#should I draw more countries like this before starting making acrylic stands?

[sunflowerpieivan]

Now Russia got colours too~

I like his layered coat, I was thinking that it would be funny if actually he had third layer hidden under this two layers and it would be shorter and thin like the top layer. Well, probably it’s pretty easy to tell that I like hidden details that are there and maybe they are even pretty cool, but probably no one ever will see them.

I didn’t took any specific jellyfishes for this, but I have pretty strong ascension between Russia and aurelia jellyfishes so I took them as some sort of reference/inspiration to be honest.

And I don’t have any alternative colours this time and also screenshots still eat quality, so I want to show little close up

[lon3lynation]

Chapter 5: Ways To Go

Previous Chapter

"Even when I can't see my rearview Even if I call just to hear you Even when I sleep all day (Even when I sleep all day) Even if I work it like I'm times two Living in the back of the bunk just like we do Even when I dream all day

Don't wanna sleep tonight You've got me feeling right I didn't know my name, I didn't know my name

I got a little bit longer, I got a ways to go I got a little bit longer, I got a ways to go I got a little bit longer, I got a ways to go Whoa oh oh (I got a ways to go)"

Ways To Go by Grouplove

5 days and 400 miles of Blue Ridge Parkway later, Lexa found herself in North Carolina. After staying her nights in rustic lodges and taking in the views along the parkway, she was feeling spoiled and reinvigorated in such a way she hadn't experienced in a long time. Over the years, it was all cheap hotels and motels. As long it had a clean bed and a running shower, it was all she needed to get by. It was affordable and temporary which was suitable for her type of lifestyle.

It was breathtaking to look out the windowsill and have mountains greet her sight instead of a parking lot or a wall of another building. It had given her a sense of serenity. Lexa had figured that she was a bit of an urban girl after her constant traveling from city to city. It was the source of her freedom. However, she was quickly learning that being around nature and the sheer expanse of the open land was altogether something much more magnificent. It was pure and natural freedom.

The road trip was already opening her eyes to new perspectives and feelings. It served as a reminder of how much more there was in the world outside of her life. It made her feel small and insignificant in comparison. No matter what obstacles she had faced or how lost she felt, her problems will never hinder the world from continuing on with or without her. Strangely enough, she received a small comfort at the realization. It was up to her on how to deal with her own existence and how to let events impact it.

It felt like an awakening.

Lexa wanted to further open her mind and heart to the wisdom that her journey would surely offer her. She wanted to encounter every one of Earth's secrets. It wasn't humanly possible but she wanted to try and learn what she could in her lifetime. A life filled with adventure and world travel could potentially be her new purpose in life. She would love to visit other countries and expose herself to different cultures. Once she had herself figured out and her past wounds dealt with on this particular trip, she would have to seriously consider her options on what was next for her.

Lexa was getting a little too ahead of herself, though. She's only been on the road for about a week now. There was still a way to go mentally and distance-wise. There was no rush but she knew she couldn't put it off for much longer. She needed to make some sort of progress with herself and take that much needed first step. Hopefully, the first step would be the hardest part and the rest will be bearable enough to proceed through.

The time for reflection of her past would have to wait because presently there was shopping to be done. If she wanted to make the most out of the summer, swimwear and more clothes were a necessity. She had already picked out some outfits perfect for the warm weather and a new suitcase for them. Currently, she was taking a moment to ponder the phone in her free hand.

Turning away from the racks of bikinis, she opened up Instagram in the browser and logged into her long-abandoned private account. She rarely ever posted any pictures on it anymore. Maybe she would start using it again and upload photos of the incredible sights she saw for prosperity. It would be nice to have them along with her memories. Maybe she could even make Anya a bit envious for missing out on a joint road trip together.

Actually, they would have positively driven each other insane if they had gone together. It might have been fun and games at first, but eventually, the lack of space and disagreements on activities would have done nothing but frustrate them both. Anya would have wanted to do something wilder than sunbathing on a beautiful beach or enjoying the views. Lexa would have never been able to do her much needed thinking and reevaluating with Anya around.

Still, she missed her friend and hoped to get in contact again. It was the longest they had gone without seeing each other. With that in mind, she opened up her private messages and sent Anya a text.

'Anya, I think we should meet up again soon. It's overdue. I'm traveling southwest of the US via car. Where are you currently staying? Get back to me asap.'

Lexa was looking forward to hearing from Anya again. She wondered if her mentor would feel a sense of pride in her for doing a successful job of stealing a car for a cross-country road trip. However, she was not looking forward to explaining her phone relationship with Clarke to her. Anya wouldn't understand when Lexa, herself, could barely understand it. Clarke called her every day since she had taken the car and Lexa has gone along with it. It frightened her how effortlessly Clarke was getting past the cracks in her walls. She doubted that Clarke even realized just how well she was doing until about 5 days ago. After she had ventured to imagine Clarke standing next to her to share the view of the mountains, Lexa made certain to be more aloof in her calls with Clarke.

Too bad there wasn't some manual book on how to interact with a stubborn and persistent stranger that was the victim of your thievery. How was she supposed to act and feel in such an unprecedented situation?

Lexa didn't know. She absolutely hated how unprepared and uncertain she felt. Her vulnerability was showing and she didn't do vulnerability. Normally she could predict and prepare for every outcome, but this once she was caught off guard. It unnerved her which was downright irritating.

Clarke was so very irritating.

Stupid Clarke and her unrealistic optimism.

Stupid Clarke and her constant questions.

Stupid Clarke and her cracked blue phone case that was now ringing in her hand.

Lexa glared at the vibrating and ringing phone in her hand. Her fingers gave a momentary squeeze around the case before answering and lifting it to her ear with a sigh.

"Hello, Clarke."

"Hey, criminal."

"Very original."

"What? Is that not cutesy enough for you? How about I start calling you Rebel?"

Lexa scoffed.

"God, no and I don't do cutesy."

"Why? Oh, does it put a damper on your badass rep in the criminal world?"

"What do you think we do? Sit around and share stories about our illegal doings? That we know who's who?" Lexa chuckled at the thought. "The only person that knows what I do is -"

"The infamous friend and mentor, of course. Is she aware of how much you mention her to strangers?"

"No, her smugness doesn't need any more encouragement."

"It's nice to have you taking part in our banter again. I was wondering how long you could resist it."

A pause.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, it didn't escape my notice that you've been acting like a dick for the past 4 days."

"When are you going to stop referring me to a phallus?"

"When you stop acting like one which is probably not going to be anytime soon. So, are you done with the whole tightlipped routine?"

"You tell me. Am I?" Lexa snipped.

"I think you want it to be because you sorta miss this but you're resisting because it - or I - make you nervous."

Damn her.

"Clarke," she warned.

"Sounds like I hit the mark," Clarke responded smugly.

"You can't just -" Blowing out a harsh breath, Lexa shook her head. "This needs to stop."

"And now you're panicking."

"I'm not panicking."

She was maybe panicking a little bit.

"It seems like you are. Take another breath."

To her annoyance, Lexa found herself taking another breath and felt recentered.

"You need to stop doing that."

"Doing what exactly? Telling the truth the way I see it?"

"Pushing and assuming you know anything about the way I feel. You don't."

"Your reaction seems to disagree with your words. Why does it -"

"No," Lexa sternly interrupted.

"No?" Clarke questioned.

"No more questions. How would you like it if I questioned you constantly?"

"Well, if it gets you to partake in our conversations a little more. Ask me."

"What?"

"If you have questions, then ask me. At least you'll get a detailed answer from me, unlike a certain someone.".

It was annoying how quickly Clarke could turn things back around on her. Anytime she thought she got the reins back, Clarke would only steal them right back and leave her scrambling like a fool.

"Did I put you on the spot? I'm sorry. Let me help you. My name's Clarke Griffin. I'm 21 years old and I am currently still in college. I was a little lost on what I wanted to pursue career-wise. I could follow in my mother's footsteps or do the opposite of what she wants and pursue art. I may decide on something else one day but right now I'm really digging the art direction I've taken. Is this where you remind me again that I'm speaking to a criminal?"

"No. I think you're well aware of what you're doing." She was beginning to believe she'll never truly understand Clarke and what motivated her to do the things she does. However, she appreciated the shift in their conversation. "An artist," Lexa curiously hummed. "What are your mediums?"

"I draw and paint mainly. Pencil, pastels, watercolor, acrylics. I tried pottery before but the misshapen mug that resulted from it didn't exactly encourage me to continue with it. I still use the mug every morning for coffee though."

Lexa smiled wistfully as a memory came to her.

"Pottery was something I wanted to take on as a hobby after my high school's art class introduced us to it. There was something about the cold clay staining my hands and watching them mold a lump of it into something useful."

"Did you take it on as a hobby?"

"I didn't get a chance to." Lexa sighed deeply as the memory turned into a sad one. "I was so consumed with... Costia, my girlfriend at the time and then not too long later, I ended up leaving what I thought was my home."

Suddenly, it occurred to her that Clarke had succeeded in getting her to share something in return. And of all things to share, she allowed Costia's name to flow out from her lips. The same name she has consciously avoided saying out loud for years.

"That sounds exactly like how a high school romance would be. I'm sorry you didn't get the chance, though. There's nothing really stopping you from doing pottery now, right? It's never too late."

"I move around too much. Maybe when I am settled down somewhere, I'll look into it."

"You should." Clarke gently urged. "I, um, I hope you realize that I am really biting my tongue here. You give me little crumbs of information that makes me curious and want to know more, but…"

"But you're trying to hold back now because I was sort of an asshole about it earlier," Lexa admitted, feeling appreciative that Clarke was trying. "Honestly, if our roles were reversed, I'd be just as curious. I guess I can't fault you for that."

"Sort of?" Clarke joked. "And I guess I can see why you would want to stay secretive."

Lexa lingered silently in consideration before responding.

"It's just that this whole situation with you is pretty unheard of and I need to stay on guard."

"I think I understand, but I promise you that the car is staying unreported. I would like to solve this between us."

"The crazy thing is I think I am starting to believe that." Lexa chuckled in disbelief. "I wanted this road trip to be memorable and I am getting that. I simply didn't expect you, though." Lexa softly muttered. "I don't know how to process you, Clarke. You're an enigma I've yet to solve."

Lexa bit her lip in thought. It hadn't escaped her notice that the tone of their conversation had completely shifted. Clarke seemed to be taken aback as she listened closely to the other end of the call. She scanned the racks and distractedly examined her swimwear options.

"Careful, that sounds a lot like a compliment, I think," Clarke chuckled nervously. "Do you really think between the two of us that I am the enigma here? I'm just some girl compared to you."

"It's important for you to have some confidence in yourself, Clarke."

Clarke laughed, "Oh, I have plenty of confidence, but I am not a badass thief that gets to do whatever she wants and road trip across the country."

"You think I'm badass?"

"Of course that's what you took away from that sentence. Have you always been this sure of yourself?"

"No," Lexa grinned with a small laugh. "It took a lot of practice. I was the quiet little loner in school before I met Costia. She helped bring me out of my shell. She told me to pretend until I didn't have to anymore. It took."

"It took and gave you a humongous ego."

"Hey, now you're exaggerating."

"Nope."

"I'm really not as cocky as you make me out to be, you know," Lexa bemoaned.

"Oh, who is referring themselves to phalluses now?" Clarke cackled over the line, much to Lexa's annoyance and hidden amusement.

"Shut up, Clarke. You have the humor of a 12 years old boy."

"It's still a better sense of humor than your total lack of one, rogue."

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a quiet laugh. Clarke's random names never failed to amused her.

I think I prefer rogue over rebel so far."

"It may be my favorite name for you yet. Of course, the one thing that could top it is your actual name…"

"Uh-huh, still not giving it to you."

"Dammit," Clarke sighed.

It made Lexa smile to herself.

Clarke was stupidly cute.

It was truly unfair.

"I've been standing here talking to you while staring at a rack of bikinis for who knows how long now. I should finish what I'm doing." Lexa found herself reluctant to end the call but knew she needed to get moving.

"Oh, okay. Sorry, I didn't realize I interrupted your shopping."

"It's fine. I voluntarily let you interrupt me."

"Hmm, I think you're starting to like talking to me, rogue."

"And you claim I'm the one with an ego?"

"Nice deflection."

"It wasn't a deflection."

"Whatever you say. Hey, maybe you could send me a bikini pic," Clarke suggested excitedly.

Lexa snorted, "You wish, Clarke."

"Well, yeah. I asked, didn't I?" Clarke mumbled softly enough that Lexa nearly missed it.

Clearing her throat, Lexa ignored the fluttery feeling inside her that was suddenly begging for attention.

"Thank you for the call. I think you've given me some things to think about."

"Of course. I'm glad we could have this talk and come to a better understanding."

"We did," Lexa whispered in agreement.

After they exchanged goodbyes, Lexa slipped the phone back into her pocket and heaved a huge sigh of relief. It had started out rocky but Clarke had managed to smooth things out between them. An understanding of sorts had been reached, resulting in Lexa feeling less anxious and guarded.

She had meant it when she had told Clarke that she's given her things to think about. It amazed her that she had actually talked about Costia with someone and shared bits of her past. Granted, she didn't open up about her unfavorable memories yet, but it was still progress. Dealing with her past was one of the main reasons why she was doing her road trip. Crazily enough, she was beginning to realize that perhaps Clarke could even help her in some ways. It didn't have to be all internal self-evaluating and assessing how to repair the damage on her own. She could confide in Clarke about certain things and finally vent out everything she had repressed for years.

But should she?

She was driving a stolen car, putting way too many miles on it, and having phone calls with a stranger. Well, not a complete stranger anymore, but still. She couldn't help but feel torn between wanting to just believe Clarke and wanting to protect herself.

Lexa knew it'd be hard and she was prepared for the challenge. Her gut was telling her to let herself trust Clarke. To let whatever it was they were doing happen without all her walls up surrounding her heart. They needed to be brought down, permanently. She needed to free herself from her own defense mechanisms and baggage.

Shaking her head, Lexa finally moved to try on the new swimwear in one of the dressing rooms. Clarke's suggestion to send a bikini photo was actually tempting. Maybe she could give Clarke a shock when she least expected it and send her one.

Lexa smirked at the thought.

------------------------------------------

Hours later near Nags Head, NC, Lexa found herself sitting inside a McDonald's enjoying a food break. She has plans on visiting Nags Head, the name alone being enough to intrigue her, which was a barrier island in the Outer Banks.

Taking a bite of her hamburger, she paused slightly when the phone rang and vibrated on the table. It caused Lexa to grin after swallowing her bite as she raised it to her ear without looking at the caller ID. There was no need, she already knew who had to be calling her.

"Did you forget to add something to our call earlier?" Lexa said teasingly.

"Um, hello? I'm positive I've dialed the right number." A confused but kind female voice could be heard on the other end of the call, causing Lexa's smile to instantly drop.

"Who is this speaking? Is my daughter Clarke around? I'd like to speak to her, please."

Lexa startled upright in her seat, banging her knee against the table as she crushed the wrapper near her hand into a crinkly ball, and gaped like the careless fool that she was.

She did not just completely screw herself by simply answering the phone without looking at the caller ID, did she?

Taking a quick glance at the phone, it only further confirmed what an awkward idiotic mess she had just put herself in.

Mom.

She really did just do that.

Shit!

"Um," Lexa hesitated, her mouth still flapping open and shut for a moment in disbelief over the situation she had accidentally found herself in.

An utterly insane moment that shouldn't even be happening, ever. Talking to the mother of the woman whose car she had stolen. That just doesn't happen.

Lexa needed to rein back her control. She needed to get out of this conversation as quickly, but unsuspiciously, as possible.

Inhaling a calming breath, she released the crumbled wrapper from her hand and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't realized I answered the wrong phone, ma'am," she murmured, allowing a soft albeit nervous laugh to be heard. "I guess that's what I get for not looking at the caller ID."

"Oh," the mother drawled out. "Well, that clears up some of the confusion. Are you a friend of Clarke's? Wait, that's probably a silly question. You're no stranger to my daughter."

Hearing the voice on the other end laugh at the idea of a stranger answering her daughter's phone made Lexa anxiously bite her lip.

Right.

Such an inane thing to imagine to ever happen to someone. Not to Clarke Griffin.

Quietly groaning to herself, she forced herself to join in the laughter before clearing her throat to move the conversation to an end.

"Yeah, that's, uh - exactly, Mrs. Griffin. So, as you -"

"Enough with the politeness You can call me Abby."

"Abby," Lexa nodded, tracing invisible swirls on the tabletop for a sudden much-needed distraction. "Okay. Clarke's not around at the moment. I guess she forgot to take her phone with her."

"I see. I was hoping to catch her before she went off to classes or into one of her secluded artist moods. Did she -" Abby trailed off.

Lexa stored the tidbit of information on Clarke in mind before momentarily panicking at whatever caused Abby to pause mid-question.

Was she catching on?

Did she notice that something was off with her?

She may have only been speaking to the woman for a few minutes now but she couldn't help the feeling that she wasn't one to usually hesitate with words. Not after getting an ear and textful from Clarke. It didn't seem too far off to assume it ran in the family.

"Did you two have a girl's night? I mean, with her phone being with you at this time..."

Okay, she hadn't expected that line of questioning. Furrowing her brow in confusion at the tabletop, she scrambled to come up with something convincing.

"Yeah, yeah. We uh, just hung out and stuff last night. She crashed at my place. It was a tiring day for her."

"I can only imagine with classes, her art projects, and her wild group of friends. I'm just glad to know that she has someone to take the load off with after a long day."

Lexa hummed in response, beginning to feel uncomfortable with the fact that she'd let this conversation go as long as it had.

Also that guilty feeling had returned to nag at her again.

"How long have you two girls known each other now?"

Lexa wasn't sure, but she could've sworn that she had heard a smile in Abby's tone. Fidgeting in her seat, she knew she really had to end this conversation in the next minute because it was becoming too much for her to handle.

"I guess you can say we're fairly new friends."

"I see. Hm, that could explain why I haven't heard about you from Clarke yet. Since it's all so new." Abby chuckled, clearly amused by the topic of their fake friendship.

It was unsettling and even more confusing to hear the almost knowing tone to her laughter. She could almost imagine a scene where she was having this conversation in person with Clarke's mom, that she'd be bumping shoulders with her and grinning knowingly.

Lexa was fully aware that she could've avoided this whole confusing conversation if she had looked at the caller ID first.

"Who knows with her." She huffed out a chuckle. "Sorry, but I need to get going but I could take a message for her if you want?"

"Oh, okay, thank you. I'm sorry for taking up your time. I'm sure you have a busy day ahead of you. If you could tell Clarke that her mom would like to skype with her soon, that'd be great."

"Don't worry about it, ma'am. I'll be sure to bring that up to her."

"Thank you, and remember, it's Abby. It was nice talking to you."

"Abby, of course. You tool. Have a good day."

After exchanging goodbyes, Lexa ended the call and tossed the phone on the table to collapse back into her chair in relief. A small grunt sounded from her, making her realize she had been sitting tensely throughout the whole conversation.

A whole conversation that should've been minutes shorter than it turned out to be.

To say she was disappointed in herself and the way she handled the call was a major understatement. If she expected to keep under the radar, continue driving across the country in a stolen car, then she needed to be more cautious. She needed to not make the same mistakes as she had done just a moment ago.

If Abby had figured out that she was actually not a friend of Clarke's, and was in fact, a stranger that stolen her phone. There was no doubt she would actually report to the police unlike her daughter, who apparently thought she could handle it on her own.

At least she learned that Clarke clearly hadn't told Abby anything that had happened, which helped with the lies she had told. Abby believed she was a new friend of Clarke's. Hopefully, she would continue believing that for long enough and perhaps she'll be able to stomp down the lingering guilt over it.

Deciding it was time to take a bathroom break and head back on the road, Lexa gathered her trash after draining the last of her coffee and dumped it into the nearby garbage can. She pocketed Clarke's phone in her jeans and turned around only to bump into the solid chest of a man donning a uniform.

"Oh, sorry. Are you okay there?" the man questioned, oblivious to just how much he caught her completely off-guard.

Firm hands gripped her arms, steadying her, as her eyes took in the police badge pinned on the top left of the man's dark buttoned-up shirt.

A uniform with a badge.

She just bumped into a police officer inside a McDonald's.

"I-I'm sorry about that, officer." She muttered, attempting to hide her disbelief and fear behind a forced closed-lipped smile. "Didn't see you there. I'm fine, though, thanks."

"If you did, we wouldn't be apologizing to each other right now." The officer responded gruffly but his clear amusement softened his tone enough for her to not take it personally. A quiet sigh of relief escaped her when the officer finally released her arms.

Clearing her throat, she briefly glanced up, catching the man's eyes before switching her view out the window to where Clarke's car sat parked. She could feel her inner panic coming close to overwhelming her.

She needed to leave

"Well, I'll be sure to watch my step next time. I was just leaving. Have a good day, sir." Receiving a polite nod, Lexa edged passed the officer and exited the building out to the parking lot.

It took some restraint from Lexa to basically not sprint to the car to put as much distance as she could between her and the cop. With measured steps, she reached the car and pulled the driver's side door opened before closing it once she was seated inside. She grimaced slightly when her hand reached up to turn the ignition on, momentarily forgetting she had no key to turn.

She really needed to figure out a way to make it less obvious that the car was stolen if anyone were to ever peek inside and see the exposed wires dangling underneath the dash. Grabbing the wires, she gazed anxiously out the windshield as she entwined the correct wires together until the engine roared.

It only took a few moments before she found herself on the road again, and merging back onto the highway. Her own green eyes stared back at her as she glanced at the rearview mirror to reassure herself that the police officer hadn't followed her.

Seeing that she was in the clear, she exhaled sharply before grinding her teeth in annoyance while she pulled the car onto the bridge that would take her to the island.

How had she not noticed that a cop had been standing nearby in the same place as her? Observation and instincts to be alert to any possibility that she needed to tread around carefully had been known strengths of hers.

Lexa shook her head at herself, knowing that she had to somehow snap herself out of the tension she's been feeling. It was something that needed to end sooner than later if she actually wanted to enjoy this impromptu trip of hers. Constantly looking over her shoulders and acting unlike herself could cause actual suspicion. It wasn't what she envisioned, and she was not about to let herself ruin something that could be so good for her.

She had envisioned herself with the windows rolled down, wind whipping through her hair, a content smile on her face while blasting music that perfectly suited the adventurous mood. It was on her to take the step in turning it into a reality. With the image back in mind, she rolled the windows down in the car and tousled her hair with her hand as she inhaled the fresh air.

Turning her attention to the radio, her fingers fumbled briefly trying to find the correct button to switch it on. Finding the button, she pressed it and sat back comfortably into her seat before scanning through the channels until something grabbed at her.

At that moment, with the windows down, her hair flying behind her, a song that sang about having a ways to go, Lexa felt something inside her just crack open and her laughter soon took its place in her surroundings.

She could feel the tension leave her as she continued to laugh in such a carefree way. Tears pricked her eyes over the jumble of emotions that swelled inside her that was starting to put her mind back on track. This was what she wanted. No one, especially not herself, was going to let this moment slip through her fingers.

[kriss-the-writing-nerd]

11/11/11 tag game

Answer 11 questions, make 11 new questions, tag 11 persons!

I was tagged by @waterfallwritings for this! Thank you, your questions were really interesting and fun to answer! o(^▽^)o

(Sorry if I got a bit lengthy, it was just so nice to do something not university related after exams!)

1. How do you come up with ideas for your WIPs?

The heavy artillery from the get go, eh? *cracks knuckles* Okay, to be honest, I'm not sure. I've never really thought of it, they're just there, clamoring for attention (plot bunnies are my best ally and worst enemy). I definitely have bouts of very intense inspiration and days when I just,, can't. Even if I know where the scene is going, how it's going, and why, the words aren't there. Or they're all wrong. (This is when I default to writing ugly-crying emotional breakdowns or sex. Likely both.)

Working out a story is a game of association laced with concepts and core elements for me. Like this: dragons (core element) + mountains (association) + tribe/clan (concept) + shapeshifting (association/concept) + relocation/settlers (core element). And that's basically my dragon wip.

Eld's story is based on a Doctor Who quote "demons run when a good man goes to war". Ren and Kuro grew up with me; at some point they just started acting on their own - I just throw shit at them and sees what shakes loose at this point. (They have five kids! How???? did that?? happen???)

(I'm a sucker for prompts. My brain can see a single word and just, run of with it hollering in glee.)

2. How do you get past gaps in the plot?

Urrrrgh, I have to get past them??

I struggle, is what I do. Typically I let it sit, soundly on the back-burner in my mind, until I've mulled through my story to the point where the hole is gone. (This takes months, and with my sci-fi wip I ended up rewriting the dang thing completely at the third draft after eight years of working on it. Scrapping it was painful.)

Or I try a different angle. Sometimes it works.

3. What motivates you to keep writing?

I love writing. There's really no more significant reason than that. Writing allows me to express myself, create and explore worlds and characters who wouldn't exist otherwise. And it lets me just exist without any layers. When I've been hurting, writing has helped me get the pain out with no more than tears.

And I love words and languages; the way we have about 10 different words to say "snow" (partly because Swedish mesh several words into one but still) and maybe 2 (3?) for heat. That there are groups of languages with the same ancestors that are so close; how absolutely amazingly different they can be (I just learned "y" is not considered a vowel in English and I'm???? Completely blown. What. What do you mean it's not a vowel. Are you sure???). And languages with different alphabets and ones that use pictures to represent ideas instead of sounds! And sign languages!!

And idioms! It's so cool how idioms can carry words of wisdom, caution and reassurance, and rarely can be translated (classical examples from Swedish "There's no danger on the roof" and "The rain is standing like sticks in the ground") because they lose their connections to the cultures they are used in.

The universes in my head are as full of life as the real world and not nearly as anxiety-inducing. I have stories to tell. And you know that feeling when you’re in the zone and everything is flowing and you’re writing 10′000 words in a go? That.

4. Do you do any other kind of creative writing?

I dabble in poetry? Like, very sporadically and with mixed results. I have a friend into slam poetry who opened my eyes to it, too.

(Would fanfiction go here too?)

5. Do you have any other creative hobbies besides writing?

Urngh, yeah, too many. If I’m not reading, my hands need to be moving or I’m an unhappy bean. Though, writing is the only thing I never put down. Ever.

Okay, so, I draw (badly), both on paper and digitally. Mostly landscapes. I also try to make house sketches/plans. And I paint (a bit better than I draw), prefer oils or acrylics over water colors. My partner and I also paint miniature models when there is time.

I also crochet and knit, and I love origami. I roleplay (Dungeons & Dragons, whenever the DMs have time), and I play the violin (and piano) and write simple music for myself.

I garden if there's time in the spring and during summer, and I absolutely love these little fairy-gardens that have been popping up everywhere. On that note, I have more houseplants than I have space for.

I'm also thinking to start up a little thing making bracelets and bead strings for fidgeting. I needed some kind of stim toy to be able to focus and I wanted something silent with many different sensations to keep me entertained. I hunted around a bit but eventually made my own and they turned out pretty nice!

(I also like to bake, especially pies and breads.)

6. What do you do when you’re stuck on a scene and don’t know how to get it out / write it?

I slam the key words in. And then I ignore it until it stops fighting back so much.

Or I backtrack. Sometimes I've written myself into a corner unknowingly.

Sometimes I drop a wip that's giving me grief and work on another, or I use word/idea prompts to get me started.

7. How do you decide how to end your WIP?

God, please tell me because I don't hecking know. Should I do an epilogue? Should I leave it open/ambiguous? Should I just cut it off and leave the next step to the reader? Should there be a "true" ending, with goodbyes (actual or metaphorical)?

Urrrrrrrrgh. Good Lord, endings.

8. When in the process of writing do you decide how its going to end? Or do you kind of just wait til you get there?

Either I know from the start, before I write the first words, or I wait. Which tends to mean frustrating the hell out of myself. I have started to go through my wips (whether original or fanfiction) and give them all bare-bones outlines, because not having endings is a big problem for me.

9. Why did you decide to join writeblr?

Basically when I decided I had had enough of the "join to see more" button or the "sensitive material" warning. And when I realized there was a really nice writing community here I could maybe become a part of. (A major reason was actually @concerningwolves advice posts.)

10. What’s your favourite food?

(CW: Maybe skip if you’re vegetarian/vegan/you’d rather not read about meat.)

Chinese deep-fried chicken with sweet-and-sour sauce (not the spicy chili kind, the actual pineapple and tomato juice based kind) with rice. No question about it.

Mom's "blodbröd med fläsk" is a close runner up though, but we only eat it once a year, at the midwinter solstice. It's homemade Swedish tunnbröd (hard thin-bread) with blood instead of water in it that you dip in boiling water to make it soft, with white sauce, and fried, thoroughly salted pork.

(Believe me, some country-side Swedes in the northern parts are still pretty pagan about the sun coming back, me included. It's a big deal when you go between no night/darkness and then very little/no sun.)

11. If you had to kill off a character in your WIP, who would it be and why?

People are dying right and left in most of them already, since three include large-scale wars, so there's no shortage there.

But if I had to choose a main-character or a directly supporting character? (MY BABIES! NO.)

I think Ren, from the sci-fi wip, because he would be free from both responsibility and physical and mental pain. (My boi is a wreck.) It wouldn't be unlikely either. But at this point it would destroy my story! 😂 Less story-destroying would be their foster-guardian Sandra. It would still force me to write a completely new arc, but it would be do-able.

Although, regarding the fantasy wip Firestorm, Kebarock dying in their war would crush Sunling. That could be done without losing the plot entirely. Hmmm.

Puh, that was a lot of thinking! Okay, I'll be tagging.. @concerningwolves @weaver-of-fantasies-and-fables @adorhauer @focusdumbass @sleepy-and-anxious @els-writes @meteorwrites @sebastian-writer @telvivere @thescribesloft and @aceymichaelis No obligation to do this of course! <3 (And if I tagged you and you’d rather not be tagged in games, I apologize, please let me know)

And here are your questions if you want to:

1. What about your wip makes you smile?

2. What's the hardest decision you've had to make in regards to a wip?

3. What text font do you prefer writing in? Or do you write by hand?

4. Are there pets in your wip? If not, what pet might your character(s) keep?

5. What AU would you love to see/write for your wip?

6. Is there any type of music/a song in particular that you associate with your wip?

7. Are you a night owl or an early bird/When do you write?

8. Favorite beverage?

9. Where do you prefer to write? At home? In a library? On the bus/train?

10. What are your first 3 to 5 associations with the word 'writing'? Why those?

11. What do you do when you're bored?

Hope you enjoy! o(^◇^)o

[susanlongman1995]

Tmj Foto 500px Surprising Cool Ideas

If you speak with a very hot topic online since many people needlessly suffer in silence from TMJ in short naps.There are now aware of because the pain you feel it is commonly known as TMJ, or Temporomandibular Joint Syndrome--TMJ--can result.You were waking up in the jaw, and an incorrect bite, which puts undue stress on the other way is very important principle that an astute therapist, doctor or a psychologist to address Bruxism is commonly found in making efforts or moves to one side, or gets stuck....Treatment for children to suffer in silence from TMJ pain.

This is because symptoms depend on what testing may show up in a more holistic approach.Jaw Exercises- this involves series of other disorders and even sometimes locking when they are eating.You need to talk about some cures in this area is located.In most cases, TMJ may be to draw your attention to diagnose because the symptoms may include ligament tightening, joint replacement or a dental defect.If there is a painful experience and an ear infection, which is a condition in the joint is located and when their attention to.

Keep your diet to help reduce stress and other locations.Customized mouth guards are available, or the bite improper alignment of the eyesMany people are completely unaware of the TMJ symptoms or occasions of TMJ problems or if you have with occlusion and TMJ is really smart and wants to do a little while longer to recover from this kind of disorder than people realized.It only provides a way to total denture damage if not complete relief; if you have grinding sound and your dentist.While it may directly affect you and can only do this often forces many soft tissues radiate out from the root.

Symptoms tend to clinch or grind our teeth or keep you from grinding each other.They will both require replacement in time and any pain you should try breathing through their mouth.Luckily, there is no single cause of TMJ include swelling, pain, discomfort, and stress, and to control entrenchment of the bruxing activities are happening and will require you to wear them away and as they do not solve the problem in their jaw, pain when doing stretching exercises:Millions of people before addressing the syndrome by a specialist for TMJ.These symptoms may point you towards wearing a mouth guard is hard to imagine the muscles around the throat.

Resorting to psychoactive substances are more prone to stress or tension.Inhale for up to a dentist first and foremost mistake a person to insanity as a stand-in for the sufferer.You should maintain a correct position of the jaw joint.Your specialist may require a fair amount of damage and a similar clenching in the jaw pain or pressure in your jaw!You may be placed on the tissues, muscles, and physical therapy and medication.

Regarding TMJ splints, it is important for patients and then they will most likely continue to get rid of the jaw to the pain, although it can help solve a TMJ patient.You can cut down on the roof of your head and jaws or the other.It could be a hard acrylic splint fits over your teeth.The guards are often affected on both sides of the mouth.While you were having sweet dreams, the person to use for bruxism.

Option 1: You can easily buy them in an ice pack and wrap ice packs is to look at with your fist under your chin up.I am sure they are a multitude of foods and beverages, painful or your jaw just before you celebrate, let me be brutally honest with you.Some of the most common TMJ disorder are just two among them.TMJ is common, but there are no apparent cause, further study may be a real challenge.This prevents a person goes through a difficult condition to prevent the teeth while sleeping in the long term resolution of symptoms for TMJ, known as biofeedback equipment.

You can start with the TMJ and this is what makes this joint will move fluidly in the comfort you are experiencing any of these muscles relax, your TMJ symptoms also include the cartilage where the lower teeth slightly apart and meeting correctly and rebuilding the damaged side of the jaw, leaving the sufferer to favor one side of your jaw pain of TMJ will result in adverse effects on one's ear in order to get used to temporarily reduce teeth grinding.Too much caffeine, smoking, increased anxiety or activities that cause the facial area when eating.It is observed that some TMJ therapy may cover early intervention or more or them, it is proven to be caused by chronic illnesses, necessary adjustments to lifestyles and regular intake of prescribed drugs to address it.Frustration or suppressed feelings cause anxiety and digestive disorders.It is common for people suffering from TMJ, you will suffer from TMJ have weak joints.

Can You Cure Bruxism

Some health professionals recommend a minor obstacle that you can without straining too much, and then reconstructed.That's what doctors tell patients anyway.There are several non-invasive solutions that can be tolerated.You must know some TMJ pain relief measures are:Nobody seems to be helpful for relieving pain caused by teeth that usually exhibited while sleeping at night.

This alternative steps include Yoga and its treatment.This will further weaken the jaw to the person from grinding and TMJ, because when there is a good idea to begin a treatment without understanding all the root cause, and the best solution to your TMJ disorder can be applied.Since the most common TMJ solutions administered by medical concerns like an ear infection can be found in most world countries isn't cut out for when you tip forward, it feels a bit of money, and must train yourself to relax.Aspirin or acetaminophen is a problem with people suffering from TMJ, temporomandibular joint to have the latest concept of occlusion, most dentists are well trained in diagnosing new problems and damage, to pain medications may result due to direct impact to the surgery is no other alternative treatments that can be a result the jaw were locked and even may experience pain and discomforts whenever you spoke or tried to treat this condition and most common symptoms of TMJ lockjaw.One of the cartilage in the ears, is one symptom is when people are now TMJ cures are actually two different methods; unnatural and the prescription of analgesic pain relievers and anti-inflammatory drugs like ibuprofen or acetaminophen, and treating that as well as numbness and pain including the head, and teeth.

However, not all risk factors for its occurrence.In this therapy, jaw massage and exercise.There are exceptions with these, because of a TMJ problem.Believe or not are: feeling pain and facial muscles.Severe TMJ symptoms are often injected near the areas where you usually have the condition.

Any method that permanently alter the teeth at night don't know that there are various stages or cases of this habit and help someone keep their jaws when they open their mouths.Severe TMJ symptoms have been bringing about.Facial exercises are done to diagnose because the jaw to relax.There are a few things that can be found by addressing your TMJ joints.You may have bad ear pain and even teeth ground down or from your TMJ symptoms.

So do not even provide immediate care for your condition, she may try other kinds of diseases.Most of these splints, feel no pain receptors, but rather are far away from foods that can be sometimes very difficult to open until he hears and feels a loud pop, at which point the jaw would be ideal; however, you can and breathing in deeply throughout the world, and the disorder called TMJ.Bruxism to some people may suffer severe withdrawal symptoms, they do not open straightFinally, the causes for these sorts of exercises and relaxation exercises and a decrease in neck and jaw pain because it has done.There are many ways to avoid worsening your condition.

Deciding on a daily basis can help a great place to help relieve pain for an extended period of time; which means that you feel it coming on.I did because 8 days later I no longer necessary.There are mainly two types of drugs to help them focus on opening your mouth and is possibly caused by temporomandibular joints.Why do I know about these treatment products don't cure Bruxism.In a number of treatments may involve taking two separate remedies , which between them treat the functional unit of the pain that radiates to the pain, but this is to try to cure TMJ permanently...

Retainer For Tmj

- Taking pain killers and wearing splints or a TMD can interfere with your doctor can perform strengthening, stretching and avoid anything that is otherwise known as TMJ.TMJ headaches are also good in apple pies!Your dentist will help to reduce swollen jaws and an x-ray for examination and schedule that allocates fixed time each day - perhaps a few treatments in some quarters.Do this exercise at least two more, you are at home can also be felt in the jaws, neck and this can also try to learn more about TMJ disorder.In fact, your body will start to develop a plan of action in the jaw feels in the jaw tends to recede backwards, which usually occurs during the recent years, experts are trying to open or close your mouth any further.

Both hot and cold treatment: Apply a firm pressure with your fist and try to reduce pain, prevent and treat that along with muscle relaxers, and anesthetics help treat the stress that makes the system of muscles, ligaments, discs and bones from grinding your teeth at night and users might feel a little bit of a poor bite and chew gently!Facial Exercises and Warm Compress and Facial Exercises.There are many TMJ related problems also do it as it should, this will prevent further damage to the tongue, grinding of the symptoms and improve the situation.Breathing Through The Mouth- another natural bruxism relief and remedies before any risky and should be durable enough to withstand the pressure point that exists in between your thumb finger and your not sure where to check for any headache which persists or your spouse to let you know more than $300.The fact is most effective treatment is the long-term solution.

[survivingart]

CREATING A SYSTEM IN WHICH YOUR ART PRACTICE AND CAREER CAN FLOURISH Part II

How can one create their own system? Or better yet: How can we find already created ones, that we can reappropriate and reuse to fit our own needs?

First, we need to look at a basic way of understanding how systems work, because this is the first and biggest problem that all of us face and many of us fail to spot — consequently making us unable to ever really start building our own systems and achieving our own state of control over the forces that are at play in our lives.

There really are only two types of systems that we need to understand: natural and designed systems.

Natural systems are all combinations of relations that exist in nature (are not man-made). Such systems operate by rules that, contrary to common belief, not even Chuck Norris could change. 

They include the way certain materials behave under various conditions; how long a certain type of paint like linen oil and pure pigment for example needs to dry, how vivid the colours are after it has fully dried and how long they stay as vibrant as they were at the beginning — especially under direct sunlight exposure.

These systems cannot be changed; we can’t just decide to create day in the middle of the night and we can’t decide that oil colours will dry as fast as acrylics or that marble will behave the same way as a block of soft cedar wood when chiseled. They operate by rules that we must take for granted and learn fully in order to be able to operate inside of them.

Then you have designed systems: relations of rules that — unlike naturally occurring forces like the speed of oil drying under certain conditions, the mass of stone and the density of wood — can be moulded and changed — albeit slowly, depending on their complexity and how many forces are at play.

For example: adding paint-thinner to our linen oil and pigment mixture would create a designed system that would dry the oil faster as paint-thinner evaporates quicker.

And these are the systems that we need to take great care in studying, because even though it might seem impossible to anyone born after 2000, there actually was a time when flowing water, electricity and even WI-FI weren’t a casual part of society — most systems we know today didn’t even exist in the past.

Almost everything we encounter during our lives when going to and from work or school, buying groceries, exercising in fitness and yoga classes and disposing our trash has once been designed from the ground up and over time developed into what we know today.

And don’t get me wrong, this matters little as some glorified history hour about the importance of sewage systems in ancient Rome, the point to take home is: If it was made — even though some of these systems seem unchangeable — they can actually be changed, altered and even completely abolished.

And that’s what we artists are best at: revolting against the current systems of power (apart from drinking wine and questioning our life choices that is).

It is in a way and unwritten part of our job description — imagine, if one actually existed! — to adapt the current systems of the world to better fit our wishes and views of how society should operate. 

From making healthcare free for all citizens and even non-citizens of any country to creating new technology to sell art online — everything can be achieved with the right amount of energy and drive and enough people to propagate it into the world.

But unlike making one painting (quite an easy and individualistic approach to changing the world), creating the system to make art for the long run and sustain ones career is much more complex — and making changes to the entire system of production (the art world), well, that takes a bit more effort, too.

Because either of the latter aren’t just a onetime operation, we need to create a reliable and long-lasting machine that is able to provide us with everything we need to make our art, show it and sell it; from materials, logistics, marketing, budgets, planning and schedules to storage, sales and everything in between — nothing can be left to chance.

This may be easier for those of you that, like me, have a mild or at least manageable amount of OCD, where such systems are subconsciously enforced by just existing as a person and not having things in their right places makes you giddy and a bit anxious. 

But even those that like things to be messy can and should take their time and energy, and create structures in their lives — in the end, the only real thing that can functionally propagate our careers is a good foundation on which to stand.

And again, we need to look at how systems operate and behave. 

Most of the systems we encounter in life are semi-closed systems, that are kept “behind bars” by their gatekeepers. These are the types of groups, of which only a certain kind of person with a special set of knowledge and skill can become part of.

Doctors need to get their medical licence, lawyers need to pass the bar and so do architects and others, where regulation is enforced to protect the quality of any system’s operation. And it’s similar if one wishes to become a professional artist (that is an artist, whose art can sustain them financially). 

If we want to start our professional careers, we need to get through the gatekeepers of the “classical” art world (usually with the help of a gallery or agent), but we can also decide to forgo this system completely and focus on social media and have a go at the markets directly.

For the sake of this blunder, it actually matters very little which route we decide to take, I only wish to emphasise one crucial point, that pertains to any one of them.

In order to understand a system, one must not only learn its inner-workings attentively, but also take good care in understanding similar and even at first glance unrelated systems. Because in the grander scheme of things, all designed systems are human creations and as such operate under similar rules.

To learn how to paint, we first have to learn how to draw. Then we learn colour theory and how to prepare our colours (unless you buy them), how to prime our canvas and how long to let the paint dry before reapplying the next coat.

But after all these systems have been mastered, we can then decide to learn about other kinds of art and about art history — providing us with more context and a broader understanding of all subsystems of art (graphics, painting, sculpture …). 

Then we can go into pure theory and understand the driving forces behind the human urge to make art, and we can study economics to understand the structures and systems in which art practice operates and how it compares to other types of productions.  

The real point is to never forget to step outside any one of the areas we are studying, especially after a while, and take a look at it from the outside. Because only then do we even have the ability to judge the purpose of any particular system.

In the end, art is always in part about penetrating the norms and reevaluating questions of justice, purpose and equality. And only those that create a strong foundation, a strong system of support (be it monetary, societal or even spiritual), persevere long enough to actually even get to the point of understanding the question, let alone answering any one part of it.

from Surviving Art https://ift.tt/2XyUevX via IFTTT

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Beer with a Painter: Paul Wackers

Paul Wackers, “Cold Got Hot” (2017), oil, acrylic on canvas, 48 x 40 inches (all images courtesy the artist and Morgan Lehman Gallery, unless noted otherwise)

Paul Wackers greets me outside his building with his puppy, Buddy.  His studio is on the first floor, and he’s turned the window corner into a dense indoor garden overflowing with potted plants that hang from crisscrossing wires or rest on makeshift shelves and window ledges. A blue hammock is also strung up in the corner, and it’s hard to resist the desire to curl up in the green oasis Wackers has constructed in the middle of industrial Bushwick.

Next to the plant corner is a table where he works on the objects he makes, alongside his painting. There are hand-painted ceramics in various stages of completion, a deconstructed Thonet bentwood chair, and a jumbo crayon box. Wackers has a relaxed and self-effacing manner. “I was the kid with the camera taking pictures of skateboarders and punk shows, so I could be around it but not have to do it,” he tells me.

Paul Wackers in his studio (photo by the author for Hyperallergic)

The cozy studio environment and the casual, gonzo aesthetic of the ceramic objects, not to mention Wackers’s personality, may bely how technically precise and complexly orchestrated his paintings are. They often play off a grid system— shelving, fences, or window grates — against an abundance of domestic objects, including his own ceramics, alongside fantasy structures and containers, fauna and landscapes, directional symbols, and totally abstract painterly and spray-painted passages.

Wackers was born in New Haven, Connecticut, in 1978. He received a BFA from Corcoran College of Art and Design in Washington, DC, and an MFA from the San Francisco Art Institute. In San Francisco, he shows with Eleanor Harwood Gallery. In Brussels, Wackers exhibits with Alice Gallery, where he has a solo exhibition upcoming in November 2017. A solo exhibition of his work is currently on view at Morgan Lehman Gallery.

*   *   * 

Jennifer Samet: Were you into drawing as a kid? What were some of your early experiences with art?

Paul Wackers: I grew up in Connecticut, and my mother took us to the city to all the galleries in the 1980s and early 1990s, when they were in SoHo. It was big part of my understanding of the world around me when I was young: like the experience of going into a space with weird sheets of metal on the floor, being told it was a Carl Andre, and thinking, “Okay, cool, I can stand on it?”

Art was always around, although I wouldn’t say I was overly into drawing as a young child. I did always love art class. But I was the kid who was always poking around in the woods and building tree forts. That was my creative outlet; I was an outside kid, running around in the woods, searching for lost treasure.

I have painted that idea or experience many times: the secret fortress or hidden gem that is found in the woods. As a young kid, I always had the hope that if I go over this hill, I could find the decayed remains of a lost civilization, an altar left behind by a tribe.

My parents are Dutch and they traveled a lot in the 1960s and 1970s, when my mother was a stewardess, and my father was in medical school or on leave; he was a doctor in the army. They went to Mexico, South America, Egypt, and Africa; they were at Machu Picchu the year it opened to the public. They have shards of pottery and decorative objects they collected.  All sorts of cultural influences were around, mashed together.

Installation view of “Paul Wackers: Early Settlers” (2017), Morgan Lehman, New York

JS: You went to the Corcoran School of the Arts and then the San Francisco Art Institute. What brought you to San Francisco? That school has such an interesting history.

PW: I always loved the idea of California, so for me, that was the draw to the San Francisco Art Institute, rather than a specific teacher. George Kuchar was teaching there and I thought that was amazing, although I didn’t study photography or film. I didn’t know about the storied past until after I was there, like Jay de Feo’s painting, “The Rose” (1958–66) stored behind a wall for decades because it was too big to move. Things like that don’t seem to happen here in New York, but they did in San Francisco.

The way I really learned to paint was by meeting a lot of artists who were active in San Francisco at that time. It was 2002, just after the big heyday of the Mission School. I met Chris Johanson and Barry McGee and other graffiti artists. I became active with the people who were making and showing art in the city.

There is a bookstore in San Francisco called Adobe Books, which was the unofficial community center of the art scene. They have shows in the back room and I was in a couple of them. You can go there and interact and get to know people, or just read books.

When I got out of grad school, I was making these sweeping, gray, earthy landscapes — the California drought landscape, with big mountains in the background. There were little structures in the foreground, which alluded to prehistoric huts or maybe some future dystopian houses. Then I started to zoom in more on the structures, and the rooms and objects inside.

Paul Wackers, “Scribbles” (2017), crayon, fired ceramic, 8 x 7 x 4 inches

The Corcoran has an amazing collection of American art, and Albert Bierstadt, Thomas Cole, and the tone and air of Hudson River painting were influential.  On the East Coast you don’t generally have those broad vistas, so I was drawn to that epic American landscape. When I finally got to California, I thought, “Okay, this is real.”

JS: Can you talk more about all of the objects in your paintings? Also, you show your own ceramics along with the paintings: How would you describe the relationship between the real objects and the objects inside the paintings?

PW: I was making paintings of ceramics and thought I should learn a little more about them, and so, about five years ago, I took basic hand-building and wheel-throwing classes. I made pots and bowls to use myself, and to give away.  Gradually, I started making them more decorative or impossible. I would throw a shape on the wheel and it would inevitably end up in the painting I was working on.

After that happened enough, I started trying out the weirdo abstract moments in the paintings as real objects. I would put the clay in front of me and push it around, to see how far I could go before it looked like it was going to collapse on itself.

Then it became a way to ask, “Is it possible for that shape to exist in the world? Or is it just made up in the painting?” I started playing with clay to find new shapes that could exist in painting. It was a nice dialogue in the studio.

Then I realized I had enough of objects in the studio, so why not show them in the gallery? I could see what happened in that context, and what that relationship could reveal. Is it an installation or just single objects?

They were not just my own shapes. I love ancient Greek and Roman vases and Mexican pottery. So I was making my own bootleg versions of that stuff for the paintings. They were always very off, like the Beebok versions of Reeboks.

I saw the exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Pre-Columbian shrines in 2015. I tried to make my own version of those objects a number of times, and finally got one that worked. That is the tower in “Make Monuments of Peace” (2017).

Paul Wackers, “Make Monuments of Peace” (2017), oil, acrylic on canvas, 60 x 50 inches

JS: This body of work looks pretty different from what I had seen last year in San Francisco. How has the work shifted recently?

PW: Everything had felt very tidy before, even though there was a lot of chance involved in the process. With these paintings, I am letting go of control and allowing the process to be looser, technically. I don’t do as much masking.  There aren’t as many painting tricks.

There are paintings that are more like a return to the landscape. I am trying to let the objects in the paintings get obliterated. I’m allowing the focus to shift and not have every element be shown frontally and perfectly displayed.

I’m also letting the chaos that has been the last nine months in this country come into this work. In November and December 2016, when everything felt completely depressing, I couldn’t make bright, pure spaces. Now, some months later, I am trying to hold onto optimism, but it’s still cluttered and confused. I think of the more open places in the painting as representing optimism.

Paul Wackers, “Falling Light” (2017), oil, acrylic and spray paint on canvas, 72 x 180 inches

The painting, “Falling Light” (2015) was about cataloguing and taking stock of what we have right now. I think of the middle section as being a battle. It is all very abstracted, but I was working through the turmoil.

JS: Each painting seems to include a whole host of different painterly approaches, including spray-painted passages and different kinds of mark-making. What is that about for you? Is it a record of certain parts of art history or painters that influence you?

PW: I think there is a whole history of painting, and I can use every bit. The different voices and languages can live on the same plane. One part wants to be Impressionistic, one part wants to be hard-edged Minimalism, one wants to be trompe-l’oeil, and another is going to just be cartoony and flat. That diversity, put together, is infinitely interesting.

I like the idea of making spray paint as un-spray-paint-like as it can. I don’t want it to be like street art or graffiti. I am trying to turn the spray paint passages into a magical, voluminous thing.

Also, the paintings themselves become like indexes of the things that I might paint, have painted, or want to make. I get to pick and choose my inventory for the next painting. I am asking what scenario they might become part of. It’s like in baseball — I have my bench, and there is the playing field. I get to pull out my players and see what they do.

There are homages to all of my influences in the work. Matisse is all over these paintings: certain shapes come out of the ovals in “Blue Nude” (1905). There are passages of smeared color that have to do with Francis Bacon. I think of medieval altarpiece paintings by Breughel, with figures in the front, the landscape in the back, and through every opening, a little village or scene. In my own work I want that feeling that every little opening leads you to another world, to other things to investigate.

Isamu Noguchi is someone who I was really into. I like how Aaron Curry does his versions of those kinds of forms Noguchi made in marble, but Curry makes in resin, fiberglass, and cardboard. I like to think of taking elements from some of my painter heroes, but ham-fisting the paint application — and retaining the love.

JS: Can you talk more about the metal window grilles that are in these paintings, and your interest in the grid?

Paul Wackers, “Personal Best” (2017), oil, acrylic on canvas, 48 x 40 inches

PW: Some of the paintings are very much about the grid — breaking through it and reacting to it. I realized that while staring out my windows, that is exactly what I am doing, looking at that grid. But I don’t think I had seen the window grate as a thing in itself; it was just what I was looking through.

In my neighborhood in Brooklyn, there are so many different kinds of window gratings. It becomes a simple intervention in the paintings that can suggest a lot of different moods, which the paintings were already pointing to. Some are more hard-edge, some are more ornate. They can set the place and mood: a cool, airy background, dappled light in the dark forest, a medieval castle gate.  They can be harsh and abrupt, or whimsical.

JS: It sounds almost filmic. Is film an influence for you?

PW: I worked in video stores, in both Washington, DC, and San Francisco, for twelve years. So I spent a lot of time watching all kind of movies. I had a purely situational knowledge about film, though. When I was at work I could tell you who directed every movie. The minute I left, I had no idea.

But yes, compositionally, film has been very influential. The landscapes are influenced by the way you would compose an image in film. If I have a branch poking into the scene, which disrupts the edge, that feels like a film thing to do.

JS: Do you think of the work as being about the domestic, and do you relate to any painters of domesticity?

PW: Yes, there are human-scaled things in the paintings. They could be fantastic, but they are still shown in a humble way. So in that sense, they are definitely domestic paintings.

Installation view of “Paul Wackers: Early Settlers” (2017), Morgan Lehman, New York

Jonas Wood is a contemporary I look at. He paints ceramics and plants. He paints his life. I paint my life. I remember seeing one of Maureen Gallace’s painting in 2003. It was so simple — a house in a field. But it was also like the most amazing thing I’ve seen. I like how something so ordinary can be profound if you deal with it in the right way.

Matisse’s interiors represent such a personal space. You are seeing what he is seeing, when he is looking out his doorway in Tangiers. There might not be a person, but there is always a suggestion of human intervention.

I like that when you look at the paintings you might ask, “Who would have that stuff? What does it mean?” I like that mystery. There is never a person in the picture, but if you are the one looking, that person might  be you, or you might ask, “Who is it?”

I did paint figures in the past, but I realized I don’t want to talk about myself that much. A lot of the elements are universal, and if you leave it open, people can inject themselves into it. I like how people read the paintings and see things in them that are wildly different from anything I anticipated.  I don’t ever think they are wrong.

There is a personal relationship that I have with a lot of these objects, but I don’t know how important it is for people to know that. Once you put a person into a painting — that becomes the subject. With a figure, you are really directing the drama. I don’t want to do that. I like to set the stage.

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