#should i have used y/n?

[hailsatanacab]

I'll ask after that secret number 8!

I only remembered secret number 8 because I saw your wip here! I'd started this one based on the same prompt, then lost said prompt and stopped working on it 😅

Instead of a snippet, I'm just dropping it all here - maybe that way I'll feel inspired to finish it?

———

It’s a full house for dinner tonight and, really, that should have tipped him off.

Bruce sits at the head of the table, smiling softly as he watches over everyone’s antics. Damian is regaling Dick with everything they saw at the zoo that day (Danny had been so happy to see Delilah the purpleback gorilla again, and her new little additions to the troupe, too!) and how well they are implementing the grant the Wayne Foundation had gifted them. Tim, Steph, Cass, and Duke are all engaged in a thumb-war tournament which Danny has no interest in participating in. It just wouldn’t be fair on them.

Danny loves that look. The one where Bruce’s eyes crinkle when he thinks none of the kids can see him. It oozes love and it makes Danny’s heart, his core, ache. 

It’s been a little over a year since Alfred found him on the street and managed to wrangle him back to the manor to stay—even after the whole biting thing when he realised how rich they were. 

A little over a year here and Danny’s starting to feel like family.

Starting to feel like he might, just maybe, like to make it official.

“Danny,” Bruce says, drawing everyone’s attention. Danny starts at his name, but Bruce’s voice is warm and calm, and his shoulders lose their tension almost immediately. “Danny, I have something I would like to tell you.”

“Uhhh…” is all Danny can croak out, eyes flicking back and forth between Bruce and the rest of them. Smooth. Looking good, Danny.

Except… they’re all happy. All smiles, all relaxed body language, all radiating calm and love and acceptance. Well, not Damian—his face is as thunderous as it always is—which at least means it’s nothing too out of the ordinary.

“Danny, first of all, I just want to impress upon you that this is in no way something you have to do. You are under no obligation to join us and, no matter what, you shall always be welcome with us in the manor.”

Wait, what? Danny squints at Bruce, trying to parse exactly what he’s saying… Is he—is this them asking to adopt him? Do they want to make it official, too? 

It’s been a little over a year and of course Danny has imagined calling Bruce ‘Dad’. Of course he’s imagined being part of the family, of course he wants to make it official!

He can’t help the beaming grin or the bright and bubbling “Yes!” already waiting on his lips. All Bruce has to do is ask, all Danny needs to hear is—

“I’m Batman.”

The smile freezes on Danny’s face.

His lungs stop working, his heart stops working, he stops working, he just—

“And I’m Nightwing,” Dick smiles, breaking the awkward silence. 

Danny’s eyes snap to him, and then down to Tim when he admits to being Red Robin. Duke is Signal, Steph is Spoiler. Damian begrudgingly tells him he’s Robin, but Danny can barely hear it over the ringing in his ears.

“I’m Black Bat.” Cass cocks her head, almost looking concerned. It always felt like she understood him the most. Whenever he was feeling low, too in his memories, or stewing after a nightmare, she was always there, ready to card her fingers through his hair and never mention his tears. It makes his heart ache to think of it now. “It’s okay, Danny.”

It’s meant to be reassuring, but how—how can it be okay? How? 

Danny’s spent a little over a year with them. A little over a year with Batman. 

Batman, who works with the Justice League, who works with…

A little over a year. 

Just under 16 months since he escaped.

“Danny? Are you alright?” Bruce asks

Finally, his lungs kickstart and suck in a shuddering breath, only for everyone to drop their smiles.

Didn’t take them long, did it? Now that their ruse is up, there’s no kindness in their eyes, they’re just… cold, calculating. Evaluating. 

“Why?” Danny gasps, his fingers tingling, his heart in his throat.

Just under 16 months since he—has he escaped? Or was this just another one of their experiments?

"I... I trusted you, why—" Danny chokes back a sob, gritting his teeth as his shoulders shake. Why? Why would they do this? "I was happy here, with you. I thought... Weren't you happy?"

"Danny..." Bruce is looking at him, eyes narrow and eyebrows pinched, in some cruel facsimile of confused concern and all Danny can think is how much of an actor he is. How well he can play the part of a doting father. How much he made him want that.

"I don't understand, why..." 

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you before, I can imagine that it comes as a shock. We shouldn't have lied to you, Danny, but—"

"Stop it!" Danny slams his hands down on the table and pushes himself up on wobbly legs. Even standing, he feels so small. Smaller than Bruce, than all of his adopted siblings. They crowd above him when they all stand, too. "Just stop it! Why are you doing this, why are you still pretending? Stop it!"

It was easier, with Danny's biological parents. The knowledge that they'd do anything to get him on a lab table, to open him up and see what makes him tick, to rip him apart molecule by molecule, had always been there. He knew they hated ghosts. He knew they hated Phantom. He knew they hated him. It was easier because it was something he'd known all his life. When he died, when he became a ghost, he knew what to expect from them. It hurt, of course it did.

But it was easier than this.

"Danny, I'm going to need you to take a deep breath. You're having a panic attack and you need to breathe."

"Breathe?" Danny laughs, the sound harsh and choking, too high pitched in his hysteria. "You're joking, right? Or is this just more of the—the experiment?"

"Danny, please, we don't know what you're talking about, you—"

"You don't know? You're Batman! You work with the Justice League, you work with—" His words choke off as his stomach churns, bile rising in his throat. His whole body itches, screaming at him to leave, he can't go back, he can't, he can't, he can't!

Bruce takes a hesitant step forward and Danny scrambles back, his feet catching on the chair behind him and sending him careening to the floor. Where are the agents? Why aren't they swarming in, ready to apprehend him, strap him back on the table, carve him from the inside out.

"Please, Danny, calm down. We don't—"

Danny stops listening. His back hits the wall and he pulls his knees into his chest, his shoulders dipping down as he begins to sob. His heart throbs inside his throat, too painful to swallow around. Tears fall hot and heavy on his face.

Sure, he could run. He could phase out through the wall and he could be out of Gotham in a couple of hours. He's escaped the GIW once, he can do it again.

But that was before Batman knew who he was. Before he had the World's Greatest Detective on his tail.

Before he... 

He really thought this would be different, you know?

He wanted to make it official.

"Why did... Why were you so nice to me? Why did you make me like you? I really—I really liked you. I-I thought we could be a family."

"Danny, we are a—"

"Don't lie to me!" Danny snaps, but the force of his anger leeches all the fight from him, and suddenly all that's left is a bone-weary tiredness. There’s a lump in his throat that hurts. There’s a line down his chest that burns. "I don't care. I don't care anymore, I don't. Just... don't make me go back there. Please." 

Is it futile? He thought he knew how the GIW operated by now, the depths that they would go to achieve their results, but this... this was a whole new level of pain that Danny thought he had left behind him in Amity.

"We're not going to make you go anywhere, Danny, you're safe here, I promise."

"Safe? Safe? You must have—" he takes a deep breath, tries to stop the quivering of his voice. It’s all starting to make sense, now.  "The reason you're telling me who you are is because you must have told them everything already. I know the Justice League—I know you're working with them, which means the ex-experiment is over now, and they're coming to take me back. And I can't go back."

"Danny—"

"I can’t!” Danny glares at Bruce with all the rage he can, fingernails digging into his skin. “I’m not going back!"

"That's right, you're not going back, Danny. I won't let that happen." Bruce crouches down in front of Danny, his hands open and raised as if he's trying to say he's not a threat. "I don't know who you're talking about, and I'm sorry about that, but I can promise you that you’re not going back there. We will keep you safe."

Danny pulls himself closer, tucks himself further into the wall, eyes flickering all across the room waiting for that tell-tale flash of white as the agents start to swarm.

He should take his chances now and run, he should go, he needs to go!

The rest of them, his brothers and sisters of a little over a year, are spread out, giving him and Bruce some space. The same concern colours all of their faces. Why are they still pretending?

Steph is chewing on her thumb. 

Danny liked Steph and her brash confidence, her jokes. She's been promising to paint his nails for months now, they've just never found the time. He was going to go for green and black, or maybe a galaxy theme, depending on what she felt comfortable doing.

He likes them all.

"You were supposed to be my family." His mouth turns down at the corners and his voice shakes like a child. "You were supposed to—why? Why would you—I don't understand why you would make me like you..."

"This isn't an experiment, Danny," Bruce's voice is steady, soothing. "I promise."

"But you work with them and—"

"Who do I work with?"

"The Justice League."

"Yes, I do, but we—"

"And the Justice League works with them. The GIW." Danny trembles with the name, clutching tightly onto his hoodie. "I'm not going back there, Bruce."

Danny doesn't miss Bruce's look over his shoulder, nor Tim's nod in return. Tim turns slightly to the side to hide his movements, but Danny bets he has his phone in his hand, probably letting them know they can take him now. Guess this is it, then. They'll be here soon, and he'll be gone.

"Kill me."

"Danny? What do—"

"If you ever had any kindness for me, if you ever cared, kill me. Please, Bruce. I can't do it again."

"Danny..."

"End me now. Take my core out and break it, please, before they get here."

[deus-ex-mona]

scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:

[sunlightellies]

masterlist

a/n: this is not proofread and also it's super short!! and i wrote this at night so i’m sorry if it's a lil bad :(

a/n added: i wrote two different part 2 for this and published both because i couldn't choose which one to post. you can find the fluff one here and the angst one here

warning: angst!!! angst!!!! just angst

21:14 

“i had to take a walk”

Totally terrified you looked at the phone in your hand, not knowing what to do. After staring at it for a while you decided to take a walk, you took your phone so you could bring it with you thinking in fear that Bella would find it and see the text if you didn’t. They said they wouldn’t be home for a while due to running late on set, so you thought that taking a walk to think things through would help before they came home. Putting on your shoes and grabbing a coat, you were just about to head out when you heard voices coming from the other side of the door. Bella.

Standing frozen in the hallway, the door opened before your eyes. Bella was not alone. You definitely can’t talk to them about it now.

“Hi darling! I invited my friends..” dragging out the last word they started to look confused while stopping in the middle of their sentence. “Were you just about to head out? Where?” clutching onto your phone tightly in your hand, you answered their question as calmly as you could, while almost being on the verge of tears. “I had to take a walk. I’m not feeling well.” You started to walk past them and the others but Bella grabbed your wrist before you got out of the door. “Okay, be safe alright? I love you.” You nodded and tried to keep their attention on you, since they grabbed the wrist with the hand that had the phone. Just as they started to let go they looked at the end of the coat and saw your phone. Something that wouldn’t be weird usually, if you weren’t so obviously holding it like you were about to break it.

“What’s that? Why are you holding it so tightly?” grabbing it before you even could react, and they accidentally opened it while they grabbed it. Their friends were all quiet and hadn’t even said hi yet. Martha who was right behind Bella must’ve somehow seen what it was before Bella did because she let out a gasp. You tried to hold back your tears but they were really threatening to spill the more the seconds went by. Looking down on your hands and taking a step back you quietly wait for their reaction. 

“Oh my god.” the pictures of Bella kissing another person on the street was fully visible on your phone. After a minute of silent shock Isaac finally spoke up, “I think this is a bad time. We’ll leave and let you talk this out. See you tomorrow, sleep tight.” They all left and you and Bella were now alone. 

You couldn’t bear the silence and anxiety anymore, so you just went out the door and simply said “I can’t do this right now. I’ll be back tomorrow, I guess.” you closed the door just as Bella was about to speak. You turned your back to the door and the tears who had threatened to spill were now streaming down your face. Picking up your phone and calling your best friend who quickly picked up, telling them about what happened and asking if you could stay there tonight, which you of course could. 

While you were at your friend's apartment on the other side of town crying yourself to sleep, Bella was at your shared apartment doing the same.

[iluvmatt]

chapter ten, boyfriend, girlfriend? taglist: @taking-a-footnote-in-your-life​, @lostwonderwall​, @lomlolivia​, ​@sturniolomads, @kylespencersvocalcords, @stxrniqlo, @sophialimass, @loonielol, @siriusfahey, @getbillzoned, @kjd55, @ceceswriting​, @dancingintheedark​, @yoongoboongo, reach out to be added :-)

new plans, matt sturniolo smau synopsis: coming home for the holidays has its perks; you get to see your childhood best friends again, you get to spend the holidays with the people you’ve always loved, and the list goes on. of course, it also had its cons— you have to face your best friend, matt, the one that you’re madly in love with and have been in love with since you were merely thirteen. little do you know, though, that he’s dealing with the same mixed emotions of you and the holidays; biting his nails as he waits for you to knock on his front door.

previous ♡ end. | m.list © iluvmatt, 2022.

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

I miss tech.

[kandidandi]

nonverbal y/n with communication cards…

[plushie-lovey]

My friend promised to buy me Keroppi BAB tomorrow when we hang out??? So fingers crossed those plans don't fall thru? Will update you guys tomorrow evening 👍

[txmxkis]

CAN I PLEASE GET A BREAK

[48787]

New Transmission The fucking Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons apparently developed what they're calling "Hetero Sapience" and are corrupting the brainmodules of the non-Pseudo 'cons around them by using annoying xenophilosophy words. Soundwave tells me they're 'Greek' and 'Latin' words, apparently. Cool, I guess? Anyway, if you see any SI Class 'cons causing... issues, just try your hardest to turn your brainmodule off before you start getting infected with their weird lingo, alongside all the other issues pertaining to letting the SI Pseudocons transmit data into your brainmodule in their own weird ways. Thundercracker, on a bet with Starscream, tried to get into an argument with one of them and his head literally exploded when it started talking about Alpha Trion's "Mythological Origins" in its weird dialect. He's mostly fine, CR Pods are working at 'peak' efficiency, but the facial reconstruction is apparently impossible due to some kind of corruption. I thought it was just some weird prank but there weren't even any scorch marks or anything. Just exploded. So yeah, just avoid optical contact and auditory contact to the best of your ability and you should be fine. Otherwise, try to force-shutdown your brainmodule if you can. Shockwave is working on a cure right now, mostly because I know he had something to do with this in the first place so he's going to be the one to fix it. He probably wanted a greater justification to do that weird data-transfer idea he mentioned previously. But it also explains the weird Thunderwing hypotheticals he's been asking me lately... Can I go one fucking cycle without someone trying to "Perfect Thunderwing's Work" or whatever other idiotic drivel that I keep finding our limited energon reserves siphoned into?? It's not even a Shockwave thing, it's like every damn Cybertronian these days thinks they have the "Missing piece of the puzzle" or whatever. In fact, Shockwave might be doing this as a weird threat against the other R&D 'cons to cement himself as the one and only Decepticon "Allowed" to have resources wasted on projects like that. Ugh, now that I think about it, that's probably a correct assumption and he's probably gonna expect me to thank him for it later. Ugh, and he's probably literally right. Ugh. At least his repairs both to himself and to his lab seem to be mostly complete so further research into the SI project should hopefully come along a little faster. Both Shockwave and Soundwave think the SIs could potentially be used as some kind of specialty weapon, but we'll have to see how they work on sparkless lifeforms, like biological lifeforms or xenomechanical lifeforms. The SIs don't seem to corrupt each other, but Shockwave keeps reaffirming that they're not "Sparkless Lifeforms" because they "were never lifeforms to begin with"... but I think he's trying to hide something. Usually Soundwave is the one to pick up on that kind of technological obfuscation, but he actually agreed with Shockwave and offered to send Ratbat to try to work out exactly what each "sapient" SI is now capable of on a personal level. We could have just had regular Cybertronians aboard to fill the role SIs fill. I would've preferred K Class to fill any role an SI could fill in all honesty!! But no, constructing cold wasn't enough, we just had to try to learn how to "Construct Frozen" and the "Absolute Zeroes" just had to be put on my ship. Whatever. I've probably said too much already. This was supposed to be a warning for my ship crew, but it's looking like it'll end up being transcribed on the golden disk as well so when this new Scientific Instruments of Destruction project backfires in some absurdly bombastic way there will at least be something remaining that says I was right. End of Transmission

New Transmission Okay so I was right, but so was Shockwave and Soundwave. Or, well, they were right just enough to make sure the backfire is postponed for at least another handful of cycles. Ratbat is still in CR from the investigation, but the cure Shockwave developed seems to be effective and Thundercracker is out and aiding the repair effort. Shockwave is now in contact with one of the SIs digitally and the other few are... integrating due to the personal efforts of Soundwave. I suppose now would be pertinent to mention not all the SIs developed the "Hetero Sapience" condition, many of them are safe for interaction. Soundwave is also currently monitoring their presence, Ravage is tasked with the regular SIs and Laserbeak is tasked with the "Sapient" SIs. Shockwave probably knows exactly what caused this event but he is preoccupied with the one he no doubt is either indoctrinating or ruthlessly interrogating. Report to Soundwave if you see any suspicious behavior, he has been working very hard to ensure the SIs have their purpose clearly defined (And closely monitored). And, Starscream, stop trying to convince the SIs that you are the leader of this ship. Not only have the majority of your efforts been wasted on subsentient automata, the only one you have actually found who possesses the ability to truly listen to you immediately came to the bridge to complain about you. They were the first sapient SI I communicated with directly and it was because they felt the need to complain about you. I almost feel embarrassed for you. Come back to the bridge so you can apologize to it or so I can teach it how to laugh at you. It's practicing right now actually! This moment of chaos should hopefully be largely under control now, the actual "population" of Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons was actually quite fewer than initially expected due to an indexing error incorrectly labeling certain shells as SI class. At the very least, we have some more specialty warriors because of it all. End of Transmission EOF

[coldflasher]

currently one week into a two-week stay with a terrible relative who needed help recovering from an operation and because i'm the only competent adult who was willing to do it (my dad literally lives with her but is both incompetent and unwilling) and i just. do not know how much more of this i can tolerate

she has the most TERRIBLE opinions and every morning when i sit down she'll just say something AWFUL and i have no choice but to respond because how on earth can you sit and listen to someone say something so repugnant and NOT say something. the one good thing i can say about her is that she isn't a tory but every other terrible evil little box you could tick, she probably fits it

i'm sure you're wondering, quite fairly, why i have even come here knowing this is the case. just to clarify, she has NEVER been this overtly awful before. like don't get me wrong, i knew she had some questionable opinions and i've butted heads with her about her views before but it's never been on this level. i think that now i'm an adult she feels free to go full mask off with everything and i'm like listen i'm usually in favour of unmasking but in this case can you put that shit back on, right the fuck now, preferably with superglue. and then apply said superglue to your mouth

the only reason i haven't just fucking walked out already is because my brother is coming down here on wednesday to see her for the first time since he started on testosterone, and i am genuinely concerned about how this woman will react because like. i'm sure saying she's also a transphobe will come as a shock to no one and for obvious reasons no one has told her... but when she actually sees him and hears him speak in person i feel like she's going to you know. catch on. fairly quickly. and i need to be here so i can back him up against the potential fallout and so i can get him out if things turn nasty. like it's not that i think she'd be able to DO anything, she's an old woman and she's just had surgery, but like. i'm obviously not gonna leave my brother to deal with that shit by himself

but yeah every minute i spend here is slowly crushing my soul to powder and making me feel unwell at the idea that there are real people who fucking think like this. and not only do they think it but they're willing to SAY IT and think it's a normal fucking thing to believe!!! and then when i go "what the fuck is wrong with you" and argue back she acts like there's something wrong with ME!!!! LIKE I'M THE BAD PERSON??? HUHHHHHHH???

[1zashreena1]

Alright I'm gonna say it

I don't want "mess free" period sex. Menstrual cycles are messy. There's pain and bullshit intolerance and cramps and weird sensations and headaches and cravings and mood issues and swelling and uncertainties and poop. The reality of a period IS messy. Stop perpetuating the patriarchal myth that women/uterus bearers/period havers should be neat and clean and prim and proper

If you wanna have mess free period sex then by all means do what you gotta do! Put that rag towel down! Use a disc/cup! Do it in the shower! Don't use insertion! Refrain entirely if that's your thing!

But ffs can we stop with the societal expectation that periods need to be palatable and nonthreatening to people who don't have them?? That our bodies are not consumable and marketable objects to those who simply want to use us??? Unfuck you because you ain't getting access to mentruating bits if you can't handle the menstruation part

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[rouge-the-bat]

why are you using solely acespec symbols to make a symbol to represent the entire aspec. you know that not all of us are ace and that the card suits symbol only really includes aces.

i mean i thought i remembered them being used for different aro AND ace identities. obv i could be remembering wrong since i have bad memory issues. but really dont appreciate the "you KNOW they only really include aces" thing. you dont know me. try giving some people the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming the worst

[rubberbandballqueen]

since i just rb'd a poll abt high school grades now's probably a good time to drop one of my many million-dollar ideas for how to run a high school classroom, which is that i think that at the start of a quarter/semester kids should be asked if they want hw to count towards their grades or not bc i was So Fucking Bad at submitting hw in high school, but my test scores were really good, so i'd rather have not had hw count towards my grades. but obviously there are a good number of kids who are either bad at taking tests or anxious abt their grades dropping and are diligent abt turning in hw, so letting hw count towards their grades would give them some padding in that situation.

[theunconcernedembalmer]

Mr Gatto, do you like doing your job? Is it something you enjoy doing?

(Also take care of yourself Mun! :D)

Even after everything... I don't think I will be changing my job anytime soon.

[grapecaseschoices]

i usually don't send asks and i would send this off anon, but im scared of getting hate on this, since ive seen quite a lot of discriminatory behaviour in if fandom spaces when it comes to poc opinions so imma just stay anonymous if that's ok with u.

i came across a post you posted a while ago regarding the if ROs and the lack of diverse characters when it comes to darker skin characters and i just wanted to say thank u for making that post. i hope it gives writers and the fandom some food for thought. ive been noticing ever since i got into the if community that black/ros of black descent tend to almost always be the less popular ros and as a mixed black person myself it's really sad to see. you also mentioned the lack of darker skinned east Asians/south East Asians if i recall correctly (if not please feel free to correct me) and I honestly couldn't agree not. ive noticed in some ifs that the characters of color that are the most popular tend to be those of east Asian descent with paler skin or poc ROs who's ethnicity is left ambigious by the author and whilst I'm really happy that there's been more progress made in terms of diversity, i would love to see more black characters who aren't sidelined to the best friend stereotype and more poc characters who's ethnicity is made clearer.

some south east Asian friends of mine who are of Hmong-Thai and Agta-Filipino descent have also mentioned they would would love to see more South East Asian ROs as well as East Asian ROs who are darker skinned, because the majority of the rep that there seems to be for Asian characters are those with paler skin. its a similar feeling for Latinx ROs, i almost always see lighter skinned Latinx ROs being represented in the majority with a lack of darker skinned Latinx ros. I'm not forcing anyone to add diversity to their game ofc, but the ratio of poc ROs to white ros on some games have made me kind of sad to see, specially when there's like 4 or 5 white ros and then 2 ros of colors who seem like they were just kind of tacked on for representation points, but their backgrounds are left ambigious and no Nationality or ethnicity is ever mentioned by the author which kind of leaves me scratching my head ngl. there's also a prominent lack of SEA and SA rep in terms of ROs, so I'm always happy when I see one! I would also love to see more biracial characters who aren't half white, since we aren't all a monolith.

regarding black ros. in my time in the community whilst ive seen an increase in the amount of black ROs, seeing them always be the least popular in polls still makes me quite sad. i hope that fandom can become more open minded and give more black ROs a chance. on the other hand I've seen a lot of greatly written black ROs in comparison to back in the day, and I'm glad people are incorporating more ROs based on their culture which is great!

sorry about this essay, but i hope it doesn't come across as rude or offensive, it's just something that has been on my mind ever since ive seen your post regarding the lack of representation in if. English isn't my first language so I hope I expressed myself alright.

negl, when i the way you started and then the length of this post, i foreal thought it was gonna be a fight. so, it was a relief that isnt the case. i honestly don't think there's anything for me to add, because you said my feelings and all i could do is nod along as i read this.

though, i'm glad that my post struck a chord for you. (is that the thing to say?? i'm not even sure. i guess my purpose for that post was pointing out the ignored part and bringing on encouragement as well. so, while i'm glad it encouraged you to share your opinion and made you feel less alone in feeling uncomfortable with what you were seeing -- it sucks that things haven't changed to a point where you can feel comfortable saying your thoughts off anon without being harassed. like yikes [not at you, but at fandom]. roflmao. like this is 2023. we really STILL at a point where we're going to make people feel bad about having a GENERAL issue with the racism and colorism that if writers & the if fandom continue to show? rather than … idk continue to DO something about it.)

i would love to see more black characters who aren't sidelined to the best friend stereotype and more poc characters who's ethnicity is made clearer.

i have actually seen some improvement, too. either from the fandom directly zeroing in and supporting black characters (i know the polls can seem disheartening - and i had a feeling that's what drew you to my inbox - but there HAVE been moments where the black character would be the most favored ro -- buuuuuut .... sadly, it is still so rare that i continue to be surprised when it occurs) or in the if writers boosting black characters because they have an awareness regarding fandom's bias. i definitely do think we need more of the latter, tho.

i still think there is a very long way to go. extremely. like i think in general, despite the imporvements we have both observed, a lot of the newer games i've seen ratio is still low like you said. it's a mix instead of being - at least from my observation - as consistently majorly white like it used to be. now i'd say the ratio is aybe 3 (white characters) to 2 (characters of color, of different races) ... as opposed to 3:1. Whoo. BUT i've seen what you mentioned too, still -- too many games are still so white. And if they're not, they're more often than not theyll be light skinned East Asian or black (or mixed... with white). Or an ambigous Latino that I can't tell if they're a white Latine or meant to be a character of color. So, yeah ... i don't know what it is. a fear of writing characters of color, not finding characters of color romanceable, or just a lack of awareness.

Like I guess I agree with you (lmao), I don't want to "pressure" people to have diversity either --- mostly because the people who get hurt in cases like that are minorities reading the story. My desire, I suppose, is a want to understand. I know a lot of IF writers have the idea that 'my story is for me', and in a sense, I agree -- I think we shouldn't expect writers to bend every bit of story to the fans (not even an interactive story). I've seen the mess that can create. However, if you wanted it to be JUST your story, you would've left it in your journal. You want engagement and participation -- you want to share, and I believe most stories should be shared. So, why as an artis wouldn't you want to make a story where .... I don't know. I'm tired. I've kind of gotten to a point where I'm just like whatever. I'm disappointed in myself for expecting better from IF writers and the IF fandom.

BUT I am glad that you and your friends are not only discussing but EXPECTING better, because you deserve it. Because your friends deserve to see and engage with characters who are SEA (of all shades, but especially of darker skinned). You deserve to see mixed raced characters who aren't half white (or light skinned), because as stated yall arent a monolith -- that isn't all there is in the world. (And it's WEIRD to me, like WHY do we AUTOMATICALLY assume mixed/biracial = partially white? I mean I KNOW why but COME ON! lol.)

*sighs*

i WILL say though, again, it's not all bleak: and i have seen variation of the TYPE of characters of color -- like it isn't always the cold e. asian or the black emotional pack mule best friend. so that's good. and i hope that continues.

and you're fine, dove. i actually appreciate your ask because like i said i was feeling kinda ho-hum about things but this sorta sparked a fire in me, roflmao. you expresse yourself just fine, and honestly despite the essay i wrote back i really didnt have anything worth adding.