence alone guaranteed to make you relax.

Don't go into the basement, please. It used to be a nice and tidy place where Bruno kept old stuff he didn't need anymore, but it progressively became more and more messy once the gang came along. Now legends say that old artifacts and mystical objects, such as Mista's hair, ended up there and were never found again.

The house has a lot of very pretty balconies with a wonderful view of the city. A couple of times a day you should go out and take some fresh air admiring Napoli, it's very soothing.

The roof is also a perfect place to if you look for a great sight of the town. If you're brave enough, you can climb up from one of the balconies. If you're not, that's fine: there's a safer ladder that will bring you there in the backyard, and you always have the support of the others if you felt scared anyway :)

Speaking of which...Yes, they may come off as extremely annoying and overbearing sometimes, but remember that once you settled in, you're family to them and there's no changing that.

They will ALWAYS be there for you, no matter what the problem or your reaction to it might be. Rest assured that you won't have to face it nor suffer alone, they'll all there to lend a hand for you and help you through it. Even if you're just feeling sad for no reason, someone will undoubtedly try to cheer you up, and succeed in doing so.

Sure, maybe some of them are not the best at expressing that they care, but they truly do and will show it to you in one way or another, whether it's direct or subtle, they will let you know you can count on them.

Movie and game nights are...Something else for sure! Every time one or two people get to pick what you're gonna play or watch, and since they have very different tastes, you can be sure as you can be that you'll enjoy yourself and have fun.

For example, one week you're watching the most gut-wrenching disturbing, complex and traumatizing movie of all time, picked by Abbacchio just to scare you all for his own amusement. Narancia will be screaming, Trish is acting like she's fine but is actually holding on to someone, Giorno is getting shushed by everyone because he's got a third eye and is somehow predicting the whole plot. A loud "SHUT THE FUCK UP, GIORNO!" from our goth man is gonna be obligatory.

The other week, instead, Mista and Narancia decided you were going to play Smash, and you WILL be playing Smash. Poor Bruno is trying to find the pattern to the attacks and fails to realize that those two dorks just spam random buttons hoping to win. Needless to say, they end up losing anyway. Also, Fugo almost threw the controller and broke the Tv a couple of times, but shhh it's okay they're rich, they can buy a new one.

The sweetest part about these "events", however, is that at the end of the night, you're all super tired. You'll just end up falling asleep all together in the salon, cuddling up against each other to feel warm, without even realizing it. The Morning after, whoever wakes up first usually makes breakfast for the rest, so you all also eat together before actually starting your day ^^

Get this through your system: no matter the time of the day, someone will be up. There isn't a single moment during those 24 hours in which they are all asleep. You'll find Mista sleeping at 3 pm on the living room couch, just to see him stealing salami from the fridge at 2 am while you were just trying to get a glass of water. He won't even let you leave and just ramble about his latest theory about salami.

Yes, your sleep routine is gonna get fucked up too, cope. Also, very often you'll hear noises coming from other rooms, although it's probably just Bruno and Abbacchio banging like there's no tomorrow . When that happens, spend time with someone until you both fall asleep, or get yourself something to block out the noise. (I'd choose the first option, but you do you).

The house has a sort of balcony that acts as an entrance to the garden. On some nights, you may find someone (usually the quietest members) hanging around there. Stop to talk to them for a while, they're weirdly more open about their feelings at that time of the day.

Mista, Narancia and Trish are going to CONSTANTLY ask you to hang out, these guys enjoy the outdoors way too much. Before you know it, you're dressed up to go party in the hugest, loudest, most crowded disco you're ever seen.

Or maybe they're dragging you to a bar and gossip about people all night, OR they're planning to infiltrate in some rich guy's party they only found out about because Trish is famous and knows way too many people.

Don't worry if you get nervous though, they'll stick around by your side to make sure you feel comfortable, and they'll leave if they see you starting get overwhelmed. All of you need to have a good time or it's no fun.

Group reading with Fugo and Giorno. I repeat: group reading with Fugo and Giorno.

Okay, the stuff they recommend might not be the most exciting, but I can guarantee you that if you manage to actually read it, the discussions and conversations you're going to have about it will make up for it. You can basically see their eyes light up and soon as you begin talking and discussing its themes, you'll find yourself carried about by their excitement without even realizing it.

While it's something they usually do alone, sometimes Bruno and Abbacchio will take you fishing with them. It's a complete moment of chill away from the excitement of your everyday life, not to mention that Bucciarati is a great fisherman and dinner that night will be delicious.

If you think these guys are enough chaotic as they are, brace yourself for Holidays time.

Get ready to help decorate the whole house, which, considering its dimensions, is no easy job. The best thing you can do in this case is go with the flow and, most of all, follow Narancia's lead: the two of you will be setting up everything for even DAYS, if it's necessary.

Prepare for constant snowball fights, dudes blasting Christmas music ridiculously loud, alcohol disappearing at an even faster rate than usual, presents flying all over the salon aand lastly...An actual quiet Christmas night where you'll simply be watching a movie together and drinking hot cocoa in front of the fireplace.

Don't be tricked, the next day the extroverted trio is already asking you to go with on them on a Christmas themed party. Good luck.

You guys fight over the best spot under the air conditioner during Summer time, and the winner always turns out to be Trish. Alternately, if someone's able to compromise enough, you'll go get something fresh to change the mood a bit.

One last thing I'd like to mention is that, in the middle of the living room, there is a big frame with all eight of you smiling together. If things ever get rough, look up and remember that your family is always there for you :)

[mountmortar]

as someone who only ever beat four swords adventures. can i hear the lore on why the newer games are annoying. if you dont want to get into it in public though i totally get it lol

OKAY SO LIKE. let me put this under a cut.

so me thinking the newer games are annoying is a personal thing. i'll put that out there to begin with. i completely understand why they're games that people love a lot—for people who like open-world games with lots of exploration and building shit and whatnot, and don't really care for games that have Plot and Stories and Meaning behind them, they're probably damn near perfect games.

but like. MY main problem with the games, specifically (which could be easily ignored if not for my MAIN BIG PROBLEM WITH THE FANDOM which i'll. get into after this), is that while i will concede that they may be Good Games to those who play them (i watched a playthrough of breath of the wild Once and am currently trying to get through it myself and not only am i bored to tears but i hate the art style and when i say the soundtrack fucking sucks. the soundtrack Fucking Sucks. like it is legitimately the WORST fucking game soundtrack i've ever heard in my LIFE which makes doing anything in the game absolutely unbearable to me) they are, absolutely, terrible ZELDA games.

the legend of zelda franchise for almost forty years now has built up a series dedicated not ONLY to exploration within the game, but also music and wonderful stories that each game tells. like pokémon, in its own way—but even in pokémon, when the story is bland (xy, swsh) or just plain bad (usum) you can always count on it to have a great soundtrack. breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom took both "plot" and "music" and just threw them out the window. the overworld music in breath of the wild is nothing except a few piano notes every five minutes. the battle music when you encounter an enemy is the most boring, lackluster shit i've ever heard in my life (AND THE MUSIC FOR THE BOSS BATTLES IS SOMEHOW EVEN WORSE). basically imagine pokémon legends arceus except instead of all the wonderful overworld music we got for all the different areas, you just have dead silence. that's pretty much what running around in breath of the wild is like.

and the story? get ready for the blandest characters you've ever met in your life. you will not get attached to a single one of those cardboard cutouts. anything that adds meaning to the story is locked behind paid DLC which automatically makes it not even worth my time or money. basically, breath of the wild was like "what if we took the original legend of zelda from 1986 and its sequel from 1987 and added modern mechanics to it. and throw in a new plot that isn't even worth getting attached to." i would literally prefer playing those old 2D games over that game. their plots were entirely constrained to the game manuals because they couldn't fit them into the actual games themselves because they were 80s games and they were STILL more interesting than botw/totk.

but whatever! it's not a big deal. i can ignore the games. it's not up to me to dictate what people should and should not play as part of a franchise. again, people love the games for a reason, and that reason is usually because breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom are like "what if legend of zelda but throw in some minecraft elements about it". like....okay. WHATEVER!

my problem is with the fandom. the Giant Portion Of The Fandom That Has Only Played BOTW and TOTK and NOTHING ELSE. you literally cannot escape it. you know the types of people that spam the tags of every game in their game series just to make EVERYONE look at their post about One Particular Game? yeah it's like a literal army of those people. i MAINLY stick to posting about the older games from the 80s/90s/early 2000s (i.e. four swords/four swords adventures, the original legend of zelda + its sequel, a link to the past, the minish cap, ocarina of time/majora's mask/etc etc etc you get me) and everywhere you look there's somebody doing everything in their power to bring botw/totk into it/spamming the tags with botw/totk posts/just spreading blatant misinfo regarding the older games???? because they've never played them???? and like whatever i can ignore that too but i mean!!!! at some point it just gets so ridiculously irritating!!!!!! basically it's like. do you know how the pokémon company keeps bringing kanto into literally every game somehow + will not stop with the charizard hype to the point where everyone is sick and tired of charizard. that's pretty much what's happening except it's botw/totk. and i am so tired of hearing about the metaphorical charizard HAHAHA

[kuramirocket]

I came across posts you wrote a long time ago about Piper Halliwell and had to reach out to thank you. It seems like literally everyone LOVES Piper Halliwell, praising her as not just their favorite Charmed one but one of the best TV characters ever, and finding someone else who dislikes her was honestly the most validating experience I've had on this site! I recently rewatched a bunch of episodes and couldn't get over just how awful Piper is past the very first season. Fans are like 'all hail our sass queen!' like it's somehow a good thing that she goes out of her way to be ridiculously mean and bitter. She never, ever, ever stops complaining about everyone and everything, and it's not just that she's always in a terrible mood---it's that she directly takes that mood out on Leo and her sisters constantly, insulting and criticizing them nonstop. (Can you believe some people here think Piper was "too good" for Leo?! The man is a saint for patiently putting up with that shrew!) And she's always praised for her heart, but while the other three actually care about innocents, Piper is always the one whining about just wanting a "normal life" and throwing literal tantrums over things like wanting a better wedding or which of two great guys she should choose while there are literal LIVES at stake lol. Speaking of which, on a show about women destined to be witches, who thought it was a good idea to have one of the three main characters whine about how much she hates being a witch in Every. Single. Episode?! She's just such a completely unpleasant character with literally the worst attitude I've ever seen, and I can honestly say she ruins the show for me. (Disliking the turn they took with Phoebe's character didn't help either!) She was unapologetically terrible even before Prue's death, and it blows my mind that fans hate Prue for being too "harsh" when Piper is like a million times worse! Thank you for bravely speaking out so that all three of us who dislike her know we're not alone!!

Hello :)

Wow, I cannot believe it's been 5 years since I watched Charmed when I made those posts. And I never did finish watching the rest of the series 😭 So, naturally it's on my to rewatch and actually finish it this time around watch list. Lol

And I'm glad I could make you feel validated. When you, unfortunately, hate or dislike a character for whatever reason, especially one a majority of fans like, it's always nice to find like minded people. It's why I'm not quiet in my opinions. I want people to have a fun and safe space in fandoms even if that's just to discuss dislike for a fan favorite! Which is why if I am anti a specific character I try to tag properly so fans who do like the character can avoid my personal thoughts. And ofc, this means also never directing said dislike towards the fans who like specific characters. I just let people enjoy what they enjoy even if I do not.

Anyways, I'm surprised people view Piper as sassy. From what I remember, I never saw her as sassy, just annoying her complaints and plotline. And yeah! Prue maybe was 'harsh,' but she's the eldest and had that responsibility of caring for her younger sisters. She had a lot of weight on her shoulders. It's why she was serious a lot of the times and seemed to be hit the hardest by their mother's death from what I recall.

I wish I could comment more, but since it's been years don't remember a lot of details.

This ask made me smile, tbh. Again, glad you were happy to find my rants validating xD

[dulcebot]

hello dulce! i must ask a question 😢 ive been following the fic community for a While but i dont know how to START!!! like idk i got graphics i got story but it seems so intimidating… do u have any advice? thank u in advance and keep being so cool and creative!!!

omg hello friend!!!!!! i am sorry that it took me a second to get back to u + i hope u didn’t think that i was ignoring ur ask or something! i will try to be as helpful as i can be, especially as someone who was once in ur shoes because i did come out of nowhere tbh………

when i decided to join the fic community, what i did was throw my girls into the tag and pray for the best 😭🙏 literal no thoughts, just a sneak peek youtube thumbnail and a dream because not only i also found the community very intimidating, but i asked myself, what’s the worse that could happen? so i just did it. and u should do that, too.

my forever advice is not to overthink. it’s YOUR blog! they are YOUR ideas! they are YOUR characters! they are YOUR creations and your graphics! because as long as you’re not moving weird, who is going to check you? 🤷 saying this from experience because this is something i still struggle with, but at the end of the day, this is my blog and i can post whatever and whenever i want. i say whenever because you shouldn’t feel pressured to post everything in one go. take ur time!

i also think that as long as you tag your posts accordingly and make them eye-catching (and i dont mean graphics by this! write/come up with something fun and interesting and people will be seated🧎‍➡️), your posts will be seen within the community

try not to compare your work (ocs, graphics, writing, formats, etc) with other’s + don’t think too much if you get a few notes. at some point you will be having a DAMN.. THIS FLOPPED… moment but i think that as long as you are content with what u shared to the community, you will be fine 🤷 just pull an icymi reblog to give it a little push if you think it’s needed! plus, with time your notes will start growing, trust!

i don’t know if this could be considered an advice but, personally, i’ve done nothing but vibe and do my own thing ever since i got here and i think that’s the main reason why i am having fun! i come here to share a thing or two, lurk a lil and then back off then repeat. i don’t take this hobby seriously nor i depend on anyone when it comes to my group / my ideas so like. yeah. just do ur own thing to try and keep ur peace! 🙏

and my forever ever ever ever advice is to HAVE FUN!!!! all that matters is that u are enjoying what you are doing / writing, because at the end of the day ur joining the community to share something ur happy about with us :) ur doing this for urself not for others.

i know these are very general advices (if you need any specific ones just let me know by sending another ask or dming me!) but i hope they were helpful. these are the ones i’ve been following ever since i posted hiraeths group profile and i’ve been doing alright if i do say so myself! 🫨

[tripstitan]

An Author's Rambling

I'm not really sure how to do this social media'ing thing. I don't use this site, or really have any desire to do so, so I feel like some hack making self-advertisements with the help of guides and AI and stuff, just throwing them into the wind where they'll be seen by no-one, because I don't have a follower base that would reblog them. It might seem self-defeatist to not want to really do the social media thing, but I'm asocial, a hermit, content to not interact with other humans for the most part, plenty neurodivergent. I guess this ramble is also me technically coming out in public pretty widely. Yeah, like Reggie, the narrator/main protag in my webnovel series, I'm an aro-ace with neurodivergencies up the wazoo, disabled in a few ways.

What am I hoping to accomplish? Just to get "An Age of Mysterious Memories" out there to people that need it, that need to be seen, to feel represented. But, like I said, posting here feels like throwing fliers into the wind, hoping that they'll land somewhere that someone picks it up and goes, "Huh, neat, maybe I'll check that out someday when I'm bored or depressed."

I'm actually surprised that a couple of my posts have been seen by at least one person that wasn't on my follower list, which, hey, shoutout to you new fam.

This social media stuff really burns me out and detracts from my writing, but between this, and some pretty-expensive google advertising, I don't know how else to offer up my story to the world.

I don't even care about "conversions" or conversion to click ratio or whatever. I have 0 patrons on Patreon, and that's fine. I've been skating by in life on the thin ice of every new day (Thank you Jethro Tull's Ian Anderson, heh.)

I guess maybe I should ask how I should even do this. Should I get more personal? Post more ramblings, with popular tags, and just hope that those bring traffic, and then hope that that traffic sees that I have a free webnovel up?

A lot of the guides suggest quantity, and a regular posting schedule for this social media stuff that's way too hard for me to keep up without burning out, because I have chapters going up every day or every other day, basically, nonstop. In the approximately two years since i started getting serious with my webnovel series, I've averaged at least a chapter every other day. Some days I write ten to twenty chapters, maybe a few days in a row, then I don't write anything for a month or two, because titling them, posting them, advertising them, burns me out. I could keep writing, forever and ever, even if that means writing chapters I can't post yet (I have so many chapters written for the next volume in my series that it's not even funny.) Or I could write side-projects, or fanfic I guess. I took my first foray into that a while back, and I kind of want to do a reread on my fanfic and plot out a conclusion to it, instead of leaving it hanging like it is. But fanfic isn't my baby, it's not what I want to get seen.

What I want seen is AAoMM, because it's... it's the representation, it's me putting myself out there, my internals, my neurodivergencies into a narrator, my Q status in the lgbtqia, having intrusive thoughts and not acting on them, and just so much more, that I know other people identify with, and honestly need. The representation matters, and I just want to provide that, because I know people who have been, or are hurting, or struggling, or are just in a funk, or depressed, or bored, or any number of things, that share so many of the traits that Reggie carries, that I carry. Several of my readers have said that it feels like the thoughts that are expressed are them in the situations Reggie is in. I don't think I've seen another adventure novel series where we get stream-of-consciousness moment-to-moment inner narration of a neurodivergent narrator that falls into the lgbtq community.

What a niche, right? Except... it's not. We're all having our own inner adventures. We all do have a stream of consciousness, whether we acknowledge it or not, and there are *Tons* of people out there who are neurodivergent in the lgbtqia community. Hell, at this point in Earth's history, I'd be surprised if anyone has survived unscathed without any neurodivergencies, trauma, or panic. We went through a global epidemic, a pandemic. That must have been rough on you peeps out there that actually leave your homes and do stuff with other humans. My sympathy to you guys. I'm a hermit, my life got a little bit easier, because things started allowing web-based doctor's visits, and delivery of groceries, and other stuff to help with social distancing. I'm rambling, but I just want to give AAoMM to everyone who needs it.

I want to nerd out about my webnovel series with people, and answer questions ranging from silly, to heart-wrenching. Why? Because I am in a good place, I've gotten somewhere in life that I feel content, despite all my comorbid things, all the depression and trauma and anxiety and social-phobia and adhd and spectrum'ness and the struggle with identity, especially my AA agendered ace identity, that I've slid around on, and worried I'd invalidated myself over the years, and everything else I've got, gone through, carry around, or deal with. Reggie's narration is that--, that beacon of, no matter how hard things get, what slams your mind with intrusive thoughts, that there's hope, that there's warm, soft times, contented times, happy times, ecstatic times, somewhere along the tunnel that is life's journey. Also that you can slide around on the scale of your agenderness or aromanticness, or your sexuality, and that that's okay, that you still are who you feel you are, or say you are, no matter what others think, that there can be romances and fluff and all kinds of things that are exceptions to rules, whether those rules are imposed by others, or yourself.

It feels like I'd look like I was shilling or pandering though if I interjected all the tags though, for every chapter, because not every chapter does it really come up that Reggie(and most of the inner circle) is at least technically agendered, or that there are several LGB relationships for side characters, or--. Well, it is always pretty evident that Reggie's brain is neurodivergent, we hear every thought that Reggie ever thinks, including the intrusive ones, almost every thought anyway.

But I also sort of want to put AAoMM in front of non-ally neurotypicals who are ablebodied and cishet, and be like:

"God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in our shoes 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues" (Thanks Everlast, for those lyrics.)

Not in a malicious way or anything. I don't want them to suffer, I don't want anyone to suffer. Plus, I'm sure they're going through their own things, just like everyone else. I just want to try to remind people to be empathetic to each other, to think for that brief moment, before interacting with another human being, that -they are another human being-. That they deserve to be treated equally to how they're interacting with the world around them, more or less. Everyone deserves human rights, and the dignity of being acknowledged as existing with their own struggles.

I got pretty soapboxy here I guess, probably best if I shut up now and just hit post. (Could you guess that I'm an author by the verbosity of this goofy-arse post that was just supposed to be me semi-ironically whining about social media on social media?)

[e-m-p-error]

TAGS LIST

MAIN BLOG TAGS

Mr. Meek Speaks (OOC)

It's Best To Keep Me Pleased (Answered Asks)

They Call You Sexy And You Don't Care What They Say (Memes)

Perfectin' My Passion Thanks For Askin' (Headcanon Memes)

Live In Dog Years And I Feel Twenty-Six Yeah I'm Old Bitch But I Learn New Tricks (Munday Meme)

I’m Key Look At Me! (Self Promo)

What Do We Have Here? (Promo)

NSFW Tag - (NSFVoxtagram)

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CHARACTER TAGS

I Feel So Alive Right Now I Feel Like A God Right Now (αℓℓ мυѕєѕ)

Sweet Real Legend Persecute The Weak And Willing (αиgєℓѕ)

Go Ahead And Hate Me Hate Me Baby So So Salty But Sweet (fαикι∂ѕ)

I'm Not A Rich Kid Maybe That's A Good Thing Ain't Got Shit But I Got This Far (нєℓℓвσяи)

"Angel" He Calls Me Does He Know That I'm Falling From A Precipice That I Tripped Off Long Ago? (∂ємσи яσуαℓту)

I Have No Time For Confession For I'm Too Busy Committing Sins (ѕιииєяѕ)

ANGEL TAGS

Whatever People Tell Me That The Bible Tells Me I Will Do (αвѕтємισυиєѕѕα)

Reciting Violence Like Poetry (α∂αм)

I've Found A Rainbow A Rainbow Baby Trust Me I Know Life Is Scary (ємιℓу)

Do You Mistake Your Flaws For Property? (αя¢нαиgєℓ υяιєℓ)

I'm Standing In The Face Of All That My Story Holds In Its Wake (ναℓσяє)

FANKID TAGS

Wakes Up At Noon Gets Up When He Has To Makeup On His Nightstand Cocaine In His Bathroom (тσиιтσ)

There's Something Tragic About You Something So Magic About You Don't You Agree? (є∂єи)

What We Loved Today We'll Lose Tomorrow But I Won't Need To Wait For My Share Of Sorrow Because I Always Kill The Things I Love (∂ιмαѕ)

Can't Stop Coming In Hot I Should Be Locked Up Right On The Spot (ℓυ¢єяσ)

So Throw Your Hands Up And Eat Your Heart Out Are You Star-Struck Or Did You Black Out? (ρєввℓєѕ)

She Just Wants Vodka And Cigarettes Has Her Dealer On Speed Dial When She Gets Stressed (ναиєммα)

Just Dance If You're Caught Up In The Holy Ghost Trance If You Stop I'll Put The Killer Ants In Your Pants (νυggυ¢н)

HELLBORN TAGS

Who Needs Pepsi Juice Or Sprite? If You Do You’re Weak That’s Right (вαявιє)

You Can Hate Me After You Pay Me (¢αѕн)

I’m Gonna Take Their Hearts For Ransom 'Cause Everybody’s Always Askin’ When You Gonna Show Us Magnum? (¢нαzz)

My Boy’s A Homosexual And That Don’t Scare Me None I Want The World To Know I Love My Dead Gay Son (¢яιмѕσи)

Money Can't Buy Happiness But It Can Rent You Paradise (gℓιтz)

We Put Her Down In A Shallow Grave She Wears A Dress Like A Body Bag Everyday (gяєт¢нєи)

Now We Don't Care If You're A Girl Or A Toy If You're A Game Or A Boy If You're A Nerd Or A Whore (кιтту)

Everyone's A Winner We're Makin' Our Fame Bona Fide Hustler Making My Name (ѕтυ)

ROYALTY TAGS

Perfect Isn’t Easy But It’s Me (αи∂яєαℓρнυѕ)

I Am Aware That I Am An Asshole I Really Don't Care About All Of That Though (αтнαи)

Watch Me Make ‘Em Bow One By One By One (вαєтуℓ)

Try Not To Move So Fast You Know Dessert Comes Last! (вєєℓzєвυв)

You Can Fool Yourself I Promise It Will Help Every Single Day I Just Wanna Hear You Say I'm So Lucky Lucky I'm So Lovely Lovely (¢нαяℓιє)

They Say The Best Things Are Free But I Don’t Get What They Mean 'Cause I Want Everything (мαммσи)

And The Word On The Street Is That You Sleep With Everyone You Meet (σzzιє)

Define Your Meaning Of War To Me It’s What We Do When We’re Bored (ραιмσи)

You Think You're Better Than Me I Never Heard Of You (ναѕѕαgσ)

SINNERS TAGS

If You End Up On My Table Then It Serves You Right (αℓαѕтσя)

I’m So Sad Wish Someone Would Take Me Out (αиgєℓ ∂υѕт)

I Could Leave But I'm Not Strong Enough To Run (αиуα)

Take Just One Last Dare Pretend That You Don't Care (ℓєgισи∂αяισ)

Your Magic White Rabbit Your White Room Straight Jacket (мαgριє)

When You’re Good To Mama Mama’s Good To You (мιмzу)

He Ran Into My Knife He Ran Into My Knife Ten Times (иιfту)

I Love You Oh So Madly But I Don't Stand A Ghost Of A Chance With You (σѕтєℓℓσ)

Now I Am A Man-Eater In More Than Just One Way He Tastes Like Pig But That’s Okay I Eat Him Every Day (яσѕιє)

Come Come Kitty Kitty You're So Silly Silly Don't Go Kitty Kitty Play With Me (ѕυммєя)

Don't Be Goofy Bring Some Passion To The Table (тяανιѕ)

And If You Get In My Face Then You'll Get A Taste Even God Would Run Son (ναℓєитιиσ)

Hollywood Made A Killing Machine She's Like A Teenage Slaughter Movie Scene A Serial Killer Celebrity (νєℓνєттє)

Red Eyes In The Digital Paradise (νι¢к)

Let's Stop Saying “Don't Quote Me” Because If No One Quotes You You Probably Haven't Said A Thing Worth Saying (νσχ)

Open The Door Get On The Floor Everybody Kill The DInosaur (zєєzι)

ALT!VERSE CHARACTER TAGS

Human Valentino and Vox. Broken Verse Velvette, Ostello, and Chazz's Brother. Overlord Travis.

I Know A Place Where The Grass Is Really Greener Warm Wet And Wild There Must Be Something In The Water (єяαѕмσ)

I Like Men On Their Knees Praying Up To Their God Seein' Visions Of Me (¢ℓємєит)

I Eat Boys Like You For Breakfast I Chew And Lick Your Bones (gσввℓєттє)

Every Version Of My Dead And Buried In The Yard Outside We'd Sit Back And Watch The World Go By (ℓσωєℓℓ)

I'm On A Sugar Crash I Ain't Got No Fuckin' Cash (мι¢кєу)

The Devil Taking The Lord's Name In Vain All These Thoughts Pollute Your Brain (вσgαят)

PET TAGS

‘Cause Everybody Needs Someone That They Can Trust In (fαт иυggєтѕ)

So Get Off My Back 'N Get Out My Face 'Cause I'm Mean And Green And I Am Bad (мєѕ ρєтιтѕ ¢нσυχ)

How Can He Keep Up His Tail Perpendicular Or Spread Out His Whiskers Or Cherish His Pride? (яєgισ)

Baby Shark Doo-Doo Doo-Doo Baby Shark (ναяк)

Manta Rays Above Us In The Open Sea I Wonder If You Think Of Me (νєαтвαℓℓ)

NPC/GUEST MUSE TAGS

Never Tasted As Sweet A Poison As You Have You're An Urge That Can Never Be Cured (αитσи)

I Know It's Difficult So I Will Be Patient (αяια∂иє)

It's High Noon When You Step Into The Pit It's A Monster's Ball And They're Digging A Ditch (вяι¢к)

I Never Learned To Read And I Never Learned To Cook (¢нαѕтιту)

Strip Off The Weight Of Mortality And Check It At The Door (fαвιєи)

I Don't Think I'm Right And I Know It's Not Fair (ιмєℓ∂α)

I Won't Miss This I Won't Blow It You Know It! (мαяαвυѕ)

This Ain't Build A Bitch I'm Filled With Flaws And Attitude (мιѕѕ qυιqυι)

Girls Get Angry Too I'm A Samurai Princess I'll Smash You (иιкινα)

Smoke And Mirrors And Everything Nice (яσ¢к)

VERSE TAGS

V: No Matter Where You've Been Or Who You Are If It Doesn't Kill You It's Sure To Leave A Horrible Scar - Human/Pre-Death Verse - This applies to the demons as their Human Verse and the Sinners as their Alive Verse.

V: Got No Money But It's Always Always Sunny Honey - Younger Verse - Child/Teen Verses for my muses

V: I Was Made For Loving You Baby You Were Made For Loving Me - Ostello Lives Verse. Ostello and Valentino are still together, and Ostello lets Val do as he pleases with other people as long as he comes back to him at the end of the day. Their marriage is open and Val is free to do whatever he wants for the most part.

V: Says Now We're Having Fun Give Me All Your Love I'll Never Get Enough - Broken Verse - Tino is not in charge of anything, and is kept as a pretty pet in this verse. He travels dimensions.

V: I Am A Hostage To My Own Humanity Self Detained And Forced To Live In This Mess I've Made - Fallen!Adam AU - After he was killed by Niffty, Adam was thoroughly made unholy by his actions both leading up to his death and in Heaven knowing what he was doing behind the scenes in secret. He appeared in Hell unrecognizable enough that he can skate by without being noticed, but he is one of a very select few Sinners with wings that resemble angelic (but frayed) wings. VERSE DEPENDENT: He crashed, fully on fire, into Lucifer's living room when he spawned in Hell.

V: Tell Me Which One Is Worse Living Or Dying First? - Godhood AU - Valentino and Velvette-centric God AU based on This

AU Verses With @strangeandun-muse-ual

V: You Hate 'Cause I'm A Rockstar A Pretty Little Problem - Rockstar AU

V: I'll Be Your Cheap Slut Savior - Scamverse AU

V: He Is The Drug That You Hate To Crave And I Am The Liar You Made To Praise - Crime Husbands Good End AU

V: Under These Circumstances Every Heartbeat's Criminal - Crime Husbands True End AU

V: I Wanna Give You My Heart So You Can Beat It Up - Crime Husbands Bad End AU

V: Do You Love Me? Yes No Maybe I'll Be Seeing Hades Soon - Voxdes and Persephetino AU

V: Haunt Me Haunt Me Like You Used To I Love You Most When You Scare Me To Death - Ghost Husband Verse

V: Sin Was On His LIps As He Twisted His HIps - Incubus!Valentino Verse

V: The Smell Of Flowers Was So Thick And Sickly Sweet I Felt Like I Might Choke To Death - Hanahaki Variant Of Mainverse

V: Girls With Tattoos Who Like Getting In Trouble - Genderbent Verse

V: Took Them By Surprise Worked My Way Uphill - College AU

V: Sharks Green With Envy They Wonder What You See In Me - Mermaid!Valentino AU

V: Every Kiss And Every Word They Were Bullets Spraying Hazardly From Lips - Royal AU

V: If I Had Something To Say To You I'd Whisper It Softly - Smut Writer!Era AU

V: Bleed The Neon From The Bite Marks - Werewolf!Emil/Vampire!Era Verse

V: I Know My Girlfriend Is A Witch - Summoned Chaz/Human Velvette Verse

V: Do You Wanna Party Malibu Barbie? - Sugar Baby!Valentino Verse

V: I'm Going Crazy Little Tiny Hollywood Baby - Actors VoxTelloTino AU

V: I Tried On Your Lipstick I Thought I Looked Pretty But You Didn't Care No 'Cause You're Always Busy - Actor!Val, Producer!Vox Verse

V: Cast Into Darkness They Would Be Damned For Being A Man Holding Hands - Fallen Angel Adam AU

V: Push Me Along And Leave Me So Desperate And Ravenous I'm So Weak And Powerless Over You - Mobwife Valentino AU

AU Verses With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons, and @strangeandun-muse-ual

V: The Successful Removal Of You Would Probably Kill Me Too - Vox Dying Verse

V: Everybody Needs A Little Trouble - "Teenverse"/Humanverse

V: Tell Me Tell Me That We Will Never See Tomorrow - "Teenverse"/Humanverse Zombie AU

AU Verses With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons

V: A Psalm In Napalm Abandon All Hope But Try To Stay Calm - Velvette Abducts Lucifer Verse

AU Verses With @erthlyheavn

V: I Go Out Of My Way Everyday Just Hoping That I'll Catch You Walking Down The Street - Human Verse MothMaid AU

V: It's Not A Love Song But You're Alright - Human Verse

AU Verses With @helluvaxhazbin

V: I'll Tell Uncle Rocko To Call Off The Guys With The Crowbars - Moxxie stayed with the mob AU

AU Verses With @seven-circlllxs

V: Gotta Get Your Fix Down In Hollywood - Splitscreen Verse

AU Verses With @voxiiferous

V: See Every Time You Turn Around They’re Screaming Your Name - Modern Human AU

EVENT TAGS

E: On Thursdays We Break Up - Extended Break-Up Event With @strangeandun-muse-ual's Vox and Valentino

E: Down With Vox - Event Thread With @strangeandun-muse-ual, @winters-club, and @infernal-feminae

E: Aggressive Positivity - Flash Open Event With @dont-take-shxt-from-other-demons

E: The Great Moth Off - Should Valentino or Mothman be @voxiiferous' boyfriend? Open Event

MY BLOGS/MUSES TAGS

Say What You Wanna But I'm Here To Stay 'Cause I'm A Mean Ole Lion (Cash & Barbie)

It's Never A Whisper It's Always A Scream A Promise We Made To Kill The Time Between (Valentino & Legiondario)

I Hate The Way The Townspeople Gather Outside They Hang On Every Breath (Vick & Valentino)

They Let Ole Al Out Of The Jail And The Man Who Paid His Bail Was Waitin' On Al To Chop Some More (Alastor ♡ Angel Dust)

The Dinosaurs Will Turn To Dust They'll Die Because We Say They Must (Alastor ♡ Nifty)

There's Someone Lurking Inside Of You That Someone Is Me (Alastor ♡ Valentino)

I'll Be Damned If I See You With Some Other Man If I Cannot Have You Then Nobody Can (Athan ♡ Ozzie)

Candlelit Loneliness I Lay On Your Side Of The Bed (Baetyl ♡ Andrealphus)

We Keep The Party Moving Till We Drink The Last Drop (Beelzebub ♡ Ozzie)

Eat With Your Hands It's Fine I'm On The Menu (Beelzebub ♡ Valentino)

Just Try And Nibble On My Biscuits And My Rainbow Cake (Beelzebub ♡ Velvette)

She's Like What'd You Say? We'll Just Let Our Bodies Translate (Chazz ♡ Barbie)

The Whole World Was Watching And Laughing On The Day That I Crashed And Burned At Your Feet (Erasmo ♡ April)

Wait Your Turn You're Greedy I Hear You (Mammon ♡ Fizzarolli)

Don't Use Him Or You'll Always Need To Feel Ozzie's Loving Little Lamb (Mammon ♡ Ozzie)

You Give Me Your Number I Call You Up You Act Like Your Pvssy Don't Interrupt (Mammon ♡ Valentino)

But The Best Story That I Could Ever Tell Is The One Where I Am Growing Old With You (Ostello ♡ Valentino)

She Says She's Gonna Break My Nose If I Don't Behave Next Week (Paimon ♡ Barbie)

My Baby's Got A Fucked Up Head It Doesn't Matter 'Cause He's So Damn Good In Bed (Summer ♡ Valentino)

The Pill I Keep Takin' The Nightmare I Wake In There's Nothin' No Nothin' But You (Valentino ♡ Angel Dust)

Erase Me So You Don't Have To Face Me Put Me In The Ground And Mow The Daisies (Valentino ♡ Chaz)

Don't Take It Personal You Know It's Just The Way I Roll (Valentino ♡ Nifty)

You'll Fall Down A Hole That's The One Place In This World That We Both Know (Valentino 💔 Ostello)

Just Your Typical Hardcore Casual Sex We're Single But We're Lovers Crazy For Each Other (Valentino ♡ Ozzie)

Let's Dig Up My Ex (Velvette ♡ Ian)

You Will Pace Around Your Cage And Wait For Night To Come (Velvette ♡ Valentino)

You Provide The Envy And I’ll Provide The Spite (Velvette ♡ Vick)

He's Sweet As Pie But If You Break His Heart He'll Turn Cold As A Freeze (Vick ♡ Valentino)

Cocaine Can't Do It Like You Do It To Me (Vick ♡ Velvette ♡ Valentino)

Darling You Love All The Drama 'Cause You're Never Bored I Am Forever Yours (Vox ♡ Valentino)

& TAGS (SPECIFIC)

Friendship Tags With @trumpet-hah

DGAF's And No Regrets Happy Hour Starts At Five (Barbie & Fizzarolli)

Friendship Tags With @strangeandun-muse-ual

Just Tell Me That You Need Me And Stay Right Here With Me (Erasmo & Missy)

History Shows Again And Again How Nature Points Out The Folly Of Men (Zeezi & Vox)

Friendship Tags With @hisslord

Yes I Know Who You Are But I Just Don't Care (Alastor & Angel Dust)

Do Not Befriend Your Food (Alastor & Vaggie)

We Are More Alike Than We Think We Are (Angel Dust & Vaggie)

A Motherly Instinct (Mimzy & Vaggie)

She May Be Crazy But She's Fine To Me (Nifty & Vaggie)

Friendship??? Tag With @spidrboots

I Don't Want Your Cruel Melody (Valentino & Angel Dust)

Friendship Tags With @seven-circlllxs

Our Soul Is The Whole Of The Law (Adam & Lute)

SHIPPING TAGS (SPECIFIC)

[scuttling]

(Not So) Casual Friday

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 4,456 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Dad Bod Hotch (it's not a main component but he very much has the tummy here), Pining, Accidentally admitting attraction, Embarrassment, A little angst, Oral sex, Protected sex Summary: Your best friend Derek finds out about your feelings for Hotch and teases you mercilessly. You can manage it, though, until the first ever Casual Friday, when Hotch shows up to work in a black polo and jeans and you kind of ruin everything. Or maybe you don't? *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! “Okay, girlie, today’s the day,” Derek says when you set your bag and coffee cup on your desk on Monday morning. You shoot your best friend a tired smile and wonder for the—you’ve worked at the BAU for almost two years, so it’s probably the 500th time—for the 500th time why he has to be such a morning person when you would prefer not to have a conversation until at least 10 AM.

“Today’s the day for what?” you sigh, asking out of obligation, because it’s obvious that’s what he’s waiting for; he smiles, picks up your coffee and hands it to you, which must mean you sound bitchy. You take a grateful sip, close your eyes and exhale through your nose.

“For you to admit to me that you’re in love with Hotch.”

You spit out your coffee—only all over yourself, which is great, wouldn’t want to inconvenience Derek at all—and then cough so hard he has to thump on your back to help clear your airway.

It draws some attention; Hotch comes out of his office, takes a look at the two of you and probably regrets hiring the both of you, then walks down the stairs to make sure you’re okay.

“What happened? You’re wet,” he says a bit gruffly, looking at the coffee all over your chest and sleeves. You glare over at Derek, who’s clearly trying not to laugh.

“Derek made me spill my coffee.” You grab a handful of tissues off your desk and pat at the wet spot, trying to soak up the worst of it, but it’s not salvageable. You’ll have to change your shirt.

“And then you… choked on it?” Hotch asks, to clarify. Derek does laugh at that; the things Hotch is saying happen to have dual meanings, slightly sexual, and now that Derek knows—thinks he knows—about your thing for Hotch, it’s clear he finds it all so hilarious. He’s a twelve year old boy in a grown man’s body.

“Okay, I didn’t spill, I spit,” you correct, looking up at them, and Derek makes an exaggerated face of disapproval.

“Should have swallowed,” he says, trying to sound serious, and you shoot him an irritated look and reach out to slap him in the chest. Asshole.

“Do you need help getting cleaned up?” Hotch’s expression is kind, sweet, but you’d sooner die than have him blot coffee off of your boobs. It would be mortifying, especially in front of Derek.

“No, no, I think I’m okay. Thanks,” you add with a soft smile, and then you reach up and pull your sweater over your head, unzip your go bag, and search for another top.

For some reason, Hotch has a coughing fit scarily similar to the one you just had, and you turn to pat his back like Derek did for you.

“Are you alright?” you ask, looking up into his face, and he nods despite his watering eyes.

“Fine,” he croaks, and he leaves as quickly as he came. You sigh, because it’s not even nine and your day has already been so weird.

You’re wearing a tank top, and thankfully the coffee didn’t get through to that layer, so it’s quick and easy to throw another lightweight sweater over top of it; you ball up the wet one, shove it in the dirty clothes portion of your bag, zip it up and stash it under your desk. Derek looks like he’s having the best day of his life.

“You realize you just undressed in front of Hotch,” he says with a tone you don’t appreciate. You roll your eyes.

“I did not. I had a tank top on underneath.” You almost always wear an undershirt, because you’ve been a cop long enough to know that sometimes your clothes get torn or messed up in the line of duty, and you’re not trying to offer a free show while taking down an unsub. Derek wiggles his eyebrows, points at your chest.

“Yeah, one that put those little boobies on display. His eyes bulged out of his head like a cartoon character.” This time, you punch him in the arm, hard. It’s too goddamn early for this.

“Can you please shut up already? I don’t have a thing for Hotch.”

“Ah, I didn’t say you had a thing, I said you’re in love with him. And I have evidence; lots of it.” You tip your head back, groan, wondering what you did to deserve a best friend who is also such a pain in the ass, and it’s that moment that Hotch chooses to rejoin you; he looks a little flushed, probably from the coughing earlier.

“Uh. We have a case; I know not everyone is here yet, but you can head up to the briefing room, I’ll grab the others when they arrive.”

“Sure thing, sir,” you say easily, grabbing your tablet and what’s left of your coffee; you gesture for Derek and he follows, laughing and shaking his head. “Okay, what is it now? I’m so glad you find me entertaining today.”

“‘Sure thing, sir,’” he says with a high, breathy voice you assume is supposed to mimic yours. “You want his dick so bad.” You narrow your eyes at him as you head upstairs.

“Uh, because I was being respectful? I know that’s a foreign concept for you, the world’s biggest asshole, but you don’t have to read anything into it.” You take your usual seats at the table, pull up the note-taking app on your tablet, and Derek sits back, crosses his arms behind his head.

“Well you’re not calling me ‘sir’, and I’m the sexiest piece in the office, so it’s hard not to read into it.” You look over at him, elbow on the table, chin in the palm of your hand.

“Sexy is subjective, and you don’t do it for me, sorry to break it to you.” He scoffs, laughs, and you laugh too because you both know you see each other as brother and sister, buddies, and fellow former cops, and absolutely nothing else.

“Yeah, I get it, only Hotch does it for you; he’s not my type, but I can see how a young lady like yourself could be drawn to his brooding exterior.”

“I’m not drawn to his exterior!” you practically growl, and then you’re joined by Spencer and JJ.

“Good morning. What’s going on with you two?” JJ asks, loading up the monitors for the debriefing, her eyebrows raised.

“She’s in love with Hotch,” Derek says completely nonchalantly, and you rest your head on the table, on top of your forearms, and sigh.

“She’s what?” JJ’s whole face lights up, and you seriously regret everything.

“I’m not in love with anybody!” you mumble against your arms, and then you sit up, because you’re clearly going to have to defend yourself. “And I’d appreciate it if you quit saying that I am.”

“I told you I have evidence,” Derek reminds you, leaning back in his chair a little. One swift kick would have him toppling ass over tea kettle, but you’re too nice, even when he’s actively trying to ruin your life. “Shall I go over it while we wait?”

“I’ll be an objective third party,” Spencer says with a brief smile, and you sigh, wave your hand toward Derek.

“Alright, let’s hear it. I’m sure I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for whatever evidence you might think you have.” He grins like this is the moment he’s been waiting for, and you feel a little stupid for encouraging this.

“For one, you always look at him. When I’m delivering a profile, I notice you watching the locals, making sure they understand what we’re going over, since you're the queen of analyzing the micro expressions. But when Hotch is delivering a profile, your eyes are on him the whole time. Same goes for discussing theories on the jet; anyone else, and you’ve got your face in your tablet, scribbling notes, but you always look at him when he speaks.”

Your cheeks get hot. He’s a captivating speaker, is all, with that deep, velvety voice, and you can learn a lot from him, so you pay attention. That’s just being smart.

“Second, you tense when he gets close to you: not like you don’t want him to touch you, but like you’re halfway to jumping him already and trying to control it. I could probably put my hand in your pocket and you wouldn't even flinch, but if he leans over you to point at something you look like you’re about to cream your pants.”

“I have seen that, actually,” JJ offers, and you look over at her, betrayed. Sure, you get a whiff of his clean, crisp cologne, or feel the heat of him at your back, and your body reacts, reminds you that this is your boss and you’re at work and you can’t get turned on by the way he smells, but that’s actually a good thing, not an indicator of feelings or anything.

“Third, there’s something up with you and the gray suits. I can literally tell that he’s wearing one before I even see him, all because of the look on your face. It’s like you’re drunk on the gray suit.”

“Okay, that’s not true,” you say with a roll of your eyes—the gray suits are god tier, but there’s no way you’re that obvious—but it’s Spencer who speaks up, this time.

“You know, I have noticed that. Your pupils tend to be more dilated when his suit is gray or blue than when it’s black.” Fuck. You sigh.

“He barely ever wears the blue. It looks so good on him,” you murmur, and then you snap your eyes shut, cover your face with your hands. “Fuck. This is so embarrassing.”

“To be fair, we are profilers,” Derek says, leaning in to pat your back. “But also to be fair, he’s been a profiler longer than any of us, so if we know, he definitely knows.”

“Not helping, Derek,” you grind out, and then you’re joined by the rest of the team. Penelope takes the seat next to you, leans in with a worried tone of voice.

“Is everything okay?”

“She’s having a small crisis, but she’ll be fine,” JJ says with a smile, and you don’t miss the way Hotch looks you over when she says it, concern in his eyes. “Alright, so we’re headed to Arkansas…”

Later that morning, when you’ve been given your instructions—yours are heading to the crime scene with Emily and Derek—Hotch pulls you out into the hall, rests a gentle hand on your arm.

“Are you alright? JJ mentioned you were having a crisis earlier. This is the first time I’ve been able to get you alone, and I wanted to check on you.” You take a deep breath, look up at him, so handsome in a black suit, white shirt, green tie—he almost never wears a green tie, and you absently think it brings out the more golden tones of his eyes—and smile softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s really nothing. Personal stuff, and I’m dealing with it.” If by ‘dealing with it’ you mean you’ve been repressing it, shoving it down day in and day out until your feelings are choking you, then yeah, you’re dealing with it. “Thanks for checking, though, that’s kind of you.”

“Of course. I’m here to help in any way I can, if you need me.” Good god, do you need him, emotionally, physically, but that’s fantasy, and this, what he’s offering, is rooted in reality. Good things do happen, but not to you.

“Thanks.” Your voice is weak to your own ears, and he swallows, nods; you see Derek hovering by the door, waiting for you, and you pull away to join him, plastering a smile on your face. You don’t talk about it again until Friday, and at that point it’s extremely unavoidable.

It’s Casual Friday, newly implemented by the bureau as a way to boost morale, and while it doesn’t really excite you, because you’re fairly casual anyway, others take full advantage of it. Others, including Hotch.

He shows up to work wearing a black polo and dark jeans, his usual watch. It’s easily the most simplistic, basic outfit a man could decide to wear on Casual Friday, but this isn’t just a man, it’s Aaron fucking Hotchner, and so naturally, you lose your damn mind.

It wouldn’t be so bad if the damn polo didn’t fit him perfectly, tight across his shoulders and chest and the little tummy he has that makes you want to be under him so badly, your stomachs pressed together while he thrusts inside you, holding you tightly, his strong thighs working against yours…

“Hello, are you alive in there?” Emily asks, waving her hand in front of your face; the two of you, along with Derek, are in Penelope’s office for lunch while Rossi, Reid, and JJ are out of the office for a seminar. You blink, shake away your thoughts and hope and pray they don’t come back—but they’ll come back, they always do.

“She’s just short circuiting because of Hotch’s Casual Friday look,” Morgan says with a wink, sitting backward in his seat. “She’s been drooling so much I’ve had to follow her around with a mop to clean up after her.” You push your wheeled chair away from them with a groan, needing space and air and, potentially, a brain transplant. You’ve gotten nothing done all day long.

“Can you blame me? The man comes in here everyday, buttoned up tight, looking incredible in a suit and tie, and then he shows up in that black polo, all snug and hot and delicious, and you expect me not to freak out? You guys are lucky I didn’t pass out.” You’re met with silence, and you blink, confused, at your friends, but they’re all just kind of staring with looks of barely concealed humor. “What? It’s not like it’s a secret that I want to climb him like a tree.”

“Pretty sure it was a secret to him,” Penelope says, looking shocked, and you whip around in your chair to see Hotch standing in the doorway, wide-eyed and a little flushed.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. I, uh—” He raises a hand, waves you off.

“It’s okay. No harm done; thank you, for the, uh. Compliment.” He steps forward, hands a manila folder to Penelope. “Thanks for taking care of these,” he says softly, and then, unsurprisingly, he gets the hell out of there. You wish you could disappear off the face of the Earth.

“Fuck, holy fuck,” you mutter when he’s gone, leaning forward with your head in your hands. “That’s it, I’m quitting. It’s been nice knowing you guys.”

“Okay, don’t be dramatic,” Derek says, and you look up to glare at him; he’s the one that started all this in the first place. You were fine, feelings tamped down and suppressed, until he brought it up and then told everyone you know.

“Don’t tell me not to be dramatic, Derek! This is all your fault. You never respect my boundaries, you never know when to just let me be, you always have to pick and pick until you wear me down. Maybe I had a reason for wanting to keep my feelings private, did you ever think of that?”

“I know you're upset,” Emily begins softly, because there’s some pretty thick tension between you and Derek now, but you stand up, push your chair across the room, and shake your head.

“I’m not upset, I’m fucking humiliated. I’m going home; let him know I’m sick, will you?” You exhale deeply, storm upstairs and grab your stuff and drive home with tears in your eyes. You’ve never been so embarrassed in your life, and add that to the absolute heartbreak you’re feeling? You’re just happy you make it to your apartment, so you can break down with cheesecake and a sappy, romantic comedy with a happy ending: those perfect, fictional worlds are pretty much the only place one is guaranteed. You are, as planned, hunkered down on the sofa in your softest pajamas, watching You’ve Got Mail and eating the center out of an entire cheesecake with a spoon when there’s a knock at your door. You groan, pick up your cheesecake tin, and walk over to it, fully expecting it to be Derek come to beg for forgiveness for ruining your life, so it’s no surprise you drop your dessert on the floor when it’s actually Hotch on the other side.

He looks down at the tin, then up at your face, cracks the barest hint of a smile.

“I thought you were sick; I brought soup,” he says, holding up a paper bag, and your heart thumps in your chest. You wipe a hand over your face, because you haven’t been exactly neat in your heartache cheesecake consumption, and then you kick the tin across the floor and invite him in, closing the door behind him.

“I thought it was obvious that I wasn’t actually sick, just… really embarrassed,” you say when he turns back to look at you. “I can’t believe you heard all that stuff I said… I’m really sorry I made you uncomfortable.” You take the bag from his hand and invite him to follow you into the kitchen, where you set it on the counter, lean against it. He comes close, but not so close you can’t function, which is good; your comfy pajamas are shorts and a loose tank top, so you feel a little exposed already.

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable,” he says softly, and you frown, must have heard him wrong. He presses his fingertips against the counter, as if for support. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. It was… unexpected,” he explains, “very unexpected, but I’m not uncomfortable.”

You flush hot, and you can feel the bad decision part of your brain switching on, warning bells ringing in your head.

Whatever you do next has the potential to be extremely stupid, and you would like to avoid that at all costs; you love your job, after all, despite how physically and emotionally exhausting it can be, and you love your team. Time to think with your upstairs brain only.

“That makes me feel a little better,” you say truthfully, and despite the pep talk you just gave yourself, you move closer to him like there’s an invisible magnetic force between you; you would imagine a guy like Hotch would step back, keep his distance, but he only cranes his neck a little so he can look down at you more easily.

God, he’s tall. And he smells good, and his face is perfect, and that goddamn polo...

“Good, I’m glad. I don’t want you to feel bad about this. I’m not uncomfortable, it’s not… it’s not unwanted.” You swallow audibly, looking up at him, wondering if he knows what he’s saying, what it sounds like.

“It’s not?” you ask, and it comes out breathy; he takes a small step closer to you, brushes his fingers over your arm, peers into your eyes.

“No, it’s not. I’ve been thinking of you, too; I know you know you’re beautiful, but you’re also so smart, and strong-willed, and a force to be reckoned with. I’m proud to have you on my team, and I’d be proud… to have you climb me like a tree.” He smiles again, just the barest hint of one, and you put your arms around him and pull him closer for a kiss.

One long, slow, perfect kiss turns into another, then another, and he presses your back against the counter, his hands on your face and your hands on his thick waist; you hum into the kiss, revel in the feel of his lips on yours, his tongue sweeping past them, and when you pull back for air it feels like there’s only one question that needs to be asked.

“Bedroom?” you breathe, and he nods, and you take his hand and pull him in that direction, pausing to kiss him several times before you get there. “You don’t happen to have a condom, do you?” you ask, breathless, guiding him to the bed, and he frowns, shakes his head.

“I didn’t want to seem presumptuous.” You grin at that, lean forward and kiss him, your fingers in his hair.

“I find it so hot that you even say presumptuous. I might have one here somewhere.” You open your nightstand, move around books and toys until you find a couple; you flip them over, checking to see if they’re expired, and offer him a couple options. “They’re still good, surprisingly. You can, uh. Choose the one that would work best.”

He looks them over, picks one and hands back the rest, and you throw them back in the drawer and slide into his lap, wrap your arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” he says, holding your waist as you look down at him, completely in awe that this is happening. “But I want to clarify: if you’re looking for something casual, I don’t think we should go any further.” You inhale softly, surprised by his straightforwardness, and you lean in, kiss him slowly.

“I don’t want casual. I want to be with you.” His eyes are so brilliant, dark in the dim light of your bedroom, and he nods, presses his lips to yours and slides his hands beneath your top, guides it over your head. Then they move to your shorts, slipping them gently off your hips, and you stand so he can push them to the ground.

You’re both breathing heavily, a little rough, and you step between his legs, kiss him again, run your hands down his chest, closing your eyes with a sigh because you finally get to feel him after a year of just imagining what it would be like. After a beat, you open your eyes, look into his, smile.

“Really grateful for Casual Friday,” you whisper. “Otherwise you might never have found out I’m kind of in love with you.” You ease the polo over his head, drop it on the ground and encourage him to stand so you can take off his pants; he does, but before you can drop to your knees as planned, he takes your face in his hands, presses one soft kiss against your mouth.

“I’m more than kind of in love with you.” Oh, if that isn’t the greatest sentence your ears have ever heard… You wrap your arms around his neck, kiss a little more, forgetting that you planned to finish undressing him; when you remember, you make quick work of it, then have him lay back against the bed and settle between his legs.

You put your mouth on him because you want to, more than anything, and his hand drops to your hair, caressing you while you suck slowly, deeply, holding him with one hand and pressing against his stomach with the other. His moans are soft and gorgeous, his body tense beneath your hand, and you’d do this all night, but he murmurs your name, coaxes you up, puts his hands on your back as you settle against him.

“You’re so incredible. I never would have imagined I’d get this, get you,” he breathes, skimming his hands over your sides and hips, and you kiss softly, steamy and sweet.

“Me neither.” You lean up, make space for him to roll on the condom, and then press him inside; your breath hitches, and so does his, and you lay on top of him, chest to chest, stomach to stomach, arms around each other tightly while you move. “Hmm. Aaron,” you sigh, hair falling around him, and he groans, digs his fingertips into your hips.

“Sounds so perfect coming out of your mouth.” You smile, but it slips away when he surges up to kiss you, leans up so he’s sitting with you in his lap. He slides a broad hand up your back, wraps it around the nape of your neck, and pumps his hips up as you sink down, eliciting a series of soft, eager moans from the both of you.

“Feels like I’ve waited so long; I’ve never wanted someone as badly as I wanted you,” you tell him, chest heaving, and he brings you to him for a kiss, something a little rougher, less refined. He’s getting close.

“Never. You make me feel so much.” You reach back against his leg for support, work harder to bring him off, and when he comes he crushes his mouth against yours, delicious and more uncontrolled than you’ve ever seen him. He chants your name, so soft and sweet rolling off of his tongue, and then gets you on your back so he can press deeply inside.

You feel so incredibly full, panting beneath him, your hands on his waist and your feet on the backs of his thighs; his perfect face is inches from yours, all shallow breaths and decadent, passionate kisses, and when you climax you pull him closer, sigh, unravel completely in his embrace.

Maybe good things do happen after all. You hold each other and talk for a while, after a quick pitstop to the restroom, and then your stomach growls—understandably, since the only thing to fill it since lunch was that stupid cheesecake—and Hotch orders takeout on his phone from bed; god bless technology.

There’s a knock at the door twenty minutes later, and you know that’s quick for your favorite Thai place, but you’re not complaining because you’re officially starving. He offers to grab it, throws on his boxers and heads for the living room; after a few minutes, you wonder what’s taking so long, pull on your robe and go to check on him.

Hotch is talking to Derek, who is standing in your living room with a piece of cheesecake and a shit eating grin.

“I came with a peace offering, but now I think I’ll wait for a, ‘Thank you, Derek,’” he says, and you roll your eyes, stalk over and take the cheesecake out of his hands. You give it to Hotch, lean up to kiss Derek on the cheek, and push him toward the door.

“Thank you, Derek. Go away, Derek,” you say with a smile of your own, and he raises his palms and retreats down the hall, laughing as he goes.

This is just one more thing he’ll tease you mercilessly about, but this time the benefits outweigh the costs. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner