#should i skip tmrw???
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I've hit baby bean twice, idk why this time the cut sting like fuck
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This semi-mild cold has been an annoying start to this week 🤧😪
#ore no kao#feels mostly gone now after being in its clutches since sunday night#but on the bright side i got to skip the Tues/Wed office days and work from home all week#lots of sneezing and congestion with a very brief fever yday--likely thanks to my roomie's four day/nyquil pills#but phew#also finally almost caught up on work emails 📧#and just put out a vid for a ygo project i've been working on over on my sideblog for the interested#so feeling better 😌#(now to finally sleep 💤)#[should not tag-vent-rb before bed]#let's see if i feel up to a jog tmrw finally#[also jeez my nostrils need some r&r 😩]#(clarification: day/nyquil pills *keeping it from being worse probably lol)#if you read this far into my tags you are now imagining a smiling corgi doggo :)
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hhhhhhhhhh gonna try to finish my assignment today (tonight* it’s almost midnight here;;) so i can order sushi and gyoza and binge trigun all day tmrw…
#TAT#pls … give me ur strength#it’s this awful compensatory assignment#that i could not care less abt#as long as i half ass it i should be fine ;;#anyway i wanna binge trigun aaand skip to loafer#and then !!! i also wanna read fics :3 and answer dms (sorry im so slow sobs … ily mutuals)#lots to do ;;;;#but if i work hard and reward myself tmrw everything should be fine …#ari noises ✩
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anyway if anyone happens to be wondering leigh you’ve been spam rbing for quite some time now haha do you have an exam or smth tmrw the answer is yes ❤️
#personal#FUCKING CHRISTTTT going to fail it and literally no one but myself to blame had literally the whole day and i just Could Not look at it#there is just way too much going on rn like logically OBVIOUSLY the exam tmrw is what should be taking priority but all day im going oh my#god the homework corrections tonight oh god the exam notecard oh god the homework due tmrw ih god the lab due tuesday morning that we still#haven’t finished the in-person portion of oh god the TWO exams wednesday oh god the lab due thursday morning after my classes wednesday tha#go all day till 9pm and i don’t think we finished that lab’s in person portion either oh god my lab due friday morning that i DEFINITELY#haven’t finished and this isn’t even talking abt the lab REPORTS for all these labs oh god my paper due following wednesday along with#Another exam oh god the scholarship project meetings oh god im definitely going to need to skip band at least once in the next#week i can’t go failing band too of all things like oh my god shut up shut up shut up#also apparently my uncle now wants to commission me to help with his own artwork in the next couple weeks which is cool i guess but i#absolutely do not!! need this rn!!#the engineering chronicles
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#i havent been wanting to get out of bed in the morning at all lately :((#i just dont want to :((#today i should be going to the gym w my mom nd then stop by the store nd library#tmrw i have to go to school#but omg i rllyyyyy dont want to i wanna cry#i feel like skipping it today even if then i dont get the book i wanna read bc they'll send it back today#plus there r some things i'd like to get at the store. but ugh i just wanna stay in bed and stay in my room#and i had an unpleasant dream of my school years :/#i dream of that and my class all the time and it fills me w such anxiety :(#stuff like that. that anxiety most ppl fill me w. reminds me how badly i only want to be w him#but maybe it's ruined now. bc of miscommunication.... i havent even dared checking the app#bc im sooooooo scared to open it and be met w the unread sign. that he hasnt even seen my messages#that'll hurt me so much so i just dont even open the app. now i have no idea if he's seen it or not nd thats all i can deal with atm#it makes me so sad tho bc if he rlly wanted to he could have me. and i have such a big heart w sm love to give to someone :((((#he's like the one person i've met who fills me w calm instead of that anxiety#which is somewhat funny to say bc he also makes me so sad sometimes :(( nd frustrated#but ohhh even now all i can think abt is being w him nd having a future. even if idk if nd when we'll even simply talk again skskksksk#sighhhhhh i was so happy to have talked to him almost every day the past week... i have things i wanna share w him constantly!!!!! but then#i ofc made a mistake w i always do. i just wish ppl could come to me nd talk abt it instead of just getting upset and pulling away :((
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Do i have anything tmrw
#like. is there smth important in school#i have two tests plus an olympiad friday#but nothing tmrw#should i skip#.mimiming ❜
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guys should i skip class tomorrow
#i already skipped today plus it’ll be harder to catch up tmrw bc i have something all afternoon#idk man im really not feeling it#also also i have to be on campus by 11 anyways. so like maybe I should just suck it up#it’s not like today where I could stay at home all day#sighh#im so so tired idk what to do#ramblings#really excited to get a whole five hours of sleep tonight
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i need to drop something off at the post office today should i go shopping a little too. as a treat
#shay speaks#i havent gone grocery shopping yet i might wait til tmrw but also#tbh i think i have enough to get through to next week still so i might just skip this week#but i also might get a little treat downtown idk yet. i'd love to get like. anime merch#if the anime series i liked were slightly more mainstream bc theres no way i can find english hypmic or enstars merch at the store in town#i've looked. its all popular shounen stuff#hmm hmm. i havent eaten since breakfast though i should eat before walking across town to go shopping
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going to sleep soon ~ let me get some things off my chest here.... my eyes are super itchy again (fell into the trap of snuggling my cat even when i swore i wouldn't do it again)
#cw vent#this is bc i have a math exam tmrw I’M SORRYYY i feel some kind of way about that#this is the first exam where i am near confident i will fail. and its just kinda sucky#my mental maths is really poor and due to the fact i skipped grades (unable to afford Education) i don’t know a lot of things my peers know#my results as they are right now? theyre genuinely ok. not bad. but theres still gaps made by the years of missing out on school#this is one of them#its so embarrassing having my classmate look at me weirdly when i ask her about something that should totally be obvious or#something silly like that. i don’t know. its especially hard for me to be interested in maths because my old maths teacher has#literally fucked me up i’m so intimidated by every math teacher ever and i just hate the feeling of being stupid or whatever#i don’t enjoy being comforted by A+ students bc theyre like cmonn its totally fine!! i relate i got a 39/40 :(#or my friends who make jokes about how stupid i am and its just aghhh#its already been almost a year since ive enrolled in school again but i still feel so out of place#so miserable i could just die#so miserable i think i SHOULD die#and i'm just nervous about getting an absolute 0. failing my first test made me want to literally kill myself#sorry for being dramatic but when you have a sister whos awards and certificates fill your house shelf its kind of like........#aghhhh!!!! maybe i should just accept that i'm good for nothing at all!!!!!!#not that great with numbers or formulas. probably not that great at writing either. nor am i as eloquent as i'd like to be ~#not artistically inclined. science is a bore. not ~ naturally ~ adept with neither languages nor history! psychology! economics! sports!#forgive me for not being able to do anything good at all ... zzz
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'Why would you do that to urself?' GUESS 🤔🤔 I'm cosplaying as zebra
#should i skip tmrw???#cut my life into piece thsi is my last resort#ill go on Tuesday pinky promise#i jsut found out about TBT and i love fheir song
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guess who ended up sick right before the one break they have in a week - _ -
#like can u not???#i had plans!#i ain't got time to be sniffling#already got classes tmrw i can't skip#gotta save my leaves for when i need em#and im not even home!#this strip of paracetamol better get me through everything istg#i wanted to catch up on the shows and get studying done but now it's just 24/7 raging headache with bonus cold shivers#atleast wake up at ass o clock in the morning classes tmrw#but i can already tell the overhead noon sun will end me#atleast i have the cherry magic movie downloaded#adachi and kurosawa should have healing powers based on how adorable they are#zatxt.
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CALLING FENGFAN 小弟 💗💘💖💕💖💘 can you imagine just trying that rival of his just to see what theyre all about (or bc his line was too long and you didnt wanna bother) and u catch him just gLARING AT YOU FROM ACROSS THE STREET LIKE. THATS THE WORST BETRAYAL YOU COULD EVER DO TO A VENDOR!! doesnt speak to you for 3 business days until you give him a formal letter of apology and a written statement that his tanghulu is better
YOURE SO RIGHT he pins up those documents of shame after you give them to him in a perfect envelope with a goddamned wax seal as advertising. and if he didn't care about the other shop then WELL NOW HE DOES. and he's out for vengeance. he upgrades his simplistic nice set up to something so fancy it would prolly be on 小红书 as inspiration or whatever. when 中秋节 comes around the corner he works his ass off trying and testing 月饼 recipes to make sure they outsell .... whoever that other person is
#if it's bc the queue is too long he'll just click his tongue and tell you that whenever you want something you can just skip the lines....#this is not how a business should work but fengfan doesn't care so#i think it would be hilarious if this other person was like. masaya who only started up bc he saw it on instagram and wanted to make some#and hiroto was like oh yeah bro these are so good you should SELL THEM#and he's like wait why not#and then for some reason he faces the most animosity from this one other guy and he KNOWS he did nothing wrong except market the same goods#so he's just very confused#ini#asks#SPEAKING OF 中秋节 it is coming up soon and i am so sorry to admit that i don't actually like mooncakes IM SORRY ANCESTORS........#ok sorry anon i'm hopping off rn to go to sleep i will respond tmrw. technically today. when i wake up
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im so nervous about this i cant do anything idk idk
*remembers it's monday*
omg yatay bakış hi :3
#it's supposed to be the special episode today#i hope i remember it right and it's not a skip week this week fsfdgdgfd#i actually could not get any fucking thing done today due to anxiety and headache#so i should fix some things before i go tmrw morning#graaaahhhhhhh ughh#i dont know if i can fix them all tbh lmao like he wont be seeing the final thing either way#im going for critics and asking for advice and asking for reference letters lmao WHYYY does this literally break my brain#anxious that i will get judged by my decisions? :P#im so stupid i swear to fuvking god#🗒
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So many… games… I’m not even on the 2010s yet wtf
#I’m currently on *checks notes* Mario and Sonic debut Olympics#i should just skip it and go to the rivals plots but like….#I think the Olympics actually have plots to them… for now I might skip and go back#but if I’m not thorough the first time it’s just gonna be a mess everywhere#hmm#thinking#I probably won’t get done with pre 2010s until tmrw???#I feel like this is all an uphill battle but I’m so determined to flesh this all out and clean it up for my own timelines jdjdhsbsbxnhnnggg#shitposts#clenched jaw tag#?? both tags bc this is a struggle and beauty is pain#and this timeline needs to be sexy
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i... am going to give up on my spanish hw
#there are so many words and i don't know where any of them are meant to go :(#it should be simple but i am fuckin stupid so it isn't <3#ughhhhhhh i want to skip tmrw so bad... so bad...
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pm dazai and pm chuuya who constantly fight each other for readers attention... but then someone hurts reader and all of a sudden they work together so seamlessly to kill the mf who dared to touch you (≧▽≦)
ⵌ YOU'RE QUITE THE SAME IF LOVE'S THE GAIN
SENDER Reader (Fem) RECIPITENT PM!Dazai Osamu + PM!Chuuya Nakahara (BSD) CONTENTS jealousy, reader+chuuya+dazai are 16/17, reader is an heiress, hostage situation, fluff n cute!! (implied) torture, worried chuuya NOTE This wasn't the department you specialised in. You wanted to manage finances, and while Mori was more than happy to grant you the role - Dazai would nag for you to join him and Chuuya on missions that didn't concern you in the slightest. There's only so much patience one can have. COMPANY Tangled Up
A/N THI S WA S RLL Y C UT E !! sorr y this one was l ate ;//; i hav e a scho o l trip tmrw ^^// maybe i'l l t ry sm ut nex t ... i have a l ot of good re qs i ho pe i ca n ge t throu gh the m a ll ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱
Missions with Dazai and Chuuya always resulted in a thrilling adventure. There was never a time you'd look back on a mission you'd had with both and say to yourself, 'that was a bummer.'
You weren't supposed to work alongside them. Within the Port Mafia, Dazai and Chuuya were always to be assigned missions that were too dangerous for someone ordinary.
And, you? Well.
You possessed no ability. Your purpose in the Port Mafia was your background - your status.
Heiress to your father's wealth in your homeland of France, your parents were part of a certain elite group that made you a walking target should you venture without protection.
That is why you were always thrown as the bait.
With all respects to Dazai, that is, who introduced to Mori the idea of having you be the helpless, dumb damsel skipping merrily into danger.
You weren't happy about this arrangement and that was made clear by your sulking.
" Oh, look at me, I am an unattended woman. "
You sluggishly wandered around the dark halls of the abandoned facility, your voice just barely loud enough for the walls to echo your sarcastic jokes.
" This is serioouuuss! " The earpiece cleverly hidden in your ear crackled into life, you knew the voice belonged to Dazai. " Been chasing this guy for ages now, I think he's got some sort of phasing ability. He might appear outta no where, but Chuuya's trailing behind you, so don't worry. "
As if it could ease your nerves, it only made you regret agreeing to this further. " Great. I'm comforted. " You replied in a snarky manner.
You were dressed in lavish clothing that not even your pompous, arrogant mother would ever think of wearing. You seemed to have a distaste for reminders of the generational wealth you possess and opt to distance yourself from a 'royal' life. It proved impossible when it was the only thing that allowed you to maintain a job in the Port Mafia.
The gloomy and cold atmosphere left you hugging yourself for warmth as you traversed through complicated corridors. Although your earpiece was not connected to Chuuya's, you worried that you were walking off-course and/or Chuuya knew where you are meant to go, but could not blow his cover to correct your stupid mistakes.
Chuuya did a pretty good job at staying hidden. You could not hear a thing other than the clacking of your heels against metal flooring. " Ohh.. I'm so scared. " You pitched your voice higher, this being your best shot at luring out whoever it is the PM were after. You weren't taking this seriously, that was clear to both Dazai and Chuuya.
This wasn't the first mission you three were together, there were a few others that you'd two go through but this was the first time you were thrown a seal to a shark.
Dazai was elsewhere in the building, you weren't sure where and he gave no information when asked. With the affirmation Chuuya had your back, you knew that there was nothing to fear.
You would have appreciated some communication on his end though. You figured it must be his unnatural shyness towards you that made it hard for him to be too forward.
You easily noticed how his behaviour would change around you. And with Dazai around? Oh, boy.
Even if you could be a little air-headed sometimes, you weren't dumb to the hints in front of you.
From the day you were rescued from captivity - a story for another day - Chuuya stood out. You find it funny how he'd be unable to face you for more than a minute before looking away hurriedly. It sprung your new-found hobby of teasing Chuuya whenever you could. Of course Dazai picked up on it pretty soon after too and Chuuya has not known peace since. You couldn't help it! You weren't to blame! You giggled to yourself reminding yourself of Chuuya's little crush, fingers intertwined behind your back loosely, your back straightening from its previous hunched-over stance.
Feeling sudden confidence surge through your veins with the recollection of memories with Chuuya, you were just about to turn on your heel to address the gravity manipulator until a hand grabbed you from behind - before you had the chance to see who it was, you felt cold metal press against your temple that made you freeze up.
In front of you, Chuuya had finally revealed himself, but he too was stood as still as stone.
" Kill me 'n the girl goes too. "
They have never let it get THIS bad. Not ever have you ever even been in the hold or this close to an enemy, and here you were at gunpoint, something that was not planned.
You didn't dare break eye contact from Chuuya. This might just be your final moment. With great trust in Chuuya and Dazai's ability, you weren't sure how they'd proceed with this.
Chuuya might end up being the last thing you see. The look of fear on his face too didn't ease your nerves. They were not in the position to bargain. And funnily enough, you blamed yourself for this.
" Fine, yeah. Let her go. " Chuuya stood up from his mid-offensive position and dropped whatever weapon he had. A gun and a small knife for close-combat, he raised his arms above his head to firmly show his surrender. The hand that was previously on your lower hip raised to roughly cover your mouth, a gloved palm shoving itself in your face and that broke you down immediately. Fear took over and your knees went weak with pure fright, yet the man behind you had his fingers digging into the flesh of your cheek with such a harsh grab that it kept you standing up-right, the barrel of the gun pressing in deeper to your skull, sure to leave indents - that is if you weren't just shot dead. Then an indent would be the less of your worries.
With your back pressed against the chest of the stranger, you could feel the vibration of his confident voice as he spoke loudly, " Don't take me for a fool, Nakahara. You could easily use that ability of yours. " And that was true. You actually forgot about Chuuya's ability. Your mind was too foggy at the moment.
It was the first time you saw Chuuya Nakahara look uncertain in whether this mission would end well or not. He smiled insecurely as he let out a gruff exhale, " Wouldn't do that if I wanted her to live, yeah? Now let her go. "
Even if he kept grinning, you could see how the sweat dripped from his face even through your own teary eyes. With the palm pressing over your mouth and nose, it was difficult to breathe and steady your heart that was already beating fast enough as it is.
" Hmm.. " The gun was lowered slowly, caressing down your cheek and to your chest before being positioned at the pit of your stomach, " But do I really wanna? "
You began to squeal in protest, unable to accept your helplessness but it seemed someone else did your job of retaliation for you.
In the blink of an eye, the man holding you captive fell backwards and consequentially dragged you down with him but ended up tripping you up a bit further. You fell with your head banging on the hard floor, your captors hand slipping from your mouth and allowing you to briefly gasp for air. The clattering of a gun was heard somewhere yet you were too dazed to properly do anything at this point.
The last thing you remember was the feeling of being raised from your underarms and distant shouting.
" -as if she'd be able to do-"
" No, you shut up! You could've done something easily. "
" It was your idea to use her as a fuckin' pawn, don't twist this. "
" Uhh! I'm sowwy~! I thought Chuuya Naka-fucking-hara had some balls to intercept~! "
" Zip it! She's waking up! "
Groggily, you stared at the two of them, sitting opposite each-other on the end of your bed. Judging by the bright white, you were most likely in the infirmary.
Chuuya was the first to lean in, he must have not noticed his hand coming to rest over yours which were folded nearly over your stomach. He had hope in his eyes, contrasting with the emotion you last remember them in. " Y/N? " He called out to you, taking a glimpse at the steady heart monitor.
Testing your voice, you let out a low hum before croaking out a meek, " Heya. "
Dazai was the first to break a laugh at your first words. His and Chuuya's eyes were soft.
" Don't look cute, I'm pissed at you both. " You huffed, turning your head to the side, avoiding them both.
Chuuya held your hand a little tighter, he understood if you decided to be unhappy with him. " Sorry, Y/N. I really fucked that up. Shit, I just didn't know what to do. " He explained himself with such compassion you were urged to look at him again. " I guess I discovered seein' you like that. Uh. In trouble and stuff, makes me seize up badly. "
From the corner of your eye you saw Dazai huff before standing up, but Chuuya held onto your attention as he continued speaking tenderly to you, " I thought that this loser would have planned a set-up and knew that was gonna happen but. It took too long. I realised last second he didn't plan shit. "
" Hey! Don't be so rude, Chuuya~ Besides, if it weren't for me, precious princess would've been shot. " You saw Dazai reach into his back pocket for something you couldn't quite recognise yet.
" Oh, that was you, Dazai? " You asked, alluding to the sudden drop during the action. " Yuup~ And y'know what the best part is? "
You quirked a brow and stole a shared glance from Chuuya. Dazai was unexpectable.
" Since me and Chuuya are so nice.. "
So Chuuya was in on this too?
Dazai paused his sentence and hummed in a baby-ish voice. " Kill me and the girl goes too! " He mocked, earning him an earnest giggle from you. " That wasn't funny, Dazai! I was scared! " You retorted, but still couldn't wipe that smile off of your face.
" Sorry, sorry. But, like he wanted, he's not dead. "
Dazai held the object he had pulled out in front of him. Bloodied priars.
" Technically death caused by unattended injuries is not 'killing him' on MY end, isn't that right, Chuuya? "
Chuuya nod his head before you.
They have that man locked in a fucking basement.
©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3
#chuuya x reader#dazai x reader#pm dazai x reader#pm chuuya x reader#dazai x reader x chuuya#bsd x reader
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