#should be more action in the next chapter and now i kinda know how i want things to go from here on out so it should be a bit better lmfao

[littleemissperfecttt]

Eat her out pt.2

Summary: F/n L/n was a very beautiful girl who was forced to marry not one, not two but FIVE men in order to preserve her clans bloodline. How will the marriage workout? Will the five men get along? Will F/n have a happy life?

Warnings: fingering, cumming, foursome? (kinda), eating reader out, jealousy, male masterbation, teasing, toji-nanami-sukuna worshipping reader

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Chapter 3

Readers pov-

I woke up with two of my very handsome and sexy soon to be husbands beside me

I groaned and stretched before sitting up

"Suguru baby wake up it's already morning we slept through dinner" i said in my morning voice as i shook him to wake him up

"Ok ok i am up" he said in his morning voice so deep it went straight to my core getting it wet

'Gosh what the fuck is wrong with me his voice alone can get me wet' I thought to myself as I mentally slapped myself for having such thoughts in the morning

I turned around to distract myself so I can wake Satoru up

"Satoru honey wake up" i shook him as he groaned and turned around

"Satoru..." I shook him again but this time he was so fast.

He was on top of me "let's sleep for 5 more mins" he said and laid on my breasts and nuzzled between them making himself comfortable

I blushed furiously because of which Suguru laughed "you are acting as though we didn't see every inch of you yesterday" I hit his chest and covered my face with my hands

"You guys are so....urgh!"

They both laughed

Satoru was about to say something when someone barged in the room without knocking

I squealed in surprise and Suguru rose from his place to see who had barged into the room

"We are not even married yet and you already have favourites??" Sukuna asked with narrowed eyes, making my eyes widen in shock

"What no! I don't have favourites Satoru and Suguru wanted to cuddle last night!!" I said pushing Satoru off of me and sitting up to defend myself

"Tch whatever we have to go wedding shopping today so we are going out, get ready and come downstairs" he said and walked away

"Sukuna wait!" I called out to him but he didn't turn back

I huffed and put my hands on my face not knowing what to do. I didn't have favourites how can I make them understand that? I want to give them all an equal chance

"Hey it's fine..." Suguru said resting his hand on my back rubbing it slowly "this relationship is new to everyone, it will take time to sort things out"

"But Sukuna..." I said looking down

"F/n-chan it's not your fault that he got jealous he has never had much competition ever so it will take him, more time than any of us...." Satoru said getting up

I only nodded my head not knowing what to say blaming myself for my actions last night and for hurting one of my fiance's feelings

"Why don't you guys go and get ready I have to get ready too" i said

"Sure" Suguru said he had a knowing look on his face which meant he knew I needed space for myself now, he got up from bed without saying much

"You know F/n-chan i can help you with getting ready" Satoru smirked at me

I blushed furiously "shut up" i hit his chest as he laughed out loud and got out of bed as well

"I will meet you guys downstairs??"

They both nodded their head while I smiled and excused myself to go get ready for a very long day ahead

'this is going to a rollercoaster of a day' i thought and started my bath

No one's pov-

The boys looked at each other then at F/n's bathroom door

"We should have talked about what happened yesterday with them too" Suguru said

"Hey you said we could make them jealous" Satoru replied as he crossed his arms pouting childishly

"I know but i didn't consider F/ns feelings... I want her to feel like an equal in this marriage not just a heir making machine..."

"I know buddy we can work things out just like you said..." Satoru replied now serious his childish demure melting away

"Hmm I just wish I knew how she feels about all this..."

Satoru just nodded his head understanding how his friend felt about this situation as he himself feels the same way

"Well let's go get ready we still need to talk to those people too" Satoru said changing the topic

The men went to their respective rooms to get ready

Timeskip brought to you by sukunas impatient ass

Satoru and Suguru got ready and headed to the dining room where they were met with the 3 very furious men

Suguru cleared his throat

"Gentlemen... I know the situation seems bad but it isn't as bad as you think it is" Satoru said

"Oh then how bad is it??" Toji asked sarcastically

"It was nothing... We cuddled her during the night... She didn't ask anything we just asked her ourselves" suguru said

Sukuna raised his eyebrows "are you sure that was it??" Sukuna raised his hand to show them F/n's crop-top which Satoru had ripped apart last night

Both Satoru and Suguru knew better than lying because they wanted this whole complicated relationship to work out

"No... We might have done something more..." Suguru said looking away

"I swear to god if you guys hav-" Nanami started but was interrupted

"No nothing like that happened we wanted her to feel good so we ate her out" Satoru said

"We wanted her to be comfortable... we wanted her to know she was special too" Suguru said

Sukuna rolled his eyes "if this whole thing is going to work out and if she says she doesn't have any favorites then we should get a chance like that too"

"You know it's not a decision we have to make.. it's solely F/n's" nanami said

"We should just be direct and ask her" Toji commented and everyone except Sukuna nodded

"Good morning guys" you came downstairs with a smile "When are we going out??"

No one answered the question

"Guys??" You called out again

"Look woman you said you had no favourites then let us do what they did to you too" sukuna said

"What??" You said while blushing

"We just want to please you baby if you want to that is..." Toji said

'what kind of deja vu is this??' you thought

"Umm you guys..." You started

"We want to be fair here since we got to know about your activities with them..." Nanami pointed at Satoru and Suguru

You were shocked to see even Nanami involved that's when you realized the depth of the situation and how it will affect your relationship with them

You gulped your saliva thinking everything through before saying "you can please me..."

"You don't have to F/n... We don't want to force you" Toji said caressing your hair to make sure you were thinking right. He didn't want this to be forced upon you, he didn't want this just out of obligation he wanted you to want this

"No I want to be fair with everyone..." You said knowing the consequences of your actions. You had fooled around a lot without thinking of their feelings so you agreed 'I want to know what you guys got too' you thought to yourself as you reframed yourself from blushing at the thought that came to your mind

"Are you sure??" Nanami asked

You just nodded your head

In a second Sukuna was kissing you and had lifted you up, he made you sit on the dining table after scattering everything on the dining table to the ground

His kiss was rough like he was trying to tell you something and one day you will find out what he wants to tell you. This kiss was so different from the kiss he gave you the day you all met

Sukuna pulled away and started kissing your neck while Toji came front and kissed you

You entangled your fingers in sukuna and tojis hair tugging it softly. This was the first time you were kissing toji and man you loved it, his lips were amazing, it molded your lips as though it was his from the beginning

You moaned into the kiss as Sukuna found your sweet spot on your neck as you tugged Toji's hair harder making him grunt into the kiss

Sukuna smirked victoriously and started abusing the spot and left marks there as though he wanted to claim you and show people you were HIS wife

Toji pulled out as Nanami kissed you without wasting another second while you tried to catch your breath

Toji lifted your shirt up which made the other two men stop their action and move their heads back a little

You peaked open your eyes a little to see what Satoru and Suguru were doing... Well they had their hands inside their pants and were stroking their length moaning softly while watching the actions going on between you three

They wish they were there pleasing you and see your expressions more clearly but they didn't want to interrupt the four of you and they also had their chances yesterday so they were quite happy

As soon as the shirt was removed Sukuna wasted no time and ripped your bra

"Hey that was my favourite!" You pulled away from the kiss and yelled at him which made him smirk

"Oh baby I don't think you will need to wear bras anymore you have our hands to cover them" he said as he palmed one of your breasts while Toji did the same to the other

"Oh gosh" you moaned as they palmed your nipples teasing you

Nanami started kissing your neck and going down between the valley of your breasts and burying his face there biting and sucking the spot in the process

Sukuna and Toji took both your nipples at the same time giving you extreme pleasure

You threw your head back and moaned

"Your moans are so sexy baby" Satoru said palming himself

Sukuna left your nipples and tore your pants and panties together as though they were nothing

He smirked and trailed his hands between your legs

"You are soaking already" he pulled out the transparent wetness from my thighs and licked it off his finger

You couldn't have the time to process the information as Nanami changed his spot from Sukuna and started sucking your nipples and Sukuna started kissing your inner thighs spreading them apart and going up to your core

You were a moaning mess the pleasure was too overwhelming to you

Toji and Nanami continued abusing your nipples while Sukuna was teasing your core with his fingers

"Sukuna please" you whimpered breathing heavily

"Please what baby?"

"Please stop teasing"

"My queens wish is my command" he said and plunged two fingers inside while you screamed from the sudden movement, to see your expressions more Sukuna stood up while pumping his fingers in and out

His fingers were much longer and wider than Satoru's or Suguru's. That's when you realised that Tojis fingers will be worse than this

"I know it will hurt at first my love but it will be fine" Toji said and kissed you softly which made your heart melt

You tugged his hair a little and pulled away moaning out loud

"Gosh baby you are squeezing my fingers I can't wait to put my cock inside you" Sukuna slurred fastening his pace

"Oh gosh Sukuna~" you moaned his name which sent shivers down his body, which made him move his fingers more faster

"Sukuna i am about to cum" you shrieked and a minute later came on his fingers

"You did great love" Nanami said and kissed you "now it's my turn" he whispered in your ear and bent down kissing your thighs and finally your core

You held onto Toji's shoulders for support as you didn't want to collapse on the dining table

"Nanami~~" you moaned as his tongue entered your core which was covered in your cum

Toji brushed your hair back and stared at you taking all your expressions burning them in his mind

You clenched your fingers onto Tojis shirt as you moaned "fuck baby you are so hot" he said and kissed you again

Sukuna was satisfied and licked his fingers clean while staring at you

Satoru and Suguru were looking intently while rubbing their already hard cocks 'I need to take a cold shower after this' they thought. They knew all 5 of them would take shower while their Queen would take a hot one to relax her muscles

Nanami did his job perfectly using his tongue to give you pleasure. He made you cum all over his face with his tongue alone because of your sensitivity

"Toji i am sensitive..." You whispered leaning onto his shoulder

"I know love but I know you can take me too" he said and plunged his fingers in slowly after Nanami got up while licking your essence from his face

"Fuck you are tight even after taking both of their fingers" Toji grunted and started to move his fingers faster making you a moaning mess

You kissed his neck and bit it leaving a mark just like you did to Suguru last night

He was shocked to feel you bite but he didn't complain, this just made him more aroused than ever

Meanwhile Sukuna, Nanami and Satoru were shocked to see you leaving a mark on Toji while you did nothing of the sort to them, obviously jealous of it but they knew better than comment right now

Toji skillfully used his fingers rubbing your clit and moving his hand in a faster pace to give you more pleasure

You threw your head back and cried his name out as you came on his fingers overwhelmed with pleasure

"You did so well my love so well" he said and gently kissed your forehead as you were catching your breath from all the pleasure you just had "you can rest now love I will take you to your room"

He picked you up and took you to your room laying you down and placing the blanket on top of you before leaving the room. As soon as your body hit the bed you were out cold forgetting all about the wedding shopping

"This is going to be a long long shower" he thought as he looked down on his bulge

[beezaj]

First of all thank you for the question!

Really happy to know that people like my writing and wants to know more, and about the question, at the beginning after posting about gingerbrave team, I was going to write post focusing solo on pure vanilla but because of some personal reasons I was too busy with my life in general to write something and now 7-8 chapters of beast yeast is out and I will have to remake and rethink some aspects of this au (yes now this is a full au) which I can’t promise to you or myself that it will be soon, but this comment had made my brain go if full speed mode so I will make a short summary on ancients(-white lily since she is a big spoiler).

The beast one will be a part of a lore that I still need to work on so they will not be here sorry :(.

Again thank you for this comment and for bringing me back to writing!!! Hope you enjoy it!

Also the name of au is Baked goods

_________________________________________________

Pure vanilla cookie - originally pure vanilla cookie wasn't sure what to think of you, no really witch-like creature about whom nothing is known? Doesn't bring trust at all, but quite an old cookie by nature tries to see better in situations and cookies next to him (he was literally tortured by Shadow milk cookie and he STILL wanted to be his friend) that's why he was the first one (almost, well holly berry cookie met backer after pure vanilla so) to be nice to you among the ancients.

He wanted to understand you. why are you here? why did you start helping cookie kind? why now?Why a group of children?

But he trusts you more than all the other ancients and even considers you his close (almost too close) friend and comrade, he sincerely trusts you and always glad to see you whenever you visit the vanilla kingdom, he likes to tell you stories and interesting things about their world when you do visit.

He doesn't mind that you guide gingerbrave and his friends after all these little children are close to pure vanilla cookie and he is sincerely glad that there is someone in the world who can protect and help them in case of need.

He knows that he can count on you.

HollyBerry cookie - her opinion on you is almost as good as pure vanilla’s if not the same ! Really and how can it not be when your very first meeting was in the battle against the greenish red dragon.

with you both of you against that old cranky lizard! as cookies say “enemy of my enemy is my friend” (she doesn’t really think of pitaya dragon cookie as an enemy tho)

of course when she just learned about you she was shocked and kinda confused by you but hey you were there to help so no problems in that.

right now she views you as a good person and descant supporter since in the first (and only ) battle she had seen you in action all you did was supporting the group of kids ,who at the time, also included her granddaughter.

Sure you appreciate might be little bit unsettling since you do look very much like a witch and you silent presence can be uncomfortable but you known to be doing only good things for your kingdom and cookie of it.

What harm in that , that is basically what she and her friends are doing.

She quiet found of your company and frankly it would probably be interesting to stay and spend time together more, but an cookie like her just can’t be on one place for too long she needs adventure she need the trill of free life! And that’s were your paths are going separate.

Tho she is always happy to see you and your little friends whenever you paths do cross again.

Maybe she should come visit your kingdom at least once, she heard a lot of good things about that place and would be happy to see it with her own eyes….

Maybe one day.

Dark cacao cookie -oh how many problems you had with this one.

From all ancients he was the second hardest cookie to befriend the only reason why he’s not the first one is because white lily cookie still doesn’t trust you.

Firstly he was threatened by you, like for him it’s already hard enough to trust an ordinary cookie, always expecting betrayal.

And the situation with the living void ? Yea let’s say his first impression of you was far from good.

The outlanders themself were a problem and they brought some type of beast with them?!?!? HOW DARE THEY AND YOU TO SHOW UP HERE!! He was full determent to make all of you regret that decision.

And then the battle with living void happened and short after he had lost control and become a monster by himself. It’s really good that the group of children were in time to reveal that thy here on pure vanilla’s behalf, when he hade heard them mention the name of a friend that he thought to be long time gone, he finally listened. Well more like read

Pure vanilla’s letter that had explained a lot of thing in.

It was truly nice to know that he was okay and that same outlanders that he thought were here for trouble were the one who helped his friend in need.

And after that moment his trust in you and the group of children started to build up.

Dark Cacao himself isn’t very chatty cookie himself but he dose accidentally talks to you

Your not his friend (not yet) but you are his ally and with every single battle you hade supported him in , his view on you became more positive

Who knows maybe one day he would call you his friend?

Golden cheese - her view on you and relationship in general very similar to dark cacao.

At the beginning she did not like you at all , she had her own virtual kingdom with all her trespassers and no place for outside things.

Then you and outlanders showed up , you fought, firstly against each other then together against smoked cheese cookie.

She find out you from pure vanilla and etc.

Just unlike Dark cacao she dose consider you a friend, gained witch like creature a friend, friend that she quite found of.

My-my, And how can she not ? You are very interesting as a ally as a person as a possible new treasurer of hers.

I mean she already considers her ancient friend, her people, even animals in her kingdom her treasures

why not add a new precious stone to her collection?

[gguk-n]

Chapter 5- The Finish Line

Arranged For Love (Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- And they lived Happily Ever After

No face claim. All the pictures are from Pinterest

Warning- Mention of death

Carlos and his family flew in for the funeral. He saw his wife, a shell of a person she was. She couldn't stop crying and barely ate anything. "Y/N, you have to eat. Grandma wouldn't be happy if you do this" Carlos reasoned. "If she's that unhappy, tell her to come and feed me herself" Y/N stated. Carlos hugged her, rubbing her back. "Everything will be okay. She's in a better place" Carlos whispered. "I just wish that better place was still with us" Y/N cried. The families stayed for a couple days, wishing their final good byes to Anika.

Once the burial was done and everyone had settled back home, "You should move in with me" Carlos said as he was getting ready to leave. "A change of scenery would do you well." Carlos explained. "I'll probably be going back to college. The restrictions are easing up and classes for the next semester will be on campus" Y/N said. "Until then you can come to the races with me" Carlos smiled. Y/N nodded. "I'll see you at your home race then" she said.

2021

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Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 268 others

y/n.y/l/n Home Race!!!🍾🎉

carlossainz55 you should come to all the races now❤️ landonorris it was so nice meeting the woman he wouldn't stop talking about🤔 charles_leclerc landonorris I agree🤌 avathetraveller the date vibes are emmaculate👌👌 user3 who is this and why is she posting Carlos?🙄🙄

2022

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Liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 1,890 others

y/n.y/l/n Finally done with college until I decide to get another degree😏

carlossainz55 so proud of you, hermosa😘😘 landonorris congratulations❤️ scuderiaferrari we might have an opening if you're looking for a job🫣 y/n.y/l/n scuderiaferrari yes please🥹 charles_leclerc congratulations❤️ user4 the last picture...I have many questions😅😅

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Liked by carlossainz55, 6,347 others

y/n.y/l/n Life for the past few months🤭🤭

carlossainz55 best birthday yet❤️😏 Liked by Author maxverstappen1 you're worse than I am at golf and that's saying something🫣 y/n.y/l/n maxverstappen1 Shut up! I will not take this slander. I started like a few weeks ago, unlike somebody😤😤 user5 I think she's dating Carlos, what a life?!🥺🥺 user6 I wish I was her, dating Carlos and travelling the world😭😭 user7 Carlos cooking will be the death of me🤤🤤

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 10,378 others

y/n.y/l/n From only being able to FaceTime you to being able to kiss you whenever I want, we've come a long way😭😭

carlossainz55 yes we have. Also the last picture is a lie, I'll have everyone know😤 y/n.y/l/n carlossainz55 please, you parents follow me😭 carlossainz55 to my parents, you might be grandparents soon😏 y/n.y/l/n carlossainz55 OMG!! I hate you😣😣 carlossainz55 y/n.y/l/n no you don't😉😏 user8 OK, TMI GUYS TMI🙄🙄 user9 we might have Carlos jr jr, IDK how I feel about that🫣🫣 user10 she's so cute, kinda hard to hate on her😤😪 user11 LDR to moving in, I'm so happy for them😭 user12 Carlos is a menace😂😂

2023

After moving in together, the two of them were enjoying spending more time together. They were cuddling in bed when Carlos realised that he really loved her and he couldn't imagine his life without her. He did like her when they got married but he felt like she deserved everything since she made him so happy and content.

That's when Carlos put his plan into action. He never got the chance to propose to her so he decided to plan a trip and flew them out to the French country side. He had everything planned. They drove up to the location which he had disappeared off to decorate a few hours back. Y/N had no clue that Carlos was planning something like this. Her jaw was on the floor when she saw the set up; she had tears in her eyes. "For me?" she asked. "Only for you" Carlos said. As the two sat together watching the beautiful scenery, "Y/N, I've known you only for a few years but you've made my life so much better. I can't imagine my life without you. Every day I thank your grandmother for bringing us together." Carlos said. "I love you Carlos, you make me so happy" Y/N smiled back, holding in tears. "I love you so much that's why, even though we are married" Carlos laughed pulling out a ring, Y/N's eyes widened, she saw Carlos get on one knee, "Will you marry me? Again" Carlos asked. "yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I'd marry you a thousand no a million times" she shouted hugging him.

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by avathetraveller, carlossainz55, carlosainzoficial and 198,270 others

y/n.y/l/n He proposed🥹🥹

carlossainz55 I want to spend the rest of eternity with you❤️ carlossainzoficial the cutest couple landonorris about time😌 charles_leclerc congratulations!!🎉 scuderiaferrari we are so happy for the couple❤️ fernandoalonso congratulations you both! user13 OMG!! Carlos is engaged!!!🥲🥲 user14 The proposal is straight out of Pinterest😭😭 user15 I'm kinda excited to see their wedding pictures now😭 user16 did Carlos plan the proposal out on his own?? he's so romantic🥲

2024

Carlos and Y/N decided to renew their vows on their 4th anniversary. The other's had no clue that this was a vow renewal and thought that the pair were finally getting married after dating for 4 years.

Ava planned a crazy bachelorette for Y/N with all their friends from school and university.

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by avathetraveller, carlossainz55 and 345,287 others

y/n.y/l/n I think I drank my weight in alcohol last night👌👌

avatraveller best bachelorette ever🤤🤤 jessiejames Can't believe you're getting married🤧🤧 alexandrasaintmleux prettiest bride to be ever!!🥵🥵 user17 I'm laughing🤣🤣🤣 user18 I want to be friends with her, they look like a lot of fun🥹🥹 user19 the theme of the party is killing me😂😂 user20 she has the best friends🥹🥹

Everyone had gathered for the wedding. All the drivers, both their families and friends were invited. Everyone who wasn't at their first wedding didn't know that this was a second one. Y/N still wore the necklace her grandmother gave her on her wedding day.

As Carlos waited for Y/N to walk down the aisle with her dad, Ivan had tears in his eyes as he walked his daughter down the aisle for the second time but this time without his mother. Y/N reassured her dad. He placed Y/N's hand in Carlos's.

The pair faced each other and the officiant began. It was Carlos's turn to say his vows; "I've known you for 4 years. I'm the luckiest man alive to have met someone who understands me so well and supports me. I'm so happy that your grandma played cupid. I promise to keep you happy forever. I knew I would be getting married but I didn't think I'd be lucky enough to marry the love of my life twice" Carlos finished. An audible gasp was heard from the crowd. "I would marry you a billion times. Carlos Sainz, you make me so happy and I'm also happy my grandma was a nosy woman. Being with you makes even the gloomy days sunny. You are the only man I want to spend the rest of eternity with" Y/N said. The officiant began, "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two beautiful souls. Do you, Carlos Sainz Junior, take Y/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" Carlos responded, "I do." "Do you, Y/N Y/L/N , take Carlos Sainz Junior to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" he asked Y/N. She responded, "I do." "By the power vested in me by the state and the Church, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." the officiant said. Carlos leaned in and captured Y/N's lips in a kiss.

The wedding was buzzing with the new information Carlos had just released. Everyone was busy asking them when they got married, they had power point presentation from their previous wedding playing. Everyone was very annoyed at them for hiding it. "In our defence you guys never asked" Carlos said. "What do you mean never asked? You announce stuff like this" Lando whined. "Sorry Lan, at least you got to be in this one" Y/N cooed. "I'm not a child. I hate you both" Lando groaned. "Maybe he's tired." Y/N told Carlos while looking at him. "Get some rest" Y/N told Lando, patting his back.

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Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 2,367,049 others

y/n.y/l/n Did we get married or renew our vows? The world will never know��👀

landonorris still can't believe I was lied too🤧🤧 lewishamilton Congratulations!!❤️ charles_leclerc I'm still shocked😔 alexandrasaintmleux It's okay you lied, at least you're pretty🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ Liked by Author danielriccardo top 10 f1 betrayals🙃 fernandoalonso congratulations to the couple😊 user21 OMG!! WHAT??!!😳😳 user22 Carlos was always married? For how long?😮😮 user23 IDK if I should laugh or cry😧😧 user24 My whole world turned upside down🫨🫨

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Liked by carlossainz55 and 567,390 others

y/n.y/l/n Happy to announce carlossainz55 put a baby in me😏👌

carlossainz55 I take full responsibility🤤😏 carlossainzoficial Congratulations!! Can't wait to be a grandpa landonorris already making a McLaren jumpsuit for the baby😌 charles_leclerc so happy the jumpsuit made it into the announcement☺️ alexandrasaintmleux the prettiest pregnant lady I know😍😍 avathetraveller I'm ugly crying!!😭😭 y/n.y/l/n avathetraveller don't. I'll cry too😭 scuderiaferrari new driver🤔 y/n.y/l/n scuderiaferrari he would be if his dad was still driving for the team🤯 user25 okay Y/N popped off on Ferrari, also boy dad Carlos🤔 maxverstappen1 redbull jumpsuit on the way y/n.y/l/n maxverstappen1 I mean 🙂‍↕️😏 fernandoalonso I feel so happy y/n.y/l/n fernandoalonso I believe you'll be on the grid by the time our child gets there☺️☺️ user26 we're getting a mini Carlos or Y/N. Can't wait!!🥹 user27 This is such a happy news after the train wreck in the past few weeks😭 user28 I'm happy Carlos has something happy to look forward too😭😭 user29 did Y/N just reveal the gender? (Its a boy, I think) Don't tell her🤫🤫

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 1,268,290 others

y/n.y/l/n Stress is bad for the baby but this man made me go throw a hurricane of emotions in the last 2 weeks. Still so proud of you baby

carlossainz55 couldn't have done it without you😍❤️ y/n.y/l/n carlossainz55 you gave me the motivation and our baby❤️❤️ avathetraveller congratulations Carlos user30 he's gonna be the best dad!!😭 user31 Congratulations Carlos, only man to break RedBull's streak😭🥹 user32 If I was Y/N I would've gone mad by now🤧 user33 He looks so happy in the second picture🥹🥹

2025

carlossainz55

Liked by y/n.y/l/n, williamsracing and 1,280,290 others

carlossainz55 To the best few years of my life!! Can't wait for many more🥂

y/n.y/l/n Can't wait to have more of your babies if they look this cute😏😏 carlossainz55 y/n.y/l/n I hope you're ready😏 landonorris I was gonna say something nice but no, you guys are nasty🤢🤮 y/n.y/l/n landonorris shut up🤬 alex_albon Lily might kidnap your kid the next time he comes😔😣 y/n.y/l/n alex_albon can she kidnap me too??😖😖 carlossainz55 y/n.y/l/n what do you mean by that??😤 user34 they are so chaotic, I love it🤣🤣 user35 Congratulations dad Carlos❤️❤️ user36 Can't believe they didn't name him Carlos the third🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ user37 user36 I think I would kill my baby daddy if he did something like that🤦‍♀️😟 user38 cutest family on the grid❤️ user39 I already know the kid probably has his own kart😳 user40 a couple more years and he'll be a karting champion😭😭

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Thank you to everyone who read this!!

[stariiesz]

୨⎯𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚄𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝙰𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 ⎯୧

Chapter 2

Tw: physical violence, cursing

Authors note: It only gets better from here, kinda. also this isn’t proof read, enjoy!:)

September 1st 2015

“Satoru, why do you not like y/n?”

Satoru looked up from the book he was reading and met eyes with his friend who was gulping down a whole strawberry soda. Satoru sighed and placed a bookmark in his book so he could pick it up later.

“I don’t know, she’s just… irks me,” Satoru responded as he ran his hand through snowy strands of his hair. “She doesn’t stand up for herself and lets people take advantage of her. I mean you see it yourself, she always lets people cheat off her and stuff.” Satoru expressed as he picked around at his school lunch with his plastic fork.

“So that’s why you don’t like her? I thought there was something more to it.”

“There are other reasons too,” Satoru says quietly as he takes a spoonful of the pudding on his tray.

Satoru wasn’t mean. He was a fair man. He wouldn’t dislike someone for no reason, there was always something to back it up. In your case, it was something you didn’t even know about. Something that if he had just talked to you for a second he would know none of it was true. That it was all a lie, but that never happened, so he was left with a bad impression of you from the start.

August 16th 2013

It was the first day of high school for Satoru Gojo, a spoiled kid who had never heard the word ‘no’ in his life. But unlike others, he remained humble, and kind, and treated everybody fairly. Satoru was the type of guy who wouldn’t harm a fly. Because of his personality, he was naturally a people magnet. People just seemed to like him and wanted to be around him. One of these people was his good friend, Alina. A friend he’s had since childhood. Their mothers were friends with one another so they would often see each other as kids. They went to elementary, middle, and now high school together.

Unknown to Satoru but clear to everyone else, Alina had a huge crush on Satoru and had one for a while now. It was obvious in her actions and the way she looked at him. She would make sure he only looked at her and no other girl. But Satoru was a teenage boy, it wouldn’t be ideal for him to be so in love at such a young age. And that was reflected on the first day of high school when he first laid eyes on you.

You were quiet, pretty, and seemed kind and well-intentioned. He knew you were his type the moment he saw you. Satoru was staring at you from the moment you walked in class until you sat down right across from him. You looked over at him and he quickly looked away, but not before you could give him a warm smile. His cheeks had a small tint of pink to them when he saw you smile at him. Alina, who was sitting next to him, glared at you which you had taken note of. You thought that maybe this girl and this cute boy were dating, so probably you should back off.

“Satoru!” Alina whined in a somewhat obnoxious voice. “You know that girl that you’re looking at? She’s like super mean.” Satoru turned to face Alina with a curious look. You didn’t seem mean though, you were so reserved and didn’t talk to anyone. You seemed the exact opposite of mean to Satoru at least.

“How, what’d she do?” Satoru asked as he played with the rim of his notebook. Alina hesitated for a second as she had no real proof to back up her lie about you. “Uh, I heard she bullied some poor girl in her old school. She made the girl change schools because of it, it was bad.” Alina lied as she looked at Satoru with remorse. “I wouldn’t even get involved with her, Satoru.”

Satoru raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you hear this? It’s like the first time we met her.” Satoru asked somewhat suspicious of his friend, but rightfully so. This was everyone's first day at high school, so how would Alina know such rumors about you when you didn’t even attend the same middle school?

“Well actually Satoru, I didn’t want to say this but… before class I saw her in the bathroom and I liked her outfit so I complimented her.” Alina took a dramatic sigh as she ushered him to come closer. “She scoffed at me and told me I was ugly. It really hurt my feelings, Satoru. So as my friend, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t entertain her.” Alina said as she pretended to look sad, a little hurt even.

“Are you sure it was her? I don’t know her but she just doesn’t look like the type to say stuff like that, ya know?” Satoru said, brushing a strand of her hair out of her face. Alina frowned at him. He seemed to be taking the side of a stranger over his friend, best friend even.

“It was her, I looked her directly in the eye when she said it. She’s no good Satoru, just don’t get involved with her, kay’?” Alina said as she played with the bracelet on Satoru’s wrist that she had given him. It was one that she had made for the both of them with little connecting hearts. It was one of the many times she would try to confess her love for him through small actions, but Satoru was oblivious.

“If you say so, Alina,” Satoru said as he gave Alina a small smile and connected their bracelets together. Alina was happy that Satoru had believed her lie. Now that he agreed to not get involved in any way with you, it was one less girl to worry about for Alina. Alina felt very possessive over him, she acted like he was her boyfriend and would often try to embarrass any girl who wanted Satoru’s attention. But this time was different. It wasn’t a girl seeking out Satoru’s attention, it was the other way around. This could be a problem for Alina, even if she told him not to get involved she wasn’t confident he would listen to her. So making up a little lie with little to no evidence wasn’t going to be the only thing she had to do.

That day, Alina found people who used to go to your old school and asked what you were like. All the responses were positive. You were pretty quiet but nonetheless you were still kind and considerate of others. That wasn’t going to work for Alina. Satoru wasn’t stupid. Even though Alina was his good friend, and he wanted to believe her, she was just one person. Satoru wanted confirmation of this story about you being a bully. So he would also ask people from your old school. Now, this is where things went downhill for your public image.

Alina not only found the kids who went to your school, but went as far as to bribe them. She said if they would lie and make rumors about you, she’d pay them, and even give the girls Satoru’s number. A lie of course. Alina was simply using them, making them play into her cards. She would do whatever it took to make Satoru hers, even if it meant tearing down someone else.

Luckily for Alina, the bribery worked. All sorts of rumors spread about you, which quite frankly you didn’t care about. All you focused on was your studies and your own personal hobbies. You could care less if a few lies spread about you, you knew they weren’t true and that’s all that mattered. Unbenounced to you, there was one rumor started by Alina herself that she told Satoru and had people back her up. You had never heard of this rumor, perhaps if you did, it would explain why Satoru was so cold the last 4 years of high school.

“Hey Satoru, did you hear? Y/N was talking bad about you and your family. And even your.. you know.” One of his many newfound friends said.

“Yeah, that was really messed up. I can’t believe she’d make jokes about your… dad and stuff.” Another voice chimed in. Alina sat there with a smirk on her face. It was working. Her plan was working. Sure she could’ve left it with the small rumor she made about you being mean to another kid, but this was Alina. She wanted to start drama and had fun doing it all.

“Oh my god yeah, she's so messed up in the head.” Alina joined in holding Satoru’s arm. There had been a rumor that stood out from the rest about you. It was a rumor that you had made fun of Satour’s passed father. A very sensitive topic for Satoru.

His death happened a few summers prior. It affected him and his family greatly, especially Satoru. Satoru was always very fond of his father. They would play soccer together, go to arcades, etc. His father was his biggest role model, so it struck as a shock to him and his family when his dad got into a horrible car accident on the way to pick up Satoru from soccer practice.

Satoru felt like it was all his fault that it happened. If Satoru hadn’t been so instant in going to soccer practice, it never would have happened. His dad would still be there and Satoru would still be happy. But of course, life is not always perfect, and things don’t go the way you want them to go. Satoru learned that early on.

While he was grieving, there were many people there for him, but the one he was most comforted by was Alina. Alina had lost her mother at a very early age. She didn’t remember her mother but it still hurt to see other kids with their moms doing stuff with their kids and then there was Alina. Because of this, the two of them formed a bond and were best friends from there on out.

Satoru took a few weeks off school when it happened but he returned soon after. People were worried about him, but he was able to keep up a smile even throughout the tragedy. Alina was always there for him even at their young age. So it made sense that he would believe her.

“She what?” Satoru asks, snapping out of his flashback and joining his friends in the conversation.

“Yeah man, a few girls overheard her talking about your dad and making fun of him, she’s horrible.” One of his friends said. Satoru was mad. It wasn’t just Alina saying that you had said horrible things about his deceased dad, it was the whole grade playing along with her. From here on out Satoru started to dislike you, a lot. He didn’t want to confront you about it because it would just be a waste of time, but it would have been better if he did. He simply started to ignore you and roll his eyes when he saw you. You were confused because just a few days ago he was smiling at you in class, but now he just gave you cold glares and scoffed when he saw you.

You were in your own little world. You don’t know why he changed but he did and you couldn’t do much about it. You usually didn’t mind when other people ignored you but when he started to as well, it seemed to bother you. At the time, you didn’t know but you had started to develop feelings for Satoru. But now he seemed to hate you for what you thought was no reason so you just dealt with it. Those feelings stayed for all four years of high school. If only you had known of the rumor. You would have immediately cleared it up with Satoru. You would have made it known that you would never say something like that much less about him. But what’s done is done, and there is no way to change that now.

July 24th 2017

It’s been about a month into your summer break. You haven’t kept in contact with anyone from your old high school, but you didn’t need to. Your summer is going fine so far. You now have time to dedicate to your hobbies and doing other fun stuff. You were a little nervous about one thing though, and that was college coming around the corner. Even though you were nervous it was kind of like a fresh start for you.

You could meet people who didn’t make or know fake rumors about you. You could meet people with similar interests and hobbies. What mostly interested you about the college was the writing class course they offered. It’s a very popular course and it was one you wanted to take. The teacher was told to be great at their job and taught interesting topics. Ever since you heard your older cousin took it and liked it a bunch, you also wanted to take it. Another reason you wanted to take it was because it was one of the courses Satoru wanted to take. But he’s not going to the University of Kyoto so that failed.

Besides the occasional worry about starting college in August, summer was treating you well. Today was one of the annual Japanese festivals. You were going to go with your parents and little sister to eat some good food, play games, and watch the famous fireworks. It was something you did mostly every year. It was going to be an all-around good time. Your parents were busy with work so it was one of the times the whole family could spend time together.

You started to get ready for the festival. You put on your prettiest Yukata, tied your hair in a bun, and put on a little makeup. It was one of the times you gotta dress up and it made you feel good about yourself. On the car ride there you laid your head on the window and pondered to yourself. ‘I wonder where Satoru is right now.’ You thought to yourself as you listened to some lovey-dovey song through your headphones. ‘I bet he’s gonna get a girlfriend in college too.’ You rolled your eyes at your thoughts. So what if he did, he’s going on about his life. You thought confessing would make you stop having these sappy thoughts but you found that to not be true at all.

Ever since you confessed you thought of Satoru a lot more. Probably more than you did before you confessed. The thoughts wouldn’t go away but you had to remind yourself that he’s going his own path and you need to focus on yours. What kept eating at you though was now that he had changed colleges he would be going to Alina’s college and they’d only continue to get closer to one another. You sighed and closed your eyes as you listened to your music. Now a sad song was playing, ironic huh?

As you and your family entered the festival your nose was filled with a handful of smells. Fried foods, sweet pastries, and the smell of the beautiful blue ocean. The same shade of blue as Satoru’s eyes. Sigh, you have to stop thinking about these sappy things.

You moseyed around with your family for a while playing games and trying different foods. You ran into a few people from your old high school but they didn’t acknowledge you so you didn't either. You could have sworn you saw Alina but you were being rushed by your mom to help her carry something. It would have ruined your whole night if you did see her though. But for now, you just ignored it. It probably wasn't her anyway. You overheard her saying she was going to Europe for the summer anyway.

The fireworks were going to start soon. As you and your family sat down on a good spot on the crowded beach, you felt the reminiscence of the huge drink you had earlier and had to use the bathroom. You excused yourself and headed to the lady's room. After you finished your business you touched up your makeup and made sure your hair was good. As you applied a slick layer of lipgloss you noticed someone come up behind you.

“Excuse me, I gotta…oh it’s you.” The voice said, suddenly changing the tone when they caught a glimpse of your face. It was none other than Alina all dolled up for the festival. You briefly moved out the way as she asked and she stared you up and down as she touched up her lipstick.

“You know, Y/N, Satoru’s here,” Alina said with a smirk as she went back to putting on her lipstick. Your heart dropped when you heard his name. Satoru was here after all. Of course, you were happy, but there was a catch if Alina was mentioning it.

“Yeah, we're actually dating now. Took a while but we finally confused our love for each other, cute, right?” She said with a laugh. “He doesn’t want you, he never has, so just get over him, kay’? We're happy together.” She said brushing some strands of her brunette hair out of her face. Your heart dropped again but not because you were happy this time. No, because you were crushed.

You knew that you and Satoru getting together would probably never happen and that he would find someone he truly loved. But you didn’t think so soon, and with her of all people. You couldn’t lie, it stung a little, but you couldn’t let Alina know that so you kept your emotions concealed.

“Congrats to you two, I guess.” You said in the most unbothered way you could. You were just about finished touching up so you were about to leave when she grabbed your shoulder.

“Wait up a minute,” Alina said, halting your movements. “I just want you to know… that he would have never wanted you anyway. I mean look at you and then look at me. I’m pretty, skinny, and brunette while you... Well, you're you. You shouldn’t have gotten your hopes up in the first place, I mean-” SLAP.

You were fed up with Alina. She was annoying and just straight-up rude. You didn’t bother anyone and yet she seemed so envious of you. You’ve taken enough of her crap. Now that school is over you weren’t gonna get in trouble so you went for it. You slapped her, and it felt good. She deserved it.

Her jaw dropped and she held the side of her face which you slapped.

“You're a real bitch you know that!” She said grabbing her purse and running off probably to tell Satoru and her minions. You didn’t care though. After years of her little snarky comments, this pushed you over the edge. It was so unlike you. You were never really one to escalate to physical violence, but if it was Alina anyone rightfully would.

You finished your slight touch-ups and walked out of the bathroom to join your family on the beach for the fireworks. On the way there you bumped into someone and some stuff in your bag fell. Both of you bent down to pick it up before you could see who it was.

“Oh sorry about that.” You said as you put the stuff in your bag. As you looked up to see who it was you bumped into foreheads with them, but when this happened you saw those cerulean eyes. Those eyes were unmistakable. You had to be sure it was him. You looked up at him as he offered you a hand to get up. There was no mistaking those snowy white strands and those beautiful blue eyes. It was Gojo Satoru.

‘Why is he being nice to me?’ You thought to yourself. It seems you thought too soon because as soon as he made eye contact and realized it was you his warm smile disappeared and he replaced it with a frown as he put down his extended hand.

“Oh, nevermind.” He said as he walked off with his hands in his pockets. Great. You had actually thought for a second that maybe, just maybe he would start to like you, but no. As soon as he realized it was you he walked off probably to go and join his new girlfriend and talk about how much of a hopeless romantic you were. You sighed as you got up yourself and continued your walk back to your family on the beach.

The fireworks were beautiful as always but you couldn't fully enjoy them since all you were thinking about was your previous encounter with Satoru. What had gone so wrong to make him hate you? That you’ll never know.

After the festival was over, you walked back to the car with your family. In the parking lot you had caught a glimpse of Alina who was standing with Satoru. She looked back at you with a cold glare. You could care less at the moment. Suddenly she got a devious smirk on her face as she took Satoru’s arm and kissed him. Now that you care about it. You looked away blinking back some tears and turned to face your family. You tried to ignore what you just saw and paid attention to finding the car and getting the hell out of there.

What was once supposed to be a fun, traditional family event you looked forward to was ruined this year by Alina and Satoru.

Authors note: yes I did reference jjk chapter 261 :p

3.6k words

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[perksoftime]

𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙎 𝙒𝙀 𝘾𝘼𝙉’𝙏 𝙏𝘼𝙆𝙀 𝘽𝘼𝘾𝙆

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 6

a/n: sorry for the wait, but here's a nice long chapter!

“Hey.” 

You turned your head, seeing Peter land on the rooftop, his suit long gone, now replaced by a hoodie. He took a seat on the ledge next to you, giving your hand a squeeze. You mustered up a small smile, before looking back out towards the city.

“You okay?” Peter asked, noticing the air around you. He paused. “Is it your dad?”

Laughing, you lay your head on his shoulder. “How’d you know?”

“I know you, Y/N. You always come out here when you guys fight.”

You sighed. “He just doesn’t get it. I don’t know how to make him understand. He’s so…stubborn, and set in his ways. I wish he’d at least try to be more open and realize that I don’t have to be what he expects me to.” 

“I think his mind is too old.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.” You snorted. “He’d take away your suit.”

“Right. Don’t tell him. I kinda need it.” He looked around in false fear, as if your dad would randomly show up on this old building.

The two of you sat in silence for a while, soaking in each other's presence. You assumed that was the end of the conversation — it was always back and forth with Tony. He wouldn’t change, no matter how much you wanted him to. This was just something you would have to learn to accept. 

“Give him some time,” Peter’s voice echoed into the night sky. “I know it seems like he doesn’t understand, and that he wants too much from you, but you are his first kid. And it’s not like he had any good role models, either. I’m not saying his actions are totally justified, but you should look at things from his point of view. Just how he should with you.”

You raised a brow. “When did you get so smart?”

”Always been.” He smirked, tucking loose strands of hair behind your ear.

“Shut up. I literally saw you web your own hand to the table last week.”

“Okay but listen, in my defense…”

——————————————

You cried the whole way back to your house. Even though you tried to hold it together, you cried in the taxi, you cried walking the rest of the way to your house after getting out early from embarrassment, and you still cried even after the door slammed behind you. Everything you held in for weeks came crashing out, and you could no longer keep it inside. The dam had finally collapsed.

The tears only subsided once your head hit your pillow, the sound muffled, no longer echoing through your empty house. You never thought your night would end this way – maybe if you hadn’t left with May, you’d still be able to hold onto the illusion that things between you and Peter could work out eventually. That there was something salvageable. But after the night’s events, you became certain that bridge was forever burned, and you couldn’t fix it, even if you wanted to. It was time to come to terms with the fact that your old life died along with your father, and that just like him, it would never come back to you. 

But you didn’t know how to move on. You were stuck in time, unable to forget how things used to be, how your life used to be. It was strange to think that just a few months ago (in the sense), everything seemed to be going exactly how you planned, a stark contrast to the present.

You thought back to earlier that night. Maybe you had been a bit unjust, blaming Peter as the reason why everything cracked, but he was mean. That was never a word you’d use to describe the boy you used to love, and up until that moment you didn’t even think he was capable of being so harsh. This was the guy who literally sacrificed most of his nights to help the people of the city, the guy who could never let anyone get hurt…except you. 

It’s all your fault. You made him like this. Ruined him. You should’ve stayed away. 

He was right. You destroyed everything and everyone around you. A burden. And as you lay face down on your bed, you made a silent vow that once high school was over, you’d leave without a warning, no trace left behind. There was no reason for you to stay here anymore, really. It would be easier to just start over somewhere new, where nobody knew you, or had to be brought down by your actions. 

Typical. Always running away.

“Shut up!” You screeched, smacking the pillow as you lifted your head, unable to ever find some semblance of peace and quiet in your mind. Brushing your hair away, your eyes drifted over to your desk, where the small device had been laying ever since you had received it. 

Slowly, you lifted from your bed, travelling over towards it, as if some force was enticing you. Months had passed, and you delayed watching the message, not wanting to face reality, but now something inside you no longer cared. You owed it to your dad to do this. 

Deep breaths. You’d stopped crying by now. There were no tears left inside of you, anyways. Lifting the device, you carried it back over to your bed, sitting down as your finger loomed over the button. It was now or never – if you didn’t do this now, you didn’t think you ever would. The device was light in your hand, and you found it strange how such a small thing had your mind spinning back and forth.

You pressed it. In front of you, a projection began to form, Tony coming into view. It was so…realistic. Like you could reach out and actually feel him. He looked older than how you remembered him. His hair seemed thinner, and gray, something you had never seen much of before. A few wrinkles scattered his face, but for the most part, he still looked like your dad. The only unusual thing was that he was…content? Was that the right word? Unlike before, he no longer had the weight of the world pressing down on him. You knew he had hung up the suit after the blip, and it would’ve stayed that way if things hadn’t gone so wrong. For the first time since you knew him, your dad looked at peace with his past, with what had happened to him. He stopped struggling. 

He was sitting down, in his lab you assumed, his eyes boring into yours. You looked down, the eeriness of it all seeping in, and you pressed the button again to start the message. You weren’t sure what to expect. Did he know he was going to die? Is that why he recorded this? Or was it just some coincidence, some feeling within him that compelled him to do so? 

It began. At first, he didn’t speak. He was just looking down, then up, as if he was unsure of what to even say. Judging by his slightly disheveled appearance, it was probably recorded last minute, something that should’ve never existed. 

Tony let out a sigh, before finally directing his gaze fully upwards. He sat up straight, and slightly cleared his throat.

“We’re going to try and bring everyone back tomorrow…to bring you back. I almost didn’t agree. Not that I didn’t want you back. Of course I do, it's just…I thought that I had come to terms with what happened. That I was finally okay to ‘move on’ after five years.” He finger quoted. “But I don’t know who I was trying to fool. Truth is that even now, after all this time, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, Y/N. You were the best part of my life, and when you…” He glanced upwards, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment. “I didn’t know how to feel, how to act. So I hid. I left my past behind, and tried to forget. I stopped being Iron-Man because I just couldn’t do it anymore. I thought that the suit took everything from me. But I lost sight of all that it had given me. Without it, I would’ve just been some arrogant, egotistical ass that had no purpose or direction. Actually, I wouldn’t even be alive if it wasn’t for the suit.”

He paused, and you sat there, motionless, unsure of how to react. It had been so long since you heard his voice, and it struck something deep within you, awakening it.

“When I was in that cave being held hostage by the Ten Rings, there was a doctor there with me – Yinsen. Not sure if I ever told you that, things have all jumbled together in my mind. One night he asked me if I had any family waiting for me back home. I told him no, and he said that I ‘had everything…and nothing’. He was right. I had all the money I could ever need, and my company was booming, but I had no one missing me. Nobody who ate dinner with me just because, no one to come home to, no one to really call family. It made me wonder what my life really was, if it really had any true meaning or value. If I died, the world would move on in a blink.

But then you came into my life, and everything changed. I had someone relying on me, someone who needed me. You made me a better person, Y/N. I know we’ve had our ups and downs, and I admit I should’ve done some things differently, but in the end, I wouldn’t take anything back. I’m glad you stumbled into my life because if you hadn’t, I would not be who I am today. And I can’t believe it took me so long to acknowledge it. I should’ve…I should’ve fought harder to bring you back. I shouldn’t have given up so easily, or accepted the fact that you were gone. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

His voice cracked a bit as he said it, eyes brimming with remorse. You wished he hadn’t felt that way. It wasn’t his fault. 

“I, uh, came into the lab for the first time in years. Something compelled me to, and you know what the first thing I saw was?” He held up a frame, a picture of you and him, along with Peter. You remembered that day. The three of you had been working in the lab for hours, perfecting some details on Tony’s suit, and Pepper had strolled in, and decided that was the perfect time for a picture. In it, you were situated on Peter’s back, laughing with him, while Tony wore an annoyed smile on his face. It was one of your favourites, and you had gotten it framed for Tony and Peter. A tribute, of sorts. 

To remember me by. You had told Peter that. He had responded with some remark about how your dad would always be watching him now, but you knew he loved it. You wondered if he still had it in his room. Probably not.

Tony looked down at the photo, rubbing his chin. “Looking at this made me realize that I couldn’t leave the two of you behind. I had to at least try to do something. So I did. I found a way, Y/N. I’m going to bring you back, no matter what. I wasn’t there for the first few years of your life, but I want to be for the rest of it. I want to see you graduate. I want to walk you down the aisle. I want to see you live. You deserve that. I can’t continue on with my life knowing that I could’ve done something to bring you back. And even though it took some thinking, I put my all into this – we're going back in time. Now, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or if it’ll even work, but I’m going to try. For you. 

I wasn’t going to film this, really. I was going to wait until we were back together to tell you all this, but something in me told me to, just in case. I have to leave you with something, at least. I want you to know, Y/N, that you mean everything to me. And I know that I don’t say it much, but I love you.” He laughed, quietly. “God, it's been five years since I’ve said that to you. Can you believe it? Your old man really is old now. I’m not cut out for this shit anymore, but for you, I’ll do it. So, hopefully, soon, you’ll be back with me, and we can all be a proper family. Oh, you might be a little surprised when you come back. Some things have…changed, a bit. But in a good way, I promise. I should go now. I think this thing has a time limit? Anyways, I’ll see you soon, Y/N, and, again, just for good measures, I love you.”

The recording halted, Tony’s smile lingering for a moment before the image vanished from sight. Your eyes were still locked into where he had been, and you realized tears had once again begun to stream. 

Silence. Until a guttural sob left you, and you broke down, this time much worse than you had before. Everything you had felt when you first found out about his death came back, and it was like you had been transported back in time to that very moment. Your chest felt tight, your lungs unable to function.

He was so optimistic. He thought he was going to come back. Little did he know that he would never see you ever again. His gut feeling was right, and you desperately wished it hadn’t been.

He shouldn’t have done it. He should’ve left you dead. You weren’t worth it. Tony died for you, and all you did in return was ruin everything. You made everything difficult for everyone around you. He deserved to be here instead of you, to be with his family. He had much more to give than you – it wasn’t fair. 

Why did it have to be him? After so long, he had finally found some solace from his past, from his struggles. The anxiety that plagued him had vanished, and he was no longer held back. All he ever wanted…he got just that. And then it was taken away. Because of you. If only he could’ve just moved on, and left you where you belonged. In his memories. 

You wondered what he would say if he saw you now. Would he be disappointed? Would he wish that he’d never done it, or even tried? You knew you could be better, you just couldn’t. There was nothing left within you to try to change. Whatever had broken couldn’t be fixed – pieces were missing, and there was nothing to glue it back together. Maybe this was how you’d always be – destroyed. 

Watching that message just made things worse, really. Your mind had more ammo to throw at you, to break you down further. It just made you more sad. Seeing what could’ve been if the events had played out differently.

“I’m sorry, Dad…” you choked out, quietly, a desperate attempt to ease your guilt. Chest heaving, you sunk back into your pillow, trying to stifle your sorrow.

I’m sorry.

——————————————

The sound of the door bell ringing jolted you awake. Your eyes searched the room, groggily, mind blanking for a moment, until you remembered.

May.Fighting with Peter. Dad’s message. Crying. 

You didn’t know when you fell asleep, or how. You had been crying, and crying, and then boom, you were now awake. Your head pounded, your eyes were dry, and you were sure you probably looked terrible. Grabbing your phone, you saw the time. 9:30. Who the hell would be so desperate to be at your door this early? Then below it, you saw a number of notifications.

MAY - MISSED CALL (4)

MAY: Please pick up

MAY: Did you get home?

And a few more like that. But nothing from Peter. As expected. You didn’t know why you thought anything would’ve changed – in fact, it was probably worse now. Even after all he said, there was still a small part of you that missed him. Just a bit. You missed your best friend, and being able to confide in someone who understood, someone you thought was like you. But after yesterday, it became clear that the two of you were no longer compatible. Time had changed you, and it was time to accept the fact that that chapter of your life was over for good. But there was still some presence of hope within you, as much as you wished there wasn’t.

The bell rang again, and you rolled your eyes, reluctantly crawling out of bed and stumbling down to the front door. For a second, you contemplated not opening the door, but curiosity got the better of you. Without checking, you unlocked the door, swinging it open, and you suddenly wished you had looked before. The stocky man stood in front of you, wearing an unreadable expression, which wasn’t good. You were unsure of what to expect.

You sighed, stepping back to let him in. “If you’re here to lecture me, Happy, I don’t wanna hear it.” 

“Hello to you too.” He walked into the living room, plopping down onto one of the arm chairs. You sat on the couch, laying your head back, preparing for whatever he wanted to say. “May called. She was worried about you, so I came to check on you.”

“What else did she tell you?” You knew that wasn’t the only reason.

Happy’s face contorted slightly into one of discomfort. “She, uh, told me you and Peter had a…disagreement, of sorts.”

You snorted. “Yeah, disagreement, sure. Come on, Happy, I know she told you I punched him. Stop beating around the bush and say what you really came here to.”

He paused, sitting up to look straight at you, and he looked…worried. “Why? What happened between you guys? I thought everything was fine.”

You bit your nail. “I don't know.” Your voice was small, unsteady. “I don’t know why, but things have changed, okay? And I was just so angry yesterday and got ahead of myself. But I’m not sorry I did it. I’m glad I got it out, and I’m glad I can see clearly now and that I’m not deluding myself into believing in something that’s no longer there.”

“What did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter, Happy. I was just mad that he was right, I guess.”

“Was it about Tony?”

You glanced upwards, narrowing your eyes. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does, Y/N!” His voice echoed slightly, and it surprised you. Happy was never one to raise his voice at you. “Over these past few months, I’ve seen you spiral out of control. Look, I know you’re hurting, but this isn’t what he would want, okay? He did everything to bring you back–”

“I never asked him to do that!” His message came back to mind. For you, Y/N. “I never asked him to bring me back. I would much rather that he be here instead of me. I know he did everything! I know. I just wish that he didn’t. He…he deserves to be here.” Your words sat in the air, expanding the tension present in the room.

Happy looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers, before he got up, moving to sit on the couch next to you. You shifted away. He looked out the window.

“I miss him too.” He whispered, glancing back at you. You couldn’t make eye contact, fearing you’d have another breakdown, and you didn’t want him to have to witness that. “You don’t have to tell me what happened between the two of you. But I’ll be here if you want to. I’m not gonna say I understand – I don’t, but I know you and Peter. You’ll work it out eventually, I’m sure.”

If only he knew how wrong he was. He didn’t know what had happened the past few months, or what had happened yesterday. He didn’t know how numb you had become, how you gave up on that relationship. But you didn’t have the heart to tell him. You just nodded your head a bit, before picking at your nails. Happy patted your shoulder, before getting up. 

“I have to do some things, but call me if you need anything.”

Yeah, right. 

And with that, he shut the door behind him, leaving you alone in the silent house, only your mind for comfort. You shook your head, heading to the bathroom to splash your face with cold water. It brought some energy into you. You were exhausted, even after having slept for almost 10 hours. It was the most you had slept all month, but you still felt more tired than usual. It was just something you’d have to get used to.

Leaving the bathroom, you made your way to the stairs to go back to bed, but stopped. A door caught your eye, one that you never dared to open before. The basement, where Tony’s lab lay. You’d never gone down there – the lab you had gone to was in Stark Tower, your home before the blip. But he had downsized. And you never had the courage to venture down there, afraid of what you’d find. Pepper never went down there, either – she couldn’t face it. But you felt it was time – what was one more thing? You’d already confronted much more in the past 24 hours than you had in the past few months. 

It took some pulling, but the door eventually creaked open, and you placed one foot on the stairs, trying to will yourself down them. One foot in front of the other, until you reached the end. It was dark, and you felt around for the switch, but the room already lit up, sensing your presence. It wasn’t too large – just an adequate size, one that satisfied your dad’s needs. And there wasn’t much in it, either. A few unfinished works lay scattered amongst the tables, a couple of computers and tech, but that was pretty much it. It was strange – you were used to the extravagance, but it seemed Tony had given it up. Shelves full of tools and boxes lined the walls, many of them dusty and some unopened, which was expected considering that he said himself he hadn’t even used it for years. 

You walked through the room, admiring the last remnants of your father, reminiscing. So many hours you had spent with him developing new technologies, or working on his suit, or just something. You’d do anything to get those moments back, to get new ones. When was the last time you’d gone into a lab? You couldn’t even remember. The time since the blip felt like years, days going by slower than ever before.

Your thoughts were interrupted when you noticed something…strange. Behind one of the shelves, there was a small uneven patch in the wall, like a button, almost unrecognizable, but you had seen something like it back in the old lab. Tony used them to hide things, usually something he didn’t want to fall into the wrong hands. But why would one be here, in your basement? What did he have that he had to keep locked behind a wall? You assumed it was probably just something he didn’t want Morgan to stumble upon by accident, but you still wanted to make sure. Without a second thought, you reached out and pressed the button, and for a moment, nothing happened, and you began to think it was just a mishap during building.

Then the wall in front of you opened, revealing a small room lined with…more boxes. There was no mystery here. Just extra storage. Great. You shouldn’t have expected anything else, really. Tony really had given it all up. Still, you walked into the room, rummaging through some of the boxes, looking for anything familiar. It was all just mostly tools, some half-made inventions that were scrapped, things like that. While searching, your foot accidentally knocked over one of the boxes on the floor, spewing its contents everywhere. You groaned, kneeling down to clean up the mess in case Pepper really did come down there, not wanting to make her any more angry. 

But as you put the things back in the box, one item stuck out. It didn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the box's contents, which were all mostly scraps. This item seemed off. It was a small, sealed glass container, which was already strange by itself. There was no opening. And the weirdest part was that inside, there was some kind of black…liquid? But it didn’t seem all too fluid, more slime like, really. 

Maybe it's a chemical? But why would it just be in some box? And what chemical looks like this? It didn’t add up – your dad was more into tech than chemistry. You picked up the object, examining it, trying to decipher what it was to avail. You were stumped. But if you didn’t know, there was someone who could. Walking out of the room, you ventured into the main area, sitting down at one of the computers, tapping a few buttons, until it spoke.

“Good morning, Miss Stark. How may I assist you?” The robotic voice spoke, booming into the lab. 

“Friday, can you tell me what this is?” You held it to the scanner, allowing the computer to process it.

“I am sorry, but I am not quite sure what it is. It is hard to tell through its encasing. I haven’t seen anything like it.”

Huh.

-

taglist: @elianamarie-blog @shirp-collector-of-fixations @heartsforgr4ci3

let me know if you want to be tagged!

[emotsper]

Hi!!!!!!!!

You’re like the szai person on tumblr, and even tho I’ve been playing proseka for like two years, I still don’t read a lot of the stories………

So as the certified szai tumblr person, since you kinda own the tag, would you like to explain to me why szai is such a popular ship? I really didn’t read much of anything…

Have fun!!

let me be brief (1/350) (no bc its actually gonna be a long ramble. apolocheese.) (also sorry if formatting is awful im a mobile user and I literally just type whatever)

FOR REAL THOUGH. PLEASE JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND READ MMJ MAINSTORY...... not only its a good source of szai cocaina you get to experience the entire mmj mainstory. i was normal before mmj mainstory and i was less normaler after mmj mainstory.

it simply went even more downhill when i read tenshi no clover. genuinely the one event story that first made me cry (second one was ice drop event but thats a bit biased)

okay now lets get to the main meat of it. szai.

admittedly i was kind of normaler early on but one of my tipping point was Chasing the radiance event especially chapter 7. please read/watch it. please. this specific chapter sent me into my trip of insanity when it comes to szai. it also opened my eye to specific scenes in their side stories/mmj mainsto that i skimmed early on especially bc im a jp only player so fan tls may not be super accurate back then 💔

to start off, airi was a girl that was often made fun of for being tomboyish, and seeing idols for the first time made her feel a glimmer of hope that maybe she can also bring hope to other people. she finally manages to reach her goal and became an idol after several of failed auditions (very deserved especially after her hard work) while shizuku became an idol purely out of luck from the idol grand prix context her friends convinced her to join 😭😭 From the start their relationship feels a little bit doomed with how jealousy is kind of unavoidable from airis side. but against all odds, you get to see airi go to shizuku and cheering her up by giving shizuku her towel and telling her to wipe those tears especially with such a pretty face like hers (MACHINE CLANG CLANG RACK SFX) they are so crazy for this. especially when you realize that shizuku kept the towel until now. (the towel is her area upgrade item)

from this point, airi thought nothing much of shizuku yet other than her being her new rival (and that shes rly pretty) but shizuku sees airi as her main reason to keep going in this idol stuff at that time, and that was enough.

(okay purely for this next part im forgetting a bit so do remember it may not be fully accurate 🙏)

after training minori for awhile, szai went thru a mini divorce arc where airi was telling minori that being an idol isnt all fun and games and that minori should consider quitting, continuing on with how she flopped in the industry bc she was more popular as a reality show figure. but shizuku disagreed and kept saying how airi was an idol through and through and that she shouldn't have quit, but that just tipped airi off and she shouted at shizuku, unloading all her pent up jealousy that she had for awhile now. iconic as hell scene in the most angsty way possible.

u can easily tell this wasn't received well by shizuku. at all. airi you done fucked up. shizuku left her idol group the next day.

(addendum i forgot to add. shizuku truly believed that airi was the first and if not, the only person who sees shizuku as shizuku hinomori herself, without all the idol filter that people plastered on her. so when airi admitted that she was jealous w shizuku getting everything good in the industry, that basically broke shizuku. (color of myself is a nice one to read when it comes to this 🙏 also the i am we are event is a crazy good conclusion to shizukus current arc))

at this point airi realizes just how much shizuku was influenced by her past actions without her fully knowing about it. girl you done fucked up.

this scene is still one of the biggest and strongest kryptonite for szai fans. especially with what happens after.

after confronting shizuku about her choice knowing full well its airis fault, airi, angry at herself, goes immediately to cheerful*days training place (she knows the place since theyve kinda shared the spot iirc) while the rest of mmj follows. she started threatening arisa and almost threw punches but she held back and told the rest of cheerful*days that shizuku is more of an idol than everyone in the room (i may be hallucinating this one. do lmk)

they finally leave the place, and both apologies to each other. at the same time, they both admitted that they were each others idol

and then shizuku goes to tackle hug airi. what the queer

that only concludes the mainstory section btw. upon realizing it may be too much of a recap instead of actual explanation ill be brief w the rest of it (keep in mind i dont read EVERY szai story, just ones i was made aware of bc im playing on jp and story content is a bit harder to see/consume)

Main szai crazies for szai fans

1. chasing the radiance ch7. airi yet talks again about how shizukus hands are slender and elegant while hers are short and chubby (she compared her hands to a manju) and shizuku was mad at her about this and went on a long tangent about how airis gentle hands were the ones who pushes minori and shizuku forward when they think they couldn't.

this is probably the fifth time ive read this story and it still gets me. i hate these fruitsssss. please read the full chapter ive linked it near the start this chapter is so special to me.

2. my ideal idol (airi 5, jp only event for now)

Bro i Dont Even Know What Else To Say. Just Look At This Card

but if we're being serious . lets talk about this one specific card and the story shall we.

this card was a blast to the past; pre-mmj szai again.

we start off with present mmj getting ready for their turn in the joint performance with a new junior idol group that they were paired with. airi was a bit nervous and shizuku noticed it. so she offered to do something that would hopefully lessen the nervousness for both of them. shizuku softly puts her head on airis back and whispered several word of encouragements. shizuku reminisces to the past.

pre-mmj szai. shizuku was very nervous as she was waiting for her first performance ever as an idol. airi was also there, and it was going to be her first too. airi shows up to say hi to shizuku but she noticed that shizuku was really nervous and at the verge of crying. airi knew she had to do something and told shizuku to turn around, shizuku did. shizuku lets out a little surprised yelp as she feels airis hands and head pressing against her back. she could hear airi muttering some encouragement but we never get to hear what the words were, only that shizuku thought about how warm airis hands were. (i need to be euthanized)

back to the present, shizuku says that she hopes that this gesture can somehow "repay" for what airi did to her back then. i think im losing it. sorry

OKAY IM DONE IM DONE ITS ALMOST 1 AM MY BRAIN IS NOT GOING TO WORK ANYMORE IF I KEEP TYPING..... my brain can handle so little. anyways i hope this wall of text ramble can convince u to read mmj mainsto and consume more mmj stories........ i admit its not perfect or whatsoever bc i haven't read the mmj mainstory for awhile and i have a wee memory issue thats paired with my deafness so. yeah. enjoy. haha.

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 57 Cope Posting

Not like this, dear void... not like this. The blessing/curse of Kagurabachi chapters ending in 7 being absolute banger cliffhangers continues and there is not enough copium in the world to get me through to next week. This entry is an absolute mess...

Let's start with practicing on the editor's comments again. Sorry if the colours are hard to read on brighter backgrounds, I live in Dark Mode as much as possible.

First page: ハクリが飛宗の転送に成功! そして- [Hakuri ga Tobimune no tensou ni seikou! Soshite-, Hakuri successfully transfers Tobimune! And then-] Last page: 座村, 漆羽… 事態は混沌へ… [Samura, Uruha... jitai ha konton he..., Samura, Uruha... the situation turns chaotic...] noting that the word used for "situation", jitai (事態), specifically has negative connotations (as opposed to 状況 [joukyou], which is neutral).

These comments are rarely more than fluff just to give the editors some presence in the work itself, so I don't take them as definite indicators of anything going on in the plot. But man. Man. "Bad situation" seems to be putting it lightly. I was ready to take you off the list of possible traitors, Samura! I was seriously going to do it! Whyyyyyyyyyyy

Chihiro and the Pink Menace

Fine, first up... school?

How does our cast stack up to the average student after getting home schooled in murder and cool action poses?

It was obvious to everyone that this arc would involve Chihiro learning about the unpleasant sides of his dad's legacy. So this is just a "hey don't forget" moment for us that also highlights how far removed Hiruhiko and Chihiro are from regular society. Those two (and Hakuri) should be in their last year of high school, complaining about homework or stressing about their future college/job plans right now instead of fighting to the death. Poor guys.

I don't want to presume too much about Hokazono-sensei's views, but I really like directly acknowledging that winners write history and so their wartime cruelty is often downplayed or re-framed as heroism. These kids and even Chihiro only know the revised version of what happened, not the truth of the matter.

Home schooled Chihiro confirmed! Kinda!

Anyway, some more John Plan Reveal. He wants Chihiro to learn the truth about his father's legacy and the impact it's had- that's why he hasn't been "harvested" yet. This implies that there's some terrible thing that could upend Chihiro's entire worldview to be learned. But we kind of already knew that based on everything I just said.

I hope this isn't a flag for John trying to convince Chihiro to join him. There are awful secrets that are going to be unearthed about Kunishige and the Kamunabi this arc for sure, but it's kind of a waste of our time to do the "oooh it was worse than you thought why don't you join us to set things right" rigamarole.

Obviously the Hishaku have some compelling reasons to do all this if they can get someone as loath to kill as Samura on their side to murk his war buddies. It's just never gonna convince Chihiro so I hope we don't get a moralizing yapfest to accompany John's outstretched hand. I trust the writing though! So far it's been almost nothing but excellence so... chill, me. Just wait and see.

I think that no matter what happens Chihiro will continue to forge his own path with allies who care for him at his side. He won't choose the government's path, or the Hishaku's, or even his dad's- he'll create something new. Standard stuff for a shounen series but I never get tired of seeing it!

Before moving on to the coping session, there's something neat in this scene that I want to ramble about:

Local yapper yaps while the guy listening to him literally overthinks

I'll use the JP version if I have to, but I like how Chihiro's inner monologue deliberately overruns Hiruhiko's speech bubble to show that he's not paying full attention while his thoughts are in overdrive. He's still partially listening but he's not quite as composed as he appears to be on the outside, which is confirmed by the close-up zoom into his stressed look with the sweat drops. Yet when we zoom out, he seems a bit more put-together like usual. He's still exhausted from yesterday, man! Really should have rested up... at least the author acknowledges it. (Forced bed rest soon? Hopefully?)

This is how Hiruhiko was able to get the drop on Chihiro. Chihiro's got a lot on his mind and he has trouble focusing, just like Uruha chided him for on the train. His resolve is unshaken but he's still prone to wavering in the moment as he tries to process things. He even misses the fist time Samura's name was mentioned! Clearly Chihiro needs Hakuri or Uruha or someone there to yell encouragement at the right time to stop him from getting lost in his own head. But he's got a lot to think about and work through right now, so it's understandable why he's so stressed out.

Poor Chihiro. He's coming to the conclusions that we, the readers privileged with having weeks IRL to ponder new information, came to long ago. The Master is not treated like a hero but a prisoner, and probably for very, very good reasons. Ones good enough to convince Samura to make a deal with the devil.

What Actually Happened?!

Not all the blades have themes from nature, it seems. Geisha offered many different types of entertainment to guests, from performing music to conversation to serving sake. So now we have the idea behind the name [Swaying Sake]!

First up to delay just a little longer: Kumeyuri power reveal! Seems to be based in some kind of performing arts aesthetic with the geisha that were conjured. Fitting for the guy who wears kabuki eye make-up right? ...And for the next bearer, who interrupted a kabuki performance to pick it up in a theater... I see you and your foreshadowing, Hokazono-sensei.

Fine. I'll admit it. The ending of the chapter makes it crystal clear that Hiruhiko is the new bearer contracted to Kumeyuri by having his origami butterflies come undone as he grasps the hilt in his teeth. Can't even hope it's another case of someone "borrowing" power like Kyora did with the Shinuchi of the bunch.

Magatsumi's the only blade that can be used by someone not contracted to it, hence the extra protections it needed.

So that means... yeah. Uruha's gone. Just like that.

There will be thousands of theories about what exactly happened to Uruha, why Samura made a deal with John, what the details of that deal were- we'll get the truth soon. I'm most interested in the reasoning that ties into Samura's sincere beliefs of killing being an evil act.

The burden of death weighs so heavily on him that he blinded himself in penance. But he's willing to let his own apprentice die -probably even kill him himself!- because of... what? What was so horrible about fighting with the Master and Kunishige's weapons for the good of the nation? What compelled him to help the Hishaku kill the remaining bearers and upend the peace they earned?!

Hey, Samura. Is it really so bad to be called a war hero while being treated like a prisoner in a comfortable government-provided jail facility? Is it so horrible that "alternative facts" pass for real history to bury whatever horrors you witnessed and possibly perpetrated? Is it truly awful to have people willing to die for you despite all the grave sins you've committed? That they're likely completely unaware of thanks to government propaganda and being too young to have witnessed the truth?

...I need those Seitei War flashbacks pronto.

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Wait a minute. Jail? Even the friggin' onsen?

Yup! The Master's the only one being treated like a dangerous criminal outright, but the 慚箱 [sanso] are just dressed up prisons for the Bearers. The Kamunabi ain't even subtle about it.

慚 [san] - to feel shame 箱 [sou] - box

The government put these guys in specially-constructed (or repurposed) buildings officially referred to as "shame boxes" and told them they couldn't leave. Even the name given to one of them is a bit much! 国獄温泉 [Kokugoku Onsen] translates to:

国 [koku]- country/state/national government 獄 [goku]- jail/prison 温泉 [onsen] - hot spring

Gee, I wonder if Uruha was having a good time at State Prison Hot Springs?

That said, while there may well be some bitterness between the Bearers and the Kamunabi, it's not the main motivating factor for Samura. His is definitely rooted in how they all acted during the war and how guilty he feels now that they're promoted as heroes.

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

It looks like Chihiro's being summoned by Hakuri in the very last panel so we might get some perspective on Samura's reasoning next week. Probably no clear answers right away, but at least enough to see if he really was the one who killed Uruha and a bit of insight into why. And to see if Uruha's dead at all... I mean, if we don't see a body... let me be delusional, okay?!

I'm just not able to go all-in on believing Uruha's dead. But it's not because I don't think he actually is... it just doesn't feel real after spending weeks preparing to let go of Samura. Not to mention the tried-and-true tactic of baiting out strong emotions with implied character deaths.

Normally I don't take death foreshadowing like this too seriously in shounen series. I just wait to see if the author is faking me out or not before getting stressed (unless it's Hakuri, in which case I stress responsibly). But Kagurabachi is a series that lured the MC with a child's severed leg and showed two suicide attempts on-screen, one of which was horrifically successful- right in front of someone who was already traumatized too. Hell we lost most of the anti-Kuregumo squad without much fanfare back in the Sojo arc! Only actually showing a child being tortured on-screen is too much, apparently. This series is dark as hell when the author wants it to be and Uruha's death is probably another one of those times.

There's hope in me that Uruha can still come out of this alive just because I like him so much, but I want the author to follow through on his death when it's presented as such an ominously real scenario. All signs point to Uruha being a goner, so don't make it look iron-clad then say "nah" the next chapter with some technicality that we couldn't have known about until the reveal. I would rather lose Uruha in an unexpectedly painful way than be faked out just to get the reaction out of me, y'know? Don't toy with me. Commit to crushing my heart, dammit.

But, God... oh man. I fell for the bait and got stupidly attached to a Bearer in the arc named after killing them. I even knew bad times were coming because of all the levity at the start of the arc but still went on hoping nothing would happen so soon. Laugh at me, I deserve it. I probably helped this manifest by mentioning how awful it would be if Chihiro found out a Bearer died because Hiruhiko was able to contract with one of the blades. Saying "I crave the angst that will come from this situation with every fiber of my being" in a post tag was overkill. It's just:

Author: names the arc after assassinating the bearers

Reader: gets attached anyway

Author: assassinates a bearer

Reader: ╚(•⌂•)╝

Coping Theory

May as well put my two cents in on how it could have gone down while I'm here...

I wonder if he planned to die in the raid instead so it looked like an unavoidable accident, sparing everyone else from the carnage.

This exact sequence- the Makizumi talking about honor in death for saving Samura, and Uruha's words that the Bearer's lives need to be valued above others'- is what solidifies Samura's resolve. This man is filled to the brim with guilt and self-loathing (much like another swordsman we know). He cannot save himself, but... perhaps he can take some equally bad sinners down with him for the greater good. He's not only a mirror for Hakuri, but Chihiro as well- one's resolve to save no matter the cost to one's self, and one's resolve to go to hell for what they believe is right. That's how I'm reading this until we get his own insight on the matter, at least.

It's not a stretch to infer that Samura thinks the Bearers are better off dead in large part due to the powers they command and things that were done during the war. That's still a huge mystery to be unraveled but I mean:

Seeing the bare minimum of Magatsumi in action really drives home how horrific these "heroes" could seem out on the battle field doesn't it? No wonder the clone sorcerer described the Seitei war as "hell on earth". But the public has no knowledge of this. They only got the sanitized version fit for PR purposes and feel-good stories.

The Hishaku seem to be intent on dismantling this image. Perhaps that's how they got Samura on their side? Not sure how the current Bearers dying and giving the Hishaku access to that dreadful power is better than the status quo, but that's something that will become clear with more reveals about the ideology driving the group. Maybe Samura doesn't care so much about the rest of the world and just wants to do what's best for the truth that's been buried under nearly two decade's worth of secrecy.

As to what happened with Uruha... two things come to mind. One I think is more likely, and one I want to cling to until it's ripped away as I sob and beg for just one little bit of comfort.

Most likely, I think Samura and Uruha had an exchange about ideals and the value of their lives. Samura overpowered Uruha per the plan as the "trump card" and that was that.

In delulu land, I want Samura to have been double-crossed. As in he made a deal on the condition that the lives of the people he cared about would be spared, but of course Uruha couldn't be allowed to live. So the Hishaku ensured that he'd die there no matter what. It's a bunk theory since Mr. Hatshaku left once the situation turned against him... maybe incorporate some of the datenseki mind control stuff in there somehow? I don't know. Just let me have this until canon proves otherwise.

Hakuri and Chihiro, Though?! And Miscellaneous Questions

(Ch. 46) I'm not going to be okay for a while and neither are they.

Best boys are really gonna go through it no matter what Chihiro is summoned back to. They'll be in a rough way... not only did they lose Uruha and hand Kumeyuri to Hiruhiko, but Samura betrayed them all... oof. So much for proving themselves to the Kamunabi. They're going to get an earful and be set back in the "negotiations" big time.

No doubt Chihiro will put this burden on his shoulders too, even if no one could have predicted Samura's defection to the enemy. It's his dad's legacy that's causing all this strife right now. He'll be more motivated than ever to unravel the war's true history and I'll be right there with him hoping he doesn't push himself too hard or harshly. The son shouldn't be responsible for the sins his father committed before he was even born. But that's just like, my opinion, man.

Meanwhile...

"I'm still good for it," wheezes the guy with blood gushing out of his nose at an alarming rate.

Hakuri will probably blame himself too. Depending on how things shake out, it could be for anything from accidentally arming a traitor to seeing someone die in front of him again. There's a good chance he'll (temporarily) lose the thing that makes him useful too, so that'll be an extra layer of angst for him to deal with. What value does a broken tool that couldn't fulfill it's one purpose have?

I also wonder what prompted Hakuri to summon Chihiro away from Hiruhiko. He's kind of in rough shape to do it just 'cause he misses his (boy)friend. They have cell phones to communicate with so it seems a bit abrupt to summon him back without checking first. Hakuri's also not the type to impose on someone to protect him. Nor is he the type to drop Chihiro into the middle of a life-or-death situation without a sense of mutual understanding first. So there had to be some kind of pressing need. The timeline of events means he's summoning Chihiro right after Uruha was killed, so... more soulmate stuff maybe? Their souls call out to each other and resonate when they're in distress, after all (it's canon baybeeeeee). They're in perfect harmony and all that. Sorry for the shipping nonsense I just need any bit of fluff I can get right now.

So many questions that might not get answered...

What about the Makizumi? Will they defect to serve Samura? Or will they try to help get Hakuri to safety with the Kamunabi? Samura doesn't want to kill them at all so no matter what happens they'll live at least. Hooray an elite squad that didn't bite the dust... (I think they will choose Samura because of everything he did for them).

How did Hiruhiko know when Kumeyuri was usable anyway?! Was it some signal from his mystery supporter that was lurking outside the window? And who was that- did Worst Jeanist show up?

Samura's loath to kill innocents, but does Hakuri count as one? Would losing his sorcery be enough to count him as neutralized for the Hishaku's purposes? Was exhausting Hakuri the main reason why Hiruhiko sent all the forces to the temple in the first place?

Hiruhiko wasn't surprised to see Tobimune disappear, so the Hishaku probably know about Hakuri's power. Their mole within the Kamunabi should get a bonus for the turnaround time on learning that bit of info and sending it on. Unless John's playing 5D chess and knew about Hakuri's awakening and team-up with Chihiro before they even met the Kamunabi anyway... perhaps even orchestrated it too... that would definitely need a very good explanation.

Alright. Okay. Let's wait on tenterhooks together, dear void. No waterworks until they show the body, got it?

[sob]

[starkissedbaby]

Girl in New York | 6

pairings - art donaldson/reader | challengers au!

”__"= Y/N

masterslist | next chapter | last chapter

sypnosis - you overhear Art’s friends talking shit about you.

warnings - angst, none

author s note - hope you guys enjoy, i have two more chapters planned after this. let me know how ya’ll feel about this story so far!

word count - 2k

© elliotsblunt 2024. do not repost, modify, or translate.

You snatched Art’s sucker from his mouth. It was warm on your tongue, earning a look of pure irritation. “It tastes sweeter when it’s yours.”

Apparently he was a super genius at math, so Art offered to help you tutor for your upcoming math final. Although you denied his assistance, he initiated, and you couldn’t turn down spending more time with him. It was peculiar. Around him, you were able to act like your true self. A tiny part of you hoped he felt the same.

Birds chirped above as the wind gently blew his hair away from his blue hues. The cherry flavor slowly dissolved into your tongue, Art snatching the lollipop back from you and popping it back into his mouth. A giggle left your lips, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he chuckled.

He was sat on the bench, whilst your bum was placed on the table. Art looked up at you before taking the sucker out and sipping his coffee. “You should put your hair up more often.”

Your cheeks grew hot, “I look like an egg with my hair up.”

“I kinda see it, actually.”

“Stop,” you snatch his pop, sticking it back into your mouth. His smile twitched at your action, but then grew.

“Your parents are sweet.”

“My dad thinks you’re a good looking dude—and my mom won’t stop talking about how cute your girlfriend is,” Art studied you as you continued to speak, sitting up from the table and standing onto your feet.

“She even said ‘you should be more like her __’. Less revealing and more polite.”

“It’s an act. As soon as we’re alone, she gets high on coke and complains about every single person she meets. She said you were a lousy slut that count through a straight shot—and something else..”

Strikes of irritation hit you. “Art….what the fuck?”

“You flirt with me right in front of her, _ _. I can’t blame her for not exactly liking you.”

You scoff, “So what? I’m a lousy slut? I thought you said I was yours?”

You made sure to emphasize the last few words in a mocking tone, causing Art to grind his jaw. He stood up as well. “Chill, _ _. You know people say shit when they’re…”

Right. It was meaningless sex talk.

It never mattered to you. What anyone said or thought about you. But when it came to Art—maybe it did. You both had an understanding. He wasn’t supposed to judge you. You weren’t a saint, but agreeing with her calling you a lousy slut ticked you off. He acted as if it didn’t take two to tango. Perhaps this whole infatuation you had for him was one sided. Now you weren’t saying you liked him, but maybe…..

……maybe you were interested.

“So you wouldn’t care if I slept with other guys?”

Something shifted in the air. Art was far away. Physically, he was standing right in front of you. A foot away from one another. But emotionally, he was miles out. You stared at him, still holding the sucker in your hand. For some reason you were clutching it.

He wasn’t looking at you, keeping his eyes on the ground. The leaves were brittle and broken due to the season—pavement cracked from constantly being walked on for years. Kids giggled in the background, contrasting to the dim atmosphere that was created between the both of you.

“Art?”

“I heard you. And no, I wouldn’t.”

You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t stop your lips from moving. Usually when you grew angry, you brain vomitted. “Cool. I’m actually thinking about hooking up with this one dude.” 

Art pressed his lips together, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Wear protection. Wouldn’t want you to catch anything.”

“You think so highly of me, Art. Who’s to say I haven’t been fucking some dude already?”

His eyes darkened. He then shrugged his shoulders.

“In that case, how about we tag team you? Show you how we treat real bitches.” His tone was frustrated and rough. He had never used it before.

You tossed the sucker onto the ground, stepping on it before sending him a nasty look. Art clenched his jaw as he watched you turn around and storm off.

hey. its _ _.

i can’t make it to practice this week.

Art responded almost immediately.

That’s fine.

After that, a couple days passed without anything eventful happening. You focused on your final exams, and ended up doing pretty well on the math one. Art helping you out seemed to make a major impact on your grade. As for the rest of your classes, you managed to pass. Your parents were pleased so that’s what mattered.

On a random Tuesday, one of your classmates—Gen, asked to grab boba with you. Your favorite shop was down the street, so you offered to meet her. You decided to walk, strolling through the busy streets of your neighborhood. Ice began to freeze over the poles, snow beginning to fall during the night and reach up to being a foot tall. But you absolutely adored it. In any situation, you’d rather be too cold than hot.

Hands stuffed into the pockets of your black leather jacket, you texted Gen that you arrived. She said that she was going to be a half hour late because of traffic. You replied that it was no worries and you’ll order your drinks beforehand since it was pretty packed.

As you stepped into line, you earned a few stares so you decided to go onto your phone. But then you heard a familiar voice a few spaces ahead of you. “She practically throws herself at Art. I think it would be the best choice if he just canceled their lessons and booted her trashy ass to the curb.”

You froze in place. Tiffany….was talking about you…to who?

At your favorite fucking boba shop.

And the things she was saying….

Who the fuck did she think she is?

An unfamiliar male voice sounded. “Sounds like fatherless behavior. He’s probably an immigrant running a hotel or something.”

Your blood ran cold. Fists balling at your sides, you tried your best to keep calm. Whenever someone had thrown a nasty curse or two at you, it was whatever. You didn’t really care about yourself, nor what others thought about you. But when it came to your family, war was always an option. And seeing as Tiffany seemed to ‘ love ‘ your parents, showed how right Art had been.

She was fake.

“Could explain the way she acts. I mean—you should’ve seen what her mother wear wearing. It looked like she shopped at the McDonald’s down the stre—“

Your patience had snapped.

Stepping out of line, your heart beat thudded in your ears as your chest raced with anger. It all happened so fast. You heard laughter before interrupting their dick fest. “What did you just say?”

You had it in the bag. Confrontation was never a problem for you. Whenever you had something on your mind, nothing could’ve gotten in your way to make sure that person learned not to fuck with you. Whether it was a three hundred pound man built from pure muscle, or a 6 foot 3 famous basketball player. If they pissed you off, they were in for it.

So you opened your mouth, ready to curse Tiffany Barbie Bitch out. Some dude with ginger hair and beady little green eyes looked at you with a surprised look, but you didn’t pay him any mind. The blonde haired girl widened her eyes, a crimson blush covering her cheeks. “_ _. Um, hey.”

Even though that cunt had been the one to initially piss you off, that wasn’t the icing on the cake.

No.

What rubbed salt into the would was the fact that Art was also standing right there, looking as if he’d seen a ghost.

It was as if time had frozen. His eyes bored into yours, fists shaking at his sides as the flesh turned white from the brutal grip. Art’s face flushed.

You froze.

It was as if the lump in your throat grew with every second. Your palms were soaked with sweat. Everything began to hit you all at once. You’re family were laughing stock to his friends. You knew Art was incredibly talented and maintained a better lifestyle than you…and was more fortunate—but you told him your family situation that in confidence.

He wasn’t your friend. He was your fuck buddy. Well, was. The only thing he was after this was dead to you.

Art didn’t give a flying fuck about you.

“Your parents are sweet.”

Fucking dick that can’t last ten seconds.

“Least you got to hear the truth,” Tiffany shrugged her shoulders, earning a snicker from the random ginger beside Art.

You narrowed your eyes. The nerve she had on her. If you hadn’t been fucking her boyfriend—you would’ve broke her crooked nose.

You looked at Art. His eyes were trained on the ground, body stiff as a statue.

He didn’t say anything.

So you left.

Fuck Art Donaldson.

He was fucking dead to you.

You ended up re-scheduling with your classmate. A week had passed without a call or text from Art. You had already smoked five packs of cigarettes in that time frame. This sudden funk you got into wasn’t because of anyone, including the golden haired boy that suddenly infiltrated your mind. Your conquests didn’t affect your personal life. It was probably because you had nothing to do now since it was Spring Break.

An old friend that you used to take tennis classes with had reached out to you. She was playing for a highly exclusive tournament that apparently costs like two-hundred per ticket—but offered two free tickets. In case you wanted to bring a plus one. And only one person seemed to pop into your mind.

When the date came, which was two days later, anxiety pooled within your belly as you you drove into the parking lot. Your plus one had told you beforehand that they were going to meet you in there. Teeth chewing on your lower lip, you hopped out the car and made your way towards the large stadium. It was a large grey building with an open surface, check in lines fully stacked back to back.

A certain sign said V. I. P in bold letters. Usually, if you came with a free ticket—it classified as a special pass. So instead of having to wait in this long ass line,you decided to go up to the door. A security guard with shades on and a brown polo shirt steps before you. “Players only.”

Your brows raise. “It says V.I.P.”

“Exactly.”

“Look, I’m not playing, but I know—“

His voice cuts you off again, with a dismissing tone to it. “Players only.”

Your eyes widen at his lack of empathy or common manners. “Listen here, buddy. Why don’t I play your gigantic as—“

“She’s with me.”

You froze in your tracks, heart knocking against your ribs like a caged bird. Dread washes over you as you refuse to turn around.

The guard lowers his sunglasses, stepping towards the source of the voice behind you. Gulping, your eyes flee to Art, who faced the security card with a calm expression. He had looked as handsome as he ever did, black hoodie thrown over his head and a pair of grey sweaters hanging loosely off his sculpted figure.

“You playing tonight?”

“Yeah.”

Your eyes widen. Art was playing tonight? You didn’t know that.

Big dude stepped aside, but not before lowering his shades once again and sending Art a rugged thin eyed look. The blonde walked past him without sparing a glance, unlike you, who flipped off the security guy. “Yeah—you better let me in. Who wears shades inside—?”

Art grabbed you by the arm, dragging you inside the hall the door lead to. It was vacant, most likely everyone in their own rooms. Your eyes narrowed at him as he shushed you with brows facing downwards.

“Don’t shush me fuckface,” you spat out, feeling a wave of pure irritation roll through you. Art pressed his lips together as you brain vomited all over him. “You’re fucking fake. The worst idea I ever made was letting you put that Gingivitis dick inside me.”

His eyes blinked in anger, yet disbelief at your words. You tore your arm from his grip, ignoring the way his baby blue eyes drew you in.

“You gonna say anything?”

His fists were balled again. The sound of his raspy breathing was the only noise in the otherwise death-silent room. A gnawing feeling radiated from your guts as Art cast his eyes to the ground.

For the first time, as you looked at him, something in your heart twitched. He had looked better than ever, skin glowing and not a wrinkle in sight on his perfectly sculpted face. It confused you, since you had lost sleep these past few days. Perhaps your insights were correct.

Perhaps Art hadn’t thought about you at all. Except for when he needs a good laugh. His lack of words made your skin crawl before he releases a small breath.

A monotone I’m sorry leaves those lips that you’ve kissed only a few times.

That’s all.

And then silence filled the space between the both of you. It was the true answer you needed. You weren’t sure why he had even helped you get in. You wish you never saw him again, but that would be unlikely for today. The disrespect he exhibited had thrown you into a messy loop of making excuses. But today it had been ended.

When you turned around, his eyes lifted off the floor.

You darted a menacing glance over your shoulder, locking eyes with him once last time. Those orbs were cloudy. His chest heavily rose and fell as you threw him a sad smile. “Me too.”

And then you turned around, never looking back.

[pyre-of-pages]

My first WIP Wednesday!

Thanks so much @skyrim-forever for my first ever fandom tag for this! I was hoping I'd be included soon! I don't know enough people to tag. Maybe next time!

Work and culinary school has not let me rest for legit two weeks -- it's been two full-time jobs that I've been struggling to keep afloat. So Part 2 of "Shallow Roots in Eroding Soil" has been on the back burner for way, way longer than I wanted.

But I wanna get it right. Chapter 1 was written more in a distant tone of voice, mostly because I didn't want to write out several long immersive scenes. I kinda sorta regret it now, but Part 2 is the first bit of writing that delves deep into the immersive action -- which is how I prefer to write my stories.

Anyway, here's the opening of the next/last chapter. Shit is about to get dark:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Elur heard the knock at the door, she did exactly what her mother had told her to do. She grabbed a knife.  It was late afternoon – too early for her mother to return. Besides, her mother had the only house key; there would be no reason for her to knock. Although the handle of a blade was an unsure fit in her hand, Elur had been taught to slash the palms of any unwanted guests should they attempt to grab her. With the weapon hidden behind her hip, the teenaged elf unlatched the door and opened it enough to peek through. A tendril of cold air reached through the crack and chilled her face, smarting the still-raw skin of her Clanmarking. “Yes?” Elur asked, blinking against the sudden gust of winter air. “Are you the only Wood Elf that lives here?” the man at the door asked without introduction. The emblem of a yellow stag on his chainmail marked him as a member of the Bravil Town Guard. “No?” Elur opened the door further with a slow glide. She’d been told to never be visibly armed in front of a member of the Guard, so she slipped the knife behind her back to her opposite hand and then onto a nearby shelf behind the door. “Can you describe your household members, please?” the guard continued in a casual, almost emotionless, tone. Elur furrowed her brow. “Must I?” The guard’s expression didn’t change. “Describe your household members.”  “It’s . . . just my mother and I, sir.” The lines around the guard’s mouth creased. “Is your mother at home with you?” Elur shook her head. The cold crept past her legs like a housecat, slipping through the small opening in the door while dragging an icy tail over her shins. “Um . . . she’s out hunting.”  The guard unfolded a page of parchment, looked it over for a moment and refolded it. “Is your mother missing a hand, by chance?” Elur creaked open the door further, uncaring about the heat from the fire getting out – nor the waves of cold getting in. “Her left hand. What is this about?” Without a word, the guard reached into a pocket on his belt and withdrew a piece of worn leather. Taking it revealed to Elur that there was cut stitching around the edges and slightly smudged lettering inked into the hide: “I have a daughter at home. If you are reading this, please retrieve her.” The message was followed by their house address. “I’ve been asked to escort you to Skingrad,” the guard said. “The Guard must speak with you there.” “Skingrad?” Elur asked, wringing the leather in her hands. Her chest thumped. “What is she doing in Skingrad? Oh, gods! Has she been arrested?” The guard cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest, as if trying to look as professional as possible. “There was an incident early this morning, miss. The Guard needs you to identify a body.” Needles pressed into Elur’s skin from the inside out, breaking her whole body into an instant sweat that froze in the winter air. “A . . . a body?” The young Bosmer hugged herself as a subtle tremor began in her shoulders – felt, but unseen. “Whose body?”

[honeywinesims]

Episode 7: Dirty Chai & Whiskey (part 4/5)

CW: Swearing, alcohol abuse

<previous // next>

Table of Contents

Read the full chapter on Simblr.cc

Script

Several hours later... Frida: Um, Emma? People are complaining about the food, and Nick Alto just walked in. He doesn’t look happy. Emma: Shit, I was afraid this was gonna happen. I’m pretty sure Jared is drunk. What the hell is wrong with him? If Nick finds out, that dumbass will lose his job for sure. Emma: We can’t let Jared self-destruct like this, not in front of Nick Alto. Damnit, we almost made it till closing time, too... Frida: Why should I care if Jared loses his job? He’s a grown ass man who should be held accountable for his actions. Besides, it seems to me that working here would be a lot more pleasant without him. Emma: No offense, Frida, but I don’t give a rat’s ass about your little feud with Jared right now. I’m going to go distract Nick. You just get Jared out of here, okay? And hurry!

Thoughts/notes (kinda long, sorry)

I feel torn because, as Frida rightly points out, Jared is a grown man and should face the consequences of his own actions. It’s not others' responsibility to cater to his inability to process his feelings in a healthy way. I'm also acutely aware that in this scene, I've positioned two women in an uncomfortable situation where they feel compelled to participate in emotional labor on behalf of a man who also happens to be their superior at work.

(But also, a patriarchal society often harms men by frequently depriving them of opportunities to learn how to navigate their emotions safely and without shame).

That said, the next chapter will reveal a bit more about why he’s acting out like this... But for now, we’ll have to endure his bullshit a little longer in this chapter. ;) I hope you'll bear with me.

Also, Frida isn’t exactly blameless here; she finds Jared annoying, and that’s enough for her to not care if he loses his job—and consequently his ability to pay for food, rent, etc. It’s unfair of her too. Jared isn’t the only one who needs to experience some personal growth. :)

But, his behavior is really inappropriate, and I want to make it clear that I don't condone it/am not trying to romanticize it or make it seem sexy, etc.

I think Emma will be a good influence on both of them though. She has a much clearer notion of class consciousness than Frida, for example. Frida might be "broke," but she is *choosing* not to accept money from her extremely wealthy family. That's not the same as actually being working class. I don't think Frida fully appreciates the gravity of losing your job when you don't have such a big safety net like she does.

Emma might also think Jared sucks, but she knows him better than Frida, so she knows that he is in rare form tonight, meaning something is really wrong. She also understands that class solidarity extends even to people we might dislike personally.

Thanks for reading my rambles if you made it this far. 😅

[moociaoafterdark]

Okay, Kuzman wasn't supposed to be a perpetual just so that he could survive the slaughter of the Thunder Warriors. I kinda want all of my OCs to survive to 40k, which is exactly where Kuzman's perpetuality comes into play.

Before that I planned him to stay with the Night Lords, turn to Chaos (though not exactly willingly), just to get turned into a daemon when Thunder Warrior Cancer finally caught up to him, which is how he would survive to the 40k era.

However, I already have, like, 3 Chaos Space Marine OCs and I know more are on their way, so I wanted to do something different with Kuzman, since, he deserves better.

As a perpetual, he stays as a loyalist Night Lord and survives the Heresy, though, not without dying a couple of times. When the Heresy is over and his true, forever master now sits on the Golden Throne, Kuzman doesn't know what to do. The Emperor, as mentioned, now can't move from the Throne. He can't talk to anyone anymore, he can't order, can't rule anymore... By all means, he is dead. Just like the Imperium will be, in due time. Is this it? Is this what Kuzman fought so hard for? Is this why he was revamped into the Thunder Warrior? You're telling him it was all for nothing?

Kuzman isn't happy that the Emperor can no longer hunt him down, can no longer hurt him or use him for his own goals. He should feel relief, but instead, he is overcome with despair and dread.

Kuzman goes into self inflicted exile and, essentially, wanders the galaxy for 10000 years, helping out whenever he can, whoever needs his help. Throughout this, he self reflects on his past actions, or more specifically, the atrocities he committed as both a Thunder Warrior and a "Night Lord". Despite saving countless lives, he refuses to be accepted as a hero, even after thousands of years have passed. There's no forgiving and no redemption for him and no matter how much he tries, he will never wash the blood off his hands.

Today he is fighting side by side with the Blood Angels Chapter against a Chaos cult. Tomorrow he will be cooperating with Biel-Tan Craftsworld to fight off the invasion of Orks. And the next day he will be aiding the T'au Empire against the Tyranids, covering for humans and xenos alike. Not because he is trying to redeem himself. It's simply a right thing to do. It's the least he can do now that his life no longer has a set purpose. Might as well make himself useful somehow!

(I did it guys! An unambiguously morally good Warhammer OC! Yay!)

[callsign-magnolia]

Love In The Dark // Ch. 4

Mature Content 18+

Summary: Iris never realized how much she truly depended on her eyesight until it was gone. But it never really stopped her, just another hurdle to jump over in life. Depending on people was never something she got used to, she still attempts to do things herself. Eventually, her roommate and best friend let's her down, but a tall, sandy brown haired aviator catches her.

Rooster x Blind!OC

Warnings: angst, alcohol, deception? I think that's it, if I missed any let me know!

Word Count: 3.5k

Chapter 3 | Masterlist

As the night wore on Iris grew more comfortable with everyone. She just felt bad because Jake was inside away from his own party when he should be enjoying himself. “Hey Bradley?” She asked. He leaned over from his conversation with Bob and smiled at her. “Yeah?” He almost said it in her ear, his breath brushing her neck. Her mind went fuzzy for a second before she remembered she said his name. “I feel bad that Jake’s inside. It is his party.” Bradley smiled, her kindness striking him in a way he’s never felt before. “He’s just upset.” He noticed Iris’ face fall and he quickly spoke up. “Not with you. Jake feels kinda foolish for not seeing through Mandi’s words.” He said and Iris nodded. “I just hate that he’s not having fun with the rest of us.” She said. “Do you want me to go talk to him?” He asked and Iris sat still for a moment. He could tell the gears were turning in her head. “Would it help if I talked to him?” She didn’t seem too keen on the idea. “No, I can do it.” With that he stood, sliding his chair back under the table. “I’ll be right back. Need anything while I’m up?” He asked, leaning down next to her. “No, I’m good. Thank you, though.” She said, turning her head up to look at him. Bradley was startled by her actions, her nose so close to his and she never even knew it. “Then I’ll be back.” With that he walked into the house. Bradley looked around, not seeing Jake so he made his way up the stairs. He crept down the hallway till he got to Jake’s room. 

He peeked his head inside and saw Jake sitting on the edge with his head hung low. “You okay?” He asked and Jake lifted his head. Dismay was written all over his face and it shocked Bradley a little. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine.” He said. “I didn’t ask if you will be. I asked if you are now.” Jake took a deep breath, surprised by how abrupt Bradley was being. “I feel stupid.” Bradley nodded. “I can see why.” Jake glared at him. “She was so convincing, and then I made myself out to be a total ass to Iris.” Bradley chuckled. “Truth be told, I don’t think Iris actually blames you for that.” He said. “Don’t let it eat you up, Hangman.” Bradley said, getting ready to walk back downstairs. “Truth be told, and I can’t believe I’m saying this. You were too good for her anyway.” They both laughed as Bradley headed back downstairs. He made his way out the back door and chuckled to himself. "Coyote." Rooster said, staring at his friend and fighting the urge to chuckle. Iris was having an intense conversation with Phoenix and Bob, and poor Coyote was trying his best to offer her a drink. "Coyote, man. She can't see you. You're gonna have to tap her shoulder." Rooster said, and Coyote looked at him, brows furrowed. "Why?" Iris heard the entire conversation and chuckled to herself before turning around to face them. "Because I'm blind." Rooster laughed at the look of panic on Coyote's face. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't - " Iris just laughed at him, easing the panic in Coyote's chest. “It’s okay Coyote. I haven’t told you yet.” Iris said as she took the drink from him. “So am I the last to know?” He asked and Iris shook her head. “No, I think there’s one more person I haven’t told.” She said, trying to place who it was. “Mav. I don’t think we’ve mentioned it to him. Or Penny.” 

Iris realized that she hadn't actually told Penny, even though she may have figured it out. “I’ll tell them before it’s time to leave.” Iris said. The night went on and they she managed to tell Mav and Penny. “That explains a lot of things from today. But if you’re totally blind, why the sunglasses?” Mav asked. “The sun can still damage my eyes in ways I can’t notice, so I always make sure to wear them. Plus they can keep the skin around my eyes from wrinkling.” They nodded. Iris tried to hold back her yawn but it was no use, no one can really keep a yawn discreet. Rooster couldn’t help but smile at her as she took her sunglasses off and wiped the corner of her eyes. “Do you want to go?” He whispered to her and she couldn’t hold back her smile. “Are you ready to go?” She asked, not wanting to end his night early if he wasn’t ready. “I’m ready if you are.” He said, smiling at her as she turned to him. “Yeah.” He stood, gently taking her outstretched hand and helping her up. “Well we’re gonna go guys.” Bradley announced and everyone turned to face them. “I really enjoyed meeting you all.” Iris said, offering a wave. Phoenix stood and came over, slowly pulling Iris into a hug and she returned it. “We definitely have to get together sometime.” Iris smiled widely and nodded. “I’d love that.” She responded. “You can get my number from Rooster.” She nodded and everyone else came up to say goodbye before they walked into the house, passing Jake in the kitchen on their way out. “Leaving?” He asked, drying a glass. “Yeah.” Rooster said. “Thank you for the invite, Jake. even though the night kinda blew up.” He just gave Iris a tight smile and nodded. “You’re welcome, Iris.” 

Rooster led Iris outside and to his Bronco. “Careful.” He opened the door and helped her hop in. He stood and leaned over her, buckling her seatbelt for her. “I could’ve done that myself.” Iris said, a small smile on her face. “What kind of gentleman would I be if I let you do it yourself though?” She gave a small laugh as he closed her door gently, walking around and getting in on the driver’s side. Bradley backed out of Jake’s driveway, easing down the road. Iris had a wide smile on her face as he went down the road, the wind blowing through the Bronco had her hair whipping around. Maybe it was a good idea he took the roof off. Bradley turned up the radio, a station that plays mostly seventies and eighties and he was caught off guard as Iris started loudly singing. He couldn’t help but admire her for a moment before laughing and joining her. It wasn’t long before the sun went down and Bradley pulled into the driveway. He cut the Bronco off and sighed. “Mandi’s here.” He said and Iris just shrugged. “I don’t care. Everything is irreconcilable at this point. Our friendship has been going down the drain for a while and this was just the icing on the cake.” Bradley pursed his lips and nodded. “Want me to walk you in?” He asked and she flashed him a large tipsy smile. “Would you please?” He just chuckled and nodded. “Yes, I will.” He got out, coming around and helping her out. “Why don’t you come in for a minute? I’ll get you a water.” She smiled at him and he watched as she walked up onto the porch. He wasn’t thirsty in the slightest but he couldn’t say no. “Okay.” 

Iris punched in the code to the front door and stepped in. “Why don’t you have a seat on the couch and I’ll be back in a minute.” She turned and smiled at him and he agreed before closing the front door. As he turned back he saw Iris take a step and suddenly she was gone, a loud thud and a yelp replacing her physical presence. “Iris?!” He rushed over, finding her face down, attempting to push herself off the floor. “Iris.” He bent down next to her and watched as she lifted her hand to her face, blood covering it as she pulled it away. Immediately her body shook as she cried and Bradley could swear his heart split down the middle. “Oh, Iris.” He took her arm in his and attempted to help her off the floor. Thunderous footsteps shook the house as Mandi came down the stairs and started to laugh as she saw Iris. Bradley’s vision went red as he looked from Mandi out to the living room. “I know you know how to navigate the house but I never thought you’d run through here!” She laughed harder. “You rearranged all the furniture, Mandi! That’s a real shitty move.” Iris had calmed and shook herself free of bradley. “I want you OUT OF MY HOUSE!” Mandi jumped as Iris raised her voice. Mandi knew Iris could get angry but she had never been on the receiving end. “I’ll leave when I pack everything.” Bradley watched as Iris seethed. Even in the dark he could see her hands shaking and a vein in her neck standing out. What Bradley never expected was for Iris to lurch forward, reaching up the staircase and grabbing the back of Mandi’s hair. Bradley reached for her but before he could Iris had already pulled Mandi’s head back and punched her in the temple before letting go. Mandi stumbled back into the wall as Rooster gently laid his hands on Iris’ shoulders, her own hand reaching for his. “What the fuck?!” Mandi yelled, leaning against the wall to keep her balance.

“Get your shit and get the hell out! I don’t want to fucking hear you, and if I do you’re gonna wish all I did was hit you!” Bradley was startled by her reaction, even if it was valid. Mandi rushed upstairs and Bradley spoke up. “Iris.” She turned her head towards him. “Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up.” Iris stood there for a second, thinking about how she didn’t need his help. But her eyes softened when she realized it wasn’t because he felt obligated, he simply wanted to. “Okay.” He took her arm, leading her to the kitchen. Iris immediately stuck her arm out, feeling around to make sure nothing else was moved in her way. “Is it okay if I help you up on the counter?” Bradley asked and Iris nodded. “Yeah.” Iris turned her back to the counter and Bradley lifted her to sit on it. “Stay there.” Bradley walked away and got a paper towel, soaking it under the faucet before coming back. “Sit still.” Bradley brought his hand up, resting it on the side of her neck before bringing the paper towel up and gently wiping under her nose. They sat in silence as Bradley cleaned her up, making sure there was no blood to be found on her face. When Bradley was done he looked up seeing the tears streaming out of her eyes. Her hands clenched the counter, knuckles white from her grip. “Iris-” “Sorry.” She said, wiping her eyes. “It’s ridiculous I know.” Bradley furrowed his brows. “It’s not ridiculous. It’s completely understandable.” His words made her cry again. Bradley grabbed her arms, slowly pulling her into a hug before she latched onto him. The contact immediately sent her into sobs. Bradley held her for a while, rubbing her back and rocking side to side till she calmed down. 

Mandi grabbed everything she could, setting it all on the couch and coffee table before moving it to her car. Bradley held on to Iris and listened to Mandi’s every move, making sure she only took what was hers and nothing else. Once she was done she walked into the kitchen, slamming her key on the counter. “Here’s your fucking key.” She started out the door and Bradley wanted to yell at her, tell her how big of a bitch she was, but it wouldn’t change anything and he couldn’t let go of Iris in her state. Bradley listened to Mandi’s footsteps listening to her leave and once she did, he turned all his attention to Iris. She continued to cry and Bradley felt for her, not knowing how this situation would truly impact her. After a few moments her crying calmed and she pulled away, wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry, Bradley. I shouldn’t have clung to you like that.” He shook his head, gently grabbing her arms. “Don’t apologize, Iris. This is stressful, I get it.” She sighed, hanging her head low. “Is she actually gone?” Bradley raised a brow and looked towards the dining room. “Sit here and I’ll go look.” She nodded and Bradley walked out, making sure all of Mandi’s stuff was gone and when he peeked out the front window, he saw her car was gone. 

“Yeah, she’s gone.” He said as he walked back into the kitchen. Iris nodded, slowly sliding off the counter. “Thank you for your help Bradley. It means a lot to me.” He nodded. “Do you need my help with anything before I leave?” She shook her head. “Uh no, I think I’m good. Thank you though.” She walked with Bradley towards the front door, hands out in front of her to feel for the furniture. “Do you want my help moving the furniture back?” She shook her head. “No, I’ll get used to it soon.” Bradley furrowed his brows. “Are you sure? I’d hate to leave you with this mess.” She nodded as Bradley opened the front door and she grabbed it. “I’m sure, Bradley. Thank you.” He stepped out onto the front porch as he smiled at her. “Goodnight, Iris.” She gave him a small smile back. “Goodnight, Bradley.” With that she closed the door gently and locked it, and once again Bradley waited till he heard the door lock before walking back to his Bronco. Iris sighed and leaned her head against the door.

 After the drinks she’s had she was sleepy and her nose was still throbbing. She wouldn’t be surprised if it was broken, but Bradley probably would’ve noticed if it was. Iris turned out of the foyer and immediately put her hands out in front of her, slowly walking around the furniture. She bumped into the love seat and a table before she made it to the stairs. Walking upstairs she walked to her bedroom and entered slowly, worried Mandi moved some stuff around in there too. Thankfully it was all the same so she gathered some pajamas for after her shower. The warm water eased her muscles and relaxed her body. Once she got out she changed and crawled into bed. “Alexa, what’s my alarm?” She asked. “You have one alarm at five a.m. and another at six a.m.” She nodded, sliding down into her bed. Everything played through her mind and tears flowed from her eyes. Iris had never been alone for more than a few days before. Now she was alone permanently and the thought was terrifying. A million things could go wrong and she’d be alone and vulnerable. Someone could break in, a fire could start in her kitchen. The thought alone scared her so she got up, making her way downstairs and to the kitchen. She hovered her hand over the stove eyes, making sure she felt no heat and touched the dials, making sure they were all pointed to off before taking a deep breath and going back upstairs. She laid down again, facing the window, moonlight showing on her face. “I’m gonna be okay. Mama always says I’ll figure it out, so I’ll figure it out.” With that she drifted off. 

Iris spent the next few days navigating and learning her living room all over again. Emily would pick her up for work, she’d come home and slowly walk around, figuring everything out. “Are you okay here alone?” Em asked as she helped Iris carry her groceries inside. “Yeah, I’m still adjusting to being alone, but I’ll get used to it.” They set the bags on the counter as Iris started unloading it all. “I’ll go get the rest.” Em said, walking out. Iris left out a bag of ramen for dinner before finishing up. “I can hang around for a while if you want.” Emily said once everything was put away. Iris gave her a small smile. “Thanks, Em. But I’m about to shower and then eat dinner.” Truth be told Iris just wanted to be alone. “Are you sure?” She nodded. “I’m sure. I’m really tired so after I eat I’m just gonna go to bed. I haven’t been sleeping well.” Emily nodded but eyed Iris anyway. “Well, call if you need me. I’ll be over in a heartbeat.” Iris nodded, pulling Emily into a tight hug. “I will, Em. Thank you.” Emily left and Iris did as she said, shower, eat then bed. When she woke up the next morning, the motivation to get up was not there, so she called Emily.

It's been weeks since Mandi moved out, and Iris felt an emptiness in the house she never knew could exist. It was quiet, the kind of quiet that could drive you mad. Iris was still so angry with Mandi, but she also mourned the loss of the friendship they had. Iris hadn’t properly been to work in a while, working the sporadic day here and there before not going for a while. “Good morning!” Emily was always so chirpy in the morning, Iris thought as she laid in her bed. “Hey, Em. Listen, I'm not going in for the next few days. I’m not feeling the best.” Emily furrowed her brows as she pulled her son from his high chair. “Are you okay? Do I need to take you to the doctor?” Iris shook her head and rolled onto her back. “No, I’m just not feeling myself. I think I just need a little time. We don’t have any meetings till next week, but if you need me feel free to call.” Emily nodded but worry settled. “You call me too if you need me.” Iris nodded at her words. “I will.” With that they said goodbye and hung up.  Iris sat on the couch, blanket wrapped around her as she just thought about everything. 

Her doorbell went off, and it tore her from her thoughts. She grabbed her phone, found her ring app, and pulled it up. "Who is it?" She asked. "It's Bradley. I just wanted to check on you." She cracked a small smile at the sound of his voice. She used the app to unlock the door. "It's open." He immediately stepped inside, locking the door behind him before stepping into the living room from the foyer. Iris just sat on the couch, and he just observed her for a minute. Her hair was up in a bun, and her bare legs stuck out from under the blanket she had wrapped around her. The room was dark. No blinds open, no lights on, no sound going. The room was an open expression of how Iris felt. "Hi." She said, and Bradley gave a small smile. "Hi." He responded, walking closer. "So what brings you to this side of town?" She asked, and he shrugged, sitting on the coffee table in front of her. The scent of his cologne and jet fuel invaded her senses, and it was a heavenly smell to her. "I just wanted to check on you. I've hardly heard from you, but I also haven't reached out much, and I'm sorry for that." She shook her head. "It's not your responsibility to check in on me, Bradley." He chuckled. "It's not. But I want to." She gave a half smile, nodding and keeping her head down. "How long have you been sitting like this?” Iris shrugged. “What day is it?” She asked. “Friday.” Her face fell. “Four days.” Bradley’s eyebrows shot up, concern lacing his features. “When was the last time you ate?” He asked. “This morning.” He was relieved to know she hadn’t just stopped eating. 

“Well, are you hungry now?” Iris blushed as her stomach rumbled. “A little.” Rooster smiled. “So am I. Would you wanna join me for dinner?” Iris furrowed her brows. “I appreciate the offer Rooster but I’m sure you can tell, I’m a train wreck.” A very cute train wreck. He thought. “I’m still in my flight suit, my hair is messed up from my helmet and I'm sure you’ve noticed but I reek of jet fuel. We can look like train wrecks together.” Iris fought back tears at his words. “Where would we even go?” She asked him and he smiled. “You like burgers?” He asked and Iris smiled. “Love them.” Rooster couldn’t help but do a little dance in his spot on the coffee table. “I know this great burger place on the beach, you up for it?” Iris thought to herself. She knew it wouldn’t hurt, it would probably do her some good but the thought of actually leaving the house in this state sucked. But her stomach ratted her out, growling again but twice as loud this time. “Okay, I’ll take you up on that offer.” Rooster grinned, gently taking her hand in his. “Then let’s go. I don’t want your stomach eating itself.” Iris laughed loudly as he helped her up. “You’re hilarious.”

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Taglist: @roosterforme @mygyn @kmc1989 @briseisgone @lyn-js @shanimallina87 @dizzybee03 @lilylilyyyyyy @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby @jessicab1991 @hu-dk

[undertalebabbleblog]

UTDR 9th Anniversary Newsletter Musings

(Here's a link to the newsletter if you haven't already read it: Autumn 2024.) (It's spring right now where I am...) (Eh, oh well.)

First of all, Tori blowing fire to light the candles, very cool, might have to draw that.

Hmm, that's a lot of a certain number... You know what, I don't even have to go into this, we all know what it's referencing.

An interview with Sans, heck yeah!

As I expected, it's a joke, but... uh... just me, or does it seem like it might be talking about something else? Not entirely sure what, but I'm sure there's already plenty of theories despite it literally only coming out today. In any case, it was very amusing and some classic Undertale humour. Also

Jeez, Tori, it's been years, you've already made your feelings about Asgore's actions clear. Give the poor guy a break. (Link to the full interview if you wanna read it: Sans: What do you think about the number nine?)

...Toby? Toby, what does this mean? TOBY WHY DO YOU MAKE THE MOST INNOCUOUS STATEMENTS THAT HAVE SO MUCH POTENTIAL MEANING BEHIND THEM ...This is... ominous, to say the least, given the Snowgrave route and the fact that Toriel might join us in the Dark World in Chapter 3... ...I'm just overthinking this, right? ..........right???

Toby, this is the Undertale fandom you're talking to. Since when have we ever been responsible with Sans or his AUs? You should know better than to trust us with this skeleton by now. *Proceeds to use cup for strawberry milkshake* ....Dammit, now I want to draw him with a bunch of different-coloured eyes... just because...

Never misses a chance to do this sort of thing, does he? (It has my real name in it, which I don't really want to show, so have some badly edited screenshots instead.) I have made butterscotch cinnamon pie before and it was genuinely delicious. Would love to bake one in that Toriel pie tray. ...I wonder how a fish and chips pie would actually taste, though...?

PERFECTION

I would buy every single item of this kitchen merch if I had the money.

*vibrating intensely with excitement*

Very nice, always cool to see unused stuff and concepts.

. . .

*Well, there is a man here. *He might be happy to see you. *What do you think?

...I overthink these things too much.

And finally, we get a letter.

My best friend's favorite number is nine. It's because there isn't a number that's higher. 9. 99. 999. 9999. If everything gets high enough, You become invincible. Nothing can hurt you anymore. Nothing can hurt anyone anymore. But isn't it scary, to think there's a highest number? That, if you made 99 good memories, you couldn't hold anymore. So I don't like to keep count of the flowers we pick, or the times that they laugh, or how many scary faces they make. I just hope we'll be friends for 999 more years.

(Couldn't screenshot the whole thing because it was too big, so I just copied the text. Here's a link to the original: Letter) On one hand, the spacing is kind of reminiscent of what we assume is Gaster. But on the other hand, it's not in all caps, and the language is different, and from what we know of the mysterious scientist (which is quite frankly very little), it wouldn't make sense. There is, however, someone else that would make a lot more sense.

*I'll go get the flowers. *I should have laughed it off, like you did... *Okay, [Name], are you ready? *Do your creepy face!

And most telling of all, "My best friend"...

It's. It's Asriel. IT'S GOTTA BE AZZY OKAY COME ON, THERE'S THE MENTION OF THE SCARY FACES AND EVERYTHING

...Ahem.

My hypothesis is that it's Asriel Dreemurr.

Aaaaannnddd... that's it for this newsletter! I needed somewhere to dump my thoughts on it, and that's kinda what this blog is for, so yeah.

A very happy birthday to my favourite game of all time.

If you have any theories or observations about the newsletter, I'd love to see them!

See ya next time, Pup

[thewiddershinsme]

Finished Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson! Full spoilers below:

-I knew I was going to like this book by the end of the first chapter. It’s basically as though the author knew my favorite part of Lirael (in fact my favorite part of the Abhorsen series) was the Library, and decided to write a book just on that. Perfect, it’s just what I wanted.

-Nathaniel is hilarious, I was kinda rolling my eyes that Elisabeth was not picking up that he was teasing her, and had to chalk it up to her growing up as a feral librarian.

-Elisabeth being tall and super strong due to spending her formative years with magic books and dust was such a fun reveal. I had started to notice that she seemed to be a good deal more physically durable than everyone else, but it was so subtle I was thinking it was an author oversite.

-as soon as Ashcroft was introduced, he just screamed “Here is the villain! Right here!”

-Ashcroft’s great-great-grandfather must’ve been inspired by Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood to design the country around the BIG END OF THE WORLD PLAN

-Elisabeth was a great character. Logical steps in her problem solving (if sometimes a bit more idealistic than should be which again fits her solitary circumstances growing up); eager to swing a crowbar or sword at any foe; suspicious of magic (at first) but still practical enough to use the tools she has available; direct in her interactions; and not whiny at all. That’s pretty big actually, there could’ve been so much drama and angst with her falling in love with Nathaniel and having torn loyalties between her place with the Library and her potentially being forever banned for becoming involved with a sorcerer. Instead, their relationship was refreshingly easy: she spent time with him, fell in love, and simply accepted that fact without bemoaning the possible costs. As she said, “they suit each other” (which is one of my favorite romantic tropes, two people who just quietly became accustomed to the other and now are inseparable). Once Nathaniel became dear to her, that was that, and there was no internal monologue doubting her choice or wishing she had fallen in love with someone else or any relationship drama which was refreshing. And of course, it was obvious Nathaniel had fallen for her from almost the get-go.

-Silas was the best character. Loved every interaction he had with Elisabeth and Nathaniel. And I adored the Epilogue (that is how books should end, not suddenly after the action stops but with breathing room to show how everyone ends up). And the final summoning? I was just grinning realizing that it worked

-I enjoyed this book more than Enchantment of Ravens, mostly cause magical Libraries are right up my alley, and I felt more satisfied with this ending than with Enchantment of Ravens’ ending. It’s a great standalone that doesn’t need another book, but am still slightly disappointed that there isn’t a whole series about Elisabeth and Nathaniel and Silas and this entire very cool world.

-there is the sequel novella I’m reading next (Mysteries of Thorn Manor) which I know I’m gonna enjoy

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and Worst of Both Worlds (Part 29)

Tw: mental breakdown and thoughts that made you go a little "wtf", mentions of non con touching, a bit of smut, chapters kinda short

okay here u go Evangeline enjoyers

Part 30

You decided to confront her. The suspense as to why she did what she did is killing you.

So you have to work, on composing a long-winded paragraph with a beginning, middle, and end. Your hands were shaky from the adrenaline coursing through your veins, you were never really assertive. So this is very new to you, yet exciting, yet frightening.

You tried not to be too accusatory and not too dismissive. It was hard because you either tend to paint her as a horrible person or paint yourself as an overreactive dramatic. However, you managed to find the right balance with the ultimate goal of extracting her reasoning behind her latest behavior towards everyone.

You held your breath as you tapped send.

You waited and waited while chewing on your nails. Imagining all the ways she would respond. Anger? Remorse? Revenge? Nonchalance? It could be anything, even no response at all.

Which you thought you might be getting. She hasn't replied to you yet and it's been 30 minutes since you sent it. You sighed, she's probably just busy and will take her time to read too, you should be patient and find a way to calm your nerves.

You were about to put your phone down and prepare yourself dinner; which is just following the instructions Yves plastered on its container- usually only involving the microwave or the saucepan. You jolted when your phone buzzed to life, your mouth was gaping wide when you saw the contact to be your dreaded friend: Evangeline.

You whimpered, pacing around the room as you let it vibrate. You feel unprepared, inexperienced, and upset. You regret doing this in the first place. You wish you could just disappear into a hole somewhere, or disappear into Yves's warm embrace.

It stopped ringing. A text message took its place after that.

"Pick up"

She didn't give you more than ten seconds to read before attempting to call you again.

So you decided to take a leap of faith and answer her call.

"(name)? I read your text, what are you talking about?" She sounded concerned and worried, and there were hints of something darker that you picked up in her voice.

She did not read your text. At least, she refused to understand it. You were clear in what you wanted from her; which was to stop doing what she was doing and reflect upon her actions, giving you her rationale behind her offenses at the same time.

You summarized it, telling her that she was confusing and weird. You didn't like how she tried to touch you without your consent. You cannot figure out for the life of you if she was on Montgomery's side, Yves's, or yours.

"I'm on your side, of course. I'm your friend! What? So I can't touch you now? I think you need to get out of your shell more, (name). That didn't mean anything, you can touch me the same way too if you want to get even--"

You cut her off and told her no. You don't think whatever she's doing is merely a friendly gesture. You felt dirty and violated even having Evangeline suggest that you do the same to her.

There was a beat of silence, followed by a sigh.

"...I'm sorry you felt that way, (name). I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just trying to be a good friend."

You didn't know what to say next. Soon after, you heard sniffling and soft weeping.

"I'm so sorry. You're such a good friend to me, I don't want to lose you. Please don't be mad at me." Her voice cracked and wavers. You

You don't know how you feel about her reaction. But you do know that, unlike Yves, you have the power to walk away from her. He's coming back tomorrow anyway, so you won't be the 'friendless' on campus anymore. So you can afford to cut her off because she's acting strange and you think that being with her, will lead to more trouble.

You told her that you're not mad at her. But you don't feel comfortable hanging out with her anymore.

"What?! W-why? I apologized, what more do you want me to do?" She raised her voice and strained it painfully. You hear that she began to sob and wail.

You told her that there was nothing she could do except to move on. You wished her the best and said goodbye.

You hung up before she could get another word in. You immediately blocked her and flopped onto your bed. The breath you exhale felt like smoke evacuating your lungs, you felt you could breathe properly again without feeling too worked up. At least that chapter of your life is done, you most likely would either need to take the bus or Yves would drive you around. Fine by you, no Evangeline or Mr. Jones in sight.

You will let Yves handle Montgomery, he has a bigger, legal hammer to beat him with.

__

"Sweetie...?" Mr. Jones creaked the door to her room open, letting the lights from the hallway spill into her pitch-dark room.

She was crying, her breathing was choppy and her whimpers bounced off the walls. Evangeline was sobbing into her pillows, her blond hair was a mess around her, unlike her usual combed style. Her beautiful dress was wrinkled and her blue eyes were red and puffed.

Her father stared at her with heartbreak and pity. You must have told her already. However, he knows that this behavior of hers needs to be addressed. Evangeline's mother is cooking downstairs, she was never the type to be compassionate in her discipline methods. So Mr. Jones decided to be the one to break the news to her.

"Oh, Evangeline..." He switched the lights on and sat right next to her sniveling form.

She didn't acknowledge his presence, nor did she wish to talk to him. But he has to discuss with his daughter that some things aren't acceptable.

"Sir Yves... he called me earlier." Mr. Jones felt her entire body tense up to the mention of his client. "Mx. (Name) told him you were touching them inappropriately, is that true?" He was gentle with his words, careful not to provoke his already emotionally unstable daughter.

She neither confirms nor denies. Evangeline just stayed very still.

"...Please, Evangeline. You have to talk to me." He pleaded, rubbing a soothing hand on her shoulder. "What's going on?"

No response.

He shuffled himself on the bed uncomfortably. Mr. Jones cleared his throat.

"You can tell us anything. You know Mommy and Daddy love you no matter what." Evangeline moved a bit, but it was only to adjust her positioning. Her face remains buried in her pillow.

"I-I don't get it, I know you're a good girl but... these things that happened to you, these things you did... Why?" He asked, gently shaking her as Mr. Jones looked at her in desperation.

"Hitting your baby cousins suffering from illnesses, pushing your pregnant aunt Myrtle down the stairs, accusing your uncle Ben of infidelity, the rumors about some... ridiculous cheating scandals, and now this? Why?" Tears threatened to fall from his eyes as well, he bit back his lip to try and avoid it from rolling down his cheek.

He retracted his hand when he felt Evangeline trembling. It was soon made known to him that she was shaking in hysterics.

"You are all so ungrateful! I was trying to help everyone!" She snapped, her heart holding an ugly contempt for the world around her, which included her doting father.

"They weren't going to live long anyways, their mothers constantly complain of needing to take care of their children. I wanted to save Aunt Myrtle from that horrible, horrible fate, but I'm the villain? Uncle Ben hated his wife and kids, he wanted to escape. I gave him that escape, didn't I? He went ahead and married a woman much prettier and younger than his ex, didn't he? Why am I the villain?" She screamed as she hyperventilated, her father taking a step backward to avoid her erratic movements.

"Evangeline-"

"I didn't- I didn't steal her boyfriend! I was trying to get along with him, I wanted us to be a big happy group but they were fighting. I didn't want them to fight..." She sobbed loudly into her hands. Her nails dig into the delicate flesh on her face as she tries to quell her rage. "They were my friends! (Name) was my friend, I tried to help them, I tried..."

She crumbled to her knees and bawled. "I tried helping them get along with Sir Yves, but I was punished for it. I tried helping them get along with Monty, but I was... told I was 'weird'. I just wanted something back, I just wanted to touch them, they were so good to me... I wanted to touch them. Was that so wrong?"

"Yes, Evangeline! You can't just... touch them like that! You don't touch your friends in that manner, you don't touch anyone in that manner! What are you..." He was at a loss for words. Her father tried looking back at what was being taught to her, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but why couldn't she think normally? Her logic is distorted and her sense of entitlement is demented, it's much more serious considering that she began her unhinged quests for justice just a year ago.

She looked away and wept some more. Evangeline is alone again, a feeling so familiar to her. It's ironic, that her parents tried to expose her to as many people as they could to improve her loneliness as an only child. But in a room full of children and adults who she knew on a first-name basis, she was alone. So, so alone.

There is nobody in the world she could tell her thoughts to. She tried telling her mother, her so-called 'friends', her extended family... they all deemed her crazy. She was forbidden to have her truest opinion on life and Evangeline never understood why, it felt unfair, it felt like the world was against her. Not even the vastness of the internet allowed her to find like-minded companions, she was shunned out of communities she desperately yearned to be in for being true to herself.

"You're just like the rest..." She mumbled inaudibly under her breath. "It's useless..." She muttered, a bit more coherently now. Enough for her father to pick up on.

"What's useless, sweetie?" He wiped away his own tears of anguish, it was horrible to see his child suffer like this, but he did not have the skills or understanding to help her.

"Crying about it... it's useless." She sniffled and wiped away her tears. Mr. Jones watched her blink multiple times with a neutral expression.

Evangeline stared into the distance for a few minutes. She didn't blink nor did she speak, not a single twitch of her muscle could be seen or felt. Her father was worried that she wasn't even breathing because her sniffles stopped and the girl let her nose drip freely. Her blue eyes are dilated and blank.

"Evangeline...?" Her father hesitantly shook her by the shoulder. She blinked one last time, allowing a tear from each eye to roll down her already damp cheeks.

When she opened her eyes once more, her usual girlish sparkle was back. Evangeline blew her nose on a piece of napkin she pulled from her tissue box nearby. She crumpled the soiled sheet in her hands, a long strip of muscle on the inner side of her wrist was raised when she squeezed it in her fist. She let go and threw it into her trash can.

"All better." She smiled, patting the area under her eyes with her fingertips.

Baffled by her sudden, impossible change, Mr. Jones tried asking her all the questions in his head, but it came out as a pathetic stutter.

"I'm sorry for costing you a customer, Daddy." Her eyes were downcast. "I promise I won't do it again."

Mr. Jones's eyes darted around her. Confused and terrified at this strange switch of hers. "Sweetie, I-"

"If you'll excuse me, Daddy, I need to freshen up." She stood up and smoothed her hair. "Please leave my room, I will join you and Mommy downstairs for dinner, later. Okay?"

He has no words to give. So he nodded and as usual, became a pushover for his daughter.

She guided him out, waved goodbye with the sweetest smile, and closed the door. Her hand went to the knob to lock it shut.

She took a moment to stare into space as she listened for her father's footsteps. Once she's positive that he has gone downstairs, she lets out a sigh.

Evangeline switched her lights off and headed to her bed. She laid on it and picked her phone up.

The screen illuminates her face. She made a few taps on it and soon found herself scrolling through her picture gallery.

"Maybe it isn't so bad to be the Villain..." She mumbled to no one in particular, grinning to herself.

Her pupils dilated tremendously when her optics landed on a picture of you on the beach. You were bending over and collecting seashells, so focused on your activity that you didn't notice a pair of lenses capturing this moment.

Evangeline's breathing became more ragged as her eyes glimmered at the sight of your mildly saltwater-dampened rear. You're such a prude, how she wished you wore something a bit more accessible. That would have made her very happy. Maybe if it was a little warmer, you would have worn something a lot more revealing and easier to worm her depraved digits around.

Her soft hands slowly slid down to her panties, torturously tucking one finger at a time under the fabric.

The more the blonde stared at different pictures of you, the further her perverted hands and thoughts went.

She stifled a moan as she touched herself, she imagined doing all kinds of unspeakable things to you. She wanted to see you under her, she wanted to see you squirm and beg for her forgiveness. Evangeline wanted to ravage you like the beast she was under that heroine-like persona.

She quivered as she pumped her fingers into herself. But her eyes never strayed away from that photo of you. Evangeline wanted to take you so badly, she wanted to overpower you and have you pinned against the wall, the bed, the floor... She drooled at the thought of you so helpless and despaired.

Her baby blues shifted towards your clueless face. You looked like you never experienced the high of an orgasm before. She could fix that, she could make you cum over and over again until you fell unconscious in her fluffy pink handcuffs, eyes rolled back into your head, and all your orifices dripping with sexual fluids. What a sight, she thinks.

She had to push her face into her pillow as she let out a powerful moan.

Even then, she still went on. Furiously rubbing herself and imagining herself as this antihero in your story. But ultimately, you saw her as your savior in her mind.

[coolingrosa]

Honestly about nightmare....it upset me quite a bit how he just didn't at all understand why Killer was acting out like this. It felt so obvious? Like with Dust showing up and Killer acting out in response to it....Unless this is a common occurrence? I am really wondering what nightmare thought about this, if he even tried to read Killer and his behaviour or perhaps ask Dust about the relationship between the two. Did he just not think anything about it? Just assume "oh its a kid throwing a tantrum, it'll pass"? Man i'd rly like to know it from his perspective. Maybe he is used to ppl throwing tantrums, considering I am pretty sure error flips out a lot too. I guess the problem hereby lies with the fact error is an immortal and an adult and killer,.,,is not. and nightmare just simple doesn't distinguish the two properly.

But honestly I think nightmare should have known better than to snap at Killer ToT..... I believe that him snapping did ultimately the most damage, error just kinda added a bit more salt to it to be put it simple. After all Killer favoured Nightmare obviously a lot more than Error, he was like a parent figure for him basically. So Nightmare snapping would mean a lot more than what Error says. I don't like how error told Killer that advice though, he basically just told him to "suck it up", in the pretense of "caring" for nightmare and not wanting to see him upset. It feels wrong to say that error cares though, because of how he is STILL stuck in the past. It almost feels like he is talking and giving advice to Killer more for himself than for nightmares sake.

Both error and nightmare are so inexperienced with mortals and so fucking mentally fucked up themselves, I doubt they will act any different unless someone who is a mortal corrects them...And I honestly thought Dust would do it? At one point it felt like he knew why Killer did it, but then it felt like he did not?

ultimate question however: how will nightmare react to Killers change? I wonder if alarm bells will ring or if he will just think that Killers "phase" finally passed. And I fear it'll be the latter.... So sorry for the long ass essay, I have SO many questions AND IT IS SO HARD TO TELL WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN AND HOW THIS MESS OF A MAKE-SHIFT FAMILY IS GOING TO DEVELOPE.....

You’re analysis is so wonderful and definitely the mixed emotions I wanted to give. Especially since good and evil doesn’t exist in Roseverse, just people and their actions. A lot of my YouTube and tiktok dragged on Dream solely for a while due to the limited knowledge, so chapter four was a big drop as it showed just how out of depth and horrible Nightmare and Error could be as well. I’m gonna try to answer each part of this the best I can without revealing too much!

1. Nightmare is used to Killer acting out, which happened a lot in the pilot, so he doesn’t put two and two together that these moments are connected- especially since Killer has never been put in a situation around him to show that he ALSO has jealousy issues as well as self esteem issues. For a while it was just them and sometimes Error in the castle, which Killer never showed an act of jealously towards- only distrust.

2. Nightmare’s perspective won’t be shown a lot in the next Bad Sanses chapter unfortunately, so I’ll try my best to explain his reasoning here. Don’t take it as a defense. I may explain characters and their actions, but at the end of the day, Nightmare is a adult and has a responsibility.

Nightmare’s main flaw (and I can now finally state this) is that he doesn’t care for people who are not under his radar. Saying he doesn’t know much about negative emotions is redundant, but his abilities to help with them have long since faded ever since the loss of Ink. Killer clearly is the product of a teenager with intense mental health issues, and Nightmare never got to see Ink as a bratty teenager. Killer is the only example around him and so he quite frankly sucks at it and sees his outbursts as…well…tantrums. He can’t fully see Killer for what he is and constantly sees him as a child due to his own age, and that belittling makes Killer’s emotions and rightful feelings come across as childish to Nightmare.

The mention of Error is also correct. Nightmare is used to emotional and violent outbursts since he was thirteen- especially from those close to him. Error and Nightmare as children weren’t healthy and Error was an abusive friend. I will always state that. However, though Error improved his ways, Nightmare never fully blamed him for such things and therefore never saw anything wrong with the people he loved lashing out and being hurtful. It’s normal for him- and also not smth to be addressed in his eyes. However, Killer is a child and as the adult, Nightmare has a responsibility to step in and correct his behavior with disciplinary action rather than passiveness. But, of course, he doesn’t until he finally snaps

3. Yeahhh I will say what Error told Killer didn’t bother him too much until he made the comment about Dust. Killer is far too use to the verbal abuse Error shoots at him that it rolled off of him and he was more annoyed Error was still in the room. Error and Killer just aren’t and will never be close enough for their fights to leave any impact. Nightmare, though? After finding out truly what Nightmare is capable of and then being told that? Oh, yeah, Killer is crushed.

4. This was one of the few times Error tried to actually help in his own way. Error doesn’t word himself well, even when being vulnerable. He hoped Killer would understand it as “there’s no need to lash out as ur already here and cared for. So just stop hating urself and others and finally feel secure. “ Was it not so great advice and easy to be misunderstood from what he actually meant? Yea. Did he just COMPLETELY miss the mark on mental health and the struggles of slowly getting over the fear of abandonment and the steps it takes to FEEL that security? YEAH LMAO. But Killer definitely misunderstood him as well. And Error also misunderstood something about Dust as well. I’ll expand more on that in my last point.

5. Dust may be smart, but he can’t put together a case without solid evidence and explanation and due to him not being there from the start, he doesn’t truly understand why Killer is acting like he is. He knows it has something to do with Nightmare, but what that actually is? He can’t know. I believe this won’t be a shock, but Dust does think Killer was being abused by Nightmare and therefore becomes like a guard dog. When Killer jumps him, that ideas gets thrown out the window and Dust is left utterly confused on the motives. He doesn’t hate him, though. He’s just confused, and hurt.

6. And unfortunately, Dust isn’t empathetic enough to be the one to truly understand things. Wonder who will be, though…

7. I cant say too much as that’s a chapter seven thing, but I will say it’s where Gus the immortal frog comes in (Killer’s pet) and given by Nightmare. I’m sure you can put two and two together as to why Nightmare, who is clueless about everything teenager related, is stooping to giving the apathetic Killer a pet 😭

8. Almost forgot this part but Killer is an unreliable narrator. He will always be, and the next bad Sanses chapter will see that, as it won’t be in his perspective solely. Everything he sees and thinks is unreliable. For example, when they reach the au and Dust is slowly blinking at him while Killer demands to know why he came too, Killer takes it as a threat. What if Dust actually doing? Blinking at him like he’s a angry cat bc Dust doesn’t understand emotions and defeats to animal behaviors to help soothe this teenager LMAO